#We sometimes underestimate just how much we need love.
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deva-arts · 4 months ago
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After drawing Nate meeting himself all that time ago I had an idea for Vincent to do the same! so here's another baby Vince. Vincent's terrible twos were ironically pretty muted. He was just endlessly curious and always followed technicians around.
Ever feel like you've become so disconnected and adrift from what you once were that you are now the unrecognizable product of your surroundings and you will never be able to return to the time where you were whole? No? Well Vincent is! Yay for incomprehensible emotions that take forever to process!
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hplonesomeart · 2 months ago
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Hey!! So turns out a video I made between a certain “well beloved but highly sensitive/emotionally reactive T.V” and an “orange haired inkling-turned-human” has managed to sweep my YouTube channel and accumulate 100k VIEWS!! THAT’S A LOT OF PEOPLE ACTUALLY?? My most widely viewed video EVER to exist in this moment in time?? AAAAA?? Not even mentioning the various comments and staggering increase in subs! It’s so much more then what I expected or even prepared for—might even be the most impactful thing to happen for me this year <3
…aside from graduating high school + the social connections I’ve been fortunate to make lol
BUT THE POINT IS I’d been closely monitoring the YouTube growth through the entirety of October. It’s make me smile like a dork, gawk in astonishment, dance frantically in my room from the energy boosts, and grow courage to stop being so selective/self-conscious with what I wish to share with the world! It’s kept my ambitions going!
I needed to find some way to celebrate the occasion and express my thanks—because I can’t NOT acknowledge this milestone jksjskp. Typically I try to avoid getting tunnel visioned focusing on the metrics/numbers. Mr. Puzzles had already demonstrated how much those things can mess with the minds of creatives. Caring too much about chasing views or placing your artistic value in attention seeking gets damaging. But at same time…it’s hard to deny the sense of pride the 100k achievement has filled me with. I understand that reaching 100k views doesn’t immediately make me any “better” or “worse” then I was before. I’m still just me! It only helps me feel seen by others—and that’s all I really needed. To hear some nice words & receive reminders that my ideas are cared about. So thank you SMG4 fandom for that, seriously thank you.
Please accept this Mr. Puzzle drawing as a way of sharing the happiness around. He’s so entertaining. Love him for simply existing. So glad we can all collectively be super attached to him (and the rest of the SMG4 cast of course). Can’t wait to see more incredible artworks from the fandom :)
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Just incase anyone is confused by my vague description over which “animated video” I’m referring to here—hopefully this photo will help clarify lol. It’s this one!! Sorry about not outright stating the title at the start, I got carried away with writing!!
I’ve been in an odd place mentally when thinking about it. Wondering to myself if any of the attention is deserved considering it’s not even fully colored and could be dismissed as “low effort” content (despite taking several days making it). It’s easy to get into a trap of comparing yourself to others and questioning how much of the videos success is based on your skills, sheer algorithm luck, or only because you used popular characters and catered to a specific fandom. And then judging yourself by looking at other peoples videos. I’ve seen several artists post higher quality works then my own but it somehow gets less views. So why did mine succeed when others (who should have gotten just as much attention if not more) didn’t? Sometimes you feel like you’ve unfairly robbed them of that chance to be seen. However I’ve realized that I can’t ever expect views to be consistent—and comparing is pointless. So why worry about it or feel inadequate? I mean it’s pretty common for funny cat videos to go viral, so who am I to question the system lol. “Popular” YouTube videos can range from a passion project which took 7+ artists…to a clip of Toad singing Chandelier or a nonsensical Vine sketch. Anything can happen when it’s the internet! And just-so-happened my video was chosen. I should stay glad about that and get rid of all the overanalyzing. So that’s what I’ve chosen to do :)
#OKAY SO SO SO actually started doodling this once the video was around 98k this morning#it wasn’t even meant to be art specifically designed to celebrate the milestone at first#I just wanted to draw the funky fella who makes me laugh#but as you can see that changed up fast jksjksp#I was under the impression that my video wouldn’t reach near 100k until December UH?? WHAT HAPPENED MY PREDICTION THWARTED??#seems I’ve severally underestimated how long the traction would continue for geez wow uh#people sure do enjoy comedy gotta love ‘em laughs and giggles#I CAN’T BELIEVE WE REACHED IT THO. THAT’S INSANE TO ME—ALL THE SUPPORT AND COMMENTS AND SUBS#thank you SMG4 fandom I would’ve never fathomed the algorithm to carry it so far like this#you wanna know the real kicker?#things would have gone so differently for the channel if I didn’t wrestle with my anxiety & post there#because there was a point during that day where I fullheartedly figured it would cause me to loose subs#I was kinda terrified ngl#this goes to show that you should never hold yourself back from sharing different aspects of your interests#you don’t need to confine yourself to just one thing#or to strive only to make the most high quality videos ever (I put that pressure on myself a bit too much nowadays)#sometimes it’s the simple ideas that manage to charm people#and those who see the effort will stick around to support you. You just need to trust yourself during the process and take that chance :)#EWWWW MUSHY GUSHY SENTIMENTALITY CLOGGING UP THE ATTENTION HERE#whatever happened to keeping the focus on ✨the star✨ who made it all possible to begin with huuuu??#show a bit more gratitude to the charming TV who boosted the viewership in the first place…don’t be so self absorbed with morals lonesome 😒#what is this some sort of My Little Pony episode oh pleaseeeeee 🙄#<- all of that was a simulation of Puzzles interjecting and nagging a bit lol. I’d imagine he’s tried of my nonstop nonsense#….yea the Puzzle brainrot is reaching maximum severities. So there’s high chance I’ll be animating him more down the line :3#stick around to find out!!#hplonesome art
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amidnightqueery · 16 days ago
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I don't hate my job or anything, but man, being a float educator is so fucking thankless
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wonderjanga · 2 months ago
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Father’s Day
@autistic-human’s post and @moonlightcycle571’s comment on said post were the inspiration for this one. I love dad Marvel soooooo much, cause I think Billy would try his best to be a good adult figure without even realizing it can come off as parental. He’d just be doing what he would’ve wanted someone to do for him, which was be there for whichever kid no matter what. So what happens when a bunch of angsty teens with trauma meet him? He’s obviously going to try his best to be there for them!
Like Kon, when he first met Marvel, he didn’t really know what to think of the man. He was nice. Almost overwhelmingly so. He also helps Kon with anything if he ever needs help. He’s also almost always around and is willing to talk about virtually anything with Kon too. And this isn’t just exclusive to him, but to everyone. (It makes him feel slightly queasy sometimes. He hasn’t realized what he’s feeling is jealousy whenever his parental figure’s attention is on another kid.) So that’s why when Father’s Day came around and M’gann suggested they all do something for Marvel, he was a little dumbfounded. One, because he just came to the realization that he thinks of Marvel as a kinda dad, and two, because what were they going to do? Marvel isn’t actually their dad, so what if the Captain finds it weird? Kon really doesn’t want to think about Cap finding all of this weird.
The YJ eventually decided to just get Cap a gift. They were all pretty sure that’s what you were supposed to give fathers. Now the question is: what to give him?
Marvel: *goes to Mount Justice to check in on the kids*
YJ: *All in the kitchen fighting about how to frost the cookies cause they all did it differently*
Marvel: *hears them and comes to the kitchen*
YJ: *doesn’t notice him*
Kon: *Does notice and picks up his batch of cookies and goes to Marvel* “Cap.” *presents cookies to Billy*
Marvel: “Huh?” *stares at cookies. Kon’s cookies are a bunch of mishapen blobs with smiley faces* “Are these for me?”
Kon: *nods head* “They’re you.”
Marvel: *takes a cookie with one of the biggest smiles Kon has ever seen on the man’s face* “This is amazing… thanks Kon!” *bites cookie* “They’re really good too!”
Kon: “Really?” *eyes shining at the praise*
Marvel: “Yeah!” *finishes cookie and is about to grab another one*
Other YJ members: *now notice Marvel and Kon* “Wait! Wait! Wait! Try mine next!” *they all proceed to take turns shoving cookies into Marvel’s hands*
Marvel: *eats them all and gives each of them stellar reviews*
About after thirty minutes of Marvel and the kids eating cookies…
Marvel: “What was all this for by the way?”
YJ: “Huh?”
Marvel: “What was all this for? I mean, it’s not my birthday, so…” *doesn’t know it’s Father’s Day*
YJ: “Oh uh… We just felt like it.”
Marvel: “Oh. Okay!” *just happy to gobble the last, remaining cookies* “By the way, this means a lot to me. Even if it was just a spur of the moment thing. I appreciate it.”
YJ: *all super duper uper happy he loves it but trying not to show it* “No problem.” (Spoiler: they’re not very good at hiding it.)
Then there’s Damian. He’s always had a love-hate relationship with Marvel’s happy go lucky, friendly attitude, but it sort of reminds him of Grayson so he’ll never admit it but it’s leaning more towards love. The man has also weirdly never once gotten mad at him, or at anyone as far as he can tell. He’s extremely patient, and the fact that Damian hasn’t pushed the limits of that patience yet is surprising to the young Wayne. The man also knows a surprising about of animal facts and lets him pet his tiger. So that’s another bonus. The man also doesn’t underestimate him solely based on the fact he’s a child. So, when the Father’s Day holiday rolls around, he decides he would reward Marvel for being an admittedly commendable person.
Marvel: *standing by the window of the Titan’s tower, looking at Jump City*
Damian: *appears from nowhere* “Captain.”
Marvel: *jumps before looking to Damian* “Yes, Robin?”
Damian: *holds up Alfred the Cat* “This is Alfred the Cat. I’m giving you the privilege to pet him just this once. Say hi, Alfred.”
Alfred the Cat: *meows*
Marvel: “Hi.” *little wave to Alfred* “Nice to meet you, Alfred.” *shakes Alfred’s little paw before petting him*
Damian: *lets Marvel get a single pet in before pulling Alfred away* “Alright, that’s enough.”
Marvel: “Oh- uh…” *smiles at Damian* “Thanks for letting me pet him, Robin.”
Damian: “Your welcome.” *nods at him before walking off to bring Alfred back to the manor*
Then there’s also Raven. She honestly had no intention of even thinking about the holiday, considering the fact her father is a demon that actively sucks and ruins her life. Then she saw Damian do his thing and after thinking about the Captain and how the man cares for her and her team members… she supposed he should get some type of reward. The man is extremely nice after all.
A little while after Damian’s departure…
Marvel: *back to looking out the window*
Raven: *also appears out of nowhere* “Marvel.”
Marvel: *jumps just like with Damian and looks to her* “Yes, Raven?”
Raven: *presents Marvel with a mini version of himself*
Mini Marvel: *waves to Billy*
Marvel: “Wha?” *bends down slightly to look at Mini Marvel with a confused smile* “Is that me?”
Raven: *nods head* “It’s a new spell I learned. I wanted to show you.”
Marvel: *pokes Mini Marvel in the stomach* “This is… Amazing!” *gives her a wide grin* “You’re amazing!”
Raven: *a little surprised she feels happy at the man’s approval but isn’t really hating* “Thanks.”
Marvel: “Actually, wait. Hold up!” *mutters a spell and in his hand spawns a Mini Raven. He places the Mini Raven in Raven’s palm with the Mini Marvel*
Mini Marvel: *fawning over Mini Raven*
Mini Raven: *blankly staring at Mini Marvel and lets it fawn*
Marvel: “And you’re saying you learned this spell on your own?” *looks away from the Minis and to Raven* “That’s awesome. You did a wonderful job.”
Raven: *doesn’t really know how to handle all the praise* “Thanks… I’m uh… I think I left the stove on.” *instead of heading to the kitchen, runs off to her room*
Marvel ended up later telling the other members of the JL how many gifts he’s gotten that day. They were a little confused and wondered how many kids Marvel could have. But no, they found out that a lot of their own kids think of him as a somewhat father. Also, a few of the adults might’ve thought about slipping Marvel gifts when the man wasn’t looking cause Billy being a dad isn’t just exclusive to the kids.
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captainlunaxmen · 5 months ago
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First Sight
Dark!Coriolanus Snow x Fem!reader
Here we are! Sorry for the wait, but I thought I had everything planned out and... I didn't, so I'm sorry I made you wait this long❤️❤️❤️
Let me know what you think, please, because this is my first time writing a dark fic, so feedback is highly encouraged in this case🙏🙏🙏
Summary: Y/n has been part of the Covey since she can remember, when her best friend Lucy Gray is chosen for the Hunger Games her world is threatened, she need to stay strong for her family. She's never been one to love attention. She never wants to draw too much anyway, gladly leaving the stage to her best friend, but she managed to catch someone's attention anyway. A young, ambitious man from the Capitol saw her for just a moment, but that was enough to make an obsession grow inside him.
Warnings: dark fic, obsession, harassment, smut, rape.
Tag list:
@7s3ven @wintersforest @tallulah477 @diannnnsss @that-one-person-blue @kemo19
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"Are you sure you want to wear that?" Y/n asks her best friend as they get ready to, yet, another reaping day.
"Of course." Lucy Gray answers, simply as ever, "at least I'll look pretty when they say my name."
"If." Y/n reminds her, "if they say your name."
"After all that mess with Billy Taupe? Mayfair will surely ask her daddy to pull some strings." Lucy Gray slightly scoffs.
"Maybe not..."
"You're too optimistic sometimes." She smiles at her friends, fixing the colourful skirt down.
"I just don't want to think about the worst." Y/n replies, tightening the belt on her own dress.
"Better get used to it."
They share a look, one filled with hope yet resignation too. They smile at each other and walk hand in hand out their home to get to the town square for the annual reaping.
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They hold each other's hand until Lucy Gray's name is announced, and after a quick squeeze, she lets her friend's hand go to walk to the stage.
Y/n's breathing is heavy and frantic. She can't believe it, and when she notices Billy Taupe trying to talk to Lucy Gray, she has to contain herself from hitting him with a shoe... or two.
But her eyes are on her best friend walking up, and then she notices something in her hand. Y/n has to contain her laughter when Lucy Gray puts that something in Mayfair's dress. She can guess it was either a snake or a small lizard. Without much reaction to Mayfair's screams and the mayor's order to help his daughter Lucy Gray walk the stairs, but before she could get on, the mayor slaps her right in the face, making her fall Y/n's feet move on their own, she need to be blocked by a Peacekeeper to realise what was happening. She looks behind her to the rest of the Covey, scared and helpless. So the only thing that comes up to her mind is the only things that always help them all.
Music.
Y/n sings the first verse of one of their favourite songs, and when the other Covey follow Lucy Gray stands up and sings too.
She sends a sad smile to her family before walking away with Jessup and the Peacekeepers.
"Clear the square!" One of the Peacekeepers yells, and everyone starts to walk away to their own business.
"Let's go home." Y/n hugs Maude Ivory, and motion to the rest to follow her.
"Will we ever see her again?" CC asks.
"One thing about Lucy Gray is that she should never be underestimated." She replies, "So... she still hasn't sung her last song."
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Coriolanus Snow is a collected man. Whatever happens to him, he tries his best not to show any reaction to it. But he almost can't help the gasp after he saw the girl from 12. He noticed how she wanted to reach her friend after the mayor slapped her.
Some people would dare say it's love at first sight, Coriolanus doesn't exactly know what to believe, he never felt like that before, he feels like all he could do all day is think of her, just that and it would be almost enough for him... only having her would satisfy him properly.
But he can't risk it... he can't risk his winning for someone he only saw for mere seconds.
He needs to keep his eyes on the real goal.
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When he got home that day and talked to Tigris, he thought he left the girl in the back of her mind.
"I can't even imagine how her family must feel... that girl, did you see her?" Tigris asks, "her eyes when that man slapped Lucy Gray..."
"Yeah... she was ready to jump in and defend her." Coriolanus says casually, "she sang for her."
"I bet they sang a lot together... both of them got a beautiful voice." Tigris guesses, sadness evident in her voice.
"Beautiful indeed." Coriolanus whispers.
Now, his mind is back on her.
That nameless girl from 12. How did she manage to strike him like that? How she stepped out of line to reach her friend, how she sang for her. What was it?
"You okay, Coryo?" Tigris snaps him out of his thoughts.
"Who do you think she was?" He asks.
"Who?" Tigris is confused.
"That girl, the one who sang for Lucy Gray." He specifies.
"Oh... uhm.. I don't know. Her sister? Or maybe a friend, I don't know." She answers, still confused by her cousin's question. "Why do you want to know?"
"No reason." Coriolanus shakes his head, "Goodnight, Tigris."
Without waiting an answer he walks to his bedroom, gets ready for bed and lies on it with one thought in mind.
Surprisingly, not the Hunger Games.
No.
The nameless girl from 12.
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Y/n helped Maude Ivory carry the small television their neighbours landed them so they could keep up with the games and, most importantly, Lucy Gray.
"Remember you have to babysit their babies this week, okay?" Y/n tells the young girl as they plug the television in.
"Of course, are you going to sell your bread?"
"Yes, I left some dough to rise this morning. By tonight, it'll be ready to bake." She assures her.
"Is it on?" CC comes in followed by Tam Amber.
"I think... if I do this." Y/n hits the box hard, and suddenly the screen turns on.
"Careful!" Maude Ivory shouts.
"He told me it needs it sometimes. It's okay." Y/n waves her off as the screen finally shows some movements, still no sound, but it's still something.
"Who is that?" CC asks, as a man appears on the screen wearing a high-collared suit and gelled hair, "is he a clown?"
"Could be..." Y/n sighs.
"Where is he?" Tam Amber asks, getting closer.
"No idea... there are bars behind him... I think..." Y/n tries to answer, but the scene is not clear yet, so she hits the television again.
"Y/n!"
"See? Now it's better." Y/n nonchalantly says, "seems like a cage... wait..."
"There's people inside." CC notices, "are those the tributes?"
"Oh god... probably."
"Can you see Lucy Gray?" Tam Amber asks.
"There... I think she's the only one wearing so much colour." Muade Ivory points at a point in the back.
"Yes, that's her... who's that with her?" Y/n moves closer to the screen, "he looks too cleaned up to be a tribute."
"No idea." CC says.
The host notices them too and apparently asks them to get closer.
Y/n looks more attentively at the guy, inspecting him now closer to the camera, it's clear he's not from the districts.
"Could it be someone from the Capitol?" The little one suggests.
"He could be... but why is he in there?" Y/n sighs, frustrated, "damn it, why can't we hear anything?"
"Y/n! I'm so sorry!" Barb yells from the kitchen.
Y/n is immediately on her feet running to her.
"What happ-" she starts but stops as soon as she see the bowl with the dough she prepared on the floor, "how?"
"I was cleaning and I accidentally hit it. I'm so sorry." Barb Azure explains, apologising again.
"It's..." Y/n lets out a puff of air, "it's okay, I can still save some. Don't worry."
"I'm really sorry."
"It's okay, really." She immediately pick up what she can from the floor, "I can save some. We'll just sell a little less than usual, tomorrow I'll make more."
"I'm..."
"Don't, it's okay, I promise. Go see Lucy Gray on TV, c'mon." She nudges the girl and kneel down to clean, " go."
Y/n watches Barb Azure disappear in the other room, takes a deep breath and goes back to work.
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They managed with selling the bread, the milk, the occasional jewellery Y/n makes and the performance at the Hob to survive.
Y/n haven't been sleep well since Lucy Gray entered the Arena. She's glad Jessup and her managed to escape the toher tributes and found somewhere to hide. But Y/n can't help the anxiety devouring her everyday, she tries to ease the Covey, making them distracted with everything she could think of, but even singing and dancing isn't the same.
Y/n decided to forbid them from watching the games after Jill's, she thinks her name was, death and Reaper lined up the corpses of the others. She didn't want to risk them seeing Lucy Gray among them... she doesn't even know is she herself could.
But tonight Y/n feels like she needs to watch, she has to, for Lucy Gray, a way to be with her. She tries to spot her in the arena, and when the screen show Coral and Treech finding her in a air vent, Y/n stands immediately getting closer to the screen, and needs to hold in a scream when Coral manages to male her friend fall.
Out of her hiding space.
Back in the arena.
Suddenly a giant tank is lowered into the arena Y/n feels her breath stop. Nothing good could come out of there, nothing good comes from the Capitol.
The little girl from 8 get closer, thinking it's their signal they're going home, but unfortunately the tank breaks and thousands of colourful snakes creep out covering her small figure, most likely killing her.
They all run, run to a higher ground, the boy from 4 falls and the snakes caught up with him.
Lucy Gray and Coral run, while Reaper lets the snake take him.
Y/n holds her breath as she watches Coral say something to Lucy Gray, unfortunately they never managed to fix the sound so she can't hear them, but she can understand when Coral is dead, as the snakes tie themselves around her.
That leaves Lucy Gray the last one... she's won.
"What..."
Why aren't they letting her out? Usually they stop once there's only one left.
Lucy Gray keeps backing away from the snakes, and Y/n can see her mouth moving, she doesn't hear, but she can guess she's singing. Usually snakes there in 12 like music, maybe she's trying it with the Capitol's ones too.
When Lucy Gray's face points direct the camera it's clear ad the day that she's singing, with all the strength she has.
"Let her out." Y/n whispers.
Suddenly, the screen changes signaling that Lucy Gray indeed won the Hunger Games.
"Oh my god!" Y/n can't help but scream, she doesn't care if everyone is already asleep.
"What's going on?" Tam Amber walks in, sleepy face and all, followed by Maude Ivory.
"She won!" Y/n screams again.
"Lucy Gray won?!" Moude Ivory immediately runs to hug Y/n.
"She did it!"
"Does that mean she's coming home?" CC asks, he too arrived after hearing all the noise, Barb Azure too.
"I think so." Y/n nods, smiling like never before, a heavy burden is finally off her shoulders and she can let out a sigh of relief, "she's coming home."
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"Your life has just begun." Sejanus tells him as they both travel to district 12, "you're gonna do great. We're both gonna do great."
"Just be careful, okay?" Coriolanus says to him, "it's a different world out here."
"Look at the bright side." He simply replies, and Coriolanus sends him a questioning look, "she might be there."
"Who are you talking about?"
"I heard you and Lucy Gray talking once." He starts, "you asked about the girl who sang for her at the reaping ceremony."
"I.." Coriolanus is caught off guard.
"You're lucky, Ma always told me stories when I was younger about love at first sight." He explains, "the way you ask more and more about her... you can't fool me." He lets out a small chuckle.
"And if she's not there?" Coriolanus asks.
"Why wouldn't she?"
"What if they killed Lucy Gray and she just doesn't want to have anything to do with me? How about that?" He challenges.
"They wouldn't. She was a hit, Coryo. There's no reason for them to kill her." Sejanus tells him, "so you know her name?"
Of course he does, it's the very first thing he asked Lucy Gray. He's been reciting her name since he learned it.
"Y/n." He smiles as he says it.
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"You're singing with me tonight." Lucy Gray warns Y/n, as they gather the instruments they need for tonight's performance, the first since Lucy Gray got back.
"I am... so not doing it." Y/n replies, shaking her head.
"Why not?" She pouts.
"Because I... I'm not." Y/n simply answer, not meeting her eyes.
But Lucy Gray doesn't give up so easily, she tries to make eye contact with her friend, she knows she wouldn't resist.
"Give me a good reason." Lucy Gray challenges again.
"Because... The people want you." Y/n tells her, "you're better at singing than me."
"That's not true." Maude Ivory chimes in, "they loved you."
"Thank you..." Y/n says sarcastically, "I'm not doing it."
"Oh c'mon, I got back, think of it as a welcome back present!" Lucy Gray nudges her friend, "pleeeease."
"Nope, I was almost fainting the whole time I was on stage." Y/n shake her head once again, "not gonna happeen" she sings the last bit.
"You had to refuse me with that beautiful voice of yours too?" Lucy Gray accuses with a laugh.
"Yap." Y/n replies, "c'mon, we don't want tot be late."
"This is not the end." Lucy Gray warns her friend before taking her hand and then, with the rest of the Covey, head to the Hob.
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Coriolanus couldn't contain himself, he can't wait to get out and find his girl.
She is his, he can't see it any other way.
They enter the Hob and Sejanus goes to get them a drink, while Coriolanus looks around, taking in the place, listening to the music.
His eyes find themselves on the stage, as a little girl goes to the mic.
"Is it hot in here?"
They must be the Covey Lucy Gray talked so much about, but he still can't spot Y/n. Where could she be?
The audience cheers loudly
"'Cause we're planning on heating it up a set more!" The girl screams, "the one, the only, Lucy Gray Baird!"
Coriolanus' ears perk up at her name, maybe his girl is with her.
Lucy Gray enters the stage, spinning with her guitar in hand, smiling as brightly as ever.
"Oh hey district 12, did you miss me?" She asks the audience, that immediately replies with a loud "Yes!"
"I bet you never expected to lay eyes on me again. And let me tell you, that goes both ways, but I am back. " She cheers, "I sure am back. Oh is that bottle there for me?" She asks pointing at a bottle of alcohol someone's holding up, " oh c'mon y'all, you know I gave up drinking when I was 12," she fakes complain and takes a sip, "just to clear my pipes, just to clear my pipes! Now, how about a song, uh?" Everyone cheers, happy, "but, I can't, you know." The audience lets out confused and discontent noises, Lucy Gray glances slightly at the side of the stage, in the dark Coriolanus can't see anything, "it's been a while and I don't feel like singing alone tonight. But I'm afraid, my sweet best friend, won't do me the favour... how about you help me convince her?"
The audience immediately burst into a wave of cheers and applauses.
"Do you want her?"
The cheering gets louder.
"Y/n!" Lucy Gray yells, "c'mon out, babes!"
"Y/n. Y/n. Y/n!" The audience chants.
And at last, she walks on the stage, glaring at her friend playfully.
Coriolanus heart skips a beat as he watch her walking to her friend, he never thought he could get more enamoured with her, but here she is, and he can't seem to take his eyes off her. The way she takes the guitar Lucy Gray offers her, the way she timidly smiles at the audience, once again glaring at her friend for putting her in this position.
"See? They love you!" Lucy Gray points at the audience, "now, let's show them how it's done!"
Lucy Gray nudges her friend with her hip as Y/n starts to play the guitar.
Coriolanus eyes are solely on her, and she isn't even aware of it, he can afford admiring her a little more before making her his.
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Lucy Gray is the happiest since she managed to have Y/n sing and dance with her, but the moment he notices a familiar pair of eyes he freezes for an instant.
Coriolanus Snow is here in 12, and he's looking, no... he's staring at her friend.
She notices his weird interest in Y/n from the many unusual questions he made when they were talking. She didn't like how he was talking and asking about her friend like that, like he thought she was his already. She always dismissed it as a stupid sensation, maybe it's exactly that, just her sensation. He might like her, but nothing bad... not necessarily. She doesn't want to think bad of it.
Of course she told the Covey about everything that happened in the Capitol, she just didn't mention this particular thing, to protect her.
She take advantage of an instrumental break to tell Y/n.
"He's here." She says.
"Who?" Y/n asks, looking at the crowd, locking eyes with a blonde man.
"My mentor, the one I talked to you about." Lucy Gray answers.
"Is he blonde?" Y/n asks and Lucy Gray nods,"Why is he here?"
"No idea."
Y/n simply shrugs and keeps play while Lucy Gray sings, unfortunately their performance is cut short by Billy Taupe intervention.
"Fuck..." Y/n sighs, keeping playing, "it's not the first time he acts like that."
"I know you miss me, Lucy Gray." Billy Taupe drunkenly says getting closer to the stage, followed by Mayfair trying to stop him.
"You said you wouldn't play with them anymore." She complains.
Lucy Gray looks at the Covey rolling her eyes, Y/n rolls her own in agreement.
Suddenly Billy Taupe almost jumps on stage grabbing Lucy Gray's skirt.
"Don't touch me! After what you did, don't touch me." Lucy Gray orders him, kicking her foot to let him go of her skirt
"Y/n... Please, you're kind, you know you're all not the same without me." He moves to take Y/n's skirt now, "c'mon, make her see reason."
"Let go." Y/n tells him, she moves backwards but his grip makes her stumble and falls to the ground. Lucy Gray kneels to help her pull her skirt back.
A second later Billy Taupe is thrown to the side, making him lose his grip. The two girls look at the direction he was thrown, and they see that blonde man hitting him hard until another recruit stops him and takes him outside.
"Are you okay?" Lucy Gray asks, helping her friend to stand up.
"Yeah, yeah, all good." Y/n nods, "again, not the first time he acts like that."
"God.. I'm sorry.." the brunette says softly, picking up the guitar.
"Not your fault. Only his." She sighs, "I'm kinda glad your mentor was here, he was the only one to help."
" yeah, glad..."
"Is everything okay?" Y/n worries.
"Yeah, it's just weird seeing him here." Lucy Gray dismisses the question easily, "let's go home, c'mon"
"Okay.." Y/n isn't convinced, but decides to let it go for now, "c'mon ladies and gentlemen, let's get home."
"Wanna go practice some songs on the meadow, tomorrow?" Lucy Gray asks as they walk back home.
"I missed it so much, so of course!" Y/n cheerfully replies, earning a just as excited laugh from her friend.
--------------
Lucy Gray and Y/n played all afternoon in the meadow, like old times. It wasn't that long Lucy Gray stayed in the Capitol, but not knowing if she were to come back at all made it feel so much longer.
"I think this part should be a little slower, what do you think?" Y/n would ask after a while of playing 'The Hanging Tree'.
"This last part of the verse, you mean?" Lucy Gray checks, looking at the music sheets.
"Yeah, I think..."
Their heads snap behind them when they hear footsteps nearing.
"Sorry... we..." the same blonde man from the night before speaks, along a dark haired man, "they say we would find you out here."
"You're here... with that uniform.." Lucy Gray nervously chuckles.
"I thought they killed you." He simply says.
"Killed?" Y/n can't help the question.
"He... uhm.." his friend starts.
"I broke the rule to save her life." He answers, faking humbleness.
"The dean... Highbottom, got me on a train and gave me some money. He said you were sent to 8." Lucy Gray is quite confused.
"Change of plans." He would smile, "I'm Coriolanus Snow, by the way." He moves closer extending his hand for Y/n to take.
"She's Y/n, my best friend I told you about." Lucy Gray introduces her.
"Hi.." she shyly greets, taking his hand. She can't help the surprised "Oh..." When he, instead of shaking her hand, kisses the back of it.
"Nice to properly meet you, she talked a lot about you." Coriolanus charmingly smiles, "this is my friend, Sejanus."
"Nice to meet you," Lucy Gray shakes his hand with a bright smile.
"Nice to meet... you... too." Sejanus greets back with a sweet and kind smile.
They look at each other for a moment, just smiling. Y/n never saw he friend smiling like this with someone, she is so focused on her friend that she didn't notice Coriolanus still holding her hand, still looking at her.
"Oh sorry." Y/n finally takes notice of his hand and takes her own back, missing the pout forming on Coriolanus' face.
"All good." He whispers, "we quite enjoy the show yesterday."
"Oh.. yeah, yeah, yeah, it was great... until that guy came in." Sejanus agrees, nervously looking at Lucy Gray.
"Yeah, Billy Taupe can't accept the fact that we manage without him." She replies, smugly.
"Well, he's lucky you got back" Y/n mutters, "thanks, by the way, for getting him off and... also, of course, for saving Lucy Gray." She looks up at Coriolanus.
"A pleasure, really. There's no need to thank me." He replies, hitching to hold her hand again, to hold her to him and never let go, "anything for you."
At that Y/n takes a small step back, feeling a little nervous under his stare.
"We're going to the lake, tomorrow. Do you guys want to join?" Lucy Gray suddenly asks, surprising her best friend.
"Really?" Sejanus checks in, looking at the girls, "we'd like to."
"Of course, a way of thanking you." She assures him, "we usually go and have a sort of picnic."
"We'll look forward to it." Coriolanus too agrees.
"Yeah, it would be nice." Y/n wraps her arms around herself, to shield herself from his eyes.
"She makes an amazing apple cobbler too, the young ones loves it." The brunette praise her best friend, locking their arms together.
"You cook too?" Coriolanus is surprised, pleased, "you didn't tell me."
"She can do a lot of things, a real walking talent." Lucy Gray smiles proudly at her friend, nudging her side. Y/n's cheeks warm up at the compliments, turning her head to look away from them all.
"Always so shy, aren't you?" Coriolanus softly comments.
"She's never been the best with compliments." Lucy Gray softly chuckles, squeezing her friend's arm, "but she deserves them all."
"I'm sure she does." His soft stare makes Y/n shiver, she doesn't know why but she's intimidated by it.
"Uh..." she would start, but her eyes catch something behind the two men, "Maude Ivory." Lucy Gray follows her eyes to the little girl.
"You're friends peacekeepers." She says.
"They must be here for the fight." Y/n guesses, "I'll go handle it."
"I'm coming with you."
"Get the guitar, then." She instructs and Lucy Gray grabs the guitar.
"Hey.. we can't be seen with you, though." Coriolanus quietly tells them.
"That lake is in the woods, no one knows much about it but us, don't worry." Lucy Gray reassures him.
"That's comforting." Sejanus smiles grateful at her and she returns it.
"See you tomorrow then." Coriolanus says looking at Y/n who simply evades his stare, she politely smiles, but that doesn't stop Coriolanus from dreaming about her that night. How right their hands felt together, how beautiful she is so close... he can't wait for the next day.
He feels somehow grateful for Sejanus presence, he's sure Lucy Gray invited them both because she's interested in him. He remembers the little glances she would send his classmate at the Capitol. He will use it to his advantage, he knows how much Sejanus would love to help him get the girl of his dreams, he just needs a little push.
--------------
Y/n is making a new dough for the next day, while they're at the lake it will have time to raise. She's mostly making it to get her mind busy, to sort of preparing herself for the day at the lake with the two peacekeepers.
"Are you okay?" Lucy Gray cautiously asks, walking next to her.
"Whatever do you mean?" Y/n asks back, not glancing once at her friend.
"Mh... you're using that tone, for one." Lucy Gray nudges her, "and... you're kneading that dough as if you're chocking it. I'm pretty sure it's dead."
Y/n doesn't answer right away, she keeps kneading the dough, when she puts it in a bowl she turns to her friend.
"I'm okay." She finally says.
"Something bothering you." The singer gently takes her hand, guiding Y/n to sit with her at the table.
"Are the others sleeping?" Y/n asks, wiping her hands on a towel.
"Yeah, now tell me what's wrong." She softly urges her, "is it about tomorrow? Are you nervous or something?"
"I guess..."
"Why?" Lucy Gray asks, "do you fancy my mentor?" She tries to joke and teases her.
"No." She quickly answers, "no, really, I... it's like there's something off about him... I don't know, maybe it's just me."
Y/n lets out a heavy sigh and looks at Lucy Gray, who looks conflicted herself.
"I... uhm.." she starts, uncertain.
"What..?"
"I felt the same way when I met him... he would ask so many question about you, our life here you know, I could see he wanted to know more and more about you." She explains.
"Me? Why?" Y/n gets even more nervous.
"I think he saw you at the reaping ceremony, when you sang and... I don't know, you caught his attention."
"Oh..."
"We can cancel... or you can stay in, I don't want you to feel forced to go because I didn't think." Lucy Gray takes her hands again, reassuringly.
"No, it's okay... I mean maybe we're just looking too much into it..." Y/n shakes her head, "I kind of want to see if you and the other one move to the next step."
"You noticed.." she blushes slightly.
"You two where smiling at each other like crazy." Y/n smiles sweetly at her friend.
"He's sweet, I saw how he wanted to help the tributes during the games... but please, we don't have to go if you're uncomfortable." She checks.
"I'm fine, I promise." Y/n kisses her hands to assure her, "maybe it's just a misunderstanding. It'll be fine."
"Oh now you're comforting me?" Lucy Gray teases.
"Obviously." She smiles proudly, "how about you... how are you coping with... with the games?"
Lucy Gray's smile drops slightly, looking down at their hands, squeezing them a little tighter, scared she would be taken away again.
"I'm okay... sometimes I feel like I'm still there." Her eyes fill with tears at the memories, "I killed people, Y/n... I..."
"You can't just shake it off, right?" Y/n guesses and Lucy Gray nods without saying a word, "I won't say that I'll understand, I will try sure, I can't promise I will be able to of course, but... I'm with you, Lucy Gray, you're not alone, I won't let you deal with it alone."
Lucy Gray stands, and so does Y/n, she brings her into a warm hug. They hold each other like never before, they hugged in the past sure, but nothing like this. This hug is filled with comfort and safety, something they both need, they don't even want it to end in fear one of them could be taken away again.
"We should get some sleep." Y/n states with a chuckle, but doesn't break the hug.
"Yeah." Lucy Gray laughs, "I think we should." They pull apart, "Sorry, I really needed that."
"So did I."
With that little comfort from each other they can finally go to bed and get some sleep. Even though, Y/n can't really fall asleep so quickly, her mind constantly going to Coriolanus Snow and his eyes, his stare on her. Could it be possible that they're just imagining it or it's true?
She close her eyes for a second and the moment she opens them the first light of day greets her, making her groan.
"Fuck." She mutters out, uncovering herself and getting seated, not so ready to start the day.
"Morning." Lucy Gray's harsh morning voice greets Y/n in the kitchen as she prepares the basket for the picnic, "Did you get some sleep?"
"I did, do not worry." Y/n replies, "just... uh..."
"What?"
"Don't leave me alone with him, okay?"
Once Lucy Gray nods, Y/n gets back at the basket.
--------------
"This time of the year the water is just perfect." Maude Ivory excitedly jumps towards the lake.
"She loves the lake, if you can't tell." Y/n jokes.
"I wouldn't blame her," Sejanus says, "I'll trust her judgement, then."
"You should!" The little girl tells him, loud.
"Are you sure you don't need help?" Coriolanus offers to carry the basket for the tenth time, "I promise it's no trouble."
"And I promise it's fine, thank you." Y/n, once again, denies his help.
Coriolanus can't help the clenching in his jaw, his girl should never, ever, lift a finger. He'll make sure of it.
"We're almost there, anyway. No worries." She tries to chuckle and assure him.
"She's strong." Lucy Gray chimes in, "she never lets me do any heavy work around the house. It's crazy."
"No, well, that's because you're not the best at them." Y/n teases her.
"That's not true!" Lucy Gray laughs, "I got many talents."
"You do... not for handwork."
Lucy Gray gasps, faking offence, while the rest of the group laugh.
"How long have you been friends for?" Sejanus asks, "if I'm not intruding."
"We're basically sisters," Lucy Gray immediately answers, proudly, "our parents died and we got raised by the same person."
"I arrived after them, but everything fell into places so naturally, it felt like I found my family again." Y/n explains, with a big smile.
"Never left each other's side ever since." Lucy Gray takes her best friend's hand as they finally arrive at destination.
"We're here!" CC exclaims and Maude Ivory rushes to get into the water as soon as possible, making Y/n chuckle.
Coriolanus watches her closely, the way she worries about her family, the way she smiles, laughs and shines when she looks at the young ones. The more time he's in her presence, the more he falls in love with her, his desire to make her his growing each moment. His girl, his wife and, one day soon, his first Lady.
--------------
A day at the lake with her family is something Y/n always treasured, and will always treasure. She usually takes a few minutes to herself to enjoy the water, just floating with her eyes closed, she loves how free the stream lets her be.
The Covey always lets her live her peace... at least until it's time to eat, in that moment they would splash her until she gets to shore, earning, everytime, a glare from the poor girl.
And today should be no different, Y/n and Lucy Gray agreed not to make the others suspect their new friend makes them feel a little uneasy. So as Y/n floats on her own, Lucy Gray will try and keep an eye out to let her alone with her former mentor.
"What's she doing?" Coriolanus asks.
"Oh she likes to feel the water on her own." Lucy Gray explains, while Sejanus play with Maude Ivory, "to enjoy the moment."
"Wouldn't she be carried away by the stream?" He wonders.
"Nah, it's like the water knows where she should be."
"That's beautiful, Lucy Gray." Sejanus comments.
"Not my words." She is quick to specify, "hers."
Coriolanus spent the rest of the bath watching her, purposely ignoring his former tribute's stare. She probably wants to protect her friend, he thinks, but he's the only one who can protect her. And that he will.
"I'm starving!" Maude Ivory exclaims getting out the water towards the picnic blanket, "c'mon!"
Almost in an instant the rest of the Covey follows, apart from Lucy Gray who stays with Sejanus and Coriolanus, and Y/n floating not far.
Coriolanus shots his friend a look to tell him to get Lucy Gray away so he could have some time alone with his girl.
"I..." Sejanus stutters out, "I... I brought something. I know you two cooked for us too, so I wanted to bring something as a thanks... for the invite."
"Aaww but that's very sweet of you. You didn't need to." Lucy Gray almost melts at his words.
"I can show you. I mean they're preparing to eat so might as well help them." Sejanus suggests.
"Oh... uh... I mean..." she is hesitant, looking briefly at Coriolanus and at her friend.
"Coriolanus is here to look out for her, don't worry." Sejanus reassures her, but he doesn't know that his friend is the reason she needs to keep an eye out for Y/n.
Unfortunately, she knows she can't refuse, not without raising questions from her family nor suspects from the two peacekeepers.
"Yeah... Okay." She finally says, "but I mean, you don't have to, she's always does that. You can come with us."
"I don't mind." He's quick to reply, "I too enjoy the waters myself."
"See? No troubles at all." Sejanus smiles at her.
"We will call you soon, anyway." Lucy Gray tells him, she means it as a warning, even though Coriolanus doesn't register it that way.
"We'll be here." He smiles charmingly as always as he looks at the two climbing on the wooden deck and towards the Covey. She still watches over her friend.
As Coriolanus finally can enjoy the view he can notice her floating gently towards him.
'The water knows where she should be' Lucy Gray said, and the water is bringing her to him.
Y/n felt something touching her hand slightly, startling her.
"Oh sorry." She starts to apologise, but freezes when she sees Coriolanus in front of her.
"No need to apologise." He softly says.
"Where's everyone?" She asks.
"Preparing for the picnic." He tells her, secretly enjoy how her eyes don't meet his.
"Oh... I guess.. uh... I guess we should join them, then." She nervously chuckles, wanting more and more to not be alone with the Peacekeeper.
"Did you enjoy the water?" He asks, ignoring her suggestion.
"I... I did." She answers, "I love days like this."
With each word she slowly swims to the deck.
"I've never done this, you know." He says swimming closer.
"You don't have lakes at the Capitol?" She chuckles, again to hid her nerves.
"There's no room for nature." He simply says.
"Oh... that's... sad." She comments, feeling genuinely sad about that, "hope you're having a good day then, Mr Snow."
"Please, Coriolanus is more than fine, or Coryo... if you like." He tells her with a charming smile, internally begging her to say his name.
"Well, I hope you're having a good day, then, C-Coryo." She forces herself to smile, slightly letting out a sigh of relief when she realises she got to the wooden deck.
"The best in a long time." He catch up with her, ready to chivalrously help her climb up.
Y/n tries to be as quick as she can, but in doing so her foot slipped and she falls back into the water... in Coriolanus' arms.
"Shit..." she curses under her breath.
"You okay?" Coriolanus immediately asks, concerned.
"Yeah, yeah, sorry, I... I slipped." She tries to subtly wiggle out of his arms. While what Coriolanus wants more is to hold her even closer. "We should... uhm... get to the picnic or.. or they w-will eat everything."
"Yeah..." Coriolanus eyes constantly switch from her eyes to her lips, "probably."
He doesn't move an inch though, his eyes keeping the same route, but moving his face closer to hers.
Y/n is cornered, she wants to freak out, but he's still a Peacekeeper, who knows what he could do if she rejected him badly.
"Uhm..." she tries to come up with something to say to get out of the situation.
He's living his dream, in the meantime, he's so close to kissing his girl for the first time he wants to enjoy every second of it. His hands find their way to her waist, caressing it.
Y/n shakes, she wants to run, hit him and run away. Coriolanus interprets the shaking as shyness, he's sure she feels the same, he thinks her shaking is only in anticipation of the kiss.
So he leans closer... and closer...
"Guys!" Lucy Gray's voice saves her, "it's all set!"
"We're coming!" Y/n shouts back immediately, turning away from Coriolanus as she feels his grasp tightening slightly.
Y/n manages to climb back up and misses the frustrated clenching in Coriolanus' jaw.
--------------
They sit on the blankets they brought as they eat, Y/n managed to take a seat in between CC and Maude Ivory, away from the peacekeeper. Lucy Gray, on the other hand, sits next to Sejanus which earned a teasing smile from her friend, Coriolanus sits next to him as they everyone eats.
"You weren't lying, this is amazing." Sejanus exclaims, mouth full of Y/n's dessert.
"You're being too kind now." Y/n can only shy away from the compliment.
"Told you, she's always underestimate herself." Lucy Gray low-kye scold her friend.
"True!" CC agrees, earning a glare from Y/n.
"It really is amazing." Coriolanus chimes in, "where did you learn?"
"Oh... well, when you have to feed all these mouths, that's what you have to do." Y/n explains, "and there were times where one didn't want to eat, when they were younger and didn't fully understand the situation, so I tried my best in making something tasty with what we had."
"Well, I didn't learn." Lucy Gray tries to highlight her friend's talent.
"That's because you were earning money with your guitar and performances." Y/n replies.
"Even that, not without your help." The singer insists.
"Mine?" Y/n laughs, "what help? You're the one singing beautifully everyday."
Coriolanus assist this playful banter and can't help the jealousy raising in him. He wants Y/n to joke with him like that, not with Lucy Gray. He wants to make her blush with compliments, not Sejanus.
"But you write the songs!" Lucy Gray exclaims, with a big smile.
"Not all of them!" Y/n laughs.
"The most beautiful ones, yes." Lucy Gray shots back.
"Oh shut up!" Y/n throws her friend a piece of bread.
"Did we hear any of these songs?" Coriolanus asks, curious.
"I think so," Lucy Gray answers, "plus the one I sang in the arena it's hers."
"Which one?"
"You didn't watch the games?" Sejanus asks.
"No, I did, I did, it's just that the TV we borrowed was a little broken so we couldn't hear anything." CC answers.
"Pity..." Sejanus comments, "she sang beautifully."
"Not a surprise." Y/n smiles, "so, what song was it?"
"The old Therebefore." Lucy Gray tells her, "you know it always gives me strength."
"That was yours?" Coriolanus asks, positively surprised.
"Uh.. yeah, though, I simply rearranged an old melody." Y/n explains, shaking her head dismissively.
"Told you, walking talent." Lucy Gray grins and Y/n throws another piece of bread at her.
Coriolanus is amazed, she will be a perfect first Lady, the people of Panem will love her. He's more and more realising what a perfect choice she will be.
Y/n rolls her eyes, giving up, earning a triumphant smile from Lucy Gray.
"It made all people in the auditorium cry." Coriolanus tells them, "a real moving moment."
"At least I would've gotten one last good performance before my demise." Lucy Gray says dramatically.
"Don't say that." Y/n immediately stops her, "you're here. That's all that matters."
They reach out at the same time to hold each other's hand, Sejanus looks at them with sweet eyes, Coriolanus only feels jealousy, eyes shooting daggers at Lucy Gray.
Unfortunately the things between Sejanus and Lucy Gray have been going strong. She is so in love, Y/n's never seen her so taken by someone like she is by Sejanus. The down side of her happiness is that the peacekeeper always brings his friend around. Coriolanus, in fact, insisted and convinced Sejanus to bring him everytime he visited Lucy Gray, and Sejanus, being the good friend he is, he was glad to help his best friend. They even managed to leave Coriolanus and Y/n alone, Lucy Gray too distracted by Sejanus to notice the deception. Y/n doesn't want her to notice anyway, she's happy her friend found someone she actually like, so she's going to endure a little longer for her, Lucy Gray deserves some happiness after all the horrors she saw.
That's why Y/n's now cooking in their kitchen, with Coriolanus watching her like a hawk.
"What are you making exactly?" He asks from his spot by the small table.
"It's... a apple c-cobbler." Y/n softly answers. He would listen to her soft voice all day if he could, saying his name, begging him.
"Do you need any help?" He offers, "you know I don't mind."
She hears him standing up and walking closer to her.
"It's okay, you don't ha-" she stops mid-sentence, Coriolanus' hands softly caressing her hips froze her.
"I don't mind." He whispers into her ear, thumb striking the clothed spot.
"No... uh... i-it's o-okay... uh..." she stutters, looking around for a way to get away.
"Or maybe... " he spins her around so he's looking directly into her eyes, "we can adress... this." He motions between them, getting even closer, bodies now against one another.
"Uh..?" Y/n is confused.
"Us." Coriolanus specifies, "I don't think we can ignore it any longer."
"Uh... I don't... know..." she's at loss for words, "what..?"
"I'm pretty sure, my interest is pretty obvious." He says this almost shyly, bringing a hand up to cup her cheek, "and... I think yours is too."
"My... interest?"She shakes her head, putting her hands on his arms to try and push him off, "Coriolanus..."
"I love it when you use my name, Y/n." Coriolanus says, leaning closer, ignoring how she avoids his eyes and pushes him away.
"Just..."
"Y/n!!"
"Shit.." he mutters under his breath.
"Where are you?" Lucy Gray asks.
"In the kitchen." Y/n answers, relieved Coriolanus stepped back.
"There you are." She enters the kitchen and immediately hugs her friend, Sejanus close behind her.
"Hi." He timidly says, then notices Coriolanus by the table, "hey Coryo, didn't expect to see tou here today."
There's tension between them, Lucy Gray turns her head to look at the blonde and her face drops.
"Is everything okay, Lucy Gray?" Y/n puts a hand on her friend's shoulder, reassuringly.
"Yeah, of course." She shakes her head and smiles brightly again, "what are you making?" She changes subject.
"Uh... apple cobbler." Y/n says softly.
"Mmmhh can't wait." She hums.
There's something off about this situation, since last night's performance at the Hob all three of them have been behaving weirdly. Lucy Gray was singing and after the song she went after Sejanus and Coriolanus, she was goon for some time and when she got back something in her eyes was off. She tried to wave it off, but Y/n knew her friend and she was sure something happened. Why Lucy Gray didn't want to talk to her only added to her worries.
Unfortunately the worst was yet to come.
--------------
"What do you mean you have to leave?" Y/n asks, getting more and more agitated.
"Mayfair and Billy Taupe are dead, who do you think will be blamed?" Lucy Gray snaps back as she keeps packing a small bag.
"But you didn't! How could they prove otherwise?" Y/n insists, breathing heavily.
"The mayor will surely find a way." Her friend days bitterly, then turn to look at her in the eyes, "listen, I'll be fine. This is the only way."
"How will you go, uh?" Y/n challenges, "alone in the woods."
"I... Coriolanus said he would help." Lucy Gray answers, emotionless.
"Coriolanus?!" Y/n whisper-shouts, "do you trust him?"
"I don't have much of a choice. I told you what happened, he's involved too. That has to do." The brunette sighs deeply, "you all can join me in time. I wish you could come too now, but-"
"It will draw too much attention and we would be too easy to find." Y/n finishes her sentence, "I know... but Snow?"
"I told you, he's involved too... he's the only option. Plus... I don't have anything to keep me here anymore.."
Y/n sighs, giving up, she knows Lucy Gray is still grieving Sejanus. She walks to her friend, stopping her to hug her. Lucy Gray returns the hug immediately, crying on her friend's shoulder. Y/n, then, holds her tighter, stroking her back reassuringly.
"We'll be okay. And we will join you soon." Y/n whispers. "I promise."
--------------
It's been almost a year since Lucy Gray ran away, a year since Y/n saw her friend. She hopes Lucy Gray is fine, moat importantly she hopes her friend is alive. It was hard to explain the situation to the rest of the Covey, especially the youngest one, but she managed.
A good thing about this situation is that it's also been a year since Coriolanus Snow has been seen in district 12. Rumours has it he got back to the Capitol, Y/n wishes, whatever is the truth, that he stays as far away as possible. One of their last interactions scared her so much she hardly left the house in fear of simply seeing him.
Y/n is walking back home with her basket in hand, she sold all the jewellery and cakes she made to earn some money so she was quite content as she enters the house.
"Is anyone home?" Y/n yells as she puts down the basket and takes off her patched-up coat.
"In here." A voice calls from the kitchen and Y/n is quick to walk there, freezing on the spot when the figure of Coriolanus Snow stands in her kitchen. His hair grew in this time apparently, the new haircut makes him look even more dangerous, "Hi, my love."
"Uh..." Y/n doesn't know what to do, having him in the house after all this time feels worse than a robe around her neck, "what... what are you doing here?"
"You don't seem happy." Coriolanus states, confused.
He spent a year thinking about Y/n, working hard and constantly so he could come back to 12 and take her to the Capitol. He's been thinking about her, analysing each of their interactions to the bone. And he realised something: Y/n is yet to realise the love they're destined to share, but Coriolanus is more than willing to help.
"I... I'm confused... why... why are you here? Is Lucy Gray-"
"I don't want to talk about Lucy Gray!" He snaps.
Y/n flinches and takes a step back, he sighs deeply and pass a hand through his hair.
"I'm... I'm sorry..." she apologises, not wanting to anger him more, "you... uh... you let your hair grow..."
That seems to please him, he slightly smiles, pride growing in him.
"Yeah," he walks closer to her, "I wanted to leave the Peacekeeper behind, to welcome the future president of Panem."
"Future president..." she gasps out, slowly retreating backwards, "wow.."
"You're even more beautiful than I remembered." He brushes a strand of hair behind her ear, "I missed you."
"Why are you here?" She asks, pushing his hand away.
"I'm here to take you to the Capitol with me." He simply answers, as a matter of fact.
"What?!" She exclaims, pushing him off and putting distance between them.
"You're coming home with me." He states.
"I am home." She firmly says, noticing the clench in his jaw.
"No." He shakes his head, "no, you're not."
"I'm not coming with you." She insists, "I have people to take care of."
"They will be taken care of, if you come with me." He makes sure to emphasise the 'if'.
Y/n now realises no one else's home.
"If? Coriolanus, listen-"
"No, you listen." He interrupts her once again, "there's no thinking to do here. You're coming with me, period. You come with me and your family will be cared for, if you don't... there would be consequences."
"Is that a threat?" She shakes in fear now.
"It's a promise, my love." He gets closer again, putting a hand on her cheek, "so... what do you say now?"
"You already decided... what's the point of asking, then?" She's tearing up, too scared to move.
"Say you'll come with me." He leans closer, brushing his lips against hers, "say it."
She shakes her head, lips sealed.
But Coriolanus doesn't waste any more time, he kisses her, she backs away but he chases her until her back hits the wall forcing their lips together once again.
He kisses her, but she doesn't kiss him back, the hand on her cheek moves to her neck squeezing, as a warning. She tries to push him off, but he is stronger than her, his other hand moves to her hips pulling her closer and she starts to actually struggle.
"S-stop." She manages to stutter out.
"Give into me, my love." He mutters against her skin, kissing down her neck, "come with me, you'll want for nothing more in your life."
"No..." she weakly says, as she keeps pushing him off.
"Yes." He kisses her again, completely leaning his body against her, caging her.
"Please don't... Please." Her crying only turns him on more, he thrusts his hips against her making her feel his hard-on.
Y/n stops her movement, dread in her veins prevents her from doing anything.
"Sshh, let me take care of you." He whispers into her ear, "let me show you how good I can make you feel."
"Please... no..." her breathing gets heavier and heavier as she looks at him kneeling in front of her, "Don't."
She looks at the door, wanting to flee and leave him behind.
"Don't you dare." Coriolanus orders, looking up at her, "you try to run and I'll make sure your family pays. Am I clear, my love?"
Y/n averts her eyes from the door, to the former peacekeeper kneeling in front of her.
The hunger in his eyes is enough to make her feel like a prey being caught.
He keeps looking at her as he lifts her dress up her legs, and when he pulls her underwear down he finally break the eye contact to take a proper look at his prize.
He licks his lips and gets closer to her core, inhaling her scent.
"Stop... please Coriolanus, stop." She tries again, but her plead falls to deaf ears.
Coriolanus at hearing his name coming from her he dives himself between her legs, licking and sucking all he could, finally enjoy whatever he's been dreaming about all this time... since that reaping ceremony.
Y/n gasps when he attacks her pussy with his mouth like a starved man, she looks around hoping to find something to use as a weapon or a way to escape this. She puts her hand on his head in an attempt to push him off, but it's no use, his hold is way too tight and strong for her to pull away.
"Mmhhh" he humms against her, her taste inebriates him completely.
"Shit.." she groans, her body betraying her, getting closer and closer, "shit."
Hearing this Coriolanus only doubles his efforts, he blindly grabs one of her hands and moves it to rest on his cheek.
"Mmhhh yes." He humms again, licking harder on her clit.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" She tries to hold back, but it's like she has no control over her body anymore as she comes on his mouth. Her legs weakening and falling to the ground, right in front Coriolanus, face to face.
"I love you." He whispers, catching her off guard by kissing her deeply and forcefully.
She puts her hands against him, never stopping her attempts.
"Stop, stop." She mutters.
"This is just a taste of how I'm going to take care of you." He explains breathlessly, "I'm never letting you go, my love."
They stay still for a moment, Y/n too scared to move and Coriolanus is simply enjoying the moment.
He finally got his girl, but he's always being certain of it, after all it's in his family.
Snow lands on top.
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Note
Your Declan fic was SO good. That’s how u discovered your account and I can’t wait for the other Rivals fics you have coming up!!!
If you are still taking requests, I would die for protective Declan O’Hara in any situation. Love your stuff!!
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man of the hour.
the sexiest thing about a man is his moustache morals.
declan o’hara x female reader
warnings - cursing. a little violence and a quick injury description.
word count - 2k
authors note - I truly believe that one of the sexiest things about declan is the fact that he stands up for what he believes in… don’t underestimate the aphrodisiac powers of strong morals, ladies and gents. need him to stand up for me sometime🧎‍♀️‍➡️. anyway this ended up much softer than I meant it to be (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing) <3
masterlist. inbox.
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“Can I get you another drink?”
You laugh as the man swings an arm around your shoulders, the heavy weight of it almost taking you down.
“You’ve asked me that four times in the last five minutes, Bas. Thank you, though.”
“Just want to make sure you’re having a good time.”
He’s yelling into your ear, both of you fighting to raise your voices above the noise of Bar Sinister.
“I’m always having a good time with you,” you tease, leaning into his side. “I’m alright, Bas. Promise.”
“You need to let loose for once in your life.”
“I’ll let loose on a day I’m not working.”
“You’re always working.”
“What can I say? He’s hard fucking work.”
You both look over to your boss, who’s currently animatedly telling Declan a story. Rupert’s gesturing so exaggeratedly that people are ducking out of the way, both men laughing and completely oblivious as beer and whiskey splash all over the floor.
Bas presses a kiss into your hair, squeezing you tightly.
“I don’t know what he’d do without you.”
“Well, he never has to find out. We’re stuck with each other,” you chuckle. “Best job I’ve ever had, surprisingly.”
“I won’t tell him you said that,” Bas winks, laughing.
The sound of multiple glasses smashing has the both of you whipping your heads around, trying to find the source of the commotion.
“Shit. I’ll see you later, darling. Come and find me if you need anything, yeah?”
“Course.”
Bas disappears into the bustling crowd, leaving you standing at the bar. It’s absolutely manic, people packed in to the rafters and bumping into each other left, right and centre.
You’re about to make your way over to Rupert when a hand wraps around your wrist, pulling you backwards so hard that you stumble over your own feet. You tug your arm away, finally getting a good look at the person who’s responsible.
“Spencer?”
“Oh, so you do remember me then?”
“… What? We were together for six months, and I don’t have short term memory loss, so… yes.”
“I just meant because you’re hanging around with the elite now. The rumour is that you’re working for Rupert Campbell Black.”
“I am working for Rupert Campbell Black. It’s not a secret, Spencer. I’m his aide and assistant. I’m working for Venturer, too, helping with their public relations. And you are… what? Still pretending to work for your father when you really just spend your days drinking and betting?”
“I do work for my father.”
“Of course you do.”
He steps forward, getting into your personal space.
“What are you doing in here, Spencer? You don’t even live in Rutshire.”
“Thought I’d pop in, see if you were here. Wanted to see if there was any truth to the rumours.”
“Well, you’ve put the rumours to bed now, haven’t you?”
“Not the only thing that’s been put to bed,” he murmurs, just low enough so you only catch half of it.
“Pardon me?”
Your entire body is taut with tension, nerves alert and heart racing. You can only imagine how uncomfortable you must look, praying that someone notices sooner rather than later.
“Which one are you sleeping with, then?”
“Spencer-”
“No, come on. You finished things with me, so there must be another man. Who is it?”
“I’m finished things with you - eight months ago, mind you - because you’re an immature prick who’s so pretentious it makes you deeply unlikeable. There was no other man, I’d just rather be single than be with you.”
His chest puffs out as he starts to go red with rage, anger bubbling up in his veins. You know that you’re not completely unsafe here in this room full of people, but that doesn’t calm your anxiety in the slightest.
“Which one is it, hmm?” his voice is raising, getting louder with every passing minute. “Which one looks like your type?”
He points at Seb first, quirking an eyebrow.
“Him?”
When you don’t respond, he moves on to pointing at Patrick.
“Him?”
You shake your head almost imperceptibly, wishing that the ground would swallow you up.
“Oh my god… it’s him, isn’t it?”
His eyes have landed on Rupert, who’s still stood across the room. Your boss is looking at you, now, quickly assessing the situation you’re in.
“You’re fucking Rupert Campbell Black?!”
The entire crowd of people goes silent as he practically screams it, everyone’s heads turning to look at you.
“She’s… what?” Rupert, Declan and Bas all ask at the exact same time, hilariously in sync.
“Fucked your way up to the top, did you? Classy as always.”
Spencer goes to continue his sentence, but hits the floor suddenly with a heavy thud. You look up to see Declan shaking off his hand, chest heaving with adrenaline. Your ex boyfriend has a busted lip, blood dripping down his chin and onto his awfully unflattering shirt.
“It’s called hard work, you arrogant little prick. Not that you’d know.”
Declan’s Irish accent sounds stronger than usual, coloured with fury and aggression. Bas has dragged Spencer to his feet, both him and Rupert holding him upright.
“If I ever catch you anywhere near here again, I’ll do more than just split your fucking lip. You understand?”
Spencer nods, clearly still dizzy from the impact of the punch. He’s dragged outside before anyone can say anything else, the crowd returning back to their drinks as if nothing ever happened.
“Come on, sweetheart.”
Declan links his fingers with yours before you can register what’s happening, pulling you through the bar and out of the back door. You take a seat on the brick wall, legs dangling over the edge as you kick your feet.
“You okay?” he asks as he sits down next to you, just close enough that you can feel his body heat.
“I’m fine.”
“Sure?”
“I’m sure.”
You don’t really know how to feel, confused by the whole ordeal.
“He seems like a nice boy.”
You laugh suddenly at the bad joke, shaking your head as Declan laughs with you. It’s not a sound you hear from him all that often.
“Sorry you had to punch him.”
“I didn’t have to. Kinda wanted to, though.”
“Me too.”
He bumps his shoulder into yours, looking at you carefully.
“I didn’t just hit him for a laugh, you know. I was worried he was going to hurt ya.”
“I was too,” you whisper, vulnerability bleeding into your tone.
“I’d never of let that happen. I promise, sweetheart.”
His hand finds yours again, fingers gently sliding in between yours. He rests your intertwined hands on his thigh, thumb rubbing patterns on your skin.
“Thank you.”
“Of course.”
You sit in silence for a long moment, enjoying the way the warmth of his palm seeps slowly into yours.
“I didn’t think anyone had even noticed Spencer was there.”
“I saw as soon as he walked in, because I knew I didn’t recognise him. I tried to give you some space, thought maybe you were friends or something. Didn’t want to intervene and embarrass ya.”
“Ex boyfriend, if you haven’t already guessed. We were only together about six months all in all, about eight months ago. Don’t know what I was thinking, really. He’s fucking awful.”
“You can say that again,” he chuckles, hand squeezing yours. “Not sure what you ever saw in him.”
“Neither am I, anymore. I don’t know, maybe I just liked having someone really like me, as sad as that sounds. Dating is fun and exciting and… well, it’s supposed to be. God knows it isn’t, for me.”
Declan slides his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side to keep the evening chill at bay. You can hear the ruckus from inside, everyone in the bar carrying on as usual.
“I think you just keep choosing the wrong men, darlin’. Don’t swear off dating just because of a few bad apples.”
“I mean, I haven’t dated anyone since Spencer, and that finished eight months ago. I’d rather stay single than date any more of these posh boys who’ve never worked a day in their lives.”
He laughs, and the vibrations of it rumble through the both of you, settling into your bones. All you can think about is how warm he is and how good he smells and how if you leaned in an inch to your left, you could kiss him right on the cheek.
“What if it’s me?” you can’t help but ask quietly. “What if I’m the reason I can’t find someone?”
“What?”
“I mean, I work for Rupert - which I love - but my job is my life now. He’s a handful as it is, and now with all the Venturer stuff… all I do is work. And I know I’m not pretty like Taggie or powerful and bossy like Cameron but-”
“You’re beautiful.”
Declan stops you in your tracks, his interruption derailing your train of thought completely.
“I- what?”
“Sweetheart, the only reason I noticed that prat Spencer earlier was because I was already looking at you.”
“You were?”
“I always am.”
“… Why?”
“I don’t know, exactly. It’s like this… gravitational pull. You light up a room.”
“That’s a bit dramatic,” you chuckle nervously.
“I wish it was.”
You don’t know what to say, so you lean further into his side, resting your head on his broad shoulder and breathing him in.
“I would have said something sooner,” he murmurs, “but Rupert would fucking kill me.”
“He’s not my keeper, Declan.”
“No, but he’s your boss. And for all intents and purposes, your big brother.”
He rests his head atop of yours, pressing a kiss into your hair.
“How’s your hand?”
“Perfectly fine,” he laughs, squeezing your thigh. “I’ll make a full recovery.”
“Thank God for that.”
Declan turns his body so he can look at you properly, big hands coming up to cradle your face. Neither of you say anything, waiting with tense anticipation for the other person to move first.
You surprise yourself by leaning in and planting a kiss on his lips, chaste and testing the waters. You begin to overthink everything the minute you pull back, worried that you’ve misread his kindness. As if he can read your mind, he tangles a hand into your hair and tugs you back into him, kissing you with a passion you’ve never experienced before.
His tongue slips into your mouth cheekily as you let him take the lead, happy to surrender the control to him. You’ve dreamt about this, late nights in bed spent wondering if the real thing would live up to your imagination. It definitely does.
Eventually, you both pull away, panting and flushed. You can no longer feel the chill in the air, the warmth of Declan keeping the cold at bay.
“Don’t tell Rupert,” he whispers, dirty smirk written across his face.
You can’t help but laugh, giddy off of the weight of the moment. Before tonight, you’d begun to accept that you might have been slightly delusional when it came to Declan - reading into his fingers brushing yours when you handed him something, him winking at you across the room, his palm pressing into your back as he walked past. Now you know - it wasn’t delusion. They were signals.
“Wouldn’t dream of it. Secret’s safe with me.”
He pecks your lips again quickly before standing up, outstretching his hands for you to grab so he can pull you with him.
“You wanna go back inside?”
“No, think I’m done for the night.”
“Will you let me walk you home?”
You look at him smiling down at you all soft and sweet, and realise instantly that you’re in trouble. This isn’t something either of you are going to be able to just brush past. This’ll be haunting both of your memories every single day until it happens again.
“I’d like that.”
“Come on then, sweetheart. Lead the way.”
Declan links his fingers with yours, happy to let you steer him in the right direction. Neither of you say much. You don’t need to.
The way his palm fits perfectly against yours tells you both everything you need to know.
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@lostinthefandoms11 @prettycoolgirl @buzzcutlip
don’t make me give the reblogs are invaluable to your writers speech again… i’ve given it one too many times… but you know the deal… reblog if you enjoyed and I shall write more for you <3
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thebibliosphere · 6 months ago
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Wait, is Jason in Gotham Knights body horror? Because it doesn't feel like his body even tho he's controlling it? (He died, he came back, it's not the same and never will be)
Or is it more analogous to puberty and feeling like you don't know anything about your body anymore?
Just having thoughts about that boy again
I think Jason in Gotham Knights is very much connected with his physical body. It's his biggest weapon, possibly more so than his guns, given his lasting connection to the Lazarus Pit and the power it gives him.
His backstory talks about building himself up to peak physical condition into the absolute unit he is now, and you can either see that as someone trying to reconnect with their physical self or someone vowing never to be small or weak again.
I tend to think of it as both. It's a reclamation of his physical form but also a transformation into something bigger and stronger that ensures he's the scariest, meanest-looking mother fucker in the room. Basically someone you can't underestimate as a threat.
(Try not to think too hard about the fact that he now largely resembles Bruce in stature, that he is now the group's heavy hitter, the most menacing and the most likely to strike fear into the heart of his opponents, and that Jason molded himself into the person he needed to be rescued by as a child. Don't do it. Do not. I am normal about this.)
But he obviously struggles with feeling present mentally sometimes.
You'll see him zoning out occasionally, touching the J-shaped scar on his face before violently shaking himself back into the present.
He has panic attacks while playing a dance video game with a coffin in it—a coffin his character becomes trapped in because he's not moving fast enough. (hello, trauma)
He's angry all the time and so relieved when Barbra expresses her own rage at something because, yes, finally, someone else is letting their emotions out instead of bottling it up (Dick).
His emails are littered with orders for self-help books, emails from his therapist moving his sessions around, and concerned messages from his friends (Roy comes to mind) saying if he needs to get out of Gotham, they'll make it happen.
Alfred holding him while he sobs over losing Bruce still breaks me every time. I have to pause the game and walk around my house until I feel normal again.
And then there's the cut scene where Dick asks, "Hey, remember that time we all [insert funny thing here]," and Jason admits, somewhat angrily, that no, he doesn't because Lazarus took entire swaths of memories from him and he hates how he can't connect with people the way he used to and he hates the way they all look at him (the way Dick is looking at him now) when he admits he doesn't remember something they clearly loved about the old him: the version of him who didn't have volatile mood swings or made people flinch when he did something as mundane as handle a kitchen knife -- the undead monster he came back as*.
The fact that Dick then contrives to recreate this memory so Jason can be included in a newer version of it -- while also giving him what is arguably a weapon -- fucks me up every time. Dick just yeets a kitchen knife at him, trusting that Jason will catch it, and then just steamrolls over Jason's rightful 'what the fuck' expression with "Hey, we're making food. Get dicing."
And Jason knows what they're all doing. He's aware of it, and he gets the teeniest, tiniest smile before smothering it out. Except he can't quite. He's still smiling as he chops the vegetables. And yes, they're all hopeless at cooking compared to him, and he knows he's going to end up taking over, but that's okay. Because this is for him. He gets to control it.
And that's how Jason gets to make a new memory, one where he is handed a weapon and gets to turn it into a genuine expression of nurturing and care.
Because he does care about them. He wouldn't conspire with Dick to bake Barbara's favorite childhood cookies if he didn't. He wouldn't try so hard to be gentle with Tim triggering the shit out of him while he's struggling with his grief. He just doesn't always know how to express it because he doesn't always know what he's feeling.
Is his anger valid? Or is this Lazarus Pit Rage? Is he being overly sensitive because of his trauma, or is everyone else underreacting because of their trauma? (Should he sign them all up for therapy, quite probably, yes.)
So, you could perhaps argue that Jason experiences body horror in the sense that he doesn't remember all the pieces of who he used to be. (Speaking as someone with severe memory loss from medical trauma, it's certainly a type of horror.) But I don't think it's because he's detached from it physically or doesn't feel in control of his body. I think it's his mind that worries him.
His body he can control. It's his mind that still sparks green sometimes.
---
*Re the scene with Tim when Tim calls the Talons monsters. "What about me? Do you think I'm a monster?"
No, they don't.
But Jason does. And it scares him shitless.
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filled-with-fat · 2 months ago
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My weight skyrocketed at College 🫢
When I moved away to college at 18, I was an athletic, healthy young man. In high school, I had played on the football team, and had always been into working out and staying fit. But this all changed when I moved away to college.
I was allocated self-catered accommodation, which meant for the first time in my life I had to cook my own meals. At home, my mum would always make me healthy, nutritious foods. But I definitely underestimated how time consuming it is to cook. As the weeks progressed, I got fed up with having to make myself my own meals, and so I would order food. I fell into really bad habits; staying out till sunrise, and then ordering takeout throughout the day. I stopped attending my classes, as I just couldn’t be bothered to walk across campus. Instead I would lay in bed, scrolling through TikTok, awaiting my next McDonald’s delivery. I would order at least 4 takeouts a day.
I quickly became hooked to this lifestyle. Binge drinking on the weekends, and bed rotting during the week, gorging on unhealthy fast food. And with every week that passed, I began to notice my body enlarge. My belly grew outwards, stretch marks appeared across my mid-section, and cheeky layers of fat hung off my sides and back. My hips widened, whilst my thighs and butt started to look revoltingly big.
I had turned into a chubby freshman, and I desperately needed an intervention from my friends to help me loose weight. I asked my college roommate, Daniel, who frequently went to the gym, if I could come with him. But, rather than encouraging me to get more active, Daniel convinced me into thinking laying in bed all day eating pizza was better for my wellbeing/overall happiness. I was easily persuaded into believing that my current eating habits were healthy. And so I continued to order excessive amounts of takeout, and sometimes Daniel would even bring me McDonald’s back from his workout. We would sit on my bed together, and I would devour a BigMac in under 5 minutes.
I rapidly outsized all my clothes, to which Daniel bought me a new sets of T-shirts and pants (in size 4xl of course).
As I grew bigger, I became more self-conscious of my weight and how I appeared in public. I was always a shy guy, and never liked attention. Yet, as I got fatter, my size drew attention, as I would struggle to walk even a few steps, or get out of breath from climbing a flight of stairs. I began to dread leaving my dorm, as I knew I would have to deal with the stares and sneers from everyone on campus. Whereas in my room, I felt like royalty. Daniel would praise my body, he would say how beautiful my curves and rolls of fat were. As I grew bigger, he showed more and more interest in me. He couldn’t keep his hands off me, saying just how much he adored my obese body. And so, I kept eating, as I craved Daniel’s attention and attraction.
By the end of freshman, I had ballooned to over 450lbs. I got so big, that even sitting up, or rolling over in bed, had me wheezing. But I was so attached to this lifestyle, there was no braking free. I kept on gaining weight, with every mouthful of greasy, calorific food I consumed. All to please Daniel. And the bigger I got, the more time he spent with me. He loved feeling my body, placing his lubricated hands over my enormous chest, squeezing my love handles and fat hips. I craved his attention, and so naturally I felt compelled to eat, eat and eat even more.
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sukirichi · 6 months ago
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[ DUSK ‘TILL DAWN : 010 ]
“we who bear the burden of the crown do not need to love. you only need to stay here, with me, in power, in greed, in lust – in victory.”
cw. modern royal au. infidelity. slight angst. reader is beginning to question everything she knew. reader almost drowns. toxic characters. suggestive. toxic relationships. unedited. SHIRTLESS KIYOOMI SHIRTLESS KIYOOMI
notes. the end of kiyoomi arc... mayhaps? also highly recommend listening to the linked song for this chapter and the fanmade playlist linked in the masterlist <3
wc. 8k
series masterlist 
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[ TEN ] you’ll see me in hindsight, tangled up with you all night, burning it down. someday when you leave me, I bet these memories follow you around
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You underestimated Kiyoomi’s enthusiasm.
Blame it on the fact you would’ve never figured the word ‘enthusiasm’ and Kiyoomi could fit in the same sentence, but as always – the Prince was full of surprises. At precisely seven in the morning, he had knocked on your door to wake you up. Not the maid, nor the butler. The Prince himself. He’d asked you to join him for breakfast, boasting that everything was from farm to table – the cheese from the milk of his cows, the meat from his poultry, the scrambled eggs neatly placed around the plate – save for the wine he’d brought all the way from Greenville. ‘Nothing like liquor from your lands,’ he’d commented, and poured you a drink. You stifled a laughter. You hadn’t thought one could have wine for breakfast, but alas, the customs in the Palace were different. Here, you were just you, and Kiyoomi could simply be.
After breakfast, he’d given you a tour of his farmhouse, although calling it ‘house’ was entirely too humble.
Located in the countryside, surrounded by thick greenery and a dense forest with overlooking hills, Kiyoomi’s farmhouse felt like a sanctuary compared to the Palace. He didn’t even need much security, whatnot with the tall trees decorating the driveway to offer privacy. His gardens contained lush greens, and a diverse variety of flowers you hadn’t ever seen before. He knew them all by heart, even their scientific names. You teased him about it, how he was just showing off at this point, because who spews scientific names of flowers when no one asked? He took it with grace, though, or as much grace a flustered Prince could, anyway.
He’d scratched the back of his ear, looking at everywhere but you. “You spend enough time reading books and you can’t help studying everything.”
“I think it’s impressive,” you nudged his shoulder, “I’d certainly boast, too, if I had that knowledge.”
His brows furrowed in confusion. “But maybe not about flowers. No one cares about flowers.”
“I do!”
“Sure,” he snorted, “As long as they’re pretty enough to look at, you’ll like them.”
“I can’t help that I like pretty things.”
“No, you can’t,” his face smoothened, and he snuck a glance at you – all too quickly before straightening up. “I certainly can’t.”
Sometimes, you wondered if Kanami made herself busy on purpose. If maybe, just maybe, she had installed cameras all around the farmhouse and giggled to herself if she could see you and her son interacting. Bent over a bed flowers, with Kiyoomi explaining their origins, and you listening intently. Or Kiyoomi introducing you to his chickens (yes, he’d named them), and then snickering (which you soon learned was his version of a laugh) when you ran away after a mother hen mistook you for a threat. Of course, you didn’t share the same sentiments of humor. The mother hen’s claws were not a laughing matter, but Kiyoomi thought otherwise. He’d simply shaken his head because he wouldn’t let any form of harm come to you, anyway.
You wished that offhanded comment didn’t make you feel so warm inside.
Being here with Kiyoomi was… Well, it was better than anything you’d expected. This was how you wished your honeymoon had been – filled with laughter, sharing in good, lighthearted conversation, and being a part of nature. Spending minutes in silence while you took in your daily dose of sunlight. Being in good company. You were glad you accepted Kanami’s offer, and you only enjoyed yourself more with each passing hour you’d made yourself acquainted with Kiyoomi and his precious farm.
And then there was that nagging voice that told you he wasn’t Rintaro.
You snorted. He definitely wasn’t. If he had been Rintaro, you would probably be in the middle of nowhere, miserable, and crying yourself until you’ve dried up like a prune. No – you didn’t want to think about him right now. It would defeat the entire purpose of this getaway. You wanted to enjoy yourself, and enjoy you did. For now, you gazed upon everything your human eyes could take in – the slope of the hills, the slight swaying of the tree leaves from the fresh breeze, the cows grazing on the grass, and Kiyoomi’s dog, Kael, herding those who went astray. Such a confusing image to paint, that of a Prince wearing his riding boots at the porch of his back garden.
“Wow,” you exhaled, following him into the stables. He’d lent you some boots, too, and was now reigning the straddle parts for the horses. “I underestimated your place. Do you own all of these lands?”
“I do,” he proudly said, and swung open the tiny, white wooden gates to reveal a tall horse with shining black fur. He chuffed upon the sight of Kiyoomi. His tail wagged, his snout reaching over just when Kiyoomi extended his palm to cup his nose. In front of you, a ghost of a smile flittered on his lips. “This is Astra. He’s mine. Had him since he was an infant; Kanami got him for me on my twelfth birthday.”
You couldn’t help but smile too. For all his grumpiness around his Mother’s fretting of him, it was clear the Prince loved her. And it was such a nice thing to see since the other Princes weren’t so lucky when it came to their mothers.
Kiyoomi beckoned you to come forward, and so you did. You were hesitant at first, because Astra was enormous. He stood at least two heads taller than you, with thick, powerful legs that could easily crush you with one kick. But Kiyoomi was there holding him close by his reigns, and you grew more confidence with each step. Smiling at him, you bravely lifted a hand to cup his face.
“Hello, Astra. You are so beautiful.”
Astra chuffed at your compliment, and Kiyoomi let out his barely audible breathy chuckles.
“He’s flattered by the compliment. And that one next to him is Lucy, his girlfriend. She’s great for beginner riders,” he was now fixing Lucy’s reigns as he spoke, adjusting the foothold before leaning over her to glance at you. “Have you ridden one before?”
“Only several times.”
Nodding, you followed as Kiyoomi led the two horses outside the barn. Astra seemed to be over the moon upon being with Lucy without being separated by their gates, chuffing and whinnying repeatedly while bumping noses with her. Lucy was much more reserved, but returned the gesture and even licked him adoringly, which made your chest ache. Gods. Now you were jealous because these horses had a healthier, more loving relationship than you.
Before you could dwell on it, however, a pair of strong arms were already lifting you up. You yelped as you rose mid-air and flailed wildly. The ground below you disappeared, and soon, you were perched on Lucy’s back, while Kiyoomi effortlessly hopped on a much taller Astra. The action seemed so natural to him as if he’d done it multiple times – and dare you say, infuriatingly attractive. The Prince had the top three buttons of his shirt undone because he’d worked a sweat chasing the chickens away from you a while ago, and his curls stuck to his forehead in a way that showcased high-chiseled cheekbones you hadn’t seen before. And… wow. He was breathtaking without realizing it. It felt wrong to think that way, to feel this way, but it was just admiration, was it not? He was a literal Prince Charming, with a dash of awkwardness, and a spritz of unexpected geekiness.
You turned away when his large, calloused, and veiny hands began stroking Astra’s mane. You’d rather not have to think about how those same strong, yet gentle hands lifted you up as if you weighed nothing, and truly, that white shirt of his did little to hide his muscular build. Clearing your throat to rid yourself of those thoughts, you tightened your grip on the reins. “Where to, my Prince?”
“To the edge of the world.”
A smirk was all he gave you before he tapped Astra with his ankles, sending the stallion running off. Your jaw dropped. You hadn’t expected he’d leave you behind, and you refused to be left alone. Mimicking his gestures, you tapped on Lucy and bellowed. She ran and ran, hard enough that your bottom began to feel sore, but that was nothing, absolutely nothing compared to the sensation of the fresh wind whipping at your cheeks, the sun shining down on your skin, and the sounds of hooves hitting the Earth. Your racing heart matched the beat of Lucy’s footsteps as she easily caught up to a carefree Astra. She whinnied, and he responded with one of his own, making the Prince smile when you showed up beside him not a moment later – the smile on your faces proud.
“I knew you could catch up,” he shouted from over the wind, and your smile broadened.
The two of you rode aimlessly for what seemed like hours, even if it was just only minutes. Kiyoomi took you everywhere – in the middle of the forest, where you squealed as the horses ran over puddles and the dirt muddied your boots. But you found yourself unable to care. You were filled with so much glee, with so much life, that you were certain your heart was now pulsing in your arms. It was surreal how much you could see in slow motion despite the speed you were riding at. How your vision had become crystal clear as you took in the tall trees surrounding you, the deers running off and hiding when you’d ran past them. How Kiyoomi always seemed to be a few steps ahead, but always looking back to see if you’d follow him. You did, and you always would, even as he led you deeper into the forest and past the clearing.
Astra slowly skidded to a halt as you took in the scenery in front of you, and you tugged on Lucy, eyes wide open and jaw dropped. A nearly torn down fortress built of stone that was probably piled hand by hand stood before you, vines and moss growing from the walls from old age. It seemed sturdy, yet the holes and cracked towers said otherwise. It must have been centuries since someone last used this place.
“Are those castles?”
“Castle ruins,” he corrected, clicking his tongue as he led Astra to circle around the ruins. “Before Inarizaki split from Itachiyama, the first rulers set their base here.”
“So this was where the original monarchs were.”
It was the typical layout of a castle, with a flatter centre in the middle, and two, tall pillars on its side to serve as its towers. The right tower had already been destroyed, though, leaving a hole in its wake. The large wooden doors from the entrance of the castle had multiple marks on it, as if people had repeatedly tried to beat the doors down with their stakes and weapons. Black marks also decorated the stones, and judging by the empty, darkened patches of soils that was blatantly contrasting with the otherwise growing greenery around the ruins, this Castle must’ve been burnt down at some point.
“Yes, but as you can see, they’re nothing but ruins now. Inarizaki took with them whatever old rules and scriptures they had back in the old days. That’s why we still keep some traditions in our country, although its true origin was from the True Land. The old Itachiyama.”
“Traditions such as last dances on a debut ball?”
“Traditions such as that,” he agreed, rather shyly. His voice had grown distant now that he rode before you, more out of protectiveness as he peeked in the open windows. Once satisfied with what he’d seen, he jumped off Astra and walked to you, absentmindedly placing his large palm on your knee. “We can go see the ruins for ourselves, if you would like.”
Heat spread from where his hand came into contact with your skin – or leggings. Blinking back your nervousness, you reached your hands out to Kiyoomi, letting him gently place you down until you were steady on your feet.
“We are allowed? Wouldn’t that be trespassing?”
“We are royals. Technically, these are the homes of our ancestors,” he stated, and then pursed his lips when you didn’t laugh. “It was a jest. Everyone is free to roam around as they please. As I have said, Itachiyama has less rules.”
You venture inside the castle ruins, fascinated by it all. You kept thinking about what Kiyoomi said – how these were the homes of your ancestors. Once, a long time ago in history, Inarizaki and Itachiyama were united as one, huge territory. Their Kings and Queens lived here and wrote history for themselves. People roamed these hallways once, and it must have been bustling with life. These same stone staircases in which you climbed on were probably littered with torches beside the walls, with their knights guarding each mysterious and hidden door. And gods, the things done behind those doors. Did the Princesses giggle amongst themselves during tea times? Did the Princes like to sharpen their swords and had their choice of horses, as well?
Did the Kings love their Queens?
So many questions unanswered, except Kiyoomi did have answers. He satisfied your unending curiosity by telling you everything you wanted to know – that yes, Kings did love their Queens and former monarchs had many heirs and heiresses. Or how the original Castle only had a right and left wing, but the last King before the country was split in two dedicated a South wing as a burial spot for his wife, the last Queen, who had died in childbirth. He was nicknamed ‘The King of the End’ because his wife’s death led him to a dark path of war, bloodshed, and ultimately, the separation of Inarizaki and Itachiyama. He had become so cruel in his grief that he wielded his power as King wrongly; starving his people, abusing his servants, and neglecting his daughter, who had become the leader of a movement that gave way to Itachiyama becoming an independent territory. Unable to handle anymore of her father’s evil ruling, she’d banished him to Inarizaki, to the northern areas of the country, where her father continued the monarchy.
The story – heartbreaking and dark – caused the mood to dampen. You watched as Kiyoomi stopped inspecting the rooms, probably imagining for himself how this place held a lot of memories, both good and bad. He’d even made a point that he technically wasn’t a half-blood foreigner, since Inarizaki and Itachiyama all originated from one nation.
But he brushed it off, and you wondered if the Prince somehow felt alienated for being the only ‘half-blooded Prince.’ Which you found ridiculous because if that was the logic you followed, then all the Princes except Rintaro would be a half-blood for being illegitimate children. You made no other comments, however, and instead let the Prince reveal things about himself that he could in his own pace. Still, it seemed his mind had gone off a different path the quieter you got, and you nudged his shoulder, a teasing smile on his face.
 “I still can’t believe you attended my debut ball. I was a nobody at the time. To hear of a Prince coming…”
Kiyoomi looked confused.
“You were not a nobody. Your father is the kingdom’s general.”
“Yes, but we like to keep to ourselves, and Inarizaki hasn’t fought wars in decades. It isn’t like my father is an active soldier when he has no battles to partake in.”
“He is still an important figure for the Crown. Not to mention your mother comes from a family of business tycoons,” he reminded, narrowing his eyes at you in what seemed to be ridicule – more out of puzzlement than rudeness. “You truly are unaware of your influence, do you? Your family is one of the three noble families that helped Inarizaki’s kings hold the crown.”
You shrugged. You were well-aware of your family’s position in the Kingdom, but it did not feel the same. “That may be true, but I did not go out much. People did not make efforts to befriend me, either. I cannot help but think people do not care much about me.”
“All of the Princes received the invitation letter for your birthday, but we get them enough that Her Majesty discards them, or leaves it up to our judgment should we wish to go,” as if recalling the memory crystal clear, the Prince went beet-red from his neck-up. He tried to hide it by puffing out his collar, but to no avail. The redness of his skin still peeked from his shirt, and you stifled a giggle. “I had just turned twenty-one at that time, so my mother had visited. I guess you could say it was sheer luck that she chanced upon your invitation and insisted I go.”
“To establish connections and form alliances with the general’s daughter?” you cajoled.
“To find a wife, actually,” he sputtered out, “My mother worries I will die a lonely man because I do not speak with women. Or to anyone, at all.”
“You speak plenty to me.”
“Only because I enjoy your company, and our conversations are not mindless, boring politics.”
“True, but if we were back in the Palace, I would have probably talked about politics with you. Or worse, biscuits and tea. We would not have been able to talk casually about flowers, or say,” you gestured around you, “The history of our countries and all the wars caused by a man in love.”
“May history never repeat itself,” he replied drily, and you laugh.
You roamed the ruins for a little longer, noticing details like the dusty and faded portraits of the old monarchs. Some of them have been torn up, save for a portrait of a beautiful young woman who must have been the last Queen. The one buried at the South Wing.
The rooms had been emptied, too, which you found off. You expected to see at least remnants of a bed, or a study, but Kiyoomi had explained that not much survived the fire. You were enamored with everything, though, feeling like you were time travelling. And you didn’t stop exploring until you’ve turned every room upside down without bothering the evidence of history, and Kiyoomi was content to let you be. Later, when you’d both grown tired and weary of the weakening rock fortress, you returned to where you tied Astra and Lucy.
The way back home was blissfully silent. The horses were no longer running, since Kiyoomi said the sun would shine brightest at this time of day, and he wanted to take you somewhere beautiful. Letting him lead the way, he led you back inside the forest and towards a lake hidden by the tall trees. It almost felt like a gated pathway, with all the trees lined up to the side and the lake sitting smack in the middle of it all.
He was right – the sunlight made everything a hundred times more beautiful.
The water glinted, gleamed like it was made of crystals. The water was so clear you could see everything underneath, from the tiny pebbles, down to the fishes swimming underneath in all bright colors. Even your reflection smiled back at you brightly. Unable to help it, you dipped a finger into the water, fascinated by the small ripples it caused, and how the smaller fishes scurried away from the motion.
Meanwhile, Kiyoomi secured the ties of the horses around a nearby tree and opened his satchel, handing you a red apple. “I grew it myself,” he nudged the fruit towards, “Here.”
“Thank you.”
You bit down on it, and held back a moan. Gods. Was Itachiyama heaven or something? Or did fruits just taste better fresh and without preservatives? His apples were juicier than the ones you have back at home, and you were gobbling it, uncaring of the juices that ran down your wrist, leaving a sticky trail in its wake. Kiyoomi had an apple for himself, too, but he seemed too amused by your reactions to start eating his.
“So,” you leaned back on your palms, bum flat on the bank, “What do you do back in the Palace?”
“Avoid Belleview at all costs.” He casted another sideways glance your way. “Do not ask me why.”
You wouldn’t dare ask why – you both knew – but you couldn’t stop your tongue from expressing your curiosity.
“Has… has Her Majesty ever pressured you and Iris to have children?”
“That is a very personal and uncomfortable question,” he sighed, exasperated, “But to answer you, no. She could care less about us as long as we fulfill our duties and do the necessary work. I imagine the case will be different for you, though, seeing as you married her precious son.”
“She hasn’t told us anything, but on the dinners we share with her, she will imply a thing or two.”
He snorted, and took a bite of his apple. “Well, good luck with that.”
“Have you known Iris a long time?”
“No. I never even knew she existed until Her Majesty told me I was getting married,” gently, he took the leftover apple core from your hands and pulled out a handkerchief, dipping the ends of it into the water before reaching for you. You stared at him, confused, when he gestured to your palms. Realization dawned on you, and you handed him your palm. Carefully, the Prince rolled up the sleeves of your blouse all the way up to your elbows and wiped the sticky remnants of the juice with his damp handkerchief.
His actions – so gentle yet intentional – made you feel all kinds of things you shouldn’t be feeling in the first place.
Yet, you couldn’t make yourself pull away from his grasp even if you wanted to.
“Why do you keep asking about her? I figured you would avoid anything that concerns her.”
You winced. “I just… I cannot help but compare myself to her. I often wonder what she has that I do not. Why Rintaro is completely smitten with her, and why he cannot love me just the same,” you admitted, thankful that the Prince has your hand in his, otherwise you’d make all sorts of flailing gestures and make yourself look more like a bumbling fool compared to the ever-so-graceful Iris. “It’s not to say I am the better choice, but have I not given him everything? I gave him my heart and soul. I vowed to spend a lifetime with him. What has she given him that I could not?”
“My brother is a fool. You cannot intellectualize a fool’s decision.”
“On the contrary, your brother is very smart.”
“Academically, maybe, but he knows nothing about life.”
“Oh, and you do?”
“I have lived longer than him.”
“Only by three years!”
“And yet it is crystal clear to me what Rintaro cannot see,” he pulled your sleeves down and stashed his handkerchief back into his satchel, leaning forward with his hand on his knee as he cast you a hard look. You couldn’t read whether it was anger, or something else entirely on his face. “He is a witless excuse of a husband, and more so of a man, because he truly deluded himself that he is in love with Iris when he is not.”
“Wh-what do you mean?”
“Those two do not even talk,” he scoffed, “They merely use each other’s bodies as a way of getting oneself of. But I doubt Rintaro has shared anything intimate with her, and knowing Iris, she will not open her heart to him, either. At least I know very well she does not share the same affections.”
You shook your head, consciously rubbing your wrists together.
“What you speak of is impossible. They care about each other.”
“Rintaro doesn’t even know Iris is allergic to shellfish. He has tried feeding it to her plenty of times on their ‘dates.’ And Iris has not an effing clue over what Rintaro likes outside the bedroom – things that a lover should know about their significant other. What makes Rintaro smile? What makes Iris tick? They know none of that. They are not in love. They are just lonely.”
You flinched. “I was lonely, too, when I met the Crown Prince. Does that mean I was not in love, as well?”
“You are in love,” he gritted his teeth, “Hopelessly so. And I honestly wish you had chosen better. Anyone instead of him.”
You opened your mouth to retort – somehow, his words sounded like an insult. As if you were an idiot for falling for Rintaro, and even worse, for marrying him. Fine, you were stupid. Sure, you didn’t make the best decisions when you were in love, but must he be so cruel about it? His words had pierced your pride and shattered it, and you felt humiliated. So you stood up, determined to walk away from the Prince when your foot slipped on something, and the world turned upside down.
The blue of the sky shifted from the clearness of the water as you were submerged. The scream you were about to let out was lodged in your throat, and you kept sinking, sinking, sinking. You thrashed your arms out wildly as your wet clothes weighed you down. You struggled to breathe, your eyes stinging until you were pulled out of the water and hefted into Kiyoomi’s lap.
“Princess! Are you well?”
His hands were everywhere. Cracking your eyes open to ensure you were with him, his thumb brushing over your lips numb from the cold, and his other hand, warm and comforting at the small of your back. Briefly, in the haze of post-shock and the urgent need for air, you could vaguely see your bra peeking out from the white shirt sticking to you like a second skin. A pastel pink bra – and suddenly you were cold for an entirely different reason. Thankfully, Kiyoomi didn’t seem to notice, or if he did, he was too much the gentleman to comment on it.
“Princess,” he tapped your cheek, and this time, you had no choice but to look him in the eye to reassure him. The Prince audibly sighed. “Thank the heavens you didn’t go too deep. Are you okay?”
Your teeth chattered, but you managed to flash him a thumbs-up.
“Th-the water is effing cold.”
Alarm painted over his features. The next thing you know, the Prince was shedding off his shirt and motioning for you to remove yours, as well. He’d already turned around before you could be embarrassed, taking his shirt from his outstretched hands. And my, was it warm. It smelled like him, too, of freshness and mint and nature. But mostly, it was dry, and you had no protests as Kiyoomi carried you once again – this time on Astra’s back instead of Lucy.
“Here, ride with me. Share my heat just until we head back to the farm.”
“O–” Kiyoomi was behind you in an instant, his chest deliciously warm as it pressed flushed against your back. Meanwhile, you burned to your core with embarrassment. He didn’t notice, though, because the Prince was too busy trying to get Lucy to follow him, all at the same time leading Astra forward with you blocking his path. He was so close his natural scent wafted off of you, something so masculine yet comforting. The muscles on his arms also flexed when he reached for Astra’s reign, and you were certain you were being tested right then and there. “–Kay.”
“Princess, can you promise me something?”
The hairs at the back of your hair stood. He sounded a lot closer than you previously thought he was. “Y-Yes?”
“You should avoid Iris at all costs. She is not who you think she is.”
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You made it back to the farmhouse in half the time it took you to reach the castle ruins. Kiyoomi had been so worried over your health that he rushed back home. Eventually, he’d snapped at Lucy with such a fierce tone that the poor girl scurried forward, leaving you three behind with a heavier weight. You knew he meant well though – Lucy knew the way back home, and he figured seeing her without a rider would alert one of the servants to anticipate your arrival. True to his words, someone was already waiting.
“Oh, dear! What happened to you?!”
Kanami rushed forward just as Kiyoomi set you down. Like mother, like son – you thought. Kanami wouldn’t stop raising your limbs as if to inspect an injury, and she paled once she realized you were wearing Kiyoomi’s shirt, and her son strutted around the porch in his mighty, shirtless glory. Oh, Heavens. All that farm work really paid off. He was nicely built.
“She fell in the lake,” he responded calmly, though his frantic movements as a servant ran forwards said otherwise. “Please draw a bath for her. And make it warm. Thank you.”
“Yes, sir!” The maid scurried away.
Kiyoomi rushed inside the house first, while Kanami guided you back like you were a newborn foal unsteady on her legs. You didn’t need it, but the kind gesture was appreciated. A moment later, Kiyoomi appeared with a handful of towels.
“Th-thank you.”
“Oh, my, you poor thing,” Kanami crooned, “I will prepare dinner for the three of us. Please do join when you have made yourself comfortable, Your Highness.”
Excusing yourself, you headed upwards and took a warm bath. The tub had already been filled with vanilla and other oils, and you soaked in it, letting the hot water seep into your skin and relax your muscles. It also wouldn’t hurt to smell nice – especially when Kiyoomi always smelled delectable. But just as that thought crossed your mind, and the sight of his abs flexing while he ran around the porch looking for a maid flashed in your memory again, you dunked your head under the water. You’ve heard of cold dunks, but now, it was time for hot dunks.
You had to stop thinking about him.
Or… why should you? Was it to stay loyal to Rintaro? Did it even make sense to be loyal to someone who wasn’t? Was it a sin to be attracted to Kiyoomi when Rintaro was clearly into Iris?
You were exasperated, and by the time you’d finished your bath, the time on the clock told you that you perhaps enjoyed it a little too much. Remembering that Kanami was preparing dinner for tonight, you quickly got dressed and rushed downstairs. You were about to announce yourself when you heard two voices – the loud, clear one of a woman’s, and an aggravated, quieter voice belonging to a man. You froze in your spot, unsure if you should make yourself known. But what if they were arguing? Would that make it worse? Or maybe you should just walk away and not eavesdrop? You should respect their privacy –
“If you have something to say, just spit it out.”
“Silly boy. You could be sweeter to your mother. I cooked your favorite dinner!”
“This was my favorite five years ago.”
“Well, how would I know? You don’t tell me anything!” Kanami argued, and faster than you could blink, her aggravated tone quickly turned into a sickly-sweet one – the persuasive Kanami you knew so well. “Anyways, I just wanted to say I am very proud of you, son. I heard Her Majesty was pleased with the work you managed to finish here, and your people are very delighted to hear you have returned. I really wish you would visit more often.”
“…I will try.”
“And bring Her Highness with you, of course,” she added, and you bit your lip. You could just be imagining it, but Kanami sounded like she had another meaning to it. Like Kiyoomi was somehow by default going to invite you. “Also… speaking of the public. Well, they’re just eager to see you! Both of you! Which is why I am inviting you both to the premiere event of my latest movie-”
“No.”
“What do you mean, no?”
“Too many cameras. I don’t like it,” he tried to reason, and you heard footsteps echoing from the dining room. Without enough time to duck and hide, you plastered yourself against the wall, forcing a smile on your face when the Prince caught you red-handed. He smirked, seemingly amused, crossing his arms on his strong chest. “Let me ask the Princess herself if she’d like to go, though. If she does, I might change my mind.”
“I…I’ve never been to a premiere night. I would like to,” you smiled, albeit shyly, your gaze darting between Kanami and her son – who you think is now going to be your biggest problem. Or more like the things he was making you feel was becoming the problem.
“Then it is settled! I’ll bring my stylists over and we will all get ready for tomorrow’s event,” she announced, circling the dining table as she pumped her fists in the air. “Oh, you guys will be the talk of the whole country for weeks! This is going to be great!”
“I look forward to seeing your movie, Kanami.”
“Oh, and don’t forget! You’re each other’s dates,” she winked, and just like that, all hell broke loose.
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For a country that claimed to not indulge in the luxuries, Kanami’s premier night could rival that of a Prince’s birthday ball. A red carpet. A hundred photographers, with even more journalists and interviews. Celebrities were everywhere you looked. This night was the definition of a night to be remembered, with all the flashing lights on you that it was actually blinding. Apparently, the public had caught wind that Prince Kiyoomi, and you, a Princess of Inarizaki and a potential Queen, would be attending, so the crowd doubled in size in anticipation. It wasn’t often their lovely Prince made an appearance to public events solely catered for media and entertainment. It was even more baffling he brought a Princess with him – one that wasn’t his wife.
At first, you were anxious they might not like you. You were the date of their Prince, and he wasn’t your husband – but the crowd cheered and screamed as you left the car, your gloved arm looped around Kiyoomi’s. He was extra handsome tonight – his curls gelled back, revealing a handsome face sculpted by the Gods themselves, and he wore a tailored suit nothing short of extravagant.
Kanami’s team did great making you look beautiful too. And dare you say, you felt confident enough to be standing next to the Second Prince. You wore a sleeveless champagne colored dress that hugged your figure well, with a fur cloak wrapped around your shoulders. A Bvlgari Serpenti Viper necklace hang on your neck, a gift from Kanami before she left first for the event. It was a simple look – nothing too flashy, and yet you could tell the difference from your usual outfits were you to show up in royal events.
Firstly, you wouldn’t be allowed to show this much skin. The amount of collarbones exposed for the world to see would have Her Majesty in a cardiac arrest. And the necklace you wore wasn’t dainty or minimal enough – by Her Majesty’s standards. The fur cloak would have her in shambles, too, but somehow, you couldn’t care that much.
Kiyoomi couldn’t tear his gaze off of you, and the cameras flashed at each move you made. Every blink, every smile, every nervous graze of your finger against Kiyoomi’s arm.
The last time people had noticed you this much and showed their love for you was when you married Rintaro. The only difference was you didn’t feel this exhilarated. On that day, you only felt miserable. Like your entire hurt was on display for the world to see. That your heartbreak was being broadcasted worldwide, and the smiles Rintaro sent your way was scripted, perfected for the cameras.
Kiyoomi wasn’t like that.
Kiyoomi wasn’t like him.
He never looked at the cameras once. He only had his eyes on you, and when he spoke, he did so behind your earrings, as if he was aware people could read his lips and this moment was private. It was just you and him, and not even the watchful, inquisitive eyes of the world could take this away from you. He made you feel safe, utterly protected even when presented for everyone to judge and criticize.
“If you wish to leave at any point, tell me and I will take you away from here.”
His voice, deep and smooth and gentle, sent shivers down your spine. It felt oddly intimate taking photos with him like this, how his arms had snaked around your waist to pull you closer to him. How he would always speak secretively, yet the slight curling of his lips would be open for the cameras to witness. How his fingerless ring sits comfortably at your hip, and you were leaning against him, smiling at the cameras whilst he smiles at you. The moment was utterly sensitive that you feared one wrong move could undo it all.
And you wouldn’t let it.
Turning your head to the side, you leaned up to whisper at him. “Thank you, but I think I will enjoy myself tonight.” You kept your voice low like his, spoke your words slowly as if you were treading on icy ground, and when you pulled away, you noticed you’d left a smear of your lipstick on the tip of his ear.
You didn’t tell him to wipe it away.
You didn’t stop when he held your hand. You didn’t tear your gaze away from him when he led you inside the building, and neither did you tell him to stop when he kept his arm around your waist until you’d found your seats. Admittedly, you couldn’t focus on the movie. It was difficult when you could feel Prince Kiyoomi’s gaze on you – how braver he seemed when in the dark. You feign ignorance to it all, or more like you tried, because you lightly pinched his thigh and told him to focus on the movie. For a moment, you thought he didn’t hear you. But then he turned his head away and you both watched his mother’s romance film – which, thankfully, she isn’t the love interest in. It would be extremely awkward if she was. But it was still a rather intense romance film – a forbidden relationship between a man and his best friend’s wife.
Kiyoomi shifted uncomfortably in his seat. You were now at the scene where the female main character and her lover, her husband’s best friend, were under the rain. They had gotten into an argument – the woman didn’t want to continue their relationship anymore, didn’t want to have to continue lying to those close to her, but the man was having none of it.
He loved her.
He’s loved her for a long time.
He loved her first.
And he knew damn well her husband wasn’t treating her right. They only got married anyway because he had gotten her pregnant at a university party, and things went downhill from there. But he could only handle so much. He could only endure so much. Eventually, all the love he’d been holding back had grown too much it had poured out from his veins. He would run after her, chase her, and follow her wherever she went. She had his heart from the moment he laid his eyes on her. He wouldn’t give up on her now.
But it was wrong – she knew it was.
You gripped the edge of your seat.
The man, broken and down to his knees, professed his love to her. His tears were flowing down his face on time with the rain, and the woman… Well, she was devastated for a lack of better words. She didn’t like her marriage. She didn’t even like her husband. But what would people say? They wouldn’t understand. They would only see her as a lowly woman who cheated on her husband, with his best friend of all people. They would never see her pain, or how she, too, craved to be loved the way she loved others.
No matter what she said, the man was never swayed. He would fight for her. He would be brave for her. And then he stood up, took her face into his palm, and kissed her. Your eyes grew wide. The kiss was too intense it was hard to believe it was only acting. No, he kissed her like he was consuming her soul, like he was breathing her in. Like he was the air she needed to live, and without her, he would be nothing. And when she kissed him back, she had melted. Like all of pins and needles she used to hold herself up withered away because there was no need to be strong when she knew he would always catch her, that he would be there to be her pillar, her strength, her fortitude.
You looked away from the kiss. Beside you, Kiyoomi had turned his gaze away from the screen, too, and his eyes were so dark it was hard to see him at all. But you knew he was looking at you. And something about his gaze seemed forbidden – felt like a secret. Because in this theater, everyone had their eyes on the screen, completely unaware that the Prince held the same intensity in his eyes when the man kissed his beloved.
Your lips tingled.
Your fingertips curled, aching, itching to reach out to him. He was right there – just within your reach. You could run your hands through his thick, dark curls. You could stare into those dark eyes and get lost within them. It wasn’t love – no, not really. But it was the beginning of something more, and you didn’t know what was louder – your heartbeat or the cheers of the audience as the movie came to an end.
And then the realization struck you –
You wanted Kiyoomi to kiss you.
The lights flashed on. The audience cheered and applauded. The moment was broken.
You looked back to the stage, feeling cold dread wash over you. You couldn’t believe it. You had thought of a different man that wasn’t your husband in ways that were… inappropriate. Is this what Rintaro felt? When he looked at Iris, did he feel this need to have his lips on her? Did he yearn for her? But what could this mean? Were you falling for Kiyoomi? It couldn’t be. It’d only been a week. You were great friends – yes, friends! And friends didn’t go around kissing each other. Friends didn’t want their friends to kiss them.
But you had wanted him to, anyway, and now your dress felt suffocating.
Wordlessly, you stood up from your seat. You headed for the exit, or the restroom, you were unsure. All you knew was that you had to leave. You turned away from everyone who greeted you, pushed away anyone who asked for a photo, and your blood ran cold. What would the tabloids say? That you were a rude Princess? You were sure you look like a madman running out of the theatre when the night had barely even begun. Maybe you looked like a criminal caught in the middle of her act – and what crime? Adultery.
Tears pricked at your eyes. You willed them away, because you didn’t want to ruin your makeup. But you just… This was all a mistake. You should have never come to Itachiyama.
He was your husband’s brother!
You pushed the doors open, arms raised to call for a driver when a flash of lights bombarded you. It stung, blinding you for a moment until you stumbled back. A horde of reporters were shoving their phones and microphones in your face before you could process anything. You pushed back to the crowd, begging for reprieve, but there were too many of them, and only one of you. They all screamed your name, chanted your title, and in the midst of it all, you heard Rintaro’s name being spoken.
“Please,” you insisted, “I just want to get back to my car. Please, let me–”
“Your Highness! Princess!” a reported shoved his way through the crowd, his microphone hitting your lip hard enough that your teeth ached. Shit. You lowkey missed the strict customs in Inarizaki – people wouldn’t be so comfortable being in your personal space otherwise. But the reporter’s next words made your stomach drop.
“Did you visit here with Prince Kiyoomi as payback?”
“I – excuse me?”
Stunned into silence, you stared back at the man demanding answers from you. There was a crazed look in his eyes, his free hand clutching a camera that had taken multiple photos at the look of surprise in your face. Your sweat turned cold, and you took a step back. You headed back for the building, only to collide with a firm chest and a familiar scent washing over you. Before you could do anything, Kiyoomi had spun you around to face him, your head tucked in his neck as he pushed through the crowd. “Out of my way!”
You clung onto him like a child. You close your eyes, letting him shoulder all the pushing and shoving, all to keep you safe within his hold. The entire way back to the car, Kiyoomi bellowed at the people to give way for the both of you, and you’d never heard him sound so angry. Yet, you didn’t feel scared – at least, not of him.
The night was just taking an unexpectedly wrong turn, and you weren’t sure how much more you can handle.
“Kiyoomi,” you cried into his chest, “I don’t know what’s going on. I’m scared.”
“Do not answer them. Those are reporters and journalists crazed for the latest gossip.”
“Princess! Is it true your marriage is falling apart? Are you here in Itachiyama because of what the Crown Prince did? Answer us, Princess! What will be the future of the throne?”
The car came into view. Kiyoomi’s security team formed a barricade around you to allow you safe entry inside the car, puffing out their chests and shoving away anyone who dared tried to follow. Once inside, Kiyoomi barked on the driver to just move, and the car sped away. Your breathing slowly stabilized, but you were still far from being composed. In front of you, Kiyoomi had his hands balled into fists at his knees, his jaw clenched so tight you feared he’d pop a vein.
“Kiyoomi. What is going on? What were they talking about?”
Kiyoomi visibly relaxed at the sound of your voice. Dragging a hand down his face, he sighed, reaching for a tablet tucked away behind the seats and clicked on something. Then, he handed the tablet to you – and all your worst fears had now come to life. All the secrets you buried, the lies you’d kept – none of it was hidden anymore.
Trending for the past hour was an article recently published by a man named Kuroo Tetsurou, headlined ‘CROWN PRINCE RINTARO AND PRINCESS IRIS: LOVERS WITHOUT THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHER?’
The headline photograph was taken from a window, the photo blurry yet all the details were clear enough. Rintaro, on the bed, leaning against the headboard with his dress shirt unbuttoned and falling down on his shoulders. Iris, on top of him, bare with only her chest censored by a thick, black line. She was kissing him, her hands looped around her neck. Rintaro held her tightly, too, like he was afraid of letting her go – his hand with your wedding ring on it cupping her cheek as he kissed her back. On his neck were multiple hickeys, and her hair let loose and wild.
You felt like you stopped breathing entirely.
“Sir,” mumbled the driver nervously, “Are we going back to the farmhouse?”
“No. Head for the airport. We’re going straight to the palace.”
“But… Sir, your mother is still at the-”
“Kanami will understand,” grunted Kiyoomi, who suddenly snatched the tablet from you and shut it off. You didn’t know whether to be thankful or not. Quite frankly, you didn’t know what to feel. You felt numb and about to go insane all at the same time. Kiyoomi was more composed, at least, but it seemed he knew about this earlier and came running after you. Sighing, he loosened his tie and leant back against his seat.
“We need to go back to Inarizaki.”
You swallowed. You knew it now – you weren’t any better than Rintaro in the photos. But you could be honest, you could tell the truth, you could make it all better and stop it before it gets worse.
“Kiyoomi,” you trembled, spinning your wedding ring around your finger. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
The Second Prince shut his eyes. His placid face a contrast to his fists tightening even more. “Don’t,” he said, his voice sounding more resigned. Funny, how he was inches away from you, and he suddenly felt so far away when he opened his eyes – and you couldn’t recognize the man sitting in front of you anymore. “Whatever it is, just don’t.”
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strang3lov3 · 2 months ago
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Tear You Apart
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Roman hatefucks you (2.1k words).
Tags - smut, rough/violent sex, mean!roman, and perhaps dark!roman too if you squint (I’m serious. Don’t underestimate him) lack of proper foreplay (intentional), unprotected piv, spanking, biting, choking, hitting, degradation, bruises, dacryphilia, hatefuck, masturbation, fingering, creampie, come play, fearplay, threats of violence, typical Roman sexism, Roman spits in your mouth, orgasm denial, Roman denies you of some basic physiological needs in maslow’s hierarchy, a singular atom of aftercare, one (1) Depeche Mode reference. Probably forgot some things but if you’re here then you know what you want, and I know what you want, and we both know you’re gonna read anyway.
A/N - received a message from god and i did what had to be done. @cum-a-calla said “k but imagine Roman talking about how much he hates you while being violently railed. swoon” so here’s this. Straight fucking, beginning to end. I love you @cum-a-calla I think you’re just the fucking best 😻🥰 and @beefrobeefcal do your eyes ever hurt from how much I abuse them? Thank you for lending them to me again and again 💜🥩🐛
Roman’s swaying left and right in his swivel chair, nursing a glass of whiskey when you open his bedroom door. “You’re late,” he says, slurring his words ever so slightly. His eyes are bloodshot, hair mussed, tie loosened and his white shirt unbuttoned. Roman takes his silver watch off and sets it down on the end table next to him. 
You shift your weight from one foot to the other. “I know.”
“You texted 10:30,” Roman reminds you. “And it’s midnight.” 
“I know,” you repeat. “I’m sorry. Won’t happen again.” 
“Better fuckin’ not. C’mon, chop chop. You know what you’re here for.” 
You do know; the same thing you’re always here for. Roman downs the rest of his drink, then pours another, and this time offers it to you. You decline politely, a quiet and demure no, thank you with a gentle shake of your head as you take off your shirt. Roman shrugs, drinks that one too. He feels lightheaded. 
You shuck off your pants, and Roman takes care to help you with your bra, fingers tracing over the indents it’s left in your skin. “All of it,” he says, smacking your ass, right over that large, rashy bruise he left last time. It was a week ago, maybe. Is that correct? Is that the last time you did this? Roman can never keep track. It doesn’t matter anyway. You’re just as hungry for Roman’s violence as he is to inflict it upon you. 
You shimmy the cotton underwear down your hips and your legs, now fully bare before Roman. Exposed. Roman sidles up behind you, his veiny hands on your waist. He urges you closer to the mirror and turns you around slowly, admiring the marks he made on you last time. Bite marks, lots of bites, and god, how he loves sinking his teeth into your skin. There’s bruises darkening your skin, though not all are visible. Some you feel instead of see. There’s the odd scratch, maybe the fault of his unclipped nails or perhaps the blunt metal edge of his watch he doesn’t always remember to take off. Roman watches you in the mirror, the eye contact intimidating. He looks like he wants to eat you alive.
Roman presses his fingertips against a bruise on your hip, causing you to wince. It’s an odd shape, odd location too. “I like this one,” Roman says. “Pretty.” It’s a compliment, almost. Almost. 
It begins here. Roman separates your hands that are held together, nervously fidgeting with yourself. He takes your forearm and twists it behind your back, pushes it up, up, even higher yet. You can see in the mirror how he smiles, his eyes darkening when you start to wince in pain. “You’re hurting me,” you whine. “You’re - ah, my arm–”
“I know it hurts you,” Roman taunts. “I could break it just like this. Fuckin’ snap it. I think about it sometimes.”
His words make you sick. Make you breathe funny, make you feel all icky inside. He fucking loves it, how your breath hitches in your throat, and how he can feel it happen under his palm. And when you’re afraid like that, you squeeze around him harder, walls pulsing, clenching…
Roman forces you down onto the bed, your face buried in his pillows. You lie on your stomach and he parts your thighs with his knee, still holding you in place, now with both of your arms bent into place. Roman holds them in one hand and kneels at your side, and with his free hand he rubs over the swell of your ass. He parts your cheeks, admires your tight asshole and your snatch. He traces those pretty folds of yours and rubs your clit, listening to those quiet gasps you swallow. He wonders when you’ll - and yup, there it is. You’re writhing on the bed, grinding your hips into his palm. Roman smiles at this. The rules, you’re breaking the rules. “I’m not gonna make you come,” he reminds you. 
“I know,” you mumble.
“I’m only getting you wet.”
“I know.” 
“Then what do you think you’re doing?”
Silence. Roman removes his fingers from your cunt and spanks you hard - once, twice, three times total. You wail in pain, humming rhythmically in an attempt to soothe yourself of the ache, that awful sting. Roman traces the outline of his puffy handprint on your ass. “You just don’t get it, do you? It doesn’t matter how many times we do this little dance. You never learn who calls the shots. Un-fucking-believable,” he huffs. “I don’t give a shit if it hurts - you can forget about getting wet now. Spread your legs.”
Roman situates himself behind you as you spread your legs, though it’s not enough. Roman holds the backs of your knees in his hands and spreads you wider, the cool air a jarring sensation against your hot, pulsing sex. He unbuckles his belt and tosses it on the floor where it lands with a loud thump. He undoes his pants next, the zzzzip noise slow and loud as the metallic teeth separate one by one. Roman pulls his already-hard cock out and before entering you, brings his palm to your mouth. “Don’t say I don’t do anything for you. Spit.” 
You lift your head and spit into his palm, and he strokes his cock with it before pressing his blunt head against your entrance. You squeeze your eyes shut and suck in a breath, anticipating what’s to come. 
Roman thrusts violently into you, the stretch and the burn causing you to squeal. You scramble for hold on the sheets, the pillows - anything to ground yourself as you take the pain he gives to you. Roman grabs a fistfull of your hair and yanks, “C’mon,” he goads. “You can do better than that.”
Roman pulls out of you all the way and plunges right back into you, harder than before. You bite into a comforter to muffle a sob, the first tears squeezing from your eyes. It hurts, it all really fucking hurts, and each time is worse than the last. 
He wriggles his forearm under your tummy and hikes your hips up, Roman on his knees behind you. “Fuck yourself on it,” he says. “Go on and fuck my cock. Show me that you’re good at one thing, one simple thing.” 
Following his command, you rock yourself forward, then back again. It’s slow, as that’s all you can stomach right now. The pain hasn’t yet dissipated and each movement, each twitch of Roman’s cock feels like a knife against your insides. The pain is fiery, too intense to focus on anything but. 
“Are you even trying?”
“Yes,” you whimper, till rocking, inch by little inch. “I’m trying.”
Too slow. You’re too fucking slow, and too fucking tedious. Roman rolls his eyes, “You’re fucking pathetic,” he spits, words like poison. He takes your hips in his hands and pulls you hard against his cock, his hips slamming against your ass as he sets a brutal pace. “I have to do everything for you. What can you do, huh? Tell me, say ‘nothing, Roman’.”
“Nothing,” you repeat, voice thick with your tears. “Nothing, Roman.”
“That’s right. Don’t you ever forget it, you goddamn useless fucking cunt.” Roman’s nails are digging, cutting into your skin as he fucks you like an animal. “You’re good for nothing but getting fucked. Fucking whore, you’re fucking nothing without me. Nothing.”
You nod, sobbing as he pounds into you. You’re completely powerless, just how he wants you. Roman bares his teeth as he leans over you to wrap his hand around the column of your neck, pulling you up and against his chest as he fucks up into you. Roman squeezes your throat, bruising the soft flesh as he bites into your shoulder hard enough so that he draws blood. The coppery taste, the crimson dotting your skin. He licks it away. 
He’s choking you. He’s choking you and you’re wheezing, coughing and sputtering as you try desperately to wriggle your fingers under his palm. You succeed in this, or perhaps Roman lets you have a small win - either way, you free yourself from him and crawl forward on the bed, reaching for Roman’s glass of water on the nightstand. With shaky hands, you bring the glass to your lips and take little sips, all you can handle and you’re still spilling onto yourself. Roman glares at you as he gets off and rounds the bed, then takes the glass away from you. “Did I say you could have that?”
“I was ch-”
Roman lays a brutal slap against your cheek, less of a smack and more of a beating. His palm is so sharp it makes you cry harder. Fuck, he loves when you do that. 
“Shut the fuck up. You choke if I want you to choke,” he bites. “Don’t pull that shit again. God, I fucking hate you.”
Roman forces you onto your back and spreads your legs again. He enters you just as harshly as he did before, finding that same, punishing, unrelenting pace as he fucks you deep, the head of his cock kissing against your cervix with every one of his thrusts. 
You choke on your sobs, hyperventilating as tears stream down your cheeks. You feel lightheaded, numb everywhere but where pleasure and pain flows between your hips. Breathe, you need to breathe. 
“Stupid fucking slut. I fucking h- oh, fuck. Shit. I fucking hate you. Jesus Christ, I really fucking hate you, you know that?” 
You cry and cry, burying your head into Roman’s pillows to hide your face. Roman pulls the pillows away from you and throws them onto the floor, then grabs your face, digging his fingers into the hollows of your cheeks as he squeezes your jaw. “Hey. You fucking look at me when I use you. Right here. You focus right here.” 
Your face is puffy with tears, eyes red and tear-stained, lashes all wet. Roman wears a crooked smirk as he digs his fingers harder into your cheeks so that your mouth opens in a little O shape, then spits into your mouth. “Cunt. I fucking hate you, oh, I fucking hate you.” 
Roman pounds into you, hovering over your body to cage you in. You’re gonna feel all of him, and nothing else. He pins your wrists together above your head, his face panting into the skin of your neck as he fucks you so brutally. “Oh my god. Oh, fuck. Fuck,” he moans.
If you focus hard, you can feel his pubic bone against your clit. You follow that sensation, rocking your hips to meet his thrusts, chasing that sweet friction. You could come. You could. 
“Nuh-uh. Nice fucking try,” Roman half-laughs. “You’re not subtle.” 
Standing before you, Roman grabs you by the ankles and tugs you closer to himself. He puts your legs on his shoulders and ruts into you relentlessly, now chasing his orgasm. He could’ve gone longer than this, but he’s not gonna let you come on his cock. 
Roman feels that fiery pleasure build quickly in his belly, balls tightening, indicating that release is just moments away. “Ohhhh, fuck,” Roman moans gutturally, hanging his head back as he milks himself entirely, spurting rope after rope of his hot come.
You feel cheated. You feel used. You’re a crying mess when Roman pulls out of you, his spend spilling onto his bed. “R-Roman,” you whimper, violent sobs wracking through your body. Roman gathers his spend with his fingers and paints it over your cunt, lips all swollen and sore with the ferocity of his fucking. “I need you, Roman.”
Roman leans over you, “Go fuck yourself,” he whispers in your ear. “I mean it. Fuck yourself on your fingers.”
You’re completely exhausted. Fucked out. But still, you reach for your center and gather Roman’s come on your fingertips and circle your clit, willing your release along. Writhing on the bed, chasing a pleasure only Roman can give to you. And your poor pussy is so sore, beaten and bruised by Roman. He watches you intently and with dark, loveless eyes, that vein bulging in the center of his forehead. He covers your mouth with his hand and brings the other to your cunt, pushing two fingers inside, gentler than before. He curls those fingers repeatedly as you rub circles around your clit and oh, there it is. You’re pulsing around his fingers, muffled moans signaling your orgasm. Roman works you through it and far past its end, only stopping when you’re a twitching shuddering wreck, a bug flailing on its back. Pathetic.
Roman pulls his fingers from you and shoves them past your lips, “Suck,” he murmurs, then presses his forehead against yours. You lick his fingers, tasting your own release mixed with Roman’s. “God, you’re so fucked up,” he murmurs in a saccharine tone, and the sympathy in his voice sounds almost genuine. “So fucked up. Why do you let me do this to you, huh?”
-
Roman tags ❤️
@goldenispunk @littlevenicebitch69 @gaeela-6 @bean-is-reading @slutsoutgutsout
@galarian-weezing-on-prep @cum-a-calla @pastelpinkflowerlife @kolsmikaelson
@moth-maam56 @kothku @cult-of-escapism @swiftiegirliepop @bluecookies-and-ink
@romanarose @kappasbbgirl @magpiepills
@highinmiamiii @verstappensrealwife
@thesummerpetrichor @lilipads @luiscarrutherss @pastelpinkflowerlife @baronessvonglitter
@myromeow @ovaryacted @doll-0f-flesh @/always-andromeda
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crownmemes · 2 months ago
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Assorted Media Sentences, Vol. 18
(Sentences from various pieces of media. Adjust phrasing where needed)
"You have a lot of love for him, don't you?"
"As tempting as your offer may be, I am a man of principles.... And they bribed me first."
"You're one of them, aren't you?"
"You're going to survive this, and you're going to see the bastards responsible suffer. I promise you that."
"I don't want to get you drunk, but that's a very fine Chardonnay you're not drinking."
"You don't have to live in the past. Just let it go."
"Aren't you the cutest little thing when you're being shy?"
"You look so pretty in that dress!"
"Are you bringing home strays now?"
"I love a rum and coke in the middle of the day! It makes me feel like I'm on a tropical island!"
"You are not as charming as you think you are."
"Apart from feeling like someone stuck knitting needles in my ears, I'm fine!"
"You know that feeling you have that we've met before? It's the same with me."
"Strange how memory can come and go, isn't it?"
"You know what I said the other night about how I admire you? I really meant it."
"I came back to finish you off."
"Exciting? People are dying! I don't think exciting is the word I'd use to describe it!"
"We have existed this way for thousands of years. Who are you to challenge our ways?"
"Oh well. It's not the first time my heart's been broken."
"Tonight's the night I get some answers, one way or another."
"Tonight, the age of man comes to an end."
"Dying in a hail of bullets seems like such a waste, don't you think?"
"Who wears a suit to dispose of a body?"
"Are you rich? How much?"
"We got off to a rough start. It happens."
"That's a bad idea, but you're free to indulge it."
"Does a closed door mean nothing to you?"
"We all have our secrets - even me. Especially me."
"Drunk, I'm an open book. Sober, I'm cagey as hell."
"We're not trained in kindness. It's not a prerequisite. In fact, sometimes I think it's trained out of us."
"Can we go? This place is really freaking me out!"
"Wait a minute! You used me as bait?"
"Do you remember when you first felt an emotional attachment?"
"Aren't you getting a little tired of this? Because I know I am."
"You know, I think if you're going to do something stupid, love is probably the best excuse going."
"There's still a war going on, and I have a job to do."
"Never underestimate the female of the species. It won't end well."
"If once is a mistake and twice is unfortunate, what does that make this?"
"I'm not going to take advice from some thief!"
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livinahey · 1 year ago
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aaaaaastrobs-essions (jk) .・゜゜・
---
i'm back :)
.・。.・゜✭・.・。.・゜✭・»»————>
if you struggling with low self esteem go to fire sun/earth mars/venus in angles (1h/4h/7h/10). They will cheer you up and remind you that you deserve fine things in life 💅✨🧚‍♀️ just dont fake your insecurities to them or theyll disgusted by you
speak of self esteem, someone that have their asteroid medusa (149) in your 2nd are the one that silently judge and mock you. the one that try to attack your self esteem. the one that underestimate you; and will start to think "whats cool about them?" if you get great achievement in life. EVEN think that you dont deserve that and it should be them because they think theyre way much better than you 😹😹 what a bitch. beware of them try to steal your great things as a result ‼️😒👹💥💥
asteroid nemesis (128) in house shows ab whats hurt you then you develop animosity/hatred to it, check the theme of the house
1h - hatred towards self identity, hatred towards how people see you, you can hate your looks :(
2h - hatred towards possessions. You may lacks of material possessions, feel less than others in that area and you hate it
3h - hatred towards sibling, neighbor
4h - hatred towards family
5h - hatred towards "spotlight", flings, drama, childlike spirit
6h - hatred towards coworker, health (you may feel youre less healthy than others)
7h - hatred towards partner (✋💀💀), partnership itself. you likely wanna do everything alone
8h - hatred towards mystery. you hate it when someone hides something from you, not clear ab something, keeping something from you, being secretive
9h - hatred towards um.... tw religions. sorry you probably hate particular beliefs. hatred towards travelling, inlaws are also possible
10h - hatred towards public image, fame. you can hate public figures, famous person 😹😹 (im laughing because yeah we all know public figure often are not what they show on the media aka theyre fake)
11h - hatred towards friend, hatred towards what you see on internet. can be indicator of someone that dont like to use social media, or you give hate speech/comments on social media
12h - hatred towards whats "out of reach"
cardinal moons are pure souls that surrounded by "darkness". they can easily influenced by negativity from their surrounding so they MUST, i say MUST to keep good ppl around them or....bye (aka they can turn themselves into the evil)
what's with sag venus and having interest in things that they shouldnt be interested to
taurus women have this fiery strong badass facade to them, while the men looks like cute puppy (and wise???) lmao (for sun moon mars)
mutable mercury in first decan (0°-9°) why are you like to lie for no reason. are prone to say what they dont really mean. go seek better hobbies!
some of leo sun men are gay but they hide it by having love relationship with women... that's very weird (and irritating) of you
undeveloped earth venus only falls for/want to dating popular goodlooking mf even if in personality wise theyre not that best and it can leads to unfulfilling relationship 💁‍♀️
talk ab earth venus, i see them always fall for fixed sign venus (no im not referring them fixed venus as bad one that i mentioned above)
developed earth venus? they dont need to be with someone to increase their status, they simply being the (true) great person they are 🤩 (they know how to and do get the good life by themselves!!)
what i like ab fire moon is theyre so passionate but sometimes it can be too passionate where it leads to them making unnecessary drama 😭😭
water suns are prone to being delusional 😹😹
air venus stop giving mixed signals
i cant help but think ab where sagittarius in your chart shows what's "wild", "crazy" about you. thats why pluto in sag generations being seen as scary bcs the power (pluto rules ab power) they have.... 😹😹
moon-neptune aspects 🤝 say something then regret it
libra big 6 placements 🤝 attract petty ppl (and then get attacked, being seen as bad one when they just want to defend/protect themselves :()
undeveloped fixed moon 🤝 being petty
pluto in earth house (2h/6h/10h) are the brat but loved lmao
aqua mars 🤝 makes ppl amazed
air sign jupiter give the vibes of unstoppable teenagers (in a good way). see blackpink lisa (aqua jupiter), nct jaemin (gemini jupiter), newjeans hanni (libra jupiter), or another air sign jupiter you know! 😉
saturn-sun aspect are prone to experience unexpected loss :(
there's nothing more i hate in synastry than squaring to venus aspect... bc i feel unwanted there 🧍‍♀️🪓
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whoskimii · 5 months ago
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hi baby !! would you mind writing some megumi’s fluff? like comforting him after a really hard mission? thank u sm take care love !!💌
since we all love 'gumi let's do this <33
⋆౨ৎ˚ notes > megumi x you. fluff! he had a rough mission but you're here <33 a bit grumpy but still cute. tell me if i missed anything!! ^^ ౨ৎ warning : you may have butterflies in your belly while reading this!! 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔
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megumi never liked showing his vulnerability to others. he didn't even like the feeling of it.
he knew that vulnerability wasn't the same thing as weakness. but he just couldn't get himself to show how tired he was around other people. he didn't want them to show pity for him, or to be underestimated by them.
however, that was before you came along. he didn't understand. you had something that they didn't have. it was like he didn't know what it was about you but he also knew at the same time. he just couldn't wrap his head around it.
megumi loved taking care of you just as much as he loved you taking care of him. for some reason, he felt vulnerable, yes, but not underestimated. he just felt like himself. and that was he loved about you. he could be himself and let his guard down without worrying about anything.
maybe that was that special thing about you.
megumi would be lying if he said he didn't have a rough day, and an even rougher mission. sure, he came back with a few scratches but he also felt tired. he couldn't remember the last time he felt this exhausted.
if it hadn't been for you, he'd keep his chin up, but you were here. his feet automatically guided him to your room. the second he stepped inside that familiar, safe space, a weary sigh left his lips and his shoulders slumped.
you were on your bed, painting your nails with a baby pink nail polish. as you registered his presence, you instantly sensed his exhaustion. you knew him so well.
you set everything aside and gave him a small smile. "c'mere, 'gumi," you patted the empty spot next to you, still careful not to mess up your nails. megumi didn't need to be told twice. he flopped down on your bed and closed his eyes, but not before placing his head in your lap. "had a long day." he mumbled, which made you giggle. "i can see that." you replied.
he opened an eye, glancing up at you. "what's that supposed to mean ?" you smiled. "you're just... not like your usual bubbly self." you replied sarcastically. megumi scoffed. "yeah. sure."
he opened both eyes. "you're not gonna caress my hair or somethin' ? you always do that." you gave him a sheepish smile and showed him your nails, freshly painted. "oh." he sighed. "i like this color on you. suits you." you smiled. "aw, thanks."
at your smile, he couldn't help but chuckle quietly. "you're not gonna give me a kiss, at least ?" his words made you giggle. "oh, how forgetful i can be, sometimes."
you leaned down and shared a sweet, lazy kiss with megumi. "i love you." you mumbled into the kiss. he hummed against your lips and when you pulled away, he opened his eyes again. "much better. and love you too."
he loved you taking care of him.
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hope you like ittt <33 love ya!
⋆˚࿔ kimi 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
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mncxbe · 1 year ago
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Omg, How do you think Dazai, Ranpo, and Jouno (if you want you can add some people) react if their S/o is still stuck in the "Crush phase", like subconsciously smiling at them, sometimes forgetting to breathe (is that just me ?), hiding their face, you get the gist :]
Omg this is so sweet I cannot- I made it kinda sappy hihi let's get right into it♡♡♡ also sorry it took so long to post. school is killing me💀
°☆●
Me, blushing? Nah...
𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊, 𝑹𝒂𝒏𝒑𝒐, 𝑱𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒐 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓
𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: fluff♡
𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊
cocky bastard (affectionately)
teases you so much about it omg but does find it adorable
"Aww my bella's still flustered around me? Glad I didn't lose my charm"
no bcs if you catch him off guard; like if he sees you look at him with those big doe eyes he will defo get flashbacks of the times you first started going out on dates
he smiles so gently and he's so happy
like don't underestimate the love this man will have for you fr
You were currently sitting at a square table, tucked in the corner of your favourite coffee shop, with your loving boyfriend facing you. He's been listening to you talk about your insufferable colleagues at work for about half an hour.
You knew you were starting to get the facts mixed up in a jumble of incoherent sentences but you couldn't help it; not when Dazai was looking at you with those beautiful, chocolate brown eyes and that smile you loved so much.
And oh, how blissfully aware he was of the effect he had on you. It warmed his heart to see you act so nervous around him, because of him, after all this time...
He never thought the two of you would last. Maybe a couple of weeks or months, yea. But three whole years? And the relationship was still going well? He was the luckiest man of Earth.
"Aww is my pretty girl blushing again?" he cooed as he leaned over the table and pinched your cheek lightly.
"What? No, I'm not..." you whined in protest as you covered your face with one of your hands.
"It's ok bella. I know you'll never resist my charms. Now please go on talking. I love the gossip" he mocked again, but you caught the hint of softness in his voice.
Taking a deep breath in, you resumed your talk, hand subconsciously reaching out across the table for his.
Dazai intertwined his fingers with yours, meeting them mid-way. He listened carefully, sliding his thumb over yours like he did a countless times before- like he'll do until the end of time because he loves you- and he smiled, nodding at your words.
𝑹𝒂𝒏𝒑𝒐
cocky bastard part 2
much like Dazai he loves your reactions; it's a gentle reminder that you still love him the same way you did when you became a couple
also teases you a bit but let's be honest, he's probably stuck in the crush phase too
y'all are so giddy all the time really
Lost in deep thought, Ranpo swirled his tongue around a cherry flavoured lollipop; fingers mindlessly tapping against the cushioned couch in a slow rhythm.
"You see. Those people must've been hiding in the warehouses closest to the city. They needed a fast escape route so picking the ones on the shore would've made no sense."
For the past ten minutes Ranpo's been explaining to you how he captured a group of gun dealers, deducing the location of their hideout from a mere stain he found on one of the men's shoes.
As per usual, you listened patiently to all he had to say. Your boyfriend's stories never ceased to fascinate you; he was simply amazing. As you watched him nonchalantly explaining every step of his deduction, his signature grin stretched on his lips; a rosy tint rose to your cheeks.
"And anyway, that's how we narrowed down the possible options for the warehouses. Since the ones on the eastern side were patrolled more often, only the ones in the western side remained as- Hey, you still listening to me?"
His question snapped you out of your trance and you nodded eagerly.
"Yes babe. Sorry. I was just distracted for a moment"
Ranpo didn't fail to notice the way you averted his gaze from his and how your blush grew deeper when he leaned in, placing a finger under your chin to make you face him again.
"Then look at me when I'm talking, sugar. You know I can't stand it when I don't have all your attention."
"Sure Ranpo, sure. Now go on please" you urged him and he couldn't help but smile.
Your boyfriend indulged you, continuing his story from where he was left but his attention now shifted to you. He was speaking mechanically, focusing on your awed expression and trying his best to conceal his pride and joy. Even after all these years of being a couple, you were still so excited and giddy whenever he told you about a case at work.
He remembered your first date, when he accidently rambled on about some murder that happened in your neighbourhood and you stood these smiling, just like you did now, listening to him talk. That's the day he knew you were the one.
When he finally finished talking you clapped your hands, merrily swaying from side to side.
"That was great love. I'm sure I would've never figured it out. You're amazing"
Ranpo chuckled and placed a quick kiss on your lips, causing you to flush again.
"And you're adorable when you blush like that" he said gently, booping your nose.
𝑱𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒐
he's so painfully aware of all your reactions
when your breath hitches when you watch him cook dinner for you? he catches that; when your heart beats slightly faster when the two of you cuddle? he doesn't miss that either
doesn't always want to admit it but he loves it
also doesn't tease you too often about it; he simply doesn't point it out because he knows he still reacts the same to you
congrats, you made his heart melt
Your boyfriend was minding his own business, typing away some reports at the kitchen table when you placed a cup of steaming coffee next to him.
"Here you go sir. A double shot espresso with no milk and no soy sauce." you said playfully, causing Jouno's lips to curl into a smile.
"You're hilarious, you know that?" he mocked as he rose the cup to his lips and took a sip.
And then he heard it: the faint thumping of your heart and your sharp exhale.
"Something wrong, love?" he asked cautiously, placing the cup back on its ceramic plate.
"No just..." you began, blushing furiously "You're really handsome when you work. I mean, you look so focused and all."
Your words came out a mindless babble, causing your boyfriend to smirk.
"Who knew you'd still be so giddy after all this time. You watch me work almost every day"
"Well, you're still as handsome as always so..."
He reached out a hand, motioning you to come closer to him and you closed the distance between you. Jouno swiftly pulled you onto his lap, relishing the way your heart skipped a beat when his arm wrapped around your waist. You were brimming with joy, like a kid in a candy store.
And little did you know that so did Jouno. He didn't want to admit it but he still got flustered when he took notice of the effect he had on you. It was a sweet, gentle reminder that, although your love had matured and changed during the two years you've been together, deep down you still adored him the same way you did at first.
Resting his chin on your shoulder, Jouno went back to typing his report.
"Just stay with me for a while, will you? Tell me if I make any mistakes while writing" he asked in a hushed voice and you nodded in response, adjusting your position on his lap.
'Perfect...' he thought to himself as he placed a kiss on your shoulder. 'This was perfect'
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ratboyvince · 9 months ago
Text
The Magnus Protocol - Glitch theory
In light of the current theory/assumption that in The Magnus Protocol, the audio glitches when the characters lie, I’ve been re listening!! And I’m going to be using this post and others to explore what this means for our beloved characters
The glitches aren’t on the transcript, sometimes there will be a direction like (uncertain) or (unconvincing), but thats the best i can do you for, otherwise you will have to take my word
First though, quick clarifications: what exactly is a lie in this context? - this is fairly obvious but i am including it for the avoidance of any doubt what i have gathered is that, in this theory we are assuming a lie is a character saying something they KNOW is not true in attempt to wilfully deceive someone
It is NOT:
A joke, or sarcasm
Believing something but being wrong
Finally, a lot of the lies i have so far are ones that are known to known to be untrue, what i will do is have a list of the blatant lies SO FAR to make my point, to work as support for the theory on this post then leave out any following ones to avoid making it excessively long.
The rest of them will be under the cut and more on a thread, sorted by episode. If i miss any, feel free to say!!
BLATANT LIES (theory support)
1.
Teddy: Colin was just saying how much of a BLAST he’s having (GLITCH) isn’t that right?
Lena: oh really.
Colin: Aye, sure (GLITCH)
Teddy: And how he’d love to take the after party to the Pub (GLITCH)
2.
Gwen: Sam? You okay?
Sam: um. Yeah. (GLITCH)
3.
Sam: cinnamon swirl. Please. (GLITCH)
4.
Gwen: Wait. Did you get me a coffee?
Sam: yeah. (GLITCH)
5.
Celia: Sorry, sorry, there was an emergency at home (GLITCH)
EPISODES 1-11 (where applicable) UNDER THE CUT
Episode 1
Teddy: Nahh, we’ll stay in touch, right?
Alice: Course…(GLITCH)
Alice either did not intend to keep in touch with Teddy, or genuinely just does not believe they will.
* saying she’ll miss him was NOT a lie, so it’s probably the latter
Episode 3
Sam: right, right i get it. Consider me *scared straight* (GLITCH)
He wasn’t taking Alice seriously, underestimating how serious it actually was (maybe even as light payback for her not taking him seriously)
Episode 5
Lena: I am certain that if he finds his current assignment unmanageable he can request assistance (GLITCH) or resign, of course…
She knows what the deal is with Central IT (whatever “the deal” may be), and just refuses to help. Maybe even sets up a little hostility between Lena and Colin?
Episode 7
Alice: listen, if you need to step out for some air-
Celia: no, I’m fine, really (GLITCH)
Celia was infact, not fine, probably because she recognised Chester’s voice as Jon “The Archivist” Sims himself and she’s freaked out
Episode 8
Gertrude: well I’m…sorry, but I don’t think gerry can help you. (GLITCH)
Gerry: -And then i left
Sam: and that’s all?
Gerry: Yeah I’m afraid so! (GLITCH)
Gertrude and Gerry know more than they’re letting on, and intentionally not sharing.
*Gerry not remembering most of it being true, means that while he’s probably leaving something out, there’s more he genuinely is lost on
Sam: I…may have given you a quick google
Celia: then…yeah. I’m doing a favour for Georgie. (GLITCH)
She Is Not Doing A Favour For Georgie - the research (teleportation, time travel, different universes) is more personal!
Episode 11
Sam: you keep glancing at the door
Alice: ah. It’s nothing (GLITCH)
Alice: it’ll be nothing! I’m just jumpy (GLITCH)
Alice is dismissing her anxiety following the trip to the institute.
Alice: “What have I told you about thinking?“
Sam: ���Don’t.”
Alice: “That’s right.” (GLITCH)
Probably meaning that Alice is starting to doubt her own ideas, but is just pushing that uncertainty away because that’s what she does and she’s still more comfortable in ignorance, even if she doesn’t think it’s exactly RIGHT to ignore.
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shmooooo · 7 months ago
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hi isa <3 really curious on what type of dom you think the exo members are 😻👀
The way you sent this while I was going through my exo album looking for a new profile pic-
exo as doms
pairing: exo x reader (no chen, read my guidelines for info)
genre: smut
warnings: reader has a hand kink (this is very self-indulgent), mentions of degradation, spanking, edging, overstimulation, (aftercare isn’t explicitly mentioned for most of them but just know that all of them would be adamant about taking good care of you after, especially if they were rough)
word count: 851
notes: special thanks to @rose-sereniteeth for helping me! ♡ funny how we struggled with minseok and then in typical fashion his part became one of the longest 💀 i'm not super happy with this but despite having stanned exo for the past seven years, i never quite embraced them like this until somewhat recently so there's still time to figure this out - also reblogs are always appreciated!
~~~~~~
Minseok (Xiumin)
Hard dom. He has rules in place and expects you to follow them. And while he’s sweet outside of the bedroom, during scenes he loves degrading you. He’s also a huge fan of teasing and sometimes he’ll just tease you with light touches (sometimes even with a feather) for hours until you get desperate enough. But if you dare to show your impatience by being a brat, he’ll scold you and either prolong your suffering or give you exactly what you wanted but tenfold until it’s almost too much. Cleanliness and tidiness are also very important to him so I feel like he would make you fold your clothes after undressing and be very adamant about cleaning you up afterwards.
Junmyeon (Suho)
Dom. Honestly ultimate daddy dom. Everything he does is to make you feel good. Whether that is making sure you eat and sleep enough or giving you what you need in the bedroom. He will absolutely spoil you in all aspects of life but in return he expects you to follow the rules you agreed on. And while he is sweet, he’s also very strict when it comes to the rules so you better not break them or he will put you over his knees and make you count.
Yixing (Lay)
Hard dom. Have you seen what he’s like when he’s working? All focused and hot? That’s how I imagine him as a dom. He’s more of a "master" type, especially during punishments. During scenes he acts cold and sometimes even angry with you. He doesn’t smile and when he does, that is absolutely not a good sign since it usually means he will edge or overstimulate you to heaven and back. But during aftercare he does a 180 and becomes very nurturing and caring. 
Baekhyun
Dom. He’s an experimentalist and probably the kinkiest out of the bunch. I absolutely see him owning a toy box with all kinds of stuff in there (mostly for you). He definitely enjoys giving directions and is generally very vocal about what he wants you to do (are we surprised). He will also tease you relentlessly, both verbally and physically - he’ll call you all kinds of degrading names (usually mixed with praise, like “my pretty little whore”) and first edge you until you beg him to let you cum and then overstimulate you until you beg him to stop. Will definitely play innocent after as if he just didn’t take your body apart at the seems. 
Chanyeol
Soft dom. I feel like unless you either fuck up or specifically ask him to be rough, he’ll generally be sweeter and less strict. That doesn’t mean he won’t tease the hell out of you though. He knows you love his hands and he’ll absolutely use that against you. Whether it’s with light touches anywhere but where you actually need him or by giving you orgasm after orgasm with only his fingers because “if you like my hands so much, surely you don’t need my cock” (bastard). But just because he isn’t usually rough with you (both verbally and physically), doesn’t mean you should underestimate him. Question his authority and he will put you in your place. 
Kyungsoo (D.O)
Dom. He’s a soft lover and that usually carries over into the bedroom. He loves spoiling you because he’s a simp at heart but he never lets you forget who’s in control when you’re doing a scene. He’s strict about you following the rules you two have established, and if you don’t, he will definitely make you pay for it. I also don't really see him as a toy guy? Like he has a vibrator and maybe one, two other things but he usually relies on his own body and the vibrator if he wants to make you squirm, something he generally enjoys but especially when he’s punishing you.
Jongin (Kai)
Soft dom. He will absolutely do anything to make you happy and praise non-stop (read: simp - affectionately). Buys you pretty lingerie but he’s too impatient to take it off before fucking you so he usually fucks you with it on. What he does have the patience for though is worshipping every part of your body. He almost has too much patience for that though, so you often end up whining for him to hurry up, which more often than not leads to him shushing you and pushing his fingers into your mouth to shut you up. 
Sehun
Dom. He’s a sweet guy and can absolutely be down for a more light-hearted dynamic with jokes and teasing but once he's in dom mode, he changes. He’s firm and expects you to obey but he also rewards you for listening with praise. I feel like he’s surprisingly vocal during sex. He tells you what he's going to do, what he expects of you, and he wants you to respond too, no matter how fucked out you are. It just brings him great enjoyment to see you struggle to form the words he wants to hear because lbr, he’s a brat even when he doms. 
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