#WHY IS IT EVEN DIFFERENT BETWEEN MALE AND FEMALE ROBIN IN THE FIRST PLACE

[violentlydefending]

this still pisses me off years later bc i have mental issues but why do female robin and chrom have literally the worst possible dumbass romcom shit for their support convos while male robin and chrom actually have. like. a conversation with each other in which they learn about one another and grow as people.

[fandoms-in-law]

Missing Herself

Summary: Inspired by 'It's all True' and 'I miss her and I blame you' by Malinda Steve has worked through who he is, and how she has been made to be. Robin helped. When his parents interrupt a pool party they might just find her family aren't to be messed with.

Author's note: I wrote most of this in 2 writing sprints listening to the songs it's based on, so if it reads weirdly, blame that. The reason I do months writing fics daily is to remind myself I can get the words out and use the too many ideas I hoard, not to edit on top of the chaos life keeps becoming.

My Idea for today's fic: 'It's All True' + 'I miss her and I blame you' - Steve's self growth and self hate for who he was, only able to turn some of it onto his parents when they turn up interrupting a get together and judging who he's becoming.

/\/\

Steve had been many things over his life, but especially since befriending Dustin he’d been worried. This was a boy that embodied a lot of the things Tommy used to judge and scoff at, in Steve’s presence at least it stayed that low.

All the rest of the kids were like that too, free in a way he’d never been, but that just gave him more ways to worry about them. Lucas seemed to understand it the best why he worried about their times at school, but then they’d had a conversation once over why that was. Steve was still reeling from the things he’d never have noticed as being different in how the people around him were treated, especially since Billy had been his first thought about racists when that conversation happened.

But then there was Robin, saying he could show the complexity within him, that it didn’t matter if in the past, if upstream of who he was now, he’d been bad, had troubles, because they could flow, run to a better place, and that she’d run with him.

He raced becoming friends with her, thanks in no small part to the truth serum, but wanted to keep running, to make daily life the drama she escalated it to in some of her rambles.

In fact, when Steve explained how he felt towards the kids, Robin said he was the one who was worried and free, and full of contradictions. She saw something in him that he’d never believe was there, and love it, love him for it all.

She even let him embrace the days when masculinity just didn’t fit him. She brushed off the few skirts and dresses he’d snuck into shoe boxes and brought the little girl he wished he could have been sometimes out. She didn’t fit the Harrington expectations, but that was who she was, fluid, between male and female.

He loved her just the same, believe everything could be golden and broken at once in a way he’d been taught could never be true. If people were innocent until they learnt to be jaded, well Steve was pretty sure that he was doing the reverse now, learning to be hopeful that he wasn’t too much or too simple, but just enough for everyone.

Arranging a pool party felt easy with the kids wanting to stick together and including him in that. It was even easier with Eddie saying he wanted to get to know him, and Robin repeating that everything, even the contradictions could be true at once.

He never expected his parents to bring fire to douse everything he’d started growing, or for his friends to throw the water on them to prevent that… He probably should tell El that it wasn’t sensible to use her powers for that, but it was funny.

/\/\

Steve loved gathering his family around him, laughing with them uncontrollably in ways he’d never allowed before.

The photo boxes and albums his parents had were nothing to who he was becoming but then they had never wanted him. They’d wanted the perfect boy, not the little girl playing with Carol’s dolls, or the teenager trying out hairdos.

Tears had worked for a while; they’d gotten his parents to accept the oddities in his fashion sense that didn’t fit masculinity. Just carrying on got him through when it didn’t, but he still wished he could have had more days trying on dresses or stealing cheerleading outfits because they were the skirts he could most easily get her hands on. The little girl had to be poisoned for the Harrington’s to give him any support but Steve missed her, herself and who she was the times she took his focus.

Robin had met her, had furnished a wardrobe in the spare room with clothes she didn’t like for Steve to wear when she wanted to feel nice, to be feminine for a while.

At the pool party Steve decided to focus on hosting rather than swimming, and having had the remedy to the poison wore a dress for it all.

“STEVEN! What is the meaning of this?” The voice thundered from the kitchen as everyone was by the pool. If he’d been able to get men’s clothes on, he’d have been scrambling to do so, but instead Steve waited, with his family, as his father stormed through to the poolside.

His mother had attempted to greet the guests Steve had over, attempted to appear a good hostess, and failed as his father held a hand up, intending to just get Steve’s attention but instead got all eyes on him. The attention was enough he threw out the strict privacy he usually insisted on for telling Steve off and began listing all the faults he could see in front of him or from the minutes walk through the house.

“You should have kept the friends you had-” The rant had been going on for a while, Max had migrated to be at Steve’s side, Robin on the other, but that comment made Steve laugh, nudging Robin towards the house.

“I still talk to Carol Perkins occasionally. Robin looked her up after school, got some cute pictures from when I was a kid, and I gotta say, I blame you that there aren’t more of them.” Steve stood now, facing her father down in a way she usually wouldn’t but was just fed up and bored enough to do so. The entire scene was making her embarrassed, but of her family not herself for one of the first times. “I blame you for so much actually.”

He could watch his father preparing to yell, but before it could come, Max was there, in front of him, addressing his father in a similar way to how she’d argued with him, but far more icily. “I know a good lawyer, and I bet neglect everyone in town knows about will stick faster than superglue. You don’t know Steve. You aren’t here and he can blame you for so fucking much if this is how you greet him when there are guests over. Await the lawsuit and get the fuck out of here, before the chief of police decides verbal assault is something you can be taken to the station for.”

“It is actually. I just don’t have any handcuffs on me and doubt he’ll come easily. You kids don’t need to see more violence if I can avoid it.” Hopper grumbled, huffing at her somehow while glaring venomously at the Harrington’s.

Eddie splashed, pulling himself out of the pool and heading to his clothes, but calling, “Since you don’t know, Steve acts like he knows nothing but is the man to see if you need strategies to survive, or to find a detail everyone else misses. Even if he seems insane noticing it.” The last bit was added teasingly, grinning over at Steve.

“Yeah! And he’s always ready to help, even if he judges everyone, probably because that’s what you expect of him.” Dustin agreed, hurrying to Steve’s side.

“Well like you jerks, everyone thinks they know Steve, but barely anyone knows a single thing about her.” Mike goaded from poolside, tone making it unclear just who he was insulting, helped by him pulling a face at the group gathering about Steve.

Robin grinned, nudging his side, “Seems straighter than a ruler, but-” He shushed her by shoving his hand over her entire face.

“Don’t set the yelling off again. I already need to get my migraine meds once they’re gone.” He murmured to her, before startling to look between Eddie and Hopper, at the sound of metal hitting the floor at Hopper’s feet. “The belt buckle was actual handcuffs not just a style piece?” His voice was still quiet but Eddie managed to hear and wink at him in reply.

Mr Harrington was glaring over all the kids, kept silent, Steve guessed, by not knowing if anyone who’d spoken up was Hopper’s kid, but he was definitely ready to fight once the handcuffs were seen. “Now see here, you can’t invade a man’s house, and arrest him for no-” A bigger splash interrupted him and it took Steve a moment to figure out what had happened beyond a mass of water suddenly hitting his father.

A glance to the side revealed El, still in the now empty pool with her arm outstretched towards his parents. Silence lasted a few moments before Jonathan burst out laughing. He was on the other side of the pool, from what Steve could guess based on the people around him, having been trying to keep Will and El calm. The laughter soon spreads around everyone, except Hopper and his parents, who found his father handcuffed and them both being led to the police cruiser, still dripping wet with no towels being offered. That was mostly because they’d been stood in front of where all the towels were ready for people getting out of the pool and wet towels wouldn’t help at all.

“I was serious about that lawyer, you know. I’ll get the number off Mum and you can, I don’t know, get independence from their meddling or something.” Max said as they calmed down and Steve had to hug her for it.

“I know, but right now, I’ve got my family and this girl wants to relax and host a garden party since the pool is now emptied.” Se laughed, looking at the mess the pool throwing had left behind. Steve wasn’t going to miss herself if his family had anything to do with it. She knew they’d all be there for her, lawyers, arrests, pool throwing and all.

[stranger-chichka]

The Wheelers and the Creels parallels: are they connected or not?

Having read @doriandrifting 's post on Karen/Alice and having in mind some of my own speculations and observations I just want to share some more interesting details + I wrote this one a while ago.

1. Surnames

Creel and Wheeler. A creel - a cylinder on which film, wire, thread, or other flexible materials can be wound and a wheel - a circular object connected at the centre to a bar, used for making vehicles or parts of machines move. Both a creel and a wheel have similar forms. In s4 we see 1) a wheelchair in Creel's house when Victor tells Nancy his story; 2) a wooden wheel behind Jonathan behind his back while he's talking about Nancy with Argyle; 3) Jonathan & Argyle are speaking about wheels after Rink o Mania fight and Mike is also there (read about it here). We also see reels in the library when Nancy is looking for the info on Creels (I've mentioned it here). They are shown to us a few times, so the Duffers clearly wanted us to notice them. We see the reel 5 times to be exact. And @madwheelerz already wrote that Karen Wheeler and the Wheeler women (Karen, Nancy, Holly) all have five-letter names. The Creel children (Henry, Alice) both have five-letter names.

We also see reels in 2x04 while the chief talks about Crissy's death (the day Mike left Hawkins) and the next thing we see - the wheel of a landing plane (the one Mike was flying on). GOD, THEY'RE SO RELATED.

Also, I don't know if it means something but Creel sounds like "кріль" which is a rabbit in Ukrainian and Wheel sounds like "віл" which is an ox in Ukrainian (I don't know if the Duffers may have some connection to Ukraine, but I know Finn played that character Boris in "Goldfinch" who was Ukrainian). Rabbits are associated with both Creels and Wheelers while oxen are castrated bulls and Robin says that Nancy's "shot in the dark is a bull's eye" (again, look for photo references here).

Then I decided to be even more delusional and google the difference between ox vs bull and the main difference is what? Their gender. Ox can be either male or female, though they are often only male, while a bull refers to strictly male cattle. Bisexual Wheeler siblings???

Talking about Nancy's & Robin's visit to the library. The very first thing we see is the clocktower, then the girls. We can see a keyhole on Robin's back, which should tell us something, right? There are no coincidences in Stranger Things, remember that.

They're talking about Victor, of course, and Robin calls him "a grandpa murderer." Is it possible for him to have grandchildren? Well, theoretically speaking - yes, and we may even know them.

Henry can be El's biological father (it would explain her powers and his attitude toward her in the lab);

Alice can be alive and there's a theory that Karen might be her (it would explain why she has her own poster, why Henry showed Nancy the future and why El is referred to as a cousin to Mike in s1);

Two more interesting notices:

they need basement archives, and the basement is mostly associated with Mike and Wheelers while the attic - with Vecna and Creels;

after they succeeded in finding what they needed they call Dustin and Robin says Nancy's "shot in the dark was a bull's eye" while literally having a bull on her jacket (just a cool detail).

2. Rabbits

What's with rabbits? Of course, the reference to "Alice in Wonderland", but you better read @paladin-n-cleric 's whiterabbitgatetheory, my focus - Creeld and Wheelers. We see Alice sliding, having fun on a rocketship slide in a yellow dress and seeing the dead rabbit. We see her scared face and suddenly it's all in yellow light. Rocketship. Yellow light. Will. Both are GOOD while Henry/001/Vecna - EVIL.

At the end of s4 we also have this scene with Karen, who took some toys from the attic (this is the place where Vecna regain his strength) and one of the toys is Nancy's Mr Rabbit. I feel this scene somehow parallels the one from s2, when Karen forces Mike to give his toys for the yard sale, even the ones that "have way too much emotional value." On the contrary, she lets Nancy save Mr Rabbit if she wants. I think by such a contrast the Duffers wanted us to see how Karan changes throughout the show in a good way.

Talking about toys, we have one more scene in s4 with Mike where the word "toys" is used. In Suzie's house. Where almost everything is from Mike's POV. I also found a subtle parallel to this scene from s1, but let's talk about s4 first.

After the scene on the kitchen with "Father's kidneys! Father's kidneys!" (somebody wrote a brilliant post about that moment but I can't find it to give credit :c it seems to me @doriandrifting was analysing these moments in Bingham’s house but I can’t find the post) Cornelius turns off the electricity and we see Mike's reaction. Eden says: "How many times do I have to tell you? That (=electricity=love) is not a toy!" Then she leads him past the boys (we can see Jonathan, Argyle, Mike and the grandpa's clock but we can't see Will) and sits him under the "TIME OUT!" poster with the words: "You make another escape, I'm getting Father."

Why do I have the feeling these words apply to Will? He escaped from the Upside Down in s1 and s2, and now Vecna threatens him with Lonnie? We'll see Lonnie in s5, mark my words.

Now, the parallel. I would never notice it if it weren't for the timer. Karen is the one who visits Joyce in s1 and sees the lights in her house. She knocks 7 times and brings a casserole with her. Casse (from french) - means "breakage", "heist", "damage", "wrecker" and rôle (from french) - means "role", "part". Someone related to Karen played a part in what happened to Will? Also, the light in the window behind Joyce is yellow (yellow=Will=good) while it's blue behind Karen and blue light = Vecna = evil. I'm not saying she's evil, no, but she's connected to Vecna. As well las Mike. He's definitely not evil, but he's associated with blue and blue light is associated with Vecna (I'm also working on a post connected to it).

So, Holly is the one who notices the blinking of the lights (while Karen says to Joyce: "If you need anything, anything at all... Ted and I are here for you" and then they're talking about Mike) and she follows them. I wonder if she told something about what she saw Karen or not...

In s4 Holly has Lite Brite where we can see a rabbit. And she wears the bracelet on her right hand (the same hand Mike wears his watch on).

3. Running

Alice is running on stairs and we have these numerous shots of Karen on the stairs (she's running on some of them) + Mike's Spotify playlist has a lot of songs the key theme of which is running.

4. Time & weather

I want to talk about this moment in Creel’s house. Time. Weather.

The first time we see Karen in s1 she and Mike have a time-related conversation. She says “15 after” meaning it’s 20:15 and Mike’s running up the stairs to ask for 20 more minutes for them to finish the game, but Karen insists on finishing it the next weekend. The campaign took 2 weeks to plan. It took 10 hours to play (here is a great theory by @willthewise7 and @doriandrifting about these numbers). Then Mike asks his dad for 20 more minutes while he’s trying to fix the TV (=electricity problems). And more moments with "time" from s1 below.

In s2 we see the parents taking photos of their children before Halloween and Snow Ball. Both times Karen says: "One more". 001 = Hanry = Vecna.

I don't have much time to think about the weather, but what caught my attention was Alice's dress when Vecna killed his mother. It has umbrellas all over it. Umbrellas=rainy weather=water. Water is bad. It leads to the post I'm working on- about IT/Stranger Things parallels I hope I will have finished it by Saturday.

One more observation. It's connected to russian code. A trip to China sounds nice. Maybe a trip to China foreshadows our journey through the Creel family? Something like that, don't know how to formulate it correctly.

+ the flowers on the pillow and on the door in Creel’s house look similar 👀

Bonus from s4.

[obsessivelycapricious]

Got an idea for a reader insert fic for the DC universe. I'm probably not going to write it so I'm putting it out there like this instead. Hell if anyone wants to run with this then brilliant. Just shoot me a message and we can talk. Its female reader insert and can be for many different pairings. Male/female/platonic. Mostly with villains.

Shes an artist and her paintings aren't really very popular as they tend to depict the underbelly of Gotham and usually feature a villain or two. the Elite don't like to dwell on such things so theres a bunch of canvases in her apartment unsold.

Shes also got a dark past and made some dumb romantic choices when she was younger. Sionis almost ran her out of town but Gotham is her home and she has nowhere else to go. Batman had to save her. It was a whole thing. She's still terrified of the black mask.

But then we reach an anniversary of Batman and his fight to protect the poor defenseless citizens of the city and someone picks one of her paintings to be on display at the gala. Its not even her favourite painting because to her it just isn't quite finished yet.

So she attends, rather reluctantly putting on a dress and everything. any interested potential buyers decide not to after hearing her describe the rest of her collection which is predictable but disappointing but at least she can admire the pretty people.

Just as things get interesting and she meets the one and only Bruce Wayne - did he just flirt with her? - disaster strikes as the joker and his goons interrupt the event with some typical scheme. Joker throws one of his blades into the heart of her painting during his dramatic monologue and she stares at the painting. Realising its finally complete.

She gets home safe from the gala after batman swoops in and saves her again. But at least this time its by proxy so she can keep some of her dignity. But when she gets home all of her paintings are gone and her apartment has been turned over. She finds out days later that the painting in the gala has also been taken.

A few weeks later she is walking home from work and is kidnapped and bundled into the back of a van. She's terrified its Sionis catching up to her again but they drag her into the basement of a seemingly random club and when they take the bag off her head she is sat at a table with Gotham's infamy elite. Cobblepot, the riddler, two face, mr. freeze, the list goes on. It could also include ivy and Selena kyle maybe harley too? At the top end of the table in command position sits the joker.

They explain, through no small amount of bickering and insults thrown between each other, that they have a proposition for her. They want to give her the opportunity to deal her paintings exclusively to them. First refusal goes to the villain that features in the painting and after that they'll arrange an auction. If no one wants the painting then it can be sold elsewhere.

Our reader is no meek and mild wallflower and can hold her own in the room negotiating a fee for herself for the paintings already stolen and future installments for exclusivity and convincing them to offer her protection. They laugh at first and wonder why she would need protection when the worse gotham has to offer is in the room with her now but she shudders and suggests that if Sionis is no match for them then they won't mind making sure he doesn't get near her again. Her one caveat to the deal is that if the batman shows an interest he gets first dibs. He did save her life after all.

And so begins an unlikely partnership with Gotham's criminal underbelly. Because they arent house trained and dont seem to understand how to use a door properly, her appartment keeps getting broken into when a new batch of paintings is ready to go. Johnny frost is usually the one who drops off her pay.

Sometimes she comes across her new clients in unexpected places. She meets Edward Nigma while out to buy the paper who spent his morning coaching her through various riddles. Sometimes she finds a car waiting outside to take her to Penguins club or on the very rare occasion she finds an errant joker in her apartment, constantly keeping her on her toes with his bouts of madness. She gets to know a few of them on an almost intimate level though she is vigilant enough to never cross that line. They somehow always keep her out of the mob business they conduct so she always has plausible deniability and so they dont have a good reason to kill her.

Meanwhile, Sionis hears from Victor Zsaz that our reader is flourishing rather than hiding away scared for her life like he left her. Whats more she is painting again and for other people?? This wont do. She belongs to him and only him.

So begins our final act where sionis carries out his diabolical plan and the readers favourite villian swoops in and saves the day. This could be a choose your own ending sort of thing where the reader can pick who she wants. Including batman and a version where the villians all team up and work together. Or yknow. Writers choice if youd rather just write one. Im a fan of it being the joker or batman or nightwing/robin (if you fit some interaction in between the plot so theres enough intent there)

Then the finale to it may be romantic and may end with the reader and their fave releasing the pent up tension between the two. Or if youd rather have a more platonic non relationshipy ending you could have the reader finish off sionis and take that step into villainy herself.

Ta daaaa! The end.

Message me if you wanna use the story! I would love to read it or see stuff about it.

[pure-kirarin]

The rose left unwatered (Law x f!reader)

Heyo guys ! this is my first multi part fanfiction and I hope that you will all like it =w=.  No TW for now apart for coming smut in next chapters~  This was originally a request by @soul-stealer-reaper​ . Thanks for requesting :) originally you asked for a scenario with rough NSFW where Law has a crush on a girl that the government is afraid of and that has high bounty. As this will have some parts, everything you asked for will come in the next chapters so no worries :’) ! I won’t hide that wrote quite freely tho, I hope that it’s fine.  Synopsis : You have felt unwanted for so long that you forgot the last time you felt like you belonged. Quite paradoxical, when you are one of the most wanted “criminals” in the new world. You cross paths with Law after joining the strawhats at Fishman Island to “kill some time” and you both feel a weird connection from the moment your eyes met, curiosity, hatred or desire, did it really matter as long as feelings were involved ? ---------------------------

A rose left unwatered will wither, A heart left unloved will rot, A sweet dream left untouched will go bitter,  A love left unspoken will be forgot. Nemo -  Murder in Venice

The first time that Law saw you, he found you extremely annoying. He remembered that he saw your wanted poster somewhere, with one of the highest bounties that he has ever seen. Seeing such a high bounty made him raise an eyebrow at first, what could you have done to have the whole world on your back ? The second thought that came to his mind was that of detachement, then he flinched at that thought.

The first time that Law saw you in person was after his Allience with the strawhats. You stayed at the ship the whole time, you didn't even bother to follow others to punk Hazard or to help them with their plans. He thought that you were an extremely selfish person and you reminded him of the person that he hated most. That way you had of doing what you wanted without caring about others, the smirk you had on your lips at all times, never submitting, always acting so sure of yourself, it irritated him.

How could someone get such a strong reaction out of him ? He didn't even know, he always eyed you from afar and it was enough to know that you prfoundly, passionately got on his nerves.

You joined the strawhats in the Fishmen Island, finding your way to them and just asking to join. Luffy's simplistic demeanor meant that he accepted right away, not caring about who you were and not flinching at your high bounty.

You made it clear that you were just staying to be entertained, in fact, you didn't want to fight, you didn't want to help anyone, your curiosity was just peaked by Luffy, by that man that defied the world government, by that man that defied everyone at Marineford. You weren't impressed, but you just felt sympathy towards him and wanted to find some company.

You found what you were looking for, in fact, life with the strawhats was enjoyable, you didn't get along with Usopp or Nami. The former thought that you were « too scary » and would kill them in their sleep, the latter hated how little you were willing to cooperate.

You had your own reason, but nobody on that ship was able to grasp your personnality, you just had your own way of thinking, your own internal logic that nobody seemed to get. Who were you ? Why were you there and why was the whole world on your back ? All these questions were provoking Law, teasing him endlessly. His curiosity was growing day after day and you were always there, on a lounge chair enjoying the burn of the sun on your skin, not caring about anything else, not caring about him, not that he cared...did he ? You got on his nerves just by being there, he felt obseverd yet, he wasn't the kind of people to get flustered but your gaze was so intense, feline.

It was a soft night on the sunny, a few days before getting to Dressrosa.  On this night, the strawhats decided to gather around after dinner like always. They enjoyed socializing and spending time together, telling stories and playing silly games.  It was quite late so Momo was already sleeping. Everyone was on the deck enjoying some drinks and you were on the crow's nest, peaceful.

« Y/N-chaaawn~ » Screamed Sanji, making you look down. « Come have some fun with us, don't stay there on your own ! »

« - Yeah Y/N ! We're all having fun here. »  Said Luffy.

You jumped gracefully from the crow's nest just like a cat. You then looked around circularly before taking place between Law and Robin as she silently made some space for you. The atmosphere was light and everyone was enjoying themselves. Zoro was drinking bottle after bottle as Sanji was screaming at him. Usopp was telling you all for the tenth time about how he took down a sea king with his little finger and Luffy and Chopper were captivated by how cool that was.

You were just silently enjoying that sense of peace till Nami asked you out of nowhere

« Oh true Y/N, I actually never asked but I am curious, why is your bounty so high ? What have you done ? »

For a second your expression changed and everyone's eyes were on you. You just decided to tell them some kind of lie and you said that you killed a celestial dragon. Everyone looked at you in awe, killing a celestial dragon means that you had to escape from admirals. You excused yourself then saying you were tired, therefore going to sleep.

After hours of partying Strawhats went to sleep. You got out of the girl's quarter wearing only a night gown. Your thoughts were waltzing since earlier's events and you were looking melancolically at the ocean. The sound of the waves was so calming, you got close to the board of the sunny, placing your elbows on the wooden surface. You didn't notice it when Law came your way, he wasn't sleeping either, his sleeping schedule was always herractic. He was still intrigued by the lie you told earlier and by your overall attitude, something about you drew him towards you like a magnet.

-(Y/N)-ya...You didn't kill a celestial dragon, did you?

His voice was low and hoarse, stealing a murmur out of your lips. Your eyes met his, gray, icy. It was the first time he said your name outloud, actually, you briefly ever interacted since he got on this ship.

-Trafalgar ?..

You were wondering why did he bring this up, he never ever showed interest in you and you in him. In fact, now that you looked at him more in detail, you could say that he was an exceptionally handsome male with soft dark hair and a gloomy but all the more seductive cast of demeanor.

He could obtain any female he wanted at a snap of his fingers. You looked away and added :

-I thought that you disliked me. Why do you even ask ?

He raised an eyebrow, but got back to his stoic expression almost immediatly. He didn't know that it showed. However, you were wrong, he was starting to get intrigued by you, by your high bounty, by the detached way you acted. He was usually the one to observe and analyse people, but something about you...He couldn't put a finger on.

-I don't like lies.

-I have my own reasons...I'm sure there are a lot of things that you want to keep secret.

You hesitated then looked his side. He seemed calm still and just shrugged, ready to go back to his spot but then you added ;

-I lied because I didn't want to involve anyone in this...When I was just a child, I was a part of a dozen kids that were selected to take part into a « government experiment »...I don't want to go into details but...you clenched your fist, eyes fixed on an imaginary point in front of you I am the only survivor of that experiment...Therefore I'm being tracked... We were given power...To this day I don't know its extent...But I know that with just a blow of my fingers I could...you gasped How could a child be granted such a power ? Why did they have to choose for me ? I didn't want any of this....I never wanted to fight, I don't want to fight. I just wanted to be normal, to have a family, to feel wanted...haha...your laugh was bitter I mean, I know that I am the most wanted person you probably met, but I didn't mean it in that way. I hope that this satisfies your curiosity, Trafalgar Law.

Your eyes met, he looked in them, deep, searching for traces of honesty. You were telling the truth, there wasn't a doubt. He liked the way his name sounded out of your lips, it was the first time that he heard these three letters murmured by you. It's as if his first name sounded different, you had that way of saying it, almost like a whisper. You looked so vulnerable in your nightgown, so fragile despite your usual arrogant carapace. The fiery tigress looked like a sweet kitten and he was surprised by the way he just wanted to reassure you. He brushed that thought quickly and added, stoic ;

-I see, why did you tell me ?  

-You just asked me to, no ? I just felt like we were a bit alike...Ah. Also, quit asking me questions....This is starting to feel like a doctor examination...Now it's my turn to ask. Why do you even care ? I didn't think that the surgeon of death was such a curious person.

He scratched his chin, hesitating for a second, but then he just said bluntly ;

-The first time I saw you, I thought that you were extremely annoying.

- Ah ? you looked at him with a straight face, but still a bit offended If we're playing first impressions then...

-But I get it now.

He wasn't annoyed, in fact, he was just fascinated. It wasn't animosity that he felt but desire to know more about you. It wasn't that he was making sure that you're not endangering anyone, he wanted to look at you, it was just excuses upon excuses, rationalization for a case of irrational fascination. Now that the diagnostic was there, he could understand his emotions more clearly.

-You are talking in riddles but well...Whatever...Why did you form an alliance with Luffy by the way ? I wonder how you're able to handle all of his energy if you can't even stand mine haha.

-Let me correct you ; I don't hate you. He stops for a moment then he adds. There is a man that I would like to kill.

You turn now, back against the wooden border of the ship. You had an amused look on your face, wondering who was that man that he wanted to take down ;

-Now that's interesting ! Let me guess, who is it ?

-You are quite curious yourself, (Y/N)-ya...

He thought it was only fair, you opened up to him, he opened up to you, but telling you the details wasn't for now.

-So you are using the strawhats ?

-I am not sure who is using who. And what is your reason for joing the strawhats ?

-Luffy, you said with dreamy eyes, it's the D in his name...I have been drawn to people with this letter in their names like a magnet...I don't know...I just believe it's fate...

He was startled by your answer, so you knew about the « D » letter ? He also had this letter in his name...He just added then, with a face that didn't betray his surprise ;

-Oh , a girl like you believes in such romantic stories ?

-And what is a girl like me like ? You added, amused. I mean, apart from annoying.

-...Quit it already.

His tone was stable as always. He didn't show it but he thought that it was cute of you, how you insisted and played along. You faced him, your eyes looking right into his and you weren't one to look down, oh no. Irisis into his irisis, looking for him and digging something into him. He didn't even know what you meant by such a look, once again, feline.

The salty smell of the ocean's water mixed with the odor of your fruity perfume made that moment a bit more enjoyable and he wasn't even the type of person to enjoy chatting.

Check mate, you made up for that horrible first impression. You added then ;

-You avoided my question by the way, why wouldn't I believe in « such romantic stories » ? What do you think you know about « a girl like me » ?

You got a bit closer, amused, and he thought that it was getting a bit dangerous. You had a fake woeful look in your eyes. His limbs were filled to the brim with that ocean perfume of yours mixed with that sweet taste, and for a second it was as if that odor operated some kind of spell over him, because a surprising thought occured to his mind ; what would your lips taste like ? Certainly salty like the ocean and a tad like peaches.

Unsettled and unfocused he said ;

-Shouldn't you be sleeping ?

In reality, he didn't want these thoughts to make a nest out of his head and decided to cut the conversation quite abruptly. Your rocked your body back, almost like a child and rose your eyebrows in a semi-sarcastic semi-dramatic way.

-I'm a bit too old for a bed time don't you think, Trafalgar ?

-Just Law.

-Yes yes ! L-a-w...See you tomorrow ! You're not as uptight as I thought.

-(Y/N)-ya.

He just said your name in a strict way, probably indicating that you needed to go. His tone was firm, stop teasing already.

You looked at him with a diminishing smile, pronouncing every single letter so slowly, stretching his name on your lips so that these three tiny letters seemed endless. You tossed your hair, and something about the whole situation, about your feminine charm, something about the breeze of the night made the both of you feel unbearable tension. The type of tension that happens between a man and a woman at three in the morning, that tension that makes every little detail, every look in the eyes, every brush of the fingers feel indecent.

The eyes of a woman can't lie, his ego was stroked as he thought he had a glimpse of your hidden desire.You turned to go back to the girl's quarters, his eyes still hanged on your silhouette. ----------- I hope that you liked this first part. Please tell me what you think. It is a great motivator to know that I’m writing and being read. <3 I wish you all a nice day !

[circular-time]

#so she might at least have tried to moderate that and answer questions about her past while hiding her present

i hadnt put it together like this but yeah oh thats exactly what shes doing! trying to offer yaz some insight in past concerns while still hiding new concerns (not like shes been doing such a great job talking about past concerns but the intention was there :P) which is obviously not what yaz wants like, yeah she wants to know about what was up but she also just wants the doctor to trust her with all things i think

and your tags about men writing relationships between women are on point too but im also like. why would they be good at that you know? like i think it's fine if men cant write relationships between women super well, just let women write! asdhkfjh just get a woman to write! (im still of the opinion that not having a female showrunner for the first female doctor was a big missed opportunity. like im very happy with what chibnall has done but that choice just doesnt make sense to me at all)

On the one hand YES YES YES RACHEL TALALAY SHOULDA BEEN SHOWRUNNER ARGH or at least more female writers to write/edit this.

But on the other hand I don't wanna let Chibs off the hook for using Jack and Dan (and even Ryan) to tell Thirteen and Yaz how they feel and act as catalysts for their relationship arc.

I started writing this about 6am and it somehow turned into one of my LONG POST IS LONG essays with lots of thinky thoughts, so... SPOILERS to Eve of the Daleks, and...

See, female writers write male characters broships and relationships all the time, and we don't think twice about it. Aside from fanfic, if you look at any genre, from mystery to SF, there's some pretty notable guy-guy friendships and teams written by female authors from Bunter and Peter Wimsey in Dorothy Sayers to Kirk, Spock and McCoy in ten jillion official Star Trek novels including (especially!) those penned by @dduane .

It's like how little girls grow up learning to identify with and empathize with male protagonists from Christopher Robin and Frodo to Luke Skywalker and Captain America, but there's still a lot of people — even folks we like such as Peter Davison — who don't realize the limitation they place on boys or the ramifications it has for society down the road by saying they need male role models because (obviously) they can't identify with a female protagonist such as the Thirteenth Doctor.

I dunno. I didn't watch the Marvel movies (gasp), but was there a female character stepping in all the time to moderate the relationship and facilitate communications between Steve and Bucky? Seems like that wouldn't be necessary to play out that kind of drama.

I'm happy that Yaz's crush on the Doctor isn't subtext and is being written as Just A Thing That Happens, never mind they're both women, she's had a crush for a long time, obviously, and the Doctor's very fond of her but It's Complicated (tm), and that's good drama. I really did cry when Yaz cried and said "what am I gonna do, Dan?" because bloody hell, we've been there, and okay it's even more of a mess because the Doctor is an alien who is hiding even her NAME, but that particular cry of distress parallels the experience of a queer person (a) realizing they're queer and (b) not wanting to destroy a great friendship when you don't know whether your friend would be freaked out by finding out their same-sex BFF has a crush on them. Because there's no going back when you say it, and that is always a danger.

THAT is real, and I commend Chibs for writing that bit of gay angst 500% spot on.

And I love the character of Dan. I can see why everyone was excited about John Bishop. I wish it had been a different season he came aboard, not during the only season we'll probably EVER get that had the the opportunity to explore a friendship/BFFship/somethingship between two women (why is that so, so, SO RARE in media, rarer than a transit of Venus in SF?) but given that Chibs is a limited writer who wants to be more inclusive but seems most comfortable writing female protagonists who are as repressed and uncommunicative and antisocial as a lot of male nerds 😉 Dan may have been the best way to get over the writer's block he seemed to be having in getting Yaz and the Doc to (gasp) actually COMMUNICATE. Except they still haven't. But there's at least some overtures on the Doctor's part, so maybe she'll say a few things five seconds before regenerating.

I'm okay with an f/f ship in canon that's doomed and doesn't play out. That happens with the m/f ships with the Doctor as well: it's a side effect of the Doctor hanging out with a species with such a short lifespan and different life experiences who can only see a few facets of them. As long as it plays out in a way that's true to character, and so far, it has. I hope the Doctor and Yaz will finally, FINALLY talk. And I hope Chibs can find a way to let Yaz get out of this ALIVE having become the person she wants to be, instead of having her whole life ruined by or changed in tragic ways by the Doctor, which seems to be the default companion exit of new who. That's one thing I liked about classic Who, that companions found themselves by traveling with the Doctor and made a better life with what they'd learned through their adventures, rather than becoming sucked into the Doctor's orbit like a planet getting too close to its star and getting burned/damaged/torn apart/violently flung away. Chibs gave Ryan and Graham a classic Who ending, and signs point to him intending to do the same for Yaz, so I have hope.

Which just leaves us with a big juicy question mark of bittersweet angst over how much more Thasmin we'll get before the end of all this. Because it's not the ONLY thing we want out of Jodie's last two eps, despite the fact we've been waiting for it so long. We want Thirteen (and Yaz!) to be heroic and wonderful characters and have a few more good times and great adventures before the end. This is just an added layer that's gonna make Jodie's departure hit us even harder than it would've already, despite her Doctor really being A Bit of an Asshole sometimes behind all the fun and and curiosity and mad delight and courage and feral daft Doctor-ishness.

... All of which is just my own biased opinion, obviously.

[twh-news]

How Loki Shapeshifted From Nordic Folklore to a Marvel Icon

by Sara Durn

There are more than 800 years between the stories of Viking god Loki first being written down and his arrival (in the superb Tom Hiddleston) in the Marvel cinematic universe in 2011’s Thor. The new Disney+ series Loki, set to be released on June 9, is primed to explore more antics of Thor’s trickster brother as he attempts to fix the timeline he helped break in Avengers: Endgame. Among his many talents, Loki has cheated death a few times in the MCU, but that amounts to child’s play for this god.

In Norse mythology, Loki causes just as much confusion as his Marvel iteration. Though there aren’t any stories of him outwitting death, there are plenty of myths where he shapeshifts, swaps genders, or tricks gods into killing other gods. In the Marvel universe, he’s quite prone to allegiance swapping. Let’s dig into this troublemaker’s journey.

What is Loki’s origin?

The legends surrounding the Norse god are first documented in writing around the 13th century, primarily in Iceland. There are two versions of these legends that enter the historical record around the same time—the Poetic Edda and the Prose Edda. The Poetic Edda is an anonymous collection of Old Norse poems that are mainly pulled from an Icelandic medieval manuscript known as the Codex Regius (some of the poems date back to 800 CE). The Prose Edda is an Old Norse textbook for composing poetry that was written by a single author, Snorri Sturluson, a colorful Icelandic historian, scholar, and lawspeaker.

“Within the myths, you can see Loki moving from being just mischievous to being absolutely evil. If you think of him as only being mischievous, he’s actually a creative force and often ends up getting the gods much of their magical possessions, like Thor’s Hammer, through his cunning.”

“Pretty much everything we know about Loki came from Snorri Sturluson,” Viking scholar Nancy Marie Brown, author of Song of the Vikings: Snorri and the Making of Norse Myths, told io9. Brown says this was very appropriate given that “Snorri was quite a trickster figure himself.” While calling him the “Homer of the North,” Brown also acknowledges that Snorri spent a lifetime “double-crossing friends and family… scheming and plotting, blustering and fleeing”— a life that eventually led to his unheroic demise in a nightshirt where his (supposed) final words were “don’t strike!” In both Eddas, Loki is always portrayed as a cunning trickster. In the Prose Edda, Snorri describes Loki as “pleasing and handsome in appearance, evil in character, very capricious in behavior. He possessed to a greater degree than other [gods] the kind of learning that is called cunning.”

Besides appearances, Loki is always getting the gods into trouble and then cleverly extricating them from the mess he’s made. He fathers the Midgard Serpent destined to bring about Ragnarök, the end of the world in Norse mythology. He convinces the blind god Hodr to kill the beautiful and favored god Baldur. He kidnaps the goddess Idun to save his own hide from a furious giant. The mythological character is constantly switching sides—sometimes supporting the gods and sometimes their enemies, the giants. In the MCU, Loki is both hero and villain—in The Avengers he opened a wormhole in New York City releasing alien monsters and in Thor: Ragnarok he helped Thor save the Asgardians from Hela’s wrath.

Thorwald’s Cross, a fragmented runestone depicting Odin being consumed. Image: Public Domain

Loki might have begun as a Norse god of fire—fitting considering how fire can be both “helpful and destructive,” said Brown. Fire can both burn down your house and cook you dinner. It’s tricky that way—like Loki. As Brown puts it, “You can see his two sides there [reflected in fire].” Brown also explains that there was likely a transformation in Loki over the centuries. “Within the myths, you can see Loki moving from being just mischievous to being absolutely evil. If you think of him as only being mischievous, he’s actually a creative force and often ends up getting the gods much of their magical possessions, like Thor’s Hammer, through his cunning.” Again, it’s just like Marvel’s Loki, who sometimes helps the other gods out, like when he teamed up with Thor to escape the Grandmaster in Thor: Ragnarok.

What is Loki’s relationship with the Devil?

In the long, slow conversion of the Vikings to Christianity that took place between the 9th and 12th centuries, Loki became a parallel to the Christian Devil. The creative, positive elements of him fell away leaving only the god favored by the Father (Odin/God) before getting cast out. (It does sound a bit like Lucifer, right?) Christianity paints a world that is far more black and white, good vs. evil than the Norse pagan religion—here’s little room for a grey, ambiguous figure like Loki. As Brown puts it, “The Christian religion insists that you’re either with us or against us. Whereas in what we understand of the pagan Viking religion, there were a lot of shades of grey. There was a spectrum on which you could move back and forth. You weren’t all one thing or all the other. You weren’t all female or all male. You weren’t all good or all evil. It was more human.”

Loki always moved fluidly between those two polarities—helping Thor in one story, causing an overthrow of the gods in another. In one tale, Loki shapeshifts into a mare, becoming the mother of Odin’s great 8-legged horse, Sleipnir. In another, he fathers the wolf Fenrir. The Church couldn’t really handle all that grey area Loki liked to inhabit, and so it eventually cast him as the devil himself. “[Monks] had to sort the gods into saints and devils, and Loki by being sexually ambiguous and also morally ambiguous falls into the devil [category],” explained Brown. Though Marvel’s Loki certainly channels a bit of the devil at times, we’ve luckily yet to see him become both mother and father to world-ending, multi-legged monsters in the Marvel Universe. But, there’s still time, especially with the new Disney+ series hitting the small screen.

When was Loki’s Revival?

After the Viking conversion, the Norse myths started to fade, and Loki with them—until the 1600s, when medieval manuscripts like those containing the Prose and Poetic Edda began to be translated. “The reason [these myths] became popular was because of nationalism,” Brown told us. “In the mid to late 1800s, there was the idea that what distinguished one nation from another was its cultural heritage.” This spurred Jacob Ludwig Karl Grimm and Wilhelm Carl Grimm—known to many simply as the Brothers Grimm—to go “collect the stories of the local people to prove that Germany was a nation, not a collection of states. You had the same thing happening in Ireland to prove that they were different from the English and you have the same thing happening in Iceland, Norway, Sweden, and Denmark.” This eventually gave rise to the Nazis appropriating Norse myths in their twisted pursuit of alleging Aryan supremacy.

Following the Civil War, the United States also looked to the Middle Ages to redefine the country’s fractured identity. As Chris Bishop, author of Medievalist Comics and the American Century, explained to io9, “[the Middle Ages] offered an aesthetic that was individualistic (think: the knight errant, Robin Hood, etc.), given to interpretations of exceptionalism (Camelot, the once and future king), venerable (where old equalled established and respectable), and (unlike Classicism) Christian.” The Middle Ages, or more accurately the remixing of the Middle Ages known in academia as “medievalisms,” appealed to many Americans obsessed with ideas of American exceptionalism and singularity in the 19th century. Eventually the U.S.’s obsession with the Middle Ages made its way into comic books starting with Prince Valiant in 1937, a comic strip created by Hal Foster set in and around the legends of King Arthur. Other medievalist comics followed eventually leading to the inclusion of Norse gods like Loki, Thor, and Odin.

First appearance of Loki in the 1949 Venus comics. Image: Wikicommons

When was Marvel Comics’ Loki introduced?

While Loki first appeared in the 1949 comic book Venus styled after (you guessed it) the devil, the modern-age Loki didn’t hit the comic book scene until co-writers and brothers Stan Lee and Larry Lieber adapted him in 1962’s Journey into Mystery #85. It’s in that issue where Loki “becomes Thor’s enemy/ally/brother/adopted brother/etc,” said Bishop. The mischievous personality of the Norse god remains largely the same in the Loki of the comic books and films and even retains the ability to swap genders at times.

In the comics, Loki is raised as Thor’s brother in Asgard—somewhere the Marvel stories diverge from the Norse mythology. It’s Loki and Odin who are sworn brothers in the Norse myths, not Loki and Thor. As Brown explains, “Loki and Odin are blood brothers, which means they are even closer than real brothers.” In the Viking world, two people who swore a blood oath to one another formed a bond that went beyond kin, and so went the Norse Loki and Odin’s relationship. As Bishop points out, the Loki/Thor dynamic of the comics and movies is a “classic, formulaic archetype.” Thor is the “big, hunky, handsome (but slightly dumb) hero” and Loki is “his slight, quirky but super-smart frenemy. Loki is the dark, misunderstood, vulnerable shadow that audiences can relate to, reach out to, care for. Thor is that dumb jock who everyone looked up to at school, but Loki was that cool, quiet kid who went on to found a tech-empire.”

Why is Loki called a Trickster?

What does remain consistent with Loki is that he always plays the trickster. He is the manifestation of psychologist Carl Jung’s archetype: The trickster disrupts the individual and/or society causing either growth or destruction. Social scientist Helena Bassil-Morozow points out that when it comes to Loki, “despite the fact that the narrative details between the medieval Loki stories and their contemporary versions vary, the main idea remains the same—the trickster mercilessly attacks those in power and nearly causes the end of the world.” Both in the Norse myths and in Marvel, the world needs saving from Loki. He acts as the catalyst for a whole lot of upheaval—upheaval that in the Norse myths causes Ragnarök.

Loki “functions as a locus of salvation (literally, a prodigal son).” Loki just might be a savior. He’s someone audiences can look at and think “if Loki can be redeemed, so too might I.”

Perhaps that’s where the two narratives differ the most. In the Norse tales, the end of the world at Ragnarök is inevitable. Odin and Thor will die. Everything will change. Vikings lived with the knowledge that their world would end. In the MCU, we don’t know how the story ends, plus Ragnarök took place already and yet the Asgardians live on. There’s still hope that Loki will prove to be good and that the other superheroes will save the world from whatever mayhem he’s caused, or so we can hope in the upcoming Disney+ series. As Bishop puts it, Loki “functions as a locus of salvation (literally, a prodigal son).” Loki just might be a savior. He’s someone audiences can look at and think “if Loki can be redeemed, so too might I,” explains Bishop.

While the Vikings’ Loki caused the end of the world, today’s Loki might just save it. Or maybe not. And, perhaps that’s the fun of the trickster—you never quite know what they’ll get up to.

[padfootagain]

I recently watched the Netflix feature film Love in the Villa (2022). Protagonist Julie sets off on a trip to Italy for two weeks after her ex-boyfriend, who broke up with her just before the trip, and finds that her villa she booked was double-booked and currently occupied by an arrogant man by the name of Charlie. Charlie has come to Italy for work and Julie is a teacher on vacation. The two start out on bad terms, but begin to learn more about each other. Soon, they are discovering feelings for each other. However, after kissing at a party, Julie returns to the villa to find Charlie's girlfriend has come to surprise him. The next day or so, Julie's ex-boyfriend, Brandon, shows up claiming he made a mistake. Though Charlie and Julie decided to break off all connection when Julie learned about his girlfriend, both yearned for each other despite being with their respective partners. At the end of the film, Charlie breaks up with his girlfriend and runs to find Julie, only to see her ex proposing to her. He assumes he has lost his chance and walks away, but Julie realizes she doesn't love Brandon. Charlie finds out and runs to the villa they were staying at, where he confesses his true feelings he had been holding back the whole time and they lived happily ever after.

You may be wondering why I have elected to outline the plot of this seemingly random film for you. You may be wondering if there is a purpose to this ask. Indeed there is. I have reason to believe Mark Steven Johnson, who is known for his work as a writer on Christopher Robin (2018) and who directed and wrote this film, is a reader of your iconic Logan Delos fanfic A Chalet and a Storm (2017). As I am sure you recall, the reader in this story is an engaged teacher. She has travelled to a chalet, only to find it has been double booked and she must share with an arrogant man... These are not the only connections I have found between your work and this film. Like Charlie, Logan has also travelled for his job at a major company. Both male characters also have a conflict with their job obligations and their love interest. Additionally, both of the female characters are won back by the male love interest making a big gesture. I understand this last example is common in most films of this variety, but it is still worth noting.

In summary, the connections I have found after quickly re-reading your incredible story and suffering through Netflix's train wreck of a movie, are as follows: both female main characters are teachers who have or had a fiancé. They both find a man in the residence they have rented for 2 weeks. They both discover that the place has been double booked and for some reason they cannot find a new place to stay, thus are forced to share. The male character is reserved emotionally and works for a big company which has brought him to this location. Finally a different love interest brings the two main couples apart, the female realizes she is not in love with her original partner, and a grand gesture brings the two main characters together.

The first thing I thought when the premise of this movie was made clear was that I had read a significantly better fanfiction about this exact situation. I say we send this to Netflix and see what they have to say for themselves. If they are going to use the premise of one of the greatest fanfics that I have ever read (4 years later and I think about it regularly) they might as well use the whole thing because perhaps the movie might have done better. In 6 chapters, you elegantly told a touching story of two people meeting under unlikely and adverse circumstances and how significant connection can be even when given a choice between risk and stability, and in 1 hour and 54 minutes, Netflix came up with pranking someone into thinking they ate horse meat, plot device girlfriends, and chemistry and love about as believable as my (made up) European boyfriend. This movie will fade from my lexicon in a few months, but the impact A Chalet and a Storm had on me will have me returning to the series any time I need to be reminded that there is still hope for quality content to be made, or I simply want to read a damn good story.

@fvckoffbard I have seen that movie as well!!! And I agree that it could have been much better (especially because the pranks were way too mean, and didn't make for a believable love story even in my very low standards when it comes to cute romantic comedies... it is saying a lot).

I have to admit that I didn't think about my story at all (but then it has been several years since I have read it again) when I watched the film but all the points you are pointing out are weird coincidences to the point where maybe the writer did read my work at this point (are you lurking on tumblr, Mark?)

More seriously, despite these insettling common points, I didn't use the less cliché tropes for this one! So I guess we just both had good ideas.

But then, coming to the most important points : first, thank you for your dedication in watching this film to point out the similarities, you warrior!!!

Second, I am extremely touched and happy you still enjoy my fic after so much time and still care about it, it means the world.

Third, you should not be allowed to bring me close to tears with all your kind words about my work when I am about to go to bed but you are very sweet so I forgive you 💕💕

Thank you thank you thank you I'm so happy you still find meaning and enjoyment and even quality in my work 💕💕

I have to admit the past couple of years have been rough for me for personal reasons, and I struggle to write these days, which is why I haven't really posted anything in a long while. But I still want to come back and be more active in our wonderful fanfic community like I used to, and this kind of comments give me a lot of strength to allow myself to think I can write again as much and as easily as I used.

Thank you so much 💕💕💕

[dumbkiri]

Buried Secrets Three

Parts: [1, 2, Here]

Summary: [Name] remembers a Wednesday night. Then she gets pulled back into reality where she meets the new Robin. Deathstroke ends up hurting Dick Grayson in more ways than one. [Name], even when injured, jumps after Jason. Now she’s going to fix his broken mind. 

Pairing: Dick Grayson x Female! Reader, Jason Todd x Motherly! Reader

Genre: Slight Angst, Boring Action

Word Count: 5.1k, 14 pages //wow never writing that much again...my fingers hurt

Warning: Mentions of suicide

It was a Wednesday night. [Name] was wearing a black dress that hugged her curves and heels that made her two inches taller. Her makeup was done with a natural look to it, but more highlight. Her body was covered in a light sweat with bodies barely touching her own limbs. She danced to the music that vibrated through her chest with a rhythm she could barely follow. She needed a night of no fighting crime all on her own and let herself have fun for once. 

“Ride it, just lose control…” 

[Name] felt a group of people come near her and they proudly danced with her. There were slight touches near her back, her legs and arms. She didn’t mind the company. She felt a lonely either way. 

“Ride it, ride it, baby let me feel you…” 

The song was very hip swaying and arms waving to the beat of the song. She didn’t care who was around her or touching her body. She wanted to forget the evening she was supposed to spend time with her boyfriend. [Name] was only left with a message. 

Hey, I can’t come tonight, but I’ll make it up to you. I heard that you had to tell me something important. I’ll see you later at the apartment. 

[Name] felt a stranger’s arm wrap around her abdomen and pull her to their body. She followed the pull and began dancing against the stranger’s front. She could tell it was a male and he was very fit. His hands were on her waist and his fingers were gripping her with a firm, protective grasp. He was making sure no one took her away from him. 

[Name] wished Dick acted this way with her. Although lately, he had been distant with her. As much as she wants to forget him tonight, she couldn’t help wonder about what he was doing. 

“What’s a beautiful lady like you doing alone?” The man dancing with her asked. His voice was deep and she could tell the man was older. Older than her and Dick. Yet [Name] didn’t mind the age gap. Older men had experience. 

[Name] leaned her head against his chest and looked up at him. Her [e.color] eyes locked with brown ones. They were devoid of any emotion, but the smile on his face tried to prove otherwise. She knew this man. And he knew her. But in this moment, they didn’t care for their identities. They wanted something from each other. 

“Are you here to kill me?” [Name] asked setting her hands on top of Slade’s gently. 

Slade scoffed and leaned his head down to hers, “If I wanted to kill you, it would have happened earlier.” He removed his hands and intertwined his fingers with her own. It was a small gesture of reassurance. 

“Been through some bad shit, I should be a sad bitch…”

[Name] brought their intertwined hands toward her chest making Slade hug her body close to his. She swayed to the new song that came on. She recognized it, 7 Rings by Ariana Grande. 

“Who woulda thought it'd turn me to a savage…”

She looked up at him and shrugged her shoulders, “All men go back on their words.” She let go of his hands and pushed herself away from him. Fraternizing with the enemy was disgusting, she should be thinking. But looking back at the man she left at the dance floor made her heart race. [Name] pushed passed the people who blocked her way as she wanted to go to the bar. 

“I want it, I got it…”

[Name] walked up to the bar and called over the bartender. She ordered her drink and stood waiting for the glasses. “You have experience with guys going back on their word, but not men. That's different,” Slade appeared by her left side with his arms on the bar. He was smooth and persistent. She had to give him that. 

“Three shots of Tequila Rose,” The bartender slid the shot glasses off to [Name] and she gave him a nod of thanks. 

Slade chuckled, “Really?” He was judging her choice of alcohol.  

“Hey, I have to argue with a little birdie tomorrow and if he finds me passed out in my apartment, he’s going to flip.” She downed the first shot easily. “If he finds out I spent a night with his, no, our enemy, let’s just say our relationship would be rocky.” 

Slade furrowed his eyebrows, “I thought you were drinking for some other reason.”

[Name] took her second shot glass in her hand, “Is there another reason beside him cancelling another important date again?” 

Slade stayed quiet and watched her down the second. Then the third. He took a seat next to her and ordered his own drink. He silently watched the woman next to him ask for a glass of water, but he stopped the bartender. “Actually get her the same drink I’m having.” 

[Name] sighed and turned her body to Slade, “What do you want, Slade? Information on the Titans because I can’t give you anything. I plan on quitting the team, so-”

“I wanted to check on you,” Slade admitted with his eyes directed to the bottles of alcohol displayed behind the bar. 

“I want it. I got it…”

“Why would you check on me? As you can see, I’m perfectly fine. Lonely, yes. Although I know the consequences of dating a guy who can’t stop crime fighting.” [Name] leaned closer to Slade and she pressed her index finger on his chest. “Seriously, are you here to kill me?” 

“No,” Slade said firmly and gripped her hand tightly in his. His brown eyes locked with her [e.color] ones. He pulled her closer to his body and whispered in her ear. “Grayson is cheating on you with Dawn, your old teammate.” 

“Wearing a ring, but ain’t gon’ be…”

“W-what?” [Name] asked with a racing heart. She had stumbled backwards, but Slade caught her quickly. This time he wasn’t letting her go. He had her in his arms. He watched her eyes get watery as fresh tears began to fall down her face. “You’re lying,” [Name] concluded and tried to push against him, but he was strong. 

“No,” He started not minding the weak punches he was receiving from her, “I have proof, check my jacket pocket.” 

“What do you mean? I’m sorry by the way…”

[Name] sniffled and wiped her eyes. Her shaky hand found itself in his jacket pocket and she felt photos between her fingertips. She stopped herself and leaned her head onto Slade’s shoulder. [Name] wasn’t prepared for this.

“Never coming back down, can’t you see…”

“Look at them,” Slade instructed her and rested his hands on her hips. “You have to.”

[Name] pulled the photos out and picked up her head. Slade had proof of Dick’s infidelity. Dawn was happily in his arms, their legs intertwined like vines on a wall. A coat of sweat on their heated bodies. Blanket hiding the position they were in. Dawn had her eyes closed in ecstasy and [Name]’s own boyfriend was the cause of it. 

“I could, but wouldn’t stay…”

[Name] threw the photos at Slade and ripped his hands off her hips. She stormed away from the bar and made her way out of the club. She took her phone out of her purse and dialed Dick’s number. When the cold air of September brushed past her, shivers were sent down her spine. She pressed the call button and put her phone against her ear. He picked up on the fifth ring. 

“Hey, [Name]?”

“Where are you?” She asked quickly and began taking her heels off. Her feet started to ache. 

Dick paused before he came up with an answer, “At Titan’s base, is everything okay?” 

“You liar,” She spat and paced in front of the club where people began giving her weird looks because her eyes were slowly glowing red. Her hands held onto her heels and red swirls surrounded her clenched fist. “Send me your location.” 

“[Name], I’m at the base,” Dick clarified with a strong tone. He was getting annoyed, she could tell. 

“I can’t believe you would do this to me,” She began crying again. “I’ve sacrificed everything for you. I gave you everything and you repay me by-” Her phone was taken from her hand and the culprit was the one who told her about the secret. 

Slade pressed the end call button and he put her phone in his pocket, “I think it’s time for you to go home." 

"Go home? There's no place for me to go. Dick has keys to my apartment and a tracker in my phone. He probably already knows where I'm at." [Name] concluded and plopped herself down on the edge of the sidewalk. Her face buried in her hands. Her body shivering from the cold and her tears didn't warm her up. Her heart began to close up until she felt a hand on her bare shoulder. 

"I have a place you can go," Slade's voice sounded genuine and [Name] knew that he could be lying. Lead her into a trap when she was vulnerable. She was the strongest Titan, Slade knew that. Was he only being so nice to her because he wanted to use her power. 

[Name] wiped at her teary eye, “Just because you showed my boyfriend’s infidelity to me doesn’t mean I’ll switch up and fight the Titans. I’m not that weak minded.” 

Slade chuckled and sat by her. He examined the photos like he did so many times and ripped them apart. [Name] bit her lip and watched him silently as he ripped all the photos into tiny pieces. “I’m not making you fight your team. It was an idea I considered, but your power is meant for so much more.” 

“You want to use me?” She questioned glaring at him and the torn up pieces. It was like she was staring at her own heart. All [Name] wanted was for Dick to love her the same way she did him. To hold her like he held Dawn. It wasn’t too much to ask for. 

“You can read into my mind, how about you tell me what I want,” Slade leaned closer to her. 

[Name]’s eyes glowed red and she found out his intentions. She wasn’t thinking what he was. But now that the idea was planted in her head, she thought about it more. “Okay, okay, you can stop thinking about those things now.” [Name] looked away with a slight blush on her cheeks. 

She let her head rest on her shaking knees, “I know he has cheated on me, but I can’t do the same thing. Dick-”

“Don’t say his name,” Slade whispered and grabbed her chin making her look at him. “I can make you forget about him, just let me in.” 

“Okay,” [Name] breathlessly said. 

……

“You tried to control his mind,” Slade dropped his gun on the wooden table with a huff. He plopped onto the seat in front of [Name] and examined her sad state. He crossed his arms and gave her a look of distrust, “You ended up killing a man because of your actions.”

[Name] snorted, “I just showed him his fear and he acted on it. He was going to fight the Titans because you were a coward not to.” Her tears were dried up and the only evidence that she was crying was the tracks on her face. 

Then Slade got off the chair and walked behind her. She couldn't see what he was doing, but she heard a body dragging on the floor. Although dead people don't groan in pain. A chair was thrown next to her and Slade dropped the person he was dragging onto it. 

[Name]'s eyes widen. This teenager was wearing a Robin costume. Bruce got a second Robin, did Dick know about this?

"I found a flightless bird alone. Let’s just say he left his nest too early." Slade commented and began tying the Robin up allowing no escape for him. The rope would have been rubbing the skin raw, but because Robin wore gloves his wrists were protected. Unlike hers. 

As the seconds went by, [Name] grew worried about the boy. He was really beaten up by Slade which meant he put up quite a fight. His face was decorated with bruises just like hers. 

 Slade finished and walked off, but not without making sure his captives were knocked out for good. 

……

“Kori, watch out!” 

“Don’t worry about me! Go get Jason!”

[Name] shivered when her ears tried processing the voices that spoke. She blinked her eyes open and saw three silhouettes fighting each other. It was a blur until her eyes finally focused in the darkness. She saw her enemy fight off what [Name] knew as the Titans. Or at least two members. She was in the corner of the room with nothing bounding her and she had a choice to make. 

Leave the Titans and get John or fight with the Titans and face them later on. 

[Name] pushed herself off the floor and dusted her clothes off. She saw a woman get blown backwards from one of Deathstroke’s gadgets and it rendered her immobile. Deathstroke saw this as an opportunity to kill her, yet he didn’t deliver the last blow because Dick was there to stop him. The move caught Deathstroke off guard which [Name] believed it was her time to step in. To help Dick like she did long ago. 

Although the woman from earlier woke up just in time to fire at him with her own ability. Then a green light caught everyone's attention only for it to go off and a piercing sound rang in their ears. Their eyes shut tightly because of the blinding light. [Name] uncovered her ears and opened her eyes to see Deathstroke already standing. He had the detonator in his hand. 

Then he pressed it without so much of a thought. Dick was the first to react on instinct and he ran to see if Robin truly did fall. 

[Name] looked passed Deathstroke and saw the fear in the teen’s eyes as he began tilting backwards. She didn’t even notice him in danger. Her mind was wrapped up in- 

“You care too much, Grayson,” Deathstroke said loud enough for Dick to hear and right in [Name]’s ear. She stayed still not processing why her body couldn’t move from its spot. Her feet were rooted to the ground. Her hands subconsciously went to her abdomen where she felt a sticky substance. Then her mouth opened up choking on her own blood. 

Deathstroke slid his sword out from [Name]’s wound and he pushed her forward to which she stumbled. “No!” Dick yelled still holding onto Robin’s gloved hand. [Name] looked at her wound then to Dick. It looked like he was crying, but the only time she saw him cry was out of happiness when John was born. 

“John,” She whispered her son’s name even when she was bleeding out. 

Then she saw Robin’s hand slipped from Dick’s. He was falling to his death. But [Name] wasn’t going to let him die. Instead she stumbled her way to the broken window and jumped out. She could have sworn she felt Dick’s fingers graze her leg. 

[Name]’s eyes glowed red and she reached out to Robin with whatever determination she had left. She felt his gloved hand hold her bloody one and she wrapped him tightly in an embrace. “I won’t let you go,” Her whisper was gone with the rushing wind and [Name] had slowened their descent to the ground using her last strength. 

Her back touched the cement softly and Robin was curled up on her side. He held her tightly which was painful for [Name], but she hugged him back. She knew he was scared beyond belief. He had a chance of dying. 

“[Name]! Jason!” Dick yelled from the building. 

That was all [Name] heard before she fell asleep. The last thing she saw was the Superman logo. 

……

Dick watched John cry for the tenth time and he was completely tensed. All John did was cry about [Name] and it made his heart ache. After all, Dick was the one to cause her so much pain. 

“You guys have a very cute baby, but he’s very loud,” Donna tried to lighten up the mood by visiting Dick in the kitchen. Her brown eyes landed on John who was sulking in the corner lightly punching the walls with his tiny fists. “I can see he also inherited your anger-” 

Dick glared at her.

“Issues. But have you at least let the kid see his mom?” Donna walked over to the fridge and took a drink out.

“So he can see what I did to his mom?” Dick questioned with a sharp tone. He wasn’t going to let John see the bruises or cuts on [Name]. He was going to protect the image John had of his mother. 

Donna shrugged her shoulders, “Maybe she’ll wake up if he visits her?” She said it as a joke, but John’s head perked up at the mention of his mother. He wobbled over to Donna and pulled at her jeans. He gave her a smile, “See Mama.” 

“No.” Dick snapped and put his face into his hands. 

His mean reply only made John cry more. The little boy fell onto his butt and cried crocodile tears. “Mama! Mama! Mama!” John cried over and over. Snot and tears running down his red face. Donna gave Dick the “he’s your son, fix the problem” look to which he sighed. 

“Awe is John feeling down?” Dawn came into the kitchen and swept John into her arms. John continued crying as Dawn cleaned his nose with a tissue. Dick watched Dawn seeing how the two of them looked slightly compatible. She didn’t mind John crying or sneezing on her. Dick thought Dawn would have made a great mother. 

“Please put my son down,” A voice interrupted Dick’s thoughts and he turned around in his chair to see [Name]. She looked fine, well better than fine actually. Her face was healed up and she stood with her back straight. Her eyes were unwavering and only directed to Dawn. 

“[Name], you’re awake,” Dawn said with a strained smile noticing the hostility she was receiving. 

[Name]’s neutral look turned into a glare, “My son, you can let go of him now.” 

Dawn set John gently onto the floor and the boy ran over to his mom with wide arms. He embraced her legs and babbled for a bit then looked up at her. She smiled down at him and picked him up. [Name] let her forehead touch John’s gently and she looked into his happiest memories. She saw herself and John at home playing with his favorite toys. The stuffed lion sitting next to him proudly.

Then she remembered something. She pecked John on the cheek and looked at the old Titans, “I need to see Robin.”

Dick gave her a questioning gaze, “Is everything okay?”

“Can you lead me to him? Maybe we can find out together.” [Name] suggested and gestured for him to show her the way. 

……

“I need time alone with him, Dick. I can feel his mind. It’s all twisted and I can feel him falling.” [Name] stood outside the door holding herself with shaky arms. 

Dick was holding onto a quiet John, “Alright, just let me know if you need some help. He’ll listen to me.” 

“Like I believe you,” [Name] smiled sadly and walked into Jason’s room closing the door after her. And looking at Jason. It was worse than she thought.

Falling. He was stuck in an endless fall. Jason Todd was losing himself. He was reliving the night he fell. It was just him falling and he continued to do so. 

“Jason!”

He wasn’t going to stop falling. When was he going to stop falling!

[Name] sadly observed Jason’s still form. His back was facing her and he was looking out the window. [Name] knew better, he wasn’t staring at the beautiful view offered to him. He only saw himself falling. His eyes went up and down looking at the building he fell from. [Name] stepped up and knew what she had to do. Her hand reached out for his. Her fingers dancing on his palm and red swirls danced with her digits. Her eyes glowed red and she made herself appeared in his fall. 

Someone save me! Stop me from falling!

“I won’t let-.” 

“How fucked up are you!” Rachel came storming into Jason’s room ruining the connection [Name] was trying to make with the suffering boy. Rachel ran up to him with her voice cracking, “All you do is give people reasons to hate you.” 

Jason numbly replied with his eyes still on the window, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

[Name] looked into his mind. Jason never stopped falling. 

Rachel continued, “The crosses on my mirror.” It was like she was trying to refresh Jason’s mind. Tell him what he did wrong.

Jason removed his eyes from the window and gave his attention to Rachel, “I still don’t know what the fuck you’re talking-”

“Don’t fucking lie to me!” Rachel yelled as her eyes glowed red and her voice got deeper; demonic. 

[Name]’s arms spread out and she stepped in front of Jason. Red like solar flares spread above her body like a phoenix. “Cut it out!” The older female yelled and Rachel immediately backed down. Jason didn’t notice the kind act [Name] did in trying to protect him. Instead with his voice cracking, he declared, “I’m sick of this shit.” 

Jason ran out of the room and [Name] followed after him. She needed to tend to his broken mind. She needed to get him away from the toxic titans. The negative feedback and accusation he received was doing him no good. 

“Fuck!” Rachel yelled out and ran after Jason, “Don’t fucking walk away from me!”

“Whoa! Hey, what’s happening here?” Dawn, being the nice one, asked concerned with Kory and Hank also interested. 

Rachel stopped following Jason and looked at the adults, “Jason drew crucifixes all over my mirror.” 

“Bullshit,” Jason said obviously pissed that he was being blamed for something he didn’t do.

 “Jason, it’s okay if you’re angry,” Dawn sided with Rachel and gave Jason a look [Name] was all too familiar with. It was a look [Name] would give John when he did something bad like draw on the walls. Dawn was treating Jason like a baby. In reality, he needed to be cared for and trusted like a colleague; a team member. 

“I didn’t do shit, okay? Jason’s voice kept cracking, “Don’t blame me for her voodoo issues.” 

[Name] cringed. Wrong thing to say at this moment, but he was in the right. 

Donna jumped in, walking from behind Jason, “What’s all the drama about?”

“Somebody drew crosses on Rachel’s mirror and she thinks Jason did it,” Dawn filled Donna on the latest gossip. [Name] had to step in soon, but she didn’t want to alter reality. When she does, she loses a bit of her sanity each time. 

“I know he did it, “ Rachel cried with a hint of anger in her trembling voice. 

“Cute idea with the bourbon bottle. Not my type though. I’m more of a sour mash guy,” Hank stepped in with a territorial stance, “You ever go in my room and pull that shit again, I’ll forget what team you’re on.” 

Jason looked at Hank with confusion. ‘Why? Why is this happening to me?’

[Name] could see his mind and she saw him falling deeper into the abyss his own teammates were making for him. “Stop this,” [Name] whispered feeling her heart ache for the sad teen. 

Donna stared accusingly at the male, “Why, Jason?” 

“I don’t know what happened guys, but I didn’t do it.” Jason said defeated. 

“What about the picture of Ellis,” Dawn questioned.

“The orange soda bottle.” Donna glared at him.

“He did it to you guys too?” Rachel asked relieved knowing that she wasn’t the only one who he was pulling pranks on. 

“I said stop this!” [Name] roared and the Phoenix appeared above her again protecting Jason from their false accusations. They all quieted down and backed away from the protective woman. “Jason didn’t do anything of what you guys are accusing him of. He’s broken right now and if you had half the mind,  which I now know you don’t, you would have noticed the trauma he’s suffered!” 

“I can’t believe this,” Jason stared at his once teammates, “but you’re all insane. I rather be with Deathstroke than with you assholes.” 

Ding! 

The elevator opened up and Dick walked in holding John with his left arm and his right holding a gun. [Name] scoffed, “Seriously, you’re holding a gun and John next to each other. Dick that’s not safe, go read a book on parenting,” [Name] scolded and went to take John away from him, but he pulled back. 

“He’s here,” Dick said out of breath. 

“Who?” Hank asked still heated about Jason. 

“Deathstroke, here, in the tower.” Dick explained further, “He took pictures of all of us.” His brown eyes scanned [Name]’s frightened form. He remembered seeing a photo of himself laying his head at her bedside when she was healing. 

“Dick, talk to me,” Hank tried to reach out to the former Robin, “what’s with the gun?” 

Dick stared into space, “Jason.” Then he ran out to find the said teen. [Name] followed after him, “Dick, be careful, you still have John in your arms.” 

……

“Jason!” Dick called out to the teen shifting John into a more comfortable position. 

“I keep falling,” Jason informed his leader. 

Dick looked at [Name], “I thought you said you could help him.” He was accusing her. 

“Yeah blame me, Rachel was the one who barged in when I was trying to make a connection just make sure no one stops us this time.” [Name] rolled her eyes at Dick and walked toward Jason. She was going to help him now. 

“Hey,” She called out softly, “I can help you.”

“No,” Jason cried, “It won’t stop.” His pink chapped lips trembled. 

Dick stepped in, “Listen-”

“Bruce wasn’t the first one, you know...tried to help me,” Jason was sad. His heart was broken even before he met the Titans. Which is why he fought with so much anger. “I can make a list. Relatives, teachers, cops. Dick and now you. Nobody’s been up to the task, Phoenix.”

There was a pause before he continued, “I got a poison in me. Shit spreads, it can infect even the healthiest people.” Jason took a shaky breath in and each word he spoke, [Name] took a step forward. 

“You know,” [Name] began, “I thought the same thing myself, Jason. I was born with a powerful magic ability. It killed a lot of people, so the only thing I could do was to shut myself out from the world. I kept low and only interacted with people when I needed to.” 

She stepped onto the edge of the building, standing proudly next to Jason. “Yet that didn’t stop my chaos magic from growing stronger. It acted on its own and well when you hit the lowest point of life, you think of terrible things. So I came up with a plan to off myself. Maybe the world would be better without a poison like me, I thought. But then I was saved.” 

“Why don’t you just step away,” Dick told Jason and [Name] whipped her head at the older male. She was trying to reach Jason, but she couldn’t do it if he was distracted. She didn’t want to alter his reality without his permission. 

Jason shook his head, “No.”

“Step away from the ledge, Jason.” Dick tried again. 

The boy said nothing and Dick sat by [Name]’s legs with John sitting happily in his lap. [Name] gave a side glare at Dick and mouthed, “You seriously sitting here with John?” 

He mouthed back with a smile, “You’ll catch us.” 

Dick spoke outloud for Jason to hear, “I guess we’ll sit here. Together.”

She focused back on the task at hand. “Please, tell me what you think you did so wrong,” [Name] begged the teen and she saw a slight movement of his head. He was so close to looking at her. 

“I fucked it all up,” Jason began, his voice cracking again, “coming here. You know, it’s happened before. I once spent two nights in juvie and four fucking people died.” He sighed exasperated, “It follows me like a curse.”

[Name] shook her head, “No, the only thing that follows you is the truth.” At this point, she didn’t know if her words were meant for herself, Dick or Jason. Maybe the three of them needed to hear it. “We all have our regrets, our guilt and our own suffering.”

“I’m the reason they all hate each other,” Jason sniffled, “The reason that kid got shot, the reason this place won’t work.” 

[Name] shook her head. 

Jason exhaled, “But I can fix it. Remove the poison.” He leaned forward and moved his left foot out. But Dick’s voice stopped him. 

“Jason, wait,” Dick looked at [Name] as if he was telling her it’s now or never, “lend [Name] your hand. She’ll stop you from falling.” 

Jason looked over at the trio then to [Name]’s outstretched hand. He stared at her soft hand wanting to hold it, but he couldn’t. “Who s-saved you?” Jason had to know her story. She said she was saved, but who saves people who are infected with poison? 

[Name] gave him a kind smile and gestured to her boys behind her, “They both did at different times. Like I said earlier, I planned to kill myself in my teens. Although, Boy Wonder had other plans. He said he wanted to take me out and I called bullshit.” 

Jason snorted. He was slowly coming back. 

“Then he actually took me out on a date. He gave me flowers, affection and love. Then he gave me the greatest gift of all.” 

“Which was?” Jason asked, his tears still evident. 

[Name] smiled and looked down at John, “My beautiful son.”

Jason looked at her hand again and then to her, “How do I know you’ll stop me from falling?”

“Because I won’t let you go.” 

Jason held her hand and she pulled him into a soft embrace. She held him like a mother holds her own child. Then she pressed a kiss onto Jason’s forehead removing that terrible trauma suffocating him. 

“My little Jaybird,” [Name] whispered and Jason buried his head in the crook of her neck letting his tears fall

[crowdvscritic]

round up // JANUARY 21

New year, not-so-new Crowd vs. Critic! It’s another batch of films, TV, music, and reads that were new to me this month and think you would enjoy, too. As we cozy up inside for the winter, nothing warms you up like a good piece of pop culture.

January Crowd-Pleasers

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

Does this sequel reach the heights of 2017’s Wonder Woman? No, but I wish more superhero movies were like this one. I explain why at ZekeFilm. Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 8/10

21 Bridges (2019)

A solid action crime thriller with a solid Chadwick Boseman at the center. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

The Lethal Weapon Series (1987-98)

I watched the first Lethal Weapon in 2017 for ZekeFilm, but now I’ve a decade’s pleasure of progressively over-the-top action sequences and progressively more absurd ways to destroy Roger Murtaugh’s (Danny Glover) house. The Murtaugh/Riggs bromance holds this progressively sillier series together, and an supporting cast of charismatic actors (Jet Li, Darlene Love, Chris Rock, Rene Russo) are game for whatever comes their way. Joe Pesci is the true MVP. Series Crowd: 9/10 // Series Critic: 7/10

The High Note (2020)

Tracee Ellis Ross’s Grace Davis is a diva in every sense of the word. A high-strung and highly successful singer, she’s also highly demanding of her assistant Maggie (Dakota Johnson), who wants to step out of her shadow and become a music producer. This rom-com-adjacent flick is one of the most fun escapes I’ve had from a 2020 movie, and it’s perfect for a girls’ night in. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10

Double Feature—Rom-Coms With a Magical Twist: Just My Luck (2006) + When In Rome (2010)

Disclaimer: These movies are not good. In fact, they’re junk, but they’re my kind of junk. In Just My Luck (Crowd: 7.5/10 // Critic: 6/10), Lindsay Lohan loses her life-long lucky streak when she kisses schlimazel Chris Pine. And When in Rome (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 6/10), Kristen Bell attracts unwanted admirers (Will Arnett, Danny DeVito, Josh Duhamel, Jon Heder, and real-life future husband Dax Shepard) after she steals their coins from a wishing fountain. To their credit, both of these movies know they’re silly, which means you have permission to just sit back and laugh along with (or, honestly, at) them.

WandaVision (2021)

I sometimes fear for the world of entertainment when I think of how much intellectual property Disney has gobbled up, but WandaVision is evidence the company is a benevolent dictator at least for now. This odd delight is a send up and a tribute to sitcoms like I Love Lucy, I Dream of Jeannie, and The Brady Bunch, and Paul Bettany and Elizabeth Olsen are so charming and weird I don’t need whatever mysterious sub-plot they’re building.

Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

If you want to make the most of watching Robin Hood: Men in Tights, first watch Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991), an action flick I saw last February and didn’t include in my monthly Round Up. This Mel Brooks spoof is a direct response that self-serious Kevin Costner adventure, even down to copying its costumes. While I wish I could find a Mel Brooks comedy with any substantial female character (in every movie I’ve seen so far, the joke is either, “She’s got a great rack!” or “Wow, she’s an uggo!”), I still couldn’t stop laughing at this 104-minute version of the Robin Hood scene in Shrek. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10

Aliens (1986)

Peak ‘80s action. Peak alien grossness. Peak girl boss Sigourney Weaver. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/.510

Big (1988)

After talking about Laverne & Shirley with Kyla on SO IT’S A SHOW?, I had to check out Penny Marshall’s classic. While a few moments haven’t aged so well, its heart is sweet and the script is hilarious. And that Tom Hanks? I think he’s going places. Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 8/10

Unstoppable (2010)

I’ve laughed at SNL’s spoof of this movie for a decade, so it’s about time I got around to enjoying this action thriller very loosely based on the true story of a train that got away from its conductor. Denzel Washington (“You’re too old!”) and Chris Pine (“You’re too young!”) are our heroes in this over-the-top ridiculousness, and their chemistry is so extra it makes me hope they team up for another movie again. Crowd:  9/10 // Critic: 7/10

January Critic Picks

Double Feature—‘90s Space Adventures: Apollo 13 (1995) + Contact (1997)

I have no desire to join Tom Cruise as he films in space, but I know I’ll be pumped to watch whatever he makes because I love sci-fi and space  adventures. Apollo 13 (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9/10) tells the story of an almost-disastrous NASA mission in the ‘60s, and it taps into our hope for the human spirit to overcome obstacles. Contact (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10) surmises what might happen if we received communication from extraterrestrial life, and it taps into our struggle to reconcile faith and science.

McCartney III by Paul McCartney (2020)

I spent January catching up on the albums on Best of 2020 lists, and the one I listened to for hours and hours was Paul McCartney’s latest solo album. Catchy, thoughtful, and musically surprising, it ranges from pop to rock to folk in 45 minutes and still feels like it’s over too soon. Like Tom Hanks, this Paul McCartney guy is going places!

The Thin Man Series (1934-47)

Like Lethal Weapon, I watched the first installment of The Thin Man awhile back, and Kyla and I even covered the series on our podcast. But thanks to a full series marathon on TCM earlier this month, I’ve now laughed through all five. When you talk about great chemistry, you’ve got to talk about William Powell and Myrna Loy, who make Nick and Nora’s marriage feel lived in and romantic as they solve crimes together. Witty, suspenseful, and jaunty, this series is still sexy cool over 80 years later. (Also, Asta? Still one of the cutest dogs in cinema.) Series Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

The King and I (1956)

Here’s your regularly scheduled reminder Hollywood works differently now, and many casting decisions of the ‘50s wouldn’t fly today. What has aged well in this film: The Rodgers and Hammerstein music and the sumptuous costumes and set design. I love extravagant musicals of yesteryear—perhaps it’s time for Hollywood to revisit and remake The King and I for modern audiences?

Inauguration Day

In a year with no major televised events with celebrities in a room together, Inauguration Day felt like the most exciting cultural event in ages. We’ve been missing major fashion, but then we got Lady Gaga! We’ve been missing live performances, but then we got Amanda Gorman! And I got a lot of tears during that poem—not just me, right?

Good Reads

Writing that made me think and smile this month:

Steven Soderbergh’s list of everything he read, watched, and listened to this year, Extension765.com (2020) – An indirect inspiration for these monthly Round Ups!

“My Year of Making Lists,” NewYorker.com (2020) – I made a lot of lists in 2020, so I feel this author’s #mood

“Betty White Says She Will Spend Her 99th Birthday Feeding Two Ducks Who Visit Her ‘Every Day,’“ CBSNews.com (2021) - “Betty is a treasure,” I say as I watch The Proposal for the 99th time

“A Sculpture’s Unusual Journey to SLAM [St. Louis Art Museum],” SLAM.org (2020) – With a casual mention of an attraction I never knew about in St. Louis

“The Culture Is Ailing. It’s Time for a Dr. Fauci for the Arts.” WashingtonPost.com (2020) – An idea that occurred to me a few months ago: Why don’t we have an Arts Cabinet?

“The Arts Are in Crisis. Here’s How Biden Can Help.” NYTimes.com (2021) – Partly in response to that Washington Post piece, a historical look at how artists have made it through difficult times in the past and how we can revive artists’ livelihoods mid- and post-pandemic

“The Right’s Message to Silicon Valley: 'Free Speech for Me, But Not for Thee,'” TIME.com (2021) – A more thoughtful and less reactionary take on a volatile moment in the history of modern technology

“'It Makes Me Sick With Grief': Trump's Presidency Divided Families. What Happens to Them Now?” TIME.com (2021) – A study on how politics has done damage to family dynamics in America

“Help, the Only Cinema I Can Handle Is Zac Efron Prancing Angrily in High School Musical 2,” Vulture.com (2021) - In a lot of ways, same

“50 Easy Things To Do When You are Anxious,” ShopTwentySeven.com (2021) – I especially endorse coloring, puzzling, and watching happy movies!

Double Feature—Miss Marple Mysteries: Murder at the Gallop (1963) + Murder Ahoy (1964)

Remember when I was all like, “Watch these Agatha Christie movies so you’re not sad Death on the Nile is delayed”? Remember when I said I was just a few movies away from becoming an Agatha Christie junkie? Well, I think I’m there because I can’t stop with the murder mysteries! Margaret Rutherford is a treasure whether she’s solving a murder at a horse ranch or on a boat, and a cast of colorful supporting characters (including Rutherford’s husband) makes these breezy instead of heavy. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8/10

8½ (1963)

File this with 2001: A Space Odyssey—I don’t know if I really understood this film, but I think I liked it? Federico Fellini’s surrealist, male gaze-y drama blurs the lines between reality and imagination, love and dysfunction, and the past and maybe some future that involves clowns? What resonated with me was the story of a director with creative block, wondering if he’s already peaked and if he’ll create anything worthwhile again. Crowd: 6/10 // Critic: 9/10

Sense and Sensibility: The Screenplay and Diaries by Emma Thompson (1995)

Sense and Sensibility is not just one of my favorite Jane Austen adaptations—it’s one of my all-time favorite films. One of the co-hosts of one of my favorite podcasts has raved many-a-time about Emma Thompson’s journals from the making of film, so it was only a matter of time before I read them myself. Witty, informative, and all-around lovely, Thompson’s journals are an excellent insight into the filmmaking process and how novels are adapted.

Also in January…

I reviewed the new-ish documentary Flannery for ZekeFilm, which is all about the writer Flannery O’Connor and feels a little like going back to high school English class.

In addition to the Lethal Weapon and Thin Man series, I rewatched all of the X-Men series this month. You can see everything I am watching on Letterboxd, including favorites I love returning to (i.e. X-Men: Days of Future Past) and the movies I try that don’t make my monthly recommendations (i.e. The Wolverine).

Photo credits: Paul McCartney, Zac Efron, Sense & Sensibility. All others IMDb.com.

[volgdemagischewinx]

Oh no by all means grouch it's great for soul and body, honest!

I'm also sad you seem to have to tiptoe around the stuff because like, you not enjoying something doesn't take away joy from the person for whom it is special? It's 100% fine to say you don't like something.

To me it's not so much that they're all paired off, and the whole thing where the male and female friend group match perfectly thing could even be developed for a comedy aspect. But more weird to me is that they all RIGHT away were paired off. Like, right at the beginning of season 1 you could tell who ends up with who and I feel that there was no friendship between them first, they all jumped right into the "talking with expectations" stage.

I do think a reboot could use more variety though. And AT LEAST they could avoid the complete boomer ending for them all, for an example, my HC is that Riven had small pox when he was a kid and he can't have kids with a girl because of that. So he and Musa are a straight couple, HS sweethearts, but they're childfree- and it is not a cliche scenario where the man is presented to high heavens as oh so noble to stay with an infertile girl. You know, stuff like that.

Do you have any lgbt ships? I don't like Blicy much because I think Bloom can do better, but I love Mirta and Lucy. I kinda see Riven have a crush on Helia, so that AU works for me too.

Haha yeah, it's partially cause I really prefer to keep this blog a positive space, but also I kind of have this irrational fear that if I say the wrong thing I'll either really hurt someone's feelings, get people to hate me, or both😅. Anxiety thing. Trying to work on that

Anyway when it comes to fandom stuff and ship stuff specifically. It's something that can cause people to get real heated real fast. The Winx fandom is pretty chill in that area, there's a few unpopular ships, but I think we mostly just respect everything. I don't wanna be the person to rock that boat. And I have also been on the other side of things where it seemed impossible to just enjoy the canon ship because people would spread their bitterness everywhere they could

So you know it's kinda like toeing this line between "I don't wanna be the bitter person sucking the fun out of things that bring people joy" and "I don't wanna pretend to never be bothered by heteronormativity in media, or feign interest in things I just don't care about" Still working on the right balance there😂 And with all that in mind I'm just gonna put the rest of the answer under the cut so folks can more easily skip any negativity

Yeah, I've mentioned it in passing before but the romantic development in Winx is non-existent lmao. I don't mind it too much because it just drives home how little importance was placed on the romance/male characters, you know? But it does contribute to my lack of investment in the ships and why I'm so callous about the option of them not carrying over in modern versions

Agreed! I already hate the way they're all paired off in the show, a babies ever after for everyone on top of that would just be nauseating. And I could easily see Riven and Musa not having kids, along with the other things you said

I do, but I mostly try to keep the idea of wanting better(or any) queer rep separate from what ships I like. A lot of fans don't do that and that's how you get fucking Robin coming out of the closet and some people still being salty because he's not dating the guy they ship him with lmao. Provided it was done well, I would not be picky about what ships were used for rep so long as it was there

Agreed on Blicy. I get why it’s popular, but I've never seen anything romantic or compelling about their dynamic myself, and I tend to not be drawn towards villain ships in general. For Bloom I obviously really adore BloomxStella, and while I wouldn't say I ship it, I think the potential is there for BloomxDiapro if the latter was written differently

I also like MirtaxLucy and also FloraxMirta(this I think would be the most likely candidate for a canon one in a reboot). I never considered Riven with a crush on Helia before, but I could be down with that. BrandonxSky is fun for me in AU settings, but I can't really see as a thing in most versions with how I interpret Sky. RivenXNabu could be good. Also MusaxAisha. I love them

[what-big-teeth]

Slumber (Male Sandman, pt. 1)

A huge shoutout to @delldarling​! Her awesome stories featuring Spiros brought to mind this mythical being and the idea behind this. Be sure to check out her blog! Female Reader (POV) x Male Monster [Part 2]

It’s the twelfth night you’ve gone without sleep, and you’re on the verge of tearing your hair out. The issue hasn’t been consecutive, but it’s starting to grate on your shot nerves, like nails on a chalkboard. Biting your bottom lip, you turn onto your side in your bed and think back to how this whole mess started.

One random night without sleep became two, then three, until you could only sleep two days out of the whole week. With time, your performance at work began to suffer due to lack of energy. And worse, you started snapping at your co-workers, who only questioned you out of concern. It got to the point where your boss had to intervene, flat out telling you to go home.

Near tears, you came home to your apartment and to your best friend. Robin was quick to notice your growing distress. And without a complaint, they drove you to the doctor’s office and stayed by your side during the entire visit. You can still remember the calming warmth of their light brown hand as it held yours.

It helped, especially when you were diagnosed with acute insomnia. It had to be stress-related, the doctor said. But your life so far had been worry-free. Paid bills, a normal workload, a regular diet. Nothing out of the ordinary. Which is probably why your doctor prescribed patience and time, to see if the issue would resolve itself.

But here you are, coming up on a month since your insomnia began. You’ve done everything the doctor suggested: lighter dinners before bed and no caffeine at all. Hell, you’ve even bought a set of blackout curtains and began charging your phone on the opposite side of your bedroom. Just so you wouldn’t be tempted to check it.

All of that, and still nothing.

The wooden floorboards of the hallway creak and your bedroom door slowly opens. The dim light of the hallway washes over part of your room. But it doesn’t reach your bed due to a long, stretching shadow obscuring most of the glow. It belongs to Robin, who’s wearing their most comfortable pair of pajama pants, an oversized t-shirt, and their slippers. They look at you with a sympathetic expression.

“What time is it?” you rasp.

“Almost one.” They stifle a yawn, but their wide nose still flairs out. “The chamomile tea didn’t help?”

You slowly shake your head, knowing you look as miserable as you feel. But Robin blows away a stray, natural curl from their face and musters up a small smile.

“Then we’ll try something else,” they say in a soothing voice.

“No,” you say, tone sharper than intended. You wince, muttering an apology to them. “The art exhibit is in two days and you should be at your best to showcase your work. You need to rest.”

“So do you,” they say.

Because you both know you can’t keep going without sleep. Because your sick leave hours are running out. Because Robin has taken on your portion of the rent and utility bill, which is more than they can handle. But as much as you both wish it, there’s nothing they can do to help.

“I’ll be okay,” you say. “We can head back to the clinic once the month is up.”

When my acute insomnia goes full-blown chronic, you think.

“If you’re sure...” Robin hedges, rubbing their knuckles against their short beard.

You nod your head and tuck yourself deeper under the covers.

“I am. Have a good night, Robin. Sweet dreams.”

They frown, but turn away from the doorway and close the door behind them with a soft click.

Leaving you alone with the silence of your room and your wet, burning eyes.

You curl in on yourself, silently begging for some sort of relief. Anything to rid you of your insomnia so your life can return to normal. Soon enough, your eyes have no more tears to shed and your soft crying subsides.  

That’s when you hear the hissing.

It’s not like the sound any animal or person would make. It’s constant, like a steady flow. Something pelting against the floor, getting closer and closer.

Until it’s right beside your bed.

You don’t react as quickly as you should. You can’t find the energy to scream for Robin or move away. All you can do is screw your eyes shut, wait, and hope.

The source of the noise gently caresses your damp, trembling cheek with a warm touch. Then your eyelids. A sudden heaviness settles onto them. And no matter how hard you try, you can’t open your eyes.

“Sleep.”

The deep, smooth voice follows you down into the dark as your body stills and your mind falls silent.

--------------------------------------------------------

A high-pitched alarm wrenches you awake. Blessedly, Robin is quick to turn it off, having always been an early riser. The noise silenced, you shift and snuggle deeper into your bed to keep sleeping...

You jackknife into a sitting position, eyes wide. You were sleeping. But how? Absolutely nothing you had tried worked so far. Not Robin’s home remedies or the doctor’s suggestions. What made last night different from all the rest? You think back to then, to your tossing and turning in bed, to Robin checking on you and then—

“Sleep.”

Your fingertips touch your cheek as your skin recalls a warm, gentle caress. And the soothing, masculine voice that provided you some much needed relief. You would allow yourself to admire the warm cadence of the voice if the reality of a late-night break-in didn’t suddenly slam into you.

You scramble out of bed and yank back your curtains. You squint against the sunlight, but soon find what it reveals. All of your belongings are in their place and nothing has been touched. Not a break-in then. But there’s something new that doesn’t belong. Swirling trails of black, glistening dirt are pooled before your door. The dirt extends from its source, crossing the wooden floor of your room and ending beside your bed.

You walk over towards the mess and squat down. Reaching out, you rub the dirt between your fingers and note the very fine consistency.

It’s not dirt, you realize. It’s sand. But there’s something else: a black, brittle feather sits on the floor near the headboard of your bed. When you touch it, it disintegrates, transforming into the same black sand that’s sprinkled in your room.

And you realize it all belongs to the one who gave you a night’s reprieve.

That leaves a number of questions whirling around in your head, but three push themselves toward the forefront of your mind. Who was the figure? How did he get inside your apartment? And how did he relieve your insomnia?

The answer to this mystery, you realize, lies in the strange mess on your floor. You purse your lips and stand up. First things first.

You sidestep the proof of intrusion and tiptoe towards your door. Once it’s open far enough, you slip out into the hallway. The scent of breakfast, savory and sweet, drifts through the air and pulls a growl from deep within your stomach. But you ignore your hunger and turn towards the laundry room.

Thankfully, it doesn’t take long to locate the broom and dustpan as they’re leaning near the washing machine, where they were last left. With both gripped tightly in hand, you stride towards your room.

You don’t stop sweeping until all traces of last night are piled in the dustpan. Even then, you look around the room and check it over. It’s still your room, but somehow it feels different. Less foreign and more familiar. All because you were able to sleep.

Your feet lead to you to the shared dining room and kitchen, where Robin stands before the stove with a spatula in their hand. They turn to greet you, but stop short when they spot the filled dustpan you hold.

“Something…happened last night.” You say. “I managed to fall asleep.”

Their mouth twists into a confused but happy smile. “That’s great! But why do you have…”

Robin points their chin towards the black sand.

“Yeah, about that.”

You explain everything that happened. What you heard and felt; what you couldn’t see. The mess in your room after waking up, including the strange feather. Robin places a steaming plate of homemade breakfast and a fork in front of you with a contemplative hum.

“I know I locked the front door and balcony door last night,” they say. “And I didn’t hear anything after going back to bed.”

“I’m glad you believe me,” you say. Your hands ball into fists against your thighs. “Because I still can’t believe what I saw.”

Robin pushes your plate closer to you; you don’t need to be told twice. You scoop up a sizable mouthful of food with your fork and blow on it to cool it down. Between bites, Robin walks over to the dustpan and gathers a bit of sand in their hand.

“Do you think he’ll come back?”

Your fork clinks against an empty spot on your plate. Against all logic, you want to say yes. Going further, you want him to return. Because of the deep relief he brought you when you were close to losing hope. Robin, who’s been by your side since both of you were toddlers, gives you a knowing look.

“I don’t think he’s dangerous,” you say, thinking of the soft touch against your cheek. “He almost sounded relieved when he spoke. Like he was finally in the right place at the right time.”

“Guess that settles it then.”

Robin dusts off their hands then turns on their heel to face you.

“We should get ready to welcome your mystery visitor again tonight.” They grin. “But first, how about a trip to your favorite bakery? Like a mini day out on the town.”

“Don’t you mean ‘night’?” you say.

“Besides your sandy savior, do you really want anything to do with nighttime after everything that’s happened so far?”

You huff out a laugh and agree with them, turning your attention back to your plate.

With Robin’s help, you know you’ll get to the bottom of things.

[imonlyhereformyclass]

Sin City Bombshells

For this post, I am going to be analyzing the following female characters: Nancy, Wendy, Gail, Miho, and Shellie. I am going to be going in depth about Lucille in another post, when I discuss lesbians. I know it’s a lot, but each of these characters represent a different spectrum of female sexuality, and to a certain extent, objectification. Most of the significant female characters are in the sex industry, as prostitutes or strippers, respectively. 

First, we have Nancy Callahan, played by Jessica Alba. Her story is brought by Bruce Willis’ character, John Hartigan, saving her when she was a child from a child predator. They part for several years and meet again in the future when Hartigan gets out of jail. He sees her as a 19 year old working as a stripper. She tells him that she never stopped thinking about him and has fallen in love with him. It is implied that they start dating afterwards. I don’t mind an age gap in relationships but this one rubbed me the wrong way. Hartigan met her as an 11 year old and he was grown. Now that she is older, she is viewed as a sexual object. I think that this represents the barely legal fetish that a lot of men carry. Along with this, Nancy is the perfect example of the stereotypical image of a stripper. She is a young woman (college age, fresh out of high school) with a heavy baggage of childhood trauma mixed with potential daddy issues. I think she fell in love with Hartigan because he saved her as her lowest. A savior, of sorts. I expected her to have a bigger role in the story because she is a huge name and is even on the cover. She only appears for a small bit and was only accompanied by Hartigan. She is constantly sexualized by her now stripper job and her kidnapping. I think it would have been a cool idea if Hartigan and her teamed up, like a Batman and Robin situation. Her role as a film noir trope is the “The good-bad girl stands in between the girl-next-door and the femme fatale, which highlights her moral ambiguity” (Barroso). Nancy has an innocent image (as we remember her from the beginning of the movie as a child), however, is now grown and had a darker moral code. Her becoming a sex worker also ruptures her moral ambiguity. Some still believe that being involved in the sex industry is immoral and evil. 

Next is Wendy. She is played by Jamie King. Wendy is the twin sister of Goldie, Marv’s prostitute lover. The reason she is given that name is the striking image of her soft golden billowing hair. Goldie was killed, hence Marv (Mickey Rourke) going on the hunt to find her killer. He blames himself for her murder and goes on a revenge spree to avenge her as he couldn’t save her previously. Since the beginning, she is framed in a sexual lens. She is described as an angel sent from heaven. She is naked the second the audience sees her in a passionate lovemaking scene. She is enveloped in light. Dana Leventhal observes, “The men idealize, romanticize, pine for the women by placing them on impossible pedestals (circumscribed by sexuality and desire) as cherished imaginings and visions, and through this possession make it their duty to guard and safekeeping them, especially since the women are jeopardized or victimized by brutal crime and injustice” (Leventhal). He finds out that Goldie has a twin, Wendy. Wendy is hardened and dead set on revenge, as she should be. She is a no nonsense type of woman. Wendy is tough and willing to bring the murderers to justice. She is still sexualized, nonetheless, as Marv always compared her to her sister, and viewed her the same way. Donaldson writes, “The women of classic noir are often alluring, moral ambiguous, and two steps ahead of the men in the story” (Donaldson). Wendy is alluring, as she starkly resembles her prostitute twin sister. She is morally ambiguous as she is dark and calculating, yet she joins Marv (the anti-hero) on avenging the wrongful murder of her sister. Wendy is one of my favorite characters as I liked how merciless she was. 

Gail, played by Rosario Dawson, serves as one of two women of color characters. That is a discussion for another day, as I am going to be analyzing her character. She is the femme fatale. Barroso defines the trope as, “The femme fatale...is mysterious and seductive, known for using her charms to ensnare men and get them into dangerous, and most often, deadly situations. Her main characteristic is using her feminine sexual traits as a way to achieve hidden purposes” (Barroso). She is tough and isn’t going down without a fight. She is the epitome of female empowerment in the eyes of men: tough and battle ready, and looks good doing it. From the picture alone, she is scantily clad. She looks great and I like her outfit but I know the reason why she is dressed like this. She is cunning and commanding. She resembles and reminds me of a dominatrix. Sexually dangerous and isn’t afraid to beat down men. She has masculine traits like being the leader of the gang and she is gritty and domineering. She kills men in a severely violent manner and is strong and self sufficient. 

I freaking love Miho. She is, by far, my favorite character in the film. The movies that Devon Aoki appears in, her characters always reign supreme. There is a reason Suki from 2 Fast 2 Furious is still so popular and raved about. However, there is something I hated about her character. She didn't say a word. Her character is the epitome of age old Asian stereotypes: the silent ninja. Miho would strike her sword on her opponents in the same “badass” manner as a ninja would. Her character had so much potential and I feel like it was a waste to have her be silent the entire time. Both her and Gail are the tough girls in the film. Leventhal writes, “The women are not helpless, powerless, or weak; rather, they are cunning and battle-ready. Not only do they refrain from asking for help from the male protagonists, but they either resist or fight to save themselves from their enemies” (Leventhal). Miho is presented differently from the other girls of the film. Her, along with Gail, are not the average damsel in distress, which I like. Laura Woodhouse rants, “Miho...initially appears to be the only truly powerful woman in Sin City. She is not possessed by a man, she is not a victim, she is certainly not physically passive as she goes on to kill many more men and can easily win a fight with any man...It is almost as though Miho is a different creature, a member of a race of silent killers that exist only to perform acts of violence. Quite simply, she cannot be presented as a ‘normal’ female because she has superior killing skills to a man and this threatens the patriarchal nature of Sin City. The creators of Sin City rob Miho of a voice in order to justify her power” (”The F Word”). 

Last, but not least, there is Shellie. Played by the late Brittany Murphy, she is a prostitute. Her costume in her major story arc is a black underwear set with a white oversized button down shirt. Given that she was in her own home and she is allowed to wear what she wants, but it rectifies the stereotype that women walk around their home scantily clad, sexually available for overnight guests. Along with that, it fits her day job of being eyed on by the voyeuristic audience. Shellie is conceived as the victim character; she needs the help of her boyfriend to save her from her deranged pimp of a boss. Leventhal notes, “the traditional formulations or projections of femininity as sexuality are retained, as are the concomitant age-old misogynistic conceits of male domination/paternalism in the guise of safety and defense of women, i.e., the cliche that women are weak and need rescuing by men from other men” (Leventhal). Shellie mirrors the poor princess locked up in a tower, needing her Prince Charming to come and save her. 

Barroso, Malu, et al. “The Representation of Women in Film Noir.” High On Films, 10 Oct. 2019, www.highonfilms.com/women-in-film-noir/.

Donaldson, Kayleigh. “Problematic Faves: Sin City.” SYFY WIRE, SYFY WIRE, 24 Apr. 2020, www.syfy.com/syfywire/problematic-faves-sin-city.

Leventhal, Dana. “Superwomen? The Bad-Ass Babes of Sin City – or Are They?” Bright Lights Film Journal, 28 Apr. 2019, brightlightsfilm.com/superwomen-bad-ass-babes-sin-city/.

Woodhouse, Laura, et al. “Sin City.” Word, 18 June 2005, thefword.org.uk/2005/06/sin_city/.

[aion-rsa]

Best Romantic Movies on Hulu Right Now

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Romance gets a bad rap at the movies. Until you behold the best romantic movies on Hulu.

Yes, Hulu is on the case with an expansive collection of romantic movies for you to connect with your softer side… or the side of you that screams in an eternal tormented shriek, desperately trying to find a mate whose shrieks match your tone in this expansive disappointing nothingness of existence. Love is hard. Anywho, here are the best romantic movies on Hulu right now.

Sense and Sensibility

This Jane Austen character really seems to have a handle on romance. The 1995 film Sense and Sensibility is adapted from the Austen novel of the same name and has a great deal of talent both in front of and behind the camera. Oscar winner Ang Lee directs while Emma Thompson (yes, that Emma Thompson) wrote the script.

Thompson stars alongside Kate Winslet, Alan Rickman and Hugh Grant. The movie, like the book concerns the Dashwood sisters and their sudden descent into non-stupendous wealth. Of course then the romance begins (not between the sisters, weirdos. Alan Rickman and Hugh Grant are in this thing too, remember?)

AWOL

AWOL is how indie romances should be – small, authentic, affecting. Joey (Lola Kirke) and Rayna (Breeda Wool) are two young women from a nowheresville Pennsylvania town. They meetcute at a local carnival and quickly fall for each other but circumstances threaten to crush their romance before it can even begin.

AWOL understands first and foremost that while love is easy, relationships (and arguably everything else in the world is hard). Sometimes what you want and what your environment is able to allow you to have are two very different things.

Margarita with a Straw

2014’s Margarita with a Straw is both a coming-of-age and romance film the likes of which you’ve probably never seen. This Indian film comes from director Shonali Bose and stars Kalki Koechlin as Laila, an Indian teenager with cerebral palsy, trying to achieve some independence in her life.

Read more

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Best Romantic Movies on Amazon Prime Right Now

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That opportunity comes for Laila when she is accepted to New York Universtiy and moves to Greenwich Village. There she meets and falls in love with blind Pakistani activist. Miles from home, Laila must deal with her changing, burgeoning sexuality and live in a world not built for her. But it’s cool: she can always take her margarita with a straw. 

Hello, My Name is Doris

Between TBS’s (now HBO Max’s) Search Party and Hello, My Name is Doris, director Michael Showalter had a stellar 2016. Hello, My Name is Doris is a wonderfully sweet, equally tragic and completely hilarious romantic comedy. 

Sally Field stars as the titular Doris, a lively woman in her ’60s who after the death of her mother becomes infatuated with a younger man. With the help of cliched self-help materials she does whatever she can to get his attention. Hello, My Name is Doris is an empathetic romantic comedy that will change how you view age.

Cashback

Cashback wins a very important award on this list: most intriguing, provocative poster. But it’s more than just a pretty poster. Cashback is a British romantic comedy about the most mundane of topics: working at a grocery store.

For anyone who as ever been young and had an interest in the opposite sex (or any sex for that matter), however, they know that one’s place of employment is often an absolute fountain of sex and chemistry. If that simple exposition isn’t enough, Cashback comes along with a sci-fi twist and more importantly: Oliver Wood from the Harry Potter series. 

Let the Right One In

Let the Right One In may seem like another odd choice for a romantic movie on Hulu but it’s romantic and sweet in a way that few other movies are. Sure, the players involved are a little boy and a little girl vampire (though the fact that she’s a vampire may very well mean she’s centuries old, just try not to think about it).

It’s a spooky yet undeniably sweet movie that presents the female side of a romantic entanglement as the ultimate protector.

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50 First Dates

50 First Dates has a somewhat disappointing Rotten Tomatoes score. Ignore that. It’s probably partially due to many critics’ distaste for at least one of the actors in the above screengrab. Not that they can be blamed. The presence of Adam Sandler or Rob Schneider in any comedy can be a rough sign. In 50 First Dates‘, however, it’s not an issue at all.

50 First Dates is a legitimately funny and romantic romantic comedy. Drew Barrymore stars as Lucy Whitmore, a woman with short-term memory loss. Due to a car accident, every day she wakes up believing it is October 13, 2002. Sandler’s character Henry Roth meets her in Hawaii and the two must overcome this bizarre condition to establish a lasting relationship.

Date Night

What do you get when you take the male lead of a popular NBC sitcom and pair him with the female lead (and mastermind behind) another popular NBC sitcom? A pretty decent rom-com as it turns out! Date Night stars Steve Carell (The Office) and Tina Fey (30 Rock) as a disaffected married couple trying to spice up their love life with a romantic night out on the town. But when a reservation steal turns into a case of mistaken identity, the pair’s night gets quite dangerous.

Date Night‘s action-heavy concept isn’t anything new to the romantic comedy genre but the presence of Carell and Fey (along with Mark Wahlberg, Taraji P. Henson, James Franco, Kirsten Wiig, Mark Ruffalo, and a whole host of other impressive talent) is enough to make this a pleasant viewing experience.

The Princess Bride

So you want to watch one of the most purely lovely and entertaining romance movies of all time? Well Hulu is here to say “as you wish.” The Princess Bride is a 1987 fantasy adventure film based on a book by prolific screenwriter William Goldman. The inspiration to the story infamously came from Goldman’s two daughters requesting conflicting stories about “princesses” and “brides.” So the writer decided to do two for the price of one.

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In this adaptation, Cary Elwes stars as Westley, a young farmhand who loves Princess Buttercup (Robin Wright). But when Westley is shipwrecked and left for dead and Buttercup is betrothed to Prince Humperdinck, the hero must embark on a sprawling adventure to rescue her. And of course this is a framed bedtime story being told to Fred Savage in bed…as all movies should be.

The Boy Downstairs

So much of what goes into a good romantic relationship is timing. Sometimes the chemistry is there but the timing is not. 2017’s The Boy Downstairs delves into this phenomenon from a millennial perspective.

Aspiring Brooklyn writer Diana (Zosia Mamet) and aspiring musician (millennials are always aspiring, you see) Ben (Matthew Shear) are in a happy, successful relationship. But Diana is forced to break things off after she moves to London. When Diana returns, she finds a new apartment through her friend and guess who just happens to be the boy downstairs? That’s right: Ben…and with a new girlfriend, no less. What follows is a funny, yet mature examination of what it takes to get the right one back.

Happiest Season

The setup for Hulu’s 2020 Internet-breaking comedy Happiest Season is very romantic…to a point. Abby (Kristen Stewart) and Harper (Mackenzie Davis) are in love. Yay! Not only that, but they’re going to Harper’s parents’ house for Christmas where Abby might propose. Woo! Also Harper has not told her parents she’s a lesbian and in a committed relationship with a woman. Oh. Oh no. Poor Abby!

Read more

Movies

Happiest Season: The Problem With Harper’s Treatment of Abby and Riley

By Delia Harrington

Movies

Happiest Season Review: Kristen Stewart and Mackenzie Davis Make Christmas Classic

By Natalie Zutter

Questionable setup aside, this an excellent, personal effort from actress turned writer-director Clea DuVall. It’s an attention-grabber and conversation-starter to be sure. It also certainly doesn’t hurt that much of the cast is mind-meltingly hot. Stewart, Davis, Alison Brie, and Aubrey Plaza are like a who’s who of TV and movie crushes. Hell even Victor Garber and Mary Steenburgen can absolutely get it. All in all, the charismatic cast and accessible concept makes for a surprisingly wholesome romance movie.

Plus One

Maybe it’s just me, but there’s something really charming about erstwhile TV stars playing the lead opposite each other in a romantic movie. Such is the case with 2019’s Plus One, which stars Maya Erskine (of Pen15) and Jack Quaid (of The Boys).

Erskine and Quaid star as long-time friends Alice and Ben enduring the portion of their twenties where every friend seems to be getting married at once. Thankfully Alice and Ben have a longstanding agreement to always be each other’s “plus one” at every wedding. But such an arrangement couldn’t possibly lead to them discovering they have romantic feelings for each other, right? Right???

Palm Springs

“Time loop” movies frequently try to distinguish themself from Groundhog Day, the progenitor and most famous example of the form, by changing up the genre. Edge of Tomorrow is an action movie and Happy Death Day is a horror movie, for instance. What’s so impressive about Palm Springs is that it leans in to the romantic and comedic stylings of Groundhog Day and in many ways bests them.

In this movie, Andy Samberg styles as Nyles, a young man living through the hell of experiencing the same day (a wedding in Palm Springs) on a loop. In one particular loop, Nyles accidentally brings in the bride’s sister Sarah (Christin Milioti) and the two must confront the reality of living the same day over and over again forever together. You know…just like any couple.

LOVE AND BASKETBALL, Omar Epps, Sanaa Lathan, 2000, (c)New Line Cinema/courtesy Everett Collection

Love and Basketball

And now we come to a movie whose title is the two greatest things in the world! Love and Basketball is about…well, what you’d think. Quincy McCall (Omar Epps) and Monica Wright (Sanaa Lathan) are two next-door neighbors in Los Angeles, California, who are both singularly focused on pursuing their respective basketball careers.

Love and Basketball is a film all about passions – both creative and romantic. The movie also does a surprisingly thorough job of marking all the important beats of a relationship from childhood through the adult years. There’s a reason Love and Basketball has become a modest cult classic – it’s a fine execution of both the romantic and sports movie genres.

The post Best Romantic Movies on Hulu Right Now appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2QlunSD

[1980s-robin]

billy hargrove x reader

pairing: billy hargrove x fem!reader | steve harrington x best friend reader

fandom:  stranger things

requested: yes

summary: reader and steve harrington have been inseperable best friends since the begining of middle school. while nothing more than platonic occurs between the two of them, when billy hargrove enters the situation he develops feelings for reader and grows jealous of steve and reader’s friendship. 

a/n: i really wanted to write this as gender neutral, but since it is the 80’s i feel like the only relationship rumors that woud begin would be male/female because i just feel like people were less… understanding that lgbt people exist. also, i know billy is a year younger than steve however for the purpose of this story they’re the same age. also posted on my wattpad @/chiefhargroves

warnings: angst, fluffy ending, mentions of the word sex however no smut or implied smut. 

word count: 1.7k

Everyone in Hawkins High School knew that (Y/N) (Y/L/N) and Steve Harrington were best friends. From the first day of middle school, the two of them were essentially inseparable, they were always seen together, always sitting together, in fact, it was rumored that they even bribed some of the teachers to let them work together on projects with assigned partners. 

However, a friendship that is so close comes with its fair share of rumors. When people see Steve and (Y/N) together many of their fellow schoolmates begin to think that the two of them were together and romantically involved. Steve and (Y/N) had both shot down these rumors more than once, however not everyone listens to either of them, in fact, most people just think that they’re lying. People have been accusing them of being together since they were both fourteen years old. Every single day when they were in school, one or the other would hear someone giggling about how they’re “probably together” but neither of them let it bother them. Truth be told, there were no romantic feelings between the two. They were such close friends, that they didn’t see each other as more than that, and so they wouldn’t let some random people dictate whether or not they could be close. 

Things changed the year Billy Hargrove entered himself into the situation, Steve and her and become more and more involved with other friend groups, namely younger friend groups based around Steve being friends with Dustin. But, Max was one of these people and with her, (Y/N) met her brother Billy. Billy was the same age as (Y/N), but he also hated her best friend Steve as well as her new friend group. She tried to strike up a friendship with him nonetheless. Just about anyone who spent more than an hour could tell that Billy had some personal things going on in his life, and (Y/N) wasn’t blind enough to not be able to see this about him. She wanted him to have a friend, and after a while he started opening up to her, slowly. 

Despite the newfound friendship, it seemed like there was something making Billy distant from her, maybe it was his past and what was going on in his personal life. But she also had a feeling that it could have been something else, something about her.

Regardless of her suspicions, the year continued and Billy and (Y/N) continued their friendship, much to the dismay of the kids and Steve. She tried time and time again to explain that she wasn’t choosing him over them and that she would never do that. But a lot of them just didn’t want to listen to her, most of them just didn’t want her to be friends with Billy however some of them were able to figure out that (Y/N) had some more than friendly feelings for the boy. They just didn’t want her to get hurt, Steve mainly didn’t want her to get hurt since he really didn’t trust Billy. Max was a bigger supporter than the others, she thought that (Y/N) was good for Billy, she was just glad that he was starting to open up to someone. 

Once summer began, things changed for her. (Y/N) got a job at Scoops Ahoy with Steve and Robin, meaning that most of her days were spent working with Steve while Billy was working as a lifeguard at the pool. The two of them had their nights to spend together, however, after the first week into June Billy started acting rather different towards her. She had no idea why he would be acting as distant as he was, she had no idea that he was jealous of her being with Steve so often. He knew they were close friends, however, some part of him just wanted her to himself but was too afraid to say anything about it to her, or anyone really. 

On (Y/N)’s first day off of the week, she decided that she would go and visit Billy at work since she had a good idea of when his shift started. (Y/N) bought a cute, but expensive, swimsuit from one of the stores in the mall, and made her way to the public pool. She wasn’t too keen on being so surrounded by people, but she didn’t want to lose her friendship with Billy. As she made her way in, she noticed that Billy was just climbing the tower, he must have just started his shift. But, she wasn’t blind to the eyes of the older women on Billy, a glare setting in, one that she tried to push away as she decided to just sit down on the edge of the pool. Almost immediately, she felt eyes on her. (Y/N) moved to glance at Billy, sending a wave and a smile his way. Billy waved back, but there wasn’t much of a smile. 

That’s when the self-doubt set in when she started to question whether or not it was a mistake to come to the pool. Maybe Steve was right, maybe he wasn’t interested in her. Maybe he wouldn’t be good for her to be with. The girl’s eyes dropped, gazing at the pool as she fought the tears that were urging themselves to come out. But she wouldn’t let that happen, she was not going to cry about Billy Hargrove, and if she was it was going to be in the privacy of her bedroom over a pint of ice cream. 

So the young girl stood up, grabbing her towel and hugging it tight to her body and beginning to walk back to her car, well, she was speed walking back to her car. The second she reached her car and sat down in the driver’s seat, the tears started to stream. God, she felt like an idiot. He had stopped talking to her as much, wasn’t eager to see her, hell even Max stopped talking to her. Probably because she felt awkward talking to someone who her brother disliked. 

The rest of the day carried on that way, it’s not like she could go to any of her friends. (Y/N) was embarrassed that she had developed feelings for someone who didn’t reciprocate them in the first place. It would only make it worse to visit people who had told her from the beginning that she wasn’t going to get anywhere with that boy, that if they did do anything it would be sex and nothing else. Thankfully, her parents were on vacation for the week, so she had the house to herself meaning that she didn’t have to hide away in her bedroom. 

It was around nine pm when she heard a knock on her door. “One minute!” She called, grabbing a mirror from next to her to make sure she didn’t look like she had been crying. Satisfied with how she looked, (Y/N) moved to answer the door. Much to her surprise, she found Billy. “What?” She asked, rather bluntly. She had been crying about him all night, it’s not like she was pleased to see him at her doorstep. “I’m sorry that I upset you at the pool. I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you.” Billy started, which caught her off guard, in all the time she had known Billy he hadn’t once apologized to anyone. “Come in.” She said as she moved away from the door so he had room to come in.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” She asked him, her voice quivering again but she held it back, he had apologized, she just wanted to know why. “Because I-” He cut himself off, it was as if Billy was just trying to find the right words to respond to her with. Which, he probably was. “I don’t just see you in a… uh… shit that’s not…” Billy cut himself off yet again. “I like you.” He said, looking anywhere but at the young woman standing in front of him. “Truthfully I have since we met, but you obviously like Harrington and now you’re with him every day. You won’t have time to see me soon and I just-” “Billy” She tried to stop him, which caught his attention. “Steve’s my friend, we would never be anything more than that. You have to know that.” (Y/N) said, her eyes meeting his for the first time in over a week. “God- you didn’t upset me because you ignored me for a week just because we’re friends, I’ve had friends go longer than that and not talk to me.” She said, much to his confusion.

“I don’t understand, (Y/N).” Billy said and she sighed, before going to sit on the couch, him following suit and sitting next to her. “Billy, when we started becoming friends every single person I was friends with said it was a bad idea because they didn’t see the true you, but I did.” (Y/N) started, trying to figure out how you wanted to phrase her ords. “But some of them disapproved because they could tell that I liked you… um… romantically.” She said, causing Billy’s eyes to light up. “I wasn’t upset because you were a distant friend, I was upset because I thought you didn’t want me, because we hadn’t slept together so I thought you just didn’t want to be with me, not even as a friend.” She said, but she knew she needed to continue upon seeing the hurt in his eyes. “I let their words get to me, Billy. I-I’m sorry.” (Y/N) said, waiting for his response.

“Can I kiss you?” Billy asked, after a moment of processing (Y/N)’s words. Her eyes widened, but her response was quick. “Yes.” She said before he pulled her into a kiss. It was surprisingly soft and sweet, however, there was clear underlying passion. “Billy Hargrove, will you be my boyfriend?” (Y/N) asked as they pulled away, and he quickly nodded. “Yes, but only if you let me take you out to dinner tomorrow night after you finish your shift.” To which she responded with an immediate yes.

[bigskydreaming]

A good description. For my part, I don't like talking about it because of my own experiences. I can, however, see Batman, a story where nearly every memorable villain and even the protagonist himself is a Svengali, could attract a disproportionate number of rape apologists, though fandom is full of them. (Oh, hey, that's the other thing with Jason. Talia.)

Ugh I’m so sorry to hear you can relate, and I totally understand not wanting to talk about it. I have no idea what your particular situation is, obviously, but I also want to reiterate since its been awhile since I’ve mentioned this part.....I don’t feel any like....basically, my choice to talk about this stuff is simply put, MY choice, made for my own reasons, that aren’t a reflection on any other survivor. There are a million and one reasons NOT to come forward, or to struggle with it or not to be open about what happened to us, and none of them are a reflection on any of us, but rather the position it puts us in.

Again, I don’t know your situation or what gender you might be or anything else, and this isn’t at all because your ask made me feel defensive or anything like that. This is just something I’ve wanted to put into words for awhile now seems relevant today, and here’s as good a place as any to put it down:

For myself, being a male survivor....like, there’s never really been any getting around the existence of that kinda, idk, caveat that not many male survivors come forward. Sure, we all see the posts and tweets reminding “remember, men can be raped too!” But that’s not the same thing as men sharing their stories and experiences the way far more women have come forward. And that’s why I ultimately began talking about my own experiences in order to express how I felt about my own positioning in society and how as a survivor I interact and am interacted with by others. Because frankly, there wasn’t anywhere else I could really look to in order to see others talking or sharing about similar things and see myself reflected in what they were saying or the experiences they were describing. So, if I couldn’t find what I felt I needed or could have benefited from, I figured at least I could put it out there in case anyone else who could relate could benefit from mine.

Except, ultimately I’ve come to feel that I honestly don’t believe its that men just flat out don’t come forward with their stories or experiences, its that even when we do, we’re rarely signal boosted - as you can kinda see from the fact that I can post the most inane shit and get it to a thousand notes, but in the five plus years I’ve been making posts about this subject, I’m lucky if I can get a single post on the topic to double digits as far as notes go.

People just flat out are a combination of uncomfortable with the novelty of actual discussions about and around male survivors as well as being not really sure how to talk about it because we’ve never really developed the tools for it.

And to be 100% clear, this has NOTHING to do with female survivors, as a point of comparison or ANYTHING else. It drives me up a fucking WALL when people try and compare and contrast even just how much men being raped is talked about vs women being raped, no matter WHAT their reasons are, because I promise people, I PROMISE - NO survivor, of any gender, has EVER benefitted from being pitted against other survivors to ANY degree. Its not a zero sum game and it doesn’t help male survivors to pull shit like “well at least female survivors are acknowledged” because a) eww, and b) nobody asked anyone to say that on our behalf, and c) hyper-visibility isn’t a privilege (or whatever the best parallel to that might be, I’m not trying to appropriate an anti-blackness specific term so much as its the closest comparison I have at the moment for something that isn’t even a matter of marginalized identities but rather marginalized experiences) and d) its COMPLETELY beside the point and actually misses the point by a WIDE margin.

Because what I’ve come to realize over the years, from my own experiences and talking and sharing with survivors of all genders and demographics and walks of life, is that first off....nobody really needs the reminder that hey, men can be raped too. We see it happen all throughout entertainment and other aspects of society, its not an experience that’s hidden away from the light, its just not ever really CALLED what it is, or followed up on, and talked about.

Like Dick Grayson isn’t a statistical outlier in media. Take Horrible Bosses, a summer blockbuster comedy a few years back with a cast of fairly big name comedians, and whose running B plot throughout the whole movie was Jennifer Aniston’s character wanting to rape her employee, Charlie Day’s character. Not only was this not objectionable to audiences in any sizable way, not only did this never really get called out as wtf by critics and reviews, the movie was successful enough to warrant a sequel with even BIGGER names in its cast, like Christopher Pine, and the continuation of the Aniston’s character trying to rape Charlie Day’s subplot. With zero awareness. And its not like that’s the only movie. There’s plenty more I could name.

Or then you’ve got television, where like, take Riverdale, a well-promoted, well known CW show....whose first few episodes featured the lead character Archie in a sexual relationship with his much older female teacher. Except not really a relationship, because that’s textbook, no debate, literal statutory rape.....that ended with Archie’s character being condemned for it as though he were on equal footing with the teacher, who ultimately left town, and it never really acknowledged that he was literally a victim of statutory rape, that any teacher who does that is not an equal partner but a predator. I stopped watching the show for a lot of reasons by like the fourth episode, but I see enough gifs on tumblr to know that several seasons later, this left little enough impact that some kind of Archie-goes-to-jail plotline has resulted in more memes and jokes about prison rape than I can count, and zero awareness that people are compounding jokes about a character who is literally already an unacknowledged survivor.

That’s one. Or you can take Once Upon A Time, a popular ABC show of multiple seasons, and the running subplot where Robin Hood’s character is raped by the Wicked Witch literally the same way Dick was by Mirage in the comics. She shapeshifts into Maid Marian, who ends up dead, and has ‘sex’ with Robin Hood (no, she rapes him) and ends up pregnant. Not only is this never really called what it is, later on, other characters LITERALLY CHEW HIM OUT for objecting to this baby being left in the care of her mother, aka his rapist, and for ‘not being willing to give her the benefit of the doubt/let her change’ as though him not wanting to co-parent with his rapist is no different from any of the show’s other dubious redemption storylines....except for the fact that this particular part of her redemption arc isn’t ever really one she actually needs redeeming for, because nobody ever fucking points out that she literally raped him and he was her victim. Fast forward to the end of the series, Robin Hood’s been dead for seasons, the Wicked Witch is happily redeemed and has a loving wholesome relationship with her daughter, named after Robin Hood like they were some kind of loving, happy family instead of a rapist, her victim, and the child that was born of it.

Or you can take Grimm, a fairly successful NBC show of multiple seasons WHICH LITERALLY DID THE EXACT SAME THING. The main character Nick was raped in season two by the antagonist of the time, who shape shifted into his wife and had ‘sex’ with him, with him not realizing the truth until later on, by which point she’s pregnant with his child. Fast forward to the end of the show, not only was this never really called what it was, his wife’s character was killed off seasons earlier and he is now, get this, ‘happily’ in a romantic and sexual longterm relationship with his rapist (who he by now knows exactly what she did do and what happened between them and just.....got over it without ever actually like, reacting to it)....and oh yeah, not only are they raising the child born of it together, they’ve had a second child since then.

Anyone ever hear much outcry about the male rapes in these shows? And again, like Horrible Bosses, tip of the iceberg. There’s a LOT more shows I could name, just like there are movies.

Or take comics. Its not even just Dick Grayson that’s a survivor. Or Bruce. Or Jason as you pointed out, which......I know a lot of people ignore both Morrison AND Winick’s take on Talia in order to not write her as the rapist she is in their stories, which I can totally understand as she was a well-established character of color for long before either of them got their hands on her and its perfectly valid for people not to want to have to write her as being tarnished as a rapist because two different writers wrote her that way....without.....either of them ever really acknowledging that was literally how they were writing her. I myself write her as a character of complicated and often dubious morality, but never a rapist, for that reason and many others, but its definitely there. And even in a fandom that has never lacked for acknowledgment of Dick being a survivor whose rapists were women.....a LOT of people still romanticize Jason’s ‘relationship’ with Talia as being something other than a grown woman taking advantage of a minor in an extremely vulnerable and compromised state.....with a TON of other takes out there about the two of them, in posts and fics alike, where its somehow danced around or outright called something other than “that time Talia raped Jason in the comics.”

But its not just the Batbooks. Its like how I’ve mentioned in the past, Garth Ennis wrote into one of his storylines that Kyle Rayner was raped when he went to Gotham one time.....not to make it a plot point, but to use it as a JOKE. Or take Marvel comics, Bobby Drake, one of my other all-time favorite characters....who is also a rape survivor of multiple occasions, without it ever acknowledged as such. Like, he was briefly in a relationship with Mystique, who turned out to have entered the relationship under false pretenses, shocking, and who used having sex with him to depower him and take him out of the upcoming fight between the X-Men and the Marauders, which...we don’t have time to unpack all that right now. But fast forward about a year later, and Bobby has since gotten back together with his ex-girlfriend Opal Tanaka.....who, it turns out, is actually just Mystique in disguise, having sex with him again without it ever being called rape since he was consenting to sex with Opal, not the woman who slept with him that one time just to make sure he was helpless to stop a whole lot of people from getting killed. But hey, forget about Mystique! How about that time Chuck Austen wrote him ‘having sex’ with an empath who was EXPLICITLY noted in the narrative as using her powers to manipulate his emotions to even WANT to have sex with her in the first place, and when an issue later it comes out she’s married and her husband starts beating up Bobby for ‘sleeping with his wife’ all the other characters present, all of them friends and teammates of his, condemn Bobby for this without it ever being acknowledged that he was literally manipulated into it by a superpower and he was the victim.

Again. Tip. Of. The. Iceberg.

But you see what I mean? Male rape isn’t an outlier and it isn’t an unknown....its everywhere! Its just.....never called that, really, and never really talked about, even by people who normally would, except for the fact that I don’t think we as a society have ever really forced ourselves to FIND a way to talk about it, because of the fact that like.....the very notion of it threatens and undermines the essence of the patriarchal beliefs that are hammered into us all from day one. Even when we know the patriarchy is crap, we still have so much ingrained in us from early childhood that stuff like this, which is a blatant symptom of it even if not one aimed primarily at disadvantaging women.....like, it slips under the radar because its never fully called out or spotlighted in loud enough or widely enough ways to keep us from overlooking how much its impacted our POVs.

Blatantly put, the patriarchy and sexism RELIES on the idea that men are somehow more powerful/stronger/whatthefuckever than women. And male victims - of abuse as well as rape, though definitely rape.....like, even just a widespread awareness of our existence is enough to kinda destabilize that belief that is so foundational to the patriarchy its DEPENDENT on it being upheld as unassailable truth.

Because if forced to acknowledge that men are just as vulnerable to even something like rape as anyone else in the ‘right’ situations or dynamics, it forces confrontation with the reality that no matter what the patriarchy has claimed for as long as its existed.....men aren’t inherently any more powerful, or stronger, or resistant to harm/humiliation/VICTIMIZATION as anyone else.

And the patriarchy flat out can’t afford that confrontation, so it can’t afford to acknowledge male survivors.

Again, just want to be beyond clear - nowhere here am I okay with making this about a compare and contrast between the experiences and interactions society has with male survivors and around male rape, and the same with female survivors and rape. Because I mean, we all should be more than aware that society as a whole sucks at the acknowledgment, addressing and handling of rape in any context, in any of the ways it comes up as a topic, in terms of any survivor who comes forward no matter who or when or how.....like. We suck at this topic, and at any and all discussions about this topic. Period. Flat out. So when I say the patriarchy can’t afford to acknowledge male survivors, I am in no way aiming to diminish the reality that it does just as fucking an abyssmal job at acknowledging and responding to female survivors....the point here is not the poor reception any and all survivors receive to disclosing their experiences in our society, but rather the specific why of this when it comes to male survivors just as the particular subject of focus here.

And again, like, my only credentials here are just like. My life experiences, lol. I’m not trying to claim anything more or other than that, make no mistake. I’m a literal college drop out, this is not the result of comprehensive studies or vetted by the scientific method. This is literally just “like, my opinion, man” and makes no pretenses at being other than that. Its just the conclusions I’ve formed over the years and why, completely anecdotal and not aiming to be any kind of authoritative or expert viewpoint with my personal take here. Largely because I haven’t really found anywhere that I feel the conversation has proceeded enough in earnest that its even at a point that would ALLOW for that yet. So this is all more just.....my feel of things, and why, as just kinda idk, hopefully a starting point for further ACTUAL exploration of all this. My attempts at starting the kind of conversation I feel we need to be having in order to be at all productive instead of just constantly spinning around in circles, which is what it so often feels like.

So when I say I think the patriarchy can’t honestly AFFORD to acknowledge male survivors specifically, I’m not positing some grand conspiracy or active cover-up.

Because nothing like that is even necessary.

Its built into the framework of the system itself. Its not that I believe anyone goes out of their way to “hide” male survivors from anyone, I’m saying there’s no need. Because its been so ingrained into us from such a young age and in so many ways, most of us never even think to question whether anything is even being hidden, or if its just as simple as, well men don’t really come forward, because their pride and self-esteem is so impacted by what happened to them, due to the expectations heaped on men by the patriarchy.

Its kinda stunning, actually. Even while ACKNOWLEDGING that the patriarchy does impact male survivors in ways as well, we’re kinda....led away from the ACTUAL ways and ACTUAL reasons why....because despite literally calling the patriarchy out as the bad guy in this way, it still manages to weasel itself out of this confrontation by virtue of the fact that you can’t ever really effectively address a problem when you’re being misdirected to a tangent that’s not really the REAL problem that needs addressing.

So personally, I’m of the belief that its not that men just don’t ever really come forward. Its that even when some do, like myself, we can scream our heads off for years and it just echoes into the void, because its not being heard in the ways we need to be heard in order to effectively....signalboost our stories and experiences and needs. Much like I just mentioned above, its misdirection......everybody’s too focused on addressing an issue that doesn’t actually NEED solving (ie, reminding everyone/promoting awareness that men too, CAN be raped), and thus at least feeling productive, feeling like they’re contributing to tackling the problem.....that meanwhile, the ACTUAL problem (men CAN be raped too, and are, and here are men talking about it only for the signal to get lost and fizzle out rather than get boosted)....it flies right under the radar.

Because in line with what I said earlier about how it does no good to compare our experiences, both in terms of assault and our lives in the aftermath, with women survivors - its because its apples and oranges.

Rape isn’t a gendered issue, because it can happen to anyone of any gender, at any time....its situational. Dependent on context. Rape culture, however, IS a gendered issue.

Because rape culture, how our society INTERACTS with the very idea of abuse and rape and its victims and perpetrators....spills out entirely from that core foundation of the patriarchy and sexism, and thus much like those things themselves, how it affects women survivors is always going to be totally different from how it affects men who are survivors. Our experiences are not interchangeable - that has nothing to do with being better or worse, more publicized or less, etc, etc. They just....manifest different ways. The cause of our trauma-related problems might be the same thing, but the problems it creates for us are not, and none of us can ever really benefit from it being treated as a one size fits all kinda deal, nor is it to our benefit to treat it like there’s only so much conversation about the topic available to go around.

What I mean here is, like I said, the patriarchy at the foundation of our society can’t afford for it to be widely acknowledged that men can be victimized too.

But it can’t actually stop this from happening, given that its basis for saying it never happens is an inherent uneven-ness that only exists because it made it exist, not because like....we’re innately born uneven.

So....it had to come up with a narrative, a response, for when men DID step forward and say hey, I too was abused. I was raped. Etc.

And it did.

As a result, a lot of women don’t come forward because they fear not being believed, with reason. And this is true for a lot of men as well, just as the following is true for a lot of women too....

Which is that IMO the bigger reason/more immediate reason a lot of men don’t come forward, is that our concern isn’t so much that we won’t be believed....

Its that we will be believed, but rather than this getting us the help we need or the justice we ask for, it only ever really creates more problems for us, due to the patriarchy’s go-to fix-it job for this situation:

Paint the male victim as being not so much a victim as a victimizer-in-training.

See, the lie that men are innately more powerful, stronger, more ‘deserving’ of being in charge can’t afford the admittance than men are also vulnerable, can be victimized, taken advantage of.....

But it CAN afford the idea that men can be abused/raped/etc with this going on to eventually result in us becoming abusers/rapists/victimizers ourselves in the future, as long as THIS is kept the clear focus and emphasis of the narrative.

Because after all, there’s nothing in the idea that we all inevitably take out our pain (whatever it may come from) on others that contradicts the idea that we’re stronger, more powerful, etc.

And its not like the patriarchy and its supporters give a shit if this throws even other men under the bus, because the only thing institutions and systems of power actually care about is POWER.

They’re not our friend, even if in a different life, we could have ended up wielding more of that power than we do in this one. Even if we do in other aspects of our lives gain social and other forms of power more easily/with less obstacles than other people.

They only care what we can do for them, to spread that power, perpetuate it, preserve it....so just like white supremacy will happily screw over poor white people and America doesn’t give a shit about its prison population and the LGBTQ+ community so often ignores the issues of its members of color and so on.....the patriarchy is more than willing to make male survivors from any and all groups and communities take the hit it has no intention of taking by letting it be confirmed its built on sand and bullshit.

So just as much as we’re ingrained from early childhood with the idea that men can’t be victimized the way others can, the linked lesson we’re taught is that men who have been hurt badly or in certain ways will almost certainly end up hurting others.....

With the implicit acknowledgment that there was just an admittance that we can be hurt badly/in certain ways ending up just swiftly glossed over. As the focus is instead kept on the harm done to our hypothetical future victims.

Because the easiest way to keep someone from being sympathetic, is to give people someone else to sympathize with MORE. To give people reason to feel a person doesn’t even deserve your sympathy in the first place.

And so now think about not how often we see men victimized by abuse and rape in media, or how often we see men portrayed as survivors and yes, victims of these things.....

Think instead of how often in media we see men who victimize others, who are the antagonists, the villains, the serial killer/rapist/abuser of the week.......and with it offhandedly being dropped into a scene and then never really focused on again, that these men were almost always said to have been abused or raped or victimized in the past....and this is the REASON for why they all ended up doing what they did.

Suddenly, the numbers go up, don’t they? The second you think about it from THAT angle?

Its just....the reason that angle literally exists to the extent it does in society and the messages we’re fed, the entertainment we’re given.....is because that’s the POINT.

Because its natural for us not to think of any of those men as victims when by the time we find that part out, we’ve already internalized our view of them as victimizers, and solidly put our sympathies with their victims in the present. Because what was done to them in the past doesn’t excuse what they do to others in the present. Being hurt doesn’t give you carte blanche to hurt others. We all know this. Hence....WHY IT WORKS.

Except, this isn’t actually a reflection of reality. The myth of the perpetual cycle of abuse is just that, a myth. Oh, it happens, certainly. With men, with women, quite probably more often with men than women, not much doubt about that....

But its not that it happens, we’re told. That’s not the issue here.

Its that we’re pretty much told it ALWAYS happens. Its always GOING to happen. That there’s no real point in sympathizing with a male victim who is most likely going to end up victimizing someone else in the future and thus he’s not really gonna deserve your sympathy at that point, will he? Which makes him not really worth wasting it on him in the first place. Makes it easy to come up with something to focus on more instead of his story or experiences, something just as deserving of your focus or sympathy, but that you’re less likely to end up regretting in the future like you would if a male survivor you sympathized with now ends up in the news five years down the line for having hurt someone else.

Because over centuries and generations the idea of male survivors at all has been cultivated into having this almost mythic quality, there’s just enough subtle feeling of wrongness around the very idea of it, like, that it just doesn’t quite make sense...that it ends up being almost a relief to give our minds a reason, an explanation for why they don’t have to come up with a way to adjust the paradigm there, to make room for that idea, realign a worldview into one where there’s a specific spot for male survivors much like any other subject that needs focusing on or evaluating for whatever reason.

And this point, this conclusion that no matter how tragic what happened to make a male survivor was, it will only ever ultimately end up in the same spot, with him later on passing along the harm, a warped kind of paying it forward....this is hammered home over and over. We see it everywhere, without even often realizing what it is we’re seeing and internalizing, like with the examples I cited of all the times men are raped in entertainment without it being called that. Its the flip side of that....the times that men are raped in entertainment with it being called that, but swiftly moved past that to introduce the reason not to care that that’s what it was we just saw.

And thus throughout several seasons of Law & Order: SVU we’ve had male survivors, usually teens, who at first seemed eminently sympathetic for what had been done to them.....but who by the end of the episodes, ended up becoming school shooters exacting revenge on their bullies. Or ended up killing the coach who raped them in high school and then went on to rape a dozen others. Or in the last scene of the episode is found kneeling over their abusive father’s corpse with blood on their hands and the detectives standing over them in sadness that now they had to take the boy they thought was the victim away to jail as the victimizer he didn’t have to end up becoming.

Except.....he only becomes that because they make the choice to write him becoming it! Every single time!

Like in 13 Reasons Why, where another male survivor ends up....another school shooter. Or in Criminal Minds, where pretty much every single killer throughout the series ended up with a backstory of abuse and rape and victimization as a child, making it ‘all the more tragic’ and with the protagonists often literally using the phrase “almost like the guy never had a chance.”

Well no, they didn’t. Not when it was written to BE that way.

And then we see the idea root and take hold in audiences. And spread and perpetuated. Validated.

Its why I hate the woobification thing in fandoms, where fans of (white) villain characters fill in their backstory for themselves with all the REASONS they are the way they are, and with the reasons never being that they’re just a sadistic entitled asshole, but because they were hurt. They were abused as a child, they were raped offscreen, the heroes said mean things about them in the burn book once and that’s why they just had to kill the hero’s whole family, see.

And everything comes full circle.....not only is it that all male victims are destined to end up victimizers....its equally true that all male victimizers must have once been male victims. Even if we didn’t see it onscreen or on the page.

Except, and why I loathe that fandom tendency.....

THAT NARRATIVE IS NOT AN INEVITABILITY AND NEVER WAS! The end point and point of origin presented there are NOT innately set in stone!

And all that does is just validate and accept as truth the LIE that patriarchal society puts forth in order to play smoke and mirrors with this one specific facet of human experiences that innately possesses the potential to destabilize the lie at the very rock bottom foundation of everything the patriarchy’s ever built at everyone else’s expense. The reason it offers up for why its not only allowable, its for the best that we look elsewhere from any male victims that actually step forward and say hey, can you all listen to me for a second, I want to tell you what happened to me.

And the fun irony of THIS aspect of things is if you think this woobification fandom thing benefits male survivors as a whole in some way or another, like the tendency of fans to find even villainous victimizers sympathetic means that they can and do sympathize just as much with actual male victims.....I’m fairly certain it doesn’t.

See, because with villains in fandom......this retroactive sympathy for imagined past traumas happens to only the characters that fandom has already decided they liked DESPITE the awful things they’ve done. Its made up to be used as an excuse instead of an explanation....

And like we all know damn well, even if we don’t always admit it or like to acknowledge it....

Explanations are not actually excuses. The harm you do can not be wiped away by the harm done to you.

So, because that’s still inside of us, our awareness of that, even if its ignored on the surface while defending hot white villains or whatever.....it doesn’t actually give anyone reason to ignore the narrative our society constructs around actual male survivors who it encourages people to condemn or ignore on the basis of purely hypothetical FUTURE abuses or wrongdoings.

And after all, you can’t actually decide you can look past the harms a person enacts and still view them as sympathetic if....you don’t actually know yet what those harms are going to end up being and thus whether you can make your peace with them, can you?

You just know that harms WILL be done, so....might as well err on the side of caution and assume they won’t be forgivable when deciding here and now to be thrifty with sympathies and spread any actionable effort taken on behalf of survivors in areas where those sympathies are more likely to be put to better use.

And yeah, all of this plays into why I focus so much on certain aspects of Dick’s narratives, and they usually AREN’T the rapes themselves.

Because for me, for many other male survivors I know......

Acknowledging those happened, examining how he felt when those happened....its not the biggest issue. Just like in our own lives, having it acknowledged or known what was done to us, having to face how it made us feel....that’s not really our primary concern.

Its what happens AFTER that.

How people view us and treat us AFTER their initial sympathies, whatever they are, dry up - which, we’re given reason to believe, they always inevitably will.

Because it isn’t all that different from what I frequently complain of happening with Dick in fandom, and hell, its WHY it bothers me so much, because its literally been a recurrent theme throughout my life:

The most widely acknowledged male survivor in comics, just also happens to coincidentally be....

The character most often spun as having a wicked temper, being almost irrationally angry at times, with his temper being likened to things like an eruption, an earthquake, a NATURAL DISASTER....something to be avoided at all costs, something the other characters fear, with good reason, but also impossible to avoid, because its too intrinsic to his nature. Its an inevitability. Dick Grayson WILL erupt or explode again at some point, and its going to be ugly. Like he’s a time bomb.

Even though....as I frequently go in depth on.....Dick’s never actually been shown as having particularly poor self-control either on just its own merits or specifically in comparison to others. He doesn’t really actually HAVE a track record of taking out his own hurts on others. On giving people REASON to be afraid of his temper even while they continue to take no responsibility for giving him reasons to be angry at all.

Its why I so often emphasize the discrepancy between the fact that whatever someone’s own personal character preferences, the FACT remains that Dick Grayson is the character in this family that most often bears the BRUNT of everyone ELSE’S anger.......just as the fact equally remains that Dick Grayson is still ultimately the character most often singled out in posts and headcanons and fanfics as unleashing his temper on others in unjustifable ways and usually without actual provocation.

None of this is a coincidence to me.

Its how we see over and over again that its okay for Dick Grayson to be angry FOR others, ON others’ behalf....its just when he’s angry FOR HIMSELF, for being taken advantage of, ignored, walked all over or mistreated....that’s when his anger is unjustified. Irrational.

Dangerous.

Or you guys know that one fanon about how Dick forces his hugs on his siblings, and his displays of physical affection are often unwanted, and thus violations?

Yeah, that one hits me right in the Issues too, because again, that’s not remotely supported by anything in canon....there has NEVER been an instance of Dick’s family asking him to cut it our or feeling like......IMPOSED upon because he likes to hug his family.

Its not to say people can’t feel that way about even well-meaning displays of physical affection that aren’t cleared with them first....

Its that this is something that people had to DECIDE to make a thing with Dick and his family. To actually craft the narrative that the many-times victim of unwanted touching was effectively violating his family’s wishes and boundaries every time he hugs them without being asked or invited to.

With that number being however many times a writer wants to write him doing when highlighting it as a violation.

And is this a thing we really see with any other character? Is my question there. How often do you see literally any other character being chewed out or resented for....hugging?

Just the one character most known for giving physical affection freely with his FAMILY and close friends.....

Who just so happens to also be the one character most often the guy who has his bodily autonomy violated.

The canon rape survivor has literally had HUGS weaponzed against him.

With the end result being.....every time he does it, every time this pings on a reader’s radar as Bad and Unwelcome....the linked takeaway is its one more reason for that reader to then ask themselves....well if he doesn’t care whether other people want him touching them, why should I care when he doesn’t want people touching him either?

Which ultimately just winds up another form of: why should I feel bad if bad things happened to someone who isn’t really that great of a person?

See what I mean?

Its all connected. Its not me getting frustrated with a bunch of different random things, its all the same thing at the end of the day, all so often traceable back to the same places.

I couldn’t untangle myself from so much of this and how it impacts me and my view of things even if I wanted to, to such an extent that in the end, want really has very little to do with it.

(And uh, you think those bug the shit out of me, let me tell you about just the very SIGHT of all those fics where Dick the widely acknowledged, perhaps best known male rape victim in comics.....is a rapist himself. Because yeah....even if people like to keep their incest light and fluffy or sweet instead of predatory, to someone who is y’know, personally familiar with all of this, Dick and ANY of his younger brothers is never going to appear as anything BUT predatory. As yet one more time where the linear journey of a male survivor all the way to the final evolution into male predator is born out and treated as so matter-of-fact, so inevitable, it hardly warrants noting as anything especially obscene or gross to write about a character famous for his survivor status. And its not like Dick is actually the only character in the franchise I like, so its not like its any better when its Jason painted as the aggressor in a fic, for instance....and while I will always be hugely critical of how Bruce is written as abusive in canon, that’s a wildly different thing from sexually preying on his sons so again, seeing him as his own sons’ rapists is yet again more upsetting than most people would think without connecting Bruce’s own status as a canon rape survivor, whether we like that story or not.....and plugging it into again, this pre-programmed route traveling from survivor to predator, over and over again. Victim to victimizer. Like clockwork.)

Anyway, my point is not to harp on this but rather to just lay it out there in this way. And how it plays into so much of my own personal approach to dealing with all of this when it comes up.......because the simple fact is I have to, there is no opt-out lol, and it comes up a lot, in large part because its so easy t reframe as being something else that most people who don’t have direct experience being directly impacted by all of this in its various myriad expressions are understandably not going to see it pinging on their radar and getting logged into their awareness the way it always does in mine.

*Shrugs* It is what it is. Its there. Avoiding it has never done me any favors, so.......as I so often demonstrate in a variety of degrees of Hmm Probably Coulda Done That Better, lol, I try and deal with things head-on and adjust as needed.

Easier said than done, not always pulled off, never any guarantee that I’m going about things the right way, just that like.....

There’s problems that need addressing that stem from all of this, and I know where mine lie and put a lot, a LOT of effort into addressing them and keeping an eye on them and not letting them get the better of me.

But the flipside of paying that close attention and that much means I’m also keenly aware of when and where I couldn’t take responsibility even if I wanted to, because the responsibility literally just isn’t mine to take....because yeah, I live in a society but guess what, so does everyone else, and its the same damn society, so  at the end of the day, no matter HOW well or not I go about handling the matter of my rapes and their overall impact and shaping of my life.....that’s just me handling the rape part of things.

The rape culture? And how THAT affects and informs every survivor’s life in whatever way it does going forward?

That’s kinda.....only ever going to be improved upon or not, on like....a cultural scale. That’s a society thing. Not a survivor thing.

Because we are all shaped by our cultures, every aspect of our cultures, and this one is unfortunately no different. But, its shaped by us too.

But to actually shape it INTO something, or more accurately, to shape it into LESS of what it is, blunt some of its edges, lessen some of its ability to do harm to survivors, to compound the harm already done.....

Something like THAT requires intent. Conscious effort.

And intent requires like....first being able to SEE what problems need addressing.

And that’s kiiiiinda the whole point of survivors coming forward when so rarely, so MINUTELY does it EVER result in actionable justice for that individual survivor.

And I don’t for a second believe a single one ever believes or assumes otherwise.

Cuz its super not fun. It never like......I don’t fucking know how it looks to other people, tbh, because I’ve literally been a survivor since before I even really knew that I was being abused or molested, that there was something I was surviving....but trust me, I’ve thought about it, I’ve wondered, and I don’t know if like, people think a survivor ‘telling their story’ is somehow an equivalent of like, getting a book deal or something, there’s the attention it brings after all, and isn’t there that saying that no publicity is bad publicity.....

LOL. Yeah. Umm. Just saying, if you don’t have personal experience as a survivor having come forward or shared openly about your experiences, let me refer you to another saying as counterpoint: Don’t believe everything you hear.

Cuz that’s definitely not one anyone else ever forgets when ‘listening’ to any of us.

Anyway, wrapping this up by bringing it back to like.....my extremely evident mood and irration of this past week.....this is ALL connected, this is ALL part and parcel of every single time this comes up as an issue for me and its never less of one at one time than it is at another, its never a little easier this time because this reason or that....its always the same damn frustration every single time. Stuff like this doesn’t get doled out in manageable portions, its all or nothing. Its either a problem right this current second or its not, and if its not, that’s only until the next time its a problem again, likely sooner rather than later.

And that’s the part that makes me talk about this as much as I do, and get as frustrated as I do when people just do not seem to get.....

I don’t have an off switch on this matter because there IS no off switch for me. The times I get frustrated and vent about this stuff are actually only at MOST a TENTH of how often it rears its head for me to deal with.....the times my reactions or responses boil over into public view, into something you guys see, or ‘have to deal with’ are literally just the times where there is no keeping a lid on it because the pot was already full to start with.

And so it really. Epically. Beyoooooond doesn’t help matters, when despite being the only male survivor I’m aware of being consistently vocal on the matter in the only fandom I know of where a prominant male character is almost universally acknowledged as a survivor....

I usually only ever hear the response:

“Mmmmmm, I’m not really sure what makes you think there’s a problem here and that it has anything to do with us, when see, I don’t agree, and I don’t really see why you think your opinion on the matter of how this particular character is written about and viewed and depicted interacting with others and how fandom interacts with him, is like.....of any kind of real relevance? This is just like....your opinion, man.”

Me: ........have I ever claimed for a second it wasn’t? Didn’t I use those exact words at least once in all of this already?

fahsklhfaklhflakfhalffha

Cuz for the record, ultimately, that’s what this all boils down to. I’ve wanted to post about this stuff for awhile now, but make no mistake:

It literally is all just my opinion? Formed of my own personal experiences and the conclusions I’ve taken away from them. Laid out as fully and extensively as I can manage, specifically SO people can take all of that into context when deciding for themselves how much weight or not to GIVE my opinion......

In which case, y’know, the experiences I have with this matter and how they correlate to these opinions, like, have contextual relevance and seem necessary to include.

Its NOT because I’m trying to use them to browbeat everyone into agreeing with me because I think I’m the only one whose opinion matters here, lol.

No. Just that like....it DOES matter? And its kinda exhausting when people act like all of this is arbitrary and abstract to me, that its some kind of superiority complex or me moralizing from a pulpit or some shit when I’m literally saying none of it is abstract or arbitrary to me, and the louder I say that, the more people THEN say “oh so basically your opinion is the only one that matters here unless we disclose the same kind of experiences or background huh?”

*headdesk*

I just.....it seems my stance is either born of self-righteousness and nothing personal whatsoever....unless I make enough of a fuss about how that’s NOT true, in which case my stance is that apparently I think I’m the only one who is allowed to have an opinion here because I’ve made such a point about it being personal.

But its definitely not that people are just determined to invalidate anything I have to say on this subject one way or another, right?

Anyway.

So all of that’s like...whatever that was. Make of it what you guys will, but I do hope that at least for some people whom it might be a new perspective or new information to, you’ll consider asking why is it that in a fandom that prominently features a canon male survivor whose survivorhood is so frequently denoted as a key and critical part of his character....someone like me, who is frequently cited as a resource on many, many other kinds of meta about Dick Grayson......seems to have more people interested in discouraging me from ever expounding on my own experiences in this matter and any correlations I see between those and Dick’s experiences and narratives, than there are people interested in like......utilizing me as the freaking resource on male survivor experiences and viewpoints that I’ve literally been out here offering to be from day one....specifically BECAUSE of how rarely men are viewed as coming forward and being open about our shit here.

*Shrugs*

Just food for thought.