#Whereever you are- I hope you are smiling.

[mbohjeezart]

Hermit a Day May: Day 5, TinFoilChef, Reincarnation of the Mines.

Rest in peace, TFC. And here's his full portrait without the text and background:

[jungaji]

when they miss you ౨ৎ

nct dream '00 line ㅤ♡

RENJUN (๑•ᴗ•๑)

you'll always know when renjun misses you because that's when he starts pulling out his mandarin. he calls you late at night, voice soft, laced with the longing he doesn’t really bother hiding,

“我真的好想你吖” (i miss you so much)

“几时才能见面呢？” (when will we get to meet?)

and even if you didn't know or understand chinese before, you've come to learn it after picking it up from him through these calls over time. he always tells you that it's enough to know just these pretty words, and that you don't need to know more.

each phrase or sentence he tells you carries a bit of his heart, and its those little 我爱你 (i love you) moments that linger with you, bridging any distance between the two of you.

JENO (.◜◡◝)

missing you is almost like a battle jeno tries not to lose. he'll pretend like its no big deal, acting like he's just casually checking in on you when he texts, “whatchu doing?”

you always tease him for how obvious he gets—especially because the moment you tell him he can come over, he's at your door before you can even blink.

you open it to find his cheeks flushed, his signature eye smile breaking out as he murmurs a quick and bashful “hi,” before he's pulling you close, lips crashing onto yours. from there, he's glued to your side, following you around whereever you go—even to the bathroom. “i just wanna be close to you!”

whether he's helping you out with little things around your house or just leaning against the wall watching you, his presence fills every corner, as if he can finally relax now that he's with you.

HAECHAN ʕ•Ⱉ•ʔ

being apart from you is a nightmare for hyuck. he's naturally clingy, always close whenever he's with you. but when he's away, its like his clinginess amplifies a thousand times.

if he's the one who's busy, he'll video-call you the second he has any free time, even if it's just a simple “hi”, he can't help but want to see your pretty face and hear your sweet voice.

and when you're the one who's busy? your phone will be bombarded with his texts, asking what you're doing, who you're with, and why you're not with him. if you take too long to respond, he starts sending texts like, “so what position are the two of you in rn?” or, “i know you hate me at least say it to my face.”

and just when you're about to nag at him for being ridiculous, he always makes sure to send you a selfie of himself, teary eyed with a cute pout, accompanied with a, “i just miss you :(”

JAEMIN ₍ᐢ ɞ̴̶̷ ̫ ɞ̴̶̷ ᐢ₎

jaemin swears he misses you all the time, but when the two of you are truly apart, he goes the extra mile to make sure you feel it too.

he's always checking in—texts asking if you've eaten, reminders to rest, and occasionally surprising you with food deliveries whenever he knows you haven't had the time to cook. acts of service come naturally to him—its his way of making sure you're taken care of even when he can't be there himself.

and then there are his calls. his voice soft but steady, filling any silence with gentle reminders of how much he misses you. he never lets the distance feel like an obstacle, his words reaching you with such warmth that its as if he's right there beside you.

“i wish i could be there by your side.”

authors notes: just a lil smth before i disappear for the next few weeks, school has been tough on me :,[ also ive never written in this format before but im really happy with how this turned out hehe i hope youll enjoy, happy reading<3

[onlyangel4]

Ooo what about Got Me Started by Troye sivan with Charles??

got me started. cl16. writen + smau.

charles leclerc x model!reader

you thought attending the eras tour would be the most exciting part of the night. you never imagined you would meet the man of your dreams while there

author's note: guys this might be one of my favourite things i have ever written.

warnings: cursing.

y/ninsta posted a story

written: hanging with bestie begging her to tell me what surprise songs she is gonna play tonight

y/ninsta

liked by taylorswift, maisiepeters, sabrinacarpenter and 1,002,283

y/ninsta: gold rush

view all 14,852 comments

taylorswift: is this your hundredth attempt to convince me to play gold rush tonight

y/ninsta: yes, yes it is

user1: y/n is so real for the gold rush love

user2: come on taylor listen to your friend

sabrinacarpenter: pretty girl

y/ninsta: means a lot coming from the prettiest girl

celebsaterastour posted two stories

story one written: model y/n y/ln arriving to the stadium in milan in her gold rush inspired outfit

story two written: f1 driver charles leclerc spotted in the vip tent ahead of paramore's opening set

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"just follow me down here y/n", a security guard spoke trying to navigate you through the see of fans that swarmed you as soon as you got into the stadium. security had been awaiting your arrival but your driver had accidentally dropped you off at the general admission entrance and that meant the second fans saw you leaving your car you were swarmed by fans, they had good intentions but they also made it so you could not get to where you needed to go. so in a panic you had called over one of the stadium security guards and he managed to get through to taylor's security, the people that had been waiting for you to arrive. it was all a little bit of a mess but the big burly man in front of you effortlessly made the crowd part allowing you down onto the floor of the stadium. "taylor made a note to put you in the left vip tent, she said there ws someone there that she wanted you to meet", he spoke and you quirked an eyebrow. what was your best friend planning?. you just nodded your head with a smile and soon enough you were there in the tent, protected from the fans.

"thank god for that", you spoke as you picked up a bottle of water that had been set on the side. "are you alright?", a masculine voice spoke from your side and you looked up to be met with a man that you had never met before but you gave him a smile, "i'm okay there was a little bit of a mix up when getting into the stadium, so fans came running, for a moment there i thought i was going to get trampled", you ranted to this stranger before shaking your head, "sorry you probably don't want to listen to me yap on"

"on the contrary i quite like a yapper", he spoke and you laughed, finding this man's charm rather endearing. "i'm charles by the way", he introduced himself, "i'm y/n"

"so y/n what are you doing in milan? you don't sound like you are from around here"

"very perceptive", you teased, "i'm a model i kind of live whereever the jobs are but i have been working on a promotional campaign here. taylor is a very close friend of mine and i was gutted that i was not in the states when she was there so she arranged for me to come here", you explained and he listened, that was nice.

"i understand, i'm an f1 driver so i am all over the place most of the time, i usually miss out on big events like this and end up with fomo so i felt lucky that this show is on my week off", he spoke.

"well i hope you enjoy the show, taylor is an insane performer, she doesn't half know how to put on a show"

and with that the eras tour intro began to play signifying that your best friend was about to come on stage, you cheered for her, showing the man next to you that you truly were taylor's number one fan. the first few songs of the set flew by with you smiling from ear to ear the entire time. when lover began to play your body began to sway side to side in time with the music and charles found his body doing the same next to yours. charles would not call himself a massive taylor swift fan but he had heard that she put on a brilliant show and that was why he had arranged to attend the concert. but right now stealing glances at your happy swaying form next to him made him very grateful that he had come to the concert.

during the fearless section of the show the endorphins got to your brain and any ounce of shyness left your body so you turned to charles and began singing the lyrics with him bouncing a little on your heels just having the best time. charles even took your hands during love story just having the most fun ever. your happiness truly was infectious, he did not care that their were thoursands of people with cell phones surrounding the pair of you. honestly he hoped some of them were filming so he could have videos of this night forever.

as the concert went through you spent time just dancing and singing with charles but when taylor started singing delicate, it became apparent that there was tension their between you both, charles had moved to stand behind you and you leant you body back against his, your head resting against his stong chest, "is this okay?", he asked as his hands moved torest around your waist

"yes", you exhaled softly, you were still singing the songs but you definetly got a few lyrics wrong thanks to the intoxicating presence of the man behind you. if you were paying attention you would have noticed the way taylor seemed to be singing directly in the direction of the vip tent that you were in, her blue eyes watching you and charles a smug grin on her lips. but you did not notice that you were too busy trying to not get caught up in this moment you were sharing with a stranger.

when delicate finished charles moved back to your side rather than beside you, you grabbed a few drinks from the cooler that was in the vip tent asking if you wnated anything and you accepted one of the canned cocktails that you had asked taylor to get you and charles had a beer.

you and charles remained close for the rest of the show, gentle touches between both of you, charles gently moving your hair out of your face or resting an arm around your shoulders. it was nice, yes you knew nothing about this man but it just felt right.

when taylor got to the surprise song section of the concert you turned to charles, "I am going to kill her if she doesn't play my song" and that made charles laugh

"what is your song?", he asked

"oh you will know if she plays it"

and he knew straight away as taylor began to introduce the song.

"so many of you know that i do take requests for the surprise song section and well there is one person here who has gone above and beyond to request this song. this past week she has text me every single day about this one song. she even wore an outfit inspired by this song. safe to say this y/n y/ln's favourite song", taylor spoke and the fans that knew you cheered knowing exactly what taylor was about to sing and you were beaming, you pulled your phone out to film it but charles turned to you, "you enjoy this, i will film it", he spoke and and you handed him your phone. he filmed the song even getting some footage of you singing your heart out. once the song was done you smiled taking your phone back from charles kissing his cheek thank you.

as taylor finished singing karma you turned to charles, "are you going to the after party?", you questioned.

"i haven't been told about an after party", he spoke, obviously not wanting to leave your side but not wanting to go to a party that he had not been invited to.

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erastourupdates posted a story

written: charles leclerc and y/n y/ln were photographed arriving at a club in milan where taylor is holding her post show after party

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once inside of the club your eyes found taylor quickly, she was stood with travis smiling ear to ear at the sight of you and charles holding hands. you ran over to her pulling her into a hug, "you are insane", you laughed softly. charles had left you alone and headed to the bar to grab you both drinks.

"he is something else", you confided in your best friend, "we just have this chemistry, i can't even describe it"

"i watched you two during gold rush, he looked at you like a man stunned", taylor spoke and you blushed softly.

"i know i told you not to meddle in my love life but you cooked here", you spoke making her laugh out loud just as charles got to your side, "i thought you might like this, it is like those cans you were drinking earlier"

"thank you charles", you spoke taking it from him taking a sip, "shit this is good", you smiled. taylor then took travis' hand and pulled him onto the dance floor and charles gave you a questioning look making you giggle, "is this you asking me to dance". he didn't answer instead he took your free hand and pulled you onto the dancefloor finding a space in between all the moving bodies. you both still had drinks inyour hands but you made it work, your body effortlessly moving against his in time with the music playing on the speakers. charles finished his beer and set the cup down and you did the same with yours. this allowed you both to get as close to each other as you wanted.

charles rested his hands on your hips his eyes looking down at you, "pretty girl", he whispered softly and your eyes looked up at him, "can i kiss you?", he questioned and you wordlessly nodded. his lips moved down to meet yours in a sensual kiss and the rest of the room melted away around you. his hand travelled down to the small of your back pulling you against him.

"fuck", you whispered once you pulled away making him chuckle.

"y/n i think we should get out of here"

"you are not getting lucky on the first night" you warned playfully

"i know but i want to actually get to know you, i want to actually spend time with you and i don't think we can do that in this club, let me take you back to my hotel room, no funny business"

charles kept to his promise. you guys went straight back to his hotel and you just spoke for hours before falling asleep cuddled up to one another. and that is what started a relationship with the love of your life.

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

y/ninsta

liked by taylorswift, charlesleclerc, iamrebeccad and 1,248,734

tagged: charlesleclerc

y/ninsta: tbt to the very first night

view all 56,873 comments

user3: i still can't believe taylor swift is the one that introduced charles and y/n

charlesleclerc: the best night of my life

y/ninsta: i love you so much

taylorswift: i knew you guys would get on, i didn't know you would get on this week

y/ninsta: well it has been six months and he isn't sick of me yet so you did pretty well

iamrebeccad: i am so grateful for miss swift because she is the reason i met you

y/ninsta: aw i love you becca

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[meowsgirldrawing]

Angst idea Obey Nightbringer running through my head

Part 2 here

So MC was dropped from the sky basically right? Mammon caught then and promptly asked them for payment once they woke up, like the sweet man he is-

I love the theory that MC just disappeared then from the present.

Cause I see this-

Imagine a typical morning in Devildom. The day is calm as it could be- AS IT COULD BE- and the brothers are all slowly trickling into the dinning room for breakfast. One of them is the cook today, probably Mammon, and hes making some nice meal he knows is MC's favorite.

When its served, he going along, ignoring the accusations and teases from his brothers, but as hes about to plop into his own seat, hungry for some rare human food- Lucifer stops him. All of them.

Hes looking around, a furrow in his brow, "Where's MC?"

Thats when the empty seat next to a slightly more awake Belphie and for-once-pausing-in-his-breakfast Beel gets brought to light. Usually MC picks whereever they want to sit for the meals on their own, typically being one of the first ones there. But they're obviously not around.

Lucifer sighs, then orders Mammon to go grab them. Sleepy little human, is a phrase Belphie snickers at.

For once, Mammon isnt grumbling about the order, he estactic actually! He gets to see MC's light up face at their favorite dish! Made by him!

Of course, he masks a grumble, but hes all smiles on the way to their room.

As per tradition, he marches right in, esclaiming loud and proud about his success of making a typical weirdo human dish for his hum-

His human?

He stops in his tracks. MC isnt there. Their sheets are ruffled. Their uniform is still hung high on the closet door, and their bags and everything else they grab for the day is laying about. Never been touched.

Huh.

Imagine Mammon coming back with confusion, saying how MC isnt in their room.

Imagine after his explanation, they get too antsy to finish breakfast, they just get up to search for them. They tried messaging at first. Even calling. But they quickly found their phone lying under the sheets, still on charge. The constant ringing sending them on edge.

Beel is texting Luke and Simeon, but they have no clue whats going on. No, they haven't seen MC since their last cooking class yesterday.

Diavolo gets back to Lucifer with obvious worry in his text. MC said they were going straight home after the counsel meeting, though.

Barbatos repeats the same.

Asmodeus tries to message Soloman, his hands trying not to shake as he follows Satan and Levi around the house, both calling MC's name. All 3 growing more anxious and unsettled as they get no response.

But Soloman doesnt even respond.

Mammon? The first one to discover MC's disappearance? Hes on the verge of freaking out.

He keeps up his bite in his tone "OI HUMAN! Where the hell are ya!" Hes going from room to room like the rest of the brothers "YOU BETTER FREAKING RESPOND! O-or-.." His voice starts cracking. Every second he doesnt see his human feels even worse than the last, "MC! F-FOR FUCKS SAKE- RESPOND DAMN IT!" His arms burn with the constant throwing open doors, the moving of furniture. Where the fuck are they??

Once the house has been checked once. Twice. Lucifer even checking Cerberous's lurking grounds, silently hoping to not find any remains possible. The dog's 3 heads stares at his master confused though the whole thing, watching with silent ponder over Lucifer making rounds and rounds about the lot, calling for the human that helps with his monthly cleaning and daily treat giving.

The search continues out, all 7 demon brothers joined by the worried king and his butler, the two angels, as well as a few of their other demons, and Reaper.

All day and into the night they search, all desperate to not find out the worse of worse fates of the human.

The first night is hard. Lucifer had to call of the search for the night, allow himself and his brothers to rest from running all over Devildom. Diavolo sends his well wishes as he does the same, with the plan for first thing to send out better search options.

The brothers hudle in one of the main living rooms. They cant stop talking about it all, where could they be? Does someone have them?? Are they even safe??

Theres a moment where Mammon spits out a curse, hopping back up with a growl, and claiming to go back out again.

Lucifer can see his weariness and orders him to sit back down. His younger brother snarls back a retort, hellbent on finding their human. Maybe even socking whoever has them into the ground if he finds even a single glimpse of that idea.

The agrument goes back and forth, most of the brothers watching in either fury, worriedness, dread, or all. The argument only gets stopped in its tracks when a knock comes that the entrance.

Before Lucifer or any of his brother utter a single word, Mammon is booking it to the door. He tosses it open, expecting- no- hoping on every last grim its Lamentation's only human resident coming home.

But its not that.

Soloman stands alone at the door. His arms tight behind his back, expression stretched as if his words burn his mouth.

"I know where MC is."

-this turned out longer than I wanted, but I kinda plan to write this fully and in more detail. Just beta version y'know?

[teddybeartoji]

mickeyyyyy *smiles too wide* i would love to hear ur thoughts about snow leopard hybrid!gojo if ur up for it,,,the words themselves just itched something in my brain

MOSS<333333333 i love ur smile btw I AM KINDA NEW TO HYBRIDS OKAY BUT THIS ONE IS JUST SOOOOOOO MMMMMMM also wait here is the twt art that made me lose it (everybody say thank u logan we love u logan for showing it to me) AAAAAAAAAAA IT'S SOOO FUCKING GOOOOOD HE LOOKS SOSO PERFCECT it suits him so well my brain is all mushy already

geto locking him out bc he purred too loudly fuuuuuuuuckkkkkkk he's so cute i want him. like he'd be sooooo clingy right?????? always trying to settle down in your lap always trying to get you to pet him to scratch his ears and he ALWAYSSS PURRS SOOOO LOUDLYY although i would never lock him out sugu is weak for that smh... i think he'd kind of like it when you played with his tail too?? usually felines don't like that too much but since it's you - he loves that shit. he likes to twirl it around your arm and his eyes go so big whenever that makes you laugh GOOD GODDDDDDDD look this is a full on ramble i hope something makes sense too i'm sorry for that i just🥴🥴🥴

oh my god he probably waits for you by the door when you come home, biting down on his tail just like in the picture?????? i'm kinda torn between whether he'd be good while you're gone or would he act up bc i mean it's satoru. the ultimate brat. so maybe he does scratch the couch a little or something? to show how upset he is over you leaving him at home:(((( you can't stay mad either bc c'mon look at him:((((((((((((((((((((((( god i wanna pet him sm

he probably likes to take care of you in his own way too right? like groom you? is that the word? he'd want to lick you, clean you, make sure you're all relaxed and feeling good after a long day. he's such a good boy:(((( he loves you:((((((((

oh and obviously he's super fucking clingy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean that's canon for him anyway but now even more. he always wants to drape himself in your lap, his tail curling around you like i said before too. please scratch his ears please please please:((( when you're trying to cook he's glued to your side, nuzzling into your skin - whether it's into your neck or just your back, he just wants to be close to you:(((

he also likes to nip at your skin!!!! there have been a few times where he bites down just a tad bit too hard and it drew blood but it was an accident!!!! he never wants to hurt you he felt so bad after that:(( went at sat in the corner with his tail between his legs:(((((( but you of course forgive him and coax him back to you with some belly rubs

after that he learned how to be more gentle, though. so now he often just fakes biting you just to hear you laugh or playfully scold him. when he does sink his teeth in - maybe your arm or your thigh; he always keeps eye-contact.

when you're just lazing around - reading a book, playing a video game - he's always next to you. always. maybe every once in a while he decides to take a nap, belly up, paws kind of folded and oh, he looks adorable like that. he's just a big kitty okay. btw he's always touching you. clingyclingyclingy. even when he's sleeping, he has to be touching you in some way.

SUGGESTIVE! gets upset when you come home and you have other smells on you. especially other mens' smells. maybe your co-worker hugged you goodbye or something and now his cologne sticks to your skin and satoru can't have that. he's just immediately pawing at you - begging for your attention and when you grant him that, he's jumping on you, pushing you down and licking over whereever the stench is. after he deems you clean, he just rubs himself against you - his way of marking you. you don't know that though... you just think he really missed you...... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

can hybrids go into heat............................? LOOK I'M NEW HERE OKAY I NEED TO LEARN. if they do.............. if he does............ oh boy... you need to get something to surpress those bc he will lose it. he's humping your bed, he's humping your pillow, he's sniffing your clothes. your underwear. sometimes he's pawing at your dresser, looking for more clothes but mostly his target is the dirty laundry basket....................................... everything goes when you're out....... he's gonna make a big big mess..............................................🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴 ok i think i need to stop myself here otherwise i'll really lose it........................

moss i need to hear your thoughts on this. NEEEED TO HEAR THEM. DESPERATELY NEED TO. if u know about hybrids u can teach me. i'm..... in it now......................... heheheheheh this was so fun i'm sorry it took a min love but yeah i can't wait to hear your ideas aaaaaaaaaa I LOVE YOIUUUU I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD DAY MY BELOVED<3333

[ponderingmoonlight]

Yuji taking you on an ice-skating date

Pairing: Yuji x reader

Word Count: 1k

Synopsis: You never went ice-skating in your entire life, but when Yuji asks you out...Who are you to say no to your secret crush?

Warnings: reader is a lil clumsy on the ice, just pure fluff, Yuji is the cutest, this request was in russian so whereever you are: I hope you enjoy and thank you my girls for translating 🤍

You can’t help but admire the snow-kissed landscape around you, all the trees and bushes that are covered in a glittery layer of ice that sparkles in the down-going sun.

But what is far better is the sight next to you.

“I can’t believe you never went ice-skating before! There’s nothing better than getting out of the city onto a little frozen lake.”

Oh, but there is him. Itadori Yuji, the pink-haired boy with a heart of pure gold. Not even the stinging fact that he’s the vessel of Ryomen Sukuna now can tear your gaze away from his gleaming eyes.

“Well, I’m not particularly good at ice-skating, y’know”, you remark with a shy grin.

The truth is, you never really went onto ice in your entire life. It just never appealed to you enough to go out all by yourself and glide over frozen water on your own. But with Yuji by your side, you might change your mind. Everything seems to be better with him, after all.

“Don’t worry (y/n)! I’ll teach you some moves!”

Electricity runs through your veins when he grabs your hand in order to help you into the skates you borrowed from Nobara. Just one glance at the perfectly frozen lake makes your palms sweat. You might want to spend time with your crush, but falling onto your ass and whining in front of him definitely isn’t involved in that.

“Let’s get started!”, he announces all excited.

He makes it look so damn easy, glides around the ice as if it’s the only thing he���s ever done in his entire life. Backwards, in circles, from the left to the right, fast and steady. And if you weren’t threatened to fall over right onto your nose any given minute, you could just stand here and stare at him all evening.

But your feet start to move on the icy surface on their own. Out of instinct, you stretch out your arms, wiggle for balance. But the more you move, the harder it gets to keep your face on the ground, to not fall over-

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”

Just before you’re about to fall very unladylike onto your butt, Yuji catches you in his strong arms with that smile that simply takes your breath away. You can feel your cheeks heat up in an instant, doe eyes staring right into his ones.

“Do you want me to show you some moves? I might not be the best teacher, but at the end of the day you’ll be able to skate on your own and that’s pretty cool!”

The way he softly smiles at you with his hand still resting intertwined with yours makes your heart skip a beat. This boy is everything you could have ever asked for, everything you never knew you needed. Yuji Itadori is so pure and full of love that it melts your heart like hot chocolate.

“Let’s give it a try.”

“That’s the spirit. Give me your other hand, I’ll show you how it’s done.”

You don’t hesitate. The second you position yourself in front of him with both of your hands laying in his larger ones, you are lost. Lost by the way he moves, lost by his cheerful smile, lost by the atmosphere around you. You feel like floating around, the ice underneath you becoming more and more minor. It’s just you and Yuji. Yuji holding your hands. Yuji not ripping his gleaming eyes away from you.

Just Yuji Itadori.

Until your blade hits a bump unexpectedly, sending you towards the ground faster than you are able to react. Fuck, you’re gonna fall and make a fool out of yourself in front of your secret crush, you’ll ruin this whole date with your clumsiness-

“Ooops, looks like the ice wasn’t even there. Are you okay (y/n)?”, Yuji laughs out, wrapping his arms around your waist, catching you mid-air with ease.

All you can do is hold your breath while staring up at his face. Only inches away, close enough to get touched by your fingertips, close enough to get touched by your lips. Oh, how beautiful he looks in the down-going sun, how mesmerized you are by his visible breath in the cold air.

But what hypnotizes you the most are those eyes. Filled with nothing but kindness, gleaming in the dim light like the stars themselves. Oh, you truly don’t deserve the way he looks at you right now, you don’t deserve to be blessed by his orbs.

“I needed so say this for a while but gosh, you look so nice (y/n)”, he suddenly blurts out.

Your wobbly feet glide around the eyes again, send you almost onto the hard surface underneath if it wasn’t for Yuji who wraps his arms around you even tighter.

Wait, is this really happening? You’re laying in his arms, smell his scent, get looked at by him. And now he just told you that you’re…nice?

“You have to be kidding”, you breathe out.

After all the things he’s been through, the horrible scenarios that must haunt him until this day, he still holds you securely in his arms while smiling down at you as if nothing ever happened. Yuji Itadori, finding you nice? You, who is nothing but a pretty normal person?

 “I would never do that”, he replies immediately, helping you back onto your weak knees.

You can’t help but sway a little back and forth, still drunk by the sound of his sugary words.

“You’re so important to me and that I never told you how beautiful you are is honestly insane. Thank you for going out with me tonight, you have no idea how much it means to me.”

“You have no idea how badly I fan-girled over this”, you mutter more to yourself.

Yes, Nobara definitely had to endure a lot since Yuji asked you out to go ice-skating with him. Well, even Megumi did…

“You did what?”, he questions.

“Oh, nothing”, you immediately reply.

“No, you just said somethi-“

“Nah, you didn’t get that right. Come on, let’s skate a little-AH“

“Watch out (y/n), you almost fell again!”

This is a part of @lees-chaotic-brain and my collab - you can find the list and the fics of my gorgeous girl here 🤍

Tags: @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @kenstarsworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix  @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @mokoartpost @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut  @mynahx3 @sad-darksoull @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0 @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @wxwieeee @lovelyluna1 @froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @gojosrealwife  @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain  @risuola  @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr @kayleegomez @belovedvamp @wifenanami @chilichopsticks @dlwlrmas-world @oikawarz@darkstarlight82 @satoreo @luwumii @tachiharazsstuff @kentocalls @cheesemachine44

Gorgeous dividers by @saradika-graphics

[colesluvr]

Hi can I request kai X male reader

Where Kai is having a bad day or something and male reader comforts him

Bad Days | Kai Smith x Male Reader

HEY ANON!! i rly hope you enjoyed this and it made sense to your req, I'm horrible with these and I am trying to get better, lol. Also I'm sorry if it seems rushed, I got many more req to get through, but I tried my best with this one :]

You were silently reading when the door burst open, a figure stormed through. That 'figure' was nobody but your boyfriend. "Kai?" You yelled after him, closing your book.

Cole entered the scene, watching Kai storm off to whereever. He noticed you moments later and smiled, "Hey, Y/N."

"Cole?"

"Hm?"

"What happened?"

The team recently came back after a mission, a unsuccessful one at that. The Mechanic robbed a jewelry store with his 'out of the ordinary' noodle truck.

Unfourtuently, he got away...and Kai blames himself. The others tried to tell him it wasn't his fault, and they'll get him next time. However, Kai was in no state for 'talking'. He pushed them all away until they reached the Monestary.

"And yeah, Kai blames himself for the Mechanic escaping with the jewels. He won't listen to us, but maybe he'll listen to you?" Cole finished explaining, now walking toward the kitchen.

"Nya?" You called and she hummed in response, entering the room. The others followed behind closely. "Have you tried talking to him? I know your his sister, so maybe he might listen to you more then us?"

Nya chuckled, "You would say that, but he's not listening to me. No matter what I say. Your his boyfriend, Y/N. We see how much he loves talking to you. He's not the one to 'open up to others' but he's really close to you."

She tapped your shoulder gently before walking away.

You thought for a moment before sighing and going back to your book. He needs to let off some steam or else he'll burn me to a crisp. You told yourself, losing your train of thought as your read the words in the book you were reading.

-

Hours passed and it was dinner, finally. Maybe you could talk to Kai then? Nope. Turns out he wasn't anywhere at the table. He's usually the first one here, or 3rd depending on his mood, but he's always here.

"Where's Kai?" You questioned, looking at the team who ate their food. "I don't know." Jay shrugged, "Probaly still mad over something that wasn't his fault, for the 50th time this month." He took another bite of food.

You bounced your leg, rubbing your arm in worry. You know Kai and when he's like this there's no telling what he might do. You saw his plate on the kitchen counter and decided to finally speak to him.

You pushed your chair back and excused yourself from dinner, taking your plate and tossing the leftover food in the trash and your plates in the sink.

The others watched silently as you took Kai's plate and left the room.

-

"Kai?" You called his name out softly, knocking on his door with your knuckle ever so softly. "Kai, It's me." Knowing that will do little, you still thought he should know it's only you.

"Come on, you have to eat, babe." You spoke softly, waiting for a response.

Nothing.

Not even a groan, or a complaint.

You sighed. Grabbing the door handle and twisting it, slowly opening the door. When you opened the door and when you entered it was pitch black.

It was also really, really cold. you looked around the room.He didn't seem to throw a fit in here, actually it seemed kinda clean. Not what I was expecting. You told yourself, but you shook that thought out of your head. If Kai wasn't here, where did he go?

You entered the room slowly, placing the plate on a dresser beside he's bed. Your eyes scanned the room until your eyes locked on the open window.

You peeked your head out of the window to see Kai out in the courtyard. He was beating a punching bag like it owed him over due money.

You could tell he was overusing his power, his hands were burning a bright fire. He was sweating from head to toe. You quickly made your way outside to the courtyard. The moonlight mixed with Kai's fire light, along with the inside of the Monestary was the only thing lighting up the place.

"Kai?"

"What?" He grumbled.

You said nothing. Unsure what to say. You fiddled your fingers, figuring out what to say.

"Uhm. I know...your not feeling great. I just wanted to say-"

"I'm fine." He glared. His voice was husky and it sounded like he hadn't drink water for days.

"Kai. I'm worried about you."

"What's there to worry about, I'm fine."

You glared at him, grabbing his bicep and forced him to look at you. As you did, he's hand was on fire but you were to blind to notice. When you spun him around, he almost slammed his hand to your cheek but he stopped himself.

You both toppled over, landing on the ground.

"Fuck, Y/N!" He growled, getting up as you stood to your feet. "I could have burned you, are you stupid?!" He got close to your face, pinning to the wall surrounding the Monestary.

"Kai-Calm down."

"YOU CALM DOWN!" He growled, pulling away from you and you noticed his ears turn red.

"I know you think what hapepned today was your fault, but it wasn't! what's it got to take to make you beileve that?" You spoke quietly, not wanting to piss him off more then he already is.

"How about him not getting away in the palm of my hand! I couldn't get to him in time, I could've done something to stop him or-or slowed him down so I can-"

He paused, pinching the bridge of his nose.

It was quiet for moment.

You pulled yourself away from the wall, circling around him to face him. "What if...there wasn't more 'I'?" You suggested. Kai slowly managed to pull his head up and look at you, "What?"

"We're a team for a reason, Kai. Me, you, Lloyd, Cole, all of us. There was an 'I' we do things together. It wasn't you who let the Mechanic get away. You all tried your hardest and you'll get him next time."

"But..." Kai pants, "But I was the closest to stopping him. It's my fault he got away-"

"It's nobody's fault, Kai." You laughed, placing a hand on his shoulder. You saw he's eyes start to water and his lips teembles, but it was like he refused to cry.

"It's okay." You mouthed and he gently smashed his face into the crook of shoulder and you felt his body shake as he took a deep breath in and out.

You hugged him tight, not letting go until he stopped crying or felt the need to let go.

[pretend-i-do-not-exist]

♡ It's the truth ♡

Rise!Leo x Fem!Reader

☆Reader feels quite self-conscious about herself often but luckily Leo knows what she needs to hear☆

She was always going to have this "issue" around what was considered normal. What was even more of an issue though was that her methods of dealing with the pressure caused was detrimental. It became a pattern, which is why the signs of her mind's failure, as it were, were easily recognisable to those who took note. The same applied to him. He knew. More importantly, he knew what to do to help. It wasn't always an easy fix but no matter what he did, how he helped- it always led back to one thing. The one thing that always seemed to make her heart flutter when her ears fell on his words.

"Don't worry about it princess, you're doing great"

He knew that she were far from believing him but it was the little steps he took along the way to enforce her confidence that he really focused on. Whereever he could, he'd make sure she knew what he thought of her. He'd kiss the back of her hand, whisper sweet nothings into her ear during cuddles, anything to see that smile creep up on to her face inch by inch. He just couldn't see her without it. When he took note of her more closed off behaviour from time to time, he'd gently lean closer to press butterfly kisses all over her face. He loved they way her face scrunched up as she tried to escape his merciless attack but to no avail. At the end of the day, he loved her with all his heart and he'd swell with pride knowing he made her feel precious. To him it wasn't just a feeling though, he knew you were precious. It's the truth after all.

Haha self indulgent thoughts go brr

I hope you people like it and I'm thinking about taking requests and stuff too so I get more writing practice. So, if any enjoyed reading this and would like to see more please lmk, thank you <3

[angel-z]

Please could I request a Tommy Shelby fic where he’s having a hard time accepting that his daughter is turning 18 and growing up please?

My apologies for the late reply, anon. I've been in writing slump for a while, but I hope you are able to enjoy this.

Absolutely Not - Thomas Shelby and Ruby

One of Thomas's men let him know that his daughter had showed up at The Garrison and he quickly made his way over there. She hadn't shown up at home earlier and he imagined the worst. He nearly burst into the door, followed by John, Arthur and Lizzie. He saw Ruby sitting at the bar with an empty glass in her hand. It took all the strength he could muster to not run and hug her but he still wanted to keep appearances.

"You weren't at home, Ruby. Would you like to tell me why that is?"

"I wanted to get something nice for my birthday, so I bought a few things and just decided to hang out here."

He let out a sigh and rubbed his face. He motioned for the bartender to take away her glass and to fill one for him. Ruby looked at him, annoyed, and just shook her head.

"You can't keep treating me like a child. I can take care of myself."

"You are still a child. My child."

"Father, I'm 18 now."

His hand stopped right at his lips. 'That can't be true', he thought. He knew for a fact that she was at least 16 now.

"No, you're not," he said, downing his drink. "Isn't that right, brother?"

Arthur pondered for a moment and cleared his throat, nervously. "Of course not. The young ones don't grow that fast." He rubbed the back of his neck.

Lizzie shook her head. "Don't tell me you really forgot how old your own daughter is."

Thomas looked at Ruby and she gave him a knowing look. He looked away and took another swig of whisky, right after his glass was refilled.

"Either way, you're still under the protection of the Peaky Blinders and that will never change and I'm still your father. You come to me for things and we'll have them dealt with. Now, let's go back home. Your brother made you a few presents."

He made his way to the door, assuming Ruby was right behind him when he heard her voice, still at the bar.

"I've met somebody. He's a sweet guy."

"Do we know him," John asked.

"No... but it's alright. We can trust him. I trust him."

Thomas still stood facing the door. Everyone felt the tension start to rise in the room. Arthur starting shifting his feet and Lizzie straightened the collar of her dress. Thomas let out a sigh and looked back at his daughter.

"If you say that you trust him... I trust your judgement, but I still have to talk to him. It'll be a civil talk. But if he ever hurts you.."

"He won't. I know it."

She got off the stool and went over to Thomas to give him a warm hug. He hugged her back and couldn't help but show a little smile.

"Are we going to head back to the house now? Because I am starving," John exclaimed.

"Yeah. I'm kinda hungry too, brother."

The two of them laughed and walked out of the door. Lizzie rolled her eyes and followed after them. Ruby ran to beat them to the carriage, leaving Thomas to watch them go.

'They really do grow up so fast."

Author's note: I know it's not my best work, but I do hope you enjoy this. My mind has been kicking my butt lately ;-; I do intend to do my best to make a better habit of writing more, so I'll try to pop in here more often. I hope you all have a lovely day/afternooon/evening whereever you are in the world. Do not forget that you are loved and cherished ^^

[awearywritersworld]

hi mona hi hii!!!! i just wanted to thank you for your tags on my little roomie!gojo drabble<33333 HE'S SO SMUG AND ANNOYING AND OH SO TOUCH STARVED AAAAAAA i hate him i love him. and i love you too thank you thank you for loving my work hehehe i hope you're doing so so so good i hope the sun is shining whereever you are!! i love u

- @softgirlgonehaywire

hi mickey!! hi mickey!!! you and your powers of goodwill have summoned the sun to my backyard!!!

i hope the sun is wherever you are too and that you had a splendid day :) eeep thank u for putting ur work out into the world!!!! it made me smile!!! it made me giggle!!! loveeee uuuuuuu<3

[doomsayings]

Hi hi i sent you an ask a couple months ago about becoming a flight attendant. I’m really considering it now but i have no idea where to start. Do you have any other tips or recommendations? Anything at all would be so helpful thank you again 🖤

good to hear from you!!!! okay this is super general but hopefully it gives you an idea on where to start????

email subscribe to job listings at all the airlines you want to work for! most airlines open up the flight attendant listing for a small period of time before closing it again, since they get so many applications...you can usually do this through their websites so youll know right away when they open

application process for most airlines is online app/assesment -> virtual interview -> in-person interview. when you submit your resume, make sure you keyword match with words used in the job listing. its all computerized! if you want to make it to the next round, make sure the computer can recognize that your resume has relevant experience (most airlines want customer service/safety related experience)

for the in-person interview: its usually a group interview and a one-on-one. what i noticed is they do prefer very friendly and bubbly people, but you dont need to be biggest personality in the room (Actually i think a lot of the interviewers didnt like that, in my experience). just smile a lot and look very professional and put together!! dress standards are pretty strict across all airlines.

if you cant get an interview a mainline airline, a lot of people start at regional airlines and then move to mainline. the thing that sucks about regional is that the pay is worse, you fly to less locations, but there are some pros, reserve tends to be less chaotic, and its easier to gain seniority. it may be worth it to get a foot in the door

you MAY need to relocate for this job. research the bases for each airline, and see if they are cities you are willing to live in. while most airlines allow you to have preferences or eventually transfer….theres no guarantee you'll be placed where you want straight out of training. i didnt get my first choice of city right away. i would highly suggest you start saving money right now because you may end up needing it whereever you go!!! some flight attendants commute/fly to their base city but…i dont really reccomend it, especially if you are on reserve. it makes your life a lot more stressful and can be like a second job

knowing a second language helps! some airlines have language specific job listings BUT - it may limit where you can work. for example if you are a hindi speaker, and the airline only flies to india out of JFK, you WILL be based out of JFK.

i hope this helps a little bit!!!! i wish you nothing but the best on your journey!!!!! lemme know if you have specific questions i know its a crazy complicated process lol

[stillrichsgirl]

Oh my goodness.

Literally just heard our song on the radio. Our song from 2015.

That never plays, never ever.

But there it was. Let's Marvin Gaye and get it on lol.

Made me smile and think of you my love.

I hope you are ok, somewhere, whereever.

My divorce is almost final. It's mad but there it is, almost finalised. Thankfully, he and I are parting as friends and although it's sad and painful, it's not angry.

I still love you Rich. I always will.

I hope you will come and find me one day.

[isabellecelestine]

My home

My Home:

Your good morning is my sunshine,

Gives me hope to live again.

When you say take care,

I feel secured whereever I go.

When you say Where are you?,

I run to you,and I will be on your side.

Then when I saw your smile,

every longing lost.

the touch of your hands, telling me Iam not alone.

Your hugs makes me sleep comfortalbly

With your kisses,

I felt how grateful are you to have me .

Your playfulness that makes me happy.

Your voice its like a music I want to hear

Every day.

These helps me to heal the scar from the past.

To be with you is my rest

My warm home, that I want to be forever.

Your words are my wisdom that makes me strong.

My strenght to live in this tiring world

I find someone that I am willing to be hurt again

Just to be in your side.

You already left something in my heart that I don't want to let you go.

You are Like a seed,

That keep growing in my heart,

And everyday I take care of you

So that you will always live too.

[magnoliamyrrh]

both apocalypse-like dreams, i guess

in the first dream, i dont remember exactly the beggining. but the world was going to hell. the capitalist machine just kept going and going. i was at the end of my wits, still better off than many, but in desperation and hopelessness wondering this progressively more fucked world. nothing to do, nowhere to go

i remember coming across an old homeless man, though i suppose we were both homeless, old with long gray hair and a long gray beared, in a bad state. we were on a beach - except you could see no sand. everywhere was plastic and trash, everywhere, it was the entire ground. there were mounds, hills, dunes made entirely out of trash and plastic, whereever you looked. the sea herself seemed to be somewhat poisoned, a strange blue-green colour, as commercial ships still sailed on it, and the fumes of some sort of factories being seen in the distance. the sky itself, unnatural. i remember stopping to talk to the old man, i cant remember what we spoke of, but i can remember as we kept talking, we found it in ourselves to laugh for the first time in a long time, to not feel hope but something reminiscent of some level of happiness. of the doom lifting, for just a second. i remember he was a very smart man, very wise, who had read all of the worlds literature and knew much about everything... i remember, with this newfound moment of solace and feeling less alone, we started gathering the coloured trash on the beach. he turned it into marker ink, or paint ink, or some sort of ink. somehow, i had a sketchbook to give him, and he opened it, and on each of its pages he used the ink to draw beautiful, beautiful things. faces, people, scenes of time past, all so colorful and so hopeful, in comparison to the world of trash we were living in. i remember him looking up from his works, and smiling, of other people gathering around from the nightmare, to see just a small moment of beauty... i guess even at the end of the world, someone will still be making beautiful things

[straightjacket111]

thats the end of me. nothing matters to me anymore. no one matters anymore . ive lost myself fully . the one i love the most where i thought she wud understand what im going thru eversince. where i did everything i cud back then js for u to be happy. but not with myself. im tired. tired of this feeling where i feel locked where i cant talk to anyone about it anymore. i guess life is a piece of shit to me. i question alot of i ever did try my best alot . i abuse myself alot. and she doesnt know about it. and no one knows about it. all i ever needed was a lil help. i guess that doesnt matter anymore. i dont matter anymore. this the last time i'll be saying stuff here. i lover her alot. with all my heart where i disrecpect myself for her where i did everything for her . idw to do that anymore because i couldnt see myself being happy. love is fucking shit where i will mever fall in love again. my heart is walled up where no one can ever enter it to know my true feelings. dats why it was so hard for me to open up. because i hate cry. i hate feelings. i hate love. i really love her. she was the one for me. im always happy with her but mvr myself. theres so much memories tgt with her. i will never forget about. where i will left everything back in the box . to never throw it away because how much i love her alot. how much i love us. my love was gone untill shit happens. untill i start to realised. until im awake. where why do i feel locked up. why can she do that why i cant still. so many shit.

she will always be my first love and my last to love. i will mever be here anymore by then. so for u nina. my baby. my 1st love. my nugget. my princess. my fairy. my half. my live. my ikigai. my soul. i will always love you no matter what. be it how i am now amd how u are now. im drained out . all of it is gone. but our memories will never fade away from me. i remember the times where the first time i met u. i miss that beauitfuk smile of u . the charming wide smile where i wanna kiss ur face all over. ny heart was pounding fast the first time i saw u. i was glad i did wait where i wanted to cry in public but hold it in. and we went to yishun dam right after dat. u know thats the best day of my life right. where u talk to me alot. about ur life and shit. i love that day. where we know we love each other. where ure still with someone else . where i love you but i cant at that point of time. i miss dat . and u know where im always smilling . i miss that . i miss me. i miss how i was . i really miss him but his gone and im sorry. im sorry im always hurting u. im always sorry for all the piece of shit i did to u. im gonna miss you alot when im gone. and i never felt anything like that before with anyone. only u. it was a special thing for the both of us. but it came to an end for the both of us and im sorry. i love you okay. i will always will. be safe whereever u are . u will always be my number one. and im gonna miss you. please eat alot. dont depend on the pills so much. dont hurt urself . be safe wherever u are and watch the road . i cant hold ur hand anymore but i wil be by ur side . always even when im gone. thank you for everything and i appreciate and cherish everything that we've did . goodbye. goodnight. goodmorning. rest well. sweet dreams. talk to me when ure having nightmares. i love you alot. goodnight.

to my close friends u know who u are. thank you for everything u guys been the best for me. im glad that we've never seperate our way and always be there for each other. i love you guys . im sorry burdening u guys with everything that i did. u guys matter to me too. but i will stop all of this burdening for u guys. i hope yall will be happy and find happiness like how we always do. and matin. glad ure happy with ur new girl. finally seeing smilling amd gigling amd shit . gay ass nigger. be safe man whereever u are . u mean alot to me too remember to not get hurt again man like what i said. i love all of u. every each of u mean to me.

and to my family. im sorry that i have to go. u guys mean alot to me and idw burden anything anymore where i want to see everyone being happy. where i cant find my happiness anymore. nina was the one whos always making me happy but not myself and u guys see that. i love her alot. so please . if u guys cud. talk to her and everything she means alot to me. and i will stop all of this burdening where coming home late. making my parents mad. cried . and evrrything else. i'll stop this because i really love you guys and i wanna see evrryone happy, i will slways love everyone no matter what.

and to myself. uve died. u may rest in peace now. when everything is tiring . life is tiring . u may rest now. ure always a happy go lucky guy. but look at u now. uve died . burdeing evrryone . breaking ppls heart. hurt them. everything else. u may rest in peace now.

monday,

13/2/2023

3:33pm.

[kit-o-nine-tales]

If you change your mind, I’m here

Fandom: Resident Evil

Pairing: GN!Reader/Leon Scott Kennedy

Summary: Reader muses on the last time they saw Leon - the day they broke up with him.

Read on AO3

  I always think of you when it rains. Are you keeping warm, whereever you are? Do the old breaks still ache?

Stupid question, of course they do. But I wish, for your sake, that they didn't.

"How many times can a body be broken to pieces and put together again?"

I'd asked you that once, and you just laughed.

"I don't know, but I'm on track to find out," you replied.

You said it so easily, too. Like you weren't scared. Like you didn't have nightmares every night about all the things you'd seen.

Maybe it's not raining where you are. Maybe you're not in our state today. Maybe not even our country. Maybe you're out in Spain, or Russia, or China. Out fighting the newest horror to spring up from Umbrella's legacy.

I hope not, for your sake.

"I'm getting too old for this," you used to joke, years ago, back when you were just getting started. Back when the government wasn't giving you a choice.

Do you have a choice now, I wonder? She's old enough to fend for herself now, isn't she? And you are getting older. How much longer do they mean to puppet your strings? Will they use you until there's nothing left? Until you're too broken to put back together again?

Stupid question. When have the people in power ever let someone retire while they still have life in them?

We parted on a day like this. Rainy, with a cloying humidity that made every touch feel tacky and unpleasantly sticky.

We met for coffee. One of your rare days off that lined up with one of mine. I knew, going in, how our conversation would end. The answer you would give the question I planned to ask. But even so, I asked anyway. Even so, I held on to hope, as small a hope as it was.

If you sensed something was off, you gave no sign of it. You met me with a tired but true smile, my favorite already in your hand, sitting at our usual table. It almost made me change my mind. How could I even consider —

But then I noticed the mostly-faded bruises on your wrists, and the way you winced as you shifted a little too far to the left, and my resolve revived.

I gave you a smile, or at least, I tried to. Your return expression made me wonder how successful I was. Not very, I would guess. I took the drink you held out to me, and stared down at it as I took that first sip. Did my hands shake? Did you see it if they did?

Stupid question. Of course you did. You always had a way for noticing things like that.

"Some rain," you said. Your long bangs (impractical, but so endearing) were practically pasted to your forehead.

It managed to get a chuckle out of me. "Bit of an understatement," I replied. I dug through my backpack, and handed you a dry towel.

You smiled fondly at me as you took it. "Over-prepared as always."

"One of us should be," I replied teasingly.

A familiar exchange. One I miss more than I thought I would. It was a bit of a joke. In most cases, you were far more prepared for disaster than I was. But in the small things, I had you beat.

I watched as you patted your hair dry, leaving it messier than it started, sticking up at odd angles, melting my heart. You looked younger like that. Less jaded by the world.

When you were done, you looked at the towel for a moment, as if unsure whether to hand it back or hold on to it. You met my eyes, and then, nodding to yourself, handed it back.

"Say it," you said. Your face was neutral, but your eyes were sad. You knew. We both did. But neither of us could change a thing.

I swallowed. "I.... Would you quit? Retire?" I'd had a speech. Arguments and evidence, all eloquently arranged. But looking at you, I lost it all. You always did have a way of making me speechless.

You exhaled slowly, closing your eyes.

We'd talked around this before. I'd worried about you. The injuries, the close-calls. Spain had been a bad one. Almost an argument. You'd nearly lost yourself to the monsters you fought. But I always let the subject drop. Because I knew that what you were doing was important. That no one else could do it. That it needed to be done. But... it had been years. There were others now. Others who hadn't been so hurt. Others who didn't wake in cold sweat every night, who didn't drink themselves to sleep in the first place.

It didn't have to be you anymore. You could pass the torch, surely. Take time to heal, to rest.

But I knew, even before I asked, what your answer would be. Your heart, despite everything, was too good.

Sometimes I think maybe it's more than that. Sometimes I think —  maybe —  you just don't know any other way to live any more. That if you tried to settle into one place, to drift into the average everyday of groceries and appointments and tv... you wouldn't know what to do with yourself. Whatever hobbies you'd once had, whatever aspirations, wishes, or daydreams —  had all been lost. Eroded by years of fight-run-survive that left no room for such things. All you knew were monsters, terror, and blood.

And me.

At least, so I'd flattered myself sometimes, back then. I'd hoped that maybe I could be enough. That I could be there for you through it, if you would just lay your burdens down. If you would just let me.

But even still, I knew. And so did you.

You opened your eyes, sad, steely blue. And you shook your head.

I bit my lower lip, and stared back down the straw of my drink. I wasn't going to cry. Not because of pride. But because I didn't want to hurt you any more than I had to. I took another sip, swallowed, and then a deep breath.

"I love you," I said firmly. "But I can't watch this destroy you any more."

You winced again, your brows drawn together in pain. And slowly, you nodded.

"I understand," you said. You took a deep pull of your own drink.

I wondered if you had spiked it before I arrived. I felt certain you had.You never shared your drinks with me. You'd joke that it was because you might be contagious, but I knew. It was the alcohol.

"I'm sorry," I said. My heart clenched in my chest at the thought of never seeing you again. But I had to. Stars help me, I had to.

Maybe it would change things. maybe you'd change your mind with time, and someday I'd find you, standing at my doorstep, sober and free.

It hasn't happened yet.

"Don't be," you said, your voice thick. "I understand," you repeated.

"If... If you ever..." I tried. My own voice swimming with the tears I wouldn't shed. At least, not in front of you.

"Yeah," you murmured. "I know." You met my eyes again, then, and forced a smile. "If you ever need me... you know my number."

I laughed. A wet, sad thing. "I know." I said.

If the zombies ever found their way to my door, or stars know what else, you were the one to call. If I survived long enough to make the call. I didn't rate my chances very high. You'd always believed that I'd surprise myself, if the time came. Said that I had all the right instincts.

I rose from my chair, and walked over to you. I pressed a kiss to your cheek. "Stay safe. Please."

Stars,I miss the warmth of you. I can still remember the texture of your cheek beneath my lips, though time does its level best to steal that from me.

You swallowed. "I'll do my best," you replied.

"You always do," I said. It just wasn't enough.

"Take care of yourself," you told me.

I sniffed. The tears would come as soon as I left the shop. "I'll try," I said. I was never very good at that. Over prepared backpack aside.

We were both disasters in our own ways. But the gaps in me had lined up well with the gaps in you, and together we'd managed to muddle into something solid. But not solid enough to withstand the way you were coming apart at the seams.

I left the shop.

I haven't seen you since. Haven't heard your voice. Not even on the phone. I’ve heard about you a few times. Though not as much as I'd like. Claire doesn't hear from you often either, even if she does hear more than I do.

But I think of you all the time. On rainy days like today. On days when the clouds make the world feel like an impermanent dream. And I wonder: how much more can a person withstand? How long until the news I hear sends me to my knees in grief? Or will I never even hear about it? Maybe you'll meet your end in some far-off continent, alone, and in secret. Would they tell me? Would they tell Claire, or her brother, or any of the other people you know? The people who care for you? Stars, I hope they tell us. But most of all, I hope you won't meet your end alone like that.

I hope, despite everything, that one day I'll find you outside my door. Older and worn, with new aches and scars, but alive and wiser. Alive and free.

I would open my door for you, no matter how long it takes. And I would raise my eyes to yours, and there you would find all the adoration that had ever been there, as though not a day had gone by since we parted.

That, at least, I can promise.