#I broke out in a stress rash

[cleolinda]

Have been dealing with my Anxiety Disorder™ lately, because [gestures at everything]. Normally it’s a real low level kind of thing, I’m on medication, I occasionally have therapy, but I think now we’re all just kind of In It for a while and that’s just something we gotta deal with.

I would strenuously encourage everyone reading this to find the things that keep you afloat, whether it’s a video game, a TV show, standup comedy, anime, a book series, your favorite YouTube channel, one song on loop for eight entire days, whatever it is. Just find something to climb into for a few hours and protect your peace, build up your reserves, for as long as you can.

I feel like I haven’t done much in 2024 except hang on by my fingernails, and sometimes you gotta call that good.

[swirly-strawz]

some doodles of Samadhi Fire MK

If you’re interested in my ramblings about this ⬇️

I wanted to explore the angst that this AU would have and I’ve thought about a bunch of things

1. Guilt

Oh boy, where do I even start? Everyone’s a mess in this, with MK being the biggest mess. I’ll ramble about the ones I thought about.

For MK, he feels guilty about losing control since the others are in a close radius. He screamed his problems out on Wukong, lashing out and crying. What’s worse is that his mentor even walked through the flames for him, getting some burns in the process. The hug was short but it’s what he really needed at the moment.

Wukong feels guilty, his student was screaming about how he felt abandoned because of HIM. Wukong swore to protect MK and yet there he was, crying, raging, burning, etc. He apologizes for leaving him alone, for not being there for him as he walks through the red and purple flames, towards MK. His heart broke as MK shoved him away, looking at him with eyes filled with defeat and sorrow before flying away.

Mei hates herself for not being the one to step in and help her best friend. It took her a few minutes in this disaster to do something, to be there for MK like she always have. But before she could act on it, Wukong swoops in and goes into the fire. Mei wishes that she was hugging MK at the moment when the flames disappeared, not for long though. She runs after MK, reaching out before he leaves a red trail behind as he flies into the sky.

Tang was the one who finished the ritual, who inflicted such unimaginable levels of trauma upon his son. Why did he do it? Why did he listen to the shadow monkey? How could he? He felt so sick, the Samadhi Fire is not something that can be tamed. It can burn anything and anyone, even immortal beings. Pathetic. Useless. Horrible. Responsible. He doesn’t know why no one blames him for what happened, sure they didn’t know MK is the fourth ring, but he’s still the one who caused this to happen! How can he trust himself anymore when he bears the hands that afflicted pain upon his son?

2. Pressure

MK would feel more pressure on his shoulders, now that he has this burden to carry. He learned enough so that the Samadhi Fire is more docile and less chaotic. But that isn’t enough! After the event that occurred in the ritual area, he’s still processing this life. His mind is scarred. He’s so frustrated, he could hear LBD laughing and taunting him at the back of his mind. Why is this so hard?! He’s the Monkie Kid! The world is in danger! He can’t rest right now! If he doesn’t control the fire, the world will burn because of him! Everyone will die!

3. Aftermath

I think after S3 in this AU, MK wouldn’t be as cheery and energetic as his canon self. He would act more as if he just got punched in the gut. Like how Mei acted more rash, impulsive, and impatient, MK would be more on edge, tired, short-tempered, not to the point of being an asshole though. I think he also would be more stressed because of the trauma he faced from the Samadhi Fire. Even when he fully wields it, he’s afraid of accidentally losing control again. MK is more prone into acting feral and pissed off as S4 proceeds. He would lose his shit faster when Azure reveals his true plan.

[enden-k]

short story summary here, again

im including some of my old, traditional art of the og comic i drew years ago to the recent ones BWAHHAH

[the nobody] vindrael lyndis

age: around 23 in human years

height: ~163cm

species: high elf

the protag. vin was born in a small village in the kingdom of Morgana. hes a high elf, a species that is known for their intelligence and masters of the summoning arts. all elven species are known to be very tall and ethereal and beautiful; they are born with both sets of reproductive organs and are not assigned a gender at birth (going agender by default) until they choose it themselves if they wish to do so. vin identifies as male. unlike the average high elf, vin is much shorter and bland looking which troubled him all his life. he was and is often overlooked by others as he doesnt stand out. to make up for that, he possesses extreme intelligence and a talent for the summoning arts much surpassing an average high elf. he studied and worked extremely hard and became one of the greatest summoners in the kingdom until the king himself ordered him to the court to make him his personal summoner. the king was the first ever person who truly noticed and praised him for his talents and vin started to develop feelings of romantic nature. when he learned of the betrayal, hes even more shocked and hurt than titus. he failed to see the kings change and manipulation due to his feelings clouding his eyes and mind and it shook him deeply. he comes off as timid and polite but has actually quite the temper and bad mouth. he overthinks a lot and is always stressed and on the verge of losing it. despite his rational thinking, he tends to act impulsively when hes teased and messed with too much. everyone else in their group is crazy strong and op and vin often feels like he doesnt fit in there, constantly doubting his worth and powers. he often envies others and its a trait he hates about himself; he envies zydonia specifically for the confidence he wishes he had himself. after the kings betrayal, vin feels extremely lost and insecure in the world and latches onto titus as his new meaning of life. he puts his well-being over his own, considering it to be his duty to his prince, and would follow him everywhere even if he often gets upset with titus rash decisions and empty head. titus considers them best friends and treats them both as equals but vin still treats him as a prince, putting some distance between them. only when zydonia makes him learn to prioritize his own needs and well-being and stop putting titus on a pedestal does vin grow more secure and their friendship truly turns into a warm and mutual, equal one.

[the worlds enemy] zerevni-ir yggdra dragonya ova-akhyn nggdragryl i-ihm avna (Z Y D O N I A)

age: in human years around late 20s/early 30s estimate

height: ~194cm

species: goldhorn dragon

the last dragon of his kind. a jailed king with no clan to rule anymore. the dragons are mythical beings living "above the world" and are divided into 4 clans; the goldhorns, the whitetails, the redclaws and the blackscales. each clan possesses a unique ability, ancient magic, which is passed down from king to king. the goldhorns magic is restorative, healing; the ancient magic is "resurrection" zydonia is not of royal blood. he was a common dragon and had loving parents. due to a tragic event caused by his carelessness as a child when he barely learned how to fly, he fell off the edge of the world to the mortal realm, broke his left horn and lost his parents when they tried to retrieve and protect his dying form from human hunters who were attracted by his fall. bc of his broken horn, zydonia lost a part of his dragon powers and his dragon form, turning into a much smaller, humanoid form. his parents death set off his berserker mode, a state a dragon goes in when overwhelmed by intense emotions and unleashing their powers in an extremely mass destructive burst. zydonias wrath was the most powerful and destructive anyone has ever witnessed and it led to him unintentionally wiping out the entire region. the goldclaws were attracted by his powers and came to the rescue; he was healed and brought back by the king who adopted him as his own son, fascinated by his powers and potential. despite his lost dragon form, the dragons still considered him as one of their own. even when he took over his deceased adoptive father and became king, he was loved and respected. he inherited the clans magic but is unable to use it bc of his broken horn, making him a flawed and unworthy king in the eye of another, specific dragon clan who soon came up with a plan to get their claws on his magic, murder him and take over (leaving this all out so this wont get any longer than it already is) back to the present, he was jailed in a dungeon when he got careless and was eventually busted out by titus and the others. ofc his jailbreak didnt go unnoticed and soon hes wanted all across the lands since hes considered a threat to the world due to the annihilation of an entire region when he was a kid a long long time ago; his powers as a grown dragon are much more destructive now and he possesses just one horn. he made a deal with titus; helping him grow strong and stop his father in exchange for busting him out of the dungeon and helping him find his lost horn to regain his form and powers. zydonia is very proud and confident and shameless. he comes off as easygoing, seeking amusement and always speaking his mind, no matter how naughty or "unkingly" it might be. despite his behavior, he still carries himself with a kings aura so its pretty clear he has royal manners and knows how to behave. he simply chooses not to, for the fun of it. hes stronger and more powerful than anyone else but does not brag about it and rather teaches the others how to "suck less" and get better. he only steps into fights when he knows the enemy is outclassing the others. zydonia has his eyes set on vin and loves to banter and tease. it seems he prefers people who dont like him at first and are not afraid to be honest and speak rudely to him.

[the failed prince] titus von morganastatt

age: 21 years

height: 187cm

species: human

the failed 2nd prince of Morgana. he had an older brother who he loved dearly and a onesided relationship to his father; his father neglected him a lot and didnt pay him much attention, rather favoring his brother aris who was way smarter and more capable than titus. his brother always tried to shield him from their father, willing to take on all the royal duties so titus could have a much more innocent childhood without his fathers sharp eyes and strict hand. its why titus never had to bother much with politics, diplomacy or all the "paperwork" that comes, only focusing on honing his body and eager to fight exciting battles. he doesnt understand much of such things and his father regards him as stupid and not capable to follow into his footsteps and run a country like the strict king he is himself. when aris died, it destroyed both titus and his father. unlike titus tho, his father let the grief consume and corrupt him and soon he started to plan to sacrifice his remaining son to zydonia to resurrect aris, offering a hundreds bodies for the magic to work, including vin and bell who were accompanying titus. he wasnt aware tho that zydonia is unable to use the ancient magic bc of his broken horn. titus was already aware that his father had some wicked plans and knowing for certain now makes him want to stop and save him. he pretends to be dead and starts a new life, learning how to be a proper king unlike his father and growing stronger so he can confidently return to his home and face him and end whatever he started. titus is a very purehearted and kind prince; always believing in the good of people even if someone wronged or insulted him. hes naive and a little dumb at times and always needs a bit to fully understand things. he admires vin a lot bc of his intelligence and considers him his best friend since he always stuck around him. he also looks up to zydonia and learns a lot from him, both useless and useful things in all kind of matters. when he becomes king later on, a lot of the way he handles things is how he learned from watching zydonia since hes also a king.

[the assassin] bell

age: 22 years

height: 168cm

species: human

originally hailing from an assassin clan, she was ordered to join the royal army as an undercover knight and assassinate the royal family. however, she was assigned to titus own knights and when they met, they immediately became friends. just like titus, bell is chaotic and easygoing. the way she talks might be considered rude which is smth titus finds amusing and refreshing. she behaves very bold and doesnt care what others think. when they make their deal with zydonia bell is the first who announces she will follow titus and "beat the kings ass". she was ordered to assassinate the family but after becoming friends with titus, she doesnt want to carry out that order. the clan always kept her in the shadows and theres many things she wasnt allowed to do or enjoy; titus, vin and zy are her first friends and she decides to follow their light and do the things she wants and not what is expected of her. so, pretending to have died in that dungeon is also freeing her and allowing her to live a life she always wanted. bell is really strong (both physically and verbally) and skilled; shes often considered to have "bad manners" but doesnt care how others think of her. she doesnt hesitate to kick someones ass if theyre becoming annoying. shes perceptive and a quick thinker but still a bit silly at times. she and zydonia share the same chaotic energy and combined they definitely destroy vins nerves in record time.

[gremlin-girly]

Kinktober 28

Massage

Pairing: Masseuse!Ari Levinson x f!reader

Tags/warnings: SMUT, breast/nipple play, clit play/teasing, vaginal fingering, massage, improper use of massage oil lmao (pls read labels before use), voice kink/talking you through it (kinda), fully clothed vs partially clothed, praise kink, praise (good girl), petnames (sweetheart, baby) happy ending 😉, multiple orgasm, squirting

Not beta'd. I do not give permission for my work to be translated, reposted, copied or fed into an AI machine.

Summary: When you're gifted a massage package by your family to help you relax, you don't realise just how much you need to let go...

word count: 3.1k

Banners by @/cafekitsune

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Spas were never really your thing.

Being the resident stress-head of your family, taking time off or just relaxing in general was near-impossible.

So naturally, your family pitched in to get you an exclusive spa trip at the Brass Angel Hotel for your birthday full of luxury packages and facilities for you to enjoy. However, you being you, you were busy fretting about your home, and your job, to fully relax.

Aroma therapy made your head hurt. The free meditation class had you spiralling silently as a woman in hotel branded yoga pants and polo annoyingly dinged a triangle beside her very monotonous instructions. The only thing you had enjoyed so far from the services provided was the mud face mask; until the following morning your skin broke out in a red rash.

You were beginning to think you were allergic to relaxing.

By the third day of your trip, and second dose of antihistamines, you only had one treatment booked at the end of the day; a full body massage. From the booklet you'd been given on the first day, it outlined several massage packages to choose from, from deep tissue to hot stone.

Following the instructions, or moreso the warning, that came with your package; you undressed behind a screen, left clad in only your panties and a white fluffy towel one of the freakishly happy reception staff handed to you. You don't notice that the masseuse has entered until you step out catching you so off guard you yell in surprise.

You clap a hand over your mouth immediately and he holds up his hands in surrender, looking equally as shocked as you. He was tall, almost comically so, with broad shoulders and a muscled frame hidden beneath the periwinkle cotton polo uniform of the spa and a full hickory beard that matched a mane of hair. He was gorgeous.

"I'm so sorry," you gasp. "I didn't know you were there."

"Don't be. Rachel is supposed to tell me when a client is in the room so this exact thing doesn't happen." He sighs and offers you a sheepish grin. "I'm Ari, I'll be you masseuse for today."

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Ari walks you through everywhere he plans to touch from the top of your neck to the tips of your toes. However, it's very difficult to pay attention when Hercules is stood before you, describing in agonisingly seductive detail what he's about to do to you. Somehow, you're beginning to regret not doing the massage first.

"Feeling a little pain is normal but it's good pain."

"Good pain?" You raise an eyebrow at him. "That seems like an oxymoron."

"Depends on who you ask." He says simply that flirtatious grin still plastered on his face. Your face flares red and Ari chuckles. "Look, if it's too much you can tap out at anytime and I'll tone it down."

"Alright." You sigh and Ari makes a sweeping gesture to the massage table. You grip the top of your towel to secure it as you crawl awkwardly onto the table, placing your face into the oval gap.

"I'm going to have to move your towel." Ari says. "May I?"

"Sure." You say a little too nervously for your liking. You barely feel Ari's hands fold the soft towel down your back, your ass barely covered. You breathe out quietly, thankful Ari can't see or hear you.

"I'm going to start at your neck and work my way down, okay?" You can here the shake of a bottle as you give a quiet yes. You still jump when Ari's warm, large hands find placement on either side of your of your neck. However, as soon as his soft, oiled hands begin working at your tense muscles, your eyes flutter closed and you sigh.

"So," Ari says after a few moments, fingers gliding over your shoulder blades. "How has your spa experience been so far?"

Melting into the table, you begin detailing the last two days of your so-called relaxing trip; enjoying every hum of acknowledgement Ari makes as he kneads your flesh on your left shoulder. He was right about it being a good pain and he was damn good with his hands; although, perhaps because he was so deliciously attractive your brain thought his skills were better than they really were. The velvety feel of his fingers brushing against your skin, following the contours of your body had you fighting to focus on talking and not thinking about filthy things. The cherry on top of your spa retreat would be to make a fool of yourself in front of a hot masseuse.

Ari chuckles when you recount your mud mask incident. "You've not had much relaxation then."

"You're telling me." You huff as Ari moves around to your right side, mimicking the movements he had done on the left. "If I hear one more whale song I think I might just go insane."

Ari snorts and you can't help but feel a little triumphant.

"What's it like to work here?" You ask, staring at his shoes. Awfully big.... "Bet you meet all kinds of characters."

"Eh," Ari presses down and pushes his interlaced hands up the right side of your spine. "I'm not here much. It's temp work for me but I agree that the forced relaxation can be a bit...much."

He begins to work at your shoulder and you hum happily as the muscles melt beneath his fingers. But then the pain begins to increase and you frown trying to concentrate on forming your next sentence.

"What do you - oohh - want to do?" You manage to puff out, a gentle moan slipping past your lips until you clamp them shut. The pain doesn't increase but it's barely tolerable and you try to take deep breaths.

"I have a job with a friend of mine. We're going to be-"

Ari's thumb presses against the tightest part of a knot in your shoulder causing you to interrupt him with a loud, breathy curse. Embarrassment rushes you and you immediately begin to apologise.

"Don't apologise." Ari says, continuing to work the knot making you squeak as you fight for your life holding back moans of good-pain pleasure. "Unless you'd like me to stop?"

You contemplate it for a moment but you don't really want to cut your time with Ari short.

"N-no. Keep going." You stammer out, clearing you throat. "Please."

"Sure thing. Remember to tell me if it's too much and you don't need to hold back any...sounds."

Your cheeks burn and you stop yourself from squeezing your thighs together; you know damn well he's smiling.

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Who knew that the soles of your feet also needed massaging? You hadn't.

And by God did it feel fantastic.

Ari's hands worked magic as he made his way around each muscle, lavishing them with precise attention. By the time he'd reached your legs you were jelly on the table, humming and moaning with delight freely in between conversation.

"Okay, now for your thighs." Ari says, his hands running up the backs of your thighs, once, twice before moving back down to the back of your knees. Focusing on the left leg first he begins his kneading process before stopping midway up the thigh when his hand brushes with of your inner thighs and you tense.

"You're gonna have to open them wider for me." His voice is lower than before, quieter, and you hate that you feel a rush of heat at his words when he's just doing his job.

"Um sure." You wiggle your legs not even a millimetre wider and you hear Ari's rumbling chuckle again.

"Wider, sweetheart."

You do as instructed and open them wider, ignoring the sweet pet name on his tongue and how you can feel an already prominent damp patch grow in your panties. You can feel your heart thud against the leather of the table and pray that Ari can't hear it as he works his way upwards to the curve of your ass, barely covered by the towel. His fingers graze the sensitive skin of you inner thigh, tantalisingly close to your aching pussy, when they press down hard making you groan.

Your thigh muscle tingles under his touch, his other hand under the swell of your ass almost holding you steady. The thought of what his hands would be in bed crosses your mind; thick, strong fingers that can expertly draw groans from you should also be able to draw moans just as easily.

You push the thought away quickly whilst Ari works away at you for another ten agonising minutes, while you jump and squeak when he rubs at your inner thighs.

"Alright," Ari says taking a step back from the table. You take this as the cue that you're done and you start to lift your head but Ari continues. "That's your back done. You'll need to turn over."

"Turn over?!" You squeak, feeling the drape of the towel over your back again. You strain your neck to look at Ari who's smiles warmly down at you with a nod.

"You can't get half a massage." He points out and you feel a wave of stupidity flood you for a moment. "But I will need to get to your pecs so um..."

Ari shrugs and clears his throat. "I will be touching the top part of your chest so you'll need to drape the towel or we can forgo them all together."

"Right." You say dumbly and swallow when his blue eyes keep looking at you, waiting for a full answer. "I'll just... drape the towel?"

Sensing your nervousness, Ari holds up his hands in surrender. "How about I start from the bottom this time? Thighs then arms then chest. That way you have plenty of time to decide properly."

"Sounds good to me." You try for a smile and you just about swoon when Ari gives you that cheeky grin back.

"Great. I'll turn around so you can get ready."

"Mmhmm."

You push yourself up, taking a moment to admire the span of Ari's toned back under the company polo as he looks at the wall, before shuffling yourself onto your back carefully and adjusting your towel. Keep your head up so it doesn't fall through the small hole, you notify Ari that you're done. He turns and smiles before plugging the hole with a matching foam piece so you can lie back comfortably once again. You don't jump this time when Ari's warm hands start to work at the topside of your thighs and continue with your easy chit chat.

"Do you get many weirdos asking for massages?" You ask the cieling.

"Plenty." Ari says while drawing tight circles into your supple flesh.

You're thinking about how it'd feel to have those circles drawn on your clit and can't help but feel like one of the weirdos you just asked about.

"Lots of people ask for happy endings." He adds quietly. Your clit twitches and your force yourself to stay still as a flush blossoms up your neck and cheeks.

"O-oh?" You swallow your spit, throat suddenly dry, and lift your head enough to peek at him.

Big mistake.

There's Ari, focused on manipulating the flesh of your thigh, looking gorgeous and when moves to the bottom of the table his eyes flash briefly and he smiles. Your horniness skyrockets. It looks like he's about to crawl between your legs and bury his face between your thighs.

But then he moves around to the next thigh and you try to hide your disappointment by reading the labels of the various lotions and oils advertised for sale on the shelves.

"Women more than men." He says nonchalantly beginning the same process on your other leg.

"I'm actually not all that surprised." You say, eyeing up a vanilla scented lotion.

Ari's hands work in tandem as he looks up to give you another panty-dropping smile. "Really? What makes you say that?"

Because you're hot.

"Uhhh..." You scramble to think of anything answer but the above settling for a flirtatious comment that has you inwardly cringing instead. "Well, you're not half bad with those hands."

Ari's grin widens and he pushes a down on a tightly wound knot and you hiss out a groan. "Not half bad, huh?"

You manage a smile through the ache in your thigh. "Not half bad at all."

The rest of the topside massage is quick. Ari's work on your arms is a lot faster, albeit more painful at your biceps. When he reaches your chest, for the first time throughout your massage you notice he hesitates.

"I'm gonna touch here now." He says quietly, his fingers barely brushing the skin of your chest. Your breathing hitches and your nipples brush against the thick fluffy towel. "Tell me of it gets too much or if you want me to stop."

"Okay." You respond airily as his fingers push down where the hardness of your ribs meets the softness of your breast, kneading small circles into the tissue. You sigh with delight, both hating and loving the sensation he can pull from you.

"Feeling okay?" Ari asks with a smirk, oily drawing patterns across the swell of your breasts. From your laboured breaths your towel has moved down a little and Ari is using that to his advantage, squeezing at your supple flesh. His hands are dangerously close to your nipples and you're sure he knows that he's melted your brain.

"Yeah," you puff out, half lidded. "Feels nice."

"Do you want me to continue?" He's looking at you expectantly, begging you to say yes.

And you do.

"Yes." You murmur, barely recognising your own voice. Ari whips the towel away from you, exposing your panty-clad body to the room and you fight the urge to squeak and throw your arms over yourself. Glancing to Ari with burning cheeks, your heart jackhammers when you see the hungry look he's giving you, his slick hands cupping your breasts as he watches your expression.

"Remember what I said before, sweetheart," He says lowly, groping and squeezing at your tender flesh, letting your breasts slip through his hands, once, twice, thrice.

You're trying to focus on his words but the way your hard nipples brush against his soft, oiled palms, you're practically putty in his hands.

"W-what was that?" You half whimper, swallowing your moans in your throat, and peering up at Ari who's blue eyes dance with desire and warmth.

Although gentle, there's a definite pinch to both of your hardened peaks that make you gasp a moan.

"Don't hold back any of those pretty sounds you want to make," He murmurs, leaning closer over you. "I want to hear them all."

His beard is soft just like you imagined when his lips brush yours, his hands still busy groping and massaging your tits.

"Still feels good, doesn't it?" Ari murmurs, his eyes locked onto yours as he breaks the kiss.

Your chest heaves as you try to suck in a breath. "Mmhmm."

Another pinch, less gentle and a little more reprimanding that makes you groan. The intensity of his stare, the magnetic field surrounding you both since you entered the room finally coming to a head.

"I need to hear your words, princess."

One hand remains on your right tit, pinching and squeezing it gently intermittently, while the other reaches down between your legs to find with your clit over the damp cotton of your panties.

"Y-yes it still feels good. Oh fuck," The instant Ari's finger drags along your bundle of nerves you gasp loudly but it doesn't deter Ari's exploration. He presses down and draws tight circles, grinning devilishly as you writhe at his touch.

"That's right baby, you're doing so well." He praises, hooking your panties to the side and dragging a finger through your arousal, and bring it back to your clit.

It's all too much and all too little all at once. There's so much attention being lavished on your relaxed body that you can't think clearly. Ari's hands work in tandem so expertly that you know your thoughts about him being good in bed earlier were correct. The fact that his voice, both soothing and strained, is showering you with praises as he guides you through your first orgasm of the night.

"That's it, you're doing so well sweetheart. Cum for me, just like that."

You have to bite down on your lip to stop yourself from yelling out as Ari's index finger strums against your clit quickly, occasionally slipping between your folds to gather more hot slick before continuing to prolong your pleasure.

"I've got you," Ari says quietly when your hands grip the sides of the massage table hard, your orgasm teetering on that blissful edge. "You can let go for me. You can do that for me can't you beautiful?"

Ari takes advantage of your limp relaxed form to nudge your legs wider, fingers dipping into your soaked cunt and you spasm around them, choking on your breath as Ari rips a second orgasm from you. You push yourself onto your elbows, legs splaying wider still as Ari's fingers find your sweet spot and move against it; massaging like they'd done to the rest of your muscles. Your legs writhe beneath you, the pleather of the table squeaking beneath your grip as yet another orgasm rushes towards you. Ari releases his hand that was focused on your tits, moving it to the back of your neck to support you as his mouth finds yours.

Your mouths move together, Ari's tongue swiping at yours. You're lost in him. You bring your hands to his shoulders, bunching the cotton shirt beneath them as you hold onto him for dear life, his thumb swiping at your clit as he swallows your moans of ecstasy like air. Your walls tighten around his fingers once more and you can only plead his name quietly like a prayer, your brain too lost in lust to form anything coherent.

"Go on, give me one more." Ari urges against your lips, nipping gently at your bottom lip. "I know you want to."

Floodgates release and your legs shudder as you cum hard over Ari's fingers, still pumping as you gush with a whimper. You'd feel more embarrassed if your body didn't feel utterly slack. Euphoric didn't even begin to cover it. Even as Ari's fingers slow and exit your cunt with a wet pop, your boneless body slumps against him as you pant for air. Ari holds you up with ease, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

"You're lucky you're my last client." He chuckles, his solid cock is visible through his cotton slacks as he grins down at you. "But now that you've had the taster, how about we head to your room for the full package?"

[embarrassedanon]

The Model Patient

Eddie's friend Tony assured him that being a model patient was an easy and painless way to make a few extra bucks on the weekend.

Tony had been given an index card with of symptoms to memorize and assigned a handful of medical students who clamored to be first to diagnose him. Sounded easy enough.

When Eddie pulled up to the medical school that Saturday morning and saw his index card his heart sank. The card's directive was simple yet humiliating.

patient seeks treatment for persistent painful rash on gluteal epidermis

Surely this was some sort of joke Eddie thought. Tony only had to pretend to have the flu, but he had some crazy butt rash. He was going to have to spend the whole time talking about a butt rash with these medical students...

Before he could contemplate any further, the director of the model patient program barged into the room looking down at his clipboard.

"What are you doing still dressed?" the disheveled director said barely even looking up at Eddie. "Come on, strip down completely and put on the gown."

"Completely? No one said anything about being naked."

"The students need to grow accustom interacting patients as they'll actually be in real life. If you're going to be a problem can you just go, I've got like a million things to do."

As quickly as he arrived the director was gone and Eddie found himself standing in the cold room in nothing but a paper thin gown.

The next 90 minutes were perhaps some of the most embarrassing of Eddie's young life. A revolving door of young, bookish, nerdy, wannabe dermatologists, the types of guys Eddie teased in school came and poked and prodded his exposed backside.

The line between fact and fiction quickly blurred as the simple index card diagnosis gave Eddie no answers for the med students exhaustive questions about his condition.

Not much of an improviser, Eddie was answering honestly engaging with questions about how sweaty his butt got, his habits of shaving his butt cheeks, and what type of underwear he wore. These doctors were intent on finding the cause of his phantom rash.

The invasive questions were nothing compared to the physical exams. Latex gloves did little to insulate cold hands. The students massaged, squeezed, and in one case even parted his cheeks, hoping to get full points for successfully completing a thorough exam. The embarrassment was physically painful for Eddie.

Worse were the students attempting to make him feel comfortable and break the ice. He cringed and broke out into a full body blush as he heard "well I don't have to ask about your exercise habits, it's clear your squatting?" or "No wonder you came in to see about this rash, it's totally cramping your style as you show off that thing."

When the final student finished up, Eddie quickly got dressed, anxious to get home and shower off the embarrassment of the whole ordeal. He entered the lobby where all the students were gather comparing notes from their respective exams. They all looked up at him and sheepishly smiled.

The way they looked at him made him totally naked again. He collected his envelope of cash, feeling cheap and used. He headed to the exit, the future doctors lingering stares on his ass felt hot enough to burn through the seat of his pants. Unbeknownst to Eddie the stress of this ordeal was already forming the faintest hives, exactly where he least wanted them.

It wouldn't be long before his cheeks were getting examined for real.

[azrielsdove]

you probably have many requests… and I’m sorry if I’m burdening you and just want to say you are under absolutely no obligation to do this. Ignore it! Delete it! Answer it! all would be fine!

could you do any male acotar character x reader based off the song by Bruno Mars. Talking To The Moon?

All your writings are fabulous and have made me feel a lot better when I’m down so thank you!

The Moon Above Us: Lucien X Reader

Warnings: Angst

***

Lucien sat in his room for what felt like the hundredth night in a row, staring up at the bright moon above. The silver light shone gently on his face, illuminating the golden eye that resides there. He sucked in a deep breath as memories ran around his mind.

“Hello,” he said softly, the routine he had become used to. “Where are you at tonight?��� He pondered his own question, thinking of all her favorite places. A night out at Rita’s perhaps, surrounded by their friends.

Not that Lucien really classified them as his friends anymore. “What are you up to?” He asked the shining moon, remembering the way it reflected upon her eyes. She would laugh and twirl under the brilliant night sky, hair flowing out wide behind her. A night just like that had been when Lucien began to fall in love.

How could everything change so quickly?

“I wish I could take it back,” he whispered up to the sky. “Everything I said that day. It wasn’t truly about you, not really. I let too many things get to me at once and you were the unfortunate victim to my stress and anger.” A tear slid down his cheek, the pain of losing her at his own foolish hand too much to bear.

He would never forget the hurt on her face as he shouted, the fiery rage in her eyes when she yelled back. He had never felt more ashamed of himself than in those moments after she left their shared home, telling him that she never wanted to see his face again.

Lucien had left that very night. Slipped out of Velaris under the cover of the stars, making his way back to Spring.

Tamlin had caught him talking to the moon several times now. At first his friend was concerned that Lucien had lost it, that the break-up had been more than he could handle. Perhaps it was. Lucien didn’t care to explain that the moon was the last connection he had to her, the only way to speak to her. They may be many Courts apart, but the same glimmering moon hung above both of their heads.

“I will always love you, you know. Do you still love me?” He looked down at his hands. “I would understand if you don’t.”

He could never return to her, not without her wish. He wouldn’t risk showing up in Velaris unannounced, the possible wrath of Rhysand too dangerous. A cowardly part of him didn’t think he would survive her anger, if it remained. So he stayed in Spring, talking to the moon as if it was his old lover.

“My heart belongs to you, my soul belongs to yours. I do not know how much longer I can do this without you.” His voice broke on the last sentence, a vulnerability only she and the moon had ever seen.

Lucien looked up one last time, ready to retire to his bed for the night. He hadn’t been the same since she had gone. As often as he spoke up to the moon, he could only hope she knew just how sorry he was.

***

READER POV

You leaned against the small balcony outside the bedroom that used to house two of you. You were focused on the moon above you, as bright and beautiful as ever. “I hope you’re doing well,” you said, looking up into the night.

After the fight you and Lucien got into, you had told him to never come back. You regretted those rash words all too often, wishing you could go back in time. Try to understand his anger, why he had lashed out at you. You knew, even then, that he wasn’t truly upset with you.

“What are you doing tonight?” You asked the moon, pausing as if waiting for an answer. You knew he had gone back to Spring, clearly wanting to be as far away from you as possible. You had half a mind those first few weeks to go after him, but you didn’t think he’d want to see you. Not after what you said.

You felt like half a soul without him, missing him like you would miss a body part. You and Lucien were made for each other, you were certain of it. Now he was gone, leaving you in the home you used to share on the edge of the Sidra. Rhys had asked if you would like to move, offering up other homes in the area. You declined them all, a piece of you unable to leave this one. You felt like if you left this home, you would be losing all you had left of Lucien.

“I’ve been trying to be okay,” you began, eyes focused on the moon. “It’s hard. I miss you, Lu. I miss you so much. I’m not the same without you.” Tears filled your eyes, threatening to fall at any second.

At first you had felt foolish, talking to the moon. The sleepless nights alone had led you out here, gazing up into the night. That was when it had started. It somehow felt like you were talking to him, as if he was on the other side. You told yourself that even Courts apart, the same moon shone above the both of you.

“I’ll never love anyone else, Lu. It’s only ever been you for me, you know that. I tried to tell you that on that awful night.” The silvery light grew blurry under your vision, emotion taking over.

A tear slid down your cheek as you stared at the night. The moon and the stars dancing across the dark sky, making these hard nights feel a little less long. You knew you would always feel broken, as long as Lucien wasn’t by your side.

***

He was yelling, fire raging behind his russet eye. “Do you think you are better than me? Is that it?” You were taken aback, hardly having closed the door behind you.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, Lu,” you said, trying to keep your voice calm.

He scoffed. “You spend all your days with them, the ‘High Lord’ and his brothers. Do you take me for a fool?” His anger was radiating throughout the room, infecting you as well.

“Excuse me?” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. “Where is this coming from? I work with them, Lucien. What has crawled up your ass and died?”

“Do not act innocent now! You were just using me, using me to rise up in Spring. Now you can move on to the next male who can give you a higher station. You think the General is going to fuck you? The Shadowsinger? The High Lord himself?” His words were full of hatred, a tone he had never taken with you.

“Have you lost your mind? They are my friends. It has only ever been you, and this is how you have decided to treat me? I would choose your next words very carefully.” You were seething, fists clenched tight at your sides. You knew Lucien had been under a severe amount of stress recently, and something must have pushed him to his limit. However you did not deserve to be attacked like this.

He rolled his eyes. “You are nothing but a user.” His words cut you deep, a knife in your stomach.

You felt hot tears prick at the back of your eyes, anger clouding your vision. “You do not mean that. Tell me you aren’t going to through years of love away due to some, some.. delusion!” You shouted, unable to believe what you were hearing.

“I do mean it. Eris pointed it out to me.” Ah. Eris. That would explain his mood. You calmed ever so slightly, knowing how he got when his brother came around.

“You know as well as anyone that Eris is a fool, Lucien. Do not fall for his games.” You took a step closer to your love, reaching out for him.

He stepped backwards, away from your grasp. “Don’t touch me. I don’t know who to trust anymore.”

You dropped your hand and turned on your heel, heading for the door. You ripped it open, ignoring how hard it slammed against the wall. You would deal with that later. “Get out, Lucien. Get. Out,” you hissed between your teeth, not even fully looking back at him. “I want you gone before I get back, and I never want to see you again. Stay away from me.”

That was the last time you saw him.

***

I’m sorry this took so long to get out!! I haven’t had much time to write recently! I hope this is what you wanted, Talking to the Moon is a FAVORITE song of mine! I made it very sad and angsty, a longing for each other that they don’t realize can be fulfilled. I chose Lucien because I love writing for him! Let me know what you think and thank you for requesting <3

[justjams2003]

So many allergies

I am hard at work with my studies and also the Galaxy of Stars series. But while you guys wait for all that, here is a little one-shot for my girlies with way too many allergies.

Pairing: Thor x little!reader

Summary: During a party, you become small and eat something you shouldn’t and have an allergic reaction. Thor has to come in and save the day

Warnings: Little!reader, needles (epi-pen), fluff

Word Count: 600

The first time Thor heard about your allergies; he’d felt so bad. It had been one of the first times you were little around him and had completely forgotten to tell him about your 6 different allergies. You’d been just too excited to have a daddy after all this time. However, the rest of the avengers were quite used to it.  

“What are you eating, sweet pea?” Nat asks, watching you swing your legs back and forth, while sitting at the bar table. You give your big doe eyes to the red-haired women and grin like never before. “Daddy gave me ice-cream and some juice! He said I’ve been a good girl.” Even if you were grinning like crazy, Nat could already see the red rash coat your chin.  

You are entirely unaware of the complete look of terror on her face. “Okay, baby, I’m going to take this away and get you some of your special cookies. And some ice-tea, okay?” You give a pout, “No, daddy said I get ice-cream!” You’re ready to throw a fit, crossing your arms in defiance. Thor had said you’d been such a good girl, all week too!

“I know that, but aren’t you feeling itchy?” She questions, already plating your new snacks. You can only roll your eyes at her, because it’s true. You can feel the coughing fits coming on, your chin itchy and your tummy already felt funny. “Where is your daddy?” She asks, knowing she needs to get some allergy meds.  

You just shrug, nibbling on your specially made cookie. “Baf’oom.” Exactly where the pills are.  

After Nat had properly scolded Thor, he had memorized each one of your allergies. He also made sure that either he or one of the Avengers were the ones too be feeding you when you are small. But it was a party and you hadn’t been little all day and to be honest, he was just a bit tipsy. After all, he brought his own mead.  

“Daddy, I feel funny.” You tug on his denim jacket. At the beginning of the night, you looked ravishing in the lowcut dress you were wearing. But now all he can see is your soft, flushed cheeks and just how uncomfortable you looked. What was worse, is the red rash covering your lightly swollen neck.  

He immediately sets his drink down, picks you up and places you on the coach. “Oh, my babygirl, what did you eat?” His eyes search around to see a waiter carrying away an empty tray of plates. “Um...” You let out a heavy cough and scratch at your inflamed neck.  

“My poor girl,” he mutters, pulling out his emergency epi-pen, from his jacket. Then placed the jacket over your shoulders. “Look away, my little one, this is going to hurt.” His sweet voice is so soothing, you barely even notice when he pierced the needle into your thigh. Nat had showed him how earlier.  

He sighs with relief, hearing you breathe a little easier. “I’m sorry, Daddy,” your lip quivers, knowing you just broke the most important rule he has. You can see in his beautiful blue eyes just how stressed he looks. “It’s alright, my little girl, we’ll talk about it when we get home. How does that sound?” You can only nod as he wipes away your tears.  

Thor then scoops you up into his arms. His big jacket covering you up, as he says goodbye to his friends. Both of you weren’t even finished saying your farewells before you fell asleep in his arms.  

[theemporium]

I don’t like my first winter break silly season that was stressful 😣 is this what it’s always like I broke out in a rash and I thought Logan resigning to Williams was rough I feel like a war veteran

BSHBSJSBSJSBSJSBS😭oh honey, there there

[strandnreyes]

You know, sometimes i sit and reminisce over the early days of season 3 where we went through about 20 theories of how tarlos broke up with them either drifting apart, carlos not talking about his PTSD fire stress and how it was probably going to take a lot of the season for them to get back together and rebuild their foundation --then Push aired and it was really, this idiot bought them a whole ass loft and this other idiot got rightfully pissed and just ignored him for 3 months.

I just remember how anxious I was and then when TK said what happened, I was like - you dumb beautiful idiots. AND WE LIVED HAPPILY EVERY AFTER through TK aliving himself to get back together with Carlos.

that was a LONG 4 weeks... them putting that one week off in there? cruel.

I actually love the reason they broke up so much. it was a situation where the blame couldn't be dumped entirely on one person and that's what I was hoping for. though we don't know for sure what happened during season 2 and 3, i think the reactions to the fire (specifically Carlos') probably did indirectly contribute to the breakup. he went from living in his own place to under his boyfriend's dad's roof and I have no doubt that he wanted to look for places and get them out of there as soon as possible. maybe that was part of his reason for wanting that loft then and there. It was a place TK loved so much and it was something Carlos could do to fix the whole situation that was so out of his control. anyway... off topic but those two made a couple of separate, rash decisions and it was easy for them to find their way back to each other when they finally talked about it

I was definitely someone who did not want them to take a lot of the season to get back together (and I didn't think that would really happen with how much emphasis cast and crew were putting on the 'finding their way back to one another' part of the storyline). we only get so many episodes to begin with and I prefer as much tarlos being together during them as we can get. personally, I would've hated going half a season with them barely talking (season 1 flashbacks...)

having the ice storm start with everyone split up and estranged and then ending it with the firehouse being rebuilt and tarlos back together was a perfect way to wrap up that multi-episode emergency. the snow was melting, people were happy and healing, it was a rebirth and so lovely.

[mountsmase]

ex to lovers pls... after you broke up with mason you have to moved out, but after a week you still can't find a place to live so you have to stay a bit longer at masons (idk if this is make sense 😂😂😂) if you want to change it its fine

okay I love this 🤭 I got a bit carried away so this is a long one 👀 it’s nearly 2k words but it’s far from a fic so it’s very unedited 😅

maybe you’ve been in a relationship for a couple of years and you’ve moved up to Manchester with him but things have become a bit rocky, with the stress of moving and finding a new job along with all of his injuries and busy training schedule, you’ve just been drifting apart a little bit. And a lot of the time you do get to spend together you spend arguing, the stress becoming too much and causing you both to become snappy and argumentative over the stupidest little things like who has to cook dinner or why the house was a bit messy when you got home from work.

And I hate to make Mason the bad guy but he decides that maybe it’s time you both go your separate ways because it’s showing no sign of improving and it’s not good for either of you to be living with that tension.

It breaks his heart into a million pieces because he loves you with everything he has but he wants you to be happy, and he believes that you’ll be happier else where, he doesn’t think he can give you what you deserve whilst so much is going on with his injuries, and the constant fighting is killing him, so it makes sense to him to cut it off (silly bastard). 💔

You’re heart broken, wanting to fix it more than anything and you’re frustrated beyond belief that he doesn’t seem to want to atleast try and fix things, but you don’t fight him on it, convincing yourself that maybe he’s right and some time apart will do you some good no matter how much it hurts 😢

He would never, ever, just kick you out though. Letting you stay with him for as long as you need because at the end of the day it’s still your home, and he still loves and respects you enough to not just throw you out and expect you to find your own way when he’s the one who put you in that situation in the first place.

Maybe you’d stay with a friend for the first couple of days, not being too keen on staying with Mason when he’s just broken up with you but you can’t stay there forever, and after a few nights of sleeping on their couch you end up going back to Masons house, what used to be your home, and you sleep in the guest room until you figure out another arrangement.

Mason regrets breaking up with you almost straight away. As soon as he had a chat with Lewis and came to his senses he was slapping himself for how he handled things with you and hates himself for his rash decision making that led you to the situation you’re in now.

Every time he sees you around the house he can feel his heart break a little more (if that’s even possible) and he struggles to sleep for weeks knowing that you’re just across the hallway but he can’t just come and climb into bed with you, he lost those privileges and he has no one to blame but himself. It’s obviously incredibly hard for you too, being somewhere that reminds you so much of your relationship and the life you built together whilst knowing that you may never get to experience that again, that maybe you’ve lost Mason for good.

You get into a ‘good’ routine, with him going to training and then coming home, disappearing into the home gym for a few hours before going into his gaming room where he’d spend the rest of the night, only coming out to get some dinner before going to bed. And you’d limit yourself to your bedroom and the little cinema room you have, keeping to yourself so that you don’t have to face him. You’re civil together though, there’s no hostility between the two of you and whenever you do see him you have a little chat and there’s loads of small talk, it’s just really awkward and uncomfortable, but you do a pretty good job of avoiding him, not wanting to experience the pain you feel every time you see him so you stay out of the way.

Until one night, maybe it’s about 1 or 2am and you’re unable to sleep so you pop down stairs to get a glass of water and just as you’re about to walk out of the kitchen, Mason walks in, dressed in only a pair of joggers and you hate the way your tummy flutters from seeing him without a shirt on. He was struggling to sleep as well, his mind flooded with thoughts and regrets, just like yours is, after a conversation with you that afternoon that lasted longer than usual. The bags under his eyes are evident and your heart hurts at the thought of him not sleeping well.

You smile at him out of politeness and go to continue your way upstairs, but he grabs your wrist - the gentle touch sending goosebumps over your skin after weeks of no physical contact with him - and pulls you back towards him, your back becoming flush to his chest and you’re left speechless, not quite knowing what to do or say but he breaks the silence first by mumbling a quite ‘Can we talk?’ into your hair. You of course agree, having craved his company for the last few weeks and wanting to talk to him even if it doesn’t end well.

He leads you into the living room, putting your water along with a glass for himself down onto the coffee table before collapsing onto the sofa with you sitting right next to him. Its the closest you’ve been to him in what feels like forever, and curiosity takes over when you notice the look of hesitation in his eyes, like he wants to say something but doesn’t quite know where to start. You prompt him with a simple ‘What’s the matter?’, not liking how small your voice sounds but that’s all he needs to begin speaking. He asks you to let him say everything he needs to say without interrupting him, needing to just get it all out before he decides against it, and you agree, taking his hand in yours when he begins talking and his eyes fill with tears.

Seeing you in the kitchen, dressed in actual pjs rather than one of his shirts with your tired eyes and sleepy smile, finally gave him the courage he needed to speak to you and he gets it all out, telling you how sorry he is and how much he regrets everything and the way he handled it all. He tells you why he thought he should cut it off and the reasons he now hates himself for doing it. He tell you how much he loves you and how he needs you in his life like he needs oxygen, which pulls a giggle from you, before going on to ask for your forgiveness and promising that he will make the effort to do better and be better for you if you decide to give him another chance.

When he finishes he’s out of breath, tears soaking each of your cheeks and it takes you a few minutes to digest everything he’s just told you, thinking it all through although deep down you know that you can’t ever say no to him, the last month has been hell living with him but without him at the same time, and you don’t want to continue living a life that doesn’t have him in it.

You’re not really sure what to say so you let your actions speak for you, leaning further into him and wrapping yourself around him whilst his arms come around your middle and hold you tight. Your hands cup his jaw, brushing away the tears that stain his cheeks and you kiss a path down from his forehead to his nose before finally landing on his lips. He melts into you, kissing you back instantly and pouring all of his emotions into it. The kiss speaks louder than words ever could but you need to tell him how you feel as well so you reluctantly pull away, leaving one last peck to his cheek before sitting back and looking up at him.

You tell him how you’re sorry too, that you both had your issues and he’s not to blame for the breakup considering that you had both done things that led up to it. You tell him that you appreciate how he just wanted what was best for you but how bad it hurt that he went about it the way that he did, that the last few weeks have been the worst weeks of your life and that you forgive him for everything, that maybe the break was what you needed to realise that what you have together isn’t worth throwing away over a little rough patch. You both promise to do better, promising to communicate with eachother and speak about what’s going on in your lives rather than hiding it and letting it get to the point of arguments, you agree that maybe you should both take some time away from work and the chaos that is real life, deciding to plan a holiday for just the two of you once the season is over and you can get away for a little bit, needing that quality time more than anything.

There’s a lot more tears and loads of kisses, holding eachother close and not wanting to let go until you begin to fall asleep on the sofa and decide it’s probably time to head to bed. He carries you upstairs, back into his bedroom, your bedroom, and places you down onto your side of the bed, letting you climb under the covers whilst he gets himself comfy on his side and the second he’s settled your crawling over to him, snuggling into his arms and giving him one final kiss before falling asleep almost instantly with him not far behind you, both feeling content and relaxed in eachother’s arms for the first time in what feels like forever.

[sparkylurkdragon]

Lately my stress dreams have had the same theme of "Weird Shit Goes Down With The Neighbours And Landlord." For a sample:

There was a great digging with many big digger vehicles out where the rock garden is in front of the office. The dirt was piled so high kids were sledding down it. Was there snow? Sometimes. The construction also involved removing all the doors and all the screens on the windows. Urist got out during the chaos and I spent most of a daynight (it was unclear) frantically looking for her amongst the Digging.

There was a rash of thievery amongst the tenants. After being yelled at, the landlord's solution was to tear down all the walls separating the apartments and make us have a 'market' where we reclaimed our stolen goods.

This one was just this morning. More theft! Someone broke into my apartment and stole a single article of clothing, but left a pile of clothes in the bathtub, including a winter jacket. Pissed off, I went outside to yell at the landlord, where I discovered that I had apparently not been the only one targeted. I didn't find out what the solution would be this time, but there was a clear vision of crowbar marks in logs. What these had to do with anything was not clear.

[tundrakatiebeanart]

I was so stressed this morning that I actually broke out into a stress rash and considered not streaming but I’m so glad I did. I did this great art piece that had a lot of meaning for me and my chat really cheered me up today. Y’all make me feel seen and loved every time I stream and in ways I couldn’t anticipate! Thanks so much everyone! I’ll post the story behind this art another time!

[apocalypticavolition]

Let's (re)Read The Dragon Reborn! Chapter 35: The Falcon

I keep forgetting about spoiler warnings. Spoiler warnings: everything. The whole book series. Seriously I discuss events from the last book multiple times in this.

We're once again starting a chapter with the waves icon because our characters are in urgent need of a boat in the middle of the night due to the rash actions of a male protagonist.

Screaming, they rushed upon us from the crowding brush. In a breath they were in our midst, their spears stabbing, slaying two of my best men and one of Gann’s immediately.

Three instant deaths is probably true, so some points to Orban for that.

Ogier really must have stopped in Remen at some time in the past, for the innkeeper had also found a wooden armchair that fit Loial, and filled it with cushions.

Well, it's on the banks of a major river in the middle of the continent. There were probably a lot of Ogier who'd use this route after the Ways went dark, possibly even during that period if they needed to get somewhere that was a distance from the nearest stedding or major city. The fact that Remen isn't a bigger place despite being where a trade road crosses a major river speaks to the slow breakdown of civilization that's been going on throughout the Third Age.

I must have known I would not be staying. I don’t seem to leave any mark behind me, of late.

An ironic statement, considering the social upheaval Perrin leaves in his wake. He's almost as bad as Rand at times, but he's not following himself so he doesn't get to appreciate that.

There was only one stableman on duty, a narrow-faced fellow in a dirty shirt, with lanky gray hair, who demanded to know who Perrin was to order four horses saddled, and who was his master, and what he was doing all bundled up to travel in the middle of the night, and did Master Furlan know he was sneaking off like this, and what did he have hidden in those saddlebags, and what was wrong with his eyes, was he sick?

I'm actually a little surprised that Master Furlan didn't warn this guy that there was a lady staying at the inn with a burly manservant. Even the bit characters on the Light side can't communicate!

“I am only fixing the mood in my head,” Loial said, sounding formal. Or perhaps defensive. “For my book. I have to put it all in. I believe I am coming to like it. Adventuring. Of course, I am.”

Loial is a vocal worrier, so he's trying to vent all his stress out now while there's time. Perrin, like Rand, tries to internalize his emotions, so he doesn't like talking about how shitty his day-to-day (night-to-night?) is.

Perrin kept a close eye on the horses, talking to them; horses had little tolerance for the unusual, such as being lifted into the air, but even the Warder’s stallion seemed soothed by his murmurs.

It's little things like this that show Perrin is really a friend to all living things, not just good at politicking with humans or running with wolves.

As the last line was tossed ashore and seized by a dockman, a girl in narrow, divided skirts burst out of the shadows between two warehouses, a bundle in her arms and a dark cloak streaming behind her. She leaped onto the deck just as the men at the sweeps began pushing off.

Since I'm already doing parallels this chapter, maybe I should be trying to find further Mat/Faile parallels than just their methods of boarding ships. My initial instinct of course is that this is crack theorizing, but Mat sounds the Horn at the beginning and she hands it to Olver at the end, so maybe there's something deeper here! (Probably not though.)

She was about his own age, he decided; he could not decide if her nose fit her face, or dominated it.

She's actually three years younger than he is, though they're just getting to the age where three years isn't so big a gap as all that. Well, he is anyway.

“The townsfolk think the Aielman chewed through the chain, or broke it with his bare hands. They had not decided which when I left.” She made a sound suspiciously like a giggle. “Orban was quite loud in his disgust that his wounds would keep him from hunting down the Aielman personally.”

Faile is crushing so hard. Perrin is oblivious.

He eyed her sideways. She spoke of fighting and killing as calmly as another woman might speak of baking. He had never heard of any Great Blackwood, but the Forest of Shadows lay just south of the Two Rivers.

As a general's noble daughter off on a epic quest, it makes sense that Faile doesn't see combat as any big thing. Perrin though, I think is suspicious that she's trying to verify that he's from the Two Rivers specifically, what with being surrounded by enemies who want him and his two bros dead. So good instincts, Perrin, even if you are barking up entirely the wrong tree.

“Only you free a caged Aielman, hold a long talk with him, then help him chop a dozen Whitecloaks into sausage. I assume you do this regularly; you certainly looked as if it were nothing out of the ordinary for you. I scent something strange in a party of travelers such as yours, and strange trails are what Hunters look for.”

Faile, meanwhile, is doing a great job at trampling all over Perrin's triggers. "You look like you kill a dozen people a day and it probably doesn't even bother you! I bet your favorite thing in the world is that axe, you probably should get rid of that hammer." Also note that her instincts aren't just correct in the immediate sense (this group having been in possession of the Horn recently) but again, she ends up guarding the Horn all the way at the end.

“Nimble fingers and nimble wits will take you a good deal further than a sword and muscles. Sharp eyes help, as well, but fortunately, I have these things.”

I suppose this is something she has in common with Mat as well but so far I'm still thinking is a fool's errand. With so large a cast, you're going to get people doubling up on fighting styles, and other than her jovial attitude right now she's not got much else to work with.

“And modesty, as well,” Perrin murmured. She did not seem to notice.

Oh sure and then I turn the page and the very next sentence makes me into a fool by showing her getting the same general lack of respect Mat gets.

She frowned at him—he had the feeling she did not give up a scent once she had raised it, but he was ready to offer her as many side trails as she would take—then said, “Have you ever heard of Manetheren?”

Yeah, this is actually the most suspicious conversation Perrin's had in a long, long time.

But there were other nations, other cities, in the Mountains of Mist, so old that not even Aes Sedai remember them. And think of all those stories about it being bad luck to enter the mountains. What better place for the Horn to be hidden than in one of those forgotten cities.

Oh and she wants to loot cursed ruins that only an idiot would seek out in the first place. Dammit jokes about parallels, you aren't supposed to be REAL.

“We are just travelers on our way to Illian, girl. What is your name? If I have to share this ship with you for days yet, I can’t keep calling you girl.”

Note that Perrin makes no attempt to introduce himself, which is another good instinct around dangerous strangers who seek him out and ask about the Two Rivers but actually kinda dickish in light of the conversation he's really having.

“I call myself Mandarb.” He could not stop the guffaw that burst out of him. Those tilted eyes regarded him with heat. “I will teach you something, farmboy.” Her voice remained level. Barely.

Perrin's not super great at smelling emotions yet, so let's note his impression of Faile here before he gets a cheat sheet: she's clearly upset that he's laughing at her name, but managing to stay calm.

She looked so crestfallen that he hastened to say, “I like the name Zarine. It suits you.” The heat flashed back into her eyes, and for a moment he thought she was about to produce one of her knives again.

Now she's embarrassed that the dude she crushes on is more fond of her parents' image of her than he is of the one she's trying to make for herself. Stabbing him wouldn't prove anything. (Also note that he only consciously worries about her stabbing him for the dumbest of reasons.) (Also note that Mat's love interest also has troubles with his name GODDAMMIT.)

“Farmboy! Perhaps I will call myself Faile. My father used to call me that, when I was little. It means ‘falcon.’ ”

Poor Perrin just got his first taste of self-fulfilling prophecy. Frankly he deserves it after laughing so hard at this poor girl.

Next time: Perrin has a bad dream!

[sapphosboy]

That was so stressful I broke out in hives and a stress rash, I’m not even kidding. My arms and hands are bright red right now lol

[bakedbakermom]

Hey teacher if you actually think taking a socially isolated six year old, sitting her down with the class, and then letting them talk about ALL THE THINGS THEY DON'T LIKE ABOUT HER is an acceptable way to treat a child then we do not have a different approach when it comes to child development, we have a different approach when it comes to being a human fucking being.

I Do Not Care what class rules she struggles with, that is abuse.

Hearing my daughter cry for the last few days as she recounts what she's feeling in that classroom... I can't explain what that feels like. When she was born, and I held her for the first time, I was Changed. I've tried to explain it so many times and the best I've got is. How the Grinch Stole Christmas. When his heart grew three sizes and it broke the little box? I felt that. I felt my heart growing inside me as a physical sensation so strong it was almost painful. It's beyond words.

The pain I feel for her now is beyond words in the same way. I am physically sick for her. She has been pouring her heart out to me. The phrases she uses:

I just curled up in a ball at my seat and was crying. Teacher may was well have written "Talk about Stupid (name)" on the whiteboard.

I'm worried I'll never be able to be happy at school again, and then maybe I'll never be able to be happy at all ever again.

Imagine if someone took a tiny baby, and they just put it in the trashcan. Teacher does that to me over and over.

Teacher only talks to me when I'm doing something wrong, I'm scared to go talk to her when I need something.

I'm a good kid! I know I am! Why can't Teacher see the angel in me?

I'm always crying at school and I hate it because they all think I'm a baby.

Teacher is always frowning at me. I hate my whole life right now, except my parents.

And she was singing the "I Wish I Wasn't Different" song from the Movies episode of Bluey. And she's got a fucking stress rash on her hand because she can't stop picking at herself.

SHE'S SIX FUCKING YEARS OLD.

I am astounded by the depth of her pain and I'm only feeling the echo of it in that piece of my heart she made.

This woman made my child feel that. To say I am incandescent with rage is barely scratching the surface.

I kept her out of school today (and gave her the best self-care a 6yo could ask for*) and feel massively guilty I haven't taken more action much sooner. She WILL NOT be made to feel this way one more goddamn minute. Tomorrow we talk to the principal and we will make them make this right.

* Last night she was telling me it felt like her heart used to be all pink and happy and now it's blue and has a frowny face and tears falling down, and then it broke in half and now this half is all the way down in my KNEE (I am raising a delightfully dramatic child).

So today, we had a Fix Daughter's Heart Day. I let her download a few cute but dumb apps on her tablet and she got to play them in her jammies during breakfast - that alone broke 3 boring routines that she finds tedious. We went to Build A Bear. Frankly, we went a little nuts at Build A Bear. We got junky mall food for lunch. We went to the little candy store that has "disappointing gummy BEARS but the best gummy WORMS in the whole world."

We stopped at the grocery store and got a little bit of junk food, a stuffed toy from the impulse aisle, she picked out a card for her dad for valentine's day, and we chose the stuff to make her favorite dinner, which is also the one she likes to help with - she pushes the switch on the Cuisinart to shred the cheese, it's adorable and slightly terrifying and she is drunk with power, giggling the entire time. She got downtime to craft and color and read while I cooked and helped her with words.

And the whole time, we talked. That was the best part. She talked to me, and I talked with her, good stuff and bad stuff and silly stuff and sweet stuff, and I swear we really Saw each other today.

I checked in with her about the color of her heart a bunch of times throughout the day. (Her answers were incredibly specific, btw.) Tonight at bedtime she said it was all the way pink again, and it was shaped like a cat and it was purring and making biscuits.

I am trying my ass off to be the mom I wish I'd had, the mom she deserves, the mom who protects her and uplifts her and cheers her on and comforts her and teaches her. This shit is HARD. This shit is WORTH IT, but this shit is hard.

[amplifyme]

Episode time!

A Gentle Rain-- I liked this episode, too; and it's interesting that I didn't want (forgot his name) to not be turned in (at first) while ALSO wanting him to accept responsibility and pay his dues. His self-inflicted "punishment" was really the voice of "conscience", and his The Scarlet Letter routine (though it was perfectly understandable to a degree) got staler and staler the more he retreated into cowardice. His wife's decisions and rationalizations were a great touch. I admired the line Cathy walked this episode, because it would be so easy to let the case grow cold or be closed off to the mother's avenging attitude simply because she valued her family Below. The "I'm sorry" scene was excellent, as was Vincent's speech that broke through (forgot his name)'s denial.

The Outside-- Stressed, stressed, stressed. Long time since an episode has brought that out in me. (As an aside, the man who sent down the wheelbarrow of flowers reminded me glaringly of Mr. Chuckle Teeth from the Revival, though I've only seen the character through screenshots floating around here. Love him regardless.) The children playing heavily into the plot (not subtle for Vincent/Cathy, getting cut, almost getting killed, getting traumatized from seeing Randal's body, etc.) was an excellent, excellent idea. Mary getting more screentime, her and Father's rash and unwise (though heartfelt) decision almost got them killed (by a group that loves to play games through terror even more than killing in cold blood) her reluctance to leave, and her plan of action juxtaposed brilliantly to William's pragmatic boldness, willingness to stamp out evil even if it involved violence, and continual push of her and Father's more safety-oriented perspective. Vincent throughout this entire episode... wow. And even Cathy-- it wasn't really her fault this time around so much as Father's for forgetting about her (because of everything on his mind but also his other, more urgent priorities-- interesting dynamic); and though it went against Vincent's wishes, there was nothing else for her to do, really. Being chased down the hallway, shooting, getting caught and threatened, calling Vincent back, and trying to stop the child with her gun (a fitting parallel-- another part of her that contributed to his "downfall") was magnificent. The Outside left me with so many unclear thoughts and even more material for rumination. But here's one: they were all wrong and right-- Father and Mary heart to help was right but wrong for their community's rules (and neither response is wrong, only the context); William was right in his protective instinct but wrong to expect Vincent to be their weapon (though he hadn't meant to strip his friend of humanity); Cathy was wrong to push Vincent's mandate not to get involved but right to help when Father directly asked for her participation (BEHIND Vincent's back-- another fascinating touch); Vincent is right that bloodthirst is a part of him but wrong to assume it taints the whole of himself; etc. etc. Love any and all thoughts I might have missed (what was discussed when this aired, or after; what a lot of Classics miss in this ep.; what I might have missed, etc.) All of the scenes were brilliant, and everything haunting.

Another meaty one to sink my teeth into. See below...

Oh, I'm glad you liked A Gentle Rain! I wish we'd gotten to see more of Kanin and Livvy in later episodes. Livvy does show up again a few times, but Kanin continues on only in fanfic. I remember reading an interview with Shelly Moore and Linda Campanelli (the writers) where they spoke about how tough it was to sell this story in the writer's room. Apparently none of the male writers found it believable that a mother might still be so deeply affected by her child's death 16 years later. 😲 I'm very glad they were able to persuade the rest of the room to give this one a shot.

On to darker things...

I had to laugh at your comparison of Long, the grocer, to Mr. Chuckle Teeth. Now I'll never watch that scene again without thinking that!

Nothing much to add to the first part of your musings on The Outsiders. As an aside, Paramount Plus screwed up with the incomplete title on this one. That's important because the title doesn't refer just to the outsiders who invade the tunnel community but also to the one member of that community who is also in many ways an outsider.

And even Cathy-- it wasn't really her fault this time around so much as Father's for forgetting about her (because of everything on his mind but also his other, more urgent priorities-- interesting dynamic); and though it went against Vincent's wishes, there was nothing else for her to do, really.

A couple things here. Father doesn't forget about Cathy. If you'll remember, he asked Cathy to meet Pascal and a group of children to escort the kids to a helper uptop. Pascal never makes it to the meeting because his group is ambushed on the way there. That's when Matthew and Simon are killed by the outsiders and Vincent kills the small group who attacked them (marking the first time we see him kill a woman, by the way).

And I strongly disagree with you about Cathy's decision to venture below. There was absolutely something else she could have done instead. She could have done as Vincent asked and stayed away. These lines are so, so important to the arc of Vincent's storyline going forward. It's not always brought up in future episodes, but the seed of his downward spiral starts here, I think. From the scene on Cathy's balcony:

C: Well then, let me try to help. V: No! You must stay away from it. C: That world, those tunnels, are part of my life too. And so are you! V: And if the worst should happen, you must not be anywhere near. C: If the worst happens, I want to be by your side. With you. V: No. Not like that. Not ever again.

Three times he tells her to stay away, because he already knows how this is going to end. He knows he'll end up killing at least some of the outsiders and he doesn't want her there when it happens.

Not like that, he says to her. Not ever again. Translation: I don't want you there when I kill. I don't want you to witness that. I can't continue to be burdened by the visceral emotions I always feel in you when I've killed in your protection, and with you so close. With you invariably throwing yourself at me in the immediate aftermath of my killings, when everything within me is nothing but beast and everything within you is exaltation at my protection of you, and your love for me at its strongest and most primal. I don't want to be that for you anymore. I don't want to feel that in you anymore - not from my killings. To steal another of Vincent's lines from A Happy Life that fits here as well: "It mocks our dream."

It's important to remember that Vincent draws a very distinct line in his own mind about what is acceptable when it comes to protection of the tunnel community and their world as opposed to the killing he's forced to do Above, in Catherine's world. His posture and the way he holds himself, even the way he kills, is vastly different from when he dispatches the first group of outsiders without Cathy there, to when she is the one in danger and right there with him. And Cathy seems to finally understand why he didn't want her there when she watches him go absolutely ape-shit on the group at the end. She tells him, "No, stop!" Too little, too late, Cathy.

Vincent is right that bloodthirst is a part of him but wrong to assume it taints the whole of himself; etc. etc.

I'm not so sure I agree with that. I think his assumption is correct. What he does when he loses himself in protection of Cathy does taint him.

V: How can you even look at me? C: Because I know you… I know who you are. V: You don't know me. C: Vincent… There are dark places in all of us. V: But part of me feeds in that darkness and I am lost in it.

He's right. He's not exaggerating. He can very pragmatically dispose of any threat to his world and his family, but when it's for Cathy, it's a whole different set of emotions and needs. And Vincent knows as long as that's true, he can never have the kind of life, be the kind of man, he wants to be with her.

As far as reactions... Vincent fans tended to view this ep as a deeper look at him and his dichotomies, while fans of the romance part of the story didn't like it because of the level of violence, and didn't seem to understand the ramifications.

Okay, that exhausted me. I need a nap now. Enjoy Orphans, it's a well-needed respite. It's also deeply sad though, too, for both Vincent and Cathy.