#Why John Doggett Is the Best

[bambi-kinos]

Sorry, could you elaborate on Peter Doggett's book a little more? It's the first time I've heard about it. What is the theory why John stayed in the Dakota? Thanks!

So, "Prisoner of Love" was supposed to be the next Big Beatles Book to come out. It has been written and for a while there were advanced reader companies being sold on Amazon India. Unfortunately I wasn't quick enough to buy it and it disappeared. But essentially "Prisoner of Love" was supposed to be Peter Doggett's investigation into John Lennon's years at the Dakota building when John had returned to Yoko/been blackmailed into returning. Doggett is an actual journalist with a genuine bibliography behind him and he does actual investigatory work that doesn't rely on manufacturing Frankenstein quotes to get his point across. He also wrote the legendary "You Never Give Me Your Money" which breaks down the financial woes of the Beatles into a digestible form so that we can understand the financial side of the break up.

Suffice to say the topic of John's stay in the Dakota, Yoko forcing him to stay addicted to drugs, and abusing him and Sean emotionally and psychologically, is a very serious and contentious subject. So much so that the Lennon Estate has most likely spiked the book and stopped it from being published, probably because it makes Yoko look like the monster she is.

I'll quote Hey Dullblog here:

In 2012, St. Martin’s Press contacted me via my semi-highfalutin’ agent in New York. “I loved your Barry Trotter books”—the ones that sold a million plus worldwide—“and have always wanted to work with you. There’s a project idea we have, are you interested?” Sure I was. They wanted me to do a parody of Downton Abbey, Julian Fellowes’ costume drama popular at the time and, as Kate and I were fans of the show, I readily agreed to write the parody. But before I did, I asked the $64,000 question: “Are all the higher-ups behind this book? Have you gotten a sense of what Julian Fellowes might think? Parodies often get sued—are you prepared for that?” Yes to all this, the editor said, and he and my agent began negotiating the deal, while I got down to the writing and designing of the parody. At great speed, of course, because it was July or something, and they wanted it for their fall list.

Six weeks later, I finished the project on deadline, and presented it to them for publication. I’d been showing my editor chapters as I’d written and designed them, and gotten much laughter and encouragement. All lights were green.

Until, one morning, they weren’t. Instead of paying me the agreed-upon $30,000 for a book which they’d asked me to write, and had approved of in-process—they suddenly offered me $5,000 “to put the manuscript in a drawer permanently.” All communication with me stopped; even my agent couldn’t get a straight answer as to what had happened. It was, of course, completely illegal to do what they had done, get me to write a book to order on spec with a false promise, but neither my well-respected New York agent, nor my $400/hour New York publishing lawyer would back me in a lawsuit. “Mike, I’d never be able to sell another book to them again,” said my agent; with so few publishing houses, backing me and the stink I planned to make would hinder his other clients, and spell career doom for him. And my lawyer, too, made all her money working with these companies. They both required good relations with the publishing houses, not with me, the guy who they nominally worked for.

So I Kickstarted the book, and said sayonara to book publishing for good. The contracts are terrible, there is no Union, and the structure of the business itself compromises an author’s representation. And the houses themselves—with all due respect to the many smart and ethical people who toil for them—are purest courtier culture, as bad in this regard as fashion or Hollywood. As large companies, book publishers are exquisitely sensitive to pressure; as individuals, most of them come from the best (read: most expensive) schools, and must come from significant money to be able to pursue such a poorly paid career in such an expensive city. And finally, since 1980 the book publishing business has not only really embraced the blockbuster model, they have increasingly looked to Hollywood for their ethics. And in Hollywood, fame and money rules. Star-power.

I think what happened was that some editor had a bright idea, contacted me, and got me writing. His higher-ups, such as they were paying attention at all, had no very clear idea what “a parody” would be, thinking that it was something sorta like an original, only funny. Then, when it came time to publish the manuscript—traditional literary parody, as I’d done with Barry Trotter—either someone inside the house thought Fellowes wouldn’t like it and pre-censored themselves, or Fellowes himself said he wouldn’t like it. “You publish this, and I won’t even let you bid on the Downton Abbey Calendar!”

I think something similar might’ve happened to Doggett’s book. I think someone asked him for ideas, post-You Never Give Me Your Money. He pitched the book to an editor, the editor bought it, Doggett wrote it, the project was ready for publication, and then the Estate read an advance copy and threatened a lawsuit. The publishing house, looking at sales of Doggett’s You Never Give Me Your Money, a fine and worthy book, calculated that any lawsuit—no matter how frivolous—would cost more than they were likely to make on the book. Or perhaps there is another Lennon- or Yoko-related book that they figure they’d make more money on. Or perhaps it was simply that someone high up enough in the company is friends with Yoko; bigtime publishing execs and people like the Lennons are likely to know each other, have houses near each other—New York wealth and culture is a small world. (Added later: apparently the publisher, Jawbone Press, is a London-based independent. I have little direct knowledge of UK publishing culture, save for my conversations with my UK editor. But in such cultural realms, in my experience the US and UK form one ecosystem.)

Whatever the details—and it’s unlikely that we’ll know any, because Doggett writes books for a living, and anybody in that racket has to keep certain aspects of this game to themselves (as I would, had I any interest in writing a book for a Big Six publisher ever again)—there is really only one reason a book gets pulled so close to its publication date, and that is a surprise communication from a powerful party that publication will result in legal action.

Of course the book was strongly vetted; of course all conventions (like paraphrasing) were employed; of course the copies of the Diaries were obtained legally; I’m sure there were no obvious holes. In fact, I would be highly surprised if the house did not contact the Lennon Estate the moment they considered accepting Doggett’s proposal—wouldn’t you? In no way was the project undertaken as something adversarial to a famous, generally well-thought of widow and feminist icon…who also happens to be a billionaire. That is not how book publishing—or America—works in 2022.

Did Yoko signal “go ahead” and then, after the book was completed and ready for sale, change her mind? I cannot say, but she did something similar with the Norman biography of her husband, which deeply wounded the sales profile of that book. (The authorized Lennon biography will sell better than another unauthorized one.) And there is another advantage: by waiting until the book was ready to go, the Estate inflicted maximum pain on both the house and the author, costing them maximum emotional discomfort and maximum money. This will chill the already-chilly waters for any future projects on John Lennon, save for ones done by Yoko or Sean. This is a wonderful advantage.

As depressing as this reading of events is for Beatles and Lennon fans, we must always realize that what is many people’s passion is some people’s business and a few people’s family legacy. While we might hunger for “the truth,” what we will get is what the Estate feels is its financial or emotional benefit.

The person I feel worst for is, of course, Peter Doggett, who added something of real value to Beatles literature with You Never Give Me Your Money, and would have been able to clarify so much about the last truly murky aspect of John Lennon’s story. Unlike Norman or the Sheffs, I generally trust Doggett to give us an even-handed account of what he examines, and with people like Goldman, Rosen, Seaman, and “John Green” as our main sources on the Dakota Years, Doggett’s book would’ve provided a real service. I suspect Doggett was paid to “put it in a drawer” and, for his sake, I hope it was enough money for him to feel whole—though given that the book seems to have had a distinctly personal cast to it, I suspect it took something major out of him to have the project pulled.

This, then, is the tragedy of the Estate’s behavior. By wishing to control the narrative, it is not just asserting that it owns John Lennon—which it does, in the narrow legal sense—but also what we can think of John Lennon. The most important “John Lennon,” certainly at this late date, is the man who lives on in the minds of his fans, before and after December 8, 1980. And by disallowing Doggett’s expression of that—regardless of what his book said or did not say about Yoko, Sean or anyone else—the Estate is engaging in a kind of erasure. Petty, vain, self-absorbed, and with no regard to who really should be driving the narrative today, 42 years after John’s murder—the fans who loved and love him.

My personal take is that Doggett did a careful analysis of John's diaries, did his interviews with Sean and Yoko (whatever state she was in), probably interviewed May Pang and Mick Jagger as well as everyone else who was in contact with John during his interim at the Dakota. And then Doggett wrote up the unifying theory of why John Lennon went back to Yoko and what kept him there.

I honestly don't have it in me right now to write up my personal theory about why John did it and why he stayed, I'll reblog this post with an addition if I ever do. But I think that Prisoner of Love was deeply embarrassing and actively harmful to the ballad of John and Yoko and someone on Yoko's legal team killed the book out of the pants shitting fear that Yoko and John's PR image would be permanently tarnished by it. Maybe even destroyed. Yoko was much more of a monster than I think we'll ever truly know if there's not a tell-all and John and Sean both suffered profoundly for it. There's no way that the Lennon Estate would allow Doggett to publish such an embarrassing and shocking book while Yoko is still alive.

Of course, once she finally kicks it then all bets are off.

[vampirewalterskinner]

Walter Skinner

Placed his life and job on the line for Scully and Mulder countless times throughout the series.

Refused to deny that Mulder was abducted by aliens, dismissed any theory that Mulder had staged his abduction adamantly, and tirelessly searched for him.

Was maced and beat up by a (hypnotized? I guess we should say) female coworker, but he still used his manners when speaking to her afterward and said, “please, excuse me” before leaving his own office.

Held the hands of fallen soldiers in Vietnam. (Fun note! When Doggett was comatose and laying in the hospital, Skinner was originally supposed to hold Doggett’s hand when he told Reyes about holding dying/injured soldier’s hands. 🫠 Why did they take that away from us)

Dirtied his hands working for CSM to get a cure for Scully’s cancer so Mulder wouldn’t have to.

Procured three gravesites for The Lone Gunmen in the Arlington National Cemetery as repayment for helping him track down Mulder after his abduction.

John Doggett

Derailed his own career to ensure the safety of the X-Files while Mulder was gone and Scully on medical leave.

GENUINELY cared for Scully from the beginning and protected her, always put her first. “My concern is only ever for you, Scully.”

Put his own life in danger to save Mulder the same day they finally met and Mulder shoved him and called him names.

Soft ™️ Held Scully while she was injured and crying the second or third day of knowing each other. Cried in front of Skinner and poured his heart out to him after knowing him for only a few weeks.

Threw around and threatened to kill Spender for touching Scully’s baby.

Chased down Krycek on foot, jumped onto a moving vehicle, and attacked ratboy in hopes of getting a cure for Mulder.

Please, add more if you think of them 🥰

[scullysflannel]

Howdy, hope this finds you well :)

Just dropping in to ask, as someone who’s only up to season 5 of txf, what exactly is it about season 9 that makes it as irredeemable as it is? I plan to go up to season 8 as this show has consumed my life and I’ve done nothing but think about it since I started, but unlike every other season including the revival and second movie, I’m yet to find so much as a good word about season 9 and am morbidly curious as to how they managed to screw the pouch so completely?

Feel free to ignore this one though I appreciate it’s not always fun to talk about the worst of something you adore.

So the thing about season 9 is just that it's not supposed to exist and you can tell. I think there was some pressure from Fox to keep the show going (I tried finding primary sources on this, but googling anything involving "Fox" and "X-Files" and expecting to get info on the studio is a lost cause), even though the season 8 finale was written to work as a series finale, and even though David Duchovny had already made it clear he was not coming back for season 9. The writers' hands were tied in some ways, because they had to work around not having Duchovny after they'd already used up the best excuse for his absence in the books.

But (a) I don't think that's an excuse for the way Mulder's absence in season 9 is handled, which is vague at best and out of character for him and Scully at worst. It's very "out of sight, out of mind" in a way that especially stands out considering how present he feels in season 8. If it's possible to make a version of The X-Files that isn't driven by Mulder (either in his presence or his absence), they didn't find it in season 9.

And (b) the writers also seemed to be writing like their hands were tied when they weren't. The vibe of some of the choices made in season 9, especially when it comes to Scully's story, is very Eric André holding a smoking gun saying "why would Fox do this." It's like, "well we weren't planning on this, but now we have to do it to keep the story going." And the thing is that they actually did not have to do it. There's a bizarre desperation to the way Scully's story is written in season 9. Almost everything they throw at her is traumatic, but also inconsistent and confusing, which makes it all come across as kind of soulless. And it all builds to the most egregious example of "Chris Carter tries to erase the consequences of a story he wrote, thereby creating even more devastating consequences, which he will also ignore" in the history of the show. He didn't have to do that! Scully could have spent a lot of season 9 just being Doggett and Reyes' deadpan pal who does autopsies and it would have been fine.

The thing that "works" "best" about season 9 is that it's theoretically a fresh start, with Doggett and Reyes running the X-Files office: two characters who weren't totally new faces but whose dynamic was mostly unexplored. And to be clear, I think John Doggett rules. The concept of assigning the X-Files to Just a Guy Who's a Very Good Person but Would Rather Be Watching NASCAR is hilarious. I don't think the writers had the same handle on Reyes, but the two of them are interesting together. I will also say I think some of the monster-of-the-week episodes in season 9 (the ones that focus on Doggett and Reyes) are cooler in theory than the motw episodes in season 8.

But it's so rare for those episodes to actually spark. Maybe part of the problem is that, again, the writers made the totally unforced error to focus so much of the mythology on Stressing Scully Out when they could have been deepening Doggett and Reyes' investment in the X-Files outside Scully, which would also liven up their characterization and their dynamic. Season 8 (which has a lot going for it) can skate by on uninteresting motw episodes because Scully's arc in that season is so all-consuming it drives the story forward and makes it meaningful. Season 9 doesn't have that same emotional clarity, so even the motw episodes that have promise feel lacking. (There's also the fact that even if the writers had given Doggett and Reyes better material, they wouldn't be Mulder and Scully. But better material would have helped.)

There's also literally 9/11. I'm this far down on the list of problems with season 9 and I'm just now getting to 9/11. The X-Files gets its edge from its mistrust of the government, but they sanded that down in season 9 because it was so out of step with the mainstream American audience. Until they finally recommitted to critiquing the government in the (original) series finale, the show didn't feel like itself.

It's not even like the problem is the way season 9 ends. The finale is a mixed bag (it's part clip show lol), but I love the final scene, and in most ways it's a more fitting send-off for the show than the final scene of season 8 is. It's just that getting there feels cursed at every step. No one made it out unscathed. There's an episode directed by Michelle MacLaren (her tv directorial debut!) and written by Vince Gilligan, a Breaking Bad partnership for the ages, and even that's bad. Better Call Saul's own Tom Schnauz wrote an episode featuring Aaron Paul and I will never ever watch it again. There's something in the water in season 9. It's just not supposed to be there.

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

this ask may sound as a rant but it's more of a plea.

i have to say that your previous answer woke me from my sleep stupor with the mention of the legal and financial issues within the band/apple. it is a genuine problem i encounter when reading (or hearing people talk about) the breakup and the years that followed. i understand that legality and finance are not fun, but for me, it is essential to fully grasp the fracture in their relationships. even paul has mentioned how he and john couldn't talk about business without it ending in a screaming match.

legal proceedings and business deals help set dates and, with that, inform the members' actions and reactions. of course, the emotional side of the breakup is important, but ever since they were young, they mentioned how becoming rich was a big motivation so why wouldn't it matter in their undoing? it was also why john became interested in allen klein!

i find that what was done business-wise and then what was used in court as "evidence" should not be dismissed as not as important in comparison to emotionally biased theories. (not that these are unimportant, but money can, and has, made and broken relationships) because of this, it can become difficult to find resources on their legal and financial issues without them becoming a footnote or oversimplified.

i agree that tumblr is not the place to find these resources or convos, so this is me pleading with you and anyone if you have an idea where to do so.

thanks for reading/answering! love reading your asks and analysis!

While I said that stuff shouldn't be dismissed, I want to clarify that I don't actually consider myself an expert on it and also think it's not been super widely covered, because the bias towards emotional aspect excludes neither me nor wider Beatles authorship.

To my knowledge, your best bet is the book You Never Give Me Your Money by Peter Doggett, which tries to provide a full overview of the entire legal and financial proceedings of the breakup. Also perhaps check out Peter Brown's book from this year, All You Need Is Love, which includes interview excerpts describing some of the business stuff.

[thatspookyagent]

X-Files character: [puts trust in Krycek]

Krycek: [breaks that trust]

X-Files character:

[robinallender]

Books I read in 2022

Normally I try to write an individual post about every book I read, but I didn’t manage that this year. So here is a montage of all the books I didn’t manage to post about!

I loved John Higgs’ book about The Beatles and James Bond and it was a real highlight to interview him this year for Your Own Personal Beatles. I also read John’s book William Blake vs the World, which was totally revelatory and made me feel like I understood Blake for the first time; I love the idea of Blake wandering around London and coming across the ‘large and pleasant’ village of Camberwell.

I reread Nineteen Eighty-Four, Animal Farm and Coming Up for Air for the Moon Under Water special we recorded for this year’s Orwell Festival. (I only noticed this time around that the appendix of Nineteen Eighty-Four is in the past tense, but apparently everyone has already spotted that.) I also read Dorian Lynskey’s ‘biography’ of Nineteen Eighty-Four, The Ministry of Truth, which brilliantly reckons with Orwell’s contradictions and explores the ways in which the novel has been misinterpreted and co-opted since it was published.

R. C. Sheriff’s The Fortnight in September is absolutely wonderful. A kind of Zen-like ambient novel in which a family goes on holiday to Bognor Regis – and that’s it. Similarly peril-free is Leonard and Hungry Paul, a hugely uplifting novel which is a welcome antidote to, well, everything.

I read some brilliant books about music: The Sound of Being Human by Jude Rogers is part memoir, part analysis of why music means so much to us. I found it incredibly moving. Denim and Leather by Michael Hann is an hilarious, rollicking account of a folk culture unique to our isles: The New Wave of British Heavy Metal. 

We interviewed William Boyd for the Moon Under Water (episode coming soon) and it was a pleasure to read two of his ‘whole life’ novels, Any Human Heart and The Romantic.

2022 was the year in which I finally finished Finnegans Wake (started it in 2018 and kept a Twitter thread going for four years, in case you ever get really bored). Did I understand it? No, but I loved its musicality and glimmers of meaning in the dream-like gloom. Don’t we all? 

Elif Batuman’s The Idiot was the best novel I read this year. The title character, Selin, a student at Harvard in the 1990s, is not an idiot – but she is a kind of holy fool. She’s actually incredibly perceptive at spotting other people’s idiocies and pretensions (of which student life has its fair share). Above all, The Idiot is really a novel about language; the way it conceals and reveals – and is full of glowing passages like this:

I kept thinking about the uneven quality of time – the way it was almost always so empty, and then with no warning came a few days that felt so dense and alive and real that it seemed indisputable that that was what life was, that its real nature had finally been revealed. But then time passed and unthinkably grew dead again, and it turned out that that fullness had been an aberration and might never come back.

Peter Doggett’s You Never Give Me Your Money is a superb Beatles book, and perfect if you watched Get Back and want to know what happened next. Why did The Beatles break up? Doggett has a 300-page answer for you.

The Plot is an engrossing literary thriller – although I did guess the twist. Reading Four Thousand Weeks felt like a waste of time (ironic for a time management book). I found it a bit trite, but some people loved it! More edifying was the children’s classic Carrie’s War, which is absolutely brilliant and surprisingly dark.

I ended the year by reading Salinger (again). As always, I’m amazed by how it feels like I’m back in a real place with real people whenever I read his books. I want to write something longer about The Catcher in the Rye because I think it’s one of the most profound books ever written. This time I wondered if it isn’t, in some way, about nostalgia. Holden is recalling the events of the novel a year after they happened and ends it by saying, ‘Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.’

I finally got around to reading Actual Air. David Berman was a genius. His poems feel like the (mis)apprehensions of childhood – full of dream logic, strange familiarity and familiar strangeness. He was also incredibly funny, as in the poem where he meets a choreographer in New York who claims that blue jeans are ‘pretentious nineteenth-century gold rush period’ outfits.

Speaking of strangeness, I loved The Weird and the Eerie by Mark Fisher, a brilliant study of unsettling art, from Lovecraft to Lynch. Via this book I read what I think is one of the best short stories ever written, ‘The Door in the Wall’ by H. G. Wells – an extraordinary tale of lost childhood and unattainable desire:

‘That is as well as I can remember my vision of that garden – the garden that haunts me still. Of course, I can convey nothing of that indescribable quality of translucent unreality, that difference from the common things of experience that hung about it all; but that – that is what happened. If it was a dream, I am sure it was a daytime and altogether extraordinary dream…’ 

On top of these, I read the following books:

Eclipse – John Banville Pond – Claire-Louise Bennett (again) Dance Move – Wendy Erskine Send Nudes – Saba Sams Piranesi – Susanna Clarke The Way by Swann’s – Marcel Proust Unexhausted Time – Emily Berry Transformer – Ezra Furman Some Answers Without Questions – Lavinia Greenlaw Adventures in the Skin Trade – Dylan Thomas Small Things Like These – Claire Keegan When We Cease to Understand the World – Benjamín Labatut Leave the World Behind – Rumaan Alam A Short Stay in Hell – Steven L. Peck The Apparition Phase – William Maclean

So, a total of 37! Not bad going. Next year, I plan to do things a little bit differently and will probably say farewell to this Tumblr blog (which I started in 2011!). I'm hoping to write more long-form posts, so you may see me on Substack.

Thanks for reading and happy holidays.

[no-reply95]

Jealous Guys

Something I’ve been thinking about for a while now is the different ways jealousy manifested for John and Paul over the course of their friendship.

I’m going to look at John and Paul in turn and have a look at some of the key ways jealousy appeared, before, during and after the Beatles period. This will be a looooong post so if you want to go on deep dive keep reading below.

John

Jealousy was something that John acknowledged as a big part of his personality, as far as I’m aware, he only acknowledged his jealousy publicly in terms of his relationship with Yoko but I believe jealousy was a feature of all of John’s major relationships. John’s first real partnership was with Pete Shotton, his childhood best friend, and Pete has outlined how John’s jealousy and possessiveness was a feature in their friendship with them falling out when Pete first started showing interest in girls and with John acting out when Pete started to spend more time with other friends, instead of him, here Pete recounts John’s reflection on this period of their friendship:

“Years later John confessed to having felt acutely jealous throughout that interlude: “I was scared shitless I’d lost you after our fight in science class, when you starting playing with David Jones. I really thought I’d gone too far with you that time.“

Pete Shotton, John Lennon: In My Life , 1983

Pete’s recollections establish a pattern in John’s life of acting out due to a fear of abandonment and losing those who are closest to him so it’s not surprising that once John had formed a strong bond with Paul that would stir similar fears in him. 

Below I’ve categorised the groups of people that were the focus of John’s jealousy and have picked one person from each group as an example:

Family - Jim McCartney

Paul’s family was and continues to be a big part of his life. From the outset of their friendship, John was made aware of how important Jim was to Paul and vice versa. John and Paul had to skip school to hang out together because Jim wouldn’t have John in their house initially and John confessed his resentment of Jim’s influence over Paul’s life. It appears that after some time John grew tired of having to contend with Jim for the position of the most important person in Paul’s life, and this culminated in John giving Paul a pseudo ultimatum as John discussed in 1971:

“But Paul would always give in to his dad. His dad told him to get a job, he fucking dropped the group and started working on the fucking lorries, saying, "I need a steady career." We couldn't believe it… “So I told him on the phone, "Either come or you're out." So he had to make a decision between me and his dad then, and in the end he chose me”

St. Regis Hotel interview, Sept. 5, 1971

Friends - Mal Evans

Throughout the active years of the band it was typical of them to refer to each other as their best friends and, given the lives they led, I think the simple fact that no one else could understand what it was like to be a Beatle would have meant they all shared a special bond. However, they all had friendships outside of the band and this was something that could cause issues for John when it came to Paul.

According to Tune In, Mal initially became friends with Paul during the band's initial shows at the Cavern Club then, after a suggestion from George, Mal became a part of the Beatles entourage thereafter. Mal had friendships with all the Beatles, as part of their inner circle, but from his comments it appears John took umbrage with the closeness of Mal’s friendship with Paul:

“Paul would suddenly come in with this circle saying, “This is Magical Mystery Tour, will you write that bit?” And I was choked that he’d arranged it all with Mal anyway, for a kickoff, and had all this idea going”

St. Regis Hotel interview, Sept. 5, 1971

Mal also comes up when John discusses his recollections of the writing of Eleanor Rigby:

“So rather than ask me, “John, do these lyrics—” Because by that period, he didn’t want to say that – to me. Okay? So what he would say was, “Hey, you guys, finish off the lyrics,”... “ Now, I sat there with Mal Evans, a road manager who was a telephone installer, and Neil Aspinall, who was a not-completed student accountant who became our road manager. And I was insulted and hurt that he’d thrown it out in the air”...” There might be a version that they contributed, but there isn’t a line in there that they put in.“

Playboy interview, David Sheff 1980

John’s discomfort with the closeness of Paul’s relationship with Mal was something that wasn’t lost on Mal’s wife Lil:

“He was always at their beck and call. He was a nice fella to have around, so much so that it could provoke little jealousies within the band. When I met Yoko years after Mal died, she said John had told her he’d been very jealous at one point of Mal’s relationship with Paul.”

Lil Evans interview with Ray Connolly, 2005

Love interests - Linda McCartney

Throughout their friendship both John and Paul had quite a few love interests, which (to varying degrees) prompted jealousy between them.

Although John displayed jealousy of a few of Paul’s love interests this was no more apparent than with Paul’s first wife Linda McCartney, which is confirmed by both John’s words and actions regarding Linda and her partnership with Paul:

“"Then Klein informed Lennon that McCartney had secretly been increasing his stake in Northern Songs. ‘John flew into a rage,��� recalled Apple executive Peter Brown. ‘At one point I thought he was really going to hit Paul, but he managed to calm himself down.’ One unconfirmed report of this meeting had Lennon leaping towards Linda McCartney, his fists raised in her face"

Peter Doggett, You Never Give Me Your Money

"Int: When did you first meet her [Linda]? John: The first time I saw her was after that press conference to announce Apple in America. We were just going back to the airport and she was in the car with us. I didn't think she was particularly attractive, I wondered what he was bothering having her in the car for. A bit too tweedy, you know. But she sat in the car and took photographs and that was it. And the next minute she's married him."

St. Regis Hotel interview, Sept. 5, 1971

“I was reading your letter and wondering what middle aged cranky Beatle fan wrote it... "What the hell—it’s Linda! . . . Linda— if you don’t care what I say—shut up!—let Paul write—or whatever.”

"Of course, the money angle is important—to all of us—especially after all the petty shit that came from your insane family/in laws—and GOD HELP YOU OUT, PAUL—see you in two years—I reckon you’ll be out then"

Draft letter from John Lennon to Linda McCartney, circa 1971

"The presumption is a) the Beatles would get together again or are even thinking about it and b) if they got together, John and Yoko split, Paul and Linda split"

John (with Yoko) talks to John Fielding on Weekend World, 1973

"John often speculated on why Paul and Linda remained married while, at the same time, resenting their evident happiness, to the extent that he had Green do a tarot reading to ensure him that Paul and Linda were really secretly miserable and were going to divorce within a year"

According to Fred Seaman and John Green, source

Paul

Of course jealousy wasn't a one-way street in the Lennon-McCartney relationship. Unlike with John, for Paul I'm focusing more on the key people I believe his jealousy, regarding John, was directed to:

Stuart Sutcliffe

John met Stu at Art College and struck up a really close friendship with him. At the point that John met Stu, John had already become friends with Paul so Paul felt threatened when Stu entered the picture:

"When he [Stu] came into the band, around Christmas of 1959, we were a little jealous of him; it was something I didn’t deal with very well. We were always slightly jealous of John’s other friendships.

When Stuart came in, it felt as if he was taking the position away from George and me. We had to take a bit of a back seat."

Paul McCartney, Anthology 2000

"Paul was saying something about Stu’s girl – he was jealous because she was a great girl, and Stu hit him, on stage. And Stu wasn’t a violent guy at all."

John Lennon, 1967 Anthology 2000

"I looked up to Stu. I depended on him to tell me the truth. Stu would tell me if something was good and I’d believe him. We were awful to him sometimes. Especially Paul, always picking on him. I used to explain afterwards that we didn’t dislike him, really."

John Lennon, The Beatles Hunter Davies 1968

Yoko Ono

Of all the relationships I've already discussed, the relationship and jealousy displayed from Paul towards Yoko is probably the most widely discussed in Beatles historiography and general discourse. From the official start of Yoko's relationship with John in 1968 it was clear that Paul resented her presence in John's life and her proximity to the band:

"He even sent them [John and Yoko] a hate letter once, unsigned, typed. I brought it in with the morning mail. Paul put most of his fan mail in a big basket and let it sit for weeks, but John and Yoko opened every piece. When they got to the anonymous note, they looked puzzled, looking at each other with genuine pain in their eyes. ‘You and your Jap tart think you’re hot shit’, it said."

Francie Schwartz, Body Count 1972

"Cause she’s [Yoko] very much to do with it from John’s angle, that’s the thing, you know. And I – the thing is that I – there’s— Again, like, there’s always only two answers. One is to fight it, and fight her, and try and get The Beatles back to four people without Yoko, and sort of ask her to sit down at the board meetings. Or else, the other thing is to just realize that she’s there, you know. And he’s not gonna sort of – split with her, just for our sakes."

Paul McCartney, Let It Be Sessions, 1969

"I told John on the phone the other day that at the beginning of last year I was annoyed with him. I was jealous because of Yoko, and afraid about the break-up of a great musical partnership. It’s taken me a year to realise that they were in love. Just like Linda and me."

Paul McCartney, interview with Ray Connolly, 1970

What are the similarities and differences in the way jealousy manifested for John and Paul?

I think it's obvious but bears repeating that both John and Paul displayed jealousy towards other people who they felt would threaten their relationship so that's central to all the instances I have flagged, Jim, Mal, Linda, Stu, Yoko all posed real or imagined threats to John and Paul's partnership.

However, you'll note that I included more sources to display John's jealousy regarding Paul and that I categorised John's jealousy targets whereas I only pulled out two key individuals for Paul, this isn't to say that John was more jealous than Paul was, as jealousy isn't something you can quantify, but to highlight my opinion that Paul's jealousy regarding John was more targeted than John's jealousy regarding Paul. I think what stands out to me is that, I think generally Stu and Yoko are held up as the prime examples of Paul's jealousy of other people getting close to John, as far as we know, Paul never had significant issues with other people who formed close relationships with John like Pete Shotton, Cynthia Lennon, Magic Alex etc., why was that? I think that Paul was more threatened when he felt that John was replacing him so by bringing Stu into the band (even though he wasn't a musician) and Yoko into the studio (one instance where Paul was especially hurt was when John gave Paul's line in The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill to Yoko to sing), Paul perhaps felt that his place as John's primary collaborator was in jeopardy and that he could lose a partnership that had become central to his self-worth as a person - that, I believe, was when his jealousy was most likely to rise to the fore. John, on the other hand, had a much wider range of targets when it came to jealousy regarding Paul, why was John jealous of Linda? Linda wasn't trying to replace John as Paul's collaborator, if anything she wanted the Lennon-McCartney partnership to be stronger. Why was John jealous of Mal? Mal wasn't a musician, Mal was a huge fan of the band and constantly worked to fulfil their requests, so why was John so threatened by his friendship with Paul? For me, John's jealousy regarding Paul was more than just a fear of directly being replaced, I believe John's jealousy was fundamentally triggered by a fear of abandonment. I think the childhood trauma John experienced, of being left by both his parents, meant that whenever any of his close friendships and relationships were threatened, or he felt that someone close to him may leave him, he would act out. John fell out with his childhood best friend Pete when he got a girlfriend, John hit Cynthia when he saw her dancing with Stu, John was rude to several of Paul's love interests and ultimately John never fully accepted Paul's relationship with Linda because, although he could see that she could offer Paul the family life he always wanted, John didn't want Linda to take Paul away and give him a family that meant that Paul would no longer be able to prioritise John in his life as he had in the past.

Ultimately, we'll never know all the ways that jealousy factored into John and Paul's relationship with each other and those around them, as I'm sure it impacted several relationships in more complex ways than I can articulate (i.e. I suspect jealousy played a part in Paul's initial resentment of Brian but they grew closer over time so maybe Paul's jealousy lessened over time or Brian became less of a threat?). I do think it's important to consider that jealousy was present on both sides and was likely a factor in the breakdown of John and Paul's relationship, the breakdown of the Beatles and was a continued factor in disrupting reconciliations between John and Paul into the 70s and 1980.

[enigmaticxbee]

✖️✖️ 8x05 Invocation

The one where... an abducted child comes back 10 years later without having aged - and we start getting hints about Doggett’s tragic backstory.

Best: The discussions between Scully and Doggett about what constitutes success on the X-Files. Interesting that what I was just complaining about with Doggett on the bat man case, Scully is now explicitly asking him to do - just accept that there’s no explanation and find a win in catching the bad guy and closing the case. Doggett says he wants to do whatever it takes to solve the case but he’s determined to solve it like a standard abduction case without engaging at all with the paranormal aspects. I appreciate that this dynamic is forcing Scully into defending her beliefs and not letting her get away with vague I’ve seen things I can’t explain non-answers.

Worst: There are some awkward things in this episode, for expediency’s sake I guess. How much they call your attention to the creepy teen in the cold open. How bizarrely everyone at the school acts when the mom arrives after Billy has reappeared. How after that no one but Scully (and the dad, a bit) seems to find his reappearance weird at all!

✔️ Flashlights

✔️ Woods

❌ Slideshow

❌ Autopsy

❌ Evidence Disappears

❌ Scully Misses It

✔️ Mulder Ditch (the biggest ditch of all)

❌ Sunflower Seeds

❌ Voiceover

❌ Catch Phrase

❌ Scully is a Medical Doctor

❌ Mulder is Spooky

❌ Scuuullllaaaaayy! Muullllderrrr!

❌ Fox/Dana

❌ Inappropriate Touching (that I am here for)

❌ Casual Scully

❌ Casual Mulder

✔️ Trench Coats

❌ Bad Tie Watch

❌ Glasses Watch

✔️ Taking! It! Personally!: Doggett

50 States: Oklahoma x2 (41/50)

Investigate: Apart

Solve Rate: 40%

✔️ Bechdel Test: Barely

MSR: 🐝

Goriness: 👽👽

Creepiness: 👽👽👽

Humor: 👽

Rewatch Thoughts:

Doggett check-in: Does everyone have to have a tragic backstory? I suppose part of his obtuseness on this case is because his secret wish is for his son to be returned as if no time has passed and for everything to just be fine.

Pregnancy check-in: No mention. Unclear exactly how much time goes by during this episode, if it’s only a few days Scully must be at least 8-10 weeks along.

Missing Mulder: No mention. But I sure miss him a LOT. I’m sure Scully does too. I know it’s not txf episodic way but I wish there were at least references to Scully continuing on her on time to look with Skinner and the Lone Gunmen. They’d keep tracking the UFO data, investigating John Does, etc. They wouldn’t just give up!

How can Scully not know anything about Doggett’s son? Did she really not do a background check on Doggett??

Shades of the Calusari possessed by evil twin creepy kid, with the mom desperately pretending everything’s fine while the clearly creepy child is creeping around.

Why are children’s lullabies so creepy 🤔

[scenes-in-between]

Hellbound

“You ever visited Novi before?” “No, I never have.”

Monica can feel Van Allen’s gaze on her back as she continues toward the car. It’s unsettling, but she resists the urge to look back over her shoulder; she doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing that he’s unnerved her. 

It’s not clear what exactly his deal is. Certainly he wouldn’t be the first small town detective with a chip on his shoulder about the FBI coming around to ask questions. Nor would he be the first man she’s encountered who thinks women don’t belong in law enforcement. But it feels like something more than that; the energy coming off him is dark and almost predatory. Monica learned long ago not to ignore those energies and impressions, even (or perhaps especially) when they are at odds with the way things appear on the outside.

When she rounds the front of the car and reaches for the driver’s side door, she lets herself look up again. Van Allen is still watching her, but to her relief, John exits the church just then, and the detective turns toward him instead.

“What’d I tell you?” he says. “Waste of time.”

John glances across the driveway at Monica before responding. “A man was murdered, Detective. Now he might not have been a Boy Scout, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do what we can to find his killer.”

“Funny. I would’ve thought the FBI had bigger things to worry about than why some low-life nobody got himself killed. You must be real busy if you go chasing after every little thing that comes your way.” 

The sneer in Van Allen’s voice gives Monica a cold feeling in the pit of her stomach.

“Victor Potts didn’t just piss somebody off in a bar fight and end up shot,” John says. “Even you have to admit the way he died was pretty unusual. I haven’t seen something like that since I was working a lot of gang cases, and I wouldn’t think you get a lot of that kinda activity out here in Novi.”

Van Allen shrugs. “A little here and there. This isn’t exactly South Central. But it doesn’t take a genius to connect the dots and figure out Potts probably made himself some enemies in prison. You drove here from D.C. yourself, Agent Doggett. You know the city’s not all that far away.”

It’s not lost on Monica that this is, essentially, the very same argument John made last night. She’s grateful, then, that he doesn’t simply agree with the detective now.

“Maybe so,” he says. “Maybe there’s something else goin’ on. If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather not close a case based solely on an assumption of the facts.”

Instead of answering, Van Allen turns his head to look right at Monica, sending another chill down her spine. “Well, it looks like your partner is waiting for you, Agent Doggett. I wouldn’t want to keep you from your important work.”

Monica breaks eye contact, not even caring in that moment if it makes her look weak; she can’t bear another second locked eye-to-eye with him. She opens the car door, sits down inside, and puts the key in the ignition, not looking up again until John gets in the car.

***

Doggett reaches for his seatbelt as Monica starts the car.

“Thank you,” she says quietly.

“For what?”

“I know you think Van Allen’s right, that Victor Potts probably just got on someone’s bad side, maybe while he was in prison. But I appreciate that you’re willing to see the case through anyway.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Since when do you need to thank me for doing my job? Now I might not understand what it is about this particular case that’s got you all tied up in knots, but I meant what I said to Lisa Holland in there, that there’s justice to be served. Regardless of whether or not he’s right, Detective Van Allen clearly hasn’t done his due diligence, and you know that sort of thing is never gonna sit well with me.”

She looks over at him, smiling, before turning her attention back to the road. “And that’s one of the reasons you’re not just a good agent, but a good man, too.”

“Well, no need to act all surprised,” he says, and she laughs.

He has to admit, though, that he’s still puzzled as to why they’re on this case at all. Lisa Holland said that Monica contacted her about it, not the other way around, as Doggett had assumed. 

“Tell me something,” he says. “If Lisa Holland wasn’t the one who contacted you about this case, how did you find out about it?”

He sees her shoulders tense. “I… I read about it.”

“What, over the wire?” he asks, frowning. “Talk about a needle in a haystack. Were you looking for something in particular or what?”

“No, it’s more like… this case found me.”

He waits for her to elaborate, but she doesn’t say anything more. She gets like this sometimes, clearly holding something back, but he knows it’s not because she’s trying to keep the upper hand or keep him in the dark about something important.

No, when she gets like this, it’s because she’s afraid of looking foolish.

Doggett can’t honestly say he buys a lot of the stuff that she talks about, feeling “energies” and that sort of thing. But he knows Monica is a good agent. She’s smart and cares a hell of a lot more than most people. So it doesn’t matter, most of the time, if she wants to believe in auras or ghosts or whatever. More often than not, they end up on the same page by the time a case is closed, even if they don’t agree on how exactly they got there. No matter how this case ended up on her radar, it’s here now, and he’ll see it through.

Would’ve been nice if she could’ve waited until morning to bring him in on it, though. He stifles a yawn.

“Well, where do you want to go next with this? Back to the office to run backgrounds, or is there anything else in Novi you think we should check out first?”

“I think backgrounds are the logical next step, yes,” Monica says, nodding. “We need to know more about Potts’s connections, in prison and otherwise. I’ve also asked Dana to look for any cases with a similar M.O. or cause of death.”

“You think there’s a chance we’re looking for someone who’s done this before and was never caught?”

She’s quiet a moment, then says, “I think it would take a certain type of person to do something like this. Not just the cruelty of it, but the precision. This is someone who has either done this before, or they’ve been planning for a long time, maybe after they saw someone else do the same thing.”

The precision, Doggett has to admit, is the one thing that has given him pause. Sure, he’s seen skinnings before, but they’ve generally been rushed, sloppy, and more often than not, inflicted after death. Whoever killed Victor Potts was skilled, and patient, more interested in prolonging the victim’s torture than just leaving a threat to some rival gang.

“Yeah, you may be right,” he says. “Last thing we’d want is for this to be someone just getting started.”

He sees a shiver go through Monica. “That’s exactly what I’m afraid of,” she says quietly.

***

Background checks are tedious even under the best circumstances, but by early afternoon, Monica can see that the tedium combined with the lack of sleep is really taking a toll on John. His eyes keep drifting closed, and he’s had the file on his desk open to the same page for the last fifteen minutes.

As much as she hates to admit it, they aren’t making much progress. Even sustained as she has been by caffeine, adrenaline, and nicotine gum, Monica knows that the sleepless night is starting to catch up with her, too. She wants to solve this case -- needs to solve it -- but sheer force of will is only going to get her so far. 

“Okay,” she says, clicking ‘print’ on the document she’d been reading, a report about potential instances of death premonitions. “I think we’ve hit a point of diminishing returns here. I say we take some work home with us and call it a day.”

John looks up. “You go on ahead. Truth be told, I don’t think I’m in any shape to get behind the wheel of my truck right now. I’ll grab a nap here and head home a little later.”

Guilt hits her then. If he’s willing to freely admit that he’s too tired to drive safely, he must be completely exhausted. And it’s her fault. This case is important, yes, but did she really need to haul him out of bed in the middle of the night to come look at Victor Potts’s body, or could it have waited until morning? It had felt critical and urgent in the moment, but now she’s not so sure.

“You know what? I have a better idea. Come with me. My apartment is all of ten minutes away, and my couch is way more comfortable than the floor in here.”

“It’s fine, really, I just need--”

“Please, John. I owe you. Let me buy you dinner to make up for dragging you out of bed in the middle of the night. After we’ve both had some rest, I’ll get something delivered.”

He opens his mouth like he’s about to argue more, then pauses. “Yeah, all right. Gotta admit, that sounds pretty good to me.”

She smiles. “Let’s go, then.”

[greifed]

“   you’ve got a good rep, agent doggett. you don’t compromise, you don’t quit. you’re a damn good fbi agent; best of the best. lot of guys put you in the director’s chair one day.                   WHICH IS WHY YOU’VE BEEN SET UP TO FAIL.

john doggett of fox’s the x-files. profiled by linny. headcanon based & selective.

[ghostbustermelanieking]

snippets from an msr historical au

cleaning out my 2019 fic closet lol. this is excerpts of a historical au i did, based on a short au prompt i wrote in june here. it takes place in 1850s new york where scully and emily are irish immigrants who befriend mulder when he offers to tutor emily. i wrote these snippets months ago and it'll probably go unfinished, but i liked it too much to not share. so here is my scattered sense of world building. 

---

Melissa had been the one to suggest the name. She had been there in the birthing room, the only one left after her mother had traveled to America with Bill and her father was gone and Charlie was in England. Daniel had been elsewhere, of course, it wasn't proper for husbands to be in the birthing room, and he upheld tradition stronger than she did, so it was Melissa and her friend the midwife, Melissa holding her hand, Melissa handing her the squalling babe. She had passed out from the pain and felt a rush of relief when she woke up again; she had feared she wouldn't wake up again after it was all over. She knew many women who had never met their children. Melissa had brought the baby back, the tiny child with their mother's eyes and a patch of bright hair, and Dana had filled with relief. If she had no one else in this marriage, which had long grown sour, she would have her daughter. 

Melissa had suggested Emily because she loved Wuthering Heights, recently republished under the true name of its author. "It's a beautiful name, Dana, and perhaps, if she's lucky, she'll receive even an ounce of the creativity that comes with it," she had said, clutching the tiny hand in hers. "What a wonderful thing that would be." 

That had been enough to convince her. Emily Margaret, she'd said, for her mother, far away in the heartlands of a country she would never see, and for her stepdaughter, who hated her fiercely, though she didn't live with them anymore. The girl hated her, for taking the place of her mother, but Dana saw it as a chance to make peace with the both of them. It did not work, though; Maggie had not had any interest in her sister, or in her stepmother, and Dana had long given up trying. Given up on the whole family, her husband included: he took little interest in her or his daughter, and when he did, it was in a possessive sort of manner that made her skin crawl. The medical lessons she'd received as a young woman were long gone, and he saw her only as the keeper of the house and of his child. He wanted more, but she refused. 

When he'd died on the voyage over, a small, shameful part of her had been relieved. She would not have to pretend to love him anymore, to feel the same way as she had all those years before. But she had feared so greatly for her daughter, that the illness would take one of them, too. She knew life would be hard without a husband, as was the cruel and unfair way of the world (her mother had told her as a little girl as she braided her hair), but it would be impossible for Emily without her. She would end up alone in some horrible orphanage, neglected and abandoned. And Dana could not imagine life without her daughter now, imagine being alone in the city she'd heard so much about. She could not go out west alone, and she could not survive alone. She remembered lying in her small, cold, hard bunk, holding Emily's small figure close, her lips to her hot forehead and murmuring a prayer. And God had heard her prayers. Her daughter had lived, and she looked more and more like Melissa every day. 

Emily often has questions about this, the family she will never know. When the two of them are lying in their bed, behind the makeshifts wall John had built to separate their tiny space from the rest of the equally tiny apartment (he and Barbara sleep in a bed on the other side, adjacent to the stove, and their boy Luke sleeps in a pallet on the floor), she will whisper questions about her father, her half sister, her aunt and her uncles and her grandparents. But it is often Daniel and Maggie, the family she will never know. "Did they love me?" she whispers. "Was Papa kind? Was Maggie beautiful?"

Dana offers some truths and some falsehoods, knowing she will never see either of them again, and therefore her stories will never be contradicted. Yes, Maggie was beautiful, although she mostly remembers a girl not ten years younger than her calling her a whore and a witch and a false mother. Yes, they loved her. No, Emily will never know her sister, because though she did love Emily (although Dana does not know if this is true), she did not feel the same for Dana. There is a picture that Daniel had made before they went, of Maggie, her hair combed nearly and gathered up, wearing her best dress, her cheeks thin, and Emily sitting on her lap, her face twisted with displeasure at having to sit still for quite so long. Emily loves to look at it, and of the faded portrait of the two of them on their wedding day, though Dana does not feel the same. But she allows Emily these frivolities. She cannot give her much more than that. 

---

She meets him by accident one Sunday, her one and only day off from the factory. She and Emily go to Mass every Sunday, of course, and then she spends much of the day helping Barbara to clean, cook, do the laundry (she always does hers and Emily's, at least; though Barbara has the time in the day to do it, she will not accept the favor). She takes a rest, sometimes, or she spends time with Emily, playing jacks or cards (Luke Doggett taught her to gamble, and she cannot shake the habit), or with the worn rag doll she and Melissa had made for her in Ireland, or reading to her. Her favorite is a newer one by a man named Melville. Dana relishes the time alone with her daughter, as she is often too tired to do anything like this after work. She has meant to teach Emily to read and write herself, considering that she's too young to start school yet, and John claims that most children already know a bit before they begin school, but she's barely had the time to teach her more than a few words. Sometimes on Sundays, they have a brief lesson, but there is so little time in the week. 

One Sunday, after Dana has hung the laundry, and scrubbed the floor, and washed the dishes, she decides to go and find Emily, thinking they can read another chapter of Melville, perhaps. (She likes the book, she will admit; it reminds her of her father and his stories of the sea.) She expects to find Emily on the tail of Luke and his friends—they are much older than her, but her lonely girl still follows her around like he is the brother she'll never have—but Luke claims he has not seen her. She finds her, finally, on the steps of the building, an old reader Luke had kept open on her lap, squinting furiously at the page. A man is sitting beside her, pointing out the words on the page, speaking in a calm and patient voice. Dana recognizes the man immediately as their neighbor, Mr. Mulder, a schoolteacher who she has spoken to in the hall before. She's seen him occasionally playing with the young boys in the building, or talking with the men and women about books, plays, politics, scientific discoveries. She'd had a particular long discussion with him once on the effects of anesthesia in medicine, which Daniel had commented on several times.

"Emily," she says, and Emily scrambles to her feet and runs to her side, beaming with excitement. "Mama, this is Mr. Mulder, the schoolteacher," she says in a rush, tugging at her skirt. "He saw me trying to read and he offered to help!" 

"He did?" She strokes the top of her daughter's head, messy from where she's taken it out of her braids, stealing a look at the man. 

"My apologies, Miss Scully," Mr. Mulder offers, getting to his feet. "I didn't mean to intrude… I only wanted to help, if I could."

"It's not an intrusion," Dana says, but she is still wary. "I have been trying to teach her, but I often cannot find the time, and she's so desperate to learn. She's still too young for school yet." And privately, Dana worries about what Emily will go through when she enters school, considering the anger New Yorkers have for immigrants. There is a Catholic school she's looking at, simply because it seems like the best option, but it still is too easy to worry. 

"Mama," Emily whispers, tugging her skirt again as if she finds her embarrassing. 

Mr. Mulder smiles a bit. "Your daughter is very intelligent. She should have no trouble catching up."

"I'm six years old," Emily informs Mr. Mulder, her back automatically straightening as if to look older. "In a year's time, Mama says she can put me in school."

"I'm sure you're very excited," Mr. Mulder says, without even a hint of indulgence in his voice. Emily nods, a little shyly. Mr. Mulder seems to be thinking a bit on the subject, but he speaks soon after. "Perhaps if your mother permits it," he says, speaking as much to Dana as to Emily, "I could tutor you in my spare time. Teach you your letters and give you a head start on reading."

Emily's eyes light up, shyness forgotten, and she tugs pleadingly on Dana's skirt. "That would be wonderful!" she breathes. "Please, Mama, can't I do it?"

"I don't know, Em… I wouldn't want to impose on Mr. Mulder's time." The man certainly seems smart enough to educate her daughter, but it seems too large a favor to ask of a complete stranger. It is also worth noting that she doesn't know the man very well outside of polite conversations in the hallway. She offers Mr. Mulder an apologetic smile. 

"It's not an imposition at all," he says. "I would be glad to do it."

Dana bites her lower lip, her hand on her daughter's boney shoulder. "I-I could not afford to pay you anything," she says softly, although that may be obvious. None of them are wealthy—that is why they live here. But she may be a step down from the rest, staying in the corner of a friend's apartment with a screen instead of a wall, using her meager earnings to buy unsubstantial meals and pay a portion of the rent. If she had the money, she would get Emily and herself their own place, but she's got something of a disadvantage in that area. There isn't much she can do to rectify it. 

Mr. Mulder shakes his head immediately. "No money is required," he says, his voice full of sincerity. "I would be glad to do it as a favor."

"I could not ask that of you…" she tries, but he halts her protests quickly. "Do not worry about it," he says. "When I was younger, my little sister was not allowed to go to school as I was, and she wanted to learn as badly as Emily. I tried to teach her, but I wasn't very good at it." He offers a rueful little smile. "I would be glad to be able to give someone else the opportunity where I couldn't give it to her."

Emily tugs at her skirt again and whispers, "Please." 

Dana chews her lower lip again and sighs. "If you are absolutely sure it would not be a problem, Mr. Mulder," she says. "I know Emily would appreciate that very much." 

Overjoyed, Emily bounces up and down on her toes with excitement. Mr. Mulder smiles at the both of them widely. "I can assure you it won't be a problem, Miss Scully," he tells her. "It will be my pleasure."

---

They practice reading each night, at least for a little while. Even when Dana is so tired she can scarcely keep her eyes open, they spend a few minutes going over Mr. Mulder's lessons, if nothing else. Emily has always been a fast learner, and within a couple of months, she is able to stumble through a page or two of Moby-Dick. Dana is incredibly proud. She can remember her own lessons in reading and other forms of education: her father had taught her often when she was younger, alongside Billy and Melissa, but the lessons had more or less stopped at a certain point. Past that, she had more or less taught herself with books of her father's, watching Bill and her father as they worked, more books still from Daniel's vast library. She never wanted that lapse in education for her daughter; it may be inevitable at some point, but she'll do what she can to prevent it. 

Emily seems to adore Mr. Mulder as much as she does the lessons. "He is funny, Mama," she tells her in the second week, after she's retrieved her and thanked Mr. Mulder profusely. "And kind, just like John is. Much kinder than the other men in the building. Luke says he's the best schoolteacher he's ever had, and he's very smart and fair to the other children."

"He sounds very nice," says Dana, swinging their hands between them. 

"He is." She looks up at her with Missy's eyes. "Was Papa like that?" she asks. 

Her voice is so high and innocent, it makes Dana want to cry. No, she thinks, biting her lower lip. She says out loud, "I-I could not say, Em. I don't know Mr. Mulder well enough to make a comparison between him and your father."

Emily nods, her face serious. She looks down at her shoes, almost self-consciously. "I would like to believe that Papa was like Mr. Mulder," she says softly, and Dana squeezes her daughter's hand tightly. "I-I imagine him reading to me some nights, and helping me read. Y-you could take turns. And he could buy me pretty things, perhaps, and teach me all that he knows, like John does for Luke. Do you think he would have, Mama?"

"I know he would have," says Dana. It may be a bit of a lie, but that hardly seems to matter as much as her daughter's happiness. 

---

Mulder had done it, originally, because Emily Scully reminded her of his sister. He'd seen her as often as the other children in the apartment building, sometimes hovering after Luke Doggett the way that Samantha had followed him. But more often, he'd seen her by herself, playing alone on the front steps with a ragged doll in hand, or trying desperately to read, hunched over a ragged old reader and struggling out loud to sound out words, dress muddy, pigtails unraveling. And he had thought of Samantha, sneaking reading lessons in the back of their immaculate library, trying to climb up a tree and ripping a hole in her stockings. It had been enough to cause him to offer up free tutoring, on an impulse, remembering his sister and how frustrated she used to get whenever he would leave for school and she would have to stay home. He hadn't been lying about that. 

But a part of it was because of his admiration for her mother, Miss Dana Scully, who he'd seen in the halls often beforehand. She is beautiful, and intelligent, and there is something about her that simply draws Mulder to her, in a way he cannot explain. He is sure it won't go anywhere past friendship—Emily has reported that her father died only a few years before, on their trip over from Ireland, and Mulder himself has never particularly expected to be married—but he still enjoys any opportunity to spend time in her company. Particularly the talks they have when she drops by to retrieve Emily after shifts at the factory; they often last long, while they discuss books or plays or scientific theories, anything of the sort. Sometimes, he will ask Emily and Miss Scully to stay and share in his supper, sparse as it is; other times, Miss Scully will invite him to share leftovers of John Doggett's, or whatever cooking she has done herself. Sometimes, he fears he is bothering her, but other times, it seems as if she might like him a bit, too. He cannot tell for sure. 

He tells himself it does not matter. He is here mostly to save money, so that he can travel. He hears there is opportunity in the west, but he would be fooling himself if he cited that as the reason. It does not matter to him where he ends up; all that matters is that he finds his sister and brings her home, after all of these years. 

But still, he enjoys tutoring Emily. She's a bright young girl, a quick learner, and sweet. He does not know anything of her father aside from his death, but she still undeniably resembles her mother in every way he can see. He teaches her a bit of mathematics after she's gained some talent in reading and writing, and she enjoys that immensely. She has a load of questions for him every time she sees him: about stars, about history, about how things work and why they happen and where places are. Sometimes, Miss Scully will answer her before he can even open his mouth, blushing a little after and looking at him as if to see if he minds. He never does.

---

She shows up at his door after midnight, her face white, shaking. Emily at her side, curled into her with a blanket wrapped around her shoulder, her face hidden in Miss Scully's skirt, crying softly. For a second, Mulder doesn't know what to do, what to say. "Miss Scully, is… is everything okay?" he stammers, clutching his door in one hand. He sees a sudden splotch of red on her dress, alarming and bright. "Are you hurt?" he stammers. 

She's shaking her head. "No, no, Mr. Mulder, it's not that, it's just…" She swallows hard, her eyes wide and helpless. "I-I need you to take care of Emily. I need to leave her here. Please."

Emily seems to clutch Miss Scully's skirt harder at that, shaking her head and crying more frantically. She mumbles something that sounds a bit like, "Don't leave me, Mama, don't leave me."

Mulder takes a sharp breath and opens the door wider. "Come in, come in," he says, and Miss Scully does, stroking Emily's mussed hair with quivering fingers. "W-what has happened, Miss Scully? Perhaps I can help."

Miss Scully clenches her chin and shakes her head, her face turned down towards her daughter. "I-I cannot… I do not have time for this, Mr. Mulder. I… Please. Please, Mr. Mulder, I have to leave, they will be coming for me."

"Who?" On an impulse, he reaches out and takes her free hand. It is cold and soft, and as he draws it closer, he sees the same glimpses of red, red crescents under her fingernails. "Who is it, Miss Scully? Who is coming for you?"

Emily's sobs are heart wrenching, even muffled by Miss Scully's skirt. Miss Scully looks to be on the verge of tears herself. She does not pull her hand away. "The… the police," she whispers. 

"The police?" Mulder's mind tightens in fear as he remembers something suddenly, something he has often forgotten: the Irish are not well liked here. He wonders if these prejudices have somehow found the Scullys. "What has happened?"

Miss Scully bites her lower lip before lifting her chin so that her clear, blue eyes meet his. "There… there was a fight at a bar," she says tentatively. "John's son was involved, and so he intervened, and was injured. They followed him home. I… intervened, and I… harmed a man in an attempt to protect the Doggetts and my daughter." Her chin quivers once, steadies. She presses a hand over her daughter's head, spreading her fingers over her scalp. "He's dead," she whispers. "And he… he was police. So they'll be coming for me, to arrest me, and I… I will not find mercy here. I have learned that much."

His mind racing, he stammers, "But that… that is not murder, Miss Scully… that is self defense. A-any jury would see that."

She laughs bitterly. "But who can prove it? Emily did not see, and Barbara and John had already slipped down the fire escape. The only witnesses are the men who would have me arrested. And I will be convicted. Americans do not have any sympathy for women of my background." She swallows again, her pale white throat, a bruise blooming underneath her jaw. The sight of it makes Mulder furious. He is still clutching her limp hand. "S-so I am begging you, please take my daughter," she whispers. "She adores you. Take her, a-and take the money I have saved, and you can send her west, to my brother's house… I have to go. If they catch me, I can't let them get her. And if I escape…"

"Please, Mama, please don't go," Emily whimpers, drawing back, her cheeks smeared her tears. "Don't leave me alone, Mama, please."

"I have to, sweetheart." Miss Scully leans down to kiss her daughter's hair. Mulder can see her tears falling, glistening in the candlelight. "I must. But you will be safe here…"

"I cannot do this," says Mulder, speaking abruptly, almost without thinking. 

Miss Scully's eyes widen with horror, and she pulls back her hand as she looks up at him. "You… you will not help me?" she whispers furiously. "After everything, I-I thought you cared for my daughter… cared for me, as a friend…"

"N-no, Miss Scully, y-you misunderstand," he stammers, his eyes wide. "I will protect Emily, of course I will protect Emily, but I… I will not leave you to be arrested."

Her eyes widen in surprise. "You are foolish to offer this," she whispers. "If they catch me… you cannot hide me here, Mr. Mulder."

"I cannot," he agrees. "But I can get you out of the city. You and your daughter both." His mind is racing, full of ideas. "I-I have friends I trust, a house I could take you to tonight. And tomorrow, we-we could go to my mother's house, in Massachusetts, for the time being. The two of you could stay there until… until we figure out a way to get you to your brother's."

Miss Scully is quiet, her eyes wide. Emily, leaning into her mother, is looking between the two of them curiously, like she is hopeful that this will happen. "You will be safe," Mulder adds. "Both of you. I promise you that."

"I could not ask that of you, Mr. Mulder," Miss Scully whispers. "It is too much."

"It's not." Mulder thinks of the money, put aside to search for Samantha. Enough for three train tickets north at least, if not a little left over after to fund a trip to wherever Miss Scully's brother is. A part of him is reluctant to spend the money he has been saving for so long—part of him feels like he is abandoning his sister, his family—but the rest of him is remembering Samantha at seven, at eight, more caring and compassionate than anyone in his family. She rescued animals (kittens, baby birds, piglets from the barn), knitted things with their mother to send to the local orphanage, shared her food with the servants on occasion and stole food from the pantry for the family down the road who never had enough food. She would want him to help them; he can still picture her wide, teary eyes, her weepy voice prodding him to help them, help them, Fox. And he wants to. He looks at Dana Scully and her daughter, the best companions he's found in the past few months, and he knows immediately that he must help them. He has no choice. 

"I have money," he says out loud. "I can get you out of the city. I can help you. Both of you."

"Please, Mama, you must come with us. We can't leave you all alone." Emily hugs her mother hard around the waist, sniffling loudly. "I need you, Mama, please."

Miss Scully looks to her daughter, and then back to Mulder. Her eyes are still wide with fear. She sighs a little, tensely, and whispers, "I'll need to pack some things. My savings…" 

"If you tell me what you need, I'll go and get it. You should not have to go back there."

Miss Scully rattles off a list in a quivering voice: clothes for the both of them, a knife that her father gave her, her bundle of coins underneath the bed. Emily tugs on his sleeve and adds softly, "And my dolly, please. And the picture of my sister Maggie, and of Mama's family. There's two of them."

Mulder slips out of his apartment and into theirs and finds it all, bundling it into a ragged carpet bag. He grabs their coats, too, and the family Bible under the bed, and a pistol he finds in John Doggett's part of the apartment. He tucks the pistol into his waistband and goes back to his apartment, where he finds the girls sitting on his bed, Emily curled up asleep in her mother's lap. "There is no need to wake her," he says when he sees Miss Scully moving to do just that. "I can carry her. It may be easier if she is asleep." 

She nods, taking the carpet bag from his hands. "I… I cannot begin to thank you, Mr. Mulder," she whispers, shifting Emily off of her lap and standing. 

He's begun to gather his own things, shoving his feet into his boots, retrieving his own savings. He puts a few books he cannot bear to part with into his bag, and a drawing he's held onto for years now, a portrait his father commissioned of Samantha. Photography was not in fashion when he and his sister were growing up, and so this drawing is the only memory he has as to what she looked like. "There is no need for thanks."

"You've done too much for us," Miss Scully whispers. She's put on her coat, and Emily's coat, and now she is tying a piece of cloth over her head—he assumes, to hide her bright hair. Her voice, soft as it's been all night, sounds a little different, as if she's trying to sand off the edges of the accent, attempting to sound different. "I… will find a way someday to repay you."

"It is not at all necessary." He shoulders his bag, grabs his hat and pulls it onto his head, before leaning down and scooping up Emily. She is a bit tall to be carried, but much lighter than he expected, barely weighing anything in his arms. She stays asleep, her coat and the blanket hanging off of her lightly. He shifts her in his arms and turns back to Miss Scully. "Shall we go?"

Miss Scully nods, her fingers rushing to button her coat. She grabs her carpet bag, clutching it to her chest, and trails out of the apartment after him. 

 ---

She was twenty-one the first time she was married, at the end of the famine that had plagued her teenage years. She remembered being frightened, if only a little bit. She'd met Daniel a few times beforehand, and though at the time he'd seemed kind and honorable, she found it bizarre that his young daughter was only seven years younger than her. Practically the right age enough to court her younger brother. She hadn't wanted it for herself, it was the last thing she'd wanted in a way, and yet she could not protest. She could feel her mother watching Melissa as she helped her to get ready, and knew she was thinking about the disappointment Melissa had given her by refusing to marry, even driving away potential suitors. Her sister was going to have the life she wanted, and Dana was going to take her place as the honorable daughter, the one who did what she was supposed to do and did not argue. She wasn't marrying Daniel Waterston for herself, but for her father, because it was what he wanted, and she could not stand to let him or her mother down. Her father walked her down the aisle, and she wore the veil her mother had worn when she'd gotten married, and she'd wished to be somewhere else. 

Now here she is again, in front of an altar with a man, but her father is dead, and she hasn't seen her mother or sister in years, and her daughter sleeps in the room upstairs, and she is twenty-eight and grimy and dressed in a dress that is too large for her because her own dress has bloodstains on it. She does not feel like a bride. The only good difference, she thinks, is that she knows her husband-to-be better than she perhaps ever knew Daniel. She knows he is intelligent and kind, and willing to protect herself and her daughter. And no matter the reason for this impromptu, inconvenient marriage, she is glad for at least that. 

Mr. Mulder is holding her hands, so gently in his, and he's not quite meeting her eyes, but she can still see kindness in his face. She doesn't quite have the courage to look at him, either, and so she looks down at her boots. Mr. Frohike, their witness, stands in the corner. The preacher, a friend of Mr. Frohike, stands before them without asking questions. He simply opens the Bible and says the words, all the right ones. Dana and Mr. Mulder say what they are meant to, too, and then it is done. They do not kiss, not even chastely. There is no music or flowers or white dresses. Dana could not care less. 

Just before the ceremony, Mr. Mulder leaned down to whisper in her ear, saying, "I promise you I will be a gentleman, Miss Scully. This marriage is for the safety of you and your daughter. It doesn’t have to mean a thing." 

She blushed immediately, heat rising on her cheeks, and looked to the ground. "I cannot thank you enough, Mr. Mulder," she had said softly. "And you need not worry. I trust you." 

When she looked back at him, he was smiling. "Perhaps we should do away with the formalities, Miss Scully."

"Perhaps," she had agreed, a bit amused. "I won't be a Miss anymore, after all." She offered him a small smile back, still unbelieving that he was helping her so much, that he was willing to hide and marry a murderess. A man she barely knew. "Shall I call you Fox?" she asks. 

Mr. Mulder had flinched, just a bit, and shook his head. "Perhaps… just Mulder, if you do not mind. I have never liked my first name, and most people I know call me Mulder."

It's unusual, but it's no more unusual than the rest of this situation. Dana smiles and nods. "Well, you may call me Dana or Scully, I suppose," she said lightly, unsure of why except that he has always called her Miss Scully, like she has always called him Mr. Mulder. "Whichever appeals to you."

"Which appeals to you more, Miss Scully?" he'd asked, teasing, and then the preacher had been ready, and now here they are. 

Once, she had believed she would never get married again. Now, she is married, and she has no idea whether or not it counts. 

Mr. Mulder—Mulder—keeps hold of her hand as they go back upstairs to Emily. It's the first time anyone has held her hand in years, and she is surprised by how nice it feels, his warm and callused fingers wrapped around hers. Daniel's hands had been cool, his touch unyielding, his voice the same faux-polite sound it always was as he talked to everyone but her. Mulder's hands are gentle, holding her hand carefully—not as if it is fragile and may break, but as if it is something precious, something he cares for. She knows this is not quite the case, it cannot be, but it is nice to pretend, for just a moment, that this is a true marriage, that she and Mulder love each other as a husband and wife should. 

[monkberries]

Hi it's me again. Thank you for listening. Yes it was the lawyer discourse mixed in with general Beatles relationship discourse. You're correct to avoid Doggett's book for your emotional well-being! Sulpy's book is a lot but interesting. Right? Imagine especially from George and Ringo's POV where they were already used to Epstein and Martin playing favorites. I don't blame them at all for wanting someone who finally seemed to give a shit about them.

Oh, that’s a great point about looking at things from George and Ringo’s perspectives! I’ve always thought about it from their point of view as them kind of choosing John, but they also chose Klein because it looked like he would fight for them. That makes a lot of sense to me. In general, I don’t think people make big decisions like this out of hatred, at least not primarily. They make a decision because it looks like the best path to take at the time. For George and Ringo, based on what they knew then, Klein probably looked like the better option.

This is a weird comparison, especially if you’re not American and aren’t steeped in the rural culture here, but it’s a little like voting for Trump in 2016 was. Like he’s not the Establishment, he’s rough around the edges, he speaks bluntly, he promises that he’s an asshole but he’ll be An Asshole For You. It’s sort of understandable why someone would vote for him. And Eastman was like Hillary: upper class, Establishment, status quo, seemingly favoring certain group over the other. AND, just like 4 years later in 73/74 when George, John and Ringo realized they were wrong and sue Klein, Trump also gets defeated 4 years later. Wow. It really is a pretty clear parallel huh.

And yeah, Sulpy’s book is already A Lot and I’ve only made it through page one of the introduction and no further lmfao

[littlelambdrgnfly]

Would you ever do the ultimate beatlemaniac tag? I would LOVE to see your answers!!

Thanks for asking!

How long have you been a fan? Until I was 17, I thought they were good but just not my style, I was much more into punk music!

Favorite Beatle: John, but I adore Paul and George too. John’s just my boy, you know?

Favorite era for music: I’d have to pick mid-to-late Beatles even though I love their early stuff too! In terms of personality, I prefer the early stuff; for the music, the later stuff.

Favorite era for lewks: Teddy boy Beatles, for sure! But I’m a big fan of the moptops and basically 1966 as a whole.

Favorite song: Hey Jude just puts me on another spiritual plane, honestly. But Dear Prudence is a very close second!

Favorite album: Abbey Road. One of my old teachers used to say that Hamlet is as close as you can come to the “perfect” play, I feel that way about albums and Abbey Road. White Album and Rubber Soul are two and three!

Unpopular/Controversial Beatles opinion: They were all bastards! I love them but there’s not a single one of them without a story that makes me cringe.

A song everyone loves but you dislike: I don’t care for The Long and Winding Road, at least the Spector mix. It’s way too sentimental! The stripped version is a lot better. I also don’t really like Imagine.

A song everyone dislikes but you love: Why does everyone hate Wild Honey Pie?? I think it’s such a cute, funny little filler piece.

Your fantasy involving The Beatles: I own a bookstore in Hamburg and become friends with all the Beatles and the Exis. They think I’m super smart and cool, and I get to help them come to terms with their sexual identities, treat women and marginalized communities better, and turn them onto weed before Dylan does, lol.

Tell us about the moment you knew you were a fan: When I heard the Anthology version of “And Your Bird Can Sing” (I don’t know, lmao)

Did you ever have a genuine ‘The Beatles suck!’ phase before becoming a fan? Not really, but the first time I listened to the White Album, the vibes coming from it freaked me out so much that I didn’t listen to it all the way through for years afterward.

Favorite Beatles book: Probably Pete Shotton’s book! I love Mike’s books too, he’s such a funny guy... In terms of more academic titles, I really loved Steven Stark’s book and “You Never Give Me Your Money” by Peter Doggett.

Thoughts on the old generation of fans: I haven’t had much interaction with the older gen(s) but I find the men mostly insufferable. There was this older dude who came into the record store all the time (he bought EVERY single edition of Paul’s last album), and he actively made every Beatles fan who worked there like the band a little less.

If Hollywood were to make a high budget Beatles biopic, what is one thing you desperately hope they include? I don’t like biopics, I hope they don’t make one! If they do, it better just be about John and Paul boning for 90 minutes.

Do you read/write fanfic?: You’re on this blog, so you know this!

Are you the only one in your family/friend group to enjoy them?: My family and a number of my friends like them, but yeah, I like them the most.

Are you a shipper?: Tragically

Favorite movie starring/made by them?: AHDN! I love Yellow Submarine too and I just wish it starred them! It’s very distracting to me that it’s not their voices, lol.

Do you believe in McLennon?:  I’m like 98% positive it’s real

General opinions on McLennon?: I think they were a couple, and if they weren’t, then I think it was because of the general opinion of same-sex couples at the time and fear for their reputation. I hope it was real, but I think I could keep myself together if it wasn’t. It just makes me want to die when shippers ask these kinds of questions to their families though! God, please do NOT.

If you got to change ONE thing about their history, what would it be and why?: Brian shouldn’t have died... But if I had to chose something smaller, then there should have been more of George’s songs on the White Album.

What song has the best vocals?: Christ, I can’t even choose a top 10...

What song do you feel had no effort put into it?: More of their earlier stuff, particularly on Beatles for Sale, but Eight Days a Week really sticks out to me, even though I like that one a lot. It makes me think of that quote, “Let’s sit down and write ourselves a swimming pool!”

What is a well talked about moment in Beatles history you genuinely believe to be false?: When John met Yoko at that art show... We know that’s not real, lol.

What is something you KNOW to be true, but often gets erased in their history?: John and Paul’s whole dynamic, I feel like a lot of people just don’t get it

Least favorite look from a Beatle(s): I hate the collarless suits! I also don’t like John’s mustache.

Favorite look from a Beatle(s): Just all of 1966!!!

[socialistexan]

Texas split into 5 states.

There's was this weird anomaly in Texas's admited into the United States. See, Texas was so big at that time (land-wise, not popilation-wise just yet) that there was included language that said Texas could, at any time, split into multiple states. Now, I've seen the numbers 3, 4, and 5 thrown around for how Texas could be split up, but for me, 5 states make the most sense when you consider how the regions of Texas break up politically and geographiclly.

I think I may have posted this plan in detail before, but I may as well update it with the latest election numbers. So here's how Texas would break up:

5 states, not all equal in size or population, but cut up into areas of interest. I'll go into each "state" and how it would act politically based on the 2018 election, with some notes and with my best guess at a name.

Starting from most to least conservative'

Red River (Panhandle), possibly nicknamed "God's Texas"

Capital: Lubbock

Senators: John Cornyn (R), Jodey Arlington (R)

Governor: Dan Patrick (R)

Political leaning: R+36

Electoral votes: 6

Comparable state: Oklahoma, eerily close in size and leaning (OK is R+37)

Notes: This is the Texas people who don't know Texas think of when they of Texas. God-fearing, gun-totting, and Trump-loving to an extreme. This state would be twice as conservative as Alabama while being almost the same size. Think about that. If you want to know why Texas is still Red, this is it. This is an unbreakable Republican stronghold, 90%+ White. Even with a college town like Lubbock being its capital, this is unwaveringly conservative.

Trinity (DFW + East Texas)

Capital: Dallas

Senators: Kay Granger (R), Eddie Johnson (D)

Governor: Greg Abbott (R)

Political leaning: R+1

Electoral votes: 11

Comparable state: Arizona, just not directly on the border

Notes: This is as swingy as a swing state can be. There's one giant Democratic stronghold in Dallas (D+33) paired with extremely conservative East Texas (R+32, this is where Louie Gohmert is from btw), with Forth Worth being the decider (D+1 in 2018, R+7 in 2016).

A slightly weird region, DFW is very different from East Texas which has more in common with the Panhandle, but that's how it breaks up geographically and I wanted contiguous states. If it was just DFW, Democrats would win in a landslide, but East Texas is East Texas, so.

Trending more blue recently, though it could shift back just as easily. Trinity goes as Fort Worth goes.

Magnolia (Gulf Coast + some of the plains)

Capital: Houston

Senators: Shelia Jackson Lee (D), Ted Cruz (R)

Governor: Bill White (D)

Political leaning: D+3

Electoral votes: 14

Comparable state: Virginia/North Carolina.

Another swing state, this one even larger because the city at the center (Houston) is so gigantic. Houston, is a really Blue area right now (D+11 in 2018, D+8 in 2016), but in the past (particularly the Bush administration) this was a 50/50 area. You could split just Houston and its suburbs (Fort Bend, Galveston, Montgomery, ect) off into its own state and it still would have 10 electoral votes all by itself. This isn't a surprise, the city of Houston is majority-minority and suburbs like Sugar Land and Katy are becoming more diverse (while still being high income).

The rest of the Gulf coast, on the other hand ranges from fairly conservative to very conservative. It almost entirely balances out Houston, but not enough, especially in the Trump era. Still a swing state, but less than Trinity and trending bluer faster.

Waterloo (Central Texas)

Capital: Austin

Senators: Lloyd Doggett (D), Wendy Davis (D)

Governor: Kinky Friedman (I)

Political Leaning: D+15

Electoral votes: 7

Comparable state: Oregon, down to the major cities sharing a motto (Keep Austin/Portland Weird)

Notes: Welcome to the "People's Republic of Austin," y'all! I was surprised that this state ended up with as low as D+15. Travis County (Austin) is D+53 - for context, LA was D+44, Bernie won by a +34 in Vermont - and the next two largest counties Hays (D+13) and Williamson (D+3) were both Democratic in 2018, but all those smaller, conservative counties (Comal, Burnet, Bastrop, ect) start to add up. Not enough to take it past safely Democratic, but less than you'd expect a state centered around Austin to be.

And, of course, since Austin is Weird we would obviously elect Kinky Friedman, an Independent folk musician Twain-esque humorist who ran for Governor of Texas in 2006, to be our Governor. Hell, if Willie Nelson wanted it, he'd be Governor of Waterloo in the blink of an eye.

Bexar (Rio Grande Valley + San Antonio + West Texas), alt name: Guadalupe

Capital: San Antonio (though El Paso would get a look, too)

Senators: Beto O'Rourke (D), Joaquin Castro (D)

Governor: Julian Castro (D)

Political leaning: D+39(!!!)

Electoral votes: 8

Comparable state: Hawaii, but twice as big. Puerto Rico if it was a state.

Notes: This is where all those Presidential candidates are coming from, and both Beto and Julian Castro would have their credentials boosted by having higher offices on their resumes. I could see this area electing an even more progressive Senator, but we can only work with what we have.

This is a very heavily Latino state. It shares more in common with New Mexico than anywhere else, but has been Blue for a long time. Texas as we know it now would be blue if these areas had higher turn out (blame extreme voter ID laws and the national-level Democratic party abandoning the state). It would have two of the US's largest 25 cities (San Antonio and El Paso).

Of the 6 current Congressional seats I fit into this state (there'd be some adjustment, some cross over into different "states"), the most conservative one was the 23rd district which was won by Republican Will Hurd 49.6% to 49.2%. Yeah. This place is bluer than Vermont and 3 times the size.

[bowie-boy]

3, 4 and 7 for xfiles (or TUA whichever)

Thank you for the ask Bash ❤️❤️❤️

Why not both? Both is good!

3. For X-Files: Okay so the problem is that I only follow and keep tabs on so many X-Files blogs and those blogs seem to like almost every character, but I feel like the general fandom does not feel that way. For this question I’m gonna go with Jeffrey Spender? I’ve seen some people really like him and I just Don’t. From the moment he showed up, he was annoying as hell and tried to ruin everything. No me likey that. For Umbrella Academy: Oh man, this is a tough one. I guess for me it would be season 1 Allison? It really annoyed me how she just never shut up about Claire EVER. I get that it’s a human response to put your child above everything, even when the world is ending, but Jesus Christ can you please talk about something else? This problem went away when season 2 hit and I’m now a solid Allison stan.

4. For X-Files: Once again, I don’t have a great handle on the fandom, but I’m gonna go with John Doggett? I’ve heard people talk a lot of shit about my boy and for the life of me I can’t figure out why. What’s not to love about him? He’s the best! I love Doggett 🥺 For Umbrella Academy: Alright, I don’t think anyone HATES Hazel, but I feel like no one absolutely loves him. But I do! I love Hazel so much! He was probably in my top 3 favorite characters for season 1 honestly, and I was really sad about the lack of him in season 2. We stan Hazel in this house.

7. For X-Files: I want to be like Fox Mulder. I already am, sort of, in more ways than one, but there could always be more! He is, in almost every way, everything I want to be. Mulder for sure. For Umbrella Academy: See this is a funny one because every single character on this show is way more fucked up than I am. I think I RELATE to Diego the most: protecting our moms from abusive fathers, trans, etc. I think I would want to be the most like Agnes, hear me out. She has a job as a donut lady, she’s super nice, she loves to watch the birds, and she drops everything to run off with some hot younger guy to the country. That’s like my dream life? Yes please, I will slam the button to be Agnes.

[kyouryokusenshi]

A Dog Named Hunter

Co-Authored with Billie Reid

Post My Struggle IV. What is next for Mulder and Scully? AU

Tagging: @today-in-fic

LONG FIC AHEAD

Mulder had been taking care of Scully since she had given birth to their daughter two weeks ago. After a thirty hours of a long, painful and difficult labor, Gracie Katherine made it into the world. Thankfully, nothing was wrong with either of them. Scully was just tired and sore. As Scully rested in bed with Gracie, Mulder washed the clothes and cleaned the house. Scully was nesting right up to the time of labor, so not much needed to be done. He was sitting and folding clothes when he heard some whimpering sounds. He knew Gracie was about to wake up. He walked into the bedroom and over to the bassinet. "What's wrong, baby girl?" Mulder picked her up and kissed her head. He glanced over and Scully was smiling at him. "Hey, you."

Scully smiled at Mulder. She never realized how much he had wanted to be a father until now. It wasn't until she told him she was pregnant that she realized he had been holding his feelings back for her sake for so long. "Hey yourself," she said. "I just fed her, so she can't be hungry just yet. Sometimes I wish we were younger, I don't have the same energy I did seventeen years ago," she managed a smile.

He smiled and leaned down and kissed her. "Get some rest. I will change her and put her back down. If you're going to be okay, I'm going to run out and get some food for dinner."

Scully smiled. "Thank you," she was eager for some rest.

Mulder kissed her again. "Say, I will be right back mommy." He waved Gracie's little hand at Scully. He then headed to the nursery and put her on the changing table. "So baby, Gracie..." he smiled at his daughter. “Hope you're not leaving all the bad ones for just me," he said as he opened her diaper and saw the surprise. "That's what's wrong, sweetie," he teased as she cleaned her up and started singing to her.

Scully smiled as she could hear Mulder from the baby monitor. She immediately thought of Monica Reyes. She hadn't seen her since the night they were racing after William. Last she heard, she had met up with John Doggett. She fell asleep thinking she'd text or call her when she got up.

Mulder finished and took Gracie to the bassinet in their room. He then put the clothes up and headed to town for food. He walked into the store and got everything they needed from diapers to food and milk and even ice cream. He smiled and paid for his items when he was done. He walked out and loaded the car up and then he heard something.

"Stop!"

Mulder turned to see what was going on. He was met with a four-legged creature and a wagging tail.

"I'm sorry, mister," the teenage boy said to him.

"It's okay," Mulder replied. "Cute dog." Mulder looked at the kid then back to the dog. "Sit," he said.

The boy was in shock when the dog sat. "Wow, he doesn't normally listen."

Mulder smiled. "Saturn voice."

The boy was holding the collar and looked over towards at the park. "You should come over and adopt him. We have others out for open adoption day."

Mulder smiled as he pet the dog. Their family wouldn't be complete without a dog. "Oh really, I will definitely come."

The boy smiled. "Great, follow me and I will take you to the lady with the application." The boy led him over to an older blonde woman. "Maria, this gentleman would like an application for this little guy here."

Maria looked up. "Thanks, Jack." she looked at him. "So you want our little escape artist?"

Mulder nodded. "Yeah, I do," he tried to brush aside thoughts of Scully's reaction.

She smiled. "Fill this out. He's neutered and is up to date on his shots," she handed over the paper to him.

He took the paper and filled it out on a whim without thinking. This was going to be perfect.

She smiled. "Today is our special, any dog we have here is only $25.00. No home inspection or anything. Hunter is all yours."

Mulder handed back the papers and opened his wallet. "Wow, just like that huh? And he's healthy and everything?"

She took the paper and filled out the receipt. "He is perfectly healthy. He loves people. I think he saw you and got away from Jack. Guess he picked his owner. He a nine month old lab mix. We named him Hunter, but you are encouraged to pick a different name for him," she handed him the recite and the leash. "Congratulations, Mr. Mulder," she smiled and put the money in the box.

Mulder nodded and smiled. "He chose me, huh?" He chuckled. "Well, that is an honor. The only other person who would agree is my wife."

She smiled. "Have fun with him, Sir." The dog sat there looking at him, wagging his tail.

Mulder looked down at him as he took the leash in his hand. He ruffled the dog's fur. "Well, looks like we got to get you some food and stuff before you come home with me," he smiled.

"Ruff!"

Mulder walked back to his car and opened the door to the driver's side. He put the keys in the ignition and rolled down the windows about halfway. Thankfully, the weather had began to cool down. It was finally feeling like fall. "I'm going to get you some food and stuff, Bud, before we go to your new home. Guard the car for me while you wait?" He closed and locked the door.

The boy that had the dog, watched with a smile.

He sat in the car and barked at everyone, but wagged his tail each time when someone walked by.

Mulder quickly grabbed some basics they would need for the dog and the groceries he needed that were on his list. He headed back to the car and figured he'd grab some takeout for lunch.

Scully was playing with Gracie while she waited for Mulder to return. "Daddy will be home soon, Sweetie. I hope so, I'm hungry."

Hunter laid down in the passenger seat for the car ride home with Mulder.

Meanwhile, Mulder tried to contemplate how he was going to explain this to Scully on the way back. He had stopped and picked up some hamburgers and fries along the way.

Scully was laying on the bed with Gracie. "I think I hear daddy pulling in."

She stood up and picked Gracie up. "Let's go see if that's him." She walked out of the bedroom and headed downstairs to the living room.

Mulder took a deep breath as he got out of the car and went around to get Hunter. "Hey Bud, we're home!"

Hunter jumped down out of the car, wagging his tail and smelling the ground. He found a spot in the grass and did his business.

Scully was at the door with Gracie in her arms. Scully's eyes went wide when she saw the dog.

Mulder looked at her like a deer in headlights and tried to manage a smile. "Hi...Merry...early...Christmas?" He had no idea he would be bringing home a dog today.

"Mulder, I said I wanted food. Not a dog."

"Well, you'll be happy to know that I did remember to get the food. Scully, meet Hunter."

She raised her eyebrow at him. "We have a two week old baby. We don't have time for a dog, Mulder." She was upset but didn't want to yell with Gracie in her arms.

Mulder walked up the stairs with Hunter, who sat down in front of them with his best puppy eyes, as did Mulder. "Aww, Scully. Don't worry, I'll do all the feeding and clean up. You won't have to worry about a thing. He'll be good company for us when you go back to work."

She looked from the puppy to Mulder and just turned and walked back into the house and back up to the bedroom. She put Gracie down in the bassinet.

Mulder followed her and looked over at Hunter. "Let's see your new house," he walked inside, keeping hold of the leash. "You'll have plenty of freedom outside too."

Hunter followed him around, smelling things. He saw a bag and went over to smell it. Mulder looked over. "That's a diaper bag. Off limits to you," he said. The dog walked away on his journey.

Scully walked back down and to the kitchen.

Mulder turned back to Scully. "Oh, that's right. I need to grab the stuff from the car. I got you lunch." Mulder removed the leash still attached to Hunter and he followed Mulder back outside as he made a few trips.

Scully shook her head. Sometimes she just wanted to strangle him. She got an ice tea and sat at the table.

Mulder came in with the food and put a bag in front of her. He then got the ketchup and sat it down. He then gave hunter some food and water before sitting next to Scully to eat. "Look, I'm sorry. I promise I will take care of him, you and Gracie."

Hunter ate a few bites and laid down near them. He then got up and walked around. Gracie was laying in her bassinet making a few sounds. Hunter was off investigating.

Scully sat down to eat with Mulder with a long sigh. "We have to talk about these things, Mulder. Communication is what makes a relationship work."

Mulder sighed. "I know...I'm sorry. When I saw him, I just knew he had to be with us."

Hunter followed the noise and was smelling the bassinet.

Hunter sniffed at the bassinet and was looking at it wondering why it was making noise. Hunter comes down and licks Mulder's hand excitedly and trying to get his attention.

He did it again and ran up the stairs. Waiting to see if he follows. Scully looked over. "He's trying to tell you something, Mulder."

Mulder looked over at Scully. "What do you mean?" He asked as he went up the stairs.

Hunter wagged his tail and went to the noise again. Gracie was whimpering. Hunter danced around the bassinet and Gracie was almost to the point of a full on wail.

"That's your baby sister, Hunter, you have to be careful with her though," Mulder said as he picked her up.

Gracie cooed at her dad. Hunter walked over and sniffed them. He huffed and shook his head at the bad smell.

"Oh no, I guess that means you need another diaper change!" He looked from Hunter to his daughter.

Gracie yawned. Hunter licked Gracie's hand. Scully was wondering what was going on she headed up stairs. "Mulder, what are you doing?"

"Apparently Hunter realized she needed a change before we did," he said as he got to work

"I don't want that dog near her," Scully replied protectively.

Mulder looked at Scully in shock. "What? If we introduce them early, they'll bond faster. I thought you wanted a dog."

"That was before we had Gracie," she walked over. "Come on, mutt." She patted her leg.

Hunter followed her out of the room and back downstairs. Scully looked at the puppy when she got there. "You are a cutie," she admitted, petting his head. "I just wish he'd have asked." She went to the couch and the puppy followed.

When Mulder was done changing her, he set Gracie back in the crib and walked back down the stairs. He stopped when he saw Scully. "See I knew you'd come around. Who can resist him?"

She looked over. "You're going to have to train him. And let him know to be gentle with Gracie."

Mulder smiled and wrapped his arm around her. "Of course I will," he said and kissed her.

She kissed him back. She could never stay mad at him. She was so in love with him, it was hard to stay mad for too long. She rested her head on his shoulder.

"Just wait, they'll be best friends before you know it. You wished for a puppy and got one, right?" He teased.

She looked at him. "Why would I want a dog or a puppy when I have my Fox?" She teased.

"Well thank you, you look pretty foxy yourself," he grinned.

------- It had taken a few months, but Hunter was finally learning some basic tricks, such as sit, roll over, lie down and shake. Mulder's favorite nickname for him was Buddy. He knew Scully wouldn't admit it, but she enjoyed having him around too. He was so attentive to Gracie and though William came around from time to time to visit, they lived in the country and didn't have many close friends or family. It was good for her to have a close playmate.

Gracie was enjoying playing on the blanket on the floor with some of her toys. Playing with some of her plastic balls. They'd go rolling away from her and she'd just watch it, trying to figure out how to get to it. Just then, the Hunter picked it up and took it to her, then licked her hand and laid down in front of her. She giggled and pushed the ball out again. The puppy stopped it and with his nose pushed it back.

Scully looked over and couldn't help but smile. She was really happy Gracie had a friend. "I hate to admit it Mulder, but I think you were right. I really missed having a dog."

He looked at her. "Can I trust you with him? After what happened with Queequeg and Dagoo?" he teased

Scully shrugged, "Well, I lost Queequeg on that one case remember? Don't tell me you're suffering from dementia already," she teased. "As for Dagoo, I worked with a nice rescue to find him a home after my landlord found out. Unfortunately, having a dog at the time wasn't realistic with our cases either," she frowned.

"So, now that we are together as a family. It's the right time for us to finally be happy."

Mulder played with her fingers as he watched Gracie and buddy play."Yeah, that's what I whispered in the church, remember?"

"So you also wished for Buddy?" Mulder pulled her hand up and kissed her knuckles.

"Well, I wished for another puppy, so you were close. Only it wasn't God this time, it was Fox Mulder that delivered."

He smiled at her. "You know, we put her down for a nap. Want to try for another one?" he wiggled his eye brows at her.

"Oh God, you can't be serious, Mulder! Gracie was a surprise and impossible surprise, but we're in our fifties!"

"And fifties are the new thirties. We are still young."

"Well, we are in great shape, I must admit, but don't get your hopes up. What happened was a medical miracle," she smiled. "She's our one in five billion, to be exact."

"Good. I was worried you were getting tired of the sex," he whispered

"Oh no, what made you think that?" "Just making sure," he smirked. "And Gracie is healthy and amazing," he kissed her neck.

Gracie yawned and tried to roll over onto her back. It took her a bit, but she got it.

They both looked over in surprise. "Oh wow, she's sitting up," Mulder said

"She is!" Scully smiled at Mulder. "Just look at her, she's going to be so smart."

"Just like her mom," Mulder smiled.

Just then there was a knock at the door.

Buddy started barking. Gracie fell over and started crying. Scully went and picked up Gracie. "It's okay, Sweetie."

Mulder stood up. He hadn't heard any cars. "I'll go look, you stay here." He looked through the peep hole and opened the door to see Jackson.

Scully was doing her best to calm Gracie down.

Jackson looked at Mulder. "Hi."

Mulder looked at Jackson. "What are you doing here?" Mulder smiled at him. "Come in."

"Scully...we have company," he said as he shut the door once Jackson walked in. Buddy was looking at him, unsure.

The dog barked.

"It's okay, bud." Mulder said, petting his head. "Good boy though."

Scully stood up and went to pick up Gracie. Hunter got down and rolled over for Jackson to rub his belly.

Mulder smiled at them as Scully walked around the corner. She was shocked and happy to see him.

"Will... Jackson." she said and walked over to them.

Jackson looked at Gracie with wide eyes. He saw her in the visions he shared with Scully, but he had never seen her in person before, so he stood there in shock. "Hi," he said.

Scully was rocking Gracie, calming her down. Gracie glances over at the new person in the room and stops fussing. She smiles at him and starts cooing.

"Come in and have a seat. Can I get you something to drink?" Scully asked.

Jackson couldn't help but smile back. His head started to hurt a little. If he didn't know any better, he would say she was trying to communicate with him. He looked up and realized Scully had asked him something. "Oh, uh some juice if you have it. Thanks."

She nodded and smiled. She stepped forward and handed Gracie to him. He reluctantly took her into his arms and looked down at her.

Mulder walked back to the living area where Jackson was. "Your--Scully told me about the visions, so we knew you were okay...but we were worried, are you okay?"

Jackson's gaze was fixed on the baby in his arms. "Oh uh... I'm handling it pretty well."

Mulder smiled. "She's really taken to you. She hasn't been around many people."

Jackson smiled nervously. "And I'm surprised you guys trust me, I've never held a baby before. I mean I've seen her, but I'm still shocked you know?"

"Why wouldn't we trust you?" Mulder said as he petted Hunter.

Gracie cooed up that the new person holding her.

Jackson sat next to him and moved his finger towards Gracie's cheek. "I know you know Dana and I do through the visions, but we haven't spent much real time together you know? What is her name?" Scully returned with the drinks from the kitchen and set them down on the table in front of them.

"Graciela...but we call her Gracie."

Jackson smiled. "Such a pretty name for such a cute little girl." He was surprised with himself. He hadn't really been around little kids much.

Scully sat down next to Mulder. He smiled and rubbed her back some. Scully bit her lip, as much as she wanted to fawn over him, she didn't. It felt different now after knowing the truth. She was sure Mulder heard her crying at night while she was still pregnant after everything that happened that night. She felt like her life was a lie. She didn't know what to believe.

Jackson could sense something was off. He hesitated before handing Gracie back to Mulder. "Uhh, maybe I should go. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to come here."

Mulder took her. "Stay, you two need to talk I'm sure. I'm going to go put her down for a nap. If you need anything, let me know," Mulder said as he took Gracie upstairs.

Scully watched him leave. She glanced back at Jackson. "I'm glad you're okay." She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to push back tears. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. "I'm... I'm so sorry Will--Jackson. For everything."

Jackson fumbled with his hands and looked down. "You don't have to be sorry for anything. I had a good childhood for the most part until I was older. My adoptive parents, they loved me even if they didn't always understand why I could do things."

"I thought your uncle put a stop to that. You used to move your mobile in the crib. You scared your Aunt Monica and me once. "

"He did? I'm still learning things about myself and I know there are others like me, but I'm different than the others."

She nodded. "Because you are special. What would you like to know?"

He nodded. "Umm, well there's this man, he says he's my creator...the one who shot me. But Mulder thinks he's my father."

"Carl is his name, we knew him as the smoking man and he's behind a lot of the conspiracies about aliens since Roswell," she looked at him. "Wait, what was that?"

"How come he doesn't see the visions?" Jackson asked looking around to make sure Mulder was out of earshot.

"I'm thinking because I have the alien DNA as you do, but his was deactivated."

"Oh I see," he said. Just then, Hunter came running up to them and buried his nose between Jackson's knees. "It looks like he wants to go for a walk," Scully said. "We should take him out and we can talk more."

He nodded. "Where's the leash?" he stood up and followed her

Jackson found the leash and clipped it onto him and walked outside with her. "How are you doing?" he asked.

Scully tried to manage a smile. "I'm fine, it took a while to recover after having Gracie and we've been worried about you."

"She looks like you," he smiled

Scully smiled as she walked behind their house to the trail they often took. "Well, it's possible her features could change as she gets older."

"So, she'll be cuter," he smiled. "So how upset is he?"

"You actually looked a lot like her as a baby," she said. "Upset? What do you mean?"

"What you said to him, It's not true."

Scully stopped suddenly. "What did I say?"

"What you told him at the docks about me."

"Oh, you heard that?" Scully felt awkward and uncomfortable. "I uh, I didn't mean to say those things. Not like that. Our friend had told me shortly before that...the smoking man was your father. And then I ran into you. Then finding out you had died. I'm so sorry...I was overwhelmed and not thinking clearly. Of course I didn't mean it. I was just in shock."

"The old man isn't my dad. I found records that Mulder is."

Scully looked at him in shock. "Where?" she was afraid to hope.

He pulled a piece of folded paper out of his back pocket and handed it to her.

Scully took it from him slowly. "Is this what you found from the Crossroads Project?"

He nodded. "I wanted to make sure."

He looked at her. "Who's Emily?"

The thought of Emily brought some unexpected emotion to Scully. Gracie actually looked a lot like her. "She was your sister, I didn't carry her though. I didn't give birth to her like you and Gracie. My ova were taken and used to create her, but when I finally met her, she was very sick and she died."

"You sure?" he pulled out another paper. It listed everything from her illness to what happened to her. "They couldn't continue with you around. They put her in a coma and made her look dead."

He stepped closer to her, not sure how she'd take the news.

Scully looked at him in shock. "Are you saying you think she's still alive?" Scully thought for a moment. Emily would be about twenty four years old right now.

He nodded. "That's her paper work. She and I are both yours and Mulder's. His sperm from when he was abducted the first time and your ova." "Wow, this is just...so much to take in. I don't know what to say," Scully felt lightheaded.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to spring all this on you at once."

Scully sighed. "Do you have any idea where she could be?"

"You think I'd come here with all this and not tell you that part?" he smiled

Hunter went and did his business as they stopped. "Where?"

"About 30 miles from here, actually. She's a doctor at a hospital," he smiled.

"Oh really? It wouldn't happen to be mine would it?" She'd been on leave since they went back to the FBI and didn't have plans to return to work for another few weeks.

"You are good," he smiled at her. "I've met up with her. She was shocked to find out she was filling in for you. She adored you and hates the people that took her away from you."

Scully's eyes widened. "She remembers all of that? And you have talked to her?" It was a lot to take in. Hunter ran back to them once he was finished. "We should tell Mulder," she said.

He took her arm as she stumbled. "You still need to be resting,"

Scully wanted to protest but realized he was right. "Okay, but afterwards we go," she insisted.

He started walking back to the house with her and hunter.

Mulder came back down the stairs with Gracie and walked onto the porch. He could tell something was up.

Scully saw Mulder. "Go to daddy, Hunter," she unclipped his leash.

Hunter ran up the porch towards them. Scully grabbed onto the railing. "What's going on?" Mulder asked.

Scully looked at him and handed the papers Jackson gave her to him and then took Gracie inside. Jackson sat on the step and petted Hunter while waiting for a reaction.

Then Mulder looked up in shock, he was afraid to hope as well. "Where did you get these?"

"I've been out searching."

Mulder still couldn't get over that Skinner and Scully had been mislead. He smiled. "Well, when I saw your room, there wasn't a doubt in my mind. You're just as weird as me, kid," he teased.

He laughed. "Oh yeah, like that makes it better," he teased back.

Scully smiled at them. Only thing missing now was Emily. She looked down at Gracie in her arms and smiled.

Jackson's phone beeped. "I should get going. I'm supposed to meet a...friend."

"Oh a girlfriend?" Mulder asks. Scully looked over at Mulder. "Mulder, we have to go look for her."

"Mo...Dana," he started to call her mom. "You need to rest. When it's time, it'll happen." "And no...not a girlfriend." He stood up and looked at them. "I will see you guys soon."

Scully moved to hug him unexpectantly. "Please be careful and um...come back soon?"

He hugged her back. "Oh, I will,” he touched Gracie's face. "Bye, Sweetie."

Gracie lifted her arm towards him and babbled.

He smiles. "You be a good girl okay, Gracie? I will see you soon too."

Mulder stood up. He walked down the steps with him. "You need anything, you call okay and you are more than welcome to stop by anytime."

Jackson nodded and hugged Mulder too. Mulder was stunned silent and then pulled back a minute later. "Hey, that was better than last time," he joked. Jackson grinned with embarrassment. "See you guys later," he said and took off to his car.

Jackson headed into town. He planned to meet up with Emily and talk to her about things more too.

Mulder looked back at Scully and smiled.

"I can't believe Emily is alive," she said, afraid to hope.

"I will look into it as well see what I can find out. Let's take one step at a time okay? Why don't we head inside and watch a movie and relax. I will start looking afterwards, okay?" Mulder took Gracie from her arms.

Scully looked over at Mulder and nodded. "Okay," she couldn't help but feel anxious.

Scully fell asleep against Mulder halfway through the movie. He looked over and reached over to pull the blanket over her.

Meanwhile Jackson drove into the city and to the restaurant where he was supposed to meet up with Emily.

Jackson walks over to her. "Hey," he said and sat down. "I know you're on break, so I will make this quick. These papers are everything I have gotten when I was looking into the CDC and the projects. Right down to everything. We finally have proof," he smiled at Emily as he handed her the papers to read over.

Emily took the papers. "I take it you told them?" She asked. She had gotten word that Dr. Dana Scully was returning to this hospital after an extended leave and each passing day made her nervous.

"I did," he said. "She wants to meet you. She's missed you...and she even smiled when she looked down at Gracie. She said she reminded her of you."

Emily got teary eyed for a second. "Oh God, I have to meet with a patient in fifteen minutes, I can't be crying," she laughed. She was nervous but relieved her mother hadn't stopped thinking about her.

He smiled at her. "Dad's leery of course...think he's being strong in case something happens."

Emily nodded nervously. It was going to happen sooner than later and she'd rather it be sooner. "Yes, that sounds great."

He smiled. "Sounds great, you have my number. I will call you with a day and time." He stood up and stood next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I'm glad things are finally coming together for us." Emily smiled. "Me too, see you soon."

"Take care, sis," he smiled and headed off.

Two days later, Jackson stopped back by the house and knocked.

Mulder had been out for a run and swore he saw Jackson's car, so be began to jog back. Scully was startled by the door. It couldn't have been Mulder unless he forgot his key again. There wasn't much need to lock the door during the day as no one was around for miles, but with their history you couldn't be too safe. Scully had just got done putting Gracie in one of those baby carriers so she could get some things done around the house. She walked to the door and opened it. She couldn't hold back her excitement. "Jackson, I didn't expect to see you back so soon," she said.

"Oh...you um, want me to leave?" he teased. He knew how happy she was when she saw him, but the teasing side he guessed he got from his dad.

Scully smiled. "No, don't be ridiculous. I just didn't want to get my hopes up."

"So, mind if I come in and talk to you and Mulder?"

"Yeah, Mulder isn't back yet, but he should be soon."

"I can come back then."

Just then, Gracie let out a cry. She could sense who was at the door and she wanted to see him.

Scully smiled. "Someone wants you to stay," she said.

He smiled. "She in the living room?" he asked just as Hunter ran to him, wagging his tail. "Yes, she is." Scully was happy they seemed to like each other a lot already.

He walked into the living room. "Hey Cutie," he picked her up. He looked over at Scully. "You think we could all have dinner say...tomorrow?" he asked. Scully looked at him in surprise. "Of course," she looked at him curiously

He smiled at her. "Good...someone wants to meet you too."

"Mind if I take a picture of Gracie to send to Em?"

"Oh, so you two have been in contact with each other?" Scully was surprised.

"I have for a while, yes. Once I found the information out from the CDC and the projects. I was shocked when I found out I had a sister. I tracked her down." Jackson was playing with Gracie as he held her.

Just then, Mulder came in the door and looked at them both in surprise. He looked over and smiled at Jackson. "Hey you."

He walked over and handed Gracie to Mulder. "I just stopped by to see if dinner tomorrow night with all of us would be okay."

He didn't want him thinking he was doing something behind his back. Mulder took Gracie.

"Oh? Who's all if you don't mind me asking? You bringing a girlfriend over?" he teased.

"No. You, Mo.. Dana, me and Emily," Jackson filled him in on. Mulder looked over at Scully.

Scully felt anxious all of a sudden. She was afraid to believe, but hopeful at the same time. She had a feeling the meeting would change their lives.

"You okay with this, Dana?" Mulder asked, worried about her.

"I don't think I have a choice, I go back to work soon. I can't not know, Mulder."

He then smiled down at Gracie in his arms. "Jackson want to take hunter for a walk with me?"

Jackson nodded. "Uh sure," he felt like something was up.

He handed Gracie over to Dana. "Come on, Hunter. Time for a walk."

Hunter was listening pretty well, so he didn't need to put the leash on him. Mulder opened the door and walked down the steps. He looked over at Jackson. "I looked into the info you gave us and I found the same thing. So you trust this…Emily? Scully may want to do a DNA test to check for sure."

Jackson nodded. "I haven't had any off putting visions about her. I can usually sense right away if something is off about someone, like the guy I got a car ride with while you were following me all those months ago."

"So you believe her, then?"

He kept an eye on Hunter. "I just don't want your mom upset again. I don't like seeing her upset."

Jackson nodded. "I know, that's why I waited to tell you guys. I wanted to be sure also."

He nodded. "Okay, I hope you're right," he said and put him arm around him.

Jackson smiled. "So she showed you the papers? I'm sorry you had believe that as long as you did," hoping Mulder knew what he was referring to.

Pulls him closer. "I knew deep down in my heart I was your father. I never doubted it. Just hate when others use my family against me."

Jackson smiled. "Good."

"So...where are you staying at?"

Meanwhile, Emily texts Jackson back. "She's a cutie…You didn't tell them about Molly did you?"

Jackson ran his hand through his hair. "Umm, this motel nearby. The owner thinks I'm a middle aged guy on a work trip."

"Above the garage is like a small apartment if you need a place," he looked over at Hunter. "Come on, boy. Let's head home."

Emily was starting to panic that Jackson told them. She wanted to do it. She was finally able to get away from the project when she was twenty one, but not before they impregnated her. So far they have left them alone, but she always worried when she was at work and Molly was at the sitters.

Jackson smiled. "If you're sure I won't be a bother."

"I doubt it," he smiled "I'm sure Scully would enjoy the company when I'm gone."

"Jack…please tell me you didn't!" Emily sent another message

"Come on son, let's head back to the house."

"About lunch tomorrow?"

"Is it a go... and don't tell them about Molly, please."

"Yes and no, don't worry, I haven't said anything."

"Why am I so nervous?" she was dropping Molly off before work

"There's nothing to be worried about, Em. If it helps, Mom's nervous about you too."

"Mom huh? You're already to that?" she smiled and kissed her daughter. She then headed to work.

-----

Emily went to work and while doing her rounds, something caught her attention. She stopped and looked over the markers on the wall. Dana K Scully, head doctor. She smiled and traced her fingers over it. She knew who she was filling in for, but she never thought in a million years that's she'd be this close to her again. She always wondered if they'd run into each other again and if so, would she know? Jackson found her almost a year ago. It's been a slow course, but they needed to make sure things were done right. She couldn't risk it with Molly around. She smiled as she pulled out her phone and looked at the picture Jackson sent. It was of Gracie. Her sister. In the background was her mom standing there smiling at Jackson and Gracie. She bit her lip. She asked to switch shifts for tomorrow to have off. She couldn't wait. She started walking down the hall to do her job.

The day dragged on, but when she was finished with work, Emily picked Molly up from her friend and sitter, Jane. Jane looked at Emily. "I'm not going to be able to watch Molly for a while. My dad is in the hospital and I'm flying down to be with him. I'm sorry, Em," she said, worried.

Emily's eyes went wide. "No, don't worry, go be with him. I hope everything will be okay. Keep me updated okay?" Jane nodded. "Of course I will." They had been friends for a few years, so Emily knew she could trust her with Molly. She picked up her daughter who was sound asleep and carried her out to the car.

How was she going to explain this to Jackson? Sighing, she pulled into her driveway and parked the car. Getting Molly, she took her inside and up to bed. She went and sat on the couch and texted her brother. "My sitter is flying out to be with her dad. I'm going to have to cancel lunch tomorrow, I have no one to watch Molly." She leaned back, dreading his reply.

Jackson looked at his phone and frowned. "Oh no, well maybe you can bring her...we'll figure something out."

"I can't leave her in the car while we eat."

Emily soon feel asleep on the couch. She didn't know if she should risk meeting them again after all these years, let alone introduce them to Molly at the same time.

"Of course you won't, bring her with us. They won't bite."

She woke up and saw her message from Jackson. It was early and she couldn't believe she slept on the couch. She got up and started cleaning and getting ready. "Sorry I fell asleep, I hope they like her then."

"Are you sure you don't want them to know about Molly yet? We can trust them."

"They are going to find out sooner or later. I was just hoping to meet them first."

She got Molly up and got her some cereal. She then had her get her bath and get ready for the day while she did the same. "We are going to go meet some people today, okay Sweetie?"

Molly looked at her. "Okay, Mama."

"And when we get there, I'm going to leave you in the car to make sure they are home first and then I will come get you."

Jackson had stayed over that night with Mulder and Scully and he had to admit, it was nice waking up in a warm bed. He was eager for them to meet Emily, but anxious at the same time.

Scully was up early making brownies, getting salad ready and cleaning

She made a pie too. She was going to keep it simple with hot dogs, hamburgers and that kind of thing.

Mulder was up keeping Gracie busy as he got some laundry done while he helped Scully.

"Wow, Scully. I forgot how impressive you were when it comes to cooking," Mulder said.

Jackson came down the stairs after sleeping in some. He woke up a few times from hearing Gracie cry at night. "Wow, Dana...that's impressive.”

She smiled. "Always been used to cooking for a big family. Always helped my mom."

---- Emily was just about to head over. She texted Jackson. "What should I bring over? I wasn't even thinking."

"I think there's plenty here, Em...maybe some drinks. Some soda? Dana doesn't keep that kind of stuff here according to Mulder."

"Okay, I will get a few bottles and be right there." She put Molly in the car along with her purse and Molly's things. She headed for the store and bought four two liter bottles and headed over to their place.

She got there easy enough and parked the car in front. After admiring the unremarkable little house, she decided to go inside. "Let me go see if they are home, Sweetie, okay?" "Okay, Mommy." Emily got out, but left her door open. She walked up to the door and knocked.

Scully was nervously cleaning at this point and she teased Mulder about being a slob. She nearly jumped at the sound of the door.

Mulder looked over at her and checked Gracie before walking to the door. He opened it up. Emily was standing there nervously waiting.

Emily looked at him. "Hi,” she said and smiled.

She licked her lips. Mulder looked at her. "Emily?" he asked. She nodded her head. "Wow, you haven't changed all that much."

Scully stood there, trying her best to find the words and was struggling. All the rehearsing she did went out the window. "Hi, uh…come in."

She made a face. "Um…I brought someone. Is that okay?"

Mulder put his arm around Scully who nodded. "Who did you bring?" she asked, somewhat uncertain.

Emily didn't answer right away. She went back to her car, unbuckled Molly and helped her out. She looked at her. “Come on, Sweetie." Emily took her hand and walked back to the door where they still stood. She took a shaky breath. "This is Molly...my daughter."

Scully was overwhelmed this was so much to take in. If this was true, did that make her a....grandmother?!! "She's adorable. Hi Sweetie."

Molly looked at her then to her mom and grabbed a hold of her leg and hid. Emily smiled. "Sorry, she's like this with new people." She turned to see Jackson standing behind them. "Hey Molly, look who it is!" Emily pointed to him.

Molly ran to Jackson and clung to him. He could sense Dana wanted to do a DNA test, but would wait to ask her. He couldn't blame her for wanting hard evidence after all these years. He recalled her doing one on him when she found him and thought he was dead.

Emily smiled at them. "I brought some drinks. I will grab those quickly. And I will explain her later," she whispered to them

She grabbed the drinks and shut her doors. She then went inside with them, still nervous.

Mulder looked at Scully as Jackson picked Molly up. "Want to see a baby?"

"Baby?" She said.

"Yes," Scully said and she went to pick up Gracie. "This is Gracie."

"acie?" she couldn't say all words right just yet, but she was smart. Molly smiled and leaned forward and kissed her head. Jackson held tight as she moved in his arms.

Gracie reached towards Molly and cooed. Scully smiled. "It's nice having visitors. She hasn't been around many people yet."

Emily smiled. She went over to see her as well. "She’s a cutie," then something familiar caught her eye. She looked at Dana and she saw the cross necklace. She reached out towards her and touched it. Scully tensed up slighly and then relaxed as she remembered. "You...remember...this?" Her voice wavered slightly.

She nodded. "Yes…you gave it to me when I was younger. They took it from me when they took me from you," she frowned

Scully fought back the tears. This had to be her Emily. She reached out and hugged her.

Emily smiled and hugged back. "I've missed you so much," she whispered.

"For so long...I thought," her voice broke.

"What happened, where have you been?" Scully had so many questions. "How did you find Wi--Jackson?"

She pulled back some. "I will explain it all once she's down for a nap. I don't let her know what all has happened to me," she looked over at Jackson. "He found me actually. About eight months ago or so." Scully nodded in understanding. "Oh I see." She was glad they seemed to get along well so far. "Well, are you guys hungry?"

Molly had her head on Jackson's shoulder but nodded. Mulder smiled and tickled her. "Hey, let's go get food before they do," he held his arms out towards her.

Emily smiled at Mulder. She remembered he was goofy with her too.

"I don't get to have dinner with other people very often," Emily smiled. "Thank you."

Scully smiled. "Me either... I'm stuck with him," she nods towards Mulder and smiled.

"Is it because I'm Spooky?"

"Yeah, maybe a little," she smiled.

"Thanks," he said.

"I still can't believe you work at Our Lady of Sorrows," Scully said, looking back at Emily.

Emily looked at her. "I was just a fill in at another hospital then got a call to cover a woman on maternity leave."

"Ahh I see," Scully couldn't help but feel proud of the fact that her daughter must have been incredibly smart to be working as a doctor already. And the woman on maternity leave had to be her, though it was possible someone else could have gone. She had been away from the hospital for close to two years.

"You need help with anything?" Emily asked.

Mulder made a funny face at Molly.

Scully shook her head. "It’s all done," she handed Gracie to her. "I will get the plates."

Emily couldn't believe how well Molly and Mulder were getting on.

Molly giggled at him. "You’re silly." Hunter went under the table and hoped for leftover droppings of food.

Molly was talking to her mom as she ate. Hunter took her hotdog and laid down on the floor and munched away. Jackson was the only one who noticed and grinned.

Molly looked and was shocked, but kept talking. Mulder was feeding Gracie and listening. All of them were enjoying this time together. Jackson was so happy he now had a family and siblings.

He held out a piece of meat under the table for Hunter on the sly while he talked. "Man, I kind of wish we had a dog growing up."

Scully looked over. "I've had a few…don't ask your dad about it though," she warned.

"Oh, why not?" He was curious now. Hunter licked his fingers and walked away.

Mulder looked over. "Oh, she keeps losing them."

Jackson frowned. "Is that so?" Scully turned to Mulder. "Well if you hadn't insisted on bringing Queequeg along on that case..."

"Oh, so it's my fault?" he teased.

"Something like that.....so you better take care of this one."

"You said you'd take care of Hunter," she sighed. "So…onto something else.”

------

After dinner, Emily decided Molly needed to rest. "So...we should probably talk,'" she suggested to Mulder and Scully as she and Jackson helped clean up. Scully nodded. "We have an extra bed in the nursery, she can sleep in Gracie's room."

Emily smiled. "Thanks." She helped and then took Molly upstairs for a nap. When she was asleep, she came back downstairs.

She looked at them once she sat down in the living room. "So where to start...once they took me from you, they put me into a coma. I was taken away and awake. They continued all their testing on me. It took years, but finally I was cured. Then it was onto a new test. It took three times, but I became pregnant from their testing. I destroyed the computers, burnt the place down and ran away."

Mulder and Scully looked at her in shock. Scully recalled Sveta, who was close to Emily's age. "Do...you have the marks?" Mulder asked. Emily looked at him then to Jackson. She knew what he was referring to. She stood up and lifted her shirt. She didn't have as many, but they were there. Scully gasped. Part of her couldn't help but feel afraid for Gracie when she was pregnant, but she had run every rest imaginable. She had the same worries when she was pregnant with William.

"Look I know this is hard…I'm sorry."

Scully shook her head. "No, you don't need to be sorry, baby...." she said without realizing it. I'm sorry you had to go through that. It was one of the reasons I had to give up Will--Jackson and sometimes I'm afraid for Gracie too."

"Gracie will be fine…from what I destroyed and what Jackson destroyed. It's over." "I was afraid for Molly for a long time." Mulder put his arm around Scully. "She's a sweet girl," Scully said. "Do you live around here?"

"47 miles from here," Emily replied

"You must be closer to D.C. then, but still that is a commute," Mulder said.

"Yeah…I was lucky enough to have a friend close by to babysit. Which I don't know what I'm going to do next week," she sighed Scully looked over at Mulder. "Well, we have time to kill right now...so you could always bring her here, we wouldn't mind."

She was shocked. "Really? You wouldn't mind?"

"Of course not," Scully smiled. "She is a cute little bugger," Mulder agreed. "Plus Gracie hasn't been around many people. I think it would be good for her too," Scully said.

She smiled. "That would help so much, I can't thank you enough."

Jackson smiled. "I wouldn't mind helping either, Em."

Emily looked over at her. "I know you will probably still do a DNA test...I don't mind and I don't blame you. I have the papers I took locked up safe somewhere if you want to read them." Scully nodded. "Don't worry, I'm just happy to make up for lost time." She looked to Mulder. Meanwhile, Gracie was smearing baby food around and Hunter was looking up waiting for more food to drop.

Hunter jumped up some and licked Gracie. He'd never hurt her, but he was cleaning her off.

"Hunter…down," Mulder said. He walked over and cleaned Gracie. "What are you doing with all this food, huh? It’s supposed to go in here," he tickled her belly. Gracie smiled at him and cooed.

Mulder washed her up and kissed her. Then went back to the living room with the others, holding Gracie.

It was an overwhelming few days, but Scully had collected a hair sample from Emily to compare against both her and Mulder. She also decided to check Jackson's DNA again since the first time they had only done it against her own. She needed evidence on paper once and for all. Once the tests came back, it was confirmed that Emily and Jackson were the children of both Mulder and Scully.

Mulder had been teaching a psych class at a nearby college on and mentored students. Once Scully returned to work, she planned to help Emily secure a more permanent position. Jackson had come to live with them and planned to return to community college the following year. They would have plenty of time to bond as a family. The darkness that overcast their lives as they knew it was gone. They found the light at the end of the tunnel.

End