#Whoops gotta stop leaving stuff in my drafts

[cerealman]

Hey I’ve been wondering, for people that see my art, is there anything specific that you can look at and be like “Yeah that’s cereal”

No need to answer just trying stuff with my style so I have had that on my mind

(Also I’m gonna tag this so people see it)

[akiraidraws]

Imperfections AU: Beginnings

(Summary: This story takes place prior to any successful attempt at creating a living toon with the ink machine. Henry is nervous about a meeting with Joey. All he knows is that it has something to do with the new ink machine and the toons. Will he go along with Joey's scheme or will he refuse?)

Trigger warning: Implied anxiety, light swearing

Just going to leave this under the cut since it's a little long.

Chapter 1: When Dreams Take Hold

It was another usual quiet morning at Joey Drew Studios. The studio's employees were hard at work within their respective departments, winding down from a particularly stressful deadline crunch with the beginnings of a new Bendy short.

Henry sat at his drafting desk in his new private office space, drawing in silence as Sammy leaned against the opposite wall venting his grievances about the newly completed ink machine to the long-time animator. Henry was only half listening to to music director as he tried to stop his concerns about some 'project' that Joey had requested he be present for later that afternoon. He knew it had something to do with the new ink machine and the cartoons but he had no idea what Joey meant by 'bringing life to the toons'. Joey had insisted that his presence was extremely important and that the 'project' had something to do with the little devil darling himself. What Joey meant by that Henry had no idea. Had Henry been doing something wrong? Were the animations not living up to Joey's expectations? These thoughts were flooding through Henry's mind in waves. How could he possibly give the toons more life than he already had? He loved the toons. He poured his heart and soul into every single frame he drew.

Henry flinched when Sammy waved a hand in front of his face.

"Henry! Henry, are you even listening?" Sammy asked with the slightest hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Oh. Yeah, yeah, I'm listening."

"Really? Because it looked like you were zoning out." Sammy retorted with a scoff.

"Sorry, I'm just a bit tired is all. How about I take a break and we go grab some coffee." Henry suggested.

"Fine by me, I could use some coffee right about now." Sammy said as he turned on his heel leaving the room. Flinging the door open and starting down the hall.

Henry stretched his arms as he got up and followed Sammy down the hall to the small break room. The room was bustling with activity compared to the quiet of the other areas within the studio. Susie, Norman and Shawn were seated at the mid sized table and Wally was leaning back against the wall with mop in hand. Sammy grabbed his coffee first and joined the trio at the table. They were all buzzing and complaining to each other about the new ink machine that Joey had installed. Henry only caught small snippets of the conversation as he entered the room and grabbed his own mug, filling it with the much too old coffee that was left in the pot.

"And so he says to me 'Mr. Flynn, these smiles are crooked AND there's ink dripping down the faces!' like its my fault that those blasted pipes be breakin' right over the shelves!" Shawn exclaimed to the trio throwing his hands up in obvious annoyance.

"Tell me about it! Not even my dressing room is clear of ink anymore!" Susie chimed in.

"How do ya think I feel? I'm the one who's gotta clean up the mess! I swear if one more pipe bursts, I'm outta here!" Wally whined as Norman laughed and Sammy groaned.

Henry took a sip from his mug as he joined the crew at the table.

"Man, you all have me feeling lucky. It's like the animation department is the only one not swimming with ink." He said with a chuckle.

"Aint you a lucky son of a gun." Norman elbowed the man as he teased.

"Seriously though, Henry. Are you alright? you look a little tense." Norman asked.

He grasped Henry by the shoulder with a little more force than he meant to making Henry spill his coffee.

"Oh, shoot. Sorry."

"Nice one, Norman" Sammy scoffed as Susie chided him and Wally snickered, earning a glare from the music director.

"It's alright Norman. No use crying over spilt coffee." Henry reassured as he wiped up the coffee from the table with a loose napkin.

Shawn was enjoying the show as he quietly sat back and sipped his coffee with a smile.

"And to answer your question, yes, I'm fine. Doing just dandy actually. Just a little worried about a meeting with Joey later today but it's nothing you all should worry about. Really."

"If ya say so." Norman shrugged.

The six co-workers sat and exchanged ink machine mishap stories with each other well into the afternoon, laughing their heads off at each other's expense when a sudden knock sounded at the break room door. Joey stood in the doorway smiling at Henry and tapping on the face of his watch. Everyone looked up at Joey then back at Henry.

"Whoops. Sorry ladies and gents, looks like I'm late for that meeting."

Henry feigned a smile getting up from his seat. He waved a quick good-bye to his friends and headed out the door with Joey. The walk to the ink machine room was uneventful as Joey rambled on excitedly about 'dreams coming true' and 'imagination'. Henry simply nodded along to the banter with the occasional 'mhmm' too stuck inside his own worried thoughts to pay attention. The only thing pulling Henry from his thoughts being Joey suddenly throwing his arm over his shoulder and leaning into his side.

"Aren't you excited Henry?" Joey asked enthusiastically, practically vibrating with excitement.

"Huh? Excited about what?" Henry responded to the question with confusion.

"Henry, old pal, weren't you listening?" Joey laughed.

"Uh.. no, no I wasn't. Seems like I've had my head in the clouds all day actually." Henry confessed rubbing at the back of his neck with a small smile.

"Well that's alright, old pal. There's nothing wrong with a little day dreaming." Joey chuckled.

"Just try to keep your head out of the clouds during our little 'project' alright?"

"Sure, sure. Uh... hey Joey?"

"Yes Henry?"

"What exactly is this 'project' you insisted I help you with? Why is it so important?"

Joey let go of Henry's shoulder and turned to face him with the biggest smile Henry has ever seen on his friend's face. One would even say that it rivaled that of the little dancing darlin' himself.

"Why Henry old pal, we're going to bring the little devil himself into our reality. With the help of the ink machine and a little magic that is."

Henry's jaw practically hit the floor.

"W-what? Joey that's crazy! You don't actually mean-"

"Why yes, I do. Henry, I wanted you to be there for Bendy's birth because I know how much he means to you. You DID create the little devil after all and I just KNOW he'll be perfect!" Joey beamed clapping his hands together.

To be honest, Joey just needed Henry present so that he could take a piece of his soul and use it to stabilize the new little toon. He didn't want any repeats with grotesque soulless abominations like the ones he had created and destroyed during late night practice sessions within the studio.

But Henry didn't need to know that.

"Joey, what the hell-"

"I know how this sounds old pal, trust me I do! But with a little imagination and soul anything is possible!"

"Joey! Stop! Just. stop."

Henry couldn't believe what he was hearing. Bring Bendy into their physical plane of existence? He had never heard of anything so absurd in his life.

"Let's just say that I believe you. Why EXACTLY do you need ME there for your weird magic ritual stuff?" Henry asked skeptically.

"No reason. I just thought you might like to be there." Joey lied

Henry's skepticism didn't falter. He considered just walking away but something pulled at him from inside that urged him to entertain Joey's notion. Maybe it was curiosity. Maybe it was a deeply rooted connection that Henry had always felt towards Bendy that he just never took notice of.

He decided that if anything went wrong he could kill Joey later but for now he just went along with whatever nonsense Joey spewed in an attempt to persuade him. It didn't. But Joey didn't need to know that.

Joey stopped abruptly outside of the room housing the large ink machine.

"Well here we are, Henry. Are you ready?"

"Yes. Let's do this."

[ask-them-bois]

Hey man, I just want to say you're an awesome writer. I love your stories and the series' you do. I can't wait for the next one to start. Do you happen to have any good writing tips? I myself want to write more but it's such a struggle sometimes.

ljsfhsdfalfhafldhfklslsdhfs anon this was so sweet, thank you!! I’m just as excited as you guys, I love ya’ll’s reactions and feedback; i thrive off it, it gives me the motivation to write even more. I’m so giddy for 4/13. As for writing tips, yes! I do have some that are pretty useful for myself. I can’t speak for every writer, of course, but hopefully they’ll give you some place to start:

A protagonist has to have more going for them than just a tragic backstory, handsome looks, or power. All of those are fine, of course, but they need more than that. They need hobbies, interests, little ticks that make them whole. Otherwise they’re simply a shell for the reader to see the world through, like the character a player controls in a video game. They’ll feel less genuine, and all the moments you want to hit hard won’t hit right.

Don’t be afraid of starting sentences with ‘And’ or ‘But’. Fuck whatever Oxford says, if you can make it work, then do it!

Don’t underestimate the classic “And everything went black.” at the end of a chapter. Makes me go buck wild every time, and I bet plenty of other readers will agree.

Side characters need something going for them, too! They need their own stories within the story. Even simply mentioning that X has a brother will make them seem more rounded out, because then they have a connection to that world besides themselves.

Use as many drafts as you need. You know how many drafts my stuff goes through before I publish? A minimum of six. Never compare your first draft to a published work. That could be someone’s 1,000th draft!

Diversity is crucial. LGBT, POC, nerodivergent, age differences, religious differences, handicapped- all of these are critical in making your story more whole. And mix them up, too! Mush them together, because no one is one thing. Make a 90-year old, autistic, gay, black, nonbinary person! If it sounds like too much I promise it’s not! Anyone with even 2 of those features will feel represented and seen!

Make sure your villains know where they stand, and know where they draw the line. They’ll kill the protagonist by any means, but they won’t kick an abandoned puppy; stuff like that. Even a relentless murderer needs some kind of limit. Something that can make them falter. Not like a weakness- which, yes, they need those, too- but something that’ll show they have standards, or a code they stick to.

It’s okay if your world is incomplete when you start writing, or you don’t know how it will end. That’s perfectly okay, wonderful, in fact! Just start writing, and it’ll come to you eventually.

Don’t be afraid to step away if you get stuck. Snack and bathroom breaks, a jog around the block, all that. I know others will say to muscle through it, but sometimes you’ve gotta step away. To quote my 5th grade english teacher, “Don’t be a bird against a window.” A bird will throw itself at a window again and again, and wonder why it can’t go further. If you’re banging your head against the desk wondering why you can’t get your story to progress, walk away! Leave it for a day or two, if you need to!

Never underestimate music. I have a playlist I have perfectly tailored to the mood and energy of my writing. I’ve got a list for action scenes, romance scenes, serious moments- music can give you a jump and get you going, inspire you at just the right moment.

Write every day. This can be hard, but try. Even a sentence, even something that isn’t your main project. Write a quote you like in the notes on your phone. Anything little helps.

On that note, have more than one project going at a time! Currently, I myself have my book series, this blog, and 2-3 fanfictions I’m working on. If you don’t have the drive for one on a given day, maybe you’ve got the inspiration for another. Then look at that, you’re still writing, even if it’s not your main project!

Get people involved!! I can’t stress how important this one was to me, personally. I understand not wanting to spoil your story, but hey, the final draft is what they’ll read, not the work in progress. Whatever you tell them might not even get used, or will end up drastically changed. I’d ramble to my friends for forever and inspire myself in the middle of a sentence. They didn’t even have to listen, I just needed to talk it out with myself.

Don’t be afraid to skip parts. Let’s be real, transition scenes are a bitch. They are my personal demon. So write the first scene, skip the transition, and write the next important block. Go back later, and by then you’ll probably have some idea of how to connect them.

Google everything. Half my google history is “synonyms for ___”. If you make up a word, google it too, just in case! It could be something horrifically offensive in another language. Or it could be gobbledygook! In that same vein, baby name sites are your best friend.

Make sure every character has something that drives them. Some inspiration or aspiration they hope to achieve! Yes, even the characters you plan to kill off. Again, it makes the world that much richer. Even if it’s something simple like a teacher, who teaches because they just “love to teach”. And once it’s said, prove it! Show the teacher praising their students, or getting excited when their students understand!

Love interests are not vital. Trust me. The protagonist doesn’t need a lover to seem whole. If they do, that’s not a good protagonist. Try again.

Details, and lack there of. Be as specific as can be with physical objects and overpowering emotions. Synonym after simile after metaphor, pile them on! But when it comes to action, hold back! You don’t have to specify the way the character moves every joint. Leave a little to the imagination, and the reader will fill in the gaps.

Symbolism, intentional or not, is powerful as all hell. If it is intentional, though, don’t lay it on too thick. Same goes for foreshadowing, because then your reader might get bored because whoops, you just spelled out the ending before you even got there.

Tropes are your friend. There’s a reason they’re used so much: Because they work! Don’t overload the story, of course, but if you want to use it, and it fits that particular scene, then by god do it. No one can stop you.

Above all, your story is your own. There is no one else in the world who can tell it the way you can. Even if they’ve read it a thousand times, it’s not the same, I promise. They have it memorized? They’ve seen work like it? IT’S NOT THE SAME. You’re the only one who can tell it, so by all means, do so.

Wow okay that got long, but I think that’s most of ‘em! I hope they help, and good luck with your story!

[at-the-exd-of-everythixg]

K let's knock this brain cell around the peanut cage

Wulf ends up falling from a height that even Asgardians can't really heal from easily - its funny because Rhys obviously can't carry a man that big,,,I think,,,

Wulf and Edith go back home and whoop Rhys is probably never going to see him again cause of dumb rules so it ends up becoming a matter of home or heart.

Possibly can happen in the power swap but Dae's boss coming and working up a deal that can end with one of them going back to a torture house.

Dae gets too cuddly and WHOOP suddenly Rhys is getting some toxic spit and dealing with crystals spreading and the guilt of his boy??? Unreal.

Leaning towards more of his hallucinogenic side but Rhys accidentally consuming some of Dae's spit and Dae having a freak out that has an affect on Rhys (I probably have more details to go on about the effects if this wasn't three am rn)

Dae in the middle of removing some of his diamonds and its really messy and emotional for him and old memories surface and just,,,,bringing up some of Rhys's locked away memories?? (By that I probs mean when he was actually locked away and not dealing with amnesia,,,,unless he is??)

Dae has a fight with Peach and heads to Rhys half drowned and panicked. Could also work with Rhys meeting Peach by accident or confrontation just going to the mysterious place Dae lives??? Possibly more there to chit chat about.

Mahogany going too far and accidentally taking a proper bite into Rhys oof get a bandage son.

Magni getting shot and could either get a bit more feral and refuse to go back or just gets worse and somehow Rhys finds them impaled in the forest????? Posisbly more.

Rhys finds Mahogany in the middle of a very late night and very human snacc, body horror wh oop.

Kinda drafting away but flicker back to your exotic being verse and possible Rhys being a buyer of a genuine wendigo or alien, heck, could be a prize? Dae gets sold as decoration lmao like a lava lamp. Oof maybe Rhys gets sold for his first time mhm mmHM

Kay Sal lives his worst fear again and explodes near Rhys, might cause some heavy damage and brings up the previous people he's hurt. U know,,,,memories bout why he couldn't love.

Sick Sal (slick hehe) but hitting into the alien bit where he's stuck by antimatter (check A-force, Singularity vs Anitmatter G) and woof Sal shifting red feaatures and suddenly he's struggling to move and in lots of pain and he's lost his only brain cell

At this point I'm brainwaving at some nutjob getting a "d a t e" with Sal and maybe he's just had a fight with Rhys so he's cocky and a bully but whoop suddenly said nutjob is trying to dissect him and he's coming back with his gut sliced up but its hitting more of my body horror love so.

Rhys having a freak out and slicing at any one of his partners with shadows. Emotional torment of having his partner stand and watch him while blood starts to drip.

Rhys ends up at Dae's boss's place and gets to see what exactly his bf's been though all those years (could also lead to amnesia stuff) could lead to lots of body horror depending on comfort levels

Amnesia Rhys or Dae getting to meet and deal with each other >:3 lots of scenarios and discussions

Dae and Rhys getting into a fight and Rhys gets to see the muscle reflex Dae has for the first time (aka Dae getting real upset when he suddenly can't talk and knows that the man he loves recuxed him to silence. Hoo hooo I'm sleeping well soon)

Rhys meeting Ava or Dahlia because God I'm snorting at him seeing a possible monster or Ava attacking him and he's torn between "I'm being attacked by a vampire" and "why can't it be Dae who's aggressively biting my neck"

Back to the person selling thing except Rhys gets sold to Sal's planet ironically and possibly meets his mum??

UwU away from angst but au where people get bridal sacrifices or whatever and Rhys gets Mahogany and its mostly an excuse for me to wendigo world build.

Wulf gets more and more strained and panicked after Rhys gets hurt somehow and he doesn't know how to voice his worries of his smaller love and he just gets more wound up and upset as time goes on.

More on that? Wulf causing a tornado or hurricane or whatever is more wind themed and Rhys gets nervous feelings or what his boyfriend's like when he's real mad and just slow feelings about Rhys getting hurt??

Side note but I'm fucking inhaling at another wendigo getting into Magni and leaving a cow heart or smth and they're just panicked heart eyes and Rhys is just "what the fuck its three am" (3:30 am rn sobs)

Ksy ending with some quick cute morning ideas

Wulf waking Rhys up early for chores and he's wearing dumb tight clothes to lure Rhys out.

Rhys meeting Honkers when he gets a face full of angry duck because Daddy forgot to wake up early enough curse his long sleeping dumb bf who makes the bed so enticing.

Mahogany getting into bed with Rhys and it's a nightmare because they went out and now the bed is so cold.

Rhys waking up and realising that if tempted, Sal can and will stay inside his shirts and just cling like a koala. He's an alien, he has no weight to worry about and if Rhys loves him then he'll do this.

Kay double quick but some sort of happy au where Sal is trying to give dating a go and it's just nervous baby who throws up before literally every date

Nsfw where same au and Sal giving any form of control to Rhys but I can't stop laughing about Sal constantly shifting and trying to fight a good position because "no that's not right" and Rhys just "I'm going to wear u as a dick warmer if u don't stay still-"

Kay kay but even funnier is Rhys going and taking Magni into their first building and it's a pet supply store (gotta get meat where u can take it) and he learns the hard way that Magni Will and Can eat those many boxes of bugs you always see at pets at home.

Extra and for sure last one but delirious funny thoughts of OT3 and Sal screaming at Rhys and u have two tiny boys grabbing their toll wendigo lover as they proceed to eat an entire box of larvae.

EXTRA LAST but Rhys finding out the hard way that Dae can also eat anything thanks to his acid mouth and sitting in horror as Dae proceeds to burn and eat a plate what the fuck.

@blind-mutant

[philiprolz]

CHOOSE YOUR FRANCHISE By Philip Rolz  Nov 7, 2017 

I was lucky enough to go to a couple of Orlando Magic games back in the 90′s and 2000′s and fell in love. But living almost 2,000 miles away from the nearest NBA city made it hard for me to really root for a team, a city, a franchise. But like a drunken, low self esteem college girl with daddy issues I gave myself to the first one that wooed me... a Shaquille O’Neal and Penny Hardaway led expansion team in Florida. I’ve stuck with them ever since. 

But it got me thinking, how do you choose a team? Are some teams more likely to be a fan favorite than others? What’s their fan-ability? Before I make my case I gotta tell you what I took into consideration making this list: how cool or uncool the city is, how good-looking their uniforms are, GM decisions over the years, iconic players, fan base, the culture of the organization, overall success or lack there of, team history. OK, here’s my list:

Atlanta Hawks

You can’t NOT love a place people refer to as “The dirty south”, I mean it sounds fun and rappers made it cool to root for Atlanta based teams (specially the Hawks and Falcons).

Dominique Wilkins and Spud Webb were the first real iconic players that put the Hawks on the map with their amazing athletic abilities. The rivalry with Jordan and the Bulls was real (both in real games and in dunk contests at All-Star Weekends) and people noticed them. They were fun to watch. 

Ever since the “Dominique era” the franchise has been kind of a letdown though. Always underachieving and kinda disappearing in the clutch. 2014-2015 was a clear example of a roster that made a lot of noise but crapped their pants when it got real in the playoffs.  

Currently they’re probably one on the top teams looking to tank this season to get a franchise defining rookie in this apparent “loaded” draft, so the Hawks aren’t really a team you root for this year but they have been fun to watch largely in part of high flying young players like John Collins and Taurean Prince.

Fan-ability: B-

  Boston Celtics

The Celtics are one of the most successful franchises in sports. Their fan base is extremely loyal, somewhat violent and friggin’ loud. They might be responsible for starting the whole “superteams” trend some seem to hate, but when it comes down to it, it’s just good management and recruiting. Then there’s the legendary Celtic players from oldies Bill Russell and Larry Bird to not so oldies Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce. These guys are deified by the hardcore Boston fans and man have they come through with epic playoff performances and hard nosed triumphs.  Nowadays they seem to expect a LOT from the young roster GM Danny Ainge put together majestically and guess what? They are they fun to watch. Kyrie Irving has the most insane handles in the league and I haven’t seen a small guard finish as efficiently in the paint since Tony Parker’s best days. The Celtics are also very similar to the Spurs when it comes to drafting well which is a big thing for fans looking for franchises to root for when there’s youth and potential. Will Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown be the NBA’s next studs? Will Markelle Fultz be a complete bust? (therefore making the Celtics even smarter)  The Celtics are NBA Elite and that makes them either really loved or really hated.  Fan-ability: B+

Brooklyn Nets

Brooklyn, New York. Home of everything cool in the world, right? Wrong! The Brooklyn Nets seem to be a forced fed team (notice the cheesy SI cover above) completely divorced with the whole swagger of this New York borough. Nobody wants to be associated with failure, and the Nets have been failures in so many ways during the last years it’s embarrassing. They basically gave away all their draft picks, they over-hyped a Deron Williams that was arguably one of the biggest free agent busts of all time. Their iconic players? Dr J? Jason Kidd? Kerry Kittles (just kidding)? Kinda feels weird picking guys who did play for the Nets, just not the Brooklyn Nets. I feel bad for them though, playing in one of the biggest markets in the country and not being known for enticing big name free agents, not even with Jay-Z helping them out for a little while. I’m pretty certain HOVA wanted out before the stink rubbed off on him.  They haven’t drafted well, they’re not fun to watch, they’ve become synonymous with losing. The only good thing they have going for them is the fact that Brooklyn is a tourist destination and there’s a chance some tourist will buy a Nets ticket before a Knicks ticket.

Fan-ability: D+

Charlotte Hornets

Remember those big flashy Starter Jackets with the Charlotte Hornets logo plastered all over them? Those were the days! The Hornets used to be good and/or fun. An Alonzo Mourning team alongside Larry “Grandmama” Johnson, Muggsy Bogues and Steph Curry’s dad (who apparently could shoot very well, too) was a fun thing to watch.

Several years later it all went straight to hell with the Bobcats. Let’s face it, when you think of the Bobcats you think of a bunch of scrubs and Adam Morrison. Good God!

Now they’re back to being the Hornets, although, they’re still not that fun. They don’t have Zo they have Dwight Howard, one of the least likeable players out there. They don’t have LJ, they have Frank Kaminsky (crickets chirping). They don’t have Muggsy they have Kemba Walker... ok that’s better. And instead of Dell Curry they have a rookie who I’m really rooting for: Malik Monk.

They’re ok. They’re not super exciting but they have some star power. Hopefully this year the young guards can do some damage down the stretch and maybe be a sneaky team in the playoffs.

Fan-ability: B+

Chicago Bulls

You think Bulls, you think MJ, his Airness, the G.O.A.T.

For younger fans you think D.Rose being drafted by his hometown team and making them a force to be reckoned with in the East and dethroning the King with a 2010-2011 MVP award.

But it’s 2017 now. The face of the franchise is a blonde kid from Finland named Lauri Markkanen and the face of Nikola Mirotic was obliterated by fellow teammate Bobby Portis. Well maybe not obliterated, but I hear it was a heck of a knockout.

It really doesn’t matter how bad GM Gar Foreman and owner Jerry Reinsdorf have been, because what Michael Jordan did for the NBA he did for this NBA franchise as well. Fans crave for the second coming of Michael and until that day comes (I’m pretty sure it’ll never happen) the first thing you’ll think of when you see a red Bulls jersey is #23.

Fan-ability: A-

Cleveland Cavaliers

I’ve never been to Cleveland. I don’t think I’ll ever go there. Not really a bucket list destination.  But I have to admit, LeBron James made Cleveland relevant since the day he was drafted by his hometown team. He was the chosen one entering the league and did not disappoint. He carried a really weak team to an NBA Finals versus a really strong San Antonio Spurs team (and lost). Took his talents to South Beach making everybody in the league feel sorry for the Cavs. As soon as he ditched Miami to go back to “The Land” they were legit once more. LBJ is no MJ however. Some people seem to dislike his demeanor, question his clutch gene and doubt his leadership. He is a little whiny sometimes. Yet no one has denied that LeBron is still the best player on the planet and has been for the better part of his career. I mean it feel like its been 30 straight NBA Finals for him.  He’s great. He made Cleveland great. Even if he leaves this upcoming season, Cleveland should be forever grateful for everything King James has done. And because people enjoy experiencing greatness the Cavaliers are a fan favorite. (Me personally, not really a fan) Fan-ability: A

Dallas Mavericks

A lanky slow-ish blonde forward from Würzburg, Germany made the Dallas Mavericks NBA champions against, non other than, the chosen one (or as Skip Bayless likes to call him “the frozen one”). But aside from being lany, kinda slow and uh... blonde, Dirk Nowitzki is one of the top 20 greatest players of all time, one of my personal favorite players and proud owner of one of the sweetest fade away jumpers ever. 2010-2011 was the Mavericks championship season and man was it a well constructed team that no matter if you love or hate outspoken owner Mark Cuban, you gotta hand it to him. Combining veteran leaders like Jason Kidd and Jason Terry with defensive anchor Tyson Chandler and freaks of nature like Shawn Marion was the recipe for success under the brilliant mind of one of the most underrated coaches, Rick Carlisle. You felt glad they were champions. It wasn’t a “super team” but it was really really good and they were underdogs against a Miami team that promised not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, etc. championships. After the ‘chip they remained relevant until maybe last season. Dirk is rapidly aging and this really seems like it’s gonna be his last season. To be honest I’ve stopped watching Mavericks games because this is not the Dirk I want to remember. I do watch a lot of highlights though, mostly because of rookie Dennis Smith, Jr. Holy cow! That kid looks like he was made with the same stuff Russell Westbrook was made from. DSJr is another rookie I’m really rooting for, specially because he’s in great hands with old man Dirk to guide him and Rick Carlisle to coach him and get the best out of him. It’s a winning franchise in a hip warm weather city, with a wild celebrity owner, an iconic international player and champion, with a lot of young talent. Nuff said. Fan-ability: A-

Denver Nuggets

I think the Nuggets’ greatest moment in franchise history was the improbable win against the #1 seeded Sonics in 1994. Big whoop. There were other highlights in franchise history like drafing Melo (who later demanded a trade outta there). They did have Allen Iverson on their team, but then they traded him to Detroit because he wasn’t the 76ers Allen Iverson of old.    And this is the part where I want to talk about Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf. He was a muslim player (duh!) and was unbelievably good. But he was a muslim. Many compare his game to Steph Curry’s. But he was a muslim. He had crazy handles, the highest basketball IQ and one sweet jumpshot. But he was a muslim, and he started the whole Colin Kaepernick thing where he protested during anthems. Oh boy. Can you imagine a guy named Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf protesting in front of thousands of proud americans back in the 90′s? Yeah, that was the end of that. It’s really sad to wonder how good he would’ve been. At least Ice Cube gave him a shot in the BIG3. Anyway, back to the Denver Nuggets franchise comprised of young exciting talent but not a clear cut superstar. Nikola Jokic is really entertaining but is enough to make the Nuggets relevant? Millsap just joined them, but let’s face it he’s a really good boring player. Garry Harris was supposed to have a breakout year and it’s still early but he’s been a little too quiet for my taste. Jamal Murray, Emmanuel Mudiay seem a long way from being relevant and Kenneth Faried hasn’t been traded after 1,864,227 times it’s been rumored. The biggest indicator the Nuggets are in trouble is the fact that their own fans don’t show up as they finished last in attendance last season. Yikes! Fan-ability: F

Detroit Pistons

Personally I can’t really talk about the Bad Boy Pistons from the 80′s because I didn’t really get into the NBA until a little later. But from what I’ve heard and read, I really dig it. An uber-defensive team that wasn’t scared of anything or anyone. Hard nosed defenders, clutch shooting, trash talking and an iconic coach kinda sound like... hey! The 2004 champion Pistons! The comparison just goes to show that a culture within a franchise can go a long way.  The 2004 Pistons were tough, smart and had the winning mentality that I’m sure legendary coach Larry Brown implemented in the locker room. Big Ben was scary big even though he wasn’t as tall as your traditional center. ‘Sheed was a bad man with a sick jumper and a f*ck you attitude. Rip and Chauncey were the smart and offensively skilled guard combo. Okur, Tayshaun and McDyess played their roles just right. To this day I can’t believe they beat Kobe, Shaq and another “superteam”.  The Pistons of 2017 however lack some of that old school attitude. It’s well coached (shout out to Stan Van G) but no very well managed (sorry Stan Van G). Drummond is a huge piece of human who can block shots, dunk over anyone and has kind of improved the free throw issues of the past. Reggie Jackson seems to be a conflictive dude lacking the leadership of a Chauncey Billups. Tobias Harris who’s good but would’ve been better in a different era. Today’s NBA doesn’t really work for a guy like him. It’s not a roster you can nip and tuck and turn into a legitimate force in the NBA, to me it feels like it’s either this group of guys to maybe get past the first round of the playoffs or blow it all up and tank away to get younger and better. Can we send Avery Bradley to the Celtics, please?  Overall, it’s a city with a lot of heart and a franchise with a lot of history but right now who knows what they are? Fan-ability: B-

Golden State Warriors

My first memory of the Golden State Warriors is Chris Mullin’s hair and short shorts. Tim Hardaway’s crossovers. Latrell Sprewell’s angry two handed dunks (also angry head coach chokings) and an underachieving Chris Webber. But that’s all in the past. Even the good stuff like the Baron Davis and Stephen Jackson Warriors that made a lot of noise in the 2006 playoffs. That’s all irrelevant now because things changed in the bay area. Mark Jackson started coaching a young group of really promising guys and started a style of play that later Steve Kerr, who replaced him as head coach, perfected and made history. I don’t need to talk about how good Steph Curry is and how he revolutionized the game or how good of a shooter/defender/heat check guy Klay is. Or how Draymond is the new villain and best defender in the NBA or how Durant made this team virtually invincible... because everybody knows it. The only thing that worried me was if I would ever get bored of this team; short answer: NO. Again, people like greatness and the bar set by these basketball juggernauts is so high it’s become ridiculous. People call them “bandwagon fans” but it’s really just a matter of wanting to feel part of something as special as this group of future hall of famers... that and they’re totally bandwagon fans. Bandwagon fan-bility: A+

Houston Rockets

Probably not gonna be on the same page as a lot of people here but I’ve always found Rockets players kind of douchey. Maybe not the championship Rockets Olajuwon, Drexler, Horry or Cassell. More like Steve Francis, the worst version of Dwight Howard, and now James Harden AND Chris Paul. Yes, I said it. James Harden is a douchebag. He gets a lot of points, has become an elite point guard but his game isn’t really that exciting... and he’s a whiny flopper. 

They have a lot of history and a bunch of iconic players but ever since the championship years in the mid 90′s we haven’t gotten a dominant conference shifting team. Today’s roster is a poor man’s Golden State Warriors and they’ll eventually find out (the hard way) that in a 7 game series you won’t outshoot or outscore the Dubs. OK, I’ve really bashed the Rockets here, but don’t get me wrong I have to give credit where credit is due: James Harden is an MVP caliber player and Chris Paul is the point God but nobody likes ‘em. Fan-ability: C

Indiana Pacers

Back in the day the Pacers of Reggie Miller, Mark Jackson, Rik Smits, Derrick McKey and Antonio & Dale Davis were for real. They had shooting, rebounding, star power, coaching ...they had it all! It’s a shame that Michael Jordan and the Kobe/Shaq combo never let Reggie and the Pacers win a championship. A decade later the Pacers found themselves with a very strong group of talented players that made LeBron and the Heatles a little nervous. Paul George the emerging superstar along Lance Stephenson, Roy Hibbert and company were battling LeBron down to the last second but eventually falling short. Paul George broke his leg got better and basically told everyone in Indiana to go screw themselves because he would leave them for his hometown Lakers. Now he’s in OKC as a rental and Indiana has highly motivated Victor Oladipo (fan favorite in Indiana) Arvydas Sabonis’ son and what’s left of Lance Stephenson. They should be tanking this year but they’re not in large part because of phenom Myles Turner and a rejuvenated Thad Young. So, what are they? Good? Mediocre? Bad? At this point, we don’t really know.  It’s a small market team with no real superstar anymore and a lot of young talent that could either shine or implode. Fan-ability: D

L.A. Clippers

CP3 leaving means the Clippers are now terrible, right? Nope. Point Blake is for real, DeAndre looks like he’s having fun again and all the role players seem engaged. Oh! And this guy with the scruffy beard is their 30 year old rookie point guard who’s soooo fun to watch. What about the history of the franchise? Well, it’s no pretty. The Clippers were synonymous with failure for a long time. They were terrible at attracting free agents, terrible at drafting (i.e. Michael Olowakandi) until they put together what would become Lob City. It was fun but not very successful.  Los Angeles is sexy and cool but you don’t really think Clippers, you think Lakers, even when the Clippers have clearly been the better basketball team for the last 3 or 4 years now. With the Lakers making a comeback it’s becoming more obvious that the the Clippers should just move north and become the beloved Seattle Sonics.  Fan-ability: C+

L.A. Lakers

Showtime is back in L.A.! Not particularly because of their style of play but because of all the buzz the young players have caused and the circus surrounding Lonzo Ball, who in his first month playing in the NBA looks... different from what Lavar promised. It’s okay, nobody really expected Lonzo to be better than LeBron, Steph and God in his first games. The bottom line is Lonzo not bad and could become really good! Ingram is looking pretty good (just needs an extra 50 lbs) and I’m predicting he could become a Greek Freak type of superstar. But enough about the Baby Lakers, who we know are gonna be alright eventually, let’s talk about the incredibly successful franchise throughout the years. Ugh! Can’t believe I just said something nice about the Lakers. Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Magic Johnson, Shaquille O’Neal and of course Kobe Bryant are one of the biggest names in the history of the league and they’re all Lakers (shout out to Nick Van Exel, one of my favorite players ever). I was blessed to witness the early 2000′s reign of Shaq and Kobe (even though I kept thinking what would’ve happened if Shaq stayed in Orlando) and their epic battles with the Spurs.  Let’s face it, the Lakers are the Yankees of basketball. People love the city of Los Angeles and they root for what the Lakers were and what they could eventually become once again. Fan-ability: A+

Memphis Grizzlies

They’ve come a long way from those Vancouver days when their best player was Bryant “Big Country” Reeves. They established a culture of hard work reminiscent of the city they play for. They created “Grit and Grind” and should be very proud of it. The history of the franchise is a little iffy since they were really bad for a really long time (normal for an expansion team in small markets).  Marc Gasol, Mike Conley, Tony Allen and Z-Bo put the league on notice and transformed a joke of a franchise to a legitimate contender. The roster has been almost completely revamped but Gasol and Conley are keeping the “Grit and Grind” very much alive. For how long? Only time will tell (hopefully as long as possible). Fan-ability: C+

Miami Heat

Fun fact: Did you know the Miami Heat won a championship without LeBron James? Yup!  Here’s another one for you: Did you know the Miami Heat and the New York Knicks hated each other and had a bunch of epic playoff battles back in the 90′s and early 2000′s? Hell yeah! My point is Miami has had a lot history before the LeBron and Heatles “superteam” nonsense. Pat Riley is largely responsible for all of it. And this post LeBron phase hasn’t been as terrible as you’d expect because this well oiled machine of a franchise keeps drafting, signing and getting all the right pieces to be contenders in a very weak Eastern Conference. They’re still a couple of moves away from being the top dogs so don’t be surprised if they make some moves during this season or once the season is over. The city of Miami is fun and sexy and so are the Heat fans. As long as Pat Riley is there they’re gonna be relevant and in the conversation. Fan-ability: B+

New Orleans Pelicans

As Tony Montana famously once said: “Manny, look at the pelican fly. Come on, pelican!” refering to some flamingos he was watching on TV. I kind of feel that way when I’m watching these guys play... I think I’m watching two of the best big men in the game along with some decent role players but I’m really just watching a franchise with no idea of what they’ll do when they inevitably lose both their big men (AD & Boogie) and return to being bad (worse). My second thing about this franchise: how are we supposed to root for a team called the Pelicans?! Wait... their arena is called the “Smoothie King Center”? OK, I’m done.

Weird to not root for a team that has 2 of the top 15 players in the league. Fan-ability: F 

New York Knicks

New York IS basketball. When you walk around this magnificent city you breathe basketball. Some of the best street ballers are New Yorkers. Yet, the Knicks haven’t been as great as Knicks fan expect them to be (not in the last 3 or 4 seasons anyway). Owner James Dolan is not exactly a fan favorite, Phil Jackson left without accomplishing what he was hired to accomplish, Charles Oakley has been banned from MSG (yes, the former Knicks legend) and the Melo-drama of last year(s) was quite frankly very annoying. So yeah, it’s been pretty brutal. It’s seems like a very long time because their last championship was in 1973 but there have been some really interesting, talented and semi-successful Knicks teams since Bernard King’s epic finals performance. One of the most sought after rookies landed in MSG and had a really good career (Patrick Ewing) and the aforementioned Charles Oakley along with John Starks, Anthony Mason and Doug Christie among others were talented, feisty, tough and relentless enough to reach the finals against a really loaded Rockets team. Then there’s Van Gundy’s squad with Ewing, Allan Houston, Latrell Sprewell, Larry Johnson and Marcus Camby who played the role of the underdog from day 1 until they reached the finals which they once again lost, this time against a dynastic Spurs. As of today the Knicks, minus Carmelo Anthony, have been quite surprising and own of the most precious assets in basketball: a unicorn. Kristaps Porzingis has won the heart of every single Knicks fan because of the dog in him, something very important to a city that values hard work. His stellar numbers and the potential of becoming a very unique type of player (hence the nickname “unicorn”) might be that x-factor that brings the championship back to the mecca. All they have to do is be patient, avoid the drama (hard to do with the New York media) and draft well... let’s hope Frankie Smokes is the perfect compliment to KP’s amazing talent. Oh, and please pray to the basketball gods... no injuries, please! Fan-ability: A-

Oklahoma City Thunder

You know what helps building a fan base when your not the coolest city in the world? Superstars! Oklahoma City has had some of the biggest names in the NBA play for them: Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook, James Harden and Serge Ibaka. More unbelievable? They played together! Just goes to show what a great GM (Sam Presti) and great scouts will do to a franchise. Even with all these amazing atheletes on their team they really never got to win it all. KD and Russ were an unbelievable duo but many wondered if they didn’t really compliment eachother... maybe KD needed more of a playmaker, maybe Russ needed more of a role player and shine on his own. Well KD left to join the ridiculously talented Dubs (and won the title) and Russ won the MVP averaging a triple double.  Now they have even more star power adding hoodie Melo and Paul George to the mix and hoping this trio will knock down the reign of the all mighty Warriors (highly unlikely).  Superstars aside, OKC really has had an uphill battle developing a fan base in such a small market and have done so beautifully.  Fan-ability: B+

Orlando Magic

Whoa! This is hard for me. I’m probably gonna bash the franchise I first loved (and still do for some strange reason). My best memories as a kid are in Orlando when me and my whole family went to Disney World, Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure, so I’m a little bias. Imagine a kid from Guatemala city going to a basketball game in a jam packed arena where Shaquille O’Neal and Penny Hardaway put on a show. Done deal! I’m a Magic fan for life.  Orlando somehow managed to lose Shaq by lowballing him in an almost  offensive way comparing him to other players in the league and criticizing his rebounding and defense in an attempt to “negotiate” a deal that wouldn’t mean breaking the bank for Shaq. But guess what? For Shaq, you DO break the bank and by not doing so they broke the heart of every Orlando Magic fan. So Shaq left and it took a long time to recover. 13 years later Dwight Howard somehow managed to go to an NBA Finals with a very weird and well coached Magic team that seemed content to just get there, and let’s face it, didn’t really have a shot against the Lakers.  Then, Rob Hennigan happened. Bad draft picks, horrible free agent signings and head scratching trades were the norm under this guy. Even though he’s still no longer with the team the stench of his horrible decisions still linger over the very bizarre roster today’s Magic have assembled. Granted the beginning of this season has been a very pleasant surprise many people feel it’s just a phase in which a lot of “bad teams” started hot and will eventually fall back down to earth. I’m just trying to believe they might snatch the East’s 8th spot and finally be back in the playoff picture, but... why? Shouldn’t they just tank and hope to get ANOTHER draft pick? Who knows? All I know is Aaron Gordon is finally playing some decent basketball and I have really high expectations from rookie Jonathan Isaac and might eventually become a steal in the draft.  Fan-ability: D

Philadelphia 76ers

Oh God! The Process. The day they win a championship I’ll tolerate the Process. I feel awful for the Philly fans that had to endure such a long run of shameless, utter failure while being the laughing stock of the whole league. Having the commissioner actually getting involved in the team’s plan to continue sucking has got to be embarrassing. But 76ers fans have shown they always trusted the process and are now celebrating as if Joel Embiid and Ben Simmons are the next best thing since sliced bread, but I have to remind every Sixer fan once in a while that they drafted Michael Carter-Williams and traded him for nothing, Nerlens Noel and traded him for nothing and Jahlil Okafor, who’ll be traded for nothing... so let’s not get too excited just yet. We still have to find out what Markelle Fultz becomes. The level of incompetence they endured for so long actually made us all root for them making them the most lovable underdog in history and thus captivating a new fan base of people rooting for the eternal losers to finally get a break. They used to be good though. Real good. Mostly because they had Allen Iverson, the best pound for pound player ever. Those A.I. teams were surrounded by a bunch of scrubs, role players and stiffs that watched “The Answer” in awe as he dismantled every opponent they faced. The team had a superstar and a lot of heart that would eventually take the finals against another almost invincible Lakers team, that for a second, crapped their pants when Allen Iverson tore them apart in Game 1. Eventually L.A. won 4 straight and the series was over. Philadelphia was praised for valiantly battling a star studded team with a minuscule scorer along with a bunch of unknowns (so yeah, they’ve always been the lovable underdogs). In a very “Rocky” way, Philadelphia always seems to be forced against the ropes and fighting back the best way they can.  Fan-ability: B

Phoenix Suns

It’s hard to imagine a time where the Phoenix Suns were a great Western Conference team. They were. My first memories of good Suns teams was the Barkley, KJ and Majerle led team. Then there’s the Nash-Stoudemire era where the battles against their Western Conference nemesis were pretty epic. It’s seems like its been forever since the glory days for the Suns. They had a nice little run not long ago with a trio of guards that are really good (Eric Bledsoe, Goran Dragic and Isaiah Thomas) but seemed like they handled it very poorly only ending the very brief run with some questionable GM decisions. Overall the Suns are franchise that hasn’t really clicked and found a clear path to becoming a fun team to watch. The Suns are very young and do have a great-to-be shooting guard in Devin Booker, but they’re probably 4 years from being competitive again and some young players like Bender, Marquese Chriss and Josh Jackson have to prove their worth in the next upcoming seasons. Trading Bledsoe seems like it could be a fresh start and open up some very important playing time for the younger talent. So brace yourselves, it’s not gonna be pretty. Fan-ability: C-

Portland Trailblazers

Hispters rejoice! There’s no doubt that rooting for the Blazers is the cool thing to do since nobody really trusts their backcourt defense, bench or bother to give Dame Dolla (a.k.a. Damien Lillard) an All-Star nod.  CJ McCollum and Damien Lillard think they’re the best backcourt in the NBA and it’s a legitimate claim since they score at will against any and every defender. When it comes to clutch shooting... you know it’s Dame Time! I personally find the Blazers a really fun team to watch and when you think about it, it’s been the case for a very long time. Awesome Blazer players throughout the years: Clifford Robinson (headband included), Jerome Kersey, Rod Strickland, Arvydas Sabonis, Rasheed Wallace, Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge are just some of the names that made this cool-ass city much much cooler. They’ve been relevant but haven’t really won a championship but at least they’ve been to one. Even if they’ve lost more than they’ve won they are definitly a cool team. Fan-ability: B+

Sacramento Kings

Before owner Vivek Ranadivé thought Nik Stauskas was the next best thing, before they drafted every single big while having arguably the best center in the league in Boogie Cousins and confusing everybody with every single poor decision the Kings were exciting.

Can it be argued that Jason “White Chocolate” Williams was the most entertaining point guard of the last 25 years? I certainly think so. He put the Kings on the map along with a very productive Chris Webber, the shooter extraordinaire of Peja Stojakovic and a bunch of really good role players. They kind of underachieved but looking back on that team, they might have been a little too young and flashy. The only time they made the NBA Finals was unfortunately in the movie “How to lose a guy in 10 days”. They lost those fake finals to the Knicks, how about that?

They might be making a comeback, though. The fun team they used to be could once again excite us basketball fans with rookie phenom De'Aaron Fox, second year shooting guard Buddy Hield, big man Willy Cauley-Stein and the rest of the young core. After all the DeMarcus Cousins drama they dealt with I sincerely hope they find their way with this young squad and make the Kings games a must watch. Fan-ability: C

San Antonio Spurs

You know how some organizations are so good they become kind of annoying and after a while they stop being annoying again because you’re in awe of how well they do everything? That’s the San Antonio Spurs.

Only the Spurs can reach the playoffs a record setting 20 consecutive years (also the longest active playoff streak in any major North American sports league as of 2017) and keep drafting really good under the radar rookies, who eventually turn out to be really good. You can’t talk about the Spurs without talking about Tim Duncan or Gregg Popovich, and even though there have been a lot of other amazing Spurs players (David Robinson, Manu, Tony Parker, Sean Elliott, now Kawhi, etc.) it’s Pop and Timmy’s dynasty. And is it just me or was Gregg Popovich really unlikable back when we didn’t really know him? He seemed like a real a**hole but now people want him to be the next President.

They are an iconic dynasty that will be a trademark of greatness for years and years to come. Watching Timmy retire was hard, I can’t imagine what’ll be like when Pop calls it quits.

Fan-ability: A+

Toronto Raptors

All Star Weekends aren’t really important. I was always a fan of these long, flashy, ceremonious events, but not really. It’s like it’s supposed to happen and it’s kinda like the mid-season awards in a way but it’s definitely not a big deal. In the year 2000 (shout out to Conan) though, it mattered, mainly because of the Canada’s basketball ambassador unbelievable display of amazingness and athletic dunk display that became, and still is, the single best dunk contest in the history basketball. Vince Carter was “Air Canada” but eventually it became a messy divorce with the franchise and once again became a sub par team. Nowadays they a decent top 3 team in the Leastern Conference, but I don’t expect them to go further than the second round of the playoffs, even though Masai Ujiri managed to assemble a nice roster that inlcudes the Big Medium 3 of: Lowry, DeRozan and Ibaka. The Raptors have always been ok and cool to root for (they are the only non U.S. team in the league, and that might be a plus) and the list of iconic players is actually pretty decent: Vince, T-Mac, Damon “Mighty Mouse” Stoudamire, Marcus Camby and Skip to my Lou (Rafer Alston). The most notable Raptors fan nowadays is Toronto’s rapper Drake (see also: Nav Bhatia) which really boosts popularity for the franchise, even when we know LeBron will have his way with the Raps come playoff time. Fan-ability: B+

Utah Jazz

Ok, first things first... let me just say that the biggest oxymoron is this franchise’s name. Has there ever been actual jazz played in the Mormon state? (shout out to Trey Parker and Matt Stone for the hilarious “Book of Mormon” musical) Now that I got that out of the way, let’s go ahead and analyze the franchise. They’ve been a really well coached team for the most part (Jerry Sloan and now Quin Snyder) and even when they’re lacking star power they seem to be that team you don’t want to face. They’re really good at drafting and developing young talent and that translates into really feisty hard working potential all-stars... that eventually leave via free agency, probably because Utah isn’t the sexiest place in the world. Deron Williams was on his way of becoming the best point guard in the league and almost overnight became an expendable bench player. Gordon Hayward was the big white hope but opted to join forces with his former Butler head coach in Boston and got injured 5 minutes into his Celtic debut... wait is this a “Leave Utah curse” theory? Nah. Hayward will be alright... I hope. The 90′s and 2000′s were different though, Utah was a star studded franchise always representing the west come playoff time mainly because of the one the best duos of all time: Karl Malone and John Stockton. Although they never got to win the championship they’ll always be remembered as a legit force in the league. As for now, let’s just hope Rudy Gobert keeps developing into the best dang Center in the league... he certainly has the potential. Rodney Hood (awesome name by the way) needs to become an offensive force and most importantly be consistent. Dante Exum sadly, hasn’t really lived up to the hype and I believe has reached his ceiling. They are what all Jazz teams are, gritty and tough. Fan-ability: C+

Washington Wizards

DC’s team is and has always been a conundrum. Wizards teams have been pretty good on paper but none of them, including a Michael Jordan led team, could really make them relevant (granted MJ was getting pretty old and wasn’t in the best shape). It seems the current team is the best the franchise has had in a long time, yet they’re not close to being a Conference favorite. Do the Wizards have big names? Yup, John Wall is in the prime of a stellar career. Bradley Beal has proven he can stay healthy and stay productive. Otto Porter got paid All-Star money and should become one for this team to really go further. Are they well coached? Debatable, but I believe Scott Brooks is a huge improvement over several of the last coaches in Washington. Now the big question is can they actually dethrone Cleveland? The other big question is whether this roster is built for the future like Boston is. Sadly, my answer for both these questions is no. They had their share of bad draft picks (Kwame Brown most notably), players gone bad (Gilbert Arenas, Juwan Howard) iconic players that never really transcended or carried the franchise (MJ, Chris Webber), but the bottom line is they’re a cool franchise to root for (used to be cooler when they were the “Bullets”) in a cool city. Hopefully one day they’ll become a legitimate championship contending team. Maybe if they figure out how to get Boogie Cousins that’ll happend sooner rather than later. Fan-ability: B-

[sherman-farm]

Hi @ask-ravenridge-farm!!! I was your Secret Santa this year and wrote you a little fic! I really hope you enjoy, and happy holidays!!!

~*~*~

“Morri! Morri, wake up!”

Morrigan sat up straight in bed, spitting a hank of red hair out of her mouth. Someone was pounding on her front door, frantic and loud.

Wind whistled through the cracks in the wall around the window; she grimaced at the frigid temperature in the room. Something else to fix, she supposed. But for the moment, she needed to figure out who was so urgently requesting her attention at – she glanced at the alarm clock on her side table – 5:50 in the morning.

Morri yawned and stretched as she made her way to the front door and undid the lock. The hammering never stopped, right up until she yanked the door open and nearly got a fist to the face for her troubles. She managed to dodge out of the way just in time.

Two people stood on her front porch, bundled up against the winter’s chill. One brushed purple hair out of her eyes, giving the other person a disapproving glare. He was the frantic caller, with usually spiky blonde hair flattened beneath a grayish toque.

“Good morning,” Morri said. “And why are you awake so early in the morning?”

“You gotta help me out,” Sam said, trying to rake a hand through his hair and failing due to the hat. “I really messed up and I need your help.”

She felt an eyebrow quirk up. This was unexpected. “Come inside, before you let all the hot air out,” she instructed, stepping aside to allow them entrance.

Morri took a few minutes to dress properly while the two thawed out by the brick fireplace. Once she was bundled up in an oversized sweater, her favorite red skirt with suspenders, and insulated leggings, she put a kettle on the stove to boil water for her morning drink while she figured out what Sam had gotten himself into this time.

He didn’t look much better in the warmth, still looking beyond worried as he paced in front of the fire. Abigail watched him silently, seated in the only comfy chair Morri owned.

“All right,” Morri said, stopping him mid-step. “Talk. What’s wrong?”

Sam darted a glance over at the calendar on the wall between the fireplace and the window. Morri followed his gaze; it was late in the year, only a few short days left before the Feast of the Winter Star and the new year. In fact, it was the 23rd. One full day before the Feast, which suggested…

“I forgot about the secret gift exchange,” Sam said all in a rush. “My secret gift… person is Emily, and I know she gets cloth and stuff every year, so I wanted to get her a gemstone or something instead. Except I have no money and haven’t been into the mines before. So…”

He trailed off, and Morri let out a sigh. “You want to go into the mines, and you want me to go with you.”

“Not just you! Abby and Seb said they’d go too!” Sam made a grand gesture, complete with jazz hands, towards Abigail. She waved with a laugh.

The tea kettle started to whistle; Morri put her morning cup on to brew and considered the situation. “You know it’s dangerous down there, right?” she said.

“That’s why I wanted to ask you to go with us! The more the safer, right?” Sam beamed at her, looking for all the world like a golden retriever.

Morri caught Abigail’s eye over Sam’s shoulder. The other young woman shrugged one shoulder and shook her head a little.

“And does Sebastian know he’s been drafted for this adventure?” she asked.

“Yeah, he does.” Abigail finally spoke up, unmoving from her spot by the fire. “He said it was up to you, but he wouldn’t go if you didn’t.”

So he’d just put all the pressure of the final decision on her shoulders. Great. Fantastic.

Well… it wasn’t like she had much else to do that day.

Morri let out a sigh. “Give me half an hour to eat something and prep, and we’ll go meet up with Seb at the mine entrance.”

Sam’s whoop of glee almost made braving the chill outside and the danger of the mines worth it.

~*~*~

Sebastian, true to his word, met them at the entrance to the mines. He was smoking, Morri thought at a distance, but realized as they drew closer that it was just puffs of his breath in the air. He pushed off the stone wall and ducked into the cavern before they reached him, leaving the three of them to face the shadowy entrance alone.

“It’s not too late to change your mind,” Morri said as they stopped at the arch carved into the cliffside. “You can always get her something different…:

But she could see by the set of Sam’s jaw that it was a lost cause. “Let’s do this,” he said, hefting the sword she’d lent him in both hands, and stepped through the entrance.

Abigail shrugged again when she looked over to the side. “I tried to talk him out of it last night,” she said. “He seemed pretty set on it.”

“Are you ready for this? It’ll be a lot different than practicing in town,” Morri warned.

“I can handle it.” She gave a resolute nod and tightened her grip on the sword hilt at her hip. “Let’s do this.”

She walked into the mines. Morri brought up the rear.

“About time.” Sebastian’s voice loomed out of the darkness as their eyes adjusted from the gently-falling snow outside to the near pitch-black interior. “Started to think you weren’t coming after all.”

“Never rush a lady,” Abigail said primly, belied immediately by the snort of laughter from her general direction.

Morri unstrapped the second sword from her pack, offering it to the general area. “Sebastian, here,” she said. “Can’t go down there without some form of protection.”

Hands brushed hers as the sword was tugged gently from her grasp. “Thanks,” Sebastian said, and she could see well enough in the low light levels by that point to see a shadow of a smile on his face.

“So what gem were you thinking, Sam?” Abigail asked as she spun her sword in a few fancy swirls and spins.

He frowned. “I… guess I hadn’t really thought about it. Uh… she likes rubies? And emeralds? I think?”

“Specific,” Morri muttered as she checked her sword over for nicks and scratches. Sebastian snorted beside her.

“Morri? You’re the one who goes mining all the time.” Sam turned to her with a look akin to a deer staring into oncoming headlights.

She let out a weary sigh and racked her brain for whatever knowledge she had of the mines. “Our best bet would probably be amethyst. That’s pretty common on higher floors. Less danger.”

“But-“

Abigail elbowed Sam in the side, giving him a sharp raised eyebrow as she did so. He wilted a little, sword point dragging on the dirty ground. “All right.”

So the four of them bundled into the elevator and dropped down to the 10th floor, where Morri decided they’d probably stand a decent chance of both finding an amethyst and surviving any encounters with monsters. The bell chimed as they arrived; they offloaded in a rush, crowding around the ladder to the next floor.

“Ladies first?” Sam asked, voice a little higher pitched than normal.

Abigail and Morri exchanged a Look. “Fine,” Morri said, and clambered down the rungs to level 11.

It wasn’t too bad that day, luckily; a few slimes made the odd gloopy noises she’d come to recognize in the distance. A grub hid nearby under some weeds. She swung her sword at it a few times before it could transform into those annoying flies that loved to harass her. By the time it was dead, the rest of her impromptu adventuring party had descended into the depths with her.

“Look for loose rocks on the floor,” she instructed. “Sam, take this.” She unstrapped her pick from her pack and offered it to him, trying to keep her head on a swivel as she looked for any approaching monsters. “And please hurry.”

He got to work as the other three guarded him, defending against any incoming slimes and bugs that may pass by. Maybe her luck was bad that day, or time just felt like it was dragging. Either way, it felt like it was taking forever for Sam to find anything besides rocks.

Finally, just as Morri swung hard with her dark obsidian blade and cleaved a slime clean in two, Sam let out a triumphant shout. “Got it!” he yelled, waving it wildly over his head as he jumped up and down.

“Great!” she said with a relieved grin, which quickly dropped as she heard the weird noises that signaled yet another slime’s approach. “Let’s get out of here!”

~*~*~

They retreated back to Morri’s house, where she doled out mugs of hot cocoa as they warmed up from the brisk walk back. “So you got what you were looking for?” Sebastian asked, sipping from his mug and making no sign of discomfort at the hot drink.

“Yep!” Sam raised his prize into the air. “Come see!”

So the other three crowded around. It turned out he’d found a geode, filled with purple crystals inside. All three ‘ooh’d and ‘aah’d over it appropriately, before he stowed it back in his pocket.

“Don’t wanna lose it,” he said. “We just went to all that trouble to find it!”

“Finally, some common sense,” Morri heard Sebastian mutter into her mug of cocoa and had to stifle a snort. He glanced at her with a sliver of a smirk on his lips.

They sat and traded stories of Feasts past until the sun began to go down. Only then did Abigail start and stand up. “I should get home,” she said. “It’s later than I thought. Plus dinner’s probably over already and I’m starving.”

“Smart,” Morri said, who hadn’t even considered she hadn’t had dinner until the other said something. “I’ll do the same here. You all good to walk home?” It was mostly directed at Sebastian, since he lived up on the mountain and it was treacherous enough in the light, let alone the dark and cold.

“We’ll be fine,” Sam reassured her with a grin. Sebastian just nodded a little, already moving to pull on his black (big surprise there) coat and scarf. “Hey, we’ll see you at the Feast!”

“See you then,” she said as she ushered them out the door. She waved until she was sure they were on their way; then she retreated inside and locked the door behind her. Dinner was calling her name.

~*~*~

Morri rubbed her arms against the chill, wishing for a mug of hot cider as she admired the Winter Star decorations scattered around the square. She had to give it to the tiny town: they definitely went all out on the celebration. She herself had dressed up for the occasion: that same red skirt she favored and a green sweater, bedecked with silver trimmings and decorations that formed bells, strings of lights, and stars. Her hair was tucked up in a braided bun, a few loose tendrils around her face. She turned in a slow circle, admiring the twinkling lights hanging in the square, strung between the light poles.

A chilly breeze swept through the square, bringing with it the scent of sweets and savories alike. There were pies and cakes and cookies weighing down one of the feast tables, while another bore enough food to feed the entire village with plates left over. Her mouth watered at the sight. She’d already done her duty as gift-giver and handed over a bottle of Ravenridge’s finest wine to Leah; there was nothing stopping her from paying the table a visit.

She wasn’t the only one drawn in by the siren scent of the food; she bumped into Shane as she reached for a plate. “Hey,” he muttered, quiet below the laughter and cheer that filled the air around them.

“Hey,” she said in kind, scooping a pile of mashed potatoes onto her plate. “Happy Winter Star.”

“Same to you.”

He trailed after her in the line, both filling their plate with an assortment of goodies baked and cooked by the town. It was only at the end of the line, before they split to go their separate ways, that he grunted as if in surprise or recognition and gestured her to follow him.

Marnie smiled at them both as they approached one of the tables, but she was deep in conversation with Robin and Jas was nowhere to be seen, so Morri just smiled briefly back. Shane deposited his plate at his place setting and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Uh, I was your secret gift giver this year,” he said.

Morri started; it had almost completely slipped her mind that she would also be receiving a gift from someone. “Oh, really?” she said, nearly facepalming at the reply.

“And I didn’t know what to get you, but someone said you liked pepper poppers, so…” And Shane produced a plate of pepper poppers from the seat beside his.

She could tell her eyes had gone big at the sight of the food. He laughed a little. “I guess that was a good idea?”

“An excellent one. GImme,” she said, reaching for the plate with her free hand. “I gotta try this.”

“Marnie helped,” he said as she took a bite. “Homemade. I hope they’re good.”

She paused, savoring the flavors for a long moment. “These are great,” she told him vehemently. “You did a fantastic job.”

His uncertain smile faded into something more real; his shoulders relaxed. “Good. That’s… good.”

There was a shriek of glee from across the square; Morri looked up from her gift with mild alarm. Emily had thrown her arms around Sam in a tight hug, clutching her geode in one fist. “Thank you!” she yelled, then repeated it a few more times for good measure. “I love it!”

Morri caught both Sebastian and Abigail’s eyes briefly. She gave them a little satisfied smile, then took another bite of her pepper poppers.

Regardless of everyone else, she felt this Feast of the Winter Star had gone well – very well indeed.

( @stardewevents )