#WHY is this not showing in the tags? why are you like this tumblr?

[sneakyxthexclown]

Oh goodness here we go...

I don't think I've ever actually shared this online before. Now, many of my mutuals/followers are around now because my blog has become completely about the hellaverse, and I plan to keep it that way for a while. BUT my blog actually used to be all about the anime Hunter x Hunter. It's one of my fave anime of all time, and it's actually the reason why I created a Tumblr.

During peak covid times, my sister showed the first few episodes to me, and, damn, was I obsessed--not only with the plot but also with one of my favorite gay ships of all time. So my sister told me to get a Tumblr.

When it came to choosing my account name, I wanted it to be based on hxh because that was all I thought about at the time. Now, for those who don't know the show, the episode titles all have Xs between the words (e.g., the first episode is called "Departure x And x Friends.") I liked the aesthetic of it and wanted it in my handle.

Now, as for "sneaky the clown," I was immediately drawn to the character Hisoka (again, for those who don't know, just think of him as a magical clown villain who can also be a bit of an...iconic silly). I adored his character design, I thought his playing cards looked cool, and I'm a sucker for a villain. Now, "Hisoka" is Japanese for "secret." I chose another word that was close to that, which was sneaky. Hisoka dresses like a clown, so that's where the clown part came from (although, I will admit, I am a bit of a clown tbh).

Or, as my bio reads: I'm a clown and I'm sneaky

Not sure if any of my hxh mutuals/followers are still around given that I created this account close to five years ago now, but if you are, kudos to you for sticking with me through the countless hyperfixations I've had over the years.

I tag: @hyperfixed-owl @sircarebearalot @warblogs17282 @lost-romantique @loserschmoozer

Tag game🎉

Tag your moots and ask them where they got the idea for their tumblr accounts name!

For my name it was a nickname I was giving back in middleschool! One of our teacher had a system where we worked with 'wifi' eachtime we talked in class we lost a bar of the "wifi" (was a weird joke and we never held count on that) All the kids usually joked if they needed 'wifi' , they would borrow mine if they wanted to talk more. (I was incredibly shy in middle school, I only talked to like 3 people at school;^;)

They called me Ms. Wifi because of that. I just thought it would be funny if I put 'miss' instead of 'ms' because of my terrible actual wifi connection I have at home lol.

That's my story! Now moots, only if you guys want to, tell us your story.

Tags-> @slipping-lately @firequeenofficial @noagskryf @twinklstarrrr @halfbakedspuds @polterwasteist @rokushi-san @mygedagtes +anyone that sees this and wants to do this as well

[wtfisgoingonirl]

Why I got on the ship, why I am still on it and why everybody is entitled to their opinion

I have read the Lukola tag on tumblr since spring last year as a guest and just signed up a few days ago. I’m not into sm at all. I like real life. But in this matter, I have something to contribute, bc the thoughts of bloggers helped me to get rid of negative emotions surrounding this topic. I’m not a native speaker of the english language, so I will try my best to describe what my motivation for getting on and staying on the ship was and is.

Probably like most of you, I was introduced to Pen and Colin in S1 of Bton. It seemed like a fun show. In episode one, while witnessing their interactions in the ballroom scene, I was intrigued by our very beloved Polin. I remember pausing the show bc I needed to know if there could be a romance between those two characters and I learned about the books and bought the ebook of Romancing Mr. Bridgerton. 

While this type of Novell is not my cup of tea, I still decided to read it bc I was eager to know the outcome of their story.

Continuing the show I was so struck by the chemistry of Pen and Colin, that I suspected the actress and actor playing them could actually be a couple in real life. So I did another research online to learn about them, their projects and, bc I was curious, about their privat life. At the time Mr. Luke Newton was dating his gf Jade and Mrs. Nicola Coughlan‘s love life was a mistery.

Even while watching S1 and S2 my interest was pinned on the interactions of our beloved Polin. And as soon as Netflix announced S3 will be Polin season, I was happy! While I got impatient for waiting for the release of Polin season, I started searching the internet for news. Oh boy, why did I do that? I learned about the breakup of Jade and Luke during filming of season 3. HBS in 2023 and that WT just started.

I watched every single Interview I could find on YT and was flabbergasted. There was so much chemistry! It was on another level. Now I was convinced they were secretly dating. I knew they were co-workers and good friends and the only thing I could think of, was that they finally fell in love on set of S3. 

I was waiting for some confirmation of N and L being together. Instead the Instyle article about L and A dating was released. What? WTF!? You kidding me? No way! Is this a rebound situation? 

I couldn’t wrap my head around it. What did I whiteness till then? Had N and L been the goods of PR, just selling the new season? I was lost, but couldn’t let go. Maybe dating A was just a rumor. So I continued watching clips and interviews paying more attention to details. There I was, I had already boarded the SS Lukola without realizing it. Surrounded by the endless ocean there was no escape. I was addicted. 

While searching, I found more information on tumblr. Thanks to all the great bloggers and all the helpful comments, I felt better immediately. Great, there are partners in crime. All willing to share their thoughts, opinions and information.

The last year was so much fun reading it. I simply loved it! Until a few weeks ago… People startet to hate on each others opinions viciously. A ridiculous war got in play. Ruthless enemies, former Lukolas now Ankes, Jakolas and even the Lukola-endgamers were bitching on the Lukola tag. Fighting over an opinion based on different views of events. Senseless hating on the others, especially the ones who were still on the ship believing in Lukolas bond. That kind of behavior didn’t make any sense to me. What’s the problem? Why not let the others be? Why does everybody want to convince the opposition? Blogs started hiding because their opinion got unpopular. What a shame! 

I think all of us can freely have our own opinions and conclusions of events. I do not care about trolls. I strongly believe Nic and Luke are a married couple since last autumn. I even think there could be a surprise on the way. Yes, I said that. I am fully aware I could be totally wrong and all the assumptions I made bc of several incidents (for example actions on the WT, comments in interviews, chaos week, claddah ring, total silence of Lukey Newts in the last few month) are false. 

And if they are: Nothing bad will happen. As long as you only have an assumption and you do not hate on someone, especially Nic and Luke, everything is fine. The only toxic thing is people hyping things up and making it about themselves. By not accepting that another person is allowed to have a different opinion, weather you like it or not, you are a part of the problem. The question is how all of us handle emotions that come with other ppl not sharing our believes.

If tomorrow is the day we get a video of Luke singing ‚Happy Birthday’ to A on a beach in Cyprus and telling the world that she is his most beloved gf, then so be it. We all would be relieved of the burden of not knowing. If that happens, I will still ask: „Who is Nic‘s husband?“ (I suppose his name is not Bert). Bc as nice of a young man Jake seems to be, I would be utterly surprised if it is him, but also would be able to accept a romantic involvement.

Touches, kisses on cheeks, holding hands, putting you arm around, sitting or standing next to someone, going for dinner together, wearing the same hoodie or hat, sitting in someones kitchen or living room, going together on vacation, bathing in the ocean together, sunbathing on a hotel balcony, buying groceries and all the other usual things probably all of us did with a friend are sadly not a confirmation of a romantic relationship. So we still do not know who is with whom. We are only assuming a certain connection by evaluating the main clues.

I will stay on the ship until there is any confirmation of N or L regarding another partner or I see actual proof with my own eyes. And it has to be a picture of one of them french kissing another person or any sort of declaration of N or L! In the meantime everyone is entitled to think whatever they want to be true!

What do you assume, believe or wish?

Shipping doesn’t have to be tough. Leaving a ship is not a crime. I will probably gracefully leave at the next stop if there will be confirmation that N and L are with other ppl. Then the Endgamers will have more space and staying is also fine. I simply believe if N and L did not get together on the WT they are just friends… but who knows?

Do you want to know why I think Luke is not showing up? Because Nic wants to keep their relationship private, as she seemingly always did in the past. While he seems to be such a genuine guy who would love showing his relationship to the world, as he always did in the past, but simply got so much hate for everything he was doing that he is preferring to hide. This is also just a theory, again, I could be totally wrong. We will see.

Till then remember: Trying to insult each other is not supporting your argument. Nobody has to agree with anybody! Also nobody has to argue with anybody! Just share your opinion respectfully and enjoy the possibility of exchanging information with others on this platform. A little sarcasm is therefore essential.

Stay strong! Peace✌️ 

[emylilas]

Ladies of WOT - a potential community ?

Hello fellow WOT show enjoyers!

I am deliberately not tagging the show because I am aiming for a very specific demographic. Among those who watch WOT and are talking about it in different spaces (discord, twitter, here), I've noticed that people are having very different experiences watching the show, depending on what they want the focus to be on; to the point it might sometimes feel like we're in very different fandoms.

I realise the show is a book adaptation and I understand why people would expect more attention to be given to Rand, or Perin, or Mat, because those are the names who often come back, rather than some of the Aes Sedai who aren't as fleshed out in the book (I'm looking at you, my beloved Liandrin), but I have no interest in developing a sense of community with people who are watching the show for very different reasons than I.

I am absolutely not here for the men of the show, it's fine if you are, good for you but don't come at me. There are some men whose stories I enjoy following, but I'm here for the aes sedai, the forsakens (I can't wait to really meet Moghedien next season), the younger girls, the seanchans... and I would very much love to be able to share my love for the show and those characters, and to enjoy the show with people who share a similar enthusiasm.

Here's my issue, though, I find it hard to build a sense of community on Tumblr, interactions are limited by a very poor comment section, which is a shame.

I don't believe Twitter should be the main place for fandoms, because there's no room for in-depth conversations and everything has to be done quickly, It's more about posting and liking than engaging together.

I enjoy Dreamwidth and it would be, I think, a lovely place to build a community (besides, there is some WOT content over there) but I know it's not the most popular place, and it works more as a forum, which might lack the spontaneity of conversations.

Then there's Discord, and I am conflicted about Discord, on the one hand, it's convenient to chat and it can be well organised, on the other hand... I have wandered on quite a few fandom servers and they weren't for me, except for one. They're usually too crowded and I found that, in some places, the conversations are overwhelming in quantity but there aren't any real discussions.

As for that ONE server that worked for me, that one is quite special. You see, it's a small fandom of a show with a lot of wasted potential, but it's also the best fandom I've had the pleasure to join. People really interact, most of us know each other at least vaguely, we have a general idea of what are people's likes and dislikes, even when they aren't people we've chatted a lot with, and the mods always come up with fabulous events to keep the community living and it does keep on living, even after the show got cancelled in 2022. This discord doesn't have that many people in it, we talk a lot about the show, we also talk about specific characters, talk about ships in their dedicated channels, chat about our progress in our fic/gif/edits and support each other... people are interacting and we're all loving it. And those same people participate in fandom events because what unites us, even if we don't love the same characters or ships, is our love for that same show.

This is this sense of community built on the common love for a show and its potential that I would like to find for WOT, and more specifically in this case, about the women of WOT (but of course, talks about the show as a whole are always welcome and encouraged, it's just that watching with a preference for the female characters really change the conversations ones might have...) Especially with the new season coming in March, with all those new intriguing women that joined the cast, it would be lovely to have our little corner somewhere to chat together, as a small part of a bigger fandom, rather than individuals floating in the big WOT show tag and struggling to connect.

(And maybe those places already exist and I just haven't found them yet and I'm the only one struggling to connect. In this case, if you know places, please fill me in, I am dying to connect with fellow ladies of WOT lovers.)

So I guess that's it. I would love for us to get a chance to better connect, as show lovers (book readers are welcome, but please, be really mindful of spoilers, I am sick of being spoiled things even though I muted tags because people believe using emojis to talk is good enough to prevent spoilers, like we don't have functioning brains enough to put 2 and 2 together...).

To sum up my wish list: I wish we, those of us with similar interests (I don't care which women you enjoy in WOT, I love them all and they're all interesting, even if I have my own preferences I will gladly chat about any of them with you), could create a little corner in this big fandom so we can start acting as a community rather than separated individuals scrolling through tags. But a community who takes its time, to have nice little chats about the show and its women, to discuss our ideas and hypothesis, to share our thoughts and headcanons about our favourite ships (and yes, please, let it be plural and not just one ship) and characters, to support each other's in our writing, drawing, giffing, editing... all that, free of the drama that too often seem to happen in fandoms. A little place where we could always find someone who's up to chat a little about the show, and its women.

(Little place, because I really think once you're over 100 persons in a discord server (and probably less) it becomes nearly impossible to really get this feeling of a community).

So I'd love to know your interest in building such a place, and where you think it would be the most convenient for you!

[alexseanchai]

Which coincidentally also removes the inherent advantage of someone reblogging to their many followers who like the one thing. Case in point:

which is an October Daye polyam ship (second most popular relationship tag in a fandom with under five hundred AO3 works altogether), up against a Vampire Chronicles m/m ships (over four thousand works in the AO3 relationship tag), so you see why Seanan McGuire figured the October Daye ship was going down in this poll

but her reblogging the poll showed it to most of the Seanan McGuire fandom on Tumblr, and I'm not sure it got to the Anne Rice fandom at all

genuinely asking: why do you have such an enthusiastic stance on voter fraud? im not casting moral judgement here, im genuinely curious as to the reasoning behind this stance. ty :)

We've discussed this before on the blog, but in summary: we allow voter fraud because there is no feasible way to prevent it. We're lucky enough to have graphs that allow us to track one particular strain of easily detectable cases of fraud (i.e. one person spamming votes by repeatedly making new accounts), but there are plenty of other variants that are above our skill level we can't track or prove.

There are also ways of getting votes that some people may consider legitimate that might, to others, feel ill-gotten. We've seen fans flooding in from Twitter and other platforms to vote for their favorite ship. Does that count as fraudulent? How about someone promising to write/draw requests for any of their followers who vote for their preferred ship? Or maybe someone just has one alternate account that they use to cast a second vote?

Ultimately, if we try to say that X, Y, and Z are not allowed, then people become incentivized to accuse the opposition of X, Y, and Z to get them removed from the bracket. So, how do we stay fair and set rules when we have no way to reliably enforce them?

Easiest solution: level the playing field. Make it clear that everything goes! If any side is allowed to fraud, then it becomes a game of passion! And that's significantly more fun.

[spicyvampire]

#watching 4MINUTES is also like that

4MINUTES (2024) | DOCUMENTARY

[zimtlees]

Hey guys, this is my...well this is me...that's it...I don't think I need to say anything else...

(Yeah, Paulie, Paul McCartney)

Omg wait who are they??? I have no idea, like huh?

[raplinenthusiasts]

boyfriend <3

for @outroindigo

[keruukat]

EXPLODES BECAUSE I JUST WROTE THIS ALL OUT AND TUMBLR SHAT ITSELF AS SOON AS I WENT TO CHECK MY SEARCHING HISTORY.

Anyway. YAY TAG GAME :D. I love being tagged in things! Lemme cliff notes what I had before because I was So Rambly. Anyway!

Last song: probably some 80s song on the radio bc of Mom, but in terms of me searching out? …And If I Did, You Deserved It. By Will Wood! Specifically the Chonny Jash cover because what am I if not predictable (so excited for whatever new wee woo covers he’s doing next month… I forget which won the poll)

Favorite color: complicated but either purple or green. Big fan of p much any shade of cool tones, plus gem tones and earth tones r good too :3

Last movie: Madoka Magica Rebellion! After binging the whole anime with close friends last summer. 10/10 was great

Last show: don’t watch tv but last podcast was WTNV and I have some YouTube series suggestions if anyone wants em

Sweet/savory/spicy: yes. Spice I have a limit to and it’s low? I don’t want to be in pain because of my food. And sugar hates me in particular (gotta love prediabetes). So I guess savory? I just love any strong flavor. Been a fan of pickles lately… ooh and trying new fish salads. Been really liking sardine rilletes lately!

Last thing I googled: asexual wiki (to ensure I was remembering a microlabel right. I was not. So sorry fraysexuals shoutout to fraysexuals I thought my OC was you but he doesn’t fit the label but yall r chill)

Current obsession: My OCs. Please ask me about them. Please. Please. I need to post more about them. Please.

Looking forward to: lunch tomorrow! Have plans for ramen using some leftover birria broth… oh and I’m looking forward to playing some games I have downloaded! And finishing a crochet tote bag I’m making. And heading back to college! And figuring out why my body is trying to Kill Itself (AKA shit is fucked and it’s an autoimmune disease but it’s doing funky shit that not even a rheumatologist can figure out…. So I can’t get a diagnosis… Send help.) And fixing all the shit going wrong mechanically too…. Theres a lot.

I am getting too eepy to tag tooooo many people but I want yo get back into tagging people in these games again! So @squeak-4657 @disruptivevoib @socialc1imb @shxwrunner @thesaddersalad and anyone else who sees this! Especially my moots that I didn’t have the spoons to tag it’s 2am and im exhausted

People I want to Know Better Tag

thanks for the tag @localwolfgoesawooo <3

last song: Я и твой кот (me and your cat) by svidaniye

favorite color: really most shades of green, but particularly sage and forest green

last movie: A Great Unknown

last tv show: For All Mankind

sweet/savory/spicy: savory for the most part, although sometimes I'll be in a sweet mood

relationship status: taken <3, shoutout to my amazing girlfriend

last thing i googled: TJS to USD conversion rate

current obsession: getting more ear piercings lol, I fear ear piercing TikTok really has its claws in me

looking forward to: getting back home. I'm on a work trip rn and I can't wait to finally get home to my gf, our cats, and sleep in my own bed

For this I'm tagging @under-pink-skys @imsiriuslyreading @messrsrarchives @solarissuns @hotteststar and anyone else who wants to join in!

[pixlatedvampire]

I havent finished anything in a bit so please enjoy my favorite Grima doodles lmao 💗🥰

[thelien-art]

🎃HALLOWEEN EVENT OPENING🎃

Write a short story for one, or more, of the three drawings below or draw one of them in your own style to participate

Reveal your masterpiece any day you want as long as it´s in October 2024

When is this taking place? What is happening - why did it happen? Ghost? Vampires? Werewolves? Something completely different?

I can´t wait to see all your amazing and beautiful art pieces and stories!!! If there´s any question just ask!

❗RULES❗

If your entry contains any triggers remember to both tag the post as well as have a warning with the post

❗NO AI ALLOWED❗

Feel free to change the pose or add to it to what suits you but keep it recognizable if you are drawing it

Have fun :)

Tag your masterpiece #thelienhalloween 2024 or just tag me to make sure I don´t miss it :)

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.

[rosslovesspn]

oh shit im ever so sorry for not indicating what is clearly obvious. most fucking ships are headcanons, hot takes and opinions. not to mention how it’s very clear that the conviction in my post was me doing a thing called ‘joking’ and exaggerating for laughs. though i personally believe dean is bi, i would never pretend that it’s canon or true. hence why i tagged it with destiel and dean is bi, as my target audience was people who would appreciate the post and not jerks who choose to be rude over it.

i see where you’re coming from with the general tags however, and i would agree with you were it not for the fact that when you block a tag on tumblr all posts with that tag will be invisible for you, regardless of the other tags. so the fact that i tagged it with supernatural does not effect the situation at all :) even if you were correct and it showed up even though she blocked the tag, she still decided to interact hatefully with a post that would have been so much easier for her to ignore.

don’t tell me to ‘stay in my lane’ when both of y’all reblogged a post clearly not targeted to you, clearly not bashing any other headcanons or ships, and was clearly none of your business to interact with considering your opinions. the fact that the original reblogger did shows that she was looking for drama and a reason to get upset.

i love this show and i will not tolerate people being dicks about it (her more so than you) especially when they have the much more logical and much easier option of just fucking ignoring it, blocking the tag or blocking my tumblr, like any polite and sane person would do. my og post was meant for fun and lightheartedness, and the fact that it’s now been tainted with this frankly stupid and entirely avoidable argument really pisses me off.

hello kings queens and in-betweens welcome to my ted talk on why dean being bi is hardly subtext (evidence from s1 - s7ep20)

dr sexy

cowboy fetish

siren turning into a man (evidence isn’t concrete as it was for a brotherly bond but thought i’d add it anyway)

“i know two things - bert and ernie are gay, and you’re not gonna die a virgin.” (not direct quote)

looks upon castiel like a starving dog salivating over a bone

never denied it when anyone said he and cas were dating/in love (see: meg saying cas was dean's boyfriend & balthy saying cas was in love with dean)

“cas, not for nothing, but the last time someone looked at me like that, i got laid” *winks* (not direct quote)

totally got jealous at cas kissing meg

turned suicidal when cas betrayed him

everything to do with castiel

whatever the fuck was him flirting with the security guard through charlie in 7x20

etc, etc, etc (so many instances of him being sus asf)

[robyntheredhead]

What the fuck did I just log on to

[leonardalphachurch]

temple is an unreliable narrator and is more at fault for biff’s death than he lets on/remembers: juicy. delicious. tragic. what’s the truth? does anyone even remember? how much blame falls on carolina? how much on temple? how much on biff? everyone has a different version of events and they’re all conflicting and no one knows what really happened except that biff ended up dead and temple can never, ever let that go.

temple is an unreliable narrator and is completely at fault for biff’s death and carolina had nothing to do with it: okay well you’ve made it even more boring than canon

[ruvviks]

// oc deep dive.

tagged by; @aztarion and @devilbrakers, thank you so much!!

tagging; @mojaves, @deadrlngers, @ordinarymaine, @claudiawolf, @adelaidedrubman and YOU!

What common/uncommon fear do they have?

Nathan has a lot of fears stemming from his paranoia. Tangible ones such as getting captured or killed by MOBIUS, his friends walking away from him, or someone following him home; as well as more unrealistic ones, such as somehow ending up back in STEM, or getting stuck in a time loop, or a giant sinkhole all the way to the core of the earth opening up right at his feet.

It also happens often enough that certain actions don’t necessarily scare him, but make him uncomfortable or highly on edge (often with good reason); think of someone locking the door of the room he’s in– especially when it’s just them two– or getting too close without warning. He often fears people he gets too close to will end up treating him like the Administrator did, which is why it takes a while for him to let Sebastian get any closer physically, despite warming up to him relatively fast.

A more uncommon fear he has is waking up one morning and having lost one of his senses or his ability to speak. Aside from the mental erosion that had become a growing issue among Union citizens, MOBIUS observed a similar kind of process in its agents who regularly jumped in and out of STEM for general maintenance and the like– presumably caused by the constant changes in brain activity, which more than often led to exactly what Nathan’s fear mentioned above describes. While he was among the agents who worked both in and outside of STEM on the Union environment, he was lucky enough to never suffer the consequences.

Lastly, he is deadly afraid of Anima. Despite not having shown any other symptom of succumbing to the STEM domination process, Nathan would have started seeing her around sometime before Lily vanished– presumably got her attention after some of his escapades in the secret labs in the Marrow– and he has not been able to sleep soundly in STEM ever since. While his fear of her mostly acts up when he’s in a STEM environment, it definitely translates over to the real world as well; during bad mental health episodes he has auditory hallucinations of her, and she makes regular appearances in his nightmares too.

Do they have any pet peeves?

When people are too passive. Nathan can’t stand it when he’s expected to initiate everything, from conversations to taking action, both in a work context (scheduling meetings, deploying new code) as well as personal context (scheduling to hang out, doing household chores). He also doesn’t like having to constantly ask people to do what they’re supposed to do– though this irritation more than often extends a little too far, to things he is expecting of people but never told them about.

Loud and unexpected noises, especially when done on purpose. Fireworks would be a great example of this, and they piss Nathan off no end. He gets snippy when people raise their voice at him for no reason, or when they keep banging their fist on a surface to get others’ attention.

Getting cut off in traffic. Nathan’s road rage is easily awakened and he can get a little drastic with it. His reflexes are fast enough to brake on time to avoid ending up in someone’s trunk, but will in that same breath speed right back up to crash into them on purpose as revenge for pissing him off.

What are three items you can find in their bedroom?

A large ring binder full of old code snippets, notes from various projects he worked on back at MOBIUS, and all his research ranging from neuroscience all the way to electrical engineering. Nathan is a little old-school in that regard– he’d much rather have all his research physically with him than save it all to some online storage platform and risk losing it like that.

A jigsaw puzzle, made entirely out of different pieces that he’s collected over the years (stolen from others’ puzzles, found in various locations, stolen directly from the store, etc). The full piece would total up to nearly 2000 pieces, though it is still missing a large chunk in the center; the result is an abstract piece containing mostly darker colors, though with various bursts of color scattered around like flowers in a field. Nathan isn’t the artistic type, but the project keeps him busy and he considers it a type of self-expression.

The knife he killed his parents with when he was sixteen years old. He’s not entirely sure why he kept it all those years– perhaps to remind himself what got him to where he is now, or because it’s the only thing he still has from that time of his life. Either way, it’s kept safe in the top drawer of his nightstand, easy enough to reach in case someone breaks into his apartment.

What do they notice first in a person?

First: State of mind, overall mood. How approachable do they look; can he afford to lower his guard or does he need to tread with caution, can he get close without worrying about a knife to the stomach or should he keep his distance? Nathan rarely shows immediate interest in someone’s overall personality, he would rather want to know which of their emotions he’s gonna have to deal with during their interaction(s).

Second: Body language. Ties in with the first thing mentioned– cautiously watching for threats, waiting to see if they make a move to touch (or harm) him so he can step out of their range. But it also extends a little further; Nathan tends to mimic others’ body language in conversation to make himself appear more approachable. If someone gestures a lot, he will do the same.

Third: Their smile, if relevant. Smiling is an eye-catching action to him, since he’s not one to quickly do so himself. It’s attractive to him; if someone smiles at him, you’ll be able to catch him staring.

Fourth: Scars, and other (skin) details. Nathan isn’t one to ask about them, of course– but they’ll catch his attention anyway, for a brief moment, since some of them already tell a story on their own even without words.

Fifth: Nervous tics, if relevant. By this point he’s been in conversation long enough to pick up on the little details– a slight thrill or shakiness to their voice, a thumb running over the side of their index finger, a nose twitch. In some cases it eases his mind, knowing the other person isn’t confident in their conversation either; in other cases it sets off alarms in his mind, and makes him wonder if there’s more going on than what they’re showing or telling him.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

Physically: 7. While he doesn’t quite look like it, Nathan can take a hit or two. Most of his injuries happen in STEM– though with the way the technology works, the pain is very much real, and in some cases the scars are lasting even in the real world despite the damage having been sustained in STEM. To an extent, Nathan even enjoys the pain; it’s grounding for him, and keeps him from dissociating. When it gets too much to handle he simply drinks it away.

Mentally: 10. Nathan’s life has been a constant downward spiral; sent to a youth detention center after being wrongfully accused of killing his younger sister, and he was bullied relentlessly there, which continued until long after his release both at school and at home. At MOBIUS, he was required to work shifts in their HQ as well as in the Marrow, in the Union STEM environment– he was required to be mentally strong, or he would have already started suffering from mental erosion by long-term STEM exposure after his first few trips in. It takes a lot to break him (or so he likes to believe).

Emotionally: 4. Once you get past all the barriers, Nathan is pretty sensitive. He doesn’t deal well with rejection or misunderstanding, and is prone to assuming things are all his fault the second something goes wrong. It’s easy to upset him, though he won’t easily show; but the damage often takes a while to repair.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? (Or freeze or fawn?)

Fight, more than often; though it may appear as flight at first, since Nathan’s favored combat approach is stealth and he will always find cover before doing anything rash. In certain cases, however, he would be more likely to freeze; especially anything related to Anima or an enemy type like her, where fighting is out of the question, and he knows that a single wrong move can mean his demise.

It translates to non-combat situations too– often willing to talk to people but his initial response is to get defensive and close himself off, and if not given a moment to regain himself it can lead to either fighting or freezing; biting back with similar ferocity or shutting down altogether, unable to pick up his rational train of thought in the heat of the moment.

It really depends on the type of confrontation, though; taking his own state of mind and who else is involved into consideration. He’s known to fawn when a situation starts feeling a little too familiar– generally surrounding the abuse he suffered from partially his parents, but mostly the Administrator.

What animal represents them best?

Wolf; bordering on dog motif, but cautiously so, requiring infinite patience and understanding to win his trust. Nathan is loyal and guarding to those he cares about, but he values his freedom– his choices and decisions are his and his alone, and anyone who tries to take that away from him will suffer the necessary consequences.

How would a stranger likely describe them?

Curious, above anything else. Distant, reserved; surprisingly well-spoken, almost technical in his interactions with others as if the whole conversation is pre-programmed in his mind. Nathan isn’t necessarily cold towards others, but people would also not be quick to describe him as kind; though there is a certain warmth to the way he speaks and looks at people, despite the fact he very rarely smiles and isn’t one to quickly compliment someone else.

Appearance-wise, people tend to notice the white strands in his black hair first. They’re clustered at the front of his head, and match with the white hairs in his left eyebrow and the white eyelashes in the outer corner of his left eye. Nathan has very pale and rough skin, patchy but dark facial hair covering up most of his acne (/scarring); and part of the skin around his left eyebrow is lacking pigment, though it’s a little hard to see. He has very pale and bright blue eyes, which can be a little unnerving when staring at them for too long. Many people cannot maintain eye contact with him for very long.

Do they have any hobbies?

Nathan’s career is directly intertwined with his hobbies, and he enjoys working on code even long after cutting ties with MOBIUS. Software development, application optimization– his laptop runs on an operating system that he coded entirely himself, and whenever he has some time to spare he can be found tweaking and optimizing it and adding new features.

To no one’s surprise, he’s a gamer. Shooters, roguelikes, survival horror– he does not play all too often as his schedule often doesn’t allow for it, but he generally doesn’t have a hard time playing on higher difficulties and enjoys the challenge. Nathan has tried his hand at game design and development too, but stopped quickly when he found it too similar to developing the Union environment in STEM.

And last, surprisingly, would be writing. Journaling, some sort of attempt at poetry, or articles he would want to send in to some website or appropriate magazine but never does– a lot of Nathan’s writing is for his eyes alone, but it helps as an outlet, it keeps him grounded. For a while after leaving MOBIUS, he worked on writing tech manuals for various employers to earn some extra cash, which also ties directly into his interests.

[mllenugget]

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