#We'll destroy the horror content

[wanderlettesz]

The Price of Loving

yandere cheater x reader

After you discover your fiancé cheating on you with his assistant, rage takes over and you kill her right in front of him. Arrested and imprisoned for the crime, he visits you frequently, wanting to rebuild what he destroyed.

Tw/Tags. yandere, cheating, toxic relationship, kidnapping, obsessive, non-consensual touching, degradation, homicide, blood, manipulation, captivity, bondage, force feeding, death (not the reader), angst, suggesting content. Pronouns are not used, but the reader is implied to be a woman. Let me know if I missed any.

Word Count: 11664

The room was silent, the only sound being that of the clock.

“What do you feel when you think about crime?”

Silence.

“Do you regret what you did? 

Silence. You know there's no point in answering.

The psychologist forces a small smile “If you don't want to talk again today, that's fine. We'll wait until you're ready.” She writes something in her notebook and closes it “You're free to go.”

You don't bother saying goodbye and leave the room, the policemen who were at the door waiting for you to leave escort you in silence to your cell. At every cell you passed you felt eyes staring at you, and you made sure to return their gaze. When you arrived, you were brutally pushed inside, the brute action made you clench your teeth, and you held back so as not to say anything.

You sit down and breathe, trying to calm down. You've been here for a week now, but with James coming here every day, it feels like an eternity.

"James..."

You mutter bitterly, his name leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. Your eyes wander to the other side of the room, where the thousands of gifts he brought are scattered across the table without any care.

______________________________________________________________

The smell of alcohol and antiseptics invades your nostrils as you walk through the hospital corridors to your fiancé's room. You were carrying a box of sweets in a good mood, you worked hard to cook all this after all.

Your hands got burnt in the process, but if that's enough to show him that you love him, there's no need to worry about it.

You hesitate for a second, but decide not to knock. As you turn the handle and push open the door, you freeze at the scene. You regret not knocking sooner.

A blazer is lying on the floor, next to a woman's jacket. The table where a woman is sitting is a complete mess. You look around the scene in shock, until you finally see the faces of the couple in front of you.

Your fiancé and his assistant.

James quickly turns away from the woman and towards you. He seems completely oblivious to the woman in front of him “Darling, you've come to visit me!” a smile appears on his face as he walks over to you 

How dare he look happy after the scene you've just witnessed?

Noticing your presence, the assistant tries to leave discreetly, her steps hurried but contained. You don't think, your gaze sweeps the room and settles on the first object within reach, a chair.

The impulse takes over you, and before you can even think, you’ve already lifted it and struck her with the first blow. The sound of the impact and the screams echo around you, and you keep going. You hit her again and again until you realize the screams have stopped.

It was enough to alert nearby staff and patients. Some watched the scene with horror etched across their faces, while others were already running toward where you were.

You turned to your fiancé. His face was a mix of fear and shock, but there was something else. A glint in his eyes, a small smile on his lips.

He looked pleased.

"You... killed her? Because of me?" his voice came out low, almost in awe. "If I had known you were…"

You didn’t let him finish. You raised the chair again and lunged forward, ready to strike. But before you could hit him, you were restrained by nurses who rushed in and pinned you down.

On the ground, trapped under arms and surrounded by shouts, as the nurses rushed to check the woman's body, you realized what you had done.

There’s no going back now. ______________________________________________________________

You clench your fists as that memory flashes through your mind again, and you quickly look away from the table. There's no point in thinking about it anymore. Instead, you fix your gaze on the hallway clock.

5:48 p.m. James usually arrives around this time. Maybe he’s running late. Or maybe, just maybe, he finally gave up trying to convince you not to kill him with your own hands. You hope it’s the latter. But your hopes die the moment you hear that sticky, annoyingly cheerful voice.

“Thank God you’re awake... You usually tend to doze off around this time.” He appears from the corner where you were looking at the clock. “Sorry I’m late, darling, the hospital was packed today.”

You ignore him and turn your back, not even bothering to answer. He has always hated the silent treatment. If you're lucky, he'll give up and walk away. But you know that would be a miracle.

"I thought we were past this…” His annoyance is obvious, even though he tries to mask it with sadness. "I noticed you even had one of the chocolates I brought yesterday. That has to mean you're starting to forgive me.”

What? You didn’t touch any of the things he brought, but you decide not to care about that now. "I told the guards not to let you in," you say directly, completely ignoring the absurd thing he just said before. "Why are you here?”

"You should know that won’t stop me." "I guess not." You turn toward James, not hiding your unhappiness at seeing him. "So? What did you come here for?”

"Can’t I visit my own fiancée anymore?" he said, showing the gifts. "Look, I picked your favorite flowers and chose the best chocolates for you..."

You don’t pay attention to his words. Hearing him speak used to be something you loved, but now it only provokes irritation.

As you struggled to push away any thought that reminded you of his presence, the cell door creaked open with a dry squeak, and a guard let him in. Your eyes first went to the gifts he carefully placed on your table, adding them to the others he had brought before. When you finally mustered the courage to face him, his arms were already around you.

“What…” You immediately raise your hands to push him away, but he interrupts you by hugging you tighter and bringing his lips close to your ear.

“You don’t want to make a scene here in front of everyone, do you?” His warm breath tickles your skin, sending an uncomfortable shiver down your spine. If you want to get out of here and as far away from him as possible, you better be discreet for now.

Noticing your attempt to hold back, he rested his head on your shoulder, prolonging the moment longer than tolerable. When he finally pulled away, he smiled with that same irritating smile as always.

"Aren’t you afraid I’ll break your face?”

“You wouldn’t do that.”

You definitely would, but not here.

He settled on the edge of your bed and motioned for you to sit beside him. “I have something to talk to you about.”

When you didn’t follow, he took your hand and gently pulled you to his side, his expression now serious as he lowered his voice. “Look, about everything that happened…”

“What is wrong with you?" Your hand pulls away from his in a sharp motion.

He doesn’t react right away. He just lowers his eyes, as if searching for words on the floor. For a brief second, he looks hurt, but says nothing.

"You think you can just come back here and try to fix everything?" Your indignation is clear. Your stomach turns just having him this close. His scent, the sound of his breathing, everything about him feels really annoying right now.

He takes a deep breath, and when he finally speaks, his voice is low, almost cautious. "I know, I know what I did... But could you at least listen to what I have to say?"

That sparks something inside you. Your heart races, like you’ve just been punched. You stand up abruptly, the bed creaking under the sudden movement.

"Listen?!" your voice rises instantly, firm and uncontrolled. Your whole body is tense, you’re really holding yourself back from exploding. "Do you even know what you’re talking about?! You cheated on me, for fuck’s sake! There’s no excuse for that!" Your breathing is already heavy. 

He stands up too, maybe out of impulse or maybe out of fear of losing control of the situation. He tries to take a step toward you, his hands slightly raised as if trying to calm you. "Darling, please, calm down, I just want to…”

"Get the fuck out of my cell." You cut him off, looking him straight in the eyes. "I don’t want to hear what you have to say, none of your excuses. I’d rather rot in prison than be free because of you!”

He freezes for a moment, as if unsure whether he should insist or leave. But you don’t look away. The air between you is heavy. Your argument has drawn several curious looks, and one disapproving glance from a guard.

James knew that if he pushed any further, he’d lose any chance of speaking to you again.

He leaves the cell in silence, without looking back. But just before crossing the door, you still catch his final whisper,barely audible.

"I’m going to get you out of here."

Your eyes widen for a second before you pull yourself together. 

"And when that happens, I’ll kill you."

He says nothing else and walks out in silence.

Your body is still trembling with anger, and you throw yourself onto the bed, one arm resting over your eyes. You try to calm your breathing, taking deep, slow breaths.

You tried once, then twice, three times…Each attempt only seemed to make the irritation worse. You can’t understand how he still manages to affect you so deeply, even after everything that happened. You keep trying for the rest of the night.

______________________________________________________________

The next morning, you wake up in a bad mood, your body stiff in an uncomfortable position and your shoulders aching, without remembering exactly when you fell asleep. But it wasn’t the discomfort that woke you, it was a different sound.

You turned your head slightly to the side and looked out of the corner of your eye. You saw a hand reaching through the bars of the neighboring cell, trying to grab a box of chocolates James had left on the table against the wall opposite your bed.

You watched the woman’s pathetic attempt to be quiet. She seemed to be struggling. Her hand barely touched the box, and when she did, all she managed to do was push it farther away.

The scowl that was already on her face deepened. With an annoyed sigh, she pulled her hand back. Just as she was about to try again, she looked in your direction, probably to check if you were still asleep.

Your eyes met and she quickly withdrew her arm, freezing. You stared at each other for a few seconds before she gave you a mischievous smile. "These chocolates have been here for days…! You’re not going to eat them, are you? It’s better if someone does before they rot and make the whole place stink!”

Despite the confident tone, you noticed the nervousness she was trying to hide.

You look away and stare at the ceiling. "You can take it. I wasn’t going to eat it anyway."

The woman stayed silent for a moment. She didn’t seem to believe you truly didn’t care. "...Really? I mean... alright then! Don’t mind me grabbing it!"

She reached out again, this time more eagerly, and finally managed to grab the box.

With a satisfied smile, she pulled it into her cell and opened the box, unwrapping a chocolate. "I was so hungry! Yesterday, when your boyfriend was…”

"Ex” you correct her.

"...Ex-boyfriend was here, I couldn’t grab any and spent the whole night starving. You and he are terrifying when you’re angry, so I didn’t want to risk it." She tossed the chocolate in the air and caught it in her mouth, chewing happily.

You got up from the bed and sat up, your gaze falling to the floor. “...Did you see what happened yesterday?”

"You should be asking who didn’t see it." She grabbed another chocolate. "You two were loud. I don’t know how he still has permission to visit you and bring all this good stuff!"

"Good stuff..." you repeat bitterly as you start getting up to get ready.

The woman you were talking to glanced quickly at the clock and realized she also needed to hurry. Neither of you wanted to attract the attention of the guards.

______________________________________________________________

After pricking your fingers several times, you finally finish sewing the hand of the small amigurumi you've been working on since you got there. Carefully, you hold it up to your eyes, examining each stitch closely.

It's not perfect, but... it's good enough. You hope some child will like it.

Then, the sound of the bell echoes through the hallway. It’s time for outdoor break. You put your materials away, hand the amigurumi to the woman in charge of the workshop, and head toward the yard.

Outside, you sit on a bench, watching the other inmates also taking advantage of the fresh air, some chatting, others in silence. They don’t mind your presence and ignore you.

Your eyes fall to your hands, thousands of tiny wounds scattered across them.

"Wow, that looks painful..." The same woman from before is leaning over your shoulder, eyeing your hands with curiosity.

"You again?" you turn your face away, annoyed. She turns to face you, her smile widening with amusement.

Ignoring your comment, she sits beside you. "Didn't know you were the crochet type. Doesn't suit you at all, especially making stuffed animals.”

“It’s not like I... like it. It’s just the least awful job around here.” You lower your hands to your lap.

“Doesn’t look that way to me…”

She decides to drop the subject and, in a casual motion, throws an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer. Then, she slips a hand inside her bra and pulls out a chocolate wrapped in luxurious packaging.

“Check this out.” She places the candy between you two. “I don’t like owing favors, so I brought you a chocolate from the boss’s office. This is one of the most expensive in the world! Look at this fancy wrapping…” Her fingers point out tiny details in the packaging that no one would notice without trying.

When you make no move to take the chocolate, she grabs your hand and places it in your palm. “Impressive, right? I’m paying my debt to you for those other chocolates. Feel honored.”

You don’t really care about that, but she looks so proud that you don’t have the heart to ruin her moment.

"Thanks, I guess. You didn’t owe me anything, but... I appreciate the gift." You tuck the chocolate into a pocket or fold of your clothes.

She watches your face closely, looking for any sign of sarcasm. Finding none, she nods, satisfied.

"You’re not what I expected, [Name]." She crosses her legs and props her elbow on one knee, resting her face in her hand. "When I read your file, I thought you were just another one who messed up their life over someone stupid. But you seem… alright, even after everything.”

"Prying into other people’s lives is a huge invasion of privacy."

"Yeah, maybe. But criminal records are public reading in here. You should see what they say about me." She makes a playful face. "I’ve heard so many stories I don’t even know what I actually did anymore.”

“Anyway, it’s none of your business.” You stand up and start walking back, wanting to end the conversation.

She jumps up from the bench almost instantly, quickening her pace to catch up with you. “Hey! I’m trying to get close to you. Everyone here has an ally, and you need one too!”

“Why would I need one?” you snap back without looking at her. “If I just don’t mess with anyone, no one will mess with me.”

"That’s not how things work in a place like this.” She steps in and stops right in front of you, forcing you to halt, then reaches out her hand. “My name’s Sasha. If you become my ally in here, I promise I’ll watch your back. So? What do you say?”

You stare at her hand without moving. The offer doesn’t make much sense to you, but you feel that if you refuse, she’ll keep pushing, maybe even more than before. Before touching her hand, you hesitate.

“And what do you get out of this?” You pull your hand back and cross your arms suspiciously. “I don’t see what use I’d be to you, and it’s pretty clear you’re not doing this out of kindness.”

“What if I’m just being nice?” 

“Yeah, right” you say, turning your back and starting to walk away.

She starts walking beside you again, talking non-stop. The walk back is full of her trying to convince you to accept the offer. You begin to think she’s insisting just so she doesn’t seem lonely.

______________________________________________________________

When you came back, you expected to see James waiting in front of your cell, but he didn’t show up.

He didn’t show up that night. Nor the next day. Nor the week after. In fact, months passed without any sign of him.

You still can’t really believe it, even though the answers are right in front of you. Has he finally decided to leave you alone?

During that time, Sasha tried to get closer to you. For some reason, she was always around and greeted you in a good mood. Even though she was loud, she didn’t annoy you like before. She was kind of nice to have around and always brought you gifts. You shared a bit about your life with her, and she shared hers.

She told you that before she got arrested, she was trying to pursue a career as an actress. She went to auditions, took acting classes, and even performed in an amateur play. You found it curious that someone like her ended up in prison.

When you asked why, she said she was arrested for theft, explaining that it was hard to afford the cost of classes and she saw no other way out. One day, you happened to see a small badge with the name of a theater. She quickly hid it and didn’t explain further. She looked embarrassed, so you decided not to press her about it.

It was 3:00 AM when you woke up to loud noises, hurried footsteps, gunshots, and other sounds you couldn’t quite make out.

Already alert, you immediately got up. Your heart raced as you tried to understand what was happening. The sound of footsteps and gunfire echoed down the entire corridor, mixed with screams and confused voices.

You moved closer to the bars of your cell, trying to see beyond the darkness. The faint light from flickering lamps showed figures running past, some shouting, others trying to shield themselves from whatever was going on.

Sasha appeared on the other side of the bars, her voice standing out amid the intense noise filling the corridor. "There you are! Are you hurt?” she asked with concern.

In her hands, she held a small key which she quickly inserted into your cell lock. You heard the click of the door unlocking and decided to ask, even though you already had an idea

"Sasha, what the fuck is going on?!"

She glanced quickly to the sides before answering "It's a riot. We don't have much time, let's get out of here."

As soon as the door swung wide open, she grabbed your wrist tightly and pulled you out, not giving you a chance to hesitate. The corridors were absolute chaos, bodies scattered on the floor, prisoners freeing each other, and police officers trying, in vain, to contain the riot.

You ran alongside Sasha, trying to keep up the pace, but every step was a challenge. The smell of blood and burning smoke in your nostrils was unbearable.

Suddenly, there was an explosion at the end of the corridor. Your body reacted instinctively; you turned your head back and saw a huge hole in the wall next to the door.

A crowd of prisoners was fleeing in panic, trampling everything in their path. The sharp sound of gunshots made your heart jump, and you quickly looked forward. Sasha was looking over her shoulder, clearly annoyed. "For God’s sake..." she muttered to herself before looking at you. "Pick up the pace, and don’t run in a straight line." She tightened her grip on your wrist and rushed ahead.

You tried to keep up, but you couldn’t. If it was already hard to dodge the bodies on the floor, now it felt impossible. Even after grabbing her with both hands, you and Sasha struggled to stay together, the panicked crowd made it nearly impossible.

And then it got worse. You felt a sharp pain in your thigh. It was like your leg had been torn apart from the inside, followed by a burning sensation that made you gasp.

The sound of the gunshot still echoed in your ears when your fingers slipped from Sasha’s. In the blink of an eye, she vanished into the crowd.

"Shit..." you hissed through clenched teeth. 

You stumbled until you managed to get out of the escape route and leaned against a wall, trying to think of what to do. The pain was overwhelming, you knew you wouldn't be able to run like that.

While you were struggling to come up with a solution, you felt a hand slide around your waist, and before you could react, you were yanked back with brutal force.

A damp cloth covered your nose and mouth. Your body fought on reflex, but stopped the moment a familiar voice whispered in your ear.

"I told you I’d get you out of here."

______________________________________________________________ You woke up with your face pressed against something warm and firm. Slowly, your senses began to return, and as you looked up, you found yourself face-to-face with James’s peaceful, sleeping face. What the fuck? When you tried to push him away, you realized something strange, your hands were cuffed behind your back. Looking down, you saw that your thigh was carefully bandaged. At least your feet were free.

You expected to be in your old home, the place where you lived before everything fell apart, but the room around you was completely different. It looked... tropical. Warm golden light filtered through the windows, the air smelled faintly of sea salt, and from outside came the soft, rhythmic sound of waves crashing.

With effort and several tries, you managed to get to your feet and take a better look around. This place was definitely not an ordinary house. The walls were made of light wood, decorated with fine fabrics and clay-potted plants. A steady breeze flowed through the room, making the white curtains sway gently. Outside, you could hear birds and the distant sound of the sea.

“Did you like it? I decorated it just for you.” You turned your head. James was still lying on the bed, silently watching you. His gaze was fixed, like he was waiting for a specific reaction.

“Where did you bring me?!” you snapped, unable to hide the anger and confusion in your voice.

He stood up slowly and walked to the middle of the room. He stopped and opened his arms with a satisfied smile on his face. "How can you be mad after everything I did just for you?" He started rambling about the decorations, mentioning where he had stored your police training books, your clothes, and your personal belongings.

You kept your gaze steady as you waited for an explanation. The anger inside you grew, mixed with fear and disbelief.

He sighed and then returned to the bed, sitting on the edge.

"It was your dream to live in a house by the beach." he said, trying to make you understand what he had done for you. "That's why I worked so hard to bring you here."

"Bring me here?!" you said, incredulous. "You literally kidnapped me and handcuffed me!"

He went silent for a moment, then admitted, looking away, "…Well, I didn’t see another way to get you here."

You felt a knot in your throat. He continued, his voice lower now, almost as if trying to justify himself, "And you didn’t seem emotionally stable enough to have a conversation with me."

You grit your teeth, the feeling of helplessness starting to weigh on you.

“So you thought you had the right to decide everything for me?” you ask, trying to control the tremor in your voice. “I’ve told you, it’s over! It’s finished, done, gone!” You hope your firm words finally get through to him.

His smile falters and he stands up, walking toward the door.

“Now you’re going to leave and just let me here?”

He opens the door and looks back over his shoulder. “I’ll be back soon, darling. Wait for me.” He closes the door behind him with a smile.

There’s no way you’re going to just stand here waiting for him.

The pain in your thigh is unbearable, but that won’t stop you. You drag your legs slowly to the edge of the bed and, after a lot of effort, manage to touch your feet to the floor. Every movement makes the pain worse, your body trembles, and you’re almost regretting what you’re trying to do.

But your pride speaks louder. You refuse to obey him. He must think you’re helpless now that you’re hurt. Even with that thought, you’re still hesitating.

You hesitate just long enough for him to come back.

"...I thought I told you to wait for me.” he said, clearly not pleased. "You won’t be able to walk without my help.”

"I don’t need you, I can walk on my own…" The tremor in your voice is obvious, even you’re not sure you believe it.

“Then walk.”

“...What?”

"Walk." He repeats, leaning his back against the wall by the door. "You said you don’t need me, so I want you to come to me without my help.”

The room fell silent. You felt your breathing quicken. The weight of the situation fully settled on your shoulders. Your thigh throbbed, each pulse of pain sharper than the last. You looked down at the floor, then at the distance to the door. It was just over two meters, but to your injured body, it felt like a battlefield.

"I'm waiting, or have you already given up?"

He stepped away from the wall and started walking toward you. You quickly raised your hand, signaling for him to stop.

"I can do it..." you whispered to yourself, trying to believe your own words. You took a deep breath, gathering courage. With great care, you placed your uninjured leg on the floor. But even this simple movement pulled the muscles in your injured thigh, sending a sharp pain through your body like an electric shock. A trembling sigh escaped your lips.

James watched silently, but you noticed impatience growing on his face. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing you give up, you decided to push through it.

You regretted it. Deeply.

Your body gave out immediately, overwhelmed by immense pain. Your leg failed, and before you could react, you were already on the floor. The sound of the fall echoed through the room, your head hitting the floor hard, the impact knocking the air out of your lungs.

But nothing hurt more than your thigh. The sudden movement from the fall made the injured muscles contract, and the pain tore through you as if the wound had opened again. Your body trembled and tears welled up in your eyes. You could barely breathe.

You clenched your teeth as you heard his loud laughter echo right in front of you. The sadness that had consumed you seconds before quickly merged with anger and, even worse, humiliation.

“You look like a worm writhing…” he mocked between laughs, barely able to contain himself.

When the laughter finally started to fade, you mustered the courage to lift your face. But it was in vain. The weight of his shoe was already pressing down on your head, forcing you back to the floor.

“Stay down.” he murmured, his voice hard and cruel. “It suits you better.”

His harsh tone caught you by surprise, he had never spoken to you like that before. A chill ran down your spine, but you tried to keep your voice steady, even though the tremor betrayed your insecurity.

“Is that the first thing you do when you see your girlfriend in pain? What a great boyfriend you are…” Your own words disgusted you, but it was better to keep him entertained for now.

He fell silent, and you couldn’t guess what expression was on his face at that moment. Without warning, he lifted his foot off your head, and you took the chance to slightly raise your head. Just as you hesitated to look at him, you felt the weight of his shoe press against your chin, gently lifting your face with a disturbing tenderness.

“You’re right” he said, his voice carrying a false tone of remorse. “But on second thought... a snake suits you better, don’t you think? I say that as a compliment.”

You shot him a sharp look, as if you could cut him with your eyes. But he simply ignored it, as if your contempt didn’t affect him in the slightest.

Without warning, he bent down and picked you up in a bridal carry, with unexpected gentleness. The contrast between his cruel words and soft gesture left you confused.

“Let’s go” he murmured, a slight smile playing at the corner of his lips. “The kitchen awaits.”

As he carried you toward the kitchen, you started to take in the rooms you passed through. He had really decorated everything exactly the way you told him.

______________________________________________________________ “So... what are your life goals? Or better yet, what are your dreams?” James asked, resting his elbow on the table as he watched you with interest.

“Dreams...” You paused for a moment, fork halfway to your mouth, and glanced out the window. The question seemed simple, but it struck deep. After a few seconds of thought, you cleared your throat softly. “I guess I’d like to live in a house by the beach. The sound of the waves relaxes me... The sand is nice too.”

James nodded thoughtfully and took a sip of his drink. “I totally get that. But you’ve got to be careful too. My mom used to go to the beach every weekend but never used sunscreen. She’d get all burnt, and guess who had to take care of her afterward?” He rolled his eyes slightly, but the gentle smile at the corner of his mouth betrayed the affection behind the memory.

“You really have a way of taking care of others...” You commented, a slightly softer tone in your voice. “I think our goals connect somehow. I can’t stand injustice, so I want to become a police officer after finishing college.” You extended the study book that was next to your plate. He took it carefully, flipping through some pages with interest, his eyes scanning the words.

“Now that you mention it...” He closed the book slowly, turning his gaze back to you. “You’re right, I have a dream similar to yours, but instead of living by the beach, I want to have a wedding there.”

“Oh, I’ve already been to one.” Your expression remained neutral, but your eyes clearly lit up at the subject. “My aunt got married on the beach. It was very beautiful. I think I’d like to do the same...”

The conversation went on. You were calm, sitting in your home, eating a simple meal made right there. There was no tension in the air. Just his presence there, talking to you, was enough to make you feel at ease. You felt safe and relaxed, as if you didn’t have to worry about anything else.

At that moment, you believed you had found the right person, someone who understood you.

______________________________________________________________ You shake your head, trying to push the bad memories away. Thinking about the promises he made wouldn’t change anything now. When you become aware of your surroundings again, James is placing you sitting in the kitchen chair.

The kitchen was spacious and incredibly tidy. The light wooden furniture matched the tropical style of the house, and all the utensils were neatly arranged, as if they had never been used. On the marble countertop, some fresh fruits and ingredients were already prepared.

“Breakfast isn’t ready yet, I just came back because I thought you might be feeling lonely in there.”

James turned his back, grabbing a knife to continue cutting whatever it was. The rhythmic sound of the knife hitting the board filled the silence. “So you want me to just sit here watching you cook?” you ask, breaking the silence.

He didn’t stop cutting, nor did he turn to you. “You used to do that before, liked watching me cook…”

You furrowed your brow. Did he notice that? You didn’t even know he paid attention to such details. But then the memory of everything he did to you came rushing back, and that little moment of distraction dissolved into the bitterness of reality.

You watch his movements, the way he handles the knife naturally. The sweet smell of herbs began to spread as the tea finished brewing, filling the air with an almost comforting aroma. Emphasis on almost.

James washed his hands and carefully dried them on a white linen cloth folded over the sink. Unhurried, he grabbed a tray he had prepared on the counter and turned toward you.

On the tray, fruits cut into small pieces were arranged in separate bowls, strawberries, bananas, kiwi slices. Next to them, little pots with condensed milk, chocolate syrup, and fresh cream completed the presentation. You studied the tray before commenting, “This isn’t the healthiest breakfast for someone who’s still recovering.”

“Responsible as always, darling” a nostalgic smile appeared on his face. “I know, but I think you also need to regain some of your mood.”

He pulled a chair next to you and sat down, placing the tray in front of himself. Your gaze showed confusion as you realized he positioned it in front of him, not you.

Without saying a word, he grabbed a fork, speared a piece of strawberry, and dipped it into the melted chocolate.

“Let’s do it like we used to.” He raised the fork slowly to your lips. “Don’t you miss when I used to feed you?”

You immediately turned your head to the side. “No way.”

“Don’t be like that.”

He tried again to bring the fork closer, persistent, but you turned to the other side. The little standoff went on for a few moments, almost like a silent game between you two. Only when he realized he wouldn’t win the game did he sigh, defeated.

“All right, all right. How about we make a deal?”

“A de...” You barely finished the word before he took advantage of your distraction and shoved the fork into your mouth. He let out a low chuckle but stopped as soon as he noticed the deadly look you shot back at him. It was clear he recognized the boundary he had nearly crossed.

“If you sit on my lap, I’ll let you feed yourself.”

You raised an eyebrow. “And what makes you think I’ll accept that?”

“Well...” He tilted his head slightly, still wearing that strange smile on his lips. “I’m giving you a choice.”

You quickly weighed the options. None of them were good, just the lesser evil. Letting him feed you would put you in a infantilized, helpless position. But accepting to sit on his lap… well, you could pretend you were just trying to make everything more bearable. Besides, by taking the fork yourself, you could keep a minimum of autonomy. An illusion, perhaps, but enough for now.

You took a deep breath, suppressing the pride and frustration boiling inside your chest “I’ll sit on your lap if you let me eat by myself.” His eyes lit up as if he had just received a gift. He nodded enthusiastically, a wide smile spreading across his face. “As you wish, darling.”

Without waiting any longer, he stood up and carefully lifted you. Then, he settled you onto his lap with surprising gentleness, adjusting your position so that both of you were facing the table where the breakfast tray rested.

You kept your face neutral, focusing only on the food in front of you and picked up the fork. Your first thought was to turn around and stab him, but you could feel his eyes on you, sharp and watchful like a hawk. You let the idea go and began eating in silence. As you chewed, he leaned in and began pressing his lips against random spots on your back. Each kiss sent a shiver down your spine, and you gripped the fork so tightly your knuckles turned white.

When you raised the fork to spear the last piece of fruit, James tried to take the utensil from your hand. You resisted. He then wrapped his hand around yours and gently guided it back toward the plate.

“I thought we had a deal.”

“I’m not feeding you” he said calmly. “I’m just guiding you.” Instinctively, your head tilted slightly upward as the fork approached your mouth. James didn’t seem interested in continuing the game, he held your chin firmly, though not aggressively, forcing it downward. You refused to open your lips, so he let go of your chin, pinched your nose gently and patiently, and waited.

A few seconds later, the discomfort overpowered your stubbornness. You opened your mouth to breathe, and he took the opportunity to place the piece of fruit between your lips.

“There. That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

You knew he wouldn’t take well the answer you had in mind, so you held it back, biting your lower lip hard to keep the words from slipping out. He didn’t insist, he simply lifted you gently from his lap and placed you back in your own chair.

“I’m going to do the dishes. Once I’m done, I want to show you your new home.”

You didn’t argue. Getting to know the area might be useful. The more you learned about the place, the better your chances of escaping.

______________________________________________________________ James took you through every room in the house, pointing out details of the decor, personal items he had brought to please you, and speaking with enthusiasm about everything he had prepared.

It was only later, when you looked toward the horizon and saw the sea stretching as far as the eye could see, that you understood the full weight of the situation. You weren’t just on a beach, you were on an island.

That made everything worse.

Still, a spark of hope ignited. There were guards scattered throughout the property. Their presence made escaping more dangerous, yes, but it could also be the key. If you could just get close to one of them… maybe you could ask for help.

The tour lasted the entire day, and even when you tried to hide your exhaustion, James noticed. He decided the tour would have to continue the next day. Now, you’re in the bedroom’s spacious bathroom, where the jacuzzi softly warms the water with gentle steam.

You're sitting in the center of the tub, the water enveloping your body, while James sits behind you on the edge. You insisted on bathing alone, wanting to preserve some sense of independence, but he refused to risk you getting hurt or something unexpected happening.

In the end, you reached a compromise: he would help wash your hair, but you wouldn’t take your clothes off. James agreed without protest and removed your restraints. At the moment, his hands are gliding slowly through your hair, massaging and washing it gently, while you lather your body from the front. "Be careful not to get your bandage wet. Even with the protection I put on it, it’s better not to take any chances."

You nodded silently. To someone who didn’t know him well, his tone might have seemed harsh, maybe even cold, but you knew it was the same clinical tone he always used with patients.

"I'm done. Can you hand me the handheld shower?"

"Aren’t you going to wash your back?" he asked, already leaning in. Before you could answer, James reached for the soap on the soap dish where you had left it. Without hesitation, he slid his hands under your wet shirt, gliding the soap across your back in slow, deliberate motions.

He leaned in, pressing your back against his, and whispered against your ear “Just relax, let me take care of you for a moment.”

Your body shivered involuntarily, but you didn’t resist. After so many arguments throughout the day, you simply didn’t have the strength to fight anymore.

“Aren’t you tired too? You spent the whole day carrying me around.”

Your attempt to push him away with logic sounded more like concern, and you realized it too late. Behind you, you felt the smile forming on his lips. “I’ll never be too tired to take care of my darling.”

If you ignored the fact that it was him there with you, it would’ve been a perfect moment. The warm water, the circular motions on your back, the silence that filled the bathroom, it was almost comforting. At least you were getting clean, even if fully clothed.

You thought he was done when he returned the soap to the dish, but then his hands came back to your shoulders, now with a gentle massage. You didn’t protest, just closed your eyes and tried to disconnect from reality. Pretend it’s not him, [Name].

His fingers softened their movements once he noticed your body was finally giving in. You took a deep breath, trying to take what you could from that strange moment of calm.

“Feeling any better? You were tense all day.”

“I think so…”

“Good.” After a few minutes in silence, James removed his hands from your body and picked up the handheld shower. The warm water ran gently, washing away the foam from your skin. When the last trace of soap was gone, he reached for the edge of the tub and opened the drain, letting the water slowly begin to empty.

Turning his back to you, he gave you privacy to remove your clothes. When you told him it was okay to turn around, he came back, wrapped your back with a soft towel, and helped you sit on a dry chair.

Unfortunately, you weren’t very lucky with clothes. He allowed you to put on your underwear, but insisted on helping you into the nightgown. You didn’t really understand why, if he had let you bathe fully clothed earlier, why not give you privacy now? But you figured it was probably because it would be faster with his help.

Once you were dressed, he picked you up and carried you to bed. You were already feeling quite drowsy. He pulled one of the soft blankets up to your shoulders.

“You can sleep now, darling. Once I’m done, I’ll come lie down with you.” He returned to the bathroom, likely to take his own shower.

Your gaze fixed on the bedroom ceiling, mind already turning over what to do the next day. Maybe it would be a good idea to start looking for places to hide things that could help you escape.

Your thoughts didn’t get much further than that, you drifted off to sleep.

______________________________________________________________

After some time, you woke up to the gentle touch of a hand caressing your cheek. Your eyes opened slowly, still heavy with sleep, and you turned your face toward the touch, finding James watching you with a tender expression.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to wake you.” he said in a low voice, one that sounded genuinely regretful.

You remained silent for a moment, just observing him. He was shirtless, a few drops of water still trickling down his chest, likely from his damp hair after the shower.

“Don’t do that again” your voice came out more sleepy than firm as you pulled your face away from his hand and turned your back to him. The pain in your thigh was still there, but no longer intense enough to keep you from sleeping on your back.

You expected him to respect your space and leave you alone, but he didn’t. James came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you gently close to his body.

“You seemed to be enjoying yourself in the bath… How about we continue that?” he whispered, his hands sliding along your body.

The irritation that erupted inside you made you open your eyes, fully awake. “I don’t want to.” you said firmly.

But he didn’t back off. His hand began to roam your thighs. “You can go to sleep while I help you relax. I know you’re exhausted.”

You reacted quickly, grabbing his wrist and pulling it away “I said I DON’T want to!”

With his other hand, he grabbed your wrist that was holding his and squeezed hard until you were forced to let go. “Let me go, you’re hurting me!”

He was silent for a moment, then asked with a voice mixed with confusion and irritation “Why are you acting like this?”

“Acting like what…” you started to say, but didn’t get to finish. In a swift move, he pulled you, turning your body onto your back and climbing on top of you. Your hands were now pinned under his, firmly held against the mattress.

“Why are you acting like this?! You never cared about this before!” His voice was explosive, filled with rage. He seemed on the verge of losing control, tired of your resistance after a whole day.

“I didn’t care when we were together, but now we’re not.” You try to pull away from his grip “How many times do I have to explain this to you?! You destroyed everything when you cheated on me!”

“I’m trying to fix it! I really am!” His voice now trembled, and his eyes dropped to his collarbone, avoiding your gaze. “I know what I did was wrong, I just… I just thought…”

“Thought what?!” Your voice came out firm. It was like suddenly he was the victim in the story.

“I thought you didn’t love me…” he continued, his voice softer. “I knew how you were, but I thought I could change you. I thought that, by being with me, you’d be more affectionate.”

Your eyes widened and you felt them start to water, had he never seen your efforts?

“So… you never saw what I did for you?”

“I thought you were doing those little gestures because you felt sorry for me. I didn’t think it meant you were changing…”

You looked away and stayed silent, swallowing the pain of his indifference toward everything you had given. The silence caught his attention, and he leaned in, trying to see your face.

“That’s why I went after someone else! I just wanted to be loved. I thought what I was getting from you… wasn’t love.”

“You’re a horrible person.” The firmness in your words before completely vanished, and the tears you’d been holding back started to fall.

“Just like you, [Name].” The coldness in his voice surprised you, and you turned your gaze toward him.

“Tell me… Who was there when you were bullying at school, huh? Who cleaned up the mess you left behind? Who took care of the people you hurt just to make sure no one reported you?”

“I… I know. I know I was a horrible person, but…”

“You weren’t, you are!” he growled, tightening his grip on your wrists even more. “And that’s why only I can understand you.”

“You’re wrong! I’m not like that anymore!” you rebelled again, your eyes burning with anger and fear. “Unlike you, I’m trying to change! I really am!”

"Change?" he leaned in until your faces were almost touching. "You murdered someone just a few months ago… Do you really think you’re going to become a police officer after that? Do you think anyone’s going to forgive you?"

As much as you try to fight it, deep down you know he’s right. You swore you would change. Promised yourself you’d become someone better, someone worthy of forgiveness.

But the guilt that haunts you can’t silence one thought, that woman… She deserved what happened. Just like the man currently on top of you does too.

"But… I forgive you." His voice came out soft, almost compassionate, as he released your wrists. You pulled them back toward your body, shielding them like you were trying to erase the marks of his touch.

"You killed her because of me… I know I’ll never be able to repay what you did for me, but I want to spend the rest of my life devoted to you."

He wiped away the tears you hadn’t even realized had fallen, then sealed your lips with a gentle kiss.

His words echoed in your mind, and even though you didn’t want to admit it…You knew he was right.

Deep down, the truth was already clear to you.

______________________________________________________________

Months went by, and you admit it wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Now that your thigh has fully healed, you’re able to walk around the house with ease. After so many renovations, the place no longer feels like a simple home, it’s practically become a mansion.

James allows you to walk around the island as well. That filled you with hope at first, you even believed you might find other people there. But, over time, you realized that the only figures crossing your path were always the same men, guards. Guards at the gates, guards along the trails, guards watching from afar. Guards everywhere.

He seems determined to make all your dreams come true. He’s always speaking with enthusiasm about the things you once said you wanted, going out of his way to recreate scenes he claims were meaningful to you. And truthfully, many of them are. But none of it feels real to you, not when it's all happening because of the wrong person.

The only demand James imposes is that you spend time with him every day. He works from home most of the time, but on certain days, he needs to leave for the office. It’s during those intervals that you’ve had your best chances to explore the house and the island, still within the limits he set, of course.

Communicating with the guards has been a challenge from the beginning. Most of them wouldn’t even look in your direction. They were always on high alert, eyes scanning the surroundings as if they were being watched constantly, as if someone could threaten them with just a glance.

After trying for a long time, you finally managed to get a few words out of one of them. He worked at the main entrance of the house and seemed to be more than just a watchman, he acted like a personal bodyguard. On the island, he was only known as “T.”

You couldn’t speak freely. All communication had to be done through notes, since, according to him, all the guards were required to wear embedded earpieces in their uniforms, monitored at all times.

T told you he was there because of a personal debt to James. Years ago, James had saved his son’s life, and ever since then, he felt obligated to repay that gesture with loyalty.

At first, you thought it would be nearly impossible to make him see your situation for what it was. But, to your surprise, T understood everything faster than you expected. The truth is, he already suspected. He already felt that something was deeply wrong with that place. As grateful as he was, he still knew how to tell right from wrong. With T’s help, the two of you came up with a plan where every detail was carefully calculated. You knew that if it failed, you wouldn’t get another chance.

After all that time waiting, the day finally arrived.

At that moment, you were sitting on James’s lap while he worked. In the past few days, he’d been dedicating himself to work late into the night, and because of that, you had to adapt your own routine, sleeping during the day and living like a true night owl.

Of course, you complained, but James simply said it was temporary and that he wanted you to get used to it. Though it had been difficult at first, the new routine ended up creating unexpected opportunities, now you were able to hide the items you'd been gathering for your escape much more easily.

Your fingers moved delicately as you worked on a new amigurumi, inspired by a character you’d recently seen on television. It had once been a hobby you practiced out of obligation in prison, but it had since become a way to relax.

When James discovered your new hobby, he was so delighted that he dedicated an entire room for you to work in. Whenever he could, he’d join you, eager to learn. Since you didn’t have much patience for teaching, he tried to learn on his own, watching you closely. You even felt a bit sorry for all the puncture wounds on his hands and eventually decided to help him. You had a feeling he did it on purpose.

Your thoughts were interrupted when you felt a head rest gently on your shoulder.

“This character is cute… I didn’t know you liked them.”

You shrugged, eyes still focused on the precise stitching. “Their look got stuck in my head, so I decided to use the inspiration.”

He stayed quiet for a moment, watching you as your fingers danced between yarn and needle. Only when he noticed the hours slipping by did he finally move.

“I’m going to make something for us to eat, darling. Want to join me?”

“Wouldn’t that be breakfast? It’s nearly sunrise.”

“You could call it that.”

“Not now” you replied after pretending to think for a moment. With care, your fingers adjusted a loose strand of the amigurumi’s hair. “I want to finish this first.”

You stood slowly and walked over to the bed with the doll in hand, your eyes never leaving it for even a second.

“As you wish.” He walked to the door, but before leaving, he cast one last glance over his shoulder. “There's something for you in the wardrobe. Please try it on.” That caught your attention and made you lift your head, but he was already gone. Fortunately, this has been happening often in recent days. He’d been leaving more frequently, which although strange had opened the window you needed to finally start planning an escape with T.

You opened the wardrobe and found a luxurious golden box. Carefully, you pulled it out and placed it on the bed. As you opened it, your heart sank.

No… this couldn’t be what you were thinking.

You took out the elegant dress and examined it closely. Yes, it was exactly what you feared.

The fancy wedding dress looked like it had been tailored specifically for you. So that’s why he had been going out so much. The flowers, the decorations, the candles… He was planning a beach wedding.

A small note fell from the dress

“Tonight will be a special night. I hope you liked it.”

You felt challenged, as if the day you were planning to be the best of your life was, in fact, going to be his.

Even if every part of you wanted to tear the dress apart with your bare hands, you knew you had to wear it. If James came back and noticed you hadn't put it on yet, he’d insist on helping you.

You headed to the bathroom and tried on the dress. It was truly beautiful… You didn’t expect it to look that good on you.

Wearing something he had picked especially for you made your skin crawl, but you couldn’t bring yourself to leave it behind now. Better to take it with you and sell it to some rich woman, you’d need a place to stay after all.

Just as you were about to take the dress off, James appeared in the doorway. Seeing the opened box on the bed, he said "Having trouble, darling? I’m almost done, I’ll be back to help you in a minute."

Almost done?! You glanced at the clock. 05:34

You’d spent more time on this than you intended, it was better not to waste another second. T had probably already left the hammer hidden by the window, just as planned. You walked over, and there it was. You picked it up and examined it carefully, it was heavy and solid, strong enough to do real damage, no doubt about it.

You felt guilty for not telling T this part of the plan. But if everything went the way it was supposed to, you wouldn’t be here when he found out the truth.

Cautiously, you peeked through the bedroom door. In the kitchen, James stood with his back to you, focused on stirring something on the stove.

Your heart pounded.

What if he turns around now?

Your eyes stayed fixed on his neck, more precisely the base of it.

Medulla oblongata.

If you hit the right spot, it would be an instant death. At least, that’s what one of his medical books said.

You inhaled deeply, trying to steady the anxiety tightening your chest. Your eyes didn’t stray for a second, waiting for the moment his guard would drop.

Finally, you decide to act. You begin walking slowly toward him from behind, both hands hidden behind your back, gripping the hammer tightly. With your other hand, you discreetly lift the hem of the dress to avoid making any noise on the floor.

He remains unaware, but as you get close enough, you notice a slight shiver running down his shoulders, he must have sensed your presence “Darling, you…” he begins to say, turning slowly, but you don’t let him finish.

In one swift motion, you raise the hammer and strike the base of his neck. The sound of the impact makes your entire body tremble. You take a step back, fear and adrenaline flooding every sense. Your eyes squeeze shut in a desperate attempt to shield yourself from the horror of what you’ve just done, but the heavy thud of his body hitting the ground forces you to open them again. James lies motionless.

You did it. You struck the medulla oblongata.

Even so, the tight knot in your throat refuses to loosen. You know he won’t wake up, but the anxiety doesn’t go away.

You step back from the body slowly, knowing now is the time to run to find T. The sooner you get off this island, the better.

You walk to the door and cast one last glance at the fallen body.

“I promised I’d kill you when I got out of prison, didn’t I?” you murmur before running out of the house.

You struggle to run through the island’s forest. Branches snag at your dress, as if the island itself is trying to stop you from leaving. The ground is wet, covered in slippery leaves, and raindrops feel like blades against your skin. T had told you he secured a boat for you to get out of here, but the trail he left for you to follow seems to be dissolving in the rain.

Just keep running, [Name].

After a few minutes, something red catches your eye, caught on a branch. It’s the ribbon T promised to use to mark the path. You pick up your pace, heart pounding.

When you reach the shore, you see the boat. T is there, soaked, trying to get the engine to start. He turns around with a smile on his face.

“You made it!” he says, placing his hands on your shoulders as you catch your breath. “The forest and the rain really didn’t go easy on you. Are you okay?”

You glance down at the countless cuts covering your skin. The pain is just starting to pulse now, as if adrenaline had put your nerves to sleep.

“Yeah, yeah, just some scratches,” you try to ease his worry. “So, how are things?”

“All according to plan” he replies, opening a compartment at the bottom of the boat. “Food, clothes, gas…”

You nod at each item he points out.

“You better hurry, we don’t know when James will wake up.”

“…Yeah, I better go.” you say as you step in, more worried about leaving before he discovers the truth.

T helps you get settled. When everything is ready, you turn to him, feeling a mix of relief and gratitude.

“I… I really want to thank you. I couldn’t have escaped without your help.”

He hands you the last bag of food and pats your shoulder. “Don’t worry, it’s the right thing to do. I hope you…” Before he finishes, you hear a gunshot.

T chokes, his gaze blurring. Suddenly, blood spills from his mouth, hot and dark, staining his clothes.

…What?

He falls to his knees, clutching his chest, unable to speak a word. Without thinking, you jump off the boat and kneel beside him, desperately trying to stop the bleeding.

The dress, once soaked from the rain, now stains bright red.

“We’re even now.” A familiar voice echoes behind you with a coldness that chills your blood.

You don’t want to look up. How could you?

“You’re not even going to look at me? Looks like I’ll have to make you.” A sigh escapes your lips as something explodes next to T’s neck, right at the carotid artery. Blood spurts out, splattering your face, while his lifeless body collapses onto you.

An explosive device?

“So? Are you going to pay attention to me now?”

You feel the world spinning, but gather enough courage to lift your head. And there he is.

James.

Alive. Standing. With that damn smile. The blood drains from your face as if pulled from within, your stomach twists, and for a moment you think you’re going to throw up. Everything around you becomes noise, the sound of the sea crashing against the shore, the wind blowing through the open window, even your own heartbeat. All drowned out by his presence.

“How… How are you alive? I made sure to hit your medulla oblongata…” Your face twists in pure horror. You were certain. You had hit it!

…Right?

He laughs. A soft, almost innocent laugh, as if mocking a child who confused right with left.

“Actually, it was the occipital bone.”

He sees your terrified expression and mistakes it for confusion. He starts explaining, almost like a patient teacher.

“You hit right here.” He raises his hand and points to a specific spot on the back of his neck, the exact region you aimed at. “But this is where you needed to hit.” His finger moves just a few millimeters down.

So close.

Had you really missed by such a small margin?

Your breathing grew heavy, each inhale a struggle. You had ruined everything. The entire plan, all the risk… and worse, you had dragged an innocent into this disaster.

The blood of an innocent was now on your hands.

Before you could react, James was already crouched before you.

“See? You need me even to kill someone.”

As your tears mixed with the cold rain and the blood running down your face, he slowly ran his hand through your hair, stroking it with a disconcerting gentleness, as if comforting a frightened child.

“Now we are both sinners.” His voice was sweet, almost gentle, but carried a cruelty impossible to ignore.

He kept stroking your hair for a few more moments, silently, until something behind you seemed to catch his attention.

“The sun is rising, darling. It’s time.”

His voice sounded soft, almost serene. The same hand that just seconds before was caressing your hair now squeezed yours, pulling you firmly to stand up.

You didn’t understand what he was saying. You still couldn’t process everything that had happened. Your mind was numb, thoughts scrambled, as if your body was still there, but your consciousness was far away.

James kicked something hard away, the sound of the impact echoing on the wet floor. When you looked at what it was, you saw T’s lifeless body thrown aside as if he were nothing.

Then he wrapped an arm around your waist, holding you tightly, probably to keep your steps steady as you both started walking.

As you walk, you see a body.

Then three, four, five…

The count continues. They are everywhere, lying on the ground, blood dripping from their necks. Your dress, which before only had T’s bloodstain, now drags on the floor, stained with the blood of all the others.

James notices the movement of your gaze, the way your head slowly turns, looking at every dead face that appears in your path. “Oh, them?” he says in a casual, almost distracted tone. “I forgot the remote also detonated all the explosive devices.”

The coldness in his voice frightens you. So you killed several innocent people?

Most of the guards were there, their bodies scattered, fallen over the chairs decorated for the wedding. The room was stained with blood, the heavy, humid air carrying the strong, bitter smell of iron, making your stomach churn. You tried to vomit but couldn’t. A lump in your throat seemed to tighten everything, leaving you breathless.

He walked beside you with an unsettling calmness, his eyes reflecting the pale light of dawn. James stopped in the center of the altar, where blood splatters from the guards covered the floor, now also marked by the soles of his shoes.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” said the soft, almost reverent voice. “I arranged everything so it would be exactly the way you like it. I wish I could have done more, but I admit that at this moment, I couldn’t ask for a better situation.”

You looked around, the contrast between the horrible scene and his words sending chills down your spine. 

He turned to you, took a small box from his pocket, and with a slow movement, opened it, revealing a ring that softly gleamed, reflecting the faint light of the rising sun. Carefully, he took the ring from the box and slid it onto your finger.

“Now, after all this time, we are married.”

You mustered the strength to say something, your voice barely a whisper: “…I don’t remember saying yes.”

An enigmatic smile appeared on his lips. “I’m sure you would have accepted in the end.”

Before you could respond, he gently held your hand, almost in contrast with all the violence surrounding you, and brought your fingers to his lips. He kissed the newly placed ring on your finger with an almost ceremonial care. Then, he softly pulled your hand and guided you behind the altar.

When your feet touched the cold sand, the icy water soaked your feet, making you shiver. James took off his jacket and wrapped his arms around you.

“Do you remember the dance we were practicing?” he asked, adjusting the jacket around your shoulders. “It’s been quite a while, but I still remember every step.”

You let out a soft sigh, not of impatience, but of indignation. You turned your face to the side, trying to avoid looking at him. But he wouldn’t allow it. With two fingers, he held your chin and turned your face back to him.

“It’s alright, I’ll guide you.”

He takes the first step, slow and steady, gently pulling you. Your feet slide against his, forced to keep pace with his rhythm. You want to rebel, to show your anger, to run away. But you can’t.

Do you even deserve to want anything?

His hands grip your waist firmly, guiding every movement. In a smooth turn, he spins you around, then pulls you back.

The innocent people whose blood is now on your hands can feel nothing.

He lifts you out of the water, your body suspended for a moment before touching the ground again.

You should just stop resisting and stay with him. You wouldn’t be happy, but wouldn’t that be a fair way to pay for your sins?

Then, he positions you with your back against his chest.

You’re not important enough for your death to pay for the lives lost because of you. Would the death of a bad person like you even be enough to repay the innocent lives?

Without letting go of your hand, he leans you back, his arm firmly supporting your arched body.

You promised you would change, that you would become someone better than you were in the past. Maybe you have no salvation.

You both spin together, and water splashes at your feet.

Actually, it would be hypocrisy. It’s like you’re forgetting what you did.

He slides back to the middle with you.

Then stay suffering, being unhappy.

In one last step, he pulls you close to him.

It’s the only thing you can do anyway.

Your breaths come in gasps as the dance ends. Your thoughts are interrupted when he begins to speak.

“I’m willing to spend eternity by your side, until your sins are forgiven, my sinner.” ______________________________________________________________ Epilogue

[flowerandblood]

The Cry of the Sea

Halloween Request Oneshots Series

[ pirate! • Aemond x mermaid! • female ]

[ warnings: sex content, virginity loss, fingering, smut, angst, abduction, violence, threats, obsession ]

[ description: A mermaid who rarely surfaces of the water decides to save a drowning boy. While she tries to keep him safe, she is kidnapped by strange, terrifying people, taken away from her mother and her home. On her way, she meets a captain with one eye who will decide her future fate. Obsessive, possessive, dark!Aemond.]

*Warning! Note from the author: The heroine has a name because of the plot, but apart from that there are no detailed descriptions of her appearance. Oneshot is written from a third-person perspective.

*English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy!*

My others works: Masterlist

____

She had only heard about who people were from stories, and what she learned made her rarely floated to the surface of the water – her mother said they were cruel, that they killed through need, waged wars and destroyed each other.

She also said that in order to walk on the ground they needed two limbs, as they had two arms, so in place of their fins were to be so-called legs.

She never dared to ask her mother how she knew such things – she spoke of something like a sound, like music, that it reverberated through the air and was pleasant to the ears, that it had a rhythm, that people danced and jumped to it.

She couldn't imagine it; she, her mother and the other inhabitants of the underwater city communicated with finger gestures.

One day she was awakened by a muffled bang, something she had never heard before, and she swam out into the night depths, seeing little. She widened her eyes in surprise to see not the night sky but an orange glow above the surface of the water. She looked back, thinking in horror that she should return to her shelter, but decided that she would just look out to see what was happening, to see if they were in danger.

So she surfaced, feeling the air in her nostrils which caused her pain – she used them so rarely that her lungs were not properly developed and she felt like she was suffocating.

She plugged her ears, terrified, hearing loud shot after shot, the great mountain with sails that her mother called a ship was hitting another masthead with fire, and she was between them, not understanding what was happening. She panicked, hiding under the water again.

The sound was instantly muffled as she plunged into the depths – she heard suddenly a loud splash beside her and saw the body of a white-haired boy struggling to lift himself up.

She could see his limbs, his legs unable to lift him higher like her fin, merely waving fruitlessly in the watery depths, his body sinking lower and lower to the bottom.

She remembered her mother's words about how people couldn't breathe underwater and once they fell into it, they died.

That's why she swam after him, terrified, grasping him in her hands; he was struggling, terrified, but she managed to hold him and they emerged from the water together, panting loudly and coughing.

"Daeron!" She heard a loud, low, desperate cry, which frightened her – for the first time she heard the words, human speech – it sounded strange, not like the noise of the water.

"Here!" She heard the childish, squeaky cry of the boy she was holding and plugged her ear with one hand, feeling a terrible pain. She heard the splash of water beside them and saw that a much smaller boat had fallen into the water.

There were people in it, big, pale, dirty, frightening.

She wanted to run away, but she was afraid that if she let go the boy would start sinking again, so she held him until they came closer. She helped him get into the boat, panting hard, shivering all over, the men who sat inside looked at her in disbelief.

"Holy Seven. I think it's a mermaid!"

"Kill her, she can deceive with her singing!"

"Are you mad?! We'll get a fortune for her! We take her, let the captain decide."

She heard loud sounds spoken quickly, feeling like her head was going to explode – she wanted to turn around and submerge herself back, but she felt a large hand grab her by her hair.

Something strange came out of her throat, a sort of high-pitched squeal that frightened her alone, and then she felt burning wetness in her eyes. Even though she was fighting her way out she didn't make it, another man grabbed her by her shoulders and forcibly threw her into the lifeboat.

She was feeling that she was cold and wrapped her arms around herself, shivering all over, her half-naked body now surrounded by the cool night wind, one of the men shouted that they were swimming away and back up.

"Drop the net!"

"Don't hurt her! She saved me!" Whined the boy she had rescued from death, pushing away the men who wanted to touch her, laughing loudly, amused, looking at her body.

She was terrified and trembledall over – a white-haired child came up to her and embraced her, shivering along with her.

"It's going to be alright. I won't let you get hurt." He whispered softly, something in the sound he made of himself reassuring her.

She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the moisture running down her cheeks, thinking only of the fact that she should have listened to her mother, and now she had to pay for her curiosity.

They threw her into a net like an animal, then lifted her up with a hand crane and her body suddenly fell to the wooden floor, lots of legs around her, lots of men speaking loudly to each other.

She covered her ears and cried, feeling only pain, terrified and frozen, and suddenly she felt that something was wrong.

The voices around her fell silent as she lifted her gaze to her body.

In place of her shiny fin, covered in beautiful scales, were two long limbs, the same as theirs.

Legs.

She covered her mouth with her hand and turned away, another terrifying high-pitched sound came from her throat that felt like it tore her skin – she just cried loudly, terrified.

What had happened?

Where was her tail?

Her mother never spoke of her father.

She said he was not worth mentioning.

"He chose the sea, but not me." She had told her once, but it was only now that it was beginning to occur to her what she might have meant.

"What is the meaning of this?" She heard a low, cold voice and saw above her a man with a large scar on his left cheek and a black eye patch.

He had the same white hair as the child she had saved, except that his was longer, tied with a black ribbon – he looked at her in disbelief, as if she were some strange, frightening creature.

"It's a mermaid, Captain! I saw for myself, as long as she was in the water she had a long tail!"

"That's right, sir, if we sell her we'll get crores!"

"Don't sell her, brother! She saved me!" She heard the voice of the same little boy holding him by the sleeve of his black leather coat, his gaze directed at her again, this time focused and excited.

"We're turning back to the harbour. Find her some clothes, nobody can touch her." He said, and after a moment the men lifted her up. Although she tried to pull away, it was to no avail.

They forced her to put on a long, smelly cloth and gave her some scratchy material, although when she covered herself with it, it made her feel warmer.

They locked her in a room from which she could only see the sea through a small hole. She watched in despair as she moved away from her home, from her mother – she pressed her forehead against the wooden wall and wept.

She heard footsteps, quiet at first, then louder and louder, and the door to her cabin opened – the same terrifying man with a black eye patch stood over her, closing the door behind him.

"Who are you?" He asked. She looked at him with big eyes, not understanding what she was supposed to do, what they wanted from her. She only swallowed loudly, not taking her eyes off him.

He came closer to her, and she stepped back quickly, pressing her back against the wall, breathing loudly, terrified.

"Do not be afraid." He said a little more calmly, kneeling in front of her, something unsettling in his eye, some kind of unhealthy fascination.

She saw the gesture of his tongue running swiftly over his lower lip, as if he was just preparing to eat something tasty.

"Who. Are. You." He repeated word after word and tapped his finger against her chest hidden under the blanket. She flinched at the gesture, curling into herself, moving as far away from him as possible.

He lifted his hand and pressed it to his chest, wearing only a grey shirt tucked into black leather breeches.

"Aemond." He said calmly. After a moment, he placed his hand on her chest, looking at her expectantly.

"You?"

She wondered if he wanted to know who she was, if he had just confessed his name to her.

She saw his eye widen as she lifted her hand, touched her thumb with her pointing finger, signifying the syllable 'Le', and then lifted her pointing finger up, signifying the lone vowel 'a'.

Lea.

He looked at her, shaking his head, sitting down in front of her.

"What does that mean?" She heard him say the words quickly, but completely misunderstood what it was supposed to mean, so she showed him the same gesture signifying her name once more.

He ran his thumb over his lower lip, looking at her intensely, tapping his fingers on his knee. He rose suddenly, startling her with it, opening some cupboard with a loud clatter, taking out some large object.

She saw that what he was holding in his hands had cards and patterns – he turned it towards her, moving closer to her and it was only then that she noticed it was letters.

Her mother had told her about them and had even drawn them for her on the sand, explaining that people used them to write down words and their sounds.

She had written what her name and a few other sentences would sound like in their language, wanting to give her a comparison of how their gestures translated into their syllables.

She touched her finger quickly to a letter she recognised as 'L'. He looked at it curiously and read it out loud.

"L" He said and she nodded, pointing then to the "E" and "A".

He looked at her in disbelief, the corner of his mouth twitching in what she might have called a smile if not for the glint in his eye.

"Lea." He whispered, and she blinked, understanding that he had said her name as a whole, that this was what it sounded like.

She nodded slowly and he licked his lips excitedly, moving far too close to her, placing the book on her lap.

He began to point his fingers at more letters, and she followed the movement of his hand, trying to decipher what he was trying to convey to her.

Y O U S A V E D M Y B R O T H E R

You

sa

ved

my

bro

ther

You saved my brother.

The fair-haired boy.

She looked at him puzzled, swallowing loudly and nodded. She heard him sigh with some kind of relief and joy, happy to be able to communicate with her, pressing his lips together, leaning over the book again.

DAERON

"Daeron." She choked out the word she had heard when she had held his brother in her arms, which apparently was what he had shouted then, terrified.

She heard their captain snort a laugh under his breath, running his hand over his face, looking at her in disbelief.

"Yes." He hummed softly, his voice seeming calmer and gentler to her. She leaned over the book, this time she wanted to tell him something, and he immediately bowed his head, looking at the letters she was pointing at.

WHY

She glanced at him with her lips tightened and he looked at her, swallowing loudly, his gaze cooled. He stood up abruptly and she was unable to make a sound, not knowing how to stop him – he walked out and left her alone, locking the door.

She tried to lift herself up on those two strange limbs, but she was falling, they seemed limp and weak to her.

She preferred to crawl – she wrapped herself in her blanket and fell asleep lying against the wall, crying silently, praying to the Drowned God to take her back to the sea.

The next day, the little boy she had saved brought her food and placed it in front of her, stroking her head, saying something quietly. He then ran away as if he should not come to her and closed the door behind him.

She spotted the fish and bread on her plate and began to eat quickly, hungry and thirsty – she was given some disgusting liquid in a steel jug, but she drank it, not having much choice.

She spent the whole day lying in one place and it was only at night that she heard the sound of the lock being opened, the same man standing over her again.

He approached her slowly, crouching on the floor in front of her, massaging his chin. She held his book pressed against her chest, tried to look through it earlier, but understood nothing of it.

He gently took it from her hand.

She shuddered as he laid down on the floor just behind her, resting his cheek against her shoulder, placing the open book in front of them, pointing one by one with his finger at the letters and syllables he had spoken so that she could see them, illuminated by the moonlight.

"We - are - sai - ling - to - King's - Lan - ding." He whispered softly, and she blinked, swallowing hard, understanding enough that they were sailing somewhere far away, that she would never see home again.

She closed her eyes and wept quietly, feeling her body begin to tremble, a shudder went through her as she felt his lips on her neck.

"Don't cry." He whispered in her ear softly, warmly, tenderly, and though she didn't know what it meant, she thought he sympathised with her.

"I have no choice. If I let you go now, my grandfather would kill me. You are a chance for us." He hummed the words into her ear, his wet, warm lips trailing higher and higher.

She wondered what he was actually doing, why she was getting hot from this kind of touch, why she felt a pleasant pulsing and tension between her limbs.

They both started panting as his hand slipped between her legs and began to touch her slick, puffy folds with his fingertips – she felt that this was a very private and intimate place, her thighs clenched involuntarily but his fingers slipped inside anyway.

She heard his every stroke accompanied by a loud click of her moisture, with every move he made a pleasant warmth and tickle ran through her spine, she felt something slap hard against her buttocks and moaned softly.

"− fuck −" She heard him mutter behind her, from which a shudder went through her. She sobbed in surprise when she felt his finger suddenly inside her, clasping her hand on his wrist, terrified.

He only shushed her while moving it deep inside her fleshy, moist walls, streching her again and again, rubbing it against the place from which waves of pleasure passed through her, from which she lost the remnants of her strong will.

She didn't put herself against him when she felt him lift her thigh, as something hot, big and hard pushed against her swollen slit from below and began to slide into her flesh, pushing her core apart with her loud cry.

His free hand held her tightly – she clenched her fingers against his skin, panting along with him as he began to move suddenly, pressing his lips to her neck, to her cheek, whispering and groaning low some words whose meaning she didn't understand, his thrusts pushing her hot, throbbing muscles to the limit, opening her wide with loud clicks of her moisture.

She had no idea what was actually happening, what they were doing, but it felt good – she felt pleasure, so she let him do what he wanted, easing down completely, moaning loudly as he turned her onto her stomach and lifted her buttocks, slamming into her with loud, wet slaps, his breath heavy, loud and aroused, his fingers digging into her soft skin.

"− I'm going to keep you for myself − you'll swell from my seed and give me offspring born from the sea − my inheritance − oh, fuck −" He mumbled out, feeling her walls begin to clench against his erection, sucking it inside her. A wave of pleasure shook her entire body, stupefying her and making nothing reach her – she felt something hot spill inside her, and then there were only their loud, accelerated breaths.

"− mine −"

_____

Aemond Taglist:

(bold means I couldn't tag you)

@its-actually-minicika @notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess

[bookcub]

Chappell Roan Book Rec

like many other, I am currently obsessed with The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess so here are a few book recs based on the songs!!

(you can message me for questions about content warnings!)

Femininomon

A Guest in the House by E. M. Carroll (horror graphic novel)

What happens when you marry a mediocre liar and there's a ghost you are definitely attracted to in the house (that might be his dead wife)?

Relevant lyric: Stuck in the suburbs, you're folding his laundry/Got what you wanted so stop feeling sorry

Bonus Rec: Romancing the Inventor by Gail Carriger (adult steampunk romance)

Red Wine Supernova

Satisfaction Guaranteed by Karelia Stenz-Waters (adult romance)

Imagine inheriting a sex toy shop with a enchanting stranger who you feel incredibly connected to. . .

Relevant lyric: I heard you like magic/I got a wand and a rabbit

Bonus Rec: Sunstone by Stjepan Šejić (adult romance graphic novel)

After Midnight

Ash by Malinda Lo (YA fantasy)

I had to choose a queer Cinderella for this one, especially one whose mother warns her away from the forest at night.

Relevant lyric: This is what I wanted, this is what I like/I've been a good, good girl for a long time now

Bonus Rec: A Restless Truth by Freya Marske (adult historical fantasy, sequel)

Coffee

The Witch's Heart by Genevieve Gornichec (adult fantasy)

When your ex is the trickster god Loki and you have prophetic futures, you know you can never just have coffee.

Relevant lyric: Here come the excuses that fuel the illusions/But I'd rather feel something than nothing at all,

Bonus Rec: Seven Days in June by Tia Williams (adult contemporary)

Casual

The Last Tale of the Flower Bride by Roshani Chokshi (adult gothic)

Remember that toxic homoerotic best friend you had a child? Who believed in magic and was also the most manipulative person you've ever met? It never was a casual relationship, was it?

Relevant lyric: Hate that I let this drag on so long, you can go to hell

Bonus Rec: Ben and Beatriz by Katalina Gamarra (adult romance)

Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl

A Spindle Splintered/A Mirror Mended by Alix E. Harrow (adult fantasy)

Entering the fairy tale multiverse always leads to the strangest (and funnest) relationships (platonic and romantic) of your life.

Relevant lyrics: We're leaving the planet and you can't come

Bonus Rec: Cash Degado is Living the Dream by Tehlor Kay Mejia (adult contemporary)

HOT TO GO!

The Princess and the Grilled Cheese Sandwich by Deya Muniz (graphic novel)

What if I dressed up as a count to inherit my father's fortune and you were a princess and we both liked grilled cheese???

Relevant lyric: I could be the one, or your new addiction/ It's all in my head but I want non-fiction

Bonus Rec: Act Your Age, Eve Brown by Talia Hibbert

My Kink is Karma

Mrs. Martin's Incomparable Adventure by Courtney Milan (adult historical romance)

She said, let's destroy my terrible nephew's life, and how could you say no to such a romantic proposal?

Relevant lyric: Wishing you the best, in the worst way

Bonus Rec: Girl Serpent Thorn by Melissa Bashardoust (YA fantasy)

Picture You

A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall (adult historical romance)

Oops, I faked my death and reinvented myself and you were way more distraught than I thought you would be. . .

Relevant lyric: Do you picture me like I picture you?/Am I in the frame from your point of view?

Kaleidoscope

The Scapegracers by H. A. Clarke (YA urban fantasy)

What if we formed a coven and what if we were all a little in love with each other?

Relevant lyric: And love is a kaleidoscope/How it works we'll never know

Bonus Rec: The Girls I've Been by Tess Sharpe (YA thriller)

Pink Pony Club

The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang (graphic novel)

He was a drag queen, she was a seamstress, can I make it anymore obvious?

Relevant Lyric: And I heard that there's a special place/Where boys and girls can all be queens every single day

Bonus Rec: Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo (YA historical)

Naked in Manhattan

Astrid Parker Doesn't Fail by Ashley Herring Blake (adult romance)

Isn't it romantic, designing a house with someone with your entirely opposite tastes?

Relevant lyric: Boys suck and girls I've never tried

Bonus Rec: Girls Made of Snow and Glass by Melissa Bashardoust (YA fantasy)

California

Honey Girl by Morgan Rogers (adult contemporary)

If a PhD can't save you, maybe a drunken marriage in Vegas can?

Relevant lyric: Cause I was never told that I wasn't gonna get/The things I want the most

Guilty Pleasure

Something to Talk About by Meryl Wilsner (adult romance)

Fake dating your boss? 0/10 recommended. . . right?

Relevant lyric: I want this like a cigarette/Can we drag it out and never quit?

Bonus Rec: That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon by Kimberly Lemming (adult fantasy romance)

Bonus:

Good Luck, Babe

Sorry, Bro by Taleen Voskuni (adult contemporary)

Relevant lyric: You'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling

Ophelia After All by Racquel Marie (YA contemporary)

[feministsouthpark]

Mrs. Tweak - Character analysis (Part 4)

First time I covered her introduction in S2. Second time I covered her appearances from S3 to S5. Last time I covered her role in S6. This time we speedrun through her appearances from S7 to S18. In S7 she joins her town in a protest.

Then we see her again at the Marsh family home.

The husbands become metrosexual and some of the wives think it's great having husbands are starting to be mindful of how they look or smell. Sarah, Sheila, Sharon and Linda all seem happy about the development. Helen stays quiet though.

But later, when all the other wives start to find it annoying how self-obsessed the men have become, Helen starts to state her opinion as well. She then joins the women beating up the crab people who were behind Queer Eye all along.

"I hope something happens soon to put an end to this whole fad." "What the hell did that show do to them?"

I find it very likely that she wasn't happy about Richard's change, not even for a minute, but she kept quiet until the other women realized how wrong they were. Then she told them how it is. After that it seems like she has become just part of the background in townsfolk scenes, like when Stan gets banished.

She's watching her son play baseball, she is running away with the crowd from climate change and she attends town meetings. In I'm glad she is in 201, however only Richard speaks again as he fears that Mecha-Streisand might destroy their coffee shop. Jesus then attacks the kaiju, which only angers it, so Richard and Helen might as well stayed atheists, the Super Best Friends weren't much help.

The truth is - aside from 201 - after season 7, Tweek along with his family disappeared from the show, up until season 17. So basically the family missed out of these 10 years except from crowd scenes. Both Tweek and Helen have their first post-S7 speaking roles in Informative Murder Porn. Richard doesn't appear in this one for a change. The children don't want their parents to watch pornographic horror stories. The group of adults who care most about murder porn are Randy, Gerald, Stephen & Linda, Stuart and Helen. She is the only woman there without a husband, suggesting that her sexual interest is greater than of most women in town.

She is so passionate about this, that she is willing to learn Minecraft with the group, so she can break the code Tweek put on the television.

Stephen: Who do out children think they are?! Blocking our TV content?! Helen: How are they able to do this with their smartphones? She is the first one to give up, not because she isn't as interested, but because she's prone to accept mediocrity in life.

Helen: Oh well, guess we'll just have to live without our informative crime drama.

As a viewer, you know Randy has a midlife crisis, and we learn that Sharon enjoys watching these shows with him, so he has double the motivation. Stephen is bi-curious and needs something extra to help his love life, Linda needs the attention from him. Gerald is hella kinky and Stuart is white trash. All of these character choices make sense. So why put Helen in with this group? There are a few possibilities, mainly that she doesn't feel sexually liberated in everyday life. She still has a lot of spark in her, that she just can't live out, since Richard is kind of moderate person. Richard is safe and doesn't excite her anymore, although based on their backstory I don't think he ever did. She just accepted his approaching most likely because he seemed stable, but she has a way more adventurous spirit, who was always going to get bored next to him. Richard isn't even good in bed - says the subtext. After she breaks the code, we hear two later related lines from the kids: Tweek: I caught my parents over at Bebe's house watching Seductive Homicides. But Bebe got the lock from the cable company!

Craig: I spent three hours last night trying to get Tweek's parents to stop griefing my castle! When I finally got away from them, I found they had taken all my dandelions! Tweek's comment implies she shared the password with Bebe's parents, and Craig's comment indicates that both her and Richard found a new hobby playing Minecraft. Guess it's a testament on how addictions can replace one another. But the most interesting thing about this deal is that this time Richard takes part in Helen's passion unlike the other way around like earlier episodes. Helen shared her interest in murder porn with him and later she shares her newfound Minecraft passion as well. And he goes along.

In The Magic Bush, she is invited to Roger Donovan's Neighborhood Watch meeting, where Laura Tucker snaps at everyone for judging her body hair. I think the key difference between the two characters is that while Helen is capable of forming her opinion and standing up for her morals, she doesn't stand up for herself and her personal needs, but Laura has no problem doing that, and honestly deep down Helen most probably feels some envy of that. That's all I have for today, so for season 19 and beyond, come back tomorrow!

[tulipe-rose]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~¶~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Promise.

Muichirou tokito x f!reader angst.

Tragic, seriously grab some tissues.

Time line -> post Swordsmith village arc

He barged into the estate without a care to his surroundings. His mind was running a mile a minute, and his ears were ringing. His expression was uncharacteristically fixed into one of distress, and desperation as he raced through the hallways, trying multiple doors. He had to get to you.

The moment Ginko came to him with news, he dropped everything to see you, mission report be damned. She told him you were in critical condition due to your latest mission, and that you might not make it. She was at loss on how to relay it to him as gently as possible; she knew it would destroy him, but she eventually decided to be strong for him and delivered the message with her usual confidence. If her voice wavered, Muichirou didn't comment on it (not that he was in any condition to notice).

He tried a few more doors, before stumbling upon a nurse, who told him that she was still in treatment, which took place in the ground floor, first door to the entrance. Not so much as sparing another glance, he bolted towards the stairs, frantically looking for the said description, before spotting the door and sliding it open, only to stare in horror, eyes as wide as his sword's hilt.

There you were, barely breathing, face contorted into a wince of great pain and anguish. You were placed on a stretcher, being attended to by the head of the estate herself, and a variety of helpers. The kakushi were trying to ward him away, as you were quite fragile, and teetering on the thin line of life and death. The head doctor was moving rather quickly, scattering commands and instructions left and right. She was sweating with worry, trying her best to save you. She wouldn't forgive herself if she didn't at least try.

Muichirou made it past the kakushi, kneeling down by your side, clutching your hand gently. He couldn't bear to see you like this, and hated how little he could do. He was on the verge of tears. He trusted the butterfly lady's capabilities, but his heart wouldn't rest.

You looked around, at all these sad expressions, they were all people you loved, and you couldn't bear to see them like that. You felt your end nearing, as much as you hated it, you were aware. You didn't like dying so young, you still had many things to try.... You had so many loved ones that you'd be too pained to leave, but it was too harsh to give them hope.

You slowly reached to Shinobu's trembling fingers, urging her to stop. She gave you a panicked and greatly irritated look, but before she could scold you, Muichirou overtook her, crying, begging, for you to let her continue, he tried to assure you this could be fixed, however before he could continue, you interrupted him, gazing deep into his eyes, tears flooding yours.

'' Please... Let me go... I can feel myself going numb. I'm dying. ''

'' No! Please, listen to me- ''

'' Mui... Stop. I love you... But there's no changing what is... ''

You smile solemnly, recognising his denial, and feeling Shinobu back at work. An idea pops into your hazy mind, and you decide to act on it.

'' How about this, Mui? I'll promise myself... to you as a bride, but in another lifetime... If you let me go in this one... And become the best person you could be... I'll let you take me as yours... ''

Your breathes were getting shorter and more shallow, your essence slowly fading.

'' No. I want you here with me! I don't even know if we'll ever cross paths in some supposed lifetime! ''

He was growing pale and desperate, grip tightening around your hand.

'' But... This... Is my last wish... Please... Promise?... I wouldn't want another... ''

You stick your pinky finger out towards him, before he hesitantly intertwines your fingers, tears falling harder than before.

'' This life is now complete... I hope... for the next... to be better... ''

You smile contently, before turning your gaze to look to your friend and comrade, flashing her one last smile, before all goes numb.

'' Shinobu... Take care of yourself and him for me, will ya? ''

Your finger falls from Muichirou's hold, and sad stillness befalls the room.

😁

[mad-bird-writes]

Introduction and Current WIPs

Hiya! My name is Echo (@tousled-birdmad-girl is my main for those who care about such things) and I'm a writer. I've been writing in some form or another since I was about ten years old, but only recently plucked up the gumption and drive to attempt anything original, much less put it out for the world to see. Time will tell how this goes...

I love horror, tho I wouldn't consider myself a "genre" author, as I think horror, surrealism, fantasy and magic can be found everywhere if you know where to look, and the presence of fantasy elements does not necessarily mean you're writing a "fantasy" book. So, we'll call what I do "fiction" and leave it at that for now :D

Inspiration-wise, I draw from the works of Stephen King, everything Mike Flanagan ever put to Netflix and beyond, Paul Shapera and his ever-growing Shaperaverse, Guillermo Del Toro, Chuck Palahniuk, and the Cthulhu Mythos as a whole (with a particular liking for taking the worlds, entities and themes first created by Lovecraft and using them to create something that'd make him spin in his grave.)

Below the cut: a list of my current WIPs and some general housekeeping information. If you see something that sparks your interest, please come sit by my hearth and pour yourself a drink <3

Original Works:

The Lost Souls' Revival: After a series of personal crises, struggling creative Amari Walker stumbles across a flyer advertising a strange carnival, offering "a total restoration of spirit" for the cryptic asking price of "3Y". With nothing left to lose, she attends, quickly becoming enthralled by the Revival and its colourful cast of performers, in particular its eccentric, nameless ringmaster. When her night of fun and escapism is over, she finds herself wanting more, and embarks on a one-woman quest to follow the ever-moving carnival wherever it goes, a quest that will drive her to the edge of sanity, and possibly beyond the reach of reality itself. (vibes: steampunk, dark carnival, mythology/folklore mishmash, fantasy horror, the Fair Folk, whatever the goblins were selling in Rosetti's Goblin Market)

Better To Reign In Hell: It's 1897. The world is changing too fast. Pastor Nathaniel Lawrence is dying, for all that he's trying to hide it. His daughter, Susannah, too old for rebellion and too young for spinsterhood, is content to follow in her mother's footsteps as the town's herbalist, but a bombshell marriage proposal seems set to destroy those plans. A chance encounter with a badly wounded man may offer her the escape she seeks, but at a price: Merritt Caine is not all he appears to be, and his dark past has an unbreakable grip. (vibes: southern gothic HEAVY on the gothic, small town horror, witchcraft (fictitious and real), Satanism (fictitious and real), corruption but in a good way, religious horror, the cycle of abuse, eventual murder (of the good kind) )

The Order of The Pallid Mask: In the corpse of a city at the centre of a dying world, a benevolent cult is working to restore their world to its fabled former glory by appealing to its retreated god, The King in Yellow. Sariann, the cult's High Priestess, is willing to sacrifice whatever she must to ensure a brighter future for the city's refugees; her body, her soul, her mind. Virgil, a lower-ranking member of the Order, her confidant, attendant and trusted friend, is willing to defy the Order and his faith to keep her alive. And the Yellow King has plans and desires of his own... (vibes: Cosmic horror, Lovecraftian but make it romantic, the beauty of the unknown, rituals, creating a religion from the ashes of an old world, post-apocalypse, ancient civilization (not of Earth), Eldritch love triangle) ***

Fan Works/Other:

As far as fanfics go, I don't have any long-form WIPs on the stove, more like a series of short (well, short-ish) form drabbles, headcanons and other assorted bits, which I might as well post here when I have them as proof that I do have a creative output that extends beyond Spotify playlists and Pinterest boards.

Fandoms include:

Fallout (mainly New Vegas and the Prime series so far, but encompassing this universe as a whole)

Red Dead Redemption (particularly the second game as I haven't played the first one yet, £35 for a port of a PS2 game my *ass*)

the Flanaverse (Hill House, Bly Manor, TFOTHOU, Midnight Mass... basically everything bar The Midnight Club, which I have not watched)

the Cthulhu Mythos (if you can call that a fandom :D I was working on a queer retelling of Dreams in the Witch-House at one point, if I can *find* the notes I wrote I might bring that one out of retirement...)

plus one or two fandoms the content crucibles of which I would not subject myself to if you held me at gunpoint (iykyk)

I've also amassed a small collection of OCs from various TTRPGs I've been part of, a couple of whom still haunt my mind and may or may not be written about from time to time... (no DnD tho, I think it's safe to say we've reached saturation point with DnD-centric/derivative works) ;)

***

General housekeeping + other info: I am an adult and this is an adult writing blog by default. I will be writing smut/other sexual content and dealing with mature and dark themes throughout these listed works (and anything else I may write to post here.) I will tag for "main" triggers and give general content warnings where applicable, but I cannot guarantee to cover every single trigger a person may have, therefore, you read and interact here at your own risk. If requested, I will add more trigger warnings, but again, I can't fully guarantee to get everything.

I kindly ask that you refrain from reposting anything from this blog: excerpts, character profiles, moodboards (if I make them) etc. I also ask that you do not take anything for your personal use under any circumstances.

My inbox is open, so send me an ask if you have any questions or simply want to chat! But for now, I've rambled for quite long enough, so I'm gonna wrap this post here. See you! <3

(tagging @coffeexafterxmidnight and @dominaarts )

[cellarspider]

18/30 Alexa, play Despacito

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And now, we return to Prometheus, which is trying to redeem the last two fifths of itself through blood sacrifice. Content warning for discussion of eyeball nastiness and death by immolation, Holloway.

Taking things slightly out of chronology this time, because there’s an excellent, quiet scene sandwiched in between lots of screaming: I'm sure they meant to put it in juxtaposition with this to heighten the emotion, but I refuse. We'll save that one for later. As a treat for me. And now, as a treat for me, Holloway is dying! Hurray!

So, turns out we’re spinning the wheel of Inconsistent, Ominous Black Goo effects again, and landed on “hangovers aren’t supposed to make your eyes grow tentacles”.

Holloway, apparently in denial, does not recall this fact until he’s gone out with what could generously be called a rescue party, to try and locate Millburn and Fifield. Janek belatedly and unwisely goes along to help, while David appears to go on a pleasant Sunday drive in his golf cart. He’s heading to a better scene, the lucky scamp.

Millburn is very dead–a rubber snake jumps out of his mouth, so you know he’s toast. Fifield’s body is nowhere to be found, and it will make an underwhelming return later.

Holloway collapses, covered in creeping black veins. Shaw finds this distressing. I would be fascinated to know if anybody in the audience agreed with her. I usually would, if only because certain kinds of screaming can kick me into sensory overload, but apparently there’s a psychological component to that response. And so I placidly watched Vickers meet them at the Prometheus vehicle bay with a flamethrower.

I appreciate her belated interest in quarantine and sanitation, but frankly, it’s a little late for that. I already had my rant on that earlier. At this point, things have gotten so bad that even Holloway realizes that the only solution is to go 40k on his ass.

[Video description: A 40k meme clipped from TheRussianBadger’s review of the game Space Hulk: Deathwing: A player says “BROTHER. GET THE FLAMER. THE HEAVY. FLAMER.” Sudden cut to almost incomprehensibly fiery gameplay, with a dramatic choral soundtrack and in-game voice lines “WE ARE THE ANGELS OF DEATH!” “MY FURY IS MADE MANIFEST!”, and ends right before a player yells “I WOULD LIKE TO REGISTER A COMPLAINT” and spins wildly around, spraying flames everywhere.]

Yes, Holloway burns to a crisp! I don’t know what the movie wants me to feel here, but whatever it is, I did not feel it. Did it want me to feel sad about this, because Shaw doesn’t want this to happen? Does it intend to raise the tension by having things spiral further out of control, demonstrating that a drop of the Ominous Black Goo is enough to kill a man in under a day? Am I supposed to take sick satisfaction in watching him die? All these are possible in bog standard horror movies.

However, this is a movie that wants to speak to something thematically. Holloway is positioned as a character we are not necessarily supposed to find sympathetic. As previously mentioned, the Engineers did not invite humanity to this planet. They were warning humans that if they continued to stray in their behavior, they would be killed by something that would come from here. 

Perhaps we are thus supposed to be asking questions about this: why would the Engineers do this? Why create humanity and then threaten to destroy their creations? What was their justification? David has turned this weapon on Holloway, making the choice that at least one man deserves the fate the Engineers planned for all humanity. Does he deserve that? Does anyone?

I was not thinking any of those things in the theater. Because what I actually felt was a desire to return to the scene interwoven with this one, which we will get to next time. This is the danger of creating an unlikeable, expendable character: the audience may feel no pathos when they die, nor question the death’s necessity. If they’re not along for the ride, then they may simply shrug.

Particularly when the rest of the movie is such a mess. This is only their second day on the planet, does anyone else remember that? I mean, I’ve been here for what feels like eternity, but they behaved so stupid, so fast, that this feels less like the inevitable falling apart of dozens of smaller mistakes, and more like one gigantic katamari of mistakes that will not stop rolling until it has collected every mistake in the world, and is thus deemed worthy of becoming a star all on its own, to forever shine out how badly they fucked it all up.

Next time: one of the two good scenes people tend to remember.

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Citations for alt-text rambles:

https://www.swtor.com/ 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSpFnDQr88xCZ80N-X7t0nQ 

https://youtu.be/vy5fgDvb9-c HYEEh-HAA!

Overflow Ramble, because tumblr lets you put in more alt-text than it will actually display in-browser:

A wide shot of Holloway with his arms outstretched, walking toward the vehicle bay ramp. Is this pose supposed to be a crucifixion allusion? I hope not! That would be baffling. Though as these posts have proven, something being baffling doesn’t rule out Prometheus doing it. Shaw is on the ground behind them, restrained by Janek. 

I’m trying to figure out if this was done on a studio stage, or on location. You’d think the latter wouldn’t be possible, but I’ve seen behind the scenes shots of them filming in the volcanic desert of Iceland, they definitely were in places that looked similar. But the background may still be fake after a certain point–outdoor green screens are a thing. 

The lighting on Janek and Shaw doesn’t quite feel right. Part of it’s the shadows: they’re darker on the people than in the background, which is a common problem for CG elements.The visual fidelity of the gravel behind them kind of has a sudden shift about halfway up Shaw’s head, and I’m not sure if that’s just focus or what.

If it is a composite of real and CG, it makes sense that it looks a bit off, though: these are background elements that are not supposed to be your main focus, on a shot that’s not held for too long. There’s always been trade-offs like that in visual effects, they’ve just shifted over the years. Anyway, back to Charlize Theron with a flamethrower.

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[the-faramir]

Extinction Curse Session 2024/11/06

"All right, guys," Midori spoke as she packed away her loot. "We'd better heal up before moving on." She took out her healer's tools and treated everybody's wounds.

Standing up and stretching, Lysander noticed something of interest to the south. "Hey, gang, that looks like a pile of bones over there! I wonder if I can Raise Dead and start that undead army I've always been wanting!" He wandered over to the pile.

Midori shouted, "LYSANDER, NO! IT COULD BE A TRAP!"

She was too late. Lysander had started to inspect the bones and partially decayed corpses, which started pulling themselves together into a cohesive shape. "Oh, fuck," Lysander lamented, "I've just woken a warsworn."

Zookdar screamed out a battle cry. Midori sang a verse to inspire courage:

🎶🎶🎶 Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones We'll destroy them all! 🎶🎶🎶

She threw a Telekinetic Projectile at the foe, but missed. Zookdar ran up to the undead mass to attack, but the warsworn responded by undulating like a wave of water, crashing down and overwhelming the gnome, draining and dooming him. Zookdar's attack missed. Lysander similarly missed the warsworn with his Telekinetic Projectile and missed it again with a shot from his hex blaster. Frustrated skeleton noises emanated from his skull.

The mass of corpses shrieked out a horrible noise, sending out waves of fear over the party. Midori lost her resolve, shouting, "Game over, man! Game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?" The warsworn crushed its mass down on top of the heroes.

Galon fought back with a flurry of blows, breaking off some of the horror's bones. Midori gathered up enough concentration to boost the party with courage:

🎶🎶🎶 Toe bone disconnected from the foot bone Foot bone disconnected from the heel bone Heel bone disconnected from the ankle bone Ankle bone disconnected from the leg bone 🎶🎶🎶

She threw a Telekinetic Projectile at the foe, knocking off an entire decaying corpse. Zookdar moved for a better angle of attack, but missed entirely. Lysander tried to mitigate the adventurers' wounds with a Soothing Ballad.

The warsworn crashed itself on top of the party once more, injuring all of the heroes and draining and dooming Midori as well.

Galon sighed, "There's nothing more we can do here without dying. I suggest we run away!" He ran toward a tunnel in the south of the cavern.

Another warsworn appeared, moving up to the side of the first one.

Midori took one look at the newcomer and hissed to the others, "Oh, FUCK! Nope nope nope!" She ran after Galon.

Zookdar exclaimed, "This is getting out of hand! Now there are two of them!" Lysander and Zookdar retreated after Midori.

Once safely out of the way, Lysander and Midori treated the party's wounds. The heroes carefully skirted around the wall to avoid notice and escape from their enemies through a tunnel in the south wall.

Emerging from their exit tunnel, the adventurers looked around at their new environment: a vast desert of black sand stretching for over a thousand miles. One by one, they looked up to the ceiling, three thousand feet above. A sickly green glow glared down from stones embedded in the dull ceiling rock, sparkling like tiny stars of radioactive death. The heroes' exposed skin began to itch ominously. "I told ya we should've worn sunscreen," Midori stated as she rubbed her nose.

Finding a relatively secure space by the rock wall outside of the tunnel, the party set up camp for the night. Fortunately, the magically replenishing healer's kit they had found in the caverns contained special medications to lessen the effects of the oppressive blightburn crystals in the ceiling. Midori was able to use the kit's contents to mitigate some of the doom effects as well.

After an uneventful night of rest, the heroes gathered their things and pressed on into the desert, marching through the black sands in the general direction of their destination.

A few hours into their trek, the adventurers noticed a shifting in the sands, as if creatures swam right underneath the surface.

"Red alert!" Lysander shouted, "Shields up!" He cast a force cage around the party to ward off a sneak attack. Suddenly, three giant purple worms burst from the black sand and surrounded the party.

Midori shuddered. "Ugh! There's something about these things.... I have a bad feeling about them!"

Lysander attempted to charm the worms with a tune from his bagpipes that sounded suspiciously like The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. His magic spell affected only one of them, however. This charmed beast saw the heroes surrounded by a magical force and reasoned that his new friends had been trapped, and that he must save them himself! Gurgling in its incomprehensible worm language, "Don't worry, buddies! I'll save you," the giant invertebrate pounded at the cage to free Lysander and his comrades.

Midori shrieked, "Great job, Lysander! You angered it with your song!" She shot back a song of her own:

🎶🎶🎶 Nobody likes them, everybody hates them Let's go kill those worms! Big fat scary ones No itsy bitsy ones See them attack and squirm! 🎶🎶🎶

She fired a Telekinetic Projectile at the nearby worm, hitting it. The friendly worm replied, "Why are you hitting me? I just want to be your friend!" However, Midori only heard, "URRRRGGHGHGHGHGH!"

Through the bars of the force cage, Galon shot an Acid Splash, hitting the worm. The acid splashing off of the first worm hit the other two, attracting their attention. They pounded the cage with their bodies as well.

Attempting to handle all of the worms at once, Lysander cast Vampiric Exsanguination. The charmed one managed to avoid the attack, however, and continued to smash at the cage to free his new friends.

Midori sang a verse to inspire courage:

🎶🎶🎶 Take out the first one, down goes the second one Oh, how they wiggle and squirm! Slice up the first one, bloody up the second one Oh, how they wiggle and squirm! 🎶🎶🎶

She shot a Telekinetic Projectile between the cage's bars, but missed the worm completely. Galon cast Acid Splash once more, and Lysander fired his hex blaster. Finally, the force cage gave way and disappeared. The ground shook a bit from increasingly intense tremors.

"All right," Midori shouted at the purple worms, "that cage was the only thing stoppin' us from kickin' your asses outright! Step right up! Come get some!" She sang a verse:

🎶🎶🎶 We slice off their heads and squeeze out their guts And shred their skins away! Nobody knows how experienced we grow On worms three times a day! 🎶🎶🎶

The kitsune flung a Telekinetic Projectile at the nearest worm, hitting it. Without the bars in his way, Galon took the opportunity to unleash a flurry of blows with some well-placed hits. Zookdar unleashed his gnome flickmace for three more hits. The underground tremors increased.

Suddenly, the rumbling under the sands came to a head and an abominable undead creature emerged from below: a giant mass of slithering eyeballs and teeth arranged in patterns no loving god would ever create, known only to locals as "the iffdahsil." It moved swiftly to gobble up the three giant purple worms and turned to face the party. It almost seemed taken aback while regarding the heroes and froze in its tracks.

Even while still, the iffdahsil emanated an aura of necrotic energies combined with blightburn radiation. This Aura of Annihilation took Midori by surprise, draining her strength and dooming her more. "Ugh, I feel so tired an' nauseated! I sure could use a Red Ox an' Malört cocktail to straighten myself out right about now!"

Lysander panicked and played dead, collapsing into a pile of bones. The iffdahsil's aura affected him as well.

Midori stepped away from the fiend slowly, then retreated. She sang:

🎶🎶🎶 Friends, mind your distance It's radioactive, radioactive Don't get too close It's radioactive, radioactive 🎶🎶🎶

The Aura of Annihilation hit her again, draining and dooming her even more. "Gods damn it! Don't know how much more I can take!"

Shaking with determination, Galon shouted, "LEEROY JENKINS!" and ran at the iffdahsil with a flurry of blows, missing it completely. He sighed and muttered to himself, "Oopsie boopsie."

Lysander pulled himself together, threw a Cutting Insult at the abomination (to no effect), and cast Dirge of Doom.

Seeing that the party had not made much headway against the enemy, Midori lamented, "Oh, it's up to me to save us all? We're fucked. Hey, it hasn't ATTACKED attacked us yet. Let's try a different approach." The kitsune ringmaster attempted to make a good impression on the creature to befriend it with an improvised interpretive dance. Her efforts had her convinced that the iffdahsil was now their new best friend. The iffdahsil, however, only blinked in confusion at what it had just witnessed.

Galon and Zookdar coordinated a series of strikes on their foe. "We made a dent!"

Their small victory was short-lived, however, as the iffdahsil's cuts and scratches healed themselves. The undead horror screeched eerily, formed pseudopods from its body, and proceeded to pummel Galon bloody.

[385bookreviews]

1.190.1 Parable of the Sower by Octavia E Butler

SPOILERS

Pages: 329

Time Read: 6 hours and 57 minutes

Overall Rating: 4★ Storyline: 4★ Dialogue: 3.5★ Characters: 3★

Genre: Adult Dystopian

TWs for the book: Violence, death, gun violence, murder, fire, r*pe, child death, death of a parent, slavery, blood, cannibalism, s*xual violence, animal death, grief, drug abuse/addiction, injury, gore, child abuse, racism, physical abuse, trafficking, classism, torture, police brutality, body horror, domestic abuse, adult/minor relationship, war, s*xual content, p*d*ph*l*a, abandonment, kidnapping, misogyny, incest, cursing, mental illness, pregnancy, hate crime, emotional abuse, su*c*de, mass shooting, religion (Baptist Christianity), religious bigotry, colonization, vomit, confinement, chronic illness, excrement, xenophobia, genocide, panic attacks, alcoholism, homophobia, ableism, parentification, mentions of infertility and abortion

POV: First Person

Time Period/Location: California, 2024-2027

First Line: Prodigy is, at its essence, adaptability and persistent, positive obsession.

Lauren Olamina: Lauren is a little bit of flat character, not showing much emotion throughout the book. This doesn't detract from the story though and makes sense in the context that you're reading her diary entries. She definitely comes across older than she is, but also with the same "know it all" attitude of any teenager that age. She felt very real to me. I didn't understand why she had to end up in a relationship with a 39 year age gap though, that was uncomfortable to read about.

Storyline: Blake takes a very dark view of humanity in this book, with abundant r*pe, robbery, murder, torture, drug use, p*d*ph*l*a, and cannibalism. I definitely don't agree that humanity would devolve to this level, however, given the eerie parallels to nowadays, this book definitely makes you sit with the content and wonder if things will actually get that bad, and what we can do to prevent this bleak and horrific future.

Representation: Almost everyone in the story is either Asian, black, or Hispanic. Lauren, Grayson, Doe, Tori, and Emery suffer from hyperempathy syndrome, a disabling delusional disorder.

Summary: This book was a scary read, and (spoiler) Parable of the Talents is even scarier. The parallels of Octavia Blake's dystopian 2024-2027 to our current 2024-2025 is a little too close to home, and really forces you to consider where we are heading, not just as a country but as human beings. I really liked Lauren's religion, Earthseed, and the whole concept of God being Change. I definitely recommend everyone read this, but be mindful of the wanton violence and numerous mentions of adult and child r*pe.

Quotes: -"All that you touch, you Change. All that you Change, Changes you. The only lasting truth is Change. God is Change." (p.3) -"There are over 700 known dead so far. One hurricane… That's nature. Is it God? Most of the dead are the street poor who have nowhere to go… Is it a sin against God to be poor?" (p.15) -"God is Change, and in the end, God prevails. But God exists to be shaped. It isn't enough for us to just survive, limping along, playing business as usual while things get worse and worse. If that's the shape we give to God, then someday we must become too weak--too poor, too hungry, too sick--to defend ourselves. Then we'll be wiped out." (p.76) -"Embrace diversity. Unite--or be divided, robbed, ruled, killed by those who see you as prey. Embrace diversity or be destroyed." (p.196) -"'Your God doesn't care about you at all,' Travis said. 'All the more reason to care about myself and others...'" (p.221) -"The universe is God's self-portrait." (p.315)

July 20, 2024: Lauren Olamina has a dream. In her dream she is trying to teach herself how to levitate in her room, but a fire engulfs her. She is suddenly then transported to her yard when she was seven years old, taking down laundry from the clothesline with her stepmother. She tells Lauren that when she was young, you couldn't see nearly as many stars from all the light pollution, but now cities like that don't exist as much anymore. July 21, 2024: Today is Lauren's 15th birthday. She doesn't believe in God anymore, but her father is a preacher, so her and her brothers agree to be baptized. While he usually held church in the living room of their house for their small, walled in neighborhood, he arranged for them to go outside the walls to the only church left standing for the occasion. They ride bikes, armed with guns, passing tons of street poor people, starving, dirty, and drug addicted. It hurts Lauren to see injured people, as she has a delusional disorder called hyperempathy syndrome. This allows her to feel others' pain and pleasure just as much as they do. When they arrive at the church, built like a fortress, Lauren, her brothers, and some other kids from the neighborhood are baptized. July 30, 2024: An astronaut on Mars, part of a crew trying to create a colony there, dies. The price of water goes up again, costing more than gasoline. The last TV in the neighborhood at the Yannis house finally dies. August 3, 2024: Lauren and her father discuss space. She thinks it's worthwhile to try and find new life and travel to new planets, while her father views it as a waste. Lauren laments the fact that the astronauts last wish, to be buried on Mars, won't be honored. August 12, 2024: One of their neighbors, a very judgmental and religious woman, Mrs. Sims, shot herself. Thieves had come over the wall awhile before her death and had stolen all her valuable belongings and food, and also r*ped her. The community had rallied to take care of her, but not long after, her son, daughter-in-law, grandkids, brother, nieces, and nephews all died in a house fire. Lauren wonders how someone who had based her entire life off of a religion that claimed you would go to hell if you killed yourself could do such a thing. August 17, 2024: Lauren can't get over the deaths of Mrs. Sims or the astronaut. She tells about the religion she has created, with the core tenet of "God is Change". Rather than God being a conscious being imposing his will upon humanity, she believes that the only constant in the universe is Change, so that must be God, and all humans must shape God for themselves. November 6, 2024: A new president is to be elected. He plans to stop the government space program, allowing it to be sold off to private companies. He also plans to repeal minimum wage, environmental protections, and worker protections.

February 1, 2025: Three year old Amy Dunn started a fire in the Dunn's garage. Everyone came running to put it out, as no one can afford the fire department fees. Lauren feels bad for Amy. Her mother was impregnated by her uncle at 13, and her nor anyone else in the family pays any attention to her. Lauren tries her best to look after her since no one else will. Cory, Lauren's stepmother, teaches the neighborhood children as an alternative to school, and Lauren asks if she can start early, since Lauren is in charge of the kindergarten age children anyways. February 19, 2025: Mrs. Sims cousins, Wardell Parish and Rosalee Payne inherit her house. They aren't pleasant people and accuse people in the neighborhood of ransacking Mrs. Sims house after she died. Lauren's father explains that she was robbed not long before her death. February 22, 2025: Lauren's father and her best friend Joanne's father take some of the younger people in the neighborhood out to practice shooting in the hills nearby, including Lauren, Joanne, Joanne's cousin and boyfriend Harry, Lauren's boyfriend Curtis, Curtis' brother Michael, Aura Moss, and Peter Moss. The Moss children's father has three wives, and created his own religion, running a mini cult in his own house. After doing some shooting, they notice a dog watching them. Joanne is startled and aims her gun, and it runs away. Aura sees the same dog, but screams and panic fires her gun at it. When Lauren's father goes to investigate, he doesn't find a dog, but the corpses of a woman and her two children, partially eaten. As they begin the return journey home, Lauren's father shoots a dog that gets too close. It doesn't die, and Lauren is put in pain by seeing the injured dog, so she shoots it dead. March 2, 2025: It rains for the first time in six years. March 4, 2025: Amy Dunn dies. Lauren had just walked her home from school that day, sharing an orange with her in the rain. She went out wandering at night and was hit by a stray bullet through the neighborhood gate. March 5, 2025: Lauren and Joanne talk about Amy's death, and Lauren tries to tell Amy that she believes things will only get worse. She worries that a hoard of the street poor will eventually get fed up and overrun the neighborhood and they'll have to survive on the outside. She tries to encourage Joanne to be prepared, saying the neighborhood in general needs to be more prepared, and gives her a book about plant life. March 6, 2025: The rain stops. Lauren wonders how many more years it will be till they see rain again. March 8, 2025: Lauren gets in trouble with her father for scaring Joanne. Joanne told her mother, her mother told her father, and then her father told Lauren's. Joanne made it sound like Lauren was trying to convince her to run away, but Lauren explains to her dad everything she actually said. He tries to make her promise not to talk about any of that again, but she refuses, wanting to know why they shouldn't be prepared. He agrees that they should, but doesn't want her scaring people. He tells her to start teaching her kindergarteners about plants, go and learn martial arts from someone, and that he will bring up her idea about emergency packs at the next meeting, March 9, 2025: Joanne apologizes to Lauren after church, saying she didn't mean to get her in trouble. Lauren forgives her and they remain friends, but Lauren loses some trust in her. March 12, 2025: Thieves break into the neighborhood and steal food from their gardens. Lauren's dad sets up a neighborhood watch system to have people patrolling at night. Him and Cory argue over this, as she doesn't want him to get hurt out on patrols. March 29, 2025: The thieves returned to steal some of Richard Moss' rabbits, but they were scared off by two of the people out on patrol when they fired their guns. Cory and Lauren's dad argue again.

April 26, 2025: Lauren decides to call her religion Earthseed. June 7, 2025: Lauren assembles a survival pack for herself. Her father won't let her have a gun though. She asks him if he ever thinks about going north and he says no, since all of the states have armed and guarded borders, and tons of people everyday are also flooding north for the same opportunities. June 19, 2025: Tracy Dunn disappears. June 20, 2025: Lauren turns 16. She writes in her journal that "The Destiny of Earthseed is to take root among the stars". July 26, 2025: Tracy hasn't been found. Another girl in the neighborhood, Bianca, is pregnant. August 2, 2025: The group goes out for target practice again. They find a mangled corpse this time, and Aura Moss decides she's done going shooting. Lauren's 12 year old brother Keith had begged to go with them, but was denied because he wasn't 15. While they were out, Keith ran away from the neighborhood. He took Cory's key to the gate with him. Lauren's dad is about to go out and look for him when they find him bloody and beat on the kitchen floor, having been robbed and the key also stolen from him. August 3, 2025: Keith is forced to confess his wrongdoing to the congregation that Sunday. August 17, 2025: Their parents bought Keith a new BB gun for his birthday to try and appease him and keep him in the neighborhood. This fails, as he leaves again, taking the gun with him. August 28, 2025: After days of searching and Cory being distraught, Keith comes home. He has clean new clothes this time, and his BB gun but their father destroys it before beating Keith up. October 25, 2025: Keith leaves again, this time taking Cory's gun. November 3, 2025: Keith returns with a wad of cash for Cory and chocolate for Gregory and Bennett while their father is out of the house. Then he leaves again, saying he's making a ton of money.

June 25, 2026: Keith comes home again. He actually sits and talks with Lauren while she makes him dinner. He tells her that he has a room with some guys who have a lot of stolen technology, but because he can read and write and they can't, he helps them to use it or sell it. He also reveals that he killed and robbed a man early on when he set out. July 20, 2026: On her way home from Curtis' house, on her 17th birthday, Keith finds her and gives her a wad of cash as a birthday present. Lauren says she'll give it to Cory. August 26, 2026: Lauren's parents go downtown to identify Keith's body. August 29, 2026: Keith's skin was peeled off and his eyes were burned out of his, showing signs of having been tortured for days. Lauren doesn't cry for him at all, saying he was sociopathic and he probably would have gotten worse as he aged. October 17, 2026: Another robbery occurred, this time into someone's house, which resulted in the Quintanilla's grandmother being killed. This marks the 7th break in since Keith died. October 20, 2026: A company called KSF buys a town called Olivar and turns it into a company town with armed guards, where all of the citizens are employees, not paid much but given housing and food. Cory wants to move there, but Lauren's dad says it's just modern day slavery and refuses to consider it. October 24, 2026: Joanne's family applies to move to Olivar. Lauren realizes the big invasion of people she thought was going to destroy the community is actually gonna be a slow dismantling as people try to find better lives. October 31, 2026: Lauren decides to go north to find a better life once she turns 18. November 14, 2026: The Garfield family is accepted to move to Olivar. Joanne's boyfriend/cousin Harry won't go with her. November 17, 2026: Lauren's father doesn't return from his job at the college that morning. November 18, 2026: Lauren and a few others go into the canyons where they usually practice shooting to search for her dad, dead or alive. They find a dismembered arm that could belong to her dad, but they aren't sure. November 22, 2026: Lauren's father is still missing. The fingerprints they took from the arm weren't his. December 19, 2026: The neighborhood holds a funeral for Lauren's father, even though they still don't know what happened to him. December 22, 2026: The Garfield family moves away to Olivar. They are collected in an armored truck with armored guards, employed by KSF. Cory talks to the guards about what it's like to live there, seriously considering the move now that Lauren's father is gone. Lauren meets with Curtis afterwards to have s*x. He wants to marry her, and she hesitates because he doesn't know about her hyperempathy syndrome yet, or Earthseed. He wants to leave and go north, and Lauren tells him they will after her family is settled into not having their father around. December 24, 2026: The night before someone set fire to the Payne-Parrish house. Wardell Parrish was the only survivor, his twin sister and her five children burning to death with the house. They suspect it was someone who took the drug Pyro, a pill that makes you need to watch things burn. While the neighborhood rushed to help Wardell and try to put out the fire, several houses were robbed, including Lauren's. December 29, 2026: Cory takes over Lauren's father's job at the college to make ends meet. Lauren begins to run the school in her absence. December 30, 2026: Wardell Parrish goes to live with family.

July 31, 2027: Bald people covered in paint and addicted to Pyro crash through the gate of the neighborhood and burn the place down, indiscriminately killing, r*ping, and looting. Lauren manages to escape. Lauren loses track of Cory and her brothers. Thankfully she has a gun and her emergency pack, and spends the night in a broken down shed. Lauren goes back to the neighborhood once it's daylight. No police or firefighters have come. She picks through the remains of her burned down house and salvages what she can, including money that was buried in the backyard. Richard Moss was killed, along with Harry's grandfather and little cousin, who had also been r*ped. She sees Curtis' brother's body, but not Curtis, and a handful of other people she had known her whole life, dead. She leaves the neighborhood, and manages to run into Harry, Joanne's ex-boyfriend, and Zahra, Richard Moss' youngest wife. Her daughter had been killed, and she claims to have seen Cory and Lauren's brothers killed as well. Zahra had been caught and someone tried to r*pe her before Harry saved her, which resulted in a concussion for him. Lauren takes them back to her shed to let Harry rest and so they can eat and decide what to do. August 1, 2027: Harry is on the mend, and Zahra reveals she was one of the street poor until she was 15 and her mother sold her to Richard Moss. The three of them agree to go north together as a group. August 2, 2027: Harry and Zahra gather supplies, and then begin their trek on foot up the 118 freeway. Only the right lane is free to traffic, the rest of the inner lanes being taken up by vendors and travelers. They eventually go off the highway and set up camp in a hill away from everyone. Lauren has cut her hair and is travelling as a man, since she is tall enough. People tried to join them at their fire, but they shooed or scared them all away. Harry is upset about this, but Zahra and Lauren insist that they can't trust anyone. Lauren takes the first watch and begins writing in her journal, and Zahra asks her to teach her to read and write. After her watch, Harry wakes up to replace her. Lauren wakes up a bit later to Harry being attacked. One man was already dead. She smashes the attacker over the head with a rock, which in turn disables her for a moment. When she realizes that the guy is still alive, she grabs a knife and slits his throat. They strip the bodies of clothes and possessions and drag the bodies down to some trees. She decides to tell them about her hyperempathy syndrome and gives them the choice to leave or stick with her. They both decide to stay, although Harry is wary of her after she so easily killed a man. She also opens up and shares verses from Earthseed with them. August 3, 2027: A large forest fire starts, and the group stays aware of it as they travel, worrying that it will jump the freeway. They find a spot to rest, but then eventually move when Harry finds a better one. Zahra and Harry have s*x that night, which wakes Lauren, and she scolds them for not keeping watch. August 4, 2027: The group stops at a commercial water station to fill up. Someone steals water from a woman with a baby, and Lauren trips him. She gives the water back to the woman and her husband. The couple stays near them on the road and camps near them as well. August 5, 2027: They come near the ocean and decide to camp down by the beach so they can bathe in the water. Lauren invites the family to come camp with them, but they don't accept, suspicious of the offer. That night, dogs came and tried to steal the family's baby, and Lauren goes over and shoots the dog. August 6, 2027: After making camp that night, the family finally decides to join their group, father Travis, mother Natividad, and baby Dominic. Travis and Natividad used to be servants for a rich man and his wife. They are heading up to Seattle, and agree to travel with Harry, Lauren, and Zahra. Lauren shares some Earthseed verses with them.

August 8, 2027: The group continues their journey by travelling up the beach. Lauren gradually converts the group to Earthseed, starting with Travis, who is immensely curious about it. August 27, 2027: An earthquake hit during their walk on the highway. Someone starts a fire in a town, and all the walkers begin to flock towards it to scavenge and burn and loot. The group continues on, coming across an older man pushing a cart. He walks along with them, wanting to get ahead of the desperate people looting and burning the town. Him and Lauren immediately connect over their Yoruba last names. As they walk, they hear screaming, and see a run down old house collapsed in on itself during the earthquake. Two women are trapped beneath, and the group works together to get them out. As they walk back to the highway, they are attacked. Lauren stabs her attacker, and three others are killed by Harry. They strip the dead men and Lauren changes clothes, and they continue on. Allie and Jill are the two women who they saved. Allie is aggressive, asking if they're a cult, but ultimately they agree to travel with them. Bankole, the older man, also agrees to travel with them. They stop at a store in a town they come across, and Bankole convinces them to invest in a rifle for hunting and long range shooting. August 28, 2027: The group has to change course due to riots and unrest in San Francisco, so they decide to go on I-5. August 29, 2027: That night they are all awoken by a gun fight on I-5 near their campsite. They all stay down till the shooting stops, and Lauren goes to find Bankole, who has disappeared. She finds him on his way back to camp with an orphaned three year old boy named Justin. They get him to settle down, and they all try to go back to sleep, Lauren kissing Bankole before they laid back down. Justin becomes attached to Allie, and she eventually takes charge of him on the road. Jill tells Lauren that they were s*x slaves, pimped out by their own father. Allie used to have a baby, but their father killed him in a drunken rage. They ran away, and burned his house down on the way out. August 30, 2027: The group makes it to the San Luis Reservoir. A lot of people are camped there but they find a place that's out of the way. Lauren and Bankole go off to talk. They debate about Earthseed some, and he tells her his wife died from robbers beating her five years ago. She manages to guess that he is a doctor. They have s*x, and she tells him she's 18 afterwards and he's appalled given that he's 57, but he admits he doesn't want to let her go. September 9, 2027: The group has continued their journey along I-5. During their walks, they saw a dog wandering with a child's arm in its mouth, and a group of children, one of them a pregnant girl, roasting someone's leg over a fire. Bankole reveals that he was travelling to get to some land that he owns where his sister and her family live. He tries to convince Lauren to marry him and leave the group, but she refuses, saying she'll only come with him if he agrees to take the whole group in. He relents, and before she agrees to marry him, she also tells him about her hyperempathy syndrome. He is surprised she managed to conceal it, and says he still wants to marry her. September 10, 2027: Two people, a woman and her daughter, snuck into camp last night and laid down on the ground and slept near them. When Lauren awoke and confronted them, they immediately curled up on the ground and said they would leave. Lauren offered to feed them, and the group convened about whether they should stay. They ultimately decide to keep them and move on. Lauren scolds Jill for not paying enough attention on watch. The mother's name is Emery, and her daughter is Tori. They were essentially slaves to a company and they were on the run, having escaped after Emery's two sons were sold away.

September 12, 2027: Tori attracted another little girl, Doe, on the road, and Doe's father Grayson. He very obviously doesn't want to travel with them, but he also doesn't want to separate Doe from her new friend, and he seems to connect with Emery. Lauren guesses that him and Doe are also former slaves. September 17, 2027: Tori and Doe go off with Emery to go to the bathroom. The group suddenly hears screaming, and Lauren and some of the others run over to see a big bald man trying to snatch Tori away from Emery. Emery is fighting back, and when he finally manages to shake her off Lauren shoots him. They get in a gun fight with the rest of the man's gang. Grayson grabs Doe and runs off. Lauren is skimmed by a bullet, and Jill is shot and killed while trying to shield Tori. When Lauren comes to from her wound and the pain of dying with those around her, she realizes that Emery, Tori, Grayson, and Doe all have hyperempathy as well, sharers as Lauren calls them. They move on, and Grayson agrees to stay with and protect the group. Allie is distraught over her sister's death, and Lauren comforts her. The group is overwhelmed by the smoke from a massive forest fire, but they manage to outrun it without any injuries. September 26, 2027: The group finally arrives at Bankole's land, only to find that the house has been burned down with his sister and her family inside. October 1, 2027: Bankole goes to the police to try to find out what happened to his sister, but all they do is harass him and steal his money. There's a well with fresh water, and the group ultimately decides to stay and build an Earthseed community.

[abomination-catboy]

FINAL FANTASY XIV: STORMBLOOD The Abomination Review, Part 1

Okay, so here's something entirely unnecessary; a review of an MMORPG expansion that came out six years ago. Hooray!

A little bit of background; I've been slowly making my way through the FFXIV expansions, in fact very VERY slowly because my attention is being pulled in 20 different directions at any given time and this game is so very, very long. I share a Discord server with some good friends and there's a section for all things FFXIV, and opinions on Stormblood are probably some of the most divisive I have encountered so far. One friend, who we'll refer to as J, really didn't fancy it at all, whereas another friend, S, enjoyed it and thought it would be, I quote 'exactly your kind of bullshit'.

So now that I've finished Stormblood and have started engaging in horrors such as 'cartoon chocobo drags party to Computer Hell Fightclub' and 'a raid with FREAKIN' MATH in it' everyone wants to know what I thought of Stormblood. So naturally, I did the normal person thing and created a blog to write the review up on in detail. LET'S GO~

It's been ages since I actually started Stormblood, so some of my recollections will likely be off. Hopefully this will just add humour, as I don't really mind myself and will not be making corrective edits :^)

I am not American, so neither is my spelling.

Spoilers for FFXIV ARR, HW and SB and related patch content, obviously.

Introduction: Welcome to Ala Mhigo

After briefly being reminded of the overarching plot of the whole game and following the trauma of watching Papalymo explode, we're thrown into another 40-hour long sidequest as Omega Weapon ker-chunks over the wall into Ala Mhigo and Lyse-Not-Yda-in-Fact suggests this is the perfect opportunity to help her people fight back against the Garlean Empire and end the war. Cool. Cool cool cool.

This is your Warrior of Light for the trip, Yhen'a Astolya. Both he and his sparrowhawk are a little unimpressed that 'get the Weapon' has turned into 'save entire nation from a 10+ year imperial occupation', but at this point that's just #WarriorofLightThings so he's resigned to his fate. At least he's cute. None of his outfits suit his personality because the character I re-made him from liked to show off his assets if you catch my drift and I'm yet to change many of the glams but. You'll see.

So anyway, Gyr Abania. What a shithole. NO REALLY SSHH The fist map is really kinda boring, and I get why; it's hard to make a desert map too interesting while still retaining the classification of desert. And here we have a whole nation that is in mostly desert. For what it's worth I think Square did a great job with their concept, but I can't help but wonder what Garlemald saw in taking this land over. I know, I know, they think they're doing us all a favour by bringing enlightenment to the savage heathens, blablabla, like any ol' antagonistic empire. Sure. But usually that's a leading reason with other factors, you know, and things like resources and land position are taken into account. I guess it's a great and easy way to send invasion forces through to the rest of Eorzea, but what else was there?

See, other people on google wanted to know too!

The internet didn't tell me, it just kept trying to give me timelines and essays, but I'm sure I missed the answer in a section of dialogue I skipped or something.

UPDATE: I said I wouldn't do these but to avoid Experts coming in to school me, another friend of mine we'll call A has said the Garleans went through Gyr Abania cause it was the only way to get to Eorzea. And their aerial invasion failed pre 1.0, which is not content I've played. They don't have a navy, b/c they're landlocked, but they made this amazing big 'unsinkable' airship that was supposed to be able to single-handedly conquer the whole world, then Midgardsormr (or as A refers to him, Dragon Daddy) said no, and destroyed it.

Anyway.

So Lyse leads us to Rhalgr's Reach after a pretty harrowing side-quest concerning an abandoned town that was used by the Garleans to experiment with some kind of magical plant plague, which was honestly kind of interesting. The Garleans suck, man.

Rhalgr's Reach is gorgeous, a nice breathe from the drab map between Baelsar's Wall and it, but first a note on the music so far.

I enjoy the new battle music well enough; it's a mix between cowboy movie rifts and traditional eastern music that somehow really works, and also makes me feel a bit like Indiana Jones, but I'm not a fan of the national anthem of Ala Mhigo following me everywhere in different forms on the map. It's okay if it's a quiet refrain version, but when the bombastic brass comes into it, it just turns me off the flavour of the game entirely. I don't think this was intentional, its just a very nationalistic approach, which is all well and good for a story about a resistance who are clearly very patriotic trying to fight off invaders and its absolutely being used in good faith, but any band of patriotism is always a bit much for me so I played a lot of this expansion in Ala Mhihgo areas with the music turned down.

So we're trying to form an alliance, and getting resistance from the usual suspects. We get re-introduced to Arenvald around this time too, who is one of my favourite tropes of 'strong man softboi' so I take to him instantly. There's a few little battles and skirmishes, and Lyse is feeling pretty g about our ragtag little Alliance before things, as they do, go pear-shaped.

Enter Imperial Viceroy Zenos yae Galvus, otherwise known as 'golf douche'.

I cannot take credit for this amazing and hilariously accurate nickname. That would go to J. Leading up to this moment they were all 'have you met him yet, have you met golf-douche?' which honestly gave him an air of mystery he entirely did not deserve.

(seriously, I'm a cat-dad and Zenos has maybe two facial expressions, this one being his 'head empty no thoughts (but murder)' one, but the fangirls think he has a rich inner world. Nobody who owns a cat sees this face and thinks that.)

People seem to love Zenos online, and I can only assume it's because he's both pretty and disturbed; that Discount-Sephiroth face and hair, with hips and thighs so thick he probably cracks Ala Mhigan skulls between them, plus he waxes poetical about murder. You know, all the things the straight whyte girls who write yaoi love in a top.

Anyway, he's a bit of a fuckwit, and he has a fuckwit golf-caddy that he carries his extra swords in (sword-caddy?) thus the nickname, so it was a little embarrassing getting absolutely reamed by him. I was on Dark Knight too, so like, let's be real Squeenix, I would have won on sheer endurance AND edge if it hadn't been one of your fun 'you can't win this battle but have it anyway for dramatic storytelling purposes' moments that we all k̙n̘̝̻o͖̙̺̣w̷̫̞̤ ̮̙̤̝a̡̤̠ͅn͓̲̩̱͕d̷ ̦ͅͅl̶̺̪̟͚̼̣̞o̶͖̪v̘̜͎ͅè̥̮͎̘.

Our party decides that because golf-douche almost murderised all of us in one fell swoop and Lyse is still feeling pretty sensitive about the whole Papalymo thing, the best option is to travel to an entirely different and very far away nation, and help them defeat the Garlean occupation there so that a) the Garlean's and hopefully golf-douche will be distracted fighting a war on two fronts, and b) the other nation will then feel indebted to us and obligated (or strong-armed? They never quite clarify) to come help fight the Garleans in Ala Mhigo.

I am instantly a bit uncomfortable about this. It's presented both in a way that makes it seem like we're trying to do good by two nations rather than just one, but also very coldly as if we're playing war to suite our own overarching agenda, which will then force these people who have been terrorised and occupied for over a decade, to come fight another war they have less (if no) stake in.

I suppose 'the fate of the entire world and the Crystal Mother Lady' is a pretty good excuse when it comes down to it, but there's still a vibe of 'end justifies the means, and because our quest is an honorable one we'll make these tough decisions for people' vibe that just doesn't sit too right with me. These nations being freed from Garlean rule isn't the goal here, it's just a favourable side-effect of our actual plan. This feeling does lessen a little later when it's made more obvious that the whole team is very invested in helping out Ala Mhigo and Doma and it's more that we have to prove to the Alliance that it's a worth-while investment in a colder way. But towards the start, yea, felt weird.

Oh, and we met the Angy One! She's a great character, one of my fav antagonists in the expansion actually. But you don't know that yet at this point of the game, she's just a nation-traitor everyone hates, and for good reason. Actually, nobody really likes her, not even on her team, but she keeps going on ahead anyway.

Gaslight gatekeep girlboss~

I do also feel like we're leaving Ala Mhigo way too soon, before I really had a chance to become invested in it, you don't even get to finish the first map (The Fringes) and this isn't helped by the Doman leg of the game being by far more visually interesting and narratively compelling, but we'll get to that next time, in part two.

So far, a little underwhelming. Pros:

Learning more about Lyse's character, actually quite like getting to know her.

The battle music

Rhalgr's Reach design is pretty stunning

Good location names

The Hidden truth > Drawing a Blank questline

And a bit of a longer list, Cons:

The 'national anthem-esque' music

The Fringes is a boring map in visual and mechanics design

The story is slow to move

Golf-douche archetype is two-dimensional and ugh

Are we playing games with entire nations just to get to our shiney Omega Boi

Barely in Gyr Abania before being whisked away to a far more interesting area and narrative, as if the game devs didn't believe in it either.

Where the fuck are my aether currents let me fly you asshats

Entirely not ghey enough

I'll give this first length of the game a 2½/5. Until next time folks, unless the hyperfocus whisks me off forever.

[goodnight-moonmoon]

The way the humans tilted their head didn't go unnoticed by the void bot, who was shrinking at the attention on him. Any of his excited movements go rather still. Fear was something uncommon for him—it wasn't something that registered often for him. But here? With how they chuckled lowly, with how they stared? The jester was rather rigid as he stayed close to Ben.

Once Ben reached his hand out, Moonmoon took it quickly. Just. Scared. He hated feeling like some scared child but, at the same time, he also recognized that he was beginning to shut down. Just. Not saying anything. Something not unlike shock.

The way they whispered. He didn't mind the whispers so much. But they acted looked like mannequins in a way? Despite being rather doll-like himself, Moonmoon was tense. His eyes appeared in his panicked state, glazed over with fear, and he was practically clinging to Ben's hand and side like a lifeline. He felt rather... powerless, here. In the void, in another world��anywhere else, really—he could do so much more. But here? He was afraid of the mannequin-like humans, in such a visceral way that unsettled him to his core. He couldn't do anything here.

His white pupils flicked up to Ben, just listening to him rumble. His voice was a comfort here, something that he appreciated while he failed to say anything. As much as Moonmoon was getting used to this universe, the humans are far too much like mannequins for him to calm. His eyes trailed away just to stare, and something in his chest and stomach tightened. Just that knot of horror as he tried not to panic and distract on their way home.

And the way one of the "humans" launched caused him to flinch.

Despite his ever-growing anxiety, the sudden knife's glint and the hand dropping to the ground doesn't scare the jester. He was staying close, but the sudden sight of blood got him. Well, less scared. They were human. He didn't forget about that. They could bleed.

They could bleed.

Moonmoon watched how easily Ben killed the human. Mannequin. It was hard to tell, the two concepts seemed too have such a thin line here that blurred. He shuddered, only with how the other flesh beings seemed so... excited to see Ben. Sure, the jester was excited too, but something about their excitement was dangerous. Of course, Ben knew that—he lived here, after all—but that feeling twisted inside of him once more.

He didn't say comment on the murder, just clinging onto Ben's hand. Honestly, he was rather grateful for it. The sun protected him, and. They should really get going, huh. He moved to pick up Ben's brown bag at the very least, and, if Ben was close enough, small, shaky exhales were heard from Moonmoon. He was genuinely on edge, and. It had been a while, that he had been so affected by. Well. Anything.

"Do you think we'll be able to carry back the body?" the smaller bot asked, holding the brown bag like it was something precious. He hoped that none of its contents were destroyed when Ben dropped it. His eyes were just looking back up at the sun again, his voice small. It was lot more monotone and blank than it was before, his stuttering becoming a lot less present. "Or should we just go?"

Moonmoon never left the void for one simple reason: he was scared.

Well, fuck him in particular, because he just so happened to have a high that made him feel so? Giddy? Despite being tired. He had taken a random spin of worlds that interested him, and, soon enough, the void had tore itself open and created a rift into a different universe.

Which led to now, as the jester skipped out of it, jingling, into a dark alleyway. He really hadn't thought this through, had he? The bells gave him away as he found himself in the shadows of tall buildings.

And. He uh, happened to be pushed out of his void tear near a... daycare attendant model?

He couldn't tell what was happening, really.

So, he did what any only-somewhat-self-preserving bot that liked these particular models would do: he went towards the daycare attendant animatronic, at least making out the shape of rays in his silhouette. Huh, how fun!

@goodnight-moonmoon

Ben didn't expect visitors. All he expected was finishing the dissection of this strange specimen and heading home. The soft jingle of bells made him pause, hands covered in blood and viscera. His head turned slowly, 180 degrees, and he fixed his lamplight-yellow eyes on the stranger. The stranger with no face. How interesting. He wondered what their insides looked like. All he did, though, was stare.

[sabyfangirl]

A Hurt Wing

The Kratt brothers were flying around in their peregrine falcon suits, until they stumbled on Zach who was up to no good...

On a sunny day in a beautiful forest in North America, two bird-like forms - green and blue - were soaring through the sky.

"Peregrine falcon powers are the way to go, bro!" Chris cheered as he dove into another cloud, Martin flying behind him.

"Yeah, it sure is fun to be able to fly around in this suit, we should do it more often," he laughed as he flew past his brother, triggering his competitiveness, alleviated by sudden remembrance.

"I'm with you on that one, but we're supposed to be looking for a clearing for the Tortuga to land, remember? So no more goofing around," Chris said as he flew by his side, giving him a serious look.

"Okay, you're right," Martin rolled his eyes as he bumped into him playfully. "Doesn't mean we don't get to see who finds a clearing first!"

Sensing his brother's enthusiasm, carrying a gleam of eagerness in his eyes, the green Kratt couldn't help but participate in the activity. "It's on bro!"

Just like the suits were designed for, the brothers were given the ability to mimic the peregrine falcon's ability to fly rapidly and change direction very quickly, in addition to its strength, powerful eyesight and sharp beak, rendering it the fastest bird in the world. With this creature power at hand, covering more ground was far easier than one could imagine.

The Kratt brothers raced each other, showing off a few tricks and moves here and there, yet their competitive nature never stood in the way of them having fun as siblings.

"Woohoo!" Chris let out as he zig-zagged his way between some clouds.

"Nice one bro!" Martin flew up to him and gave him a high wing.

Suddenly, a loud sizzling noise pierced the area, interrupting their little game. "Chris, what was that?!"

The brothers in the falcon suits looked down to find...LASER BEAMS shooting from all directions, much to their horror. Then their eyes caught a familiar figure.

"Zach!" Chris and Martin looked at each other, eyes wide from panic. From their point of vew, they could see a few trees that had already been taken care of, making them sick to their stomachs. They simply couldn't bear the idea, and even less the sight of any form of life being threatened. Parting from that principle, the sight of Zach destroying those trees in such a cruel and inhuman way truly aggravated them.

"Tortuga, come in," Martin suddenly called the team.

Aviva showed up on his screen. "Yeah MK, did you guys find a clearing yet?" she asked with a casual smile.

"No! Get this, we stumbled on Zach and you won't believe what he's doing." At that, the expression on Aviva's face shifted, Koki tilting her head behind her. "Let me guess, capturing another animal?" Aviva scoffed.

"Even worse, he's chopping trees down to get to the animals!" Martin exclaimed. "With laser beams!" Chris added, flapping his wings hurriedly.

Aviva and Koki exchanged panicked looks. "We'll be there as soon as we can, until then keep him distracted," Koki finally said, rushing off to the pilot room. Then the call ended.

The brothers looked down to scan the scene; Zach was standing on his floating platform, arms behind his back with one hand in the other, shoulders relaxed, seeming very content, a mischievous smile on his face. His Zachbots were following his commands by using laser beams to take down the trees, one by one, they all came crashing down. If the brothers weren't in their falcon suits and flying a hundred feet in the air, they would've clenched their fists from anger.

Their eyes met. They nodded.

"Hurry it up, Zachbots! The sooner you exterminate all those pasky trees, the sooner I'll get my hands on all the varmints in them," Zach laughed, rubbing his hands diabolically.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, something green swooped past his face and missed it by an inch, followed by a blue one dashing behind his back. Zach shrieked and nearly fell out of his platform. "What was that?" He looked up to find two human-sized birds flying down on him. "Wild Ratts?!"

"It's Wild Kratts, and just what do you think you're doing?" Chris gave him a menacing look.

"Don't you know a lot of creatures depend on these trees for survival?" Martin added, his tone calmer than his brother's.

"In fact I do, which's precisely why I'm taking them down!" Zach said proudly, irritating the brothers.

"Alright Zach, we can either settle this the easy way or the hard way," Martin said, his eyes were uncharacteristically deep and serious.

However, Zach seemed completely unaffected. "Do you really think that a pair of flying pigeons will stop me?" he mocked. Just then, another tree came falling down, startling the brothers.

"Sorry Zach, but you leave us no choice," Chris shot Zach a death glare, then swooped down on one of the Zachbots before snatching it from the ground and ripping it to pieces thanks to his sharp talents.

"Hey!" Zach let out, vexed but not surprised.

Martin, in turn, joined his brother and started eliminating a decent amount of Zachbots, much to Zach's displeasure. "No, no, no, don't just stand there you useless machines, stop them!"

Automatically, the Zachbots changed their aim from the trees to-

"Martin, look out!" Chris pushed his brother out of the way just as a laser beam was about to pierce through him.

Soon, laser beams were streaking randomly all over the place, the brothers flying around and dodging each and every single one of them. One of the laser beams bounced off a rock and ended up hitting Zach's platform, almost knocking him over. "Gah!" Zach yelped, steadying himself. "What do you think you're doing?!" he yelled.

Chris stopped for a moment and started laughing, Zach turning red with anger. Just as Martin avoided one more laser beam, he looked around to find a Zachbot aiming right at his brother. Zach noticed this too, a venomous smile slowly creeping across his face. Martin felt like his heart stopped in his chest. He thought about flying at full speed and pushing him out of the way, but something told him he wouldn't have had enough time. Other options ran through his mind, but before he could do anything, a laser beam cut through the air like an arrow, striking Chris in the middle of his deactivation button. "AH!" Chris cried out in pain. Martin watched in horror as his brother came crashing down, a blast of green surrounding his unmoving body.

"Chris!" Martin landed near his brother and gently wrapped one wing around him, but when he looked down at his face, his eyes widened at the sight of...blood dripping down the side of his head. "Chris, please open your eyes," he stammered.

No answer, except for a weak moan.

"Aw, is green guy hurt?" Zach mocked, then the expression on his face became obscure. "Don't worry, you're right behind him," he snapped his finger and all the Zachbots immediately circled around the brothers.

"Zach," Martin clenched his teeth, anger building up within him. Any other day, he would've forgiven Zach for any terrible thing he might do to nature. But to have the audacity to hurt his own brother? It only made him want to shred him to pieces. "You'll pay for this!"

"Sure I will," Zach laughed sheepishly. Martin was about to say more, but was held back as he remembered the Zachbots threateningly swarming around them. He put up a protective wing to shield his unconscious brother.

Through Zach's laughter, Martin patiently waited to get zapped, when suddenly-

Bang. Bang.

He looked up to find two Zachbots completely annihilated, relief washing over him, followed by confusion.

"Hey, what's going on?" Zach whined, the loud sound of a ship above his head. He looked up and gasped in horror.

"Hello, Zach."

Martin looked up to find the Tortuga flying right above them, Aviva standing near a large gun-like machine, grinning with satisfaction.

"Uh oh," Zach gulped, knowing he was in trouble.

At that moment, Aviva exterminated the rest of the Zachbots, blasting them with her brand new weapon. "NO!" Zach let out as he closed his ears, overwhelmed.

"Now Zach, leave before I use this on your plane," Aviva wore a serious expression on her face, already aiming at the mentioned vehicle.

At that, Zach surrendered without hesitance. "Okay, okay, I'm leaving!" Zach took off like a scared child, leaving the disaster he caused behind him.

Martin looked up and met Aviva's eyes, Chris still in his wings. "Thank you," Aviva read his lips, and seeing the state his brother was in, she smiled sadly.

Nothing but darkness. All he could feel was a hand caressing his hair. "Hey Chris," a familiar voice echoed in his ears, it was calm and soft. He leaned in on the touch, slowly opening his eyes. The smallest bit of light in the chamber really irritated them.

He could see a blurry figure, already guessing who it was. "Martin?" His voice was feeble.

His brother jumped as he heard his name. "Chris, can you hear me?" Chris' vision slowly became more distinct; he could see the worry in his brother's eyes. He gave him a small nod as he smiled weakly, earning a sigh of relief from him.

Just then, Chris felt sharp pain stinging the right side of his head. He let out a hiss through his gritted teeth. He pressed his hand against the source of the pain, grunting from the pressure as he instantly regretted it. He also felt a bandage wrapped around his head.

"Careful bro," Martin reached out two comforting hands.

"What happened?" Chris asked.

The expression on Martin's face saddened. "You got...hit by one of the laser beams," he slowly looked away, a shred of guilt in his voice.

The memory of deactivating in mid-air flashed before Chris' eyes, followed by a faint voice screaming his name. The rest was a blur. He remained silent before sudden remembrance hit him. He gasped. "What about Zach? Did he-"

Martin raised a hand to cut him off. "Don't worry about him, he won't be causing trouble any time soon, thanks to Aviva and her new invention."

Chris smiled. "Well that's a relief."

Silence.

Chris couldn't help but sense something was bothering his brother. "Martin?" The blue Kratt avoided eye contact, looking down with sad eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry bro."

Chris looked genuinely confused. "What do you mean?"

"I could've saved you or at least yelled your name in time, but instead I just stayed fozen in mid-air," Martin's voice cracked. "You could've gotten even more hurt, or worse..." At this point, tears were starting to form in his eyes, threatening to fall any second. "I should've protected you, but I let you down." A small tear ran down his face.

However, he didn't expect what came next. He suddenly felt his bother's arms wrap around him, without warning, which startled him at first. "Don't say that," Chris whispered in his ear. "You never let me down."

More tears came rolling down. "B-But you could've gotten badly hurt, I just-" he paused, taking a deep breath. "I just don't wanna lose you," he managed with a trembling voice.

"Hey," Chris looked deep into his eyes. "I'm a tough Kratt, I won't let anything happen to me, ever." He wore a reassuring smile.

Martin smiled in turn, eyes glassy from his tears. "I know," he laughed, wiping his face. "But it won't stop me from always trying to protect you."

Chris laughed softly. "Fine by me."

And they hugged tightly.

[mytheoristavenue]

Hi it's my first time here, do you accept requests? If yes, could you do mine? please.

How would it be if the reader spent a movie night together with Sundrop/Moondrop, watching horror movies ( like Halloween, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street ).

How will the boys react and what will happen?

Thank you for choosing me to send your first ask to! I want to first say, that my inbox is not open for FNAF/SB anymore, as, when it was, that was all I was really allowed to do and still get interaction, and I decided about a year ago that if I had to choose between content that would get me views, and content that I enjoyed, I would choose the latter every time. That being said, I will fill this one for you, simply because it's your first one, and it's such a fluffy prompt. I hope it's alright that I do this in the form of HCs, enjoy!

FNAF:SB Sun/Moondrop x Reader - Scary Movie HCs

Summary: How the Daycare Attendant would spend a spooky movie night with you!

Warnings: Mentions of nightmares, scary movies, anxiety

You would be snuggled up between them, pillows against their frames for your comfort. You'd set up a projector in their little backstage room a while back for nights like these.

You and Moon are taking turns picking, because Sunny isn't particularly fond of horror movies, and will always try to talking you into watching some fluffy kid's movie, so you simply don't give him the option.

You are both particularly fond of specific types of horror. Moon likes psychological thrillers, and you like paranormal ones. This constant back and forth between ghosts/demons and mentally ill psychopaths has Sunny reeling and hiding his eyes.

"It's ok, Sun, it's just a movie! It's not real." you comfort him, pausing the film for a moment. "Would you like us to stop?"

"N-No!" he insists. "I'm brave. I can do this."

"Of course you are!" you coo, kissing his head and squishing his cheeks.

As the night goes on, the movies seem less and less interesting as the hours tick off. Sunny's the first to snooze, powering down for the night, having spent much of his battery chasing the kids around earlier in the day. You giggle at him and plug his charging cord into his back and slump against him.

Soon, you're also dozing, your head falling forward more and more as the minutes pass. Moon notices and pulls you into his side with a serene smile. Settling in, he makes sure all is well before plugging himself in and manually powering down.

Suddenly, you rose from your sleep to find yourself alone. Darting up, you call out the Attendant's names, but receive no feedback. Peering out of the curtains of the small room, you scan over the daycare from a bird's eye view.

It would have been easier to find them if the room hadn't been engulfed in flames. Everywhere you looked, you saw colorful melting plastic fixtures, charred toys, and oh God- the screaming was so deafeningly loud. All you could hear over the crackling inferno were the helpless cries of children, begging you for aid.

Suddenly a dark, ancient voice chuckled at your panic. You couldn't pinpoint the voice, it seemed to have been coming from the suffocating air itself. "All around you will burn." it boomed, the octane prompting your to cover your bleeding ears. "Nothing around you can thrive. You will always destroy everything you touch."

"NO!" you screamed, jumping up in a teary could sweat.

"Starlight, what's the matter?" Moon cooed, pulling you back into his secure arms.

"Yeah, ya feelin' okay, Sunshine?" Sunny worried, booting up and pressing a comforting hand to your back.

Your terrified gaze shifted between them before you brought your hands to cover it, breaking down and sobbing into your palms. "I-I think I had a nightmare. The daycare was on fire and the kids-! T-they ere burning alive and it was all my fault!"

The twins both enveloped you, making sure to pad themselves with bedding so as not to hurt you. "It's alright Starlight, nothing can hurt us here."

"And even if something did, it couldn't be your fault! We'll always keep you safe, Sunshine!"

[deffonotsimping]

greetings! may i request xiao kaeya and childe for the playable reader au?

yessir!!

I have already written for Xiao because of another request I got before this one! You can find it: here!

characters: Kaeya + Childe

-> Masterlist

content!! playable reader AU, gn reader, small mentions of blood (Kaeya), spoilers for Childe's storyquest

Kaeya

OH BOY

teases everyone, gets flustered when you do it back x stoic, has never felt emotions before but has a soft spot for the local jerk

People started shipping you two because of the angst potential you have! 🙏

"KaeDer (Kaeya x Reader) shippers, are you okay? I'll pay for your therapy." - "not even therapy can help anymore." - "oh!"

You have a moderate amount of shippers, people know and acknowledge that KaeDer is a thing, but not everyone necessarily likes it. However, your shippers and KaeLuc shippers (💀) have beef.

And omg. Literally every single fanfiction, every single fanart, EVEN THE COSPLAYS!! are angst.

Usually it's either you or him with blood all over whilst the other is staring at them in horror.

"Did.. Did I do this?"

yes honey, you did, and it's amazing.

Canonically, you are a half adeptus from Liyue and you are about 600 years old.

... You see where I'm getting at?

You don't know that he is from Khaenri'ah and he doesn't know that you're an adeptus that has helped and served the geo archon. What would happen if you both were to find out, hm?

Childe

As for this one, people started shipping you two because you're Teucer's babysitter!

You appear near the end of his storyquest when Teucer has to get back to snezhnaya and you and Childe have a short dialogue that hints at you two being close acquaintances.

So so so so sooo many family aus with and without Teucer, it's so cute, I'm telling you!

Half of your fans think you two have a protective/possessive childe x helpless reader dynamic whilst the other half is convinced it's more like "spar with me!" - "ok *absolutely destroys him*"

so yeah, there are fans which are the polar opposites from one another.

You sadly don't have a lot of canon content so shippers are living off of the mere crumbs they're getting!

Surprisingly, Zhongli x Childe shippers and Reader x Childe shippers get along very well, some even see the three of you together in a relationship!

Childe's is a little short, my apologies!! (call it punishment for him never critting whenever i use him smh)

ALSO!! I haven't posted in a while (oopsie) because of christmas and all that jazz! While I'll try to get back into posting more often again, I'll have lost of exams next year, so we'll see!

[fedonciadale]

Do you think Cersei and Sansa will meet again in the books? How likely is one last meeting between the two of them, and in what circumstances could it happen? I would love to see their dynamic once again, especially when Sansa is older and has more agency and power. And what about the other Lannisters? Jaime thinks of her as his “last chance of honour”, but how will Sansa react, and what will their relationship and interactions be like? If Tyrion is to be Daenerys’ Hand of the Queen like in the show, do you think he and Dany will try to subjugate Sansa by reinforcing their marriage?

Hi there!

I'm not sure how Cersei and Sansa would meet again. I'm pretty sure Cersei will destroy the Great Sept (waiting eagerly for @sayruq's meta on Cersei's parallels to Samson) but I guess Aegon will drive her put in the books and then confront his aunt.

It might well be that Cersei doesn't die when Aegon takes KL and that she will die later, maybe even with Jaime.

I must admit that I would enjoy another meeting but I don't really see the narrative point of it. Sansa will be a better Queen but it serves no purpose to 'rubb that in' so to say. And for Cersei to live the horror of seeing her prophecy fulfilled does not depend on her correct identification of Sansa as the younger more beautiful Queen (if she even is that. I'm only sure it's not Margaery.)

Tyrion definitely will try to make the most of his marriage to Sansa and it will firmly put him against the Starks. I still have hopes that Tyrion is one of the Giants Sansa will slay. And that he won't survive or ends up exiled. That a Cersei - Tyrion meeting will happen seems to be clear to me.

As for Jaime. I always thought that he is the Lannister who survives and becomes Hand. I think he will meet Sansa. If he grabs the chance for honour is a point of contention. I think that GRRM will give him the chance. It might be a 'what if' scenario with Jaime avoiding the hard way of real redemption.

Many think he is not on a redemption arc. I personally think he is although it's only baby steps and only because he misinterpretes his father's legacy. I think if he would work his ass off for the rest of his life, the last one of his family would be a good redemption, but we'll see.

Thanks for the ask!

[aot-snk-4238]

My thoughts on AOT No Requiem (Fanmade Ending) Part 1:

With another chapter of this story coming out soon, I thought now would be a good time to share my thoughts on the first part. Before I do that, though, I have a few things that I would like to get off my chest.

A part of me hates that this project exists. Not because I find it disrespectful, but because it serves as a bitter reminder of what a complete mess this ending caused among many fans. I'm still in disbelief how things got so bad so quickly. First, you've got the people who hated it. People began turning on Isayama and calling him a terrible or incompetent writer, regretting ever getting into the series, insisting that it was worse than Game of Thrones, the list goes on and on. People who liked the ending are now endlessly referred to as "ending defenders" or more crude names like "Isayama cockriders," as though they're a bunch of incompetent fools who don't know the first thing about reading comprehension all because they just happened to like it. And then of course you've got the other extreme end of the spectrum where the ones who were disappointed are accused of not understanding the story or they're only upset because their favorite ship or fan theory didn't become canon. This, too, is very demeaning and invalidating for those who grew up with this series that they gave their heart to and cherished for so long, only to have it do what they felt was a complete 180 at the very last second that undid every part of the story they thought was special and unique. It's one of the hardest slaps to the face you can get as a reader and long-time fan, and while I can't fully relate to everyone's feelings, I can at least understand and acknowledge that it's there and it shouldn't be laughed at. Now with all of that out of the way, here are my thoughts and analysis of this fanmade ending and how it differs from Isayama's.

To start things off, I found that part 1 started off similar to how 137 did in the canon manga, with Armin and Zeke conversing in PATHS. The biggest difference would be kid Eren being transported there and seeing his older self. To be fair though, this chapter was only about half the length of what we're used to reading, so I'm sure we'll get a lot more in part 2 onwards.

While Zeke is enlightening Armin on the history of the earth and how the life form that attached itself to Ymir sought to avoid death forever, young Eren is in PATHS too with his older self, witnessing the moment Ymir found the tree and fell in it to become the first titan. At first, there is no dialogue exchanged between them. They just hold hands and watch. Meanwhile, Zeke is still talking to Armin about Ymir and how she continued to serve her oppressive master despite acquiring godlike powers that would allow her to obliterate him whenever she pleased. This is where the team working on this project attempt to provide their own alternate possibilities as to why this happened in a way that would make more sense than what we were given in the canon story in which she simply had a severe case of Stockholm Syndrome and couldn't let him go no matter how much he made her suffer.

So what are these new possibilities? They come in the form of a question, so their validity is not made absolutely certain, but they're presented as the most likely candidates nonetheless.

According to Zeke, she was unable to separate her own desires from King Fritz and was a lost girl who sought meaning. A place to belong. Tragically, King Fritz was the only connection she had in her life, so she clung to it with everything she had despite it being toxic and abusive. I could argue that these are the very reasons why she supposedly loved the king in the official manga, as explained by Eren in 139, but they weren't explained or touched on as plainly as they were here. I feel like they could have been if Isayama had just been given more time, but sadly the whole thing was rushed and underdeveloped.

Moving on, Zeke states that despite his efforts in trying to understand Ymir and her feelings, it was Eren who ultimately was able to get to her and offer her the choice of freedom. The next page transitions to young Eren standing in the clouds with his arms spread out and a smile on his face just like in the official 137, only this time 19yo Eren is next to him. Now I'm going to be honest here, this is where things started to get a little corny for me. Yeah. I know a lot of people hate that argument, but that's just how it felt to me. And before I say anything else, I want everybody to know that I am in no way about to mock anyone's fondness of this Eren over the one we saw in 139, even if it was a little over-the-top. It's perfectly fine to prefer one over the other, I'm just going to try to explain myself the best I can without coming across as harsh or unprofessional.

Eren is drawn in these panels to be a stone-faced, determined and unstoppable force who will "keep moving forward until his enemies are destroyed." This is the Eren that many people grew most familiar with throughout the series, despite his occasional breakdowns, but something about the way it was executed just felt a little too overdramatic and exaggerated. For me, the contrast between this Eren and the Eren we were presented with in 139 is too jarring. It came across to me as the fandom's idealized version of Eren, the "chad" Eren if you will, rather than Isayama's portrayal of Eren who is cold and determined, but has also been experiencing stunted mental growth ever since the day he saw his mother get eaten; side note: I know that Eren himself was responsible for his mother's death, but that's a discussion for a later time. Not only that, but the "keep moving forward" line starts to get overused at this point. We already heard Eren say this a number of times before 137 where this first fanmade chapter takes place, so I didn't find it necessary to include that at the end, but it seemed to be the writers' way of trying to reinforce Eren's ultimate goal.

Regarding the rest of the chapter, young Eren asks older Eren what Ymir is still waiting for after he showed her that she's not alone. 19yo Eren proceeds to explain that while he was able to make her feel something again, she still needs somebody to free her. He shows his younger self all of the visions from PATHS that he's seen so far, ranging from past events to alternate realities to things that couldn't be changed no matter what. Now there is only one path left that he strives toward. The one that he believes will grant him and his people freedom. This next line is the one that stood out to me the most throughout this fanmade chapter. Still talking to kid Eren, adult Eren says, "When you wake up, you will forget what you learned, but not what you felt here. This will all feel just like a long dream." Only when he kisses Historia's hand will it all come back to him. This line more clearly explains why Eren woke up crying in chapter 1, but couldn't remember why. Then he circles back to how he intends to carry out his own plan to end the cycle of hatred once and for all. Despite his efforts along the way, he couldn't change the flow of PATHS and save the friends he lost or prevent certain events from happening altogether, so he had to accept that sacrifices had to be made. In this case, he will have to literally sacrifice the world, much to Armin's horror.

To wrap this up, I'm going to finish comparing this to the canon 137, but since the first part of this project only covers the PATHS portion of it, that's where I'll stop as well. To save a little but of time, I'm just gonna be lazy and copy the first part of a quick overview of the chapter I found as part of the wiki:

So clearly, canon 137 starts off focusing a lot more on Armin and Zeke's differing philosophies and does not provide any further insight into Eren's ultimate motives like this one does, at least not yet. Armin and Eren are bound to face off soon in this fanmade version, but it looks to me like this time the writers are planning on flipping the outcome and having Eren come out victorious instead, especially when I remember the name of this project and what it's based on. I guess that means that in a way, I already know what's ultimately going to happen throughout the rest of this project. Whether it's going to be considered superior to the actual ending is going to depend on if its executed properly. I could very well be wrong about some of this, though. I want to give it a fair shot since these people have clearly put a lot of hard work and passion into this, so I will refrain from further judgement until we get the full picture. On a side note, I just want to say that the artwork is beautiful so far and I commend every artist responsible for their efforts. I also liked the song choice at the beginning and thought it set the mood pretty well.

Thank you to everyone who read the whole thing. This took me far longer to write than it should have because I'm not always good at expressing myself in a way that does not come across as confusing or contradictory. I will continue to share my thoughts as more content is released, which by the looks of it could be any day now.