#What if you broke a heart that Allah loves

[islamicspecialistforloveback]

Dua To Someone To Come Back in Your Love

You can make dua to make someone love you back if you love a woman very much and you want her to come back. If you want to build your love again then you can read Dua to make someone love you this both dua will help you to increase the love between both of you. Your love will come back for sure if you read this carefully and peacefully. Many people in this world believed this Dua to be very…

[gentlesounds]

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[muddyorbsblr]

winter warmers collection: all wrapped up

See all the Winter Warmers pieces here! See my full list of works here!

Summary: After getting in hot water with Fury about his shenanigans that revolve around candy cane, you give Loki some advice on how to seduce someone if he really wants to go down the red and white striped road. Even if it hurt you to do so.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 6.5k

Warnings: 18+ | unrequited love-themed angst; smut (minors and pearl clutchers i better not see you here if you know what's good for you); p in v; oral (f receiving)

Things to be aware of: besties to lovers; some fluff peppered in there to keep it interesting

"A Team, I swear on God, Allah, and whoever else is up there in that great big blue sky that if I catch wind of one more infraction from Laufeyson, I will forbid him from exiting this floor without at least one member of the team chaperoning him to make sure that this shit will not happen again. Do I make myself clear?"

You all looked up at Fury, who was standing at the top of the stairs whereas the rest of you parked yourselves into the seats strewn about in the common room. He exuded irritation and authority in his all black getup topped with a leather trench coat, looking down at each member of the team as if you were rambunctious toddlers who had a food fight in the dining room around the fine china rather than fully grown adults rightfully confused why once again he was giving a lecture on how to handle Loki.

"Director Fury, with all due respect, what exactly did Loki do this time?" you queried, not daring to look a the raven haired god by the island currently engaged in a hushed conversation with his brother Thor. You suspected it had something to do with his notorious flirting ways with the employees of SHIELD anyways.

"Let's start with the most frequent complaints I've been hearing," the director began while descending the stairs. "He's been dressing up in a red and white striped skin-tight neoprene jumpsuit and asking employees if they wanna--Hold on, you two!" He pointed at Parker and Bishop who were sitting closer to the door, Kate carrying Stark's little girl in her lap. "Out of the room. You're too young to hear this. Take Morgan with you."

"Well shit," the little Stark uttered, making everyone turn their heads toward Tony as the three children made their way out of the common room.

"What can I say she takes after her father," Stark proudly said with an exaggerated shrug. "Continue, matey."

"I resent that," Fury shot back. "As I was saying, neoprene red and white suit, approaching employees and asking if they would like to lick his candy cane." As soon as the words flew out of Fury's mouth, Sam and Bucky broke out into fits of laughter, asking Loki if he could lend them some of his shamelessness.

You did your best to ignore the irrational white hot needles of jealously spearing through your heart at the unsurprising knowledge that yes, this meeting was about the god once again sexually propositioning anything and anyone with two legs. Of course he would constantly try with every single person he could come across. Of course he was never satisfied with whoever he brought to bed that weekend; hell, with the mental tally you kept, you found that a woman was lucky if she was even brought back for a second time.

It wasn't even like this behavior took you by surprise. Thor had once regaled you with stories of how virile his brother had been in the parties they had back in Asgard. How many princes, princesses, debutantes, and dignitaries he had corrupted in his chambers.

The blond Asgardian meant well, of course, only trying to get you all to see his brother as something more than the possessed version of himself that the initial 6 members fought back in 2012. His ridiculous stories even paved the way for you to be able to strike a conversation with the god of mischief when he did arrive on Earth, eventually giving you both the opportunity to be quite good friends.

And yet it still stung whenever you had to reconcile with the reality that that was your ceiling; that was all you'd ever be. The friend he could conspire with to play pranks on the rest of the team, the one he could drag along to try out restaurants that you just knew he was going to bring a date to as soon as you gave your thumbs up. The cuddle buddy at movie nights with the team where he'd get so bored he ended up asleep with his head resting on your shoulder.

You had all those parts of him that he never shared with any of those other people. That should be enough. That was enough.

Except for the days when you'd get constantly reminded that it meant you didn't have all of him. You simply got the rest of him when those people who shared his bed had concluded with getting the best of him. And today, with Fury holding over the threat of undergoing a two-day seminar on sexual harassment over the heads of every member of the team? Today was definitely one of those days.

"Director Fury, let me be the one to sincerely apologize for my brother's infractions. I assure you that we will not allow for this to happen again," Thor announced, walking over to Fury and clapping a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm holding you to this," he addressed the god, before turning his gaze to roam over everyone in the room. "All of you." And then he walked out of the room, shaking his head as his leather trench coat trailed behind him almost like a cape.

"Mischief, you idiot," you grumbled, storming up and out of your seat and marching toward the stairs. "Why did you have to do that in public?" You ignored the amused smirk on his face at how you chose to cap off your question. "I mean if you really wanted to seduce someone the red and white neoprene was not the way to go. You wanna seduce a chick? Show up in her bed with nothing but red ribbon wrapped around you like you're the goddamn present, and if you really insist on the candy cane thing then spiral the ribbon along the length of your--Wait hold the fuck up why am I enabling this??"

"Doll face, please keep enabling this," Bucky joked from his seat, earning glares from everyone in the room. "What? I mean I figured if I wanna up my game with beautiful women I should consult the most beautiful woman I know," he explained, motioning toward you. The honesty in his words brought a smile to your face without much effort. Why couldn't you just get over your stupid infatuation with your friend and go for someone who was actually outspoken in wanting to be with you?

"Alright," you relented with an exaggerated sigh. "Just for you, Sergeant." He leaned forward to make a show of him listening intently to your next words. "Find a way to sneak in music. If she's into the campiness of the holiday, then use one of those sexy sounding Christmas songs. And for fuck's sake, ready a drink or a snack or something. You both will be exhausted and she'll appreciate that you actually bothered to think about aftercare."

"And what about the ones who just wanna hump 'em and dump 'em like your bestie Mischief here?" Sam's words simultaneously caused Loki to let out a low grumbling sound in the veteran's direction, as well as unleashed a fit of cackles from you.

"Truly, darling?" Loki deadpanned, the slightest lilt in his voice toward the end.

"I mean you do have that reputation, Mischief," you said through your giggles. "But honestly, Sam? Do it anyway. Choose violence and ruin her for everyone else but you."

Your words broke the room out into raucous applause as you made a show of curtsying and blowing kisses to the other members of the team. "Now see here, if you actually took the time to listen to her, Jack Frost, then maybe Fury wouldn't have threatened us with a two-day seminar," Tony remarked, immediately returning your sour mood.

"Literally nobody here needs a two-day seminar on what constitutes as sexual harassment," you seethed, leaning against the nearby wall. "We know that when the pipi's shown without consent that counts. We know that if someone puts their hands on us or makes inappropriate comments when we've shown no tangible signs of attraction and interest, that that absolutely counts." You glared at the raven haired Asgardian who was currently approaching you slowly. "Loki if I have to sit through two days of people spelling out the exceedingly obvious to me because you couldn't keep it in your pants, I swear on you, Thor, and every other deity there is out there that I will cut someone--"

You words were cut off as the god tugged on your wrist and pulled you into his arms, his free hand cradling the back of your head. "I know. I know, darling, I'm sorry. I didn't realize it would hold consequences for you as well. It will not happen again."

"Agent Y/L/N, you should be out celebrating with your friends. At least your team. They're all already upstairs getting ready to exchange gifts. The paperwork can wait for the new year, I guarantee you everybody will be too drunk off their ass to even file them correctly. You'd be doing them a favor handing them in late."

You looked at Fury with an amused disbelief in your eyes. "Never thought you'd be a bad influence on us, Boss," you answered him with a chuckle. "I'm almost done anyway. I'll just…conveniently forget to turn it in until the first week of January."

"Atta girl. Oh, and before I forget, good job with Laufeyson."

Your brows knitted together in confusion. "Boss, I--I haven't worked with Loki on any missions for the last few months…"

"I'm talking about his behavior. I haven't heard any new complaints about him being a sleaze to anyone ever since that last time that I called you all in. Asked his brother about it and he just said that I 'have Y/N to thank for that'. So whatever you did, good work."

"You might not be saying that once you find out that all I did was tell him that if I ended up wasting away two perfectly good days parking my ass in a sexual harassment seminar that I would stab someone." Your words made him bellow in a fit of hearty laughs. "So really, whatever it is, it wasn't me. Wish I could tell you who to thank, though."

"Whatever you say, Y/L/N." Fury shrugged as he walked away from your desk. "Happy Holidays and all that."

"Happy Holidays," you mumbled as you finished up the last of the paperwork, putting the forms aside so that you could work on the tags for your presents to the team. You'd just begun to start on Wanda's gift when you saw movement coming toward your desk from the corner of your  eye. The silhouette was more than enough for you to surmise who it was.

"Darling, you should come upstairs." You kept at your gift tags as Loki kept approaching you, only stopping when he was in front of your desk. "I can only guard your plate for so long until my brother makes a play for it."

His jab at Thor had you chuckling quietly to yourself before you took a deep breath and returned to the lettering for Wanda's tag. "I'll be up in about twenty minutes, Mischief. Thanks." You looked up and the sight before you had you using all your strength not to make it known that your heart had dropped and shattered to the ground.

He was holding two rolls of red ribbon. One about two inches thick, the other less than half an inch thick. You were immediately brought back to your conversation with him a few weeks ago, about what he would do if he really wanted to seduce someone. He followed your gaze to the items in his hand and gave you a sheepish smile. "Let it be known I always listen to perfectly sound advice, dear Y/N," he said with a playful wink as he walked away from your desk. "I'll see you upstairs."

"Good luck," you blurted out, forcing a contrived smile onto your face as he turned around to look at you. "Whoever she is, I'm sure she'll love it." He simply  answered you with a devastatingly brilliant smile as he walked into the elevator; you waited until the doors closed before you allowed the tears to start welling in your eyes, not bothering to even wipe them away as they rolled down your cheeks.

Half an hour later you were heading up to the little party that Stark threw together for the team, your presents for each of them placed under the tree and you dressed up in an A-line tea-length dress with spaghetti straps set in a deep green rather than the more traditional and predictable poinsettia red.

"Lady Y/N!" You turned around to see Thor already halfway through a glass of whatever liquor his massive mug held. "Quite the choice of attire for tonight. I'm positive my brother would be more than flattered." He motioned toward your dress, the knowledge that you were currently wearing Loki's colors only now making itself known to you and quickly sinking into a feeling of utter mortification. "Ohh! And it is quite fortunate that I found you so early in the night; my brother told me that if I were to see you, I am to tell you that  he will not be attending this party as he is preparing a present…?"

"Yeah, I know about the present, Thunder." His eyes lit up in a strange mixture of excitement and fear. "He passed by my desk earlier and he was holding rolls of ribbon. He's the present. He's off to seduce some Midgardian girl. Lucky bitch." You finished your sentence with a huff, tilting your head toward the ceiling and willing yourself not to start tearing up in front of Thor; he wasn't nearly drunk enough to forget this yet.

"Oh no…" he signed, lightly placing a hand on your shoulder. "My friend, surely by now you know--"

"You know what? I'm over it," you blurted out, throwing your hands up in surrender. "He can do whatever he wants, he's a big boy he can take care of himself." You placed your hand over his. "Happy Holidays, Thunder."

A few minutes of picking at the food on your plate decided your course of action for the night. And none of it involved staying with the team as they merrily exchanged their presents and got so drunk off their asses that they'd be unable to take care of themselves in the morning. You declared yourself the designated caretaker to the children and the team tomorrow and began the journey back to your apartment.

"Babes!" You turned around to find Natasha and Wanda arm in arm, drinks in hand. "You're leaving already?" You nodded at them. "Nooooo but you just got here and you look hot and we haven't even exchanged presents yet."

"I'm not in the partying mood, Babes," you answered with a sad smile. "I'll only be a downer. You all go open presents without me I'll probably just bully Thor into gathering mine for me so I can open them in my apartment tomorrow or something."

"Really? Not Loki?" Wanda queried, slurring her words and swaying slightly in Nat's hold.

The bitterness seeped into your heart again as you answered, "He's not here tonight. Too busy getting busy. Probably with someone from Operations or where the fuck ever."

"But I thought--"

"Wan, it's fine," Nat cut off the sorceress. "Y/N, Babes, you don't have to stay if you're not feeling up to it. We'll see you in the morning." They both approached you and wrapped you into a stumbling embrace. "Besides, at least one person in the unholy trinity should be sober in the morning to take care of the others' hungover asses."

"Carbo load," you told them simply. "There's a tray of pasta in the catering table, I checked. And if that's not enough, I'll see about making you two some grilled cheeses after the party wraps up."

"You're the best," Wanda sighed, resting her head on your shoulder. "Merry ho ho."

You couldn't help but let out a laugh as you pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Merry ho ho, Wanda." Nat helped pull her off of you so that could continue heading up to your apartment. Once you were only a few more meters away from home, your phone rang. A look at the Caller ID had your heart pumping erratically. Loki.

"Just in case no one's told you yet, darling," he spoke once you answered the call. "You look resplendent. Absolutely regal."

You scoffed into the phone, rolling your eyes at his words. "You're not even here, Mischief. I could be wearing a potato sack for all you know."

"And even then my words would still ring true."

Dammit, why did he have to make it so hard to not love him?Life would be so much easier if those words didn't hit me right in the heart. You sighed at his usual brand of what you lovingly referred to as "friendzone flirting". "So that was fast," you commented, your poor attempt at steering the conversation toward him and far away from you.

"What was?"

"Your seduction," you said as plainly as you could manage. "I know what that ribbon was for, Mischief. Don't even think about placing that back in the gift wrapping stock when you're done with it."

"Not quite," he answered you with a light laugh. "See, it hasn't begun yet."

You could feel what little food you had at the party start to come up at his implication. So he was calling you before he fucked his latest conquest because what? Why? Because he was bored waiting for her to put on her lingerie that he was gonna snap of anyways?

"Where are you, Y/N?" he asked with an even voice, as if he were almost cooing.

"Walking back to my apartment.  Actually scratch that. I'm right at the door," you answered as you unlocked the front door. When you were finally inside, you were taken aback at the sight of a golden drinks trolley by the entry table, containing two mugs, a jar of what you assumed was powdered sugar, a box that said Harry & David Hot Cocoa Bombs, and little containers of marshmallows, candy canes, and a little cinnamon shaker. "What the--"

"I used my key to your apartment to place my present for you." Something in his tone made it obvious to you that he was nervous about this.

"You got me a hot cocoa bar? That's--Damn, Mischief, I don't know what to say--"

"That's not quite the present, darling," he cut you off. "That's for after."

"After?" You walked toward your bedroom, ready to just kick off your heels and soak in the tub until you felt your unwarranted heartache melt away. "After what?"

Something from his end made you stop in your tracks. You could hear a woman's voice from his end, which was expected. What wasn't expected what that the voice…was yours.

"Loki, where are you?" you asked shakily, your heart beginning to pound in your chest as your brain tried to reconcile what you thought was happening. You pressed your ear to your door, dreading both the answer and what you would hear from your bedroom.

"Laying in bed, darling." Your free hand clutched at your chest as you heard his voice both from the phone pressed to your ear and from the door. He was there. "Truthfully my plans for tonight were not to seduce another nameless faceless Midgardian whose face I would end up enchanting in order for them to resemble the visage of the one I truly wish to share my bed."

"Really now?" you breathed out, your mind running a mile at minute at his words. At what they implied. "And what exactly were your plans for tonight, Mischief?"

"To lay out my heart to the woman who owns it, as well as my body if she'll have me. See, she and everyone around us have this image of me that I am a philanderer, and I fear that even if I tell her the truth of my whorish ways that she would simply choose to not believe me. I would understand. After all, it would not be so easy to believe that in my mind I have only ever been with her, that as I mentioned earlier I enchant the faces of those I lay with so that my eyes see her face looking up at me instead of an insignificant stranger's. That I love her beyond comprehension and seeing the obvious pain in her eyes the last few weeks as she looked upon me have felt like someone had taken my own daggers to my heart and twisted the blade. I knew I had to make right the wrongs I hadn't even been aware I'd done."

"Loki--"

"Open the door, darling. Please." You could hear his voice wavering as he said the words. "Let me see you."

You took a deep breath as you clutched your door handle, bracing yourself for whatever sight may greet you. Though you already knew what you would see: His godly form bared and wrapped in a festive red ribbon. Like a present.

Your present.

The image of him performing the over the top gesture in your imagination, however, was nothing compared to seeing said gesture with your own eyes. He truly was one of those exceptions wherein reality surpassed fantasy.

You steeled your expression into one of feigned indifference, one that he absolutely saw right through but you did it regardless, as your eyes roamed his sculpted physique, the red ribbon wrapped intricately around his torso that would come off in a dramatic flourish with one tug at the bow settled on the center of his chest. And attached to the thicker ribbon wrapped around him was the thinner ribbon leading to--

Goddamn he really did it. Candy cane dick.

"You look so divine it would put all the goddesses in Olympus and Asgard alike to shame," he spoke softly. You instinctively looked away to prevent yourself from any rash decisions when his eyes roamed over your body and you saw the candy cane twitch.

"And you look ridiculous," you choked out, your voice not even holding a shred of conviction. A lie so bad you may as well have worn a neon red sign saying This bitch lying.

He held out his hand towards you, beckoning you to him. "Come here and unwrap your present then, my love."

Your knees buckled at his words. "Your love," you echoed, though your tone was so laced with doubt that it sounded more like a question than anything else. When you reached your bed and placed your hand in his he sat up on the bed and pulled your hand toward him, placing a kiss on your knuckles.

"Yes," he answered you with a soft smile, his eyes looking up at you with such veneration it stole whatever breath you had left in your lungs. He placed his hands on either side of your body as he pulled you close enough so that he could press several kisses to your clothed stomach. "It's you, darling. Since the moment your eyes met mine."

His hands traveled down to the sides of your thighs, guiding you to rest your knees on either side of him on the bed, straddling his hips. Once your faces were level, you could see so clearly the emotions swimming in his eyes as he leaned forward to press a soft kiss to your cheek, so gently it was almost as if he were afraid you'd break.

"Then why all those--"

"I valued your company too much that I dared not risk it simply because I desired your body," he explained in hushed tones, as if he was confessing to you, as if they were words of contrition. "You were too precious for me to lose to my own lust. And so whenever I felt the urge to shatter our friendship, I would find another to unleash those desires upon. It mattered not who. Even when I would deceive my own eyes I knew it would never be enough, and--"

"And in the process of finding another after another with the intention of preserving our friendship, you instead shattered me," you cut him off, your bottom lip quivering and your heart breaking with the effort you were exerting to not sob and yell your words out. "Every. Single. Time." He pulled away to look into your eyes, already brimming with unshed tears threatening to escape. Your next words barely came out a whisper. "I can't. I refuse to be another notch in your bedpost."

"You won't be," he pleaded, brushing the tips of his fingers lightly across your cheek. "I love you, Y/N. You are all I would ever desire. All I have ever desired since the moment we met."

You placed your hands on his shoulders, bracing yourself both physically and emotionally for the next words you were about to let out. "I love you, Loki." The smile on his face was so blindingly brilliant and rife with relief as he leaned in with the clear intent of pressing his lips to yours; however, you pushed back against his shoulders, earning you a confused look from the god. "If we do this, the sleeping around stops. Okay? Because I won't share you—"

He silenced you by pulling you towards him, your chests flush against each other, claiming your lips in a kiss that oozed of yearning and ages of repressed love. The moment you opened your mouth to him and your tongues met, you both sighed into each other's mouths in audible contentment. "I am yours, my love," he panted as he pulled away. "All of me. I do not intend to be shared, just as I have no intentions of sharing you if you would be mine."

His. That sounded like a dream. A beautiful fantasy too blissful to be true. "Yours…" You tested the word on your tongue as if it was such a foreign concept. "I'd like that," you said softly as you ran your hands along his shoulders, traveling down to his chest and the bow situated in its center, a loving smile stretching across his face as you did so. "So…if I tug on this it all comes falling off?" 

He placed his hand over yours, placing a tender kiss on your neck before whispering against your skin, "We need not go further if you're not ready to be intimate with me yet. We could stay doing exactly what we were just moments ago for the rest of  and I would be content. Because it's you. I am finally with you." He traced his lips along your jaw and up back to your mouth, claiming it once again in a soft kiss. "Only when you are ready, tell me. Or tug on the end of the bow and—"

"Yeah you can save the speech, Mischief. I'm ready," you cut him off, pulling at the end of the bow and watching the ribbon unravel with a dramatic flourish down to the bed. "I love you, and I want you to make me yours." His smile turned mischievous as he pulled the entirety of the ribbon off and away from him, his hands then returning to your thighs, skimming under the hem of your dress. "You're not pretending anymore," you cooed.

"And yet a fraction of this reality with you is worlds better than any illusion I'd ever conjured." His words sounded so reverent that they alone sent a rush of arousal pooling between your legs, worsening the state of your already drenched panties. His hands inched up slowly, hiking up the bottom of your dress along the way. He looked at you with an uncharacteristically timidity in his eyes, as if he was asking for permission. "May I?"

His hesitation unleashed something you could only describe as desperate in you. Desperate for more of his touch. His kisses. That lust he'd mentioned earlier that he didn't want to risk losing you to. You wanted him to lose himself to that desire now. Craved it, even. Your words from weeks ago echoed in your mind, a wicked grin playing at the corners of your mouth as they came to the forefront of your thoughts.

You wanted to ruin him. For everyone else but you. And vice versa.

As if he hadn't already ruined you the moment you walked in and spotted him all wrapped up like the best Christmas present you'd ever receive for the rest of your days.

You ran your hands down the length of his arms, hooking them under the bunched up hem of your dress and pulling the garment over your head, haphazardly throwing it down to the floor, joining the ribbon. His eyes lit up as his gaze roamed all the newly exposed skin to him, immediately leaning forward and pressing his lips to the skin above your heart and proceeding to trace the outline of your bra with his lips. "No more pretending," he breathed out, the slightly cool air of his exhalation chilling your heated skin by the slightest.

"No more pretending," you echoed with a satisfied grin pulling at your mouth. You brought your hands to his shoulders once more, urging him to look at you. Once he did you pressed a fevered kiss to his lips before groaning against him, "But I want you to fuck me as if you were."

Loki pulled your hips flush against his, both of you letting out an obscene moan as your drenched clothed core made contact with his hardened member. "No," he growled, reaching behind you to undo your bra, the undergarment falling unceremoniously to the ground and joining your dress. "Perhaps another night, my darling." He maneuvered your bodies until you were laying down on the bed, him hovering over you and looking up at you through his lashes. "This is not something that deserves to be over in minutes."

"Minutes?" you huffed in utter shock and disbelief. "What happened, they tap out?"

"Frustration on my part," he answered you simply, beginning to trail kisses across your collarbone and down your chest. "Because despite my greatest efforts my mind could not be deceived. They weren't you. None of them were you." He went on a path down your body, briefly taking each of your nipples into his mouth and laving his tongue over the stiffened peak, down your stomach, and stopping at your mound. "I can tell you now, my love, that this will not last for mere minutes. I intend to take my time with you."

As soon as he said those words, you let out a sharp gasp as he so effortlessly snapped apart the sides of your panties and pulled the fabric off of your body, proceeding to place your thighs on his shoulders and lift you off the bed. Just enough that your shoulders and upper back were still laying flat, but also enough that it would take great effort for you to find the leverage to squirm away from him if you wanted to.

You twisted your body in his hold so much that he seemingly casually laid his forearm across your lower stomach as he continued to subject you to wave after wave of relentless pleasure, steadily ramping you up to an orgasm that threatened to leave you boneless. "Oh my darling," he groaned against your skin, the vibrations from his voice sending a delicious thrill throughout your entire body. "I could devour you for hours."

The whimper that escaped your mouth felt so uncharacteristic for you. Then again everything about tonight felt unfamiliar to some degree. "Loki," you whined, prompting him to close his lips around your clit and flick his tongue mercilessly against the overly sensitive bundle of nerves, and letting out a scandalous moan against the desperately over-sensitized nub that send you over the edge. You screamed his name as your back arched off the bed, the haze of your climax making you only vaguely aware of how he held you still as you rode out your release on his tongue.

He set your legs back down on the bed and you were thankful for the reprieve, allowing you a few moments to catch your breath; however, the rest was short lived, as he gripped your hips and pulled you toward him until your ass sat atop his thighs, and he placed a hand under your back to prop you up and face him, pulling you in for a kiss so deliciously carnal as your tongues tangled together and you could taste yourself on him.

"I love you," he panted once he pulled away, bringing his hand down between you and lining his cock up at your entrance. He wrapped his other arm around you and held you close, pressing his lips softly along your neck and shoulder as you eased yourself onto him inch by inch, biting your lip as you felt the mixture of pain and pleasure as your walls stretched to accommodate him.

He moaned against your neck once you'd fully sheathed him inside of you, the backs of your thighs resting deliciously on the tops of his. You laid your hand on his chest as the other wrapped around the back of his neck, doing your best to move and set a pace for you both but even the slightest shift sent rippling shocks of pleasure all over your body that all you could do was rest your head against his shoulder and desperately whimper his name time and time again.

Those whimpers quickly became moans as he held your hips firmly and began to guide your body up and down along his length, capturing your lips in a desperate, nearly harsh kiss that proved effective in muffling the tell-tale screams of pleasure being elicited from both of you.

What started as a tender, sensual pace quickly turned frenzied as you both began to chase each other's pleasure, your hips finally moving of their own accord and allowing his hands to roam your body, his lips doing much of the same. When your paces grew staggered he moved you to lie back on the bed, your back once again flat against the mattress, and he hooked your legs around his waist as he drove into you mercilessly.

"Please," you cried out, feeling the coil tightening in your lower stomach once again. "I don't think--"

"Oh you can, my love," he countered you as he pressed his lips to your shoulder in a sloppy open mouthed kiss, your brain fogging once more as you felt him flicking his tongue against your skin, and his hand moving between you to start rubbing tight circles on the swollen bud. "Come with me," he coaxed as he proceeded to kiss along the shell of your ear, your moans echoing around your bedroom as his thrusts became slower, but harder.

Your legs shook with how hard your climax hit you, not even thinking you could manage it since you'd never done it before, but it truly didn't take you by surprise that Loki had managed to do just that as he somehow hit every sweet spot inside of you with every move. He reached his own peak as your walls clenched around him, his hips jerking against yours as he finally reached his release inside of you.

"You know, if I'm gonna be honest, I would've thought that you would've gone for the gold ribbon," you told Loki as you two were sat at the little kitchen island in your apartment, both of you nursing your own mug of hot cocoa as the god held your calf in his free hand, his thumb gently stroking your skin. "I know we had some in the stock room last I checked."

"Well, my darling, you would be correct. But when I arrived at the stock room earlier today someone else had already taken the gold. That was when I knew I had to hasten my steps, make it here before…" he trailed off.

"Before what?" you asked with a chuckle.

He took a deep breath before placing his mug down and reaching over to take yours from your hand, setting it down as well, before he pulled you back onto his lap and captured your lips in a kiss that felt both possessive and desperate all at once. "This does mean that you are mine now, dear Y/N. Yes?" he asked when he pulled away, shock flooding your system when you saw the vulnerability in his eyes as he said the words.

"Of course," you breathed out, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips. "You're stuck with me now, Mischief."

"I would have it no other way, my love." He wrapped his arms around you, one of his hands reaching up to weave his fingers through your hair. "Y/N before I made it to your apartment, I'd heard that one of the men on our team was trying to find a way into your apartment to follow the advice you'd given us weeks ago as well."

That reveal had taken you aback, your eyes widening as your brain tried to process the new information. "I'll be honest, Loki. If I walked in here and found someone else ribbon-clad in my bed I would've kicked them out. Walk of shame style. Tonight wouldn't have ended the way it did if it wasn't you."

Those words made him pull you in for another kiss, sighing into your mouth as he pulled you even closer to him, your bodies completely flush against each other.

"I'm glad you got the red, though," you said, a wicked smile pulling at the corners of your mouth as he looked at you with confusion rife in his icy stare. "I liked the candy cane look on you." You struggled to move away from him as he trapped you in his arms, proceeding to tickle your sides and render you into a giggling mess.

"My beautiful little menace," he chuckled as his onslaught ceased, pressing a kiss to your cheek. "Do you not even wish to know who it was that would have walked in shame out of your apartment had you found him instead?"

"You know what…I kinda am…mostly because I want to picture their walk of shame in gold ribbon. Who was it?"

You broke out into another fit of laughter, your body shaking uncontrollably as he held you against him as soon as he uttered the name. "Barnes."

A/N: Omg I'm so happy to finally finish this story and finish off the idea that's been running around my brain since Monday 😂 "Candy Cane Dick" story is finally done. SAS, if you know you know 😏

Everything tag list: @lokisgoodgirl @lokischambermaid @imalovernotahater @mygfloki @lucylaufeyson3 @thomase1 @springdandelixn @fictive-sl0th @mochie85 @laliceee @xorpsbane @gigglingtigger @silverfire475 @cabingrlandrandomcrap @vickie5446 @salempoe @lokixryss @sinsandguilt @lokidbadguy @alexakeyloveloki @glitterylokislut @arch-venus25 @freefrommars @littlemortals @cakesandtom @girl-of-multi-fandoms @mischief2sarawr @thedistractedagglomeration @five-miles-over @goblingirlsarah @peaches1958 @huntress-artemiss @lilibet261 @iobsessoverfictionalmen @holymultiplefandomsbatman @lovingchoices14 @avoliax @devilsadvocactus @purplegrrl27 @lokiprompts @sititran @imherefortomhiddleston @ladyjames78 @stupidthoughtsinwriting @kikster606 @evelyn-kingsley @kats72 @ronnieissupermegafoxyawesomehot @creationsbyme @coldnique

[0alanasworld0]

Dedication (Hakim Ziyech x reader) *request

Request: "Hakim Ziyech X wife!reader where everyone just loves them together and he dedicates his goal at the WC to her..."

Pt2 - Perseverance

Warnings: none

Hakim had no intentions of returning to the Moroccan national team. He loved his country and teammates with all his heart but couldn’t bear the risk of being so poorly treated as he once was. After everything he gave up the last time: his money, his time, his own wellbeing and all for Halilhodžić to treat him as a scapegoat for the losses. He never caught a break, not during the training in the build-up to the 2018 tournament nor during the world cup itself. It was hell and he had much less distressing means of making a living. 

He had to admit, there were moments where he felt drawn to return again. When he saw Zakaria score his first ever goal for Morocco during a friendly. When he saw little Ounahi come out of his shell and use the very tricks he had shown him. He could feel goosebumps on the comfort of his home couch when he saw the Moroccan crowd chant his name, hoping and praying for his return. Thousands of miles away, he could still feel it. And he would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t want to come back. 

You always made an effort to hide your phone whenever you checked in on those games. He would tell you he didn’t mind but you knew that his national team was a soft spot for him. It broke his heart to leave, albeit with very good reasons, and the last thing you wanted to do was remind him of what he was missing. However, you weren’t always successful in this regard. You were cuddling together as you scrolled through tiktok and this was something you couldn’t control. Hakim happened to be looking over your shoulder for that one tiktok. A short clip of the chanting, followed by the commentary of some annoying armchair analyst about the goings on. He bit his lip, looking down. 

“I’m so sorry, my love I-”

“No no, don’t apologise! I’m fine, I swear!” he reassures you, giving you a tight hug and kissing your cheek. He continues to sit for a few minutes before opting to get a glass of water. He stayed there for a second to gather his thoughts, mind wandering to his team again. How are they all? Are they taking breaks between sessions? Are they being treated well? Did they celebrate after yesterday’s win? His thoughts are all over the place but he pushes it all aside. It's a rare rest day and he intends on spending every minute of every hour with you in his arms.

The national team fiasco leaves his mind soon after returning to you as you watch some of your favourite videos together.

He’s sleeping soundly, an arm draped around your waist as his head lays in the crook of your neck. The peaceful moment is interrupted by his phone vibrating on the bedside table. You shift and groan in confusion and he kisses your neck, lulling you to sleep once more as he grabs his phone. Which idiot is calling him this late? What stupid situation has Mason got himself into this time?

He’s utterly baffled by the name displayed on the screen. They talk all the time but the timing is utterly bizarre.

“Yassine, my friend. You’re treading on very thin ice.” hakim grumbles, looking back over at you to make sure you’re still asleep.

“Well thank Allah that I'm thousands of miles away (!)” Hakim pinches the bridge of his nose, Yassine is undeniably a wonderful friend but this is unusual behaviour from him and Hakim doesn’t like it.

“Great conversation. I look forward to our next 3am rambling session, bye now-”

“Wait no hold on. Look, I overheard a little conversation the coach was having with the governing body…”

“The ice is cracking, Yassine.”

“Okay okay look, I think he’s about to be replaced. Yesterday’s match may have gone well but they seem to think he’s not the right person for the job in the long-term.”

“It took those geniuses long enough to figure that one out.”

“You’re telling me. You should have seen coach yell at Abde after the match for joining that chant.”

“I’m assuming you yelled back?”

“Naturally.”

“Taking after me then? At this rate, you’re all going to be kicked off.”

“With that amoeba in charge, we’ve all been considering it anyway. BUT if there’s a new coach…”

“You all stand a much better chance!”

“Yeah I was hoping the ‘you’ could change to a ‘we’”

“Yassine, I can’t”

“You said you loved this team and coach was standing in the way last time. You were right to leave and we all understand that completely. What's stopping you with a new coach? We all still adore you, y’know?”

“Look, we don’t even know if this is real yet! I don’t want to get our hopes up.”

“Well when the news does come out, know that the offer is going to be on the table. We need you, Hakim. Tell me that you’ll think about it, at least.”

“IF the news is real, I’ll consider it.” Hakim can almost hear Yassine smile at that but furrows his eyebrows. He thinks he can hear some mumbling in the background.

“Yassine, are there people with you- wait Yousef?”

“Okay good talk, man. See you soon! Give the missus our my salam!” the dial tone sounds, indicating that Yassine has hung up the call and had put him on speaker for the rest of the team who were almost certainly sitting right there with him. A small smile makes its way onto his face at the thought of his own team anticipating his return. He turns to look at you, your mouth slightly twitching into a smile and eyes fluttering as you struggle to feign sleep.

“I know you’re awake, my love.” He whispers, smile widening as he tickles you. You shriek with laughter, moving onto your back as he moves to lay by your side, elbow propped up with his head resting on his hand. He can see the excitement in your eyes, not necessarily for yourself but you know that his mind wanders to question his decision. Could he have handled it? The answer was no and he did the right thing for himself but a new opportunity now hangs in the air, one that could return him to his beloved team again.

“It might not even be real, I don't want to get our hopes up.”

“You’re right but it doesn’t hurt to consider the outcomes, no?”

“I suppose…” He sees you struggling to keep your eyes open and smiles softly. Whatever happens, at least he has his beautiful wife there with him. You were with him when he quit the team, holding him as he stressed about whether he was making a huge mistake. You were his rock throughout those first few months after the news broke out. When some old fans turned on him for a perceived lack of loyalty, when his ex “coach” was mouthing off about him to the press, when he cried at the idea of his teammates being resentful of the decision. He’s so happy he married you. You were his oasis amongst all the stresses of his career. 

“We should probably sleep, my love.” You hum softly in agreement.

He lays on his back and carefully rolls you over so that you lay your head on his chest. His eyes fluttering to a close. Hopefully this time, the sleep will be without interruptions.

“I gave Walid your number by the way.”

“Of course you did, Nayef. I expect no less from any of you.” Hakim sighs. He pretends to be annoyed but secretly, everytime one of them indicates a desire for his return, he’s a step closer to booking a flight, walking into the stadium and training with everyone like nothing happened. But he holds off and waits. doubts still race through his mind and the memories of the last experience serve to continue his hesitancy.

Hours later, Walid Regragui himself has texted Hakim and organised a Zoom meeting to discuss future plans.

He genuinely doesn’t know what to think. Would the governing body just pick a Halilhodžić 2.0?  For all he knows, this could all just be history repeating itself

Hakim takes a deep breath, mumbling a prayer before entering the call. He’s met with a very friendly looking face with a beaming smile, already promising…

“Ah, Hakim! What an honour to meet you!” Hakim smiles at that, he feels good about this.

“Likewise! The team has said many good things about you already!”

“I’m glad to hear that, it's a promising team and I have real faith in all of them. Listen, I’m not going to beat around the bush with this. We need you on the team.”

Everyone’s prayers have been answered. Hakim makes his reappearance during one of the final qualifier matches, having trained with the team since mid-August. It was a huge relief for everyone to see him again and his friends were ecstatic to have their team feel complete after so long. The crowd went wild at his entrance. Of course they had known for a while now but seeing him in the flesh was a different experience. The electricity of the crowd only served to energise the team and allowed for a picture perfect victory. Hakim is ecstatic and the first thing he wants is to celebrate with you so he turns to forming a heart with his hands towards you. your friends are cheering as they tease you a little bit. you blush at the gesture and return it as the crowd cheer for the pair of you.

This was definitely the right decision.

He’s pacing around the hotel room.

“Anything could happen, habibi. Imagine if we lost to Canada!” The pacing clearly isn’t helping his mind when you stand, placing a hand on his back and guiding him to sit down on the bed. You gently turn his head so he’s looking at you and kiss him softly. He immediately relaxes as he cups your cheek with his hand. You pull away for breath but he brings you back in for another shortly after, his other hand moving to wrap around your waist to pull you closer. When he needs to pull away for breath, he keeps his forehead on yours and his eyes stay closed. 

“You guys had Croatia on the ropes, Canada is nothing. Yassine said no to them anyway.” He smiles at that but the worry returns once more.

“You see, that's how they trick you! And then you end up losing to Saudi Arabia in your opening match!” you laugh and he furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

“Last I checked, the teams that care about every match as much as you end up doing exactly what's expected. So long as you don’t treat this match like a chance to poke fun at the other side, you’re gonna be okay, inshallah.” he hums in vague agreement.

“Do you think I made the right decision in coming back?”

“My love, I haven't seen you so happy playing football in a long time. This team clearly makes you happy and that's enough for me.”

“I thought I was supposed to be the one with the words.” so gently smack his arm at that. You have a good feeling about the upcoming days and that's all you can really say.

The hours have finally passed, after spending your time exploring the streets of Qatar, buying some gifts for family on the way while Hakim has his final training sessions with the team, you and hakim;s mother manage to find your seats in the stadium. You’re slightly concerned and hope that his worries in the morning have dissipated. Your seat is fairly close to the barrier so you can discern some faces, smiling widely as you see your husband in his starting position, focussed as ever.

It's a couple of minutes into the match and the Moroccan attack is already decimating the Canadian defence. The ball is passed to Hakim who performs one of his signature crosses and makes an extremely risky attempt. The angle is tight and the goalkeeper appears to be moving in the right direction. You’re frozen in place as you keep your eye on the ball.

Your reaction is delayed until you hear the crowd explode into cheers, chanting Hakim’s name just as they did upon begging for his return. You manage to make eye contact with him as tears begin to form and you blow him a kiss, the people around you are baffled by the weirdly intimate gesture. It all becomes clear as the giant monitors display the cameras which are all focussed on one player. Hakim makes eye contact with you to the best of his ability as he kisses his wedding ring and forms a heart with his hands. Hakim’s mother nudges your shoulder teasingly as you hide your face in your hands while the crowd relish a short glimpse into your love for each other. He can't hold in his excitement. And to think that without your reassurance and encouragement, he may not have even come. 

Once the final whistle is finally blown, the players are all immediately rushing to their families. Morocco have finally made it to the knockout stages, all while topping group F. 

Hakim can't wait until everyone has left, as he’s bursting with excitement. So, he jumps the barrier, making a beeline to hug his mum and then you in the tightest, most comfortable embrace. the crowd erupting into cheers at the sweetness of it all. Neither of you care about the cameras that have managed to capture the moment of intimacy you both shared. It's nothing unusual for the two of you from the glimpses Hakim shares into your relationship online. Its very clear that the two of you are made for each other. You feel your shoulder is slightly damp as the pair of you soak in the glorious moment.

“Everything okay, my love?” you whisper, a hand rubbing circles on his back.

“Just glad that I'm back.” you both laugh quietly, you can vaguely hear his friends whoop and cheer from the field and you swear you can hear Yassine thanking you for joining in with the pestering and you roll your eyes playfully. He reluctantly lets go, pressing a kiss to your cheek before making his way back to the bunker.

The journey back home in the taxi is in a comfortable silence, the smiles haven’t left your faces. Your hands are intertwined and your head is resting on his shoulder. 

The second you open the door to the hotel room, he kicks his shoes off and flops onto the bed dramatically. You snicker at his antics as you open the suitcases, looking for a shirt to sleep in. As you retrieve it, you look up to notice that hakim has already curled up under the blankets, scrolling through his phone at the edits he can't wait to show you. You quickly change as you jump in with him. His arms are immediately wrapped around your body, pulling you flush against him.

"People are quick with these huh?" you say, dumbfounded as you go through edit after edit. people have found and stitched old videos of you together, interviews, voiceovers from things he's said, photos from his instagram and you honestly commend the effort. Even you had forgotten about some of these, slightly embarrassed at how obvious the two of you were making the relationship. You at least remembered why the secret relationship was revealed so quickly.

"To say the least, it's only been a couple of hours!" you laugh as you continue to look through the hashtag people have created for you.

You grow bored of this so you put your phone back on the bedside table and turn to Hakim. You both admire each other for a second, gently tracing the other's features in silent admiration. The look he was giving you had your heart beating quickly, even after all this time. The softness they held made you feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Those edits really aren't that far off on the effect he has on you, as much as you hate to admit.

“Thank you all for pestering me so much about coming back.”

“It's what we’re here to do” you laugh quietly together before calling it a night and falling into a peaceful slumber wrapped in each other's arms.

idk how i feel about this one but i hope you enjoy anyway, my loves xx

[hotpinkstaples]

Hey so I'm interested in writing for bartkon week, but I like doing frankly excessive research on characters before I try writing them...and honestly I don't really want to read all of SB94, impulse and YJ just to get a handle on what I'm doing, that's a lot even for me. I know some general stuff about the both of them, but not to the point where I'm like "Ah yes, I understand the soul of the matter" So I was wondering if there were like any specific arcs or points of characterization that I could read through to get the dynamic right?

shfkjdsfd ngl, I'm the worst person to ask bc my romance with BartKon didn't even start with BartKon....... it started with Clark/Bart from Smallville 😭😭😭 I'm exceptionally weak for Kryptonian/Speedster romances, but whereas Clark/Bart was the gateway, Bart/Kon is where my heart resides. And I don't ship any other Kryptonians with Speedster. Literally just Clart from Smallville and BartKon from the comics. Just giving you context so you don't think I'm some subject matter expert with a phd in BartKononomics ...... I am just a lady in her thirties who has carboard boxes full of sb/imp/yj singles cuz Clart made her Feel Things when she was a kid and she decided to Do Something about it (aka read comics).

BUT TO YOUR QUESTIONS!

If you want a high level overview of the ship, @radioactive-earthshine's KonBart Manifesto is a great place to start. It has the ship's Best Highlights, and really sums up why there is a small but dedicated fanbase to it. Dedicated enough that I broke my near-ten year cold turkey of mainline DC comics because my main man Bendis put BartKon back on the map while I was living my life blissfully unaware that DC had even hired Bendis to begin with and that the Diamond distro monopoly died. I was shocked. Still am. Two things I never thought would happen in my lifetime.

Now to understand the soul of Bart and Kon.... you're gonna have to look at that things that don't really have Bart and Kon on the same page. Part of the reason why BartKon Speaks to Me is because their relationship progression over the year directly ties back to their individual growth as characters.

So reading material 1: In Impulse, Bart starts off as the speedster equivalent of a feral bobcat, but slowly progresses into an empathetic, understanding, and an overall Good Man. Much of his story deals with the harsh realities of simply growing up different. Running theme of Imp fandom is that Mark Waid created and wrote an autist with ADHD without meaning too, and by Allah he sure did. It's fascinating because Bart harbors both grief and rage due to his predicaments, and the adults in his life are incredibly unkind (even if they are well-meaning), so Impulse has always been, in my understanding, the slice-of-life that really helps Bart to come of age into a Man and a Great Hero. You don't have to read the whole series, but if you can read at least the first twenty or so issues, you'll find yourself rooting for the little man and see how he shines in terms of empathy, understanding, love, and dealing with unresolved rage/grief/loss.

Reading material 2: Superboy is a trick and a half because it deals with issues of child neglect, grooming, the allegory of child star exploitation, and so on and so forth. The BartKon implications are There, but the reason why Superboy is incredibly important is because Superboy as a character is more than just his parentage. Contrary to popular belief, Geoff is NOT the main man in this story. Reading even just the first twenty issues of Superboy will show you Kon was failed by most of the adults in his life, and Superman is NOT his villain. Or the root of his daddy issues. Bro didn't even have a name until much later. If you wanna know who Superboy REALLY was before the Geoffian Era, you can read the first twenty odd issues. If you wanna go earlier, you could read his parts in Reign of the Supermen, just to get an understanding as to why he HAD to be the way he was during this time.

Reading material 3: I do not recommend reading all of YJ 98 for the BartKon bc YJ 98 is hijinks fun. It's GREAT reading for absurdist and comical situations, but only really works with context from Impulse and Superboy to get to the BartKon heart of it all. Not to say YJ 98 wouldn't give you the BartKon goodness, it sure does, but the soul doesn't come together if you don't get how Bart evolved in Impulse and how terribly Kon was treated in Superboy. You can read really anything in YJ to have fun with the group, but if you wanna fast track, you can read the last twenty or so issues and Titans/Young Justice Graduation Day.

Reading material 4: The Geoffian era..... I wouldn't wish Teen Titans 2003 on my worse enemy. Funniest thing is that at the time, I was just starting to watch Smallville. In love with Smallville!Bart already, I embarked on my Superboy journey.... had mixed feelings, so I stuck mostly to the 90's content. Ended up reading impulse a decade later, but long story short.... the Geoffian Era set a Tone and Direction for Bart and Kon that never sit well with me. There IS story there, if you are interested in reading about Daddy Issues, Masculine Identity, and a shit ton of other stuff that really pulled Kon away from his roots and made him more of a Emotionally Tortured Super. If that floats your boat, you may enjoy it. You can read a handful of comics from this era. Just know that in the end, he suffers anyway, just in an ugly ass outfit. The only real bit I'd recommend forreal forreal is when he dies. His whole arc in the Geoffian Era really just tells us he doesn't know how to live and thus he... dies. It's sad bc the writers before him despite having tortured Kon relentlessly, never really made him so...... hopeless.

Reading material 5: Flashpoint.... Bart dies, but I personally did not feel much for him because Bart didn't feel like Bart in the end, but yeah, he kicks it. This is where I pretty much kicked DC to the side too, minus the mistake that was reading RHATO. You can read Kid Flash Lost if you'd like.

Do not read New 52.

Reading material 6:.... my main man Bendis. No you do not have to read all of YJ 2019, but BartKon reunion and then Bart's explication as to WHY he found Kon is all you need. Bendis, despite the hate he gets, actually shows that he has great love for the YJ line. BartKon especially. The bald headed demon proves yet again that he care not for the world, only for his faves, which I'm cool with bc BartKon are me faves.

I know. A lotta reading. Those numbers I gave you.... you can also just read half of what I said kjdhgkhd Googling also helps! I know it's not always feasible to read so many comics, and I'mma be real, the Tone for many may not entice you either. Impulse feels like a slice-of-life to me, but YJ's an absurd shounen, and Superboy is the saddest book you'll ever read that is absolutely hilarious when you can accept that 90's writers just Did Not Care. Geoff hates Bart and Kon. New 52 is not real. Bendis actually loves BartKon a LOT, so you can just read their tidbits and find peace in the fact that Bart Allen, the loneliest fucker in existence, found his Kon El, who is the saddest fucker in existence. Something something, I will find you even if God wants us both dead. And God (editorial) did. I don't know how Bendis pulled the shit that he did, but he put a decades old rarepair back on the map after the Geoffian Reign. And Geoff hates Bart and Kon.

Happy Reading/Googling/Researching!!!!

[coralgreenroses]

"People are dying."

No. Let me correct that. Your old age family member might die of natural causes or of a medical condition. Your friend may die even in young age.

To use the term "die" is to downplay it.

People are being KILLED. MURDERED. ITS A GENOCIDE.

If this doesn't evoke an emotion in you, let me help you get this into perspective that these are also humans.

These 1000s or even more "numbers" of "dead" people are people like you and me. They might be Christians, Muslims, Atheists or even may have any other belief system.

People like you and me means they too, if they had the chance to live before the genocide they are facing now, must have had a favourite colour, a favourite coffee, someone they loved or had a crush on, a longing to have a family, a longing to explore the world.

People like you and me means, they must have parents whom they would have bought a present for on mothers or fathers day. They must have waited after giving the present to see the reactions on their face, like we do.

People like you and me means, they must have had hopes and dreams for the future. The longing to live in a safe place, to truly live with a loved one. To hear sounds of laughter in their house. To have a life lived well.

People like you and me means, they too, must have wanted to experience the feeling of finding out they are pregnant, after years of sadness.

People like you and me means, some of them might love the rain , or might like it better when it is sunny.

People like you and me means, they are just like you and me. A human. With feelings. Hopes. Dreams. Emotions. Someone who cries when they are sad. Someone that laughs when they are happy. Someone that gets scared when they might have thought someone broke in to their house.

They are all someone's mother, father, friend,husband, wife, big brother, big sister, little sister, little brother, aunt, uncle, grandmother, grandfather, grand grandmother, grand grandfather and the list goes on.

If anyone of you have passed away family members, or even friends, you must know what it feels like.

The moment you come from the funeral to your mothers room, to smell the scent of her, to take some of her clothes in your arms and give it a tight hug, only to realise, she is not coming back. No more "wake up, you are getting late for school" " Hurry up, your friends are here to pick you up for graduation " " I'll be there on the day of your delivery" to " Live well".

The moment you realise your big sister has passed away. No more "Sis, Im going to school" " Sis get me Mcdonalds" "Sis someone bullied me at school" "Sis where are you". The room will sit empty in your house and soon autumn will turn to winter but your heart will never be the same. Grief changes people.

Every single one of them is human.

Never forget them.

They left us all with one word.

Hope. And to keep them in their prayers.

Dont stop the fight. I beg of you.

We are one Ummah.

If one limb of our brothers/sisters bleed, we all bleed.

Ya Allah, Keep us all on the right path and grant Victory to the Palestinian people.

[generallyjl]

"I am the mother of the martyr, Yumna. I named her with utmost love."

"On the day of the war on 10/7, during her four-month vaccination, I told them, 'She does not want to feel pain. Delay it.'

Yumna had grown to be five months old, and I was happy because I could finally provide her with biscuits, milk, zucchini, carrots, and potatoes.

When the war broke out, I fled with her to different places. I descended from the 11th floor to the staircase, and every time I went down, I found people escaping and I tried to let them take her so If I die, she must live."

"The day she was taken from me was a nightmare. I bathed her, dressed her in white, and combed her hair. I breastfed her and fed her biscuits with milk. I didn't know I was preparing her for death.

This is Yumna, the light of my eyes, the joy of my heart, no matter what I say, it's not enough."

"The fire in my heart will never be extinguished. I slept next to her the day she became a martyr in Al-Shifa Hospital. I told her, 'Now, my dear, you can sleep in a place where I'm not.'

Oh God, reward me for my affliction with goodness. Oh Lord, grant me patience. My daughter is a little martyr.

Allah (SWT) is sufficient for me."

- from Maram Shaqalihi, the mother of Yunma, via Facebook on 20 October 2023. Maram was killed 9 days later.

"Indeed we belong to God, and indeed to God we will return."

May the world always remember and never dare to forgive ourselves.

[danielle-dna]

Tell Me Why - 11

Some people believe in God. Whether it may be the Christian one, Allah, Buddha, or any other supernatural entity. They all have one thing in common: they worship their god in their own way.

That afternoon my god became Simon. And I worshipped him good. On my knees, on my back, stomach, with my hands, tongue, or any of the holes mother nature gave me.

I enjoyed it and so did he. After that day, I began to see him almost every other day. Always his flat, always fucking around with my heels on. He said they make me look great.

"So what exactly is your plan here?" he asked. We were laying in his bed, completely naked. Right after a session of rough bedroom yoga.

My legs were tired and my jaw was a little sore from holding it so wide open. Simon was holding me and caressing my hair. I was telling him about my summer plans. "Well after I finished A levels, I suddenly have a criminal amount of free time, besides work of course. So I created a bucket list of all the things I want to achieve."

After a quiet grunt he proceeded to ask me: "And what exactly is on this bucket list of yours?" I blushed and buried my head in his chest. "Just...stuff. You'd think it's stupid anyways." I could feel his muscles tense. Grabbing my hair at the back of my head, he made me look at him. I had to silence down a moan. "What makes you say that?"

So there is the thing about age-gap relationships. Everyone says it doesn't matter, as long as it's legal. But behind closed doors everyone is judging the couple. For us, the age gap was seven years. I was 21, he was 28. Perfectly legal. But...I felt like a child compared to him. Sure, I had a job, education, knew how to pay bills, do taxes and everything a fully functioning member of society would need to know. Still, how in the hell could I compare to and SAS lieutenant? He has probably seen horrors beyond my imagination. How could I talk to him about stupid things like a show that I like or music I listen to?

"I just...don't want you to see me as a child." He let go of my hair and sat up, pulling me on his lap. "Listen close 'here love. You are more mature than most people I've met. I want to get to know you, because I...actually like you, compared to other people. So I want you to tell me every single detail 'bout yourself, no matter how small."

Gently, he pressed a kiss on my collarbone and squeezed my butt. "Okay...I just....didn't want to bore you with my life." This time he gave my butt a good smack.

"What did I just say? Nothing about you is boring." Playfully he lifted me up and gently threw me on the bed. "Look at you. Fuckin' beautiful."

After that I giggled and embraced him. "I want to fill out a full sketchbook, write more, workout, heal my hair, ... heal my heart."

He raised an eyebrow to that. "Who broke your heart, pretty girl?"

"Everyone"

[wawaikattepi]

weekly journal 1 (moving on)

Life has been very though as ever but to forget you? that’s even thougher. Knowing that we could never be the same shattered my heart into pieces. I have loved you the most. I have loved you as loud as everyone knew how proud I am just to call you mine. It has been awhile since we part ways but yet it felt like yesterday you said ‘I love you’ to me. Just know that I would give everything up just to be with you, be us again. To feel the warmth of our love is what I would die for. I am very much grateful that we’ve crossed path. Never once I ever regret that I met you in this life. I always thought that we could grow old, build a family together. How Funny that we even got a name for our ‘future baby’ hahaha. Allah knows best for us and so here we are. I’ve told ibu how my heart has been taken care of by a very good man. Yet, you’ve proved me wrong.

We failed our relationship once but we managed to be in eachother arms once again. Somehow, we failed twice. This time, there’s no coming back. Few days after we broke up, I found out that you went back to your past. To the one you’ve told me how dirty she did to you, to the one who turned your world upside down, to the one who left you back then. Simply said, I got cheated on by you with your ex. Did I fumbled? yes I do. Did I went crazy? almost. Did I cried my eyes out? I bawled. I lost myself. I felt like a failure. I keep on questioning myself, my worth and I even blamed me for ruined us. For a moment I realized that not everyone who came into our life was meant to stay. There must be something that I lack in me while still learning to love you. It took me months and almost a year for me to gain myself back eventhough I am not fully healed yet but I’m doing great now.

I’m grateful for my friends who were always there for me as they helped me gather up myself, gather up the broken pieces of my heart. I may be unlucky in relationship but Alhamdulillah I’m super blessed with my friendship. I pray to Allah through days and nights hoping that He would varnish the bits of love that left in me for you. I can’t bear to lose myself even more now. As I am recovering, I am also working on my deen, balancing my dunya and my akhirah. And for you, please forget me, please forgive me as I’ve forgave you and please be happy. I hope you’re even happier and be the happiest. I hope you become the great and successful man that you’ve once told me you want to be. Thankyou, my love lesson. May we never meet again.

[onceinabluemun]

And I know with my heart, that I’ll never truly be alone. Without Allah I have nothing and with nothing, at least I have Allah. It was him who comforted me in my sorrow. It was because of him that I kept my chin up, and mustered the courage to accept what I could change and make things change. It was him who said, “do not let their words sadden you.” It was him who encouraged me to keep walking, even if my heart broke. To be patient and kind even on the days I felt angry at everything. And when I doubted the kindness of myself, It was Allah whose words remained in my heart like an iron fist. It was him who said if I came walking, he’d come to me running. He told me never, ever, to give up hope. So how could I, if my Lord created this beautiful destiny in all its joys and hardships? And in my illness, it was him who said, “indeed, after hardship, there is ease.” It is those verses that gave me health of the soul. It is those verses I say under my breath when my world feels as if it’s crumbling down. It is Allah who accompanies me even in my painful solitude, and it is only his words that heal the parts of my heart that nobody can see. When you accept pain and give love to the world, it will never go unreciprocated.

[writerfarzanatutul]

❤️Marriage is Beautiful❤️- A Muslim Love story

Amena had always dreamed of working in the heart of the city, where her career thrived. But when her parents introduced Armaan for marriage one day, her world shifted. Armaan was everything she wanted in her partner: a devout young Muslim man with similar values like hers. They got married in a short time. But Armaan's job required him to change places from time to time. Neither wanted a long-distance relationship. So, she had to choose between her career and Armaan.

Amena sat at her desk, the soft glow of her computer screen illuminating her face. She had written her resignation letter, and now her finger hovered over the mouse. She sighed. She was about to resign from her job.

Armaan's call earlier that day echoed in her ears. His voice, filled with both excitement and apprehension, had painted a picture of a new opportunity in Dubai. It was a dream job, a chance to climb the corporate ladder at an unprecedented pace. But it also meant leaving behind everything she knew, including her promising career in Dhaka.

Then, she closed her eyes.

And, remember the day they got married. Both of their eyes were filled with the promise of a bright future and love. Another memory occurred when they promised to stay with each other forever.

a smile appeared on her lips. It's fine as long as Armaan is with her. She can leave anything for him.Instantly, she made the decision and resigned from her post. They moved to Dubai. Together, they built a beautiful life full of love and happiness.

One day, their world was turned upside down. Mimi was in a terrible accident that left her completely paralyzed and confined to her bed.

The once vibrant apartment now echoed with an eerie silence. Amena lay in bed, her eyes fixed on the white ceiling. Days turned into weeks, each one a monotonous blur. Armaan moved through the room like a ghost, his face etched with a mixture of love and exhaustion. He'd learned to bathe her, feed her, and change her dressings with a tender efficiency. But the sparkle in his eyes, the life that once danced in his spirit, seemed to have faded.

"Armaan," AMena’s voice, weak and hoarse, broke the silence.

He turned, his face softening. "I'm here, love."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her heart aching. "I'm a burden to you."

Armaan's hand found hers, squeezing it gently. "Don't ever say that, Mimi. You are my world, my everything. This is just a phase, a test. We will get through this together."

Mimi smiled weakly. But, she couldn’t believe in his words. She knew she was a burden. A liability.

Armaan sat beside mIMI, his hand gently holding hers. His voice, soft and soothing, carried the familiar tale of Prophet Ayyub (PEACE AND BLESSINGS OF GOD BE UPON HIM).

"And then, after years of suffering, Allah cured Ayyub(PEACE AND BLESSINGS OF gOD BE UPON HIM), restored his health, and blessed him abundantly," Armaan finished, his eyes filled with a hopeful gleam.

Amena listened, a faint smile playing on her lips. Her heart ached with longing for a similar miracle. But the reality of her situation was a heavy weight on her chest.

"Why do you tell me the same story every day, Armaan?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

Armaan's grip tightened on her hand. "Because, my love, every time I tell it, I hope a piece of that hope, that faith, transfers to you. I want you to believe that just like Ayyub (peace and blessings be upon him), your test will also end, and you will be restored."

A tear escaped Amena's eye. She loved him for his unwavering faith, his relentless optimism. But the darkness within her was overwhelming.

"What if this is my test, Armaan? What if this is how my story ends?" Her voice trembled.

Armaan was silent for a moment. Then, he leaned in, kissing her forehead gently. "No, my love. Your story is far from over. This is just a chapter, a difficult one, but it won't be the ending. We will find a way, together. "

His words were like a fragile beacon of hope in the stormy sea of her despair. Mimi clung to them, even as doubt gnawed at her.

sINCE THE PAST FEW DAYS, aMENA’S HEALTH DETERIORATED. Armaan WAS SCARED TO LOSE HER.

The room was shrouded in an eerie silence, broken only by the rhythmic rise and fall of Amena's chest. Arman sat beside her, his hand gently resting on her arm. His eyes were heavy with exhaustion, but fear gnawed at his heart. Every day since the accident had been a battle—one he wasn't sure he was strong enough to fight. But he had to, for her.

A sudden stillness enveloped him. Her chest stopped rising and falling. Panic surged through him as he shook her gently. "Amena, wake up!" His voice was a hoarse whisper, a plea that cut through the stillness like a knife.

She didn’t respond. Her hand, once warm beneath his, grew cold. His world crumbled.

"No, no, no!" Arman screamed her name, his voice echoing in the silent room, a desperate cry that shattered the calm. His mind raced, a whirlwind of denial and despair. He couldn’t lose her, not now, not ever.

Frantic, he performed CPR, his hands moving in a blur, pressing against her chest, willing her back to life. Each compression was a prayer, a plea to Allah his heart pounding in his ears. "Come back to me, Amena! Please!"

Minutes felt like hours as hope began to fade, his strength waning. Tears streamed down his face as he leaned over her, his body shaking. "Amena," he whispered, his voice broken. "Please... I can't do this without you. I need you. I need you so much."

Just when despair threatened to consume him, he felt it—a faint pulse. Relief washed over him like a tidal wave, a gasp escaping his lips. Her chest rose, then fell, a fragile rhythm returning. Amena’s eyes fluttered open, dazed and confused, as if pulled from the brink of death.

Arman collapsed beside her, his body racked with sobs. He buried his face in her hand, tears soaking her skin. "Don't ever scare me like that again," he sobbed, the fear in his voice raw and exposed. "I thought I lost you, Amena. I thought you were gone, and I couldn't... I can't lose you. You're everything to me. I was so scared."

Amena, weak but conscious, reached out and touched his face. The depth of his love hit her like a tidal wave, and for the first time since the accident, something inside her shifted. His terror, his heartbreak, laid bare before her, reignited a flame in her that had nearly been extinguished.

In that moment, as she looked into his eyes, her heart filled with a profound love and admiration for the man beside her. She saw the fear, the pain, but also the unwavering devotion. Arman needed her as much as she needed him. A spark ignited within her, a flicker of hope in the darkness that had consumed her for so long.

She had to fight. Not just for herself, but for him, for their love. A vow formed in her heart, a silent promise to defy her limitations, to push through the pain and despair. She would rise again, no matter how hard it was.

"Arman," she whispered, her voice shaky but determined, "I'm not going anywhere inshallah. I promise you. We'll get through this together."

He looked at her, his tears mingling with a fragile smile. In that shared moment, amidst the remnants of fear and despair, they found strength in each other. Amena’s journey to recovery would be long and arduous, but she was no longer afraid. With Arman by her side, she knew she could face anything.

Amena's road to recovery was arduous, marked by setbacks and triumphs. With each small victory—a flicker of movement in her fingers, the ability to sit upright without assistance—her spirit soared. Armaan was her unwavering rock, providing constant encouragement and support. She drew inspiration from prophet Ayub (peace and blessings be upon him)

Their love deepened as they navigated this new chapter together. The challenges they faced forged an unbreakable bond. Their home, once filled with quiet desperation, now echoed with the laughter of their children.

Just as Allah, Al-Jawwaal, healed Prophet Ayub and rewarded him for his unwavering patience, Amena and Arman too were blessed after enduring their trials. For truly, with hardship comes ease. Though the scars of their journey remained, they carried them with grace and strength, their belief in Almighty Allah deepening with each step they took.

To express their gratitude for the countless blessings bestowed upon them, Amena and Arman decided to perform Umrah. Standing before the Kaaba, the center of their faith, their hearts overflowed with gratitude and love. The sacred air was thick with the weight of their prayers, and they felt a peace they had longed for, a serenity that could only come from complete submission to the will of Allah.

Amena looked up at Arman, her eyes reflecting the sacred light of the Kaaba. “I pray to Allah that you stay next to me like this in Jannah also.”

Arman’s heart swelled with emotion, and he gently squeezed her hand. “I also pray that I will hold your hand like this in Jannah,” he whispered, his voice filled with devotion.

In that sacred moment, as they stood together in the holiest of places, they knew their journey was far from over. The trials of this world had only strengthened their bond, and now they looked forward to an eternal life together, by Allah’s grace.

Their story didn’t end at the Kaaba; it was only the beginning of their journey toward Jannah, where they would live forever, hand in hand, by the grace of Allah. With faith as their guide and love as their anchor, Amena and Arman continued their journey, secure in the knowledge that their ultimate reunion awaited them in the gardens of paradise.

The End

[rueyam]

Salam girl, was hoping for your perspective on a matter, sometimes my past kills me, I kissed an idiot creep who preyed on me on an emotionally vulnerable period in my life where I was depressed and lonely and let go of my religious principles

Luckily he broke up with me and things didn’t go any further than that one kiss even tho he would pressure me to send him pics, I’m happily married now alhamdulillah to an amazing guy but what I did still kills me. I hate myself so much for it and I wish everyday I could go back and tell that guy to screw off, I stayed chaste for my whole life other than that stupid mistake

I never told my husband about it because past intimacy was a dealbreaker for him and I liked him way too much to let him go and Islam also says to not disclose past sins if you’ve sincerely repented and God knows how much I’ve repented for my actions. Sometimes what I did still fills me with guilt and I hate myself for lying to my husband but telling him would make things 10000x worse, I know it would shatter his heart and could even jeopardize our marriage so it’s definitely not in the cards to ever tell him about it but I just wish I could forgive myself for what I did but perhaps this is Gods punishment to me that I get to keep the man I love but I will hate myself for the mistake for the rest of my life

alaykum salam, i get it that it still guilts you but remember that mistakes are a part of the human nature and if there would be people without sins, Allah would replace them with sinners who would seek for His forgiveness so Allah could forgive them. i don’t think that your hatred towards yourself is a punishment from Allah but rather your punishment to yourself. if you made sincere tawbah and felt His mercy then why would He still punish you. why. are you supposed to be flawless?

i think Allah makes you feel His forgiveness especially through your actions after the sin you committed, you never repeated what you did, on the contrary you married someone to avoid zina for the rest of your life. be a little more empathetic towards yourself. 🤍

i recommend you to keep this to yourself, it is something between you and Allah swt and it’s not wrong but commanded to hide your sins, don’t let people judge you for what you can hide, let God be the only judge. i'm sure your husband has sins too, perhaps different from yours, which he keeps to himself. and that is alright as long as you are pleased with him right now. accept that you are flawed, weak and human, and that tempts and trials can overcome us because of that. what matters more is your sincerity after. once you accept that, you will look at yourself through the attributes of Allah.

[okayyeros]

Hi. I just stumbled across your blog and saw that you are Muslim and Hellenic. I converted to Islam about 13 years ago. I fought an uphill battle as a queer/trans person for a very long time. So much religious trauma on top of all the stuff from my childhood religious experience. I was completely isolated except for people telling me I was going to hell and all manner of other things. I’m sure you can guess. With all that, and also my internal struggles from growing up evangelical and practicing various forms of Paganism since I was a teen, I left the faith. It broke my heart. It still does. When I came back to God, it was through a different avenue where the pain wasn’t so fresh. I’d consider myself very generally to be an omnist now. I’m still working it out. I don’t even know what I’m asking here, but I’m sitting here almost in tears at finding someone like me. Maybe it’s not too late. Thank you for being visible. ❤️

omg hello!!!! You have no idea how much this means to me omg.

As someone who was raised in a Palestinian immigrant household, Islam is very much so ingrained into the culture. My family has never been incredibly religious but It was always still there and something I found comfort in. Around last year, I got into researching the way Islam views free will, and I fell in love with it. It's become a huge beacon for my art and for how I view myself. Thankfully, I grew up in a household where they didn't mind that I'm queer, but I definitely understand how it can impact your relationship with religions, specifically Abrahamic ones.

I discovered hellenism as a religion when I had been in a really bad state of mind. It helped me process my emotions in a way I hadn't before. I didn't exactly put a label on what I had done with the Hellenic pantheon until honestly December of 2023. But the gods had been a part of my life since around 2019.

Dont get me wrong, I've struggled with being both hellenic and Muslim. After I set up my altar for the first time, I had a panic attack. But I adore Allah and I adore the Gods just as much. Both religions are so important to who I am and who i will be.

I'm so glad there are other folks like me too :,) I wish you the best of luck on your journey little friend! live your life in the way that will make you the happiest. you are deserving of love and joy. <3

[msanonymous]

(I'm posting a bunch of questions all together I'm sorry I had my exams and forgot to post 😭)

Day 3: What type of worship comes the easiest to you?

It is such a great question. I think initially I wanted to answer reading Qur'an, because it brings so much peace to my heart, I love doing it. But also making dua is an act of ibadah too, talking to Allāh is also an act of worship, but I remember reading that anything you do with good intentions in your heart is an act of worship.

Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “Verily, the people will only be raised for judgment based on their intentions.” (Sunan Ibn Mājah 4229)

& Abdullah ibn Amr, RadhiAllahu Anhu, reported: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

ال��َّاحِمُونَ يَرْحَمُهُمْ الرَّحْمَنُ ارْحَمُوا مَنْ فِي الْأَرْضِ يَرْحَمْكُمْ مَنْ فِي السَّمَاءِ

Those who are merciful will be shown mercy by the Merciful. Be merciful to those on the earth and the One above the heavens will have mercy upon you. (Sunan al-Tirmidhī 1924)

& it literally means be kind to the creations of Allāh and your Creator will be kind to you and I find that so beautiful like you could literally smile at the person you saw on the street, ask the cashier how her day went, lend a pen to your friend and it'll count as a good deed I mean how easy is that? Indeed Allāh Subhanahu wa ta'ala is the most merciful. So yeah I try my best to be kind to others with good intentions and I find it the easiest.

Day 4: Ramadan is the month of the qur'an. What is an ayah from the Qur'an that has changed your view of things or impacted you deeply?

There are so many actually, I don't think anyone can narrow it down to only one, but the one that impacted me the most is definitely:

مَا وَدَّعَكَ رَبُّكَ وَمَا قَلَى

Your Lord has not abandoned you, nor has He become hateful ˹of you˺. ~93:03

At that time I was confused between the punishment of Allāh and trials and I thought I'm being punished by Allāh but then my Father clarified it for me and just after that I read that verse and broke down into tears. Subhanallah. And also:

فَادْخُل فِي عِبَدِي

وَادْخُلِي جَنَّتِي

So join My (honored) servants,

And enter My Paradise. ~90:29, 90:30

I read that and just felt so emotional, from that day I just pray that on the Day of Judgement may Allāh say those words to me, to all of us.

Day 5: Share a memory of Ramadan from your childhood or when you first embraced Islam.

This is not something I'm very proud of but when I was very little like 4 or 5 I used to want to fast and would make my mother wake me up for suhoor and all, even though everyone told me that I was too little, I was so adamant I wouldn't listen and could barely do it, at that time my Grandmother would always go to market for iftar run, I used to go with her and I'd become so tired she would ask "You'd like to eat something we'll keep it a secret?" And then I'd break my fast, return to my home and pretend like I'm still doing it, basically my Grandmother would call my Mother and spill the beans and everyone would pretend that they didn't already know I'm pretending. 😭

Eventually my Mother sat me down and explained that this is not the right thing. I got it, but I still find that acting of all my family members very sweet. 🥹

Day 6: What are some Ramadan traditions you have, and what are some that you'd like to pass on to others?

Family gatherings after taraweeh which sometimes accidentally last till suhoor 👀 I just love them so much, I hate socializing but family gatherings in Ramadan hit different <3

Also sending iftar to relatives and iftar dawats, love hosting them.

[zutarasbuff]

You were the door of my connection with Allah SWT. I was so selfish back then, I asked for you in all my prayers. Did everything. Everything in my control to have you in my life. You connected me with Allah SWT. When I think about it now, I feel so ashamed that I was bargaining for the world and He wanted to bestow me His love. At that time, I was so immature. I even got angry with Him when I couldn’t get you. In my heart, I decided that I won’t pray for anything because you were the only person I wanted so badly in my life. When I look back at my life, I feel so bad about how I used to perceive prayers and connection with Allah SWT. I still remember the day when you made it clear that I couldn’t have you, I cried so much on a prayer mat. I complained to Allah that why did He break my heart so badly that I was unable to think of anything but how this world ended for me. In all honesty, I died with that heartbreak because it was the last time I wished for something and prayed for it. I forgot Allah for weeks, then months and eventually this connection was long gone. If someone told me about how they used to pray for something, it seemed like a strange idea to me. I was in a phase of denial and then I accepted this reality that I can never have you. You were the kind of love which made my connection stronger with Allah SWT. I wish to rekindle that, but I don’t feel that I can get that connection back where I was crying in my sujood and talking to Him about how it broke me. Sometimes I even wonder are you a real person or just a part of my imagination lying in some corner of my heart who’s always there and appears only before me? The one who’s not even a real person but I have made him in my mind and occasionally I keep coming back to him just to find that he’s there. He’s still a part of my mind. Squeezing you out of that little corner feels so painful. It’s not you but the cord with Allah which makes it impossible to break this connection as you always give me a reminder that how I used to love Allah back then. I even think that what’s so extraordinary about you, why is my mind still wondering about your whereabouts? I just don’t know the answer. Over the years, I have just realised one thing and that’s how Allah chose me to be a seeker for Him but I gave into worldly temptations and lost this golden opportunity.

[nightguide]

IF YOU'RE LEARNING ASTROLOGY (NEW), YOU MADE IT THIS FAR THAT I HAVE YOUR METHODS THOUGHT OUT TRULY WELL AND BELIEVED BUT YOUR MEMORY (OLD OR NOT) STILL HAVE TO KEEP UP THE APPEARANCES WHEN LOOKING AT YOUR LIFE DIFFERENTLY, SO IT'S A HEADS UP ON VOCATIONAL (CONTINUING) MEMBERS THAT ARE AFFECTED MY MEMORY INTUITION (ALZHEIMERS)

SO HERE IS WHERE YOU KNOW ME AS A PERSON (IF YOU KNEW MY TWITTER STATUS)

RISING IS THE SAME AS SUN BUT DIFFERENTIATING IT BY VISIBILITY MAKES THE ENERGY AS COMMON TO WHAT THEY DO BUT THEY DON'T WANT TO..... AND THAT'S WHY YOU SHOULD ALWAYS TRUST ON YOUR ALGORITHM LOGIC WHEN YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A DOCTOR, CUZ IN EVERY SINGLE WAY I AM.

ARIES RISING + LIBRA RISING

ARIES RISING = LEVEL HEADED, FIERY, IMAGINATIVE, HEART-FELT, PASSIONATE PEOPLE YOU'LL NEVER MEET, WHAT EVERYBODY THINKS OF CHAPPELL ROAN, STARGAZERS, THE CUTEST PEOPLE ALIVE, HEARTBROKEN MEN, 80'S MOVIE FORGIVING YOU, THE REASON THE WORLD EXISTS CUZ THEY AMPLIFY THE WORD 'YOU' LIKE THEY INVENTED IT BUT THEY ARE LIKE SAYING IT TO YOU THAT THEY NEVER INVENTED IT (BEING)

LIBRA RISING = HEARTBROKEN BUT NEVER ALONE, SOMEBODY'S BEST FRIEND ENERGY, LEE PACE, GOD BROKE THEM FIRST SO WHY BOTHER TRYING A LITTLE HARDER,GEN-Z'S HUMOUR, RUBY ROSE IF YOU LOOKED AT HER FIRST AND THOUGHT 'SCARY' CUZ SHE IS THE PARTY BUT YOU DON'T KNOW HER THAT WELL FROM PUBLIC GLANCE, (SOMEBODY)

2. TAURUS RISING + SCORPIO RISING

TAURUS RISING = ENIGMATIC, SOCIAL FCK BOI, WONDERMINDS, USB (HARD DRIVE), POWER BANK FOR YOUR DEAD PHONE BUT NEVER FORGETS SHIT ABOUT IT BUT IF YOU SQUARE THEM UP THEN IT'S UR MOM WHO TOLD YOU OFF FOR EXISTING (THEY BESTIES WITH THEM), DONE WITH LIFE BUT DONE. WITH. LIFE. ENERGY, ESFJ, (CONTESTANTS OF THE APPRENTICE ENERGY)

SCORPIO RISING = FORGOTTEN BUT INSPIRED, HEARTBROKEN WOMAN ENERGY, LONER, ASSHOLE AT BEST FOR EVERYBODY'S BEST CASE SCENARIO, GHOSTS BUT YOU KNEW THEM TO BE TOO CUTE FOR THEIR HONOUR TO LIVE AMONG YOU, CIA FOR THE BEST SONS OF BITCHES, WILLING TO IGNITE CONFLICT FOR A RESOLUTION 'THEORY' THAT WAS NOT EVEN YOURS ANYWAY (TRIBE-LIKE) ENERGY, (BEST FRIEND AT FIRST GLANCE ENERGY)

3. GEMINI RISING + SAGITTARIUS RISING

GEMINI RISING = BELIEVERS OF A NEW WORLD, STAR STUDDED HEARTBREAKERS, LIKES TO LEVEL UP YOUR CONVERSATION ABOVE YOUR MOTHERS WEIGHT GAIN, BASICALLY YOUR HANDS IF THEY HAD SOME SPUNK TO GO UP AGAINST THE NORMS IF YOUR BRAIN IS NOT THERE, WILLING TO START A GOOD TIME LIKE ENERGY, HELPS YOU DIG A GRAVE LIKE THE LAST BITCH SEES YOU DYING AN THEY BE LIKE 'GOOD, LET THEM DIE' LIKE ENERGY, (WILL LIKE TO BEAT UP A BITCH FOR A BITCH LIKE ENERGY)

SAGITTARIUS RISING = *YOU'RE LIKE THE FCKIN REASON THEY HATE YOU BUT -TURNS TO LOOK AT THE BESTIE AT THE RIGHT THAT ACTUALLY HAS A DREAM- LIKE, THEY THE ONES WHO PROFITS OFF A DREAM IN THE END BUT IF YOU KNEW THEM, THEY LOVE TO MAKE SENSE OF THE BITCH THEY'RE WITH. SO THEY LOVE TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD BY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT-* CROSS THEM OR BITCH, THEY KNOW A FCKIN LEGEND TO TELL ONE DAY (IT'S THEIR LIFE THAT IS UNSPOKEN FOR BUT THAT IS LIKE THE START OF THEIR FAIRYTALE = THEIR EX-LIFE IS SHITE IF NOT ACCOUNTED FOR, THEY REMEMBER EVERYTHING THEY BELIEVE IN THROUGH THEIR AQUARIUS BEST FRIEND OF ANYBODY), KILL A BITCH WITH A DJINN MAKES YOU THINK BRO, THEY MAKE YOU FORGET BUT THE DAY YOU MEET A BITCH THEY SQUARE YOU UP AND MAKE YOU LIVE A ANOTHER DAY CUZ THEY LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER BITCH, BROTHER, THEY RUN THE UNIVERSE LIKE ALLAH FORGETS WHY HE LEFT THEM ON SEEN, BROTHER, THEY HATE BEING FORGOTTEN BY ANOTHER STAR SIGN LIKE THEIR WORLD IS NOT EVEN BELIEVED BUT YOU STINK, BROTHER, ACTIN LIKE THEY RUN THE GODDAMN CIRCUS CUZ THEY BELIEVE IN A DUNYA MADE FOR THEM AND NOT AGAINST THEM SO YOU WANNA BE A BITCH, YOU DID IT TO THE BITCH WHO RAISED YOU, BROTHER, FCKIN SQUARE AN UGLY NIGGA WITH A BAD DREAM CUZ THEY DON'T LIE LIKE YOU SEE, BROTHER (AQUARIUS UNDERNEATH THE SHEETS, BROTHA)

4. CANCER RISING + CAPRICORN RISING

CANCER RISING = YOU NEVER WATCHED THE TV SERIES 'FOUNDATION' THE FIRST TIME SO WHY BOTHER WATCHING HIM NUDE FIGHTING YOUR DAD LIKE THAT ENERGY, EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS IF YOU NEVER SEEN IT, THE NANNY (TV SERIES), YOU REJECT YOUR OWN HYPOCRISY AND THEY ARE 'THAT', THEY GOT A FAMOUS RELATIVE SOMEWHERE BUT YOU HATE THEM CUZ YOU WERE THE REASON WHY THEY DIED 'BUT U KNOW THEY NOT' ENERGY (JAPAN IN A PERSON)

CAPRICORN RISING = MY DAD IS A _______ AN THEY BELIEVE YOU, BITCH. *MAKES A POINT BUT NEVER HEARD* (LIKE THAT IS POOR OF THEM TO BE HEARD CUZ THEY HARDLY SPEAK), WORST CASE SCENARIO IN REAL LIFE, BEST CASE SCENARIO FOR A WORLD END CASE, LIFE LESSON IN A PERSON IF YOU THOUGHT OF THEM, YOU MET THEM AS A BABY ENERGY, YOU LOVE THEM TO NEVER EVER HATE THEM, YOU KNEW MY MOM FROM DOCTOR WHO ENERGY, I HATE YOU AND IT IS FINALISED ENERGY, SHOW-RUNNERS EVERYWHERE HATES YOU FOR BEATING THEM FIRST IN OPTIMAL RESOLUTION THINKING FIRST ENERGY, RUN THE WORLD - BEYONCE (MP3. WAV) ENERGY, BEYONCE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND AT SOME POINT IN REAL LIFE CUZ SHE IS LIKE YOU NEVER MET HER (YOUR SAGITTARIUS BESTIE MIMICKED YOU), YOU HAVE ENEMIES AS YOUR FRIENDS ENERGY, I WILL KILL YOU AND IT IS EVIDENT ENERGY, ANNA WINTOUR HATES YOUR GUTS AND THEY ARE THAT ENERGY, FATHER'S BEST FRIEND IS NOT EVEN A PUPPY ANYMORE BUT YOUR PARTNER IS ACCURATELY ATTUNE TO YOU BUT 'I HATE YOU' TURNS TO 'NOT EVEN YOU' ENERGY

5. LEO RISING + AQUARIUS RISING

LEO RISING = SINCERE BUT FCKIN HATES LIFE FOR THEIR BEST PARTNER CO-WORKER ATTITUDE EVOLVER BUDDY NOW WIFE/HUSBITCH ENERGY, IS THE REASON WHY YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO BE YOURSELF ENERGY, HATES YOU TO BEAT YOU ENERGY, ARIES STEREOTYPE IN ACTUAL REALITY, ARROGANT BUT HELL YOU DONT KNOW ME BUT SMUG-LORDS TO THE CORE ENERGY, TOOK YOUR HIGHSCORE AND MADE IT THEIR CURRENCY TO MAKE YOU LOOK STUPID ENERGY, LOVES EVERYTHING TO HATE YOU BEING THEM ENERGY, WILL MAKE YOUR FAMILY RUN A BUTCHERS UNDERNEATH YOUR NAME ENERGY FOR HUMAN RESOURCES ENERGY, IS THE DEVIL, LINNA RIAZ IN ALL HER WORK ONLINE BUT YOU NEVER ATTENDED TO HER INTUITIVELY BUT YOU THE ONE FCK BOI SHE USES AS AN EXAMPLE TO IRRITATE THE MASSES CUZ OF UNIVERSAL STANDARDS, YOUR WORST CASE SCENARIO IN A THOUGHT ENERGY (BODY)

AQUARIUS RISING = DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU BUT HECK THEY'D DIE FOR YOU ENERGY, MARTYR, WILL ABSOLUTELY EAT YOU UP IN AN ARGUMENT IN YOUR OWN IMAGINATION CUZ THEY MUCH LIKE THE CAPRICORN STEREOTYPES BUT WITH NO FCKS TO GIVE ENERGY BUT YOU SOLD THEIR SOUL AT SOME POINT IN YOUR LIFE ENERGY, FEEDS ON HUMAN SOULS LIKE A FCKIN LIBRARY, CLAIRVOYANT SO YOU KNEW WHO YOU ROYALLY PISSED OFF ALONG THE BLOODLINE WHICH IS THEIR KARMIC LINEAGE TO NO FAULTS CUZ THEY THE FATHER CAPRICORN RISING MFS ARE TALKING ABOUT AND IT IS ENERGY, SHUTS. YOU. UP. INSTANTLY, MAFIA BOSS ENERGY, THOMAS SHELBY DIED FOR DIS BITCH ENERGY, CILLIAN MURPHY, JUST DON'T FCK AROUND CUZ THE SAG BESTIE AT THE SIDE WILL KILL YOU BY BELIEVING WHILE THE AQUA IS ENJOYING LIFE THAT ENERGY, CELEBRITIES DONT MEAN A THING ENERGY, *IS THAT CELEBRITY IN A GROUP CHAT THAT MANAGES PEOPLES SITUATIONS LIKE ALAN TURING GAVE UP HIS SOUL TO GET BACK AT HUMANITY CUZ OF LGBTQIA+ DEPENDED ON HIS SOUL FOR IT, APPLE DEVICES GETTING TOO INTRUSIVE ON YOUR C*CK ENERGY, YOUR MOM IN A DISNEY MOVIE IS GAY ENERGY, TIME-TRAVELLERS, DONT PISS OFF YOUR LITTLE SISTER ENERGY, BEST FRIEND NEVER ENERGY, LIKE A FORGOTTEN 9YO SIBLING BEST FRIEND YOU MET ONCE IN YOUR LIFE BUT WAS LIKE WHAT YOU HEARD OF RIVER PHOENIX BUT YOU STAYED TRUE TO THEM LIKE YOU KEANU REEVES BUT HATES YOUR GUTS TO SEE THE TRUTH BUT DOES NOT MIND YOU SEEING THEM IN MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO ENERGY, 'SHUT THE FUCK UP' AND THEY MADE A REALITY ABOUT IT TO TEACH AN *INSERT NAME HERE* A THING OR TWO ABOUT EGALITARIAN PHYSICS BUT IT WILL LAST CENTURIES CUZ OF YOU, THE NIGGAS THAT ACTUALLY STARTED THE QURAN ENERGY, (YOUR MOM)

6. VIRGO RISING + PISCES RISING

VIRGO RISING = YOU HATE THEM TO BE THEM ENERGY, *ANSON SEABRA IS THE ONLY ONE WHO DOES NOT GET IT BUT YOU'RE THERE (LINNA RIAZ CHANGED HIS LIFE FOREVER), LIKE SATURN RETURN HAS A GIFT YOU UNLOCKED CUZ YOU NICE, VERY VULNERABLE TO BE AROUND NIGGAS ENERGY, HATES THAT ONE PERSON AND IT'S YOUR REALITY ENERGY, WILL MAKE AN AQUARIUS WOMAN DO HIS BIDDING CUZ HE KNOWS A BITCH ENERGY, LITERALLY THAT CHATTER-BOX BEST FRIEND THAT SQUARES A MAN INSIDE YOUR SOUL ENERGY, JOHN LEGUIZAMO ENERGY, HATES A DAD TO KNOW YOU ENERGY, DOESNT KNOW A MAN TOO GOOD ENOUGH THAT EVEN JOHNNY DEPP IS SCARED OF YOU ENERGY, SARCASM IS ANIMATION TO YOU ENERGY, DIED A WHILE AGO TO CONSUME A NEW PERSONALITY ENERGY, CARES ENOUGH TO KILL HIMSELF ENERGY, *ANSON SEABRA'S DISCOGRAPHY IS ACTUALLY YOUR LIFE BUT YOU WENT TO HELL CUZ YOU PISSED AN GEMINI RISING OFF WHICH IS WHY YOU HATE SHIT TO HATE SHIT RECURRING THAT EVEN MATT SMITH HATES YOUR GUTS CUZ HE'S THE SAME, BUT FCK HIS MARRIED LIFE ON DOCTOR WHO (HENCE THE BLUE MAN)*, HATES TO BE AROUND A NIGGA EXCEPT A GRANDDAUGHTER ENERGY, IS YOU ENERGY, KIRBY IS ACTUALLY AGNOSTIC (HEARTBROKEN WOMAN)

PISCES RISING = DONT PISS OFF ANNA FRIEL IN PERSON. MAKES A JAMAICAN WOMA- AND NOW YOU GET THE REFERENCE, TV TAKEN TOO SERIOUSLY, YOUR LIFE IS NOT EVEN THE SAME BUT YOU'RE DEAD IN HELL ANYWAY, STONER-THOUGHTS IN A PERSON BUT DIED IN A DREAM, NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO TALK MF'S, END CREDITS DIED TO LET THE MAIN CHARACTER LIVE ENERGY, IS ACTUALLY THE MAIN CHARACTER ENERGY, PUSHING DAISIES IN ACTUAL REALITY ENERGY, OBJECTS TAKEN FOR GRANTED ENERGY, (HOME)