#Why didn't get just get pretty rocks out of this technique | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

potassiumivy · 7 months ago

Text

PLAYBOY. | jjk

❥ mdni. fic masterlist.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ 006: PRETTY, PRETTIER.

✞ 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐁𝐎𝐘✞

AFTER MENTIONING SUKUNA'S VESSEL, you had no trouble convincing the two other third years to accompany you back to jujutsu tech the day after. even though the decision to reintegrate you three laid in their hands, kirara and hakari weren't really nervous to face the higher-ups today.

on the other hand, you were kicking rocks with the tip of your shoe. you were oddly quiet today, and it made hakari worry a lot. he wasn't very good with comforting people, but he knew someone who was.

and so, he lightly bumped into kirara and pointed at you discreetly, a silent signal that they should check on you instead. turns out kirara didn't quite get what the silent signal meant.

"ugh, kin," they groaned loudly, "are you horny again? this is the second time we've—"

"what? no."

"can't you keep it in your pants?? why do you always think with your dick?" they continued, clearly fed up.

hakari tried to clear up the misunderstanding. "shut up and listen. don't get bratty now."

"ew. you're even acting like those men who unironically call themselves master." kirara fake gagged at the end.

hakari scoffed. "i"ll never stoop that low, unlike you."

"you know what? fuck you and your fever."

your sudden laughter stopped their bickering. wiping your tears, you pulled hakari aside, taking his place in the middle. putting your arms around their waists, you gave them a little squeeze before looking up to meet hakari's questioning gaze.

"thank you, kinji." you smiled sweetly, before turning towards your other friend. "thank you, kirara. you managed to distract me a little."

"didn't plan for it to go this way, but it worked i guess." hakari chuckled, shaking his head. "what was bothering you anyways?"

"i was just thinking about my plants." you sighed.

"i hope someone took care of them for me."

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

✞ 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐁𝐎𝐘✞

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

it was nostalgic to be back in the jujutsu technical college, especially when the person in front of you was the same old hag that hakari punched before kirara spat in his face. he was, in fact, the one who got you suspended. he was also the one animating the meeting or the "court" as he liked to call it.

you three with the addition of gojo were nudging each other and hiding your giggles under your hands like a bunch of kids under the observant eyes of the higher-ups and the major sorcerer clans. it was ridiculously difficult to look at this man's face and take him seriously when his left eye was still swollen and that his eyebrow would randomly twitch, courtesy of hakari hitting a nerve, literally and figuratively.

"gojo, i don't see the necessity of you sitting with your old students."

"i give them emotional support." he stated as seriously he could. he was visibly struggling.

"they don't look like they need it."

"well, we do." kirara interrupted. "if your eyebrow didn't twitch so much, then maybe you would've seen it."

this was enough to make you four burst out of laughter.

principal yaga wasn't surprised by gojo's moronic behaviour. rising up slowly from his spot, he made his way to his ex-student and harshly grabbed his ear.

"ow, ow, ow! stop that!" gojo whined, but yaga didn't pay him any attention as he dragged him across the room to make him sit next to him. "why am i the one getting punished anyways?"

"you're an embarrassment." gakuganji, the principal of the kyoto college, said loudly.

"and you're a breath away from death." kirara scoffed.

gojo was nonchalantly inspecting his nails, a hand under his chin. "better be soon, then."

"satoru." yaga warned.

"no wonder a brat like you used to be the teacher of those punks. disgusting." he glared at your little group. "this one doesn't have a proper technique," he pointed at hakari, "and this one, i can't even figure their gender." he scrunched his nose at kirara.

"it doesn't matter." you furrowed your eyebrows. "whoever they may be, they have a donkey dick next to you. if you have one to start with."

"you look like a cheap whore."

"you literally look like prince philip."

gojo snorted at your reply, and that was the last straw for yaga. "you know what, satoru? get out. you're not doing anything to help their case, so i don't understand why you're staying here."

"nu-uh! i wanna stay!" he shook his head childishly.

before being forced to leave, gojo caused yet another scene because he apparently didn't want to miss out on the so-called drama. it took yaga about 15 minutes to kick him out since he was gripping the doorframe, and the principal ended up tickling him so he would let go.

gojo could've stayed if he really wanted to, it wasn't like anyone could measure up to him. he had a class to teach anyways, so he passed by.

now that he was gone, he just sent a better person to help your case instead.

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

✞ 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐁𝐎𝐘✞

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

"y/n. kinji. kirara." yaga called out when he came back. he gestured to the man besides him, "this is higuruma hiromi. he'll defend your case."

everything the principal said after that was white noise to you. to say that you were awestruck by this man was an understatement. you couldn't take your eyes off him.

as for higuruma, he was a little unsettled about your obvious staring. he looked down at his shoes to avoid your gaze.

yaga dismissed you three, but you lingered behind. sensing someone approaching him, higuruma raised his head, only for your eyes to meet his.

"hi." you smiled shyly. you never felt this way. your palms felt a little sweaty and your voice cracked slightly. you blamed it on his intimidating appearance.

"hello."

"i'm y/n. just y/n."

"i know."

"i know that you know," you said, "but i wanted to introduce myself anyways."

"oh, i see. well, i'm higuruma."

you clenched the hem of your miniskirt, fluttering your eyelashes.

"y/n." you said again.

"you already introduced yourself." he was getting confused.

"i know. but my name sounds pretty when i say it myself."

"doesn't it sound pretty when other people say it?"

"it does, but not as much. it's prettier when i'm the one saying it."

he almost smiled. almost. he didn't know what you were talking about, but he did agree.

you had a pretty name. he bet it would sound pretty too if he was the one saying it, but it'll never be prettier than the way you say it.

you two were so lost in each other that you didn't see another figure listening closely to the conversation.

✞ 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐁𝐎𝐘✞ next!!

#♡playboy!#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #gojo satoru #hakari kinji #kirara hoshi #higuruma hiromi

52 notes · View notes

pykxz · 8 months ago

Text

hi.

you're on a rock floating in space.

pretty cool, huh?

some of it's water.

fuck it, actually most of it's water.

i can't even get from here to there without buying a boat.

it's sad.

i'm sad.

i miss you.

how did this happen?

a long time ago, actually never, and also now, nothing is nowhere.

when?

never.

makes sense, right?

like i said, it didn't happen.

nothing was never anywhere.

that's why it's been everywhere.

it's been so everywhere you don't need a where.

you don't even need a when.

that's how every it gets.

forget this.

i wanna be something.

go somewhere.

do something.

i want things to change.

i want to invent time and space.

and i know it's possible because everything is here and it probably already happened.

i just don't know when to start.

and that's exactly where it started.

whoah, i paused it.

i think there's a universe now.

what's it made of?

quarks & stuff

ah, that's a thing.

in a place.

don't like it?

try a new place.

at a different time™.

try to stick together, because the world is gonna get bigger.

and emptier.

but it's not empty yet.

it's still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees.

great news!

the quarks are now happily married, in groups of three called a proton or a neutron

and there's something else flying around too that wants to join in but can't cause it's still too

HOT great news!

the protons and neutrons are now happily married to each other.

and some of them even doubled up.

great news, the electrons have now joined in

congratulations, the world is now a bunch of gas in space.

but it's getting closer together.

and it's getting closer together.

and it's getting closer toge-

it's a star

new shit just got made!

some stars burn out and die.

bigger stars burn out and die with passion, and make some brand new, way crazier shit.

space dust

which allows newer, more interesting stars to be made, and then die, and explode into

even crazier space dust

so now stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things.

like this ball of flaming rocks for example.

holy shit, we just got hit with another ball of flaming rocks.

and it kind of made a mess.

which is

now the moon

weather update:

it's raining rocks from outer space.

weather update:

those rocks might have had water inside them, and now there's hot steam in the sky.

weather update:

cooler temperatures today, and the floor is no longer lava.

weather update:

it's raining.

severe flooding alert:

the entire world is now an ocean.

volcano alert:

that's land!

there's life in the ocean

what?

something's alive in the ocean

oh cool, like a plant or an animal?

no, a microscopic speck.

it lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup, which is being served hot and fresh, made from gnarly space ingredients left over from when it was raining rocks or whatever.

oh yeah, and it can do that.

it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself.

so that's pretty nifty, i would say.

tired of living at the bottom of the ocean?

now you can eat sunlight!

using a revolutionary technique, you can convert sunlight into food

taste the sun

side effect: now there's oxygen everywhere and the sky's blue.

then the earth might have been a snowball for a while, maybe even a couple of times.

it's a sponge.

it's a plant.

it's a worm, and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish.

it's the Cambrian explosion

"wow, that's animals and stuff"

but we're still in the ocean, hey, can we go on land?

why?

the sun is a deadly lazer

oh okay.

not anymore, there's a blanket

now the animals can go on land.

come on, animals, let's go on land!

nope, can't walk yet.

and there's no food yet, so i don't care.

ok, will you learn to walk if there's plants up here?

maybe, said some bugs, and fish.

ok, so i can go on land, but i have to go back in the water to

have babies

learn to use an egg.

i was already doing that.

use a stronger egg.

put water in it.

have a baby, on land, in an egg.

water is in the egg.

baby, in the egg, in the water, in the egg.

works for me.

bye bye ocean

and now everything's huge.

including bugs.

wanna see a map of the land?

sure.

oh fuck, now everything's dead.

just kidding, here are the survivors.

keep your eye on this one because it's about to become the dinosaurs.

here's another map of the land.

yeah, it broke apart, don't worry about it, it does that all the time.

here comes a meteor.

and the dinosaurs are gone

it's mammal time, here come the mammals.

look at those breasts.

now they're gonna dominate the world and one of them just learned how to grab stuff.

and walk.

no, like, walk like that.

and grab stuff at the same time.

and bang rocks together to make pointed rocks.

"ouch"

and set things on fire.

"yeouch"

and make crazy sounds with their voice.

"gneurshk"

which can mean different things.

that's a human person

and now they're everywhere.

almost.

ice age

what, you can walk over here?

cool.

not anymore

well i guess we're stuck here now.

let's review.

there's people on the planet.

and they're chasing their food.

fuck it, time to plant some grass.

look at this.

i control the food now.

now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me.

let's all build houses except mine is bigger because i own the food.

this is great, i wonder if anyone else is doing this.

tired of using rocks for everything?

use metal.

it's underground.

better farming was just invented, in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers.

and the animals are helping.

guess what happens next

more food.

and more people who came to buy the food.

now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales.

and now you need houses for people to live in and people to make the houses, and now there's more people and they invent things, which makes things better and more people come and there's more farming and more people to make more things for more people and now there's business, money, writing, laws, power.

Society

coming soon to a dank river valley near you.

meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed.

why is all my metal so lame and lumpy?

tired of using lame, sad metal?

introducing

Bronze

made with special ingredient tin from the far lands of tin land.

i don't know, my dealer won't tell me where he gets it.

also, guess what?

egypt

meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse.

now we're getting somewhere.

also

china

and did i mention

indus river valley civilization

norte chico

the middle east is getting more complicated, maybe because it's in the middle of the east.

knock knock, er, clop clop.

it's the people with the horses.

and they made an empire.

and then everyone else copied their horses.

greeks

ah look, it must be the greeks, er, a beta version of the greeks.

let's check in with the indus river valley civilization.

they're gone.

guess who's not gone?

china

new arrivals in india, maybe it's those horse people i was talking about, or their cousins or something

and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff

you could make a religion out of this.

there's the bronze age collapse.

now the phoenicians can get down to business

also, can we switch to a metal that's a little easier to find?

thanks.

look who came back to israel, it's the twelve tribes of israel.

and they believe in God

just 1 though, he's got like a ten step program.

here's some huge heads.

must be the olmecs.

the phoenicians make some colonies.

the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies.

the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies.

here comes the assyrian empire.

never mind, it's the babylonian- median-

it's the Persian Empire

"wow, that's big"

ah, the buddha was just enlightened.

who's the buddha?

this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we're all dying.

you could make a religion out of this.

oops, china just broke, but while it was breaking, confucius was figuring out how to have good morals.

ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff.

and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire.

it's a great idea.

he was great.

and now he's dead.

hopefully the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them.

knock knock, it's chandragupta, he says get the hell out of here.

will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants?

ok thanks, bye

time to conquer all of india

most of india

but what about this part?

that's the tamil kings, no one conquers the tamil kings.

who are the tamil kings?

merchants, probably

and they've got spices

who would like to buy the spices?

me, said the arabians, swiftly buying it and selling it to the rest of the world.

hey, china put itself back together again, with good morals as their main philosophy.

actually, they have three main philosophies.

out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city.

let's check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms.

greekification overload!

bye, said the parthians.

bye, said the jews.

hi, said the parthians, taking over the entire place.

heyyyyyyyy, said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast.

thanks for invading our homeland, said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland.

hi, everything's great, said some guy who seems to be getting very popular and is then arrested and killed for being too popular, which only makes him more popular.

you could make a religion out of this.

want silk?

now you can buy it from china.

they just made a

brand new road to the world

or you can

get there on water

sick! new trade routes! said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast.

hmm, that's a good place for an epic trading kingdom.

there goes buddhism traveling up the silk road.

i wonder if it'll reach china before it collapses again.

remember the persian empire?

yep, said the persians, making a new one.

axum is getting so powerful they would like to build a long stick.

has anyone populated madagascar yet?

let's do it together.

china is whole again

then it broke again

still can't cross the sahara desert?

try camels.

hell yeah! now we've got business

said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold, and slaves

hi, i live in the roman empire, and i was wondering

is loving jesus legal yet?

no.

actually, ok, sure, said constantine, moving the capital way over here to be closer to his

main rival

don't worry about rome, it won't fall.

it's the golden age of india

there's the gupta empire, not chandragupta, just gupta.

first name chandra.

the first.

guess who's in rome?

barbarians

what's a barbarian?

non-romans, said the romans, being invaded by non-romans.

r.i.p., roman empire, er, actually just half of it, the other half is just fine, but it's not in rome anymore so let's give it a new name.

the mayans have figured out the stars

oh and here's a huge city, population: everyone

the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe.

great job, göktürks.

how's india?

broken.

how's china?

back together

how's those trading kingdoms?

bigger, and there's more of them

korea has 3 kingdoms.

japan has a kingdom, it's the sunrise kingdom.

deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammed's ear.

so he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods and he tells them their gods are all fake.

and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town.

you could make a religion out of this.

and maybe conquer the world as well.

the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope.

plus there's

new kingdoms all over europe

i wonder if there's room for moors.

here's all the wisdom.

in a house.

it's the baghdad house of wisdom.

just in time for the

islamic golden age

let's bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast, said the swahili on the swahili coast.

remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there?

someone owns that now.

wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere?

the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas.

surprise! you're the new roman emperor, said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire.

then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not france.

but the northerners, or just norse if you don't have much time, are exploring.

they go north, from the north to the northern north.

and they find some land.

two types of land.

and they name them accordingly.

they also invade some other places, and get called many names, such as vikings.

there's the rus.

the kievan rus.

are they vikings?

i don't think so, said the kievan rus.

ok, fair enough.

the pope is ready to make some more emperors.

of the "roman empire".

the holy roman empire.

it's actually germany but don't worry about it.

new kingdoms.

christianize all the kingdoms

which brand would you like?

mine's better.

time to conquer england, said william.

it's a bird, it's a plane

it's the seljuk turks

aah! said the byzantine empire who's getting so small and almost doesn't exist anymore.

we need help!

they need help, so they call the pope.

hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks?

maybe take back the holy land on the way?

come on, i know you want to take back the holy land.

yes, i do actually want to do that.

let's do a crusade.

crusade

they did many crusades, some of which almost didn't fail.

but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals.

goodbye mayans.

hello toltecs

goodbye toltecs.

hello mississippi

look at those mounds.

there's the pueblo.

i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff.

guess who's here?

khmer.

where?

here.

and pagan is there.

vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government.

china just invented bombs, and typing.

and the mongols just invaded most of the universe.

nice going, Genghis!

i bet that will last a long time.

some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india.

is it tonga time?

i think it's tonga time.

i just found out where the swahili gets all their gold.

look at this chad.

means "lake".

there's an empire there.

right in the middle of

Africa

the king of mali is so rich he's going on tour to let everyone know.

wow, that guy's rich, everyone said.

the christians are doing a great job reconquering iberia, which will soon be called spain and not spain.

please remain christian.

we will check in later to see if you're still christian when you least expect.

whoops, half of europe just died.

ming

china's back, yay!

hey khmer, time to share.

new kingdoms here and there.

oh, look who controls all the islands.

it's the mahajapit.

majahapit.

mapajahit.

mahapajit.

mapajahit.

majapahit?

oh, italy's really rich, time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics.

it's kinda like a rebirth.

here's a printer.

let's make books.

so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire?

yep, said the ottoman turks.

nice job, ottoman turks.

whoops, you missed a spot.

don't forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade.

what? that's bullshit, said portugal, spiceless.

well i guess we'll have to find another way to india

wait! said christopher columbus, probably smoking crack.

if the world is round, let's go this way to india.

nah, don't worry, we already got this, said portugal.

so chris goes to spain.

hey spain, wanna hire me to find india by going around back of the world?

no.

please?

no.

please?

no.

please?

ok.

so he sails into the ocean.

and discovers more ocean.

and then discovers the indies.

and japan.

let's draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world.

the aztec and inca empires are off to a great start.

i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent?

the habsburgs are marrying into so many royal families they might have to start marrying each other.

move over lithuania, here comes moscow.

ivan wants to make russia great again.

move over timurids, maybe go invade india or something.

persia just made persia persian again.

let's make it the other kind of islam.

the one where we thought the first guy should have been the other guy.

hey christians!

do you sin?

now you can buy your way out of hell.

that's bullshit.

this whole thing is bullshit.

that's a scam.

fuck the church.

here's 95 reasons why, said martin luther, in his new book, which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation.

you know what would be magnificent, said suleiman, wearing an onion hat?

what if the ottoman empire was really big?

which it is now.

what if russia was big? said ivan, trying not to be terrible.

portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade.

and then that dream was real.

and spain realized that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway.

damn, said england and france.

we gotta start pillaging some stuff.

then the dutch revolt and all the hipsters move to amsterdam.

damn, said amsterdam.

we gotta start pillaging some stuff.

question 1: can you get to india through north america?

no, but at least there's beaver.

question 2: steal the spice trade.

that's not a question, but the dutch did it anyway.

sugar

guess where all the sugar's made?

in brazil.

stolen

and the caribbean.

and it's so god damn profitable you might forget to not do slavery.

the next thing on russia's to-do list is to get bigger.

britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world.

more specifically, ohio.

then it escalates into a seven year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who's boss.

but what about britain and france, did they figure out who's boss?

yes they did.

it's britain.

guess who's broke?

also britain.

so they start taxing the hell out of america.

fuck you, says america, declaring their independence, and fighting for it.

and france helps them win, now france is broke.

and britain'll have to send their prisoners to a different continent.

wait, if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses?

let's overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off! said robespierre, cutting everybody's head off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off.

you could make a reli- no, don't.

haiti is staring to like the idea of a revolution.

especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters.

why didn't we think of this before?

wait, who's in charge of france now?

said napoleon, trying to take over europe.

luckily, they banished him to an island.

but he came back

luckily, they banished him to another island.

there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin american wars of independence.

britain just figured out how to turn steam into power.

so now they can make

many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast

then they invent some trains.

and conquer india and maybe put some trains there.

hey, china! said britain.

buy stuff from us!

nah dude, we already got everything, says china.

so britain tried to get them addicted to opium.

which worked, actually.

but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea.

so britain threw a hissy fit, and made them open up five cities and give them an island.

britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop each other from conquering afghanistan.

also, the

sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now

"that's just where he lives"

india just had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now.

nope, said britain, governing them even harder than before.

technology is about to go crazy

the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad.

it's bad, they decided.

and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land and maybe kick out the mexicans too.

i know, let's rape africa, said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest.

they never got ethiopia

britain and france are still hungry.

they never got thailand

the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they're looking for more.

hawaii

cuba

wait, spain controls cuba.

well, blame something on them and go to war!

what should we blame on spain?

let's blame the maine on spain.

so they blame the maine on spain.

now we're in business.

to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans.

britain just found oil in the middle east.

it makes cars go

china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new, stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and controlled by a guy from the previous government.

europe hasn't had a war since the last war.

so they start world war 1.

look at those guns.

it's gonna be a great war.

so great we won't need a second one.

after it's over, they blame germany.

russia went on strike and the workers overthrew the government.

now everyone's paycheck is the same.

communism

in the soviet union

the arabs revolt and britain helps.

now the ottoman empire's gone so we can give the

jewish people a place to live

hopefully the arabs won't mind.

let's cut the cake, said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore empire.

except turkey, turkey makes a brand new turkey

and then the saudis conquer arabia.

it just seemed like the right thing to do.

hello?

yes, it's the 1920's calling.

let's get in the car and drive to a party and listen to jazz on the radio and go to the movies.

the economy's great and it'll probably be great forever, just kidding.

germany's back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model.

and he's mad at the jews for existing.

japan is finally conquering the east, and they're so excited they rape nanking way too hard.

they should probably just deny it.

hitler's out of control.

so the international community tackles him and then tries to explain why killing all the jews is a bad idea.

but he kills himself before they could explain it to him.

that's world war 2

bonus round!

pacific showdown.

united states vs. japan.

fight!

finish him

let's unite all the nations and have some

world peace

seems legit.

hi, i'm gandhi, and if britain doesn't get the hell out of india, i'm gonna starve myself in public.

wow, that worked?

bonus, now there's pakistan.

actually two pakistans.

one of them can be bangladesh later.

the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land.

me, they both said at the same time.

let's divide up the land so everyone's happy.

sike, they both get angrier

look out china, there's a new china in china.

what's on the menu?

communism!

no thanks, said the other china, escaping to an island.

i wonder which one is the real china?

there's the korean war, korea versus korea.

nobody wins, then it's on pause forever.

let's meet the sponsors.

oh, it's the two global superpowers.

they're having a friendly debate over which economic system is good, and which one is an evil virus of Satan.

and they both have atom bombs.

fight!

wait, no, that would be the end of the world.

let's just keep it cool and spy on each other instead.

and make sure we have enough atom bombs.

i'll race you to space.

now let's make some more countries fight themselves.

europe is tired of pillaging other continents, so the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged.

so here's a new map, with new countries.

now you can't tell who they're being pillaged by.

the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad.

they decided it's bad, and the world agrees.

south africa might need another minute to think about it.

let's check the world population.

whoa.

okay.

technology's better too, that might keep happening.

the soviet union decides to relax a little, and accidentally falls apart.

europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money, except britain, because they don't feel like it.

let's check the mail.

surprise, it's on the computer.

whoops, someone just attacked america.

i bet they'll remember that.

phone call.

surprise, it's in your pocket.

wanna learn everything?

surprise, it's on the computer.

now your phone's a computer, which is in your pocket.

whoops, the economy just crashed.

don't worry, the big banks won't fail because they're not supposed to.

surprise!

flying robots.

with bombs.

wanna print a brain?

some people have no friends.

some people have no food.

the globe is warming

and the ocean is full of plastic

let's save the planet! said everybody, not knowing how.

let's invent a thing inventor, said the thing inventor inventor, after being invented by a thing inventor.

that's pretty cool.

by the way, where the hell are we?

#Bill Wurtz #history of the entire world #i guess #thanks letterbox for this #and thanks random person who commented the entire script of history of the world i guess #honestly i just wanted to put it somewhere so i dont lose it

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thatonesalmonlingnamedspike · 1 month ago

Text

the history of the entire world I guess transcript I guess

hi.

you're on a rock floating in space.

pretty cool, huh?

some of it's water.

fuck it, actually most of it's water.

i can't even get from here to there without buying a boat.

it's sad.

i'm sad.

i miss you.

how did this happen?

a long time ago, actually never, and also now, nothing is nowhere.

when?

never.

makes sense, right?

like i said, it didn't happen.

nothing was never anywhere.

that's why it's been everywhere.

it's been so everywhere you don't need a where.

you don't even need a when.

that's how every it gets.

forget this.

i wanna be something.

go somewhere.

do something.

i want things to change.

i want to invent time and space.

and i know it's possible because everything is here and it probably already happened.

i just don't know when to start.

and that's exactly where it started.

whoah, i paused it.

i think there's a universe now.

what's it made of?

quarks & stuff

ah, that's a thing.

in a place.

don't like it?

try a new place.

at a different time™.

try to stick together, because the world is gonna get bigger.

and emptier.

but it's not empty yet.

it's still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees.

great news!

the quarks are now happily married, in groups of three called a proton or a neutron

and there's something else flying around too that wants to join in but can't cause it's still too

HOT great news!

the protons and neutrons are now happily married to each other.

and some of them even doubled up.

great news, the electrons have now joined in

congratulations, the world is now a bunch of gas in space.

but it's getting closer together.

and it's getting closer together.

and it's getting closer toge-

it's a star

new shit just got made!

some stars burn out and die.

bigger stars burn out and die with passion, and make some brand new, way crazier shit.

space dust

which allows newer, more interesting stars to be made, and then die, and explode into

even crazier space dust

so now stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things.

like this ball of flaming rocks for example.

holy shit, we just got hit with another ball of flaming rocks.

and it kind of made a mess.

which is

now the moon

weather update:

it's raining rocks from outer space.

weather update:

those rocks might have had water inside them, and now there's hot steam in the sky.

weather update:

cooler temperatures today, and the floor is no longer lava.

weather update:

it's raining.

severe flooding alert:

the entire world is now an ocean.

volcano alert:

that's land!

there's life in the ocean

what?

something's alive in the ocean

oh cool, like a plant or an animal?

no, a microscopic speck.

it lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup, which is being served hot and fresh, made from gnarly space ingredients left over from when it was raining rocks or whatever.

oh yeah, and it can do that.

it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself.

so that's pretty nifty, i would say.

tired of living at the bottom of the ocean?

now you can eat sunlight!

using a revolutionary technique, you can convert sunlight into food

taste the sun

side effect: now there's oxygen everywhere and the sky's blue.

then the earth might have been a snowball for a while, maybe even a couple of times.

it's a sponge.

it's a plant.

it's a worm, and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish.

it's the Cambrian explosion

"wow, that's animals and stuff"

but we're still in the ocean, hey, can we go on land?

why?

the sun is a deadly lazer

oh okay.

not anymore, there's a blanket

now the animals can go on land.

come on, animals, let's go on land!

nope, can't walk yet.

and there's no food yet, so i don't care.

ok, will you learn to walk if there's plants up here?

maybe, said some bugs, and fish.

ok, so i can go on land, but i have to go back in the water to

have babies

learn to use an egg.

i was already doing that.

use a stronger egg.

put water in it.

have a baby, on land, in an egg.

water is in the egg.

baby, in the egg, in the water, in the egg.

works for me.

bye bye ocean

and now everything's huge.

including bugs.

wanna see a map of the land?

sure.

oh fuck, now everything's dead.

just kidding, here are the survivors.

keep your eye on this one because it's about to become the dinosaurs.

here's another map of the land.

yeah, it broke apart, don't worry about it, it does that all the time.

here comes a meteor.

and the dinosaurs are gone

it's mammal time, here come the mammals.

look at those breasts.

now they're gonna dominate the world and one of them just learned how to grab stuff.

and walk.

no, like, walk like that.

and grab stuff at the same time.

and bang rocks together to make pointed rocks.

"ouch"

and set things on fire.

"yeouch"

and make crazy sounds with their voice.

"gneurshk"

which can mean different things.

that's a human person

and now they're everywhere.

almost.

ice age

what, you can walk over here?

cool.

not anymore

well i guess we're stuck here now.

let's review.

there's people on the planet.

and they're chasing their food.

fuck it, time to plant some grass.

look at this.

i control the food now.

now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me.

let's all build houses except mine is bigger because i own the food.

this is great, i wonder if anyone else is doing this.

tired of using rocks for everything?

use metal.

it's underground.

better farming was just invented, in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers.

and the animals are helping.

guess what happens next

more food.

and more people who came to buy the food.

now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales.

Society

coming soon to a dank river valley near you.

meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed.

why is all my metal so lame and lumpy?

tired of using lame, sad metal?

introducing

Bronze

made with special ingredient tin from the far lands of tin land.

i don't know, my dealer won't tell me where he gets it.

also, guess what?

egypt

meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse.

now we're getting somewhere.

also

china

and did i mention

indus river valley civilization

norte chico

the middle east is getting more complicated, maybe because it's in the middle of the east.

knock knock, er, clop clop.

it's the people with the horses.

and they made an empire.

and then everyone else copied their horses.

greeks

ah look, it must be the greeks, er, a beta version of the greeks.

let's check in with the indus river valley civilization.

they're gone.

guess who's not gone?

china

new arrivals in india, maybe it's those horse people i was talking about, or their cousins or something

and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff

you could make a religion out of this.

there's the bronze age collapse.

now the phoenicians can get down to business

also, can we switch to a metal that's a little easier to find?

thanks.

look who came back to israel, it's the twelve tribes of israel.

and they believe in God

just 1 though, he's got like a ten step program.

here's some huge heads.

must be the olmecs.

the phoenicians make some colonies.

the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies.

the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies.

here comes the assyrian empire.

never mind, it's the babylonian- median-

it's the Persian Empire

"wow, that's big"

ah, the buddha was just enlightened.

who's the buddha?

this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we're all dying.

you could make a religion out of this.

oops, china just broke, but while it was breaking, confucius was figuring out how to have good morals.

ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff.

and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire.

it's a great idea.

he was great.

and now he's dead.

hopefully the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them.

knock knock, it's chandragupta, he says get the hell out of here.

will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants?

ok thanks, bye

time to conquer all of india

most of india

but what about this part?

that's the tamil kings, no one conquers the tamil kings.

who are the tamil kings?

merchants, probably

and they've got spices

who would like to buy the spices?

me, said the arabians, swiftly buying it and selling it to the rest of the world.

hey, china put itself back together again, with good morals as their main philosophy.

actually, they have three main philosophies.

out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city.

let's check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms.

greekification overload!

bye, said the parthians.

bye, said the jews.

hi, said the parthians, taking over the entire place.

heyyyyyyyy, said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast.

thanks for invading our homeland, said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland.

hi, everything's great, said some guy who seems to be getting very popular and is then arrested and killed for being too popular, which only makes him more popular.

you could make a religion out of this.

want silk?

now you can buy it from china.

they just made a

brand new road to the world

or you can

get there on water

sick! new trade routes! said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast.

hmm, that's a good place for an epic trading kingdom.

there goes buddhism traveling up the silk road.

i wonder if it'll reach china before it collapses again.

remember the persian empire?

yep, said the persians, making a new one.

axum is getting so powerful they would like to build a long stick.

has anyone populated madagascar yet?

let's do it together.

china is whole again

then it broke again

still can't cross the sahara desert?

try camels.

hell yeah! now we've got business

said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold, and slaves

hi, i live in the roman empire, and i was wondering

is loving jesus legal yet?

no.

actually, ok, sure, said constantine, moving the capital way over here to be closer to his

main rival

don't worry about rome, it won't fall.

it's the golden age of india

there's the gupta empire, not chandragupta, just gupta.

first name chandra.

the first.

guess who's in rome?

barbarians

what's a barbarian?

non-romans, said the romans, being invaded by non-romans.

r.i.p., roman empire, er, actually just half of it, the other half is just fine, but it's not in rome anymore so let's give it a new name.

the mayans have figured out the stars

oh and here's a huge city, population: everyone

the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe.

great job, göktürks.

how's india?

broken.

how's china?

back together

how's those trading kingdoms?

bigger, and there's more of them

korea has 3 kingdoms.

japan has a kingdom, it's the sunrise kingdom.

deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammed's ear.

so he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods and he tells them their gods are all fake.

and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town.

you could make a religion out of this.

and maybe conquer the world as well.

the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope.

plus there's

new kingdoms all over europe

i wonder if there's room for moors.

here's all the wisdom.

in a house.

it's the baghdad house of wisdom.

just in time for the

islamic golden age

let's bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast, said the swahili on the swahili coast.

remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there?

someone owns that now.

wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere?

the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas.

surprise! you're the new roman emperor, said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire.

then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not france.

but the northerners, or just norse if you don't have much time, are exploring.

they go north, from the north to the northern north.

and they find some land.

two types of land.

and they name them accordingly.

they also invade some other places, and get called many names, such as vikings.

there's the rus.

the kievan rus.

are they vikings?

i don't think so, said the kievan rus.

ok, fair enough.

the pope is ready to make some more emperors.

of the "roman empire".

the holy roman empire.

it's actually germany but don't worry about it.

new kingdoms.

christianize all the kingdoms

which brand would you like?

mine's better.

time to conquer england, said william.

it's a bird, it's a plane

it's the seljuk turks

aah! said the byzantine empire who's getting so small and almost doesn't exist anymore.

we need help!

they need help, so they call the pope.

hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks?

maybe take back the holy land on the way?

come on, i know you want to take back the holy land.

yes, i do actually want to do that.

let's do a crusade.

crusade

they did many crusades, some of which almost didn't fail.

but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals.

goodbye mayans.

hello toltecs

goodbye toltecs.

hello mississippi

look at those mounds.

there's the pueblo.

i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff.

guess who's here?

khmer.

where?

here.

and pagan is there.

vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government.

china just invented bombs, and typing.

and the mongols just invaded most of the universe.

nice going, Genghis!

i bet that will last a long time.

some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india.

is it tonga time?

i think it's tonga time.

i just found out where the swahili gets all their gold.

look at this chad.

means "lake".

there's an empire there.

right in the middle of

Africa

the king of mali is so rich he's going on tour to let everyone know.

wow, that guy's rich, everyone said.

the christians are doing a great job reconquering iberia, which will soon be called spain and not spain.

please remain christian.

we will check in later to see if you're still christian when you least expect.

whoops, half of europe just died.

ming

china's back, yay!

hey khmer, time to share.

new kingdoms here and there.

oh, look who controls all the islands.

it's the mahajapit.

majahapit.

mapajahit.

mahapajit.

mapajahit.

majapahit?

oh, italy's really rich, time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics.

it's kinda like a rebirth.

here's a printer.

let's make books.

so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire?

yep, said the ottoman turks.

nice job, ottoman turks.

whoops, you missed a spot.

don't forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade.

what? that's bullshit, said portugal, spiceless.

well i guess we'll have to find another way to india

wait! said christopher columbus, probably smoking crack.

if the world is round, let's go this way to india.

nah, don't worry, we already got this, said portugal.

so chris goes to spain.

hey spain, wanna hire me to find india by going around back of the world?

no.

please?

no.

please?

no.

please?

ok.

so he sails into the ocean.

and discovers more ocean.

and then discovers the indies.

and japan.

let's draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world.

the aztec and inca empires are off to a great start.

i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent?

the habsburgs are marrying into so many royal families they might have to start marrying each other.

move over lithuania, here comes moscow.

ivan wants to make russia great again.

move over timurids, maybe go invade india or something.

persia just made persia persian again.

let's make it the other kind of islam.

the one where we thought the first guy should have been the other guy.

hey christians!

do you sin?

now you can buy your way out of hell.

that's bullshit.

this whole thing is bullshit.

that's a scam.

fuck the church.

here's 95 reasons why, said martin luther, in his new book, which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation.

you know what would be magnificent, said suleiman, wearing an onion hat?

what if the ottoman empire was really big?

which it is now.

what if russia was big? said ivan, trying not to be terrible.

portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade.

and then that dream was real.

and spain realized that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway.

damn, said england and france.

we gotta start pillaging some stuff.

then the dutch revolt and all the hipsters move to amsterdam.

damn, said amsterdam.

we gotta start pillaging some stuff.

question 1: can you get to india through north america?

no, but at least there's beaver.

question 2: steal the spice trade.

that's not a question, but the dutch did it anyway.

sugar

guess where all the sugar's made?

in brazil.

stolen

and the caribbean.

and it's so god damn profitable you might forget to not do slavery.

the next thing on russia's to-do list is to get bigger.

britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world.

more specifically, ohio.

then it escalates into a seven year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who's boss.

but what about britain and france, did they figure out who's boss?

yes they did.

it's britain.

guess who's broke?

also britain.

so they start taxing the hell out of america.

fuck you, says america, declaring their independence, and fighting for it.

and france helps them win, now france is broke.

and britain'll have to send their prisoners to a different continent.

wait, if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses?

let's overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off! said robespierre, cutting everybody's head off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off.

you could make a reli- no, don't.

haiti is staring to like the idea of a revolution.

especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters.

why didn't we think of this before?

wait, who's in charge of france now?

said napoleon, trying to take over europe.

luckily, they banished him to an island.

but he came back

luckily, they banished him to another island.

there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin american wars of independence.

britain just figured out how to turn steam into power.

so now they can make

many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast

then they invent some trains.

and conquer india and maybe put some trains there.

hey, china! said britain.

buy stuff from us!

nah dude, we already got everything, says china.

so britain tried to get them addicted to opium.

which worked, actually.

but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea.

so britain threw a hissy fit, and made them open up five cities and give them an island.

britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop each other from conquering afghanistan.

also, the

sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now

"that's just where he lives"

india just had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now.

nope, said britain, governing them even harder than before.

technology is about to go crazy

the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad.

it's bad, they decided.

and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land and maybe kick out the mexicans too.

i know, let's rape africa, said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest.

they never got ethiopia

britain and france are still hungry.

they never got thailand

the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they're looking for more.

hawaii

cuba

wait, spain controls cuba.

well, blame something on them and go to war!

what should we blame on spain?

let's blame the maine on spain.

so they blame the maine on spain.

now we're in business.

to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans.

britain just found oil in the middle east.

it makes cars go

china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new, stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and controlled by a guy from the previous government.

europe hasn't had a war since the last war.

so they start world war 1.

look at those guns.

it's gonna be a great war.

so great we won't need a second one.

after it's over, they blame germany.

russia went on strike and the workers overthrew the government.

now everyone's paycheck is the same.

communism

in the soviet union

the arabs revolt and britain helps.

now the ottoman empire's gone so we can give the

jewish people a place to live

hopefully the arabs won't mind.

let's cut the cake, said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore empire.

except turkey, turkey makes a brand new turkey

and then the saudis conquer arabia.

it just seemed like the right thing to do.

hello?

yes, it's the 1920's calling.

let's get in the car and drive to a party and listen to jazz on the radio and go to the movies.

the economy's great and it'll probably be great forever, just kidding.

germany's back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model.

and he's mad at the jews for existing.

japan is finally conquering the east, and they're so excited they rape nanking way too hard.

they should probably just deny it.

hitler's out of control.

so the international community tackles him and then tries to explain why killing all the jews is a bad idea.

but he kills himself before they could explain it to him.

that's world war 2

bonus round!

pacific showdown.

united states vs. japan.

fight!

finish him

let's unite all the nations and have some

world peace

seems legit.

hi, i'm gandhi, and if britain doesn't get the hell out of india, i'm gonna starve myself in public.

wow, that worked?

bonus, now there's pakistan.

actually two pakistans.

one of them can be bangladesh later.

the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land.

me, they both said at the same time.

let's divide up the land so everyone's happy.

sike, they both get angrier

look out china, there's a new china in china.

what's on the menu?

communism!

no thanks, said the other china, escaping to an island.

i wonder which one is the real china?

there's the korean war, korea versus korea.

nobody wins, then it's on pause forever.

let's meet the sponsors.

oh, it's the two global superpowers.

they're having a friendly debate over which economic system is good, and which one is an evil virus of Satan.

and they both have atom bombs.

fight!

wait, no, that would be the end of the world.

let's just keep it cool and spy on each other instead.

and make sure we have enough atom bombs.

i'll race you to space.

now let's make some more countries fight themselves.

europe is tired of pillaging other continents, so the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged.

so here's a new map, with new countries.

now you can't tell who they're being pillaged by.

the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad.

they decided it's bad, and the world agrees.

south africa might need another minute to think about it.

let's check the world population.

whoa.

okay.

technology's better too, that might keep happening.

the soviet union decides to relax a little, and accidentally falls apart.

europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money, except britain, because they don't feel like it.

let's check the mail.

surprise, it's on the computer.

whoops, someone just attacked america.

i bet they'll remember that.

phone call.

surprise, it's in your pocket.

wanna learn everything?

surprise, it's on the computer.

now your phone's a computer, which is in your pocket.

whoops, the economy just crashed.

don't worry, the big banks won't fail because they're not supposed to.

surprise!

flying robots.

with bombs.

wanna print a brain?

some people have no friends.

some people have no food.

the globe is warming

and the ocean is full of plastic

let's save the planet! said everybody, not knowing how.

let's invent a thing inventor, said the thing inventor inventor, after being invented by a thing inventor.

that's pretty cool.

by the way, where the hell are we?

#the history of the entire world I guess #transcript #copypasta

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talas-first-lady · 5 months ago

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Final Frame: the Musical

I am now Covid-free and mostly awake so let me put this thing together.

The episode opens as it's supposed to. The bowlers get abducted, Zari and Nate head off to go camping.

Gary sings a brief song about helping Ava try on wedding dresses that is clearly not part of the actual musical, it's just Gary being Gary. Ava tells him to shut up.

Behrad attempts to make brownies. They go wrong... or do they?

John is all hyped up on his magic juice and has planned a very sexy date for Z2. Behrad has to tell him that no Zs are available right now. B is lonely and John is unable to contain his need to show off his magic, so he's like "You're handsome enough, why not?" Duet/date montage. Nothing happens but it's very steamy and very suggestive.

(Next episode: The Bored On Board hot yoga scene now throws Behrad into full-on gay panic mode and Nate has to talk him down. Everything is 50% more awkward because Behrad refuses to make eye contact with John.)

Meanwhile, at the bowling alley, Spooner sings a heartfelt ballad about learning to love bowling. The second it ends, she accuses Astra of using magic to make her do that. Astra is offended by the suggestion that she would ever experience Spooner singing intentionally. Spooner brings up the princess song. They proceed to chase each other around the bowling alley while Sara and Mick sit there like “…Princess song?”

Meanwhile, at the campgrounds, things are okay but not great. Cut to the totem, where Zari 2.0 and some nosy ancestors are watching things play out. Neither Zari is very impressed by the camping idea.

Bowling has started. Spooner is bugging Mick about his lack of technique. He sings a short song about how everyone needs to just leave him alone already. This song is occasionally reprised throughout the rest of the episode.

On the Waverider, the awkward date has ended. Earth has disappeared. John magicks them across space to find the bowling alley. Gideon has a short song yelling at him for breaking her.

Sara and Spooner try to get Astra to bowl. She's not having it. She starts a punk number about how she didn't leave Hell for this nonsense. The cosmic bowling lights come on, and it becomes a full-on band number (Sara on guitar, Spooner on bass, Mick on drums).

Z2 and the judgy ancestors are now dissecting the terrible camping date in song form. Amaya drops by at one point to see what all the commotion is about and joins them.

Outside of the totem, Zari and Nate are singing a duet. They are periodically interrupted by loud music from the people camping next to them (rock n roll, obviously). The song becomes less and less a duet and more two people singing adjacent to each other until the part where Zari suggests they break up and then they talk things through.

Back at the bowling alley, Ava comes up to the door in her ridiculous wedding dress but isn't allowed in because the game is still going on. Sara comes over and they have a duet through the door. Sara goes on an extended tangent about how she's pretty sure there's something going on between Astra and Spooner.

Earth is saved, everyone joins together in the bowling alley, big happy song and dance number.

Behrad wakes up in the galley in the middle of a plate of brownies.

The end.

#lot s6 the musical #final frame #sorry this took so long guys

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repldemiurge · 5 months ago

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I went to a few concerts this summer season (though not nearly as many as my partner) and I never take pictures at them, but today since it was an outdoor lawn venue I found it easier and got a pic of each band

Unearth was fine. Generally the highest praise I can give a -core band unless they later go on to have a more interesting career (a la BTBAM or TDEP) I think them being slightly older than most bands in that scene helps a lot? It gave them more of just a melodic thrash vibe that they then still botched with knuckle-dragging breakdowns, in case you forgot they were a metalcore band and started to enjoy them. And yet, I might try a couple albums

Then Kerry King came on. Who the fuck cares.

(Forming your own shitass slayer wannabe band when slayer reformed without you after 5 years because you're too much of a fucking tool is. Sad.)

The only track the crowd got into was Raining Blood. Lol.

Mastodon did all of Leviathan, and like. It's Leviathan it's good what do you want. Honestly, the biggest downside to this was that they played Blood and Thunder to open the night, when by rights that is a made-to-be-an-encore song. Instead we got More Than I Could Chew and Steambreather. Idk I just. Still hate those last two albums. They teased that a new record will be out 2025 and my God I hope they decide to quit it with the fucking hard rock crap.

Then Brann came out after and told a very cute story about the first time he saw Leviathan on sale at best buy, good fodder for a 20th anniversary show like this.

OH they also played Circle of Cysquatch and had a tokusatsu. This thing was pretty cool.

‐-----------------

Then Lamb of God closed doing all of Ashes of the Wake. I had really only heard Redneck, Laid to Rest, and Grace by these guys, on account of the rock I live under. (And Grace only because of the girl who did a hurdy gurdy cover of it. And that's the track I like the most!)

I. Get why they occupy the position that they do. Solid blend of existing hardcore and metal styles while never adventuring into anything *too* experimental or niche. Really solid technique and fantastic stage presence from their front man. Kinda sad I didn't see them before Chris Adler left? I've had respect for him as a drummer for a long time. Overall, good album and solid live performance. I think I liked the first half a fair bit more than the back half, but the instrumental title track near the end was a standout. Did a little bit of moshing during Redneck because I wanted to have a *little* fun tonight, and I knew people would go apeshit for it. Uh, moshing on an angled lawn in the dark is a, *different* fuckin experience than on a venue floor lol. Only stayed for like half the song I guess.

Then I ate a hot dog and chili. Good night.

Anyways what's up with all these tours of bands playing entire albums now? I feel like this wasn't a thing 10 years ago. Maybe it's just that we're hitting a lot of anniversaries for 00s prog-metal boom albums and they want to show their Concept Vision in Full, but I feel like I'm seeing non-progressive bands (Lamb of God???) do it as well, so.

It's not even a bad trend per se, it's just one that feels kinda weird to me. I'm not the world's biggest showgoer though, maybe this has been a thing for a long time and I just never picked up on it.

I should listen to Slaughtersun by Dawn again (Good Black Metal bands do north American tours and stop in Detroit 2025 pleaseeeeeeee)

#never shuts up

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jrockmagazines · 3 months ago

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Shoxx Vol. 203 (01-2010)

Niya - Bonds of the truth

Even "that" is a loving relationship. As part of a special project to commemorate Nightmare's 10th anniversary, we are irregularly delivering an in-band interview. This time, guitarist Hitsugi and bassist Ni~ya will be appearing! Even within the band, they are the ones who go out drinking together most often, and are also close in private. We wonder what kind of conversations will come up this time...

Do you remember the first time you two met?

Ni~ya: The first time I met Kan, I was wearing full make-up. We were on our way home from a concert, and I still didn't know how to remove it, so I left my hair standing up and just went straight to Bin's house (laughs).

Hitsugi: That's right. We first met at my house.

Why did it end up like that again? (laughs)

NI~ya: It was through Sakito's introduction.

Hitsugi: Sakito and I were going to form a band together, so we were both looking for members. He said he knew someone and was going to go see their live show, and that's when he brought Ni~ya. At first glance, you couldn't tell what she looked like without makeup (laughs). But the music we'd listened to and the music we were listening to at the time were similar.

What artist did you have the most fun talking about?

NI~ya: It's X. I had a poster of X in my room.

Hitsugi: It's difficult to play in a band together unless the music you listen to is somehow linked. I can empathize with people who enjoy the easy life. And, were you able to sing the Petit Koikuni? I was so happy this morning. It was easy to talk to you. I was very easy to get along with. I had long, blonde hair, and I went to a school like I do now, so I couldn't dye it. I thought, "This guy is so free." (laughs) And the people I was dating at the time just dismissed me and were indifferent. But, I was also interested in him, and I thought it would be fun to form a band together. From the first time we met, I had no hesitation in thinking that I wanted to form a band together.

Ni~ya: That's right. And I could see the direction we were heading in.

Hitsugi: I thought we could do something interesting.

So then, when you actually went into the studio, that's why...

Hitsugi: Yes, I think at first I was just copying X, but at first I wasn't sure if what I was doing was right.

NI~ya: It's just so crazy (laughs).

Hitsugi: The performance is all over the place, we’re doing the A-melody now. I'm not sure if they're doing the B-melody or the main part (laughs). But it was fun.

Ni~ya: Yeah, it was really fun. At the time, there were only four of us excluding RUKA, but I guess it was fun just making music with the four of us.

Hitsugi: That's right. It was fun to talk to each other too.

Ni~ya: That was something that we hadn't done before.

From then on, as a band and as individuals, you both aimed to be original, and what did you think was amazing about each other?

NI~ya: But, even at the copying stage, I was amazed when I saw Sakuto and I playing the guitar solo of "Silent Jealousy" (X's signature song. It's a pretty fast number with a high level of difficulty on the guitar) with ease. Up until then, there wasn't anyone around me who could play the guitar that well.

Hitsugi: Same for me.

Ni~ya: So, at that time, weren't there a lot of Histandard songs? A three-piece melodic hardcore band. Released album "GROWING UP was a big hit and GREEN DAY - American three-piece pop-punk band. Hitsugi: The album "Dookie" released in 2007 has sold 20 million copies worldwide.

Ni~ya: It was the time of the Melodic Hardcore boom, so there weren't many people doing Visual Kei.

Technique-wise, visual kei songs are more difficult, aren't they?

NI~ya: Yeah, it's difficult. Kaku: Visual kei, hard rock, etc. There was no one around me who could do it. That's right. So I can play it properly. When I saw ya, I thought, wow!

From the beginning, you were both players.

NI~ya: That's right. Also, I could sense their policy in terms of their visuals. I was like, "I'm so lucky to be in a band with them!" (laughs).

Did you two talk a lot together?

Ni~ya: I often come to Gara's house. I went there. On the way home from school, I had a house nearby, so I got off the train (laughs).

Hitsugi: But it's all just trivial stuff, I think I was talking about.

Ni~ya: Also, movie videos. I was often forced to watch it.

Hitsugi: I've always loved movies.

Ni~ya: Once we turned 20, we were together. I've also started drinking alcohol more often.

Hitsugi: If we were to go drinking together, ~ya is probably the most common.

NI~ya: Me too.

After all, the two of them are on the same wavelength. However, if you've been together for 10 years, you don't fight. Have you ever done that?

Hitsugi: There are fights.

NI~ya: Yes, there is. But... It was a fight. Live shows and bands on tour. We were talking about that and we were both drunk.

Did you have any tailspins after that?

NI~ya: Not at all. We had a fight and then we went to a hotel.

Hitsugi: Sometimes we make up already (laughs).

Ni~ya: I got too worked up, sorry. No, I'm sorry too (laughs).

Hitsugi: It's fine (laughs). So, it's like we're getting closer.

The only way you can do that is because you have a relationship of trust.

Hitsugi: That's right. It's more than just friends. So it's in a different genre than friends, family, or colleagues. You really trust your fellow members. But, for the four of you other than RUKA, it was the first time you did a proper "Gookdetaku Itomea" thing, right? And you've been doing it for 10 years now, and I think it's lame. I'm surprised that our relationship has not developed much in those 10 years. It's something that usually comes out (laughs).

NI~ya, you've always kept a certain distance between you. I don't think it's about love.

But what do you think is the secret? Hitsugi: It's whether you can trust someone. Can you leave it to them, and can they leave it to you? To do that, you need to go out drinking, we talked a lot, including playing games like that. We have to get along well. Ni~ya: In Nightmare, the members have that kind of relationship. So maybe it's not like a work relationship. Hitsugi: That's right. This year, we celebrated Ni~ya's birthday at my house (laughs). Ni~ya: After the live in Niigata, I suddenly said, "I'm going today" (laughs).

Hitsugi: So I invited my friends, and Sakuto came too. We drank until the morning. Ni~ya: After the live ended, right? (laughs) But it was so much fun.

Hitsugi: It's fun to drink with the members. We've been together a long time and we still have things to talk about.

It's amazing that you can have fun with it. Hitsugi: Anything is fine. In the extreme, it's fine even if the topic is at a child's level. Ni~ya: Even so, I can spend 2 or 3 hours (laughs).

Hitsugi: From one word, it keeps branching out. It never ends (laughs). So, are there not many moments of silence between the two of you? Don't you have time?

NI~ya: No (straight answer on Saturday). We're usually laughing at something (laughs).

Hitsugi: Sometimes I'm so hungry I'm crying. The content is so pointless that I can't remember it later (laughs). But when we start drinking, we talk about bands.

NI~ya: From there, how did the work-related topic change? It's divided by "on" and "off". Maybe it's okay because I have time off.

What do you think is "great"?

Hitsugi: For the last four or five years, I've been recording. He can just let himself go and play, even during live performances. It may sound strange, but even if I make a mistake, I come back right away. And it gives me a very safe feeling.

NI~ya: Mistakes... I try to avoid them as much as possible during the actual performance. I try to do that, but in the studio. That's terrible (laughs). Everyone, look at me.

Hitsugi: That kind of warms the mood (laughs).

The fact that you don't become violent at times like that.

Hitsugi: We don't have anything like that. Even if it's difficult, everyone does their best during the actual performance. And by blaming others for their mistakes, I don't think it will do any good. Everyone has their faults, right? But even that is adorable.

NI~ya: He has the generosity of a Buddha (laughs).

Hitsugi: Honestly, I can accept that part of you. I'm dating someone with a feeling that I can do it. And when I did that, it came out. Something like that (laughs). NI~ya: In fact, I find it a little amusing (laughs). Basically, we are five people with that kind of temperament.

Hitsugi: Yeah, I think generally everyone is kind.

Ni~ya: That's why we can become good friends. And then when I actually stood on stage, but when I look at the four of them, I think they're cool.

Ugh. Once again, this group is awesome. It really makes you feel like, "Wow, that's weird."

Hitsugi: That's why I think it's a really good relationship.

What do you two hope for from each other in the future?

NI~ya: What do you mean?

Hitsugi: Well... I hope we can continue our relationship for a long time.

That's crazy (laughs).

NI~ya: Yeah, that's it (laughs).

Hitsugi: They'll break up eventually. Right? Even if that happens, our relationship will remain the same. I hope I can stay that way. If not, keep in touch for a while.

NI~ya: No. I don't think that's the case. It really is a lifetime thing.

Hitsugi: Yeah, totally.

Ni~ya: It's not hard to be with you. Right. I think that's the biggest thing. Drinking. The flow of time is always the same, but I never get bored of it (laughs).I play with other musicians, but I think the members are different.

Hitsugi: It gives me a sense of security.

Ni~ya: I'd rather be with the members. You can go drinking without bringing any cloth.

Hitsugi: Is that the sense of security you get? (laughs)

NI~ya: No, that's not all. But... that's how reassuring it is (laughs). Even with a messy head, the beard keeps growing. But it's okay.

Hitsugi: I can be flatter than flat. Right? Money can't buy these things, they're precious.

[The End]

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daenerys-targaryen · 2 years ago

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hi. you're on a rock floating in space. pretty cool, huh? some of it's water. fuck it, actually most of it's water. i can't even get from here to there without buying a boat. it's sad. i'm sad. i miss you. 😢 HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? a long time ago, actually never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. when? never. makes sense, right? like i said, it didn't happen. nothing was never anywhere. that's why it's been everywhere. it's been so everywhere you don't need a where. you don't even need a when. that's how every it gets…………………….……….… forget this. i wanna be something. go somewhere. do something. i want things to change. i want to invent time and space. and i know it's possible because everything is here and it probably already happened. i just don't know when to start. and that's exactly where it started. whoah, i paused it. i think there's a universe now. what's it made of? quarks & stuff!! ah, that's a thing. in a place. don't like it? try a new place. at a different time™ ⏰ try to stick together, because the world is gonna get bigger. and emptier. but it's not empty yet. it's still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees. great news! the quarks are now happily married, in groups of three called a proton or a neutron and there's something else flying around too that wants to join in but can't cause it's still too

🔥 HOT 🔥

great news! the protons and neutrons are now happily married to each other! and some of them even doubled up. great news, the electrons have now joined in congratulations, the world is now a bunch of gas in space. but it's getting closer together. and it's getting closer together. and it's getting closer toge- ⭐️ it's a star! ⭐️ new shit just got made! some stars burn out and die. bigger stars burn out and die with PASSION! and make some brand new, way crazier shit. space dust! which allows newer, more interesting stars to be made, and then die, and explode into ✨ even crazier space dust! ✨so now stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things. like this ball of flaming rocks for example. holy shit, we just got hit with another ball of flaming rocks. and it kind of made a mess. which is 🌙 now the moon! 🌙

🚨weather update: 🚨 it's raining rocks from outer space.

🚨weather update: 🚨 those rocks might have had water inside them, and now there's hot steam in the sky.

🚨weather update: 🚨 cooler temperatures today, and the floor is no longer lava.

🚨weather update: 🚨 it's raining. severe flooding alert: the entire world is now an ocean.

🌋 volcano alert: 🌋 that's land! there's life in the ocean. what? something's alive in the ocean. oh cool, like a plant or an animal? no, a microscopic speck. it lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup, which is being served hot and fresh, made from gnarly space ingredients left over from when it was raining rocks or whatever. oh yeah, and it can do that. 🧬 it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself 🧬 so that's pretty nifty, i would say. tired of living at the bottom of the ocean? now you can eat sunlight! using a revolutionary technique, you can convert sunlight into food! ☀️ taste the sun ☀️ side effect: now there's oxygen everywhere and the sky's blue. then the earth might have been a snowball for a while, maybe even a couple of times. it's a sponge. it's a plant. it's a worm, and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish. it's the Cambrian explosion. "wow, that's animals and stuff" but we're still in the ocean, hey, can we go on land? no. why? the sun is a deadly lazer. oh okay. 🫶🏻 not anymore there's a blanket 🫶🏻 now the animals can go on land. come on, animals, let's go on land! “nope, can't walk yet. and there's no food yet, so i don't care.” ok, will you learn to walk if there's plants up here? “maybe”, said some bugs, and fish. “ok, so i can go on land, but i have to go back in the water to have babies.” learn to use an egg. “i was already doing that.” use a stronger egg. put water in it. have a baby, on land, in an egg. 🥚 water is in the egg. baby, in the egg, in the water 🌊 , in the egg. “works for me! bye bye ocean.” and now everything's huge. including bugs 🐛 wanna see a map of the land? sure. oh fuck, now everything's dead. just kidding, here are the survivors. keep your eye on this one because it's about to become the dinosaurs 🦕 here's another map of the land. yeah, it broke apart, don't worry about it, it does that all the time. here comes a meteor ☄️

and the dinosaurs are gone

#leah rambles #history of the entire world i guess #I can call this entire 20 minute video by heart #long post

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sevicia · 9 months ago

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My ugly notes app monster that sucks so bad and I will probz delete when I wake up tomorrow

It's okay if you don't understand. I know you're not the brightest, I'll dumb it down for you. So-

She starts whining about not being dumb. I grab her hair and yank her head back, making her look straight into the water-damaged ceiling.

I don't appreciate being interrupted, especially when I'm trying to be nice.

I'm sure you've heard this before, but you've always been more beauty than brains. Sadly, you're not much of a looker.

I sigh and let go of her hair.

Her face is all scrunched up now; puffy, wet, disgusting. She buries it into her knees.

She tries to hide, to look brave, but I can tell she's trying not to cry from the way her shoulders shake – as erratic as her breathing; she won't be able to calm down no matter how hard she tries. I know this because I know her. I know she'll keep trying, dumb as rocks; unable to see past her own nose.

The knots aren't that tight– I left them a bit loose on purpose, hoping she'd try to escape so I'd have an excuse to chase her, push her down, really scare her, but it turns out I overestimated both her intelligence and her will to live.

She was so pretty, so lovely just a few hours ago, when I was still having second thoughts about all this, when my hands were shaking so badly I could barely hold my glass, when she was still smiling and looking at me fondly – like I was something worth looking at. No one had ever looked at me with such affection – any affection! – before, and that's how I knew she was kind! Kind, and pretty, and lovely, and so, so devastatingly stupid; so perfect and so easy for me to take, to ruin and rebuild into something even prettier – something better.

I sit down in front on her. She looks pale; sickly. Is her skin cold and clammy, or is she running hot and sweaty from the adrenaline? I can see for myself now, I no longer need to wait or ask. I reach for her ankle, slowly, trying not to scare her.

Clearly, it doesn't work; she tries to kick me off with far too much force, flailing and losing her balance, making herself fall over and hit her head – thud! – on the concrete floor.

I lean over, placing my hands on the ground so I can look at her face – the parts not covered by her hair, anyway. She spares me a single glance, then shuts her eyes tight and starts shaking all over again.

I raise my voice, louder than she's ever heard it before:

You lied to me! You told me I looked just fine, all those times – all those times, you lied to me!

She flinches and tries to deny it, but her voice comes out weak, and her eyes are still shut tight.

I didn't think it'd actually work.

Don't you lie to me again, don't you dare lie!

I lower my voice back to its regular volume. I make sure to sound incredulous, offended:

You can't even look at me.

She takes a big breath, but doesn't say anything. I can tell she's trying to calm down using breathing techniques.

I stay quiet for a bit, still looking down at her, and wait until her breathing's calmed down enough that she's not on the border of hyperventilation anymore before speaking again, now in the low, pitiful whisper she's always known:

Am I really so unseemly? Tell me. Please look at me. Please tell me I'm not.

(END OF CHUNK. WHO CARES)

And now all I've got is a crumpled mess of a girl, clothes and hair almost as dirty as the floor she lays on– I haven't cleaned the place in weeks. I know how important hygiene is to her, after all.

(END OF CHUNK. WHO CARES)

Stop fucking crying, you're ruining your make-up. I'm not into the whole "broken" look with the running mascara anymore. We've done it so much I thought you'd also be tired of at this point.

Seriously?

Your throat's dry because you refuse to ask for help. I'm the only one that can help you, you know? I have no way of knowing what you need unless you tell me. You need to ask for it.

-----

Why should I bring it to you? Where's your manners?

Please, -----

Okay, that's better.

I'm not getting you anything, though. Why? Are you stupid? You keep crying and crying and whining until your throat hurts – and you think you deserve water? How do I know you won't just waste it again?

I'm leaving, I'm too tired to deal with such an entitled little brat right now.

Maybe you should learn how to play nice and be grateful– yes, GRATEFUL, and quit interrupting me before I beat the shit out of you again. I work all day, you know that? I work day in and day out so I can make you prettier – we both know you need it.

Beauty's expensive, are you kidding? Then again, I keep overestimating your cognitive abilities, so I shouldn't be so surprised.

I work all day, every day, and then I come down here to be happy, to relax by looking at something nice – and I find you a disgusting mess, make-up ruined, snot all over your face, and still I try to be nice to you. I might even be going a bit soft. I can tell you've been pulling your hair out again, but I still bring you the foods you like.

Spoiled? I don't see how that makes any difference.

I toss away anything that's gone bad – and yet I keep the ugliest, nastiest and most rotten piece of meat around, even though it fucking reeks.

I'm being nice. I'll only say this once.

I suggest you stop telling me what to do with my trash.

(END OF CHUNK. WHO CARES)

You'd be prettier if you knew how to behave.

#diary #unsan #yes it sucks but my 4 AM brain is telling me to share whatever I've written last for once #and by ''last'' I mean like. tonight. heart #oc talk #much to think about #<- decided to keep this ugly thang as-is. not even fixing any typos I hope it dies #wroted

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buttercup-art · 7 months ago

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From the OC questions!

[21] When they’re sick, would they want others to visit them, or they would rather prefer not to be seen at not their best?

[37] How would they spend a lazy day when they have nothing specific to do?

[55] How long does it take for them to make a new place feel like home, and what do they need for it?

Thank you so much for asking these! I had a lot of fun with them!

[21] When they’re sick, would they want others to visit them, or they would rather prefer not to be seen at not their best?

Noa prefers to be left alone whenever she's sick. She's usually seen at her best; strong, confident, perfect. And here she is, weak and pathetic! (at least in her eyes). Her hair is messy, she didn't bother to get dressed out of her pajamas because she was way too tired, and she's leaking snot everywhere. Why the hell would she want people to see her like that?

However, if someone does decide to visit Noa, despite her strictly telling them not to (looking at you, Hugo-), not only is she going to be angry, she's going to feel incredibly embarrassed. She might even try to hide herself from them the best she can (like hiding under a blanket while saying "Don't look at me, I'm disgusting!" She looks fine, of course. She's just being dramatic because she feels gross lol).

But if they refuse to leave, she'll (begrudgingly) let them keep her company (especially if she secretly enjoys it, hint hint). Not so much let them take care of her, though. She can do that herself.

[37] How would they spend a lazy day when they have nothing specific to do?

If she has a day when she has nothing specific to do (and she rarely does. She's a pretty busy woman), she usually spends it painting!

While she is a rather logical and analytical person, she does enjoy the finer things in life, art being among them. Though, her art focuses a lot more on technique and realism, rather than self expression. (Think Roman art. A study of anatomy and the human form).

It's also one of the only times where she's seen 'dressed down' (but not really? She still makes an effort to look sleek and stylish, just in a much more casual sense). A black turtleneck sweater, covered in paint splotches here and there, plaid pants, and black flats. No one can see her since she's doing this in her own penthouse, but she feels better knowing she looks presentable.

If she's not in the mood for painting, another option for a lazy day is to spend it reading. Specifically mystery and suspense novels. She really enjoys trying to figure out the big twists and endings, even jotting down notes in a journal while she reads. Most of the time she's able to figure it out way before the author can reveal it. But sometimes her normal thinking process can lead her to be wrong about a book's ending, simply because she ends up thinking way too much about certain details (when the author clearly wasn't thinking enough about it. And they're the one who wrote the damn thing!)

And when that happens, she gets so disappointed and annoyed that she starts insulting the writer and/or the characters. You might hear her say something like "T'es bête comme tes pieds !" (you're as dumb as a rock!), or "Quelle nouille !" (what an idiot!). She's still going to keep reading it the whole way through, but all she's going to be thinking about is how she could have written it better.

[55] How long does it take for them to make a new place feel like home, and what do they need for it?

Quite a long time. She likes things in a specific way, and does not handle things changing all that well. Although she can adapt well to fast-paced situations, it's different when it comes to her living space or a place where she's suppose to feel comfortable.

For example, if Noa were to spend the night in Hugo's apartment, she would be very awkward and tense about it (even if he tells her "make yourself at home". She's not used to sleeping there, so it's going to be hard for her to relax). I'm talking making sure she doesn't dirty any of the carpets or the furniture, making sure things are put back in the exact same places they were in if she ever needs to move something (almost to make it look as if she was never there in the first place), sitting upright with perfect posture, etc.

The same applies if she ever needs to move to a new place. Just overall being tense about it and acting as if she doesn't live there.

To make herself feel at home, however, she needs her own space, or things that feel like her.

Like a cozy spot where she can read that's not her bed. Even if it's just a corner of the living room. As long as it has comfortable blankets and a reading light, she's happy. Her own mugs/teacups (even for Hugo's place. She might use his once or twice, but not all the time).

A whole cabinet in her kitchen reserved (and filled) with all kinds of tea, especially her favorite ones.

Some splashes of color throughout the space, particularly purple. Maybe some flowers or artwork decorating the walls. She's a very stylish person, and where she lives reflects that. It can't be too dull or boring.

Things like that.

She'll get used to it after a while. It just takes some time for her to adjust.

#thank you again!#and keep em coming if you want!#if you want to know something about Noa i'll be more than happy to answer #it's helping me develop her character a bit more lol #s/i: noa simmons #tftbl #borderlands oc #oc questions #hyperionhugo #long post

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the-firebird69 · 9 months ago

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Godsmack - Speak (Official Music Video)

youtube

So he's got a new line that's kind of going to be the hulk and can turn into the hulk but he's already big so he says you want to see me turn into the hulk so he looks away for a second and he looks back at you and it says there it is. But seriously if he's a radiated and he's on pain formula it'll take seconds for him to grow to really big and he says it's true that's the kind of workout somehow and he said if you go from 18 to like 30 and from like 6 ft to about 9 ft and about 20 seconds that's how long it takes but it's already got 18 in arms but still that's pretty fast and that's what the Hulk. Does would like to see that happen even a little and we are an interested in it

The Rock

So you're the hulk you sure you're not making it up for an excuse all those things are broken and really you broke a lot of stuff says an accident and I know it it was. So we got to see that still and yeah I guess they took off and they're having a safe stuff to keep it safe I was not really enthralled with the idea but I see this necessary and it was really awful what happened to me and they're wrong and it did the jC and Mary and we see why. Maybe them who wrote the series and blamed on the people for Warhammer 40,000 and such makes sense they do stuff like that not very nice but they sure are good at stuff and it's really for a loop and they said I wasn't involved enough and I get mad I tried to get involved and it wouldn't let me it was before the ski accident and Ernie was involved tonight I couldn't believe they wouldn't let me do it and he says sometimes I say that to see if u'll do it

I know that technique and method and I tried it and it didn't work so I got really mad. They said they didn't care that I'm going to win and carry me around like a sack of potatoes and that was my son I said he's a baby and he's learning and then she said you turn them in the wrong side I said you did that and yet Arnie is in now I see why they used them and it's going like that so I'm asking who the hell is left the father had guys are out and supposedly us running the show and he says the head guys disappear like George and Ernie and that makes sense the last out because they have too much attention and they have to have the systems up and I get there I don't have too much time here well they know about the affliction and it's risky for them to allow it to fester and it's dangerous it's not fair but they might not have a way out of it for you and I get that so we feel bad about this and awful and really it's it's a real hell and your situation is not helping cuz I'm really sorry about that he says yeah you know what I mean I can't do much and you realize that nobody can do much and my people are trying like crazy and really he says the proof is the post office and that they won't let anything go through and I realize that there's trillions and trillions. And he says that and I say there's many trillions and I tried to get mine in and you would not send it and they said not enough postage so I sent it return receipt from the auntie and no and I'm going to try to send it from them then news about Mom from the Gentry's and it makes sense that's what a gentile does he says and I know that's true I know what to say and I know what I have to try and do and you were right nothing's going to happen at all for me it's just going to sit there you go there I might get out and there's another thing I never thought Lily wait a minute hold on Sarah Sarah is not into someone's going to do it to her and I can't believe that and I think it's because wait a minute I think I haven't figured out Sarah knows to hell so it takes your brain out they all fight each other over the throne and then Fergie gets in and Fergie is actually Sherry but Sherry is actually Queen Elizabeth II so Queen Elizabeth II comes back what is really Sarah who does it on purpose and it is to take it back ask you to but really has to take it back as Queen Elizabeth II know if it would be free and my son says it sounds like Ferdinand and it does and that is a famous event of world war One as they someone says world war II and it probably just want to and it's something to do with death in America it's Fernandez Isabella and what what am I about some guy killed it they both got killed them assassination and they played Germany as it was the crown and Ferdinand as Isabella of Spain so they probably go after her and it might be Daniel although he works with her as the Black widow and that might be why he's the enemy and that makes sense be good to look up the story

Camilla

It's close and it's getting to it

Thor Freya

Olympus

#Youtube

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thorntonkrell-blog-blog · 1 year ago

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He did a lot but he could've done a lot more if he hadn't fallen off the wagon and hung himself in a jail cell.

I guess that's why they call it the blues. How authentic can ya get?

The spirit of the crossroads had been trailing Roy Buchanan, haunting and pushing him for decades, urging him to drink it all in push it back out.

The spirit caught up with him without his guitar in that sad cell. Roy was unarmed.

I saw Roy live three and a half times. I never saw the spirit but I heard it and it taught me about the blues from a safer distance filtered through The Master of the Telecaster.

Let me tell you about the first meeting.

The first awakening took place on the evening of the afternoon when Wild Bill and I drove by the Dakota and waved at Strawberry Fields or maybe it was years before that but it was close either way. Everybody was still slowing down and pointing.

We were headed towards another part of Central Park and a concert featuring two bands NRBQ and the Roy Buchanan band. I had never heard of Roy at that time. Bill was turning me on to Roy. He was confident that I would "get it". You need that confidence when you're trying to turn somebody on.

Going to a concert in Central Park is one of life's great experiences. You're walking through a park. You're listening to important music (ya don't get invited to play at Central Park if you haven't paid your dues).

The crowd is hip.

The park is lush and living.

You feel like you're deep in a country paradise.

Then every so often, you look up.

In the gathering moonlight you are surprised to see the skyscrapers of Gotham surrounding you.

You're in a park smack dab in the middle of the greatest metropolis. The park is the city and the city is the park. Start spreding the news.....

NRBQ opened for Roy. NRBQ stands for New Rhythm and Blues Quintet. They originally hailed from Louisville, Kentucky

I had heard of them.

They set the tone. They fit right into the surrounding urban rural metropolitan environment. They were comfortable. They might as well have been wearing pajamas. They played their usual spontaneous combination of rock, pop, jazz, blues, cover material, audience requests and Tin Pan Alley. Later they would actually perform in pajamas. They would hire Captain Louis Albano as their manager. They even became the unofficial house band for the Simpsons in seasons 10-12. They shook hands with my mind. They didn't bother to blow it away. They opened it up and cleared away some of the debris

The mind blowing itself would come later in natural progression as the evening grew darker and Buchanan took the stage.

Roy Buchanan's choice of guitar, the Fender Telecaster, was a pivotal aspect of his distinctive blues style. The Telecaster's crisp, cutting tone and clarity were crucial in shaping Buchanan's sound. His innovative use of the instrument made him a true virtuoso. Buchanan was known for his fingerstyle technique, which allowed him to produce incredible dynamics and tonal variety from his Telecaster.

Roy Buchanan's approach to playing the blues was unconventional and inventive. He was not confined to traditional blues scales and patterns, and he was known to blend various genres into his blues, including rock, country, and jazz. His unique interpretation of blues incorporated fast, fluid runs, double stops, and wide interval bends. His guitar solos were not just technical marvels but were filled with deep emotional expression, a hallmark of the blues. Buchanan's ability to evoke a wide range of emotions through his guitar playing made him a master storyteller in the world of blues.

I didn't know the technical stuff until much later when discussing blues guitar with Genesee Johnny, Bill Downey and Chris Van Vessen. I didn't know exactly what Roy was doing but whatever it was, it got a hold of my soul.

I don't remember the exact segue from NRBQ to Roy but I'm pretty sure he opened with Haunted House and then maybe a couple of warm up rock a billy tunes before he began settling into the blues. Hey Joe started that transition which slid smoothly into I Am a Lonesome Fugitive.

During fugitive, I became aware that something big was going on here in my mind and heart. I was surprised by the vibe yet comfortable with it. I was more of a rhythm guy than a blues guy although I had certainly paid the dues for membership.

It was at this point that Roy mumbled the prologue/prayer that begins The Messiah Will Surely Come Again. As Roy made his way up and down the frets I began to contain the moaning, the arguing, the drinking, the jail cells, the whispering, the weeping, the howling, the praying, the conversing, the grief, the hope, the feedback, the virtuosity, the mystery, the triumph, the tragedy, the humor, the heartbreak, the bail money and the bliss that Roy was pouring out of his Telecaster with the help of his backup band.

I was "getting" the blues and once I "got" them, I was gonna keep them "got".

Wild Bill caught me getting the get and I knew that he had gotten it before we went to the show and the combination of gets and gots were the reason why he had got tickets for the show in the first place.

My eyes were closed and my soul was open.

I was awake.

I opened my eyes

I looked right into the city beyond the trees and could feel all the elements of the blues that Roy was telecasting. They were alive and pulsing within the Apple and that pulse was coming back to Roy and he was sending it back again.

The crowd, the city, the park, the moonlight, the darkness, we were as one fifty years ago.

I was 26

I carry that unity

with me today

somewhere

forever

even now.

Listen to

The Messiah Will Surely Come Again.

Imagine moonlight

Imagine Central Park

Maybe you'll get another dose of what I got.

I'm confident you will.

Roy Buchanan, often referred to as the "Master of the Telecaster," was a unique and influential figure in the world of blues guitar. His unorthodox approach to the instrument and distinctive blues stylings set him apart from his contemporaries and established him as a legend in the realm of electric blues guitar. This essay aims to analyze Roy Buchanan's contributions to the blues genre, exploring his distinctive style, technical prowess, and enduring influence.

I. Roy Buchanan's Early Life and Musical Background

Roy Buchanan was born on September 23, 1939, in Pixley, California, and raised in rural Arkansas. He was initially exposed to the blues through his family, as his mother played lap steel guitar and his father played the harmonica. Buchanan's early exposure to blues music laid the foundation for his deep connection with the genre. Later in life, Buchanan moved to the Washington, D.C. area and began performing in local bands, which helped shape his musical identity.

II. The Telecaster Master:

III. Blues Styling and Techniques:

IV. Influential Recordings:

Buchanan's impact on blues guitar can be traced through his extensive discography. His 1972 album "Roy Buchanan" showcased his virtuosity and musical depth, featuring tracks like "The Messiah Will Come Again." This song, in particular, remains an iconic blues instrumental, demonstrating his innovative approach to phrasing and tone. Other notable recordings include "Live Stock" (1975) and "Loading Zone" (1977), which further solidified his status as a blues guitar icon.

V. Legacy and Influence:

Roy Buchanan's contributions to the blues guitar have left an indelible mark on the genre. His unique style has inspired countless guitarists who continue to explore and expand upon the boundaries of blues music. Notable guitarists like Jeff Beck, Danny Gatton, and Gary Moore have acknowledged his influence on their own playing. Buchanan's legacy is also preserved through the annual "Buchanan's Birthday Bash" guitar festival in his honor.

Conclusion:

Roy Buchanan's place in blues guitar is undeniable. His unconventional approach to the Telecaster, innovative blues stylings, and emotional depth in his playing have established him as one of the genre's most celebrated and enduring figures. His impact on the blues, rock, and guitar communities is immeasurable, and his influence continues to resonate with guitarists and music enthusiasts around the world. Buchanan's legacy as the "Master of the Telecaster" and a blues guitar virtuoso is a testament to the power of music to transcend boundaries and touch the human soul.

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dzpenumbra · 2 years ago

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4/27/23

Okay so... I got to bed at around 2:30. And I struggled to get to sleep pretty bad. Like, tossing and turning and not able to actually fall asleep. I got there eventually, but was woken up by the sound of some really loud appliance, I still have no idea what it was or where it was coming from. This sound was at 5:50 AM. And I was supposed to be up for my apartment inspection at 9. I had an alarm set and everything.

I laid there for - no exaggeration - 2.5 hours trying to fall asleep again. No phone, no apps, just laying in bed with my eyes closed, trying to fall asleep. Doing breathing exercises, doing body relaxation techniques, visualization techniques, you name it. Everything I've learned over like 15 years of studying sleep hygiene techniques. And I just gave up and got up at like 8:30.

The guy showed up for the inspection at like 9:30, it was super quick, just an electrical inspection or something. He even gave me compliments about how clean my place was, which blew my mind. I started on a new abstract drawing, I'm gonna work on it more and I'll post it when it's done.

I went to take a nap around... fuck man, I don't even know. The whole day has been a huge blur, unfortunately. Temporally, at least. I put in the earbuds and put on some binaural beat thing for a 90 minute nap and... same problem. I "forgot" how to fall asleep. I've gotten this before, and it's like... it's a fucking torturous feeling. Being absolutely utterly exhausted... and not being able to fall asleep. And not knowing why, not knowing what you're doing wrong.

I napped successfully, though, and had some of the most intense dreams I've had in a long fuckin time. It was surreally like... norse-age, with these weird mutated people that were cutting off a water supply or something? I have no clue and that probably sounds ridiculous, but this dream was legit one of the most vivid I've had in ages. The colors, the sounds, the imagery; so memorable. I might try fucking with that binaural stuff to see if I can amplify how vivid my dreams get. You know... intentionally... like when I want it to happen.

I woke up at like... 2, I think? My car reservation was at 1, but was until 5. I made sure to book a big window just in case something like this happened, I just didn't expect it to be... like 4 hours of sleep total.

And I looked up like... more sleep techniques and the shit I was doing was literally what they train for people in the military who need to sleep while sitting up and shit. And it didn't fucking work. And it said on there, this might not work with people who have ADHD and/or anxiety issues. Welp, there ya go...

I showered and said fuck it and went. The walk to the car alone had my shins fuckin throbbing. I speed-walk a bit too much when I walk around the city, I'm just... 1). not used to urban environments and they still make me feel unsafe, and 2). not used to walking in shoes, tbh.

But that was remedied (and reminded, which is why I even noticed the speed-walking) by finally getting back into nature.

A quick stop at Walgreens first, to get the steroid cream the doctor prescribed me... a month ago... And they had to redo it, because of how long it took me to get there. XD So I sat there nodding off for like... 20 minutes...

But then I went to the park. And I got to hike barefoot again, and it was such an at-home feeling. I was out there until like 6. I think it was a total of about 3 miles of walking? I explored a bunch, they had some cool constructions like staircases and bridges and shit, very well-made stuff. There was even a beach right on the lake, it was very pretty and peaceful. I found some rocks that I brought home, I'm going to try to clean them up and see how they come out. There was a decent amount of sandstone there, which is actually pretty cool because it's super soft, so it's easy to carve. I'm going to see what working with it is like and then go from there, if I feel like trying to source more. It's cool how different the types of stone are around here.

For real, just being out in the woods alone, no music, no distractions, just me and nature, bare feet on the ground, wind on the skin, it was great. I missed it a lot. It's like... the polar opposite of how I feel when I'm in the city... XD

Driving wasn't as nerve-wracking as I thought. It was fine. Got the car back half an hour early, ordered a pizza. The car did cost a total of $50 for it being mine from 1-7... (I added 2 hours and I'm glad I did) which is like... ugh... But when you consider I never actually drive anywhere and compare that to buying a car, or paying lease payments? It ain't bad, especially when I don't even pay for gas.

So yeah, those earplugs I ordered were delivered this afternoon. Talk about fucking timing... -_- I'm gonna try them tonight. Like I said a few nights ago, I don't have to listen out for pets anymore, so... fuck it. Hope they work for me, I think if I can sleep with AirPods in, I should be able to sleep with earplugs in okay.

Definitely bed time. I can barely keep my eyes open.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

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ylojgtr · 7 months ago

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ooh this is perfect! i can tell you all about revolutionary harmonica players!! i will give neil a little credit since he introduced me and im sure many other harmonicists to the instrument, but i assure you there are SO many better players out there

definitely gotta check out deford bailey (pronounced dee-ford). he was a master at and greatly popularized the train imitation and fox chase styles (<this video has flickering for some reason just fyi) and is largely responsible for country harmonica, being a founding member of the grand ol opry

little walter is obviously a must. his approach to the instrument, melodic, dirty and presice, set the standard for chicago blues playing. while he probably wasn't the first to do it, he certainly popularized the use of a microphone while playing which helped the harmonica stay relevant in the age of electric instruments and added a unique distorted tone

sonny terry is also blues, but a very different style. he used a lot of chordal rhythms for accompaniment and really was the first person to play anything like what he did, it's kinda hard to explain

all three of those guys influenced charlie mccoy, one of the most recorded session musicians in history and sort of the pioneer of country and bluegrass harmonica.

there's a direct lineage from mccoy to one of my personal favourite players, jason ricci (solo @1:48), whose mentor pat ramsey (solo @1:50) applied super-fast bluegrass style licks to blues. jason took it a step further, delving into punk, hard rock and funk with an extremely idiosyncratic style. (i had a hard time choosing which song to link but i think this one is a succinct, flashy example of an iconic era of his career. more are in the playlist!)

jason's style also makes heavy use of a technique called overbending, which is probably the most common way to play chromatic notes on a diatonic harmonica. typically, a harmonica is tuned to have only the notes of one major scale, which is why most players have different harmonicas in different keys. but it is possible to play some notes between the scale degrees by bending, which was pioneered by black american musicians before being widely recording, but there are still some notes that can't be played bent

that's where howard levy (solo @1:50 but you should watch the whole thing 😳) comes in (probably my favourite harmonica player ever). he was a jazz piano player before picking up harmonica and decided to start practicing scales on harp the same way he did piano. of course, not all the notes were there, but somehow in trying to bend a note that didn't bend he got a different sound. he ended up becoming the first person to really master this technique, finally bringing the diatonic harmonica into jazz and other more complex music.

last major suggestion, brendan power. his early influences include sonny terry and charlie mccoy but his style has become defined by his harmonica inventions. after learning that charlie mccoy tuned his harmonicas differently (there's a really cool story about how he started doing that) brendan set out to create the ultimate diatonic tuning, since standard tuning wasn't intended to be used in any of the stuff it's used in now, it just happens to work pretty well. but what if it worked PERFECTLY for whatever style you were playing? his most famous tunings include paddy richter (for irish music) powerdraw (for more ease of playing blues) and powerbender (my personal favourite that's great for everything from jazz to hard rock). he also invented half-valving, which i won't get into but basically gives you the ability to bend all notes in different ways, which works on diatonic and chromatic harmonicas. his work has really bridged the gap between the two instruments. he's also created double decker harmonicas, modular reed harmonicas, switchable octave harmonicas, extended range harmonicas and all sorts of harmonicas with extended expressiveness in about a hundred different ways. his playing is also exceptional. he's a very diverse but recognizable player capable of fitting in just about anywhere but you're always sure it's him when you hear that distinctive sound

so those are the main harmonica players id suggest. if you're looking for more id recommend will wilde (hard rock/metal player who uses his own tuning and WILL BLOW YOUR MIND), todd parrott (incredible bluegrass player who takes advantage of modern harmonica techniques in a traditional setting), carlos del junco (a blues/jazz/roots player with a very unique, technical style), jimmy reed (blues singer with a highly influential harmonica sound), joel andersson (innovative european folk player who uses many novel harmonica designs and is also a fantastic harmonica technician), p.t. gazell (western swing and jazz player who uses half-valved diatonics to get chromatic notes instead of overbends) and konstantin reinfeld (he really plays everything, from jazz to classical to hip hop to tango to bollywood music. all on diatonic harmonica)

here's a playlist with all the songs i linked and more! i hope other people will see this post too if there's one thing i can't stand it's harmonica ignorance

Like any person of culture, tonight I sought out a list of musical artists who revolutionized the usage of the humble harmonica. The list I found involved Neil Young's Heart of Gold.

Needless to say, I entered a berserker state.

#im sorry this is so long i get excited when people are interested in harmonica #harmonica #neil young #deford bailey #little walter #sonny terry #charlie mccoy #jason ricci #pat ramsey #howard levy #brendan power #will wilde #todd parrott #carlos del junco #jimmy reed #joel andersson #p.t. gazell #konstantin reinfeld

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