#Why brands still think now is a good time to market the hell out of women’s empowerment

[themysticaldrumstick]

Hear me out, MC is in the beauty or maybe even the fashion industry? And if this company is something they've created with their own two hands from nothing instead of it being a case of an already existing one switching leadership roles, they probably are also the face of their brand too, which isn't much of an issue when you're young and hot, but now you're in your 30s? Signs of aging are popping up and your body's changing. Sure, MC's still hot, but are they just 30s hot? Not to mention it's kinda hard to feel that way when the nature of beauty and fashion is so superficial and reliant on youth, youth that is slowly slipping away from you. I mean I don't think 30s is old at all but especially for women it's hard out there. Also twink death???? Do you stop showing up in your brand's advertising and marketing? Do you shift audiences? Do you change aesthetics if it was originally so heavily tied to you as a person? Do you double down and risk being seen as an old person trying to stay as young as they were before? At what point do you transition styles? And who do you find comfort in when it seems like you're running out of time, everyone around you is already coupled up, and you've had no luck after your divorce? And you know, if MC modeled for their brand they're probably on advertisements that the ROs see out and about, means nothing to B who has no idea who we are until the vacation, might be bittersweet to M who's probably happy MC is doing well after they lost contact, and hell for post divorce E who just can't escape their ex.

On a more lighthearted note, I think it's funny to imagine a MC that goes from super cool and rebellious to full on parent stereotype. Sorry you had to find out this way dear son that your kinda cringe dad who wears hawaiian shirts with cargo shorts and sandals with the most aggressive tan lines and hairy legs used to be everyone's dreamy bad boy type back in the day. People used to give everything up to be with him but now he hosts a neighborhood cookout every month and falls asleep at exactly 6:47pm in his recliner while the TV's on.

Haunts E? Yeah, that sounds like something MC would do. Pretty sure B would be freaking star-struck, and have hearts in their eyes instead. Hey, don't cut M slack, they'd be highly into it, trust me.

MC's son, looking at them starry-eyed: Teach me your ways!

If you are the same anon, who talked about untapped angst potential, I see it. I see it, now. Currently omw to the computer as we speak ✍️ Also bad-boy MC turned good sounds like fun to write.

Ah, the flavor text.

(Totally ignoring the fact that I have to slave away for it. I spent ten minutes figuring out why the code kept giving me an error only to realize how terrible my indenting was.)

[arkus-rhapsode]

Gaming Hot Take of the Day: I feel like companies and costumers really gotta do better with managing expectations.

Now look I’m a bit more lenient of fans cause in a lot of ways, fans enthusiasm is often what keeps a piece of media alive. You got a game like paper Mario TTYD and it’s almost 20 years old now. And for those 20 years you could only legally play it on a GameCube. Fans of that game kept it alive-they were the ones making fan art and games inspired by it (shout out to Bug Fables) hell it’s been a minute from my smash bros fanfic days but it was the first two paper Mario games I remember often being used as the world building for those fics interpretation of the mushroom kingdom.

But there’s recently been a miasma around the sales of the remake. Namely it’s not cracked two million despite all the time it’s been on the market. Now there are factors you can look at like it didn’t release in a holiday season, the switch is on its eighth year, and it’s a remaster which really tend to have a lack of enthusiasm compared to a brand new release.

But for a lot of Paper Mario fans, this game coming back was a holy grail-that if it returned that it would do incredibly well and send a message to corporate. And it did, in Nintendo’s own words, “solid.” Nothing spectacular but clearly not a failure. You can probably guess that like Metroid or DMC, the answer is this type of game does have a bit of a cap on people who are actually interested in dropping $60 for a game despite how iconic the property is.

However, we’re not just talking about luxury products were talking about art and art is often times is tied up in people’s emotions. And sometimes it can be disappointing when there are these great games that only do a fraction of something like Pokémon Scarlet/Violet. A game objectively broken and yet still makes bank. So yes, while I wish more fans were realistic about what a game “deserves,” I understand them. And I think their passion and enthusiasm keeps games alive.

But then there’s companies. Oh lord do I have some opinions on their unrealistic expectations. I know I harped on Nintendo but at the very least that’s a company that at least acknowledges anything of theirs that breaks a million is pretty decent. Meanwhile you got EA and Activision who just abandon properties people love in the name of evergreen money printing ventures.

And boy the marketing doesn’t help. There is so many game trailers these days that always feel kinda flat and I don’t know why I should invest in this. Or if it’s a story driven game where they spoil everything in the trailer.

Look I understand that these companies are businesses they can’t make 300 games at a time and expect to stay afloat. I’m not saying they need to revive every IP. But there’s gotta be some middle ground. I think a game can be a success if you manage your budget, man power, and development cycle more efficiently and pair it with decent marketing. Not everything will sell like Call of Duty and that’s okay. But no it’s always go big or go home.

There’s stuff you can do to mitigate some of this. Make games more accessible and available (Nintendo really needs this lesson) so that people have the opportunity to play these and become fans even if no new game happens. Focus on stronger marketing of what the game is about and what can be expected. Not just teasing with cinematic for an overly long hype cycle. If a game is gonna be exclusive to one system you’re probably gonna need to account for working with a limited user base (Hello Square Enix).

I think of myself as someone who is pretty good at managing my expectations, but that was something I had to do myself. Game companies sure didn’t do it for me.

[northwest-cryptid]

The future is now, and a lot of people really don't like it.

It's something I've noticed, I was born just before the turn of the century, and I grew up with a lot of talk about what the future would be like. Computers, the internet, technology itself was still fairly new at least to the everyday consumer. Sure my father had been programming for years, but cell phones were still bricks we had to carry around in our pocket. This isn't a put down, so please don't think I'm using Zoomer as a derogatory term or anything but; Zoomers may not really grasp the fact that our first cell phones were these really chunky bricks that had 2 toned small screens that literally could just make calls or play snake. Texting was a pain, you had to literally hit the same key multiple times to cycle through letters and then wait for it to move to the next slot if you needed a letter on the same key.

And yet, almost everyone around me, and everyone I spoke to online was excited about technology; about the future. Integration of tech into the daily lives of those around you was the coolest stuff you could see, we had classes in school that taught us not just how to type and use the computer, but also things like internet safety and even really basic stuff about how to program. We're talking about elementary school by the way, I was playing computer games in the lab and learning how to type properly, how to stay safe online; and in some cases even how to make games. It was uncommon for anyone even in middle school to own a cell phone, and if they did it was a Nokia. You had people who would swear by Apple products because "they made the iPod!" Which yea, you read that correctly; not the iPhone; the iPod. The iPhone was still just this sort of concept back in the day. The idea of a future where our phones could do more than play snake, send texts, and call people.

You had a lot of people online who made their own websites and were lamenting how easy the internet was becoming for "just any schmuck on the street" to use. It used to be a utopia for only the biggest nerds with their text based computer games and personal websites. However it was quickly becoming more and more accessible to the every-man and people were divided on whether or not that was a good thing. Some didn't care for the direction the internet was going, and others enjoyed the attention the internet and technology by proxy was finally getting.

With more people being able to use technology effectively, the demand for better and better tech was growing. At the time, the capitalistic nature of the industry was fine, it prompted companies to compete for the biggest and the best new stuff to show off. If you were going to spend your money on something; it really had to be quality made. This isn't just about cell phones and computers either, if you look back at how much advancement was made in game consoles back during the time of the Gamecube or Dreamcast eras, you'll see that no one in the console industry could stand by and make sales by just being a brand name. Everything from computer parts to gaming consoles to even software was becoming better, whether that meant faster; higher definition, or even just sometimes having bigger numbers. I mean hell the Nintendo 64 literally put the number in the name to tell you how big of a deal it was.

This was the golden age for technology, and I am genuinely sad that a lot of Zoomers never got to really experience it. We shit-talk Zoomers for growing up without tech literacy, or being iPad babies, but the truth is; they're not taught like we were. Most of the older Millennials, or gen Xers had a lot more understanding of tech because we either were literally raised on it, or we were making it. Zoomers never got to experience what it was like to know the what and why of new tech coming out. The market has become so taken over by capitalistic greed that no one is really happy about it.

We wanted a world where tech made people's lives easier, integration of tech into your daily life was meant to simplify things. Not to advertise 20 different products to you before you can request an uber to come pick you up just so it can ask you if you want to upgrade, only for your uber driver to be so distracted by their phone and the reek of marijuana that they can't drive safely. Which mind you, isn't to say phones or weed are necessarily bad, but hey don't drive under the influence you piece of shit, especially not with passengers; you make the rest of us look bad! Now I gotta go online and complain about this on social media, of course I'm talking about like, maybe one of five social media sites people actually use. Yes it's highly censored and what isn't censored by the people running the site is likely to be caught in the net of the social culture around the website, so of course I have to watch what I say and over explain myself. Then I think I'll reblog that post about how we're all explaining ourselves too much and being too nice and we're too afraid to speak our minds and we really need to stop doing that. Then I'll answer the anon hate I got for speaking my mind and trying to not over explain myself because the social culture net is so broad it encompasses significantly too many different kinds of people who won't see eye to eye...

My point with that whole paragraph is to say that even someone like me, who adores technology and wants it to progress and wants it to integrate more into my life; still doesn't agree with what has become of it. I think the worst part about it is that some of it is inescapable while other parts can be fixed but every time I say that I get yelled at for it. It's like people would rather believe they're trapped here than understand they still have a lot of power over the use of their technology. It's easier to accept the world around you when you don't feel like you could do anything, when you understand that you could do something rather than merely complain it creates a dilemma. Suddenly you know for a fact you could fix your problem, but that requires a certain amount of effort on your part. I've heard people tell me they can't learn to code in HTML for reasons branching from trauma to disabilities. Which is baffling because if you can literally make a text post on tumblr, or send me anon hate to yell at me about how you can't possibly learn HTML; you could easily type out HTML or copy paste it.

However I'm not here to point fingers, I'm here to say I've noticed that the places we can't escape from are getting more and more aggressive, and no one feels like we can do anything. It's rough, because I know if we did try to do something it would be a hell of a lot more effort than just getting people to figure out they could make their own websites if they don't like the ones they are on.

The majority of public transport, businesses, and restaurants have apps that require you to have a smart phone. I sit down and ask for a menu, I'm told there's a QR code on the table I can scan. I once told a waitress my phone couldn't scan QR codes and she made a big fuss about how they don't have physical menus anymore and she wasn't about to tell me what all they had as options. It was my fault for being too poor to afford a good enough phone. Something that was once considered a luxury is now a necessity to eat at an establishment. If you're curious, it was a waffle house. A fucking Waffle House decided to do away with their menus and opted for QR codes. Thankfully I've not seen this catching on with other Waffle Houses, but consider the target audience of a Waffle House. This isn't some fancy classy restaurant, this is a 24/7 diner where you stop in at 3 AM to eat some poorly cooked hash-browns and eggs that were made by a poor college student who isn't paid enough; and hope no one starts a fight because the only other two people in this place are drunk off their ass and getting a little loud with the waiter. When I asked the waitress for literally just hash-browns, a couple of eggs, and bacon; a typical breakfast you could get just about anywhere that serves, you know; breakfast. I was told that's not a menu item and that I'd need to order off the menu if I wanted to actually buy anything. We went back and forth for about 5 minutes and I was doing my best to be polite about the situation because I've worked food service before and I understand too well what it's like to just want a quiet, simple shift. Finally the manager came out, charged me about $7 and made me some food. When they told the waitress to leave me be I heard her remark "alright but they were being rude as fuck" as she walked off. Mind you the only thing I asked for was a menu, then some food; and then asked what the menu item most resembling my order would have been and to just charge me for that. As the waitress stood off in the corner of the Waffle House she literally pulled out her smart phone. Not once did she offer to just scan the QR code for me and help find an order closest to my request, or any such thing. The situation was simple in her mind, I didn't have access to their QR code menu, so I couldn't order anything; end of story.

For many if you take public transport and you need an app for it, your phone needs to be able to run that app. If it can't you're out of luck, it doesn't matter if you have the money for the bus, it doesn't matter if you could pay a taxi. You need to have the app on your phone to travel, you need to scan a QR code to eat, some apps will literally ask for your ID or driver's license, so that's fun. I've literally had apps ask me for my social security information. Yea, remember kids don't give out your personal information to anyone online... unless it's this fun app you use, because remember the guys at [business] are your friends! I know you may believe that they're a business and therefore they have to use your data responsibly, but the truth is that's just not how it works. The people working at Google, at Tumblr, at Uber, they're all just people; people like you and me. Except they have access to your cloud storage, they have access to everything you've ever posted, they have access to your location, they have access to any pictures you've taken that get automatically backed up to your phone with metadata that lists the exact place it was taken; yes that includes your nudes. "For your eyes only... and like all the google employees who see this, and that one creepy guy who screenshot it and shares it with his friends uwu"

Not to be a boomer, but back in my day we were literally taught internet safety in school; and a lot of people cared deeply about this sort of thing. They weren't so apathetic to it all just to get through the day, I hear people say "oh I don't care, I know they're watching, listening; they know everything about me, targeted ads are real; etc." Hell I've been there myself, it's hard to care about it all because it feels like it's everywhere. I understand you may not want to really concern yourself with it, but when you're aware of it you can actually take measures to prevent it where you can. That's literally WHY we were taught this shit in school.

Truth is, I still have those hopes of a future where tech is part of the daily life of those who want it. I love the idea of convenient apps and fun websites. I love the idea of tech advancing and everyone finding new ways to enjoy life. Things like Vtubers, VR/AR tech, video games, and yes even the good things about shit like cell phones, and smart devices. That's all great, but I want it without all the bullshit. I hate using AR tech and going "hi random Meta employee who's likely viewing my data, location, and possibly has random access to my cameras and what I'm running on my own personal tech!" People call me paranoid, they bitch at me for being cynical; and I can't blame them. I really can't, because I know I'd enjoy life a lot more if I didn't think like this, if I didn't know what I know. It's that age old saying that ignorance is bliss.

However, when I see things like the Old Web Movement, and I understand people are trying; they're fighting the good fight and I'm just sitting there? I can't do that. I have to do my part, I have to try as well; or else I have no right to complain, to want for better tech; safer tech, more private tech. I can't scream about something as simple as discord suddenly telling me about everything my friends are playing, or what they're watching in a server I'm not even a part of; unless I'm actively actually doing my part to spread awareness and fight against the violations of privacy that so many tech applications are imposing upon people. I have to speak up even if people hate me for it.

If I was alone on that front, I'd probably let it die; I'd just be some hermit living my own way and not even care. However when I see people trying to fight for others to make their own websites, to give that power back to the public. When I see people trying to teach others how to jailbreak their tech, how to fight back against the automation of data mining and AI stealing your every word to teach some multi-billion dollar waste of electricity. I have to do my part, because I was born just before the turn of the century; and while I'm sure people would tell me it's not that deep. I still dream of the future that was promised to me when I was young, and if I can't have it in my life time, I'll fight for Zoomers; and if they can't have it in theirs, I want them to be armed with the knowledge necessary to help the next generation.

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

real! I used to love her (ts) but she feels very different than she used to. I’ve listened to phoebe bridgers a bit, she was good just not the type of music I usually listen to. Boy genius and Lucy Dacus are both amazing tho. They for sure deserved to win Aoty, or sia

sorry for how long this got??? i just started writing and oh whoops....

anyway- THATS what ive been saying about her unfortunately. its like after folklore/evermore things genuinely changed because of all the fame and popularity. people werent criticizing her anymore and instead overly praising her.

which isnt bad! i do think she deserves praise over folklore. the marketing of it being a suprise album was very clever too. but i think before those folklore there was a sense of criticism that people had with her music that kept her wanting to innovate it.

i have a strong believe that social media's algorithms are failing artists to innovate pop music in the same way than 00's pop music did just because of how much less artists have to lose now with their brandings. i once again bring up artpop by lady gaga and how much she lost for her idea???? and now??? gaga was really fucking killing it. her music had such creativity and passion put into it that you can SEE her drive in that. (also to know i didnt understand artpop as an album until MUCH later in my life)

but taylors lack of needing to innovate her sound due to her popularity and lack of criticism really has just shown how much her music has come to decline in quality. if you see the transition between fearless and speak now. those two albums. she TOOK the criticism that she "couldnt write her own songs" and literally flipped that narrative to write that entire album herself. and to me? arguably speak now is MY favorite taylor album.

and the transition between speak now to red to 1989 to reputation. theres SO much that happened in that sense of time. theres different sounds that make those albums what they are. 1989 was such a creative endeavor for her because it was her first step into pop music. i think was also her first time working with jack? now people say her decline on music is his fault as a producer but i dont believe his role had gotten bad until midnights. (i saw people discussing clairo's sling album because he produced it. but THEYRE WRONG. SLING IS GOOD AND HIS ERA OF BAD PRODUCING HAPPENED IN 2023(?) i forget when midnights came out ugh thats how many taylor albums we have gotten ffs)

but the breakaway and challenge 1989 gave really set up for reputation. she disappeared because of all the hate. and i think while I DONT SUPPORT that type of treatment because no one should go through that type of mental low... that really set her into a space to create more fluidly and with more passion?

lover- people will say was a flop.. and ill admit too... cruel summer?? shouldve never ever became a single. it was better as a hidden gem. but lover was good for the majority of songs!! there's still passion in it.

it was just that after folklore/evermore it felt very.... underwhelming and not like her at all. the quality slipped so so off the page. it just feels very recycled and unnecessary. especially like i said the fandom doesnt help with overconsumtion and she really truly should use her platform for more. the economy being in shambles and yet she wants to charge $700 for a concert ticket. (nothing bad if like someone WANTS to go but its genuinely ridiculous because inflation shouldnt BE like that).

not to even cover merch??? why is it so high?? shouldnt you want it to be accessible to your fans since you have so many?? vinyl prices are ridiculous but WHY is a hoodie almost $100. im sorry but like why 😭. cant we just charge $60 again?????

anyway all that to say that after the evermore era her music genuinely slipped off. im just thankful that the speak now rerecord didnt get BOTCHED as high hell. i have opinions about the vault tracks because the entire reason was to include tracks from that era and yet its like your smearing shit onto a perfectly wonderful painting and saying "look yall!! i added to this!!" wrong. wrong wrong wrong. idk. 1989's vault tracks just made me mad. it felt so unlike the vibe of what 1989 was???? and slut was NOT written at the time of 1989. come on.

timeless though off of the rerecord for speak now.... i will defend that one with my honor. i genuinely am glad speak now's vault tracks didnt get horrible treatment. i like that she kept the solo writing with the entire album. adding on fob and hayley's collabs as a callback because i really remember seeing videos of her singing sugar were going down and thats what you get during the speak now tour. it just felt like a full circle moment for that. fob's collab couldve been better but im glad it wasnt like... bad.

stilllll think matty's collab couldve been iconic on slut. even if i hate 1989's vault tracks as a whole... the 1975 does have good music. I KNOW. controversial yeah. anyway. hes got talent tho.

i found phoebe during 2020 when i was listening to a bunchhh of different artists (the 1975 too yeah). but punisher found me and i used to not be able to sleep due to anxiety/insomnia back then and i would listen to that album for months to just SLEEP.

i have a closeee bond with it. its like my favorite if not a close second of my favorite album of all time. its just really interesting?? also really valid that its not your type of music either. i just hold her stuff close. also did a english assignment on smoke signals' lyrics. i remember that. i got to say "fuck the cops" in the assignment and felt very proud of myself LMAO.

in terms of lucy- i for some reason never have gotten around to listening to her stuff?? even though i know i need to and should?? i just always somehow forget. many people have told me to but oh man i forget.

glad we can agree that they deserved album of the year btw.

sorry for the LENGTHY reply but yeah!! i might be forgetting to talk about something but askinf about my special interests (music) will always give you a lengthy answer.

[talenlee]

Fundamentalism Is A Grift

New Post has been published on PRESS.exe: Fundamentalism Is A Grift

It’s not that fundamentalist christianity is itself fundamentally a grift, it’s just it’s a space that’s always, always, always going to feature some variety of grifters. I don’t have an explanation for why, this isn’t a scientifically researched position or anything, it’s just me noticing a pattern with the same thing, every single time, every single time I stumble into it anew.

It’d be easy to extrapolate that this is related to power dynamics. If a fundamentalist group are all people who defer to a specifically limited interpretation of some source text or ideological position, it almost always expresses as refusal to engage with, or accept, things outside that position. It’s not necessarily the same thing as being big on ‘fundamentals’ per se — I don’t imagine there are mechanics who refuse to fix brake pads because they’re too committed to the fundamental principles of the lever or anything. The basic idea I’m talking about here are ideological communities, usually ones like my fundamentalist evangelical christian background.

I’ve talked about Christian Replacement Media (a few times, in fact) and the way that there’s a market inside these fundamentalist spaces, for, well, everything. You know, you can buy godly books and movies and music and that’s specially separated from the filthy excesses of the other industries around them and so on, but don’t think it’s limited to just the content. It’s also the presentation. Hobby Lobby is infamous for its Christian culture in the fundie space, so buying goods there, and goods with their own branding is a sort of ‘christian’ action you can see in these fundie spaces. We had Koorong bookstores for that.

It’s been perhaps as a byproduct of paying attention to the Content Creation Griftosphere lately that I’ve been so mindful of this lately. Alex Jones wants you to buy his boner pills, the Birchers want you to buy their literature (and distribute copies!), Praying Medic wants you to subscribe to his patreon or whatever, and even actual outright nazis want you to pay into their subscribestars.

Growing up, our pastor was running a business trying to distribute multi-level marketing nonsense, like health-care supplements and alternate medications, I think it’s still around and the brand persists. I know there were atttempts made to recruit my dad into other MLM stuff like Amway, and while we listened to the tapes in the car, nothing came of it. Which was wild as well in hindsight because dad was always a good salesperson, I imagine if he’d gone in on it he might have wound up becoming one of those guys.

It seems almost tautological to point it out: These dudes and it is almost always dudes, are always running a con or a scam. I can’t think of a single fundamentalist christian outlet, people offering to share in the fellowship of the body of christ as indicated by a very specific reading of a text, that isn’t ultimately connected in some way to selling something, and that something is never actively good. Hell, Jones has gotten to the point where he’s now just plain out selling overpriced crap because you’re ‘paying to fight the infowar.’

So fundies are scammers, so what.

Well, not all fundies are in on the scam. In fact, there are a lot of good-faith actors in the space who are shitheads for other reasons, but which don’t realise they’re dealing with other scam artists. And that’s why you may notice most of these people in these spaces tend to be a bit territorial, a bit… exclusive. Most of the time, give these people enough time and even if they overlap on 99% of what they do they’ll still find ways and reasons to be mad at one another, to find some reason to try and keep their audiences and their income stream isolated to just them.

What an example?

Patch the Pirate is the stage name of a guy named Ron Hamilton, a guy who I file happily in the ‘good faith producer’ space of Christian Replacement Media. Note that he is a big dumb shithead for other reasons, what with the misogyny and racism, but it’s the kind of misogyny and racism that he would see as just ‘good old fashioned fun,’ or ‘old fashioned values,’ you know how it is. He’s the source of the truly harrowing I Wanna Marry Daddy song, which he then had his daughters sing on an album, which

Yeah anyway.

Patch the Pirate media is basically karaoke covers levels of qualities of Christian knock-off songs of well-known songs from other sources, praise songs and hymns, and some moral messaging that I understand is derived from in many cases the Pat Boone-ification of other modestly singable songs from Back In The Day. It’s like how a lot of sunday school songs are all built around classic showtunes if you know the right corpus.

What I’m saying is this guy makes the Christian Replacement Media version of Softest Cheese. There is no edge to his music.

But.

But.

He has not escaped criticism.

I was gunna start this article just going ‘hey, here’s a goofy thing from my childhood’ about how fundie music and art sucked and I was going to give you a run through on one of the Patch the Pirate pieces (and I still might, another time). But what I got caught up on here was instead finding this amazing controvery from 2000, back in the still-sharing-tapes time of the Patch the Pirate industry, from again, probably good faith actors who nonetheless understand that you have to defend your turf.

While most of the music produced by Majesty Music of Greenville, South Carolina (headed up by Ron and Shelly Hamilton), is excellent, we must warn that some of the newer recordings are moving in a contemporary direction. This is particularly true of the newer Patch the Pirate children’s tapes. The Mount Zion Marathon tape for example, has a song titled “Lazy Bones,” which is certainly akin to rock music. It uses a syncopated rhythm with a heavy, synthesized bass. The music would be right at home in a nightclub or a sleazy Broadway play. Though it is tame compared to much of the standard CCM fare today, Patch the Pirate’s “Lazy Bones” will help develop an appetite in children for worldly music. Other examples of this can be found on their newer tapes.

David Cloud

CCM in this case referes to contemporary christian music, the idea of Christian music that wasn’t made before the Titanic was. But still, this David Cloud guy (a fundamentalist critic of other fundamentalist work) has problems with a song called Lazy Bones, which would be right at home in a nightclub or sleazy broadway play.

Imagine what this music is.

Please.

Just put it in your mind what it could be.

Ready?

Okay, it’s this:

Lazy Bones

Watch this video on YouTube

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[clover-the-awesomest]

I think that there’s a very soft line drawn in a sandpit when it comes to TV show ratings. Yes, when it comes to shows marketed towards kids under the age of say 8 or 10, those shows need to watch what they allow. Just like what the previous person said.

For example, let me mention a couple shows that rub people the wrong way when it comes to what they show.

The Owl House. Pretty simple to explain why I’m mentioning this. Disney refused to let this masterpiece go through a full three seasons because it didn’t fit the “Disney brand.” What that means is the show was depicting much more graphic material compared to their previous shows, and the target audience wasn’t meant for the kind of audience Disney Channel usually has. They were afraid their usual audience of pre-teens and 9-year-olds would end up watching a very dark and not fun episode of TOH and would not have a good time afterwards. It’s a pretty reasonable concern all things considered, but they have to be reminded then that they allowed this show to air. They gave Dana a chance, people really liked it, the pilot got good ratings, the show racked in a ton of good money, and the rating was very fair and accommodating.

Now, this is a pretty rare concern but it still exists, so I’m gonna mention it. Hazbin Hotel. Yeah. There are genuinely people out there who think this show is catered towards kids. I am dead serious. Hazbin Hotel, as we all know, is an animated show with a target audience of mid-teens and young adults. No measly 13+ rating here! And this is all made very obvious by the fact that the show isn’t on some big mainstream cable channel or on Disney+ or anything like that. Hazbin is on Amazon+, a streaming service filled with 18+ rated shows! I can understand the classic Christian mother complaints and all that, but there are other usually normal people out there who actually believe this show was made for kids! This is all due to the bright colors and warm atmosphere of the hotel and the characters, and the designs all feel like something straight out of a young and dumb animation studio or something. Kids are naturally drawn to bright colors and cool animation, but that’s literally the only two things that could hint at this thing being made for kids. Everything else is clearly showing that Hazbin Hotel is an adult show, and even the dumbest of Karens should and hopefully does know this.

And finally, after that huge block of text, we reach The Amazing Digital Circus! And just like Hazbin, TADC features fun, stretchy, expressive animation with bright and attractive colors. Not only that, but the world takes place in an old 3D circus video game from the late 90’s or early 2000’s, and the whole theme of the circus seems as though it is intentionally trying to draw in little kids. BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!! The show is gonna be available for free on YouTube. If that’s not a recipe for concerned parents complaining then I don’t know what is. But just like TOH, the rating clearly states that the target audience is 13+, and its reputation of being Murder Drones 2.0 immediately clues people in that this show is not made for young itty bitty babies. Hell, the fact that it’s written and conceptualized by Gooseworx should say all that and more!

So basically what I’m getting at is that shows made for little kids can show slightly dark things such as grief and change and themes that kids can experience on a daily basis, once something hits that 13+ mark they can basically go apeshit if the director allows it. And if you have a little kid under 13 years old who seems a bit too eager to explore the internet, take responsibility for that kid and check the rating of the shows they wanna watch. It’s the responsibility of not just the kid, but also the kid’s guardian or trusted older person to figure out what to watch. Just because something looks fun and happy and bright and colorful… Yeah. It’s probably not.

IN SHORT, BE CAREFUL ON THE INTERNET. THERE’S SOME REAL CRAZY SHIT DOWN HERE.

People know that the whole "don't portray [harmful action] because viewers might recreate it" thing is a rule for children's shows right? It's supposed to be shit like "don't show peppa pig playing with fire so we don't get sued if a kid watches it and burns their house down." Not like, fanfiction for adults.

[blogtaculous]

The parts of Halo: Infinite that were Halo are really good and it was fun. The parts that were Bolted On Open World For No Reason were just fine. Bummed there won’t be any campaign DLC, which I thought was the whole reason for the open world thing, but whatever. Cortana and Master Chief are really well presented, even after all this time. New Cortana is good.

I love these games. I love the tone and the gameplay and the visuals. But, wow, is it all so troublesome. Like, I still haven’t played Halo 5. I looked up the plot because I felt like I was missing something during Infinite. Didn’t Cortana experience rampancy and die in a nuke in the fight with (checks Wikipedia) the Didact? But now she’s back? Yes! She returns with a Genocide Boner and that’s all fine, except the actual battle against Cortana happens between games? Come on. I like Infinite’s story but I’m not sure why the resolution to Halo 5 had to happen in a flashback during Infinite. Hmm… if only your open world game could be slowly expanded upon, allowing for both the fight against Cortana and then the threat of the Endless…

Goddamn look at that paragraph. What a nightmare.

There’s all this turmoil because the people Microsoft invented to take over Halo aren’t meeting expectations. Halo 4 had a campaign so weird I just don’t want to play it again, unlike 1-3 or Reach. I can imagine The Suits like “why aren’t the new games as iconic?”

I think the writing is on the wall. Microsoft just cannot sustain an environment that makes good games. They can’t. We should have seen it years ago when the fucking fumbled the hell out of the console market post-360. We should have known when they used the same name for different console generations. And it’s only all the more obvious after they’ve gone out of their way to acquire all these studios to produce absolute trash.

The answer for The Suits is “you fucked up your own console sales with bad branding and stupid ideas for monetization” and also “you’re reacting to loud mouth losers who probably don’t even like your games in the first place” and lastly “your time table for producing gold under these conditions is completely out of whack with reality.”

[notfebruary]

I've been thinking about why I have had such a hard time getting involved in online spaces anymore, or trying to meet new people through them.

I mean, part of me really misses being more active in fandoms and the sense of community that can bring.

The other part of me feels alienated by how frightening and downright mean people can get when they decide they don't like you and how that can even lead to real-life consequences or years-long bullying campaigns based on baseless accusations.

It's never happened to be me, personally, but seeing it happen to other people I've exchanged words with on multiple occasions has honestly been traumatizing enough on its own.

Online spaces used to feel like a safe haven where my debilitating social anxiety caused by difficulties socializing with ASD could be left behind for a time. Communicating through text is far easier for me than verbally, so I guess it was a good match.

That's not really the case anymore, though. It doesn't feel as safe anymore. I've been trying to puzzle out why for a while now. And I think I'm sort of starting to understand.

I think online spaces stopped feeling safe to me once it became so much easier for people to connect others' real-life identities with online ones.

Not just because of the practice of doxxing people, but even just because of the push for normalization in using your real identity in online spaces. I know it's at least in part because of the way social media platforms have become a necessary part of marketing and job-seeking(and the desire for targeted advertising by corporations plays a part too, I guess).

Information about me as a person accrues just by having an online presence for any length of time, and that information is easier than ever for people to access if they really want to dig deep and find it - even if I've never actually shared identifiable details about myself with them.

I've been on the internet since I was like, 13, and while I've done my best to avoid the biggest pitfalls related to online safety... there's still more than a decade's worth of embarrassing mistakes and acting on misconceptions scattered out there, if you know where to look.

And knowing that is kind of... terrifying, I guess. Particularly when some people have a nasty habit of digging up every potentially 'problematic' thing someone has ever done or said and framing it out of context out of sheer spite.

Copied text looks the same as it looks as when it was first typed more than a decade ago. Something that's years old can look brand-new and fresh and relevant.

...There were a hell of a lot of things I didn't understand for a long time - even well into adulthood - because emotional trauma and ASD set me back. Like, a lot.

I never wanted to hurt anybody, but through my own emotional instability and lack of comprehension about various topics(including my own sexuality), I probably did just that. I have a lot of regrets.

And you know what? I'm still don't have my shit together.

Depression and anxiety are often a daily struggle. It's hard for me to even leave my home by myself for fear of unwanted social interactions. I'm terrified of talking with other people who are my age or teenagers face-to-face.

I'm sure things I've said or done online without understanding their implications at some point in the past could be used against me if someone really hated me enough, and that frightens me.

The space I once used to escape my anxieties has become just as frightening to me as the reality I originally fled from. And I still don't know how to feel about that.

[kakyoinscheryblush]

Those Summer Nights [Jotaro Kujo x reader]

Masterlist << Previous chapter ｜Next chapter

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Chapter two, Rydell High and the greasers

*Monday, 1.st p.o.v, Y/n*

“DARLING! COME DOWNSTAIRS!” Mom screamed from the bottom of the stairs. 

I groaned in my pillow as I got up from my bed, “Good God… I’M COMING IN  MINUTE!” I shouted back and was met with silence.

“Classic.” I muttered under my breath as I got out of bed and put on slippers and walked downstairs. 

“I’m here mom… And… Why did you call me down this early? It’s like 6 a.m and I have to get to school at 7:15 a.m” I said and mom looked at me with a raised eyebrow, “...Y/n, you lived on a farm all your life. Did the Winfield air get into your head already?” she asked and I laughed. 

“Oh, don’t worry, I was only joking.” I said as I tried to defend myself. Mom shook her head and motioned at the front doors.

“Your father is waiting outside for you, and hurry up!” Mom pushed me a little and she furrowed her eyebrows. 

‘What in the hell does dad need me now..?’ I thought as I stepped outside with my fluffy slippers. 

And lo and behold, on the drive in stood my father with a brand new car next to him, the keys of the car dangling from his finger. 

“Close your mouth or you’re going to catch flies.” Dad chuckled as he walked over to me and dangled the car keys in front of my shocked face.

“What? You’re at a loss of words?” dad asked jokingly and I still gaped at the new and polished car. 

“I- How- But why-” I tried to form a sentence but closed my mouth.

Dad laughed as he patted me on her back, “You see… Me and your mom want you to fit in with the kids here, and I don’t think that riding around with our beat up pickup truck will help. Besides, we know you have whined for a car since 7th grade.” he said and I gently took the car keys from him. 

The car looked like it was from that one magazine I’ve read in Daleville.

It was dark blue with two big white stripes going from the front to the back. [Car look reference https://imgur.com/a/eN4tMql ]

“I didn’t know that Ford Mustangs were so wanted on the market, but I got a special deal since I know how happy you would be.” Dad smiled warmly as he adjusted his button up shirt.

“I- Thank you dad-” I whispered as I launched herself into his arms. 

“Alright, kiddo- You’re starting to choke me now-” Dad wheezed out as he pulled away from my strong gripp, “Oops, sorry ‘bout that…” I sheepishly laughed and dad only patted my head.

“I have to get going to my new workplace, and you should start getting ready.” he noted as he pointed to my fluffy slippers. 

“Bye dad!” I  exclaimed in embarrassment as I rushed inside and started to get ready. Once I was done, I ate the breakfast that mom prepared and of course went into the yard and had a decent petting session with Bucky. 

Once I washed my hands and got my bag with books, I bid goodbye to Bucky and mom. I entered my brand new Ford Mustang and grinned, “This machine is so much better that our red tin can…” I laughed as I pulled out of the driveway and started to drive out of the neighborhood. 

I noticed the stares she was getting as she entered the center of town. I passed the restaurants, cinemas and many more until I reached the high and mighty, Rydell High.

My confidence began to deflate as soon as I noticed just how many people were outside and chatting.

“Maybe… If I stay in my car for a few minutes. Hehehe…” I laughed awkwardly as I noticed the stares from the students who began to whisper ‘discreetly’.

I parked the car in a free spot and adjusted my black skirt that reached past my knees and f/c coloured blouse with a bow tied at the collar. 

“Next time I’m not asking mom for fashion tips.” I muttered and took a deep breath, exiting the new car as I locked it.

I gulped and looked around the huge yard, looking for Tommy who was supposed to wait for me at the entrance. 

As I looked one more time I spotted the dirty blonde guy. I tightly grabbed my leather school bag and began to walk towards Tommy. 

I could see the people staring at me, but I  tried to ignore it.

I noticed Tommy being surrounded by a group of six girls and all of them were laughing and giggling while two of them were wrapped around his arms.

‘Should I say something… Or should I wait?’ I thought and just as I was about to stop a few feet away from Tommy and his groupie, he noticed me and tore away from the girls’ grip. 

“Y/n! Nice to see that you’ve made it! By the way, you have an awesome car! I didn’t know you out of all people would have such a beast.” Tommy laughed. 

‘Ouch… This guy never really learned to give a compliment, did he?’ I thought bitterly as I tightly smiled. 

“What can I say, looks can deceive…” I mumbled out and noticed the glares I was receiving from the six girls.

Tommy also noticed this and laughed, “Oh! How rude of me! Girls, this is Y/n L/n, the new student from Daveville-”

“It’s Daleville.” I quickly interrupted Tommy who only cleared up his throat, “Yeah, yeah Davevill, Danville- whatever. But anyway, I want you all to be nice to her, okay?” he asked and all of them smiled at him and said yes. 

Tommy grinned and motioned for me to follow him, “Don’t worry about them, they just don’t like new people…” Tommy said with a reassuring smile. 

‘Reminds me of a certain hissing feline…’ I internally rolled my eyes and nodded. 

His fangirls followed close to the both of us, whispering God knows what. 

As Tommy was showing me around the school, he noticed the absence of his fangirls. “Not this shit again?” Tommy whispered as he looked around the hallway and noticed the six girls walking into the opposite direction. 

“Tommy? What's the matter?” I asked in confusion and Tommy only rolled his eyes, “For the hundredth time, it’s Thomas- And you’ll have to excuse me for a second-” he muttered as he rushed back to his fangirls who were obviously going back to the entrance to look for somebody who had just arrived. 

And now I was left standing alone in the middle of a crowded hallway.

I had my schedule which arrived via mail but I didn’t know where the rest of my classes were since my guide, Tommy, ran away. 

“Good God… I’ll murder him when I see him…” I muttered angrily but I was all of a sudden tapped on the shoulder. I turned around and was met with two girls smiling. 

One had short blonde hair with bangs, green eyes and was wearing brown flared out pants with a pink shirt with flower print on it along with brown leather sandals.

The other one had longer brown hair with a headband, hazel eyes and was wearing a yellow plaid dress with white flats and she had a small yellow hair clip in her hair.

“Hi… We noticed you were lost and we wanted to know if you needed any help?” the blond one began and the brunette girl nodded in agreement.

I sighed in defeat and nodded my head, “Yeah… This guy Tommy- I mean Thomas was supposed to show me the rest of the school but he ran off to chase his fangirls.”

The two girls’ eyes widened at the mention of Tommy’s name as they both looked at each other, “Thomas… As in a rich looking guy with dirty blonde hair and always wears polo shirts?” the brunette girl asked and I nodded. 

“Yeah… that’s him.” I said and they started to laugh hysterically, “OH GOD! THAT DUNCE!” The blond one slapped the other girl's shoulder as they both howled with laughter. 

I just stood there, waiting for them to finish their laughing fit.

They both calmed down and the blond girl offered me her hand with a grin, “Name’s Sheri Hoffman, nice to meet you. And this is Lisa Carter, ``she said with a warm smile.

“Nice to meet you both, I’m Y/n L/n… And let me just get out my schedule and maybe you can help me.” Y/n said as she pulled out her class schedule and gave it to Sheri and Lisa. 

“Well, Y/n, you're in luck because you share all your classes with us… And with that brat Tommy…” Lisa said and Sheri nodded with a frown.

“How do you even know each other?” Sheri asked as she fixed her blond hair. 

“We’re actually new neighbors.” Y/n said and Sheri and Lisa looked at each other with beliverment.

“You know what? I need a chair to sit down because of this… Let’s get going to class.” Sheri said and all three of them headed to their first class. 

‘I can’t believe I already made friends! Bingo!’ I thought in excitement as I followed Sheri and Lisa. 

*time skip, the end of school*

Well, the classes went on fine, nothing new, except that Tommy had to butt into everyone's sentence and finish it for them. Good God, does that guy ever shut up? 

Sheri and Lisa went home through the back entrance, since they had their own rides home. And we exchanged our numbers so we can stay in contact.

As I was walking down the bustling hallway I noticed more eyes looking at me. 

Gee, did these Rydell High kids never learn that it was rude to stare at somebody?

But I ignored it, since I didn’t want to have any conflict happen on my first day of school. 

As I walked out I was met with students laughing at something. As I fought my way through the crowd and started to walk towards my car, I noticed at what everyone as laughing at, 

My new vandalized car.  

I gasped at the horrendous sight as I rushed to my Ford Mustang and observed the damage. It had scratches all over the windows and it was spray painted on the doors. 

I looked around myself and the laughing crowd disappeared.

“Cowards…” I muttered bitterly as I crouched down and tried to wipe some spray paint off the car. I spent 20 minutes doing so but I was slowly starting to lose my nerves. 

Tommy already went home, and so did Sheri and Lisa…. And I certainly couldn’t show up home with my car looking like this. 

I started to wipe down the spray paint more aggressively, but nothing was coming off. As 10 minutes passed, the school's parking lot was almost empty and the school was now closed. 

I sat onto the curb of the sidewalk and put my elbows on my knees and put my chin on my palms, thinking of a way to explain this to my parents. 

All of a sudden a shadow was cast over me and I looked up, only to be met with a guy with black hair. 

“Uh… Hello?” I asked the guy, a bit dejected. He didn’t say anything to me and looked at my vandalized car.

I looked at him with an raised eyebrow as he walked closer to the dark blue Ford Mustang and scoffed. 

“Those bastards really outdid themselves…” he muttered out and I nodded my head, “Yeah, they created a true masterpiece.” I replied sarcastically. I took a closer look at him and noted his appearance. 

He was tall, taller than Tommy, had jet black hair that was greased up but had a bang falling over his forehead, aquamarine colored eyes and was wearing dark blue jeans with a white shirt and a notable black leather jacket. 

A sudden flashback flew over my head as I remember Tommy describing those ‘hooligans’ when I was at his house for dinner with my family. 

‘Was he the one who did this and was just trying to cover it up?’ my mind raced with various options, but should I really trust Tommy’s word after Sheri and Lisa told me everything they knew about him?

Why do I have to choose such things in such stressful situations!?

“Well… Are you going to just look at it or what?” I asked the guy with irritation as I got up and dusted off my skirt.

He glanced at me and raised an eyebrow, “Good grief, you’re that new girl in the school, aren't you?” he asked all of a sudden, completely ignoring my question. 

I nodded my head, not having any energy to argue, “Yeah, I am. Why do you ask?” I asked him.

“Because you apparently smell like chicken food, and- they were partly right. But they didn’t include you having this Ford Mustang.” the guy said as he motioned to my vandalized car. 

“I SMELL LIKE CHICKEN FOOD ? WHO TOLD YOU THAT!?” I raged as my face flushed in embarrassment. How is that even possible? I put on a ton of perfume and what not shit I found in the bathroom. 

The guy looked at me, unfazed by my yelling and shrugged his shoulders, “It was a group of some girls walking by me and thinking I was listening to them or something. You already got yourself a reputation, chicken girl.” the guy said and I fought my urge to kick him and smash his head against the curb.

“Did you just… call me… Chicken girl?” I asked in disbelief. What is with these Rydell High kids? 

“I did.” The guy simply replied. I groaned internally and clenched my fist. “Okay, oil grease, do you know any mechanics near here so I can get my fucking car fixed?” I asked as I crossed my arms. 

The guy rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his greased up hair, “I do… And that’s me.” he said. My expression fell as the words hit my ear. 

Really? Was this some kind of joke? 

“You're joking, right? How much did Tommy pay you?” I asked the guy.

“That fuck face didn’t pay me anthing, and I’m telling the truth. I can fix your car until midnight.” he said and I looked at him, unconvinced. 

Should I trust him? What if he wants to kidnap me? But my thoughts wandered off to my raging parents and I made up my mind.

I’m going to trust this grease oil guy. 

“Fine by me, where is your car repair shop then?” I asked him as I unlocked my car and got in the driver's seat. Thank God they didn’t scratch out this glass.

“Well, what are you waiting for, grease boy? Get in.” I said, motioning for him to get in. 

“No, you get out. You’ll get lost.” he said and I rolled my eyes, “And how do you know that?” I asked him, not moving from my seat.

“Good grief, you’re making this more difficult than it has to be.” He muttered out as he grabbed me by my arms, got me out of the car and sat down. 

I opened my mouth but I stopped myself as I saw him adjust his seat and turn on the car.

“You know what? I’m not even going to argue.” I scoffed as I got into the front passenger's seat next to him and crossed my arms. 

“Well then? Aren’t you going to start to drive?” I asked him, still salty, about what he did a few moments ago. “I will, but drop the attitude, chicken girl.” he said and I gave him a glare.

“For your information, my name’s Y/n L/n and not chicken girl, you kind of mispronounced it.” I replied to him as he began to drive from the school.

“Well, I’m Jotaro Kujo, and not oil grease.” he retorted back with sass. 

‘Jotaro Kujo, you say? Interesting… tomorrow I’m going to ask Sheri and Lisa about him…’ I thought as I noticed the scene change.

From nice buildings, restaurants and many more, we came to what seemed a poorer side of Winfielt. Or ‘the East side’ as Tommy referred to it.

Jotaro noticed me looking around, well as much as I could, because of the scratch out side windows. 

“Yeah, this is the East side. I think that somebody already told you about us?” Jotaro asked with a slight frown.

“What do you mean, ‘us’? I asked him. “By ‘us’ I mean the greasers, the people who live in the East side.” he answered, well more like scoffed. 

“Greasers? Is that because of your greasy hair?” I joked and Jotaro only glanced at me, warning me to shut up. Damn, he doesn’t even joke…

For ten more minutes we spent riding in awkward silence across the East side with my vandalized car until I noticed a car repair shop nearing us. 

“Is that it?” I asked with hope. “It is, now get out.” he motioned for me to get out and I quickly exited my car. 

I opened my mouth to ask him something but a group of four similarly dressed guys excited through open garage doors and greeted Jotaro with smirks.

They even had similar hair styles, but they all had matching light blue vests with their name tags, probably the car repair shop uniform.

“Jotaro! Where were you- HOLLY SHIT! The fuck happened to this beauty?!” One brunette guy fell onto his knees as he touched my car. He still didn’t notice until he looked up and met my gaze. 

He tapped Jotaro on the shoulder and everyone quieted down as they looked at me with judgemental looks.

“... And who’s she? She’s one of your fangirls? You know what we think about that.” the same guy said as he quickly scrambled off the ground and dusted his jeans on. 

“No, she isn’t, and that's her car that got vandalized today. She just came with me to wait for the whole repair to finish and go back home.” Jotaro said briefly and got back into the car and drove it into the garage. 

The four guys looked at me strangely, and all of a sudden the shortest, and probably the youngest, walked in front of me and stretched out his hand.

“I’m Danny. Nice to meet you.” he said as he swept up his dirty blond hair away from his face. 

“Nice to meet you Danny. I’m Y/n.” I said as I shook his hand gently. “This is my older brother Dean-” he motioned to a basically older version of himself and Dean only winked in my direction. 

I politely waved, not saying anything. “Then, the smoke addict Michael, and next to him, the red head, is called Kakyoin.” Danny pointed to the two last guys.

And as of cue, Michael lit up his cigarette and pointed the lighter towards Danny, “Call me that again and I’ll use you as an ashtray, ‘kay?” he threatened and Danny laughed. 

“Whatever you say, chimney man.” Danny replied and Michale scoffed as he swept up his dark brown hair.

Kakyoin rolled his eyes and went to me, “I think you should go inside, you know- to see your car getting repaired.” He made up an excuse as he pulled me inside the car repair shop.

I saw Jotaro wiping down the spray paint with some kind of chemical as its smell spread through the whole workshop.

“This is going to take a while as Jotaro likes to nitpick and shit… And you’re in luck, we have some car glasses for your car.” Kakyoin said as he motioned me to sit down on a plastic chair by a small table. 

“Do you know how to play poker?” Kakyoin asked as he pulled out a pack of cards.

I nodded with a smirk, “Oh, you bet I do. I was the best in Daleville.” I said with pride in my voice. 

“We’ll see about that one.” Kakyoin laughed as we began to play and the others pilled in to watch us play poker while Jotaro worked on my car. 

“Wait wait wait, shouldn’t you be helping him or something?” I asked as I noticed the rest of the crew still watching us play, including Kakyoin. The guys looked at each other and scrambled to help Jotaro. 

I laughed to myself as I looked at them flying around the workshop to get the necessary parts. 

After a few hours passed I dozed off as I was sitting on the plastic chair with cars still in my hands. But I was awakened by the light shaking of my arm and I looked up only to see Kakyoin. 

“Hey, Jotaro finished repairing your Mustang and we were planning on going to a diner now. After you pay him the price, say that we left to go to Frankie’s, he knows where that is.” Kakyoin said and I nodded my head as I got up. 

The guys left and it was now only me and Jotaro in the workshop. 

I walked over to Jotaro only to see my car, repaired and polished. It looked like it didn’t even leave my driveway. 

“I… Thank you, Jotaro. You helped me out a bunch.” I thanked him and Jotaro only nodded.

“... No problem, and that would be… 5,000 $.” Jotaro said and I sweated a bit. My dumb ass forgot to bring any money with me today, not even a ten dollar bill. 

Jotaro turned to look at me with a raised eyebrow, “Good grief… don’t tell me you don’t have the money?” he groaned out and I rubbed the nape of my neck in embarrassment.

“I don’t have it… But I can give it to you tomorrow after school?” I suggested and Jotaro looked at me unconvinced. 

“And how do I know you will do that? I don’t like people who lie.” Jotaro said in a low tone and chills went down my spine. ‘Okay this guy is seriously scary…’ I thought as I gulped.  

“Well, you’ll just have to trust me…” I laughed awkwardly as he put the car keys into my hand and scoffed, leaving a black smear on my palm.

“Alright, I expect to see that five grand by tomorrow after school. Good luck on getting it.” Jotaro said and I nodded my head, “Don’t worry about it! It will be a piece of cake!” I said as I got in my car and started the engine.

I pulled out of the workshop and started to drive in the exact direction I remembered Jotaro driving and once I finally reached my neighborhood I noticed mom and dad standing by the doors. 

I parked my car in the driveway and got out and took out my school bag. 

“Hi mom… Hi dad…” I said as Iwaved at them with an embarrassed expression. Mom rushed to me and started to ask me all sorts of detailed questions.

“Mom- MOM! Calm down! I took two of my new friends for a drive around the town and they were showing me around.” I lied to them and both of them looked at each other and nodded. 

“Oh- Thank goodness that you’re okay… Imagine if those greasers kidnaped you or something!” Dad exclaimed and I laughed with him in agreement.

“Yup! But oh well, I’m kind of tired and I need to go greet Bucky.” I excused myself and ran inside. 

I walked into the backyard and Bucky went rushing to me and whining. “I know Bucky… I missed you too…” I cooed to him and he barked back. I heard distant hissing and looked at the fence, and it showed Princess hissing at Bucky. 

“Good God, really? You know what, Bucky! Go get her!” I exclaimed and Bucky didn’t even get to bark once because Princess jumped inside her yard and hid.

I laughed and gave Bucky his fresh food and water and went inside and ate dinner and told my parents about my whole day. 

Expect the part where my car got vandalized, of course. 

I got ready to sleep after putting all the books I needed for tomorrow and laid down on my bed. The scenes from the car shop still playing in my head.

But most importantly, how in the fuck do I plan on getting those five grand by tomorrow morning!?

I closed my eyes and forced myself to dream of picking up money from a tree. Maybe this will somehow work out… 

But tomorrow, the money she has to pay Jotaro won’t be her biggest worry yet…

[harleiquina]

Dare I say that many probably hoped to see a Dark Crystal follow up instead of a brand new story on a new realm (fun fact: Labyrinth was supposed to be Dark Crystal II and Jen was going to rescue his child from the Goblins, but things happened).

As someone who grew up with Labyrinth, I found the Dark Crystal quite boring (don't kill me, but really... you get a better grasp of it as an adult or young-adult, not as a kid) and I'm pretty sure that something similar possibly happened in 1986 but in reverse: people thinking that the movie was too childish/silly and not high-end art (or whatever you want to call it).

It is true that many -even inside of Henson's team, as told in the Ultimate Visual Guide- thought that Sarah was too unlikable as a character and maybe that made them disconnect from her and her adventure.

Another fact is that marketing then wasn't like now, you weren't bombarded with trailers, teasers, BTS photos, interviews on many Youtube channels... trailers were only shown before a movie (and sometimes movies weren't connected at all -let's say the trailer for a horror film before a drama-), maybe some interviews would be on TV at random times (I'm a '90s kid and I remember knowing that X interview would be on the news -lets say somewhere between 12 and 2 PM- and I would watch the whole show to get the thing I wanted to see placed at 1:55PM or not shown at all because they run out of time) so it wad hard to follow whatever you were interested in. That's why fan clubs and fanzines were so important... and still the scope was limited: I'm from Argentina it would've been impossible for me (or my mom and aunts, since they were the right age at the time) to be in touch with anybody in USA/UK that followed Jim Henson's, Bowie's or even George Lucas' careers.

I don't know for how long movies run on theatres or how many copies were sent across the world, after all this wasn't a 100%-will-be-blockbuster like, I don't know, Batman 1989. So I'm pretty sure there weren't like 2 or 3 showings at the same time 3 or 4 times a day per theatre like it would happen for other movies. If you add the limited copies to a bland acceptance of those who did go to see it (so bad or non existent recomendation to others to go and see it) it does make sense -kind of- why it flopped. Do I agree? Hell no! Still its how things were.

The good thing is that at least it was on the '80s and there were enough copies to launch in VHS and later on DVD and Blu-ray... because there are many movies and/or TV shows that are gone forever either because there are no surviving copies or because the tapes were re-used to film something else.

what the fuck was wrong with people that Labyrinth was originally a flop. How could they take any aspect of it so for granted. How could they fucking do that to Jim Henson. Newspapers were calling it boring and even ugly. I want to go back in time and beat their asses.

[jerzwriter]

91 for Tobias/Casey

Book: Open Heart (End of Book 2-ish)

Pairing: Tobias Carrick x MC (Casey MacTavish)

Rating: Teen

Category: Fluff

Words: 628

Summary: Combining two asks from the list 101 Ways to Say I Love You “Are you sure you’re ready” and “you make me feel safe” for Tobias & Casey. As a new couple, Tobias & Casey wake up together, ready to greet the world in a brand new way.

Warnings: None

CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS

If you wish to be added or removed from tags, please let me know. Comments and reblogs are always appreciated. 😊

5:45 AM. That's when the offensive buzzing sound began. Tobias slapped the snooze button on his alarm clock the second it went off. Never a morning person, this was not his favorite part of the day. Yet, the moment he felt her squirming beside him, a smile appeared on his lips, and it only grew brighter as she curled up into him, burrowing her head into the crook of his neck.

He could hear the smile in her voice when she groggily muttered, “Good morning.”

No alarm clock could ever rouse him more quickly. “Good morning to you, Princess," he happily replied, kissing the crown of her head. “I’m still not used to you being here.”

“Well, I hope I’m a pleasant surprise and not an unwelcome one.”

“Oh,” he grinned, squeezing her closer in his arms, “trust me, it’s the best surprise.” He rolled onto his side and brushed the hair out of her eyes to see them more clearly. “You know, after thirty-six years of believing this would never happen… it took someone pretty incredible to make me realize this is the one thing I want most in this world. But only with you.”

“You make me feel so special,” she beamed.

“Good, because that's exactly what I want to do."

Casey rolled over and grimaced at the clock. "As much as I want to stay in bed with you, we should start getting up.”

“Normally, I’d say, unfortunately, but not today.”

“Oh,” she said, rising with the covers wrapped around her, “and why is that?”

“Have you forgotten? Today is Harper’s Birthday luncheon, and you said you're bringing me as your plus one. The cat will officially be out of the bag.”

“That’s right!”

“Are you sure you’re ready?" He asked. "You’re worth waiting for, kid if you want more time….”

“I absolutely do not want more time. I don't think our being together is going to come as a shock to most, but I’m ready to shout it from the rooftops. I love you, Tobias, and I want the whole world to know I am yours, and you are mine.”

“Mmm, that’s what I like to hear.” He leaned over and pulled her into a lingering kiss, leaving her giggling on her side.

“Keep that up, and we’ll never leave this bed.”

“Well, as much as I’m looking forward to today, that still doesn’t sound like the worst idea.”

Casey stepped into her slippers and wrapped her robe around her as she stepped out of bed. “Hey, what about you?”

“Me?" He asked. "What about me?”

“You’ve been the definition of a confirmed bachelor for… essentially your whole life now.”

“Affirmative," he chuckled.

“So, are you sure you're OK with this? I may not be the queen of relationships, but I've been in enough to know that there is a difference once you share it with the world. Are you sure you’re ready?”

He sat on the edge of the bed in silent reflection. “You know, there have been times in my life when the thought of doing something like this would have scared the hell out of me. But not with you. You make me feel safe, Casey. Like no one else ever has. No family, no friend, no lover. You’re it. You’re my world, and I can’t wait to let everyone know it.”

“Then let’s do it,” she beamed, “let’s get out there and tell everyone that the Tobias Carrick is off the market.”

“And he’s taking you with him," he smiled. "I love you, Casey MacTavish.”

“And I love you. Now, why don’t we start this day by showering together?”

The salacious grin spreading on his face answered that question for him. “You know, you really are the perfect woman for me.”

Taking him by the hand, Casey tugged him to the bathroom door with a giggle. “I know! Now, let's get going!"

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@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

[luvdsc]

mark lee sucks at technology.

tap the heart if you have a big, fat, embarrassing crush on your best friend!

pairing :: lee mark x reader genre :: fluff / best friend + social influencer au word count :: 5,883 words warnings :: none playlist :: dumb stuff (lany) ⋆ feeling (coin) ⋆ so far so good (gabrielle aplin) ⋆ electric love (børns) ⋆ love by mistake (bad suns) author’s note :: i was debating if i should post it on his bday instead, but i decided to drop it earlier, so uh, happy (approx. one week early) bday to mister absolutely fully capable (except when it comes to tech stuff) !!!! thank you for blessing us with your god tier raps ♡ ↳ part of the not clickbait series.

In your required upper division business course aptly titled “Essential Marketing Strategies,” you had learned about a concept called personal brands. A personal brand is explained as the first impression a person wishes to perceive based on their own experiences, qualifications, and achievements. Your professor had told you and your classmates to pick three words to define your own brand. For instance, you chose to label yourself as charismatic, fun, and creative.

Your best friend’s brand would be awkward, endearing, and technologically challenged. 

Okay, so that is definitely more than three words, but who’s counting? You might as well tack on “Y/N’s big fat crush” at this rate because everyone and their mother knows that you carry a torch—or more accurately, a blazing wildfire that can easily be spotted from Pluto—for your best friend.

Well, to be more precise, you should probably say everyone, except Mark, knows. And that’s not for lack of trying either. You completely dropped the art of delicate subtlety months ago already. Maybe you should add “hopelessly oblivious” instead.

The rolling end credits to the sixth Harry Potter film are playing on the screen in front of you, signaling the nearing end of your magical movie marathon. You’re seated on the worn down couch in Mark and Donghyuck’s shared apartment, watching the former make his drink with the fancy, gently used Keurig newly settled on the scratched countertop. Johnny dropped it off a few days ago because he had splurged on a better coffee machine (“It even makes Instagram worthy whipped frappuccinos!”) and didn’t want his old, but still perfectly functioning caffeine provider going to waste.

“What’s wrong with this thing?” Mark slaps the side of the machine, and it starts to emit a low whirring noise. “Oh, that’s good, right? That sound is good, you think?”

His question is immediately answered by the sad squirt of hot water speckled with coffee grinds falling into his mug for a few seconds before the machine shuts off.

“What the hell?” he mutters angrily, carding his hand through his hair in frustration, and you finally decide to take pity on your best friend. Getting up from the comfy spot you know you sadly won’t be able to recreate perfectly again later, you stride over to where your best friend stands and flip open the top of the Keurig.

“Hyuck didn’t take out his used coffee pod,” you say, pulling out the incriminating evidence of your best friend’s roommate and disposing it in the trash can next to the refrigerator. “Where’s the espresso one you’re gonna use? Why didn’t you put that in?”

His jaw slackens, and he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck, avoiding your gaze and mumbling, “I thought I’d just open it later and pour it into my hot water.”

“Mark,” you start, placing your hands on his shoulders firmly and staring into his eyes with a serious look on your face. “Please know that I’m saying this in the most loving way possible, but you are an absolute idiot.”

You release your grip on his shoulders and grab the espresso pod dangling from his fingertips before slotting it into the Keurig. You remove the mug he placed underneath the spout and wash out the accidental coffee water before placing it back in its original position and pressing the start button on the machine. With a sigh, you lean against the side of the counter, glancing at your friend who looks like a child being scolded for stealing from the cookie jar.

“If you pour the pod into your mug, are you just going to chug all the loose coffee grinds, too?”

“... I didn’t think that far ahead.” His lips start to unintentionally form a tiny pout, and your eyes (and your heart, too) soften.

You’re very relieved that Donghyuck is off filming with your friend because he definitely would be making fun of your heart eyes that frequently make an appearance around a certain Mark Lee. Which you always deny. Because you certainly do not have a gigantic crush on your technologically inept best friend.

You glance over at him again and have to physically fight yourself to resist the urge to kiss his cute pout away. Okay, so maybe you harbor a very respectable, medium sized crush. But it's no big deal. It’s completely under control. Unless you’re counting the fact that your best friend is still unaware, and you’re running out of ideas to try and see if he likes you back before you actually shoot your shot. Then it’s very much not under control because you’re losing sleep over it and you don’t know what to do to be any more obvious without stating the, well, obvious.

“Well, now you know. If you forget, you can FaceTime me and I’ll give you instructions on how it works.” You pat his shoulder reassuringly before pausing. “Wait, you do know how to FaceTime, right?”

“Yes!” he exclaims, sulking even more before confessing in a quieter, defeated tone, “Hyuck showed me last month.”

Mark grabs his finished drink and follows behind you, settling back onto the couch next to you. The streaming service already has Deathly Hallows Part 1 in the queue and ready to go, and your best friend is ready to click play until he notices your attention being focused on the smaller screen in your hands. He wonders if you’re about to post another one of your popular cooking videos on that app that shares a name with the most iconic song of the 2000s (hint: the name of the song’s singer is made up of four letters and a dollar sign).

“Are you uploading one of your videos?” he implores before taking a sip of his drink with a satisfied smile. Somehow, it always tastes better when you make it, and he can’t figure out why for the life of him. When he went to Johnny’s place, his older friend uses the exact same pod and water ratio for his espresso, and yet, it’s never as good as yours.

“Nah, I’m ordering my grocery delivery before I forget. Do you want anything?” You select the option to load your usual grocery items into your cart before debating on whether or not you should splurge on buying several packages of those seasonal Pillsbury sugar cookies that only come in stock during certain holidays. It seems like such an insult to the entire premise of your Tiktok account based on baking and cooking, but you’re an absolute sucker for those soft pastries.

“Yeah, can you get me a Shin Ramyun ten pack? Hyuck ate the last one two days ago and didn’t tell me.”

“You sure you don’t want ten boxes again?” You decide to get those Pillsbury sugary delights, happily adding three boxes to your cart. Everybody has a weakness, and yours just so happens to be a premade one way ticket to diabetes. You’re here for a good, delicious time, not a long time.

“No! That was an accident!” He objects, flailing his hands around, before falling back against the couch cushions in defeat. “But Hyuck does all the online grocery shopping now.”

“Thank god. You guys finally have quality toilet paper again.”

The past month of bathroom occurrences was plagued with scratchy tissue that felt more like goddamn sandpaper from the horrible depths of hell. To be honest, you probably would have rather used actual sandpaper, given the choice. You even made sure not to drink too much water any time you came over, but today, you decided to splurge on a venti passion fruit iced tea with sweetener from that very popular franchise sporting a mermaid logo and fiscally cosmic name. To your pleasant surprise, your trip to the toilet this time was wonderfully padded with Charmin Ultra Soft, not that absolutely awful off brand one with the gross texture of a dried pinecone from inferno.

“Hey, that toilet paper was a good steal! It was a three for one deal,” Mark protests, and you narrow your eyes at him.

“Wow, I wonder why it was priced so low.” You deadpan, and Mark blanches, recalling all those restroom incidents that were rather rough. Literally.

“Anyway, do you think my viewers wanna see me make chocolate crinkle cookies or mochi doughnuts?” You bring up the two recipes you managed to perfect and add your own spin to on your phone, eyes scanning the ingredient lists.

“Both. And tell me when you’re making them, so I can come over and eat them.” He gives you a wide grin, and you let out a snort at that. His smile only grows as he says happily, “I love your job.”

“You only love it because you can freeload off of me,” you jest, but nevertheless begin to start to add all the ingredients for both recipes to your shopping cart. You always film cooking videos on Tuesdays, edit on Wednesdays, keep Thursdays free for last minute touch ups and emergencies, and post one every week on Fridays with other various random videos uploaded whenever in between. With that in mind, you schedule your upcoming grocery delivery for Monday.

“Hey, you need me. I’m the best taste tester.” He puffs up his chest proudly before hastily tacking on a more genuine reason. “And because I’d starve without you. I can’t live off of instant ramen and frozen chicken nuggets forever. Gordon Ramsay already confirmed my shitty cooking skills. I need you to survive.”

“Oh my god, when I uploaded those pics of your scrambled eggs on Twitter, I lost like a hundred followers in less than a minute.” You confirm the delivery and place your phone on the coffee table, picking up the opened bag of Cheeto puffs before settling back in your seat. “My cooking credibility was completely shot. I had to explain to my fans that I didn’t make those.”

“Yeah, but now everyone calls me Eggy Boi online!” he whines, and you laugh. You have to admit, it’s quite a funny play on the whole “edgy boi” terminology. You wonder if Mark will find it amusing if he discovers his roommate is the culprit behind his new online persona (He probably won’t, and you reckon Donghyuck enjoys living in a safe space where he doesn’t have to sleep with one eye open, so you stay quiet about it. You’ll use it as leverage some other time).

“Okay, Eggy Boi, come by on Tuesday because I’ll be baking in the afternoon,” you say casually, grabbing the remote control from your best friend and pressing play. 

You very narrowly avoid a green gummy bear to the face. It lands somewhere behind the couch, lost forever to the dust bunnies and other snacks that missed its target. You know for a fact that it’ll stay there until the boys decide to move to a new apartment. Mark grumbles at the miss, biting off the head of a red cherry flavored gummy bear perhaps a little harder than necessary.

“I hate you. But I’m still coming over next week because I want a doughnut.”

“No cookie?”

“... and a cookie. Maybe two.”

Wednesday comes faster than you expected, and you’re currently holed up in your apartment’s second bedroom—which you had transformed into a snazzy office space—completing the edits to your second video on mochi doughnuts. You already finished polishing the one about the cookies earlier, thank goodness. If you had to stare at your computer screen for another three hours, you would rather eat those pastries Mark tried to make two months ago, but had mistaken salt for sugar. Adding a cup of salt to any baked good is an extremely effective way to make anyone who tasted your best friend’s brownies experience a trip to the beach. Because they essentially just swallowed a mouthful of sand and ocean water. Because it’s salty as heck. Just like Mark was when you told him.

Speaking of your best friend, he’s currently puttering around in your kitchen doing god knows what. He knows better than to try another recipe and possibly blow up your number one moneymaker—your prized oven—in the process. Your heart nearly drops when your ears pick up the faint chopping sounds of a knife against your wooden cutting board. Is he going to try to temper chocolate again? He nearly burned through your entire stock of dark, milk, and white chocolate last time.

After much contemplation and deciding that you deserve a good procrastination break and a fully intact kitchen, you’re about to go out and see what he’s up to when Mark timidly appears in your doorway, clutching onto a white bowl of watermelon cubes with a fork tucked neatly in it. He shuffles in, dropping the snack on your desk before turning to walk out without a word, not wanting to disturb your work mode. 

Your heart warms up at the sight, and you speak up, a small smile slipping into your face. “What’s this for?”

“Knowing you, you probably haven’t eaten anything since breakfast.” He pauses in the doorway and adds on sheepishly, “And I can't cook anything, so this is what you get.”

Your heart swells tenfold, and your smile widens even more as you spear a piece of fruit with the fork and quickly pop it into your mouth. “Thanks, Marky.”

His cheeks flush with a pretty shade of carmine, and he fails to suppress the little giddy smile that appears on his face at your nickname for him. He walks out of your office, reddened cheeks still rising up higher than ever. “Y-Yeah, of course. No problem.”

By the time you finish adding the final few touches to your edited video, the bowl of watermelon has been picked clean. You save your video and transfer both of your completed projects to your phone, making a mental note to schedule their uploads and add them to your account’s posting queue later. Shoving your phone in the pocket of your sweats after ensuring the successful transfer of your videos, you pick up the empty dish and walk out towards the kitchen, the silver fork clinking against the side of the bowl with every step.

As you wash the dish and utensil, Mark wanders over from his spot on the couch, leaning forward and casually placing his chin on your shoulder. Almost instantaneously, you feel the heat rising to your cheeks as you briefly fantasize about your best friend wrapping his arms around your waist and how domestic and sweet the two of you would look, like one of those cheesy couples the two of you always made fun of.

“What’s up?” you ask, making a conscious effort to hold your voice steady and not waver over the fact that Mark is basically draped over you. After you place the dish on the drying rack, you turn around to face your best friend, sorely miscalculating the distance as mere inches separate your face from his now.

“I—” Puberty decides to make an ugly appearance in the form of an ill timed voice crack, and he internally curses as he takes a step back, willing the incoming blush to go away. Letting out a small cough, he tries again, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

“I, um, Jisung sent me some kind of dance video. He said it’s a challenge? I kinda don’t know what to do with it? Like do I make a new dance, record myself, and send it back? Actually, isn't it easier to just do a dance battle face to face?”

“Can I see the video?” You already have a good idea on what the video will be, but you want to confirm it. Mark fumbles with his phone, pulling up the video in his text messages. He angles the phone towards you for you to see, and you grab his hand, bringing the device a little closer to you for a better look and clicking play.

“Oh, it’s a Tiktok challenge! He’s doing the Say So dance!” you exclaim, recognizing the song almost immediately as your eyes follow the fluid dance moves, completely enthralled. “So a challenge isn’t going up against someone, like a battle. It’s just some kind of trend or concept that you try to copy yourself. You’re supposed to learn the same dance and record yourself for this one. I can show you some other challenges and help you practice and record this one tomorrow if you wanna drop by after work!”

“O-Oh, okay, sounds good.” Mark stumbles over his words, attempting to focus on what you’re saying and the dance Jisung is doing, but all he can think about is the way your body is pressed against his side, hand comfortably wrapped around his. He freezes up as the tips of his ears grow redder and redder with every passing second, and his face sports a similar color. He silently prays for the telltale crimson to go away by the time the dance is over.

When the video ends, you once again realize the close proximity between you and your best friend. Your face burns at this revelation, and you awkwardly take a step back. Clearing your throat, you hastily release Mark’s hand (He inaudibly lets out the breath he’s been holding in this entire time, yet he also already misses the way your hand felt grasping his).

“Uh, anyway, I’m gonna make a latte. Do you want a drink, too?” You walk towards the other side of your kitchen with Mark trailing behind you. You take out a floral, peachy colored mug from your cupboards before pausing and looking at your best friend. “Wait, do you remember how to use a Keurig?”

“Yes!” He says, slightly exasperated as he picks out his own cup from your cabinet. He always uses the same one—a cerulean blue mug with squiggles all over it—and all of your friends and guests know not to use it because it’s unofficially officially Mark’s mug (And perhaps, you did indeed buy it from that overpriced kitschy tableware shop down the street two years ago with your best friend in mind).

“Really?” You select the latte option and press start after you had already positioned the mug beneath the spout and inserted a green tea matcha pod. He finally relents, shoulders sagging and a defeated expression on his face.

“... No.”

You chuckle, taking the mug from him and carefully putting it on the counter. You grab the espresso pod you know he likes from the drawer below and place it next to the cup. “It’s okay, I’ll teach you again.”

Mark tries. He really does. He tries very hard to concentrate on memorizing the simple process, but he keeps getting distracted. His eyes are focused on the correct button to push before they start to trail up to your fingertips. And then, they go from your hand to your arm, then up to the elegant curve of your neck, and finally, to the way your lashes frame your pretty eyes and how the tip of your tongue sticks out slightly as you concentrate until all he can focus on is you, you, you.

Suddenly, in what feels like a blink of an eye, you’re done and handing him his finished drink, complete with a perfectly whipped milk foam on top. You ask him if he knows how to make it now, and all he can do is lie and nod with a barely convincing smile.

After all, how can Mark tell his best friend that the reason he never remembers is because you’re the biggest distraction?

Mark should be here in five minutes, according to his most recent text message. And in the text message below that, your friend had sent you a challenge. More specifically, it’s the one she completed with Donghyuck a few weeks ago. When you said you wanted bold suggestions on how to figure out if your best friend feels the same way about you as you do about him, you didn’t want one this bold. 

Yet, the video link to your friend’s “today I kissed my best friend” challenge along with a winky face from her is staring mockingly at you. While you aren’t one to back down from a challenge, the mere thought of kissing your best friend causes vast colonies of butterflies to erupt in your stomach and your ears to feel as if they have caught on fire. You’re already tongue tied with your head in the clouds, and he isn’t even here yet. How utterly fantastic.

However, your mother definitely did not raise a quitter, so you spring into action when you hear the faint jingling of a key being inserted into your apartment’s door (You had given Mark a copy of your key almost immediately after you had moved in). You move the pretty indoor fern given to you by Jaemin as a housewarming gift last year closer to the edge of your towering bookcase, leaning your phone against it. You quickly position the device to capture a good view of the couch area in your living room and press the record button, arranging a few of the leaves to hide as much of your phone as you possibly can without obstructing the lens.

You run full speed to your bedroom, letting out a sigh of relief when you’re safely inside and hear Mark finally unlocking the door successfully and shuffling in. When he calls out to you, you try to even out your breathing, walking out of your room with your tripod and laptop in hand.

“Hey,” you greet him in the most casual tone you can muster. You place the tripod down and sit before opening your laptop and setting it on the coffee table. “I thought we could watch a few challenges for fun before trying the Say So one. Have you watched Jisung’s videos before?”

“Um, well, no, not really,” he confesses sheepishly, taking a seat next to you on the couch, leg pressing against yours. He squints at the YouTube video you pulled up earlier before he had arrived, reading the title before clicking the space button to start it. “Savage Tiktok dance compilation part two?”

“Wait, hold up.” You pause the video and then turn to face him with an incredulous expression on your face. “You’ve never watched any of Jisung’s dance Tiktoks?”

“No… I don’t even have an account.” His cheeks are dusted with the lightest shade of pink as he quietly admits, “I watch all of yours though.”

Your eyes widen at his confession, face heating up as you stammer out, “O-Oh, well, I can help you make an account later to upload your video.”

“Sounds good.” There’s a few seconds of silence as you mull over his previous words before he speaks up again awkwardly, “Should I, uh, play the video?”

“Oh! Yes, right! Of course, hit play,” you laugh nervously, twisting and playing with the hair tie around your wrist. He starts the video again, and the two of you watch the compilation, slowly relaxing once more as you tap your fingers to the rhythm of the song and he bobs his head to the beat.

“Do I have to change outfits like that?” he questions a few minutes later, eyes growing round as he sees the girl on the screen switch between four different outfits throughout the dance. His closet basically consists of the same five black shirts that he stole from Jaehyun. Even if he did do an outfit swap, there would literally be no difference at all.

“You don’t have to,” you assure him, clicking the enter key to play the next video that’s recommended: another Tiktok dance challenge compilation. “All you have to do is copy the dance.”

Mark nods, taking a glance at the laptop screen before his hand shoots out and he pauses the video, leaning forward to take a closer look at the little recommended video title banner at the top. “Wait! What’s that one?”

He clicks on it, the new video now loading up. The two of you wait patiently for it to begin, waiting for the spinning disc to stop. But it doesn’t. In fact, the whole chrome page goes blank and then, the little pixelated Google Chrome dinosaur pops up on your monitor, announcing that you have no internet connection. Furrowing your eyebrows, you try to reload the page before trying to re-establish your laptop connection to your wifi. Unfortunately, you cannot find your appropriately named “drop it like it’s hotspot” wifi anywhere to connect to.

And that’s when it hits you. Your landlord had sent out a notice to the entire apartment complex last week about the electricity being powered down today from 4 to 6 p.m. for a maintenance check, and a quick glance at the digital clock on your laptop shows that it’s a little past four.

You groan, closing your laptop and flopping back against the couch cushions dramatically. Mark cocks his head, slightly confused, before he pokes you in the arm. “What’s wrong?”

“I completely forgot about the scheduled electricity shutdown for the entire building. We won’t have any wifi for the next two hours.” You pout, your bottom lip jutting out in the slightest, and Mark doesn’t think it’s fair that you get to be this cute and have this much of an effect on his racing heart rate.

“That’s okay, we can… play some board games?” he suggests offhandedly, pushing away the embarrassing thought and nudging your leg with his, and you smile before a sudden idea occurs to you. 

“Or we can still do some Tiktok challenges! What was the challenge you clicked on?” You quickly sit upright, turning to face your best friend, eyes sparkling in excitement. “I memorized a few of the dance ones already! Was it Renegade? I can teach you that one. Jisung showed me how to do it.”

“Um,” he starts, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. His eyes dart everywhere, except you, as he lets out a feigned cough. “It wasn’t a dance one. It was about, uh, going up to your boyfriend… and um, hugging him... when he’s playing video games.”

“Oh.” You answer lamely, not knowing what to say. You unsuccessfully try to push away the image of you attempting that challenge with your best friend. “Those are really cute.”

“Really?” He says doubtfully, wrinkling his eyebrows and fiddling with the frayed sleeve of his sweater. “Wouldn’t the dude get mad?”

You don’t know what suddenly possessed you to do this (you’ll have to ask Renjun and his paranormal loving ass later), but you thank whatever demon did for that split second because you find yourself gently grabbing Mark’s arm and slipping your head underneath it. You swing one leg over his lap and settle down until you’re securely sitting in his lap, bent legs on either side of his hips, hands curled around the soft fabric of his sweater on both sides and resting on top of your thighs. His arms instinctively go around your waist, wrapping around you securely.

You tilt your head to the side slightly, studying the flustered boy in front of you with a teasing, albeit a little anxious, smile on your lips. “Are you feeling mad?”

Splotches of red litter his cheeks and decorate the tips of his ears, but your best friend furiously shakes his head at your question, bashfully ducking his head afterwards and muttering a soft “No.”

You swallow hard, heart pounding erratically in your chest as you timidly ask, “Would you be mad if I do this?”

Mark looks up at that, confusion written all over his face. His arms start to loosen around your figure, hands now resting on your waist. “If you do what?”

You take a deep breath. “This.”

You lean in and gently press your lips against his. Mark freezes in shock, and you quickly retreat soon after, gnawing at the inside of your cheek as you wait anxiously for his reaction. Your heart feels like it’s about to fall out of your chest and be buried six feet under.

A tiny noise of surprise belatedly escapes from him and crimson spreads across his cheeks like wildfire. His doe eyes are wide and sparkling, staring at you in bewilderment. Your best friend lets out a small laugh of disbelief before a full blown smile breaks out across his face. He gazes at you adoringly, breathing out softly, “I’m not mad at that.”

You perk up at that, draping your arms around his neck as you lean forward, beaming. “Really? You’re not?”

“Definitely not.”

This time, Mark meets you halfway, his lips slotting against yours perfectly and making you feel tingles up and down your spine. Your eyes are closed, and you are so hyper aware of the way his hands grip your hips, how he tugs you closer, and how his lips chase after yours. The number of butterflies from earlier multiply in your stomach, and you have ascended past cloud nine by now.

When the two of you break apart, your eyes flutter open, and you nudge your nose against his affectionately. The brightest grin blooms on his face once again, and he buries his face in the crook of your neck, muffling his little giggles and hiding the awfully vibrant cerise that rapidly blossoms on his face.

“Is this a good time to tell you congrats for completing your first challenge?” you say, resting your cheek against the crown of his head. You pull away when he lifts his head up, surprised.

“I wasn’t playing video games though,” he says slowly, processing your words and thinking back to the challenge that started this all.

“It was a different challenge. It’s the one that Hyuck did a few weeks ago,” you confess, and realization dawns on him, his face lighting up for a split second before a look of horror takes over.

“Oh, no. Is that why you had your phone recording on the bookshelf?” Mark asks, dread beginning to cloud his mind.

“Yes…” you say slowly, a little perplexed. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“Oh my god, I ruined your video,” he moans, dropping his forehead onto your shoulder. “I saw your phone when I walked in and thought you were filming earlier and forgot to turn it off, so I turned it off for you.”

When the words finally register in your mind, you can’t stop the laughter from bubbling out of your throat, and he raises his head up to look at you with wide doe eyes at the pretty sound. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to!”

You can’t stop laughing at the situation, and he looks at you worriedly, gnawing on his bottom lip slightly. You force yourself to calm down, a soft chuckle leaving your lips before you beam at him, leaning in and placing the softest kiss on the tip of his nose. “It’s okay, Mark. I’m not mad. That video wasn’t important anyway.”

“But still,” he whines before letting out a groan and slapping his hand against his forehead when the realization sinks in even further. “I’m such an idiot.”

“But you’re my idiot now, right?” you say teasingly, albeit a little shyly as well, as you reach over to tug his hand away from his face and lace your fingers with his.

“I mean, I kinda thought I was always your idiot,” Mark laughs softly and a little embarrassedly, eyes averted and cheeks turning pinker than ever. The largest grin spreads across your face at that, and you turn away slightly to hide it. You didn’t think your best friend can possibly be any more endearing, but he manages to prove you wrong every time.

“Well, then now you can add ‘Y/N’s boyfriend’ to your resume,” you say, and he fails to suppress the pleased smile appearing on his face at your remark, his rosy cheeks rising even taller than skyscrapers.

“So, uh, what sort of job description does that have?” He gazes at your intertwined hands in wonder, still completely giddy at the reality of you being his best friend and something more.

“Sharing hoodies, giving me attention, kissing, holding my hand, going on dates, you know, the basics,” you answer, squeezing his hand tenderly, and his doe eyes instantly light up. Mark feels a little bolder than before, and it shows when he grins widely and says:

“Can we do number three again?”

“Yes, we can, Eggy Boi.”

He wrinkles his nose at the name, disgruntled and unimpressed, as he crosses his arms over his chest, sulking. You let out a laugh before leaning in and crashing your lips against his. He immediately relents at that, enthusiastically responding and hugging you closer to him, and you can’t help but smile into the kiss as you feel his own smile appear as well.

At that moment, you decide that you want to change Mark’s personal brand. Because his should be “absolutely wonderful, positively amazing, a cute kisser, your boyfriend, and your bestest friend.” And yes, that is most definitely more than the allotted three words, but again, who’s really counting?

Certainly not you when you’re too preoccupied with kissing your best friend. Correction: best friend and new boyfriend.

One new notification: donutkillmyvibe uploaded a new video!

moominjun commented:

so you’re saying the reason why we didn’t get the highly anticipated best friend challenge video is because @ marklyrawr turned the camera off?

donutkillmyvibe replied: yes 😔 I’m sorry to disappoint everyone 🤧

nanaislove replied: omg no bby it’s ok 🥺🥺💞💓💓💝💗 you didn’t have to make an apology video for that 🥺💗💓💘💖

goofys.chuckle replied: yeah it’s mark’s fault. he’s the disappointment here 🥴

morklyrawr replied: hahahahaha stfu hyuck

tytrack commented:

mark is going through puberty. I apologize

dobunny replied: @.@

goofys.chuckle commented:

are we getting whip(ped)lash pt 2 by eggy boi?

morklyrawr replied: YOU’RE THE ONE WHO STARTED THAT NAME?????

goofys.chuckle replied: uh gotta blast 🚀

showmethemonet replied: @ goofys.chuckle does this mean you’re staying over again?

goofys.chuckle replied: @ showmethemonet yes if you want your super cute, mega talented, very handsome boyfriend to still be alive 🥺

showmethemonet replied: @ goofys.chuckle oh my god I didn’t know I was dating bts jin???

moominjun replied: LMFAOOOOO

goofys.chuckle replied: heart 💔 been broke 📉 so many times ⏰ i don’t know 🤔 what to believe 💯 mama 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 said 🗣 it’s my fault 😢 it’s my fault 🤦🏻‍♂️i wear my heart ❤️ on my sleeve 💪 i think it’s best 👍🏻 I put my heart ❤️ on ice 🧊

jenojam commented:

why am I not surprised……

itsmebetch replied: just mark thingz 🍉

suhprisemf commented:

mark your head looks flat af

jungjaeprince replied: 😂😂😂

10vely replied: @ jungjaeprince be quiet don’t cry

letswonwon commented:

whoop whoop

junguwu commented:

OMG CONGRATS ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP SWEETIE 😍😍

takoyaki_prince commented:

MARK!!!!! you look handsome !! 😘

jisungpwark commented:

rip to @ donutkillmyvibe ’s future videos that mark will ruin. press f in the chat to pay respects 🙏🏻

bigheadking replied: F ✊🏻😔

peachyangel replied: f 🥺🥺

yoitslucas replied: F 🤪🤪🤪 but glad you’re happy, man ❤️

donutkillmyvibe replied: F 💔

morklyrawr replied: @ donutkillmyvibe wtf babe????

officialgordonramsay commented:

didn’t i tell you to get back on tinder ?

apado_god commented:

nice 😎👍🏻

[angrelysimpping]

Alex's steadfast support of PC's decision of refusing to be extorted by Bailey even while knowing that would make defending the farm more difficult really got me thinking: if PC moved out to live w/ Avery or Eden, or moved into an apartment w/ Kylar, Whitney, or Robin, what methods Bailey would use to harass the LIs & their unrelenting PC? And how each LI would handle the situation? (Absolutely feel free to add & remove any character, or adjust/change elements of this request for any reason!)

Thought these two went well together.

Alex

When you first tell Alex about the shit going on at the orphanage, they don't know how to help you.

They could offer you a spare bed, but the farm might still go under. What would happen to you if you had to go back to the orphanage after moving out? Nothing good, they bet.

It's only when they start to break even on the farm that they feel like they can offer you a bed in their cottage.

We know the rest.

Avery

They don't care what it's like at the orphanage. Actually, Avery kind of likes that you have to pay Bailey, keeps you dependent on them.

I could see Avery leaving it to you to deal with yourself, up until it starts affecting them.

Bailey has a lot of connections. It would be easy for Bailey to spread a few rumors, to make climbing the social ladder even more difficult.

Then, Avery is pissed.

They're on your back, demanding that this problem gets dealt with.

If you want Avery to help, to give you money, then you better earn it.

Eden

Eden knows what's going on in the orphanage. They can buy you themself, after all.

At first, they don't mind. It keeps you dependent on them, keeps you coming back to the cabin.

It's when you try to sneak into the orphanage and grab some of your things that Eden’s opinion changes.

Bailey had cornered you, demanded their payment, and taken you away when you couldn't pay up.

Now Eden is breaking you out of a farm, rubbing ointment on you to get rid of a cattle brand, and they're fuming.

They don't want you paying Bailey. If you decide to, fine, but Eden is not happy about it.

Bailey isn't going out into the woods themself, not even to collect money. They know Eden has a gun, they're not going to risk getting shot at. If they send someone to collect from the cabin, they might send Robin. You wouldn't hurt Robin, would you?

Or they could wait for you to show up in town. You have to come into town eventually.

Bailey might try to launch attacks on Eden's cabin, similar to the attacks on the farm. Sending people to abduct you and take you to a buyer, damage stuff around the cabin.

Bailey could also make it so people go looking for Eden. Eden living in the woods probably isn't legal. Bailey has the police in their pocket. They could make it difficult for Eden to come into town. Make it so police conduct raids in the woods to find the hermit. People go missing in the woods all the time, who's to say it isn't Eden who takes those people?

Kylar

Why didn't you tell Kylar about this sooner?!

Any money Kylar can get their tiny hands on, they're giving it to you. What? They need that money to buy food for themself? They're fine! They've already eaten!

(They haven't)

Kylar isn't above stealing money for arcade games. What do you think they would do if they knew you had to pay Bailey or get sold off? They're small and quiet. They're already stealing chemicals to make pepper spray. They're more than willing to sneak into a few houses. Maybe grab some chemicals they normally wouldn't, sell them on the black market.

They have to admit, they like how it makes you depend on them. Even if you're just using them for money, Kylar doesn't care. As long as you keep coming back to them.

Kylar helps you sneak all of your things out of the orphanage. Bailey still finds you. You have a debt to pay, after all.

Kylar might try to tranq Bailey. I like to think that Bailey has been through so much shit, that they're paranoid to hell. They've built up immunities. Mostly to aphrodisiacs, but tranquilizers as well. It's good, in a town like this.

Kylar is standing by you, obviously.

Again, Bailey has their connections. They could have their people looking out for you around town, ready to grab you at a moment's notice.

Bailey's not above sending the police after you and Kylar. Kylar has been stealing chemicals. Bailey has the, totally not planted, proof.

They might have actual proof.

So pay up or come along to a buyer. You like the little creep, right? Wouldn't want them to end up in prison, would you?

You could fight off the police Bailey sends after you for +++Crime.

Alternatively, you could bribe the police with your body for +++Jealousy.

Robin

Oh, Robin is well aware.

Moving out wouldn't change much from just living in the orphanage.

Bailey might charge you for the privilege of moving out together while still in debt to them.

Robin is sticking with you no matter what you decide, but they're also scared shitless.

Even if you're no longer living in the orphanage, you still owe Bailey. Shows up at your door, demanding money. No? To a buyer it is.

You can still fight Bailey off, but how secure do you feel in your home? How good are the locks on the doors? Bailey knows people who could take you from your bed with minimal fuss. Take you for a little trip. And Robin is right there. It would be rude not to invite them along.

Whitney

Not their problem. Hell, they're willing to sell you themself. How much do you make with your holes? Fuck, Whitney's been selling you at a loss!

Oh, this could go a few ways:

1) Whitney lets you decide and backs you up. High love/low dominance? Least likely to happen.

Whitney's friends help. They'll stop Bailey's people from grabbing you off the street.

Bailey's people aren't afraid of a few punks. Some of Whitney's friends start getting hurt. They start complaining. They're risking serious injury and getting nothing out of it. It puts a lot of pressure on the friend group.

2) Whitney 'rents' you from Bailey.

Bailey lets you move out of the orphanage, but ups the payments for the privilege to leave while still in debt. You still make payments to Bailey, but you can't get out of them. Whitney is on your back to make the payments.

Whitney doesn't care how you make the money. If you want to sell your body, they're fine with that. They'll help, sort of. Makes sure no one does anything they shouldn't when you agree to step into an alley with them.

3) Whitney 'stealing' you from Bailey.

A lot like 1, but Whitney's not giving you the choice. You're their slut, they don't like Bailey selling you off. Only Whitney can do that.

You have to sneak away from Whitney if you want to make a payment to keep Bailey from retaliating.

Bailey has enough connections to have the police breaking down your door and dragging both of you away. Whitney is a known troublemaker, after all.

You could fight off the police for +++Crime.

You could bribe the police with your body. I'm not sure if that would turn Whitney on or piss them off. Probably both.

If the police return you to Bailey, they would like to send you both to the farm or Brothel. Too bad Whitney isn't Bailey's 'property,' like you are. You get to go on a nice trip, since you want to be out of the orphanage so bad. The delinquent can get sent to the pillory. Or prison. Whatever, Bailey doesn't care.

4) Whitney flat out buys you from Bailey

Takes a long fucking time. Even if Whitney's family has money, Whitney themself is fucking broke. They scrape up the funds by stealing, mostly.

A weird mentor/apprentice relationship forms between Bailey and Whitney. You, probably, don't want that.

[romanianwilkinson]

MONSTER CAMP QUOTES STARTERS

A collection of sentence starters from the game Monster Camp. Feel free to change words and pronouns as desired. CONTENT WARNING(S) FOR: Monster Prom/Monster Camp spoilers, suggestive, cursing, crude content

“ I just have it here because [NAME] insisted that I offer it, as a marketing stunt. ”

“ And lastly, super-horny-type players no longer get a charm buff against tsundere types! ”

“ War machines don’t turn me on or anything! ”

“ I don’t wanna be weird, but do you mind if I climb inside of you and play around with your main turret? ”

“ A wine to DIE for, you say? Well, darling, don’t threaten me with a good time! ”

“ This one just says ‘ hmu with that reaper dick, daddy ’. ”

“ You on your phone, as always! Probably making blogposts on your Tik Tok page. ”

“ Yeah, you really don’t want to witness a repeat of the last time [NAME]’s diehard fans went without a selfie for fifteen minutes. My tailbone still hasn’t completely healed. ”

“ Now hold still, this will only hurt for a moment --- ”

“ Yay! You found a shenanigan! ”

“ My poems all have two or three emotions in them, AT LEAST. ”

“ CRYING IS OBVIOUSLY A COMPETITION TO SEE WHO CAN SQUEEZE THE MOST WATER OUT OF THEIR EYES! ”

“ No way, really? The way to WIN at poetry is by LOSING at life? ”

“ I dunno, maybe fall in love with someone who’s married and develop an opioid addiction? ”

“ HELL YEAH, SPEEDRUN! ”

“ It’s morbid, but... kind of romantic? ”

“ GASP! Google+? Are you kidding me? The psychopaths behind that global tragedy are here?! ”

“ Prison has changed me, [NAME]. Would you like to trade me some cigarettes in exchange for my fundamental dignity? ”

“ Undermining the laws of reality, subverting life and death, that’s the kind of stuff my followers expect. But CHEATING? No way. ”

“ Though we are imprisoned in chalk jail, we are free in our hearts. But our hearts are also imprisoned in chalk jail. ”

“ Um, no, I am NOT groveling. I am posing a dignified query to [NAME] that just so happens to be performed on my hands and knees. ”

“ I didn’t know you condoned playing the friend card to get free labor, [NAME]. ”

“ Ah, but saving the world doesn’t put avocado toast on the table. We indie seancers and necromancers need to pay our rent too, you know. ”

“ And as you know, I am illustriously Internet-famous, so if you could shower me with adoration and give me the pizza that would be fabulous. ”

“ Do you wanna fuck the pizza or not? ”

“ Are you ready to go swimming? I must admit, darling, I’ve always wondered what you would look like while... wet.”

“ Did you turn this date into an orgy without consulting me? ”

“ Gosh, I love it when you insult me! Please do it more! ”

“ Now who wants to make a baby? ”

“ What if she puts a curse on me that makes me magically forget the location of the clitoris?! ”

“ Hey, don’t knock wacky decisions that endanger us all! That’s how I always manage to stay a step ahead of my nemeses! ”

“ Oh gods, I’ve killed so many monsters, just for being monsters. This is making me question my entire moral foundation. I NEED MORE THERAPY. ”

“ I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again: fish give better pedicures than people! ”

“ You’re not tricking me into parenting a stupid egg. I’ve never fucked even ONE chicken! The egg is not my son! ”

��� You came to visit me at camp, Daddy! ”

“ Don’t be ridiculous, I know your brand of horny, [NAME], and this ain’t it. ”

“ I thought we both agreed to be nothing but vague and haughtily aloof about our past dalliances. ”

“ Point EAST, compass! EAAAAAAAAST! You dumb fuckboot!!!! POINT! EAST! ”

“ One time I was told a soul’s worst fear was bugs and I inadvertantly sent The Beatles. It happens to the best of us... And the worst of us. ”

“ SOMEDAY I SHALL DEFEAT YOUR FIVE STRANGE FEET! ”

“ Why do you keep suppressing your monster half? Embrace your true nature! ”

“ Wow. I didn't think this was possible, but I guess I was... wrong? About social media? Oh dear God, is this how grandparents feel?!?! Am I a GRANDPARENT?! ”

“ I don’t know! I was relying on my friends to cover up my bold and idiotic statement! ”

“ ... I ate the oars. ”

“ PSYCHE. The ocean can eat my ass. ”

“ So pucker up, [NAME]! I'm about to declare mouth war on your FACE! ”

“ YOU FOOLISHLY FOOLISH FOOL! You're showing our inexperience! YOUR HONOR, THE ENTIRE LEGAL TEAM PLEADS THE FIFTH! ”

“ That's right. I'm talking about a classic Transylvania Hot Tub, a Seth Brundle, and a REVERSE Reverse Romanian Wilkinson. ”

“ Sorry, I was in your ribcage seeing if I could use it to cut strips of crepe paper into confetti and then I got lost in your kidneys. ”

“ There's nothing sexier than a doomed romance between a dating sim player and a hot fictional character. ”

“ That's right! I secretly replaced one of you with a bear while no one was looking, to teach you a valuable lesson about the art of disguise! ”

“ Enchant my armor. I’m going into the lake. ”

“ For VIOLENCE REASONS! ” 

“ This stupid lake monster called me short the other day, but I was too low level to crush him like he deserved. ”

“ That dumb wet dinkhole won't know what hit him! But it will be me! I will hit him! ”

“ No, YOU'RE a fuckshark! Also, what does that even mean?! ”

“ You seriously didn't notice the enormous needles those interns jabbed into your veins as soon as [NAME] got here? “

“ It all makes sense! The Camp Dome is just an elaborate ploy to distract us from the giant mouth that eats campers! “

“ This is the BEST show I've ever seen in my life, which is now at an end! “

“ Am I high, or did he just tell us EXACTLY how to foil his evil scheme? “

“ What, like a few severed heads and visions of my grandpa screaming in horrendous pain are gonna freak me out? Where I'm from, you can buy that stuff at IKEA. “

“ ERROR: Due to the sixth mass extinction, the slaying of leprechauns is inadvisable. “

“ Then why do I have half-finished scarves, decoupage, pot-holders, friendship bracelets, and a taxidermied rabbit in my skeleton? “

“ The wang elemental. ”

“ I also have an uncle who works at Nintendo as a copy machine! “

“ What flavor of ice cream AM I?! Now I gotta know. HA! You know what I should be? 'Pistachio.' Because my outside is HARD, but I'm full of NUT. “

“ I mean, life is a bit like... this sandwich! No, stay with me, I'm going somewhere good with this. “

“ A survival situation without any sexy fun time isn't worth surviving in the first place. “

“ Rut the RUCK?! ”

“ The ' ambulance of the heart ' is just a regular ambulance! Ambulances treat all organs! ”

“ Yeah, that's why I made sure that my so-called ' emotional armor ' was also ' actual armor '. “

“ And being yourself is the key to living your dreams, which is the key to self actualization, which is the key to being really good at sex! “

“ So hot I'd buy that even without free shipping. 10/10, call me some time. “

“ Hi, quick question: does it count as kidnapping if I'm abducting you so you can help me do a thing you already agreed to help with? “

“ I could be wrong, but are you just upset because you DON'T have a skeleton that's inside your body? “

“ I'm gonna get SO FUCKING RELAXED MY HEAD WILL EXPLODE! “

“ Whoah, whoa, hold up. You're fucking my grandma? “

“ No, [NAME], that is a popcorn bag full of more dynamite. Put it down. “

“ I hear that at least 70% of people on Patreon aren't murderers! “

“ If you want cash, just rob banks like the rest of us! “

“ Did it work? Do you feel any less horny? ”

“ FUCK YEAH, LET'S PUNCH THAT MOUTH IN ITS MOUTH! “

“ Yes... incidentally, we are no longer allowed to enter Italy. “

“ Is anyone else turned on right now? ”

“ Yes! Yes! I know what you're feeling! I suddenly see how marrying a corpse isn't okay! “

“ JUST LET ME IMPROVE YOUR SELF ESTEEM, MORTAL! “

“ Look, choose whatever you want, but I'm not responsible for whatever you put in your mouth. ”

[maddogofshimano]

Apology Ring: Rikiya Scratcher Event

A new Rikiya event! I was very excited about what nonsense this one would be and it did not disappoint. 

I couldn’t tell you why Kuze’s a reward, but I sure did get 6 of him, so I can’t complain. Let’s get started!

Summary: While Rikiya has come to adore Kiryu as his aniki, Haruka is still cold and distant towards him. In his desperation to win back her favor, he learns that Haruka’s after a prize from the scratcher event happening at the local grocery store, and is determined to win it for her no matter the cost

2008 Shimabukuro Rikiya had been charmed by Kiryu Kazuma, and his yearning to have him as his aniki has led to him often visiting Morning Glory.

Rikiya: Aniki! Let's go get drinks together! Standing by for your answer!

Kiryu: Rikiya...... I already gave you an answer earlier. I'm busy today. You should get back to work. <Kiryu walks away> Rikiya: W-Wait for me anikiiii~!

Rikiya: Haaa.... Alone again..... Though, that's just one of the things that makes him so cool. (Tl note: overwhelmingly tempted to use the "attractive/good looking/handsome" meanings on かっこいい instead of cool lol) Rikiya: ....Oh? Haruka: Ah..... Rikiya-san. Good afternoon. ...............Bye. <She leaves>

Rikiya: Ah, Haruka-chan.... Rikiya: She sure didn't look happy to see me... Guess she still hates me.

Rikiya: Well... I guess being hated by her can't be helped. She was real scared I was going to evict everyone in Morning Glory after all... Rikiya: Kiryu no aniki swore an oath of brotherhood though... So I can't just leave things like this. Rikiya: If I apologize from the bottom of my heart, maybe Haruka-chan will forgive me... Rikiya: .........Hn? Koji: I want to get Haruka a gift for always working so hard, but I can't think of a single thing to get her.... Koji: Have you thought of anything Taichi? Taichi: I got this! Isn't this rock pretty? I found it out on the beach! Koji: ....A rock, huh. Well, Haruka will still be thrilled to get it. Now what am I gonna do.... Taichi: What about the scratchers down at the shopping center? Koji: Scratchers? What's that? Taichi: Haruka said she wanted to the prize from them, and wouldn't doing scratchers be fun? Koji: No way. I don't trust that it won't be a total bust. Taichi: But think about how happy she'd be. Rikiya: ....Scratchers at the shopping center? Hmm, come to think of it I was supposed to go to the super market. Rikiya: ......If I can get that thing Haruka-chan wants, she might forgive me, so it's worth a shot. Rikiya: With a little bit of luck and money, let's take a gamble on scratchers! <He runs downtown> Manager: Hey welcome! Right now we're running a scratcher campaign~.

Manager: The top prize, a trip to Tokyo, has already been claimed, but we still have a ring from a brand that's very popular with women, a coffee maker, an electric razor, and a 100kg of rice among the fabulous prizes jostling around! You can't miss this opportunity! Rikiya: (.....The only thing he listed that a girl her age would want is that ring. That must be what Haruka-chan is after!) Rikiya: Sir! Give me a scratcher! Manager: Ah, Rikiya-kun. Ready to have some fun? One entry for every 1,000 yen you spend at the store! <scratching noises> Manager: Annnnd... no luck. For the bottom prize, here's your free pack of pocket tissues. Rikiya: Damn... Totally drained, huh. I really don't have any more cash to blow on scratchers. Manager: That's a shame, Rikiya-kun. I'll be here with the scratchers for a while longer if you change your mind and want to try again. Rikiya: ....Say, mister. I really just gotta get my hands on that ring. Is there any way we could make that happen? Rikiya: ....I beg you! Truly!! Manager: No, and the answer stays no no matter how many times you ask~. Manager: Right now the odds are stacked in the customer's favor with how many scratchers have been pulled, so good luck. Rikiya: ....Man, that's really how it is, huh. I getcha... Gimme a bit to scrape up some cash. <Rikiya leaves, makes a phonecall> Rikiya: ....I'm all out. Mikio's broke too. I guess I could try getting a loan.... hmmmmm.....

Rikiya: What am I gonna do... My plan to show my sincere apologies to Haruka with that ring is turning out to be a huge bust. Rikiya: I gotta get more cash to do pulls with... If only there was some way to do free pulls...... (Tl note: Rikiya is the prime target for gatcha games) <he moves on> Rikiya: ....I ended up walking all the way around Ryukyu without getting a single idea. What am I gonna do.... Hm? Blond Chinpira A: Hehehe, look at all these scratchers. I'm a almost afraid I'll get sick of doing scratchers from this.

Blond Chinpira B: Mhm~! Hey, did ya see that employee's face? He was so scared, it was hilarious! Hehehe. <they leave> Rikiya: ....What were those bastards up to? <Rikiya returns to the store> Rikiya: !? Manager: Uughh.... Rikiya: Hey, hey..... you're not looking good. All your merch has been scattered and all the shelves are all smashed up....

Rikiya: What the heck happened while I was gone? Manager: Ah, Rikiya-kun... The truth is.... some blond haired chinpira came and stole all the scratchers..... Rikiya: Blond haired chinpira...? You mean those assholes just a minute ago did this? Manager: When they found out the top prize had already been claimed... they flew into a rage and started smashing things.... Manager: They stole all the scratchers and remaining prizes and said "You better have that top prize restocked by the time we're back".... Rikiya: What the hell? Manager: I don't know if the police could do anything, and I have no idea how I could get another trip to Tokyo lined up..... Manager: Rikiya-kun, I'm sorry. I really did want you to have fun with this scratcher campaign... Manager: Haa... I started this up intending to give back to my regulars... but now it's going to end like this... I guess it can't be helped. Rikiya: ..........It's just like you to still be thinking about your customers. Even at a time like this they're the ones you're worried about.... Rikiya: ...Sir, I'm going to crush those assholes. I swear it. Manager: Eh? Rikiya: I can't stand cowardly civilians like that. ....So I'm gonna kick their asses. Rikiya: While I'm at it I'll get back all the scratchers and all the prizes and return them to you. Manager: R-Rikiya-kun.... but.... Rikiya: Don't worry about it. This is my job as a member of the Ryudo Family. My boss would yell at me if I turned a blind eye to this. Rikiya: So, I'm off! <Rikiya leaves> Manager: Rikiya-kun..... <EVENT START>

Blonde Chinpira A: Ughhh......

Rikiya: ......Hand over the scratchers and the prizes.

Blonde Chinpira A: W-Who the fuck are you....

Rikiya: Ryudo family captain, Shimabukuro Rikiya. Chinpira: R-....Ryudo Family!? Y-You're... a professional....... Rikiya: ......We good? I don't think ya want this again.

Rikiya: If I ever hear that you're causing problems for that shop again then I'm going to silence you myself!!!! Chinpira: I-I got it.... it won't happen again. <back at the store> Rikiya: There you are, manager. The scratchers and the prizes. With this, you should be able to continue your campaign, right? Manager: R-Rikiya-kun...... Rikiya: I really nailed those shitheads, so you shouldn't need to worry about them coming after you for revenge. Rikiya: Of course if they do show up, just give me a ring. I'll handle 'em for you. Any time you need. Manager: Th-Thank you Rikiya-kun.... What can I ever do to repay you...... Rikiya: Don't sweat it. This is just the job of a member of the Ryudo Family. <Rikiya begins walking away> Manager: Ah, Rikiya-kun! Rikiya: ......I'm up shit creek here. What about Haruka-chan's present....

Rikiya: What am I gonna do..... I'm outta cash......... I got it. I'm sure I got some pachinko balls tucked away.... ???: Rikiya-kun! <manager runs up> Rikiya: Manager? Manager: Ha... Ha.... This.... I wanted to give this to you. Rikiya: This is..... the ring that was one of the scratcher prizes!? Manager: Yep. You said you wanted it. So I figured to repay you somewhere... I'd like to give this to you. Rikiya: Manager..... But isn't this a real major prize? Manager: It's fine. Without you the scratcher campaign wouldn't have continued at all. Manager: Oh, are you turning this down? I know this doesn't remotely make up for everything you did, and I'm truly sorry. Rikiya: ....I ain't turning it down! Thank you, manager! Manager: Hehe, that makes me glad to hear. Well, I'm heading back to the store now. See ya. <Manager leaves> Rikiya: Hell yes... Now I can give this to Haruka-chan as an apology! Rikiya: Finally we'll be able to wrap this whole thing up and move past things with one big gesture! Rikiya: Wait for me! Haruka-chan! <Rikiya runs off> Rikiya: .......Pardon my intrusion.

Haruka: Ah...... Rikiya-san.

Rikiya: (....She's still so distant. Guess she still doesn't like me one bit....) Kiryu: What is it? Rikiya. I can't get drinks with you today. Rikiya: Nah, I'm actually here for Haruka-chan this time. Kiryu: To see Haruka? Rikiya: Yes... Um, Haruka-chan. I actually have something to give to you. Haruka: Something to give to... me? Rikiya: Here, this. It's some kind of ring from a famous brand. Haruka-chan, this was that thing you wanted, right? Haruka: Eh!?

Kiryu: A ring? What's this about Haruka?

Haruka: N-.... No. I, don't really like rings...

Rikiya: Right. As soon as I heard you wanted this I rushed out frantically to-........ Rikiya: .......Eh!!??

Rikiya: What do you mean, you don't really like rings...... But.... Isn't this the ring you said you wanted? Haruka: ...N-No. I don't remember ever saying I wanted that..... Rikiya: That's.... B-But, you wanted one of the prizes from the scratchers....... Haruka: Scratchers.....? Oh, of course.... Rikiya: Of course....? Haruka: I wanted the rice so that everyone could have it to eat. Is that what you were thinking of? Rikiya: R-Rice!!?? <flashback to the manager talking about all the prizes they had> Rikiya: The thing that Haruka-chan actually wanted..... was the 100kg of rice.......... Rikiya: I was so sure it was the ring.... Seriously, man......... Haruka: I-I'm so sorry. Kiryu: ....Say, Rikiya. What's with the sudden present? Haruka's birthday's still a ways off, right? Rikiya: .........I wanted to give it to Haruka-chan as an apology. Kiryu: ....Apology? Rikiya: Yes. When I came to Morning Glory and threatened to evict everyone, for kids that have nowhere else to go, wouldn't that have been terrifying? Rikiya: Since then, Haruka's hated me. But I wanted to earn Haruka's forgiveness... Rikiya: That's why.... I thought I could give her that ring as an earnest apology. Rikiya: But then I went and got her something she didn't even want, so instead of being happy she's bothered by it... I really am a fool, huh. (Tl note: we might not have gotten to hear Rikiya sing bakamitai but he did at least say the phrase here lol) Haruka: .....Rikiya-san. Even though I never said I wanted it..... I really am happy to get it. Rikiya: ....That's sweet of you to say, Haruka-chan. But you don't have to lie like that to me.... Haruka: No, it's true. Rikiya-san, you picked out that ring to give me because you thought it'd make me happy, right? Haruka: The fact that you were thinking about me like that and working so hard to make me happy, well, how could I not be! Rikiya: Haruka-chan.....

Haruka: Really though.... I don't hate you, okay? Rikiya: Eh? Haruka: I... think you're a good person, Rikiya-san. So I don't have a reason to dislike you. Rikiya: Wait, but... Earlier when you saw my mug you looked real upset and ran off immediately, didn't you? Haruka: That was... sorry... I think I was trying to hold in a sneeze. Rikiya: .......a sneeze? Haruka: Right. Honestly I was dealing with a cold earlier.... I didn't want to get you sick, so I was trying really hard not to sneeze..... Rikiya: --Which explains why you were keeping your distance..... What the hell. Have I just been totally overthinking this........ Kiryu: ...Heh, I'm glad for you Rikiya. Your worries were misplaced, and this is all settled now. Rikiya: A-Anikiii.... Haruka-chan's.... a good kid....... Rikiya: I horribly threaten her and she doesn't hate me...... I don't even get her the present she wants and she's still thrilled..... Rikiya: Even if it was my job to scare her.... She's... She's such a good kid, that Haruka-chan.... <Rikiya drops to the ground> Rikiya: I'M SO SO SORRYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

Haruka: R-Rikiya-san!? Kiryu: H-Hey. Rikiya, quit grovelling!

Rikiya kept his head bowed in apology for a long time, until Kiryu and Haruka were both troubled by the excessiveness.

<END EVENT>

Bonus stuff: 

I was so sure Haruka wanted to trip to Tokyo to give to Kiryu so that he could go visit. The rice was my second guess, but I was so ready for the emotional pain. Shout outs to @agentshilonglang​ for correctly guessing it though! 

This one wasn’t as long or a fraction as difficult to translate as the previous Rikiya board game event, but I am thrilled to have more Rikiya content. This card also has a new character story, and I pulled it so I’ll get that translated sometime soon-ish! I’m actually thinking of holding a poll on which story to do next when I hit 300 followers.

Finally this was the song that played on the main page of the event, tho they skipped the intro portion:

[lubdubsworld]

Better Man. ( Taehyung x Oc)

Rated 18 +

Post Divorce, Getting Back Together, Second chances, Angst. 

Chapter 1

Chapter 2  ~ Its okay to want something to end and also be sad that its ending. 

With infidelity, its never black and white. 

There’s different kinds of infidelity and you can’t ever say which is worse. That depends entirely on the people involved and the values they hold dear. What may be a small indiscretion to someone, may well be an unforgivable act of betrayal to someone else.

 And that’s fine. People aren’t one dimensional. We can’t all have the same perspective. 

So infidelity is also never one dimensional. 

Sometimes its a one night stand. Something done and forgotten. Discarded from the mind like the used condom in the motel room floor. 

Sometimes its a dear friend who betrays you, your best friend who apparently always had a thing for your husband and felt perfectly fine making a move on him. That one stings . Because you lose two people. Two very important people at the same time. 

Sometimes its a coworker, someone who stays by their side majority of the day. Who offers a sympathetic ear when your husband wants to relax.

Sometimes men just fall out of love and are too much of a coward to say it out loud, opting to cheat on you instead. 

Sometimes, they are jealous, of your career, of your kid, or your friends. Too lazy to win your affection they go find satisfaction in some one else’s bed. 

Sometimes it never even gets physical. Sometimes its just someone catfishing your husband or sending him nudes.

And sometimes, its an emotional connection. They actually fall deeply in love with someone else and I think, for most women, that would be the one that would sting the most. 

With Taehyung, it had been a night of drinking. He had had one drink too many, had tumbled into bed with some trainee a decade younger and had broken our marriage vows. 

Not really a very thought out or planned mistake. He hadn’t cheated with the intent to cheat. He had just been too drunk to know better. 

So, why did I leave him?

Because it hadn’t been about the cheating. 

It had been the drinking. 

When we first met, Taehyung couldn’t hold his liquor. Not that it mattered because he didn’t like it all that much. Didn’t mind sipping juice when other’s nursed beers. 

But as he grew older, as he grew more successful, he had started accepting drinks from producers and directors and fellow actors... Because, it was rude not to and Kim Taehyung was nothing if not the personification of politeness. 

 His tolerance hadn’t increased but his drinking had and that was a bad combo. 

:”You need to stop doing this Tae. You can’t just come home black out drunk, every time you have an after party.... You’re going to hurt yourself or god forbid someone else... some day and I’m not going to sit here and wait for you to wreck your entire life over a stupid drink....” 

It was a speech I had made way too many times. The words recycled and reframed, and rearranged to try and give them more  weight , to help him realize how  serious  the issue was. To help him understand that what he was risking, it wasn’t just his reputation. It was his entire career, his  life  if he somehow got behind a wheel someday. 

And Taehyung, who had won a bunch of Daesangs for his acting always convinced me that he understood what I was trying to say. That he understood the magnitude of my words and would heed them the next time. 

So really, what people didn’t understand was that....

That evening, when he stood in front of me and said that he slept with another woman because he got drunk out of his mind, it wasn’t the sleeping with the girl that had bothered me. ( at least not that much. it hurt of course but it wasn’t that strong. it stemmed more from a place of “why didn’t you just ask someone to drive you home, you idiot.”.. rather than, “ how dare you sleep with another woman?”  ) 

It was the got drunk out of my mind thing. 

That was what I ended my marriage over. 

That was it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The details were hashed out easily and I didn’t particularly protest or change anything. Taehyung suggested an equal division of assets and I quickly disagreed. I wasn’t exactly poor. I worked as the Head of Marketing in a successful conglomerate. I had no use for excessive amounts of money. After some debate we agreed on setting up a trust fund for Hoshi with the money. He could use it after he turned twenty five. 

And then came the next part. 

Compensation for physical / Mental Damage. 

I felt like i was spiraling. 

“None On my side. None.” Taehyung said quickly and I swallowed. 

Ms Lee gave me an encouraging smile. 

“You can be honest Mrs Kim. We’re trying to go for a clean break between the two of you without any resentment carrying over. So its best to be honest. If you feel you need recompense for any emotional distress or abuse Mr. Kim may have put you through, you’re free to tell me. I’ll make sure it goes into record.” 

And this was why I hated the idea of getting divorce. 

That entire dialogue had sounded so...so... terrible. So accusatory and ugly. It wasn’t at all the way I felt about my husband. 

It was just hurt. Plain and simple hurt because he didn’t take me seriously. Because he didn’t think my words were worth listening to. It was hurt laced with fear because he was putting himself in danger with his reckless actions and I wanted him to stop. That’s all it was. 

It was hurt. 

Taehyung had hurt me but it wasn’t emotional distress. It sure as hell hadn’t been abuse.

“None for me either.” I said firmly, honest . 

I glanced at my husband, trying to tell him that I wasn’t just saying it. That it was true. I really didn’t want him to pay me money for what had happened. 

But, Taehyung wouldn’t meet my eyes.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taehyung signed over full custody of Hoshi with a smile. 

“I trust you. “ He said quietly, penning his initials carefully on the document. 

I nodded, feeling a little like drowning.

 We had a very comfortable way of doing things as far as our son was concerned. Taehyung got Hoshi anytime he had time off and also on weekends. 

With a very shifting schedule it was hard for Taehyung to pin down exact dates so we had long decided we would make things easier for each other. He would call me a day or so in advance and i would drop him off at Taehyung’s penthouse or the company. Special days like birthdays were always celebrated in a neutral place with both parties attending. 

Hoshi loved it because it was a pleasant surprise for him, when his dad swooped in out of nowhere and took him off to amusement parks or arcades or swimming. He loved Taehyung . 

So the visitation rights were easy to sketch out. 

It was nothing new but to have it all put down on paper and initialed and notarized....it just felt invasive. Some judge somewhere would read all about how my marriage had crumbled to ashes and would pass judgment on me and that just felt odd. 

 Like airing your dirty laundry. Like letting strangers into your bedroom. 

And the worst part was this :   I felt myself getting upset , anytime Ms. Lee gave the slightest negative connotation to Taehyung’s actions or responsibilities. Anytime she tried to imply that he couldn’t be neglectful as  a father, I wanted to jump right up and defend him. To tell her that he was a better father than the ones who lived 24/7 with their kids and didn’t know a damn thing about them. 

That even as my husband,  he had been so good to me. Had treated me like his best friend, his confidante, his lover. Had never shied away from showing me how much he loved me. Had been the best husband in the whole entire world. 

And I hated myself for it. 

What was wrong with me? 

Why was  I still so fiercely protective of him, I wondered. I hated the idea of him being criticized by anyone for any of it.

 And it made feel like such a hypocrite because if he was so amazing, why on earth were we here??

Why on earth were we getting a divorce if Kim Taehyung was husband and father of the fucking Year?!! 

Was I making a mistake? Had I made a mistake? 

It confused me. These feelings that just refused to go away. I would never act on them because therein lay the path to misery but why were they still there? 

 This desperate clawing urge to make sure he came out of this whole debacle as a good guy. To make sure no one would brand him as a cheater . Because they would. When the divorce went public, they would dig things up and they would know. 

 I didn’t know how I’d gotten to this point where , I could somehow forget everything that was wrong, simply because I wanted to focus on what felt wrong....

Technically I should be happy. 

Taehyung did something unpardonable ( for me, at the time. Now I wasn’t so sure. Now I felt like I could forgive him for it but he hadn’t asked for forgiveness. What he’d asked for was a divorce.  ) and I left him. We were separated . And now finally we were getting a divorce. 

Divorce meant we could finally get out of this no man’s land of uncertainty where we had hung for two whole years and move on, from each other and finally give a label to where we stood. Exes. We were exes. We were done. It was over. 

Hadn’t I just yelled about him about how I liked labels? 

And yet, 

This entire divorce  felt so wrong. So unnecessary.

And in a moment of clarity, as I watched Ms Lee read he whole thing over again for our benefit, I realized why it felt wrong. 

It felt wrong because Taehyung was the one who wanted it. 

Why did Taehyung want it? What had made him want to end it, officially?

Was he seeing someone else? Was he considering seeing someone else? Did he want to start enjoying the single lifestyle again? 

Did he finally take a good long look at our marriage and found nothing worth salvaging anymore? 

My head ached. 

 I couldn’t wait for the whole thing to be over. And yet my heart broke at the thought of it. 

Ms Lee finally gathered up all the documents and gave us a wide smile.

“I wish every client I had was this reasonable. You two are a delight .” she shook her head. “ Should we get a drink to celebrate a day well spent?” 

I opened my mouth to accept when Taehyung said, “  Sure, but it would have to be a juice for me. I don’t drink.” 

I felt my heart take a swoop, nosediving to my knees. 

I stared at him, stunned speechless. 

“Haven’t had a drink in two years Mia. I’m done with that shit.” He said softly.

I swallowed. 

“I didn’t know that.” I felt miserable all of a sudden, the weight of what we had just done pressing down on my heart like a 200 pound stone, 

His gaze held mine.

“There’s a lot you don’t know.” 

We stood staring at each other in silence and Ms. Lee cleared her throat. 

“Uh... I just got a text from my next client. Maybe raincheck on the drinks? “

I nodded , watching her leave. Thank you i wanted to say, but for what?

 For ending my marriage of eight fucking years? 

And how ridiculous that very thought was. ..... She hadn’t ended our marriage,   I had. 

“I have the next two days off.” He said casually. 

“You can pick Hoshi up from my mom’s place. I need to head back to the office.” I muttered, choking a little on tears that had sprung out of nowhere. . 

“Hey.” his fingers closed over my wrists tugging me gently and I let myself get pulled into his arms. I hugged him, feeling my tears soak through the fabric of his shirt. 

“I’m sorry it has to be this way.” I choked out. 

He stroked the back of my head gently.

“Me too. “ He pressed a kiss to my hair and it only made me feel worse.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : Tae is 35, OC is 32