#Which is like. Fine. I guess. But I'd love if there was actual diversity in the food represented or smthn idk.

[trans-leek-cookie]

Listen maybe it's just me and the way Chinese food is viewed versus Japanese food in like. The General American Social Perception or whatever. But the idea of "culturally significant" being equivalent to "fine dining" genuinely is getting on my nerves a bit. This isn't to say there's no Chinese food that's considered fine dining, but rather that the idea feels like it minimalizes how much Culturally Singificant food is in fact like. Casual.

[ladysomething]

this is a bit random but I was wondering if you had any other rpf ships from formula 1 that you like (other than brocedes) that overlap with the drivers making up lestappen.

I’m a big charlos lover and wygig is probably the only lestappen work I really like and that’s 100% because of your amazing writing and nothing else (in terms of finding that driver dynamic alluring) because I’ve been trying to get into lestappen for a while and it just isn’t happening.

I think one of the reasons for this is that in the charlos that I read, Charles plays a very different role and is presented often much more masculinely and assertive and morally grey in comparison to a lot of lestappen. therefore, I feel like it’s difficult for me to shed the perception of him I hold in that ship and move over to lestappen works where his role in relation to max is largely unchanged no matter the AU or scenario.

so that brings me to my question, going through your bookmarks I noticed that you read some Maxiel and some Pierre/charles also, is it difficult for you to perceive the characters of ‘Max’ and ‘Charles’ outside of the traditionally lestappen framework? and when I say traditional I don’t mean things like who bottoms and who tops because it’s very diverse in terms of that but just generally the ‘magnets/opposites attract/one true rival/inexplicable obsession since childhood’ vibe that they seem to have in most fics. or do you largely restrict yourself to lestappen because other dynamics with those drivers are just not as interesting?

unrelated note- loved the latest snippet <3

hm. well I suspect that probably you and I have a very different starting point on this anon, and approach it from fundamentally different points of view. not to say either one of is either correct or incorrect, I just think it's probably not necessarily going to help you get into lestappen.

but I guess I'll tell you my journey, because it might shed some light.

so I got into f1 last year, resisted rpf for a while, eventually decided I'd give it a go, and pretty much just ... went to the highest ranking ship for f1. at the time, it was maxiel, so that's how I ended up there.

I didn't feel a particular draw to maxiel irl, but I adored the fics! some of them were absolutely phenomenal, and even though I didn't/don't ship maxiel, a couple fics have really stuck with me and even define how I write Max in lestappen.

when I went through the entire maxiel tag, I went to the second highest ranking ship: lestappen. now, I confess, I had intended to just do what I did with maxiel, which was consume everything and then move on, but as you can tell .... well. that did not happen.

its from fic that I learnt the lestappen lore, and its how I expanded into my actual interest of the real lestappen friendship. now the reason for this is pretty simple: I love their lore. I love their history. I fucking love the idea that these two guys grew up hating each other, and now have so much respect for each other that they're so weird about it. it's just a dynamic that really scratches an itch for me.

there are certainly other pairings that vaguely interest me: I've dabbled in some max/lewis, some Charles/seb. if I like the setting, then I like the pairing.

but, honestly, it sounds to me that the reason you're not so sure about lestappen (the 'rivals to lovers' aspect, if I've understood your ask correctly) is in fact the very core of it. lestappen authors explore it so much because it's what defines their entire relationship.

but it's not for everyone, and that's totally fine. if you don't see the allure, you don't see the allure. if I'm being honest, I don't see the allure of Charlos at all, but that's for my own reasons and there is no fic I could read or long essay on it that will change my mind.

now, I think what you're also asking me is ... if I see Max as a rival to Charles, can I also see him as having had a boyhood crush on Daniel? and tbh for me, the answer is yes. I don't always agree with characterisations (just as I don't always agree with them inside lestappen either), but I think ... people aren't all things all the time, right? a person can be multiple things at once.

some ships just bring out different sides of people. e.g. Charles is a giggly mess with Max and for some fucking reason says that he wants to win the WDC but not if it means something bad happening to Max, while also at the same time be the person that happily brushes off Lando, while also the same time joke about adopting Oscar, while also at the time wanting to square up against Lewis to prove he's better than him.

the way I would write Charles with Max is very different to the way I would write Charles with .... Lewis, for example, because he feels different things and acts in a different way and has different motivations. it doesn't make him an inherently different character, it just makes the dynamic different.

anyway, I'm not entirely sure I really answered your question tbh, but I hope you got something out of it anyway!

[cepheusgalaxy]

I found this post like 2 hours ago and I think it's really fun so here I go.

❤ - umm... I am genderfluid and south-american, and in my language there aren't many neopronouns or neutral pronouns... in portuguese (my monther-tongue) my pronouns are really fluid, but in english i prefer to use ne/ir/it/they/he/she

🌹 - I'm asexual and neptunicromantic, and probably greyromantic too, I'm not really sure

🍁 - Around 11yo, I guess, when I first though I was a lesbian

🔥 - I guess I feel... freeer. Since I discovered myself as nonbinary, trans and gnc I feel like I can present and be however I want. It is nicer

🧡 - Well, when I first though I was a lesbian, it didn't changed much (I did not even have a style back then), but in the past few months, when I started questioning my gender and started calling myself genderfluid, I haven't got much new stuff yet, but there are so many possibilities, and I wanna try androgynous stuff!

🌼 - Many. So fucking many. First, gynesexual, before lesbian. Because then, "lesbian" didn't felt right, "a girl who loves girls". So I picked gynesexual, which is more like "any person who loves girls and feminine people". Turns out I was right in the first one. I also went though many labels in my gender-questioning phase, like bigender, pangenderflux, paragirl, androgynous and demigender.

💛 - Actually, I'm not sure. I think it was in the pandemy, when I first made a stronger contact with the community (mostly by gacha life videos and netflix movies), and then, after considering myself an ally for a while, I noticed that I liked girls. This was when I went for a new school after pandemy, and I think this change had much impact on how I am nowadays, like, when I went to this new school, as I didn't know anybody, I started learning to draw, to spend time, and now my friends kinda see it like a defining part of myself. A drawer.

☀️ - I don't really think so. Maybe my mom, or social media, showing that there were other people like me, and even more diverse. Perhaps it helped me in some ways.

🌾 - Lol, I don't look like the kind of queer I am, but everybody I first knew could easly tell I liked girls. I look pretty much like a lesbian (😂) even in the days I'm not even a girl

🌱 - I'm not sure. Maybe relieved? Thinking that many things started to make sense? I think it would prevent a huge waste of time.

🍀 - Back when I was around 10yo, I used to look in the mirror and experiment new pronouns. He/she or they/she. One day I would look in the mirror and prefer one, then in the other I'd be like "how could I even think on that, I definitively prefer this one" and then next day I would give up, thinking it was all just silly and keep my she/her only to start it all again. Yea, it took me four more years to notice. Also, back then, I really wanted to fall in love. I had a "potencial love interest list" in my head, some boys I was friends with that lived in the neighbourhood, some kids i would be fine falling in love with. Even, uh, one or two years ago I had a hard time with it (romantic atration), and I only had one (1) crush in a pretty girl once, and then never again. I think it makes way more sense now that I percieve myself as partially aro

💚 - Well, my mum, who is demiace, some friends at school, my brother (omni) and some friends of the family. Not that much but not that few.

🦚 - I'm not a huge fan of movies and stuff, but one I love is "Do Revenge" on netflix (though it is not exavlty about queerness) and the other is Alice jr. Talking about books, I like the pjo universe, A Million of Happy Endings, Felix Ever After and Red, White & Royal Blue. In cartoons, I love The Owl House and She-ra (though i haven't finished it yet). There are many others i like, but they only have a small cast of queer characters, despiste being amazing in my opinion. Like Cassandra Clare books (you may disagree) or A Darker Shade of Magic

💙 - I was the ally kind. I remember hearing about transness and thinking if it would apply to me, but I identified as an allo cishet girl for a pretty long time until my pre-teens

🦋 (i don't have the berries emoji so it's gonna be that) - I really wish I was a femboy, but first I pretty much need a binder, and once, I cut my hair really short and i'm waiting it to grow back

🔮 - I don't have a clear memory about realizing I liked girls. But this definitively was around my 10yo. Also, I remember realizing i was trans while going get ice cream with my siblings, after pandemy. I put on a jacket and a masc shirt someone gave me. I remember wanting to be percieved as a boy so badly, and when I went back home I started to notice cis girla normally don't wish that

💜 - Lesbian, gynesexual and bigender, besides the ones i currently identify as

😈 - very much, thank you

🏳️‍🌈 - I love the genderfluid and the gender-non-conforming flag, and also the ace pride flag. But I don't wear them often.

🏳♀️♂️ - I guess it's the xenogender flag. The prettiest of all. Ot then the Genderintertwined or the Juxera one. OR the multigender one. They are beautiful

🌈 - I don't have much knowledge on queer story yet, but I think some greek myths about queerness should get more atention, like Achiles' or Yacynthus' story. Or that one about Dyonisus (about him being the patron of trans people) - and the story of when Artemys turned a boy into a girl so the kid could be a part of the Hunt. Things like that in all mythologies. And also intersexuality and nonbinary identities. Maybe is because I am nonbinary myself, but i think nonbinary, specially xenogender identities should be represented and recognized more often. Is hard to ask for respect when some people don't even know what nonbinary is, imagine other more complex identities.

Also, I wish a happy pride month for everybody!! 🌈

LGBTQ+/Queer Themed Asks

❤️ - What are your pronouns?

🌹 - What is your Sexuality?

🍁 - When did you first realize you were queer?

🔥 - How has the way you think about yourself changed since you realized you were queer?

🧡 - How has the way you presented yourself (ex. Clothing, hairstyle, etc.) changed since you realized you were queer?

🌼 - If you used any other labels before your current one, what were they?

💛 - Who or what made you realize you were queer?

☀️ - Is there anyone who helped you accept that you were queer? If so, who?

🌾 - How queer do you think you look? Would it be obvious to someone that you were queer if they looked at you?

🌱 - How would your younger self act if your current self told them they were queer?

🍀 - What thoughts or emotions that didn’t make sense to your past self make sense now that you know you’re queer?

💚 - How many queer people do you know irl?

🦚 - Are there any queer books/shows/etc. that you would suggest?

💙 - When you first learned about the Queer community, did you immediately realize ‘That’s me!’ Or did you consider yourself a ‘really good ally’ for some time?

🫐 - Are there ways you wish you could present yourself differently, but can’t?

🔮 - What Was the Moment you Realized you were Queer?

💜 - What Label(s) Have You Identified With for the Longest?

😈 - How Sasitified are you with your current Labels, if you have any?

🏳️‍🌈 - Do you enjoy the colors of your preferred flag? Do you incorporate it into your outfits, decor, etc.?

🏳️‍⚧️ - What Flag do you think has the best color scheme?

🌈 - What's a Queer Identity, Experience or a piece of History you feel deserves more recognition?

Reblog to Join! :D

[mermaidsirennikita]

So You'd Like to Fuck a Villain: Romance Novel Recommendations

Have you gotten caught up in a villain ship? Are you, perhaps, what might be called a villainfucker?

The issue with stanning for villains and wanting them to have romantic love and happiness and possibly group sex, is that they often don't. At least, not onscreen. Some of the most popular romantic ships, obviously, have been villain ships--Reylo spawned a wave of romance novelists (though, I might add, many do not actually write villain-centric romance novels, which is fine), Darklina powered no small part of Shadow and Bone's publishing success... and let's be real, the success of the soon-to-be-ill-fated-from-what-I'm-hearing TV show. On a darker level, Interview with the Vampire took off in no small part because people love the tainted love that is Louis and Lestat, where maybe? They're both villains? (Definitely more Lestat, but you know.)

You know what the great thing about a romance novel is? The villain has to get a happy ending. They just must. It's a rule. If a villain is a lead, the HEA is guaranteed (rhymes), or it's not a romance novel.

So, for Cupid's birthday, I'm recommending some of my favorite villainfucking romance novels. I just think that we deserve it.

CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE

Wicked Villains by Katee Robert.

As you might guess, this series is in fact about villains getting their happy ending, full stop. And it does so by adapting Disney villain ships and placing them in a contemporary setting full of organized crime, sex clubs, and deals gone wrong. It is fun, it is campy, and it is very, very sexy. Check the trigger warnings (which Robert typically lists for each book on her website)--some of these do feature heavy BDSM and CNC.

The diversity of the pairings is so appreciated--while my favorite thus far is the first, Desperate Measures (Jafar/Jasmine with a mob wife "you killed my father" spin, for those curious) you get several triads (Hades/Hercules/Meg, Beast/Gaston/Belle, Ursula/Ariel/Eric, to name a few) and the ever-coveted sapphic Maleficent/Aurora moment. I don't think there's a straight person in this collection of characters. Contemporary romance can be a hard sell for me, especially in terms of villainy... But these are just a ride.

HISTORICAL ROMANCE

Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas.

Obviously, if you haven't read Devil in Winter yet, you need to read Devil in Winter. It's a classic--not just of historical romance, but romance in general. Though, pro-tip: I would recommend reading the preceding It Happened One Autumn first, as that's where the villainy takes place. Devil in Winter is about a recovering villain--a rake who did a very, very bad thing (kidnapping his best friend's lady love) simply because he did not want to get a job. I mean.....

Sebastian St. Vincent is a soft touch villain, and not just because he's super good at touching. You know he's going to roll over and beg for it with his seemingly-gentle, secretly-iron-willed heroine; but it's watching him get there that's so fun. His bark is worse than his bite, but he does deliver quite a bark (and quite a bite). If you like 'em snarky and slutty, read this book.

Duke of Sin by Elizabeth Hoyt.

If you like a blond villain who seems better at lounging about than doing manual labor, Valentine Napier takes what St. Vincent was doing to another level of insanity. St. Vincent is sane; Valentine is not, and he's a lot less fun about his kidnappings. Fortunately, his heroine (dispatched to spy on and steal from him) does not take any shit.

This is a book for those who like them loony, because I really don't think Valentine reforms in the least. He just falls in love, all while running around naked in bedazzled, open robes and brandishing a knife. At least he's good in bed and keeps giant, nude portraits of himself in his own house. Keep in mind that this book does delve into some pretty massive childhood trauma, including all kinds of abuse.

Villain I'd Like to F...

This anthology of novellas delves into five stories of historical romance villainy, by five great authors. I'm going to list each novella and its author, as these collections typically disband after a period of time, allowing the authors to sell the novellas individually (though you often can find the collections in online libraries like Libby). In the brackets!

[ Lady Viper and the Bastard by Eva Leigh.

Do you enjoy Dangerous Liaisons? Try this delightfully sexy Georgian-era novella about a widowed vamp and an illegitimate libertine, teaming up to break apart two young lovers (for a price). Except what happens when these two assholes start to catch feelings? Notable in that these characters are in their forties, know themselves, and do engage in some fun role-playing.

Seven Sinful Nights by Nicola Davidson.

Our young-but-ready widowed heroine is toiling in the service of her dickish in-laws... Until the owner of the local gambling hell (who isn't above murder and torture, and does enjoy dominating a bit) shows up demanding payment for her brother-in-law's debts. Those who love an innocent heroine lured by the darkness will love this one, a she very much goes willingly to her "doom" of being his mistress for a week, and loves every minute of it. It's sexy, it's sweet, she also loves a torture moment, there's some exhibitionism.

The Gangster's Prize by Joanna Shupe.

A Gilded Age gangster is thrown off balance by the young woman who comes to him demanding help in finding her missing father. But wait... who's in his dungeon as we speak? Could it be? Her dad? Joanna doesn't pull her punches here, and it's delightfully wacky. Watching our hapless villain hero be like "uhh, what screams from the dungeon" while our heroine looks for her father... who he has captive.. is hilarious.

The Bootlegger's Bounty by Adriana Herrera.

Did someone say sort-of pirates? Our heroine is a nightclub singer, and she books passage to New York with a dangerous rum runner. There's a lot of sex in this one, and--delightfully--a triad, as there happens to be a young gentleman who catches the eye of both our singer and our rum runner...

The Conquering of Tate the Pious by Sierra Simone.

Hedonistic nuns? A Norman invader (in more ways than one) who turns out to be a lady conqueror? As in, a conqueror who is a lady and conquers ladies? I think yes. Our proud abbess Tate is ready to stand up to the Wolf, but what happens when the Wolf is very sexy and cruel in the best possible way? ]

The Prince of Broadway by Joanna Shupe.

If there's one thing Joanna Shupe loves, it's a hero (or a villain turned hero) who hates your dad. This book opens with our casino-owning hero beating the shit out of someone, and when he meets the headstrong spoiled rich girl who wants to open a casino for ladies and needs mentorship... He takes her up on it. All while planning to take down her father (as revenge!!!).

While Clay isn't a super hardcore bad guy, he is pretty violent and pretty diabolical. What makes this book is, of course, his dynamic with Florence, and her defiance of norms that quickly has him completely besotted. This book has a very good grovel, and it should. Does anyone deserve Florence?

... and after reading this one, you can mosey over to Shupe's next book, The Devil of Downtown, in which a bad, bad gangster gets his ass emotionally kicked by Florence's goody goody angelic sister.

The Dragon and The Pearl by Jeannie Lin.

This is another one that benefits from reading its previous book, Butterfly Swords, first. In that novel we're introduced to the treacherous warlord our heroine is fleeing--Li Tao. Lin doesn't shy away from his intimidation factor: he even gets into a sword fight (that turns into an outright brawl, lmao) with the hero. In this novel, Li Tao gets full focus, kidnapping a former emperor's concubine to get information out of her.

What follows is a match of wits that gradually gives way to two manipulative, emotionally closed off people falling madly in love with each other while being unable to say it. Li Tao is a cold, seemingly-unfeeling villain-as-hero, and he really pushes how far he's willing to go to reach his end goals in this book. Also, there's a sex deal. If that matters to you.

Daring and The Duke by Sarah MacLean.

Again, one that does in fact benefit from reading the two preceding books, Wicked and The Wallflower and Brazen and The Beast (fortunately, they're both good!). Ewan, our titular duke, is the villain of both--and he is completely batshit insane in his pursuit of his childhood sweetheart, Grace. Who, for reasons relating to villainy, wants absolutely nothing to do with him.

This is a book-long grovel the way Sarah MacLean does it best--with abject shame and humiliation. Ewan is put through the ringer: and he should be, because he did a really bad thing! And was legitimately a nutjob of a villain! But that's what makes it so, so good.

PARANORMAL/FANTASY ROMANCE

The Four Horsemen by Laura Thalassa.

This series has the rather bold take of "what if the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Fucked". Starting with Pestilence, bleeding into War and Famine, and ending with Death, this series is a bit bonkers. But it doesn't let up on the extent of the villainous heroes' determination to lay waste to the world. There is a lot of gore. There is a lot of moral ambiguity.

But it's also legitimately funny. Pestilence discovers the joys of a bathtub. Death receives his first blowjob and is like "I don't know, maybe the apocalypse is bad". It's campy, and it's fun, and it leans the fuck in to the concept. I would recommend reading these in order, as the love stories stand alone but the overall arc leads to a big finish (and there are lots of finishes in between, if you know what I'm say--)

The Tenebris Trilogy by Kathryn Ann Kingsley.

If you're interested in the occult and some Lovecraftian vibes set in a pseudo-1920s world, this is it. Our heroine is on the search for her brother, and who is to assist but his stuffy-hot professor who happens to be a cult leader and has perhaps merged his body with that of a Cthulu monster?

What's interesting about this series (which cannot be read as standalones, and must be read in order) is that our hero is legitimately loony tunes, and our heroine is into it. She falls in love with him and his monsters, and that does... extend to the physical. (Tentacles, everyone! Shadow tentacles! Think Venom.) I will add that there's a lovely secondary romance with a trans heroine (with a hero that's not a villain) and it is excellent, but at one point an antagonist is transphobic towards her. An attempted off-page forced detransition occurs. The main heroine is totally supportive of the secondary heroine and stops it, but read with caution.

Kiss of a Demon King by Kresley Cole.

This rare villainess/hero romance sees a sorceress heroine take a deposed demon king captive to coerce him into impregnating her so that she can bear his heir (all for villainous purposes, of course). Yes. So this book is heavy on the dubcon--lots of edging, lots of people chained to beds--but to be frank? He is into it. We have a stern, morally upright hero being driven to the brink by the baddest of bad girls, and it's great.

This book is a bit controversial because of the content, and I do recommend checking out my IAD Cheat Sheet before reading for a full list of triggers/details about the world of Immortals After Dark. But it reads fairly well on its own, and I personally adore it. The sex is hot, the romance is angsty, he gets back at her in every possible way, and it's so fun to see a villainess take center stage and bring out the dark side of such a noble hero.

Dreams of a Dark Warrior by Kresley Cole.

Here, we focus on an immortal valkyrie heroine who's had centuries of near-misses with her would-be Berserker love--every time she kisses him, he remembers his past lives with her and promptly dies in increasingly gruesome ways. He's always be good and loving to her... which is why she's so shocked when he returns to her, this time in the form of an immortal-hating torturer who's taken her captive.

This one is dark--yes, he does torture her (not that badly, but there are other scenes of torture at the hands of different villains which are... bad). But if you can hang in there, I think you'll find a very compelling romance with a legitimately troubled, intense hero and a woman he can't get out of his head. There's also a very, very good bathtub scene that turns into "let me blindfold you so you can't see my hideous scars".

Lothaire by Kresley Cole.

The villain romance to end all villain romances (best read after Dreams, so you get the one-two punch of a pair of very different villainous heroes). What happens when you mix a 3,000-year-old megalomaniacal vampire with a 24-year-old whip-smart human woman he believes houses the soul of the goddess he's supposed to wed? A fucking ride, and possibly my favorite romance ever, that's what.

Lothaire goes HARD. It goes hard on the villainy (this is a story of a villain falling in love, not a villain finding redemption), it goes hard on the sex (with possibly one of the most infamous sex scenes in romance, and I love every word of it), and it goes hard on the angst. As much as Lothaire fucks with Ellie's head and is determined to deny his love for her, she's determined to one-up on him and will never, ever break. I think this book is always best summed up in a scene early on where he kisses her, bites her lip, and draws back, smugly expecting horror--only to find her grinning through the blood and pulling him in for another kiss. Tell me that isn't villain romance perfection.

Sworn to the Shadow God by Ruby Dixon.

Not so much a super hard villain romance as it is a "falling in love with Death himself" book, this wacky romance finds our gamer girl heroine falling through a portal to another land and... yes, sworn as the mortal companion of the God of Death as he attempts to complete a trial set before him by the father god. It is funny, it is sexy, it's adventurous, and it is for the Reylos.

You think I'm joking. No. He is very clearly modeled after Kylo Ren, and he sweeps around in dark cloaks and emo smashes about being the God of the Death, and it is glorious. He's less bad than he is detached and uncaring, but, you know... Death. By the end of the book, though? He cares very much about one particular person.

Look, man. Check your triggers always, especially with romance novels about villains. These won't work for everyone. But I imagine... if you like a villain... some of these are for you.

[kafkaoftherubble]

Uh... This actually took hours of background thinking throughout the morning to come up with more than one comfort character. Explanations after the dash break!

Fushi (To Your Eternity)

.................G-G-Gojo Satoru? What fucking comfort does this motherfucker even bring lately?! Fucking brain rot fucking annoyance fucking fuck come back alive already you fucker (Jujutsu Kaisen)

Yamada Sagiri (Hell's Paradise)

Laurent Thierry (Great Pretender)

...Must the character be fictional? Okay, fine. The entire landscape of Hyrule (Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom). Wait, must it be a person?!

uh, I'll tag @not-pie and @neoo again! Go at it if you want!

---------------------------------------------------------

Fushi is the only comfort character who sprung into my head. I'd argue they are the only one who actually fits the concept of it as I perceive it to be! I just like seeing them. I like watching their growth in the story. If I ever need a pick-me-up, I can always just pick some random episodes and watch Fushi "do shits." Fine, TYE can hurt quite a bit so often it doesn't make me smile. But it gets me thinking! Plus, Fushi reminded me of someone I care about a lot. This must be one of the background factors.

I guess he counts because he's an interesting amalgamation of JJK's Buddhist themes right down to being coded as the Buddha guy—and still he fucking fails a lot of times. He's so popular and well-adored and all that shit and yet he's still too often misunderstood and couldn't even win when it counts. It's likely the same as Fushi in that I just feel comfort in seeing "human aliens" grow. Because then I feel like I've got a chance, too!

She comforts me because she's always reflecting on the extremities she finds herself under, and actually strives to be good at "the game of men" (being an executioner and a sword fighter and stuff) while not wanting to discard qualities that are stereotypically seen as "feminine." She's one of the few fictional characters (that I know of) who explicitly tries to walk The Middle Way, and is actually all the stronger because of it. The best part about her, I guess, is that she explicitly questions herself and doubts herself a lot of time, and yet the story doesn't frame this as a bad thing like most people tend to do. Again, all these questions only make her wiser and better.

There are past versions of me who really like noble-hearted conmen. Fucking love Great Pretender and Lupin. Laurent comforts me because he's fucking intelligent. He's manipulative and aloof which doesn't endear himself to his co-conspirators, but he's always doing it for the right cause in the end. He's suave and debonair, a whiz at figuring out people's psychology and using it, a legendary conman of his own right... Now that I think about it: he's just conman Gojo Satoru?! Jesus fucking Christ—

I'm actually no good with nature or plants. I don't think they like me. And I hate bugs, which are friends of nature. No wonder nature isn't my friend. I still find comfort in them though, because they aren't human. Meanwhile, being video games, BOTW and TOTK's nature is very appealing because of their clime diversity and lack of real bugs and... just sheer watercolor beauty. We always feel better after rambling in it. Whenever we dissociate we always arrive either in Ayutthaya or Hyrule, too. It was even powerful enough that it helped us through the most terrible conflict-filled years back then. So yea.

five comfort characters, five tags

thank you for the tag @grayeyedandroid!!

leonard "bones" mccoy (star trek: tos)

benji dunn (mission impossible)

benedick (much ado about nothing)

harold finch (person of interest)

john constantine (hellblazer)

no pressure tags: @queerfables @thevelvetarchive @smeerp @saint-starflicker @argylepiratewd

[davidmann95]

Jon’s bi! You’ve got to be feeling some way huh?

adudewholikescomicsandotherstuff asked: The Jon news?

Anonymous asked: So, Jon's officially bi now. Thoughts?

maxwell-grant asked: You're probably getting a billion asks about this as is, but I'd like to extend a congratulatory champagne popping in light of recent news. How do you feel about it?

Anonymous asked: i REALLY want to know your thoughts on jon's news!!!!

Anonymous asked: Jon Kent is apparently bi now? What do you think of that?

Anonymous asked: So, Superman news today. I don't know if it's maybe the kind of news you avoided as spoilers (I honestly wish I didn't know about it yet), but if you know what I'm talking about, I'd love to hear your thoughts, though I expect you're equally stoked as I am

So yeah. Superman's bi. I mean obviously there's the pretty big caveat there, but same as 'Robin's dead/Robin's bi' the semantics won't really penetrate the general culture in the same way as the headline, and as I go into at the end this is still significant in a way things like this usually aren't. In any case, Superman - DC's 'main' Superman at the moment, a Superman who by pure coincidence is just a day off from sharing my own birthday - is bi. There's some conflicted feelings there: my opinion on the run thus far is mixed, obviously there's the self-serving corporate element, AND that asshole Tim Drake sort of softened us all up for this which means it isn't hitting as hard as it otherwise would which at least means I can go back to disdaining him in peace. But Superman's bi, like me. Yeah, I felt a feeling.

Mostly shared my thoughts on Twitter, but here again:

* Fun fact: I literally woke up this morning to a fragmentary text about Jay from a friend, and before opening that and getting the full context I decided to check the CBR front page - in the scant moments in-between that got me thinking about Jon and Jay and I distinctly recall the words "they'll never go for it".

* Lol guess I know which Superman I'd ever be allowed to write if I managed to break in. I'd sure take that gig though.

* Personal favorite Twitter reaction.

* God I hope Jay doesn't turn out to be a squeaky-clean weenie nothingburger safe pseudo-husband like so many young queer love interests. It seems like he's got stuff being built up between his powers (potentially themselves Wildstorm related, i.e. he's a Century Baby/the Doctor/the Engineer), leading Truth, and the connection to Gamorra/Bendix, but would legit rather it turns out he's Jon's Lex than they end up Wiccan and Hulkling 2.0. Which surprises me - I like Wiccan and Hulkling just fine! - and the idea of Superman having One True Love is pretty set in stone, but I saw a headline of "Like his father, Jon Kent has fallen for a reporter" and alarm bells immediately started screaming DO NOT WANT in my head as I suddenly imagined this going the most inoffensively bland possible route by sheer inertia.

Anonymous asked: Diversity win! You no longer have to give a shit about Tim Drake now that a character you actually like is canonically bi

magnus-king123 asked: How does it feel to be able to dislike Tim again now that Jon is bi now?

* You people...you get me. You really get me.

* 20 years from now, as Superman Secundus holds Batman 666 in his arms as his friend fades from this world, redeeming his soul in sacrificing himself for the salvation of his father's beloved city: "Live a…worthy life, my good and...true friend...with...anyone but Drake..."

* Was thinking what bi writers I'd want handling Jon Kent Superman and now that he's a queer politically active young cosmic legacy hero who doesn't fully know the true nature of his powers, is there a character who has ever been more designed for Al Ewing. C'mon DC, Ewing on Jon and Hickman on Clark once the current runs end, you'll never have an easier layup again in your life.

* (Failing that this is another point for Dan Watters getting Jon long-term - I don't know if he's queer himself, but I recall him writing some solid gay romance in The Picture Of Everything Else.)

* God willing, Clark and/or Lois in an upcoming issue of Superman: "Jon...I hope this is alright to say, but I've always had a feeling. I've honestly been ready to have this conversation with you since you were ten. Granted that was a couple months ago, but."

(Credit Dylan Marci)

* The most long-term exciting and promising thing about Jon Kent being bi is that he's basically impossible to shuffle completely off to the side or even completely refrain from throwing major talent behind, in a way that hasn't really been the case with any other queer big two characters to date. Iceman? One of the 8 or so main Green Lanterns? That's nice. Tim Drake? That's a symbolically potent statement of intent - he's (a) Robin! - but also he hasn't mattered except for Tynion's Detective in 15 years. But Jon Kent? He's Lois Lane and Clark Kent's kid, and not an alternate future variant, nor is it a Damian situation where he can storm off on his own into obscurity. Even if he stopped being Superman,** that's a dude who's going to be around in a big way FOREVER. He'll have long-lasting runs and Black Label minis and assorted perennials to his name essentially no matter what happens, because 'Superman's son' carries a weight that arguably no other legacy character can match. Pending a truly full reboot that doesn't seem remotely in the cards he's impossible to disentangle from being one of the two most important characters in the life of the most iconic superhero of all time, and that's a completely different degree of importance than sidekick #5 or a lesser-known member of an ensemble.

** And I doubt - as pointed out by @JIhekaire in a convo I had with him - that they can ever get away with ever having Jon drop the Superman title for that matter, lest they end up with the same kind of backlash as when Miles Morales was renamed 'Kid Arachnid' for one of the cartoons.

* Holy shit though maybe do something about this.

[mallowstep]

What are your opinions on forbidden relationships in Warriors? I've seen people label it as a "trope" because of how common this is. Some find the forbidden romance aspect intriguing, though others find it extremely repetitive and old

I'd like to know your thoughts!

hm. well, it is a trope. i mean, there's an average of one major one a series, right? greysilver, leafcrow (and others, but that's the big one), heatherlion (and implied others), tigerdove, idk i don't remember anything from avos but violetshine luv her but there's probably something, bristleroot. dotc doesn't count bc well it's dotc.

anyway.

definitely a trope.

but that's not a bad thing.

what i think people don't give warriors enough credit for is that these are not all the same forbidden romance. most of them are handled in different ways and bring up different conflicts. i understand why people are tired of them, but let's not discredit one of the only good things in warriors romance: that they make forbidden relationships different.

like, with grey and silver, it's about loyalty and responsibility. leafcrow is just bad idea central, both heatherlion and tigerdove are about responsibilities and young cats, and they have two different answers, and bristleroot is challenging the whole idea from the start.

so like. give credit where credit is due: we're not doing the same (forbidden) relationships again and again. i don't see enough people talk about that.

okay so it turns out i have um. a lot of thoughts about this. idk i just kept writing and now it's over 2k words. so you know. under the cut: matthew does half-baked media analysis to talk about why the code and cats' relationships to it are misunderstood. while actually staying on topic.

anyway from here on i'm just going to say relationship/romance, and understand that i'm generally talking about the forbidden kind. also i'm talking exclusively within the realm of warriors romance, which is, on average, bad. so when i say "X is good," i don't mean "X is good in general," i mean "given what we have, X is good." just to be clear.

right! basically, this is a tool. it creates tension and drama, and that's fine. warriors is a soap opera, remember. soap operas use secrets and relationships and all sorts of plot devices over and over again. warriors is not Serious. it can be dark. it has serious moments. but it is not a Serious Book Series for Serious Kids. it is a soap opera for Future Theatre Kids. yeah?

from that perspective, i'm a-ok with forbidden romance. (also, as a mini-aside, it creates some much-needed genetic diversity when kits are involved.) and again: all of the major relationships are different, so i think that's better than a lot of people give it credit for.

yeah, heatherlion and greysilver and tigerdove are all about the same general idea (loyalty and responsibility), but they all have different circumstances and different resolutions.

so like? yeah. sure. why not?

plus, like, who's reading warriors for the romance? i separate the concept of "romance" from a "relationship" here: i like the relationships in warriors (ivy and dove tension my beloved), but i'm not here to read about tigerheart wooing dovewing. (yes, i do love the tigerdove scenes in oots. no, that's not because i think they're very good at being romantic.)

but i digress.

if warriors was a Serious Book Series for Serious Kids, i'd have a different take here. having been in an IRL forbidden relationship, i have the Personal Insight and Experience to say they're this weird mash of "very much how it feels" and "not at all how it feels."

tigerdove is probably my favourite bc it's the closest to my circumstances, and i think dovewing is a good pov. i like how she breaks up with him because it's a bad idea, but that's not the same thing as not feeling for him.

(heh. twelve-year-old me reading oots like "this will never apply to my life" what did you know)

but to the point, if warriors was serious, i'd point out that the consequences always seem to be internal. we haven't seen characters be punished for their actions. and so on.

but warriors is a soap opera.

and here's my actual thesis: we haven't seen characters be punished for their actions, because "forbidden relationships" are a normal and expected part of clan society.

like no, fandom-at-large, you're kind of missing the point. okay, you know how like. people complain about. idk. ivypool and fernsong being distantly related?

(third aside/very long ivyfern rant, i put a nice big "rant over" after it if you want to skip past it: they're third cousins. they share, max, 2.2% of their genetics. they are fine. do you know your third cousins? do you? yeah. and like. they live in a closed society. there is no one new.

i've never seen someone complain about forbidden romance and ivyfern at the same time, and i do generally agree we should have more mystery fathers, altho for a different reason, but like. idk. this bothers me.

their last shared relative was nutmeg. that's so far back. god. i get it, there was a prophecy saying they're related, but if you remember my rant about how dovewing shouldn't be a part of the prophecy because of how distantly related to firestar is, you know how i feel about that already.

complaining they're related and that's a problem is. deep breath here. it requires demonstrating that warriors has kept track of kinship all the way back to firestar's mother. and even if you wave that requirement, you still have to convince me they would care about that. this isn't a "they're cats, harold" situation, this is a "you would not know your third cousin even if you lived in the same town" situation.

i mean maybe you would. some people do. but my hometown has generations of people who married within its borders. you get as far as "cousin," maybe "second cousin" if you're feeling fancy. i'm not trying to make an always true statement, i just. every time i see someone complain about ivyfern being related, it strikes me as not understanding how extended families work?

i know third cousins isn't technically classified as a distant relative, but you have, on average, 190 third cousins. i feel so strongly about this i looked it up.

like i'm not. okay if you say, "I don't ship ivyfern because they are third cousins and that makes me uncomfortable" you are Valid. in general, you are all valid. i do not think you have to, on a personal level, be okay with ivyfern. you are free to do as you wish.

but. if you want to argue "ivyfern is a Bad Ship because they are third cousins" you have a hell of a burden of proof. simply saying "they share a great-great-grandmother" does not meet that, because like. yeah. we're all pretty damn related.)

(ivyfern rant over)

IVYFERN RANT OVER

right so. anyway. if you remove forbidden romance? you're forcing a lot more of those situations.

i've been messing around with modelling some small-scale fan clan-adjacent stuff to double-check the ratios for wbcd, and it's. it quickly becomes a necessity, is what i'm saying.

but i got distracted like. researching how related third cousins are. my point is not about that, that's like. a different topic. that i crammed into here because i have no self-control.

no, no, what i was trying to get to is: oakheart straight up tells us that cats have half-clan kits all the time, it's not a problem, no one talks about it. and that? that is exactly what we see modelled by warriors.

the only reason greystripe and silverstream have a problem is that silverstream dies and greystripe claims the kits. i feel very strongly that if she had lived, the kits would have been born and raised riverclan kits, that might, maybe, one day, guess who their father is.

we haven't had any half clan kits in a while, which yes! i think is a problem, but like. the fact that the three are medicine cat kits seems to be a bigger issue. which feels right.

and i'm not trying to argue what i think should be, i legitimately believe the text of warriors defends this, even in newer books which throw out a lot of the older world building in favour of more human-like conflict.

as readers, we are naturally following protagonists. we are following the interesting story. but imagine you're just a background riverclan cat. minnowtail, if you will. do you think, do you honestly think, anyone cares about minnowtail?

not in a bad way, just. if she's meeting up with mousewhisker at night, do you think anyone cares? of course not! no one cares. she's not a Protagonist. her kits aren't going to be prophesized about.

heck, finleap switches clans! and it's barely a big deal. it feels like one, but when's the last time anyone bothered dealing with it? that's what i thought.

(also i forgot like all of avos so that very last point might be a bad one if it is my argument stands i just literally do not remember anything in avos but violetshine. none. zero.)

but it's easy to get caught up with characters like hollyleaf and bristlefrost and forget that like. not everyone cares about the code. most of our protagonists do, because it's become mostly equivalent with being moral. and i have an essay draft titled "the code as religion vs the code as law" where i want to expand on this more, but i think like. that idea, that we as readers should use the code as a way of evaluating cats' behaviour, is flawed.

like, i'm not talking about being inconsistent with how that is applied. if you want to say, "the trial leafpool goes through for having half-clan kits is legitimate because of the code," i still think your approach is flawed.

because the cats themselves don't seem to think that way.

the code doesn't, to me, feel like the ten commandments. it does not feel like "you must do this to be a good cat."

rather, it feels like aesop's parables. "here are mistakes cats made and what we do instead of that."

i don't think the cats know the code the way we do. i do not think they memorize a list of rules as kits. i think they know what is and is not part of it, but i imagine they know the stories far more than the rules.

(i'm working on my lore stories to replace code of the clans.)

and even if that's my thoughts, i do think this is supported by the text. no one ever teaches the warrior code, cats just learn it in pieces. "don't waste food because we don't have enough to spare" is taught, not "there's a rule about food and starclan on the code."

that's why the whole arc of the broken code even works: the reason the imposter is able to manipulate things is because cats don't treat the code as a rigid set of rules and commandments, but guiding principles.

the parts of the code that we tend to focus on the most are relationships, apprentices, and battle. or that's my perception. i didn't do a poll to obtain that. there's also the leader's word, but readers don't usually think of that as a good rule, so i'm not including it.

but the parts the cats focus on most are food, territory, and the leader's word. which makes sense: those are basic needs: food, security, and...i don't want to say authority so much as some kind of social system. explaining it would be a whole thing. just trust with me, if you don't mind.

i don't think we have any real reason to believe cats care about half-clan relationships half as much as we do. yes, apprentices are chastized about it, but that's not really the same thing as being punished.

and it's hard to tell, because apprentices being punished has really fallen off, and that's kind of the problem with any argument i try to make about warriors, but.

wow.

i'm actually still on topic? i'm 2k words in and i'm still on topic? a day i never thought would come.

let's wrap this up. cats seem to care about half clan relationships in that: a) they lead to conflicted loyalties, b) they mess with borders and prey, and c) they are in the code as bad. in that order.

and again, if the code was some high and holy religious doctrine, we couldn't have the broken code as an arc. it does not work if the cats are already following it to a t, and know it word for word, because it's signfiicantly harder to manipulate people if they do.

not to the level the imposter does, at the speed he does.

and yes, you could argue that it's more bad writing, but. i think that discredits warriors. yeah, it sure has its fair share of bad writing, but i don't think that's in the way the imposter works. instead, he seizes on a big important doctrine that's nebulous, and uses that to control people.

and that? that feels much more interesting.

so with that in mind, i don't think the cats would care about your typical, non-protagonist forbidden relationship, and i don't think we should, either.

as far as a plot device, i think we're okay with what we have. don't get me wrong, i understand why people are tired of it, but i think we also should remember that warriors is not repeating itself. having multiple forbidden relationships is not repetitive. now, if medicine cats were having half-clan kits every series, i'd make a different argument.

but all of the major forbidden relationships have different outcomes, lessons, and circumstances, and for me, i think that's signficantly interesting.

i didn't really check sources and quotes for this, so like, if you spotted something wrong, feel free to correct me. my overall point stands, but there's a lot of warriors and i have a bad memory, so i could have missed somthing major.

[aotopmha]

Attack on Titan in 2020

I've sort of dropped doing detailed chapter posts on the series because that type of writing wasn't very fun for me anymore and I have taken a liking to a bullet point kind of approach where I list the elements that stood out for me in the chapter or make a separate post for some specific topic I'd like to talk about in it.

I've started like 10 different posts to attempt to talk about AoT this year and I always end up with incoherent rambling because of all of the elements I'd love to to talk about.

This year's chapters were 125-135 and this year's episodes episodes 1-4 of season 4.

The anime episodes in particular have given me a lot of food for thought, so I'm just saying fuck it.

I think the biggest misstep of the story for me will forever be the fact that it decided to use fairly specific historical imagery.

The Eldians are clearly supposed to have allegorical equivalency with Jewish people, but the Jewish people were never the oppressors. There weren't any Jewish empires. That's conspiracy theory bullshit.

But on the other hand, the series clearly takes great effort to not stereotype any of the groups it's portraying and gives complex reasons for what both sides do. It's one of the few Japanese series that I've seen not stereotype Middle Eastern-coded people (Ramzi and Halil) or black people (Onyakapon). Everyone are people, it says. It even champions diversity:

(Chapter 118)

It is also very much true that a bunch of fascist states use long-term history as an excuse for their actions:

(Chapter 127)

Nation did X 2000 years ago therefore our conquest of them is justified.

This makes discussion about the series' themes like a minefield.

The people who are very critical about its imagery are right, but the people defending the series aren't wrong, either because it condemns all of those nasty ideas of conquest and hurting innocent people.

You can't have a more clear-cut condemnation of genocide:

(Chapter 127)

If you combine all of these details instead of zoning in on them one by one, to me what the story is saying is that *even if* all of that conspiracy bullshit is true, innocent people don't deserve to be slaughtered no matter the reason because they are still people who have their own feelings, thoughts and wishes.

The story clearly gets the baseline, but fumbles the details. I decided to look up some more discussion surrounding this these past few days and I just wish there was more good faith discussion about it. A lot of it feels like a moral superiority contest.

I think it's these kind of flawed stories that actually deserve detailed scruitiny over stories that are rotten to the core because they are *almost there*. Talking about them is a good topic starter in what to do and not to do in a story like this.

Speaking of rotten to the core, I think the absolute highlight of the chapters this year is Eren and some of the chapters this year finally gave me a pretty clear picture of what is going on with him.

Context from 123 certainly helps, though:

(Chapter 131)

This is about Eren's perspective. He can't accept the destruction of Paradis.

It's not that this solution was inevitable looking in from the outside (which is one of the interpretations I see around for Eren's actions), it's that *Eren* can't see any other way out of this except the most extreme because of all of the horrible things he has seen from the outside world. It is very similar to the way suicidal people can only focus on the negative.

You can tell them everything is going to be okay, but those words won't reach them because their mind won't let them and loops them back to those negative thoughts.

Eren can't see the ice cream or silly clowns. But he can see how the other Eldians in the league of Eldians are willing to push Paradis under the bus. He can see how Grisha's sister was killed. He can see how racist and cruel Marley is towards the Eldians in Liberio (and how the people have racist leanings towards other nations, too).

He can only see those bad things. But he also understands how everyone outside of the walls are human just as the people inside of the walls are.

So he is torn to pieces by guilt.

He doesn't want to do this, but he can't see any other solution.

This is why I also think he can't rob his friends of their agency. He is fighting for them to have a good future:

(Chapter 133)

(Chapter 131)

What really stood out to me on a revisit is that Eren considers himself much worse than Reiner.

I've seen criticism on how the story pushes the narrative of both sides being the same and this detail is really important to me because this is the story acknowledging that what Eren is doing is worse and gives all of the following exchanges about this the context of it being a similarity in principle.

Both sides have killed for what they think is right and have to deal with how they have killed people. This is such an important detail in the Uprising arc, too, where Erwin firmly acknowledged that overthrowing the government might not actually be the right choice by him. It was simply what he saw as right. On a narrative level this avoids absolute truths and preference of one character perspective over the other and once again makes it about individual perspectives.

The theme of individual perspectives is so ingrained in this story at this point in my eyes that it's another cornerstone in understanding what is going on with Eren to me.

I think it's great.

I also really appreciate Annie and what was done with her in this chunk of chapters.

(Chapter 127)

There has been this narrative going around that proposes that the story is in Eren's corner too much. But these chapters are nothing but questioning Eren and Annie is one of the main voices in this. It's the Marleyan girls, really and I think this is a very necessary part of making the narrative work. Once again, it separates the narrative and character perspective.

It says that the Paradis side caring is about character perspective, not what the narrative sides with and Annie is even sympathetic to Mikasa in that instance.

She gets it. Unexpectedly, I think Annie might play a bigger role in taking down Eren than expected. Her character arc about deciding to no longer go with the flow because she doesn't want any more tragedy to happen is basically calling for it.

(Chapter 128)

Another element I've seen brought up is the fact that nobody seems to address the Bert-sized elephant in the room, but some of our characters are certainly thinking about him.

This is such a thematically strong element and really interesting because Connie joined the military to make his mom proud and be a good soldier. This is the motivation behind his claim when he says they are going to save the world. But what does becoming a good soldier mean, exactly?

Well, apparently possibly gunning down people you care about.

This moment is so good because it's another moment where the idea of glory in war is taken down a peg.

The moment with Connie declaring they're going to save the world is so often criticised, but it is actually turned on its head in 128. There is no heroics in this. This is actually Connie's big "killing a person" moment because it strips away the final bit of comfort in killing in war, the excuse of killing for good moral reasons.

It is also a wonderful complex evolution of the series' themes. Trost was about fighting monsters. In the Female Titan and Clash of Titan arcs some of those monsters turned out to be human. In the Uprising, Return to Shiganshina and Marley arcs all of those monsters turned out to be human and here in the War of Paradis arc, everyone is human and the only separating system is what everyone views as right.

I really hope the anime will let this chapter breathe a little bit more.

Moving on, I guess it is time to address the rumbling.

I love it as a horror spectacle.

(Chapter 130)

And I really I think it needs to be non-CG when animated. CG is fine in spectacle battles, but not in horror settings because it is too clean.

The rumbling needs to be disgusting and dirty.

Chapter 132 gave me one of the few moments in which I truly cared about Levi. I think him telling Hange to dedicate her heart was a very good moment to cap off their relationship. He sent another SL commander to fulfill their duty.

The speech about hatred in chapter 134 also stood out to me. I think it definitely should be fitted in there somewhere in this, but I also see a bunch of criticism for it.

I want to point out that this is the side of present Marley talking here. It's the military dictatorship.

It's the Nazis. I think the Nazis should feel regret for exploiting innocent people and admit they're wrong.

I also like how the horrors here are undoing the brainwashing and showing the truth to the citizens.

I guess you could read it as heavy-handed, but it is also something that needs to be addressed and in principle, it's not wrong.

I'm also going to put a mention of Historia here. I've talked about how this is my biggest and most glaring problem with the series because of how thematically unfitting it feels, but I've also talked about it in many posts. I wanted to focus more on other stuff in this post.

So now, we make it back to chapter 135.

I think having stewed on it for a month now, I like the element of mindscrewing our cast with the Titans of the people they love is the strongest element of it. It's making them face their personal traumas and we also get some great character moments and payoffs from it.

Mikasa ended off the year in a very good note in my eyes.

Even this deep in the story, this chapter left me in a situation where I have no idea how things might turn out.

I might have rough ideas, but not anything specific and that's fun.

Well, this is it on my retrospective.

2021 is confirmed to be AoT's final year of publication as volume 34 is set to be the story's final volume.

Those who hate the story can finally be free of it and those who care for it, can look back on it with fondness and sadness and many other emotions and evaluate.

It's been 7 years for me. What a wild ride.

So, I'm asking everyone, what are some of your observations on AoT in 2020?

Is there anything you'd like to add or do you have any observations or counterarguments for anything I've said?

I'd be curious to see what everyone else thought of AoT in 2020!

[everwitch-magiks]

dance with somebody (ch. 15)

start from ch. 1 | back to ch. 14

Whiskey can't quite keep his hands from shaking as he types out the message. He reads through it once, changes a couple of words and then briefly considers adding some sort of emoji. He doesn’t. Instead, he makes himself hit send before he has the time to lose his nerve.

I'll be driving to Boston on Sunday to take care of a couple things, wanna come with? Figured I might as well make a day out of it.

Within a minute, he gets the notification for a reply.

sounds like fun. do I get to choose the music?

Sure. Pick you up around eight?

Whiskey doesn't let himself reread that message until after he's sent it. God, it almost sounds like he’s making plans for a date. No, actually – it sounds exactly like plans for a date. So much for the whole charade of pretending that some mundane errand is his main reason for their outing.

ugh, so early? I'll be requiring a cappuccino, Annie's or bust.

When Miguel lets himself into the passenger seat of the truck Sunday morning, greeting Whiskey with nothing but a yawn and tired smile, Whiskey merely nods towards him as he silently hands him an Annie's take away cup.

"Oh, thank God." Miguel takes a sip, closing his eyes briefly. "Don’t you sleep in, like, ever?"

"Not really," Whiskey admits. He starts the truck and puts it in reverse. "I was at the gym this morning."

"Of course you were," Miguel mutters. "Man, if I was half as serious as you about anything, I'd… Oh."

Whiskey glances towards him. Miguel has opened his eyes again, and for some reason he seems to have zeroed in on Whiskey's hands.

"What?"

"Nothing." Miguel looks away abruptly. "Never mind me. Eyes on the road.”

Whiskey does look back ahead, but raises both eyebrows curiously. Miguel clears his throat lightly. He digs his phone out of his pocket.

“I’m loving the retro chick vibe of this truck, but I’m guessing bluetooth’s out of the question? Is there an aux cord?”

“Retro chic,” Whiskey parrots back, amused enough to let whatever just happened slide. “Yeah, you can plug in right there.”

“It’s all about the aesthetic, man.” Miguel grins, tapping merrily on his phone. “Okay. I’ve got no idea what you usually listen to, but this playlist’s got lots of different genres.”

After the first three songs have all been Panic! At The Disco, Whiskey feels the need to make a couple of chirps on the definition of the word different, but then the next three tracks are Billy Joel and Robyn and Blackpink, respectively. It turns out they’re both big fans of The Script and have actually both seen them live on the No Sound Without Silence tour, albeit not at the exact same concert. Miguel waves his hands in excitement as goes off on various tangents about which songs he loves the most and exactly why, almost spilling coffee all over himself at one point, and there’s more than one moment where Whiskey laments the fact that he really must keep his eyes on the road.

By the time Whiskey hits the turn signal for their exit, he’s almost starting to relax a little. So far, so good.

“Hey, I almost forgot,” Miguel says. “You never said where we’re actually going?”

“Boston,” Whiskey supplies ambiguously.

“Ha, ha. Where in Boston?”

“A presently undisclosed location.” Whiskey glances briefly at Miguel. “It’s a surprise.”

He catches Miguel’s soft smile before he has to look back ahead.

“A surprise, huh?”

“Yeah.” Whiskey tries to keep his tone somewhat neutral. “I wanted to… Yeah.”

“I thought you had stuff to do?”

“I mean, surprising you isn’t not doing stuff,” Whiskey argues, even though he knows that’s only a backwards way of admitting that Miguel’s got it right. “It’s just… Other stuff.”

For the first time all morning, he’s glad he doesn’t need to meet Miguel’s eyes.

“Depends on the surprise, doesn’t it?” Miguel teases. He sounds pleased. “Fine, don’t tell me. I’ll just have to figure it all out, anyway.”

“Get ready to figure out the first part.” Whiskey pulls into a parking lot. “Here we are.”

“There’s a second part? You know, I’m almost starting to think… Oh my God. Pancakes!”

Whiskey grins. Miguel actually sounds pretty excited.

“How did you know that I haven’t had breakfast?” Miguel questions eagerly.

“You rolled out of bed with less than a minute to spare and put on the first thing you saw in your closet,” Whiskey says matter of factly. He turns off the ignition. “You’ve literally told me that’s your normal routine.”

“I mean, kind of.” Miguel smiles playfully. “But hey, at least you still get to enjoy these effortlessly good looks. Not everyone can look this cute without even really trying, you know.”

“Well,” Whiskey says quietly. Finally, he gets to look over and meet Miguel’s eyes properly. “Fair point.”

Miguel bites his lower lip. Suddenly, his gaze is intent on Whiskey.

“Is this… Too public? Or can we, um. Y’know.”

Whiskey throws a quick glance outside the truck. The parking lot is empty, thank God – quickly, he leans over. It’s a brief kiss, over almost before it’s begun, but Whiskey still feels Miguel’s soft lips smile against his own.

“Come on,” Whiskey mumbles. There’s two more steps to his carefully crafted plan, and he intends to see them both through. “Pancakes. On me.”

The menu at iHOP is ridiculous, but not more ridiculous than the smile on Miguel’s face when the waiter presents him with his mountain of blueberry pancakes with maple syrup and bacon. Unsurprisingly, it’s completely adorable.

The drive over to their second destination is brief. They’re still several blocks away when, suddenly, Miguel goes very quiet.

“Almost there,” Whiskey says, in an attempt to fill out the silence. And just like that, he’s nervous all over again. “You, uh. You good?”

“Are you kidding?” Miguel says incredulously – a good kind of incredulous, if his tone is any indication. “I don’t believe you. Is this really where we’re going?”

“I thought you might like it,” Whiskey says carefully. “They’ve got this new exhibit that’s just opened, it’s the Indo-pacific-”

“Coral reef,” Miguel interrupts eagerly. “Yes, I know, I’ve literally got their tweets on alerts. It sounds amazing. And they’ve got this big ocean tank that’s four storys high, you can walk all around it and see every part from a different angle, plus they do absolutely incredible work with their sea turtle rescue program.” He grins widely. “I love the New England Aquarium.”

“Oh. Well, good.” There’s plenty of available parking space, still, since the aquarium has only just opened. Whiskey gets them a spot close to the entrance. “I’ve actually never been.”

“Then you’re in for a treat.” Miguel is already undoing his seatbelt. “Come on! I can’t wait to show you everything.”

When Miguel said everything, he wasn’t kidding. They spend over half an hour at the first exhibit, since Miguel apparently needs to explain in exact detail why the Amazon rainforest is actually one of the most diverse habitats in the world, and then a whole hour goes by as they watch a pair of sea lions swimming and playing with absolutely stunning control and flexibility. By the time they get to the big ocean tank, Whiskey feels like he’s learned more about marine creatures in a couple of hours than he thought he might in his entire life.

It’s surprisingly interesting. And listening to Miguel ramble about it, his eyes shining with unfiltered excitement, is unsurprisingly captivating.

They sit down on a bench on the third floor, where they have a good view of the tank just below the surface. There’s not a lot of other guests around, probably because of the feeding that’s happening over at the tank with the baby sharks. Whiskey glances to his side just as a surprisingly huge sea turtle swims by them at a leisurely pace, watches Miguel’s lips soften into a perfectly gentle, content smile.

If Whiskey could have orchestrated every detail of his ideal moment to proceed with the third and final step of his plan, it would’ve looked a lot like this.

He clears his throat lightly.

Miguel looks over towards him, a little expectantly.

Whiskey hesitates.

God, he must do this. He must. Even if this is where he fucks it all up, his future self deserves to remember this as a moment in his life when he faced all of his fears head on in pursuit of real happiness. He needs to let himself try, to allow himself this one moment of mortifying vulnerability.

“Do you-”

“Can I-”

Whiskey falls silent abruptly. Miguel blinks, looking equally startled.

They both smile.

“You, first,” Miguel says gently.

“Okay.” Whiskey takes a steadying breath. “I was hoping we could talk about, um. About this. About us?”

He makes an awkward gesture between them that’s probably not at all necessary for Miguel to understand his meaning.

“Sure,” Miguel agrees. He’s still smiling, albeit not quite as softly as before, and there’s an undertone of apprehension as he continues. “Based on the past few hours, I’m guessing I’m not actually about to have my heart broken, here?”

“No. I hope not.” God, Whiskey wishes that he could dare to get his hopes up at those words. Of course, he can’t. He already knows perfectly well that Miguel isn’t indifferent to him, per say. That’s not what he’s been so afraid of finding out. “Miguel, I like you so much. I like being with you, just like this, so much. You’re kind of always on my mind, lately, and it’s all really just so… So great. You’re really, really great.”

“Okay,” Miguel says slowly. His tone is all apprehension, now. “I’m sensing a but, here. You’re not looking to date right now, is that it? Or are you just not looking for a boyfriend at all? Or-”

“No,” Whiskey interrupts hurriedly. “Fuck, no, not at all. Miguel, if you wanted to be my boyfriend, I’d be so happy.”

“Oh.” Miguel blinks. “You… Really?”

“Yes.” Whiskey swallows. “I… Yes. Really.”

“Huh.” Slowly, Miguel’s lips curl into another smile. “Wow. That’s... Okay.”

Whiskey allows himself a moment to smile back. God, what he wouldn’t give for things to actually be that simple.

“Okay,” he says, trying to get back on track. “So, the thing is-”

“Ah, I knew it,” Miguel cuts in, almost playfully. “There is a but, isn’t there?”

Whiskey grimaces.

“I mean. Sort of?”

“Right.” Miguel’s smile dims again. “Sorry, sorry. I’m listening.”

“It’s not too bad,” Whiskey says, even though it honestly absolutely is. “I, um. You see.”

Miguel watches him expectantly.

“I guess I don’t want to come on too strong, here, and start talking about our lives several years from now,” Whiskey begins, testing the waters a bit. 

Miguel raises his eyebrows slightly, but looks otherwise unruffled. So, like, that’s not a terrible reaction.

Whiskey takes the plunge.

“I just need you to know that I’m not sure if I’ll ever actually come out, publicly. Right now, I honestly don’t think so.”

“Ah,” Miguel says. “You mean… Ah. Okay.”

Whiskey waits. Miguel’s expression is infuriatingly unreadable.

“Good to know,” Miguel finally settles on. “That’s not a deal breaker for me, exactly. I’m just not sure if I’d want to keep something like this from absolutely everyone. I honestly don’t think I could.”

“I couldn’t do that, either,” Whiskey says, surprising himself a little bit. Still, it’s the truth. “I’d want to tell my two best friends.”

“You would?” Miguel asks, almost smiling. “Have I met them?”

“Yes, actually. Tango and Ford.”

“So you’re out, to them?”

“Not yet,” Whiskey admits. “But I’ve been thinking about it, and I… I’d want them to know about us.”

“Okay,” Miguel says. He sounds hopeful. “I’d want my best friend to know, too. I’ve known him all my life, so I trust him completely. And I want to tell my closest family.”

“Okay,” Whiskey agrees. It surprises him a little, that the mere thought doesn’t make him panic. “I don’t mind that.”

“I’ll be very clear that they can’t tell anyone else,” Miguel adds gently. “I’m sure they can handle that.”

“If you trust them, I trust you,” Whiskey reassures him. “Actually, it’s sweet. That you’d want them to know.”

“Of course I would.” Miguel smiles briefly. “Are you, uh. Are you close with your family?”

“Not… Not exactly.” It’s not a question Whiskey was expecting. “They’re very, um. Very traditional. I guess I usually go home for holidays and so on, but we don’t really talk a lot in between. I certainly don’t have plans to come out to them. One of my cousins knows, though. Beth. And actually, she’d kind of murder me if I didn’t tell her about you.”

“Well, we can’t have that.” Miguel tilts his head a little. “Are you out to anyone else?”

“A couple of people,” Whiskey admits. “Dex, our team captain, probably knows the most. He even knows about you. It’s actually his truck that I borrowed, today.”

“Yeah?” Miguel says. He sounds oddly pleased. “That’s cool. Anyone else?”

“This guy that I, um. That I hooked up with a few times last semester.” Whiskey clears his throat awkwardly. “And Bitty, our captain last year, although he found out accidentally. Oh, and you. Although I guess that’s completely obvious.”

“I’d say I’m aware, yeah,” Miguel agrees cheerfully. “You know, I actually ended up googling that former captain guy, Bitty, after the hockey party. His fiance is kind of a really big deal in hockey, isn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Whiskey agrees. “He’s the first openly gay male NHL hockey player, and a Stanley Cup champion.”

Miguel hums. “There’s really no one else, in the NHL?”

“Not yet, no.” Whiskey takes a breath. “And I’m honestly not too inclined to be the second.”

“Right,” Miguel says. He sounds less startled than Whiskey expected him to. “You know, that thought actually crossed my mind when you first told me about wanting to go pro. Even though you weren’t actually out to me then. I’ve heard some really questionable things about locker rooms in hockey.”

“I’ve heard my fair share of questionable things in those locker rooms.” Whiskey sighs. “It’s part of why I have so much respect for Bitty and Zimmermann. They’re really important to a lot of queer hockey people out there, and they’ve done so much to make things better. If Zimmermann wasn’t the only out player in the league, that would really change things for both of them. But I’m, I just… I want to play hockey. There’s nothing else I care about as much. But that doesn’t mean that I could do what they do, or that I’m prepared to go through everything they’ve overcome. Maybe that makes me selfish, but it’s just how I feel.”

Miguel hums.

“I get that,” he says. There’s a weight to his words that feels significant, somehow. “If I’m honest, I don’t know if I could do that, either. It’s actually a relief, in a way, that you’re not asking me if I’d be prepared to face that alongside you.”

Whiskey turns to look at Miguel properly. He wasn’t expecting that.

“I’ve never thought of it that way,” he admits. “I was too busy worrying that you’d be against the idea of not being completely open about… About us.”

Miguel meets his eyes steadily.

“It’s really okay, Whiskey. I don’t need to kiss you for all the world to see, so long as I know where we stand.”

“Yeah?” Whiskey asks. And for the first time since they’ve sat down, he finds himself smiling. “That’s, uh. That’s really great. Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me,” Miguel says gently. “So. I guess this means it’s my turn, now?”

Whiskey blinks. Right. Miguel had been trying to say something, too.

“Sure, yeah,” he agrees. “Go ahead.”

“Don’t worry, okay? It’s genuinely nothing bad.”

“Alright.”

Miguel takes a breath. Apparently, whatever the not-bad thing is, he’s still nervous to say it. Which isn’t at all alarming.

“So, you know how I’ve been hoping to get a room at the water polo frat?” Miguel begins tentatively. “I’ve kind of changed my mind about that, a little bit. I love my team, but I already see them all the time, and the reason I want to move out of the dorms is so that I can have a space that’s more my own. Somehow, I don't think I'd feel that way with all my idiot teammates around.”

“Good instincts,” Whiskey interjects. “I could tell you stories.”

Miguel smiles.

“I’ve actually found a small apartment just off campus that’s surprisingly affordable. I think it might be because the layout of the kitchen area is, like, so impractical that it’s got to be on purpose, but I could definitely make it work.”

“Well. Sounds like a good option.”

“Yeah, I think I’m gonna take it,” Miguel says carefully. “It’s, um. It’s actually no more than a ten minute walk from your hockey house. And it’d be, you know. Something a little more private.”

“Oh,” Whiskey says. He frowns slightly. “You really don’t have to do that, for me.”

“I’m not only doing it for you,” Miguel reminds him firmly. “Like I said, I want something that’s more my own place. This seems like my best option.”

“Well,” Whiskey says, considering. “If you’re sure. It, uh. It does actually sound really nice. I think I might visit you quite a lot.”

“You’d be more than welcome to,” Miguel says. He grins. “Hey. Can I say something?”

Whiskey blinks.

“You just did, I think?”

“Yeah, well.” Miguel grins a little wider. “See, I don’t want to come on too strong, here, and start talking about our lives several years from now. Sounds familiar?”

“... Oh.” Whiskey feels startled in the best way possible. “I guess?”

“It’s just… If I had a wishlist, eventual cohabitation would probably be somewhere near the top.” Miguel tilts his head a little. “Just thought I’d put that out there.”

“Yeah?” Whiskey manages, a bit unsteadily. “I, uh. I’d definitely be open to having that conversation. At some point.”

“Okay. Cool.” Miguel averts his gaze for a second, looking back at the ocean tank before them. His smile, Whiskey thinks, is perfectly lovely. “So. Do you... Should we head back?”

Whiskey frowns. He’s more than aware of the fact that there’s several exhibits they haven’t even gone anywhere near, yet. Miguel must know that, too.

“Isn’t there stuff left to see?” he wonders, a little unsurely.

“We can come back,” Miguel says quickly. He turns back towards Whiskey, and there’s a look in his eyes that immediately earns him Whiskey’s full attention. “Right now, I’d rather just be somewhere a bit more... Somewhere we can be alone. And my roommate’s actually gone for the weekend, so. I was thinking…”

Oh.

Whiskey gets to his feet.

They don’t waste any time making their way back to the truck. Whiskey starts the ignition, his mind occupied with calculating how long the drive might take. As he puts the truck in reverse and starts backing up, Miguel makes some sort of noise next to him.

Whiskey glances over, surprised to find that Miguel’s expression is… Tense. Or something.

“Never mind me,” Miguel mutters through his teeth. “Just, um. Just drive.”

It reminds Whiskey of what Miguel had said to him that same morning, after he’d gone oddly quiet and… Stared at Whiskey’s hand on the gearshift. Huh.

Whiskey pauses after backing up. He raises both eyebrows in question.

“Oh, fuck you,” Miguel says, his weak tone a definite contrast to his choice of words. “Look, it’s really stupid. You’re gonna think I’m an idiot.”

“I mean, maybe,” Whiskey allows. He still doesn’t keep driving. “Does it help if I promise not to take the piss?”

“Persistent, aren’t we?” Miguel mutters. He sighs. “Ugh. Fine. It’s just… You drive stick.”

Whiskey blinks.

“Is that, like… A whole thing for you?”

“Oh, shut it,” Miguel grumbles. “This is hardly my fault, okay, I really can’t be blamed for being stupidly attracted to you.”

Whiskey probably shouldn’t smile as widely as he does – he literally just promised Miguel that he wouldn’t make fun of him. “Stupidly, huh.”

“Well, yes!” Miguel exclaims. And suddenly, it’s like a pair of proverbial floodgates have opened. "Did you know that every time you open your ridiculously hot mouth in class and something highly intelligent spills out, I die a little bit?”

Whiskey blinks. Fuck. If there’s one thing in this world that he didn’t know, it’s definitely that.

Miguel continues before he has the chance to respond.

“And God, you couldn’t warn a guy before making me watch you dominate that hockey game like you single-handedly invented skating? Believe me, I am sincerely, stupidly into you – you with your ridiculous face, and that brain, and those muscles, Jesus. You are quite literally the whole package and it's honestly so completely infuriating.”

Whiskey swallows. He can’t seem to look away from Miguel, who is actually glaring at him, now, and that shouldn’t be the best thing that’s happened to Whiskey all day. And it kind of isn’t better than their pivotal conversation earlier, if Whiskey thinks about it logically and rationally, which he would absolutely do if Miguel wasn’t looking at him like that.

“Right,” Whiskey finally manages in response. “Gotcha.”

Miguel narrows his eyes.

“Listen,” he says. His voice is low, and raw, and determined. Whiskey’s breath hitches. “You’re going to drive us back to campus, and I’m going to take you up to my room, and, if you'll let me, I’m going to spread you out on my bed and make you feel every deliciously bittersweet moment of frustration that I've suffered on your account. God knows you've deserved it."

“Um.” Whiskey swallows, twice, and then attempts a deep breath. His brain might have short-circuited a little bit. “Is this a good time to mention that you talking like that is kind of really doing it for me?”

“No,” Miguel says evenly, despite the fact that Whiskey can see the clearly pleased smile tugging at his lips. “Just, for God’s sake, Whiskey. Drive. Now.”

Whiskey forces himself to look back ahead. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Miguel follow the movements of his hand as he carefully changes gears.

Boston, Whiskey thinks dizzily, is entirely too far away from Samwell.

(ch. 16)

[copperbadge]

Do you have any thoughts about the announced adaptation of 'the City Watch' books by BBC America? Opinions seem pretty mixed in the fandom and I'd love to hear your take?

For a show I was almost definitely never going to watch from the outset, I have more thoughts about the Watch adaptation than I really know what to do with, to be honest. It’s actually hard to assemble them coherently. 

There are basically three strands of opinion I have about watching The Watch: personal, critical, and literary. 

The personal: 

I don’t have a great history of enjoying media adaptations of Terry Pratchett’s work. One reason I didn’t watch Good Omens until a month or two after its release is that I knew this about myself and I didn’t want to turn it on, get disappointed, and turn it off, as I’d done with The Hogfather (we need not speak of The Animated Soul Music, lord). Granted, the Death books are not my favorites, so I was never going to deeply engage with The Hogfather, and then they came out with The Colour Of Magic, another non-favorite, so I skipped it, and so I was super disengaged by the time Going Postal came out (though I should really give Going Postal a chance because I do love Going Postal as a book). So I acknowledge this isn’t objective, this is personal, but it’s still a factor.  

So I’m not coming into this whole situation with The Watch as someone who actually wants, or enjoys, TV adaptations of Pterry’s books, Good Omens notwithstanding – and let’s be real, Good Omens is an outlier. It was a collaboration, one of the original authors had deep control over the adaptation, and also Good Omens isn’t a Discworld book. It’s much more thoroughly rooted in our known reality, which makes it easier to convey to television. But my ultimate point is that when I hear about a Discworld book being adapted to TV, I shrug and move on. I have the books. I don’t need the shows. 

The critical: 

I think it is a bad habit of fandom that we extrapolate a lot of inference from a relatively small amount of data – we tend to take a couple of photos, a press release, some casting information, and very quickly make a large set of assumptions. It’s not necessarily that these assumptions are wrong, but we jump to a lot of conclusions. I’m thinking of early backlash over Good Omens, which I don’t even remember what it was about but I remember Gaiman having to get pretty stern about “could you wait until at least the trailer is out before jumping down my throat”. I’m also thinking of the casting of David Thewlis as Remus Lupin, which was not well-received until we saw more than blurry set photos. 

Now, all that having been said, some of the casting news has been…difficult. On the one hand, a Black Sybil Ramkin? Sign me the fuck up. On the other, I know that for a lot of people, having a Sybil who is both large and older is really important (I think it’s important too). Especially if Vimes is older, it’s creepy and backwards to have Sybil be young and hollywood-idea-of-pretty (even if the time travel element is involved, it gets into a weird area). Also, I’m really over only ever casting people of color as villains or supporting-role-women. Vimes canonically comes from a “poor but respectable” neighborhood that could easily be reframed as an ethnic neighborhood, which would be especially pointed and interesting given his family’s long connection to the history of the city. An Indian or part-Indian Sam Vimes would be really, really interesting and cool, for example. 

There’s also a lot of discussion about casting a nonbinary person as Cheery and explicitly setting Cheery up as nonbinary, as opposed to explicitly a trans woman*, especially since in the books she identifies as a woman, not as nonbinary. But I’m not entirely sure if Cheery as nonbinary is actually going to be canon or if that’s just the reporting on the show not knowing how to handle the whole Female Dwarf situation. Not everyone interprets Cheery as trans at all, either, because of how dwarf gender identity works, which complicates matters somewhat, so I’m not going to wade too far into these waters. I do think it’s great enby actors are getting work in enby roles, but there’s some issues there that need further examination. 

(* Note -- corrected the above after it was pointed out to me that NB are not trans light; I’ve changed it to trans woman rather than trans-as-umbrella-term, more here.)

So I think overall it’s early days to make a lot of calls about what The Watch will and won’t be, but I also think there’s a lot of reason to be concerned and annoyed, and that brings us to the real, hardcore reason that I saw the first reporting on The Watch and immediately noped out: 

The literary:

“Punk rock thriller.”

Oh go fuck yourself. 

Despite everything I said above about not making snap judgements I immediately read that it would be a dark punk rock thriller police procedural and went “Well, guess that’s that” and walked away from the idea of being even vaguely excited about this show, because what I read demonstrated a basic, fundamental lack of grip on what the Watch books are about. 

One, the Watch books aren’t about crime. They really genuinely aren’t. The crimes are macguffins on which to hang social commentary about other things entirely. Even in the very earliest Watch books, when Pterry was still mostly making fun of high fantasy, the crimes the Watch investigated were committed in the service of a larger discussion about things like totalitarianism, interculturalism, and civic life. There’s at least one moment, and I believe several but I’d have to re-read the books to be sure, where Pterry explicitly makes fun of murder mysteries where the hero Solves Crimes Like Sherlock Holmes. Vimes hates clues. Feet Of Clay has an extended subplot about how you 100% cannot trust clues even when the author is the one feeding them to you. I do not want a Watch series that is about Clues.  

Two, the Watch books are explicitly the antithesis of the action genre. They have action in them, but the point is that nobody in these books are action heroes; they’re ordinary people attempting to go about their jobs in a situation where that constantly becomes increasingly difficult. I read “punk rock thriller” and I thought to myself of the dedication of Guards! Guards!: 

They may be called the Palace Guard, the City Guard, or the Patrol. Whatever the name, their purpose in any work of heroic fantasy is identical: it is, round about Chapter Three (or ten minutes into the film) to rush into the room, attack the hero one at a time, and be slaughtered. No one ever asks them if they want to. This book is dedicated to those fine men.

This does get a bit tricky because by the end of Snuff, Vimes is very heroic, almost too heroic for my comfort, but at the same time his heroism is of a very specific sort: he is heroic not because he slaughters the palace guard who get in his way or shoots the baddie or blows up a cop car with a helicopter (or vice versa) but because he deeply, intensely hates those things, and wants nothing to do with them. He is heroic because he is forced into it by circumstance, but spite in the face of monstrousness is what powers him. I think of The Fifth Elephant, where Vimes has just killed a werewolf: 

There were a lot of things he could say. “Son of a bitch!” would have been a good one. Or he could say, “Welcome to civilization!” He could have said, “Laugh this one off!” He might have said, “Fetch!” But he didn’t, because if he had said any of those things then he’d have known that what he had just done was murder.

I don’t trust someone who thinks The Watch should be reimagined as a thriller to understand Sam Vimes. Like, there’s room for interpretation as to Vimes’ character, but there is a fundamental underlying bedrock Vimes is built on and if you don’t grasp the broad points of that, you’re just writing a cop show with some names stitched on.  

Three, the Watch books aren’t a static series, they aren’t like cozy mysteries where the circumstances change but the hero rarely does. That’s nothing against cozy mysteries; I love mystery novels and some of my favorites involve characters who don’t even age over the course of the forty years the books were written in. But you cannot pastiche the Watch and expect it to work. 

Again this is a bit of extrapolation based on low amounts of data but I think it’s probably accurate – the casting indicates that either we’re dealing with the events of Night Watch or at the very least heavily engaged with aspects of it. But Night Watch, while I think it’s one of Pterry’s best books hands down, doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It is one point in a very specific developmental arc, not just for Vimes but for the entire Watch. If we’re dealing just with the plot of Night Watch (which I don’t think we are) that’s tough to pull off. If, as I suspect, they’re going to be pulling from various aspects of various Watch books, then that’s just fucking nonsense. 

Even Carrot, who is a very constant figure, undergoes some fundamental shifts in personality between Guards! Guards! and, say, The Fifth Elephant. Vimes, while maintaining his personal moral and ethical code, undergoes a radical shift between Guards! Guards! and Night Watch, and he continues to develop emotionally and in some ways spiritually up until Snuff. The Vimes who bitches about diversity in hiring in Men At Arms will not react to any given situation the way the Vimes who befriends the goblins in Snuff will. 

And because these books also all address very specific issues, you can’t just slam them all together and expect to get anything resembling the Watch as Pterry envisioned it over the course of the books.

So while I love the comedy, the characters, the plots, even the macguffin crimes, I believe that a Watch book – a Discworld book of any kind – without that satirical bite is just a high-fantasy husk. There’s no point to it, nothing that sets it apart from a bad Saturday Night Live skit about Game of Thrones. The tv series might actually turn out great and all my concerns will have been unfounded, but first looks aren’t promising on a number of really basic levels. 

So we’ll see. If I’m wrong, great; the show will probably electrify fandom in the same way Good Omens did. If I’m right, well, I had no hopes to begin with, so I’ll just enjoy re-reading Night Watch, which is the book that got me back into fandom and which you can all blame for my presence here today. :D

[jamaisjoons]

(1/7) I'm sorry this is going to be super long, so if you actually answer this I'll be so thankful lol... idk how much experience you have in relationships and sexuality and whatnot but I just really need to ask someone about this and you seem super friendly and nice so I wanted to ask you, and if anyone else reading this ask wants to give me advice I'd love and appreciate that as well - I'll keep an eye on the comments 💜 So I've been in a relationship for over 5 years now. I want to preface

this ask is incredibly long and if therefore the rest, along with my response, is under the read more!

(2/7) this with saying that I'm not unhappy with my relationship overall. And I honestly do prioritize emotional connection over physical, but this is something that's been on my mind recently, especially since I started getting into reading fanfics and learning more about how diverse and explorative someone can be with sexuality. My current boyfriend was my first serious relationship so I never experienced anyone else sexually. And I know stories romanticize, dramatize, and exaggerate things

(3/7) so I don't expect that I should be able to experience my sex life exactly as its portrayed in the fictions I read. I've been generally content with my sex life with my boyfriend, while maybe not fully satisfied but content. But lately its been bothering me. I've always had a higher drive than him so I don't mind needing to... take care of myself most days and just have sex whenever he's up for it. (Although he gets whiny if I'm not up for it the day he is, which I guess is partly fair

(4/7) since there's only like 2 days a month I'm not horny lol). And I do tend to take quite a bit longer to uh... well, cum, than he does as well so I've never really taken any offense to him not trying super hard to get me there. Lately it has been bothering me though... he does give effort to it most of the time but gives up because he has trouble getting the right spots and/or it takes a long time (and yeah I chalk that up to female anatomy being more complicated than male so while it is

(5/7) disappointing, I excuse it because of that) But it bothers me because I feel like I try to push myself more to figure out what he likes and try different things out of my comfort zone more than he does for me. (i.e. I've recently started trying to get used to anal even though so far its painful and I haven't found pleasure in it yet because it's something he's always wanted to do). He also loves blow jobs and always wants one - kind of expects it and gets disappointed if I tell him I don't

(6/7) want to that day and sometimes (most of the time) tries to push it, even though I don't push him if he doesn't want to go down on me. I've more or less given up on trying to cum when we have sex, just kind of settled on enjoying it for a while and helping him and then finishing myself off after. I'll sometimes ask him to help afterwards, and he'll help with some stimulation like nipple play and stuff for a bit, but if he's already gotten his release I feel like he treats it like a chore.

(7/7) It's just been bothering me more and more lately. I'm worried about talking to him about it because idk if I'm just being needy or if he'll be offended or upset. And I don't really know how to fix it anyway so idk how to bring it up or any solutions to offer but since its been bothering me more I don't want to just leave it as it is. Do you have any advice for me? Also I'm SO SORRY for the novel and going probably too detailed into my sex life... I hope this wasn't bothersome or annoying!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

i’m gonna preface this with im not a professional and any advice i give is based on my own feelings and thoughts and based on experiences of my own and they won’t be the same as yours! please take caution reading/heeding any of my advice because really i’m not any different to you and i have no real qualifications for giving out sexual advice.

so honestly speaking, i have a fear of commitment and trust issues and as a result i don’t very often partake in committed relationships (i’ve been willingly and happily single for YEARS) - and my previous ones weren’t all that good either (my last two ended with cheating rip). but i’m happy to help in any way possible and it means a lot that you feel like you can speak to me about this!

Okay so, my first point is that sex is honestly diverse and yes its always mindblowing in fics, but in reality its not always the case. sometimes sex is bland, sometimes its really good, and sometimes you don’t really enjoy yourself (not in a bad or nonconsensual way, but more it doesn’t leave you as fulfilled as it could and it just feels,,,, meh for a lack of better word for it). that being said, considering you’ve been in a relationship for a long time and it’s your first and (i assume only? sexual partner) i can potentially see why its just been a case of contentment and not real fulfilment - especially, since it seems you haven’t really been communicating and taking each other’s feelings into consideration? well him more so than you.

Side point, he really shouldn’t be whining if you don’t want to have sex but as long as he’s not pressuring you into anything its fine - people tend to whine (i know i do sometimes too)

Okay so in terms of cumming, not everyone takes the same amount of time to cum. some really need lots of stimulation and stuff in order to really cum and others cum really quickly. its an individual thing - but you definitely seem like the former. That being said, just because you take longer to cum and the female anatomy is more complex (really its not t H A T hard) doesn’t mean he should give up - you work hard for him to make him cum and he should do the same for you. especially since you’ve been together for so long.

A lot of this seems that you’re actively trying more than he is (you’re not obligated to give him oral, especially if he doesn’t reciprocate and he definitely shouldn’t push it). In terms of anal, the human body is different from person to person and not everyone is wired the same. just because someone else enjoys anal doesn’t mean you will, and if it’s painful and you’re not enjoying it, perhaps it’s best to tell him to stop because you get nothing out of it. if he loves you, he’ll make the sacrifice even if he enjoys it (like you’ve been doing for him this entire time). If he’s cummed and he’s not actively wanting to make you cum - you need to call him out on it because it's not fair for him to orgasm and for you to work for it yourself. it’s downright selfish and bad sexual practices and more than anything its not okay and its not a healthy sex life.

I think my best advice right now is to actually talk and communicate with him. A good, healthy sexual relationship that satisfies both parties, can only and will only ever be possible through open communication. you’ve been together five years and you’ve said you’re happy with your relationship overall - which means that you’ve known each other long enough to openly communicate with each other about your likes/dislikes/things you want to try/how they can help. Thats the blanket one, but here are some things you can talk to him about:

In terms of making you cum - you know your body better than anyone else, so perhaps showing him what places are your erogenous zones may be an effective way. If you feel comfortable, sit in front of him and masturbate - show him what gets you off. Sometimes even have him participate - direct his hands to where you want him, tell him when something feels good, when something doesn’t feel so good. but communicate

Tell him that you always try for him and it’s upsetting and makes you feel unsatisfied when he doesn’t put in the same enthusiasm. in sexual relationships, there is compromise and sometimes you do things you don’t necessarily enjoy just as an act of love and care (one of my irls hated giving her boyfriend blowjobs but she used to do it because he enjoyed them and that's okay because she was willing to do it out of love. there were also things he compromised for her like how he never enjoyed wearing condoms because it didn’t feel as good but she didn’t want to go on birth control so he accepted it). There are clearly things you are willing to compromise on (anal) and so he should be doing the same for you

You’re both different people and have different sexual interests and what feels good for you. You should both put in effort to explore these together. Have an actual conversation with him - and if he doesn’t take your feelings, if he starts getting upset or offended, then that speaks more for him. but if he loves you, if he’s a good partner and boyfriend, he will actively listen to you and your feelings and try and understand them. without communication sex and relationships are nothing and you cannot be afraid to speak to him or not speak to him for fear of him reacting negatively.

also if he does reactively, maybe it’s worth considering if this relationship is worth going on with. sometimes people stay with each other because it’s all they know, because they’ve been together for a long time and they fear starting fresh. but that is not healthy. if something isn’t working, no matter how much time and effort you’ve put into it, it’s not worth staying and being unhappy and the best thing you can do is gather the courage to get up, leave and move on and find happiness somewhere else.

i think ? i’ve got most of my points across, but if there’s anything you need clarification on, please do feel free to message me again! but please remember my earlier disclaimer: i am in no way shape or form a professional and i have no qualifications in order to give you advice. these are just my thoughts/opinions/how i see things!!

anyway, i hope this helped! i’m so sorry it took so long to get back to you!

[renorasims]

First impression and thoughts

I'm actually quite excited for this game pack due to the theme of it! Not only because it's a big homage (in my opinion) to a previous game but also because it's quite different then previous content.

Judging from the trailer and released screens i guess this pack is going to be loaded with goodies in buy/build and a portion of it in cas. I'm really dying for more stuff to make mobile homes and everything that you expect to find around a home like that so this is a good thing to me! Anddd more fences I mean... I'll always need more fences! I was dying for a decent size white picked fence!

I also love the hairstyles that they're going to add! it complements the game and feels like they're filling the 'missing pieces' that the game has regarding style diversity, etc. I seriously a straw hat?! Not sure why i'm so excited about that XD

My first impression of the town StrangerVille (based on the trailer) is that it could also serve as an old western town which i love! I'm not particularly fond of the name though. And it bothers me a bit that to this day we still cannot change that in game without mods. I mean i get the wink to Strange-town but given the fact that the whole pack is already a hommage to it i would have given it a different name. I love the overall vibe of the town; a bit 'area 51-ish meets rural area' which I totally dig! I've always been fascinated by stories behind that site. 

Concerns

I'm pretty excited for the pack but I do have 1concern regarding the gameplay side of it. 

Judging from the trailer they decided to go with a scripted story which is fine but what happens if you figure it all out? would it still be interesting enough to lurk around?

I hope the pack still offers players the freedom to explore the world and create their own stories without being forceful regarding the story behind it. Similar to Forgotten Hollow.

I've also seen some people being concerned about the size of the town which i understand after Del Sol Valley but remember that it's a game-pack. EDIT; it has 11 lots so not so small after all! I think the world-size will be similar to Forgotten Hollow which is fine in my opinion. It would be rather strange to have a huge world since the the whole point of it is that it revolves around a small town...

Conclussion

I'm excited about it given the fact that it seems loaded with new content that I can really use when playing this game. Also from a creator's perspective! I'd love to create all kinds of new goodies for you guys!

[clexa--warrior]

Fear The Walking Dead' continues its losing streak in Sunday night's episode 'Ner Tamid.'

Credit: AMC

Sunday night's episode of Fear The Walking Dead was a little bit better than the rest of this half of the season, and I think I know why: There was no Morgan!s

Morgan and Al are off doing their own thing, and miraculously we didn't hear from either one this week. That's good! Sadly, we also didn't get any Alicia. She remains one of the only characters I still like on this show, though the past few episodes have done their level best to character-assassinate her (she's probably off painting more trees at this point).

The rest of the episode was pretty much about as pointless as the rest of the episodes in Season 5. Charlie "runs away" from the convoy to go find some place for them to stay, so that they're not always on the move. Finding a place to stay is a really good idea. Running off on your own in the zombie apocalypse is stupid beyond all reckoning, and I wish the writers and producers would stop making the characters act like such absolute dunces every week.

It appears the real problem is June, who is apparently in charge of the caravan and its 36 members. She's driving them all hard, not letting them stay in one place long, no rest for the weary and all that jazz. Even John Dorie is like "Hey June, baby, I love you but this is ridiculous," but it falls on deaf ears. I'm not sure why June is acting like this, or why she's suddenly in charge, or why they have a caravan instead of a base to begin with, but that doesn't matter. Fear The Walking Dead just does stuff, and we're just supposed to eat it up without questioning anything.

I think that's the only way people can still enjoy this show--just don't ask any questions, don't think about anything too much, don't expect anything remotely like logic or realism or human nature to figure into it at all.

In any case, Charlie makes yet another new friend while out on her own. This time it's a Jewish Rabbi, Jacob Kessner, who lives all by himself at his old synagogue. All his former flock are now zombies, calling to mind Father Gabriel from The Walking Dead (though Kessner is much less annoying than Gabriel, who I still can't stand). Charlie thinks this would be a good place for the survivors to settle down, but things don't work out. Before the end of the episode, the safe haven is overrun and Kessner is out of a home. Shocking. We've never seen the survivors show up and ruin a good thing before! (That's sarcasm, by the way. Everywhere our heroes go falls apart, from the family on the island to the Mexican villa, to the ranch, to the kids' treehouse this season).

June and Dorie show up and there's some zombie action, but we know nobody is going to actually get killed by a zombie. That hardly ever happens on this show. The last time I can think of it actually happening was when Madison died, but she died offscreen so we didn't even see it. There used to be some great zombie kills in previous seasons, but there's no reason to fear anything in Fear The Walking Dead these days.

That applies to Logan and his group of feckless, toothless bad guys. At one point they chase Sarah and Dwight--who looks ridiculous clean-shaven, though I suppose it's symbolic of his being totally neutered by the do-gooder sickness that's befallen the entire cast--and almost catch them but the tank shows up and saves the day. Of course, why they were so worried and running to begin with is beyond me. Recall last week when Morgan and Al were faced with a dozen of Logan's thugs and nothing happened. They just blocked the road and that's all. Are we supposed to think that this week things are so different that they pose an actual threat now?

Of course, it turns out that the whole thing was just a diversion. Logan wanted to distract the convoy. Apparently he's figured out where the oil fields are and he wanted Morgan's group as far away as possible which, uh, kind of sounds like what he did in the very beginning of this season by having them fly off to the nuclear power plant region. They're running out of ideas so fast it isn't even funny.

Is there even a story here? I mean, there are things that happen I guess, but is there a story? Let's try to parse it all together, shall we?

Season 5 starts with Morgan and most of the crew crash-landing a plane because they thought they were helping someone but it was just Logan tricking them so that he could take over the mill. The first half of the season is spent trying to get a new plane or fix the old plane so they can fly it back. There's also a nuclear power plant that's going to melt down, and we meet a new character, Grace, who is trying to prevent that. Eight episodes are spent on this dual-plot, with Strand and Charlie ultimately saving the day by bringing propellers in a hot air balloon to the heroes who then use their years of airplane mechanic experience to fix the plane and then fly successfully back to their own area of Texas because apparently that region has zero roads leading. It is a mystical island within the state of Texas that can only be reached by air (unless you're Dwight or his wife who apparently both managed just fine on solid ground).

So that's the first half of Season 5. Crash plane, fix plane, fly out. Logan has the mill. Then, bizarrely, at the very end of the first half of the season Logan tries to make a deal with them. This deal is not struck, we discover in the Season 5 midseason premiere, and Logan goes back to working with the thugs. I can't tell if they're working for him or he's working for them, because the show has done such a lousy, inconsistent job at explaining things to us.

Speaking of which, we learn that during the break, during the period of time that occurs off-screen between the two halves of this season, that Morgan has discovered where Polar Bear's oil fields are. And I guess he's also figured out how to refine oil into gasoline. And I guess this is what Logan was after the whole time, but they just neglected to introduce that conflict in any remotely comprehensible way. Now, five episodes into the back half of the season, the entire plot seems to be "Morgan and group go around helping people more while Logan tries to figure out where the oil fields are." Five episodes of filler with virtually nothing of any importance happening. Alicia meets the guy painting on all those trees. Morgan and Grace try and fail to spark a romance. Logan is mad at Morgan but does nothing about it. They film a stupid PSA and put it on VCRs with generators wherever they can so that people know that they're out there trying to help people.

None of this qualifies as a story, at least not really. The story, if it had to be boiled down, would be the conflict between Logan and Morgan's two groups. But that conflict barely exists, as evidenced by the times they've actually encountered one another and done nothing. At least Negan did stuff. At least the Saviors posed a threat, no matter how badly produced Seasons 7 and 8 of The Walking Dead were. At least there was a story.

Here we just have people driving around wasting gas, talking on walkie-talkies, rarely having realistic conversations or actually interesting struggles or conflicts. It's all contrived. You could probably boil down the entire 12 episodes we've seen so far into two and not lose anything.

Just take away the whole entire plane crash plot and have them tricked into leaving the mill. Then have Logan realize what he wanted in the mill wasn't there and go to war with Morgan to get the map to the oil fields. The oil fields themselves would be useless to Morgan since he doesn't know how to refine oil into gasoline, but he knows that Logan is bad news so he keeps that information from him anyways. Have Logan kill some of the good guys, and have that test Morgan's resolve to be a good person. Have Dwight show up as one of Logan's dudes, on the other side of the conflict, and have that make him question whether he's made the right choice.

I mean, I think you could probably get eight episodes out of this conflict, and then you could twist things around for the second half of the season. Morgan could snap again, go full killstreak mode. He and Alicia could break into two different groups and the conflict could continue between them somehow. This is all just spit-balling. The fact is, it would be fairly simple to come up with a better story for Season 5, with better and more natural conflicts. Actually, I'd have introduced Logan as a sympathetic character and had him join the group, had his treachery not manifest until it was too late. Make the betrayal sting.

But this is all fantasy. I want the same kind of tense conflict that drove Season 3, with sympathetic characters on both sides and no easy resolution. But what we're getting is a bunch of badly written filler episodes with no real purpose and an overarching conflict that makes no sense. Meanwhile, we get things like Al leaving all her tapes in a safe and then not bothering to even shut the lock boxes, and that's how Logan discovers the oil fields. We get John Dorie shooting a bullet at a hatchet blade so that it can split in two and kill a pair of approaching zombies. That's the kind of vapid writing this show has now. It's just sad.

Next week, Logan will use the oil fields to wipe out half of all living things in the universe and the week after that Al and June and Daniel will send Skidmark back in time in a time machine they built out of spare plane parts, and Skidmark's job will be to kill Polar Bear before he ever planted the oil seeds that eventually grew into the oil fields, but little do they know that Polar Bear is waiting for them . . . . it's a trap!

I just . . . I can't. I don't know what else to say. What a sad joke Fear has become.

[twstwonderlandstuff]

Haha sounds fun!

How did you get into Twst? A friend of mines introduced me to it and then I watched all 4 episodes and fell in love.

Whose hand did you take? Would you have changed it? (If you don’t have the game: Who was your initial favorite? Who is it now? Initially it was Ace. Now, it has expanded into Ace, Jack and Sebek. The first years are probably going to inhibit my heart too. Oh, and Catboy Grim because I ✨suck✨

Unpopular opinion about Twst? Not sure. Don't really have one.

Share something that’s special about Twst to you I like the contrast in the stories of the dorms in their world and ours. Its cool!

Favorite characters from each dorm? Hohoho... Heartslabyul: Ace Trappola Savanaclaw: Jack Howl Octavinelle: Floyd Leech Scarabia: Kalim Al-Asim! Pomefiore: Epel Felmier Ignihyde (is that how to spell idk): Ortho Shroud Diasomnia: Sebek Zigvolt.

Favorite card story/scene? Sebek's birthday card I mean COME ON MRS AND MR ZIGVOLT SO CUTE HELLO?!?!?!?

Favorite event? Halloween. It was really good.

Favorite ships? Ace x Deuce x Prefect (They all dote on 1 another) The first years x each other Jamil x Kalim if they were on good terms Malleus x Leona [its just funny to me okay]

Favorite BGM? PIECE OF MY WORLDDDDDDD

Favorite headcanon? They all help out YUU fix the dorm after each chapter.

Favorite dynamic? THE FIRST YEARS!!!

Ships you can’t stand? Teacher x Student relationship. I don't think I need to explain. I crossed some Divus x Jack pics on Pinterest and wanted to die

Do you have any Twst merch? Of course not!

Which dorm would you be in? God damn... UHH... I literally... don't know... I won't fit in any of them, I think, so I'll stick in good old Ramshackle.

How would you try to woo Eliza? Compliments! That actually mean something before having a converstaion with her and eventually giving her flirtatious remarks.

Which characters would you get along with irl? I guess the first years??? But everyone else just scares me LMAO

…Who would you stay away from? ALL THE DORM LEADERS. They... scary, man... well, with the exception of Malleus, but if we haven't met like in-game, then yeah, I'd avoid him 100%.

Anything you want to happen in-game in the future? WHAT HAPPEN TO MY SON, GRIM- WHY- ARE WE GONNA DIE AND BE IN DEBT TO IDIA/ORTHO CUZ HE SAVED US OR SOMETHIGN??? HELP.

Anything you would change? Uh... diversity in characters, I guess? IDK ASLVKNASDFLAVKNSDF

If you could date your [beloved] or whoever you simp for in-game, how do you think it'll go? Ace... we'd be fine, bantering here and there. Jack... OH MYGOD WOULD WE EVEN DATE BECUASE OF HIS CULTURE AND EVERYTHING Sebek... abseloutely. We'd go splendidly together trying to awkwardly hold hands and stuff.

Twst Anniversary Ask Game 🎉

I thought this would be fun, feel free to reblog this and have your followers send in asks!

How did you get into Twst?

Whose hand did you take? Would you have changed it? (If you don’t have the game: Who was your initial favorite? Who is it now?)

Unpopular opinion about Twst?

Share something that’s special about Twst to you

Favorite characters from each dorm?

Favorite card story/scene?

Favorite event?

Favorite ships?

Favorite BGM?

Favorite headcanon?

Favorite dynamic?

Ships you can’t stand?

Do you have any Twst merch?

Which dorm would you be in?

How would you try to woo Eliza?

Which characters would you get along with irl?

…Who would you stay away from?

Anything you want to happen in-game in the future?

Anything you would change?

(Make up a question!)

[squaredancing-weston]

text || Brobastian (Week 2)

Bas: Well, maybe it should be in a room full of mirrors, then. That way I get to see myself /and/ the other guy. Although I feel like just fucking me would actually take less effort than the teasing would. I mean, there's only so much of someone rutting against me that I can take - especially if they're murmuring in my ear about all of the different ways they plan on having me. That shit gets /exhausting/, Brodes - there comes a time where you just want someone to fill you up, or - fuck, I feel like riding them would be easier than just the /tease/. I mean not that the tease isn't all manner of hot, but, you know - there /are/ limits, and pushing them with me in this state would just be cruel, you know? Best just to give me the relief I need.

Bas: When your material revolves around crappy jokes at my expense, then that's just sad. Really - you have /one/ subject. I know you're obsessed with me, Brodes, but come on. Hey, I'm not the one trying to be a comedian, here. That's on you.

Bas: Can't say I've counted. What - you think I don't own any R&H? You underestimate me, as usual. While I appreciate ballet as an art form, yeah - no. Besides all of the dizziness, it really is just gonna send me to sleep again. I've slept enough. Why do you equate my ability to find people to sleep with to a lack of standards? While I might have had some questionable hook-ups in the past (all hot, just some... questionable people), I do like quality. Newbie Brody sounds adorable - man, I'd have loved to corrupt him - but I digress. Just because you're fine going home alone, doesn't mean we all need to do so. Don't get me wrong, there's been a night or two where I haven't hooked up, but it's really not very often. Why skip out on the chance for some good sex? Fine, fine - he can do the groundwork, but I'm making my intentions clear.

Bas: Man, you can be so dramatic sometimes, you know that? Tell you what - if I die from sex, you can rest assured that you were right, and I'll have gone out in probably the best way that I possibly could. I'm not /that/ sick - I'll be fine in a few days. I already told you - nobody said /anything/ about being ass-raped to death apart from you. Seriously, I worry about you sometimes.

Bas: He's been hovering, yeah. You don't really /need/ to angle Blaine - his ass is a good view no matter where he's standing in the room, so long as he's not directly facing you. Although the rest of him is perfectly pleasing to look at, too.

Bas: You mean there's no one to obsess over. Don't worry, Brodes - me and my ass will be back in no time. Oh, but if he's as bad as you claim he is, you're fine mocking over texts? So cruel. I don't deserve this shit. I didn't say anything about not liking it. If nothing else, she'll give me something to do during lunch hour. And by /do/, well.... I'm sure you know what I mean. Yeah, but what happens when she puts on Legally Blonde and they start thinking that they can get a law degree and win trials based on their perm maintenance knowledge? And I bet she wouldn't even show the Broadway version.

Brody: Doesn't a room full of mirrors mess with the reflection though? Like kind of skew the coloration or something, because it's just reflection on reflection on reflection, etc? But yeah-- I mean, you could definitely play with more than one, get all the angles. You're missing the point, Bas. The point isn't what would take the least effort: it's what has the biggest payoff. And since you can't really handle that level of exertion for at least another week, the tease has to last until you can properly enjoy it. So until then, they can really only get by themselves by talking about how intense it's going to get-- how they're going to spread you out, stretch you open one finger at a time, three fingers deep, before lapping up your ass like a cream to a cat. Fucking bringing you to a breaking point if you don't have their full, thick, throbbing cock inside of you, punching up against your sweet spot hard while their hands are //finally// reaching around, slicked up so they're wet and hot and completely covering you and just pumping like you guys haven't fucked in weeks-- which, you know, you haven't. Because you've been on bedrest and he's not going to fuck you until you're off. It's a medical thing, Bas-- I mean, it's that or nothing, you know? And I figured since //nothing// was basically killing you here, it'd make more sense this way, right?

Brody: I hardly see that as sad-- who deserves jokes at their expense more than the proud peacock? I mean really? And it makes everybody laugh. I cater to my audience, what can I say. And you're worse than they are, Bas-- I know you; you'd rather hear anything about yourself than the funniest jokes about anyone else. Tcha-- everyone's a critic until the light's on them.

Brody: Well, let me know when you think of a ballpark figure. //You// watch Rogers and Hammerstein? Like more than just in passing? You do know people usually fall in //love// in those shows, right? Without sex? Or are you sleeping through those parts? You realize sleep isn't the enemy, right? I mean, I'm not encouraging you to sleep through culture in its purest form, but if your body's trying to drag you under, that's usually a sign. It might have something to do with the fact that there's a limited number of bodies in Ohio and you've likely slept with the majority of them-- and they definitely could not have been all 10s, Bas. I wouldn't be surprised if you couldn't give some of them a 7 after you took off your beer goggles. Yeah, I'm familiar with the questionable aspect-- I've seen that scar on your back XD Hey-- Newbie Brody was still plenty experienced, just...a little gun shy. Let's just say I didn't leave Sparks without a little bit of crazy chasing me out. And if 22-year old Bas was when whips were involved in your sex life, I wouldn't really want to be corrupted, thanks. Well, I guess I just don't mind the break to focus on other things then. Sex isn't air for me. Bas, I've heard you guys talking-- I'm pretty sure your intentions are perfectly clear by now. Like bird flying into a window transparent.

Brody: //I// can be dramatic? That's a laugh, considering some of the shit I've seen you pull over the years. So I can write on your grave: Brody Told You So You Assless Peacock ? I mean, since if you die by //my// dick, I'm going to be in the next grave over, it seems only fair. Okay, okay-- you're just unnecessarily stuck on bedrest while coughing like hell. You're not sick. I'm still not sexing you up while you look like that. You know, when you say crap like that, it makes me believe you never even watched the show, much less read the books, and that hurts my feelings. I mean, did you think they'd be asking about the actor(s-- since the guy was recast three different times at least) or what? Because I'm pretty sure they would have clarified that point if that had been the case. Hey-- I didn't choose the dead guy. I chose the manipulative girl with experience.

Brody: well, so long as we're in agreement that his ass is way better than yours, I'll totally agree with that. I mean, personally, he's not really my type, but I don't blame you for pining over the innocent soul you failed to fully corrupt. Everyone has the one that got away, Bas.

Brody: I'm sorry, are you implying that I couldn't easily find someone else to talk to or about? Because I'm pretty sure that the conversation is significantly more diverse around the people that are actually //allowed// out of the house. Well, a) I can't see you, and 2) didn't you just say you were fine? XD Can't have it both ways, peacock. Speaking of obsession...you know you could always just stop answering, right?

Brody: [unsent] holy fuck please do not actually seriously consider that as an option-- why the fuck did I say that god fucking dammit I'm pathetic

Brody: I guess-- just make sure you wipe off the desk before and after-- and rinse out her mouth. God mayonnaise just bugs the crap out of me. I mean, obviously it's not hurting her, because she looks great, but why do people need their sandwiches to look like someone dumped a vat of glue on it? Yech. I admit, if your kids are watching Reese Witherspoon the Lawyer-based movies and not coming out of it with any worthwhile lyrics in their head, I'll be a little disappointed. But I'm sure she'd give them all time to perfect the bend-and-snap, since you won't be there to demonstrate whenever you need something from the principal XD