#What Does It Mean When A Cat Sprays In The House

[skrunksthatwunk]

found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?

[lovelivision]

SLEEP OVER PT.1

pairing: fushiguro toji/reader

wc: 2.3k

summary: staying the night at your boyfriends place for the first time is nervewracking, especially when he seems to feel a certain way about you wearing his clothes

a/n; dilf dilf dilf dilf dilf dilf...uhm anyways...i lurv toji a lot and i needed to write something for him, i thought it would fix me but it may have made me worse :D also, i would like to write a part 2 for this maybe :3

warnings: 18+ only, smut, established relationship, tiny bit of possessiveness, (minor) size difference kink, heavy petting, dry humping, afab!reader, no use of pronouns or y/n, nicknames used; doll, ma'am (once in a joking way)

MDNI | SMUT UNDER CUT

Hovering in Toji’s kitchen, you try to make yourself seem more relaxed, you’ve been in his house plenty of times now but this time is different. This is the first time you’re staying the night, alone, in his house, with him.

Besides heavy petting, nothing more has ever happened between the two of you, to say you have expectations is an understatement. It doesn’t have to happen but you’ve been together for a little bit now and there’s only so long you can hold out, you mean, have you seen Toji?

He’s been patient, you were initially the one who said you didn’t want to rush things, you were scared of just being a lay and asked him to wait until you felt ready, which he has respected. He’s respected it…too well, barely making out before he’s parting from you. The sexual frustration you’ve been feeling has you wound so tight that you might literally implode as soon as he touches you.

From across the counter separating you, he teases, “You gonna help me over here? Or did you propose baking together just to watch me do it for you?”

“Well… I am enjoying the view,” you flirt back, playing off the stiffness in your joints.

He raises a brow at you, “How about you flirt with me while whisking that bowl right there,” he nods down to the bowl just off to his side.

“Yessir,” you stand at attention and throw a little salute his way.

When you round the bench to stand next to him, he bumps into your shoulder with his own, “You feeling okay, doll?”

You hum and look up at him, “Yeah, I’m good.”

It’s mostly quiet after that, aside from small talk and teasing remarks made while you finish prepping the ingredients. You told him that sleepovers needed brownies and he went out and bought stuff to make them, it was incredibly sweet and made you almost swoon on the spot when you showed up and he told you what he’d done.

Unluckily for you and your clumsy nature, his sink sprays a bunch of water down your front as you’re washing a dish. You let out an unceremonious squeaking sound at the sudden rush of cold running all the way down your pyjama shirt, to your pants.

The bowl Toji was holding clatters a bit as he drops it to be at your side, “What happened?” He asks before seeing your drenched clothes, an amused smile taking place where his concern was sitting, “You’re not much help in the kitchen, huh?”

“Hey!” you frown at him, “I am perfectly helpful, thank you very much. It’s not my fault your sink hates me.” You feel like a wet cat under his gaze, “What am I meant to do now? These are the only pyjamas I bought with me,” you pout slightly, looking down at your ruined clothes.

“Just wear something of mine,” he shrugs easily.

The idea of wearing his comfortable clothes makes your skin buzz, “Okay… thank you,” you mumble at him.

He scoffs at your sudden coyness, “You want me to pick something out for you or do you got it?”

“No, I got it,” you smile at him before turning to wander through the house to his room.

Shuffling through his drawers, you find a shirt and some sweatpants to wear. They’re large on you, the whole look incredibly baggy, having to pull the drawstrings on his sweats a bit tighter to make sure they stay up. You feel better though, warm, you hope he won’t mind but you had to borrow a pair of his boxers as well…

When you walk back into the kitchen, Toji does a double take on you, his eyes widening slightly, “You comfy?”

“Very,” you walk up to him, “You finish with the brownie mix?”

He stares at you for a moment before replying, “…Yeah, they’re in the oven.”

“Nice, putting the mix in the tray is my least favourite part, it’s always so sticky and messy and I end up getting frustrated because it won’t all go in and then I need another spoon to get the mix off the spatula and then I have to go back and forth…” You trail off, noticing he’s not really paying attention to what you’re saying, he is looking at you though, “Toji, Something wrong?”

He considers you for a moment, “You look cute,” is all he says.

You feel shy under his gaze now, not expecting him to compliment you so sincerely, “So do you?”

He barks a laugh at your clumsy compliment, “Alright, wanna watch something while we wait?” He changes the topic.

“Sure!”

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

He’s not as subtle as he thinks he is, his hand rests on your thigh, rubbing his thumb in circles but just because he’s not subtle doesn’t mean it’s not working. The tv plays some movie in front of the pair of you but you can’t pay attention, you’ve not retained a single plot point, his warm hand on your thigh is all you can feel, all you can register.

You have a feeling you’re going to have to be the one to break this, the weird limbo you’re both in. Turning your head to the side and looking up, you aren’t ready for how he’s already looking down at you, his hand on your thigh reaches for the side of your face, cradling you gently. He moves in slowly, giving you the chance to pull back in protest if you don’t want him to kiss you.

You want it though and lean up the rest of the way, kissing him deeply, wanting to put your lips on him for nearly the whole time you’ve been here. He meets your eagerness, his hand holding you more firmly, his tongue licking into your mouth, wanting to taste you. His body moves into yours more, his other hand grabbing at your hip.

His kisses grow rushed and he ends up trailing them to your neck, kissing and licking along the exposed skin there. The hand on your face angles you to his will, manoeuvring you every which way so he can get his lips on whatever part of you he desires.

Huffed out whine leave you at the way he nips at your skin, he has enough of the odd angle and pulls you onto his lap completely, sitting back as his hands roam your body over his clothes.

“Toji,” you whine out his name.

His eyes look into yours, “Do you need me to stop?”

Shaking your head at him, you say, “No, I need more…”

“You really do look cute in my clothes,” he murmurs, leaning in again and pressing a full kiss to your lips, “You look comfortable… all wrapped up in my clothes.” He reiterates that they are in fact his clothes you’re wearing.

His hands move under the large shirt, groping at your bare skin, delighting in the warmth and plushness of you. Your body breaks out in goose bumps as a noticeable shiver runs down your spine, his touch electrifying to you.

“My, how sensitive you are,” he teases you, a self-satisfied grin making its way onto his face.

“Shut up,” you snark back, “Just… kiss me again?”

His smile grows, “Yes ma’am,” he jokes before kissing you again.

You’re getting lost in it, in the feel of his lips on yours, it’s making you dizzy and needy. Your hips grind down into his on their own accord and Toji moans against you, surprised by the sudden friction. Recovering quickly, his hands grab your hips and encourage you to keep going, your clothed cunt dragging up and down his covered cock has spots in your vision.

Your hands grip the fabric of his shirt tight, your lips disconnecting from his every time you moan, only for him to press them back together. His dick twitches in his pants, painfully erect and sensitive, he has a feeling he could cum like this.

This is the furthest the two of you have gone so far and he’s not wasting this opportunity, he needs to see you cum, he needs to hear it. The grip he has on you is harsh, his hips rut up into yours which results in the most pathetic sound he’s ever heard coming from you… he needs more.  

Pulling back, you whinge, “Toji~ I wan– t more… I want more.”

“Well… I want you to cum while wearing my clothes,” he counters.

You gasp at his blunt words, “I–”

You don’t get the chance to finish your thought, his hips thrusting up, the shock delicious. His dick is leaking profusely in his pants, he’s way too sensitive right now, for his grown age. You’d asked to go slow and he complied but that didn’t mean he didn’t have to furiously jerk himself off after your visits.

Toji’s boxers are uncomfortably wet against your core, slick and stuck to your pussy with how worked up he’s gotten you. All the layers are upsetting you; you just want one less layer, his pants, your pants, you don’t care, you just need more.

“Toji, lemme take off the sweats, please, please, please,” you all but beg at him.

“No. Told you,” he scolds, “I want you cumming in my clothes.”

“Mmm but…” You hesitate.

You’ve caught his interest, quirking a brow at you, he asks, “But what?”

You decide to tell him even though you’re a little embarrassed, “I’m also wearing your boxers.”

He holds you still against him, a sound of objection coming from you at the lack of friction, “You’re wearing my boxers?”

You nod quickly, hoping for this line of questioning to be done soon, “I am.”

“Why?”

You look down, to where you’re sat on top of him, his large cock strained against his pants, you falter slightly in your answer, distracted. Toji’s hand tapping against your thigh brings you back, “Mine were wet from the sink…”

He tugs at the sweats, “Take these off, right now.”

Standing on wobbly legs, you undo the drawstring on his pants and slip them down.

Toji groans at the sight of your bare legs, “Lift up my shirt,” he directs.

Which you do, biting your lip, trying to fight off the urge to run away in embarrassment. Your hands hold his shirt up slightly, exposing to him how you’re wearing his boxers.

His eyes scan your lower half carefully, his heart stuttering in is chest. His light grey boxers dark where your arousal has pooled, “Fuck, come here,” he pats his lap, grabbing you when you’re close enough. “You’re so fucking wet, doll, shit.”

When you’re back on his lap, he wastes no time, his cock rubs between your folds, parting them from under his boxers, the friction different and consuming. This feels so much better than before, it feels almost intense after getting minimal sensation.

“Toji~ I don’t think I’ll last long like this,” you admit, feeling shame from how pathetic you must seem.

“Good,” he groans, his hips thrusting up into yours while his hands drag you back and forth on his cock, “I won’t either.”

To hear he’s just as effected by this as you are makes your cunt pulse around nothing, a whimper leaving you from how pathetically empty you feel, “I still want more,” you pout.

“Later,” he promises.

Your skin buzzes and your stomach clenches, your fingers dig into his shoulders, feeling impossibly close to finishing. Your eyes grow dazed, hot, huffed breaths leaving your parted lips. The sight has Toji’s cock twitching profusely, barely fighting off his orgasm, wanting to see you cum first.

“Come on, doll, I need to see it,” he tugs you quicker, your slick cunt sliding easily against his pants, the wetness seeping through the boxers onto them, “I need to see you cum for me.”

You shudder at his words, “I’m gonna–”

One of his hands leave your hip and slides to your face, his thumb pressing past your lips, you take it and suck on it, tongue licking the pad of it gently. A moan from deep in his chest rumbles under your hands, it’s all too much. Your cunt flutters against him and your eyes roll back, moans muffled around his thumb as your cum gushes from your pussy, coating his boxers even more.

Toji can’t help but watch, he’s watching you so closely, his cock cumming very suddenly. Your orgasm, the dumb look in your eyes, the flutter of your lashes, the shake in your body as you cum in his clothes undoes him. His own cum seeps into his pants, a large, wet stain growing on his sweats as his dick jerks with his orgasm.

He pulls his thumb from your mouth, dragging your lower lip down with it, “Fuck,” he bites out.

He rides out both your highs, lightly grinding his hips up into you as you both come down. Your form collapses into him, curling yourself around him. His arms wrap around you, holding you close as you jolt every now and again, it’s cute, he thinks.

You lay peacefully like this for a moment before you remember, “The brownies,” you try to pull yourself away from him.

“They’re fine, oven went off only a moment ago,” he hums.

“I’ll go grab them then,” you say.

“Alright, shaky, off you go,” he mocks you and your jelly legs.

Pulling back, you frown at him, “I will.”

He just smiles knowingly at you.

Crawling off him carefully, you stand on your shaky legs momentarily before sitting back down on the couch next to him, “Maybe you should go get them.”

“Mhm,” he answers, leaning over he presses a kiss to your cheek, “That’s what I thought.”

You cross your arms over your chest and scowl at him, pretending to be more upset than you actually are.

Toji goes into the kitchen and pulls the brownies out, he calls over to you, “So… I hope you like the corners of your brownies a little crispy.”

You can’t help but laugh at that.

PLAGIARISM NOT CONDONED | REPOSTS NOT AUTHORISED

[ratiocowmilk]

another omegaverse au, but this time with aventio!!! wait don't leave

I've been thinking about what designations to give to them, but I've decided on Aventurine being a beta (and only a beta) and Ratio being an omega.

In my rendition of this au, betas have muted scents and can't smell other scents as well as omegas and alphas do. What is interesting, however, is if a beta mates with either an alpha or an omega, they can smell their partners scent in full and vice-versa. This works between betas as well.

More under the cut.

Aventurine being a beta would mean he luckily does not need to deal with heats or ruts. What he does need to deal with is having to take on extra work when his alpha and omega colleagues are on leave. So, how lucky is he truly? He's about as "normal" as can be in this world, though that causes him some issues down the line.

Ratio being an omega means he will have to deal with heats, obviously. It annoys him to no end when he's forced to take a week off work every time it happens. There are suppressants, but those that block heats from happening are dangerous and off the official markets. At most, the safe brands can stave it off for a few hours. Unfortunately, that is not the only issue regarding his dynamic. For him specifically, his scent is overbearing compared to other omegas. He has to wear patches to block it out, but even then his scent is still obvious. It has caused safety issues in the past, and he has prepared himself for any issues in the future.

When they first meet, Ratio is prepared for the worst. But when Aventurine simply looks surprised for a moment and continues on as normal, he's confused for a moment and eventually relaxes. Aventurine, on the other hand, is struggling to keep his pokerface up as he breathes in the scent. It's the strongest he's ever experienced, and they're not even mated yet! (Wait yet–?)

And then shortly after, the events of the Final Victor lc happen. And Aventurine doesn't regret it, but this time, he is able to smell the apprehension in someone's scent, so perhaps he's feeling slightly guilty about it.

As they keep working together, Ratio and Aventurine get closer. Ratio decides it's safe to drop his guard around him. Aventio notices and is feeling like the cat that got the cream. As the relationship progresses, they start making house visits. Eventually, Aventurine shows up unannounced at Ratio's residence and gets hit with his unobstructed scent. It's like getting perfume sprayed in your face, but it's somehow pleasant? Ratio goes to put on his scent patches, but Aventurine tells him it's fine. It definitely is. So he sits for an hour or two essentially bathing in it, until he gets called in for work. As soon as he steps in, everyone automatically assumes he got laid.

When Penacony rolls around, that's when things change. In the Dreamscape, everyone's scent is muted. Everyone's. The Family says it's to prevent issues from impacting guest experience, but who knows for sure. When they first step foot in there, Aventurine almost drops the act when he notices that he can't smell Ratio anymore. As they act out their plan, he struggles with the fact that the scent he got attached to was gone. It's not like he needs it to understand him, but it's a bit disorienting. It's probably worse than whatever bullshit Sunday threw at him, in his humble opinion.

So when they get back to reality, Aventurine sticks to him like a koala and buries his face into Ratio's scent gland. They exchange a few words like that, and when Aventurine finally lifts his head, they kiss.

(Extra: When they start dating, Aventurine doesn't get why Ratio wants his belonging in the nest if his scent is muted and they haven't officially mated yet. When he asks him, Ratio gets embarrassed for whatever reason. He'll learn the reason eventually.)

(It's less about the scent and more about the fact that it proves he's still here, choosing to stay.)

[quinloki]

My apolocheese in advance for this, but all 50??? 😀 (Excluding any you may have answered already and/or don't feel up to answer)

Feel free to discard this ask entirely, or answer it in portions whenever you have energy. Whatever works for you. ^^ Just don't overwork yourself (ironic ik, coming from the guy who's asking for all 50, but I can't help it <3)

You know what - sure. XD

I'm going to put this below a cut though, cause whew!

who is/are your comfort character(s)? Marco definitely, but I find comfort in a lot of characters, so I should include Kid, Sabo, Crocodile, Doflamingo, Thatch, Penguin and Law in there too.

lighter or matches? Man I love a good zippo, but nothing beats the smell of a match, so I'll have to go with matches

do you leave the window open at night? Not unless I absolutely have to.

which cryptyd being do you believe in? Are ghosts as a general classification close enough? I've seen like three, but I haven't seen any other cryptids.

what color are your eyes? Brown ^_^

why did you do that? Sometimes I do not even know. I let go of a pot the other day for no good damned reason and was just glad it was empty.

hair-ties or scrunchies? Hair-ties. There's no scrunchie in this 'Verse that can contain my hair.

how many water bottles are in your room right now? In my room like my bedroom? Or as in the room I'm in right now? In either case it's zero. I have this spiffy mason jar monstrosity for water and it's down in the kitchen atm.

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee? Caffeine, honestly, is what I prefer XD Coffee's crap unless I make it myself so I don't even really register the flavor of it most of time.

would you slaughter the rich? Hm... ... no. I can't say I'd protect or defend them, but my sinful ass isn't going to go around casting judgements on others, no matter if I think they deserve it or not.

favorite extracurricular activity? >.> <.< I mean... I can't really say anything other than sex at this point.

what kind of day is it? A middling Sunday. The sun is pleasant, my cats are napping and look egregiously adorable, but there's still the weight of unemployment on the house, so it's middling.

when was the last time you ate? About 5 minutes or so ago. Rice and veggies.

do you love the smell of earth after it rains? Most certainly ^_^

are you a parent? (all answers qualify) lol not even a little.

can you drive? Better than most. My grandfather taught me with a bag of apples, but I don't really enjoy driving so I don't do it much.

are you farsighted or nearsighted? Whichever it is that needs glasses to see.

what hair products do you use? Cheap ones >.>

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails? If you wanted, certainly, but I have bit my nails since I was 8 so my skill at nail painting does not exist ^_^;

do you say soda or pop? Previously answered, but the short answer is soda.

something you’ve kept since childhood? My friend John. We became friends when we were 5 and 6 and I still play D&D with him on the weekends.

what type of person are you? A lucky one.

how do you feel about chilly weather? Previously answered, but I love winter and autumn

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing? Probably stargazing. Which I stand by because you're not getting me on a roof when the sun's up.

perfume/body spray or lotion? I... uh... none?

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times? Like, in my mind? Ah, I licked a guy's nipples for so long he asked me if I was enjoying myself, and instead of saying yes like a boss, I got flustered and it killed the mood. Alas.

about how many hours of sleep did you get? ... 6? I think.

do you wear a mask? When I leave the house, yeah.

how do you like your shower water? Flesh-meltingly hot.

is there dishes in your room? Yes, but only because I just finished eating veggies and rice before I started answering this.

what type of music keeps you grounded? Previously answered, but I really do listen to all of it.

do you have a favorite towel? Nah. I have a favorite spatula though.

the last adventure you’ve been on? My spouse and I went on a 14 day road trip before the pandemic hit and I think between the states and Canada we traveled something like 5,490 miles or so.

is there a song you know every word to by heart? Don't Let It Bring You Down by Annie Lennox

what’s your timezone? East Coast

how many times have you changed your url? 0 - and I don't foresee it happening either.

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years? My aforementioned bestie, but also my lil' "brother" who is not really technically my brother, but who has known me since he was 14 and I was 17, and my D&D group has been together for over 10 years now, so that's like 11 or so more people.

a soap bar that smells good? I use cheap liquid soap, sorry ^^;

do you use lip balm? Nope.

did you have any snacks today? Yes, a pear.

how do you take your coffee? Any way I can get it. Black is preferred though.

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site? Discord, maybe I imagine.

what’s your take on spicy foods? I am weak, my family is weak, my ancestors were weak, but I will sniffle and cry and sob the entire time because it's fucking delicious

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it? Sadly, they suffer more alive than dead, so >.>

can you remember what happened yesterday? Well enough I'm not worried about early on set dementia.

favorite holiday film? I was gonna say Die Hard, but then it made me think of The Last Unicorn and so I'mma go with that.

what was the last message you sent? Cheering on family who did early voting.

when did you first try an alcohol beverage? Supervised - 12 Because no one was there to stop me, 15.

can you skip rocks? I can trip over rocks, but that's about as skillful as I get. ^_^

can i tag you in random stuff? Certainly - I cannot promise I'll always know how to reply, but I actually really appreciate being tagged because I miss stuff easily.

[itsalmostavengers]

“I still hate you,” Tony mutters, voice shaky and entirely unconvinced while his hand expertly unbuckles the clasps of the uniform he designed so carefully, months and months and months ago.

“I know,” Steve responds gruffly. His beard scratches Tony’s jaw as those perfect teeth run down the thin skin of his neck, trace his jugular. His hands are rough iron clamps against each side of Tony’s beautifully tailored Versace two-piece. The fabric will be ruined beyond repair in less than ten minutes - Tony could bet his fortune on it.

They’ve played this stupid game before. Every time, Tony swears it’ll be the last.

Steve hitches him up onto the kitchen counter of the ridiculous New Jersey safehouse, and Tony goes willingly, yanking Steve into the open spread of his legs. This is the closest Steve’s gotten to New York since he first read those damned accords. The closest he can get to home is some 1965-styled kitchenette with pictures of old-timey adverts lining the walls and a microwave that’d probably irradiate you if you went near it.

It’s wrong- all of it. But there’s no changing it. Steve made his choice long ago, and Tony hates him for it. He should remember that. He should tell Steve that again.

“Fuck, God, Steve,” is what comes out instead, breathed against the other man’s mouth. Tony’s whole body is hot, taught, desperate, and he tugs the top half of Steve’s uniform off his torso. Steve spray painted over the colours- the whole thing is dark now, void of any trace of what it used to be. Tony hates that too.

“Tony,” Steve says, like there’s more to it- a name at the beginning of a sentence which never comes out. He clasps his teeth over Tony’s bottom lip, pushes his hands under Tony’s rapidly-wrinkling shirt and brushes his thumbs over each nipple, rubbing quick circles. The movement pulls another noise from Tony’s throat.

Fuck- the man knows him.

Steve steadies himself for a moment to catch his breath, nose brushing against Tony’s. Tony tries not to look into his eyes, whenever they do this. He’s never been good at seeing Steve’s soul - the one he never tries to hide, to mask. He’s not like Tony, you see. Everything he does, he does earnestly and from the heart.

The decision he made to leave with Bucky - to keep the culprit of Tony’s parents’ deaths a secret from him - they’d both come from that same heart. Hence, no eye contact. Tony has no desire to see how truly insignificant the space he takes up in Steve’s soul was.

Except now.

He does it without meaning to- just catching sight of those infuriating baby blues as he leans in for another messy kiss. Error number 1.

Error number 2 is not shutting his damn eyes and grabbing Steve’s dick like he normally does.

And error number 3 is the worst. Error number 3 is when he catches sight of Steve’s suddenly agonised expression, doesn’t ignore it, and instead asks “what?” Thus inviting conversation. They don’t come here for that. They come here to fuck eachother’s brains out for a night and then keep playing their cat-and-mouse chase across the globe as if anyone in a position of authority actually fucking believes it.

Steve goes perfectly still for a moment. Then he swallows. “This… this really makes you miserable, doesn’t it.”

He doesn’t frame it like a question.

Tony looks up at him, breathing hard. “Oh, I’m sorry I’m not looking ecstatic while getting groped by my ex boyfriend in a place that’s decked out like a prop house in a nuclear testing site. Would you prefer for me to giggle jovially while you fuck me amongst the dust and cobwebs?”

They’d used to have sex that was so full of love. This is how Tony always talks to Steve, now.

Steve shakes his head, a minute, grieving little thing. Tony feels the man’s breath skating across his face- feels the warmth of his bare chest, his shoulders, pressing against Tony.

“I thought…” he begins, then trails off for a moment as Tony skirts his hands down his chest, unlatches his belt. “I thought this made you happy. At least a little bit, even if you didn’t admit it. But it doesn’t. ”

Of course it doesn’t. But it’s all I have left of you.

“You think I’m coming here to find happiness? Jesus Steve. I’m coming here for tension relief,” Tony says, because he just can’t be truthful- he did his best when they were together, he really did, and it all failed anyway. Besides: Steve was never as truthful as Tony had always so fervently believed him to be either. “How about we both just stop talking and get down to that part.”

He gets his hands all the way to Steve’s boxers before Steve stops him- a gentle yet utterly unmoving grip. When Tony looks up at him again, Steve shakes his head. He’s grey in the face- if Tony didn’t know better now, he’d even say heartbroken.

“Tony, I…” Steve’s struggling for the words and he looks so beautiful, so so beautiful, just the same as the very first time Tony laid eyes on his photograph in the SHIELD folder he’d hacked his way into. “I didn’t realise you felt that way. Or maybe I did, but just didn’t want to acknowledge it because I was selfish.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I can’t do this with you. To you.” Steve steps away jerkily, half his body lagging while the other half pulls, as if warring with his own system. His pale skin is patchy, covered in faint marks where Tony has grabbed him. “I thought we were both doing this for enjoyment, but you’re not, and so I can’t. It’s cruel.”

Tony realises what Steve is implying here. His heart - what’s left of the poor thing anyway - convulses in panic, and he stumbles off the counter. “I’m not a fucking dog,” he snaps, “I make my own choices.”

“You don’t even look at me,” Steve’s voice breaks then. “I wished more than anything that you’d look at me. But I just saw it, then, when you did.”

“Saw what?”

They’re facing off against one another now - it’s like they can’t stop themselves. They have to be on either side of the argument, they can never just agree, no matter how hard they both want to. Tony hates and hates and hates.

“Your eyes don’t lie to me, Tony.” Steve’s voice is soft, and he says it like that alone is enough. “Your mouth does. And you don’t want this.”

“See, do you see what you’re doing here, again?” Tony steps forward, smashes his finger against the place where the star used to sit proudly on Steve’s chest. “You’re making an executive decision about how I feel, as to what I need, when you don’t have that right. You don’t get to decide what’s best for me!”

“But you never do what’s best for you!” Steve’s hands flail helplessly. “You do what’s best for everyone else, or what you think you deserve, and you never think about how it’s going to hurt—“

“I DESERVED TO KNOW MY PARENTS WERE MURDERED, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!”

Tony was supposed to be making his way to an orgasm right about now - instead he suddenly feels so angry he can hardly breathe. Fucking typical. He just had to go and open his mouth, didn’t he?

He glares at the man who tore his heart out over a year ago. Steve looks back, his expression shattered. Tony feels angrier still when he realises that he’s never going to be able to see this person in front of him and not love him. He’s trying so hard, right now, and he can’t. Even after all this. He can’t find it in him.

“Just fuck me,” Tony says, and it comes out more exhausted than demanding.

Steve shakes his head. “I can’t.”

Right. Steve’s made up his mind about what’s best for tony. Again. Was it ever going to go any other way?

Sometimes, the tiredness goes so deep that Tony starts to feel it in his bones. His therapist says it’s psychosomatic- that bones don’t actually creak and groan like wooden doors in abandoned houses. Tony begs to differ.

“If we stop now, this is the last time you’ll ever see me,” he says, hoping, even now, that maybe something will change. That maybe for once, Steve will just put him first.

It’s a pipe dream. Tony comes to that realisation as soon as Steve shakes his head. Stupid.

“Maybe that’s for the best.” Steve’s voice is hoarse. Like each word is painful. Tony wishes that were true - in reality, he doesn’t doubt Steve is just wary of the fight his words will bring - the argument that’ll erupt out of Tony’s mouth in response.

But Tony’s done fighting. It’s a losing battle. Always has been.

He looks at Steve. Nods.

He walks out of the door without another word.

[torusdove]

I'm doing my best to stop being a lurker, so here are some Nanami headcannons, pls forgive me if my English isn't the best, it's not my first language 🙏🏽

Nanami HATES it when someone calls you his girlfriend, something inside him dies everytime someone calls you that, it's too casual for him, that's his WIFE bro even if she isn't (yet)

Nanami is chronic sweater and cardigan wearer

Nanami isn't a fan of strong fragrances, however he still smells VERY VERY clean, sometimes, SOMETIMES he'll wear the woodsy cologne that you got him for special occasions, and even then, it's 2 sprays

Pls excuse my English 🙏🏽

Your English is perfect, don't you worry about a thing, sweetheart!

I wholeheartedly agree with the first oneee!! I don't even see Kento dating someone when he doesn't see a future with that person (I am fully convinced he wants the whole traditional way: get married, buy a house, two, maybe three kids, two cats and a big yard). So, it's not really a surprise that he calls you wifey, even if you're only just dating.

Honestly, about the sweater and cardigan.. yes and no. I view Kento as an old money kind of guy, if you know what I mean. His style is sleek, formal but also casual (if you want me to show you pictures of what I mean, do let me know).

The last one I disagree with! Yes, Kento is very very very clean and smells nicely, however, he does love his parfume. I see him using woody, leather scents and musk. Something dark and heavy, very masculine (Dior Sauvage or Terre d'Hermès).

[theriu]

What advice do you have for someone who wishes to (eventually, as soon as she has both the space and the money) have a cat, but who has never had a pet before?

Oh goodness, I don’t feel like an expert but I will do my best! Here’s a few tips I can think of from my own experiences:

1) Decide how okay you are with shedding. Of my two cats, the long-haired one obviously sheds a lot more noticeably, and it can be a bit aggravating to find clumps of fur all over the carpet. Hard floors can make this less of a nuisance since you can sweep it up easily, but if you have a lot of carpet, I’d suggest a short-hair cat unless you just SUPER LOVE long-hairs. Of course, my cats were both strays so those kinds of considerations didn’t really factor in. 😅

2. Determine if you want a cat that is indoor/outdoor or indoor only. Now, there is a lot of argument against letting cats run free outdoors, but I used to live out on a farm right next to a trailer park full of stray cats, so a few more (all fixed) weren’t going to make much difference to the local wildlife. Once I moved into town, though, I rehomed my one cat I knew would be miserable being indoor-only, and the other two have adapted pretty well to being indoor cats. (They do try and sneak out the door sometimes, though.) I did this mainly because risks like being hit by cars or being mistaken for a stray and adopted by some well-meaning person are much higher in town. They are still risks elsewhere, though, so keep a collar on your cat, and consider getting it microchipped. Also, know that you will probably need to get the cat some extra shots, for diseases they can only get outside. Also also, make sure you spay/neuter! (The kitten issue aside, female cats are so WEIRD when they are in heat!)

For indoor cats, my house has stairs the cats can run up and down and they seem to stay in good shape, but just make sure they have some kind of ability to exercise if they can’t run much. Stimulating things like feeder dishes that make the cat work for its food can help mentally and with keeping them from overeating. (I got this neat feeding bowl that is actually a holder of five cups of varying sizes that get filled with food, and the cats have to paw it out of the cups. It’s really helped with how fast they were eating.)

3. Cats have very different personalities, so I think it’s good to try and figure out what a cat is like before adopting it. I kept all my cats because they were really friendly compared to other cats I had known. Of course, there is the issue where my two current cats don’t always get along, but they at least don’t get into full-on brawls. But if you don’t have any other pets when you get the cat, this should be easier - you only have to get it used to you! Cats don’t always show friendlieness by cuddling; a lot of times, they just want to be in the room with you. But if you’re looking for a cuddler, see if you can find one that isn’t too afraid of people and will come right up for petting. When introducing it to your home, give it plenty of space and time to get used to its new surroundings and roommate.

4. Remembering to feed and water and change the cat litter can be hard, especially if you have ADHD. >.> My solution on the water front has been to fill a large decorative bowl in the living room and the cats just drink off that. XD For the food, Stormy will always remind me when she thinks the food is low (this is generally a false alarm the first couple times, the drama queen). Make sure you clean the litter box frequently, or the cats may find other, less agreeable locations to go. 8/ (Such as, oh I don’t know, INSIDE THE DRYER ON MY CLEAN LAUNDRY) If your cat does pee somewhere, you want to get those pet cleaner sprays because they break down the stinky enzymes that make cat pee smell so bad for so LONG.

5. As mentioned, some cats are cuddlier than others, but here’s a few general tips on cat behavior: a slow blink is how they show they trust you. A cat rolling onto its back is also showing trust that you WON’T touch its vulnerable belly (but some cats do actually learn to love tummy rubs; you kinda have to figure that one out on a cat-by-cat basis). They often like being petted on the area over the hindquarters near the base of the tail, but they also have a lot of nerves there and can get overstimulated, so if a cat goes from letting you pet it to trying to bite your hand, it is probably telling you that petting needs to stop NOW because its nerves are going CRAZY. This can also involve some trial and error; my former cat Clyde still sometimes knee-jerk reacts to being petted, but my sister says he has never done it to her, so we think she just pets less firmly than I do. Meanwhile, Shuri has NEVER reacted poorly to petting, and in fact would love nothing more than for me to spend an hour petting her so hard that she squishes into the mattress.

6. Don’t waste money on fancy cat toys unless you have some indication your cat likes that kind of toy. (This may be different if you raise them with the fancy toys from kittenhood; mine were both strays and are Very Suspicous of anything fancy I get them.) Laser pointers are an INSTANT FAVORITE and only cost a few dollars! And a dangly thing on a string can usually get them excited. Cats will often prefer a plain cardboard box over a fancy catbed, but they like pillows and piles of clothes and chairs and couches and people beds. And sometimes the round puzzle you put together on top of your hope chest, because Borders Are Safe Zones.

7. GET SCRATCHING POSTS OR THEY WILL MAKE THEIR OWN. (They will probably make their own anyway; my couch is regretably covered in claw marks. But the scratching posts at least help slow the deterioration.) Fun Fact: Cats don’t use scratching posts to “sharpen” their claws, but rather to rub off the outer layers on their claws. If you trim your cat’s claws yourself, you may notice how the claws kind of flake off when clipped. Be very careful not to cut into the quick (the blood vessel) when trimming! If your cat strongly opposes this process, the vet can do it for you for a small fee, but I generally just wrap mine up in a towel and make them suffer the indignity. It’s cheaper for me and less stressful for them than a long car trip and a visit to the strange vet’s office would be. (And they always forgive me pretty immediately after I release them. I cannot speak for cats that may hold grudges.)

I’m sure I haven’t covered even a tenth of the useful info, but I hope these are helpful and that you find just the right cat buddy in the future! 😄

[mors-neptune]

707 / Luciel / Saeyoung Choi Headcanons I Have

‼️⚠️ SPOILERS AHEAD ⚠️‼️

• Has ADHD but if anyone brings it up he brushes it off because he thinks it makes him lesser. He’s not ableist he just needs to be educated :(

• I know in the official art he’s pretty pale but I hc him as having tanner skin and some freckles

• Has an undiagnosed personality disorder probably

• Too paranoid to go to church in person so he made a personal shrine in his home that he makes sure to spend time at

• Hates seeing his father on TV because it reminds him how similar they look. He’ll go into a weeks long depression every time where he’ll avoid mirrors because all he sees is his mother and father

• Loves cross dressing but is too scared to think deeply and self reflect about the gender euphoria it gives him because Korea isn’t very accepting

• Hated college because he felt like it was too structured and he doesn’t like being told what to do

• His favorite color is red (obviously)

• Doesn’t want or have any tattoos

• Most of the decor in his house was handmade impulsively and placed somewhere random

• Ultimately wants to move out of the bunker and into a more realistic house with no sci-fi-like doorbells or weapons but his paranoia stops him

• Sometimes stays up till the morning watching security cams in and around the bunker out of fear someone will try and hurt Saeran or MC

• Loves the dopamine hit that buying new cars gives him. It’s almost addicting impulse buying expensive things

• Desperately needs someone to match his neurodivergentness and thankfully his twin brother does perfectly

• His glasses are constantly dirty he never cleans those mfs

• Likes to paint his nails black but it’s always cracked and messed up

• Him and Saeran made up a secret language that they refuse to teach anyone else, even MC

• Welded flowers and spray painted them for him and MC’s anniversary (Saeran told him which flowers to make bc he knows their meanings)

• MC’s engagement ring is a Ruby (to represent Saeyoung) and whatever stone is MC’s favorite swirling together to look like a binary star system

• We know in his route that he has muscles because of his work, but after he runs from the agency, MC noticed some of his bulkiness going away

• But he still keeps a lot of his muscle, he just has some more squishiness around his torso

• Regrets his bunker not having windows because he knows Saeran loves looking at the sky

• Builds a garden in his backyard for Saeran :)

• Too paranoid to get a therapist so one of his more toxic traits is using MC as a therapist

• Goes through periods of not sharing anything emotionally with MC & sharing way too much and borderline dumping all his shit on them

• Has bad abandonment issues

• Loves experimenting with makeup and showing Saeran and MC

• Has both an inferiority and superiority complex

• Owns an obsessive amount of stuffed animals and yes, they all have names

• Idk if this is canon or not but he has curly hair

• I can’t believe I haven’t mentioned this already but I hc him as bisexual (he literally mentioned at some point that V’s voice was his type)

• And since it’s basically canon he at least finds V attractive and V is more of a parental/guardian figure to him, I can conclude Saeyoung 100% has daddy issues (duh)

• Has had feelings for Vanderwood at some point

• Horrible at personal hygiene

• Doesn’t drink or do drugs (canon)

• He’s a compulsive liar :/

• Wants a cat but is so bad at taking care of himself he doesn’t trust himself taking care of an animal

• Has staff constellation, and planet stickers & posters all over his room (he’s a nerd)

• Learns sign language so when he’s mad at MC or Saeran he only communicates through sign to piss them off

• Wayyyyyyy too comfy invading people’s personal and cyber privacy because of his line of work

• Lactose intolerant because I think it’s funny

• Light sleeper because of the house he grew up in and his work at the agency

• Kind of apathetic to traumatic things other people go through if it wasn’t as “bad” as his. Not in a “I think I’m better than you” kind of way, but in a way where some issues just don’t compare to an abusive, alcoholic mother, a politician father who wants to kill him, being a secret agent made to do who knows what, and more.

• Catches up on childhood by indulging in childish hobbies and interests. He’s making up for the lost time :(

• His tummy always hurts from his horrible diet

• His cologne smells like apple spice (it’s actually a perfume for women but who cares)

• But tbh on the daily he smells like a mix of his basic masculine body wash, honey buddah chips, and grease (sorry)

• Very protective. Takes on a caretaker role for those closest to him

• Sometimes very controlling. Gets anxious when he can’t control everything around him.

• Acts very parental towards Saeran. He always did because he had to in their childhood, but Saeyoing still does it. It makes him feel good being able to properly provide for Saeran.

• He mentioned in his route that he never really wanted or thought about having a family other than Saeran, and I feel like he would still think the same after meeting MC. Just now he thinks of his family as just him, Saeran, and MC. I don’t think he’d want kids

• Literally never cleans his sheets…

• Can only convince himself to clean anything in his house because he doesn’t want Saeran to have to live in filth again

My first post. I just wanted to share these :)

[nebulastarss]

The story for the catbatfam au: Part 1

The Waynes:

Martha and Thomas Wayne, newly married and excited for the future, bought a cat from Europe. Specifically a Savannah Cat from Britian. (Look them up please they're so cute and BIG) The cat was slightly distrustful at first, but warmed up over time. He had battle scars, tears in his ears for example. They named him Alfred, and thought of him as a friend. He was their emotional support. Now, it's been years, they're out of college, they're settled.

They also don't want kids. Martha grew up as a celebrity and has no idea what to give a kid but is pretty sure that whatever she would say would be wrong. Thomas is not home enough to fully support a kid without his wives help, and neither of them have the time to go to parenting classes, not to mention the paparazzi. (thank you Lady Gaga for teaching me how to spell paparazzi)

So they look at their older cat Alfred and they say (to their cat. They've been in the habit of talking to him like he's a person for years) "would you like to co-parent with us."

So they buy a kitten. A Maine Coon kitten that they name Bruce. Bruce is a well behaved boy, and Alfred quickly gets into the habit of following around the kitten to unsure he doesn't accidently cause any trouble.

(Hey how old is Alfred here? Cats don't live that long blah blah- shush. Age isn't real and cats are immortal. Screw logic)

Bruce grows up happy and loved, and without his owners dying because human!Bruce was the one to drag them to the theater in the first place. He never gets neutered but he never like. Does things that unneutered male cats do. He doesn't even spray??? Like they fully expected him to do that but he just doesn't. So they forget.

Bruce grows into a well-loved cat, and starts breaking out. At first they don't notice, but then he has mud under his claws, bits of leaves on his back. And no one knows how he's doing it. Alfred isn't spilling, that old man just leaves the room if questioned. Bruce doesn't seem to be getting into fights, no scratch marks or bitten ears, but they can't figure out how to keep him in.

One day, they hear scratching at the door, open it up.

Why is Bruce holding an American Shorthair kitten in his mouth. Where did you get that.

So they bring the baby to the vet, find a microchip. He belongs to 2 people who died today. Oh no. What do you mean there's dried human blood on the babies paws. Oh NO.

They bring the kitten home. The name Richard is on his microchip. He does not answer to Richard. One of the performers get in touch, asking if "Little Dickie" is doing ok. The kitten only answers to Dick. Thomas loves it, Martha is fondly exasperated for at least a week.

Bruce has gone full father. Dick is his kitten, 100%. The same way Alfred was clearly co-parenting, Bruce has labeled Alfred as a grandfather along with Martha and Thomas. They're overjoyed. They're grandparents to their kitty baby. He grew up so fast.

(The house keepers have a running joke, pretending Bruce is human and saying stuff like "Oh he didn't even finish college before settling down" "took an orphan off the streets, so selfless, just like his parents". All of the butlers and maids love their weird, eccentric family)

Dick keeps following Bruce on his ventures. (they've installed a large doggie door. If he's gonna get out, they can at least monitor it.) Online comes a video from the police Commissioner's private account, apparently Dick befriended his cat, Babs. Since the Wayne's are a public family, everyone knows who the Wayne cats are. And Bruce is pretty goddamn identifiable. (How many black and white Maine Coons are there in Gotham? Most likely: 1)

Dick gets fixed. They figure that Bruce being unfixed is what caused him to pick up Dick, a kitten in need. Like a weird, cat version of asexuality. They don't fix Bruce.

It's been a few months when Bruce picks up another one, a scruffy Cymric kitten with matted fur and a ripped color, faded tag reading Jason. His vet visit is actually pretty urgent, since he's clearly not doing great and has multiple infections. He was clearly not treated well by the people on the streets, having been kicked about at least once (by the Joker, which is where Bruce found him) They call the number on the back of the collar, and discover the Todd family.

A dead goon husband and struggling addict wife, who is not fit to look after herself let alone a cat. Faced with charges of animal neglect and abuse, Catherine goes to rehab. Once clean, she doesn't ask for him back as she feels she isn't responsible enough, and needs to work on herself more first. She does visit sometimes though.

Dick tries to play too roughly with Jason at first, but after some baps to the ears from Alfred, he calms down and lets Jason recover. Cuddles are mandatory tho. The kitten will be groomed and he is not getting out of it.

[offbranddrpepsi]

Hi! Loved your yandere chamber headcannons, could I request yandere reyna headcannons?

Fuck yeah lets go, Ill include SFW and NSFW with NSFW below the cut in case people/you want both.

warning: mentions of blood, she must nibble for she is reyna

Reyna is already a bit more aggressive, more forward, so her Yandere nature goes under the rug for the most part

As soon as shes gained interest in you shes always lurking, watching your heart beat through walls and coming in the moment it rises.

Shes touchy but thats normal with people she has affection for, but with you its possessive. She makes sure others see her giving you a kiss on the cheek or a head pat. When theres competition she has an arm around you, tapping her fingers rhythmically on you so the movement keeps the other persons focus

She knows you scent well, how your soul moves and hums. She uses this to keep tabs on you, being able to hunt you down the moment you're out of he sight, warning you to be careful the moment shes tracked you down.

If you come by here with even the hint of someone else on you, be it Yoru's cologne he sprayed liberally after training or Sage's office after a meeting, she is immediately on you. She hugs you, nuzzles you, and hangs around you until you smell of her again. You accuse her of sent marking you like a cat, neon even joins in on teasing her, but she can't deny it because well she is. She smells great so it's not really an issue if it lingers over you for a bit, who would hate smelling like roses and laundry?

Unlike how some others may be Reyna is very upfront and once you seem the smallest bit receptive of her advances she asks you out which is hard to refuse, shes gorgeous and caring and absolutely obsessed with you.

Reyna is a perfect girlfriend though a bit clingy and overbearing. She meets your needs, takes care of you, encourages you to be the best version of yourself, etc. Anything you could want in a partner she provides however it comes with a possessiveness that always seems to hug jealousy.

You aren't really allowed to go any where she isn't, she doesn't trust others to not go for you or hurt you. You have to tell her, and sometimes ask, about leaving the house which she always joins or makes you call her for the duration. She has lost so much and she will be damned if she loses you too so, despite it being concerning, you let it happen since it makes her feel safe.

Her room becomes yours. You're greeted with addictive kisses that sometimes involve blood as, yes, she bites as a form of affection. One such bite nearly always rests just above your collar, just enough to show you are owned. Reyna never makes you cover up but she sure as hell visually intimidates anyone that looks at you.

When it comes to removing anyone that would separate you two Reyna is like a well trained predator. People vanish without a trace, she and her sister get the souls they so desperately need, you stay safe in her claws without a chance to wiggle free. It's like a lioness keeping a stray gazelle in her den, eventually you don't feel the danger as she is entirely passive to you. Even if her works uncovered she can defend herself, after all she needs to eat and feed her sister and these people were bad people anyways so who cares if they go missing?

Reyna also absolutely does not let you out on the battlefield anymore. She fights Sage and Brimstone tooth and nail to get you removed from active service while she cries to you how her heart just can't take seeing you in danger. You are put on base duty which just means you are in charge of taking care of Reyna when she gets back, what ever that may mean, as well as sitting nice and pretty until she does.

She also does dress you to the nines, making sure you have the best version of what ever you want to wear. Reyna is stunning and has many events she goes to but you are so much more stunning wrapped around her arm. At these events she gifts you a specific set of jewelry to wear; a very nice choker with a purple diamond surrounded by gold, representative of her heart, with gold bangles that have a band of amethyst ran through them, and a black ring with a purple gem similar to the eye she summons to blind people. Eventually you wear the choker all the time and later the ring becomes your engagement ring. It is always so so very clear who you belong to and who pulls the strings in your life.

NSFW

The moment you let her claim your body it is everything she hungers for. She craves you more than she does souls and makes this well known, never hiding her need for you against her.

Of course she is an aggressive, borderline feral, lover. Your body is a patchwork of bites, claw marks, bruises. Her bites are not simple love bits, no, she draws blood and always does.

Your blood is heaven for her though she only ever takes a taste and makes sure to clean your wounds well. You look more like a cat bigger cat got you really well while playing too rough, which is kinda what happened. She often will ask for a taste as a pick me up, taking a little nibble of your neck before giving you an appreciative kiss and zooming off to do her work.

Because of how affectionate she is you are also well versed in how your own blood tastes as well as how your own fluids taste. She cant help herself as you moan and squirm against her, only being able to finish what shes doing before her mouths on yours. At first it was jarring but the more she did it the more you grew used to it, though she does still try not to get too much in your mouth as she doesn't want you to be sick.

Reyna must taste you so that becomes how she has you. Her mouth taking what ever it wishes for as long as it wishes. It is a mercy for her to fuck you and let you fall over the edge she keeps you on for so so long.

When ever you let her she will always take you be it behind a wall just away from others, in your workspace, the shower, your room; there is no where this woman wont fuck you.

Sadly she does often fuck you past your limits. It doesn't matter how much you plea with her, you are hers and she will have that the moment you let her and will not let up until shes satisfied. Her stamina is so much greater than yours so you are just a mess. You aren't her fuck toy, no she hates that, you are feeding her and of course if you're in distress she will stop and you do have a rarely used safe word. Most days you cant walk, your everything is sore, sometimes you look so messy you can't leave her bed until you've healed. No matter how much she does this you never seem to build up the stamina to match.

Regardless of how much she breaks you, she always makes sure to put you back together. She tends to you just as furiously as she fucks you, making sure you are perfectly prepped for your next encounter.

As a bit of herself she gives to you, she lets you decorate her for these events. You dress her, adorn her in jewels and gold, make her into the goddess she is so she can tear into you once again. She looks divine as she fucks you in any way possible, bringing you orgasm after orgasm all in exchange for a tiny amount of your blood at the start.

Of course she also makes you please her. Placing herself on your face she rides you until you are a mess. She lets you fuck her until you can't anymore and then turns to fuck you until shes pleased. Nights with Reyna often aren't nights but days but its euphoric and breaks you enough you cannot resist going again.

[ruthlesslistener]

Ello! Cat advice anon here, just checking in and hoping that i can help a bit more! Holy Moly, from 0 to 4 kit-kats is a LOT. I commend you for taking in so many, personally I've never had more than 2 at a time sharing the same house, so i can only imagine the chaos! An Experience indeed!

For the overly-cuddly Hwanggeum, I'd say it's either bc you're the "head of the house", so to say, or bc you're her favourite and have been till now showering her with most of the attention she's been wanting. Or it could be both. Blue, my oldest, has always presented to my father, but otherwise she always comes to me bc I'm her main source of affection.

I dunno what might stop Hwanggeum from rubbing on everything, since I haven't had this problem with mine (they're actually not very territorial with space as much as with us humans haha!), but maybe having a smell she doesn't like near the places you want to keep her from might help? Smt like sanitary alcohol or another pungent smell, maybe, which might also help with keeping the others from spraying everywhere.

The smell might fade with time, but the stains sure don't as easily 😣 Found that out the hard way when we discovered a hidden spot in the closet where one of them had peed in a while back, but the smell had faded after some time without us managing to find the source of the smell. Then we found some clothes stained and still emitting a slight odor and knew immediately there'd be no saving them 😓

Hopefully the cat you've managed to find a free spot for doesn't go in heat right before it bc otherwise you (or the shelter) might have to wait till after it ends. You might have gotten used to recognising signs of an incoming heat by now, but just in case, watch out for a sudden increase in demands for affection and loud vocalisations. Mine get real cuddly and all meowy about a week before the real thing hits, but it's obvious bc they're usually not super affectionate with us unless it's our nightly or morning cuddle session 😊 Then again, no two cats are the same, one of them is super clingy and the other super bitey 😂

We plan on spaying them soon, but haven't since my mom is (understandably but also frustratingly) overly cautious about the surgery and the aftermath and keeps thinking of worst case scenarios, but my sibling and I finally convinced her.

Anyway, one last piece of advice i have is playing. There's nothing like that hunting instinct activating and putting the hindbrain on the back burner, which is exactly what happens when you play with them with a string or a powered mouse or mini car (the younger one, Odette, loves a tiny truck i got from a kinder egg or something. its back wheels can be dragged back and released and it spins and twists as it goes) for them to chase.

I think that's all I have to offer, sadly, but, once again, hopefully smt does help outta all that rambling of mine. Wishing lots of love to all 4 of the babies and lots of patience to you and your qpp, you guys are doing your best ❤️❤️❤️❤️

From two snakes zero cats to four cats two snakes AND one umbrella cockatoo!! Would it surprise you if I told you that the cockatoo is the easiest of the new animals to deal with?? It's been a learning curve for sure-apart from the heat cycles, the two cats we're keeping both have vomiting issues (one from eating too much too fast, one from being unable to digest the dry food), so it's been a learning curve for sure. And ofc now that Hwanggeum is out of heat, Mochi is going into it, so it's been a domino effect of horny single ladies near me. Someone pissed on my bed just today, which means that I'm gonna have to go back to keeping my room closed off to the cats until it passes, and I feel bad about that bc miss old lady Fiona has taken a soft spot to sleeping on Toast's enclosure + my bed

Hwanggeum- who I've taken to calling Revelry bc she reminds me so much of my friend's DND character + she's silvered out of her golden kitten phase- def. has imprinted onto me, I think. She follows me around everywhere, wails when she can't see me, and tries to make my life as difficult as possible when I need to leave for work via climbing up my leg when she sees me getting ready. So I'm pretty sure that's why she was so clingy when in heat. Thankfully that's ended for now but *man* did it make working on anything difficult bc she turned into a velcro kitty for about a week- I've got minor scratches all up my legs and shoulders from her jumping on my back or climbing me

The problem I've personally found with her rubbing, though, is that these cats rub really aggressively on *everything*, to the point where I'm not sure how get the scent trick working. It's like, they'll rub on any surface they see, but then you make eye contact with them and they start to rub even more aggressively, knocking everything and themselves over in the process. It's fine with minor unbreakeable shit but very difficult when you're in the middle of painting something and they jump up onto your desk and start rubbing their cheeks against your lamp, paint jar, etc. I'm still trying to figure out how to handle that, since Mochi is twice the size of the others and has some real bulldozing power to her. I think we're fine with not missing the shelter spots bc we likely can't get a spot for the spays until mid August anyways, but yeah...I'm eager to get them spayed lol. If cost wasn't so prohibitive then it would have been done right away, but, well...the cheapest we found is 50 per spay, and that's via a mobile vet mobile that is currently unavailiable. And none of us have 150 dollars to get all 3 cats done, so waiting for the two getting adopted out to get their freebies + the clinic to come back for Rev is our only option. Toys ARE a great suggestion, though- I just need to find the ones that they have. They had a whole bunch of them they used to play kitty soccer with that seem to have mysteriously dissapeared, and we haven't the faintest idea where they've gone. I'm already planning on making a stick-and-mouse toy with some cleaned dropped branches and old scraps I've got lying around for sewing practice

Appreciate all your help and well wishes! Both of us are a little overwhelmed, but we're trying our best and making sure we communicate solutions to the problems. I'm going to try my best to get the piss outta my sheets but I appreciate the heads up about the staining lol

[novashelby]

100 Things Evie would have loved if she was thriving in her prime today~

A proper ADHD diagnosis.

Fidgets-especially the rainbow colored POP ITS.

Bubble wrap.

Bubbles....

Cat cafes

90's pop

7/11 slushies

7/11 Taquitos

Timothee Chalamet

XL Woopie Cushions

Try not to laugh challenges

Converse sneakers and normal trousers...for girls.

Shake and bake chicken

Food delivery apps

Frozen fish sticks

Disney World (Tommy: I'm not standing in those lines to go down a hill and say 'weee').

Fuzzy socks

slip n' slides (Grace: please don't hurt yourself....)

Beer pong....(Tommy: I didn't send you to UNI for this...)

Winning at beer pong (Tommy: At least you won...)

Karaoke nights at the bar (Ada: Oh no....)

male strip clubs (Polly: You need a chaperone...)

The electric slide....

The YMCA (Finn: Does she ever realize she's the only one dancing!? Evie: BUT LOOK AT ME GO!)

Dance, Dance revolution (Evie: TAKE THAT MOTHA FUCKA'! Finn: It's a...machine)

ROCK n ROLL

Dance offs

SUPER SIZE McDONALDS FRIES

Bottomless wings

Eating challenges

BOTTOMLESS MARGARITAS

Pride Month

Pogo sticks

90 Day Fiance (Finn: Stop making me watch these things, please.)

My 600ib Life

Squishmallows (Tommy: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SLEEP WITH ALL THIS SHITE ON YOUR BED!?)

Getting her nose pierced (Tommy: fuckin' ell).

Her and Martha piercing each other's belly buttons (Tommy: Imma fuckin' kill you...)

Going in an airplane

Haunted houses (Finn: Stop making me do these things....)

Family Therapy (All of them: Probably advisable)

Therapy

Being able to sleep until noon (Tommy: Are you going to sleep all day? //7:00am)

Conga lines

Birth control

Pizza for breakfast (Polly: why are you eating it cold!?)

All you can eat Chinese buffets (Tommy: where are you putting it all? Evie: Right here...*pats tummy*)

Smut

gay smut

Socially acceptable fart jokes (Tommy: Wasn't very funny the first time. John: I thought it was...)

Hawaiin dinner rolls

Frozen pizza

Among Us

Family movie nights

Trivia night at the bar

Putting a Furby in Finn's room (Finn: eeeww)

Putting her family members on Tinder (Arthur: Why did I bump into five women who knew me!?)

Stupid TikTok challenges

Magic Mike

Eating a whole can of whipped cream

Dong Chim up all her family's butt cracks (John: 🫨🫨🫨🫨)

Cat memes (Tommy: Evie, what does it mean when it says on Facebook...you been tagged? Oh, hey, look at that...ha-ha).

Trampoline parks

Arcades

Air hockey...

Kick Finn's ass at air hockey (Finn: 🖕🖕🖕)

Sliding across the wooden floors in fuzzy socks

Trick or Treating

Obnoxious unicorn fleece onsies

Being in control of her own reproductive health

WOMEN'S RIGHTS

Oogly eye stickers (Tommy: My poor portrait... Grace: Don't you think it's a little...obnoxious to have a self portrait in the family room? Shouldn't you have a family portrait?)

Scrunchies

Butterfly clips (Tommy: *steps on one* 🤬🤬🤬🤬)

Loud music while she drives (Tommy: *Uses Evie's Car* EVIE! My fuckin' ear drums!)

Raw Pillsbury cookie dough (Ada: You're suppose to bake it...)

Netflix...Disney Plus

Peter Kavinsky

Packaged ramen

Lactaid

Bongs

Crowd surfing at concerts

Mash pits

Jumping on hotel beds

Rock walls

Dying her hair stupid colors (Tommy: At least you look like a clown now)

Fart spray (Tommy: Why does my office smell?)

Fake IDs

Spotify wrapped

Gray sweats on men

Wearing shorts (Tommy: Evie, go put something else on, eh?)

Social acceptance of being a little chonky

Nerf guys (Finn: OW! WTF)

Limbo (how low can you go!?)

Going to a 24/7 store in her PJs (Polly: How classy...)

Fist bumps

Burping the ABCs (Polly: Very classy....

Sending stupid Snaps to the family group chat...(Tommy: Evie, where did it go?! The picture....)

Answering 'who dis?' every time Finn texts her (Finn: I'm done...)

24/7 drive throughs

[ghost-whump]

sorry for the long wait, guys!! i make up for it with some oc content perhaps????

Eventually! (Part One)

CW: pet death mention, stalking, home intrusion, kidnapping, chloroform, (let me know if I missed anything!)

As a highly paranoid individual, Ezra is prone to assuming the worst in just about every situation. A car takes the same turn he does? He’s being stalked. A friend doesn’t respond to a text? They’ve been murdered. His house smells more like gas than usual? He left the stove on, poisoned his cat, and will forever be known as the feline-murdering klutz who also happened to play music. He will admit, some fears are more outlandish than others, but that is entirely besides the point. After all, Xanax is real for a reason. 

So when his living room light is on when he comes home, he dismisses it quickly. It’s late, nearly midnight, when he finally makes it to his house, cello case over his shoulder. It’s too big to take the bus, so he’d had to shed some of his busking money to get an Uber. Not ideal, but a necessary expense. It takes him some fumbling to get out his keys, but eventually lugs both himself and the behemoth of an instrument in the door. 

“Mew!”

A gray, furry lump comes bounding towards him, weaving in and out of his legs. 

“Hey, Noodles, buddy.” Ezra crouches down, running his hand through the cat’s raised fur. She stays near him, ears pressed back, facing the kitchen. He peers through the dark doorway, “What’s the matter?” 

Of course, Noodles can’t answer him, but she does allow Ezra to pick her up, hooking her claws into his shirt. Her sharp, yellow gaze is fixed on the kitchen, only raising Ezra’s alarm. He takes a step closer to the room, the floorboards creaking beneath his feet. If this creepy, horror-movie scenario didn’t let up soon, Ezra might actually die of terror. Noodles jumps from his arms as he approaches, skittering into another room. Fantastic. 

Before going in, at least he has the foresight to dig his keys (and attached pepper spray) from his front pocket. Wielding the plastic weapon, Ezra suppresses a small, nervous laugh at the situation. Did he even have a reason to be so nervous? Just because his cat’s acting weird and he left a light on earlier? 

Floorboards creak ominously when he breaches the dark room, only adding to the unsettling atmosphere. Feeling along the wall for the light, Ezra holds his breath. 

“Please don’t turn on the light!”

Ezra freezes. “What…?”

“Oh, jeez, this isn’t how it’s supposed to go!” Whoever was in his house mutters, and Ezra hears them start to walk around on the tile floor. “God – God, I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d get home till later, so – so I wasn’t ready yet.”

“...What the fuck?” Is the only thing Ezra can say, the only thing he can think. “W-Who are you?”

The footsteps grow closer, but he still can’t move. The intruder sighs, “Look, I’m really sorry about this. I didn’t want – I didn’t mean for this to happen. Christ, I’m sorry.”

“The fuck are you–Mmf!” Suddenly, a cloth, damp with a putrid chemical is on his face. He drops the pepper spray, his keys clattering on the floor. His attacker moves quickly, shoving Ezra into the wall. No amount of struggling, of beating on the assailant’s chest, does anything. His movements feel weak, muscles relaxing as the cloth presses harder over his nose. A moment passes where consciousness floats away, and before he even realizes it, his arms are limp. Legs giving way, Ezra’s eyelids begin to droop.

“Shh, it’s okay,” The attacker coos, in a crude mockery of sympathy. “It’s okay, Ezzy, I’ve got you. Just go to sleep, baby, it’s alright.” Continued murmurings of sweet nothings echo around Ezra’s skull, until there’s nothing left. The darkness somehow grows darker, until Ezra can’t tell if his eyes are open or closed. The long seconds turn into quick bursts of awareness, slowly spacing themselves further and further. 

Ezra tries to fight back, or at least, he thinks he does. It’s a little hard to tell, and he’s really tired. 

Maybe if he just drifted off for a moment, he’d have some strength to fight later. 

Just a little nap.

“That’s good, just close your eyes, baby,” Gentle fingers brush his hair, “I’ll take good care of you.”

let me know what you think + if u want more <33

[kiskivmiske]

It is kinda sad that there are dragons in WoF , but no dragon-related species, if you know what I mean. Dragons are the only creatures in their clade. They have a completely different body plan from all known creatures, and there were new creatures introduced in the series, like dragon flame cacti or dragonbite viper, but no mention of six-limbed lizards or anything that could be dragon's ancestor. I mean, they could originate from another planet, or their own species were wiped out by invasive Earth species, but still. I probably should make one speculative evolution tree for dragons when I finish requests, but here is what I think.

Coelacanth's or its relative's descendant walks out on land just like tiktaalik did. It keeps all of its 8 limbs, but 4 of them are more fit for swimming, while the rest is used to walk on land.

Time passes, legs become stronger, the fish grows claws to get a better grip on the surface. Fins also progressively become stronger, propelling the body underwater, while claws and teeth are used to snatch prey.

Soon, fins become more complex, develop anatomy similar to front limbs, with a shoulder and an elbow joint. The ancestor starts to spend more time, going further and further into the continent, climbing trees and rocks. This dragon's ancestor, let's call it a Swampglider, looks like a deformed hybrid between a MudWing, a HiveWing and a newt: brown or greenish in color, with four short limbs and four fins. It hunts in swamps and rivers, coming to lay eggs on land, in warm mud or in piles of decomposing leaves. Eventually, its hunting territories grow bigger, as the creature starts to use claws to climb trees. It discovers that fins allow to glide from one tree to another. It gains a new method of defense: venom glands under their teeth rebuild themselves to spray venom towards the attacker. Its legs become longer allowing it to run without dragging belly on sharp rocks. It now has a built closer to modern day dragons, although it's the size of a large house cat, but steadily growing in size from generation to generation.

Now, as it rules water, land, and air, Swampglider goes even further, leaving the swamp behind. The West of Pyrrhia is still a lush jungle, connected on the other side with Pantala, Ice Kingdom does not exist yet, but it will soon change.

As Swampglider's habitat becomes more diverse, it starts to split into different species. All species but one, start to lose one pair of wings, while the other pair becomes more flexible and strong. East of Pyrrhia, all the way to mountains, is inhabited by woodland dragons, not much different from original Swampgliders. They are also brown or green, sometimes with hints of blue, yellow or red. The ones who live near the ocean are mostly blue-ish or brown, rainforest dragons are mostly green, while dragons of the southern shores have more distinct yellow and orange hues to blend with autumn foliage. In all of those species, scales host photosynthetic bacteria. Ocean dwelling dragons and swamp dragons still have their gills, while the others lost them. The wings became stronger, the dragons now achieved powered flight.

Dragons of the mountains have slimmer build and bigger wings. Their venom spit has changed to ignite upon release.

An ice age is coming, and ocean on the north starts to freeze, spreading on the Tail islands and the head of the continent. And, on the North of the mountains, a new species rises: these dragons have copper in their blood instead of iron, and their venom spit has a very effective coolant in it. Warm blooded mountain dragons move towards the center and the Southern Ocean, as it is not as cold as the other one. Other species also move, pushing southern woodland tribe to spread all the way across the shore of the supercontinent. Swamp dragons, being forced to move to the northeastern volcanic islands, acquired a new defence mechanism: immunity to fire. That allowed them to live on those islands, which are too dangerous for the others because of their volcanic activity. They don't need sensitive gills anymore, as they do more harm than good. They don't use photosynthesis anymore and are becoming stronger and more effective hunters, always sticking in packs, they increase their kill rate. To hide from the cold, they spend free time and sleep in heated spring pools. Crossbreeding with mountain dragons gave them fire breathing ability, too, but it's not as strong as in other species, because they are not warmblooded.

In the western jungle, bug dragons emerge from those who retained all four wings for hovering flight, rather than gliding. They have more diverse methods of venom attacks. Some of them have poisonous glands under their claws and on the tip of the tail. To make the process of hatching easier, bug dragons have a much shorter egg phase, dragonets hatch undeveloped, with rudimentary wings. They actively eat for several months getting fatter, and then hide into a small burrow, coat themselves with air-drying slimy coat and hibernate. After the winter, they emerge fully developed. That way small dragonets have a bigger chance of survival during winter months, when there is not enough food and significantly more rivalry, to wake up when the food is in abundance

Meanwhile, woodland dragons have developed an unique ability to sence brain signals of other creatures. After a period of time, the had split into three subspecies: mountain dragons hybrids, who can breathe fire and read minds, forest dragons who use psychic abilities to trick others into thinking they are invisible by affecting photographic memory centers, and woodland dragons who can only read chemical signals from plants and translate them into coherent data about the plant to avoid eating diseased and inedible fruits. The first species had lost its photosynthetic bacteria and become fully nocturnal.

Sea dragons are forced to move from shallow waters deeper down from cold icy surface to heated derpwater vents rich with life, their photosynthetic bacteria changes to bioluminescent algae.

And then the continent started to crack. Eastern islands drifted to the North, western half of the continent separated and started to drift further away. Volcaolnoes erupted one after another, and methane filled the air. The ice age is gone and a global warming takes place. Ice cap is melting. Water currents change. Now, lush jungle on the west dries up, becoming a desert. At this point we can call dragons by their names, even though they aren't all pureblood.

MudWings and IceWings move back to the continent, pushing SkyWings and RainWings further to the South, while they, in their own turn, chase away NightWings and LeafWings, who, unable to defend themselves from venom spit, had to flee into the desert. NightWings, due to being nocturnal, aren't affected much by the change of temperature and are fine with desert climate. They kidneys can handle high salinity, so, instead of searching for oasis, they remain in a small wooded peninsula, closer to the ocean. LeafWings, having much more competition, are unable to fight back and forced to stay on separating Pantala. BeetleWings separate, one half stays in Pantala's grasslands, the other stays in Pyrrhian desert.

After separation, grasslands become more humid due to being near the ocean, and new rainforests emerge, food becomes abundant, and BeetleWings and LeafWings don't have to fight for supplies anymore.

Overtime, Pyrrhian BeetleWings lose their larval stage and one pair of wings, and, by breeding with SkyWings, become separate tribe, SandWings. Their hearts developed four separate chambers instead of three, which prevents blood from mixing and loosing heat. This mechanism helps them keep their bodies warm in the night, when the temperature drops.

The other part of BettleWings has retained their "larval" stage through neoteny, and it has become increasingly longer. The dragonet grows at a normal pace now, instead of turning into a fat potato worm thing, it's metabolism isn't much different from a normal dragonet, but they don't pupate and get wings until sexual maturity.

IceWing s have lost their natural habitat and have to move to Pyrrhia, suffering from heat in the northern desert, their number dropped to several thousands. Because of inbreeding, many dragons with deformities were born, one of them could bend laws of physics itself to his own will. This ability will later be known as "animus". Unusual IceWing, later named The Great Ice Dragon, being born with an unique magic ability, has sacrificed himself to preserve the cold on the head of the continent. Although IceWings have come through a bottleneck (drastic decrease in their number), they have survived.

[th3-p-a1-nt3r]

More incorrect Isekai AU quotes!!

I love making theses!!

-----------------------------------------------------

*The squad has just arrived in a new city. Ram looks around at the wanted posters to see if they’re on any of them.*

Cam: Ram, are you a criminal?

Ram: Not here, I’m not!

-----------------------------------------------------

Cam: So, everyone, what does a story NEED?

Wren: A character!

Am: A setting!

Ram, a gleam in their eyes, in a near-whisper: REVENGE.

-----------------------------------------------------

Ram: *About to do something incredibly stupid*

Wren: I know I can't stop you, but I won't let you go by yourself.

-----------------------------------------------------

Am: If it pleases the court I would like to say that my opponent is TALKING SHIT!

Ram: ...

-----------------------------------------------------

Am: The path to inner peace begins with four words… not my fucking problem.

-----------------------------------------------------

Am: Get in loser, we're going shopping.

Cam: This is a McDonald's drive thru.

-----------------------------------------------------

Am, after sneaking into Wren’s bedroom: Hey, wake up!

Wren, half awake: Huh!?

Am: I just murdered your entire family!

Wren: ...But I live alone.

Am: Huh? Then who are these people in your house???

Wren: There’s people in my house?

Am: Well not anymore! Dumb bitch! You could’ve died! You’re welcome!

-----------------------------------------------------

Wren having a meltdown: Y'know, I once knew a man who said to me: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” He also had a pair of sideburns that would cause even Jude Law’s face to weep in forfeit. You put those lemons in a sack and beat your enemies with ‘em! And maybe if you beat ‘em hard enough the bag will split open and lemon juice will spray into their eyes, causing intense burning pains as you crush them into a citrus-y pulp!

Am: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Their heads or the lemons?

Wren: Whatever caves first!

-----------------------------------------------------

All of the Am's: Who hurt you?

Wren: *snorting* What, do you want a list?

All of the Am's: ...Yes, actually.

-----------------------------------------------------

Ram: Fun Fact! The average person will walk by 36 murderers in their lifetime.

Cam: I like how this is a "fun" fact.

Wren: It's fun because they didn't decide to murder you.

-----------------------------------------------------

Wren, holding an unconscious Ram: Oh no. Please don’t be dead.

-----------------------------------------------------

Ram, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it-

Am, whispering: Should we call the exorcist?

Wren, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick.

Cam, appalled: Call the exorcist.

-----------------------------------------------------

Wren: If bees can be fish and boys can be girls, then why can't my dad love me?

Ram: I thought I was going to have to yell at you, but now I think I should hug you.

-----------------------------------------------------

Ram, about Wren: Can I tell them they look nice?

Am: Sure.

Ram: Can I tell them I respect them?

Am: Maybe, if they ask.

Ram: Should I show them an oil painting I made of us surrounded by our three cats and four dogs?

Am: …

Am: I’d save that for later.

-----------------------------------------------------Wren: Legend says that when you can’t sleep, it means you’re awake in someone else’s dreams.

Wren: When I find out who you are, I’m going to punch you in the face.

-----------------------------------------------------

*At a bank teller window*

Am, in a bad Italian accent: I'd like-a to make-a da deposit!

Ram: HEY BUDDY, WAIT, I REMEMBER YOU!

Am: *Frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube*

Ram: GODDAMMIT, IT'S THEM AGAIN!

-----------------------------------------------------

Wren: Here you go, Am, a nice hot cup of coffee!

Am: It's cold.

Wren: A nice cup of coffee.

Am: It's horrible!

Wren: Cup of coffee.

Am: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee.

Wren: C U P.

-----------------------------------------------------

Wren: You're smiling. What happened?

Am: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it?

Ram: Cam tripped and fell down the stairs today.

-----------------------------------------------------

Am: Good news!

Ram: You found where I hid your phone?

Am: ...

Ram: You found your phone?

-----------------------------------------------------

Wren: Fight me!

The Am's, standing behind them and holding a knife: *mouths* Do not.

-----------------------------------------------------

Wren: I want to grow up and be like Ram!

Ram: That is called Acquiring Depression.

-----------------------------------------------------

Ram: Whether or not I pay income taxes is none of the government's business.

Am: No, well, actually, it is.

Ram: You don't know my name or what I look like, good luck finding me.

-----------------------------------------------------

Ram: It’s nice to be wanted, you know?

Wren: Not by the law!

-----------------------------------------------------

Am: Thanks for pulling the fire alarm, you saved me from giving an oral report about The Scarlet Web.

Cam: You were too lazy to read the book?!

Am: I was too lazy to watch the movie. <br>

-----------------------------------------------------

Cam: How do you sleep at night knowing people don’t like you?

Ram: With the fan on.

-----------------------------------------------------

Wren: Are you mad?

Cam: No.

Wren: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

-----------------------------------------------------

Cam: I regret getting dragged into your heterosexual tomfoolery.

-----------------------------------------------------

Wren: That was the worst throw ever. Of all time.

Am: Not my fault. Somebody put a wall in the way.

-----------------------------------------------------

*In a horror movie situation*

Ram: I've got no service in my phone here.

Wren: Shoot, my battery just died.

Am: Sorry guys, I just broke my phone with a hammer.

Cam: Guys, my phone is a book.

-----------------------------------------------------

Ram: I'm against crime, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

-----------------------------------------------------

Cam talking about Wren: Wow, did you hear that voice crack?

Ram: That wasn't a voice crack, that was a whole voice meth.

-----------------------------------------------------

Wren: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Ram: Wow. They sound stupid.

Wren: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.

Ram: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

Wren: I guess you’re right. Hey Ram, I love you.

Ram: See! Just say that!

Wren: Holy fucking shit.

Ram: If that flies over their head then, sorry Wren, but they're too dumb for you.

Wren: Ram.

-----------------------------------------------------

Wren: Do you cook?

Am: I made a cake once.

Cam: Yeah, it was good.

Am: Really?

Cam: Don’t make me lie twice, Am.

-----------------------------------------------------

Am: Valentines Day? I'm ready. *Sprays an entire can of AXE body spray on themselves*

-----------------------------------------------------

*at a zoo*

Wren: What are they in for?

Ram: Wren, this isn't prison.

Wren: So they can leave?

Ram: No, but-

Wren, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

-----------------------------------------------------

Wren: How’s practice going?

Am: Terrible. I want to stab everybody there.

Wren: Okay, just don’t get any blood on your clothes.

Am: …you shouldn’t be condoning this.

Wren: Don’t tell me how to live my life.

-----------------------------------------------------

Wren, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.

-----------------------------------------------------

Ram: Guys, I have a question.

Am: kys <3

Ram: I hate you too.

Wren: Ah, yes. Siblings.

-----------------------------------------------------

More will be on the way!!! <3

[currymuncherxxx0]

Obey me demon brothers with a Chav! Mc

Okay so this hc is gonna be comedy lol. Its the obey me brothers with an mc who is such a chav. A chav is basically a very popular British girl in British schools or anywhere it doesn't have be in school lol. If you're British you'll understand lmao. #chav

As you arrived in devildom you had a very salty look on your face. Your fake lashes falling off, your face looking disgusted and your orange foundation and dark contour stands out.

Lucifer: Lucifer will obviously be very annoyed and irritated. This human causes more chaos than mammon himself. She's too loud and petty. And not to forget, the litres of Victoria's secret perfume sprayed on herself and in her room. It killed his airways. Lucifer comes to her to scold her about spraying too much perfume in the house of lamentation until she replies "Oh my god bruv, it actually bare stinks in this room yeah, you lot need to know what hygiene is." With that, Lucifer got frustrated. "MC! DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU CONTINUE TO SPRAY PERFUME IN THE HOUSE??! IT WILL DAMAGE THE AIR!!" "Okay and, I don't care fam. It still smells like clapped pussios." Lucifer gets more confused now. More and more confused. He don't know a single thing about British slang. But as time went on, the MC and lucifer did have a love hate relationship. In fact, Lucifer even wanted to visit London with MC.

Mammon: Being the second born tsundere, Mammon is obviously gonna be like, "Oi, I don't like ya, MC!" and then he blushes. But when the MC is like, "Okay and? You keep staring at me like a bare madman still. You're clapped anyways." Mammon got more confused. What is clapped? As soon as he finds out what it actually means, Mammon starts sobbing into his pillows every day and night. Although Mammon was an idiot, he was never insulted by someone he loved. Since all of his brothers treated him like shit and insulted him badly. He had to cope with that trauma. A few weeks later, the MC realises how much she's hurt his feelings. "Look bruv. I'm sorry, okay? Look, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings still. It's just that I grew up having to be a salty skept. Forgive me still." With that, Mammon is a bit skeptical but forgives mc. The next time any roadman try to shank MC up, Mammon is here with her in his demon form. And if any girl tries to steal Mammon away from the MC, MC will smoke them still.

Leviathan: Now we all know that Levi is always in his room, watching some random h3nt@1 shit or playing video games. And he probably didn't shower for weeks. And because of that, MC does laugh at him. "Oi you man. What the fuck did you do with your hair, why does it look like some purple bowl? Are you Justin Bieber on crack mate? You're butters! Take a shower as well, fam." With that, Levi was just like "w-well you're obviously not gonna l-like a-an o-otaku like m-me." I swear, this guy gives pick me boy vibes. But the second that Levi takes off his shirt and his toned, outlined 6 pack and chest is showing, the MC is more confused now and also intrigued. "O-oi, MC, s-stop l-looking at me!" "Alai, you're actually so fit icl. You're leng. Since when did you have a chocolate bar shaped body when you're in that prison all day just busting shit?? You're tasty, bruv." And with that, the two of them have hate love relationships again. Levi swears to protect the MC from the opps. And MC swears to scrap anyone who even steals her bf away.

Satan: Well, Satan does has anger and daddy issues. So don't fuck with him or else you'll get smoked by him innit. "Oi, you! Yeah you, you yeah! You look like Cat Noir from poundland still." With that, Satan gets angry. "Well at least I'm smarter than you, kid." He's a bit angry. "You're calling big man a kid?? Nah. I'm a big man, pussio. I'll chef you and your dad up, wait you have daddy issues lololol" Satan has turned intona green flash and then into his demon form. "WTF DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME, B***!! ILL FUCKNG BREAK YOUR NECK!!" Satan was destroying everything around him now. "Okay okay fam, calm down fam. No need to act mental and that, get a grip mate. Sorry fam. Geez, you're so sensitive blud." Throughout time, they're still enemies. Yeah.

Asmodeus: Asmo is gonna be the one that the MC hates the most. MC thinks that he's too feminine as a man. As Asmo applies a heavy amount of foundation, concealer, contour, blusher, face powder, glittery pink, orange and yellow eyeshadow, thick eyeliner, long long false lashes, highlighter, bronzer and purple lipstick, MC just looks at him, weirdly. "What the fuck are you doing, bruv? You look bare zesty." Asmo does not know a single thing about British slang so instead he says this. "Oh, sorry for stating the facts that I'm beautiful hun. You're just jealous that I can blend my contour and concealer better than you, you just look more orange than Donald trump, your crusty musty looking concealer lips." MC gets angry. "Oi, what the fuck did you just say to me, bruv?? Do you wanna scrap?? I'll smoke you fam, don't fuck with me innit." Asmo isn't scared at all. "Well try and do that, love. You won't be able to walk the next day, hun~~~ 😏" of course he's gonna be some horny ass mf.

Beelzebub: Tbh, I think MC would kind of get along with Beel. Yes, she would find it irritating that beel eats the whole fridge but still. I have a feeling tha MC would actually have a crush on Beel. "Oi, Ed Sheeran looking man! Yeah you! You're leng still! You look fit! Man eats the whole fridge and still has bare tits and biceps." And yeah, MC and beel just have a nice friendship. As time went on, Beel smoked more oops and roadmen who touched MC and MC scrapped any chav that would lay a finger on her bodybuilder bf.

Sorry I didn't add belphie, I'll try to do that in the next part 😭