#zoya oneshot

[heliads]

hi!!! i would like to request a zoya nazyalensky x female reader slightly based on mary's song by taylor swift! i don't know if you accept request like this so feel free to write it or not. i just think that the "i dared you to kiss me and ran when you tried", "i was 16 when suddenly i wasn't that little girl you used to see" and especially "said you'd beat me up you were bigger than me but you never did" lines are sooooo zoya coded, so if you also just want to write something using this ones? idk, maybe y/n arrived in the palace a bit after zoya and was also a squaller just a little younger and they made zoya teach her a bit so they know each other since they were little and she has been a pain in zoya's ass since forever well, feel free to choose and write however you want to thanks!

'after all this time, you and i' - zoya nazyalensky

masterlist

Zoya is having a perfectly normal morning until someone finally tells her the news.

Normalcy is hard to come by at the Little Palace. It’s hard to come by when you live in Ravka, when you are a Grisha, when your closest friends are kings with demons and girls without all of their eyes. One’s even a Sun Saint. So yes, Zoya’s definition of normalcy is a little strained. Defining this morning as normal purely means that no one has yet lit any buildings on fire.

Even this tenuous thread of normalcy, though, will not stand forever. Zoya has hardly been awake for a couple of hours before all of that comes crashing down again. Luckily for her, it’s not even bad. It’s just different, that’s all. Zoya knows it’s going to be different the same way she knows when everything else changes around here:  gossip. The entire Little Palace is ablaze with it.

Zoya does her best to ignore the whispers as long as she can. Whatever new trouble has arrived to Os Alta will become her problem soon enough, but if she can push off the inevitable for as long as possible, that just means she won’t have to worry for quite as long. It’ll do her constantly furrowed brow some good, at least, if it can have a chance to rest every now and then.

She’s not too proud to admit that she’s definitely doubled back down corridors to avoid large crowds of over excited Grisha, nor that every time she sees someone who looks like they’re just bursting with information that must get out at once, she comes up with some nonexistent task that she just has to get to. If it’s a serious threat, someone would have come for her already. Zoya doesn’t want to hear about run-of-the mill calamities. Only the finest of disasters can be allowed to ruin her morning.

Genya Safin, in the end, is the one who has to break the news. This is also possibly because Genya is the bravest, or just the only Grisha around save for perhaps David who is capable of talking to Zoya without wishing the ground would open up beneath their feet and swallow them whole. Given that David is likely holed up in his lab somewhere, tinkering on gadgets and gizmos until Genya drags him off to meals, Genya herself is the one who must bear this morning’s news.

Even Zoya’s friendship with the Tailor cannot protect Genya from receiving a few haughty stares. Genya emerges from the shadow of a room as Zoya walks past, matching Zoya’s strides within moments despite Zoya’s repeated attempts to speed up and shake her.

At last, Zoya sighs and gives in, slowing down enough that they can walk comfortably. “What’s gone wrong?”

Genya laughs. “Couldn’t I just be talking to you because I felt like it?”

Zoya arches a cold brow. “Are you?”

“Partially,” Genya admits. “Also, there’s something you need to know.”

“Figures,” Zoya says. “What disaster do I have to avert now?”

“No disaster, actually,” Genya answers her. “I just wanted you to know that an old friend will be returning to the Little Palace.”

Zoya eyes her cautiously. “I don’t have old friends. Everyone I know is either here or dead.”

Genya closes her eyes faintly as if searching for patience within the confines of her mind. “Zoya, I know you’re never a sweetheart, but would it kill you to practice optimism every now and then? Just one day without making me listen to something incredibly depressing or cutting, that’s all I ask.”

“You ask for too much,” Zoya says crisply. “So? Who’s coming?”

Genya manages a smile in the midst of her consternation. “Y/N L/N.”

Zoya Nazyalensky is not much given to surprise. She has done her best to remove that unreliable element from her very existence. On the battlefield, you can’t afford for something to take you by surprise. Everything should be expected. If there is something Zoya does not understand, a battle plan or tactical maneuver she doesn’t anticipate, countless lives will be lost. Shock is simply not in her vocabulary.

However, all this being true, upon hearing that Y/N L/N will be back in Os Alta, back here, Zoya actually stops dead in her tracks in surprise. She breathes in and out deliberately, trying to regain her footing. “Y/N?” She asks at last. “You’re sure of it?”

“Positive,” Genya chirps. “I got word from her just this morning. She’ll be arriving later today with news from Shu Han.”

Zoya shakes her head slowly. “That’s impossible. I thought the crown sent her out there for five years. Has something gone wrong? Why is she back early?”

“She’s not back early,” Genya says softly. “It’s been five years to the day. Her assignment is up and so she’s coming home. You’re not unhappy, are you? I thought you’d be pleased to hear the news.”

“I am pleased,” Zoya says, but her mind is already a whirlwind of thoughts and memories, so it’s difficult to focus on the conversation anymore. All of the space in her brain has been taken up with that one idea, that one confounded, blessed, insane idea, that after all of this time, Y/N L/N might be back in Os Alta. Back with Zoya. Back home.

It’s been a long time since Zoya saw Y/N. Well, five years, if one wanted to be specific. Zoya usually likes dealing with specifics. Keeping to the rigid lines and absolute details is the only way that a person can guarantee they will be right. With Y/N, though, Zoya for some reason has difficulty sticking to the impartial. Perhaps it’s just because it’s been so long. Yes, that must be it.

Zoya met Y/N many years ago. Just about when Zoya arrived at the Little Palace, actually, they were both children. Zoya was first and Y/N was second, but only by a handful of months. They were only off in age by a year or two, but Zoya, being older and far more of a perfectionist, had convinced herself that she was infinitely more reasonable and advanced.

Both of them being Squallers, Zoya saw Y/N the most out of anyone in the Little Palace, or so it seemed. The younger girl was always hanging off of Zoya’s shoulder, talking her ear off or following her around from class to class. It used to drive Zoya mad during the early days, but over time she’d gotten used to it. It was a common sight back in the first years; there was Zoya, striding briskly across the grounds of the Little Palace, and then her shadow in a matching blue kefta, Y/N, never far behind.

During the first few years, Zoya had done everything she could to get rid of the girl. She’d threatened to use her gifts to drop her off of the tallest tower around, or beat her up in one of Botkin’s rigorous combat classes, but no matter what Zoya said, Y/N never listened. She’d just show up the next day or the next hour, beaming cheekily, and utterly, utterly immune to any of Zoya’s snarls or poor temper.

That was the beginning, though, and then it had been sort of nice to have someone always there for her. Zoya wasn’t immune to the idolatry of being older and more advanced in her practice of the Small Science. By the end of it, she was kind of fond of it, actually. Having Y/N there beside her was something to be taken for granted, a promise that would never be broken.

Just when she was starting to appreciate it, word got out that the crown was sending Y/N away to Shu Han for five years. Five. Zoya was immediately horror struck, then pretended that she was not affected at all, because why would she be hurt by something like this? Why would she find herself weeping silent tears at midnight because of the thought that where there was once a smiling, laughing girl, someone who had seen Zoya for years and genuinely still wanted her, there would soon be absolute silence?

Zoya had attempted to brush it all off like it didn’t matter. She hadn’t even hugged Y/N goodbye like the other girls, trying too hard to act stiff and unapproachable. She’d been there, though, when the horses rode off. She’d waved. She’d felt her whole world collapse.

Zoya had found a way to carry on, though, and over time she had convinced herself that she was just being nostalgic, that’s all. Goodbyes are always difficult when you’re a child. You think parting from someone once means you’ll lose them forever. It’s true sometimes, but not always. Sometimes, they come back to you. Sometimes, they sneak up on you one busy morning, and you’re left wondering how to open up their place in your heart after you locked it off for so long.

Zoya bids Genya a hasty goodbye before retreating back to her room again. She ends up pacing for quite a long time indeed, running through all manner of scenarios before deciding that she'd been thinking too much about the whole affair and needs to give it a rest. Y/N will come back. She’ll have plenty to talk about and plenty of people to talk to. It will be fine.

Zoya hears a general clamor erupt from outside the hall. The horses are here now, apparently, and everyone’s just dying to see their favorite girl after such a long absence. After taking one last moment to contain herself, Zoya steps out into the chaos, joining the other Grisha in streaming out the doors and into the bright sunshine of the afternoon.

There are too many people to get a good view of anything, so Zoya hangs back near the entrance of the Little Palace. If there are horses and riders, they’ve been swarmed by the other Grisha vying for stories and hellos and everything else. Zoya bides her time and watches everyone else go to and fro as if their lives depend on it.

There’s a slow, vague parting of the crowd as people shift to accommodate movement in the mass. Zoya tilts her head to the side, trying to see but also trying not to look as if she’s trying too hard. The grooms are moving away first, leading exhausted horses back to the stable. There are the soldiers that were sent to protect such a valuable negotiator, but then–

Someone shouts that she’s coming around the bend now, and Zoya shades her eyes with her hand to see properly, but she can’t find the girl anywhere. Zoya knows what Y/N looks like, remember it from when she was a child, but the only person there is a young woman who’s too tall and bright to be–

Oh, Saints. Oh, no. She’s beautiful.

It’s foolish to be thinking like this. More foolish still to watch the woman who must be Y/N striding confidently across the courtyard of the Little Palace, heels striking the cobblestones evenly. The blue of her kefta compliments her eyes perfectly, which flash with mischief as Y/N strolls up to Zoya and says briskly, “If it isn’t my favorite Squaller. It’s been a while, hasn’t it, Nazyalensky?”

Zoya would like to know when they reverted to a last name basis, but more than that, she’d like to know why she feels incapable of speaking without stammering. “Five years to be precise, L/N.”

Y/N’s face splits in a broad grin. “Oh, don’t be cold. I know you’ve missed me, haven’t you?”

Again, Zoya is struck by what five years can do to a girl. Before, Y/N had never dared to be so open. She never would have insisted on what Zoya could or could not feel, but now, she does it easily. She’s not that little girl Zoya used to see around the Little Palace grounds anymore, that’s for certain.

(Privately, Zoya wonders if that might not be for the best. If there might not be a reason Zoya wants her to be bright and tall and free-willed. If there is not something she can get out of the girl now that she hadn’t seen when they were both kids.)

“I did,” Zoya admits, surprising not just herself but likely both of them.

Y/N wavers on her heels for a second, evidently not expecting raw honesty from Zoya this early into her return, but then her smile returns in full force and she wraps her arms around Zoya in a warm embrace. “I missed you too,” she whispers against Zoya’s hair, and perhaps it’s just wishful thinking but Zoya swears the voice is more sly than it ever has been before.

Zoya can do sly, though. Zoya can handle conniving and planning and desperate secrets. So, she pulls away slowly, then slips an arm around Y/N’s waist, casually tugging her closer as they walk back to the Little Palace.

“You’re different,” Zoya says casually. “It’s good for you, I think. You had better tell me all about it.”

A returning grin from Y/N, and Zoya knows at last that they’re on the same page. Time can change us, yes. But it can also return us to the people we were always meant to be. For once, Zoya thinks that growing up might not always be a bad thing.

grishaverse tag list: @rogueanschel, @deadreaderssociety, @cameronsails, @mxltifxnd0m, @story-scribbler, @retvenkos, @mayfieldss, @eclliipsed, @gods-fools-heroes, @bl606dy, @auggie2000, @baju69, @crazyhearttragedy, @budugu, @aoi-targaryen

all tags list: @wordsarelife

[maximoffgxrl]

May I have this dance? {Zoya Nazyalensy}

Pairing: Zoya x fem!reader

Summary: Reader is not feeling well. Everything seems grey and overwhelming and she can't take it anymore, but she keeps hiding in corners and faking smiles so no one notices it. But Zoya notices. She always do.

Note: hi!!! this isn't a request, it's just something i had in mind and finally decided to write, but i'm already working on the requests that were sent! i hope you guys like it <3

You were tired. You had started your day early, slipping into your blue kefta and leaving your room to train along with the other Squallers. You followed your routine quietly and without talking to anyone, but your collegues didn't really care, after all, it was y/n and she was always quiet, your shy personality being well known in the Little Palace.

During lunch, you ate fast and silently, being done and out of the room before most of the grisha even arrived. You didn't want to risk running into Genya, the closest thing to a friend you had here, because you knew the Tailor would know something's wrong.

The afternoon was filled with more training, since studying was your way of occupying your mind. You always were a brilliant student, being fluent in multiple languages and one of the best Etherealki in the Little Palace, and you took refuge on those terms. It was easy for you, simple, and that was all you needed right now.

But you were pushing yourself too much lately, trying to occupy your thoughts all the time so you wouldn't think about all the things you couldn't control, and that came with a price. When the night came, you had a massive headache and sore limbs, so you decided to skip dinner and head straight to your room.

It wasn't really a problem, no one would notice your absence the same way no one noticed the many times your eyes filled with tears during the day. You didn't really care about the lack of friends in your life, it was just another one of the things you were terrible at: connecting with people. There was nothing to be done, just accept it, but it still hurt when you thought that nobody cared about you.

So you went to your room and took a long shower. With your hair still wet you put on a robe and sat by the mirror, staring blankly at your own empty eyes. You didn't know how things had gone this way, you used to be a happy kid - rosy cheeks, jumping around and smiling - but now you just feel sad and it's overwhelming.

Your mind seemed to never slow down, a hundred thoughts per minute, and sometimes you just couldn't breathe. Your chest tightening up, your hands shaking and tears streaming down your face. You were tired, hopeless and lonely, and it was killing you slowly.

With tears in your eyes, you just hung your head and cried, shoulders shaking with sobs, your hair falling around your face. You didn't know how long you stayed like this, only opening your eyes when you felt a hand on your back, stroking it lightly and letting you know that someone else was there.

Thinking it was Genya, you lift your head just to meet an all too familiar pair of blue eyes. Zoya Nazyalensky. Her hand immediately left you body and you tried to hide the surprise in your eyes, but knew it was pointless, Zoya was always able to know exactly what you were thinking, and by the look on her face, she still could.

You had been in the Little Palace for only two weeks when Zoya arrived. You actually saw her, dressed in golden and with dirt on her face, and felt a strange pull towards that little girl looking back at someone you couldn't see. And, lucky for you, she saw you too. It was the first time those blue eyes landed on you, and you felt safe under her watch, comfortable.

So, when one of the older grisha knocked on your door later and asked if you could give the new Squaller a tour, you nodded happily before jumping out of bed, smilling at the girl who eyed you skeptically. You didn't know why they were asking you of all people to help her, you could barely find your own way to your classes, but you wouldn't complain, being curious about the blue-eyed girl the whole day.

For the 9 years old you, being the girl they picked to show Zoya around was destiny, something magic and irreversible. Now, you think it was because the older Squaller saw the possibility of you two being friends since you both arrived at the same time and were the same age. That way you could help each other with the Small Science and develop your studies together.

However, everything was still magic when you were a kid, and you decided in that moment that Zoya was meant to be your friend. You talked a lot while showing her all of the Little Palace and, even though she wouldn't answer all of your questions and kept staring at you with cold eyes, you just smiled, and that seemed to surprise her for only a second before she averted her eyes.

It wasn't easy, but Zoya eventually gave up the cold stares and let you follow her around, rolling her eyes at you excited chattering, but answering anyway and even smilling at you sometimes, when no one was watching, and that was more than enough for you. The two of you were together constantly, and after about a year of this strange relationship, Zoya finally called you a friend.

She wasn't as open as you are, but she would confide you some of her secrets. Zoya didn't like to be seen as weak, and she made sure everybody in the Little Palace knew how powerfull she was, but when she was afraid of her past and scared of being alone, she would hold your hand. She didn't need to say anything and neither did you, your presence being enough to bring her comfort. The lack of words also made her feel like she was still in control, like that simple exchange was nothing, and you were fine with that. You were fine with her.

The years passed and you grew. Zoya was the most beautiful person you've ever met, and also the scariest, but you knew better than to be pushed away by her scowl and harsh words. You didn't mind being in the receiving end of it because you knew she didn't mean to be mean, at least not with you, and she was grateful for that.

However, somewhere about 5 months past you 15 birthday, things changed completely. Zoya started to shut you down. She wouldn't go to your room anymore, and she never started conversations. She listened impatiently when you came to her, and tended to interrumpt you saying she had somewhere else to be. No more holding hands, no more smiles, no more chattering. She was getting more distant every day, and you found yourself helpless. There was nothing to be done, and you had to watch her go and become a stranger to you.

So, to say you were surprised she was staring at you right now was an understatement. You got up quickly, tightening your robe around your body and staring at her with the calmest expression you could.

- Uhm... Hi. - you said simply, pretending your eyes weren't red and puffy and hoping she would do the same. - Do you need something?

- I came to talk to you. - she said. No greeting, her eyes no longer in yours. You just sighed. It was probably for the best.

- About what? - you asked, running a hand through you hair, beggining to worry. - Did I do something wrong? Am I missing something in my classes?

She laughed dryly and you arched your brows, confused. You didn't know what else could be the topic of this conversation. Of course, you knew Zoya was close to The Darkling, but he already had the best Squaller with him, there was no reason for him to come to you.

- No, Y/N, you didn't do anything wrong. - she replied honestly, increasing you confusion. Reluctantly, she continued. - I was worried.

- About what? - you repeated, your brain apparently malfunctioning due to her presence. - Is it something I can help?

She sighed, taking a step in your direction. She lift her hand and it looked like she was reaching for yours, but she just tossed her hair over her shoulders, closing her eyes for a second before staring directly at you.

- About you. - she said simply, as if it was nothing, but you could see how tiff her body was.

It was your time to chuckle humorlessly.

- About me? - you arched your brows, crossing your arms over your chest, the anguish in your heart slowly being replaced with anger. - Funny. Where was this worry for the past two years, Zoya?

- Y/N, please... - she started, but you interrupt, not being able to contain yourself.

- No, I'm curious. Where was this worry when you just vanished from my life? When you decided that our friendship wasn't worth the effort anymore? When you walked away without even giving me am explanation? - you nearly screamed, tears treatening to leave your eyes. - You didn't worry back then. So why would you now?

- It's not like this. - Zoya said firmly, her cold expression giving place to an almost hurt look. - I didn't... I never said our friendship wasn't worth it.

- You didn't need to say it when you left me for no reason. - your voice mas trembeling, but you just could't stop yourself from saying what was stuck inside your heart for so long, tears already streaming down your face. - You were everything I had. My only friend, the only one I trusted in this place... Saints, you were family to me. When you started to act like I didn't exist, I felt my heart break in ways I didn't even know were possible. I loved you so much, Zoya, I would've done anything for you, but you just left me.

- I never meant to hurt you, Y/N. - she started again and for the first time in almost two years, you saw her armor fall at least a little bit. She sighed deeply and all you could see in her eyes was the 10 years old girl who was once your best friend. It was enough to make your heart ache for her, to make you listen. - I also never wanted to leave. You were the only person in this whole place who made me feel comfortable and loved. You weren't trying to change me, to find the adorable girl beneath my cold exterior. You didn't wanna be the one to tame me, you just wanted to be with me and love me despite all my flaws. You were truthfull and kind and loving and sweet, never asking for too much and yet so ready to give me everything. I loved you more than anything.

You were at a loss of words. You've spent so many time wondering what have gone wrong, repeating every interaction you both had in your head just so you could try to understand what you've done to make her go away, and now you were just so confused. If she loved you so much, why did she left?

- Then what went wrong? - your voice was almost a whisper when you spoke, almost dissapearing in the already quiet room. - Why did you left?

- Because that was exactly the problem. - the words left her mouth with so much sadness that all you wanted to do was hold her, but you just stood there, watching her. - I loved you so much, Y/N, I would do anything for you and I had never felt that way before. It was new and it was terrifying. You were gentle and sweet and I was not. I just... I wasn't the girl for you, I couldn't be what you needed and the idea of you realizing that and leaving me was haunting me. I was scared and i decided to leave before I get left. I was so terrified of losing you that I ruined everything we had by myself, and I'm sorry.

- You should have talked to me. - you said, your anger starting to built. - It's not up to you to decide what I need or what's good enough for me.

- I know that, I just... I was scared, Y/N, and I was a coward. Saints, I still am. - she said sheepishly. - It was selfish and wrong, but it was easier for me to walk away from the situation with some sort of control. And after that, I watched as your faded away in the crowd. You used to be so bright and I barely saw you smile anymore, and I knew it was my fault. I was too embarassed to come after you after being a jerk, and that's on me too. I should've been a better friend. I should've been better for you, and I'm sorry.

She finished her sentence looking at the ground, and you were speechless. You could understand why she did what she did and, after all, the two of you were only fifteen when all of this happened, too young and with too many responsabilities. You just didn't understand why she decided to tell you all of this now.

- Look, Zoya, I get it. - you finally said after a few moments of silence. - You were young and scared and you ran. Yes, it was wrong and you should've just talked to me instead, but I don't want to hold a grudge over this. You hurt me and you said you're sorry, and it's ok. I just don't understand why you came to me now.

- I told you, I was worried. - she said simply, lifting her head so she could look you in the eyes. - I see you, Y/N. I never stopped looking after you, I was just doing it from a distance. And this past few weeks... I know something's going on. You don't have to talk to me or explain yourself and I know I don't deserve your trust after two years of nothing, but I just... I couldn't watch you suffer from afar anymore, even if it meant I had to face what I did and explain everything to you. I should've done it sooner, and I'm sorry, but I'm here now, for anything you need.

You looked at Zoya, the fearless and feared Zoya, standing in front of you with teary eyes, no armor, no secrets and no excuses. You were feeling so many thing at the same time that you didn't know where to begin, but you knew you missed her. Even with all the sadness, anger and betrayal you felt, you missed her more than everything.

- You're ridiculous, you know? - you said while tears streamed down your face, taking a step in her direction. - Ridiculous and prideful and really stupid, but I love you and I missed you, so I would really like if you just shut up and hugged me.

A little smile showed up in her face before she wrapped you in her arms, your head resting on her shoulder just like you always did when the two of you were younger. Your body still fit right into hers, it was familiar and warm, and for the first time in a long way, you felt like you belong. You weren't alone anymore.

- I missed holding you so much. - she whispered, her chin resting on the top of your head, one of her hands caressing your hair softly. - I'm sorry it took me so long to come back, I really am.

- You can stop apologizing now, but if you ever leave me again, I will summon lightning just to stop your heart. - you said, your voice muffled by her skin.

- Oh, sweetheart, I will never leave you again. And I won't stop apologizing either. In fact, I have a lot of ideas on how I can make it up to you. - she said and you knew she was smiling.

- I'm only interested in it if by that you meant a lot of candy. - you said, finally breaking the hug to look her in the eye again.

- I can definetely get you candy, but that's not what I had in mind. - she said, her eyes shining with excitement as she took a step back, taking your hand in hers. - May I have this dance, Y/N/N?

You couldn't help but smile. When the two of you were younger and couldn't attend the balls the older grisha were invited too, you used to stay in the hallway where you could listen to the music they were playing and ask Zoya at least a thousand times to dance with you. It warmed your heart that she remembered.

- There's no music. - you answered, but your arms were already wrapped in her neck.

- We don't need it. - she said, pulling you close by the waist and making you giggle.

- You're right. - your voice was soft and calm, the tears you cried early already in the past. - I have all I need right here.

Zoya blushed and you smiled as she twirled you around your room, your laugh being the only music the two of you listened to, and for that moment, you forgot all about your loneliness and your pain. You were filled with love and joy, and you knew it wouldn't last forever, but at least you weren't alone. Facing the bad things with someone by your side was easier, and when Zoya hugged your waist firmly and kissed your cheek, you couldn't think of a problem the two of you couldn't solve.

You were home now, and nothing would ruin that.

[luxuriouscharms]

I can’t help but love you (Aleksander Morozova x fem!reader)

Pairing: The Darkling x Special Grisha!reader

Universe: The Grishaverse/Shadow and bone

Summary: He realises he’s in love with you and so do you.

Key note: Please play the listed songs for better experience. Also the striked words are the songs to be played, if followed, a better experience is assured.

Songs:  1. Cinnamon Girl (Lana Del Rey) 2. Cherry (Lana Del Rey) 3. War of Hearts [Acoustic] (Ruelle)

—————————————————————————————

cinnamon girl

The room was filled with people, laughing, talking and enjoying themselves. She moved a dirty blonde strip of her hair from her face and looked around. This was all familiar in a new way. A  way she has never been in. Maybe the punishment to her sins aren’t that bad if this is it. She took a glass of wine and sipped it slowly taking in the details of the room. The music changed into a slow one and she noticed people getting into couples, women having one of their hands on the shoulders of men and the other in their upper arm.  

“Excuse-me, ma’am” she heard a masculine voice next to her. She turned to look at a man, atleast 4 inches taller than her, his brown hair slicked back neatly smiling at her.

“May I help you,” she responded back in the best “elegant” voice she could. This new cover has been quite the task for her, as being an elegant woman was the exact opposite she was told to do her whole life.

“It would quite please me if I could have this dance with you,” he told her, raising his hand, asking for her permission.

“Oh, that’s sweet of you, but i’ve never danced before,” she said him her truth as her lips went into a thin line.

“Well, that will have to change tonight,” he smiled and took her hand in his and placed her other one in her shoulder as he slowly led her to the dance floor.

“Oh well, as long as you dont charge me for the damage i cause in your legs,” she shrugged as she gave a playful smile and let him lead her.

Now, who would not love such a punishment. It was true that she had never danced before, she never had the chance. She doubts most Grisha gets the chance to, afterall they grow up being taught to protect and fight. She smiled at where she was now but soon it had to be ruined as people heard screams outside the room. The music muffled the noise but it was still audible to hear them.

She froze as she looked at outside of the building. It was getting darker and darker every second and it could only mean one thing.

He was back.

Soon, the room darkened and a figure came through the shadows. Everyone knew who it was, it was The Darkling. The same man who destructed many families of people in the very same room. Of hers too.

cherry

She looked at his arising form with mixed emotions in her eyes. He came out of the dark and searched around the room when his eyes finally met hers. His grey orbs then skimmed to her hands that were on top of the man next to her. Her quick instinct was to take them off him making the man responsible for her reactions smirk. He looked around once more and swiftly moved his hands, she realised what he was doing and screamed, “No.” as her eyes widened.

In a swift move, her hands moved in a V shape and a shield arise from her hands shielding the whole room from his dark presence. He was moved back in a gush of air due to the excess use of power as his hands shielded his face.  He looked back at her and said,

“This is the only way to do it, remove the shield and we shall disappear.” His statement rang through her ears as she fumed at him. He had the audacity to do this just after killing millions and making her having to disguise herself for his consequences.

“I can erase their memory of our presence.” She stated as she looked into his eyes. His eyes searched hers in amusement and soon his lips broke into a playful yet proud smile as he questioned,

“You can do that now, huh? Well the make it fast, we’ve got places to be and things to discuss.”

She looked at him one last time before moving her hands, as green light broke out of her palms, her eyes emitting a bright shade of green. Soon, everyone in the room fell down into a slumber except for herself and the dark presence across her. He took a look around him as he strolled closer to her,

“What did you do,” he asked looking into her eyes as he came closer than he should but it wasn’t new for her.

“A litte trick that i learned a few weeks ago,” she told him looking back at his eyes. He look at her and sighed.

He took a strand of her hair falling on her face and said,

“That’s not what i asked. What did u do to your hair.”

Realisation swimmed in her eyes and she caught his arm and snatched it away from her face, from her now blonde hair.

“A consequence of your actions.” She stated glaring at his eyes. His eyes moved as he looked at hers and he stepped back,

“You look absolutely gorgeous, but put my colour back on” He whispered before starting to move towards “the places they have to be”.

She looked at his walking figure and remembered the pitch black hair she once had. Something about it always made him feel superior, one of the reasons she loved having to colour her hair to disguise herself. Especially when she could simply do it and blame it on him.

She slowly strolled behind him forgetting the life she had just a few minutes earlier. What else could be done for he is here now.

As soon as she skipped to his pace, his hands moved in a swift motion as darkness engulfed them both. They both were now in a place that looked like a hut but with better interior. She looked out the window and say darkness and shadows of creatures walking around, screeching and flying.  She realised where they were and her voice was caught in her throat. If her little trick was amazing this was terrific, both in a huge and a bad way.

“Who was it.” She turned to him, her eyes confused as she watched him remove his coat.

“Who’s who.” She questioned back at him as her brows formed into a frown. He looked up at her and murmured slowly, “The guy you were with.” Her gaze turned more confused at his sudden interest.

“A gentleman who was willing to teach me how to slow dance,” she said.

“Did you enjoy it?” He asked, his lips curling into a teasing smile.

“Not long enough for me to actually learn it, because you just had to interrupt,” she said coldly to him.

He chuckled at her as his head went low and back again to looking at her.

“Well why don’t you spend some more time with him for a while,” he asked at her smiling.

She frowned more in confusion as he continued,

“Surely, you can still get into you fantasy lands right.” he said.

She looked down for a moment and realised he was referring to her ability to reimagine realities. She can imagine herself in clouds while simply sitting in her bed. She slowly looked up at him and saw his hand raised towards her. She hesitated for a minute but her heart did not as her hand reached on top of his palm. Within the blink of her eye, they were outside among the monsters he created out of shadows. He noticed at her wary look and said,

“They will be of no disturbance,” She turned to look at him and asked, “what about the musics.”

He smiled, as his other hand removed the wooden stick that had her hair in a neat bun, making her hair flow down, like she usually had her hair when it was black and placed his hand on her hips bringing her closer as he whispered,

“Why don’t you bring the very same one you were listening to,” His eyes moved in a quick movement looking into hers, wanting to take in both her emerald ones.

war of hearts (acoustic)

She closed her eyes as he lowered his head, making both their foreheads to meet. Soon, slow piano flowed  into their ears and his legs started to lead both their legs.

“Come to me in the night hours

I will wait for you”

Never once did his eyes leave hers even when they were closed. She slowly opened her eyes and tried to put herself into the fantasy land where the very same man she owns a deep hatred in her heart would be that man that managed to steal her eyes even if it’s only for seconds.

“Thoughts of you consume”

But it was not happening. She couldn’t take her eyes off of him no matter how much she tried.  She couldn’t go back to that ball, to that man. They both remained dancing, even though surrounded by darkness and monsters they were still captivated into each other’s souls, their eyes being the doorway…

“I can’t help but love you,

even though I try not to”

Her eyes skimmed through the scars in his face, an aftermath. He was in pain, she could see it. His head was crippling in pain, a pain as a consequence of consumption of power beyond one should hold. A pain that can only be cured by more absorption of the very same darkness he holds.

“Stay with me, a little longer”

She was scared of what she was doing while he was fooled that she was being in fantasies of another man while dancing with him. The eyes of her held empathy, he convinced himself it was not for him and that she wasn’t looking at him. But something in his heart craved for the look in her eyes, the eyes that held so much light in them, ironic to what he was.

“Oh, oh, oh”

As every second passed, his pain suppressed through the music. For a second he thought it was the music healing it but when he looked at her glowing eyes, he realised it was her doing. Unconsciously, she was holding his pain back which made him realise she wasn’t in her fantasies and was very much present in the moment with him. “What did you do.” He asked her, as his pain was nothing but a memory now.

“A consequence of my mistake,” she stated.

“I can’t help but love you, even though I try not to”

His walls broke, as his eyes opened the doorway and gave a peek of his soul to her. The shattered one, terribly shattered than his face. He realised that he had let his guard down and regained his composure, stopping his legs from moving to the music. Their eyes, never leaving each others was now holding an intense look. A stubborn one, an interaction they would have never imagined with each other.

Just for once, he craved her. He craved her eyes to look at him the same way, their intertwined hands to be stitched together. He craved for him to be able to touch more of her and for the first time he was greedy for something that wasn’t power and it made him fear for what shall come next. For what she was made of.

“I can’t help but want oceans to part

Because i’m overcome this war of hearts”

[littlebugs]

AKENO MENZIES HEADCANONS

warnings: virtually none, dating (whadya expect) fluff, maybe a little angsty but all of my writing is sfw!

rafs bloo notes : first time writing headcanons on this platform so be nice (:

aki is the cuddliest little teddy bear ever... nothing else to be said

even though aki doesn't buy himself a lot of stuff, he would definitely buy all sorts of things that are important to you, even if it's just a little pack of sticky notes (:

maximus wolfe is the most jealous guy on the face of the earth (assuming you take audges place) max straight out hates it- but he would most defintley get mad if max were to ever get mad at you.

aki would always be around, somewhere near you

hes the type of guy who only takes redeye flights and only on his private jet

night owl, late riser. will watch you fall asleep and make sure you're tucked in meticulously

super smart. helps you anytime with schoolwork. (not that you actually do it lmao)

always hanging out together at dumbo hall because tbh where else do you go?

you two definietley do ballroom dancing together

[simp2537]

heyyy I love ur writing and I was wondering if you could write femreader x darkling . Their already in an established relationship and haven’t seen eachother in a while bc alina keeps taking kirgans time with her training keeping him away from femreader . It’s gotten so bad they are driven crazy from the sexual frustration (emphasise on kirigans frustration ) can u please include dry humping and them getting walked in on later .

thank youuuu

Tension

a/n : Love all Aleksander requests, but I’m still new at smut so sorry if this isn’t the greatest. Hinting at some Zoya x reader but it’s just used to make to make Aleksander jealous. I’m also using my Tidemaker! Reader for this from my other oneshot, link below . It’s kinda a series but no real cohesive storyline yet.

Touch her and die

Warnings: dry humping, getting caught, soft dom! Aleksander, praise kink, degradation kink, bratty reader, jealousy, Alina hate

Aleksander Morozova x fem! Reader

Y/n wiped the sweat from her brow with a huff. Zoya laid on the ground before her panting and out of breath. She offered her hand to her friends and with her help Zoya pulled herself to her feet. Slowly Y/n began to look around for her lover, Aleksander but he was nowhere to be seen. Zoya smiled softly as she pat her friends back.

“He’s not here! Why isn’t he here!” Zoya sighed softly at her friends. Since the arrival of Alina Starkov, the general hadn’t had much time for her. Aleksander was meant to go riding with Y/n on this loving morning before the party later but Alina asked for his help.

“I haven’t spent anytime with him since she got here.” Y/n bitterly mumbled. Zoya rubbed her back, sore from being thrown in the ground moments before.

“Want help making him jealous?” Y/n raised a brow with a smirk. The pair slowly made their way into the little palace. Aleksander walked down the hallway catching Y/n’s eyes. Before he could reach her Alina and Genya appeared. Alina quickly taking his attention from Y/n, him sends her a sorrowful look.

Y/n bit her lip and shot the pair a nasty glare. She turned to Zoya a dangerous smile in her face. She slipped her arm in Zoya’s pulling her close to her body.

“Let’s go get ready.”

Y/n sipped her wine with a smirk, her arm lazily dropped over Zoya’s waist. The pair had matched their clothes for the nights party to each others. Zoya wore a teal dress with a skirt that flowed like the wind, while Y/n’s dress was a darker blue that fell like a raging waterfall.

Aleksander’s gaze was darkened in the pair as they laughed at whatever Fedyor had said. Alina had been at his side the entire night, unsure of what to do. Aleksander eyes rested on Y/n’s form as she spoke with some random noble man.

He watched as she lead towards Zoya, whispering softly in her ear. Never would he doubt his Tidemakers faith to him but the way her arm was around Zoya waist caused his blood to boil. He could see her bratty smirk, he watched as she slowly pull Zoya away towards the dance floor.

New music began to play, fast and sensual music. Y/n and Zoya slowly began to dance together, Aleksander swore Y/n was trying to kill him. Her hips swayed and her hands were firmly on Zoya’s curves.

That little mix- Aleksander thought as he made eyes contact with Y/n. She continued to dance to the music, her body moving in an erotic fashion. His first tightened around his glass as Ivan and Fedyor laughed softly at the pair.

Y/n continued to lead Zoya as the pair danced, the music only adding to Aleksander’s frustration. With each beat of the music Zoya moved her body against Y/n with a smirk. Y/n closed her eyes with a knowing look on her face.

As she moved she heard him, his boots against the dance floor. She felt Zoya move away and his firm hands on her moving hips. Her back was pulled against his chest and she opened her eyes.

“General.” Y/n greeted. Aleksander didn’t answer her, his face was tight. His dark irises pierced into her e/c one. He pulled her away rather quickly without any care for who could see.

As Aleksander pulled her, Y/n shot a look to Zoya. Zoya smirk and watched with sharp eyes as the pair disappeared.

……………

The door to Aleksander’s study slammed shut as he all but pushed Y/n inside. She could help but giggle as she leaned against his desk. His eyes were consumed with lust and desire.

“Do you find this amusing?” He towered her framed. The need in his eyes was enough to make her laugh.

“I must admit it does.” His hands slammed on both sides of her as he pushed her legs apart. He stood in between them, his bugle against his clothes heat.

“You have no idea how badly you’ve hurt me these past weeks. You’ve been pulled away from me at every chance that stupid girl has. You’ve left me alone for weeks and-

Before Y/n could continue her rant Aleksander was pulling her into a passionate kiss. His hands clutched at her face pulling her closer. His tongue invaded her mouth and she let him take over. When they finally pulled away Y/n gasped for air.

“My poor sweet tidemaker, I’ve left you alone too long have I?” The condescension was not lost on her but her cunt throbbed too much for her to care.

“I’m sorry milaya, let me take care of you.” His words went right to her core as he lifted her into his thigh. He pushed her dress away directing her core to run against his thigh. She whined softly as she dragged her hips long him thigh.

The sleek of her panties clung to her as she moaned softly. Aleksander’s lips trailed down her neck, kissing and sucking on all the exposed skin. His hands slowly trailed to her waist gripping at her flesh.

Her moans echoed through the hall as his plush lips sucked under her chin. Y/n’s hands clutched onto his kefta as he used his own hands to help her rub on his thigh.

“Such pretty noises you make.” His nose nudged against hers as he kissed her. “Are you close.”

She nodded her head as he pulled down the top of her dress. He sucked upon her exposed breast, dragging his teeth around her sensitive bud.

Y/n allowed her hooded eyes to drift to the slightly opened door. There she was, that stupid sun summoner. Alina’s eyes met her own as she panted. Alina’s eyes were wide, her cheek flush with jealousy and embarrassment. Y/n moaned loudly as Aleksander moved her hips against his knee.

Her head gently fell back as she cried out. The knot in her broken as pleasure rippled though her. Aleksander’s lips trail up her neck, biting softly in some places. Slowly he pulled away hosting Y/n on the table. He gently kissed her swollen lips, cradling her face in his hands.

“I apologize for neglecting you milaya.” He whispered softly. A giggle escaped Y/n’s lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his softly. All was well now. Alina saw that only she would ever be so close to Aleksander.

“I love you.” He chuckled softly, kissing under her jaw.

“And I love you most.”

[swanimagines]

GRISHAVERSE AO3 SERIESES

EVERYTHING FOR GRISHAVERSE

GRISHA TRILOGY

Aleksander Morozova/The Darkling

Alina Starkov

Mal Oretsev

Genya Safin

Nikolai Lantsov

Zoya Nazyalensky (coming)

THE CROWS

Kaz Brekker

Inej Ghafa

Jesper Fahey

Wylan Van Eck/Wylan Hendriks

Nina Zenik

Matthias Helvar

---

(Any of the other characters don't have any requests written nor pending as for now, so I'm unable to have serieses for them as AO3 requires you to have at least one oneshot written to be able to add it to a series, and I can't promise serieses for characters who don't have requests pending/I have no ideas of my own for them)

For anyone who's concerned, THESE ARE NOT ONESHOT COLLECTIONS, they are made using AO3's "series" feature.

If you want to be informed about new fics for Grishaverse or its individual characters, create an AO3 account and subscribe or bookmark any of those serieses listed above. There are buttons at the top right corner for those, or on top on mobile. I do not do Tumblr taglists anymore.

Subscribe button highlighted:

[sophierequests]

nikolai lantsov

Navigation┃Main Masterlist┃Request

Angst: ☾ ┃ Fluff: ♡ ┃ Hurt/Comfort: ☆ ┃ Smut: ♤

“Nikolai had been told that hope was dangerous, had been warned of it many times. But he’d never believed that. Hope was the wind that came from nowhere to fill your sails and carry you home.”

oneshots

needy and tired (poly!nikolai x reader x david) (♡) → Even with two partners, getting attention can sometimes be a bit difficult.

“And I actually need to focus right now.” he started, earning a frown from you, “Why don’t you go and annoy David? That’s why there are three of us after all.”

laughing on the outside, crying on the inside (☾) → Their relationship wasn't going to work out anyway, so why did leaving it behind feel so wrong?

“Watch where you’re going. You may be the prince’s whore, but in the end, you’re not worth more than a mere commoner. I wouldn’t be proud of being Lantsov’s mistress.” Her voice was harsh and laced with straight venom. The other Grisha gave you mocking smiles, straightening their backs and continuing to walk away, leaving you in shock.

you take my breath away (♡) → What happens to the oh so charming Nikolai Lantsov when he starts crushing on someone that - quite literally - takes away his breath?

The Squaller groaned, hauling the papers towards herself again. The two of them had been wasting their time in his sitting room for hours on end, flipping through files and files of eligible royal women that could become Nikolai’s future wife. It was hell - for both of them - but Ravka needed a queen. So as king, it was his duty to find someone that could rule alongside him.

cold feet (♡) → Right before the annual winter ball, you start getting cold feet.

“Darling, have you seen my…oh.” Nikolai entered your shared bedroom, his eyes landing on you in an instant. He could have sworn that he felt his jaw drop when he saw you. 

lay my curses out to rest (☆) → When the curses take a toll on him, he needs someone to be at his side.

“Let’s hope that the demon really is that simple-minded…” Zoya grumbled, giving you a telling nod and spurring her horse into a hasty trot. You and the twins followed.

two-parters

i want you to want me pt. 1┃pt. 2 (☾ / ♡) → The reader and Nikolai are supposed to get married soon in order to please their parents. But is marriage really the right path, when they visibly can't stand each other? Or is the apparent hate just a protective mechanism? Who knows. (I do.)

Nikolai, however, dropped his polite demeanour, once his gaze met yours. He scowled, rolling his eyes dramatically, as he watched Zoya move forward to hug you. The group surrounding him seemed to be focused on their own discussion now, completely disregarding your appearance.

the one you think about as you lie awake pt. 1┃pt. 2 (♡) → After being friends for almost her entire life, the reader never thought that her and Nikolai would ever be anything more than that. But after a new strange feeling settles between the two of them, they both have to learn how to deal with it.

The man in question chuckled, shaking his head with a grin. He sat hunched over his desk, looking over some half-finished translations, which he definitely did not write, judging by the neat handwriting on the paper. From where you were sitting, you could see every little feature that would normally be almost unnoticeable.

in the bright lilac light pt. 1┃pt. 2 (☾ / ☆ / ♡) → After Nikolai gets badly injured, the reader throws all caution to the wind to go and see him. Is there still a chance for him to survive?

You felt sick. Violently sick. At this point, you would have preferred hunching over the toilet to empty the contents of your stomach than obsessively rereading the slightly crumpled-up letter you held on so firmly. It didn't matter how many times your eyes skimmed over the neatly written lines, the words didn't magically distort and somehow create a different sentence. They stayed the exact same.

there will be rain pt. 1┃pt. 2 (☾ / ☆) → A funeral, a coronation and quite possibly another funeral.

Things between Nikolai and Vasily had been going well, great even, with the occasional bumps and disagreements. After their short-lived argument on whether or not he was to invite Fjerdan delegates to the crowning ceremony, their relationship bounced back pretty quickly. You hadn’t heard of any major arguments between them until now – the evening before the coronation.

headcanons

nikolai x reader x david dating headcanons (♡)

[bookworm-center]

Hi my bro, saw your Grishaverse one shot request post!! Would like a Nikolai x reader 😍😍 could you make it one where:

Reader and Nikolai have been friends for many years and it’s blossomed into romance (but neither admits it). Reader is a talented assassin, who works as Ravka’s spy. She gets captured by Fjerdan druskelle in an attempt to get info from her about Ravka’s weaknesses. Nikolai’s army brings her back, and he visits her while she’s recuperating :).

Thanks! And all the best in your writing!

Nikolai Lantsov x Fem!Reader

Ravka's Injured Spy

In which the king of Ravka's best "friend" is captured and he does all he can to help.

Author's Note: Hi! Dude, you had such a good request, I'm just a super slow writer. I've been wanting to write a Nikolai oneshot! Hopefully I can get him right. I also made the reader a Tidemaker, for a little flair. Slight spoilers for KoS and RoW! This ended up being a really long oneshot... Working on my other Kaz request, sorry it's taking so long. 😓

Water drips down from the ceiling. The drops fall on the ground in succession. Y/n counts the minutes as they pass, ticking them off mentally.

The Fjerdans caught her. A little too late, of course, but they didn't know that she knew. She knew the secret to the Fjerdan army. And the secret to Nikolai's lineage. It had always been a rumor but now she knew the truth.

She twitches her fingers, wishing that her bindings would allow her to still use her powers. The water droplets waver mid-air, but come no closer. She wasn't that skilled of a Tidemaker. She could do the basic things like everyone else, but she hadn't studied past that. Her skills lied in other things.

Her rattled breath comes out in cold clouds, hands shivering. Saints, what she would give to be an Inferi. The room grows warmer, like her Saints actually heard and answered her pleas.

The door is slammed open, the shilloute of a figure illuminated in a glowing rim light. Zoya Nazyalensky, the famed General of Ravka. She had come to save her. "Saints. You look terrible." Zoya announces. Y/n had never been happier to hear her harsh voice.

"It's nice to see you too Zoya." Y/n mumbles through her freezing lips.

Something like the ghost of a smile glimpses over Zoya's face before disappearing. "Let's get you out of here."

Nikolai slams his fists down on the table. "What do you mean she isn't healed?"

Genya shrinks back a little. She'd never heard Nikolai be so defensive before, but his best friend was injured. "I'm doing my best Nikolai. We have our most talented Healers with her." She steels her voice and the sound of it makes Nikolai calm down slightly.

"I'm sorry." He hesitates. "Can I visit her?"

Genya nods. "Zoya's with her right now in her room."

As Nikolai approaches, there's a shriek from the room. It's full of pain and agony and Nikolai's heart nearly stops in his tracks. He dashes toward the door, as fast as he can that still looks like a friendly thing. The door is shut and locked, but it only takes a few raps on the wood for someone to open the door.

Zoya steps out, clutching a hand to her chest. There's a faint glimmer of tears on her cheeks, something he wouldn't have noticed if he wasn't scouring her face for any sign that his "friend" was still alive.

Another yell pierces the silence and that's when Nikolai manages the courage to speak. "How is she?" He's unused to his voice being so weak and frail but without his partner- the one person who knew everything he told her and even the things he hadn't- Nikolai isn't sure if he has the power to stay strong.

Just like that, Zoya's facade of harsh strength plasters itself back onto her face. "She's still alive. They're trying their best, but she hasn't woken up yet." Zoya pauses, studying Nikolai's expression, like she's not sure how much more bad information he can bear. "They aren't sure if she'll make it much longer."

Nikolai freezes, blood running cold. With that final statement, Zoya walks off and Nikolai rushes in. With a cordial bow the Healers step away, going to grab more supplies or maybe for Nikolai's privacy.

He holds Y/n's limp hand with his own. Her expression looks so calm and peaceful, Nikolai would have expected she was sleeping, if not for the blood seeping through the bandages around her. There were too many injuries: stitches sealing the smaller cuts, thick bandage around her arms and legs.

"I'm sorry," is the first thing he says. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, I'm sorry I sent you into danger, I'm sorry I couldn't-" his ramble breaks off into a sob. "I'm sorry I wasn't a good enough friend." It's the slightest bit of a lie; Y/n had never been just a friend to him, always a little more but not quite lovers. He hadn't had the confidence to tell her.

Y/n moves her fingers, stiffly, but still alive. "You don't have to be sorry." Her voice whispers. It's cracked and tired, but hers nonetheless. She blinks her eyes open and meets Nikolai's gaze. "It's my fault for being foolish." Nikolai doesn't know how to respond for once, so he doesn't.

That's when Y/n tells him the truth. Even when injured, she still serves Ravka, still serves her king. "You aren't the right heir to the throne."

"You don't need to tell me now. Rest first." Nikolai mumbles quietly.

Y/n shakes her head. "Let me finish. It doesn't matter if you aren't the rightful ruler."

"The people won't approve."

"Maybe. Maybe not. It doesn't matter to me. I will always care for you, whether you are the king of Ravka, Sturmhond the privateer, or just some person who history will forget. I will always care and I will always remember you."

Nikolai chuckles. "Well, you can't be the only one making dramatic speeches." Then his tone becomes more serious. "I will always be by your side as well. I know you are Grisha, and that means you will live longer, but as long as I am alive, know that I care." And I will love you from my grave, Nikolai wants to add, but doesn't. He wants to save his confession for when Y/n's healed.

[bloom-into-blue]

so many people following me already, haha. i'm already thinking about writing another oneshot soon, maybe, as a welcome gift to you all. drummer!zoya's been in my mind, i'll be honest

[esssteee]

rage against the dying of the light

T | Oneshot | 3.5k | F/M

The moment he touches her, naked skin against naked skin, something unfolds―beyond the warmth of his fingers, beyond the frenetic nerves pulsing with pleasure at the first human contact after so many days without, it is the wave of immense power roiling within her that steals her breath away. As if called by a voice not her own, low and soft, its timbre resonating as she stifles the cry that wants to tear out of her heaving lungs, it submerges everything else.

With his touch, fear morphs into rage.

One fateful encounter between two strangers, both fleeing the threat of widespreaded hate and violence. From this meeting will create a new path, a new future―and a ripple, unbeknownst to those at its heart, leading to the heresy which shall leave its indelible mark upon the world.

― rage against the dying of the light, a lusander/shadow and bone fic for @mal-zoya​!

As requested in their prompt for Luda and Aleksander’s first meeting, here is my Grisha Rarepair Exchange gift! Hope you will like this little fic as much as I had fun writing it <3

[marvelmusing]

Happy 2023!

In Another Life Request.

I miss the reader with the gang. Maybe a oneshot of the reader being a matchmaker to Zoya and Nikolai or to Genya and David.

Happy 2023!! 🎉

I already have a little idea for this, which I started a while ago, so hopefully we’ll have some more In Another Life soon (the only time I’ll be free to write will be some time at the end of the week - fingers crossed)

[heliads]

hey :)

i really like your blog and i was wondering if you could do a zoya x fem!reader where like zoya saves reader from a mission gone wrong when they were younger and ever since then y/n is zoya's biggest fan, she's always complimenting zoya and blushing in her presence and giving her little gifts made by hand... zoya finds all of this incredible irritating and she's always ignoing her presence in a very zoya nazyalensky way, untill one day she finds y/n crying and bleeding and feels like she could quite literally murder half the little palace, with the iconic "who did this to you" and a veeeeery protective and touchy (like, making sure reader is always close enough) zoya, please <3333

who wouldn't be zoya's biggest fan tbh

masterlist

Zoya Nazyalensky is not alone.

She’s known it for a while, actually. Her mornings start mostly the same way, anyway, so at this point, she’s got nothing to worry about. Besides, her idea of personal space in the Little Palace was mostly just an illusion. No matter where she goes, Zoya will never be fully unattended. 

It used to bother her. Still does, actually. Zoya is not a girl nor a god, just a soldier. She’d like the others to recognize that, but until then, too many people will still follow her around to figure out what to do next. Sometimes they’re looking for tips on how to master their grasp of the Small Science. Other times, they’re clamoring for an amplifier or some other way of achieving great power.

Right now, though, Zoya’s little stalker isn’t after any sort of violence or conquest. Zoya allows the sensation of eyes on her back to trouble her for a few minutes longer, then sighs, pushes in her chair, and poses a question to the bookcase right behind her.

“Is there something you need, or are you just going to stand there all morning?”

There’s a brief silence, just long enough for Zoya to wonder if she was wrong and she’s well and truly lost it after all this time. Then, the bookcase starts giggling back at her.

“Sorry, sorry! I got distracted. Coming out now.”

There’s a rustling sound, and then a girl appears out of the shadows of the library. She’s beaming at Zoya like she’s all of the Saints trapped in one physical form, and Zoya fights the urge to groan.

“I got you something,” the girl announces, and holds out something for Zoya’s inspection.

Zoya peers at the green stem, the mass of bright petals, and belatedly realizes what it is. A wilting wildflower, probably freshly caught this morning. Saints, and she was just starting to think that maybe this little ordeal could end.

Zoya stares at the girl; the girl stares back at Zoya. Tired eyes meet wide ones. Zoya waits, and when it’s made abundantly clear that the girl won’t be going anywhere unless Zoya accepts her offering, she bites back a scream of irritation and plucks the flower from the girl’s hand.

“Thank you,” she manages.

The girl’s smile broadens, if that was even possible at all. “Of course!” She chirps, and disappears back into the shelves once more.

Not willing to take the risk that the girl could still be watching her from some crack or crevice of the shelves again, Zoya grabs her things and puts them in a small bag, heading out of the dark library and into the bright sunshine. She’s about to shove the accursed flower into the bottom of her bag, where the petals can rip and tear to their heart’s content, when someone interrupts her. Not an admirer, this time. A friend, and one Zoya is glad to see.

“If you’re not going to appreciate that wildflower, can I have it?”

Zoya glances over at the approaching Genya Safin, one eyebrow raised in disdain. “You want this?”

Genya laughs. “Some of us would be happy to receive flowers, you know. You’re treating that thing like it has a death wish.”

“I think it does,” Zoya harrumphs, “or its giver does, at least.”

Genya presses her fingers to her lips, trying to hide another laugh. “Can I guess that you’ve been visited by Y/N L/N again?”

“Who else?” Zoya groans.

Who else indeed. Genya knows what Zoya knows, what the rest of them at the Little Palace know, for that matter:  Y/N L/N is absolutely obsessed with Zoya. It’s not Zoya’s fault, not really. It started a long time ago, back before Zoya knew better.

Zoya had been minding her own business on a scheduled trip outside the walls of Os Alta when she’d stumbled upon a girl getting attacked by a band of thieves. Zoya could sense strange currents in the air, and realized that the girl was Grisha, which was likely why she was set upon by thugs. Zoya had quickly handled the situation, sending the thieves rocketing through the air to connect with a brick wall with enough force to knock them unconscious.

When she’d checked to see if the girl was relatively unharmed, though, Zoya had been confused to notice the beaming smile on her face. For someone who’d suffered a few blows, the girl was way too thrilled to care about her injuries in the slightest. The only thing on the girl’s mind was Zoya, her rescuer.

Zoya had brushed the whole matter aside. Things like this happen all the time; Grisha who’ve had to hide their gifts to blend in at home often fixate on the first powerful Grisha they see. It certainly didn’t hurt that Zoya had saved the girl’s life. Most likely, the whole thing would blow over once the girl stayed at the Little Palace a little longer, got some more experience under her belt, and learned to fear Zoya just like all the other Grisha.

The girl Zoya had saved was Y/N, though, and that moment of peace Zoya anticipated never came. Instead, Y/N started following Zoya around, pestering her with insignificant questions and presenting her with random gifts like the wildflower from this morning. Zoya couldn’t practice her gifts without Y/N falling over herself to compliment something asinine like Zoya’s precision or form.

It was ridiculous, that much was certain. Zoya’s certain that the other Grisha talk about it behind her back, how Zoya’s managed to get a cult following of one by pure accident. Zoya would like it to stop, but no matter how many times she’s tried to avoid Y/N or discourage her from spending so much time around Zoya, nothing has ever worked. Y/N’s idolatry remains just as strong as ever.

Genya has heard a great deal of Zoya’s griping on the matter, which is why she’s able to grin as she twirls the wildflower between her fingers. “You know, you’re going to have to accept this at some point. Y/N’s not going away any time soon. You might as well just learn to live with the attention.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it,” Zoya says, chin jutted up, and she most certainly does have something to say about it.

Genya just smiles to herself, as if she knows something Zoya doesn’t. As if she could understand a fraction of Zoya’s indignation on the matter. No one does, that’s why Y/N hasn’t yet learned to just stay away. It’s insufferable, but, much like Genya has threatened, it is starting to seem like something Zoya must adapt to instead of forcing aside.

It does seem like an immovable fact of Zoya’s life. Y/N shows up most mornings with a saccharine word or petty offering, disappearing as quickly as she appears. No matter what, she’s always there.

Until, one morning, she isn’t. Zoya notices the girl’s absence immediately. She didn’t think she would, but– well, maybe it’s just because she’s so glad to be alone at last. Yes, that must be it. That, and no other reason.

Zoya goes about her business as per usual, but Y/N still fails to show. Not only that, but Zoya’s starting to attract stares. People are whispering on the edges of Zoya’s consciousness, just loud enough that she can’t help but notice.

Zoya runs into Genya again, and she can’t help but ask what all the fuss is about. Genya looks at her, surprised, and says that she would have thought Zoya would have heard about it. You know, the morning’s incident.

Y/N’s face pops into Zoya’s face unbidden, but she manages to tamp down the memory before it can cause her too much trouble. “What do you mean, the morning’s incident? What happened?”

Genya shrugs liberally. “Just some nonsense in some of the Grisha quarters. One of those roving gangs of mean girls– you know the ones, we all do– they decided to pull a prank on one of the other Grisha. It was something stupid like collapsing her bed while she was sleeping or something so she’d wake up in the middle of the night. Only problem was, the girl was annoyed, obviously, and the girls said they felt threatened and they attacked her.”

“Saints,” Zoya said, “what kind of nonsense is that? They should all know better than to pull a stunt like that. I can’t believe no one told me until now.”

Genya offers up a wry grin. “Probably because they were afraid you’d punish the lot of them. As you should, by the way. I am surprised you didn’t get word of it, though. It involved your little follower.”

Zoya stops walking abruptly, feeling her blood course like ice through her veins. “Was Y/N hurt?” Then, “Who were her attackers, exactly?”

The wrath of Zoya Nazyalensky is something that not even the bravest amongst the Grisha would trigger upon fear of death. The look in her eyes is something murderous indeed, and as Zoya draws near her targets, Grisha are quite literally leaping out of the way so as to not attract her indignation for even a moment.

Zoya’s work is also precise. She does what she wants when she wants. And, when she wants to cause pain, she can do that with great capability. The girls who hurt Y/N– well, they won’t be trying anything like that ever again, and not just because they’ll be under the care of the Little Palace Healers for at least a week.

It feels good. Shouldn’t, because Zoya is far more skilled than them and it barely took any of her energy to beat them, but it does. Something loud in her chest is roaring its approval. With that taken care of, Zoya turns to the next task on her list:  namely, making sure that Y/N L/N is alright after all.

Zoya finds her easily enough. The girl has a few favorite spots on the grounds of the Little Palace, one of them in the shade of an apple tree farther away from the main buildings. Zoya finds Y/N there, but judging by the unsurprised look on the girl’s face when Zoya stops in front of her, she was expected.

Zoya eyes her gingerly. “Are you hurt?”

“Not too badly,” Y/N says. “Mainly just my pride.”

Zoya smirks. “Trust me, they’re far worse off. In body and in pride.”

A pause. The wind whistles through the branches of the tree above, and it’s funny, Y/N’s never had a problem in coming up with random things to say, but they’re absolutely silent now.

Then:  “Why would you do that?” Y/N asks softly. So softly that Zoya almost doesn’t hear, except she does. She hears everything.

Zoya blinks in surprise. “What do you mean?”

Y/N’s laugh is jaded. It actually hurts Zoya to hear it; the thought that Y/N, sunny, cheerful Y/N, could harbor that much pain in her is unnatural. “I’m not blind, Zoya. I know you don’t like me. I know I vex you and whatnot, I know I’m overwhelming in my hero worship or whatever. I see that when you look at me. I pretend otherwise, but– I know. No one expected you to save me, not again.”

Zoya feels as if she has been struck by a clap of lightning. Thunder booms in her temples, drowning out any sort of reasonable thought. “You thought I hated you?”

Y/N gives her a very watery glare. “You were never happier than when I was out of your sight. The impression was solid.”

Zoya runs a hand through her already unruly hair. “I didn’t– I mean, I did, but– Saints, Y/N, I don’t anymore.”

As she says it, she realizes it’s true. Zoya does not hate Y/N L/N in the slightest. In fact, the very moment that she found out Y/N had been hurt, her entire system shut down with the only goal to get revenge. It’s like protecting Y/N is supposed to come first before everything. It’s like how it was when Zoya saved Y/N’s life the first time around.

When she looks back at Y/N, she realizes Y/N is smiling. A real smile, too, not like the polite one she’d forced when Zoya told her that she’d handled the other girls. “And how long did it take you to admit that?”

“Not that long,” Zoya says, feeling the odd urge to blush. It’s an odd emotion for her to feel, and she swears that Y/N picks up on it, because her smile broadens even more.

“Alright, then,” Y/N says, “Are you going to help me up? I’m sure I’m still injured.”

Zoya manages a smile, extending a hand which Y/N takes. For a moment after she stands, Y/N remains there still, fingers interlocked with Zoya’s, smiling with that same warmth in her eyes. Zoya doesn’t want the moment to end; it does anyway, time has never been her friend nor that of anyone else, but it’s better afterwards somehow. It belongs to her, these memories, everything she does from here on out, and Zoya has an idea that she’d like to change quite a few things indeed. Perhaps she’ll start with never letting go.

grishaverse tag list: @rogueanschel, @deadreaderssociety, @cameronsails, @mxltifxnd0m, @story-scribbler, @retvenkos, @mayfieldss, @amortensie-moved, @gods-fools-heroes, @bl606dy, @auggie2000, @baju69, @crazyhearttragedy

[duchessvultjag]

does not, can not, will not

a/n: in honor of the fact i am getting wine drunk and forcing myself to rage finish shadow & bone s2 i’m posting the oneshot i wrote when i was  a 14 year old darklina shipper. i recently moved it from ff.net to ao3 because i figured it held up remarkably well against the passage of time compared to the rest of my other teenage writing, but never posted it here. until now! but heavy disclaimer i didn’t edit or revise this at all beyond running it through grammarly so it is still very written-by-a-14-year-old

summary:  Whatever she and the Darkling have, it’s certainly not love.

ao3

Alina Starkov does not love the Darkling.

There are moments when she hates him less. Moments when she sees the lonely boy with too much power in his quartz gray eyes and is begrudgingly reminded of herself. There are moments when she forgets she hates him. Moments when her hands are tangled in his hair and his hands are gripping her hips, trying to pull her closer even though there is already no space between them and she can barely remember her name- much less that she’s supposed to hate him- because the press of his mouth on her- her mouth, her jaw, her neck- is far too intoxicating. Moments when the only real thing is him and the waves of desire clouding her judgment and weakening her resolve, however temporarily.

Then in a flash of clarity, she regains her senses, pushes him away, and goes back to hating him.

Alina Starkov does not love the Darkling because love is not a never-ending cycle of cat-and-mouse games and cruel taunting and the angry clash of lips on lips.

Love is being curled up beside Mal, her head on his shoulder and his arm loosely curled around her waist. Love is the way she and Mal instinctively reach for each other's hand at the same time and the way her gaze automatically seeks out his when they're in the same room. Love is the tender, slow kisses that reassure her that he is there. Love is sweet and gentle and clear sunshine accompanied with cloudless skies.

Whatever she and the Darkling have, it’s certainly not love.

Alina Starkov can not love the Darkling, because if she does it's proof that she does not love Mal as much as she once did.

It's proof that she is not oblivious to the way Mal dislikes her being in a room with another man for even a handful of seconds, even if he should know damn well that her relationship with said man is either platonic or nonexistent. It’s proof that she notices the way a normally casual arm around her waist quickly becomes possessive, to the point of making her feel like an object to be claimed. It’s proof that she remembers the way Mal told her he wanted the old Alina back and he sometimes mistook her for a stranger. It’s proof that she hasn't entirely been turning a blind eye to the way Mal drowns himself in kvas and other women after a particularly bitter argument.

It was admitting that she needed to let go of Mal, that she was losing him anyway.

Alina Starkov will not love the Darkling, because if she does she’s scared she’ll lose a part of herself.

She’s scared of her hunger for power. She’s scared of what she’s willing to do for more. She’s scared of the violent urges she sometimes gets. She’s scared of Mal leaving her. She’s scared of being alone. She’s scared of letting more people past her barriers. She’s scared that someone she trusts will turn and lodge a dagger in her back. She’s scared of hurting Mal, Nikolai, Genya, Tamar, Tolya, and even Nadia and Zoya. She’s scared of everyone turning against her. She’s scared of descending to point that she needs to be killed. She’s scared that no one will be able to kill her once she reaches that point. She’s scared that in a couple of centuries, she’ll be more like him than herself. She’s scared she’s already no better than him. She’s so, so scared- and mostly of herself and how dark she’s becoming.

He’s always appealed to the darker side of her.

She does not love him. She can not love him. She will not love him.

She will not let that change. She will not let her powerful attraction to him grow into anything more.

As long as she can keep convincing the darkest parts of her soul of this, she’s at least one step out of his reach. She’s at least one step away of becoming what she fears. She’s at least one step away from being consumed by the darkest parts of herself.

She’s always been a terrible liar.

[zoyalaisobachka]

There we go with chapter 4! Zoya's POV this time

[wesper-ao3feed]

Till Forever and Beyond

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/NTZQbnm by Thepotatowithahat "If we met in any other lifetime, I would choose you every single time. You’re the love of my life, Matthias. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” After years of hardship, betrayal, love and forgiveness, Nina and Matthias finally get married. As Nina prepares to walk down the aisle, she reflects on all the moments that led her to her wedding day, and truly learns to value of love. OR Nina and Matthias's Wedding. Words: 3449, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/M Characters: Nina Zenik, Matthias Helvar, Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker, Wylan Van Eck, Jesper Fahey, Isaak Andreyev, Zoya Nazyalensky, Nikolai Lantsov Relationships: Matthias Helvar/Nina Zenik, Inej Ghafa & Nina Zenik, Jesper Fahey & Nina Zenik, Wylan Van Eck & Nina Zenik, Kaz Brekker & Nina Zenik, Kaz Brekker & Jesper Fahey & Inej Ghafa & Matthias Helvar & Wylan Van Eck & Nina Zenik, Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck, Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey & Inej Ghafa Additional Tags: Marriage, Weddings, Wedding Fluff, Marriage Proposal, Fluff, Matthias Helvar Lives, Minor Jesper Fahey/Wylan Van Eck, Wedding Night, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Minor Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa, Wedding Rings, Post-Canon, Not Canon Compliant, Happy Ending, Oneshot, Post-Canon Fix-It, they actually have a happy ending this time, Guns, Gunshot Wounds, Song: The Swan, Light Angst, No Smut, No Sex, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Why Did I Write This?, I Tried, Cheesy, I Don't Even Know, ahhhh, I'm Bad At Tagging, Short One Shot, Not Nikolai Series - Leigh Bardugo Compliant, Helnik Week 2022, POV Nina Zenik, POV Third Person, Song: Work Song (Hozier), Sunsets, Simp Matthias Helvar, Mutual Pining, Love Confessions, I Love You, Kissing read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/NTZQbnm

[millennialgrandma]

April Wrap Up

Hi. Hello. It's been a good long while since I've done one of these, hasn't it? You see...what happened was...the first quarter of the year was mildly stressy depressy lemon zesty and this, my preferred method of escapism, was an option left just out of reach. It's pretty fair to say I didn't really read or write anything these past few months. But April felt rejuvenating, and I have high hopes for May.

Things I Wrote

I've written a lot of words since December; unfortunately they've all been for work and therefore very analytical and boring. I did manage to write one little thing, and since I didn't do a January wrap up post I'm going to talk about it now (the best part of this plan is no one can stop me, etcetera etcetera). I was inspired by my sweet little demon love @jaxxartbox and wrote some retaliation violence by the name of I can't wait to see you again (dramione, E, 1.9k). Somebody please yell at me to write something, anything this month.

Things I Read

I know I read some very horny rare pairs in January, and then a random oneshot or two a month since then, but other than that I have been suffering. When I have the mental fortitude I'll go back through the open tabs on my phone so I can document what I actually read in the lemon zesty months. I did manage to finally break my book hangover in April (Song of Achilles fucking obliterated me in November and I took 4 full business months to recover). And it was all because I watched a couple hours of wesper edits and decided I needed to read about the two little gay boys in love. That's right, I purchased and read Leigh Bardugo's whole grishaverse for those two dummies. Came for the two little gay boy criminals in love, stayed for everyone else (I pledge allegiance to the crows and nikolai, only. ok and zoya, too)

Fiction:

Shadow and Bone - 81,345 words

Siege and Storm - 102,805 words

Ruin and Rising - 95,265 words

Six of Crows - 131,080 words

Crooked Kingdom - 156,310 words

King of Scars - 132,000

Rule of Wolves - 148,000

Nonfiction:

Fanfiction:

Complete: (approx.

I Can Teach You, But I Have To Charge by pastaslut (flexi, E, 4.1k)

Here There Be Monsters by flirtyfabrikator (zoyalai, E, 8.3k)

Demon in Chains by thegoldenkneazle (zoyalai, E, 3.3k)

Things I'm Reading (Heading into May)

I'm actually just hoping for anything at this point. I have so much dramione to catch up on, so many friends that have written things I haven't gotten around to yet, so many WIPs I need to dive back into. And I'll be so honest, I want to sink my teeth into some kanej fanfic, just survive on tea and angst sandwiches. I have a lot of flowers to plant - I could water them with my tears.