#When they found out Conner likes music they said fuck it

[justwannabecat]

DP x DC prompt:

After Superman’s initial rejection of his very existence, Connor runs away, hoping to find someone, somewhere, that’s willing to help him despite what he is.

Several months later, a popular band is going on tour. They came out of nowhere, yet immediately became a fan favorite despite the fact that they consisted solely of teenagers.

They call themselves “The King And The Clones”.

[waterparksdrama]

ok track by track review of Intellectual Property. GO!

as you wish anon. be warned this is literally like one of maybe 4 times i've listened to this album in full again

st*rfucker - a bit too saccharine on first listen but it has better replay value as time goes on. the beginning of the shoehorned jesus lyrics and the continuation of limo imagery to represent fame which is actually fitting admittedly bc just like a limo that is supposed to represent glamour and celebrity living, they are just as widespread and accessible as him and aren't really that glamorous at all. also this is me saying again wow he complains a lot about fame for someone who isn't really that famous. i still hate the cutoff at the end bc. cmon man. 7/10

real super dark - ok i did like the gilbert gottfried inspired melody i think that's fun actually. the song lyrics? uhhhhhh. just more complaining. if you have listened to any of the albums since fandom you are not missing much there other than the otto serial killer jokes he has inserted here? which is a choice i guess. instrumental is great tho. i feel incredibly stupid listening to a lot of the other parts of the song tho. 7/10

funeral grey - god i can't bear listening to this one on my own i'm sorry. live it's fine, but the studio recording i would rather kill myself than listen to again. IT'S SO ANNOYING. the terrible overenunciated vocals. awsten's attempt at humor by writing these wattpad fic lyrics that make me cringe to my core because i know there's a part of him being genuine. the one direction ripoff hook because he managed to get one of 1d's actual songwriters to help write the track. the only saving grace is the ending but at that point it's too late for any redemption. 2/10

brainwashed - ironically this was written with the 1d guy again and. i'm actually fine with this one LOL. it's simple and lowkey so it's considerably less annoying than funeral grey. considering awsten said the lyrics on this album were hypersexual, but it's 2023 so this is fairly tame, it just makes me wonder how much he has repressed in his psyche. 6/10

2 best friends - ok now we're back to simple annoying. if you tune out the lyrics enough, it sounds like disney channel filler music. but it's actually about ~~sExxxx~~ hahahahaha everything about this album so far is like reading fanfics clearly written by middle schoolers. awsten's sad about his situationship so he goes out with his 2 best friends to forget but it doesn't work :( but he could just fuck his friends bc it wouldn't hurt to try at this point. hey what if this was what the song was actually about that because in travis' insane songfic he made jawn and awsten hook up during this chapter #neverforget #riptravisficeventhoughmebitchingontumblrmadehimkillit 4/10

end of the water (feel) - hearing awsten try to hit those high notes reminded me of people saying brendon straining on his high notes on the last panic tour was like hearing a dog that needed to be shot out back for its own good. this is very obviously a charlie puth ripoff to the t because not only does he hit high notes that no man should ever reach, but i'm pretty sure the verse instrumentals rip off "light switch" by charlie. anyways more of "ughhhhh i'm not getting a text backkkkkk" that makes me want to throw awsten's phone into the pacific. i still don't know why kurtis conner is here and how this is supposed to relate to any of this at all. also actually now that i'm crossing checking the genius pages for these, the descriptions for these songs make them sound much better than they actually are lol. 3/10

self-sabotage - this one is mid on it's own but funny because i remember the amount of twitter discourse this song has spawned. "awsten's being toxic and misogynistic" did we not listen to some of the songs off fandom "awsten has bpd" what if he just sucks sometimes. the memories of this are more memorable than the song itself. 5/10

ritual - remember when i found out the soundbyte at the beginning was from an aids psa. good times. fine song other than the shoehorned soundbyte. the entire song is just a repetition of the verses and chorus like a ~~ritual~~ spooky! i like the flair vincente void adds with his screams i feel like this feature makes more sense because it's a song about protecting yourself from the doctrines of religion that harmed you when you were growing up and apparently vincente has known awsten since he was 13???? only thing i hate is the corpse ripoff ending so much so that i have a personal version where i edited that out. 8/10

fuck about it - BORINGGGGGG OH MY GODD. if you've heard one blackbear feature, congrats you've heard them all because they all sound the same and blackbear adds no energy whatsoever. he made a bayside instrumental sound boring you really can't underestimate him. anyways back to the song itself; the situationship has dissolved into pure sex and disinterest and annoyance outside of that and with the way awsten sounds like he plans having hate sex, i don't think he's ever had hate sex before. there's the ending synth i think is fun and that's the only reason this gets a point at all. 1/10

closer - it's a sweet song but um. haven't we heard this in a way before? *cough cough 21 questions* i think this is the closest (lol) parx comes to at a return to pre-fandom form, but when i listen to the chords too much i'm just like "did he lowkey rip off that one smashing pumpkins song". anyways it's just about needing to be closer to someone or ending the relationship completely. simple but effective but not nearly as effective as 21 questions for me sorry. 7/10

a night out on earth - ok i had physical tickets to the last tour bc i won them on idobi so i was like "THIS SONG BETTER BE AT LEAST DECENT BC I STILL HANG UP THE TICKET WITH THIS NAME" and it was at the least. it's like. a good waterparks song, but i feel like i've heard it already? my mind goes back to see you in the future but for these i can't tell who's ripping off who more lol. yeah i feel like other than some interesting production here and there it's a rehash of shit we already heard before. shoehorned religious lyric. fake ass band guys. "i turn my agony into songs and people only like when i'm hurt". "i've been dead since 2016" (part two). "i'm evil now. idgaf. wat ever."

and then i think the part that makes me go awwww but also confuses me is the im a natural blue radio interview snippet? like why does this all tie in together now. geoff's not even here bro how is this the only release where otto's the only one namedropped when awsten hasn't even named dropped him until last album. 80% the album is about some random relationship how is this supposed to tie into all of these.

idk i feel like i've just had this on my mind when when of my mutuals made their own analysis on awsten's mindsets towards life and said how he uses fear as motivation but his perfectionism keeps him from using failure as an editor and how this song was the peak example of this; the rehash of the same ideas over and over because despite his stubbornness, despite "ultimately -not- giving in to the perception that you’re worth ‘Demonizing'", he never confronts the problem for real, just compartmentalizes the problem away and doesn't truly overcome the root of his problems. that's what i feel like manifests in this album for me to be put off by it at its core. nothing ever changes, he just finds a new situation to complain at. maybe that's also why his fans never change even as new ones come though. maybe that's why we also stay stagnant in this with him.

again i get it, he's a public figure; if he did dive too deep into this and didn't choose to generalize the lyrics for his own sake, he would probably end up incriminating himself way too much and have a hard time performing some of these songs. but i can't help but wonder. if he's truly getting over a mental obstacle like that, or keeps himself so set on the future that he ignores the problems he never solved. like he always does. like he always seems to be doomed to. anyways, 7/10 song.

all in all, it's an album that tries to reach a concept of coming to terms with your sexuality and religious trauma all entwined in fame but in reality it's mostly just about a sucky situationship and awsten complaining again while putting in random religious references sometimes and the beginning and ending are about fame. my hot takes are: tennis imagery = gay sex, there's not enough of a distinction between "soulsucker" and awsten to make "album lore" when the overarching concept of parx's discography is "awsten's life sucks", and darth vader is luke's father. - iz

[honeyedheartss]

making a separate post for this so I don't hijack a gifmakers post but

@burntstay u literally have no idea! the entire past 2 years have been insane so excuse my rambling post

1. I went to see Dan last Nov and Dec. I went in November when he came to Seattle and got SO excited to finally meet him after so many years that I stumbled all over the MnG and couldn't respond to his very gentle kind compliments. So I flew to Oakland to see him again 😭 It hurt my bank account but not only did I meet him at that show during the MnG but he talked to me during the show too (interactive comedy show and I said I'd fuck the cinnamon toast crunch mascot bc he's a twink. he booed me but then brought it up several more time 💀)

November and December, respectively. (yeah he did accidentally get that fucking silver marker on my arm 💀)

2. Also in November, I had the opportunity to catch Kurtis Conners set he was doing in Seattle :] I went to the early show in the balcony bc it was what i could afford and Loved it sooo much but couldn't see bc I didn't have glasses at the time and at the end when I was calling my friend to talk about it, someone offered me 3rd row tickets because they had to cancel for a family emergency. I took them, could see the set, and it was just as funny the 2nd time!

the next day I'd taken my friend to Pikes Place (popular indoor/outdoor multi-vendor permanent market in Seattle) and ran into him and Jenna in the comics store!

^ me being so insanely happy but embarrassed bc I was partially non verbal and was trying so hard to communicate with him. (he was so incredibly kind and patient and then I helped him find the script he was looking for 😌 <- I do not work at that store)

now rapid fire! I also got to finally see Cirque! my old boss at the club had an extra ticket and brought me along!! (I have tried to sew Cirque THREE times and circumstances have always gotten in the way. mostly me moving abruptly like a week before the date they were in town)

In April, I got to see Hippocampus (one of my FAVE indie bands idc idc) and the guitarist Nathan gave me a pick! I also got to see Conan Gray again (saw him in 2019 without knowing who he was and got obsessed) and Cavetowns show with Tessa Violet. and Tessa RECOGNIZED ME which would have been insane anyways but I look SO different from the past times I've seen her!! I also saw some smaller bands and they were some of the most lovely kind caring people ever!

and then in June I saw 5SOS for the first time. I've been listening to them since I was a little tumblrina in 2014 and I cried so hard during their show. pure unadulterated nostalgia and joy. it was a really good show too (and that month my BFF who I usually go out to Philly to see once a year was able to come to ME because of a work conference 🥹 and my partner came up for our yearly 1 month together!)

also that month I met a comedian I ADORE!!! I found him by accident on Dry Bar Comedy in maybe 2015? and have watched his stuff on YouTube and followed him on Twitter since and I randomly ran into him in a vintage store in Tacoma??? And of course the first thing my dumb ass said instead of "oh wow it's Shayne Smith!! I'm a huge fan" no... I said "YO it's the guy I showed u that one time when I was drunk!!!" to my sister 😭😭 He luckily is a really dope guy, thought it was very funny, and danced around with me

In October I went to a music festival out east and saw a BUNCH of my favorite bands and King Princess said I looked hot, so highlight of my compliments fr (and saw mitski!) Lorde was coming but her set got massively delayed due to faulty tech and I had to make the last train so I didn't get stranded and did not get to see her.

Also I got matching tattoos with my other bff who I flew to seattle to stay with me for a week 🥹 hi @catholicdaredevil

which circles us back to the November/December stuff I talked about first cuz I got excited

The rest of the winter was just struggling through till I saw the sun again but I DID get to meet a long term internet friend at the convention in Seattle (s/o to @pjsforestkid for so lovingly dealing with my low energy the whole day)

April I saw Noel Miller live!!! June my partner came up and we traipsed around

and then September and October I got to sew 4 hozier shows, was barricade for 3 of them (and have professional photos for all 3 times I was barricade which is INSANE!!!!!), hozier called me out on stage for my shirt, I got posted on his ig, and I met almost the entirety of a friend group I've had since 2019 AND DanandPhilGames returned from the hiatus

it's been an insane almost 2 years I finally feel like my life is sorting itself out and I'm so overjoyed

this is such a long fucking post but your tags just reminded me of all the joy and love I have been experiencing and the love that continues!!! I am so happy :)

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.  ҉   next.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 

looking hot, her message read. 

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[alovesongshewrote]

Oops, I Did It Again | Connor DBH

Plot:  Sometimes you get bored.  Sometimes you get crepes.  Sometimes you get tackled by a St. Bernard [Connor DBH x Gender Neutral!Reader]

Word Count:  1,508

Warnings:  dog

A/n:  this is a direct sequel to this, and like most other sequels, it’s worse, lol.  though, you do get to hang out with sumo in this one, so

Tags: @deviatedwinter​

masterlist​

There are certain situations in which charges get dropped.  I can’t be bothered to list them, but trust me when I say an android revolution is one of them.

So, after like, a week on the run, you were free to go.  No breaking and entering charge, no theft charge, no nothing.  Just the memories of adrenaline in your veins, soft lips on yours and the joys of screwing over your employers.  

After you’d obtained your freedom, you stayed in Detroit.  It wasn’t like you had anywhere else to be or anything else to do.  In truth, you were kind of bored.  Believe it or not, there was not much to do in a rebuilding city except for supporting small businesses.  So you did.  Every Saturday was crepe day, that’s just how it was.  Or at least, that’s how it was supposed to be.

One particular Saturday, you were halfway to the creperie.  Your headphones were plugged in, your music was blasting, and you completely neglected to notice the very large St. Bernard headed your way.  You had no choice but to take note, however, when the dog jumped on you, knocking you right to the ground.  Another person may have been upset by this, but not you.  You like dogs because you are a normal and good human being overall, so getting knocked over by a lovely pup such as this one kind of made your day.

“Hey there buddy!  How are you?  I am well,” you said, allowing the large beast to sniff you.  Once the dog decided that you were worthy™, it rolled onto its back, allowing you to do the honour of petting it.  You rolled with it, deciding to pet the heck out of this random dog.

“Awww, you’re such a good dog!!  You are baby :),” you cooed, as the dog stuck his tongue out, very clearly enjoying himself.

Connor, the android sent by Hank, was not feeling the same way.  Post-revolution, the deviant detective had moved in with his partner in solving crimes, and so had been sent to walk the lovely jewel of the household, Sumo.  Usually, an activity such as this brought Connor joy, but somehow, the St. Bernard had escaped from his leash and run off through the streets of Detroit. 

Connor was, obviously, not okay with this.  He was in, as the kids call it, deep shit.  Maybe, with a human dog-walker, losing a dog of Sumo’s size might be a little more understandable.  A dog like that could easily send a toddler, or some other unsuspecting person flying through the air.  Big dogs tend to be pretty strong, and Sumo was, in fact, a big strong dog.  Connor was not some other unsuspecting person though.  He wasn’t a toddler either.  He was an android, a deviant android made of literal fucking metal.  So, how did Sumo escape his grasp?

Plot contrivances.

But that wasn’t exactly an answer Hank would accept, so when Sumo fled Connor gave chase.  You would think he’d be good at that considering his background as a detective.  He’d chased several people and androids through the streets of Detroit, his thirium pump beating out of his chest,  racing, surging forward as a familiar thrill raced through him.  He’d run through this city, forward and back, too many times to count, feet hitting the ground in time with each simulated breath.  

So, chasing a dog should be nothing, right?  Ha, no.  Out of all the things Connor had ever chased in his life, a slip of paper lost in the wind, an umbrella during a storm, deviants, criminals and the like, Sumo proved to be the most difficult creature Conner ever had the pleasure of chasing down.  When he found the dog, though, Connor found the other most difficult creature he’d ever dealt with in his android life.

“Awww, you’re such a good dog!!  You are baby :)”  

“How did you say that out loud?”

You stopped petting the St. Bernard, purely out of shock.  Now, there was a voice you’d never expected to hear again.  You’d hoped for it, of course.  Maybe you’d heard it in some of your stranger dreams, and maybe it had come in across your T.V, like, once, but you never actually believed you’d hear it again.  At least not in person.  However, when you turned, there he was.  That fucking cop.

“Well, hey there Connor sent by- huh.  Probably not Cyberlife anymore, huh?”

“I-”

“Oh, you weren’t sent by the police, were you?  I swear anything you find in my apartment isn’t mine, I stole everything-”

“I-I’m… what?”

You stopped, standing up to face Connor directly.  Sumo whined, though, so you stopped what you were planning on doing and resumed petting the dog, “Damn, I made you speechless.  I am proud of myself just so you know.”

Connor looked at you, and then at Sumo.  It seemed that the great beast liked you.  With a sigh, the android took a seat on the other side of the dog and watched as you rubbed circles into the pup’s fur.

“So,” you smirked, “It’s nice to see you again!  I don’t think I’ve ever seen you outside of a police department before, so this is cool.  I like your shirt.”

Connor had no clue what the fuck you were on about, which was becoming a regular thing at this point.  You were referring to a plain white shirt.  He had no idea what there was to like about it.  When you grinned at him, though, he didn’t care.  He just wanted to say something to you.

“Thank you.”

“No problem!  So, is this big guy yours?”

“Uh, well, yes, I suppose.  His name is Sumo.”

If possible, your smile widened.  You rubbed the fluff around Sumo’s face and cooed again, as if you were slowly becoming a pigeon, “Sumo!!  Sumo, Sumo, Sumo.  It’s perfect!”  

For a moment, Connor found himself staring.  He wasn’t sure what the word was for how he felt watching you fuss over his dog, but he knew it was… nice.  Seeing you smile felt like seeing the sun come out after weeks of rain.  It felt like a fresh pot of coffee in the station, or the joys of a case well done.  It was nice.  Really nice.  It was just as confusing as everything else you did, though.

“Well, he is just the cutest thing!!” you squeaked.  It actually took Connor a minute to realize you were talking to him.

“I’ve heard Hank call him a ‘good boy.’”

“He is!” you exclaimed before realizing you had no idea who Hank was.  That, you decided, would not be a problem for you today.  Maybe it would be for a future you, but you weren’t going to deal with it now.  Now, you were going to cause other problems.

“So, how've ya been, Connor?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you, the last time I saw you we didn’t exactly talk, and a lot has happened since then, so… how are you?”

“I’m…  I’m doing well.  What about you, have you been alright since you…”

“Since I kissed you and fled the police station in the wee hours of the morning?”

“Yes, I believe that covers it.”

You giggled, the smile on your face growing soft as you remembered that night, “Yeah, that was fun.  The charges were dropped so I’m generally free to go.  I just have to avoid committing any other crimes and I should be in the clear.”

There was a moment of silence that almost broke you.  Fortunately, Connor broke the silence first, “Did you not say everything in your apartment is stolen?”

You could not help the loud and obnoxious laugh that escaped you, “You got me there officer!  Perhaps you’d like to visit sometime?  Y’know, to investigate,” on the last word you made sure to wiggle your eyebrows intensely.  You weren’t sure if Connor got the joke, but he did smile, so that was a win.

“So, (Y/N), where were you headed before Sumo interfered?”

“Damn, Con!  It’s always straight to the point, huh?”

“Straight t-?”

“I was actually on my way to grab crepes.  I enjoy supporting local businesses.”

The android raised an eyebrow and gave you a very fun smirk, “Are you sure you aren’t stealing from them?”

“Positive.  You could join me if you wanted to check?  They allow dogs, so...”

Once again, there was a moment of nerve-wracking silence.  Thank god for Connor, honestly, “I think I would like that.”

His answer was semi-unexpected but entirely welcome.  You jumped to your feet, instantly ready to go, “Come on then!  Let’s go!  Rock and roll, buckaroo!”

Once again confused and charmed by your antics, Connor followed your lead, standing and calling Sumo to his side.

Yeah, you were still odd.  And you made him feel weird, but it was the best kind of weird.  You were a lovely type of strange, the exact type that made him smile.  And you got along with his dog.  That, my homeskillet, is a good thing.

[purple-goo-writes]

The Shadows Watching Gotham

Or Watcher as most knows them,is a popular YouTuber and Podcaster and is the outside world's only reliable source of information about the on goings of the Mask Community within the crime ridden city known as Gotham. Aka the No Man's Land and the Crime Capital of the World.

Rumor has it that Watcher is the only way an outsider can contact the Bats. If this is true or not, Superman is about the find out.

Chapter 1: A rattle of bones

The Justice League of America and their younger counterparts watched the monitor in their meeting hall with rapt attention. On it, Barry had pulled up the channel of a popular youtuber, The Shadows Watching Gotham, hoping to get some more intel on the situation on Gotham and the vigilantes that the JLA wished to recruit. Though while the older members were listening with only half an ear, the younger ones were entranced with the hypnotizing and haunting narrative as Watcher spoke. His soft, raspy voice wrapping around them like an intoxicating perfume leaving the Young Justice Members wanting to hear more. Perhaps it was the strange ambient music playing in the background that added to the mystery surrounding Watcher that had them so entranced.

"...Just a friendly reminder for all my Gothamites listening in, Dr. Crane, otherwise known as The Scarecrow, escaped Arkham during last months breakout. Please do not forget your gas masks at home as he is still at large."

Watcher sat at an old and cluttered desk, the only light from an offscreen lamp, possibly a gaslamp, which bathed the teen and his surroundings in a soft golden glow. Though the JL couldn't see anything behind the teen except for pitch blackness, possibly the result of a backdrop. They couldn't see much of the Watcher as his face was blocked by the arm, the pop filter and mic of the studio microphone the teen was using. The teen was wearing a white long sleeved shirt which was rolled up to his elbows, showing off wiry, yet muscular arms covered in an odd variety of scars most Gothamites had littering parts of them, and a pressed red vest with black embroidery swirling across it, a gold tie could be seen just below the arm of the mic. Over all, the Watcher was just as mysterious and cryptic as the vigilantes he talked about.

"Now as the sun rises upon the decrepit bones of our fair city, I must bid you all a fair the well and a hopefully Good Morning. This is Watcher signing off."

And with that the screen went dark, snapping many out of the trance they had fallen into whilst listening to the Watcher speak.

Superman cleared his throat, before standing, "As I was saying. In order to hopefully meet with these vigilantes, I have managed to establish contact with The Watcher, as he is so far our only reliable source on the vigilantes that are not simply rumors spread by the Gotham Gazette or hearsay spread about through the villain network."

Hal frowned, leaning back in his chair rocking it back on two legs, "Yet isn't he just as hard to get a hold of?"

"Which is why I am going to meet him as Clark Kent with Kon acting as my back up in the form of my son shadowing me at work," the man of steel replied, ignoring how his clone/son rolled his eyes and muttered, "Isn't that what I normally fucking do?"

Their relationship was still rocky at time, but Ma Kent was determined to get Clark to do right by the boy. After all they were only on good terms due to Ma Kent. But, Kon was going through what Ma called his rebellious stage and trying to break out of his father's shadow as most teenage sons do. Which lead to snippy comments during meetings and Clark wondering just how Kon managed to get another new piercing, personally he blamed Lex for those because of course the man would figure out how to give a Kryptonian piercings just to piss Superman off.

Clark simply sighed and went back to addressing the others, “The Watcher agreed to meet with us tomorrow evening after I explained that I was writing an article about Gotham and it’s rumored vigilantes and found that he was the only reliable source I could find with recent information. And that I learned about him thanks to my son, Conner.”

“Meaning, I have to watch over fifty videos on Youtube so not to sound stupid when I talk to the dude,” Kon muttered to his best friend, Bart, who giggled softly into his hands. Both ignoring the looks their mentors gave them, though Barry’s was more fond then reprimanding like Clark’s.

“Exactly how will you know if it is this Watcher that you are meeting?” Wonder Woman inquired, a frown settling on her face in contemplation, “After all we do not know what this mysterious Watcher looks like…”

“We will be meeting him at the abandoned opera house within Central Gotham. He said he would know it is him by the red feathers he wears,” Clark sounded confused at this but only shrugged, “It’s the best I could get, he wouldn’t agree to meet outside of Gotham. Due to Gotham being declared No Man’s Land still by the President, even with the major rebuilding done by the Waynes… Most Gothamites don’t leave now.”

He sighed at the confused looks he was getting from the other members, “That was how Watcher explained it to me after I asked.”

The next evening…

Gotham was just as gloomy and foreboding as it was described in all the forums Kon had schemed the night before. What they had failed to mention was the literal stench of despair and fear that hung in the air. Or how Kon felt like the shadows were closing in slowly around him and his sorta-dad/Genetic donor as they hung outside the desolate opera house. Really the building was something out of a horror movie, and that was saying something considering this was Fucking Gotham and most places were probably used as references for horror movie scenery. It was huge and probably had been grand looking back in its prime with its gothic architecture and scale...though now the huge dome of the building was crumbling, slowly caving into itself and the once bright walls of it’s outer shell were now grey and covered in graffiti with most of the stained panels of it’s windows busted out from various villain attacks, bullet holes littered the siding and the once bright letters announcing the next play were broken and mostly missing. Honestly, Kon expected either a ghastly apparition from Hamlet to start monologuing or a serial killer to leap from the crawling shadows of the building looming over them.

He was not expecting someone to fucking sneak up on them out of the shadows and nearly scare Kon into fucking space!

“For an investigative reporter, you aren’t very observant, Mr. Kent,” came a soft, yet raspy voice like smoke behind them, causing both Kents to nearly break cover and leap on top of the building they were standing in front of. A smoky chuckle greeted them as both Kents whirled around just shy of inhuman speeds, “Really, I’ve been standing here watching you two nervously pace for about an hour now.”

An hour?

But how did they not hear him?

Kon was distracted from his thoughts as he took in just who was standing before them. The other teen, as their voice sounded young and didn’t yet have the full changes that signaled adulthood, only came up to Kon’s chin making him around five foot something compared to Kon’s near six feet. (He was so glad they fixed the aging and growing thing. He did not want to be stuck at the height of a thirteen year old forever.) They looked possibly male, but Kon wasn’t going to assign pronouns until they properly introduced themselves it was only polite according to Ma. Kon was still surprised that they managed to sneak up on the two Kents. They were wiry, yet muscular, built mainly for running from what Kon could tell, it was hard to tell with them still somehow blending in with the shadows despite how they were dressed. A white button down, sleeves rolled up to the elbows, with a bright red vest with black embroidery, a golden tie tucked into the vest, black dress slacks and slightly scuffed yet still shiny red loafers. A black trench coat was slung over one shoulder as the person watched them with amused blue eyes, the only part of their face they could see thanks to the bulky, yet futuristic looking, black gas mask with red lights. Kon could only see the person’s eyes thanks to the clear face shield protecting their eyes from foreign objects. Shaggy and long black hair framed the person’s face, the inky blackness of their hair almost blending into the Gotham night if it wasn’t for the bright red feathers tied throughout the inky mass.

Bright red feathers…

Feathers!

“Oh you’re Watcher!” Kon exclaimed being the first to recover, causing the podcaster to chuckle, “Oooh? I see you actually did remember. I was beginning to think that staring was just what Metropolians did.”

[heleizition]

I know it is distracting you, but please,, tell us about the youtuber au

SEFJESFOSEFJOS  pl ease  ... please keep distracting me ive been stuck on sketches for HOURS SJOEFJO

ok so . youtuber au .

this is a no cape au, im not quite sure yet how bruce collects all the kids but ya the waynes are still popular as fuck and the kids all face the medias,,, tim (15/16 years old when it starts) has been rather quiet and avoiding medias and is a lil gamer and also he sings a lot and writes songs and plays the guitar ??? and piano also prob. so he starts doing videos where he talks about writing music (his therapist said writing was good for him and he just started doing the videos on his own) and he sings his songs and there is a lot of random short funny and/or wholesome wayne family moments, and after a while his channel gets found by th public and explodes bc oh fuck yeah tim the ~introvert wayne~ lmaoo

so he takes to it ?? he realises he likes it ?? his friends and his family pops up in his videos, and its a very different way the wayne family is exposed to the public and bruce is very rarely in the videos but there is this one vid thats like super soft and more of a. family recording rather than a youtuber recording bc it doesnt look like people knew they were being recorded (at first) ? anyway the vid is alfred who filmed tim showing bruce one of his songs and bruce is smiling this proud dad smile the whole time and he hugs tim at the end and its so SWEET !!

jason is the one who does q & as with tim,,, he chooses the embarassing questions and annoys tim a lot its lovely. they also brainstorm lyrics together bc jay is a litterature nerd. dick is the one who keeps dropping in when tim doesnt lives to gives him snacc and annoy him into drinking water. cass and him hang out quietly and she hums along when he sings. damian doesnt drop by often when he’s filming, but he likes to jst chill with tim in the big living room when he’s editing vids or working on songs and they jst quietly hang out. duke is also into music but more into making it through softwares so sometimes he does beats and tim and him try stuff on top of it ? they laugh a lot its fun . lot of slam of very weird texts.

conner cassie n bart are obviously here, u know me, conner has a great singing voice, bart knows how to play the synth, and cassie is great with a ukulele : D !! the four of them together are great and its nice !!!!! they’re also all dancing around one another and end up together and they hide it rly well until like two years in (theyre like, 20 now) bart forgets tim is on live and not jst regular filming where he can edit n he comes in n jst kiss tim and tim panics and closes everything, cutting the streaming abruptly lmaooo

anyway he recovers but its a pretty funny moment. anyway  . love that au. just soft and happy .

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

" Leave! Me! Alone! " (for the prompt thing :3)

*Fully dusts off BATIM Monster AU due to it being the spooky month* You know, I don't think I've pinned down what type of monster Thomas was when I started this...

And I recently realized that I have a strong lack of vampires in this AU.

The GENT Mechanic wasn't a full-on monster hater. He had no interest in joining any monster-hunting group that sniffed him out, he often rolled his eyes at small-town preachers who looked down at them, and he mostly minded his own business when it came to the tricky relationship between humans and monsters.

But he also wasn't anywhere as enthusiastic about the studio as Joey and Allison were. He was a sensible man, he knew that monsters were dangerous and that it was stupid not to only trust them at an arm's length.

He could admit that he admired that his client could go as far as to start an entire animation empire just to ensure that his friend (and many others he had met along the way) would be in a place where they weren't seen as outcasts and wouldn't stop doing what they loved because of their circumstances, but he couldn't help but feel... wary of the majority of the studio's strange inhabitants.

Nobody would blame the human mechanic for avoiding the music department as often as he could, knowing the Music Director and how he viewed humans, it would be like blaming a mouse for avoiding a lion's den.

At the same time, he would get funny looks from others as he never went near the studio without a silver cross, an iron ring, a small bag of mixed herbs that was dubbed 'monster bane' due to it being a mix of various monster-repelling plants, and a bag of salt. Because of this, Thomas was not a popular person in the mostly-monster populated studio, but that didn't matter to him.

This wasn't his circus, it wasn't his monkeys, and once his contract ended, he'd probably never go there again. At least, that's what he would tell himself until the day wearing his cross started to burn himself.

--------

"It's a good thing that Allison found you in this state and threw your... wards away imminently." Dr. Hackenbush sighed as he continued to apply the numbing paste to his still twitching patient's neck. "Due to the secrecy surrounding vampire covens, their reluctance to talk about their various races' weaknesses as they're a monster hunter's favorite prey, and the many different types of vampires in the world, it's actually hard to determine what can and can't kill a recently turned vamp. Especially when one can't remember the circumstances of their change."

Tom was partly focusing on what the doctor was telling him, partly freaking himself out by trying and failing to remember how and why he had turned, and mostly keeping an eye out on the entrance to the infirmary as if he expected something to fly in and finish him off.

"Vampires in general might be notoriously hard to keep down for the count, but the process of the metamorphosis from human to vampire is extremely exhausting on the newly made fledgling." The doctor stated as he moved on to put more of the paste on Tom's other injured areas. "While this wouldn't be lethal to an older vamp, it's still extremely painful to them and considered to be torture among many of their races. In your current state and judging based off of the traits I've seen so far... ...I strongly suspect that the cross would've eventually burnt your head clean off your neck if you had not been found in time."

Thomas absentmindedly put his hand where his cross would normally be and gritted his teeth.

Nobody visited him yet, nobody aside from Allison even approached the door before the doctor shooed her out. He wasn't in the state to receive visitors yet, but he could already feel the parade of smug monsters gawking at him. He could already hear them laughing at the loss of his humanity, he could already picture several of them sticking their noses up at his misery declaring 'serves you right!' at him.

"...Could you open your mouth for me Mr. Conner?"

"Huh?" The mechanic snapped out of his day-nightmare and acknowledged the doctor's request. "Oh yeah, sure."

"Thank goodness, it seems that you've been brought in just at the cusp of changing..." While Tom didn't close his mouth on the doctor, he did look at him funny when he began to paint a different paste in his mouth, specifically, on his gums and teeth. The stuff made his mouth feel strongly like static in a matter of seconds. "Comment all you want, but you'd be thanking me if you knew exactly how much of a bitch it would hurt if you had to go through this without the strongest painkillers mankind could make."

"Well I ned mure af ha stuff if I turn inta a baht manstah?"

The mechanic half sarcastically asked through an extremely numb mouth as soon as the doctor was done putting the paste in there.

"No, unlike a werewolf who will transform based on the position of the moon, a vampire's ability to turn into a bat is normally rooted in the said vampire's willpower and or their mental and emotional state. It will not hurt unless you will it to. But turning into a bat and back again will use up a lot of energy and burn a ton of calories, so I don't recommend it as of right now. For similar reasons, I also wouldn't recommend swimming twenty miles and running a marathon back to back either."

The doctor did a once-over on his patient's treated injuries and checked his vitals before giving him his normal clothes back.

"Alright, it seems that everything's up to order..." The doctor proceeded to write down a list that he handed to Thomas. "Don't eat anything until after you can fully feel your mouth again, otherwise you might accidentally cut out your own tongue. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to either come to me about it or ask around the studio for either werewolf packs or vampire covens. The latter's rarer than the former but werewolves and vampires have been known to get along well due to the pair often engaging in a symbiotic relationship."

"I thawt tat Wahwoles an vamhires hated each other..?"

He was internally grateful that the staticky feeling of his mouth was subsiding just enough for him to be able to talk normally again.

"That's a common misconception that came from World War II I'm afraid; American soldiers who happen to be vampires hate Nazis who happen to be werewolves and vice versa."

Thomas frowned as he stopped to read the list, it was basically a bunch of common vampire dos and don'ts, mostly don'ts; avoid sunlight, religious symbols and texts, mirrors in public areas, etc. He ran his tongue against his top and bottom canine teeth and while his tongue still felt off from the medicine, he could tell that those teeth were longer and sharper.

He knew that with each passing second, he was becoming more and more like one of the studio's many monsters that he was wary of, and he felt gutted because of it.

"...Thanks for everything, doc. I... I'll go ask Joey for some time off to adjust to all of... this."

-------------

Instead of going to Joey, Tom had spent the rest of the day trying to carry on with his daily tasks and work as usual, fixing up the pipes, checking on the Ink machine, mostly just trying to bury the knowledge of his vampirism in work.

Thankfully he was unbothered by the studio's workers, so it mostly worked out fine for him. Until he got to his least favorite part of the studio to work in: The music department.

Part of him was tempted to just make Wally do this, but as a werewolf, Wally would sense that he wasn't wearing silver or wolf's bane anymore and would be curious as to why he wasn't wearing any. He didn't want to lie to him but he also didn't want the Janitor to find out about his ...condition, he wasn't ready for that yet. In fact, he didn't want anyone in the studio's wolf pack to find out about this. He had goosebumps on the outside and inside just thinking about how they'd react.

He knew that they wouldn't be smug about it like how he assumed other monsters would, even worse than that. They'd know that he didn't have a coven as he was only recently turned, so they'd probably welcome him into the pack with open arms, especially if he was one of those vampires that was able to turn into a wolf too. They'd freely and willingly accept them as one of their own, a monster.

He tried to shake those thoughts away and continue to work on pipes that had been bitten into by the godforsaken raven monster. He cursed about Sammy under his breath as he fixed them as usual. He could feel the music director's presence as he did so, but unlike how this normally went, he didn't sense any hostility or hunger coming from the looming shadow of the beast in human's clothing.

Thomas had his back turned away from the normally wrathful monster, he wasn't seeing what the man's expression was. He didn't know if the damned bird was proud of his lost humanity, looking at him like he was now worthy of being an underling of his, or if the musician simply pitied him for god knows why.

But the mere presence of the beast alone was driving him crazy.

"Leave! Me! ALONE!" The vampire mechanic spun around and half-shouted half-hissed at the confused looking music director. "I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT ME, BUT I DON'T NEED YOU TO LOOM OVER MY WORK AND RUB IN WITH YOUR PRESENCE THAT I'M A FUCKING UNDEAD, BLOOD-SUCKING, FANGED FREAK!"

Thomas wasn't sure which reaction he was excepting from the beast, but he felt a mixture of goosebumps and anger as the director stepped forward and looked at him with intrigue.

"...Do you mean a vampire?"

"Yes, of course I do." The mechanic rolled his eyes as he fought back the urge to fight the raven. "What gave it away?"

Sammy smiled at him, not in that hungry 'I want to eat you but know that I can't' kind of smile, but also not a smug 'haha! you're a monster too now!' way. Before today, Thomas wasn't sure that Sammy was physically capable of smiling like that and it both creeped him out and made him angrier about this situation.

"Nothing, you simply told me that yourself."

"...Then why were you starring at me like that?"

The Bird monster shrugged.

"I was just wondering why your presence didn't seem to harm anyone anymore." He stated as he turned to leave Tom to do his work. "I guess I know why now."

[miss-choco-chips]

YJ College au: Zatara

Zachary Zatara is both a myth and their housemate.

In which Bart has a cryptic-buddy, Tim is stressed because cute boy insists on being annoying, and everyone else just rolls with it.

Tagging @animemangasoul and @marudny-robot cause I know you guys like this au

--.--.--.--

As usual after pulling an all-week-er (he had left the ‘nighters well behind at this point), Tim was up late that saturday. The window had been left open last night, so a soft streak of sunlight wamed his bed, waking him up slowly and peacefully. Yeah, he would have liked a few more hours, but sunbathing in his sheets for a while wasn’t all that bad either. What would make this half-awake-half-dreaming experience would be some chill music.

Muddled mind made, he rolled in his bed, hand patting the mattress for his phone, squinting his eyes open when he hit something different instead.

He found himself to be almost nose to nose with a dark haired, grey eyed boy.

Tim started that fine morning screaming himself hoarse.

-.-.-.-.-

Sitting at the kitchen’s table, getting everything ready for a late sunday breakfast, Kon raised his head when he heard the strong sound of a scream, followed by… yeah, that was a body hitting the ground. It was unmistakable, in this house. 

“Oh, hey guys”, he called to the attention of the rest of his housemates, all in equals states of zombie-ness, with not as good hearing as his. “Zachary is here.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“The fuck, Zach? My bed? Did you HAVE to crash on my bed? Why are you even here?”

Tim, four coffee cups after his pseudo heart attack half an hour ago, was ready to face the day and their intruder.

“Dude I live here as well, you know. Also your bed is literally the softest thing I ever slept on, you rich bastard. Learn to share.”

“I’ll buy you your own fucking mattress if you swear to never crawl on my bed uninvited again.”

The boy’s eyebrows rose, suggestively. “What was that about an invitation?”

Distressed and not feeling awake enough (he was still two cups away from that) to deal with bi thoughts this early in the morning, he turned his most helpless look to Conner.

Because he was the best friend ever, he threw a pillow to Zachary. And because he was a suck up to anyone who brought him food, Bart intercepted the hit and gratefully accepted the candy bag he got in thanks.

“But actually, Zat, what are you doing here? I thought you were in Berlin?” interjected Cassie, her own tea (the heathen) cup warming her hands as she cuddled with Cissie and Greta on the couch, legs in each other’s laps and generally being the cutest shit ever.

Anita, not very keen on that kind of sweet love, had been wrestling with Slobo for control over the remote for the last fifteen minutes. Miguel was keeping count on their hits for them, though it was mostly assured he would rig the whole thing up to whoever had bribed him better before the fight.

Tim just wanted to go back to sleep in his sun-warmed bed.

“C’mon guys, keep up”, moaned Bart, candy bag half empty already, “he was there two weeks ago. He had an exam yesterday so he came back last monday.”

“...come again?”

“I’ve been room-hopping ever since, though none of you seemed to mind. Until I disturbed sleeping beauty over here, at least.”

Miguel’s eyes left the fight to squint suspiciously at them. “We weren’t aware you were doing that. Where did you sleep? How didn’t we notice?”

“I'ma mystery. I also move around a lot when sleeping so I probably ended up under someone’s bed after crashing from studying. Oh, Anita, if you were wondering, your purple bra is under Cissie’s bed.”

Anita slowly let go of the grip she had on Slobo’s neck. Her eyes shone something dangerous. Cissie, the one who was apparently hosting the boy all along, also stood up and frowned.

“How do you even know that bra is mine!!”

“What the fuck were you doing under my bed, you bastard!”

Tim sipped his coffee, bitterly. “At least he was under it, and not sharing it.”

Kon patted his back.

-.-.-.-.-..- 

“I swear, Jay, he thrives on making me lose my shit. He just… comes and goes whenever, leaving no proof he was ever there, or acting like he was always around. Drives me nuts. I’m not sure he even attends classes, and I only know he actually has a right to enter our house because his rent money always appears on the kitchen table a day before its due. He doesn’t even have a room, why does he even pay? To have an excuse to scare the shit out of the rest of us. Except Bart. The little shit lives for our suffering.”

Jason arches an eyebrow, sipping his beer as he carefully examines his brother. Tim looked less tired than the last time they saw each other, and the modifications done by his psychiatrist had done wonders to the shadows in his eyes. But he seemed somehow… frazzled.

“And he was just there when you woke up?”

“His nose was touching mine.”

“I bet your little bi heart couldn't take that, huh? Is he cute? Maybe you invited him to share your bed the night before and just don’t remember. You know how you get after a week of disregarding your general wellbeing.”

“Oh, shush you. I take care of myself. When was the last time you went to your check in with Patricia?”

Jason scratched the back of his neck, averting his eyes. “I missed one session, because I have exams too you know? But I’m up to date with Silvio, and we are working on slowly easing me off the medication.” He noticed the way Tim looked at his drink, expression screaming bullshit, and he scowled in response. “Fuck off, it’s alcohol-free. Kori and Artemis would have my head if they caught me mixing my dosage with anything stronger than tea, and I can’t deal with Biz and Roy’s disappointed eyes.” 

Tim thought of the last time he refused to see his therapist, and the look in everyone’s  (specially Kon’s) eyes, and had to agree. Having friends sucked when one wanted to wallow in self destructive conducts.

“Whatever, all I’m saying is, he’s not cute enough for me to forgive his weirdness. You know the people I roll with, so this is saying a lot. And I would remember inviting him to my bed, if anything for the mortification of it. I’m also…”

The ring of the doorbell distracted them both of whatever Tim was gonna say next. Waving his brother off, Jason got up to pay for their pizza.

When he returned to his living room, Tim was no longer alone.

“Who the fuck are you?” He exclaimed, eyes going back to the hallway at his back, then again at the black haired, grey eyed kid sitting next to Tim. “And how did you get in? We are on the sixth floor and I was just at the only door I have.”

Tim raised his eyes at him, and he seemed equal parts resigned and frazzled. ‘Told ya’, he seemed to say.

“Yo, the food’s finally here. I’m starving. The name’s Zachary Zatarra, by the way. Tim’s friend and housemate.”

“Allegedly” mumbled the other under his breath, earning himself a smile and pat on the back. “Don’t question it, Jay. He’ll be gone after a while when none of us are paying attention. Just let it be.”

“But while I’m here”, the other boy continued, grinning devilishly as he looked at Tim and then Jason, “instead of questioning how did I get in, what about I tell you all about your lil bro’s crush? It 's adorable.”

Tim raised an eyebrow “I don’t have a crush on anyone.”

“Like I said, adorable. He’s so oblivious, it’s precious.”

Decision made, Jason left the pizzas at the coffee table and went to fetch a soda for their guest. Gossip, especially about his siblings, was the best way to gain his immediate cooperation. And he could always force the answers about Zatara out of Bart; the brat was terrified of him.

-.-.-.-.-.-

“Hey, who has to cook tonight? Because I’m craving chicken nuggets.”

Cassie raised her eyes from her magazine, tapping a finger against her chin.

“Uhm… Zach, I think?”

Miguel nodded. “Okay, thanks, where can I find him to suggest my dinner idea?”

Cissie, legs on Cassie’s lap, dropped her head over the couch’s armrest. “Ask Tim? Wasn’t he crashing with him this week?”

That same moment, said boy entered the room, shaking his head. “No, he was sharing with Anita and Cassie.”

“No, he wasn’t… Slobo?”

“Not with us either”, denied Miguel, sharing a look with his roommate to confirm just in case.

“Conner?”

“Didn’t Bart say yesterday he was driving him to the airport?”

“Wait, he left the country again?”

“More importantly, can Bart drive?”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

When Tim came back home from class, Damian was in his living room. Using a laptop. Sitting side by side with Zatarra.

This couldn't be good.

“Hey, Timbo, welcome back.”

“Drake.”

Not uttering a single word, Tim turned around and walked out of there. Sleeping on a park bench seemed like a preferable choice, compared to finding out exactly why the two banes of his life were sitting together. It was healthier, good for his peace of mind.

Something something self care? His therapist would be so proud.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“Hey dude.”

“Zatara. Your presence here disrupts my room’s feng shui. Please remove yourself from the premises.”

“This disaster zone is the farthest thing from armonious. If anything, I’m improving it.”

Tim raised his eyes from the computer screen. He could always kick the other man out, but that would require leaving the nest he made out of blankets and snacks on his bed. Perhaps a more civilized option would be better. Besides, as boundary-less as the dude was, he didn’t step into the room, just remaining on the doorstep, so whatever he was here for, he most likely needed Tim’s willful compliance.

“If I listen to what you have to say, will you leave?”

Zatara smiled angelically, like butter wouldn’t melt on his mouth, but the look behind his eyes was nothing short of devious. “That’s actually what I came to speak with you about. I have a show…”

“I’m sorry, what?” 

“A magic show. Dude, you do know I’m a magician, right?”

Tim didn’t, in fact, know that, besides baseless suppositions about his disappearing-and-appearing abilities. But he had an all knowing facade to maintain, so he grunted in acknowledgement.

“Right, so, I have a show scheduled for tomorrow, but I took Bart out to dinner yesterday so I’m all dried up, and I need to buy a plane ticket asap.”

“Are you asking me for a loan?” he inquired, incredulous. As a general rule, all their housemates refrained from that. Something about not wanting to take advantage of their billionaire friend…

“No, no. I’m offering you a…. service.”

“Look, Zach, no offense? But you ain’t cute enough for me to stoop that low and pay for the… pleasure of your company. I can just give you the money and you pay me back whenever, dude.”

“No! I didn’t mean it like that! You wish I was offering something  of the sort” he laughed, arms crossed and side leaning against the doorframe, chest and arm muscles perfectly visible. Tim kept his eyes carefully above neck-level. No need to give any weakness away.

“Then?”

“I know you love me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t make you miserable, right?”

“That is correct, yes.”

“Are you familiar with the ‘Buy my silence, $8.000 a month’ meme? Then get ready for a ‘pay for my absence’, my good bitch. I thought maybe you’d like...”

“Sold. I buy it. Take my credit card and go, be free, roam the world. Just get out of my room and fucking text once in a while so I know you’re alive.”

[sohotthateveryonedied]

Softer Than Silence

Read here on AO3!

(Takes place right after this fic which I wrote like a year ago and only now got to making a sequel for whoops.)

Summary:

“Your larynx was severed. It was a pretty nasty injury and Leslie did everything she could, but your vocal cords...they weren’t salvageable. I’m...I’m so sorry, Tim.”

Tim lets that sink in. Severed larynx. Unsalvageable vocal cords.

Oh, god.

Tim doesn’t know how much time has passed when he wakes up. He’s not even sure how he’s waking up. A slit throat in any universe should be a certain one-way ticket to the afterlife—don’t pass go, don’t collect two hundred dollars. Dead. Maybe Tim is dreaming. Or maybe he’s dying right now and this is just his brain flashing forward to the future he could have had, “Owl Creek Bridge”-style. His ears feel like they’re packed with pillows, but voices make their way through his warped awareness like pencils poking through aluminum foil. “I say we should draw straws.” “Really, Jay? That’s your suggestion?” “You got a better idea, Dickface?” Someone clicks their tongue. “You’re both cowards. Let me be the one to tell him and I’ll have it done in less than a minute.” “I can’t even tell you all of the reasons I’m not letting you do that.” “Yeah, kid, your bedside manner fucking sucks.” “It’s better than yours!” “Will you both shut up?” Tim would feign sleep and listen longer, but the drug-induced haze is fading faster than he can keep up with. His throat burns with a fiery vengeance, flames creeping up his windpipe. He shifts, a hand instinctively grappling for his throat. Someone stops him. “Tim? You awake?” He opens his eyes. Dick is beside him, lowering Tim’s wrist back to the bed. They’re in the medical area of the Batcave; he can tell by the dank air and a sliver of rock peeking through the gap in the curtain surrounding them. Jason and Damian stand off to the side, their expressions unreadable. Tim opens his mouth to ask them what happened, but before he can utter a vowel, Dick is squeezing his hand. “Don’t try to talk,” he says. Tim obediently settles back, wariness rising in his gut. He reaches up with the hand not in Dick’s grasp and discovers a thick bandage plastered over his neck. That can’t be good. “Do you remember what happened?” The man flicks Tim’s blood off of his sword. “I would love to continue this riveting visit of ours, but it seems like my mission is complete. Have a pleasant night, Mr. Drake.” Tim nods with a wince. “You were lucky,” Dick says. “Conner found you and brought you here just in time. You lost a lot of blood and Leslie had you in surgery for a while, but she was able to fix most of the damage.” Tim doesn’t miss the most, and Dick grimaces when he catches it as well. Tim arches one eyebrow—a clear, What aren’t you telling me? “Looks like that’s our cue to duck out,” Jason says. He grabs Damian by the shoulder and ignores the raccoon-like hands smacking him away. “Glad you didn’t die, Tim.” He ushers Damian out and they disappear, leaving Tim’s stomach curdling. He looks to Dick for an explanation. “There...there was a lot of damage, Tim. You’re lucky to be breathing right now.” That should be good, right? Tim is alive. There’s no tube in his neck so he can breathe on his own, and aside from some residual soreness under the buzz of the drugs, he feels fine. This is a monumental victory. So why does Dick look like he’s delivering a death sentence? Tim wants to ask, but he physically can’t do that. Dick doesn’t seem to be able to either. “Your larynx was severed. It was a pretty nasty injury and Leslie did everything she could, but your vocal cords...they weren’t salvageable. I’m...I’m so sorry, Tim.” Tim lets that sink in. Severed larynx. Unsalvageable vocal cords. Oh, god. The utter horror on Tim’s face must be unmistakable because Dick is rushing to comfort him. “It’s okay, Tim. You’re going to get through this.” But Dick’s voice is muffled by the ringing in Tim’s ears. He can’t lose his voice. He can’t. This isn’t happening. Tim scrambles to sit up, his breathing becoming ragged. He sucks in a deep breath, opens his mouth, and tries, tries to make a noise. Tries to make a single sound, but all that comes out is a rush of air. He’s shaking. He tries to speak, to yell, to scream, and there are tears running down his cheeks and his gasps are empty and his throat hurts but he doesn’t stop. Dick’s hand is on his back. “Hey, hey, it’s going to be okay. We’ll figure this out.” Tim hates that he doesn’t even have the ability to argue, to tell Dick that there’s nothing to figure out. Tim can’t speak and meaningless encouragement isn’t going to change that. Nothing will change it. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s an adjustment, to say the least. The first day, Tim holds out a flicker of hope that this is all some dream and any minute he’ll wake up again in the med bay, throat repaired and vocal cords intact. He can’t believe this is happening to him. In his entire life Tim never once considered what it would be like to lose his voice, never prepared himself for the possibility. He’s watched Cass trudge through reading assignments from Barbara and struggle to find the right words in a conversation, but it never occurred to him just how much Tim relied on his ability to speak. He took it for granted. His first day out of the med bay he finds himself slipping up again and again, opening his mouth in response to a question only to remember that that’s no longer an option. He doesn’t know enough sign language to partake in a conversation, so he avoids them altogether. He hears Alfred humming along to an opera album down the hall and is filled with a vicious, panging envy. Never again will Tim hum, sing, laugh. It’s all gone. Everyone keeps giving him the same droll sermons. He’ll get through this. It could have been worse; he could be dead. Cass manages just fine with sign language, and Tim can too. He should count himself lucky that the damage wasn’t more severe. But is he lucky? Is he really? Tim has already lost so much: his parents, his friends, his Robin career, Bruce. And now his voice. Life just doesn’t know when to stop taking from him. Maybe it will never stop taking, not until he’s an empty husk. Conner left for Smallville just a few days after Tim awoke. He never said why, but Tim knows it’s because he feels guilty. Tim wants to reassure him that this isn’t his fault, that Tim would be dead if Conner hadn’t saved him, but it would take too long to write down. Bruce taught Tim basic ASL shortly after he began his Robin training, sticking to the most rudimentary of phrases that one would need for crime-fighting. Yes. No. Please. Thank you. Help. Safe. Danger. Steph offered to learn sign language with him and Alfred left a sneaky pile of ASL books on Tim’s desk, but he hasn’t touched them. He instead relies on a whiteboard and marker to communicate, rarely as he does. His search for Bruce has been put on hold, not of his own volition. He supposes it’s fair. After all, Tim can’t even order a hamburger anymore without the help of his whiteboard. Not that he leaves the manor much, anyway. The bandage on his neck draws too much unwanted attention. He’d hate to see what Gotham’s press would conspirize about a Wayne son with a mysteriously slit throat. Tim’s days are spent in his room, working on cases out of the action. That’s what he does now, sitting on his bed with his laptop, music blasting through his headphones. Dick pokes his head in without knocking. They still haven’t devised a system for that yet. “Hey, you got a second?” Tim flicks his fingers in Dick’s direction: his way of acknowledging people these days. He pauses his music. “Damian and I are heading out on patrol now.” Tim says nothing. Obviously. “Alfred told me you didn’t eat dinner. Or lunch. Or breakfast.” Tim rifles through the papers sprawled around his knees and holds up a crumpled pink post-it. Throat hurts. “That excuse again?” Tim shrugs. “Look, I know you’re frustrated, but what you’re doing isn’t healthy. You know that, right?” Tim twirls a finger in the air. Whoop-dee-doo. “That’s real mature.” Of all the things I have to worry about right now, I’d say maturity is pretty low on the list. Not that Tim says any of that. He doesn’t know the signs and he let his whiteboard fall off the bed somewhere to his left hours ago. He doesn’t bother reaching for it. Dick comes closer to the bed and stops. “Can I sit?” Tim shrugs and goes back to his laptop. Dick sits on the edge by Tim’s knee and reaches over to close the computer. Tim flips him one of the few ASL signs he does know. “You have a right to be angry about this, but you can’t project that anger onto us. Me, Damian, Alfred—we’re not the ones you’re mad at. And we all want to help you, but we can’t do that if you don’t let us. So start letting us.” Easy for him to say. But Tim knows he’s right, as infuriating as it is, which is the only reason he doesn’t turn his music back on and shut down for another week. Sighing, Tim opens the laptop. He pulls up a blank word document and types for a moment. He turns the computer around to show Dick. Speech for Neon Knights foundation in a couple days. Already written. Just need someone to deliver it. Dick nods, smiling. “Sure. I can take care of that. And it’s okay if you need more time to work through this, but I want you to remember that I’m here if you ever want to talk. Or, well—you know what I mean. Just remember you’re not alone in this.” Tim wishes he could tell Dick the truth. That Tim does appreciate everything he’s trying to do—really, he does. Tim doesn’t know where he’d even be if he didn’t have Dick by his side, making the world a brighter place just by existing in it with his endless patience and unfaltering optimism. If only he had the voice to tell him. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jason wouldn’t call himself a particularly caring individual. That sort of legacy is better left to the real heroes, like Bruce and Roy and Dick-fucking-Grayson. It’s for this reason that Jason didn’t stick around for a hot second when Tim got hurt, nor did he return for the aftermath. Tim is dealing with enough shit right now. He doesn’t need his asshole older brother getting involved and making him feel worse. Jason can’t imagine what it would be like to be in Tim’s situation. For starters, it would utterly butcher his knack for smartass remarks. Plus, there’s no finer euphoria than screaming obscenities at a blubbering criminal right before he puts a bullet through their skull. Losing his voice would be losing half of what makes him the Red Hood. Red Robin, on the other hand...he’s always been quiet. Not like Cass, but getting there. He relies on shadows and ninja-like swiftness to get the point across that this is goddamn Red Robin and you should be wetting your pants in his wake. But Jason’s smart enough to know that the silent schtick is done by choice. It’s a maneuver and a learned behavior rolled into one. He can only imagine how torturous it must be to be silenced by force—to be muzzled by something completely out of his control. (Fine, so Jason cares about the kid a little. Sue him.) He goes into the Batburger restaurant (Jesus shit, whoever came up with the idea of a Batman-themed restaurant should be shot in the head. Or maybe thrown a parade. He can’t decide) and scouts for black hair and pale skin. He spots Tim in a booth all the way at the back and heads over, sliding into the seat across from him. “Hey, kid.” Tim picks his head up from where he was engrossed in a game of Solitaire on his phone and gives a two-fingered salute. A notepad and Superman pen sit on the table in front of him. “Did you order yet?” Tim points to the scar on his neck and Jason mentally slaps himself in the forehead. “Right.” Tim picks up the pen and scribbles for a minute. “What,” Jason says, “no whiteboard today?” Tim turns the pad around to show Jason. Too bulky. People notice. Below that: Nuggets, fries & grape zesti. “Magic words?” Tim rolls his eyes. He tears out the page and bounces it off Jason’s forehead. However, he does lift his right hand and rotate it in front of his chest, palm flat: the ASL sign for “please.” Jason recognizes it from his minimal knowledge accumulated from Robin training and conversations with Cass. “Attaboy. For a minute there I was worried Alf failed in making a decent person out of you.” Tim sticks his tongue out, which makes Jason chuckle. He goes to the counter and relays Tim’s order, along with his own. While he waits he dares a look back and finds Tim back to staring down at his phone, shirt collar pulled as high as it’ll go. What must it be like, going from Gotham’s favorite billionaire playboy-in-training to a silent teenager who can’t go to a restaurant without people staring at the killer scar across his throat? Jason’s seen the gossip magazines. Some speculate a failed assassination, while others are sure it was a suicide attempt gone wrong. At least Jason’s scars can be covered by a t-shirt. Tim can’t hide his without a turtleneck, but it’s summer now. He’s forced to endure the speculated theories and pitiful glances, meanwhile Jason has the benefit of being legally dead on his side. He doesn’t have to worry about people remembering him. Losing one’s voice only months after losing his second father figure is tough shit for a seventeen-year-old. For anyone. He doesn’t know how Tim does it. Jason goes back to the table and finds Tim doodling a stick figure on the notepad. It’s got thick, narrowed eyebrows and pointed teeth. “That supposed to be me?” Tim’s mouth quirks. He fingerspells, Damian. His sleeve falls down an inch, exposing a med-alert bracelet. Alfred must have made him start wearing it. What with his asplenia and nasty habit of fainting in places when he forgets to eat, it makes sense that Tim would need it. If something were to happen, it’s not like he can inform paramedics of the deal. “You really captured the evil in his eyes.” Jason takes a bite of his cheeseburger while Tim busies himself with arranging his fries in size order, the little weirdo. “So how are things at home?” Good, Tim signs, his movements clunky and unpracticed. Dick… He frowns and scribbles on the pad. Helicopter parenting. “Same old, same old, right?” Tim levels an unimpressed look. “What? It can’t be that bad.” Benched indefinitely. It sucks. “Can you blame him? I wouldn’t want you in the field like this yet either.” Cass, Tim writes, and leaves it at that. “But she’s been functioning without speech for her whole life. She doesn’t need it to be understood. You’ve only been doing it for two weeks.” And a half, Tim writes. “You know what I mean. ‘s not like you can call for help if you get gutted in an alley.” Never thought I’d see the day when you’d take Dick’s side. “Yeah, well, sometimes the fucker has a point.” He takes a sip of his soda. “You know, I talked to Babs yesterday. Said she’s working on tech that’ll let you use morse code over the comms. If she finishes it on schedule, you can be back out there in less than a month.” Tim just nods, eyes dimmed. It’s weird seeing the kid so quiet. The real trick used to be getting Tim to shut up. He used to spend hours rambling on and on about whatever science kick he was on at the moment. For as quiet as Red Robin could be, Tim Drake never ran out of things to say. Jason misses it. He throws a sesame seed at Tim. “Hey. I’m trying to have a conversation here.” Tim makes a gesture that Jason doesn’t recognize. At Jay’s confused look, Tim writes on the notepad, Fuck off. “Cassie teach you that one?” Steph. Wanted to learn curse words first. “Of course you did. You know, you should hit up Jericho. He knows exactly what you’re going through, and I’m pretty sure he was able to teach Dick sign language in less than a year.” You’re the fifth person to say that. “I’m a fucking genius, we know this. But seriously. It might be useful to have someone in your corner who knows how to cope with this kind of thing.” I’m coping fine. “By listening to shitty emo music all day in your room? Yeah, because that’s super healthy.” Tim twiddles the pen between his fingers, glaring at Jason. Finally, he puts it to paper. I keep calling my cell phone to listen to the voicemail. Jason blinks. “Why?” Don’t want to forget what my voice sounds like. “You won’t.” Forgot my mom’s after a year. Starting to forget my dad’s. Tim pauses before adding, He yelled a lot though, so I think he’s got a lead. Jason has no fucking idea what to say to that, thanks for asking. He gives it a shot anyway. “Then...then I’ll remember it enough for the both of us. It's kind of hard to forget that annoying-ass nasally voice babbling about Star Wars for hours anyway.” Wow, thanks, Tim signs with an eye roll. No problem, Jason signs back. That makes Tim smile for the first time since Jason sat down. Maybe this kid will be all right, after all.

[klariwitch]

Southern Nights

Read it on ao3

Tim was driving. Driving far away. Where was he going? Even he didn’t know that. Just, far away from Gotham, far away from California, far away from Paris, far away from from his family, from his friends, and most importantly far away from all the graves he seems to be collecting.

He halted the car eventually, he even climbed out of the drivers seat and took a look around. All around him he saw not much other than the open and empty dirt road—surrounded by fields of wheat. After all the stops, all the gas, all the hours of driving, all the lack of sleep and refusal to eat, he found himself here: in Kansas.

It was July. It was July and Timothy Drake had stolen his dad’s old mustang, drove hours upon hours, only stopping for gas because he felt he had somewhere he needed to go. It was July and Timothy Drake disassociated his whole drive and ended up in Kansas. It was July and Timothy drake was in Kansas.

Soon, he could only find himself running through those fields of wheat, wanting something else, anything else. He wanted to disappear right then and there, in that field of soft, golden wheat. He hoped the ground would open up and the earth would consume him whole.

So against the dirt he laid, staring up at the stars, a sense of nostalgia or deja vu hitting him in an instant. Because back then, there was always a shadow following him, an obnoxious, stupid, charming, handsome, comforting shadow. That shadow was long gone, emptiness only filling up that old void. And much like Peter Pan, Tim lost his shadow, only unlike Peter’s there was no finding it.

“Fuck. What am I doing here?” He pondered, standing up slowly in the moonlight. Unfortunately, the ground had not swallowed Tim the way he hoped, instead, Tim found himself heading back to the car, dirt on his knees and wheat in his hair. The soft sound of music growing as he walked closer.

southern nights

have you ever felt a southern night?

free as a breeze

not to mention the trees

whistlin’ tunes that you know and love so

A deep voice sung along with the lyrics, and upon approaching the road, Tim became face to face with him.

“Remember that one summer when you stayed over at the farm a few years back? Remember we went way out into the field because we couldn’t sleep, we took pa’s old radio and cranked it up to just the right volume for dancing. Remember how idiotic we were when this song came on? Well, even though we were just messing around while we danced to it, that was actually the moment I fell for you,” Conner smiled warmly. He sat on the hood of the red mustang, his head bouncing as he hummed along to the song.

Tim took a breath, he shuttered in the cold, walking back to the drivers side. Kon el, Conner Kent, the Superboy just admitted his love to him and yet, his presence made his blood boil. “I don’t know what sick fuck set you up to this but you need to leave,” Tim growled, a clear sob being pushed down as he spoke.

He couldn’t look at him, not now. Not after all the happened. “I know you’re not fucking real I’m just hallucinating or something,” He assured himself, giving a nod.

“What are you talking about? I’ve been following you for miles, Tim, hours. You just randomly left everyone without telling anyone where you were going, without saying goodbye..” Conner floated into the passengers seat, looking hurt by Tim’s words. “Why here? Why are you in Kansas, bud? Everyone was so worried, we thought Ra’s took you, or maybe worse.”

They sat in silence for several moments before Tim started up the car again, and in enough time his foot was on the gas and they were zipping down the dirt road, crisp wind in their hair. “I’m fine, and Ra’s isn’t here.”

southern skies

have you ever noticed southern skies?

it’s precious beauty lies just beyond the eye

“Why are you still here?” Tim called to his passenger over the loud radio, he didn’t even look at him, he could feel himself dissociating again, “I said, why the fuck are you here Conner?”

“I told you, you just left everyone, out of nowhere-“

“No!” The car picked up speed, and now Tim found himself face to face with the Kryptonian. “You’re supposed to be dead! You died!”

old man

he and his dog, they walk the old land

every flower touched his cold hand

as he slowly walked by

weeping’ willow would cry for joy, joy

“No I’m not, Tim remember Paris? Remember when you hugged me the time after that? How you said you were sure now? You knew that I was alive, I’ve been alive, I am alive!” Conner looked at him as if he were crazy. “Tim what’s going on? You took out your fucking tracker? I mean how did you even do that? Why? I just- I don’t understand.”

Tim couldn’t hear him though, he’d fell back down the rabbit hole of disassociation, much like the way he ended up here, only who knows where he’d make it this time, or if he’d even make it, period.

He could still feel the warmth in his heart from those nights, the times he was told Conner was indeed alive, the times he actually touched him, and yet he still insisted this was not happening. Going further back now, he could recall the moments of peace he felt when they danced that summer. They danced in the fields outside the Kent farm, an old radio blasting old songs for the two young friends. They danced like idiots, but Tim didn’t feel like an idiot. He felt at peace, he felt comfortable, he felt loved. They were young, naive, and he supposed in love as well.

Now, life was confusing. He was torn between his talks with his therapist, about him seeing things, hearing things, things that weren’t actually there, and just wanting to jump into Conner’s arms and cry on his shoulder. He knew he wasn’t real, after all this time he wasn’t just suddenly back.

“God. Fuck you Conner Kent. Can’t you see I’m grieving?” Tim shot him a glare, Conner returned a frown, he looked heartbroken. Part of Tim wanted to just reach out for him, he wanted to just give in so badly...he wanted to feel that warmth again.

mystery

like this and many others in the trees

blow in the night

in the southern skies

Conner put a hand on the back of Tim’s neck, dragging his thumb along the tips of his overgrown hair. The car sped up.

Tim couldn’t control himself anymore, he turned to Conner, hungrily grabbing his jaw as he pulled him close to kiss him. Conner ran his fingers through Tim’s hair, kissing him back just as eagerly. The two intertwined, grasping at one another like it was the end of the world—like if they let go they’d die.

southern nights,

they feel so good, it’s a frightening

wish I could

stop this world from fighting

Tim broke the kiss momentarily, catching his breath before he was pulled back in by his chin, the angle this time different than before. Now Tim had his fingers twisting through Conner’s hair, his other hand playing absent mindlessly with Conner’s T-shirt.

When he pulled away a second time, he felt a firm hand on his waist, he cradled Conner’s face in his hands, looking at him in the eye with tears as he whispered one soft “I’m so sorry”

Then they crashed.

And Tim went limp in Conner’s arms.

southern skies

have you ever noticed?

[larryfanficwriter98]

Chapter Fourteen

Harry woke up the next morning earlier than usual due to their early night yesterday. Just thinking about it made him grin, but then it made him think about his past relationship with 'douchebag' as Louis likes to call him. Or any other insult he could think of at the moment. Douchebag, or Connor, took one look at him and said it was "unnaturally large" and refused to give what he wanted to get. He had bullied Harry whenever a bulge would show in his pants and had made him get uncomfortable briefs that had a pocket to tuck everything in.

He had also made Harry tape himself down with medical tape if they went to the beach so it wouldn't be seen in photos on accident. Harry had always been self-conscious about it, it wasn't hard to notice that you were bigger than your mates in the changing rooms. Especially when one of the guys had a measuring tape and challenged everyone to measure themselves. It was obvious when everyone was 3-5 inches soft and Harry was 6 soft.

Being a little over 9 inches in length and 5 inches in girth when hard Harry had been bigger than Conner by quite a few inches. Louis hadn't seemed bothered though, in fact, he had gotten turned on as he gave Harry a blowjob. Though he did seem nervous as he had taken Harry's pants off which Harry was going to ask Louis about when he woke up. He wanted to make sure Louis was okay and hadn't been pressured or anything like that. Harry would never forgive himself if he unknowingly pressured Louis.

Harry looked over at Louis who was still fast asleep. He was curled around Harry's back being the big spoon that Harry didn't know being the little spoon felt so great. No wonder Douchebag always wanted to be the little spoon. Harry snuggled back against Louis then grimaced and lifted the blanket seeing the dried cum on his tattoo.

"Gross." Harry said then gagged at the taste of his breath, "even worse." Harry quickly climbed out of bed and headed straight to the bathroom. He quickly wet his toothbrush then slathered toothpaste on it and brushed his teeth then his tongue twice to get rid of the taste in his mouth. After that, he turned on the shower and waited for the water to heat up before he stepped under the spray.

Louis woke up to the sound of vicious teeth brushing and rolled over to see Harry in the mirror's reflection. He stared at Harry listening to him brush his teeth then he had to hide his laughter when he heard Harry gagging as he brushed his tongue. He stared at Harry's bareback and ass as he bent over the sink to spit out the foamy toothpaste. Louis grabbed his phone off his bedside table and scrolled through social media as Harry got into the shower.

He laid there for a while until he heard Harry's shower turn off then watched him leave the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. Louis climbed out of bed then headed to the closet where Harry was going through his clothing options.

"Morning handsome." Louis said smiling when Harry looked over at him with a grin

"Right back at ya." Harry said stepping up to him to kiss him

"We got any plans today?" Louis asked watching as Harry dropped the towel only to step into black briefs. He watched as Harry pulled them up then watched as he tucked himself into a pocket in his briefs that made his cock shake disappear. "What..wait..what happened to it." Louis said shocked as he eyed Harry

"It's a pocket. It's to keep it from y'know causing an outline." Harry said with a laugh

"Why?" Louis asked

"Because I don't want Harry Jr on the front page of a tabloid."

"Sweetie it wouldn't be a tabloid it'd be a Playboy." Louis told him, grinning, getting a glare from Harry, "sorry. Fine. But find other pairs. I want at least something to grab when you're hard in your pants to tease you." Harry laughed shaking his head

"All the more reason to keep them." Harry said as he grabbed some black pants and pulled them on. He had to adjust himself again and Louis watched, "I have a meeting with Columbia Records at twelve, but other than that I don't have any plans."

"The lads want to go on a triple date, Zayn and Liam, Niall and Monica, Lizzy and Hannah, and you and I. I told them I'll talk to you."

"We can do that. Those are the girls you met at the club right?"

"Yeah, Monica was the one with the birthday the night, and Hannah and Lizzy are the lesbian couple in the videos."

"What time?"

"I think Zayn said seven o'clock."

"Sounds good." Harry said pulling on a pink chain and rope print shirt and buttoning before tucking the ends in. He then pulled his pants the rest of the way up and Louis noticed they were high-waisted women's pants, but Louis didn't point it out and only admired the way his butt looked in them. He leaned over and pinched it getting a slap from Harry on his hand.

"Stop it. I'll go make breakfast and you get dressed. Or don't. Either way, I need to make breakfast because I am starving." Harry came up to him and cupped his face kissing his lips gently

"I want full English." Louis told him

"Your wish is my command." Harry said bowing dramatically before he was leaving the room.

Louis shook his head then went to the bathroom to get ready for the day. After he was cleaned and dressed and his mouth had been brushed twice he went downstairs scrolling through Twitter frowning when he saw the fans telling him to explain a photo. It took a few seconds before he found the photo that the fans were referring to. It was a dropped photo of Harry and Dickhead, but the photo was cropped so that Harry's hair was only barely seen pushed back to it looked like a recent photo, but Louis knew Harry's side profile better than anyone and his cheeks were too rounded to be recent.

"Hey, Haz do you have the full photo of this picture?" Louis asked, showing Harry the tweets, Harry looked away from his bacon turning to look at the phone frowning when he noticed what it was.

"I might in my cloud." Harry said, "my cloud password is in the drawer and you know my phone code." Louis grabbed Harry's phone on the counter then moved to the junk drawer that Harry had full of batteries, guitar picks, old planners, and other random junk that hasn't made it to the trash can two feet away. Louis grabbed the notebook that had Harry's passcodes for every account and looked four the cloud one.

"Do you know the year?" Louis asked

"Probably 2013." Louis nodded immediately going to 2013, "try like summertime...June through August I think. We spent the summer together."

"Found it. I'm going to ruin this man's life." Louis said by sending the photo to him then he got back on twitter and found the account that the photo came from and tagged it as well as Dicky's Twitter account.

@ account134527 and @ ConnorKS

Try again boo. 😘✌🏻🖕🏻

"And post." Louis said grinning as he posted the tweet with the photo of Harry and his hair pushed back from 2013. He was kissing the Twat's cheek and in the background, you could also see it was before the Wizarding World of Harry Potter had been opened for the public because they were standing near the closed-off section for construction.

"I'm sorry-"

"Sweetie don't apologize. He got a false sense of hope from your management and now he's mad you picked me over him in his head at least. It'll die down or I'll make it die down. You may treat people with kindness, but Tommo doesn't." Louis said, setting their phones down, "besides you can't blame the man you are very good looking. I'd torment you too if you upgraded."

"I don't think there is any upgrading from you." Harry said as he pulled Louis in front of him between his body and the stove, "I love you." He said kissing his neck as he turned the sausages

"I love you too." Louis said leaning his head back against Harry's shoulder, "is your meeting in person?"

"No we're meeting on google duo, they're with Sony Music, but it's a different section so we just have to talk about music and image and such."

"Sounds very boring."

"It is."

******

Louis had his MacBook opened glaring at the screen, he and Little Dick were fighting on Twitter. After Louis tweeted the real photo from 2013 Little Dick tweeted another photo of sweet innocent Harry laying on a tattoo chair getting the swallows tattoo. The butterfly stood out against the pale skin Harry had back then. So Louis had replied to the tweet,

@ account134527 @ ConnorKS thanks for being there for Harry as he got places to hide my live bites Boo.

And well apparently he didn't like that so he leaked a picture of him and Harry in California at the Hollywood sign. So Louis replied

@ account134527 @ ConnorKS wooooow you took him to a place he sees on his back patio every day when in LA...impressive. 👏🏻👏🏻

And thus it began. Louis didn't even know why he was arguing with an ex, but he was. He was very secure in his relationship with Harry so it wasn't out of insecurity, but whatever the reason Louis was winning the fight and everyone knew it.

@ account134527 @ ConnorKS the fact that you had to make a fake account just to leak photos of you two together...👀👀🙊

@ account134527 @ ConnorKS the fact that management made you believe Harry would choose you over me despite the way you treated him is fucking hilarious...

@ account134527 @ ConnorKS boo the shit I have on you... let's not go there.

@ account134527 @ ConnorKS coincidence?

Louis attached a video of "Dirty Little Secret" playing on the tv. The tweets stopped soon after that so to celebrate his victory Louis posted a short video of him and Harry a few nights ago dancing to Macarena inside the pool laughing their asses off with the words 'Look at my darling baby❤' in the tweet.

"Are you done arguing with Connor?" Harry asked laughing as he came inside from his meeting

"I think so." Louis said looking at Harry, "I won."

"You won before he even knew there was a competition." Harry told him wrapping his arms around his waist

"Oh I know that, but he doesn't have a right to expose your relationship like that."

"It's fine. The fans suspected back then, but he didn't want to be in the tabloids dating me so we kept it quiet. I'm surprised you didn't expose him for...what did you call him? A manipulative abusive little dick asshole?"

"Manipulative abusive little pecker loose asshole cheating twat." Louis corrected

"That. Yes. I'm surprised you didn't call him that."

"I almost did. I typed it a few times at least. If he responds that'll be my next tweet. It'll shut him up." Louis said, grabbing Harry's hands, "you should let me paint your nails. You have perfect nail beds. Lottie would be jealous."

"You paint mine and I'll paint yours."

"Deal. I'll go to the shops to get polish. Be back in a minute."

*******

Louis grinned as he followed Harry through the crowded rooftop dining area.

"There they are." Zayn said standing up when he saw them

"Hi, sorry traffic was horrible." Harry said hugging Zayn and Liam before leaning over to hug Niall and Monica. "Hi Ni. Hi Monica, it's lovely to meet you."

"Hi, Harry." Monica said excitedly as she hugged Harry, "hi Louis." She said, stepping over to hug Louis, "saw that fight on twitter."

"Yeah, we were just being told about it by Monica. Possessive much Lou?" Liam teased as Harry greeted Hannah and Lizzy with hugs as well

"I have no reason to worry, I just don't like him." Louis said with a shrug, "Haz is mine and if he wanted that shrimp he'd have cheated when given the opportunity enough times."

"If I wanted him I'd have stayed with him." Harry said kissing his temple, "now do we have wine coming, or have we not ordered yet?"

"Not yet we just got here not that long ago and decided to wait for you." Zayn said as they took their seats it was a square dining table with two seats on each side. Louis and Harry were sat across from Hannah and Lizzy while Niall and Monica were sat across from Zayn and Liam.

"Do we want to share mozzarella balls for an appetizer, Lou?" Harry asked

"Of course Darling." Louis said, "what are you getting for the main dish?"

"I think the chicken shawarma in their Mediterranean section." Harry said

"Ooh yeah, I saw that. I was thinking of the eggplant rollatini."

"Wanna split?"

"Deal."

"Hello I'm David and I'll be your waiter today. Are we all on one check or separate?" He asked looking around the table

"We are separated into pairs. So them two, those two, these two, and us two." Louis said pointing to each couple getting the man's attention who nodded.

"And what can I get for you?" The man asked, eyeing him and licking his lips though Louis had turned away from him and hadn't seen it though he turned when he spoke.

"Oh, ladies first. We can wait." Louis said before turning back to Niall, "are we doing anything after this?"

"We talked about going to the club if you guys are up for it."

"Can I pick the place?" Harry asked

"Yeah sure." Niall said

"Lou?"

"I'm down if you are."

"Alright. Who is our designated driver?" Harry asked looking around

"I can. You got a vehicle big enough for all of us?"

"Yeah, we can follow back to my place and get the SUV." Zayn nodded, "we can all stay there tonight I have guest rooms."

"And for you?" The waiter asked after everyone ordered looking at Louis

"Oh we will have the fried mozzarella balls as an appetizer and for the main dish I will have the eggplant rollatini." Louis told him

"Perfect. The eggplant rollatini is my favorite." He said, Louis, nodded and looked at Harry who looked highly amused.

"I will have the chicken shawarma." Harry said closing the menu

"Will that be all for you?" The man asked barely acknowledging Harry as he looked back at Louis

"Yeah, that's all thank you." Harry leaned over and kissed Louis' cheek laughing when the man turned away with more hip movement than necessary.

"Is there anything else I can do for you." Harry teased leaning over

"Absolutely anything." Liam said batting his eyelashes

"Please sir I'm all but stripping for you." Niall said laughing

"Stop it. It's not funny. What kind of guy does that in front of someone's boyfriend even." Harry laughed squeezing his thigh as he leaned over to whisper in his ear

"Do you think he'd get the message if we snog?" Louis laughed turning to Harry to whisper in his ear as well

"He'd probably get hard. Best not risk it." Harry laughed nodding as he squeezed Louis' thigh before pulling away. The rest of the dinner was filled with laughter, storytelling, many wine glasses, and delicious food. There were also pictures as a group from someone's phone as they all huddled together when Lizzy pulled out a selfie stick from her purse.

"Why do you have that in your purse?" Louis asked

"Never question what is inside a lesbian couple's purse." She said as she extended it then took the phone as placed it on the holder. "Now huddle together everyone. Harry, stop looking at Louis and look at the camera. We already have photos of you two looking like sappy teenagers." Louis laughed as he looked at Harry who was staring at him with a grin. Louis leaned over and kissed him ignoring the groans from the couples.

"I got an idea." Niall said pulling his phone out and going to Instagram, he got on Louis' page then got on a picture of Louis standing in nothing but Harry's lilac sweater with his a side profile showing off his ass. "Harry, look it's a picture of Louis ass. Looky looky." Despite the fact that Harry was kissing Louis it actually worked because Harry turned away and looked.

"What?" Harry asked looking around until he spotted the phone with the photo over the phone on the selfie stick.

"Quick do it." Louis tried every hard not to laugh as his boyfriend with eyes glued to the photo. Harry grinned as his hand went down to grab Louis' cheek squeezing it. It didn't last long, only enough for two photos then Harry was looking at him again.

"Smart man you've got there Monica." Hannah said

"I just know Harry's weak spot is Louis, but if Louis beside him he needed something stronger." Niall said looking at Harry and Louis who were back in their own world talking with each other, "besides everyone loves Louis' ass."

"Thanks. You get the tip baby and I'll pay for this." Louis said taking the bill the waiter was handing out to the respected couples. He opened it just to make sure it was the right one before he kissed Harry and pulled his wallet out. Harry pouted but pulled out his own wallet and tossed two £50 down, "Harold you can't tip more than the bill." Louis said grabbing it and handing it back to him

"Let me tip whatever I want mister bill payer." Harry said putting down two hundred just to spite Louis

"Harry, he was rude the entire time to everyone except myself and completely ignored our relationship. I am not letting you tip him two hundred just because."

"Louis he could strip for you and I wouldn't care because you're still coming home with me at the end of the night so I win. Now let me tip him." Louis huffed rolling his eyes as he pulled out a £50 and a £20 and put it in the billfold. He flipped the receipt over and wrote,

"You're lucky I'm not in charge of the tip and my boyfriend is a kind person. You were an ass all night. I'd have given you the minimum 10% and be done with it. In case you don't know math that's a fiver and some change. Be kind to people and respect their relationship.

--Louisxxx"

He tossed the black folder down on the table and Monica immediately took it to read it snorting.

"I like the Tommo way." She said as she handed it to Hannah and Lizzy, Lizzy immediately taking a picture of it. She was addicted to her Instagrams they've learned over dinner, because yes she has more than one account. One for her personal use and one for her photography that she does on the side. They stood around waiting for their billfolds and when they got them Louis made sure to count the bills.

"Here have his number." Louis said handing the £5 to Harry who took it then tossed it in the tip pile. There was Harry's two £50, three £10, and now £5. Louis was very tempted to take a 50 and shove it in Harry's pocket, but he wouldn't do that. If Harry wanted to kill them with kindness then so be it.

"A £185 tip, he better use it wisely." Liam said

"Tempted to take the- actually I am." Louis took the five and headed to the table where a little girl was with her family. She had been very eager to ask Harry for a photo, but her parents had talked her out of it to wait until Harry ate his meal. "Here you go, Sweetie. You buy yourself something next time your parents take you to the shops yeah?" Harry said handing the little girl £25

"Really?"

"Yeah. The five have numbers on it, but it's still good."

"Thank you."

"You're quite welcome. You deserve more than our waiter does and you were very polite to wait to ask Harry for a photo so you definitely deserve it." Louis was taken by surprise by the hug the little girl gave him, but it was a nice surprise that he returned before heading back to their table. "You can be mad at me tomorrow, tonight we are clubbing." Louis said to Harry as he slipped his arms in the jacket Harry was holding for him.

"I think you're petty in the best way, but I'm not mad. I love you and with that comes your sassy attitude. Which I love as well. Besides you made her night." They all headed outside and got in their respected cars and followed back to Harry's place. Harry got the keys for the SUV and they all got in so Harry could drive to the club. It was a bit more upscale as in there was a second entrance that Harry and they took so they weren't spotted by anyone yet then they were led to the VIP balcony with a bar and tables and lounges.

"I'll go get a tab open, what does everyone want?" Harry asked as they sat at a square bar height table, the same seating arrangement from the restaurant. Harry got everyone's drink and went off to the bar coming back minutes later with a tray of various drinks.

"Now you owe me a dance." Harry said pressing against Louis from behind

"I don't dance until I'm drunk. You'll have to keep the drinks coming." Louis told him even if he pressed his hips back against Harry's.

"What's the fastest way to get you drunk?" Harry asked

"Whiskey gets Louis plastered for a week." Liam said

"What about you Styles." Louis said, turning to face Harry as he wrapped an arm around Harry's neck while his other hand held his beer glass, "what gets you plastered?"

"I'm not telling you anything." Harry said, taking a sip from his...slushie.

"What are you drinking." Louis said grinning as he grabbed Harry's wrist and pulled it towards him. He looked up at Harry as he licked the slushie teasingly tasting the refreshing flavor of watermelon with a kick of gin that had Louis grimacing slightly. "Gin. You hate the taste of beer, but you drink gin."

"I like alcohol you can mix with. Watermelon gin slushie and if you lick it like that again we're taking an uber home right now."

"Oh?" Louis leaned over to lick it again, but Harry took it away.

"Stop it Lewis."

"Oh, we are breaking up over that." Louis said though despite his words he still kept his arm around his neck.

"Alright, love birds we are off to the dance floor." Lizzy said, "Liam and Zayn are staying here to watch the drinks."

"You sure?" Harry asked looking at the couple

"Yeah, we're fine really. You lads go have fun." Liam said as he hung on Zayn

"Alright. Have fun. Drink a beer or two lads I've been in the car with you guys after a whiskey shot and we all survived."

"Maybe a beer, but really Lou we went out last weekend just the two of us so we're not in the mood for another hangover so soon. Now go."

"Alright. Come on Haz we can dance with the others."

************

The night carried on until last call surprisingly, despite Liam and Zayn not drinking they joined them on the dance floor every now and again. Louis and Harry were always found with their tongues down each other's throats and a hand somewhere inappropriate. Liam and Zayn had to drag the drunk couples all the way back to the SUV and Louis didn't give a damn that he was sitting right beside Monica. Louis threw a leg over Harry's hip and straddled his lap.

"You're so cute. You're like the cutest little thing ever." Louis said cupping Harry's face to kiss him on his cheeks and lips

"You're beautiful and pretty and cute and adorable and tiny and small." Harry said snuggling into Louis' neck, "you're my best friend." Louis giggled drunkenly

"You're my best friend too cutie." Louis said

"You're my sweet little creature."

"I'm going to puke." Zayn moaned from upfront

"Tell me about it." Monica said from beside them

"I love your voice. You should like become a singer. You have such a pretty voice." Harry said

"Wait Louis sings?!" Monica, Lizzy, and Hannah shouted

"He sings to me when he wakes up first." Harry said, "he's so precocious. I love him." The car ride to the house was with Harry proclaiming his love for Louis every five seconds. They all stumbled out and Zayn and Liam helped everyone to guest rooms while Harry and Louis hurried to the bedroom locking the door behind them as they struggled to undress then climb into bed together.

"Be the big spoon." Harry said, pulling Louis against his back, "I like being the little spoon."

"My giant little spoon." Louis said affectionately kissing Harry's bare shoulder

[i-can-get-extra-with-my-ships]

Have a very sad plot twist to Dear Evan Hansen.

(This thought came to me in the shower)

Quick little bit of background that goes with this...

Conner and his mom had an amazing relationship

but he kept it a secret.

So she was a little more than surprised when she found out about this secret e-mail account.

She kept to herself.

She knew that if Conner was close enough to someone to have a conversation with them where he wasn’t rude then he’d most likely open up to them.

So. What if...

Conner really WAS gay.

Only his mom knew.

In the e-mails when Conner and Evan were writing “BUT NOT BECAUSE WE’RE GAY!!!” and “THE ONLY MAN THAT I LOVE IS MY DAD!!!”

Conner’s mom knew that it was fake.

She knew that Evan was lying.

But she didn’t want to believe it.

She was still heartbroken over the loss of Conner.

She chose to believe it.

She wanted her son back.

She couldn’t have that.

So she just went along with Evan’s bs.

She believed the fantasy because she knew that it was a way for her to grieve.

If you look at it that way it made what Evan did even more disgusting.

(Disclaimer: I love DEH. I love all the people who have worked on the show. It’s one of my favorite musicals. 

But we can’t just turn a blind eye to the fact that Evan manipulated a family’s grief, got a girlfriend out of it, and practically joined said family. All because he didn’t want to tell them that he wrote the note that Conner had in his pocket.

That’s fucked up. 

This is just a random thought I had that makes what Evan did worse. That’s all it is.)

[daisyxbuckley]

Only Human//Mitch Rapp Series

A/N: HOLY FUCK YOU GUYS. This chapter is like 5K+ words and I am so sorry lol. Also the whole first half is like dirty smut. I would like to thank @cxddlyash for this song here because its what I listened to while writing it. And lemme tell you, its fucking HOT. Anyways you know the drill, love you all 

@xceafh

Description: Ophelia Lane has a past that most CIA operatives would hate to have. The 25 year old is sent back to The Barn to help Stan train the new batch of recruits, including one that is hell bent on getting revenge. Can she keep it together or will a secret that is hidden under the surface come back and haunt her?

Pt1 Pt2 Pt3 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ophelia paced the hotel room that Stan had taken her to in Rome. The plane ride had been dead silent and she refused to look at him the whole time. Anikka was in there with them just watching them but Ophelia didn’t care. She would probably need a witness when she was done with her dad. The pictures of Ronnie over the past two months were laid out on the table in front of her and Stan wasn’t saying anything. 

“How long.” She said quietly as she ran her hand through her hair. 

“How long what?” He asked knowing full well what she meant. 

“How long have you known that my fucking husband was alive dad!?” Ophelia yelled at him. “How long have you known?”

“I just found out when that attack happened in Poland. I noticed him on the news.” Stan said slowly. “I brought it to Irene’s attention and we wanted to be able to confirm it was him.” 

“Oh so Irene knows too? Anyone else dad...is this why you’ve been so fucking jumpy with me lately? Why you didn’t want me on this mission at all?” She yelled. Finally spinning around to meet his face, Ophelia couldn't stop the tears from falling. 

“I was a fucking mess dad. I couldn’t function correctly because I had lost the one thing in my life that I loved most and you kept the fact that he was alive from me.” Ophelia didn’t care how loud she had gotten. She was beyond pissed. Hearing a key card in the door, all three agents in the room looked up as Irene and Mitch walked in. Mitch looked a little worse for wear and glanced between Stan and Ophelia. He could see the pain in Ophelia’s eyes and was wondering what the hell was going on. 

“Ophelia, I know your mad but you know wh-” Irene was cut off as a class flew past her head and shattered on the wall behind her. 

“You know what Irene, you and Stan can go fuck yourselves.” Ophelia said grabbing a key card and storming out of the room. Mitch watched her go before turning back to Stan. The sad look in his eyes was replaced by one of rage as he walked over to Mitch. 

“What the fuck where you thinking. You disobeyed a direct order.” Stan said lowly. Mitch looked at him with no emotion and let him yell. “You almost pulled Ophelia into this shit with you as well when I specifically asked you to get her the hell out of there.” 

“No sir, I made a choice to pursue the target and I completed the mission.” Mitch said crossing his arms as Stan paced in front of him. “And sir, isn’t that what I’m here to do? Isn’t that my job?” 

“Your fucking job is to follow orders.” Stan yelled slamming his hand down on the table. “Your fucking job is to do what I fucking tell you.” 

Mitch’s voice started to raise as he could feel himself getting angry. “Would you prefer I leave him alive than? Let him go, that piece of shit?” 

“Stan.” Irene said finally speaking up. 

“No don’t ‘Stan’ me. Look at that. He said pointing to the tv that showed Mitch on the news firing into the crowd. “That’s the kind of thing that can get us shut down. Kid can’t even follow a fucking order.” 

“Conners got made, Rapp didn’t” Irene said evenly as Mitch watched them both with steady eyes. Stan laughed humously and shook his head. 

“Why does this kid give you such a fucking hard-on?” Stan spat out. 

“Don’t talk to me like that. I am your superior.” Irene said, her voice raising and Mitch realized it was the first time that he had actually seen her angry. 

“Rapp go check on Ophelia. She’s in 406 down the hall.” Stan said his eyes never leaving Irene. Mitch cleared his throat to say something when Stan finally looked at him. “God damn it Rapp, can’t you fucking follow an order for once in your life? Go!” 

Mitch nodded as he stepped back out of the room and headed down the hall. Knocking on the door a few times he wondered if you were actually in there or if you had left, but he could hear your music playing inside. “O...come on I know you're in there. Open up.” He said banging on the door again. Finally the door opened and Mitch’s heart almost stopped. Ophelia was standing in front of him dressed in a baggy t-shirt and underwear. Her hair was wild and curly and even though it looked like she had been running her hands through it too many times, it still fell around her shoulders and framed her face well. Her eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot and had an empty look in them. 

“What.” Was all she said to him. Mitch cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck. “Stan wanted me to come check on you.”

“I’m fine.” Ophelia said rolling her eyes as she went to shut the door. Mitch’s hand shot out and stopped it as he looked at her. 

“Ophelia, I know you’re not fine.” He said quietly. Groaning the brunette finally let go of the door and started walking away. Taking that as his queue to come in, Mitch followed her into the hotel room and locked the door. 

Ophelia walked over to the mini fridge and pulled out a few bottles of whiskey. Pouring them all in a glass she went and stood over by the window and started drinking. It wasn’t her first glass since she had gotten into the room and it wouldn’t be the last. Mitch looked around and saw that her clothes from the mission were piled in the corner by the bed and that she had somehow managed to get 2 full size bottles of whatever was in the mini fridge. 

“Ophelia..what happened out there?” He asked quietly. Moving towards her he put a hand on her shoulder as she took another drink. Finishing off the glass, she sighed. 

“Apparently Ronnie is alive. That was him in the cafe today.” She said quietly. It took Mitch a full second to put two and two together but when he did, he looked down at Ophelia’s eyes in shock.

“Wait, he's been alive this whole time?” He asked. Nodding she walked away from him and started to fill her glass again. “Did Stan know?” Mitch saw her nod again and groaned. That was why he wanted her out of there.

“That’s how he knew we were there. He saw me walk in...but I didn’t see him because I thought he was dead.” she said quietly. Sitting on the couch she sighed. “It’s been two years..two years we thought he was dead and he didn’t reach out. Instead this is how I find him again.” 

“Ophelia, you’re lucky he didn’t slit your throat.” Mitch said as he walked over and sat down on the couch next to her. He put a hand over her as she stared at her glass. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“You know what Mitch...I’m done talking.” She said setting her glass on the table and looking at him. Before he knew what was happening, Ophelia swung a leg over his and sat on his lap. Wrapping her hands around his neck she stared down at him with lust in her eyes. “I’m really done with people trying to protect my feelings.” Ophelia whispered as she leaned down and started peppering kisses along Mitch’s jawline. Moving up to his earlobe, she nibbled a bit feeling his hands grip her hips. “I’m really done with thinking and I want to forget.” Was the last thing she said before coming back and pressing her lips to his. 

Their hands worked in tandem setting the fire off in their bodies. Mitch gripped her hips as Ophelia ground down on his lap, making him moan in her mouth. He moved his hands up the soft skin of her back, inching her shirt up, eventually being able to pull it off and throw it to the side. He realized that she wasn’t wearing a bra and was just in her panties and couldn’t help but stare at how beautiful she looked. Ophelia tugged his henley over his head as Mitch went back to leaving a trail of wet kisses all along her collarbone. The brunette sighed and closed her eyes as she felt his hands go flat on her back and pull her closer. One hand coming around and squeezing her breast hard, rolling the nipple that was hardened in between his fingers. Mitch captured the other in his mouth and sucked his teeth grazing across the sensitive part of her body. The girl had her fingers in his hair and let out a moan at the sensation as well as pulling his head back and landing her lips on his again. Mitch moved his hands down to her thighs as he stood up from the couch and started towards the bed. 

She refused to break the kiss till he laid her down on the bed and stood above her. Mitch looked down into Ophelia’s eyes and recognized the look of pure lust there. His own face probably mirrored it as this had been the first time in a long time that either of them had been touched this way. Undoing the buckle of his belt, he undid his jeans and kicked them to the floor. Leaning down over O, he put one hand on her hip while the other hand supported his weight above her. Not wasting any time he started leaving a trail of kisses from her neck to her shoulders. Ophelia arched under his contact to her skin, pushing herself closer to him and feeling the erection that was showing in his underwear. 

Mitch trailed the kisses down to her breasts, kissing each one before he trailed down her stomach and landing on her hips. Hooking his fingers around her underwear, Mitch slowly pulled them down her long legs before discarding them onto the floor. Kissing back up her leg, he noticed the sharp intake of breath as he started kissing his way up to her inner thigh. Stopping in between her legs, Mitch looked up. “O, I need you to say it.” He said huskily. He wanted her more than anything right now, probably more than air at this point, but only if she wanted it. 

“Please.” Was all she said. 

That was the permission that Mitch needed. He leaned back down between her lefts and traced his finger around her lips. Ophelia moved trying to move her hips closer to him and he obliged. His tongue slowly ran up her slit, tasting her for the first time. She was better than he had ever imagined. The moans that came from her mouth as he worked his way around her made him want to stop and get inside her, but he wanted her to enjoy herself so he waited. Sucking on the little bundle of nerves, Mitch inserted a finger inside of her and slowly started to pump. 

Ophelia couldn’t move. She was pretty sure she had forgotten how to breathe at that point honestly. Mitch’s mouth was probably going to make her meet Jesus and at that point she was okay with that. It took everything in her not to squeeze his head with her thighs, instead opting to grab a fist full of his hair and pulling as she ground against his face. His stubble was tickling the inside of her thighs as he alternated between kissing there and sucking on her clit. 

“OH-Holy fuck Mitch.” She gasped out. She could feel the knot in her stomach starting to form. “I’m close.” She looked down at him and saw his eyes watching her. The primal lust behind them was the thing that sent her over the edge. He could feel her walls contracting around his fingers and smiled. “That’s it baby..let it go.” He said huskily. Ophelia tensed up as the knot in her stomach finally snapped and she had to actually make sure she was still conscious. Grabbing Mitch’s face, she pulled him up to her and kissed him hard. She could still taste herself on him and she moaned in his mouth as his hands tangled in her hair and pulled. Moving down to the waistband of his boxers, she shoved them off as he kicked them the rest of the way to the ground. 

“I need you ...please.” She gasped out as he started sucking on the pulsepoint on her neck. He moved one hand down to grasp his shaft and lined it up with her entrance. Her gasping acceptances was all he needed to proceed. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as he entered her slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. When he was fully in he waited for her to decide if she wanted to continue. The nod from her came and that’s when Mitch lost it. 

He moved at a pace that had her almost screaming. Stars were appearing in front of Ophelia’s eyes as he moved his hips in time with hers, hitting that sensitive spot just right, over and over again. His name fell from her lips like a prayer and she could still hear her music playing in the background. It almost seemed like his hips were moving in time. He leaned down pressing his forehead to her neck as she lightly nipped and kissed the skin on his shoulders. She finally wrapped her legs around his waist and managed to get on top of him. 

Leaning down she put her hands flat against his chest and started moving slowly up and down, moving her hips in a figure 8 as she went. “Fuck O..you keep doing that and I’m not going to last long.” Mitch said as he gripped her hips and closed his eyes breathing hard. The brunette smiled as she bit her lip and continued. Mitch sat up and wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her close as his feet hit the floor on the side of the bed. Ophelia continued working her hips, hitting every sensitive spot inside of her. She could feel the knot forming in her stomach again and knew her walls were about to break. 

“Mitch.” She gasped out. “I’m close.” He nodded his head as he bit down on her shoulder and looked up to her. 

“Same here baby..it’s okay. Let go.” 

When he said that Ophelia couldn’t help herself. The knot broke again and she felt her walls clench around Mitch, sending him over the edge as well. He helped her move and rock as they rode out the high together finally falling next to each other on the bed. Mitch wrapped his arms around Ophelia as she moved closer to him and curled up next to him. They were silent for a while as they both tried to process what had happened. He knew that she was hurting, and if she just used him for sex then he was okay with that. Mitch was starting to realize that as much as he hated it, he was starting to care about Ophelia in more ways than he needed to. 

What he didn’t know is that as she was lying there, using him for sex wasn’t on her mind. She did have feelings for Mitch. What kind of feelings...she didn’t know. But they were there. And as she laid there in his arms, she felt  safer than she had felt since Ronnie died. 

“We should probably go to bed. I know that Stan is going to probably have a coronary tomorrow so we need to be ready for it.” Ophelia said quietly. Mitch nodded, expecting to get up and leave but she stopped him before he got the chance. Wrapping her arm around him, she smiled when he wrapped his around her and they both fell asleep. 

*************************************************************************

The next day they were all out in a busy square across from the bank. Anikka went inside to work her magic as Ophelia had blended into the market that was going on across the street. Stan wanted her to stay hidden as no one knew exactly where Ronnie was and he didn’t want to risk her being taken. Stan knew exactly where she was located in the market though, as did Mitch. 

When the morning sun came through the window that morning, Mitch didn’t want to move. He looked down at Ophelia’s sleeping form and smiled to himself as she pulled herself closer to him. He had managed to get out of bed, shower and get dressed before she had even woken up. Mitch knew if Stan saw him coming out of her hotel room it would not end well for either of therm. Though they hadn’t really had any time alone since then, Mitch would catch Ophelia stealing glances at him and smiling slightly. 

“Why did you lie to Ophelia?” Mitch said looking over at Stan. He could see the man tense as he looked up. “I didn’t lie to Ophelia. I omitted the truth. She didn’t need to know that her supposed dead husband was now a terrorist.” 

Mitch shook his head and opened his mouth to disagree when Stan stopped him. “Lemme ask you something. If you saw that Katrina came back, but was someone that was totally different than who she was, someone like Ghost, would you want to know?” Stan asked him. There was no malice or sarcasm in his voice. No anger. Just a question. Mitch looked down at his hands when Stan asked that, not knowing the answer. But it got the point across. “That’s why I didn’t tell her. She’s been through enough already, that wouldn’t have helped at all. And she needs to stay focused so we can get this mission taken care of.” 

As he said that Mitch spotted Ophelia walking to one of the stalls in the market. She looked like she was trying to figure out what to buy but in reality she had eyes on the scientist that they were trailing. “I got eyes on him. Coming out of the building, the south side of the fountain.” He heard her voice in his ear and smiled a bit. Stan looked at his facial expression and wondered what the hell was going on but he didn’t have much time to think about it. Anikka came and sat down at the table with them and looked around. 

“We are in.” She said speaking of the bank she had walked out of. She had gone inside to place a lock on the systems so they would know when Ghost had money transferred to his bank account. Mitch got up and started walking over to the fountain and held his phone up looking like he was just taking pictures of the architecture when in reality he was taking pictures of the scientists that were coming out of the building so they could scan for facial recognition. Finding the one they needed, Ophelia heard Stan’s voice in her ear telling them to go. 

The car ride was silent as they followed the scientist. Ophelia felt Mitch’s fingers linger over her hand for a bit before pulling it away. “Anikka, Ophelia and Mitch are going to check in. Wait about an hour before following them up to the room. You guys are right next to his for surveillance.” Stan turned around in the seat and locked eyes with Ophelia. She had refused to speak or look at him unless it was needed and now was no different. “Any sign of trouble and I want you fucking out of there. You hear me?” 

“Yes sir.” Ophelia spat as she opened the door. Mitch moved to follow when Stan grabbed his arm. “I’m serious Rapp. You keep her safe.” Mitch nodded getting out of the car and shutting the door. 

The elevator ride up to the hotel room was quiet as Ophelia stared straight ahead. She had slipped back into the wall she had built up because she knew that she needed to focus, it was hard though with everything that had transpired in the last 24 hours. Getting to the room, Ophelia looked around and noticed that everything seemed normal. Mitch pulled out his cell phone and called Stan to confirm everything. While he did that Ophelia went to the shared door and started to feed the camera through. 

“I’m going to go take a shower and get changed. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long night.” She said standing up as she walked over to him and patted his shoulder. The shower was something she had needed, it helped release the tension from the day and everything that was running through her mind. She knew the glasses of whiskey helped lower her guard leading her to sleep with Mitch...though Ophelia knew she probably would of done it even if she hadn’t been drinking. But it didn’t look right that she finds out her husband is still alive and ends up sleeping with someone else. Absentmindedly her hand went down to the chain that used to hang there realizing it was gone. When she had gotten back to the hotel room, she took it off and threw it into the bottom of her bag. 

Sighing, Ophelia turned the shower off and wrapped a towel around herself. Throwing on a long sleeve black shirt and some jeans, she brushed her hair out and walked out of the bathroom, surprised to see Mitch sitting by himself. “Hey..where Anikka?” She asked looking around. 

“Stan had her just stay outside with him. It will be less suspicious that way.” Mitch said gruffly not taking his eyes off the tv. He could feel the tension radiating off Ophelia in waves but he knew that when she was ready to talk about what happened she would. After a few more minutes though, he couldn’t stand it anymore. Facing the brunette Mitch cleared his throat. “I think we should talk about what happened last night.” 

“It wasn’t just some night for me...I know that it seems like that and that I was just trying to shut things down after finding out everything...but that’s not what it was.” Ophelia said quietly. She pulled at the ends of her shirt and refused to look at him. Mitch knew how he was feeling, the guilt of finding out that her husband was still alive then she goes and sleeps with someone else. 

“Look..O I understand okay. And I understand if you need to take some time to sort out your thoughts. You had a lot of shit happen over the past two days and it’s a lot for anyone to handle.” He said quietly taking her hand in his. Ophelia looked down at it and looked up with a soft smile on her face. Mitch carefully leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “I do care about you though...and i’m here for you if you need anything.” 

Ophelia didn’t know how to respond to that honestly. She felt like he had come a long way from the angry man that showed up at the barn and she was proud. Before she could say something though she caught movement from the side of her eye on the tv camera. “Mitch.” She said freezing in her seat. It was Ronnie on the camera. Mitch looked up and instantly grabbed the gun that he had hidden behind the cushion and turned around shooting a man dead in the eye. Ophelia jumped over the back and grabbed her gun from the table right before the side door burst open and someone grabbed her catching her off guard. 

Mitch turned around and noticed that the man had a gun to Ophelia’s head and pointed his weapon at him. “Mitch, take the shot.” She spat out. Hesitating, Mitch tried to think about what to do. If he took the shot then she would die too. “Mitch!” She yelled. Before either of them could do anything two more men came in and Mitch knew that they were in trouble. 

“Get on the ground.” The man growled in Ophelia’s ear. “Well that’s kind of hard when you have me in a choke hold asshole.” She spat out and was met with being thrown to the floor. She saw her gun get pointed to Mitch who dropped his and watched as it was kicked away. 

Mitch put his hands behind his head and watched as Ophelia did the same. They were about four feet apart, and though he wasn’t looking at her he could tell she was tense as a board. Hearing footsteps Ophelia sucked in a sharp breath as Ronnie came into the room. As he looked at both of them Ophelia’s face slipped into the hardened mask that she always wore. Ronnie surveyed both of them as he thought about what to say next. Leaning down in front of Mitch, he kept his voice even. 

“Hurley..where is he?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking abo-” Mitch started to say when he was cut off by a slap. Another one came and Ophelia could see Mitch's veins bulging in his arms as he fought to keep control. 

“Ronnie stop.” Ophelia said. No inflection in her voice or movement on her face but she was scared. Ronnie stopped looking at Mitch and walked over to the girl. Mitch watched as the fear and sadness came across her eyes before it was locked down. Ophelia didn’t want him to know how she really felt. 

"Its been a while since I've heard that name from your lips Phi." Ronnie said calling her his old nickname for her. Ophelia's jaw clenched as she tried to process the emotions running through her. "Where's your dad?" He asked simply. Mitch looked back up and at Ophelia with a shocked face.

Ophelia was Stan Hurley's daughter. And Mitch knew Ronnie could use that if he wanted to. 

“Ronnie you know how my dad is. He doesn’t tell you where he’s going. He just expects you to check in.” Ophelia stared her husband down. Ronnie licked his bottom lip quickly before gripping her hair and hauling her up. Mitch moved to intercept when he felt a gun shoved into his back stopping him in his tracks. 

Ronnie looked at Mitch and a grin spread across his face as he yanked on Ophelia’s hair once more, eliciting a yelp from her mouth. “So not only do you have a new partner..he cares about you too.” Ophelia refused to look anywhere but his face, she knew that he could tell what she was thinking and that scared her. 

“We are partners Ron, of course we care about each other.” She said, her voice barely above a whisper. The last thing she wanted was to have Ronnie use Mitch against her. Ronnie let go of her hair and moved his hand down over her cheek coming to rest on her chin as he gripped it hard. Pulling her closer to him, he brought his lips to her ear as she closed her eyes at the contact. Two years ago his lips against her would set her body on fire, now all she can think about is how he’s not Mitch. 

“Did he fuck you Ophelia, did you moan his name as he slid inside of you?” Ronnie hissed as he gripped her. “You used to do that to me..remember?” Ophelia could feel the tears building from anger. “Go to hell Ronnie.” She spat out. “You don’t know shit anymore.” Mitch was impressed at how well she was keeping it together, but he also knew that she was close to her breaking point. 

Ronnie knew it too and he used that. 

“It’s surprising how quickly you moved on after I died.” He scoffed. Ophelia had enough at that point. Shoving her hands against his chest, she watched him stumble back and look at her with a smirk on his face. 

“Fuck you Ronnie. You can go to FUCKING HELL.” Ophelia yelled at him. Before anyone could react she shot towards him, swinging her fist and impacting before he could react. When Ronnie caught his bearings he glared towards the woman. His nose was bleeding and his lip was split. Ophelia was standing there breathing heavily, her fists clenched. 

“You had EVERY chance to come back. To come back to me, and you didn’t” She yelled. The pain in her voice was evident. “I watched you die. I buried an empty coffin. I prayed every fucking day that you would be alive and come home. But you didn’t. You turned into this..and that’s not on me.” 

The room was silent save for the breathing from Ophelia and Ronnie. Mitch was trying to slow his breathing and waiting to see what was going to happen next..see how he was going to try and come to her aid if she needed him. He could see Ronnie’s jaw clenching and unclenching. “You're going to regret that you little bitch.” He growled as he lunged forward grabbing her by the throat and slammed her against the wall. Her scream as she hit the wall made Mitch try to lunge towards Ophelia but he was knocked to the ground before he could get to her. 

Ophelia saw him struggling against the other men and tears filled her eyes. She knew they were in trouble and for once she had no way to get out of it. “You always thought you were better than everyone. Always had a mouth on you.” Ronnie said getting right in her face. Ophelia wanted nothing more than to squeeze her eyes shut but she refused to show weakness to him. “You were the reason I got shot in the first place. Always having to play fucking hero don’t you.” He got so close to her that she felt his breath on her lips. “Well now, you’re going to play a part in two more deaths. Your fathers...and your little boyfriends there.” He said squeezing her throat more. Ophelia brought her hands up and started clawing at his arm due to the lack of oxygen. 

Mitch saw her face turning blue and her movements starting to go weak and knew that he needed to do something. The man holding him down had his arm around his throat, throwing his elbow back he managed to get him to loosen up before sinking his teeth into his arm. The man let out a yell as he let go of Mitch and he spun around. Grabbing the guards gun out of his hand, Mitch shot him between the eyes. Noticing another one raising his gun from the corner of his eye he moved and shot him as well bringing him down as well. Looking over where Ophelia and Ronnie were he noticed that she was knocked out and he had her thrown over his shoulder. Ronnie took one look at Mitch and smiled a smile that sent a shiver down the man’s spine. 

“Kill him.” Was all he said to the remaining men as he walked out with Ophelia. Mitch had just enough time to react to the two men that were coming after him. One of the men drew out a knife and charged when Mitch tried to shoot him. The gun jammed and he cursed to himself as he threw it to the side and tried to dodge the knife. Feeling it hit his side enraged Mitch more as he lunged forward. Punching the man in the face he was able to get him to drop the weapon, hurriedly picking it up and driving it into his throat. Before he could turn around at the last one coming to him, he heard a gunshot and looked up as the body thudded to the ground. Stan was standing in the doorway with his gun raised. A hard look on his face as Mitch stood up breathing hard. 

“He’s got Ophelia.” 

[m00nslippers]

So I watched YJ3 episodes 7-9...

Oh, so much to say, let’s just get into it.

So I was discussing with someone how I thought Prince Brion was a convenient character to get naked for fan service and how it would be tragic if they found him clothes that wouldn’t burn and, what-do-ya-know, they gave him clothes that wouldn’t burn, obvs. But on the other hand they revealed a wonderful new potential of getting Conner naked by having Brion burn his clothes. Balance in the universe is restored.

Dick’s whole act and spiel with choosing their codenames was so ridiculous, I was in stitches and just imagined Jason’s voice the whole time shouting, “YOU ARE AN ACTUAL FUCKING IDIOT, AREN’T YOU?” at him. That’s pretty much what I imagine any time Dick does something dumb on screen, tbh. It’s just a rolling litany of Jason MST3K-style shouting insults at everything Dick does or says.

Like can we stop killing Halo? It’s vaguely fetishy the amount of times they’ve done it already, it’s making me uncomfortable. I get that she’s the only one they can get gruesome with to show how edgy the show is without permanently crippling anyone, but have some decency.

Everyone was on-point with suggesting the Goode-Goggles had something to do with Granny Goodness. And this stuff about partnering with the Wayne foundation to get her goggles in meta-youth centers? She’s so planning to mind control the meta-kids.

Helga and Jefferson hooked up. Saw that shit coming a mile away. Kind of makes me sad though, are Jefferson and his wife divorced in the comics? I wish they weren’t here, it would be nicer if they could stay together, IMO.

Okay so why do we have 3 CASSANDRAS now? That’s at least one too many. I was almost horrified for a second there that they were making Cass Vandal Savage’s daughter instead of Shiva’s, and then they showed us the character everyone thought was Cass in the advertisements and they confirmed she was ‘Orphan’ and then Shiva actually showed up in person and I was totes relieved. I don’t know why I used ‘totes’ but I’m keeping it in, I stand by that shit.

We saw Orphan and Spoiler and Tim! (And Arrowette but I don’t actually know who she is honestly). The music they played during their scene was totally funky spy thriller, it was cute. And all I could think of through the whole sequence was that darn meme of Tim with the girls behind him running that says, “Let’s go lesbians!” Goddamn, Tumblr why you do this?!

I was raising my eyebrow a bit with Cass having a sword. Like does she ever use a sword in the comics? I’m sure she probably could but I know she’s really against killing and that’s pretty much all a sword is used for, I just don’t think she would carry one.

Speaking of, when we see a quick flash of two detectives arresting Stagg? That was totally Bullock and Montoya.

That part when they revealed the crazy lady who kept talking about the bear was also one of vandal Savage’s children was really sad for some reason. Like she couldn’t handle being immortal and went crazy and he had to kill her. Like dang, that’s messed up.

Shade is a gay man and nothing anyone says will convince me otherwise. That boy be flamin’. Like, did you hear those sex innuendos? Did you see that fancy hat?

We saw Chesire again! I really feel for her. Also I love her voice actress’s smoky voice and her huge mane of lion hair! She’s so cool.

I’m guessing that crazy white light of Halo’s that got Brion out of his shadow pocket is going to be a problem at some point. Like it will make her insane and want to obliterate the world or something.

That fight with Lobo was awesome, everyone got to show off their powers. Clearly Lobo is just a bad guy the show can throw in at any time through an anonymous contract-kill to create an awesome fight scene because no one can actually beat him, and he just leaves when he feels like it.

When Lobo smashed Forager I was like GASP! NO! NOT MUH BABY! I was like, that better have been a giant pumpkin someone switched out at some point! And then it turned out to be his shed skin and I was so relieved. And we got to see him gooey and pink, aw. And Halo and Brion said Goojie for some reason. Accents, I guess.

The whole meeting between Batman, Robin, Nightwing, Oracle, Aquaman/Kaldur, Wonder Woman/Diana and Miss Martian. It was cool to know they are all still working together, just in secret. They said seven teams though? So Young Justice, Outsiders, Batman Inc, Justice League on Earth and maybe Justice League in Space? Which are the other two? Maybe Justice League Dark? I don’t know about the last one.

And WW is all, “Are you prepared to lie on the stand?!” all outraged-like and the Bats are just looking at her like, “Pff, as if they could get us on a stand. But yes, obviously? Also, most of you guys have diplomatic immunity, being from Atlantis, Themyscera and goddamn Mars, so you better not let them even ask you.” Batman chose his conspirators well, he’s only got people who can lie through their teeth or who won’t force their citizens to stand trial if they beg out of it. He knows what he’s doing, Diana.

We saw a grown up Billy Batson! WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS!?

That playdate, though. Someone actually asked Will what the deal was with him and Artemis, and he started stammering and I’m hoping it’s not because he’s actually got anything with her or is interested. Honestly it kind of sounded like he was into whoever was asking the question, but I don’t think that was it either cuz I’m pretty sure she’s still married. Just please let this not be Hamlet-style, get with both siblings. Will, don’t get with both sisters, just don’t do it.

We saw Jon Kent! Future Super Sons is a go! We have Jon and Conner in the same world too, I want to see them be big and little bros so bad! It would be so cute.

THE KID THAT POINTED TO BUMBLEBEE’S STOMACH AND SAID WITH A TOTALLY GROWN MAN’S VOICE, “YOU GOT A BABY IN THERE!”

Like, I know Orm is a bad guy but he’s also kind of an Anti-villain, isn’t he? I’m not sure how in-character it is for him to say he’s going to kill off like thirty kids and their parents just to fuck with Aquaman.

Shiva confirmed. Totally running the League of Shadows. Also, Deathstroke is part of the Light, did we know that before?

So yeah, really looking forward to next set of episodes! I hope we see more of Tim’s team in particular.

[thequlturecritic]

QULTURE’S TOP 20 SERIES OF 2018

20.  BUSY TONIGHT

You guys! Good energy is, like, totally in right now. And it’s never going away. You may know her from Freaks and Geeks, but I know her from Cougar Town as CC’s fun-loving, super-supportive sidekick. When you watch Busy Phillips on her cheeky, positive-vibes only E! talk show, a sense of “we’re all in this together” and “being kind to one another” is definitely a recipe for demolishing disaster. Remember how major Chelsea’s career became because of what so many probably considered a silly little talk show… well. I’m not a fortune teller or anything, but I could totally see Ms. Phillips taking over the universe. I want to be one of her minions. Cheers to another leading lady of late night! 

19. THE VOICE

I’ve always been anti-reality competition shows when it comes to singing, only because I’m a total snob when it comes to what I subject my ears to. My musical tastes are versed and varied, but I still am pretty picky about who I let in to my drums, mostly because I need it to stimulate an eargasm and coincide with my life’s soundtrack. When American Idol launched, I definitely was enamored with Kelly Clarkson’s powerful vocals, but I still kept the close mind that an artist is discovered naturally, not “created” by producers with the backdrop and illusion that AMERICA gets to vote and pick the winner. Ah, who knows, maybe they do… I would just never take the time out to vote. HOWEVER. When I found out Kelly was going to be a judge on The Voice, which is a whole separate animal than Idol, I was shitting my pants with glee, because she really is such a goddamn force of fucking nature. Her spirit is overwhelmingly angelic and I simply love everything about watching her. Last season’s competition was magical, at least for me, perhaps because it was the first time I really got to experience the message and place the show has in the universe. It really is inspiring and lovely to see how much these artists themselves care for the teams they build and the individuals they want to see grow – regardless of whether or not it leads to fame. Alicia Keys and Kelly Clarkson’s dynamic was really something special that inspired me in so many ways.

18. COMEDIANS IN CARS GETTING COFFEE

I love nothing more than a loose format, sans makeup, realistic conversation between famous people. Talk shows rock and all, but there’s something to be said for two people we all know and (often) admire, getting together and doing something that, ya know, regular people do! Like… go out to breakfast. I was never a fan of the Seinfeld sitcom, mostly because when it was popular it was kinda over my head and nothing that interested me. I’d probably be more inclined to watch and enjoy it now because of how much Veep has made me adore Julia-Louis Dreyfus and now much Jerry Seinfeld’s Netflix series about him… getting coffee… with comedians… has made me adore his admiration for vintage cars, honesty in humanity and one of the most important things we all seem to forget sometimes – which is to LAUGH! We live in such politically charged times, and while I get how important it is to talk about the very things we were always brainwashed to believe were impolite to talk about, we also need to be able to make jokes and not be so sensitive about everything. Ya heard?

17. AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL

Oh how I love me some Tyra, but it seems the future is all about Ashley Graham. Yet again – another fucking beautiful superhuman. I am really starting to hate that people even think of someone as “plus size”, but hey, it’s the world we live in. All I see when I look at her is someone with a whole lot of personality, gorgeous features and a personality that you’d be crazy to not gravitate toward. She is living proof that good vibes, energy and kindness (in the fashion industry?! How dare you!) go a long way. Tyra and Co. are doing such a bang-up job sending young women empowering messages about feeling safe in their own skin by infusing all shapes, sizes, colors and archetypes. This cycle was full of hilarious moments and was totally unpredictable. Despite her Trump-loving, Republican ways and complaining about being transformed into a “fire-crotch”, I was rooting for Liberty, Rio and Jeana to compete in the Top 3. That certainly evolved as the season went on, mainly because Jeana’s insecurities were getting the best of her (she had alopecia and they convinced her to be the alien-like, bald beauty – which she looked 10X better as vs. wearing wigs) and Rio had the most off-putting temper tantrum that had me and my bestie Carlee yelling at the the TV, “Who da fuck you think you talkin’ to?!” as if we were speaking for Tyra. Be humble, girls! Beauty ain’t just skin deep. At the end of the day, I loved seeing Kyla take the crown, because her activism, big heart and growth really was something special at the end of the day. Keep up the good work! I want 1000 more cycles.

16. SWEETBITTER

Starz’s adaptation of the best-selling novel by Stephanie Danler is short, but bittersweet. Ella Purnell is a breakout star, headlining the cast of unknowns who are all as equally as fantastic. I think that’s one of my favorite things about it (Caitlin Fitzgerald, in particular, who definitely has that thing) – how naturally gifted the entire cast is. Purnell stars as Tess, an All-American girl from bumfuck who makes her way to New York City to chase the dream, even if she has no idea what it is yet. Any of you who have worked in the service industry as a waiter or waitress will appreciate the authenticity of how intimidating, grueling and chaotic the industry can be… but how much fun it can be once your shift is over.

15. MANIAC

What is Netflix’s limited, vivid, disturbing, funny, emotional rollercoaster about? My brain is exploding from trying to analyze. Typically, in each episode, I get so lost in the perfection that is Emma Stone, I’m completely enthralled by how inspiring it is to watch one of our most exceptional young talents only seem to get better and better. It’s also always a pleasant surprise to see someone like Jonah Hill continue to prove himself as truly versatile. Remember when these two were just getting into stoner cinema and taking over the shelves at Blockbuster, during their Superbad days? Justin Theroux, plus. Sally Field, super-plus. Julia Garner (also of Ozark), a star on the rise! It might make you feel a little crazy while watching, but hey, we all go a little mad sometimes.

14. SHARP OBJECTS

Gillian Flynn’s book to big screen success with Gone Girl made a lot of us anxious to see what would be translated next. Following the trend of mini-series, binge-worthy greatness and big stars coming to the “small” screen, HBO announced Amy Adams would star in Sharp Objects, a dark, sultry murder mystery set in the swampy south that co-stars the amazing Patricia Clarkson – one of my absolute favorite actors. I’ll never forget when I “discovered” her, in Lisa Cholodenko’s High Art, one of my all-time faves. There’s a similar hypnotism with the limited series which also features a deliciously naked Chris Messina, and, of course, the direction of the man I’d say is pretty much cinematic perfection these days – Jean Marc Valee. If you have not yet seen Dallas Buyers Club, and another all-time favorite of mine, Wild, you are missing out. I’m assuming you have watched all of Big Little Lies once or twice, and can’t wait for season two next year. Neither can I. These are the people doing AWESOME awesome things in Hollywood.

13. AMERICAN HORROR STORY: APOCALYPSE

So, I’m always back and forth with AHS. I always love how visually stunning it is, but some seasons either lack substance or are literally just too fucking freaky for me to engage. I can not even set my eyes on Freak Show, thought Cults was too gory and scattered (although fresh off of the Trump presidency was a possible prediction of the future if we don’t all get our shit together) and definitely didn’t even give that Roanoke one a chance. The first two seasons rocked, and Gaga slayed in Hotel, but being that I love witches (Hocus Pocus, Witches of Eastwick) I have to say Coven is my favorite season. I love every Farmiga in life, Precious’ Gaborey Sidibe always makes me laugh and Emma Roberts is a rock star. How gorgeous?! She’s also such a little asshole in the best way. She’s someone I can picture punching me in the face, and I’d invite her to. Apocalypse is the best infusion of boy/girl magic and the ultimate comradery casting wise – as what could make for a perfect finale for the series ties all of Ryan Murphy’s brilliance together. That’s just my opinion – because I think a great series needs to know when to wrap it up, but these days everything is all about milking everything to the last drop, so… idk.

12. THE CONNERS

Roseanne returning was definitely the best of the best in reboot land, until her big mouth got her fired from ABC and launched The Conners, which features the entire cast minus a dead mother. I still respect her as an artist and will always love when TV wasn’t so linked to the Twitterverse, but these days I guess everyone really does have to be super careful about the shit they say – especially when we should know better that racism isn’t cool. It’s such an odd thing, because Roseanne was always so controversial, brave with their material, and was one of the first shows to have an out lesbian comedian/actress and character (the great Sandra Bernhard)… so… idk. That Sarah Gilbert though… she’s somethin’ special.

11. THE GOOD PLACE

Kristen Bell!!!!!!! That’s all. Ok, well, that’s not all… because Ted Danson is equally as amazing. Who wouldn’t love someone married to a dame like Mary Steenburgen?! I’ve been a fan of his since Three Men (and a Little Lady!). The diversity, quick wit, modern spin on the classic sitcom and concept behind this hit NBC series reminds us of why the network is always killing it when it comes to delivering quality, quantity and maintaining its colorful edge. I’m surprised I didn’t get into this show when it premiered, as season 4 approaches and the Globes, and surely the Emmy’s now are getting into recognizing genius when they see it. This show is filled with all the good feels! Maybe Heaven really is a place on Earth.

10. WILL & GRACE

When the reboot of W&G first returned to NBC, I was a bit underwhelmed by some of the writing. It seemed forced and a bit insecure – but it just took a few episodes for them to really get back in the swing of things and season 2 of the return is really on point. Debra Messing is better than ever (congrats on a Globe nomination!), as are Eric, Megan and Sean Hayes – who I’ve always greatly admired because of, what I like to consider his “big break” – the film, Billy’s Hollywood Screen Kiss. Growing up gay, Will and Grace was a trailblazing, extremely important and relevant show to so many of us because there wasn’t much of that on TV. But I’ll always remember that adorable indie of Sean’s. He should make more movies! I love him in Pieces of April too!

9. I LOVE YOU AMERICA: with SARAH SILVERMAN

Sarah has always been my absolute favorite comedian. Jesus is Magic is probably one of the most brilliant stand-up comedy feature films I’ve ever seen (are there many of those) combining music, comedy, political satire, sexually inappropriate and explicit linguistics… nothing is off limits. From jokes about AIDS, Martin Luther King Jr. and the Holocaust, to her dead grandmother’s rape to pussy jokes about child lesbians she’s related to. On her new Hulu series, Silverman takes a tour of the great country we live in, United States of A, talking to Trump supporters, men and women of all colors, shapes and sizes and makes an honest, unbiased, non-judgmental effort to deliver an intellectual perspective on all things current and heated in the minds of many. I love her condescending approach, ability to keep her cool, remain true to herself and do something important with her career. It’s a humbled and divine dose of reality that I think we all need, as at the end of the day she’s basically trying to unite us and get people to understand that despite our differences, respect and kindness can truly inspire change.

8. POSE

First of all – watch Paris is Burning, if you’ve never seen it.

I remember when I worked for the super cool East-coast indie video chain, TLA Video, it was one of the most popular rentals in our Gay and Lesbian section, as it should be. It’s a classic documentary that captures the heart, sole and strut of African American LGBTQ culture during the AIDS epidemic, when being a queen and going to the balls would begin to define what FIERCE meant for a generation. (Play: Azealia Banks, Fierce). It’s one of RuPaul’s favorite movies and certainly inspiration for Ryan Murphy’s vivid and heartfelt FX series starring Evan Peters, James Van Der Beek, Kate Mara and a wonderful assortment of newcomers including the fetch, fierce, versatile and gorgeous MJ Rodriguez, Dominique Jackson and (MY FAVE) Indya Moore.

7. CAMPING

Ever since 13 Going on 30, I’ve known Jennifer Garner was a unicorn. She has that innate ability to charm, impress and entertain us with charisma and natural comedic talent. When it comes to the American adaptation of the Brit series Camping, developed for HBO (in part with Girls’ master Lena Dunham), the team surely arranged the most perfect blend of talent for both behind and in front of the camera. Garner brings the most complicated and hilarious nuances to her character and proves she is more than capable of leading a most diverse and perfectly perfect blend of talent.

6. OZARK

Janet McTeer!! OMG! This woman is amazing and really the force that makes the sophomore season of the hit Netflix drug smuggling/money laundering/gangsta livin’ series all the more bombastic. Sure, Jason Bateman continues to be awesome in every way, but the women on the latest season (even the creepy old meth lady who wants a baby at 99) really slay and own the show, keeping us on the edges of our seats and beyond impressed with how hard anyone with a vagina is proving that they are taking over the world these days. As if we needed more reasons to be obsessed with Laura Linney – she takes her character to new heights, getting more screen time and really being thrust into a more evolved dynamic – sort of how Robin Wright does on House of Cards. As though the audience was more drawn to the female than the male lead the series was built around. But Janet McTeer?! Holy fuck, Janet McTeer. She’ll make your skin crawl and keep you up at night… binge-watching.

5. THE AFFAIR

Showtime’s scandalous, suspenseful and intricate portrait of love, marriage and infidelity has been one of my must-see series since its debut. The entire cast is pure magic, especially the four leads – Dominic West, Ruth Wilson, Maura Tierney and Joshua Jackson. I’m constantly lobbying for Tierney, who continues to blow my mind with everything from those perfect, pouty lips to the way she can make my heart melt with a single tear. Last season, the twists and turns were so unexpected – something so refreshing these days when it comes to storytelling – that none of us could’ve ever seen coming what we now have to go into season five knowing (and grieving with, in my case). This is one of of those shows that stands tall from start to finish, and continues to inspire the way character and perspective is conveyed, as well as how we process it ourselves as an audience. I’ve always been fascinated by the same story being told through different goggles – kind of like in The Rules of Attraction, or Go. I can’t wait to see how this show wraps up, as I am pretty certain we move into the final act, which in itself is always a great quality for a series to know when to wrap it up.

4. HERE & NOW

Alan Ball, oh how I love thee. In the evidence of his brilliance, my affection toward Ball’s beautiful writing and ability to conduct such a beautiful cinematic symphony began with Six Feet Under, as it did most. If ever there were a perfect start to finish series… Rare is the artistic bird who can take such a celebrated drama and weave the social and political issues into a horror series – which is what he did with the addictive True Blood, a show that I would find myself equally hypnotized and aroused by. Ball’s latest gem is yet again a celebration of why we love HBO, his observant mind and heart, and ability to recognize genius when he sees it, in regard to casting. The always wonderful Holly Hunter and Tim Robbins headline a cast of brave, beautiful talents – including the tiny miracle that is the birth-child of Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon, Sosie, who is one of my favorite actors/characters in this captivating new drama that celebrates all the feels of our current reality. It’s a mixed blend of understanding the human condition and how people of all walks relate to one another while truggling with matters of the heart and psychological warfare.

3. RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE

For ten seasons now, Queen of Drag, RuPaul Charles has been taking her dynasty and giving it a royal upgrade every season with eye-popping elements that consistently allow this groundbreaking competition series to be one of queer and pop culture’s most celebrated. From the guest judges (Season X premiered with a Farrah Moan-esque Christina Aguilera dolled up for all the queens to gag over, which they did – myself included) to Michelle Visage’s dazzling eyewear collection to the costumes to the casting and the challenges – which get more and more innovative – Rupaul’s Drag Race has become a small empire that has the promise to spinning into so many different types of series and assure celebrity drag careers are a thing of the future, now more than ever. I loved the queens this season, especially my future husband Kameron Michaels (beautiful inside and out, boy or girl) and the well-deserved winner Aquaria. This was the second season in a row for me (I haven’t seen a lot of the previous seasons) where Ru got it absolutely perfect. I’m also a huge fan of Vice’s The Trixie and Katya Show which you should get into as well!

2. THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL

All of the hype surrounding the Golden Globe & Emmy winning Amazon Prime series starring the incomparable Rachel Brosnahan as Mrs. Maisel, is the type of perfection that isn’t all-talk. Everything you’ve heard about this hilarious gem of a binge-worthy comedy is true: the costumes, the production design, the brilliant performances, directing and top-notch writing is on trend with celebrating everything we love about women in the world right now, and the time capsule reminds us of how far everyone has come marching to the beat of optimism and fighting for equality. I’m so happy the great Alex Borstein has been honored and been receiving praise for her work, and rightfully so, as she steals scenes from the great Maisel herself in the latest season. It’s truly one of the best watches out there, so get into it!

1. SCHITT’S CREEK

What started out as a little Canadian sitcom from a then unknown Pop TV, has since become a pop culture phenomenon and one of the small screen’s most celebrated, quoted and adored comedies out there. In Season four, we continue to follow the Rose’s on their journey of personal growth, going from riches to rags in a small bumfuck town where they clearly stick out like a redneck tooth fairy for plenty of good reasons. We already knew Catherine O’Hara and Eugene Levy were totes brilliant, but every season I grow more and more enamored with how crazy talented Dan Levy & Annie Murphy are. Their nuances, the way the arcs of their characters have evolved… it’s like their learning from two comic legends and its working for them every step of the way. This is truly already an iconic, feel good show that is spreading such messages of love and beauty throughout society. Loves it!