#We went to prom together! (As pals) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

maybeimamuppet · 3 years ago

Text

you happened

hey darlings!! happy wednesday!!!

let’s get right into it shall we?

tw for

discussion of canon events in mg (outing, etc)

discussion of canon events in the prom (homophobia, etc.)

this was requested by @spidy-nugget like forever ago so thank you for your patience and i hope you enjoy!

—

“Oh!” Cady says, interrupting herself in the middle of a sentence. “I just remembered! My cousin is coming to visit next week, do you guys want to meet her?”

“Emma?” Damian asks excitedly. Cady nods. “Yes! Is she bringing the-her… Broadway friends?”

“I dunno, she didn’t tell me,” Cady giggles. “But probably, she said they usually visit her at some point every summer.”

“I should probably be there to stop him from combusting if they do come,” Janis huffs. “But also, yes, I want to meet her too.”

“She’s an absolute icon,” Damian says happily. “God, her song. Still makes me cry.”

“You cried watching Finding Dory yesterday,” Janis retaliates.

“It’s a sad movie! Sometimes!” Damian defends. “Anyway, tell me all about Emma.”

“Okay,” Cady giggles again. “She’s a year older than us, and she’s my cousin on my mom’s side. Um… you know her whole… prom fiasco. I’ve only met her in person once when I was ten, for Rhys’ funeral. But we were pen pals when we were really little. And now we just text and stuff.”

“Cute,” Damian says. “And is her girlfriend coming?”

“Oh! Yeah,” Cady says around a mouthful of Janis’ milkshake. “Her name is Alyssa, she’s, like, super smart. Did every possible activity in high school, that kind of thing. But she’s been with Emma when we’ve Facetimed and stuff before and she’s super sweet.”

“Aww,” Damian coos. “I can’t wait!”

————-

Luckily for him, Damian doesn’t have to wait too long. Emma and Alyssa arrive the following week in Emma’s pickup. Damian has been pressed against the window all day, like a small child watching for the ice cream truck. He gasps dramatically when four people in matching sequined tracksuits also hop out of the backseat, grumbling about being cramped together for such a long trip.

Cady opens the door to let everyone in, and is quickly swamped by a crowd of people much taller than her. Janis pops up on her tippy toes to try and find her girlfriend to save her, but doesn’t succeed.

Everyone heads into the living room, and Janis laughs when she finds Cady being carried in like a sack of potatoes by one of the men that came with Emma.

“Emma, why didn’t you tell me your cousin was so adorable?” He demands. “Look at this, she’s so small.”

“Please put me down,” Cady squeaks. Janis heads over and reaches for her.

“Can I have my girlfriend back, please?”

“And she’s gay!” The man says happily, passing Cady over like she’s a small dog. Janis holds her close and smoothes her hair back to where it was.

“Bi, actually,” Cady grumbles.

“Well, aren’t you something. Oh, my name is Barry, by the way. As if you haven’t heard of me.”

“Barry, we talked about this,” Emma chides. “They haven’t. Except Damian.”

“And where is this Damian? I want to meet him,” one of the ladies says. “Oh, and my name is Dee Dee.”

Damian enters shyly and gives a little wave. Janis cackles, “Dude, you’re totally starstruck, look at you!”

“Uh-hi,” he stutters. “I’m Damian.”

“Aww!” The other lady says. “Look at your little cheeks, what a sweetheart! I’m Angie.”

Damian blushes violently as he’s cooed over by Angie. Barry hauls her off to get a good look at him.

“I like this,” he says. “It’s like a mini me.”

“Just don’t break him,” Emma pleads. “Damian, can I trust you to babysit for a while?”

That prompts a, ‘Hey!’ from all four adults, and an eager nod from Damian. “I can show them around town.”

“This is not a town, darling,” Dee Dee says gently. “But what is there to see?”

“We have… uh-“

“There’s an IHOP!” Cady chirps. “And the mall. That’s kind of it until you get to Chicago. Or the lake.”

“This is the most precious soul,” Barry says happily.

“Dame, we did it. I never thought I’d see the day we found someone gayer than you,” Janis laughs.

“Oh, I like this one too,” Barry says. “Funky little lesbian. She dresses like Emma but goth.”

“I do love the hair,” Emma agrees. “I’m dressed more like Cady today though.”

They both look down at their almost-matching flannels and jean shorts, then back at each other with a nod.

“Same boots though,” Janis cheers, lifting a foot. Emma laughs and nudges it with one of her own doc martens. “Nice.”

“Precious,” Angie says. “Okay, we’ll leave you gals alone now. Damian, show us the sights.”

“It would be my pleasure,” Damian says, leading the adults to the door.

“Yes, show us to the… hopping eyes,” Dee Dee says, sounding both bored and intrigued at the same time. Damian waves goodbye to Janis excitedly and closes the door after him.

“Well,” Emma chuckles. “Oh, I hope he’ll be okay.”

“I think he’ll be fine,” Alyssa soothes. “He’s in good company, and he’s a theatre kid, he gets their… vibes.”

“Theatre kid is an understatement for that boy,” Janis tuts affectionately.

“True,” Cady giggles. “Anyway, we can hang out in my room, if you want?”

Emma and Alyssa nod, so Cady leads everyone up to her bedroom. Janis flops onto the bed and Cady crawls in behind her, lifting her head onto her lap. Alyssa and Emma look around curiously for a second before joining them.

“Who did these?” Alyssa asks, pointing to the paintings and collages adorning the walls. “They’re incredible, especially this one. It looks just like you guys!”

Janis flushes as she points to the one she won her art contest with, of she and Damian and Cady all together. “I did.”

“Dang,” Emma breathes. “You have some serious talent, Janis.”

“Thanks,” Janis squeaks.

“No, seriously! Do you have stuff here?” Emma insists.

“A few things, yeah,” Janis says confusedly, raising an eyebrow. “Why?”

Emma lifts her guitar case onto the bed and flicks the latches open, pulling out her famous instrument. It’s covered in stickers and little doodles, much like Janis’ jackets.

“Will you do something on this for me?”

Janis’ eyes go wide. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course!” Emma chuckles. “There’s room down here if you want it visible, or on the back.”

Janis carefully takes the instrument and assesses the material, trying to put an idea together in her mind. She runs to Cady’s desk when one comes to her, where she keeps a supply of basic colors and brushes in case of emergency. Cady doesn’t mind keeping them, they remind her of her girlfriend.

Cady grins affectionately as Emma and Alyssa cuddle in together. “How did you two meet?”

Her cousin turns to smile at her girlfriend. “I kind of always knew of her from school and stuff, but we didn’t really get close until sophomore year.”

Alyssa nods in agreement. “My mom wanted me to be more creative and have another skill or whatever, so she signed me up for guitar classes. Just so happens she was my teacher.”

“You really sucked,” Emma teases. Alyssa scoffs, aghast, and shoves her so hard she nearly falls off the bed. “Ack! Hey, I was kidding!”

“I know,” Alyssa giggles. “I did suck, I’ve never been much good at artsy stuff.”

“I was never good at art either,” Cady chuckles at their antics. “Jay’s tried to teach me to paint a couple times and it hasn’t gone too well.”

She peeks around the other couple to where her own girlfriend is sitting cross-legged on the ground, tongue poked out to the side as she carefully brushes a stroke of paint onto Emma’s guitar. Janis looks up when she feels her gaze, and grins happily when she sees Cady.

“You have the right instincts, I keep telling you,” she says. “You just get cranky too fast and then start attacking me with it.”

Everyone else bursts out laughing. Emma says, “I don’t blame her, I hated art class. What were we talking about?”

“How we met, dummy,” Alyssa huffs, kissing behind Emma’s ear.

“Oh yeah! So, we started off with actual lessons, but then we started getting to know each other more,” Emma explains. “And then I came out and got kicked out, which… a lot of people heard about, so Lyss figured I was a safe person to tell that she was questioning.”

Cady nods, listening intently to the story.

“I came out to her that summer,” Alyssa says. “And she said she’d had a crush on me all along, and asked me out. So we went on a walk and then got coffee and the rest is history.”

“We forgot to mention the serious gay panic I had during our first lesson,” Emma chuckles. “But that’s the gist of it.”

“How cute,” Cady coos.

“What about you two, how long have you been together?” Alyssa asks kindly, flicking Emma’s ear gently as she aggressively plops down onto her lap.

“Four months,” Janis pipes up immediately.

“Man, you crushed on her for that long without saying anything, Cades?” Emma says, impressed. Janis pops her head up and listens in.

“Oh?”

“She never shut up about you for, like, almost a year,” Emma laughs. Cady flushes scarlet and looks down at her lap with a flustered squeak. “I’m assuming it was you, she never gave a name. But it was always a tall, hot artist with cool hair and nice muscles. And I think she mentioned your butt a few times, she thinks that’s cute.”

Janis cackles as Cady flops facedown onto her bed and groans into a pillow. “How cute, I didn’t know that. But I shouldn’t laugh, I definitely wasn’t any better.”

“How did you get together?” Alyssa asks, patting Cady’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. Janis snorts from the ground and Cady gives another groan into her pillow. “What?”

“You tell them,” Cady grumbles, poking her face out just long enough that it’s not muffled.

“Baby, it’s cute,” Janis coos.

“No it’s not!”

“Okay, fine, I’ll tell it in a way that makes me look just as dorky,” Janis compromises. “Caddy came to my school in September from Kenya, and she had these adorable little cargo shorts and socks with sandals on, and-“

“Hold on, what?” Alyssa insists. “Kenya?”

“Cady grew up there, her parents are zoologists,” Emma explains.

“How many conversations have we had with her? And you never thought to tell me she’s from Africa?”

“It never came up! We both had a lot going on the first year and then we just didn’t bring it up,” Emma defends. “And now you know.”

“Sorry,” Alyssa says. “Keep going.”

“It’s all good,” Janis chuckles. “Anyway, I fell for her so bad the first day that I dragged Damian into the bathroom at lunch and made him let her join our group.”

Cady pops her head up and looks to her girlfriend. “You did?”

“Yeah, duh,” Janis says. “We’re not known for socializing with the new kids, I just thought you were cute.”

Cady blushes again, but doesn’t return to her pillow. “Keep going.”

Janis chuckles and continues telling the story as she finishes her small painting on Emma’s guitar. “So we became friends that day, and then had… an ordeal, through the rest of junior year and didn’t really reconnect until spring.”

Cady’s told Emma and Alyssa the whole story, so they both nod at Janis’ quick explanation.

“We got really close over the summer, and apparently we were both crushing on each other. But we didn’t notice, somehow. And then I sorta snapped on her birthday this year and decided to fess up, so I made that,” Janis points to the black and white collage hanging next to one of her paintings on the wall. “But before I could give it to her, this little firecracker got wasted and started crying in my lap about how much she loved me.”

“I wasn’t that drunk!” Cady huffs.

“I found you lying on the ground singing yourself to sleep,” Janis giggles. “And you didn’t recognize me, clearly. Just climbed into my lap and spilled your guts. I was lucky it wasn’t literal.”

“Janis Sarkisian,” Cady grumbles. “Behave.”

“Fine, fine,” Janis chuckles. “Anyway, once she sobered up a little bit we had a chat and realized we both had feelings for each other, so we started dating. And now we’re here.”

“That did not make you sound anywhere near as dorky as me,” Cady huffs. “But yeah, that’s… that’s it.”

Emma snorts once the story is done. “That does sound like Cady. But if that’s what it took, then I guess it was worth it.”

Cady turns to look at Janis again. “It was. But you guys went through a lot more than us, that must have been tough on both of you.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Emma chuckles, trying to sneak a peek at Janis’ work. The angle isn’t quite right, so she gives up before she falls off her girlfriend. “You guys went through a lot. But yeah, it was really tough. I’m so lucky.”

“I’m the lucky one,” Alyssa murmurs back. “You guys know the story?”

“I do,” Cady says. “I think Jay and Damian just know the bare bones. It’s your story to tell, I didn’t want to give too many details away.”

Alyssa gives her a grateful smile, and Cady grins back. “Do you want to hear it?”

“Of course,” Janis pipes up. “I finished, by the way. Um, here.”

“Hey, you stole my idea!” Cady jokingly whines when she sees what Janis has done.

“But it’s so perfect!” Janis defends. Emma takes her guitar to see, and smiles at the new lion with a rainbow mane in the spot they’d picked. “And it’s kind of for both of us.”

“This is awesome,” Emma says. “Oh! I get it, it’s a pride thing! Pride of lions, and then… oh. Clever!”

“It was actually Caddy’s idea, she made me a rock with it at pride last week,” Janis says. “I thought it fit.”

“It does, you’re really talented!” Alyssa says, leaning over her girlfriend’s shoulder to see it. Janis’ text tone goes off, so she pulls her phone out of the pocket of her shorts to check it. Cady peeks over to see what it is too as Janis bursts out laughing. It’s a picture of Damian surrounded by his new friends, now in a matching tracksuit all of his own.

jamian: Sent a picture: JAN LOOKIT

danis: nice outfit

jamian: Thank u it really suits me doesnt it

danis: honestly

danis: yeah kinda

jamian: Sent a picture: Thank u

jamian: Anyway we’re going to ihop next yall should meet us there

danis: kk love u

jamian: Love u too

“I think your little crew adopted Damian,” Janis chuckles at Emma and Alyssa, showing them the photo of a very excited Damian.

“Aww,” Emma chuckles. “I’m glad they didn’t kill him, they can be a lot to handle.”

“He seems fine,” Janis shrugs. “Whose truck are we taking?”

“Oh, is that one in the driveway yours?” Emma says excitedly. Janis nods. “It’s nice!”

“We’ve been in Em’s all day,” Alyssa chuckles. “Probably best to take yours.”

“I call shotgun!” Cady yells, already tugging on her shoes and running downstairs.

“As if I’d let anyone else,” Janis mumbles affectionately under her breath.

————-

The waitstaff at IHOP look more than a little frightened at the size of their group, and especially at the crew in tracksuits.

“Ey, yo!” One of them calls. “Guys, come here! It’s that guy from the thing! That show!”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Trent grumbles under his breath. “Why is it always that? I played Hamlet!”

They’re quickly escorted to a large table near the back, and Trent signs a few menus as a little gift to the now very excited waiters.

“Was Juilliard worth it?” He mutters to himself. Angie, who’s sat next to him, nudges him with an elbow to shut him up.

Janis and Emma both order for their girlfriends, and also order themselves the same meal of chicken and waffles. Dee Dee gets french toast, Angie gets an omelet, Trent gets some crepes, and Barry gets the most horrifically sweet looking pancakes anyone’s ever seen. Apparently they’re cupcake flavored.

Alyssa looks very content with her large Belgian waffle, and Cady seems delighted with her chocolate chip pancakes decorated with whipped cream to look like a face. It’s definitely from the children’s menu, but nobody says anything.

“So tell us about you guys,” Dee Dee says once their food gets delivered. She looks eagerly to her friends, as if to say, ‘Look how nice I can be when I want to.’ Barry claps quietly for her.

“What do you want to know?” Damian asks. Dee Dee puts her head in her hands, clearly not knowing how to continue. Trent takes over for her.

“How do you guys know each other?”

“Oh!” Damian says excitedly. “Janis and I have been friends, like, forever. We met in tap dance class when we were three.”

“And you knocked my fucking teeth out in that class when we were five,” Janis grumbles.

“By accident!” Damian defends amidst the giggles of their whole group. “I got really into it. Anyway, so we’ve been friends forever. And then little Caddy happened along in junior year, and we kind of kidnapped her for a while.”

“No, I needed to be kidnapped,” Cady laughs. “I was a total wreck. They actually sort of rescued me from the school bathroom at lunch.”

“You were eating in the bathroom?” Barry asks, sounding both empathetic and disgusted. “Oh, you poor sweet thing.”

“I was the new kid, y’know?” Cady shrugs. “Nobody wanted to eat with the dork from Africa.”

Angie chokes on a bite of her food, and Trent thumps her on the back. “From what now?”

“I’m from Kenya,” Cady giggles. “Well, technically I was born in Oregon. But I lived in Kenya for thirteen years.”

“Just, like, in the wilderness?” Barry asks in shock. “With the lions and tigers and… bears and stuff?”

Cady laughs out loud. “Pretty much. But there’s no tigers or bears.”

“But there were lions?” Trent insists.

“Oh, yeah,” Cady says like it’s entirely normal. “That’s mostly what we were studying. They were kind of my only friends.”

“And they never showed any interest in… consuming you?” Dee Dee asks worriedly. Cady laughs again.

“Lions are just big cats, you know, guys? As long as you’re careful and respect their boundaries they won’t hurt you,” she chuckles. “I got swiped at a few times when I was little, but I never needed more than fifteen stitches.”

“Fifteen?” Angie yelps.

“That is kind of a lot, Cades,” Emma chuckles. “I never had to get more than three as a kid.”

“Oh. Well, I was kind of asking for it, I was playing too rough,” Cady hums.

“With a lion,” Alyssa insists. “Do you have pictures?” Cady nods and passes over her phone for them to scroll through her camera roll.

“Anyway, please keep going,” Angie says, leaning across the table to try to see.

“That’s basically it,” Janis shrugs. “Until you get into the whole mess that happened junior year.”

Cady and Damian nod in agreement. The adults all look very excited at the prospect of some new drama. “Do tell.”

The art freaks all look to one another warily, wondering who should begin. Cady decides to after a second of back and forth.

“Well, um… I sat with these two on my first day,” she begins. “But then just before lunch ended I met these three girls. We called them the Plastics.”

“Why?” Angie asks curiously. Damian shows them all a photo. “Oh. I already don’t like this one.” Janis snorts quietly as she points to Regina.

“Anyway, they said I should sit with them, and Janis and Damian wanted me to so I could spy on them,” Cady says sheepishly. “They have some… personal history.”

“Oh?” Trent asks. Cady looks to Janis, this bit is her story to tell.

“Regina, the one in the middle, outed me in eighth grade,” Janis says. “Carved slurs into my locker, that kinda thing.”

“Oh, honey,” Barry says sadly. “That bitch.”

Janis chuckles weakly. “Yeah. The other two just kind of went along with it. They were just generally bitchy to everyone. But I didn’t have many friends because of her, and I went through a lot of counseling and stuff because of it. Spent some time in the hospital for… reasons, but that’s not… something we need to discuss right now.”

Everyone nods, respecting her privacy. Cady continues telling the story. “So, I pretended to join them and would kind of report back to Janis and Damian. I learned that they had this book, called the Burn Book, where they would write mean things about people from the yearbook and stuff. And at the same time I was crushing for a long time on this boy named Aaron, but he was Regina’s ex. She had dumped him earlier for another guy. And she was actually cheating on him with the other one.”

“Oh, can I tell this bit?” Janis asks. Cady nods and gestures for her to keep going. “So, around Halloween, Cady went to Aaron’s party, and I don’t know exactly what happened, but he basically got back together with Regina.”

“What kind of idiot-“ Trent begins, getting cut off by a stomp on the foot from Dee Dee.

“So poor Caddy came to my house,” Janis says, trying to keep down giggles at the memory. “Fucking slams my basement door open, but Dame and I were watching horror movies. Caddy was dressed as some corpse bride with a knife in her back and everything, and Damian screamed so loud, like, higher than I’ve ever heard. But she was crying, so we helped her and then came up with a revenge plot.”

Dee Dee suddenly looks very interested, leaning forwards slightly and resting her head on her folded hands.

“Caddy had these snack bars from Kenya, they’re… Swedish, I think?” Damian says. Cady nods. “They make you gain weight, like, really quickly. Regina was kind of obsessed with her weight and image and stuff, so we got Caddy to tell her they were actually a diet bar to help lose weight.”

“No,” Angie gasps. Everyone laughs at her reaction.

“Yeah,” Cady laughs. “I don’t think anything major happened until around Christmas. The Plastics did this dance every year at the winter talent show, and we had to wear these skimpy little Santa outfits. But Regina had already gained a fair bit of weight, so her skirt didn’t fit…”

“It fell off in the middle of the routine in front of everyone,” Janis cackles. Emma and Alyssa both look slightly scared of her. “Sorry. Personal vindication. But yeah, that was kind of the beginning of the end for her. Cady kind of… got lost in it, by that point. It was hard to tell if she was pretending or not.”

Cady looks down at her lap in shame, so Janis takes her hand under the table and kisses the side of her head a few times to comfort her. Damian keeps going with the story.

“So, Caddy basically overthrew Regina as Queen Bee of the school. She threw a little party and didn’t invite us or Regina, so she kind of was attacking both fronts. We got pretty mad and stopped associating with her, and Regina was obviously furious,” he says. “And so as revenge for that, Regina photocopied the Burn Book and spread all the pages around the school. I saw, like, seven fights before first period even started that day.”

“But didn’t they know that she had written it?” Trent asks.

“That’s the thing, she put herself in it,” Janis adds, now holding Cady on her lap. “So nobody suspected her. She went to the principal and blamed Gretchen and Karen, they’re the other two, and Cady.”

“I don’t like this story,” Barry whines. “Tell me something good happens.”

“Oh, just wait,” Janis chuckles darkly. “There was an assembly called that day, and they tried to make us apologize to each other and do trust exercises or something like that. I kind of went rogue and only apologized to myself and rallied the rest of the girls in our grade.”

“Go Janis,” Angie says, sounding impressed. “Stick it to the man.”

“Thanks,” Janis laughs. “But it only lasted a few minutes.”

“Damn it,” Barry groans. “What happened?”

“Regina got hit by a bus,” Cady says. Angie spits her mouthful of lemonade over Trent.

“She what?”

“Yeah,” Cady laughs. “So, that time kind of sucked for both of us. She was in the hospital recovering, and everyone was saying that I pushed her in front of it or that she jumped in front of it on purpose because of me.”

“She didn’t die?” Dee Dee clarifies. Everyone is more than a little concerned at the disappointment in her voice.

“No,” Cady chuckles. “Well, she died for, like, fifteen seconds, but she was resuscitated and she’s fine now.”

“And did you push her?” Barry asks. “We’re all friends here, you can tell us.”

“No!” Cady huffs. “I may have been a raging bitch, but I’m not an attempted murderer.”

“You didn’t feed anyone to a lion back in Kenya?” Janis teases gently.

“I’ll do it to you if you’re not careful,” Cady retaliates with a laugh. “Where did we leave off?”

“Regina got hit by a bus and you didn’t push her,” Trent says helpfully, still dabbing some lemonade out of his sweater with a wad of napkins.

“Oh,” Damian says. “Okay, so, I don’t… totally remember what happened in between that and Spring Fling, but it’s really not important.”

“I was suspended for the Book, that’s kind of it,” Cady says, gesturing for him to continue.

“Oh, yeah! Anyway, Spring Fling at our school is basically prom but for underclassmen, prom is just for the seniors. Jan and I were each other’s dates, she decorated our outfits and stuff, we looked killer if I do say so myself.”

Janis rolls her eyes lovingly and whacks him with an elbow.

“And Caddy was banned, so she wasn’t supposed to be there, but she showed up towards the end with the Mathletes,” Damian continues. “And she had been nominated for queen, and she won. So she went up on stage and gave the most beautiful speech I’ve ever heard and broke her crown, and we all got a piece. So now we’re all friends and life is good.”

“Nice ending, Dame,” Janis laughs. “Hasty conclusions. But that it is basically how it happened.”

Everyone blinks at them. Trent says, “That was like being in a war zone. Just one bombshell after another.”

“It kinda was, our math teacher got stabbed in the leg at one point,” Cady hums. “Anyway, what’s your guys’ story? If you want to share.”

“Oh, yeah, I’d like to know more,” Damian says. “Jan and I really only know the bare bones. What was in the news, and stuff.”

“You guys can start,” Emma says, pulling a face as Alyssa gently dabs some syrup off her lip. Alyssa giggles when Emma tries to bite her hand and kisses Emma’s cheek.

“Ooh, okay!” Barry says eagerly. “We were in a show. Well, Dee Dee and I. We were in a delightful little show called Eleanor.”

“As in…” Janis says confusedly.

“Eleanor Roosevelt,” Dee Dee explains. She seems surprised when the kids all nod in understanding. “You’ve heard of her?”

“Yeah?” Cady says, tilting her head. “She’s one of the most famous first ladies of all time, we learned about her in our history class.”

“Not nearly enough,” Janis grumbles. “Gotta make time for the men.”

“Amen sister,” Angie huffs.

“Really…” Dee Dee hums interestedly. “Anyway, it was… not a success. Poor advance sales, and then…”

“We bombed opening night,” Barry grumbles. “Apparently. But it wasn’t the show, it was… it was us. The media panned us as aging narcissists and we had to close.”

“On opening night?” Damian gasps in horror. Dee Dee and Barry both nod sadly.

“Regretfully, yes. So, we had to try to change the narrative,” Dee Dee says. “We decided to find a good cause and do something. So we were going to build houses for Habitat for Humanity.”

“But Barry has a bad back,” Trent pipes up. “So then we thought about, like, recycling or fixing poverty or world hunger.”

“But that was all too much for us to handle,” Angie says. “So I went on Twitter and found-”

“Me!” Emma says. “Apparently that all happened on the same night as the first assembly where the PTA cancelled prom in the first place. I guess we were trending.”

“And they only cancelled it because you two wanted to go together?” Janis asks sadly.

“Yep. Well, nobody knew about Alyssa, but they cancelled it because they knew I wanted to bring my girlfriend,” Emma explains.

“Those bitches,” Janis grumbles. “Sorry.”

“Believe me, we get it,” Emma laughs. “But my bit of the story isn’t quite here yet.”

“Oh, yes!” Dee Dee realizes. “So, we decided to help Emma, but we were completely out of funds and had no way to get all the way to Indiana from New York.”

“But I had just booked a non-equity tour of Godspell,” Trent half-brags. The other half seems rather depressed at that statement. “So we came on the tour bus.”

“Can I start our part?” Alyssa asks. Emma nods and squeezes her hand under the table. “So, they obviously gave no indication that they were coming. Emma and Principal Hawkins had gone to the State’s Attorney by that point and put some legal pressure on the PTA, so we had another assembly to discuss options.”

“We?” Damian asks.

“Oh, my mom was the head of the PTA,” Alyssa says casually. Damian chokes on his drink and Janis nearly drops Cady on the ground.

“Your mom cancelled your prom?” Janis asks in shock. Alyssa nods sadly. “Oh, because you… she didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

“It was what it was. She knows now,” Alyssa hums. “Anyway, I was there to speak for student council. I was mid-sentence, and then they come barreling into the gym with signs and yelling at everyone.”

“Educating everyone,” Barry corrects. “Loudly and with signs.”

“Right, educating. Sorry,” Alyssa laughs. “So my mom totally loses her shit. It’s chaos. I think Trent had a cowbell at some point?”

Trent reaches into a messenger bag next to him and pulls out a cowbell, resting it on the table with a quiet thunk.

“You just keep that with you?” Janis chuckles.

“For emergencies,” Trent explains. “You’d be surprised.”

Janis tries to think of what emergencies she’s faced that would either be helped or solved with the addition of a cowbell, and surprisingly, she can think of a few.

“Of course he keeps it all the time,” Emma chuckles. “I don’t remember… most of what happened that time. But after a few days they announced that the prom was back on.”

“Because of you?” Damian asks, looking to the stars.

“No,” they all say at the same time Emma says, “I think so.”

Everyone looks her way. “I told you this at the time, but you guys really scared people! I think you at least had a part.”

“How sweet,” Dee Dee says. “Let’s say we had an ensemble part in getting it back on.”

That gets a chuckle from everyone at the table, before Barry continues with the story.

“I, obviously, had to take Emma shopping,” he says. “She only had one dress and it was… a travesty would be an understatement.”

“I’m honestly not sure where it came from,” Emma chuckles. “Just think Little House on the Prarie but somehow so much worse.”

“So we went to the mall, and found this lovely blue dress and some good shoes,” Barry says. Emma looks like she would disagree with his choice of adjectives, but nods. “Did her hair and makeup all fancy, and bought her a corsage.”

“Aww,” Cady coos. “How sweet.”

“That part was fun,” Emma agrees fondly. “But…”

“When we got there,” Barry says. “Poor thing was so excited, but it was-it was just-“

Dee Dee continues for him, as Barry gets too emotional to keep going. “It was totally empty. Barry took Emma into the gym, and it was just horrific. There were barely any decorations, and they were just thrown up. I would be stunned if they spent more than ten dollars on the whole thing.”

“Oh god,” Damian says sadly. “I heard it was a fake, but I didn’t know it was that bad.”

“It sucked,” Emma chuckles sardonically, trying not to get too heavy in the middle of an IHOP. “More than anything. I didn’t care about the decorations, I just… it was so lonely, you know? I realized then that so many people I thought cared about me just didn’t. So many people I thought were my friends, weren’t. I had never felt more alone.”

“It sounds awful,” Janis says.

“It was,” Emma mumbles. Alyssa takes her hand under the table and gives it a gentle squeeze. Emma looks up and gives her a sad but grateful grin.

“I was at the… other prom. The real one,” Alyssa continues, seeming ashamed. “I had no idea what they had done, everyone on student council and the PTA hid it from me too. Some of my friends had seen us together and realized I was the ‘secret girlfriend’ and were trying to break us up.”

“Which worked,” Emma admits sadly. “I called her to try to get her to come to my own personal prom so I could at least have her there, but her mom was at the real one with her and she couldn’t leave. And I just sort of… lost it. I hung up and we didn’t talk again for a week.”

“I never blamed you for that,” Alyssa murmurs gently. “You were still trying to process everything and I just added to it.”

“No, you didn’t,” Emma insists. “We can talk more later. Anyway. I ran out, obviously. And Angie actually came after me, which was nice. She just let me cry and didn’t make me do anything. Helped me get my makeup off and stuff. She even slept on my bedroom floor in case I needed something. It was kind of like having a mom there, which I really needed.”

“How fucking old-“ Angie begins, but Trent claps a hand over her mouth. Emma laughs and continues.

“And then the rest of them came by the next day even though I yelled at them,” she says.

“With ice cream!” Barry butts in. “That’s an important detail.”

“Oh yeah, they brought me Häagen Dazs,” Emma laughs. “It was cute. Especially because they thought I wouldn’t know what it was.”

“Can you blame us? You live in the most yeehaw hick town in Indiana,” Trent says. “And that’s saying something.”

“It’s not that bad,” Emma tuts. “Anyway, they brought ice cream and were trying to convince me to do something to bring more attention to what was happening. Dee Dee actually got me on a talk show at one point, but I knew I would never be able to do something like that.”

“You still owe me a house,” Dee Dee grumbles under her breath. “But what she wound up doing was much better anyway.”

“The song?” Damian asks. Emma nods.

“I had it sort of in my head for a while, and I managed to piece it together in about a week,” she replies. “I was terrified, but it was just an overnight thing. I woke up the next day and it already had two million views.”

Alyssa squeezes her hand with a proud smile. “Half of them were me.”

“The other half were Damian,” Janis chuckles. “He made me watch it at lunch one day and we both watched it so many times we knew all the words by the next day.”

“Aww,” Emma says. “You guys are so sweet.”

“We try,” Janis and Damian say at the same time, locking eyes and glaring at each other once they notice. Cady giggles at their antics.

“Anyway,” Emma laughs. “I wasn’t expecting even that many, but people just kept watching, and then I started getting all these comments on it that were so precious. All these other queer kids all over the world sharing their stories too. Eventually it got back to Principal Hawkins and all of them, and they helped figure out how to set up an inclusive prom. And funded it, which was very helpful.”

“Yeah, helpful,” Dee Dee grumbles under her breath.

“Once we saw where the money was going it was so worth it,” Barry says, gently kicking Dee Dee under the table. “It was beautiful.”

“It really was,” Emma agrees. “But god, it took forever to set up.”

“God, yeah,” Alyssa says. “Oh, and we got back together, like, as we were setting everything up, we forgot to mention that.”

“Oh yeah,” Emma says. “Her mom came when she heard what we were doing in the gym because we never got PTA approval-“

“So she was mad,” Alyssa butts in.

“Very mad,” Emma chuckles. “But you came with her and told her to stop talking, which was both hilarious and terrifying. And then you told me you loved me in front of everyone. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.”

“Me either,” Alyssa says quietly.

“Aww,” Cady says, even though she’s heard the whole story before. It’s always a good one to repeat. “How sweet.”

“So after that whole thing we finished setting everything up,” Emma continues, smiling at her girlfriend. “And it was beautiful, even I was impressed.”

“You looked so happy when everyone started showing up,” Alyssa says fondly. “I was so proud of you. I still am. You gave so many people an incredible night they wouldn’t have had without you.”

Emma flushes slightly and looks down at her lap. Alyssa squishes her cheeks in her hand to get her to look back up.

“It really was an incredible night,” she says. “And we finally got to dance together, I think that was my favorite part.”

“That was good,” Alyssa nods. “But you’re a terrible dancer.”

“Hey! Just because I didn’t take dance classes for years,” Emma pouts.

“Oh, hush, I’m joking,” Alyssa says, kissing Emma’s cheek.

“You missed,” Emma continues pouting. Alyssa frowns in confusion and kisses her cheek again, but in a different spot. “You missed.”

Alyssa gives her a chaste kiss on the lips this time, and Emma finally smiles. Alyssa rolls her eyes lovingly. “You’re such a dork, goodness gracious.”

“You guys are almost as cute as Caddy and Janis,” Damian says, trying to snap them out of it and get them to remember the presence of the group.

“Almost?” Alyssa says, her competitive side making a slight appearance. “I think you’re biased.”

“Oh, definitely,” Damian agrees. “We don’t really have any unbiased judges though.”

“True. We’ll say it’s a truce for now,” Alyssa says. “Are we all done? I need to get up for a bit. I’m stuffed.”

“I think so,” Cady says, looking around at all the empty plates around. “We could go to the beach for the sunset, if you guys want. It’s not too far a drive.”

“Ooh, yes please,” Emma says excitedly. The adults play rock paper scissors to work out payment, and Dee Dee grumbles under her breath when she loses.

“Hungry kids. Why are pancakes so expensive?”

————-

“Oh, guys, look!” Damian says, pointing to a window of a thrift shop nearby. “We could go try on dresses!”

“We?” Janis chuckles, carrying Cady on her back. “You gonna get into a ballgown, D?”

“Why not?” Damian asks. “I have the figure for it, shut up.”

“I thought we were going to the beach,” Angie says.

“We can do both,” Barry says, seeming strangely excited. “Wear dresses to the beach.”

“Yeah, yeah!” Cady says eagerly, squeezing her legs together a bit to get Janis to go in, as if she’s riding a pony. “Please?”

“I am not paying,” Dee Dee says immediately. Everyone else nods, that’s only fair.

“Fine, fine. Come along,” Trent says, leading them into the shop as their gaggle of children follow like ducklings.

—-

The employees look a bit concerned as all nine of them parade to the discounted gown section and start looking for ones in their sizes. Damian finds his first, a royal purple gown with a high neck and a slit that would reach about to his knee. He takes it off the rack and heads over to the changing room, rapidly followed by Barry with his silver gown.

“How did-“ Emma stutters. “I guess they knew what they were looking for.”

Angie helps Trent find one that would fit him, an emerald green dress with long sleeves and a nice v-neck collar. He shrugs and follows Barry and Damian. Angie then moves on to find one of her own, and picks out a sleek black dress made of lace and with a shorter skirt, about to the knee. Dee Dee follows with one she seems to have grabbed at random, a nice yellow gown complete with a cape.

Alyssa picks a pink dress with a longer train, since she wore a short dress to both of her real proms and wants to experiment a little. Cady picks a yellow one, with longer sleeves and a bow in the back. The skirt is short, which makes her a little nervous, but she decides to give it a go.

Janis and Emma both look a bit lost, staring aimlessly at the racks and flicking through them weakly.

“Jayjay, try this one,” Cady says, offering a long, red, short-sleeved gown that looks like it would have a rather tight fit. Maybe Cady has some selfish motivations here, but she’ll never admit it. Janis raises a slightly suspicious eyebrow, but takes the dress and hauls her girlfriend off to the changing rooms.

“They all look so itchy,” Emma shudders slightly. Alyssa laughs and takes one of her hands.

“If you got one made of something like this it wouldn’t be too bad,” she says, showing Emma one made of an almost satin-like material. “And it’ll only be a couple hours at most. We’re going to the beach, sand is itchy anyway.”

“True,” Emma agrees with a little nod. “I like this one.”

“So try it,” Alyssa chuckles as Emma grabs an amethyst colored ballgown with a big poofy skirt. “Come on.”

Most of their group is waiting outside the rooms, clad in their ill fitting gowns. Trent’s is a bit too big, Barry’s is missing some sequins, and Angie’s has a small hole in the sleeve, but none of them complain.

Cady and Janis open the curtains to their respective rooms, revealing their dresses to one another. Janis is somehow not tall enough to fill her dress out, which makes her look a bit like Morticia Addams, but she doesn’t mind. Cady’s is almost perfect, but the skirt clings to her legs in an odd way.

“You look nice!” Cady says, gently adjusting Janis’ sleeve as Janis tugs at her collar.

“It’s a bit tight,” Janis says, sounding rather choked.

“I can fix that once we buy it,” Barry says, looking at himself in the mirror. Everyone looks at him in concern. “What? I have a stitch kit, I’ll just cut the collar off it.”

“Oh,” everyone says. Alyssa and Emma exit the changing rooms then, prompting coos from everyone.

“Emmy, you look beautiful!” Alyssa says, pulling her girlfriend into a hug. “The color really suits you.”

“Does it?” Emma says, sarcastically striking a pose. “It feels very… purple.”

“I like purple,” Alyssa hums, adjusting Emma’s skirt.

“You look really nice,” Emma replies, looking at Alyssa’s long dress. Hers is the closest to fitting correctly out of everyone’s.

“Thanks!” Alyssa says, putting her hands on her hips and popping out a knee. Emma laughs and kisses her gently.

“Okay, let’s go!” Angie says happily, having been taking pictures of everyone like a proud mom taking photos for her Facebook. Angie, Trent, and Barry split the cost among them, and they unleash their prom-ready selves onto the public.

—————-

“So you guys just graduated, right?” Alyssa asks, strolling down the shore holding hands with Emma. Cady and Janis are also hand in hand walking next to them.

“Yep!” Cady chirps.

“So you must’ve just had your senior prom too, what was yours like?”

“It was so fun! Damian took me shopping and I had the most beautiful dress,” Cady replies eagerly. “And Janis had a suit to match and it was… she looked… so hot.”

“Ooh,” Emma teases. “Scandalous.”

“Hey,” Cady says. “I’m allowed to think she’s hot.”

“Fair enough,” Emma shrugs.

“What about you guys, how are you handling your post-prom fame?” Janis jokes.

“Pretty well,” Emma chuckles. “Or at least I think we are.”

“You certainly are,” Alyssa murmurs.

“Oh yeah, aren’t you starting a nonprofit or something?” Cady asks.

“Wait, what?” Janis asks.

“I’m trying,” Emma laughs again. “Lyss’ mom is actually helping me. And trying to start a charity looks, like, super good on college applications, so that’s nice.”

“I thought your mom started this whole fiasco,” Janis says confusedly.

“Oh, she did,” Alyssa confirms. “But she’s cool with the gays now. She had a lot of questions and stuff, and she’s still having to work pretty hard at it. Changing opinions and thought patterns that were instilled in you from

childhood is tough. But she’s trying.”

“Yeah, she came to pride with us this year,” Emma says. “It was cute, she had a rainbow pantsuit and everything.”

“Go mom,” Janis chuckles. “I’m glad she turned things around.”

“Me too,” Alyssa murmurs quietly.

“Me three,” Emma says, squeezing her hand.

“So what’s this charity you’re getting going?” Cady asks.

“It’s called the Unruly Hearts Foundation,” Emma explains. “It’s a nonprofit that takes donations and stuff to throw other inclusive events around the country. Create safe spaces. And we also donate a fair bit to LGBTQ+ shelters and stuff, too.”

“That’s awesome,” Janis says. “I’m broke but I’ll donate a bit once I get my commissions business going.”

“Thanks, Janis,” Emma chuckles. “You know, we could use some branding. A logo, stuff for our website. If you’re interest-“

“Yes,” Janis interrupts. “I’m interested. Please.”

“Groovy,” Emma laughs. “I’ll be in touch, get Cady to give you my number.”

“You say groovy too?!” Damian asks eagerly as he makes an appearance. “These two always make fun of me for it.”

“Hell yeah I say groovy,” Emma says, giving Damian a fist bump. “Sometimes it’s the only word that fits the vibes, you know?”

“Yes!” Damian says. “See? Emma gets it.”

“I think ‘tits’ is pretty versatile,” Janis says. “You kind of look like Ursula, by the way, Dame.”

“Thanks,” Damian says, swishing his purple skirt around. “I’m gonna take that as a compliment.”

“It was,” Janis huffs. “As if I’d ever insult you.”

“You called me a ‘fucking deplorable kneecap’ on the way here,” Damian retaliates. Emma and Alyssa rode separately and burst out laughing.

“And now I have grown as a person. Developed myself.”

“It was ten minutes ago!”

“And? I’m not the same me I was two minutes ago, let alone ten,” Janis defends.

“Thank god,” Damian grumbles jokingly.

“Hey!” Janis says, breaking away from Cady and running after him. Damian shrieks and holds up his skirts to run away.

“Do we need to intervene here, Cades?” Emma asks with a slight chuckle as Damian and Janis sprint up and down the shoreline in a sort of oval.

“Nah,” Cady shrugs. “They do stuff like this about once a week. Janis knows she needs him, she won’t actually do anything.”

Just as she says that, Damian takes a hard left and runs full tilt into the lake. Janis pauses for a second before shrugging and running after him.

“Or maybe she will.”

“That water must be cold,” Alyssa chuckles in concern.

“Let’s find out!” Emma says boldly, tightening her grip on Alyssa’s hand and running them towards the water as well. Alyssa shrieks as they leap into the lake with a splash. Cady realizes she’s alone and also runs in, managing a cannonball into the water.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Barry yells, walking up on a sort of puddle of teenagers in soaking wet dresses.

“They’re being kids, let them live,” Dee Dee says. “Unrelated, can you swim?”

“Yeah, wh- don’t you dare,” Barry says, turning to face her.

“Oh, I would never,” Dee Dee says, aghast at the mere suggestion. Trent then comes sprinting up and tackles Barry into the lake. “But he would.”

Angie cackles and high fives her. Dee Dee crosses her arms over her chest and smiles down as Barry pops back up with a splutter.

“Dee Dee Allen!” Barry demands. “Get your ass in here.”

“No, I don’t think I will, thank you,” Dee Dee says casually, rocking slightly on the balls of her feet.

“Oh come on,” Angie coaxes. “It’s only fair.”

“I didn’t push him!”

“You had a role.”

Dee Dee ponders this for a moment before she begrudgingly reaches to take Angie’s hand, and they leap in together.

“Yay!” Emma cheers, delighted that all her friends made it into the lake one way or another. Some of them are significantly less happy about this, but everyone is laughing eventually.

“Hey, Caddy,” Janis says. She swims over to her girlfriend and kisses her gently, before booping her nose. “Tag. You’re it.”

Cady laughs as Janis swims away as fast as she can, rapidly followed by the rest of the group. Cady swims around for a second while she ponders her options to decide who to go after. Emma is a strong swimmer, being on her high school swim team and all. Alyssa is okay, but a bit weaker.

Barry seems to be the slowest, and gives her the best chance of success. He looks very anxious as Cady stares him down before lunging for him. He shrieks as Cady manages to snag his skirt and tap his arm under the water before she backstrokes away.

“Damn it,” he puffs. “I’m having elementary school flashbacks.”

“Better than middle school flashbacks,” Angie calls.

“Amen,” Janis says. She screams as Barry goes for her and swims away, huddling behind Damian for protection.

“Hey!” Damian whines, swimming away from her and creating a sort of three-way chase. Janis quickly gives up on Damian’s protection and swims to Cady instead.

“Protect me,” she pleads. Cady smiles as Janis hides behind her, peeking over her shoulder to check where the threat is.

“You’re so cute.”

“No I’m not,” Janis pouts. “I’m being stealthy.”

“Uhhuh,” Cady says as Janis clings to her like a precious little octopus. “If you get me tagged again I’m breaking up with you.”

“That’s fair,” Janis agrees with a shrug. Alyssa suddenly gives a shriek as Barry taps her leg under the water. “Uh oh.”

————-

After an hour or so of tag, the sun begins to set for the day. The water temperature plummets and everyone swims to shore to watch the sky be painted beautiful shades of pink and orange and purple. The adults and Damian head back to the car to go hunt for towels and dry clothes somewhere.

But Cady, Janis, Emma and Alyssa stay behind, deciding they don’t mind so much if they’re in heavy, cold dresses and getting covered in itchy sand. Cady holds Janis on her lap and Alyssa has Emma in hers, all of them staring out over the expanse of the water before them together.

“You guys should visit more often,” Cady says quietly as the first stars begin to make an appearance.

“Absolutely,” Alyssa says, looking down at her girlfriend. “This was an awesome day.”

“And we’ll have more,” Emma says.

Together.

—-

thank you so much for reading! hope you enjoyed!

lots of love,

ezzy

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robynsri · 3 years ago

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ooc: hi pals! my name is megan, i use she/her pronouns and live in est, and i’m playing robyn. for disclosure purposes i am white.

anyway here are some of the basics for robyn!!

skeleton: the alibi name: robyn srinivas age: twenty six gender: cis woman occupation: online psychic medium

see below for most of the answers to the app & wanted connections

wanted connections: a cousin in the 15 (geraldine is tamil indian & white, so cousins must be either at least half tamil or half white), a role model from the 15 who does not give a shit about her even though they might pretend to (or might not tbh), a crush or someone who had a crush on her during high school

what was your character like eight years ago?

Robyn has always been bitter.

She’s an only child in a large family; literally she’s the only only child of all of her cousins. Her parents figured she was enough trouble to deal with, why add in more? Despite being surrounded by people she’s always felt lonely. Hell, constantly having people around may have been part of the reason she felt so lonely.

Considered an outsider by pretty much everyone, Robyn was never going to be prom queen, class president, or even valedictorian. She skated by with great (but not good enough to be in the top % of her class) grades, minimal after school activities, and a job at the movie theater she got as soon as she turned 16.

Despite having so many feelings inside her, this loneliness and rage and bitterness toward her peers, there was always an emptiness. At the end of the day she could simply turn off her feelings. It wasn’t (and isn’t) the healthiest way to cope, but it was something that comforted her. The pain of being an outsider was never too heavy to suppress.

How, if at all, have they changed in those eight years?

Robyn is nearly unrecognizable. Her personal style went from “whatever’s clean” to a curated wardrobe. While she was laid-back and carefree when she was younger, she’s now learned what it takes to get (and keep) people’s attention. Instead of riding her bike or taking her skateboard everywhere, she’s invested in a little car of her own.

Her glow up wasn’t a direct response to the tragedy, but it sure was helped by it. Once she finally became a part of the group (which she slowly learned was in name only) she felt important, and she started molding herself to fit the standard the others had set. It seems, however, she’ll never measure up. When everyone went their own ways, she had to learn to find confidence on her own, and putting on these new clothes felt like the first step. Now it’s all a fun little facade she puts on - and it was working.

The first few years of parties and events were fun, but they ring hollow now that it’s been nearly a decade. The awkward introductions, lies about “oh, we were friends in high school-” and photos with fake smiles posted on socials. It’s not suspicious to anyone that none of their throwback pics feature her, but she’s somehow part of their cherished history.

Now that everyone’s back, she’s reminded of just how small she felt around her Marli and their friends. It’s more apparent now than ever that she was only seen as their alibi, a piece of the puzzle to keep them all safe.

Additional Info:

My concept of how she became the alibi: She was working at the movie theater that night; after the murder, the gang all scrambled for cover at the theater where they were panicking over what they’d done. Desperate for their approval, she fished out movie tickets from the trash and handed them to everyone. They were at the movies all night, together, and she saw them. She ripped their tickets. They couldn’t have done anything, right? Because she saw them. No one had to convince her to help out. In fact, she’d offered. Especially when she saw the panic in Mars’s eyes. Family first, right?

#sierraintro

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bisluthq · 4 years ago

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Kaylor Rises?

We’ll never know the mechanics or reasons for Joshlie going on a break (or even if they just decided to be more casual for a bit). Maybe it was Taylor related, maybe it was all the stuff with his family, maybe it was the spectre of differing religions, maybe it was the age gap, maybe he started to agree that a ‘lingerie model’ was unsuitable in the long run… But one fact we do know, from investigative journalism done on the Kushners and also from looking at contemporaneous gossip blogs is: Joshlie have taken breaks. We don’t know exactly exactly how many, or why. But we know that they did. Again, this is one of the biggest pieces of ‘evidence’ that they’re real because why bother faking problems and breaks? Why not present yourselves as head-over-heels? It doesn’t make sense, but it’s what happened. And it also opens the door to some romantic!Kaylor. And in March 2014, Josh disappears from the picture and Taylor is suddenly a massive presence - way beyond the fun, highkey promotion we saw up till now.

1 March 2014 - We see Kaylor both attend a Pre-Oscar Party. I think a Joshlie break was what led Karlie to go to LA and stay with Taylor. At this stage, they’d known each other publicly for about five months but, if we factor in possible negotiations, they might have known each other for much longer. I really do think they were good friends by this stage, because Taylor is a terrible actress and they clearly really enjoyed each other’s company. It was as good a place as any for Karlie to go and lick wounds.

2 March 2014 - Kaylor attend the Vanity Fair Oscar Party and the Vogue profile talks about this being where they connected and decided to do the road trip: “A few months later they saw each other again at an Oscars after-party, and Kloss suggested they do something spontaneous. “I’d been to Big Sur once before, and I was like, ‘We should just do it,’ ” says Swift.” I suspect this story is a bit of a lie - but I do think it is true that they hooked up around this time, and decided to take a road trip to Big Sur. Taylor had been there once before, with Jake Gyllenhaal. Karlie had never been. It’s interesting that for Taylor it was already a “romantic” place, at the very least publicly, and it’s where she decided to go with Karlie at this point.

Also, in terms of the “lie” factor - they’re saying this is where they reconnected but they were partying together the literal night before. So they’re obviously blurring reality a bit in the interview. Which is okay, maybe they misremembered or misspoke. But when factored into a pattern, it seems an odd thing to get confused about.

The road trip itself is ICONIC. Taylor allegedly plays Karlie the whole of 1989. They take a million gorgeous photos. The daisy thing happens.

5 March 2014 - Karlie posts the ‘Karlie loves Taylor’ sand pic. Taylor likes.

5 March 2014 - Karlie posts the ‘best road trip ever’ daisy pic.

5 March 2014 - Karlie posts the ‘adventure of a lifetime with my girl’ cheek kiss selfie.

5 March 2014 - Karlie posts a pic of her and Taylor with the caption, ‘woah, what a view huh?’

5 March 2014 - Karlie posts the pic of her hugging Taylor from behind.

5 March 2014 - Karlie posts a picture of herself apparently taken by Taylor.

5 March 2014 - Karlie posts a picture of her and Taylor jumping with the caption ‘❤️’

5 March 2014 - Taylor posts a picture of them and captions it ‘On the Way Home’ - possibly a reference to YAIL.

When they return, things still seem very, very good in Kaylor Land.

12 March 2014 - Karlie attends the Art Production Fund’s White Glove Gala without Josh.

24 March 2014 - Taylor diaries that she’s moved into her Tribeca apartment in the “last few weeks” which means they are in the same city and that, when Karlie was in LA, Tay was still permanently based there.

1 April 2014 - Karlie attends The New Museum annual Spring Gala without Josh.

1 April 2014 - Josh attends a New York Observer event without Karlie. His family is out in full force - again, this is their family business. It’s actually really odd that he is there on his own. Oh, and by the way - Mikey Hess isn’t there either lmao.

3 April 2014 - Kaylor go to the gym and then out for lunch at the Butcher’s Daughter (which, for the record, is very close to Josh’s apartment but since he and Karlie have not interacted publicly in well over a month that seems irrelevant). They are papped continuously on both halves of the date.

14 April 2014 - Kaylor are papped in NYC.

21 April 2014 - Taylor is papped with Cara and the articles that follow are all about “gal pals”. I do not think Cara and Taylor were together at this point but it’s vital to see the rollout of the “Girl Squad” PR strategy. It was not just about Karlie. Karlie was meant to be the ‘main’ Squad girl, but there were others.

26 April 2014 - Kaylor are papped in NYC

2 May 2014 - Karlie brings Derek as her +1 to the memorial service for L’Wren Scott.

4 May 2014 - Karlie posts a photo of herself with Taylor and Kate Bosworth at The Jane Hotel for Harry Josh’s party.

5 May 2014 - Kaylor get ready together and then attend the Met together. Josh is also there with his brother and Ivanka. Kaylor interact with the Kushners because this photo gets taken. We also get this pic (peep Tay’s dress in the background). Karlie sits at a table with Josh, and Taylor sits very, very far away. (Here is a pic of them seated). Now, it’s possible the tickets were booked and the seating arrangements made well before Joshlie went on a break. Or it’s possible going there was just a stunt and Karlie and Josh were very much together.

If Josh was a beard contract, this would’ve been reversed. Karlie would have showed up and walked the red carpet with Josh and sat with Taylor once inside. Instead, Karlie was papped with Taylor on the outside, and sat in the cheap seats with Josh, on the other side of the room from Taylor, once inside. If Josh and Karlie both needed a beard, why would they allow Karlie to show up and walk the red carpet with her girlfriend when they both attended the event?

And here’s what’s interesting: Taylor references this evening extensively at the end of the Wildest Dreams MV. She closely replicates the outfits - Karlie’s, Josh’s and her own - and casts herself as the “other woman”. It’s a telling video because that twist in the end is not necessary for the song to make sense (at all), Tay’s character is hurt and surprised by the MV love interest having a partner, and in the end the love interest’s feelings seem genuine as he runs after her - but she’s already gone. It’s a pretty loud scene in all and I’m not sure how else to interpret it, really. It’s also interesting that Tay’s character in the video falls in love with her ‘onscreen’ partner - kind of how Kaylor probably started as somewhat scripted ‘Famous Friends’ but possibly grew feelings.

Taylor also references this evening in LWYMMD when a 2014 Met Taylor appears several times. A zombie Taylor wearing the dress she wore in the OOTW MV buries a Taylor wearing this 2014 Met Gala dress and later she appears again. Considering all the other “Taylors” are extremely iconic (for example Kanye interrupting dress), I’m not sure why 2014 Met Gala Tay is here. It’s not the best example of one of her princess dresses… It’s not indicative of an ‘era’...

Unless the evening was important to Taylor herself, and the most logical reason for that would be Joshlie. It seems that this was the night that Tay, like her character in the MV, found herself cast in the unfortunate role of “other woman” - a part she would have struggled with ever since. So, with that in mind, here are some photos of Kaylor from that night where Taylor looks miserable: x x x

12 May 2014 - Karlie attends the American Ballet Theatre Opening Night Spring Gala alone.

15 May 2014 - An article with People comes out where Taylor makes getting ready with Karlie sound like a fun pre-prom time, proving the earlier point that them showing up together was part of their PR relationship.

Early May 2014 - Kaylor go for dinner at Toni Garrn’s, further debunking Korlie rumors.

22 May 2014 - Karlie attends amfAR’s 21st Cinema Against AIDS Gala alone.

CONCLUSION: From late February/early March it seemed as though Kaylor were together and possibly exclusive or at least getting somewhat serious. However, in early May Josh and Karlie reconnected around the time of the Met Gala - that’s what the Wildest Dreams MV seems to suggest at least. The fact that they interacted and sat together despite not apparently going ‘together’ is very loud.

However, Joshlie were not fully back together at this Met Gala stage. I believe they reunited proper only at the end of May, at which point the Kaylor dynamic shifted gears.

However… the contract for the publicity deal was still in place and they had to carry on carrying on. It’s telling that their respective close friends didn’t exactly warm up to one another - their personal friend groups never really meshed. This contradicts the het narrative of them being just extremely great friends. If they really were, why wouldn’t they be hanging out with each other’s main people (in very simple terms, people like Derek and Abigail)? And before you @me, a few likes are not great evidence of hangouts - Josh also liked a bunch of Tay’s posts, and it’s pretty clear they were never friends.

More likely, Karlie and Taylor hooked up… And, of course, Karlie was an important part of this era’s publicity rollout. And that’s where things got messy.

#Kaylor #gaylor swift #Swiftgron #tayliz

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wychive · 4 years ago

Text

𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨

summary // you found your pile of ‘letters’ to hyunjin that contain thoughts that have never been said and decided to write to him one last time.

pairing(s) // hyunjin x gn!reader, hyunjin x oc, slight minho x reader

genre(s) // angst, letter fic

warning(s) // mentions of food, themes of being forgotten, vulgar wording, humiliation, overthinking

word count // 2.0k

author's note // happy birthday @noya-sannnn !! im sorry this was so late hhh you know how i am irl,, but i hope you enjoy this! i love you so much, jane <3 i apologize for the many grammar mistakes gn. i recommend listening to iu’s ending scene while reading this! btw y/n/n means your nickname.

[10/01/14, 3:55am]

dear jinnie,

hi there! it's y/n <3 i hope you're doing okay - i mean of course you are pfft anyways, just writing this short letter (more like paragraph) sort of as a venting mechanism? for things i cant tell you about lol im not so sure how you would call it, since you're so much better at words than i am. basically were like:

hyunjin: ow a brain freeze!

me: haha brain go brrrr

anyways haha yea <3 it's 4am so like,, ill see you at school!

signed,

your loser,

y/n/n

[15/02/14, 12:34am]

yo heartthrob!

im back with this kinda stuff haha it's been a whole? week? since ive written one of these so like yes..hi! i just wanted to say thanks, for today. you really know how to cheer me up huh? you really outdid yourself by setting up that little picnic for us. congrats on making the strawberry cake so perfectly <3 this day will always stay as a core memory in the back of my brain. you're too caring sometimes,,, istg you'll pay for this [maybe hugs?] >:)

signed,

your partner in crime,

y/n/n

[30/02/15, 01:29am]

jinnie-senpai~~

LMAO you hate me calling you that, doesn't change a thing though. hehe,, nways i hope you enjoyed your birthday present :) i got you that really cool skateboard that you wanted. i worked my ass off for that in my mother's garden so like,, you gotta thank me for that a thousand times :D nah jk, its a sincere gift, from me to you. i rarely do this for ANYONE so consider yourself lucky to have a best friend like me -3- also, seungmin is like….kinda the cutest person ever. introduce me to him pls, thank!

signed,

<your bestest friend3,

y/n

(p.s. you're kinda cute too,,,, ig,,, still stinkee tho)

[13/04/15, 9:04pm]

hey 'baby' (HAHAHA ihy for this)

i hope your day was okay! i didn't see much of you today (which was sort of a bummer but wtv) so like…. uh yea. you told me you were doing okay over text, which kinda surprised me because like?? we always video call lol this is kinda the first time,, but its okay, i trust you! (i really hope youre doing alright tho, i'll beat anyone up if they make you sad >:( ) you also called me 'sweetheart' today which was like…. omg wtf haha????????? that was so weird to me for some reason… a good kind of weird :D we haven't done those kinds of nicknames in a while so…. happy to know that they're back in session <3 i talked to the new girl today, she's really cool! like she knows the bean song on tiktok so like its a total win heh, ill introduce you to her tomorrow! you'll love her a lot

signed,

your 'lover',

y/n/n

[08/06/16, 10:23pm]

hey howl (hehe go back to that movie night we had)

this spring break sucks so much,, esp because youre not here (you still couldve brought me along :'[ ) but wtv i hope youre enjoying yourself. ive been hanging out with yeonnie lately and i found out she likes conan grey too like pls i love her sm. can we adopt her?? please???? she told me you guys have been video calling too and that makes me so happy!! you two are getting along so well aaa my precious babies </3

what if you developed a crush on her? haha…..jk unless?? (no jk dont shes all mine, stay away >:) ) anyways, i hope the three of us hang out soon. maybe go to that ice cream parlour where they serve the best cookies and cream?

signed,

your daisy,

y/n/n

[19/07/15, 01:23am]

peepee poopoo hello

heyheyhey!! (heh, haikyuu thingz) i hope youre doing okay! i mean sure you are, with everything going so well. also i feel like you're not telling me something. maybe it's just me? is it? i hope it is because you tell me everything,, we've been talking less these days but its okay! i know how busy you are, especially with your dad always bugging you,,

also, i think yeonbin likes you :0,, she keeps talking about you whenever we hang out. don't get me wrong, its not bad that she likes you but...something doesn't feel right. i feel like i'm being the third wheeler here and like ugh idk. haha laughs yea i think its just me.. im sorry, i didnt mean to do you like this,, anyways, ill see you soon + her too ofc- yall are inseparable lmao

signed,

your moonlight,

y/n/n

[23/07/15, 01:56am]

greetings, kind sir

lol more like mean sir but like aight KSKSK,, anyways,, how have you been? we haven't really talked in a while,, our convos are always so short with it being one-sided :/ i wish you were online more. yeonnie is ignoring me,, do you know why? i think you do,,, but when i asked you just said you didnt know. did i do something wrong? pls tell me..

she blocked my contact the other day and she won't even smile at me when i pass her in the hallways. its,, sad and stressful especially because she was the only one that would genuinely talk to me. i hate to say this,, but i miss you. us, hanging out like the best trio we are, yknow? but i dont think you miss me the same way. sorry, im getting out of hand. i know im just overreacting. im just gonna sleep ig,, good night! sweet dreams,,

signed,

your pink lemonade,

y/n/n

[25/07/15, 03:25am]

hi there

i heard you and her got together?? congrats, jinnie! im so proud of you,, especially because you never had even considered getting a girlfriend a few months earlier lmaO you really woo the ladies huh? anyways,, i hope you've been well since we last talked,, how many days has it been?? i would say nearly a week or so but honestly it feels like a hundred years,, considering you and i used to talk every day. but you have her now to keep you company.

keep this a secret but can you possibly tell me why it hurts when i see her? or when i mention her or even think of her?? is it because she's connected to you? but.. you're my best friend, so why? is it because i miss you? is it because im alone now? is it because you left me with a simple 'i have to go now,, bye y/n/n.'? im not sure either. im being silly, i apologize. ill figure it out sooner or later. sweet dreams, jinnie

signed,

your asswipe,

y/n

[25/07/15, 04:30am]

jinnie

it's because i love you.

signed,

your butterfly,

y/n

[??/08/??, 05:??am]

you

i miss your lame jokes. i miss your smile. i miss your laughs. i miss your funny faces. i miss the way your eyes twinkle. i miss th way you would make me happy just by doing the bare minimum. i miss the disaster you made when cooking breakfast. i miss the night when you snuck me out just to go to that pretty lantern event. i miss when you would call out my name everytime we met. i miss when we would share earbuds in train rides. dont you get it, hyunjin? i miss you.

[??/??/15, ??:??am]

asshole.

please tell me that isn't true, please. you're too kind to do these kinds of things, right? + i was your best friend,, then, why, why did you hurt me like this. i didnt do anything wrong.. you couldve just told me you didnt like me,,, why did she have to tell me? out of all people.

youre so pathetic for this,, i thought you were brave, bold - but youre just a fucking coward. i loved you, i really did. and i realised too late… im sorry. she,, i shouldn't have talked to her in the first place, right? i bet you knew she humiliated me, in front of everyone. of course you did, you were the only one that knew. you told her. fuck, i hate you so much (yet why do i long for you on a night like this?). you know how much that'll affect me and yet, there you are, laughing about it with her.

signed,

fuck off,

you know who i am.

[31/08/15, 03:41am]

ah, jinnie

please tell me this is just a nightmare. please, please. stop just reading my texts, please answer them. jinnie. i miss you so much. i dont care bout her, please just let me be in your arms. i dont care if you love me back, please just talk to me at least. tell me what i did wrong,, jinnie,, please,,, clear these tear stains on my cheek with kisses.

signed,

your fuck-up,

y/n

[15/09/15, 04:59am]

jinnie

why do i keep crying because of you? its been a few weeks since everything has happened. please, nothing has changed. i still love you the same even with all the hatred i have pent up in this stupid brain of mine. i wish i could just walk back in time, to where it all began.

when i first met you in third grade and you pushed me while playing soccer or maybe when we took those ridiculous prom pictures, remember those? i hope you still have them,, because i do too. i hope the pictures of us on your wall still hang there,, it'll remind you of the happy times. hm,, maybe you don't need them.

you already have millions of pictures with you and her,, i bet you printed some and replaced those with ours right? sly dog.

signed,

friend,

y/n/n

[04/02/16, 12:57am]

hey

i went to the park today and saw both of you being happy. it's nice to see your smile again. im sorry i didnt go up to you,, i just thought it would be awkward. when i heard that adorable laugh of yours, it made me realise that i lost something special. but it's okay isnt it? as your happiness matters more than mine.

signed,

y/n

[06/01/20, 08:00pm]

dear hyunjin,

im doing fine here. how about you? gosh,, how long has it been? years? since we last talked to each other. i havent heard from you since. i would just like to say i still think of you sometimes, when watering the plants or dancing while making pancakes. sometimes i think you're here with me too, just being the pals we were.

sometimes i'd see you out, just reading a book in the park or buying pasta sauce at the grocery store. it's nice to see you having a stable life. im not sure if you're still with her or not, but its good to know that you still have that large friend group. also! you're never gonna guess who im dating--

it's minho! do you remember him? the one that i used to hate,, uh yeah. he asked me out the other day- you may wonder how tf,,, i too do not know how tf but he gives the best hugs ever. he gave me the love i wanted from you. he stitched my heart back together after it broke,, i love him so much, jinnie..

it's snowing,, do you remember when we would skate on the frozen lake in front of your house? are your parents well? i wonder if your mother still has those earrings i bought for her birthday. i never told you this but your laugh and hers sound so similar.

i would just like to say thank you, for everything. you were a big part of my life, up until now. when we see each other after this, we would just be strangers. maybe flash a little smile or give a little wave whenever we greet each other but nothing more. some memories of us would flow in every now and then but it'll just be a short teaser. well, i'll be going now. smile for me, okay?

signed,

the one that loved you the most,

y/n.

taglist // @/noya-sannnn, @crvgio , @neo-shitty

reply to be in my gen taglist!

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freigeistundanderes · 4 years ago

Text

Bucky Barnes Valentine exchange Story

Hey, now we can finally say, which author was out secret Santa. I got @fandomsandxfiles-writes and she wanted to have a 40`s Bucky - enemies to lovers story. So I hope I somehow hit the challenged and you like it :) I say sorry in advance, since this is my second English written story ever. Have fun while reading it! Pairings: 40´s Bucky x Reader

Word count: 26.368

World War II dominated daily life. Many young men already went there to fight at the front lines, and the other few were still at home, waiting for the order to go. School isn't what it was before. Many boys didn't even finish school and went directly to the base training as soldiers. And soon, the classrooms were empty and only filled with girls. You can imagine how sad the Prom looked like, a room just filled with old teachers and girls with slow music in the background and nobody to dance with. Steve went with you to the Prom just because he failed every medical and physical exam to join the Army.

Bucky was still around, somehow, but he spent most of his time with the base training, and when he wasn't training with the Army, he did for himself. He wanted to be a good soldier, and he tried to protect his country. Basically, a good character trait if it wasn't so stupid at the same time. When he got better in his training, they will send him away sooner and sooner. You didn't care as much, but Steve did. Even tho they both have been friends for a long, long time, they were boys at the end of the day. That means, when one got better in material things, the other got minor complexes. And to help Steve get his wish granted, you started to fill out the Army's application form for him. It was the 4th time you two tried, and of course, he didn't get accepted. The thing was, even when the application form was perfect, it was still Steve. Little, lanky, wimpy Steve, and nobody would take him. You promised to help him, but to be honest? There wasn't a big chance that he would be accepted in the Army, and honestly, you didn't want him to go there. He would be dead in seconds since he could not hold a rifle long enough to actually shoot someone.

Today Steve tried to get into the Army again. You filled out the application and waited outside of the building. You got yourself a bench near the entrance, so when Steve walked outside, he could see you. While you waited for Steve to return with a rejection, you pulled out a letter yourself. You got him a week ago. You tell yourself you didn't have time to open it, but the truth is, you were too scared to open it. One of these official letters from the Army was with the lovely white envelope and the American flag. Your Family name in big black letters on the front and an official stamp over the upper right corner. You carried this thing with you for a week, and it looked like that—bends, wrinkles, and folds all over it. Actually, you know what was in that thing. You know exactly what the letters on the paper inside the envelope. It would probably start like My sincere condolences to tell you… It would sound like he was a good fighter, a good soldier in the middle part. He saved many lives throughout his days in service… and the end would be finished with an excellent old: I am sorry about your loss. Usually, you got a letter from her Father, every week, when he was away in War. For one week, however, you got nothing. Instead of an informal letter from her father, you got this official thing from the Army. You didn't have to be a genius to put together the facts. Your father was dead, fallen in service to protect this country against Nazi's. That was what this letter was about. So no, she didn't have to open the letter to know what was inside of it. Your father died, and now she was alone in this world. She didn't have a mother anymore or siblings.

"An official letter from the Army? Why you got that?" Steve was back and looked over your head down to the letter you held in your hands. "My father," you fold the letter and put it in your pocket again before you looked at Steve. He understands your glace and shook his head and showed you the rejection paper. "You know, when they catch you, you will be in trouble?" "I know, but I think they just don't care" he also put the paperback in his pocket and looked around for a few seconds to took a deep breath. "So what are you planning to do?" you asked him, but he just shrugged his shoulders. "For today? I will meet you later with Bucky. He invited me for another double date" "He will never give up, right?" "Probably not, no. He don’t want me to feel excluded" "Excluded from what? Girls?" "Joie de vivre, I guess" "Does he noticed that he doesn't make it better with the double dates?" "I don't think so" Steve smiled and shook his head. "He isn't the smartest" "I know," you smiled too and stood up from the bench. You looked around a while. Trying to figure out what you want to do next when you saw a poster. It said it would be some kind of new-age science exhibition. "What are you gonna do? For the rest of the day?" "I am going there" you nodded your head in the direction of the poster. "Sounds….. interesting" Steve wasn't thrilled about it. He wasn't too much into technology. "Will you tell me one day what was in that letter?" he started another attempt to talk about the thing you had in your pocket. "It's from the Army, and it's about my Father. I didn't open it now" you shrugged your shoulders and took a step back. "Anyway. See you soon, pal" "Yes. See you soon!"

So you were about to go home, and if you liked it or not, you had to read that letter and see what will happen next. Without your Father, you didn't have an income and you didn't decide what you wanted to do just now. Your Father wanted you to start a Study at a University and creating a great career as a professor somewhere and that the War would be over just then. Was it what you wanted? You weren't certain. Sure, being a Professor at some university would guarantee you significant money and a peaceful future. But to be honest, that wasn't you. Yes, you liked reading but being locked up in an office for the rest of your days wasn't quite your style. And finding a well-paid job as a woman was hard and nearly impossible. Maybe you should try to join the Army too? Just because your Father seemed to be so happy in the Army and you somehow had the feeling that it would be exactly right for you. But on the other hand, you couldn't leave Steve behind. He would never be accepted in the Army. It was bad enough for him that Bucky was taken, but if you apply for it and git accepted too, that would mentally destroy him. He felt useless most of his life, even tho he wasn't. Anyway…. You should start thinking about your future in more detail, now your Father died.

When you arrived home, you noticed that the front door of your house was open. You never leave that door open, so someone must have entered your house. Slowly you pushed the door further open, so you could sneak into the front door hallway. You couldn't hear any noises and the lights were out too. If intruders had entered your house, you would have seen chaos along the way or at least some lights on, but nothing. Slowly, light-footed like a cat, you go further into your house. It was a small house, with just one level, so it was pretty lucid. You nearly reached the end of the front door hallway when you heard a few heavy steps behind you and a deep voice talking to you. "You would be dead by now. If I was a burglar," the voice was Smokey, dark, and had that sarcastic tone in it. Very similar to your father's one, and as you turned around, you saw the big man. He was a little bit heavier build, owned to his age, and probably too many steaks with beer. "Uncle Chester," you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest. Visits like this were usual for him. He liked being the mysterious part of the family, or something like that. "What do you want here" "Express my condolences to you. Because of your father" "He was your brother" "You can be sure, I know that. But…. Our relationship wasn't the best in the end. I wanted to check in if you are okay?" "Do I look like a whiny, crying little girl to you?" "No. That's why I am worried about you. Shouldn't you…. Cry?" "He was a Captain. He knows how he would die, and I knew it too. We have War, many people will die" "You are soooo mature, little girl" "Don't call me that" "So…. What are you planning to do next? Without your fathers' money, you need a job! Something in mind?" "no. Not yet" "good! I have a job for you!" he stepped towards you and pulled out a letter from the inside, pocked his official army jackets, and handed it to you. "What kind of job? Nurse? Rubble woman?" "Don't be silly" he pulled his eyebrows together and step aside, and looked at the pictures on the walls. "President Roosevelt himself started a military unit called SSR – Strategic Scientific Reverse. The aim of that is to create a super-soldier army to win the War without losses anymore. That force contains the best minds in the free world-" "I can read," you interrupted his monologue for a second to fly over most of the lines in the letter.

What you couldn't see was that your Uncle slightly smiled. You were precisely like your Father and always a big mouth but down to earth somehow. But – not to mention – you were like your Uncle too. Ever a good slogan on your lips with a sarcastic undertone. When Uncle Chester was more often at home during your early childhood, you had great fun together. He and your Father were a dream team when it came down to raising you since your mother died at birth. That was the primary reason why your summarized the best and worst characteristics of your Father and your Uncle in one person BUT the beautiful physic you had from your mother. She was pretty like an angel, with that soft and lovely scented hair, the open and heartwarming smile, and these beautiful, engaging eyes.

When you were finished with reading, you needed to repeat a few sentences again. It sounded highly impossible and stupid for you, but on the other hand, you wanted to see the outcome. "Why you need me? I am not one of the best minds. I am average" "You are average, when it comes to science, yes. But you are instinctive, a good natural fighter, and have a great sense of strategy. At least, those were the words your Father used to describe you to be the last time I saw him. He was so proud of you, that you are not a whiny little woman, like everybody else. You are strong, and I need Strong soldiers. So…. What you say? Are you in?" – "Yes!" you didn't think about it. It was a clear answer to you. It was not because of what your Father told your Uncle; it was about that little inner voice, telling you, you should go. Like uncle Chester said, you had good instincts, and you used them right now. "You do not want to rethink? Final answer?" "I do not rethink usually. I got my choices right the first time" he knit his eyebrows again and laughed a little bit. "You say that now. Sooner or later, there will be a moment when you have to rethink" – "When do we start?" "Hold your horses! I will contact you, but tonight I want you to meet your head scientists" "Why?" "Because we are looking for a suitable man for the Army, and you know this part of Brooklyn the best" "And how do I find this scientist?" "German looking, small guy, with glasses, head, and a beard. You will find him. Look at it, like it would be your first mission" he grinned at you and was about to leave the house.

In the evening, you were dressed up and ready to go. You dressed a bit more fancy but not too much. It was a plain, dark blue dress in knee-length. Paired with simple black shoes and a small black bag for your porte-monnaie. Nothing spectacular but chic.

It took you around 10 minutes to run into Steve and the annoying attachment when you arrived there. Steve looked bored as hell, too, so he looked around and find you immediately. He waved in your direction, and behind him, the personified idiot – James Buchanan Barnes, friends call him Bucky, but you stayed with James. "Hey, Steve" "Hey!" he smiled at you and stepped aside to introduce the other people. "Cassy and Odette, and you already know Bucky" "Hallo, James" "It's Bucky. Please" "You said, your friends call you Bucky. I am not your friend, so it is appropriate to call you by your Birthname: James" "You are refreshingly nice as usual, Claw" "Don't call me that" – "Make me" he grinned cocky looked her directly in the eyes. His glace got replied with pure and clean aversion with a sour, sarcastic undertone. Claw was the Nickname you got from Steve and Bucky, based on your caustic and harsh kind, sometimes "You really want that?" "Don't get me wrong, little Princess. I believe you when you say you can defend yourself, but I think you need a little more for me than just a good positioned punch" "Bucky!" Steve wanted to prevent his best friend from protentional long term effects of that claim. "James – oh James – you should never underestimate a well-positioned punch" now, she grinned back and looked down for a second to make him understand what she meant. It took him a few seconds until he pulled his eyebrows together and took a step back. "You wouldn't!!" "Wanna bet?" "HEY!" Steve went between the two brawlers. "Never mind. We should go" "Woah, wait-" now it was Bucky who intervene and looked confused at Steve. "You invited her?" "No. We run just into each other" "Well, I would say, 3 Girls, is one girl too much, Buddy" "I guess it will be okay for the rest of the evening. You take these two Ladies, and I take her" "But – Steve-" "We are good with that!" one of the two girls finished the conversation, and then the situation was completed. Steve didn't want this in the first place because he knew the girls Bucky brought are just interested in him. Why not, by the way? He was tall, good looking, and charming - the perfect match for most of the girls. And he had this slightly sinister boy aura around him, even when he was a good guy through and through. At least that was what Steve claims every time you two talked.

The expo was enjoyable, overall, but actually, nothing of that really seeks your attention. Many people around here and you were about to find the German one. The funny thing is, though, that most Germans looked like Americans, so it was nearly impossible to find the right man. When you looked around, a recruitment center catches your eye, and you thought about what your Uncle told you. This German Scientist was about to find new Soldiers for the project. So for him being in that center would make the most sense. "Hey Steve," you put a hand on his shoulder to catch his attention. "I have to go. Get something done" "already?" "You seem to be in delightful company, here" "Funny. Really funny" "Okay, bye, my friend" you see him off before you went to the recruitment center.

When you entered the center, it was full of people. It was different from the other centers you went to before with Steve. In this one, you had a nice, colorful and colossal propaganda part right before the testing area, and it was filled with people. A little bit lost, you looked around and tried to find a man, fitting on the description your Uncle gave you. So many people with a beard and glasses, which one would be the German? You looked around for a few more minutes when a smaller man approached you. "Good evening, Miss. Did you get lost?" he had to be in the age between 40 and 60, had a grayish beard and small round glasses. The way he speaks English suggested to you that this isn't his mother tongue. "No, actually I am looking for someone" "So? Maybe I can help? Who do you looking for?" "An educated man – a scientist! A little bit older with a beard and glasses and German heritage" he smiled slightly and nodded slowly. "That would be me. My name is Dr. Abraham Erskine" he reached out his hand to you, and you did the same. "You must be the niece of Colonel Philips?" "Indeed, yes. He sends me here to find you" "And he told me you would come. Let's go over there and have a little talk?" "I would like that, yes" the Doc led you away from the people into a calmer area of the center.

We entered the testing area for protentional soldiers. The Doctor looked behind one of the curtains to check if someone in there. After that, he thrust aside the whole thing to open it for you to enter.

“So you are Colonel Philips, niece? If I got that right?” “Indeed. His brother was my father” “Was?” “He died a week ago in Service” “I am sorry,” he apologized and looked a bit sad and uncomfortable to step into that huge blunder. “Thanks, but we are not here to talk about my dead father, right?” “Surely. Forgive me; I am a little bit old fashioned. Would you mind having a little talk with me first? I like to know the people I will work with” “Fine,” you shrugged your shoulders and looked for a sitting possibility. You decided to take a lounger and pointed at the chair in front of it, so the Doctor could sit too. “Ask whatever you want” “Whatever I want?” “If I do not want to answer, I will not answer. Feel free to ask anything” You wanted to get it over with. You simply didn’t saw the point of meeting the head scientist of the project since your uncle invites you because of your military talent, not your scientific knowledge. Last but not least, your uncle thought that a little change of air would be good for you. He knew you loved your father, and you are too tough to admit it. There will be a moment when you start to crumble, and the pain will rush over you, and he wanted to have you nearby when it happens. Nobody should be alone while mourning. “Why you entered the SSR?” “My uncle asked. I said yes. Here I am” “No other specific reason?” “No, why? Do I need one? This reason is as good as any other reason people have to serve in War. I think the reason doesn’t matter” “Why? Why does the reason doesn’t matter?” “There is never a good reason to start a war and sacrifice many young lives’. You should protect what you believe in, but it doesn’t have to be in a fight; that should be the last option. That is my opinion, but what do I know? I am just a little girl” he smiled slightly and shook his head softly. “Besides the fact who your uncle is, I can see you are not just a little girl” “How would you know?” “I can see it, your eyes” “My eyes…? I am not into that pathetic stuff” he laughed a bit and nodded. “I can tell you are feisty” “Only on Mondays,” “Today is Monday” “See,” he smiled again. “I like you. I like you a lot. You are refreshingly different, and I like young Ladies who can fight for their ideals” “How do you know I can fight?” “Your uncle told me a few things about you. You a good fighter and have good natural instincts” “Maybe” “Don’t be too modest –“ he stopped short to make a little break before he started talking again. “We already have someone similar to you. She is a Brittan Agent and feisty as well. I guess you two will get along just fine. Her Name is Agent Peggy Carter” “It will be a pleasure to meet her” “I can’t wait to see you two working together, but-“ he harrumphed a little bit and put on a serious face again. “I am here to look for new cadets; unfortunately, most of the young boys are already away. You can suggest someone?” “I don’t know many boys around here” “But you know some!?” “Depending on what are you looking for? The brainless muscle monkeys are already recruited” “’Brainless muscle monkeys’… actually, I am not looking for one of these! Your uncle does, but I want someone with a specific characteristic” “Specific Characteristics-“you were interrupted by a nurse who wanted to talk to the Doctor. She entered the room and reached him a file. You didn’t say everything in the file, but you recognized the photo in it. It was Steve’s. He wanted to try again to enter the Army, and it looks like he got caught with his multiple tries. “I am sorry, I have to do something-“he closed the file and stood up. “He has character” “This one?” he opened the file to read the Name again. “Steven Grant Rogers?” “I don’t know what you are looking for, but he has it. Give him a chance to prove it to you, and he will not disappoint you” the Doc looked at you with a stare glace until he nodded slowly. “would you vouch for him?” “Vouch for him?” “Would you trust him with that enough to confide him your life?” “Yes,” you answered strongly, and there was no doubt in your voice. “So, when a strong and independent girl like you would trust him, I should give him that try to prove me,” then he left the little room. Seemed like that you and Steve would enter the same Unit. One reason more to be expectantly about the next few weeks and the little change.

“I am honest, I am death” Steve came up to you and sat next to a dirty box. His equipment was just hanging down from his weak little body. He was in training for about half of a month, and you were sure there was not only one single small part, which didn’t hurt. After he got recruited into the SSR – like you – he immediately started his training to get a better physical change. But besides sore muscles, there wasn’t much of a difference. For your part, you trained with that Agent the Doctor mentioned. Peggy was good in shape and had a piece of excellent knowledge about self-defense and fighting styles. It was a great addition to your own style of fighting. You two trained a lot for the past few weeks and got quick on an equal level of physical strength. Since you were a new recruit – like Steve – you got simple tasks. Peggy trained the other Soldiers while you and your uncle were studying strategic files and everything possible about an organization called Hydra. You also got inaugurated in what the SSR was doing exactly. The Doctor was creating a Serum, and it was going down o deciding which new soldier should get it first. Your task was also to document every soldier’s progress to make it easier to choose. But honestly? You had a few talks with the Doctor itself, and he was pretty impressed with Steve, so you voted for him, and indeed, he was the one. But still, he had to get in a little bit better shape to have a greater chance of surviving the experiment.

Steve was breathing heavily, his head wholly laid back into his neck, as he sat down on the Box. He was initially coming up to you to get some encouraging words from you. And when he didn’t get these, a sarcastic commentary would do it too. He was happy to have a familiar and friendly face around when he joined the Army. He was really great full for you, not at least, because you were closer with Agent Carter and Steve had a thing for her. She was impressive! Intense and intimidating, and she was so confident. She didn’t need to be saved, and that what he appreciated the most on her. She was simply able to take of herself.

After he didn’t get any words from you, he opened one eye and looked up at you. You were standing here, head down and staring down at a letter you hold in your hands. You had a thing with staring down at letters. “Hey! What’s up?” “I god a letter from James” “Bucky? You got a letter from Bucky? Why?” “I don’t know” “An official one or a personal one?” “Personal” she turned the front side of the letter towards Steve, so he could see the bad handwriting. It was a personal letter, addressed at Claw. “he still calls you Claw?” “Guess so…. Why is he writing me a letter?” She looked more confused than ever since he knew her. “I don’t know! What did you do?” “Nothing…. I guess” Steve stood up from the Box and also started to look down on the closed envelope. “You don’t want to open it?” “Should I?” “Otherwise you will never find out what is in there-“ “ROGERS!” from far away, his drill sergeant was calling for him. Exhausted, he gave a loud groan and started running towards the other members of his Unit.

You just stood there and looked down on the envelope for a few moments, when you shook your head, turned around the letter and opened it. It was childish, not to open it and as you knows James, it will be a stupid prank or something like that. You should get over it and return to your tasks after that. Against your expectations, it wasn’t silly pranks or an inappropriate picture of something. It was an actual letter, handwritten in the worst handwriting you ever saw. The first line said: Hallo Claw, and after that, there were many other lines, and even the backside of the paper was written. On the piece, itself were little dirt stains. After a fast-flying over the lines without actually reading them, you turned around the form and saw the last line: See you soon, Bucky. This was more than just strange. It was entirely out of imagination! You sat down on the Box and started to read the letter, from beginning to end, every single word of it, slowly.

It took you a while to read through the whole letter. The handwriting was awful, and you had to guess every fifth word, and you tried to analyze it. To find the mistake in the word choices to uncover this letter as a prank, still. That James paid someone to wrote you a note to evoke the false belief in you, that he might not just hate you. You had plenty of reasons to be suspicious about it. You didn’t realize how long you sat there reading when a heavy breathing Steve returned to the spot where he left you. “I see you opened it ---- what did ---- he ---- wrote?” he pressed out the words between his intense breathing, trying not to collapse in front of you because of exhaustion. “Basically, he said, that he liked our conversation and that he hoped we had that earlier. We had more in common than I would know now, and that he didn’t know how much he would miss female intellectual interaction. And that he started to get more sarcastic and sharp-tongued because of me – Honestly? I didn’t see the meaning behind the letter” you wanted to hand it over to Steve, who just blocked that try. “He wrote the Letter to YOU. It’s yours now” “He probably didn’t write it anyway. One of his Unit buddy’s wrote it for him to confuse me. I strongly believe that!” “You think so? I know that handwriting; it’s Bucky’s!” “Then he tries to tease me from the front line? Great! Not even during the War, I am safe from him” you rolled your eyes, fold the letter back and put it into the envelope, and stood up. “We have things to do, Steve! Tomorrow is your big day” “I know. That why the Sergeant didn’t let me run the extra mile” “He seems to be nice” “Nice? Ever meet him?” “A couple of times” “I am giving up! I just want to take a shower!”

The next couple of weeks didn’t feel like a success in military history. It was more like monkey business. After Steve’s transformation, you thought he would be trained to be a severe soldier. Still, instead, he was turned into a breathing action figure. He had to do press tours, movies and sing stupid jingles. And from looking at the disappointment on Steve’s face, you know he felt the same. You decided to stay with Steve and distance yourself from the duties of the SSR for a while. You didn’t want to let him alone with all these mindless people, such as today. He was told to say some encouraging words to the soldiers at the front. They put up a stage for him, where he could stand on and talk. And they forced him to wear that bad, bright-colored stupid suit. And then he was standing there. Reading the pre-written words to the soldiers, which didn’t even want to listen. He was a super soldier and supposed to fight for his country, but instead, he was a trained monkey in a circus.

Not what he imaged and not what the soldiers wanted to see or hear. It was a disaster; it couldn’t get any worse. And if this wasn’t enough, Steve listened to the news that Hydra had captured the 107th, therefore also Bucky. He tried to convince your uncle to start a rescuing mission, but there was no chance he would allow that. Hydra had a reputation for capturing soldiers and using them for experiments. So if these guys aren’t dead yet, they might be soon. But would that stop Steve? It was about saving Bucky, and he would do it, without any doubt, and he wouldn’t think twice about it. So he and Peggy tried to convince Stark to help them. So it was up to you to take your uncle busy until these trees are gone on the mission.

“Where is Rogers?!!!” Your uncle slam opens the door into your room with a shattering noise. He wasn’t happy – actually, he was pretty angry. He knew something like that would happen, but he hoped that these three idiots would be more intelligent than trying to attack a Hydra base on their own. You got a little frightened and crumbled the paper in your hand a little bit. “I know that you know the answer, and I want you to tell me. NOW!” he entered your room and build himself up in front of your sitting person. You were resting on your bet and had all the letters from James in front of you. You somehow felt rereading them, since there was a possibility these were the last written word of him. In case of his death, you wanted to send them to his sister. “Strolling?” “Strolling? Are you taking me for a fool? I know he is not strolling! What are those?” he flies over the lines of a few letters and couldn’t see an author of these.

After all, you are still his niece, and after your father died, he is somehow – your chaperone now. “Nothing” you wanted to put them together to stuff them somewhere out of sight when he was faster and grabbed one of these. He read through the lines and raised one eyebrow. “Sergeant Barnes wrote you these? That fledgling? Never knew you would be interested in that kind of man” “It’s not like that” “it is not? These letters are pathetic and greasy love letters” “They are not” you shook your head and stood up from your bed. “These are just letters from a man who was bored at the front” “Bored at the front?” your uncle laughed at this. “You are not bored at the front because you are pretty busy not to die. He wasn’t bored, he took the little glimpse of free time he had to write you. That’s not nothing” “You interpreted it false. James Buchanan Barnes is a prankster, a childish little boy, and a womanizer. He would never write this with a serious background” you shrugged your shoulders. “He just wants me because I don’t want him. I actually couldn’t stand him” “Mhm,” he nodded and knit his eyebrows. “So why are you keeping these then? Quite a lot of letters and effort for a man who is just joking around” “You don’t know him” “Well if he is friends with Rogers, he can’t be too bad of a man” “He is an idiot” “All man are idiots! That’s in our genetic code” “Ahhhh that would explain a lot” “Stop that!” He pointed with his index finger at you with that stern look on his face. “Back to the essential! I know that you know where Rogers is. Tell me! Now!” “I don’t know” you shrugged your shoulders, and your uncle looked even angrier at you. He wanted to say something when he heard something from the outside, so you two decided to go outside.

As you went outside the door, you could see how a bigger group of soldiers is coming towards you. All ahead was Steve, and on his left side, you could recognize Bucky. Guess you didn’t need to send the letters to his sister after all.

“You know this idiot?” your uncle standing next to you when you were looking at Steve, bringing home the soldiers from the Hydra base. You were so proud of your little friend from Brooklyn. “Idiots. I know them both” “Both?” “The on his left side? That’s Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. The reason why he started this whole thing” “Barnes, huh? I assume he is his friend?” “Best Friend” you corrected your uncle and smiled slightly. Of course, Steve would do something stupid as running into a Hydra base just to save Bucky and man he didn’t know. It is Steve! He is doing these things, and that’s why he is Captain America.

When they entered the camp, Steve was about to talk to Peggy, and it was lovely. You noticed the little growing thing between them, and it was beautiful. Peggy wasn’t like all the girls Bucky had in mind for Steve. She was just right for him because they meet on the same level. She never looked down on him because of his small physical size. She respected his character and values in every shape he was in. And that’s why she deserved Steve. She liked him as a little boy, and she can have him as the soldier he is now. You were good with it, and they both liked each other. They just didn’t confess just now. While Steve talked to Peggy and a short cheers on Captain America, Bucky was stepping out of the line and walking towards you. What will happen now? What will he say or what will he do? Somehow, you had a strange feeling in your stomach. It felt like itching and tugging, as someone with a stomach bug would feel, shortly before they vomit. “Hey” he put on that crooked smile you already knew, Nothing surprising. Somehow, the little girl in you imaged his first words to be more pontifically or…. something like that. Good to know that some things will never change. “As I can see, you are not dead. Now I have to write an apology letter to your sister. We already informed her of your passing” “You are looking good too, Claw” “I was serious” “I know. Did you get my letters?” “Well…. Yeah…. What was the deeper purpose of these?” “Deeper purpose?” “Yes! Why would you write me letters? We didn’t like each other” “Sure about that?” “Well I assumed based on our shared past, James” “James? We are still at James?” “Isn’t that your name?” “Uhm…. Yea, it is” he looked down for a second before he raised his glace again and seemed a bit subdued. You knit your eyebrows in confusion. Did you say something wrong? What you said was the definite truth! You didn’t get the meaning of the letters, besides the fact that they were actually lovely and you two – indeed – didn’t like each other enough to receive these letters. Then you started to look down on his ripped and dirty clothes until you saw a big bloodstain near his stomach. “You-“ you reached out your hand for the stain, to feel if it still was wet. Surprisingly, the loose looking clothes are pretty narrow, so you could feel his muscles under it. “a doctor. You need a doctor! Medical…. Treatment!” “Some of the guys are worse than me” “Now” “Hey, Claw. I am fine. Don’t worry. Wait…. You wouldn’t worry anyway, right?” “That – That’s not fair! You should go and see a doctor” “I will” he stepped back and run past you. Why was he angry this time?

When the doctor was about to finish his treatment with Bucky when you slowly stepped into the room. He was sitting on a lounger without his top but about to put it back on. You could get a view of his upper body and how perfectly smooth it looked. Not a single scratch, not a scar, or anything else. The doc put his stuff together and left the room directly. Seemed like James was the last patient on his list for the day, and then there was silence. Big and uncomfortable silence. He was mad at you, but for what? For you being confused about friendly letters, which he had no reason for? It's not like that you two ever had a long and pleasant conversation before, so he had no right to be that angry with you! "I am confused" you took the word and looked strong at him. He listened to you, shook his head, and pulled on his shirt in one quick and smooth movement. "Why do I got these letters from you? We weren't that close before, so I have every right to be confused, and you never explained it! In none of these letters!" "You read them? All of them?" "Well…. Of course, I did!" "And you still call me James?" "Okay!" you raised your hands and blow entirely off. "Why is it so important to you how I call you? WHY?!" "it just is" "Okay, fine, I call you Bucky. Happy now?" "A bit" "Tell me why!" "Just means I am closer" "closer? Closer to what?" "Don't mind, Claw," he winks at you, and indeed his mood got better, and he isn't mad anymore? Jesus, this MAN is driving her CRAZY!

"Don't call me Claw" he smirked and stood up from the lounger, then he came close to you, very close. He stood directly in front of you, so close, you could feel his body heat on your own body. He lowered his head down to your ear and whispered something in it: "you will always be Claw. See you tonight" "Tonight?" "There is a pub down the street. Come for a drink" "You invite me for a drink?" "I do" "Is it poisoned?" you asked him, what make him laugh. "Not yet" "But later?" "You have to try" "What an enormous stupid idea to go for a drink which is protentional poisoned! You think I am stupid?" "No. Actually, I think you are quite intelligent. I can't force you to come for the drink, but I would love to see you. Please come" more than just confused, you got left behind buy Bucky. What was that? Honestly, what was that? What the hell was that?! James Buchanan Barnes, you ---- Jerk!

"If you want to hear my opinion. A boy will always be a boy. If he was like that before the War, he would not change much" Peggy turned a few times sideways before the mirror and smooth her red dress down. She put it on because she will go to the Pub where Steve and the other from the 107th are. She wanted to see Steve and want to have a little talk with him. You, on the other hand, didn't put anything fancy. Actually, you had your nightwear already. You didn't plan to go to the pub, even though Bucky would be happy about it. This situation was too confusing for you, and you decided to get more distance to the problem. You wanted to look at it more detailed and with a clear view. Bucky behaved strangely, and everything started with these letters, so you asked Peggy about it. You told her the whole History with Past and present, and she said that he probably is just playing around. Nobody goes from enemies to lovers in that short period, without spending time. It was only not possible. The first letter was friendly, but there weren't any signs that he would send her one. Letting the situation cooldown would be the best for her and that precisely what you will do. Let the case cool down! "You look good, Agent. He will love it" "who?" "You know who I meant" "Possible," you smiled, and Peggy smiled too until she went out of the door.

Meanwhile….

"You look nervous. Why are you nervous?" "I am not" Bucky grabbed his drink and took a sip, but when he heard the door opening, he immediately put down his glass, leaned back, and looked at the door. "Of course you are not nervous" Steve smiled and sat next to his friend at the bar. "It's not nervousness, Steve" "Then tell me what else it is?" he poked his friend, who didn't answer. He just shook his head with a decent smile and grabbed his glass again. He knows this kind of behavior from Bucky. It's about a girl, he is waiting for a certain girl to come in, and the clue was, Steve already knows which Girl Bucky had in mind. What stumbles him was the reason why he chooses her. Before the War, when they were in school together, he never showed special interest in her. It was quite the opposite; he was absolutely not interested in her. He avoided the contact and chat with her after that little accident with the dress. And she? Well, he made her feelings about Bucky more than clear: she hated him from the bottom of her soul. So maybe it was just a typical boy who wants what they can't have in a situation. That would at least the most logical answer to that whole surreal scenario. "Did she read them? The letters I send her?" "She did. Although she was skeptical. Until the 6th or 8th letter, she thought, a friend would write them for you, and you just send them to her to make fun of her" "did she really thought that? That it was a bad joke?" "Well, Bucky-" Steve laughed a bit and shook his head. "You can't deny that these letters came out of the blue! Before that, you never had a good talk without me preventing you two from killing each other. So getting these nice written letters was indeed a surprise, and she had a good reason to be suspicious" "Looking from that perspective…. What did I though? That was a stupid idea" Bucky pinch together his face until he took his drink and finished it in one sip. "Buck… what did you expect from her?" he thought about it for a second when he shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing" "But Bucky-" "Hey Steve, let's not talk about it anymore, okay? It was something stupid, and we put the veil of forgetting over it, okay? It never happened" "But it did happen, Bucky, and now you confused her. So what is the overall plan?" "There is no plan, man. It was just-" he hesitates a second and looked down into his empty glass. Yeah, what was it, Bucky? Was it just boredom why you wrote the letters? Was it desperation? Homesickness? Desire? And unsolved puzzle? The Only woman who doesn't thirst over him? The only one he couldn't conquer? Was it even a little spark of love? He didn't know; it was just a right and good feeling writing these letters to her. He was at the front; things are different there. A fallen friend from his Unit wrote letters to a girl he didn't even like, just because he wanted to. These were nice letters too. He didn't care if she read them or burn them; he just wanted to write someone, something nice. In addition to that, it has to be mentioned that this guy joined the army because he didn't have family left. So writing that girl was the only option he had, and he liked it. Bucky hadn't the same situation. He could write to his sister or Steve. It was not like he had nobody to write to, but writing to her just felt right. "Just nothing serious" he shrugged his shoulders and put on a solid smile. "Sure…" at that moment, it got silent in the room, and everyone's head was turning towards the door. So did Bucky and Steve looked in the same direction. It was Peggy in a stunning red dress, which fit her body perfectly. She was coming directly up to Steve and Bucky, but she just saw Steve. "Captain," "Agent Carter," "Stark has complied some equipment for you. You should come and try it" she looked over to Bucky for a second, who smiled nicely at her, but she just stared him down with that steel brown eyes. He got a little bit scared, but he liked the woman who can keep up with him. In the background, she heard how Steve's man are starting to sing again. "I see your top squad is preparing for duty?" – "You don't like music?" Bucky asked her question, but her eyes and attention were just on Steve, and he was invisible to her. "I do, actually. I might even – when this is all over – go dancing" – "Then what are we waiting for?" he tried another approach at the beautiful Britain agent, but she still ignores him completely. "For the right partner," she smiled slightly. "Tomorrow, 800 captains" then she turned away from the boys and walked out of the pub. "Yes, ma'am! I will be there" "I am invisible" Bucky shrugged his shoulders and looked at Steve with a satisfied smile, that his friend got the beautiful lady this time. "I-I am turning into you! This is a horrible dream" "Don't take it so hard-" Steve pad his shoulder and smiled too. "Maybe she's got a friend! Oh right, Claw is her friend!" "Haha – what?" "You heard it, Claw and Agent Carter are good friends since they met a couple of months ago. They trained together and work well as a team" "You mean that your hard-boiled, sexy, badass British nearly girlfriend is friends with Claw?" "Yeah," Steve nodded his head, not aware of what that meant for the boys. That was a disaster, like – ENORMOUS disaster! "Steve! Agent Carter and Claw are friends? Like… friends?" "Yes? Did something hit your head?" "This is bad! You can't have your best friend and your girl be best friends! They will form an alliance and have all the power to destroy us?" "us? Why us? You have problems with Claw, not me. And I survived this constellation the past few months pretty good, so I am not worried – oh wait! You are worried about your ass" "I am" Bucky nodded his head a few times fast. "Because your pretty but deadly Agent for sure has some tricks upon her sleeve and Claw? Oh, we both know she is full of surprises. I am dead. Officially" "You overdramatize it, Bucky. They are cool" "Yeah, with you, mister perfect blond hair" "Okay, you know what-"Steve raised his hand and ordered a few more drinks. "Let's have a good night! Cheers, my friend!"

While Steve and Peggy were with Stark to test out some new weapons for Steve, you took the chance to use the training room for yourself. It was an excellent opportunity for you to think about everything that happened the past two days. You spend your night rereading the letters to find a hint to solve this situation, but there wasn't. These were just lovely written letters from Bucky to you. Nothing more about it. Just words. Just nice words!

You punched the punching bag a few times pretty hard so that the chain with which it was attached to the ceiling rattles a few times loudly. So when it was just a nice word, written down on a dirty piece of paper, make your thought circle and skip all the time. It was a thug and war game in your head between, admitting that there could be a deeper meaning behind it and just brushing it off and don't think about it anymore. As much you want the one, the other was alarming. And there was this little voice in the back of your brain, saying that you initially hated Bucky. But why is something in you wanted to deny that you hate Bucky and want it to be something? Well, he was indeed a handsome man, and for sure, he could be nice. She has letters to prove that there was something good about him, but why did she initially hate him? It was clearly not just because he vomited on her dress one evening. No, she wasn't superficial like that.

While you lambasted the dummy in the training room, you didn't recognize how someone was entering It. He lends against one of the exercise equipment's, with arms crossed, that little smirk on his lips and looking at you. You noticed him in the corner of your eye and stopped your training. You were sweaty, and you were out of breath, but you liked it like that. A hard training session helped you to clear your mind. "Steve told me, you have a tough punch, but I had no clue" "Because you underestimated me all the time" "Ohhh did I? What a horrible mistake of mine" "Right" you nodded your head and went over to the place where you had your stuff, a little town, a water bottle and a jacked for leaving. You took the city and wiped the sweat away from your face. "You weren't in the pub Yesterday…. I've waited for you" "I-I had…. Stuff to do. Some documents to check and things to think about" "Mhm" he slowly nodded his head and repel from the what he lend on and walked towards you. "Were you successful? With the documents?" "Uhm-"your thoughts went clear for the blink of a second. Did you ever mention how unbelievably clear and beautiful his eyes were? This kind of blue was so light, like a nice clear blue sky. "No," your voice returned, and you shook your head. "There was nothing helpful in these documents" you knitted your eyebrows and took a step back. He was coming unusually near again. What was wrong with him? "Bucky…. What you want from me?" "What I want? From you?" "Yes. I have no problems with admitting that I am confused by your behavior" "You are confused by me?" she smiled a little bit brighter and honest. "That's-"you rolled your eyes. "That's not what I meant! You just behaving oddly! Tell me what's up, now!" "You don't like that?" "Liking what?!" "Liking it when I come near to you? Writing these letters to you? When I devour you with my eyes?" he wanted to get all seductive but no chance. That sounded too stupid for her taste. "Bucky, you know we are not in one of these movies from the theater? Devouring me with your eyes is not the kind of phrase which makes me melt for you" you blink at him and turn away from him. "Indeed… I think a woman who fell for that have very little self-respect" "Claw, come 'one! You can't tell me you didn't like this kind of cheesy! Everybody likes that!" "Ohhh, now I get it" she turned back to him and smiled herself. "I am just a target on your list, and you get frustrated because I am not thirsting over you! Like most of the girls back home? So predictable. And I thought there would be more behind it. Guess it is just the game of an unmatured little schoolboy" you waved it off and wanted to grab your thinks to leave. You were almost out of the door when Bucky asked to hold you back. "Want to hear a funny story?" you give a huge sigh and roll your eyes, but you turned around one more time and crossed the arms in front of your chest. "Sure" maybe he will give up after this story. You didn't want to be the center of a stupid game. If you wanted to have the attention of a man, you wanted it to be real. And when it comes down to Bucky and you, there was just real aversion. "Yesterday – when I waited for you in the pub – I talked with Steve. He told me you were confused about the letters. Maybe I shouldn't have written them in the first place since they came out of the blue" he knit his eyebrows for a short second, and for a moment, he looked lost, but then he regained his confidence and smirked at you again. "I never hated you, Claw. Never" "If that is true… why all these arguments, the comments, and that eye-rolling? That's doesn't make sense!" he wanted to come a little bit closer and smiled slightly. "You don't know about boys, right?" – you wanted to answer when you heard the door and a view voices. "Anyway," he cleared his throat and did a few steps back and folded the arms behind his back.

You glanced up and saw some guys from his Unit standing there, ready to use the training room. Then you looked back at Bucky, who tried to avoid any eye contact with you. That was the reason why you couldn't stand Bucky. He might be a good guy, but he changed his behavior, depending on who was around. Before these guys were here, he tried to be friendly and even tried flirting but now? He put so much space between you two as possible. "James," you said his name softly but with a disappointing undertone. You weren't disappointed that his flirting was just for his fun. You were disappointed because Steve felt so proud about Bucky being his friend. He would be so devastated when he finds out how Bucky behave. "Sergeant," you elongated your shoulders and nodded the head slightly to leave the room. At least you got your answer now, how to value these letters. You shouldn't value them at all, there is the product of a man who is just playing around, and you didn't have time for that. At the end of the day, it was War, and missions had to be planned.

The next few days, you brought as much space between yourself and Bucky as possible. You couldn't stand inconsistency, and Bucky was full of that. Anyway, it wasn't your problem anymore, since you discredited him for your greater good. He would take too much attention from you and your work, and right now, you needed all of your attention. The first mission of the Howling commando will be today. Tony, Peggy, your uncle, and yourself took days for the planning and researching. Since it would be a Hydra Base you are attacking, accurate planning was a necessity. That included calculating all the skills of the Commando itself. Peggy and your Uncle took the central part, planning the attack itself, with time management and others. Your domain was analyzing the abilities of Soldiers, that included Bucky, much to your chagrin. But luckily for you, most of Bucky's skills were written down in his military file, and you doubt that he learned new things. So it was an easy thing to calculate their skills into the plan. Even though many great minds worked on this plan, it was a weak one. You didn't know enough about the Hydra facilities, so you guys planned with some sort of puffer zone for mistakes. That's not the best Precondition for doing such a dangerous mission, but it will go well with a super Soldier like Steve. At least you hoped it for Steve. Lucky for you guys, there was a Hydra base basically around the corner from your Headquarters. So if something would go wrong, there are definitely safe options for retreat or reinforcement.

It was about 3 hours in the mission. You and Peggy were sitting the underground base at the big round table, with all the Plans for Today's mission. You had a walkie-talkie with you in case the guys needed help or further instructions. While Peggy was a little bit stressed and nervous, you were definitely calmer. You knew that Steve would be hard to kill since his wounds will heal faster and his overall senses are better. "How can you be so calm?!" Peggy grabbed the walkie-talkie aggressively and starred it down. Then she stood up and walked around like a chirpy cat. "It's Steve! He is your friend!" she tried to convince you into being worried too. "Steve is a super Soldier; he will manage to return" "And the others?" "They are with Steve" you smirked slightly and got in a more comfortable sitting position. You put your feet up on the seating surface of another chair, leaned back in your seat, and put your hand behind your head. "So much can go wrong! We should have planned it better! More details, and we should have trained more for it" she shook her head and turn over the mobile radio in her hands. "A-And the other one? Sergeant Barnes? I saw you talking a lot a while ago" "You really want to talk about it, right now?" she stopped walking for a second seemed to rethink her choice of Smalltalk. "Yes, why not" she shrugged her shoulders and set down a few seats away, and throw the Walkie-Talkie on the table. "This is what women do, right? Talking and doing nothing" after that, you have to laugh. Yes, that's what women are supposed to do at this age. "Agent Carter, we both know that women like us are supposed to do more than that," and Peggy had to smirk too. "The guys are fine, probably. Maybe already on their way back home. So do not worry too much about Steve" "I- I am not-!" she wanted to disagree, but you just raised your hand and shook your head. "I might not be a delicate woman, but I am no stupid. I can see, and I can interpret. Just an idiot would miss the chemistry between you and Steve" "Chemistry? That sounds like a pathetic movie" she rolled her eyes and sighed. "Even strong women are allowed to have a crush on a very handsome, nice, gentleman soldier with flawless blond hair and a demigod build body," you winked at her. You might be able to see a little glint of red around her nose. "I can relate, don't worry. Who wouldn't be interested in a 1,83 cm tall man build of pure muscles, right?" "I am not that superficial!" "I know!" you nod your head shortly and smiled warmly. "You like Steve because of Steve. Because of his values, principles, and character. Not because of his physical experience. I just want to say, it is okay to have a crush on him. Even though we are strong women, we are allowed to have feelings for someone else" "Is that so? What about you? You and Sergeant Barnes? Hm? You tell me I am allowed to fall in love with someone else but look at you! All cool and cold about the Soldier" "Me and Barnes? James Buchanan Barnes? The Womanizer from Brooklyn? No thanks," you shook your head and thought about Bucky for a second and shook your head again. "No! Never possible" "Sure" "I mean, he is too ---- too Bucky" "too Bucky?" "Yeah, you know, too smooth, charming with that crooked but somehow alluring smile and – you know – the optical appealing physic" "So…. You think he looks good?" "No, that's not what I meant" "That's what you said" "I just…. Analyzed it on a neutral basis!" "If you feel better about yourself if you say it like that," Peggy shrugged her shoulders and turned her back on you. What you said was nonsense. Looking for all those little things about a person, it not just analyzing them. It's giving them this special kind of attention, where you try to find as many little things as possible. "Steve told me about you and Bucky and your rough relationship" "What?! Why did he-" "For research purposes," Peggy interrupted you and turned around to look at you with a little smirk on her lips. "That there is a special kind of tension between you two is obvious. I needed to know if it is helpful or hindering for future missions. If there are problems in the Team, I should know, and he mentioned the thing between you two. I always thought that men are the underexposed gender, but in this case, it's you who is not getting it" "Getting it? Getting what?" "Sergeant Barnes" "Bucky? There is not much about him to get. He is a man; he likes boobs, hips, and most importantly, a lack of brain" "Sure about that?" "You are already the second person who is asking me that. Yes, I am sure! I do not change my mind on things; I am usually getting things right the first time, and James Buchanan Barnes? He is egocentric, idiotic, self-assertive, and the general opinion that a woman will immediately fall in love with his pretty face. So, what is there that I do not get about him?" "You actually have no clue, don't you?" you give a huge groan of annoyance and stood up from your chair. "Call me when they returned from the mission and how it went. I am sure Colonel Philips has something to do for me which is more sense full than…. Waiting," you turned your back to Peggy and wanted to walk out of the room when she mentioned something towards you, which throw out of the line a bit. "he likes you; that's why he behaved like this. I can't say if it's love but measured by the amount of time he has a crush on you, I would suggest it's something like love. Well, you can never be sure with men, but I am pretty sure he likes you" – "That's-" you turned around for a second and shook your head. "He is a little schoolboy who likes to play pranks and joking around. He was never serious about anything or anyone besides the friendship with Steve. It's just…. Bucky" "One of the many things I learned from my brother is that boys show affection by being extraordinarily annoying and mean towards girls. They think it would make them cooler and gives them the Bad Boy Charm. Obviously, it didn't work in that case, but I am sure sergeant Barnes has a little thing for you" Instead of answering her, you just left the room. The guys will be fine and probably back soon. Originally you wanted to ask your uncle for something to do, but now, you just wanted to have a strong and big drink. So you headed to your room, make a quick change of clothes, and left the basis for the pub nearby.

You sat there. A few hours – at least you thought it would be a few hours – but in reality, it must have been an hour or so. Not more than one and a half. Time was rushing in your current state of awareness because your brain was working. Your thoughts were rolling over each other because you tried to find the mistake in that scenario. You and Bucky? You have never been friends before, and now he had a crush on you? Apparently, to Peggy, he had a desire for a long time, but that wouldn't make sense. He was always with other girls, was flitting around, never seemed too happy about your presence. He just had a few nice words for you when you two meet, and mostly they were meant ironically. And then – out of the blue – there were these letters, and now you are completely confused. The people around you, telling you he has feelings for you but does he? Or is he just a good actor? You would assume the second, but Steve would have told you otherwise. So what is it with Bucky? He behaved strangely when he was around you and even more strange when others were around too. He was inconsistent, but why? This man was acting without any kind of logical concept behind it, and it drives you crazy, and then you came back to your old tuck and war game in your head. You wanted it to be accurate, but you know it couldn't be possible. Stuck between reality and a pipe dream (when you can call it like that). But instead of asking why he was acting like that, you should ask a better question: how did you felt about that? All of that? You couldn't stand Bucky because of his lucid character but was that all? Was that the whole reason why you didn't like him all these years?

"Hey, pretty Lady," someone put a drink next to you on the counter. It was a familiar voice you could recognize easily by now. "How you know I was here?" "I didn't. We successfully finished the mission, so we wanted to go for a drink. It just happened to be this pub with you in it" "James-" "Oh no. I thought we would be over the James thing" "I never liked you, and I showed you that I didn't like you. I even told you that I don't! So why –"you moved your head sideways to looked in his face. "So why do you like me? Why the only girl who showed that she is not interested?" he moved his head forth and back and had a slight smile on his lips. "I- I could say because you were the only one not interested, but that would be just half of the story?" "Then, what's the whole story?" "Well… It was somehow a love at the first sight situation, with the difference that you didn't like me" "You vomited on my dress" "Yeah – haha – not my best first impression, right?" "No. Actually not" "The point is-" he wanted to get a little nearer towards you when the front door of the pub was slammed open. You could hear loudly bawling man, and when Bucky leaned back and raised his hand for a greeting wave, you know it was the rest of the Howling Commando. And you immediately had that hunch that Bucky would go on distance now, and your conversation would be over. "Alright. You should go" "No, why? I am here talking to you" "Ohhh, you want to stay with me? All informal?" "Claw-" "James," he shudders his head and grins a little bit. "It wasn't your authority I had concerns about. Your uncle is the Colonel and Boss of this group. I didn't want to fall in disgrace" "A pretty lame excuse, don't you think?" "It isn't an excuse" "Sound like one" "Why-" he knit his eyebrows and shake his head slowly. "Why are you so distrustful of me? What I did to you?" "You ---! Do not act like I am the odd one here" "Odd one? What you mean?" "You have a crush on me?" you decided to jump into the cold water and just asked the question, which burned on your tongue. Also, Bucky seemed to be overwhelmed by that and looked at you like a deer in headlights. You were a little impatient, so after you didn't get an answer, you just rolled your eyes and stood up from your seat. "Boys will be boys…" you whispered, annoyed and thrust past Bucky and head for the Exit of the pub, with fast steps. Behind your back, you could hear how Bucky pushed back his chair too and head after you. "Claw, wait!" he wanted to grab your forearm, but you were faster and went out of the door. If you believe he would give up – haha – good joke. You took a deep breath from the cold evening air when you felt pressure around your wrist. As fast as you've always been, you withdraw your hand from Bucky's, turned around, and wanted to punch him in the face. But you underestimated him and his reflexes. He already saw that coming and dodge his head to the side and grinned. "You know most girls just start whimpering if they didn't get an answer" "I am not like most girls" you were incredibly angry at yourself for wasting so much time with him. You were angry about him for being him! So you went for the next attack and wanted to use a horizontal elbow strike, which was also blocked by him. This time, he holds your elbow tight with his hands he blocked it with. "Yes, that's right. You are not. You are like a feral cat. Always grumpy and always willing to fight" "Right!" you rushed to remove your arm from his hold, took a half step back, and went for a lead head kick, but you got it a little bit lower, so you would just hit his rips. He wasn't prepared for that, so you hit him with full power. He groaned in pain and hold his side; he could already feel how a big hematoma will grow there. This time, he really did make her angry. He heard from Steve that she was a good fighter, but he never knew how good she actually was. She was fast, strong, and had total control over the positioning of her kicks and punches. A real powerhouse of a woman. Of course, he went for the feisty one! "Ouch – that was a good one, Claw" he pulled in air sharply and put again a smile one. "But if you would have waited for 10 seconds more, you would have to get your answer" "I don't need one anymore" you loosed up your attack and defense fight position and pulled straightened your clothes, and wanted to leave when Bucky grabbed your arm, again and again, you punched him. This time, you got his nose. "Jesus – Claw!" he pulled his head back and hold his nose, but you didn't saw blood coming out from it, so it was fine. Maybe it will get a little swollen but not more. "Stop punching me!" "Stop touching me!" "No!" "Okay, then do not complain about punches!" "Why do you have to punch me?!" "I don't know – reflexes?" "Get it under control!" "Stop touching me!" "No!" "Why?!" "Because I don't want to!" "Okay then-" "Even if you use me as a punching sack," "Don't complain then!" "Just stop it for a second" "Why?" "Because I want to tell you that I indeed have a crush on you!" "Why?" "What you mean with why? It's just like this!" "Why?" "Claw!" you looked at him perplexed. When you heard it, and it was clear that he had a crush on you, you were more confused than before. That never happened before. Never ever did a boy admit something on you – except when they said they didn't like you. That was something new, and now it was Bucky too. The only one you could never imagine in that situation. "Claw?" he ripped you out of your thoughts and wanted to take a step nearer to you. Of course, he was careful and afraid that you would punch him again. "Permission to come near?" he asked jokingly, and you nodded slowly. "tell me why" "Why? Claw, I do not have an answer for that" he shrugged his shoulders. "It just is what it is. One day, I started to look at you closer, notice little things you did, and then it just happened" "You stalked me?!" "No! NO! That's not what – Jesus! You are so intelligent and yet so stupid" he seemed to get angry too, or more frustrated. "I send you these letters in the hope you would change your mind about me. There is something private and intimate, so you could know me on a different level. With people around us, it was hard for me to get to know you" "Okay, but-"you knit your eyebrows in confusion. "Why all the flirts with numerous girls? In front of me? Didn't make sense" "Well-" he smirked. "I thought I could make you jealous, but it clearly didn't work" "No, it didn't! The opposite happened; I liked you less" "Wow – ouch – yes, it was a stupid idea but-" "No! You are just joking around!" you made a few steps away from him to leave, but he heads after you again, and he grabbed your wrist again and pulled you towards him, this time. At that moment, you wanted to make a noise of protest, but it was too late. He pressed his lips on yours but not in an aggressive way. It was somehow a gentle and shy kiss, more like a softly putting his lips on yours despite the situation. You were surprised by the act itself but also by the good feeling it gave you. A few seconds, you tried to melt into that new, arousing feeling until your brain started to work again and pulled you faced back and slapped Bucky hardly in the face. "Claw-"but before he could finish the sentence, you grabbed his face and kissed him again. You wanted to make sure this feeling was not just a one-time glimpse, and it wasn't. After a few seconds, you ended the kiss and were shocked about the result, and when the last minute panic was growing in you, you slapped him again. "Sorry," you directly apologized what didn't make the situation better. You kicked him, punched him, and slapped him multiple times. Seemed like he would be over you right now. "I hope it's not getting a habit to hurt me, whenever I am near to you….?" "You plan to do this more often?" "I –" he wanted to say something and just shook his head. You were incredible and so naturally honest. "I want to kiss you again – now – please do not punch me" "I try" "Promise!" "I try, but I can't promise!" "Claw!" "Wait-"you took one step back again. "I still don't get it. You behaved like a jerk all these years because you liked me?" "Yes" "That's so stupid!" "I am a boy, Claw. We do stupid things" "But that even too stupid for you," he groaned, annoyed and shook his head, when he stemmed his arms in his hips. "Just shut up for a second and let me kiss you. Okay?" "But-" she wanted to disagree, but he went to her with a few quick steps to kiss her again. It was still soft but more confident and intense. And there was it again, that little, intense and new feeling which started to grow in your stomach. It tingled a little but was warm – so hot – and it grows fast until that warmth was everywhere in your body. He stated a little sweet, with a bitter undertone, from his drink. His lips were so soft, but his hands on your cheeks felt a little bit sore but not disturbing at all. He smelled a little bit like smoke, sweat, and dirt from the mission he came from. When he ended the kiss, he slightly smirked. "You didn't punch me. We are making progress, darling" "Don't call me that" bumped him against his chest, so he had to make a half step back with a bright smile. You rolled your eyes and turned away from him. "Fuck you!" – "Would you?" "You know, I used to dream about ending your life" you had that little devilish smile on your face, which just get countered by his self-proud smile. "Now you want to spend it with me? I would call that progress" "Na, I still think about ending it if you continue doing what you are doing" "And what am I doing?" "You are driving me crazy. Stop that" "No chance," he shook his head and put his arm around your shoulders. "What are you doing?" – "touching you?" "Stop that" "No way!" "Barnes!" "I love it when you are yelling my Name" "You ---- IDIOT!" "Your idiot. We want to be specific here" "I kill you, I promise!" "Don't make promises you can't keep" "Who said I can't keep it?" "Because you do not hate me" "Grrrrr – you are still an idiot!" "Loooooove is in the aaaaaaair," he stats to sing when it was finally enough for you. You freed yourself from him and ran a few steps forward, but he came after you. Guess you didn't get rid of him any time soon.

The next mission for the howling Commando was in progress. Together with the soldiers, Peggy, Uncle Chester, and you were developing a better plan. They told you that there was some trouble with equipment and gave you information about how this facility was built. Based on the new information's you were designing a new plan of attack. This progress took a while, and it took much time. So you personally had just a little time left and spend this free hour with sleep and rest. Since Bucky didn't have all these tasks, he was finished with his things early on days. Actually, he just had the usual training schedule on his daily routine. Maybe a weapon test, when Stark was finished with something new, but that's it.

"Great! Put it down on a report, so we can give it for further investigations" your uncle closed the meeting for the day and left the notes on the big round table. Today it was your turn to put the stuff you talked about into a pretty file. It would be the last thing on your to-do list for the day. After everybody left the room, you heard how the door opened again. You looked over the big table on the opposite of the room. You saw Bucky standing there, having a quick view over the notes on the table. "paperwork?" utilizing his voice, you could tell that he hoped you would say no, but he knew it was a lost hope. "Yes," you groaned in exhaustion and looked again over all the papers. It was a hard week for you, and you didn't have a lot of sleep. So many things that need to be done, and this was the last drip for you. Since the War began and you were in active service, something like weekend got a foreign word. "Maybe I can help you?" "Just when your fingers can tip on a writing machine as fast as you can shoot" "Uhm…. No" "Then you can't help me" "Buuuut-" he smiled and walked around the table towards you. "I can do other things?" he went behind you and stroke your hair to the side to start kissing your neck softly. "James-"you giggled a bit. "We can't – not here!" "did I mentioned that I love it when you call me James with that flutter voice of yours?" "Sergeant Barnes!" you wanted to talk sense in him, but there was no chance that he would end his activity back there. "I love it even more when you call me Sergeant Barnes," he whispered into your ear with a hot breath, so your whole neck was covered in goosebumps. After a few moments, he started to caress your neck with the tip of his fingers. As he would crawl you. "You are really tensed" then he started to massage your neck, which elicited you a few relaxing groans. It felt so good when he's strong, and big hands knead your hurting muscles in your neck, and you closed your eyes for a few seconds to really lean into his movements. It's been a while since you two had time for each other. After that – more than just awkward – evening, you hadn't had many moments to talk about what happened. You two just agreed – in silence – that you would just roll with it and see where it ends. You are still suspect about him a little bit. On a scale from 1 – 10, you trusted him with a good 6 or 7. So there was a long way to something like a liaison. Bucky was incredibly talented when I came down to being seductive and charming. Nothing you didn't know before, but you had to be careful. After you just let go of most of your thoughts, falling for him completely was a sweet forbidden fruit. He couldn't control any of his desires, drives, or carvings, so you had to be twice a careful. The art was to not get addicted to him and taste too much of that sweet, sweet flavor and have just enough taste on the tip of your tongue to make life delicious as candy. If you tasted too much, you would get into an ecstasy, to less, and you two would get bored. It was a balancing act, or a play with fire because Bucky was like a forest fire. "Hey Claw," his voice brought you back to reality, and you tried to turn your head towards him. "hm?" "Do you want to go out with me tonight? Dancing? Having a drink? Maybe a little moonlight walk?" "A date? You want to go on a date with me?" "I want to take you out, not date. Dating is for people who are not a couple – we are" "Are we?" you asked back. For you, it wasn't a real couple feeling what you two had and did. It was more like a workplace romance, but it didn't felt like something serious, strong, and made for more. "You – You didn't think we are, something?" "Bucky-" you turned around to him and leaned against the table. "What do we know about each other? Most of the time I have known you, I didn't like you" "Thanks for the friendly reminder" "I just want to point out that you can't jump from enemies to lover just by the blink of a moment" he seemed to thought about it and nodded his head. "Good. We have a date tonight. Put on something nice, and I will pick you up. Sound good?" "Indeed" "Great! But-" he put a hand on your cheek and gave you a little kiss on your cheekbones. "I will not give up the kisses, even if it is indecently" he winked at you and wanted to leave the room. At the moment he left, you wanted him back. He smelled so incredible good, and his body warmth was so intense when he was near to you. "Sergeant Barnes!" and as you would pull him back on the string, he turned around to you in one fluid movement, beat the heels together, and stretched his head forward as he would expect any commands from you. "Yes, Ma'am?" To be honest? You liked him in his soldier mode. So serious and receptive to your orders, even though you didn't have a higher military rank than he did. "Please remind your Unit to submit their mission reports in time. I do not want to run after that" "Yes, Ma'am," he winked at you before he left the room. After you were sure he left, you took a deep breath. You needed to get your work done, and after that, you could think about the date tonight. If you manage to be able to go there. You have to admit, you never went on a date before. You never were interested in this kind of activity, AND nobody ever asked you.

It took you forever to put everything on paper and file it away. It was a long evening in the office and your eyes already hurt from the desk lamp's bad lighting. It was somehow a filthy yellowish light, and it started to flicker after a few hours. You realized how late it was when you heard the door behind you. You looked tiredly over your shoulder and saw Bucky in his dress uniform. "You forgot it?" "No. I just had too much work to do" "You need help?" "No, I finished it, like 1 minute ago" you leaned back in your seat and closed your eyes. "So you don't want to go out anymore?" "To be honest? I would prefer to just stay here and have a casual evening" "Okay," he nodded and grabbed a chair from nearby to sit next to her. Before he sat down, he unbuttons his uniform jacket and hangs it over the backrest of his chair. He also got rid of his tie and opened the first two buttons of his shirt, pulled it out of the trouser, and took off his head to loosen his hair too. He looked like a wild night out, with too many drinks and wild affairs. Perfect fit to your optical illusion right now. You were tired, your uniform slipped here and there a little bit, and you already took off your shoes and tie. "Already better! So – I am sure somebody has a bottle of scotch in their desk drawers" "Yes-"you pointed at the biggest desk at the top of the room. "My uncle has some, in the lowest one" "Your uncle? Sure nobody else?" "Just go and grab the damn scotch!" "Yes, Ma'am!" he stood up and walked fast over there. Didn't took him long to get the bottle and came back. "Glasses?" he looked around to look for Something they can use as glass. "Damn it" you overreached the bottle and opened it, and took a sip out of it. You weren't in a pub, fancy ballroom, dinner with parents, or in the company! You could drink right out of the bottle, at least this one time. "Okay," he took the bottle back and took a sip. "You are not ladylike, aren't you?" "Definitely not!" "That's good. I am not a fan of the Gentleman stuff either" "You would look terrible in cylinder and wreck" "You think so?" "Pretty sure, yes" "Thank God I do not have to wear one. The military uniform is already killing me. Do you know how much time it took me to get into all of these layers? An unreasonable daman!" he took another sip. "Be happy you do not have to wear these tight skirts – Jesus, what would I give for a pair of comfortable shoes and pants!" you took the bottle back and also took a big sip. "I mean-" he raised an eyebrow, put on a mischievous smile, and tilted his head a bit. "You could just take all off" "No!" you took another sip. "I am not one for your easy girls, where you just smile, and the clothes fall off" "That's what you think of me? A sex-driven guy?" "I didn't say that! I just said that it took you more effort to take off my clothes" "I didn't doubt that" he took back the bottle and took a big big sip out of it. "What you planned for the evening? Besides dancing and walking?" "Talking. Mostly talking. I already talked with Steve, and there are so many things we do not know about each other. So maybe tonight is a good start?" "Sure. Ask whatever you want to know" "How did you meet Steve?" "Oh good – I guess it was somewhere in the primary school. His father and my father were friends from active Service. So we meet somehow one day. We linked over a book and got into a chat, and – yeah – now we are here. How did you meet, by the way? That Is way more interesting?!" "he got into a fight. Couldn't finish it. So I did. Our bonding moment" "Guys," you rolled your eyes, smiled, and reached out for the bottle to take another sip. "And your father is fine with you being here? And serving for your country? I bet he must be proud that his little wildcat is doing Something in the military as he did?" "Uhm…. He… I hope he is proud, but I don't know" "You don't know? Didn't have that strong bound?" "Oh no, we have – had – we were really close" "Had?" "He died a few months ago inactive Service. Before Steve and I joined the SSR, I got a letter that he passed away. But it's not a big deal, I knew he would die in this way and so did he" "You dad died, that's a big deal" "It was predictable, so it didn't hit as hart" "But --- how can you not be sad?" "Like I said, it was predictable. It's not like that I didn't love my father, but I knew he would die inactive Service, so it was kind of prepared for that" you shrugged your shoulders took another sip out of the bottle. "Is that why you like to follow logic ways?" "Hm?" "I noticed, you are fine with things as long they are logical. As soon as it's not logical, you are confused" "maybe. Maybe not. I never thought about it. Logic is simple and relatable in contrast to people" "That can't be true! You have to have a person you can rely on! What about…. Your uncle!" "Hm… he was there when my mother died when I was younger, but he left someday, without a word" "Then you father!" "The US Army was always more important than me. He would prioritize them over me all the time" you shrugged your shoulders and took another sip from the bottle – a big one this time. "Who else is on your life, then?" "Steve was with you most of the time. I am not resentful because of that. Friendships between the same Sex are always stronger, so it was fine" "You do not have siblings?" "No" "Aunts? Uncles?" "No" "Grandparents?" "Dead. Listen, Bucky-" you shrugged your head. "I am fine. I've been good on my own, so I just will continue doing that; worked out good" "But-" he knit his eyebrows. "You are not alone" "Yes, I know I have my uncle with me all the time, now. And Steve, Peggy – You! But what will happen after the war ends? Everyone will go their own ways then" "You think?" "Colonel Philips will stay in the Army, Peggy and Steve will start something together – at least I hope so and I-" "We could be together too, you know?" "You think that will work? Honestly?" "You don't?" "James-" "Here we go" "Please listen. You are not as bad as I thought, you are a really nice guy. A little bit chaotic but through and through loveable, charismatic, aesthetic, good looking, and you can be a gentleman. Many women lie at your feet, and I believe you would find a good looking one to be your future wife one day. So why me? I do not have a wife's potential. So why me? I really do not get it, not at all!" he listened, nodded his head, and took a sip of the scotch. "You think you are not loveable?" "That's not what I asked. Why me? I was never nice to you. Never" "Good question! Great question! I-I don't know-" "Bucky-" "let me finish! I do not know the correct answer. But….. in the 10th grade – it was a pretty hot summer day, so the school ended earlier – as soon as you left the school, you sat down on this old bench in front of the school. You wore a summer dress in decent light blue with a darker color gradient. Your hair was up in a messy bun, and a few strands hang out. So you sat there, with a black book in your hands with golden letters on it, and we're just reading. It seemed like you were completely sunken into these pages until Steve walked over to you and talked to you. You looked up and had the most beautiful smile on your ever I ever saw. Bright and full of joy! And immediately, I felt warm and happy. This was the only time I ever saw it on you, and somehow-" he interrupted his sentence and smiled warmly and in total nostalgia. "Somehow, I wanted to be the reason for that smile. Claw --- do you believe in love at first sight? I know it sounded pathetic, but at that moment – in that little moment – I started to had a crush on you. So I talked to Steve, and he wanted to introduce me to you, at that summer ball, when I vomited on your dress. Good first impression, right? After that, I noticed you couldn't stand me, but I didn't want to give up because no matter how many times a girl smiled at me, I never had that feeling again, and that's why I cannot let you go! Not without a serious try! Can you --- can you understand that Claw? Even though you do not believe in that?" you listened to every word that he said, and even if you do not understand the reasoning, you somehow understand his emotional situation. "That why you wrote the letters?" "mhm, yes! At the front – when people try to kill you, you find yourself in the position to write a bucket list, and you know what? Giving It a try with you was the first thing that came to my mind. So I started to write you these letters. Worst case scenario? I got to shoot, and it was just a stupid idea" he did a shoulder shrug and grabbed the bottle to take a sip – the last one. "When I think about it now, it was just a stupid idea. Instead of accepting these sad feelings and admitting them," he stood up from his seat and grabbed his jacket, swung it over one shoulder, and grabbed his heat. "I start to get tipsy. Didn't drink that much in a while; I guess I will go to bed now," he explained. "Normally, I would try to sneak a good night kiss or would try to seduce you – well… I guess not tonight. You didn't seem to have decided yet if you want to give it a try yourself. I might be a jerk compared to you, but I am not that stupid" he pinched together his eyes because the dizziness started to grow. "So it's up to you now. Tell me if you like me enough to try or don't" he shrugged his shoulders and head towards the exit. "Oh and –" he turned around for another time. "Have a good night, Agent Claw" "That's not –"you smiled and shook your head. "Good night, Sergeant Barnes – Bucky" you nodded and saw him go. Good question, by the way: do you want to give it a try or not? Maybe it's not the right time to think about that, right now. You were tipsy, tired and it was late in the night. You should go to sleep yourself and rethink your choices for a second in the morning.

The next day was a calm one. This short before a new mission, it was usually hushed on the foothold. The soldiers prepared themselves for the next big thing, and the strategic department hadn't any work left. The plans were made and given to the soldiers, so it was up to them to do as they told. Peggy was fuzzy as usual and studied the method for tomorrow's mission over and over again, in case there was a leak, but there wasn't. So your uncle and yourself were pretty relaxed and were just sitting around.

So you got yourself a quiet place in the conference room, where you gabbed a swivel chair and rotate a little bit while you stare at the ceiling. You wanted to make another full turn when someone stopped your chair. You didn't even notice someone came in. "Hey Claw" "Steve! Stressed out because of tomorrow?" "Not really. Can I have a seat?" "Sure," he placed himself in front of you on another chair. "I guess we have to talk," he started and looked you drop dead serious in the eyes. "Do we?" "About Bucky? I guess we have to. Honestly, I never thought I needed to give a girl a Bucky Speech, but I guess there is a first time for everything" "A Bucky Speech? Seriously, Steve?" "Don't worry, he got the Claw Speech already" "There is a Speech about me? What did you tell him?" he gave you that glace, that he would not tell you this and you didn't care too much. "When I imagined this moment, I always thought I would actually write down all the points I am about to talk about. Thinks like: he is a good man, chaotic but honest, he will care for you and be a good husband and so on and on…. But I guess I do not have to tell you that. You either already know that or don't care, so I can save it for later-" he started to knead his hands as he would be nervous or tensed, Something like that. "Actually, I have to take a different approach. We – we both – know each other for many years, so I can claim that I know you! I know the character you made up to keep the world and their problems away from you. I know the character you turn on when you meet someone you don't like AND – most importantly – I know your real self. And I know that you never let anybody near you, especially not people you weren't so sure about. All the more, it surprised me that you and Bucky started to getting a – a thing. But Claw… Bucky is not like you, you know? He has his edges and mistakes, but he is – open. He is open, honest, truthful, brave, strong, and… delicate. He would never show or tell you, but he very sensitive sometimes, and you? You keep delicate and sensitive as far away as possible. You do that because you are afraid of getting hurt, and you do it successfully. It took me a few years to figure that out, and I think Bucky didn't realize it by now. I am afraid he will find out too late when he got already been hurt by you. Listen, we – you and I – will stay friends – good friends, I hope. But… if you do not take Bucky seriously, tell him now and not, when he already fall for you. Because somehow-" he laughed a little bit. "Somehow, he really is in love with you. I guess the saying that opposite attracted was never as true as right now. You get what I want to say?" you listened to every single word, and he had some points. You thought about it yourself a few times by now. And from a simple logical viewpoint, it was more consistent to turn Bucky down. But somehow, you couldn't. You had him, and you knew that, and now you didn't want to let him go. He was yours now. "I understand your concerns" you nodded slowly and smiled. "But I do not share your concerns" Steve knit his eyebrows and looked confused at you. You just shrugged the shoulders slowly and smiled. "D-Does that mean that you--?" "Well…" "Really, Claw? Bucky? You and Bucky?" "There is no Me and Bucky yet. But maybe? I don't know" "For real? I would never ever bet on that" "It's strange for me too. Such a new and unusual feeling, but Bucky isn't as bad as I used to think about him" "So that means you – you are actually trying?" "I try… trying…? Is that correct? I don't know, Steve! The first time I do Something completely illogical in my life, I didn't feel too bad. Guess it's right, but I don't know. I somehow cannot go fully in, if you understand what I am saying. I overthink a lot right now. So I hope Bucky has a little patience left for me to wait a few more days until I have decided finally" you shook your head and smiled. You liked that picture with you and Bucky more and more in your head, even if it was a strange one. Guess strange was your new thing – your new preference. "okay then… actually…. I don't know what to say anymore!" he stood up, a little bit perplexed still and wanted to leave the room. "Good luck for tomorrow. The mission," you said before he left.

The next day was pretty busy on the base. Since it was the second mission, everything was more detailed and had more context. He changed from the last mission where noted, and a detailed site plan was rolled on the big round table. Every member of the howling commando, which was involved in the current mission, had a Walkie-Talkie to stay in contact with the base. For time management reasons, every member got their own person of strategic support. Of course, it happened that you got Bucky this time since he was the Sniper of the group and needed to have everything on hand. Everything went after the plan they developed until Bucky talked via funk with you. "Hey Claw" "Hm?" "We got a problem" "Problem? Which kind of Problem?" "A big one" "What happened?" "There is a bomb. And it is definitely activated. Some of the scientists turned this thing on when we entered the building" Your uncle heard it and came up to you and grabbed the radio. "Sergeant Barnes, here Colonel Philips. Does the bomb have a time display?" a few moments, nothing happened when Bucky reported back. "It does. It was hidden" "What does the time say?" "two minutes and less" "Is there any opportunity that you guys could just run?" "Negative, Sir. This facility is like a labyrinth. We needed minutes to enter the central point" your uncle shook his head and put the radio down. "This is not good," he whispered before he turned around and screamed into the room. "Is there a bomb specialist here? Anywhere near?" but he didn't get an answer. "Remind me to put a bomb specialist on the shopping list" he turned towards you and retook the radio. "Sergeant Barnes. We do not have technical support here. I would recommend running as fast as you guys can and looking for a safe spot to survive the explosion somehow," and he waited for an answer. "But Sir, we could try to defuse the bomb" "Negative! We do not have a specialist here, and you guys do not know it either" "But the explosion could kill many innocent soldiers, which are captivated here as experiments!" your uncle pinched his eyes together and shook his head. This was a sorrowful and bitter moment because there was no help for these soldiers. He needed to make sure his own people get out there safely. "I repeat! Get your asses out there!" "But Colonel-"this was when you had enough and grabbed the radio yourself. "James Buchanan Barnes! Do what you were told and get yourself and your teammates a safe spot to survive the explosion somehow!" then it was silent for just a few moments, but it felt like hours. "I am sorry. I will try to defuse the bomb!" "Bucky no-" and then the signal got lost, and the Walkie-Talkie went down. "Bucky?" you pressed the button to reconnect your radio with his, but no chance there was a connection build. "James?" you tried again, but there was just a monotony rush instead of his voice. "Sergeant Barnes! James! Bucky!" but there was no connection build. "Someone else?!" your uncle called into the room, but all the others shook their head. Even Peggy had lost her connection to Steve. "all Radios are down, Sir!" "Great. Really great! Get me a technical link to our Team somehow! Wha-What about Stark? He is waiting for our Team to bring them home with a plane! Can we get him on the Phone somehow?" "We are trying!" someone in the base was running around to try out different telephone links and radio frequencies. Then you felt a hand on your shoulder, and when you looked up, it was your uncle. He didn't say anything; he just looked in your eyes, as he wanted to say, that there are not dead and you would have enough time to shoot Bucky your own. Then he went off to try to find a connection to Stark.

It took about 10 minutes to reach out to Stark, who told them that they are safe on board his plane. All of them, the Howling commando and the saved soldiers. Apparently, Bucky just ripped out every cable possible at once, and that somehow worked. Well, seemed to be his Lucky day, at least for now. You had slightly different planes with the hero of the day. And congratulating him wasn't part of that.

You went outside as soon as you heard how a plane was landing. When you stepped outside, you already saw the group of man, walking away from the aircraft towards you and the base behind you. In the middle were Steve and Bucky, while Steve tapped Buck's shoulder as a sign of congratulation. He smiled and laughed, looked around, and everybody was more than happy to be home safely instead of you. You were standing there, in the middle of the base entrance with crossed arms and starring the guys down, which they didn't notice yet. So you started walking towards them until they see your presence. Bucky was the first one, smiled brightly over his whole face, and raised a hand for a welcoming wave towards you. You didn't reply to that and just walked up to him. "Hey Claw!" when he was nearer, he ran the last few meters and stopped in front of you. "I-I am sorry, the radio just went down, and we couldn't keep contact anymore" as proof, he holds up the wholly destroyed Walkie-Talkie. "Mhm," you nodded slightly and didn't even look at the Walkie-Talkie; instead, you gave him a death stare, which kind of scared him. And before he could react, you already gave him a horizontal elbow strike on his cheekbone, making him stagger a few steps back. He releases a painful groan and holds his cheekbone.

Immediately a severe headache started to grow, but you didn't care much. "Sergeant Barnes," you growled, smoothed your clothing, turned around, and walked away. This time, he deserved it! He put himself in a dangerous situation, made it look like his chaotic ass got blown up in the air, and now he pretended to like, nothing happened? Praise the Lord, she was angry. Not just angry, she was about to raise the hell and let it collapse above his head. He was done with living; he just didn't know it by now. Maybe he should ask Cap for his bulletproof shield because he will need it next time he meets her.

Of course, your uncle got the news of what happened and had to disciplinary you. He had a 'no fighting in the team' police, and he was strict. You hit Bucky in front of everybody in the Unit. In consideration of his higher military rank, it was a violation of his authority. Which couldn't be tolerated within the military and especially not in the Unit of your uncle. Since he understands that Sergeant Barnes somehow deserved it, you just had to protocol the incident in your own file by yourself. Writing down things like this was horrible. You had to be honest; it needed to be factual and detailed. That forced you to rethink your actions and made sure that it would never happen again. Under different circumstances, you would get a disciplinary procedure and get kicked out of the military; dishonorable discharge would be called. Your uncle sends you to the secretary's rooms, to get your report done and he wanted it in the evening. So you sat there, with a pen in your hand and paper in front of you on the desk and just starred it down. You know it was stupid what you did, but he deserved it so much! This idiot! This stupid, stupid idiot! A knocking on the door ripped you out of your thoughts. You looked up and saw Bucky standing there. His cheek was swollen and already turned a little bit blue. He looked like a lost puppy or even better – he looked like a puppy who knows he did Something wrong and tried to apologize with big eyes and a cute face. "Claw…?" his voice was flat, and he had that questioning tone in it. "May I-" he couldn't even finish the sentence, as fast as you grabbed the stapler and throw it at him. At least he was fast enough to dodge, but the stapler crashed into the hallway wall and broke into pieces. He looked at the shattered thing and turned his head just in time to see that you already throw the hole puncher at him. "You Idiot!" you shouted at him, stood up from your seat, and grabbed all possible things to throw after him. He managed to dodge every time and didn't get hit. "You are an incompetent and complete idiot! I hate you – God knows I HATE you!" you grabbed a cup standing on the desk and tried to go for the head, but you missed somehow. "I wish you would have blown up!" next thing was a notebook, and you were incredible unerring when it came down to hit him. Lucky him, he was fast. "I really was thinking about letting you in my little world, where it is just me and myself, working together but YOU-!" you even got the writing machine to throw at him. "manage to make me angry all the time! Every time I thought, you changed for the better, you came around the corner with the next stupid action, and it's done!" now you went for the desk lamp. "And then you are coming up to me, with that puppy eyes, and think everything is good again? Nooooo NOT this time!" you throw the lamp at him. After that, have you run out of items. You breathed heavily, and the anger was written all over your face. Bucky somehow covered his head with his arms and looked down at all the broken things to his feet. This was a whole new stage of angry for you. "I am honestly this short away from shooting you right here right now! How does it even crossed your mind that you could defuse a bomb build by Hydra with technology we do not fully understand?! HOW? Tell me how?! You could have died, Bucky!" "St-Steve was there too. Why do you not try to murder him?" "Because he is super-soldier, but you are not! You are as normal as I am, and our life is faster over than his!" you needed to take a few deep breaths when you saw the gears turning in his mind. And then, a bright and warm smile came on across his face. "You---- want me? Seriously? For real?" "Wanting you? I want that you start to delate those stupid ideas in your mind!" "But you want me? Want me as yours?" "What are you? A cup you can borrow?" "Claw!" he rushed over to you and smiled at you like a little schoolboy. Even when you tried to kill him in the past minutes, he is still all yours - like a puppy. He looped his arms around your waist and presses his forehead against your temple. You were still a little grumpy and didn't want to look in his face, so you turned your head slightly away from his, towards the door of the room. All these broken things, when your uncle sees that, he would be as angry as you were when you did that. "But please try to kill me not as often, yes?" "You don't decide that!" you growled. Then you heard immediate steps in the hallway, and shortly after, you saw Steve with his shield standing there and looking down at the stuff on the ground. "What the hell-"you fast grabbed Bucky's short handgun and shoot a few times at Steve. Of course, he raised his shield as protection, so he didn't get hurt. Peggy told you she did this one time with him, so you were sure he managed to shield himself from the bullets. Bucky had let go of you and retracted his head when you gave him back his gun. "You are an idiot too!" you growled at Steve when you decided to leave the room and the two boys behind. Boys will be boys and will do stupid things all the time.

"You are so bad at this-" she laughed because he tickled her while she wanted to move one of her chess figures. "Checkmate, my friend" "Mhm," he just murmur a little bit and continued the work he was doing. It was a nice and quiet morning after another mission. When he arrived after two whole days back at the base, the first thing he did was hijacking you and detaining you in his room. Since he was a Sergeant, he had his own four-wall, which came in handy right now. So after 2 days and a tough mission, he wanted to relax with you and maybe do Something more fun, and you had no complaints about it. The result was, you two sleep way too long in the morning, but obviously, nobody seemed to care. Looked like nobody needed one of you at the moment. And instead of just lying lazily in the bed, you suggest playing a round of chess. Bucky had a total lack of talent; besides, he was busy caress your back a little bit. So he wasn't able to fully concentrate on the game, and he didn't even try. He wanted the game to be over, so your full concentration would be on him again. "You smell different when you are awake, you know that?" "What?" you knitted your eyebrows and rolled over on your back to look in his face. He was still a little bit drowsy with wild and fuzzy hair but with that satisfied glow all over his face. "I had no idea; you were into that," he smirked blissfully. "I would love to do that again," and a little mica of hope came up in his eyes. "James!" "Well… maybe not you are right. My back and neck are full of scratches. It would be hard to explain that" he smirked and layer his head next to yours, and but his body over yours. He was tired, and it was no surprise. He came back from a hard mission, and then you kept him awake all night. You felt how his body got heavier and heavier; he was again about to fall asleep. "Bucky, "you put your hand on the backside of his head and started to caress his hair and head, and immediately, you heard a pleasing little purr from him. "Yesterday, Stark finished your new uniform. Remember that? You should go and try it on to see if it fits," but he didn't give you a reaction. He probably just played dead. "Don't pretend like you're asleep. Should I find a way to wake you up- " "No!" promptly, he raised his head and body from yours and sit up. He pinched his eyes for a second and rub over his face a few times before he crawled towards the end of the bed and sat down on the edge of the bed. He put his elbows on his knees and let his head hanging. "Please don't get me wrong. I would love to have another round with you, honestly. But-" he looked over his shoulder and saw you laying in the white sheets on the bed. You rolled over to lie on your side. Your body well-formed, elegant with nice curves, smooth and soft skin, your head propped on your hand, and your hair falling down in great curls, which had a little shine from the morning sun. You grabbed a little piece of fabric to cover your au naturel body a little bit. Enough to make him resist his inner drives but not enough to stop tempting him. He got a little taste last night. How it was to be desired by you and how sensuous you are. It was incredible and stand in such a contrast to how you behave during the day. Honestly, he didn't think you could be that passionate and how you cloud his senses. And then you smile, that delicate but devilish little smile, almost cocky as you would know you could get him back in bed anytime. You just needed to slip the sheet from your body. "Stop that, please. I beg you" he shook his head and looked away. He never expected to be on this side of the story, being the one who got captured and turned into jelly when the significant other had that specific look on their face. Normally it was always him to seduce the woman, but this time around, he got seduced. "But Sergeant…" this tone in your voice gave him chills and prickles in the stomach. He heard how you moved on the bed, and a second later, you entangle your arms around his neck and shoulders, your bare upper body pressed against his naked back. "But it's not appropriate for a Sergeant to beg," you whispered into his ear, with your lips slightly graze his ears and your hot breath hunting down his neck and jawline, so he got goosebumps. Oh, sweet, sweet temptation. "Maybe I can offer myself to you in the evening?" "You are not a barter object" you gave him a little kiss on the cheek and let him go. "Do not forget to visit Stark!" you let yourself fall – back first – down in the bed again. Because of that, the chess game fell down on the floor. Guess you had to clean it up before you leave his room. After finally managed to get up and being dressed properly, you had to go back to work. Since it's the first day after a mission, you had plenty of time to go back to the headquarters office to do the paperwork. Luckily for you, Steve was fast with his mission reports, so you could at least start with Something, but the other Soldiers will take their time with writing down everything. Because of that, the training room was free today, so it was your chance to get a little exercise without the guys and maybe a meeting with Peggy and your uncle to analyze the newest target facility for the next mission. But actually, she just wanted to stay in bed for the whole day. She felt relaxed and light as it has not been for a long time. Was a great – wonderful – feeling, but after all, there is a war going on, and there is no time for relaxing. "What's your plan for the day?" you looked over to Bucky, who was already half-dressed and just needed to put on a shirt. "Work" the daylight was falling through the window directly on his body. Looked like liquid silk because his skin color was very light and unscathed. "Work?" "Paperwork" "Should I come and save you from the bad paperwork?" "I know you would love to, but this paperwork is essential for your next mission" "Claw," he moaned, annoyed. "I am not even 12 hours back, and you are already talking about the next one?" "Destroying the facilities is the top priority! We need to get it done as fast as possible" "I know, but-" "Bucky. As sooner we are done with this, as sooner the war might be over" "Uhm by the way…. Do you have any plans when it's all done? After the War?" "No. Not really" you knit your eyebrows. "I guess I will start studying Something? Maybe anything like that. What about you?" he shrugged his shoulders and put on a shirt. "You know, the usual: Job, House, Wife, and children. Nothing spectacular, just Something I can call my own" "That… actually sounds nice" "Oh and a dog" "Hmpf… I would like a cat" "We can have both" he winked at you and left the room before you could think about his words more. "WE?!" but before you could have a real protest, he was already out of the door.

You were already a few months into it, destroying Hydra and the liaison you had with Bucky, and it was perfect. Sadly the Hydra mission proceeded sluggishly since their head scientist, Dr. Armin Zola, was still free. When they destroyed one facility, he was building a new one somewhere else on the planet. So your uncle came up with a new priority: capturing Zola. Easier said as done since the SSR never knew where he actually was. You also lost track of Red Skull, so it was a big mess on that side. But the good thing was that every time you find and shut down a Hydra base, you learned new things about their technology, and Stark went straight to the technology heaven. Every time the Howling Commando brought back new weapons to analyze and create new ones, Stark was heavily busy.

Speaking of the Howling Commando – they went to their next mission in Germany this time. This one was long and took over a week but 'luckily' for you, Bucky did not go with them. The reason for that was, he got hurt, so Steve decided to let him at the base, so he could cure completely. So he was staying at the bottom, much to your delight, and even better was the fact that it was up to you to make sure he cured well. Your uncle gave you that task, not knowing what you two would actually do, since the whole Bucky and Claw thing were still a secret and nobody noticed by now. It is hard to believe, looking at the fact that you two were heavily marked by each other all over your bodies and went missing at the same time. Seemed like that everybody was entirely concentrated on the overall mission, so nobody had attention left to notice what was going on with you two.

"Ouch, Claw!" "You are such a baby, Bucky" you rolled your eyes and let off from his shoulder and massages his lower back, which relaxed him immediately. The wound, because of which he was left here, was a woof through his shoulder. He got it while he had a hand to hand fight with one of the guards on the last mission. Earlier this morning, he complained about back pain and had the idea that you could give him a massage, and of course, he would return the favor, so you agreed. "I need to cure! You should be gentle with me" "Ladies and Gentleman, the Sergeant" "You know, what you are doing, is called: disrespecting a higher-ranked person, right?" "You know what it called, what you are doing is? Taking advantage of a higher position of power," and as an answer, he just growled. "Baby…" you whispered again and stopped the massage. Your hands were tired, and besides the fact, you had an appointment. "What? Why you stopped?" "My deepest apologies, but-"you reached out for his bed desk and grabbed his pocket watch. "I have plans" "Plans? What plans?" "I will meet Stark in his laboratory" "Why?" "Because he has a new weapon for me. My old gun didn't work anymore, and he offered me to build a new one with new technology" "You know he is flirting with you, right? Since Peggy and Steve devouring each other with their eyes, he had caught an eye on you" "I know," you didn't sound concerned or even surprised. More like you didn't care too much. "You know?" "Wasn't hard to recognize. I really have to go-"you stood up from the bad and grabbed your clothing and put your stuff on under the vigilant eyes of Bucky. "I think I can convince you to stay…" "I am sure you can" you smirked and button your blouse. "The fun doesn't have to end, you know. We could stay in bed the whole day if you want to" "Bucky…. There is still much to do. War is not over yet" "God, I wish it would be over soon" "When we capture Zola and Red Skull, it will be over, for sure. Then we can stay in bed all day long" "I hope this day will come soon. You know what I was thinking about?" propped up his upper body and slide to the side of the bed to sit on the edge. He reached out to our hands, grabbed them gently, and pulled you closer to him. "No?" you put your hands down on his should and starts to play with his hair. "After the War is finished, I take you out for dancing. We will have a real date and another and another and another, But – here is the clue – after every date, I take you home" "That's the clue? This is good education, Bucky!" "No, no, you miss the point. I take you home, and I am going home with you. I mean, I am taking you to our home" "Our home?" you knit your eyebrows a little, be skeptical about his idea. "Wouldn't you like that? A small house in the city? O-Or a flat! Maybe a flat would be enough for a start, we still need room to grow. You can have your cat!" "Bucky-" "I know, I know, it's much to think about! I am telling you this is because my sister got her second child and will move out of our parents' flat. She and her husband will move into a house so the flat would be available. It's a big one, with plenty enough space for a second person" you wanted to say Something and opened your mouth, but no word came out. It was safe to say that you were a little overwhelmed with that suggestion. "You do not have to answer now. She will sublet the flat until I come back home. When the times come, you can come with me if you want to" "Bucky--- don't you think this is going way too fast?" "No – well – I mean, it's an option. Just a possibility you can keep in mind if you want to. When my sister and her family are gone, it will be quiet in the flat. I assume you will have the same at your home since your father is gone" "You are right, but-" "Hey," he smiled softly. "You do not have to decide now. Just think about it, okay?" you smiled back and slowly nodded. "Now you should go. Stark is for sure already waiting for you" "Right! See you later" you gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and then you left the room.

You went down to Starks laboratory to look for your new weapon. It was a big basement, just for him, since his inventions had the unpleasant habit of exploding from time to time. So your uncle gave him the basement, which was initially build to be an atomic bunker. You opened the big, heavy metal door and wanted to call after Stark when he popped up in front of you out of the blue. "I expected you hours ago!" he raised one eyebrow and looked suspicious at you. "I had…. Something to do" "Something, hun? Guess you didn't get much sleep, based on the circles under your eyes, Darling" "What do you hint at?" "You know what I mean – anyway! Your weapon, this way, my love" he points at a table at the end of the room where you should go over.

"So what can it do?" you saw a little weapon, ideal for having in it with you in a purse or at the belt. The thing was with women and Weapons that they have to be smaller, as usual, to sneak them with you all the time. "Basically working like a normal handgun but with significantly more shots, and I built it lighter than normal. It is basically a normal gun, but I took out the extra weight. Is that what you wanted?" you took the weapon and turned it over and over a few times to see it from all perspectives. Indeed it was incredibly light and handy. "exactly what I wanted" "I am glad I could make you happy. So…. How is Sergeant Barnes?" "Why?" "I don't know-" he shrugged his shoulder and had that all-knowing- look on his face paired with a smirk. "Howard, I have a loaded weapon in my hand. Do you think this is the right moment for unappropriated questions?" you gave him a strong glace with no room for false interpretations. He opened his mouth to say Something, when the light went down and the earsplitting sound of siren halls through the building. "What in God's name-"Stark covered his ears with his hands, but you know the sound of that siren – the signal for everybody in the building that enemies managed to enter the base. "Guess I have to try her out now!" you grabbed the second magazine and put it in your belt. "Hey, Stark! You can use a gun?" "Sure I can!" "Good. Grab one, we have to fight" you unlock your gun and head for the exit of the bunker. A quick look left and right to make sure the enemies are not on the hallway, and then you went straight for the way in the upper floors. Your steps were as quiet as possible, but luckily the heavy sound of the siren was covering most of your own noises you made.

On the other hand, it was also covering possible noises of the others. If this attack was a coincidence, it was a pretty good one for the others. All the Soldiers were out for missions, and the base was just protected by a few ones. Bad for them that you were one of these soldiers. Since you joined the SSR, your uncle and Peggy teach you how to use many handguns and how your combat fight style got better. Long story short: you are as good as any other soldier in this base!

Together with Stark, you reached the elevator and the stairs for the upper floors. Just in time, because the siren shut down and the light went on again. Favorably for you, no attacker was in sight. "Stark," you whispered his name and looked up the stairs. "Yes?" "You take the elevator; I do the stairs. If you see traitors – shoot!" "But-" "Shoot! Go" you shoo him in the direction of the elevator and yourself took the stairs.

Slowly and with the greatest caution you had, you went up the stairs. All your senses tensioned like a bow, ready to shoot. Step by step, you got higher and higher, but you heard nothing; even when the elevator reached the next floor before you, you couldn't hear Stark shooting or saying Something. Maybe the traitors think the basis would be completely empty or Something like that. Stark was already waiting for you when you went on the next floor and looking in the opposite direction. "I can't see anybody!" "Me neither. And I can't hear anything" "Maybe they went for the main office? At least that would be the room I would be looking for if I would break into a military basis. That the place with the most information!" he suggested, and it made absolute sense. "Okay. I am going for the office, and you go and check if anybody is going for your laboratory" "What? We just came from there" "I know, but this would be the second spot I would check out—the Armory. If Hydra is behind that attack, they probably want their technology back" "Well…. Yeah, that makes sense. Be careful!" "Same to you, Stark. See you later" he just nodded his head and took the stairs down again. Since the base was low on Soldiers and battle-tested others, you had to cover the most critical spots. Even when it meant that you have to split up into one-man teams. That was not a good idea at all, because now you didn't have anybody left to cover your back. Anyway – you somehow had a mission to fulfill.

On your way to the main office, you didn't saw any traitors or similar. Slowly you got the feeling that this was just a practice round, and nobody knew about it. The alarm had to be activated manually by one of your colleagues in the monitoring room to warn everybody. Why on earth you had the feeling that your uncle was sitting in front of the camera to see how the base would be protected without the soldiers in it? Like, he wanted to make sure it's safe here when the howling commando wasn't around. It would make sense, in your mind, because that was a pretty strange coincidence that you got attacked while nobody was here. Just people from inside this building knew about the mission and when they got executed. Either way, there was no room for mistakes. You didn't want to look like an idiot in front of your uncle when it was training. And you didn't want to die when it was a real attack.

Soon you reached the main office and went to it, to check if somebody was there. As you went in, you saw that a person – entirely in black – was looking through the papers on the table. The documents laying out there were mission reports about former and future missions you had in mind, and this traitor over there was looking at them. Shit happens; this was a real attack. "Hands up!" you targeted your gun on the person, and it turned around fast, and the face was not covered. It was a younger man, stocky build, with two guns at his belt. He looked a little surprised but didn't seem too worried about you, as soon as he realized that you were just a woman. "Same to you-" behind yourself, you heard another male voice and the clicking sound of a gun, which got unlocked. See, that's the problem when you do stuff like this alone without someone covering your back. "Come 'on, pretty Lady. Drop the gun!" you had no choice but to raise your hands with the gun in your hand. The man in front of you started smiling in a dirty way. "She is indeed pretty" "Shut up," you growled at them. There was no way you could shoot the one without the other shooting at you. You needed a miracle, and you already know how to get one. Bucky was in the building, and he couldn't be that far away, so you needed to gain a little bit of time for him – or anybody else – to get here. "What are you looking for? Need a little help?" "Thanks, but we do not need a secretary" "I am not a secretary, Asshole" you press your jaws onto each other. Maybe you should have deleted that 'asshole,' but he deserved it. "She is a feisty one," the man behind you laughed. "Maybe we can keep her for further things" "She is pretty, but not so pretty. When I am done here, you can shoot her" the man In front of you was going through the papers with the peace in the world. You wanted to say something snappy, as you heard gunshots behind you, and you looked over your shoulder. The man who was pointing the gun at you went down, and Bucky came around the corner. Out of instinct, you targeted your gun at the man in front of you, but it was a little bit too late. The man in front of you pulled out his guns and was shooting at you, and Bucky and you two shoot back. You got him directly, and he got down too, but there was something extraordinary. You had this huge pain in your abdomen, and you felt how it got wetter and wetter around your belly. Unbelievable, that fucking idiot got you. A quick look down and you saw that your originally white blouse was dyed red. "Claw!" somehow, Bucky appeared in front of you. Your awareness was clearly affected. There was just so much pain in your body. It hurt so much like you would burn from the inside, and with every beat of your heart, the pain got worse and worse. It was like, you couldn't even see or hear anymore because your brain was so busy with the pain in your abdomen. You couldn't feel your legs anymore, as they would be numb or something like that, and your eyelids got heavier and heavier. It was so exhausting to stand, be awake or breathe – just ---- so exhausting. You could feel how your body just collapsed and was about to fell down. You could hear someone screaming, calling your name over and over again, but it was like, as he would speak with cotton in his mouth. Or as you hat cotton in your ears. You couldn't understand words anymore, neither did you hear anything. It went slowly down, as your body would just shut down, and you started to freeze. It was so cold around here and so dark and silent, but the good thing was, the pain began to fade away. It got better and better, as more unconscious it got and your heart didn't pump as much anymore. Just a little bit, as it would go on a pilot flame. Funny feeling to feel how the body slowly relaxed and got lighter. A….. really…. Funny….. feeling.

Meanwhile…

The noises in the hospital were torturing his mind like someone would strike him with a baseball bat over and over again. Why was it so loud here? All the people talking, children crying, nurses running, and doctors rattle with medicine bottles. All the movements in the corner of his eyes, making him aggressive and nervous. Every time a door was opened, he looked up, just to see it wasn't a nurse or doctor with an operation smock. Besides all the noises, he still could hear the gunshots in his head, as they would remind him that he failed this time. No, no, it wasn't too late for her! He brought her here, carrying her all the way down the street in this hospital. He put pressure on the wound all the time and making a tourniquet, and she was still breathing when she got here. The doctors immediately took care of her and brought her into the surgery room. He did everything right, everything he learned to do if someone got shot in a sensitive area and she was strong! So strong! She would fight for her life, right? She would. He gave her plenty of reasons to fight, so she will get better. She will! She had to! His legs seesaw up and down nervously, he tugged his hair, was rubbing his face, looking around all the time, breathing heavily, and looked like a mess. The sweat ran down his face and back; he must have looked like a homeless from the street. His shirt all dirty and covered with blood, as so his hands, and there was a little bit on his neck too. Carrying her to the hospital wasn't the best idea for his wounded shoulder, so he had great pain in that, but he was ignoring it. He told Stark to inform the Colonel and Peggy that he would be here at the hospital. So he waited. Waited, waited, and waited for hours. The next time when he heard a door and raised his head, he saw the Colonel, Peggy, and Steve (?) coming through the door. As soon as the little group spotted him, she stood up and salute, like the soldier he was, because of the Colonel. "Sir" "You look horrible; what happened, Sergeant?" "T-traitors entered the building and tried to steal important information. There was an exchange of fire and Claw – I mean Agent ---- she got to shoot" "Great, and why didn't you cover her? Hm?" "Colonel!" Peggy intervened before he could go after Bucky, who just stood still and listened to his harsh tone. "Oh, to hell with you! Where do I find someone you can give me information's about my niece!" he was rushing by Bucky and towards a little group of nurses. "Bucky" Steve took a step closer and put a hand on his shoulder. "I-I shot one of them and didn't saw the other…." His voice was shaky, and he blinked a few times to keep away the tears. "I-I …. ""Bucky," Steve grabbed his shoulder and pulled him closer into a brotherly hug. He knows how he must felt. When he lost his mother – Sarah �� he felt devastated and lost. Everything went dark, and his inward was filled with grieve and darkness. It seems like there was no way out and that this kind of suffering would never end. Like an endless horrible nightmare. "I tried to…. I was so fast" "I know. I know" Steve shook his head. "Don't do this to yourself, Buck. She is not dead, not yet, right?" "No" Bucky freed himself from the hug and ran stressed through his hair. "When – When I got her here, she was breathing, and they said she still has a heartbeat. I told them I would wait here, but they didn't come out of the surgery room since then. If she were dead, they would have told me, right? Right?!" "Yes," Peggy nodded her head calmly. She didn't know if that was true, but Bucky was on the edge of a mental breakdown. Steve looked over the shoulder and looked thankful to Peggy. "We will stay here and wait. We wait until we got news about her condition" he padded his shoulder and offered Bucky to sit down again. Peggy and Steve sat next to him, one at each side. He was so nervous and tensed – Steve never saw him like this. "I-I-"Bucky started to say something and shook his head. He needed to talk about something; he couldn't stand the silence with all the noises around him hammer down on his head all the time. So he needed to distract his brain from going crazy. "We had a talk in the morning before she went down to Starks Bunker for her weapon ---- Rebecca will move from our parent's flat, so I ask her if she would like to move in instead. You should have seen her, looked at me shocked like a deer in headlights" he smiled tiredly. "Did I ask too soon?" he turned his head towards Peggy. "Well… depending on how far you are in your accord?" "I-I don't know, actually. I never knew what was going on inside her head. She was always very devious with her thoughts and behaviors. Did you know-" he smiled when he was thinking back. "That when I first kissed her, she slapped me in the face? Two times! And, bruised my nose and rips" "That's sound like Claw" Steve needed to smile too, he could image that lively, how she did that. She was fiery and sultry when she wanted it, even if she tried her best to be cold and distanced. When you knew her better and longer, you could see how her real- self come through. She was like a fire; you could easily get burned if you get her on the wrong foot, but – if you did it right – was full of warmth and beauty. "God, I really felt for her. Even when he tried to kill me multiple times" "Did she?" Peggy asked, and both guys needed to laugh a little bit. "She did. She throws every possible office equipment after me – hehe – she is really something special. Very special… rare! I got a rare gem," and fast, his glance went from happily reminiscing to an unfortunate reality. "No – don't even think about it," Steve could see, which ugly thought came across his mind and wanted to hinder him from overthinking about it. Bucky wanted to say something when the Colonel came back and stood in front of the tree. Altogether, they stood up and looked, waiting for news. He took a deep breath and started explaining. "She will get better soon. Nothing permanent or serious, just an enormous loss of blood, which will be recovered in a few days. She was Lucky" he took another deep breath and looked straight at Bucky and wanted to say something, but closed his mouth and thought about it again. "All tree if you look horrible, especially you, Barnes! Nevertheless, someone needs to stay here overnight if the intruders' allies will come back to finish it. I will go back to the base and check what they were trying to steal, and the Sergeant will stay here with my niece" then he just turned around and was about to leave the hospital and leave behind surprised people. "Well…" after a few moments, Peggy broke the silence and turned towards Bucky. "You should go then, and we both will see if we can help the Colonel. Steve? Let's got" "Alright," he nodded and looked smiling at Bucky. "See, everything turned out fine. She will be okay soon, so go to see her," and then, Steve and Peggy left the hospital too.

When you awoke, you were in the hospital. You could quickly tell, by the scent of antiseptics, the sad white and sterile walls, and not least of the noises the room makes. The monotonic beep of the mechanicals next to her and the Nurses calling for doctors and medicaments on the floor. You could not remember much, your memories were pretty blurry, but you knew that someone shoots at you and got you. You needed to blink a few times because the room was pretty light. You felt pressure and soft stroking movements at your hand and underarm, so you tried to move your head a little bit to see who it was. As soon as you saw the short brown hair, you knew it was Bucky.

"Hey," your voice was thin, flat, and scratchy, and as soon as Bucky heard it, he raised his head. Man – this guy looks tired and pale like a poltergeist. "I don't have a mirror ---- but ---- I think I look better than you" "Well-" he smiled exhausted, "I aged 10 years since I am in this hospital" "You did?" you tried to smile too, but you were tired yourself. "I am a shadow of myself – the doc's said that you will be good in a few days. You just lost a lot of blood, but no organ was badly harmed" "Blessing in disguise, I guess?" "Yes, something like that" Bucky took a deep, deep breath, and it looked as if the weight of the world would fall off his shoulders. Then – slowly – their last conversation came across her mind. Nearly dying made a lot of things easier and faster to decide. "Hey Buck," you squeezed his hand back. "Hm?" "After the War… help me to sell the house of my father, I guess I will not need it anymore" he knit his eyebrows and needed a few moments, until he realized what she was saying, a big bright smile on his lips. "I will," he needed. He would clasp her under different circumstances, but maybe this is not the right moment for doing so.

Your wound healed perfectly, and you were soon able to work a little bit out. Certainly, Bucky begs you not to overdo it, but you know where your limits were. You could do the paperwork and file on the capturing Plan for Zola. You got new information's regarding him and his whereabouts. Still, it was Tricky to get him there because he would be in the Austrian Alps. As far as you know, there was just one transportation device, which would pass through the alps and that was a train. If you don't know, jumping on a train at full speed was indeed a tricky thing but the best way you could do it. The time slot was tiny, so just a few people could do that and were actually able to do that. Sadly, Bucky and Steve were pretty at the top of this list because they have both extraordinary physical skills. To be honest? You didn't want Bucky to go there, you had a bad feeling about it, and you could always trust your feeling.

This mission was different because it was more dangerous than usual. You had a long and detailed meeting with the guys about it and how they should do it. It was really a matter of small details because if they miss just one thing, that could mean they will die. And after the meeting, nobody was in a good mood. Everybody was somehow severe and lost in their thoughts. The fact that nobody felt right about this one was a massive elephant in the room. Seriously, everybody thought it was a stupid idea. Even your uncle asked the guys if they want to let that opportunity pass. It was a mission, but no mission was it worth do die – at least when it comes down to your opinion. There would be another chance to capture Zola, so it was legitimate to let this one pass. But you know what? This Unit was filled with stupid apes! Of course, they wanted to do it. Just this one time – this ONE TIME – you wished Bucky would be less brave and just stay in the base, but of course, he couldn't let Steve go alone. Well, you wanted Steve to stay too! These were your Boys, your little family; you couldn't lose them! Accordingly to that, you and Bucky were pretty speechless during the night. You wanted to say something like you always do. Poke him, annoy him, tease him, or something else, but you didn't feel in the mood for it. Same for him. Usually, he would say something funny to raise your spirits, but even now, he couldn't say something, so you two just laid there in silence and stared into the darkroom.

It must have been a couple hours, but you finally find your voice, to say at least something. "Don't do anything stupid, okay?" your voice was soft, a little bit shaky, and he could he hear a few cracks in it. "Promised," but you could say that based on his voice, he couldn't. He just said it to calm you, but it didn't work.

"Sergeant Barnes, fall of the train! Bucky is… is gone!"

A few years later…

Over a year later, after the war was won, you found Peggy standing in front of Steve's grave. You didn't saw her for a few years, but you heard she works in a police station – or something like that. You, for yourself, didn't do much. You still worked in the Army with your uncle, but you went here every once in a while. To visit Bucky and Steve and today, Peggy, keep your company.

"Hey" – "H-Hey" Peggy whipped the tears away and shook her head a few times. She was standing in front of the grave of Steve Rogers, alias Captain America. It was a massive light stone with golden letters. Many people left flowers behind, stuffed animals, cards, and different things. They still do this when the anniversary of Steve's death was coming near. They knew the war was won because of what he and the Howling commando did, so they wanted to tribute the fallen Hero. Next to Steve's grave was Bucky's. The stone was a little bit smaller but as beautiful as Steve's was. You and Peggy agreed that these two idiots needed to be buried next to each other, even though you had no corpse to bury. "H-How are you?" she asked you, but you just shook your head. It's been a while since the war, but you still weren't right. "Devastated. Still but I am working on it. You?" "Working on it," she answered and took a deep breath. And then you two were just standing there and staring at these stones in silence. Bucky and Steve shared a special bond, and you can tell it was a strong one. And now? You and Peggy shared a similar bind, created by the pain of the same loss. "I hate my work" Peggy started to say something. "Full of man how didn't take me seriously, and I have to operate in the shadows. I don't mind the shadows, but I don't think I am doing something meaningful! I own Steve to try to protect the world he saved with his life! Or, don't I?" she asked you. Well, you couldn't answer that, not for her or for yourself. But the way she said it sounds like a plan. Like she already had something in mind to do something against that. "What you mean?" "I-I-" she stopped and took another deep breath before she explained her vision to you. She wanted to create an organization to protect the whole world. An institution filled with skilled people from anywhere possible, who come together to save humankind from any kind of danger. She said that Stark liked that idea and was already in, but she needed more people to make it work. Howard would take care of the equipment, but she required Agents and Spy. And she would prefer people she already worked with from war, so she meant you. "and how is that called? This Group? The Fanatic's?" you joked about, but Peggy just shook her head. She didn't have a name either, but it needed to be something catchy. "But would you join and help me?" "Yes," you didn't think long about it. What else should you do? And you liked Peggy and enjoyed working with her. "But we need a good name" "You don't say" she rolled with her eyes and seemed to think about it. "Maybe something like –"Peggy wanted to say something but broke up with her sentence. Apparently, she hadn't a good idea. She wanted something to remember Steve and honor him, but she didn't found a good acronym. You thought about it too, for a while until something catches your eye. Over Steve's name in the gravestone, there was a little symbol. To simplify it, it was his Shield he chooses as his weapon. Funny enough that he wanted to have a tool of protection as his weapon. It was his symbol, his signature to have this Shield with him, and that when it comes to your mind. "S.H.I.E.L.D – Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics" "A long name," she commented. "But it's fitting" "Well…. Yeah. Shield" "With a memorial wall in the main base" "Memorial wall?" "For all the fallen soldiers. To honor them," you said, and Peggy nodded as she looked down on the two Stones next to each other. "Agent Barnes and Agent Rogers will be the first names on it. Because I know they would have joined Shield" "They would," you nodded and smiled, while you softly remember Bucky's and Steve's smile.

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miss-scientia · 4 years ago

Text

Unrequited Love

Hi all, (everyone who is still here that is!) just a random post by me! Not totally random actually. I was just going through my old documents and I found a FFXV one shot I had completely finished but never posted for some reason. I re-read it and actually quite liked it, so I thought I’d stop by and post it for anyone still around! It’s a bit of slight Noctis angst, I hope you enjoy if you read!

(Also, I stop by from time to time and see notifications still popping up. You are all still so lovely!)

Prompto x Reader x Noctis (kind of!) SFW This is a long one!

She had confessed her feelings to him at the beginning of their journey, but he’d rejected them to stick to his duty. After a while she moved on and started dating Prom, which is... great! Fantastic really! Then why did he feel so shitty...?

Noctis was sure, he thought to himself as he shuffled around in his sleeping bag, that the six had a pretty sick sense of humour. They had to have, judging by his current predicament. Either that, or he had done something really, really, really bad in a past life to deserve this.

Gods above it wasn’t fair.

It wasn’t fair that he was the one chosen to be the king of kings, having his future laid out and already planned for him. It wasn’t fair that he had to marry Luna, an area in life where he ought to have control, yet had none. And it certainly wasn’t fair that the actual girl he was in love with, was with someone else.

And that someone was his best friend.

To make matters worse, she had previously admitted feelings for Noctis too, early on in their journey. But he’d had to say no, that he was already betrothed to another, that he couldn’t do that to Luna or his family. A familiar sinking feeling clawed at Noctis’ gut as he recalled that day, the regret of his words churning in his stomach.

What an idiot.

How different life could’ve been if he’d only told her how he felt that day. Instead, he had kept his lips sealed and she had moved on. Unfortunately, to a certain blond haired sharp shooter.

Although he had his back to them, Noctis could hear them both now, whispering to each other in a shared sleeping bag. Did they have to be so... so affectionate? Constantly touching, constantly giggling. It was like they lived to torture him.

Noctis stifled a groan, the pit in his stomach growing ever deeper. The whispering of the two finally ceased, and Noctis was about to send a silent thanks to the gods, before an odd sound stopped him.

Are they...?

A sharp wet sound emanated from behind him, confirming his suspicions. They were making out, completely unaware of the wide awake prince laid only mere inches away from them.

I must’ve done something absolutely awful in a previous life.

Before he could prevent it, a perfect picture of the scene behind him had appeared in his mind; her wrapped tightly against Prompto’s body, his arms tight against her, pulling her to his frame. Their lips locked in a heated kiss, eyes communicating their sheer desperation for each other.

It was like a knife had impaled his stomach. The mental image paired with the the all too real sounds behind him was enough to make him queasy. The thing was though, he couldn’t even find it in himself to be angry at either of them. He had rejected her, and she had ended up with Prom - why shouldn’t they have got together? It was neither of their fault, no. Could he even blame himself however? Was it his own fault, even though he’d been born into this life with all of his future, all of his destiny already set out for him? Was it his fault for following his duty? He wasn’t certain, but he was damn sure that it sucked.

Curling his fingertips into the soft material of his pillow, Noctis attempted to block out the almost heavenly sighs that fell from her lips. Slowly he drifted off, plagued with thoughts of how if only he had the chance, he could make her sigh like that...

The ever delicious scent of Ignis’ cooking drifted to your nose as the evening meal was presented to you and your camp mates. Your stomach grumbled in anticipation, desperate for fuel after the exhausting day you’d all had. “I dunno if it’s because I’m ravenous, or if you’ve done an extra special job of it tonight Iggy, but this is the best meal I’ve ever laid my eyes upon!” Your boyfriend Prompto sighed dramatically from beside you, eyes lighting up as he was handed his food.

“Kid’s right Iggy, this is good stuff.” Gladio nodded, already digging into his larger than average portion.

“Mmmmph...” came your almost orgasmic sigh of agreement.

“Well, thank you everyone, but I dare say that I haven’t done anything extra special tonight. Perhaps we were all ready for a meal after our rather busy day.” Ignis modestly brushed aside the compliments, but you could tell he was pleased by the corners of his mouth rising, fighting to hide the beam threatening to reveal itself.

You were halfway through your food before you realised that Noctis hadn’t said a word since sitting down. Casting your eyes over to the prince, you saw his figure sitting rather slumped over on the floor opposite you. One hand gripped a fork rather loosely as he stabbed the utensil repeatedly into the same carrot, in and out, over and over. His brow line puckered slightly, the hints of a frown forming over his dull looking eyes. It struck you that he sort of looked like... he was sulking. And now you thought about it, he’d been really grumpy all day, unresponsive and quiet.

Wonder what’s up with him? You thought, glancing once more. Strands of his jet black hair fell into his eyes, causing him to blink those long lashes and sweep his head slightly to clear his vision.

Your heart stuttered.

As much as you didn’t want it, he was still able to get you like that. One little move of his head or gesture of his hands, and it shook you again just how pretty he was.

It truly was hard to forget about your first love.

Drawing your eyes away you searched for another familiar pair, gaze landing on the ever smiling, ever warm face of your boyfriend and immediately you felt better. As much as Noctis could sometimes catch you off guard, you knew for certain you loved Prompto. There was no doubt there.

“You okay [Name]?” His kind face and genuine smile had you smiling back instantly.

“Sure am Prom.” You replied, resting a hand on his knee. Naturally, his hand rested on top of yours, warm and safe.

“What’s the matter with you prince sulks?” Gladio voiced your earlier question, albeit a little more teasingly. Everyone stopped eating to glance over at the Prince in question.

Noctis shot Gladio a glare, his eyes clearly saying ‘don’t even start’.

“Is there something on your mind that you wish to share?” Ignis asked this time, much more accommodatingly.

“No. Why, does it look like it?” His voice was gruff, annoyed. There was definitely something up.

“Well, you’ve not really said much since coming back, and you’ve barely touched your food.” You offered.

“Yeah pal, is there anything we can help with?” Prompto offered his best friend, leaning forward so he could pat his leg.

Finally Noctis looked up, but as you caught his expression your heart sank. He looked mighty pissed.

“I said there isn’t anything. Why do you guys have to push me all the time?”

Prompto blinked, taken aback by his friend’s blunt tone.

“I just wanted to see if there’s anything I could do to-”

“Well there isn’t Prompto. There’s nothing that anyone can do, okay?” The prince snapped, rising to his feet.

Prompto’s face fell, and that was like someone had pressed the anger button on inside you. You were suddenly furious. How could he talk like that to his best friend?

“What the hell is up with you?” Standing to your feet, you walked over to the sulky prince.

“Nothing, [Name].”

“Nothing? So you think you can talk to people like that because... because nothing?”

Noctis looked at you, fully frowning now, agitation apparent in his ocean blue eyes.

“Guys, I think we should just cool it...” Prompto’s quiet voice attempted to cut the tension which was now crackling in the air.

“I agree, Noctis I’m not sure what’s wrong, but we must-”

“I’d have been fine if people had just left me alone.” Noctis cut over Ignis.

“Sorry that people care about you.” You retorted, anger still clouding your better judgement.

“Yeah well, I never asked for people to. I never asked for any of this.”

“You ungrateful little-”

“Noctis.” Gladio’s voice stopped you from finishing your sentence. He hadn’t shouted, hadn’t raised his voice, but his deep rumbling tone halted you. “I think you should go and take a walk. Cool down. Come back when you have a better head on, cause this is going no where.”

“Tch, fine.” Noctis grumbled, but turned on his heel and stalked off into the night, leaving the four of you hurt, annoyed and confused.

The campsite seemed overly quiet now that the prince was gone, suffocatingly so. Every cough and every shuffle was heard, adding to the already tense atmosphere.

“I just don’t understand. It’s not like him.” Prompto said for the fifth time. He was anxiously picking at the hem of his shirt, pulling at a loose thread. Every so often you had to lay your hand atop his to remind him to stop before it became threadbare.

“I know what you mean, I don’t get what’s up with him.” Gladio sighed and stretched.

“Perhaps his last comment gave us some insight? He said he never asked for any of this. He has never been overly fond on what his future holds in store for him...” Ignis offered a solution in a quiet speculative tone. You almost scoffed however.

“It still doesn’t give him the right to talk to his best friend like dirt.” Prompto squeezed your hand in silent thanks, but you knew that the blond wasn’t even angry. In fact, you correctly assumed that he was more worried for Noctis’ safety right now.

Pure person through and through.

“I do wish we could know where he went.” Ignis sighed, guardian-like instincts kicking in.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine specs, he’ll come back when he’s ready.” Gladio attempted to appease Ignis, to no avail.

You had a pretty good idea of where Noctis might have headed to, thinking back to the car journey earlier on that day. The only time when the prince had shown remotely any interest in what was going on around him is when you had driven past a very large lake. It was highly plausible that he’d gone to check it out. The more you thought about it, the more that you were certain this is where he’d have headed. And the more you thought about it, the more you realised you could remember the way there. And the more you thought about that, the more you realised this was a good a chance as any to have a proper conversation with him. And to possibly lecture him on how to actually talk to his best friend.

I can go there, yank him back here and make him apologise.

Looking over at Prompto’s anxious face, his top front teeth gently nibbling on his lower lip, you knew this was the right thing to do. You stood up quite forcefully, drawing the attention of the other three boys.

“[Name]...?”

“I’m going to go find him, and bring him back. Then I’m going to get him to apologise.”

Ignis sighed, Gladio nodded, and Prom...

“Are you sure you want to do that [Name]?” He stammered, looking torn between some inner dilemma.

“I’m sure. I think I know where to look, but I’ll be fine. I can’t have him talking to you like that Prom. I can’t.”

“He was just angry, he didn’t mean it.”

“Well then, he can just say sorry when I drag him back here.” You told Prompto with a reassuring smile. The blond boy finally smiled back, standing up to face you.

“Thank you [Name]. Be safe.” He told you, and with a quick kiss you set off in search of one sulky prince to bring home.

Just as you’d expected, Noctis had made his way over to the lake that your group had passed earlier. You could see his silhouette from where you stood; his shadowed figure sat crossed legged on the wooden pier which stretched out into the middle of the lake. The perfect fishing spot, yet he wasn’t fishing.

Well shit, there’s gotta be something really wrong with him then.

It hadn’t taken you all too long to get there since you knew which paths to take, however it was still a rather long way away from where your group had pitched the tent. It had been a miracle that no daemons had attacked you, dark as it was out. You wondered how long the prince had been sat there, not fishing, just sitting and watching the lake.

Taking a deep breath, you walked out from your hiding spot and marched all the way down to the lake, stopping to stand a few feet away from Noctis. He didn’t move upon your arrival, showed no sign that he was even aware of your presence.

You cleared your throat.

“Noctis?”

“[Name]?” Was his reply, quiet but with a hint of sullen sarcasm you knew well. Swallowing the biting response you wanted to give, you instead replied;

“What are you doing out here?”

He didn’t answer straight away, still looking down at his hands. In fact, he took so long to answer that you weren’t sure if he’d even heard you. But then finally;

“It’s peaceful out here. When it’s night like this, lakes always seem that much more... tranquil. Kinda makes me feel like time has stopped, at least in this little area, y’know?” His reply startled you a little, it hadn’t been what you were expecting. And looking around the lake, you could kind of see what he meant. But as lovely as the lake was, you weren’t here to discuss that. You had a purpose in mind for travelling all the way out here, and feeling sorry for the prince wasn’t it.

“Noctis, I don’t really understand your train of thought right now, but what I do know, is that you snapped at everyone and left your best friend feeling highly confused and rather hurt.” He could probably hear the accusatory edge to your voice.

Well, good.

“Look, I didn’t mean to upset anyone. I just hate it when everyone is pushing me.”

“Yeah, well y’did.”

“I know that [Name].” He finally turned to look at you, those ocean blues flashing with a hint of frustration. “Don’t think I don’t know that, cause I do. It makes me feel worse than I already do, alright?”

You folded your arms. “Then come back and apologise.”

“Tch, I’m not going back there yet.” He mumbled, his eyes dropping once more. This only annoyed you further.

“So, it makes you feel bad, and yet... you’re not gonna apologise for what you’ve done? Is that it?”

“N-n... that’s not what I said.” The prince suddenly sprang to his feet, his body towering over you. He was getting worked up at your words, the biting remarks nibbling away at his ability to think clearly enough to explain himself coherently.

“You aren’t the only one going through some tough shit, okay?” You snapped, unaware at his inner turmoil.

“Obviously! I never once said- it’s really hard for me to- just stop pushing me, alright?”

“No. If you won’t apologise then we at least get to know what’s got that stick so far up your butt!” You drew yourself up to try and make yourself look taller. There was no way he was worming out of this one, and you could tell he knew. He could sense your determination, his eyes betraying the slightest hint of panic within the frustration.

“[Name], seriously, you-”

“No Noctis! We’re sick of it! We can’t even help you if you don’t explain.”

“You can’t help me.”

“Why not? What is it Noctis?” Your voice was sharp but your eyes were gentle. Underneath all of your annoyance, you really did just want to help your friend.

“[Name], really, you don’t-”

“What is it?”

“I’m telling you, you’re not-”

“What is it?”

“[Name]-!”

“Just tell me what it is!”

“It’s you!”

You paused, the words you were about to say dying in your throat. It was... you? You were the reason he was acting this way? Unease swirled in your stomach.

I’ve been making him feel like this...?

Noctis was almost panting, seeming out of breath from your shouting match. Although he seemed weary, he did not look as if he regretted saying so.

“It’s...me?” You whispered, his answer throwing you completely. Noctis sighed heavily, one hand rising to awkwardly scratch the back of his neck. Suddenly he almost seemed... tired.

“Look... that came out wrong, okay? It’s not... it’s not just you.”

“But I... I’ve done something to hurt you?” The crack in her voice at the end of the sentence physically pained him to hear, made him want to take back everything he’d just said. He’d suffer with it all internally if he never had to hear her sound pained again.

“[Name], it’s not something you’ve done. Please, just let it go.” Noctis pleaded, knowing his efforts would more than likely be futile. Slowly he turned away from her, walking once again to the edge of the wooden beams to sit down, dangling his legs only centimeters above the calm lake. Not looking at her made this easier. Her crumpled expression only further pained his heart, and it was getting hard to quell the need to comfort her as it was.

Gentle padding sounds as she walked to sit next to him told him she wasn’t going to give up that easily. Frustrated, he repressed a groan.

Not. Fucking. Fair.

“Noctis...whatever I’ve done, I want to know. It was never my intention to hurt you.”

Of course it wasn’t, pure soul that she was.

Her quiet tone caused him to sneak a peek at her from the corner of his eye. She was sat close to him, legs dangling, an almost mirror of his pose. All traces of previous anger had been washed from her face, instead, confusion and remorse took its place.

He hated that he was responsible for it.

“Honestly, there really isn’t anything you could have done about it. I’m not sure there’s anything anyone could have done about it. My future has been set since day one, I don’t have a say in this stuff... and I sure as hell don’t have a say in who I fall in love with either.”

A quick intake of breath from his immediate right caused him to realise what he’d just said out loud.

Shit!

His head snapped to look at her fully now. She was turned to him, eyes wide in shock as the realisation of what he’d just admitted sunk in. Quickly he began to try and explain.

“[Name], I-”

“That’s not fucking fair.” Her voice was dull as she cut over him. To his surprise, tears quickly gathered in the corner of her eyes which were rapidly becoming tinted with red. She was... really upset. He had been expecting anger. Not sadness.

“That’s really un-fucking-fair of you Noctis. You know... you know how I felt about you. It took a while to get over that rejection.”

“I’m sorr-”

“You don’t get to say that to me now Noctis! I’m with Prompto, I’ve moved on! I picked myself up and carried on living, you can’t just, just waltz back in and say that. It’s not fair!”

“I know.” He uttered, so softly it was as if he was speaking to himself. It was your turn to be surprised at the sadness of his tone. A few moments of silence passed between the both of you, your eyes trained on the almost black waters beneath you. It was hard to really believe what he’d admitted... he loved you?

Noctis broke the silence first with a soft sigh. Well, if the cat was out of the bag, he may as well try and explain himself.

“I tried so hard to stop it. Y’know? I knew it wasn’t fair, believe me, that’s all I’ve been saying these past few months. Not fair on you, Prom, or me. But, [Name],” He took a deep breath; “you’ve no idea how fucking hard it is when I see you cuddled up to him every night.”

Her eyelids fluttered shut as he spoke, a little pucker forming between her brows as she frowned slightly. There it was again, that look of pain. But he couldn’t stop explaining now he’d started, it would be better to get to the bottom of it.

“It’s not like I resent either of you. Honestly, I was happy for the both of you. But I also felt like absolute shit. Took me a while to realise why, guess I’ve never been one to be clued up about their emotions.”

That earned him a slight snort.

“Yeah, guess that’s no secret either, right?” His words were tinged with regret.

Chancing a glance her way he saw that her eyes were still closed. However, she made no move to stop him explaining, so he continued, eager to finally get it out in the open.

“So when I finally realised how I felt about you... well, the fact that it was far too late sucked. And it just got me thinking, if my life wasn’t so predestined, if I had even a little bit of control over areas of my life where I really should, then we’d be together. We’d be together right now [Name]. No pre-arranged wedding duties. And it’s just been eating at me how little of a choice I get over pretty much everything in my life. Then listening to you and Prom giggling and enjoying each other every night... I just wanted that.”

Finally he petered off, letting the weight of what he’d said hang in the air. It was like the burden had finally been lifted from his shoulders - she knew how he felt. He’d told her, in probably the longest speech he’d ever given in his life, and it just felt good to not have it burning him from the inside.

Although that may all go to shit the next time her and Prom start sucking face again. He almost grimaced at the thought.

The seconds ticked by in what felt like hours, she didn’t breath a word. Shyly Noctis turned to face her again, noticing her eyes were finally open, wide and [e/c], staring right back at him. The whites of her eyes were tinged a deeper red, and fresh tears had collected in her lids. His heart almost broke. He wanted to stop the crying, comfort her, take it all back, anything to stop her tears.

Undecidedly, he lifted his hand, fingers outstretched to rest on her shoulder, but froze in mid air.

“[Name], you don’t know how sorry I am.” He whispered, and she replied with a quiet sob from deep in her throat.

Before he knew what he was doing, the one sound caused him to finally reach out to her, close the distance between them. In no time at all, his strong arms were wrapped around her shoulders, her waist. Her head buried in the crook of his neck, holding her close as she sobbed. His fingers rubbed soothing circles into her back as he held her, noticing with a sick, ironic pleasure that they fit together so well. Like his arms had been made to fit her body exactly.

Could this get any worse? He was comforting her.

But she’s not yours.

They fit together perfectly, like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle together at last.

But she’s not yours.

She was all he wanted. But she wasn’t his to have.

Fuck, this sucks.

Noctis wasn’t sure how long he sat there, holding her. Time truly seemed at a stand still; they were lost in this little hidden part of nature. He wasn’t sure when her tears finally stopped, but he could feel her breathing return to normal, her silent sobs no longer racking her chest. Still, he couldn’t let her go. Didn’t dare move for fear of breaking this moment with her, her face gently buried into the side of his neck, wrapped in his embrace. He knew it would never happen again, despite how much he wanted it.

It couldn’t.

“Noctis?” Her voice was soft, thick from the tears she’d shed.

“Yes?” They were almost whispering, but in the tranquil quiet of the night, the sound seemed to echo in his skull.

“I’m in love with Prompto.”

“I know.” His reply was gentle, but the feeling in his heart was anything but. The admission shouldn’t have been a surprise to him, he’d known it for a while. He could tell just by how she looked at him, the pure adoration for Prom in her heart. It still hurt. He wished she’d look at him like that.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He uttered, one hand absentmindedly reaching up to tuck a stray hair back behind her ear.

“It’s me who should be apologising. To everyone back at camp, but mostly to you. It wasn’t fair for me to dump all of my baggage on you like that. I just... felt I had to.”

“No... I’m glad you did.” She had lowered her voice, and it came out slightly mumbled into his shoulder, but it meant the world to him anyway. It felt like she’d accepted what he said, and that was the best he could hope for right now.

“Thank you [Name].” He whispered, his voice trailing off, leaving what he wished he could say hanging in the air between them both.

I love you.

#hope this was okay for such a random post!#I just felt like there was no sense in deleting it #I also kind of thought about making two branches off where maybe you could choose who to be with?#Anyway #what would you do dear reader?#final fantasy xv #final fantasy 15 #final fantasy fic #final fantasy fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #Noctis Lucis Caelum #prince noctis #noctis x reader #noctis lucis caelum x reader #prompto argentum #prompto x reader #prompto x reader x noctis

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andcontemplation · 4 years ago

Text

The Last Snowball

~or~

Why Joyce Hates Jim Hopper’s Guts (a love story)

December, 1964

"Skipping class again, huh?"

Jim Hopper thought he’d been busted, until he turned to see his tiny brunette friend cross the hall toward him with a great big smile on her face. He chewed slowly on the last bite of his second sandwich of the day as he watched Joyce flutter up to him like a little bird.

"Did you run here to state the obvious?" he asked through a smirk and a mouthful of bologna.

"What? No!" Joyce’s nose scrunched up and she quickly shook her head before the big smile crept back. "You weren't by the steps after fifth, and I was looking for you. I wanna ask you something!"

"Why are your cheeks all red then?" he asked.

Joyce brought a hand up to her left cheek and stood on her tiptoes to look at her reflection in his locker mirror. Indeed, her cheeks were ten shades of crimson, and the blush only deepened when she saw it with her own eyes.

Hopper swallowed and raised an eyebrow slowly.

"What's up?"

Joyce sighed and fidgeted with the lock on his locker door. Then she repositioned the textbooks in her arms, looking anywhere but at him. She tried not to think about how hot her cheeks were getting under his gaze.

"Well -- I don't know if you noticed, but the winter dance on Friday is a Sadie Hawkins," she said holding her breath, before sneaking a peek at him with wide, worried eyes to gauge his reaction. But there was none.

He just kinda shrugged.

"Yeah, I know. Half the junior girls asked me already," he admitted, crumpling the empty paper bag that once held the rest of second-lunch and tossed it in the trash can over her head and behind her. Completely clueless, as usual.

Joyce deflated.

"Oh yeah?" she asked, keeping the smile plastered to her face, desperately trying to ignore the heaviness in her chest at his words. "Who?"

Hopper shrugged again and turned back to the mess in his locker, getting ready to head out.

"A bunch of chicks. I told 'em 'No.'"

"Oh." The heavy feeling disappeared just as quickly as it came. "A bunch, huh?"

"Why'd you ask?"

"Uh… well, I don't know," Joyce sighed and trailed off. "I just thought, maybe…"

"Yeah?"

"You and I..?"

She didn't want to say it -- she couldn't possibly say it. The words caught in the back of her throat, but Hopper was getting impatient.

"Well? Spit it out!"

Joyce took a deep breath.

"Well, it's just that... it's the Snowball. And I wanted to see if maybe you wanted to go. With me?"

She shifted her weight nervously as she waited on his response. It felt like forever as she watched his face change from clueless to amused, confused, and then back again.

"Hmm, no thanks," he said finally, coolly shrugging his hunter green plaid jacket over his broad shoulders. "I got plans."

Joyce's face fell for real this time, and she leaned back against the lockers, letting his locker door shield her disappointment. Hopper was rummaging around his locker again, banging books around on the shelves and dropping his winter gear at his feet -- hat, mitts, a pair of long johns, and big woolly socks.

"Why don't you ask your new boyfriend?" he asked rather bluntly from behind the locker door.

"Who? Lonnie?” Joyce leaned forward to glare at him. “Lonnie's not my--" She bit her tongue and steered the conversation back on track, knowing the topic of Lonnie Byers was not a welcome one with Hopper lately.

"I wanted to ask you, dummy!" she told Hopper, feeling her mood start to sour. "Since you're like... I don't know? My best friend?"

"Aw," Hopper said, clutching for his heart and rolling his eyes. "Be still my beating heart. You make it sound so special."

Joyce bounced on her heels in frustration. Sometimes she wished she was taller so she could properly smack him on the back of the head.

"I just mean-- We went to our first Snowball together. Shouldn't we go to the last one too?"

"Uh, no?" Hopper said and then ducked out of her reach when she aimed for his arm. "What? I'm struggling to see the big deal here. It's just a dance!"

Joyce raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. What a stick in the mud!

"It's the last Snowball, Jim."

"And this is the last week I can bag a doe with my tag, Joyce."

He bent down to gather up the small pile of clothes on the floor and shoved them into his backpack. Joyce set her jaw, grimacing.

"A deer?"

"A female deer," he grinned up at her.

Joyce clicked her tongue disapprovingly.

"You're telling me you'd rather kill some poor, innocent creature than dance with your best friend all night?" Her voice trailed off, hopefully conveying the intentions behind the words -- I like you, you big doofus.

But Hopper didn't catch on.

"Yes, absolutely."

He said it so abruptly, Joyce struggled not to look too offended.

"Well, I… I thought you could only hunt 'til Last Light anyway?"

Hah! She had him there -- according to Indiana fish and game regulations, he wasn't allowed to hunt after the sun went down. Honestly, she didn't know much else about hunting other than that small fact, but Joyce clung to it like a life raft.

"Why don't you just come to the dance afterwards, then? Meet me there?" Joyce persisted.

"No can do!" He pressed his lips together, unapologetically. "I plan to be elbow deep in blood n’ guts after Last Light."

Her jaw dropped, and it made him smirk again.

"That's disgusting!" Joyce said, horrified.

"So's a Sadie Hawkins!" he exclaimed. "Girls asking guys? What's next? Cats chasing dogs? C'mon, Joyce." Hopper snorted at his own joke and stood up.

Joyce tried to ignore the rude passing comment, even though it made her want to stab him with her women’s lib pin. Why was she asking him again? Oh right. Those pesky feelings... the same ones she'd been fighting for the last four years. Just when she thought she had them beat, making herself believe she only ever wanted to be just his friend, feelings would rear their ugly head again and make her act like a complete fool. Like right now, for example:

"But it's the last Snowball!" She tried with him one more time. “Come on, don’t be such a party pooper.”

Hopper slung his backpack over his shoulder and grabbed the last of his junk shoving it back in the locker, anywhere it would fit. He heaved a sigh.

“So? We had Homecoming last month. Prom's in spring. How many dances do we really need?"

Never mind that Joyce was helping Karen plan each of those dances and leading the Pep Club in decorating the gym for all of them too. Or that this was their last year of school -- ever! He knew perfectly well how much it all meant to Joyce and she couldn't believe he wasn't a being bit more sentimental about all of it.

"It's our last Snowball."

That's when Hopper finally got it. And then he rolled his eyes.

"You realize that none of the guys are going, right?”

"Nuh-uh.” Joyce shook her head. “Not all the guys. Some of the seniors are going with the gals!"

She didn't know exactly how many, and she left out the part where it was mostly the steadies going together, hoping to convince him.

"Well, none of the single guys are going," Hopper assured her again. "Trust me. We all have plans. Besides, that dance is only for the freshmen and middle-schoolers, now. Last year was so lame."

"Plans?" she echoed.

"Yeah. I told you! My card's punched all week."

"Heya, Hop!" Benny called out, interrupting them from down the hallway, catching their attention over the top of the other student's heads. He raised his .22 in his hand to Hopper like a chalice. "Hunting?"

"Hunting!" Hopper hollered back and turned back to Joyce. "See? Hunting."

Joyce rolled her eyes and let out a grumble -- at least his plan wasn’t Chrissy Carpenter again.

"How many times can a man go hunting in a week?" she asked pointedly.

"Well, Beatles say there's 8 days…" Hopper started, slamming his locker shut.

"Let me rephrase that," Joyce interrupted. "How many times can a man go hunting in a week and bring home absolutely nothing?"

Hopper narrowed his eyes on Joyce and chewed his bottom lip, biting back what he really wanted to say. She knew full well he hadn't gotten anything yet this year, and he was quickly running out of time to prove his machismo to his pals. Now she was purposely rubbing salt in those wounds.

"Look at you, being funny," he said flatly, moving her aside to follow Benny out the double doors. "Don't let me spoil your little party, okay? Slow dance with Karen if you have to," he added with a wink.

"I hate you, Jim Hopper!" Joyce called out after him, meaning every word in that very moment. Just when she thought Hopper might change, here he was, being his same-old callous self.

"Feeling's mutual," he chuckled over his shoulder. "See ya later!"

"Yeah, whatever, Captain Funwrecker." Joyce grumbled back as she watched him walk away.

Her spirit was crushed.

Her crush? Crushed.

Was it too late to bottle all those feelings back up? Swallow what was left of her pride and ask one of the shy, senior guys instead? At least, she thought, Bob Newby’s always a sure thing.

Lonnie was her original back up choice, but she already knew he'd laugh in her face too, just the same as Hopper had done.

Lonnie wouldn't be hunting, though. Just drinking and partying at the quarry or whatever he and his miscreant friends liked to do for fun -- she still hadn't quite figured that out, though she was beginning to think maybe being a miscreant was more fun than it sounded. More fun than hunting poor innocent creatures anyway. Or playing lone wallflower at the dance again...

As the last bell rang, Joyce wondered why all the boys she liked had to be such jerks.

---

#jopper #young jopper #joyce byers #jim hopper #teen!jopper #jopper advent #day 23 #ficlet #on this episode of who crushed on who first...#silly holiday fluffy angsty nonsense for all you lovebirds out there!

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royalreef · 4 years ago

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“ 𝐻𝓊𝓏𝓏𝒶𝒽! ” There’s officially 400 of you following my dear fish princess! When I started this blog, I never thought I would’ve gotten this far, but this community has been so welcoming and supportive. It’s truly been a joy to write with everyone, and I never would’ve gotten here if it weren’t for all of you encouraging me and my writing. Writing an underappreciated character, and especially with the amount of my canon divergence, brought me to always assume that I’d have a much smaller audience for it - and I’m glad to say that I’ve been proven wrong!

But really, I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere near where I am today without the sheer amount of creativity and talent already present in the rpc. Every day I am blown away by the sheer amount of work that is being put into blogs and muses both, and every day I am awestruck at the replies that I read! And you’ve been there through thick and thin, so I think it’s about time I give a little back and show my appreciation.

👑 The Low Royals

For those of you who have been with me the longest, who have seen the growth and fine-tuning, and even potentially helped me shape this blog into what it is now - I raise a glass to you! You’re all my good friends, and I can thank none of you enough. I truly do appreciate and care for all of you, though I might be bad at saying it. You’ve all made me laugh, and cry, and feel ten thousand other emotions, and I can only hope to support all of you the same as you’ve supported me.

Tam / @necrodanger / @ruiincd / @rebeljest : You have been here from the beginning, and for that, you are the first upon this list. Where would I be without your help? When my Miranda first started interacting with your Val, much like the princess not knowing how deeply she’d fall in love with the pauper, I did not know how such a wonderful friendship would grow between us. You have been through Hell together with me, and though I may stumble, I trust you. Your companionship has been crucial to so much here, and I can only hope that I have helped you grow as much as you have helped me. You are irreplaceable in your talent and creativity, and you know I look forward to everything you write, all that you draw, and every day that I get to chat with you over Discord. I can never thank you enough, and I am truly in your debt!

Jeremy / @grave-risen / @lioncovrte / @covenwtch / @amalgaemate : Jerm!!! Gosh, what praises can’t I sing of you and your excellent muses? Your characterization is spot on - there’s just such a warmth that you breathe into all of the characters you handle. They truly take on a life of their own in such a special way, with all the unique pitfalls and challenges that come with them! You have such fine little details that I love to see in each individual personality and your devotion to detail is to be admired. Likewise, you’re someone who I know I can trust, as that warmth truly spreads over into you yourself, and you’re just such a welcoming and genuine friend that I know I can just vibe with without any pressure. I really do love the plots we’ve done so far, and really look forward to seeing how Brian and Miranda handle becoming friends again. I may tease about him being a snack, but you know I’m here for all of the emotional curveballs you can throw at me!

Shorp / @pasttorn : I might be bad at chatting you up recently - but as always, you know I adore your Damien and all of the drama that he can cause! He’s a shit-stirrer of a muse, and you know I love the way you write, which together is just a perfect combination for a great time! You’ve also been around a bit longer in the rpc so you’ve seen some shit, and you’ve seen me reboot this blog and remake my lore. And for that, for sticking through as I went completely off the rails, I think that’s a pretty good summary of you! Chill, supportive, and sweet, a good pal all around to just vibe with and have some fun creative blends with!

Lola / @monstersmashed : AH... Oh, how Miranda loves her Marcus, and how I adore all the OCs you make! What kind of talent is it to be able to make so many unique OCs and have them all be so individual in such a way that really shows the quirks that makes each and every one special, and where can I get some of that? I remember Junie when she was much, much newer in the rpc, and I swear my adoration for what you can do with an interesting concept has only grown!! I sincerely love plotting with you and working out how your darlings can interact with my three disasters, and just absolutely a good friend all around.

Oli / @mindsmelded : OLI! I know you’re inactive right now (and honestly, I don’t blame you) but I GOTTA give you my love too! Every single reply from you just gets me EXCITED to read, with how you handle your muses! There’s just a passion and a flow to your prose that I love, and I truly admire how you can detail out exactly how each muse thinks in such a unique style that, even if you didn’t give a name or pronouns, you know EXACTLY which muse is responding! I admire you for that, and really that’s such a valuable skill that I want to master in my own writing too! You’re overall just such a supportive sweetheart who I can trust to talk to, and expect plenty of wholesome memes in return as a pick-me-up!

👑 The Middle Royals

Here is to all who I roleplay regularly with, but maybe don’t chat up as often as I’d like on Discord or through messages, or maybe just haven’t known as long as others. You have such excellent characters that I love to see interact with my fish princess, and I can’t wait to talk to you more! Some have budding relationships with your muse and Miranda that I can’t wait to see blossom into something complex and special all on their own, but all have just wonderful muses who I highly recommend you give a follow if you haven’t already! There’s a truly special amount of care being put into their writing, and I cannot recommend them enough.

Raz / @superbeaucoupdevisages : Honestly I didn’t expect to start to ship Oz and Miranda, but, WHELP, it happened!!! And I’m glad it did, honestly, because these two? Cute. Very cute!! With a whole lot of potential for angst and lore-exploring too! And really, I’m looking forward to it, because the way you write is simple and concise, which leaves it wonderfully IMPACTFUL. It’s short, sweet, and hits right where it hurts!! Which could honestly be said the same as you, as you know how to make your ideas known in as few words as possible. You know how to be there without the need for pretense, and sometimes you really do need someone to be there to get to the heart of issues, and for that, I thank you!

Hannah / @ciiclops / @bingemuscs : Probably the odd one out here as we have known about each other for quite a while, predating my reboot, but we’ve only recently really gotten around to chatting, which is a SHAME. I love just being able to infodump with you about my lovely, lovely arachnids, and Iris has always been such a charm to interact with!! I can’t wait to see how she might interact more with Miranda and how they might get along, as I’m really just a sucker for nerd and prep friendships (or maybe even something more) !!!

Zac / @collectathon : Can I just say that I’m super excited for your Zoe muse already? There’s so much to get into still, and she’s pretty new in terms of Miranda’s interactions, but I can’t WAIT to see what happens! Especially with all the ties Miranda has to the eldritch... Plus, I know to go to you for a good time, and I don’t think I’ll get over Miranda trying to frame Scooby Doo for arson anytime soon! You’re a wonderful friend with such a passion that I look forward to talking to more!

June / @preparetodie / @fullofschmidt : Is it bad to say I genuinely didn’t think much of Aaravi until I found your blog? Because I kinda did! But you have taught me to appreciate and love this fiesty AND VERY SAD slayer in a way I never have before, with such introspections on her character that I haven’t even thought about before recently! Similarly, your Vicky? STUNNING. She’s special in her own way, and honestly I can’t wait to discover more about her. Likewise, I’m looking forward to both of them learning more of Miranda’s specific secrets, and all of the fun turmoil that comes with that! (Plus, your art? So lovely!!! I might just have to commission you sometime!)

Hari / @warraigoe : I love! Your Damien! He’s honestly really funny, and sometimes even I can forget how lighthearted the actual tone of Monster Prom can be - so I think having something a little lighter is really good! Certainly, Miranda appreciates it, pfft! Your passion for writing really comes through, and I gotta say I really admire you going the extra mile to really get people similarly excited for something too! You’re someone who I really would like to chat and write with more often, if only my energy could pan out, because you’re honestly just that interesting! Good vibes, great times all around!

Josie / @galaxietm : We haven’t gotten the chance to write much together yet, but the amount of excitement I get from being able to write with you in the future is telling as to the quality that I’ve observed so far! You really do have just a smooth, chill demeanor to you that I can’t help but get really excited to be able to plot with you, and from what we’ve been able to do so far, it’s been looking really promising for things-to-come with Vera and Miranda! And from what I’ve seen of your prose? Similarly silky-smooth, flows as easy as a river, and just really something that I can’t wait to see more of, along with getting to know you more!

Nigel / @1-0-1-9 : YOU!!! Us meeting on Twitter was such a lovely chance meeting, and your friendship truly was a great birthday gift! I don’t show near as much love to your muse as I wish I did, because gosh you really do care about him and it shows! You’re someone who I could chat with all night though, and you bring up so many things I haven’t quite thought of yet! I really do appreciate having someone there who I can bounce ideas off of regularly, and you’re just excellent for that. You say you’re a dog in a human’s body, and tbh? I absolutely believe that with just how friendly you are!

Mori / @roskaarotta : Molly is one of those OCs who I can just immediately pick out as one of my favorites, with the amount of care you’ve gone into in making her! Your writing with her is a lot like how I see your art with her - absolutely soaked in a killer atmosphere that you can’t get anywhere else. I love how you took demons/angels and put a bit of yourself into them, and the character drama you write is to die for! I love hearing all of Molly’s backstory and really get a grasp of her personality, and you KNOW Miranda loves her Raccoon Wife!!

Rilli / @empatheticxangel / @marquisxofxlove : Speaking of which - YOU ARE ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF SOME OF MY FAVORITE OCs! Liam is such a darling, and you’re another big inspiration in me furthering my own lore! The amount of detail you work with for Liam is awe-inspiring, and I truly love hearing about how his world works and the history it has, alongside his own unique biology! The way you handle his powers is legitimately something I haven’t seen done before, and I think that really just goes to show exactly how much consideration and love is really going into developing him. Not to mention - you DRAW all your icons!! Like, DAMN.

Dani / @candyredmuses / @pxppinmolly / @bluemoonmuses : DANI. NERD. DORK. FELLOW MUN OF A PINK PRINCESS. I cannot say how much I appreciate you! And though we might not chat it up as regularly as some others (basically until I find a meme or song that reminds me of you) - you are on my mind!! Your work on character development CANNOT BE OVERSTATED. I think about Molly and your work on her so often, and she truly inspires me to further work on Miranda and put all the more thought into detailing her out! I might be a cryptid, but you can sight me anyday! (And bonus points for ALSO BEING A FELLOW HORROR-LOVER.)

👑 The High Royals

And here’s to all who I don’t know as well! Who I see on my dash or maybe have a thread or interaction or two with, but don’t chat OOC with that often or that Miranda isn’t totally established with yet! I see you, and I appreciate all that you’re doing and all of the effort that goes into your art and writing, and I look forward to the friendships and further interactions that can come of this!

If you’ve gotten this far and you haven’t been mentioned, then I’m sorry! You’re totally free to leave a comment or somesuch, shaming me for being as forgetful as I am, because you’re really all so wonderful, and I would love to shout everyone out if it weren’t for my bad memory! I love all of you so much, and I’d sincerely like to thank everyone reading this, for getting to this milestone together!

@vibinjustice / @rotaidevxr / @eoleolhan / @prsonatm / @stripedstrigoi / @lovsiik / @anxechoxinxhell / @vnemis / @bigveee / @multiipl / @moonmiissed / @woerended / @chainsxwsmile / @grandtales / @stcries / @yourfuturebcyfriend / @hoopsheartthrob / @xj-nine / @hellishmoth / @soupervillainpotage / @fatedcfied / @muse--menagerie / @hazbinvesta / @pinafcl / @dreamsugargirl / @hollowxport / @canisfuria

#rp promo #follow forever #monster prom rpc #mp rpc #Most secret royal advisor || OOC #Spawning of the Reefs || Promos #(( in case nyall wanted to know what ive been doing all day #(( also dear god i hope all these pings work

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jess-the-vampire · 4 years ago

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The Demon Next Door, Chapter 9

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"So...how's progress with jackie?", Star said, hopping alongside marco, "Prom's coming up and you said you planned on her being your date right? Do you even know what you're going to do to prompose?"

"Star, prom's still months away, no need to do it THAT soon...", marco said, mumbling and avoiding eye contact, much to her obvious annoyance. His answer did not satisfy her, especially since marco always planned ahead, if he didn't ask his crush out eventually, well, there were plenty or guys and girls who could ask her out themselves and he wouldn't even get the chance.

This was a huge aspect of marco's plan with jackie and he only recently made it to friendship, he'd run out of time if he kept waiting longer.

She'd think marco would leap at planning how he was to ask her out, but for some reason he seemed...distracted instead, unfocused on jackie. He had no plan already on how he wanted to ask her, he hadn't planned out for 50 different situations or what tux he wanted to wear, none of the prep that marco usually went through to well, do anything.

Distracted and moody, two things marco usually wasn't.

Star didn't linger too much on it though, jackie herself was turning the corner and she waved to the duo, star immediately running up and talking to her. Marco put on his best smile to talk to her too when tom finally met up with the group, in his ripped jeans, jackie and rock shirt, and of course with his spiked collar and punk bracelets. He looked like he crawled out of a rock concert and yet he radiated good energy for marco.

Tom was a beacon of light in a shroud of black.

Marco now truly smiling at seeing him, feelin gat least a little better then he had been.

"Tom!", he said, almost a little too happily.

"Hey guys, sorry i'm late, got held up in my last class...ready for lunch?", he fixed himself up and winked at the group. "I want to get pizza this time bit I might go for the chicken, but I wanna treat you guys this time If i can so you let me know if there's anything on the menu you want, I made some great allowance helping mom clean up our house.".

One of these days marco would have to pay for him, repay how much he liked to pay for his friends so much.

Jackie greeted tom herself, complimenting him on his outfit as they all started heading off to get something to eat. She and star continued talking, the boys behind them, tom looking at the back of star's head as they did. Marco tugging on the straps of is backpack, looking for a subject to talk about that would distract his mind from it's strange mess. Though the stares he was receiving from some of his classmates were not helping at all.

Lucky for him, tom was already ready to talk.

"Hey...so I was thinking, would you wanna go to a concert sometimes...together?", he clutched his jacket, biting at his lips. "Love Sentence is touring soon in the future so...I was wondering...if you'd like to go together, I've never gotten to go to a concert with a friend before...and we had so much fun singing their songs together so if it's cool with you I could get us tickets?".

Marco didn't even have to think about it too hard.

A wide grin on his face followed by a fast, "Yes!", a concert sounded awesome frankly, it was a good time to just get out of the house and get some fresh air. And he could use more fresh air these days, anything to distract him. It meant her didn't have to worry about jeremy or Brittney or school or jackie. He could sit back and have fun and not have all these thoughts hurting his brain.

Tom seemed to just know how to distract him.

Though as he felt tom playfully put an arm around marco's shoulders he felt his body tense up, though he didn't say anything to tom about it, not wanting to make himself look like an idiot in front of the boy.

Ever since the sleepover he's started feeling more...strange around tom, like he enjoyed his presence even more then usual or he got more worried about screwing up in front of tom. Marco lately had summed it up as him having grown much closer to tom, after all, sharing such personal stuff to each other was a clear sign of them becoming closer friends and trusting each other.

And marco just felt more anxious about breaking tom's trust or screwing up in front of him.

That'd explain a lot of his actions recently frankly.

Star and Jackie continued to remain talking as they got to the cafeteria, all of them getting lunch together before jackie said she had to head to a different table with some of her other friends, leaving star and the boys to sit at their regular table. Tom seemed to be checking to marco to see if that bothered him but marco seemed fine, and marco simply shrugged to him.

"It's ok, she sits with us on most days anyway.".

They started munching on pizza and talking about their recent classes, tom gulping down some chocolate milk and going off about how much he's been enjoying art class recently. Star joined it, if only to talk about how much she fingerpaints and how much the teachers tell her she's using way too much glitter on a sculpture of all things, making tom call her out on how that would ruin the clay.

Yeah these two were on some similar levels weren't they?

No wonder tom liked star.

Though marco did seem to feel a little left out as they laughed together, even if tom was edging him on with other conversations to get him to share about his classes today and how stressful his homework was. He liked seeing them friends, it was way better then seeing them fight like star was basically doing, but something just seemed to bug him.

He pushed those thoughts away, he didn't want to be selfish, not when tom liked star so much.

Tom didn't have a problem with him and jackie, he shouldn't care so much about tom and star.

He pushed it down, taking breaths, he needed to relax and focus, he was hanging out with his best friends and he was letting his weird emotions get to him. He took a sip of juice before taking out his phone to show off some cute cat photos to his pals. If anything were to distract these two, it seemed to be extremely cute animals, especially tiny fluffy ones.

Their smiling faces helped make marco feel a little better, tom and star showing off some animal clips and pics as well to the boy. They were both so cheerful, so goofy, seeing them happy really made marco's day. He just liked having them around to keep him company and stop him from spending his days alone and chasing after a girl. Sure, he on occasion hung out with people like Ferguson and Alphonso, a couple of nerds he knew since elementary school.

But tom and star felt different, like genuine friends, not like he hung out just not to be alone and worry his parents.

He felt something with them, he really did.

Maybe that was why he was getting so emotional, he found something valuable.

And he didn't want to lose it.

"Geez...that girl is still staring at us...", star mumbled, staring off to another table where brittney and the other cheerleaders sat, gossiping and glancing over to their table on occasion. It was mostly probably more about tom but tom didn't seem to either notice most of the stuff going around about him, or he pretty much was ignoring it like crazy.

Or maybe people were just too afraid to say it to his face after finding out how strong he was.

That would check out.

Tom glared at the head cheerleader, maybe he didn't know about the rumors but he did know she was giving them all a rather unpleasant look right now and that was enough for him to not like this girl.

She smelled of bad news all over, like she was looking for anything to start something. He'd dealt with people like that before of course, this was far from anything new for him, but there was a apart of him that wanted to tell her off for her disgusted gaze. He didn't like the way she was looking at him, star, or marco as he kept his anger and annoyance in silence.

Though he tried to keep positive around his friends, trying to simply ignore her gaze, "Who cares...anyways...can I come over to study with you guys? Not because I need a lot of help but uh...considering star's grades...". She pouted at tom, how often were him and marco both gonna keep commenting on her grades? They weren't THAT bad were they?

"That seems fair...", marco could never say no to having tom come over and hang out.

She gave marco a dirty look, though it wasn't clear if she was bothered more by the comment or tom just coming along. She never liked to be lectured on her grades by anyone, whether her mom or marco as they were the ones to normally do it.

Marco didn't even defend himself, crossing his arms.

"What? You don't exactly get a ton better from studying with me, maybe tom might help a lot more! I mean, it's worth a shot, besides...you barely listen to me when we study anyway, I don't think tom being there will make it any worse then it already is.".

Besides, more hangout time with tom was always a good thing, especially since marco was in a bad mood to begin with.

Star protested even after lunch and their last period of classes, clearly still not happy about studying. But with tom being dropped off with them and the fact they always studied at marco's house, she didn't have much of a say in the matter. Tom was going to stay no matter what she she didn't wanna go home and deal with her parents instead, so studying it was.

Tom was gonna study with them, period.

And hopefully it might help her grades in some way so star didn't end up repeating a year of school.

As star headed upstairs to marco's room in a rush, marco patted tom on the back, " It's ok, she'll get over it, besides...it'll give you more time to spend with your crush and stuff.". It was a sweet gesture and tom seemed to appreciate it, but marco couldn't lie and say he felt like he wanted to spend more time with tom instead. Not to keep tom from his crush, but seeing them having fun without him...made him feel weird.

He wanted to spend time with him, just a little more today, if only because he felt he needed the company.

Lucky for him, tom seemed to be in no rush to mess with star, asking marco to grab some snacks before they headed up. Marco helping him make some cheesy pretzels to bring up to his room and to share with their weird friend. Tom smiling bright and laughing at the jokes marco was making to him, mostly about how star tried everything in her power to not study.

He really liked hearing tom laugh.

Maybe soon they could do another sleepover, but in marco's room next time.

Tom playfully butted him as they went into marco's room, where star already put off studying to play on her phone instead, ignoring both boys intentionally and overall just wasting time so she didn't have to study. It was so much like star, she was like a painful little sister, and marco hoped to god his baby sister didn't turn out like she when she got to be this age.

Star would probably be a bad influence on her.

"Star~", marco said, teasingly, "C'mon, we got study time!".

"Yeah, well I am studying!", she said in a rather rude voice all things considered, of course she hated studying but still.

Marco looked over her phone to see she was playing one of those cute mobile dress up games and raised an eyebrow, "Uh huh? Studying what? What to wear tomorrow?". He got it, studying was not fun at all, but star had to do it or she would get in serious trouble. Last thing she needed was another reason for her mom to get frustrated with her by the sounds of it.

"Star...c'mon, promise, it won't be so bad this time...we can start with English if you want", he pulled out a book from his backpack from their class and waved it in front of her, "You gotta read star".

"Read to me instead, it'll be more fun!", she said back, still on her phone, marco tapping his foot like an impatient mother.

"But if you're not paying attention, what's the point?".

The food was set aside and tom took the book from marco, breezing through it, "Well, maybe the best way for star to study is to do it in a transformative way? Maybe we like...tell her the story in a way to make it exciting for her?". Marco could see what tom was getting at and honestly it's possible it might actually work, though tom had better come up with something good for it to work.

Yet tom seemed to want marco's guidance, judging by how he was looking at him. He still appreciated that tom was asking him for impust, even if marco didn't always know what he was supposed to do to help.

"Uh...no offence tom, I'm not much of the "Creative type", I'm more the flighty nerd guy, not really the 'artsy' type", but the boy shook his head, "C'mon marco, you love action and adventure, you got some creative juices flowing up there, besides...I could use your help, so maybe this is a good time to maybe get a hang of it?". He was practically begging for it with those eyes and marco couldn't say no to him, guess it really couldn't hurt to help out his best friends with this.

"Alright, fine...I'll give it a shot with you...so...you finished this book already?".

He nodded, "I sorta read it at home after dinner, i'm not a super big reader so i thought the sooner i finish it the better so i can play video games and stuff, but knowing you you're been reading it chapter by chapter and are still only halfway through the book...right?". How did he know? Was marco really this predictable that tom knew him like the back of his hand? Though tom seemed pretty proud he got marco on that one, he was really getting a hang of his personality.

"Don't...spoil it for me...ok?", he asked under his breath.

"I got you...besides, we're not saying exactly what happened, but helping star processing it in a way she'll like!". That was true, marco would probably finish the rest without truly being spoiled on what happened since tom was masking everything. Hopefully star would actually understand instead of being dreadfully confused about everything tom was trying to say to her.

But who knew with star, she might just ignore all of it, she tended to forget a lot of what she was taught days after anyway.

"Star? Hey, here...we'll tell you a bit about the story", tom tapped her shoulder and she grumpily turned around to see tom open the book and pulled marco to sit next to him on the bed.

She didn't seem all that excited, but what else could they do?

"So in this story, we got this cool fierce girl, and she's out looking for treasure, and she's working with these guys she doesn't really like...but learns to like, and there's betrayal and she has to survive...". He was summing it up and making it more exciting then it probably was, but it was getting star's attention, at least for a little bit. Her crown dissipating a little.

"So she like fights for her life against enemies and well...", he looked to marco, "Not to spoil the ending but...it gets wild!".

Star looked a bit skeptic, but more interested then she did before.

So it seemed to be working, even if it was only for a little bit.

Tom continued further, not disclosing all the details and replacing some of the aspects with something else but star was starting to get more and more interested then this then her phone as tom went on, marco quickly joining in. Though maybe the two of them were getting off track just a little as it devolved into a story involving fairs and dragons and demons.

Tom insisting that the demons aren't evil, but just tricky, and that there was a demon who was in love with the human girl protagonist.

With tom's love of creepy and spooky things, his want to have the scary monsters be seen as good people was rather unsurprising, instead of being defeated, tom wanted them as the hero of the story.

Honestly he should his own story someday, he seemed to really enjoy it and have a knack for it. With his fun demonic heros and a magical land, it seems like something tom would have a blast doing since he seemed to be able to come up with this all off the bat.

Definitely not in the story, but marco had to admire tom's creativity, he was pretty good.

The study session actually seemed to get star to take out her book and start reading, even if technically they weren't being entirely truthful, but getting her excited about reading was a good thing if any.

Hopefully this would get her to maybe read more books in the future if they could do that.

As the session progressed, marco felt they had made some progress, even if they had partially goofed off quite a bit throughout the whole thing. Their homework got finished and the three soon found themselves watching some movies together downstairs later that night, marco resting in between his two best friends and laughing alongside them both.

He was actually feeling a lot better, maybe they could get more study sessions like this soon?

Where marco could just rest and relax and enjoy himself and not...worry so much, like he seemed to do way too much as is.

Though he soon felt drowsy, clearly everything of the day finally wearing him down. His eyes were starting to close and his head was nodding off, he was sinking into the couch and he could barely keep himself up and awake anymore, his friend's voices becoming a blur.

His head falling over unknowingly onto tom's shoulder next to him, tired and falling to sleep. Tom was not yet asleep but didn't push marco away either, allowing the boy to rest against him, snoring softly. Tom smiled, watching the rest of the movie with his friends next to him. Ignoring star, who was staring right at them with a smile and a raised eyebrow.

Tom closing his eyes for a nap himself, his head resting on marco's.

Comfortable, and happy.

Marco woke up later, stretching himself out only to find the bodies of his two friends were both gone. His hands instead patting the surface of the couch and his eyes finally awaking to find himself alone in his living room.

He rubbed his eyes, thinking maybe he was dreaming, but as he blinked again, no, he was indeed awake. His best friends just were no longer beside him on the couch, or anywhere in sight for that matter.

His friends went home? Without even telling him bye? No, that didn't seem like something they'd do.

Or were they in the bathroom or something?

He yawned, how long had he been asleep exactly? He remembered the movie and next thing he new...he was nodding off.

Then he heard voices coming from upstairs and got up and off the couch, fixing his hair to head upstairs and see where his friends were. The voices seemingly coming from the boy's bedroom. Marco wanted to just head in and see them before they headed home tonight, but he found himself pressing an ear against his own door instead, wondering what the two could be talking about that led to them locking themselves inside his own room.

This was probably wrong.

But-

Something seemed...off, and marco had to know what was going on just in case his friends were up to something bad. For all he knew star was about to do something stupid and dangerous again.

"Are you going to tell him?", star asking, seemingly coming from where his bed normally was, probably meaning she was sitting on it. Knowing her, she was the one who suggested to go in marco's room, janna told her well enough about it's locks after all.

"I'm not sure...I mean, I want to...I think I should but...what would he think? I mean, you and me...we're-"., Tom said, the sound of footsteps following him, he must've been pacing around.

"I'm sure he wouldn't care THAT much tom, probably", she said back, and knowing her, she was probably shrugging or something, he legs hanging off the bed and kicking.

"They why do I have to tell him, why not you?"

The pacing seemed to stop.

"You know why...if you don't say anything he'll figure it out on his own eventually...It's hard enough keeping it secret as is...".

Secret? What secret?

Tom had a secret? And star was in on it?

"Star, even you avoided telling him, clearly it does matter to you if you haven't said anything already...", knowing tom he was crossing his arms at her, making a face and looking disapproving to the girl. At leas that's how marco imagined it going knowing his friends right now.

Star didn't respond, marco pressing against the door further.

"Ok fine, but like...he's kinda our best friend...we gotta stop meeting in secret, otherwise he's gonna walk in on us and well...I'm not sure how we'd talk our way out of it. We're already on a tightrope around him at this point, you know he'll catch on soon.". Tightrope? Star was terrible at lying to marco about much of anything! What could she possibly hide from him he wouldn't know about?

"We'll need time to figure it out...I guess...".

Star sighed, "Yeah, just...be careful in the meantime...".

"I could say the same for you...you aren't exactly super subtle...", tom teased, and marco could imagine star pouting and crossing her arms. "Meh, let's just get back to marco...we have to head out soon anyway...we don't wanna leave without saying goodbye!". Marco felt a shudder through his body before quickly moving from the door to head back downstairs and back on the couch.

He didn't want them to know he heard them, or knew something was up.

Though the whole thing left his mind wandering as he tried to pretend to be asleep, first tom and star talk and work things out without him knowing. Now he finds they're sharing secrets and talking behind his back? Maybe he was taking this too far, his friends could talk without him, but it just...bothered him. He had so many questions, that when the two came back downstairs, he failed to hide his nervousness as he "Woke up".

"Hey Marco! Sorry to wake you, but we better get back home!", Tom motioned to star, "Thanks for inviting me...i'll text you later ok?". It seemed tom nor star had noticed marco's weird smile too well, probably assuming marco was just startled awake by their presence. Tom went in for the hug, marco wrapping his arms around him softly before star joined in.

The two sending him waves and smiles as they headed out, marco left feeling stranger and stranger.

What was going on?

Marco spent way too long that night trying to process everything, his emotions were getting weird, his friends were acting weird.

Was he just going crazy?

He was probably taking this all way too seriously, whatever tom and star wanted to tell them they could tell them in their own time, he shouldn't be snooping through something that was personal for them. It just felt...strange, he never got left out by his best friends like this before, he was used to star and tom sharing stuff with him, what made this different?

Did marco do something wrong?

He was beating himself up mentally for thinking like that, of course not, it must be something different entirely.

Hopefully.

Hanging out with them the next day, marco was struggling to try and hide the fact that he knew something. That he knew something that he wasn't supposed to know about, trying to be normal as the two of them talked, he was too distracted to even focus on jackie when she waved to him that day. He tried to play it off as lack of sleep but he did feel like tom suspected something.

Tom was already getting their tickets and smiling and talking and Marco couldn't even enjoy it as much as he wanted to, worried he'd slip that he spied on his best friends and listened in on them.

Star had lessons that night and tom told marco he'd be busy that night helping his parents go shopping, so marco was left to his own devices as he did his homework. He couldn't focus though, it was hard to when his mind was wandering so much. He wished he had his friends here to help distract him but all he had now were his own thoughts and nothing else.

He sighed, looking at his empty bedroom.

He wondered if they were talking to each other more often without him, and what they said to each other.

Tap tap.

"AHHH!", marco nearly tossed his book aside, practically fainting as janna opened his window and popped her way inside. The girl loved to do stuff like this but BOY was marco not in the mood for her nonsense. Janna must've known marco was alone tonight, deciding it was a great time to break in and mess with him, because of course this was the time she wanted to break in.

"JANNA!".

"Hey marco!", she said, smirking, shutting the window behind her, "Mind if i drop in? No? Good.". She casually strode in, right to Marco's closet, digging through it for anything of use. "So star and tom are out tonight? Never thought they'd leave you alone, they're always attached to your hip like glue. But hey, finally means I get my chance to hang out in here.".

"Since when do you care about if you break in when people are looking?".

She shrugged, "I don't, I just prefer to not have any distractions when I'm bothering you.". She said it so casually, and marco snorted at her while she went through his things, though considering his resistance to her actions, janna had a feeling something was up. Marco usually started flipping out about her but now he just seemed...blank and sad.

She looked at his face, stopping what she was doing before giving him a look.

"Uh...what's wrong with you?".

"It's none of your beeswax janna...".

However, this only encouraged her, standing up, "Y'know, if you don't tell me i can easily hypnotize you into telling my yourself right? So I mean, would you rather tell em now or have me spill all your dark secrets to the world?". Marco became red faced, of course she went there, of course, he should have known better then to give her any reason to be suspicious.

Fantastic.

"Look it's just...star and tom are talking without me and I think they're hiding something from me and...".

"Oh? So they're dating now in secret and you're getting jealous?".

Marco was caught entirely off guard from that response, "W-what?".

"Dude, c'mon, it's obvious, they're dating and have no idea how to tell you...probably think it'll hurt your friendship or something...c'mon now", she said this so plainly, like marco was stupid for never actually thinking it beforehand. Marco was not sure how to respond, it was just like janna to make stuff like this up for the purpose of messing with him.

But she almost seemed to make sense, her claim at least.

Tom and Star did meet in secret without telling marco and seem to patch things up between them, and they did seem to look at each other a bit, and he did know tom had been pursuing her for a bit. But without telling marco? That didn't seem like tom much at all, tom and him were always talking about their crushes and helping each other out , why not say anything?

Maybe he could see Star not tell him considering how she felt about tom before.

But Tom?

"In denial huh?", Janna was being way too smug right now and marco didn't like one bit of it, "Hey, that's fine dude, don't complain to be when they start meeting more in secret, going on dates, kissing at lunch in front of you...". marco suddenly got very red faced and pushed her away from him, "Just...stop, I-I'm not...jealous, even if they were dating now...why would I be jealous? They'd be happy right? it's what tom wants."

Janna was still smirking, "I mean, it's getting a bit obvious...but I mean, it's fine, it'll be funnier watching you deal with it yourself". Marco was about ready to kick her from his home at this point, having it up to here with this. "Look, I've told everyone countless time over and over...ever since she arrived, me and star are NOT an item?! Ok? I don't have a crush on her!".

"I mean, I didn't say it had to be star...".

"Out!"

Marco was already pushing her out of his room and shutting the door behind her before resting his back against it and sighing, what if she was right? What if Tom and Star were dating in secret?

What if marco really was starting to get...jealous?

He shook his head, no no, he's starting to fall for more of her nonsense again, he really should stop falling for it, unless he wanted to get himself into more trouble. Janna was not the most truth worthy person around and he should know better then to listen to a word coming from her mouth. She was simply trying to mess with him, mess with his emotions and get him upset.

And Marco was just letting her.

Next time he saw star and tom, he was going to be a better friend, more trusting, less of a mess as he was for now.

If janna ruined their friendships over this nonsense he was going to explode.

He took a moment to breathe, he just needed some sleep, he was getting too worked up over this. Then he heard janna talking to his parents downstairs and immediately opened the door, he shoved janna out of his room, not his house! Who knows what she was doing downstairs! Marco quickly opened the door and headed downstairs, seeing his parents laughing with janna on the couch, making marco even more frustrated as they all waved at him.

"Marco! We didn't know you had a friend over!".

"I don't.", he said bitterly.

Janna smirked at him, lying back on the couch and enjoying herself, "Marco was just telling me about his crush on-". Marco shushed her as loud as possible, "Sorry guys, but janna is leaving, before pulling janna from the couch. Janna didn't even protest as marco pulled her away and towards the door," C'mon, stop busting into my house, what if i was naked?!".

"Fine with me.".

"Out."

Janna was pushed out the door and before marco could even close it she leaned herself against it, "C'mon marco, you've had to have at least considered it? You sure aren't getting this way about jackie." Marco was so red faced and embarrassed and he just wanted her out, shutting the door in her face, what did she know about his feelings? She couldn't read minds.

And she was questioning how much he liked jackie? She was with them since kindergarten! Of course she was aware of marco's long crush on jackie! She used to tease him about it all the time! Marco sighed and locked the door, his parents watching him curiously, probably worried something was seriously wrong with him. He smiled and pointed to the stairs, "I'm...going to get some rest...I'll see you tomorrow.".

He quickly headed upstairs, still red in the face.

Opening his door to find-

"Janna!?".

"Yo."

There she was, sitting on his bet, eating chips.

He forgot to lock the window.

"Janna for pete's sake, why can't you just leave me alone!", marco shouted at her, janna munching on her food to herself. "Alright fine marco, i'll go, but like, you outta be careful, before you hurt someone's feelings.". She shrugged before heading out of the window, the window shutting behind her and leaving marco in the dust. Marco feeling a weight off him but somehow...he almost regretted her going.

Like he didn't want to be alone.

He sat on his knees, thinking heavily about all the words coming from janna's mouth, messing with his hair.

"I don't...I don't know why my best friends don't want to tell me the truth but...whatever reason it's for, it has to be important to them", he liked his lips, brushing at his face, "They're my friends, if they're dating, i should just wait till they come out and tell me, wait until they're ready...right? Right. I have to be here to support them, I...I need to trust them.".

Then he remembered what else she said and shook his head.

"No no...none of that, they're just my friends...star is my best friend, tom is...", he felt himself hesitate with that one a bit more, "Best friend, he's just my best friend...and tomorrow...i'm gonna be the best friend i can possibly be for both of them".

#star vs the forces of evil #svtfoe #svstfoe #tom the demon #tomco #marco #marco diaz #fanfiction #star butterfly #janna ordonia #jackie lynn thomas #my art

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