#What a show. Jam packed with gay moments. Loved it

[the-cooler-king]

also since I finished kamisama kiss. Its a slightly better show if you imagine everyone is dating but I loved it. Loving the harem vibe for nanami she deserves it.

Also kurama and mizuki supremacy

[wheneverfeasible]

So we all know the mechanic Eddie aus out there, all love a greasy dirty Eddie Munson in coveralls, but what about mechanic Steve?

Steve, who has a nice car, who learned how to take care of it himself. Steve who found that he was actually pretty good with his hands, and a knack for fixing things. He understands cars, likes to tinker with them in his spare time, even if he had to teach himself at first.

Eventually he sees a Help Wanted sign at the mechanic’s and…well, why not? He applies, and he’s inexperienced, but they hire him. He sweeps and keeps things clean and tidy at first, and then he learns some hands-on experience, moves up in the job, and eventually he becomes the guy everyone wants to work on their car.

When the owner retires, it’s Steve who takes over the place, making the shop his own and making certain that it’s a safe place in a town where safety isn’t always guaranteed. The kids he used to babysit who aren’t kids anymore all learn car basics, Steve making certain they’re not caught in a jam and unable to help themselves, especially the girls. In the window, a small picture of Dorothy from Wizard of Oz rests, letting those who know…know.

And then maybe one day rockstar Eddie Munson returns to the small town he blazed out of after finally graduating, packing his shit up and high tailing it outta there like the bats of hell were chasing him. Maybe he’s still driving a shitty van, or maybe he got something a little more fancy. Maybe fame and money got to him a little bit and he’s got some fancy high end sports car and a bit of a dick personality. And this car breaks down. Who does he have to call?

King Mechanics.

And Eddie is huffing and complaining at it all, at his car for crapping out, for being late to meet his uncle, for having to wait for some mechanic to show up. And one does, not too much later after that first annoyed phone call. And the mechanic has surprisingly well-styled hair, and a body firm with muscle, filling out those oil stained coveralls nicely, and maybe Eddie starts to sort of flirt with the guy, until he looks at him properly.

Until he sees it’s Steve fucking Harrington.

And maybe they don’t get along well at first, and it’s all Eddie’s fault really, who is now huffy and puffy about having to deal with King Steve. Steve, on the other hand, is nothing but polite and professional, maybe even friendly. He might have taken back the moniker of king for his shop, might have even taken it as his last name after his parents disowned him when he came out as queer, but he’s far from who he was in high school.

And honestly? Teasing Eddie is kind of fun. Watching him get flustered and annoyed is funny because enough time has passed that Steve is comfortable with who he is and everyone in town knows he’s turned over a new leaf and it’s just amusing watching Eddie not realizing this yet.

They didn’t really have the parts he needs to fix Eddie’s car at the moment, however, so he orders them in. Offers to give Eddie a ride to wherever he needs to go. Maybe even mentions Wayne, with whom he actually got kind of close with, and who sometimes comes around for a cold drink now that he’s retired and has more free time on hand.

Eddie is incensed Wayne never told him he was friendly with King Steve, but Wayne never cared much for gossip, and Steve has been a godsend more than once when Wayne’s old clunker died frequently.

And so Steve and Eddie are thrown together, and Eddie realizes that maybe there’s more to Steve than meets the eyes, and that’s even before he discovers the Dorothy in the window. Sadly, he doesn’t discover it until after he goes on some rant about how Steve is clearly homophobic, but Steve just stares at him amused because he hadn’t even known Eddie was gay back in high school.

Eventually, Eddie realizes he and Steve have more in common than he ever realized. Realizes he’s become the sort of people he always despised and was a bit of an ass. Steve meanwhile was already aware of his crush on Eddie and was merely waiting for the right time to make his move.

Anyways. I just like the idea of done-up Eddie, slick and fancy, and dirty grubby mechanic Steve.

hostage tag: @derythcorvinus

[guywrestlingaddiction]

Humbled Hunks: Pete Sharp v Lon Dumont (bgeast.com)

Today's wrestling match poses the question, how do you humble a muscled wrestling hunk. How do you even begin to humble a colossus?

Pete Sharp v Lon Dumont (bgeast.com)

SPOILER ALERT: I highly recommend viewing this match in its entirety before reading this post.

The Backstory

We start by getting a good look at Pete.  If it wasn't already abundantly clear, Pete is built like a pro wrestler with muscles ready to do some real damage.  Few wrestlers can compare to what Pete's packing - that 6 foot 2 frame of his is jam packed with tanned muscle ready to dominate all challengers out there.  

Pete's got that look of pure aggression on his face as the much much smaller Lon tries to physic him out - verbally dominate him? I'm not sure what he had in mind honestly entering the ring.  

Just shut up Lon and hope the big guy makes this quick

The Action

It really doesn't take long before Pete shows Lon how he uses those impressive golden muscles.  The guy lifts, carries, basically utterly destroys Lon like he weighs next to nothing.  

Lon is looking tiny compared to Pete's massive body.

You can tell that Pete is only tapping Lon.  The big man doesn't want to flatten him. 

And just like that Pete has destroyed his opponent with shear muscle and strength.  Lon may have experience on his side but Pete is a behemoth of a man. 

The Moment 

It should come as no surprise that Lon needs to cheat.  The man is small, barely a speed bump compared to the powerhouse that is Pete Sharp.  Lon has some skill but he is completely out classed here.  That said this isn't our moment here.

Lon's humiliated and hanging onto Pete's thighs 

Pete's hurting from being the better man in this match.

In fact it takes Lon a serious amount of time with almost no resistance from Pete to break that iron clad body down.  Lon is tiring out by the end of this match while Pete is barely even feeling it.  

That's right punch away, I'm sure Pete barely feels this.  

Until finally, finally we reached our moment - Pete is tied up and at the mercy of his tiny heel.  It took some time but even the mightiest can be humbled.

So what have we learned today? We learned that everyone can be humbled. Honestly, this makes gay wrestling even more appealing to me, the artful and the fantasy of it all.  Any hunk can be humbled and that is why I love gay wrestling so much.  

[mormonbooks]

Daughter of the Deep Review

Alright, it's been a little while since I finished this book but I'm finally writing the review.

4/5 stars!

This book is by Rick Riordan, and while he's not a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints -- so this book doesn't technically fit my "by mormons about mormons" criteria -- I wanted to include this book because it's one of the only pieces of mainstream media that has casual mormon rep that I've ever heard of.

Summary - Ana Dakaar's freshman finals trip gets turned into a life-death situation when Harding-Pencroft (the school she and her friends attend) is destroyed. The freshmen are the only ones left standing and they discover that there is more to their school than they originally thought -- Captain Nemo from 1000 Leagues Under the sea (also known as Prince Dakaar) was a real person, and their school was built to honor his memory and continue researching the incredibly advanced naval and marine technology that he had invented. Ana has to trust her friends Esther, Nelinha, and Gemini (as well as herself) while they try to win a war they never realized they were a part of.

Gemini Twain is the only Mormon character and he is great. Spoilers under the cut.

Well written - 5 Stars.

Listen, it's Rick Riordan. He's good at writing, what am I gonna say?

2. Fun Level - 5 Stars.

The story is just jam packed with fun and entertaining moments and ideas. The advanced technology is intriguing and silly at the same time, the characters are engaging and their relationships are fun! I had a great time jumping from suspenseful action moments, to heartfelt friendships, to tender introspection, and back to silly sci-fi. It's just a blast.

3. Complex Faith - 4 Stars.

Gemini's faith isn't explored very much, because he's not a POV character. That being said, he is one of the main characters that Ana interacts with, and we get hints that his relationship to his religion is complex. His parents are hippies, and he never knew them because he was raised by his grandmother. She is the one who introduced him and his brother to the church. His brother is on a mission, and Gemini is the only Mormon at HP. He's a really lonely kid. We don't get the sense that he's close with a faith community in the area. Although we don't know Gemini's personal relationship with God, his backstory makes him a unique enough Mormon character (basically, not a Peter Priesthood) that I think he warrants a high score in this regard.

4. Homophobia Scale - 4 Stars.

There is absolutely no romance in this book. I know people like the ship Ana and Gem and there is certainly room for that (and the difference in religion would be interesting to explore) but there is also room for all the characters to be ace, or literally whatever. So, while there are no gay characters, there are also no straight characters. Everyone is just ... trying not to die actually.

5. Mormon Weird - 1 star.

Because Gemini isn't a POV character, we don't get a lot of Mormon specific things. There is a moment where Gemini unthinkingly talks to a Nelinha (who is from Brazil) about his brother who is on a mission in Brazil, as if Nelinha would somehow know his brother even though Brazil is a huge place, which seems like a specifically Mormon Moment to me (in an affectionately, "Oh yikes, we do that don't we" way), but yeah. Not a lot of Mormon Weird included in this book.

6. Diversity of Characters - 5 stars!

Ana - Indian American, Hindu, multilingual (English, Irish, ASL, Bundeli, etc)

Nelinha - Brazilian, bilingual (English, Portuguese)

Esther - European American, Autistic (and written very well from my opinion), has an Emotional Support Dog

Gemini Twain - African-American, Mormon,

Plus lots of other characters who show up throughout the novel, all with their own backstories, ethnicities, and personalities. I love them all.

7. Other Problematic Stuff - 5 stars

Nothing to report. It was just great.

Conclusion - Please read this book!! It's just so much fun, the cast is so great, the world is fascinating, and the plot is engaging. I love Gemini Twain with all of my heart and I want everyone else to know and love him too. It's also just so refreshing to read a book that acknowledges our existence, and allows a Mormon to be one of the heroes in a sci-fi story, just like ... casually. I love him.

I said in my goodreads review that:  "I didn't necessarily see myself in Gem, but I saw all the boys I grew up with in Sunday School, the guys I served my mission with, and the men I met at BYU." He's a good one.

[gaykey]

So, Only Friends. Haven't watched it yet, but from the gifs it looks like there's a whole season of stuff happening in just one episode. What's your first impression?

oh anooooonnnn, it is jam-packed! now, i have a lot of feelings about this show, as you probably can tell, so, prepare for an essay.

a lot did happen in ep one, but of course, as it's the pilot, most of it is dedicated to introducing the characters, and their relationships and establishing the setting. and, as these characters are a hugely messy bunch of twenty-somethings, there was a lot going on.

and it was done so well, i felt fufilled after ep, bjt also, desperate to see where it all goes.

my first impression?

genuinely, i think it is gonna immediately be in my ult list of bl's, and a definite milestone for the industry as a whole.

now, thats sounds a bit grandiose, especially after only one episode but, idk, i have a good feeling.

but, it is seriously good. i think our hype was worth it.

it hit all the points that a first episode should, and showed off what each actor was capable of.

it had your mind going mad a little trying to think how it's all gonna pan out. it just? made me feel really excited for what's to come.

there's not a single story arc that i'm not interested in, and ngl, that's rare for me.

and like, queer dramas like this aren't too common, especially on a network like gmmtv. they've delved slightly toward edgy and sexy before, but not to this level.

of course, this is down to the brilliant p'jojo, the director - who also directed other stand out shows 3 will be free which i have watched, and loved, and the warp effect which i haven't watched, but have heard really good things.

p'jojo is a queer man himself (most of team behind this are queer in fact. this is a show for queer people by queer people.) and it really shows in his work. he brings forth discussion of topics that other bl's dont. his shows are mature, and real, and dark, and gritty.

he tends to broach topics, that are still quite taboo in society, especialy for mainstream thai media - or, at least thai media of this kind, which tends towards the silly, fluffy side, which tbh, is also a nkce contrast to the doom & gloom of a lot of gay media in the past. but, he shows issues like sex work, substance abuse, mental health, sex & sexuality - things that queer people may experience, but, who's stories get dismissed as too? dark to be protrayed for a wide audience in the bl sphere.

so, the direction and overall production is stellar, as is the cinematograhy (thanks p'rath), and the cast-!

omg, again, it's only ep one, but, wow, they're so fucking good.

they're all really flexing their acting chops in this one. and they are going all out, to the point where another director of bl dramas, p'aof (moonlight chicken, tale of a 1000 stars, bad buddy) was gagged at their performance

these are characters and roles that most fans would have never seen them on before. it's only recently, as of the last few years, from my experience anyway, that these actors are being taken seriously for their talent.

and only friends is pushing the boat out even more.

so, direction a+

story a+

overall look a+

acting & cast a+

now, all of my feelings could maybe be down to that first ep hype - but i don't think they are.

this is gonna be great. this, like kinnporsche, and itsay and not me, and a select few others, which were all signifcant moments for thai queer dramas - will be a cultural reset.

and i am soooooo excited to make it my entire perosnality for the next 12 weeks.

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

1D Monthly Fic Roundup

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for August 2021! Below you’ll find 23 One Direction fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​.

Happy reading!

He Carries The Key by @lululawrence

[Niall/Louis, OT5, 8k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

Niall was mostly home, ready for a shower and a chat with Louis, when suddenly Niall was flooded with emotions from the pack bond.Shock. Surprise. Confusion.But mostly fear.Something was wrong with Louis.

Plus One by mynameispiaivy / @missrefridgefreetorator

[Louis/Luke Malak, 3k, Mature, tumblr post]

Louis is invited to an event and he has to bring a "plus one".

Better Mistakes by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10

[Harry/Louis, 117k, Explicit, tumblr post]

“Look, this doesn’t have to be the end of the world-”

“Oh but it fucking is,” Louis said, shaking his head. “How the fuck am I going to tell Matt I’m pregnant with a baby when we’ve not had sex in months? He might be a bit thick sometimes, but he is gonna know there’s no chance this baby is his.”

“You don’t have to, uh, tell him it’s mine, right?”

Louis scoffed. “Why, are you scared he’s gonna come and kick the shit out of you?”

“He wishes,” Harry laughed, looking back down at the test. “Shit, I … I can’t believe this. Louis, I didn’t mean for this. Honestly. It was just sex for me. We have great sex, and I didn’t see why I should have to turn that down, not when you clearly wanted it as much as I did. I didn’t want this to end in a baby.”

Louis knows he shouldn’t be sleeping with his boyfriend’s enemy. He knows that. But there’s something that draws him back to Harry over and over again. Falling in love wasn’t part of the plan...

Thou, Sun, Art Half As Happy by @lululawrence

[Louis/Harry/Nick Grimshaw, 7k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

Hello, I’m sorry if this isn’t a post that is allowed on this channel, but I was hoping for the best since it is regarding a photography project I’m working on at the moment. I’m working on a set of sunrise kiss photos and therefore am needing a willing kissing partner. I’d hoped to be able to provide one for myself, but it hasn’t panned out, so here I am! I was hoping to find someone here, since I know most of you (at least peripherally) and can generally vouch for you not being creeps. Plus this way I know you will understand needing to continue to tweak the camera settings and reshoots etc that others might not.

Anyway, I’m looking for someone who identifies as male or male-ish (sorry, ladies) who is between the ages of 18 and 40. I’m a 29 year old male-ish myself, for those who would like to know before replying.

If you’re interested and are free the early morning of August 7th and would like to kiss in the sunrise with me for the sake of some (hopefully) interesting and fun photos, let me know via DM and I’ll give you the location.

OR the one where Louis needs a kissing partner, two show up, and it all might turn out for the best that way.

call my name and save me from the dark by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Louis/Harry, 4k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

“I don’t know if it was a nightmare,” he confesses to the ceiling, the darkness making it easier to speak up even when he still has to close his eyes to stop himself from tearing up. “It feels more like a memory. But it can’t be.”

Harry shifts, and Louis can feel his chin perched on his chest, doesn’t need to look at him to know that Harry’s studying him. “Why?” He prompts, when Louis doesn’t immediately continue, and Louis swallows, tries to shrug off the apprehension, the fear that Harry will think that he’s gone mad.

“Because I heard them pronounce me dead.”

Feels like home by @neondiamond

[Louis/Harry, 2k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Louis comes home from work with an exciting surprise. Daydreaming and celebrations ensue.

this is my jam by @disgruntledkittenface

[Harry/Louis, 4k, Mature, tumblr post]

The guy’s eyes are so blue that Harry can’t tear his gaze away, even as he moves to the beat. The searing light shade is magnetic; he finds himself leaning in and yelling, “This is my jam!” only to earn a laugh from thin pink lips that Harry’s definitely going to be dreaming about tonight.

“Your jam?”

When the guy yells back over the music, his blue eyes sparkling and his lips twisted in a smirk, Harry’s chest literally puffs out with pride at earning his attention. His obvious approval. Tongue-tied, Harry nods and closes his eyes as he lets go, the music reverberating around them. All of the usual inhibitions that keep him in the corner at parties fall away and he bounces around the center of the dance floor, waving his arms above his head. Somehow his towel stays on, even as he starts to think he wouldn’t mind if it fell off. Fuck it. He finally made it here, he’s damn well going to enjoy it.

Harry goes to a gay bathhouse for the first time. 90s AU.

I Know My Arithmedick (2 + 2 = 4sum) by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

[Harry/Louis + Louis/multiple partners, 3k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Harry wants to watch Louis fuck someone else. Louis loves giving Harry what he wants. It’s simple math, really.

doG…and his friend by @uhoh-but-yeah-alright / yeah_alright

[Louis/Harry, 3k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

When Joan has to move out of her small, nice home and in with a random roommate, she obviously brings her dog/boyfriend, Doug, with her.

Doug makes a friend. And maybe more.

I Heard You Talking by @lululawrence

[Louis/Harry, 10k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

It had been an hour of their noise that Louis had been dealing with, and for some reason the fact that these grown men were being this rowdy in the quiet carriage over a game of Uno was the breaking point for him. He stood up and turned around, making his way down to where the group of five were somehow gathered around a table.

Louis stopped at the table and cleared his throat, mouth open and ready to politely request they keep it down when the man who was sitting with his back to Louis turned.

He was stunningly gorgeous.

Blinking a ridiculous number of times in an attempt to pull himself together, Louis coughed and spit out, “This is the quiet carriage.”

God, he was nearly forty and that was the best he could do in front of a set of pretty, green eyes?

Or the one where Harry is famous and Louis doesn't have a clue. Good thing his son is able to help him out.

All That You Need by @haztobegood

[Louis/Harry, 2k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Pre-heat was always one of Harry’s favorite times to spend with Louis. It was a time to rest up and indulge in extra cuddles, like basking in a ray of sunshine before having to dive off the deep end. Louis lavishes him with tender touches and soft kisses. Harry wants to savor this time as long as possible. The unquenchable need will come later, but for now, his desires are simple. He just needed to be closer to his alpha. As close as possible.

sickly sweet fonding by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

[Louis/Harry, 1k, General, tumblr post]

A few members of their crew start piling up the dirty dishes and taking them over to the sink. Harry walks around the cameras, and smiles brightly at Louis.

“What do you think, Lou? Do I have it in the bag?”

Louis eyes a bowl of bright pink lumpy batter being cleaned from Harry’s side. “Of course you do.” He wraps an arm around Harry’s waist and steers him away, all while ignoring the dramatic gagging Niall is doing. He doesn’t think it’s just the batter making Niall gag.

or the one where Louis fonds over Harry's horrible baking skills

Fractured Moonlight by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

[Louis/Harry, 1k, Mature, tumblr post]

Louis huffs because he doesn’t want to deal with this. “Listen, I appreciate your concern.” He doesn’t. “But it’s not your duty to look after the sad man at the bar. Okay?”

'Ere comes the milk by stretchmybones / @onlyfor-thegays

[Harry/Louis, 1k, Explicit]

Louis is obsessed with Harry's mommy milkers.

everything comes back to you by stretchmybones / @onlyfor-thegays

[Louis/Harry, 8k, Explicit]

Harry and Louis are childhood best friends. What happens when Harry has to move towns just as they are starting their secondary gender presentations? What happens when fate brings them back together years later in the most unexpected of ways?

He Still Takes My Breath Away by @parmahamlarrie

[Harry/Louis, 32k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

Camp Infinity is the perfect place for a lot of things; hiking, swimming, sports, eating, and falling in love. Harry Styles is a bit too familiar with the last one from his years of being a camper. This year things will be different. He’s 21, a grown man now, and ready to see Camp Infinity from a different point of view; working as a lifeguard. However, his whole summer turns upside down when a familiar British lad makes his return into Harry's life.Or the one where Harry is a lifeguard and Louis is the head of recreation. And, sometimes, you just need a little push to realize what was right in front of you the whole time.

Also known as – The Summer Camp Fic

tread lightly on my ground by fairytalelights / @lookslikefairytale

[Louis/Harry, 20k, Explicit, tumblr post]

No, that's the tragic part of this, the part that makes Harry feel like the universe is playing a cruel joke on him. The father of his baby is exactly right, exactly who he always imagined himself having kids with. He just imagined them married, bonded. Happy. He didn't imagine them barely talking, tip-toeing around each other because neither of them is brave enough to talk about what happened between them. He didn't imagine the father of his child not loving him back.

or, the one where Harry is having Louis' baby, but Louis doesn't know it's his.

Getting a Head for Heights by @ladyaj-13 / LadyAJ_13

[Louis/Greg James, 3k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

The problem is, Louis thinks Greg would be quite good to date, so it would really help if everyone would stop reminding him of that fact so he could unthink it. He’d be a gentleman, at least until Louis talked him out of it, and he’s funny and nice and hot and they’re both into music and football and drama. He’s also a freakish giant of a human, and the problem with dating is that sooner or later you have to stand next to each other.

We Go Together (series) by @beelou / cherrylarry

[Louis/Harry, 3k, General, tumblr post]

A grease au

Hot Boy Summer (series) by @louisandtheaquarian / zita17

[Harry/Louis, 35k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

Louis is an overworked bartender hoping to save up enough extra tips to buy a new air conditioner before he literally melts during a scorching NYC heat wave. Harry is the new neighbor that wakes him up by moving in his sole day off at 6am. An NYC enemies to neighbors to lovers AU featuring a rickety fire escape, the 2021 Euros, Lirry bickering like a divorced couple, and enough OT5 clichés to rot your teeth. (If Harry's pastries don't get them first.)

across the river is where my heart is by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 8k, General, tumblr post]

The first time they see each other is when they are toddlers, playing out in the yard. Louis remembers sitting on the perfectly trimmed lawn and getting yelled at for picking at the soft blades of grass; she remembers looking over, across the narrow but deep and wild river, and watching another little girl, out in a different garden, picking flowers for her mother.

She remembers carefully raising her hand and waving—her little heart beating hard in her chest, as if she had done something dangerous, something forbidden, even though back then she could not understand the true divide the River made amongst them.

bright eyes, blue denim by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 2k, General, tumblr post]

Louis' favourite jeans have suddenly disappeared from where he always got them. Harry is a store manager with an affinity for customer care, particularly when the customer has bright blue eyes and happens to be very flirty.

whatever you feel like doing in this moment by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Harry/Louis, 2k, General, tumblr post]

Louis gets all that he's ever wanted during his favourite game at their group's weekly improv show.

[g0ldengubler]

chapter 6~life is a “high” way

(*i do not own this gif*)

A/N: this chapter is honestly one of personal favs because we get to see more of spencer feeling more confident in himself in a way while still being him and it’s just aaaaa :’) tomorrow you will get chapter 7 but then after that, expect chapters to come out a bit slower, including requests (which i am working on currently and thank you so much for sending them my way!). lots of my focus needs to be on my personal life but writing helps me get through all of that hell, so i’m in a very wishy washy position lol. thank you so much for the love on nauseous i love uuuuuu

Category: fluff w smut at the end

CW: road head, d/s dynamic, daddy kink

Word Count: 3282

before you read | last chapter | next chapter (coming soon!*)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spencer parks in front of your apartment building and stays in his seat as you get out. You both had decided that packing up right away and not going to lunch was better. That way, you can learn more about each other on the way there. You couldn't wait to get inside that smarty-pants brain of his and find out what's really going on in there.

You shut the car door and start walking, but stop when you don't hear his footsteps behind you. When you walk back to the car, you see Spencer sticking his battery in the cigarette lighter to charge.

"You're more than welcome to come in, y'know." You chuckled.

Spencer looks up at you, licking his lips as he moves some of his hair behind his ear. "It's ok, I don't want to bother."

"You won't be a bother. I've been to yours, now you can come into mine."

"Oh, so that's how that works huh? You have to go into the guys apartment before the guy goes to yours?" Spencer said sarcastically.

"You know what I mean!" You pull open the car and grab his hand, "C'mon, Spence. You'll be fine!"

He giggles under his breath and comes out of the car. After locking it, the two of you head inside and up the elevator to the 4th floor. Once at your door, you unlock it and open up to 4 paws jumping onto you. You hear Spencer gasp in surprise and giggle at his reaction, making it seem like you were giggling at your two buddies. Sitting on your old couch was your next door neighbor, Seth, who was watching Pose on the tv.

"Thank you again for watching the boys while I was gone. I really owe you big time for doing this." you say as you get up from the floor.

Seth gets off of the couch and walks up to you to give you a hug. "Anytime! If anything, they can stay at my place when you go on a case-" He stops and looks over at Spencer, standing awkwardly by the door still and letting the dogs sniff him, "Although, it seems like this new case was a success."

"Shut up, Seth!" You giggle, lightly slapping him on the arm. Realizing you forgot your manners, you quickly try to take it back. "Seth, meet Dr.Spencer Reid. Doc, meet my neighbor, Seth."

Seth reached his hand out to shake, but Spencer politely denies. "Sorry, I-I don't shake hands. It's actually been proven that it's safer to kiss." You catch Seth's eyes looking him up and down. "Seth stop teasing him like that!" You laugh. Spencer wasn't into guys, but somehow Seth looking at him made you a little jealous. You're not even dating the man, y/n shut up, you think to yourself.

"You and I will talk later." He says.

"Oh, Spence! These are my babies. The scottie is Benedict and the husky is Draco."

The room went silent for a moment, Spencer trying to hold in a chuckle. "Yes, I did name them after Benedict Cumberbatch and Draco Malfoy. I've had them picked out since I was a teenager, don't judge."

"Oh c'mon hun," said Seth, "it's adorable that you named them the way you did."

"It is," Spencer spoke, "I didn't depict you as a nerd."

"Oh my god, you kidding? She's probably the biggest nerd I've ever met with all her Sherlock and other crime shows, Harry Potter, Doctor Wh-"

"Ok, I think he gets it Seth!" You cut him off. That was enough embarrassment for today.

"I will say, Benedict or Tom Felton could always come my way."

You slap him on the arm again laughing. You look back at Spencer, who was awkwardly chuckling along with. You then announce that you were going to get in the shower. "Seth, can you take them for a few more nights? We're going up to my dad's cabin back home for the weekend. Also, when I get out and do my makeup, you promised me that you would tell me how your date went last night with 'Mr.Perfect' as you said it."

"Bitch I have ALLLLLL the tea that I'm not missing on spilling!"

"Good. Now you two get along. And Spence," He looks up at you, his hazel eyes looking into you...

"Don't miss me too much, hm?"

Then you walked into your bathroom, trying to wrap your brain on the fact that you just said that to him.

                           ~Spencer's POV~ I can't believe she said that.

She left me here a little turned on. I could start feeling my pants getting tight and had to put my bag over myself as I sat on the couch so then I wouldn't embarrass myself in front of Seth. I looked around her apartment to distract myself of thoughts of being in the shower with her. She had a very interesting aesthetic. Walls white with old picture frames that had beautifully taken old photos in them. The lamps that were in the living room looked like they were from the 70's, old gold coating chipped off at some parts of the stand. While there was a vintage look to her place, it was also very modern at the same time, a minimalistic look took over her kitchen. She had a fake vine hanging from the wall behind her tv, some of it covering her maroon record player. In some ways, our aesthetics were similar. If she had a bookcase in here, I'd feel like I was at my place.

Seth and I began to get to know each other. I came to find out that Seth worked as a bartender at a club, and he enjoyed taking photos for his social media. "I would love to be a photographer," he said, "but right now it's just a hobby that I do mostly during the colder months." He says cold, cloudy days (especially if it's raining) were the best times to take photos, in his opinion.

"So," he says, "you work with y/n at the BAU?"

"Yeah, we've really become good friends in the past 9 days. It's like we've known each other for years. Plus, she's great out on the field. She's definitely someone myself and the rest of the team will never take for granted."

"Thank god," Seth said as I heard the water turn off, "She told me that it was her dream to be a part of the BAU. She would never stop talking about it when she was in college."

"Hm, she never mentioned that to me."

"Well, let her tell you on your way to the cabin. She'll love it."

After a little bit more conversation, y/n came back to the living room. Her hair was damp, not fully wet but not dry either. She had thrown on a white turtle neck shirt with a brown sweater vest over it. She matched it with darker brown corduroy pants, cuffing the bottoms. In her hands was what looked like to be her makeup bag. She sat down in front of the mirror that was in the corner on the left side of the tv (when you look at the tv), beginning the process.

Seth and y/n talk about his date from last night and got pretty detailed about it. He talked about how the man took him to a gay bar that was a few blocks from here, and how they danced and drank the night away. "Oh and then get this," says Seth, "we're pretty drunk at this point, right? Well at one point, the local queen that performed came up to me and tried to flirt and shit, thinking she was all that and a bag of lashes, and he saw how uncomfortable I was and stood up for me. And let me tell you, he was REA-DY to throw hands!"

"Stooooop he's literally a keeper!" y/n says.

Once she was done with her makeup, she gets up and goes back to her room, coming back out with her luggage. She goes over to the door to grab a pair of Vans and comes back to tell Seth and her children goodbye.

"I'll be back in a few days. Thanks again, Seth. I really-"

"Owe me one, I know I know!" Seth cuts her off, "Now go have some fun and relax, you need to after working so damn hard for this job!" He turns to me and waves. "And it was very nice meeting you, Doctor."

"It was nice to meet you, too! But please, you can just call me Spencer."

Seth smiles as we walk out the door. What this trip will bring? For once, I'm letting fate take the lead instead of science.

~Y'N's POV~ It had been about a few hours of being on the road. At this point, you were somewhere in Pennsylvania, but not sure if you were close enough to Philly to grab a cheesesteak. You think back to the start of the drive. You suggested that you'd be the dj because your library on spotify had a full range of genres with some songs you had no clue were in there. "It'd be a fun little journey!" You told Spencer. And that it was, a journey.

You ended up driving right by a dispensary before even leaving DC. Garcia told you that that's where she gets her stuff, but knowing that bringing a lot of weed across the country wouldn't be a fun trip, you two decided to go with the original plan and just wait till you get to Michigan.

You could tell Spencer was getting a kick out of your music library. While majority of the songs he didn't know, he was still being goofy and jamming out along with you, trying to match the same energy you were having. The songs that talked about sex, drugs, and/or alcohol surprised him every time, his jaw dropping or his eyes bulging out of his head as he listened to the lyrics. You couldn't help yourself but laugh at his reactions, which would make him laugh along with you.

You two weren't alone, however. You were pretty much sucking down on the carts you still had, although you both made a deal that whoever was driving could only get a little high if they wanted to, drinking plenty of water and eating snacks to sober you up a bit if needed.

Driving through Pennsylvania, you look out the window and onto the scenery around you. You weren't paying attention, however, because you couldn't stop the dirty thoughts that intruded your mind. You couldn't help to think about giving him head, since you hadn't done it yet because both times he gave you all the pleasure. You couldn't wait to get to the cabin and go straight to your knees for him. Suddenly, you tried to get them out of your head. 'You're getting way too excited, y/n. STOP IT!' you thought to yourself.

You decided to just feel everything around you, taking a few more hits from your pen before taking it in. Nineteen by Movements was playing; it was like you could feel the song itself and everything about it as you looked up at the very tall street lamps passing by. Nothing felt better than this moment. Just you and Spencer out on the open road. It felt like nothing could stop you two. You felt free, but you also felt safe and complete, something you haven't felt in a long time.

At one point, you couldn't take it anymore. It was 2:30am and Spencer was still driving. He told you to get some sleep but you weren't sleepy or tired at all. You tried to feel free but when you did, you thought of Spencer, which led to dirty thoughts. It was like you couldn't escape it, and every time the thoughts came, you couldn't help but secretly rub your thighs together for some kind of friction.

As you tried to get the thoughts out of your head, you look over to see a nice little surprise. The passing lights outside helping you see, you noticed the bulge in Spencer's pants. How in the hell would he be getting hard now of all times? Were dirty thoughts intruding his mind, too? Seeing that made you even more wet than you already were. This was your chance.

You look out to the open road in front of you, and gently graced your fingers across his bulge. You look out the corner of your eye...nothing. Not even a flinch. 'Playing hard to get, hm?' You thought to yourself. So you did it again, which made him shift in his seat a little, still pretending he didn't notice anything. Finally, with some kind of courage that you never knew you had, you grabbed his cock through his pants and slowly started to stroke it. His eyes came out of his head, letting out a small gasp.

"You know I'm driving, right?" He asked, "We could crash if I'm paying attention more to this and not on the road."

You give him a smirk, "It's almost 3am," you begin to say, but then you notice that you're the only car on the road, "and no one else is on the road right now."

You start to undo his belt with your one hand. "You pleasured me twice already," you continue, your hand successfully undoing the belt and undoing the zipper on his pants, reaching inside to pull out his already, fully hard cock, "I need to show my thanks somehow, don't I?"

Spencer shifts in his seat, keeping his eyes out on the road. You were kind of hoping he was looking for somewhere to pull over, but you wouldn't mind doing it as he drove. "You...you already did...b-by inviting me to your dad's cabin."

You stopped stroking and he almost let out a whimper. "I saw that bulge in your pants just a few minutes ago, are you suuuurree you don't want to...daddy?"

Just hearing the word 'daddy' made him grab your hair tightly. You smiled as you shifted your position in your seat to go down on him. When you were ready, Spencer stopped at a red light and pulled your face close to his, lips almost ghosting each other.

"You better make daddy feel good then, since you're being such a fucking brat right now." He whispered as you continued to slowly stroke him again.

You couldn't even react to what he said because once the light turned green, he guided your head down to his cock before letting the tightness on your head go and letting his hand rest on top. You decided to egg on your bratty-ness by teasing the tip, giving him kitty licks at first and then slowly just running your tongue in it, licking up the pre cum.

Spencer tightens his grip again, making you whimper. "I'm not sure doing that is a good idea, angel. Do you want to get punished once we're there?"

You shook your head no, but the thought of him punishing you made you feel yourself drip between your thighs.

Spencer moves his grip from your hair and slaps your ass with a huge SMACK, which made you moan loudly.  "You have to use your words, angel. Unless you want to be a little slut tonight."

You look up at him to see his eyes were still on the road. You smirk as you pump him a few times before taking his head in your mouth. You bob up and down slowly, hearing him grunt and curse under his breath. You step it up by going down a little lower, each time going back up and then going lower until you had all of him in your mouth. You stayed like that for a few moments, gagging on it.

"Oh fuuuck that's it...that's it baby, take my cock in your mouth, just like that." He says before pulling you off to let you breathe. He's quiet for a moment before he says, "Now I'm going to guide you, angel. You're gonna make daddy feel more good than he already was, got it?"

"Yes, daddy." you answer, knowing that he wanted to hear you say again.

He pushes your head back on his cock, moving you head faster than before. He couldn't get enough it, making you gag every so often and pulling you back up. Spencer's cock twitched in your mouth and you knew he was close. He controls your head faster, his rhythm getting sloppy.

"You want me to cum in that pretty mouth of yours, angel? You want daddy's cum?" He growled, trying not to thrust into your mouth as he continues to drive.

"Mhmm!" You moan, which almost made him go over the edge.

"Keep doing that for daddy, moan for me. God, I bet you just love having my cock in your mouth, but I'm sure you're just desperate for my cum."

You moan again. That you were. You wanted his cum so bad in your mouth so you could taste him; taste how good you made him feel.

"Don't...fuck...don't stop doing that, angel...that's it...fuck I'm gonna cum..."

And with that, you feel his cum shoot inside your mouth, letting out moans and cursing. You slowly continued to suck him, getting every last drop. When you did, you move up to face Spencer as he pulled over, showing his cum in your mouth at first and then closing your mouth to swallow and open back up to show him it was gone. The look in his eyes told you that that was the hottest thing he's ever seen.

Spencer pulls you in surprisingly and attacks your lips with his, as if he was hungry for them. He was almost eating your face but you didn't care, you kissed him back and let your tongues play with one another. You both pull away after a bit and he just looks into your eyes. You look into his hazel eyes and felt complete.

"Now, will you stop being a brat and get some sleep?" He asks.

You giggle as you quickly look at the time in the car radio. "It's 3:15," you said, "it's my turn to drive."

"But now you're all tired from pleasing daddy," he jokes, "so you get some sleep, and I'll drive. I really don't mind it. Honest."

"Are you sure?"

Spencer nods his head. You decided to give in and get comfy in your seat.

"Goodnight, Spence." You say as you move the top part of the seat all the way back. You grabbed your traveling pillow and placed it on top of your right arm, laying your head as you turned your body to face away from him.

"Goodnight, angel."

[acephysicskarkat]

Duet

I was just packing up from practicing in my garage when Rosetta shot bolt upright.

Rosetta’s my dragon.  She’s mostly a blue, but there aren’t any blue breeds that are crestbacks, so there’s definitely some other stuff in there.  Her crest is also malformed, so it flops over to the right all the time instead of standing straight up like crests are supposed to.  When I got my undercut, I made sure it flopped over to the right as well, so we matched.  She seems to appreciate the ‘do when she’s riding on my shoulder.

Anyway, Rosetta’s awesome. Smarter than some people I’ve met, although to be fair I’ve met some really dumb people.  Also, I’ve managed to teach her to play the drums.  Some dragons have an amazing sense of music.

In this case, though, she’d apparently heard something in the bushes – yes, even though we’d both just been rocking out for the last twenty minutes.  I don’t know how her ears work.  I put down my electric guitar and went to have a look…

…and found a white dragon.

I looked up a lot of dragon breeds when I was a kid and obsessed with them, so I recognised him as a purebred at once.  Specifically, he was a seraph – a rare and very expensive featherwing breed, with a long, wavy feather sticking out the back of his head like a ponytail.

“Hey there, little guy,” I said, keeping my voice gentle and sing-song – at least, as far as I could. “Someone’s gotta be missing you. Come on, I’m not gonna hurt you…”

Cold fangs nipped at my fingers, but after a few moments, the newcomer seemed to decide I could be trusted.  A heart-shaped tag on a simple but expensive-looking collar told me that this was Ludwig, and gave an address.  Needless to say, it was on the rich side of town; if you lived anywhere else, getting a seraph would probably leave you in a cardboard box.

“You up for a trip, little buddy?” I said, and  Ludwig hopped up onto my wrist.  “Great. Let’s go find your owner.”

***

The house Ludwig’s collar pointed me at wasn’t the biggest in the district, but since my house is basically six rooms including the garage, which doesn’t even have a car in it, it still made my place look like a shoebox.  And here I was carrying a dragon probably worth as much as a car.

Some low, shitty part of me whispered that I should just run away and sell the thing, but I felt the comforting weight of Rosetta on my shoulder and shut that thought down.  I knew how I’d feel if Rosetta went missing. I wasn’t going to inflict that on anyone, not even for a big sack of money.

I was just about to knock on the door when it swung open and all my brain’s resources were assigned to Being Gay simultaneously.

She was gorgeous. Blue eyes, a tight ponytail of night-dark hair, wearing a tailored shirt and elegant pants, carrying a handbag that probably cost more than anything I’d ever owned and holding a bundle of Missing Dragon posters with Ludwig’s picture on them and the legend “IF FOUND, CALL GWYNEIRA” and a number I couldn’t quite make out.  Standing there in my leather jacket, pride pins on full display, an old skirt, hand-repaired glasses and big, tough boots, I felt like a nail driven into a classical painting.  I had no business being here and I knew it.

After a frozen second, her face broke into a smile.  “You found him!  Thank you so much!”

“Uh.”  My brain whirred for a few agonisingly slow seconds, and then some parts of it kicked into gear.  “He was hanging around my garage.  Must have heard my music and thought it sounded interesting.”

“Oh, a fellow musician!” she said.  “What instrument, pray tell?”

“Well, I dabbled when I was a kid, but these days I mostly stick with the axe.”

“Axe?  You mean a weapon?”

“No, I mean an electric-” A stray neuron sparked back to life. “You’re messing with me, aren’t you?”

She gave a too-innocent wide-eyed look and then started laughing.  After a few moments, I did too.

She reached out, and Ludwig hopped across from my wrist to hers.  She waggled a finger under the dragon’s snub little nose and said, “I hope you won’t be pulling any more disappearing acts, Ludwig.”  Ludwig gave a smug, catlike smile and hopped up to her shoulder, and she turned back to me, reaching into her bag.  “I didn’t have time to put the posters up, but I was planning to give a reward for finding him-”

Take the money, Vetra, you dumbass, the parts of my brain that were functioning said.  Your amp is so old it was designed for the mandolin. Take the money, stick it in a jar, and when you have enough money, buy an amp that isn’t held together with baling twine.

Then my mouth, operating entirely independently from those parts, said, “Don’t worry about it.”

“Are you sure?”  When my treacherous head nodded, she said, “Then at least allow me to buy you dinner.”

***

I was crammed into the only halfway decent dress I owned and had eaten something about half the size of an actual proper meal, but somehow I was still having a great time.

“So then we found the drummer hanging from the tree, in his underwear, rope around his ankle, and all he had to say when we let him down was, ‘I hate chipmunks.’”  Gwyneira choked back a laugh, and I shook my head.  “The band didn’t last long after that, although the bass player still crashes on my couch when he’s in town.”

“Such an…adventurous lifestyle,” she said, and sipped her wine.  

“But I’ve probably rambled long enough.”  I stabbed what I had been assured was the correct fork into a too-small morsel of chicken and said, “You said you were a musician, but you haven’t even told me what instrument.”

“Oh, how rude of me.” She cut a slice off…well, I don’t speak French, so whatever it was she was eating, and said, “I’m a violinist.”

“Huh.  Just as a hobby, or-”

“Professionally.”  She adjusted the cuffs on her suit, an outfit choice that was just deeply unfair.  “Have you ever studied much classical music?”

Show her how smart you are.  “Tell the truth, uh…I never really got into it.  I like my music with a bit more impact to it, you know?”  I mimed shredding on the air guitar.  Nailed it.

“I think I can show you plenty of impact,” she said, her delicate features arranged into a cocky smirk. “Come to my place tomorrow afternoon, and bring your…‘axe’.”

***

Rosetta took a deep breath and spat lightning into the amplifier.  For some reason, dragon thunder-breath doesn’t just charge a battery; it keeps it charging.  I scratched her behind the ear, and she grinned up at me, then spread her wings and soared over to the drums.

Ludwig raised his head from the piano, and Gwyneira started to play.

Notes didn’t fall from the violin; they rose, soaring into the air like birdsong.  Her voice, just as high and pure, mingled with it, underscored but never challenged by the slow, measured notes of Ludwig on the piano.

It was beautiful, but I wasn’t just here to listen.

I was here to play.

As the notes from the violin started to die away, I flicked my plectrum between my fingers like an old-time riverboat hustler playing with a coin.  Rosetta chose the tempo, her bunched-up claws striking the drums, a drumstick wrapped in her tail striking a cymbal, and my axe sang as I began: not the high, pure note of birdsong, but the howl of an iron wolf.

After a few bars, the piano started up again, but without its previous dignity and reserve.  Ludwig, apparently, relished the chance to cut loose a bit.  His claws struck the keys with speed rather than precision, keeping up with the beat of the drum and the snarl of the electric guitar, mixing in the occasional, perfectly timed glissando.

Then the violin’s song started up again.

Gwyneira’s eyes were closed, but she was keeping up with the much faster tempo like she was born to it, her bow dancing over the strings.  Her violin and my guitar weaved notes around each other, twining together like the tails of dragons in love.  It was like we were instinctively opening spaces for the other to slip into, letting the instruments work together rather than battle for dominance.

It was the kind of jam session you usually only get once in a lifetime.

***

Anyway, that’s how I met my girlfriend.

I own some nicer clothes, now.  I speak a little French.  And, you know, I’m starting to get along with classical music.  I mean, give me the faster ones any day – you should hear my cover of Rondo Alla Turca on the electric guitar, it’ll knock your socks off – but, you know, we meet halfway.

And I mean halfway.  Gwyneira looks like a goddess in anything, but when she’s let her hair out of its ponytail?  When she’s at a rock concert, just letting it all out, headbanging along? It’s amazing.  She’s amazing.

There have been challenges – you try finding good homes for an entire clutch of half-seraph, half-mongrel dragon hatchlings sometime – but we’re going pretty damn well.  She’s even talked about starting a proper band – weaving classical and rock together.

And if that never comes to pass?  If we can’t get a gig or find a good rhythm guitar?  At least we can still jam together.

[cookie-earning-things]

I’m not gonna get too publicly involved with my own hot takes (I generally try not to) but as a queer fan I feel I should throw my own thoughts on the table...

I’m thrilled to have Ash in on the team. Yes the timing was poor, yes it would have been better to wait like Olan wanted and focus on family; yes Little Cato can is gay; yes it was jarring because the material is still sorta “lol just good friends” (I know Ash blushes, but trust me that is still not enough for some people)...

My first worry is the sort of pattern we see that is a flaw in this show: little to no *or stilted character development for supporting characters.* This smells like an executive and straight writer move, even if any queer folks were involved. Evra is adorable and an absolute personality right off the bat, and don’t get me started on the genderqueer vibes! But will we get more than that?

This season is already jam packed and we know next season, which is still only being placed on the table, is Ventrexia focused. Fox was a passionate personality, but only very on-the-surface and shallow. Ash had a point: no one but her knew her brother. We got vague crumbs.

Same thing with Quinn’s sister. While that was such a powerful episode, and something I hope to touch base on more and see insight on, I admit my hopes are small on a deeper dive. We already missed the big chance with this episode — Quinn and Ash or circling around the Nightfall topic; they both suffer a loss from a sibling only they really knew in a super dysfunctional family with unrealistic expectations placed on them; Nightfall, a branch of Quinn, was the first on the team squad to really get THROUGH to Ash!! Why wasn’t this utilized?? Quinn shoves the comfort on to Avocato and we get that terrific scene and...an unfitting subplot that, while delightful, was absolutely off beat and off tone with everything going on. Quinn jacked a hawk and went against an entire organisation she trusted in to the point of self-delusion. There’s a connection that’s unmistakeable between her and Ash...you’re telling me my girl is really gonna sit back and stare out a window? I see her as the type to bury herself in doing to avoid crises...her mom raised her that way. But we don’t get that. Even with some sweet rep, we miss out on something that, with everything going on, I think would have been more powerful and on tone.

This show promises big but delivers for select few characters. Even Little Cato, who has been spotlighted and through some serious stuff, still has things pushed off to the side and no re-visitation. (Or so little and shoved in it can be jarring)

I don’t know. It just seems like a lot is left to tell not show and that it rides on fan interpretation...and then just kind of doesn’t fly with it 90% of the time.

I love this show. I’ve gotten two of my different friend groups involved - we’ve bought merch, started doing role play and fic writing and AU discussions...I’m branching off with my own comic ideas and even thinking of trying an animatic,,,I haven’t had this passion for a creative work in a long, long time. It even inspired me to be an artist again, after a FIVE YEAR HIATUS. That said, I don’t know what’s happening in the writers room, but there’s so much material to work with and darning the tears might be a bit better than fleshing out a whole new pair of pants at the moment.

*edited because for ex with Gary like the developments are HUGE but it’s the sun vs earth being center of the universe things. Jesus, Nova.

[stanharu]

beastars season 2 episode 2 thoughts!

im gonna talk about manga spoilers under the cut so be warned.

i thought it was a good episode overall, though i was a bit surprised at the amount of new stuff added. i really liked the scene with rokume, her voice acting was superb!

i like that the anime is trying to draw out more of the “murder mystery” aspect of this arc by showing legosi actually try to get info on tem up until his murder. many ppl have brought up how in the manga legosi just kinda solves the murder and the readers aren’t really given the chance to draw their own conclusions first, so i think this was a good addition. and tem writing about riz in his diary was a nice little detail!

the whole kangaroo bit was really funny, i think legosi literally sniffing out that he was the school’s gym clothes thief was sposed to be another hint at how good legosi’s nose is.

at the moment, i dont think the anime original scenes are bad. i think they do help improve some of the weaker parts of the story at least a little. but with how jam packed with big events this arc is, i am a little worried about how the pacing may be later in the season, or if there’ll be a lotta things cut for time. so i can’t say definitively if the anime original scenes are an improvement to the story until the season ends and i can look back on them. fingers crossed that orange studio knows what they’re doing tho.

ok so, onto louis.

sadly, louis only showed up at the end of the ep, and they didnt do the flashback to how he became shishigumi’s boss yet, but i suspect it’ll be in the next ep.

im also sad that they didnt do the Boss Louis reveal the way it is in the manga, but i actually like the way the anime chose to do it. it was very drawn out and dramatic lol. plus the music and louis’ voice acting were great. and i like the 3d models for the lions and ibukis voice is really good!! 

the scene was just super good!! i feel like orange studio really tried to make all of louis’ movements really sexy lmao. that whole scene had me like😳😳😳 

look at him do a gay little sit.

not to mention the shots of him in the car were really pretty.

as for the ending. its beautifully animated and filled with symbolism about ibuki and louis’ relationship as well as a lotta hints to chapters 91/92. it makes me rly emotional to watch 😭 i love it a lot. i cant wait for the full version of the song to come out. what’s interesting to me is that the story that the song is based on is written from louis’ pov, but the song/ed seems to be from ibuki’s pov. its like it’s an answer to louis’ thoughts.

 im excited for pina next week!! yuki kaji!!!!!!!!

[jaehyunspeachparty]

5. Sunoh’s Birthday

"Ok that was good Hyunjin. I think we have it for today." Para leaned back in the chair and waved Hyunjin out of the recording studio. "It's 3 am by now," said Hyunjin and laughed. "Yes, we should go home. Tomorrow we have to record Pink Rose new album." Para turned to Sunoh, who nodded. "It's a lot of work to make a comeback for both groups," said Sunoh, packing up his things. "Yes, I hope if you are also the main producer that the work becomes less." Para winked at his colleague and patted him on the shoulder encouragingly. Sunoh had a fixed contract with SM for a few days and Para is now training him further. "Okay, you two can go, I'll close the studio." Para smiled and Sunoh and Hyunjin made their way home. "Shall I drive you to your dorm?" Sunoh asked the idol. "Isn't it a detour?", Hyunjin then asked. "Oh, we haven't seen each other that often because of work, but I live in town now." "Do you live with Chichi now?" Hyunjin looked happily at Sunoh, who nodded. "Yes. We took the next step and I finally love to be alone with her." "And where exactly do you live?", Hyunjin asked more because he got the last weeks hardly time for him. Sunoh paused for a moment, it was still difficult for him to talk to him about Miga. He and Hyunjin had become very good friends, but his sister was an issue that both tried to ignore. "We live in the same house where Miga lives." Sunoh looked carefully at his friend, who stared into the void briefly and swallowed. But then he turned to Sunoh and nodded. "It's a beautiful area." It became quiet again between the two of them. The two went to the car and Sunoh drove off slowly. It was still quiet, but more from tiredness. But before he dropped Hyunjin, he turned to him. "Hey, I'm celebrating my birthday on Saturday. There are only a few friends coming and I want to show you all the new apartment. I would like you to come too." Sunoh looked seriously at his friend who hesitated. Hyunjin played with his fingers and looked at them. "Will Miga come too?" He asked carefully. "Yes, she is my sister and like a best friend to me. I still don't know what went wrong, but you are one of my closest friends. You are one of the closest friends of Kiwoo and Geon, they will come too. You don't have to talk to her, but we'd be happy if we could spend time together again." Sunoh looked so mature at this moment, and Hyunjin, who was four years older, had to admit that he was childish. "I miss the time with you," Hyunjin confessed and laughed. He, Sunoh, and the twins had good chemistry with each other and did a lot together. "We miss you too. So come to my party." Sunoh laughed and Hyunjin nodded before getting out of the car.

Sunoh didn't have far to go home. He parked in the garage, took the elevator up to his apartment and as fast as he could he went to bed where Chichi slept. She slept on the side and he didn't really want to wake her up, but he wanted to feel her in his arms. The last few days he hardly saw her, he was only in the recording studio. He missed her every day, every hour, every minute, every second. "Hey ..." She turned to the side when she felt his arm around her body. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." Sunoh stroked her black hair and looked at her with a smile. "No, I want to be awake. I hardly see you." Her large dark eyes met his and he stared at her lips, ready to kiss her the next moment. "I miss you so much," he whispers, stroking her cheek. "I miss you too." Chichi got a little wistful and it pained her to have him so hardly with her. "I'll have the weekend off, then we have more time together. By the way, Hyunjin is coming to the party too." Sunoh had complained several times that he missed the time with his friend. "Really? Does he know that Miga is coming?" She asked carefully. "Yes. But they both have to go through this now." Sunoh sighed and rested his head on Chichi's chest. "Hmm ... maybe it's a good thing." She starts stroking his head and Sunoh fell asleep immediately. He could only let himself fall with her, only forget his worries with her and that is why he fell asleep so peacefully on her.

The next morning Sunoh had to go back to the studio early in the morning. Today they continued with Pink Rose's album and so there was a lot to do. Para was recording while Misun waited for her turn. She was supposed to be practicing her lines, but she stared at Sunoh. "It's your birthday on the weekend, isn't it? Do you already have plans?", Misun suddenly asked. Sunoh was very surprised and looked at her. "Yes, my parents and my siblings will come over." Sunoh wanted to continue, but Para got in the way. "Aren't you celebrating?" He asked and laughed. "Yes. In the evening a couple of friends will come by", Sunoh said and thought nothing more. "And we're not invited?" Misun suddenly asked. "It's really just a small celebration and my siblings are there too." Sunoh wanted to avert it and distract from the subject, when Para suddenly widened his eyes. "That means Miga is there too?" "Well, she's my sister and she also lives in the same house." Sunoh didn't quite know what this was going to mean. But Para bit his lip and then patted his thigh. "Okay, we're coming." "What?" Sunoh didn't know his way around and looked surprised at his boss. "Should we take something to the party?" He asked and Sunoh couldn't tell his boss that he wasn't invited. "No, everything is fine." Sunoh sighed and wonders how to tell this all Chichi. "It's going to be really funny," Misun said and grinned.

On the day of Sunoh's birthday, the whole family was invited. Geon was the first to arrive, but his mood was not very good. His boyfriend left him a week ago because Geon will soon be in the military. "I didn't think he would leave me because of that." Geon sat on the couch and no longer understood his life. "And then I have to go into the military. Me? As a gay man!" Geon threw his head back and wanted to run away. "It's not that bad," said Sunoh and laughed. "You will survive." He put the plates on the table and got everything ready for brunch. "I always thought I could do that with Kiwoo ..." Geon sighed and looked at the floor. Since Kiwoo was soon an idol, he postponed his military stay. "Even if you had gone to the military together with Kiwoo, you wouldn't end up in the same place anyway. They never put siblings together." Sunoh looked at his brother and of course was a little worried. The military time was tough, it wasn't long since he came back. He constantly missed Chichi and his family. He counted every day that he could go home, but he didn't want to tell this his brother. "I know ..." Geon was so sad and depressed that Chichi hugged him. "It will be all right, Geon," she said with a soft smile and patted his shoulder. The next moment it rings again and Sunoh opened the door. "Happy Birthday little brother!" Miga and Kiwoo were at the door. They were both at SM that morning and drove to the apartment together. "Happy Birthday big brother," Kiwoo said with a laugh and hugged Sunoh. "Geon is already there. He's sitting on the couch and crying", Sunoh said dryly and Geon immediately called him "HEY!" "Oh no, are you still sad?" Miga came over to her little brother and patted his head. "Hey! Kinam broke up just a few days ago. You cried for Jaemin and Hyunjin for ages." Miga didn't want to hear that and just ignored the statement. "Aren't Mum and Dad even there yet?" Asked Kiwoo, surprised. "They should come any second, apparently there was a traffic jam," said Sunoh, preparing the pot full of coffee. "Otherwise Mum is always the first to come to her favorite child," said Kiwoo with a wink and Sunoh rolled his eyes. "I'm not her favorite child." "Oh, it’s true," said Miga with a laugh. "And you're dad's favorite kid," Sunoh hissed back. "Not at all," said Miga, but the twins immediately shook their heads. "But that's clear," said Kiwoo immediately. "He takes special care of you," added Geon. "Yes, but I'm his only daughter too." She shrugged and grinned. Kiwoo was about to say something, but the doorbell rang again. Sunoh opened the door and his parents stood at the door. "All the best my big boy." Y/N immediately fell on his neck and hugged her eldest son tightly. "I say he's the favorite son," Kiwoo whispered to his twin brother, who nodded. "Happy Birthday." Jaehyun went to his son and hugged him tightly. He had just found out that he had got the permanent position as co-producer and he was so incredibly proud of his son. It made him so happy that Miga, Sunoh and Kiwoo were with him in the company and could see them often. Only Geon was the one who would like to study later, but at the time he was the only child living with his parents. "Chichi, how is your foot?", Asked Y/N and stroked her almost daughter-in-law over the back. "It's okay, I still have pain sometimes and I'm barely allowed to move. But it's okay." The girl smiled and Y/N was happy to hear that she was feeling better. "Muummmm, I'm hungry. You're so late and I want to eat", Kiwoo whines and already sat down at the table. "It's okay, everything is ready," said Sunoh and sat down next to Chichi. The whole family had breakfast together and afterwards there were a number of gifts for Sunoh. Most of it was for the apartment, but there were also presents from Johnny, Taeyong, Mark, Winwin, etc. Everyone thought of him, everyone wanted to give him something and Sunoh was really happy that he had so many people around him who loved and liked him. After his mother took care of everything and cleaned up the brunch, Miga cried over guys at Chichi's and Geon and Kiwoo had an unnecessary argument, Sunoh and Jaehyun sat together and drank a beer together. "Hey, I heard you have a fixed contract now." Jaehyun proudly looked at his son and smiled. "Yes, I'm happy about it." Sunoh took a sip of his beer. "I'm really proud of you. You have done so many things better than me," said Jaehyun suddenly and patted his son on the shoulder. "Do I have?" He didn't really know what his father meant by that. "Yes. You take care of your siblings, you have a great job and you have a great relationship. You are good to Chichi and I am sure you will become great parents one day." Jaehyun smiled but Sunoh almost choked on his beer. "Dad, Chichi can't get pregnant. Maybe you and Mum might not mention this to her. She's pretty depressed about it." Sunoh finds these words difficult, but he wanted to be honest with his father. "Yes of course." Jaehyun was a little perplexed, but understood. And Sunoh was glad his father stopped talking about it. The two men were still drinking their beer when Sunoh suddenly confided in his father. "Dad, I have a question." Sunoh was suddenly very shy and Jaehyun was surprised that his son asked him for advice. "Yes?" "Have you ever seen someone around you fall in love with you, but you haven't seen it?" Sunoh then turned to Jaehyun and looked at him uncertainly. "You know how you were born, I was very selfish. I was the only one who was a father in the group and saw how everyone was making a career and I really wanted to do a solo album. My ex-girlfriend wanted to help me and since our relationship was over so long ago, I thought we were just friends. Your mother warned me and saw the real person. But I was so focused on my career that I ignored her. It got so bad that everything even had to go to court .. . " "To court?", Sunoh interrupted his father in shock and Jaehyun nodded. "Be careful and make it clear that you are not interested. That is my advice ..." Jaehyun looked at his son, who nodded. “Thanks Dad”, said Sunoh and smiled.

Y/N and Jaehyun stayed a while and enjoyed the time with their children, but they also knew that Sunoh had a party planned and decided to leave soon. Sangjun, Misook, Jasper and other friends from the past and the military came to the celebration. There shouldn't be too many, but Sunoh hadn't told everyone that Para, Hyunjin and Misun were to come too. Only after everyone was there and the bell rang again did his siblings look at him questioningly. "Anyone else coming?" Asked Geon and looked at the door. "Para and Misun are still coming," Sunoh said quietly, but everyone understood him. "WHAT?" Asked Miga and got up immediately. "And Hyunjin is coming too," he added quickly. "Sunoh, I love you, but Hyunjin and Misun? Do you want to kill me?" Miga was angry and immediately felt uncomfortable. It wasn't exactly the two people she wanted to see today. "Hyunjin is also a friend of mine. Para and Misun invited themselves." Sunoh sighed and looked at his girlfriend. "Why didn't you say anything?" Chichi asked and she had to admit that she was a little surprised. "I was hoping that they might still cancel." However, that was not the case and Misun and Para came into the apartment, closely followed by Hyunjin. "Happy Birthday", Misun squealed and immediately fell into Sunoh's arms. Para just rolled his eyes and went straight into the kitchen. He had an expensive vodka bottle with him and his eyes searched immediately for Miga. "That's all a bit strange, isn't it?" Geon said to Chichi, who just nodded. In the meantime Hyunjin came to them, but Miga got up immediately and looked for his distance. His eyes suddenly turned sad and he looked at the ground. "Hey Hyunjin, haven't seen you in a long time." Kiwoo nudged him lightly with his elbow and laughed. He was clearly already drunk and meant all of this very ironically, as they often saw each other at the company. "You idiot," Hyunjin said with a laugh, messing up his hair. "Heyyy, my hairstyle is important to me," said Kiwoo, trying to straighten his hair again. "Geon, how are you?", asked Hyunjin and Geon immediately begins to tell his whole drama, beginning with the fact that he has to go to the military and that his boyfriend has left him. Miga meanwhile tried several excuses to leave the party early. Misun and Hyunjin were too much of anything. But before she could leave, Para came up to her. "Well Miga, are you okay?" He grinned and leaned casually against the wall. "Yes and with you?" She paid no attention to him, but mixed her drink. "Well, now that I see you, I can only be fine. You look really beautiful today." He looked at her dress and Miga understood immediately. Para looked good, he was really fit, had a bit longer hair, his arms were tattooed, everything about him screamed for “bad boy”. But that wasn't the type she was into. She liked guys like Jaemin or ... she turned to the side ... guys like Hyunjin. "Thank you," she said with a sigh and her gaze searched after Hyunjin's. "You know, your brother and I get along really well, and he really does a good job ..." Para just kept talking, but Miga couldn't concentrate. She was alone and lonely too. She didn't want to feel that any more, she also wanted something Sunoh found in Chichi. She had so much love to give, but no one recognized it. She knew what Para wanted. Maybe he was telling himself he liked her, but in the end he was just waiting to rip the last of the fabric off her body. She was tired of such men. She wanted more than just sex, she wanted to be loved. For the rest of the celebration, Misun tried to spend as much time as possible with Sunoh and Para as much time as possible with Miga. They were like burdock and everyone was annoyed with them. But at some point Sunoh was able to break away from her and spend time with his friends again, but maybe that wasn't so good after all.

"You have a nice apartment there," said Misun, smiling falsely. She stood next to the stool where Chichi was sitting. "T-tha-thanks," she stuttered, visibly intimidated by Misun's personality. "I hope the apartment is written on you," said Misun then and looked around. "Why?", Chichi asked her, not knowing what the other woman was wanting from her. "Well, you know ... Sunoh is handsome, he works with the most beautiful people. It's sweet that he is still together with his school girlfriend. But don't you think he'll want more one day?" Misun leaned over and sipped her drink. "Well, we've been through so much together." Chichi looked down at her hands with bowed shoulders. "You're pretty, but can you really keep up with us idols? Don't you think Sunoh deserves more?" Misun came closer to her and Chichi's heart began to run faster and faster. "Maybe you shouldn't be so selfish and let Sunoh live his life." Misun smiled even wider and Chichi was already crouched on the chair. Her hair covered her face in shame and she felt tears build up. "Hey, are you okay?" Meanwhile, Hyunjin came to the two of them, since he noticed that Chichi was sitting there frightened. He glared at Misun, who just shrugged. "We're just talking." Then she sipped on her drink again and walked away. But Chichi was still sitting there frozen. He knew the girl for a while and knew how insecure she was. "What did she do?" He asked immediately, trying to see her face. But Chichi just shook her head. "Chichi, I know Misun very well and you can trust me." He tried to speak to her, but her delicate body trembled. "I don't want to destroy Sunoh's birthday." She begins to sob softly. Hyunjin looked at Sunoh and saw him talking to Sangjun and Kiwoo. He was so carefree and just having fun. "Would you like to go to the bathroom and we can talk about it?" Hyunjin asked worriedly. Chichi was briefly unsure, but she agreed. She had to talk to someone about it and Hyunjin was often there for her. She trusted him. So he helped her out of the chair and propped her over to the bathroom. He carefully set her down on the bath mat and sat across from her. Chichi didn't speak at first, she just looked into space and arched her body. "Would you like to tell me what Misun said to you?", Hyunjin then asked carefully and looked at her worriedly. Chichi stared into space for a while until she took a deep breath. "Were you jealous of Miga a lot? I mean, she's always surrounded by all the beautiful drama actors." She looked at him and he could see tears on her face. "Well, a little, but there was also the thing with Jaemin ..." Hyunjin sighed and his heart ached as he let it all come back to life. "Misun said that sooner or later Sunoh will leave me because I'm not his league." Chichi started to cry and her little heart was pounding wildly. "Do you really believe that?", Hyunjin asked her more ironically. Because everyone could see how much they loved each other. "Maybe he really deserves someone better than me. What am I? An unsuccessful ballet dancer." Chichi started to sob and Hyunjin immediately took a towel so she can dry herself off. "Why should he want someone else? Sunoh only has eyes for you, he only talks about you. Do you think he would leave you just because of an idol? You have to trust Sunoh more." Hyunjin tried to speak well to her and slowly, so that the girl calmed down a little bit. "You're right. But other women think they can easily outdo me because I'm so inconspicuous. They are so mean and ..." That was when she began to sob again. Chichi never had it easy. There was competition everywhere, everyone wanted Sunoh and thought they could just make Chichi disappear. But before Hyunjin could say anything, the bathroom door opened. Miga came in and saw them both sitting on the floor. "Here you are Chichi. Sunoh is worried." She kneels down to her and sees that the girl is crying. "Has something happened?" Miga then asks worriedly and strokes Chichi's head. "Misun." Hyunjin didn't need to say anything more and Miga understood. "Damn it," cursed Miga, and she got angry at the thought that Misun had hurt Chichi. "She was pretty mean to Chichi. She has to go." Hyunjin was angry too, he knew Misun all too well and knew what she was up to. She has already made life difficult for him too. "How do we get rid of her? She's totally crazy about Sunoh," Miga said with a sigh. "I am not good enough." Suddenly Chichi started crying again and Miga immediately hugged her. "How did you come up with something like that? That's not true at all. You and Sunoh are made for each other." Miga was surprised at her uncertainty, so she hadn't spoken like that for a long time. "No, I ... I can't get pregnant. I'm a failure." Chichi cried and cried and Miga now understood the problem. The two always talked about family at an early age and since Chichi cannot fulfill his wish to become a father, she doesn't feel good enough. "That's not true. Sunoh loves you and I, as his big sister, know that for sure." She smiles gently and brushed the tears from the girl's face. "Can you get Sunoh? And then we try to kick Para and Misun out?" Miga whispered to them. Hyunjin nodded and immediately disappeared from the bathroom. Miga sat down next to Chichi and took her in his arms. She strokes them and tries to calm them down. It wasn't long before Hyunjin returned with Sunoh. "Chichi ..." He immediately ran to her and took her in his arms. "Sunoh I'm sorry." She started to cry again and Sunoh didn't quite know what was going on. "We're going to break up the party, okay?", Miga said with a smile and Sunoh just nodded, because his focus is only on Chichi. As Hyunjin and his sister leave the bathroom, Sunoh tries to understand the situation. Chichi opens up to him totally and told him everything Misun and that she still feels guilty about not being able to get pregnant.

The rest of the celebration didn't last long after Misun and Para were gone. Soon everyone left and Hyunjin and Miga were the last to leave the party. "I'll bring you home," said Hyunjin and looked at Miga. "I only live a few floors away," she said with a smile. Hyunjin shrugged. "It’s okay." And Miga couldn't say much about it. So the two of them went off and took the elevator to the floor of her apartment. "Thank you for helping Chichi," Miga then said and smiled gently. Her heart softened and she didn't know at the moment whether she missed Hyunjin or just physical closeness. "She's so pure. We just have to protect her," said Hyunjin with a laugh and Miga could only agree. "I think that's what Sunoh likes about her. He has always been her savior." She giggles and put the code in her door. "Miga?", Hyunjin suddenly asked and he got serious. "Hmm?" Her eyes were still on the number, but then she turned to him. And that's when Hyunjin kissed her. He pressed her body against the door frame and he put his hands to her face. His lips were tight against hers and Miga's fingers clutched his chest. She didn't know if that was a good idea. But she knew tha she didn't want to be alone that night.

new generation masterlist

masterlist

[somestansomewhere]

hi! 22 and 24 for the ask game :)

Hey Kait!! 😊

22. Favorite Episode

Okay so hands down, no question, 3x05 “The sins of my Caretaker”! I think that episode, besides the Pilot, really incapsulates what a typical episode of Shameless is (and should be). Everyone always talks about the last five minutes of this episode because it is so jam packed and amazing! I think the episode really nails the comedy/drama aspect of the show too. Each character has a really good storyline that is super relevant to them [ie: Ian&Mick robbing the house/first kiss, Frank having to dig up the backyard (I’m a sucker for any episode Aunt Ginger related idk why), Fiona’s fight with Jimmy, Shelia with the nun (LOL), Debbie at the pool, plus more]. There’s so many great individual scenes too (Lip calling Karen, like I could go on and on)! I’ve probably rewatched this episode more than any of them, I just love it so much!

24. Least Favorite Season

Ight so I go back and forth between season eight and season ten. Weighing the pros and cons: In s8 the first three episodes are some of my favorite (especially 8x03), and the stuff with Lip this season is also some of the best (Youens), however the rest of the season just goes down hill for me. Not a fan of gay Jesus, and Ford, just bad (or poorly executed) storylines that were the shell of what shameless used to be (no Mick either). For s10, there’s no Fiona. I think when the season was initially airing, I was so hyped up for Mickey’s return that while I was watching it I was enjoying it a lot, however each time I revisit it, I don’t think it’s at the caliber that the other seasons are. I did really enjoy the Gallavich stuff and Frank’s plot (Faye was different from his other “love” interests, the scams he did with Mikey we hadn’t seen before). I consider a good season to be filled with laughter and tears, s8 definitely had its moments, and with s10: Lip relapsing, and Ian with his promise rings totally did me in. I don’t dislike these seasons, I love them, but I do have issues with both. I could get more into it but I’ll spare ya! lol

[reyesstrand]

They cut Tarlos kiss. We barely get a sence for them alone like other characters. Are we getting more sences like the dinner sence from season 1? Why put it in the promo if they'll cut it?

hi anon!

so i briefly talked about this pretty much right after the episode here. but i do think a big issue is that this is an ensemble show and they don’t really know how to balance the storylines. i’m likely going to be forever bitter/burned/hurt by the fact that they cut those scenes they so heavily and shamelessly promoted. queerbaiting is a serious thing and it especially hurts when you’re part of the lgbtqia audience and you’ve seen this basically your entire life.

but! i am holding out hope, if only because this show is a huge comfort to me, and ronen and rafa genuinely seem so excited about what they’ve filmed so far—and they’ve only completed five episodes, which is of course hard to remember in the moment that we’re watching the show. we have such a jam-packed season opener: the introduction of tommy and gwyn, establishing where they’re at with the pandemic which moves directly into the volcano emergency next week, which will likely bleed directly into the crossover. of course i’m expecting to see smaller moments for tarlos, but i’m thinking we’ll get more substantial scenes that play into their development after 2x03.

it’s inexcusable that they cut scenes they used for promotion, especially with their canon gay couple that they did this to last season. but i’m trying really really hard to be cautiously optimistic, because i love this ensemble and tarlos means so much to so many of us. and deep down i trust that while they don’t have any control in promos and editing, rafa and ronen wouldn’t knowingly trick us, and so if there’s stuff they’re excited about us seeing, i’m trying to have hope in that.

[pastelpressmachine]

Never Have I Ever...seen a show like that. Or have I?

April 27th was the premiere of Never Have I Ever, a teen coming-of-age dramedy, following the experiences and struggles of a Indian-American high school girl named Devi Vishwakumar. It was created by Mindy Kaling (The Office, The Mindy Project, Champions, Late Night) and Lang Fisher (The Mindy Project, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Onion News Network), as an unprecedented series that offered a narrative we hadn’t seen before. I, myself, was excited because I am an Indian-American woman who has navigated deep discomfort and confusion with my identity, both in high school and even today at the age of 25. To have something representing us and enlightening audiences at the same time was incredibly important to me, and it’s what has been at the center of so much of my own education, work, and artistic creations.

I wanted to see something that empowered and gave visibility to young girls of South Asian descent, and a lot of us look to Mindy Kaling to do that. Although she has expressed in an interview that she never saw herself as the voice for South Asian women (and isn’t deeply rooted in South Indian/Hindu culture) and it’s an interesting position to be placed in when her white male counterparts aren’t expected to carry an entire ethnic group/gender’s experience on their back and make sure they execute it well. Unfortunately, though, that is the reality in our time of limited representation.

I am often told to be excited I have Lilly Singh on late night television and Mindy Kaling writing comedy shows and films and Jameela Jamil being so outspoken as a badass feminist. Sometimes, I feel pressured to support them, like I should be grateful more than critical, because I don’t have much to begin with when it comes to seeing myself in the media. But I don’t have to love and support content that comes from someone who shares my ethnicity, simply by default, nor do I think any creator or public figure is above critique. I would never bash these women, but I can express disappointment and disagreement, as a viewer and as a member of the communities they claim to be telling stories of or representing. And they could be representative for many! Some women adore them and praise them, for their own reasons. I don’t always feel that way, for my own reasons too. Maybe this wasn’t supposed to be representative, and Mindy Kaling only made something she wanted to see when she was younger. And if in the roulette of relatability, someone seems to share something with the story or its characters, those viewers defend and praise the show, which is fine, but isn’t the case for me and likely many others who might feel uncomfortable even expressing disappointment or dissatisfaction with the work of someone who is, as mentioned, given this powerful position as the South Asian-American voice in comedic television and film. I know there are a lot of Devis out there, but I don’t think we needed another show jam-packed with so many stereotypes and so little dimension and then felt like we couldn’t critique it because it came from “one of our own”. Since when did desi women decide not to be critical? At least do it in the moments where it’s justified.

What I’m saying is anything condemning me for my review would be unfair. I respect Mindy Kaling. I think she is an authentic writer who knows how to colorfully and humorously depict her experiences. She is a body-positive, generally upbeat public personality. At the same time, I can be critical of how all of her lead and many supporting characters and her writing involve appealing to if not outright chasing a conventionally attractive white male love interest. There are a lot of sassy black women with quippy one-liners, a dumb white goofball or jock, and a stereotypical gay token character in her work, from the nurses in The Mindy Project to the employees at the gym in Champions.  A lot of her jokes are fatphobic or self deprecating, at her expense or other plus-sized people. That pattern and repeated formula, coming from both her, and Hollywood in general, got tiring very quickly, not to mention disappointing in a way that made it hard to see her the same after she did it more than once or twice. I began wondering if she was someone I trusted or admired in creating something that told South Asian stories. Like I said, maybe it’s just her story multiple times. And writing what you know is a basic rule of thumb in screenwriting, so maybe that explains the redundancy.

Nevertheless, I was excited when I first heard of this project. Exactly one year ago, friends began telling me about a tweet that was circulating for open-call casting for a new coming-of-age tale that centered on an Indian-American girl. I’m not an actor, so I didn’t end up filming or submitting an audition, but I did sign up for the email with the audition information (lines for the video submission, characters, etc.). Anyone who knows me knows I care immensely about desi representation and empowering, authentic storytelling. So I looked into it. 

A year later, I had forgotten about that excitement I felt because so much had happened (graduation, career moves, moving across the country, the goddamn pandemic). And then a TikTok ad of a trio of diverse women of colour popped up this past Monday. #NeverHaveIEver was streaming now, and it took a minute for my brain to buffer and realize this was show from that email! The whole thing had been produced fully and was now available to watch. Wow, that had happened so fast and now arrived with such perfect timing. We needed this in quarantine.

I watched episode 1 the day the show aired on Netflix, and I was hopeful and eager (even if I am tired of Riverdalean casting). But I was quickly let down. In a way that angered me as well. I felt embarrassed, like someone just clowned on me. I’ll elaborate, but after seeing most of that first episode, I was put off and hurt. Why did I expect something different, but also why did a South Asian creator say she didn’t ask to be a representative voice and then make something with so many stereotypes under the guise of creating something for women of colour, specifically (but not limited to) those part of the desi diaspora?

I’ll break down each episode (with some spoilers, so be warned) and my thoughts. I honestly decided I hated the whole show after I struggled to get through the pilot. I was so angry that I let myself get excited about seeing something that wasn’t going to be whitewashed or something a white person who maybe talked to a handful of their Indian friends wrote. I live tweeted my commentary over the next two days, as I finished the series, and received DMs from other Indian women who follow me on Instagram, who had varying views — some agreeing with me completely, some saying it wasn’t that bad and to give it a chance. What we all had in common was that we wanted to have dialogue about the show. I was all for it, and I knew I needed to finish the show before I really solidified my thoughts on it. And it wouldn’t be helpful to attack or resent anyone for truly liking the show. I think I was mad because I expected something different and better than what I saw, and though I wasn’t entitled to seeing exactly what I wanted, I was still allowed to be bummed out and irritated about some plot points, dialogue, and characters.

It wasn’t looking too good for more than half the first season, and below I’ve elaborated on some of my disgruntled tweets. I did only watch the show one time through, and it is very likely my perception would change with the whole story arc in mind, but just like with a screening audience, you only get the first time through for genuine reactions. Here are mine:

Before watching, I tweeted: “like a year ago, i was encouraged to submit an audition for devi or her older sister (assuming, Kamala was the older sister) and it’s so crazy to see the thing you didn’t do (i don’t act, a friend just knew i yell about representation a lot) become your top recommendation. v exciting, unprecedented content!”

PILOT

About ten minutes into it, I felt kind of lame for how excited I got because it was cringey some of its acting, unnatural dialogue, and the narrator being a random white man (tennis legend John McEnroe; this is somewhat explained later, I guess, but remains largely out of place). I thought some of the acting/writing was intentionally weird and bad and forced, like a characteristically exaggerated SNL skit, but it was genuinely how characters in the show spoke. I was watching alone, thankfully, because I think would have sank into my seat if my friends saw how hype I had previously gotten and then forced them to watch so embarrassing with me.

Even if most of the cast is pretty far from being a 15 or 16 old high school student (but not as far as most other teen shows), I can appreciate how mindful the casting was in terms of maintaining the integrity of the characters’ ethnic identities. Devi is played by 18-year-old Tamil Canadian actress and newcomer Maitreyi Ramakrishnan. She is an over-achiever who plays the harp and is involved in a handful of (non-athletic) clubs at school. She has only two friends, who are also socially inept nerds and also girls of colour. Fabiola (played by 20-year old Lee Rodriguez) is Afro-Latinx, wears exclusively men’s polos, and loves science and technology. Eleanor (played by 21-year-old Ramona Young) is an East Asian-American aspiring theatre actress, who is as loud and dramatic, as her outfit choices. They are outcasts with distinct interests. You get that pretty clearly.

Paxton Hall-Yoshida (played by 29-year-old Darren Barnet) is Devi’s love interest — a jock who is not the brightest kid in school and ends up repeating the history class he shares with Devi. His friend group has apathetic-stoner-cool guy energy, so you know, all the stereotypes are in order. He is, as predicted, a white passing, traditionally attractive dudebro. But he is also actually part-Japanese, which was a creative decision added to the character after Barnet’s audition, during which Mindy Kaling found out he speaks/is part-Japanese. So, that’s new, but for the most part, the same formula of high school dynamics is there with some try-hard attempts at diversity.

Devi experiences some intense trauma a few months prior to when the story begins, and then in a somewhat unrelated incident, is struck with leg paralysis. That only contributes to her identity as a social pariah, as the unfortunate recipient of ableist jokes. For whatever reason, while checking out Paxton’s hot body, she stands up out of her wheelchair and can walk again. This is weird and never explained. Did Paxton’s sheer attractiveness somehow work its magic and allow her to regain feeling in her legs? Could the writers maybe have explored her disability more and even allowed this to be a story of how she processed trauma/her immobility while being in love and handling high school? That would’ve been a story we have never seen before, something worth exploring and developing. But the paralysis just stops. I would say don’t even bring a disability into this if you don’t know what to do with it and are just trying to throw something interesting into your story. That’s irresponsible writing.

I very quickly assumed, based on the fact that Fabiola’s character deliberately is shown as someone who doesn’t wear makeup, have any interest in girly things, doesn’t know how to acknowledge cute boys, and dresses like a Best Buy employee, that she’s a closeted lesbian, and part of the show will be about her coming out. Lesbians can’t ever look or act like anything else, can they? And the overtly effeminate closeted gay kid, Jonah, whose first lines are literally “omg where’d you get that outfit? I’m gagged”...he becomes the group gay best friend who also is yet to come out...the absolute lack of subtlety and nuance received one of many tense sighs from me.

Kamala (played by Richa Moorjani) is Devi’s beautiful cousin who receives kindness from strangers and double takes from passersby. Originally from India, as indicated by the Bay Area native actress’s endearing endearing accent, Kamala is studying abroad in pursuit of her PhD at Caltech, which is why she stays with Devi and her mother, Nalini (played by Poorna Jagannathan) in their Sherman Oaks home. She is a career driven woman who is not enthused by the idea of her arranged marriage set-up, which requires her to hide her opinions and passions, a very real source of conflict many South Asian women face in their 20’s-30’s if they come from traditional families. Because she’s a secondary character to the plot operating as a foil to her very flawed, younger cousin, you don’t really get to know Kamala beyond her marriage anxiety, being out of touch with American culture and innocently discovering things like teen slang and Riverdale. (I see you, Netflix.) Nalini is an uptight widowed mother who is just as judgmental, protective, and critical as any stereotypical Indian mom. Unfortunately, Nalini or Kamala do not seem to head towards becoming fully established characters until most of the first season is over.

We also have Ben Gross (played by 20-year-old Jaren Lewinson), the obnoxious son of a hotshot celebrity lawyer, who you know, has to be Jewish, and he makes sure that everyone knows these things about him. He is Devi’s nemesis in all things related to compiling a strong Ivy League college application. He gives off the same grumpy vibe Danny from The Mindy Project does towards Mindy’s character, and I am certain he will be caught in a love triangle with Devi and Paxton, in the exact same way Mindy Lahiri finds herself. The ultimate fantasy, based on Mindy Kaling’s work, is to be a dorky brown girl who has two white men pining over her. I understood her hating her hairy arms and wanting to look like a Kardashian because body image is a real thing young women, of any background, work through, but why do we have to have white love interests. Why does that have to repeatedly be depicted as the ideal endgame for brown women? And specifically in Devi’s case, why is so much of her energy and attention going to boys who disrespect and ignore her altogether?

You can have brown love, you can have mixed love with other people of colour, it doesn’t have to be with a white person every single time. Why was the only desi couple’s romance shown also the one that was cut short by death? Mohan’s character was so loving and present and empathetic, and I feel like audiences are robbed repeatedly throughout this show of many more engaging plot points and storylines.

EPISODE 2

I might be severely out of touch with how sex is approached by teens these days, but the casual propositions and immediate meet ups seem like they were just written to move the story along. The writing feels clunky and almost rushed, and when I think of how quickly this show went from casting call to premiere, maybe it was. 

While Devi is freshening up at Paxton’s house, she runs into Paxton’s adoptive sister, Rebecca (played by 17-year-old Lily D. Moore) who has Down syndrome. Paxton is really protective of her and projects his own shame of people finding out he has a sister with a disability onto Devi. He ends up kicking her out of his house when he finds Devi talking to Rebecca. Again, I think the dynamics could’ve been explored differently and more positively. We really didn’t need to see another sexually awkward Asian girl, a white (or white-passing) jock who lacks empathy and obsesses over public image, or someone with Down syndrome who was bullied for it. I was beyond over the tokenizing of random minorities, like they were just sprinkled across the show for diversity points but not developed meaningfully beyond a few scenes in the entire season.

EPISODE 3

I really can’t stand Devi at this point, and it’s wild to me that the most unlikeable character is the lead, and this isn’t like, in a complicated Bojack Horseman kind of way, where his character has layers and the flaws are meant to be noticed and analyzed and criticized. Maybe that happens later with Devi, but I don’t know if I’m supposed to like her and consider her an underdog we’re all rooting for. Hell, high school me would be bullying her if she was acting like this. She has no redeemable qualities, just a list of extracurriculars and good grades. Her mom hasn’t beat her ass and her friends still tolerate her, and I find myself asking, “WHY?” so often. There’s even a scene where Nalini is thinking of selling Mohan’s old motorcycle to their white neighbour (who looks, as Devi describes, a “discount Matthew McConaughey”), and I worry Nalini too will have a white love interest...also, Devi then yells at her and calls her a “a bitch”, and I’m...appalled. Nalini threatens to beat her, but never does. That is so forbidden and disrespectful, and nothing actually happens to Devi. She just doesn’t get snacks when her friends come over that night...WHAT. You wouldn’t have your phone, snacks, or access to friends for an indefinite amount of time if you just called your mom, loudly and publicly, a bitch.

It gets worse. It will, more than once, get worse.

I had to pause after watching a particularly infuriating scene, and tweeted: “the lead is literally a selfish virgin who resents her friends’ happiness, disrespects her grieving mother, is fatphobic, and told a Jewish classmate she wishes the Nazis would kill him...is this comedy? what an ugly, nasty character to put at the forefront of your show.” Two seconds later, when sent to the principal’s office, she cries, “I’m messed up, I’m just a rude teenager who disrespects her mother.” That morsel of self awareness might’ve been the beginning of a redemption arc, but no, she fumbles so many more times.

Speaking of the principal, and also Devi’s therapist, I noticed that the two black women in Devi’s life who hold positions of power in the school or as doctors aiding Devi in her trauma, are reduced to sassy one liners or being critical/judgmental in their tone (not how principals or therapists should be). The way Principal Grubbs (played by Cocoa Brown) and Dr. Ryan (played by Niecy Nash) were written demonstrated a pretty limited perception of black women and how they speak/support/lead. I was pausing and sighing in disappointment so often at this point, I could not sit through an entire 28 minute episode all the way through. I started to feel like every character of colour was done injustice.

EPISODE 4

This is where it picks up for me a little because it dips into Indian culture a little more, with some accuracy. Devi and her family celebrate Ganesh Puja, a Hindu festival celebrating the arrival of the Lord Ganesha to earth. They pray and they eat, as Devi explains simply to Paxton, when he spots her at school after swimming practice. There is, however, another Indian woman at the event with her, you guessed it, white husband named Ron, who Nalini wants Devi to talk to because he is a college prep counselor known to get his clients into Ivy Leagues.

There’s a scene with Devi’s friend, Harish, that I think is really valuable, and again, another plot point worth exploring that might’ve made the show a lot more interesting and positively impactful. They bonded over how much they hated dressing up and going to these types of events, often mocking their own culture. Harish talks about how he’s changed in college, after seeing how deeply invested and proud his Native American roommate was of his own heritage.

Devi says, “I’m gonna be an atheist, who eats cheeseburgers every day with my white boyfriend”, which I know is supposed to be a joke, but it’s...kind of real, in terms of the characters and life Mindy Kaling keeps depicting to audiences. They’re not proud of or invested in their cultures, they do eat American junk food, and they do have white boyfriends. That’s the joke, but it’s not like she’s ever written an alternative to what white people write, either.

Anyways, in their exchange, Harish makes an important point about how it is an identity to hate being Indian and not like all the cultural aspects of it, it’s just a shitty identity. It puts Devi in her place, and I would’ve liked to even see a show where you focus on someone like Harish who has this revelation because of what he experiences in college and who he meets. The whole show could’ve revolved around reconciling your dual-cultures. Like I said, the high school centric stories are tried and tired, and I wish there was more content on how transformative life after high school and before settling into a career can be. We really didn’t need to see someone continue to be ashamed of their culture and have their entire personality revolve around achieving whiteness. Who’s the target audience for this show? Desi girls who hate themselves? Desi girls who should continue to hate themselves?

Even Ron calls Devi out on not having an identity outside of what every other Indian kid applying to college is doing: scoring high on tests and being involved in a bunch of clubs. She doesn’t want her trauma to define her and be reduced to a college essay, which is valid, but there is literally nothing else going on. She is not interesting or kind, so...

I would’ve loved to see someone enjoying their culture and being an example of someone who doesn’t want to pick between being Indian or American, and that’s what the conflict is, not this rejection of the brown part, where they constantly clown on themselves while in pursuit of a Chad, Brad, or Paxton. If your viewership was thousands of 15 year old Indian-American girls, what are you selling them?

I thought this was becoming my favourite episode, but it got tone deaf again. Nalini offers to give the Hindu pandit a ride, and she says it would’ve been wrong not to because the pandit taking an Uber is like “Modi on Postmates”. This is equating a spiritual or religious community leader (what a priest is to Christianity, rabbi to Judaism, for example) to the current Prime Minister of India, who is a notorious Hindu nationalist proposing the genocide of anyone who isn’t Hindu or converts to Hinduism. Whether the writers of this show are pro-Modi or simply didn’t do their research on the figure, it was a massive red flag to hear Nalini say that.

EPISODE 5

Devi continues to not only objectify Paxton but spreads a rumour about having sex with him and then gaslights him when he clocks her for it by telling him it spread indirectly (because she didn’t correct her friends for thinking so) and that he’s being dramatic when he is rightfully upset...? It’s not empowering or the change in representation I want to see when it’s an Indian girl doing what shitty white men often get away with. That’s messed up no matter who does it. And all the while, she lets other girls in her grade worship her for proving that nerdy girls can get with a hot guy out of their league and vilifies Ben for mentioning the rumour, even though if he hadn’t, those girls wouldn’t have known and immediately considered her their hero...so, when her lies serve her, she soaks it up, and when they don’t because the rumour reaches Paxton, she blames others. Devi sucks, man. 

EPISODE 6

Seamless writing! The writers clearly know how to write for an affluent white kid growing up in Los Angeles County. It follows the perspective of Ben Gross, with Andy Samberg narrating. They stuck to what they knew, they wrote what they knew, and it worked. It wasn’t uncomfortable to watch; it explored family dynamics and aspects of Ben’s personality, and it didn’t really delve into what being Jewish is like, but it’s nice to see there weren’t any anti-Semitic quips. (The bar is on the floor, if I’m saying it’s nice there was nothing offensive in this episode.) 

But yeah, it worked, I understood the character more, and he got indicate the possession of some more redemptive traits that made you wonder where he was headed in this story. That can’t really be said for the POC characters. Although Fabiola and Eleanor finally start to get their own storylines...more than halfway through the season.

EPISODE 7

You’ll probably see again at this point how bored I am of stories indicating a girl is gay by her lack of femininity and a boy is gay by indicating his abundance of it. No nuance, no fluidity — queer kids cannot exist in any other fashion or form at Sherman Oaks High School. And yeah, the fat kid is still being used as comic relief. This will happen a couple more times to lift tension from what could’ve been really untampered, sweet, and powerful moments. No, no, we need a few more completely uncalled for jokes made at the expense of the fat, nerdy kid.

EPISODE 8

I love when Fabiola pops off. Although she too becomes yet another half of a mixed couple with a white love interest, she gives Devi an aggressive reality check. It’s important to note that Devi’s lack of social coordination or a bigger group of friends shouldn’t be attributed to her not being a “pretty, thin white girl” or to her being nerdy; she’s genuinely unlikeable because she’s a bad person. She’s selfish and dishonest. I don’t know why Paxton chooses that moment at the party to extend his empathy or if he’s attracted to girls in vulnerable positions because he kisses her specifically after she expresses feeling abandoned by everyone in her life. Maybe he didn’t want to sleep with her because he was developing feelings and he didn’t want her to be another casual hook up, like the hot, vapid popular girls Zoe or Ben’s gold digger girlfriend, Shira. But Paxton contradicts himself so many times in how he treats Devi that it’s hard to tell. If a girl loses her friends for being awful to them, then plays the victim and opts to mention her trauma only in moments where it serves justifying her behaviour, and you choose to find that to be the moment to kiss her, I question your judgment and what exactly you are attracted to.

EPISODE 9

I should say, I do like Steve (played by Eddie Liu), Kamala’s secret boyfriend. He’s funny and endearing and doesn’t want Kamala to pick between her career and her relationship, nor does he want her to feel like she needs to hide who she is or who she loves. But he does feel insecure about her falling for Prashant, an Indian engineer she is expected to get engaged to and who ends up being unexpectedly attractive. She assures him it’s just a formality to appease her parents to meet him, but Steve and Kamala break up anyways, because he breaks into her room and is too frantic and desperate to lose her and proposes out of fear and jealousy. Kamala and Steve would’ve been a more interesting couple to follow (see again, my point about following romance after high school?) because they are both Asian, but different ethnicities. I think they could’ve been a funnier and enticing pair to approach and develop because of Kamala’s student visa status influencing their relationship, how influential their backgrounds or overbearing immigrant parents might be, how Steve handles his insecurities and if Kamala would feel more likely/obligated to fall for Prashant not just out of religion/ethnicity but because they seem to have more in common and she doesn’t feel dishonest or the need to be secretive around him. There were so many components to their relationship and to Kamala herself that I would have liked to see picked apart a little more. And it took the second to last episode to really see her shine, which was a bummer.

This episode does offer a huge turnaround for me, personally, as it finally digs into the relationship Devi has with Nalini. It can actually be pretty triggering for many South Asian kids who feel disconnected from or unloved by one or both of their parents, and despite it reopening a wound of mine alongside Devi’s, I think it was really incredible to see that specific flashback on television, for probably the first time ever.

EPISODE 10

The parts of the show that are the strongest in terms of writing, emotion, and a good balance of drama and comedy occur too little, too late. There were promising moments that made initial criticism of the pilot feel too harsh to judge the whole show off of, but I don’t think I would take back anything I said. I did tear up, during the last 7-ish minutes of the last episode, which is a pretty big deal. And I’m quite pleased with the journey of Devi and Nalini’s relationship, more than anyone else’s, and I think that’s really special and vital to see more than the friendships and romance because it can be so contentious to be an “Americanized” desi growing up in a house ran by an immigrant desi. And that’s often at the heart of any inner conflict second generation Indian kids (and adults) feel.

I took the advice of giving it a chance, and I think there was more room for improvement than there was real entertainment for me, personally. If it gets picked up for a second season, I’m curious to see what developments will be made and if I’ll feel differently than I do now.

I also didn’t want to give the idea that I wouldn’t listen to or respect opposing opinions or receptions of the series. I know it’s gotten more raves than rants, from what I’ve seen, and I might be just the absolute harshest critic, but whatever the case and thoughts on what I’ve shared, I hope my perspective doesn’t sway you from watching the show entirely or from admitting that you liked it. I just hope it brings into consideration some interpretations you might not have considered or been aware of. That’s all a review can do.

[ikenbar]

A Date with Kiro: The Costume Shop

Howdy folks!

So, I’ve had the idea for dates supporting my oc, Ikamara for some time now but I wanted to go a little farther in her story before trying anything. But now we are at Chapter five so HERE WE GO!! 

I also want to use the dates to show off who would be the main fella for the next chapters!! and  SURPRISE!! Kiro will be the main for the next chapter!! :D So excited for this chapter you guys have no idea. And I’ll be able to show it off next week!! Stay tuned~ ;P

-Ike and Bar Productions

Setting: Right after the happenings of Chapter four. Ike has a weekend off so she spends it investigating some leads on the Montu case.

To understand some details about the Montu case, feel free to read Chapter one, part one of my fanfiction here! If you’re just here for the sake of a Kiro date, enjoy your stay! You don’t have to read the fanfiction to understand what is happening but it would make more sense! :D

Warnings: There are none. Unless you have a problem with tight clothing and/or cute gay moments.

Date with Kiro: Costume Shop

"Sorry, mam. Like I said before, we don’t sell that here.”

I pouted, dropping the mask in my hand slightly. I had made a goal to visit all of the costume shops in Loveland city, searching for the mask Montu had sent me, hoping to find one that had sold it. But the city only had three costume shops, and I had been through all them before ten on a Saturday.

Sensing my disappointment, the shop owner continued, “If it would make you feel better, you can have a look around. I don’t know. Maybe they took something apart from my store to make it.” I thought a moment, then nodded, shoving the mask into my messenger bag. I turned and looked around the shop. It was small but jam packed full of strange outfits and costumes. Some of which seemed to be vintage. This intrigued me.

I had barely taken one step into the store before a buzzing came from my pocket. I pulled it out and froze. 

It was Kiro.

I still hadn’t quite accepted the fact that the Kiro was now one of my frequent connections. But there he was, calling me on a Saturday like we were actual friends… at least I hoped we were. Maybe I was just a question he was trying to answer. After all, how we met left a lot to the imagination.

Without wanting to waste anymore time, I quickly answered the call.

“Speaking.” I said, as casual as I could.

“Hey Super Stranger! How are you?”

Instantly my sour mood disappeared as Kiro’s happy voice filled my ears. Kiro had given me that nickname when I had saved him from a car accident. I had my motorcycle helmet on so he couldn’t see my face very well. He had called me his hero and had given me a nickname to commemorate it. And, though the nickname was corny, it never ceased to bring butterflies to my stomach. “I’m alright.” I mused, walking further into the store as I spoke, “How are you?”

“I’m great!” Kiro sang, “Guess what?”

“... What?” I asked, my smile faltering slightly.

“I found this amazing little stand that serves the best drinks! You’ve gotta come try it!”

“What- Now?” I scoffed.

“Yeah!” Kiro sang, “I don’t know when they are closing so it has to be now!”

“I’m a little busy with work.” I said, pulling at various costumes from their racks, “I don’t think I’d be able to leave it so easily.”

“You work on the weekends?” Kiro laughed slightly.

“Well superheroing isn’t really a part time gig!”

“But even superheroes need breaks!”

“Yeah, well, crime never rests.”

“But they make an amazing hot chocolate! They add espresso for extra flavor!”

The mention of coffee instantly changed my attitude.

“What do you say? Just one drink!” Kiro’s pleas increasingly became higher pitched, as if he was a child promising to do chores for a piece of candy. 

Before I could say another word, a scream came from Kiro’s end of the phone. “Oh no.” Kiro whispered with dread on his tongue, “I’ve been spotted! I’ll text you the address and you can just meet me here!”

“Are you sure that’s a good-”

“No time to talk!” Kiro hurriedly said, “Gotta go! Later Stranger!” And with that, he hung up the phone. I looked down at the phone, shaking my head uselessly at it. Despite the disapproval I felt, a smile still crept it’s way up my lips. There was no way of saying no to that man.

 With new found motivation, I searched the variety of costumes for anything pertaining to Montu. Without realizing it, I had begun looking through the superhero suits. As I scanned the clothes, I pulled out a particularly familiar looking costume. My foster brother, Sam, and I used to watch old cartoons from CDs that our foster father kept in his attic. There were a thousand collections to pick from but one cartoon in particular truly piqued our interest. 

Boot Fever. 

It was about a group of superheroes that fought villains who tried taking over their already crumbling city. It was a very old show with a very old premise but, man did Sam and I eat it up. From the characters to the animation to even the terrible voice acting, we watched that show late into the night. I may not have had great memories of my childhood, but those memories are ones I would take to my grave. 

I thought the show had long been forgotten but there I was, holding the main protagonist’s outfit. Her name was Red Sparrow. Her super power was to be able to transform her body into anything she thought of.  Sam compared her to me all the time. Though the only point he could connect us to was the fact she was strong. Because, other than that, we were complete opposites. She was very dramatic and in tune with her emotions. Not to mention her suit was extremely form fitting. And, at the time, the tightest thing in my closet was my yoga pants. Even then they would be paired with an oversized sweatshirt and a flannel around my waist.

Past all of that, I loved the fact that she wore a full face mask. It resembled the face of the bird she was named after and, though the design was simple, made her character a big hit in her time. Women's appearances in shows in that time were based solely on how revealing they were. Red sparrow seemed to take that and turn it on it’s head. Her jumpsuit completely covered her whole body, hiding her identity completely.

I plucked off the mask from the top hanger and turned it over in my hands. No one would know it was her unless they took it off. She was a mystery. I longed to be that mystery ever since I was a kid-

A loud bang came from the front door. I ducked behind the clothes rack, immediately bracing for a fight. Instead, I was met with the sound of someone panting heavily. “Welcome in, sir.” The owner of the shop said sarcastically, “Is there something I can help you find?” Curiosity overlapping my shock, I peered around the rack. 

There, weakly leaning on the door, was Kiro. He had his eyes closed as he gasped for air. He was in his usual disguise of sunglasses and a black hoodie, but the hoodie’s armpits looked to be drenched in sweat as his sunglasses slid down his equally wet face.

I quickly sunk back behind the rack, frozen in fear. Kiro can’t be here! I screamed in my head, If he tried talking to me he’d know I was Super Stranger! Then I would only disappoint him by being some lowly tv show producer with no regard for feelings! Not to mention, holding a scantily clad costume of an old tv show. I have to act fast.

Looking down at the mask in my hand, a stupid plan came to mind. Not having the time to second guess it, I quickly threw the mask on and pulled the rest of the costume off of it’s hanger. I hurried to the dressing room and pulled the curtain shut, praying that Kiro didn’t notice me go in there. I quickly started stripping down, folding my clothes and shoving them into my messenger bag as I moved. 

As I changed, I heard some screaming coming from outside of the small shop.

“I saw him go this way!”

“Quick! Don’t let him go too far!”

Some rustling came from inside the store as Kiro’s familiar voice traveled the air, “Sir, I need a place to hide! Please! Help me!”

I had never heard Kiro so desperate. Half of me wanted to jump out of the dressing room right then to help him. The other half would rather finish getting dressed first. 

The latter won.

 I pulled on the skin tight suit, regretting it instantly as it squeaked over my skin and tugged at my unshaven leg hairs. 

“I don’t know, sir.” the shopkeeper droned, “That sounds rather suspicious to me.”

“I’ll give you my autograph.”

“There is a dressing room over there you can hide in.” The shopkeeper spoke quickly and excitedly. I cursed in a whisper as I picked up my pace. After a moment of pause, quick steps approached my hiding spot. With one last zip of my costume, thankfully from the front, the curtain to the room shot open. Kiro hadn’t looked at me yet, still focused on the door where the screaming had only further increased. But, once he had, his face went completely red. 

“I-I’m so sorry!” Kiro stammered, eyes darting straight to the ceiling, “I didn’t know this room was occupied!” A loud bang came from the store’s door again. Without lingering on the awkwardness anymore, I grabbed Kiro’s arm and pulled him into the room. I pushed him into the corner and held a finger to the mask’s beak. Still bushing wildly, Kiro nodded, holding his eyes on my mask all too securely. 

High pitched voices rang through the store as they searched the shop. Some of them were questioning the shopkeeper. Others were whining about how small the store was. The sound of metal scraping against metal chimed in the mess of sounds as the girls started searching the clothing racks for him. Soon the interrogating and complaints turned even more sour as they slowly came up with nothing.

Just as I thought we were in the clear, a shadow appeared under the dressing room curtain. “Hey!” A particularly annoying voice called, “Is there anyone in there?!” I froze. Kiro couldn’t answer. He was the person they were looking for! But I couldn’t answer either because Kiro would know I was Super Stranger!

“Hello?!” The girl impatiently called. I felt Kiro’s eyes on me. 

I sighed.

“Occupied.” I resolutely boomed. The shadow flickered.

“S-sorry!” She said, obviously startled by my voice. The shadow quickly disappeared. Avoiding Kiro’s eyes, I walked over to the curtain and peered out of the room, just in time to watch all the girls leave the store. I sighed once again and straightened myself, letting the curtain fall back into place.

“You should be safe now.” I said, turning back to face Kiro. He was staring at me wide eyed and mouth agape. His face had significantly returned to it’s normal hue, if not for a slight blush on his cheeks.

“S-Super Stranger?!” He scoffed, finally letting his eyes stray from my face and to my body. I folded my arms and popped my hip.

“Eyes up here, chief.” I deadpanned, signalling for him to adjust his gaze. He did so, his blush rushing back through his face.

“Sorry!” He chuckled nervously, pulling his eyes from me completely, “I just never thought you’d have such a…”

“Yes?” 

“... Such a love for such an old show! I mean, how old do you have to be to know who Red Sparrow is?!”

“Apparently not old at all.” I walked over to Kiro and tilted my head so our eyes met, “Suggesting that the twenty-three year old Kiro knows about it.” Kiro tensed. Then he laughed, releasing some of the obvious tension that rode on his shoulders. He looked at me adoringly through the mask.

“I can’t believe it, Super Stranger! You saved me again!” Kiro raised his arms. I held a hand out.

“They were just some fangirls.” I insisted, pushing Kiro backward, “No big deal.”

“Of course it’s a big deal! Who knows what they would have done if they caught me! Let me make it up to you.”

“That isn’t necessary.”

“Come on it’s the least I can do! Hey! That drink stand I was telling you about isn’t too far from here! Let’s go there!”

“And how do you expect to get out of here with those girls looking for you?” I asked, folding my arms again. Kiro’s eyes flickered back to my body. Then, a strange emotion sparked in his eyes as he let them linger there.

“I just need a new disguise!” He said rubbing his hands together. I slowly looked down at my outfit.

“... If you think you’re getting this-”

“No, this shop is full of costumes! I wonder…” Kiro walked past me, being careful not to touch me. He paused at the curtain, checking that the coast was clear, then he moved out of the room. I had only been alone for a couple of minutes until Kiro had returned, costume in hand. I froze.

In his hands was the costume of Complex Cell, the sidekick to Red Sparrow. He could duplicate himself up to a thousand times and not break a sweat, easily confusing the enemy long enough to take them down. He also just so happened to be Red Sparrow’s love interest. 

“What are you doing?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer.

“What do you mean, Sparrow?!” Kiro beamed.

>>>

“I can pay, Kiro.”

“Who is this Kiro?!” Kiro boomed, handing the shop owner his card, “For I am COMPLEX CELL!!” I rolled my eyes. The moment Kiro had put on the costume it was like he had completely disappeared, only to be replaced by Complex Cell. The overly confident, motivating, annoyingly positive sidekick of a superhero… so in reality not much had changed other than how he spoke, which was cute at first but it got boring quick.

“Come, dear Sparrow!” Kiro laced his arm into mine, “Hot chocolate awAITS US!!” He took his card and skipped out of the store, pulling me closely behind him. 

The moment I stepped out of the store, I immediately felt the eyes of the world on me. I may have been comfortable with my body but I had never been that exposed before. I normally would be wearing at least a jacket but now… 

“Hey.” Kiro tugged on my arm, “You ok, Sparrow?”

“I’m not Red Sparrow.” I said through my teeth, “Do you realize how much we stand out?! Everyone’s staring!”

“The sidewalk is practically empty.”

“Emphasis on practically.”

“Stranger,” Kiro laughed and tapped my arm lightly, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. Remember, you’re not the only one dressed up like this! I’ve got your back! Besides, you look amazing!”

My heart leaped through my throat, “... You really think so?”

“Of course!” Kiro looked down at me. His mask only covered the top half of his face, exposing his glistening smile, “I’m disappointed more people aren’t looking! More people need to see how amazing you look!” I elbowed Kiro in the side but still felt the uneasiness lift from my shoulders. There was nothing Kiro would say that could make me hate him.

“Red Sparrow!?”

Kiro halted in his steps and spun around. A small child smiled brightly at Kiro and me. She was tugging at her father’s jacket, pointing at us excitedly. “Dad! Dad, look!! It’s Red Sparrow and Complex Cell!” Kiro released my arm and struted confidently towards the kid.

“Hello, dear child!” Kiro boomed, , smiling brightly and laughing dramatically as he knelt to the little girl’s eye level, “I see you have spotted Sparrow and I! But I am very surprised that someone as pretty as you could know about us!”

“I watched you guys win battles with my mom!” The girl giggled, blushing at Kiro’s shining face, “I really like how you guys save the day! Everyday! I especially like Red Sparrow.” The girl looked hopefully up to me, “She’s my favorite!” 

“Well today is your lucky day!” Kiro turned to look at me as well, smile somehow brighter than before, “Isn’t it, Sparrow??” I looked between the two of them, frozen in place. I know what Kiro wants. He wants Red Sparrow. But I'm not Red Sparrow! I’m Ike. The horrible, cold, distant-

A sparkle flashed across the little girl’s eyes. A sparkle I was all too familiar with…

I sighed.

“My dear adventurer!!” My voice jumped to action as I threw my hands in the air and cat-walked over to the girl, “I am honored to be considered your favorite superhero! Pray tell, just how are you doing this fine day?” I knelt down next to Kiro and posed for the girl. Her face lit up beautifully, smiling brighter than even Kiro. Before I could say anymore, she ran into my arms, wrapping her arms around my neck tightly and nearly tipping me over. I kept my arms out, looking to Kiro for any kind of help he could give me. He merely grinned, flashing me with adoring eyes. I frowned uselessly at him. He was no help. 

I patted the little girl softly on her back, “M-My! You startled me.” I awkwardly said in Sparrow’s voice, “What’s this for?”

“Last year, my mommy died.” The little girl’s whisper stunned me even further, “She was sick and spent a lot of time in her bed. But we would still spend time together to watch you save the day! She said that she liked you because it didn’t matter what happened to you. You would always make sure the bad guys would lose. And that’s why you’re my favorite! Because you were my mom’s favorite!”

Anything I wanted to say was blocked by a lump forming in my throat. Tidal waves of emotions crashed through my heart as the girl’s grip remained tight around my neck. I may not have had that kind of experience before, nor did I want to experience it, but hearing it come from such a small voice made me feel so bad for her. Like I was next to her on that bed and watching those shows with her mom. The only person I watched those kinds of shows with was Sam and if I were to lose him…

I wrapped my arms around the little girl, pulling her closely to me as I cradled her. “You and your mother have quite an amazing taste.” I said, heroic voice faltering slightly, “But, you should know one thing. I am only a hero because you allow me to be one.” The little girl pulled away from me.

“What do you mean?” She asked, her big eyes filled with curiosity. I smiled lightly and moved my hands so I was holding her arms.

“I am only a hero to protect people like you! Without you, I would be nothing.” I tilted my head and winked at the girl through my mask. The girl shook her head and pushed my hands down. 

“That’s not true.” She smiled, “You don’t need someone watching you to do the right thing! You should be able to do it because you know it’s right! That’s what my mom always said!” My finger twitched. Without a moment to waste, the girl turned to her father.

“Daddy! Daddy! Can you take a picture of us!!”

>>

The girl and her father walked joyfully away, leaving Kiro and me in silence. A hand rubbed my back. “You alright, Stranger?” Kiro asked, finally dropping his hero facade. 

“... How can a girl that young be so smart?” I asked softly, folding my arms and adjusting my posture to one that better suited me instead of Red Sparrow. Kiro laughed.

“You know, I was thinking the same thing!” He said through a chuckle, “I guess it’s true that wisdom comes from experience.” Kiro’s words left us in another meaningful silence.

“... She reminds me of my foster brother.” I said, my voice trailing slightly. Kiro’s head snapped to me in my peripherals. 

“You… were a foster kid?” Kiro asked, tone shifting dramatically.

“We used to watch Boot Fever all the time when we were growing up.” I continued, ignoring Kiro’s question, “He would dress up and pop popcorn because he was so excited to watch it with me.”  I turned and caught Kiro’s sparkling eyes. I rolled my own and shoved him from me. 

“Don’t look at me like that.” I deadpanned. 

“Stranger!” He said, closing the distance between us again with open arms, “You’re opening up!” 

“Yeah, yeah.” I mused, looking round the area we were standing in, “Where is this drink stand you have been raving about?”

“Oh!” Kiro quickly grabbed my hand and pointed behind me. A cute, wooden, mobile drink stand  sat on the other side of the street. Steam wafted up from a false chimney, gracing the cool air with the soft smell of caramel and cinnamon. Two people stood in line for the drinks, but other than that the street was nearly empty. “Luckily for us, those girls didn’t see me at the stand.” Kiro excitedly said into my ear, “And there is no line! Let’s go!” Kiro pushed against my back. I quickly swatted him away and started walking to the stand on my own. Kiro quickly followed, clapping his hands together like an eager child.

The couple at the stand left with their drinks, leaving room for Kiro and me to walk up. The woman manning the stand looked me up and down. A charming smile flashed on her lips. “Red Sparrow?” She asked, leaning on the counter and arching an eyebrow.

“Barista?” I asked, folding my arms again. She laughed and stood up straight.

“No need to get defensive, Red.” The barista said, “You look good!” A sharp blush struck my cheeks. Arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me backwards and into a chest.

“I know, right?!” Kiro giddily chimed, rubbing his head into my shoulder. I rolled my eyes and flicked Kiro’s forehead. He whined and pulled away from me to rub his head. The barista chuckled and turned to her drinks.

“So, what will it be, heroes?” She asked, avoiding any more eye contact with me. I looked at the menus on the side of the stand, then at Kiro.

“... I’ll have an iced caramel macchiato, subed with white chocolate mocha, coconut milk, and a mocha drizzle.”

Kiro and the barista looked at me in shocked silence. I turned calmly to Kiro. “Anything you’d like to add, Cap?” I asked Kiro casually. His look of astonishment never faltered.

“...You really drink that kind of drink?” He asked with a laugh.

“Oh not at all.” I tactlessly chimed, casually looking at the tip of my gloves, “I just told you I was a foster child. I’ve got to throw you off my scent before you figure out my secret identity.”

“Oh a drink order won’t throw me off!” Kiro laughed and casually approached me, “Just you wait! I’ll figure your identity out and we can be heroes together!... Speaking of which,” Kiro leaned forward, eyes shining beautifully, “Did you ever come up with a superhero name for me like you promised?”

I didn’t know if it was how close he was standing to me, the soft aroma of romantic scents, or the fact that he fit into that superhero costume so well, but every word I wanted to say got caught in my throat. All I could do was look him in the eyes. Eyes so gorgeously blue, I could swim in them…

“Hey, Red.”

I snapped to and looked over at the barista. She shook the iced drink in her hand. “You gonna pay for this or make me stand here holding it in the middle of fall?” She asked, tone dripping in annoyance. I cleared my throat and nodded, taking the drink from her. 

“As for you, Captain.” I said, regaining my composure as I turned back to Kiro, “Your hero name is one of importance. I will tell you what it is in due time.”

“So in other words, you don’t have one yet.” Kiro sighed, pouting slightly.

“I do too!” I huffed, stepping away from the stand and gesturing to Kiro to follow, “I’m just not going to expose it in a place where everyone is listening!” Kiro laughed and pulled me into a firm side hug.

“Alright Stranger, I’ll let you off this once.” He sighed, pulling me down the street with me by his side, “So what are you up to for the rest of the day! Are you free to hang out?”

“Me?” I scoffed, brushing off Kiro’s hand from my shoulder, “What about you? Does Savin even know you’re out here?”

“Today’s my day off! Which means I’m all yours!... if you’ll have me?” Kiro’s eyes sparkled like diamonds as he awaited my answer. My hand drifted to my messenger bag where a lump graced my fingertips. I dedicated the whole day to finding anything I could about Montu… but I suppose the costume shops were a bust, and I had no other leads to follow… 

“... Where to first?” I asked, adjusting the messenger bag on my shoulder. Kiro beamed and laced his arm in mine. With that, we had continued our walk down the street, starting a meaningless conversation and going nowhere in particular. And, for the first time in a while, 

I was alright with having no where to go.

(Next)

[thebraingremlinsaremad]

Daily Blog #6: August 13, 2021

Okay, okay, I know it's a couples days later, but I can assure you that I did not forget; I purposefully, and kinda without a better option, didn't post on Friday, and you'll see why.

So the day started off pretty regularly: I got up, ate breakfast, got a shower, and then sat around playing games and watching YouTube for a bit.

That was until my friend showed up at my house...

He called me and said to come outside, so I did.

It wasn't long until I got into his car, and we started driving.

I definitely should have been more anxious or nervous heading out, but for some reason, I just sat there with my head absentmindedly poking out the window, not really thinking about it.

I really wish I had grasped the situation a little better.

We got down there after an hour and a half of driving and we parked a bit away because there were so many people there, so many people there, in fact, that we just got some food until it calmed down again.

It was gonna be a great fucking concert.

Hella Mega Tour 2021, originally supposed to be Hella Mega Tour 2020, but postponed for obvious reasons.

We shopped for a tiny bit beforehand, not buying anything, and then headed over to the stadium 45 minutes before the concert was set to start. We were let in about 10 minutes later, and we filled our contraband water bottles that we managed to hide on the way in.

We sat there for a bit, me just listening to music on my Redmi Buds 3 pro.

I love these things.

Pretty soon the music started, and it was The Interrupters; everyone was feeling pretty lazy for this bit.

It's not like they were bad or anything, they were actually pretty good, but I guess everyone was just getting situated and didn't wanna bother using up all of their energy lol.

So The Interrupters' set is up, and they tear down the stage and reset it. Before too terribly long, Weezer starts up, and there's a lot bigger reaction from the crowd than there was before: people knew the songs, like Africa, Buddy Holly, Beverly Hills, and Feels Like Summer to name a few.

I was getting into it a bit, I knew a good few of the songs, I was moving along, I sang a bit, took some video.

What's cool is that I could feel myself moving along the scale, like going from no excitement while no one was playing, then tapping my foot and grooving to The Interrupters.

When Weezer first came on, I was just sitting there like, "alright, this is good shit." Towards the end, I was quietly singing Buddy Holly, their last song for the night.

I say quietly because there was a lot more loudness to come.

I should add that, up until this point, the music had been kinda unbearably loud, the highs really piercing and hitting hard.

Additionally, up until this point, I had been trying my best to document the concert with videos and audio recordings; it wasn't so much about enjoying the concert, for I've always been taught just to record stuff and not worry about the concert.

I don't think I've ever really enjoyed any of the concerts I've ever been to; I was there, but I wasn't. I didn't really know too many of the songs, and I had only listened to the artists in passing, not to mention the fact that my mother had been at every other concert I've been to, which is stifling in itself. I really can't enjoy anything when she's around.

But here we were; it was starting to get dark, and Fall out Boy was coming onstage. The crowd was getting into it with Weezer, and it was time for Fall Out Boy. The energy here had far exceeded both Weezer and The Interrupters, and this went for me as well.

I was sitting there, singing along and still occasionally recording, but I didn't have my phone out too much. I started to dance in my seat with every song, for I knew almost every one: Sugar, We're Going Down, Centuries, My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark, Grand Theft Autumn/Where is Your Boy, The Last of the Real Ones, Save Rock And Roll, and Dance, Dance being a few.

Throughout this set, everyone was singing along, but the real fun had yet to begin; the scent of smoke from the flames and fireworks finding its way through the crowd, the music now strong instead of piercing, a sense of unity between everyone in this packed stadium, between people of all walks of life: men, women, children, transgender, cisgender, non-binary, gay, straight, lesbian, ace, black, white, Asian, Mexican, young, old, middle-aged, and everything in between and outside... It didn't matter who you were or where you came from; you were at a fucking party, and everyone was gonna fuck it up once the main act came on stage.

Meanwhile, everyone was more than happy to celebrate with Fall Out Boy and some of their greatest and most memorable tracks.

Part way through Fall Out Boy's set, I decided to get off of my ass and join the growing number of audience members who were really getting into the groove and feeling the music.

It was so close to becoming an explosion of energy once Fall Out Boy was about to leave the stage.

After they left, the set was torn down once again and set up for Green Day.

Their was a low mix of music playing through the speakers all the while things were being set up. Once the stage was set, the music continued for a bit, but was then cut and replaced with a voice and lyrics that everyone knew immediately.

"Is this the real life. Is this just fantasy."

The crowd sings along to every word.

"Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality."

Freddie's voice poured out into the crowd, and the crowd sang them right back.

"Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see"

The song continued, and the whole crowd sang to the very end.

This really goes to show how impactful some people and groups can be on our lives... Although no one at the show was connected to Queen or Freddie Mercury, everyone who came to see these 4 bands still knew this great group.

Once the song was over, a mix of some of the most famous rock anthems began to play:

"We will, we will rock you"

"I love rock and roll"

"Hey, Ho, let's go"

A glorious piece all lead up to the 4 running onstage, Billie Joe Armstrong, Jason White, Mike Dirnt, and Tre Cool, joined now by 2 new members, Jason Freese and Kevin Preston.

All at once, it was an explosion of strong and passionate guitar jamming, soon followed by the drums and vocals of American Idiot. All at once, the crowd was rocking along with bopping heads, stomping feet, and swaying bodies. I only had my phone out to record for a short moment before I put it away and scarcely removed it from my pants for the rest of the concert.

I couldn't help but feel cocky, as a bi/pansexual (idk which one lmao), being allowed to sing the line,

"Well maybe I'm the faggot America"

I was like, "You straight bastards better not be singing that line 🤣"

It was absolutely incredible; the crowd cheered passionately and wholeheartedly at the end of every song and solo, after every quote from the band.

The coolest part about the concert was the fact that everyone just lost themselves in the music, as well as that everyone, without hesitation, followed what Billie Joe said. He says jump? WE FUCKING JUMPED. He tells us to scream? We. Fucking. Screamed. And when he wanted us to sing, we sang. I mean, okay, we were singing the whole time xD. I'm sure we would've sang if he told us to and we weren't already doing so lmao. What he said was our law, and we were doing our jobs as the dutiful citizens of Suburbia by following those laws.

It really is hard to express the level of pure energy at this gathering, especially when it radiates from every point in the packed stadium.

I screamed so loud and hard, and sang so long and passionately, that my voice started to go. But. Guess. What.

When you're at a place like this, no matter what, you just have this insatiable urge to keep going no matter what. When my arm got tired of throwing my fist in the air, I kept fucking going and even used the other arm too.

It's such a strange feeling when you feel like you're about to give out, like your voice is gonna break, or you're gonna collapse from dehydration and exhaustion, but you find around you the strength and power to keep on going, no matter how quickly your vocal health deteriorates.

Ask my friend, I couldn't speak properly after that shit xD. He even threatened to send a video of me talking to my choral teacher, who honestly would have been mad at me lmao.

Meanwhile, Green Day is playing some of their greatest hits, old and new alike, and I knew every single fucking one of them. I sang every song, and only took a break between 2 of them to down my whole bottle of contraband water in 3 seconds flat.

At one point, the band stopped playing, and Billie spoke into the microphone.

"Get your pretty lights out. I wanna see the pretty lights."

Everyone got their phones out and turned the torches on, as per his command.

"Turn the house lights off."

The lights go off, and the stadium is lit up almost as bright as it had been before, but this time with the lights of thousands.

"Look at that."

It was honestly an incredible moment.

That brings me to another point: when you go to a concert, you're not just paying for the music, you're not just paying to see a band, you're paying for an experience.

Let me tell you, this was one hell of an experience.

If you don't leave a concert feeling fulfilled, then the performers didn't do their job of giving you the experience that you paid to be a part of. I'm so happy that these four bands, especially Green Day, were able to deliver.

I really did love every moment of that show, which is such a rarity for me. I'm really happy that my friend took my mother's place. I can't fucking enjoy everything when she's around.

Oh yes, it wouldn't be one of my daily blogs without me talking about how my mother consistently pisses me off. Don't worry, I have some happy shit left to end on.

I swear to fluff though, she always manages to ruin everything for me. When we went to see The Lion King on Broadway, she insisted on coming with. That meant that I wasn't able to relax in my seat because this disgusting woman was sitting next to me and I had to cram myself to the side of my chair away from her. It meant that I wasn't allowed to cry when Mufasa died or during Can You Feel The Love Tonight because I knew I'd get made fun of for it.

I even went to a Fall Out Boy concert before, her refusing to let me go myself, and I didn't sing a single song because she'd just tell me to let the professionals handle it.

And for fuck's sake, the time she compared me trying to fucking validate my existence as a trans person to her wanting a car... That will always fucking piss me off.

Sorry, I got sidetracked. I was talking about how she ruins everything for me.

I literally cannot be myself around her. I've always been judged and ridiculed by my parents, and still am. I can't enjoy anything when they're around because I'm too focused on trying not to get made fun of or yelled at.

That being said, that concert was absolutely fucking incredible. I was with thousands of people who felt the same way that I did, and I could fucking jam out if I wanted to.

Apart from everyone being really on top of their game, and Billie Joe basically not aging since he turned 25, the only really notable thing left to say about the performance was when they pulled a kid guitarist onstage. He played for a bit, and they ended up letting him keep the guitar lmao.

BEST PART IS:

I SAW THE KID AFTER THE CONCERT, AND I WAS LIKE,

"Omg, hey, can I get a selfie with you?"

I was trying to be really low-key and quiet cuz I didn't wanna draw too much attention to him lmao.

The security guard was like, "Yeah, sure, but hurry up."

I TOOK THE PIC REALLY QUICKLY AND THEN HEADED OUT

HERE IT IS

YES, OF COURSE I BLOCKED OUT MY FACE

But I absolutely love the vibes of this photo xD. It's blurry, the lighting is shit, and you can barely make out any details. It has a lot of character, and I would take this over a clean, clear photo any day.

Walking away, the kid's mom said, "You're like, the coolest kid ever now."

Agreed.

Then it was time to go home. Honestly, I didn't feel sad that it didn't last longer, or disappointed that I had to leave. I was actually very satisfied and fulfilled with what happened, which is honestly the way it should be.

Driving home, I stayed awake by sticking my arm out of the window and letting the cold rain hit fast like tiny needles.

I got home.

I passed out.

Although, that was technically on Saturday 🤔

ANYWAY, THIS IS MY LONG ASS BLOG FOR FRIDAY THE 13TH

I hope you enjoyed

Be good people!!!!

-Leonna