#WOULD he love the lgbt community though. would he think people are too focused on labels

[brbarou]

rip beloved you would've loved pinterest boards, cat cafés, DIY youtube channels, book nooks, the lgbt community, nail polish, catholicism, flea markets, therapy sessions, tote bags, fiona apple, clubbing, sobranie cocktail cigarettes, tarot cards, having do not disturb on at all times, web weaving, etc

[qiriex]

Why do DnP have such a large transmasc/lesbian following?

Hi! So I put out a general feeler post about this, and it seems like y’all are interested in a big ass post about Dan and Phil’s relationship with their LGBT audience. Click on the read more for a bit of unhinged analysis.

I have… a lot to say on this matter, and tbf I warned you it would be long. This will mostly be focused on the wlw (specifically lesbian) and transmasc experience with DnP. Before I get into it, I wanna state that I am NOT transmasc. I’m a he/they afab lesbian, but I am in no way talking over any transmascs who have differing experiences. This post will mostly deal with the AFAB experience, as I am not AMAB and can’t speak for our lovely transfems/enbies/cis men! I love you guys, and I would love to hear about your experiences too, though! I’m going to be using as much non-gendered language as I can, however I’m talking about some pretty gendered topics so bear with me. One more thing to note is that when researching this, I found a lot more examples of Dan shouting exact communities out. This is a post about them both, as they are both extremely important to queer communities! It’s just that Dan has generally done more press runs relating solely to his sexuality, so there is more content there. I’m sure I’m missing a lot, though, and if anyone has more Phil focused clips/screenshots I would love to link them here. This is very much a work in progress post, I’m sure I’ll be adding more later and if you have screenshots/clips/anything, my dms and my submissions are open! Okay, done with disclaimers for now, I think. This post will be split up into a few sections: DnP talking about the LGBT community (both pre and coming out), how they empower their wlw following, how they affirm transmasc identities and what they mean to the LGBT community as icons. I would like this post to be free of any in-fighting drama, both from the Phandom and LGBT side of things. We are all awesome! 

Dan and Phil are both queer men who came out after acquiring a large fanbase that was predominantly AFAB (love you transfems and cis dudes going strong btw). However, a community that started out as a common “fangirl” fanbase over the years has shifted into a predominantly LGBT fandom with a disproportionate amount of specifically transmascs and lesbians. The word fangirl was often thrown around as an insult to people like us back in the day, but I think it makes perfect sense that a group of disenfranchised, young, queer AFABs would be drawn to DnP. Both of them were, for obvious in hindsight reasons, vocal supporters of the community. I can’t find an unedited version of the clip, but this clip from 2017 is a great example of that. Correct me if I’m wrong, but not a lot of non-out YouTubers educated their community in the way that Dan does in this clip.  I think sometimes it’s lost to time how bad YouTube used to be, that 2013-2017 time period was peak anti-SJW era. As basic as what he said was, somebody with his level of influence taking the time to educate his audience on queer issues as a presumed straight man was very meaningful. This not only created a safespace for young, queer AFABs but also made their specific audience more saturated with us than your typical “straight” YouTuber of the day. Their audience shares more demographic similarities with someone like Tyler Oakley than someone like Zoella, which makes sense in recent years.

This tweet from Dan from before he was out displays my point perfectly. To my enby ass, things like this meant the world to me and I can imagine it’s much the same for my transmascs out there. Going back to the clip earlier, though, I think that how willing to break gender norms they both were had even more of an effect in attracting transmascs who hadn’t yet fully discovered themselves. This isn’t denying that a lot of transmascs who were already out were drawn to DnP! Most of my Phandom friends were actually transmen back in the day. However, I think in retrospect there’s a huge pipeline from going into the fanbase as a cis person to coming out of it as… not. It makes perfect sense to me that a generation of transmascs would be drawn to and model themselves after the two of them. Going back to the YouTube landscape of the time, even their contemporaries had a much meaner edge that DnP just never had. This unfortunately made them targets of their fellow “vaguely emo relatable YouTuber” scene; people like Shane Dawson and Onision immediately come to mind, at the time they would have been in a similar category but in retrospect are nothing alike. There was an air of cruelty that Dan and Phil never fed into, consistently remaining themselves. I think that as a baby transmasc, people who stayed loyal to their principals even when it wasn’t the cool thing to do was really empowering. In a time when my friends were all fans of LeafyIsHere, Dan and Phil weren’t afraid to be kind. To be soft, even with the context we have now of how scary that really was. After BIG/COTY dropped, it was easy to see why they were great queer role models.  But I’d argue that they’d always been this, even before we knew they were queer.

This one will be a little bit more personal, but I would like to start this section out with a personal anecdote. I grew up in a fairly liberal household, in which I was told being gay was just fine. However, my mother just so happened to use the word ‘lesbian’ as a descriptor for any woman she thought was “unsuitable”. Ugly, boyish, mean, it didn’t matter; to me, lesbian was an unmistakably bad word. I knew that the word didn’t mean that, but intrinsically I had never heard it as something positive until I heard Dan simply shout out the lesbians on a YouNow stream. Simple, right? Four years later, and BIG came out. I identified as a bisexual “who would never actually date a man ahaha” at the time, and it was life changing. Dan and Phil have frequently shouted out their lesbian fanbase over the years to the point where it’s developed into a bit of an inside joke. This is meaningful for a multitude of reasons, one of which being just how demonized not only the word but the group can be. Even when poking gentle fun, neither of them ever lean into hurtful stereotypes. I went to We’re All Doomed last November, and when Dan took his jumpsuit top off the audience screamed. He yelled into the mic “I thought you were all lesbians!”, to which the crowd screamed even louder. You can poke fun at each other without playing into things like the mean lesbian stereotype, for example, and I think it’s things like this which show that they have a genuine appreciation for their lesbian audience. I can only speak from my own experience when I say that I was originally drawn to them for their authenticity even in a hostile environment. I was a closeted lesbain who had grown attached to closeted gay men, because on a level I didn’t understand yet I related to them. It was a parasocial relationship that if I never had, I wouldn’t have come out. This section is a lot less objective than the others, because for me it’s impossible to look at this objectively. A lot of the reasons that transmascs would be drawn to DnP are why lesbians would, especially in a less than LGBT friendly era like the 2010s. They were never afraid to be perceived as weaker than their peers if that meant being kinder, and from a lesbian lens this wasn’t how I modeled my new relationship with gender off of but what I wished the world was like. I grew up with a deep, fundamental fear of men that is still there, but when I would watch actual sunshine Phil Lester and Winnie the Pooh ass Daniel Howell it made me realize that there are people out there who have your back.

I think this is where the conversation turns to now; we are mostly all adults, DnP have been out and proud for four years now. The pair have returned to YouTube (gloriously, might I add) and can talk openly about even the most mundane parts of being queer. Dan has been a very outspoken part of the community, doing a really lovely bit of standup about it. Watch it if you haven’t. I don’t think either of them are obligated to be spokesmen for the community, in a way I think one of the most powerful things they’ve done after BIG/COTY is to just continue living. Watching two queer people thrive how they have is incredibly important. They’re still just as great role models as they have ever been, just with nothing to hide this time. I think now that most of their younger fanbase has grown up, we’ve been very reflective of our past with the Phandom. Certainly not me (lie). It’s not a mystery to me, though, that two groups of closeted AFAB children would attach themselves to figures like DnP. The pair’s content encouraged a level of creativity, of believing in yourself against all odds that was and is unmatched to this day. We can moan about how much of a demonic fanbase we used to be, but the fact is that we turned out alright. People wonder why our fanbase feels like the most healthy parasocial family this side of Tumblr, and that’s because in a way we are. We were raised by these two British dudes to be how we are today; smart, funny and creative. All kids have a rough teenagehood, don’t they? It’s no wonder why queer kids would be drawn to a culture like this, one in which despite everything there is still hope that we will one day grow up to be our honest selves. Dan and Phil did, and so will we.

Thank you if you made it this far! I know this is a bit over sentimental, but they mean a lot to me. They did back in the day, and they definitely do now. Like I said in the beginning, feel free to add on. I would love to hear about this from a transmasc perspective, or any other perspective! I just love talking about these two lol. Love you guys.

[agenderakali]

The LBGT rep in League of Legends seems interesting so far!

If you had any critiques on how the rep as a whole is being portrayed, which would they be?

Sorry if this seems like too much of a hassle, you just piqued my interest, is all 😆

Oh I have SO many things to say about the LGBT representation in League, I love to talk about it. So, league started out as a very cishetereo, misogynist IP and a lot of that unfortunately shows to this day. A lot of the old designs are crappy and misogynistic, the fanbase is toxic. But over time devs have been updating their designs, lore, stories, and characters and in doing so have introduced more LGBT characters into the universe.

This pretty much started with Caitlynn and Vi all the way back in 2012. They were originally billed as the "good cop bad cop" duo from Piltover. Vi's short hair and their close working relationship got a lot of people speculating on Vi being a lesbian and them being more than business partners. Devs hinted at characters being queer, and the (predominantly cishet man) fanbase made homophobic jokes and memes about queer coded characters. Jokes, speculation, and hints from developers was all there was when it came to LGBT rep. That changed when Varus got his lore update in 2017, when they decided to totally retcon his old lore and say he is not some guy, actually is a gay couple that gave up their mortal forms to exist in the body of a darkin (?? kinda weird and complicated lore) but shortly after that, Neeko was revealed. Who was League's first openly gay champion. She had voice lines flirting with women and showing no interest in men. Beyond her sexuality though, she's just got a very funny and adorable personality and her interest in women isnt sexualized for the mostly male audience. She was very well received despite some bigoted gamers bitching.

After that more and more champions were introduced as queer or confrimed that way. Rell was introduced as openly bisexual, K'sante was openly gay, Leona and Diana got a story where they kissed and were confirmed as lovers. Arcane confirmed Vi and Caitlynn being a couple. The amount of queer content is kind of sparing since their games arent rlly story focused and only offer characterization through brief voice lines. So... to be clear its kind of just representation crumbs. But I take them anyways dfkjgh. I think at least, one of the best things they did recently was confirm Graves as a gay man, his "work" partner Twisted Fate as bisexual, and wrote a story about their burgeoning romantic interest in eachother. Many of the queer characters league introduced were new, and some ended up neglected in the vast roster of characters. League has also avoided representation of gay male characters, probably to try to avoid displeasing their mostly straight male audience. Graves and Twisted Fate however, are very established & beloved characters in league, with a complicated history with eachother that started all the way back in 2011. For many years people joked about them "bickering like an old married couple" and in a pride event they officially confirmed it... I think it was very well done and meaningful to see and I really, really hope they further explore it in future cinematics/stories with these two. I really hope it doesn't end up being confined to this one story.

All of that said, though, League's major flaw in their representation is the lack of rep for trans people. The first attempt at a trans character in League was Taliyah. Her creator revealed that they intended for her storyline to involve her experience being a trans girl, but that part of her story was cut by higher ups. Taliyah is pretty much universally accepted as being trans by the community, but the studio did tell designers to keep it on the downlow, which is bullshit. She's been left out of league's pride events and I really hope they remedy that soon.

This post is getting way long I'm sorry but I CANT go without mentioning their other trans character from Legends of Runeterra, the card game they released based of league of legends. LoR actually has more queer representation than any league media, and builds out the world a LOT, through LoR we got confirmation about established character like Miss Fortune and Nami being queer themselves. And most notably, we have a surprisingly amazing representation of a trans character.

Tyari, the Traveler starts off going by he/him, and is starting a journey up the mountain of Targon. It's a treacherous climb but if you make it to the top, you could become an ascended being, basically. So throughout the game, cards of their friends and the people around them have lines support their journey and encouraging them.

When they reach the top, Tyari becomes the Traveler, a goddess-like being with a more feminine voice and appearance. You realize that the journey up the mountain is used as an allegory for her transition, and it throws those interactions with Taric in a whole new light. She is also voiced by trans voice actress Maddie Taylor.

I literally cannot listen to these lines between Tyari and her future self without tearing up. I don't know HOW a league of legends card game managed to put together a decent trans storyline but it guts me.

Tyari is a very beloved character from the card game, many fans want to see more of her in any future league media. (me included, oh my god)

SORRY that was a lot but uh. Tl;dr League representation is hit and miss, they really need to do better and give more representation towards trans people. the only representation outside of Arcane is like. Voice lines and short stories published on their website so I hope they'll creature more in depth queer storylines in future seasons of Arcane, future shows/movies, and their upcoming games around the League IP.

[anamericangirl]

You know, I can agree that I could have worded my post better. Maybe added a disclaimer for people who think accepting people into church means you are endorsing sin and that I'm not saying we don't need to address sin. But even though you and some other Christians weren't able to understand that, there were also many other Christians who saw it that were able to understand it just fine.

But I do think it's interesting how in this scenario your misunderstanding and the misunderstanding of others is the fault of the source of the message and has nothing to do with how you or others who misinterpreted it read it but when I talk about a message being misunderstood there can't possibly be any issue with the way some believers are conveying the message, it's all the fault of the receivers and the problem can only be they don't want to give up their sin.

And I didn't make a distinction between love and acceptance for unbelievers because my post was directed at other believers who I guess I just assumed would know the difference since those are already two different words with two different meanings but now I understand that even believers will conflate the two and think if anyone says we need to love people they are automatically saying we need to accept sin so in the future I'll make that clear for people who don't already know the difference.

"A person shouldn't be coming to Church to be accepted im sorry. I agree, Christian's should of course be loving but I don't go to church to feel love and not judged, no I go to church to feel the presence of God, to be in Holy fellowship with other believers, to be convicted of my sin through biblical teaching and to hear the truth of the Word be spoken."

And I didn't make the claim that a person should be going to church to be accepted. Church is about worshiping God and fellowship and all the stuff you mentioned I agree. I never suggested it's a place to go just to feel good and accepted. I said if a person's experience with the church is just feeling judged and condemned and not understanding that there is more to the story that will only push them away from getting any closer to what a relationship with Jesus and a church community is supposed to be. God doesn't call us just to judge sin and I feel like you think I was saying since God wants us to love people that means he doesn't want us to judge and confront sin. But I never spoke of love without judgement. When Jesus was sitting with tax collectors and sinners He didn't just walk in and immediately start condemning their sin. That did happen but it wasn't how He started the relationship.

Maybe the problem is you and I aren't thinking of the same thing when using the word "accept."

"Again, is that really what they are hearing?"

In some cases, yes. The reason I made the post was because I had personally heard that from more than one lgbt person in the past year. It's not that in every instance but to act like there's no cases like that is wrong.

"Because what I hear, see and read is it that the church is homophobic, transphobic, etc because of biblical teachings."

This is also true. That is the current cultural narrative. Society has been very successful in painting that picture and that is definitely part of the problem but on an individual level Christian communities can be too judgmental (and I'm not talking about christlike judgement) as well.

And I will admit I shouldn't have generalized to the extent that I did because I know these other issues exist but I also know that church hurt is real too and we shouldn't just dismiss it when people make a claim.

"My issue with your post is you are focusing on an entire issue in the wrong light and I'm not sure what churches are around you but what I see from the church as a whole is a suppression of biblical truth to not be "cancelled" by mainstream service. I'd rather have one genuine person repent for their sins and hear the HARSH truth than 1,000 people sit in a church service and never repent but instead be like "oh God does love me!" Acknowledgement of Gods goodness and love does not equal salvation."

And my issue with yours is that the issue you have with mine is something I was not saying. And I don't think I'm focusing on it in the wrong light I just think you and I are operating on two different definitions of the word accept because your critique of my use of the word is criticizing something I never meant.

I would rather a person hear the harsh truth if it brings them to repentance instead of 1000 people feeling happy and loved in church because God loves them, too. Again, you and I don't disagree here and I never even almost said the opposite in my post. What I did say was that if a person gets the message (either through their own misunderstanding or the way it was communicated) that God hates them and leaves the church personally I think a good way to make them comfortable coming back is first to know that God actually does not hate them and then once they understand that and have returned then yeah they need to hear the harsh message that can bring them to repent. You are free to disagree with that but I see more people who initially think God hates them brought to Christ and led to repentance through letting them first know they aren't hated than I have by first letting them know they're being sinful. Maybe you've seen it differently.

And I'm not criticizing individual churches. Like I don't have churches in my area that I think are repelling people or being too harsh or judgmental and I do think there is a big issue with churches being too progressive sometimes in an effort not to be cancelled but with the dominant narrative out there that church is homophobic and transphobic or whatever I personally don't see the church doing enough to combat that, at least in a biblical way. They are either trying to do too much by conforming to society by waving the rainbow flag or they are being too passive. And I don't know what the church community is like in your area. Maybe they are better at it than what I've seen. And even though I know the church overall doesn't hate people and isn't treating them poorly I have seen some Christian communities be very isolating and react in a hostile way. Maybe you haven't.

And again, I think I generalized too much and I could have been more specific but I think the problem here is that we're not defining words like love and acceptance the same way because nothing you're criticizing me for is anything I actually said or even meant. Church isn't a place to go just to feel good I completely agree. But you're also not supposed to feel unwelcome just because you're a sinner. You shouldn't feel comfortable with your sin, but you should feel comfortable coming to church to help be free from it. That's what I was saying. But next time I'll make sure to clearly define my terms so people who conflate words that are different don't get confused and think I'm saying the church needs to stop judging people and just make them feel loved and accepted and nothing else.

To think the church is failing in terms of being loving is 1. Not true and 2. A very broad generalization. I'd say too many churches are TOO loving and not enough are speaking the TRUTH. You cannot be just loving and you cannot just be truthful, you have to speak the truth in love. For anyone who thinks calling out sinful behavior, telling someone to repent of their sin, stating they are not representing Christ by identifying their sin (which is literally breaking the third commandment) have clearly never read Acts and saw how the early church handled those who were sinning without repentance, those who rejected Christ and Christians who were not representing God the way they should. Take this scripture below for an example:

“Saul, also known as Paul, was filled with the Holy Spirit, and he looked the sorcerer in the eye. Then he said, “You son of the devil, full of every sort of deceit and fraud, and enemy of all that is good! Will you never stop perverting the true ways of the Lord? Watch now, for the Lord has laid his hand of punishment upon you, and you will be struck blind. You will not see the sunlight for some time.” Instantly mist and darkness came over the man’s eyes, and he began groping around begging for someone to take his hand and lead him.” - Acts of the Apostles‬ ‭13‬:‭9‬-‭11‬ ‭

Or about when Peter boldly speaks to the Jewish council in Jerusalem.

“Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them, “Rulers and elders of our people, are we being questioned today because we’ve done a good deed for a crippled man? Do you want to know how he was healed? Let me clearly state to all of you and to all the people of Israel that he was healed by the powerful name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, the man you crucified but whom God raised from the dead.” - Acts of the Apostles‬ ‭4‬:‭8‬-‭10‬ ‭

Seriously just read Acts and look at how Paul, Peter and others who journeyed with them handled a culture against God and Christians who were not properly representing Christ and HOW they preached the gospel with BOLDNESS.

Now onto addressing the part about sexual immorality:

While sexual sin is no worse than any other sin because sin is sin and sin = death, it can be a more dangerous sin because “Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.”- 1 Corinthians‬ ‭6‬:‭18‬ ‭NLT‬‬ - NOT to mention in our current culture people believe they cannot overcome this sin, they identify with the sin instead of Christ. If you claim to be a christian but are living in sin, we as Christian's are TOLD to call one another out. We see Paul do this in ALL of his epistles, like hello!? Now the way we treat unbelievers SHOULD BE different than believers, for believers are said to not be blinded but in the light but unbelievers are blinded and in the dark and we must first pray for unbelievers and their blinders are removed and their ears are open or else all that is said to them was said in vain. But even then, Paul is a GREAT example of being bold in faith and speaking truth with having a heart of love and genuinely wanting people to know Christ. Before you correct someone, check your own heart first. If it's coming from a place of superiority you are better off not saying anything at all.

[jadenvargen]

Idk if youve made a post like this but any m4m animes/mangas you recommend? Im trying to find stuff thats not overly romance focused or like. Idol groupey?? Like ikemen. Also watched kaiji because I saw your art and my soul hurts from the first arc alone

IM SORRY FOR THAT KAIJI IS SO MUCH uhm... i think i know what you mean? i don’t read too many gay manga( bcs i have hard time finding ones i like also😭) but there’s some i really recommend! Been a while since I read some of these so I’ll try my best to warn but I might have forgotten something ;; ! anyway I have a few to reccomend!

Shimanami Tasogare

you’ve probably heard of it, it gets recced a lot, but it’s for a reason. It weaves an expert narrative, focusing on a small community of LGBT+ (an older gay man, a pair of lesbian wives, a transgender bicyclist, the mysterious agender leader, and a young child who’s unsure of their gender identity and presentation) people and how they navigate the world. Its POV character is a young closeted gay man struggling with self acceptance, and finds family and love within this group. 

warnings:

Homophobia, Bullying, Transphobia as central and constant, but also mentioned suicidal ideation, pedophilia, parental abuse, as well as cancer.

What did you eat yesterday?

If you’re not much for romance, this one’s definitely for you! Not to say the romance isn’t there- it’s just very casual. A fun and honest tale about a gay odd couple and their day to day struggles, from light to major, told with the help of food recipes that they eat for dinner every day. Very comfy. Also has a delightful live action show!

warnings: Homophobia, grindr-esque fatphobia at times, domestic abuse(one of the men is a lawyer and deals with lots of types of cases), and the biggest one would be a bad bit in Chapter 2 where a woman thinks our protagonist is going to assault her while he thinks she may be homophobic. I would honestly skip this chapter. 

Hare no Hi

A one-shot about a gay divorced dad learning his son is gay too, and struggling to know how to help him. Since it’s so short, I won’t say more but I think it’s really amazing!

warnings:

the son has a crush on the dad’s friend, who’s an adult. this isn’t encouraged by him or anything(in fact explicitly rejected) but warning just to be safe!

I hear the sunspot/ Hidamari ga Kikoeru

A HoH university student recruits the help of a go-getter shonen protag classmate to take notes, and their friendship and feelings for each other develop along the way. It’s more about the HoH guy’s struggles to fit in and what to do in life, and how to fit in a relationship in all that. I’m not HoH myself, so while I cannot definitely decide if it’s perfect representation by any means, I think the story and characters are very real and wonderful to follow. 

(The reading order is all out of whack for a lot of chapters uploaded though so I’d reccommend checking a read order thing before starting lol...Also, the last chapter is gone from most scan sites for some reasons, but just searching “chapter 29″ should lead to plenty of downloads.)

warnings: ableism, bullying

Blue flag:

Not my personal favourite, but a lot of people swear by it! Different strokes, so it might be for you. Basically: Boy likes Girl, who Likes Boy’s friend, who Likes Boy, then other complicated factors start to enter the picture. It’s a sort of relationship drama between every character in their large friend group. 

warnings: homophobia, bullying, sexual assault mention, i think i remember some weird homophobic rhetoric that was like endorsed but maybe i’m mixing things up, katy perry and taylor swift pro gay mixtape.

not a lot because i’m kind of picky and i tend not to like a lot of what i read ;_; a lot of gay stuff is just bad yaoi, hard bara which is fine but not like.. a story lol. or like.. super focused on highschoolers and i don’t care for that. some general lgbt manga i’d reccomend other would be: 

double house (character study of trans woman cis woman roomates.. and then more:) ) 

i wanna be your girl!(cis girl in love with her real girl childhood friend but struggling if these feelings mean she’s invalidating her gender but Actually she’s just bi... the t girl is straight though so be warned.) 

Ohana Holoholo (2 ex girlfriends become roommates to raise the child of one of them, and rediscover old feelings along the way.)

Koi Ga Ochitara is explicit, 18+ but if you’re an adult gay man it is. Somehow very touching and relatable.

[bryte-eyed-athena]

Afrofuturism in the work of Janelle Monáe

Ashley Clarke, a curator for the Brooklyn Academy of Music, defined Afrofuturism as “the centering of the international black experience in alternate and imagined realities, whether fiction or documentary; past or present; science fiction or straight drama.”

Themes of Afrofuturism can be found throughout the works of Janelle Monáe. Her previous albums like The ArchAndroid and The Electric Lady showcase this through the exploration of androids as a new “other.” Today I want to talk about one of her most recent projects, Dirty Computer, and the way it contributes to the conversation on Afrofuturism. Janelle Monáe released Dirty Computer as an album and a 48 minute long Emotion Picture to draw her audience into a visual and auditory world of her own making. The dystopian future she presents to us is very similar to our own current reality, except that the voices being amplified are those that have historically been silenced. People of color and the LGBT+ community are central in this story rather than pushed off screen. Dirty Computer is so powerful because it focuses on joyful rebellion, love, and freedom in an oppressive dystopian setting.

The project, as Monáe has shared, can be split into three parts: Reckoning, Celebration, and Reclamation.

Part I: Reckoning

gif credit: scificinema

gif credit: scificinema

The Emotion Picture begins with Monáe’s character Jane 57821 laying out how her society has begun to capture people deemed dirty in order to “clean” them of their supposed filth against their will. This is meant to produce beings that are stripped of all individuality and ready to conform to societal norms and expectations. Jane tells the audience that, “You were dirty if you looked different, you were dirty if you refused to live the way they dictated, you were dirty if you showed any form of opposition at all. And if you were dirty it was only a matter of time.” The dichotomy between dirty and clean has created a system where an entire class of people can be demonized and oppressed. This foreboding tone at the beginning prepares the viewer for the grim implications of the cleaning process in this universe.

Dirty Computers are strapped to a table and forced to undergo the “Nevermind” which is a program that deletes memories. It is a process that is horrifying because of what it symbolizes to the individual and entire communities of people. To erase someone’s memories is to erase who a person is. The character of Mary Apple 53, Jane’s love interest, shows us just how alien a person can become once their memories are gone. The horror of erasure is also something that marginalized communities have faced for centuries and continue to face today.

In an interview on Dirty Computer, Janelle Monáe said “I felt a deeper responsibility to telling my story before it was erased. I think that there’s an erasure - of us, and if we don’t tell our stories they won’t get told. If we don’t show us we won’t get shown.” Afrofuturism is a response to this erasure of black people and people of color in culture, history, and art. Monáe has made a deliberate choice to tell her story even if it might get erased because if she doesn’t do it then no one else will. Remaining silent would be to assist in that erasure and Afrofuturism is all about refusing to be erased.

This first part of the Emotion Picture is all a reckoning with the Dirty Computers and how they are pushed to the margins. The lyrics in Crazy, Classic, Life speak about how the same mistake made by two people on different ends of the spectrum of social acceptability is punished unequally. Take A Byte follows it with a more upbeat tone, but even then the lyric “I’m not the kind of girl you take home to your mama” speaks to a feeling of being outside social norms.

There are moments of light and joy that are counterweights to the dire situation Jane is in. These come in the form of her memories which are played one final time before they are erased. Jane’s life before she was captured was filled with exploration, youth, love and celebration.

Part II: Celebration

Gif credit: normreedus

Gif credit: daisyjazzridley

Gif credit: nerd4music

Dirty Computers seem to recognize that they are living on borrowed time and that any day could be the day they are forcefully disappeared. This is why they fill each moment with as much fun, life, color, and joy as they can. There are many scenes at clandestine parties where Dirty Computers live freely and openly despite the threat of drones or police that could capture them at any moment. It is important to have these scenes of celebration though because Afrofuturism is also about providing hope.

The future must be a hopeful one if we are to strive for it and Afrofuturism allows us to be creative in crafting our visions of a hopeful future. Even though Monáe’s future is dystopian, there is still room for hope and joy because those are the things that make life worth living. These Dirty Computers have to live their lives joyfully because they don’t know when they’ll be sterilized.

In the interview mentioned previously, Monáe added that “I had to make a decision with who I was comfortable pissing off and who I wanted to celebrate. And I chose who I wanted to celebrate, and that was the Dirty Computers.” The LGBT+ community, people of color, black women, immigrants, and low income people have all been mentioned as people Monáe wished to celebrate. This celebration comes intertwined with images and themes of rebellion as expressed in Jane’s memories. Screwed, Django Jane, Pynk, Make me Feel, and I Like That are the songs that embody celebration the best. Whether it's a celebration of sexuality, femininity, unity, or of self love it is all encompassed in these songs. Jane is shown connecting with others and being unapologetically proud of herself. We also see her falling in love with two people, Zen and Ché, and we see them love her in return.

Gif credit: thelovelylights

Viewing these memories and interacting with Jane seems to encourage the questioning of authority. The employee utilizing the Nevermind process seems to question why he should be deleting Jane’s memories at all. Mary Apple 53, previously named Zen, also directly questions their matriarch after speaking with Jane and realizing that she’s connected to her. It all culminates in a nonviolent escape attempt where Jane, Zen, and Ché reclaim their names, bodies, and their lives.

Part III: Reclamation

Gif credit: thelovelylights

The Emotion Picture ends with Jane 57821 and Mary Apple 53 freeing themselves, and their recently arrived lover Ché, from the facility. They escape without harming others the way they themselves have been harmed. By leaving they are reclaiming their freedom and their right to be proud of being Dirty Computers. They refuse the new names that were forced upon them and leave to rediscover the memories of the life they lived before capture.

It is a hopeful ending that plays into the themes of Afrofuturism. Even though both Jane and Zen’s memories were erased they still have the ability to create new memories and stories. Their ability to recreate their past as well as create a new future was not taken away. As they escape the song Americans can be heard in the background. The lyrics subvert the typical American patriotism expressed by racist white southerners. The trope of preserving gender roles and being a gun carrying american are satirized in these lyrics. America as a whole is being reclaimed by Janelle as a place for the people who have been marginalized.

Janelle sings “Don’t try to take my country/ I will defend my land/ I’m not crazy baby/ nah I’m American.” This sentiment is typically espoused by xenophobic americans, but when it is sung by Janelle she is saying that she won’t be forced out of America due to the bigoted beliefs of the people who hate her. She also pleads for the listener to love her for who she is which is something that has been denied to black women for centuries. The song ends with a powerful message of reclaiming America by Rev. Dr. Sean McMillan who said “Until Latinos and Latinas don't have to run from walls/ This is not my America/ But I tell you today that the devil is a liar/ Because it's gon' be my America before it's all over.”

This also shows themes of Afrofuturism since Monáe is reclaiming her history and is refusing to be excluded from it. She is asserting her presence and that of all the Dirty Computers by saying that they too have a claim to America. The Emotion Picture and the album are both a masterpiece of Afrofuturism art and music. Monáe masterfully weaves various musical genres and visual storytelling to show her pride in being a black queer woman. There is no other artist like Janelle Monáe, and I am excited to see what new worlds she will take us to next.

[reidology]

Oh, imagine Jack coming out as trans or nb and just, Hotch being a great dad and super accepting but he also doesn’t have first hand experience (sadly not nb Hotch in this lol). So he goes to Reid and asks for help, he knows Spencer is connected more with lgbt people, given he’s bi (so is Hotch but like, he never really got into the community like Spencer did) and so Spencer comes over and just helps out. Hotch just falls in love seeing how well Spencer is with Jack(or whatever name they want) ahhhhh

yes!!!! i love this because even though hotch is, let's be real, straight-passing, but he would support jack PROUDLY and unashamedly. he would ask jack if they're okay with telling spencer, because full disclosure he thinks spencer could help him better, and since jack is already comfortable with spencer they accept and spencer starts to spend more time around the Hotchner household

hotch ends up learning so much too. he's never been much a 'proud' bisexual. he knows he's bi and that's pretty much all he needs to know, but spencer opens up new doors for Hotch and Jack. he shows them both the freedom and fluidity of being lgbtq+. to make jack feel extra supported hotch makes efforts to normalize giving out pronouns, so he changes his business card, work email, and contact info to include his pronouns <3 (soon enough the whole team does too)

anon i love this so much because how could hotch NOT fall in love with spencer when he gives jack the same care he would henry? and what if this crush is one sided until a late night at hotch's place, jack asleep, hot cups of tea and a cheesy movie where they talk about nothing and everything because until then they'd only been focusing on jack and now.... spencer gets to see Aaron.

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

You Don't Need To Be Fixed - Will Poulter

Uh, I'm not even gonna explain because it's self-explanatory.

Possible Trigger Warning: Toxic Parental Figure/Emotional Abuse

~~~~~~~~~~

"I hate you."

"I wish you never even existed."

"You need to change, or else you're going to Hell."

"I pray every day that you see the light."

"The Lord can save you."

All of those I've heard before, all of them coming from a person that's supposed to love me unconditionally. I guess being one of the "homosexuals" is the breaking point for that, or having "deviant behavior" as she would call it.

Now, she's never said those things about me, because I'm closeted to her still, but I still feel those comments slice through me like she's directing it at me. It's kinda hilarious actually. She unintentionally tells me that I shouldn't exist.

I tell her point blank that I'd have a less rough time accepting her belief if she just comes out and say she hates the LGBT community. But, she says she doesn't hate anyone cause it's a sin.

"Bullshit." I say to her, out loud.

"Now, I do not like that language." She says sternly.

Ha! Of course that's what she focuses on, my fucking language. She's so fake, even more fake than a tween girl in middle school. She claims she's not homophobic because she's not afraid of gay people, to that I laugh, hard. She says she had bought lunch for two lesbians that she works with, says that she had a very nice time, so she couldn't possibly be homophobic! No, she acts like a decent human being with the gays, so that means she doesn't wish their sexualities would change!

It makes me want to vomit.

I call her out on that ridiculous way of thinking, to which she replies, "Just can it, will ya?" And that's the end of that conversation.

Another day, another argument about this, that, and the other. It's so tedious, and I willingly go into these arguments knowing that I'll never change her mind about anything. She thinks she's right about everything, and she always tells me, "I am right." Without second thought, she completely dismisses what I try to say.

It's always like this, me thinking I'm right and her thinking she's right. It's like trying to talk with Trump supporter...oh wait, she is a Trump supporter. Oops.

Usually, I'd go up to my room and cry it out, listen to very loud and aggressive music, scream into my pillow so I don't injure myself by punching a wall again. But, thankfully, I have someone who can help me through these times of crisis.

Will.

Ever since I met him, Will has been my rock, like my own emotional support human. Of course, it's not a one-way street, he trusts me enough to lean on me too. He's the greatest friend I've ever had, and I have no idea where I'd be without him in my life.

I just walk out of my house with my car keys in hand, starting the car and driving down the same route I've driven so many time I can basically do it in my sleep.

I make sure to text him beforehand, letting him know to prepare himself for a lot of frustrated ranting, but he was used to it by now.

"And it's like I can never talk to her about anything anymore because it always somehow ends up in a heated argument about politics, racial issues, or of course, the LGBT community. Like, I have no idea how much I can take before I explode and do something...not violent."

Will had his eyebrows raised, his shoulders tensed and looking like he was trying to be absorbed by his couch.

I had been ranting for about half an hour, pacing back and forth in his living room, scaring his poor pups with how my voice raised several octaves while speaking about the particularly upsetting parts, and my arms were pretty sore by how much I was waving them around. Jesus, no wonder Will looked scared.

I sighed. "Sorry, just had to get that off my chest before I imploded."

Will smiled. "It's okay, Y/n. Really. I was just afraid that story was going to end with you burying her in your backyard."

"No, at least, not yet." I chuckled, taking a seat next to Will, leaning on his shoulder.

"I'm really sorry you have to deal with that, I can't imagine how tired I'd feel living with someone like that." Will grabbed a hold of my hand gently, leaning his head on mine.

I wore a tight lipped smile, exhaling sharply through my nose. "It's not the greatest, but it could be worse."

"Doesn't make your situation any less valid."

"Yeah, yeah, I know...just like how she prays for me to see the light, I do the same for her. She doesn't appreciate it though. But, I guess that's fair considering I don't appreciate her thought and prayers."

Will turned to look at me, smiling softly. "You are perfect just the way you are. She's the one who has to change, not you, because you were made this way, just like everybody else who has their own orientations. One day, you'll be free of her. You'll be free to live however you want to live, and you'll be able to cut her out of your life if you choose to do so. You just have to be patient, but I promise, you'll be happy."

~~~~~~~~~~

I wrote this so I can be fine, so don't worry. I am fine. I promise.

[wifeylouis]

Louis Tomlinson writes queer love songs about the queer experience.

Louis is a prolific songwriter who has penned most of the iconic One Direction songs and has written on every single one of the songs from his debut album Walls. LGBT+ fans have always resonanted with Louis’ song writing and most of us have picked up on the very obvious queer coding. Many people seem to dismiss Louis’ outcries about his sexuality through his songs and I’m here to bring back the attention to all the gay anthems Louis has given us! 

Before someone brings up the fact that Liam Payne has written on these songs too, in his own words, he focused more on melodies and Louis on the actual lyrics!

In One Direction:

1. Strong

I'm sorry if I say, "I need you" But I don't care, I'm not scared of love 'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong That you make me strong?

Here Louis talks about not being scared of loving his partner and asks them if it's so wrong for them to be in love and to need each other. A very common thing gay people are told is that it’s wrong for us to love our significant other. Louis is trying to make his lover realise that it’s okay for them to do so, and that there's nothing to be afraid of.

Think of how much Love that's been wasted

People always Trying to escape it Move on to stop their heart breaking But there's nothing I'm running from You make me strong

Many older gay people have remained in the closet all their lives and have tried to “escape” from their truths and from who they really are, because they have been (and still are) afraid of rejection or the heartbreak they might face if they were out. 

Specially back when things were even worse for the community, gay people would remain in straight marriages and even have children - take the example of Philip Schofield, the british presenter who only came out as gay this year after 27 years of marriage. 

Louis, on the other hand, says that he isn’t ashamed of who he is and he isn’t running away from his true self. He knows who he loves and is proud of himself. 

2. Alive

My mother told me I should go and get some therapy I asked the doctor, "can you find out what is wrong with me?

Here louis refers to how families and society often tell us that being gay is something that needs to be fixed. The “doctor” could be a reference to conversion therapy that many gay people in homophobic religious families are forced to go through. If you grow up around that mindset, you might really wonder if something is wrong with you. 

She said, "hey, it's alright Does it make you feel alive? Don't look back Live your life Even if it's only for tonight" She said, "hey, it's alright If it makes you feel alive"

So the doctor tells him that it’s okay to be himself and to live his truth, love who he loves, because all that matters is doing what truly makes him “feel alive” which is being himself. 

I whispered something in her ear that I just can't repeat She said, "okay" but she was worried what her friends will think She's going crazy Can't contain it She asked me, "what should I do, oh?"

Those of us who have been in a closet have at some point worried about our friends finding out, I know that I have been careful of being with another girl if there was a chance my friends would find out about it. We all know the theory that if you replace the girl in Alive with a man, the song changes its  meaning. It clearly becomes a song about a guy hooking up with another man at the same party, and him worrying about what his friends would think about him being with another guy. Louis is telling him what the doctor told him: that it’ll be alright, and that he needs to do what makes him feel alive! To be who he is and to live his truth freely. I love this theory for the song because it makes so much sense!

3. Through the dark 

You tell me that you're sad and lost your way You tell me that your tears are here to stay But I know you're only hiding And I just wanna see you

Here he's probably referring to a lover or a friend who was maybe afraid to accept themselves. This song reminds of Taylor Swift’s "Seven" where she sings about a friend who will no longer have to be in the closet if they leave their homophobic home and come live with her. Louis is telling a friend, who has lost their way trying to find themselves, that their true self is still there, hiding under that blanket of shame and self hatred. 

You tell me that you're hurt and you're in pain And I can see your head is held in shame, But I just wanna see you smile again See you smile again

The theme of “hiding” and “shame” are obvious references to internalised homophobia and Louis is telling his friend or lover that he wants to see them happy, wants them to accept who they are. Throughout the song he reminds them that he will always be there for them and that he will support them and love them regardless of what society might say. He just wants them to be happy and to be themselves. 

4. Ready to run

There's a moment when you finally realize There's no way you can change the rolling tide

All of us have had that moment when we realised we were queer, for some of us it happened at a young age and for some of us later on in life. But that moment of realisation and coming to terms with our sexuality is a shared experience for the entire community. Louis talks about that moment, about realising who he is and not wanting to change it because the truth is there and he’s accepted it. 

There will always be the kind that criticize But I know, yes I know we'll be alright

As LGBT+, we face a lot of criticism from society and Louis talks about how he doesn't care about who stands against him and his lover, he knows they’ll be alright because he believes in their love. 

 5. End of the day

All I know at the end of the day is you want what you want and you say what you say And you'll follow your heart even though it'll break Sometimes All I know at the end of the day is love who you love There ain't no other way If there's something I've learnt from a million mistakes You're the one that I want at the end of the day

A wlw anthem! Louis really does love his sapphics and this song was easily claimed by his wlw fans. He again talks about staying true to himself and living his truth even if he might face rejection and heartbreak, he can’t change who he is. A common phrase associated with the LGBT+ community is “Love is Love”. Louis speaks on the same theme and says that nothing can change him because he knows who he loves and there’s nothing wrong with who he loves and wants. He talks about how he's not afraid of being in love with this person and he's ready to say what he wants about his lover, because he's not ashamed of his feelings in any way or form. And he’ll follow his heart even though he might be rejected. 

The priest thinks it's the devil My mum thinks it's the flu But girl it's only you

He refers to the “priest” and “mom” like he did with the “doctor” and “mother” in Alive. Religion tells us that being gay is something wrong and evil, our family tells us that it’s just a phase that we will get over, and Louis talks about these elements in many of his songs. But he knows that there’s nothing wrong with his feelings, it isn’t a phase or a trend for him, he loves who he loves and there’s no other way. 

7. Home

Make a little conversation So long I've been waiting So let go of myself and feel alive

Here Louis refers to the feeling of being “alive” once again. Being who he really is makes him feel like he’s truly living. He’s finally “letting go” of himself, as in coming to terms with who he is. 

So many nights I thought it over Told myself I kind of liked her But there was something missing in her eyes

Louis leaked Home even though it wasn’t a single and even tweeted a little Home emoji for it! This song was quickly claimed by LGBT+ fans as exclusively for us and we even started Project Home for it. Here he talks about how he tried to make himself believe he liked this girl, but at the end of the day he knew it wasn't right and there was something missing. Most of us have tried to make ourselves believe that maybe we’re just confused, and many of us have suffered through comp-het, or giving heterosexuality one last chance before realising that something’s wrong and this isn’t for us. 

I was stumbling, looking in the dark  With an empty heart But you say you feel the same Could we ever be enough? Baby we could be enough

There was a point in time where he was confused, figuring out where he fell on the spectrum, he was “stumbling” through this journey of self acceptance and he found his lover along the way. Someone who told him that they felt the same way he did. This is again a common shared experience in the LGBT+ community, finding comfort in realising that there’s other members of the community around us who are like us, we are not alone in this struggle. Finding that person who felt the same way he did, was enough for him.

I see the smile as it starts to creep in It was there, I saw it in your eyes

Referencing the missing something in the girl’s eyes from before, Louis says that he’s found it in his lover’s eyes. They’re happy, they know who they are, they’ve accepted themselves. I also made a connection here with a lyric from Louis’ song Walls where he sings “Looked you in the eyes, saw that I was lost” perhaps implying he could no longer find that “something” in his lover’s eyes, he no longer feels the same way. Louis’ songs have many easter eggs and little references to eachother, it’s amazing how he’s writing a story through his songs and no matter which album or era you pick a song from, they all link with eachother and can be written down like a cohesive story. He’s a really brilliant, smart songwriter. 

In his debut album Walls:

Something to note here, Louis hasn’t used a single pronoun in the entirety of Walls. Unlike the unnecessary “girl” in awkward places that were forced into One Direction songs, Louis’ debut album is a beauty, gender neutral piece that is relatable to everyone, regardless of who are partner is. 

7. Too Young

Oh, I can't believe I gave in to the pressure When they said a love like this would never last

Being LGBT+ as a regular person is hard enough, but being a gay man in the homophobic music industry is near to impossible. Louis talks about the pressure and hardships he and his lover may have faced under their label and management, considering how restrictive, abusive and controlling Sony Music is, it isn’t far-fetched to think that Louis is referring to the pressure his relationship may be under because of contracts and agreements. The industry is homophobic, the artist is a product and the listeners are the consumers, and gay men in pop music aren’t exactly seen as marketable by the executives. A “love like this” is obviously referring to queer love, and being told that it’s phase that will pass, or that it won’t last because they won’t let it last.

8. Habit

I took some time 'cause I've ran out of energy Of playing someone I heard I'm supposed to be But honestly, I don't have to choose anymore

Louis talks about being tired of playing a character, hiding his true self and being someone he isn’t because thats what hes told to do. Again, this could be a reference to that “pressure” he felt in Too Young, and also an obvious reference to a closet. All of us who have been closeted before or are in the closet right now, know that our day to day public lives feel like playing a character, acting like the person society expects us to be. Straight men don’t experience this, they don’t have to play someone else because they are exactly what society expects of them already. Louis is tired of that, and doesn’t want to choose between that pressure of the hiding and being his true self. 

 9. Only the brave

It's a church of burnt romances And I'm too far gone to pray

Only the Brave is the last song on Louis’ debut album, and was quickly claimed by his LGBT+ fans as a second sister to home, another gay anthem. In the track by track, he says “Love is only for the brave”. Bravery and pride are two words commonly associated with the LGBT+ community, pride is an integral part of us and we are extremely brave for being ourselves and loving who we love in a society that tells us that we are wrong for doing so. Here, Louis again brings up religion and his relationship with it. This is a recurring theme in his songs. The “burnt romances” are obviously queer romances that the “church” or all religion has killed, by telling us we are wrong or evil for being who we are. Alot of gay people have a bad relationship with religion, mostly because we are so demonised by it. “Too far gone to pray” definitely refers to how gay people are told that if they pray or if they hadn’t strayed from religion they might be able to “cure” themselves. In this case he says that he can't do that anymore, because he KNOWS who he is and doesn't need religion to tell him. He’s too far gone to turn around and try to “fix” himself, instead he doesn't need that fixing at all. 

And they'll say, "I told you so Come on, when you know, you know"

Something most of us have heard when we come out of the closet, is people saying “they knew all along” and this is a reference to that. It can also be interpreted as knowing who we are when the time comes. Most of us have had our gay awakening at some point in life, when that moment comes, we realise who we were all along. Louis himself has been outed multiple times in his career, once even by The Wanted, he might be referring to how people will say that they had known all along when they find out the truth about him. 

Additional: 

10. Just Like You 

“Twenty-five and it's all planned”

Louis announced Just Like You as a song for the fans against his label’s wishes on 11th October 2017, also known as National Coming Out Day. His LGBT+ fans knew it was another outcry from him about his sexuality, reaching out to his community through his music. Here he talks about how his entire career has been planned, perhaps referring to Too Young and Habit, playing this character because he’s been forced into it, because that’s what's written down for him by the management and labels. His fans have always picked up on certain mannerisms and things he does and says that look forced, and are probably a result of controlled media training of his body language and words. 

Yeah, I feel the same as you would do Same stress, same shit to go through I'm just like you If you only knew

The “you” here is the LGBT+ community. Time and time again Louis has been alienated from his own people, and through his music he reaches out to us and tells us that he’s the same, he goes through the same troubles and hardships and faces the same societal pressure that we face when it comes to being who we are and loving who we love. 

I wanna lay where she lays

This is the one of the only pronouns Louis has ever used in his solo music but his fans quickly picked up on the real meaning behind it. “She” lays next to a man, and Louis might be referring to how gay men are told that men should not lie with men, and he says that if he had it his way, he could be lying where “she” is, as in next to the man, his lover. 

Louis also released a beautiful lyric video for Just Like You where he added newspaper articles about various topics ranging from Black Lives Matter, racial inequality, police brutality, feminism, sexual assault and the LGBT+. There are many easter eggs and hints to pick up on in the video including a clipping of a crossed out “What is your sex” column and using a separate clipping of the letter “S” over the word “He” to form “She”, a reference to gender neutral pronouns or the “He” that he wants to lay next to. 

 There are many themes that are recurring in Louis’ music, specifically religion, societal pressure, having to hide and be someone society expects him to be, being told that there’s something wrong that needs to be “cured”. All of these are a common part of the queer experience, something all of us have been through and shared with eachother. That’s why Louis’ music resonantes with gay fans, because the words he writes and sings tell a story that all of us have lived, and a straight man could’nt do that. LGBT+ artists queer code through many ways, clothing, mannerisms, art, Louis does it through songwriting. He may be in a tightly controlled, restrictive situation but he has a positive outlook on life, he is proud of who he is, he constantly reaches out to fans and his community through the only way he can, his songwriting. He’s given us many gay anthems  and has helped many fans, myself included, come to terms with our sexuality and accept ourselves because his music told us that it’s okay to do so. I’m grateful to Louis for giving me that acceptance and love that all of us seek through his beautiful songs. It’s time we stop invalidating Louis’ struggles and the amount of times he has reached out to his community and tried to show us his true self. 

Can’t wait for our next big gay anthem in LT2!

[btsandvmin]

How much do we really know?

I really don't understand how any BTS shippers can be confident enough in their ships to turn into “supporters/believers” that believe their ship is real 100%. For any ship. Like even deep diving into some theories or getting literally 100+ reasons from various believers own mouths for why some ships have to be real, nothing has been big enough to count as proof in my opinion. (Of course this includes Vmin.)

Like... They all have questionable moments. Some more than others, sure. But proof of more than very strong and unusually intimate friendships? No.

You could argue some things seem “gay” or has possible LGBTQ+ connections. Like GCF having a LGBT+ song, or 4 o'clock including a reference to a gay movie, or Vmin's literal gay drama whatever that was. But most of it is just fans zooming in on various things and adding their own meaning to it. Like it has to mean something becaues it is connected to your ship. (But only for your ship.) Sometimes, a lot of times, it’s not even directly connected to the ship... It’s just assumed to be connected to them. It’s a guess or a theory, not a fact.

I get questions from Vminies not knowing things about Vmin all the time, and I myself know I’ll never be able to remember or even see everything that is out there with Vmin. And that’s just from the content we are able to consume to begin with. Beyond that is a lot of guessing and assumption based on the fraction of moments we get. But if some Vminies might not even know where the soulmate label comes from, or that 4 o’clock was written with Jimin in mind or that Vmin seem to casually sleep together in private (if we take Tae’s words for it in the Billboard vlive) it’s clear that something I might see as obvious and common knowledge isn’t. Even further it’s clear that other shippers will know even less about Vmin. 

And how can you dismiss something you don’t even know about?

We all focus on, remember or look for/get exposed to our biases or favorite ships the most. Even if we consume the original content we will likely zoom in and see things for our own ship simply because we look for it. And there is nothing wrong with that, it’s natural. But we need to realize it means we will miss things when it comes to other ships, and need to be aware that we know more and end up in echo chambers of both facts and interpretations for our own ships.

It’s so blatantly obvious to me that many non-vminies have no clue about even some of the biggest moments between Vmin. And again, it’s nothing really odd or bad about that... Until you start to act superior even when you lack a lot of knowledge. So much misinformation is spread this way too...

That’s why even though I personally think I know more about other ships than perhaps the regular person, I still won’t preach or explain too much about other ships. Because just as I know others don’t seem to know or notice a lot about Vmin, I know I work the same in regards to other ships. I can’t possibly even remember everything when it comes to Vmin, so how can I with all other ships too?

If I get questions about tae/kook or ji/kook or any dynamic in BTS I might be able to answer it... But I might also lack the full context or might not even have noticed some things to begin with. Coming to me with questions about other ships will give you a very different view than if you ask a shipper focused on that ship directly. I try to be unbiased, but I can’t. I try to be informed but I can’t remember or notice everything. So even if I feel I know a lot, I might never know enough to get the full context of any situation regarding BTS. 

Of course trying to remember to watch unbiased content is very important and helps to keep a better balance. Or as in my case where I actively looked up other ship theories and felt “I know enough to see there are weird things and I can’t dismiss everything since we don’t know the truth of what it might mean”. Just as I feel a lot of things about Vmin shouldn’t be dismissed. Many other shippers also came to me and talked long and detailed about why their ship is real and my isn’t. Many times I lacked knowledge about specific situations about other ships, but so did they about Vmin. I don’t think you can dismiss something if you don’t even know about it to begin with, and there is a big gap of knowledge between the shipping communities.

I mean, the way hyung x maknae line ships have so many great moments and you barely see them outside of the actual content. At this point all ships in BTS are big and get attention, but they don’t seem to register the same way in people’s minds, with the focus  always being on the three youngest together.

This is the thing about worrying about “rival ships” too... They only matter if there is a moment between the ones you already see as “competition”. Does anyone worry or cry about Vmin or Ji/kook when Ji/hope or Hope/kook get very intimate and sweet moments? No, because they don’t seem to register at all. 

I wasn’t even able to find a gif of this ji/hope moment from Run recently... (And I can’t add twitter videos from desktop)

Yoon/min holding hands and joking about breaking up.

Meanwhile if Tae/kook have fun together or if Ji/kook does something cute all hell breaks lose. We have been tainted by the narratives from shippers. The more we see and hear about other ships the bigger “impact” they will have on us.

If moments like this between other members doesn’t make me feel insecure about Vmin, then why would any similar moment from Ji/kook or Tae/kook? People need to stop hyper focusing on both skinship and “rival ship” moments in general and stop adding importance to them, especially when they don’t even do it equally with all ships.

It’s not that one is good:

One is neutral:

And one is bad:

They all happen and exist and we need to realize that’s how it always has been and likely always will be. Any interpretations of these moments shouldn’t change how you view them when nothing is even confirmed. They all happen so we should all accept that and be happy the members have close and intimate relationships with each other.

I really don’t think people understand my stance on all of this. I literally don’t mind if another ship turns out to be real (even if any ship being real is probably not that likely), because I trust in Vmin’s relationship after having watched it for 5 years. But since nothing is confirmed I still remain of the opinion that Vmin’s relationship and behavior is weirder than other ships IN MY VIEW, based on MY INTERPRETATIONS. But I am totally ok with being proven wrong, because it doesn’t matter what kind of relationship Vmin have as long as I can trust that the love they express for each other is real. Thus I also don’t have to downplay moments between other ships. They are there and that’s nice.

We lack a lot of information for many reasons even though we do get to see a lot. But even knowing all the things we know, I still don’t think it’s enough for any ship moments to count as “proof”. For example with Vmin, they were denied to sing a song because it was essentially “ too gay” and Taehyung complained about it, but that doesn't mean they have to be a couple and is forced apart by Big Hit.

We put weight into things because we have our biases and guesses and we find things because we look for them. Here are just some things that fans of various communities says have to mean something but to me really doesn't have to mean anything even if proven:

Physical intimacy Emotional intimacy Jealousy Screen time Fanservice “Sexual tension” Heart eyes or any looks in general Joking about being a couple Showering together Sleeping together Being alone together Living together Writing songs about each other Secret signs Hidden messages to fans Hiding in rooms

And so on...

But even If you do want to count these things to mean something, at least acknowledge how many of those things other ships have too. Vmin literally have several of these confirmed as well. Many of these moments either have happened or gets speculated to happen between many ships. You might find your ship isn’t as uniqe as you feel it is if you actually start diving deeper. If you did and it makes you doubt your own ships superiority, that’s good. Being sure won’t lead to any good for anyone.

Also if you wanna go there.... If other shipper say these have to mean something they are either ignoring Vmin or more likely doesn’t know or say it doesn’t mean the same if they do it.

Fine if hand holding and cuddling doesn’t make you wonder about Vmin, that’s totally legit. In fact you don’t have to wonder about Vmin unless you want to. But using excuses for why something doesn’t mean something you don’t want it to mean or downplaying moments or automatically calling them platonic and “not the same” doesn’t mean you can’t be wrong about those assumptions. Especially when you might not know the full context of it. Again, it should go both ways and include moments from all relationships.

I am legit curious how ji/kookers and tae/kookers are able to be so confident about their ship being real with Tae doing the things he does towards Jimin.... Like... They mean to tell me Tae and Jimin being soulmates, Tae wanting to sing a romantic Christmas song with Jimin, Tae writing 4 o'clock, Tae having Sweet night and telling us it's a personal song while he keeps calling Jimin his only best friend doesn't even have a possibility to mean something non platonic? 😗

Soulmates + Friends lyrics + "how could I know one day I would wake up feeling more" + "are you my best friend?" + "sweet night is a personal song" + "Of course Jimin is my only friend" + 4 o'clock/dumpling fight + the not allowed Christmas song + "Jimin-ah I like you the most" + "I told him to come sleep next to me as I was too lazy to go to him" + “we told our candid stories as honestly as possible” + “Oppa, why are you still awake? I’m dreaming of Jiminie” = Vmin is probably the best known guess to what relationship Tae might be talking about in Sweet Night.

Is it confirmed though? Can I call it proof? NO! Because while it fits in theory, we don’t know and we don’t have all the information to know. But I can make a damn good case for it and that’s the whole point. I can do that because I look for material, see things and add them together with a narrative. Just as other shippers do with their ships. In the end it’s all just narratives though, not proof.

Getting all these asks recently just confirms that the people who worry, or who says other ships are real, haven’t read even a fraction of my posts or they just don’t understand them. Or let alone noticed major moments between all BTS members that should show that their belief is not as “obvious” as they might think.

I am tired of insecurities when it shouldn’t even matter. If any ship in BTS is real, let’s support them and be happy. It doesn’t change the dynamics and relationships between the other members if some of them happen to be a couple. What we see is still there. The “worst” that can happen is that our ideas and theories prove to be wrong. 

But let’s at least try to be aware of how little we see and know, and especially about ships that aren’t our own. I am writing about Vmin because there is a lot to see, but me focusing on Vmin also gives me a knowledge about them I can’t compare with other ships. Which is why I won’t sit and write essays about other ships, and which is why Vminies coming to me for information about other ships is going to lack the depth I can provide for Vmin. All shippers are biased and all shippers lack information.

If you want to ship do it, if you want to speculate go right ahead. But be aware that there is a big difference between facts and knowledge and narratives and speculation.

I hope you found this an interesting read. And if you are considering sending me asks worried about Vmin because of interactions between other members or you want to send “statments” or explenations about other ships being real, just know you are barking up the wrong tree.

[cassandraclare]

Not too spoilery, but very long!

fieidofpoppies said: I was hoping to get some clarification about the LGBT situation in TLH’s background. 

What exactly is the Clave's position on homosexuality? Alec struggles with people's opinion in 2008, so I guess in 1900ish things are definitely not rosey, but to what extent? We know that being gay is considered a crime in mundane London at the time and I'm guessing that is not the case for the Shadowhunter world, so how seriously is it a problem? What does it/ would it mean for our characters to be out?

Okay, so I’ve gotten a few of this question, leading me to believe it is A Conversation that needs some addressing. It’s a complicated issue so I’m going to try to break it down in parts.

There is no “The Clave’s position on homosexuality” that is unchanging: it has changed, advanced and regressed through history just like you, know, regular human history. :) If you’re asking about the Clave’s position on LGBT Shadowhunters in 1903, we will get to that.

Just because Alec is struggling in 2007 doesn’t mean things were worse for Anna in 1903. The idea that culture moves inevitably forward towards tolerance and progressivism is an oversimplification. We see it assumed all around, so it’s easy to believe it, but actually it’s more of a two steps forward, one step back scenario. There are always periods of cultural progress, marked by periods of cultural regress. If someone had told me when I was a teenager that a woman’s right to choose would be more trammeled and in danger in 2020 America then in 1989 I wouldn’t have believed it; it is, however, the truth. We are in a more regressive period culturally now than we were ten years ago; LGBT rights are more under threat. This isn’t the first time in history this has happened and it won’t be the last: “During the golden years of the Weimar Republic [Germany's government from 1919 to 1933] Berlin was considered an LGBT+ haven, where gays and lesbians achieved an almost dizzying degree of visibility in popular culture” — but by 1934 LGBT+ Germans were being persecuted and eventually would be sent to death camps with Jews, communists, and other “undesirables.”

Alec is living in a time in which a regressive, conservative group that his own parents belonged to nearly toppled the more progressive aspects of the Clave. He already comes from a family in exile, during a time in which progressive and regressive aspects of the Clave are battling each other and the situation with Downworlders is explosive. Four years after Alec comes out, the fascist Cohort rises to power and splits the Clave in half. Nothing like that is happening in 1903: there is a progressive Consul in power, demon attacks are low, there is generally peace with Downworld.

It is reasonable that Alec would have concerns about how the Clave at large might treat him, and also have concerns about family and friends, given his parents’ past. And while Anna and Matthew etc. might have similar concerns about coming out to the whole Clave, which they haven’t, they are not concerned about their particular group of friends, and have mixed concerns about family. (Also, we have plenty of characters who have been just as worried about coming out as Alec was: Charles, Alastair, Ariadne. We don’t yet know Thomas’ attitude. Everyone who doesn’t consider themselves a “Bohemian” isn’t taking this very lightly, and even Matthew isn’t “out” to anyone except his friends. It’s not like the Wentworths know he’s bisexual.)

None of this is to say it was “easy” to be LGBT+ during the early 1900’s. It isn’t easy now. It’s to say that “Well, it sucked across the board then and now it’s great across the board!” isn’t true, and ignores the significance of context in the lives of characters — and people. There’s a great moment in the movie Colette (set in the 1890′s and early 1900′s) that focuses on Mathilde de Morny, Colette’s lover. Mathilde was assigned female at birth (academic scholars are widely divided on whether Mathile was transgender so I’m going to be gender-neutral here.) Mathilde dresses in men’s clothes, and openly romances women, but in this particular moment, Mathilde speaks about the fact that if Mathilde were not rich and titled, it might be a problem. But given Mathilde’s social status and power, and the Bohemian set of people Mathilde spends time with, it’s not. Colette herself also dresses in men’s clothes and is open about her same-sex romances, even kissing Mathilde onstage at the Moulin Rouge.

(Colette and Mathilde, 1907.)

The artist Romaine Brooks wore men’s clothes, even painting herself in them: according to the Smithsonian “By 1905, she had made a name for herself in Paris as a painter of women, some of whom were her lovers. Her most visible and lasting relationship was with the American poet Natalie Barney, who also lived in Paris.” (There’s a reason the characters are often talking about Paris or visiting Paris: being LGBT+  wasn’t illegal in France, and Paris was a gay and lesbian mecca, complete with LGBT+ cafes, high society, celebrities, and so on.)

People like Anna existed in the mundane world in 1903. It’s important to realize; this isn’t something I wrote because I’d have liked it to be true and historically accurate, it is true and historically accurate. It’s also true that even though male homosexuality was illegal in England in 1903, there were plenty of gay men who were out to their friends and community. Lytton Strachey (part of the Bloomsbury Group which included Virginia Woolf) “spoke openly about his homosexuality with his Bloomsbury friends, and had relationships with a variety of men.”  Which isn’t to say he spoke openly about it to everyone —  just that there have always been spaces within “mainstream” society where it was safe to be queer: Anna and Matthew, by going to the Hell Ruelle, by standing somewhat apart from their contemporaries save those they already trust, are inhabiting those spaces.

Now, if the question becomes: what happens if everyone in the Clave finds out the sexualities of the LGB+ characters in TLH? Well, first, they won’t be arrested; it’s not illegal. But that hardly covers the whole issue. We look at what happened to Oscar Wilde and think, horrors, as well we should — had he not sued the Marquess of Queensberry, though, he probably would have lived out his life with society turning a blind eye to his affairs with men. What happened to him is fucking terrible. Yet even today, there are celebrities who remain in the closet — though their queerness may well be an open secret to their friends, family and colleagues — not because they’re worried about being arrested, but because of the fear of what the damage to their career might be were it publicly known. And how is that so different from the situation Charles finds himself in? He’s pretty clear that if people knew he were gay, he couldn’t be Consul. He wouldn’t get the votes. In the same way, it’s likely that the other LGB+ characters would face societal disapproval and issues with their families. That’s not really about the “Clave’s official position” though, any more than a politician today not wanting to come out is worried about being arrested rather than losing their career. The official position is important, but it’s not the only indicator or generator of societal, systemic bigotry.  (” It turns out that one of the worst times to be a homosexual - that is, in terms of being at risk from the law - was in the run-up to and aftermath of the liberalisation of the 1960s [when homosexuality was decriminalized].” )

So if you made it this far: what I’m basically saying is three things: one, that any comparison to Alec has to take into account Alec’s specific family situation, the Uprising, and who the Clave and Inquisitor are in 2007. And that I can’t say what it means for the characters of TLH to be out because it’s going to mean different things, and have different repercussions, for all of them. I can say “They won’t be in trouble with the Law”, which is true, but in terms of their family situations, their personal goals and dreams, and where they are socially, it would be different for each one of them. 

And third, that we can’t assume that progress is one inevitable forward march. That things will always be more tolerant, less oppressive, in “the future” simply because it’s the future.  While we can believe that “the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice” it’s important to remember that rights can be abridged, freedoms taken away, times of tolerance and harmony can end, bigotry and nationalism can rise. To assume progress is inevitable is, I worry, to forget to fight for it. And we can never forget to fight.

[Recommended reading: Strangers: Homosexual Love in the Nineteenth Century, by Graham Robb.]

[juiceastronaut]

Okay so. I watched Q-force. And I have no idea what I think about it.

Imma just be rambling so I'll break down the characters and my likes/dislikes about them before giving my plot breakdown at the end. Only the main/prominent ones because I don't have time.

Steve Maryweather-Easily the best character out of them, with Deb being a close second. He could've very easily fallen into the trope of being someone who was incompetent but expected the world anyway, but he doesn't. He graduated top of his class, and despite his quirks is a genuinely competent team leader, and wants the best for his team. He wants to prove that he and his team are competent enough to get recognition, and has a genuine faith in the people around him. It was refreshing to see him hold his team in a genuine high regard, where a lot of times it's like "We're shit but lets do this thing now" He's a genuinely well-rounded character, and (and forgive me if this isn't the best way to frame this) it feels like being gay is an important part of his character, without encompassing the whole thing. I thought Benji and his relationship was super cute and I was sad when they broke up. I was afraid he was going to be, like a second but worse Twink with the stereotyping but gladly fell away from that.

Deb-I thought her and her wife were super cute (though I hate how the wife is designed ngl adjafkldajfd). I liked Debs character, but I feel like she had a lot of racial stereotyping that wouldn't be inherently obvious unless you were looking for them, her being the strong one, and also the "mama" type at the same time. No one treated her with disrespect, and her lesbianism seemed to be more authentic but I feel like there wasn't a lot of thought put into what these tropes were and why they were bad. Her being black and making her the mama type, as well as the big strong type could be read as tasteless. Again, I really liked her character but these were some things I noticed while watching.

Twink- You know, I didn't really like him at first, I thought he was the epitome of all the bad stereotyping (though I'm just glad him and Mary didn't get put into the same category). His humor isn't my taste, and it just kinda seemed like someone for half of his lines went "what twitter stan language can we put in here?" And sometimes it was a bit too random for my tastes. However! I do like that his drag was considered important and was an integral part to a lot of missions they went on, and not just "Ah look at that dumb gay trying to find reasons to dress in drag." His talents and expertise were both respected and, save for Buck (which his whole point was supposed to be offensive anyway) no one undermined Twink for his femininity. His back story is also kinda random but did play a role in the missions as well. Still, personally think he's the worst character. Plus, he's French so minus four-twenties amount of points.

Stat-You know, in a show where everyone was stating what letter they were every few seconds I was surprised that I had to look up that Stat was trans. I...liked her character for the most part, except the part where she was fucking a robot. Kinda weird ngl, outta left field, and with her being trans I wonder if her having that sort of relationship is problematic for her. Love her design tho, love me a hacker girl. She's also listed as "ambiguously gay" tho showed to have mostly girl love interests but, okay.

Buck-He's the straight guy, emotionally repressed haha and he's bigoted. Did think it was funny later on when he was more "accepting" but managed to be even more infuriating about it. Tied with Twink as worse character but you know they tried to do stuff with him.

Vee-Really liked me a boss lady, but kinda weird how they bait-and-switched us with her actually being a lesbian, then go "no she's straight tho" in regards to Karen. I thought her and Mary's relationship was cute, wish I saw more of it. But she did feel like a random plot device in later seasons, what with her disappearing and reappearing when it was plot relevant. (Tho she HOTOHOTHOTHOT bikini episode WOOOWEEEE)

....

Okay, so now the plot....which. it had one?

It felt like it was flip flopping back n forth about whether it wanted to take itself seriously or not, and it seemed to decide on serious more towards the end, but then it would have this random plot element that would be so out of left field it would pull me out of my suspension of disbelief. See the whole "Back cracking to unlock memories" plot point. This back and forth on whether it would be a comedy or not I think weakened both categories it tried to play into.

If I had to compare the show to anything it would probably be Futurama, but the thing with Futurma is, its set in the future, so you're suspension of disbelief is allowed to stretch a bit more because all the wacky quirky stuff can be attributed to future shenanigans. Q-force, to my knowledge, is set in the modern day, which makes the wacky stuff that much wacker, because it's set in our modern times, which you apply the rules of everyday life to.

A lot of the problems that I had with Q-Force is, in the attempt to write specifically about the "gay experience" revealed that the writers have really only had a very specific experience of interacting with gay ppl, what I call the "Urban Gay" experience.

The fact they're in West Hollywood, and all the things that were listed as "universal gay experiences" but were only things that you'd be exposed to if you were in the city. I think a flavor of "white gay" can be implemented here too, which Q force has exactly one black woman, who manages to be the only lesbian.

That coupled with the fact that, there's a difference between having Twink naturally being a drag queen, the whole team being gay to some degree, and the fact they interact with the gay community often without Drawing Attention to all of those things and self-congratulating itself on concluding it. Funnily enough, Q-Force had examples of doing this right and doing this right. Right way: In the second or third episode where Mary found that guy with the flash drive to the uranium in it and seduced him in the gay bar. Relevant that it was gay without overtly drawing attention to it. Wrong-Way: Having Pride go on while Girl Boss was trying to take over the world.

And, for the show that promoted itself as representing the gay experience, there were...two gay men, one lesbian, one trans person, one straight guy and...no bisexual people. Also no nonbinary people. Like of course it's unrealistic to include every single identity but you're one bisexual person who appeared for one episode and was promptly blown up. And also showed to be...more off than the other characters, what with the stealing of silverware and all. Just, bisexual people are already forgotten enough as it is and not including them in the show, but you include two gay men just kinda reads as tasteless to me (as a bisexual person, obviously).

Which makes it so weird that Stat was left "ambiguously gay" when she could've easily been bisexual (which still would be problematic because of the robot-fucking but at least you got the B in there somewhere in the main group)

Overall, it tried to market itself as the "be all end all" of what it was like to be gay, but ended up excluding the exact people that get excluded in real-life lgbt spaces. This combined with the indecision with what kind of show it wanted to be managed to make it fall short. If you arent the very specific type of gay person who lives in a city environment and doesn't fit the stereotypes showed you're not going to feel "seen" by the show.

Weirdly though, I didn't hate watching it, and I would probably watch another season if they managed to make one. The parts that did work, I think worked really well, and even the bad parts just read as tasteless, and not actively terrible. If they focused less on making "hey I'm gay" jokes every three seconds and just let each character be what they are I think the show would be stronger for it. And I think they'd find less problems overall if they did that too. In the mean time I'll just be here side-eyeing the whole thing.

Edit: I forgot to mention, and this is a problem a lot of adult TV shows fall into, that because they got the clear to show nudity/sex they felt like they *had* to show nudity and to a lesser extent sex every episode. So just that whole "Haha adult=sex obviously."

Oh! And this generally goes for the whole "shove it in your face" part, but a lot of the characters who are bigoted were shown to be. Very blatantly so. And not to say there isn't blatantly bigoted ppl of course they are but I don't think that's where you see a lot of bigotry nowadays. This was sort of touched on during the show but more of a jokey manner, but I think it would've been more realistic if we had more "girl with a gay best friend" kinda bigotry as opposed to the "I'm literally hurling slurs at you" bigotry, especially since they're in Cali.

[gayregis]

Honestly if you just wanted to revisit your thoughts on Eternal Flame and its homiesexual text/subtext, I would be delighted. I love that short story and I love hearing your thoughts on the stories aodnsjsjabsjx

fghjkl i just think it was a story very centered on geralt and dandelion’s friendship and it did so in a manner which exceeded the sort of generally accepted norms of “friendship” and went into “being gay for your best friend”

i mean the story literally begins by them both being dumped by their girlfriends, but not too upset about their relationship drama because they have each other for company now. they plan to spend the day and night together, and throughout the story they have the general geralt and dandelion friendship interactions - trying to get some food and drink, joking around, dandelion being overly dramatic or preoccupied with sex and geralt being mopey and unamused. when things go wrong and there is conflict in the story, they of course still are spending the day together and thinking of a way to deal with the problem. overall, the story is a look into day-to-day life of when geralt and dandelion run into each other and hang out.

another thing of note is how dandelion hypes geralt up during when they meet tellico-in-biberveldt’s-form, calling him the terror of strigas and werewolves and all, which is a nice and awarding description for a man whose job it was to kill some shit in a sewer last chapter. of course, it’s dandelion (overdramatic and flowery with language), and they’re close friends, so of course he is going to describe geralt as thus, but it’s a reminder of how positively dandelion views geralt and how he both doesn’t see him as repugnant for being a witcher (as is the case with many geralt encounters) and isn’t ashamed to have a witcher as his best friend (as would be the case with many others, who treat witchers like bad omens), and also since it’s dandelion, it’s telling that he doesn’t let his own arrogance get in the way of lauding his friend with his proud titles and descriptions. although dandelion is self-loving, he is not so overwhelmingly so that he would ever refuse to acknowledge or downplay geralt’s presence.

another thing is how, when geralt, dandelion, and biberveldt are visited by chapelle and the men of the eternal fire, dandelion begs geralt to not start a fight with them because it will end in disaster, and geralt refuses to promise him that, and when chapelle speaks to him, he is internally very aggressive and alert, very displeased. of course, he is geralt, he doesn’t love authority and he dislikes the eternal flame for their persecution of nonhumans... but the aggression he feels towards chapelle reminds me of the aggression he felt towards toruviel in edge of the world when she broke dandelion’s lute, or in season of storms when dandelion has a knife to his throat, it’s only when dandelion is afraid or hurt that geralt really gets aggressive.

but the climax of the story is geralt literally being inable to enact violence towards tellico for the compounded reasons of “i value innocent life too much” and “the embodiment of this value of life is my best friend” ... 

the fact that geralt is pretty aggressive still towards tellico when he turns into him, but once tellico turns into dandelion geralt just... stops fighting and completely rules out any physical harm from the equation. he practically “gives up” the fight, it’s like tellico changing into dandelion was all geralt needed in order to be persuaded, because it’s the only form that he would listen to. after tellico switches forms to that of dandelion, geralt listens to him, and he also is not described as making any sudden movements, he doesn’t think as if he’s in a fight anymore, the narration is not that of a “fight scene” - something i recognize from when geralt is in a fight is that the prose switches to a certain point of view of his where his actions and options are narrated (e.g., in a grain of truth when he fights vereena, the sword of destiny where he fights the dryad scalpers). he instead hears tellico’s every word out, and “reluctantly nods,” and “says nothing.” he’s practically frozen compared to what he was prepared for just a moment ago when tellico took his form, when he threatened to carry him out of the city in a handcart.

and what makes it even more suggestive is that this wasn’t a random guess from tellico that “maybe if i take dandelion’s form he’ll lay off because they’re friends!” ... no, this was strategy that he came up with from literally taking geralt’s form and reading his mind - “i took over your thoughts, only briefly, but it was sufficient, do you know what i’m going to do now?” - tellico, after being in geralt’s form, immediately makes the decision to change forms into that of dandelion, because he knew geralt’s mind while he was in his form. that means that tellico read geralt’s thoughts only briefly but from this inside view of geralt’s mind, knowing what his greatest fears, loves, dreams, hopes, passions, regrets, etc. are... he thought it would save his life to change into dandelion, because he knew from geralt’s mind that geralt would listen to him in that form.

additionally, after this occurs, geralt... doesn’t tell dandelion in the falling action of the story. he had the chance to, when dandelion drew near, he might have smirked and said something like “don’t look too closely at his boots” (tellico-in-dandelion’s-form’s cordovan boots were sticking out of the carpet that geralt rolled him up in, so dandelion could have recognized them if he paid attention, since he seems to be so caring about his footwear as in the beginning chapter)... this raises the question why geralt wouldn’t tell him about what happened, why he wouldn’t communicate to dandelion about this, maybe warning him that tellico could change into him in an effort to evoke sympathy, or to break it to dandelion that his famous persona had been stolen for a little while. dandelion literally jokes and asks geralt why vespula was so surprised to see him, asking what was wrong with her (vespula was frightened because she smacked tellico-in-dandelion’s-form with the copper pan, but then saw dandelion coming down the road... double vision). geralt could have easily explained to him then, he had the perfect opportunity to say, “oh, dudu changed into your form and so vespula was scared for she saw two of you, [insert biting sarcastic comment here about how one dandelion is certainly enough, and how he would be scared seeing two of dandelion as well].” ... but geralt doesn’t tell him, and that makes me think that tellico taking dandelion’s form was a moment of emotional vulnerability for him, something that geralt doesn’t want to share or joke about, something that was uncomfortable for him. that makes me ask the question how geralt emotionally took that confrontation in the alleyway, what he felt about his own actions (or rather, inaction), and why he might be reluctant to share about that.

i think there is also this tension of the myth of the doppler being about the physical world, changes to a physical form, a form which is tangible and real. it’s not only that tellico evoked the image of dandelion, but that he was him - and the narration from geralt’s point of view seems to... lurk on a lot of not only physical characteristics that he noticed, but mannerisms and behavior that he knew instinctively as being those of dandelion. he describes his curly hair, his smile, his laugh ... the focus on physicality, body, face, and how one exists in the physical world, intimate details like those described just seem very out of place for someone who you’d only consider a best friend, a platonic relationship. one could argue that this is just standard narration for describing the changing of a form for a doppler, but the same style of narration was not given when dudu changed into biberveldt, or when he changed into geralt. additionally, things like smile, laugh, song, and style of flirting are very close and positive details, and other more “neutral” aspects like height and weight and clothes could have been described instead. this suggests that the most striking elements about dandelion to geralt are his curly hair, his insolent smile, his rippling laugh, his blue eyes, his song, and his flirting ... which are ... intimate to say the least

and of course the story ends with them going to a brothel! which continues these themes (two themes which dandelion always invites) of the comedic and the physical. what’s also striking to me is that at the very end of the story, dandelion asks geralt if he’s coming along or what, and geralt smiles to him and says he will join him with pleasure. geralt smiling is honestly a rare event (though it does happen, in dandelion’s character debut in the voice of reason he smiles at him), so i think it’s something to pay attention to. additionally, the line translated in the UK edition is “right, very satisfactory. geralt, are you coming?” and “i’ll come with pleasure,” which focuses on the words ‘satisfactory’ and ‘pleasure’ which are also words i wouldn’t relegate to being solely platonic.

additionally, this might be a bad take but i’m going to say it anyways because i’m gay so i can say what i want regarding lgbt themes ig: the ending of the story is that chapelle is actually a doppler who has taken chapelle’s form, since the real chapelle has died. tellico beseeches geralt, in dandelion’s form, to let him live and live amongst the people of novigrad, because he’s tired of being dehumanized and persecuted, and just wants to live in peace. there is a theme surrounding the dopplers as they are shapeshifters and chameleons, having to change who they are in order to blend in with the rest of society. again, this might be a bad take, but this kind of strikes me as an analogy for being lgbt, because when you are lgbt in a homo/transphobic society, you have to hide who you are and adapt your outward appearance into something that others will accept, and you are persecuted even though you are harmless and don’t mean to cause anyone trouble. of course, this could be a wider analogy about persecution and being marginalized in general (cultural assimilation, anyone?) and compring any marginalized people to nonhumans sucks (wouldn’t be the first or only time sapkowski went there, though), but ig as a gay person i found myself relating to the plight of the dopplers. the ending message of the story is also positive, something like there is hope and life in the world despite hatred (re: tellico’s ending to dandelion’s ballad) and the dopplers, the persecuted ones, are actually everywhere in society despite appearances that they’re not (not the best execution because you know figures of authority suck but whatever)

TLDR eternal flame is a little fruity to me because

geralt and dandelion want to be in each other’s company (as always)

geralt and dandelion’s relationship is again characterized by ability to be casual and comfortable in each other’s presence, working together through difficulty and conflict, and standing up for one another/being proud on the other’s behalf

tellico strategically takes dandelion’s form to evoke kindness and respect in geralt, and it works completely

geralt’s pov focuses on dandelion’s intimate physical and behavioral traits

geralt smiles and tells dandelion “i’ll come with pleasure”

vague lgbt themes about the dopplers

[longinglook]

I may or may not have spent my entire Sunday binge watching all of I told sunset about you and Gaya sa pelikula and now I have so many thoughts and feelings that I need to write about them so here we go! Under a read more (if tumblr allows me to) because it’s 2k words hehe

First of all, I knew next to nothing about both shows before starting them. I had seen a couple of gifs here and there, but really had no idea what I was in for.

I started with I told sunset about you, which has 3 episodes out of 5 out. All I knew is that it was going to be beautiful and possibly sad, and it was. Everything about this show is so high quality, from the audio to the dialogue to the locations to the acting, just wow. The production is better than a lot of movies I’ve seen, and every technical aspect is perfect. I am really loving the plot so far as well, I find the childhood friendship to stubborn rivalry to grown up friendship again very relatable. I think it’s a very common experience for a lot of non straight folks to develop an extremely close bond with a same sex friend when you’re too young to realize what you’re actually feeling for them until you’re a lot older and suddely the jealousy and possessivenes all make sense.

I love the recurring themes sprinkled throughout the episodes, starting from the chinese vocabulary that expresses the core thoughts of the two main characters: rival, intimacy, secret, male protagonist, as promised. They could easily be the episode titles, or the names of imaginary sections the show could be divided into. It’s a great way to integrate metaphors and deeper meaning into the plot.

That’s how most of the communication goes in this show, deep emotions are never conveyed through words because words are scary and loud and they can’t be taken back once they’re out there. The plot advances though stares and gestures and touch and gorgeous shots of the landscape. The pace is slow with hour-long episodes that could each be a movie of their own. This worried me a bit before starting, and I have to admit that at times I struggled to stay focused, especially during scenes that set the mood but don’t do much plot-wise. This is just a personal preference, though, and in no way I see it as a flaw. 

The dancing around each other the main characters do, sometimes literal, is frustrating but it determines an emotional build up that’s just starting to reach its peak. This is one of those shows that has me screaming if only they talked to each other, but the silences and unspoken words are so well directed and acted that it works. I struggle a lot with keeping in mind that they’re still in high school, they’re very young and I can’t expect them to act rationally just yet. 

I was really worried about Teh possibly going the insufferable Theory-of-love-khai way, and I am still not 100% sold on him. When he started helping Oh-aew again it felt like he was just doing it to make himself feel better about the whole thing. It was frustrating to see him so possessive and jealous while also so deeply in denial about his own feelings, to the point where he had me rooting for Bas instead. He was getting better, but then he fled at the end of episode 3 and now I have no clue what’s going to happen next. About this, I really have no idea if they’re going for a happy ending or a sad one. I’m really hoping it will be good, because so far there has been barely any emotional payoff for all the repressed longing and misunderstanding the show has put us through.

I do like their dynamic a lot though, I have a weak spot for childhood friends reconnecting and an ever weaker spot for informal mentor/mentee relationships. Oh-aew asking Teh to tutor him until he passes the admission exam was an almost exact mirror of Yuri on ice Yuri begging Victor to be his coach until he retires and I loved that a lot.

Now on to the one issue I have with this show: it feels too much like an art film. It reminds me of Moonlight and Call me by your name, in the way that I wasn’t able to connect with those movies because they are too perfect. They are so beautiful and carefully crafted that I can’t fully immerse myself in them. There’s a filter that stops me from relating to the characters and constantly reminds me that this is not reality. It’s pretty, it’s extremely well done, but it feels like art. It has some quirks, some scenes that feel too artificial. One scene in particular, the one where Teh buries his head in the paper Oh-aew wrote with his coconut scented pen to sniff it, which is a direct parallel to Call me by your name, bothered me in particular. Just as it felt over-the-top and purposefully weird in the movie, so it feels in the show. It’s a way of showcasing how a confused teen deals with attraction he barely understands, it’s raw and animalistic in a way, but it’s so quirky that all it accomplishes is to remind me that I’m watching an lgbt show. It makes me wonder if a scene like this would make sense in a straight relationship because here it seems to highlight how different and primal his attraction is. If I had to pinpoint it, I’d say that I have a problem with media showcasing queerness though peculiar, purposefully awkward scenes like these instead of normal kissing and cuddling.

Overall, I can’t wait to see how this show ends and I still think it’s one of the best bls to air in 2020, if not ever. It’s refreshing to see something with a big budget used well! So far my rating is 8/10, which I know is a lot lower than what everyone else seems to think but it’s still very much subject to change! Just hoping they won’t pull a Make our days count, but I doubt they’ll go there.

And now Gaya sa pelikula. Wow. Again, I knew next to nothing about this show before watching, and I was coming from a 3 hour I told sunset about you binge watch, so the bar was pretty high.

And boy, did this show deliver. I was blown away by the depth and the humor of it. It feels like the writers had fun taking all sorts of common tropes and stereotypes just to show everyone how well they can be evolved and made complex. Two strangers who somehow find themselves sharing an apartment sounds like the start of so many fanfictions out there, but it’s so well executed and interesting that you don’t even stop to think about how weak the premises for their meeting are. It doesn’t matter and it’s not even that far-fetched, either. The sister and the neighbor are also two characters that start off as extra stereotyped, but in just a few scenes they unveil an incredible depth and backstory. It blew me away.

Each character is so realistic. Everything they do and say makes sense, they all have their reasons and their past and they react accordingly, it’s so coherent. It’s impressive how everything takes place inside the house and you barely realize it because things happen and the plot moves anyways, and the way information about external events and people is conveyed is so seamless that you don’t even notice it. In only 7 episodes (so far) they have managed to give everyone a complex background and personality through the use of objects and small details and wow don’t get me started on the music.

The soundtrack is SO GOOD. I never really pay attention to music in shows but it plays a very important role here in my opinion and, well, it’s exactly the kind of music I like listening to and ahhh I just spent 4 hours playing the first kiss song on loop so I might be biased. Right from the start in episode 1, when Karl gives in to Vlad’s music and starts dancing to it, it’s established that it’s an important element to the mood of each scene. I love how the dancing I talked about for I told sunset about you comes back here, but while I saw it as a hesitant dancing around each other there, here it’s the opposite, it’s freeing and it’s about accepting yourself. And the end of episode 6 highlights this, with the beautiful quote “You are entitled to a love that lets you dance without fear and shame.” It made me cry a looooot.

I think the development of their relationship is masterfully done. It doesn’t happen too quickly nor too slowly. Karl goes through some needed shocks that act as his wake up call. When I’m watching bl shows I care the most about them feeling real and relatable. I don’t want to feel like they were written by a straight person trying to guess what it’s like to be gay. Now I didn’t look anything up about the Gaya sa pelikula writers, but I’d be very surprised if they were straight. I can relate to both Karl and Vlad for different aspects of their stories and their worries and thoughts. There was one part in particular that hit so close that I had to take a few breaks because it hurt too much. I am a lesbian, I’ve had relationship with a girl that lasted over a year, I am out to some friends but not all. I never came out to my parents, who are both very open minded and friends with a lot of gay people and would love me just as much if I told them, and yet I can’t. It’s not just that, I am terrified by the idea of them already knowing or being able to guess. When Karl freaked out over his uncle guessing, it hit me so hard because I’ve felt the same way so many times.

Episode 7 was amazing. I hate badly written drama the most, and 99% of shows can’t come up with any good reason for drama but they have to put it in there anyways and it sucks. This was the complete opposite, I adored it and I say this as a lover of fluff. It feels right, I think it’s an issue that would come up between two people like them. They are both right and the only thing that could happen there is what actually went down. I definitely think things will be fixed by the end and I am looking forward to it, but I am very glad this issue was included because it’s so important and so true to many lgbt people’s lives.

Another aspect I absolutely adored are the multiple references to lgbt theory and language, and Vlad has some of the best lines I’ve ever heard coming from a bl. When he tells Karl not to be afraid of the word, when he explains that “you don’t look gay” isn’t a compliment, when he scolds his sister for not acknowledging the things she used to say to him by covering them up with her ally act, those are all such important and educative moments that I hope everyone listens to. I love that Vlad is not correcting some ignorant bad guy, but it’s his accepting and loving friends and family that make the mistakes, because sometimes being supportive your own way isn’t enough if you’re not actively learning from the ones you want to support.

This is a 10/10 for me right now. I can’t find anything I don’t like about it. It never feels boring, it never feels overdone, it never feels cheap or unoriginal. It went straight to the top of my favorite bls.

And now I can’t help but compare the two a bit, because yes they are two different shows but right now the relationships they portray have reached the same point: there has been a climax and now the one who is more confused about his sexuality is panicking and taking a step back. It’s a coincidence that I watched both shows on the same day when their last aired episodes end in such a similar way, but it really leads me to compare the two. I don’t want to put them one against each other or say which one did it better because that’s not the point of this, they are both two amazing and important shows who are excelling in what they’re doing. 

Gaya sa pelikula is down to earth, it’s explicit and it’s straight to the point in explaining what’s going on inside each character’s head. It feels like watching real people deal with real struggles. I told sunset about you is a lot more subtle and quiet, and since we don’t really have a clear insight in the characters’ heads sometimes it’s hard to completely understand what’s going on with them. It’s a completely different way of narrating, and while Gaya sa pelikula makes me feel like I’m a part of the events, I told sunset about you feels like I’m just spectating from an outside perspective. They are different choices, but one of them ends up feeling a lot more emotional to me than the other.

To wrap it up, I highly recommend both shows and I can’t wait to see how they’ll end! They are both among the best shows of the year, both free of all those annoyingly stereotyped characters and plot points that most bls tend to overuse.

[leverage-ot3]

to all the leverage fans out there, I thought I’d throw out some recommendations of other shows that y’all might like

this is completely centered around the lgbt aspects of leverage (how none of the characters are straight, how there is a canon ot3, etc), because I know other people have recommended white collar and stuff but I haven’t personally seen that and I’m just a humble lgbt wanting to share more gay shows with y’all

1. wynonna earp (my sideblog is @angelicearps)

just renewed for a fourth season after two years (this feeling is very familiar to leverage fans)

the first episode of season four aired last night and IM SCREAMING the writers served us a five course meal

the main love story includes waverly earp, a CANON (officially as of 4.01) bisexual girl falling in love with nicole haught, a lesbian cop-turned-sheriff (that’s a slight spoiler, so sorry about that) and both of them are main characters

wynonna earp, another main character, has a complicated relationship with two different men and is not slut shamed for it and is never put down about it

I’m serious- the healthiest and most stable relationship in the show is between waverly and nicole, so wlw nation rise

wynonna and waverly are descendants of the great gunslinger (and demon killer) wyatt earp, who ended up getting a curse on his future generations. the story of the show is centered around wynonna being the chosen heir having to fight demons and try to break the curse for good

doc holiday is another main character- yes, that doc holiday. he’s one of wynonna’s love interests and he has such a pure and loving relationship with waverly. he’d literally die for her and move heaven and hell to make sure she’s safe (that’s literally canon)

jeremy comes in around season two if I remember correctly. canon gay. gets in a relationship with another canon gay character whose name I am blanking on. they are very loving and very pure

literally, in 4.01, when armed military men are breaking into the earp homestead and he doesn’t know what to do, he literally says: “gays only?” lol they didn’t respect that answer

the show has so many good quips and one-liners. so many hilarious lines. it can be an angsty show at times but they definitely balance it out with humor and wlw softness between waverly and nicole

wynonna has a baby in season two and literally calls herself a milf

it also made fans faint because they have been calling nicole “daddy” for like six years and nicole was referred to as daddy three (3) times in 4.01

this show is NOT AFRAID to say things like gay, lesbian, etc. at one point someone tweeted at emily andreas (the writer) asking her to amp up the gay energy and she responded that she would

literally, emily andreas is on the same level as john rogers with trustability and dedication to fans

emily andreas heard of the bury your gays trope and did us one better: unkillible gays trope. the gays are unkillable.

2. motherland: fort salem (my sideblog is @fortsalem)

(HELL YEAH I WAS ONE OF THE FIRST IN THE FANDOM AND I GOT THE HANDS DOWN B E S T URL)

au where during the salem witch trials a witches named sarah alder made an agreement with the government that witches would serve for the us army in exchange for not being systematically hunted down and killed

THIS IS NOT MILITARY PROPAGANDA. sorry, I just had to make this point early on because it’s not even though it might seem like it in the beginning. literally by the end of the season you see it’s very corrupt

since this is an alternate history of the united states, in this universe there are no heteronorms. literally, there’s literally no words for lesbian and bisexual that they use because it’s so normalized and common and accepted that there’s no need for terms like that

the main love story is of star-crossed raelle and scylla. raelle comes from a poor family and is a talented healer, and (this isn’t technically a spoiler because you find out in episode one) scylla is a member of the spree

the spree is a terrorist organization of witches that protests the compliance witches are forced into by having to join the military or die/be imprisoned

scylla is supposed to turn raelle to the “dark side” but falls so deeply in love with her that she can’t do it (THATS TRUE LOVE FOLKS)

the students at fort salem (the military school) are divided into groups of three: the main group being focused on is composed of raelle, tally, and abigail

tally craven is a pure-hearted baby and I’d die for her. she is very idealistic about fighting in the military (but don’t worry that’s fixed by the end of the season)

abigail bell weather comes from a high military family and is kinda really stuck up about it, but she’s humbled a lot by the end of the season. this girl has LAYERS (they all do, but abigail goes through a lot and goes from very stuck up and stuck up the military’s ass to questioning everything she knows)

the trio starts off rocky, especially between raelle and abigail, because raelle blames abigail’s mother for her mother’s death (her mother’s unit was led by abigail’s mother)

the beltane episode literally hits you in the face with how there are literally no heteronorms whatsoever. they do this sacred dance where by the end they will end up with the people they are destined to spend the celebration with (“trust the dance”). raelle makes friends with a gay guy and they spend the celebration making fun of the sex noises around them and become gay friends for life. abigail has sex with two (2) guys who kiss each other. a group of four girls went off together. a group of two girls and a guy went off together. and sex isn’t shamed. at all. in fact, it’s respected as a part of life. and y’all, literally this representation was OFF THE CHARTS

the witch’s most powerful tool is their voice,,, think about that for a minute

it’s an all girls school so there are like no guys whatsoever minus the beltane episode and a couple others

EMPOWERED WOMEN (of all ages and ethnicities too)

3. siren (my sideblog is @polymarinelove)

imma start off by saying that season three doesn’t exist. don’t watch season three. don’t do it. the disappointment is real

ANYWAYS

the central love story is between an interracial couple (a white guy and his black girlfriend that has a native american stepfather) that turns into a loving polyamorous relationship

maddie, the girlfriend, is amazing and incredibly smart and the first two seasons (and the beginning of the third) accentuate that and they never downplay her because she’s a black woman like many shows and movies do. she’s a smart stem woman and we stan her so hard. she’s also bisexual.

ben, the guy, comes from a rich family that are basically the hotshots of the town and own the fishing company that the community works for. his dad is hella untrustable. ben doesn’t trust him and neither should you. he is kindhearted and smart and respectful, and at one point teaches a merman about consent after being kissed by him (and he didn’t even #nohomo it which was AMAZING)

now to the mermaids

mermaids are apex predators. they are very dangerous. they are very strong. they’re also wickedly smart, canon smarter than humans

the story begins when donna, ryn’s sister, is captured by a fishing boat and carted off to a military facility. ryn comes to land to try to find and save her. (she literally choses her name because she sees a character on a kid’s tv show saying “I am ryn” which is also the first thing in english that she can say)

she ends up being helped by ben and maddie and legit is like these humans are hot imma learn english for them

there’s a lot of really cool and thought out lore as well as TONS of thoughtful marine biology science that makes sense

oh and transforming from mermaid to human? painful as FUCK. realistic depictions of having your body literally transform into something else

humans are wrecking the oceans and that’s a heavy theme of the show

oil rigs are poisoning the water (making them infertile) and killing mermaids with their sonic drilling

so ben and maddie lowkey commit an act of ecoterrorism but it’s chill

“ben and maddie are love” they’re poly, bitches

they come together in a natural, organic way

very healthy and communicative

ben’s alright but ryn and maddie are amazing

don’t watch season three if you don’t want to be majorly disappointed. the writers listened to the homophobic trolls on instagram and broke up the polyamorous relationship and I’ll NEVER forgive them for that. seasons one and two are amazing though. just don’t watch the third one.

[larryfanficwriter98]

Chapter Two

*You Are My Favorite Distraction*

Louis had started Preserve Earth when he was 16 after saving most of every paycheck he had earned and also getting a loan with his mother's help. He then went through an array of product sourcing and planning and by age twenty he had products to offer local businesses. He started with cafés, small ones that didn't see a lot of traffic that would be easy to supply. With every yes, he got five no’s, but he didn't stop and had continued and had went back to his rejections and slowing grew. Then they had started going to busier cafés and small family-owned restaurants. Then he got more products and offered them to his customers.

Louis then bought land out in the rural area near London and built compost stalls and started offering compost bins to the cafés and restaurants who were willing to do the work to compost. Louis made laminated posted about what was and wasn't compostable and they hung them up near the compost bins and while there were of course mistakes they got fewer each time. Louis bought a truck and hauled compost bins every Monday to the land. He built a building on the land for the workers he hired and built a fence around it and started offering the composted to the farmers and greenhouse workers as well as florists.

He had a few farmers offer to help build more compost stalls when his were starting to fill up. Most of his income came from the compost for a while. Then he bought an old recycling center with the help of a small loan and put his company name and logo on it and hired employees there as well. Before he knew it, he had a real business. It was still small and still growing, but he was making good money and doing good, and he knew he had a lot more to do. So, he had talked to Zayn who had been secretly coming up with product designs and ideas behind Louis' back. He was stuck for a few years as he paid off loans and debts and focused on what he already had. He focused on growing his profit and money and then bought a small warehouse to have products shipped to and packaged from the manufacturer so he could have more storage space.

By twenty-three he had a real company, and his company was recognized, and he was being interviewed by small journalists. He hit a big leap when one of his new cafés became a chain with five cafés in London and had boasted about his products. Their customers also had apparently been posting about them and suddenly Louis had more offers than he could supply and had to turn some down with a promise of contacting them when he had more inventory. His small warehouse was turned into a large warehouse and his manufacturer was replaced with one closer to London that also used his recycled products, so Louis was just getting money back essentially.

He had to get lawyers and had to sign contracts and he had to trademark his items. Then he was opening his corporate office at twenty-five and became a millionaire at twenty-six as he opened his Manchester locations. More products, more customers, more employees, and more money. It was almost routine. He visited his compost locations and recycling center annually along with his Manchester and other locations. Then a few years later Manchester put a twenty-three-year-old in a Chief Officer position that was essentially the face of the company for the media. Louis was nervous he will admit that, but he trusted the President there and trusted his judgment and when he was asked about it by a few paparazzi outside his office he told them exactly that.

Harry Styles made his first press conference only a few days later and Louis watched it in his office live. The moment Harry stood up he understand immediately why he had been given the job. He was the most attractive man Louis had ever laid eyes on with his curly hair pushed back and his perfectly fitting navy-blue suit. Louis had gone to Manchester a few days later hoping to meet Harry in person but had been told he talking with a few journalists about the Manchester warehouse relocation. Each time he visited it seemed like Harry was busy or his office door was close which meant he was on the phone or didn't want to be interrupted. However, two years later no one could deny Harry was amazing for the job and Louis was proud to have him representing the Manchester branch so well.

Then suddenly during a live press conference about the new recycling center being built in Manchester Harry wore a pink suit. Which Louis hadn't really thought was an issue (well except that baby pink was such a lovely color for Harry's skin tone but that's not important). However, the very next day Harry was in the headlines for wearing said pink suit and Louis thought it was just a big joke. No one could honestly be upset about it, but they had been. Well, the older people had been, the ones in their forties and beyond. It had gotten to a point where Louis ordered every President to make a speech at the same time and sent them the exact words, he would be saying however they could switch it up if they wanted to. After his media officer had announced him, he had stood up on stage and defended his employee over his clothing choice.

"It's ridiculous that I have to make a press conference about this. It is ridiculous that one of my employees is being under fire for wearing a suit to work. With that I will say this as many times as I have to, to remind you all what this company stands for. Preserve Earth is an ecofriendly, recycling, biodegradable, and compostable company that is LGBT plus friendly. Our employees are encouraged to wear whatever they feel comfortable in as long as it is appropriate for their position. We encourage all of our employees to be their authentic selves and to be whoever they want to be and to wear whatever they wish to wear. The Chief Media Officer dress policy states and I quote, "The Chief Media Officer must wear business formal attire during press releases that will be aired on television. They are not required, but are encouraged to have their skirts, if they so choose to wear them, at their knee. However, they are allowed to wear them to their thighs, miniskirts are not allowed it must be two to three inches below the bottom. This is to prevent cameras from getting inappropriate shots of a person as they bend, squat, walk up or down stairs, or sit down this is not an act to prevent 'distractions' in the workplace. The Chief Media Officer is required to wear business casual attire to work unless told otherwise." With that said Mr. Styles did not break dress code policy and therefore will not be 'held responsible'. Mr. Styles has done an amazing job representing this company for the Manchester area and has proven himself time and time again. Only a mere few years ago every single one of you were doubting his abilities to do this job and he has proven himself to be valuable and has been offered multiple jobs by multiple companies all around the world. Since you have all forgotten that in less than a weeks’ time let me remind you that Mr. Styles has not once been in a controversial situation despite his young age. He has help grow the Manchester company through interviews and press releases. His suit color does not diminish his work ethic or his past contributions to this company and I will not tolerate any of my employees to feel like they can't wear a certain color because society has feminized it to a point of a man wearing it is wrong or takes away his masculinity. Mr. Styles can wear a bright pink glittery suit to a press conference, and I promise you he will do his job just as great as he did it in a plain black suit. I don't see any headlines about my female workers wearing blue or red even though it's considered male colors so don't you dare make a headline about my male workers wearing pink or lavender or pastel. Whatever it is as long as it is appropriate it is allowed and there will be absolutely no criticism from me or anyone else working under my name. Anyone who disagrees may quit and leave. That is all."

Louis may had said too much but he didn't care. How dare they question Harry's work performance because of a damn color. (Louis refused to admit his small (*big*) crush on Harry was the reason). A few days after that Louis was informed, they were about to run out of products due the younger generation buying everything that they offered to customers. He had gone on social media and found that despite the older generation not liking Harry's suit choice the younger and his generation in fact loved it and was all for it. They had both gone viral apparently and Louis was honestly shocked the youth cared so much. He had always thought they were too stuck in their phones to care but he was glad to know that despite their flaws they were very progressive and very much about LGBTQ+ acceptance and the community. 

Louis had never hidden the fact that he was a gay man. Had always told interviewers he was gay whether or not they included it wasn't any of his concern. His employees knew he was gay, and his customers knew, his public profiles labeled himself as gay in the bios, he went to pride every year. They sold at pride and fairs and the website even stated they were supportive of whomever their customers and employees wanted to be. Louis didn't think about it, but he was sort of the one of the few openly gay CEOs and the youth was right that he and Harry was an example of sexual orientation not defining your work ethic or worth. It was a nice feeling when Louis thought about it, that he was a leader for the youth in a way. 

Louis then found out how well the social media profiles he had agreed to were doing. He had called the Manchester president and after learning that it had even Harry's idea and Harry's work, he had asked him to have Harry write down everything. It was proving to be a great idea of connecting with the community and the youth. When he gotten the list and links, he sent forwarded it to the Presidents of the other branches and after a few weeks of organizing each branch location had their own social media accounts. The ones in charge of them all took tips from Harry's page of course and it had really helped to grow business.

Years passed and though his crush on Harry never went away, he was able to reel it in some. He continued working and expanding and along the way he slowly stopped visiting his corporate branches and instead focused on visiting his customers, compost fields, compost field customers, recycling facilities, the partners who bought from his recycling facilities, his warehouses, and his manufacturing factories.

Then his Manchester President was retiring and being replaced with the COO Jeffery Fitz and things...shifted. It was a slow shift, one no one caught until it was too late and when Louis had questioned Eleanor, his Chief Networking Officer, she claimed they never sent an email until the other day Louis had reached without thinking and headed for Manchester with them. He didn't stop and think about Eleanor's past work issues or her multiple warnings. He didn't think about how she was hardly seen working or how he had to asks her for reports five times before he received them. No all he thought about was that for the first time in his entire twenty plus years of running this company one of his branches was completely broke and had to be temporarily shut down and he was going to have to do something to stop good people from going without work.

He had stormed into the building told Eleanor to find the Networking officer while he dealt with Fitz. When he found the Networking officer, he yelled at him without even thinking or asking or talking first. He just started yelling despite Liam Payne being rewards by the last president for amazing work. Then to make it all worse while he was yelling Harry had entered and yelled at him. Which took him by surprise. Then Harry continued to yell and call him out and despite it all being too overwhelming to comprehend he was definitely turned on which was completely inappropriate and not at all what he needed his body to do. He needed his body to form words and sentenced and apologize not send blood to his cock and make it hard.

To make it all worse after he had finally gotten every little, microscopic detail and apologized to Liam and explaining himself better to the guy. He had just shrugged it off and said the real challenge he would be Harry. Which was not how he wanted to start their acquaintanceship off with. An acquaintanceship that would turn into a friendship that turned into a relationship that turned into a marriage because that was Louis' end goal once he had Harry in London. Hopefully.

Which was not what he needed to be thinking about as he paced the conference room trying to come up with a plan for all of the employees who have stuck around through terrible management and who have been fired unjustly. Also, he was fairly sure Harry hated him which was not okay for their future marriage working relationship. Yes...that was what he meant. Louis was pulled from his thoughts by the door opening and when he turned, he saw it was Harry coming in carrying a few files and his laptop in his arm. He set the items down upfront of a chair as he started speaking.

"I have the media coming in five hours I figured that would give us plenty of time to discuss everything. I also have a list of the employees here who have kids or would just be an inconvenience to be relocated except for Liverpool. I also have the positions they had worked in and filled in for. Then I have a list of the corporate offices that have positions opened. There's only twelve of us after all it should be pretty easy to relocate everyone in a position similar to theirs. Liverpool alone has eight openings for chief positions or office positions. I also have a list of potential questions the nosey ones will ask they will sit in the back and will not pay attention and so the questions will be very pointless so good luck with that." Harry said as he handed a few papers over to Louis who stared at them in shock.

"You did all this in two hours?" Louis asked.

"No if I had two hours, I would have had your answers typed out for you I did all this in forty-five minutes. Did anyone make new tea? Seriously even the Irish one makes better tea than the brit boy. He drinks coffee by the way can you believe that? What a traitor." It took a second for Louis to follow the sudden change of conversation then he looked to Carrie, his assistant who looked just as lost as he felt.

“What.” Louis said completely confused.

“Exactly. So, tea?”

“Yeah…yes…yes I made some.” Carrie hurried out, “I’m sorry, but don’t these usually fall into the assistant’s job, or I guess Liam’s.”

“If you want them done horribly sure. Liam is great at a lot of things; organization is not one of them. Believe me I live with the guy you do not want that man making up a list. He’s great at leadership though if he just stops relying on me all the time that is. Would make an excellent President if he just starts to believe in himself a bit more.”

“I think you’d make a great one.”

“No. I am good with the media position. I love where I am and what I do.”

“You’re probably the only one who actually said that today.” Carrie told him.

“I have no doubt about that. If you think about it, I created the Brand job, so the Brand Officer was always my duty anyway. Communications and Content falls inline with Media. It just has a few more extra bits and bobs. The only one that I wasn’t already doing was customer, but that was an easy add in. I get why we have them in different positions, but I personally think it could definitely be managed by one or two people with the same title or similar.” Harry explained.

“Hey, don’t look at me every President is in charge with who they hire and what positions they choose. I’m quite sure Fitz just signed everyone everything that seemed remotely similar and gave you all extra work to keep you busy.” Louis said raising his hand when Carrie looked at him, “I have two Chief Media Officers and they share the entirety of the responsibilities. I then have a Chief Customer Officer who handles customer relationship and monitors the customer communications about the company.”

“I could live without the customer stuff pretty sure I can only handle it because I worked in the customer call center on the second floor back in London for over a year.” Louis furrowed his brow for a moment before his eyes widen and he grinned.

“Holy shit that was so long ago. I forgot the call center was located on the second floor.”

“It’s not anymore?” Harry asked as he sat down across from Carrie.

“No Patrick kept telling me his best worker was complaining about the elevator and that we should move it to the empty room on the fourth floor, so the elevator wasn’t directly by workers on the phone. When we finally moved it, Patrick said the worker left.”

“That was me and I do not apologize for that either.” Harry said laughing.

“Wait the call center was on the second floor?” Carrie questioned.

“Yes, and the thing is the second floor was a perfect spot for a call center like it was wide and there was no weird echo and there was a bathroom as well as a few vending machine hookups for snacks. However, the elevator shaft didn’t have a fucking door on it, and it was the only floor that didn’t have a shaft door. Now imagine you’re on the phone with a customer who thinks she knows more about the company than you do and you’re really fucking irritated and you’re biting you’re tongue alright. Now imagine the loudest banging on metal you have ever heard then multiple that by a thousand and that was the elevator twenty times an hour. My desk was literally six feet diagonal from the open shaft. The number of times I almost walked out of that job was unbelievable.”

“To be fair I didn’t realize how loud that thing was until I went down there myself and was talking to Patrick when it happened.” Louis defended, “Also I was in the process of getting a door for it, but it the room had to be empty, and I had to arrange for you all to be somewhere else with the phones. It was an awfully long process to get everything sorted and ready for installation.”

“It was horrible, and I also worked in the recycling facility for two weeks before I quit and went to the packaging warehouse.”

“How long have you worked for this company?” Carrie asked.

“Half my life. I started at sixteen in the composting field had a grand ole time back then. Thought it was coolest thing ever. Then at eighteen I switched to the recycling center and stay for two weeks then I quit because I was terrible at it, I don’t know why. Just wasn’t my thing. Then I went to the packaging warehouse then I went to the call center and then I graduated and left London to work under the Media Officer here before me. Then he left for Liverpool, and I took over. Seventeen years in total.”

“Pretty sure the only one who beats that is Zayn who has been with me since the beginning. I only had products for nineteen years. You started working around the time I started hiring.”

“My family owns a farm near where you built your first compost stalls from. We usually did our own composting, but my parents always believed in helping small businesses especially ones with such a good goal. He stopped by and helped a few times making sure they were layering it correctly. He would tell me which compost bin had the most potential when he sent me up to get some so that way, I wouldn’t bring home the shitty stuff.” Harry said laughing at the end of it making Louis’ jaw drop in shock.

“It would have worked either way he’s just very particular about his dirt for his crops can’t blame the man for wanting good dirt for the food that feeds his family. He even told the neighbors bout you. He would send me to work in the compost field with little bags of old crops I had to sneak into the bins when no one was looking. He told me if I was caught to tell them I found them in the bins like that and I was getting the bags out.”

“You little shit.”

“Sorry?” Harry offered giggling clearly not at all sorry for his actions.

“What are we laughing about lads?” Liam asked entering the room.

“Remember when our father would send me to work in the compost field with our old rotten crops?”

“Oh yeah you were so worried about getting caught.” Liam said as he sat beside Harry, “My father would send the rotten food to Harry’s father and Harry’s father would send it off with Harry and Harry would come home telling us all about his victory of sneaking in the compost.”

“Wait this was a regular thing?” Louis asked.

“Every day. Our dads weren’t going to pay to put our waste in the compost we were buying mate. Be lucky they paid for it all I’m pretty sure they had Harry sneak a few handfuls back home a few times.”

“Innocent until proven guilty.” Harry said with raised hands as Louis shook his head chuckling, “But to be fair the social media idea I came up with, if I had stolen bags of compost, it’s all been paid back plus interest so...you’re welcome.”

Louis was definitely looking forward to working with Harry and Liam down in London, if nothing else just to have people who obviously have a great sense of humor and aren’t afraid to think Louis as a person instead of as the boss. They stopped their conversation as more people started to come in the room for the meeting.