#When I get through my list of things I gotta draw I might do actual fr alien fanart cuz I’ve been on and off reading aliens defiance

[tordoise-x3]

FINALLYYYY CLAIRE AND SHERRY‘S REF

BUG HUNT !!! :3 this took like a month DONT do thsi to me AGAIN!!!!

[wickerfox]

HELLO YES ITS ME IM COPY PASTING THE THING HERE:

YOU JUST MADE THE CHILD IN ME BLOOM. THE QUESTION LIST (THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IM SEEING THIS AU BUT GOD FORBID):

× Who's Hoodie

× Is it in the same time setting as MH

× Who PLAYS AS ALEX

× Did it start the same way as a dumb school film project?

× From what I understood Scar takes the role of Tim, is bro a chainsmoker too LMFAO.

× Is Grian canonically gay too

× Would it be a wild correct guess that Amy is Lizzie and Alex is Joel since yk based from obvious plot points?

(before I start, placing this disclaimer here at the top since I have friends who don't frequent mcyt and might get confused, but when I talk abt this au I'm specifically talking abt the characters, not the content creators themselves. Anyway)

SO IM GONNA GO AHEAD AND SHARE WHOSE WHO FIRST

Jay- Grian, it made the most sense in my head, but I actually flip flopped on this so many times bc he also works so well as Tim or Alex, but at some point I went "wait it's an au, we can see how the story changes with Grian as the protag" so Grian's the protag now

Tim/Masky- Scar, I'm a transparent desert duo enjoyer and had a similar flip flop with him as I did Grian bc he'd also work as Jay but I was halfway through that drawing and had a similar thought process to the one i had abt Grian

Brian/Hoodie- Jimmy, I wanted to keep the cast focused to life series and evo members and he made the most sense to me lore wise, especially with the idea that in this au he was one of the ones with the earliest exposure to The Watcher (bc I love Canary Curse symbolism)

Alex- This one was the toughest choice bc no matter what a fav is going to loose it. Good thing this based on the Life Series! As much as I Love the idea of Joel and Lizzie as Alex and Amy, I actually went with Martyn. Again, the character is pretty involved with the Watcher Lore so it made the most sense as the character that is arguably most effected by it. (Although for a brief moment I considered Mumbo Jumbo bc,,, how fucking funny would that be)

Jessica- Jessica's gotta be Pearl right? It makes the most sense for it to be Pearl, I don't even need reasoning for this it makes sense

Amy- So who's Amy then? Scott actually! He's not Martyn's boyfriend in this, he's just a really good friend of his who was super involved in the production. Also like in mh, he's Pearl's roommate.

Sarah- Ren. Can't have a life series au featuring desert duo and not have some renchanting. Who else would be one of the leading actors in Martyn's short film?

Seth- Big B, again Evo connection made sense to me, and depending on your own personal theory on who the third person running the totheark account is, both Big B and Ren have interesting implications, even if both their rolls are p minor in this au

With the cast out of the way other questions !!!

It's set in a kind of nebulous time frame that's probably a little closer to present day, but it does still start with a student film project. When asked Why Martyn chose to use tapes he says something about wanting a more authentic feel to the film but in reality he just thought using tapes was a cool idea and doesn't want to admit that it's kind of impractical now.

In this au Scar doesn't smoke, but instead I like the headcannon that he just has boxes of candy/bubblegum cigarettes on him at all times. He'll pull one out, pause, and offer one to someone and when they say no he's just like "Okay, your loss" and watch as they get all confused when he starts unwrapping it asdfghkgkdjhfjsh

Is Grian gay in this au? Whose to say. (Real answer tho, I'm a notorious Jam shipper and while I'm not an active shipper when it comes to hermitcraft or the life series, I don't really mind it so the relationship is left kind of ambiguous)

But yes THANK YOU DO MUCH FOR GIVING ME A CHANCE TO TALK ABT THIS IVE BEEN RAMBLING TO MY FRIEND WHO DOESNT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING IVE BEEN SAYING FOR DAYS

[the-bloody-sadist]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "the bloody sadist"?

YOU FUCKING BET!!!! I love having the opportunity to list my favorites for anything, though I'm also incredibly picky about fanfics, so I don't actually know (until I start scrolling my bookmarks and listing them) if I'll reach a whole 10 favorites!! But I might! (Note: these are in no particular order)

What I Want From You is Sweet by VampireFaun (Heaven Official's Blessing) [And basically every other work that she's written! But some of my other top favorites of hers are The Thing That Was Not His Highness and Beast With Two Backs]: When I can't get a fanfic out of my head, I usually end up drawing an illustration based on it, if I'm bold enough to risk depicting an author's precious words (rare). This is my MOST re-read fic and I won't ever stop. It doesn't help that VampireFaun/Deer is a WONDERFUL PERSON and I love her personality so much. She's an incredible writer!

Tenfold by dgalerab (Bungou Stray Dogs) : Baby's first fic! This was one of the writings that immediately roped me into the fanfic world. When I first was into it, I was under the impression that everyone just went there to write half-assed explorations of sex between characters, and that wasn't so appealing to me. When I discovered that some people can write entire 25-chapter PLOTS with the level of literacy that matches what I hoped to read??? I was hooked. Obviously you can see in this list that I have strong devotion to a handful of fic writers and my favorites are just the top best fics that I return to of their writing. If I find a great writer, I subscribe to them and go on a rampage of consumption through their list of fics, my fandom or not! Please consider doing the same for those authors that I mention like that!! You'll find so much gold. Everything by dgalerab is good in some way, I have almost all of their fics bookmarked. :') My only complaint about this particular story was that HOLY FUCK THE AUTHOR CUT SO MANY SCENES WAY TOO SHORT LMAO. Please let me have a full comfort scene for more than two paragraphs T_T I worked so hard for it. I cried so much. ANYWAY, STILL A HUGE INSPIRATION FOR WHAT I WENT ON TO WRITE!

What You Have Tamed by Parsnipit (Heaven Official's Blessing)

Love is Hard, Life Sucks by gev_ao3 (Bungou Stray Dogs) : A painful inspection of the nuances of domestic abuse. This one rang true to reality so much that I don't think I can re-read it without having a depressive episode. It's not finished, but it's Fyozai, and you know how I feel about that. Also side-plot SKK! I usually can't stand AUs, but this one fits the situations very well. It's the type of fic that only someone who knows a little too much about how abuse works on a victim can write.

Careful Fear and Dead Devotion by intimatopia (Trigun Stampede) : Yet another fic that I couldn't help but draw for! And intimatopia was kind enough to link it in his fic summary T_T - A super angsty sadomasochistic fic about Vash needing pain and Wolfwood needing to give it. If I don't list any other fics by him on here, it's because I'm such a huge enjoyer of his writing (one of my favorite fic authors), so nearly all of them that don't hit on personal triggers are in my favorites category. He's a master at pinning down the PERFECT depictions of characters that make them feel as canon as possible while also becoming more tangible and real. The ZhongXiao, AyaThoma and Kaeluc fics are incredible. Read them all! However, I will mention that one of his fics that first stuck with me was his Kaeluc AU Northbound & Reaching ! Carys has done a lot of BSD fics too, of which a few stick out to me like They Say You Gotta Fake It and that one Soul Eater AU he did where Dazai was a knife in Chuuya's drawer who gained a body. I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT WENT CUZ I CAN'T FIND IT TO LINK YOU BUT GO LOOK THROUGH ALL HIS FICS FOR IT. IT'S REALLY UNIQUE.

Top 5 works, I guess?? As I mentioned several times while gushing, three of these account for entire lists of the author's works that you should enjoy if we share the same taste! VampireFaun, dgalerab, and intimatopia are my top fic authors, and I've read everything they've posted as long as it didn't contain anything personally triggering - and have learned about new fandoms even! Also, Alaruya didn't make it on this list, but they have a Fyozai fic that really inspired me with its imagery and language. I link it in my Sinner fanfic if you're interested!

I have quite a few other random fics I enjoy, but most were from a Heaven Official's Blessing craze recently and then BSD works that inspired me in some way, but they're not very unique or long, so I felt like this was the best collection to list. Most any fic that explores Dazai struggling with self-harm or neediness or asexuality has my attention. It just has to be written well!

AS FAR AS MY NAME - YOU'RE THE FIRST TO ASK THAT QUESTION! I'm a big fan of...how to explain...slightly dehumanizing titles?? Something that isn't really a name, but a description of me in some way. Something that makes me feel mysterious and yet also gives everyone who reads it an idea of the type of works I'm creating. Of course, my main personality trait is being sadistic, and I love the word sadist, and I love putting THE in front of literally any title because I DON'T KNOW LMAO...I'm THE ONE. That kinda thing. I'M THE GUY!! YEAH I'M THE BLOODY SADIST GUY! THAT ONE! I also love smashing words together, so I was like, I can't just be THE sadist....what else do I like....and that's about it. If I name myself I tend to have trouble ever using anything else in reference to me, so Sadist has stuck from the very beginning. It's going to be very hard to part with that name once I publish a novel and have to use a first and last name...

THANKS FOR THE ASK!! I HOPE YOU ENOY THOSE RECS.

[nerdieforpedro]

Weekend Update 05/12/2024

I’m back! Two weeks in a row!

Very good Nerdie. We appreciate this. We’ve been keeping tabs and you’ve been busy this week.

I did dabble in a few things this week.

A new discord server started by myself and my friend fhatbhabie for Latinx/Black/POC Pedro stans. It’s one of those things where I shouldn't have been as surprised by the overwhelming support for it as I was. It’s actually been pretty awesome and I’ve had very thoughtful DMs. The name of the server is Unhinged Clubhouse.

I wrote my first mostly smut fic in a while with Dave York. Trule wasn’t expecting him of all Pedro characters but, the smut fairy does what she wants, when she wants and I just gotta roll with it. It was another entry for Jett’s Flora & Fauna Challenge. 

Going through my inbox - mostly caught up but still a few outstanding replied to be made. Sorry about that.

Lastly, working on WIPs and deciding in addition to working more on Weddings 101 with Dieter, which other series I’ve been working on did I want to pop out there? Frankie and Ezra’s series are finished and I think I might wrap up the on Din series in the next part or two. The other Din series I have to workshop a bit. I have ideas of who I want to pop up next from Star Wars, I just need to work it in. 

Also Weddings Dieter: Sesame Street, Reading Rainbow and cheese? How do we feel about this? I also could use some help in deciding between the following for my next series: Marcus Pike vs. hot dogs + therapy, me finally writing nice things for Javi P, Dieter + brick house + you and a baby, and Pero Tovar + Dragon for revenge? 

Lastly, does anyone have some prompts for nipples? It sounds weird, but consider, this is me. Also with @mysterious-moonstruck-musings influence, I have a weird bullet point list and made a horrible drawing. I just need to write something so it will leave my mind. I hope. 

Side note: Nerdie now has reblogs queued up to July 21st. The queue shall know no rest! 😎

Nerdie, like are you sure there’s no recreational use of anything? Like really sure?

Nah, these ideas are all from a sober mind. And I shudder to think what I would be like if I did, so I don’t partake. Mainly because I’m a scaredy cat and also my alcohol tolerance is low. Plus I like mixed drinks. 🤭

Now it’s time for everyone’s favorite part:

Fic recommendations! I read a lot this week!

1. Worth A Thousand Words by @intoanotherworld23 (Joel Miller x f reader)

2. Chapter 1 - Howdy Neighbor! by @inept-the-magnificent (Frankie Morales x Plus sized OFC)

3. A Rugged Kindness by @pedropascalsx (Pero Tovar x F reader)

4. Just the Lilac by @djarinmuse (Dieter Bravo x F reader/OC)

5. Torment Part 2 - Terror by @djarinmuse (Din Djarin x Fem OFC)

6. Torment Part 3 - Horror by @djarinmuse (Din Djarin x Fem OFC)

7. Torment Part 4 - Wounded by @djarinmuse (Din Djarin x Fem OFC)

8. Torment Part 5 - Victims by @djarinmuse (Din Djarin x Fem OFC)

9. Torment Part 6 - Trauma by @djarinmuse (Din Djarin x Fem OFC)

10. Torment Part 7 - Healing by @djarinmuse (Din Djarin x Fem OFC)

11. Fall Into You by @megamindsecretlair (Kevin Atwater x black fem/plus size reader)

12. For lifetimes of missing each other - chapter 1: Meat Cute by @tinytinymenace (Demon Pero Tovar x OFC)

13. For lifetimes of missing each other - chapter 2: One Bed by @tinytinymenace (Demon Pero Tovar x OFC)

14. For lifetimes of missing each other - chapter 3: Happily Ever After by @tinytinymenace (Demon Pero Tovar x OFC)

15. So Much Goddamn Talkin’ by @stargirlfics (Joel Miller x Black fem reader)

16. To the Flame chapter fourteen by @pedroshotwifey (Dark Javier Peña x fem reader) DDDE

17. Scattered Promises chapter 1 by @soft-persephone (Din Djarin x AFAB OFC)

18. Waffles and Cigarettes by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin (Javier Peña x fem reader)

This week I hope to have a new series up, maybe chapter six of Weddings 101 and my entry for the Dieter Bravo Brainrot Serve club challenge (it’s slightly over the word count - I’m going to see if it will still make sense on another edit). I dunno if all of those will happen, but at least one of them should. 

Stay safe and hydrated everyone!

Love Nerdie! 🥰 💜💜💜

[azucar-skull]

Injury prompt 26 HIII IM FROM THE DOODLE BUGS SERVER

I just answered another 26 but I just showed a screenshot so sure I can actually right smth rq

AND HIIIIII I love the doodle bugs, but that sever needs to be more active. I'll see about doing art/gaming streams or smth, might help draw in folks.

Anyways, prompt list... I wanna try adding a twist to this instead of smth like "oh no they passed out/presumed dead".

So here's some ghost possession. =)

26. "[Name]? [Name], this isn't funny. Please... stop."

.

.

.

(Leo gets possessed by a ghost yokai and scares the shit out of Mikey)

It was supposed to be a quick trip to the Hidden City. But of course that would be too much to ask from the turtles.

The brothers were searching for some ingredients that Draxum asked them to get. The oldest 3 were reluctant but Mikey has insisted they go. They went to the market to look for the ingredients and decided to divvy up to make things faster.

"We should stick in pairs.", Raph insisted. "No one is going anywhere solo, capiche?"

"We got it, Raph.", Leo rolled his eyes as he sauntered over to Mikey’s side.

Mikey knew that Raph was specifically talking about Leo. Yeah, ain't nobody letting his little...stunt go. Raph sighed at Leo’s attitude but said nothing more as he and Donnie walked off. Mikey went to turn to his red-eared brother only to find him 30 feet away already. Mikey quickly hurried over to him.

"Leo, come on! We gotta stick together!", Mikey called out.

"Then hurry up!"

Mikey huffed an annoyed sigh as he caught up, finding his brother beside a stall that sold some odd looking items. Ouija boards, tarot cards, specter orbs, and all different kinds of occult stuff. Yet, there's no one behind the counter. Leo grabbed a chunk of obsidian from a box and quickly tucked it in his pouch.

"Leo, put in back.", Mikey spat.

"Well, no one is stopping me. Plus, it looks cool and you know I can't resist shiny objects.", Leo smirked. "Now come on, let’s finish Draxum’s shooping list."

Leo started to walk off again and Mikey was getting particularly annoyed at his charades. But before he could follow after him, he noticed an info card beside the box Leo took the obsidian from.

"Tezcatlipoca; The Smoking Mirror. It is said that when you are able to see your reflection in the obsidian, you have found your true self."

...Okay, ominous.

Mikey begins to walk off after Leo when he hears a voice whisper very closely in his tympana.

"Give it back."

Mikey yelped and spun around. Who said that? But there was nobody there.

"GIVE IT BACK!!!", the voice shouted in his tympana. Loud and raspy and nasty.

"Give what back?! Where are you? Who are you?!", Mikey shouted as his eyes frantically look around the environment. He could feel that something or someone is here but he doesn't know where. "Are you some kind of invisible yokai??"

"Hmm, yes, you could say that.", the disembodied voice echoed. "A ghost yokai. The one running the occult stand. The occult stand where you turtles STOLE MY MERCHANDISE!!"

Suddenly Mikey felt a gust of wind past through him, sending chills over every part of his being. Shivering and trembling, the world warped in an inverted filter. It's all full of fog, it was hard for Mikey to see.

Then his head snapped around on its own.

A perfect 180, then the rest of his limbs followed. He tried to speak but...he couldn't. He was walking when every part of his mind screamed at him to stop but...he couldn't. He wasn't in control of his body. It was like he was being puppeted.

He was being possessed.

His legs started running, pushing through the crowd until Leo came back into the view.

"YOU THERE! LITTLE TERRAPIN!", Mikey’s own voice spoke beyond his control, interlaced with the loud and raspy tone of the ghost yokai.

Leo turned around, spotting Mikey and looked surprised.

"Woah, dude, what's with your voice?", Leo laughed.

"GIVE ME BACK MY MERCHANDISE YOU THEIF!"

.

.

.

Edit: this has been in my drafts forever and I forgot how it was supposed to end. Sorry-

[callibones]

UM HI HI HI ITS ME. 🩸🟪 AND I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU I AM VERY SORRY!!!

this week ive been exceptionally busy. a lot of stuff has been piling up for me with university and work and it didnt really give me a lot of time to look at tumblr OR read the fics! ill get to them! i didnt forget i swear ive just been EXHAUSTED this message is just being pulled out of my ass since i didnt expect to write to you today so i dont have any topics planned to ask you about. i didnt wanna take the time to think of something because i didnt want it to seem like i was ignoring your poast (despite the fact you wouldve never known if i had seen it or not .. but MENTALLY i'd feel bad, you know?) but uh. yeah

i don't know how people talk. um. how are you? has your week been particularly busy? what DO you do outside of tumblogging actually .. im curious

OH AND ALSO i very much appreciate the backstory info you gave me on callibones. i MIGHT take inspiration from it for my fanart? maybee? and uh i will send that to you SOON! very soon. i guess in the meantime id just wanna polish it more before sending it to someone out of like. principle?

i looked through your friends blog.. i like the concept of a blood bag person thing. there were probably better ways of saying that but IDK!! once again though i think it is Extremely Drawable so i have a small request ..

and regarding CALCIFER .. i think i would appreciate a deity to deity chat. or an potential acolyte to deity chat or I Mean Ha Ha. and those pronouns are Pretty Cool if i do say so myself! im worried directly sending in an ask would be strange so since you said you were friends with them can you parrot my question? i rlly wanna know whether drawing fanart of their OC is okay. sorry what else. im going to try and plan my next correspondence out ASAP so ill probably go through the cedardivine post before the post you made with a ton of fics? just because the list is shorter. idk what ill do after that--maybe ill rank them or something and you can tell me how wrong my opinion is or something Haha! just kidding im always right. i create new truths as we speak. as im typing this im overwriting just a little bit more of the world's knowledge. im just cool and awesome like that. theres nothing else i can think of at the moment to ask you.. OH UM when you mentioned callyris i realized "hey wait dont i know a blog called that" and Look Who It Was! so thats neat i also think i found another blog that may be under your posession but i dont think i can ask about it at the front desk.. so when i message you in some other manner ill probably ask you about that! who knows i might even be Completely Wrong

well anyways sorry for the delay. it will probably take a while longer for me to compose my thoughts so the delay will continue but. idk. i hope this message isnt TOO INCOHERENT but again i am not proofreading at all for this one.

also im definitely using gooby forever now. thats great. what a peculiar phrase.

GOOBY!!!!

hi hi hi hi! i took a million years to get back to this so NEVER apologize or rush about sending me things. anon asks r a tough way to communicate cause i dont got an online indicator for u so i just gotta guess... and u dont got a notification for me! i hope u see this even tho its been a bit.

ive been busy too cause university's also piling up for ME. i'm gonna respond to this one first, and then i'll take a crack at your mysterious coded message! and then i have to do a million homework because grad school. outside of tumblogging im trying to destroy the world with the infinite power amulet, so i'm majoring in general supervillainy! and also urban planning

for the blood bag: @rigormarcy LOVES fanart. marcy, if u see this, respond with your ref, 'cause you have a super drawable OC! the fans wanna draw u so bad. So Bad.

u found another blog that might b me? omg.... here. how bout this. send me an ask with just the name and i wont publish the response. if youre REALLY curious. but youre probably right, because i invented every blog on tumblr GOOBY

[illarian-rambling]

Thanks for the tag @davycoquette!

Writblr Questionaire

My lore! For you!

About You:

When did you start writing?

Honestly, not that long ago. I was a sophomore in high-school when I wrote my first short story (it was about a student wizard selling wizard adderall to make ends meet), so that'd have been 3 or 4 years ago. I've always been imaginative, but that was the first time I put pen to paper instead of just daydreaming.

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

I mean, I'm a high fantasy girly through and through. I will admit though, I like writing romance way more than I like reading it.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared?

If I could impact people's emotions as much as Brandon Sanderson's writing has impacted mine, I will die happy. And it might be basic, but I've always wanted to write prose like Patrick Rothfuss. I can't say anyone has ever compared my writing to anyone else's that I can remember.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

I have a favorite spot on my couch where I nest up with a blanket and a snack. Usually, a cat is also there and being unhelpful. If I need a change of scenery, I'll go to this crepe place a little ways away.

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

If I'm feeling burnt out, I take a few days off, then I'm usually good to go. I'll draw instead, or watch an inadvisable amount of caving disaster videos. A good long drive can also help.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Oh, most definitely. I live in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. My redneck claims to fame are eating a rabbit my mom shot, hand feeing a raccoon some hot wings, and catching snakes for a living. Thus, a lot of my characters are country as hell. Also, I'm in college for microbiology, so I write about a lot of scientist characters and have a lot of university settings. These things come together in Astra DuClaire - a runic engineer and certified hillbilly, which is a combo of don't see a lot of, but should honestly exist more considering the feats of engineering I see at the rat rod shows down here.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

I'm really bad at picking up on my own themes, but I'd say perseverance is a big one. No matter how bad things get, sometimes you gotta keep walking. Also, kindness. Most of my main characters are fundamentally kind and when they help people, that good karma is paid forward.

Your Characters:

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.)

Currently, I've been pretty jazzed with this big Avymere chapter I've been working on. Their character development has been really juicy so far. But in the end, I love all my ocs equally.

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life?

Honestly, most of them. I think Izjik would be chill as fuck to hang out with, and once they're out of their shells, Sepo and Twenari would make for some awesome conversations. Djek and Astra are a lot for my introverted self, but in small doses, we could have a blast. Mashal is a sweetheart, of course, and so is Elsind. And while Avymere is intimidating, we could bond over martial arts. Also, all the ghosts are just plain fun.

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

You might notice who I left off that list. Ivander is a snarky bastard, but not in a funny way. He's more like a middle school bully. He'd call me broke and swagless, then I'd smack him and he'd die on the spot.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

They arrive in my mind from the void. I usually come up with their core traits pretty fast. Actually, Astra's the odd one out here because it took me a month or so to solidify her character. But yeah, I don't have much of an interesting answer for this one.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

Two big ones jump out at me. One, most of them will help a stranger. Izjik and Sepo took in Twenari right after finding her washed up on a beach. Djek spared Izjik and Sepo's lives because he simply knew killing them was wrong. Astra saved Mashal's life after finding him on the side of the road out of nothing but the goodness of her heart. The second trait is not unrelated - they're all nosy as hell. They love eavesdropping, drama, and gossip. I'm not sure why this is, but everyone from Ivander and his dirty rumors to Elsind and their saucy romance books adores sordid tales.

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc.)

In my brain, they're just colorful versions of the most realistic version of my art style.

Your Writing:

What’s your reason for writing?

I love doing it, why else? In all seriousness though, writing gives me an outlet for a lot of emotions I have a hard time expressing in real life. So, basically, I'd explode or something if I didn't.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

Nothing makes me happier than when people tell me they're excited to find out what happens next. Also, seeing any headcanons and theories is like a free hit of dopamine every time.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

Just... cool, I guess? I want people to relate to my characters and be intrigued by my worldbuilding. I don't want to be the next literary sensation. I just want people to enjoy and talk about my stories.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I also feel like I write action quite well and have a unique voice. My descriptions ride the line between flowery and fun.

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

People say they're drawn in by my characters and that my worldbuilding has a sense of depth.

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

I feel pretty good about it! Not all the time, obviously, but overall, I think I keep improving and building my skills with every word I write.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Yup. I like reading my own writing. It's almost like it was written by someone who shares my exact literary tastes.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

I can't honestly say I've ever thought about what other people would enjoy, so I guess I write for myself. I'm confident enough that a fair amount of people share my preferences, so hopefully it all works out in the end.

I'll tag @kaylinalexanderbooks @elizaellwrites @ashwithapen @i-am-moss-the-boss and anyone else who wants in :)

[sburbian-sage]

Hey there, Knight of Quartz again! I’ve been testin shit, here’s what I got for you so far:

I’m in the Land of Fabergé and Rhystic, LOFAR.

So right away, weird, because Rhystic isn’t a real word, it’s a thing from Magic the Gathering- a word used for cards that an opponent can pay a cost to prevent you from using. Rhystic Study for example draws you a card every time someone else casts a spell, unless they pay an extra point of mana. (God FUCKING DAMN do I miss MTG, can’t play it now though, too risky, lots of cards give corruption.)

Meanwhile, Fabergé was literally just a guy’s name I think? But the way it manifests here is clearly about Fabergé eggs, they’re all over the place.

It’s kinda hell actually. Tons of the eggs have consort ashes (and/or organs/bones) in them and are basically like grave urns. But some of them have important stuff so I gotta open em anyway, and I think all the funerary ones I keep desecrating by accident are actually dropping my land rep.

As for the Rhystic keyword, I’m kinda stuck actually. I’m not seeing much about it really? There’s a place called the “Rhystic Tower” in one of the consort villages, and the consorts get really weird when I try to talk to them about it, but I can’t figure out how to get inside.

Onto the topic of death, none so far. No comas either. I want to ask though, if Quartz DOES rely on no deaths, do you think dying to go god tier might fuck all this up and make it so I retroactively never would have been assigned the aspect? Not that any of us have found our beds yet anyway, but I'm worried about it... Realselves don’t leave a ghost in a dream bubble when they god tier, right? Since you are your realself and dreamself at the same time? Or am I wrong?

As for time stuff, the meteors seem to be working like normal. Appearifier is still letting us make paradox slime for frog breeding, and the Ectobiology labs are present in the veil (but we’ve not found a gate to them yet). I think the exiles aren’t working though? Hard to tell. They might just be subtle and not have much to say, or maybe all of us have too much pepleader or something.

Okay, now for the big list of abilities I’ve gotten:

The first two were [Rose Tint] and [Smoke]. I guess in reference to rose quartz and smoky quartz. They are notably NOT offensive, and in fact seem to barely work, if at all. I think they might just be bugged. I can target living things with them, and they eat up some pluck, but then nothing seems to happen. I know abilities can be finicky, but I’m running out of ideas.

[Record] is an ability that I’ve been using constantly though. I actually learned to freestyle this early on, though the ability version is way more efficient. Either way, it basically it lets me extract a memory out of something’s mind. They come out as these glowy colorful orbs, but I can’t like, stuff them into my own head or anything. When I touch them, I think I get an impression of what the underling I extracted from was feeling at the time (mostly anger and fear so far). I’ve not found a real use for these yet, but it’s become almost compulsive for me to [Record] every enemy I fight at least once. I assume they’ll be useful later on.

As for abilities that actually do stuff in fights, [Elegist] was my go-to for a while. It feels like it “skips” me ahead, to after an enemy is already dead, and then I get a mental summary of how I beat them. But while it’s running I’m actually just in a fugue state, it’s not time travel or anything even though it feels like it. Had to stop using it after it let me get run through the chest with a sword just so I could get in close and kill an imp, I almost died from that… Plus, I just don’t trust it, no way Sburb really gave me a “I win” button, I bet it’d fail against strong enough enemies or whatever.

So instead I’ve mostly been using [Brain Fart] and [Going In Circles]. Fart just makes a target forget what they were doing for a second, and the circles one seems to make an enemy want to go back to wherever they were standing when I used the ability on them, after a few seconds. Both of these are really good at throwing enemies off in battle, and cost barely any pluck, so I can spam them.

There’s more, but my coplayers need me for a dungeon dive, and these were the ones I’ve been using the most, so I’m just gonna send this off as is.

I'd be a bit concerned about the Land Keywords. The running theory is that Quartz is a bugged Aspect, and Lands don't typically generate pop-culture references. I mean, it'd be kind of stupid if you got like, the Land of Gonzales and Mug Root Beer and you don't know that wrestler/that soda isn't available in whatever country or world you come from. Pop culture is constrained almost entirely to Alchemy, so you should be seeing immediate red flags any time they pop up. Related sidenote, I am now much more skeptical of this entire post.

On the funerary ashes, you just gotta roll with it. Toppling sacred urns, desecrating mystic ruins, and defiling hallowed tombs is as natural as breathing. It's sad, but you can't make an omelette without traumatizing a few people.

"Retroactively not getting assigned your own Title" isn't a thing. The only thing you can do to make yourself not be the Title you've been assigned is to do Vagabouncy. The nature of the Quest Beds and how ascending works is unknown, so it's kind of your job to figure that out. And as for whether or not ascending leaves behind a Dreambubble Ghost, the classical mistake you're committing is thinking about Dream Bubbles. Don't do that. All thinking about the Dream Bubbles typically does is existentially freak yourself out. So don't think about it, or whether or not you leave a ghost when you suffer a non-Just or non-Heroic death.

That the meteors and Ectobiology labs are working as normal seems to throw a wrench at our previous "Quartz supersedes Time and replaces it" theory. The game DOES have back-ups in case the meteor plan doesn't work, so "it brute-forces the meteors to time travel when the Reckoning happens because that's an essential step of the game" isn't an answer. Or at least, it seems somewhat hackneyed.

I don't think [Elegist] is an "I win" button, per say. It gives you a roadmap for defeating an enemy, but knowing how to do something and actually doing it are two different things (I say as I smooch my bulging biceps while wearing a shirt reading "SAGE EXCEPTION"). It's like how you can read guides for how to get top scores on Punch-Out!!, but the input, timing, and RNG makes it difficult. I would advise not using it on tougher enemies... Alone. If you can get someone to run a distraction (or otherwise protect you), it could make for a really good tactic. The defending player learns how to protect against its attacks, you learn the perfect offense, and then you put it into action. Unite, synchronize.

Those other abilities seem more immediately useful though, yeah. One ability that might be looking into, either "try freestyling" or "potential in-game ability?", is forcing an enemy to repeat the last action they performed. It'd be really predictable, which would help one learn how to avoid or counter an attack, not to mention the potential of "making an enemy with an explosive attack keep exploding and causing collateral damage". That's the first ability I'd think of when it comes to Quartz.

I'm glad to hear the progress report. Keep your wits about you, seize all tomorrows, and report back with any breakthroughs.

[philhoffman]

I was wondering if you may have any Phil quotes/sayings be it from movies, interviews, etc, that he would might say to someone who needs a cheering up? I know it's a bit specific and niche but my mental states been ran through the ground and I wanna draw myself something comforting with his words. If nothing comes to mind, then you don't have to answer this :)

Oh I totally get it, I have a big list of all my favorite quotes from Phil and I go through them frequently when I need a pick-me-up haha!

There are probably several from his movies but these are all from Phil himself, speaking as himself in interviews and such lol. He was not the most *concise* man so they can get a little rambling 😅 but he's got the spirit! I hope you feel better and that these words help, they've always helped me:

"When you’re [young]... man, it’s just you. It’s just you and your body works so well. And you haven’t done anything and nobody knows who you are and it’s just a clean slate. You’re running out there and going ‘How the hell can I make my mark? What am I gonna do?’ And you can’t lose! I mean, you think at that time, ‘I can lose,’ but you really can’t. And try to tell people that young, it’s like it’s not gonna matter. Make the mistake, who cares? You know what I mean? Be bad, go do that thing, it doesn’t matter." (My favorite.)

"Sometimes I’ll set things up for myself that I don’t know if I’ll be able to achieve... Because all of a sudden you’re in a crisis moment. There’s gonna be a lot that you’re gonna have to do to come through with it, and you’re gonna have to have the will to actually fail and look like an ass and probably be bad and all these things in front of people. You’re gonna have to actually do that in order to be good. You’re gonna actually have to go in and start failing and start risking and start humiliating yourself sometimes right there in front of people in order to get to the good stuff."

"Creating anything is hard. It’s a cliché thing to say, but every time you start a job, you just don’t know anything. I mean, I can break something down, but ultimately I don’t know anything when I start work on a new movie. You start stabbing out, and you make a mistake, and it’s not right, and then you try again and again. The key is you have to commit. And that’s hard because you have to find what it is you are committing to."

"I gotta remember to not kill myself, not beat myself up, not get too worked up about it... I was more moody, more mercurial [when I started acting]... Yes, there's that thing with being younger. You think it's all or nothing. You think all your eggs are in one basket when you're young. You're gambling. Whereas when you're older you realize you can reinvent; you think, this feeling I have is going to pass. You know what I mean? This isn't everything, there will be another film, there will be another relationship, or I'll die and then I'll be dead. But if I'm alive I know life is going to keep throwing things at me."

"You do have to let it go. You do have to move on to the next thing. You have to find passion in some other place and you have to fall in love with something else. And that always takes falling out of love in some way with whatever it was before. I guess I’ll find that out, what that means."

"To be loved, I think, is like the thing that gets you up in the morning." ❤️

"If you say ‘yes,’ to someone, ‘I will,’ that you are also saying, ‘I will be hurt by you.’ Because you can’t have relationships if you’re not willing to be disappointed and hurt by that person. It’s almost impossible. You have to be able to enter into the world and realize that the richness of life is all the good and joy and thrill of it, but also all the disappointment, hurt, and heartache of it. And that all of that is what’s great."

"[Making art is] very fulfilling and challenging and maddening. Sometimes you can never get it right and usually you don’t, and you realize how art and life are very similar, ultimately. They really are. They don’t really end, and they don’t really answer themselves… the good stuff, you know? And how maddening that is because as a person you want so badly to control something or understand something or end something, and you realize, ‘But life doesn’t really do that.’ The good art doesn’t really either. It’s a tough thing."

"If you’re challenging yourself in the way you should, there’s always a doubt about if you’re going to be able to pull it off. That’s everybody’s dilemma, not just actors… The more you expect of yourself, the harder it is, and the more concentrated and focused you’ll be able to get."

"Do I take the path of least resistance? You know in therapy, you always get to the point of like, when am I finished? And it's not finished with therapy, it's like—alllll this crap, when is it over? This thing of like, when do you get it? ... And it's like no! That never happens! You just die! You just fuckin' die. And so that road to death—the road to death we call life—can be just burgers and booze and women and smokes and TV and magazines and really bad art—and you can just go and slide right into the hole. Or you can go, well, I think I better keep confronting and keep challenging and keep trying to make good stuff and working hard. That's what you do because if you don't do that, it's so easy to go to that other place."

"Isn't it worth grieving? Isn't it worth destroying yourself in order to move on? Isn't it worth going through whatever you need to go through in order to move on? Isn't it worth it loving somebody even if this might happen to you? Just a communal understanding that love is worth it; grieving love is also worth it and that it might be this interesting, this colorful, or this odd."

"I don’t think that there’s anyone on the planet that, if looked at closely enough, is worthy of being judged in a way that it would be... not good. And everybody on the planet, if looked at closely enough, is worthy of being loved with the most love that you could ever give."

I also like to listen to him read this poem, one of my favorites by Robert Frost <3

[hellfiredemon]

15 people, 15 questions

tagged by @cuoredimuschio 💞

are you named after anyone? My English name comes from a Diana Wynne Jones’ character, like a straight up kid's book. My Chinese name is really embarrassing. It comes from a historical figure. My dad came to the US for his education and his father was resentful that he wanted to immigrate here and would not be able to spend as much time with his family in Hong Kong, so when my grandfather chose my name, he named me after a historical figure who was given away to* barbaric foreigners.* I want to change my name to something else but haven’t and only my relatives in HK call me this but I haven’t been back in so long so it doesn’t matter as much.

when was the last time you cried? About a month and a half ago, my friends put down their dog and Facetimed me so I could say goodbye to him.

do you have kids? Nope and can honestly say I’ve never wanted to have them. I understand from an aging standpoint that it makes sense to spawn a caretaker but I don’t think I’d be able to care for another human being like that, I can barely take care of myself and my dog as it is.

what sports do you play/have played? I dance a lot now, but I don’t compete so I don’t think it qualifies as a sport. In school, I did track and field, volleyball, and tennis.

do you use sarcasm? Frequently, but I’m also embarrassingly earnest about many things as well.

what's the first thing you notice about people? Probably how they dress, groom, and carry themselves and whether they seem comfortable to be in public or not.

what's your eye color? Brown

scary movies or happy endings? I don’t really watch horror, but maybe I do prefer scary movies because I like a lot of movies that are a little uncomfortable to watch, where you don’t know what will happen in the end. When it comes to movies, I think I’m ok with having a bittersweet or even unhappy ending, probably because movies tend to be shorter and less immersive for me. I guess I don't need a happy ending for me to enjoy something but the story's gotta be compelling.

any talents? I can whistle through my teeth, am an adept conversationalist IRL, and am good at interviews and general corporate bullshittery, which I think is how I’ve managed to stay employed but do very little work 🤐

where were you born? The US Midwest! But my parents moved a few months after I was born, so I never really lived there.

what are your hobbies? Reading, dancing, calisthenics, drawing, strategy games, playing with my dog, hiking, and admiring art, zoning out, floortime

do you have any pets? Yes, the love of my life and warmer of my cold feet, a 3.5 yr old muppet-ass looking border collie-poodle mix named Charlie. I couldn't figure out how to put a picture between the numbered list so his pic's at the end.

how tall are you? 164 cm 🥞 my mom's side is short 😔

favorite subject in school? English or history. I loved reading books and stories and talking about them, and still do.

dream job? I don't want to work, and don't dream of labor. The closest thing I can think of working for the US govt's Digital Service, which probably sounds crazy but I think at least that way I'd get to use my skills for something useful. I’d be perfectly content to pursue hobbies the rest of my life. I fantasize about moving to a country with universal benefits and not having to worry about the numbers on my paycheck and do something I actually think is good for the world or just work on art or dance full time. I wanted to be a mail carrier for a long while, walk around the city all day and listen to books or music and deliver people’s letters and meds and stuff, but you also have to deliver shitloads of stupid ads and bills as well. I think if I ever save enough money from my dumb corporate jobs that I still might try to work for the USPS. I don't know 15 people, tag yourself if you want to do it!!! And here's my lovely boy!!

[vampirecatsw]

Intro and My Links

(for mobile + other users)

Hi, My name is Cyn (he/him), it's nice to meet you!

THIS BLOG IS NOT SPOILER FREE

You might have seen me around Ao3 as secret_werewolves, leaving little comments on everyone's works

I like to lurk around discord servers, fandoms, devour fanfictions, and reblog things. My main fandom is Detective Conan / Magic Kaito, although I do explore some other ones.

I sometimes draw too, but since life has gotten very hectic recently, I'm taking things slower

FEEL FREE TO SEND ME ASKS ABOUT AUS, OCS OR ANYTHING. I'D BE GLAD TO ANSWER THEM!!!

~

My Art (Tumblr tag): https://vampirecatsw.tumblr.com/tagged/cyn%20draws

New!!: My new art blog yay! https://cyndraws.tumblr.com

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secret_werewolves  Fanfiction.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/10181337/ Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/secret-werewolves

~

My tags:

#cyn draws -> my art. I might also use #my art

#cyn talks / cyn speaks -> not much of a distinction since I often tag both. But cyn talks is for chatting, and cyn speaks is for original posts.

#cyn answers -> answering asks

Usually first name, last name for characters

#fic recs -> fic recs! Feel free to also browse my ao3 bookmarks or links on my fanfiction.net profile

#transmigrator kaito au -> my own au! I post under this tag (on both accounts, so click 'see all of tumblr'). Feel free to check out the link below and to follow the tag <3

~

This seems pretty popular so I'll put this here too. If I find another fic, I'll update it in this post. Happy reading~

Kaito pov/Kaito centric fanfic recommendations list:

~

Planned future projects:

Start writing fanfics hahaha. First I gotta get over my self esteem and start writing planssss. I do admire everyone who writes, but I really don't want to run out of steam halfway through projects. And if I'm gonna write, I wanna get into the habit of planning! It also allows for tiny details to be hinted in later, super satisfying >v<

Rn I'm super busy with uni so aaaa they might take a while

~

WIP Ideas in my brain, may or may not be actually posted. But definitely feel free to ask me questions about them!

Please send asks, I'm actually begging like please

- Kirby oc + anime au! (i have a series of monstrous documents with meticulous detail, it's getting ridiculous at this point adfghj. But I do need to watch the anime first). I have somehow ended up making an entire au around an oc haha. I'm taking some inspiration from other fandoms and fanworks.

- Dcmk oc/self inserts/transmigration aus (Shinichi/Conan, Kaito, detective boys, maybe some others. We need more of these in this fandom)

- Kaito transmigration au (Kaishin, platonic or romantic not decided yet)

https://vampirecatsw.tumblr.com/tagged/transmigrator%20kaito%20au

Inspired by 'Entirely Out of Spite' by Bgtea, a Genshin fanfic. Would highly recommend! https://archiveofourown.org/works/30349320/chapters/74816049 And also "Scum Villain Self-Saving System" too, since EOoS is inspired by it in turn. I'm crying since writing is just Not Happening XDDD The funniest thing about this au is Kaito being extra giddy to meet Shin/Cone and being a fanboy in general

Kaitou / phantom thief oc Look he just slaps, idk how to explain XD

~

Ok, bye! Hope everyone is doing well! I'm going back to work now because uni is using me like its ragdoll in those flash games lol

[kifu]

I feel like I need a long-term list of projects I wanted completed. My manic drive from January/February has died down, but my will to create is NOT gone. That's ... a feat.

Limbo - this project requires research by way of rewatching some if not all of 2k3 (and my definition of this is seasons 1 through 4 only, as I do not include the Tribunal, FF, or BttS as part of my cannon). As I write this, I'm halfway through season 2 and I'm outlining the points that will help me structure Limbo physically. The more I watch, the more I'm pissed about my creative choices for Limbo draft 1. That might turn out in my favor.

◦ outline 2k3 and figure out WHEN Limbo takes place to ground it in cannon

◦ outline major plot points in Limbo

◦ detail major characters' growth throughout entire story

◦ fucking write the damn story

Horse Comic - okay, another one that has tickled me since my childhood. I wanna get it done. I swore to myself that I wouldn't start this project until I had the skill to draw horses unaided by references. Well, mostly. The point is drawing a comic - and I think this comic will be five issues/chapters long from what I figured out last night - depicting a rundown of a modified story that I remember from my breyer horse herd as a little kid. Well, now adult storytelling, years of stacked ideas that go well with the og story, color genetics, and actually having the drive to put a comic together (by myself) come into play. This ain't gonna be a light project.

◦ break the story down into five chapters and detail everything that needs to happen within each chapter

◦ break each chapter down into pages so that I don't have to worry about page pacing when I start putting it all together

◦ "pencil" the ENTIRE first chapter before I even think about "inking" or laying down color/background

◦ work on one chapter at a time, but don't expect more than one chapter per year if I can even keep up my drive for this

◦ come up with an intriguing title because I'm stumped

HARPG - so I even started a blog for this and have a few chapters uploaded already, but when I got caught up in that commission I fell a couple weeks behind already. I am NOT feeling this so much, but I still would like to crank out a couple years of story this year. I NEED TO DRAW RAMSEY RIGHT FUCKING NOW. And then continue to come up with a chapter and chapter art every other week. Like, c'mon, me.

New Nation - another story that haunts me every time I think about my stories. Maybe I'll love Kurt again through Limbo. Probably not. I think I'm falling out of love with the character that got me through ... everything ... the past decade. Is it the Catholicism? I've been at war with Catholicism since my job at the pig farm. It's gotta be more than that. But anyway, I really ... really ... I don't know if I can ever come back to this story anymore, tbh. But it would be cool if I could. I might just say that I need to animate the unpublished scene of the future, because why not add another large ass project to the list. But that fight scene? Is AMAZING.

The Tribes - let's be serious. This needs to be written. Though it would be cool if I could actually write down my plan of action so that I have something physical to fall back on when my brain farts again. As it do. I remember that my goal for this story is to end at around 150-175k words. I believe I have the first 25k words written, though a lot needs to be done to those words to make things better. Even so, this is the best iteration of the Tribes yet. And my crack fic? Is actually really, really helping. I did not expect that.

◦ first 25k words are Kifu finding Taya and Jiogi and getting brought to the Tribe

◦ next 25k words are Kifu fitting into the Tribe, and getting to know the other Tribeslings. Need to figure out Mai's predecessor's name

◦ next 75k words are Kifu training under Kumji, first learning what every Tribesperson knows: hunting, gathering, basic body training; and later he introduces her to his group, where she secretly learns how to fight and kill - more details about this to be figured out later

◦ last 25k words are Kifu's struggle with the group's goals and eventual loss of control

I dunno. The story is my pet and I actually do have the entire series vaguely outlined somewhere with names all of the fucking place in the margins. I *do* want to come up with back stories for each and every person of the Air Tribe so it's not just the Kifu show, but a cohesive land where people are more than welcome to hate the main character because she be a stupid ho, but come around for everyone else. idk Things get better after the first book anyway.

[alphagirl404]

An Impulse Decision: Chapter 37

Fanfiction.net

AO3

<-Previous Chapter Next Chapter->

----

Chapter 37: Weird Nature

The quartet continued their trek through the wild woods. They all took Karane's suggestion to leave marks on trails to prevent them from going in circles, whether using twigs to draw on the dirt, rocks to carve into trees, make small towers of flat rocks, or one big pile of pinecones. Thanks to these markers, they only got turned around either once or twice, and made finding the correct path easier.

"Your idea of leaving marks on trails seems to work, Karane," Link complimented.

"Thanks." Karane responded. "Hopefully, we can stay on track this time and not get off course."

"And not come face to face with carnivorous animals," Pipit suggested.

"And not have red potions wearing off at the worst time possible," Fledge added.

"Well, from this point, there will be no more distractions. We just keep heading south, and maybe we can reach Faron in no time," Link turns to his sword. "Any guess when we could arrive, Fi?"

"If we keep on going the pace we have been, I estimate we can reach Faron in at most two weeks," Fi shared.

"Two weeks?" Fledge exclaimed, clutching his side. "Can I even last that long? These potions are not doing much healing from Ghirahim's torture."

"As long as we don't get seriously hurt, we might have enough," Link pointed out.

"We do what we can to keep you safe, buddy," Pipit promised.

"Assuming we don't come across any more surprises down here." Karane brought up. "I don't want to sound like a downer, but we've had too many close calls these past three days alone, and we still have a lot of ground to cover to get to Faron. Who knows what else is out there?"

"We just gotta be extra careful and aware of our surroundings."

Right as Link said, he turned his head away from the path ahead. A yellow plant creature resembling a Deku Baba rose from the ground. It jerked its head towards Link.

"Link, look out!" Fledge yanked him back.

The Yellow Deku Baba missed the hero by inches. Its horizontal bite moved to a vertical bite. That was the opportunity Pipit needed to quickly pull out his sword and slice the plant monster's head in half.

"Not this time, jerk!" Pipit snarled at the head's remnants, panting heavily with widened eyes.

"Take it easy, Pipit. You got him." Fledge spoke to him calmly.

Pipit then relaxed his stance, rubbing his scarred arm. "Sorry. Had a bit of a flashback…"

"What about being extra careful & aware of our surroundings?" Karane lightly scolded Link.

"We'll be doing that starting now," Link affirmed while trying to stay professional. He brought his attention to the Yellow Deku Baba head. "What was that?"

"A Deku Baba that was about to chomp you," Pipit replied.

"It is actually a Quadro Baba." Fi's voice echoed. "It is part of the same family as the Deku Babas. Like them, this violent plant is widespread in wooded areas. It will attempt to bite anything that approaches it. More rare than Deku Babas, Quadro Babas has greater stamina. A golden husk and dynamic mouth are the distinguishing features."

"That explains why it has a horizontal & vertical bite while others usually have one or the other," Karane pointed out.

"And maybe do our best to avoid them. I like to keep both of my arms," Pipit stressed.

"You can add that to our 'Things to Avoid Because They Can Kill Us' list," Fledge deadpanned.

"A list that seems to keep getting bigger each day," Link glumly stated.

"Goddesses, please grant us smoothing flying…erm smooth walking from this point." Link silently prayed to the Goddesses.

----

The Next Day...

The Quartet found themselves walking along a hillside meadow. It was high enough for the group to see their surroundings, but it required a lot of legwork—not ideal when one of them is recovering from horrendous torture. According to the map, going through this area was quicker than around.

"You holding up okay, Fledge?" Link called out to him.

"For the most part," he responded back. "Don't worry, I can handle this. I wonder where I get more leg work from: This or Eagus having us doing laps from the academy to the Bazaar back to back."

Before anyone could respond, the sounds of a high-pitched whistle caught their ears. The sound came from above them. Flying above was a large bird with a hooked beak curved down and dark feathers with a wingspan of maybe eight feet.

"Wow. Now, that is an impressive bird," Pipit declared.

"Eagles typically are, Master Pipit," Fi chimed in.

Link glanced at his sword. "Come again, Fi?"

"Eagles, Master Link. Next to the Loftwing and Phoru, Eagles are the largest birds in the world. They are strong flyers and excellent hunters. They can hunt prey that weighs as much as a dwarf Loftwing."

"Eagles…Huh, that's funny," Link uttered with a chuckle.

"What is funny, Link?" Karane asked.

"Well…Fledge mentioned Eagus, and right at that moment, an Eagle shows up."

"And the punchline?"

"Maybe it's just me, but…Ea-GLES sounds almost like Ea-GUS."

The other three all looked at Link weirdly. "Come on, am I wrong?" Link insisted.

"They…do sound similar…" Pipit pondered as he tapped his mouth with his arms crossed.

"It's probably just a weird coincidence," Karane asserted.

Pipit relaxed his stance. "...Yeah, you're probably right."

The eagle let out one more high-pitched screech.

"You know, I never would expect a tough-looking bird like that to make that noise," Fledge noted.

"What would you expect it to sound like?" Link contested.

"Something…majestic?" Fledge shrugged.

"Right…Anyways, as much I want to sightsee, we need to focus on keeping on moving-"

A new sudden sound of 'Bahhhh' caught their attention.

"Now, what was THAT?" Karane wondered.

They heard the 'baahhh' again, this time sounding more clear. This pinpoints the source to a creature ahead of them. This animal had green-blue fur, with a white face. It stood on four hooves. On its head were two large horns that curved backward. The animal was eating some grass.

"What is that thing?" Link question.

"It looks like a… goat," Flege guessed. "Like the ones from the farming island, Rainloft."

"That place we went to a few years ago on a school trip?" Link asked him."

"Yeah that place! I remember they had these weird but cute animals like cows, sheep, and goats."

"Your assumption is correct, Master Fledge. This is a Hill Goat. These herbivores make their home in hills & meadows. Their characteristically strong legs & hooves make it easy to travel through these hills."

"Herbivore, as in plant eater, right?" Pipit clarified.

"Yes, Master Pipit. These goats eat plants, not meat." Link swore he could almost hear the exasperated breath in Fi's voice.

"Okay, good."

"It's just…standing there," Karane observed.

"Menacingly?" Pipit guessed.

"Nope. Just eating."

"He really does look bigger than the Rainloft Goats," Fledge pointed out.

"Maybe it's friendly like them too?" Link suggested.

"Maybe…but I remember how skittish they were. They almost trampled their pen when Zelda accidentally knocked over some buckets…"

"Falling buckets are loud. That'd scare anybody. I doubt we can be that bad for this guy."

Link took a step at a particular section of dry grass that made a crunching sound. The goat's head snapped in their direction, eyes narrowed. It ran straight toward Link with its head lowered, knocking him with its horns. Link tumbled down the hill, letting out curses & indistinguishable yells until he landed at the bottom.

"Link! Are you alright?!" Karane yelled out.

"I'm okay! I think…" Link bellowed back.

The three ran straight to the hill bottom where Link was.

"You gonna pull through?" Pipit asked

"Master Link has fortunately not sustained any internal injuries. Though he may be sore for the time being," Fi informed.

Link slowly sat back up. "What did I do to set it off? All I did was walk on grass."

"Probably because it is a wild animal that is easily startled by the smallest noise and not accustomed to humans," Fi pointed out.

"…That would make more sense." Fledge uttered.

They heard the 'baaah' again. The same goat stood on top of the hill. It stared them down before turning on its heels and strolling away, acting like nothing had happened.

"Or maybe that goat is just an asshole," Link grumbled.

----

The Next Day…

The quartet again found themselves back in woodlands. Link still felt sore for the goat, but Fi said it was nothing serious. Hopefully, they will make better progress then yesterday. Clouds were building up, so at least the sun wouldn't be burning down on them.

"You sure you're okay to walk, Link?" Karane asked him at one point.

"Fi said there's nothing serious. I can work through it," Link insisted. "And no, I'm not trying to tough it out."

"Just making sure."

"If we're done with that, we must keep moving forward. We can't have any distractions!"

Distant rumbling suddenly boomed in the sky above. The clouds had gotten grayer. Tiny water droplets landed on the four.

"I think you spoke too soon, Link," Fledge responded with a bit of snark.

"That sounded like a thunderstorm," Pipit guessed. "…and where there's Thunder-"

"There's usually lightning," Karane concluded grimly.

"Shouldn't we find shelter?" Fledge suggested.

"Aren't we kinda are?" Link wondered.

"What do you mean?"

"We're under lines of trees. I mean, that gotta count, right?"

"That is a good guess. We've always been taught to take cover and not be in open spaces," Pipit pondered. "Maybe the trees can give us cover?"

Link then felt a tingling sensation on his back. The hairs on the back of his neck stood. His sword showed sparks. One by one, the rest of his friends felt the same thing that he did.

"I don't know about you guys, but I feel like this isn't supposed to happen…" Fledge expressed uncertainty.

No one could see it, but they could feel an unknown force shifting above them. Fi knew exactly what is about to happen.

"Master Karane! Barrier, NOW!" Fi's voice boomed in the air.

Karane did not question it. A mere second after Karane brought the blue crystal shield, the world outside the walls flashed a bright light, followed by a deafening thunder crack. When the flash seized, they could see smoke sizzling and small patches of fire before the rain put them out.

"Did we almost get struck by lightning?" Karane spoke with astonishment after she brought down the barrier.

"Not almost. You were struck. You remain unmarked because of the barrier. Otherwise, you all would have been, how you say, cooked," Fi calmly informed. "Lighting is attracted to tall objects, regardless of whether there's metal or not. These tall trees are likely included."

All four teens stood agape. Another clap of Thunder rumbled the sky.

"…maybe we should find shelter," Link said after a few minutes.

"There is a rock formation which should provide perfect cover nearby. I suggest you all get there before the next lightning strike."

----

The Next Day…

Yesterday's thunderstorm lingered for hours, leaving the group little time to cover the ground. Fortunately, the sky was blue, and there was not a storm cloud in sight. The day was actually beautiful.

"The weather's nice today, at least," Fledge pointed out.

"I hope it stays that way. I don't want to get struck by lightning," Link shuddered.

"On the bright side, at least we learn not to stand under trees during a thunderstorm," Karane remarked. "That'll be helpful information for future expeditions down here."

"Future expeditions?" Pipit turns to her.

"You know…After we find Zelda, and she finishes whatever she's supposed to do. There are some folk on Skyloft who are going to be curious about The Surface and want to see it for themselves. Headmaster Gaepora & Knight Commander Eagus would definitely want organize expedition groups. And it wouldn't be long before the other island settlements get curious, too."

Pipit took in his girlfriend's words. "Huh…I never thought about that. Everyone will flock down here once things with Zelda are taken care of. Assuming those three giant light columns remain and don't disappear afterward."

"What makes you think they would?" Link inquired Pipit.

"Just a possibility. I haven't seen any indication that access to The Surface will be permanent. For all we know, we could never return here once the quest is done."

"What about Fi? Wouldn't she know?" Fledge pointed out.

"I'm afraid I do not have knowledge of that particular area post-quest," Fi admitted. "However, I think it is highly likely that some access to The Surface will be available. Her Grace, Hylia, loves this land deeply and would want all of her sisters' creations to enjoy it. Humans included. I do not believe she would let access be cut off permanently."

"I think that's a good enough indication," Link declared.

"I hope so. Owlan would be devastated if he couldn't come down here. He would love to see all these plants," Karane stated.

"Instructor Horwell would like the animals too, given how much he likes to care for Mia," Link added.

"Probably should keep him away from the carnivorous ones," Pipit suggested.

"Says the guy who tried to get a closer look at that Phoru while it was eating a Bokoblin," Fledge quipped, causing Pipit's face to flush.

"Momentary lapse in judgment-"

A loud chirp caused the group to stop. Given their experience with the Phoru, they were on high alert. Fortunately, though, they saw a small red bird pass by.

"Just a normal small bird," Link concluded.

"A Red Sparrow, to be exact, Master Link," Fi noted

"Sparrow?" Fledge repeated with a brow up. "That sounds like-"

A low rumbling was then heard from a distance. The ground started to shake a bit the louder the rumbling got. At first, the group believed it to be an earthquake until a small group of animals, which Fi identified as Forest Boars, jogged by in the human sightline. The boar's fur was blackish, with tusks sticking from their mouth. There were a few smaller ones with light brown fur with spots and no tusks that the group assumed to be baby boars. Adorable babies, as Karane & Fledge gushed about later in the day.

The herd of boars left went deeper into the woods. Seconds later, a Green Sparrow flew in front of the quartet, chirping as if signaling them they could move.

"Anyone feel like we witnessed some sort of gag?" Link wondered out loud.

None of his friends could provide an answer.

----

The Next Day…

Dozens of fish were jumping out of the water as the quartet walked alongside a sandbar of a river bed. These fish were round and chunky in shape. With red scales, a white underbelly & pectoral fins, a yellow dorsal fin & tail, and pink lips puckered up. The fish kept on jumping out of the water every second.

"What's with all these fishes? They're in a hurry or something?" Link watches the fish curiously.

"These fish are known as Cheep Fish," Fi shared. "They travel in groups known as schools up rivers in search of food. When traveling against currents, they would jump out of the water to get ahead."

"They won't cause any problems for us?"

"The fish don't eat anything bigger than them, so I see no reason to worry, Master Link."

"What about that bird?" Pipit pointed straight ahead.

A bird around the same size as the teens stood in their view. The bird had long legs, a neck, and a beak. Its feathers were coated with white, including the broad wings. Its head was dunked under the water of the river bank, pulling it out to finish drinking its water. It turned its head in the group's direction. A second later, it flew into the sky, letting out a rattling bugle sound.

"Was that a Phoru?" Fledge fretted.

"Definitely not, since it flew away, and Fi said they were flightless." Pipit's eyes slightly widen with worry. "Unless it's a species of Phoru that CAN fly."

"Worry not, Master Pipit. That bird right there is known as a River Crane. A bird species that tend to inhabit bodies of water."

Karane snaps her head in Link's direction. "That bird is what now?"

"A River Crane, Master Karane," Fi responded calmly.

Link let out a small snort. "What's so funny?" Karane demanded.

"Your name…It sounds similar to Crane. That's kinda funny."

"What! No way!"

"Okay, spell your name without the first 'A' in it."

Karane took that moment to think to herself. It only took her a few seconds. "Oh, Hylia, my name does sound similar…"

"That's like…the third bird species we discovered that has a name similar to someone we know back on Skyloft." Fledge pointed out.

"Don't be ridiculous. No way the names came from these birds!"

"Maybe with 'Eagus & Eagle,' I get skepticism, but now we got 'Karane & Crane,' and we still haven't talked about how 'Sparrow' sounds awfully close to Orielle's older brother 'Parrow.'

"You know, Fledge, you might be onto something. Now I'm getting curious about this myself," Pipit admitted.

"You guys are speaking nonsense at this point. I'm sure these are just crazy coincidences with perfect explanation-" Karane did not get a chance for one of the Cheap Fish leaped too close to the riverbank, placing its big pink lips on her whole face. "AHH! FISH! GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!"

Pipit was the first to grab a hold of the Cheep Fish immediately. This Cheep's lips surprisingly kept a good grip on the young girl's face and was completely unbothered by the distress it inflicted. "Get your dirty lips off of her…" Pipit gritted his teeth as he tugged on the tail.

One hard yank was enough for Pipit to get the Cheep off Karane's face. Unfortunately, it decided to make Pipit's face its new target. "GAH! DON'T PUT THEM ON ME!'

Pipit again tried to yank the fish off his face until he miraculously got it off. The recoil of the yank sent the fish flying toward Link. The Cheep's lip now covered Link's face.

"AUGH! NOW ITS ON ME!" Link stumbled blindly forward. He worked his hands around the fish until he found its tail. "How strong is this stupid fish…?" He attempted to pull on the Cheep that remained unfazed by the whole thing.

Fledge ran over, grabbing the Cheep on its sides. His enhanced strength allowed him to pull the fish off in one tug. The orange knight student kept the fish's face from him as he walked to the riverbank.

"Go suck on someone else's face!" Fledge tosses the Cheep back into the water. He turns his head back to his friends. "You guys good?"

"I think so." Karane held her chest as she pants, Pipit soothing her back, taking deep breaths as well.

"I'm okay," Link gave a thumbs up with one hand while the other rested on his knees and head lowered.

Seconds later, loud splashing was heard. The same Cheep leaped out of the water, rejoining its kind, acting like nothing had happened at all.

----

The Next Night…

The night ambiance of The Surface might be unsettling, even frightening. Still, Link found it relatively peaceful to listen to. He and the others had made camp for the night next to a large rock. The wood of the fire they had built had dulled into a dim glow. His friends have long since turned in for the night, with Fledge sleeping next to him and Pipit & Karane cuddling nearby, resting at the base of a downed log. Link remained wide awake.

Nighttime is where he felt most comfortable. Something about staying late had always made Link more content. He always had the motivation to read novels, do his homework, work on his wood carvings, and even practice swordplay. Sometimes, he would lie on his bed with his window open and hear the ambiance of Skyloft, which always made him more relaxed. Perhaps that is why he is awake, to get some semblance of that peace.

That is until he heard the familiar chime of The Master Sword.

"I certainly hope you intend to sleep soon, Master Link?"

"Don't worry, Fi. I just wanted some time of peace, you know."

"I understand, but it is important that you sleep, especially given your predicament. You need to be fully awake and alert if you are to survive down here."

"Alright, you win. I'll go to sleep now."

"Wise choice, Master. Good night."

Link lowered himself into his usual sleeping position. He relaxed, settling his body to fall asleep, until he heard the most terrifying shriek he had heard, startling him. The shriek was so loud it woke up the rest of his friends.

"AUGH!"

"Farore, Nayru, Din, and Hylia! What's making that!"

"Are monsters trying to kill us again?!"

The screeching continued as the quartet searched for it. The darkness of the night made it difficult to see. Fledge used his fire magic to light up the fireplace, shining light on the nearby trees, allowing them to see not the monster making the noise but a creature.

Another bird-like creature rested in the branches. The bird appeared to be at a foot or two tall. Its round, pale face had dark black eyes and a small beak. The bird's upper wings, back, and head were a mix of brown and gray. Its underwings were white, like the rest of its body.

This bird was sitting in the trees, paying no mind to the quartet. Another piercing screech came out of the bird's mouth. Somehow, it was even louder than the previous.

"Farore, what is this bird's deal?!" Pipit exclaimed as he covered his ears.

"This is worse than dragging nails on a chalkboard," Karane flinched at the bird.

The Bird screams again.

"Why is it so darn loud!" Fledge plugs his ears with his fingers.

"Fi!" Link called for the spirit. "What is that, and why is it so keen on keeping us awake?"

"This bird is a male Tytorni Owl. A species of bird that is nocturnal. It sleeps during the day but thrives at night. It's a carnivorous bird that hunts prey as large as rabbits. The screeching it is doing is a mere mating call, seeking a female to mate with."

The Tytorni Owl let out another shriek, much to Link's dismay. "And how long does this go on?"

Another screeching sound is heard from a distance. The Owl turned its head around, almost a complete one-eighty, in the sound's direction. It then flaps its wings and flies silently into the dark woods.

"I believe our friend has found who he was looking for," Fi simply concluded.

"Glad that's over…" Link breathed in relief.

"That was such a strange bird…" Pipit commented with bewilderment on his face. "Kinda creepy looking too."

"I thought it was kinda cute. Terrifying shrieking aside, that is," Fledge confessed.

"Maybe my sleepiness was making me see things, but I swore that thing turned its head around in a full circle," Karane mentioned.

"I saw that, too," Link agreed.

"How is that possible without it breaking its neck?"

"The Tytorni Owl and other owl species can do such a thing because of their eyes. Tytorni Owls do not have eyeballs but rather eye tubes. These tubes are locked in place. Therefore, Owls can not move their eyes the same way we do. So they have to move their head, thanks to special blood vessels."

Karane blinked. "Okay, not gonna lie, that's creepy but kinda cool."

All the guys could do was look at her. "What? That is impressive."

"Tytorni Owl…" Link muttered. "Owl…Why does that sound familiar?"

"That does sound similar to Instructor Owlan's name," Fledge specified.

Again, the guys turn to face Karane. "Still think it's an odd coincidence?" Pipit asks her.

"Okay, I will admit there seems to be an interesting trend of birds down here being similar to those in Skyloft. But it doesn't prove that they came from these particular birds. We never saw nor heard of them before we came down here. How would one even get these names?"

"Maybe we're all characters of some grand story, and the writer wanted to be funny," Link blurted out jokingly, causing his friends to all give him perplexed expressions. "When you stay up late like me, you think of many thoughts." Link merely shrugged.

"Hold on a minute, you were staying up late again?" Pipit exclaimed. Karane & Fledge narrowed their eyes in disapproval at Link.

Link realized his slip-up. "Uh nope! I mean, I do it often, but totally not tonight, hehe..." Link said with an unconvincing toothy smile. His friend's expression did not falter. "Oh wow, we should totally go back to sleep now. Good night, guys!"

Link lay on his side, facing his friends, letting out fake snores.

"He's such a big dork sometimes," Karane remarked.

"Yeah," Fledge agreed. "But as Zelda once told me: He's our dork."

----

The Next Morning…

The first thing that greeted Pipit the next time he opened his eyes was the sunlight of dawn. Fortunately, he and the other had not been woken up by anything else, horny owls included. Blinking his eyes a few times, he sat up, giving his arms & back a stretch as he let out a yawn. A bird's chirp caught his attention.

Standing near the base of his show was a small bird. Not a Chirri, nor a Parrow-er, Sparrow bird. This tiny bird differs from the other two species Pipit has seen. The entirety of its body was covered with yellow, almost the same shade as his knight uniform. But there were patches of brown on their wings and the neckline, nearly the same color as his hair.

The tiny bird's eyes met with Pipit. It tilts its head to the side, curiously staring at him. The bird let out a tweet. The bird then flew onto Pipit's knees.

"Well, hello there." Pipit greeted the bird, who chirped almost in response. "Getting an early start on the day, huh?"

"Who are you talking to?" Karane sat up, rubbing the tiredness out of her eyes. Pipit gestured to the bird on his knee for her to see. "Made a new friend?"

"He seems to like me."

"What's going on?" Fledge said tiredly.

"Pipit made a new friend," Karane stated.

Fledge gazed at the bird. "That's a pretty bird."

The bird flew over to Link, who was still sleeping. He did not stir when the bird landed on its head nor when it pecked at his hair. The trio of friends couldn't help but giggle at Link's lack of reaction.

"He stayed up late again, didn't he?" Fledge guessed.

"Yep," Karane answered with total confidence. "The world could end now, and he'll sleep through it."

"Wonder what kind of bird it is," Pipit wondered.

"Pipit," Fi called out.

"Yes?" Pipit responded.

"I didn't call for your name, Master Pipit. I was sharing the name of this species of bird, which is a Pipit Bird."

The air grew quiet between the friends, and you could hear a pin drop. Both pairs of eyes glued onto a flabbergasted Pipit, who had no idea what to say to such a revelation. The Pipit Bird chirped nonchalantly, flying back into the air without a care.

"So…um, still think these eerily similar bird names are a coincidence?" Pipit said to Karane after several minutes.

In response, Karane let out a loud groan. "HOW IN THE NAME OF THE FOUR GODDESSES DID WE GET THESE NAMES?!"

"Ididn'tstayuplate!" Link woke up in a gasp from Karane's loud voice. His three friends give him weird looks. "What? Did I miss something?"

----

Somewhere not too far ahead...

A group of Bokoblins was scouting the area, searching for food. At one point, the leader, a Blue Bokoblin, barked at their subordinates to spread their search. The rest of the Bokoblins wandered a little further away, leaving the Blue Leader alone.

The Blue Bokoblin Leader stood watch, ensuring each of its subordinates was doing their tasks and not slacking off. All seemed well until I heard some thick bushes rattle. At first, it assumed it was one of its troops searching nearby until it realized that none of the other Bokoblins were near it. Curious, the Blue Leader decided to investigate.

When the Bokoblin had gotten closer, it heard sounds that seemed to be breathing. A giddy smile grew upon the pig monster's lips. Thinking it found dinner, The Blue Bokoblin ran straight into the brush. On the other side, it crashed into a large leathery, scale object. Dark reptilian-like eyes stared back.

A scream rang into the air, catching the rest of the Bokoblins attention. They all ran to the source of their leader's scream. Seconds later, they all ran off in pure terror.

Left behind was the severed head of the Blue Bokoblin that had tumbled out into the opening.

A long, slender, scale snout with rows of dozens of sharp teeth peaked from behind the bush. It grabbed the Blue Bokoblin's head, securing it with its teeth. The rows of teeth moves back behind the bushes.

[nature-played-a-trick-on-me]

I've been following you for a while and I really admire your strength and will to get better! It is so, so difficult to even get to this part, you can be so proud of yourself even tho it's still more than difficult to get through the getting better phase. (note: better does mean whatever this means for you and not necessarily becoming a functioning member of capitalism) I am rooting for you and sending warm hugs!

That said: Your bf doesn't seem to be mature enough to be in a relationship at all, independent from your struggles. Because he is not willing to get better and he seems to be completely inconsiderate towards you and I bet this is a problem he'd have with another person, too. So this is not on you! I know it is not my place to say anything here, but I don't even know you or him but always feel disappointed in him when you talk about him. And if he doesn't make you feel good about yourself and doesn't support your healing journey as he should, then I don't know if he deserves to be part of that journey... And I think you need to think about if he really does help you on that journey or if he's (even unintentionally) hindering you. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you or you him, but gotta be real here: sometimes love is not enough, when a person (him in this case) still has a ton of growing up and self-discovering to do.

Thank youuuu I really appreciate this 💕💕💕 (lov for the wide definition of getting better as well)

It's difficult because in many other situations he is super considerate and happy to help out. I also often come here to vent and less so to gush about him so that might skew with how he seems.

We asked him to call me at a certain time with his decision and it worked, and we had a good conversation about it all. I definitely want to have conversations around issues before drawing my conclusions too strongly.

I know myself and I can easily get upset or overwhelmed and I don't want to make decisions based on those feelings, it's better to talk it over when I'm calmer and then I can figure out how I actually feel about the whole situation (instead of going by the initial 🚨🚨WAAAAH🚨🚨 induced by overwhelm and flashbacks )

We talked about his comments on my housekeeping recently and it ended up clearing a lot of stuff up and it's not really an issue anymore, so I do sort of trust we can talk through other issues as well!

His parents' house is on the verge of being a hoarder home and unfortunately getting increasingly full and dirty and offers to help out aren't accepted by his mother, his dad is ill and cannot help - it's just a complex situation he can't fix and neither can I. The atmosphere can be really bad and tense and it's not a place he can grow in and I'm getting so uncomfy there that I've asked to spend more time at my place instead. It's hard to overemphasise how choking that place is, he can barely even make a cup of coffee in peace... he's thought about therapy but thinks there's little point in it while he lives there. I don't entirely agree ( I mean a therapist could help him cope) but I do agree that moving out will probably improve his mental health in the long term and will give him room to grow.

Bf is on a waiting list for his own place with some support, he should be nearing the end of the waiting list in the next few months. I expect that moving out will help him and us a LOT. No longer having 24/7 hovering and not being in a dirty overfilled home... him living alone will also be a bit of a struggle at the beginning I think but ultimately it'll make things better for everyone.

TL;DR is like. I can react really strongly emotionally due to ptsd and other stuff, and in those moments I need to pull the hand brake and not act on those emotions in that moment.

When I've calmed down, we can successfully talk through things and figure them out. And he is moving out in the foreseeable future, where he will have more room to grow as a person.

[leadendeath]

thinkin about being medicated and my work..

i still have intense trouble getting started.

(that post i recently rbed about "the world feeling like it's wrapped in a thin layer of cling wrap that i gotta break through every time i want to do an action" is so so accurate bless op of that post)

AND staying focused i have trouble.... but it is clearer in my mind what i need to do.

like example: i have a simple animation/animatic in mind, and i have the first three frames done already, and know i next need to gather some ref images to progress to the next part. another example: i have an art req to complete, i thought about how i wanted it to look for the first day, then the next day used heroforge like you would use a mannequin to make the pose i wanted, to help me draw it, and then i started drawing!!! i'm already on the colour stage, go me!!! and i'm actually having fun with it?!? not clickbait

so there's that. but i thiiink... i might overall- in the big picture of things- work a little better. or a lot better. idk. it's certainly improved, because two of the most monumentally difficult problems to deal with which i have (which are chemical) have been corrected. my chemical levels are at a normal person level now, so that reduces some of the terrible brain fog that depression gives, which hinders accomplishing anything. (i have brain fog also due to a chronic neurological illness but yeah it's reduced all of it by like 25% :])

it feels like i have uninstalled a lot of the bloatware that depression/ocd gives your brain! i've already described it as the brain feels cluttered with all the unwanted shit in there and how much time is taken up when you have to check and repeat things. and now there is more space for nice stuff and thinking clearly :)))

but i'm sad to say meds hasn't fixed everything :/ i knew it wouldn't, i mean it's not specifically intended to help executive dysfunction/dopamine levels, it's for better amounts of serotonin and noradrenaline. but yeah i know i still have dopamine levels to fix. but this has just cemented it in my mind that "hmm yeah buddy, u got more than just the two other chemicals out of whack ://"

when i have my 6-month check in to update the docs on how i'm doing, i'll definitely ask to be put on the adhd waiting list. 3 years wait last time i heard!!! yayyy!!! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ /sarcasm

and that's for the free service. yes i get free healthcare in my country. no it isn't very good. yes i realise how lucky i am regardless. i don't think i've ever owned 4 digits in the bank in my life but the place i want to go to for private healthcare was if i remember correctly around 2,500 for the full assessment and follow ups. eh, we'll see what happens first, i move up the waiting list or somehow earn a few thousand. at least we don't have that barbaric "you can only have $2,999.99 in the bank at any time or you get no disability anymore" system like you guys have in the states, i think about that all the time and it's so upsetting :'( *sympathetic hug to u*

[tiikerikani]

An unexpected encounter

What really happened:

Oh no!! I was at the thrift shop just now and someone tapped me on the shoulder and was like HEY I've seen you at Vesterinen gigs! I'm like ?!! I don't immediately know who she is, I assume it's another groupie so I'm like "when's your next gig? Is it Tavastia?" And she's like "no, in Tampere." My brain starts spinning. In February? It’s odd that a Helsinki-area groupie wouldn’t be at Tavastia in 2 weeks. "It's... ah... next Thursday I think?" She starts swiping through her phone. "It's the Pir—" and I'm thinking I don't remember seeing that on the calendar, must be some private thing?? somebody's special I know exactly what she's talking about.

Earlier...

2023.11.30 – Pirhalaiset yhdessä vapaalla (TähtiAreena, Tampere)

So, uh… a friend of a friend's employer had this staff social thing, and she kindly let me have her ticket since it's not her kind of music and (as it turns out) appeared to have other plans anyway. We figured that it's a large enough organization that nobody there knows everybody else, so I could probably stay under the radar as long as nobody tried to socialize with me.

Some people with ADHD are reckless risk-takers; I get my rush from scheming (never in a malicious way) and going unnoticed. (I loved playing pretend ninjas and spies as a kid.) And that's why you're only finding out about this now :)

I noticed that there were a lot of people on the bus who were kind of nicely dressed and some were introducing people to each other. Not at all surprising that about half of the bus was going to the same place.

I'm here on a mission so I didn’t avail myself of the (cash) bar and beelined towards the stage. I covered my hair to try to hide my foreignness a bit since the crowd was overwhelmingly, well, European.

I didn’t want to show up right at the start of the event, which I thought might draw attention to myself. There was already a lot of people and the warmup act/party band was Duo Töyssy & Tervaniemi, who were already playing. I was mostly familiar with the songs they were covering so I could at least fake singing along with the crowd a bit, and there was a part when they did Lady Gaga's Poker Face, which then turned into a Finnish translation of it, then into a medley of some other (Finnish) songs. They even covered a Vesterinen song (albeit an older one — Villihevosia, which is itself a cover — as to not step on their toes). They were certainly very entertaining and good at what they do.

There were then some speeches from the event organizer and organization heads. It was said there were about 300 people there and it was being livestreamed for folks who couldn't make it. I laugh and cheer along with everybody else, I'm getting better at doing this in a natural way to blend in.

Unlike at "normal" public shows, people weren't so glued to the barricade that they sometimes even stepped away so I eventually found my own space there.

I don’t think anybody suspected anything of the weird foreigner screaming all the songs at the front. I couldn't tell if the band noticed me though. I was too occupied taking (bad) pictures to do too much dramatic gesticulating. (Also something about not attracting too much attention.)

The organizers wanted to do a crowd photo with the band after so I tried to face away from the camera then :P

I had considered asking the roadies for the set list (because this was something the Blondes wouldn’t have) but I forgot and I needed to chase down any band member before they disappeared.

Senpai, unable to help himself because he is too damn nice, was trapped giving people selfies. I elbowed my way to that end of the barricade and saw Heini, so I shouted at her and handed her my bag of miniatures. (This was actually ideal because I’d tagged her in my Instagram pic of her figure in progress so she is aware of its existence.) I continued toward the exit and watched Heini dragging Senpai away (”sorry we gotta go, we’re going to Seinäjoki tomorrow”). I caught his eye and waved and he waved and gave his slightly startled look (very familiar to me now). To be honest I’m not sure if the contradiction between the occasion and my presence there crossed his mind…

Maailma palaa

Kohti sydänpeltoja

Ilman mua

Tummilla teillä

Rodeo

Kukaan ei koskaan

Faarao (no intro)

Kolme hyvää vinkkiä

Älä lopu yö

Onnellinen mies

Hetken ikuinen

// Kanto (with seriously long guitar solo)

// Arlandan portailla

[Concert write-up archive and master calendar]