#When basically everything is out to get you because you are both Grisha and an amplifier plus immortal as well then it’s not that easy

[glitter50000]

I've been thinking a lot about Baghra recently, and have come to the conclusion that I don't think she deserves all the hate she gets. Sure, she's manipulative, sure she's gruff and an awful bitch. But Baghra always does what she thinks is right, no matter how hard it is for her, and I think people miss how incredible this is. She loves her son, and maybe she doesn't express it well, but she does love him, she loves him a lot, and it's a miracle that she does. She's been through so much, lived for so long, been so alone and so traumatised that it's a wonder she isn't killing everyone left, right and centre like the Darkling is. People make so many excuses for her son, but none for her, and he had it infinitely better than her. He grew up with a mother who canonically killed people for him, and who's sole reason for existence at one point seems to have been his survival. He always had her in his corner, fighting his battles throughout his childhood and adulthood and right up until he tries to enslave Alina. And yet people make excuses for him and none for Baghra. Her own mother thought she was a monster. Her father was an obsessive madman, and she killed her sister by accident, watched her be brought back and 'killed'. She nearly died in the forest, and then her mother disappeared. She had no one. No one was ever there to back her. No one to comfort her after a nightmare, no one to protect and love her. All she had was herself. She spent goodness knows how long after that all on her own, as a young, untrained Grisha in a time where Grisha were despised and hunted. Who knows what she went through during the long, long stretch of time between Morozova's martyrdom and Alexsander's birth. It certainly won't have been pleasant. She had a son, and, from the darkling short story, her life's work from that point on was his continued survival, and the fear she's shown as feeling for the entirety of his childhood must have been crippling. Especially when his gifts emerge as her own. Especially when she sees her Shadow Summoner son is revealed as an amplifier. Was the interlude with Annika an isolated incident? How many times did she watch her son nearly die, and how many times was she almost too late to save him? Is it any wonder she spent so much time keeping him alive that she never quite managed to be soft and warm and loving? Do we even know if she had ever been loved? Where would she ever have learned to express and communicate love? And then, the son that she lived for, that was her driving force for so many years, goes and creates the Fold, uses the same dark magic that took her father and sister from her. She doesn’t kill him, notice. If she was indeed the cold, borderline abusive mother everyone displays her as, she would have killed him, or done something to him that would have stopped him doing anything like that again. Instead, she trains his army for him, teaches the Grisha children who grow up in safety as she and her son never had the chance to. Baghra stays. She may not be kind, or warm, or the image of a perfect mother. She is what the world made her. Grisha. A soldier, a survivor. She may not display her love for her son in embraces and soft words, but she kept him alive and mostly unharmed. Her human amplifier, shadow summoner, Grisha son, when Grisha everywhere were hunted down and murdered. Even when she knows her son is lost, she can't fight him. She sends Alina away, foils and frustrates his plans, but doesn't hurt him. She lets him blind her. She kills herself rather than raise her hand or her power to harm him. Maybe Baghra is less than perfect. Maybe she isn't the image of an angelic, long-suffering mother. But don't you dare tell me she didn't love her son with everything that she was. Don't tell me she wouldn't give everything for him, because she has demonstrated time and time again that she will. Baghra is a struggling single mum who never had a moment's love in her life and never learned to express love, but still dedicated her life to protecting her

son. I will literally die on this hill.

[aleksanderscult]

Today I will rant about Malina

Because this ship tried to be passed on as an ideal relationship to have.

*spoiler: it wasn't*

Malina is a ship that was shoved down our throats throughout the trilogy. Whether you shipped it or not you were bound to read about it in literally every other page.

And what are the negative aspects of this ship?

Literally EVERYTHING.

Let's start with Mal. The number 1 asshole in this trilogy.

And yes he is the number 1 and not Aleksander since Aleksander was a character with a goal. He had a grand plan that exceeded selfishness and pure evil and he used any means necessary to fulfill it. But Mal? Remind me, what was his plan?

Well, at the start of the trilogy to fuck around girls and then, when Alina began to feel something for someone else, to undermine her, latch on her and chastise her. There you have his role.

The minute Alina started having a life of her own outside his influence, the little jerk felt overlooked and his pride got hurt.

It's evident that Alina felt quite unseen from Mal in the beginning. He flirted and fucked girls right in front of her face (since she very clearly knew) and he even stopped hanging around with her as much as he did in the past.

Quite a start.

And then when Alina found her strength, happiness and place in the Little Palace he got offended. Why isn't she tortured as the rumors had said? What are these clothes that she's wearing? Why is she happy? And, most importantly, WHY IS SHE HAPPY WITH ANOTHER MAN??

Alina at that moment felt like she was walking on eggshells around him. She didn't know what to say without provoking him further. And when she found her voice, the little prick got all puffed up and left without even apologizing for ruining her nice evening.

Then we have Mal not talking to her as if it wasn't his own decision to abandon the army and follow her and again made her feel bad for even mentioning the Darkling.

It appears that Mal had no problem when his best friend bullied Alina but went actual feral when a (powerful) guy showed interest in her. Insecure, aren't we Mal?

In the following books we have Mal being okay that Alina doesn't use her powers and therefore being weak.

We have Mal being more concerned if Alina fucked the Darkling than being tortured by him. Apparently he wanted her virginity for him, I don't know.

We have Mal acting like crazy because Alina decided to return to Ravka to lead the remaining Grisha. But what about him?? What about his needs?? And what if he decides not to follow her? What will she do then?

(people call the Darkling manipulative but let me show you another person that you overlook as manipulative, my friends)

He gets angry when she hesitates to kiss him and again makes her feel bad about it. And how does he respond with that?

Revenge!!✨✨

Kisses Zoya, a woman he fucked before, and then threw the blame to Alina ("at least she doesn't flinch when I kiss her" "why do you care? You don't care about me anyway") Gaslighting at its finest form, my friends! 👌 Knew that she would be hurt, knew that she had feelings for him and still did it.

Oh and let's forget how he wanted the good, old Alina back! The sickly one that always depended on him for company and strength. He basically asked her to tear out a piece of her soul! 🥰🥰

And then, of course, jeopardized both her image and her safety by getting drunk and getting into fights (*whispering* we, the readers, are supposed to find this very romantic, okay? A man that drinks, sulks and makes the heroine feel bad. Just so you know).

Then the author made a 360° and presented Mal in R&R as changed and a very good person. Willing to die heroically for his love. How did she do that?

💕💕With zero development!!💕💕

One minute he's up there in the chapel being a jerk and the next minute he's underground and changed. I think it must have been the change of air, what do you think?

I have a huge problem with Leigh Bardugo about this. She presents Darklina as toxic. And it is. She presents Nikolina as little to zero toxic. And it is. But when she presents Malina, it's a really good, cute ship!! Not toxic at all with lots of possibilities! Leigh has constantly defended it saying "Oh but Mal was a teenager".

Ma'am? I was a teenager once and I never made my best friends feel like shit.

And as have everyone said before, Mal hits veeery close at home. He's every jerk that you have met in your life and you will meet again.

With Darklina you have nothing to fear. Because no one will put the collar of a magical stag around your throat, no one will have a nichevo'ya bite your shoulder, no one will ask you to abandon your friends so you can save some Grisha from the persecution. But plenty of men will slut-shame you for what you're wearing, plenty will feel insecure for being stronger and more famous than them, plenty will make you feel like shit for finding happiness and plenty will sabotage you by taking revenge kissing someone else.

Malina is a ship that is REAL.

While Darklina is your typical, fantastical ship.

Her hard efforts to pass it on to the readers as something healthy and inspiring is disgusting and makes me hate it even more.

Now from Alina's perspective things are even more tragic, since Alina never grows as a character because of him.

She always thinks "What about Mal? Will Mal follow me? What if he doesn't? It's my fault. It's all my fault. Where is Mal?".

This is it. This is the trilogy in a summary.

A heroine that seems more concerned about Mal than the country and people that expect from her to save them.

"Alina doesn't want a crown. That's why she left"

Girl, I don't want to go to work every day either.

Kids don't want to wake up to go to school.

People don't want to pay taxes every year.

But we do them because we MUST.

Just like Alina should stay, lead and rule because that's what she should do as the protagonist. Not pass on her own duties to others and say "gotta go lolz". Malina could be used as a plotline for Alina to gain strength from by casting aside Mal's influence and finding her own power inside herself. Instead Leigh did the opposite: stripped her powers (her own self) to fit in Mal's world.

And this excuse that the author had given ("some women don't want to wear crowns") is pathetic and idiotic.

Frodo didn't want to carry the Ring but chose to do the right thing. Harry didn't want to fight a war with a psychopath but did because it was the right thing. The Pevensie siblings didn't want to fight the White Witch and rule a country but did both because it was the right thing. Every hero in a proper story does the right thing. He or she becomes selfless and sacrifices his own happiness and well being to stand up against the evil and corruption.

In the trilogy instead we have Alina who had a responsibility and duty but unfortunately for Ravka and the Grisha she was not a responsible person but a girl that wanted to depend on a man. She didn't want to use her influence to protect her people but hide.

Apparently the "evil villain" understood the assignment better than the author ever did.

Alina never grew as a person or as a character. It was only Mal and Mal. If only he had stayed dead in R&R then the world would shine brighter. But no! The author brought him back and gave us an explanation with how that happened that I still don't understand because it doesn't make a goddamn sense.

I guess the easy explanation is: "I brought Mal back because Alina had to end up with him somehow. Deal with it."

And we just have to accept this (just as Alina did) whether we like it or not.

Well I don't.

Because I've met people like Mal and they're assholes. They want to be the strongest one in the relationship, they want their girl to look up to them and depend on them and when they make mistakes it's none of their fault.

Because I've met people like Alina that try hard to please their man while in the meantime they "crumble down" emotionally and feel insecure. They never shine with their own light but seek only the one that their toxic partner can give to them. Without it they're lost.

Because I've met couples like Malina. And it's never a happy relationship or has a happy ending.

And when you try to pass on this relationship in fiction as something healthy, then you really need to reconsider.

[sleepingdeath-light]

what kind of dad he’d be hcs ; zeke yeager

requested by ; anonymous (10/10/23)

fandom(s) ; attack on titan

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; zeke yeager

outline ; “Hello! Can I request a dad headcanons (as in reader is his kid) about Reiner or Zeke [you can do both of them if you feel like it] (AoT)? What kind of father would he be and how would he deal with being a single parent. Those dudes have some issues, so I'm curious how that would impact their parenting styles. Have a nice day or night!”

note ; very shaky characterisation as i haven’t written for reiner before — also this spans from pre-rumbling to just before his death

warning(s) ; canon typical references to violence and angst, but mostly fluff!

though he is a notably ruthless and cunning tactician on the battlefield, when it comes to his role as your father zeke does his best to be just about everything his own father wasn’t — sometimes this translates to his patience when helping you learn about the history of your world or another fundamental skill, and other times this means him greeting you with warmth and affection after a successful mission with his fellow soldiers (giving you all of the attention he was denied growing up… or, well, as much of it as he can afford to give due to how all consuming his role can be)

when he’s out on missions or training it’s his grandparents that take care of you, making sure that you’re well loved and supported as you learn and grow as a person — they’re also the ones that keep track of any milestones you reach in his absence so that he’s able to quickly get back up to speed whenever he comes home

every second that he has to spare is spent doting on you: playing games together, helping you with your homework, helping you read that new book he bought you, eating together as a family, and giving you every little gift he collected on his missions away — it’s hard to find something that’s not charred and broken after he’s attacked a town, but he somehow always manages because in zeke’s mind you only deserve the best

he deals with an immense amount of guilt for bringing you into a world where you’re seen as a threat for your heritage and while he does go through a period of deliberation just after your birth, in the end he still decides to go through with his plan of sterilising all eldians — he loves you, adores you even, but he’s well and truly set on doing what he perceives to be the right thing for all of humanity… even if it means negatively impacting you in the process

zeke is all too aware that his time on this earth has been massively shortened by his adoption of the beast titan form, and naturally he started putting in measures from your infancy to ensure that you’d be well taken care of after his inevitable death — he arranged for his grandparents to formally adopt you and take you in, starts writing letters to you in his free time for all of those milestones he’s going to miss, sets aside some clothing and other items of his for you to keep as reminders of him, and even goes and gets a formal family picture done when you’re old enough to remember it

he doesn’t talk to you much about your grandparents, diana and grisha, but you learn the basics from your great grandparents — who they were, what happened to them, and what their relationship with your father was like (of course zeke leaves you a letter with a full explanation about your heritage to read once you’re old enough, and he’s long dead, but for now all you need to know is the ‘who’ and that they died a long time before you were born)

of course he isn’t perfect and, as much as he tries to emulate the positive example set by his grandparents, there are times when he makes mistakes and lashes out at you for something you’ve done (usually interrupting him when he’s in a meeting or doing something dangerous without realising just how risky your behaviour was) — in those moments he’ll scream so harshly that you can’t help but be terrified, and the moment you start crying and he notices it you’ll see him freeze as he snaps out of his anger before he goes to comfort you and apologise

he refuses to be like grisha

he’s extremely protective and secretive about you and isn’t above threatening or killing people that try to leverage your existence against him — in fact he’s so keen on keeping your existence as his child as much of a secret as possible that there are only a small handful of people that know about you (namely your family — including eren when zeke was trying to get him to sympathise with his cause — and a few of his most trusted fellow warriors)

[ryuichirou]

Replies

A couple of replies with fandom stuff, then a couple of twst replies.

irregardlessly-tish asked:

A friend message me "YOU FOLLOW THE LEVI X GRISHA PERSON" and I had no clue what they were talking about but then they showed me the two pictures you drew of Levi and Grisha lol. It made me laugh a lot. Then I helped them found the uncensor version of one of the drawings in your pixiv since the link to twitter seem to be broken (I'm a great friend I know/j). I guess you could say they are big fans of your rarepair work!

LEVI X GRISHA PERSON AAAHH 😭 It’s always so funny to learn how people are referring to us; I was the Zevi artist, the Shroudcest artist… For some reason, being a Guriri (wow Grisha’s and Levi’s shipname is cute, I completely forgot about it) artist feels like such a high honour lol Especially because I had no idea there was someone out there invested in this ship. Your friend’s taste is excellent. A huge thank you to them for enjoying our stuff, and a huge thank you to you for helping to find the uncensored version. You really are a great friend hehe.

It’s honestly a shame that even the pixiv version is still censored (albeit not cropped like the tumblr version), because you can’t really post uncensored stuff there… So now only a few people who had saved our snk smut back when it was posted on our now-deleted twitter have it :(

(it’s a bit embarrassing looking back at those sketches and seeing all the mistakes though, yikes)

Anonymous asked:

I want to shake antis by the shoulders and scream at them all the time cause I see them being sooo unhealthy with themselves, and I've BEEN there I know what they are doing and I know it is just going to get them hurt with the same train wreck I got myself in!!

It's the whole problem with black and white thinking where you go "people treat incest shippers like satan himself, so I cannot accidentally enjoy it or I would be evil incarnate too, and adopted/step is the same thing, so I cannot accidentally like that, and found family is basically the same as adopted, so I have to avoid that, and character A called character B his bro one time, so..." that thinking pattern does not have a stopping point!!!!!! It is so unhealthy!!!!!!!!

And then people realize they can't stop themselves from enjoying unhealthy ships, and instead of separating fiction from reality, they just excuse everything abusive about the ship like it is fine and normal behavior because they cannot accept themselves enjoying something that is remotely problematic. It is so much more likely to get people hurt than just enjoying the porn of some fake brothers fucking 😭

Anon! First of all, sorry for replying late; we received your ask about a week ago but I didn’t have enough time to properly address it. Second of all, thank you for talking about it and sharing your experience.

It’s just like you said; people really don’t want to get ridiculed or hated, especially younger people, therefore, they are afraid of liking stuff that is even slightly problematic. And for some of them, if they don’t want their so-called friends to suspect them loving problematic stuff, they’ll act even more aggressive than they should to overcompensate. I feel like when it comes to antis who talk about us specifically, the most vocal and persistent ones are those whose friends called them out for following my accounts or liking my drawings. And this is honestly both sad and pathetic at the same time; I cannot imagine how bad of a headspace this might be. I don’t pity them though lol

We always talk about it, but still: this is a game you can’t win because the rules are always changing. The only thing that never changes is that there is no nuance, once the crowd decide that the ship is bad, it’s bad. Starting out with the basics, age gaps and incest are bad, right? Right. But what if the characters aren’t canonically related but could be interpreted as brothers? Then it’s still bad, right? But what if they aren’t at all brotherly, but one of them expressed that they want to do bad things to the other? Sounds bad, right? And thus, the only type of dynamic that exists is a romanticised version of a perfect gay couple: they are equal in every way, they love each other, they are SUCH DORKS together who fit perfectly to any “redraw this as your ship” meme that’s the hottest thing these days, they don’t have arguments, they don’t have misunderstanding and rough moments. Their personalities, everything that made their relationship unique or interesting completely disappears and smoothes out, and after that it’s not even a ship, it’s just a nice blend that is perfect for consumption because it doesn’t irritate your teeth, your throat, or your stomach. It’s tasteless, it’s boring, it’s nothing, and it’s not about the characters, it’s about deciding which two characters are unproblematic enough to be transformed into blorbos, and if they have some problematic elements in-canon, it’s okay, we’ll just erase those because being unproblematic doesn’t really matter. What matters is to act in a way that doesn’t go against what the rest of them are doing, because otherwise you’re making people uncomfortable, and if they are uncomfortable with you, they feel morally correct for attacking you.

It’s never about characters. It’s always about control, about cliques, about bullying and making everyone afraid to have an actual opinion. It’s about instilling in people’s mind that attacking strangers on the internet makes you a cool person because you are simultaneously a rebel for being so ballsy and brave, and a saint for having moral standards so high that you can’t stomach bad things even if they are fictional.

Sometimes people just have different ships and that’s okay. Sometimes people don’t have any ships and don’t understand the shipping culture, and that’s okay. What’s not okay is to feel entitled to this control over the way others consume media and interact with it.

Because it makes the fandom experience boring at best and unbearable at worst.

Sorry, I digress lol What I wanted to say is that you are right, it messes with people’s brains. And it is much more unhealthy than fantasising about the things that are 100% fictional (which is, by the way, a huge part of their appeal).

Anonymous asked:

just wanted to say I love your content a lot, it's a breath of fresh air from all the anti content present in the fandom

You are very welcome, Anon! And thank you so much for your support <3 It means a lot to hear that our stuff is refreshing to you.

Anonymous asked:

Is Lilia sneezing on people on purpose, or is it a sneeze button for him?

(this is related to this post)

We’ll never know, Anon, it’s one of Lilia’s many mysteries…

Maybe it started out as a joke, but then he really began to sneeze on people every time his nose gets booped lol

Anonymous asked:

Where can I see the art for the new Shaftlands event?

I don’t think all of them are fully out yet, but people are pretty active on twitter, so simply looking up characters’ names is probably going to work!

Anonymous asked:

…Quick, someone bully Idia into sending nudes.

And be quick about it because Idia could also quickly change his mind and hack the recipient’s phone to delete the pictures!!

[helenvader]

"Now... you know sacrifice."

"Beyond everything you've ever known."

This scene takes place where LUDA died.

Why did he never try to tell her about it? I know, because the writers didn't write it. But it makes no sense. Everybody WOULD try to explain.

...

Tamar is so annoying. And she doesn't even look like she belongs to the show, she looks weirdly modern?

...

Plot armor in the interior fight with the shadow monster was incredibly strong...

...

"Let me carry the hatred of this world." - ok, at least SOMETHING. But Alina doesn't get it. Of course.

Why couldn't they make him sympathetic BEFORE his dying scene?

...

Not the meadow again...

...

Sasha is dead for a minute and Alina already used merzost. Notice that he didn't use it to resurrect the woman he loved when he created the Fold. He used it so as to SAVE GRISHA. He used it for others. She used it for herself.

...

"I don't want any heretics to find his body and make a martyr's relic of it"

WHAT? She's such a self-important bitch. He ASKED you to do it. You have to twist everything, don't you?

...

How can Kaz know poetry that Tolya quotes? Do they teach it on the streets of the Barrel?

...

Genya really was reduced to a victim. But is David dead? People killed by the shadow monsters do not disappear. He might be alive. And I hope he is!

...

"You both have every right." What bloody right do Zoya and Genya have to burn Sasha? Burning him is not revenge, it's what he bloody wanted to avoid his body to be misused.

I feel so sad for him. Finally. Finally something made me feel something.

...

Oh no, a speech? Please no.

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Fjerdans looking at the Fold that is no more. Yay! Now they can enter Ravka from anywhere.

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Ha! A bee! Ha!

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Isn't a privateer basically a pirate licensed by the government to capture enemy ships, allowed to keep the spoils in return? Why do they need one?

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No. Don't spoil Kanej. Taken out of the book context, what Inej says sounds like she only cares about the physical part of love. :-(

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Mal being Sturmhond is like Dread Pirate Rogers from Princess Bride. 🤣

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Oh I see, privateer as in "spy". Maybe slaver ship hunter, too? I can accept that!

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Mal in teal frock! 🙃

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Ah, yes. Slaver ship hunter. I do like that!

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How can King of Ravka give pardon to a Kerch prisoner?

Except it didn't work anyway.

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The Apparat!

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Sobachka is a monster, as expected. :-(

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Alina *so* doesn't deserve Nikolai.

...

Enter Zoya and Genya, the new nobility as it seems. Including shallow conversations. Oh wow, a refuge. That has been done before, hasn't it? Oh, but that doesn't count. It was evil when Sasha did it. At a much higher risk.

Doing away with coloured keftas is important, yes.

So Shu Han is suddenly just "estranged"?

WHAT DRUGS DID THE WRITERS TAKE?

...

Triumvirate indeed.

...

Isn't the Lantsov banner light blue? But maybe it's just a coronation thing.

...

Jurda parem.

Impressively gory.

Alina, that was some smirk. Not walking the same path as Sasha? Just look at your face.

A great ending. Too bad so much of the show was meh.

[sublimepenguinpeach-blog]

To be a Grisha chapter 2

How the hell did they get to seemingly defeating the darkling to making a deal with a pirate who is entirely too pompous based on what his occupation is which is stealing from people basically.

Wait Hold up,

Let’s do a short recap shall we? Alina and I were evaluated and the test results came out normal for the both of us which was a big relief at the time and that relief lasted for about 14 years but then all hell broke loose the moment we joined the expedition through the fold because Mal had to be the big hero in the expedition and because Mal was going meant that Alina was going with him which always leads to her dragging me along with them into whatever mess they get themselves into. Alina was a map maker while I was a teacher. I would teach the soldiers’ children while most of the soldiers on base just followed orders, order others around and looked pretty. Many people asked me was I shocked that my best friends is the sun summoner and my answer remains the same. I always knew Alina was special and when it came down to it, she is the one who will truly make a difference in the world not me. For a time that fact killed me inside because it meant that I am a nobody and Imagine being a nobody and having a best friend who was most definitely a somebody. That is one of my biggest insecurities that I am nobody and who in their right mind would ever love a nobody. The other two is afraid that people will find out that I have autism which will lead them to treat me differently and my body is another tough subject for me to talk about. I hate my body. I am not thin or fat or normal. I am curvy which is another curse put on me. Enough about that though. After that we met General Kirigan or rather the darkling who I was captivated by at first but he had his sights on Alina because why not? She’s beautiful, thin/skinny, powerful, kind, emotionally strong, loyal, brave and has luscious dark hair while I have an hourglass figure I suppose, snarky, sarcastic, picky about things, funny, loyal and caring. At least I have humor which is something that Alina tends to not have usually especially nowadays not that I blame her. He took Alina and even me to the little palace. He was suspicious of me but there was obviously something he saw in me because I know he doesn’t just let any ordinary person in the the little palace. One night, he asked for my presence in the middle of the night which I found rather odd. There he was in his usual color, black. He was hunched over a large map of the world in just a black silk robe but he stood right up the minute he heard my coming in.

“Y/N, I have been meaning to talk to you.” She shyly smiled at him and shrugged , “well I am here”

Always down to business kind of a girl, are you? Interesting, well let’s get down to it then. “What are you?” Y/N is flabbergasted by how blunt and direct he was. She found that it suited him and she liked a man who was blunt and direct.

“General Kirigan, I am just a teacher.” “Nothing more nothing less.”

Please call me Alexander, see that’s the thing though, you aren’t just a teacher. There’s something about you that I can’t put my finger on. He took a step towards me and gently strokes my cheek then grabs my head to kiss me. He leans in and our lips connect. We kiss for awhile but then we finally have to catch our breath. He looks at me and smiles. “Tell you what, I would like you to complete this brief series of tasks for me in order to determine whether you really are “just a teacher.” Our relationship remained flirty with secret make out sessions, flowers sent to my room, and he gave me an emerald necklace for me to wear at the big event where the king of Ravka would meet Alina. A month later, I found out that I actually wasn’t just a teacher instead I am a tidemaker which honestly makes me quite happy since I was always obsessed with water and being in it. He taught me everything he could and I got even better at being in control of my powers. I found out that not only is he the dark heretic but he was also telling Alina the same things he told me which broke my heart even more. Alina didn’t know that the darkling and I were briefly together and she still doesn’t which I would like to keep it that way. It just makes things easier not to relieve that pain. He was the first person to make me feel special. To remind me that I was Grisha, that I was powerful and the first and only person who told me that I can make a difference in the world. He promised me that together we would change the world, that he saw me for who I truly was and would never leave me. The moment I fell for him was when he told me that I was not alone and that I was the light in his darkness. Apparently that was all a lie…

Alina seemingly defeated the darkling after she amplified her powers when the white stag was killed. We found out that the darkling is alive and he now not only has a full army but two shadow monsters which means that we need to find the two amplifiers for Alina in order for her to get rid of the fold and kill the darkling.

This Pirate is very insistent on flirting with every woman it seems since he briefly flirted with Alina with his snarky comebacks and he’s been flirting with me almost the whole time we’ve been in this informal meeting which is basically us commanding him to help us for the greater good.

Y/N looked at this pirate like really looked at him. Blonde curly hair, handsome face, nice body as far she could tell but so far awful personality which is a big turn off.

Sturmhond looked at you up and down a few times and smiled. “Well aren’t you a real beauty, it’s a good thing that you’re not part of my crew because I would never get anything done because I would be too busy admiring you.”

Y/N at first grimaced at that statement because it made her feel things that she did not want to feel ever again. She just smirked at him. “You know pirate, why don’t you just take us to wherever we need to go to find those damn amplifiers. We’ll give you gold which is a thing you pirates tend to fancy so much and then we we be on our merry way.”

He corrected her. “I am a privateer, darling.” “And who said I want you on your what was it you said.. your merry way.” “I don’t want to let you out of my sight. He grinned when he saw her blush.

'Well, you are the one who impressed me tonight with your beauty,'' He remarked. You felt your cheeks warming and avoided his glance at you, which made you shrink from embaressment.

She rolls her eyes. “Whatever, pirate and privateer is the same thing hun. You replied and leaned closer to the desk and you didn't miss the way his eyes trailed to your eyes and then to your lips, making you blush even further.

He smirks at her. “Yeah it’s really not though.”

Just us to where we want to go, we are tired of asking!!

He pretends to be thinking. Hmm last time I checked, you didn’t ask krasivaya.

“ I wouldn't hand the sun summoner over to the Fjerdans, but I said nothing of the Kerch or Shu, I paid a small fortune to empty the dock and make sure you got into my ship.”

Y/N thought of another approach but Alina beat her to it. “You’re right, they are because you’ll be able to ask the King of Ravka for twice as much,’’

‘’You know the king?’’ He asked with a smirk. ‘’I am the Sun summoner,’’ she responded. ‘’By all the accounts, the First Army have now turned their sights on Grisha, thanks to what you and your conspirator did in the Fold-’’ Sturmhond replied before glancing back at Alina behind you.

‘’The Darkling and I were not partners,’’ Alina cut him off. ‘’You may believe otherwise, but once I tear down the Fold and reunite Ravka, the world will see I am not his ally,’’ Alina told him with a firm voice.

‘’Help us, and you will be rewarded,’’ You spoke, making him look at you again.

‘’To tear down the Fold?’’

And how on earth do you plan on making that happen exactly?’’ He scoffed. ‘’By hunting down Morozova’s Sea Whip,’’ You revealed. ‘’Y/N,’’ Mal glared at you because he believed you weren’t supposed to release that information, sucks to be him. ‘’I suppose if the stag existed, the Sea Whip and the Firebird might as well,’’ He replied and looked at you in disbelief. ‘’You couldn’t do it with one amplifier, but two,’’ Sturmhond said and looked at Alina.

Y/N crossed her arms and furrowed her brow. So, will you help us or not?

There’s adventure, danger, money,’’ He spoke before he turned around with a grin on his face.

‘’Now you’re speaking my language!’’

Y/N darted her eyes away from meeting his eyes. “Shake on it?” She nodded her head and shook hands. The handshake lingered on much longer than a normal handshake should but that wasn’t anyone’s business but their own. Y/N cleared her throat. She said “Off to find that Sea Whip which we literally have no idea what it looks like!” She laughed while saying this which caused all four of them to laugh, yes even boring old Mal.

Stumhold just looked at her with adoration in his eyes the rest of the night.

[hypermania]

I can't tell if you liked Shadow and Bone or not and it's killing me lol

i also can't tell if i liked it! i know for sure i liked s1 a lot better than s2. s1 was an interesting viewing experience because i had to adjust to the fact that they really weren't following the books and i wasn't prepared for that. i think what they did with the grisha trilogy worked really well. pretty much every change was for the better. it made the characters more likable which serves the plot a lot better. the crows stuff, however, was more jarring both because i'm far more invested in them and because the changes were bigger and without any obvious payoff. but once i got over the hesitancy of the story being changed it was mostly fine. there were still a few things i didn't like but overall it was like okay i get it. we're moving chess pieces around because we're setting stuff up.

going into s2 i knew they weren't following the books closely so i went in with the mindset of "hey this is its own thing and you should judge it based on what it is, and not what it isn't." and then... they just shoehorned in a bunch of big Moments(tm) from the books that... have no relevancy in the story they're telling?

like what was the point of kaz bringing pekka to his knees begging? pekka still has a crap ton of people loyal to him. he's still running shit from hellgate. there was no emotional catharsis to it. and kaz hasn't built up the reputation of "When everyone knows you're a monster, you needn't waste time doing every monstrous thing" yet soooooooo it kinda just feels like kaz showed that yeah he can figure out what is most important to someone and push that button (figuratively, because he won't actually do the horrible thing) but it ultimately doesn't even matter because... ??? like i don't know why that mattered in the context of the story they're actually telling. it was just a big moment from the book plopped into the show. if they wanted to rearrange the pieces so that pekka would be in hellgate with matthias, they could have done that without using the alby storyline in a place where not only does it not fit, it completely undermines the point.

same with the "i will have you without armor" interaction. i'm not a big fan of that line in the books to begin with. it's fine. i just think there are way more *scream into my pillow about it* moments but i know it's a fan favorite and it feels like that's the only reason they included it. when it happens in the book, it's because kaz hasn't offered inej anything, really. he's asked her to stay in ketterdam but that's the most vulnerable he's allowed himself to be with her. so it serves as like a linchpin for him to do better, sort of? but in the show... he's already told her about jordie. he's already given her freedom from the menagerie and a lead on her family. he's already given her everything except physical skin to skin contact, and so that line just comes across as "you're not good enough because you're traumatized" instead of "we're both traumatized but i want to get better and i won't let you hold me back from that. you have to at least try" so it's... kinda gross?

the jesper and wylan changes are mostly fine but their relationship feels very rushed and i don't really understand what the point of doing that is. like jesper watching wylan play piano and having a moment about it felt like... nothing? because wlyan is just a guy he had a one night stand with. what new light is it shedding on a guy jesper doesn't really have any mis-formed preconceived notions on? and why are they already basically married? maybe this is just a personal preference but that's not fun to me. i am much more interested in watching them awkwardly fall for each other over time than having immediate confirmation that they're a couple.

(also i have a pretty big gripe with the way jesper being grisha is handled. but that's a whole other discussion.)

idk i guess the point i'm making is that s2 felt like a marvel movie. it had a lot of quippy one-liners and Big Emotional Beats that we knew were Big Emotional Beats because there was swelling music and lingering shots but there was no substance to any of it?? none of it mattered in the context of the story they were actually telling. it only matters if you already have a built-in connection to the story via the source material.

that being said: kaz bar brawl and nina spy competence = very sexy. and as much as i just talked a bunch of shit about jesper, he really is amazing. kit young continues to be an inspired stroke of jesper genius. almost everyone was perfectly cast, actually.

there were other things i liked and disliked about it but this is the general gist of where i'm at, i guess.

[maximoffgxrl]

Hello!!

I love your writing so much and saw you were open for requests about the grishaverse so was wandering if you could do a zoya x fem reader? I’m thinking like enemies to lovers where zoya basically hates the reader but there’s a lot of like tension and flirting until zoya eventually confesses feelings. Also like zoya getting jealous at like a palace ball when she sees reader flirting with another man. So sorry if this doesn’t make sense at all but thank you!

All the time in the world {Zoya Nazyalensky}

Pairing: Zoya x fem!reader

Summary: Zoya hates everyone, but she specifically hates Y/N Y/L/N. Or maybe that's what she thought.

Note: Hello!!! Sorry for the wait but I really hope you like it, I had a lot of fun writing this and I'm a total simp for Zoya, I gotta say. Thanks for the request and for the compliment, you're very sweet <3

Zoya Nazyalensky wasn’t an amorous girl. Actually, she was quite the opposite. Zoya was known as a strong, fierce and prideful general, someone you do not want to get in the way, and all the other grisha in the Little Palace knew about that, except for one: Y/N Y/L/N. And because of that, even though Zoya didn’t like most people, she disliked Y/N in a very special way.

Everything about the other girl was infuriating, from the bright red of her kefta to the way she would always respond to Zoya’s remarks with something clever. Her smirk, her arched eyebrows, the tease in her eyes… All those things looked like personal attacks for the general, making her already snarky remarks even worse, but Y/N never seemed to care, always crossing Zoya’s path even if it meant getting out of her own, and today wasn’t any different.

– Good morning, Zoya! - the very well known voice echoed through the hallways of the palace and Zoya rolled her eyes without even bothering to check who was talking. - Made anyone cry today?

– No, but you can be the first. - the general answered, fighting the urge to send the girl flying out the window.

– Aw, darling, we both know you can’t make me cry. - Y/N continued, stopping right in front of the other girl, smoothly resting her hand on her shoulder. - Not in this way, at least…

Zoya could feel her blood boiling as she stared at Y/N. She couldn’t understand how someone could have the nerve to talk to her like this, to look at her with those big doe eyes like she knew exactly how to get to her. But here was Y/N, leaning on her while biting her lip, her oh so pink lower lip that looked so soft and…

– In your dreams, Y/L/N. - she said in the same controlled tone she always used, pushing the girl away from her while trying to prevent herself from blushing.

What the hell was she thinking? Y/N was the most annoying creature to ever exist, she shouldn’t be thinking about her lips. Saints, she shouldn’t even be talking to her.

– You’re always in my dreams, Z. - Y/N said sweetly even though her eyes shined with amusement. - But that’s not what I came here to talk about. The ball tonight, are you going?

– Obviously. - Zoya answered, walking faster in the hope that Y/N would stay behind and gave up, but of course she didn’t.

– Great! So will I! - the girl cheerfully said, her eyes staring at the squaller intently. - Will you save me a dance?

Zoya didn’t even answered, her brain malfunctioning due to that stupid stare from those stupid eyes. She was trying her best to keep her calm exterior and even the smallest nod could break her right now, and the worst part is that Y/N seemed to know exactly what was going on. She laughed and stopped walking, making Zoya believe that she was finally going away, but she was wrong.

– Zoya. - Y/N called, her voice sweet as honey and Zoya knew she shouldn’t stop. Yet, she did it anyway. With a smile on her lips, Y/N simply said. - I’ll be wearing blue.

And then she turned around, going back to wherever she came from, leaving Zoya behind to deal with her own blushed cheeks and erratic breathing.

[...]

Zoya was extremely grumpy when the time for the ball finally came. Thanks to Y/L and her stupid blue dress that she couldn’t stop picturing, her day was a total waste since she couldn’t focus on anything else but the girl. Even getting ready was a challenge, but no one could say that Zoya looked anything but gorgeous. Her dark hair framed her face beautifully and, thanks to Genya, her lips were painted a soft shade of pink, not to mention the silver dress that made her look like a goddess. Zoya was beautiful.

However, she was still in a bad mood. A terrible one, according to Genya, but she couldn’t help it. Blue was the color of her kefta, yes, but it was more than that and Y/N knew it. Blue was Zoya’s color and Y/N was clearly making a statement. She was claiming something and Zoya was afraid of discovering what but, at the same time, the idea of seeing her wearing something that was hers, even if it was just a color, was doing something to her. And she was hating every damn minute.

But she was still the general and Nikolai made it very clear that she needed to be at this ball, so here she was. She could see the King talking with some Ketterdam merchants and Genya was dancing with a shy David on the dance floor, but Y/N was nowhere to be seen. Not that she was looking, of course.

Deciding that she was still too sober to talk politics, Zoya headed to the bar to get a drink but, before she could get there, she saw her. Y/N L/N, with her hair cascading down her bare back, her lips painted a dark shade of red and the most beautiful blue dress hugging her body. She looked like the sky, her silver jewelry shining like the stars and her big smile even brighter than the moon. She was absolutely perfect and she was flirting with a guy.

Zoya felt a weird, ugly feeling spreading through her chest as she watched Y/N smile and lean towards a man she had never seen before just like she used to do with her, just like she did with her this morning, while wearing her tone of blue. If she was irritated before, now she had to contain herself not to throw that ridiculous guy away with a flick of her wrist, but she couldn’t look away either.

She didn’t know what it was, but she couldn’t stand that guy being around Y/N, everything about it just made her want to throw up but it wasn’t any of her business. She didn’t even liked Y/N, right? So she had absolutely no reason to interfere. But when his hand wrapped around the other girl’s waist, Zoya was pretty much done, and so she started to walk in their direction.

– Excuse me. - she said, standing right next to Y/N.

– Zoya! - the girl said, taking a step back and thankfully putting some distance between her and that thing. - You really came!

– I told you I would. - Zoya answered with a smile, watching as Y/N arched her brows in her direction. - Can I talk to you, Y/N?

Y/N seemed to think for a second, her eyes shining like they always had, with amusement and something Zoya could never quite understand. She smirked before asking.

– Why?

And just like that, Zoya frowned. Y/N was always showing up out of nowhere just to talk to her and, most of the time, she just talked nonsense. And now she needed a reason? Zoya crossed her arms.

– It’s private. - she said simply, eyeing the guy in front of them with disgust.

– Oh, really? - Y/N asked, her tone of false innocence not fooling Zoya for even a second. - You have something to talk to me in private?

– Yes, I do. - Zoya said again, her impatience growing. - Can you come with me?

– Sure. - she shrugged, turning back to the boy. - I’ll be back soon, ok?

He only nodded with enthusiasm and Zoya rolled her eyes, taking Y/N’s hand on her own, which seemed to surprise the girl, but the squaller didn’t have the time to think about it now. She dragged Y/N out of the ballroom and into an empty hallway before letting her go, staring intently at her.

– So…? - she asked, tilting her head while staring at the general.

– What? - Zoya asked, furrowing her brows.

– Well, you dragged me all the way here because you said you had something you wanted to talk about with me in private. - Y/N said, a big smirk on her face. - I’m waiting.

For the first time in her life, Zoya didn’t know what to say.

– Oh… - she said in a calm tone even though she was already nervous. - I do want to talk to you. I want to talk to you about… About something the King just told me. He asked me to talk to you, really, so that’s why we’re here. I just came to deliver the news and…

– Zoya. - she called, resting her hand on Zoya’s shoulder for the second time that day. - Stop it. I know you’re very good at talking without having nothing to say, but we both know why we’re here.

– Do we, now? - Zoya asked, slightly confused.

– You’re jealous, honey. - Y/N said with a calm smile, watching as the squaller basically imploded in front of her.

– What? Saints, Y/N, you can’t be serious. - Zoya said while shaking her head, completely incredulously written on her face. – Why would I be jealous of you?

– That’s for you to tell me, Z. - she continued in the calmest way, almost laughing. - Why are you jealous of me?

– I’m not jealous. - Zoya repeated, crossing her arms.

– Well, then I guess I should come back. Elliot is waiting for me and he already asked me to dance, so…

– No! - Zoya said loudly, surprehending even herself. - Don’t dance with him.

– Why, Zoya? - she asked almost defiantly, taking a step forward so her face was mere inches away from Zoya’s. - Why did you really dragged me here? Why shouldn’t I dance with him? Why haven’t you pushed me away yet, if you hate me so much?

Zoya just stared at her, completely speechless. The truth is that she had been asking herself the same questions for a while. Why does everyday where she didn’t see Y/N seem like an incomplete one? Why is she always looking for the girl in the crowd? Why was she so excited to see her wearing blue? And yes, why did seeing her flirt with another person bothered her so much? The answer was right in her face, she was just too scared to own it.

– Because I like you. - Zoya said after a few moments of complete silence, watching as Y/N eyes widened. - I really do. All this time I was trying to pretend that I don’t, to fool myself into thinking that I hate you when the truth is the complete opposite. I really like you, Y/N.

Zoya blurted it all out before she could change her mind, but the lack of response was starting to make her regret it. She took a deep breath, ready to go away with the rest of her dignity, when a big smile grew on Y/N’s face, her eyes shining so brightly in a way that Zoya has never seen before.

– I waited so long to hear you say these words to me. - she said in pure bliss. - I like you too, Z. I fall in love with you every second of every day.

It was Zoya’s turn to smile, and she did. A big, bright smile that had nothing to do with the scaring general Nazyalensky, but everything to do with the Zoya that was in love with the most annoying human on the planet. Her Y/N. She didn’t waste any other second before wrapping her arms around the girl’s waist, pulling her close before closing the distance between them, kissing her with passion.

Y/N tangled her hand in Zoya’s dark hair just like she wished to do for so long, standing in her tiptoes while the squaller hugged her with such strength that she felt her feet start to leave the ground. She hugged her neck, kissing her back hungrily in the way that she longed to for so long. When Zoya broke the kiss, her lips still hovering over the other girl’s, she smiled, and so did Y/N.

– I should have done this sooner. - Zoya said, placing Y/N’s hair behind her ear while the other hand remained on the girl’s middle section.

– Yes, you should. - Y/N stated, holding Zoya’s face with both hands. - But don’t worry. We have all the time in the world now.

[selenestarmoon]

Eren and Cinder: Slaves of Freedom

Many people hate Eren and Cinder to the point that they consider them bad characters and it's one thing to dislike a character and another to be badly written and to be fair, Eren and Cinder aren't bad characters. You might dislike them, very much actually, but one thing doesn't take away the other, they're both well written and I'm writing this because I don't want people to think they're bad characters just because they don't like them.

They both share a strong desire for freedom and in this post I'm going to explore their desire for freedom, why they became obsessed with being free as well as other things they share:

Eren and Cinder suffered since they were children due to situations that were beyond their control. Eren witnessed the destruction of his home and the death of his mother Carla as well as being turned into a titan by his father Grisha and later on he would suffer a series of betrayals and find out that everything bad that happened to him was the product of a war that he did not even know existed and Cinder was mistreated on the farm where she was sheltered until Madame adopted her but this mistreatment went from bad to worse, then Rhodes gives her hope of being free as a huntress but she could not bear the abuse and she kills her abusers and then fights Rhodes and kills him.

Both situations are quite different but the effect it caused on both is practically the same: they hate themselves for their impotence and want to be free because they want to have control of their lives, give meaning to all pain they went through and believe that power and violence is the only thing that can give them what they want. Eren and Cinder are victims of a system bigger than them that failed them and they choose to destroy it but at the cost of being left alone in a toxic and self-destructive cycle.

Basically, this is how they want to be seen by others (powerful and untouchable)

because this is what they really are (pathetic and unsure of themselves)

and they know it better than anyone and they hate themselves for it. They're irrational, immature, angry, cowardly in many ways, yet also a frightened children deep down.

Their desire to be free through violence, to have power, and to have a narrative they're in control of has caused them to enter a self-destructive spiral and ironically they become slaves to their desire for freedom to the point that they lose sight of what that they really want (to be loved) and cut off the few positive relationships they have left, taking them away from what they really want.

Cinder only gets close to others for her own benefit and while she projects onto Emerald and Mercury and feels some affection for them, in the end she chooses to abuse and manipulate them and despite Eren genuinely loving his friends but in turn abusing them, he hits them and forces them to do things they don't want to do, Cinder and Eren both share a main flaw when it comes to their relationships and that is that they're afraid of loving other people, afraid of showing vulnerability, they don't trust others because they don't want to be hurt again. Their relationships are selfish love because they are based on how they feel without taking into account the feelings of others. This is so to the point that they also affect people with whom they have no close relationship because they steal agency because they have been deprived of it.

If you notice, Eren and Cinder seek to have a narrative like the trope of the chosen one: one person is a failure and having a series of horrible things happen to them only to realize that they were special for being the chosen one all along but to Eren and Cinder's disgrace they're not chosen but are a deconstruction of this trope.

Eren experienced a series of misfortunes and betrayals, he receives a power that shortens his life expectancy to 13 years and on top of that the whole world wants to destroy his home because of a war that he didn't know existed but wants to believe that he is the chosen one who was destined to activate the Rumbling and that there was no other solution to save his island. On the other hand, Cinder was abused her entire life and felt betrayed by the father figure who inspired her until Salem arrives and grants her the ability to be a Maiden (which is quite a dangerous position since many seek her power either through the power itself, the relics, or both) being left in an abusive situation with her and Cinder chooses to believe that she was meant to be the one chosen to have the Maiden's Powers.

They seek to be special because they hate themselves and they want power because they want control of their lives. They would rather be monsters that everyone fears

than admit that they're just traumatized and wounded children.

After all, what kind of person wanted to become a monster anyway?

A person pathetically unable to feel good as a human being.

We see that this deconstructed trope, far from being something good and rewarding, is actually dehumanizing. Eren knows that his mother's death was circumstantial but chooses to believe that he caused it and planned it only to feel like he was in control and Cinder chooses to believe that her role as Maiden is her destiny and that she destroyed the kingdom she hated to feel that it was by her own choice when actually everything was planned and decided by Salem.

Eren and Cinder are fascinating because of how contradictory they are, they want to be free but at the same time they want to adjust to a narrative where everything is decided for them. They both think that way because they believe that freedom consists of doing what they want without consequences, but what they don't know about freedom is this:

Here Ezio is explaining the meaning of "everything is permitted" from the assassins creed which is basically the meaning of having freedom. Freedom consists of making choices and taking responsibility for the consequences of those choices, but Eren and Cinder don't make their own decisions and when they do they don't want to take responsibility for them. They want the feeling of power and control that comes with choice, but they don't want the responsibility for it.

Eren knows about the world situation regarding Paradis and he wanted to protect his friends and home but deep down he just wanted revenge against the world and the system that hurt him. He didn't want the world to be destroyed but he wanted to be the one to make that choice.

Cinder knows about the situation of the world of Remnant with the classism and discrimination that she and many others suffered and decided to perpetuate the cycle because she wanted revenge against a system that failed her. She doesn't care about the state of the world but she wanted to be important and Cinder, like Eren, is going to make a choice about the world but in turn she has the opportunity to make a different choice than Eren.

In a sense, Eren represents what could happen to Cinder if she doesn't realize her way of thinking that she has to be the chosen one to prove her worth as a person and not acknowledge her pain and the pain she caused others will get her nowhere. She needs to realize that she doesn't need to prove her worth but to acknowledge that she is already valuable and special just by existing, which Eren failed to do. Eren was called to realize it by his friends but he failed because he prioritize his self-loathing and anger against the world while Cinder will be called (possibly by Emerald and Mercury) to realize this and she will listen.

While Eren condemns himself by wanting to continue with his flaw (being afraid to love others, wanting to feel better about himself by hurting others and being special because his childish delusions of grandeur and his inability to let go of his childish feelings of entitlement) and not being able to grow, Cinder will grow as a person and overcome these same flaws. Both are very related to the final destiny of the world, except that Eren ultimately chooses to destroy his while Cinder ultimately will chooses to save it. Eren's choice was selfish and Cinder's will be selfless. Eren chooses to die because he cannot deal with the responsibility of his choice while Cinder will choose to die to save the world and will hold on to her final choice even knowing the consequences of taking it.

Eren died as a slave to his need to seek freedom and to feel better about himself in a chosen narrative but Cinder will die truly free for the first time in her life by recognizing what she really wants (to be loved, make her own choices and hold on to them with all the responsibility that entails).

[stromuprisahat]

Alina and the Darkling’s interactions, pt. 12

Siege and Storm- Chapter 1

Not only the Darkling has authority, he’s well mannered. He doesn’t need to be loud or violent, yet he’s commanding respect.

I wonder how did he find Alina. It had to be some magic!

Alina, you also thought he’s gonna torture you, when he just wanted to ask about your day. Not to mention calling him void of emotions, so sorry if I don’t take your psychological assessment too seriously... Calling the true Second Army “underlings” also doesn’t make Alina seem like unbiased narrator.

“Even Ivan looked a little ill.” Yeah, bet he was hoping to never see you again...

Of course she doesn’t look well. She barely started to heal after years of suppressing her power and now she’s doing it again.

There’s also the question if she’s not summoning out of fear of getting caught, or of Malyen’s reaction. We know he doesn’t like Grisha, but loves Alina weak and “pure”, and now he’s her only companion. Is it so impossible to summon warmth? Or just enough light to be barely noticable by human eye? There’s always risk for Grisha, but what about the benefits? A little bit of health...

Pretty sure being on the run from Lantsovs doesn’t make him healthier.

“A small price to pay.”

Small price to pay for surviving certain death.

Small price to pay for unlocking a new way to use power that wasn’t given to him (, therefore cannot be taken away on a whim).

Small price to pay for saving lives of like ?five? of his people from the skiff.

Small price to pay for saving lives of his people on daily basis. For nichevo’ya can be used instead of living, breathing human.

He’s literally ripping out pieces of himself every single time he forms one, yet it’s described as unnatural evil, not constant self-sacrifice. (This guy should really work on his boundaries.)

Calling on merzost was painful, like a breath torn from his lungs, a moment of terror as his life was ripped away to form another. Creation. Abomination. But he was used to it by now.

Rule of Wolves- Chapter 33

*singing* That’s ‘cos it’s truuuuuuuuue!

This is the man, who wants the heroine to grow, to thrive. The villain!

The Darkling likes to touch the Collar. Is it possessiveness? Of what kind? Does he touch it like extension on Alina? Is it because he killed it? Because it was his, then hers and now in a way both? Does he feel something, because it’s some Morozova’s mystical creation, and he his heir? (There’s a lovely theory about the Darkling being the true third amplifier...)

Why anxious? Too much talking? Is someone on their tail? Do they have something against the most powerful amplifier being wasted on ungrateful runaway? Do they feel like Darklina should get a room? Different one? It’s not fear of nichevo’ya, they’re not created for another page.

“His answer didn’t matter.” NO, it never did, did it?! Baghra’s claims found their use once again.

The Darkling’s regretting letting Alina close. Wanting did make him weak. Too weak to see her for who she is. Too weak to realize she’s gonna betray him, that she'll gladly sacrifice what matters to him most for undisturbed future of frail existence.

He always puts Grisha and Ravka first. That one time he wanted something for himself was obviously mistake that cost him layers and layers of his plans for better future. Now he knows better. He shouldn’t have gotten distracted by fantasy about companionship. 

Honey, it's not our fault you can't count.

When we see the Darkling use his power (There’s intention, shadows playing friendly cats with the Darkling don’t count.):

Alina’s discovery

The Cut on drüskelle

The presentation to the Tsar

Winter Fete

Malina's capture

The “battle” on the Fold aka Slaughter on the skiff

That's like six...?

... and here they are- nichevo’ya. Creatures born out of desperation.

“... everything I knew about Grisha power”, which isn’t much, but nvm... I’m certain after half a year of basic education Alina’s an expert on such things. (I’m genuinely trying not to be sarcastic.)

Grisha loyalists: Move bitch, here comes the cavalry!

Alina, the narrator: ...the Darkling’s Grisha were cringing up against the walls in very real terror. This was what had so frightened them.

Seasoned soldiers, who have seen slaughters of battlefield and often other unimaginable horrors, are terrified of artificial canon fodder. Well-knowing that could’ve been them every single time nichevo’ya falls.

(I have a half-formed essay about “the gift the Darkling earned on the Fold” somewhere in drafts...)

What about the option that those Grisha might not fear him, but fear for him? Since it’s obvious using merzost costs the Darkling. These are people, who fought wars alongside him. They trust him with their lives and he doesn’t waste them. He protects them. But what if he miscalculates? What if by keeping a few from harm’s way, he dooms them all? What happens if the strain of creating new nichevo’ya proves to be too much? (For world without the Darkling see also: KoS duology, SoC to smaller extent)

How much did the Darkling know about their Tether? The nichevo’ya bite made it stronger- did he suspect? The monsters are torn from his life, they’re his autonomous extension in a way...

Or was the bite simple “eye for an eye”? I have a reminder of my grave mistake, you deserve one too, for fucking with me?

pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3, pt. 4,  pt. 5,  pt. 6, pt. 7, pt. 8, pt. 9, pt. 10, pt. 11

[aleksanderscult]

A follow up to my other question; if we had a sun summoner (basically an entirely different person than Alina) that really was the strong-willed person who wanted to stand by his side and take part in his fight for the Grisha, what do you think he would have wanted that to look like? (And i mean beyond the fold-plot part of the show because we know the plot of s&b and how she messed everything up.) Do you think he would’ve ever allowed the sun summoner to act as a soldier as he had? I think I have a hard time imagining an Aleksander that would allow the sun summoner to go out and be in any possible danger without him present which sounds incredibly limiting to what they’d actually be able to do. I can’t imagine them being allowed to make very many political moves if he got his ruler/queen without his say so and approval, (especially not alina because every political move or even thought she had was actively stupid or the opposite of helpful) so I struggled to understand what he would’ve wanted and expected from them post-expanding the fold. Would a sun summoner with military experience or political experience like himself be able to ever convince him to let them go on military missions by themselves without him? I’m basically trying to understand what we could’ve had he would’ve been like. What would he actually be like if he had gotten the strong-willed, empathetic, political savvy with a functioning brain kind of sun summoner and what Aleksander wanted…and deserved. So much of the character we saw with Aleksander was who he had to be when dealing with someone like Alina, who just couldn’t think for herself, didn’t want to, had no political understanding on the most basic of levels, and didn’t have a spine for practically anything. This isn’t an anti-alina ask, i’m just wondering what type of Aleksander we could’ve gotten with the type of person i described above and what he would’ve wanted from them and allowed them to do. I’m really curious as to what he could’ve been like and truthfully what he had in mind because I struggle to picture what he actually wanted or what he would’ve done had he gotten the type of summoner he deserved

Okay, let's pretend that he got the Sun Summoner that he truly wanted and dreamed of (as you said).

First of all, he would take his time to figure her out. Her views and opinion about him and the Grisha persecution (just like he did with Alina in S&B). Let's say that she passed the test here. Let's say that he found her logical, strong, determined and fierce.

The next stop would be for Aleksander to trust her. He doesn't trust someone easily and he would have to make sure that this girl is worthy of his own thoughts and plans. That would take some time and it would depend on how trustworthy and honest that Sun Summoner would be. Let's say that in time she passed this test too.

The next problem we have is that Aleksander is a controlling person. He wants to have the upper hand on things like ruling, taking military decisions etc. In the beginning, I imagine her taking her with him wherever he would go. Both because he would want to keep her close and out of his desire to teach her things. Like "Look how I'm handling things. Look what needs to be done. Observe and learn". Because I kinda doubt he would ever find a Sun Summoner all ready and knowledgeable about matters of the state like he is.

That's why trust is important for him. Because he would have to make sure that she can be counted on for important things and she wouldn't turn against him or usurp him.

I don't believe that in the beginning he would let her take full control of the kingdom or even an equal stand with him, but! If he saw her ready to fight and take part in wars he would take her with him in the battlefield and, in time after seeing her getting stronger and stronger, he would let her go by herself. Like "We've got a situation on the northern borders. Take one hundred men with you, finish them off and come back." And that's because it would be impossible for him to be everywhere at once. He couldn't be both in the battlefield with the Sun Summoner AND stay on the throne and deal with other, ruling matters. Sooner or later they would have to split and he would be forced to let her go and let her do something by herself. It's inevitable and Aleksander would know that. Sometimes they would need to share the responsibilities. Sometimes Aleksander would have to go to Fjerda to deal with some drüskelle while his Sun Summoner would have to stay in Os Alta because an important meeting with some Kerch ambassadors must take place and other things like that.

Now, about the ruling matter. Yes, he would make her his Queen but for how much liberty and freedom he would allow her to have in making decisions by herself is a debatable matter in this fandom.

Here's my own opinion of it:

In the beginning, if she would try to make a decision by herself, he wouldn't like it. Because he's not used to have others take major decisions (having the King rule him in S&B doesn't count here because in that occasion Aleksander had no other option but to obey him). So, in the first years, it would be kinda difficult for him to get used to it. He would probably not let her decisions be put into action. Like "don't overreach yourself, okay. I'm in charge here".

But! (and this is important)

I don't find Aleksander to be that kind of person who gets crazy feral if his Queen disagrees with a decision of his. If his Sun Summoner spoke reasonably about her disagreement, if she was calm and logical with her own reasons of why she finds his verdict wrong, he would listen to her.

Alina in R&R had said to him that "We would be equals until I disagreed with you. Then you would do to me what you did to Genya."

I disagree. I don't see him that way. Just like I said, if her own argument is spoken in a calm, reasonable manner and in a respectable, honest way, he would actually listen to her. He wouldn't be "OH MY GOD YOU ARGUE AGAINST ME!! DUNGEONS NOW!!"

It's all about the way she'll say it and what is the reason of their argument.

With Alina it was different because she spoke out against him for a matter of high importance: his fight against the Grisha persecution and, of course, Alina's character didn't know shit about politics, wars and what needed to be done.

So, in conclusion, in matters of warfare he would allow her to go by herself if he deemed her powerful and capable to go by herself without getting killed or captured easily and having the right knowledge in fights and strategy.

And in matter of ruling, it would be strange for him if she started and taking decisions by herself from the first week and he probably wouldn't like it. But as the years would go by, I think that not only he would allow her to have a saying but also he would ask for her advice (YES YOU HEARD ME RIGHT).

(oh and about your question if he would allow her to become a soldier: yes. Mainly because all Grisha become soldiers and the Darkling is a man that believes in having fighting skills. Let's not forget how he was teaching Grisha to learn hand-in-hand combat apart from developing their Grisha powers. Plus, I don't imagine him wanting someone that sits on the couch everyday. As much as he would fear for her life sometimes, he would want her to be a fighter)

[love-anddeepression]

saw your requests were open so can I ask for a kaz x inferni!reader ❤ (if it's angst to fluff then y e s) Love your writing AND you <3

Here you go love<3, one Kaz Brekker x inferni!reader coming up! Hope you like it! I made the reader a special type of inferni, like you know normal inferni's need a spark to get the fire going, but reader can summon that shit and like make shapes and other stuff like animals that actually move on their own (Yes I made you epic)

Taglist: @kazscrow

Warning- I made it angstyyy( I don't think this will have a part 2)❤❤

UP IN FLAMES-Kaz Brekker x reader

Being a Grisha in Ketterdam was difficult, being a grisha with anger issues was a bit worse, but being a grisha without proper control of their small science along with having anger issues was bad.

It didn't help matters that you were an inferni. and that you were currently dating Kaz Brekker for about a year and a half.

Kaz had recruited you because he needed an extra member in the Dregs and you had fit the bill, in fact, when he first recruited you, he had no idea that you were grisha. He found out when you saved his life one night by making kebabs out of a few thugs.

That was also the night you both started dating.

He knew you didn't use your powers much, and he didn't care. Honestly, he was relieved. You already attracted attention because you were dating him, he didn't want anymore of it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*

Tonight was an important heist. The team had to steal an expensive necklace that could be sold for at least 100,000 kruge on the black market.

Kaz had this 'fool proof' plan. Jesper would be on lookout, while Inej, him and you broke into the mansion and scour the place for the necklace. Inej and Kaz knew the basic layout of the mansion and they need you to be their lookout.

" Why do I have to be on lookout? You and Inej are amazing at multi-tasking!" you asked incredously.

" Just because Y/n/n. and please, if we see a dog, don't go and pet it, last time you almost died." Kaz replied nonchalantly and kissed your forehead, walking towards the exit of the slat, " I have some work to do. I'll be back, get everyone ready by then."

So here you were, trudging behind them like a spoilt kid, one hand on your gun and the other ready to summon. Just in case.

Today was already a bad day, Kaz seemed distant for a while, spending more time planning with Inej, he always seemed to be going out, again with Inej. You saw a pattern and you were a little worried.

Another thing is that, you were pissed at everything today, you didn't know what was wrong, but sometimes, you flared up, and that was when the fire got a little out of control, forming into little balls and randomly shooting out and burning people.

That was the reason you didn't want to come today. True, you felt a little worried that Kaz and Inej were spending a lot of time together, you trusted them. Inej was your best friend, and Kaz didn't seem so worried when you hung out with Jesper or Rotty.

Here is how everything went to shit.

First, you got distracted by a puppy, you didn't go to it, but it just looked so cute that you couldn't help but stare at it. That resulted in all of you almost running into a guard, and Kaz got irritated and glared at you.

You, already irritated about everything accidently let out a small spark of fire, it didn't hurt anyone, but it startled Inej who almost tripped and fell flat on her face.

That is when shit hit the fan.

Two guards found all three of you and just managed to alert a few others before Inej killed them swiftly and quietly.

However, one of them managed to shoot you in the leg and that was when you lost it.

You let a scream and the fire came.

What was dangerous is that, sometimes, the fire formed the image of a lion and it made grown-men pee themselves and die of shock.

That was what happened today, you screamed and it came.

(honestly tho, that is so cool! This image is not mine, i found it on google, if you know who's this is, please lemme know so I can give credit)

It growled and paced towards the guards, who were frozen in fear, snarling and burning everything in it's way.

Kaz and Inej stared at you, Inej in fear and awe and Kaz in worry and anger, because you were on fire. Literally.

By the time the lion managed to get to the guards, they were dead anyway and it was gone.

Kaz and Inej looked at you, you were covered in sweat and ashes, and the mansion was burning, along with the necklace.

You all ran back the way you came and almost made it, but you turned around, much to Kaz's dismay and irritation.

You had gone to rescue the puppy.

As ran out with it, the mother running behind you, Kaz glared at you and you avoided looking at him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

On the way back to the Slat, Kaz was livid, the heist was a bust, the mansion was crawling with Stadwatch and you were shot in the leg, and carrying a puppy.

Jesper took the puppy and it's mother from you, and headed to his room, Inej went tothe Crow Club for a drink and Kaz literally stomped his way up to his office.

After a few minutes of pep talk you headed to his office and knocked.

" Come in." Kaz's gruff voice was heard. You walked in and closed the door immediately and apologised.

" I'm sorry Kaz."

" Oh what for? After all, you just botched the whole job, almost killed Inej, me and yourself, burnt the mansion, along with the necklace and you almost killed yourself going back to rescue puppies! Nothing to be sorry for right?" he said sarcastically.

" I know I ruined the job, but I'm not going to apologize for rescuing the dogs!" you argued, your anger slowly rising.

" If you weren't so distracted, none of this would have happened!" he rose from his desk.

" You think I don't know that? Of course I do! And I'm feeling damn guilty about it!" you shouted, fire swirling from your finger tips, and your eyes going red.

" WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE INEJ!?" he screamed.

That was it. You immediately froze. Your eyes going back to normal and the fire disappearing.

" What?" you whispered.

Kaz realized what he just said and his eyes widened, " Darling-"

" No no!" you interrupted, eyes glossy, " I get it, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not like Inej. I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I'm sorry for being myself."

" Y/n I didn't mean what I-"

" No!", you let out a sad chuckle, " you know for once in my life, I thought I found someone who loved me despite my flaws."

"I do! I do love you!" he walked towards you.

You shook your head, wrapping your arms around yourself, tears falling from your eyes, you looked him in the eye.

" I guess I was wrong." you walked out and slammed the door shut.

[thedelusionreaderbitch]

Kaz Brekker x alkemi Reader - Strange Truths

A/n: This was so fun to do and me being an Alkemi really was happy with this request! Thank you! I'm so sorry it took so long though!

Warnings: None? Needles?

Request: ok ok so i have an idea- a kaz brekker x alkemi reader where kaz accidentally drinks one of the reader's newest chemical (prolly cause jesper slipped it into his drink) and it makes him super flustered and vv talkative and the reader has to keep him in their lab until they can finish the antidote and kaz tells the reader he likes them right after he takes the antidote so the reader realizes he's actually serious-

I do not own six of crows or shadow and bone or you!

Most people underestimated alkemi's but once they did it once they would not do it again. Kaz Brekker knew that alkemi's could just be as dangerous as a squaller all the way to a shadow or sun summoner if they were powerful enough. To be fair, very few were that powerful but most could kill you slowly and far worse than a heartrender so...

But you were a very powerful alkmei- one of the most powerful to ever live and that was why you are part of the crows. You can fight just fine, but the dregs had seemed to be getting very creative with their ways of killing to getting information and this was all thanks to you.

Though not all appreciated your talents.

Nina has grown up thinking that the alkemi's were weak was a part of those few, Inej just didn't understand you, Jesper understood but was still trying to come to terms with his own Grisha powers, Wylan thought you were amazing and Matthias was just flat out scared.

But that all changed when one day you poisoned a whole army.

Oh, Kaz was just... Happy? No one really knew, but sometimes he just seemed a bit more satisfied about how things were going with you around. Unfortunately for you, that meant he had to spend a bit more time around you trying to come up with more ideas. And that would have been just fine if it weren't for the fact that you were falling helplessly in love with Dirtyhands.

Ya, fuck.

Lately, you had been conjuring up something new in that lab of yours in the basement of the Slat. It was almost like a truth potion but not quite, it was to make it easier to get information out of its victims but not enough to notice.

Officially it was finished and you were going to go tell Kaz but you realized today everyone was going to be at the Crow Club. Just your luck that you hated socializing.

You sigh but you quickly grab the elixir and start running to the Club. Being late to a meeting was never really your foreté.

Finding finally the Crows even with the sea of people around you spot them when you meet Kaz's eyes. Of course, you had to meet his eyes. You go and sit down beside him as everyone had already decided on their drinks.

"Y/n's getting them this time since she's late!" Jesper grins in triumph as you just roll your eyes. It doesn't matter you guessed he was almost always going to be the one late so you figured it wouldn't matter if you had done it this one time. Besides, it would give the sharpshooter (and his boyfriend) a break for once.

Getting up from your seat you walk towards the bar and ask for everyone's drinks. He hands you them and you talk to the bartender as you walk back towards the group.

"I'm your waiter for one time only, don't get used to it."

Kaz just clears his throat and starts talking about a plan that's really in reality just a decoy because of Inej's intel there would be Dime Lion spies in the Crow Club today.

And why not take that to your advantage?

Suddenly Kaz stops talking and you lift an eyebrow at him. He just shakes his head and the others just shrug their shoulders and start a different conversation.

For a bit, you do engage in conversation with the other Crows but Kaz just seemed different? Like he was trying not to burst out talking or something?

"Dirtyhands, you good?"

Instantly his face flushed a bright pink and he stutters out;

"Ya-ya fine. Totally fine, everything's good. Go back to whatever I guess. Just leave me alone and do your work you shouldn't have even asked, so can you please-" He cut himself off and flushed (what you didn't even know was possible) red even brighter.

What the- You always called Kaz Dirtyhands as more as a nickname than a mean term almost like a term of endearment. Although he didn't know that he never had even blinked when you used the little nickname more than necessary so why was he now?

Also to add to that fact, was that you really never called him Kaz. It was mostly to keep yourself in check so you didn't get used to him too much. It was more like reminding yourself that you both weren't on a first-name basis even if you already were.

Narrowing your eyes, you can see that his pupils are slightly dilated and that he's bitting down on his tongue really hard to stop himself from talking. This wasn't just Kaz Brekker flustered, there was something else going on here. And you had to figure at fast before the Dime Lion spies did, or if they already had.

"Brekker, I need to you answer me honestly okay?" You lower your voice and you soften your tone like you would with your targets to get information out of them. You didn't like doing it, but it was the price to pay for his safety.

He just bobs his head up and down trying not to say anything.

"What have you ingested today?"

"Just the drink. Not anything else, being that I forg-" He cuts himself off from his whisper-rant covering his hand over his mouth.

"You haven't eaten today!" Accidently you raise your voice and the anger and concern shine through your usual stone-cold tone.

Kaz widens his eyes and gives you a look to shut the fuck up. He was still the Bastard of The Barrel after all.

Wait, now that you think about it...

You reach into your pocket for your newly brewed elixir and when you take it out it almost confirms it for you.

The lid is open.

Oh, fuck maybe it's better not to cure Kaz because you might just die after this.

It all made sense now though; talkative, flustered, overused & exaggerated facial expressions, looseness of the tongue. Those were all symptoms and you hadn't even noticed.

Well... At least you knew it worked and it was effective. Very effective... Fucking hell Kaz really is going to kill you now.

Grabbing onto his coat sleeve (being extra careful not to touch his skin) you drag him out of the crow club away from the prying eyes of everyone and the shouts of 'what the hell!' From your friends.

Quickly you drag him to the basement of the Slat where all your potions, bombs, machines, elixirs, poisons and most importantly supplies are.

"You can sit there." You point at a chair in the back of the room that basically had a view of everything.

"You better make me an antidote or I swear to-"

You cut him off before he says something he'll regret later. "Go sit your ass down Dirtyhands and let the real Grisha do their magic."

He flushes again and walks over to the chair but not without muttering under his breath how Grisha cannot do magic. And how their abilities work and etc.

By the saints! Now you really didn't want to reverse that chemical elixir, he just sounded really cute. But who the fuck are you kidding? This is Kaz Brekker we're talking about and you just thought of him as cute.

Welp, this is getting interesting.

Quickly you mix some ingredients together trying really hard to go as swift as you can. No one could see Brekker like this it would kill his reputation.

You look down at the antidote and you curse under your breath. This was going to need a needle. Oh fuck, you might as well just die right there.

Hurrying over to your cabinet you quickly go through the vials wondering what size you would need till you found the perfect one. It wasn't very big, and because it was fabrikator made he wouldn't even feel a pinch. But at the same time, it would hold your elixir even if it was a very tiny vial.

"Brekker, your gonna have to put your arm up for me."

You don't turn around knowing that this probably could be your death right here in your lab. At least Kaz Brekker will kill you so at least that's memorable. You sigh, Kaz Brekkers Alkemi was killed by Dirtyhands himself.

"Why?" Most of the time Kaz would just raise his eyebrow at you but because of the fun chemicals that he had in his body that was not the case.

"You might want to roll up your sleeve as well." You say nervously turning around so the needle was visible.

"Because I'm going to have to use a syringe."

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?!"

You slowly walk over and you shake your head.

"Sleeves up."

Kas just grumbles while putting his sleeves up you can tell he's uncomfortable. Now looking back at it you didn't really know how many barrel rats have had needles before, and if they did it probably wasn't good.

"What's your favourite colour?"

He snaps his eyes to meet yours and that's the moment you press the needle in his skin.

As you thought before he didn't flinch but he looked like he wanted to kill you with that stare but his eyes seem to soften with your worried stance.

"It didn't hurt did it?"

Kaz just shakes his head and you sigh in relief. "There shouldn't be any after-effects but I might just check in to see just in case."

He's almost out the door when he stops just at the entrance.

"Your eyes."

You whip your head around to meet his dark eyes.

"What?"

Slowly he comes away from the door frame advancing on you and he shakily takes off a glove and presses his hand against your cheek.

"You asked me what my favourite colour was."

You have convinced yourself that at this moment you have stopped breathing. Nothing else matters but you two of you in this room. The feeling of his hand on your cheek sends butterflies everywhere in you. And you can't stop to think about how beautiful and terrifying those brown nearly black eyes are.

"Boss!" There's a shout from upstairs and he quickly pulls away putting his glove back on.

"So I'll be seeing you around Brekker?"

He rolls his eyes. "You know you can call me Kaz right?"

You laugh as you herd him through the door knowing that he has business to attend to.

"But I think you much prefer when I call you Dirtyhands."

The blush spreads across his cheeks albeit not as strong this time but at least you know it's not from one of your elixirs.

"Only you Y/n only you."

Words 1799

-thedelusionreaderbitch

Shadow and bone taglist: @kaqua @rika90 @thefandomplace @musical-theatre-obsessed-dumbass @gallysonegoodlung @navs-bhat @sumsebien @dontjudgeabookbythecover

[yesimwriting]

Hi!!! I was wondering if you could do like a short story post or something I wonder how Our General Kirigan would react to a shy reader? Would he tease her? Be frustrated with her? And how would she react? Idk maybe just a thought 😅 I asked you because i really like your writing and I feel like you would really do a good job and I like the way you portray the General. 😊

a/n i have been crying/feeling shitty for the past two days for no reason!! so i thought it might make me feel better to try writing headcanons! i have SO MANY half done requests/fics but as of recently i hate everything that i write!! so i thought i'd work on this request that lends itself to headcanons

also im glad you like my writing :))

--

General Kirigan with a shy! reader headcanons:

- First things first, I think how he interacts with someone shy that he sees as a (potential) romantic interest varies per situation. Like generally, he finds the timidness kind of soft which is so different from what he's used to that he finds that aspect kind of endearing.

- He'd never admit that at the beginning, but the more time you spend with him the clearer it becomes to you because of how he acts when you're alone together

- At first, he'd hold onto his usual stoic disposition, but after realizing that at the end of the day your shyness is genuine and not an attempt to seem meek in order to trick people/him he'd begin to tease you about it when you two are alone.

- The first time he makes a comment that's just a little,, kinda-almost suggestive (a comment about how he wonders what it'd be like to be a Heartrender so that he could hear the change in your heartbeat every time you shied away from something) you're too confused to be embarrassed for like two seconds.

- You're basically that meme that's like did I hear that shit righttt??

- So you meet his gaze, and there's absolutely nothing but warm confidence there and you realize that he had in fact,,, said that.

- You hold his gaze for a moment out of protest (which is an incredible feat) and then you have to drop your eyes to the floor. You mumble some comment about how his ability to summon shadows isn't exactly a boring skill.

- Your reaction is so soft,, Kirigan can't help but be endeared even further. Something he wasn't exactly expecting and isn't too thrilled about. He doesn't think being shy makes you weak,, but he's extremely wary about how you're perceived and how people may treat you because of it.

- He doesn't doubt his ability to protect you, but he doesn't want to be distracted,, not with all he has to do.

- Still, he can't help mumble comments whenever there's a brief pause and you two are alone

- Meanwhile, you're starting to notice that now more situations keep coming up when you're left alone with Kirigan?? like he's always in the library when you are, he's always walking in to assess training when you're training and he just so happens to linger until you leave and then he just so happens needs to walk in the same hallway.

- It's a little strange at first,, but you're more horrified by the fact that you're not mad about it than the fact that it's happening. Especially since you know how much joy he gets from getting you flustered. You can see that in that slightly cocky uptilt to his lips whenever you're left gaping at him.

- Why doesn't it bother you?? You try to rationalize it and the only conclusion you can come to is the fact that he's attractive and powerful and even though your face gets hot whenever he talks to you,, there's appeal in those qualities. There's appeal in getting the infamous General to smile.

- Even if it costs you the bit of pride you have.

- You don't get why you're the one he seems to be going out of his way to speak to (maybe when your life is as stressful as his is,, at the end of the day you just want something easy and if he's in the mood to be flirty, you're easy) but you're not mad. You just have to constantly remind yourself to not be foolish enough to think you're the only one he goes out of his way to talk to.

- And as time progresses, you get a little more comfortable with his banter. You stop shying away completely,, which only encourages him to get bolder with his comments.

- Nothing insane,, not yet, just a little more direct.

- It kind of becomes a little game to him,, to see how flustered he can get you with the minimal amount of effort. Every once in awhile, you manage to act normally, but he's quick to shut that down by upping his game just slightly.

- After awhile, it starts to become a game for you too, to see how much of your instincts you can suppress just to take away some of his satisfaction. Only when he's getting a little too smug.

- But that's when y'all are alone...

- When you're surrounded by others, sometimes it feels like you don't even exist to each other. Sometimes that's a lonely feeling for both of you, but each of you is convinced that they're the only one that feels the absence.

- In your defense, you're much more entitled to those feelings because he can literally do whatever he wants. You can't just walk up to the General and do what?? ask him why he hasn't made any suggestive comment in the last couple of hours??

- please that embarrassing!! even if you weren't shy, that would be out of POCKET

- Meanwhile Kirigan is just like being angsty and debating the implications of seeking you out in an environment with so many important people. He could probably manage a minute or two by your side without making anyone suspicious, but the danger in that is that he won't be able to bring himself to leave after those minutes pass him.

- Worse,, he may even find an excuse for both of you to step out into the hall so that he can make his comments and take in your reactions in private.

- It's especially difficult when you have that one strand of hair just slightly out of place,, presenting the perfect excuse for him to just fix it and then drop his hand slowly so that his fingertips can brush the side of your cheek.

- And you're growing tired of the crowds of people you're not comfortable with and you're starting to feel more and more stupid for letting something that was so clearly just a playful distraction mean anything to you.

- But before either of you can succumb to your angsty pinning (cough, cough,, simps) his eyes will find yours from across the room and that's EVERYTHING

- At first, you want to be stiff and look away because it's probably not intentional, but then he gives you that little smirk. And then you feel stupid for ever doubting that you two at least have some kind of friendship. (maybe more,, but you're too scared to let yourself think that,, ;))

- And then you give him this shy smile,, and that's it. He's done--that one look undoes him entirely.

- So he starts shifting towards you as casually as possible, because if he can't be with you right now, surely being near you is good enough for now.

- You're unaware of this,, and when the moment ends you find yourself longing for more, but relatively satisfied. You don't expect anything from him, he's important and you're you.

- And being around people drains you because you genuinely want to stay out of any situation that would have too much attention on you at once. So once Kirigan moves and you can't find him in the crowd, you decide now is as good a time as any to step out and get some air, especially since no one currently needs you for anything.

- So you disappear into the corridor, planning to be gone only for a few minutes. But the second you're about two steps into the hallway, you hear another's footsteps.

- The hopeful part of you is like 'maybe it's him!!' but you don't really think that. There's something about the atmosphere that feels too tense,, too wrong for you to believe it's him.

- A moment later, your suspicions are confirmed. A grisha known for his impulsiveness is calling out to you, asking you where you're going.

- You explain that you just wanted to get some air and that you'd be returning in a minute. You try to sound dismissive, clearly establishing that you'd like your minute to yourself.

- It's clear that he understands the hint, but he doesn't move. He just keeps asking you questions.

- Your answers get shorter and shorter, the nerves your feeling tensing with each word as he begins to venture from falsely casual conversation to more flirtatious words. Being shy can leave you speaking too much, spluttering out words in hopes of saying the right thing to let you escape, but this is a different type of nervousness. Something feels wrong.

- And he just keeps saying things, things that even Kirigan wouldn't be able to get away with.

- All the while, you're desperate to escape, but they're persistent.

- And just when you're losing hope, and his advances get so bold he has you literally backed into a corner--a familiar voice comes to you like a lifeline.

- Kirigan, with all the authority of the general, questions what's going on. The guy that was so relentlessly hitting on you moves back like suddenly you're fire and begins to back away. He tries to explain himself but Kirigan is not having it.

- As soon as the stranger leaves, you feel like you can breathe again, but your nerves are still on edge. Kirigan's looking at you in a way you've never seen before. Sharp and almost--almost angry?

- You try to mumble a quick thanks, intending to disappear back to where you're supposed to be, but Kirigan's gaze keeps you planted against the wall.

- His gaze is so intense you ask him if he's alright.

- The question cracks something in him because of course you'd ask him if he's okay after something happened to you. His expression softens slightly, which you think is a good thing but then he speaks,, and his voice is not calm at all

- He's mad at the person that did that and the irrational part of him makes it seem like he's a little mad at you for letting that situation happen, but it's only because he's worried about what would have happened if he hadn't gotten there in time.

- And you're kind of confused because like?? what does he want from you? you made it clear you were uncomfortable and you were trying to get away?

- But after a quick snap and the fact that you're okay settles in,, he does feel a little bad. So he comes close to apologizing,, but that's basically just him saying he's glad that you're okay.

- You don't really ease, so he decides to make a partial joke about how maybe he needs to be around you more,, just to be safe,, you know

- And you smile slightly, and you're like 'y'know i'm not completely helpless.'

- and he's like 'pity,, i would've liked the excuse'

- your face instantly feels extremely warm and you're not sure what you could even, plausibly say to that. But you can't let him have the last word,, not like that. So you're overcompensating, rambling, but then at the end...you say something about how he doesn't really need an excuse to stay near you.

- When you realize what you've said, fight or flight kicks in,, but you can't move. And there's no casual way to escape, so you decide that maybe you'll cut your losses for today because that might have been your most significant reply to him ever, and you feel like an idiot because he was probably joking. And you just had to say that and make it weird.

- So you allow exactly one second of unfortunate silence, your eyes glued to the ground. And then you make some excuse about needing to get back to where you were.

- But Kirigan stops you, and you think about how you can't avoid looking him in the eyes forever, so you just kind of barely dare to glance upwards.

- And he's smiling broader than usual, the look is so warm it melts away all the bad feelings from earlier. You have absolutely no idea what it means, but you know it's not...bad.

- And then he shifts slightly, and that's when you realize he's never been this close before.

- He then asks if you're sure, voice much lower than earlier.

- You can't speak,, too trapped on a line you don't understand.

- But as he leans forward, the only answer he needs is the instinctual part of your lips as his warm breath reaches your cheek.

- And with that he turns his head just a fraction of an inch,, and his lips meet yours.

- It's just a quick brush of lips,, a soft test. And when you don't protest, he moves to let the contact be a little more assured, yet still teasing.

- Something in you grows impatient, and you move a little in hopes that he'll take the hint.

- But that's all it takes for him to pull away, expression bright and teasing before playfully chiding you for being so eager.

- He then turns, leaving you more flustered than ever.

[wakatvshi]

Hey! I saw that you receive requests so.. I would love some marley warriors + jean (because i love him) with an s/o who's really.. Touchy, please? Could be headcanons or imagines🥺 thank you so so much! 😭

Yeah! I would love to! They’re kind of rambling but I hope you like them and that this is what you wanted! I didn’t do Annie because I just couldn’t really figure out what to write about her but if you really want her send a seperate message and I’ll give you annie with a touchy s/o!

Heads up though I’ve never written or read for Zeke before because he’s not personally a favorite so I hope he’s okay in this! 

JEAN KIRSTEIN ══▸

Jean would LOVE a touchy s/o. He’s a very touchy person himself so having someone who’s as touchy as he is would make him so happy. 

When the two of you are alone he’s all about touching you and always wants to be touching you. When you’re working on something and he can’t be touching you all the time he’ll sit next to you or as close to you as he can be and just be near you. Which helps you both because you’re a touchy person. 

Something both of you love is when you’re sitting in his lap, just doing whatever you’ve been doing. He’ll walk in and you’ll give grabby hands and want to be held and he’ll want to hold you. Doesn’t matter what gender/size anything he wants to have you in his lap and it makes him happy. 

In public, he’s more shy about touching because he’s actually a huge baby and his ‘flirty’ persona that some people think he has is 100% real. He wants to act like he’s smooth but he’s not. He’ll hold your hand and walk with you in public but anything more it’s not going to be him initiating it.

If you’re with him in public and you want more affection than holding hands then you’ll have to do it and he will turn bright red and stutter if he’s supposed to be talking. It’s adorable and he’s so happy even if he’s bright red. 

Another one of his favorite things is you playing with his hair, it turns into a big puddle when you play with his hair and when you compliment him in basically anyway.

If any of his friends catch him being super cute or you being cute with him (aka Sasha and Connie) they’ll laugh and tease him and he’ll get defensive but doesn’t actually mind it. Even if he did you’d just hug him from behind or wrap your arms around him and he’s glaring at them but also super focused on the attention he’s now getting. 

Sleeping with Jean is basically a cuddle fest as well, thankfully for you he’s touchy as well so when you both wake up tangled in each other neither of you really mind it. 

BERTHOLDT HOOVER ══▸

Bertholdt with a touchy s/o would be so good for him but also something that he has to get used to. 

Eventually he finds out that he loves it but at first he doesn’t expect it. He’s very shy and stand-offish even if he doesn’t mean to be. So any physical affection for the most part will have to be done by you. Even years into your relationship you’ll have to be the one who makes the moves. 

The first time you initiate any kind of touch he goes bright red and has no idea how to react. Outside he’s frozen and staring at you, sweating a little. Inside of course he’s beyond happy and he wants nothing more than to move and do the same, he wants to hold onto you too. He wants to touch you and be affectionate but he doesn’t know how. It isn’t until you try to move away that he finally acts and grabs your hand.

Even years into your relationship most of the affection will be initiated by you so it is a good thing that you’re not afraid to be the one who reaches out for him. It also brings him out of his shell quite a bit. 

When the two of you are alone he loves the affection you give him. He doesn’t know how to ask for the affection he wants but he does give small signals and you know him well enough to reach out and grab his hands or crawl in his lap. 

PDA is a no go for him completely, he’s obviously a shy person and being super affectionate is outside of his comfort zone as it is so adding anything else would just be far outside his comfort zone

I also do feel like physical affection is his love language so him having the freedom to act on that and having someone who wants that affection like he does would make him so happy. 

Sleeping with Bertholdt is always a fun experience. You might start holding into him or him holding onto you but you’ll end up in a dozen different positions before you wake up.You’ve got no real say in how you sleep when you’re with him.  

REINER BRAUN ══▸

Literally a teddy bear and would LOVE to have an affectionate s/o. Needs an affectionate s/o. 

Reiner feels unlovable, he feels worthless and he is very depressed and I’m by no means saying you can fix him or fix anyone like that, but affection is everything to this man even if he doesn’t think he deserves it. 

You’ll have to be the one to make the first move for the first time but as soon as he realizes how much you do love affection he’ll be happy to initiate as well. Sometimes he’ll surprise you by being the one to reach out and hold you first. 

Obviously you love that, you’ll just be doing something and possibly not even paying attention to him and Reiner will be the one to walk up and wrap his arms around you and just stand there. 

To him affection is proof of love and comfort that he desperately needs. It would take him a little to get used to at first im sure, he’s not used to it like his mother isn’t very affectionate but he craves it. 

With Reiner it’s easy to be touchy. Even in public he doesn’t mind, he’s more in awe of the fact that you want to be seen with him and want to give affection.

He’s not super huge on over the top PDA but he does love holding your hand or kissing your cheek. Also piggy back rides, I can see him being a fan of that because it’s touch and that’s what he loves and craves.

Sharing a bed with Reiner is always the two of you tangled in each other. He likes to be the big spoon and likes to hold you but he’s 100% okay with you holding him, sometimes he even prefers that. 

Reiner needs to feel loved and affection is the best way to do that in his mind. So being touchy would be perfect.

PORCO GALLIARD ══▸

To me Porco is literally the embodiment of “disgusting. do it again.”

Now not because he’s not a fan of affection but he has this cool guy persona that he puts on around people. He wants people to see him as the tough guy when it’s only half true. You can see it with the kids that he’s actually a super affectionate guy. 

Porco needs validation and having an s/o who’s super touchy would give him that. When you’re touching him he feels like he’s number one. He’s your main focus and it means the world to him. Of course he’d never tell you that. 

You’ll have to be able to read him a little to be able to tell when he wants something because he’s stubborn and sometimes it takes a lot for him to ask you for something if he’s not sure how. 

Now if he’s just in the mood to be affectionate himself he’s good with just holding you or grabbing your hand. He’s also big in kissing, he loves kissing but usually he tries to make it more suggestive or almost casual. 

For just cuteness you’ll have to be the one who holds his face and kisses him or who just holds his hand or hugs him. He has to lean the importance of cute nonsexual affection. 

PDA to him makes him blush a little also super proud that you’re the one on his arm and he wants to show you off and loves that you want to show him off. Being the “most important” to you is important to him. 

When Porco sleeps he’ll sleep holding you for a few minutes but he’s not one who likes to hold onto someone when he sleeps. Biggest surprise when sleeping with him is that Porco LOVES to be the little spoon. He’ll deny it with his dying breath but he adores it. 

Also random cutsey headcanon for Porco that will never leave my head is that Porco loves when you baby talk to him. I have no reason for this hc but I just feel like he would love it. 

PIECK FINGER ══▸

A queen of physical affection honestly. Lives for it and lives to give it. 

She’s in her titan form a lot and when she’s finally out of it she has trouble walking on two legs so you being there for her to lean on when she’s not walking with her crutch and just actually physically supporting her would mean the world to her. 

She also likes that you want to be affectionate with her after being in her titan form for so long. she wants to be held and wants her hair played with. If you let her just lay in your lap and play with her hair or hold her hand she’ll be the happiest woman in the world. 

A lot of your affectionate time is spent with you both laying or sitting somewhere together. If you’re giving her attention or letting her give attention she’s loving it. 

Another thing she loves is walking around with you, she doesn’t shy away from PDA. If you’re together and if you want to kiss her cheek or something she’s more than happy about it. She’ll laugh softly and get the faintest of pink on her cheeks

She does have to make sure that she’s professional about it because she is a warrior and has to keep up her professional persona. 

Of course, you’ll have people who are beyond jealous watching her with you and honestly she thinks it’s kinda cute that people are jealous because to her it doesn’t make sense. 

Sleeping with Pieck is just cuddle city for both of you. She likes to be hold and be held and you’re happy to do both as well. There’s nothing either of you like better than the intimacy and connection that the two of you have laying there and holding each other. 

ZEKE YEAGER ══▸

This man takes a while to get used to physical affection. He’s not really had affection before so you’ll have to work at it.

When he was younger he didn’t have much affection, we know that grandfather spends a great amount of time in the hospital for mental issues and we saw from how they raised Grisha that they’re not super affectionate.

His life has mostly been spent working towards his goals and trying to do what he could to make sure he could complete the goals. So he’s not really put much attention to romantic relationships. 

Having you be super affectionate would for sure throw him off a bit but he’s good at hiding that. I do think once he was used to it, he’d just lean into your touches and want to stay there. 

He doesn’t like PDA at all, he’s the captian of the warriors and he’s respected even by some of the people of Marley. So it is hands off in public. He will walk close to you though, if your arms are brushing and you’re close to him he is happy. 

Alone though he does love affection. You playing with his hair is a good one but what he really loves is getting massages from you. He works hard and if you’ll just stand behind him rubbing his shoulders and kissing the top of his head he’s the happiest man ever. 

When you’re sleeping Zeke is 100% big spoon. He wants to hold you, if you want he’ll let you hold him but he’s most comfortable when he’s able to hold you. That’s when he shows his real affectionate side. He wants you close to him, and he loves holding you. He feels like he can rest when you’re in his arms. 

[sadchappuccino]

My Queen

Pairing: The Darkling x otkazat’sya!reader

Warnings: Angst, fluff, sexual hints

A/n: Omg she’s actually writing again.... Honestly shit is happening in my life so I’m going back to my good ol’ trusty coping mechanism of simping for fictional characters

The sun shines bright in your room, too bright for your liking. Groggily your turned around and hid your face in your husbands shirt. “Make it go away”, you mumbled. Aleksander kisses the top of your head as he let the darkness embrace you both. “Thank you”, you smile. Aleksander wrapped his arms around you, pulling you tight into his embrace, “anything for you my love.”

You don’t know how it happened. How you, an otkazat’sya, got together with the most powerful grisha in all of Ravka. It all happened so naturally, when you met you felt that instant connection and the more time you spent together the more the connection grew.

You were walking through the woods, trying to get some fresh air and far away from all the people in Os Alta. It was a beautiful city, but too crowded, so you’d escape reality for a while and take a stroll.

These little walks always cheered you up, they made you forget about the city. All there was were the chirps of the birds and the smooth breeze of the wind.

On that faithful day a horse ran straight to you, making you fall back scared by the large black stallion. A man jumped between you and the horse, once he calmed the horse down he turned to you. He was tall with black hair, a beard and the most beautiful eyes. “I am terribly sorry,” he offered you his hand and you hesitantly took it. “Oh it’s fine just scared me a bit, that’s all,” you smiled. You had no idea that this was the Darkling nor that he would be your husband, in that moment he was just a handsome stranger.

“What is on your mind,” Aleksander asked you. You looked up at him, meeting his gaze, “the day we met.” Aleksander smiled broadly, “that’s one of my favourite days, after our wedding.”

“Oh really and here I thought our first time was your favourite day,” you sassed. “It is definitely up there,” he groaned into your neck, “but on our wedding we eternalised our love for each other.” You slowly kissed his lips “you’re such a sap.”

“How is that anyway to treat your husband,” Aleksander mused. “We both know that I know perfectly well how to treat you,” your hand trailed down his body, gliding over his abs.

A loud knock interrupted your movement and you groaned. Aleksander threw his head back in annoyance, “What is it?” He shouted to the person on the other side of the door. “We found the sun summoner, sir,” Ivan announced.

Aleksander’s eyes widened, he quickly pecked your lips, “I’m sorry my love but I have to go.” You kissed him again, but more passionately this time, “go. I will be here when you’re back.” He groaned into your mouth, “I’ll keep you to that.” And he left the room, leaving you alone and cold without his touch to warm you up.

You got dressed and walked through the halls of the little palace, at first this place was foreign. Many grisha didn’t accept you at first because you couldn’t practice the small sciences, but soon you proved yourself more than worthy of your place here. You were smart, so you often found yourself working with materialki. You also knew basic medics, a way the grisha healers weren’t taught, so you showed them how to give chest compressions instead of having to call a heartrender. It was harder to bond with the etherealki and the heartrenders, but you managed. Soon everyone adored you, even if you were just otkazat’sya.

Today you walked to the labs, you were working with a few alkemi on a new kind of substance that could temporarily impair a person’s legs and arms without them receiving any further injuries from the substance. You had it almost figured out, there was still a few hitches in the chemical compound. After a few hours with no progress, you gave up.

You walked back to you and the Darkling’s quarters. Your eyes landed on a few pieces of papers on the floor. You didn’t meant to read them, just pick them up and place them on your husbands desk, but your interest spiked when you saw the words ‘expanding the fold.’ Before you even knew what you were doing, you started to read everything, you grabbed more of his books and papers until every single inch of the room was covered with the books.

“Hello darling,” Aleksander smiled widely as he entered the room. You turned around to face him, “what is this?” you held the original plan in your hands. Aleksander’s face fell, “y/n it’s not what it looks like.” “Really? Because it looks like you want to expand the fold and kill thousands of people!” you screamed. “It’s the only way, if we don’t do this the war will continue on and more people will die,” he stepped closer and his voice softened, “if there was any other way I wouldn’t do this.”

“There must be another way Aleks, please you can’t do this,” you pleaded. “I’ve been alive for hundreds of years, there is no other way.”

“Promise me one thing Aleks,” you said, “you won’t lose yourself by going on this path, promise me you won’t change.”

“Never my queen,” he placed his hand in your cheek, “I will always be the Aleksander you fell in love with.” You looked at the ground and then up at him, “Then I will stand by you, for better and for worse.”