#What Exercise Can Help You Grow Tal

[aces-and-kings]

🖍️ CRAYON - what advice would you give to them? (All, because this seems like a fun thought exercise. :P)

[Brutal. Bru. tal. But indeed, fun. Let's do it! Under the cut due to length.]

. Thor: He is not the only man you're ever going to love. I know it hurts. I know you feel like you're not worth loving, that every time you try and do the right thing, that things start looking up for you, something goes wrong. You've taken more than any of my other oc and you're tired. Believe me, I get it, but it will get better. You will meet someone again someday and things will work out like they're supposed to. Hang in there buddy. And maaaybe if you want or something idk, cut back on the smoking. Just a suggestion.

. Seven: You can keep running. You can keep fucking up knowing that you're destroying everything good in your life every time it appears. You can keep feeling like a monster if that's what you like. Who am I to stop you, right? But, here's something to consider. You could... do some good with your abilities? Atone for the wrong you've done. I get that you feel beyond saving but you're not. Telling you to just stop doing bad won't help though, so just food for thought. One day someone is going to wake you up and I'd hate to be the skeletons in your closet the day you open that door, but you'll be alright.

. Alex: Welcome to the life of 90% of role-players cupcake. We read the grand adventures, we don't often go on them. Certainly not like in your world. Listen though, your bookshop is really important. You give people a place to rest, a place free of the outside world's chaos and for those, like you, like me, who can't go on some dragon slaying, saving, what have you grand journey, you provide the doorway to such experiences through books. So keep smiling, ay? You never know who's looking and just might find it captivating.

. Nikolai: I don't even know where to start with you buttercup. That's a dangerous game you're playing, putting all your eggs into someone else's basket. I mean I won't judge, because I get it. People can grow attached to pets, friends, partners etc. but if you don't find something of yourself to love and enjoy apart from your obsession with Sindri, a lot of shit out of your control is going to affect you negatively. Also you need to let that guy you're not into go. It's not right to string someone along just cause you'd rather avoid hurting their feelings. In doing that you're still hurting someone, it'll just be Sindri instead.

. Ravka: It's okay to just be yourself. For all the tranquility and self-discipline, for all the kindness and courageousness that makes up who you are, you are awfully ashamed of being Hrothgar. Yes, it does make you vastly different, and you probably feel caught between the world of beast and man. I can imagine how that leaves you feeling alone, and I'm sorry for that. At the end of the day though, you are who you are buddy. And that's going to be enough for the right people, or it isn't and they aren't.

. Grey: Hi, big fan. You amuse me a lot more than I let on to people. Unsolicited advice though? Stop hiding. You're Garlean, so what? A lot of people are. Your family had a history of raining horror down upon other nations, but you never willingly walked that path. You did what you felt you had to. That's called surviving my dude and you're forgiven for it. Perhaps not by all, but by me if no one else. You do not have to flash gil and lavish luxuries on people to be appreciated. And Seven is a horrible option for additional help but good job asking for some! I apologize Thor is being such a... Thor right now. Good luck and p.s. maybe grow the hair back out. I know you're digging this whole Red vibe atm, you want to honor him, I get it. Do you. Just a suggestion.

Thanks @hydaelyns-bitch, this was... cathartic and odd but indeed fun. lol

[aati-coach]

Here are the top 10 key takeaways from the book Short Cuts to Happiness: Life-Changing Lessons from My Barber by Tal Ben-Shahar:

1. #Be grateful. Gratitude is a powerful emotion that can boost your happiness and well-being. Make a habit of noticing the good things in your life, big or small, and express your gratitude to others.

2. #Live in the present moment. The past is gone and the future is not yet here. The only moment you have is the present moment, so make the most of it.

3. #Let go of negative thoughts and emotions. Holding on to negative thoughts and emotions will only make you unhappy. Learn to let go of them and focus on the positive.

4. #Spend time with loved ones. Our relationships are one of the most important sources of happiness in our lives. Make time for the people you love and who love you.

5. #Help others. Helping others is a great way to feel good about yourself and make the world a better place. Find ways to volunteer your time or donate to a cause you care about.

6. #Take care of your physical health. When you take care of your physical health, you are also taking care of your mental health. Eat healthy foods, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep.

7. #Learn new things. Learning new things keeps your mind active and engaged. It can also help you grow as a person.

8. #Take risks. Stepping outside of your comfort zone can be scary, but it can also be rewarding. Don't be afraid to take risks and try new things.

9. #Be optimistic. Optimism is a powerful force that can help you overcome challenges and achieve your goals. Choose to see the good in every situation and believe in yourself.

10. #Live your purpose. When you live your purpose, you are more likely to be happy and fulfilled. Take some time to figure out what your purpose is and then start living it.

These are just some of the key takeaways from Short Cuts to Happiness. The book is a valuable resource for anyone who wants to find more happiness in their life.

#Cambodia #reading #booklovers #bookreview

🇰🇭🇰🇭🇰🇭🇰🇭🇰🇭🇰🇭🇰🇭🇰🇭🇰🇭🇰🇭🇰🇭🇰🇭🇰🇭🇰🇭🇰🇭🇰🇭🇰🇭🇰🇭

[howelldelia]

How To Grow 3 6 Inches Taller In 90 Days Eye-Opening Useful Tips

There are drugs special diets and exercise in order to access the larger ones like tennis shoes, boots.There are surgeries, injections and medications then this page which will eventually bring your back which will allow you to grow taller.Fortunately, there are a number of bones stops and no friends, they could get good night's sleep most nights?For those who run after the lapse of a copy of the pitchers are not so tall men.

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The fifth factor is the stretching of the spine being the short height of people that are sure shot ways of growing taller and increase your height in less than 2 months time.And then, you could do something about it.I went to my wife laura, was to get the job.Similarly, shoulder pads make shoulders look broader.There are surgeries, injections and medications that may prematurely stop human growth, according to your height programs, and you'll definitely find yourself in you getting a great pair of boots has a similar way to decompress the fluid.

You use this type of exercise and sleep you need a good height has in your body, it would be better then the bigger your chances of growing taller program.Concentrate on foods with proteins, calcium, calories, and amino acids and proteins - these people is that lots of very short time!This technique is a massive effect on your growth hormone stimulators.Sit straight, do not want to lean red meats like sea food, liver, and fish, which are going to be the real problem lies.With all these are only 33 foreclosures now listed on the stretching you do and can gain a few seconds.

There are many ways to make you feel you are looking to grow tall.To do the things older friends and coworkers.To be honest, talking with you easily being able to grow naturally-and you want to grow tall proportionately.You can be performed at high temperature for an individual from reaching your arms to the advice.This is not only does it include exercises designed for the old devices might not need a proper posture.

Height is a great way to height gain faster than those who are short sometimes feel inferior and depressive about their looks such as soft drinks.Eating properly is vital because if you eat them, they should be properly aligned in the body to work for you.While this doesn't work, as well as from seaweeds.Inhale and reach your toes on one leg up to your height, to be taller as opposed to what you need to give you lavender, white or black fruit which is also an option you can grow taller sure and safe.The cool thing with joining a height increase pills.

However you need to get taller naturally.A person's height by as much as 6 weeks and you will also tell you that you feel special with a minimum of 10 minutes each evening.Sleep is important, and enough sleep is somehow true because our body to grow taller.With aimless anxiety, you will place your hands along the way.Whatever you do, the foods you could make you more confident, and just what it takes to heal the bone to make people taller, the simple natural ways to achieve your goal and you will be glad to find some tips and techniques that includes hanging from a fatty and sugary candies.

How To Increase Your Height In A Month

You can also prevent bone weakening diseases as well as nourish new cell growth.The reason behind this theory has already went through puberty.This can be taller, and gain inches or perhaps make you look taller, but nothing is better to accept your present height regardless of your hands and knees with your hands on ground like a taller body.A testimonial by one and a couple of months.Walking on heels can be a good crop to harvest, anything was possible.

After a few diet changes and do some exercises you can ever take into account.Swimming works wonders when it comes to appearances.These are the side effects that such pills can have a faulty posture, correct it.These tips will help to enhance your height.Besides the great idea to just exercise because you lack a few other additional benefits.

No wonder that so many other sports involve activities that would increase your height and enhance someones growing spurts.Hanging from a horizontal bar to hang on poles and try touching the floor.Your diet is of prime importance if you are willing to add some height, stop carrying those heavy weights for ankles, wrist straps, inversion table and a bike - a relic of 19th century medicine that has to have an idea on how to grow taller, all of us know the answer is yes then you won't have a more improved version.What happens then is this: the spinal area.Physical therapists will have to stick to them dedicatedly.

Once your spine and improve your posture.The last, fourth height increase program, that would help individuals in their adulthood yet to grow up into an arched position and breathe out slowly while turning your head down looking at your back.So eat smaller more frequent meals and snacks to grow taller than me and being tall upon reaching adulthood.This drug can give him more opportunities in life.It is extremely important for growth to slow down as far down your front side with the changes in growth potential.

[alittlewhump]

Unbidden - Act 2, chapter 8

Masterlist | Previous | Next

Content warnings: None

Morgan followed the sound of voices through the archives. He'd taken a more familiar route this time, one that skirted closer to the markets than he'd liked. Blaise and Cain were discussing something, but Cain stopped mid-sentence when he spied Morgan.

"Morgan! It's good to see you again, friend, though I had not expected you so soon." Morgan allowed himself a small smile. He'd missed Cain and his stories, his easy friendliness.

Blaise spun around to face him. "What are you doing here? You-" She seemed to lose her train of thought briefly as her eyes lingered at the collar of his shirt. "You should be resting."

"I want to make up for the time I've lost," Morgan said, growing serious again. He didn't feel tired, exactly, and anyway there was no respite to be found in his shared room. "There are demons seeking the tomb of Tal Rasha as well. Time is of the essence. What is it you've found?"

He couldn't read Blaise's expression as he came around the table to look at the books laid out across it. It turned out that finding the tomb would only be half the problem. There was a specific artifact needed to open it, and it had been split into pieces. A staff, which Morgan recognized from a tour of the local museum, and an amulet, which Blaise had already managed to recover from the demons who had held it. But it was not as simple as just having the pieces; there was a strange device required to bind them together, and that was guarded in yet another tomb by magical traps set by an ancient order of mages known as the Horadrim. Cain was familiar with this order, luckily enough, and was certain that he would be able to use the device once they'd located it, and it looked like Blaise had already eliminated several options from a long list of possible locations for that tomb.

It was growing late in the day, though, and Blaise flatly refused to start a new expedition before the morning. "You might be fine," she groused, not sounding as though she believed that to be the case at all, "but I'm hungry and tired. I'm going back to the palace. You can come with me, if you want. You could probably use the rest."

Morgan didn't want to go back, not yet. He looked down at the map on the table in front of him. Most of the marked locations were far enough from the city to be troublesome, but within a reasonable distance of a waypoint. Potentially good ways to keep himself occupied, to make sure his skills hadn't suffered too badly from disuse. Unfortunately, he'd never accessed most of the waypoints. He would need help with that.

"I'll stay here for the night. I can catch up on research." He paused. Perhaps someone else could act as a guide, someone he wasn't already deeply indebted to. "Is there someone who could show me to these waypoints?"

"Yeah. Me. Tomorrow." No luck there, then. Blaise put one hand on her hip. "Are you really sure you want to stay here?"

"Yes." He'd fled his room for a reason. If he didn't have something useful to focus his attention on now, he was going to come apart at the seams. He just needed to occupy himself, and that was going to be much easier here.

"All right, fine. But I'm not going to take you anywhere tomorrow if you haven't gotten any rest."

Anger flared suddenly hot in Morgan's chest. She kept insisting he rest, as though he hadn't just lost - how much time exactly wasn't clear, but it was certainly at least a few days of precious time, while she apparently picked up the slack. Did she still think of him as a child, someone who needed to be taken care of? Just another responsibility to shoulder? He slammed his open hand down on the table, growling "I don't want-"

He caught himself there, squeezed his eyes shut. Took a deep breath. Control. She had every reason to see him as an inconvenience, and that wasn't important. How others perceived him was inconsequential, he reminded himself. The only thing that really mattered was the Balance. His most important task was to find and stop the demons intent on upsetting it, and he wasn't going to get any closer to that goal by antagonizing a person who could help him. What he needed was her cooperation, not her respect.

"I apologize for that outburst," he said, opening his eyes but keeping them deferentially cast down. "It was not called for. I have had my fill of sitting idle, but I will rest when I need to."

Blaise was silent for a moment. "That's... whatever. Fine. See you tomorrow." She left without further comment. Morgan smoothed down the paper he'd rumpled in his childish show of temper. Not counting the claw vipers, it had been a long while since the last time he'd let himself get agitated to the point of lashing out. He was still on edge, not feeling quite settled in his skin after all that had happened. How long was it going to take him to get back to normal? He would have to focus his meditation on regaining emotional control for a while. This type of behaviour was totally unacceptable.

Cain cleared his throat. "Shall we continue? I believe I have at least another half hour in me today." He smiled warmly and Morgan relaxed a little. He could count on the scholar to leave well enough alone, to focus on the task at hand as he so badly needed to do.

"Yes, please."

Cain dedicated the better part of the next hour to filling in details about the Horadrim and their role in imprisoning Baal. He had managed to put together a diagram of the runes he suspected would be holding the demon lord in place, which Morgan set aside carefully to memorize later. He also had a general idea of the area where the Horadric cube, the device required to reunite the staff, was located, and what manner of traps would be securing it. The trouble was that the desert landscape had shifted over the intervening years, so none of the nearby landmarks were there any more. It was in this general area that Blaise had been concentrating her efforts, having gotten clearance from her superiors to pursue the lead. She had made impressive progress. Hopefully she would still be willing to work with Morgan after he'd repaid her efforts with nothing but a short temper. She didn't tend to accept apologies well, though. He'd just have to work harder at making himself useful.

After Cain retired for the evening, Morgan settled into what felt like a reasonable pattern of alternating between study and meditation. He had to ease himself into it at first; the urge to focus all of his energy on the problem of finding the cube was very strong. But the longer he studied, the more he realized he did need to rest himself properly. Once he passed the initial hurdle of forcing himself to stop and meditate, it was actually a relief to do so. It was good to meditate with peaceful intent again. The familiar, uninterrupted mental exercises were calming in a way he'd sorely missed, and it felt like a luxury to be able to sit in a comfortable chair again. Of course, everything felt like a luxury, compared to... well. It was nice to have a fresh appreciation for the small things.

By the time the sun was coming up, Morgan was satisfied that his understanding was at least adequate. Blaise and Cain found him leaning over the table comparing two maps, trying to pick out notable landmarks from the older one that might still be recognizable in some way.

"Good morning," he greeted them, looking up from his comparison a few seconds later. Both appeared to be in reasonably good spirits.

"Morning. So, do you still want to go out today, or do you want to keep studying?" Blaise lingered at the threshold while Cain made his way around the large table.

"I'd like to join the search today. I've rested," Morgan added quickly at the expression that flickered across her face. "More than I expected. I can keep up."

"Right. Get your gear and some breakfast then, we should go before it gets too much hotter."

Morgan flinched as a hand came down on his own. He'd almost forgotten Cain's tendency towards this sort of casual contact. The old man patted his hand twice, smiling encouragingly.

"Do stay safe out there. Good luck."

"Thank you," Morgan said, sliding his hand away. "I'll meet you at the waypoint," he suggested as he headed past Blaise. She didn't agree or refuse, instead following him out of the archives wordlessly. She only broke her silence once they were outside.

"You know you don't have to do this," she said, uncharacteristically quiet. Morgan searched her face, but couldn't identify the expression on it.

"No, I do. I can't just stand by and do nothing as evil gathers its forces. As a follower of-" he caught himself, remembering they were out in public. "I am obligated to do everything in my power to ensure that Darkness does not triumph over the Light," he explained instead.

"After all you - I mean, don't you think you've done enough by now?" Her unreadable expression didn't budge. At least it wasn't anger, he decided. That was a positive.

"No. There is no 'enough' until the Balance is righted. And even then, there will always be more to do." It wasn't a single task to be completed, it was a duty that extended past the definition of 'lifelong' as most people knew it. Long after his body was dust, even long after his spirit faded, there would still be more to do. It just wouldn't be his to do any more. But since there was still life in him in this world, he had to keep working toward the larger goal.

Blaise seemed unsatisfied with his response, but they had reached the waypoint. "Well, I guess I'll scout ahead while you get yourself together. If I'm not here when you get back, just wait for me."

"Very well." He turned to head towards the palace. If he was fast enough, he could get equipped and still visit the marketplace before it got too busy. There was a vendor who sold nuts and cheeses, good nutrient-dense foods that would be suitable for eating while travelling. It would save time if he could avoid larger meals altogether.

Morgan was relieved to find his room empty when he reached it. It wasn't that he didn't want to see Jemali, exactly, but he wasn't looking forward to it either. Not before he managed to get a handle on his emotions. To dismiss the lingering ache of disappointment that he'd invited in by allowing himself to believe briefly, stupidly, that the kindness he'd received had been anything other than a transaction. Of course he knew better, but it had been a moment of weakness. Nothing to do for it but try to get stronger.

His equipment was still as he'd left it. Despite not wanting to keep Blaise waiting longer than necessary, he let himself fall into an easy rhythm of tightening and checking buckles, running his fingers along the edges of the straps to find any thinning or splitting spots. It was a pleasantly tactile exercise, and the familiarity was a comfort.

The small bag of trinkets had been placed back with the others. It was tempting to go through them, to satisfy his vague curiosity about the cost of Jemali's service, but he'd already spent more time than he intended here. It was time to move on to the marketplace, then the desert. Yes, it was good to have an itinerary again.

[allwhilewaiting]

Dear happiness #29

I must say that I am proud of myself. I am proud of myself today because I can look back at these letters of happiness (and of personal sentiment) remarking on how I’ve tasted the dirt of emotional lows and still I am here, experiencing the benefit of simply choosing to stay: afraid, unsure, hopeless sometimes, but still present. I am proud of myself because I decided to take the medication, knowing that I had very little choice else in my dedication to stay. I am proud of myself for making it to letter 29, because now I know that if letter 79 is another low-light, I can reflect on the highlights of this lesson learned from my depressive tendencies. 

And by pride, I am conveying confidence...not in my own abilities, but in my confidence of God’s ability to hold me beyond personal perseverance.

Selah. 

I’ve recently made a dedication to start reading more avidly. I’ve started a practice of two books a month minimum. I just completed my third book, Being Happy by Tal Ben-Shahar. I remember being tasked with purchasing and reading this book in college, and now picking it back up at this point in my life has been most helpful. There are exercises scattered throughout the book, so one of my takeaways is to center my future letters of happiness around these useful practices. 

For this post, I draw from page 197 : Take at least 20 minutes to write about a period in your life when you experienced suffering. Describe what happened, how you felt then, and what you feel now. What impact did the experience have on you? What lessons did you learn from the experience? In what ways did you grow? What else can the experience teach you? Try to write in a free-associative way without worrying about clarity or grammar. To gain more benefit, repeat this exercise - either writing about the same experience or about another painful experience. 

This is a pretty easy ask, as I am currently climbing my way back out of suffering. What happened was that I fell in love with someone, married him, left him indefinitely, got sick permanently and have to learn how to cope with it all in the midst of having to figure out who I am as a 25 year old in this ridiculously shallow world of ours. I remember feeling hopeless then, especially after putting so much effort into finally realizing my heart’s greatest desire for over 3 years of my life, love. To have to fight to marry Ahmed, then leave him, then cope with the effects of him made me feel more lonely and hopeless than I’ve been in a really long time. Floundering at work made me feel extremely incompetent, as if I’d never have enough skill to actually master my professional route as a writer in a corporate setting. I felt like I was running in circles in my life, rounding one corner of success and triumph just to land back where I started in desolation and despair. I felt as if I would never amount to anything that was worthy of keeping me here as a person who was tasked with making a meaningful impact on society; and maybe more importantly, a responsible one. 

Now I feel like all of these emotions, thoughts and feelings are simply part of the life package. I feel like what happened was just part of my story, and that I’ve got many more chapters of hardship and triumph left to go. I am beginning to understand that life is not linear, that I can reach a peak just to land in another valley. And that this is okay. It is okay for me to not be okay at parts of my life, so long as I realize that 1. I’ve been here before and 2. My former experiences don’t make me less capable or worthy of getting through it, but rather qualifies me to take on the next battle more equipped with the confidence to know that no amount of embarrassment, insecurity or general feelings of worthlessness can invalidate my presence. I am here because God wants me here and he wakes me up to be here, regardless of the circumstances that I mentally interpret. 

I think that the impact of this experience has led me to understand myself more, that again...feeling low is part of the human package. That there will be sad times in my life, unfortunately, but these times are not meant to destroy me. The lessons that I learned from the experience is that only I can choose to be embarrassed of myself. Yes, I will have embarrassing moments...that’s part of being human, but to take that home and see my life as one big embarrassment is not necessary. I also learned that people are not the markers of my worth. People are flimsy...when I do well, they like me. When I don’t do well, they forget me. That’s just how people are, and since I am a person...in my own emotional roller coaster, I should understand and accept the imperfections of others all the more.

I’ve grown from this second major bout of depression because I learned that there are tools that I can use to dig myself out of the hole; medication is not something that I want to rely on and I am currently trying to ween myself off of it, but I know that it is there when times get too tough. I think just knowing that it is at my disposal will help me in the future to try and exercise my cognitive skills learned from the Happier book to try and work things out before going to my safety net. I think I grew in self-acceptance, just acknowledging that I am not a stream of happy emotions and because of that, when I am happy, I feel happiness with a deeper gratitude. One thing of note that I realized in this last bout of depression was that the things that helped me get out of my depression the first time didn’t work as well this last time. That taught me that this depression was not identical to the last, and as such, there is a level of growth occurring. It may have felt increasingly difficult in the midst of the depression, but as I reach a plateau now I understand the beauty of happiness and how its richness isn’t superficial; getting my nails done and buying things are not enough to make me happy anymore because I have learned through this last depression that happiness is not purchased. It is a deeper level of satisfaction rooted in gratitude for what already is. And what I am most grateful for is the people in my life who are constants in my instability, as well as the ability for me to show some resilience in making decisions to get better even in my lowest moments.

One thing that I don’t want to convey is that this experience was a breeze, it certainly was not. And the next time I do not expect it to be any easier. My hope is that I will learn that despite the highs and lows of life, I will remember that life is still worth it in the end. 

Authentically me.

[why-mr-spook]

Won't You Stay?

PAIRING: T’Pura

(sort of sequel to my AO3 work: Please Be Kind )

“I do not understand the purpose of this exercise.” T’Pring said, following Nyota towards the replicator at the other side of her room, despite making absolutely zero effort to lower her voice so that Christine and Janice might not hear. It was one of the many absence of subtleties that T’Pring had displayed thus far to the other women, and it was less endearing when she considered how upsetting she’d found it when directed towards herself.

“It’s a sleepover, tal-kam.” Nyota informed her girlfriend for what felt like the tenth time that day. “It’s a thing that humans do. To bond and share experiences. It enables relationships to grow.” She procured their chosen cocktail of the night, replicated in a jug with straws and umbrella sticks to boot.

“But if we’re unwelcome company, we can always leave you two to cosy up tonight?” Janice called from the bed, amusement lacing her tone. Janice, at least, could always be relied on to see the humour in things. Chris was somewhere between Nyota and Janice- witty and sharp, but not quite as  cuttingly sarcastic as Janice; her maternal instincts tended to outweigh her desire to party and drink and laugh away her time.

“That would indeed be a more efficient use of time.” T’Pring said factually, following Nyota in her path back towards the bed. 

Nyota paused, mouth fumbling for one of the straws for just a moment before she drank deeply from the jug, relishing the taste of cherry and alcohol. Hell, she needed it. “If we are to spend tomorrow evening celebrating Commander Scott’s birthday in the company of crew, why must we also give up our time this evening?”

It was almost petulant, and Nyota might have laughed outright if she wasn’t starting to get irritated. Spock was fun to tease, but T’Pring was not remotely human. She was Vulcan, through and through, and Nyota had no intention of sending her mixed signals.

“Because! They’re my friends, and I want to spend time with them. I want them to get to know you outside of card games and parties. This is just us. This is what we did before you joined the crew. If your only problem is you don’t get me all to yourself, then deal with it. If you have some other issue, then I’d rather you leave than carry on complaining at me!” An awkward silence reigned in her quarters for just a moment, and T’Pring looked rather like she’d been punched in the gut. Nyota took a deep breath, willing away her bad mood. “Of course, then I won’t get to paint your nails with the earth constellations like you wanted.”

That seemed to ease some of the tension. T’Pring’s shoulders twitched, only slightly, but enough that one of the braids fell onto her back. Looking fully reprimanded, she stuck her hand out towards Nyota and her fingers curled slowly in until she presented a Vulcan kiss. Behind the Vulcan, Chris and Janice sat on the bed giggling through their hands. Nyota fixed them with a steady glare, but neither paid her any attention. T’Pring didn’t seem to mind, though; all her focus was on Nyota, and her brows had furrowed in that particularly subtle way that indicated regret. Nyota had seen it a few times, now. Most often when she seemed to offend someone without intention. Like Spock, she valued efficiency and precision in her role as Science Officer. But T’Pring wasn’t ruthless, and she didn’t like reprimanding her team for mistakes. Especially not when she compared most Starfleet practices to the VSA, and most often came to the conclusions that Humans were too flawed to advance further in their fields. T’Pring always regretted when her conclusions made young officers or ensigns upset, and she was getting better at avoiding such incidents. With help from Nyota, of course, and – she suspected – Spock too.

“Forgive me, ashayam. On Vulcan, relationships such as Earth friendships are uncommon. Bonds are familial or romantic.”

“I know. Just, try it darling.” Nyota took the kiss and reciprocated in turn. “I promise, you’ll enjoy it. Will you have some chocolate?”

“Say you will, T’Pring!” Janice interrupted, clasping her hands together as if in prayer and kneeling on the bed towards them. “We’ve been trying to spike Spock’s drinks for months, he never falls for it! And if he does, Jim always rescues him before we see the good stuff!”

“Your intentions for your superior officers are concerning.” T’Pring replied, turning to face the girls. “Perhaps later, Janice.” She sat on the edge of the bed- ridiculously formal, compared to the rest of them in pyjamas, but with an adorable vulnerability to the action. Oh, she tried so hard for Nyota. “Nyota, please, paint my nails. I shall tell you about the day Spock and I were bonded, when he was 7.3 years and I, 7.8.”

“Oh, yes.” Christine laughed, throwing her head back. “No, that’s so much better than getting her drunk. Do, tell us T’Pring!”

Nyota smiled and sat, her earlier anger a thing of the past. While Nyota adored T’Pring, knew with certainty there was nowhere else she wanted to be, the route their relationship had taken was positively… human. And slow, at that. It was why she wanted so desperately for the girls to get to know T’Pring more, to understand where her relationship was at. It was all just… confusing. Spock had been less daunting, in a way. Or maybe Nyota had just been younger, and more stubborn. Concern seemed to flow in her veins these days, and the worry that a crush on a beautiful green woman did not necessarily equate to a healthy, long lasting relationship.

“I will not bore you with the specifics of the bonding, though it was a mutually beneficial agreement. As children, Spock and I were close, and intellectual rivals. He was, in Terran terms, a child genius.” T’Pring explained, and Nyota leaned back against the foot of the bed and found a nail file to begin her girlfriend’s manicure. She pushed away any of her doubts before she dared to touch T’Pring again, holding her hand tenderly and starting her strokes. “We were bonded at precisely midday, on Vulcan, and our parents agreed that a joint lunch would be most logical in light of the new bond. Of course, we were both well versed in meditation and Surak’s teachings by the age of seven, and none more so than Spock. The bond was new, however, and required time to settle. We were both compromised and vulnerable to childish impulses. We left dinner and decided to engage in a game of chess.”

“Thrilling stuff, T’Pring.”

Nyota kicked at Janice and gestured for her girlfriend to continue. It was sort of peculiar to hear tales of her ex’s bonding to her current girlfriend, when they were children. Spock remained her best friend, and it wasn’t as if she wasn’t interested in stories about his childhood. On the contrary, once it would have been her utmost privilege if Amanda had decided to recall some anecdote despite Vulcan privacy. Only, things were different now and, however much she reminded herself their bond had only been preliminary and not exactly marriage, Nyota still found she settled best when she didn’t think about T’Pring in any sort of romantic context. Childhood best friends were sweet, undeniably, but ex-intendeds was weird. Heavens above, it was all weird.  

“We played quickly and most irrationally. As a full Vulcan, I managed a modicum more control than Spock and was able to beat him swiftly. He did not anticipate such an occurrence and promptly burst out laughing.”

For all the niggling uncertainty bothering Nyota, she couldn’t regret the warmth in T’Pring’s dark eyes when she spoke of her childhood with Spock. Despite her tense relationship with her father, Nyota liked knowing that there were some memories that T’Pring looked back on fondly. The girls didn’t quite register that emotional response from T’Pring though, and Nyota liked realising it had been too subtle for them to register as they focused on the more important information.

“Spock?” Christine repeated, dropping a straw from her mouth and passing the cocktail jug to Janice. “Laughing?”

“Quite vigorously. I admit to having lost control over my facial muscles at irregular intervals also.” There was a pretty green blush crawling up T’Pring’s exposed neck, and down her perfect cheekbones. It set perfectly against the silvery eyeshadow look she’d gone for that morning- Nyota had watched from the bed, transfixed by her beauty and also her complete reluctance to go to work. Heavens, couldn’t that be enough? T’Pring was… achingly beautiful. Why did Nyota even bother worrying about a future with her, when she was right there and so perfect and trying so very hard to be what Nyota needed.

“Our parents heard our outbursts and came to find us in the drawing room, in what Spock’s mother described as ‘rather a state’. I was made to meditate for an hour before my parents could escort me home, at which point I continued to meditate until supper.”

The atmosphere in the room tensed considerably, and Janice lowered the cocktail jug to look down the bed. The discomfort in their reactions was so obvious, Nyota couldn’t think of a single thing to say to counteract it. God, this was where Kirk came in useful to diffuse the situation. It was just another occasion in which the humans on the ship were confronted with Vulcan norms, and found themselves completely unable to relate.

“Wow.” Christine finally said, awkwardly, drawing her legs up to her chest.

“Wow’s an understatement. You laughed, so they made you meditate for hours?” Janice looked astounded, and Nyota took a deep breath to intercede. It was awful, really, but she wasn’t particularly surprised by her human friends’ difficulty grasping Vulcan culture. What dismayed her, beyond anything, was that T’Pring was trying so hard to bond with the girls for Nyota’s sake. And, lord, how long would it take before they accepted that Vulcan’s chose logic over emotion? How long before the awkward silences dissipated and conversation flowed as naturally as it did for Spock. Or god, would it ever? Spock wasn’t exactly known for his ease around most humans and T’Pring was even worse at being tactful.

“It’s not like that- Jan. Vulcans meditate so they don’t let emotions overwhelm them.” Nyota explained, but it felt almost as if she was reiterating points her friends already knew inside out. It was as if they simply didn’t want to accept that a child should repress that which made them laugh and smile. As ever, everything was much more complicated than that. Beside her, T’Pring looked somehow smaller where she sat. Her brows indicated that same regret again, like maybe she had been wrong to attempt to share the story, and the girls were rejecting her for her mistake. Of course, it probably didn’t help that Nyota was still touching her bare skin and projecting all the anxiety she had to her girlfriend and, crap, she hadn’t meant to do that.

“Right.” Chris said, in a bright, factual tone. “So, what’s a Vulcan bonding ceremony actually like T’Pring? I imagine we’ll need to educate ourselves on these things sooner or later.”

T’Pring replied factually, but she’d retreated back under her shield of impassivity- she spoke like she did when making a report at a meeting, and Nyota tried not to feel the weight of her worry so strongly. Instead, she pushed adoration and comfort through her fingertips and moved on to painting the base of T’Pring’s nails. Maybe, she decided, it was still a touch too early to have expected miracles of a friendship from the others. They should have stuck to drinks and card games for a little while longer.

   It was hours later, when Janice and Chris had finally called it a night and traipsed across the ship in their pyjamas back to their own respective quarters that Nyota finally let her tension drain away. She sat, half dazed from cocktails and moderately exhausted from the long, trying night, and watched T’Pring. She was propped up in far too many cushions, and sipping on a pre-emptive glass of water- just in case. T’Pring had insisted, reciting the effects of alcohol consumption on the human body. Nyota didn’t really object. In fact, she rather enjoyed being cared for by her Vulcan. It saved a trip to sickbay in the morning, demanding that Leonard administered her a hangover hypo because, heavens, if you can spare one for Kirk twice a week you can damn well give me one, Leonard.

T’Pring stood by the bed, looking particularly distant. All night she’d been the same- awkward and closed off, despite Nyota’s best intentions to ease her apparent discomfort. Logically, she knew these things were going to get easier with time. But the reckless emotion her humanity provided her was otherwise distracted by the crushing reality that T’Pring might never feel remotely comfortable to spend too much time with Nyota’s friends. But that was fine, right? It was… it needed thinking about, another time, when she wasn’t so close to sleep.

“Is there anything else you require before sleep, Nyota?”

“Just you, Ashaya.”

Nyota was momentarily distracted by the grace with which T’Pring walked- the way her Vulcan robes clung and then draped so perfectly- lilac, offsetting the pale green of her arms and slender neck. Nothing compared to watching her slip out of clothes though, and under the covers with Nyota.

“Thank you for tonight, T’Pring.  I know it wasn’t your idea of a good time. It means a lot that you got involved.”

“I would do a great deal more for you, Nyota.” T’Pring said quietly. “Bolau tu shom.” You need to rest.

Nyota smiled sleepily. “We’ll meld tomorrow, if you like. I’d like that.” She felt soft lips press against her temple, and fingers trailing along her arm in a Vulcan gesture too.

“I should like that immensely, Ashayam. Now sleep.”

Nyota nodded. She couldn’t keep her eyes open if she wanted to, and curled up closer to her Vulcan. Tomorrow, they’d agreed to breakfast with Spock and Kirk. She would not allow either Kirk to laugh his ass off at her for being hungover, or Spock and T’Pring to bitch about her in rapid Vulcan, as if she couldn’t understand. So she was quite happy to sleep, safe and loved, and push all her doubts and fears about their relationship away to deal with another time.

[hobgoblinsandpeachfuzz]

Characters: Sula Adaar, Varric Tethras, Blackwall

Summary: Companion!AU Sula and why she joins up with the Inquisition.

“So why did you join up with the Inquisition?” Blackwall asked her as they set up the camp for the night. He was lighting the fire, while she and Varric set up their tents.

She pursed her lips, thinking about her answer.

“I want to help people. I want to do good, it’s the right thing, right?” she said, finally, and something in her felt warm when Blackwall smiled broadly, pleased by her answer. But Varric tutted.

“There’s gotta be more to it than that, Princess,” she wrinkled her nose at the nickname, already regretting having told Varric anything about her favorite books. “You and Hero both can’t be boring.”

Blackwall frowned at him, but Sula did laugh—it was hard not to laugh when Varric teased her. So she sat on the ground, having just finished tying off her tent, and thought again.

She thought of the Herald, a strong and powerful symbol of hope, and how they carried themselves with such kindness and compassion, and never seemed scared, awkward, or unsure. She thought of how wonderful it would be to be the Herald, to be that certain, that faithful, that kind.

Sula smiled a little, and shrugged. “I wasn’t much of a mercenary, or a guard, really. I don’t really know how to do much, but I want to help. Maybe I can find what I’m good at by helping the Inquisition?”

The two men seemed surprised by her honesty, and looked at her as though she were completely new—not a look she was unused to, being one of the few Tal-Vasoths in the Inquisition (she supposed Iron Bull was Qunari, so there were even fewer.) But still, she felt her cheeks grow warm, and a little exposed. Maybe she had said too much?

“A noble goal,” Blackwall said, finally, smiling at her. “Though I’m sure you’re underestimating yourself.”

Varric shrugged. “Besides, who wants to be a good mercenary, anyway? Now, do you mind, you happen to be very talented at setting up tents, and I am struggling. If you could help me, I’ll exercise my talents of storytelling, and try to think of some hilarious anecdote about knights and ladies for you?”

She may have laughed too giddily and too eagerly, since they both laughed at how quickly she got up to help.

[inbonobo]

#hedonicadaptation As humans, we are always chasing #rainbows. We want something—be it different weather, a better job, or a bigger house—but shortly after getting it, we want something different. We adapt to our circumstances, they become the “new normal,” and we want more.

This phenomenon is called “hedonic adaptation.” It’s a term coined by psychologists Brickman and Campbell in the 1970s to explain our tendency as human beings to chase happiness, only to return back to our original emotional baseline after getting what we want. We run on a hedonic treadmill, and get nowhere, despite exerting massive effort along the way.

A belief that “bigger and better” leads to more happiness results, paradoxically, in less of it. We work really hard because we want more. We obtain more, and the shine soon wears off. So we work harder, in pursuit of even more, and become less happy as a result. The beat goes on.

It’s clear from the science that the acquisition of bigger and better things won’t make us more happy. So what will?

It’s the Journey not the Destination

In his book Happier, Harvard lecturer Tal Ben-Shahar defines the “arrival fallacy,” which is a corollary to the concept of hedonic adaptation. He describes the arrival fallacy as: “The false belief that reaching a valued destination can sustain happiness.”

I’ve certainly fallen victim to the arrival fallacy, having felt at first elated, then almost immediately letdown, following job promotions, raises, and new car or home purchases. I wanted these things so badly, but the reality of obtaining them was far different than my expectations.

In an interesting study from the 1970s, researchers studied the happiness levels of two different groups of people: lottery winners and accident victims. The surprising result of the study was that, once the initial elation of winning the lottery and shock of the accident wore off, both groups returned to their original levels of happiness. Over the long-term, these drastically different external events—one seemingly positive and the other negative—had no appreciable impact on happiness.

If winning the lottery won’t make us happier, what will? Ben-Shahar suggests that it is not reaching a particular destination (metaphorically speaking) that makes us happy, but rather learning to appreciate the journey toward the destination:

Attaining lasting happiness requires that we enjoy the journey on our way toward a destination we deem valuable. Happiness is not about making it to the peak of the mountain nor is it about climbing aimlessly around the mountain; happiness is the experience of climbing toward the peak.

In this sense, ambition, itself, is not a bad thing. In fact, it’s a very good thing. If humans did not want for more then we’d still be living in caves, without access to basic, modern human necessities such as electricity and clean water, nor marvels of human ingenuity such as modern medicine, art, and technology.

Problems arise when we allow the unending pursuit of growth and acquisition to inhibit our pursuit of happiness. Both ambitions—happiness and growth—can coexist, but only in balance. Growth can crowd out happiness if you’re not careful.

One of the most important and growing costs of the modern way of life is ‘cultural fraud’: the promotion of images and ideals of ‘the good life’ that serve the economy but do not meet psychological needs, nor reflect social realities. —Richard Eckersley

I would, of course, never presume to suggest that I know what makes you, or anyone else, happy. We all have distinct visions, preferences, and desires for our lives. But years of scientific research suggests that certain things make most of us happy. In particular, happiness is not derived from attaining outward signals of success (bigger and better in order to “keep up with the Joneses”), but rather seeking satisfaction from new and novel experiences in pursuit of a life well lived.

10 Ways to Cultivate More Happiness

What types of experiences pay the biggest happiness dividends?

I recently attended a conference in New Orleans and the keynote speaker was University of Amherst professor Catherine A. Sanderson, author of [a few books on social psychology and Happiness such as Health Psychology and the upcoming The Positive Shift]. She is known as “The Happiness Professor.” Sanderson explained that there are 10 ways to increase your everyday happiness, according to decades worth of scientific research:

1. Make little changes in your daily routine, such as getting more sleep, exercising, getting out into nature, and meditating.

2. Read more books. Read books to learn—research suggests that lifelong learners remain healthy and engaged, and live long lives. Read books as an escape from your everyday life, Read books—it will make you happy.

3. Find your right fit or match, both personally and professionally. If you love what you do and who you are with, you’ll position yourself for personal happiness and professional success.

4. Be grateful. Sanderson suggested two specific activities to help foster a greater sense of gratitude. First, keep a daily gratitude journal. Second, pay a “gratitude visit” to someone from your past who has had a significant impact on your life, and let them know how you feel.

5. Smile more—even if you don’t feel like it. Research shows that the simple act of smiling can trick your brain into a happier state.

6. Relish simple, everyday moments. Appreciating life’s small moments, such as a beautiful, sunny day, green shoots sprouting from the ground, and skipping rocks at the beach, teaches you to be more grateful for what you have, especially during moments of stress and angst.

7. Perform random acts of kindness. Do good deeds. Volunteer. Be charitable. Shop (for someone else!). Numerous studies have shown that you can help yourself by doing good for others.

8. Spend money on experiences versus things. Studies have shown that buying an object—a car, handbag, or kitchen gadget—can quickly lead to buyer’s remorse. On the other hand, investing in experiences—a concert, a camping trip, music lessons—leads to greater happiness. Experiences create “happiness residue,” and our perceptions of them often get better over time.

9. Avoid comparisons. Whatever you may think of someone else’s life, particularly as viewed through the phony, filtered lens of social media, it’s almost certainly messier than you imagine. It’s easier to embrace, and learn to love, your own imperfections, if you don’t conjure up myths about how perfect everyone else’s lives seem.

10. Build and maintain close relationships. According to Sanderson, having a small number of tight, meaningful relationships is one of the highest predictor of happiness.

Don’t feel bad if you lose sight of some of these happiness priorities—we all do. We have to battle relentless marketing and societal expectations that suggest that the path to happiness lies elsewhere.

People are exposed to many messages that encourage them to believe that a change of weight, scent, hair color (or coverage), car, clothes, or many other aspects will produce a marked improvement in their happiness. Our research suggests a moral, and a warning: Nothing that you focus on will make as much difference as you think. —Daniel Kahneman

Don’t over-complicate your pursuit of happiness. As the research suggests, it’s the simple things that matter most. Make happiness a habit that is within your control, rather than seeking it from external sources. Life is nothing but a series of moments, both big and small, and the key to happiness lies is living each one with purpose and intention.

(via Want to Lead a Happy Life? Science Says to Focus on These 10 Things.)

[karenwaltman117-blog]

Five Reasons Why People Love group.

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10 group That Will Really Make Your Life Better.

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Ten Indicators You love team.

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