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gaemkyuu · 4 years

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Mommy will you marry Charlie? (Charlie Gillespie x Fictional Character)

Warnings: mention of teenage pregnancy A/N: I was pleasantly surprised at the amount of love “Mommy can we keep him” received. I was originally going to upload the proposal AND the wedding, but I’ve been struggling a bit with the wedding portion. I hope you enjoy the proposal! Disclaimer: This is a FICITONAL writing piece! In no way do I claim characters in this piece act this way in real life.

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Mommy will you marry Charlie?

“Hey! Are you ready to go?” Charlie knocked and popped his head into Riley’s ensuite, pausing to take in her beauty. She was dressed in a pretty summer dress and placed a few more bobby pins into her hair, smiling at him in the mirror.

“Just about. Are Owen and Savannah here?” Riley’s answer came at that moment when the doorbell rang. Charlie left the ensuite and headed for the door just as Emerson got to it.

“Emmy, what did we say about answering the door?” Charlie chastised, moving quicker to the door. Emerson slightly pouted knowing he was right and sat on the entryway bench, waiting for Charlie to open the door. “You guys are just in time!” “No thanks to Owen” Savannah scoffed, motioning to the giant behind her.

“I hadn’t eaten yet, I needed My Chick-fil-A, but then I forgot to order some for Emmy, so we had to go back through the drive through” he sighed, showing him the two bags of take out in his hands. “Where is the little stinker?”

“I’m not stinky! I took a bath!” she hopped on the entryway bench and into Savannah’s arms first, Owen dramatically displayed his offense to the toddler.

“How come she gets a hug first?! I brought you Chicken Strips!” Savannah picked her up and balanced her on her hip. “I even convinced the lady to give you two books!”

“Aunty Savannah didn’t call me stinky and knows that I ate supper before you came.” she giggled and shook her head. “Plus, I like the chicken nuggets and not the strips” Owen rolled his eyes and muttered a ‘oh come on’ under his breath, but as soon as Savannah put her down, Emerson gave Owen’s leg a hug.

Riley came to the front door and greeted her friends, thanking them again for being so willing to babysit while they went out for the evening. After Charlie and Emerson’s date, the couple decided that they would go on more family dates as a request from the little girl and Charlie. Riley didn’t think anything of it, but she certainly didn’t want to come between the relationship they were both developing. This was the first time Emerson ever really accepted another man into their lives.

At the young age of 18 and saving enough money, Riley moved out of her mother’s home in Chino Hills to a one bedroom, one bath in downtown LA that was closer to her office. Riley was grateful that her mom agreed to come over to their apartment to babysit Emerson while she was at work as it helped her to save up more money to eventually move into a chic modern home on the outskirts of downtown. She was always so focused on providing for Emerson that she rarely let anyone into her life and when she did, she always had to make sure that they got the seal of approval from Emerson.

There was Nick from the marketing department at Netflix who she thought was cute, but he wasn’t very open to the idea of potentially becoming a dad so early on. Emerson really didn’t like him as she would cry every time he looked at her or moved towards her. That didn’t last more than three weeks.

Then there was Jaime from the grocery store who loved children and really liked Riley, but Emerson didn’t like the fact that Riley made more money than Jaime and warned her mom several times about him, despite her young age. Riley learned her lesson that sometimes four year olds are very perceptive because Jaime asked to borrow money for his rent a month later.

Lastly, there was Greg, a single dad who had twins the same age as Emerson. That didn’t last because the kids would often fight. Emerson thought the children were dumb and immature, while the twins thought Emerson was acting like a weird grown up.

Riley always prioritized Emerson in any decision making process she had, but at her core she felt lonely. She couldn’t tell her daughter this despite her intelligence. She was still a child. What kind of a mother would she be if she vented to her child? But Emerson knew her mom was lonely. She often heard her crying in the pantry and quietly talking on the phone late at night. That’s why when Charlie walked in their lives, she knew she had to play nice for a little while for the sake of her mother. Neither girls expected that Charlie would become such an important piece of their lives.

“Emerson we will be back past your bedtime, so give me kisses now” Riley requested as she hugged her little girl and peppered her with kisses. She giggled and kissed her mother back until she let go. Instinctively, Charlie knelt down too and opened his arms, giving her a quick peck on the head. Emerson gave him a hug back and kissed him on the cheek, the gesture garnering a loud “aw” from Owen, as the girls silently admired the interaction. Charlie rolled his eyes and whispered to Emerson quickly, making her giggle as his breath tickled her ear and neck.

“You guys should get going so we can start painting Uncle Owen’s nails!” Savannah interrupted, glancing at the time on her phone. “We also get to facetime Uncle Jeremy, Aunty Carolyn and Aunty Madison too!” Emerson got super excited and skipped to her bedroom to grab her “nail kit”, a toy Savannah had bought her last Christmas. With a laugh, the couple headed out the door and off to supper.

As soon as the door closed, the two friends and Emerson got to work. They were in on the plan and set about decorating their house. Emerson and Charlie had gone to PartyCity a few days ago while Riley was at an executive meeting and picked out a bunch of decorations for his proposal. At first, Charlie was hesitant, but Emerson was absolutely sure her mother said yes. Knowing his past of always being proven wrong by Emerson, he decided to listen to the little girl and follow her lead.

“Remember, mommy had me when she was a kid so she missed out on kid things. Do a bunch of kid things with mommy!”

That’s what prompted Charlie to take her to Santa Monica. Charlie had made a reservation at a restaurant on the Santa Monica beachfront and the two enjoyed a lovely casual dinner. They talked about projects they were excited about and started ‘people watching’ from their seats, laughing and making silly jokes about the people who passed them by. After dinner, they set out to do “Kid Things” and played games on the pier, settling for mini donuts as dessert and eventually watching the sunset. Charlie tensed for a moment, but quickly relaxed as he felt the small box in his pocket.

“Mommy won’t say yes unless I’m there. She would be too busy thinking about me before she says yes, so ask her at home”

“But what about bedtime?”

“I mean if you say I can stay up, then that should be okay right?”

“You okay? You looked tense for a second” Riley snapped him out of his thoughts, but he was grateful that she shivered because it gave him a chance to change the topic.

“Yeah, I was just thinking about the sunset in Dieppe. Can’t wait to take you one day. Cold?” he draped his denim jacket over her shoulders, and hugged her from behind. As soon as the glow from the sunset disappeared and the glow of the carnival lights replaced them, Charlie decided that instead of walking on the beach, they would go home and watch a movie on the couch. They spent the drive back to Riley’s place in a comfortable silence with the radio gently playing music. Charlie started to feel more excited and antsy the closer they got to her place. Before exiting the car, he held her hand in his and kissed the back of it. “I love you, you know that?” Riley smiled, nodded and kissed him on the lips. Charlie raced her to the door, knowing full well that he would beat her to it, but that didn’t stop Riley from trying. They stumbled through the entry a fit of giggles and laughter, but Riley stumbled on a pair of shoes.

“Charlie! I told you to... put your shoes...away?” she became more confused as she stared at the pair. They weren’t Owen’s, Charlie’s, Savannah’s or Emmerson’s. Who could be in their house? She looked up to see Charlie nowhere in sight and began to worry. “Char, this isn’t funny. This is like the scene from a horror movie” she quickly shed her shoes and walked down the corridor to the living room. She didn’t expect to see her mother, Charlie’s mom and their closest friends standing behind Charlie and Emerson with excited looks on their faces. To add to her confusion, they held party poppers and noise makers, while a giant Congratulations banner decorated her living room. She heard Emerson clear her throat and Charlie stood proudly beside her.

“Dear mommy, I stayed up past my bedtime because Charlie said I had to” everyone in the room laughed at this, as Emerson continued to read from the piece of paper in her hands.

“Mommy, you work so hard to give me the best life and the best toys. Sometimes I wonder how I can give you the best life and the best toys, but adults don’t play with toys. I asked aunty Carolyn why she was so happy with uncle Jeremy, and she said it was because she gets to be with uncle Jeremy forever” Carolyn wiped the tear that had formed in her eyes.

“I asked uncle Owen why aunty Carolyn and uncle Jeremy got to be together forever, and that’s when uncle Owen said it was because they were married.” She took a deep breath and lost her place on her paper. Charlie peaked over and pointed to where she needed to keep reading from.

“Oh, right. When I asked you were getting married, you told me never and that it was a rude question, but I think that was because you had a bad day at work” despite the teary eyes, her comment made everyone laugh.

“So I asked Charlie to go on a date with me and ask him when he would marry you” Riley gasped as Charlie pulled out the box with the ring, getting down on one knee. “I know Charlie makes you happy and I think you should be together forever. Charlie has a question for you and the answer is yes.”

“Riley King, I love you and I love Emerson. I can’t think of anyone I want to spend the rest of my life with. You and Emerson are my family now, so let’s make it official” Charlie winked at Emerson who put her paper down and also got onto one knee beside Charlie.

“Mommy, will you marry Charlie?” Riley was crying full tears at this point listening to her daughter’s words, but she nodded and whispered a yes. Everyone erupted in a cheer and the party poppers went off as he put the ring on her finger, kissing her and picking up Emerson. “You did so good, Emmy!”

“You’re gonna be my daddy!!!” Emerson exclaimed, full of excitement and squeezing Charlie.

Riley wiped her tears and kissed her daughter on the cheek, truly speechless. Everyone came around to congratulate them, Savannah, Madison, and Carolyn all wanting to see the ring first and then hugs. She was on cloud nine, still not able to understand how this was all being planned behind her back. “Is that why you volunteered to babysit?” Savannah nodded her head sheepishly and hugged her friend. Charlie’s mother gave her a big hug congratulating her on their engagement expressing her excitement to have another daughter in law, while Riley’s mother hugged Charlie, crying happy tears. The rest of the evening was spent enjoying everyone’s company that the couple lost track of time. By the time they said goodbye to Owen, the last to leave, Emerson had fallen asleep on the couch.

“You mean to tell me, you planned this entire thing with my daughter behind my back?” Charlie smiled and nodded, picking the little girl up from the couch, careful not to wake her up. “I mean, I am touched, but I’m also afraid of what else you two are capable of doing”

“Just wait til you hear her ideas for the wedding.” Charlie chuckled as they headed to her room to tuck her in for the night. He put the little girl into bed and Riley watched the whole scene from the doorway, tears coming to her eyes as it finally sank in that this was her family. Emerson stirred and shifted around, uncomfortable all of a sudden. Charlie cooed at her and assured that she was fine, humming softly to her, something that he often used since the first night he helped her through a nightmare.

“G’night daddy” she mumbled in her sleepy daze, settling back to sleep. Charlie was taken off guard as the new title fell from her mouth. He felt his heart explode and wiped a tear that fell from his eyes.

“Sleep tight Princess” he sniffled, clearing his throat and kissing the top of her head. He pulled another blanket over her frame as she often got cold in the middle of the night. It amazed Riley how much Charlie knew of her daughter despite the amount of time he had been present in their lives. They softly shut the door behind them and walked hand in hand to their room. “Planning the wedding is going to be fun”

“I was thinking we do it in Dieppe or Moncton” Riley suggested, something to which Charlie lit up at. He looked at her with wide eyes in disbelief.

“If you’re pulling an Emerson on me right now, I’m going to be so mad” they had come up with the term ‘pulling an Emerson’ to describe the sarcasm they often received from the little girl. But Charlie became overjoyed as Riley bit her lip and shook her head, confirming that she did in fact want to get married in his hometown.

“We start planning tomorrow”

A/N: if you really want a wedding scene or a glimpse of life after the wedding let me know!

#charlie gillespie #charlie gillespie x reader #charlie gillespie fanfiction #charlie gillespie imagines #fanfiction #imagine #owen joyner

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reversecreek · 4 years

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struts onto the dash carrying this deliriously wriggling little elf in my arms like a swaddled bebe......... they’re genuinely my oldest muse of all time i think i created them when i was like. 13 possibly. n i haven’t written them in Years but. i’m literally so excited to jst vibrating w muse. smiles at u all demurely..... they have risen. u can find their pinterest here n their playlist here.

* alana champion, nonbinary + they/them | you know nyla palmer, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, eight months? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 6669 (i don’t know if you know) by neon indian like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole a two headed doll of a prairie girl with stitched on rabbit ears and butterfly wings, befriending shadow puppets & finding god with your eyes open underwater in a public pool you broke into thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is march 2nd, so they’re a pisces, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her )

HISTORY:

was born in georgiaaaa georgiaaaa (phoebe bridgers voice holds my bang...) to a vry honest hard working man named george (omgggg he’s called GEORGE and he’s from GEORGIA? ahaaaaa fuckk ur jestinggg) nd a woman who did her best named pamela..... george worked on a construction site n pamela was a pharmacist..... their house was this small rickety white thing with a wrap around porch n a very rabid overgrown garden tht kind of looked like the earth ws trying to reclaim it bc nobody ever hd the time or motivation to mow the lawn.... there ws literally a piece of fold out furniture just entirely submerged by weeds n foliage

nyla ws always closest w their dad george..... he hd this way of looking at the world tht was seeing the best in all of it.... he took them on long walks where he talked abt how u have to respect the trees bc they’re breathing fr us n we’re breathing fr them..... he hd a strange whimsical sense of humour n a gnome alter ego called grundlebolt who always tickled them..... in a way this closeness created a distance between nyla n their mother but not so much that it ws rly a problem. just enough tht nyla sometimes waited until their mother ws out of eye n ear shot to tell their dad they loved him bc they didn’t wna make her sad >_>

(mental health, death & grief tw) pamela always struggled w her mental health but george ws great n understanding n knew how to help her thru this... nyla didn’t get it too greatly at a very young age bt they knew their mum got “the sads” sometimes (how their dad wld explain tht she needed to lay down in the quiet for a while or why she’d stood at the stove n let the dinner burn until the smoke detector went off without doing anything abt it). when nyla was 14 they got home one day to a police car in the driveway n came prancing in exuberantly as they always did. immediately hugged the legs of an officer bc this is hw they wld greet everyone they ever met. they only realised something was wrong when they let go n saw their mum sat at the table crying. essentially there ws an accident at the construction site george worked at n :/ yeah.

(jst mental health & grief tw now) this rly had an intense ripple effect on everyone tbh. pamela’s mental health deteriorated quite a lot without george there as her rock n nyla sort of had to step in as best they cld but it was....... hard. some days she ws better bt some days nyla had to sit her in the bath n stroke a wet sponge over her back bc they didn’t know how else to calm her down. nyla always had a very overactive imagination which george encouraged bt it ws like. losing him rly opened a window in nyla’s head n all rationality went floating out of it. their dreams seemed more real than being awake. fantasy wasn’t jst the way they coped bt it was the way they thought n the way they saw. everything on earth was alive. the trees n the clouds n the wall with a brick missing at the bottom of her road n especially their dad. their dad was alive in everything in nyla’s head. the sun shining extra bright in the morning was george. ponds were a veil they could dunk her head under and find george waiting on the other side. reality rly just pulled the plug n said bye tbh n they were ok w that <3

(abuse implied tw) their mum remarried too fast to a man named stephen n it was jst not a good arrangement. he was Not a nice man. i won’t go into this but home wasn’t a nice place for nyla any more n after a couple of yrs stephen wound up asking them to leave n their mum said nothing to contradict tht. there’s more to this bt long story short nyla left <3

(drugs tw) they couch surfed fr a while before settling living w their best friend. they got up to like... all sorts of trouble n grew up far too fast. nyla’s lack of sense n realism hd a habit of getting them into some sticky situations n these few yrs were a rollercoaster where they got by on the skin of their teeth. when they think of high skl they think of gravel and skinned knees and sucking sherbet dunkers to ignore the taste of pennies in ur mouth and getting lost in the woods a lot bc they’d take FAR too many drugs n be lead astray having conversations with kind trees whose branches held their hands

(drug mention) got by on odd jobs like making candles n selling them at market stalls. leaf blowing at cemeteries. face painting fr children’s parties (where they were blatantly high). random stuff. all over the place. in this time them n their best friend also hd a sugar daddy named tony who always wore very impressive colour block suits n mink stoles n jewelled fedoras n hd a swanky apartment w marble floors. rly just. surreal. lots of strange stories frm this time.

things kind of blew up in their friendship group n they fell out w their best friend raya bc she slept w this guy aj who nyla hd been madly in love w for yrs.... he was a Stinker n honestly so ws their best friend so good riddance i say bt obviously it felt like having their entire world flipped upside dwn fr nyla.... they split after this came out bc they just did Not want to b around these ppl any more n they decided to leave w this guy frm a band they barely knew tht much save fr a one night stand to tour w them..... this ws another whirlwind. jst chock full of them. it ws similar to being on a teacup ride at a carnival n spinning round n round n only knowing u were surrounded by lots of lights. tht’s how they’d best describe their time on tour.

SO in terms of them coming to irving 8 months ago they came w the band.... they honestly did pretty well on tour n wound up renting a big beach house on dorado as a kind of “retreat” sort of place fr them to shack up in while they worked on writing and recording their first big studio album (they gt signed w a label so it’s all vry exciting stuff). nyla among like 3 others were allowed to stay w them too bc they hd a lot of fun on tour. literally jst. taken on as professional groupies essentially. nyla loved it bc they’d never seen the ocean n when they first got there they jst threw off all their clothes n ran straight into the water. it was 3pm on a tuesday afternoon. they got arrested fr public indecency n didn’t get why bc they were like but i just wanted to hug the ocean u silly little oinker? i picture the beach house as like. the loudest one on dorado.... comes alive like a jungle at night..... they r probably bad neighbours. anyway. onto personality puts hand on hip.

PERSONALITY:

sets out patio furniture on someone else’s lawn n jst takes a seat n leans back like ahhhhh vat a nice day to be alive ya! (swedish accent suddenly bc they think it’s fun). they come out n start yelling n they’re jst so confused they’re like hey wat’s the big idea hey wat’s go on here why u angies why this happen?

likes drawing imaginary veins over their arms in all different colour blue pens in a sudden fit of hyperfixation n then forgets all abt it n goes out like tht n scares several townsfolk bt they’re oblivious they’re jst in her own world loving life already onto the next fixation. has many many different fads like this. one day will jst start snipping up a bunch of magazines bc they’re like EYES ARE COOL N THEY SEE EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P n they’ll stick a bunch of them over their wall n then forget they was doing that n leap onto the next. quite a pattern. bt they love the vein thing a lot it makes them feel like a walking planetarium like they have their own constellations

sometimes jst doesn’t make sense. they’re honestly kind of strange. pops up in places like they suddenly materialised there n it’s like how did u get there where have u been when were u last seen are u ok. has the energy of an ancient deity frm deep in a mountain cave n an ambiguous forest sprite all at once..... talks shit honestly. abt anything n everything. sometimes outrageous. sometimes plain incoherent. like what are u talking about? i dnt kno. even i dnt kno sometimes.

luvs stick n pokes will let anyone tattoo whatever they want on them for the price of a gummy bear kindly placed onto their tongue n swallowed whole

has this obsession w being underwater w their eyes open luvs it. calls it their tadpole time. runs baths just to lie there blinking looking around n drifting her arms. best friends w the bottom of any local swimming pool n hs probably given it a quick kiss so it knows they’re bff’s n then got sick bc there’s sm germs in a public pool. says the kgb probably poisoned their oatmeal n r finally here to deliver on their promise n THAT’S why they got sick unrelated to the pool incident. what promise? noone knows.

unclear if they believe what they say or if they jst has a very expanded sense of humour where they nvr let on if they’re joking.... lines r blurred a lot.....

loves excitedly shouting things. sometimes just screams at the sky bc they say it’s good to let the creatures in ur belly fly out every once in a while otherwise their wings get sore.

(drugs tw) still does an excessive amt of hallucinogens n it kind of shows. very bad fr their brain bt we’re going to ignore it.

dresses fun n strange n eccentric n careless. loves to experiment. does nt care abt what’s considered to be societally appropriate. living in their own world.

sleeps around a lot... jst doesn’t rly see sex as a big deal.... very free w themselves in that way..... sometimes greets their friends w a kiss on the lips they’re like awww :) kisses <3 when they run into them in the middle of the cereal aisle n then pulls away n suddenly breaks into a box tht has a free toy in it bc it’s a banana with googly eyes n that’s the best thing they’ve ever heard in their LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! n isn’t he so HANDSOME????? enchante indeed my good sir ;)... gives the toy a kiss too.

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

other groupies of the band: self explanatory a little.... i dnt have a name for the band yet bt all can b worked out..... i picture them as kind of. not that nice but like. there for a good time........ rock genre.... bit chaotic...... to say the least........ they dnt have to have come there w the band like nyla n the others they cld have been adopted in their time there.... whoever wld b wild n down fr a good time <3

chaotic trash goblin friends: idk what this title rly means it just came to me in a vision....... jst ppl tht r rly kind of off the rails n don’t care abt anything...... they r who nyla tends to mesh very well w......... they rly r living in their own world n by their own rules n they like ppl who do this too <3 inevitably they get up to no good n party far too much...... cld be angst to this if they enable each other’s bad habits...... world’s our oyster. opens my office door. let’s talk abt it.

nyla set up camp on their front lawn: maybe jst w a fold out chair. maybe w a literal pop up tent w someone else too. genuinely so bizarre of them bt that’s what we’re dealing with. they poke their head into the tent n nyla’s lying down crunching on a cracker crumbs over their tits n they just hold it out to them nt even fully consumed n are like hey polly want a cracker? :)

they responded to her craigslist ad: they posted one saying they cld cleanse their house of demonic energy bc they’re an all seeing eye in touch w the spirits. this is a lie. they came n waved sage around n did a little dance as they did it w bird sounds playing on a special cd they brought fr the occasion (had weird indistinct doodles over the case it ws brought in) n then ws like OOH! scary.... n jumped at something in the hall. they go in thinking maybe they’ve seen a ghost bt they just were startled by their own reflection in a mirror n is like. scary mirror placement...... might wna reconsider that........ they charge them merely 10 dollars fr their time n is like this was so fun we shd do it again some time :) also i think u have mould on ur bathroom tile! vanishes. they dnt recall them ever going to the bathroom.

came knocking asking for items for a garage sale: yes. u heard that right. they’re asking for ur muses things to set up their own garage sale. selling items that do not belong to them. they think this is a genius business strategy n don’t understand why ppl think this is so strange or why they cant just ask ppl to donate them things to sell bc hey they’re an entrepreneur? they even had a pencil behind their ear when they knocked on the door so why aren’t ppl taking their business seriously? probably got distracted several times trying to explain their pitch n chattered abt random other things instead.

honestly anything... fwbs... flings... good influence... someone who cnt stand the fact they’re barely coherent.... someone they stopped on the street one day n asked for their opinion on water beds.... we cn do literally anything. fling ur chara my way n we can talk.

#irvingintro #mental health tw #death tw #grief tw #drugs tw #abuse tw

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yamithediaperdork · 3 years

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From attack mode to big baby mode (YGO 5DS)

From attack mode to baby mode

The first thing Yusei noticed when he woke up was that he'd apparently been moved in his sleep. It was the only way to explain how his normal room had suddenly gotten a make over of having baby blue walls with a series of chibi duel monsters on the walls , Toss in the fact as he sat up he could see he was in a crib, not to mention there being a well stocked changing table against one wall with a diaper pail next to it and well, no shit he'd been moved. One worrying fact about the diaper pail though was that his name was on the thing. 'Last time I checked I don't wear huggies..that's more of a Luna and Leo thing.' He thought and went to stand up and forth as a loud crinkle was heard and there was a bulk between his legs. 'Then again..' A blush came to his face as he reached down and poked at the massive white diaper that had dragon type themed tapes and he realized he was in just his new found padding and a blue t-shirt with 'Lil stinker' on the front in white letters. He also realized as he poked his padding that he was one very soggy little guy. Oddly this didn't seem to bug him as much as it should, most of his discomfort came from the fact he wanted out of the wet diaper then he was in a nursery and dressed like a big baby. "Uh..Hello? anyone there?..I could er.. reallllly do with a diaper change." he called out looking around his apparently new room. there was a baby monitor on a dresser so he was sure someone would be in shortly, and he noticed a toy chest filled with stuffies that oddly were calling his attention. Taking in stock of his new bed, he noted the crib was about the size of a queen sized bed, with a very soft mattress and had more of the chibi duel monsters on the sheets and from the crinkle and crackle he guessed there was a rubber sheet on under the main one. there was a light pink fuzzy blanket that he'd been covered up with and a like wise pink pillow with more then a few wet spots from where he'd been drooling up a river in his sleep. there was also a stuffie of the ancient fairy dragon, looking a little worn but as he saw it a silly grin came over his face and with one hand on the sturdy wooden rail of his crib, he bent down to pick it up. As he did so he let out a HUGH fart though then had the curious feeling of a lot of hot mud filling up the back of his diaper as he tried to figure out what had just happened, looking puzzled and getting his stuffie and hugging it to his chest. 'Huh.. some kinda warm mud spell?' He thought at first then it ever so slowly dawned on him as the smell reached his nose what he'd done. 'I just..I just made ..In..My diaper..With..No control?' He thought, hugging the stuffie close and whimpering. Again oddly he wasn't as embarrassed as he should of been it was more he didn't like the warm squishy feeling or the smell and without any self control started to tear up then bawl. "I went poopie! Wahhh!" he sobbed like a big baby. The door to the nursery opened up and there was Luna, in a set of pink jammies and rushing over to the crib. "Shhh shhh it's ok Yusei, it's alright, big sister is here!" She coo'ed to the distract over sized baby and then she was lowering the bars. Her nose seemed to wrinkle at the smell but she didn't say anything about it, only muttering words of comfort as she helped him out of the crib. Leo followed her after about 20 seconds though he reacted as if he'd hit a wall as the stink hit him and held his nose. "whew! I told you that prune baby food was a bad idea!" He joked and grinned. "Leo! Not now! the baby is upset!" She scolded as she Helped Yusei up onto the changing table, his diaper squishing as he got on there and making him bawl louder. "Shhh it's ok Little Yusei. Big bro and sis are here, Just play with fairy dragon like a good little one and we'll get you alll cleaned up." Yusei had a lot of questions, but none of them came out as he instead just sniffled and whimpered and then nodded. "Otay." He lisped.

One smelly diaper change later during which Yusei had at one point held the stuffie to his face and whined 'stinky') and he was feeling much better in a clean diaper. He'd had a red and pink paci popped into his mouth and forth himself nursing on it lots as Leo and Luna fought over how to dress him for the day. "you got to dress him yesterday, it's my turn to pick." Luna said, hands on her hips. "Yeah but I'm trying to protect my little bro! you're gonna dress him like a sissy again!" Leo huffed, arms crossed. "Don't be jealous just because he can pull off a dress and you can't." Luna teased and made Leo huff and blush. "Besides, Little Yusei loves his pretty dresses don't you?" she added, turning to him for a answer. Hugging his stuffie and in just one of the bulky dragon diapers, Yusei found himself nodding and grinning around his paci, though not sure why. "Fine! I give up! it's gonna be a house of girls!" Leo huffed and threw up his hands in mock frustration. "I guess it does help our little bro is SUCH a cute sissy though." he added and patting Yusei's head. the big baby coo'ed and giggled at the head pat while Luna went and picked out two outfits and held them up for Yusei to pick. The left outfit was a light pink top with a darker pink skirt, with a pair of light pink socks and a panty cover that was light pink with darker pink ruffles on the butt. The right outfit was a full on dress, Light blue with puffy shoulders and a longer skirt section, and came with a pair of white tights. "So Little one, which outfit do you wanna wear today? I know we're going to the park but it's ok if you get these dirty..It's Leo's turn to do the landry." Luna said with a impish grin. "Oh, REAL mature." Leo huffed and gave a playful light punch to his sisters shoulder. Yusei squirmed, looking back and forth at his choices and realizing that while never in a million years would of he normally of wore either of these, right now he was actually having a hard time picking which one he wanted! in the end the pink choice seemed like it's be easier for playing in (Somehow the idea of going to the park like this less scared him and more had him happy and excited) and he pointed at it. "Oh good choice! you're going to be the cutest baby there!" Luna coo'ed. "pffft, like he would have any competition if he went in just his diapers. we've got the cutest baby bro!" Leo said. "heh, true!"

Getting the big baby all dressed up took some doing, Yusei honestly kept getting distracted by his stuffie and was making the twins do all the work. But soon he was looking at his reflection and grinning, letting the paci fall from his mouth (it had since been attached to a ribbon and a paci clip which was then clipped to his top) and he coo'ed at the baby gurl in the reflection. "Pwetty!" he giggled and wiggled his hips back and forth. He'd somehow gone from questioning all of this to more or less accepting his situation, though there was a small part of his mind (and getting smaller by the second) wondering just what the heck was going on. "yeah you are. very pretty." Leo said and came up and patted Yusei's ruffled butt. "I'm man enough to admit when I was wrong, this is a very cu- Eek!" Leo went from talking to yelping suddenly as Luna tugged the back of his blue jammie bottoms open and looked down. "Good boy Leo! only some skid marks!" She praised and Yusei started to giggle. "Lunnnnnaaaaa! Not in front of little bro!" Leo huffed as she had him turn around and poked the front of his pants. "Hmm a little soggy, but much better then last week. somebodies almost ready for big boy undies!" She said. Leo went from beaming with pride to then scowling. "Hey! you said these WERE big boy undies cuz they're washable!" He huffed, hands on his hips. "Their still training pants Leo..but ok, I yield to your logic. go get a dry pair on, you know how you can get when your over excited." Luna said and then kissed his cheek and sent him on his way. '..Apparently she's the only fully potty trained on e in the house.. neat.' Yusei thought and giggled at just how silly the whole thing had been. "Come on Lil sis." Luna said and winked as Yusei giggled. "let's go get some num num's in you. don't want a attack from the grumpy monster just because your hungry." As she spoke she took Yusei's hand and lead him to the kitchen where a high chair was ready for him and got him seated and the tray in place with minimal fuss then got him a bowl of cheerios to munch on and a baby bottle of cold white milk. As he munched away Leo came in, having changed into his normal outfit but Yusei noticed the slight puff in the butt as he bent down to get a box of fruit loops out and pour himself a bowl. while the padded boys had their cereal Luna apparently preferred some Eggo's and the three apparently now siblings munched and mostly ate in silence, only broken when as Leo was drinking the last of his milk from his bowl some of it went down the front of his shirt. "I uh..guess I better go get changed huh?" he asked sheepishly. "Maybe you should start wearing one of Yusei's bibs." Luna teased but winked to let him know she was kidding. "nah, like you said, I'm doing landry today anyways. be back in a flash." Leo said and excused himself from the table. before he was totally out of the room Luna called after him. "Make sure you use the bathroom. I'm not packing extra training pants today!" "yeah yeah!" came his reply.

with herself and the big baby fed Luna had Yusei stay in his high chair while she went and got dressed, then coming back she let him out of the highchair and lead him back to the nursery as they started to pack a large pink diaper bag that read 'fairy princess Yusei' on the side. again this was something that SHOULD of had the young adult blushing but instead he just giggled and coo'ed. "Let's see, we're gonna be out for about 5 hours..so to be safe I'll bring five diapers. I know you don't potty THAT often Lil sis but better safe then sorry." Luna said and Yusei shrugged and popped his paci into his mouth and suckled. Luna grabbed the five diapers then paused and turned around. "Can you show big sis how many five is?" She asked, smiling. Yusei giggled and thought that was a silly question and went to hold up the right amount of fingers and beamed. "Oh so close! that's only three! but it's ok." Luna coo'ed and patted his head. the small tiny part of Yusei's mind was befuddled, how could of he made a mistake like that? the rest, just enjoyed the head pat and coo'ed.

to be continued

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thankskenpenders · 5 years

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So there’s this little cartoon you may have heard of...

As I’ve said on this blog before, I’d never watched all of SatAM. This might be shocking to hear from someone who runs a blog dedicated to Archie Sonic and one of the top twenty Bunnie Rabbot fangirls in the world. But it’s true.

SatAM was very difficult to track down compared to other Sonic cartoons when I was a kid, and I just never got around to watching it as an adult. So for the longest time, I had only ever seen the first episode, which I found uploaded in parts on YouTube in 2007. As the one cartoon featuring the characters I liked from the comics, it became sort of this holy grail of Sonic media for me as a kid, especially with people online always talking it up as the best thing ever and petitioning for a revival. Hell, to this day, a lot of people hold it up as this masterpiece and act like the Archie comics were a complete mockery of it

Anyway so I finally got around to watching the whole series with my boyfriend these past couple weeks, and it was pretty good. So instead of covering a comic today, here are some thoughts on the cartoon that started it all

General Thoughts

SatAM is a pretty good show. It isn’t the greatest piece of Sonic media ever, unlike what some older fans will tell you. It might not even be the best Sonic cartoon (you could easily make a case for the Japanese version of Sonic X, or Sonic Boom if you’re looking for something more comedic). It hasn’t aged the most gracefully, in some ways. The animation’s cheap, the stories sometimes bland. But for a DiC-produced video game cartoon from the early ‘90s, it’s really solid

I think that in many ways, SatAM is carried by the strength of its ideas over its actual execution. The darker, more serious tone is a really cool idea, even if at times it can get a little dull, and even if the show actually gets silly as hell pretty often. (This is a show where Snively literally tortures a captive Antoine by preparing French cuisine improperly.) That opening scene of Robotropolis in the first episode actually sets the mood really well and feels like it came straight out of some cyberpunk anime from the ‘80s or ‘90s. The concept of Robotnik turning people into robot slaves is really cool, even if surprisingly little was done with this aside from Uncle Chuck’s storyline. And I think the Freedom Fighters make a great supporting cast for Sonic, even if the writers didn’t use them to their full potential

Interestingly, I’d often heard from fans that season one was the stronger of the two, when I’d say that the opposite is true. Season one episodes were pretty samey, usually involving low stakes missions to Robotropolis with no real continuity, and Sally ended up being a damsel in distress more than I’d like--hell, so did Bunnie in a few episodes. It wasn’t bad, but it was highly repetitive, and I got a little bored at times. Season two had a few real stinkers (the Antoine episodes) and Dulcy was an unwelcome addition, but I thought the heavier focus on continuity gave the season some real momentum and more emotional weight, which made it way more enjoyable overall

Things I Liked

Sonic. I quite liked this version of Sonic, actually! Jaleel White is a great Sonic, and he was written pretty well. At times the extremely tubular ‘90s lingo was grating (I never wanna hear “Gotta juice!” again), but I was surprised to see that this version of Sonic had a lot of heart. He really cared about the well-being of his friends and Uncle Chuck, and they even let him cry a couple times. I thought they struck a good balance between snark and sincerity with him

Sally. I don’t think SatAM Sally was perfect, but I liked her. I’m still of the opinion that she should have been given more ways to defend herself physically (maybe some kind of power of her own) so that Sonic didn’t have to save her as much, but I liked the banter she and Sonic had. Unlike the early Archie comics, Sally doesn’t come off as the bossy girlfriend who ruins Sonic’s fun. Maybe it’s Jaleel White and Kath Soucie’s performances doing most of the work, but they had a fun back and forth dynamic, with Sally’s sarcasm keeping Sonic’s ego in check, but there still being clear chemistry between the two of them

I also liked the greatly reduced emphasis on her being a princess compared to much of Archie’s material. Like yeah, it’s there. Her dad’s the king, and left her some classified info via Nicole. But her status doesn’t really affect things much. They don’t talk about her having this grand destiny and being the next in line to rule. It’s clear that she’s in charge of the Freedom Fighters not because of her status, but because she’s smart, brave, and gets shit done. That’s the Sally I like.

Plus! In the finale, Sally insisted upon going with Sonic for the final confrontation, and was a crucial part of the climax. Her powering up with Sonic and matching his speed and strength ruled. Compare that to the climactic defeat of Robotnik in Archie, where she was fucking dead

Robotnik. I don’t think much needs to be said here. Jim Cummings rules as Robotnik, like everyone has always said. He’s just so evil and so much fun to watch

Snively??? I’ve never cared for Snively as a character, but Charlie Adler rules and his over-the-top performance made the character way funnier than he should’ve been. Just something about all the little noises he makes, and the way he almost shifts into the Red Guy voice at times

Nicole. It was fun to see Nicole start to get more of a personality in season two, having some banter with Sonic and also picking up some slang from him. It makes the later decision to turn Sally’s computer into a full character (which would have happened in season three, and obviously eventually became a big subplot in the comics) make a lot of sense

King Acorn. While he was only around briefly, I liked that he wasn’t a huge dick, unlike Archie’s King Max

Things I Didn’t Like

The misuse of the other Freedom Fighters. This is, by far, the show’s greatest crime.

I already write approximately 100k words a week on this blog about how I think Bunnie Rabbot is amazing and criminally underused, so I’ll keep this brief, but I was shocked to see how little she was used in this show. People tend to say Dulcy stole her screentime in season two, but she didn’t have much to do in the first season either! We somehow never got a single episode focusing on her. The one where she got temporarily deroboticized focused much more on Uncle Chuck. We never got to learn the story behind her roboticization, or delved into her feelings on the matter much. She mostly just served as a positive, lighthearted supporting member of the team who acts cute and gets some funny lines, but usually stays home

Antoine might have been even worse, honestly. Like, they used him so much! They had multiple episodes focusing entirely on him! And yet I’m not sure he ever really helped. Sonic and Sally kept taking him along, but every single time it felt like it would’ve been a wiser decision to bring Bunnie instead. The jokes about his broken English were just dumb, and god, the way he constantly hits on Sally and starts kissing her hand at the most inappropriate times is just SO fucking creepy. SatAM Antoine is just a horrible, one-dimensional stereotype. There’s a reason why readers of the Archie comics wanted him out of the series until later writers majorly rehabilitated him

Rotor also didn’t get much use, which was a shame, but it at least felt like he was used efficiently. I got the vibe that Rotor was much more bitter about the war with Robotnik than his friends, and it would’ve been interesting to see this explored more. At least we got that one fun episode where he went to space with Sonic

Dulcy. Oh my fucking god. I wanted to like Dulcy! I really did! But most of the time she was just a clutz used for comic relief, and they kept reusing the same joke where she crashed, bumped her head, got dizzy, and thought she was talking to her mom. This happened in almost every episode she was in.

The other miscellaneous Freedom Fighters. Like in the early Archie comics, none of the other miscellaneous Mobians they meet were as interesting as the core cast. They just always felt very bland and I was never as invested in them as the writers wanted me to be. Ari was boring, and that episode where they found the underground city and this other dude started hitting on Sally was a drag. Lupe’s cute though

Rings. This is a common problem in Sonic adaptations, but the fact that rings always serve as Sonic’s instant win button kind of sucks. Basically any time Sonic’s in a pinch, he pulls a ring out of his backpack, powers up, and wins. Not exactly a recipe for suspenseful action

Oh, also, I did kinda find it weird how much Sonic and Sally kissed? Like, all the time? Often while their friends just stand there and stare at them? Not something I’d expect from a Sonic cartoon

Things Archie Did Better

I’ll limit this to the first 50 issues or so, since I don’t think it would be fair to compare two short seasons of SatAM to the highlights of nearly 500 issues of comics

Tails. Tails is okay in SatAM, Archie just used him as Sonic’s sidekick way more. He was barely even in the show. Poor little guy only gets to play dirt hockey all day

Bunnie. Again, Bunnie was underutilized in both series, but the Archie comics did her better. They actually showed the story of how she got roboticized (even if it was a silly story), and they got to flesh her out a bit more. Gallagher showing that she was a carrot farmer before her roboticization and saying she wanted to be a hairdresser was at least something. And as I keep harping on, Rich Koslowski’s backup story in #37 where we find out Bunnie has recurring nightmares about her robot parts taking over and making her a threat to her friends? This single backup story did more to flesh her out than all 26 episodes of SatAM combined

Antoine. Not hard to do better than SatAM here, really. He was really bad early on, serving as little more than Sonic’s punching bag, but eventually they started to set up a romance between him and Bunnie and explored his past a bit, saying that Antoine’s father (his personal role model) was a member of the royal guard who was roboticized in the war. While he still had a long way to go, these were important first steps towards him being a decent character. Hell, these days, being Bunnie’s love interest is one of Antoine’s defining characteristics! And it doesn’t come from the cartoon at all

Roboticization in general. I was surprised how little this came up in the cartoon! In the comics, it’s such a central element. We see more of the heroes’ loved ones turned into robots, and we even got some fun stories where characters like Sonic and Sally were roboticized temporarily. The Freedom Fighters’ efforts to reverse the process was a major part of the plot for quite a while. Bunnie’s fear of losing control is a pretty important part of her character (even if it was only touched on briefly), and after they’re rescued, the rest of the Mobians fear that the “Robians” (including Sonic’s entire family) will turn evil again. It comes up a lot! There are interesting things to discuss here! But SatAM only really talks about Uncle Chuck. We never even see what happened to everyone else

Closing Thoughts

SatAM is not the best show in the world, but it is a solid and enjoyable one. It’s easy to see why people who grew up with it are fond of it, even if I think that it’s long past time certain fans quit acting like it’s the only valid take on the Sonic source material and petitioning for a third season. At the very least, the concepts and characters introduced here are strong ones, and it’s easy to see how they spawned over 20 years of comics exploring said ideas in greater detail. While I’m not sure I could recommend it to non-fans, I think it’s definitely worth checking out for Sonic fans who missed out on it (especially fans of the Archie comics)

Anyway I got to see Bunnie dropkick some Swatbots twice her height so I had fun

#tkp post #other media

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killian-whump · 6 years

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OUAT 2x21: Rewatch Blog

Hey everybody! It’s time for another rewatch blog, this time for the big Season 2 finale! Well, the start of it anyway ;) This first half is called “Second Star to the Right...” and I bet you can’t guess what the next part’s called!

...Okay, let’s, uh, not worry about that now. We’ll worry about that next time! For now, let’s start the show!

Aw, poor Bae.

6 months on the streets. That really sucks :(

Aww... Wendy is sweet <3

Hahaha, Gold, that's a little silly, making Whale kiss the bottom of your boot, don't you think?

I mean, the TOP of the boot is so much nicer, then you get to WATCH them do it. Also, the bottom of the boot is just gross. Ew. Not hot at all.

Ummm... what were we talking about? Oh, right. The show.

EMMA AND DADDY CHARMING WITH GUNS BLAZIIIIING

"Haven't you already gone down that road?" Oh, Snow. Your complete lack of faith is... touching? Kinda? No? No.

"Orrrrr maybe it's time for you to let it go?" WHAT DID I JUST SAY, SNOW?

OOOOOOOH GOOD WHUMP SCENE COMING

Hahaha, I never noticed this before, but Hook is the one strapping Regina to the gurney in the background.

KINKY.

I can just imagine how that came about. “No, no, let me tie down the Queen. I’m good at it, you see. Very skilled. I have... skills.” “Is this some sort of sex th-” “No, no, just let me tie up the lass.”

And the hook teasing her cleavage. Hook, you little stinker. I take back anything I ever said about him not having a topping bone in his body. He’s got a little one. Somewhere. Not sure where. It hides most of the time.

"Sorry, mate. Gonna have to say no." <3

EEEEEEE I love this, tho <3 Don’t hate me for it, it’s kinda my thing ;)

Awwwwww <3 The Darlings have taken Bae in <3

Aaaaaaand I hope you enjoyed your red hot minute of belonging in a happy, functional family, Bae. Now here comes news of the shadow -_-

Geez. You guys aren't going to listen to him at all, are you.

"Regina's missing and we think she might be in danger." "...just the way I like her!"

Rumple's in top form this episode, what with the boot-licking and the sass.

"This is one of Regina's tears." WHY DO YOU HAVE ONE OF- "Why do you have one of Regina's tears?" THAT'S SUCH A GOOD QUESTION. "Because I do." THAT IS AN UNSATISFACTORY ANSWER, MR. GOLD.

"Whatever she sees, you'll see. Whatever she feels, you'll feel."

UMMMMM. I don't remember that part. Twice the whump, twice the fun XD

Also, what happened to a simple Locator Spell? XD Not whumpy enough?

NOT THAT I'M COMPLAINING.

"You really can do magic..." Oh, Lacey <3

"My heart is dark because of what I did to Regina." Umm... I think it's 'cos of what you did to Cora, actually. Also, it's more like... a baby guppy of darkness. Very small. Not even a tadpole. I wouldn’t worry about it, really.

Like one of these, but DAAAAAAARK and made of murder.

Snow can't put the drop in her own eye, though? Oh, I guess with only one drop, they have to be sure... Although that sure looks like a lot more than one drop. Eh, whatever. It sounds legit.

...except the drop totally slipped right out of her eye, haha. Oops?

Awww... it didn't wo-

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHUMP

DRAMATIC MUSIC

COMMERCIAL!!!!

I mean, except not, but you can tell that's where one would've been if they'd been there XD

Aw, hell no. Back to the Darlings. They're still not gonna listen to Bae, are they? *siiiiigh*

HE TOLD YOU NOT TO OPEN THE WINDOW.

LIKE THAT SHIT'S NOT FUCKING TERRIFYING

YOU SHOULD BE TERRIFIED RIGHT NOW

DON’T GO WITH THE TERRIFYING SHADOW MAN

WHY WOULD YOU GO WITH THE TERRIFYING SHADOW

WHY WOULD YOU EVEN-

THAT THING IS FUCKING TERRIFYING

WENDY, DON'T BE STUPID

WENDY, YOU'RE SO STUPID

Don't be sad, Bae. She was stupid. In time, gravity will get her.

Lana, that was a nice gasp.

Oooh... raspy voicefrom screaming. Threats in the raspy voice. NICE.

Guys, I’m so sorry I’m enjoying this so much, but...

"We're here to cleanse this land of it." That doesn't sound nuts or anything.

I lied, by the way. That sounds hella nuts.

BELIEBERS FOUND HIM!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh, no. He said believers. That's not as funny.

It smelled like sardines. Like, that's maybe a CLUE, guys.

Oh, good. He mentioned the COMPLETELY OBVIOUS clue XD

Good detective work, Emma!

Oh no. We're back here again, at the Darlings'.

Can we go away again? Maybe back to the Cannery? The beach? Tamara's room? ANYWHERE but here? No?

Guess not. We're still here.

*sigh*

This is like a slow train into a brick wall and I hate it. Choo chooooo.

Aw, geez.

Rumple... Geez.

Aw, geez.

Cannery time!

Hahahahahahaha :) I love it when they all pull guns on each other XD

"What the hell, you guys?" Ummm, what the hell, YOU? How did they get down there so fast when you were RIGHT next to this place and they were at the loft? Are you moving at a snail's pace?! Is the loft right upstairs? Where is anything, actually? What is everything?

Did he just... hand Emma his GUN? Why would he- Oh, a walkie-talkie. Okay.

Ahhhhh Regina’s eyes are all red T_T Don't worry, help is coming!!

I love it when help comes :D

Ahhhhhhh "Now go ahead and kill me." SO BRAVE T_T

Aw, shit. We're back with the Darlings again.

AND THEY'RE ARMING THEMSELVES

THE LIGHTS ARE ALL GOING OUT

"Don't be frightened."

IT'S TOO LATE, BAE. I AM VERY FRIGHTENED.

Aww, Bae being heroic!

SEE, Wendy? This is why I TOLD you to listen to him, dammit.

Creepy ass shadow.

Is he trying to fly him to Neverland or trying to KILL his ass DEAD? Seriously, man. FLYING LESSONS. PRONTO. You suck at this, and it’s like, the ONLY thing you fucking DO, you creepy ass shadow.

AHHHHHH Where's the rescue? We need a rescue! All good whump scenes have a-

DAVE TO THE RESCUE!!!!!

That was a pretty good rescue there. Good job, Dave!

Neal: "So I was right, it wasn't Tamara." *Tamara knocks Emma out with a pipe* Neal: "Oh, hiiiiiiiii honey. Whatcha doin’?"

I WOULD'VE PAID MONEY FOR THAT LINE. REAL, ACTUAL MONEY.

Tamara... Ugh. I really don't like her, guys. Like, really.

I know Neal did Emma bad, and I know he's not a great guy by any means, but... Tamara did him worse, honestly. I mean, she was playing him ALL ALONG. That's cold, man. COLD.

Aaaaaaand now she's shot him. And it's not even a good shooting, whump-wise :/ Tamara, you fucking faker, ISTG.

Oh, no, she's gonna shoot him in the he-

EMMA TO THE RESCUE!!!!!

Holy shit, that was some slam into the wall, Emma. Geez. DO IT AGAIN.

Hahahaha, I love how dumb Tamara looks throwing the bean. I wish it had been a dud and just not done anything. That would've been hilarious. "Did you... just throw a BEAN at me?" "Yeah, I, uh... It was supposed to do something..." "That's so sad."

You know, maybe if they'd GOT THEIR ASSES MOVING instead of standing there chatting, Neal wouldn't be getting SUCKED INTO A GIANT GLOWING PORTAL OF DOOM right now. Just a thought.

Ooooh a dramatic "I love you" at the zero hour!

And another one! What is this, Zero Hour Love Confession Christmas?!?!

Bye Neal T_T

SERVES YOU RIGHT, DUMBASS GREG D: That’s what you get for being a giant dumbass, you dumbass.

Shut up, it’s not like YOU’VE never taunted a dude over his dead DAD.

Ummm... How does MAGIC work to remove the magic cancelling cuff? And couldn't, like, any of them just... take it off? Isn't that how they work later in the series?

Oh, wow. Emma. Wow. Good acting there. She looks totally shook.

"Neverland?" Well, where did you THINK you were going, Bae? Seriously? Wendy EXPLAINED this to you.

Into the water he goes.

Aaaaand out of the water he comes.

I WONDER WHO SAVED HIM

HEY, I KNOW THAT VOICE

HEY, I KNOW THAT GUY

Aw, Regina <3 Babe, feel better <3

Aaaaaaand Greg and Tamara are planning to blow Storybrooke off the map.

Meh. Worst villains ever.

PEW PEW PEW PEW

#ouat rewatch #ouat liveblog #watching fairytales #2x21 #oc #kw reviews

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magickmoons · 6 years

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famous!Dean part 5

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Dean looked up at the sound of the bell -- as he had every time someone had walked in during the half-hour he'd been waiting. He kept reminding himself that he'd gotten there insanely early, but with the arrival of each person who wasn't Cas, he became more and more discouraged. Why had Cas agreed to meet with him? The overly dramatic part of his mind wondered if Cas was planning to stand him up and alert the press -- get some nice pics of jilted Dean Winchester.

But it was Cas -- alone -- this time. Dean's heart pounded double-time as Cas walked over. Holy hell, the picture on the University website came nowhere close to capturing how drop-dead sexy adult Cas was. Dean had worked with some of the best looking Hollywood had to offer -- including at least 2 winners of the Sexiest Man Alive award -- and they didn't hold a candle to Cas, who was now taking his seat, staring at Dean intently.

"Hello, Dean."

"Cas ... tiel," he stammered, unsure if the familiar nickname would still be welcome. He nodded at the cup in front of Cas's seat. "I hope you still take it black."

"Thank you," Cas replied stiffly, lifting the cup and taking an experimental sip, fingers playing with the lid when he put it back down.

They sat in silence. Damn it, why had he thought this would be a good idea? Some misguided notion of giving Cas closure wrapped around the selfish hope of forgiveness.

The silence was getting to him and if one of them didn't speak soon, it was going to become fairly insurmountable.

"Cas, um ... Castiel, I --"

"Cas is fine, Dean."

"Okay, cool, yeah ... So, Cas ..."

Cas looked at him expectantly.

"Yeah, that's all I got so far." Dean grimaced sheepishly as Cas laughed.

"Well, we have at least established that we remember each other's names."

Dean tapped his temple. "Like a steel trap."

"Well," Cas started with a deep breath. "How are you?"

"How am I?' Dean repeated incredulously.

Cas shrugged. "I'm really not sure what we're supposed to talk about, Dean."

"Yeah, me neither. I thought this would flow a little better."

Cas frowned at him. "How so?"

"Well, I figured you would come in and just start yelling, we'd get everything out on the table, and go from there."

Cas shook his head. "Yelling is not on the agenda. I don't --"

"You're Dean Winchester!"

They both jumped slightly as a twenty-ish woman appeared next to the table, nearly vibrating with excitement. Dean reluctantly slid in P.R. mode (heaving a dramatic internal sigh at the interruption), wondering if he'd get the chance to figure out what Cas was going to say -- he didn't care? He didn't yell in public? Didn't -- what?

"I sure am!" She flushed scarlet he answered with a bright smile.

"Oh god. I'm so stupid. Of course you know that. It's just... I'm such a big fan. I've seen all your movies."

He chuckled. "I'm sorry about that. There are some real stinkers in that list."

"Oh no. They're always worth it to see you."

"Well, thank you." She was already opening her mouth to say something else, but he really wanted 1) to get back to Cas and 2) to get her away before she recognized Cas. "Hey, you got a phone with you? Want a selfie?"

Cas winced noticeably at her squeal of delight. The photo was quick and done and Dean squeezed her shoulder in farewell. "It was great meeting you."

She looked somewhat disappointed, but took the dismissal gracefully.

"That happen a lot?" Cas asked once the girl was back at her own table, fingers flying over her phone's screen.

Dean shrugged. "Define 'a lot.'" He winced inwardly and tried to tell from Cas's face if that had come off as humble or asshole. Unfortunately, Cas had had years to perfect his stoic expression.

"Is it worth it?"

"Wow, so just skipping right over the small talk, huh?"

Cas raised an eyebrow. "We were failing dismally at "small talk." So... fame -- is it worth it? Everything you thought it would be?"

"It has its good and bad, like anything, I guess. The past few weeks have actually turned out to be pretty awesome. Charlie keeps forwarding me messages from kids thanking me for coming out -- or not hiding from it, I guess really, since coming out wasn't exactly my idea."

A warm smile lit Cas's face. "That's great though. That this whole situation is having a positive impact."

It really was. Dean had expected much more negative fallout -- and of course there was plenty of that -- but for all the studio had worried, the paying public seemed to have very little problem with recent revelations. And the emails and posts from people -- both in the biz and not -- were enough to make Dean wish he had done this years before.

"But generally, I try to keep my life pretty quiet," Dean continued, wincing as Cas's barely restrained look of disbelief.

"Listen, man, what you saw -- that whole thing -- the, the drugs, the parties, the ..."

"Random sex with multiple people?" Cas filled in drily.

"Yeah. That's not part of the package for me anymore."

Cas took a slow breath; his eyes were filled with hurt when he spoke. "I didn't know it was ever supposed to be -- when you talked about going to California, that was never ... it was always about the acting."

Dean wished this were one of his movies so they could skip over the exposition part and just get to Cas either storming out or forgiving him. But no, this was how life had to happen.

"I barely even know where to start. It wasn't like that at first, not until after I signed with Alastair."

"Alastair Halling?" Cas interrupted.

A chill settled over Dean. "How do you know that name, Cas? He didn't .... You didn't ..." Alastair's threats echoed in Dean's head.

Cas spoke slowly, his brow furrowed in thought. "He was the one who made the final arrangements for my trip out there. He contacted me and said you need to see a friendly face from home."

Cas's words didn't make any sense at first. Alastair hadn't given a shit if anyone was happy or comfortable or anything that wasn't of direct use to him.

"Son of a bitch! He set us up."

He felt sick as the entirety of Alastair's plan settled over him, just another in the string of twisted mind games he had played back then.

Cas just looked confused when Dean made himself look at him. "I don't understand. What do you mean 'set us up'?"

Dean nodded to show Cas he'd heard him, trying to sort out his thoughts. He hadn't thought they'd be getting into this territory today. Alastair was a rough subject anytime, but to share it with Cas -- especially now that he knew Alastair's machinations had affected Cas even more directly that he had thought ...

Dean hadn't even realized he was shaking until Cas's hand covered his on the table. He leaned forward with an earnest look. "Dean, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."

"No, Cas. No. You deserve to know this."

Cas studied him for a minute then sat back with a nod. Dean's hand felt cold and he wrapped it around the now lukewarm cup.

"So, up front -- what I'm going to tell you is not an excuse. No matter what was going on around me, I'm responsible for my own choices -- and I made a whole buncha bad ones those first years. This is just .... explanation, I guess."

"I understand," Cas replied with a soft, encouraging smile.

"When I first went out there -- California -- I was just a kid from Nowheresville, USA, a fact that was driven home pretty quickly. I thought I was ready, but -- this business is really rough. And I wasn't doing as well as I think I kind of let everyone back home believe." He rubbed a hand over his face. "It's silly, but I felt like I'd be letting everyone down if I didn't make it big.

"On top of that, it was so much more expensive than I had anticipated. I blew through my savings almost right away, even living in some little fleabag shithole and working two restaurant jobs. After a couple of months, I was just about ready to head home."

It had been crushingly disappointing to even consider that, but Dean wasn't about to ask his parents for more money and he wasn't going to get involved with any of the fast-money options that abounded in the area (and that all seemed to end with someone naked or bloody).

"I --" Cas started to speak, then quieted.

"What, Cas?"

"I wish I'd known, Dean. I feel like I could've been more supportive."

"Yeah, sometimes I wonder I wonder what would've happened if I'd told you, anyone ... I guess I was just too embarrassed. But you did help, man. I felt so much better every time we talked -- you believed in me so much, and to hear that after another shitty day of not being good enough ...

"Anyway, one of the guys I workshopped with told me about Alastair. He said the guy was like a miracle worker, almost guaranteed to get you a job -- if he liked you. He had a reputation for being really picky. I almost didn't even try; I mean, what was I going to have that he didn't already see dozens of times a week?"

Alastair had been his last attempt. He'd sent off a headshot, requesting a meeting. He had been so convinced that it was another dead end that he'd done zero research on the guy, didn't even ask what happened to Alastair's clients after the initial burst of success.

"I heard back from him almost immediately. We met, and he said he'd take me on -- teach me, 'mold' me." Dean still felt nauseous whenever he remembered the dark look in Alastair's eyes, the raspy sound of his voice. "Nobody else was interested in repping me, so I signed with him. Alastair was effective, yeah, and things just started happening. I got a couple of high profile guest spots, a movie role, every talk show wanted to have me on. It was like someone flipped a switch, and I went from struggling nobody to ultra-hot commodity overnight. None of it was really challenging acting, or even that interesting; I was pretty much just the new 'pretty face.'

"Knowing what I know now, I figure Alastair must've had dirt on at least a third of the casting agents -- not to mention the rest of Hollywood. They hired who he told them to. And those days, he wanted them to hire me."

He looked down to see that he'd bent the little plastic coffee stirrer into an accordion, and tossed it on the table.

"So I was running around non-stop day after day. It started wearing on me, and Alastair was there. He started slowly -- a pick-me-up here or there, something to help me sleep the night before an interview, something to pep me up for a shoot. Then there were a couple of strongly worded requests to show my face at this or that party."

He fell silent. Cas waited, his eyes tight, jaw tense. Dean sipped his coffee while he gathered his thoughts.

"He liked power. He had a whole little harem or entourage or whatever of wannabes that followed him around, did whatever he said, but he needed the guys like me -- success stories -- to keep them hopeful."

The coffee soured in his stomach at the memory of some of the things he'd seen. He'd spent years of therapy dealing with his own actions and how Alastair had impacted him, but the memories of those kids debasing themselves so willingly, so eagerly, while he sat and did nothing -- or worse, enjoyed the results -- still made him physically sick.

"A con man needs to be able to present some results," Cas murmured, "to keep his marks interested and pliable."

"Yeah, but even my success wasn't real. Or at least I hadn't earned it on merit. But none of us knew that then. I'm honestly not sure how many of them would have cared, either." He huffed a dispirited laugh.

"I knew something was wrong -- none of it felt like I'd always imagined, y'know? And the drugs and the sex and the parties, they were so easy to lose myself in, to push back that feeling of wrongness.

"I tried to fight it at first -- putting in appearances and heading out early. After the third time I did that, Alastair called and told me I'd been dropped from consideration for a lead in a series. They'd as much as told me I had the role in the room. But if I wasn't playing his game, I wasn't gonna get the prize. He didn't say it in so many words, but I'm sure he turned them down.

"So I just ... I played ball. And I took the pills he handed me and I threw the parties when he told me to ..."

Dean's throat ached. He looked at Cas, sitting with concern and compassion on his face. "I cheated on you, Cas. It was only ever just sex. I never, ever felt about anyone like I feel about you, but -- God that's even worse. To throw away what we had for something so empty, so superficial. And after that day, I never dreamed I'd get the change to apologize, so..."

He licked suddenly dry lips and and took a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry, Cas. You deserved so much better. I would never ask you to forgive me, but please know that I hated that you got hurt. That I was the one who hurt you."

He trailed off, unable to truly express the regret that he felt. Cas's face was nearly blank, his eyes trained on Dean's as he processed his words. Dean bit back the urge to keep explaining, to force Cas to understand. It wasn't enough, Dean knew that; some paltry words could never fix what he had broken, but they were the truth. And if it wasn't enough for Cas, Dean would just find a way to live with it.

Cas drew in a deep breath and leaned forward, taking one of Dean's hands in his own. He shook his head.

"Thank you for the apology. I admit that everything being brought up again after all this time threw me for a loop, but I forgave you a long time ago, Dean."

Dean stared at him, flummoxed. He had betrayed the one person who had meant more to him than anyone outside his family; there had never been anyone since who had been as close to Dean as Cas had been. How was that forgivable?

"We were kids, Dean." Cas smiled gently. "I know we felt so damn grown-up, but I see it every day in my classes. They're 18, 19, even in their twenties, and they think they know everything, that they have it all figured out. But they don't. Nowhere near. And neither did we."

His face hardened as he continued, in contrast to his thumb softly stroking along Dean's wrist. "Add to that what you endured with that Alastair person .... "

"I could've walked away, Cas. I --"

"And we're back to 'you were just a kid.' Yes, you made some bad decisions, things got out of hand," he swallowed, "and people got hurt. But you got out, Dean." Cas smiled widely at him. "Look at you -- even with all that, look at the successes you've had. How did that happen anyway?"

Dean sighed. "It was Sam, actually. He was the real catalyst," he said slowly. It was weird, but even after what he'd done to Cas, what Cas had seen in person, he felt reticent to share the rest of the story with him.

Cas just waited patiently.

"After what happened, what I did ... well, after that night, I kind of threw myself into that whole scene. I just wanted to forget, to not think about it, to prove to myself what an awesome time I was having, that I didn't need you."

It had been a hollow attempt at best, but at least with other people around, he looked like he was having fun.

"It was, I don't know, maybe a year, year and a half later, that Sammy came out for a visit. Nobody had come out before that, except you. I was actually kind of surprised you hadn't told anyone about everything."

"I ... it didn't feel right. Your folks didn't even know I was going then. So, I just told everyone we'd broken up and left it at that. Then I chose a school out of town and ran."

A stab of regret at what could've been left Dean aching to soothe Cas, but he had forfeited that right a long time ago.

"Anyway, Sam came out and well, to put it bluntly, it was a disaster. It all came to a head when I took him to set with me. I was actually stone-cold sober -- he'd been so disapproving of the partying the first couple of days -- I couldn't even get through the scene. Two-eighths of a page and I was ..."

He scoffed, remembering how he'd stumbled over the simple lines, kept missing his mark. Everything had felt so wrong.

"We took five and I found a corner, popped some pills to get my mind straight, and looked up to see Sammy just staring at me. That look in his eyes -- almost the same as yours, and I just..." He blew out a harsh breath. No matter how far he'd come since then, it still crushed him to think how he'd let his little brother down.

"I got through the scene, took Sam out to some shitty diner, and the whole thing just spilled out. I promised him I would stop. I could see in his eyes that he didn't believe me, but that was the beginning."

"The beginning?"

"With Alastair -- getting out from under his thumb, I had to move carefully. It wasn't even what he could do to me or my career; he'd threatened to hurt you, or Sammy. By that point, he wasn't even pretending to be doing anything for me. I started looking for another agent, real quietly; started trying to see if I could get enough dirt on him to, I dunno, blackmail him, or have him arrested.

"I met this guy, another agent, named Crowley. Almost as devious as Alastair, but more upfront about it. He was none too happy about Alastair's schemes and already had enough on him to put him away for a long time. He just needed someone to stand up."

"You?" Cas looked equal parts concerned and impressed.

"Yeah," Dean acknowledged. "I figured it was the least I could do. Screw my career, whatever. I'd go back to Lawrence and work as a mechanic if I had to, but this guy needed taking down and no one else was gonna do it."

"That's amazing, Dean. But I never heard about any of this." He flushed as he continued. "And I kind of followed your career kinda closely."

"Yeah, well, you didn't hear about it 'cause the guy had dirt on everyone and no one wanted him talking in open court. He was arrested, indicted, released on bail... and murdered."

Cas opened his mouth, closed it, almost literally biting back the question.

"It wasn't me, Cas. I don't know who it was; the list of people who wanted him dead is a mile long, at least. But that was that.

"With Crowley's help, I got in a very private rehab, got my career back in a direction that I wanted to go. Haven't touched any non-medically prescribed drugs since.

"I thought about reaching out to you to apologize, but I thought it would just be more painful for you. Or maybe I was just too scared."

Cas squeezed his hand.

"So, that's the whole sordid story."

"Thank you for telling me."

Dean shook his head to clear away the baggage and looked around, trying to escape the raw emotion in Cas's eyes. His fan was still sitting at her table, still tapping vigorously at her phone. A friend had joined her -- a friend whose phone was angled suspiciously in their direction.

He kept his gaze moving, finished looking around the small shop and then back to Cas.

"So, not a big deal, but I think that girl is filming us. Don't look!" he added a Cas inevitably started to turn his head.

"Okay, and ... ?" He followed Dean's lead and started tidying up.

"Well, best case, she and her friend just want some candid footage of me for their personal use. Less great would be if they're planning to share it out publicly."

"Is there a worst case here?"

"If they recognized you and are attaching your name to a livestream video."

"Why would they --?"

Dean almost laughed at the confusion on Cas's face. He stood up as he said, "You're news now, Cas. Just another way for me to screw your life up, I guess. We'd better get going any which way."

Cas stood as well and halted Dean with a hand to his shoulder. Dean turned, stepping to the side to make sure he was between the camera and Cas.

"Dean, the past few weeks have been interesting, and sometimes inconvenient, but it hasn't 'screwed up' anything for me."

"If it gets out that we've seen each other again, it's a whole new ballgame, Cas. Let's go."

He let Cas lead the way to the door, trying to keep him as hidden as possible, and wishing he was a big enough man not to be mentally drooling over Cas's ass.

The bell rang as Cas opened the door and stepped through. Dean was close enough on his heels that he nearly slammed his nose into Cas's skull when he stopped abruptly. Dean looked around as Cas murmured, "I guess it was a live feed after all."

"Well, well, if it isn't Dr. Castiel Novak. And who's he with? Oh, it's the famous Dean Winchester."

From the small crowd of fans and photographers stepped the last person Dean wanted to see at that moment.

"Bela."

(now concluded in Part 6)

Author’s Note: So there was a version where this was the last part -- they met, talked, came to some kind of agreement, and end happily ever after. Then the fan had a friend who had a phone, and Bela just couldn’t stay away, and now I’m not entirely sure where it goes next, so.... fingers crossed that inspiration strikes! Also, I need to work on the next part of my AO3 WIP -- that’s been sitting for months :(

#spn #fanfic #destiel #castiel #dean winchester #discussions of infidelity #alastair #sam winchester #alastair's mind games #bela talbot #ani's fanfic #s:fdff

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andrewuttaro · 5 years

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New Look Sabres: GM 11 - NYR - Egg Laid

Madison Square Garden has been a bad place for the Sabres for a few years now but there may be only two meaningful narratives when it comes to Sabres-Rangers. One is that the Rangers have managed one of the quicker rebuilds in the National Hockey League of the salary cap Era. The other is who’s the best NHL team in New York State? Which one of those am I going to waste words on? Which one do you think is most fun? Yeah, we’re the best team in New York State right now! Fight me, I mean it! Next week we play the Islanders and I’ll revive this silly narrative. Josh Allen and the Bills first two games inspired me, what can I say? Back to the best club in this state: the Buffalo Sabres got to play the Rangers at each major moment of last season like a thermometer up your ass. We got em shortly before the ten-game winning streak and for a deflating loss in the New Year. The three games against this New York last year were frustrating. That trend continued tonight. I think they handed us our first real stinker of this season. The losses in Columbus and Anaheim didn’t have this sting or score line so I think this is the big egg laid we were fearing. I’m going to take the Ralph Krueger approach and make shortcomings an opportunity for improvement! As you can imagine in a game Vladimir Sobotka and Marco Scandella were the only goal scorers there were a lot of players not playing to potential or pay grade. I want to throw a fit about this one but that will probably be reduced to a few naughty words here or there. I don’t have enough negative vibes from this 2019-2020 Sabres team to muster a rant. Sorry, rant in the comments. While you’re doing it: like, comment and share this blog. Maybe that will help this be one of very few eggs laid by this New Look Sabres team this season. We can only hope, eh?

The first period was twenty minutes of digging a hole. Rasmus Dahlin and Colin Miller were on a pairing tonight and that is not untried. Tonight however it was completely bow-legged. Both defenseman looked lost and sent passes to places the other was not as if they weren’t even talking. It culminated in Rasmus Dahlin’s worst play as a Sabre. He is transitioning the puck through the neutral zone and back passes it. I want to defend him and say he thought Miller was there, but nobody was there, not even close! Artemi Panarin was there to pick up the puck and streamed right in on Carter Hutton and wrapped around him to get the Rangers the early lead. Now let me tell you: I could write an essay about how this fanbase cannot handle good players. We misjudge them and unduly punish them. We chase them out of town and we elevate average joes to be heroes. Dahlin is going at a point-a-game pace right now, he’s not a blackhole but he has not been fire either. He’s made a lot of poor choice with the puck and been directly responsible for three goals against now through 11 games. This one is the most egregious. That doesn’t mean he needs to go to Rochester for a conditioning stint you unbearable dumbass! Even players with half Dahlin’s talent need to be allowed some leash in their first couple seasons. He’ll be okay. We’re allowed to criticize him, but we also need to be able to let him figure it out. He will figure it out. Hopefully this isn’t a narrative for much more of the season… oh, Brett Howden scored and Dahlin didn’t check the guy who got the puck to him? Uh oh, tonight’s going to be a bloodbath for anyone who uses computers isn’t it. Shit. The Sabres got a powerplay chance to inspire some hope and it got one shot. ONE SHOT! Bad turned to worse in the dying minute of the first period when Ryan Strome scored a redirect to put the Rangers up 3-0. That’s quite a hole by anyone’s measure.

This year’s Sabres are motivated machines. Even staring down 3-0 you’d be forgiven for thinking a comeback was possible. This game was a real bastard because it gave you just the evidence you would need to believe a comeback was possible. Marco Scandella scores a second chance through a forest of blue and red defenders and the score is 3-1. I’m no hater, the Sabres are undefeated in games Scand-ezzy scores in. If he’s knocking pack bangers anything is possible, right? No, you see this was the first game frustration really truly got to the Sabres. They were boxed out of the Ducks game because those assholes cheat, they lost this game because they lost hope. One thing I loved to do for Sabres-Rangers games was make fun of Jimmy Vesey. Now Greasy Vesey is a Sabre and I was one of the foolish few who really felt a goal breakthrough was in order for him tonight. Not only was I wrong, Vesey got a little bump and didn’t return in the third! That’s the kinda game this was. I’ll be honest, I really lost hope when Tony DeAngelo scored. He got a great pass and caught Hutton out of position to put the home team up 4-1. Hutton was making good saves this game, the final result really isn’t on him I don’t think but he probably wants that one back… probably the Panarin goal too but yeah, you need a defense in front of you and that just didn’t show up tonight. It’s worth mentioning that the Rangers are not a good team. Yes, they’re better than their record coming into this game but they’re very young and they’re not exactly clicking yet. The middle period got chippy and what had largely been a neutral ice battle turned into a Rangers rout. But wait, not unless Vladimir Sobotka has something to say about it! Okay so Dahlin and Skinner had a lot to do in that play but our favorite pinata got the final touch so that’s goal for him. Do note Henrik Lundqvist was in net so that goal will look awfully weird when we look back on it. It maybe THE highlight of Sobotka’s season.

I am happy to report the Sabres excuse machine is a little rusty. It hasn’t been worked all that hard this season so far. I was seeing a lot of tweets about the bad ice in MSG. That feels like the poorest of poor excuses. I’m not saying it isn’t based in fact, but it didn’t have a meaningful impact on the game. I heard the refereeing excuse too. Sorry fam, the zebras didn’t decide this game, the powerplay falling silent might have. The third period didn’t have anything worth watching from a Sabres perspective. I don’t really feel the need to be the Sabres optimist after this one. What am I going to say: they outshot the Rangers 33-24! Like what would that be for? This was just a stinker. It was an egg laid. Ryan Strome added another and Chris Kreider added one at the end just for salt’s sake. It will be interesting to see how Ralph Krueger and the coaching staff respond to this. Late in this game you saw him play around with the lines to no avail. After the game Krueger said, “It was a very strange game… we lacked puck management and damaged ourselves”. It will be interesting to see how the players respond to this! How about some words from the room! Marcus Johansson: That was bad. Rasmus Dahlin: I got the puck to far from my body… that’s a learning for me [sic]. Carter Hutton: We gave up a lot of east-west plays… we couldn’t get a whole lot going when we did have the chances. To Hutton’s credit he acknowledged poke checking Panarin wasn’t the best move on that first goal against. They’ve only lost twice before this and in both instances they came back with a vengeance in the following game. They fly to Detroit now for a game tomorrow night that poses a mighty fine chance for a rebound effort. Make that effort. If these guys come out flat against the Detroit Red Wings, a team so certifiably bad this year they’ve sent NHLers down to their farm club, then there will be hell to pay.

If you have an idea for greatest game against let me know. That’s my reoccurring segment with every divisional matchup this 50th Anniversary season. What was the most significant game in Sabres history against the game they’re taking on? Tomorrow night it’s Detroit. If you want to get you mind off this egg take a stroll down Sabres Memory Lane and let me know what you think is the best game against the Red Wings in Buffalo Sabres history. The New York Rangers will take this win as a big boost after a brief losing streak. You know why? The Sabres are good. They prepared for this game thinking they were taking on a tough opponent. They ended up taking on a relatively easy opponent. Small solace, the Sabres are a team opponents prepare for now. Let’s hope it stays that way.

Thanks for Reading.

P.S. Maybe this isn’t the best time to say this, but I still love Henrik Lundqvist. He needs to choose if winning a Cup is something he wants

#buffalo sabres #hockey #blog #nhl

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libralita · 7 years

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Title: When Dimple Met Rishi

Author: Sandhya Menon

Summary: Dimple Shah has it all figured out. With graduation behind her, she’s more than ready for a break from her family, from Mamma’s inexplicable obsession with her finding the “Ideal Indian Husband.” Ugh. Dimple knows they must respect her principles on some level, though. If they truly believed she needed a husband right now, they wouldn’t have paid for her to attend a summer program for aspiring web developers…right?

Rishi Patel is a hopeless romantic. So when his parents tell him that his future wife will be attending the same summer program as him—wherein he’ll have to woo her—he’s totally on board. Because as silly as it sounds to most people in his life, Rishi wants to be arranged, believes in the power of tradition, stability, and being a part of something much bigger than himself.

The Shahs and Patels didn’t mean to start turning the wheels on this “suggested arrangement” so early in their children’s lives, but when they noticed them both gravitate toward the same summer program, they figured, Why not?

Dimple and Rishi may think they have each other figured out. But when opposites clash, love works hard to prove itself in the most unexpected ways.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

Review:

It’s probably not a good sign when the only reason you want to finish a book is because you want to be able to write a full, in depth post about the abuse in this book. But my hats off to the narrators for the audiobook, they did a really nice job. I wanted to like this book. I saw it on Amazon a while back and thought it was going to be a cute, perfect for the summer type of read. But oh boy this was just an awful book.

I’ll get into the things that I did like. One was the scene where Celia and Ashish are telling the main characters that they hooked up. It was really funny and unexpected but made total sense. I liked how it cut back and forth between Dimple and Rishi’s perspective. Honestly the way the story was told from the duo-perspective was fine. They had distinct voices (Rishi was sweet and endearing and Dimple made me want to kill kittens) and it flowed nice.

Also, normally I would be more angry that Dimple and Rishi get together but then break up for really stupid reasons but honestly there’s much stinker shit to be mad at.

I’m happy that Menon wants to share her culture and give a new perspective. I’d love to learn about Indian culture. However, what I found annoying is that Menon writes as if everyone reading this book knows the basics of Indian culture. If you aren’t or have never lived around Indians then you’re probably going to have an annoying time reading this like I did. I don’t expect her to spend pages upon pages explain ever little detail but maybe spend a little time describe what the traditional clothes looked like or what exactly the food was. At the very least she should have translated the dialogue. Any time the main characters were talking to their parents I had no idea what they were saying. It didn’t leave me interested in the culture, it left me confused and I just kept reading on instead of taking the time to look into it more. It’s like if I were in Japan and writing a book where a Mexican character had a sombrero or was celebrating dia de los muetros, I’d probably have to explain what those things are because Mexican culture isn’t very well known in Japan.

Second, there are a lot of inconsistencies in this book. Dimple is introverted, nerdy, isn’t traditionally attractive (until she puts on a dress because yes that trope is still alive), is made fun of and comes from a culture that would make her an outcast. Yet, she likes to go to…parties. She wants to go to a college party where she will only know one person there. How is that at all consistent with her character?

Dimple’s parents are so inconsistent that I don’t really know what problems Dimple has. So the book starts off with us thinking that her parents are very traditional and they want her to get married and have babies. Patriarchal values and other such nonsense. But as we get to know her parents we see that her father doesn’t really care and wants Dimple to win the Insomnia Con. Okay, maybe it’s just her mother—

“Whatever you do, Dimple, I am your mother. I will always support you. I am always proud of you. Okay?”—Page 365

Nope. So…what’s her problem? The only thing I can think of is that because her parents lied to her about why they wanted her to go to Insomnia Con and…her mother doesn’t want her to dress like a complete slob. The first one, is sucky but really get over it. We don’t get to see if Dimple’s parents are learning to accept their daughter for who she is or if this a miscommunication or what. At the beginning of the book Dimple says they don’t support her and at the end of the book they say they do. So…what happened?

Also, she’s complaining about her mother wanting to find an IIH and that’s the only reason she’s going to Stanford but that doesn’t make much sense. Why would your parents, who aren’t that rich, send you to Stanford to meet a husband? Why not, oh, I don’t know, set you up with someone they know? Like that nice Patel boy! Why do they need to send her to Stanford? If I were writing this book, I’d make it where Dimple gets into Stanford but her mother doesn’t want her to go. So she asks to go to Insomnia Con to prove that she has what it takes to be a coder and they agree mostly because they know that nice Patel boy is going. Problem solved.

Finally, the main problem with this book. Dimple Shah. She is one of the worst characters I’ve ever read. First of all she’s so ungrateful. Her parents are sending her to freaking Stanford but because they “don’t have the right intentions” so, her life is awful. Rishi gets her a meeting with her Jenny Lindt and she then breaks up with him because they’re “too perfect”.

Second, she is so hypocritical. She complains about misogyny and complains that Celia basically has internalized misogyny when she’s been nothing but awful to her mother because of her mother’s values.

“Rishi rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. ‘I don’t know; she’s your mom, you know. I feel like if you were really hurting or really needed her, she’d be there for you without question. And maybe there’s a part of her she hasn’t shared with you yet that’s totally not what you expect.’ Dimple thought that was likely utter BS,”—Page 283

Rishi brings up the fact that maybe her mother has good intentions or another side to her. Dimple just brushes this off as BS and never goes back to think “hey maybe Rishi was right”. Another time when she’s being hypocritical is when the talent show comes up, Dimple picks a dance where she doesn’t have to do much and passes the burden off to Rishi without consulting him. She eventually pressures him into do it and he gives in. Then within the same scene Evan is pressuring Celia to do a dance in a swimsuit and Dimple says:

“‘No.’ Dimple reached out and put a hand on Celia’s arm. ‘Not at all. It’s totally up to you how comfortable you are with this, you know? It’s totally up to you how comfortable you are with this, you know? It’s not up to Evan or Hari or Isabelle. So what if she wants to do it? She’s not you, and you’re not her.’”—Page 237

Like what kind of horseshit is that? You literally just pushed Rishi into doing something that he may not be uncomfortable with but it’s not okay for Evan to do that with Celia? She never has any self-awareness at all. It never crosses her mind that Rishi also might have stage fright. Then when he turns out he’s not a great dancer she gets pissed like. It was your idea Dimple, not Rishi’s.

Now, time for the part of this book that I hated the most. Dimple is so physically abusive to Rishi and it just made my heart ache. She was just an awful person and I couldn’t stand it. Okay, so there’s a time when Dimple first meets Rishi and he says “hello future wife” it freaks her out and she throws her ice coffee at him. It totally get that, if some stranger came up and said that to me, I’d probably do the same. Then in the next scene Rishi goes to explain himself to her and she cuts him with a map because she thinks he’s continuing to be creepy and not taking a hint. It’s in self defense. I have no problem with that but there are several points where Dimple hits Rishi for playfully teasing her and that’s where I have real issues with. Especially how Menon handles it.

A little context to this first quote, Rishi and Dimple are on a scavenger hunt and they’re at an antique shop so Dimple is being silly trying on hats and things.

“She pretended to strut around, and, on impulse, he raised the Polaroid and took a picture. ‘Hey!’ she said when the flash popped. ‘What was that for?’ she reached out and punched him in the ribs seemingly as an afterthought. ‘Ow!” Rishi said, rubbing his side. ‘What the heck?’ ‘Sorry,’ Dimple mumbled, and it looked only half true.”—Page 71

This next scene is where Dimple and Rishi are working on the concept art for their app. Rishi draws zombies as the bad guys but Dimple says those are overdone and suggests aliens.

“‘Aliens?’ Rishi rolled his eyes. ‘You totally don’t have my artistic vision.’ Dimple punched him in the ribs, lighter than she wanted to, but he still winced. ‘Ow. You know, most girls just slap guys playfully on the arm or something. They don’t actually hurt them.’ ‘Well, maybe you need to expand your idea of how girls behave,’ Dimple replied, grinning. Rishi laughed. ‘Fair enough. And yes, I can totally do aliens since they seem so important to you.’”—Page 130

So both times Rishi is being playful, taking her picture and jokingly teasing her. Then Dimple chose to respond by punching him. She’s actually hurting, even when she’s “going lighter” she’s still hurting him. Also, this gives Dimple (and the females in the audience) the idea that if she punches Rishi that she’ll get her way. He let her get away with punching him and changed his concept to aliens. Then, the line, “expand your idea of how girls behave”. That sounds to me like the author thinks that girls hitting boys is okay and empowering. No. Thousands times no. That shouldn’t be your message. Your message should be it’s not okay to punch anyone. That is not an okay message to teach young women and no one in the story class Dimple out on this.

The character is constantly complaining about misogyny, at one point Rishi makes a snarky quip to a bunch of dude-bros about “casual misogyny”. So if just talking about a wet-shirt contest is casual misogyny, I’m guessing that Dimple is a straight up misandrist. There are times when Dimple says “Fighting is ever the answer” but you’re constantly hitting him to the point where he’s now use to it.

“‘That…you’re a little too obsessed with Insomnia Con?’ Dimple punched him in the ribs, and it was a testament to him having acclimated to her that he didn’t even flinch.”—Page 233

Seriously, I didn’t want Rishi to get with Dimple. I wanted him to find a girlfriend that wouldn’t constantly abuse him. When he called her an unkind person, I was so happy because she is. She’s a horrible person and this author is telling her audience very questionable things. This book would be a million times better if Dimple wasn’t in it. She’s abusive, preachy and giant hypocrite.

I felt like I was being trolled the entire way through this book because there’s no possible way an author could be this not self-aware. This is probably worst than Future of Us because I had to drag my way through this book. It put me in a reading slump. It was awful.

#Sandhya Menon #when dimple met rishi #reviewsdaytuesday #abuse #2017 reviews

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deadcactuswalking · 6 years

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I’M UPSET - THE TOP TEN WORST HIT SONGS OF 2018

The popular music in America of 2018 was somehow both chaotic and dreary and monotonous as hell at the same time. Constant album bombs and additional rule changes to the charts made the Hot 100 increasingly irrelevant – as if it wasn’t already, and to be honest, I didn’t hate as much of it as I thought I would – in fact, I have since learned to appreciate what little upbeat pop gems we had this year instead of observing it as just a dark, moody year full of mindless egotistical trap-rap... which it definitely was, for the record, I mean, there’s a reason I talk about the UK Top 40 more because the US’ charts seemed a tad painful to keep up with, just going off of exhausted recounts I’ve seen on YouTube and Twitter this whole year. Am I going to preface this with anything more interesting? No, because frankly I don’t think 2018 really deserves it. Let’s just talk about some ground rules.

I am using the predicted year-end top 125 posted in the Pulse Music forum by MikesMusicReviews to determine what a “hit song of 2018” is. Songs that made it into the top 10 during the charting year (December 2017 to November 2018) count as well.

This is the worst list, and it will be posted first. Hopefully I can get the best list out soon, and the list that will count down my picks for the top 5 best and top 5 worst United Kingdom-exclusive hit songs will be out somewhere in the first quarter of the year, I imagine, but don’t expect it too soon.

If this comes out on a Sunday, REVIEWING THE CHARTS will be postponed, obviously.

Finally, this is simply my opinion and I don’t consider myself highly as a music critic. This is just a silly little hobby of mine. Nevertheless, we’re counting down...

THE TOP 10 WORST HIT SONGS OF 2018

DISHONOURABLE MENTIONS

Now, let’s get rid of the Dishonourable Mentions first, before getting into the real stinkers, from most bearable to least bearable:

“Pray for Me” – Kendrick Lamar featuring the Weeknd – Actual Billboard Year-End Placement: #40 – Peak: #7

Yeah, I understand why a lot of people like this, and it’s really inoffensive for the most part, but that high-pitched vocalising really gets on my nerves.

“Love Lies” – Khalid and Normani – Year-End: #19 – Peak: #9

This is the worst Khalid song I’ve heard, mostly because the melody is so monotone. I like Normani on here, but ripping off the melody from a Post Malone song that was never good in the first place isn’t exactly the first thing I’d consider for my Love, Simon soundtrack hit.

“Bad at Love” – Halsey – Year-End: #27 – Peak: #5

I’m more forgiving of Halsey than I feel I should be because this one is... confusing, I guess, would be the best word for it? Maybe it’s just her vocals – I’ve never been a fan of how they sound in the first place, and they’re definitely strained on here.

“Beautiful” (remix) – Bazzi featuring Camila Cabello – Year-End: N/A – Peak: #30

Eh. Snoop Dogg and Pharrell did it better about a decade and a half ago.

“King’s Dead” – Kendrick Lamar and Jay Rock featuring Future and James Blake – Year-End: #79 – Peak: #21

This song exists to remind us that our dream collaborations we hope of are probably always going to not live up to our expectations. I love all of these guys separately, but they’re clearly negative influences on each other when they’re in a posse cut like this. If you want a better trap song featuring James Blake, check out Travis Scott’s “STOP TRYING TO BE GOD” with Kid Cudi.

Here are a few songs I have absolutely nothing to say about:

“I’m a Mess” – Bebe Rexha – Year-End: N/A – Peak: #35

“LOVE.” – Kendrick Lamar featuring Zacari – Year-End: #50 – Peak: #11

“Bartier Cardi” – Cardi B featuring 21 Savage – Year-End: #61 – Peak: #14

Here are a few songs I’d rather just avoid commenting on altogether:

“This is America” – Childish Gambino – Year-End: #51 – Peak: #1

“FEFE” – 6ix9ine and Nicki Minaj – Year-End: #31 – Peak: #3

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming:

“No Brainer” – DJ Khaled featuring Justin Bieber, Quavo and Chance the Rapper – Year-End: #73 – Peak: #5

Justin Bieber saves this track, probably because he’s the only feature without some incredibly dumb lyrics.

I blow the brains out of your mind (ooh) / And I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout physically (no) / I’m talkin’ ‘bout mentally – Quavo

Oh, and Chance’s verse is probably his worst, ever, but I am concerned specifically about why this woman is trying to choose between Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the Rapper and DJ Khaled’s two-year-old son.

“Boo’d Up” and “Trip” – Ella Mai – Year-End: #15 and #92 – Peak: #5 and #11

These are the exact same song and I have the exact same problems – Ella Mai is uninteresting, the chorus is mind-numbing and those 808s are out of place.

“Walk It Talk It” – Migos featuring Drake – Year-End: #43 – Peak: #10

I’m pretty sure this is like five minutes, and that’s not even the longest song I’ll be talking about in this list. Oh, yeah, and say hello to Drake because we’ll be seeing more of him soon.

“Never be the Same” – Camila Cabello – Year-End: #18 – Peak: #6

Really, this is only here because of that one part, but you know what part it is and it is atrocious.

“I Love It” – Kanye West and Lil Pump featuring Adele Givens – Year-End: N/A – Peak: #6

If this ends up on YANDHI then I think that’ll be the last straw with me in terms of Kanye. Yeah, all the Make America Great Again stuff is fine but if this ends up on YANDHI I am not sure if I can handle the betrayal.

“Roll in Peace” – Kodak Black featuring XXXTENTACION – Year-End: N/A – Peak: #31

You know, I actually really like this beat but Kodak sounds awful as always and X’s verse makes me want to punch a wall.

“All Girls are the Same” – Juice WRLD – Year-End: N/A – Peak: #41

Does this really count as a hit? I mean, I think it does, personally, and the predictions put this high enough, but the song doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page... not saying it deserves it at all.

“The Ringer” – Eminem – Year-End: N/A – Peak: #8

The phrase “chicken wang” is said twice on this song, and I’m afraid that’s about five times too many.

“Freaky Friday” – Lil Dicky and Chris Brown – Year-End: #55 – Peak: #8

I still absolutely despise this song and on my first draft of the list, this was actually in the top four, but I really do not care enough about Lil Dicky to rip into this. Also, Chris Brown was sentenced to jail for six months because he illegally owned a monkey, so I guess I get my justice in the end... although he probably won’t serve a day of that sentence.

“I’m Upset” – Drake – Year-End: #86 – Peak: #7

Man, Drake was so close to having four consecutive songs on this list. Yep, you just read that correctly, in fact:

#10

#10 – “In My Feelings” – Drake

Produced by TrapMoneyBenny & Blaqnmild – from the album Scorpion – Year-End: #9 – Peak: #1 for ten weeks

#9 – “Nonstop” – Drake

Produced by Tay Keith – also from the album Scorpion – Year-End: #52 – Peak: #2

#8 – “Yes Indeed” – Lil Baby featuring Drake

Produced by Wheezy – from the album Harder than Ever – Year-End: #25 – Peak: #6

Listen, I don’t hate Drake at all. In fact, I think he’s very talented as a rapper, and he clearly has a lot of interesting musical visions, although he definitely needs someone like the Weeknd to fully realise them, because nobody was asking for a 90-minute, 25-track long double album from the dude, that landed all of his tracks on the Hot 100, meaning combining his album tracks as well as “Walk It Talk It” and “Yes Indeed” gave him over a quarter of the Hot 100 all to himself, which is just absolutely insane. I will be talking more about the album, and to an extent, “In My Feelings”, on my best list, but for now let’s just explain what’s wrong with these three songs, from least to most interesting, starting with what is technically a Lil Baby track, “Yes Indeed”. Now, who’s Lil Baby? Well, he tells you straight off the bat in his verse:

Wah-wah-wah, b****, I’m Lil Baby

Yeah. That’s how he ends it too, like that’s supposed to be the impressive final punchline of the verse before it goes into the hook, but it doesn’t work at all because it’s one of the weakest and most pathetic excuses for a punchline or witty line I’ve ever heard in rap. Wait, oh, I’ve misheard it?

Wah-wah-wah, b****, I’m the baby

Let’s just move on to Drake because I’m sick of this Young Thug clone (who, by the way, deserves way more success than he gets and especially way more than the two clowns that bit his style hard, whilst lacking all of the charisma and interesting characteristics and quirks Thugger had). I saw a comment on r/HipHopHeads that said the line that convinced them Lil Baby was the “real deal” was this line, from the song we’ve got on our list:

Cartier glasses, I won’t even peek at you / Yellow Ferrari like Pikachu

Does that wordplay sound any familiar to you? If it does, well...

My diamonds, they say, “Pikachu”, they say, “Pikachu” / I’m a boss, I walk through the club and just peek at you – Young Thug, “Picacho”

Yup. If that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about Lil Baby and in turn, the quality of this song, then I don’t know what will. Oh, and if you’re wondering about the beat to the song, I can’t tell you much about it because it’s so swamped out with bass that I can barely hear it. I’m pretty sure there’s a flute in there somewhere? I can’t really say, but what I can say is that Drake phoned this in clearly, because while he’s still better than Lil Baby, his verse transitions so abruptly into Baby. I swear, it’s like they made this in 10 minutes – and knowing rappers like Lil Baby, they probably did. Speaking of songs that are essentially just bass, I mean, that’s Tay Keith’s gimmick – he makes those simplistic bassy instrumentals that fuse trap skitters with classic Memphis rap, and he is actually pretty good at it, until you realise all of his beats sound the same, and never really work unless you’ve got the right rapper on it. Case in point, “Nonstop”. The main point of Tay Keith’s beats are that they are fast-paced, evil and menacing, hence they worked incredibly well with 21 Savage on Metro Boomin’s “Don’t Come Out the House”, especially when he brought in the whisper flow... however you cannot tell me with a straight face that Drake ever comes off in the way he intends, especially with this emotionless gangster image he’s playing up this year. Listen, he starts off the song by claiming he’s somehow original and unique for flipping a switch:

Look, I just flipped a switch (flipped, flipped) / I don’t know nobody else who doin’ this

I mean, apparently it’s about flipping from his calm and kind to his aggressive side, but that doesn’t make much sense considering the song before this one on the album is also rather a straight rapping track.

Bodies start to drop, ayy, hit the floor

Listen, man, the only body hitting the floor while you’re around is Jimmy if he accidentally steps out of wheelchair. Oh, and some of this is a subliminal Kanye diss, but their beef is confusing enough anyway, so just watch a Genius video or something, I’d rather focus on right after the verses, a Mack Daddy Ju sample comes in of just one line from one of his songs repeated and that’s apparently a chorus... yeah, no, this is immensely lazy. The only part where Drake tries here is in the second verse, and that’s not because his flow and delivery picks up and becomes Sheck Wes levels of energetic, no, it’s because he makes this corny pun that you know he’s secretly proud of.

Bills so big, I call ‘em Williams, for real

Although, we could have it worse – he could be trying too hard.

TrapMoneyBenny, this s*** got me in my feelings, yeah / Got to be real with it, yeah

The main problem with “In My Feelings” is how much it asks of the listener to take in at once without ever letting itself loose. I really enjoy glitchy and scattered music, and I think Drake and his producers are attempting to make a bounce record that is as all over the place as possible without any consideration for a cohesive melody or hook to grasp onto. It’s not like “Wonderful Christmastime” where the fact that everything is a hook makes the song endearing, but instead, the fact that everything is its own chorus makes it just irritating to listen to. Even when listening to McCartney’s trainwreck of a festive bop, you know what to focus on: that opening echoing synth line and Paul’s pathetically weak vocals. Drake? Well, he’s not sure, so he throws everything at the wall until he finds something that might stick and just runs with it – he finds three of those, and we’ll be deep-diving into what they are.

First of all, the actual chorus – everyone knows it, it’s the focal point of whatever dance challenge was involved in promoting this song. While the song seems to start minimally with a hypnotic piano line, it actually kind of tricks you and instead catapults some record scratches, aggressive vocal samples, a siren sound, 808s and Drake at you, when you’re not ready to appreciate any of it, but then Drake seems to kind of freestyle this kind of repetitive hook that he thinks is really good, but there’s these “let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” ad-libs that clutter everything, making the hook not as stable as Drake wants it to be. Remember those later. Drake soon ditches the chorus, instead going for a tension-raising verse where Drake just kind of rambles over a constantly-changing beat that just adds elements whenever they feel like it, before he starts a flow that works... until the hook just comes in again, because it’s the only thing that he can really grasp, before he gets interrupted by City Girls and their chopped-up vocals, which, admittedly, are pretty awesome isolated with just the jackhammer 808s, although then they chop up both the Magnolia Shawty sample that we heard before and the chorus at the same time and it just gets too much to keep up with. What do we focus on? Is Magnolia Shawty responding to Drake? Why is Lil Wayne here? Both of the samples kind of have an unhinged chemistry together but then Drake stops any of that from developing before the song gets too experimental, repeating the intro and letting some bongos come in or something, for no reason, until they fade out and leave just a sample from that Atlanta TV show? And that’s even cut off before it ends!

This song would work if it were an upbeat party jam but it’s just way too dark and quiet for that to work, instead it’s just an onslaught of elements that could potentially make a good song, but they’re so hastily put together that the final product is a mess of unfinished ideas, that somehow stayed at the top spot for ten weeks. Hell, this recount of the song’s events probably made no logical sense or cohesiveness because it’s way too much to reasonably keep up with and is always edging for a climax, like it’s one step closer to the edge and it’s about to break, but it just ends up repeating itself. At least this one’s kind of funny in its incompetence, unlike “Nonstop” which is painfully boring and “Yes Indeed” which is a waste of studio time. I seriously hope Lil Baby goes away next year because he adds nothing to already dystopian wastelands of instrumentals. Now we have spent way too much time talking about Drizzy. Let’s talk about someone else.

I’m just being real, my s*** look--

Now, I see a lot of people bring up how the most popular artists of 2018 were “problematic” and awful people, and I mean, yeah, you’re right, but who cares? There have always been terrible and insensitive people in the music industry, because they’re going to be there in every sector of the industry, naturally. If they come to light, it’s mostly because with the Internet you have easier access than ever to someone’s mistakes, and with that becomes ever-growing popularity which, in all honesty, these people who complain about them are only perpetuating. And with that, I present to you Exhibit A:

N****s iffy, uh, blicky got the stiffy, uh

#7 – “GUMMO” – 6ix9ine

Produced by Pi’erre Bourne – from the mixtape DAY69 – Year-End: #56 – Peak: #12

I don’t care what anyone says as a rebuttal because I am telling you a fact – the people who hate 6ix9ine are making him popular, you know it and he knows it. Sure, he may be locked up for a long time now, but that doesn’t really take away the 316 million views the video for this got off of some people legitimately enjoying this and a whole lot more of the memes. This kid ate more Skittles than his mum told him too once and starts throwing gang signs while repeating the N-word like it’s the word “the”, and since you guys thought that was funny, awful or disgusting, you are directly giving more attention and hence obviously more profit to a pedophile. It is clearly controversy and outrage that is taking this song to higher levels than just a Froggy Fresh-like situation (who, by the way, never charted this high, or at all), and I wouldn’t be complaining if the song was any good, but it really isn’t.

I’ve liked some of Tekashi’s stuff before, hell, I’ve even tried to defend my fondness towards tracks like “STOOPID” and “KIKA” on my weekly chart review show, but the reason those tracks work is because of how the production backs up 6ix9ine’s screaming or yelling delivery, with his simplistic flows being intensified due to how the instrumentals build up (also they have features to break the monotony). I may not be a fan of “TATI” or even “WAKA” all that much but even in songs like those you can tell he has a grip on this kind of sound and how he can make his aggressive and rough voice more tolerable against less intense but still powerful and propelled production. Since this is early in his career, however, he doesn’t yet understand how you cannot simply scream profanity and violent lyrical content over a Playboi Carti type-beat and call it a day. It doesn’t fit his style at all and I don’t get why at any point he could get this beat from Trippie Redd DM’ing him and think, “yeah, I can just yell over this and the beat will totally correlate!” The beat starts with a pretty hellish intro where 6ix9ine echoes before some gunshots, the classic “SCUM GANG!” catchphrase, and eventually the beat starts, with this high-pitched child sample saying “I’ll see y’all water, suu-woo!” – seriously, why can none of these rappers do an intro well this year? Oh, and the lyrical content is pretty disgusting, in fact, too disgusting for me to really put here, although, can we stop kicking women out of doors?

Man, that’s really all I use her for, then I kick her out the door

We don’t have any evidence to really believe this as parody or exaggeration, and Tekashi says this in a handful of other songs, so it’s safe to assume this is just violent and misogynistic, right? Sigh... Let’s just thank God this dude can’t release music for a while, unless, of course...

You know you like a n****’s Schmoney dance, you gon’ love a n**** when I swerve out – Bobby Schmurda on 6ix9ine’s “STOOPID”

Oh, no. Please, no.

Scum Gang...

Oh, speaking of misogynists, here’s three dudes without a Wikipedia page and their more popular counterparts making a reggaeton song, and let’s naturally try and get rid of the language barrier here, by using a translation, but if I get any details wrong, I apologise, translations are never perfect. I don’t apologise for hating this lazy trash heap of a song though.

#6 - “Te Boté” (remix) – Nio García, Darell and Casper Mágico featuring Bad Bunny, Nicky Jam and Ozuna

Produced by Young Mvrtino, Kronix Magical and Shorty Complete – Year-End: #81 – Peak: #36

This isn’t the last time you’ll see Latin pop on this list, but it’s definitely the last time you’ll see most of these names in your life because, seriously, who knows or cares about these guys? Ozuna, Nicky Jam and Bad Bunny make sense for the remix, but do you know who Darell is? After I tell you who he is, will you really still know who he is? Anyway, this song is six minutes and fifty-seven seconds of pure hell, although the most irritating part other than the beat is the 10 minutes at the start where every single one of them has to get their adlibs in, including Bad Bunny just spouting utter nonsense out of his mouth whenever possible, right before we get to the devil himself, Ozuna, who always, with no exception (trust me, we’ll get back to him later), sounds like a nasal child with a blocked nose who was told he had to make a reggaeton song in five minutes, so he just came in the booth and whined. We have a few sparse piano notes before the beat (that never really changes throughout all seven minutes, by the way, except for when it briefly drowns itself in reverb and has what sounds like an Audacity phaser effect on it for a few seconds each verse) and Ozuna really kick in. Unlike Trippie Redd’s more dynamic, flip-flopping style, Ozuna sticks to one perfect note and pitch for the whole chorus, honestly putting me on edge whenever he appears.

Hell, everyone gets to perform their own chorus, and you can just tell how much care was put into each performance just from that. Bad Bunny sounds tired but at least he’s putting effort into it. Darell is so bored and quiet that they put people loudly speaking over him in Spanish to help us not fall asleep, Casper the Friendly Ghost is autotuned to the point where he’s beyond human and instead he’s a cyborg whose owner bought the Spanish DLC, Nio Garcio barely exists and Nicky Jam is... actually okay. Yeah, him and Bad Bunny bring out pretty good choruses here, and I kind of appreciate Ozuna’s too, but instead of skipping right to the next song as if the last minute or so of just all six dudes talking and making ad-libs and gun sounds doesn’t exist, shall we look into what the translations of the lyrics have to say?

But I know that I kicked you out

Oh, come on, Ozuna—

I kicked you out of my life, and I kicked you out

So, from what I can gather, Ozuna broke up this woman and is phrasing it like it was a drug addiction and he’s kicking the habit. That’s kind of a cool concept, how is everyone else going to add to this unique story? Will they use different perspectives in the story, like acting as friends of the guy who’s dumping this woman? Ooh, I have an idea – will they all use a different drug to act as their metaphors in each verse? Now, that would be cool, but sadly, of course we’re not getting that. These people probably don’t have enough skill to wrap their arms around a concept anyway, and they wouldn’t care enough to go through with it anyway. Instead of going through all of these dudes individually, let’s just appreciate some lyrical highlights.

Baby, life is a cycle / What doesn’t serve me, I don’t recycle

You are the past and the past never comes back / Go to Hell (whoa), my body doesn’t need you (no)

Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you how bitter and melodramatic these dudes are, seriously, they have so much bile for their respective exes that it’s almost a joke. Like, I can’t take anything they say seriously to the point where I start to think it’s satire, but it feels genuine enough, even if they put “to hell you went” in the hook.

Bad Baby’s chorus is so mean, though, it pulls no punches and just insults the girl non-stop.

I kicked you out, I sacked you and let you go, I let you go / I sent you to Hell, I sent you / And I nailed your friend, I nailed her

Jesus... we don’t even know what any of these women do for all seven minutes and the only rapper who really tries to elaborate for more than a vague one-liner is Darrell, surprisingly, who tells us pretty clearly what happened.

With you, putting a condom on is a must / But I posted up in half-court, baby, like Rondo

I understand why there’s such an issue now, because Darrell has accidentally had a baby with this woman and is angry because...? Yeah, actually, why is he angry at her, specifically? He’s the one who didn’t put on any protection; surely you should be showing some respect. What, is Darrell angry that he’s not seeing his kid enough? You know, that’s fine, though, because it shows some kind of primal frustration at the woman, while as the song goes on, you realise that all these recounts are from the same person’s perspective, and they’re irrational before, but eventually, once we get to Nicky Jam’s verse, he’s just reminiscing on the good times and moving on.

I lie if I say I don’t miss it when I touched your skin / I lie if I say I don’t miss it when you called me at dawn

See? Maybe this song isn’t as awful as I thought – I mean it’s unlistenable, but much like “Freaky Friday” at least effort was put into making it interesting lyrically and focusing on storytelling, you know? I actually really like the gradual increase in maturity.

I take the chance of the remix with Ozuna to send you to Hell

...Never mind then.

Ra-ta-ta-ta!

I really love how Young Thug uses his voice. I think he pushes himself to vocal limits whilst somehow sticking to the meter of the trap beat and it always works because he’s just off the beaten track enough for it to be weird and interesting but he never steps his foot outside of the comfort zone because when he experiments, well, he can make some grave mistakes, such as that hilariously awful song that samples “Rocket Man” by Elton John... but guys, what if we had two Young Thugs who didn’t push themselves vocally and don’t have any intriguing quirks, but somehow they got more popular and use the most basic, badly-mixed trap beats to ever be produced?

Run that back, Turbo

#5 – “Drip Too Hard” – Lil Baby and Gunna

Produced by Turbo – from the album Drip Harder – Year-End: N/A – Peak: #4

I’d say, “Where do I even start with this?” but that doesn’t necessarily mean there’s a lot to talk about, because there really is not anything I can say that I haven’t said before about Lil Baby, and Gunna is essentially the same person. Listen, every song these dudes make, on their own or on their collaborative mixtape, is just them pathetically flowing, often slightly off-beat, in their monotone and nasal delivery – with Lil Baby often preferring a falsetto over Gunna’s smoother, reverb-drowned voice – without having any interesting lyrics or actually good bars or punchlines. Typically, they don’t even have more than one notably awful lyric per song, so you always know what to expect from both the beat, usually either a simplistic piano melody or dreary guitar strumming under way too much bass and the typical skittering trap percussion, and the performers themselves.

Let me put it this way: this song is about 113 BPM but it feels like it goes half as fast, because of how the beat never changes or has any adjustments worth speaking of, Lil Baby drags on his autotuned bars like curtains in the morning (which is probably a better comparison than this guy could come up with) and Gunna is empty space on the track; seriously, the dude’s white noise except for the one line.

I feel like a child, I got boogers in the face

In fact, the lyrics are dumber but actually some of the most unique these dudes have come up with, although it does seem rather controlling throughout, if that makes any sense. Lil Baby takes that rap persona to the extreme and portrays himself as some nigh-unbeatable force that has everyone and everything doing only what he wishes them to.

Whenever I tell you to come, she comin’

Soon as I come back, she gettin’ slayed

Yeah, he uses very imperative, demanding words when it comes to providing for these women sexually, but he also gives her luxury as if it wasn’t anything to him.

You can get the biggest Chanel bag in the store if you want it

This wouldn’t be anything special if they weren’t so forceful about it in such an otherwise calm and, dare I say, ambient song? It just kind of fits into the background until Lil Baby gets oddly aggressive in his offbeat ramblings, especially in the chorus, where he threatens those who copy his style... oh, come on.

Every other night, another dollar gettin’ made

If you make a dollar every two days, you are in poverty. Oh, and I believe Gunna kind of tries to make some statement about racial issues briefly.

I don’t want your chain, young Gu-wunna not a slave

Dude, you’re wearing like four chains in the video, so I’m not sure if your point is valid here.

TSA harass me, so I took a private plane

Are you trying to say that you take a private plane because you’re being racially profiled by the TSA? I mean, they just perform more thorough checks on people with heavy loads of money and jewellery, is that the punchline? I’m not sure because he clearly uses “harass” to make it appear violent. It might be a stretch, but if there is any attempt at racial commentary here, it fails incredibly, as I’d expect from these two talentless hacks. Hopefully, this duo sinks into complete irrelevancy by 2020. It’s not like they care, as he says himself, they don’t read comments.

Do this all the time, this ain’t no surprise / Every other night, another movie getting made

Blech.

This year (and last year to an extent), a lot of popular artists who made music that wasn’t rap or hip hop “flopped” for lack of a better word – essentially, pop icons failed to gain much chart longevity with either songs or albums in the past few years, making way for newer artists to stack up hits on hits, mostly because of how streaming is more important now than ever. I’ve listened to the full album by one of the former pop icons that fell this year, and I can tell you that most of it is fantastic, albeit perhaps unintentionally. Love songs dedicated to Justin Timberlake’s flannel are just kind of my thing, I guess.

#4 – “Filthy” – Justin Timberlake

Produced by Timbaland, Justin Timberlake and Danja – from the album Man of the Woods – Year-End: N/A – Peak: #9

So this starts out as a rock song, and it’s kind of awesome, actually. That guitar riff is undeniable and pretty heavy, with Justin Timberlake’s vocals, although way too back in the mix for my liking are fitting, and we get this incredible build-up with the drums continuing to increase in speed and intensity. It’s insane, and we have no idea what will be at the end of it. It’s like a rollercoaster but you’re entirely blindfolded, so you expect a drop but where? When? Instead of the rollercoaster actually going down, however, you’re just pushed off the carriage very lightly and fall onto a cushion.

Yeah, that’s how the squelchy elastic robot-funk “wub-wub” synth bass wobble feels here. They’re so ugly and almost, wrong, if that makes any sense. Like they’re not supposed to sound like that. It reminds me of my own music that I make where I Paulstretch and add echoes to nonsense samples until it sounds disgusting enough, but this is a professional recording and hence, it’s a lazy excuse for making any interesting synth sounds as the main instrumental hook. Oh, yeah, and there’s not enough to really drown it, we just get a few searing siren synths, heavy female breathing and Justin himself, who is pretty awful, as I expected, vocally, because he just kind of talks rhythmically? I can’t call it rapping but it’s definitely not a real melody. The main thing that annoys me about this song is for the last minute and half, it’s a fantastic song. It finally lets itself go insane, as the searing siren synth starts to glitch out, you can barely hear Justin under the pitched-down echoing backing vocals (some of which sound like Eminem, honestly), and the wobble bass kind of dissipates, instead leading with that chopped-up guitar from earlier, before calming down and slowing down, fading out into a strong bass backing up a tropical landscape for uncredited vocalist Jessica Biel to speak over. It’s actually really cool for a brief period of time... but the song’s five minutes.

If you know what’s good...

He repeats this in the rock sections as if it’s leading up to something but it just ends up being an incomplete sentence as it abruptly goes from him screaming that to him “rapping” this line:

Haters gon’ say it’s fake... so real

This means nothing. Haters are going to say Justin Timberlake is fake, so you respond with “So real”. Isn’t that just a non-sequitur? Hell, it’s not even a sentence. Are you missing a “but it is” or “but I am”? Justin, actually, what’s with all the pointless rap references?

I guess I got my swagger back

Yeah, that’s from JAY-Z.

Your friends, my friends, and they ain’t leaving ‘till six in the morning

And that’s from Snoop Dogg, clearly. Is Justin trying to appeal to the modern teenage crowd who are into hip-hop by mentioning... old rap songs from aging rappers who are having an equally hard time trying to stay relevant? Man, and I thought Timbaland could help you, hell, he’s been working with Ski Mask the Slump God recently. Yeah, sorry, I love a lot of Justin’s other stuff and even Man of the Woods appealed to me in an odd way, but this is just a clunky, dated mess. That last 90 seconds should have been released as the lead single, even though it wouldn’t have been played on the radio – not like this was, anyway, and I’m glad it just came and went.

Look closer, through the trees. Do you see it?

Now, let’s get into the true stinkers, the top three worst hit songs of one of the most dreadful years in pop music history I’ve ever experienced. All three of these songs are borderline unlistenable, so I might as well introduce them all at once, but, no, let’s go in on them one-by-one, starting with the last trap song that’ll end up on this list, and it’s by a guy who I’ve actually loved a lot of material from this year. You’ll see him twice or more on my best list, and I think he is a really talented singer and songwriter, with a knack for really catchy melodies, but... man, this song really fell apart, didn’t it?

#3 – “I Fall Apart” – Post Malone

Produced by Illangelo – from the album Stoney – Year-End: #39 – Peak: #16

I like Post Malone, I really do, but when he’s at his worst, he is unbearable, especially because of how grating his voice can be when he warbles whilst drowned in both autotune and the immense reverb that he decides to use, in fact, I’m pretty sure all of his songs are 70% reverb effects – and lucky me, this song is basically just him moaning for painful stretches of time drowned in reverb, because that’s the chorus. It starts with multi-tracked Post Malones crooning the title before a slight piano comes in that is only there for seemingly no reason before the actual verse and guitar comes in, where Post Malone just kind of yells over a heavy acoustic guitar lick, with “yeah” ad-libs that make me think my headphones are broken with how far they are back into the mix. All the lyrics are just pure melodrama, but the pre-chorus where he’s “taking these shots like Novacane” show my main problem with the song. It tries to be an intense, heartbroken track, but it’s too quirky to work like that.

His diction is pretty bad, so he’s mostly strangely mumbling his shouted lines in a way that makes it able to hear but also painful because of his high-pitched, obviously very immature voice, and then the chorus comes in, with him shouting “oooh, I fall apart” over a way too upbeat drop, with rapid 808s that are deep and cover out any of the trap skitter, making any dark ideas with the drum pattern irrelevant and just completely inaudible, mostly because of the chirpy pitched-up vocal samples being sprayed over Post Malone’s simplistic melody with a reverb-coated delivery that is hard to listen to. Oh, and these light gliding pianos come in for the second verse, and then, we kind of find the main point of the song in that verse:

Feelin’ like I sold my soul / Devil in the form of whore, devil in the form of whore

This song is bipolar, and it’s not as intentional as it initially seems – you see, this primal release right here should be powerful because it is Post Malone at the breaking point, where he gives up trying to reason with himself, disregarding his ex after the break-up as the devil because of how heartbroken he is... it doesn’t work when the song is happy. The instrumental is chirpy and actually just kind of pretty, especially for 2018, with those nice kicks and the piano melody and vocal sample being way too high-pitched and light to really give off any “depressed” or “broken” vibe. It’s just an unfinished instrumental for Post Malone to whine over, and you know what, that could have been beautiful, but since we have no reason to believe this bipolar song structure is on purpose other than the bridge (which, admittedly, is actually pretty cool, but not enough to completely retcon my theory), we’re just here to observe Post Malone being a bit of a jerk towards someone we don’t know anything about. Like “Te Boté”, all we know is that they broke up and we’re supposed to feel sorry for the man. Yet “I Fall Apart” had kegs full of potential, and that outro with the swirling chiptune-like synth really should have been happening throughout the song, as that’s where the intentional juxtaposition is evident. Otherwise, it just sounds really unpleasant, but, hey, at least Post Malone isn’t that much of an awful human being. Sure, he’s said some stuff that turned me off him at first in a couple interviews, but overall he doesn’t seem too bad...

Disclaimer – Some more sensitive topics will be touched on in this segment. If you feel like you will not be okay reading about you-know-who and his abuse charges, skip to #1 – skim-read if you wish, but definitely do not click the page I have linked in my explanation of why I do not like this song.

Okay, now, listen, I know people have been awful in the music industry before and I brought this up while talking about “GUMMO”. There have always been untalented, racist, sexist, problematic and insensitive people in any industry and there have been for decades, and they are now just becoming common knowledge because of how easy it is to spread information nowadays. I know I sound like an old crony saying that, but that’s how I feel looking at charts when I see names like Quando Rondo, Flipp Dinero and Calboy show up on the bottom half, like, who the hell are these people and why are they blowing up now? Well they’re all trap-rappers, of course, and they’re using the innovative musical platform laid down by people like 2 Chainz, Future and Travis Scott, and later SoundCloud rappers like Lil Uzi Vert, to finally get their time in the limelight, but they’re watering down that genre to the point where I believe we have reached “peak trap” and slowly with people like Playboi Carti I think we’re moving into an era of post-trap due to the oversaturation. I remember way back in 2016 when this dude first charted with this nonsensical title and I searched him up and found out he was, uh, well...

#2 – “changes” – XXXTENTACION

Produced by John Cunningham – from the album ? – Year-End: #94 – Peak: #18

Yeah, okay, well, first of all, rest in peace to Jahseh Onfroy, okay, I was never a fan of him or his music but nobody showing potential and talent deserves to die that early, alright? Now that all that is out of the way, let’s talk about the song itself, which makes my blood boil. “changes” has a lot in common with a Bad Bunny track, “Amorfoda”, mostly in the fact that it’s just four piano notes being repeated and that’s the beat. There’s no drums, there’s no guitar, it’s just that and briefly some strings. “Amorfoda” is even more minimalistic as it’s just simply piano and Bad Bunny (as well as his ad-libs). On the track, Bad Bunny’s lyrics are oddly poetic, and his performance is constantly changing with his flow and delivery never really staying in one place throughout the one pretty long verse. This is helpful as it keeps the track interesting, as otherwise it’s just a barebones piano ballad with an above average vocalist singing a mumbled hook and an excruciatingly long, unintelligible verse. “changes” is just that, except there’s no verse... there’s just a bridge, which is one line repeated six times. The hook is four lines long, the beat is only two notes this time around, the one addition to the droning immature vocals from X and PnB Rock’s boring crooning is some weak, barely noticeable fake strings. Piano ballads work when there’s legitimate power, and the closest we get to that is X and PnB’s harmonised humming that still would have sounded better if you got Kid Cudi to do it. Seriously, if you ever need someone to hum on your song, get this dude.

So, we’ve established it’s cheap, lazy and pointless, as well as mind-numbingly repetitive. There’s only five lines that are repeated for all two minutes and two seconds. The song concept is clearly there but they have no idea how or where to run with it so they just keep on saying the lyrics they have for a while and release it as a lead single (without PnB Rock credited, I may add). If you’re wondering if I’m downplaying the song and there’s more to it, no, don’t kid yourself. It’s both of these dudes moaning over piano that X probably didn’t even play. Now, what about those five lines?

Mmm, baby, I don’t understand this / You’re changing, I can’t stand it

Can I have a “get out of talking about a dead man’s domestic abuse charges free” card, please? Okay, so, let’s not pretend he wasn’t an abuser, he admitted to “F’ing her up” in an audio recording that Pitchfork discovered, as well as, you know, stabbing nine people, as you do. This song is about how Geneva, his ex, is making it hard for HIM despite him being the one beating her. X doesn’t understand why Geneva is changing opinions and attitudes towards him after he injured her to the point where she needs a GoFundMe for surgery (pictures of her eye are out there!) whilst carrying a child, and he has the gall to play a victim complex, and of course it works on his gullible young fanbase.

My heart can’t take this damage

“My heart can’t take this damage”? Miss me with that sadboi poetry nonsense. Ugh. Let’s move on before I pop a blood vessel.

Mmm, baby, I don’t understand this

Good riddance.

“changes” was my definite choice for #1 for a long time. If you recall when it showed up on the UK Top 40, I quite literally didn’t review it at all, and got someone else who loved the song to talk about it, in both respect for XXXTENTACION as he recently passed away at the time and to not spoil my list. At the end of the year, though, a song was released and I came to a conclusion: I can listen to “changes”. It is lazy, aggravating, has irritating lyrics and sounds unfinished... but I can hear it all the way through and not be all too bothered by it. Same goes for “In My Feelings” and “Freaky Friday”, they’re not long and they’re interesting enough, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re any good, and the reason why songs like “Te Boté”, “Drip Too Hard” or “Filthy” didn’t top this list is because there are parts I actually really appreciate in that song, and if anything I can laugh at it, even if they’re too long and they’re pathetic excuses for popular music. My #1 barely counts. It was in the top 40, sure, but at the tail-end of the year, and if anything, this is premature as it’s probably going to make 2019’s year-end list, but screw it, I have to get this out now. The worst hit song of 2018 is “Taki Taki” by DJ Snake featuring vocals from Ozuna, Cardi B and Selena Gomez.

#1 – “Taki Taki” – DJ Snake, Ozuna, Cardi B and Selena Gomez

Produced by DJ Snake – Year-End: N/A – Peak: #11

Now, “changes” makes my blood boil but really, at a musical standpoint, it’s competent enough. They’re on beat, both dudes can kind of sing, and the instrumental is inoffensive. “Taki Taki” is thre minutes and 36 seconds of absolute torture. We start with that hellish flute loop, which fades in at the start of the song and doesn’t change for the rest of the whole song, staying in the background for the track constantly, only getting pitched up in the chorus or “drop”, for added annoyance. The flute loop itself is painful and I don’t think I can really describe how much it gets on my nerves in words. It sounds like a rabbit with cavities playing a recorder, if you can picture that horrible image. Oh, and remember Ozuna? Well, he’s worse here. Not only does he sound like he recorded his own audio in his kitchen, but his nasal voice is aggravating. Something about the way he says fricatives makes me want to strangle a dolphin – which is fitting because that’s what he sounds like when he repeats the hook, “Taki Taki, rumba!” If you’re wondering what “Taki Taki” is, it means nothing. It means absolutely nothing. It is a nonsense word, but it does rhyme with several other words that Ozuna pronounces awfully, such as... well...

Booty explota como Nagasaki

The booty blows up like Nagasaki. Dude, how did this get through the executives? It reminds me of a Hoodrich Pablo Juan mixtape I heard where in the second track he just spurts out that broke people are gay or something and I question how the hell everyone in his label and heard that and thought, “yeah, that’s okay”. I know it’s Gucci Mane’s label in that case, so they don’t care, but this “Taki Taki” song was a major-label release by four of the biggest mega-stars in their own respective genres. How did this insensitive yet actually kind of hilariously awful reference to the 1945 Nagasaki atomic bombings slip through the cracks, man? Maybe it’s because Ozuna makes any person with sense’s skin crawl, so they just skipped his part. That’s reasonable – and understandable, I mean, I would to.

Hi Music Hi Flow

What’s with the producer tag for the dude who didn’t produce the song, Ozuna? What is the point of tagging this onto the drop? Oh, and Cardi B’s on here, and don’t get me wrong, I like Cardi but she is so non-descript on here.

I said, we should have a date / “Where?” At the Lamborghini store

How is this in any way a clever or unique punchline? This is just filler, and I don’t blame her – hell, I like Cardi for her delivery too but she’s not even that loud or energetic here so she needs something to back it up and, yeah, she just doesn’t. Someone on Twitter brought to my attention that it interpolates another Cardi B and Ozuna song, “La Modelo”, which is much better and leaves absolutely no reason to willingly listen to the song.

Oh, and in typical “Taki Taki” fashion, Cardi’s awfully mixed. What a surprise. It just sounds like Cardi DM’d DJ Snake a video of her rapping the verse with her kid Kulture crying in the background, so he took the audio from that and put it in Audacity’s “Noise Remover” function in order to remove the crying, making there a lot of awkwardly mixed moments that just sound like amateur hour, which DJ Snake shouldn’t be able to replicate at his level of stature and fame... but Selena Gomez’s verse? Oh, honey...

Careful when you come through my way

Is Selena Gomez trying to be intimidating? Because, uh, no. It’s not working, and never will.

My body-ody know how to play

Ugh, I’m not a fan of stuttering or repeating syllables to fill the meter, especially when they’re weak lines like this. It just feels so lazy, and Selena does it more than worse in her short verse.

And I-I-I know you need a taste

Oh, and why does she self-censor these three lines?

When I (OOH), you’re fallin’ in love / Give a little (OOH-OOH), get it well done / Dancing on my (OOH), make your girl want to run

Does Selena Gomez need to keep a squeaky-clean image? She had a video last year where she sensually chowed down on some lipstick, while a song called “Fetish” played. She can’t go back to the innocent Disney image after that, like, come on. If we cancel that out, then why isn’t Cardi censored? She gets away with saying stuff like this:

My piggy bank is hungry, my n****, you need to feed it / If the text ain’t freaky, I don’t wanna read it / And just to let you know, this punani is undefeated, ayy

Yet there’s not much that could really fit there. I figured the first bit was “shake my hips” or something, but does it have to be the same amount of syllables as the “ooh” that replaces it? If so, then that means the second “ooh” line is just nonsensical, unless it’s “hump-bump” or “bump-grind” because Selena Gomez wanted to reference R. Kelly or something. “When I...” What? Trip? Dance? Slip – as in slip off the panties? I don’t know, but seemingly none of these options seem worthy of even censoring, so I think we can call this lazy songwriting instead.

The “subtle” integrations of Spanish throughout her verse are pitiful, by the way.

Porque I am the party, yo soy fiesta / Blow out your candles, then have a siesta / They can try, pero no-one can stop me

I did barely a month of GCSE Spanish and I could write better Spanish bars than this. Also, what’s that last one?

They can try, pero no-one can stop me

Who’s stopping you from partying... or being the party, actually, as you specify?

I am the party, yo soy fiesta

If you’re wondering what “yo soy fiesta” means, it’s just essentially “I am the party” again. Yeah, if you don’t have a good line that rhymes, just give up and say it in Spanish. The worst line is easily the last one, though.

What my Taki Taki wants, yeah, my Taki Taki gets, uh

So, does this explain what “Taki Taki” is? Is it lust? Selena Gomez is supposedly so hot that she can get whatever her instinct is... that’s actually kind of a cool concept, so why is he said completely out of context in the chorus? Does it mean “My instinct is to dance” when they say “Taki Taki, rumba!”? “Rumba” is a dance, so it’s safe to assume that, right? Why are they making a reggaeton song feel like English comprehension? To be fair, however, Selena’s chorus does its job and is actually pretty decent, but then Ozuna comes in to ruin it all anyway, so who cares?

The reason this is above every song on this list is because it reeks of incompetence and is probably the song here that just sounds the worst all throughout its runtime, and all of this nonsense happens over a grating, neverending shrill flute loop, and, yeah, that pretty much explains why this song is the worst hit song this year, at least in my opinion. Hopefully that best list is coming soon, but for now, thank you for reading my incessant rambles about pop music and I’ll see you tomorrow on REVIEWING THE CHARTS. Bye!

Hi Music Hi Flow / Taki Taki / Taki Taki

deadcactuswalking

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entergamingxp · 5 years

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Murder by Numbers review – a witty, winning combo of puzzler and visual novel • Eurogamer.net

Honor’s having a bad day and now there’s a giant stiletto embedded in the side of a drag bar.

I’ll concede that the guy squished beneath the back wheels of the Pride float is probably having a worse day. But given Honor’s lost her job, her showrunner pal, an award ceremony and been at the scene for not one but two recent murders – all under the shadow of a not-so-amicable divorce and a very, very irritating mother, may I add – I think she might be running a close second.

Murder by Numbers review

Developer: Mediatonic

Publisher: The Irregular Corporation

Platform: Reviewed on Switch

Availability: Out now on PC and Switch

We’ve been called to the location by a friend of ours, K.C. Before we were fired, K.C. tended our hair and makeup on the set of our hit show Murder Miss Terri where we played second-fiddle to bolshy Becky in the titular role. But rather than calling the police on spotting what’s left of the dude squished beneath the wheels of the festival float, K.C. decided to drag us into it; you know, because poor Honor hasn’t been through enough.

The reason he’s called us? Well, it seems Honor has absorbed some of the detecting talents she aped on her TV show. Following bungled investigations bookended with the sneers of the grousing detective assigned to investigate these mysterious deaths, it turns out we’re better equipped than most to survey the scene and gather evidence, chiefly thanks to our new robot pal SCOUT, a damaged but super-friendly robot who sought us out to solve the mystery of his missing memory. He too mistook our TV persona for a real-life investigator, the silly thing.

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I didn’t even notice the corpse the first time Honor arrived at the scene at the drag bar. I didn’t properly notice them at the preceding ones, either. Murder by Numbers’ backdrops are unapologetically bright and busy, stuffed with colour and detail so your gaze is forever dancing across them, eyes bouncing from corner to corner as you take in the bold, colourful environments and the expressive motions of the cast. There’s no gore per se, but this means the few macabre touches – the handprints squeezed into a neck; the scarlet drops peppering a temple – stand out all the more, much to my delight.

The cast itself is equally diverse and colourful. I’m still not sure what to make of K.C. and Fran, the latter being drag queen bar owner, for while there are plenty of welcomed, positive messages about acceptance and LGBT issues here, a lot of it is tied up in teeth-clenching cliches and “thank STREISAND you weren’t there”s, which tempers the positivity a little. There’s also a not-so-subtle thread about power and emotional abuse woven throughout Honor’s tale, too, so be warned; it’s not just murder and mayhem you have to brace yourself for.

You’ll progress through Honor’s story in a number of ways; point-and-clicking for clues, flicking through the scenes of a visual novel, and by solving nonograms. The former’s simple enough, as is the central theme – characters chatter, you choose what to say in response; nothing you haven’t seen before – but I’ll level with you here: the latter is… well, it’s weird, right?

You see, SCOUT does exactly what he says on the tin; he scouts around for clues, using a scanner that might once have been cutting edge but is decidedly dated now. On discovering clues, you need to help him decipher the 8-bit-esque images of them by solving a series of puzzles – nonograms – that require you to fill in, or leave blank, cells on a grid.

Their days are numbered.

I’ll be honest; this prospect did not excite me. Sure, I’ve dabbled with a bit of Brain Training like the rest of us, but mathematical puzzles are not something I typically look for in gameplay at the end of the day, particularly as the conceit itself feels hammered into an otherwise unornamented visual novel.

I will be from here on in, though.

Though the name Murder by Numbers intimates a dusty experience that’ll kill you via relentless maths revision, these puzzles are exquisitely balanced and arrive right on time to break up the visual novel monotony. While a little overwhelming at first, there’s a great tutorial that’ll get you up and running sooner than you might expect, plus an easy mode for those who want the story with a less intellectually-taxing experience. The further you progress the more complex the puzzles will be, but you’ll likely learn – like I did – that even with eleventy-gazillion 1-1-1-1-1-1 combinations and not much else to go on, the silhouette of the image will help guide you when all else fails.

This isn’t necessarily best enjoyed on the handheld console, mind. The bigger the puzzles get the more there is to squeeze into the minimal real estate of the Switch’s screen on which I was playing, which means I often ended up giving up my (otherwise thoroughly enjoyable) portable sessions as my poor, bleary-eyes couldn’t clearly make out the numbers peppering the sides any more.

Navigating the nonograms isn’t without incident, either; the reticle is a wild, unwieldy thing, often flicking over the wrong cell. Even though it happens with both the controller and joy-cons, I’ll admit in normal play this isn’t too much of a problem, but it’s an absolute stinker in the timed sequences. Losing the round because you’re not fast/clever enough is one thing; losing it because the reticle slips around the screen like a greased fish is quite another.

But I’m being picky. I came into Murder by Numbers not really knowing what the hell to expect, and I leave it as an ardent admirer. Hato Moa’s – the creator of Hatoful Boyfriend – cast is masterfully brought to life with their (mostly!) relatable personas and credible dialogue, and Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney composer Masakazu Sugimori always seems to know precisely when to slow things down with a well-placed jazzy tune or pep us up with a liberal dusting of 90s J-Pop.

Despite its dark themes, Murder by Numbers is a wholly original treat and a complete bargain at that – I hope it surprises you for all the same wonderful reasons, too.

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/03/murder-by-numbers-review-a-witty-winning-combo-of-puzzler-and-visual-novel-%e2%80%a2-eurogamer-net/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=murder-by-numbers-review-a-witty-winning-combo-of-puzzler-and-visual-novel-%25e2%2580%25a2-eurogamer-net

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thelittledarkestdiamond-blog · 7 years

Text

Nurturing your Dead Soul?

Chapter Four

Singing how the sadness could be our personal boyfriend, in the sense of living in this way, the woods are high beside her. Both are smoking a lot went to these empty and deteriorated houses: hissing our best poems, both are delightful drunk, we already have been written in some few places, it is just a kind of write-foolish advice to these people seeming a mixed of our dreams, our bad terms, all the rejections, the bullying, slash, passion good times, the failures, their unrevealed bisexual flesh, our rules, pretty movies, symbols, songs… I spray the walls painting my best advice, letting them my most deep, golden and beautiful piece of advice like that:

DONT USE DRUGS: USE ME. REALLY.

IF YOU STILL BELIEVING A LOT (JUST A TRUE LOT) TODAY AT 11 O'CLOCK THE SKIES IT NEVER WAS OPENED IN YOUR CHILDHOOD GOING TO OPEN AND YOU WANNA SEE!

I NEED TO BUY ANOTHER MAN. YEP. THE EX IS DEAD.

MAKE SEX OVERNIGHT WITH ME NOT ONLY MAKE FUN, WE ARE NOT KIDS!

USE YOUR IMAGINATION, BABY. AND YOUR HAND.

PLEASE.

OWOO YEP!

EXACTLY! THAT'S THE POINT! (terrible and ordinary stuff like that but Lana and I adores IT, we both are laughing a lot writing every sentence, I roll my eyes, roll my eyes).

And:

(I hope you don't be pissed with us and yet — we had sprayed graffiti on your particular house last night so, don't call the Cops cauze you and me are together now so sorry and yep — it was us!).

Nonsense.

Bullshit.

Sorry, I’m a bit merry after few glasses of wine.

We still drinking all entire night in memory of the past events, both keep drinking ongoing through the dawn, being so high, you know, the promises and good desires someday will comes up. Lana said pretty silly sentences like:

— I am your Sisty even we did not grow up together, that’s not the point because I still being like YOUR SISTER!

I (very tired) kissed her forehead focusing on my own upset times of past and some desolation, only… thoughts, only my inner Devil child speaking — my Boo, my old imaginary friend — I’m wondering about our future as a result, I close myself in silence. Lana requires attention wondering maybe I am suffering an apparently low self-esteem (I hate that expression) or anything usual upset stuff.

I roll my eyes smiling peacefully at her:

— The life is more than my cover. My face. Let me alone. Stop. Please.

But Lana is so a little difficult, she learns to be stubborn just like me.

I still by myself so then, she starts with a low, tragic, glow and magic voice:

— You know, I hope you never forget about it, my Danny-Danny! You are so seductive, so strong loneliness, please… you worth. Don’t be silly. Don’t be silent. You have such beautiful voice, did you already realize that? You… I when… your presence is magnetic when you’re moving… I don’t know… your posture and gesture it was so pretty, you are just yourself, that is the thing I adore in you — she insists: I roll my eyes, roll my eyes, roll my eyes...

— I am being true Daniel, it’s You, Danny! You are... just… you are not a guy or a girl instead, you are... Being sincere I fucking don't know what the hell you are!(she always laugh so loud in this part): the beautiness trespass all of us for few moments, I’m sensing it, I know everything about you so, I can say it: I adore you so much to be unique.

— You’re high, sweet, go to the bed, thank you, I’ll take care of myself — I breathe, very, very tired. — You know me, you are so precious just like your amazing words. But I am still fallen and no one can do anything. Sorry, my lady. My Dead Empress.

She agreed:

— Do not forget your inner power. You inner child. That person you truly are here inside your chest. Prove it to me. Dot.

I smile.

— We are just two-fools my silly-girl and, I’m not upset… I’m just… wondering…

Even Friday night we going outside to have fun in sense of drug our spirit with good words, in my house we dress, we apply the makeup, doing the hair only to finally we look to the mirror:

— Your time — Lana requires.

— What? No, Lanny, it’s yo…

— Your. Time.

— Actuall...

— YOUR. TIME. DANIEL. PLEASE. DO. IT. RIGHT. NOW. DOT.

I inspire long leaps of breath to myself being loyal, almost fake truthful with this image I start that particular initial words:

— Hey, pretty Daniel. How are you, baby? I’m fine — I touch up the makeup, Lana command I improve it thinking big before we I leave, so… I inspire myself:

— I adore my hair and yep… but… it takes time to look good, bitchy, I have to confess: that new long shirt is amazing! And… Yep. I got it. Angel: I am really proud of you my non-binary person I know how amazing you are because you are true and that’s so good to sleep tonight — I’m numb, my voice is really low-beauty, it always calms me pretty down: — Your life, beautiful Danny is a miracle because you are here, now, please, let me be honest with you my boy: Not only tonight but… you need and… you’ll show it to yourself every day. Tonight will be amazing, let’s go inside it bitchy! We gonna did it: be so stunning on that party. You know. I always trust you. End.

— Better — Lana requires.

— What? — I said, worried.

— Improve it better — she requires.

— Don’t. What? Hey, I did my best. I did.

— I’m not happy.

— How?

— You wanna say this particular sentence… — she’s whispering in my ears the background idea of her thoughts, of course, I say it was gorgeous and ridiculous at the same time to say it loud… but she commands me to do it or we don't go to any party tonight.

— Fine. I’ll do it only cauze I’m numb — I surrender. — But really, that’s ridiculous.

Lana’s pining.

I breathe, approaching the front of the mirror saying:

— Hello myself again, today I am good, so… I’ll say it… Lana requires it, my mirror-friend: You. Are. The. Most. Blessed. Faggiest. Pretty. Around. Entire. All. This. World. You can doubt it sometimes but Tonight you Don’t. You go outside, you will gonna be prudent and happy… — I let my blue tongue slow, feeling good, smiling (I guess so) to that person front of me —: Yep. C’mon baby, let all the troubles behind you only Tonight, you deserve it, okay? You deserve to be happy, Lana and you have… sorry, Lana and you need to shine.

Now she’s excited — I keep doing it:

— It’s easy… just… preserve yourself and this crazy alien girl beside you… cauze tonight… we both… are… Queen! Right? Fine. Okay. Remember your big-flame-eyes, delicate shoulders… Did your chest still work here inside yet? Oh, fine. That’s the gold. Life is an awesome opportunity, don’t forget your sweet-lips, Lana said once it raises dead people from the grave. The boys. The friends. The drinks. The groom. The pale horses. All of it has been kissed by your lips, touched by your real life and it was magic, so, please, refuse those dirty-stinkers guys, I already know it but just to remember: You are beautiful. Sad. You are a Queen. That’s the power. Don’t forget. Goodbye, my mirror-mirror friend. Goodbye, my end. See you next week.

A little more happy-confident I smile, Lana hugs me celebrating one more conquest, very joyfully we dance like peaceful plastic angels I usually found once in an old disc album.

— Yep. I did it, Lana. Thank you. Go ahead, diamond. Go ahead because now it’s Your magic timing — I cut the moment seeing her approaching front of the mirror: starting to confess nurturing and passionate words to herself.

#pretty #good #story #sad #alone

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yamithediaperdork · 4 years

Text

Adventures in Cuckysitting (soul eater)

It was Friday night in Death city, and most young couples were going out and having fun, or at least staying in and cuddling. Most, not all. In a dorm room at Death Weapon Meister Academy however one young pair of lovers were setting up for their Friday night VERY differently from others. Black star and Soul were hands down a favorite couple among the girls at the school, gushing about how perfect they were for each other and arguments had gone on, at least at first, as to which boy ruled the bedroom. It had only happened at first because all too soon it was clear who wore the pants between the boys, and who wore the pampers. A month into their relationship ship and Soul started sporting a puffy butt and crotch at all times, and even if you bought into his claim it was just swelling from a allergic reaction, there was no hiding the crinkles, or the SMELL. Most of the time Soul's arrival was announced with a whiff of baby powder in the air, but other times, well, let's just say students in his classes had started to carry around clothespins for their noses just in case. Then you had to factor in the fact that Black star had started sleeping his way though the male half of the school's population, and from some account made Soul tag along to pay for some of his dates!

Tonight however, Black star had a wonderful evening planned with Death the kid, and didn't want his cute, though total submissive little boy around to sour the mood with a back door bomb if things ended up in the sack. It was with that in mind that Black star had at first contracted soul's partner in the field Maka to look after him, but she gave a hard no, since she wasn't overly fond of the smells the big baby could make when they worked together. She HAD however passed along some useful information that her Father, Spirit, Simply LOVED diaper boys, playing with them, teasing them, and also was Black star and Soul's number one shipper. Black star had been sure she was just exaggerating when she'd said that, but calling spirit up and asking him if he would maybe be interested in baby sitting little Soul for him had almost coast him his ear drum from the deafening squeal. As such, Black star got both of them ready for their big night out, even as soul sulked.

Sitting on their bed and in just his head band and one of the stupid massive thick diapers that Black star had a CLOSET full of, Soul crossed his arms and gave his boyfriend/daddy a pouty look. Black star had gotten himself dressed first and was wearing a pair of black dress pants, with black socks and dress shoe, and a light blue dress shirt, having left his black suit jacket off for right now. "I just don't..why can't you just stay in tonight? you can even have stupid face over if you want..I'll be nice and quiet! I'll go and play cars in my nursery when you uh.." And soul blushed and looked away. "When I get the attention I need from anther man, because my darling boyfriend is just a big baby?" Black star asked. He smirked as he looked though the different outfits his little guy had, as he felt tonight was a important night for them, cementing and confirming for any lingering doubters that soul was in fact, just a big baby. "D-Do you have to say it like that?" Soul whined, and his thumb found it's way into his mouth. "Look sweetie..you can sulk and whine all you want, but the bottom line is this: Who's the one that ASKED to put back in diapers, Me or you?" Black asked. Soul squirmed and sucked loudly on his thumb, drool going down his chin as he pointed at himself. "That's right. Now I know you didn't MEAN for it to escalate like this, but do you even think you could go without your widdle diapies anymore sweetie?" Black star asked, coming over and sitting next to soul and wiping at his chin with a spit towel that had been on the bed. with the boy drool free and not going to mess up his shirt, Black star pulled him in for a hug and tugged his thumb out of his mouth. "I..I could! Maybe..No." Soul said, going from hopeful to doubtful then out right defeated. "That's right. Last time i tried to be intimate with you, and by that I mean more then just rubbing the front of your diapers while bouncing you on my knee in a poopie diaper, what happened?" Black star asked. He'd be lying if he said being mean to Soul wasn't somewhat of a aphoristic for him, but tonight it was more about making sure the silly big bay knew his place. "I..I peed all over the bed before you could even enter me and cried for a hour." Soul said, eyes closed and crimson faced. "that's right. now, Daddy loves you, don't doubt that, but he needs to fuck a cute ass now and then, and get some dick himself. I know, you're so eager to just suck on daddy but it's just not the same sweetie." Black star said, patting the big babies back. "I..I'm sowwy." Soul whimpered. "Hey..heyy. it's all good. Now how about we go and get you in a nice and super embarrassing outfit, and then take you over to your babysitters? Daddy knows how much you love public humiliation." Black star coo'ed. "O-Ok daddy." Soul said, and then as Black star tickled his chin, the big baby giggled.

10 minutes later, as they were heading out the door, soul couldn't help but wonder if maybe he'd been thinking with the wrong head so to speak as he waddled big time out the door. Daddy had double diapered him despite the massive bulk and Soul was more or less cowboy walking as they slowly headed towards spirit's place. He was wearing a pair of baby blue booties and a pair of baby blue mittens that made his hands basically useless, trapping them in fists. He was also wearing a over the top blue with some white frills baby bonnet that at least SOMEWHAT helped hide his burning red face. In his arms was a pack of his Little stinkers extra thick diapers, apparently spirit had everything else a little guy could need but had asked for Soul to bring his own diapers. With his hands useless, Soul basically had to hug the pack of diapers to his chest, almost making it look like he loved his diapers (and in a weird way, that was true) and Black star just lead the way, taking the quickest route, even though it would also be the most crowded. They were already drawing attention, ranging from looks of disgust and sneers to pointing and laughter. Some just stared in disbelief and a rare few had looks of envy and admiration on their faces over how 'brave' Soul was. "Mommy, why's that big boy dressed like a baby?" One little boy asked, tugging on his mothers dress as she went to get them ice cream, and she turned and gasped and picked up the boy and covered his eyes. "Have you no shame?!?" She huffed, glaring at him. Soul of course said nothing but black star, who was feeling all sorts of pride in his big baby, had to speak up. "Not a fucking lick. You should be ashamed coming out with a face looking like that!" he said and smirked. She sputtered and huffed, and stormed off, and Soul found himself wishing the earth would open up and swallow him.

Thankfully the rest of the trip was uneventful, though a few boys had asked to take pictures with the big baby, but they were all chill about it and Soul was giggling a little, and they got to Spirits house with time to spare. Black star didn't even get a chance to knock on spirits door before it was opened up, clearly the older man had been waiting for them eagerly. "Come in come in! Let me see the baby!" Spirit gushed, and locking his eyes on Soul, you could almost SEE the hearts in his eyes. "oh my gosh! YOUR SO CUTE!" Spirit gushed and Without warning and making Soul drop his diapers, picked him up under his arms and held him up in the air. "Who's a super cutie widdle diaper bootie baby boy? You are! yesh you are! Oh yesh you arm!" He gushed. Soul couldn't help but giggle at the reaction while Black star smirked. "I take it you're both gonna be OK then?" he asked. Spirit set soul on his hip, a arm under the wonderfully thick diaper butt and waved Black star away. "Yes yes, shoo, let unca Spirit and his cute widdle darling diapie baby play!" He said "heh, well then, since I've been dismissed.." Black star chuckled and walked towards them. "Soul be a good boy for 'unca Spirit', and Daddy will see you later, or maybe in the morning depending." Black star said and leaned in, giving his little one a kiss on the cheek. "I-I uh..ehehe..Ok daddy. Bye.. Um..Please t'night thought." Soul said and his thumb was heading for his lips. Dis is a new house and might be scary." "oh nonsense, you'll LOVE it here!" Spirit said, dismissing the big baby's nervousness even as he tugged his thumb away and popped a large pacifier with a black mouth guard in the big babies mouth.

Getting inside and still on his newly dubbed 'unca's' hip, Soul looked around. he'd never been over to Maka's fathers place before as maka and her father didn't exactly get along most of the time. He supposed it would of normally looked like your everyday living room, with a couch set up, a coffee table with some magazines on it and the like, but today it had a LARGE playpen set up just past the coffee table with various baby toys inside of it. 'heh, you like? I was going to go with a normal playpen but I didn't think it would have enough room and didn't want my widdle guy getting all cramped. and I wasn't about to just sit you on the floor and risk you getting into things." Spirit gushed. soul squirmed at that, he wanted to tell Unca that he wasn't a REAL baby and could be trusted, but the paci just felt so damn good in his mouth. 'I'll hafa ask daddy ta get me one.' He thought and let himself get lowered into the playpen. for the most part Soul would normally wear diapers and had some baby outfits, and of course the stuff for diaper changes but aside from some stuffies he more or less didn't totally baby out. "You get nice and comfy in there, And I'll go and warm you up a ba-ba ok little guy?" Spirit asked, leaning over the side of the playpen and Soul suckled and nodded. the room in the playpen was enough that soul would have to take 3-4 steps to get from one side to the other, and the sides were high enough that even if he wanted to, there was NO way he'd of been able to get out on his own, even if he'd been in just ONE diaper. 'Holy crud, I feel JUST like a the baby I'm DRESSED as!' He thought and scooting on his padded bottom, he reached for a stuffed blue ducky and hugged it to his chest, grinning BIG time behind his paci. there was a few soft cloth books, with numbers and ABC's in the playpen with him, and a old speak n spell, not to mention a stuffed bear to go along with the ducky, and a stuffie of Death himself, but in his kid friendly appearance. there was some soft toy blocks and all and all, if soul had been a real baby or toddler, this would of been the mother load. he was up on his knees and trying to see how well the blocks would stack when Unca Spirit came back in, though soul hadn't noticed him yet, he was hunched over slightly as he worked and wiggling that big puffy back side from side to side and Spirit almost had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. "heh, I know you're having fun but I got a ba-ba ready for you." Spirit finally said, speaking up. Soul jumped a little, then turned around, a blush on his face and looking sheepish as Spirit came over to the edge of the playpen. "hey, no need to blush little guy, you were having fun, that's what I WANNA see." Spirit said and then held out the bottle for soul. the big baby tugged his paci out and set it on the floor of the playpen, but looked a little uncertain as he reached out for the ba-ba. "what wrong little guy? think it's spiked or something?" spirit teased. "N-No! I just..uh.. " he looked at the comically large, as in maybe one litire big, baby bottle. "I've never used a baby bottle before. well..i mean, I'm sure I did as a baby but like..Daddy just give me drink in big boy cups." soul said, stammering and rubbing the back of his head. "...That is criminal. a big baby like you deserves ba-ba's! and if this is going to be your first, then we're doing it right." Spirit said and withdrew the bottle, and set it on the coffee table then turned back to soul and reached down into the playpen, picking him up. "W-what are yo-" Soul squeaked out as he was effortlessly picked up and carried over to the couch. "Your first time drinking from a bottle, I ust HAVE to bottle feed you." Spirit said and chuckled. "Is that ok?" "I..I guess so." Soul said, blushing and his heart beating fast. 'oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!' he was thinking, never before had he wanted something SO bad, and not known it till this moment.

Cradling the baby in his lap, Spirit mentally chuckled, it was easy to see how eager Soul was to get the full on baby treatment. 'I'm going to have to have a LONG talk with Black star about how to look after a big baby.' He thought, but then shook off the slight anger he was feeling and focused on the bundle of cuteness in his lap as he picked up the baby bottle. "Now I poked 3 holes in the nipple, but if you're not getting your milk fast enough, let me know and I'll go and poke in more OK Lil guy?" He asked. Soul couldn't even talk anymore apparently, his gaze was fixed on the bottle and he was drooling a little as he dumbly nodded. Spirit was tempted for a split second to tease Soul with the bottle, but again chased that thought away and slowly put the nipple to the boys mouth so he wouldn't get squirted in the face. The second he could get his lips around the nipple Soul suckled with a eagerness that was almost lewd and made Spirit blush for a brief second, but he just settled for watching the thirsty boy suckle and chug at his ba-ba, hands coming up and holding onto Spirits arm. "Awww such a good boy, yes you are, you love your milk don't you?" Spirit coo'ed coo'ed softly. Soul nodded as much as he could and closed his eyes, gurgling and cooing even as he chugged away, draining the bottle FAR faster then Spirit would of thought possible, and that made him frown a little as the bottle was rapidly hitting the 2/3's point. "Slow down buddy, you're gonna get a gas bubble." Spirit warned, but he was ignored as Soul, if anything, sped up. "Guess I'll be burping you soon then huh? It's OK. Just know you can have all the ba-ba's you want when you're over at Unca spirits."

Soul hadn't been sure what to expect from the bottle, sure it LOOKED like milk but a small part of him was worried it was gonna be formula or the like. Instead a warm rich creamy milk flooded his mouth and he was in big baby heaven, barely aware as Unca was trying to warn him about something. he had only taken hold of unca's arm because he didn't know what to do with his arm's anyways, and truthfully as he felt himself going total big baby, he didn't trust himself not to start rubbing the front of his diapers. there was a kinda weird pressure building up as he chugged and he let out a small whine that got even louder as the ba-ba was tugged out of his mouth, and he gave out a cry. "Noo! want more!" he babbled in a babyish tone and reached out with his arms as Unca placed the half drained ba-ba on the table. "I know sweetie, but I think I better burp you to be safe." unca said. "den more ba-ba?" soul asked hopefully. "of course." Unca said and soul stopped reaching for it, and clapped his hands together. "Yayy!"

Spirit was a little bit taken back by how rapidly soul was going baby brained, but then again it only made the little guy even more adorable. getting him shifted onto his lap and having a spit rag over a shoulder, he put the big babies head over that shoulder and started to gently but firmly pack his back, and get some pats in on that cute diapered ass. Soul was gurgling and coo'ing like the big baby he was and it didn't take long for a loud belch to erupt out of his mouth, along with a touch of spit up but hey, that was the game when you looked after big babies. he was about to ask if the baby was down when a soft hissing noise was heard, and then loud bubbly farts erupted from the big babies backside. "heh, somebody got make presents?" Spirit asked. "heheh yah yah! Soul making pwesents!" the baby brained boy giggled and scrunched up his face and gave a BIG grunt. the back of the diaper crackled and crinkled as it expanded out and spirit chuckled. "oh my, your making me such a BIG present! good boy soul! Though i can see why your daddy put you in double diapies~" "hehehehe Uh-huh!" the big baby finished destroying the back of his diaper and well, wasn't exactly fresh smelling, but spirit didn't mind one little bit. "well mister stinky pants, if your all done., do you want a diapie change, or do you wanna finish your ba-ba?" Spirit asked, having a feeling he knew the answer. "BA-BA!"

The little guy conked out as he finished off his baby diaper, and Spirit carried him to a changing table he had set up in a makeshift nursery, to change his poo poo pampers. Or at least that had been the plan but halfway there there was a knock at the front door. There was no way Soul was just gonna leave a sleeping baby on the changing table, and it was quicker anyways to just double back and set the stinker in his playpen, then answered the door, shocked to see Black star. "Your uh..Your back sooner then expected." Spirit said, trying to hide the disappointment in his voice. "Yeahhh Death was just too anal tonight, and not in the good way. I mean, he's fucking amazing in the sack but was NOT worth the headache to-" Black star paused, getting a whiff and smirked. "Wow, already?" "hehehe yeah. Listen, why don't you come in, I'm gonna change the baby and put him down for a little nap, but I think you and me should have a talk about how to properly treat a little ball of cuteness like soul." Spirit said. "..why do i feel like I just got called into the principles office?" Black star asked, gulping.

The end, for now

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