#Waifu Pillow AU
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centuryberry · 2 months ago
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that au reminds me of that one meme lmao;
Wukong: ah yes. Me, my boyfriend, both my ex-wives, my first ex-wife’s new wife, and our shared daughter all in one nest
You’re completely right:
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This is exactly the vibe I’m going for in this AU. Everyone is done with Wukong and his Waifu Pillow.
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asteria7fics · 6 months ago
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Silly south park headcanon time
Kyle owns a bunch of stressballs (Don't know what it's called it's english, sorry) and he hasn't bought any of them himself.
Kyle and Cartman has had an argument that developed into them yelling; " yu-huh!" And "nu-uh!" At each other. They were 17...
Kenny knows how to make balloon animals. No one knows where and when he learned to do that, and Kenny is not telling. Rumors says he doesn't know himself either
Stan can be extremely cheesy when he tries to be romantic. Kyle likes it.
Cartman owns a bodypillow, everyone knows about it, even if Cartman himself denies it. What people don't know is that it isn't of a hot anime girl
Butters doesn't know what a waifu is, and will say it unknowingly of it's meaning
Kyle is horrible awkward at flirting. Somehow still ends up getting together with Stan
Kyle is not allowed on Reddit for obvious reasons
Cartman isn't allowed on reddit for the exact same reason. (But he is anyway)
Stan has horrible fashion sense. He will go dressed as a hobo if he thinks the clothes are comfortable
Stan once wore crogs to a restaurant. He never lived it down
Kenny accidentally gave Butters a weed brownie once. Kenny freaked out, but Butters was supressingly chill
Stan dyed his hair pink once on a dare. He regretted it when he saw the horrible result
Kyle straighten his hair once, it did not look good. Stan vowed to beat up whoever convinced Kyle to straighten his hair, not knowing it was Kyle himself who decided it.
Kenny pinched Butters butt once as way of flirting, but ended up accidentally pinch Craig's butt instead. Don't ask how. Kenny layed low for the rest of the day.
This was fun. Hope you like my silly/goofy headcanons
Whoa, dude! Do you feel better getting all of these off your chest? >ᴗ<
A couple of my quick thoughts on these:
I suppose in my main au Cartman’s pillow would be of Chaeyoung, but I think Justin Timberlake is a very iconic canon option.
Kyle is definitely trash at intentional flirting, but I think he’s one of those people that accidentally flirts with people all the damn time. Unintentional rizz.
He also straightens his hair in one of my fics! (TSOB, specifically) And it was Stan’s idea, the little shit stain. There was definitely a small “dude, would my best friend make a pretty girl?” Internal moment, though I never actually lean into that ehehe.
These were a ton of fun, I love a goofy headcanon that doesn’t really impact a story at all, but adds a little bit of silly realism to a story! These are also pretty spot on, too!
Thank you for sharing, anon! ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
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baconcolacan · 2 years ago
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So we know how stay au Tord reacts to Tom wearing fem clothes (which HAH BOI U TRIPPING-) how regimen Tord react?? Or would he just ignore
R u sure u want that answer
Mans a fucking incel-weeb with a violent obsessive streak. You are offering my poor mans Tom as a living waifu pillow ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT THAT ANSWER ARE YOU SURE-
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monstermaster13 · 3 months ago
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'Look at what this whistleblower did with their time two years ago This..episode, if I could even call it that, is supposed to be portraying anyone who has problems with the producer/director in a negative light. Just look at the genius dialogue here which i'm far too stupid to understand because i only know basic troll speak. It's basically incomprehensible a lot of the time because i don't understand proper english and only know trollish and homestuck speak, but i'm a total jerkass who sucks up to internet troll wannabes so what do i know.' That comment if you could call it that, comes from an obvious psychopathic stalking wannabe who simps way too much over Jade Harley to the point of wanting to be her, heck this guy is a legit killer in the DA-Verse, he pretty much stalked poor jade and tried to make her his bride and then took over her body, he is a stalker and he knows it, he even admitted that nathan was right for saying that it's creepy that the people in the Daloliverse have a cult dedicating to trolling people and extorting, i'm sorry but to the admin who approved of this psychopath, you should have been demoted ages ago, this is him in a nutshell….'oh i'll leave nathan alone since i'm done with him…what's that, he did a hatefic about me and it's obvious he has problems with me, well i'm going to bitch about it to my stupid friends because how dare he do a disgusting incomprensible fic about me being turned into my waifu', might i add this was early 2020, dude he forgot about you after that, you should have moved on, the only truthful thing part is you admitting you're a jerkass who sucks up to a cult of internet troll wannabes which is true, besides it was your fault to begin with, protip - when going around other online universes don't go bragging about being an internet troll wannabe, don't go advertising the site universe you're a part of like it's the trump brand and you're donald trump putting his name on everything, that's ever going to get your ass kicked or you getting permantantely block-spelled from every online universe in general, at least admit you're an asshole and move on, also yes…we know you find it in incomprensible because it's english and you obviously only speak basic internet troll speak or whatever you call the homestuck character's dialogue.
Honestly if I were Andrew Hussie i'd sleep with a gun under my pillow and the lights on just in case this psycho may be lurking under my bed, seriously if all homestuck fans are as horrible as this extreme prick, then i too would be worried for my life. 'oh jade harley how i fantasize about being inside you…i mean i want to be you, babe…i want to see if you have breasts or an egg-cell maker, i know hussie didn't draw breasts on you but i still want to see what you've got underneath your clothes' is all i hear coming from this guy's mouth, also 'false flaggeer', look who's talking, that hate vlog you did in which you got little to no comments and only one person viewed it, and besides, all of your crappy shows and episodes got taken down by the youtube verse by you yourself, don't go blaming nathan for this, youtube doesn't want your nasty homestuck fetish, also 'portraying anyone who has problems with the author in a negative light', i'm sorry but that and the cwc comparison saying that nathan and cwc are one and the same even though nathan makes it clear that he's very offended by the comparison, also incomprehensible, dude…you did a freaking joke au universe that was nothing but casting your tf-universe idols as characters from undertale and homestuck using music and no dialogue and the music didn't even have lyrics, you didn't even use that sans and papapyrus song 'to the bone', for shame, and also for shame on asking about emplemon aka the guy who hates james-a-williams for reviewing 'kids shows' and does meme videos even david lynch would find confusing, and for assuming nathan hates mr metokur just because of him commenting on one video of his, look mr metokur just mentioned him once and that was it, nothing more, nathan only asked for the video to be taken down because he was shocked and embarrassed that metokur even remembered the whole thing to begin with, see above and also you were a freaking stalker, admit it, i'm sorry but do you even understand why nathan had videos that were supposed to be mocking him taken down, because those were originally videos of his that were on his old account but he deleted them and some stupid people pretty much stole…i mean mirrored them to try and get lulz, besides i already talked about the mr metokur issue, and that video got taken down, they weren't criticizing him, they were mocking him, then again it's a good thing you went mia in 2021 because frankly i hated your guts, no i'm not going to do a 'revenge-fic' about you, i'm just saying you need to get a grip and realize that jade harley will never want you, besides…jade likes the kind of man that is unattractive but gets a lot of women anyway.
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leggerefiore · 2 years ago
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I created an AU i just think of, its called Reverse Reality Au
-where instead of Emmet and Ingo being a digital character, the reader is the digital character instead
-pokemon still don't exist in the real world and only exist in the game
-reader is a popular character that is the twins #1 fav
-they constantly swooning over readers chareacter design and personality
-Emmet away squeal when reader speal on the screen, he collect merches, figurines and plush of them, he is a y/n stan and will fight anyone that talk shit about them
-Ingo is the more calmer brother ofc, he may look neutral when they pop up on the screen but hes absolutely swooning, also writes a ton of fanfics and headcanons about reader and then post on his Tumblr account (don't look up his browser history tho cus you gonna find alot of y/n smut related searches)
-these two be owning a body pillows of them istg
---call me 👾 anon
anon
anon
the only thought that came into my head is Emmet throwing a fit over his anime waifu and going insane with me merch. so the body pillow is his lmao
ingo would be the guy that quietly looks art and fics tbh, he's ashamed he's that way. he pretends he has no information of the media s/o is from. shame too deep, rip soft husband man😔
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amor-immortalem · 3 years ago
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An Alternate Path
Genre: Angst
A/N: Originally this was supposed to be a two-part mini fic but people asked about a part three. I wasn’t sure where else to exactly go from there since the end of the second part felt so final for me. But then, inspired by a comment on the 2nd part, I began to think about how it would have gone if Arella hadn’t been revived with Mammon’s blood. Think of this as the bad end to the AU. This is the final part.
obviously spoilers for the lesson 16 incident and for lesson 50 (i think… correct me if Im wrong)
Replaced part 1
The Good/True End
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He sits in his room starting at the dried blood on his hands, heart aching from the loss of his mate. It had only been mere hours since Barbatos had taken her body to prepare for funeral rites but to the Avatar of Greed, it had felt like centuries. Why? He’s asked himself this question over and over. Why didn’t you check on her sooner? Why didn’t you call or text? Why didn’t you notice? Why didn’t you feel something was wrong through your pact?
As much as he wants to, Mammon has no more tears left to cry. His human is gone, never to return and it was the fault of him and his brother. He should have been there sooner. Should have reminded her how much he cared. Should have done a lot of things. He had every opportunity to, but he squandered all of it.
He rakes his hands through his hair as they whys replay in his head. The demon doesn’t have an answer for them- none that would satisfy them, at least. He lets out a yell as grief turns to rage and nothing of value is spared from his violence. Items and trinkets knock from their shelves, furniture overturned, by time the second-born was done, his room looked like a war zone.
It’s only then that Mammon collapses to his knees and lets out a broken wail as he can hear the restless cawing of his crows outside.
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Levi is alone in his room, having shut himself away hours ago. Laying in his bathtub bed, the Avatar of Envy loses himself to his thoughts and the view of the water above him. He can’t help but think about what would have happened if he had put his foot down when Asmo approached him to recruit him in helping his little matchmaking plan for Melissa and Satan.
And then his thoughts focus in on the other human. If she had never come, if they had never welcomed her into their lives through the exchange programme... Arella would still be alive. She’d still be sitting here, playing video games and helping him decide which anime he should choose to watch when there was a conflict of time slots. They’d still be talking about their Husbandos and Waifus just as they always had. But she’s not here. She never will be anymore. All because he didn’t have the spine to act like the older brother and tell Asmo no. Because he allowed his younger brother to monopolize his time.
His best friend is gone and he was part of the problem that led up to that. Levi has never felt so much self-hatred before and, just like with Lilith, he doesn’t know how to come to terms with the loss of another person so dear to him. For now, he’ll just lay here and waste away like the filthy, yucky otaku he is, wishing there was a way he could go back and undo it all or hoping that this was all just some horrible nightmare that his brain has conjured up.
“She’ll be back in the morning... right? She’s just sleeping over at the castle, right?!”
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Beel just eats. He eats and eats and eats to make the pain go away but just like his endless hunger, the pain never stops. He feels so empty inside that the only other option is to gorge himself until he physically can’t hold it anymore and vomits before he goes back for more until the cycle repeats and he runs out of food. The loss of their favorite human is killing him now- the grief of it squeezing his heart like an anaconda.
If he would have just gone to invite her to that new café she had wanted to visit with him only an hour sooner, this could have been stopped. But he didn’t. He didn’t and that’s what cuts deepest. He should have noticed when she stopped coming to dinner, or skipping breakfast, or not joining the student council for lunch day after day. He should have realized something was wrong then. But he chose to ignore it, thinking it was just one of those ‘moods’ Arella had told him about human women experiencing at certain times of the month. He thought he was helping by giving her space these last few weeks but Beel knows now that he was dead wrong.
Who would be his food buddy now? Who would let him drag them all over town in order to try out restaurant after restaurant, café and café? Sure, he had Belphie to take with him but his younger twin never really showed the same excitement when it came to trying out all the different food and drink options on the menu. The demon doesn’t realize he’s crying until the tear drops hit his hands. She only needed one of them to take a moment to see her and none of them could be bothered do just that.
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Belphegor only wants to sleep. He wants to sleep and never wake up again. In his dreams is where Arella is, happy, smiling, laughing. That laugh will haunt his waking moments forever as he realizes that for the second time, the Avatar of Sloth has caused her death. Belphie was only one of two brothers who rejected Asmo when they asked him to help with that damn plan of his. It had been too long since he and Arella had napped together after school or plotted something with Satan as part of the Anti-Lucifer league. How he missed those days.
He can feel the tears pool in his eyes as he curls up into a ball on the bed in the attic. He wonders if he had just stayed up here forever instead of trying to trick Arella into setting him free, would this hole in his chest disappear? As he buries his face into the body pillow Arella had gifted him for his birthday this year, he cries himself to sleep- indulges himself in all the good memories they had made together after she had forgiven him for everything he had done to her.
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Asmodeus is lost. They stare and stare at their skincare products trying to will themself to start their nightly skincare routine. How could they have been so foolish? The passage of time is so different to humans than it is to demons. They had only meant to take a month to match Satan and Melissa up so how had it turned to eleven already?! The Avatar of Lust wants to scream. Both at themself and no one at all. Hot tears still sting their eyes as they shapeshift. They change and they change and they change forms- any number of features forming and then shifting away as they try to find a look that they won’t recognize themself in but it doesn’t work. Asmo’s not able to look themself in the mirror for the rest of the night as they just crash down on their bed. They want to mark up their beautiful body into some hideous to match the feelings crushing their heart. Asmo wants to do something- anything- to themself to experience even a fraction of the pain Arella must have felt but all the demon feels now is just hollowness.
Their phone is vibrating on the bed next to them- a call from Solomon. No doubt he could feel Asmo’s distress through the pact they share but the Avatar of Lust is too tired from hours of ugly crying and most certainly not in the mood to speak to anyone- pact master or otherwise. The phone goes unanswered.
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Satan has his head buried in the books. He’s been at this for hours- there must be a way to bring her back to them! Melissa is with him, bringing whatever books he asks for in his search as she too is eager to bring the lost human back to this plane of existence. There was so much they wanted to do with her. From watching cheesy mystery dramas together to forming a small book club consisting of just the three of them, none of that would come to pass now.
As book after book turns up dead ends, the demon just buries his head in his hands. It feels pointless now. Who was he to play God with life and death? The thought of never seeing his friend alive once more is enough to break the Avatar of Wrath as his shoulders shake with violent sobs. He wants to go on a rampage- destroy the whole city but what would that fix? It certainly wouldn’t bring her back.
As the demon continues to cry, Melissa only wraps her arms around him and he returns the gesture. She runs her fingers through his blonde hair in an effort to calm him and it seems to work, if only for a little while. She pulls a chair up to sit next to him as she holds his hand in hers.
“Tell me about your favorite memories with her,” They girl begins, “We can’t undo what was done, but we can keep her memory alive by sharing the good times.”
And so, they talk late into the night, Satan smiling at all the memories of Arella that he holds close to his heart.
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“Hi this is Arella! I’m sorry I can’t get to the phone right now but leave a message after the beep.... Beeeeeeeeeep”
The sound of his brother’s laughter followed by Mammon calling Arella a dork in the background can be heard at the end of the greeting on her D.D.D.’s voicemail. The Avatar of Pride can only smile with tear-stained cheeks. He was beyond intoxicated, having just finished his fourth bottle of demonus for the night. He can feel the anguish his brothers have been going through all night and it only makes his sorrow deeper.
When Arella first arrived, all Lucifer cared about was keeping her alive long enough to make it through the year. She was unimportant to him outside of the viability of the exchange programme. Back then, he would have laughed at himself for the state he was in currently. She was just a human. Why did it matter if she lived or died if it didn’t affect the exchange programme?
But she wasn’t just a human. She was their human. She was special to him. And now she was gone. There was no second chance. There would be no merging of timelines to keep her alive. Fate was cruel, but sometimes Diavolo could be crueler.
Lucifer knew his longtime friend had a reason for this. He was teaching the brothers a lesson with her death. As much as it hurt now to lose another part of this family, things would get easier as the years went on regardless of how horribly they all would miss her. This was a lesson he and his brothers would not soon forget.
Cracking open his fifth bottle of demonus, the first-born scrolls through devilgram, saving pictures on her profile to be used in the memorial service. One of Arella with each of his brothers and himself and multiple pictures she’d taken with all eight of them from their adventures throughout the years that they’d all been together.
He lets his mind wander back over the last eleven months. All the red flags he had missed with his rose-colored glasses. They all made sense to him now. All the time she spent isolating herself from them, skipping meals, leaving either incredibly early for school or incredibly late for school. She was trying to get them to notice her over Melissa. He regrets their last interaction from a few months back. The way there had clearly been something wrong, yet he chose to lecture her about attending RAD on time as to not disgrace Diavolo. How he wishes he could take it back.
As the only brother save for Belphegor not conscripted to help Asmo in his ridiculous plan, Lucifer should have been the first to reach out to her. He may have been buried under paperwork, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t just sit and talk while he worked. He regrets not calling or checking up on her.
A video plays on her devilgram. It was from one of the nights they had spent up in the human world last summer.
“Awww, come one, Lucifer. It won’t be that bad. We’ll have those flowers from the fairy rings and make it back in one piece. I promise to keep Mammon under control so we won’t cause any trouble.”
The Avatar of Pride clicks out of the app as he feels more tears gather in his eyes. He can’t do this right now. Not tonight.
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Her service was beautiful- Or at least that’s what Lucifer tells Mammon as he and the rest of their brothers return home. Mammon wanted to go, he really did, but with it only being a few days removed from her death, the second-born couldn’t bring himself to go. It wasn’t because he didn’t love her or didn’t want to celebrate his mate’s life but it was still far too painful for him.
Part of him was still in denial over it too. Somehow, he’d managed to convince himself that she wasn’t gone. She was just stuck up in the human world and had forgotten her D.D.D here so he couldn’t call her. The logical side of him knew it wasn’t the case and every time he was reminded of it, it threw the Avatar of Greed into a deeper pit of despair. He’d spent some nights since she’d passed alone, crying himself to sleep begging for his human to come back to him others he would just lie awake, tracing over where her mark from their pact had been etched into his chest, set right over his heart.
Suddenly years have gone by now. His brothers have made peace with her passing but Mammon cannot. Visiting her grave never helps to ease the pain either, but still he goes. If Arella’s spirit still lingers, no doubt she would be upset if he didn’t go. It would only serve to prove her dying thoughts true when they couldn’t have been further from the truth.
“Hey, Treasure... Miss me?” There’s no one here but Mammon and a tombstone. “I miss you... everyday... So much changes every year... Both Asmo, Levi, ‘n Satan got kids now... little girls for them and Levi has a boy...” He pauses to take a shuddering breath as the cold wind blows. “Can ya believe it? The first kids born ta this family and their both girls and then we got a boy... sweet little things too- alla ‘em.  I wish ya coulda been there ta meet them... Actually, looking at my brothers with their kids, it makes me wonder what ours woulda been like, ya know? And I wish none of this woulda happened... you deserved so much better than me ‘n I knew that. We all knew that. But ya chose me anyway and look where it got ya... Six feet under... If I could go back and do it all over again I would. I woulda told ya what was goin’ on. I woulda spent more time with ya. I woulda... woulda proposed... made sure you knew how much I loved ya everyday... I know ya probably can’t hear me, but I’m so sorry... for everything! I love you so much that I can’t move on and I won’t. If I die single then that’s fine by me.”
As he cries, thinking he’s alone, Arella watches from her seat on her tombstone. None of the brothers knew it but she’d been watching all this time. It wasn’t until she passed that she realized how deep their feelings ran and part of her wishes she would have waited just a bit longer before leaving for the human world that night.
She tries her best to let them know she’s there- that she loves them and is watching over them with Lilith, but she’s not strong enough to do more than move small objects around. She hopes that they’d notice but they never do.
As she hops off of her tombstone, Arella crouches down next to her mate. The best she can do for him is conjure a warm breeze as her spirit leans over to press a kiss that he’ll never feel to his cheek. Upon the breeze, he can hear a soft whisper of a reply.
“I love you too.”
And it's that reply that reassures him she’s there and she always will be. He hopes maybe in another life they’ll meet again and get to have the happy ending they never got to have in this one.
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taglist: @gayassfuckinghomosexual @joyvlee
find more on my masterlist
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duskariesrye · 3 years ago
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*chews* mhm wow great content thank you tha k you
quotes are randomly generated from >here<
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me @ snazz: <3 i’m joking i promise
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i got this quote and knew immediately who needed to say it.
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give her time she’s still adjusting to modern day stuff
@holyfandomsnazz​
@swimyghost​
@wickedhellagoodtime​
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lady-of-disdain · 4 years ago
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If this isn’t the scummiest example of bullshit Gatekeeping I’ve ever seen.
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I’m not wasting my time posting the entire thing, because the idiotic article misses the whole ass point of people who don’t accept Yashahime as canon.
Let me be clear: YOU CAN ABSOLUTELY IGNORE YASHAHIME AS CANON AND STILL BE AN INUYASHA FAN! Don’t let some jackass who likes to pretend he’s an authority on anything except pleasing himself with his waifu body pillow tell you otherwise.
If Avatar the Last Airbender fans can ignore the movie and graphic novels, we can ignore HNY.
If Harry Potter fans can pretend JK Rowling doesn’t exist, and say “Prologue, what prologue?” we can pretend Rumiko Takahashi doesn’t exist and  say “Sequel, what sequel?”
If the Undertale fandom can take one of the shortest, most seemingly simple games and turn it into one of the largest sprawling, AU spanning multiverses with multiple different versions of “canon”, then what’s stopping the Inuyasha fandom?
And don’t even get me started on Disney canon vs Expanded universe canon in the Star Wars fandom.
Don’t you fucking even D A R E try to police what the fandom at large wants to consider canon or not.
Basically OfficialDumbass can choke on a cactus.
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centuryberry · 2 months ago
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I will sell you my soul and give you the last remaining 3 cents to my name if you expand on the waifu pillow au, I beg of you
Please tell me he shows up to the birthday banquet with his waifu bride, I *need* to know the reactions to that lmao
(Snatches the soul plus 3 cents) Ok, deal. I'll expand on this crack au. Lemme tell you that this AU is going to be so unserious.
Also, the pillow has she/her pronouns now.
Waifu Pillow is regarded with confusion at first. Maybe with some indignation at the obvious insult. No one knows what to do with "her" so they kind of shove her into a closet and forget about her
Macaque returns and is filled in on the hilarious turn of events and he joins in on the laughing and ribbing. He never lets his king live it down. The Waifu Pillow remains in the closet
RinRin, Shanzha, and Yue reach FFM at some point. Iceflower are married and Yue is significantly less stressed. Skipping over the meeting/reunion and the trio settling into FFM life, Yue explores and comes upon the Waifu Pillow
Yue recognizes the Waifu Pillow. RinRin and Shanzha recognize the Waifu Pillow too and they put the pieces together about who Shanzha's mystery ex-husband-to-be is and laugh about it to Wukong later
RinRin, cackling: You kept the pillow! Wukong: Not on purpose! I thought we threw it away! RinRin: I can't believe you kept the pillow!
Since the pillows were technically Yue's, she takes the Waifu Pillow with her into Wukong's nest when she sleeps with her parental quartet. It's a little awkward for Wukong and Macaque. Meanwhile, Shanzha and RinRin are rolling with laughter
After a few nights with the Waifu Pillow, Wukong curiously gives it a squeeze to see if it's actually as comfy as Yue is making it seem
Oh my god, it was actually super comfy
At some point, Shadowpeach happens and...Wukong takes the pillow with him
Macaque: ...Really? Wukong: (clutching the Waifu Pillow tightly) We're a package deal
Macaque is fondly exasperated and accepts the Waifu Pillow into their bed. He even steals her from Wukong from time to time since she really is super comfy
The Waifu Pillow unironically becomes the Queen. Wukong leans into the bit by bringing her everywhere and putting pretty dresses on her. The Waifu Pillow becomes something like Little Sebastian or Mayor Max II of FFM. The monkeys love her
FFM: the most unserious kingdom ever
The Brotherhood are stupified at the Waifu Pillow's existence. It kind of derails the whole love potion/poisoning incident because everyone is too shocked to do anything
Princess Iron Fan thinks the Waifu Pillow thing is super immature but when she sees how the Brotherhood are reacting to this, she quickly changes to the Waifu Pillow camp
PIF (to the Waifu Pillow): You and Mihou have unfortunate tastes in men. Good luck being married to the oaf DBK, joining his wife without missing a beat: Welcome to the family, Sister Brotherhood: (confused noises)
When the banquet invitation rolls around, Wukong brings the Waifu Pillow with the biggest shit-eating grin. When the celestials realize what happened, they're all practically begging Wukong to not consider the marriage seriously. They get it. They messed up. Please stop.
Jade Emperor: Wukong. Wukong please stop calling the pillow your wife. I'll literally give you all my worldly possessions if you stop calling it your wife. Please. Wukong (clutching onto the Waifu Pillow): You're just jealous that you'll never have what we have.
Wukong finagles a couple of immortal peaches and bottles of immortal wines before he accepts the annulment. He flies away into the sunset with the ExWaifu Pillow and his bartered goods while the entire Celestial Court has their head in their hands
Wukong becomes the first ever person to be legally married to a body pillow. I mean, he gets the annulment, but he was still married to a body pillow
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Note
Chloé in early Panthera Noire au: I'm getting my not-quite-adopted brother a body pillow of his irl waifu as a commission from the girl who's hard crushing on him, just to ruin both of their days
Chloé in current PN au: This is my emotional support therapist catgirl body pillow that I hug every day. I used to have a crush on the girl in the picture but now she's essentially my mom.
Character development 
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tokyogirlylove · 5 years ago
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Hey umm 👉🏽👈🏽 I know you guys are not here for that I swear I'm working on the AU but I kinda wanted to show you some of my doodles? I made some South Park love childs? I kinda want to do something with it in the future but probably not on this blog
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Noa (15) and Abby (10) Marsh-Broflovski
When Stan and Kyle got married they decided to mix their family names together.
Noa: He's a goth, but doesn't necessarily hang out with other goths and prefer his friend group (Sophia, Cassia and Violet). He likes to act serious but is actually super nice, especially to his sister
Abby: She's kind of a crybaby, she's afraid of everything and is ALWAYS in her dads' arms or Noa's. She has a bunny plushie from her best friend (Basil) that she carry at school. She's Stan's princess.
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Sophia (15) Testaburger and Susan (17) Turner
Cartman got married with Wendy and she insisted on keeping her name. When they had Sophia they gave her Testaburger. When Sophia turned 14, he discovered he has an older daughter, Susan, he had with Heidi before getting married.
Sophia: She had been raised like she's the most important person in the world. She ALWAYS get what she wants and everyone at school is scared of her. She's the scariest feminist, and social justice warrior in the whole town, ans crush her enemies with her bare hands.
Susan: She's really calm and the whole opposite to Sophia when it comes to their personalities. Sophia hates her and that saddens her a LOT. She feels rejected by her sister and even tho Cartman loves her, she feels like she can never be part of his life.
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Cassia, Violet (15) and Basil (10) Mccormick
When they got married, Butters cut his parents completely out of his life and choose Kenny's name. He was scared his parents might do to his eventual children what they did to him. The Mccormick kids were raised with extreme love and CARE for familyhood, to offer them what Leo and Kenny never had
Cassia and Violet: Very popular at school, everybody loves them, they're pretty, extremely nice, caring and always smiling. BUT they might have been raised by Mysterion, but they got raised by Professor Chaos too. They can be PITYLESS and HARSH when they want. If they wanted, they could be the biggest villains of the town and have everybody at their feet. That's why they're super close to Sophia.
Basil: À pure angel! He's FASCINATED by everything, super curious and adventurous. His sisters love him to DEATH and is always found pampered and cuddled by them. He's his sisters' biggest treasure.
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Cosmo (17), Orion (15) and Nova (10) Tucker
Cosmo: He got anxiety from Tweek which gives him massif anxiety attacks most of the time. You can find him staring intensity at a wall, that means he's having an attack. Tweek blamed himself for years and because of that, Cosmo tries to act tough and neutral like Craig for his parents and his siblings.
Orion: He's a fucking WEEB. His room looks like comic con, he even has these damns hug pillow with his waifus on them. Craig HATES it and think his son is a looser, but as long as he's not into YAOI he can deal with it. He did try to disown him once when Orion showed his preference for bunnies instead of Guinea pigs. Orion has 0 interest in real girls and spend his days drooling over his waifus. Yes he likes Hentai.
Nova: She's a Lil shit. She's exactly like Craig's sister to which Tweek pointed it out once (Craig: How DARE you compare my DAUGHTER to that piece of shit). She always try to annoy the shit out of Orion and steal his fake katanas when he's not here. She makes fun of his passion ALL the time.
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Lucas (15) Black
Lucas: He's SO shy and awkward all the time. He's Orion's best friend and is the best student in school. Always have the best grades, he feels like he needs to push himself all the time for his Dad, and to be worthy of his heritage, even tho Token keeps telling him that he doesn't need to prove himself and just be a teenager. His shyness FRUSTRATE Clyde because he was the total opposite when he was a kid, and Token keeps scolding Clyde about it. He also have a MASSIVE crush on Violet Mccormick.
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mwolf0epsilon · 4 years ago
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Okay so, for that still human au(? Welp, Shawn (this is the desing of my "monster" Shawn so) being a Human Voodoo doll Human Waifu pillow, things like nose and ears look like stitched, permanent crocked smile.. basically a ragdoll but creppier(? Allidon dosn't change so much, just a painful headche because of horns, Sammy is well, still coverd in Ink and haves a constatly im-gonna-choke thing, Susie feels pain because, the halo incrusted on her head, wings (im talking about the sketch of Joey's desk, lovely desing) and her face melting. Same with Jack. Thomas and Wally feel pain when they move their ears, and Thomas haves his right had with, probably any painful infection but still dosn't want to lost his arm, Buddy well, dead on da table. Lacie probably with a lot of nails and gears in her skin, Grant probably just, cant even get up of the floor. Joey isnt happy being the ink demon ;). Im out of characters
It's like a Henry saves everyone AU but Henry somehow managed to get the reversing of the ink affects wrong and people got stuck between ink abomination and human.
Everyone is going to need so much therapy...
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moonstomars · 4 years ago
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In a modern au, is Monspeet considering Deri as kinda his waifu ? I mean, i can totally see him hugging a body pillow with Derieri face on it ... Yeah wried ask i know, sorry...
Hello Anon! Thanks for the ask! 
Don’t worry, it’s not a weird ask! I admit I don’t really see Monspeet considering Derieri his waifu, he is way too sophisticated for that. I think he would respect her without idolizing her. 
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littlemisskookie · 6 years ago
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Loveless: Chapter 5
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Loveless: Index Ship: Reader | OT7 Description: Spy/Men in Black!AU | You worked at an institution that dealt with aliens- aliens that were the fictional creatures we were told were from fairy tales. The job entailed love only for it, and nothing else. That’d all change when a mission goes wrong. Warnings: Smut!! Finally!, Sub/Dom Themes, Choking, Hair Pulling, Rough Sex, Oral, Fingering, Spanking, Pussy Spanking, Slapping, Dirty Talk, Sir!Kink, Degrading Names, Intercourse, Comedy Word Count: 5,652
"Dang, now I wish that I was the one who waited in the car."
"Taehyung did, too, you idiot. You don't see him getting laid, now do you?"
"Guys I'm right here."
You opened your eyes, blinking as you tried to get used to the light. You were faintly aware of the body you were pressed against you, your form hugging Namjoon's, who was still in a deep sleep, soft snores escaping his parted lips. Surrounding your bed were six men.
Your vision cleared, seeing a few of them scruffed up, with bandages or wounds, but nevertheless alive.
"Oh my god!" you exclaimed, jumping from Namjoon's side to hug the men, wrapping your arms around each as you cradled their faces and examined their wounds, a rush of relief and happiness filling you. "I'm so glad you're ok! I was so worried and I tried to convince Agent B and V to go back because I didn't want to abandon you and I didn't know if you were alive and I- fuck, I'm just really relieved."
You wrapped your arms tightly around Jungkook at that moment, turning back to examine his face. "How's the leg?" you question, your thumb brushing over his busted lip. It wasn't much, just a bit of a cut, and he's had worse, but you couldn't help but fret.
Jungkook simply chuckled. "Good as new. Jin snuck me into one of the medical centers and got it taken care of."
You should've figured. Bullets were nothing for someone as brilliant as Jin, and you had no doubt he'd be able to fix all the scrapes and cuts you eight had gotten once you settle in. 
Namjoon coughed from behind you, seemingly awake from when you had gotten up. "Er, Y/N, I'm sorry to tell you this but I think you ought to get back into the covers."
"What?" You look down, realizing you're still in the panties and shirt you had slept in the night before. You hadn't thought of it last night, simply grabbing clothes that were prepared in the drawers, and you didn't even think of it when you went to Namjoon's room or talked to Taehyung, seeing as it was dark and everyone was too tired to realize.
You dive back under the covers, your face red, slowly realizing what the conversation earlier was about. "Uh, that wasn't what it looked like. Nothing happened last night."
"Sure about that? I know Agent B here can be quite the perv when he feels like it," Hoseok comments, hitting Namjoon lightly on the shoulder.
Namjoon scowls, red-faced as well. "Uh-huh, sure. Seriously, she just couldn't sleep last night, so-"
"You kept her occupied?" Jimin snickered.
"Helped tire her out?" Jungkook joined in.
"No, trust me, nothing happened. I know from my mission with Agent B in Columbia that he doesn't exactly know how to keep quiet," Taehyung assures everyone.
"As if you were any better in Australia!"
"Look, I had a crush on Ariel when I was younger. What else was I supposed to do when I was face to face with a mermaid? Not fulfill my fifth-grade fantasies?"
"You jacked off to The Little Mermaid when you were ten?" Yoongi questioned.
"Actually now that I think about it, it was Ursala. But I didn't come across any squid ladies in Australia," Taehyung corrected himself. "And no, I didn't jack off to a Disney movie!"
"And all this time I thought Jimin was the one with the tentacle fetish," you whisper to yourself.
"I do not have a tentacle fetish!" Jimin fired back.
"I saw the anime girl body pillow, Jimin. I know you watched tentacle porn."
"Everyone's watched it! It's just one of those things you look at out of curiosity. Kind of like 'Why do people get turned on by this?' the same way you wonder how someone finds feet or pissing sexy. It was a one-time thing and I didn't get a boner from it. Also, you keep Jabami Yumeko out of this!"
"Literally everyone in Kakegurui is gay, idiot," you say, rolling your eyes. "She even wears the lesbian ring."
"What's a lesbian ring?" Jungkook asked.
"If a woman wears a ring on her thumb she's gay."
"I don't think her wearing a thumb ring makes her a lesbian," Jimin cut in.
"Yeah it does, look it up!" You huff, shaking your head. "The whole point of that show is gambling lesbians."
"Man, you guys are weebs," Hoseok grumbles under his breath.
"Whatever, she's hot, ok?" Jimin rolled his eyes.
"You're just saying that because of that one scene where she acts like a cat," Taehyung cuts in.
"Dear god, not you too." Hoseok facepalms.
"That scene was pretty hot. Not that I'm a furry or anything," you admit.
"GUYS!"
Everyone turns to Yoongi, his gaze burning as he glares at everyone. He pulls out a thick stack of paper, tossing it onto the bed. "If everyone here is done talking about the newest 'waifu' or whatever it is you losers call it, I think it'd be best to discuss what we've brought back from the agency. More accurately, stolen."
You pick up the first piece of paper, furrowing your brows. "Yoongi, what are these?"
"Your medical records. AKA test results."
-
It was a weird sight, seeing eight people sitting on the ground, surrounding a coffee table, paperwork covering every inch of surface area. One might think it was a college study group. But no, each letter contributed to describing the torture and pain you went through during the experimentations, detailing your DNA and comparing past records. It described everything from the new strains caused by whatever had been injected into you to the consistency of your discharge. You had to give it to the EAA bastards- they were thorough.
You were in the middle of wondering when they held a ruler up to your vagina to measure it in centimeters when Namjoon cuts in. "At least we can confirm what had happened that night. It appears here that Jashwi injected her own DNA into Y/N."
"Like her own venom or something? Did she infect her like a vampire?" Jungkook pondered. "Like Twilight?"
"I don't think so." Hoseok shook his head, glowering down at the paper in his hand. "If that were the case she'd be fully changed into one of them. She's still human, but it does appear that she's slowly changing. Or at least a part of her is. Kind of like combining if that makes sense?"
"Is that why she doesn't seem to be getting any better?" Jin held up a particular document, though you didn't bother trying to strain your eyes to read the tiny print from a distance. "According to these, they tried to revert her and cure her with anything they had. She didn't seem to benefit from any nutriment, from food to medicine."
"Maybe it's because they're looking at it from a human perspective," Yoongi wondered aloud. "You said before she was changing, or at least a part of her has. What if what changed, or at least one of the things, was what she fed on?"
"Well, she doesn't seem to feed on food. So the bright side at least is that we have more rations for ourselves," Jin shrugged.
You socked him in the arm. "Gee, that's one way to look at it, asshole."
"What? We've got to be optimistic!"
"We have to remember everything Jashwi told us about her people. About the Anancites," Namjoon hums. "Does anyone remember any information that might be useful?"
"She's a scientist who used to rule her planet apparently. And her boyband was called a rapture," Taehyung offered. "Oh, and they shared a telepathic bond. Apparently."
"They're able to manipulate elements and have powers. Jashwi possessed the power of water, so if you're going to get any superpowers, Y/N, it'll probably be that." Jimin smiled at the thought. "Hey, you'll be like an avatar!"
"I don't think I have the strength in me to even walk down the block, much less bend water," you tell him truthfully.
"Anything on feeding?" Namjoon questioned.
"She said it was mutually beneficial for both parties. So I doubt it'd be anything like cannibalism or sucking blood. We can rule vampire out," Hoseok offered.
"What if we look through the documents and see if they list any similarities between the newly injected DNA and a species we're familiar with?" you questioned.
"Brilliant!" Namjoon fished through some of them, but it turned out to be Taehyung who found the right sheet of paper. 
Taehyung analyzed the information, taking it in as he tried to decipher it. He was an engineer, not a biologist by any means. "Ok, I think this is it. I'll look for what's the most similar. She's definitely not a mermaid, but if she is able to bend water that would be close enough, in my opinion."
"Negative towards any ghosts. That includes poltergeists, ghouls, and banshees. Same for anything of the fairy clans. Rules out gnomes, pixies, elves, dwarves, and whatever tiny freaks you can think of," Jungkook continued, leaning over to examine the paper from behind Taehyung's shoulder.
"Skip to what seems closest, why don't you?" Yoongi inquired.
"Closest seems to be the succubi and incubi. Sirens are close as well." Taehyung's brow furrowed. "But the Anancites didn't look anything like those..."
"I think you've got to look at what seems similar. What do they all share in common?" Hoseok asked. 
Silence consumed the room. Everyone thought the same thing, but no one wanted to say it.
"Sex," you say. "It's obvious. The succubi and incubi feed off of sexual energy and having sex with humans. Sirens sing to sailors about love and sex to draw them to kill themselves."
"But none of those species benefit the other when they're feeding." Namjoon wore a puzzled look on his face, as though trying to wrap his head around the idea. "The sex demons feed off the humans and take their energy from them, and sirens eat the dead bodies of the sailors who jumped overboard."
"That's why the Anancite DNA isn't completely similar, perhaps. There are small differences. Besides, sex typically, or at least should be, beneficial for both parties," you offered.
"Wait let me get this straight," Jimin said, pausing. "You're trying to say that instead of feeding off of food or blood, there's a possibility you feed off of... sex?"
Your face turned red. "I mean, this is a whole new species, Agent P. We're lucky it's even something that is... obtainable. Besides, I never said that, but it's a possibility. And a high one, at that. You never know until you try."
There's another moment of silence. At that moment you wanted to die.
"So... one of us will have to have sex with you, is that it?" Hoseok questioned.
"Don't say it like it's going to be a burden!" you snap.
"I don't know, you're pretty bony right now. You'll probably poke one of us in the eye," Yoongi chuckled.
"I'm not going to elbow anyone doing doggy style, you absolute twat," you fired back.
"Wait, so we're seriously going to do this?" Jungkook questioned, his eyes wide as he looked about the room.
"I mean no one's running a train on her or anything. Not yet," Jimin joked. "But from the looks of it... yeah. I doubt we'll just be able to walk out and get her a guy. It'll have to be one of us."
"Why don't we ask her then?" Taehyung looked over to you, and at that moment you realized you had to answer.
"Oh, ok, so... Fuck, it's weird with all of you staring at me!" You made eye contact with each man, their gazes pinned on you. "Look, to put it lightly I wouldn't mind it being anyone. I like all of you equally, as friends and... in an attractive way. I'm not opposed to anyone, so..." You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks, and you buried your face in your hands, embarrassed by your confession.
"Alright... That's good to know," Namjoon said, coughing awkwardly.
"Alright? Dude she said she wanted all of us to nail her!" Jimin whisper joked.
"Not at the same time, idiot!" You tossed some papers over to him but were unable to stay mad at him for long, despite his ribbing.
"You sure that wouldn't be weird for you or anything? Like, sleeping with a coworker?" Jungkook questioned.
"Former coworker. And no, I slept with Jimin," you answered.
"You too?" Taehyung offered a hand, and you high fived him.
"Wait, what the fuck?" Jin questioned, eyes bugging out of his head. "You both slept with Jimin?"
"Technically three," Yoongi offered, raising his hand slightly. 
"Wait, who here has slept with Jimin?" Hoseok questioned, having you, Taehyung, and Yoongi raise your hands.
"Guys, can we not reveal my sexual exploits?" Jimin whined, face beet red.
"You deserve it, asshole," you tease, sticking your tongue out. 
"Where'd you do it?" Taehyung asked, his eyes glimmering with questions.
"Office, over the desk. You?"
"I was drunk so it was behind the bar. Not bad, though."
"Nice," you offered, nodding as you turned to Yoongi. "And you, Agent Dick?"
"Uh, I don't kiss and tell," Yoongi grunts.
"Thank you!" Jimin lets out a rush of relief, a sigh escaping his lips as he prayed for you and Taehyung to quit oversharing.
"Sure thing, bottom," Yoongi responded.
"He was a bottom for you?" you and Taehyung questioned in unison, shocked.
"Ok, enough about Jimin whoring himself out to everyone in the agency," Hoseok interrupted. "Aren't we supposed to talk about... er... Y/N?"
It was silent again.
"Alright, I'm going to go to my room for a bit because I think this is a decision you guys should make on your own. I have a feeling it'll be even weirder if I'm here, and I know I won't be able to make the decision. Seriously, though, I'm completely cool with whoever, so surprise me or whatever. It's not weird unless we make it weird, right? I'll let you guys decide amongst yourselves. Surprise me!"
You departed, leaving the boys to themselves.
"So... I guess we should ask first if anyone doesn't want to..." Namjoon trailed off.
"Sleep with Y/N?" Yoongi offered bluntly.
"Er- yeah," Namjoon coughed awkwardly. There was no show of hands, and he only sighed. "Guess that doesn't make anything easier. Figured."
"Wouldn't the logical choice be Jimin if they already had sex?" Hoseok questioned. "They already had sex, that would make her more comfortable with it, wouldn't it?"
"Things got a little awkward afterward," Jimin admitted. "We survived, of course, but... Well, my concern is if everyone would be alright with the prospect of something like that? It'd be weird, wouldn't it? A group and two of them are screwing. Seven guys and one girl."
"I think it's a bit too soon to propose a gangbang," Jin admitted. "Besides, I'd like to think most of us will be able to handle ourselves. We're adult men."
"But what if feelings get hurt?" Jimin questioned.
There was a moment of silence.
Taehyung could feel a few eyes on him in particular. He glowered, staring back. "As though any of you are any better. We're all here for a reason, so don't be hypocrites. Besides, I could separate my feelings from helping. There's no guarantee."
"No one said anything about that," Jungkook said, embarrassed. "And we know. We'd all have to separate our feelings. It'd be unfair to Agent Q otherwise."
Everyone nodded in agreement.
"What about you, Namjoon?" Jin questioned. "You've known her longest."
Namjoon blushed, his ears turning a bright red. "W-W-Well, I mean, I... Well, what about you? You've been flirting with her and telling her you wanted to nail her for years."
"I'm not denying it," Jin said, raising his hands in defense. "And I'm not going to say no if it's me, either."
"But?" Yoongi inquired.
"But I think there's a few in this group who would... I don't know, be more deserving? That sounds wrong, but you know what I mean. She's not a prize, and we shouldn't attach our own reasons or feelings to this, but there are better options I guess."
"What do you mean by that?" Yoongi pressed on, narrowing his eyes.
Jin sighed, giving up at trying to figure out his words. "I don't know... Wait, why do you want to do this anyway? You bicker with her all the time. You act like you hate her anyway."
"I clearly don't hate her if I'm here. Besides, as much of a dumbass as she can act once or twice, I'm attracted. It's purely biological," Yoongi shrugged.
"Alright, it definitely can't be you," Hoseok said, shaking his head. 
Yoongi shrugged again, uncaring. "I'm alright with whatever, same as Agent C. The difference is that I don't think anyone has more right to this 'opportunity' as some of you might think of it to be. The fact is we all are attracted to her and I'm not going to call anyone out but everyone here has feelings or something strong enough to have brought them here in the first place. We'd want to sleep with her regardless. It's only a coincidence this could help. I do think we have to try to separate our feelings, however. Jungkook was right- it's not fair to Y/N. You heard her- she can't pick between any of us. I don't think even sex will change that. We can't pretend like we just want her as a piece of meat either since we all care about her. We aren't dimwitted enough to believe that lie, and neither is she. So we'll take what we can get and keep going along. The most important thing though will be to act civil, regardless of who it is."
"Yoongi's right," Namjoon nodded. "About all of that. No one is more or less deserving. The important thing is to do this without feelings and act civil. Like it's all just business."
Jungkook raised his hand, earning a sigh from Namjoon. Once he had the attention, he coughed, clearing his throat. "We still need to decide who it is, though."
Hoseok sighed, "We're well aware."
"So why don't we just... not pick?"
"What do you mean?" Taehyung questioned, furrowing his brows.
Jungkook pulled out a stack of cards, pulling them out of the box to shuffle them. "Does everyone here know how to play Speed?"
-
"I've gotta admit, I'm a little surprised you're the one they chose."
Hoseok shrugged, closing the door behind him with his foot. "You won't like the method we used. Trust me when I say it wasn't a vote."
"Oh?" You quirked a brow, interested. "How'd you guys decide?"
"We played cards."
"Let me guess- Agent Z?"
"How'd you know?" Hoseok questioned, truly impressed.
You simply shrugged, "Lucky guess, I suppose."
"I like the robe, by the way," Hoseok said, pointing to the fluffy white robe you adorned. He felt his ears get pink, knowing that you were more than likely wearing nothing underneath.
"Thank you! Provided by the hotel instead of the CIA, though they've got an old lady outfit stored inside the fake plant in the bathroom, so there's that. I'm sure if I spend a bit more time I'll be able to find at least five more prepared disguises. And just so you know I completely intend on stealing all the shit I can in this hotel before we have to skip ahead to the next one."
He nodded understandingly but was only half listening to what you were saying. Typically he was a very good listener, but he was still trying to process what was happening. The fact it was him of all people. Jin had been flirting with you since the beginning of time. You knew Namjoon first, and you had already slept with Jimin. Taehyung had basically been in love with you since the two of you met. Sure, Hoseok was very attracted to you, (and more) but he wasn't familiar with the act of screwing a colleague. He had determined long ago that wouldn't happen between the two of you, yet here he was.
"Sit here," you say, patting the spot next to you on the bed. Hoseok does so, nervous but compliant. You squint your eyes, your hand coming up to hold his face as you analyzed him. He suspected you would kiss him, but instead, you keep staring at him, as though searching.
"What're you doing?" he questioned, confused.
"Reading you."
"What, like a psychic?"
"No, it's just..." You paused, licking your lips before flitting your eyes back to his. "Hoseok, you can do anything you want to me tonight."
He froze. That was not what he was expecting. 
"I'm giving you full control," you continue, taking one of his hands in your own before bringing it to the back of your head. He lets his hand rest on the back of your neck for a moment. "I want you to be in charge. I'll do whatever you say, and you can do whatever you want. No restrictions."
"Didn't think you'd be into this kinky stuff," he said nervously, heat rising to his cheeks.
"Didn't think you'd be, either," you say. Before he can analyze or read into your words, your lips are pressed against his. His lids flutter closed, your lips bruising against his with a certain amount of ferocity. He feels himself getting into a rhythm, his hand slowly snaking up your hair. You keen at his touch, moaning into his mouth when he makes a tight fist, yanking at your hair.
His eyes bug out, and he lets go. "Shit, sorry, I-"
"Do it again," you say, returning his hand to your scalp.
"W-What?"
"I meant it when I said I wanted you to take control," you tell him, staring him dead in the eye to show how serious you were.
"Yeah, but I don't want to hurt you, and I respect you and-"
"I know that A. I do. It's because you respect me that I want you to take control. I want you to dominate me. To hurt me," you inform him, sighing at the sight of him frozen at your words. You take a deep breath to explain yourself. "Have you ever felt as though you weren't in control? Like many of the choices in your life weren't really made by you, but for you? Like you're sort of just following others' whims?"
"Yeah," Hoseok admitted, thinking back to his mistakes. His parents dying. Stumbling upon a secret agency. Having his childhood ripped out from under him as he was trained not to feel, but to kill. "I have."
"So wouldn't it feel good to exert a bit of control over one aspect of your life? Even if it's just for a few minutes? Even if it's just over sex?"
What you were saying made sense. "What about you, though?"
You smiled, as though expecting the question. "For me, I put the control in someone else's hands. They get to have the control and I won't have to deal with it. I put myself in the hands of someone I trust."
"You trust me that much?"
"I do," you confirm, a coy smile on your lips. "I meant it when I said you could do whatever you wanted to me. I'll do whatever you say. I want you to take control. To dominate me. To hurt me."
"Fuck, you're a masochist," he hissed, finally getting a firm grip on your hair and tugging it back, making you arch into his touch as you hissed in pain.
"Only if you're a sadist," you responded, your lips returning to his in a searing hiss.
He groaned, flipping over to roll on top of you, continuing to kiss you as he pressed his body against yours. It was messy, a clash of teeth and tongue, and he keened at the feeling of you following his movements, letting him control the movements. 
He had sex with women before but never before were they so blunt and open about what they wanted. Typically they just assumed he'd know or communicate small things. He'd have to guess he was doing something right, listening to what little they'd give him. 
But you... it was as though those few seconds that were spent staring at him, reading him, were put to good use. It was as though you had read what carnal desires he had suppressed deep down, and unleashing it.
You moved your hands to touch him, but he slapped your hands away, pinning your wrists above your head. "Don't touch me," he growled. A bit of panic spread over him, unused to talking to you, one of his closest friends, in that manner. 
Instead, you looked at him in a lustful manner, your eyes glazed as you nodded obediently. "Yes, sir."
Fuck, he felt his dick twitch at that.
He let go of your wrists, and true to your word, you kept them in place. He straddled your hips, slowly undoing the knot on your robe and opening it. He sucked in a breath, seeing you fully naked. The number of times he had jerked off to the thought of you like this, naked beneath him, was stupendously high. He couldn't believe that all of his darkest fantasies were coming true. You, so submissive, so unlike yourself, ready for him to do whatever he wished with you.
"You're beautiful," he whispered beneath his breath, slowly spreading your legs wider as he shuffled between them. You were wet already.
"Didn't take you as the mushy type."
You yelped, a sharp gasp escaping your lips as he swatted your mound, the sound of the harsh slap echoing throughout the room. You attempted to close your legs together, but he kept them spread open with his own, giving you another punishing slap. 
"Would you rather I call you a dirty slut?" he questioned between gritted teeth.
From the way you bit your lip, letting the tender flesh roll from between your teeth, he took it as a yes.
He gave you one more firm smack before he started rubbing his hand up and down your folds, gathering your wetness. He hummed, pleased, letting your engorged clit slide between his fingers as he continued to tease you. "I think you like me spanking your pretty pussy. Calling you a slut."
You nodded eagerly, hips bucking up for a bit more friction in contrast to his light touch.
"You'll take what I give you," Hoseok growled, his other hand coming to your lower stomach to pin you down as he inserted a finger, pumping it into you. As expected you gasped, trying to buck your hips again, only to have Hoseok keep you pinned to the bed. "Understood, slut?"
You failed to answer, moaning as he inserted another finger, scissoring you.
Hoseok glared at you, the hand on your stomach reaching up to your throat, squeezing lightly as a warning. "I believe I asked you a question. I expect an answer."
You hummed, and he could feel the vibrations against the palm of his hand. "Yes, sir," you said, compliant once again. "I'll take what you give me."
"Good girl," he said, letting go of your throat. He went down, laying on his stomach as he hitched your thighs over his shoulders, pulling you closer to him. He maintained eye contact with you, his lips making contact with your bud. You gasped at the feeling, eyes rolling back at his movements as his tongue ran through your folds. "Eyes on me," he reminded you, nails digging into your thighs.
He continued, tasting every drop you had to offer, amazed with how good you tasted. Your heels dug into his upper back, trying to draw him impossibly closer. He enjoyed seeing you like this, trying to maintain eye contact despite how you yearned to toss your head back and let your eyes roll to the back of your head. You let out wanton moans with every swipe of his tongue, mewls escaping your lips as he sucked harshly on your clit.
He removed one of his arms from under your legs, inserting two fingers inside of you once more, making a come hither movement. The stimulation of your g-spot with the feeling of his mouth on your clit was becoming too much. Your hands reached down, curling into his hair as you tugged at his scalp similarly to how he did yours.
"Fuck, I'm go-gonna-"
Suddenly it all stopped, Hoseok pulling back from between your legs, watching as your orgasm was ripped from you, dying with each second he didn't spend buried in your head. He watched how desperate you seemed, staring him in the eyes as he licked his fingers of your arousal, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Helplessness was a good look on you, he had to admit. It made his cock twitch in his pants, seeing you like this, knowing it was all because of him.
"I told you before: you take what I give you." He's quicker than you can process, flipping you over on your hands and knees as he gathers your hair in a ponytail, cranking it back as his hands give bruising slaps to both cheeks. "And I also believe I told you not to touch me."
"I'm sorry, sir!" you wailed, the battery continuing as he made sure to redden each cheek, the spanks raining down on you. You were sure you wouldn't be able to even sit down properly tomorrow, each seat you take a reminder of his reprimand. "I won't do it again sir! Fuck, fuck, I'm sorry!"
"I know you are," he said in a soothing voice, rubbing soothing circles in the places where he did the most damage, his voice soft. He gently rolls you over, wiping away some of the tears that had come along with your punishment. "You took it very well. You're such a good girl for me, aren't you?"
"S-Sir, please," you sniffed, enjoying the feeling of his thumb wiping away the tears as you tried to compose yourself.
"What is it?"
"I want you to fuck me."
"Anything for you." He was quick to pull his pants off, with his boxers following closely after. You spread your legs invitingly, a sound of impatience escaping your lips as he teased you, running the head of his cock along your folds. Finally, he slides in, both of you letting out a moan of pleasure. He could feel every ridge of you as you squeezed tightly around him, and you focused on the pleasurable burn of him sliding into you for the first time.
"You're so big," you cooed, your lids fluttering. It had admittedly been a while since you slept with anyone. Partially because of business and partially because of the fact you were kept in a fucking lab.
Hoseok begins to pump himself into you, his grip tight on your thighs as he fucked you with earnest. You wrapped your legs around him, your heels pressing into him as though to drive him deeper into him. He was already impossibly deep, kissing your cervix with every push. It was when he began to stimulate the bundle of nerves that you were really becoming undone.
"Fuck, Hoseok, Hoseok, Hoseok!"
"That's right, scream my name," he grunted, drilling deeper into you. He reached behind, his hand sliding behind your head to yank at your hair once more, a knowing smirk gracing his features as you let out a familiar hiss of pleasure. "This is what you wanted, isn't it? To be my little slut?"
"Yes, sir, fuck!" You were becoming depraved, mouth gaping open as your eyes rolled back. "Harder, please."
Your wish was his command, and before long his hips slammed into your own, no doubt with a bruising force. Hoseok's hand wrapped around your pretty little throat, squeezing harder than before, restricting airflow.
"Are you gonna cum for me?" he questioned, his other hand toying with your clit as he maintained his pace, brutally abusing your g-spot. It came up to give you a slap across the cheek, his cock twitching inside of you at the sight of you letting him. "Are you gonna cream all over me and get nice and messy for me?"
You nodded eagerly, thighs shaking around him as you tilted your head back, back arching with grace as you came. Hoseok fucked you through it, letting go of your throat. The influx of oxygen only increased the pleasure, the orgasm having been built up from being denied before.
Hoseok now chased his own high, using your body as a toy as he felt himself nearing climax. You simply stared at him with that hazy look in your eye, letting him use you, true to your word.
Let go, Hoseok.
He felt himself spill into you, his breath heavy as he drained himself into you. You took all of it, eyes trained on him as he collapsed beside you.
He looked over to you, his fingertips brushing over your neck. "Damn, you're definitely going to have marks in the morning."
You shrugged. "Let them know I like choking. Who doesn't? I'm pretty sure it's in with the college kids nowadays. Besides, if you think that's bad, you should see what you did to my ass. I won't be able to sit for a week."
"Sorry, was that too much?"
"Not at all," you cooed, toying with the strands of his hair. "It felt good to let go, didn't it?"
"Yeah, it did."
"I'm going to pee, and I suggest you do too. Then round two."
"Yeah... Wait already?"
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yoon-kooks · 6 years ago
Text
Witch Hazel- Pt.3
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Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Genre: FanficWriter!Jungkook, Idol!Reader, College!AU, Angst, Fluff
Summary: There are two students in your art class with a secret: you and the quiet Jeon Jungkook. You’re a problematic idol singer, infamous for your ice cold reputation and perpetual resting bitch face; he’s the artist and author behind the viral comic series based on a certain ice queen idol. After a blowup of destructive rumors, lost motivation and inevitable solitude, you stumble upon Jungkook’s comic and find a new and unexpected light.
Word Count: 2.7k
Parts: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // ?
A/N: i made an unintentional dragon ball z reference at the end of the previous chapter, and now this chapter is loaded with anime references LMAO dont worry if you arent familiar with dbz or sailor moon though!💖
As you approach the entrance to the mall, you have but one wish: Taehyung better show up before Jungkook. Not because you prefer Taehyung, but because you’re terrible at handling small talk and conversation—especially with a timid introvert like Jungkook. You’d rather leave it up to talkative Taehyung to prevent any awkward silences.
Unfortunately for you, however, your wish is not granted. Instead, you spot a bespectacled boy in a bucket hat and white shirt (not a hoodie for once!) sitting on a bench and taking pictures on his phone right outside of the mall. He doesn’t seem to notice you until he looks up from his phone and you’re standing right there with a tiny wave hello. Flustered, he adjusts his glasses and waves back, but that’s the extent of your greetings to one another.
So for the longest thirteen minutes of your life, a huge gap of nothingness sits between you and Jungkook on a wooden bench outside of the mall, waiting for Taehyung to show up. The boy resumes taking photos of the blue sky and the mall itself. You don’t get what’s so photo-worthy about an ordinary sky and the generic architecture of the mall. But then again, this is a boy who also probably has 256GB of storage space dedicated to pictures of his favorite idol (one of which is his lockscreen)—and you certainly don’t understand the appeal of Snow. Therefore, you do not bother asking the boy about his reasons for wasting storage space on certain photos. You wouldn’t understand anyway.
And since Jungkook is too busy using his phone for photos at one end of the bench, you decide to use your phone to text the missing boy from the opposite end of the bench.
10:13AM Y/N “Taehyung, it’s past 10. Where are you??”
10:14AM Taehyung “On my way baby. And don’t worry, I promise I’ll make it worth the wait 😉”
As both a desired and disliked idol, you’ve been called a lot of things: beauty, bitch, babe, ice queen, slut, witch. And you’ve put up with it because you feel like, to some degree, you brought it upon yourself. But you’re wondering what you did to deserve a “baby” from Taehyung. Because the last thing you want is for someone who’s kind-of-not-really your friend to make any sort of romantic advances on you when they know nothing about you.  
10:15AM Y/N “Who are you calling baby.”
10:16AM Taehyung “?”
10:17AM Taehyung “But you were fine with it the other night 🍆💦”
10:18AM Jungkook “monkaS”
10:19AM Taehyung “Wait”
10:19AM Y/N “What’s a monkas”
10:20AM Taehyung “Oops wrong chat LOL”
10:21AM Taehyung “Anyway I already told you guys yesterday that I wasn’t coming to the group project thing. I’m busy.”
He sends a screenshot of the group chat where he very clearly had said he wasn’t free. You must’ve missed that text somehow—a fatal mistake on your end because now you’re alone at the mall with Jungkook and it’s damn near impossible to talk to that kid when you can’t even relate to him. At least Taehyung could’ve broken the ice, but of course he’s too busy getting laid.
10:22AM Y/N “Can’t you fuck around later?”
10:23AM Jungkook “poggers”
10:24AM Y/N “What’s a poggers”
10:24AM Taehyung “Sorry I need at least 2 business days to cancel or change an appointment. I’m a man of my word, not a monster ¯\_(ツ)_/¯”
10:25AM Taehyung “But have fun on your date without me~”
10:26AM Jungkook “it’s not a date”
10:26AM Y/N “It’s not a date.”
At least you and Jungkook can both agree that it isn’t a date. But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re stuck hanging out with him for a few hours to “get to know each other” for your stupid art project. How are you even supposed to get to know the boy when there’s nothing to talk about?
“What’s a monkas and poggers?” you ask, because your antisocial mind can’t think of anything else to say once the spam of text messages ends.
“Oh that…” Jungkook looks back down at his phone, scrolling through the text conversation to track down his cryptic messages. “It just means like oh my god and stuff.”
“In what language?” you attempt to keep the small talk going. But from the look of Jungkook’s shifty eyes, it seems you’ve probed too far.
“Gaming... language…”
“Oh.” As far as you can tell by his brief responses, the boy would rather not elaborate further. So you let the conversation die.
Instead, the two of you begin wandering around the mall, hoping it’ll spark any sort of conversation. Of course it doesn’t.
At least not initially.
For exactly 16 minutes (you would know because you’d been checking your phone every other minute as if time would pass any faster that way), you and Jungkook aimlessly walk around the mall without saying a word. And it isn’t until a new shop fills Jungkook’s eyes with sparkles that you spot an opportunity to make something happen.
The shop window is decorated with the cutest recognizable characters: Pikachu, Totoro, Naruto, Sailor Moon, and all their friends. The boy appears to have his eye on the green dragon summoned from seven Dragon Balls. He doesn’t say anything, but it’s obvious he’s interested.
Knowing him, he’d say no if you asked him if he wanted to go inside, in fear of being a burden and wasting your time. So you find a loop hole.
“Let’s go in here,” you say. He nods, obediently following you in but keeping a safe distance. While he’d say no to his own desires, he has a hard time saying no to what everyone else wants. Sounds familiar.
The first thing you see when you walk in is the magic girl section. As someone who grew up admiring Sailor Moon, you would’ve liked to have scouted out that section for nostalgic purposes. The only thing stopping you is the hoard of weebs in that corner. Jungkook, on the other hand, goes right in.
As he joins the frenzy over waifus and body pillows, you shake your head and make a U-turn towards the section with ninjas, pirates, dragon slayers, and Saiyans. The seven plastic Dragon Balls call out to you, just as they had to Jungkook before he got distracted by pink-haired heroines. If you could have one wish granted with the magic of the Dragon Balls, what would you even wish for? There’s not much that you want, except for maybe a life you don’t feel ashamed of. But not even magic would be able to help you with that.
Sighing, you pick up a display model of one of the Dragon Ball fighters and replace his natural black hair with spiky blonde hair to transform him into a Super Saiyan, an almighty hero to protect the world.
“What exactly is the science behind turning blonde when they unleash their Super Saiyan strength?” you mumble to yourself… and the quiet boy next to you. He has a tiny shopping bag with him, so at least you know he didn’t splurge on a body pillow.
“From an artist’s perspective, it makes it easier for people to distinguish between different power levels. Especially in the comics where it’s black and white, so…” Jungkook’s rambling fades out when he realizes you might not be interested in his weeby-artist mind.
“That makes sense,” you say, still fumbling around with the Super Saiyan’s spiky blonde hair. You’d thought maybe it meant something more significant. As if changing one’s appearance could make them stronger by hiding who they really are. “But I suppose not all plot details need to be that deep.”
He nods and picks up another Dragon Ball character, the bald kid with six dots on his head, and wiggles it in your direction. “Is this the kind of anime you’re into?”
You can’t help but sneer at the random but mysterious six dots on the bald head. “This and Sailor Moon.”
Jungkook’s magic girl radar goes off when you mention Sailor Moon. “Oh, so like heroes and stuff?”
“I guess,” you answer, though you’ve never really thought about it that way. It’s not like you intentionally sought out for anything involving superheroes, but it’s something you’d always been naturally drawn to. “Though it seems a bit childish to say it out loud, doesn’t it?”
“I’m sure everyone has wished to be a hero at some point in their life,” the boy says, glancing back at the seven Dragon Balls. “After all, heroes give us something to admire and believe in.”
“Exactly.” You set the Super Saiyan back down on the shelf and stare at the glammed-up Sailor Moon beauties from afar. For just a split second, you’re reminded of your fateful decision to become Snow. “Kind of like idols, right?”
Jungkook flinches, clutching onto his shopping bag as if you’re lowkey judging him for being obsessed with not only pretty idols, but also pretty magic girls. You weren’t planning on bringing up the topic of idols because it can be quite toxic for yourself, but it somehow slipped out of your mouth in the presence of the biggest Snow fanboy. Oops.
“Yeah, kinda…” He lets out a half-laugh, but it sounds forced, only to fill another round of awkward silence as you both exit the anime shop. Great, you’ve brought up another touchy subject and now the boy’s back on lockdown. And just when the two of you were starting to get on the same page.
“I mean… I used to look up to the Sailor Moon characters… because they were my idols… my heroes…” you stumble over your words in an attempt to salvage any momentum you had built up with Jungkook. Surely this is something the weeb can relate to and not feel bad about now that you’ve exposed a bit of your dark past.
“Really?” He tilts his head and eases his grip on the shopping bag. “Who’s your bias—I mean favorite—of the Sailor Scouts?”
You assume he’s asking because your favorite can say a lot about you. Do you prefer crybabies like Sailor Moon, smarties like Mercury, hotheads like Mars, muscles like Jupiter, or perhaps the one who fantasizes over becoming an idol? “Sailor Venus.”
Before responding, Jungkook shuffles through his shopping bag and pulls out a tiny keychain of Sailor Venus with her pretty long hair and orange sailor suit. “Me too.”
You wonder what that says about Jeon Jungkook.
-
By the time lunch comes around, long silences still follow into the food court but somehow you feel less pressure to fill in the gaps. You’re simply okay with being in the boy’s company. Something about it is almost as refreshing as the iced tea you’re sipping on.
As you down your drink, you stare intently at the tall stack of pancakes across from you. The boy’s plate of fluffy delicacies has to be quadruple the size of your tiny salad bowl that you ordered out of habit.
“Um… do you want some?” Jungkook points to his pancakes, but his eyes are glued to your lips—probably because of the drool and not because you share the same pout as Snow.
“No thanks, I’m trying to eat healthier, and I already splurged on pancakes the other day,” you sigh. Even though you've taken a step back from idol life, you feel the need to maintain your image and health for the sake of fans who may worry about you. It’s in your blood, and sometimes you hate yourself for it. “But honestly, you’re really tempting me, you know.”
“Here.” Before you can refuse, Jungkook plops one of his pancakes onto the rim of your salad bowl. “It kinda defeats the purpose of dieting if it makes you unhappy, right? But that’s why cheat days exist~”
“That’s true.” You take a single bite of your pancake, savoring its subtle sweetness. You can’t remember the last time you found pure bliss in something as simple as pancakes without worry. “Thanks, Jung-”
You’re cut off by the fact that the boy’s stack of pancakes vanished, only leaving traces of syrup on the plate and a cute little crumb on the corner of his lips.
“Did you just inhale all your food while I took one (1) bite?”
He swallows the food in his mouth and takes a sip of his milk. “Maybe.”
You don’t know whether to be shocked or impressed, but it made you giggle either way. “You’re a funny guy, you know that?”
Flustered, the boy scurries off to dispose of his food tray. You rarely hand out compliments, and maybe this is why. It probably seems too out of character for someone like yourself, and Jungkook’s fragile little heart can’t handle it.
You punch yourself in the face until Jungkook walks back to the table. Seeing as you’ve only started making a dent in your lunch, he captures a few more photos on this phone, this time of the mall interior and food court. Then he pulls out his sketchbook.
He begins by mapping out a blank page with light lines and dots. Little by little, he adds in the tables, the people, the food. And before you know it, he has the whole food court sketched out and you haven’t even touched your salad yet.
“Are you into architecture? Or like exterior & interior design?” You don’t exactly know the proper art terms for whatever Jungkook’s drawing, but it would explain why he always seems to be taking photos of wherever he goes.
“Yeah, architecture and design are cool.” He shrugs and doesn’t sound all that convincing. So he diverts the spotlight back onto you. “By the way, I mean this in the least offensive way possible, but you’re not an art major, right?”
“Are you saying that because I’m shitty at art?” you pretend to be offended, but you know he’s not the malicious type. “Or because I’m always carrying a guitar to class?”
“The latter.” You see a tiny smirk on the boy’s face as he continues to add in details to his sketch. He’d never say it, but you can tell he’s also thinking your art is complete trash. “Is it music theory? Or just guitar? Or songwrit-”
Bing! Your phone notification saves you from a potentially loaded question about an uncertain future in music, and you couldn’t be more grateful. It’s a new Witch Hazel update from jk.seagull.
You glance over to Jungkook, expecting him to have the same notification on his phone. But he doesn’t. “I would’ve expected you of all people to have notifications turned on for Witch Hazel.”
“Really? Is it because you think I’m that in love with Snow?” It’s Jungkook’s turn to pretend to be offended. You’re glad to see him lightening up and not taking things to heart.
“Are you not in love with Snow?” you tease. Jungkook freezes and so do you. Why the fuck would you ever ask him if he’s in love with an extension of yourself? You don’t want to hear the answer because it’ll hurt you either way. “Nevermind, don’t answer that.”
You quickly skim jk.seagull’s beautiful comic-style artwork and stop at a panel of Snow and the new bunny boy character squaring up.
“But doesn’t this look like something right up your alley?” You flip your phone around to let the boy see the cute art.
“Does it?” Jungkook looks up from his sketchbook and puts down his pencil.
“Yeah, it feels like it would be more your style than realistic architecture would,” you say, although his sketch of the food court is somehow more gorgeous than the actual food court itself. “But I don’t know… You’d be fine with anything in the art field, to be honest.”
To your surprise, the boy shakes his head at your phone screen. “I’m not cut out for something like that.”
“Coming from the best artist in our class,” you say unconvinced. He has to be joking. Or maybe just overly modest. “Obviously I don’t know how you are with storytelling and stuff, but your art is undeniably incredible. And you have a lot of passion and knowledge for comics and anime…”
“Thanks, Y/N, but I don’t think that’s the problem.”
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dragonofdarknesschaos · 5 years ago
Text
AU where Tubbimura is a big heckin’ weeb and he’s really into dating sims and moe genre series and has a whole collection of body pillow waifus that he takes on “sushi” dates to some local fast food place that is definitely not sushi.
Actually, wait, that might be canon, but Muffinface helped him through his issues and now Tubbi is forming stable and healthy relationships with others and no longer has any need for body pillow waifus.
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