#Who was Crowley Before the Fall?

[goodomensmostlyoftenscrowley]

In Furfur's angel book, under Aziraphale's spot is an angel known as "Baraqiel", but also throughout Aziraphale’s passage are Furfur’s notes about Crowley, albeit like the book are badly spelled.

On sighting: AVVOID. A wily opponent, this demon smiter must be warily approached. Report any interactions to the demon Crowley.

Crowley is, then circled with the following notes, again with bad spelling. Changed his name? Yuck! Crawley is suspishus! Don’t trust him! His hair is bad!

Then Baraqiel’s passage begins:

Baraqiel

Dominion. Angel of the Sky.

Appearance: Hair an eye-burning jinnjer. Eyebrows with the appearance of a grisly slug. Often graped in red. Occashunly damp, most likely singed.

The rest of the passage is cut off by the end of the paper and the next page is filled by Aziraphale’s picture.

Most of this appearance could be interepted to describe Crowley.

An eye-burning ginger. (Also, David Tennant character has noted a particular interest in being ginger so…)

I’m not sure what eyebrows with the appearance of a grisly slug means though.

However, often draped in red. May be a bit much to consider Crowley, while he does have red/ginger hair, he usually wears black though the color he usually contrasts the black with usually is red.

And again, I’m not sure what “Occasionally damp, most likely singed” means, they seem to be opposites to me but they’re demons. They can't spell and frankly they don't seem to be able to read too well (thought it may just be dark in Hell)

A dominion is what Muriel mentions is considered be considered acceptable to open Gabriel’s file, “a throne, a dominion, or above” and Crowley mentions how he hadn’t worked with weather in years, but this is really all we have to work on in-universe. I don’t know who Baraqiel was in any sort of mythology or religion, really if they weren’t in Supernatural, Good Omens, or Lucifer, I’m lost when it gone to religious angels.

Here's a picture of the two pages.

I recently found this one theory on TikTok and I think this may be Crowley’s identity. I wrote this reblog/reply last night to another tumblr user and I'm just using it to spread my theory because there's no sense in rewriting it. So I copied and pasted it below.

I've just found the theory that Crowley may have been the archangel, Kokabeil who was the angel of the stars.

However, he did fall but not because he was evil, no, no, no--but because he didn't like how the demons were treated after they fell and think about it, the impulsive, curious Crowley voices his opinion and remember how angry God got at Job for wanting to know what happened to his children. She acted like he had no right to ask her what her actions had done to his own children, now think about a much younger God being questioned by a high-ranking archangel and this is Crowley so likely it wasn't really done with lots of politeness even back then, Crowley wasn't exactly as polite as Aziraphale but more innocent. This means that he didn't fall during the "Fall" but after the "Fall" which is why he insists he didn't fall but "sauntered vaguely downwards"

There are persoanlity traits that line up. Kokabiel was described as being childlike and fair, especially when it came to the stars just like how Crowley was acting when he was creating the nebula. And his name literally translates into "Star of God" which was fitting because he taught his pupils--other angels about the constellations just like he was doing with Aziraphale.

One source states that he was quite philosophical to the point that his readings didn't make much sense. Even Aziraphale seems to think Crowley is a bit off when he can't remember the saying of what water slides off of while they're at dinner and then later when they're back in the care at the very least half an hour later he suddenly shouts out, "DUCKS!" (Though I've always thought of this as proof Crowley may be ADHD but that's another argument/rant)

Aziraphale and Crowley often have philosophical debates with Aziraphale having having little opinion himself, always staying firmly on God's and heaven's side, "the ineffible plan" but when Crowley points out the unfairness to everyone else like the poor opposed to the rich or how banishing Adam and Eve from the garden from just taking an apple as if was their first offense, Aziraphale always brushes it off, stating it's best not to speculate while Crowley does speculate. Crowley's morals always seem to be for equality and fairness as oppose to Aziraphale's subtle (or subtle compared to other angels') holier-than-thou attitudes. Aziraphale is insistent that good will always win while Crowley doesn't want anyone to win because it's not fair to anyone, he seems to feel that with the war, everyone loses, especially the humans which is why he's so upset when he speaks to God saying "don't test them to destruction" because he knows they'll all die and angels and demons are just going to get hurt again, just like before while Aziraphale sees it as an unfortunate inevitability but is only convinced by Crowley's "tempting". You have to remember, Crowley fell but Aziraphale did not. Crowley mentions not being the "original concept designer" but working very closely upstairs on it, presumably God or at the least Metatron.

Also this may be for all angels but I always found it odd that Neil Gaiman specifically confirmed that Crowley was genderfluid, I mean, Crowley specifically, instead of several angels and demons at once, but why Crowley specifically? Sure, fans speculated because he played the female nanny to Warlock but there are plenty of angels who are generally considered to be the opposite gender than they're portrayed by in the show, God is generally assumed to be a male and so is Michael and Shax but they're portrayed by female actresses. Uriel is typically shown as male but is played by a female actress and is portrayed as non-binary. Pollution and Beelzebub were both male in the books but portrayed by female actresses and are presented as non-binary, sure, they're general gender is angel or demon or... horseman (whatever pollution is) but Crowley specifically is referred to as gender fluid and Kokabiel is generally presented as male but some believe he can appear as female. I may be reading into that one though but it's always been struck me as odd that only Crowley is described to be genderfluid, the only one out of all the angels and demons. But again, this is just according one source I found on Google so it may just be that Neil Gaiman sees Crowley as Genderfluid which is great and totally acceptable.

But my point is I am certain that Crowley is Kokabiel and it counts as a reference to Doctor Who so what else do you expect from David Tennant.

Sorry for this long rant.

Kokabeil is my personal favorite theory and as we all know Doctor Who references seem to gravitate to David Tennant.

Anyone else had new thoughts on who Crowley was before the ‘fall’ since Season 2 aired…

I know the Raphael theory is still knocking about (actually had a weird epiphany regarding this last night so more of that later) but I think Crowley was an entirely different angel.

From Season 2 we now know he was a very powerful angel indeed (dominion, throne or greater) thanks to his classified document clearance in heaven, but also because of the seriously powerful miracle he and Aziraphale cooked up with very minimal effort.

After an initial idea and since doing some research, I’m leaning towards him being Samael, Angel of Death.

Now I don’t mean Samael as in the one who becomes Lucifer - there are many texts that see these as two separate entities, with Lucifer falling thanks to his pride and Samael… well did he even fall at all?

Samael is one of the Angels of Creation alongside Orifiel, Anael, Zachariah, Raphael, Gabriel and Michael. In Season 2 in episode 1 we see Crowley as an Angel playing a pretty big part in the creation of the cosmos, in collaboration with others.

Samael is the ruler of the Fifth Heaven, which happens to be Earth.

Samael is known as the “Venom of God” and is executioner of death sentences as decreed by God. He is the accuser, seducer and destroyer. As a seducer, Samael tempts humans into committing evil deeds. Through Samael, God tests humanity and the Archangel draws out the sinful and unrepentant, then God judges then and Samael destroys them.

In seducing humanity into acts of evil, Samael is just doing his job. He is both good and evil and is highly loyal to God’s word, doing his bidding without question - he mostly destroys sinners.

Samael is also the one who planted the Tree of Knowledge in the garden of Eden to tempt Adam. God however forbade Adam to touch it and punished Samael by banishing him. In retaliation, Samael took the form of the serpent and tempted Eve to eat the fruit from the tree.

When Abraham’s faith was tested by God and commanded to sacrifice his son Isaac, it was Samael who whispered in his ear to disobey.

So where does Crowley fit into this then? Well Samael hasn’t exactly ‘fallen’ from heaven, his angelic role took him down to Earth, performing deeds considered demonic and evil and his refusal to bow down to God’s creation led to his banishment. You could say he ‘sauntered vaguely down’?

We know from Season 1 that Crowley was the serpent that tempted Eve so he fits into the Samael theory there.

In Season 2 we see that Crowley had a ‘permit’ from God to destroy Job’s children and possessions to test his faith in God.

In Season 1, Crowley talks to God and says “I know you’re testing them, you said you were going to be testing them. But you shouldn’t test them to destruction. Not to the end of the world.”

So whilst Samael is an Angel, he very much has the role and characteristics of a demon and can be described as a fugitive or wanderer.

Regarding Samael planting the Tree of Knowledge, who else do we know with a bit of a plant fetish?!

Some other fun facts: Samael has red hair, and is associated with the planet Mars. He is also associated with the left side, the North and Tuesday.

It’s also said that Samael’s name shouldn’t be spoken aloud so as not to draw his attention - is this why Crowley chose a different name and doesn’t introduce himself to Aziraphale at the Horsehead nebula?

——————————————-

So here’s the slightly scary part and if Crowley actually was/is Samael…

In the Second Coming (as was mentioned as Heavens next focus at the end of season 2) the messiah is supposed to deliver everyone from death and everyone will be resurrected. But he’ll do more than bring life, he’s supposed to bring an end to death itself, including the very concept of it. Without the finality of destruction, the Angel of Death (Samael) serves no purpose and is himself, annihilated. Thus, with death undone, Samael becomes the Anti-Christ.

Could season 3 see Aziraphale finally forced to make a choice between heaven and the one he loves?

[egophiliac]

so on the subject of the "Crowley is secretly Revaan/Laverne/Levin/please Twst give us his name" theory, I think my feelings are best summed up as "I don't really buy it, but it's funny". like, in all seriousness, I'm not opposed to it; I have enjoyed the writing in Twst so far and I'm willing to trust that whatever happens will, you know, make sense and not be terrible. but I'm just not really convinced by the current evidence! maybe that'll change once we learn more, we'll see!

with that said, may I propose a few alternate theories about the possible Crowley/Revaan connection:

[katt1e]

Weeping angel.

Wip?

[sandycookie]

fellas the book 7 update…. *crying*

(refer to the tags for my rambling, just to minimize ppl accidentally spoiling themselves)

[goatbeard-goatbeard]

I don’t buy that Crowley is jealous in the coffee shop, he’s just amused and playing it up for the humans

✨ however ✨

when Aziraphale is absolutely determined to help a bouncy, innocent fugitive from heaven, and will not be talked out of it… if Crowley was only worried for his safety, he probably would have stayed

but I think he sort of senses why Aziraphale has to help this specific flavor of angel, why he stubbornly refuses to be swayed by fear (this time). and that, much more than the nakedness, gives Crowley feelings that he can only express with Lightning

because on the one hand it’s sweet that Aziraphale is saying “I was wrong to chicken out back then, I should have helped you” but then the you-insert in this situation is motherfucking GABRIEL lmaooooooooo

[lucere-aeresta]

Headcanon: the angel who became Crowley.

Crowley, this guy is kind of...well, VERY important. Like, he had a hand in the creation of the world, which is supposed to be God's own feat, and when he became a demon he tempted Eve as a serpent, which is mostly attributed to Satan himself.

What a guy.

I know, a show needs to be dramatic about the characters, but Azi didn't get all the glorious deeds. Crowley did.

It was widely believed that Crowley used to be Raphael, but Neil Gaiman made it clear that was not true in an FAQ. Also, Raphael never fell from heaven. Doesn't make sense he becomes a demon. I know GO is creative about what the characters do or who/what they are, but at least until now, it sticks tightly with the real-world canon (whatever that is) about who is an angel and who is a demon. I personally think either archangel Raphael will show up later in S3, or simply because Azi's name is derived from this one so they avoided it.

Another theory is that he is Gadreel, who, as described in The Book of Enoch, "led Eve astray". Considering Gadreel is also one of the five satans or five lesser satans (satan being a title rather than a specific entity), it sounds promising. The only problem I have with this theory is that he is not that important as an angel. Like, he was not mentioned being an archangel but merely one of the Watchers, and the reason he fell was having sex with human women, which, of course, can be ignored for the purpose of creativity; but still, not a very famous angel.

Essentially, nobody has heard of him. From the perspective of a scriptwriter: if the identity of Angel Crowly is to be revealed, it's better to give him a name more known to the audience than just make him a random dude buried in the mountain of apocalyptic literature.

(If you want to be all nerdy about it, the "led Eve astray" doesn't even make sense, since it was sandwiched between all the other things Gadreel did: teaching humans "all the blows of death" and showing humans all kinds of weapons and war stuff, etc. By its contextual logic, if "led Eve astray" shows up as the first deed/crime of his, then it is likely to refer to the temptation in Eden; but in its current context, it sounds to me like he taught Eve something about killing or death or something to that nature.)

Anyway, I don't think Gadreel is the answer. Of course, I am not against this interpretation--I'm not against any headcanon and/or ideas about his identity; I just personally don't find it satisfying.

For me, the question is as simple as "Who has appeared in various texts and lore as both an archangel and has fallen to become an archdemon?" (Other than Lucifer/Satan himself.)

The first one that came to my mind? Samael.

And yes, in some lore he assumed the form of the snake and tempted Adam and Even--it was also he planted the Tree of Knowledge before his fall, which sounds close enough to say he participated in the creation of the world itself.

Sometimes Samael is identified as Satan, or at least largely functions as Satan, the accuser, the adversary. He leads the fallen angels, goes about to attempt humans, and creates demon children with Lilith.

On the other hand, in a lot of ancient literature, he is depicted as an archangel who rules over a significant portion of God's realms, sometimes even one of the Seven Archangels of God. Even nowadays you can still find Archangel Samiel (a variation of his name) shown in a few churches.

The significant role Samael plays as both a demon and an angel, as well as his duality presented in various traditions and literature, convinces me that he could be a good candidate for Crowley's hidden identity. Of course, Samael's fame as the "angel of death" doesn't fit Crowley, but, well, it's GO we are talking about. Gotta take some liberty.

I wish there was a fallen angel with a proper angel name--all the fallen angels have names that appear to be against God, indicating that their names might have been changed after the fall. It's really hard to find one. But I think Samael can pass this one: his name means "venom of God", kind of indicating he is not really a bad guy but just serving God in his own way, which is believed true in some traditions. (And, in the book of Job, Satan is not an enemy but the accuser who got God's permission. In GO it was Crowley who messed with Job--he is essentially doing all the Satan things.) Also, since even the churches are alright with archangel Samiel, I don't have anything to complain.

Btw, Gadreel passes this one too. His name means "wall of God", even better.

I also like the idea to use some characters like Raphael, an archangel who's never fallen, to emphasize his glorious past and to avoid a hidden demon identity (which is tricky but can be explained as he got beef with Hell and didn't want to be seen as the prominent demon anymore so he just uses an alias). I just have a hard time finding a fitting character like that and somehow Raphael doesn't feel right (also rejected by Gaiman himself, but that's only secondary).

Samael is the closest I can get. I am curious to see his angelic identity revealed in S3, if it's ever going to be.

PS: I was wondering why they didn't give Azi a typical angel name, something ends with "el", meaning God. I thought it was indicating that he is not within the high-rank angels or he is going to fall or something in S3, but in the FAQ it seems...that's just a random decision? Well, I know I'm always looking into these things too seriously lol

[catwouthats]

One small detail I like in Good Omens is the fact that Angels turn themselves to plasma/light to quickly move around in space since there is no gravity :)

I like to imagine that all the talking in space is somewhat telecommunative too since sound can’t travel in space!

[yellow-faerie]

Wow, I have a fic description and a fic title before I've even established a proper fic plot

(this is probably because I'm very excited about this fic and it's potential...)

Edit:

Here are my tags because I started explaining the plot and want it actually in the post rather than just the tags lol:

[mauxanhduong]

also i forget if this was like a niche thing or just me. but was “i’ll see your heart and i’ll raise you mine” a staple of anyone else’s gomens phase because that song is engraved in my head but i never see anyone talk abt it the way like. from eden is

[un-fwuit-un-fwog]

The Rain is Especially Loud Tonight

Synopsis: The Prefect gets hurt due to Crowley's negligence.

TW: Injury, Stitches, Medical Stuff, Prefect gets caught under a collapsed Ramshackle

Part 1 (here), Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9 (coming soon), . . .

Tick Tick Tick Tick

The room would be completely silent were it not for the ticking of the clock on the wall.

The environment was more comfortable than your usual medical setting, but it still felt cold in a way.

The door creaked open and in stepped professor Crewel. "Hey, Pup." His voice lacked its usual stern tone one would hear in the classroom; instead, his voice was gentle and almost hoarse.

The hoarseness was no doubt a result of him screaming at the headmage in a roar you shiver even recalling. He had spent hours tearing into the man for his gross negligence and irresponsibility.

"Pup?" His voice became more worried when you failed to answer.

"Sorry." A meek, rasped voice leaves you throat. Your throat burns with dryness despite the 6 glasses of water you already drank, and it feels like every syllable echoes through your head and causes an intense, throbbing pain. You don't recognize the voice that claws its way out of your throat as your own.

You hear the soft scrape of a chair on the floor next to your bed. "No. Don't apologize, Pup." Rocking your gaze slowly over to him its clear to you, with the way his jaw clenches and unclenches while his eyes search the blanket covering you, that he wants to say something, but isn't sure what.

You slowly rock your head to look forward again. "Everyone's been in such a panic. . .and it's my fault, I-"

The man cuts you off as you choke on your words: "Pup. This is not your fault."

"But-" Your throat feels like its been given a massage with a thousand razor blades. The coughing your attempts to speak cause only make the pain worse.

Crewel quickly grabs another glass of water and holds it up to your lips for you to drink. "But nothing, Pup- Keep those arms down or you'll re-open the wounds. That old building was bound to collapse at some point. We all knew it. If the fault is on anyone it's on us staff. Crowley made you stay there, and we didn't stop him." The glass cup clinks slightly too harshly onto the nightstand as he sets it down.

Silence falls between the two of you.

Tick Tick Tick Tick

The ticking of the clock numbs your thoughts. You force your mind to stop focusing on the pain radiating from every inch of your body and instead listen to the steady ticking of the clock. The only other sound that can be herd is the occasional hurried footsteps outside the door as the other staff do their best to take care of the situation.

Your injuries have already been treated by a specialty team sent from STYX the moment the news got to them. They were the only ones aside from Grim, Leona, and the staff that had seen your mangled form before you were wrapped up like a mummy. You didn't have to ask how bad it was. Seeing Crowley throw up at the sight of you was enough to tell you it was bad.

The STYX team had spent nearly a whole 24 hours stitching you back together like some ragdoll and rearranging the many pieces of you that had been ripped and jostled out of place. If not for them. . .well, you don't want to think about it. If you looked like a mummy on the outside, you were sure that under the bandages you looked like Frankenstein's monster. There really wasn't a single bit of you that got out of that death trap unscathed.

You were kept in the school infirmary instead of being carted off to some high-tech STYX facility only because they needed to operate on you as soon as possible and didn't want to move you too much after the initial procedures. They made do by shipping a ton (literally speaking, more like 3 tons) of medical equipment to the school, most of which was now littered around the infirmary in a rushed yet professional way.

Despite your closeness to your friends, the only people who had come to see you were the staff. It's not that none of your friends wanted to see you, but that they weren't allowed to. The doctor's worried having them in so soon, when they were still full of hysteria from the news, wouldn't be the best idea. They weren't able to text you either as your phone had been crushed in the collapse.

"How's Grim?"

Professor Crewel hums: "Physically, he's pretty unscathed. He just has a few scrapes and bruises. Mentally, he's a bit traumatized."

You supposed that made sense. You didn't remember much, but what you did remember was Grim's voice. He had been returning to the dorm from after school detention when he found the building in shambles on the ground. He called out to you but your lungs were filled with debris and your torso was being crushed by layers of rubble. The dorm ghosts met Grim at the edge of the junk pile that used to be a dorm and confirmed that you were inside and that you needed help. The ghosts talked to you as you laid there, not being able to physically move anything off you themselves. They kept you awake and assured you that Grim was getting help.

Not long later you heard shouting. Two of the ghosts stayed with you while the third went out to meet the staff and fill them in. You were told after the fact that that's about the time they called up Leona to use his unique magic so they could get you out as soon as possible (that was the first time many saw the lion run).

You were blanking in and out of consciousness when they found you, but you remember them finding you. The feeling of the weight of the rubble lessening as it was methodically turned to sand and removed (in order to not end up crushing you with sand instead), the small grains dripping on your face, and eventually, the full force of the pouring rain battering your face as the last of the rubble was removed from above you. You remember Leona's manic eyes turning horrified, Crowley puking, and worst of all, Grim's face.

"STYX sent over a few trauma counselors. There are ones assigned specifically to Leona and Grim as well since they saw some of the worst of it." Crewel finally broke the silence again.

"And you? You and. . .the other teachers were there too. . .and Sam."

"Calm down, Pup. We've all had evaluations done to assess how we're handling it. We'll be fine.

"What about. . ." Your voice trails off, but from the look in your eyes, Crewel can tell what you were about to ask.

"What about the headmage?"

You nod, wincing slightly when the motion disturbs an injury on your neck.

"He's under investigation." Crewel responds after a brief pause. He knew that you surely couldn't be all that fond of the crow, but as you saw it, he was probably also your only ticket home. Crewel looked up to gauge your response, but your face remained neutral.

"And you, Pup? I obviously know you aren't doing particularly well physically right now, but what about mentally?"

"Hm?"

Crewel hesitated, not wanting to dig around in a mental wound and make it worse, "You were. . .under there for a while. I'm sure it must've been. . .scary."

You think for a moment before responding: "Was I really under there that long? It didn't feel like it. . .I think I passed out a few times." Your mumbled words put Crewel at ease in a way. He's not happy that you had been passing out, but he was at least glad that you weren't stuck under there fully conscious and feeling every second tick by as if it were an hour.

"Hmm. I see." Crewel nods. "I ought to let you rest now. A counselor will stop by tomorrow to talk to you about what happened." He stands up as he says this, his knuckles still white from how tightly he'd been gripping the fabric of his pants. "Rest well, Pup."

You simply nod, this time more carefully as to not disturb your wounds, and watch him walk out. When the door closes you swear you hear a choked sob.

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[perlukafarinn]

Dean's boyfriends ranked by how normal they were about him (from most to least):

4. Lee Webb. As normal as one could get about Dean Winchester. Like yeah, he tried to kill him, but that was completely unrelated to them being exes. Even able to have a nice, friendly reunion with Dean, no hard feelings at all (again, until Lee tried to kill him).

3. Benny Lafitte. Genuinely probably the closest Dean got to a normal relationship with a man and they probably could have made it work if they weren't both hung up on other people. Benny did end up sacrificing his life for Dean, after Dean ghosted him even, but Dean was only partly the motivation there. Still, seeing the dynamic between Dean and Cas in Purgatory and willingly inserting yourself is kind of bonkers.

2. Crowley. Man started this relationship thinking he had the upper hand, then caught feelings and fully shattered himself on the altar of Dean Winchester. Went around telling people that Dean completes him after they had a regrettable summer fling, then sacrificed his life for him because that's just what falling in love with late-seasons Dean does to a motherfucker.

(Special mention of Chuck, who while completely abnormal about Dean was never his boyfriend, as much as he wishes.)

1. Castiel. And it's not even close. In this competition, Cas takes the gold, silver and bronze. Laid a hand on Dean in hell and never had a normal thought again. You just know he had fantasies for years about confessing his love for Dean while dying in his arms before it actually happened. Fortunately for him, Dean matches his freak perfectly.

[frogeyedape]

I ran out of tags XD Good Omens Spoilers Beware! (time for dinner now)

The Magic Trick You Didn’t See: Being An Analysis of Good Omens Season 2

(or: Neil Gaiman, Your Brain is Gorgeous But I Have Cracked Your Sneaky Little Code And Have You Dead To Rights*) (*Maybe)

***

Soooooo I just spent the last 48 hours having a BREATHTAKING GALAXY BRAIN EPIPHANY about Good Omens Season 2 and feverishly writing a fuckin16,000 word essay about the incredible magic trick that @neil-gaiman pulled off. 

Yes, it’s long, but I PROMISE your brains will explode. Do you want to know how magic works? Do you want to know what Metatron’s deal is (I’m like 99% sure of this and it’s EXTREMELY FUCKING GOOD)? Do you want to know about the Mystery of the Vanishing Eccles Cakes and the big fat beautiful clue I found in the opening credits? Do you go through the whole inventory of Chekov’s Firearm & Heavy Artillery Discount Warehouse? 

Here is the essay, go read it: https://docs.google.com/document/d/193IXS11XN46lziHRb6eUpM17yK0BQkRqke1Wh64A_e0/ When ur done u can tell me I’m an insane crackpot, and u know what, i won’t even be offended

In case you don’t know whether you want to bother reading the whole enormous thing on google docs, I’ve put the first couple sections of it under the cut. JUST TRUST ME OKAY, HEAR ME OUT, THIS IS VERY EXTREMELY COOL, NEIL IS GOOD AT HIS JOB–

Keep reading

[joycrispy]

I wanna talk about The Angel Who Would Be Crowley.

Because I had a certain set of expectations, which got thoroughly trashed in the first five minutes of S2, and my genuine response is, "Oh, fuck, yup. You're right. That's WAY better."

Looking around at GO fandom, I'm not alone in this. So let's talk about it.

Basically, a lot of people (myself included) believed that he was a high-ranking angel, and therefore as chilly and remote as every other powerful angel we'd seen at that point. We pictured Crowley-To-Be as long-haired, regal and imposing --and the fanart at the time reflected this. I'd link some if Tumblr didn't hate links.

Something like this:

We were collectively drawing on a few things --mostly, Crawly's appearance and general bearing in the Biblical scenes of S1--

--But also scattered hints of his importance, backed up by conspicuous absences in Heaven and a few profound displays of power. That's all better covered elsewhere, so I won't reiterate the arguments here. All I'm saying is: I think our headcanons were justified.

But it turns out he was this:

!!!

With his curly little--!!

And his neat white--!!

IT TURNS OUT, he was an angel who squeaked and squealed when he was happy; who flailed his arms around and made explosion noises with his mouth to explain nebulas; who preened when told his stars were pretty. Furfur, who knew him before the Fall, says:

"You used to jump on me back, little monkey in a waistcoat..."

(The use of a diminutive there, 'little'...oh, that fascinates me.)

In a pretty huge subversion of expectations, we're given these glimpses of an angel who was sweet, and joyful, and heart-meltingly silly.

In sum...an innocent.

(Perhaps innocent to a troubling degree.

We see how he troubles Aziraphale, during their first conversation. He starts looking around and behind them, checking to make sure that no one can HEAR the blithe and reckless things coming out of this angel's mouth. This angel who talks like he's never been reprimanded in his life; like it's never occurred to him that anyone would want to hurt him.

Before the Beginning, Aziraphale understood Heaven better than he did. The danger is plainly occurring to Aziraphale.)

So now, we the viewers are in on a cruel joke that Aziraphale has known all along, which is that this --THIS-- is the angel who--

*checks notes*

--did a million lightyear freestyle dive into a boiling pool of sulphur. For asking questions.

...Imagine you are Aziraphale, and everything inside you wants to believe Heaven are the Good Guys, and God is Good and Everything She does is capital-R Right...and now try to reconcile that. Keep trying. I don't think he ever totally managed it in 6000 years.

All this gets further complicated when we learn that, despite all of the above, we were still right. That sweet excitable babby up there?

He WAS a powerful and high-ranking angel.

That much is explicitly confirmed, with significant evidence that he could have been among the mightiest of archangels...

...Who apparently accosted his fellow angels for piggyback rides. And was remembered millennia later by those (now fallen) angels as something 'little.'

What does that tell us about who he was? Is?

Hell, Aziraphale has known to be wary of the archangels (and the judgements of Heaven in general) since before the Fall even happened. He chooses to believe they are Good; he can't fool himself into thinking they are Safe.

Yet he's absolutely certain that Crowley won't hurt Job's children. Enough to stand in a burning building and say to them, "I can't save you, but don't be afraid. I won't need to."

And what reason does he give?

("I know you."

"You do not know me."

"I know the angel you were.")

What does that tell us about who he was? Is?

("The angel you knew is not me."

But how is Aziraphale supposed to believe that, when he can see him all the time?)

tl;dr --yes, this is better. I love the tragedy of it.

'Innocence died screaming' and all that.

[asterafroditis]

heeeeeyyy! <3

if it's ok with you i wanted to request a scenario where the reader magically gets turned into a baby or a kid (it's temporary) and we get to see how each dorm would take care of them or babysit in their own way

i recently read a fic (Spring of Canathus (AKA: They’re Babies) by cheapshrimpysheep) where the housewardens were the ones turned into babies and the reader had to take care of them so now i’m curious to see the roles reversed and how you write it!

𐔌 . ⋮ tiny trouble .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

☓┆ Platonic TWST Dorms x gn! reader

𓏵 2225 words

ᝰ.ᐟ headcanons, they/them pronouns used, fluff

idk if you wanted this to be everyone in the dorms taking care of the reader or just the housewardens so I just did the dorms, hope you don't mind (-ω-；) feel free to like, reblog, or comment!

ᝰ.ᐟ masterlist

Due to a magical mishap during a potions class, you—an ordinary Night Raven College student—get accidentally hit by an experimental brew that reverts you to a toddler for a week. Crowley, being the usual "problem-solving" headmaster that he is, decides to put you under the other dorms' care for the time being.

─────────────────────────

The moment Heartslabyul find a tiny version of yourself—no taller than a stack of textbooks—at their doorstep, Riddle is on high alert. He is not used to this sort of chaos, but he's the type who takes responsibility very seriously. As housewarden of Heartslabyul, he refuses to let the situation spiral into madness. You are scooped up and brought into the dorm with all the care of a noble cradling royalty.

“You are still a student of Night Raven College,” he says sternly, but with a touch of red in his cheeks, “and until the potion wears off, you’ll be treated with the utmost propriety.”

Riddle enforces structure even in babysitting: strict bedtime (8 p.m. sharp), healthy snacks (apple slices and tea, no tarts), and scheduled learning time. He reads to you with perfect diction, often from spell theory books he assumes you’ll enjoy. You fall asleep halfway through more often than not.

Trey is the one who bakes soft, kid-friendly pastries and distracts you with silly flour shapes. He’s the gentle uncle-type, letting you sit on the counter while he bakes. Cater takes the most pictures, snapping selfies with you in sparkly filters. You don't know what a 'Magicam story' is in this state, but he assures you that you're going viral. Ace tries to teach you card tricks and gets pouty when you don’t get them right; Deuce is surprisingly gentle, kneeling down and listening to your babbles like they’re sacred law.

Riddle might scold them all for not following proper babysitting etiquette, but there’s no mistaking the way his gaze softens when he sees you giggling in the lounge with your makeshift 'older brothers.' He insists on walking you to and from classes himself, even if it's just down the hallway, muttering something about how the potion should’ve never spilled onto you. When the effect wears off and you’re back to normal, Riddle clears his throat, adjusts his collar, and says:

“Ahem. See that you don't get into such trouble again. But... if it were to happen once more—I suppose Heartslabyul would be prepared.”

─────────────────────────

The moment you’re put into Savannaclaw's care, Leona sighs like the universe itself has conspired to ruin his nap schedule. Still, he doesn’t pawn you off. In fact, he picks you up with surprising ease, balancing you on one hip like he’s done it before.

“Don’t expect me to run around after you,” he grumbles, settling back on his bed with you nestled beside him. “If you’ve got energy, go climb Ruggie or something.”

He’s far from what you'd call the nurturing type, but Leona’s brand of babysitting is more subtle. He keeps you close, even if it’s under the guise of using you as a ‘weighted blanket.’ He lets you nap with his tail draped over you and flicks it just to make you giggle. There’s a protective tilt to his ears whenever someone gets too loud nearby.

Ruggie is the one who takes over most of the hands-on work. He’s a natural babysitter—playful, clever, and good at keeping you entertained. He sneakily sneaks snacks your way and even lets you wear his oversized hoodie. Jack, while flustered, tries to keep things orderly, gently offering you his hand when crossing rooms and awkwardly patting your head.

Leona doesn’t miss any of it. He watches from the sidelines, pretending he’s annoyed by your antics, but every so often, you catch him smirking when you try to roar like a lion cub. He teaches you how to lounge properly (“Pillows, sunshine, and silence; it’s an art.”) and, surprisingly, hums a lullaby when you can't sleep.

When the potion wears off, he barely reacts, just flicks your forehead and mutters, “About time.” But later that day, Ruggie approaches you and is eager to tell you all about how soft their housewarden got for the small price of a snack.

─────────────────────────

The moment you were turned into a child and put into Octavinelle's care, Azul was both horrified and intrigued. Horrified because this sort of mishap could potentially cause trouble towards the dorm, and intrigued because, well, he knows all about the marketing genius of getting cute kids to advertise your brand.

Despite his usual composed demeanor, Azul would be extremely careful with you. He wouldn't leave you alone in the lounge, and he'd adjust his tone to be more soothing, almost like how he talks to nervous clients. At one point, you ask if he's your dad now (to the amusement of the twins), and Azul nearly chokes on his tea. "N-No! Absolutely not! I'm merely acting in the best interest of your safety!"

Jade, ever the picture of eerie calm, takes on the role of silent guardian. He's the one making sure you eat, giving you nutritious meals (even if they taste suspiciously like mushrooms), and walking you around the halls with the smooth cadence of a butler. When you start tugging on his sleeve and babbling his name out loud, he only smiles and corrects your posture.

Floyd, on the other hand, thinks this is the best thing that has ever happened. He calls you "Shrimpy Jr." (since you're much smaller than before) and swings you around like a plush toy. He’ll let you sit on his shoulders, give you snacks Azul told him not to, and constantly whines when you get sleepy: “Nooo, Shrimpy Jr.’s nap time again? Boring~! Lemme keep ‘em!”

Between Azul’s careful supervision, Jade’s quiet attentiveness, and Floyd’s chaotic affection, you’re constantly watched—and probably a little spoiled.

─────────────────────────

"A baby?!" Kalim shouts, holding you up like you're the rarest treasure in all of the Scalding Sands, having picked you up from Scarabia's doorstep. "Jamil, look! They're so tiny! Can we keep them?!"

Jamil, ever the voice of reason (and sarcasm), groans. "Kalim, they’re not a pet. They're a student who unfortunately fell victim to a cauldron spilling in potions class. We have to take care of them until they turn back."

But for the time being, you're taken under Scarabia's warm, chaotic wing. Kalim is constantly making sure you’re entertained—building pillow forts, teaching you how to ride the magic carpet (at a very slow speed, much to Jamil’s relief), and throwing spontaneous parties. He even tries to share his jewelry with you, which ends with you trying to eat a ruby ring. Jamil intervenes just in time.

Jamil, while grumbling the whole time, is incredibly attentive. He brushes your hair, makes sure you’re not being overwhelmed, and slips in educational games between Kalim’s circus acts. His stern exterior doesn’t last long when you tug at his sleeve and ask him to read to you. He rolls his eyes, sighs heavily, and pulls out a book—though a small smile betrays him halfway through the first story.

The rest of Scarabia treats you like a tiny sibling. Some of the dorm members even start playing around with you or gently chasing you around the courtyard for laughs. The atmosphere is vibrant, warm, and full of cushiony comfort.

Scarabia doesn’t just babysit you—they adore you.

─────────────────────────

Pomefiore, known for its emphasis on beauty, grace, and discipline, was not exactly designed for childcare. Yet, as soon as Vil caught wind of your condition, he took it upon himself to ensure you were cared for to Pomefiore standards—which, of course, meant you would be the most well-dressed and well-behaved child in all of NRC.

“You may be a child for now, but that’s no excuse to run wild,” Vil said sternly as he adjusted the tiny, custom-made outfit he had designed for you—embroidered with subtle violets and perfectly tailored to your smaller frame. “A lapse in age is no excuse for a lapse in dignity.”

He was surprisingly good with you. Not overly doting, but attentive. Every meal was nutritious and artfully plated. Every nap was scheduled between soothing herbal tea and classical music in the background. Vil kept you engaged with picture books that had tasteful color palettes, and he always insisted on wiping your face after every snack with a soft handkerchief.

Sometimes, he’d sigh when you clung to him, resting your small head against his shoulder. But he never pushed you away. He’d simply hold you with a gentle firmness, murmuring, “You’re lucky you’re cute. Though I suppose that’s to be expected in Pomefiore.”

Epel, on the other hand, was… not as thrilled. He wasn’t bad with kids—he just wasn’t sure how to handle you. His country upbringing kicked in once he got past the shock, and he’d sometimes sneak you extra sweets or entertain you with silly faces and gestures Vil would scold him for.

“They're just a kid,” Epel muttered once as Vil reprimanded him for letting you run barefoot around the halls. “Shouldn’t they be allowed to have a little fun?” But even as he grumbled, Epel made sure you were never too far from his sight.

Rook treated the whole ordeal like some rare opportunity granted by fate. “Ah, our dear trickster has become even more precious in this petite form,” he’d say dramatically, crouching beside you to speak in soft tones. He was the most patient of the trio—amused by your curiosity, thrilled by your giggles, and more than happy to carry you around when you grew tired.

He’d hum old ballads to you, completely serious, as if serenading a noble in disguise.

There was a calm rhythm to your days in Pomefiore. The dorm members made sure you were safe, clean, and gently cared for. And even when Vil insisted on posture drills and hand-washing rituals, he still tucked you in at night with the quiet pride of someone who didn’t know how to express affection except through precision.

─────────────────────────

The moment Crowley settled your toddler self in Ignihyde, Idia, of course, panicked. Not because he didn’t care, but because this was way outside his comfort zone. "A kid? Here? In my dorm? What if they touch my figurines?! What if they drool on the keyboard?!"

Eventually, after some encouragement from Ortho, he awkwardly ventures out of his room to see you—standing in the middle of the Ignihyde hallway in an oversized hoodie, blinking up at him.

You wave. He freezes.

"...They're kinda cute."

Despite his anxiety, Idia takes good care of you in his own way. He sets up a comfy corner in his room filled with plushies, distracts you with a kid-friendly video game with Ortho, and even gives you a tablet to run drawing apps and cartoons. He talks to you like any game character would to a baby NPC, interacting with you as if you have preset responses and reactions.

Ortho, of course, becomes your babysitter #1. He reads you stories, checks your vitals, and even plays hide-and-seek at slow speeds so you can win. The rest of Ignihyde? Mostly confused. They're not used to visitors—especially tiny ones—but they adapt quickly, always offering you something to distract yourself with whenever you approach them, so they could go back to doing whatever they wanted to.

─────────────────────────

No one in Diasomnia was particularly shocked when you got turned into a baby; strange magical occurrences were practically the norm around this school. What did surprise everyone was how quickly the entire dorm fell into sync taking care of you.

Malleus was delighted. “Child of man, you’re even smaller than usual,” he’d say, beaming. He would speak to you in an oddly formal but gentle tone, lifting you effortlessly into his arms and carrying you through misty halls. His stories about Briar Valley fairy tales might be a bit long-winded for a child, but his soothing voice made you drowsy all the same.

Lilia took over your care like it was second nature. He hummed lullabies from ancient times, cooked suspicious meals that Malleus forbade you from eating, and jokingly encouraged you to ‘practice your dagger form’ using butter knives (which was quickly vetoed by Sebek).

Sebek, torn between duty and panic, kept trying to salute you like you were a visiting dignitary. “You, tiny human, must not—! I mean—you should not toddle into Malleus-sama's room with muddy shoes! Respect the Young Master’s halls!” He kept insisting on reading you Briar Valley etiquette books. You fell asleep halfway through page one.

Silver, dependable as ever, carried you around when you got tired. You fell asleep on his shoulder more than once, his calm aura a comforting presence. He read you animal tales with a soft smile, occasionally nodding off beside you.

Other Diasomnia members kept a respectful distance but left you with trinkets you could play around with.

Under their collective care, you felt like royalty—cradled in a dorm where ancient power met tender affection.

[shanastoryteller]

i know supernatural is the show of missed opportunities but man. the trials really get to me - what a perfect way to reboot and reset this show that you're artificially extending for ratings. it could have been really, really good, actually

so the trials of god is a way for someone to gain the ability to seal the gates of hell and the gates of heaven

they have the translation for hell, they know that slamming the gates of hell shut means calling all the demons back home and locking the key. it's logical, then, to for them to believe the same is true of the one for heaven - that it calls all the angels back home and locks them away where they can't do any more damage

peace, for the people of earth, outside of the influence of angels and demons. that's got to be worth it, right?

so while sam is completing the hell trials, they get the angel tablet, kevin gets translating, to figure out the angel trials. or maybe metatron helps nudge them along to figuring it out, since him being the big bad here isn't really relevant and they are in a bit of time crunch

canon doesn't tell us what the heaven trials are, except that the first one involves a ritual using the heart of a nephilim. they make it sound like they're carving it from their chest, but what i would do is

have a nephilim offer you their heart from their chest (gain their loyalty in a binding ceremony)

create grace from freshwater (there is no rain that falls anywhere on earth that is safe to drink and god said let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters)

find a human soul to guide you to heaven (babel fell but the stairway was built and those with wings have no need of stairs)

so sam is in the midst of the hell trials when dean sort of accidentally on purpose completes the first heaven trial and then the brothers are on parallel train tracks heading in the opposite direction

sam works to close the gates of hell

dean works to close the gates of heaven

demons and angels both working to stop them

sam completes the trials. he restores crowley's humanity and he dies and the gates of hell are closed

but that's not the end

metatron says they can close the gates if they're willing to pay the price. canon says the price is sam's death, but frankly that doesn't make any sense. what's the death of one human against the horrors of hell? and remember, metatron doesn't know the winchesters. maybe another angel would make this comment, knowing how the winchesters have weighed the safety of the world against their brother and left the world out to dry, would think this a price worth warning for. but metatron wouldn't bother, wouldn't even think of it, if that was the only price

the gates of hell close and malevolent spirits explode across the globe, evil spirits and angry ghosts causing death and destruction everywhere

hell serves a function and now the gates are closed and every evil human soul is forced to stay on earth, causing as much destruction as it can

that's the price for closing the gates of hell

except. except. aren't the hell trials interesting?

kill a hellhound. rescue an innocent soul and return it to heaven. purify a demon and restore their humanity.

the trials are not to prove if someone is worthy of closing the gates of hell. it's to prove they're capable of setting hell to rights

the trials are if things got too out of hand, if things were taken too far, and hell had to be put back in it's place. sam dies and ends up exactly where azazel wanted him - ruler of hell. all the demons and souls are trapped with him and what he has to do, while he has them all there, while they can't escape, is exactly what he did to get there

he kills the hellhounds, leaving only those meant to patrol hell. he releases every innocent soul bound there. he purifies the demons one by one, who he either releases as innocent souls or who to pledge to do their job as demons of hell - punishing evil, containing evil - in penance for what they did before (how do i even begin to make up for what i've done, crowley had asked, and this is the answer)

meanwhile, dean, heartbroken, completes the heaven trials and dies

and the gates of heaven slam shut and all the angels are stripped of their grace and expelled from heaven and dean finds himself in charge of an empty heaven

the trials are for when things have gone too far and heaven must be rebuilt, after all

good souls pile up, no one who dies able to truly leave earth, and given enough time they become twisted things that must be hunted along with the spirits of evil men and women who cause chaos from their last breath

dean has work to do. he has one angel - the nephilim whose loyalty he earned in the first trial - and this is what he has to do. he recruits more, to replace the ranks, he creates grace and hands it out judiciously. he sends them to guide the good souls home, using the stairway that the former angels wouldn't be able to use even if they wanted to, and each good act and deed earns them a little more grace. former angels throw themselves into the fight for humans, because they know it's the only way that dean will return their grace to them and lift them back into heaven

and in fighting for them, in living like them, they learn to love these creations of their father that they'd despised. they see what he saw and the thought of destroying this place in a civil war becomes unthinkable to them. they are once more the angels god intended them to be

in this, dean and sam fulfill their destiny as lucifer and michael's vessels. not in letting them in, but in pushing them out, in doing the work each was intended for but refused

only when there is only evil human souls being punished and caged, only once the demons are once more working to run hell and earn their release to heaven, does sam reopen the gates of hell

only when there's a full choir of angels once more, committed to their cause, only once there are souls working with reapers as it once always was, does dean reopen the gates of heaven

they're called the god trials for a reason. above and below, sam and dean act as god, putting things back in their intended places

they could stay. they should stay. keeping house, making sure it all goes smoothly, eternally keeping earth safe from angels and demons both

they're called the god trials for a reason. not even god could resist the paradise inbetween that he'd created

dean doesn't know if sam is going to return to earth. he might stay in hell, and if dean becomes human once more, then what's the point? he'll live and die a human, get stuck in heaven, and be forever separated from the brother he loves

sam doesn't know if dean is going to return to earth. he migh not be able to, might be stuck doing his work - sam assumes if the hell trials did this to him, then the heaven trials did the same to dean, and the idea that dean could have failed the heaven trials after he dies doesn't even cross mind. if he returns and dean's not there then he loses it all, he never again gets to see the brother he loves

but when, exactly, haven't they been willing to risk everything for each other?

dean falls as lucifer fell, throwing himself towards earth

sam rises as michael did after the fall, pulling himself towards earth the same way michael once pulled himself to the top of heaven

what's the use of being a god without his brother, after all?

dean and sam are reunited on earth, human once more

no more angels, no more demons, heaven and hell functioning once more as they should. we're back to basics, a clean slate, all of the rest remade and set aside by their own hands (it's literal and a metaphor, the way the show could have remade itself with the trials, after setting aside kripke's plan while at the same time recognizing that the design of it - two brothers who love each other going across america and fighting evil - is the thing that made it worth watching to begin with) and now it's them again, brothers forged in blood and sacrifice and love, and a new appreciation for the humanity they gave up and returned to

and then we get my beloved monster of the week with no stupid too high stakes, convoluted bullshit involved, beyond the occasional angel who dean refused to reinstate and demon tracking down miscreant souls and, every once in a while, a person or creature or something in between squinting at them and going - weren't you two gods?

nah, they say, all corn fed grins and the dimples their momma gave them, we're brothers

[himasgod]

Can I request the Twst first years with an S/O who wears glasses? And one day while they're out her glasses fall and break so she asks the guy to be her "seeing-eye boyfriend" until she can get her replacement pair?

FIRST YEARS X READER

Where your glasses break

How would first years react if your glasses broke and you asked them to be your "seeing-eye boyfriend"?

The fall was almost cinematic—one second you're both walking through the courtyard with milkshakes in hand, and the next, your glasses clatter to the stone path with a crisp snap that silences your breath.

Ace blinks down at the broken frames.

“...Well. That sucks.”

Very helpful commentary.

You groan, squinting at the blurry world around you. Everything’s turned into a watercolor painting, pretty, but useless. You reach for your bag, already fumbling for a cleaning cloth or something that might do the impossible and fix them.

Ace crouches down beside you, holding up the broken arm of your glasses like a forensic detective.

“Yeah, no saving these. They're totally toast,” he says and grins.

“Guess you’re stuck with me now.”

You blink. “Huh?”

“Your seeing-eye boyfriend. Come on,” he says, puffing his chest.

“I volunteer as tribute.”

“You? You’d lead me into Crowley's office just for fun.”

“Bold of you to assume I’d wait for an excuse,” he shoots back, clearly enjoying this way too much. Still, he steps in beside you, grabbing your hand with more confidence than usual.

“Don’t worry, babe. I’ll be your noble guide through the treacherous lands of blurry hallways and evil staircases.”

Honestly? It’s kind of adorable.

Except…

“Ace,” you hiss as you walk face-first into a hedge, “that was definitely a bush.”

“Oh, oops.” He stifles a laugh. “My bad. I was looking at a crow that looked kinda like Riddle.”

You smack his arm, and he catches your hand before you can escape.

“Okay, okay, for real this time. I swear I’ll guide you”

And he does. Sort of.

Ace’s version of “guiding” includes narrating everything in dramatic tones (“A wild vending machine appears!”), making traffic beeping noises at crosswalks, and waving off student with

“Move aside! VIP coming through.”

But in between the jokes, he’s surprisingly attentive. He warns you about uneven pavement. He helps you down stairs. He gently turns you in the right direction when you start to wander. And when someone asks why he’s being so clingy, he just says:

“Can’t help it. Gotta take care of my favorite person, right?”

When your new glasses finally arrive a few days later, Ace squints at you dramatically.

“Huh. You were even cuter when you were blurry. Guess I’ll just have to date you all over again in HD.”

The moment your glasses fall, Deuce gasps like he just witnessed a crime. You tripped over a rock and fell to the ground. He scrambles to pick them up before you can even get up.

“Are you okay?! Did you hit your head? Oh no—your glasses…”

One look at the snapped arm, and he looks genuinely distressed.

“I can’t believe I didn’t catch you! If only I’d moved faster—”

“Deuce, it’s okay,” you laugh softly, reaching out to pat his shoulder.

“They’re just glasses. I’ve got a backup pair somewhere, I just need to find them later.”

“But you can’t see without them, right?” He holds the broken pair like he’s holding a wounded bird.

“Then—I’ll help. I mean, I’ll… um. Be your… your seeing-eye… boyfriend?”

The way he says it makes you smile.

“…Yeah,” you reply, slipping your hand into his. “That’d help a lot, actually.”

Deuce turns red immediately. His grip on your hand tightens just a little.

Walking with Deuce as your guide is like navigating with an overenthusiastic, overprotective golden retriever. He’s very serious about the job. He announces every step, every turn, every uneven stone like he's defusing a bomb.

“There’s a crack in the pavement coming up. And uh—three steps down. Careful. Okay, good. We’re clear.”

Sometimes you have to stop and remind him not to overthink it.

“You don’t need to call out every single pebble,” you tease.

“I just don’t want you to trip!” he insists, puffing up. “What if you fall and break something? What if I let go and you bump into a wall? What if—”

You gently squeeze his hand. “Deuce. I trust you.”

That short-circuits him for a few seconds.

“…I won’t let you down,” he says, a little softer. “I’ve got you.”

And he does.

He slows his pace to match yours. Offers his arm like a perfect gentleman. Even tries to describe the world around you so you don’t miss out.

“There’s this really pretty bird in the tree ahead—it’s blue and has this weird feather that sticks up—kinda looks like it has a cowlick…”

When you finally get your backup pair of glasses a few days later and slide them on, Deuce stares at you with wide eyes.

“You’re amazing no matter what, but seeing your eyes properly again is…” He stops himself, going bright red.

“I-I mean—you look beautiful. Always. I’m just glad I could help.”

You smile, reaching for his hand again.

“You were the best seeing-eye boyfriend I could’ve asked for.”

He beams. “Anytime.”

The second your glasses hit the ground, Jack’s ears twitch. He doesn’t even hesitate—just crouches and scoops them up, holding the broken frames in his hand like they might somehow fix themselves if he stares hard enough.

“You okay?” he asks, already checking you over for injuries like a concerned older brother. “Did they cut you or anything?”

You shake your head, though your squint makes Jack frown.

“Can’t see much now, though,” you admit, trying to hold the glasses up to judge if they’re wearable.

They’re not. One arm’s completely snapped off and the lens is scratched.

Jack stands straight, folding his arms.

“Alright. Then I’ll walk you back to Ramshackle. Or wherever else you need to go.”

You tilt your head. “You sure?”

"Of course. I can’t just leave you wandering around blind. That’d be irresponsible.”

“Then… can you be my seeing-eye boyfriend for a few days?”

His tail stops wagging. You can almost hear the reboot noise in his brain.

“I—uh. That’s… yeah. I can do that.”

True to form, Jack is efficient, steady, and very aware of his job. He walks at your pace, always slightly in front or to the side so you have an anchor. He doesn’t talk too much—just enough to say things like “step here,” “slippery patch coming up,” or “handrail’s on your left.”

At one point, you trip slightly on a slope and instinctively reach for him—and Jack immediately grabs your hand, pulling you against his side.

“You good?”

“…Yeah,” you mumble, flushed from the sudden proximity.

Jack doesn’t let go. In fact, he holds your hand the rest of the way. Quietly. Warmly. His fingers are a little calloused, but they’re gentle.

When you get your replacement glasses, Jack glances at you with this subtle but very "Jack" kind of softness.

“Glad you got them back. But… if they break again, I wouldn’t mind helping you. Just so you know.”

He turns his head to the side quickly.

“…It’s not a big deal or anything.”

But his tail is wagging again.

The crack of your glasses hitting the ground is followed by Epel’s immediate gasp of, “Whoa—shoot! You okay?!”

He’s already dropped his bag to inspect the damage like a concerned old farmhand looking over a busted tractor.

“Ahh, the frame’s toast,” he mutters. “This sucks, sugar…”

You blink through the blur. “Everything’s fuzzy.”

“You want me to… walk you back or something?”

“Actually, you’re my seeing-eye boyfriend now,” you say, holding out your hand like you expect it.

He stares at you, face going pink so fast it looks like he was just slapped by the wind.

“Y-you can’t just say stuff like that without warning!!” he sputters, but then his hand grabs yours with no hesitation.

“I mean—fine! I can do that. No big deal.”

Epel is really trying to act cool about it, but his grip is just a little tight, and his ears are red for the first ten minutes of walking.

Unlike the others, he talks a lot. But it’s cute.

“Okay, sidewalk dips here. Careful. And—hold on, lemme go first and check if this puddle’s too deep. You ever step in one’a those and get water all in your boots? It’s the worst.”

He occasionally grumbles at people for walking too close to you.

“Watch it, pal. She can’t see, alright?”

At one point, you misstep and bump your shoulder into a wall, and Epel whips around like he’s about to punch the brick.

“I should’ve warned you! Dangit—sorry, sugarplum. Here, lean on me more, I’ll walk closer.”

He does, too. He even lets you rest your hand on his arm like some kind of prince.

When your new glasses arrive and you slide them on, Epel tilts his head.

“…Yeah. Still just as pretty.”

He pretends he didn’t say that.

You don’t let him pretend.

Your glasses hit the ground. The arm snaps. The lens pops out. You sigh.

Sebek screams.

“DISASTER! UTTERLY UNACCEPTABLE! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN—?!”

You cover his mouth.

“Sebek. Please. Breathe.”

When he finally calms down enough to form words that aren’t shouting, he immediately drops to one knee to inspect the glasses like they’re some ancient relic from Briar Valley.

“This is a serious matter,” he huffs, standing tall again.

“You cannot possibly navigate this campus with impaired vision. What if you trip? What if you run into an obstacle? What if—heaven forbid—you encounter a DISGRACEFUL STUDENF who knocks into you?!”

You blink at him. “So… wanna be my seeing-eye boyfriend?”

He short-circuits for a full five seconds. You could hear the error tone.

“SEEING—BOY—WHAT? I—!” His face is rapidly changing colors, caught between panic, pride...

“W-well! If you insist! Of course it would be my DUTY to assist you!”

And assist he does.

Sebek walks exactly half a step in front of you at all times, loudly narrating your surroundings like a royal town crier.

“WE ARE APPROACHING A SET OF STAIRS. I REPEAT—A STAIRCASE. DESCENT REQUIRED.”

You try not to laugh. “Sebek, I’m right here.”

“I AM MERELY ENSURING MAXIMUM AWARENESS!”

Honestly? For all his dramatics, he’s weirdly good at this.

He even swats someone’s backpack out of your way at one point and scolds them for “failing to consider the visually disadvantaged.”

You almost feel bad when your new glasses arrive and you don them again.

Sebek blinks. “…Ah. You can see again.”

“Yep! Thanks for helping me so much.”

He nods stiffly, trying to hide how flustered he is.

“It was nothing. Merely what any exceptional man would do in such a situation!”

You step closer and kiss his cheek.

He explodes.