#When Heart has differing goals. sees a different path to helping the whole. it reads as an active betrayal.

[sunnydayaoe]

hi i'm the anon that asked about npd mind and i am So Excited for the comic :D just wanted to say that

Sorry I lost motivation pretty intensely halfway though... I hope you still like this haha

Erm put a lot in tags if you want more... actual thoughts on mind instead of tiny bite sized 1-2 panels

[pikahlua]

What are your thoughts on Deku's whole arc about wanting to save Shigaraki? I am a little confused on what his goal was, as it seems he was okay with killing him if he was left with no choice. What exactly did he mean by 'save'?

This is actually a big piece I've been pondering over for a while, and I've got a sort of work-in-progress reading on it.

The person that triggered Izuku's instinct to save was Tenko crying inside one of Tomura's memories. Tenko is the one he wants to save. The thing is, Tenko doesn't exist anymore. Izuku is too late to save him, whether it be in that traumatic moment where he killed his family, or the person he has grown into by the time Izuku comes to this conclusion. AFO has already fused with Tomura. The entity into which they are fused is no longer Tenko, and thus no longer savable (or at least not 100% savable).

It's like the piece of Shirakumo inside Kurogiri. Shirakumo has been used as an "ingredient" in a sense and merged into Kurogiri. There's no separating the spliced people that went into Kurogiri. There's no undoing the programming. BUT there is a small, unfused sliver of Shirakumo that can "muddy the waters" when you poke it hard enough.

Still, Izuku wants to save Tenko, even though he's too late. The only thing he can do to save that memory of a crying child IS to go after the memory. Consider: before MVA, Tomura didn't have that memory of killing his family. He blocked it out. His ascension into a "monster," the "greatest villain," at the end of MVA was a process triggered by the resurfacing of that memory. As Tomura regained that memory, he framed it as a piece of his identity. He didn't want to face the tragedy of his past and the hurt he experienced because it was too great, so instead he justified the memory by believing it was always in his nature to destroy. He believes he is a destroyer, which is rooted in that traumatic memory, and that explains everything he has gone through. It justifies the destruction he wants to wreak as well. This internalized framing is core to his motivation.

The only chance Izuku has of stopping Tomura's destruction is to reframe that core memory. So he goes into the memory and does that. He tries to save Tenko, he tries to hold his hand and be there for him as he cries, and in doing so rejects this idea that Tenko's very nature is just to destroy. Izuku unearths the other feelings that were core to Tenko before his trauma--his desire to help others. This is the proof that Tenko was never a destroyer by nature, and it frays the existence that is Tomura Shigaraki.

Izuku cannot ACTUALLY go back in time and undo all that happened to Tenko, but he CAN change Tomura, who was birthed from Tenko's suffering. He does so by changing the way Tomura perceives that core memory of Tenko's. This is the way in which "Tenko" is saved. Tomura acknowledges Tenko was just a child who was hurt and needed help. This is likely what All Might was referring to when he told Izuku he saved Tomura's heart (or soul or whatever).

HOWEVER, Tomura himself is not undone by this revelation. The Tomura we see in the end that destroys AFO and bids Izuku farewell is one that has regressed back to his unfused state. This is the Tomura who sought to lead the League of Villains--or in other words, this is the Tomura who destroyed to save people. This is the Tomura who wished to be a hero for the villains, and he refuses to be "saved" from being that person. If left alive, he would go on destroying to save those people all the same. He would just do it for a different reason than to justify his identity. Tomura himself has never professed any interest in what happens after he destroys everything, so his ending was always one of instability. He wouldn't build anything upon the ruins of what he destroys, he would likely end up destroyed himself and leave the rebuilding to others to do. Because he is committed to this path, he destroys AFO, the source of everything about his life he hated and always professed he wanted to destroy, and in doing so destroys himself as well.

That last bit is where things get hazy for me. AFO's "trump card" is the piece I haven't fully integrated into this reading, and I know I need to...[long-suffering sigh] go back and reread the Overhaul arc before I come close to finalizing anything. But it's been long enough that I feel I can start to share some of these readings I've been stewing on.

[emotionaldepravity]

Your yandere Obito had my heart thumping and my face completely red from embarrassment. (I may or may not have been smiling the whole time reading it, huehuehue.) May I please request more yandere Obito[from Naruto.] once again? Anything, even a sliver of Obito to get me through my day? NSFW, or not, either is completely fine. Thank you, so, so much, you wonderful skeleton covered in flesh. :3

YES I CAN HELP! I'm actually going to be a bit wacky... this builds off the stuff from last time mostly the "feeding his delusion" route for the nsfw stuff. Link here to part 1/context! I'm so excited that I get to write more for this!

-Maybe he was just being stubborn, but Obito was denying how he really felt. So many thoughts ran through his head as he did his best to play his role as Madara.

-Yet no matter how much Zetsu urged him, he just kept going back to your apartment. He had lost count how many "keepsakes" he had "borrowed" from your home. If he wasn't careful, he might end up taking everything. You might move to a less convenient location or not sleep so soundly and sweetly when he made his nightly visit. It was growing more difficult to keep himself from you.

-Why should he? No, why should he deny you of him? There was plenty of time before the Eye of the Moon plan was finalized. The board was running slow, but as long as the pieces kept moving in order, he could spend a little time with you. Not realizing he had to capture the tailed beasts in order showed him how impatient he really was.

-His conflicted heart made his path blurry. It was extremely risky to see you, and the moment he was set on the Uchiha clan's downfall, he knew that he was going to have to make his choice. To take you with him the night before he was set to meet with Itachi or cut himself off from you completely.

-That would have either been the last night you noticed you "lost" random things or the night he revealed himself to you. He never regrets the choice he makes even if it leads to unhappiness. He might long to see your face as he rereads your diary, but he knows you only have to suffer his death not suffer the man he is now. On the other hand, he might see how miserable you are at his side, but he strongly believes you'd be even worse off without knowing that he is alive.

-Living as a member of the Akatsuki, willingly or not, forces you to lie at every turn. You have to feign knowing that Tobi is anything but a silly rookie. Unfortunately, he doesn't let you ignore him either. He pairs you up with himself and has you run missions with him.

-If you enjoy playing with him as Tobi, he gets even deeper into his role for you when alone. Though, he knows its a mockery of him as a child in some ways, he'd happily be that idiot for you as long as you keep smiling for him.

-Just the sight of you keeps him from being lost as the ten tails tries to rip his mind apart. He has a goal he must fulfill for you, sorry I mean you, sorry I mean you, sorry I mean Rin. The lies swim in his head, but he knows he just wants you to be with a version of him that isn't so horrible.

NSFW Warning/ Dub-con Warning

-If he wasn't so deep in denial, he'd actually realize that all his dirty fantasies involved you. He can't think of Rin in such a way so his body desires you, craves you. It might be under layers and layers of "this is what you want to do with him."

-The first time Obito masturbated with your panties wrapped around his cock, he rubbed it raw. He didn't really know what he was doing, but the thought that under different circumstances you could catch him like this, drove him wild. He gets caught up in the loop of using something so intimate to you for his own pleasure that he wouldn't realize that he is ruining the material or hurting himself. The pain makes his cock twitch just as much as the soft material around his sensitive skin does. It makes him drool a bit at the thought of you masturbating to him like this.

-If you end up on the path where you are on his side and feeding into his delusion that its actually you who is obsessed with him, he will eventually succumb to his lust. Without pretense and once you were alone with him in the Kamui dimension, he'd toss his mask away and kiss you without restraint. He'd bring you close to him letting you feel just how hard he is knowing what he planned to do.

"I know I'm spoiling you for the other me, but I don't think you'll mind that much. You've wanted me for so long after all. Let me reward you for your loyalty."

-If he strips you down and you are wet at all, he is going to feel so validated in his actions and so very attractive. Even this version of him that he considered worthless is enough for you to want him. To him that's equally beautiful and tragic.

-This would have been his first time with anyone so he is extremely inexperienced. He'd probably come the instant he was inside you, but he would be very much ready to keep going.

-You being a virgin as well would drive him insane.

"You saved yourself for me? Oh [Y/N], I shouldn't have made you wait so long!"

-He is very vocal switching between growls and whines as he ruts into you. His position preference would be for you be looking up at him. Nothing else really matters to him as long as his dick is inside you. In a different situation he'd have you on all fours and unable to see his scarred face, but you love him right? It would be too cruel for him not to see you looking into his eye with an expression of pure pleasure and too cruel for you not to get to enjoy "the man you love" as he is intimate with you.

-By virtue of being a virgin or a miracle, if you somehow come around his cock, he will take it as permission to take you like this again. Its addicting for him to make you shudder and call his name out like that. Who would have thought being your savior would feel so good for him?

-Depending on how bad his performance was for you, he would be willing to learn how to please you better. Over time he will improve as he explores your body more, but he would only ask how to do better on the chance you complain. He might be a bit embarrassed, but what can he say, he knows he isn't the version you'll be with for the rest of eternity.

-He'd be overly regretful over his actions if he ever saw you cry after sex. It almost hurts him as much as it hurts you. He is just doing what he thinks you want. He is trying to make it easier for you to be around him and easier for him to keep himself in his delusion.

-While he starts off very vanilla, he finds out he has a praise kink and a roleplay kink. He likes to hear you tell him his handsome. Though he'd probably refute the

He wants to hear you say the things that he believes you are thinking. Craving that validation of his delusion, he might have you recite certain entries from your diary while he eats you out. Yes, he figured out where your clit is. It just took him a second.

-Whether its Hokage-personal anbu guard roleplay or him fulling putting himself in the Tobi or Madara roles, he really enjoys imagining that the man he is now isn't the one fucking you senseless in the Kamui dimension. It helps him feel a little less guilty for enjoying himself in a way that's not possible in the Infinite Tsukiyomi. If he is willing to be a little less selfish he might even ask you what sort of scenario you'd enjoy.

-Cumming on your face is where he likes to finish the most. It feels so wrong to see you, a proud shinobi, covered in his fluids, and oh so arousing. He often burns the image into his brain by turning on his sharingan. If he is feeling particularly cruel, he might work on learning genjutsu just so he can make you see yourself.

[timetogetfeisty]

i overanalyze mrd songs/levels: mini moon (high moon)

bpm: 125

nightmare count: 61 (if I counted right)

(long post :3)

okay purepari already did a whole video essay on this (which you should watch…) so to avoid plate of corn-ing this game that has already been out for four years I’m going to do my best to only mention new things

In the video, purepari makes a really good point that Mini Moon is a more vertical level compared to many of the others, and I think that generates a lot of meaning in other areas. Because it’s such a vertical level, there’s a LOT of nightmares (the purple/yellow monsters). This, of course, is partly because… there aren’t many other ways to go up (except wall jumping and gusts of wind) but I think there’s also another reason.

When Mad Rat first encounters a nightmare in the first stage, Rat God calls it as such and tells him that to defeat it, he’ll need to make a wish and punch it. So I like thinking that every time there’s a level with a ton of nightmares (I think mini moon has the most?) it marks a point where Mad Rat makes a big wish. The wish could be a lot of things- purepari mentions that his goal goes from killing the scientist to dying peacefully, but a goal is different from a wish- a goal is more a wish that’s been put into action. So Mad Rat is wishing for something that he won’t be able to achieve right now.

It’s kind of similar to If We Could Be Friends, (which I will definitely also be covering) which I see as Rat God wondering what life would be like if she wasn’t forced to be a parasite by nature before cutting herself off because thinking like that would get in the way of her goal. Mad Rat’s lines about reincarnation and the next life, I feel, are him hoping for another life where he gets to spend more time with Heart, and where maybe Rat God doesn’t have to do all of these things just to live (which can be real if you read my fanfic!!1!). Thinking about this comforts him, and he feels a bit better about leaving this life (although some anxiety still remains). It’s not worth living forever and going against nature if you’ll be back anyway.

The verticality is also probably the reason why the level is called “high moon”- Mad Rat can’t possibly reach the moon in this life, but he can at least get close to it. Even getting close to it is hard, though, but like pushing through the hallucinations and helping others, Mad Rat finds the energy to make it to the top.

Mini Moon is similar to several other songs, whether it’s intentional or not. Most importantly, there’s the Heart’s Beat / Mad Heart motif at 0:59 (using this video as a ref), which makes perfect sense considering that this is such an emotional moment for both of them. Heart is scared because he knows he doesn’t have much time to tell Mad Rat about the truth of the operation, but he still doesn’t want to reveal who he really is. Mad Rat is scared because he’s about to die, and again, Heart’s beat is what is keeping him on his path up to the moon.

I’m very hesitant about this next one because they’re two songs by two different artists but I also hear Call Me Jack at 0:32 (here is the part in Call Me Jack if it’s hard to hear)?? I mean it wouldn’t be the first time considering Cottage House also uses Heart’s theme but even I’m struggling to think of a reason why it’s there. I guess it’s another one of Heart’s hints that he’s a cat like the black cat, or it’s his way of reminding Mad Rat of one of the marks he’s left by saving the black cat.

It also sounds similar to Outside and Mad Rat Heart in general which makes sense because they’re all by Dyes Iwasaki but surprisingly enough I think that’s how far it goes. believe me I tried. The only thing worth mentioning is that outside and mini moon both have a beat drop at 1:18 after a very long buildup which could be mad rat finally being able to see the real world after years of being in a cage / the two of them finally being free of the cycle rat god put them in

anyway yeah mini moon. crying. sobbing. if you made it this far thank you I will be doing more

[vermilliondevth]

For Dante, the bottom of hell is filled with betrayers - which makes child-sexual abuse become one of the ultimate forms of betrayal. "Someone who takes the role of a guardian to be the wolf". To expose a child to the heart of darkness - such level of malevolence at such a young age only brings pure devastation; trauma. It is said that to combat this, one must go through a topography of hell - develop a philosophy and understanding of "good and evil".

I was exposed to this exact level of malevolence at the age of 6. After that, all that I have known was chaos and absolute darkness. Yet, my obsession to understand it - to understand this kind of evil has become more fervent over the past year, because I want to learn how to control the monster within, so I can help others overcome it. The only way to combat this, is by understanding it, merging with it, reconciling with it - and choosing to embody the good - truth, beauty and love.

A colleague recently asked me what kind of books I was interested in reading at the moment, and when I told her, the room suddenly became tense and bleak. She asked me - "Aren't these subjects a little bit too intense? Doesn't it worry you that you might be perceived in a wrong way?" in which I responded with - "I do not seek to read these books in order to be part of a cult or to do harm onto others, but to understand why humans are the way they are. This is for my own healing journey and it's a path I must cross alone, I do not expect anyone to understand it. My goal is to be able to use this knowledge to heal and to help others heal - to understand why being a good human being is so incredibly important, specially amongst pain and trauma. It's okay if you perceive me differently after this - this is my truth, and I will continue treating you with kindness and respect regardless."

On another note, this whole entire passage of thought just confirms to me that I need to get Dante's: Inferno, asap, and maybe also visit the Royal Opera House next to see The Royal Ballet: "The Dante Project."

[jtrokujo]

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐇𝐘 𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐎𝐗𝐈𝐂¿

paring: Mikaela Hyakuya x fem!Reader

(they’re 18+!!!)

word count: 4k

warning: this story contains sexual content

gerne: smut

summary: there are days when they get along well but there were also days when they hated each other like the plague and even though they love each other?

—

The weather is neutral, but I wish it got better.

The sun is obscured by the gray clouds, but it's not windy or anything.

You could even go out with a top.

However, y / n decided to take a seat in the four walls with a number of different books and a tall pile of books right next to them.

As she gently leafed through the pages of the somewhat older book, she felt a stab.

Of course it didn't hurt since no one was attacking her, but it felt like someone was watching her.

Without presenting her feelings, she took some books and put the rest where she got them.

Immediately after leaving the library, she stopped in the middle of the path and said with an annoyed sigh, "Bathory, I know you're here."

He stands grinning in front of y / n, but could hardly show a disappointed face.

With his head tilted to one side, he looked at his prey and smiled at her immediately. "I prefer you to call me by my first name, dear."

“I do what I want and not what you want, Bathory. Besides, I have better things to do than waste my precious time being influenced by you. "

When they told the vampire, she continued on her way, or at least intended to.

As quickly as he came, he grabbed her arm just as quickly. "But y / n, why is it in such a hurry?" asked the vampire, amused, pressing more and more on hers with every second, so slowly you could hear her bones. Y / n had to react immediately!

Without thinking for a second, she dropped all of the books on the white floor and immediately grabbed her gun. "You should let go of me!" y / n's voice rang out down the hall and immediately shot the vampire in the arm.

His blood spurted around her.

Y / n got his blood on her face as well as on her clothes - it was the same with Bathory, also the wall and especially the floor got his blood.

"Disgusting." mumbled y / n and wiped the blood on her face, although she knew herself that it would be of no use.

"What's going on here?" Everyone but not him.

"Hello Mika!" said Ferid with delight and turned to get a better look at him.

"Have you lost your nerve again?" he asked me annoyed, but he only looked at me for a few seconds and immediately saw Ferid's blood spatter.

"What do you mean 'again'?"

Even if we've known each other for a long time, we both have to admit that one and the other have diverged. Sometimes it was his fault, sometimes it was me. There were of course moments when we got along really well, but in the end they weren't enough in my opinion.

"Since you've lived with us, at least one vampire must have got something from your weapon."

Said the blond-haired vampire while his eyes stared at me.

I'm not understating when I say that his eyes alone make me feel naked.

Mika only manages to control me through his eyes, even though I should be the one who should control every vampire or the various books I spend most of my time on just one more bad joke.

It was enough for vampires to exist and more than hundreds of people took their own lives just to be able to enjoy themselves. To this day I cannot forgive any of the vampires for what they did to me or those around me. I know myself that there are bad ones, but what is their goal?

Or do you have a goal?

"Y / n." I heard his voice.

Awakened from my trance, I see his eyes again. However, they do not have this previous aura, no, they are a little stricter this time. When I gave him a sign of his attention, the lecture immediately came, "You are old enough to know how to behave and with whom to behave. If you show this behavior to someone else, I'll let that person do it . " and do what they want, because I haven't had the nerve for someone like you for a long time. So finally know your limits before I use my weapon against you! "

Impressive. From sentence to sentence his voice grew louder and louder. Seriously, I never expected or even had the idea of ​​this side of Mika in my life, but here it is. Wonderful y / n, now you have managed to sink deeply with Mika, which is actually the very last thing I ever wanted to achieve in my life, but life has never been a paradise.

With a chuckle, Bathory put his arm and my shoulders and spoke to Mika.

"But, but Mika shouldn't be so strict with her. She's just a little girl again, not even now, is she?" "If I were that little girl, you would surely have two arms instead of one." After saying my sentence, I picked up the books that were still on the floor and didn't say goodbye to anyone, why should I?

Bathory is nothing more than an idiot who uses his satisfaction to see others suffer rather than provoke them too.

While Mika nudges both children like a father, although the other is to blame for everything.

When I got to my room, I put the books on my table and sat on my bed, thinking about the old days. However, I don't think of the days with loved ones that I lost, but of those that I spent with Mika before he gave me a “better life”.

I could leave it all behind at any time and either not start an old or a new life, but I love to have him in my heart for it.

Sighing at my thoughts, I give up and stood in front of my closet for the next minute.

While the lukewarm water felt the white bathtub, my clothes landed on the floor.

This life is more of a calling expected of others than a life of its own. A break does no harm to anyone.

I said to myself and after a few seconds I closed my eyes.

After my bath or a break from the real world, I'm just choosing which book to read.

As I was about to start the new book, someone knocked on my door.

Hesitantly, I said the door was open and waited for the person behind it to appear. Please leave it all but Bathory.

Sighing, I immediately put my hand on my left breast and saw him, Mika.

To be honest, I'm happy to see him, but I'm not, but I don't need an explanation. "Good evening." he said in his usual tone. Without making a big head out of it, I repeated it myself, but added if he needed anything from me.

Shivering, I answered my question in the negative and came up to me with slow steps.

The only thing I could do was do nothing. I stopped. When our faces are a few centimeters away, his arm came slowly towards my body, until he reached for something, when he had this in his hand, he came back with a few steps and immediately held a book in my face.

"I really recommend it, I have to say, you have pretty good taste when it comes to books. I've read it several times because these stories, the writing style, the plot and most of all the characters are up to me." uniquely well written down to the smallest detail. "

I looked at the vampire in amazement. "You read that too?" "Y / n, if I hadn't read it, I wouldn't have a clue either."

A little ashamed of my oh-so-intelligent question, I also looked at the floor.

The whole time there was nothing to be heard, neither a little intoxication, nor even breathing. But after a few seconds, Mika also broke the embarrassing silence by taking a few steps and holding out his arm to me. I don't understand it about myself. When Mika is around, I either act annoyed or neutral. However, countless butterflies gather in my stomach when I think of him alone!

"Y / n ... y / n?!" Mika looked up, gave me a neutral look and at the same time held a few strands of my hair and asked me if he should tie my hair up with a towel. I gently took the wet strands of hair from his hand and began to giggle at my discomfort and nervousness. The thought of me being weird was always out of the question.

"I think I'll blow dry my hair. I'll see you at dinner or tomorrow."

"I'll see you at dinner or tomorrow." repeated Mika before she disappeared from my room.

Locked in the room and caught in his deepest thoughts, he stared over the ceiling.

The reviews of that day haunted him to this day when he also dreamed them.

Sleeping now wouldn't be for him, even though it is shortly before 2 o'clock.

But what can you do about it?

The vampire rose from the bed, stretched out, and decided to go for a walk immediately.

As he walked through the empty corridors, he always hoped not to meet anyone.

Whatever stays that way.

Bored and hands in his pockets, the floor caught his attention. It didn't take long, however, because he was amazed to get up when he saw the light coming from someone's room.

He was more than sure whose room, or rather chamber, it was.

It was Y / n's.

He stopped in front of it, thinking, held out his hand and wanted to knock on the door. At the same time he quickly put his hand in his pocket. This scenario takes about 3 minutes. But it wasn't the vampire's nervousness that was unusual, no, why should he be at y / n's door? This is funny.

Doesn't he often seem annoyed or stern in your presence?

Well, he doesn't even know what's going on in his head.

After an eternity, the vampire finally knocked on the human's door and immediately heard "Come in" from the other side.

Without telling himself twice, he opened the door and saw her. He saw her spread out on the large bed with several notes and books.

Stressed out. You can't see it from the outside, but even Mika can confess that he thinks it is strange to see y / n at this time.

"Do you need something?" she asked him and fixed him with her gaze.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping long ago?" he asked and at the same time crossed his arms over his chest.

"Mika, I could ask you that too, don't you think?" sigh y / n and slowly start piling up her notes and books together.

When Mika offered her help, she politely declined and slowly and carefully put the things on her desk.

"If you have nothing special to do, you can always keep me company, you know?"

Yes, even if there is an argument between the two, they still get along well. However, they don't seem to be as close as they used to be. Without saying anything, Mika accepted the offer and sat next to y / n.

Was that really wise?

The smell of y / n gets over his head, but he's not as easy to lose control as other vampires.

Breathing hard, Mika rubbed her eyes and hoped that this unbearable smell would go away any moment.

Easier said than done.

If only I had drunk blood in the last few days. The vampire cursed.

Y / n noticed his unusual behavior and tried to communicate with him, but to no avail. She called his name several times, tapped him on the shoulder, and shook him a little. He seems trapped in his own world. For the first time she seemed to see someone so trapped in his own world. When will he regain his senses?

Annoyed, she hit his skull with her fist, which led to a groan of pain from Mika's mouth. "What does this mean?!"

“If you are tired, please go to your room and sleep there.

Both rolled their eyes in annoyance.

"You have nothing to say to me, human."

"Oh really? What are you going to do about it, vampire?" It wasn't a mistake by y / n, but rather Mika's mistake. If he hadn't called her a human, she wouldn't have called him a vampire. Nobody except Mika knows right now how much he hates vampires and yet he is one himself, but you have to remember that he never wanted to be one. Not everyone is lucky in life.

As I said, even if it was his own fault that she reminded him, he completely lost his nerve. Slowly she approached y / n, she already felt the dark aura coming towards her. However, y / n did not want to show the fear that is in her and slowly rising above her head. She will regret it. "Repeat when you have the pity." "What is the problem? You called me human and I called you a vampire, but you know what makes me be silly, get out of here, vampire. ”Without further ulterior motives, Mika grabbed her wrist and squeezed the bones with her hand listened from print to print. When she wanted to reach for her gun, which is under her top, Mika was a second faster and threw it directly to the end of the room. When Mika immediately released his hand from Y / n's wrist, she saw an emotion in his eyes, sadness.

He was hurt, but shouldn't he care? What should a little person who plays with little guns do against a vampire, ask him about a game? However, he saw her more as a person, he saw her as someone he can love, with whom he can laugh, of course he had had these people before in his life, but they have long since disappeared. Oh how much he loves her.

If only she knew how many letters he wrote her, but never gave them to her, but hid them in his room.

"I'm really stupid." Mika muttered trembling to herself. Y / n heard it and slowly walked up to him "Mika, that was very childish of me and, to be honest, I'm sorry." When she tried to touch his shoulder, he knocked her away and looked into her eyes, it was their fault.

“I don't want your decisions! I never wanted to be a vampire! If you don't know anything about me, please be quiet and think twice before you open your door! ”The whole room went quiet, pretty quiet. It was rather uncomfortably quiet for y / n, but she preferred to keep her mouth shut because it looked like Mika was looking for the right words. "Why do I love you? Tell me Y / N, how can I love you when you hate me so much?" His voice was fragile and it was tormented to hear it that way. "Mika, I had never hated you before." Exhausted, Mika sat down on the floor and looked at the gun at the other end of the room. "Every time I see a gun like that, I hate myself even more." “Even if it sounds a bit clichéd, for example because of the current situation, I have to and want to admit that I love you Mika. You are in such pain and apparently you have torn old wounds. You didn't deserve that, nobody deserved that. ”Y / n sat like Mika on the floor and hugged him. Her warm body against his cold one. As if in slow motion, their faces stood a few inches apart until their lips met.

𝐒����𝐈𝐏

With my hands on the back of his neck and my tongue seeking his, his fingertips dance from my thigh under my top.

Only he managed to make me shiver everywhere in a few seconds with the help of his touch. Not through his ice-cold skin, no, only through him. In keeping with the mood, the cold raindrops hit my window pane. "Waiting." he whispered to me.

Not a second later it was pitch black in my room. The butterflies in my stomach just like Mika don't know when to stop, but I love it, never let it stop! His lips kissed every inch of my skin and whispered to me how divine my body was. His hands slide up my top until it finally brushes over my head. The first item of clothing is already on the floor. My legs were around his waist so he could pick me up and lay me on my bed. When he did that, his lips were still on my skin.

As I lay down comfortably, I watched his clothes land piece by piece on the floor. His belly is built like that of a Greek god and although it is dark the moon shines on him. One could have immediately thought it was a godsend. The boxer shorts were the only items of clothing that remained. While I was about to take off my pants, Mika took my hands and indicated that he could do it himself. When my pants peeled off my skin, he looked at my legs in admiration and immediately threw my pants on the floor. Now stand half-naked in front of my bed. The red cheeks on his cheeks were clearly visible. "Are we really supposed to pull this off?" I asked Mika and looked him in the eye. His lips approached my ear and he breathed softly, "Y / n, the question is not, we should, but we can. A human and a vampire, is that a good chemistry?"

"Why don't we want to find out?" I whispered and kissed his shoulder in time. Now he looked at me again, but with clearly red cheeks you could have thought he had a fever, but I can't blame him, because even when his ice-cold body is on top of mine, my body manages to have a hot temperature.

As our tongues played with each other again, our hands explored each other's bodies. While one hand pinches my buttocks, the other is right on my bra clasp.

Moaning slightly, I also pinched his buttocks and felt my muscles tense. A low gasp left his delicate lips, which made me even weaker. My temperature rises more and more with each of his touches.

I can not stand it anymore!

He knows very well that he has the upper hand!

When my bra, like the rest of the clothes, landed on the floor, his ice-cold hands brushed my arms up to my hips and brushed the last piece of clothing across the floor.

I was breathing hard down in my zone.

His hands were on each thigh so I couldn't pinch my legs together. Apart from the horniness, I could hardly move my legs because of his strength, you can not say that he is so strong. The horniness in me is going like crazy! With every breath Mika takes against my area, the butterflies in my stomach fly crazier.

When his tongue brushed my cervix for less than a second, I let out a gasp. Immediately afterwards he pressed his tongue against it and danced with it at the same time. That I'm getting wetter is not only clear to me, but also to Mika, when he was his tongue in my entrance, she explored every single inch inside.

Overwhelmed by shame and lust, I pressed one hand against my mouth so as not to make a noise from you, and the other on his white-blonde hair.

Every time his tongue penetrated deeper and he spread my thighs wider and wider, it honestly hurt, but I don't care about that at the moment because as good as he makes me feel no one is going to do it and I want it too nobody does it because I just want them. Because I just want Mika.

When I thought it couldn't get better, I was wrong. When he started sucking, I was done. My lustful moans got louder every time I sucked, but I do my best that nobody but Mika can hear it. When he freed his tongue from the entrance again, he stuck his middle and ring finger in the next second and didn't give me a second to get used to it. The speed of his fingers is unique!

No matter how much I press my hand against my mouth, my moans stay louder.

Several times his name groaned, which only drove him to increase the speed. My orgasm is nourishing. When I groaned and said I was about to be there, he didn't stop but continued. His tongue dances on my cervix and his fingers successfully hit the G-spot every time, it's just breathtaking!

When my orgasm came, I screamed his name with relish and breathed heavily as I stared at the ceiling.

His beautiful face approached mine, but he devoted his lips to my ears and whispered, "A second round won't hurt you." Aren't my trembling legs enough for him? In the middle of the kiss, I slowly felt his member inside me, but my nails clawed behind his back in pain, we continued the kiss. Now it was Mika who groaned in the middle of the kiss. He closed his eyes and kissed my chest as his hips began to dance. Is it still normal for him to make me feel this way? Because on the one hand I can no longer, on the other hand I want more! Mika's one hand is on my thigh while the other is on my chest. The way he plays sensitive nipples is superb.

I don't know how he makes me feel so good, but I want him to never stop. "Mika, don't stop." I moaned in his ear and wrapped my legs around his waist. When he saw me, I didn't know how to feel. Because his eyes are blood red! He slowly approached my neck. That cold breath worried me even more. He didn't bite me, however, but instead scratched his designated spot with his fangs as the blood flowed from the wound, so it propelled him and made him much faster than before. The clap of our skin was just as loud as the satisfying moans from our mouths. "Y / n." he groaned my name and immediately turned me around. Now my back was visible to him. With both hands on our hips, our bodies clapped together. When I moaned his name one last time, the orgasm came, Mika pulled his member out of me and rubbed it with his hand until finally the white sperm speared out of his body.

𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐏

After Mika helped me cleanse my body, we are back in bed naked. "Do you think we can do it?" Mika asked out of nowhere. “I don't think so, I know, Mika. And I think you should too. "The vampire looked at me lovingly and finally kissed me on the lips and immediately afterwards whispered" Good night, y / n. " "Good night, Mika."

[brodependent]

Sam loves Dean as much as Dean loves Sam: a meta

Much as I love reading good meta, I don’t often write meta. Thus please accept my apologies if this is mediocre, and let me start with a simple topic sentence:

Sam loves Dean as much as Dean loves Sam.

A little longer, now: Sam is even better at loving Dean than Dean is at loving Sam because of Dean’s profound and abiding love for Sam.

Confusing, right? But not really.

We all know how Dean lives and breathes SammySammySammywatchoutforSammy. It’s his defining mission, his ultimate purpose, or, as a therapist might say, his “core belief.” But sometimes I think that we allow adult!Dean too little autonomy. We assume that he can’t help himself: he’s locked into this single-minded focus, on loving and protecting the only family he has left.

That sells Dean short. (Hang in there, I promise I’ll get to Sam in a moment.)

Even people who have been forced into a certain way of life have choices. Even people who have been told who they are all their life have choices. Dean tells us, in Season 14, I’m good with who I am--and I, for one, believe him. Whether we follow canon all the way to 15x17, when Dean is finally brought back from the edge of his desire for revenge against Chuck by his love for Sam (the only thing that’s “real”), or whether we keep to season 1 when Dean said--that’s all we have...that’s all I have... and I want us to be a family again and as long as I’m around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you--Dean has always accepted his role as Sam’s big brother. Dean’s life is unabashedly Sam-centric. He’d change a lot of things, but in the end he’d change nothing, because he wouldn’t change that. 

Some fans get very het up about the codependent aspect of this. Others (in my opinion, rightly) defend it. There’s scads of meta on why the Winchester dynamic IS necessary for their mythic role in the narrative, and their human role in the narrative (more importantly), so I won’t write that meta now. All I’m saying is what I think you already know: Dean lives for Sam, his baby brother, and despite the grief, the growing pains, the occasional cruelty of desperate love, Dean said it all when he told Sam (and us), Don’t you ever think that there is anything, past or present that I would put in front of you.

So where does that leave Sam, and his love for Dean? Let’s start with that line I just quoted. Building on the above, Dean’s goal in life is to give Sam a life. He wants Sam to be happy. He wants him to be free. He also wants to keep him by his side forever, to control him for safety and comfort’s sake, and sometimes those instincts of a frightened-child-turned-traumatized-man win out. Dean isn’t perfect. Dean’s full of contradictions. But time and again he goes back to stone number one: what he can do for Sam. What he can offer Sam, by being the grunt, by standing in harm’s way. 

When we begin the story, Sam has succeeded in the path Dean helped carve for him. I’m not taking all the credit from Sam here, and giving it Dean: merely pointing out that Dean stepped into traditional parental roles and helped send Sam into adulthood, even though that meant Sam leaving him. We know that the night Sam left for Stanford was one of the worst of Dean’s life, but even in mid-season 1, Dean tells Sam he’s proud of him. You always know what you want. You stand up to Dad. Hell, sometimes I wish I--

(this, of course, is beautifully echoed in the series finale itself)

Dean is telling Sam what so many parents tell their children: you have gone places I never could, accomplished goals I never could, grown in grace and understanding like I never could. At least, I like to think that’s what the best parents tell their children.

To Dean, Sam is always the one with more hope. More wholeness. More options. To Sam, Dean is stone number one. 

You asked how Sam loves Dean, and my answer is: just look. Look at how Sam goes out into the world young, stands up to their father, makes his own decisions, fights back against Dean’s own nihilistic narrative through their primary losses and setbacks. Dean gave Sam the safety to build a better worldview than Dean himself has, and Sam turns that right back around and tries to give it to Dean. 

What do you think my job is? You’re my big brother--there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. 

I can’t lose you.

You’re not a grunt, Dean, you’re a genius.

This is my life. I love it. But I can’t do it without my brother. I don’t want to do it without my brother.

I am going to save my brother. And then I’m going to kill you dead.

If you ever need to talk about anything with anybody, you got somebody right here next to you.

I believe in us.

This is just a small collection of Sam quotes showing his love for Dean. A small collection showing the persistent theme of Sam’s persistence. He knows that pushing chick-flick moments and emotional conversations can get jokes for a dime a dozen, and even the occasional punch thrown his way. He keeps at it anyway. When Sam knows Dean’s hurting, he wants to help. He’d do anything to help. He won’t sit around and see his brother turn into an embittered killer (season 2), go to hell for saving his life (season 3), take on the Trials (season 8), be irrevocably corrupted by the Mark of Cain (seasons 9-10), let him despair (seasons 11 and 13), let him sacrifice himself to an archangel’s grave (season 14), or let him lose his goodness to the whims of a vicious god (season 15). Sam fights for Dean with full use of his considerable gifts--intelligence, rationality, resourcefulness, and yes, the occasional blind rage. Sam looks to Dean, first as a leader, then as a judge, and finally as an equal. Sam has been looking up to Dean since he was four, yes, but over the course of the show he comes to look at Dean. With love, peace, understanding, humor, pain...whatever their inimitable connection requires.

The quotes I noted above also reveal Sam’s own conflicts rear up. Sam and Dean (again, in my opinion) are equally developed characters. Both have flaws and inconsistencies. Both have struggles inherent to their personalities and upbringings, distinct from those imposed on them by supernatural forces. 

Sam had a glimpse of a different life, once. He had the smarts, he had the drive, he had the sheer stubbornness to live a different life than John or Azazel or hell, even Lucifer had planned for him. But also in Sam--innate in Sam--is his core of goodness and compassion and the principle of doing right, which leads him back into the life and to soul-crushing sacrifice again and again.

Sam breaks and is broken. Sam suffers and ages and spends more time in hell than even Dean, who went to protect him.

But what keeps Sam going? Dean. Dean can’t live without Sam. We know that. The flip side is that Sam doesn’t want to live without Dean. Importantly, I think, he has more choice in the matter. Dean focused his whole childhood identity on giving Sam a life that meant he had choices, even if Dean didn’t know he was doing that. Sam can move through more crowds, more roles, more relationships. He has a better education, he has a more powerful ability to intellectually reason and detach. He would have made a great lawyer. Yet he casts all this aside out of sheer willpower, choosing instead to love Dean and live with Dean through the chaos of their lives, and to go near mad when Dean is gone. Consider Sam in season 4, Sam in season 10...Sam in season 8 trying to atone for the very choice that Dean (the best part of Dean) wanted him to make, even if the real muddle of Dean’s psyche couldn’t forgive him, for a time, for making it.

All of this leads us to the finale. 

You said you wish Sam had said I love you back to Dean in the finale. I argue that he did. He made his love perfectly clear to Dean in that moment by holding his hand, by looking in his eyes. He said, you can go now, when all he wanted was for Dean to stay. 

The best part of Dean wanted Sam to have happiness and freedom. At the end of his life, Dean was finally able to communicate that without fear or reservation. 

But the bittersweet brilliance of that moment is that Sam--the Stanford boy who went to hell and back, who saved the world, brought down one god and raised another--no longer wanted any kind of happiness or freedom that didn’t include the one person who’d been by his side all along. Dean was giving his blessing for a path that didn’t beckon Sam anymore. And yet: Sam said yes to it out of the love for Dean. Sam went out of that barn, out of the bunker, out of that day and that year and that decade and into the next and the next, out of love for Dean. Sam loved Dean by living. He loved Dean by raising another Winchester. He loved Dean by holding all their contradictions, flaws, and heroisms in his heart (in their car), until he’d done what he set out to do many times over. 

Then he met Dean on a mended bridge, dressed in old clothes that said: I was happiest at the beginning. I was happiest when we could be brothers again. I took my time getting here anyway, because I know that was what you wanted. I took my time so that we could be happiest now.

If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.

[chemicalpink]

☾✧゜BTS Numerology Chart | Heart's Desire: a peek into their relationships and career ☾✧

Disclaimer: Look, we know the disclaimer by now, although numerology is heavily reliant on maths, it's still not a definite way to define someone as they have a lot of other phases to them as human beings. I am diving a little into uncharted territory as I usually don't speak about their sexual relationships but know that the observations here are applicable to every other person with the same number so it's impersonal. With that being said, for entertainment purposes only. Note that this reading is based on their romanized names.

What is the Heart's Desire Number? based on the softer parts of the self, it shows the inner and deepest cravings that the soul needs to grow and evolve.

Kim Seokjin ☾✧゜

Heart's Desire Number: 11

So it's a Master number, we are already starting off strong.

Seokjin is bound to have incredible manifesting power.

He's magnetic and wise while holding a very broad outlook in life.

Very curious and intuitive

Masterful leader in situations

He's got a fear of being limited in any aspect of life

Can sometimes doubt his power and vision.

He's prone to have his own business so that he isn't told what to do.

Takes things at his own pace and likes to have fun.

Natural charmer but are we even surprised?

Innately intelligent

He's VERY selective when it comes to partners.

Only interested in someone who has a common outlook in life as well as being equally committed to personal growth.

Listen- this man knows exactly what he wants and that is copious amounts of truth and integrity in any relationship.

He's living on the fast lane of life

Fitness is important on his day to day.

Has a very VERY busy schedule that doesn't help him stay committed.

Good sense of humour

Has zero trouble attracting people.

While he's apparently not lacking in the whole having a lot of different partners department, he's not easily impressed.

Number also determines an ultimate destination of greatness

Will definitely leave a mark on humanity.

Min Yoongi ☾✧゜

Heart's Desire Number: 3

Has a smile that lights up the world

Highly magnetic, everyone seems drawn to him.

His greatest asset is his imagination

Has a strong calling to express himself through music

Has a contaging wit and charm that others find inspiring

He enjoys the spotlight but not in an attention seeking way

His soul urge is to light up those around him.

He does tend to doubt himself and be very wary of other people.

When it comes to relationships, he's a hopeless romantic

He'll pull all the stops for someone he loves.

Definitely not afraid to put himself out there and express his feelings, which leads him to feel rejected if said feeling aren't recirpocrated immediately.

Has a history of countless heartbreaks yet he rebounds quickly.

Never finds himself single for long.

He's most probably had quite some partners of different types

Not interested in people that fall at his feet

He's bound to have his own business

AND leave his mark on humanity.

Jung Hoseok ☾✧゜

Heart's Desire Number: 2

He's a man with deep empathy, intuition and finesse

He seeks to understand those around him more than be understood.

He's incredibly diplomatic.

He tends to disagree with alphatype personalities.

His soul urge is to cooperate rather than be told what to do.

LOVES turning uncomfortable situations into peaceful ones.

He's rarely in conflict with others.

This man knows right away when something is off

He's too empathic and caring that he often gives too much of himself to others.

He's more into commitment than he is to a single life.

Thrives in partnerships

No sacrifice is too great when it comes to someone he loves.

However his vulnerability is bound to cause him heartache.

He loves more openly and deeply than others.

A natural charmer

Bound to own his own business.

Living in the fast lane at this point in life

Likely to be extremely successful

He's probably learning a second language

Has had his fair share of different type of partners, but not in a playbloy type of way.

Kim Namjoon ☾✧゜

Heart's Desire Number: 22

We've got another master number.

He's got everything to be wildly successful

Intuitive, powerful, and practical

Has a strong calling to be a masterful builder and to create a legacy that will support generations to come.

Bound to work on something that involves a large number of people.

Has very high ideals but is very down to Earth

Tends to overestimate abilities and takes on tasks that he is not yet prepared to tackle just to please others.

In relationships, he is very practical

He values growth and companionship more than he does love itself.

He's perceptive and romantic nonetheless

Bound to be extremely successful

Has had plenty of different types of lovers

Not impressed at all by shallow people.

Park Jimin ☾���゜

Heart's Desire Number: 1

He has incredible talent and creativity

Isn't afraid of taking risks

He's always honest and true to himself

Completely dislikes being micro-managed at work and in his personal life

Refuses to play second fiddle or give into the demands of others unless it is to avoid serious conflicts.

His soul urge is to be in the lead, not carried along behind it.

In relationships, he's the one in charge.

He tends to be the one that calls the shots

Since he's used to being in charge, he needs to make an effort so as not to come across as too uncompromising.

He has a deep need for independence so he's very careful with who he gives his attention to.

When his heart is open he is very loyal

He's bound to be extremely successful

Is living on the fast lane of life

Will own his own business

He's had a lot of different types of partners so far yet he's selective due to how he carries himself.

Kim Taehyung ☾✧゜

Heart's Desire Number: 9

He's an old soul

Has deep intuitive wisdom

People are naturally drawn to him

He's very appreciative and caring

He goes for altruistic matters rather than logic

He always wants everyone to benefit from situations.

He's willing to give regardless of the cost for him.

Has a strong moral sense and natural compassion.

He tends to be impressionable which might make others take advantage of him.

He's a very romantic person.

Incredibly compassionate and understanding

He can become quite impersonal or neglect his feelings when preoccupied with helping others.

Even though, he's more loving and present than most.

He's great with people.

He's bound to own his own business.

Bound to be extremely successful

Has had a fair share of partners of all types yet he's not attracted at all to shallow people

Jeon Jungkook ☾✧゜

Heart's Desire Number: 8

He's one to move on quickly

Has a long list of achievements

And an ability to achieve great goals

He's a natural leader and a great source of security for others.

Has a strong call to be in a position of power.

Gets easily frustrated with people who slack off or think small.

The embodiment of go big or go home.

In relationships, he has very VERY high standards

Due to him being as ambitious as he is, he tends to lack emotional flexibility and neglects romantic gestures

Fun and adventure are his things

Is able to excel in a lot of stuff

He's likely to own his own business

A natural charmer.

He's innately intelligent.

Bound to be extremely successful.

Fitness is a big thing in his life.

Has had quite some partners of different types yet not in a bad way.

Not interested in shallow people/ people that don't fulfill his standards in some way.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I'd say for the most part it seems consistent with things that come out of readings, some of their pointers are REALLY straightforward on them being meant to be on the path they are (we'll explore the life path number sometime later on) but it does seem to point to them being big and successful both on their own and as a group since their numbers seem to cooperate amazingly. It does look to me like they're meant to either take over HYBE or have their own company. The 'plenty of partners' wasn't much of a surprise, they're men in their mid-late twenties, handsome, on top of the world, it is just funny to see most of them having 'high standards' yet having a lot of partners, seems to me like those standards are more applicable or more strictly applicable to a deeper/ more committed relationship.

Sources: Marsilio Ficino and Hans Decoz texts

[angelic-jeonghan1004]

Dancing with ENHYPEN at a ball

Okay so I've been to many balls and masquerades in my day actually I used to go to 3 specific ones every year for the past 7 or so years so Enhypen doing something with a similar vibe in concept photos had me very excited. I can usually read someone on how they are as a dance partner by their initial bow and as we saw from the Instagram stories all of them did a bow and all had their own characterisc charm so here I am to put that into words for you :) also my first ever enha writing! Sorry if some are longer than others

Genre: fluff, first meet, non relationship (still some romantic charm for a few)

Warnings: none

Pairing: Enhypen x gn reader

Gif credits to me this time actually

Heeseung

He'd be my favorite to dance with by far (along with Jake and Sunghoon theyre just my favorite type of people at masquerades/balls)

He'd be one to take you around the entire ballroom and spin you like crazy

No specific crazy moves

Just swaying with you around the room with many twirls

It'd be so comfortable no pressure at all

Just no care in the world

He'd guide you through the whole room and very playful with a big grin on his face

Conversation is very fun just full of giggles with how little effort in dancing to replace with twirling

The spinning around the room is such pure fun and filled with so much laughter and he's just happy to make you happy

Would want everything to feel like a cheery fairytale

So to see you in pure glee he's just so energetic and happy as well

Plus he's also having the time of his life

Would find your way to the center of the ballroom or a more so isolated area to which he'd ask if he could dip you

The dip would be so cheesy and romantic even if you where complete strangers

One to kiss your hand when parting

"thank you for a joy-filled dance"

Jay

The flirtatious gentleman

He'd have confidence in his walk when going up to you

Would hold his hand out to you acting like a true gentleman straight out of a fairytale

"would you like to share this dance?"

Then when you accept he'd ask your comfortablity levels

When you take his hand he'd guide you closer to him so he could put his hand on your waist

He'd be one for small talk while dancing with like an underlining level of flirting (if you're okay with that)

if not he'd just be chilling talking to you on how your evening has been

Would be one to dip you when dancing

Spin you multiple times in a row and that whole time have that specifc grin (you know the one the :D happy Jay one)

Would definitely also be the gentleman when you finish dancing he'd say

"thank you for sharing this dance with me" then bow.

Kiss your hand if you're okay with that

We love the flirtatious gentleman agenda that's for sure

Jake

I swoon at the idea omg

One of my favorite kind of dancers that hold some sort of magic in them

The one to be where it doesn't matter if you've never ballroom danced before

Since when you dance with him it's like you've been doing this all your life like it's muscle memory

(dancers like this own my heart please give me your sorcery I'm talking about you Mr tango man who I had never danced tango once in my life but once on the dance floor with him was like I was a pro for years)

very respectful and super sweet

Trys to keep a steady and good conversation with you

Learns a lot about you and you learn a lot about him in the 3-5 minute dance

After the dance is done would give you one last spin then bow with a giggle

would smile at you when making eye contact throughout the rest of the evening when crossing paths

Sunghoon

My mans got many moves but he goes for the classics

would do simple ballroom 1234 steps

A great partner for a beginner or first time ballroom

Teach you the basic steps and gives that toothy grin

Cautious of stepping on feet but would be very sweet and understanding if you stepped on his feet accidentally

Due to the simple movements it's easy to talk with him and not get to anxious messing up the footwork once you get a hang of it

Will spin you and show you the different ways people are spined so you can learn how to do them correctly so you don't get tangled when spinning with other people

Or let you spin him to flex his excellent spinning skills

Very charming

Doesn't do the most intense of moves since he wants the experience to be enjoyful and relaxing with less pressure

If you have a lot of experience in dancing already he may amp up the level but not too bad

Sunoo

Sunoo seems like a lot of fun

he'd be a mixture of Riki and Sunghoon

Simple steps and would have a firm hand on your waist

He'd be immediately talking with you and joking with you

"so what brings you here?" wiggling his eyebrows pls y'all would be so loud from laughter

Would love spinning you!! And you could spin him too he finds it so much fun

If he saw someone dancing with someone super well and ethereal

Oh boy that's a battle

He'd take that as a challenge

So then both of you had the goal to out do them

You'd move to the center of the room doing basic outgoing moves(example both spinning out at once, trying to lift the other gracefully ect) so that gets people's eyes on you

There'd be a lot of laughter definitely at how ridiculous it was to be trying to out do those other people

would definitely once finishing dancing if later in the night you both have no partners would come up to you once again and be a continuous partner throughout the dance

Jungwon

Someone help this boy please

Gives me the tense awkward vibe?

Being so scared to overstep boundaries he'd be so stiff

Boys hands would be clamy but strictly at your waist

Like he'd be super sweet don't get me wrong!!

But be so respectful he'd end up being tense

Makes sure not to over step boundaries

You'd have a good conversation and he’d slowly get less tense as the dance continues

Would apologize for his hands getting a bit sweaty

If you danced together again later in the night or saw you at another ball your next dance he’d be way less tense

Definitely a gentleman though

When the dance ends he’d bow squeezing your hand lightly before biding farewell

“Thank you for dancing with me”

Riki

Riki would be a little tense (I know surprising from the amazing dancer he is)

In the beginning a little awkward

But gradually as the song escalates would be more calm and loosen up

His hand would have a little bit of a firm grip on your waist (the only thing making him tense is from idea of over stepping boundaries)

He'd be a little bad at small talk in the beginning

But once he loosens up he'd let loose of the tension the conversations got better

Went from

“How are you this evening?” very awkward to

“You see those two over there? Have you noticed how they both keep stepping on each others feet then glaring at each other?”

Trying both your best to not laugh at the situation in from of you to be kind

But when your conversation is finally going well and pure fun

Just having an amazing time of fun joking around and getting to know each other

The song ends

Now you have two options

You share another dance

or say a bittersweet goodbye

[mindfullofyoga]

Hanuman Chalisa workshop

From Flow of Grace, by KD:

I went to India in the fall of 1970 to meet Neem Karoli Baba (Maharaj-ji), after having heard about him from Ram Dass.

By the spring of 1971, I , along with some other westerners, had gone up to the Kumaon Hills, the magical foothills of the Himalayas, where Maharajji was staying at his Hanuman temple in Kainchi. We were staying at the Evelyn Hotel in the nearby hill station of Nainital. Every day we would make the one hour trip by bus along the narrow winding roads through the mountains to see him and spend the day at the temple. Each time we arrived, we were fed a huge, delicious meal of puris and potatoes and given a little booklet with a picture of Hanuman on it. One day, I happened to ask someone at the temple about them and was told that they contained a prayer to Hanuman called the Hanuman Chalisa. The Hanuman Chalisa is a hymn of forty verses that describes and praises the life, character, and exploits of Hanuman. At that moment, I had the idea to try to learn it so we could sing it to Maharajji.

Rameshwar Das, another American, and I began to learn the Hindi alphabet. We transcribed the whole prayer and were taught a melody by an Indian friend. It took the whole rainy season and summer to begin to feel comfortable singing the Chalisa. By the time we returned to Nainital and Kainchi, most of the other westerners had copied it into their books and had begun to learn it as well. We hadn't even memorized six verses when one afternoon we were called to the front of the temple where Maharajji was sitting. He was very excited and said , " Sing the Chalisa!"

We were completely unprepared but managed to sing the few verses we knew. He laughed and was very happy.

We quickly became an official part of the 'show.'

When Indian devotees came to see him, Maharajji would often call us and have us sing the Chalisa. No matter how many times we did it, he would always look totally surprised-with a look of joy and amazement on His face, as if it were the first time he had ever heard it.

He would laughingly tease his Indian devotees for their lack of devotion and sincerity, saying , " look at these people. Out of their love for God, they have left everything behind in America, while you wicked, greedy people come to see me out of your own selfish desires!"

Of course, it was all part of his unique way of teaching everyone their own special lesson.

We began to chant the Hanuman Chalisa as a way of bringing ourselves into Maharajji's physical presence.

It was a way of expressing our love and devotion to him.

For us, Hanuman and Maharajji were the same.

Chanting the Chalisa to Maharajji helped us enter into the love that his presence embodied.

It became a way of deepening our relationship with him, and ultimately with ourselves.

It has been thirty-three years since Maharajji has left his body, and chanting the Chalisa has become an even more powerful way for me to enter into the flow of Love and Grace.

In the Chalisa, we bow to the great beauty, strength, and devotion that Hanuman embodies ; we also begin to bow to that place in ourselves.

The Chalisa inspires us to try  to become like him, to make the mirror of our heart as clean as Hanuman's so that we can become aware of the great beauty and love that lives within us, our own true nature., the One

without a second.

This is the Great being known by many names throughout the many spiritual and religious traditions in the world.

Each culture and each religion has its own coloured glasses through which it sees the universe. The reports from the frontlines differ only in form, not in substance. They are all looking at the same thing.

Maharajji would continually remind us that it is all One. Over and over he said ,"Hanuman, Christ, and Krishna are the same," and "all paths lead to the same goal."

Again and again, he turned us to the oneness of life, reminding us that 'the same blood runs through everyone's veins."

It was through reading and chanting the Hanuman Chalisa that I began to understand the subtlety and power of the path of devotion and the sublime way that love can transform the hardest heart into the heart of a saint.

It is love that brings meaning to our lives. The path of love goes right through the middle of every heart. No one is locked out. No one is turned away. No one is unworthy.

The love that lives within each and every being is Bhagavan; it is Ram, Buddha nature, the Atman, the Great Goddess, the Self, the One. It is who we are- our own True Nature, radiant and shining like a million suns.We long to be with the Beloved , to feel that presence of love in our hearts, but in the eyes of God, we have never been separate-not even for a second.

The Hanuman Chalisa is chanted specifically to clean the mirror of our hearts so we can become into direct contact with the grace of Hanuman. His Grace awakens us to the awareness of Ram's presence within.This is when our hearts truly come alive.

[storiesundercandlelight]

I Know You - Rafe Adler x Reader - Part One

So this idea kind of came to me randomly, it doesn't follow the story of Uncharted 4/the lives of the characters/specifics but the general story of treasure etc is the same! I changed a lot to make it easier to write a shorter story so...please don't hate me for changing it/pushing parts of the game closer together!

Reader descriptions: I don't describe anything about the reader look wise obviously but I have written this in a female readers POV!

Warnings: None for this chapter!

You walked behind Nate and Sam, following their footsteps as you all moved through the jungle path. The heavily tree covered path helped against the brightness of the sun but did little to keep you from the humid heat. You found yourself regularly swatting away bugs and wiping your brow as you moved forward.

Nate was convinced you were close to your destination, that Libertalia, the famous pirate utopia was just around the next bend. It bloody better be, you thought as you swatted away another bug.

"Nate! Please tell me we're almost there!" Sam cried, chopping away at branches blocking their path.

"Yes, we're almost there I'm sure of it!! Hopefully we'll make it there before Rafe" You tripped a little at the mention of Rafe, you'd been trying hard not to think about encountering them again. God why did Rafe have to do this? Why did he have to break away from you all and go against you? You just kept letting the memories between you flash up as you walked.

_____________________________________________________________

You walked quicker, hoping you weren't going to be late. The campus here was bigger than you thought and your archaeology class was the other side of the building to where you lived in your apartment.

The hallway was quiet as you counted the numbers of the classroom doors before finally landing at the door you needed, taking a breath before you entered. Thankfully your professor wasn't there yet, other students chatting.

"You were almost late" You turned to see Rafe, his cocky smile tugging into place as he looked at you.

"Almost being the key word there" You smiled and grabbed the seat beside him, thankful that no one had snatched it up first. You and Rafe had been friends since the first day of your classes, but you knew other girls wanted to get his attention. You hated admitting it at first but you loved that he only ever gave his attention to you.

"Mmmhmm, yeah you keep on using your almost excuse, what held you up anyway?"

"I woke up late" Rafe snorted a laugh at your reply, turning his full attention to you.

"Give in, it'll be easier on all of us. You know I'm relentless" You sighed and turned to him.

"I was reading"

"For the assingment?"

"Yes" You didn't meet Rafe's eyes, turning away quickly you stayed still as he moved closer to you.

"Liar" He whispered in your ear, you gave him your best side eye in response. "Come on what trashy novel do you have tucked under your bed? You know I'll find it either way. Oh! Let me guess, kind of Indiana Jones-y, but with an oh so steamy encounter between the main characters in some dusty ruin" You rolled your eyes but couldn't hold back you smile, damn him!

"Your wrong....this one is set in Egypt, their steamy encounter took place is a very plush tent near a tomb" Rafe's laugh was infectious, his head falling into his hands as he tried to stop himself from laughing.

"Okay okay whatever" He said between giggles. "Just let me know when you're ready to put those books down and get some real action hmm?" Your professor walked into the lecture hall, grabbing everyone's attention and thankfully pulling Rafe away from noticing you blush.

_____________________________________________________________

You hated thinking of those memories now, knowing you were both on opposite sides, fighting against each other.

"There it is" You came to a halt, almost crashing into Sam as all three of you stared at the scene before you. Libertalia.

The pirate town was in ruins, old building covered in foliage. But the pure sight of it took your breath away. To imagine this place, full of pirates, bustling life, songs and laughter, loot and gambling. Your heart felt full.

"Alright let's get to the treasury" It's higher up towards the mountain.

It took almost two hours of walking, climbing, searching until you finally saw the treasury. Pulling yourself up onto the roof of a crumbling but stable building you took a moment to look at your goal. Was this where the treasure has been all this time?

Nate and Sam were climbing up behind you, you turned ready to continue before stopping. You could hear people talking. All three of you crouched down quickly, your hands automatically going for your gun.

"These fucking guys" Sam whispered. "Well, here we go"

You jumped down from the roof onto a ledge, working your way around half broken walls, stacks of warped barrels, anything to avoid Nadine's and Rafe's men.

"We can get inside without them seeing" Nate whispered.

"They've set up camp!" Sam said back. "We won't be safe camping here too, and the sun's almost down" He was right, the sun was setting fast. You could see the camp they were setting up in the main courtyard of the treasury building, the men moving debris from battles fought many years ago so that they could put up tents.

Your eyes caught movement near the back, towards the entrance. A tent was being put up right near the doors. Rafe stood by as two men secured what you guessed was hit tent, slightly further away from everyone else's.

"Rafe's there" You whispered, your stomach was doing flips knowing that not only was he there, but once again you were face to face on different teams. This whole adventure had felt wrong, always running into them and fighting with the man you knew deep down you loved.

"Alright, we can climb in higher up, set up our own camp in that part of the building there, they won't bother looking there, it isn't the main entrance. Hopefully its just a run down set of rooms"

You'd all agreed, although Sam complained the whole way up to the floor Nate pointed out. He was right though, the space was perfect, hidden, dry, warm anyway from the weather and if you leant near to a broken wall you could see Rafe's camp.

It didn't take long for Sam and Nate to fall asleep, the two brothers sprawled on the ground, packs behind their heads as pillows. But you couldn't sleep, not when Rafe was this close, you charted a way down to his tent, planning which route you would take to avoid the men on watch. It was risky but you knew Rafe wouldn't be sharing a tent and his tent was far enough from the rest that you'd be able to talk to him, maybe convince him that he didn't need to fight against you. Maybe if you could get close he would... be the old Rafe.

Taking a deep breath you got up as silently as possible and made your way down. Thoughts of what you would say to Rafe raced through your mind. Would he want to see you? Would he just take you and use you as bait? No, you refused to believe that, he'd told you once how he felt, that can't have just vanished. The memory of that night was still so clear to you.

_____________________________________________________________

"Okay okay, so Chinese?" Rafe dropped down onto your couch, looking at you impatiently.

"Fine" You smiled, knowing that if you changed your mind again Rafe may just cry from hunger.

"Finally!" Rafe pulled out his phone to order as you looked over your notes. You had to admit, you worked well as a team. Your assignments already finished and onto the proofing stage. "The horror...it won't be here for 40 minutes"

You turned to Rafe who had flopped back dramatically against the back of the couch. "Poor baby, to think you have to wait 40 minutes for someone else to cook you food"

"Don't mock me, my hunger is very real" He leant back up, pushing himself nearer to you on the couch and leaning over to look at the notes himself. You should be used to Rafe being this close to you, he was always close. Most people assumed you were a couple because of how close you were and how much time you spent together. But you couldn't stop the blush and heat that ran through you whenever he moved close. You looked over his face, his brows tilted down as he focused on the words, his hair usually neatly slicked back had rogue hairs falling down over his forehead.

God he was attractive. Your eyes went lower, to his arms, his muscles poking out from his t-shirt that really left nothing to the imagination.

"Admiring my fashion choices?" You jumped and your eyes snapped back up to Rafe who was looking at you, a smirk plastered on his face.

"No! I was...I..."

"You...?" He was so close, if you moved your head forward just a little your noses would brush against each other. You could smell his cologne, a musky woody scent that you loved. He didn't move away, his eyes flicking from yours to you lips.

He moved too quickly for you to think, suddenly his lips were on yours, pushing gently. You didn't need to think twice before reacting a melting into the kiss, your hands coming up to touch his neck, pulling him closer. His arms moved around you, a hand resting on your side as he moved into you, pushing you against the arm of the couch. There was no where for you to move and you were so okay with that.

The kiss grew hotter, more needy, hands were everywhere, pulling and pushing. Your fingers ran through his hair, messing it up even more. A faint moan escaped his lips when you tugged it slightly. You both pulled apart, but still close, Rafe rested his forehead against yours as you both caught your breath a little.

Rafe smiled and huffed out a laugh. "I've wanted to do that for so long"

"You have?"

"I thought I'd made my feelings pretty obvious" He quickly kissed you again. "You have completely ruined me, I don't think I'll ever be able to love anyone else"

_____________________________________________________________

You were still caught up in old memories by the time your feet lightly touched the ground behind Rafe's tent. You stayed in the shadows listening, wanting to make sure he was alone. A few moments passed before you decided it was safe and made your way to the flaps, they were tied closed but you made quick and silent work of undoing just enough of them to squeeze in.

The tent was dark, you had to wait for your eyes to adjust fully before moving and looking around. The tent was simple, Rafe's belongings piled in one corner, an empty cot in the other. Empty.

You stood still, heart racing as you realized the cot was empty. You tried to move but suddenly a hand wrapped around your mouth, your legs knock from under you. Your back hit the ground with a thud and you felt a knife pressed against you. Rafe leaned over you.

[rouiyan]

𝘖𝘍𝘍 𝘐𝘊𝘌 [ 𝘭.𝘫𝘯 ]

⧏ jeno's installment of the keep your cool collective ⧐

synopsis: he likes to think it's romantic how he always finishes your sentences for you. you think it's annoying that he keeps interrupting you.

✧ ice hockey player!lee jeno x (fem.) tutor!reader ✧ college au

✧ genres : fluff, angst, slightly suggestive ✧ word count : 4.4k ✧ disclaimers : mentions of sexual activities, swearing

✧ author’s note — same universe as my puck in your goal which does not need to be read first but can be. also, hi @crownily i did it :)

let's just say jeno sucks at school and that the one thing he doesn't suck at is hockey, ice hockey. and let's just say that you're his tutor, strictly for tutoring purposes. yet, here you find yourself at his doorstep at 3:47 in the morning, or so your phone says.

he opens up to see you clad dressed down, different from the neat tee and skirt he's so used to. to be completely honest, jeno has never felt anything towards you and even he himself finds that hard to believe since you're everything he could ever ask for in a girl. pretty and cute, snappy but sweet, the most perfect curve of lips and above all, you're an intellectual. he finds it attractive but he isn't attracted to you, per se.

jeno wished he would though, especially now that he's suffering from what he called you here for in the first place: an extreme case of breakup.

one hand leaning your weight on the doorframe, the right of your shit rides up. jeno bites down on his lip, retracting his eyes to your face. "let me get this straight, you called me here, at this time of night, to get me to help you with what exactly?" so what if he thought fucking you would be a good way to keep his mind off things? too bad he didn't think any further than that. the words come to his as he speaks, "i just thought that- that...you- you would be awake at this time! because you know- you like to study…did i interrupt anything?"

donning a dreary expression, you nod in clarification, "yeah, you interrupted my studying."

"right, okay, i'll let you get back to that," he turns in haste as if to close the door behind him but you catch it with your heel, a scowl making its way across your face at what you were about to say, "forget it, jen, i'm already here. what do you need help with?" you stare into his back, his widening eyes unbeknownst to you. he turns again, now deliberate in motion, just to give him as much time to get his bearings together. lifting one shoulder in suggestion, and truthfully confusion, his voice is a pitch higher when he responds, "...studying?"

and that's how he finds himself staring into the crack between the wall and the far end of his desk, your figure hovering above him but not in the way he'd planned for, planned poorly for. jeno is on edge and frankly, he feels incredibly bad because he doesn't understand anything that comes from your mouth and the words you jot down on his paper before him all seem to collide and blur into each other. that's when he realizes he's started crying.

and that's when you're rendered speechless as the boy sits there, the little tracks running down his face wetting the paper you were teaching off of. "jeno, oh my god. fuck, you good?" you don't want to come off as prying so you avoid the whole 'why' notion but you're not that socially inept to miss that he didn't call you here at such an ungodly hour of morning just to get some unpaid tutor hours in and he certainly isn't crying because he doesn't understand shit. 

a hand of his is sifting through his hair while another rubs harshly down the side of his face. "i don't think you should- i'm just gonna go get you some tissues, i'll- i'll go get that." you turn on your heel and navigate your way from his room to the kitchen you'd passed on the way in. it's dark and you know he has roommates, you were less than willing to make your presence known. to your dismay, the kitchen was currently being occupied by a man whom you've yet to identify, being only two steps in when you stop in your tracks. 

he identifies you first, "y/n, what are you doing here?" and you pick up from the voice that it's donghyuck. your foot hits a cabinet before your eyes get a chance to adjust to the lighting, "fuck, yeah i'm here with jeno, well i'm not- not like that, we're just studying."

"just studying?" there's no way to see it but you swear the cock of his brows is apparent as it would be at day. you hum in response, fingers trying to make out the paper towel dispenser you were sure you caught a glimpse of on the way in. "so you're saying," he pulls out his phone and the light that emits from the screen is enough to guide you in the right direction before he shoves is back in his pocket. "that you booked a tutoring session with him at 4:19 a.m.?"

tearing one, then two, from the dispenser, you distractedly let a disbelieving, "yup," past your lips. hyuck scrutinizes you in the dark and his next words nearly shock you out of your skin, "is he fucking you because he just got dumped? is that why?"

you swivel at lightning speed, "he what?" hand over his mouth, donghyuck seems genuinely apologetic, though you wouldn't put it past him if he was not, "shit, you didn't know?" folding the paper towels two times over in your hands, you gingerly across the room to where the boy is seated, "i mean, i know that he didn't call me here just to study but that's legitimately what we ended up doing." he doesn't answer for awhile so you follow up with a question, "you think he wants to fuck me?"

hyuck looks you straight in the eye, "yeah, yeah i do." it hangs unsaid in the air between the two of you, but it's within both of your knowledge that jeno only wanted you here for sexual relief from his frustrations, that whatever else could be denoted by the deed was simply inapplicable for this situation. you shake your head of the thoughts, "so, what are you doing up this early?" you know that there is a weary and weeping jeno you have to get back to but you also know that your presence is somewhat unwelcome there, uncomfortable even, while he wades in his fit of tears.

hyuck replies with a heavy tone, "he gave me some things to think about too."

and you jump to conclusions all too quickly, "he wants to fuck you too?"

"god, y/n, no."

a weak laugh lining your demeanor after the last of the interaction, you reenter jeno's room to find him sprawled wide, his back to the bed. "hey," you preface as you round upon his bed, setting the paper towels on his nightstand. it seemed his tears had run their race and his eyes were now staring lethargically into the ceiling. perching yourself on the edge, you reach to place a hand atop one of his, giving two reassuring squeezes. "need anything?"

only now does jeno seem to take note of your arrival, his eyes hooded eyes flit to you for half a second before resolutely tugging you by the hand you had clasped within his. "what-" your breath is stolen from you as your back hits his chest. jeno drapes his arms across you front, "jeno, what-"

"i need a pillow, that's what i need."

you blink, trying to make sense of your thoughts, "did you ask me here to fuck you numb?" his body goes rigid underneath yours and you're right to assume that you've pinpointed the answer. "i'm right, huh?" eyeing downwards, his fingers are fiddling for you to see. after a few moments laid in bated breath, he lets weakly, "sorry about that, it's not gonna happen."

"yeah no shit," is said dulcetly despite the denotation. you feel his chuckles reverberate beneath you. "i'm really sorry, i swear i don't think of you that way." a smile upon your own face, you turn in his arms to place an expression to his voice. propping your head up on your folded arms, your arms atop his chest, you peer into his eyes sincerely. there is much that needs to be said, the reasonings behind his unexpected breakdown and the closeness you suddenly feel with still have to be addressed. but at this hour in the morning, you can't bring yourself to. 

instead you query, "should i stay the night?" he peers into your eyes with equal sincerity when he responds, "it's already early morning, you'd probably be off better sleeping here." giving a soft nod and a few moments to rearrange your thoughts, you perk up again just as he's about to fall asleep. he isn't annoyed in the slightest, rather he smiles at that, your voice, "do you have practice tomorrow?"

it's his turn to give a nod in response. "wanna come watch?" your arms move around his chest, encasing him like how he's encased you. hiding your smile in the front of his sweatshirt, your voice comes out muffled, "i'd love to but i'm a bit busy, jen. next time, maybe."

at your response, it's the first time that jeno feels, acknowledges, that his heart drops, even though it's in the slightest. there's an image of you in the stands, your textbooks in your lap and glasses sliding down the bridge of your nose. the image moves as he moves cross the rink and you look up when he passes by, eyes bright and a small smile and thumbs up in encouragement. from then on, it's that image that's plastered in his mind every time he thinks of you, that one self-conjured image. 

jeno feels his heart drop even more when he awakes to an empty bed. he finds that the text that you've sent in departure isn't nearly enough to repair his spirits, he wishes you were there instead.

practice sucks ass the next day and the day after that, he doesn't pay it any mind, knowing more than well enough how renjun whispers of the news of his breakup among the members. he doesn't hold it against him though, after all, his ex is his teammate's best friend. jeno thinks it hurts the most when his ex shows up at the next game, the one he'd invited you to when you'd crossed paths on campus a few days ago. he finds himself in a weird predicament between trying to forget about a girl and chasing after another one. he can't tell if he really likes you or if he just needs a rebound.

today, jeno decides it's the latter because he's fuming the entire game at how hyuck would send winks in her direction, how he would skate up to the edge of the rink to converse with her during their breaks. jeno hates how she's moved on all too easily and he feels and urge to prove that he can do the same. he wants to prove to himself.

he's let almost every goal in by the time the buzzer signals the end of the final round. the coach reprimands him because at this point, he might as well be from the opposing team. the helmet is off in a split second, he showers for the briefest of moments, only allowing the water to slosh across his body one time before he's patting himself dry. jeno slips the towel from his shoulder throws on a hoodie in its stead. he's out the locker room in bare minutes where he comes face to face with you. you, with the little sheepish, apologetic smile on your face. you, who'd just arrived from your shift at the local cat adoption center, late for the game but in just time for him. you, the only person he's been aching to see the whole day. but even now, he's unsure of exactly why. 

"y/n, hey," he's by your side in an instant, hesitant in his actions but words tumbling out nonetheless, "you came. late, but...you came."

you meet him in the middle, hands coming up to your aid and waving nonsensically as you speak, "i'm so sorry, my shift was extended and i forgot to tell my boss beforehan-"

"it's fine, i'm just glad you're here." he readjusts the bag onto his shoulders in a nervous fit. he barely manages to make eye contact with you and he wonders when he started to feel this way about you or, again, the desire for a rebound, his need for a taste of vengeance is willing him to act this way. jeno shrugs off the thought and fills the silence with an offer, "so do you wanna go...do something together?" 

jeno should know by now. the little sparkle that glints in your eyes and the way his stomach upturns itself in response. he should know by now how much you like him too. hyuck exits the locker rooms in that instant, he greets you in passing as he joins a girl up ahead. you turn back to jeno, momentarily distracted, only to find his gaze hardened and fixed on the girl. a sickening feeling erupts within you as you begin to piece one and one to make two. 

he turns back to you and you avoid his gaze. the shift in your countenance jolts him as much as his had jolted you. you lick your lips before looking back up at him, your own eyes guarded. he wishes he knew why. "jeno, i'm gonna have to rain check. i just- i thought of something- something came up. i have to go."

you're stalking away from him before he can even process it. he's lucky that his strides are long because he catches your wrist right before you get to the exit, "y/n," he tugs gently so that you turn to him but he's caught off guard even more when he sees the tears that have begun to form in your eyes. "why are you like this all of a sudden? what happened?"

you shake your head at him, hurriedly swallowing the sobs before you can embarrass yourself even further, "nothing, jeno. i just realized something." you stare down at his wrist expectantly but he only clutches it tighter, "then, what did you realize?"

he lets go of your wrist now and you feel like your heart couldn't get any heavier as you answer, "i realized that i'm just a fill-in until you get over her." jeno sucks in a breath as he watched the words leave your mouth, as he watches you turn and leave, and he hears more tears bubble from your frame, the sounds receding the farther you walk from him. for some reason, it's only when you tell him so that he understands that he feels the exact opposite.

it's only when you shove it in his face, your own face scrunched up in tears, that he's only going after you as a rebound, when he sees his feelings for what they really are. honest, jeno finds it hard to believe that he's never felt anything towards you since you're everything he could ever ask for in a girl. pretty and cute, snappy but sweet, the most perfect curve of lips and above all, you're an intellectual. he finds it attractive, he finds you attractive. fuck it, he likes you.

fortunately for him and unfortunately for you, your next tutoring session was scheduled for just a few days after, just enough time for him to get his act together and enough for you to cool your head enough sift through the thirty or so voice mails he'd left you. most of them seem to contain the same rueful, repentant tone, though a few seem to be displaying his slow spiral into self-deprecation. you're pretty sure the last is a mistake, a butt dial maybe.

jeno's not proficient with the knife, definitely not with how he's cutting the pears right now. he thinks he would've been better off bringing bananas but that would've seemed too insincere, wouldn't it? his thoughts are jumbling and sludging against one another when a finger of his slips and the fine edge of the knife is pressed on a knuckle. "fuck," he swears, his other hand already reaching over to the sink to run the cut under cold water. the sting is piercing and he looks away from the cut to the clock overhead. "double fuck," he mutters this time. the last thing he needs right now is you thinking that he stood you up. 

with steadfast athleticism, he finishes off the last of the pears with one hand. he's sure you'd laugh at the whole debacle if you were there though he's thankful you're not. jeno faces the fear that he sucks at everything except ice hockey, and he's barely getting by these days. he only ever feels confident on the rink with his stick in hand, crouched low so his eyes were level with the ice. he's never felt that much control over anything else, much less confessing to a girl and trying, somehow, to show that she was of much more worth than what he'd made it seem like. 

the library is a ten minute walk from his house, a three minute sprint. yes, he had sprinted. 

he knows for a fact that pears were the right way to go when you let the tiniest of smiles adorn your face at the sight of him setting the tupperware in front of you. you check your expression back into taut impassivity before he can indulge in his victory any longer. he knows you're not half as mad as you present yourself to be but that doesn't mean he'd take his mistakes lightly and go about this sleazily. jeno needs your trust. 

you resist the urge to reach over and flip over the hair that stood upright on the wrong side of his head. reverting your eyes onto the computer screen before you, "let's get started." not a half hour into your session, you're spaced out, eyes zoned onto the way jeno spins his pen between his fingers. maybe it's the lack of sleep that's getting to you.

"y/n? you good?"

you swallow thickly, removing your gaze from his hands, from him, from his paper, from anything that has to do with him. you notice how your chair has inched closer to his, or his to yours, you notice the finger-wide distance between you and him. shivers are sent down your spine. "let's take a break, is that fine?" jeno, from beside you, yawns and for a brief second you think he's about to pull the stretch and hand around shoulder trick. you blush unknowingly. 

jeno speaks before you can ask to resume the session, "can i say something?"

"is it work related?" you give your best efforts at keeping your voice level and head turned somewhat in his direction. in your peripheries, he cocks his head to the right, "...no, but we're on break." almost letting a huff escape your complexion, you relent, "fine then, shoot," figuring he would say it anyways.

"i want you to come to our next game."

you're lucky you had the whole scenario thought through, at least something can be harvested from your late nights spent tossing and turning, "i don't think i can-"

"y/n, i haven't even told you when."

"okay fine," you wrinkle your nose in distaste and hand out the truth for him to see, or hear, "i just don't want to." jeno is doing his best, he really is, but he knows that you've heard all that he has to say, if not once, then twenty-nine times over. the last one was a mistake. "did you get my voicemails?"

sighing, you chance a glance at him to see that he isn't the slightest bit annoyed, face drawn into a frown of sorts. you'll never admit that even just the sight could soften your set mindset. consideration replays in your irises when you answer the yes or no question with a decisive nod.

"then i'm sure you understand why i want you to come."

jeno lets you drive him home that day, he'd be the last to complain. the ride is silent from start to finish until right when he's about to close the passenger door, the car parked in front of his shared house. an, "i'll think about it," is what he's left to brew over for the next week or so as he stares that the text, read and unreplied, that he'd sent to remind you of the day and time of the game. he's anxious but it's only to that extent.

it's becoming more and more evident that jeno is loosing his touch on ice. he hates that the only thing he can attribute it to is his dwindling love life. he finds that the enforcer is atypically rough today but he's glad that his role at the goal requires the least interaction and footwork. he'd promised his coach that he would be more wary of his surroundings but he can't help the occasional glance at the rink entrance every once in awhile. what he doesn't understand is that his definition of 'once in awhile' marks at around every thirty seconds.

the last round is the most painful, undoubtedly, because it's as if his defeat is being dragged on and on, as if the giant timer above the rink is ticking to the heartbeat of a dead man. 

jeno can is aware that he's breathing. he's aware but he has to double check when the entrance doors open for the last time that game and you've arrived. you're standing by the doorway, apprehensive, but jeno can't get it past his head that you've arrived, that you're here. he'd have gotten decked in the face had you not motioned your head in the direction of the fast approaching puck and the burly man behind it.

he blocks the shot and every shot after. there's no need to wonder why.

the buzzer rings in his head so quick that he thinks time runs on his emotions rather than the clock. his helmet is often in seconds and he's making his way at supersonic speeds to the part of the rail where you're stood. the glass fogs with his breath as he tries to get his words across. 'i'll be quick,' he mouths. 

you count two minutes until he's off ice. jeno hasn't bothered to shower, he lacks the patience for it. he sits you down on the lowest of the bleachers, closest to the rink. standing over you, he finds that he has so much to say, so many things he wants to let you know, all the feelings he's ever bottled up for the girl so obviously made for him.

he's never had much of a way with words but he thinks that the romance movies hyuck's made him watch over the years give a pretty good overview of what to say in situations like these, "i'd cross the world for you." you snort back at him, nose crinkling in distaste at his choice of words and poking fun at him with your own, "rink, jeno. you mean you'd cross the rink for me."

"y/n, i'm tryna do something here," he whines, the pout on display mimicking his displeased but light-hearted implications. you're equally as amused, "oh yeah? what are you tryna do?"

"i'm tryna," he takes your two arms in his and wraps them around his middle. you instinctively fist the fabric of his blue jersey at the back, "jeno, what are you-" you stop when a hand of his own comes to trace the lines of your face softly. maybe he can't find the words but surely he could show you. if he could just…"you keep interrupting me, jeno."

drawn from his resolution, he's snappy when he retorts, "i think as your boyfriend i ought to have that privilege."

"boyfriend? since when did you-"

"i just did," he revels in the idea that you think him to be smooth with words when in reality the 'boyfriend' was a slip up, a mirror of his daydreams. he's over the moon that it worked out in his favor. while he fixates on just how much he feels for you, you're playfully annoyed at a whole other, "stop fucking interrupting me, jen-"

"i love you."

you blink up at him. well shit. a lot of things are happening and you lack the brain cells to process them. there's only one thing you can think to do, only one think that you're thinking about, have been thinking about, will still be thinking about. 

he may be the one to steal words right from your mouth but beyond that he's oblivious, you think. the smile still plays on his lips when he follows up, "is it okay to interrupt you if i say something like tha-"

you press a smile of your own onto his lips, cutting his words effectively. a hand of yours moves up to the curve of his neck to bring him down further, the angle at which he is kissing giving him all the advantage he needs to deepen it. when you part, you aren't surprised to see how half your body is leaning on the row of seats behind you and that jeno's entire body is sprawled on yours, supported by a knee on one side of you. 

you like your lips as you feel his breath hot on yours. "how's it feel now?"

shaking his head, jeno presses his temple to yours so that the only thing you can see is him, just him. "interrupt me any day, will you?"

copyright © 2020 rouiyan all rights reserved.

✧ end note — wrote this up in approx. three hours. lee jeno is so rude for interrupting all my other wips (that are also mostly for him). i hope you enjoyed because i did, i freaking love writing for him <3

[dewitty1]

Fic Recs Wrap Up  -  November 2020 (੭ˊ͈ ꒵ˋ͈)･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*☆

Survival of the Species by Romaine 

Draco approaches Harry on the 9 ¾ platform, after their sons have boarded the Hogwarts Express, and invites him over for tea. The discussion they have leads them on an adventure that neither could have expected. Rec Post, Art Post by @artisticentropy

The Light More Beautiful by firethesound @firethesound

Thirteen years after Draco accepts Potter's help escaping the horror of his sixth year, he returns to England where he makes the unfortunate discovery that Potter is still as obnoxious as ever. And worse, more than a decade overseas hasn't been enough to dim Draco's obsession with him. Rec Post

parapraxis by pasdexcuses 

Harry doesn't think much about the fact that he and Malfoy have been exchanging dares for the better part of a decade. He doesn't think much about Malfoy's dares being this constant thread in his life. And he especially doesn't think much about how daring Malfoy is close to the only thing making him feel alive after the war. Rec Post

He Who Must Not Be Normal by lettered @letteredlettered

Potter has fame and fortune and posh clothes and all he wants is a simple life. Draco has a flat and a cat and a steady job and all he wants is a complicated life. Which makes you think this story has something exciting like body-swapping, but it doesn’t. Instead it has Indian takeaway and a blue jumper and people wanting a whole lot of what they can’t have, discovering themselves as they discover each other. Rec Post

Super Rich Kids by trishjames @thusspoketrish

Draco Malfoy has become disillusioned by the glitz and glamour of the scandalous lives of the Post-Second Wizarding War Pureblood Elite. Enter: one existential crisis, one group of thieving cynical friends, and several terrible, terrible decisions. RecPost 1, 2 Art post 1, 2 by @junk-ren

It Takes a Village by Saras_Girl 

Eighth year isn’t exactly going to plan. Harry is definitely not running away, Draco is definitely not impressed, and it’s almost definitely not going to stop raining. Rec Post

Turn, Drop, Fall by Tessa Crowley (tessacrowley) @tessacrowley

In his father's world of staunch traditions and strict gender dynamics, presenting as an omega is the worst thing that could happen to Draco, although accidentally bonding to Harry Potter and being forced into a marriage with Antonin Dolohov both come in close second. Rec Post

Black Holes and Revelations Femme (femmequixotic) @femmequixotic

What was meant to be an unexpected one-off in the loo of a Camden bar turns into something rather different, much to Harry and Draco's surprise. Rec Post

Here are some other great fics you might enjoy! 

(ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

Starkissed by Zigster @zigster-ao3 

“Your tattoos!” The intruder says, boldly stepping over Ron’s chaise and crossing in front of Hermione to get to Harry, eyes wide and hungry. Harry immediately sits up, pulling the towel draped across the back of his chair down over his shoulders. “No! Don’t cover them. They’re beautiful.” . Harry hopes an indulgent trip abroad will help shake him out of the doldrums of his life. What he finds once he gets to Venice is more than he ever expected. Fic Claim Post 

Asking For A Friend? by RoonilWazlibMalfoy @evenmyzefronposter

Asking for a friend? Don't be shy! I'm Genna Russ with advice!

Draco Malfoy, drag queen and agony aunt for the Daily Prophet, is very happy with his life. He loves his job. He loves his drag queen persona. And he loves the fact that the wider Wizarding world doesn't know who is offering them sassy advice with their morning news.

When he starts receiving letters from one Harry Potter – letters that are too racy to publish – he does the only thing he can do: he replies. His carefully constructed secret life is at risk of being blown wide open, but he just can't help himself. Draco never did have any self-control where the Prat Who Lived was concerned. Fic Claim Post

All I Have to Do by fluxweed @fluxweeed

The Patented Daydream Charm (Adult Edition) allows you to enter a top-quality, highly realistic thirty-minute sexual fantasy. Solitude and privacy spells advised.

or: Draco finally has some alone time; Harry just needs to nip in for a book. Fic Claim Post

On Your Shore by xanthippe74 @xanthippe74

Clearing out a remote house full of cursed collectibles in the Outer Hebrides? Not a problem for an experienced curse breaker like Harry Potter. Spending a week with the straight, happily-married man that he’s starting to have feelings for? And sharing a bed with him at night? Surely Harry can handle that, too. But both the house and Draco Malfoy have secrets to uncover, and Harry might be in deeper water than he thought. Fic Claim Post

The Kisses Don’t Count, If No One Else Knows by oldenuf2nb @dianacopland

Minister for Magic Harry Potter does not love his job. The one bright point in his life is his secret relationship with Quidditch Super Star Draco Malfoy. When they're 'outed' by a peeping tom with a camera, Harry has to decide what's really important.

You Do Your Body Work, I Feel My Pulse Working Overtime by VeelaWings @veelawings

Harry did not have an addiction to watching Draco masturbate on camera. He could stop any time he wanted to. Really. Fic Claim Post

Take All That You See by GallifreyisBurning @gallifrey1sburning

Draco Malfoy has only two goals for his eighth year are Hogwarts: 1) stay as invisible as possible, and 2) get enough NEWTs to be accepted at a university abroad and get the hell out of the UK. Everything is going according to plan until he is unceremoniously outed by the Daily Prophet and subsequently disowned.

Finding himself the unexpected focus of unwanted attention and harassment, he is suddenly dependent on the good will and protection of the last people he would have expected — Harry Potter and his gang of do-gooder Gryffindors (plus Luna Lovegood). With his world turned upside down, how will Draco make it through the rest of the year? And worse still, as he grows closer and closer to Harry, how will he get out with his heart intact? Fic Claim Post

Always by Ischa @ischa-posts

In which Draco is the (in)famous erotica writer H.J. Belladonna, writing successful scandalous novel after successful scandalous novel and hiding his true identity, and Harry is questioning his sexuality after reading one of Belladonna’s books. Until ten years after the war their paths cross again, and Harry doesn’t only question his sexuality, but also the meaning of his obsession with Draco Malfoy.

Let's not wait for France by gnarf @gnarf

All Harry had wanted from his Eighth year at Hogwarts was a little peace and a little privacy but, from the moment that he stepped onto Platform 9 3/4, it was obvious that nothing was ever going to be that easy.

An accidental bond with Malfoy that resulted in them having to stay together at all times was the final straw.

Things couldn't be worse. So much to a quiet year in Hogwarts.

♡✧( ु•⌄• ) I hope you enjoy these as much as I have!  

So sorry for being a bit late posting this one!

As always, thank you so much for  following, reading, and reblogging! Your support means so much to me!

xoxo Carey ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡💜💙💚💛❤💗💕💖

[monkey-network]

Why Klaus IS Christmas Kino

Klaus isn’t flawless, let’s get this out the way. My love for this film won’t deny that it bears a couple nits that can distract the experience. Jesper and Alva’s relationship felt like an eye-rolling inevitability, notable cliches here & there, a notable song felt both fitting and out of place, and while enjoyable, I’m not as big a fan of the climax as I thought. But in spite of it all, I love this film and it is one of the best modern animated Christmas films, period? Follow me here. I could go on about its wonderful animation cuz yeah, it’s unlike any other film. But a philosophy of mine is that the best animation enhances the writing and I can say Klaus is that surprisingly well written and has become an all time Christmas fave

*deep breath in* So let’s do this...

I mention that Klaus has its cliches, but you gotta know that it’s smarter than expected. Believe me when I say if the writers didn’t care, this could’ve actually been so much worse. Jesper could’ve been more manipulative towards everyone for his goals, Klaus would’ve given up entirely after knowing the truth about Jesper, we could’ve had an argument between Jesper and his dad about upholding business, the townsfolk could’ve reverted back to their old ways, plenty writing moments where this could’ve been Emoji Movie levels of insulting to your intellect. BUT, they don’t. The film never really turns back on itself, it keeps moving where, as the notable quote goes, an act of good will sparks another as it starts with Jesper’s father.

Even if nepotism was responsible for Jesper getting the job in the first place, he clearly sees his son be more spoiled than he’s worth so is like, “Ma boi, I will send you to the ends of the earth or leave you to the streets if you don’t do something with yourself.” He never cared about his son representing the postal company, or ruining his top class image, he was only tired of Jesper taking advantage of his fortune while not having any ambition of his own. Can’t help but say Jesper’s dad is a very respectable character because the sole reason the whole plot happened in the first place was because he just wanted his son to do better. It’s that act of genuine consideration that pushes Jesper to his wake up call as he reaches Smeerensburg.

People have compared this movie to Emperor’s New Groove through Jesper’s character and I say yes, but this film takes that next step and put Jesper in the pit of pits way early. Reminds me more of Ratatouille’s beginning where Remy’s lowest point is around the same time as Jesper’s. The harsh atmosphere of the island is treated very blunt in how this is our mailman’s nightmare come true. With his situation, our guy is truly at his lowest. Gives up now, he’ll be cut off his inheritance and probably will have worse. Everyone hates him and each other, his post office itself is in shambles, symbolic of how communication is practically thin outside conflict, and the teacher turned fish seller Alva is that path Jesper could notably be if he didn’t try. Everything is literally grey for this guy, but like Ratatouille, when you’re at your lowest there’s no where else to go but up. That’s where Klaus comes in...

This is genuinely the most clever interpretation of Santa I know, hands down. A well established woodsman, a crafter both of living, for him and the birds that reside in his woods, and recreation with the toys he made himself not just for kids, but specifically the kids he and his wife wanted but couldn’t have. Klaus feels like a real person, not just another take on the mythical man. You’re with him and Jesper as he, after familiar winds provide him a letter, a small spark to do something good, soon opens up and gets reminded of what’s kept him going all these years. It is no wonder he sees his wife in Jesper, it’s thanks to him that he could refurbish his dashed dream into a new one. He didn’t just want to do it for the children of the island, but for himself. That is another thing about this film: communication. I mention before how it’s practically thin at first due to a long going feud that isn’t even aware of why it’s still going. The joy in hate is only for hatred’s sake, and they make it very clear how miserable it all feels. That is where Jesper comes in. They don’t take shortcuts with how he gets the ball rolling, both accidentally and purposefully, he boots up to get things done, pushes himself to go to Klaus to make things happen. This is all in part by the youth, what really ties the plot together...

As I mentioned before (again), life in Smeerensburg is noticeably miserable but thanks to Klaus, by extension Jesper, the kids are enticed to do what it takes to get some genuine joy in their lives through the toys they’re able to get. They’ll make them letters, and if they can’t write, they’ll go to Alva for teachings, and if they act naughty, they’ll try to do good which in turn pushes the adults to do good for the sake of their kids. It really would’ve been one thing to sure enough make the kids spoiled because of the toy giving, focusing more on the extrinsic value of Klaus’s kindness but no. The children are very grateful for these gifts enough to feel compelled to do good, and it makes them feel good as much as it soon makes the adults more convinced to stop fighting. It helps that this all takes place in older times cuz I believe this would’ve been far different, possibly worse, if this took place in modern times. That or just kinda rip off Arthur Christmas, it’s my guess. As such, it gradually becomes an amazing Christmas film because it isn’t just the presents, the Santa Claus myth, the festive style of it all that makes this holiday special to me. It’s the warmth... of togetherness.

My favorite detail about Klaus is how it transitions from cold to warm with its atmosphere. We start out with the emptiest, harshest environment, enough fog to choke your eyes, and then we get to this moment with a brighter, clearer sight of the more united town as the Christmas spirit builds in the film, even when it isn’t even that day yet in-universe, so too does the warmhearted feeling that can come from celebrating it appear more and more. This film fleshes out more of what the Grinch taught me, what A Charlie Brown Christmas taught me, what I’ve come to appreciate about Christmas as I grew up in this materialistic world. I can say everyday can have the Holiday spirit, but Christmas is the time where I feel compelled to be grateful of what I’ve made and got and give back when honestly, I don’t care about getting the most expensive stuff anymore like I used to when I was way younger. This film is so sincere in what it wants to say, and you know this is indeed the same guy that made Minions. Yeah, not kidding and I’ll let you sit with that if you’re reading this as I continue because we have to talk about that moment...

Yeah, I don’t like being the Nostalgia Critic, but I too don’t take kindly to the ‘liar reveal’ trope myself and this could’ve been a point where the film lost me a little. Though you know what? It still works. See, with that trope, what sucks is that it can tend to unravel the plot to where you know as soon as they break apart, they’ll get back together regardless of the deed done. This is why I don’t like A Bug’s Life, don’t @ me. But I’m not saying it can’t done right, like in Over the Hedge. The breakup between Jesper and the others is painful, but it is necessary to give us a couple great character moments. One is with Jesper and his dad, who came back personally to see that Jesper has indeed built something for himself. We get no dialogue between them but it’s clear that even when Jesper’s unintentionally successful thanks to Yzma and Bubba, he can tell his son wasn’t happy leaving everything behind, so he lets him stay since that was what he truly wanted this whole time. Again, give that man some credit for amazing dad. Another moment comes before the big reveal where not only do we see Jesper come to understand his own guilt surrounding his original intentions, but in the end they never hated him for coming back, especially due to him inadvertently stopping the enemy feud all together. Lastly, without that moment, we probably wouldn’t have got this smile. When Margu, purest character ever that I could make a whole segment about but I don’t wanna keep you too long, started to tear up after calling for Jesper thinking he left for good but she then sees our guy never really left and we get this teary smile:

I felt that. Almost more than anything else in this film.

Cliched as it can appear, the execution excels in those more memorable emotions for this film. It’s been a year since I watched this again and I remember so much about these characters. And my god, I haven’t even gotten to the animation which... my god.

Klaus is indeed the most beautiful upon beautiful films I’ve seen, and what makes it better is that it all enhances the story. I mention before of its transitional visual from cold to warm sights, but goddamn, the character designs, the environments, the expressiveness, the textures all amount to style perfect for this alone. I think it would’ve as well received if it had a more flat look, but they seriously went higher for a traditional appealing story that compliments the unique children’s storybook look of it all. This honestly is better than most of modern Disney films that I’ve seen, ironic since it feels like if you took Tangled the Series and made it 3D with more fluid character animation. And if I’m comparing something to the continuous mindblower that’s Tangled the Series, you’ve most certainly got on my best side.

Sergio Pablos and his team really pulled no punches in making this a great movie. A great Christmas movie, one worth seeing if not at least once but every Holiday season for tradition’s sake. Klaus gave me a good time, made me cry, and above all showed me to never stop having a good heart because doing good can indeed go far, thankless as it can be. Heck, my heart felt more rejuvenated than before in making this critique, that’s a testament to how much good this film means to me personally. What else is there to say?

It's The Best

[scorpiosanssexy]

Pick a card reading: What makes you so attractive to others + bnha characters who would highkey simp for you

Hiya i am back, this spread basically highlights all of your attractive qualities about yourself (and yes you do have them) with the added additon of a hidden talent and how you can better love yourself. 

My favourite part of this reading is at the bottom I have included My hero characters that would very much swoon if you even spoke to them (in other words they have a crush). 

I was going to do 4 piles for this reading but everytime i tried to do the 4th one i kept getting really bad headaches so i decided against it. 

All you need to do is look at the anime food photos infront of you and pick the one you were first drawn to and then scroll below to your reading. I hope you enjoy it and that this reading does reasonate with you.

Stay safe and healthy

Pile 1 (Watermelon)

Why you are so amazing

The traits and simply make you, you. 

The Sun: I literally squealed when this card came out of the deck, like chaotic babies unite. This card represents all things happy, you just have this cheerful personality that brings so much joy to others like even with the doom and gloom around us you still manage to keep on smiling which is honestly a massive talent. For some reason (if there are any MHA fans in the building) I thought of Mirio who is always so upbeat and ready to help others in need, I feel like this is definitely you. To me, the idea of being a really good storyteller came into my mind like the sun represents the performative aspects of life so just naturally grabbing that audience's attention is something you are so good at and I am never ever bored in your company. Looking at the picture of the card there is a little child riding a horse, you have this childlike innocence and curiosity which is the most adorable thing ever but I feel like sometimes people underestimate your intelligence and capabilities. I would like to say that the child on the card is sitting in a very confident manner and is controlling the horse with ease which suggests to me that you do have this deep maturity about you too which people tend to forget, the fact you can go from loud and upbeat to quiet and introspective is so cool and amazing as Hannah Montana says “you got to live the best of both worlds”. One final message is that it is ok to feel sad and that you don’t have to be optimistic all the time, you are not a burden and many people will rush towards you full of love and support. 

Page of Swords: seeing this card after drawing the sun made a lot of sense in my mind, the page represents youthful energy and the swords are all to do with our intellect and abstract concepts (like of like air in astrology) so you might be a bit of a bookworm or you like to learn more about things like tarot or astrology. What I can say is that you know a little about a lot which is super amazing because you always have some random fact tucked into your brain, you would be great on a quiz team. You are so witty and funny too like I can imagine people are always bent over laughing whenever they are in your company and if you do not believe me then I can guarantee that is what they say to other people when talking about how cool you are. Quite the chatterbox on your school reports I can imagine the teacher said that you may have “talked a bit too much” but you can’t help it, you do love to socialise. Looking at the picture on the card the page is surrounded with clouds so I can imagine you are a little bit of a daydreamer which is very endearing and sweet you can’t help it physics the last thing on a Friday is just so incredibly boring, you come up with the grandest ideas and no one knows how like why didn’t they think of that you are a natural outside the box thinker. Lastly, I think the Page of Swords is a very good problem solver sure it might not be the most straightforward solution if you solve your problems in a way which works for you, you do not follow convention and are proud to be an innovator and that deserves a reward in itself. 

The Lovers: the most romantic card in the whole deck, my goodness you are a hopeless romantic, you love to daydream about all the possibilities and you might also believe in soulmates, personally I think it is very sweet and we need more idealist in this world because sometimes reality can seem so bleak. I just know in my heart that you would be one of the best s/o ‘s ever like you would do all the cute romantic gestures like buying roses and leaving cute notes around their room like I am actually gonna go and squeal in a pillow because of how precious you are. The Lovers also indicate that you know who you are and you know what your morals are, whilst you may be an idealist you don’t let people walk all over you that’s for sure, you stand up for yourselves and for others and are the voice for the people who cannot be heard. You make a very good public speaker too (you should give it a go deffo) and are very clever with your words as the Lovers are ruled by Gemini. A scenario which popped into my head was somebody thinking you flirted with them but in actual fact, you were just being friendly. Looking at the picture of the card the background appears to look like the garden of Eden for some odd reason the first kind of trait is you being able to make yourself at home anywhere. The Garden of Eden represents paradise so like you can naturally find your “paradise” in a different location or with a group of people perhaps the word I am looking for is spontaneous whatever it is I feel like that is something you can do. My last message is that you sometimes doubt yourself and your decision-making skills. What I have to say is that trust your intuition and go for it, don’t get too caught up in your head because you do not need to, you have excellent observation skills already. 

Hidden Talent

Perhaps something you might not have been aware of 

Knight of Swords: You are very ambitious, I feel like many people do not see that due to your sunny exterior but once you have a goal in mind there is no stopping you. You remind me of the Queen song “Don’t stop me now” like your life is always so fast-paced. When the situation calls for it you can leave that page of sword persona and step up into the role of the knight and take charge of the situation. You are assertive and direct as I think some of you reading this reading today may feel like you are a bit of a doormat but I can confidently say you are not. Also, you are extremely intellectual, you may not be academically intelligent but it’s more that you are very eloquent and can debate with ease, like you can break down someone else’s point and explain how they contradict one another or how they don’t add up. On the card itself, the knight is wearing the colour blue, according to colour theory blue is representative of Logic and wisdom. Another big indicator of how smart you really are not a himbo by any means. You do have a very logical side to yourself that perhaps you don’t even realise you are using like you are very good reasoning out things (sorry that this is so vague my mind had gone all foggy). Blue is also a very calm colour so you are definitely a very tranquil kind of person too, you do not stress out often and you don’t let high-pressure situations get the better of you. You truly are cool as a cucumber. Writing this currently, I feel so peaceful, like you create a sanctuary for people. 

How to love yourself

We all have our down days so here are some tips and tricks to make you feel better 

2 of Coins: I feel like the universe here has kind of given you two options here. Usually, this card indicates a need to be flexible and have to juggle things around if in this case I do not believe it is your message. I wanted to look at the image, especially the two pictures inside the coins. The first one is the weighing scales which are perfectly balanced which I interpreted as being the symbol of Libra. Being patient with yourself and saying kind words to yourself can be very healing, a tactic could maybe leave post notes in nice places so whenever you walk around the room. Definitely pamper yourself when you deserve it. The message I am getting from this card is that you are too harsh on yourself and never give yourself the self care you deserve, get that face mask and blast a bit of Megan, be the princess/prince you deserve to be. On the other part of the coin is a picture of a big moon with a tiny sun in the middle, my interpretation comes back to the sun card and you feel like you always have to hold this cheery facade. The moon represents our emotions specifically our anxieties and fears with it being bigger so with it being the bigger image I feel like in order to love yourself you are going to need to express your emotions in a healthy way whatever mechanism works best for you, for me ranting to a close friend always helps but other people prefer to journal or use a creative outlet which is fine too. Lastly, as I mentioned at the top the 2 of coins indicates that you have lots of projects in your life so maybe if you immerse yourself in those you can unlock the true path to good self esteem. 

Bnha characters who highkey have a crush on you 

Bakugou, Jirou, Shindo, Shigaraki and Midnight (maybe sir nighteye) 

----------

Pile 2 (Ramen)

Why you are so amazing 

The traits that simply make you, you

The Star with the 2 of Swords: these cards both fell out at the exact same time with the star on top and the 2 of swords behind so I decided to use the swords card as a clarifier one. I say this about a lot of the cards but i can tell that the star is one of my faves 100% it represents hope, creativity and calm. The first kind of trait that came into my head when this card popped out is that you always shine wherever you go, you are just gifted at everything, some of you think you may be the burnt out gifted child but you are not, you still glow even if you can’t see it yourself and people are in awe (and somewhat intimidated by you) because of your success and achievements. Looking into the actual meaning you are the type of person to never give up, the star is a sign that your wishes are coming into fruition, if something doesn’t go according to plan you do not dwell on it too much and brush yourself up again and carry on which is amazing considering the circumstances we are in. The word I was looking for is resilient and persistent. You don’t let the haters stop you from doing your thing. You have a calming disposition and I imagine your role is the mediator of the friendship, like you just have the most soothing presence. I want to go into more detail about the fact the star is ruled by Aquarius because that fact seems to keep sticking out for me, I trait we never talk about in regards to aquarius is that they can in fact be great leaders, they are the trendsetters of the zodiac so I feel like you prefer to live life your own way rather than copy others which I admire you for because going against the current is hard. Because of your actions I feel like  you inspire others whenever you know this or not (spoiler alert you do). Another thing that has sprung to my mind is that I feel like you can be quite mysterious. Everybody is so intrigued by you wanting to know what is going on in your mind. With the 2 of swords being there too, it usually indicates that a decision needs to be made however looking at the picture the lady is confidently holding the 2 swords which suggests to me that you are a very decisive person and once you set your mind to something there is no stopping you. You are much more talented than you give yourself credit for so never stop shining.

The Hierophant: this made me very intrigued about your reading when this card fell because the star and the hierophant kind of have contrasting energies since the H is ruled by Taurus. The Hierophant stands for knowledge and education, you probably take your studies quite seriously or you naturally maintain good grades throughout the year (which i think is so cool), you are the person who forms a study group to help their dumbass friends  so that they don’t fail the finals and honestly as someone who is a member of the dumbass friend squad without people like you in the world I wouldn’t have any educational qualifications. Helping others is second nature to you, always quick to give a helping hand with those in need. The Hierophant is a responsible figure so that in turn means so are you, you always make sure that everything is done on time and that your drunk friends get home safely, others may say you can be a little bit too serious but I have to disagree, your organisation skills are amazing and if I ever met you you will probably be my idol. Looking at this cards ruling sign Taurus, not a lot of people realise how ambitious a taurus can be (most people think quite the latter but remember there is a reason that taurus is an earth sign), you have big plans for yourself and I feel like you definitely prioritise your career over other aspects of yourlife, your drive and commitment to yourself and others is truly amazing and promise me you won’t be too hard on yourself because as some random kardashian once said “you are doing amazing sweetie”. 

Knight of Pentacles: this card is the CEO of detail, the knight is a figure who is very happy to serve the king and with it being in the suits of pentacles no detail will be missed out. You are incredibly observant of others one example that popped into my head is that you can tell what others are thinking through either body language or just how they communicate (take this if it resonates with you) or maybe you are simply very organised. Either way your amazing perception is something that goes unnoticed by others so I believe this card fell from the deck as a chance to give you the credit you deserve. You are incredibly hard working, the knight is always alert and on duty so no matter the day of the week you are working, it can be school work or passion projects you are constantly trying to achieve the best version of yourself, make sure you have a break and have a kit kat y’know. The knight is patient who works diligently towards his goals which I think you very much channel, like you are so kind and patient towards anyone, always offering to listen to other people’s problems and offering them first class advice (which is something I am very jelly of in a good way). The message I get from this is that you are so patient with others so please be patient with yourself, don’t push yourself so hard that your self esteem begins to suffer because you do not deserve that. 

Hidden Talents

Perhaps something you might not have been aware of 

The High Priestess: this card is such a badass card, like the high priestess is the CEO of intuition and all that jazz, your bullshit detector is off the radar and the even cooler thing you don’t even know it. This isn’t to say you should be distrustful of every single person you meet but if you have a gut feeling I say you should stick with it as mother nature has blessed you out of this world intuition. The high priestess represents having inner power, the picture on the card shows her sitting in her chair very assured. To other people you come across as having this quiet confidence, you do not boast about your talents through words however you bring them forward with actions, I feel like people are secretly in awe of you. Coming back to the picture the high priestess is mostly wearing teal (including her dress and her accessories), typically the colour teal represents elegance and politeness which is something you 100% possess ( a true lady/gentlemen) however reading more into the psychology behind this colour one line really stuck out to me - “Teal is a slightly unconventional colour, you value your uniqueness and don’t wish to fit in the crowd”, whilst you may have a serious demeanor it doesn’t me you are boring by any means, it could be the way your express your style via clothing that is unique or perhaps you have a secret niche interest that not many people know about. Whatever it is, you are a very interesting and complex person and you are definitely a lot more than meets the eye. 

How to love yourself

We all have our off days, so here is some tips and tricks on how to feel better

The Star: I found it so amazing that this card came out again in a different deck, the message when I saw the 2 star cards just confirmed to me that you don’t realise how amazing you are, like you are constantly downplaying yourself because you are so incredible modest, like you are so much better than you think you are and you deserve all the joy in the world. The star in tarot represents hope and affirmations, somebody praising you definitely makes your day. (this message just came to me when i was writing this), society constantly tells us not to out looking for external praise and to be happy with ourselves it has to come from within but I slightly disagree on this standpoint, I believe you guys lack that external validation in your life, so when someone does praise you it really has a big impact. Getting complimented is a good thing and you deserve every single one of them. Getting back on track, looking closely at the picture the lady is pretty much naked except for a blue ribbon covering her “private parts”, to me this is an indication that you should show off, like put on a pretty dress (or whatever clothing makes you feel the most comfortable) and get some beyonce on and pretend you are a victoria secrets angel, release the inner diva, do something bougie, get your nails done. Honestly you guys deserve the spotlight (if you want that) or either the right to feel confident, like just go dancing and let all that negative energy out through your movements. I wanted to have a look at the blue ribbon in more detail, blue is a colour that represents calmness and tranquility, so any activities that make you in a calm or soothing state will really help you too. It could be the classical calming activities such as guided meditation or a really nice hot bubble bath but my sister says she finds shopping to be very relaxing, so whatever hobby or thing makes you fall into this state could also really help increase the self-esteem here. 

Bnha characters who highkey have a crush on you

Monoma, Uraraka, Hawks, Mina and Sero 

-----------------

Pile 3 (Pasta)

Why are you so amazing

What traits make you, you

The Emperor: the emperor card represents structure, stability and authority. I feel like a lot of you picking this reading are quite shocked that this card came out, like I feel like you might not think of yourself as the most stable person (especially during these uncertain times) however I do not think you give yourself enough credit. You thrive under following a strict schedule and always follow through on your goals (for some reason I feel like you might have a very extensive writing blog, like your masterlists are all extremely organised). You naturally bring stability to others though, I keep getting the phrase “you are my rock” and you are always there if anyone needs you. Of course this doesn’t make you a doormat by any means in fact quite the latter, the emperor is a man of action and leadership, you are a natural leader and always know the exact action to take in regards to a situation, a problem solver, people come to you for when they need to seek answers and get stuff done. The emperor serves the kingdom fairly thus he facts rationally in regards to making decisions. You are perhaps on the more logical side and are not too rash when it comes to your emotions, an aloof and calculated person, many people are in awe of your authoritative aura you have around you. You are extremely fair and just too, not a cold person at all, if someone wrongs you or your loved ones they are getting the treatment they deserve, we are so blessed to have you as an incredibly loyal person in this world. For some of you I highkey think you are into things that involve strategies or methodical thinking a couple of things that came to mind were Jigsaw puzzles, chess or solving rubik's cubes but sports and other hobbies do use this critical thinking as well, also I feel like you might be extremely passionate about it too. The emperor is ruled by aries so you are a person of action, you hate the idea of sitting around and I feel like you are never afraid to take on a challenge which is extremely admirable because many people are afraid of failure but you don’t see it as that, you see it has another chance to prove yourself and honestly as I am typing this out I am feeling so motivated to do something badass. Best hype man period. (Also i couldn’t help but think of commander erwin smith when i was writing this so maybe you kin this man a little bit) 

Seven of Swords: now this card in tarot is basically referring to someone being a backstabbing little shit but actually I think this highkey is a very badass card to come out of the deck in regards to what makes you so amazing. This card indicates scheming and coming up with a strategy which to me empathises how intelligent you are. You have some extremely high IQ or you naturally incredibly street smart either way your intellect is something to be marveled. Unlike pile number 2 I would not say you are studious but are the type of person who can have like 2 hours sleep and come in and do a test and still pass with flying colours. With this card, I feel like you are two steps ahead of everyone else, I can imagine that you sort of go into this mind palace like sherlock holmes where you connect all the loose threads, out of this world deduction skills, like how do you do it I will never know??? Definitely very good actors, like you can turn on the charm if need be and honestly you guys are super badass, you are the one person I believe who could actually survive animes such as Attack on Titan or the promised neverland.

Seven of Pentacles: Whenever I see this card in a personal reading of me it’s the universe’s way of telling me to stop being an impatient bitch and keep working. You sure do put up with a lot of shit, I 100% think that within your friendship you are the voice of reason and honestly you deserve a nobel peace prize. Seven of Pentacles indicates a need for looking more into the future, a long term perspective, you deffo play the long game, thinking before you leap and taking into consideration the consequences of your actions. You know where to invest your time in and make excellent planners, the archetype that has come into my brain is the chess master, you just know how to move each piece or in this instance know exactly what endeavours to pursue in life. The lady on the card looks very at rest despite all the work she has done, to me this indicates that you make a lot of things look really easy, perhaps you have a niche hobby that you have perfected over the years or maybe you are naturally an elegant person. What I can tell you is that whatever sort of work you present is bougie as fuck, wherever it be a writing for tumblr or some artwork it always looks so damn professional (your talent makes me go on all starry eyed). Lastly, I feel like your motto is “slow and steady is the race”, you would rather take slightly longer on a project then finish it quickly with lots of errors, definitely a perfectionist. 

Hidden Talent

 Perhaps something you might have not been aware of 

The Chariot: the first thoughts that came to mind is that you are incredibly hard working and have lots of self discipline, many people believe you were always just naturally good at stuff not seeing the sweat and tears that has got you to your amazing level now, for instance you are extremely charming however this wasn’t a gift you were born with but something you learnt. The lady pictured on the card was wearing gold armour, the colour gold was really standing out to me so I decided to include this within the interpretation. The colour gold means triumph and success, to me this shows that when you put your talents to good use (towards a goal) the world becomes your oyster, the universe has gifted you the resources now you just have to pick up and use them. Also within the picture, there were 2 horses white and black, to me the colours represent divine feminie energy (emotions) and divine masculine energy (logic), the lady has control of the horses which shows that you have good control over both logic and emotions and don’t let one over power the other one. The spiritual guide of the horse shows that you are actually an extremely passionate person, I feel like you may have a slightly apathetic appearance so people can get quite shocked when they see you all fired up and ready to go, but you are. You look towards the future and never let the past hold you back, you are always ready for battle and just like the chariot you charge on ahead never looking back. The chariot card is ruled by Cancer, I feel like you are a very good listener, people are surprised at how comforting you can actually be, you do look out for your friends and just want to make sure they are healthy and well. You truly treasure those close around you and will take the bullet for any of them, I literally feel so emotionally writing this and honestly words cannot describe how amazing you are.

How to love yourself

We all have our down days, so here are some tips and tricks to help us feel better

10 of Cups: this is literally the happy ending card (that's my nickname for it). 10 of cups represents family and emotional fulfilment. The first message that came to mind in regards to loving yourself was listing things that you are grateful for, as someone who has low self esteem issues I know this can be extremely difficult but you need to dig deep. If you have trouble starting off taking personality quizzes can be a good start, my personal faves our the myer briggs (do not take 16personalities it isn’t accurate) and the jungian archetypes (i got the Jester), you can see some good traits from these quiz results which could help you start your list. What was really prominent on this card was the peace sign that was in the background, this could be an indication that may need to find peace with yourself or perhaps try to find peace around you, with the chaos that has been COVID you may have lost your balance in life, the cups aren’t standing up right. Perhaps your sleep schedule has gone out the window or you are skipping lunch most days ( I am guilty of doing this too), try by fixing your daily routine, this could be by going to bed 1 hour earlier or maybe making sure you go outside at least once a day. I definitely think that will increase your overall morale and thus the confidence will make a comeback. Spending time with your family is another theme of this card, I understand that some family members can be a pain however talking to them just having a normal conversation could really help forge better relationships with them. Be happy with the here and now because contentment is right under your nose. 

BNHA characters that would highkey have a crush on you  

Deku, Toga, Iida, Miriko and Dabi

[queenofspades6]

Injured (Loki x reader)

Summary: You were badly injured and Loki is extremely worried.

Warnings: Angst. Fluff. Protective Avengers.

AN: Another fanfiction of one of my favorite characters, Loki Laufeyson! I hope you’ll enjoy! Link to my Loki Series: Just a Midgardian where you go to Asgard with Loki and Odin is willing to make your life a living hell.

***

You and the Avengers were on a perilous mission. A monster was attacking New York and destroying everything in his path. There were already more than fifty dead, and the whole city was starting to panic. So obviously when you and the team discovered that someone was threatening people’s lives, you had to intervene.

Your main goal was to kill the monster and then come back at the Stark Tower.

At first, you thought it was going to be easy, yet, you changed your mind when suddenly you felt a sharp stick tearing your belly apart. You dared to look down at your stomach and noticed your jacket soaked in blood, the tip of a sharp weapon sticking out of your abdomen. A sudden wave of warmth enveloped your body.

“Tony!”You yelled, already feeling all your strength leaving your body.”I’m down! I am losing a lot of blood! Help, please!”

“Hang on, Y/N, I am coming!”He declared through the comm, running at your rescue.

“Tony, I won’t-I won’t make—”

Dripping with sweat, you felt your body relaxed, and your vision started blurring.

You heard someone called your name, and then, everything went black around you.

***

Loki was sitting on the sofa, reading a book, with a cup of tea on the table. When he heard footsteps, he knew the Avengers were back home. Still not looking away from his book, he just stared at a page without really reading. He didn’t want to look as if he was eavesdropping, even though he was.

“We’re home, Reindeer Games!”Tony shouted, heading towards his room.

A book open in his hands, the God of Mischief waited a few seconds and looked up at the team discreetly.

“Where’s Y/N?”He suddenly questioned, searching for you with fear in his eyes.

The Avengers were purposely avoiding his gaze, and peeking at him awkwardly.

“I won’t repeat ! Where’s Y/N?”Loki uttered, standing up and closing brutally the book in his hands.

The team exchanged some afraid looks.

Who was going to tell Loki what happened?

Thor took a step towards his brother and forced a smile.

“Brother… Lady Y/N is…”The God of Thunder tried articulating, looking down.

“Tell me! Where is Y/N? I demand to know!”Loki shouted, his face becoming red with fury.

He clenched his fists and threw violently his book on the ground.

With obvious pain in his eyes, Thor couldn’t cross his brother’s gaze.

Anger was rising in Loki’s body.

Was Y/N dead?

Without thinking, he took his brother by his shoulders and shook him wildly again and again.

“Tell him, Point Break.”Tony muttered, getting closer to Loki.

“Is Y/N dead?”The God of Mischief asked, his body slowly tensing.

“No, she will be bett—”Thor began to reply, but Stark interrupted him.

“No more lies.”Stark interrupted Thor, giving him a serious and painful look.

“Tell me, mortal!”Cried Loki, marching dangerously towards Tony.”Is she dead?”

“Not yet.”Stark whispered, shrugging and forcing a smile.

“She won’t last the night.”Steve declared, his eyes clouded with tears.

The God of Mischief’s face fell down. You were hurt. He was going to lose you.

“Don’t pretend to care for Y/N, Reindeer Games.” Tony provoked him, giving Loki a long and cold stare.

Although Stark was too proud to admit it, he was angry with himself for letting you be hurt. He was supposed to look after you, to protect you, and he failed. He could have saved you, but he failed. Tony needed someone to blame for his powerlessness, and Loki was the perfect culprit. He was taking his anger out of the God of Mischief. It was easier to blame someone else than to confront the truth.

“I care for Y/N. Dearly.”Loki declared, staring at the void of the room.

“Oh no, you don’t, Reindeer. You were just pretending! You wanted freedom and power, so you used her for your own interest!”

“I care for Y/N.”Loki repeated, clenching firmly his fists and frowning.

“Lie! You’re a monster, Loki. No matter what you do, the only person you serve is yourself! So why still pretending? To keep your conscience? If you have one.”Tony mocked, rage rising in his body.

Steve headed towards Stark and put his hand on his shoulder.

“Stark, stop.”Captain America muttered under his breath.

Shivering, Loki stared at Stark, eyes filled with venom.

“Maybe I am the monster parents tell their children about at night, maybe I am a murderer and a liar! Maybe you’re right!”Spitted the God of Mischief, his muscles tensing.”Maybe I don’t deserve to live, but don’t dare to say that I don’t care about Y/N! Because I care for her! More than I want!”

“Oh, you care? You? The God of Mischief caring for our little Y/N? I don’t believe you! Why would a monster like you appreciate Y/N, if not to hurt her? You didn’t deserve her friendship! She is too kind and loving, and you… You’re the villain of the story, Loki, cruel and merciless. No redemption this time.”

Tony was too close to Loki. Only one step separated them. Stark raised his hand and Steve stopped him before hitting the God of Mischief.

Loki’s face broke down. A few drops of sweat beaded on his forehead. His cheeks were red and his palms were moisty. Taking a deep breath, Loki stared right at Tony.

Stark glared at the god, and at his greatest surprise, he didn’t see anger in Loki’s eyes. It was something Tony didn’t expect. Something much deeper.

Sorrow and regret.

Tony couldn’t speak. Maybe Loki cared after all.

“You’re right, Stark. I am a monster, and took the lives of innocent people. I am not asking for forgiveness. Send me back to Asgard if it’s your wish or lock me in the worst prison for all I care! But don’t tell me I don’t care for Y/N! I-I—… She was the only one to reach out to me, to be kind with me even knowing for New York. Y/N treated me like a human being, she made me feel like maybe life was worth living…”

Loki’s eyes were clouded with tears. Tilting his head, he wept his tears quickly, hoping the others would not notice. He was the God of Mischief after all, he couldn’t cry. And especially not after a mortal.

“Loki?”Thor asked, raising his eyebrows.

The God of Thunder didn’t know what to do. He had not seen his brother cry for hundreds years ago, and seeing him so vulnerable, so fragile, so human, it made Thor’s heart breaks.

“It’s fine, Thor, I don’t feel anything.”Loki lied and sat on the sofa, head in his hands.

With wide eyes, Natasha was observing the god with wonder. Here was the God of Mischief that tried to take over the world though, he looked so human, so exposed. Natasha had a hard time believing it was the same god that killed innocent people in New York. Steve and Thor were looking in awe at him. They weren’t used to see Loki like that. Like someone who had feelings.

Shrugging, Tony walked towards Loki, regret in his eyes.

“Loki, look I am sorry.”Stark said, clenching his teeth and putting away his pride.

The god closed his eyes for a moment and sighed.

“Don’t be. You were right.”He declared, not daring to look at the team’s gaze, and nervously scratching his fingers.

Iron Man gave him a questioning look. A smile slowly appearing on the god’s lips, he stood up and was ready to confront the Avengers.

“You were right, Stark, I don’t care about Y/N. I don’t care for her.”

He grinned and walked in the room, catching the glances of the team.

“In fact, I don’t care for Y/N. I love her. Judge me if that pleases you, but it won’t change my feelings. I love Y/N from the bottom of my heart. Coming from a murderer, it must not value anything though, I-I want to see her. Please. Please, let me see her. If she’s going to die, I want to be here for her and then, you’ll do what you want with me. Give me back to the SHIELD or lock me, whatever you want, just let me see her.”He pleaded with honesty in his eyes.

“Come here, brother.”Thor declared, embracing firmly his brother, with tears falling on his cheeks.

“Thor. Stop it. That’s-That’s humiliating!”

“Come on, Reindeer Games, I am taking you to her.”Tony said.

Loki smiled and followed Stark through the elevator, and then to another room. Tony opened the door, let the god enter and closed the door behind him.

Letting you alone with Loki.

***

Tony didn’t trust the God of Mischief, yet, he knew Loki’s love for you was sincere. He saw the same loving eyes in different people, and he may not have loved Loki, but he cared about you. That was all that mattered.

“Tony. You really left Loki alone with Y/N? I am not reassured. We should keep an eye at him.”Natasha stated, taking something to drink.

“I am not too fond of Reindeer either, but he won’t hurt her. He loves her, Nat, the God of Mischief is really in love.”Tony replied, sipping his glass of scotch.

“Stark is right. My brother won’t lay a finger on her. I have never seen him so caring and loving. Lady Y/N really brings out the best in Loki.”Thor uttered, a proud smile appearing on the corner of his lips.

“Guys! You really think that’s healthy for them to be together? Loki is the God of Mischief after all.”Banner pointed out, his hands filled with files and studies.

“Y/N is not in love with him.”Declared Steve, frowning.”That’s obvious. She was probably staying with him because he was alone, and she didn’t want him to feel lonely and abandoned.”

“Don’t be so sure, Captain, Y/N and Loki have much more in common than we think. I won’t be surprised if she loves him back.”The God of Thunder announced happily, thinking that if you’d marry Loki, you would be his sister in law.

“I am not certain, she’ll survive through the night. Her wounds are deep and even if her body can heal, she has very little chance of surviving.”Tony muttered, feeling pain in his chest.

You were pretty close with Tony. He was like your best friend, and the two of you understood each other. Stark was afraid that Loki would break your heart. And if he did, he would be dead.

“We need to give her rest.”Said Steve.”Maybe she’ll survive. We need to hang on that hope.”

“Sorry, Cap’, I don’t believe in hope, only in science. I am goin’ to check on Y/N.”

Tony didn’t wait the others answers to head towards Y/N’s floor. He hoped you were still alive. Speeding up, Tony arrived in front of your door. He inhaled once and then exhaled deeply.

Fearing the worst, Stark walked towards your bed and found Loki asleep next to Y/N. He checked your pulse, and sighed in relief.

You were still alive.

Tony analyzed your body, and instantly, he knew something was wrong. Or at least strange.

Why was your pulse faster than last time?

You were badly injured, so you should have had a very weak pulse. Curious, Stark quickly lifted your top to examine your wounds. Open-mouthed and wide-eyed, he noticed your deep wounds had suddenly disappeared. You only had a small scratch with a few drops of blood.

You were going to survive.

How? What had happened?

Tony peeked at Loki, and instantly he knew.

Magic was involved. Obviously.

This time the God of Mischief had used his magic for the greater good instead of killing with his gifts. That was how you healed so rapidly. Loki healed you, and by seeing his face, Stark could say the god was pretty exhausted and weak. It must have cost him most of his strength. He had done it to save you of an inevitable death.

Maybe Loki loved you after all.

More than they could think of.

***

If you love that fic, this one is for you too.

⬇️⬇️⬇️

You accompany Thor and Loki to Asgard. You’re all excited to finally see that wonderful place, but what happens when you notice you are only a human among Gods? How can Loki ever love you, a Midgardian, part of the Avengers?

⬇️⬇️⬇️

https://queenoffanfictions.tumblr.com/post/621090392400625665/just-a-midgardian-loki-x-reader