#What even is the plot of this one movie though

[lilgarbitch]

Touch, Torture, and Tattoos- Nicholas Ruffilo (One shot)

Pairing: Nicholas Ruffilo x Reader

CW: tattoos/ description of getting one, bit of shitty plot, lots of dirty filthy evil smut 🤭, SassySubby!Nick (more like bratty switch), unprotected p in v(naughty lil fuckers), creampie, cockwarming???, my shitty writing 🫶🏻

Word Count: 10.8k👀

Author’s Note: Just a quick lil thing. Don’t ask what came over me to make this. Just know that I’m not to blame😇 (i wrote the smut before the plot so the opening is ass ngl)

Viewer discretion is advised. 18+

You sat in the slightly uncomfortable metal chair of the tattoo shop, trying to entertain yourself on your phone. Nick was quiet as he focused on the leg of the client in front of him, not wanting to make any mistakes, so you made sure you did your best not to distract him. 

The boys had time this week to relax and do what they wanted, for once not having to be in the studio or travel for an interview, so you happily accepted their invitation to spend time with them since you haven’t had the chance to see them in a while. 

The group and you mainly hung out at their house, either watching movies, swimming, making a mess in the kitchen, or chatting about how life used to be before they got big. It was nice that they finally had time to just relax and have fun in the mix of their busy schedules. And you were definitely happy that you were finally able to see Nick again. You had a crush on him for as long as you could remember, instantly being attracted to his humor and his gorgeous looks, but pushed the feelings away once they started getting busier, knowing that there wasn’t even time for a relationship, even if he felt the same. But that didn’t stop the feelings from slowly resurfacing and becoming more than just a crush every time you had the opportunity to spend time with him.

Every time all of you hung out, your attention always seemed to fall on him more than the rest. Even when watching a movie, your eyes always trailed towards him. You never made it obvious, though. You did your best to treat them all the same, treating them like brothers. The last thing you needed was to make it awkward, or even worse, create so much tension you couldn’t see them anymore. But the tension that had been building inside of you was becoming torture.

Nick had known of this break for a while now. Itching to get back into tattooing, he asked a friend of his if he could use his studio for a day, then asked around if anyone was looking to get a piece done. He had two offers, and you happily told him that you were willing to get another. Not that you weren’t always down to get a new tattoo, but you mainly offered so you could spend more time with him. You loved spending time with the boys, and absolutely enjoyed hanging out with all of them, but when a rare chance came to get alone time with Nick, you just had to take it. 

You two had been here since early this morning. He told you that you didn’t have to come in until later in the day, but almost seemed sad to say, like he regretted spending most of his free day away from you. But with the offer of being the errand runner and grabbing us lunch, he happily obliged. Not that he needed any convincing, but he had to pretend like he felt bad making you spend half the day doing nothing but sitting in the shop with him. 

Your attention gets pulled from your phone as his client stood up and walked to the mirror to check out their new tattoo. Nick chatted with them for a few minutes, getting payment set up and wishing them a good day as they left, pleased with the new piece of art on their body. 

He walked over and sat down in the chair by you, stretching his back after being hunched over for an hour. 

“I love doing this, but god, does my body hate it,” he mumbled as he stretched his arms over his head. A small sliver of skin caught your eyes as his shirt raised with him, but you quickly blinked away any inappropriate thoughts and looked back up at him just in time for him to settle and glance at you. 

“So, you ready?” he asked, clapping his hands together with a smile on his face. You couldn’t help but match his smile. 

“Always,” you said as you stood up from your chair. 

He stood and walked over to where he had your piece already drawn out and prepared on a stencil. You two had been shooting ideas back and forth for the last few days, and eventually landed getting a skeleton hand. One of the few remaining spots you had open on your skin was on your rib, right below your breast, so you decided that getting the hand to fit the curvature of your body would look pretty cool.

He grabbed the stencil and walked over to you, so you lifted your shirt, holding it right below your bra. He eyed the space of blank skin, then held the stencil up to it. After a few moments of him lining it up perfectly, he finally placed it. You both walked over to the mirror so you could check the placement. After turning your body a few times, making sure you liked where it was, you told him it was perfect. 

You walked over to the bed and laid down, tucking your shirt under your slightly lifted bra, and angling your body in a way where the stencil could be easily worked on. He set up his table with everything he needed and then got himself sat and pulled up next to you, ready to start. 

“All good to go?” he asked, making sure you were officially ready to start, and you nodded. 

You did your best to relax, but tattoos in this area were hard not to focus on. So you mentally prepared yourself as he reached out and held your side and brought the needle to your skin. But the sensation of his touch completely overpowered the pain of the needle.

All you could focus on as he began working was the way his gloved hand held and pulled at your skin. You didn’t know if you were glad that you didn’t have to focus on the needles, or if this feeling was much worse. He was touching such a sensitive area, and you had to try your hardest not to blush or react in any way. 

His finger grazed against your skin, causing you to shiver. He stopped and looked up at you with a concerned look. 

“You okay?” he asked, assuming that was because he just went right over bone. Knowing you’d just stammer your words, you nodded.

But your eyes locked onto his as he looked up at you, and your mind went blank. The look of concern mixed with something you could distinguish in his pretty blue eyes fueled a fire inside you that you needed to extinguish as fast as possible. You blinked and turned your head away, trying to get that look out of your mind. He finally went back to working on your tattoo, and you forced yourself to focus on the pain, needing it as a distraction. 

After about an hour of grueling torture, him constantly being so sweet, and you forcing yourself to keep your mind off him and on the needles repeatedly hitting your skin, he finally finished. 

“Let me just wipe one more time and then you can go check it out,” he said as he scooted his chair back and grabbed the green soap. 

“Okay,” you said, sighing a breath of relief. It wasn’t over just yet, but you finally had a break from the torture. 

He came back over, gave you one last wipe, and then moved back, giving you room to stand so you could check it out. 

You walked over to the mirror and eyed your new piece, a smile forming on your face. It was really good. Not that you hadn’t expected it to be, but it was thankfully worth being so close to him for an hour straight. 

“I love it,” you said with a smile, turning to him. His eyes snapped up from your body and to your face, almost as if he had been caught staring, and he mirrored your smile. 

“I’m glad. Now let me wrap that and I can close up shop,” he said as he quickly turned to grab Saniderm. 

His mind raced as he went to wrap your new tattoo, needing to be quick so you could finally put your shirt down. The last hour had been absolute agony, being so close to such an intimate part of you. He had to use every fiber in his body to keep his focus on your tattoo and not let his eyes glance up at your slightly exposed under-boob. 

You were sitting on Nick’s bed, back pressed against the wall, scrolling on your phone as he worked on his laptop, occasionally typing away as he answered his emails. He said he had to get a few done, and offered to let you hang out in his room with him until the rest of the guys got back from doing who knows what.

You did your best to entertain yourself as he worked, but you mind kept trailing back to how close you two were earlier. How you could almost feel his breath on your skin as he worked on your new tattoo. The way he kept glancing up at you, checking to make sure you felt okay. You couldn’t get that look out of your mind. His pretty eyes just looking up into yours, holding more emotion that he let on. You had been so worked up since the tattoo started, and it wasn’t going away. 

At this point, you had stopped scrolling and were just staring off into space as your mind wandered, imagining the emotions you could get his eyes to portray. Every thought that you had pushed away was now flooding your mind since he wasn’t focused on you, and being alone in his room with him did absolutely no help. 

You finally come back to reality, only to notice him glancing at you in your peripheral. You glance over, but once he realized he had been caught, he quickly focused back onto the screen in front of him, causing a smirk to form on your lips. Was he actually losing focus because of you?

“Getting distracted, Ruffilo?” you teased, causing him to tense slightly at being caught. Your mind was glazed over with how turned on you were, and you couldn’t stop yourself anymore. You just wanted to mess with him. 

He cleared his throat, not taking his eyes off the laptop, and did his best to act nonchalant as he responded, “Huh? Oh. No, just thinking.” 

“Good. You wouldn’t want to miss any important details,” you teased with a smirk still on your lips. He let out a small huff and playfully rolled his eyes as he looked at you. 

“I would never. I’m a professional,” he said, making you bite back a giggle. He was so cute when he tried to play things off.

“Oh, I know,” you responded with an amused smile. He raised an eyebrow at your smile. He did his best to keep a cool demeanor, but couldn’t help but feel a little flustered at your expression. 

“Then why are you teasing me?” he asked, pretending to be annoyed. You gave him a playful scoff. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said, feigning offense, making him chuckle. He turned in his chair and looked at you, crossing his arms. 

“Oh sure you don’t. You’re just the picture of innocence,” he said sarcastically, causing you to giggle. 

“Yeah. That’s one way to put it,” you replied, a smirk tugging on your lips. He couldn’t help but smile at your giggle, it causing a strange warmth in his chest. But your smirk was causing a much more intense reaction in him that he had to hide.

“But you’re awfully sassy for someone who tries to be so innocent,’ he teased, his tone turning playful, with a hint of flirting. He was enjoying this playful banter between you two. 

“Sassy?” you said, trying to hide the amusement in your voice as you raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah. You’ve got quite an attitude on you.” He teased, chuckling at your act. You crossed your arms and tried thinking of the best comeback, but none were coming to you. 

“Well you’re easily distracted.” you finally said, giving him a playful grin. He raised an eyebrow at your comment. He tried to play it off, but there was a pang of embarrassment in his chest.

“Easily distracted? Me? I’m never distracted.” he protested, trying to sound confident.

“Oh yeah? Then how far along are you on those emails?” you teasingly asked, pointing to the laptop sitting on his desk. His eyes glanced over to the laptop, one that showed a half written email, and mentally cursed at himself. He had gotten distracted thinking of you, and then let you distract him even more with the playful bickering.

“I’m…uh…almost done,” he lied, trying to salvage what dignity he had left.

“Oh yeah?” you asked, a laugh escaping your lips. He tried to keep a cool demeanor, but he was getting more flustered as you teased him.

“Yes. I’m serious. I’m almost done,” he repeated, trying to sound more confident this time as he turned back to his laptop. 

“Good, because I’d feel bad if I was the reason you couldn’t get any work done,’ you said, amused. He could feel his face getting more flushed. He tried to come up with a witty comeback, but all he got out was a flustered stammer. 

“Y-you’re not the reason..I just..got distracted, that’s all,” he managed to get out, making you smirk as he finally admitted to being distracted.

“Then what’s got you so distracted?” you playfully asked, causing him to tense up. He didn’t want to admit it, so he tried coming up with the most convincing answer. 

“I don't know..I guess I’m just tired from having to focus on tattooing all day.” he lied, now pretending to be more focused on this half written email on his screen. 

You nodded with a grin on your face, not actually believing him, just having a lot of fun messing with him. He knew you didn’t believe him, but he was just thankful you stopped pushing the issue. He let out a sigh as he started typing again, doing his best to focus on the words, but he couldn’t stop letting his mind travel to you. His eyes involuntarily trailed back to you, causing you to smirk. 

“Do I need to leave?” you teasingly asked, calling attention back to how easily distracted he was. His eyes widened slightly as he realized he had once again been caught staring, so he turned back to the screen, hiding his blushing face. 

“N-no, you’re fine. I’m just..lost in thought,” he said, trying to play off that he was just straight ogling you. You giggled and crawled across the bed, moving closer to him. 

“Whatcha thinkin about?” you asked, in a slightly annoying childish voice, wanting to tease him more. He swallowed hard as he heard you move closer to him. He tried his best to keep his composure.

“N-nothing important,” he lied. His eyes flickered over to you against his will, gauging how close you now were. 

“Well, it’s obviously important enough that it keeps distracting you,” you said, feigning a sweet tone. He let out a soft huff, getting frustrated at how easily you were getting to him. He shifted in his chair, trying to maintain some semblance of control in this situation. 

“It’s not important enough to share, trust me,” he said, his voice slightly strained. He tried keeping his gaze back on his screen as he felt the tension in the room grow thicker by the second, but his eyes trailed to you once more, curious as to why you were so quiet. Once his eyes landed on you, he saw that you were giving him a childish pout. He sighed, knowing that you always did that when you didn’t get your way, but he had to resist telling you the truth. 

“Don’t give me that look,” he said, trying to sound stern, but you giggled when you noticed the amusement in his voice. He let out a defeated sigh and leaned back in his chair as his resolve crumbled away at the sound of your laugh. 

“Fine. You wanna know what I was thinking about? It was you. I was thinking about you, alright?” He said, slightly embarrassed but also annoyed that you actually managed to pull it out of him. 

You raised your eyebrows in shock, not expecting him to be so blunt and say it already. It wasn’t like you didn’t already know, but you were surprised he just came out and told you straight. 

“Oh, you were thinking about me?” you asked, once again bringing back your playful tone. His cheeks flushed more as he realized how bad of an idea it was to admit it. He didn’t want to, but you broke him down so easily. 

“Yes, I was thinking about you,” he repeated, his voice low and gravelly. He kept his gaze on you, gaging your reaction, “You’re driving me crazy, you know that?”

“And what about me were you thinking about?” you asked playfully with a smug smile. This caused him to groan. You had been playing at his frustration and desire all day, and now that he was forced to think about you, he was struggling to keep those thoughts under control. 

“Everything about you. Your smile, your voice, your eyes…everything,” he said, his voice growing huskier. He shifted in his chair again, trying to alleviate the tension in his body. Your eyebrows raised slightly as an amused smile played on your lips. 

“Everything?” you asked, your tone teasing, yet slightly seductive, causing his eyes to darken. He could feel the tension in the room reach its boiling point, and he had to refrain from losing control.

“Yes. Everything,” he repeated, his voice getting closer to a growl as you kept pushing his buttons. He gave himself permission to rake his eyes over your body now that he knew he had nothing to hide, “I can’t get you out of my head, no matter how hard I try.”

“Did this start before or after the tattoo?” you ask, seemingly unaffected by his tone or actions. 

“Before. Long before,” he answered, his voice dripping with desire as he watched you with hungry eyes. He had developed an attraction to you a while ago, but being so close to you as he tattooed you just made it worse. 

“And how did you feel when I told you where the tattoo was gonna be?” you asked. You were enjoying this way too much. Just watching him lose it right in front of you. 

“I was…conflicted. On one hand, I was excited to finally get so close to you, but on the other, I knew it was going to be absolute torture.” he answered. You feigned offense at his playful choice of words. 

“Torture? You saw being so close to me as torture?” you teasingly asked. He couldn’t help but chuckle at your reaction. You had a mischievous glint in your eyes and he knew that you were enjoying this a little too much. 

“Don’t give me that look. You know exactly what I mean,” he said, his tone getting more seductive, “Being so close to you, yet not being able to give in and.. touch you…it drove me insane.” 

“Well looks like you’re gonna have to stay insane,” you teased, shrugging. He was just giving you more and more opportunities to mess with him, so now you were going to keep riling him up and just not give him what he wanted. His eyes darkened more at your words, his smirk fading into more of a frustrated expression. 

“Don’t tease me like that…You have no idea how badly I’ve been wanting to touch you,” he said, his voice dropping to a low husky whisper as he leaned forward. You just gave him a smug smile as you relaxed back, supporting yourself on your hands as you met his gaze with a mischievous look. 

“And that’s why I’m not gonna let you,” you said bluntly. His eyes widened at your serious tone, his face turning into a mixture of desire and determination.

“You’re playing a dangerous game, tempting me like that just to deny me. It’s cruel.” You just shrugged, amused with how easy it was to egg him on. 

“You can’t do anything about it. I won’t let you, so you’re just gonna have to suffer from a distance,” you said nonchalantly with a smirk playing on your lips. He took a deep breath and glared at you. 

“You make it so hard for me to be a gentleman,” he mumbled through gritted teeth, his eyes raking over your body hungrily, “You’re so damn tempting, sitting there all smug and teasing me like that,” 

You let your eyes slowly trail over this figure, seeing how tense and worked up he was, before landing back on his eyes with a mischievous smirk on your lips. He’s making it so easy to get him riled up, and it just makes you more excited to finally break him. You knew this was all an act. He wanted you to think that you had no control over him, but in reality, he was wrapped around your finger. 

“Hey, I said you couldn’t touch me. But if you’re nice, maybe I’ll touch you,” you said in a stern yet seductive voice, getting quieter towards the end. His breath hitched as you spoke and his body tensed at the thought of you touching him. He looked at you with a mix of desire and desperation in his eyes, slowly breaking. 

“You’re killing me here. How can you say something like that and expect me to behave myself?” he said, his voice straining as he struggled to maintain his composure. You so badly wanted to make a face, finally cracking down on his faux dominance, but you knew exactly what you could do to get him to finally break. You gave him a teasing pitiful pout.

“Because you wanna be a good boy for me, don’t you?” you asked in a soft teasing yet seductive tone. His eyes widened as the words left your mouth. He swallowed hard, doing his best to keep his composure, but his mind and body had already given in. It took a few moments for him to respond, but he gave in.

“Y-yes…I wanna be a good boy for you..” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. A proud smile formed on your lips, happy that you finally got to him. 

You scooted back on the bed, creating a space for him, before patting the spot next to you. He hesitated for a moment, his eyes darting between your face and the spot on the bed. He was torn between his desire to give in to your every whim, and his pride, but ultimately, the desire won and he slowly stood up and walked to the bed. 

He sat stiffly, trying to maintain some semblance of control over himself, but his body was tense with anticipation. He looked at you with a mixture of nervousness and excitement in his eyes, waiting for your next move. Taking that as a sign to continue, you softly pushed against his shoulders until he was now lying down in front of you. He didn’t resist, but just tensed at your touch. He watched you intensely, his heart racing in his chest as he waited to see what you would do next. He felt vulnerable in this position, completely at someone’s mercy for the first time, but there was a sense of trust and excitement in his eyes. 

Enjoying the adorable man completely giving himself to you, you gave him a warm smile as you softly started tracing your fingers against his stomach, trailing them over his hips and down his legs, giving him a glimpse of the new dynamic. His breath hitched at your touch, his skin felt extra sensitive as he was not used to being so vulnerable, but also loving it.

“Now remember, no touching,” you said softly yet sternly as you looked into his eyes.  

“I..I won’t touch you…I promise,” he said, his trembling voice barely above a whisper. His body felt like it was shaking with desire, but he was determined to be good for you. 

You gave him a soft smile and a quiet, ‘Good boy,’ as you continued teasing your fingers across his body. He just watched and took in the feeling as you started trailing your fingers down to the hem of his shirt. You hooked your fingers under and pulled up until there was just a delicious thin strip of bare skin between his waistband and shirt, and softly traced your fingers over it, watching his reaction as you teased him. 

Nick’s eyes fluttered shut and a soft gasp caught in his throat as he felt your fingers brush against his bare skin. He could feel his body responding to your touch, his skin tingling with every gentle graze of your fingers. He was completely under our spell and he knew it. He let out a shaky breath and opened his eyes to look up at you, his gaze filled with desire and submission. 

You bit back a smirk as you caught his gaze. You knew that he was falling deeper and deeper under your control and you loved it. You looked back down to where your fingers traced against his skin and slowly moved them up, bringing the shirt with them. He watched as you slowly lifted his shirt, exposing more and more of his skin to your touch. He could feel the heat rising in his body, and his breathing grew heavier with each passing second. 

You were going to tease him for as long as he let you, so once the shirt lifted to right above his navel, you leaned down and started softly littering kisses on his bare skin. His breath hitched as he felt your lips touch his skin. The sensation flooding his mind, and a low groan rumbled in his chest. His eyes closed as his body overreacted to your touch. 

“That feels so good…” he managed to whisper out, his voice thick with desire. He wanted to touch you so badly, to get you to speed up, but he knew he had to resist. He was determined to let you take the lead, even if it killed him. 

You looked up at him with a playful gaze as you started trailing kisses higher and higher, lifting the shirt with you. You just wanted to see how long it was going to take him to start begging for more. As he felt your lips trail up and his shirt rise, he opened his eyes and looked down, meeting yours. He had a look of desperation and admiration, and you could tell this was slowly driving him insane. 

“Please…don’t stop,” he begged, his voice ragged. He was struggling to keep his composure as his body tensed and trembled with desire. He was completely under your spell, willing to do anything to keep feeling your touch. 

Once his stomach and chest were on full display, you continued to litter his skin with soft kisses, occasionally licking and nipping at sensitive spots. This caused him to lose himself in a haze of pleasure, his body responding to your every touch. He let out a string of low moans and soft gasps and his back arched, pressing himself against your lips more.

“F-fuck…you’re driving me crazy,” he managed to gasp out, his voice laced with need and desire. 

You were enjoying the sight of him falling apart under your touch, so you slowly started upping your game. Trailing kisses back down his chest and stomach, you slid your hand onto his thigh, softly rubbing it, moving your hand up and down, and occasionally rubbing his inner thigh. He let out a soft gasp as his body started responding to your touch, his muscles tensing and his breath picking up. Enjoying his reactions, you started moving your hand higher, getting a little too close to his growing bulge. He let out a strangled moan as his hips involuntarily bucked slightly in response. 

“Please…please don’t tease me like that,” he pleaded, his voice almost a whine and filled with desperation. He was growing more and more frustrated and desperate with each passing moment, his body aching for your touch. 

“Be a good boy for me, baby,” you said softly, with a slightly demanding tone. As much as you enjoyed his begging, you’d never give in. You were going to make a mess of him. 

Nick shuttered at your words, his body responding instinctively to your command. He wanted to be good for you, to obey your every whim. He clenched his fists tightly, trying to regain control over himself. 

“I-I’m trying…I’m trying to be good,” he gasped out, his voice strained. He could feel the tension building inside of him, the need for more growing stronger by the second. 

Humming appreciatively, your kisses started getting lower, now running along his waistband, and your hand moved higher, now brushing against his bulge. He let out a shaky airy moan, jolts of pleasure shooting through his body every time he felt you moved your hand. 

“Oh god… you’re killing me,” he whimpered. His body trembled in anticipation, him wanting nothing more than for you to touch him, to give him the release he so desperately needed. 

A small giggle erupted from your throat, the vibrations traveling to his sensitive skin. You lifted your head and just watched him as you started softly palming him through his jeans. A strangled moan left his lips as he felt the heat and pressure of your hand against him. Every time you rubbed your hand against him, he let out a small gasp, his body tensing in response.

“Please, baby…more…I need it so badly,” he begged, a desperate, pathetic whimper. 

“Beg all you want, my love, you’re gonna get what I give you,” you said with a slightly stern tone. He whimpered again at your tone, his body submitting to your will. He knew there was no use in begging, but he couldn’t help himself. The need for your touch was overwhelming, and he would do anything to feel your hands on him. 

“I’ll be good…I’ll do whatever you want,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. He looked at you with pleading eyes, silently begging you to take pity on him. 

His eyes just made you want to tease him more. This was becoming too fun for you. To have so much control over him that he could look up at you with those pretty eyes, begging you to help him. It was like a drug, and you just wanted more. 

Keeping your eyes on his, you leaned back down and pressed your lips on the waistband of his pants, and slowly kissed closer and closer to his aching bulge. He watched with a bated breath as your lips moved closer. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, his body tense with anticipation. He desperately wanted you to touch him, to give him the release he craved so badly. He let out a shaky moan once you were so close yet so far from where he needed you the most. 

You gave him one final look, before placing a sloppy open mouth kiss against the height of his bulge. He let out a loud moan the second your lips finally made contact with it. The feeling of your warm mouth through the fabric was almost too much to bear, and he couldn’t stop himself as he bucked his hips up against you. 

“Oh god..yes…please..” he gasped out, his voice laced with need and desperation. He was completely at your mercy now, unable to control the way his body responded to you. 

Pleased with his reaction, you decided to step it up a notch and softly sink your teeth into it. Not enough to hurt him, but just enough for him to really feel you through the fabric. He let out a strangled cry. The sensation was both shocking and pleasurable, sending a jolt of electricity through his body. His body shuttered as his hips bucked, desperately trying to get more friction.

“F-fuck…do that again…please..” he gasped. He was completely lost in the moment, completely lost in your touch. 

Even though you said you wouldn’t give in to his commands, you enjoyed the reaction too much. You softly pressed your teeth into him again, this time running your tongue along the fabric between them. He let out a loud moan as you did it again, the sensation of your tongue sending shivers down his spine. He was practically writhing beneath you now, his body wracked with pleasure. 

“God…I can’t take it anymore…please..let me cum..I need to come so badly,” he pleaded, his voice hoarse and desperate. The feeling was too much and he was ready to explode at any moment. You lifted your head and looked at him, giving him a pathetic pitiful look.

“I haven’t even touched you yet, and you’re already about to cum?” you asked condescendingly. He let out a strangled whimper at your words, his face flushing with embarrassment. He knew it was pathetic, but he couldn’t help it. He was so pent up, so desperate for release.

“I-I know…I’m sorry..I just can’t help it,” He said, his voice trembling. He looked up at you with pleading eyes, silently begging for mercy, “Please…just touch me…I need to feel your hands on me..”

You raised an eyebrow as you brought your hand back to his bulge, softly palming him again, giving him a small sliver of what he was begging for.

“And why should I do that?” you asked. He let out a shaky breath as he felt your hand on him again. His hips arched up against your hand, desperate for more friction. 

“Because…because I’ve been good for you. I’ve been doing everything you asked..please..just give me a reward..” He begged. He was practically panting now, his body trembling with desire. 

“Oh, you want a reward? After all the begging and commands for more, you think you deserve a reward” you asked, your tone condescending yet teasing. You hooked your leg over his and moved to straddle his thighs as a way to get more of an advantage on him. You began palming him again, this time much lighter so he couldn’t get as much pleasure from it, causing a whine of frustration to leave his lips. It was torture, and he could feel himself getting even more worked up. 

“Please..I’ve been a good boy. I’ve done everything you asked…I need this so badly,” he begged, his voice shaking with need as he looked up at you with pleading eyes. Smirking at his desperation, you moved your hand up to the waistband of his jeans, popping the button then unzipping them. You looked back up at him as your fingers started toying with the waistband of his boxers. 

“I don’t know. You’ve been pretty naughty, always bucking your hips even when I told you that you had to be good and not try to touch me,” you teased. He could feel his heart racing as you played with the waistband of his boxers and your words sending a shiver down his spine. 

“I’m sorry…I couldn’t help it. You just feel so good,” he gasped out, his voice barely above a whisper. He was desperate, willing to get on his hands and knees if it meant you’d give him the release he so desperately craved. You finally hooked your fingers under his waistband. 

“You gonna be a good boy and let me touch you?” you asked, your voice raspy with seduction. His eyes locked onto yours as he swallowed hard. 

“Yes..I’ll be good..Just please..please touch me..” he pleaded, his voice shaking with desire. He would do anything to feel your hands on him. Absolutely anything. You start to pull his pants and boxers down, but stop, right before his tip could peek out. It couldn’t hurt to keep teasing him, right?

“You know, I don’t know if I believe you. Maybe you should beg some more,” you said, looking back into his eyes with a mischievous look. He looked at you with pleading eyes, his desperation evident. He could feel the cold air on the sensitive skin of his tip, and it was driving him crazy. 

“Please…I’ll do anything. I’ll get on my knees and beg if I have to. Just please touch me. I need it so badly. I need to feel your hands on me. I’ll be good. I promise.” A smile formed on your lips on your lip at his begging.

As much as you’d love to see him on his knees, begging to be touched, you figured you could just give it to him. You pulled down his pants and boxers more, just enough for his cock to spring out. The tip was red, hot, and desperate for attention. He let out a sigh of relief as you freed his aching cock. He looked up at you with a mix of desperation and gratitude.

“..Thank you…” he whispered out, his voice trembling. He could feel the cold air on his exposed cock, and it was driving him wild. He wanted you to touch him so badly, to relieve the intense pressure that had been building inside him.

He let out a low moan as you ran your fingers against his sensitive skin, his body tensing at the touch. He closed his eyes, his breathing ragged and uneven. As you wrap your hand around him and brush your hand over the tip, he let out a gasp, his hips bucking up involuntarily. 

“Oh god…that feels so good..” he groaned, his voice thick with pleasure. 

A string of curses escapes his lips as you start loosely pumping his cock, the feeling of your hand dragging against his skin sending waves of pleasure through his body. He tried to keep his hips still, but they kept bucking into your touch, seeking more friction. 

“Please…more…I need more,” he gasped out, voice hoarse with need. You stopped your movements and looked up at him.

“Stop moving and begging or else I’ll stop,” you said, your voice stern and condescending. He whimpered at your command, his body going rigid as he forced himself to stop moving. He opened his eyes and looked up at you, his expression pleading. 

“I’ll be good, I promise. I won’t move or beg…just please…don’t stop,” he pleaded with a trembling voice. He desperately wanted to obey your orders, wanting to prove that he could be good for you. That he deserved this.

Humming contently at his words, you shift your position, now moving your hips closer to his until the base of his cock was pressed right against your covered core. He let out a strangled moan as you moved. He could feel the heat radiating off of you, and it was driving him crazy. He wanted to thrust his hips up against you, but he forced himself to stay still, remembering your command. 

“Please…can I touch you? Just a little bit?” he begged.

“Good boy for asking, but no,” you said with a teasing smile. He let out a frustrated groan as you denied his request, but quickly forgot about it as you started rocking your hips against his cock, rubbing yourself against him. The feeling of your heat against him was almost too much to handle, and he had to fight the urge to grab your hips and pull you closer. 

“God…you’re so cruel..” he gasped out. You giggled as you stopped your movements. 

“Cruel? My love, you better watch your mouth,” you said with a mischievous grin. He swallowed hard as he realized what he had done. He knew he was pushing his luck, but he couldn’t help it. He was so desperate for you, so needy. 

“I’m sorry..I didn’t mean it. You’re not cruel, you’re just…driving me crazy,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. He stared at you with his signature pleading eyes, begging for you to continue. 

You softly giggled at his apology. He just gave you a perfect opening to mess with him just a little bit more. He watched as you slid off his lap and stood beside the bed, a whimper escaping his lips, worried he actually ruined his chance at release. He looked at you with a look of curiosity and frustration, wondering what you were planning next. With your eyes still on his, you slowly moved your hands to your pants and undid them, before slowly pulling them down and stepping out of them. His eyes widened as you were now left in only underwear. 

With a smirk, you crawled back into the position you were in before, straddling his hips. He felt his cock twitch as he watched you and felt your bare legs now pressed against his hips. 

“Fuck…you’re killing me,” he groaned, his hands gripping the sheets tightly. 

He let out a low moan as you grabbed his cock and positioned it against your wet panty-covered core. The feeling of your wetness against him was too much to bear, and he involuntarily bucked his hips again. 

“Please..I need to feel you..no more teasing.” He pleaded, his voice thick with desperation and need. 

“I was gonna let you touch me, but since you keep making commands and bucking into me, I guess I won’t,” you said looking down at him sternly. His eyes widened as you spoke, making him curse under his breath, regretting his actions. 

“No, no, no..I’m sorry..please. I won’t do it again, I promise. I’ll be good. Just please..please please let me touch you,” he begged, his hands still gripping the sheets tightly. He was desperate to feel your skin against his, to feel the warmth and softness of your body. You hummed as you debated his words. 

“Thighs only,” you said as you watched the way he gripped the sheets below him. He let out a sigh of relief as you agreed to let him touch your thighs, albeit just your thighs. He let go of the sheets and reached up to grip your thighs, his hands finally being able to slide up and down your soft skin. 

“Thank you…thank you so much..” he whispered, his fingers softly digging into your flesh. He massaged and gripped at your thighs gently, trying to show you how grateful he was for even this small amount of contact. 

You hummed at the feeling of his large hands on your thighs. Slowly and softly, you began rocking your hips as you watched him. Nick let out a shaky breath at the feeling of your core rubbing against him, driving him insane. He gripped your thighs tighter, his fingers digging into your skin as he fought the urge to thrust up against you.

“God…you feel so good. I wish I could feel you without these damn panties in the way,” he groaned through gritted teeth, his voice strained with need. Pleased with his reaction, and secretly agreeing with him, you slipped your hand down and slid your panties to the side. 

“Your wish is my command, my love,” you said as you pressed your now bare pussy against him. A loud moan left his lips as he watched. The feeling of your bare skin against his was almost too much to handle, and he couldn’t hold back much longer. 

“Oh..f-fuck..that’s so much better,” he gasped out, his hands sliding up to grip your hips, pulling you closer.

“Hey. Thighs only, remember?” you said sternly. You enjoy the way he pulled you, but you couldn’t have him thinking he can just get away with doing what he wants. He quickly let go of your hips, grumbling in frustration, but obeyed your command and brought his hands back to your thighs.

“Sorry..you just feel so good..I couldn’t help myself..I want to feel all of you..” he whimpered. 

“Be a good boy, and you will,” you said as you started moving your hips again. He fit so perfectly between your folds and rested perfectly against your clit, rubbing it every time you moved. 

He watched as you moved, his eyes fixed on the spot where you were connected. The feeling of your slick folds against his sensitive skin was almost too much, and he could feel himself getting closer to the edge. 

“I’ll be good..I promise. I’ll be the best boy for you, just please..don’t stop,” he gasped out. He gripped your thighs tightly, trying to control himself and not buck his hips again. 

You held him closer to your core, applying more pressure. You hummed a moan, loving the feeling of him rubbing against your clit. He groaned as he felt his cock throbbing against you. He could feel your arousal dripping down his shaft, and it was driving him wild. He wanted nothing more than to grab your hips and thrust up into you, but he knew he had to be patient and wait for your permission. 

The pleasure of his cock dragging against you was so nice, and you needed more. You let go of him and moved up his hips more, your core now right above him, and started grinding into him. Soft moans escaped your lips as you felt him rubbing through your folds and against your clit so perfectly. His eyes widened, and he let out a guttural moan, the feeling of your slickness against him becoming too much to bear. He could feel your arousal coating his cock, and he desperately wanted to be inside you. 

“Fuck…you’re so wet…so hot..” he gasped out, his hands gripping your thighs even tighter. 

The feeling of his hands gripping you in pleasure and need just added to the feeling, causing you to speed up your movements and applying more pressure, needing to feel him against you more. His hands gripped your thighs tight enough that you wouldn’t be surprised if they left a bruise, the pressure and friction against his cock becoming almost unbearable. He could feel his release building up inside him, but he fought it, not wanting this moment to end. 

“Please..I need more, I need to be inside you, I need to feel you clenching around me,” he pleaded, his foggy mind causing him to whine. You couldn’t agree more. He let out a gasp as you grabbed his cock and positioned it at your entrance, the feeling of the tip pressing against your slick heat sending shivers down his spine. He looked up at you with pleading eyes, silently begging you to continue. 

“Please…please let me inside. I’ll do anything,” he pathetically whimpered. 

You slowly lowered yourself onto him, causing him to let out a frustrated groan as you teased him. He could feel his cock twitching as you slowly took him, desperate for more.

“You’re torturing me..please..I need to feel all of you,” he begged, his hands returning to your hips and desperately grabbing at them. You wanted to scold him again, but felt as if you teased him enough, so you let it slide as you finally sank down on him. 

Nick let out a loud moan as your hips met, the feeling of your tight walls enveloping him was overwhelming. He gripped your hips tightly, his fingers digging into your skin as he tried to hold back from thrusting up into you.

“Oh..god..you feel so good,” he gasped out, his eyes rolling back in pleasure. 

You grabbed one of his hands and brought it to your core, causing his eyes to shoot back to you as you pressed his fingers against your clit. Quickly understanding, he began rubbing circled against your sensitive nub as you began moving up and down. 

“Oh yes..just like that,” he groaned, his other hand gripping your hip tightly as he tried to hold on for as long as possible. 

A low moan left your lips. The feeling of him filling you up so perfectly, mixed with him rubbing your clit was mind-numbing. You involuntarily clenched around him in pleasure, causing a strangled moan to leave his lips. The feeling of your walls tightening around him almost sending him over the edge. He continued rubbing you, but his movements became more erratic as he fought to hold back his own release. 

“You’re so tight… squeezing me so good..” he gasped out, his eyes locked on where his cock was disappearing inside you. 

You couldn’t fight back the sounds that wanted to escape your lips. He just felt so good and you could feel yourself getting closer. You just needed a little more. 

“Nick?” you whimpered out, causing his eyes to shoot up and meet yours with a dark look of desire. 

“Yes, my love?” he asked, his voice hoarse with need. He continued rubbing you, his fingers moving faster and harder against you, hoping to bring you closer to your release. You had to fight back gasps as you said the words you knew he wanted to hear. 

“Fuck me,” you sternly pleaded, needing him to take over. His eyes widened at your plea, his heart racing in his chest. He had been holding back for so long, so he couldn’t resist any longer.

“With pleasure,” he growled as his hand moved back to your hip, his grip tightening as he began to thrust up into you, meeting your movements with powerful strokes. 

Instantly, loud moans left your lips as you brought your hands up to his chest, leaning on him for support as you gave him full control. He groaned as you gave him a better angle to thrust into you. He could feel your body trembling, and he knew you were getting close. 

“That’s it, baby…Let go. I’ve got you,” he grunted, his thrusts becoming faster and harder as he pounded into you relentlessly, finally not having to hold back anymore. 

Your eyes squeezed shut and your eyebrows furrowed as pleasure coursed through your body with each thrust. Your release was approaching faster and faster. He could feel you clenching around him, and he knew you were getting close. 

“You’re so close, I can feel it. Cum for me, baby. I want to feel you cum all over my cock,” he growled, his own release rapidly approaching. 

With a few more thrusts, you came undone. A loud moan fell from your lips as your head dropped and pleasure took over your body. Nick watched as your body shook in pleasure and he let out a loud groan as he felt your walls spasming around him, the sensation officially pushing him over the edge. 

“F-fuck,” he grunted, his hips stuttering as he thrust up into you a few more times before spilling himself inside you, his cock pulsing as he emptied himself inside you. 

Another loud moan left your lips as you felt his hot cum spill into you. You involuntarily clenched around him more, milking every last drop before collapsing onto his chest. 

He wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly against his chest as he tried to catch his breath. He could feel your heart beating wildly against his own, and he couldn’t help but smile at the feeling of being so close to you. 

“Fuck…that was amazing,” he mumbled, his voice hoarse from exertion. He ran his fingers through your hair and gently stroked your back as he basked in the afterglow of your orgasms.

Once you both finally calmed down, your heartbeats gradually slowing down as you came down from your high, he pressed a gentle kiss on the top of your head, feeling a wave of affection wash over him. 

“You’re amazing, my love,” he murmured against your hair, his fingers still gently running through it. You hummed at his praise and affection, bathing in the dopamine. He chuckled softly at your response, his hands now tracing soothing circles on your back. 

“You’re so quiet now. I think I wore you out,” he teased. A smirk formed on your lips. There was no way you were going to let him bask in that small moment of dominance. You looked up at him and placed a hand on his cheek, ready to pull out your winning move. 

“Yeah, you were such a good boy, Nick,” you said softly, giving him a proud look. His eyes widened and he felt a slight shiver run down his spine, loving the praise. 

“You think I’m a good boy?” he asked, a hint of playfulness in his voice as he leaned into your touch. You softly brushed your thumb against his cheek. 

“Such a good boy. Listening to me and making me feel so good,” you said with a teasing seductive tone, softly clenching around him still inside you to really prove your point. He let out a low moan, his cock still sensitive from his orgasm. He couldn’t help but feel a rush of pleasure at your words and actions. 

“Oh god..don’t..don’t do that. You’re gonna get me worked up again,” he groaned, his grip on you tightening slightly as he tried to control himself. You giggled mischievously at his reaction. 

“And we wouldn’t want that, would we?” you asked playfully. Nick shook his head, a mixture of amusement and frustration on his face. 

“No, we wouldn’t. But you’re making it so hard to behave right now,” he said, his voice low and gravelly. He shifted slightly underneath you, trying to adjust himself so he wasn’t so sensitive, but it was difficult with you still wrapped around him. You hummed, amused. He was just making this too easy. 

“You’re a good boy, Nick, I know you’ll behave,” you said softly as you ‘absentmindedly’ shifted into a ‘more comfortable position’, so your hips were slightly raised, him still halfway inside you.

Nick let out a soft groan, his cock twitching as you shifted. He could feel your breath on his chest, and the feeling of your body pressed against him was driving him crazy. He tried to calm himself down, taking deep breaths and focusing on your words. 

“I’m trying..but it’s not easy when you’re being so tempting,” he muttered, his hands moving to your hips, gently rubbing circles against your skin. 

You giggled softly. This wasn’t anywhere near over for him. He was smug now, but you were going to break him until he cried. With your head still lying on his chest and a sweet smile on your lips, you very slowly started moving your hips. Pressing them down torturously slow so he sank back into you, then lifting them so he dragged back out of you. He let out a strangled moan, the slow and deliberate movements driving him crazy. He gripped you hips tightly, trying to control himself as you teased him. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me, you know that?” he groaned out, his eyes closed as he tried to focus on anything but the feeling of your body against his. 

“Just be a good boy and ignore me,” you said sweetly as you continued your movements, loving the feeling of him slowly dragging in and out of you. 

He let out a low growl, his fingers digging into your hips as he fought to follow your instructions. He desperately wanted to thrust up into you, to take control and make you his, but he knew that you were testing him. And he couldn’t let himself disobey your orders. 

“It’s not that easy,” he said through gritted teeth, his eyes fixed on the way your ass moved up and down on him. 

“Just think of anything but the feeling of your cock slowly pumping in and out of me,” you teased, your tone full of faux innocence. His eyes darkened at your words and he let out a frustrated huff. 

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you? Torturing me like this?” he asked, his voice laced with both desire and annoyance. He tried to think of anything else, but everytime he closed his eyes, all he could see was the image of you riding him. 

“Torturing you would be forcing you to stop touching me again,” you teased, a mischievous smile forming on your face. His grip on your hips tightened as his eyes snapped open and looked at you. 

“Don’t you dare,” he said, his voice low and serious. You were right, but he was already struggling to control himself as is. 

Hearing his challenge, you lifted yourself so now you were holding yourself up on your hands and knees, able to easily rock back and forth to continue teasing him. His breath hitched in his throat, this angle making it even more difficult to resist the urge to thrust up into you. You looked straight into his eyes with a mischievous look. 

“Don’t challenge me, love. I absolutely will if I have to,” you said, your tone condescending yet seductive. 

“You’re such a brat, you know that?” he growled, his voice low and husky. Despite his frustration, he couldn’t help but find your confidence and control arousing. You brought your hand to his jaw and held it, forcing him to look at you. 

“Now now. Don’t be mean. I could make this absolute torture for you,” you said sternly with a smirk. His eyes narrowed as his gaze was locked on yours. He knew you had the upper hand in this situation, but he couldn’t help but feel a mix of frustration and excitement at your dominance, wanting to test it. 

“And what exactly would you do to me, hm?” he asked, his voice dripping with defiance. You raised an eyebrow at his tone. 

“You really wanna know?” you asked, your tone both teasing yet threatening. His expression darkened, a hint of a challenge in his eyes. 

“Yes, I do. I want to know what you’d do to punish me for being mean,” he said, his voice low and dangerous. He couldn’t resist the temptation to push your buttons, even if it meant getting himself in trouble. 

You let out a huff at his bratty attitude. Within a blink of an eye, you grabbed his wrists and held them above his head as you fully sunk down on him, using your body weight as leverage to keep him pinned. He gasped as you moved. He struggled against your grip, but found that he couldn’t break free. And the feeling of being completely inside of you again caused a moan to rumble deep in his chest. 

“Oh god..you’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?” he said through gritted teeth, his eyes locked on yours with a mixture of desire and frustration. You leaned down so your lips were close to his ear. 

“You tested me. You wanted to be a naughty boy, so now you’re stuck like this,” you whispered harshly into his ear, causing him to shuttered and tense beneath you. He couldn’t tell if he hated being restrained like this, or if it turned him on even more. 

“I-I didn’t mean to be naughty. I can’t help myself when you’re being such a brat,” he protested weakly, his hips twitching as he tried to move against you. 

He was really pushing his luck now. You tightly clenched around him in punishment as he called you a brat again. He let out a low groan, the feeling of your tight walls gripping him making it difficult for him to think straight. He finally gave in.

“Watch it.” you said sternly. 

“Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean to call you a brat. You’re just so damn irresistible when you’re in control like this,” he whimpered out, a hint of frustration in his tone. 

“I’m glad you enjoy it, because now you’re stuck like this. I’m not moving,” you said harshly. He let out a frustrated whine at your words. 

“You can’t leave me like this. I need more. I need to feel you moving on me,” he pleaded, his hips shifting beneath you in a futile attempt to get some friction. You just pressed your hips into his more as your grip on his wrists tightened.

“I can do as I please. And it’s not so bad right? Feeling my tight pussy around you as you’re restrained to the bed. You get to think about the way you came in me. The way you thrusted in me and how I moaned in pleasure. The way my body shook as I came around your cock,” you whispered in his ear, your voice both seductive and menacing.

He let out a low whine as you effectively immobilized him. Your words sent shivers down his spine and he could feel his cock twitch inside you as he thought about everything you said. 

“You’re evil,” he whined, his breath coming out in ragged gasps as he struggled against your grip on his wrists. 

“That’s what you get when you’re a naughty boy. You’re lucky you even get to feel me. I could tie you to this bed as I play with my pussy in front of you and never let you touch me,” you whispered menacingly into his ear. His eyes widened at your threat, and he felt a pang of desperation in his chest. 

“No, no, please don’t do that. I’ll be good, I probably. I’ll be your good boy,” he said quickly, his voice a pleading whine. The thought of being denied any further contact with you was too much to bear. 

“Oh? So you wanna be a good boy again?” you ask condescendingly. He nodded vigorously, his expression full of submission. 

“Yes, yes, I do. I’ll do anything you say. I’ll be your good boy, your obedient slave. Just please, please let me touch you. Let me feel you,” he begged, his voice trembling with desperation. A small amused huff left your lips. 

“Sorry, my love. You haven’t proved yourself just yet. But I’ll give you a chance. No touching. No moving. Got it?” you asked him sternly. He let out a frustrated growl, but nodded in defeat. 

“I got it. No touching and no moving. I’ll stay still like a good boy,” he said, his voice tinged with resignation. He was desperate for your touch, but he knew he had to obey your rules if he wanted any chance of being rewarded. 

You let out a hum of appreciation as you began moving your hips again. He let out a sigh of relief, his eyes fluttering shut in pleasure. He clenched his fists, fighting the urge to move. Instead, he focused on your words and kept his hands firmly pinned above his head, even though every fiber in his being was screaming for him to try and touch you.

You two finished cleaning yourselves up and getting dressed again. You were cuddling on his bed, whispering sweet things to him, praising him and complimenting him. Telling him how good he was and how pretty his eyes looked when he looked up at you like that. He just softly hummed at your praise, staring up at you in adoration as you spoke. 

That’s when you heard the door downstairs close and a stampede of feet come into the house, causing you two to scramble up and out of his bed. You both took one last look at yourselves, making sure the previous event wasn’t painstakingly obvious, before opening his bedroom door and going back to the places you were before. Him on his laptop and you nonchalantly scrolling on his bed. 

You heard footsteps coming up the stairs and turned to the door to see a smiling Noah appear. 

“Show me the new tat,” he said excitedly, causing you to laugh.

You sat up and lifted your shirt, holding it right below your bra. He got closer and looked at it smiling. 

“That’s sick! It really fits you. Nick did a good job,” he said as he examined it. You smiled and turned to Nick, who was watching you two. 

“Yeah. He did really good,” you said, secretly winking at Nick since Noah’s eyes were focused on your new piece. 

Nick blushed and turned back to his laptop as Noah stood back up and looked at you. But then his eyes caught something. 

“And what’s that?” he said, a smirk forming on his face as he pointed to your neck. The fresh love bite, still forming on your skin.

[lyculuscaelus]

Just a gentle reminder that EPIC the Musical is a musical. It’s not a movie script, not a play adaptation, but a musical itself. Which means, to talk about it with anything less is inorganic, is missing an important piece of the story itself. Because it’s not just the lyrics that display the scene—music tells its own story too.

The way the soundscape for each saga (and sometimes different songs themselves) is so unique that it creates the atmosphere for this certain event almost immediately, the experience of which you cannot go through merely by reading the script. With the Cyclops Saga we have a dark and edgy theme, with the Circe Saga we have a more tropical (mostly due to the drums) and at the same time elegant one (due to the strings), with the Underworld Saga we have this very gloomy theme which is straight up Underworld feels…this is very common for music, but it’s just something you won’t get from the script.

The way the delivery of so many lines is so good that you can feel the emotions so vividly—something lyrics alone can’t display. (Which is also the reason why there’re so many lamenting paragraphs in tragic plays and why there’re pauses between spoken lines in writings where writers describe the expression and movement of characters.) The way you can hear the anguish and desperation in the delivery of so many lines from Mutiny, the way you can feel the emotional struggle of Odysseus at the end of Thunder Bringer in the way Jay sings…there’re so many moments where you just feel the raw emotions coming from those lines that you can’t experience it by reading the lyrics and interpreting with wild guesses.

The way the reoccurring motifs and riffs tell so many things that lyrics won’t is already well-known. Danger is nearby motif already gives you the alert of what is to come; storm motif depicts a harsh encounter on sea that it captures that moment so well; that specific motif from those three songs (the beginning of the second verse of The Horse and the Infant, the first and second verse of Survive, the beginning of the second half of Mutiny) is foretelling the turning point of events (and also asking someone to kill the other being)…and then we have characters’ own motifs. Odysseus’s cunning motif shows the moment where he plots the course of action; Athena’s Warrior of the Mind motif already indicates her appearance and more; Polites’s Open Arms motif just destroys your emotions cuz why not; Eurylochus’s Luck Runs Out motif shows the development of the dynamics between him and his Captain…there’re so many to rant about that I just can’t put them all in this one post. As for the riffs, the most famous one is of course the way Athena and Odysseus and Telemachus sing “miiiiind”/“fiiiiiine”/etc. as Jay has already yapped about in his video, which just shows the dynamics between these three characters so perfectly. Hey look, another thing which the script won’t tell you.

And then we have these characters’ own instruments. I don’t even think I’ll need to elaborate on this one. Most of you have known that already and understood how genius this idea is even though it’s not Jay who came up with it. This is totally something you can only experience in the music itself, but meanwhile it says a lot about the scene already. As in Done For where Odysseus’s electric guitar continues playing under Circe’s lines which indicates he has taken hold of the situation already (even though temporarily). It might be a minor thing, but still it’s very well-thought, and sometimes even foreshadowing (like how Poseidon’s trumpets have already shown up in Storm).

…

There’re so many things to rant about this musical that a single post is far from enough to discuss them all. Here I’m only pointing out that EPIC is an organic combination of lyrics and music (and action when it comes to stage production which I believe it will eventually) that it’s impossible to treat them separately while still getting the whole story right. Once again, the piece you’re talking about is not a stage play—it’s a musical that is epic.

[thefloatingstone]

I would love to hear about the Flanderisation of Ghibli movies if you're willing to revisit the topic for someone who wasn't in the stream. The term is something I only just learned about recently and I'm really curious how it applied to Ghibli.

Only if you want to, though! I hope the stream was fun for you and everyone else.

Ah I was talking about a tumblr post speaking about this specific thing. How people in the internet really like to emphasise Ghibli movies as

"Oh cottagecore vibes! So cozy!"

And I had someone in my chat ask "are all Ghibli movies just cozy? Because I want to watch them but I need something with a little more teeth." And I had to assure them that aside from Ponyo, Kiki and MAYBE Totoro, Ghibli movies are NOT just cozy cottagecore feel good films and do actually have a LOT of substance to them.

And I don't blame the chat member for thinking ALL Ghibli is that kind of vibe because that is the way the internet as a whole have flanderised the Ghibli movies. Because a LOT of the Ghibli films deal with topics that are not cozy comfort films. Almost every Ghibli film has anti-war messaging, or a plea for nature conservation, or in some way or another a balance getting thrown off that needs correcting.

Sometimes a Ghibli movie is about the friction of different ideologies with no villain or bad guy, like Mononoke. Sometimes it's about responsibilities regarding the long term damage of war and the destruction of the environment like Nausicaa. Sometimes it's about post-war trauma and being anti-fascist like Porco Rosso. Sometimes it's about preserving nature in the face of progress like Pom Poko. Sometimes it's about overcoming the fear of new environments and experiences like Spirited Away. Sometimes it's about losing your passion for something when you make your passion your job like Kiki.

But the internet doesn't like focusing on those parts of Ghibli movies. They want to focus on the soft, comfortable, easily digestible parts of the Ghibli films. Which is why I am convinced Ponyo is probably one of the most popular Ghibli films in the US. You know. The one Ghibli made for toddlers.

Or Howl's Moving Castle which I don't consider to be a good movie. But even Howl's Moving castle has anti-war themes in it. It just takes a very big back-seat to the plot around Sophie. But even that is not what people focus on when they talk about it. The main focus most people have on Howl's Moving Castle is the "romance" between Howl and Sophie which is about as style over substance as you can get. I'm so sorry but it is.

If you look up "Ghibli" on most social media sites you're gonna get a LOT of results, but none of them are going to focus on the actual substance of the films or what they are inherently about at their core. Which is most often humanity and life affirming even or especially in the face of cruelty. Or it will be about the disregard of nature. Not so much from an conservationist perspective, but simply from a perspective of the lack of reverence society currently has of nature.

[Mononoke-hime Theater Program, July 1997]

But all of this substance has been lost when people talk about Ghibli movies in the public space in favour of The aesthetic.

To the point where I have people in my chat asking me if Ghibli HAS any substance to it. Or if they really are just nothing but comfort cozy cottagecore films.

[princess-glassred]

Alright hot take incoming:

Beverly Marsh in it 2017 is a terribly written female character and i'm tired of pretending like she's not.

As a woman, I love Bev in fics, I love 90's bev, I love fannon Bev, and this is no discredit to Sophia Lillis as an actor, or even 2017 Bev's personality, but it 2017 Bev is a perfect example of a character being fine but everything else about her being incredibly anti feminist (in my opinion).

First of all there's all the slut shaming, now don't get me wrong, i'd get it if this was just greta and henry and her dad. They're antagonists and it makes sense for the time period, BUT Bev is not jusy slut shamed by the antagonists, she's indirectly kind of slut shamed by the narritive. When Richie first meets her he tells rumors about her sleeping around, especially with Henry Bowers and he faces almost little to no pushback. Yeah eddie tells him to shut up, and Bill says "they're just rumors" but it really shouldn't matter if they're just rumors or not. The movie seems to think that the slut shaming is bad because she isn't sleeping with anyone, when slut shaming should be bad just because its a fuckin mean thing to do. Even if she did date Henry, who the fuck cares? It's literally her life, obviously she doesn't like him now. Also the way Richie words it as "Bill had her in the third grade" is 🤢.

In the bathroom scene they take time out of cleaning just so she can clarify to Bill that he's the only one she's ever kissed so I guess Bill can feel like a real special man. Even though she doesn't owe Bill really anything, let alone reassurance that she's only kissed him once. I'd absolutely understand if this was Bev reacting to her CSA, assuming she needs to make them men around her feel special by having a low body count, but the movie portays this scene as really sweet and romantic so i doubt it's the case.

The movie sexualizes Bev so much, and again, i'd understand if this was supposed to be commentary about her CSA but a lot of it is genuinely meant to further the plot or played off for laughs. Almost every single scene she has is about her sexual history or which guy she ends up with. Even Ben, who's entire thing is he's hopelessly in love with Bev gets more of a personality than just that. She's called a slut by greta keene, flirts with ben outside, """flirts""" with Mr. Keene to steal his shit, leaves the pharmacy to get oggled by Bill in slowmo, gets slut shamed by richie, gets oggled at the quarry, ect.

The movie also tries to act like she's a much stronger female than she really is, it reminds me a lot of in the 90's when they'd have those tough bad ass women who could sword fight and stuff but they'd always inevitably be kidnapped because of gener roles. I do admit that the scene of her jamming the fence post through pennhwise is cool, and so is the scene where she hits her dad, but her badassness is incredibly underminded in a lot of ways. First of all when they're asked who wants to go in she's the only one to raise her hand but she STILL doesn't go inside. Why? What possible reason could the narrative give as to why she stayed outside? To comfort Stan??? God forbid a girl helps save the boys unless it's in the smallest way possible. And then she gets kidnapped and essentially used as a plot device just for the boys to get back together. We can't just have them work things out and apologize and show up for each other because they're friends, they all need a woman to go rescue.

Having Beverly say "I am not afraid of you" is just lip service when you still have her be a damsel in distress, which she is officially rendered right after pennywise puts her in the deadlights. And now we come to the worst part of this whole thing, which is the deadlights kiss. Now, i'm some one who will defend snow white and sleeping beauty with my life, because i know how fairytale curses work and with sleeping beauty phillip is out right told that's what he has to do. This is not what happens in the movie. Ben and Bill see Bev dangling there, and after like half a second of trying to snap her out of it decide kissing her is the only way to get her out of this. Ben even sees Bill do it and fail but instead of trying literally anything else he thinks "i love her more, maybe it'll work with me!".

Guys I do not give a shit about how much Bill and Ben care about Bev, if anything that just makes kissing her while she's out of it worse. You may try to justify this by saying it really was the only way for them to do it, but that still doesn't change the fact YOU wrote it that way. YOU decided the only way to save bev was to kiss her without consent. Which you actively contradict with richie getting caught in the dead lights and snapped out it in it chapter 2. Stephen King didn't even write that shit, say what you will about the child orgy, but at least Bev was awake for it. She consented about as much as a girl her age could given that she's only 11. That's way more problematic than this but at least it was her idea, at least she conciously decided this was worth doing. All you've done is take a creepy sexual act that was at the very least consenual and displayed some sexual agency in the character, with a creepy non sexual non consenual act that took away agency. How girlboss is it that her first kisses with her love interests weren't even while she could could consent? She is kissed three times, once during a play and twice while she's unconcious, neither of which are her idea. I'm not saying a woman always has to instigate things romantically, but if you spend your whole movie talking about how she's a slut, maybe you should give her some free reign over her love life.

This is why I love 90's Bev so much, she's just a little fiesty tomboy who saves the boys asses with a sling shot and an epic blow to the head. She doesn't get damseled in distressed (the only time she gets saved are when Ben defends her during the rock fight), the boys aren't overly horny over her, the only people who really treat her like her gender defines her are her father, Tom, and Henry she's just great. And that came out in the 90's! I don't think the 90's miniseries is necessarily better than the 2017 movies, but I think their treatment of Bev is just inherently more feminist given that they don't constantly try to define her by her body counts. Yes she loves ben, but she has more to her than that. Even if you bring up things like body count to try and say she isn't a slut who's obsessed with boys, it's still not feminist because you're still constantly equating her value to who she's with. The only proper way to adress slut shaming is by acknowledging it's none of the characters business what she does and that if you do it at all you suck. But IT 2017 doesn't do that, because Bev's sexual maturity is explored only through the eyes of men, and that includes the narrative.

Her promiscuity is explained through Richie when she's not even there (who i will give the benefit of the doubt here and say was being mysoginsitic to try and compensate for his queerness, but even then, using a woman's sex life as a tool to make yourself feel better is awful no matter your reason), she only consents to anything until the very end, and this movie tries to act like it's not doing any of it by giving her a few measily crumbs of strength outside of being the guys girlfriend. I never felt like IT 2017 was one of the guys, because the movie would never let her be that. Fuck.

If you are a woman, or even just AFAB and disagree with this you are free to, I do not speak for every woman in the world and if you feel differently I will not try to change that. I can only speak my truth though, and my truth is that it 2017 Bev pisses me off.

[mushiemadarame]

Getting Started BL RecList

Back in 2022, when I first started watching BL – though it was far from my first foray into the genre* –, I went in guns blazing without much of an idea where to start and where it would lead me. Now, in 2024, I have almost 500 BL series and movies under my belt and I realise it might feel a little overwhelming to choose where to start for someone who dives into the current landscape for the first time. That’s why I thought I would compile a completely personal and biased rec list for beginners who might want a little guidance, completely based on my own experience and journey into this amazing and highly entertaining world. Links for where to watch are in an alternate version of this post because of the Tumblr link limit and if you have trouble finding any or specific versions of any of the shows, my askbox is at your disposal. Hope you enjoy!

*while I’ve been reading Yaoi Manga since I was about 11, excluding very few exceptions, it’s only recently that I’ve gotten into the genre on the screen. That is to say, I wasn’t entirely clueless to begin with.

The Fluff - Happy endings assured, along with some side-stitching comedies.

⇢About Youth - Just so heartwarming and lovely, it has a great OST and an interesting family conflict theme to it. It’s cute and it’s wonderful. ⇢Bad Buddy - Such a classic even though it’s fairly recent. I think it’s perfect for a beginner with its classic enemies-to-lovers dynamic and a Romeo and Juliet kind of deal going on. ⇢Cherry Magic! JPN/Cherry Magic! TH - I know some might want to kill me for what I’m about to say but I personally didn’t love the Japanese version of this story and very much adored the Thai one. However, the Japanese show is a must-watch because it’s definitely a staple in Japanese BL and even though I didn’t love the series itself, the movie played me like a fiddle. The Thai version immediately became one of my absolute favourites, on like, episode one. So… give both a try. + Movie ⇢Fish Upon the Sky - I had no idea people hated this show as much as they do, I actually love it. It was the first BL that had me in stitches and even upon rewatches, it hasn’t failed to live up to what I first thought of it. This is just pure crack and it’s awesome. ⇢Kieta Hatsukoi - Sweet, so very very sweet. It’s Japan’s brand of sweet too which some might find a little unsatisfactory. When I first gave it a try, I didn’t quite get the hype but then it went in interesting places for me and now I highly recommend it. + Thai remake ⇢My School President - THEE high school BL. I have watched many others and none of them have impressed me and entertained me like this one. I even like the music. GMMTV did not know how much gold it had struck when they signed GemFourth. ⇢Old Fashion Cupcake - A mature story about finding love and yourself later in life in the guise of a fluffy show. This is very much a case of more than meets the eye and everything from the aesthetics to the story elevates it to a classic. ⇢Our Dining Table - The perfect exploration of found family for me. I love this show so much, I cried almost every single episode and it really really surprised me in many ways. It’s truly a warm, comforting show with subtle imagery and masterful acting. The main actor is incredibly talented and a fucking acting chameleon. It also features the best child actor that has ever graced my screen. + Special EP 

Set Your Expectations High - High-quality shows that might ruin you for anything less.

⇢He’s Coming to Me - Could have been an underrated gem but luckily, there’s a lot of people who love this show and for good reason. It has my favourite coming out plot and it’s so original in its premise. Wonderfully complex characters and amazing acting. Ohm Pawat knocks it out of the park with this one, definitely my favourite of his. ⇢Not Me - How to even begin to explain how important this show is to me. I got a fucking tattoo of it, on my skin, forever!!!! My absolute number one BL, they will never make another like it. I love everything about it from the director, to the casting, to the silly moments. This show single-handedly endeared me to so many of GMMTV roster, it's insane. It almost ruined me for everything else and I watched it very early on too, so there was a tangible risk. 

We Like It Spicy - If you’re looking for titillating chemistry, this is for you.

⇢Big Dragon - This show compels me. Is it good? Not exactly. And yet it kept me glued to the screen every single week. The chemistry is on fire, the story is a little silly at times but the way the characters develop through it is surprisingly very well-done. I don’t know what to say, it really worked for me and it’s a great display of how sometimes you’ll come across shows that care more about titillation than story. ⇢KinnPorsche - My very, very first Thai BL and what got me back into the genre and introduced me to Thai shows in particular. It is horny, it is wild, it is toxic at times but it is the ride. I believe it might have been the first Thai BL show to truly get so much money thrown at it and it changed the entire industry. Also just so completely entertaining and fun. ⇢The Novelist - The native title for this is Pornographer so you can imagine how this belongs into a higher level of spicy. I feel like it's a very good look into the more mature side of Japanese BL while still including a compelling love story. There are tougher Japanese BL out there both in terms of themes and explicitness but this is a good primer. + Prequel (watch it second) & Sequels 1, 2, & 3

Legendary Doesn’t Always Mean Good - Titles you just can’t stop coming across, a mixed bag of quality. 

⇢2gether - I‘ll premise by saying that I really don’t like this one. I only watched it because it is inescapable when you start looking at Thai BL and I just had to know what the hype was about. It was absolutely not worth it for me but definitely belongs to the list of the ones you need to watch for the culture. + Season 2 & Movie ⇢Cupid’s Last Wish - This show makes me actively angry, genuinely throws me into a rage if I think about it too much while also having one of my favourite scenes. Overall, not great though not even all that bad. My dislike of it is not at all proportional with how bad it is. I feel like it’s a bit of a classic for a lot of reasons. Just… give it a try, it’s impossible you’ll hate it as much as I do. ⇢Dark Blue Kiss - Funnily enough, even though I really hated their part of the show, this is the one that made me a TayNew fan. It’s not offensively bad but it has a special place in hell for me for what it could have been but wasn’t – those are the shows that test me the most – and the only way I managed to watch the whole of it was thanks to the secondary couple. As a lot of other shows in this section, it’s another one for the culture. + Kiss Me Again ⇢HIStory2: Crossing the Line - The HIStory series is definitely the biggest staple of Taiwanese BL but if I had to recommend it, I would only go for specific shows like this one and two others in the list. This specifically is a little on the older side and it is just so charming. The acting in the entire series is quite good when taking into account when they were made but this is the first one with a truly enjoyable plot in my opinion. ⇢HIStory3: Trapped - Oh, this one is just plain good. I think it’s a turning point for the HIStory series and it’s very very entertaining while also having some genuine emotional beats.  ⇢Manner of Death - Manner of Death walked so KinnPorsche could run. MaxTul have done so much for the Thai BL industry and this show in particular took the risk of transposing BL into the thriller genre and opened the door for many others to mix up the formula. Plus, it’s genuinely good. ⇢Semantic Error - Everything that Korean BL can be when production is not cowardly. Sounds harsh but it’s true. It’s fun, it’s quirky, the dynamic and chemistry make it an instant classic, and it’s just so beautiful to look at. One of the most pleasant rewatches for me. ⇢Together With Me - This one is probably older than anything else Thai in this list and it shows; it gives a very good idea of where BL storylines started but it’s not exactly good. Interesting watch if you want to know where the Kings™ came from. + Bad Romance (original story, not recommended) & Season 2 ⇢We Best Love: No. 1 For You - For me, this encompasses everything Taiwanese BL can be while also showcasing where it came from. A rare, non-Thai, very frequent rewatch. + Season 2 ⇢Where Your Eyes Linger - This is the first of director Hwang Da Seul’s holy trinity and together with To My Star and Blueming is a must-watch of Korean BL. ⇢Why R U? - A formative show in my Thai BL journey and also one of the first I watched. It is definitely dated but it also really shows how Thai BL developed over time. I slightly prefer the more recent and totally different Korean remake but it’s very close.

I Don’t Want Peace I Want Problems - These characters hate boredom just as much as you.

⇢Addicted - The Cursed story with a capital C, this show is truly one of a kind. It delves into some pretty toxic and problematic narratives but it’s also the only adaptation that manages to really convey the socioeconomic message of the story it tells. Be warned that it is incomplete due to Chinese censorship, which is only the tip of the iceberg of the BTS lore. None of the adaptations have (so far) been able to get to the end of the original story, hence the reason I say it’s Cursed. + Censored Chinese remake & Thai remake (ongoing) ⇢The Eclipse - I really really loved this show until I didn’t. The acting alone is one of the best in the whole of GMMTV’s history and it touches on some very complex themes while still very much being a High School BL. The ending frustrated me to no end because it completely smashed the quality heights it had reached for some easy fluff and it just left a bitter taste in my mouth. Still, it’s very beloved by a lot of people – *cough*Jay*cough*. ⇢Love Mechanics - It’s messy and probably not to everyone’s taste but for me this is an excellent display of how much direction and chemistry can make or break a not-that-exciting story. I rewatch this constantly. + NOTE: There is a director’s cut of the first three episodes then they integrate. En of Love [▶️watch here] is the first, inferior version of the story. ⇢My Beautiful Man - This one tends to be a controversial rec. It’s probably the show that surprised me the most in this entire list and made me do a complete 180 in my opinion of it. Once I finally gave it a chance, I just couldn't stop watching it, and it gets even better as it continues in the following season and the epilogue. + Season 2 & Movie ⇢My Stand-In - A very recent addition, I am obsessed with it. There is not one episode I didn’t like and for me this really managed to make the relationship work despite the toxicity and the atrocities. The acting is just splendid, I will now forever be a fan of Up and Poom. I love it. ⇢To Sir, With Love - This is fully a soap opera. I haven’t seen it recommended as much as others because of how long and how specifically in the soap opera genre it is. But! – big but – if you manage to get through the whole of it, you are primed for any other BLs that use the same narrative style or very close narrative styles like Century of Love. For me, it contextualised a lot of other Thai shows I’ve watched and in the end, though it feels longer than it should be, I actually really liked it. But man, life is way too short to ever rewatch it.

So You Want It Artsy - That snobby friend who only watches French Indie films you hate to admit are actually excellent.

⇢180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us - The biggest draw of this show is the shooting style which perfectly complements the themes in the story. A masterclass in acting with complex characters, I know a lot of people find it hard to get through because of the theatrical style it employs but for me that’s a huge plus. I highly discourage watching it all at once, I think it’s a show that needs its time to be watched. A real feast for the eyes.  ⇢Blueming - A cinematographic work of art. The plot is not that complicated, it relies a lot on the emotional beats and the complex inner lives of the protagonists. Part of the HDS holy trinity so you just gotta watch it. It’s fairly brief. ⇢The Eighth Sense - Unfortunately, I didn't end up loving this as much as basically everyone else but I do think it showed amazing promise. The ending just didn't work particularly well for me but it's definitely a very well-crafted story with amazing cinematography and great acting. ⇢I Told Sunset About You, Last Twilight in Phuket, I Promised You The Moon - If you ask people who liked this one, most will say they hate the second season because of the cheating storyline. I completely and utterly disagree. I have some minor gripes with how it ended but overall this is almost a perfect show IMO.

In Need of A Good Cry - Break-up, death, overall tragedy; for those nights you need to get it out. WARNING: some sad and tragic endings ahead.

⇢The Day I Loved You - I have a slightly controversial opinion about this one but the show is not a controversial recommendation at all. It’s plain good. I feel like it might be the only Filipino BL I’ve truly enjoyed and it’s definitely the only one you’ll find in this list. ⇢Eternal Yesterday - You go into this and you already know how much it’s going to break your heart but you never stop hoping for that happy ending. This one really devastated me because even though I knew it was going to end sadly, it managed to surprise me in the way it got there. ⇢HIStory3: Make Our Days Count - I’ve heard so many people say to just skip the end of the second to last episode and the whole of the finale and I get it. I would probably do the same upon rewatch but I don’t recommend skipping it if it’s your first time. Masterful character development and acting, I wish the rest of the HIStory series had maintained the same level of storytelling but alas, it didn’t. ⇢Kissable Lips - I didn't think vampires could make me this emotional. Way ahead of its time, we might never see another like this from South Korea.  ⇢Life: Love on the Line - Frustrating at times, pays off in a big way at the end. Very few others have made me cry as much. NOTE: make sure to watch the director’s cut. ⇢The On1y One - Also a very recent addition. This one can truly boast doing the slow-burn right. There were a couple of episodes that got a little shaky toward the end and if it ends up not getting a second season, I might commit arson but damn if the emotional beats didn’t work in a big way. I was played and I didn’t even wanna watch it at first.

The Self-referentials - We love a story that knows its own genre.

⇢A Man Who Defies the World of BL - Pure and absolute comedy from Japan, it parodies and deconstructs every single trope there is. The comedy is very in-your-face but instead of cringing, it consistently makes me die with laughter. Technically ongoing but unsure whether it'll get a fourth season. ⇢Kabe Koji - I have to admit I don’t remember a lot about this show aside from how much it impressed me when I watched it and the people to whom I’ve recommended it with the caveat that at the beginning it seems a little silly and not that good have come back to tell me that it was totally worth the watch, which is exactly the feeling I remember getting from watching it and why I recommend it. It’s formative, I just don’t remember why. ⇢Lovely Writer - I specifically chose to watch this when starting to dive into Thai BL because it deals with the Behind the Scenes of how BL shows are made and it was essential to my understanding of how fanservice works in this specific industry and definitely put me on the right path to find out more on the subject. Other than that, it’s fairly good and fluffy though I’m not a fan of one specific trope it uses.

Genre Outliers - BLs that like to mix it up a bit.

⇢He/She/It - Short and weird. I feel like this is very much one of a kind and I would watch it if only because it’s so damn intriguing even though it could have flourished with a bigger budget. However, it’s lovable also because it’s so obviously a small-budget project. ⇢Love for Love’s Sake - It definitely deserves the reputation it gets. It starts with catapulting you into one story and perfectly uses it to mirror the actual point of the show. The love story is excellent and the medium it uses in-world was a stylistic and instrumental dream. It knows exactly what it’s doing and it’s a masterful execution of the isekai genre while also keeping well within the BL world. ⇢The Warp Effect - Stretching the definition of BL a little as technically, the protagonist is a straight (up for debate) dude. That isn’t to say this isn’t very much a queer story with compelling queer characters and a fair dose of fun. I also absolutely adore how it talks about sex and feel like its approach to the topic is extremely sensitive and well-done. Plus, it’s genuinely funny. ⇢Till the World Ends - I will forever be grateful to Jay for convincing me to give this a try. It’s a little gorey and none of the characters are very good people – aside from Art. The fact that it came from a smaller, almost indie studio is incredible and it is brave as hell for choosing the subject matter it did and executing it the way it did. Michael Kiettisak is the love of my life (though this is not the show that originated my undying love for him, do ask me about it). NOTE: some of the videos on YT are membership-restricted but censored versions are available on the original channel.

Complicated Recs - Shows I have trouble recommending without a disclaimer but trust me, you need to see them.

⇢Secret Crush on You - I can’t possibly explain in just two or three sentences why you should watch it. It’s cringey, it’s ridiculous, and so so hard to get through but!!!! Just come talk to me about it if you want to know more ‘cause my thoughts about this are so conflicting I can’t get into it here. If you get through this one, you can get through anything. Just watch it and then come yell at me because you hated it and hold me responsible for convincing you. ⇢TharnType - This is even harder to justify than the previous one. Simply put: it is so wildly popular and well-known, you just have to experience it for the culture. On the other hand, I maintain that with a few tweaks – and they would genuinely be just a few though some of them major –, this show could have been groundbreaking. Again, if you want me to say more than that, you’ll have to leave me an ask. + Special 1, Season 2 & Special 2

Underrated Gems - Nobody talks about them and I’m very sad about it.

⇢The Best Story - Short, sweet, heart-breaking. A very overlooked show if you consider it stars YinWar and even though it’s one of the first they did together, it already showcases how well they work as a pair. One day, I will get the epilogue I deserve. ⇢Dear Doctor, I’m Coming for Soul - I cannot understand why this doesn’t get recommended in the same breath as Manner of Death. I found it completely by accident and loved it instantly. Stylistically, very much in the same category as MoD for me though I might like the emotional beats in this one a little more. ⇢Light on Me - So underrated. It has such a gentle touch with dealing about young love. Perfect display of how tender and delicate teenage love can be, it made my heart clench and filled me with joy. ⇢Long Time No See - Some of the older Korean BLs are surprisingly forward compared to what we get today and this is only one, excellent example of it. While it does have some spice, you should also watch it for the plot. Short and extremely lovable.  ⇢Love Is Better the Second Time Around - Why 👏 does 👏 nobody 👏 talk 👏 about 👏 this 👏 show!!! 👏 The music choices alone made it such an entertaining watch. I can only describe this as unexpected.  ⇢Love Class - I can't understand the absolute loathing I’ve seen people have for this show at all, especially for the second season. I loved it, both times. I especially loved the secondary couples in the second season but both times I was blindsided by how much I enjoyed it and how much of a left turn it took. Came for the romance, stayed for the plot twists. + Season 2 (not a continuation of the previous season) ⇢Our Days - This is another show I remember very little about aside from being very struck by the stylistic choices. The plot isn’t especially original but I was very intrigued by its pacing and its narrative style which is what stuck with me. I'm including it because I watched it fairly early in my BL watching experience and it definitely primed me for shows coming from lesser-known studios. ⇢Rak Diao - I will never ever get over the fact that this didn’t get a second season. Not only did it need it, it deserved it. This is shot like a sit-com, which means fake laughter and the kind of comedy that comes with that but it gets unexpectedly deep as it goes and does a wonderful job of conveying the emotions throughout the progression of the love story. I would have never expected to like it as much as I did, it holds a very dear place in my heart. ⇢Something In My Room - Such a lovely and heartwarming show despite the sad ending. I don’t really have the words to describe it, I just really loved it and would like for more people to know it.

Personal Faves - Are these good? That’s irrelevant. I love them, therefore they’re the best.

⇢The End of The World With You - This show was a journey. I knew exactly where it was going but it made me excited to find out how it would get there. The ending is a little goofy solely because of the low-budget VFX but emotionally, it really worked for me. ⇢Theory of Love - This is quite literally my problematic fave. I always skip most of the side plots when rewatching it and it’s the show I managed to trap my best friend into watching BL with. I genuinely adore KhaoThird’s story, I know a lot of people don’t like how their relationship begins but I think the character development is just done so well that it makes it work. Plus, I love the way it combines all the references into its own story and the Special EP always makes me tear up a little. Huge, huge emotional attachment to this one on my part. ⇢The Time of Fever - Technically, this is a spin-off prequel. It tells the story of the secondary couple from Unintentional Love Story and how they got to the point we find them in that one. It’s beautiful both aesthetically and story-wise. The acting is just excellent and the chemistry is out-of-this-world. I would personally recommend watching ULS first, then this one, then only the DongHee and HoTae parts from ULS again but it’s up to you. I will get that DongHeeHoTae-centric second season or die trying. + Unintentional Love Story (main story) ⇢To My Star + Season 2 - This show, to me, is a staple but I feel like it doesn’t tend to make the big names list. It is not only in my top three BL shows but also in my list of favourite shows ever of any genre. It’s absolutely essential to watch season two as it is quite different from the first one and much more developed. In general, I like season two a little more than the first but that does not mean the first is lacking in anything. It’s very marginal. Genuinely, this show can play my emotions like maybe only one or two others I’ve watched.

This concludes this very long and self-indulgent list of recommendations. If you’ve gotten this far, thank you so much for reading and please do shoot me an ask or a comment or a DM if you want to talk about any of these shows or others with me, it would genuinely make my day!

A/N 1: some of the titles in this list have an ‘extended universe’ situation going on. Feel free to contact me if you need help navigating it. A/N 2: just because they’re in this list, does not mean I consider all these shows to be the top of the crop. These are specifically shows that I think would be ideal for a beginner to get into the genre, there are many many others that I would readily recommend that didn’t make the cut and that I would be glad to elaborate on if asked. A/N 3: if you ever find yourself thinking “What the hell are they even saying??” while reading this, just imagine me adding an “in my opinion” to the end of every sentence.

[darkgamer-900]

My dreams are Christmas related and it's starting to creep up on me. It's Halloween damn it

My YouTube music playlist isn't helping either like just let me listen to music 😭

I'm actually gonna be done with myself if we walk into the Home Depot today and see a shit load of Christmas trees across from the Halloween stuff. Ik I love The Nightmare Before Christmas but this isn't what I had in mind

Anyways I found this on Tubi and apparently it's really bad😭

[justanotherwriter140]

Kung Fu Panda 4 - The Movie

The last really, really long discussion post (for now).

Major spoilers ahead!

This review is full of spoilers, so please refrain from reading through it until you've watched KFP4. I would highly suggest doing so, as I want everyone to form their own opinions without my influence. The movie has its flaws (some of which admittedly being a bit distracting), but it's a fun film that has things to offer.

Kung Fu Panda 4 is a fun movie (take that as you will) that takes its audience on an action-packed, surprisingly funny, yet relatively contained adventure on which Po doesn't really do much. It's an inconsequential, safe sequel that doesn't really hurt the franchise but adds close to nothing.

I had a good time watching the movie. It was obviously produced with its theater experience in mind and the action scenes especially reflected that priority. The humor was actually funny sometimes and I enjoyed Po and Zhen's dynamic. During the film, I was able to put most (most!) of my grievances aside and take the movie for what it is. I've discovered that the best way to watch KFP4 is with low expectations and an open mind.

I have a lot of things to say about KFP4, both complaints and compliments (though the former might be taking the forefront in this review), and I hope this review can help those of you who have seen the movie organize your thoughts. I've been having a lot of trouble with that specific aspect of things myself. Those who get it get it.

With that said, let's get into my full review of KFP4! I've been waiting for nearly 2 years to write this and I'm so excited to share every single thought.

I'm going to follow the format of my first discussion post and curate a bulleted list of my thoughts, followed by an analysis of each of these points. Keep in mind that everything I say is IMO and this is more of a rant post than anything else.

Here are my main points:

The Furious Five's role is comically minuscule in the context of the film. Their actions are inconsequential and add nothing to the plot (a confirmed last-minute add), and they have 30~ seconds of screen time. Shifu is also largely irrelevant.

Mr. Ping and Li's presence has little to no effect on the movie (though I won't complain too much because they were pretty fun to watch and this movie has bigger problems). In almost any scenario, I am adamantly against having characters present that don't add anything to the narrative; however, Mr. Ping is an exception. I love Mr. Ping. James Hong is a gem.

Zhen's screen time is not utilized well and her character is underdeveloped. She definitely wasn't annoying, but I didn't find her either compelling or funny enough to warrant the screen time she was given, especially considering it wasn't used to establish a backstory/strong motives. This makes me feel bad for the character because the movie kind of screwed her out of any substantial development.

The Chameleon, while complimented greatly by Viola Davis, is an underwhelming villain. Viola Davis is amazing in this film and I would suggest watching it for her performance if for nothing else, but the Chameleon is underwhelming considering the super cool concept behind the character.

The film feels very rushed. Apologies to those who disagree, but I think the pacing is atrocious and the final fight is anticlimactic. The movie felt like a word-vomit with no discernible intermissions that stops abruptly when the film ends.

I felt as though Po didn't change/grow as a person and the audience never had a chance to either bond with or relate to his character. His internal struggle is kept to a minimum and we don't spend a moment alone with him as an audience, which is disorienting and distracting. Watching the film felt like running into an old friend at the store who's too in a rush to have a real conversation.

The action scenes were strong with few exceptions. Creative art direction was utilized and I thought the martial arts choreography was entertaining and dynamic. I love the color palette of the film and many scenes were very impressive visually.

With my main points established, I do believe it's ranting time. Strap in, folks.

Let's start strong with the Furious Five: I'm gutted. Chagrined, despondent, crestfallen, etc.

The lack of the Furious Five negatively affects KFP4 so much, because not only does their absence hurt the atmospheric integrity of KFP as a franchise, it also forces KFP4 to bring in a slew of different characters—all while still noncommittally including the FF at the very end because I believe the marketing team required it—that clog up the cast a bit. It all goes to show how important strong, established side characters are.

The Furious Five are side characters, but the role of "side character" does not equate to being irrelevant, expendable, or exchangeable. I recognize that the Furious Five aren't super developed as characters beyond a handful of lines that allude to traits sprinkled sparingly among the members; however, I believe that the tiny bits of development we have been given have proved impactful in the past. Tigress's development in KFP2 is a prime example of how much narratively conscious changes (however small they may be) can positively affect these movies.

Because of limited runtimes, the Furious Five often operate as more of a singular unit than five individuals. Even so, I don't think discarding them is valid. They're so important to the KFP universe (to Po's universe!) and not having them with him feels so wrong. The Furious Five are fully integral to the heart of Kung Fu Panda, which is why I believe a lot of those who have seen the new movie have expressed something feeling "off" or something being missing.

I agree with this sentiment. To me, KFP4 didn't feel like a KFP movie. I don't need a Furious Five spin-off movie and I can be fully content with a KFP5 centered around Po's journey as an individual as was intended from the beginning, but he can't carry an entire movie on his back. As strong as he is in every sense of the word, he is only one character. He's the centerpiece of the franchise, but a centerpiece can only go so far without the rest of the design, so to speak.

For me, the Furious Five's absence is one of this film's biggest faults. It's huge and glaring. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, either, because the friends with whom I saw the film refused to talk about any other aspect of the movie after seeing it. Seeing them at the end was better than nothing, of course, but it was a disappointing culmination after eight years of waiting.

That all is to say I feel robbed. Despite all of this, though, I understand that there were reasons why the Furious Five weren't included in the movie. I don't believe the production team would exclude the Furious Five unless they weren't given a choice.

Shifu and Po's dynamic continues to be thoroughly delightful but their interactions are short and simplified. I would have loved to see more of them in this film, especially considering the extreme relevance of teacher-student relationships in KFP4. I (somewhat) digress, though, because the idea of Shifu having to live at the Jade Palace with only Po for an extended period of time is hilarious enough on its own. Maybe that's what the short film is about!

The comedy is odd but has some jokes that stand out. Po maintains a healthy relationship with his inner sass, which I think makes him more fun to watch and kind of eradicates the man-child verdict. Some jokes don't land, of course, but I genuinely thought KFP4 had some funny moments. Mr. Ping was consistently awesome and Po had some good lines sprinkled throughout the film.

As for Mr. Ping, he and Li Shan are the subjects of the film's B-plot as they follow Po to Juniper City out of shared concern for their son's safety. In my mind, they don't add anything to the story that couldn't have been brought about by other characters, but they had their moments of being entertaining. I enjoyed their silliness and thought they had a cute dynamic if nothing else.

Speaking of other characters, I want to discuss KFP4's deuteragonist and why I genuinely feel bad about the way her character was treated.

I want to let it be known that I'm still not on board with Po passing the Dragon Warrior torch to another character. While I agree that his arc is now calling for him to have a student, I disagree with the notion of him retiring from his DW role.

As I stated in my first discussion post:

Didn’t the initial significance and nuance of the title come from the fact that there is only one person who can be the Dragon Warrior, because the concept of the “Dragon Warrior” isn’t so much a title as it is Po himself? The universe (Oogway) must choose the Dragon Warrior because they are a singular being of legend. It is one person, and that person is Po. Wasn’t the point of the first film that the title ultimately doesn’t really matter because there is no “secret ingredient,” so to speak? The title doesn’t actually give Po anything. “It’s just you,” Po says, and that was the resolution.

When it comes to Zhen as a character, contrary to what I predicted I would think of her, I thought she was okay. While I was still a bit distracted by how out-of-place her design looks, I wasn't truly annoyed by her at any point and she and Po had some cute moments. Even so, I think their relationship could have been a bit more refined and developed.

While it's evident that Po and Zhen are meant to have a teacher-student/mentor-apprentice dynamic, I think their relationship feels half-baked. There were parallels that contradicted one another and ended up being confusing come the film's conclusion, and the nature of their relationship seems to vacillate depending on the scene. Additionally, the strength of their bond goes from zero to one hundred within thirty-ish minutes and left me with a bit of whiplash.

We're shown that Po and Zhen care about one another, but we're never shown why. They have a brief conversation during which they bond over being orphans, and Zhen says at one point, "You're actually a good guy," but that's it. This obvious lack of development is a bit disorienting because we're later led to believe that Zhen and Po care very deeply for one another when there's almost nothing to back it up.

A scene that sticks out to me when discussing this is when Zhen attack-hugs Po in a way that explicitly mirrors Tigress's hug from KFP2. This happens around the beginning of the third act, and while it had the potential to be an endearing moment, I think it fell flat.

The impact of Tigress's hug was brought on by her character's hardcore nature and reputation of being heartless, further strengthened with the knowledge that she was hugging Po (which was obviously way outside her comfort zone) as a show of companionship and fundamental understanding. Tigress hugged Po because he needed someone to recognize his strive for closure.

Zhen's hug had little to no impact because she had no reason to do it and it didn't indicate growth. She hugs Po because she's sorry for betraying him and doesn't want him to be killed by the Chameleon, but neither of these things are newly-established via this hug; we have already gathered by now that Zhen regrets betraying Po and doesn't want him to get hurt.

The hug is far from the movie's weakest point, but I think it's unnecessary given the context. I'm big on hugs in movies (an underutilized form of platonic affection, in my opinion), but it didn't fit here. I don't hate it, and I see it as an honest effort to bring emotionality to Po and Zhen's relationship, but it seems arbitrary.

Zhen and Po's relationship has a lot of potential and I'd be open to seeing more of them in the future, but I think some more thoughtful development needs to occur before I can humor it further. Even so, I can see myself featuring Zhen in some future post-KFP4 one-shots—sparingly, of course, because we have a lot of Furious Five content to compensate for.

Overall, they had a cute dynamic and some sweet moments but I'm not attached. I'm on board with Po having a student but I think their relationship needs a lot more development, something that this film unfortunately didn't give them time to either accomplish or earn.

Now, onto the Chameleon!

The concept of the Chameleon's character is admittedly super interesting. She's the deuteragonist's fastidious mother figure who feels that Zhen owes her a debt and as a result holds her to an impossible standard. That dynamic had the potential to be so interesting but I didn't think it was explored at all. There is no indication of Zhen having any internal conflict about fighting the Chameleon, no emotional complexity between them at all; it's disappointing because I think it would've added a bit of earnestness to the film.

Additionally, the idea of a shape-shifting villain is versatile. A shape-shifting villain gives those telling the story a lot of room to experiment with the protagonist and different ways in which the main character can be challenged and tested. It's yet another good idea utilized poorly. Just one idea: the Chameleon could have disguised herself as one (or several) of Po's family, friends, etc. and brought to fruition a new arc with his character (seeing as he arguably doesn't have one in this film), but she only disguises herself as Zhen very briefly in the movie.

Furthermore, the Chameleon completely relies on the powers of previous villains to pose any sort of threat to the main characters. She summons Po's former nemeses from the Spirit Realm (despite there being little logic in doing so considering Kai's literal evisceration) and takes their kung fu abilities for herself.

An excerpt from my first KFP4 discussion post that I think is relevant to the point I'm trying to make:

I don’t think it would be in the best interest of anyone if the past villains were to come back in any way that’s not a flashback (even then, I’m not sure I’d see the point). In all honesty, I thought that the whole point of the villains was that they died and stayed dead. They were defeated by Po once and for all as a testament to the idea of establishing Po's character growth and journey as a person through the bad things he’s able to overcome. It’d be highly contradictory to the messages of the other films if these villains were to suddenly come back.

While there was an honest effort made to portray the Chameleon as intimidating, I never felt as though any of the characters were endangered by either her or her army of lizard henchman. She's a visually appealing character (aside from her eyes, which I thought more resembled those of a gecko than a chameleon) and I greatly enjoyed Davis's performance, but overall I don't see the Chameleon as a notable villain.

The return of Tai Lung (had he been on his own) had the makings to be an excellent story, especially considering the importance of teacher-student dynamics in KFP4. To see him interacting with Shifu would have been incredible and could have led to further closure on Tai Lung's end (because I think that's kind of what the team was going for anyway), but it didn't happen.

It was nice to see Ian McShane reprise his role, but I wish Tai Lung's characterization had been more reminiscent of the way he was in the first film and more complimentary of his overall character arc. Tai Lung isn't a one-dimensional villain with a singular goal and motivation, and I couldn't help but feel as though the complexity of his character was simplified for the sake of KFP4's narrative.

Tai Lung's presence in KFP4 may be odd, but Shen and Kai's appearances are even more so. Kai, if I remember correctly, was fully obliterated by Po, reduced to literal particles on screen (which is kind of wild now that I think about it). Shen being in the Spirit Realm makes sense all things considered; however, Po and Li had no visible reaction to his presence, which seemed a bit unlikely considering Shen's deeds. This plot hole can likely be attributed to the fact that Shen and Kai's cameos (to my knowledge) were last-minute additions to the movie.

I have to talk about the pacing. I have to. I'm sorry, bear with me.

To me, the film's pacing is erratic and disconcerting. While I can appreciate a quick-moving narrative that doesn't dawdle on storylines that aren't interesting/important, KFP4 kind of flings itself too far in the opposite direction and ends up being frighteningly fast-paced. Once the credits began, I felt like I had been holding my breath for the entire movie.

KFP4 is confusing because while the runtime is standard for a KFP movie, it feels incredibly short. At the same time, the film's story moves at a breakneck speed and leaves little time for heart and development. These things culminate into a barreling boulder of a movie that simply doesn't have time to let its characters, story, or audience take a breath.

A fast pace is not inherently negative, but I don't think it worked in the favor of KFP4. The KFP franchise has always been very emotionally grounded (and just very grounded in general), so to see a film in which emotion/heart takes an aggressive backseat in comparison to action and comedy is jarring. While I think it's unreasonable for fans to expect the same emotional integrity as the original films to be present in the current and upcoming ones, I still think there's room for Po to grow and I felt as though the notion of him developing further was brushed aside in this film.

As for Po's growth, I felt it was nearly nonexistent. The previous trilogy wrapped up his character's journey beautifully and I know that KFP4 was bound to struggle with this particular aspect of making another KFP film; however, just because the strongest pillars of Po's character are established doesn't serve as a valid excuse to reverse his development and repeat what he learned in KFP3.

In KFP3, Po learned firsthand that he is capable of spreading wisdom and teaching kung fu. He also learns that he is constantly growing and that change is inevitable; there is always something more to learn.

"If you only do what you can do, you will never be more than you are now."

"I don't want to be anything more, I like who I am!"

In KFP4, Po pushes against this narrative despite fully accepting it in KFP3, actively reversing crucial parts of his character development achieved in the latter. KFP3 was non-ambiguously about learning to cope with change and responsibility, and I can't help but feel like KFP4 is simply copying this message while not adding anything to it.

Additionally, I felt that KFP4's Po generally felt less personal than he has in the past. In every KFP movie up to the franchise's most recent addition, I felt very connected to Po as an audience member. I felt like I was truly seeing the world of KFP through his eyes. I consider this to be one of the franchise's most impressive feats; it's incredibly difficult to build a universe around a character without making the audience feel limited to one perspective and one part of the world.

With KFP4, I felt both limited and disconnected. The world didn't feel as vast and all-encompassing as it has in the past and Po didn't seem fully like himself. This could be me nitpicking (as I'm prone to do), but I can't recall a single moment in the movie in which Po was alone on screen. Scenes like these are crucial for me because I see them as a meet-cute between the character and the audience, a moment for us to cross the bridge into their world in a way that's silent and intuitive. These little bonding moments are absolutely integral to feeling connected to a character.

Po's dream sequence in the first KFP movie is one of the best examples of this. It presents his aspirations, alludes to his way of life up to the point of the movie, and showcases his personality. During Po's dream sequence, the audience is quite literally inside Po's mind; we're there with him, seeing what he sees, subsequently feeling what he feels. Po is a dreamer at heart and makes the audience feel like dreamers, too.

In KFP4, I felt like I little to no point of reference when it comes to how Po was feeling. I didn't feel immersed in him and his world.

I know I've been very "doom and gloom" throughout this post, which is an exhausting mindset for everyone involved. I want to end my critique with something positive because I think some praise is deserved. Let's just say the movie could have been a lot worse, the details of which I'm sure you're all well aware.

The color palette of the movie is beautiful and somewhat reminiscent of the first film. While the animation style of KFP4 is far more simplistic than its predecessors, I was very impressed with its use of shadow and light. Po's many faces were also hysterical, props to those who helped make him as expressive as he is.

Additionally, the movie's action sequences were clearly thought out and discussed in great detail. The experimentation with camera angles was really fun to watch and I enjoyed the majority of the film's fight scenes. They were fun, bouncy, and entertaining, and quite likely reinstated audiences's love of watching a cuddly panda kick butt.

Congratulations, you've reached the end! Thank you so much to all of you who took the time to read this unnecessarily long and detailed review. As long as I help someone translate their conflicted feelings into coherent thoughts, I'll call it a win.

I want to reiterate that I don't hate Kung Fu Panda 4 and I had fun while watching the film. It has its flaws and there are a lot of aspects that I dislike, but the effort of the crew is obvious and I greatly admire and respect the hard work put into the film by those who worked on it. This does not at all excuse my issues with the movie, but it's worth saying.

As for the future of the series, I only hope that the next installment is more considerate of the franchise's origins and why Po's story is being told in the first place. I fully believe that another sequel could be good given a strong, passionate crew with a great understanding of the characters and world (and I wouldn't be averse to some previous directors returning, just to put it out there).

Thanks again to those who took the time to read this crazy excuse for a movie review. Feel free to either disagree with me or add things in the replies/reblogs, I'm always looking for more thoughts to think.

Until next time!

[karda]

oooooo

Did you like a quiet place day one? Sam was my favorite

i actually cant watch horror movies because of the illness™ i just like men

[martyrbat]

so many of you talk about the cruel adults in your childhood that negatively effected you and caused lifelong insecurity yet you're still perfectly fine with being that mean stranger to any kid that has the misfortune of existing around you and thats just really gross !!!

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also marble hornets fun fact #92 like it's fun that for once the neurotypical agenda accidentally got a win: when in that s1 "interview" episode apparently there was no particular plan to have tim be a recurring character before a strong audience response of speculation that there must be something more going on with this guy because his fidgeting with a notebook all throughout the video was indication of Liar's Anxiety or whatever; in reality tim sutton was not making any acting choice (to serve then-nonexistent writing) but was spontaneously being someone often fidgeting with paper. then call that unfolding developments

[aberooski]

I think I'm gonna have to watch pirates of the caribbean all over again to satiate the demon that's awoken inside of me after all of this akaksk

[breitzbachbea]

One thing Lovino must learn against his will in the Rake courtship AU, if he is at the O'Connel's, is how horny his cousin is for his husband's physique. Sometimes, Michele just wants to watch Harry do the physically intense process of actually pressing the printing press and twirl his hair. Harry's fucking yoked and Michele is so into it.

[roobylavender]

how was the new black panther? did you enjoy it?

it was a coherent movie as far as marvel movies go but in true marvel fashion bc this is part of a franchise which requires each movie to hit certain plot points it was juggling so many subplots as to feel threadbare at times. the tribute to chadwick was there obv but i wonder what it would have been had this been a truly independent movie that didn’t need to worry about the extrinsic universal stuff

related to that the maintained cia presence in these movies at the expense of other characters is so annoying lol. more on that later considering it forms my biggest gripe with the movie (surprise surprise) but i was really frustrated with how minimal nakia’s role was in this considering her connection to t’challa. obv focus on shuri was paramount but i personally think they should have been co-mcs rather than nakia being relegated to a secondary role

the performances were phenomenal. i think letitia wright took a little while to come into it but by the second half she was enrapturing and angela of course took my breath away so many times. i also loved tenoch’s ability to express this palpable grief and anger and yearning all at once. his command of the character was subtle but so enthralling

the costuming was also so gorgeous like i was a bit peeved by the rest of the movie visually bc the cgi was so bland and the fight sequences were mostly like bluntly cut melee sequences not to mention the first half of the movie was so badly lit but the costuming definitely saved it for me like godddd angela and lupita and tenoch looked ethereal at all times

from what i understand in the comics namor attacks wakanda for no good reason so the evolved lore in this movie complicates that a bit bc now he does have a good reason to be at odds with wakanda’s mission statement but of course in true state sponsored media fashion his initial antagonism against colonizers and their facilitators is so exaggerated as to make him holistically genocidal so that viewers are justified in accepting that he is a villain. so yay for race bending but nay for the fact that regardless of that race bending he is essentially doomed from the start even though he is introduced to have valid grievances that run parallel to wakanda’s

more specifically on that, below is my main takeaway from the movie, esp in context of the fact that originally the cia factored way more into the conflict between the two nations but apparently this was scaled back in script revisions lol..

[in-tua-deep]

i need you to know that ever since three years ago when you posted the first part of your tua hogwarts au, i have been deeply obsessed with it. it has lived with me rent free for three long years. nonstop.

adfsSFDghASDF i'm glad !! i do really have a guilty pleasure for hogwarts aus, though it's for a version that i've built in my head based on my siblings retellings and fandom over the years! admittedly i,,, never actually read the whole series even as a kiddo

though fun fact: one of my earliest memories is going to see the first harry potter movie in 2001 when i was like, four-ish? i fell asleep and woke up during the part where the unicorn is being vampire'd which certainly made an impression lol

sometimes i think i'd like to properly write it up but that would require a deeper dive into hp than i'm willing to make tbh, though i get away with surface knowledge and quickly googled questions in my little scribbly tumblr posts ;3c

[violetclarity]

Had to order a new copy of Prisoner of Azkaban this week for work (normally I wouldn’t put any more money in her pocket, obviously, but we are a library serving middle schoolers and the copy I was replacing had literally detached from its binding) and I forgot that the summary is all “Sirius Black, most notorious prisoner in all of Azkaban, Voldemort’s heir apparent, murdered twelve people” and I was so shook because I forgot that’s how he is introduced and you don’t get the full picture of the Marauders until like? book six?

Anyway I was so overcome for a minute that I almost tried to engage one of my coworkers in conversation about how many emotions the marauders plot line gives me. That’s how distracted I was. I almost WENT TO ANOTHER ROOM to FIND MY COWORKER and try to discuss the fact that REMUS AND SIRIUS WERE IN LOVE.

[regallibellbright]

God, I hope I manage to get people reading this fic even a HUNDREDTH as invested in this character and the family I completely invented out of whole cloth for him who have been living rent-free in my head for like two years now and steadfastly refused to make a story work until now, because I needed to get a good bit out of my head before I went to sleep, made myself cry because I cry ABSURDLY easily, and now it’s like four hours later and I need to actually get to FUCKING BED ALREADY but words keep coming, my fic is too sad, and I use a CPAP that already finds my face shape tricky and don’t want to combine that with my messy crying.

I’m just saying, it’s not fair I inflict this on myself while WRITING it. Rereading it later, sure, I’m fine with that, but writing it? What am I doing, using these characters as an outlet for emotional catharsis? Gross. Inefficient. I can’t keep writing when I need to routinely stop and wipe my eyes.