#What You Do With Your Life A.H.K.B.C.B. (After the Hero Kills the Batshit Crazy Bastard)

[sitp-recs]

Also I went through your entire fake dating reclist cuz it’s one of my favorite tropes of all time I’m an absolute sucker for it and now idk what to do with myself 😭

Love that for you anon! And since you love it so much, here’s a part 2 with more recs. To anyone who’s interested, the original fake dating reclist is here. Its from early 2021 so this one has more recent fics and two old ones. Enjoy anon! 🥰

Snow On Snow by @tackytigerfic (2021, T, 1k)

Harry and Draco were deep undercover in Europe, and had to pretend to be a couple. When everything went wrong, they got out by the skin of their teeth. Little did they know they'd be stuck spending Christmas together in a Ministry safe house in Muggle Edinburgh. And that's where our story picks up.

Game On by @pennygalleon (2021, T, 5k)

Draco blows Harry a kiss and the press goes nuts. Harry suggests they use this to their advantage.

Yours Truly by @skeptiquewrites (2022, M, 15k)

Every single one of Harry’s exes has gone on to marry the next person they date, and with the upcoming nuptials of numbers six and seven to each other, Harry’s feeling exhausted by it all. It doesn’t really matter if he lets people assume Draco Malfoy is his boyfriend for a moment of peace. In any case, Draco’s been away for five years and there’s no way he would find out, right?

Drawing Down The Moon by scoradh (2006, E, 20k) - Cw: major character death

After breaking up with Blaise, a drunken Draco begs Harry Potter for help in winning him back. In a fit of misguided philanthropy (plus one or two ulterior motives) Harry agrees. In the midst of the ensuing chaos, at least one person falls in love.

Historians by Anonymous (2022, E, 30k)

It’s the Dumbledore’s Army Reunion Holiday, and Harry’s found himself in hot water with his friends once again, after telling them he has a boyfriend he definitely does not have. In an attempt to fix things, he’s made it his colleague on Level Nine, Draco Malfoy’s problem too. Featuring a ski chalet in Switzerland, a pair of bunk beds, and an agreement that should’ve been simple, were it not for all the bloody feelings getting in the way.

What You Do With Your Life, A.H.K.B.C.B. (After the Hero Kills the Batshit Crazy Bastard) by oldenuf2nb (2008, E, 39k)

Draco Malfoy had waited years in hope of seeing Harry Potter utterly humiliated....

Thine Enemy is Sweet by @xx-thedarklord-xx (2019, E, 53k)

A story featuring a ragtag team of morons, bickering enemies that can't agree on anything, a heist that surely won't end well and a connection that neither Harry or Draco can deny.

Fire Meet Gasoline by Anonymous (2022, E, 62k)

When Draco’s anger management issues land him in St Mungo’s, he thinks his Quidditch career is over. But Harry, A&E Healer and notorious workaholic, is faced with a similar predicament. To save their jobs, the two of them decide to fake a relationship. All they have to do is convince their friends and employers… and not fall in love in the process. Simple, right?

Loverboys by @corvuscrowned (2021, E, 84k)

As post-war violence and tensions rise, it seems as if there’s no hope to unify the wizarding world. Except, maybe, a manufactured relationship between resident Saviour Harry Potter and known purveyor of the Dark Arts Draco Malfoy. (The fact that they detest each other is beside the point.)

Chasing Dragons by @the-sinking-ship (2021, E, 98k)

Draco can think of only one way to outclass his pleat-front-khaki-wearing politician ex, and that’s by making headlines with an obvious upgrade. And who better to upstage the cheating bastard than the Saviour of the World, Harry Potter himself? Sure, Potter is a little rough around the edges in ripped jeans, a rumpled tartan shirt, and a permanent scowl. Draco reckons a haircut and a shave wouldn’t hurt, either. But Potter is also in need of a Healer willing to keep his secrets, and Draco is just the man for the job.

[mundrakan]

Day 2 of HP Rec

@hprecfest

One of my comfort fics is

What You Do With Your Life, A.H.K.B.C.B. (After the Hero Kills the Batshit Crazy Bastard)

It is terribly old, but the humor is just some category of its own. I love it, and i can read it whenever I am down.

Ship: Drarry

[lostdrarryfics]

Hello! I read a fic a long time ago in which reputation was a huge factor. At first Harry has a crush on Oliver wood and was at some kind of party/gathering/pub and wanted to work up the courage to talk to Oliver, but Oliver had an entourage that was looking down on Harry for some reason and making him look like a loser. Draco sees it and decided to help Harry out by going over to flirt with him and teaching how to act at social gatherings so he’s more confident and people won’t look down on him. Fast forward some months/years and it’s big news that Draco and his fiancé (I think French) was breaking up. I think it was because the fiancé cheated. Somehow they ended up at a gathering together and the fiancé is spreading lies and making fun of Draco trying to get him to embarrass himself at the gathering. Harry wants to return the favour from before and starts flirting with Draco at the party to make people believe Draco is already over the fiancé. There was a hot scene with shots and they would lick the chasers off each other’s body (it started off take and got a bit risqué). There was also another scene I remember in which the fiancé was talking to Harry and told him that all he had to do to get into Draco’s bed and for Draco to do everything for him was to tell Draco he loves him.

We believe you are looking for What You Do With Your Life, A.H.K.B.C.B. (After the Hero Kills the Batshit Crazy Bastard) by oldenuf2nb (39k, E)

Don’t forget to bookmark, leave kudos and comments!

[wetassdrarry]

Drarry + Pride

gimme all the gay, they, and LGBTQIA themes pls

A Hag, a Hex, a Tale of Redemption by aibidil (43k)

Away Childish Things by lettered (153k)

Bed Music by LowerEastSide (29k)

Burn the Witch by lettersbyelise (95k)

bury the dead where they’re found by rocketdocket (52k)

But That’s History by ebbet (54k)

By the Grace by lettered (140k)

Criminal by The_Sinking_Ship (83k)

Dating Draco Malfoy by QueenofThyme (47k)

dirtynumbangelboy by magpie_fngrl (39k)

Faint Indirections by ignatiustrout (29k)

first words of a shooting star by Piarelei (15k)

Gryffindors Never Kiss and Tell by FeelsForBreakfast (10k)

head over heels by derekmaliknurse (21k)

Here’s The Pencil, Make It Work by ignatiustrout (49k)

Howlr by partialtopotter (47k)

How to Handle a Matzo Ball Soup Emergency by Blowfish_Diaries (22k)

IDK My BFF Hermione? by lettered (19k)

Ligabus Filium by Tessa Crowley (43k)

Little Compton Street by Writcraft (65k)

Nearly Lost Things, Carefully Tended by SquadOfCats (46k)

No Greater Victory by dicta_contrion (27k)

Orbit by HenryMercury (52k)

Out and the Open by HenryMercury (74k)

Soup-pocalypse and The Great Curry Cataclysm by SquadOfCats (104k)

Star Quality by who_la_hoop (118k)

Start a Revolution (From My Bed) by untilourapathy (29k)

The Boy Who Lived (To Not Be a Boy) by TheLightFury (26k)

the call of sweet things by softlystarstruck (88k)

The Frisky Furnishings of Malfoy Manor by Writcraft (19k)

The Magic Cat by dot_the_writer (17k)

The Nightmare Club by Elle Gray (85k)

There Is Always the Moon by firethesound (159k)

This Year's Love by trishjames (84k)

(Un)wanted by aibidil (36k)

What You Do With Your Life, A.H.K.B.C.B. (After the Hero Kills the Batshit Crazy Bastard) by oldenuf2nb (39k)

Welcome to the Broom Closet by incapricious (23k)

When You Kiss Me (What A Lovely Way To Burn) by femmequixotic (22k)

Find your flavor

[drarryspecificrecs]

Hi! Can you help me find this fic? I only remember this one scene: Harry and Draco were at some kind of ministry function or some other official celebration. They were drinking at the bar and somehow ended up playing some kind of "drinking game" where they alternately had to kiss each other on different parts of their bodies (face, neck and the like). They might have met on more then this occasion, maybe every year at the same celebration? But I might be wrong about that bit. Thank you so much!

Anon #2: this blog is so useful, thank you! I'm looking for a fic in which Draco and Harry DON'T have sex in a toilet, although everyone assumes that's what they're doing, but really Draco gives him a pep talk about being gay and says something like: You make all the twinks' hearts go pitterpat

Anon #3: Hello! I’m looking for a fic that’s post-Hogwarts. Draco helps Harry figure out his sexuality. And then he falls in love and becomes engaged to this really wealthy Count(?) The guy dumps and tries to humiliate him publicly where Harry swoops in and saves him. And I think Harry’s been in love with him since Draco helped him out?? Please help me out!! Thank youuuuu

ETA: Thank you guys for your help ♥

What You Do With Your Life, A.H.K.B.C.B. (After the Hero Kills the Batshit Crazy Bastard) by @dianacopland [E, 39k]

► Draco Malfoy had waited years in hope of seeing Harry Potter utterly humiliated...   ~ 2008.09

[loves-to-read-fanfic]

Chapters: 8/8 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Characters: Pansy Parkinson Additional Tags: Fluff, Humor, Romance, Explicit Language, Sexual Content Summary:

Draco Malfoy had waited years in hope of seeing Harry Potter utterly humiliated....

[dictacontrion]

Potter's eyes returned to him, still suspicious. “Why would you?” he asked. “In fact, why did you help me out there? It’s not like we’re friends.” Draco huffed. “We most assuredly are not. None of my friends would be caught dead in that hideous jumper.”

What You Do With Your Life, A.H.K.B.C.B. (After the Hero kills the Batshit Crazy Bastard) by oldenuf2nobetter

[nottooldforthisship]

Hello! Do you maybe known the fic in which draco is duped by the poor Italian wizard that he is engaged with and harry drinks tequila from his collarbone and pays for his hotel room and then after they sort of get together, H is sent to America as an auror and Draco reads in the newspaowr that hw is with an American guy and loses it? I swear i had it bookmarked but i can't find it!!

Hello ! I really don’t read enough Drarry fics to be a good help on this one sorry ! I tried googling it but nothing is coming up :/

If someone wants to help, feel free ! ( @phd-mama ? any idea?)

Update :

Thanks @luculik !! it’s What You Do With Your Life, A.H.K.B.C.B. (After the Hero Kills the Batshit Crazy Bastard)      

[firethesound]

Fic anon here,Draco is duped by a poor Italian wizard that he is engaged with and during a ministry event Harry drinks tequila from his collarbone and pays for his hotel room (maybe he also kisses his forehead) and then after they sort of get together, H is sent to America as an auror and Draco reads in the newspaper that H is with an American guy and loses it? And then H apparates through the manor's ward... and yeah! Please tell me that this rings a bell!! Thanks a lot xxx

Hi fic anon! I didn’t recognize it, but @dictacontrion is here for the afternoon and recognized it right away!

It is What You Do With Your Life, A.H.K.B.C.B. (After the Hero Kills the Batshit Crazy Bastard) by oldenuf2nb

[samstiels-deactivated20201212]

Drarry Reading List

For @tmmotheechalamet 💕

I’m starting with maybe 50 or so fics but let me know if you need more and mind the tags and warnings! 😘😘😘

Title: As Souls From Bodies Steal Author: Femme (femmequixotic) Other Pairings: Ron/Hermione, past Harry/Ginny Rating: NC-17 Length: 40,991 words Warnings: hurt!Draco, ptsd, rape/noncon (not Draco/Harry), first person POV (don’t let that stop you), hurt/comfort Summary: Hope may be found in the oddest of places, even in the bleakness of winter.

Title: Good-bye to Yesterday Author: furiosity Other Pairings: Harry/Ginny Rating: NC-17 Length: 25,324 words Warnings: pre-DH, angst, dubcon Summary: Draco felt ready to face even a million years in Azkaban as long as it meant that at the end of it all, he would make Potter pay.

Title: Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow Author: November Snowflake Other Pairings: Ginny/Tonks, past Ginny/Harry, past Remus/Sirius Rating: R Length: 55,389 words Warnings: amnesia, angst Summary: In the war-torn years after Hogwarts, one man has no knowledge of his yesterdays.

Title: Daybreak (sequel to Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow) Author: novembersnow Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 5,000 words Warnings: canon divergence Summary: Harry Potter, Draco knows, has a habit of keeping his promises.

Title: The Ties That Bind Us Author: faithwood Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 29,405 words Warnings: porn with plot Summary: An accident leaves Draco and Harry bound tightly together. Literally.

Title: Shattered Author:  Femme Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 7,704 words Warnings: angst Summary: One damned accident involving one too-lucky curse, and suddenly you’d think he was five again…

Title: All Our Secrets Laid Bare Author: firethesound Other Pairings: Ron/Hermione, Harry/OMC Rating: NC-17 Length: 149,481 words Warnings: case file, first time, post war Summary: Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.

Title: Coffee, Cakes and Doorknob Snakes Author: Omi_Ohmy Other Pairings: Ron/Hermione Rating: NC-17 Length: 40,842 words Warnings: post war Summary: Harry’s house is trying to kill him, and only one person can help him: pity it’s Draco Malfoy

Title: What You Do With Your Life, A.H.K.B.C.B. (After the Hero Kills the Batshit Crazy Bastard) Author: oldenuf2nb Other Pairings: past Harry/Oliver Wood, Draco/OMC Rating: NC-17 Length: approx. 40,000 words Warnings: post war, angst, fluff, unrequited Summary: Draco Malfoy had waited years in hope of seeing Harry Potter utterly humiliated….

Title: To Touch A Unicorn Author: Lomonaaeren Other Pairings: none Rating: R Length: 13,097 words Warnings: post war, angst Summary: Draco is content with his life as the new Care of Magical Creatures professor. That is, if Harry Potter and those stupid unicorns would both go away.

Title: Infernally Mundane Methods Author: hydr0gen Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 6,648 words Warnings: 8th year, pwp Summary: He’d only gotten up for a quick walk to clear his head, and now he was locked in a broom cupboard with a half naked Draco Malfoy and playing a risky game of Truths.

Title: Of the Heart’s Fullness and Of the Coming Emptiness Author: tout_a_coup Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 9,000 words Warnings: post war, 8th year, angst, humor Summary: Harry Potter is nineteen, and he’s already peaked.

Title: Save My Wonders Author: sdk Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 21,216 words Warnings: post war, chubby!draco, insecure!draco Summary: Immediately chocolate assaulted Draco’s senses. Warm melted chocolate mixed with his mother’s roses and… something else. Something new. Freshly scrubbed skin and maybe a faint sheen of sweat. It was so familiar… And it only intensified when Potter came up behind him.

Title: Touched Author: Writcraft Other Pairings: none Rating: PG-13 Length: 7,052 words Warnings: post war, PTSD, hurt/comfort Summary: On the insistence of his parents, Draco begins to see a therapist to discuss his difficulties with physical intimacy. When he changes his appointment time, Draco discovers he’s not the only one seeking assistance as a result of events which occurred during the war and he finds comfort in the most unexpected of places.

Title: And I know The Spark Author: firethesound Other Pairings: Ron/Hermione Rating: NC-17 Length: 15,639 words Warnings: violence, dubcon, first time, canon divergence Summary: All Draco cares about is keeping Potter alive, and he’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that happens.

Title: Let’s Pretend The War Is Over Author: pir8fancier Other Pairings: none Rating: PG-13 Length: 7,914 words Warnings: post HBP AU, mentally ill Draco, angst Summary: The war is over and Draco is alone, fighting demons of a different nature.

Title: No Quiet Find Author: distempered Other Pairings: Ron/Hermione Rating: NC-17 Length: 9,895 words Warnings: war fic, mentally ill Draco, angst, hurt/comfort, rough sex, breathplay Summary: War makes a man tired…some more than most. Draco needs rest.

Title: I Am Your Shadow Author: eidheann Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 3,128 words Warnings: angst, 8th year, dubcon Summary: Love (n) An intense feeling of deep affection. Yield (v) To give up or surrender (oneself).

Title: The Darklist Author: dysonrules Other Pairings: Harry/OMC Rating: R Length: 87,481 words Warnings: case file, post war, torture, hurt!draco Summary: When Draco Malfoy, wanted criminal, strolled into the Ministry to give himself up, he seemed destined for Azkaban until he offered to hand over information to avert an upcoming crime. Of course, he refused to divulge that knowledge to anyone but Harry Potter.

Title: Transfigurations Author: Resonant Other Pairings: past Harry/OMC Rating: NC-17 Length: approx. 400,000 words Warnings: canon divergence, case file, post war, ptsd, angst, Harry’s kind of a dick tbh Summary: Five years after Voldemort’s defeat, Harry returns to England to help re-open Hogwarts.

Title: A Fruit Tree in Winter Author: small_gardens Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 29,000 words Warnings: canon divergence, hurt!draco, hurt!harry, angst Summary: After failing in his task of killing Dumbledore, life doesn’t go as Draco expected. Sometimes just surviving takes everything you’ve got. And sometimes healing is something you can’t do alone.

Title: Lettered Author: pir8fancier Other Pairings: none Rating: R Length: 7,802 words Warnings: canon divergence, dirty talk, angst Summary: Harry has a secret penpal, whose identity is as plain as the nose on his face. Except he’s not wearing his glasses.

Title: Lush Life (sequel to Lettered) Author: pir8fancier Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 19,517 words Warnings: AU, angst, unrequited, post war Summary: This is the sequel to Lettered. Draco is now the editor of a gay men’s porn magazine and living in N.Y. His self-imposed exile from England is about to end.

Title: Home Again, Home Again (sequel to Lush Life) Author: pir8fancier Other Pairings: Ron/Hermione Rating: NC-17 Length: 22,071 words Warnings: AU, post war, violence, angst Summary: The day I find the person who orchestrated this is the day they will wish they never had been born.

Title: In the Interest of Interhouse Cooperation Author: firethesound Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 11,817 words Warnings: post war, 8th year Summary: Organizing a Duelling Club was supposed to be a fun extracurricular activity for Harry’s 8th year. But add in Draco Malfoy and a malfunctioning Room of Requirement, and things can’t help but get complicated.

Title: Kiss the Joy (Until the Sun Rise) Author: ICMezzo Other Pairings: none Rating: R Length: 37,863 words Warnings: post dh, first time, hurt/comfort Summary: The Room of Requirement was severely damaged in the war, but not so much that it could not provide for one lost student and another young hero—especially when they needed each other most of all.

Title: Love Comes Tumbling Author: taradiane Other Pairings: Ron/Hermione Rating: NC-17 Length: 22,256 words Warnings: 8th year, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff Summary: ‘Harry’s thoughts were of how much he would have done differently with Malfoy over the years, and of Dumbledore’s final words to the other boy … “It is my mercy, and not yours, that matters now.” Maybe, Harry wondered, he could find some mercy, too, and give Malfoy the second chance that Dumbledore had believed him worthy of.’

Title: Requirements Author: ravenna_c_tan Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 5,145 words Warnings: canon divergence, bondage, knife!play, blood!play Summary: Draco is spending much of sixth year in the Room of Requirement. But sometimes the Room has a different idea of what he requires than he does.

Title: To Be Back Again in the Rest of the Room Author: lamerezouille Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 15,947 words Warnings: post dh, angst, fluff Summary: Harry’s just defeated Voldemort, and has had enough trouble for a lifetime. All he wants to do now is to get into his four-poster bed in Gryffindor Tower and sleep. Too bad he soon finds himself unexpectedly stuck in a malfunctioning Room of Requirement… with Malfoy.

Title: Date Blindness Author: Cheryl Dyson Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 24,673 words Warnings: angst, fluff, misunderstandings Summary: Harry thought he was perfectly happy until Hermione decided to set him up on a blind date.

Title: One Harry Potter, Please Author: faithwood Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 62,269 words Warnings: first time, post war, unrequited (not really) Summary: All Draco wants is Harry Potter’s friendship, just to make his new Auror job more bearable. However, after Harry stubbornly pays more attention to his secret admirer, Draco is forced to resort to drastic measures.

Title: My Sweet Prince Author: heymrstone Other Pairings: none Rating: R Length: 46,626 words Warnings: post DH, angst, misunderstandings Summary: It’s been four years since the Battle of Hogwarts, and Draco Malfoy has resided to a quiet, lonely life in muggle London. Of course, Harry Potter is bound to come around and stir things up…

Title: Desperation Author: vampireisthenewblack Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 13,804 words Warnings: war fic, alcohol abuse, suicide attempt, dark fic, first person POV, Draco’s POV (don’t let it stop you) Summary: If you had only died when you were meant to, I’d have grown up in a wizarding world already ruled by the Dark Lord. I wouldn’t be screaming at you in a sixth floor bathroom. I wouldn’t be raising my wand, Crucio on my lips.

Title: In Plain Sight Author: oldenuf2nb Other Pairings: none Rating: R Length: 37,500 words Warnings: 8th year, angst, hurt!Draco Summary: Draco Malfoy had stopped believing his wishes would be granted long ago. He could perhaps be forgiven for being startled, then, when one of them came true.

Title: The Business of Saving Souls Author: rurounihime Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 26,168 words Warnings: post war, angst, suicidal thoughts Summary: Draco’s world is filled with ghosts, and not all of them are so easily banished.

Title: Fearless Author: melusinahp Other Pairings: Ron/Hermione Rating: NC-17 Length: 35,000 words Warnings: angst, post war Summary: “There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.” – John Lennon

Title: Must Love Quidditch Author: dracosoftie Other Pairings: multiple Rating: NC-17 Length: 103,473 words Warnings: slow build, post DH Summary: Through a series of emails from an online dating site, Harry thinks he’s found his perfect match. Will the bond they’ve forged survive after their identities are revealed?

Title: On A Clear Day Author: Saras_Girl Other Pairings: none Rating: R Length: 41,519 words Warnings: slow build, post DH Summary: Draco Malfoy is waiting for his real life to begin, and it appears that he’s not the only one. Coffee, charity, and the wisdom of the elderly.

Title: (The Piece) I was Missing All Along Author: lauren3210 Other Pairings: Draco/OMC’s, Harry/OMC’s, Hermione/Ron, Hermione/Ginny Rating: NC-17 Length: 30,778 words Warnings: infidelity, post war, angst, slow build Summary: Draco and Harry have been flatmates and best friends for years, and Draco thinks life is just perfect that way. But when something comes along and threatens to take all that away, Draco has to decide what it is he really wants, and just how hard he’s going to work to get it.

Title: Unexpected Consequences Author: hdremix_mod, lauren3210 Other Pairings: Hermione/Ron, Ginny/Dean Rating: NC-17 Length: 39,192 words Warnings: hurt/comfort, post war, hurt!draco, violence Summary: Harry was going back to school. He was going to play Quidditch, sleep in lessons, hang out with his friends, and generally just enjoy being a kid for a change. And he was also going to do it while being bonded with Malfoy, because apparently life was just going to continue throwing curveballs at him. Harry didn’t know why he expected anything different.

Title: Let Me Be Your Voice Author: Queenie_Mab Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 47,459 words Warnings: 8th year, hurt!draco, first time, hurt/comfort, parseltongue kink Summary: As the hero of the revolution, Harry leads the wizarding world in its efforts to rebuild; but first old wounds must be tended, rifts caused by hate mended, and his history with Draco Malfoy seems like the perfect place to start.

Title: All His Saints Author: Setissma Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 13,433 words Warnings: canon divergence, depression, angst Summary: It was eleven o’clock when Harry heard the knock on the door. He very nearly didn’t answer.

Title: Noticed Him Fading Author: marksykins Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 3,500 words Warnings: canon divergence Summary: Draco hates France, the Ministry, owls, and Harry Potter.

Title: Let the Poets Pipe of Love Author: bookshop Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 11,916 words Warnings: dubcon, prostitute!draco, angst, first time Summary: Harry is a virgin, Draco is a hooker, but when they get together they have nothing but fun sex fights—well, something like that.

Title: Say Hello Before You Say Goodbye Author: oxoniensis Other Pairings: Draco/OMC’s Rating: NC-17 Length: 2,000 words Warnings: post war, angst, major character death Summary: “His coat, although very fine, is secondhand, something that eats away at the remnants of his former self. His hands are a little chapped, it’s cold, and he’s so fucking tired…”

Title: Tissue Of Silver Author: fearlessdiva Other Pairings: none Rating: R Length: 76,077 words Warnings: post book 5 canon divergence, slow build, drug use Summary: A love story concerning possessed furniture, black silk pyjamas, courtroom drama, premonitions of doom, assassination attempts, Death Eater yoga, absinthe, bare feet and a sensible werewolf.

Title: Gone Down the Angel on a Lonely Night Author: Femme (femmequixotic) Other Pairings: Draco/OMC’s Rating: NC-17 Length: 17,672 words Warnings: post war, violence Summary: Eight years after the end of the war, Harry stumbles upon Draco in an unexpected place: Islington.

Title: The Voldemort Manor Author: Kedavranox Other Pairings: Harry/OMC, Draco/OMC Rating: NC-17 Length: 40,616 words Warnings: au, angst, violence, drug use, suicidal thoughts Summary: The Malfoy Manor is a state run museum, renamed The Voldemort Manor by the Ministry for Magic. As part of his probation, Draco is assigned as sole caretaker. When the Manor hosts a series of high class events celebrating the Wizarding World’s fourth Yuletide season Post War, it brings with it a swathe of people Draco hasn’t seen in years; including one, Harry Potter.

Title: Salt on the Western Wind Author: Saras_Girl Other Pairings: Hermione/Ron Rating: R Length: 60,549 words Warnings: post war, slow build Summary: When the war isn’t quite as over as it first appears, a guilt-ridden Harry is sent to a mysterious safe-house. Among sandwiches, insomnia, and Mills & Boon, he discovers something quite unexpected.

Title: He Who Must Not Be Normal Author: lettered Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 40,913 words Warnings: post war, dark fic, ptsd, hurt/comfort Summary: Potter has fame and fortune and posh clothes and all he wants is a simple life. Draco has a flat and a cat and a steady job and all he wants is a complicated life. Which makes you think this story has something exciting like body-swapping, but it doesn’t. Instead it has Indian takeaway and a blue jumper and people wanting a whole lot of what they can’t have, discovering themselves as they discover each other.

Title: And So Death Took Author: ICMfornow Other Pairings: Hermione/Ron, Draco/Astoria Rating: R Length: 25,248 words Warnings: post dh, canon divergence, major character death (not Harry or Draco) Summary: Fairy tales may soothe small children into slumber, but some stories themselves refuse to sleep. The Tale of Three Brothers,retold.

Title: Sew Me Back Together Again Author: xenadragon_xoxo Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 19,165 words Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, Draco POV Summary: After the war, with his father in Azkaban and his mother on the run, Draco is lost, broken, and scarred by the mistakes he has made. In an effort to make things right, Draco participates in the rebuilding of Hogwarts, but he finds himself completely shunned. That is, until Harry Potter, Wizarding World’s Golden Boy, shows up to save the day. Again.

Title: Hate Me Like You Do Author: hurt_mod, shine_alive (orphan_account) Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 10,888 words Warnings: rape/noncon, violence, humiliation, angst Summary: During the war, Draco was forced to hurt Harry. Ten years later, they meet again—and again, and again. Harry uses his hatred as a shield, because it’s so much easier to hate than to love and forgive. Draco revels in Harry’s hatred and craves more of it, becoming addicted to it, because he would rather have hatred and pain than nothing at all.

Title: Right Hand Red Author: lumosed_quill Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 73,173 words Warnings: 8th year, first time, slow build Summary: Harry felt Malfoy’s breath on his lips as they came together over the bottle, hands firmly planted on the floor as though they each needed their familiar soil, refusing to cross into enemy territory. Except that Malfoy no longer felt like his enemy. Malfoy felt inevitable.

Title: When the Songbird Stopped Singing Author: Nherizu Other Pairings: Draco/Astoria, past Harry/Ginny, past Draco/Pansy Rating: R Length: 37,290 words Warnings: 8th year, eating disorder, violence, angst Summary: Shortly after the war, Draco Malfoy wakes up with a new understanding, and Harry Potter needs firmer ground to walk on. Unfortunately, life is never easy, especially with the burdens of N.E.W.T.s looming closer. As Draco struggles to maintain his sanity, Harry is back to his old routine—stalking Draco.

Title: Vanilla Author: DancingGrimm Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 14,760 words Warnings: 8th year, first time Summary: Draco worries about his libido. Harry takes it all in stride.

Title: Until Dust is All That’s Left of Us Author: wantsunicorns Other Pairings: none Rating: R Length: 47,000 words Warnings: angst, fluff, dubcon, case file Summary: There’s a dark presence at Malfoy Manor and its smoky tendrils are already reaching for Draco. Will Harry be able to save him and more importantly their budding friendship, before it’s too late?

Title: Against All Odds Author: fanfairmod, momatu Other Pairings: none Rating: NC-17 Length: 53,838 words Warnings: post war, canon divergence Summary: Beauxbatons is hosting the first ever Quidditch Summer School for children from all over Europe, and Harry has promised to enroll Teddy as his birthday present. Meanwhile, Draco is stuck in his office, putting together the first ever Quidditch Summer School for children from all over Europe during, when he should be enjoying summer holidays.

Title: Helix Author: Saras_Girl Other Pairings: Neville/Luna, Ron/Hermione Rating: NC-17 Length: 92,870 words Warnings: slow build, fluff Summary: Seven months after the end of the war, Harry is feeling lost. Fortunately, he is about to be offered an unexpected and sparkling chance to find himself again.

[romeoandmesittinginatree]

Catherine of Aragon?

A Pansy who, despite ending up in a shitty marriage after the war, kept her powerful, badass-ness.

And, I mean. The bit in No Way about her being 'cursed' could be talking about her past. How this guy is trying to get rid of her on the basis of his past (or, even, how she kept her past from him - which would be utter bullshit - a la What You Do With Your Life, A.H.K.B.C.B. (After the Hero Kills the Batshit Crazy Bastard).

Anne of Cleves Pansy Parkinson? - Get Down

Hey nonnie! Thank you so much for this ask. I love getting asks that combine two of my favorite things: Harry Potter and musicals!

I see where you’re coming from with this comparison; however, I see your Anne of Cleves and I raise you an Anne Boleyn.

Both Pansy and Anne are manipulative, snarky, fun-loving, flirty, sexy, and have a big heart they hide behind a calculated exterior.

"Sorry not sorry 'bout what I said," should be tattooed on Pansy somewhere honestly. That's her MO.

"Don't be bitter 'cause I'm fitter./Why hasn't it hit her? He doesn't want to bang you somebody hang you!" Like telllll meeeee she wouldn't roast someone by saying that almost verbatim.

Anyway, thank you so much nonnie for this great ask! I loved thinking about this :) <3

Send me an ask about Harry Potter, broadway/musicals, The West Wing, and/or Taylor Swift! Or just about life in general :).

Also, I have a playlist of my 99 most listened-to songs of the year so far. Pick a number 1--99 and send me an ask and I'll write you a fic based on it!

[sitp-recs]

Hidden Gems by oldenuf2nb

Another author who’s been around for a long time - and lucky us, they’re still active in the fandom! 🙌 Their advent fics are among my favourite comfort reads, and I love how easily they go from short form to long form, always delivering original plots and amazing world building. It’s humbling and comforting to think we have someone so talented dedicated to raising the number of 50k fics (a perfect length imho!). I especially recommend olden if you’re into kid fic and established relationship, there are many lovely tales including these tropes in their catalogue. Here are some of my faves:

The One Where Draco Loses his Mind and Gains a Boyfriend collab with sassy_cissa (2020, E, 19k) - pretend relationship, snarky Draco, get together, super hot smut!!

“How is it Potter can manage to drive me crazy and yet make me want to help him? I have to have lost my mind to even consider this insanity." Read my rec here.

The Deeper Symbolism Behind Golden Apples (2015, M, 26k) - Head Auror Harry, Sculptor Draco, getting back together, Harry & Pansy friendship!

When the Wizengamot insists Chief Auror Harry Potter pose for a statue for the Ministry Atrium, why are his friends reluctant to tell him who the sculptor is?

What You Do With Your Life, A.H.K.B.C.B. (After the Hero Kills the Batshit Crazy Bastard) (2008, E, 39k) - my personal favourite! Peak enemies to lovers romance with fluff & humour & smut, a delightful Draco and an even better Pansy!

Draco Malfoy had waited years in hope of seeing Harry Potter utterly humiliated....

The Kisses Don’t Count, If No One Else Knows (2020, E, 41k) - Politics & Love! Minister for Magic Harry, Quidditch player Draco, badass security detail Ron! And also fwb to lovers, secret relationship, banter, pining Harry and scorching hot smut 👌🏼

Minister for Magic Harry Potter does not love his job. The one bright point in his life is his secret relationship with Quidditch Super Star Draco Malfoy. When they're 'outed' by a peeping tom with a camera, Harry has to decide what's really important.

The Magic Behind the Camera (2021, E, 55k) - recluse photographer Harry, magazine editor Draco, identity porn, slow burn

Magical Photographer Evan Peverell is an enigma, one magazine assistant editor Draco Malfoy finds fascinating. The 'rock star' photog, with his purple hair streak and assorted piercings, is not remotely Draco's type. And yet there's just something about him…

The Sinner’s Redemption (2019, E, 55k) - soft dads falling in love, down and out Draco, protective Harry

When Headmaster, Harry Potter, loses his Potions Professor - is he willing to fight the system to employ the one person he knows will excel in the position? Read my rec here.

Special Gifts (2007, E, 129k) - Seer Harry & Professor Draco slow burn, past Harry/Ron, ghost!Ron, Hermione bashing

Ten years after a devastating accident costs Harry Potter the love of his life and leaves him with life altering injuries, he is asked to return to Hogwarts to help the child of an old friend, with the help of an old adversary.

[o0o-chibaken-o0o]

hello!! i love all your fic recs theyre so good !! Could you please rec me some drarry fics where Harry and Draco reveal their relationship to the wizarding world and all the responses that follow. the reveal could be the main part of the fic, the end of the fic or the epilogue!! i love all length fics and as long as the reveal is in there somewhere (even a tiny chapter or something) I want to read it! thank you so much in advance xxx

Hello!! Thank you! I feel like there are a lot of fics in which Harry and Draco come out in some way, so I’m really going to limit this to fics where they come out to the general public (as opposed to just Hogwarts or something) and the coming out/responses are a pretty memorable part of the story! :)

Date Blindness by dysonrules (24K)- Harry was perfectly happy with his life until Hermione decided to set him up on a blind date.This fic is a great play on the “coming out” trope! The boys enter into a very business-like arrangement to fake a relationship so that Harry can come out to the press, but OF COURE THAT’S ALL A PRETENSE TO HIDE THEIR TRUE FEELINGS AND IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH YOU DEAR STUPID NAIVE BOYS. *Coughs* excuse me. Anyway, fake relationships are THE BEST and this fic is great.

A River in Egypt by cassie_black (3.5K)- Draco is not impressed with the surprise guest at his Birthday party.This is a reeeeally cute fluffy little fic! I don’t want to say too much and spoil it, but it just warmed my heart

Chasing the Dragon by Calanthe (link to PDF download. No word count, but 329 pages)-  Harry arrives back at Hogwarts for his final year, nursing a huge crush on Blaise Zabini. Following a Polyjuice potion ‘incident’, Harry learns some VERY interesting things about Malfoy and starts to look at the Slytherin in a different light. Harry lets his imagination, and his wicked streak, run wild, with Malfoy on the receiving end of Harry’s game.This fic is pretty kinky and involves quite a bit of dubcon and some d/s stuff, so be warned! Personally I love all of those things so I ADORE THIS FIC. Harry starts out with a crush on Blaise (silly Harry), but don’t worry because very soon THINGS make him realize the error of his ways and the fact that Draco Malfoy is his one true obsession. Harry engages in some not-quite-moral methods to get Draco’s attention, but luckily Draco is not-quite-moral himself ;). The “coming out” is in the later part of the fic!

The Love That Has To Keep Shouting Its Name aka Hero Harry’s Attention-Seeking Actions a Huge Howl for Help by twistedmiracle (41K)- In which Harry fights with the Wizarding press, befriends a Muggle role model, explores his political-activist side, and buys rather a lot of flowers.This is another fic in which they start a “fake” relationship so that Harry can come out to the press! YES! It’s really funny because no matter how much Harry has tried to come out, the Prophet keeps photoshopping him with various women and Harry is just so done. ENTER SEXY DRACO MALFOY TO SAVE THE DAY.

Becoming Us Part 1 and Part 2 by VivacissimoVoce (84K combined)- Following the war, Harry Potter and friends return to Hogwarts to repeat their interrupted final year. To everyone’s surprise Draco Malfoy returns as well, but something has changed. Harry learns the weighty consequences of being marked as a Death Eater and must decide whether to help Draco escape his past. Although the “coming out” part of this fic is riiiiight at the end of part two, in a way I feel like the whole fic is about coming out because of the amount of time devoted to dealing with pervasive homophobia. It’s really great how they slowly work to overcome it! Also I LOVE the way they first come together!! Harry takes pity on Draco and takes him to get his Dark Mark removed the muggle way. How brilliant is that idea?! Also it’s an eighth year fic, which preeeeetty much makes it automatically amazing hahaha.

‘Twas Brillig by Queenie_Mab (74K)- Harry reads a chapter of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland to his children before bed every night and through the story, he and his middle child find an ally in each other as they, along with Alice, discover a world that just doesn’t seem to make sense when taken at face value. The more aware Harry becomes - embracing his child’s reality - the more motivated he is to build a wizarding world that is fully inclusive, and by processing these life lessons finds he’s able to connect with another person in ways that have always eluded him.YES YES YES this fic is great! It has so many different parts that are really memorable for me! Like… massage therapist Draco and a sexy massage! Trans!Al who is the sweetest! Surprise crossdressing! Great sex! Seriously, I think about this fic all the time.

Nineteen Years and 5 Minutes Later by TheMightyFlynn (203K)- Five minutes after his happily-ever-after, Harry finds himself locked in the public loos with an angry Draco Malfoy and a need that he has denied for 19 years.Aaaaah this fic! Okay I feel kind of horrible about this and I love Ginny as a character (when she’s not with Harry lol) but SOMETIMES I just really want to read a good Ginny-bashing fic anyway, you know? And BOY is this some satisfying Ginny bashing. The coming out in this fic is, if I remember correctly, not done with the consent of our boys, but public opinion is really important to the plot here, so there’s a lot of them in the press, and a lot of reactions! Also I JUST noticed that there is apparently a sequel?! Which I haven’t read yet?! I will get on that ASAPWhat You Do With Your Life, A.H.K.B.C.B. (After the Hero Kills the Batshit Crazy Bastard) by oldenuf2nb (39.5K)- Draco Malfoy had waited years in hope of seeing Harry Potter utterly humiliated…. (Note the above link is accessible by registered ao3 users only. If you don’t have an account GET ONE BECAUSE IT’S SO CONVENIENT or try here :D)THIS FIC IS GREAT, OKAY??? Both Harry and then Draco have horrible exes, and then both of them help each other save face in front of the public when they have to confront those exes. There’s lovely angst (as opposed to annoying angst, which is hard to do) and lots of fluff and smut and everything you could ask for! Just yes yes yes! 

As always, if anyone else had a rec to add, feel free to leave a reply! :)

[lostdrarryfics]

Hi! I just remembered a fic I read I think earlier last year where drarry agrees to have a fake relationship to make one of their exs jealous. I don't remember much but there was a scene with body shots at a ball of some sort. Thank you!

We believe you are looking for What You Do With Your Life, A.H.K.B.C.B. (After the Hero Kills the Batshit Crazy Bastard) (39k, E) by oldenuf2nb!

Don’t forget to bookmark, leave kudos and comments!

[wetassdrarry]

Drarry + Clubbing

in which our boys drip with chemistry on the dance floor

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Find your flavor

[dictacontrion]

“Trust me; you get your kit straightened out, and something fetching and sexy done with that hair, and you’ll be beating them off with a stick.” Potter smirked. “Seriously, take Granger. Totally aside from her taste in men, she dresses well.” Potter’s eyes darkened. “You weren’t listening. She isn’t speaking to me.” Draco waved the comment away. “She’ll get over it. Trust me, the woman has fag-hag written all over her. Just start talking to her about how our rights are infringed; she’ll start a club. WAGGLE. Women Assisting Getting Gays Laid Effectively.”

What You Do With Your Life, A.H.K.B.C.B. (After the Hero kills the Batshit Crazy Bastard) by oldenuf2nobetter