#Who calls my dad's ex-wife her ex-wife-in-law

[pandora-writes-one-piece]

The Meet Cute - Law's Story - 2

Source for pic

The Great Pretender 2

Word Count: 4816

Tags For The Whole Story: Fem!Reader; Law is a soft dom; you have bratty tendencies (not all the time); voice kink; praise kink; cursing; very suggestive behaviour and innuendo from the start; sexual tension; teasing; so much flirting; romance; slow-burn; fluff; slight angst; mature audiences (though explicit NSFW moments will be properly tagged on the chapter); possessive Law; protective Law; soft Law; teasing Law; manipulative Doflamingo; inappropriate Doflamingo; fake relationship trope; only one-bed trope; reader has some anxiety issues; reader is a control freak and perfectionist; modern day AU

Special Warning: English is not my first language, I apologise for any possible spelling or grammar mistakes.

Summary: After moving away from the hustle and bustle of Grand Line City to help your father around the property following a horse-riding accident - and in the hopes of healing your broken heart after your asshole ex-fiancé cheated - you settle into the country calmness of the Calm Belt. You and Law (your father's doctor) start to build a flirty friendship because of your father’s procedure. So much so that when he’s invited to Baby 5’s wedding (his cousin), he asks you to be his date. His uncle Doflamingo - who is filthy rich - is very adamant on finding a suitable wife for him. Seeing as he wants to avoid that, he asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend for the weekend.

Notes: Here's chapter 2! We're still setting up the stage to more exciting events coming up! It's time for Shanks' surgery now.

Tag List: @rosidaze @beachaddict48 @armiliadawn @jintaka-hane @sprinkklz @baby5555

Masterlist

|Chapter 1| | |Chapter 3|

“What do you know about Dr. Law?” Sipping your coffee you stare at Nami, trying to hide the curiosity gnawing at your brain. You haven’t been able to stop thinking about the handsome dark-haired doctor since the appointment two days ago. When you slipped him your number, you unconsciously hoped he would send you a text or give you a call, but then again, why would he? You gave him your number for professional reasons and, despite all the fun teasing when you were with him, you know he’s very professional at his job. 

Also, you knew Kaya would be able to answer any and all lingering questions you might have about him, but Kaya was too invested in trying to set you up and, as attracted as you felt to him, you didn’t really want to act on it.

It was just curiosity.

Right?

“Dr. Law? From the clinic?” Nami placed a finger on her chin as her eyes wandered to the ceiling. “Well, he’s a very good doctor but he’s not very sociable. I think Luffy knows him and they get along well. But he doesn’t party very much. He drinks a lot of coffee - I think Sanji can vouch for that - but he doesn’t hang around coffee shops. He keeps to himself, mostly.” She sighed. “Maybe you should ask Kaya? She sees him on a daily basis! Oh, Robin might answer some questions for you too, they worked together on some paper for a science magazine a while ago.”

Damn it. Not one drop of interesting information. Only that he wasn’t a social butterfly. Shrugging, you nodded and were about to change the subject when Nami’s brow rose. “Why?”

You tried to hide your blush behind the coffee mug. “Oh, no big deal! He’s my dad’s doctor and he’s going to be the one performing his back surgery, should he agree to it. I just wondered how good of a doctor he really was. He seemed professional but you never know!” She was still watching you closely. You were rambling, so you shut up with another sip of coffee. 

“Riiiight.” Her smirk grew. “I’ll pretend to believe you. But I want all the information when things progress between you two!”

-*-

Another two days go by without any exciting news and, somehow, you manage to push Law to the back of your mind, what with the constant scolding of your father’s terrible seating habits, all the helping around the property, and a part-time job Nami had recommended to you at her firm. It was basically sorting files and organising old data and, despite Nami’s assurance that it was mind-numbing, boring work, you secretly loved it.

Because, as Law perfectly diagnosed, you are a bit of a control freak. 

Now that you are back to thinking about him, you remember him telling you that he had a few tips for you to let go and relax. Was he talking about everyday tips or… intimacy tips? Because his tone of voice had suggested something else. 

You are wound up so tight that the thought of relaxing in someone’s care is-... exhilarating. 

Fortunately the buzz of your phone wakes you from your reverie and, patting the cow in front of you on the hind, you walk away from the barn while picking up the call.

“Hello?”

The deep voice calling your name on the other side brings shivers down your spine. It’s Law. “Is this a good time to speak?”

“Yes!” You shake your head and inhale deeply. “Sorry, I was doing some chores for my dad. It’s fine, I’m fine. I mean… yes, you can speak.” Fuck. Once again you wonder what is it about his voice that makes you weak in the knees and dumb in the head?

The vibrato of his chuckle doesn’t have the same effect on you over the phone, but it’s still very endearing. “I’m calling because I’ve managed to check your notebook and I would like to arrange a house call so we can surprise your father.”

Ah, the ambush! You are ready for that. Shanks isn’t.

“I think he will be working around the property all day this week. I won’t be available in the mornings, though. If you can manage a visit in the afternoon, it would work best.”

He hums on the other side and you sit down on a hay bale. Can there be a way to avoid being affected by a tone of voice? Would online research help? “I can make it tomorrow, if that works?”

“Yes! I’m open for you.” You almost bite your tongue as your hand slaps your head. “My schedule is open for you! My schedule!” You bet that if you could see his face, the man would be smirking.

There’s definitely amusement in the tone of his voice. “Tomorrow it is, then.” 

You say your goodbyes and put the phone away as you groan in frustration. How dumb can you be, really?

-*-

When you get home from your part-time job, your organisational needs fulfilled for the day, your father tells you that Ace had come by to help and all the chores were taken care of, so he’s heading out to Beckman’s for beers and to watch the football game.

“No! No, no!” You quickly grab your phone and text the number from which Law called, hoping it’s his personal, or at least professional phone and that he’s carrying it with him now. You quickly say your dad is about to leave and he needs to come ASAP.

Then you turn to Shanks with a pained smile. “Dad, the car is giving me trouble again and I need your help. Teach me how to get it to work effortlessly every time!”

Shanks sighs and looks at his watch. “Fineee. The game doesn’t start for another four hours anyway.”

Placing your hands on your hips, you scrunch your nose. “Four hours? Then why the hell are you going there so early?”

Shanks guffaws. “Pre-game drinks, bug! Why else?” Rolling your eyes to the back of your head, you make your way outside to your car. You keep pestering Shanks about different things, trying to buy your time and, slowly, pissing him off inadvertently, until you spot a fancy car coming up the driveway. 

“Oh, thank God.” You mutter, having exhausted all your car-related questions in your arsenal. 

“Thank God, what? Who’s that?” Shanks closes the door of your car and tilts his head sideways. Once he sees the driver, he groans. “An ambush?” His glare could almost burn holes into you.

“Sorry, Shanks. It’s the only way you’ll speak with Dr. Law! You will undergo that surgery. It’s for your own good!”

Your dad still tries to escape, but as soon as he witnesses the scowl on Law’s face, he stops trying to struggle and resigns himself to the situation. Law is dressed casually without his doctor’s coat on: black t-shirt and again with those cute, spotted jeans. He’s so tall and lean, with defined muscles, but nothing too big. And the tattoos… paired with the earrings and the rebel goatee, they almost make you want to squeal. This man is too damn hot to be walking around.

He says your name as he leaves the car with a sly smile and then turns to your dad. “Mr. S. Hi. So sorry for the ambush, but you wouldn’t come to me, so I had to come to you. I’m told we’re going through with the surgery and I’m here to explain everything.”

Shanks groans and you chuckle. “Let’s go inside, I’ll make coffee.” 

Law’s ears perk at that, as you knew they would, and now you’re feeling the pressure of making a good cup of coffee. Fortunately, you’ve just stocked up on some amazing roasted coffee beans that Sanji recommended, and they truly make a delicious brew. 

-*-

Two and a half hours are all it takes for Law to go over the questions in your notebook. He compliments your organisational skills with a slight smirk, and a teasing remark about you trying to control everything, but you try to ignore his tone and he continues. 

He also answers all of your father’s sillier questions, even the one where he asks if he would lose function of any necessary limbs - you know what he’s referring to and you just shake your head at him - but Law handles it very professionally.

By the end, Shanks seems to be a bit more at ease with the whole process - and frankly, so are you - so he agrees when Law says he’ll schedule all necessary pre-surgery exams and the surgery itself.

Shanks leaves in a hurry to go and meet Beckman because the game should be starting in under two hours and he’s not nearly tipsy enough to watch his team lose. Thanking Law, he leaves you two alone telling you not to wait up for him.

Sighing, you get up from your chair to collect the empty coffee mugs. “That went well!” You can’t hide a soft smile from gracing your lips. Law gets up too as he helps you by grabbing his mug and a plate with cookies you had set out, and follows you to the kitchen.

“It really did. I’ll let you both know when the exams and the surgery are scheduled. His jitters will come back, but, if we’re lucky, only on surgery day. He’s going to be fine.”

You finish placing the dirty mugs in the sink and turn to him, leaning on the counter slightly and nodding your head with a weary smile. “Yes, yes, I know. He’s in good hands.”

Law approaches and, reaching behind you, places his dirty mug in the sink, his body a breath away from yours. You can almost feel his own breath in your ear, just for a moment, before he pulls back and steps away from you.

You release the breath you barely realised had been trapped as he keeps eye contact with you. “Thank you for the coffee you made for me. It was delicious.”

“I…” The praise! The damned praise! It turns your legs into jelly and leaves your tongue tied. You have to clear your throat before you manage to utter a full sentence. “Thank you. Sanji said it was a very good quality bean and I followed his instructions.”

His smirk disarms you as much as his praise and he partners it with a slight chuckle and by crossing his arms over his chest. “And do you always follow instructions that well?”

Oh… cheeky.

“Not always. It depends on the instructions. I tend to be a bit of a brat, sometimes.” You respond in kind to his teasing and, as you notice the glint in his eyes and the slight bob of his throat, you don’t regret it one bit. 

“Interesting.”

The look you give each other feels charged with tension, electrical, almost. Again, this was supposed to be a professional visit. Why do the two of you keep playing this dangerous game of teasing each other?

Are you willing to push the game further?

You wouldn’t mind trying a few naughty things with the doctor, but then again, you came to the Calm Belt to get your mind off romantic affairs and help mend your broken heart. 

But then again… this wouldn’t be romantic… just a bit of fun. And don’t they say that rebound sex is good for broken hearts?

Your wandering thoughts are cut short by an insistent beep from Law’s pager. He grunts and grabs it, glancing at it before sighing. “It’s the hospital. I have to go. We’ll keep in touch, okay?”

Yeah you wouldn’t mind that… keeping in touch…

“Yes! We’ll wait for the exam confirmations. Thank you for all your help.” You say while accompanying him to the door. 

As he descends the steps of the porch, he glances back to give you one last smirk, the tension of your previous moment still hovering above you both. “You did very well with that notebook. It was very thorough and neatly organised.” 

Your breath hitches and you feel your cheeks flush with colour. Law opens the door to his car and gazes at you, burning you with his stare. “I can’t wait to witness how you act when you stop trying to control everything and just… surrender.”

His voice is low, teasing and commanding. Laced with a promise of something more, something else, a not so subtle invitation to a very enticing what if. As his car rides up the driveway, you’re left standing in the doorway, your pulse quickening, even though he’s long gone. 

-*-

The day of the surgery finally arrives and you’re sure that your father didn’t sleep a wink. And neither have you. You shower and get dressed and when you get downstairs, he’s sitting by the kitchen chair looking very pale and worried.

“Morning, dad.” Shanks can’t eat or drink anything pre-surgery so you fill your coffee cup and stuff an apple in your purse for later. “How are you feeling? Get any sleep?”

Shanks groans. “I’m terrible, bug. I didn’t sleep a wink.”

You smile as you reach and hug his shoulders from behind. “It’s okay, daddy. You’ll sleep under anaesthesia.” He doesn’t laugh as you hoped he would, so you try to reassure him. “Dr. Law is very good at his job, dad. You’ll be in and out in an instant. Everything will be alright! Plus, I’ll be there waiting for you, okay?”

You asked for days off work to help a family member and arranged with Ace to feed the animals on the property, so you’re covered. All you have to do is worry nonstop in a hospital waiting room while your father is being operated on. 

Nothing too serious. 

Everything passes in a blur after you both leave the house. Shanks is feeling more and more anxious and you aren’t faring much better either. By the time you reach the hospital - in the next town over, where Law performs surgeries on his days off from the clinic - you are both very pale and nauseous. 

You check him in and, as he’s being taken to a room to get prepped for surgery, Law appears and asks you to come in so he can speak with both of you. He reviews the process step by step as you nod along - having studied the procedure from front to back, as the little control freak you are - assures you both that he will be there the entire time, reassuring you that it’s a routine procedure and everything will be alright. 

Shanks feels better once the nurses start to apply drugs to the IV, but you’re still wound as tight as a rope, so Law gently grasps your arm, leading you to the room where you will be waiting for the surgery to be over. He seats you in a chair and fills a cup of water from the dispenser.

“Drink.” He uses the commanding tone you’re slowly getting used to, and you do as you’re told. “You have nothing to worry about. I’ll take care of your father. He’s a strong man and this is routine. He’s got this.” Your eyes fix somewhere in front of you, staring into a void as your heart thumps against your eardrums in a deafening rhythm. Law’s firm hand captures your chin as he tilts your head up to meet his amber gaze. “I’ve got this. I won’t let anything happen to him. Do you trust me?”

It seems like such a charged question. As if he’s asking this and meaning so much more than the hours he’ll spend operating on your dad. Yet, you have no doubt about the answer.

“I do.” You whisper softly. 

Nodding, he turns to leave. “It will pass in an instant, okay? Try not to worry.” He leaves you alone, feeling the weight of fear crushing you and pressing down on your back. You feel helpless, impotent about what you can do to help, to make sure the outcome is a happy one.

But everything feels too out of control. 

Half an hour passes. The clock ticks relentlessly, and you still haven't moved. You brought a book and your cell phone is fully charged, yet you haven’t even taken your purse off your shoulder, your fingers still clutch the plastic cup that Law filled with water for you.

Your throat is dry yet you can’t find the strength to get more water. Your breath comes in shallow, uneven gasps, and your legs are restless.

Another ten minutes pass before you feel a light tap on your shoulder, pulling you back from the stress of the unknown, the unplanned, and the endless possibilities of what can go wrong.

“Kaya?” You whisper, your voice hoarse and ragged with fear.

Your friend smiles at you as she sits down by your side. “Dr. Law called me. He said to leave the clinic to the two morons - Penguin and Shachi are some of his closest friends, did you know that? - and said that I should come to you, immediately! Leaving no chance to argue back. He said he would pay me extra, but I told him to shove the berries in his back pocket because I’d gladly help you without any coercion.”

You blink slowly, your mind still too deep in the fog of uncertainty to really focus on Kaya’s words. Besides, she just dumped a lot of information on you, though one thought lingers front and centre: Law told her to come to you.

“Wait, Law told you to come here?”

She squeals excitedly while nodding with vigour. “He did! He said you looked scared and on the verge of a panic attack and he didn’t want you to be alone in the waiting room for two to three hours. How romantic is that?”

You take a deep breath and, finally, lean back in your chair, removing the strap from your purse and drinking the rest of the water. You already feel more at ease. Kaya’s presence is already reassuring you and easing your fears. “Not as romantic as you make it seem, since I’m about to shit my pants with fear.”

Kaya chuckles and takes the empty cup from your hand, throwing it in the trash and sitting back down. She takes your hand in hers in a reassuring way. “Honey, there’s no need to fret. Dr. Law is the best. You really don’t have to worry. You have no idea how many awards he has! And he’s still so young! He’s not even thirty yet, the man is a medical genius or something!”

She chuckles again and you stare in awe. You had no idea. Kaya sees your reaction and continues. 

“He even skipped a few grades in school. He took advanced classes and entered university two years early! He managed to finish his degree in half the time. He’s really smart and diligent.”

“Wow…” You say dumbly. “I didn’t know that. He did seem very professional and young, but I had no idea he was so good.”

“Honey, he’s much better than just good! I guarantee you that!” She giggles one more time, certainly already adding another chapter to her imaginary novel of your romance. “Did you know he comes from money?”

Raising a brow you turn fully to her, waiting for her to continue.

“He’s related to the Donquixotes. They’re filthy rich.”

Oh, you know damn well who the Donquixotes are. They’re close friends of the Vinsmokes, your ex’s family. You know they have loads of money, influence, power, status… you name it. You never made official acquaintance with them, but you glimpsed the head of the family, Donquixote Doflamingo, at some important parties, and the whole demeanour of the man demands respect. 

You had no idea Law was related to them. 

“I had no idea, Kaya. I know who they are. My ex’s family was very influential and they often frequented the same social circles.”

She’s just about to retort with some more gossip - you assume - when the staff door opens and a slightly frazzled nurse comes to speak with you. Immediately standing, you hope to hear her say that the surgery’s over, but her countenance tells you otherwise, and her words confirm it.

“There was a slight complication with your father’s procedure. There’s some unexpected swelling and inflammation in the tissue surrounding the herniated disc. Dr. Law wanted me to reassure you that all is well, and the only thing this means is that the surgery will be prolonged since he needs to proceed slower and with more caution.” The nurse gives you a strained smile. “He was very adamant that I make sure you understood that he would never let anything happen to your father and to confirm you were already accompanied by Nurse Kaya.”

You nod as you slump back down in the chair, all words stripped away from you, leaving Kaya to answer instead.

“Thank you nurse. Please assure Dr. Law that I’m with her and she’s very grateful for his help.”

The nurse nods and goes back inside while you review the surgery procedure again in your head. You remember reading something in the complications section about tissue swelling. Going back and forth on your mental notes, you don’t think it's something to worry about, but that means that Shanks is going to be under anaesthesia for at least one or two hours more than originally planned and-...

“What? Sorry!” You answer, as Kaya had been repeating your name for a while, trying to ground you back in reality. 

“I said he’s going to be fine! It’s a very normal thing to happen in these procedures. Dr. Law is perfectly equipped to handle it! Remember? He’s a genius!”

You nod vigorously. You know he’s going to be fine. You just know. 

He has to.

-*-

Five hours and thirty-three minutes.

That is the total amount of time that your father stayed in the operating room. But now that a nurse has come by to tell you the surgery is over and they are moving him to the recovery room, you can finally breathe. 

Kaya has stayed by your side the whole time. You received a bunch of phone calls from your friends and neighbours and time passed. Sometimes slowly, other times in a blink. But now everything is fine.

And the man you have to thank for that, has just opened the door to speak with you. His eyes seem weary and tired, the bags under them a bit more pronounced, but he has a reassuring smile on his lips as he approaches you.

He says your name and you get up to meet him halfway. “The surgery is over, Mr. S. is fine and will recover from the anaesthesia in one or two hours. After that he’ll be transferred to a room where I specifically said that you were allowed in, at any time of the day during how long you wish to remain.”

Your eyes feel wet and prickly as the lump in your throat tightens and makes it hard to breathe. Kaya squeezes your hand and Law continues.

“Despite the unexpected complication, everything went according to plan. The hernia was removed and, after appropriate recovery time and some physical therapy, your father will recover perfectly well.”

You are so grateful that you have to fight the urge to wrap your arms around his neck. “Thank you, Law.” The sound that comes from your lips is a mere whisper. 

“I told you to trust me, didn’t I?” His smile deepens and you hear a muffled squeal coming from Kaya, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Law. “Nurse Kaya, thank you for being here.”

She nods and grins at him. “I would never leave our girl alone and afraid, Dr. Law!”

Our girl? You raise an eyebrow at her expecting Law to make some stern remark, but he just chuckles and nods. “Right.” He says. “Thank you. I will check on Mr. S. in a couple of hours.” Then he stares straight into your eyes, his amber gaze full of care and assuredness. “If you need anything at all, you have my number.”

-*-

Kaya wants to stay with you until you are allowed to see your dad, but you tell her to go home. Usopp, her fiancé, has already called her because she’s usually off work by now, and you don’t want to impose.

Besides, there’s nothing else to be scared of. The surgery is over and Shanks is fine. 

She finally relents and leaves you alone and you barely have to wait another hour before the nurse summons you and takes you to your father’s room. He’s lying in bed with a very tired look on his face.

“Dad!” You exclaim as soon as you enter.

“Bug, I thought you were home.” His voice seems very hoarse and you can see he’s making an effort, so you sit down in the chair next to the bed and take his hand, squeezing it tightly. 

“Don’t speak, dad. Just rest. I’m so happy you’re okay. Law said I was allowed to stay in your room for as long as I wish. I’ll stay here with you!” You eye the couch set in the corner of the room. It seems perfectly comfortable for you to sleep on. You just don’t want to leave him.

You forced him to undergo surgery, so you feel responsible for his well-being and want to be there to cater to his every need. 

He nods and closes his eyes. “Are you in pain? Just nod or shake your head, don’t try to speak.” He shakes his head and you sigh. “Okay daddy.” You lean in and place a lingering kiss on his temple. “I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”

“How are we feeling?” Law asks from near your chair and you jump. You didn’t even hear him enter the room. 

Shanks opens his eyes but doesn’t speak, instead, he raises his thumb to give Law a thumbs up, making the doctor chuckle lightly. 

“Alright, Mr. S., I’m going to do a quick check-up before leaving you to rest for the night, okay?” Shanks nods and you get up to give Law some space. After he finishes the exam, checking the drugs in the IV bag and his charts, Shanks is already snoring, so he beckons you to follow him outside the room.

“How is he?” Anxiety laces your question as you wring your fingers together. “From what I’ve read, there can be about a 10% chance of post-surgery infection, so we need to watch out for any redness or swelling, and maybe some fever. Though since he’s under a lot of drugs, we might not spot a fever right away. And, oh! There’s also a supposed 3% chance of blood clots occurring -...”

“Relax.” His hands rest against your shoulders, pressing firmly while his thumbs draw soft circles against your shirt. “I told you I’ve got this. Your father’s in good hands. You said you trusted me.”

You open your mouth to speak, clearly still meaning to add more information about post-surgical statistics you’ve been reading about since Kaya left, but one of his hands climbs up your shoulder and rests on your cheek in an affectionate gesture, much more intimate than you were expecting. 

“Relax. There’s no need to be in control now. I’m in control here. Okay? Just let go.”

All the breath leaves your lungs at once. The firmness of his touch and the assuredness of his voice make you nod and comply, your shoulders slumping forward, immediately relaxing your posture.

What the hell?

You have suffered quite a bit in the past with anxiety and stressful situations, often finding yourself spiralling because you couldn’t control a specific situation. You had never managed to calm down so easily, so effortlessly. Ichiji only made it worse, so you never really had an anchor to ground you. But Law… he did it in the blink of an eye. With a touch and a few words.

This is a first.

Surprise is still etched on your face when he steps back, leaving only a cold void within you. “His vitals are all stable and he’s not in pain. The night nurse will keep monitoring his condition. You’re welcome to stay by his side or go home and rest. He’s in good hands.” 

You nod, still too stunned to speak and exhaustion is beginning to take its toll on your body and mind. “I’ll… I’ll stay. My brain is too numb to drive home now.”

He nods in understanding. “I’ll be here around lunchtime to check on him again. Try to rest. Everything’s alright now.”

Once again, his words stir something within you, a feeling of safety, and you nod in agreement. 

It will all be fine now.

|Chapter 3|

[king--of--ducks]

I am Lucifer Morningstar, King of Hell, sin of Pride!

🍎I am Lucifer Morningstar, but you can call me Luci’ or even Apple Daddy if you wish~🍎

🍎I have a daughter named Charlotte, but everyone calls her Charlie. And if anyone hurts her, well, I’ll fucking wipe them out. This is my game, I’m the ref!🍎

🍎Charlie has informed me that I, apparently, have fans on the internet? And I figured if there are people who love me out there, might as well talk to them! Take that depression!🍎

🍎No spamming walls of text/emojis in my ask!🍎

OOC:I have no association with Vivziepop or her characters, this is just an obsessed fan being bored and goofing off. Things will most likely be out of character at times, I’m just kinda having fun with this.

I also decided to edit my pinned post to add this bit. This blog has been covering sensitive topics lately such as sh, ed, sui, and more. If you are not comfortable with this, I try to tag the posts to the best of my feeble minded capabilities, but that is content you can find here, so be warned.

I have a Discord server

Oh wow, it’s lore!

Personal lore

The Morning(star)

The Scars of an Angel

A Brush with Death

A fateful farewell

The loss of a brother

Extra lore

A Heartfelt Message

The Blue-Gem series

The Blue-Gem series(2)

The Blue-Gem series(3)

The Blue-Gem series(4)

The Blue-Gem series(5)

Mod—

@sockmanduckman

Circle of role players—

Same mod—

@moxxies-wife—Blitzø’s employee #1

@mammon-money-maker—Nuisance

@wally-wackfords-wacky-blog—Blitzø’s old chum

@ace-loves-josh

@the-666-news

@wiener-warrior—Adam

@gossip-sipper

@yogirt-not-yogurt

Family—

@charlie-morningstar666–My beautiful little girl!

@the-moth-ex-angel—Soon to be daughter in law!

@alyxdefoisnthere—Bad sleep schedule daughter.

@damian-morningstar—Son

@headlessdeaddancer—My (step-)son!

@mcalastor—fiancé Freaky ass bitch.

@god-the-lord—My father has Tumblr?!?!

@bigdoginthesky—Another dad

@theholymessenger—Gabriel

@theholyhealer—Raphael

@michael-the-morningstar—Michael

@heavenly--knight—Another Michael?!?!

@ask-the-archs—2 for 1

@featheryhoe—King of Lust

Other—

@blitztheoissilent—Blitzø (formerly @blitz-horsie-enthusiast and @blitz-the-o-is-silent)

@logical-imp—Blitzø’s employee #2

@ducky-loyal-servant-of-lucifer—Cure for depression

@xxsmilingdeerxx—Freak

@radio-demon-on-the-air—Freak *2

@fizzythefrog—Blitzø’s bestie

@blue-gem-overlord—Ripoff Lapis

@heavens-gatekeeper—Petah!!!!

@king-mammon—Another Mammon

@sad-bird-stolas—My bestie

@the-original-dickmaster—My best friend

@the-exterminator—Adam’s petty ex

@lute-head-exterminator—Adam’s petty ex*2

@bad-boy-lover—Niffty

@nifftyhasaknife—Niffty*2

@penguinmaster9999—T and pals

@deadbeatbartender—Husker

[themultifandomgal]

Tommy Shelby

Feeling Guilty- YN is Tommys best friend, she’s been there for him through everything, but is now having enough of his behaviour. Tommy finally admits his feelings for YN when he thinks he’s going to lose her.

Step Son- Tommys son calls YN mummy.

Rest Up- YN finds out she’s pregnant and Tommy takes care of her.

24 Hour Bug- YN and Tommys daughter catches a bug. YN takes care of her but catches it herself so Tommy takes care of them both.

Daddy’s Girl Pt1 Pt2- YN and Tommy already have 2 children and Tommy knows that his wife is pregnant with their 3rd.

Family Christmas- Modern day Tommy spending Christmas with his son and wife.

Silent Treatment- YN feels like Tommy is neglecting her emotionally and physically, so she gives him the silent treatment.

A Mothers Passing- YN’s mother is ill and Tommy is there to support her.

Didn’t Have To Learn To Love Pt1 Pt2- After the war, Tommy and YN found comfort in one another which resulted in YN getting pregnant. They married and now YN wants a midwife to help her during the birth which Polly isn’t thrilled over.

Old Love Pt1 Pt2 Pt3 Pt4 Pt5-YN was sick of Tommys behaviour so divorced him and took his child with her, but YN has recently come back to Small Heath shocking Tommy.

Lost- YN and Tommy struggle to conceive, when they have a miscarriage it effects YN’s mental health.

Hurt- YN ends up on Tommys doorstep after finding out Arthur has been cheating on her.

Granddaughter Pt1 Pt2 Pt3- Tommy finds out his 16 year old daughter was pregnant.

Clingy Daughter- Tommy is a single dad to his daughter, who just so happens to be VERY clingy.

Overdue- Tommy helps his very pregnant wife try to induce labour.

His Ballet Girl- Tommy and YN have an affair and Lizzie finds out.

Fear- Both Tommy and his daughter have to over come their fears.

Friends To Lovers- Tommy and YN finally admit their feelings for one another.

Spoilt- Tommy teaches his spoilt daughter a lesson.

Comfort- Tommy comforts his sister in law.

Out Of The Blue Pt1 Pt2 Pt3- YN and John have been best friends since they were kids. The Shelbys see her as part of the family, but YN and Tommy don’t get on. So what happens when YN gets hurt?

My Daughter- Tommy finds out he has a daughter.

Expecting- Tommy doesn’t believe that the baby YN is carrying is his, but soon he comes crawling back to YN.

Leave The Blinders- Tommy is YN’s dad and all she wants is for him to be safe, so she asks him to leave the Peaky Blinders behind.

Ex’s- Although YN and Tommy have divorced, they remain friends for the sake of their child and Tommy will still do anything to keep YN safe.

I’m Not Doing That Again- YN makes threats to make sure Tommy doesn’t get her pregnant again.

Just Want To Protect You

Been Lied To

1 Becomes 2

The Truth Always Comes Out

No More Secrets

[citizensun]

Queerness and the House of Usher (spoilers!)

See I just added these Thoughts to the tags in @quecksilvereyes 's post but now I have Feelings too

TFotHoU (or HoU, as I will refer to it here), as expected from a Mike Flannagan show, has a bunch of Queer Rep™ to talk about. HoU is, also, about remarkably evil people - amoral capitalists who'll step over anyone if it means they'll get something from it. And look! Some of them are queer! Kinky too!

That's bad queer representation... right?

The show isn't that clear when stablishing sexualities, but we see that at least three of the Usher kids - Napoleon, Camille and Victorine - have same sex SOs/assistants with curious job descriptions. Prospero's taste for orgies probably implies queerness too, but honestly I don't remember if he gets it going with any guys in the story. I honestly have no idea about Tamerlane's voyerism thingie and Frederick is the only one with a "traditional family" going on.

Unrelated, but: Leo is definitely cheating on his bf Julius. Completely dismissing about his worries for him too. And for his cat. That's objectively evil, clearly. Vic literally killed her fiancée Alessandra, though she didn't stuff her under the floorboard, which is an L when compared to Poe's original. Cam doesn't believe in true love. Perry blackmailed his sister in law. Mean. He's also got a surprisingly high kill count for the family's disappointment, but since unlike Roderick he only killed rich people, we stan. I don't belong in Kinky spaces so I haven't got a big take on Tammie, only that - well, she's completely dismissing of her husband and sees him as a prop, just like the sex worker she hires.

Huh.

See, the nature of a story called "the fall of X family" is that X family is going to be the main character. The title kinda implies that they're falling for a reason, ergo, they're despicable fucking people. And they're queer! They're very queer. Many flavors of gay. They're the main characters, and they're monsters, and they're gay.

No, that's not bad rep.

Queerness as a movement, a community and a theory is very focused on scaping a cisheteronormative society's binaries (ie man/woman, husband/wife, public/private) and creating living conditions to those who fall outside of these categories - mlms and wlws, the trans, the nbs, the aros and aces... we are all queer, strange and estranged from this weird and limited worldview. And so we create a community for ourselves. It's very focused on care and anti-stablishment. Since a cisheteronormative society tends to be very white, rich and western, it's also focuses on anti-racism, anti-capitalism, anti-imperialism. Y'all know that, this is Tumblr and we love leftist Discourse.

I also know many, many gay people irl who are not like that at all. Libertarians, anarcho-capitalists, terfs, completely apolitical people and the like. Sexuality at it's core is personal, not political, so there are gay people out there who are perfectly comfortable with their sexuality on an individual level but do not see the point of getting involved in the broader context. They're queer, but are they...?

Well—

Not to mention there's lots of asshole gays out there! Don't you have a shitty ex? Have you never been almost run over by a drunken butch who blew cigar smoke into your face? I have! Life experiences are just like that. Maybe you should touch more grass. You'll probably find a lucky gift from your neighbour's dog, who is an astrology-obsessed bisexual and also really hot but stopped making out with you at a party once she found out you're a pisces (the neighbour, not the dog).

(Granted, none of this is as bad as implanting an experimental heart contraption into the fiancée you just killed because she dared to have ethical principles and then being so consumed with grief you stab yourself in front you'd your dad but you know how it goes. We're not the 1%.)

My point is, queer people are people. We are complex. We fuck up, and sometimes there's still times to fix things and sometimes... there isn't. We're consumed by jealousy and regret and sometimes we're so locked into our own head we stop believing the rest of the world is real too. Just like any other people, because unfortunately, queerness isn't a sign of morality.

And even if queerness does mean community, kindness and acceptance, tell me... Where the hell would the Usher kids get those from? The people around them are not really peers – they're ass-istants, blowjob-giving apartments, orgy mates, heart surgery providers, hired fitness moneybags, perfect housewives. Even if the partners are all shown to care for the Ushers, there's still a distance, a power gap, that makes the relationships fundamentally wrong.

And the partners? Arguably they're the good queer rep in the show, but look – even when Julius and Alessandra are shown to be good people (or at least people with an ethical boundary), they're not the good gays, they're simply the good SO's to a family of psychos. Exactly like Bill and Morrie, who afawk are straight people.

Which leads us to HoU's parameter of morality - Auguste Dupin. He refuses to drink the Amontillado, symbol of all the Usher opulence over the years. He got screwed over by the Usher twins and by the Raven herself, but he refused to cave in (except for the informant part, admittedly). He's not a good gay guy; he is gay and he is a good man.

The fundamental difference between our show's main tragic yaoi couple isn't that Auggie is a happily out gay man (and therefore is good) while Roderick is a sad divorced hetero (and therefore is bad). Auggie is the richer man because he is a good man; he has a spouse and children and grandchildren he loves with all his heart. He has a family and a community and he has found a sort of happiness no money can buy. Roderick owns the world – but what does he really have? What do his children even have? How could they ever build communities for themselves if they were never in one? Their father made them compete for his love. He never nurtured their bonds, he just showered them with money and excess until it was too much for them to handle. Juno herself pointed out - they were never a family. The House of Usher was only that. A house. It is empty and soulless.

What is queerness without a community? How could the people who represent the relentless corporate normativity and cutthroat capitalism ever be good queer rep? How can they even be queer?

Hear me out: on the most individual, simple level, being queer is still about not fitting in. These kids are bastards. They are are PoC and women in a predominantly male and white dominated space. They're on top of the world, but they're still outsiders to their own House. How could they not be queer?

And yes, I know this discussion takes a different turn when it comes to representation in media, but it's not like Flannagan fell into a Hays Code-era flamboyant villain trope. Queerness is just there. Just like Victorine and August are both black people in (arguably) the opposite ends of the morality spectrum, there are queer characters of many kinds here. The story just happens to be about the fucked up ones.

HoU is a poignant critique of capitalism and a surprisingly funny adaptation of Poe. We'll judge it by that. It happens to be queer – more things should be.

[havenroyals]

Storytelling Secret Saturday

Back again...

Ethan does not like dancing. Line dancing especially. Not in a "too cool for school" kind of way, though that's how he acts when asked. Ethan cannot let go and enjoy dancing as others can. He's too focused on the moves and following the words that he looks stiff compared to his wife and kids (and in-laws, before they died). As the sole white man at the cookouts, he decided to sit dances out after watching little EJ dominate the floor while texting the whole time. Luckily, his mother-in-law May ran anyone who questioned him off (Ethan was very close to Harmonie's mom; her Dad not so much. There was some racial bias on Pop's side but they got through it). Ethan will slow dance with Harmonie from time to time, but refuses any other rhythm based movement.

I do not plan on doing Cartel flashbacks (other than the birthday party ones). Not so much due to time, but because the stories are mostly sad. I will answer any questions readers may have about Ares's (and his family's) past. As he and Emelia get closer, he has been sharing random peeks behind the curtain. Emelia does have questions, so I may just use your questions as her questions when I scripting. Also, not sure if anyone checked out the character page, but only characters who've been in (or mentioned in) at least two chapters get a profiles. There currently isn't a profile for Ares's cousin, Luka or his ex, Valyria. (That may change 👀👀)

Speaking of the character page, you can sort them by different statuses. It was originally a secret in the story, but Dr. Alanna is transgender. It was originally a secret that would be leaked to the press, leading to Emelia making Ares take back his promise of not killing for her. Even though that is the disgusting type of behavior the media (especially royal media) would do, I did not want to copy that. I love Alanna, and I even felt awful about writing the article calling her ugly. There's enough mess and drama in my story. I don't need to hurt a fellow LGBTQ+ member, even if she is fictional. If that original plan went through, Alanna would rightfully leave Max, and I want them to be happy.

And to end it dramatically...we're currently in chapter V...by chapter VII-ish a major character will die. It may or may not be who you're thinking. I've had it planned forever and it will happen. Sorry not sorry. Ask all you want, I won't tell.

[submissive-humiliation-slut]

The delicious allure of being hatefucked

The very thought of being fucked in anger... or worse - in hatred -makes me so fucking wet.

Having someone aggressively 'take' you, ravage use and hurt you because they are trying to teach you a lesson, get revenge on you or on someone you love, seeking restitution for wrongs you may or may not have done, taking out their other frustrations or just blowing off some steam... that's insanely hot.

I cannot tell you how many, many times I have edged (and cum) fantasising about being hatefucked.

Ex boyfriend you had a messy breakup with lets himself in using the keys he still has to your apartment and wordlessly grabs you by your hair, drags you into the bedroom you now share with your beloved husband and mercilessly slaps, chokes and fucks you. Then he gets off you - kicks you off the bed on the floor, takes the photo of you and your husband from the bedside table and puts it on your writhing body, stands above you with his cock still slick with your pussy juices and jerks off on your naked body with some of his cum ruining that beloved photo…

Co worker who you beat to the prime assignment. Comes into your office when you’re working late, locks the door behind you, tells you to get on your knees. Despite every fibre of your being telling you to fight, you deep submissive soul compels you to sink to your knees and bow your head before him. He ruthlessly face fucks you fully clothed calling you a cheap opportunistic whore. Tears run down your cheeks, drool staining your perfect silk blouse. He is not interested in your body or you - he is just there to use your mouth like a cunt… He pulls out and cums on your face and glasses. Then takes out his phone and takes several photos of you kneeling before him, your face covered in his cum. “Remember your place you cum slut whore…” He spits on our face before walking out leaving you on your knees. Later that night he sends you one of the photos of you cum soaked face with a text “Tomorrow… my place”...

Your father’s business partner who lost all his investment when he tried to sue your dad sends his wife to invite you over so you can help mend bridges between them. In their home, she holds you down while her husband rips your clothes off. She gently strokes your hair while you get mercilessly fucked and slapped by her husband who cums inside you. Then they make you watch the video of you getting hatefucked while they force you to rub yourself senseless and thank them for r@ping you. They film this and send it to your dad. The next day dad drives you to their place and waits outside in the car while their sons and daughter in laws ravage you!

So so so many more…

Fuckkkkkk!

[homosexuhauls]

Diane Clarke was just 10 when she went through two life-changing losses. First, she lost her mother, who was stabbed to death in her own home. Then, she lost her father – the person who had killed her mother.

Pauline Benton, 32, was killed by her husband in 1978 after she told him she was seeing another man. Her death followed a “loveless” marriage in which she was allegedly controlled by her husband, who treated her as though she was a “possession”.

“When we got to the top of our street and there were blue flashing lights, I knew something was up,” Clarke tells The Independent. “All the neighbours were outside the house. There were ambulances and police cars there.”

The now 56-year-old recalls trying to go into her home in Cannock, Staffordshire, but being sent to her neighbour’s instead. Frustrated that nobody would explain what was going on, she had to wait until the next day for her grandfather to tell her news that no child should ever have to hear.

Clarke’s father was charged with her mother’s murder, which he denied, but he admitted manslaughter. He was sentenced at Birmingham Crown Court to three years in prison.

Clarke visited him in jail while living with her mother’s parents. Then, when he was released, she and her brother went to live with him again. As a child who could not fully understand the magnitude of what had happened, Clarke wanted to live with her father again, but now desperately wishes she had remained with her grandparents.

While Clarke’s situation may sound deeply shocking, she is not alone. Men who kill their partners in the UK automatically hold on to parental responsibility for their children – even if they are in prison. It means they remain in control of their children’s lives – including choosing where they live, and deciding on their healthcare needs, for example – unless a court removes parental responsibility.

Jade’s Law

With families up and down the country facing this situation, Labour has lent its backing to Jade’s Law: a proposed piece of legislation that would withdraw parental responsibility from a mother or father found guilty of murdering their child’s other parent.

In its current form, the proposed law – named after 27-year-old Jade Ward, who was stabbed and strangled in her home by her ex-partner Russell Marsh as their four young sons slept – would not cover a situation like Clarke’s, because her father was convicted of manslaughter, not murder.

But the mother of two, now a domestic abuse campaigner, is calling for the law to be broadened in order to cover both crimes when domestic abuse is involved.

‘Play fighting’

Clarke tells The Independent that her mother met another man, which she saw as her “way out” of the toxic relationship with Clarke’s father. It was when she finally plucked up the courage to tell her husband the truth that he turned violent.

A newspaper cutting about the case describes how Benton’s husband – “incensed” at hearing of her six-month affair – “plunged a bread knife into her chest”.

“It was sold in the newspapers and in the court as she asked for it because she had an affair,” says Clarke.

Court reports said Clarke’s father was a “normally placid man”, but a social enquiry report used in the case, seen by The Independent, quotes Benton’s father describing him as a “jealous man” who tended to treat his wife as “a possession”.

Clarke remembers how her father, who was married to her mother for 15 years, would physically fight with his wife until she would go into the bedroom crying. Her father would refer to this as “play fighting”, she says.

“My relationship with my mum wasn’t good, because my dad was getting me to mock her and abuse her as well,” she recalls. “So when he killed her, I missed my dad more than I missed my mum.”

While her father was in prison, Clarke spent her time looking after her mother’s parents, who were “wrapped up in their own pain”.

“They were on Valium. They were drinking,” Clarke recalls. “I was looking after them. They’ve lost their daughter, their daughter has been killed, you know – they’re devastated.”

She says nobody checked to see if she was coping when she started at a new school, and recalls the “traumatic” experience of sitting making a Mother’s Day card, which she addressed to her grandmother.

“I was getting bullied at that school by this time, as well, because I was getting more and more vulnerable. I didn’t tell anybody I was being bullied.”

‘I was having nightmares’

Living with the man who had killed her mother wasn’t easy. Describing the situation after he was released from prison, Clarke says she played the role of mum, doing the cleaning, washing and cooking, and feeling “desperately, desperately alone” while doing so.

“I was having nightmares,” she adds. “Somebody was trying to kill me in the dreams. I’ve always thought ‘I’ve got to be careful what I say or do, because what if he kills me?’ And even though he’s an old man now, I still have that fear.”

After leaving school, she “hit rock bottom”, getting into a relationship with a violent boyfriend and making an attempt to kill herself. Clarke is still vaguely in touch with her father, but effectively considers herself an orphan.

“If I saw him in the street, I would try and avoid talking to him,” she says. “But if I came face to face, the inner child would just be happy and pleasing and say hello and be respectful towards him, because that was the way I survived when I lived with him.”

Speaking to The Independent about Jade’s Law – which was debated in parliament at the end of last year – Ellie Reeves, the shadow minister for prisons and probation, urged the government to take action.

The Labour MP for Lewisham West and Penge, who leads on violence against women and girls in the justice team, said: “It is shocking that, as the law currently stands, killers retain parental responsibility after murdering their child’s mother – enabling them to continually abuse and assert control over their children even from prison.

“Labour has called for Jade’s Law to automatically suspend parental rights for fathers who have murdered their child’s mother. This will put the rights of victims above those of perpetrators, and work to end violence against women and girls. That is how we will prevent crime and protect families.”

A spokesperson for the Ministry of Justice told The Independent: “Judges are required to put the welfare of children first, and can effectively remove all rights and powers from a parent who has murdered the other.”

Responding to the Jade’s Law petition, the government said it recognises that in situations where a parent is convicted of the murder of another parent, the process can be “onerous”.

Dr Adrienne Barnett, who specialised in family law while practising as a barrister for more than 30 years, told The Independent it is “incredibly rare” for a father’s parental responsibility to be withdrawn, “even in the most heinous and harrowing circumstances”.

Hazel Mercer, of Advocacy After Fatal Domestic Abuse, says the families she supports after domestic homicide find the fact that perpetrators still have parental rights “highly traumatic”.

The national domestic abuse helpline offers support for women on 0808 2000 247, or you can visit the Refuge website. There is a dedicated men’s advice line on 0808 8010 327. Those in the US can call the domestic violence hotline on 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Other international helplines can be found via www.befrienders.org

[divinecomedyproductions]

Unpopular RWBY Opinions

Some of these things are incorporated into my reimagined RWBY AU(not all of them) and my original stories

1. Arkos, BlackSun, Iceberg, and Renora should have survived and get a happy ending, I don’t give a damn about Pyrrha’s name or allusion.

2. RWBY didn’t have to be a super dark epic, it’s become pretentious. Maybe more akin to Star Wars or Justice League Unlimited

3. Adam should have just been an initial antagonist who doesn't commit super horrible things, the psycho abusive ex was melodramatic and dumb. Wether he joins the good guys or ends tragically is up to anybody.

4. Maybe we were better off without the Salem/Ozma conflict and have WTCH as individual arc villains with their own minions

5. I think Roman, Cinder, and their gang should have been just morally grey found family characters like Boba Fett, some kind of gang of thieves akin to those in Baccano or something and just help or hinder the cast like Team Rocket or something but not as silly. 

With Cinder and Roman becoming a couple and kinda like a "Gomez and Mortica" pair and Emerald and Merc hooking up, and Emerald and Neo would be like their daughters and Merc the son-in-law. I might recycle that idea for one of my original stories thats inspired by Skullgirls and Baccano who's protagonist sis something of an Anti-Cinder and an Anti-Torchwick with a ragtag gang fighting against a corrupt government run by a demonic-powered mafia.

6. Maybe RWBY could have been more like a Dragonball/Fairy Tail universe instead in terms of tone and narrative structure, and that wouldn’t have been a bad thing.

7. At the very least, Ozma and Salem could have been an explanation of the origin of the world and just something that would be rediscovered overtime and Ozpin and his circle are some keepers of ancient myth or something. Like The Jedi Order or The Time Lords or something idk.

8. Kinda feel Oscar wasn’t necessary, as much as I like him

9. Maybe the corrupt SDC and Bad Dad Jacques was also needless, maybe just one of the few good underdog companies in Atlas and Jack being initially a bit too hard on Weiss due to upholding the family’s honor and chivalry but means well and initial harsh nature involving his wife, a scientist who worked with Dr.Watts and Dr. Poldenia, being murdered at the hands of an anti-Faunus milita group and Watts having some role in it. Mostly because I'm just exhausted of the "Bad Dad" trope

10. Have Watts have a megacorporation and be the corrupt company in Atlas instead who’s responsible for their tech and uses unethical Faunus labor in his factories(even though in secret Watts just hates everybody) instead and have a bitter rivalry with Jacques and The SDC, especially due to Jack and Arthur’s personal history regarding Mrs.Schnee.

11. Hazel should have just been a Meta-Knight like character, a good guy but on nobody’s side with a grudge against Ozpin for understandable reasons, he has bear claw-like gauntlet weapons, and becomes a rival to Yang seeing his sister in her and is the “Papa Bear” to her “Goldilocks”

12. Bumbleby is a bad ship and it’s fandom are filled with bitter shrews who use it as representation despite how toxic it is.

13. Disagreeing with Monty’s vision isn’t inherently malicious.

14. I agree with @sytokun making Blake basically a Princess and have loving parents who are also influential was also dumb. Make her an Orphan with the WF/Team RWBY her found family instead. Or I would at least give her a “dead dad” with her Mom living in Menagerie but not as a “Chieftess” aka a QUEEN. They called themselves Cheiftan and Chieftess because it sounded cute.

[barbatos-sama]

thoughts after one watch:

i was actually nervous for this episode bc you could tell from the season preview it was a court episode but we didn't know who was being put on trial. me and some other ppl in the fandom were afraid that we'd get an episode where royals were punished for mingling with the lower class (like stollas and oz) but it was actually specifically about bliitz's use of the grimoire.

we got to see all seven sins IN THE SAME ROOM (except for luci since the shows aren't allowed to cross over, he was referenced though).

we actually also got a huge lore drop that satan actually ruled hell before luci even fell from heaven??? i would love to know what happened that made the rulership pass over like that, although considering how absent luci is, satan might as well still be the ruler anyway because he acts like it. luci couldn't even attend the trial, and i highly doubt that's Just because of the whole shows not being able to cross over thing, luci in general even in his own show is very absent and doesn't do his job. satan is confirmed to have created imp kind himself, which confirms my theory that he created them in his image hehe. also he's HUGE. MASSIVE.

these two were serving cunt together and i'm happy to know that they're friends like people assumed they would be. they were trying to defend bliitz for his actions, which is really sweet since bee had only met bliitz once at a party before but she could tell he was a good person.

mammmon's "you're going to regret saying that" comment doesn't seem to have meant shit because it doesn't look like oz can get in trouble with the other sins for being with fiizz, apparently everyone there knows he and bee "like mingling with the lower class" and it's not like, illegal or anything. good for them. mammmon bee and oz were all flying insults at each other left and right lol

we got to see leviatthan and belphaggor! i was right about leviathan being a woman! or, women i guess? the two heads seem to have distinct personalities. we didn't hear them speak though.

bel is the one we got to see the least of unfortunately, not many clear shots of her. she didn't have any lines and was sleeping through most of the trial

for the gist of the episode, basically they were going to have bliitz executed at first and everyone was super afraid. but stollas intervened and his punishment wasn't death, because he's a royal and as satan put it "your life actually has value" so instead he will be stripped of his powers for 100 years. which honestly turned out way better than i thought it would. the worst thing right now is that his brother in law, anddrealphus, will be taking over his everything. and it leaves his daughter in the custody of his ex wife, who already seems to be in the process of manipulating her to be against her dad, which is kinda heartbreaking because his daughter is really all he has, the only thing he truly cares about, and she's gonna be turned against him.

anddrealphus is probably my least favorite character in the show right now he is.... weird. he keeps calling his sister hot and attractive and the first time it was like "okay he's just being supportive in a weird way" but he's called her hot like three or four times now, but it's also weird bc he's gay so i don't think it's supposed to be an incest thing (he just in general acts gay and then a pride month post confirmed it) so i don't know if it's supposed to be a "gay man is overly comfortable amongst women" joke or if the joke is supposed to be incest or what. definitely weird and i don't like it, want it to stop lol. he did grant me this great screenshot though

also look at these twos reactions when they saw death sentence read out on tv ;A;

the way it ended is kinda bittersweet bc hooray nobody died but also stollas lost everything and he's too numb to speak mostly. there was a wholesome scene where bliitz helped him take a bath which you know i love that kinda stuff lol

basically uhhhhh i feel like if this show is ever gonna make me actually invested in the main ship i suppose it would be now that mr princey is at a commoners level. i feel like that ship has sailed though like i feel like if i haven't rly cared about them this whole time nothing is gonna make me suddenly have brainrot for them lol. more thoughts upon subsequent rewatches probably

[kariachi]

What's beneath the cut is very Gwen&Ben-negative. This is your warning,

So, last night my brain meandered over to the plethora of 'Devlin is Gwen's' works out there, more specifically the ones that try to fit that into an otherwise canon-compliant Ken 10. Annoys the piss out of me, personally, because I've seen more than a few say it's canon because Gwevin despite the information we get in the the show itself, but que sera sera. But my brain continued onward into 'what would we do'? If we were told 'Gwevin is canon, therefore Gwen is Devlin's mother, now rewrite Ken 10 with that in mind', what would we put out?

Regular readers of this blog, especially those who know my spiteful nature, may see where this is gonna go....

So, we start off, we're building off Gwen's shit in the sequels, where she's clearly of the opinion that it's fine to use violence against your partner when you're unhappy with them. I've said before that someone who pulls some of the shit she does as openly and in front of others as she does sure as fuck ain't a saint behind closed doors, and I've mentioned before that her actions seem to get bolder over time.

Piece one of the episode then- Gwen has continued on her 'totally not abuse because Kevin is sturdy and 'deserves' it' bullshit, primarily in 'small' but regular acts rather than big displays.

"Okay Achi," I hear you say, "but a big part of the plot of the episode is Devlin releasing his dad from the Null Void, he can't do that if his dad is at home getting knocked around." To which I say two things- 1) Kevin is openly a 'they hurt my loved ones I hurt them' sort of person; 2) people who knock around their partners are more likely to also knock around their children.

Piece two of the episode- After a point Gwen started in on Devlin and Kevin lost his fucking shit.

So we get two birds with one stone- Kevin is in the Null Void because the Tennysons essentially are the local law enforcement and nobody is going to side with the ex-con who got violent with his Good and Heroic wife no matter what his side of the story is. Devlin wants to get his father out because anyone who was on Kevin's side in the whole mess got cut out, his mom's abusing him, and the adults in his life aren't going to do anything about it unless he starts walking around with black eyes and shit to make it glaring obvious she's not just a overworked single mom doing what she can to to keep Kevin Levin's kid on the right track- boy yearns for the dad he knows is gonna take his side.

So we get our background and our Devlin motivation. But this is a Kenny-focused episode, so where are we getting our shit there?

We don't need time with Kenny and Devlin meeting and making friends, they're family they already know each other and are close, and we don't need the background 'hey it's my birthday' stuff. So, we focus more on Kenny growing as a person.

We start with Kenny and Devlin running around, being kids. This lets us 1) establish them as being close, 2) establish Kenny's desire to be a hero like Ben prior to things going wrong, 3) lay the groundwork for the smack of 'yeah no the shit Gwen does is abuse' later on (personally I'd go with a more straight-laced Devlin who very clearly doesn't want to get dragged into anything that might upset his mom, maybe have him torn whether getting involved in shit or not helping someone would be the wrong call), and 4) potentially allows us to give Devlin what at first seems like a morbid fascination with the Null Void, blamed on trauma in relation to his dad snapping and getting thrown in there as a result.

We take the time to establish Kenny and Devlin, their relationship, and also the time to establish Ben, where he is now, how his son looks up to him, and his relationship with the kids.

Relatively early in the episode we get to see Devlin free Kevin from the Null Void, who- rather than starting shit- grabs his kid and bolts.

The next morning there's phone calls about 'have you seen Devlin', people find out Kevin's free and has him, Ben and Gwen go off to get him while insisting Kenny stay behind because Kevin is dangerous.

Kenny, in proper child hero fashion, does not listen. His dear friend is in danger and he's going to help.

I'm picturing Kenny finding them first and trying to sneak Devlin off when Kevin isn't looking, only to be thoroughly confused when Devlin staunchly refuses to go back, telling Kenny to just go home before vanishing off with his dad again.

There's a lot of fighting and arguing once the adults clash. I've got two specific images in my head- one of Kevin telling Devlin to stay safely out of the way and getting even more pissed at Gwen when he doesn't even hesitate to listen because that's not healthy Levin behavior and he's met enough of them to know it's not healthy Tennyson behavior either, and one 'moment of brevity' case of Kenny trying to help in the fight only to 1) be very out-classed, Kevin's already holding his own against two seasoned heroes who know how he works Kenny is not gonna do anything, and 2) merely prompt the adults to start doing fucking bizarre maneuvers to fight around him while all three urge him to get out of the fucking line of fire.

But what hits Kenny, and that's the important part is hitting Kenny in all the character growth spots, is that the arguing is about Kevin taking Devlin, and Kevin's snapping against Gwen, but also involves a lot of Kevin accusing Gwen of abuse and Ben of enabling her, holding that up as the reason he did what he did, while Ben and Gwen's responses really just boil down to 'you are and were overreacting, you've gone too far, we had faith in and defended you and you tried to put the person who loves you most in traction'.

Then you add on him eventually abandoning the fight to try again with getting Devlin out of there and to safety and having him snap, not violently but emotionally, and confirm what Kevin's been saying. His mom has been abusing him, everybody seems to just ignore it or not notice, and he just wants to not deal with that anymore. He wants his dad, who he knows won't stand by and let it happen from prior experience, and he wants to be the fuck away from his mom.

And this right here is the exact point where Kenny learns and grows. He's been questioning since that first attempt to save Devlin what exactly is going on, he's been confused and concerned about the accusations being thrown around by the adults, and here is where he learns two important lessons and chooses the path he's going to take.

His dad isn't a paragon of heroics, the adults in his life can and will make bad decisions and do bad things, even if they're otherwise wonderful, and so he's going to have to align his own moral compass.

Being a hero isn't just about stopping crimes and fighting bad guys.

In the end, Kenny 'messes up', 'accidentally' giving the Levins a prime opportunity to escape, and the three of them all know it. Kevin ruffles his hair, Devlin and him exchange a quick hug, and then they're gone. Kenny doesn't know where, doesn't know if he'll ever see Devlin again, as he leaves with his dad and aunt he can only cross his fingers and hope they end up safe and happy.

End episode.

Now that I write it out, really I think this version would do better not as a one-off in Ben's show but as a season one finale or season two premiere in Kenny's. It would give a whole season in which to establish and build up Kenny and Devlin's bond, to lay the groundwork for the reveal of the truth about Devlin's homelife and for his freeing Kevin, to get Ben established on a pedestal, establish people's opinions on what goes on with Gwen and Devlin prior to the big episode.

(Gwen's staunch belief that she's just preventing Devlin from going down the wrong path like his dad did, especially after having 'failed' with Kevin himself, unable or unwilling to admit that she slipped passed that excuse and into 'and it's cathartic' years before Devlin was even born || Ben admitting wholeheartedly that Gwen can be rough with people, but insistence that what she does isn't abuse, only accentuated by feelings of regret and responsibility re: her being a single mother, since Kevin is his enemy, leading to him cutting her even more slack than he would anyway and making excuses involving how hard raising a superpowered kid alone is || Kenny, not entirely oblivious to what's going on but unknowing of the severity and, between his father's assurances that everything is fine and media's portrayal of abuse as a raised fist or neglect- neither of which he's seen- that what Devlin is dealing with is abuse at all || Devlin with his million conflicting feelings, loving his mother but- without the age, experience, and issues of his father- walking on eggshells at home, hating what he's going through, guilt because he knows other people's parents treat them worse, guilt because he knows his dad snapped out of a desire to protect him, a myriad of worth and confidence issues his mom just can't seem to figure out the source of, all heightening as the first season goes on and Kenny drags him into more trouble, increasing the odds of shit going poorly at home, until he finally can't take it-)

It would also give plenty of time following the episode to build off what Kenny's learned and see how it affects how he approaches heroing from then on. How he questions what the adults say, investigates things himself to make his own decisions. How he steps away from trying to help his dad in fighting bad guys in favor of keeping his eyes open for people in need of help that he may otherwise have overlooked.

Kenneth Tennyson, using his transformations to do shit like help in soup kitchens, no less a hero than his dad for it.

[loganwritesprobably]

CW: Discussions of dementia/Alzheimer's

This is just a quick little vent post, mostly

If you see this, and you read it, and you can relate - you are not alone. This is hard, and I see you - I hope you're doing okay, or as okay as you can be

So my grandad has both. I often joke that he was simply too powerful, he was going to be immortal, they had to nerf him. So, my grandad has both dementia and Alzheimer's. I still don't entirely understand it, because one is a type of the other, but it creates some unique issues.

My grandad appears to be losing his memories randomly, while also going backward in terms of what he remembers, and he's potentially making up false memories in the process. I spent the last five or so years learning to listen when he spoke, because I knew one day I'd mourn the chance I'd lost to learn. Now, when he speaks, I don't know what's Certified Grandad Lore and what's the illness.

He doesn't remember the names of his daughters. He often becomes distressed because his mind works like Dory the fish, and he thinks his eldest daughter Sophie is called Samantha (fake names) and can't find her in his contacts. However, he knows who she is when she's there. He remembers me, I think, and my sibling and my cousins.

He doesn't remember his nephew, barely even seems to remember his brother-in-law who months ago he was telling me I needed to deliver a message of violence to (mostly playful, I think) because he doesn't treasure his wife enough.

I don't know if he remembers me. I wanted him to walk me down the aisle. The last time I saw him, he asked my dad who he was, and then he laughed. I don't know if he was playing off that he needed to be reminded, or he was joking about his own illness.

His wife died of Alzheimer's. My grandmother. Both my dad's parents. His sister-in-law died of Alzheimer's.

For a disease I knew very little of for a long time, and seemed so rare just a few years ago, is so frighteningly involved in my life.

My dad is very serious when he tells me that if he starts developing Alzheimer's or dementia, he intends to kill himself.

There is an increased risk that I will develop one of them. That my sibling will. That my aunts will. That my cousins will.

I fear a day in which my body isn't my own, and I forget that it used to be.

My grandad doesn't think his house is his, but we can't figure out where he thinks he does live. He doesn't remember where the toilet is, and forgets to eat. He's so skinny now, so slow. My grandad used to be untouchable.

My grandad once comforted me after I broke up with an ex by telling me that I should marry a rich man instead. He laughed, and I laughed with him, and it made everything much easier.

The last time I saw him, I wasn't sure that he remembered me, but he assured me that he thought I was doing something good with my life by being at university, because he missed that chance when he was younger and he wished he hadn't. He was narrow minded in his ambitions, and I'm doing well to do differently.

I will graduate, and I will do it for him. I will marry and be happy because that's what he wanted for me. One day, once I'm happier, I'll grow out my hair again because he liked it long. Once I have a job, I'll donate regularly to attempt to get this horrific disease cured.

There is nothing worse than slowly watching your loved one die, and they don't even know they're your loved one.

When you die, you leave behind everyone who loved you, but when you have demenia or alzheimer's, or somethig similar, you don't even know you're leaving them. There's no comfort to be given or gained.

I'm three hours away from home at university and my grandad is dying at home. I live every day dreading my phone ringing with bad news. One day he will die, and he will not walk me down the aisle, and I likely will not have seen him for months.

He will not walk my down the aisle, but I will save him a seat in the front row.

[amberjazmyn]

my love, my life

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - my love, my life 

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - mentions of deaths of parents from cancer, the birth of a child and baptism of said child, non-religious mom and semi-religious dad, crying, abba music if that's a warning, medical inaccuracies when it comes to pregnancy, inaccurate mentions of coronavirus 

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - with the lyrics of mamma mia's version of abba's song, "my love, my life", we see misha collins' younger sister, elouise collins o'shea and her husband, ollie, have their first child, a little girl called eleanor rebecca, who was born on the same day as and named after her grandmother rebecca tippens. 

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - i've had this idea in my head for ages since i have always wanted to write something with the lyrics of "my love, my life" by abba since it's probs one of if not my absolute favourite abba song. as always, the lyrics will be in bold italics, any flashbacks or flashforwards will be in italics and year-stamped so it's not so confusing and present time of the literal baptism will be in regular font. also, just as a repeat newsflash, misha's parents, both of them, are still alive and well from knowledge. however, in this work of fiction, misha's mom rebecca and dad richard, are portrayed as passed on. also, i know misha's no longer with his ex-wife, vicki but, for the purposes of this story due to when it is first set timeline wise, misha and vicki are still together but, by the end of the story, it is then mentioned that they are no longer together like in real life since it was said that they divorced in twenty twenty-two when this particular storyline ends.

masterlist listen to "my love, my life" right here!

- - - 

i've never felt this strong, i'm invincible, how could this go wrong? 

december 28 | twenty twenty

elouise almost screamed but couldn't since she was back at her family home in boston, the rest of her family and her nieces and nephews in the loungeroom where her husband was. this couldn't have been the reason why elouise had been so ill recently, absolutely not was she pregnant and had been for a whole entire trimester already? there was absolutely no way that the positive pregnancy test in front of her and the messages from her obstetrician over the random boston hospital phone app that she had were telling her that she had spent the last twelve/fourteen weeks pregnant with her and her husband ollie's first child and had absolutely no idea whilst also going through the last year of her mother's life due to cancer- rebecca tippens succumbing to the horrific disease a couple of weeks ago, not even, on the fifteenth of this month. 

but, it was absolutely true that elouise was pregnant with her first baby. and it was the fact that if only she found out even two weeks ago, she may have just made it in time to tell her mom about her newest grandchild. and that was what took elouise's strength and invincibility that she had built up since the death of rebecca from one hundred to zero with the click of a finger. elouise was panicking, she was bent over crying, her head resting on the bathroom sink as her iphone filmed the entire thing. she had taken the pregnancy test at first as a joke after vicki, misha's wife and elouise's sister-in-law, suggested it since vicki had recognised the way elouise was sick being the same way she was sick when she was pregnant with her and misha's first child, their eldest son, west anaximander. not once at all did elouise think she was pregnant, sure, she thought she was ill but she genuinely just thought that was due to the grief and stress she had put herself through after the death of her mom rebecca and the broken heart syndrome that her father, richard, had just recently received, a few days after supernatural's last season was announced. 

no, here, here's where we belong, i see a road ahead i never thought i would dare to tread.

after elouise finished her freak-out, she realised that maybe, whilst it was a road she never thought she'd tread, it was a road she belonged driving on. wiping away her tears, elouise picked up the pregnancy test with her shaky hands and she smiled, turning the positive pregnancy test to the iphone camera as she started laughing. 

whispering, she spoke up, "...ollie's going to freak the fuck out! oh my gosh, he's going to be so happy this said positive!" elouise giggled as she then looked down to her tummy which didn't even indicate a 12/14 week baby bump 

elouise then realised because she was going into her second trimester, she was able to tell the rest of her family since there was now no longer any worry about her losing the baby. and then, she started crying all over again when she remembered misha and vicki. misha had always wanted his little sister to have a little baby and now, his dream was finally coming true. but, without their mom with them. 

turning back to her iphone, elouise spoke up again, "i need to tell everyone! but what do i do? i can't just tell them..." elouise trailed off as she tried to think of what she could do to announce the pregnancy to the rest of her family and husband as she quickly pressed stop on her camera recording

that was when a knock sounded on her door and she almost screamed, however, the voice that followed was not who she thought it was, "...sorry, didn't mean to scare you el, it's just vicki here, are you okay? you've been in the bathroom for a while now, what did the test say?" breathing out in relief, elouise unlocked the door so her sister-in-law could let herself in 

letting herself in, vicki closed the door and felt her heart sink when she saw her sister-in-law's teary face however, she wasn't ready for the scream that was to follow, "...i'm pregnant vicki!" elouise squealed out as loudly but also as quietly as possible as vicki's face lit up in excitement 

"seriously? elouise, i didn't even mean to--" 

"--no, don't apologise, vicki! it's a good thing that you recognised my symptoms as being the same ones you had when you were pregnant with west and maison! because i totally wouldn't have, not until i was giving birth anyway it seems like it..." elouise trailed off as vicki looked confused 

"...what do you mean? you can't be that far along, could you?" vicki questioned as elouise nodded her head as vicki's eyes widened 

"vic, i've been pregnant for an entire trimester...if only i found out earlier, i may have been able to tell mom..." elouise trailed off as vicki's face deflated as she moved closer to the younger blonde 

"...oh, babe...elouise i am so sorry!" vicki's voice trembled as she pulled her sister-in-law in for a hug 

like an image passing by, my love, my life, in the mirror of your eyes, my love, my life. 

january | twenty twenty-one

elouise and ollie couldn't hide their excitement as they watched their ob-gyn do an ultrasound of their baby.  after giggling over the coldness of the gel that the nurse had placed on her stomach, elouise was entranced by the image on the ultrasound screen. she couldn't believe that inside of her tummy was a growing human being. whilst it wasn't their first ultrasound of their baby, it was still something that blew the husband and wife's minds every single time they came in for a new scan. 

"...mr and mrs o'shea, because of how many weeks the baby is, we are able to tell you guys the sex, is that something you want to know now or would you like to wait until the birth to find out?" the female ob-gyn questioned as elouise and ollie smiled, their excitement doubling 

"may we know now?" elouise asked nervously, ollie nodding his head in agreement with his wife as the nurse smiled and nodded her own head in confirmation 

"of course, you guys can! well, if you just look here, i can tell you that you are having a baby girl!" the ob-gyn was stoked to tell the new parents they were having a little girl, elouise and ollie were silenced by shock 

thankfully though, they weren't silenced for too long as tears quickly slipped from the corner of elouise's eye that was closest to ollie as he wiped them away for her, "we're having a little girl, el! that's amazing, thank you, doctor!" ollie spoke up with excitement as the doctor smiled and nodded her head as she moved the probe across elouise's tummy a few more times 

"my pleasure ollie and elouise, and i can already tell how loved this little munchkin is," she responded as she wiped off the residual gel that had stayed on elouise's tummy, allowing the soon-to-be mum to clean herself up properly

whilst the ob-gyn cleared her own station and led the o'shea's back to the reception desk with the little envelope with the pink piece of paper inside of it stating that their baby was a little girl, she couldn't help but feel her heart breaking for the way elouise reacted. it wasn't a secret that the collins' had just gone through a tragedy. it had been reported on by almost every single american and canadian gossip news site that misha collins and his family had lost their beloved mother, rebecca tippens. and it was obvious that finding out that elouise was now pregnant, not that long after the loss of her mom and now finding out it's a little girl would have been so conflicting and an added bag of emotions for the young girl to be carrying with her. the nurse just hoped that this child, this little girl would be the healing angel that elouise and the rest of her family needed to heal and to see the light at the end of the grieving. 

and, turns out that the ob-gyn was correct, that little girl would be the healing angel that the entire collins/krushnic/tippens family needed. 

i can see it all so clearly, all i love so dearly, images passing by, like reflections of your mind, my love, my life are the words i try to find, my love, my life. 

february | twenty twenty-one

elouise smiled and waited patiently in the green room of an entertainment tonight interview alongside her brother's supernatural cast. she was going to announce publically, to the world, that she was pregnant after it had been rumoured. she was with the supernatural cast because the rumours had gotten so bad that the magazines and journalists had started asking the spn cast and their families about the rumours since elouise hadn't actually told any of them apart from misha and that was only because of the fact they are brother and sister. and because misha had actually found out accidentally whilst elouise was filming an ad for a clothing brand on her instagram. since elouise's last ultrasound scan when she and ollie found out she'd be having a little girl, she had blown up like a little balloon and was starting to show so, it had gotten somewhat harder to hide the bump however, she managed with an oversized white button-down with a flowy skirt. the button-down being tied at the base of her belly button which somehow hid the fact she was ballooning with her little pregnancy bump after not showing for over fourteen weeks. 

"...on this evening's edition of entertainment tonight, we have my personal favourite guests in the world and they are the cast of supernatural and elouise collins o'shea. i interview them and i also find out what i'm being told is the best news in the entire world after this break so don't change this channel..." matt cohen, the interviewer announces as the cameraman then signs that it's a commercial break to which matt moves closer off his seat to speak with his former spn cast and elouise

as he spoke with his favourite guests, matt had a slight idea of what the younger girl's announcement could be but, again, he didn't want to pry nor did he wanna ruin the surprise for himself. so, he didn't even think about what the surprise announcement could even be. so, he continued his conversation like he always did, happy to catch up and also quickly sending his condolences to misha and elouise for the loss of their mom, rebecca, moments before they were back on air. misha and elouise thanked matt sweetly as they both smiled and readied themselves for the interview.

back on the air, matt smiled and introduced the segment before he handed it over to the spn cast and elouise, "...so, as i said before the break, i have the amazing cast of supernatural and the even more amazing, gorgeous young lady, elouise o'shea who is misha's little sister! so, guys, how have you all been? even though we did catch up a little during the commerical break, give us the gossip, what's been happening over lockdown?" matt questioned, getting excited as he noticed the way elouise seemed to be wanting to just already tell him and the rest of the supernatural cast and the world the big surprise news she was even in this interview for

"well, personally for the remaining supernatural cast, we've just been getting ready for our upcoming fifteenth and final season of supernatural. so, we're very very keen for everyone to see it. but, honestly, that's the only thing that's been different to what everyone else has been doing considering we've just been through lockdown just like everyone else has..." jensen chuckled as matt nodded his head and then smiled over to elouise so she could answer for herself

"...umm, personally for me, i've been writing some music in my little home studio and doing some self-tapes for some tv and movie auditions but, ollie, my husband and i also recently returned from our honeymoon since it was postponed. because, for those who weren't aware, ollie and i got married just at the very beginning of twenty-twenty so, right before covid kind of destroyed everything *giggles* and it was only in the last couple of weeks where we were able to safely have a little honeymoon a year later so we went to hawaii for a couple of weeks which was exciting..." elouise trailed off with a giggle as she had to stop herself from suddenly caressing her baby bump - a comfort thing she had since picked up ever since the belly had popped out of seemingly nowhere and instead placed her hands on the couch beside her  

matt smiled sweetly with a head-nod, "...that's gorgeous, i mean, we have got some photos here and where you and ollie were staying just looks absolutely lush! but, obviously, you made sure you were completely covid safe and took all of the precautions *elouise nods her head* that's great. i'm glad you guys had so much fun considering it was still tainted due to the continuing worries of the pandemic..." matt trailed off as elouise nodded her head and smiled as she looked to misha with a cheeky smile as he couldn't hide his giggle

this, obviously, caught the attention of matt and the other costars so, he questioned it, "...what was that about, misha and elouise? care to share with the class? i feel like a teacher saying that but, care to share what's made you two giggle?" matt laughs himself as the collins siblings calm themselves down as misha speaks up

"i think elouise is just ready to reveal the surprise announcement. you see, my little sister can get quite impatient and can sometimes be close to ruining surprises if you make her wait for too long!" misha giggles as elouise shyly nods her head as matt's face relaxes and he smiles, nodding his head as the other costars are still considerably confused

"okay then elouise, come out with it. what is this big surprise announcement that you are so eager to tell us..." matt was being cheeky as elouise bit her lip as misha gripped her hand tightly and she just came out with it

and, truthfully, this was not the surprise annouoncement that matt or jared, jensen and alex thought it was going to be, "...i'm pregnant with me and ollie's first baby..." elouise trailed off, finally allowing her hands to cradle the growing baby bump, misha's hand moving back to his lap as he bit his lip to stop his smile from getting any bigger and stupid

it was silent which freaked elouise and misha out but, it didn't last for too long when matt cheered and stood up. ignoring the fact that he really shouldn't have pulled the newly pregnant woman in for a hug in regular non-covid times. but, especially now due to corona but, he'd known this girl since she was a kid when misha first introduced them to each other before matt was even a news anchor for entertainment tonight. giggling, elouise hugged the floridian host back before she moved out of the hug so she could sit back down as the other three, jared, jensen and alex were in shock at the surprise announcement. they genuinely had no idea that their costar's little sister was pregnant. they knew she had been unwell ever since the loss of her mom, rebecca, but never did they think it was because junior collins was pregnant. but now, it made so much sense to them, especially when they remembered the way vicki immediately rushed up the stairs at the slight sound commotion heard by her from the upstairs bathroom to the right on that day that the three guys came to realise as the day that elouise found out she was pregnant.

jared was the first one out of the three to stand up and pull his costars' sister in for a hug as she giggled, "...congratulations, elouise! you've been pregnant this whole time?" jared whispered as elouise giggled and nodded her head

"yeah, this whole time!" elouise giggled as jensen and alex joined seconds later in an excited group hug as misha watched on

thankfully the hug didn't last too long and matt started to just focus on this new announcement and asked all the questions, "so, elouise, how long have you been pregnant for? because from what it looks like, it looks like you've got a little bit of a bump," matt smiled as elouise smiled sweetly and nodded her head, caressing her little bump

"i found out i was pregnant on the twenty-eighth of december so, not that long after christmas and not that long after misha and i lost our mom. however, i had been pregnant for a whole trimester before finding out that day. so, if i had found out earlier, i may have had the chance of telling this wonderful news of another grandchild to my mom..." elouise trailed off as her smile stayed strong and didn't falter

"...aw, love. do you know the sex of the baby or, is that something you and ollie want to keep a secret until the birth?" matt asks cautiously as elouise nods her head, her smile growing wider as misha was now in shock, he wasn't told the sex and neither, obviously, were the other three

"yes, we do but, the surprise will be for these four, they'll need to wait until the birth but, matt, if you really can't wait that long, i can whisper it to you?" elouise giggled at the end as matt's eyes lit up as he nodded his head, not caring this was live television

matt stood up as elouise followed, grabbing the new's anchor's hands and whispering it to him, matt, if he wasn't on live television, could have burst out into tears but he managed to hold them off, "...congratulations, elouise! oh, this baby is already so loved!" matt whispered back after elouise revealed that she and ollie were having a little girl

"thank you, matt, this baby is so loved," she whispered back as they sat back down

the interview continued even though the excitement of elouise and ollie's pregnancy took over and was still a big topic of discussion on everyone's lips, they continued to mention other things that were also supposed to be talked about. like the details of supernatural's finale season that jensen mentioned and the songwriting and auditions that elouise had mentioned she'd been doing as well.

but i know i don't possess you, with all my heart, god bless you, you'll be my love and my life. you're my one and only. 

present time | twenty twenty-two

elouise was running around everywhere like a headless chicken as ollie and their little baby girl stood watching. elouise was trying to sort everything out but wasn't able to due to the way she was so manic about it and, ollie called her out over it.

"...babe, babe, ELOUISE...darling, you won't be able to sort everything out before little one's baptism if you continue to be so manic over it!" ollie chuckled at the end as elouise finally stopped herself and nodded her head in agreement

"sorry babe, it's just..."

"...yeah, i get it, it's hard that she's not here but, just remember who still is here. i'm here babe, you're here, our little one is here. if you keep on freaking out, you won't be able to get anything done..." ollie trailed off before continuing

"...i know your mom wasn't so sure about our future children getting baptised into the catholic church, but the irish catholic church more specifically. but, it's truly only because of the fact that her daddy's irish and, if my own mammy wasn't so insistent, i would have also said no to this happening. but, because i'd get me arse kicked, i compromised...we compromised and said our children would only get baptised and if they so chose to be religious as they got older, they could choose..." ollie smiled as he wrapped his arms around elouise as she smiled and nodded her head

her husband was correct. the only reason why their one-year-old was getting baptised into the irish catholic church at a year old was because of the little girl's irish lineage due to her father being fully born and raised in ireland. because originally, not only elouise but ollie himself was unsure about their children being baptised when it wasn't really a thing that exisited in his wife's family.

"...so, el, what is it you need to get done before we leave?" ollie was calm and he was collected and that was truly one of the reasons why elouise fell in love with him because he always balanced out her impulsiveness and her anxiety-induced living

and, when it came to responding to her husband's question, elouise had no idea how to respond, "umm, i actually don't know..." and that was because everything that needed to be done had already been done so this very situation wouldn't happen even though it was going to happen anyway because it always did

"...thought so, and it's because everything has already been done! we should be in the car driving to the church right now for this one's christening but, because i already suspected that this was going to happen, i rang up the priest in advance just in case. so, your welcome baby, now can we make out way out of this house and to the church, please?" ollie tilted his head to the side with a cheeky smile as elouise opened and then closed her mouth and smiled, shaking her head

"thanks, ollie. i'd really be losing the plot if i didn't have you with me," elouise whispered as she moved closer to her husband and daughter, her lips almost caressing her husband's face as he pulled away with a chuckle

"not here babe, we need to go watch our daughter's christening and your welcome and i too would lose the plot if i didn't have you with me," ollie spoke as the husband and wife left it at that with their conversation and made it out of their house to their car

on their drive to the church for their daughter's christening into the irish catholic chruch, which would be photographed by people magazine, elouise felt a calm rush over her. her husband was right, she should really stop making her focus be on those who she no longer has with her. even though it included her parents, rebecca and richard, richard lost his battle with broken heart syndrome ten months after rebecca, a couple of months after elouise had given birth to her and ollie's little girl.

i held you close to me, felt your heart beat and i thought: i am free. oh yes, and as one are we in the now and beyond, nothing and no one can break this bond. 

may | twenty twenty-one

elouise hadn't felt this kind of pain in her life before but, it was a pain that she was sure she never wanted to feel again...even if it meant she never gave her daughter any more siblings. but, in all truthfulness, this pain was surely going to be forgotten about any moment when she...

...hears the cries of her little baby girl for the very first time...

"...here's your little girl, elouise and ollie. isn't she just gorgeous?" hayley, elouise's midwife and smiled as she handed over the baby girl as elouise choked down a happy sob, her arms cradling her baby girl as though it was a regular instinct - as if in a past life elouise had been a mother before

"she's beautiful, oh my goodness, we made this baby, ollie!" elouise turned to her husband who smiled tearfully as he nodded his head

"yeah we did babe, we made out little miracle, babe!" ollie sniffled, wiping away a tear with his shoulder as he slowly sat himself down on the edge of the hospital bed, his hand reaching up to touch the top of his newborn's head

"wow...we're parents, ollie. we actually have our little family! we have our little dog, our husky girl bambi and now we have our little eleanor rebecca..." elouise trailed off, tears hitting her eyes as she realised she had just said the name of her baby girl out loud for the first time

and it made both ollie and hayley smile, "...so, is eleanor rebecca this little pretty's name?" she asked, rolling her wheely chair towards the computer to write up the birth certificate as both parents, elouise and ollie nodded their heads

"yeah, eleanor rebecca is her name...rebecca for her middle name since that's her grandmommy's name and because they were born on the same day and eleanor as her first name since it's my middle name," elouise explained as hayley nodded her head, knowing the significance of the little girl's name

"that's beautiful, elouise. however, because little eleanor rebecca is earlier than her due date in august, we do have to place her in an incubator, however, once she reaches a certain weight, she'll be able to leave. is that all okay?" hayley asks, knowing how daunting it can be from being so happy with your newborn in your arms to them then being taken away to a different room

and elouise and ollie smiled, both understanding that they couldn't hold onto their little girl forever like many other mommies and daddies who had their babies on time, "absolutely fine, hayley. thank you for telling us, we'll be glad to hear that she'll be able to gain some more weight since she is really tiny," elouise spoke up, only now realising just how tiny their little eleanor was as ollie too only realised

"wonderful, well, if you two want to, we can either have the grandparents and godparents meet little eleanor in here or we can place her in the incubator and have them meet her in there. which would you prefer?" hayley then asks as elouise and ollie smile, they could choose how their family meet their little bundle of joy

"we can choose?" ollie choked out in shock as hayley giggled and nodded her head with a smile, making elouise and ollie smile

"absolutely you can! however, if you do want for them to meet eleanor in here, it can only be for five minutes per person before i'd have to then take her and place her into an incubator a couple of floors above us. is that okay?" hayley questioned as ollie and elouise nodded their heads straight away

"that's absolutely fine, hayley! we just want them to see her, they've waited for so long already, i feel selfish enough making them wait whilst we have this conversation," elouise giggled as hayley nodded her head and encouraged ollie to fetch his parents, eleanor's grandparents and the godparents, who were obviously misha, elouise's older brother and jared and genevieve padalecki since misha was no longer married to vicki, his now ex-wife.

so, that's what ollie did, like the proud husband and father he was, he wiped away his tears with a tissue. placed it in his jeans pocket, gave a kiss to his two girls and rushed down the hallway to announce the happy news.

like an image passing by, my love, my life, in the mirror of your eyes, my love, my life. i can see it all so clearly, images passing by 

june | twenty twenty-one

the last time elouise sat in an interview with matt cohen, she was in the second trimester of her pregnancy with her little eleanor rebecca and now, she was just a month gone from giving birth to the little girl. since it was the twenty-ninth of june, this interview today was.

and, in the audience, slightly behind the camera was her husband ollie, their little girl eleanor and eleanor's godparents misha, the padaleckis and the rest of eleanor's uncles and aunties who were jensen and danneel and other spn cast members watching the solo interview.

with the show on the air, matt introduced his guest, "...on today's show, i have my favourite guest on the show. you know her pretty well because the last time i interviewed her, it just felt like yesterday when it february, only a few months ago, she announced her first pregnancy with her husband on live television with her brother's supernatural cast...it's only elouise collins o'shea sitting with me today on our brand new couches everybody!" matt introduced as that earned a lot of applause as elouise giggled and applauded

"haha, thank you for that wonderful introduction matt, it's great to be back being interviewed by you and on this new couch, oh my goodness, so comfy!" elouise giggled after pulling out from the hug matt pulled her into as she sat back down, crossing her right leg over her left, slanting them to the side

"isn't it so comfy? i'd sleep on these couches if i could *giggles*. oh my goodness, it is so lovely to see you again and to catch up since, like already mentioned, the last time you were here, you announced that you were pregnant with you and your husband's first baby. and then just after that we spoke only briefly during my interview with misha at the end of may since you were in the background and you were just about to pop weren't you?" matt pointed and brought it back to rest on his lip as elouise giggled and nodded her head

"yes, i was about to pop! literally hours from giving birth *giggles* so, my due dat was originally in august of this year so, in two months...one month basically. but, no, the little one said absolutely not mommy, get me out of here now! *giggles* and i had to be induced and have the c-section to get her out and, she was a preemie baby but, thankfully she gained weight pretty quickly and within a couple of weeks i think, we were able to bring her back home with us," elouise nodded as she smiled as matt smiled as well

"aw, isn't the little one just gorgeous, falling asleep in daddy's arms," matt cooed, his eyes captured by the little sleeping girl as elouise's eyes followed and she nodded her head with a small giggle

"i know, i still can't believe she's ours. like, i was fine with just having our little husky, bambi for a little while before starting to try. but, apparently, we didn't even need to try," elouise giggled as matt and the audience giggled as well

"seems as though you didn't *giggles* but, back to this little bundle of joy because, you and ollie have obviously picked out a name for her, but, it's quite a special name, isn't it? would you like to tell us what the name of your beautiful little girl is?" matt introduced, even though he was already told, he was still hanging to see how the rest of the audience (minus the family who of course already knew) was going to react

"of course i can, matt. so, our little baby girl's name is eleanor rebecca o'shea *coos* and the reason why she is called eleanor rebecca is that one, eleanor, her first name, is my middle name and two, rebecca, her middle name, is the name of misha and i's mom. we also came up with that name ages ago not even thinking what day eleanor was going to be born on either..." elouise trailed off as matt smiled

"...so, what day was little eleanor born on, may i ask, elouise?" matt questioned as his eyes sparkled with excitement as elouise smiled, her concentration going to the very little girl and her brother who was teary

"she was born on the twenty-ninth of may, the same day as her grandmother, rebecca," elouise smiled, her own tears building in her eyes, managing to will them away as matt's face relaxed and he smiled sweetly

"aw, that is so special and that is crazy because that was the same day we saw you for the last time briefly in my interview with misha, elouise. so, you were moments away from popping!" matt smiled, a still of his zoom interview with misha and just a little peak of six-month about to give birth pregnant elouise

"i know, it was absolutely terrifying as well matt because it was like, the second your guys' interview finished, my contractions started. and bam, misha, myself and ollie were off to the hospital and after trying to have eleanor naturally, my midwife, hayley, came back to us and said we had to c-section because eleanor wasn't in the right position since she was so small. so, the only other safe way to get eleanor out and delivered alive was to have her c-sectioned and i'm forever grateful that we did do the c-section otherwise i wouldn't have my little love," elouise explained as matt smiled and nodded his head, the audience watching in awe

aw, bless. and speaking of the little one, how old is she now?" matt questioned as elouise's eyes widened, how old was her daughter? what day was it? was today the twenty-ninth or the thirtieth of june?

"uhh, shoot, what day is it today?" elouise asked in a hilarious panic as misha reached for his phone

"it's the twenty-ninth, el!" shouting back to his sister, elouise metaphorically clutched her pearls, grateful that her in-head counting was indeed correct along with the finger counting she hadn't been so secretive with as she liked

"oh, thank god! she is a month old! oh my goodness, i didn't count wrong!" elouise could only giggle at her baby brain in the same way she laughed over her brothers, ex-sister-in-law's as well as the rest of the spn family's baby brains when the ones that did had their children

"wow, she's already a month? that's crazy how time flies, soon it'll be two!" matt was in shock as elouise nodded her head and she turned after hearing the crowd coo in aw only to see a photo elouise had posted of the day she, ollie and little eleanor left the hospital

"i know, don't start me off, matt. it makes me so emotional that she's already a month!" elouise giggled as she turned back from the photo back to matt to continue the interview

the interview continued on smoothly, except for a couple of times when eleanor cried out for her mommy. the second time ollie had apologetically brought up the little one so she could be held by her mommy for the rest of the interview. where in which she stayed silent the rest of the interview, content in her mommy's arms, her tiny little hands gripping tightly to her mommy's pinky finger.

like reflections of your mind, my love, my life, are the words i try to find, my love, my life. but i know i don't possess you, with all my heart, god bless you. 

present time | twenty twenty-two

walking into the irish catholic church with her little bundle of joy, her little eleanor rebecca, elouise was happy. she was content and she was in peace. even though none of her family, including her parents, rebecca and richard, weren't so sure on the irish catholic baptism of their granddaughter, it was still upsetting that they weren't there to witness it. because whilst they weren't really wanting it, like elouise and ollie weren't, they wouldn't have disrespected the event because they knew that it was a compromise made by the parents and grandparents of eleanor that she would be baptised and if she got older and wanted to go further in the religion or not, she had that choice to. but, honestly, elouise had truly made peace with that ages ago, way before the situation in the house had happened before they left. it was truthfully just a moment of vulnerability for elouise and she had no other way of describing it other than her missing her parents, her mom especially.

in her flowing champagne-coloured wrap dress, elouise held her daughter as eleanor's christening dress overwhelmed her because of how big it was. elouise held her as she walked through the hall of the church and towards the priest, her husband ollie and eleanor rebecca's godparents, misha and the padalecki's, jared and genevieve.

elouise smiled in a joy that could have only been described as overwhelming. she knew every single person in this church: first, her brother misha and his two beautiful now grown-up children, west and maison; the padalecki family, jared and geneiveve and their three gorgeous kids, thomas, shep and odette and last but not least, the ackles family, jensen and danneel and their three beautiful kids, jj, zeppelin and arrow. and that was just the "main" supernatural family, there was no use in introducing every single guest and their families and their plus ones that sat in this church for eleanor rebecca o'shea's christening. however, it just really reiterated to elouise how loved this little one-year-old baby girl was to so many people that weren't her direct family.

elouise basked in the flashing lights from the photographers but made sure to still shield little eleanor's face just in case the lights still frightened her like they used to. however, in a cheeky, sly move, the little one-year-old smacked her mommy's hand away and seemed to stare right down the barrel of one particular photographer's camera. of course, this shocked both mom and dad but also made them snicker at the same time as elouise then looked up and blood rushed to her ears in an instant.

elouise couldn't help the blank, emotionless stare she shared towards the female photographer that little eleanor had also seemed to be entranced by. it was just that...the young photographer looked scarily similar to her mom, rebecca tippens. that was until the young girl had completely morphed into elouise's mother and the young mom was glad she didn't completely drop her little eleanor rebecca herself.

it obviously scared the crap out of elouise that she was the only one that was seeing her own mother in this female photographer but, she continued to zone out until a little side tap from her husband, ollie. it was only then that elouise fazed out from the void she was in and noticed that the young female photographer no longer looked like her mom and continued to photograph the christening. little eleanor rebecca taking a liking to the girl.

"...oi, el, babe, what was that all about? you okay?" ollie later questioned as he held eleanor rebecca after they finished the walk back up to the church foyer now that eleanor rebecca had been christened

"yeah...yeah, i'm fine babe. just, that female photographer, the one with brown hair looked scarily similar to mom, that's all..it seemed as though little eleanor rebecca thought so too..." elouise shook her head and rubbed her eyes, feeling like she was going insane as ollie smiled, gently kissing his wife's golden hair

"...i thought i was the only one who noticed that. she did look so much like your mom, i secretly hoped she'd do the dramatic movie reveal thingy, coming out with the dramatic news that she was your long-lost sixth sibling," ollie chortled as elouise cackled, her head shaking

"oh shut up, ollie...she is not our long-lost ninth sibling, you utter doofus. besides, the more i looked at her afterwards, i saw the differences that truly sold it to me that she wasn't anyone in the family that we should have been told about," elouise giggled as she grabbed eleanor rebecca from him as ollie nodded his head

"okay, that's good to know babe, i'll be back in a moment, i promised misha and the kids that i'd touch base with them after the christening, see you soon darling, i miss my two girls already!" ollie shouted after he had left his two girls with kisses to their heads as that allowed the padalecki's to swoop in to have a conversation with the mother and newly christened daughter

"...hey, jared and gen! tom, shep and odette! did you three behave?" elouise lit up in excitement, hugging all five of them as the kids nodded their heads to their aunty elouise

"they behaved exceptionally well, elouise, they were quiet the whole entire time. and, also, just a quick note, did you notice the female photographer right at the front that looked ridiculously like your mom?" gen whispered at the end, just in case she felt like she was insane as elouise giggled and nodded her head

"good to hear they behaved and, yes, i did and so did little eleanor rebecca. did you see the way she smacked my hand away when that lady's camera started flashing?" elouise giggled as gen and jared both nodded their heads

"it was absolutely bizarre, i thought i was going crazy when i turned around to see her," jared spoke up this time as elouise nodded her head in agreement

"i thought so too! i then had that weird moment where after looking at her for too long, she actually turned into mom which was even weirder. but, i then saw the things that was the reminder that she wasn't my mom," elouise giggled as she bopped eleanor rebecca up on her hip higher since she started to slip

the padaleckis stayed to chat with elouise and eleanor rebecca until daddy had come back from his conversation with brother and the niece and nephew, misha, west and maison and happily picked up eleanor rebecca when she reached out for him. allowing elouise to build up her arm strength again after feeling like they were going to fall off.

you are still my love and my life, yes i know i don't possess you. with all my heart, god bless you, you are still my love and my life

present time | twenty twenty-two

elouise softly started to sing the song that was playing during the mamma mia: here we go again movie when she finally looked up from playing with eleanor rebecca and realised the song she had been singing the entire time...

...she had been singing along to my love, my life without even consciously realising it whilst the entire christening scene of sophie and sky's baby was going on during the duration of the song. and it reminded elouise of eleanor rebecca's christening that had just happened the day before. it was sort of ironic because the scene that was playing in front of her was the exact same scene that played in elouise's head when she saw that female photographer that looked ever so similar but yet still so different to her mother.

she then grabbed her phone and quickly put together a little instagram post dedicated to her little girl, her love and her life: eleanor rebecca.

liked by ollieoshea, misha, jaredpadalecki, jensenackles, genpadalecki and 9k others

elouisecollinsoshea you're my one and only eleanor rebecca 🤍

view all 8k comments

ollieoshea my two beautiful girls 🤍

elouisecollinsoshea ollieoshea my beautiful man 🤍

misha absolutely gorgeous 🤍

elouisecollinsoshea misha thank you mish🤍

jaredpadalecki pretty baby girl 🤍

elouisecollinsoshea jaredpadalecki isn't she just jared 🤍

jensenackles eleanor rebecca is gorgeous, elouise 🤍

elouisecollinsoshea jensenackles i mean, her parents are also gorgeous so it makes sense 

genpadalecki beautiful baby and baby momma 🤍

elouisecollinsoshea genpadalecki truth has been told 🤍

mattcohen4real eleanor rebecca is beautiful, elouise 🤍

elouisecollinsoshea mattcohen4real thank you, matt! she is truly everything i could have dreamt of for my first baby 🤍

- - - 

and this is finished! woo, what a fun time writing this but it was difficult! i am also kind of proud of the kind of mamma mia/elouise moment i added in there but, i think it could have for sure been written better, right now, i like it. also, just to reiterate, misha's parents are alive and well from what we know! and also, i totally made up the fact that matt cohen has his own tv show but whatever!

ok ily bye 

wc; 7337

[elderemorune]

What a week.

TW: Suicide discussion ahead. Please be kind to yourself and don't read if you're not in the headspace for it.

A family friend passed away this week. I first learned about it a couple of days ago. Her name was Emily, and she was a lawyer. Damn fine one too. She and I weren't especially close, but I'd ask her legal questions on occasion, stuff like "Hey, how does founding an LLC work?" or "Hey, I just learned about this really cool business idea, can you point me to someone who can help me work out what I'd need to do for it?" It was professional, and I didn't know that much about her.

What I do know is that she suffered from chronic pain, and didn't have any tools to effectively manage it. The stuff that deadened the pain's addictive, and with doctors basically not prescribing opiates at all if they can help it, she was left in the lurch. Eventually it became too much to bear, and she just couldn't do it anymore.

She leaves behind a husband and children, whom are all kind and gentle folk. I recall meeting her partner at a baseball game with my dad once, he was a swell guy. Shook my hand firmly and made jokes about an ex-con marrying his lawyer. She just gave him a withering look, said "Don't be an ass, I don't even practice criminal law!" and we all laughed.

The pain overtook her, and it's hard to blame her.

I mean, can you imagine? Body aching all the time, no reprieve except when you're asleep? Doctors telling you you're engaging in drug seeking behavior simply because you'd like to have one good fucking day, just one?

My wife lives that life too. She's constantly in pain, her body fighting her at any given moment simply for the sin of having been born to parents who ardently refused to have her medical issues treated when she was a child, her dad and stepmom chiding her doctors when they said "She has a hormone imbalance brought on by precocious puberty".

"Oh she doesn't have anything wrong with her, she's just lazy and fat."

I'm digressing from what I wanted to talk about, sorry. That woman's been through a lot, and it's so hard not to get mad about it. Especially right now. I worry so much about her pain levels that I keep her supplied in marijuana and do everything about the house to the best of my abilities just to limit it as much as I can.

And while that's the worst thing that happened this week, I can't really say the rest was good. I mean, in comparison to suicide, sure I guess, but you know.

It's fucking weird when one finds out that your mom didn't actually want to be polyamorous again.

Oh yeah, my folks were poly in 2019, and that blew up massively in their faces for reasons that are not mine to share.

Anyway, I came to find out that my dad lied to my mom about how he met his girlfriend, Sarah. He said he met her on Reddit, but had lied about taking his dating profile down. He takes phone calls from Sarah every night at 5:00, when he's supposed to shut his office down and stop ignoring my mom for the day.

My mom has no desire to meet Sarah. Says "I can't, I'll hate her, and she hasn't even done anything wrong. I don't want to meet her."

As a polyamorous person in a monogamous relationship, there is a right way to do this, and a wrong one, and FUCK is the wrong one lying to your partner about it. I mean shit, I did that three fucking years ago! And while I would absolutely state that my behavior three years ago was of a significantly different (read harsh, mean, unkind, abusive), it started this way. With a lie.

Sure he came clean, but there's nothing that can be trusted about this relationship now.

So I finish talking to my mom about this because I have other shit to do and being angry at my dad for yet another reason isn't doing me much good. She closes out with this:

"Thank you for caring about me and having my back and being my amazing and wonderful son."

To wit I said "Well it's not like I can be anyone else, right? :P"

And completely unprompted, she says "Well you could be my amazing and wonderful 'child' instead of my son and you would still be the same as far as I'm concerned. I would still love you just as much. You're one of my favorite people."

For those who aren't good at speaking white suburban mom, this translates to "I would still love you if you were trans."

What? I'm still confused by this. About once a year, I sit down and take a mental inventory, you know, see who I was this last year, and compare that to who I want to be. That includes taking stock of my gender identity. That part of the process generally amounts to "Am I comfortable in my body? Yes? Good.", but if it were different then that's fine too.

Like, I'm not GNC, I'm not genderqueer, I'm just queer.

Apparently, because trans folks often use this term to refer to themselves, my mom had simply assumed that I was among that crowd.

Again, what? What a fucking leap of logic, mom! Well, at least we know you're an ally.

And also, I'm honestly crossing my fingers with the hope that you'll divorce dad. I love the two of you, but fuck are you awful for each other.

What else happened this week? Hell, I can't remember. Wednesday was weird, but I think I already talked about it previously. That shit with Ruth was a hell of a thing. I told my wife that I'm not going to any family events that Ruth is gonna be at unless my nieces are there. Then I'll just ignore Ruth and play with the kids. They fuckin love me. Hattie, my oldest niece, makes fun of me for "Talking too big" when she brings up God. They don't like Ruth either.

This is already getting kinda long, and I've got work to do, so I guess I'll update some other time.

Please be kind to yourselves.

[thatonedelusiongirl]

About me + My blog

𓍊𓋼𓍊𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊𓋼

My names A an my pronouns are She/her

I have BPD ( kara is my favorite person )

I love art, to read, i love music, animals an i play lots of games an i write poems :)

TC BLOG MAINLY

17 I will be 18 in march ☆

15 years between us with both ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

I do NOT agree with pedophilia !!!

I understand that i’m a minor they are adults I understand the laws an danger i can be in but i’m ok im not in any unsafe situations :)

I am strongly against teacher student relationships that aren’t legal so please be safe an careful !! it’s not hard to be MANIPULATED :/

But this is just a place to share my thoughts without worrying ( i am not with any of these people nor do i plan to be with them now maybe when i am 18 ) I do love Kara a lot she’s very special to me as i’ve said but she is :)

anyways this is a judgement free zone if you don’t like my content or my blogs you may leave but don’t hate because i’m just a person who is trying there best anyways thank you :)

★ ✻ ❥ ♬ ✿ ✈ ∞ ☾ ♠ ❖

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ。 her prettiest problem

　ﾟ･｡･

★ ✻ ❥ ♬ ✿ ✈ ∞ ☾ ♠ ❖

a back ground of my tc’s

Kara- my ex tc also was my art teacher when I was a fresh man we are now besties an im going into my senior year this year she is my biggest supporter an best friend in this entire world ( i am so down bad for her ) she’s very special an important to me like very important. I love when i get to sleep over her house an just stare at her for hours i love watching her sleep…. i know that’s totally creepy lmao but she’s cool an absolutely breathtaking an pisses me off so much sometimes but that’s ok lol i probably piss her off too.

I'd like to give some back ground knownloge on her she's so intelligent has a beautiful smile she's very talented at art she is so uncensored like the one time back when I was a freshman she was talking to me after class an I had said that stupid Fucken kid won't leave me the fuck alone an she said woah heavy on the fucks today huh? but no she has no filter will say absolutely anything that comes to mind she's into crime stuff like ( YOU 'the show' The dhamer show she loved she's into like horror an true crime typa stuff she's also struggles with a lot of the same mental illnesses I do but yeh there's not much more I can say with out sounding like a Werido lmao

i will be calling her kara on her because she reminds me a lot of supergirl an i love super girl so her name is kara

♡₊˚ ・₊✧♡₊˚ ・₊✧ ♡₊˚ ・₊✧♡₊˚ ・₊✧

she loves art, tv, sleeping, an music.

♡₊˚ ・₊✧♡₊˚ ・₊✧ ♡₊˚ ・₊✧♡₊˚ ・₊✧

my other tc is my Sunday school teacher who just makes my daddy’s issues act up but he’s actually so handsome he’s got blue eyes an a beard an glasses an he’s just perfect i am obsessed with this man i don’t know anything about him really not yet at least.

his name will be D or glasses im not sure yet

♡₊˚ ・₊✧♡₊˚ ・₊✧ ♡₊˚ ・₊✧♡₊˚ ・₊✧

he loves his wife, kids, jesus, an hes a bit of a jokester.

♡₊˚ ・₊✧♡₊˚ ・₊✧ ♡₊˚ ・₊✧♡₊˚ ・₊✧

B he’s my dads best friend i have a thing for he used to be a teacher he’s 33 an i am borderline obsessed with him rn ( i don’t know how long this will last lol)

he’s cuts trees down an he smokes weed an has a pool an lives in his mom and dads basement 🧍🏻‍♀️

[wlwhq]

hey all!! under the cut are some wanted plots for each of my muses, shoot me an im or like this if any of these are calling your name and id be happy to plot something out with ya! <3

(ps everyone's a sapphic below so give me all your sapphics plz)

soleil. late 20s. baker. jasm.in savoy brown fc. switch.

fwb where your muse is getting attached and soleil is being distantly distant as per usual

someone else in the baking/cooking/restaurant industry where they could work together??

mikayla. mid/late 20s. interior designer. saman.tha logan fc. top.

little sister's best friend ship for the angst of a secret relationship

rich well off milf for mick to work for in designing a new mansion

nora. mid 50s/early 60s. lawyer. julia lou.is dreyfus fc. top.

law student/maybe a law professor if we lean into the collegiate territory (insert crazy eyes here)

anywhere where she can be a sug.ar mommy please !!

mariana. late 30s. er doctor. americ.a ferrera fc. switch.

FELLOW DOCTORS/INTERNS/NURSES/PLZ.........

someone to help her lighten tf up

samantha. late 30s. defense attorney. sara.h snook fc. switch.

fellow older woman who can take her on a sexual Journey of discovery

another lawyer at her firm, so there can be Late Nights Working...

maggie. early 30s. dancer. ari.ana deb.ose fc. bottom.

i have a spider-woman verse pls dont let it go to waste...give me your super villains and your drastically angsty anti-heroes she will love them

also a verse with her as a backup dancer for a famous performer, touring together....it could get ga.y

rowan. early 30s. paramedic. er fi.ghtmaster fc. top.

older sibling's wife. imagine the side eyes emoji here

old ex from college that can't resist the Energy!! & hooking up

darcy. late 30s. restaurant owner. katie mc.grath fc. switch.

regular at her restaurant that's always trying to be flirty and darcy finally giving in

food blogger/food critic that's always hanging around or stopping by bc can't get enough of the food or of darce

violet. early/mid 30s. speech language pathologist. tat.iana mas.lany fc. switch.

bc vi works with a lot of kids, maybe give me your single moms??? please???

older friend of her dads who she thinks is hot pfft

georgia. late 30s. executive chef. nata.sia demetriou fc. switch.

another chef at her restaurant who she has a love/hate relationship with and refuses to give the time of day

former therapist who worked georgia through all of her shit a decade ago and now they're friends/casual??

destiny. early 30s. therapist. quin.ta bruns.on fc. bottom.

give her someone to simp over my god she's probably the softest out of my muses

grad school bestie that maybe they would occasionally hook up? and don't talk about it so they don't ruin the friendship?

syd. mid 20s. tattoo artist. kehla.ni fc. top.

tattoo clients/fwb!! she'll accept payment in head

someone they used to cam for regularly

cole. early 20s. barista. liv hewson fc. switch.

someone they look up to (professor, coworker, counselor) that understands the they/them experience

current girlfriend who goes on a cross-country road trip with them in a bid to get out of their small town and start Living

evie. mid 30s. florist. taylo.r swif.t fc. bottom.

acquantaince of her mom that she's seeing on the low low

someone who doesn't give a shit that she comes from money and doesn't care who she is (that would make her so !!!)

aurora. early 50s. tech ceo. hann.ah wadd.ingham fc. top.

i cannot stress enough how much of a sugar mom.my she is. please.

fellow mil.fs to form a mil.f alliance with

nadja. 500+. vampire badass. nat.asia deme.triou fc. switch. canon character from wwdits

LESBIAN VAMPIRE POLYCULE PLEASE!!!

also if any of y'all write as the guide i will cry

disclaimer that nadja is just a test muse of mine and i might be bad at her so PLZ

[winns-stuff]

It really annoys me how much RS and the fandom are so blind to Hades' flaws and use him as an example of "guy who hates everyone except his wife" when he's nothing but a jerk who has zero charm. The way the comic calls him out on being an asshole to everyone around him but he was so nice to Persephone since the start, with Thanatos going "where has this Hades been all along" only for RS to never have Hades face any consequences for his actions. I would have honestly love to see Hades deal with people cutting ties with him because they had enough of his attitude. Instead every conflict with him goes "person calls him out - Hades whines about his issues with his dad and his dating life - person admits they are also to blame for the situation and Hades isn't so bad - Hades continues to be a jerk".

The worst is that RS never really gives a really good reason for why Hades acts the way he does. He's a jerk and he abuses his power just because he can. If she had establish that Hades had previous relationships where his ex lovers and friends were only interested in his power and title it would at least make a bit more sense why he acts the way he does, even if it still didn't excuse him mistreating others.

It's hard to feel sympathetic about him feeling lonely and unable to be with someone when it becomes obvious he's to blame for being miserable.

Thank you! I absolutely despise Hades and the way that fandom always puts that son of a bitch on a damn pedestal, it has to be one of the most infuriating and angering things I’ve ever seen in my life.

I agree with you on literally everything and I’ve also thought it was pointless to say that Hades was misunderstood and lonely and was an actual good person when we’ve never actually seen him be a good person at all. I have never seen Hades do anything nice for anyone except Persephone and that’s literally only because he wants to win her over, if you’re an actual good person you should want to do things for people by your own will not some weird ass ulterior motive, that’s not what a nice person does that’s what manipulative people do. Doing something nice or even decent for someone hoping for something in return has never been the definition of a nice person so why are we continuing to characterize Hades like this while he’s literally been doing things for his own gain this whole series.

Also, the whole “i’m misunderstood and actually very lonely” trope is used so incorrectly here. Listen, I enjoy it when creators use tropes and put their own spins to them because if it’s done right it could be very interesting and really make the story flow easier, but this is literally terrible. You can’t just say everyone is wrong about Hades and everything’s taken out of context when we have chapters of him abusing and firing employees for no reason, humiliating and verbally abusing Thanatos also for no reason, cheating with his sister in law on his own brother just because, torturing someone on behalf of a person he’s barely even known whilst he has a girlfriend. There’s plenty of valid reasons that you yourself have shown the readers about why Hades has that disgusting reputation in the first place and you’ve never fleshed him out enough in order to grow the fuck up and actually start treating people decently.

Speaking of Hades ripping someone’s eye out for Persephone, first off it was always a disgusting thing because he literally tortured a guy so much he was hospitalized and traumatized terribly. Honestly I wish Alex was less annoyed and more scared, of course Rachel couldn’t draw him like that because everyone would be uncomfortable with what Hades did, which they should’ve been in the first place honestly. But when you think about it, he probably never did the same for Minthe and she needed it way more than Persephone did. I mean honestly if Persephone just explained that Artemis left Persephone at the party and Eros got her drunk and stuffed her in Hades’ car they probably would’ve understood and took it down immediately which would’ve been better than Hades handling everything. But when we see Minthe being insulted and discriminated against Hades has no reaction or response, Minthe constantly had to take the abuse that his family unnecessarily brought to her and he never did shit about it. He cares less about his girlfriend of probably years than he does about Persephone which he met literally three days ago.

Another thing that upsets me is the way fans justify all of this. I’ve seen many people say things like “Hades must’ve had a reason to be upset!!! He’s never gotten actually angry at people before!!! He likes screwing around with people but he never means it!!”, let me let you in on a secret. Hades is always angry and when he’s angry he always means it otherwise he wouldn’t be angry. What do you mean he likes to fuck with people? This guy never lets the act down if that’s the case, we never hear Hades joking around with employees and taking back/apologizing for being rude mainly because he means it all the time. He abuses people, he is literally an abuser himself and everyone around him enables that abusive behavior. I feel like people let it slide because “at least he doesn’t treat Persephone that way!!” but that’s literally the bare minimum and I genuinely don’t think that’s gonna stand for very long either because like I said before he is an abusive person and he doesn’t care about anything or anyone except for himself and once he gets tired of Persephone he’s going to start seeing her as unworthy or replaceable just like what happened to Minthe. This type of person doesn’t just stop being a disturbing person just because they’ve added one more person to their collection he keeps adding them because it’s a pattern, they never stop until you’re aware that you have them in the first place.

Last thing I wanna say cause this is getting long but I also hate the way that my favorite tropes are being destroyed with this damn webtoon. Do you know how much I love female characters being soft and kind but also not taking shit from anyone??? Do you you know how much I love the whole “opposites attract”, “nice one x mean one”, etc. I love those tropes so much because they hold a very special place in my heart and also because if they’re done right they’re very endearing. But LO takes these tropes and sucks all the soul and joy out of them with the way they write Persephone and Hades, you can’t say that Persephone is the kind one when she’s never did anything nice for anyone and not even for Hades actually. The trope doesn’t even work for her at all, especially the whole badass side of her it also doesn’t work because the comic doesn’t allow her to be an actual badass. Like I’ve said before a lot of Persephone’s “raw” emotions are still supposed to be cutesy and sexy, she could be crying about something serious but she still needs to remain nice to look at which I think is absolutely disgusting. Let the girl cry like a normal person and stop treating her like some doll that’s nothing without their handler. Polar opposites barely count here too because the whole point of polar opposites is to have so many differences yet still share key similarities that bring you together, we can’t have that if Persephone just morphs her personality to fit Hades’ in order to make him happy, there’s no substance there. Also the nice one and mean one… They’re both incredibly evil, there’s nothing inherently good hearted with them ever so that also falls through.

Sorry, last last thing. I wish everyone would stop calling Hades a male wife, the dynamic… No everything about him is not a male wife and he’s not what they stand for at all. Male wives are supposed to be supportive, thoughtful, respectful, and attentive to their partners and partners are supposed to reciprocate that to also show their appreciation. Hades is none of these things, also stop with the Gomez comparisons because I will literally plunge my entire foot in a bucket of lava. Gomez isn’t even on the same level as that guy so there’s not even any room to say any of that. Gomez>>>>>>>>>>>>Hades.