#Which Food Is Worst For High Blood Pressure

[harmeet-saggi]

Which Food Is Worst For High Blood Pressure?

Are you struggling to keep your blood pressure in check? The journey to maintaining a healthy blood pressure level involves a combination of lifestyle changes, including a balanced diet. In this comprehensive guide, we delve into the world of high blood pressure, exploring its symptoms, causes, and most importantly, identifying the foods that could be contributing to this silent yet serious condition.

[mcntsee]

— ★ tomorrow

↳ summary: “I wasted all those yesterdays, and now,—“ His words trailed off with a sigh, his eyes red-rimmed from hours of tears shed in the hospital, his gaze blurry as it searched for her face, “—What if I am completely out of tomorrows?”

↳ warnings: hospitals, mentions of gunshot wounds, pain, regret, not proof-read. No use of “y/n”

↳ author’s note: This is fluff, I promise the end is really sweet! This is also inspired by different, random, pinterest quotes my friends sent me. Enjoy!

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

No one enjoyed hospitals. The colors lacked vibrancy, the sounds became repetitive after a few minutes, the antiseptic smell was overpowering, the food tasted bland, and the anxious wait for news about a loved one was excruciating.

Unfortunately, the team was all too familiar with hospital waiting rooms, and even more unfortunate was their familiarity with being patients themselves.

Thankfully, the Federal Employees' Compensation Act provided some relief. Without it, they couldn't even begin to fathom the astronomical medical bills they'd be facing.

Tonight, however, finding themselves stuck in the uncomfortable chairs of the hospital waiting room had not been part of their plans.

The young genius's head throbbed relentlessly, a sensation he'd endured for weeks. The unimaginable pressure around his entire head, compounded with the bright light reflecting off the hospital's shiny white walls, the incessant beeping and the sounds of loved ones crying doing nothing other than intensify his discomfort.

The nurse they had bombarded with questions upon arrival had emerged not long ago to thankfully inform them that everything was alright. The surgery had gone well, and she was now in recovery. Soon enough, if they wished, they could stop by her new temporary room and visit her.

By now, most of the team had returned to the office. Hotch had been called back to work to tackle the pending files on their desks. Fortunately, he had allowed Rossi and Reid to remain behind. Ostensibly, their task was to update the team on her condition, but both of them understood that even if that hadn’t been necessary, there was no force on earth that could have budged Spencer from his spot, where he had been stationed for the last however many hours.

Spencer could feel David's gaze piercing through him. He wanted to snap at him, but he knew his current behavior had undoubtedly attracted more attention than just the older agent's. Clutching at his head, tugging on strands of hair intermittently, his leg bouncing up and down, with eyes tightly shut—his agitation was palpable.

“Kid, they said she’s alright. You need to relax.”

It was true, they had been told that, but it did little to reassure him. His mind raced through various worst-case scenarios. Her wound could become infected, or there might be undetected damage to internal organs. He fretted over potential complications like inflammation of the peritoneum, the formation of blood clots, or even damage to blood vessels leading to reduced blood flow to vital organs, potentially resulting in organ dysfunction or failure.

“The survival rate might seem high, but statistically speaking, complications can arise, even with the best medical care.”

“Spencer—“

“For instance, studies have shown that gunshot wounds to the abdomen carry a significant risk of infection, with rates as high as 20%. And there’s the possibility of peritonitis, which occurs in approximately 10% of cases.”

“Kid—“

“Organ damage is also a concern, particularly with injuries to vital organs like the liver or intestines. Even with the most advanced treatments—“

“Reid!”

For the first time since he sat down, his leg ceased its relentless movement. His hand, which had been tugging at the ends of his hair, relaxed and dropped to his lap, along with the hand he had been waving in the air to explain the statistics. His eyes unclenched, the worry in his brow disappearing as the rest of his facial muscles relaxed.

“What is going on, Spencer?”

The genius's eyes met the older agent's worried gaze with deliberate blinks, adjusting to the harsh fluorescent lights overhead while tuning out the cacophony of noise that surrounded them. “I just— I”

“I never told her and I— I don’t— “ His breathing was uneven, his words tumbling out faster than his mind could keep pace, his mouth struggling to articulate as his chest constricted with anxiety.

A gentle weight settled on his shoulder, its warmth grounding him as it gave a light shake, bringing him back to the present moment and prompting him to pause and take a breath.

“Rossi I- I devoted half my time since meeting her to loving her, only to spend the other half hiding it from her.”

With a sigh, the formerly retired agent settled down next to the much younger agent, his hands staying on the genius's shoulder as he shifted slightly to find a comfortable position.

Reid's gaze lingered on Rossi's face for a moment before he averted it, focusing instead on the bustling activity in the hallway where nurses and doctors hurried back and forth attending to patients.

“Every moment we shared, every laugh, every smile she graced me with, even in her unconscious gestures—“ His gaze returned to the hallway momentarily before lowering to where his hands rested on his knees. With a quick, almost imperceptible shake of his head, he cleared his throat. “Every time I looked at her, the words swelled in my throat. I longed to tell her how much she truly means to me, the happiness and peace she effortlessly brings into my world.”

“To tell her that I love her. That I have for a while now.”

David’s mouth opened, but before he could utter a word, Spencer's pointer finger shot up in the air, silencing any impending speech. It hovered there for a brief moment before his whole palm opened, effectively halting whatever words David had intended to say and then dropping back down to his lap.

“Every single time, I held back. I stopped myself from reaching out to her, from letting my true feelings spill out, from whispering all the things I desperately wished she knew.” His words cracked along with his voice as he, for the first time, admitted aloud feelings he had hidden for so long. “And with my heart pounding in my ears, I always just watched her, silently promising myself, ‘Tomorrow. I’ll tell her tomorrow.’”

“I wasted all those yesterdays, and now,—“ His words trailed off with a sigh that escaped his lips, his eyes red-rimmed from hours of tears shed in the hospital, his gaze blurry as it searched for the older man’s face, “—What if I am completely out of tomorrows?”

They sat in silence for a moment, the weight of Spencer's admission hanging between them until the ringing of a phone shattered the stillness. With a sigh, Rossi reached into his pocket, retrieving the vibrating phone and glancing at the contact name.

“She’ll be okay, kid.”

With one final, reassuring squeeze to his shoulder, the older man rose to his feet, his knee cracking audibly as he turned to leave. Despite his efforts at reassurance, Spencer's profound anxiety remained largely unchanged.

He felt utterly helpless, his mind desperately grasping for solutions, for the comforting embrace of statistical analysis with its reassuring numbers. But instead, there was only silence. For the first time in his life, his mind was empty, devoid of answers, devoid of the usual cacophony of thoughts and calculations.

He couldn't recall the moment the nurse returned to inform him that he could visit her, nor did he remember following the nurse into the room and settling down beside her bed.

He cast restless glances around the room, his eyes darting from one piece of medical equipment to another, then flitting to the walls and ceiling. His gaze moved incessantly, pausing only briefly before moving on, taking in every detail. Except for her.

Alone in the quiet with her, he couldn't bring himself to meet her frame. To look at her now would make everything feel too real, and his heart was already heavy with pain.

His body felt like it was betraying him. Breathing became labored, thoughts fragmented, and the pain in his heart seemed insurmountable.

He wanted to tell someone— no, he wanted to tell her, but he knew she wouldn’t have a solution like she always did. So he sat there, his hands nervously tugging at strands of hair, eyes squeezed shut against the overwhelming cacophony of beeping machines surrounding them.

His heart weighed heavily in his chest, burdened by the weight of pain, regret, and fear. It was a sensation he never wanted to experience again, a darkness that threatened to engulf him entirely.

Throughout the night, nurses came and went. Some spoke to him, gave him updates on her condition but he didn’t listen. He tried, he just couldn’t understand it.

As the first light of dawn crept over the horizon, he reluctantly turned his gaze toward her bed. His eyes lingered on her hand, once so delicate and warm in his, now adorned with tubes and wires connecting her to different machines.

With a heavy sigh, his eyes remained fixed on her hand as he leaned forward, feeling the strain in his back from hours of immobility. With gentle care, he reached out and clasped her hand in his, his thumb tracing soothing circles over the back of it, mindful of the wires and tubes.

He remained still for a moment, relishing the warmth of her hand in his before allowing his gaze to travel up her arm, eyes tracing the patterns of the thin, cream-colored blanket that draped over her midsection when they got there. Then, his gaze shifted to her other arm, positioned protectively over her stomach where the wound lay, as if guarding it from further harm.

He studied the blue hospital gown draped over her body, its hue accentuating the sickly paleness of her skin. He traced every curve, every wrinkle, every wire, everything until his eyes finally met her bruised face.

She looked so peaceful and beautiful, devoid of worry. The furrows that typically marked her brow now absent, her closed eyes darting beneath her lids.

Tears welled in his eyes, the overwhelming emotions washing over him as he gazed upon her form. There was no smile, no gentle words escaping her lips, just a faintly parted mouth and serene countenance.

“Please wake up.” he whispered, his voice raspy from not being used in hours. “Please.” The desperation in his voice was evident in the way it cracked, in the way his chest tightened, in the way his throat constricted.

But she didn’t. Not for two weeks.

The medics reassured the team that she was showing positive signs and was going to be fine. They explained that in cases of severe internal bleeding within the abdominal cavity, it was common for patients to take longer to regain consciousness. "Sometimes, this can lead to hypovolemic shock and reduced blood flow to vital organs, including the brain," said the doctor they were currently questioning, one arm cradling a notepad against his chest while the other gestured towards her on the hospital bed, "which contributes to the prolonged unconsciousness she's experiencing."

Once the team's questions were answered, the doctor turned towards the door, his pen moving rapidly across the notepad as he scribbled something down. Upon reaching the door, he paused, pivoting back to face them. "While I can't predict the exact timeline for her awakening, I want to reassure you that we're doing everything we can to support her recovery." Tucking his pen back into his chest pocket, he scanned the room, meeting each person's gaze before lingering on on the genius’.

"Every individual responds differently to trauma and surgery, and it's not uncommon for patients to take some time to regain consciousness," he said, his tone gentle and reassuring, his kind smile directed at Spencer. "However, I want to emphasize that she's showing positive signs of progress, and her body is responding well to treatment. She should be waking up soon." With a final nod in the genius’ direction, he opened the door and disappeared into the flow of medical staff and patients outside her room.

The doctor's reassuring words and comforting demeanor provided Spencer with a small sense of relief.

As the days stretched on, nearing the two-week mark since her surgery, Spencer's exhaustion was becoming more evident. Dark circles underlined his eyes, his hair unkempt, and he felt the weight of fatigue settling into his bones. Sitting by her bedside day after day had taken its toll, leaving him feeling drained and with a sore backside.

It wasn’t until night, when he was alone with her again that he made a promise. “If you wake up tomorrow, I promise—“ He delicately released her hand, curling his fingers into a fist before extending his pinky finger to link with hers. “I pinky promise,” he whispered, a soft, trembling laugh escaping his lips as he recalled her insistence that a promise was only truly binding if sealed with a pinky. “If you wake up tomorrow, I’ll tell you everything.”

He had made up his mind days ago, swearing to himself that the moment she regained consciousness, he would lay everything bare. He hoped that verbalizing the promise would somehow penetrate her unconsciousness and draw her back to him.

As the night wore on and the room bathed in the soft glow of predawn, his senses awakened to a subtle movement near his head, his mind clouded with confusion as he remained still, trying to grasp his surroundings.

He found himself in a hazy state, unable to pinpoint the exact moment sleep had claimed him, yet the sensation of their linked pinkies lingered, his other hand placed gently on her leg, while his head rested on the bed.

It wasn’t until he felt his pinky being squeezed that Spencer’s senses sharpened, his back straightening with a crack as his eyes snapped into focus on her. The familiar furrow returned to her brow as she squeezed her eyes shut, her free hand instinctively reaching up to rub at her forehead.

His breath caught in his throat, his body frozen as he stared at her, his heart pounding loudly in his ears.

“Spence?”

Her voice was raspy, her tone confused as her eyes opened and scanned the room. Without hesitation, he rose from his seat, hands releasing hers as he hurried to the table with the water bottles. He swiftly grabbed one, unscrewing the cap as he returned to her side.

She struggled to lift herself up on her elbows, her eyes tracking his movements, fixated on the open water bottle as he presented it to her. With a gentle nod from her, he brought the bottle closer, tipping it carefully as it reached her parched lips, his other hand positioned beneath her chin, ready to catch any droplets that might escape.

After consuming almost half of the bottle, she gently pushed it away from her lips, taking a moment to swallow the last gulp before lying back down.

He remained in a state of shock, his mind racing faster than it had in weeks, attempting to process the moment as he observed her shifting, striving to find a comfortable position.

“Spence?”

“You—” he began, his words trailing off as he struggled to articulate his thoughts. “You are awake.”

At his words, a gentle smile, the one he had longed to see for weeks, graced her lips. She nodded in acknowledgment as she looked at him. Without hesitation, he moved forward, enveloping her in a tight embrace, being careful not to hurt her. "You're awake," he whispered softly, his face nuzzling into her neck.

He knew he was supposed to call a nurse in —something the staff had reminded him of repeatedly— , but in that moment, he couldn’t bear to let her go. So, he held her tighter, his arms enveloping her as if protecting her from everything, his hand gently cradling the back of her head, thumb tracing soothing circles as he drew her closer.

They stayed like that for what felt like an eternity before he released her from his embrace, his body reluctantly withdrawing from her warmth. His hands remained, tenderly cupping her face as he gazed into her eyes, memorizing every detail of her being.

"I have to tell you something," he whispered, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. The familiar nerves and doubt flooded back, causing his heart to race so fast that he knew that if he had been the one hooked up to the machines, medics would have surely burst into the room thinking someone was having a heart attack.

He hesitated, his eyes lingering on her face, absorbing every detail illuminated by the gentle glow of the sun filtering into the room.

In his hesitation, his mind revisited every memory he shared with her. He recalled the moments he wanted to confess but held back, as well as his conversation with Rossi. Then, the memory of their pinky promise last night resurfaced, reminding him of his commitment. He couldn’t break a pinky promise.

“Spencer?”

“I love you.” There. He said it. His gaze lowered in fear of rejection, the nerves in his stomach growing, but he kept going, he had to. “I am so unimaginably in love with you.”

“Spencer—“

“No, I need—“ he paused, his eyes brimming with unshed tears, gazing still fixated downward as he cleared his throat from the imaginary knot that was beginning to form there. “I need you to know that every time you smile, every time you laugh, every time you talk to me, it’s like my whole world lights up.”

“And when you look at me, it’s like everything else fades away, and there’s just you.” With a deep inhale, he squeezed his eyes shut, colors swirling behind his eyelids from the pressure, before slowly exhaling and looking up to meet her gaze. “I can’t even scientifically explain how you make me feel. There is no book, or research article that explains what you make me feel.”

One of his hands left her face, gesturing through the air as he attempted to explain everything without the safety net of statistical knowledge. “Every time I’m near you, it’s like my heart speeds up so much that, scientifically speaking, I should be dead.” The quiet chuckle that escaped her lips reached his ears, easing the tight lines on his forehead as his lips formed into a gentle smile. “But it doesn’t matter, because being near you makes me feel more alive than I’ve ever felt before.”

“Every little thing you do, it just… it makes me fall more and more in love with you.”

“God, I’ve loved you for so long.” His hand halted its relentless movement and lowered to push the hair out of his eyes before running down his face with a grunt of frustration.

"I've fought multiple inner battles trying to tell you how I feel, only to back down at the last minute, silently promising myself that I would do it the next day."

Her eyes softened at his words, her lips pulling into a sad smile as his remained parted, eyes teary as they left her gaze and focused on his lap. “And then you got shot and I—“ The memories of everything that happened in the last two weeks rushing back to him. "I thought I had run out of next days.”

Her hand, which had been holding his against her cheek, shifted gently, cupping his cheek and wiping away the tear that had managed to escape his eyes.

With a sigh, he looked up to meet her eyes again, his own free hand coming up to hold the hand she now had on his cheek. He leaned into her touch, his head resting against her hand as she rubbed soothing circles against the stubble that had appeared after weeks of not shaving. “I adore you.”

His face inched closer to hers, resting his forehead against hers. "I’m fine with whatever you want as long as I'm able to have you in my life," he whispered, his warm breath brushing against her skin. "I love you so, so much. Always." With that, their foreheads separated and his lips moved up to plant a gentle kiss on her forehead.

The room fell silent, his words hanging in the air as she processed them. After another second, Spencer moved, standing up and letting her know that he was going to go get a nurse before quickly disappearing.

The nurses flooded her room with warmth and care, each one exuding kindness as they attended to her needs, explaining her situation, answering questions, and expressing relief that she was recovering well.

Spencer stood patiently by the door, his shoulder leaning against the frame as he observed the nurses with gratitude, thanking them as they left after ensuring everything was in order.

As the last nurse made her way to the door, she slowed her footsteps, casting a reassuring smile at Spencer. “I told you she’d be alright, sweetheart,” she said with a gentle tone.

Marisa, the lovely old nurse, had not only been concerned about his best friend’s well-being but also his. The genius could confidently say that, had it not been for Marisa, he probably would’ve starved in that hospital chair.

She would often stop by during her morning shift, offering reassurance that she would be alright, often bending a few hospital rules to make Spencer more comfortable, providing him with the comfiest blankets, or allowing him to take showers in the bedroom’s bathroom so he wouldn’t have to leave her side.

She also insisted on him taking breaks to get some fresh air, eat proper meals, and change his clothes, assuring him that if anything happened, she would call him immediately.

With a comforting squeeze to his arm, the nurse left, closing the door gently behind her and leaving the two of them alone in the room.

As he settled back into the familiar chair, their eyes met once more, exchanging a silent understanding. They sat in comfortable silence for a while, relishing each other's presence. Eventually, Spencer broke the quietude. "I should call the team," he suggested softly.

He rose from the chair, his hand diving into his pocket to retrieve his phone. With his back turned to her, he scrolled through his contacts, his foot shifting slightly as he prepared to step away.

Before he could get far, his movements halted by the touch of her hand on his arm, he lowered his phone and turned back to her, meeting her gaze with curiosity. "Wait," she said softly. With a nod, he returned his phone to his pocket, yielding to her gentle tug until he found himself seated by her side on the bed.

A grunt of discomfort escaped her lips as she struggled to sit up, reaching out for his hand for support. Once she was upright, she shifted closer to him. “What are- oomf—“ before he could finish, his question was cut off by the sudden press of her lips against his, her hands gripping the back of his head.

His body momentarily stiffened, eyes widening in surprise as he tried to process what was happening. When it finally clicked, the initial shock turned into a gentle surrender as he closed his eyes, allowing himself to be swept away by the warmth of her lips against his.

With a soft exhale, his hand instinctively rose to caress her cheek, pulling her face even closer to his and deepening the kiss.

If he had ever believed his heart couldn’t beat any faster than when in her presence, he stood corrected. Now, he was certain he was experiencing a heart attack.

His lips moved against hers so perfectly, as if they had kissed a thousand times before, as if their souls recognized each other instantly.

It was perfect, not because it was flawless, but because it felt so real.

He never wanted to stop; her lips were addicting, but when his lungs screamed at him for air, he reluctantly pulled his lips away from hers, resting his forehead against hers as they caught their breath.

“I love you too, Spencer.”

His head jerked back, eyes wide open as he looked at her, scanning her expression, looking for any hint that she was lying, only to find honesty shining through her eyes.

With a laugh, she took his face back in her hands, pulling him closer and pressing a quick kiss to his lips. “You have, and will always be the one my heart searches for in a world full of everyone else.”

With a toothy smile, he pulled her lips back to his, chuckling inwardly, as their lips met, acknowledging that if he thought he reached the peak before, he was mistaken again. His heart was racing faster than ever before. A heart attack of a different kind.

A heart attack that he’d gladly experience a million times more.

[scientia-rex]

Hi Dr. Kristophine, do you have any advice on what kind of information doctors need for medical issues that are more nebulous than "my knees hurt"? I've been feeling Weird and Bad in a way that has me concerned, but I'm afraid to make an appointment because I don't know what to say that will get the Weird and Bad feeling across in an actionable way. Going to the doctor takes SO much energy that I don't have to waste and I don't want them to just take a blood test and say everything's fine go home (again).

The best thing you can do with medical information you're trying to prepare for your medical provider, as a lay person, is be as specific as possible.

-Location: Is it one place in particular, or everywhere? Does it stay in one place, or move around?

-Timing: When did it start? Did it come on suddenly or slowly? Does it happen continuously? Does it come and go? Is it always there to some extent, but it gets better and worse? On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being fine and 10 being the worst you can imagine, how bad is it at its best, and how bad is it at its worst? How much time does it spend really bad vs only kind of bad?

-Quality: If it's pain, is it aching, burning, stabbing, dull, electrical zap, etc.? If it's not pain, what is it? Is it discomfort? Is it weakness--i.e., you can't do that thing? Is it fatigue--like maybe you can still push through doing the thing but it feels like you're trying to wade through mud to do it? Is it a racing heart, sweating, pressure?

-Triggers: Does something in particular set it off? A time of day, a food, an action, a medication, a thought? A surprisingly common trigger for migraines is sitting still with your neck in one position. (New research suggests that necks are critical to migraine formation, to which I yelled out loud at the paper, no duh!) There may be triggers you haven't noticed; try keeping a symptom diary, where you note down when you have episodes and what you were doing beforehand, what you ate that day, menstrual phase, etc. Any detail that you can remember, whether or not it seems relevant at the time.

I cannot tell you how many times I've dug deeper into a chronic issue only to discover that the patient can, in fact, tell me what the trigger is, but because it's something important to them, they simply haven't noticed. May subconsciously even avoided noticing. Do you get migraines every time you DM? Do you need to work a stretch break into your D&D session?

There can also absolutely be multiple triggers--I know I'll get migraines if I don't sleep, if I'm sick, if I sit still for too long, if I have dental work, etc.

So bring in all the info you can. Write it down if you're afraid you'll forget. Don't hand it to the MA, too many doctors will go "oh my GOD they brought a LIST how high-maintenance" and tune out. Hang on to it but tell them about everything.

I don't expect patients to be able to tell me "I believe I've had a left radial styloid fracture" but I do expect them to tell me "I fell and tried to catch myself with my left hand and now my wrist hurts," and that's good enough. The rest of it is my job. When it's something more vague, like "I started feeling different and bad about six months ago," any other information helps. Did you start a new med around then? Are you going through menopause? Do you struggle with anxiety? Do you have first-degree relatives (parent, sibling, or child) with genetic disorders, autoimmune disorders, etc.? Do you have a history of anemia? Are you vegan? Have you started having night sweats and unexplained weight loss? Did you recently travel internationally? This can go a lot more different directions than a hurty wrist, so bring in all the info you can.

And keep in mind that modern medicine is very limited--much more so than most people think. There is an excellent chance that medicine will not be able to diagnose your condition. It may still be able to offer treatment. It may fall on your shoulders to manage it as best you can, knowing that doctors don't have answers. Nobody can tell me why I have chronic pain, and I don't mean as in "I've asked doctors and they don't know," I mean "I've personally scoured the literature and had the relevant and appropriate tests and no one can know at this phase of medical knowledge." So I deal with it, I've stopped trying to push myself past my reserves because people who can't admit to ignorance tell me to, I keep my painful body moving because that helps, I do PT, I take a multivitamin occasionally because I know my diet sucks. I manage.

There are not always right or wrong answers--I don't take gabapentin, because I don't want the sedation and kidney exposure, but patients with my exact symptoms might find it helpful and may find the risks and costs worth the benefits. My mother, who has whatever it is that I have, right down to the tricky stomach, from whom I presumably inherited it, has taken medication at different points in her life, depending on how much pain she was in and what other responsibilities she has, and that is perfectly reasonable. Autonomy matters. People have to be able to make these choices for themselves, with assistance but not paternalism from their medical professionals, because the math is different for everyone.

[bluegalaxygirl]

Amnesia (KidKiller X Reader) Prologue

Plot: After an explosion reader wakes up in a hospital with no memory of the past few years, her parents want to take her home so she can recover and get back to a normal life while the Kid pirates want her back on the ship where she belongs.

Warning: Body shaming/issues, Family problems/mental abuse, bad language, Violence and Blood.

Reader is Female, Poly Relationship, established relationship, Kid X Reader X Killer, Reader is a member of the Kid pirates and is in charge of the money, Budgeting and negotiating the best price.

Next Part >

The firstborn of the family always carries on the family name which is why high class families want their first to be a boy, so when you were born a girl you were a disappointment from the start. It didn't matter from that point on, what you did or what you accomplished in life, you would never be good enough for them, but you still tried. You wanted to be smart like your farther and prove to him that you can one day run the several companies that he owns, they were inherited from his farther who inherited it from his farther, it goes on and on. Your farther is very old-fashioned, men should work and women should stay home to raise the next generation, Your mother agreed with him on this so tried to raise you to be a lady, be pretty and proper. You wanted to please both of them, so they would finally look at you with love and respect but the more you tried the less happy you became. Still trying for a boy your parents had 4 other girls before finally having a boy but during that time of waiting they decided to put what they had to use. Beauty competition and pageant became your life and the things you actually liked to do had to be dropped in order to make time for all that. Your mother became more controlling sometimes scaring you with how far she was willing to go just to get you to win, she told you what to eat and when to eat, you were never aloud to cut your hair since it had to be longer and better than the other girls. You were measured and weighed every day, if you were over a certain weight then she would withhold food until you were back down to that weight.

Your mother broke down in tears when it turned out you needed reading glasses stating that it will damage your nose, you tried contacts, but they hurt and caused eye irritation, despite that you grinned and bared so you could continue to read and do your school work trying to impress your farther while also pleasing your mother. Even though you were only doing extra math's lessons to try and get your father to notice you it was something you began to look forward to, your teachers praised you for your work and even moved you up a year, because of this you enjoyed it more and more some times forgetting the reason you were doing all this in the first place. Unfortunately your sisters were pushed to the side most of the time, your mother stayed focused on you and trying to have a boy for your farther while your farther was either locked in his office or on business ventures, a lot of resentment formed between you and your sisters, they wanted mothers attention and you wanted less of it hoping it will take some pressure to being the most beautiful off of you. Things got better when your farther's company took a turn for the worst, he actually needed you and you were more than happy to help, hopefully making him proud of you in the process. It was hard work and you spent a lot of late night but your Farther made sure your mother didn't interfere because of this she turned her attention to your sisters finally giving them the attention they wanted.

It took months of work but you managed to fix the problem and found a way to save more money without hurting anyone who works for your farther, despite all that you didn't get a thank you, just sent back to your mother. It broke you seeing how he would easily throw you aside once he had what he wanted and things got worse when your brother came along. You were 14 when your brother was born, you didn't even know him and yet you hated him, your farther now had a son and it didn't matter if he grew up to be stupid or ugly, he would still have farther's praise. Your farther did most of the work raising your brother making sure he would one day be the head of his companies, it broke you even more seeing how your brother who was still a baby had more love and respect that you ever did or ever would. It didn't take long for the anger and hurt to boil over, you started acting out and rebelling, it started out small, going down stairs for late night snacks, ripping a dress you were going to wear just before a contest making it seem like an accident, missed pageants to go to business lectures or extra classes. To get your anger out you took up late night defense classes and a bit of kickboxing, it helped you calm down, not do anything rash and gave your brain a break from thinking about everything. Building up muscle made you feel better in yourself but when ever you would get weighed your mother would become angry since you put on weight. It didn't matter to her if it was muscle weight or not, a girl shouldn't have muscles, she should be thin and fair skinned, she didn't make you food but you would sneak down and make your own pissing her off even more.

Over time, you got more and more brave while also learning how to deal with your mothers anger when ever she would yell at you. The first time she truly yelled at you the poor maids had to come in and hold her back from hurting you, what made her so angry? You cut your hair up to your shoulders, you didn't want to do pageants or beauty contest anymore, you wanted to be your own person, you wanted to do the things you actually like and make a life for yourself that didn't revolve around pleasing your parents, but she never took you seriously until you cut your hair. She was losing control of you but gripped on tight, everything you did to rebel was met head on by something she would do and in turn you would do worse. She pulled you out of school, so she could home school you to become a lady but you sneak out and sit outside a class room listening through the open window while taking notes, because of this she hired security to have you on 24 hour watch. After a few weeks you got their routine and shift changes down so would use that time to sneak out either going to the school or going to the local gym. She would send them out to get you but over time you started to fight back refusing to go home until you were done with what ever you were doing. It wasn't long until those men quit finding you too hard to handle, your mother hired people after people, but they kept quitting and soon word got around making it impossible to hire anyone else knowing that you would physically hurt them. You 1, Mother 0.

Your mother still forced you into pageants by threatening to break something you loved or tricking you in some way, she would lie to you getting you to come back home or to a hall where the pageant was held, it got to a point where you stopped believing her even when she called to tell you your grandmother died, you thought it was a lie so just hung up on her but it turned out to be true. The main things she threatened to break was your glasses or what ever book you were reading at the time, one time your called her bluff causing her to break your glasses and then going through your room to break other stuff. You 1, Mother 1. Your mother would cook meals while keeping a food and calorie book for you, she watched what you ate and when she realized things weren't adding up with the amount of food used, she put chains and padlocks on the fridge and cupboards. Your farther had to step in on the argument you and your mother had over this telling you to do as your told but you refused to give up, it took you a while to figure out a way around it while not destroying the kitchen but you managed to get your hands on the key and make an imprint of it so you could have one made. It was going great until she caught you, from then on she would change the locks regularly, you didn't have the money to keep making prints to get a key made so you thought, if she's not going to be sneaky then neither am i. You bought bolt cutter and cut the chains and locks, she would put new ones up but you would just cut them again, it was another thing she had to back down on since your farther was getting upset with how much money she was spending on this. You 2, Mother 1.

You managed to save up enough money to get your first tattoo at 16, by working as a cleaner at the gym and tutoring other kids, It was hard work but you actually found joy in it. You wanted to go for a collar bone piece since your mother loved for you to wear sleeveless dresses but luckily the tattoo artist convinced you to go with a less painful area for your first time, so you got it on your forearm. A stack of books with a steaming cup on top, your favorite flowers, chocolate cosmos scattered around and leaves poking out from between the books. Your mother was beyond pissed when she found out and tried to get you to lazier it off but since you were 16 it was your chose medically so when you refused there was nothing anyone could do. During pageants or beauty contests she would use make up to cover it up, you hoped getting a tattoo would deter her form putting you in skimpy dresses but it seemed to make her worse. You didn't know if you won or lost on that one but as the outfits got skimpier you decided as much as you love your tattoo and would never get rid of it, she won that time. You 2, Mother 2. Your farther often had to get involved when your mother yelled at you since you'd just stare at her blankly waiting for her to calm down so you could talk but this would make her even more angry, her yelling could be heard from all over the house and it could last for almost an hour or until her voice gave out.

You know there's no point in trying to talk to either of them when they get angry, what ever you have to say will be met with more anger and mean comments, there's no point in yelling back. Your farther used to be mad that your mother was too loud when yelling at you but that soon changed to him yelling at you since your the problem, if you just did as you were told then your mother wouldn't be yelling and spending more money than needed to keep you in your place. Why they didn't give up on your or kick you out? Its most likely to save their reputation, having to kick out their eldest would put them in a bad light. You wanted to leave home as soon as you could, so you kept working, unfortunately it wasn't enough to get a boat and have money over to survive on out in the water especially when you'd have to buy new glasses whenever your mother break them or pay to fix broken things in you room. The money you saved up would come and go depending on you mothers mood and if you were willing to do as she says that day. You didn't have enough money to leave but you did it anyway on your 18th birthday when your parents did something you can't forgive, It was the straw that broke the camel's back as they say, so you gathered all the things you could and grabbed what money you had before leaving. Your parents didn't come after you which you were thankful for, but they probably hoped you would come around and not run away like you were planning on.

You bought a small boat that had a small hut, it was shabby at best but the engine worked and you just wanted out. It lasted longer than you thought, after a few islands the engine gave out but you managed to get to an island before that happened, some of the wood panels were coming loose and when you turned the light on inside the cabin to check things it sparked and a fire broke out. Luckily you managed to put it out quickly but the wiring was all kinds of messed up, no wonder the boat was cheep, it's a fire waiting to happen. To make matters worse this island isn't the friendly's, they don't mind outsiders, but they will charge you extra just for being one, It was hard to get a good price on anything but you managed to get a few things with what little money you had. You spent over a month on that island trying to fix the boat you had no idea how to fix while working in the village doing their taxes for little money. It was hard work and you felt like you were never getting off this island but surprisingly it was better than home. After another day of lots of work and hardly any pay you went to by supply's to fix your ship only to find two pirates that needed help with the cranky shop keeper over pricing them. You helped them in exchange for a ride to the nearest island with a village, their crew was a strange one but fun, of course you hid things from them, you never once mentioned your family and gave a fake last name when they asked. They may be fun to hang around with but their still pirates at the end of the day.

As you spent time with the crew you became very good friends with House, the ships new Doctor, well she was the best person they could find for the job. She didn't know how to fight at the time so you taught her a little on how to defend herself, she was sweet yet crazy and you didn't want to leave knowing she could get badly hurt. The other person you became close with was surprisingly Heat, you were a little scared of him but you refused to show fear around anyone in case they take advantage of it, he liked you for not being fearful of his appearance and for not flinching when ever their captain yelled or lashed out in anger. Kid's anger wasn't normally directed at you but most people run and hide when being anywhere near the angry or drunk captain. You didn't mind doing things around the ship since you were staying on there for free and even sorted out some of their finances with Killer looking over your shoulder most of the time, Killer and Kid were impressed that not only did you save them money on land but now you were saving them money out at sea too. It was the first time you got praise for your work, normally people would just hand you the money and watch you leave but you didn't charge them for any of it, and they actually thanked your for it all. When it was almost time for you to leave the ship, Captain Kid asked you to join his crew, It was a big surprise but you couldn't pass up the opportunity so you joined.

At first, you were mostly a cleaner and helped Kid or Killer with the money while they watched your every move until they could fully trust you. After a year not only where you put fully in charge of finances, budgeting and negotiating but Kid and Killer got together, you knew the two had a thing for each other and you, along with the crew were relived that it finally happened. There was a bit of hurt in your chest though, as much as you were happy for the two and enjoyed seeing them together you still had feelings for the both of them, time should have gotten rid of those feelings, but they only grew more and more as you got closer with them. As the crew grew you felt more and more at home, the crew was your family and the Victoria Punk was your home, you started to act more like yourself and how you wanted to be with no repercussions. The collection of tattoo's on your body grew over time, either relating to the things you love and things that remind you of the crew but you refuse to get your ears pierced, Kid wanted to do it for you but thanks to some past trauma you refuse. A few years went by before Killer and Kid pulled you into their room to talk, it turns out they felt the same as you did and after a long time of talking about it the two decided that they wanted you to be a part of their relationship. How could you say no? Your feelings for them never went away and you wanted nothing more than to be loved by them and show them how much they mean to you.

The hole crew knew about your relationship, it was no secret and no one had a problem with it so the three of you didn't mind a little PDA, Kid's a bit more closed off when off the ship and can get flustered easily when the two of you tease him or show affection when out in public, he'll yell at the two of you to shut up before storming off. There has been some fights and arguments between the three of you, well mainly between you and Kid but at the end of the day you all felt better when sleeping in the same bed. After Kid lost his arm you started painting his nails for him, it was the first time you actually enjoyed doing any kind of make up so ended up doing it more often for both of them. Even though you trust the two and fully love them you still haven't told them about your past and who your family was, you only said that it wasn't a nice place to be so you left, they never pushed you on the issue but some times worried when ever you'd lash out over someone commenting on your looks or waist line. They learned not to call you certain names or nicknames like, pretty, beautiful, Sweetie, princess, Darling, Doll ect, they all brought you back to what your mother used to say or what judges would call you, once you almost killed a guy for calling you "Just a pretty face". The only thing you didn't have a problem with was your height, muscles, scars and tattoo's which are all things your happy with, you worked hard for you muscles, love your tattoo's and your proud of your scars since you fought through some tough battles.

----- The battle -----

Speaking of battles, getting into a fight with the marines is how you ended up losing most of your memories in the first place, you could blame kid since he's the one who started the battle but the marines were carrying some good stuff that even you couldn't pass up on. While Kid and Killer were off fighting on other ships you were with Heat and a few other crew member's taking out the marines and trying to find what treasure they were carrying, unfortunately the treasure wasn't what you exacted, barrels of explosives. Making your way up to the deck you spot Heat about to use his fire breathing again as a bunch of marines run at him, in fear of him setting the ship ablaze causing the explosives to go off you jumped into the crowd of marines. "What the hell Y/N" Heat yells unable to use his fire with you in the way, kicking and grappling onto the marines you take a few out before Heat joins you slashing his swords to take out the rest "This ship is carrying explosives, i don't want the ship being blown up with the crew still on it" You yell as your foot connects with a marines face sending him flying back into the side of the ship, Heat sighs while slashing another marine knowing he can't use his fire breathing "If the treasure isn't here it must be on one of the other ships" The scarecrow like man calls back turning to face you now the deck is clear, turning to face him you nod before looking over at the marine ship next to this one. "I think its best if you head off to another ship, I'll set the ship to head towards the reinforcement and get the rest of the crew off" You state over the loud noise of fighting and cannon fire, Heat thinks for a second then nods "I'll inform the captain, be safe" he yells before running off and jump over to the next ship.

You know the best thing now is to get control of this ship and use it against the others marine ships that are starting to close in. Foot steps running towards you gets your attention getting you to spin around ready to fight only to see a member of your crew "Bubblegum, there are explosives on this ship get anyone off who uses gun or fire, I'm gonna gain control of the ship and set it on cause out to sea, hopefully we can get it to crash into the reinforcements" You call out to the blue haired man who nods at you heading off to tell the others on the ship. Heading to the control room you have to fight more marines on the way but soon get to the control room, opening the door you have no chose but to duck when a marine in a white coat swings his sword at you, it cuts the door in half as you slide under his legs to get behind him. The Lieutenant is fast though turning around and swinging his sword down, dodging out of the way you push off the floor using both feet to kick the man in the face. He stumbles back giving you time to stand up and jump kick him back further into the wall behind the door, with a sigh you head over to the control panel seeing the ship has set cause straight for the Victoria Punk, you had a feeling they were planning to doing the same thing as you were going to do, use the ship to blow up the other one. Before you can change its cause the marine's reflection in the glass gets your attention seeing him standing behind you and swinging his sword across to hit you. Barely managing to dodge to the side your shoulder gets cut pretty deep as his arm swings out grabbing you by the throat and throwing you window looking out onto the deck.

Glass shatters some piercing your skin as your body hits the slightly wet wooden deck rolling before managing to find your feet and skid to a stop "Y/n" Boogie a man with teal hair yells out going to run over to you when the lieutenant lands just in front of you bringing his sword down, flipping back words you avoid his swings before going under his legs again and kicking him in the back forcing him away from you "Get to the control room, this ship is on a direct cause to the Victoria." You yell as Bubblegum runs over to join Boogie, the two nod seeing you have this handled while also hearing the commanding tone you used. "So you figured it out, how smart" The marine yells running over to you while swinging his sword at you, dodging you manage to miss a few swings but get caught on the last one, the sword grazing your side as you use the palm of your hand to hit the marine in the throat. He steps back coughing from the hit as you grab his arm and round house a kick to the side of his head forcing it down onto the wooden deck while pulling his arm behind his back, he yells out in pain as his face breaks the wood under him and how your pushing his arm up further than it should go causing him to release the sword in his hand. With the lieutenant unable to move and the marine ship starting to turn around heading away from the Victoria Punk you feel a sense of relief, the marine under you stops struggling his eyes glues on something as he starts to laugh.

Pushing his head further down with your foot you growl wondering what's so funny "FIRE" The marine yells out making your eyes widen as the marine ship across from the one your on fires a cannon ball straight into the hull of the ship hitting the explosives inside. Everything happened in a flash, the ship lighting on fire as wood splinter and breaks apart, the ship creaked and roared as it split apart starting to sink into the ocean. You felt the fire hit your legs along with pieces of wood and metal before cold salty sea water engulfed you, still conscious you tried to swim to the surface above as body's and piece of the ship sink past you in the water. It was getting harder to breath but you soon made it to the top, bursting through the water you gasp for air while trying to gather your surrounding. A loud snapping sound catches your attention but you only had time to look up as the marine's mast breaks in half and falls right on top of you. Blood filled the water around you as your body was dragged down, deeper and deeper into the depth, your head hurt and your vision became blurry but a figure swam over to you just before your eyes closed letting darkness take over your vision and mind.

[super-paper]

The Villains' Pastime: Gourmet Food Highlights

Another day, another event focused on the LOV and their targeted psychic attacks on Skeptic's blood pressure (+ ReDestro's wallet)

The event starts with the gang fully embracing the freeloader lifestyle: lounging around and playing cards, ordering premium food on the PLF's dime, and doing absolutely nothing to actually help out with running the organization they violently took over like a week ago.

Everyone praises Tomura for being good at cards, with Compress and Twice wondering how he can be so good at reading others even though most of them are wearing masks. Jin then proceeds to shout out what his hand is, solving part of the mystery behind Tomura's undefeated winning streak in record time.

They want to play another game, but Tomura shoots them down bc it's close to noon and he's hungry. They agree to stop playing cards and get some lunch, and start talking about what sort of gourmet (read: expensive) foods they should try next. Tomura breezily talks about how nice it is to finally have money to burn (he's the worst ♥️), which inevitably summons Skeptic from the fourth ring of hell to bitch everyone out about wasting the PLF's precious funds.

"Thanks a bunch~" If Skeptic murks you in your sleep, you really only have yourself to blame Mister.

No one does "endearing in a criminally insane way" quite like Tomura. 😬

Trumpet senses that things are about to get ugly (or that skeptic is about five seconds away from a full blown hypertensive crisis) and intervenes, suggesting that they play a game of cards-- If Tomura wins, the PLF will foot the bill. If Skeptic wins, they either have to pay for their own lunch or just go hungry.

Tomura (quite predictably) says "fuck that" and tells Spinner just to go buy them lunch at a convenience store.

>be me >be stuck in a secret base hidden deep in the mountains >be literally miles away from civilization and the nearest town >tfw warp gate is doing ten-to-life and warp sludge is being gatekept by the world's most toxic Ivo Robotnik cosplayer 😔 >my boss, fully aware of all the above, orders me to walk to the nearest town and buy him a frozen burrito from a gas station >mfw

IS THIS YOUR MAN, SPINNER.

Tomura lightly bullying his friends and making unreasonable requests is nothing new, but this one strikes me as hilariously mean spirited even by his standards bc it’s also implied Tomura expects Spinner to foot the bill on top of all that:

BRO FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE 😭

Trumpet eventually convinces Tomura that it would actually (read: obviously) be faster to just settle the issue with a game of cards-- Tomura finally gives in, and they settle on a game of blackjack.

Compress explains the rules of blackjack and offers to deal the cards-- Trumpet shuts this down immediately and says that HE will deal the cards, thank you very much:

As an aside, I love how utterly shameless they make Compress in these events lmao.

Tomura and Skeptic begin their game, and Tomura quickly makes it apparent that he approaches blackjack with the same suicidally reckless abandon as he does pretty much everything else:

Out of context MHA, eat your heart out.

Spinner, Compress, and Dabi all worry that Tomura has drawn too many cards and is gonna lose by default, but Jin and Himiko both express their faith in his abilities as an ill-gotten bread winner (<3)

Tomura and Skeptic both reveal their hands, and we hard cut to the aftermath where the LOV are gushing about all the high quality meat they bought on the PLF's dime while Skeptic seethes in the corner.

>Tomura

> making logical choices

well, there's your first mistake.

Trumpet tells Skeptic to stop being a hater and dig in, casually siding with the LOV now that they've won their premium beef:

Trumpet:

Like a true politician.

The lunch party continues until ReDestro enters the scene... gushing about some high quality meat he managed to get ahold of and asking the League if they'd like some hot pot. :) Skeptic realizes his life is a cosmic joke. The event ends.

Bonus Stuff:

This is starting to feel less like a case of the LOV simply liking sushi and more like a united effort to haze Dabi. Deserved, tbh.

Jin telling Himiko to eat her veggies and Compress fondly watching her eat her weight in meat......... they r SO cute wtf..................,😭

>I start joking about Tomura being the most rancid godawful tsundere in existence

>somewhere out there, apollo draws back his dodgeball arm

He sure complains a lot for someone who grumpily indulges their every whim, huh.

[bethanythebogwitch]

There's been a distinct lack of invertebrates on my Wet Beast Wednesday posts so let's fix that by adding sea spiders. These arthropods are notable for being probably the creepiest things i've features on this series. Like I'm not afraid of actual spiders at all, but these things give me the heebie-jeebies. And I'm exactly the kind of person who loves to spread the things that creep me out, so let's combine thalassophobia with arachnophobia for the worst of both worlds! The first thing to know about sea spiders is that the name is a lie. They aren't spiders but instead members of their own class: Pycnogonida, meaning that a more accurate name is to call them pycogonids. Another alternate clade name is Pantopoda, which means "all legs", a pretty accurate description. They are traditionally classified as chelicerates, putting them in the same subphylum of life as proper spiders. However, this may change as a few genetic studies (Regier, et al., 2010 and Sharma et al., 2014) instead place them as a sister group to all other extant arthropods. Sea spiders occupy every part of the ocean with around 1,300 documented species.

(Image: a collage of many sea spider species, courtesy of ye olde Wikipedia)

The first thing you'll likely notice about sea spiders is that their legs are much larger than their bodies. In fact, the body is so reduced that many of the internal organs have to extend into the legs because they otherwise wouldn't fit. Sea spiders have a wide range of sizes, with the smallest having a legspan of 1 millimeter and the largest having a legspan of 70 cm (2.3 ft). That is larger than my sister's dog. Most species are pretty small, with the very large specimens being the result of polar or deep-sea gigantism. Most species have 4 pairs of walking legs, but some have 5 or 6 instead. The body consists of 2 segments: a cephalothorax subdivided into a cephalon (head) and trunk, and a very tiny abdomen. The cephalon contains the first pair of legs as well as a smaller pair of legs called ovigers that are used to handle their eggs, for grooming, and courtship. Every sea spider has a proboscis on the cephalon that is their feeding appendage. Depending on species, they may also have a pair of palps and/or chelifores, smaller appendages used to manipulate food. Some species lack both the palp and chelifore and their proboscis is instead flexible and muscular. Many species have a structure on the cephalon called the ocular tubercle which contains the eyes, but some deep-sea species have lost their eyes entirely. The trunk contains the remaining legs. Finally, the abdomen is extremely reduced and almost completely vestigial.

(Image: a diagram of sea spider anatomy)

Sea spiders are carnivores, using their proboscises to pierce soft-bodied invertebrates such as cnidarians, sponges, and some worms. They have no respiratory organs. Instead, dissolved oxygen diffuses into the body through the legs. A small and long heart beats at 90 to 180 beats per minute, circulating hemolymph (bug blood) through the central body and giving them a high blood pressure. Oxygen in the legs is transported through repetitive motion called peristalsis in the parts of the digestive tract that extends into the legs. Sea spiders can move both by walking and swimming, which they achieve by beating their legs in a motion similar to opening and closing an umbrella.

(image: a sea spider riding a jellyfish)

Birds do it, bees do it, and weird underwater spider-beasts do it. With the exception of one known hermaphroditic species, all spiders are dioecious, which is a fancy way of saying they have distinct males and females. During mating, the male will climb on the female and they arrange themselves until their reproductive gonopores (which are eon the legs of course) line up. The female them releases her eggs, which the male fertilizes and catches with his ovigers. The male carries the eggs until the larvae are born, with the female providing no further care. Larvae are very simple, consisting of a head with the only appendages being the ovigers, palps, and chelicerae. The trunk, abdomen, and legs develop as the larva grows. Instead of growing the legs all at once, they will grow in during sequential molts. Some have suggested that the development of the larvae parallels the evolution of the ancestor of arthropods, starting out very simple and gradually evolving more complex structures. Scientists have observed 4 types of larvae: the typical protonymph, atypical protonymph, encysting, and attaching. Typical protonymph larvae are the most common and become free-swimming after hatching. Atypical protonymphs are similar, but will eventually find another animal to live on or in. Encysting larvae will find a polyp colony and burrow in. It then encases itself in a cyst and will not leave until developing into a juvenile. Attaching larvae remain attached to their father's oviger until developing into juveniles.

(Image: a male carrying his eggs)

(Image: a larva)

[mezmer]

Here I will explain why my blog banner describes me as an anti sugar activist. I try to be as "scientific" as my brain and heart allow, but I value my experience over scientific studies even if they support my view, huge ridiculous autist sugar post incoming

Sugar is highly addictive for most people. The problem is way more dire than we act like it is. Added to foods you wouldn't even think to include sugar. The link between sugar and obesity, endocrine disruption, general inflammation and malaise, disease, diabetes, your teeth rotting out, and even cancer, is undeniable no matter what articles or studies you try to dig up. not many people want to admit how bad it is. People who enjoy sugar, who might say "you only live once! It's not like I'm shooting heroin" suffer weird problems and assume it's something else. Children set up for a lifetime of failure because their parents don't pay attention to their sugar intake at all. I have a very drastic example of this I won't go into much detail about, but a set of parents close to me are feeding their daughter extreme amounts of sugar. She has a learning disability and is a very intense child. I've hinted at the sugar link and everyone is in denial.

I have baby sat this child and gotten her to eat organic wheat bread PB and J with a no sugar added, all fruit jam.. happily told her parents who did not care at all. It was such a feat to me. Everyone knows a picky child. It's worse than you think. This is a gateway drug and I'm totally serious. I said I would not go into great detail... I too was raised on welch's fruit snacks, "pancake syrup", sprite, Kool aid, and worst of all I was allowed to put as much sugar that I wanted into my tea. My parents were wonderful, they just didn't think or know how bad it was to do this

I've struggled with a sugar addiction before and since getting clean from drugs and seen the effects of it firsthand. The most obvious to be seen from the outside that I can make people believe is my struggle with acne. We know bacteria feeds off of sugar. This is why people who drink sugary drinks are at risk for UTIs. If bacteria enters their bladder, sugar makes it grow. Well no amount of washing my face, bentonite clay masks, washing my pillow cases, wearing a bonnet, would make the acne go away. Recently I tried to only eat a certain pint of ice cream thinking less sugar would help. It didn't and I'm over two weeks off of all sugar that isn't naturally occuring in honey and fruit. Crazy how natural sugar does not feed the bacteria and hormonal disruption. I've been in this cycle more than once. Not only does the acne go away, my face appears radiant every time. Breakouts as soon as I relapse. Maybe you are thinking, this is a bunch of hogwash and I eat little cakes often without a problem. That's fine. I know addicts who have used meth for 30 years and you wouldnt wonder much about them. Smokers who lived to 80. Sugar doesn't do me any good at all.

Neither my mom, who was just put on a medication with awful side effects because she is developing diabetes. Her doctor (doctor she's had for decades who is a total piece of garbage and prescribes dangerous cocktails of conflicting medications !! That's a whole other post!!!! Put my grandma on pills which nearly killed her! Plus other people HAHAHA) saw her coming up with high blood pressure, blood sugar, and cholesterol without thinking to suggest a diet change first. My mom is overweight and likes to eat sweets. My mom told me, I can still eat sweets, I just have to eat less. I did tell her that didn't work for me. I quit because I don't want to end up sick this way. Diabetes runs in our family. The prescription is making my mom nauseous and dizzy. Insane to me right?

Why aren't the dangers of sugar recognized? Why am I the only advocate I know? I would shut the fuck up if the dangers were believed by more people. Is it Because Sugar Taste good? Not seen as a vice. We accept that corn syrup is not so good. Canola oil pretty bad. Dyes in food causing children to develop ADHD and autism, or whatever. Is there no risk in consuming sugar? Many health professionals don't want to admit it? I feel strongly. I feel sick when I eat sugar but I can't find myself able to stop unless I truly try. We are all convinced that it's just a danger to your teeth if you don't brush enough. MIL is a sugar addict who buys birthday cakes on clearance and clears the whole cake in a few days, a twice daily flosser and brusher, who has lost over half of her teeth to extractions, sees the link, and has no intention to quit.

Finally, I bake yummy dessert recipes excluding half the sugar while using honey, maple syrup, brown sugar for what is left (which is slightly better than white sugar from my understanding) and I have never made a baked good that is ruined by doing this. You can't even tell that I've excluded sugar and the foods have more flavor because sugar doesn't overpower the dish. They don't make your teeth hurt. You can eat more cookies because there is less sugar and they taste better. The texture is the same. Bakers will tell you this isn't true and you need to use the whole amount of sugar so the cookies and cakes arent ruined. Yes, you need torched sugar on creme brulee. Fine.

Do you ever find yourself scraping icing off of a cake? I have baked more than one birthday cake for loved ones excluding sugar and adding natural alternatives (NOT stevia or monkfruit which taste like shit and suck) and ive gotten nothing but compliments. My brown sugar maple cake with cream cheese icing using very little sugar was a hit for my partners birthday that everyone probably ate too much of. This isn't a brag, it's an idea for anyone who bakes to try and change your recipes. It hasn't failed for me. Ok SOrry

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Does yves like piss and shit like the rest of us mortals

tw: piss n shit n puke, like ewww stuff

Yes, he does (or did)! But it's very different compared to a normal person's bodily function. As he fully controls his digestion, which includes the contractions of his gastrointestinal tract, the secretion of his digestive enzymes, and even the gut fermentation process, Yves can simply choose when to excrete.

But because he eats very little (See the series: Best and Worst of Both Worlds) and has such impossible biology, Yves usually chooses to completely break down his food down to the simplest of molecules and absorb everything. Leaving no faeces to expel. Sometimes when he has to consume deadly toxins or large amounts of food, he can choose not to absorb it into his body. Yves can either choose to vomit it out or instantly induce gastric emptying and shoot them through his intestines in a split second, but he usually chooses the former.

When it comes to urinating, it's not automatic. His blood wouldn't necessarily even get filtered through his kidneys unless necessary. That's why his bladder is almost always empty. He only produces urine if he detects that his blood pressure is getting a bit too high as his metabolic processes produce quite a lot of water.

He doesn't need to remove urea or other metabolic wastes, because his liver is efficient enough to utilize them. All of them. Making Yves this eldritch being in the medical community.

But, if he is poisoned or infected, he can use these methods to quickly cleanse his body before any symptoms show up.

Yves actually does not need food or water to survive with a body as efficient as his, but it lets him live a lot more comfortably. He has the illogical ability to reabsorb water from urine that's already stored in his bladder. Whatever he burns while exerting himself never escapes his body. It just gets converted back into substances he could use to sustain his life.

Everything in his body can be recycled within himself, but he will definitely look worse for wear as doing this maneuver causes him a great deal of stress. Mentally and physically.

So he does shit and piss. But he doesn't have to. Yves does it to make it easier for himself and allow himself to enjoy life better. To fit in with the rest.

But his freakish self-sufficiency comes in handy at various times.

[risingscorchingsuns]

okay so i have the bit where i reblog the post about genya having MALS every time mine flares up, but i realize nobody likely knows what the hell MALS is because it’s pretty rare and massively underdiagnosed. so because this is a thing that Hurts Me A Lot, and also because i genuinely do think it makes canonical sense for genya to have it, so im gonna infodump about it! obvious tw for medical shit and mentions of vascular problems. please do note I am not a professional- just a patient with too much time and having to do my own research because doctors won’t listen to me <3 I write from my own experience and very surface-level research; this is in no way an academic paper.

okay! MALS! what is it? MALS stands for Median Arcuate Ligament Syndrome. The median arcuate ligament is a vascular ligament in the lower part of your chest, and MALS is a kind of chronic vascular compression condition where this ligament sits lower than it should. This puts pressure on the celiac artery, which supplies blood to the stomach, liver, and all the other organs and stuff in the lower abdomen.

The symptoms vary, but from the limited research out there as well as my own experience, the primary symptom of MALS is agonizing chronic stomach pain, which has a risk of flaring up after eating or exercise. In my own experience, it’s both, but it’s mostly food. I’ve had days where I barely eat, or eat much less because i really don’t want to have to deal with a flareup. There’s no foods that trigger it specifically as far as I know, but I’ve noticed that things with high fat or oil contents make the flareups happen faster. For example, sushi- I love tuna nigiri, but the fat in the raw tuna always leaves me in agony 😔 I’ve also had to leave the gym early sometimes, because exercise triggers it. This is less common in my experience, though.

The pain is normally manageable- it feels like a stabbing cramp in my lower abdomen, typically about a 4-5/10 on the pain scale. It sucks, but normally i just have to sit down for about 20 minutes and it passes. But the worst ones have had me completely immobilized, sometimes for hours at a time. The worst one I ever had actually had me hospitalized; I was on the floor curled up, in so much pain I could barely even breathe. It was like someone was twisting knives in my insides- I thought I was dying. I run the risk of pain like this every time I eat. Pain like that is rare for me, and I’ve never met anyone else with my condition, but if they feel pain like that more often than I do, it’s all the more reason to raise awareness for MALS.

As far as I know, there’s nothing to be done for pain management. Ibuprofen and things like that either don’t touch it, or the pain simply passes before it takes effect. Regardless, the only thing I’ve found to do is wait it out, and don’t strain myself. There is a surgical cure, an open vascular surgery to relieve the pressure on the artery. But MALS is very rare, mostly because it is massively, massively underdiagnosed. It took ten years for doctors to stop telling me I was just lactose intolerant/experiencing menstrual cramps and actually run a CT scan on me. I believe the diagnoses rate is two out of every hundred thousand patients. MALS is mistaken for all sorts of things; lactose intolerance, IBS, Crohn’s, pretty much any Tummyache Disorder can get confused for MALS. Additionally, I’ve found mentions of patients saying doctors just straight up don’t believe their pain because there’s no obvious cause. In my experience, finding treatment has been nothing short of a nightmare; because MALS is only debilitating and not technically dangerous, I’ve had countless doctors dismiss my case and tell me to just deal with it. (I could go on a whole rant about sure, yeah, just deal with a coin flip’s chance of agony if I want to sustain myself by literally eating, but whatever thank you fuck you every doctor.) Regardless, MALS is really underdiagnosed, and it’s fairly under-researched as well.

Anyway, onto Genya Shinazugawa. From a surface level, I headcanon him to have MALS because he’s my blorbo and I love projecting onto fictional characters, but if I do a bit of analysis it actually makes a lot of sense. The most obvious symptom is his demon-eating; his ‘stronger’ digestive organs could be some fictional result of MALS. Something or other less blood flow tolerates demon magic something something fantasy. The important thing is, it’s mentioned in the manga that Genya has frequent checkups at the Butterfly Mansion due to his demon eating. I can’t remember exactly where, but im pretty sure it’s mentioned that this ability is harmful to his health/causes him pain. Therefore it’s not unreasonable to assume that eating demons can trigger Genya’s MALS, just as tuna triggers mine. Additionally, it was mentioned in the anime (I believe it was a Taisho Era Secret in the Swordsmith Village arc?) that Genya often refuses food, going long periods without eating. This is a common mental side effect of MALS- a lot of patients, myself included, develop a hesitance or even fear of eating due to the likelihood of it triggering a flareup. It’s likely that Genya is doing the same thing.

Anyway!! If you have any questions, or feel that I’ve missed something, please let me know!! As per usual for me I’ve written this mostly past 3am, so it’s possible I could have my lore crossed!! Regardless id be interested to hear everyone’s thoughts on this headcanon, because it’s not one that I’ve heard before. Thanks for reading! 💜🪲

[englishsub]

fic writer meme!

i was tagged by @microcomets and @cairoscene :) thank you friendz

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

22, which is both more and less than i expected.

2. what's your total ao3 wordcount?

529,320

3. what fandoms do you write for?

i've branched out in recent years; like my fellow taggers, i write for fewer fandoms that i'm in. food takes ages to cook and even longer to actually commit to. i started with mdzs/cql and tgcf before moving to shl/tyk, though now i mostly write trigun and video game fic.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

爱不释手; never let me go

总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near)

花无百日红; the flower that withers

在此恭迎夷陵老祖; to yiling laozu, the great and venerable

蓝色生死恋; a blue love (to live and to die for)

me 🤝 cair wangxian monopoly

5. do you respond to comments?

not usually - if the comment jumps out in some way or asks a question about podficcing i might, but i generally don't. i read every single one and hold them close to my heart, though.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

LOL it's an open ending but the implications are pretty clear - 美丽的日子; beautiful days

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most of them end happy, except when they don't :)

8. do you get hate on fics?

not really. i did for a stint back in 2021 when that anon was going around but it was honestly very funny for me.

9. do you write smut?

sometimes.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you have written?

just the one time, not usually. it was a threadfic - a mdzs/tgcf crossover where wwx was raised by hualian instead of the jiangs.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

yeah. the good ole ctrl+f+replace of names. i remember they even stole my author's note. i'd said something to the effect of "i have to go study..." (i was in high school) and they added "which i didn't even end up doing..."

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

yes and i think fic translation is so cool!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope.

14. what's your all time favorite ship?

EVER?

pirates of the caribbean will/elizabeth.

but it's honestly a rotating rotisserie throughout life of my fav ships depending on what i'm hungry for at a given moment. it's 2024 and i'm back in ff7 hell, for instance.

15. what is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

歃血; blood oath, and it pains me deeply to admit. not because i have any measure of anxiety about returning to it, or feel any pressure, but because it genuinely had one of my favorite premises and setups, was super gory and horrific, and i'd packed in every crazy trope i love into the outline. i was really excited about. then the fandom imploded and i can't look at it anymore.

she's my white whale. i'd finish it for @megafaunatic alone.

16. what are your writing strengths?

atmosphere. payoff. saying things are like other things. i understand this is annoying for some people though, which is fair.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

i put off every single sex scene in a fic until i had written everything else, such that i had to sit and write 10,000 words, spread across three scenes, of sex. worst week of my life.

internal logic, because i think it's so obvious in my head that i forget to explain it in words on the page.

i think i always can improve on character voice. that's an eternal work in progress.

18. thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics?

it's cool. probably good to consult a native speaker if writer of the fic doesn't speak it, though?

19. first fandom you wrote for?

christ. harry potter, by hand, in pencil, in an a5 notebook.

20. favorite fic you have written?

recency bias compels me to say by the time the apocalypse began, because i worked my ass and head off for it, and i ended up really happy with how it turned out. sci-fi's not really my wheelhouse.

i have a huge soft spot for my clj arranged marriage fic, 双命; twin fates, because i had such a blast writing it. and 总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near) will always be special to me, because it was like taking a huge, glittering, orgasmic shit.

i believe quite a few people have already been cross-tagged but i will tag you guys again for fun: @yuebings @cafecliche @dcyiyou @vinelark @floofyfluff @ziusik

[mad-scientist-enthusiast]

"The Haunted Flesh Machine"

@plaguedghosts @iwrotesomeofitdown @notjustanyannie

Here is my slam poem. Thank you for the encouragement!

I'd like to preface this by saying it is a poem of my struggles and fears, and this should not be taken as the most mentally healthy or even correct writing.

CW: discussion of disordered eating, slight suicidal ideation, a little bit of internalized ableism

I’m losing my grip on reality. Each hour of the day slips from beneath my fingertips before I can even close my hand. 

My motor functions are so much slower these days. 

I walk through a persistent haze, going through the motions, but I am never present for them. My body acts on autopilot, but the battery is on low. 

I’m smart—I always have been—I’m an engineer for crying out loud—but I don’t think I can access that anymore. My intelligence is locked behind a firewall in my brain. 

Do you know how insane that is? Being unable to use your own mind? 

All my judgments are tinted because the brightness is turned down. I think my brain is in battery-saver mode. 

The fatigue is the worst because I can feel it all throughout my body. No amount of sleep seems to recharge me. I am perpetually tired and confused and dizzy and unaware. 

I’m sure my eating habits don’t help. I’m just putting water in my gas tank. No amount of Fanta Orange and Lucky Charms is going to make up for the entire sections of the food pyramid I am missing. I try to start my brain up, but water isn’t quite nearly as combustible, and I end up with no output. 

I want to be in control. I want my body to work. I don’t want my vision to get darker with every step I take. 

Another day, another near-emergency. My heart beats too fast, my blood pressure falls too low. Sometimes presyncope lasts for longer than it needs to. 

Sometimes I change colors like a chameleon on its deathbed. 

My code is flagging for errors, but I’m running it anyway. 

I think my computer is getting overheated. My face is hot to the touch. 

If this was the Victorian Era, my symptoms would be romanticized. There’s something poetic about wasting away. 

I fear that I’m getting weaker by the week. 

Another day, another new problem. Which diagnosis does it fit under? I’m too tired to make a spreadsheet, not that I could log it if I did. 

What month is it anyway? How many months have I been here? It seems like an eternity when I’m in pain, but time passes too quickly when I’m not. 

I haven’t taken my meds in a while. I’ve given up on them working. Neglect is also a form of control. 

I’m rotting inside. I’m rotting in my bed. I hardly leave my bed, but when was the last time I slept? 

Surely this will have no repercussions. 

I’m smart for a day, so my expectations are high, and as a result, my workload is too. I’m a workaholic on the days I’m present at all. 

That’s who they see when they look at me. They don’t see that I’m sick. They don’t connect the dots on the days I wear a little less makeup than usual. 

They don’t even bother to look. 

I’m fighting for control over my mind and my body, and they are none the wiser. 

If I were underweight, maybe they’d care a little. Maybe they’d treat me with a little more care. It’s easier to tell when something is wrong when you’re underweight. 

I could collapse in the middle of a busy street and no one would even give it a second glance. They might even walk over me, thinking I was part of the sidewalk. 

On the off chance they did see, what a shame it would be, for the one time I'm perceived, I lack bodily autonomy. 

Is it worth being noticed when you're unconscious? Is it worth it if the one time I am seen is when I have no control over whether my mouth is hanging open or my shirt is riding up? I've spent so long meticulously curating the way I look to others, just to be totally helpless when it matters. 

I can change my wallpaper but that doesn't make my phone work any better. And people don't see the wallpaper first, they see the cracks in the screen. 

Sometimes I am conscious but not responsive. I lie like a corpse, observing, but not interacting as they crowd around me. Observing as they look at me. 

They could not provide the help I need. 

They only see me when I'm outside my body—a freakshow display of my vulnerability. 

Maybe if I hit my head next time, I'll reboot. I could use a factory reset. 

I often think of what it would be like to have a better brain. I think mine is haunted. 

Do you have to be dead to be a spirit? 

My head is possessed by a ghost that lurks in my nerves tissue and flesh. I hear it wail whenever I move, mourning a loss I cannot understand. 

A restless spirit leads to a restless night, and each night I can't sleep I blame the ghost. 

I wish sleep could fix me. I'm so tired all the time. 

The ghost must be what powers my perpetual motion machine. Inertia isn’t enough. I keep going and going until eventually I explode. 

I don’t think I’ll make it to my 40’s. 

My body will break itself down until it can digest me, and I’ll eat myself like an ouroboros. 

I don’t want to die, I just want to rest. 

If I sleep for a good year, maybe I’ll feel human again. I would like to feel human again. 

I dream that one day I will collapse, and people will rush me to the hospital. There, the doctors will find out exactly what is wrong with me, and that it can be treated by taking a pill. And then, I get better. 

My face will look a little softer, my eyes a little less heavy. I’ll walk everywhere I go, and I’ll stand up in the mornings. 

Maybe food will be less of a battle when I’m healthy. 

Maybe I’ll burn in the atmosphere before I crash down to earth. 

Right now, my collision course is set toward hospitals, tubes, and wires. I’ll only have to sign away my autonomy when I check-in. 

Is there early prevention for a trojan virus? 

Did I ever have a chance? Fated to keep running on empty until there’s nothing left to run. 

I have no salvation, I am just a machine. 

There is no happy ending for me.

[xantissa]

I was talking to some new friends recently and realized a lot of them were never taught how to manage painful/extremely painful periods.

The fact you should see a doctor if you routinely have super painful periods is a given, but in all my years of having periods so painful I would pass out multiple times a day from pain, no doctor ever told me any useful tips on how to live through them so here are the tidbits I have learned through experience and research:

1) pain management - if you know your periods are freaking painful do not wait for the pain to start. That's too late! Start the painkiller routine a day before if you can manage or at the very first sign of it. Start it and keep it! Check how long your preferred painkiller works and set a strict schedule of taking it. If you do it you will not let the pain get into the horrid stage. Basically do the same thing people with chronic pain do for pain management only your will last probably a week or so.

2) anti histamines- if you feel super bloated, sometimes to the point that it feels like your insides can't fit in your belly anymore? That's not an illusion. It's ACTUALLY what's happening. For some reason during periods our bodies start a fierce histamine reaction- histamine causes swelling of internal tissues and then yes, they kinda don't fit anymore. Act like you are having an allergic reaction and do an anti histamine routine for 2-3 days. Again, the meds have to be taken regularly to keep a proper level of meds in the system. Just taking one when you feel the worst won't really do anything.

3) electrolytes- if your periods are painful you are probably bleeding like a stuck pig. That's a hell of a lot of electrolytes just going down the drain. Literally even. Buy some of those dissolvable electrolytes and always have them at home. Drink some when bleeding, they will help with the dizziness, nausea and feeling of weakness.

Remember we drink electrolytes to avoid a risk of Heart Attack! It's not a new fanged health tip. The less electrolytes we have in the bloodstream the more risk of our heart going high wire especially when our bodies are under such tremendous stress.

4) no heat! - it may feel good for some, but heat will increase your bleeding and make the internal swelling worse. The heavier the bleed the less heat. Worst case scenarios I have known people who landed themselves in hospital by using heat packs when having a super heavy bleeding.

5) muscle relaxants - best effect for period pain are combo meds that contain muscle relaxants and painkillers. However what you might not know is that muscle relaxants lower your blood pressure, which already might be low because of the period. Try to keep an eye out on them and if it starts falling beyond your usual values beware. Look into changing your meds too, because you are probably reacting too strongly to the relaxant.

6) food - try to eat, even though you probably don't want to even think about it due to pain. Something easily digestible and caloric so that you can eat very little. You are bleeding like a victim of attempted murder. It's a huge strain on your body, give it some fuel in small dozes. Even a piece of chocolate is better than nothing.

7) rest as much as you can, don't try to force yourself to do everything as usual. There's no shame in it and your body really needs it.

I know finding a good doctor is pretty much as easy as finding a unicorn but never stop trying and by god, if it's at all possible, get the transvaginal ultrasound once a year. It may save your life.

[inherlight]

Mawls / Lore / Frisky but Rambunctious

Due to Mawls’ eyes and oral cavities taking up so much volume in their heads, less space is left for their brains, which makes Mawls… even if it sounds rude – the least intelligent of any tribes. On the other hand high-grade Engifted Mawls are usually more powerful because of low world insight, but for the same reason low-grade Engifted are weak. Too, their lower intelligence makes them least susceptible to Envy and Serpent’s influence, as it is steered into positive side of emotions. It is a rare sight to see a Mawl depressed or angry, few turn Envious, and no known cases of an Abomination. Some people compare Mawl’s mindset to of a smarter puppy: hyperactive – they act before thinking, always restless and never let other to rest, always short on thoughts and pareidolic.

Even so Mawls have just one eyeball, they actually have four optic nerves – one for each end of their X-shaped pupil, and each end can be close independently. Nostrils are located in very corners of an eye, neighboring lacrimal sacs.

Mawls’ bodies are remarkable. They are tolerant to harsh weather – can easily regulate temperature and adapt to sharp pressure changes; they can stay physically restless throughout whole day barely tired or out of breath, nor hungry, nor sweating, while narrowly burn through nutrients by recycling used energy and byproducts of inner chemicals reactions; with circadian rhythm lasting for around three days and an exceptionally long lifespan – all these attributed to unique compounds and hormones in their thick bodily fluids, which are toxic and highly hallucinogenic to sistren tribes, but also helpful in medicine (Mawl’s blood for example is often used to complete all-tribe anesthesia, painkillers and antibiotics). In total of four elastic heart-like organs located in each breast and upper thigh to help with fluid circulation and recycling, hence Mawl bodies often look voluptuous.

In general Mawls are the most genial and social of all tribes, but others try to reduce any interactions with them to a minimum, and some actually feel contempt towards Mawls for all troubles and annoyances they usually cause, majority of which are related to chemistry – even Mawls’ diet may include products which are very dangerous to other species, or environment itself, so certain prohibitions exist to prevent possible pollutions (they still can eat common food with no problem after all). Mawl biology is badly compatible with any other, but any health complication while communicating with one can be easily avoided with simple common precaution: it is not recommended to allow them directly contact with your body for too long (especially bright tips of their tendrils), as outer layer of their skin is infused with slow-acting venoms, thus wash your hands or take a shower the same day; don’t communicate and breathe the same air for too long either; nor drink or eat from the same source, and bring your own water if you visit Mawl dedicated districts just in case. Supoosing you neglect all warning – don’t worry, at worst you will just get spaced-out or become mentally impaired for a short time… If this happens, but you still can think even a little bit, avoid looking in their eyes, it very likely will produce additional hypnotic effect on your brain.

At least microflora is as active as they are, and seldom fatal – most Mawl viruses and bacteria die in a few minutes outside of home biome (whilst foreign invaders and parasites promptly expire in Mawls’ adverse environment).

However there is a dismal fact – almost half othertribe children from Mawl futhers get chronically diseased with Cyan Rot, and with all medical knowledge we have, still no cure was found or was ever close, only a couple tribes are trully immune; thus many othertribe sistren are avoiding Mawl-intertribe families.

***

From the first moment you find a place in heart of a Mawl her warm feeling towards you are all true and sincere… same a towards everyone else she meet – because Mawl hearts are boundless and open for everyone. Their minds really can’t comprehend any common social and relationship concepts of Meority, not even recognizing personal boundaries: they see all people as member of one great family – as children with thousand parents and parents with thousand children, as never-met sibling-friends with new stories to tell – they want to share love and fun with as many and as much as possible. Because of this social laxity Mawls can’t commit to permanent relationship and quickly forget about them unless you directly involve yourself into their everyday life. Only during mating seasons once every few years Mawls realize something about biological and social difference while it lasts, but then even Mawl families are usually compared to just a short mutual contract for betterment of raising multiple offspring before everyone in a family part their ways, and children of same biological parents will view siblings in each other as much as in other kids.

Nevertheless, very friendly and tactile, expect Mawls to constantly cuddle, nuzzle and snuggle with you if you are even slightly amiable to them no matter what you say (for health safety keep in mind previous paragraphs); be aware though as some of them easily befriend with you – others as easily to indulge in irritating mischievous and rascal behavior towards you, not from detest but because it might seems fun and gaiety for their frivolous naughty mood. Worry not, they are very weak on sexual and reproductive impulses outside of mating seasons unless directly provoked, but they still might be interested in fondling your splendid body for fun. Moreover you need to understand movements of tendrils on their backs as it is a secondary method of emotional expression, which they can barely control.

Mawls also have an unhealthy interest in fur, wool and hair of other species, which Mawls themselves lack – some might be obsessed with it so much they refuse to wear any clothes but those made from animal fiber unless specific uniform is hard imposed on them by religious, professional or military standing, but even then they can throw tantrum.

Social problems with Mawls may run beyond just personal relationship too. Though they are full of energy they are not very productive, sometimes incompetent, nor can concentrate on a task with their short attention span – Mawls are least desirable workforce for other tribes – anything, from administrative to manufacturing; but there still jobs where they are very prominent, like travel and entertainment agencies for their tireless sociability, or dangerous manual labor like deep mining for their adaptability to hazardous environments. Though it is also depends on their personality – they are either can’t get bored doing the same thing everyday for decades, or they get bored in a few days and look for something new to do without warning. In the end they rather prefer to fool around, having fun and work little as possible while celebrating various holidays and festivals they made for every day of the year.

Many believe that solitary Mawl society wouldn’t be as technologically and infrastructurally advanced as it is today, in multitribal world, and the core reason for that would be their mental and physical tolerance to harsh reality of existence and survival, rather than indolence or lesser intelligence – they would just have less reasons to progress in life they already consider delightful.

***

More than half of their tribe regard the Realms of Bosom as a homeland, mainly because of loyalty to Medali royal family (smarter puppy mindset?). As well it is confirmed by historians that their tribe’s name is given to them by sistren tribes because of a “barking” sound they often do when jolly and cheery.

Maybe Mawls are not brightest in mind, but they understood well their ability to “pacify” sistren tribes, which they abused to achieve single selfish goal: “Greater Friendship – as She intended”. Mawls are probably the only tribe who never despised or think ill of exiled tribes in Primal Age. It is always noted in old texts that they felt pity and wanted to make peace with every rejected kin, and reunite them with the rest of joint Meority for this “Greater Friendship”. The best of them were mediators, traveling traders, welcomed bringers of news and peacemakers between various outcast villages and isolator nations – faltering the division during violent times; but worst of them would lead cities and even small nations to ruin by constantly poisoning mind and body of their leaders, if not every citizen, to then control and rebuild unity at least for a time being.

Though, when Aspects were begotten, Mawls were helpful for Herquisition to spread the Word of a New Age and Teachings of Aspects, along with some ideas and worldviews from Mawl’s society being absorbed by early Herquisition creed.

[pbandjesse]

Today was actually a really productive day. Despite how crummy I was feeling for a lot of it.

I slept alright. Not the best, not the worst. Waking up wasn't great. The new curtains made the room hide and dark which did not help me wake up. I did hit the snooze button but would only stay in bed a few extra minutes. James was laying on the floor waiting for me to wake up. We had a nice hug and I let them know how as going to take a shower and wash my hair before I left so they didn't need to wait for me. They said alright and wished me luck and would figure out coming to my appointment this afternoon.

I felt a little better after my shower. I was still really anxious and was still nauseous at times. But I was trying to be optimistic. When I went outside our neighbor, Mary, was sitting on her stoop so I went and chatted with her for a bit. I told her about my high blood pressure yesterday and she told me God will take care of it. She is very sweet.

I decided I would go to the McDonald's in hunt valley before I went to camp. I ordered my breakfast and I have no idea how I messed it up so bad but I would end up with a steak and onion mc muffin??? I literally didn't even know it was an option and it smelled like dog food. Gross. I would disassemble it and it wasn't amazing but it was fine. I was just like. Of course this was happen. On this day I was so stressed.

Once I got to camp I would start working on setting up tomorrow's field trip. I took stuff out of the car to make space and when I started loading in the car I realized the car absolutely stink like dog food and Soni had to keep all the windows open for the entire time I was at camp to just to air it out. Gross.

It took about an hour to get everything set. I went around to each station and I think everything looks nice. Its a staff lead one so I hope that my coworkers are smart enough to handle everything. They are all very competent so I am not worried at all.

Once things were set in the woodlands village I would go down to the lodge to drop off the tech stuff and chatted with Joe for a little about the field trips this week. He was working on taking apart the gaga pit, I assume to rebuild, and would be using big machines today.

I went to the office to print and laminate some stuff. Chatted with Alexi about the new appointment and she made me feel like things were going to be okay. Just a little stressed still.

I would stay at camp until 1030. I would print new schedules because the one Elizabeth did yesterday didn't have the group names. And we chatted about the trip and stuff. We also watched Sarah drive the gator with Obie the mini horse in the back which was very silly looking.

I would go and pet Obie for a while. And drank a juice. And then I was out. Elizabeth said I could stay if I wanted more hours but there wasn't anything I needed to do really (I could have jumped into the field trip today as extra hands but they didn't actually need help) so I decided that I should go home and rest before my appointment.

I'm really glad I did.

The drive home was rough on my. Music made me cry. I was nauseous and stressed. I calmed down enough once I was parking but I was just so glad I was home.

There were some people outside our neighbors's house and it turns out they are the former owners of Tori next door's place and our place! I think they are trying to buy Tori's house back since no one is renting it from them and I'm sure they are stressed about it. They were very nice older white people. I told them how much I love this block but I really hope they put a light in on the corner. Because man. The way people drive on this street is insane sometimes. But I love our house and the people on our block. The guy was like well I'm sold, great reviews.

When I went inside I would take Crabcake out to walk around while I sipped my juice and worked on some knitting. I would also soak Crabcake in some warm water for a bit before I moved all of us outside.

I would lay on the swing for about an hour. Until the sun got to hot on my legs. I was not feeling amazing. I was trying to just chill. But I was nervous about the appointment. And I was catastrophizing a bit. So I kept considering doing things that I wouldn't be able to do if something went wrong. It was probably not healthy.

I had a yogurt. And changed my shirt. Twice. I brought everything inside. And it was 115. And I was like. I am just going to go now and wait in the parking lot.

And that is what I did. James would leave the museum at 130, about when I got to the parking lot. At 145 I went inside and checked in. And James got there a few minutes later.

Thankfully the appointment went very well. I did not get an ultrasound, rude. But we did get to hear baby's heartbeat. 140 and doing well. I think I overwhelmed the nurse a bit with all of my problems and concerns. She had to go get sticky notes to write them all down.

My blood pressure was 120/80 today, much less concerning but still higher then normal. The nurse practitioner that I met with today was so sweet. She was such a good listener and I felt a lot more secure in the plan for not feeling terrible. They are going to try and get me zofran again. And they prescribed me an at home blood pressure cuff to monitor myself. James was very nervous the whole appointment but I think hearting baby's heart helped calm us both down.

They did decide to test me for lead while we were there. Which was seemingly a little confusing to the lab techs. And then the phlebotomist wasn't the nicest. But everyone else is so it's all good. They make up for it.

We made my next appointment. I was smart and didn't for 3 weeks this time so it won't line up with my high risk appointment. And I was feeling a lot lighter after everything.

James biked home and I stopped at five below for candy and looking at the T-shirt wall. I would get the greatest iguana shirt. And the cashier complimented my tattoos and I was feeling happy. Still nauseous but happy.

When I got home James had made me a quesadilla. And we hung out together for a bit. They went to watch a show in the other room. And I enjoyed having the backdoor open. Just enjoying the beautiful weather.

James would set up in the living room to record their podcast. And I would focus my little bit of energy on organizing the basement. Putting things away that have been bothering me and making the shelf over the washer/dryer more organized and I am really happy with the work but man did I get sweaty. And then I was absolutely exhausted. It took like an hour to get the basement all together and Im really proud of the productivity but still. Man.

I laid in bed until James got done their podcast. They brought me a bowl of ice cream. And then I went to take a shower while they are their dinner. They would grab a shower after me.

And now we are in bed. And I am very tired. It's a very big field trip tomorrow. 88 kids. But I am really hoping it's a good time. I hope you all have a good day tomorrow. Sleep well. I love you all. Good night!!

[cazort]

I think this lack of acceptance and respect for people with chronic conditions is related to how, at least in the US, the healthcare system is abysmal at treating chronic conditions, in spite of usually being quite good at treating most acute illnesses and injuries.

And the worst chronic conditions are the ones where there are multiple interacting causes and the causes tend to be systemic.

Depression is a classic example. It can be caused and/or worsened by nutritional deficiencies, inactivity, social isolation, abusive or toxic social relationships, negative or untruthful beliefs and messages from culture or from individuals, drug side effects, numerous other medical conditions, insufficient sunlight even.

A more physiological condition that is a classic example is metabolic syndrome, which is a cluster of multiple related conditions including high blood pressure, high blood sugar and/or type II diabetes, fatty liver, and high concentration of visceral fat, kidney disease, heart disease, and PCOS in people with ovaries. It is typically caused by a combination of age, obesity, sedentary lifestyle, diet (especially high consumption of sugars and foods with high glycemic index), stress, poor, inadequate, or disrupted sleep, mood disorders, and drug or alcohol abuse.

Both depression and metabolic syndrome are also influenced by societal factors beyond people's control, such as car-oriented community structure which facilitates a sedentary lifestyle, and the refined-food-heavy food supply which makes foods that worsen both disorders inexpensive and widely available, and healthier foods that might alleviate both of them, scarce and expensive.

I think all of these things are a symptom of the fact that our society is hyper-individualistic and tends to approach chronic conditions from a place of blame and individual responsibility. I.e. you're inactive and eating poorly because you're lazy and lack self-restraint, not because the federal government pours massive amounts of money into subsidizing bulk corn production and road construction, thus facilitating the corn refining industry and flooding the market with HFCS and corn starch and making foods based on these cheap and widely available, and making most communities built around the car, to where it becomes easy to be inactive and have a poor diet and thus develop depression and metabolic syndrome. But develop them? Society tells you: "It's your fault because you're lazy and fat and lack self-restraint. You're worthless so you don't deserve treatment."

I'm all about taking responsibility and pulling yourself out of these conditions. But as a society we can do better. We can do better at supporting and showing compassion for people with chronic conditions. And we can do much, much better at reforming policy to stop creating or fueling the chronic conditions on a population level.

And we have to. We nearly all have chronic conditions, in our current society. That's how bad it's gotten. Our lives and happiness, and the very persistence of our society depends on it. There are no enemies, we are all in this together and we just need to agree to cooperate, to stop shaming people and start supporting each other and working together to change the rules and laws and structures that keep our society broken like this.

There's a mistake I see a lot of people in the mental health community make and in all honesty, it's one I've made myself. But I think we should really work on it. And that's saying "if this were a physical illness, wouldn't you care?"

I've learned that no actually, people wouldn't care. Katelyn Weinstein (theADHDprincess on Twitter) is a neurodiversity acceptance activist who really put this in perspective for me. She said that it's actually more an issue of longevity than physical vs mental health.

If you're having a bad day people will generally be understanding. But when you're experiencing chronic depression and you have many bad days people lose sympathy.

In the same respect people may be understanding when you've broken a bone that will heal properly or when you have a cold that will go away soon in ways they simply won't understand when you have chronic pain or need to use a wheelchair. They may send chicken soup for a temporary situation, but when you need consistent accomodations it's an entirely different story.

I understand that from our perspective it looks like people care more about physical health than mental health, but it's good to remember that our own perspective is also limiting. Facing ableism doesn't mean you can't be ableist. And I know so many people are not ill-intentioned when they say this. I know I wasn't. But we can't discount the lived experiences of physically disabled people. If we want true equality we need to be united and we need to listen to those with physical disabilities and illnesses. And those with physical disabilities and illnesses (some of which are also invisible) have said that they are not given proper accomodations either.

So let's be united and fight for equality and accomodations for everyone, no matter what their illness or disability may be.