#WHY IT GOTTA BE SPIRALS. WHY.
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Have been dealing with my Anxiety Disorder™ lately, because [gestures at everything]. Normally it’s a real low level kind of thing, I’m on medication, I occasionally have therapy, but I think now we’re all just kind of In It for a while and that’s just something we gotta deal with.
I would strenuously encourage everyone reading this to find the things that keep you afloat, whether it’s a video game, a TV show, standup comedy, anime, a book series, your favorite YouTube channel, one song on loop for eight entire days, whatever it is. Just find something to climb into for a few hours and protect your peace, build up your reserves, for as long as you can.
I feel like I haven’t done much in 2024 except hang on by my fingernails, and sometimes you gotta call that good.
#the subtext here is#I saw a headline that said ‘there’s eleven days until election day’ and I just fucking spiraled#I don’t know why that did it#I broke out in a stress rash#and I just went nah#I’m climbing into youtube for a couple weeks and I’m not coming out#I watched like an hour of fury road clips#about 15 josh johnson sets#four mortuary assistant playthroughs#some ghost files#lofi chill beats to panic to#y'all just do whatever you gotta do no matter how weird it sounds
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I am always thinking TimJay thoughts related to the fact that they have matching scars from getting their throats slit, and not only that, but Jason slit Tim's throat first in an attempt to threaten Bruce, where Tim was nothing more than a pawn for Jason to use to emotionally manipulate Bruce.
batman (1940) #618
And then, just a little while later when Jason is trying to confront Bruce and do his whole dramatic moment with Joker in UTRH, and Bruce slits Jason's throat to stop Jason from killing the Joker.
batman (1940) #650
It makes me so Unwell. They have literal matching scars. When do you think Jason realizes it? When do you think, while running his fingers over the scar he has to always remind himself that Bruce was willing to jeopardize Jason's own life just to save the Joker, Jason realized it was the same scar *he* gave Tim? And does it click for him too, that he and Tim are a lot alike? Being used as pawns in Bruce's game? And for the first time he maybe understands Tim Drake, just another kid trying to get Bruce's attention and approval? And Jason did to Tim exactly what Bruce did to Jason? And that's part of what spurns on Jason's obsession with Tim, trying to "save" Tim from Bruce's ideology?
When they finally get together does it make Jason even more possessive? He put that mark on Tim and now he has his own to match. It's the closest to being understood and loved he's ever felt when Tim runs his fingers over Jason's scar at the same time Jason touches Tim's. Mirrors of each other, in a fun, fucked up little way.
#jaytim#timjay#batcest#tim drake x jason todd#jason todd x tim drake#necrotic festerings#i would've included the proper panel where the batarang slits jasons throat but i've gotta be so honest with you#i can't fucking take that panel seriously. the art is *so* bad. why does jason's face look like that.#it ruins what should be one of the most important moments in jason and bruce's history. everytime i look at it i either laugh or cry#anyway it makes me unwell that jason scars tim first bc i usually see ppl mix this moment up with the titans tower moment#which would make it post-utrh#but no it's from batman: hush which comes first which is so much more fun for me when it comes to jason coping#like first you have to handle knowing the man you saw as a father bataranged your throat to save the guy who killed you#and then you realized he incidently gave you a scar that now matches the scar you gave the replacement you fucking hate?#i'd also be so unwell about it i'd go beat tim's ass at titans tower.#in my timjay little mind this is the true state of jason's complicated weird feelings about tim#the realization they have the same scar forces him to reevaluate his gut reaction to tim's existence#and thus his spiral into obsession and testing tim then trying to recruit tim begins.#i did in fact post this instead of writing fanfic don't mind it. i'm having a time. i'm also avoiding doing dishes.#i like ships besides timjay i SWEAR they're just on the mind as of recent
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Man I sure am tired, time to go to be-
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#why is it like this#i dont think anythings actually happening but i still gotta deal with the fuckin adrenaline rush#spn#supernatural#cat spirals tag
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Of all the languages Meme could speak and she chose the truth
#speak your truth queen !!!! iktr Meme for AFP AND BB25 winner !!!!#this is so entertaining to go down and the spiraling of everyone but at the end of the day logically I fear Reilly gotta go#we can take Cam next week I don’t like him at all but the alliance will fall apart if he goes out this week !!!!#like I get it. I am an empath and that’s why I would never go on bb bc I would be crying 24/7 probs but game wise y’all gotta know what the#best option is !!!!!#I am so excited for the vote idk what’s gonna happen but Mecole spitting facts I love her#her and Cody surprisingly are such a delight to see play if a white men gotta win ig Cody isn’t that bad tbh#Izzy is also fun to see spiral SLSKSKS and Cirie mothering#bb25#big brother#mecole
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just had a dream that I got kidnapped by an extremely hot dilf and literally woke up naked in his giant house in the woods
he was so nice that I almost forgot about him kidnapping me until he started groping me 🫣
#bitts posts#it definitely spiraled from there if im being honest#got fucked bent over the couch in front of the giant windows and then he held me so gently and explained why i wasnt allowed to leave#anyway i gotta go jerk off ill be back
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i'm doodling mtt (TRIGLYCERCULE DOODLING???? since when.....) why are they so gay. why are they possessing me to make them gay WHAT IS THIS
#GUYS I SWEAR ITS NOT BLUSH I SWEAR#THATS JUST KILLER'S EYE GOOP!!!!!!! AND HORROR AND DUSTS EYEBAGS ARE JUST REALLY BIG!!!!!!!!!!!#I SWEAR ITS NOT BLUSH OK I WOULD NEVER SUCCUMB TO MAKING MTT MORE THAN PLATONIC I WOULDN'T I WOULDNT IM NOT LIKE THAY#THIS IS DISGUSTING WHY ARE THEY SO GAY WHAY THE FUCK#THIS IS SOOOO GROSSSSS MTT ARE TURNING ME HOMOPHOBIC BEFORE FUCKING 2025#ESUAAGHHHHH THEYRE SOOOO GAYYYYY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY THIS ISNT FAIR#I BLAME UNTITLED29876011111 FOR THIS!!!!!! I BLAME HIM!!!!!! GODDAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ITS ALL BECAUSE THE FIRST THING WE TALKED ABOUT TODAY WAS ROMANTIC MTTPOLY AND NOW I CANT GET THEM OUT OF MY GODDAMN HEA#ITS NOT ROMANTIC I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR ITS NOT ROMANTIC THEYRE NOT ROMANTIC#HORRORKILLER FUCK YOU SPECIFICALLY. FUCK THAT SHIP SPECIFICALLY#i say as i draw kist and horrordust right after#one member of mtt nation is in denial over the existence of mtt and mttpoly#another is currently going through a horrordust phase#i gotta reel both back in with these doodles or what 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒#anyways if this spirals even more i am unsure of if i will post. oh well!#tricule rant
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Final episode of 9-1-1 the firehouse explodes with everyone in it and then Tommy wakes up screaming in the hospital and we find out the whole show was all a fever dream he had while delirious from some zoonotic disease he got from Maurice
#only got like an hour before i have to fuck off gotta make all the stupid posts while i can#this is why Tommy came back btw#k spirals
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The Magnus Protocol 8 – Running on Empty memes
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Credit me if you repost any of these.
#I do not buy the excuse Celia Ripley's excuse at all#what do y'all think?#idk why but tf2 expiration date really works for that last interaction lmao at least a bit#seems like helen made it into the new universe#also I forgot that Celia was in magnus archives & looked & hooooly crap#if this isn't prime Lynn Hammond then it's definitely an AU#also gertrude robinson & gerry keay are alive so it's gotta be an alternate universe or some sort of universe loop or reset right??#saw someone comment about it being a post scratch reset & cackled because like yeah kinda maybe lmao#I'm convinced Helen Richardson exists in this new world; that's gotta be our distortion spiral lady like cmon#mine#op#tmagp 8#tmagp#tmagp memes#tma memes#tma spoilers#tmagp spoilers#the magnus protocol#the magnus archives#tma
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ok no you know what fuck that fuck this i dont want to risk the potential of doing harm to a maligned community (one i mcfreaking belong to especially cus what is this? tigers eating my face?) even through a fanfic, break up fic is no longer a break up fic.
reconciliation fic Is A Go.
is this overdramatic and vagueposty idk fkn maybe but lo and behold i am somewhat distressed so. apologies.
#the way intrusive thoughts have legitimately hurt a good many of my relationships and my ability to form relationships#before i learned how to deal with them at least a little bit. i wanted to get into that and explore that#i can still do that. we're just gonna go motherfkn therapy speak on this sonbitch#things that are keeping me from going to sleep tonight pleh pleh pleh#ive already cut one major theme from this fic because i was worried about the reception why not this too#well and it was triggering me into a spiral. that too. gotta take my own safety into account lol
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Okay alright fine. I get it now.
#listen to me listen. i didnt give 2 shits about jean my first playthrough im sorry#but yea i get it this time. boy does those extra point in inland empire and espirt de corps make all the difference#im obsessed thinking about him and harry before the game. i love the idea that they were good friends once but lost it once harry spiraled#which makes sense cause like why would jean care about him if he only knew him as an asshole...#and just like yea. the trio of him and kim and harry post game also.#i was all like yeaaaa okay i love kim and harry why you gotta force jean into it. who the fuck even is this guy#i GET IT now#disco elysium#harry du bois#jean vicquemare#the way you only recognize his voice once he calls you a loser...
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mine's done a lot of sexy things in my opinion but top five to me still is asking daigo if he wanted to prioritize The Family or one man Not In The Family
#snap chats#you know what i mean. that rggo story I Think That Was Very Attractive Of Him#i simply understand why daigo was like 'fuck man .............. kinda right with that ................ wanna get married--'#but no cause real shit daigo ily and its very cute that you love kiryu so much#and i get it i do. i live for daigo's idolization of kiryu it makes for delicious drama and many emo spiralings at 1AM#i just really appreciate mine being able to speak up. from his position. yk what i mean#like mine's relatively green to the yakuza atp and this is the first time he's personally going out with his boss but not just His Boss#THE Boss and he still sees value in being like 'idc if you're my superior i need you to really evaluate your values rn for the whole org'#its so sexy of him ........ love a man who can cut the bullshit when he gotta ...#ESPECIALLY in regards to kiryu cause like .... kiryu ily and ily because youre messy ... i just need others to call you messy too ...#its also just so good because it's exactly the type of thing daigo wanted from companions#people who could look at him beyond his name and money and status and tell him what he needs to hear ... its very yummy ...#so yeah thats one of my top five sexy moments thanks for watching im gonna kick my feet and think about mine#he's such an epic character ......... i wish i had blender so i could spin his model for an hour#ill just have to settle for doing that in my brain
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How does it feel, little princess? Knowing your father chose an imp over you?
Chest tightened ; a sharp pain in the heart that never had the chance to truly heal. ❝ He didn't..❞ There was a small shard of hope ; the belief of not being left behind. It was a matter of circumstance, knowing her father would no doubt do the same, were it her.
❝ He didn't.. choose over me. ❞
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Such a hopeful child ; wanting to believe in something beyond her control. A hopeless little fool who did not know any better.
#━━ ✦ INTERACTIONS * IN CHARACTER.#━━ ✦ INTERACTIONS * ANONYMOUS.#(( why you gotta come for her like this#((via's in a downward spiral haha#━━ ✦ VERSE. * GO ON & CRY LITTLE GIRL ; THERE ARE NO HAPPY ENDINGS IN HELL.
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on tuesday, my mom's got a doctor's appointment, and my dad is thinking of seeing if there's any sorta inpatient physical therapy program he can check my mom into. so that she can get the help she needs and he and i don't have to like. take shifts looking after her and wearing ourselves out. i think that'd be really good for all three of us.
in happier news, today was actually a pretty nice day! we got her a bunch of nice gifts and she seems really happy. got time to hang out with my family today. ;v;
#hhh i hope he finds a place for her#vent#things are getting a little bit easier every day i think. i just gotta get better at stopping my anxiety spirals#but!! that's why I'm going to therapy! i'm workin on it and I'll get there#it's not gonna feel like this forever. i just gotta remember that.
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Jackles why did you put Walkin After Midnight, a song about searching for your lover, and Rebel, a song about a wanted man running while wishing his lover was with him, in the winchesters and have dean say he'll keep picking the music. Why did u do that
#anything youd like to say to me jackles hmmm#rebel makes me INSANE cuz lik thats literally dean in the winchesters!!!! he is breaking the rules and avoiding jack and looking for smth#more than peace in heaven!!! and then u ALSO hav the parts about wanting to love someone and wishing they were there!!!!!!!#at som point i gotta go thru all the songs used in the winchesters cuz lik#these 2 were both within the first lik 3 eps#idk why this in particular makes me crazy when its literally the dean/destiel mirror show but it does#spn#supernatural#spnwin#the winchesters#dean winchester#destiel#cat spirals tag
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Being in a spiral is so fucking funny I’ll be doing godawful enough to start vaguely venting in the replies to my art posts on main and a cool stranger will say something like “keep going!” And suddenly I feel like living again
#it’s so goofy but I do prefer it to spiralling worse until I snap out of it on my own#and fwiw I do always snap out of it eventually. u don’t gotta worry!#like I have a ‘’vow’’ or w/e that if there’s someone who wants me dead out there I’m not gonna do the job for them#‘’kill me yourself cunt’’ or whatever#which is a good like 60% why I haven’t killed myself yet#it’s not a great reason to keep surviving but it’s worked better then most other reasons! so I’ll take it#vent //#ig#this is a positive post but I do mention suicide in the tags so! could b better ^u^
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Kiriko was trending on twitter today and man did that remind me of how much I despise her in almost every aspect. She has the same snarky mean tone in every voice line. Her voice lines aside from that aren’t really that good either, it’s all the same bored tone with slight variations. Why is she so snarky and rude when she has like no reason to be? Because her lore doesn’t make it seem like she would be like that but the lore, oh boy that mess! Kiriko was the reason why I stopped caring about overwatch lore. Why is she so young?!? She’s like 20 and we are supposed to believe she grew up with the much older shimadas. Doesn’t help that she acts like bratty teenager alot. Why are all the Japanese characters magic ninjas? Her design is mid as well, looks like a store brand Naruto cosplay. Literally all the other characters from her gang look so much better and interesting. Her silhouette is often confusing too as she has the same lean build and tilt as a lot of other characters while not having much to make her stand out when looking at her in dark lighting or during a fight. Not only is her voice and lore annoying (I swear she insists upon herself. No relevance, all the spotlight) but her kit is obnoxious to fight against as well! Can teleport away in a blink just when you think you’ve got the kill, quick to get out invincibility flash to shut down ultimates and the entirety of some characters gameplan in an instant, auto targeting heal goes reaall well with her infinite ammo quick attack speed kunai attacks that can quickly kill lights to mid health heroes walking back. Her ult is fine, not much to say there. And the worst part of it all is that she gets like 4-5 skins almost every skin release. She is constantly getting new players due to people getting the new skin. This becomes what I call “the space marine loop”. Thing gets more attention from the company, due to the new stuff and attention, this attracts people to play the thing(character/faction/etc), company sees all the new people attracted by that thing and focuses more on that thing and they get new stuff. Loop continues until something happens. All this is pretty much why I (and maybe other people idk) loathe Kiriko so. Doesn’t help that her fans are often obnoxious in that kpop Stan way.(definitely not all but enough to be noticeable, especially when venture fans complain about Kiriko from what I’ve seen.)
#ugh I needed to get this out before I get into my AM HATE speech level rage#it often spirals the more I keep it inside. that’s why you just gotta type out a rant sometimes. get it out of your system#midnight brainrot#rant post#overwatch#Kiriko#overwatch rant
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