#While we were talking trans stuff

[doedipus]

Progress on emotional well-being is necessarily slow and difficult to gauge a lot of the time, but about a year ago some guys from college reached out saying they wanted to hang out and catch up, and I ended up ghosting them due to being frustrated with life direction stuff, and the other day someone else did roughly the same thing and I handled it without having a panic attack and acting like a jackass, which seems like progress of some kind

[helianthus-hellion]

modern-day house m.d. episode where the patient is transmasc and on T, and after house reads his file he goes in and is reading off prescriptions like "estradiol cream, finasteride, prescription face wash, prescription deodorant... god, it's like you don't even want to be a man!" and the patient says "just because i wanna be a man doesn't mean i have to suffer all the shitty side effects" and house goes "it's all shitty side effects! being a man sucks!" before tossing the file down on the little tray table thing and leaving.

chase and cameron exchange A Look in the room and then while they're walking down the hall cameron's like "we should talk to him about it - maybe he'd be... happier? if he transitioned?" and chase rolls his eyes and is like "just because he thinks being a man sucks doesn't mean he's trans, every guy hates being a man at least some of the time" and then cameron gives him Another, Slightly Alarmed Look

we cut to house and wilson and wilson's looking at him like he's insane, going "so you... told the patient that being a man sucks?" and house laughs and says "sure did! i wanna know which will take longer - cameron coming to me concerned about my gender, or chase realizing he should be concerned about his gender. her gender? eh, probably easier to just stick with 'his' for now." wilson accuses him of being a sociopath and house looks fake-wounded and says "you know, if i am a sociopath, you're being ableist by attributing my cruel actions to my sociopathy, and if i'm not a sociopath then it's even worse that you're accusing me of being one just because i'm mean."

cuddy approaches house later and tells him that she heard about what he told the patient, and she is required both to make him take sensitivity training and also to provide him resources on transitioning if he wants to pursue that. house asks if him being a woman would make cuddy bisexual, and she raises and eyebrow and says "that ship sailed long ago" and doesn't elaborate on whether she means she isn't into house anymore so it doesn't matter or that she already is bi. house starts cyberstalking her to try to figure out if she slept with any of the women she's friends with on facebook. the team comes in to tell him about a new symptom and he shows them a photo of cuddy from college with a hot girl at a halloween party and is like "do you think they ever fucked? i think they fucked. even if they didn't, i'm gonna imagine they did." foreman tries to get them back on track but chase leans in to get a better look at the photo and it turns out to be wilson in a costume. there's an awkward beat of silence before cameron goes "SO, back to the patient!" and house makes a sort of dismissive "huh? oh, yeah, go test him for [whatever]" while staring intently at the photo.

he confronts wilson about the photo, wilson admits it's him, house starts by going "oh, yeah, but i'm the one having a gender crisis" but accidentally says "sexuality crisis" instead and wilson is like "house do you... do you think i'm hot in that photo?" and then we cut to chase asking cameron if she thinks he could pull off an outfit like that and they discuss it a little while doing a blood draw or LP or whatever. the patient gives them both A Look and is like "you know, you can get wigs and breast forms pretty cheap these days..." and chase is like "hm? oh, yeah i guess one of those costume supply sites would probably have stuff like that huh," and the patient raises his eyebrows at cameron who just shakes her head a tiny bit.

house accuses cuddy of sleeping with his best friend in the clinic lobby and she drags him into her office to ask what the hell he's talking about and he shows her the photo. she's like "yeah, we were at a halloween party together in college, so what?" and house says that wilson makes a really hot chick and asks if that's what awakened cuddy's "bi side," and cuddy just rolls her eyes and tells him to stop projecting his sexuality crisis onto her just because he thinks his best friend is hot. house asks if wilson was at least a good lay and cuddy says "find out for yourself!" before kicking him out of her office again.

house goes back to his office and cameron is pacing outside the door, and she looks nervous when he walks up to her. she follows him into his office and she has clearly prepared A Speech about how if he doesn't like being a man he doesn't have to be, and he doesn't even have to be a woman either, there's options, and it's never too late to transition no matter what people say, and he cuts her off like "yes yes you're very supportive, you clearly aced sensitivity training" and then he has the episode's Epiphany and it turns out that the patient transitioned too early and there was some (largely made-up and not actually backed by irl medical science) complication from starting his transition as a teenager, and the patient is like "oh so you're saying i did this to myself?" and house says "well legally at least, either your parents or the governor of new jersey did it to you - depends on who approved the hormones."

wilson comes up to him at the end and is like "you know, it's okay if you think i'm hot. and it's also okay if you're a woman. if you... ever need any tips on passing as one, i'm happy to help."

the ending is left ambiguous as to house's actual gender identity and, much like the autism episode, it kinda feels like the writers' room was full of heavy debate about whether house should be trans or not. we also never actually circle back to the fact that chase is definitely trans, it never comes up again, and this move pisses off both trans people and allies who wanted it to become A Story Arc and anti-trans people who are mad it even came up in a single episode, absolutely nobody is happy about how they handled that subplot.

[burningcomputerpersona]

sad summer fest is not enough i need to watch the wonder years headlining a show nowwww

[terramythos]

So when I was in middle school and realized I'm not straight I remember feeling so alienated in public discourse because gay people were treated as a culture war talking point. and we would have literal school assignment debates in class on whether people like me should have rights. Very few people Knew this about me outside a couple friends but it felt like gay people were treated as a theoretical concept and not actual living human beings who could be sitting in the room while non gay people discussed if they should be allowed to live. I would go online and see such undisguised virtriol about people like me-- even 'allies' seemed to treat me as a Concept or Political Ideology instead of a person. It's such a bizarre feeling, but as the years went by at least people seemed to see me as a human being who could exist and maybe be in the room while talking about this kind of stuff. The feeling of being An Ambiguously Real But Conceptual Forcibly Politicized Entity slowly went away. So it is nostalgic in the absolute worst fucking way possible to be trans right now and feeling the exact same thing I felt back then.

[luckyladylily]

So like, transandrophobia.

To start this out, I am a trans woman, been around in the queer community for a while. I'm also bisexuality, polyamorous, disabled, and aromantic, and I think these other parts of my identity and the crap I've caught over the years for them heavily informs how I analyze something like transandrophobia. My wife is also asexual, so that plays a part in it too.

So every group of marginalized people has their own unique experiences and problems. It's more of a rule than something we've mathematically demonstrated, but as far as these things go it's ridiculously well established, and personally every time I've done even a basic dive into the issues faced by a marginalized group it's been self evident. I could easily list a dozen groups ranging from racial minorities to different kinds of disabled people to different queer identities and analyze their social issues but let's be real, this is pretty well established theory, anyone who needs me to do that is not really interacting with good faith. This is one of the big reasons we talk to people about their own experiences and groups, we cannot reasonably extrapolate the experiences of others from our own.

So like trans men and trans mascs and anyone else that falls under that umbrella has their unique experiences. The idea that we would even question this is weird to me? Like I can't even imagine the kind of evidence someone would need to present to me to change my mind, and given the pattern of the queer community to be shitty in exactly this way to people in our community, yeah that is not happening.

Therefore, we are taking it for granted that the trans men/masc/related umbrella has their own things going on like everyone else ever, and I don't understand how someone acting in good faith can try to claim otherwise unless they are young or otherwise very inexperienced with such things.

The next point of contention seems to be the name, and I gotta be real I don't care and I don't understand why other people do. I've read all sorts of arguments against the word transandrophobia and the majority of them seem to be rooted in a misunderstanding of intersectionality, and even then it's like there is such a thing where people get so mired in theory that they miss the forest for the trees.

Perhaps more important to me, getting overly worked up about something as unimportant as the precise term is... weird. Like exclusionists hating on bi and ace people weird. I remember what it was like a decade ago when exclusionists were trying to police the words of bi women, and five years ago when ace and aro people were under constant attack under the pretense that our language was harmful for some reason or other. You are going to have to work very, very, very hard to convince me that any bickering over language as it relates to transandrophobia is not just more of the same.

Next, "transandrobros hate trans femmes" and similar stuff. I've seen the callout posts and found them completely unconvincing. Again, they read a lot like the old "ace people hate lesbians!" posts I used to see. I'm not convinced that the individuals involved were a problem, I am certainly not able to extrapolate a problem to the rest of the group.

Finally, there is this idea that "maleness is not a vector for oppression" and this invalidates something about the whole transandrophobia thing, ranging from the entire concept of trans men experiencing prejudice to something about language being imprecise all the way to "This is fascist shit, omg these people are basically nazis" depending on who says it. I'm not going to touch any of that and just look at the underlying logic.

This is based off a misunderstanding of intersectionality theory. Many people think of intersectionality as defining intersecting prejudice, like a ven diagram, such that transmisogyny is the intersection of transphobia and misogyny. This is incorrect. Intersectionality defines unique prejudice experienced by people with intersecting identities. Instead of a transmisogyny as the overlap of transphobia and misogyny, imagine adding a third circle that overlaps both but also has its own areas covered by neither.

Applied to transandrophobia, even if we assume maleness is not a vector for oppression, there is no reason to assume that the intersection of maleness with a marginalized identity doesn't result in new issues. Imagine that 3 circle venn diagram that represents misogyny, transphobia, and transmisogyny. Even if you remove the misogyny circle there is still plenty of ground covered by the transmisogyny circle.

This just isn't a valid criticism. It is a pure theory approach based on a flawed reading of theory.

So in summary:

Everyone has their unique shit going on and I've seen no convincing evidence that trans men, mascs, etc. Are the exception.

I not seen any convincing argument that the word itself is bad.

I've not seen any convincing evidence that there is some epidemic of transandrophobia truthers hating and harassing trans femmes on scales higher than normal background queer infighting.

The most coherent objection to transandrophobia I've seen is categorically incorrect and based on a fundamental misunderstanding of intersectionality theory.

I would like to remind everyone at this point I am a trans woman, part of the group that is supposedly a problem for and I've just not see it at all, to the point where it is kind of weird how intensely some people are pushing this.

I'm not trying to be mean or whatever, I'm sure the distress on display here comes from a real place and real trauma, but I've yet to see anything that makes me think there is substance to the objections to transandrophobia as a concept. It feels and reads like the latest round of queer intracommunity exclusionism, and the fact that this time around I'm not one of the target identities doesn't change that for me.

[shineemoon]

241113 Taemin bbl live (© trans: xtmtaemin)

During our trainee days, Jonghyun hyung and I often go home together. After we’re done with training, he’ll say ‘let’s go’ and I was like ‘ok hyung!’, or he’ll say ‘Taemin let’s practice some more!’ and I’ll also go ‘yes hyung’. We’re always practicing together and leave together. If we go to Dongdaemun together, hyung oftens buy me delicious food. Infinite refill fishcakes~ the soup~ you can get it for 1000won. Back then there are lots of street stalls on the streets back then. It’s really delicious in winter. Wearing our school uniforms, eating while it’s steamy hot~ we sometimes have gamjatang too. On autumn, we ate bungeopang (carp shaped bread) and pulbang (in cast baked bread) and we often said like ‘let’s do this together’ ‘let’s make this happen together’. We had lots of dreams. Back then, there’s this show called ‘Yashimmanman’, back then there are shows like x-man and Yashimmanman. I think I’m talking about this for the first time. After eating bungeopang, we encountered really scary guys. We are really young back then and those hyungs look really scary. We happened to lock eyes and the scary guys were like ‘hey come here!’, I am so flustered but (Jonghyun) hyung wasn’t even bothered and is standing proudly. Hyung was like ‘what’s with you?’. It seems as we can just pass by them but we just had to pass by a dark alley and there are 3 more big guys there. We (Jonghyun hyung and I) locked eyes and thought ‘we’re in deep trouble, do we just run away?’ We got lots of our stuffs stolen, like ipod? Mp3? We don’t even have that much money. I almost got my ipod stolen, the guys were like ‘let me see! give it to me!’ and then Jonghyun hyung prevents it from happening. Back then, shoes are kinda valuable, the Nike Air Force shoes. Jonghyun hyung said ‘take this instead and don’t touch the younger ones’ belongings’ and then went home barefooted. To us, that was such a frightening moment back then. Well at least it is to me since we are so young. As I walk home with hyung who’s barefooted, I spoke informally ‘hyung, what do we do? what are we going to do?’ Jonghyun hyung just laughed loudly and said ‘it’s ok! my house is close HAHAHA let’s talk about this when we appeared on Yashimmanman, we got one story to tell now!’ He laughed real hard as he said it. The bottom of his feet must be wet since it was also raining then and the floor is wet. As I remember, hyung still needs to walk and hike a distance, he protected me and went home, hahahoho (laugh) and then talked about it again as we meet the next day in the practice room. There’s this kind of memory too. It’s interesting right? Did I talk about it for the first time? Or have you heard of this before? Anyways, that’s that. He’s a mate who always goes home together with me.

[macbethz]

AITA for accidentally kidnapping my best friend after making her daughter transgender?

I (?M-ish) was recently reunited with my best friend (53F) after many years apart. I'm kind of a free spirit and like to travel while living out of my car. She came with me for a bit (PURELY PLATONIC), but we got to a point where I realized we were so mixed up in each other it would kill us and we had to part ways. I kind of assumed she forgot about me and kept traveling and doing my thing. During that time apart I had a bit of a gender crisis and spent a few years living as a woman, which was an amazing experience but I ended up identifying with masculinity again anyway, so I looked pretty much the same as when we separated.

So I accidentally ended up back in her orbit and learned that, while we weren't talking, she ended up settling down and raising a family, including a lovely daughter (15F-ish). Her daughter is trans, which I only mention because it's relevant to the story. It turns out that my gender fuckery may have rubbed off on my friend a little, because her daughter is EERILY similar to me and even chose a name for herself from my past. My friend was not super educated on gender stuff before we met so its likely her daughter wouldn't have realized who she was if her mother and I hadn't codependently merged into the same person for a bit on our travels. Her whole family is super supportive but her grandmother (my friend's mother) kind of blames me both for putting her daughter's life at risk during our travels and getting her granddaughter bullied. She thinks if I hadn't been involved, her granddaughter wouldn't have realized who she was until she was in a more accepting place in life I guess? She also blames me because my friend donated a TON of money to charity in my name and the whole family is now struggling financially.

Anyway, we reunited and it ended up being super sweet. We decided to go for one last mini adventure in my car/house and visit her grandfather who I also used to be close with. She and her family made me swear up and down that we were JUST going to his house and nowhere else, but then she spilled some coffee on the console and we dematerialized to a random point in spacetime :/

[omgshiftercat]

I have a friend whose ex, a minor celebrity in some circles, was abusive.

Shortly after she and some other women went public about it, there were some people who chimed in talking about other misdeeds of his.

Her ex was, and is, a loathsome waste of oxygen, and the words, "...who deserves every accusation leveled at him" would almost escape my lips...

...Except that some of the accusations people began throwing around because they (understandably) hated this guy weren't true.

This did not help my friend at all! It muddied the waters, and gave her awful ex ammunition for his claims that people were just out to get him, and were willing to make stuff up to smear him.

Switching gears: there's been a lot of discussion recently about how some brilliant and influential art has been created by objectively terrible people. Part of that discussion has been calling out people who say, "Their work always sucked," or "I never liked it." Not only are statements like this unhelpful, they provide cover for predators. If you insist that your tastes reflect your morality, you're giving yourself a huge blind spot, and making it easy to dismiss evidence of harm done by creators you happen to like.

This is one reason why I think exhibits like this one are important: they help teach that lesson.

Three notes on this: 1. by the time of that exhibition, Gill was long dead and therefore unable to profit from it.

2. This kind of thing isn't necessary for every artist, because not every creator does heinous things.

3. My friend's ex is nowhere near the artistic league of Eric Gill or any of the other creators I'll discuss.

Switching gears again...

If someone mentions a bespectacled British boy wizard with an owl familiar, in a modern setting with "secret world" magic, the name that springs to mind is most likely "Harry Potter", right?

But Timothy Hunter, from The Books of Magic, was published a full seven years before that. I was working in a bookstore when the novelizations for the BoM comics came out, and had to tell kids that no, this was not a HP rip-off.

I don't think the reverse was true, either: for one thing, The Books of Magic is set in the DC Universe, and I've never heard of JKR reading superhero comics. But also... sometimes completely separate creators will come up with strikingly similar ideas, utterly by coincidence. It's one reason why most authors tell fans NOT to send them ideas or fanfiction based on their work: there is rarely any good way to prove that you didn't steal a concept.

Now, obviously every creator is influenced by other people's works, and I completely agree that it's good to acknowledge that and to point fans towards your influences!

When Rowling began channeling her resources into making life worse for trans folk, I saw a lot of people saying, "Well, Harry Potter was just a mediocre rip-off of The Worst Witch anyway."

While I haven't read that series, I strongly doubt this claim. The idea of magic schools is older and more widespread than either of those series, and "British boarding school hijinks, but it's a magic school" was bound to be written more than once.

Now, some of you already know, and others have looked up, who originally wrote Tim Hunter. And... yeah, it's Neil Gaiman. *sigh*

In the last few days, I've seen some people saying, "The Sandman ripped off Tanith Lee's Tales from the Flat Earth." They cite a number of similarities: Azhrarn, the Lord of Darkness, is a pale-skinned, raven-haired Byronic figure with a sibling-like relationship to the Lord of Death and the Lord of Madness. Like the Endless, these beings are god-like, but specifically not gods. Apparently some people have mistaken fanart of Azhrarn for Morpheus. And Chuz, Prince Madness, has a bisected appearance, half his face horribly messed up, like the demoness Mazikeen.

But speaking as someone who was a fan of the late Tanith Lee years before I picked up an issue of The Sandman: I don't believe the latter was stolen from the former. Are there similarities? Yes, but they're superficial. If you've read both series, as I have, you'll know that the stories, settings, and characters are very different!

It's possible Gaiman was influenced by Lee's writing, and if so, I agree he should have acknowledged that. He did promote the work of other female creators, which is one reason why many of us thought he was "one of the good ones". But it's also entirely possible that these two authors independently came up with similar ideas.

When it comes right down to it, I think that statements like this -- "their best work was just a rip-off of something else" -- are just another variant of "their work always sucked".

It's often an easier accusation than "they've always been crap", because, as I said, writers come up with strikingly similar concepts all the time, and it's very hard to prove you didn't steal an idea. But it has the same problems, so -- barring the kind of case you could make with a college-level plagiarism-catching program -- I think it's best avoided.

Now, telling people, "Hey, are you sad about this creator turning out to be an awful person to whom you don't want to give any more money? Try this other person's work instead!" This is good! Let's have more of it!

Addendum 1: I think "separate the art from the artist" should mean, "you don't have to treat books already on your shelf as if they're suddenly coated in poison", not "I'm going to ignore this creator's actions and keep buying their products anyway."

Addendum 2: I just posted a version of this to Bluesky.

[maureenjohnsonbooks]

A friendly hello in an unfriendly time

(The following was the content of my most recent newsletter, which you can get for yourself if you like.)

HELLO FRIENDS So. Um. What a time, huh? Things are not great. I really hope you are doing okay. I went a bit quiet on social media after the election (at least on IG--I am on Bluesky ALL THE TIME). It felt weird to be talking about my own books, so for a few months I didn't. But I was making them! I am currently well into the sixth STEVIE BELL MYSTERY, and I have finished (along with my friend Jay Cooper) a MYSTERY that is coming out in September! It is called You Are the Detective: The Creeping Hand Murder. The book is a dossier, a collection of documents and pictures. You are the detective and Scotland Yard has handed YOU the case file. You have to solve the mystery. When you think you have the answer, you open a SEALED ENVELOPE IN THE BACK WITH THE SOLUTION.

Here is a Proof of Life pic of us working on page proofs:

Working on this side by side on art and design to put together a GREAT MYSTERY has been amazing. It looks REALLY, REALLY GOOD. I cannot wait to show it to you.

MORE BOOK STUFF. I am thrilled beyond belief say that Death at Morning Househas been nominated for an Edgar Award by the Mystery Writers of America. As a mystery person, this is very meaningful to me. I don't know if I will get that little Poe head, but I'm just happy to be invited. Death at Morning House is a story about a few things that are relevant right now. It's about how our American past informs our American present, which is currently a tire fire. Our history isn't buried that deep. It's just that people don't want to acknowledge it, and they don't want you acknowledging it either. They will take every book out of the library rather than let history be told. A few things in the book that are ringing some bells right now. Two things I knew about while writing it and one I did not. 1. America's history with eugenics. Whoooo. We loved eugenics and Nazism (the literal kind) was WAY TOO POPULAR. We need to know this history--and this is the story book banners are trying to retell or erase. The backstory of the book involves a family, the Ralstons, who are regarded as the ideal American family. Look at them! They are rich! They wear matching outfits and live in a mansion! And they love eugenics! (Well, some of them do.) In creating the Ralstons, I kept things very close to historical reality. I actually had to tone things down for the book because the reality would have become so overwhelming that the story would tilt off balance. But we built a lot of things on the back of eugenics and racism and those things cannot stand.

2. Queer joy is important and needs to be front and center! Marlowe, the main character in Death at Morning House, is proudly and cheerfully queer and in love! She is romantic! And sure, her timing isn't always great, but love will prevail! Affirm queer lives. Protect trans kids. Never, ever, ever back down from this. 3. Canada is our friend. This one, I didn't see coming. I didn't think we were going to get into a TRADE WAR WITH CANADA because I don't drink bleach and hallucinate weird events. Ralston Island is on the imaginary line that squiggles through the St. Lawrence River that separates America and Canada. We are intertwined. WE LOVE CANADA. (Bonus fact: my grandfather was Canadian. He was born in British Columbia, in Nanaimo, and my aunt there made the best Nanaimo bars. If you have never had one, don't sleep on this. Try one now. Here are dairy and vegan versions. GO CANADA!) Whether you read my books or not--reading ANY books, supporting libraries, talking about books, sharing books--THAT IS WHAT IS IMPORTANT. Use your library. It really, really helps them to get footfall. Ask the librarian how they are doing. Aside from books (though books will help you through just about anything), I wanted to recommend a few silly and life-affirming things I enjoy. Just some stuff you can watch or listen to that are a guaranteed GOOD TIME. 1. I'm a recent and massive fan of Watcher TV, specifically Shane and Ryan (who used to do Buzzfeed Unsolved). They have a few shows out there, but I am going to recommend Puppet History, which is spectacular. You can get started maybe with this episode on the straw hat riot, but they are all funny. MAKE SURE TO WATCH THE SONGS. 2. I'm a long time fan of The Dollop history podcast, which is a comedy podcast that gets very, very real! But is also comedy? They get into the reality of American history and talk about a lot of the things I mentioned above. But they also have some absolute classics that are just VERY FUNNY. A quick playlist of pure absurdity: the Egg Nog Riot, the 1908 New York to Paris Car Race, and Action Park. 3. I can't speak highly enough of Anxious People, which you can watch on Netflix. A mysterious person runs into an open house apartment viewing and takes a group of people hostage--then vanishes? And no one saw a thing? This locked room mystery turns into something magical and will reaffirm your faith in other people. IT'S SO GOOD. 4. Two UK shows that own my heart (well, many do, but these will fix you): Ghosts and Ludwig. (Note: NOT the Ghosts on CBS. I am strict about this.) You can see Ghosts some US streaming services, but come closer...I will whisper something to you...*looks around*...you can get into BBC iPlayer by using a VPN and then entering some random UK post code and saying that you have a TV license. They won't come after you. You may have to try a few VPNs but one will work. Using this method, you can also watch Channel 4 online. GET YOURSELF SOME UK COMEDY. UK, WE NEED YOU. 5. If I only have three minutes to dispel the vapors I watch this. If I have five, I do a Murdle. If I have ten, I do this thing where you look at art for ten minutes. If I have fifteen I play Splendor Duel on board game arena. Whenever you are, whatever is going on, I hope you are okay. Remember, the answer has always been and will always be taking care of each other. None of this is easy. With love, I remain, Maureen Johnson, author

[hexhomos]

Maybe I’m that one oomf that’s too woke, but I have a feeling that people being weird about jayvik is a sign of Bad Things on the rise =/ I’m old as balls and I’ve been in fandom spaces since late 2000s, and I’ve never seen people act so hostile towards a fanon mlm ship. I mean precisely in women and queer dominated fandom spaces, dudebros never change, whatever. And of course there were always ship wars. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen people act so oppressed over being into het ships, crash out over their ships not being endgame and demand from fandom content creators to accommodate them. What is happening.

I think this started happening around 2023~ to be more precise bc that's when i started getting weird ass entitled comments on OTHER gay ships. IMHO the real issue here is that we are going through fandom clash with a newgen that did not experience early internet and they take the gayness in fandom spaces completely for granted. As in, they think these little niche holes we've built are the de facto 'effortless norm' and minimize the work that's been done to create these safe spaces. This is the kind of rhetoric i keep seeing pop up:

Many of them have also grown up almost exclusively interacting with art created by old fandom graduates where queerness is presented casually. They're not watching shit from the 90's or 00's. They're not adults, so they don't have a personal contrast experience seeing that 'rep' dwindling consistently over the years. They don't remember a time before this and don't know how bad it was.

OFC there are always old ass conservative weirdos riding on this wave to be even more annoying (certain infamous viktor stan accs... lol!) but #backtotradition rightwing bullshit has been on the rise worldwide, and so are the viral tiktok tradwife alphamale detransition white supremacy grifters. Its a larger cultural problem feeding into the micro stuff we see daily and it's terrible. It's also why I tune this shit out and I stand my ground. I'll draw what I WANT to draw and I'm not going to be twisting myself into pretzel shapes to appeal to anyone and everyone; go get YOUR shit elsewhere!

I *do* think people have been getting way more entitled towards fanworks, and that comes with a heightened level of apathy. You can notice this on the decreased number and quality of feedback across twitter, as an example (seeing as that place has been consumed by the conservative grifter wave) but it's also been reported by every fic writer who's consistently used AO3 for years. Tags on tumblr aren't as widely used. The focus on 'community' has been replaced by 'DOES THIS MAXIMIZE ENGAGEMENT?'. I know from personal experience that there is this one specific asshole who, for almost a year now, has been trawling the trans viktor tag and leaving insanely long transphobic critique comments on works of newer writers to discourage them from writing. (They are always on the cusp of open violent transphobia, but shittily cloaked as 'debates' on ~natural biology~ and fantasy logic so they don't get banned. If you've seen the ao3 pfp of a smirking white haired woman before you know who im talking about.)

Things have been Bad and on the Rise for a while now. Look at the current shit on the news. Look at the presidencies around the world. And it's going to get worse before it gets better, because it always does; that's what forces people to wake up. Be annoying. Be watchful. Don't waste your time platforming or debating weirdos that should be left to die on obscurity - this is how trump got a memeable platform, and look at where we are now. Protect your peace.

[doberbutts]

you don't actually get to cry "ally yourself with trans women" while actively talking over trans women whose traumatic experiences with transmisogyny are wildly ignored in favor of how hard transmisogyny is on the cis women. like why don't trans women get to say privilege plays into how much transmisogyny affects people?

do we not characterize white privilege as being what protects white americans from the systematic racism that permeates the US?

again, what is the preferred way you would have us refer to that privilege? because I am right here telling you that privilege is a part of the construct of tme/tma but you don't really care that trans women are more affected.

like it's crazy that you seem to think my problem is with the transvestigation playing out against a cis woman and not the way everyone pays attention when it happens to cis women but ignores the rampant transmisogyny when it happens to a trans woman. like you don't even pause to look at why there were no trans women at the olympics to transvestigate in the first place so they turned to the next marginalized option, intersex and women of color, when discussing how trans women deserve better.

Hi I'm the trans woman I deserve better from you specifically

To be completely honest this is looking less and less like a good faith discussion and more and more like you simply accusing me of stuff I didn't say.

You say I am actively talking over trans women. How so? How is "we need to address transmisogyny at its root if we want things to be better" ignoring the plight of trans women?

How is it that I have *repeatedly* acknowledged that there is privilege there, and yet apparently I am ignoring it?

if you want to use the race example: white privilege exists. Racism also affects white people. If white people want to stop being affected by racism (welfare regulations, the war on drugs, low income housing, social programs for community aid, to name a few) then maybe they should ally themselves with people of color because the root of what's causing issues with these things is racism. That doesn't mean white privilege doesn't exist just because a system of oppression affects everyone under said system. It doesn't even mean that the primary target has changed. It's just what makes this a system rather than an individual occurrence.

Never once have I said that cis women are more affected and, in fact, in followup posts I have stated that it *is* quite annoying that people have only been talking about this because this year's Olympics included approximately 0 out trans women. I have been saying that this was the clear end result, once they were rid of the trans women they'd go for whatever cis women they could feasibly get away with, and this time it seems they overplayed their hand.

Castor Semenya is a cis woman who only found out that she is intersex due to being transvestigated. She is, by definition, TME. Except she's not, is she, considering the same rules that apply to trans women apply to her. That's why I brought her up! And- correct me if I'm wrong- but out trans women still competed after she was forced to leave the Olympic running. That is why I'm saying that things maybe are not quite so clear cut as "have" and "have not", because I can point to an example of someone that the definition labels as "has privilege" that according to Olympic ruling bodies no longer counts as a woman either despite being afab TME cis.

If you want to continue to put words in my mouth, then we're out of things to say to each other, and it becomes clear that this was never intended to be a good faith discussion in the first place.

[genderkoolaid]

I hate how sometimes as a transmasc guy I feel like I'm betraying the cause kind of. Like I end up feeling awkward about stuff that's supposed to be great for women because it's not for me anymore.

Most recent time came when I stumbled upon some reddit drama over women only parking spaces which are in better lit areas close to the exit. I don't want to side with the "I guess I'll identify as a woman for ten minutes while I park" types but sometimes I feel like I'm forced to shove myself back into the woman box if I want that safety.

Also the many "girls in STEM" opportunities. Like it's good that they're there, but I hate having to either feel really uncomfortable but still get the opportunity or try and navigate that world how a man would while I still look and sound like a cis woman.

Also this one orchestra I'm in, where a while ago we were trying to pick a composer to commission, and the director noted that he decided not to put any white male composers on the recommended shortlist. Again, I get where he's coming from, but then I worry that once I transition I'll be just another white male. Maybe that would net me some opportunities if I pass well, but it hurts a bit knowing that in some people's eyes I'll fade into the boring grey amalgamation of suits and ties oppressing everyone else.

I think this is a pretty common experience.

This is what happens when feminism fails trans men & other gender-oppressed people who are not women. Cisfeminism in general forces trans people to fight over who gets to count as a woman & therefore be deserving of feminist support, because the feminist framework being used was never made for us. The fact that trans people who aren't women- or aren't exclusively women, or are read as cis men- are vulnerable and under-represented goes ignored & we struggle to have our voices heard.

Its also part of the harmful ways trans men are expected to act in order to have our identities respected. We are expected to pass, go stealth (or at least not bring up being trans "too much"), and never talk about how our experiences differ from those of cis men. Nonbinary & genderqueer transmascs are expected to either dissociate themselves from men or never talk about being NB/GQ. We are told we are othering ourselves when we point out that groups in which cis men are heavily represented have never featured trans men to any remotely similar extent. It sucks and its part of "affirming" transmasc erasure: instead of being erased through misgendering, we are erased by having our transness ignored so no one actually has to confront societal & individual bigotry against trans-men.

[centrally-unplanned]

Oh I did wanna log the thought: since Trump's campaign was so often vague and contradictory on its agenda, there was an uncertainty around what his administration would actually be. "Soft" and "hard" versions abounded in the take market. Now that we have the EO's, what does that suggest?

I think it is pretty bad, I would rank these as 80 percentile on a soft-to-hard scale. He was talked off the ledge on the maximal tariff stuff, it looks like - he is still gonna do some, which will suck, but I think the smart money is not on "20% tarifffs on every import" and they do look more like bargaining tactics now on some cases like the Canada/Mexico ones. On trade & economics we didn't get anything too crazy.

On everything else each thing was just...20% more extreme than expected. Pardoning everyone he could from 1/6, including those who attacked polices officers, that is cold. Trying to remove birthright citizenship for legal immigrants, everyone expect the illegal side but damn. The trans rights EO is "complete", it isn't a "get rid of this DEI stuff/preserve women's spaces" thing, it is categorical in its denial of existence. I think the "tech right" is currently pretty worried about their talented immigrant hires given how restrictive the situation looks to become. Almost every EO was expected, but more than half had something that was like "oh shit they went there".

I saw someone (Noah Smith I think) comment that it is a little ironic that "The Resistance" spent itself during Trump's first term when he was, until 2020 at least (very important caveat), pretty much in practice a normal Republican with an incompetence/trolling streak. Now they are burned out while the Trump admin they thought they were fighting in 2016 is finally here, ready to wreck shop in 2024.

Fortunately early days are always the most heady, we will see how this actually goes. Not a great start though!

[biancadoes1]

The nominees who attended didn't really do press, it wasn't only Nicola who skipped it. There's an account on Twitter of someone who did press there and clarified that a lot of the actors basically walked the carpet and went inside the venue.

Nicola and her team are taking a gamble with the PR with Jake and I don't see it as only a response to the shipping there is more to it than that. People are saying she's stubborn, doubling down, not listening with this and it's not a good look for her. I'm not hating on Nicola, let me just state that upfront. I've looked at the comments across different platforms and the biggest thing I see from fans and GA is disappointment. I have actually seen fans who like her with Jake express their disappointment that she let it be about him and not her achievement. The party was a party not the awards but it nevertheless again moved the conversation away from her work that she says she worked so hard and so long for. Imagine a Jakola agreeing that she shouldn't have walked the carpet with her, like other events he could have stayed away and met up inside. And I agree, I'm not saying he shouldn't attend but if they found ways for her to walk alone then meet inside at other events why not this one?

Also, what fans are seeing is that whether she is with Jake or not, her PR and her persoanlity are getting to be inconsistent and not genuine to fans and some GA. Fans like me who followed Nicola for her other work not only Bridgerton noticed a shift since last year to now. People were glad to see her yesterday, see the recognition for her work, love that she's a badass and is taking on things other actors don't. They see her doing that while being herself.

That's where some fans are stuck - between Nicola as human being, actor and advocate who's doing so much while just being herself as authentic as can be to the Nicola who is then pushing something publicly that goes against what she herself said publicly. There is Nicola who admits to watching trash TV but then is a professional and the Nicola who knows she's already a target in the media and entertainment industry but is leaning into something that will make it a little more difficult for her. Every single article is pointing out that man's age and the wording of the articles, AI or not are casting heavy shade. Like heavy on the shade. It's almost like the press all agreed to show this unconventional woman can only be with an unconventional partner - same shit from last year when this whole thing started. I get that she's doing whatever for PR but wow this is a lot. I will never fully understand it and some of it don't make sense but I also remember don't know them and their game plan.

I don't see it as totally detrimental to her career and she's a person who will never get it right 100% she's just like anyone of us making mistakes. But she's also in a fickle industry, we can say the Bridgerton fandom is loud but small and GA don't care but when she acquires new fans for new projects and the same things happen she is at the risk of eventually being painted in a way that she may or may not like. We've seen things about actors and she is not stranger to it.

My point here is I hope whatever PR gains and losses she is willing to endure, whatever backlash she calculated she will get, is worth it for her. If your TL is mild good for you keep it that way because trust me the gc and spaces are eating her up. Jake too, and Luke who was no where near anything yesterday is catching heat because the PR again with Antonia is something that isn't consistent. They're comparing the two.

For the love of God that damn pap pic of her in the orange cardigan is rearing it's head again and already the talk about her looking drunk and scruffy that time is resurfacing. It's painful to watch and other vile stuff is coming out. They're using those photos as much as the ones from last night to report "her new man". From trans hate last week to now this. We can see her play book and the patterns but it still is a damn shit show.

It’s the biggest fucking mess and I feel like we’ve hit rock bottom tbh.

[homunculus-argument]

Probably dumb question from a trans guy who's struggling with actually physically and socially transitioning. I am a short, skinny, and relatively quiet human, and while I undoubtedly feel myself to be male internally and want my body to reflect that, I feel like nobody would ever take me seriously or find me attractive if I transitioned, or that I don't have what it takes to pass as a man in general due to people relentlessly perceiving me as feminine and female even when I do everything in my power to present otherwise.

I guess I'm just wondering if transitioning is even worth it for me? I'm almost 30, so I've lived as I am a long time, and as much as it makes me miserable and cuts me off from a lot of joy and vitality in life, it's all I know. I *think* I would feel better, have more confidence etc. if people perceived me as who I really feel myself to be, but the thought that there's a lot of people out there who would never accept that, and would rub it in my face that they still see me as something I loathe being seen as, makes me feel pretty hopeless about the whole situation.

No need to answer this if it's too personal a topic or anything, just wanted to run it past you since I admire you quite a bit, and you seem to have a lot of stuff figured out that I'm still working towards.

🐉

You sound pretty confident about it being something you can't be happy without, and honestly, testosterone is a hell of a drug, so even if you won't be astonishingly hot as a guy, you'll still read 100% as male in a couple of years. Look at the before-after pictures and progress timelines of trans men, especially HRT timelines, even the ones who don't end up looking like Kratos from God of War just turn out into completely normal-looking regular guys. There are plenty of short, skinny, and quiet cis men too, and they aren't so rare that normal people meeting you for the first time would start suspecting you to be one of those 1% minority people they've heard about.

I've also had friends who know I'm trans genuinely just forget about it. This one time a friend whom I have known since we were 15 - ten years before I started testosterone - get confused when I mentioned that my gym teacher at the time always wore electric blue mascara. She asked me which teacher was that, and only when I clarified that I was talking about the female gym teacher at my school, did she remember that I was in girls' gym classes. The thought that my school had the most flamboyant drag queen makeup wearing boys' gym teacher felt like a more plausible option than remembering that I was legally classified as a girl in school back when we met.

[pressureplus]

sebby x transmasc reader headcanons? i'm feeling self indulgent today >:)

Whoo, Yeah! I'm finally getting to answer this one! I personally have little to no gender at any point in time, and my lovely Co-Star has all of the gender and fluctuates fairly regularly between the shiny genders they've collected. So this is written from the shared trans braincell, gotta support the homies ✨

(Hope you have a wonderful day!)

Sebastian Solace x Transmasc Reader

[Warnings: Transphobia and misgendering (neither one from Sebby) and mentions of Dysphoria]

◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜

• Honestly, this fish bastard couldn't care less

• Your gender, job, and species are COMPLETELY irrelevant to him, the ONLY thing he really cares about is whether or not you are going to buy his stuff

• His gender? Shopkeeper. Now give him your data-

• If it's not addressed, you are literally just another man that Urbanshade sent on a suicide mission, he really doesn't care what is or is not in your boxers

• Can't stress enough that he's ONLY supportive when you or someone else brings it up, Sebby never pushes the topic. If you didn't know you told him or that he found out, you'd honestly think he didn't know

• Now, are there ways this becomes relevant to him? No, absolutely not, you are just another guy that's going to buy an expensive flashlight and then die several terrible deaths.

• It's not until one of the other expendables starts to misgender you that he even seems to notice

• "She? I don't particularly see any women in my shop at the moment- If you're sick I'm going to have to ask you to leave so we don't catch whatever nasty thing you have."

• "I think you meant 'Him', as in 'I am going to hand Him my gun and look away when He makes you a stain on my tile'. Do you understand me, expendable?"

• "It's funny hearing someone only packing 3 inches try to decide what is and isn't a man. I think we all know his is bigger than yours is, so if you could shut up about it that would be great."

• Sometimes he's more sassy, sometimes more outwardly aggressive, and occasionally he tells someone off in a way that's a bit more on the side of entertaining, but he does always make a point to stick up for you

• If you need your hair cut, he'll do it. He cuts his own hair and has for the last decade, so he's actually pretty good at it! Better at messy styles, but he'll try a clean one if you really want him to

• "If you die because your hair is in your eyes, I won't get your data. You must understand this is to my own benefit, Y/N."

• Sebastian is... Starting to call you by your name. You're not sure when you stopped being an expendable like everyone else and started being the name you actually chose for yourself, but you've surely become different to him

• Sebastian was born a man, and handles issues regarding your situation completely casually unless it 100% HAS to be verbally brought up, so you are left completely confused by what you did to get closer to him like this

• Was it somewhere between him validating you or defending you? Was it when he sat with you for the first or third time while you were wrestling your disphoria? Was it trust, or maybe pity... It couldn't be pity, right?

• One day you'll find out he's sees himself in you

• He says it like a joke when he starts to talk about how they treat you differently when they don't understand you. Researchers treated him the same way a handful of the other people down here treat you.

• He knows it's not quite the same, but it feels the same for him sometimes. When they call him 'it' instead of he... Sometimes he calls himself an 'it' or a 'thing', too even though he knows he hates that. Do you feel that way when they call you a she? He'll just go ahead and start banning those people for you both, he doesn't like them anyway.

• He isn't comfortable in his own body anymore either. He didn't choose what he is now the same way you didn't choose what you were born as

• Sometimes, his body doesn't fit right, either. He hates that he understands that feeling, but he does...

• He's starting to get comfortable with that familiarity, and with maybe not feeling so alone

• Is it wrong of him to enjoy having found someone he can relate to? If even just a little?

• Sebastian knows it's probably awful of him, but he's making a point to be good to you for it

• It makes himself feel better for a while when you can connect like that so naturally...

• It makes him feel human again.