#WHY ARE WE SELF CENSORING NORMAL ASS WORDS

[plaguedocboi]

I just saw someone censor the word Death in a screenshot on Instagram

[medicinemane]

Unrelated to any of this, related to youtube... just fucking say period

If someone not able to handle having a period discussed openly they're a weeny and I don't think they deserve respect

Like it's one thing not to talk about it but like... no one should be having to use euphemisms about "girl stuff", like just come out and say it and have a discussion, especially when all that was being said was "I'm extra tired cause of my period"

Like it's some "unalive" bullshit, ya dig?

Say what you want to say and use the words we have about it to say it. People are killed, periods exist, just... just fucking say things. Like, I don't mind the occasional euphemism, I mind it being the default to... I don't even know if it's to please the advertisers or what, but it's just like fucking... fucking say stuff

Say you killed a man and then shit all over him, like have the nerve to say bold and graphic statements, especially when like... that statement I just made does nothing cause it didn't happen. It's just words, it's just words that I pulled out of my ass as something crass

Feel free to choose what you want to talk about, you'll notice that's not something I'd normally say... but I can say it, I'm capable of it, I'm not so self censored that I'm limited in how I talk or what I talk about

Example, I choose not to share details of russian war crimes because these are horrific real world things and I'm too lazy to tag. That's a choice on my part. I at most usually leave it up to the reader to piece together the horrors that russian soldiers preform so that if they don't want to they're not forced to; if they're not up to dealing with it I'm not placing it on their plate

But I do have the words for it. I'm choosing what I share because of the space I'm in and how I interact with it, but I'm capable of it

(You have to understand that "carved a swastika into the forehead of a Ukrainian POW" is... and I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's one of the milder atrocities russian soldiers have committed, so that's why I choose not to spell out the full details of the barbaric torture and brutality since I'm not tagging stuff. You can perhaps see why I pick the scope of my words... but at least I actually know all the words I'd like to say instead of replacing it with jibberish like "5 Ukrainians were unalived in recent russian missile strike")

I don't know, just get real tired of people giving in to companies when it comes to being dictated what they can or can't say though... once again, is period stuff about companies or about... about audience or business partners or... or what? You know?

All the same, I think it sucks I think it's stupid that I saw someone clearly feeling like just saying "I'm tired because of my period" but sitting their thinking of euphemisms till they came up with "girl stuff"

Like you get why that sucks, right?

[nagy-bari]

ramble on humor and anger

i get angry for the wrong reasons. at least it feels like it.

permanent stain on my skirt that i planned to wear for the whole trip on day one? ehh, imma mention it at the end of the day and figure out some other combos to wear tomorrow and the days left.

accidentally broke my favorite cup? yep, i was clumsy, my fault, could have happened sooner or later, it was beautiful while it lasted.

someone jokes about fandom takes not meeting their taste/expectation threatening to send those people to the gulag? now i'm angry and annoyed.

cause i dunno about american teaching and school and mandatory celebration of anything related to ww1 or ww2, but here we have 2 national holiday about fighting for independence (both revolution were crushed by the russians, one in 1849 and one under the soviets in 1956) so we have school celebrations where we play out these stories, or stories connected to them, or just invite a survivor of that time (ww2 and 1956) and they tell you what it was like to live under the soviets.

so when the topic or historical age comes up my mind is filled with (reasonably) censored stories on how people behaved in these camps and why did they get into them. how they survived and lived after that. not all of them tells their stories, not everyone is comfortable with sharing, but the ones i heard were about remaining a decent person so you don't fall into self hatered and how to have hope. hope that this madness is temporary. cause humans are wonderful at surviving.

so this is why i'm annoyed at a simple silly joke like 'to the gulag with you' cause it was a reality of my culture, of my family. and it feels off coming from someone who will never be neighbours with the russians by land.

but the anger part is also there cause i cannot get angry over simple stuff, my mind just gets angry at emotional and human things.

like humor. this could be called a simple black humored joke and i could be the stupid one not understanding it. and it is true, i don't get it most of the time.

i come from a culture that lived under soviet influence but we took the madness and run with it. hungarians turned on themselves so fast and so ugly it's still not cleared up and our whole sense of belonging is gone partially still. there was no rich vs poor, there was not even a clear ideological war between worker and intellectuals, it was pure spite and hate and we still don't really know how to move on. how to argue without going for the throat each time. how to list and say reasons and how to communicate. so maybe it plays a part on why i cannot get a little mean joke as simple teasing.

maybe i'm just fed up with negative words. cause humor is so much more. humor and comedy is in the silence, in the action and then in the retelling. and there are so many objectively funny things to make you laugh. why does it have to be someone else painted in bad light?

i live in a culture where the government spends millions on half-assed horrible looking propaganda-adjecent failures of posting about who the enemy is and why you should still trust them. i live in a culture where after a horrible case where a pedophile was given amnesty, the backlash of the people felt actually comforting, it felt like 'okay maybe we didn't forget about normal things completely' it was a sign that maybe this fucked up grotesque comedy of politics will end one day. in a culture where after the slip up and the whole scandal the government media still tried everything to save face - forcing our prime minister (our first lady minister) to retire along with the head of justice (another lady).

i live in a culture where i heard stories of horrible atrocities from middle-school or even younger. cause it was everywhere. and i learned that i should aim to do better, to be a better human, to be humane. to feel for the other and help, not seek to destroy.

so i hate jokes that are just simply mean. even if it's supposed to be light teasing, i hate them. i don't feel better knowing it's not serious cause where i come from, it can quickly become serious. i hate to use someone else to feel better about ourselves in a way to insure we're better than them. i hate mean caricature of people, i hate when it's someone else telling it about someone other.

and why does a silly joke about sending others to the gulag make me angry? cause it tells my little traumatized mind that people living in the self-proclaimed utopia of democracy (i know it's crumbling but you're nowhere near close to how it plays here) dream about becoming a dictator, becoming part of a system where you deal with things you don't like by inhuman retaliation. and that scares me and when you tell me it's just a joke i become furious cause yeah, it's a joke to you, it's actual history for me. and i get angry cause how dare you joke about things that you know little to nothing about? then i go silent cause i do not know what you actually know about it.

and yes, there was the communist hunting in the US and the nazi hunting etc. but do you think about those when you make that joke? or do you think that's different all together. cause those damned reds were always your enemy? i don't know how you think when you joke about communism, i don't know what you know about the horrors and absurdities of it. so i cannot laugh. i don't find it funny. i do not know what do you base your parallel of. cause when you make a joke about something you associate and you find similarities and i cannot see those.

maybe i'm over traumatized by design of my culture. maybe it's my personality. but there are genuinely so many things to laugh about that do not ridicule other people, other historical events, i just wish we could hear more of them.

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

Idk but this is just a stupid rant again. Another thing I'm so tired of seeing is censorship over everything written on social media, to the point posts are unreadable now.

I see screenshots of tiktok videos where the people write everything l!k3 t#!$ for simple words like "smirk" or "laugh", because they think those basic ass words will be caught and ban them.

I've seen people taking pictures of posts and crossing out words just as basic, ones like "married" or "family" or "horse". But most sites just monitor text posts and not photos, so a screenshot that's been censored to the point you can't even make out what it says, does nothing but cause frustration. Posting the original photo of it without doing any censoring likely wouldn't be flagged.

I totally understand censoring as a theoretical thing, but in practice it shouldn't be used at all. Especially when legitimate death threats, slurs, and harmful hate speech, never goes against social media standards and never gets flagged. So why should anyone have to censor swears or words like "attack", "damage", etc.? And now that it's come to the point people fear writing anything normally and will censor random harmless words just because they're afraid? Fuck it. Fuck social media.

Why bother posting at all if the only things you can post are hateful bigotry against minorities, or writing everything in l33+$p33¢#

For frame of reference, picture censoring isn't any better, though. I've seen literal porn posted on Facebook. But if I post a photo of myself shirtless? The giant scar I have is always tagged as gore, and my photo is removed immediately or just a few seconds later.

My friends literally did not know what my scar looked like for 5+ years because I couldn't get it past any censors on any social media they had. It was only when we all gathered together at a hotel that they got to see me shirtless fully for the first time, this past summer.

But you know what I've seen showed and not flagged? A video of a self proclaimed neo Nazi shrink-wrapping and suffocating a gay man to death. A gif of someone blowing their head apart with a gun and it showed blood splatter, brain bits, everything. Actual pics of drugs and how they're used.

All that shit is posted without an issue. But apparently, my very existence is gore. What I paid $12,000 of my own money for so I could be comfortable in my own body, has classified me as too horrific for the world to set eyes on via the internet.

When I advocate for freedom of expression and representation, I fucking implore people to flood social media with things like photos of their scars, their minority gatherings, videos of protesting and going against mainstream society. Social media was founded on the principle of connecting the world in every way, but how the fuck can we do that if the makers are banning everything that either lowers their reputation because it's uncommon, or is something that doesn't fit societal norms???

[lan-barbie]

Hello! I hope it's okay for me to ask you about this here - I didn't want to "comment dumb" on your not me high school au that you wrote for fun😂 I'm probably getting a bit in my own head about this, but I don't understand why you censored the self harm mention in the A/N, since ao3 has a really good filtering system w the tags/doesn't really do censorship the way tumblr for example does. To me it seems like you did a really nice job of warning for it, and treating it respectfully, but not saying the words makes it seem like a slur - like you shouldn't generally discuss it. however it does nothing for people who might be triggered by it. we will most likely recognise any "slang" version of the term that there's ever been. It kind of bugs me, since that "tabooness" was a big part of why it personally took me a long time to talk about my own experience with sh which was ultimately what really helped me recover because i destigmatised it for myself. maybe you have a reason and I'd love to hear your thought process about it - but it's such a sensitive topic so if you don't want to answer this I get it. Thank you for sharing the fic in any case, I really found it very sweet and have enjoyed it in the post-final wallowing 💜💜💜

Oh-- Most definitely I would have never gassed you for something like this. Talking about my experience with SH, i only censored the large word in my A/N, because it's like the first thing ppl see and in a story you can rather build up to say the word. I didn't wanna like immediately trigger someone in my A/N

For more my experience w/ sh you can keep reading :-)!

A little more personal - All of Black's character backstory involving sh and White's experience is straight from my own experience. I suffer terribly with sh, it's like my horrible habit I can't get rid of.

my senior year of hs I had bandcamp coming up. I was so freaking stressed about it and I went super maniac and just did my usually sh to calm down. Then i swear to God dread consumed because I realized I had to wear short sleeves because our camp is in the summer. Which my mania said 'yep, we're done. time to go!' and I tried to ya know -argh- myself that night.

I told my older sister the next morning, I took a very large amount of medication and it made me super sick and also insanely calm. I got medically instituted and I was PISSED. My boyfriend at the time had no clue, my phone got taken because I was texting my best friend terrible stuff. It was shitty, and I wanted to leave, because I never thought my sh was that bad... I had a terrible set of internet friends that egged me on and I just wanted to stop everything. It was while I was locked away that I realized that a lot of people cared about me. I just remember laying in my room just sobbing my eyes out with a photograph of my mom and sister in my arms, vowing I was going to get better for them.

First them, then myself.

It was in my journey that truly opened my eyes. I got really into death, caring for the dead and embalming. I was already really into gore because of my sh, and it was when I started realizing that it wasn't a fascination with blood and nasty stuff-- it was death. I kind of signed my ass up for mortuary school for a last resort, because I honestly didn't think I was going to live that long. It ended up being a super good decision, I love my job, caring for those mourning and dressing those to be viewed.

Just sometimes I'll get someone on my table, young people, my age, and I think to myself-- That could of been you bitch. Aren't you glad ur not dead in a ditch somewhere? It's harsh, but I'm normally super harsh on myself.

I still cut, I won't lie. I get in moods and it calms me, but it sucks, because I can't rid of the habit.

I think because I am revisiting a lot of my school experiences and projecting Black's character as a angry-version of myself, it's how it sounds so realistic, but still hold a joke because it's a funny joke to me. I think there are two types of sh ppl, the one's that can joke and the other that can't-- or is scared to. I am just one of those people that can read myself to filth and I put this trait on Black, because he just feels like the type of self depricating people.

It's a little different from both an outside pov and inside pov. In the Black/Gram fic, there is very speific part that talks about Black sh and -ARGH- himself from Gram while not truly talking about in Black's pov, because from an outsider pov Gram is hurt by this. Scared for Black while Black pov he could care less. He struggled with this for years and from me I never truly focus on my coping. It's just there and it's dumb but I do it. He's getting help and he still doesn't see it as a bad thing, which it is. I'm not saying do it lol.

My advice to you anon, from someone who has hit rock bottom and still sometimes will hit it, there's only up from there. Celebrate succession and don't dwell on failing if you do slip up. Su su na :-)!

-Barbie <3

[popculturebuffet]

Mickey Mouse Birthday Shortstravaganza!

It’s Mickey and Minnie’s Birthday! It was 92 Years Ago Today everyone’s faviorite mouse came in on a tide of whistling, romance and animal abuse and swept into America’s hearts and wallets. Okay I am a day late on this, I had a busy day, but hey a belated celebratoin’s still good right? Right? Eh i’m doing it anyway.   Anyway since then he’s been one of animations most iconic characters, and while out of the classic power trio I vastly prefer donald and goofy, they still woudln’t be around without Disney’s big cheese and having not seen a ton of Mickey’s shorts, I felt I owed it to the big eared one to take a look at a bunch of his shorts for his birthday and see how I liked em. If your curious about my previous Donald Duck marathon, it’s CLICK THIS LINK.  Unlike last time all of these shorts are on Disney+ as more of Mickey’s library is on there and one or two of these were added recently, as Disney tends to add a few a month. I do wish there were more on there.. but unlike with say the handful of shows they haven’t put on there, i’m a bit more forgiving here. For one thing, YouTube has all the shorts available from various uploaders and DIsney hasn’t touched them despite Plus’ launch. Given like most companies Disney usually has their bots a cirlcing for their content, this has to be delebrate on there part and it’s a good gesture from the company. So while not in crisp HD like the Plus copies, or as easily avaliable, you can find any short that’s happened. So the shorts not all being up at once isn’t an issue like most of the shows that are absent on Plus. 

They also heavily need to cherry pick their library as some shorts simply haven’t aged well or have offensive stuff. With the exception of “The Beach Picnic”, which has a racist caricature of native americans via ants.. yes really, most of the shorts are fine to show kids, and have aged pretty well. And as my last marathon showed some shorts.. just haven’t. While not you know racist, seriously why is the Beach Picnic on there?, “Donald’s Penguin”, while utterly adorable at first, ends with Donald trying to murder a baby penguin with a shot gun. No amount of content warnings is going to get past one of their beloved icons pointing a shotgun at a baby. While Disney’s self conciousness can be silly, the splash edit and not putting the Darkwing Duck episode “Hot Spells” on plus for instance, this is one time when I can agree with them: if someone is curious about a paticuarlly offensive short or a propoganda one, youtube exists. But given Plus is trying to be all ages and dosen’t have censoring they have to be careful what they put on there, and I can respect that. I don’t think anyone’s crying a river over the fact that the goofy short where his reflection keeps saying “Hey Fat”, over and over while he struggles with his weight isn’t on Disney Plus and thankfully never will be. But seriously get rid of the “Beach Picnic”. It’s not a good short and you already have one batch of native american stereotypes with “Peter Pan”, I don’t think racist ants are the hill you want to die on disney.

So yeah, this time all of these are from Disney Plus, and since I watched them all at once, their in Watch order rather than chronological like last time. So with all that out of the way...

After the cut

1. Steamboat Willie (1928): It’s All Fun and Games Until Mickey Strangles an Innocent Duck Starting from the obvious source, Steamboat Willie was the start of Mickey’s career. And it’s.. okay. The animation is fantastic and the first half is pretty good: Theirs a pretty good gag with one of the cows. But the finale, with Mickey abusing various animals just isn’t that funny A LITTLE rattling of an animal for comedy is fine.. but the things Mickey does here are just sociopathic> And yes I know it was the 1920′s, but even in that lawless, racist, sexist time, they knew better than to strangle a duck, or, in the moment that puts it over the top, remove suckling pigs fromt heir mom and then play a pig’s teats like an insturment to make it squeal musically.. I assure you I did not make this up. That actually happens.  The pacing is also fairly slow at points, with some gags dragged out, though that can be chalked up to having no way to edit the damn thing, so that part I can forgive more.  What makes up for it, like I said, are some good jokes, and some gorgeous animation. Decades later and while clearly made a long time ago, it still looks vibrant and really pops even in black and white. It shows just how talented Disney was and how far the company could go with this medium.  One last thing to note is Mickey’s Early personality. While he’d retain trickster aspects at times, here he bounces between the loveable jolly mouse we’d come to know for the rest of his career who sometimes has a wild streak.. and a total asshole who strangles a duck. It’s just intresting to see such a diffrent side of him,  most of which would end up going to Donald over time. Overall the short is decent, not the best of Disney’s catalogue but worth a watch for the historical significance despite it’s shortcomings, pun unintended. 

2. Thru the Mirror (1936): That Was a Weird One This was easily my favorite of the bunch and as of now, my favorite Mickey Mouse Theatrical Short. Part of it is that it’s entirely bonkers; The film STARTS with Mickey , sound asleep, some how astral projecting as his soul, his spirit or whatever lead shis body and having been reading Alice Thorugh the Looking Glass, goes into a mirror world. But instead of encountring evil goatee mickey, he encounters a bunch of living objects and a bunch of fun set pieces for jokes ensue. He dances with playing cards, fights an army of them, has a sword fight with the king after dancing with the queen which.. no Mickey, bad mickey, your in a relationship and so is she. Bad Mouse bad. It is entirely fucking insane, even including a living nut cracker which.. words can’t.. look

They.. they had to know how this looked right? did the director have a ball busting fetish? I mean okay if he did, nothing wrong with that, but maybe don’t put it in your children’s cartoon.  That being said it does eat the shells which I find creative. And that’s what really makes this one pop. The creativity. Not a single minute is boring, every minute has something intresting going on, but without throwing too muchi n your face. It’s just a wonderful short and one that like Mr. Duck Steps out, i’ll be rewatching a LOTTTT. 

3. Mickey’s Rival (1936): Mortimer: The Original Bro From the same year we have disappointment. Having grown up with the disney classic House of Mouse, I was a huge fan of Mortimer. So when I first saw this, I was happy to see where he came from.. then justifably blocked it out of my mind till this review. While I love mortimer, I love Mickey having a sleazy rival and one diffrent than Pete who has different goals and tactics than the big guy. But his debut just has him as an obnoxious snickering bro.. which to be fair is who he is, but without the venre of charm his later version would have.  Mortimer just spends the short being a pranking douche, and blatantly hitting on Minnie in front of Mickey while their on a date. Which even in an open relationship is a no no, so he has no leg to stand on.. metaphorically. He also walks weird in this one because, and this is true, he’s carying 9 volt batteries in his pants. Yes really. That’s the level of Douche we’re dealing with. Someone so up their own ass they carry batteries int heir pocket instead of money or a mask or children’s trading cards like a normal person or a me.  What makes it frustrating is Minnie just swoons over the guy. And not like “Awww he’s so funny”, I mean romantically then has the gaul to say “your just jealous” when Mickey is understandably fuming over the jackass who swooped in, pranked him, is hitting on his girlfriend in front of him by teasing a bull, and in general is just the worst. Yes.. yes he is. Justifably. Jealousy is an ugly emotion but there’s a line between some dude bro like Mortimer getting mad your friends with someone you could be in a relationship with, boy, girl, neither, both, whatever your into, and Mickey getting mad his girlfriend is chuckling all over her ex who agian, crashed their date and treated him like garbage and is very transparently hitting on her in the middle of it.  It’s also just not a very funny short, outside of the bit pictured and tha’ts more for the sheer aburdity of Mortimer elctifying his pant for a really dumb gag about stealing people’s pants button. He’s very lucky we didn’t see Mickey’s Epic Mickey is what i’m saying. But given he’s a frat bro, the 1930′s version granted but a bro nonetheless,  he’d probably find that hilarious until he noticed the sheer size and scope.  Overall a forgetable, frustrating short. The one bright spot is mickey and mortimer’s cars which have faces and stuff and look neat.. otherwise it was just a waste of my time and the only good thing it did was bringing Mortimer into our lives. And that ain’t nothing. 

4. Mickey Down Under (1948): ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

This is a quick one.. because this one was a vacum. I mean I can at least say for Mickey’s Rival it’s interesting.. i’ts not good but it’s interesting. this is just.. Mickey farts around with a boomerang with his dog and then pisses off an ostrich. There’s not really a lot of consequence or intrest is what i’m saying. I can’t even find a good opening to make a letterkenny joke. No one got close to fucking an ostrich here. It’s telling by the fact theirs no gif’s of this one that no one cares and it baffles me this is one of the ones Disney chose to gussy up for D+ release. But still no donald messing around with a robot? 

5. The Band Concert (1935): That’s More Like It.  Okay scooting back a year we have the band concert. This is my third time watching this one and it’s a delight. Like the last one I don’t have a ton to say.. but it’s more because this one is just so good rather than because it wasted my time. It’s got a fun concept and the breakout performance from my boy donald duck as he constantly fucks with the band’s performance by either getting in their faces or hilariously pulling Flute’s out of thin heir. I miss that gimmick for donald, his love of pulling objects out of the either via magic and shenanigans. They should bring it back. Also his shenanigans remind me of opus and that’s never a bad thing. 

Also Horace takes off his shirt. For the Ladies. A Classic for good reason. 

6. On Ice (1935): Donald is a Bastard Man Another great one from the same year. This time around we have what i’ve come to call a Mickey and the Gang Messaround. This is back when Donald and Goofy were supporting characters, so generally each of the big three do something, usually coming together for the climax.  In this case Mickey tries to help Minnie with her skating, with him adorably following her around with a pillow before showing off for her, just really sweet stuff. Goofy’s bit is hilariously dumb, as fitting my boy, as he feeds fish tobaco to get them to spit into a spitoon, and tries to club them, with predictable results. While not the most enivrionmentally friendly just the sheer oddness, the fact it sort of works minus him actually clubbing them, and one of hte fish smacking him in the face all make it work.  The only bit that reallyd osen’t is Donald and pluto... it was present a bit before but here illustrates why I really dread Pluto based shorts. While I don’t hate the dog, he’s a dog I love dogs, most of the gags in his old shorts, and even up to mouseworks are him either being blamed for shit that’s not his fault, a pet peve of mine, or being tourtured in some way...

But dosen’t work at all now. He puts the poor dog on skates and then laughs at him and even sings a song mocking the poor dog, before justifably nearly ending up going over a watterfall, then ending up clubbed in the head. Good. I love donald but good god is he unsympathetic here.. and for some reason they teamed the two up again for more shorts! Why. It’s why I don’t get why Pluto was the star of his own shorts: if this is all they had.. why do it? Was the 30′s, 40′s and 50′s equilvent of a micheal bay audience really that into dog abuse?  So yeah otherwise a good short but that segment drags it down. not Donald’s best work. 

7. Clock Cleaners(1937): This is a Great One Not much to say on this one. It’s pretty good, has some fun set pieces, and some great jokes from all three characters. Mickey deals with a seagull, donald effs with a main spring and Goofy fights some statues. All good clean fun. My lack of brevity is more because I don’t have any jokes rather than this genuinely being bad. It’s pretty good. 

8.. Mickey and the Seal(1948): More Pluto Torture Porn! 

This one’s more of a mixed bag. On the one hand, it is really cute, as a young seal ends up going home with mickey after he visits the zoo to feed them fish. On the other hand.. it’s mostly Pluto chasing after the seal, Mickey being kind of a dick to pluto and not getting he clearly saw SOMETHING in his house, and then teasing him at the end despite him having been right. That being said the ending, with the seal brining back all it’s buddies to mickey’s house, is fricking amazing. ALso the seals in this unvierse who aren’t antrho can speak. That.. that raises a lot of questions I don’t think disney can answer. 

9. Ye Olden Days (1933): Jaunty Dueling Music Now this.. this was a fun one. Mickey and Minnie head to Medivil times, proving that the current shorts tendency to jaunt to various settings isn’t a new thing, and it’ sjust a much of a fun change up here as it was there. Mickey, a wondering minstral, ends up trying to rescue Minnie after her father throws her in a dungeon for not wanting to marry Prince Dippy Dog, who hopes she can learn to love him. I can’t tell if he’s genuine or a dick here. But it’s fun, especially the part where, after Minnie declares she loves mickey which.. it’s been a few hours slow down, they decide on a duel and thus sing some ragtime, 1930′s getting ready for duel music that’s just catchy. if X Of Swords ever gets a movie, I want to use this song. Just.. really good stuff. A fun short with some great gag,s a great concept, and my boy goofy as the villian. What’s not to like? Alright one more. 

10. MIckey’s BIrthday Party (1942): Big Chicken Breasts We end on another all together now, Mickey and the Gang Messaround that was a great note to end on. I did watch another short, Pluto’s Birthday party.. but it was both more of a Pluto short and more Pluto torture nonsense, so yeah, skipping that one, as I ended up one short of my 12 goal because I can’t count, apparently. So Mickey gets 10, but this one’s a good note to go out on. 

Minnie throws a suprise party for mickey which almost turns into a live sex celebration as Mickey clearly is a wee bit horny going in. But it turns into a fun dance party, with Donald throwing out razzes like a good buddy, Goofy making a cake, and some fun gags with a piano they all bought him. It’s a really good short. That’s the problem with Mickey Shorts and doing all D+ ones: There just isn’t the weirdly offensive stuff to talk about there is. He’s not a bad character, but there’s a reason in every short that features all three, Donald and Goofy easily outshine him. Mickey’s not a bad character, but when not in trickster mode, there just isn’t a lot for him to do. It’s why the comics reinvented him, much like they did for donald, into a plucky detective/reporter who reguarly sovles crimes. He’s not bad, and as seen with Ye Olden Days and Thru the Miror, his blank slateness cna be put to good effect and house of mouse gave him more of a personality, but here he’s just the bland good guy to Donald’s loveable scmap and goofy’s loveable dumbass. It’s an issue comedy has to this day: having a lead whose just.. not as intresting as the rest of the ensemble.  There is weirdness to note, as Donald dances with Clara Cluck> That’s not the weird part, he and daisy took a while to be etched in stone. The weird parts are 1. Donald wearing a sombrero and smoking a cigar, and 2. Clara’s MASSIVE boobs.. yes really. Clara Cuck has giant breasts. Like actual boobs that sway around while she dances with donald. it’s.. bizzare. Not terrible, who doesn’t like big chicken boobs but just.. really really weird to see ina  Disney cartoon.But yeah it’s jus ta fun note to end on. 

And that was MIckey’s Birthday special. I enjoyed it even if I had less to say than I thought. If you liked this review, you can comission your own for five bucks, just hit up my pms or my discord , avaliable on request. You can check out my ohter disney reviews in the disney tab on my blog and until next time, ther’es always another rainbow. 

[ramblinganthropologist]

N7 challenge 18 and 19 - Blue and Substance

Yep, doubling up prompts again... it’s Nano, I’m only human. 

Summary: Extra, extra... Commander Shepard’s gotta engage in some mild censhorship after a tabloid leaks a photo of him imbibing a mysterious substance. Just what is it... and why does it smell like blue raspberry? The hell is the Alliance up to these days? 

---

…

Why did he get the feeling he was being watched by more than just hamsters?

It was probably just a feeling, but Alistair couldn't shake it as he entered Citadel Critters that afternoon.  Normally this was his favorite place on the station, but... well, the walk over from the docks had been unnerving to say the least. If anyone caught sight of him, they stared. A few even whispered, but it was all too low for him to pick up.

Great, who was he fucking now according to the media?

“Good to see you, Al.”

At least Mike looked normal and happy to see him. Alistair was glad for that as he raised his hand in a friendly greeting. That was of course a mistake – from the wrist almost to his elbow he was still bandaged up like a mummy. At least the bandages had stopped bleeding.

Normally medigel would be the thing for this, but the wound type needed healing the old fashioned way. As a medic he understood it... but as a twitchy biotic, it was itchy as hell and he hated every moment of it.

The shopkeeper winced at the sight of him. “Am I allowed to ask what happened there, or is it secret Spectre shit?”

“I got too close to a krogan on Tuchanka and we traded paint. Their bacteria is pretty toxic, so I can't seal it up with medigel.” He shrugged. “Least I didn't break anything. Then that would have to heal the old fashioned way too.”

He was kind of glad that krogan was dead, all things considered. Not just because he tried to kill him, but he tried to kill his nephew during his Proving. Nobody messed with Grunt and got away with it; didn't matter what it was. Shit, he'd taken on a thresher maw for the kid and he still had to go to therapy considering them. If that wasn't proof he liked the guy, nothing was.

But anyway, he was glad that fucker was dead. Asshole.

“Now you're fighting krogan hand to hand? Maybe there's something to that tabloid story after all.” Mike winced as he seemed to bite his tongue. “Shit, I said I wasn't going to ask you about that, it's clearly bullshit...”

…

What was clearly bullshit?

Alistair frowned as he checked his omni-tool, going to a site he knew fairly well. It had been a while since he had checked in with Citadel Daily, but it looked like for the most part they were still behaving. Sure, he wound up there – but they weren't mentioning who he was fucking or anything.

The answer was nobody, by the way, because the universe hated him.

“Well... it's not from Citadel Daily, so I think you're going to have to fill me in.”

The shopkeeper looked uncomfortable as he rubbed the back of his neck. “It's from some smaller paper, but it's kind of gone viral. They ran it in last week's Spec-Check.”

Ah, he'd heard of that. Hell, he'd been in it once or twice. Half the time it was getting censored by the Council for accidentally falling ass first into the truth, and the rest of their stories were so obviously fake that they provided excellent cover. The ones about him had all been fake... but maybe it would explain the stares.

Mike grabbed his datapad from a nearby table and tabbed over to an article he had clearly read a couple times. He wasn't looking Alistair in the eye as he handed it over, and his hand trembled a bit. Clearly, someone was feeling a little guilty...

“What the hell?”

There, in bright font, screamed out “Commander Shepard: Under the Influence of Biotic Boosting Substances?” with a picture of him in armor. His eyebrow zoomed to his hairline as he realized it was taken on Tuchanka. How had he missed a krogan taking a picture of him?

More importantly, who had sold him out and why did he need to tan their hide?

“So this story...” he flicked through. “Implies that I'm on some illicit substance to boost my biotics. They know red sand is a thing, right?”

The shopkeep shrugged. “Keep reading, they imply it's some purified Alliance version they're testing on you. The paper called it blue moon...”

Alistair's vein throbbed as he flipped to the picture. Clear as day, there was a picture of him opening a tube of a obnoxiously colored, bright blue powdery substance and swallowing it down. Judging by the scenery... he had gone after a thresher maw not long after it was taken.

Ok... he could kind of see the hook there, but come the fuck on.

“I told people it was bullshit, the Alliance isn't going to risk its first Spectre on shit like that...” Mike's voice wavered. “But then more pictures showed up.”

Now he really had to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Mind telling me where I can find these guys? I think I need to give them the Citadel Daily special.”

“Is that the part where you toss them out a window?”

No, it was the part where he let Bo threaten someone with defenestration. Problem was that his XO was still back on the Normandy with her adoptive son. They were having a bonding moment after what had gone down on Tuchanka. He was eventually supposed to bring them back snacks, but... well it looked like he had to make a pit stop first.

“We'll see. Now, I gotta get to tracking them down...”

---

Unlike Citadel Daily, the office of Eye on the Citadel was much smaller and in a more run down part of the Wards. Some might have called it seedy, but Alistair didn't care as he got out of the cab and checked his omni-tool. On it flashed the details he needed and had acquired from EDI when he had informed the Normandy where he was going.

“You packing your blue moon, Commander?”

Alistair rolled his eyes as he touched the piece in his ear. “Joker...”

“Sorry, Commander. I know you're touchy about it and all. Just don't throw anyone out a window with your mind.”

Yes, yes he was. Regardless, the Spectre sighed as he approached the front door. The sign said to knock, which he did. He even stepped back, waiting. For a long while, he wasn't sure if anyone was home.

Then he heard the skittering in the background.

“Shit, it's Shepard!”

Someone wasn't very subtle. They were also looking through the peep hole directly at him. Despite himself, he gave a little wave as he waited for the door to open. Whoever was there squeaked, and it sounded like they fell down.

Hopefully they hadn't broken anything before he got the chance to try.

“Hello, are you alright in there? It sounded like you took a nasty fall. I'm a medic if you need some first aid.”

Someone was sniffling behind the door. It was so damn pathetic that Alistair sighed and reached for the doorknob. In a few seconds, his picking program had made short work of the lock. That allowed him to gently twist the handle and open the door.

Just like he thought, there was a person on the floor, holding their ankle with big tears in their eyes. From where he was standing, it just looked like a bad sprain. It was nothing a little medigel and some rest couldn't handle, and luckily he had the first ingredient on hand.

Problem was, the person who had just entered the hallway looked as though he had murdered someone.

“So Commander Shepard breaks and enters on top of consuming illicit drugs.” Their camera was out. “Eli, did he hurt you?”

Alistair's tone was as dry as Tuchanka as he motion to the prone human. “I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure they sprained their ankle falling.”

The man with the camera looked from his partner to his subject a few times. He still took a few pictures before he put it away – note to self, blast that late. A few seconds later, he was helping Eli to his feet – somewhat unsuccessfully. He was way off balance.

“If you do it that way...” He winced as both men went tumbling. “... that's going to happen. Did you break something too?”

Camera man wasn't amused as he tried to free himself from underneath his prone friend. “I'm fucking fine, what the hell are you doing here? You broke in!”

Alistair gestured to the fact he was still on the other side of the door. “I haven't even entered the house yet, good luck proving that.”

Clearly, he was dealing with a real genius. He doubted this was the man who had written the article about him – not enough imagination. Maybe it was his photos, but definitely not his words. That he attributed to Mr. Sprained Ankle, who was still trying to get up on his own power. With his luck, he probably sprained the other one...

Just what he needed, a rescue mission when he was trying to be intimidating.

He sighed and let his anger trickle out. “May I enter so I can administer first aid? You've followed me enough to know I'm a medic.”

“Yeah, a medic tripping balls on blue moon!” Camera man pointed at him. “I saw you take it twice on the Citadel, once with your fucking niece! You have a problem, and I'm going to expose you so people know not to-”

The beeping from Alistair's wrist drew the Spectre's attention. He frowned and flipped it over. A familiar program was warning him that his sugar was currently in the low 60's. If this kept up, he was going to risk really becoming a space cadet.

Talk about appropriate though.

“You're about to see another dose, actually.” He pulled the paper tube from his jacket pocket and ripped off the top. A few seconds later, down his throat it went. All he tasted was sour blue raspberry as it traveled down his throat.

He really hated blue flavors... green apple was where it was at.

On the floor, Eli sniffed. “Is... that candy?”

“Homemade pixie stick mix. It's cheaper than buying the individual tubes.” He tossed Camera Man a packet. “Test it if you don't believe me. Mine's a little more sour than the commercial mix, but it's still basically sugar, citric acid, a little bit of flavor with the color.”

Somewhere, he was pretty sure a thousand 'don't do drugs, kids' infomercials went through both men's heads as they examined the packet. The vein continued to throb as he waited for his sugar to creep back to normal levels. At least it wouldn't take long – he had caught the low fairly early.

It was Eli who took the packet, giving a little bit of the powder a cautionary lick despite his coworker's protests. When his face contorted in the classic sign of sour, the Spectre sighed in relief. Still, it was hard to resist pinching the bridge of his nose.

“He's telling the truth, Sam. It's like a high powered pixie stick.” And then the man wasn't looking at him. “Shit... you've been eating these the whole time, haven't you?”

Alistair held up his wrist, showing the blood meter reading. “Have to or I go into hypoglycemia. It's part of being a biotic for me. So I guess we can say you were kind of right about it being a biotic booster. However, I don't think anyone outside an elementary school classroom is going to call it illicit.”

He at least allowed a smile. “So, you going to let me in now to help with that ankle, or are you just going to live on the floor from now on?”

---

“So, did you throw him out a window?”

“No, and did you want the Cheetos too?”

Alistair could hear Bo groaning on the other end of the line as he picked out snacks for his trip back. He had quite a few – enough to fill the basket. That was understandable, given he was helping to feed a krogan and a high powered biotic. Between the two of them, he wasn't sure who could eat more. Some days it was a toss up.

So he added the Cheetos anyway. If she didn't want them, he'd eat them later.

“You're such a fucking boy scout sometimes, Al. You could've at least fucked with him a little bit.”

The Spectre shrugged his shoulders as he added a few more things to his basket before heading for the self check out. Given the time of day, the store was pretty packed. He still felt eyes on the back of his neck, but not as many as before.

The blog post had gone out while he was checking Eli's ankle. He had been right on the credits about who wrote for that duo...

“I got my retraction, and he learned not to stand on things while you're spying on a Spectre. Everyone walks away happy.”

“Yeah, except the people who bet you'd throw them out the window.”

Well, that was their mistake. After all, he WAS known for being the boy scout. She had said it herself. Though, he knew she hadn't bet on him, though not because she knew him well. Bo wasn't allowed to bet on anything involving him, due to the fact she was usually involved. This was a rare technicality that had kept her out of the pool.

Too bad, she could've cleaned up.

“Who managed to take the pot home?”

“Garrus. He better be taking you on some kind of date with that money when this is over.”

The thought of it made Alistair's face heat as he started scanning things through the self checkout. “Come on... we're not...”

“Not with that attitude. Also, did you get the nuggets? We were going to watch Jurassic Park next, they'd be a good theme snack.”

He sent her a picture of the massive sized bag of dinosaur-shaped nuggets before finishing up. Soon, he was out the door and blending into the crowd as he put his hood up to avoid the lingering gazes. Hopefully with time, it would settle down.

As he headed back to the Normandy, Alistair was glad for one thing... that he hadn't told anyone the thought of throwing someone out a window had crossed his mind more than once as he healed Eli's ankle. That would've probably lost the pool for Garrus, and maybe he was hoping for that date sometime this century.

Well, that and being cleared of being on weird Alliance drugs like a guinea pig. That was good too. But seriously, how the hell had they come up with that? Anyone with a brain in their head knew as a Spectre he technically wasn't part of the Alliance anymore. If they had any neat substances to test out, it would be on people they actually held marching orders for.

Oh well... at least he'd been able to get the green color this time. No more blue moon for him. Maybe he'd keep the name for the blend, though... it was kind of catchy.

[toomuchbroadwayquotes]

This might be ignored,its a long read, but if you want to have your forces restored on feminism my dead feminists i really wanted to share something that is making me tear up every 5 seconds.

As some of you might now, in my country (Brasil) we currently have a situation where our "president" is a misogynist (said he had a bunch of boys, they he went weak and have a daughter that's a "small" example for yall), homophobic ( said he would beat the gay out of his son if he ever "got it"), racist ( talking about killing native Indians and saying slaverism was a choice yadayada) anyways, just a piece of crap, we call him Bozo, like the clown. Well ever since his election we have been feeling so down (I'm sure my American friends can share the feeling). We are the country that kills more transexual people on the world. And it's not even illegal here, that would put into perspective. So, all this are real, serious problems, but bear with me as I get I little... naive maybe?. Well we had 20 seasons of BigBrother over here (Or BBB, Adding the Brasil at the end) and the show is on "the liberals tv channel, all the conservatives try to boycott it yadda yadda ") . But this season is just a gem. I feel like a revolution is happening and (I'm crying rn) I can't even put into words. Its gonna sound ridiculous, but you have to understand that 1) TV is a huge part of our culture, and is 100% connected with politics for us. 2)This show has been silencing woman, making men do anything they want without consequences and put woman as simple objects for their enjoyment. And somehow every year we wouldcomplain about how that was the reflection of our country. Something like this year edition NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE.

Our LGBT movies, Theather and books are being censoreds right now. Our country is on the verge of becoming a conservative doom.

The secretary of health system said :abstinence of sex is the best way to avoid DSTs and pregnancies. THATS HOW DEEP IN SHIT WE ARE. And we feel voiceless. Is like they are the majority you know?

Is like, you know when Katniss made every distric rebel by leading an example on the hunger games? Is THAT KIND OF SHIT. So, firsts things first:

I will introduce you the leaders of our current feminist movement

First, Thelma, she is not just ya regular powerful black queen. She is a doctor, with a bunch of degrees on stuff I can't even pronounce,she is specialized on anesthesia and she is a resident like those bad ass ones in grey's anatomy. She she is A BOSS. She is strong, and even though she is not 100% familiar with the feminism in "theory" she lives it in practice with out even knowing it ( now she knows, cause the other two are teaching her!) I want to make clear that on this reality show, the majority of the public has always been racist, and black people normally are eliminated first, yes it sucks and is one of the reasons I stopped watching a long time ago, as most of us millenials, but thank God we came back. She isn't going ANYWHERE CUZ WE ARE NOT LETTING THAT HAPPEN.

The second one is Marcela, every since the first we saw her she said loud and clear:I AM A FEMINIST, she is also a Doctor. She calls her self doctor unicorn, she is an OB/GYN and choose her career because she wanted to fully support her transexual brother /yess/, she is also expert on female sexuality and give classes about it, think Carina Deluca. She also takes care of sexual abuse victims. Oh yeah, she is bisexual as well. And everyone is shipping her with the next one btw.

Now our last warrior: Gizelly, She is a Lawyer, and she advocates for woman, she has suffered all the types of abuse from her ex husband and after all the trauma, she decided no one would do that to her again. Feminist, we call her the hurricane, she just shoots fire and defends any woman that is being belittled.

What happened was, some guys decided they would "seduce"any woman who was in a relationship outside the reality show, so they would look bad, and be eliminated easily. Wellx those 3 heard that, and they just couldn't get quiet. They went and tell all the girls about it. Some of them didn't believe them, the guys said they were CRAZY, and were LYING (what a shock)

The confrontation scene:

So one of them said: If I am lying, I will be eliminated this round. If I'm back, then you are the lier. So, regular reality show stuff right?

Here are some things you should know: Marcela, the leader ( as she was the one with the initiatives) was anonymous when she first got on the show, and 13 days later, she had 2 MILLION FOLLOWERS. Every feminist, every LGBT+ and ally on this country just woke up ya know?. We were all mad as hell that they were being treated as liars, but, and that's a HUGE but, the guy mentioned earlier was against one that was even worse. He was touching inappropriately the girls while they were completely DRUNK at the parties ( they wouldn't remember later), he was the one who actually made said plan mentioned before, but they didn't knew at the house because he was a completely different person when he was alone with the guys. A complete scumbag, he mocked and made fun of every woman on the house because of their looks etc. Sooo, all those millions of feminists watching were like : "do we take the biggest jerk and make the girls think we think they are lying or ?" Well, we decided to take the bigger toxic monster first, and left the other one for the next. But we had a special card. Every year, after the show starts, they put a glass house in the middle of a mall, with 4 candidates inside, we vote for 2 of them to be on the actual show yada yada. What happened was:people started showing off by the mall, with posters, begging for whomever got in the house to :"PLEASE TELL THE GIRLS EVERYONE BELIEVE THEM. THAT THEY ARE NOT LYING. THAT THEY HAVE MILLIONS OF SUPPORTERS. THAT HE ONLY CAME BACK BECAUSE THE OTHER WAS WORSE ETC"

So, last night was elimination day, the worst one got out with 80% elimination A victory for us (there were 4 people on this run, and one of them is a Black guy, fat, older than everyone else, and by history, he would obviously be the first eliminated but he was the one with LESS VOTES. AGAIN THIS IS UNPRECEDENTED IN OUR COUNTRY SPECIALLY SINC THE FOURTH PERSON COMPETING IS A CARISMATIC YOUNG KOREAN MAGICIAN YOUTUBER WITH A NETWORTH OF MILLIONS, BUT THE BLACK GUY WAS LESS VOTED THAN HIM, GUYS I CAN'T STOP WRITING IN CAPS.The second worst one tho, comeback celebrating, saying he knew he was right. Singing victory. The girls were crashed. No one understood and they all started crying and talking about how it was a reflection of our country, but that they wouldn't change their ideals etc. (Again, they didn't knew everything trash bag number one did, cuz he did it in secret so they thought it was an answer)... well, 2am, the couple from the glass house got in. And they told them. They said everything. How the public loves them, and the why the other one got out first, and how we knew they were saying the truth. This part is just a sweet ending for y'all. They then proceeded to get all the woman in one bedroom and talked and talked, they even explained to the ones who had some deep patriarchal mindset and were believing the boys up until that point, they had conversations about feminism, about not accepting to be treated that way, they cried, they were so relieved, it's silly because is a reality show, but last night everyone felt like we were supported. Like, people got our backs! People agree that we wont take that bullshit anymore. In other editions those guys would be the handsome guys that all the girls would die to be with, you know? But know they are the villains. It happened. The girls are not the crazy ones. They are not the powerless wones. They were the STRONG ONES forming OPINIONS, moving the big pieces on the board.

I can't even talk about how this will impact on many young girls, especially with all those girls having such strong stories you know? Today is a reality show but whatch us on the booting vote! Watch us at the March's. Just watch us. I'm telling y'all. Brasil is gonna turn this shit upside down.

Anyways here is a little clip of when our guardian Angel Dan, told the girls that they should trust Marcela's word

The relief the felt, we all felt. Having your word taken seriously after being called crazy and lier...

( even the production of the show tryied to deny the guys plan was real before the videos started pouring up, and they had to take back after saying on national television that Marcela was lying. Because that was the standard)

[gammija]

The Hollow review/summary/rant/explanation of why i hate the ending I wasn’t sure whether I should post this, but I did enjoy reading others experiences watching this show, so here’s mine under the cut. Edited from a convo with a friend.

(Obviously, spoilers!)

Me: Okay so to properly express my disappointment i gotta take you through the major beats

The show starts with three teens waking up in an almost empty room, finding out they all have amnesia. They quickly solve a puzzle to escape the room, and just as quickly Adam and Mira realize they have superpowers (superstrength/agility and some weird 'speak to animals/know all languages' hybrid, respectively. also she can breathe underwater and swim really fast. its kind of vague)

Kai is already clearly a comic relief, discount Ron (from HP, the movies, no idea about the books) so me and sister correctly predict he'll get jealous of adam and miras relationship (even if there is none), gets pissy and jealous that he has no powers, but then finds out he has powers anyway he does, hes a fire bender. cant say im not bitter about that cause id put my money on invulnerability but eh its alright he has red hair after all hes still fun

Friend: Of course he is

I just feel bad is all aldjs

Me: adam gets a throwaway line of 'maybe were dead' and kai never lets it go

this food might be poisoned but im starving and hey were dead anyway! right, adam

Friend: I love him??

Me: i loved him as soon as he spoke his first dumb words also he puns but basically hes the only interesting char; adam and mira are just cookie cutter 'male lead 1' and 'female lead 1' i mean, he’s cookie cutter ‘jealous 3rd wheel’ but that has more going on than the first two still servicable though

anyway so the jokes are sometimes fun, and superpowers are always my jam. but the REAL reason to keep watching is just, whats going on? ARE they dead? or in some kind of weird gvnmt experiment? some weird magical vampire guide (dont ask) hints they wanted this themselves ooh, intrigue. and the world is very very quirky they start in a gravity falls-y woods and then get teleported to a desert with minotaurs and witches, then get invited for tea by the Grim Reaper and the rest of the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse

tbh Grim is the best part of the show but thats neither here nor there

anyway they have a magic map that updates once theyve been somewhere, and it shows them that the hot dry desert and the swampy wood bunker are like right next to each other

so you start thinking, how are they gonna explain that? this is too weird to be handwaved away. theyve gotta be going somewhere

they visit some other exotic locals, like what appears to be the set of Alien (complete with alien) and an abandoned old fair and a floating island with japanese inspired evildoers on it

the weird magic guide keeps showing up and being vague, dropping hints that there are other kids there etc

at some point Mira says "This is no time for games!" Weirdy: "Thats where youd be wrong~" me and sister: Aha! videogame! that connects all the dots, and also makes the tropes clear: small world with all kinds of different areas, quests, fights, superpowers, an updating map, fast travel Adam, a few eps later: guis i think we might be in a videogame me and sister: [high five]

Anyway in the meantime also the second predictable Kai (discount Ron) plot happens: they meet three other kids (boy boy girl) and they act shady but the girl takes an immediate and obvious interest in Kai so obviously theyre gonna manipulate him and have him betray his friends but in the end he'll see through their facade and kick their ass that more or less happens. The other teens also confirm that this is a game, and theyre trying to win. winning is done by bringing the MacGuffin to a tree fights over macguffin ensue situations are dire but our characters persevere

(also Mira kisses Adam and he acts very weird about it, almost as if hes gay and the only reason they didnt make it canon is censors) (no lingering gaze, just him going 'hehe yeah no thanks, its not you, its me', but in a very... he doesnt seem to be saying it with shall we say burning desire in his soul. hes literally just like 'eh youre a good friend.' Cool move, cartoon that made the two main boys have arguments over nothing cause of course the two main guys have constant dick measuring matches)

this all is not the offensive part btw it was all fun and games, its just a flash cartoon i wasnt expecting Shakespeare

anyway so theyre in a videogame, and apparently thats the answer to all the weirdness. A bit of a cop-out, cause thats a very easy answer, but eh, it works. it wasnt immediately obvious.

also something i hadnt mentioned yet: thisd be ideal for making (self-insert) OCs. Unique powers for each person, there are clearly more characters than shown, the world is your playground

and maybe the video game thing could be interesting on its own in the last few eps the game seems to be glitching out a lot they say its breaking apart so they really gotta hurry now maybe they were beta testers for a vr game gone wrong maybe this is part of it but its like a huge experience that you tell all your friends about anyway there are ways it could be cool, could be expanded to a season 2 despite having solved the mystery

but. last episode. our heroes get the MacGuffin, go to a final stage, and fight the Boss Battle (its a dragon). they enter the Castle....

...and the screen zooms out, into a sudden live action stage, where we see the cartoon (literally what you were just watching) on screen. there are 6 chairs, 3 with our heroes, 3 with the other teens, presumably. theres a host and hes dressed exactly like the weird guy (and that was already kind of a clashy outfit in the cartoon). it was all just a game show. but. the worst part is the live action

you. dont. go. from. animated. to. live. action.

other way around? fine, can work. But now? WHY itd still be dumb and dissapointing but if itd been animated too itd at least have been.... nice to look at but the acting.. oh god they didnt even say anything and it was all wrong clearly theyd just picked the first random teens that vaguely looked like the chars and put them in there cause they had no lines so who needs acting?!

the enemy teams girl had, in the cartoon, pink hair. Purple with pink highlights instead of stylizing that into something more realistic or painting the actual hair, they gave some 30-year old woman a wig and called it a day

keep in mind i binged this show in one go

purposely stayed up late to watch the last ep with my sis even tho we shouldve gone to bed and were disobeying our dad cause we Had to Know

and theres more i said they had no lines but i was lying. Kai did have a line. well, his voice actor did they dubbed him also the line was about him having to pee which is already not the most hilarious in animated version but a live action kid whose supposed to be this character you spent 3 hours with but looks nothing like him saying that in a voice that doesnt belong to his throat, as he stands bashfully in front of a live audience, the only words spoken by your main characters in the last moments...

*its actual hell*

oh oh one more thing at the end the six kids stand in a line and kai is next to other girl they glance at each other and as the eyes of this teen and 30 year old in wig cross, her eye glitches for a moment

dun dun duuun

bUT i dont care anymore, The Hollow. You overestimated your own premise. this wont be forgiven. your most interesting part was the mystery, and the answer  to that was "just a normal game show" (which also doesnt make sense on another level smh) soo if you think that im interested in what these two-dimensional (ha) characters will do now about the glitch in the eye of a bitch then i have news for u

i dont

...if they get a second season ill probably check it out though as long as its animated

Friend: Gammi I'm getting the real sinking suspicious feeling that what you saw isn't the real end but bad on purpose because there's more to it

Me: the show didnt seem good enough to be bad on purpose

and yet im still not done, if youll still hear me out

i mean, im an animation fan so ill still watch but if theyd wanted to be bad on purpose they really shouldve done a better job fleshing out the characters thats what people come back for that was a bit of a sidetrack BUT so i said why the live action itself was just terrible in overal quality

but the resolution that 'oh it was all in a game show' doesnt work on multiple levels

first of all, they show a short flashback of "About 5 hours earlier". The kids stand on the stage and are instructed to take their seats in the vr-chairs, and pick their superpower

2 things i dislike about that

1) there goes all the self-insert/oc potential. they werent teens in over their heads, they werent gvnmt experiments, or just some kids who wanted to play a game -they were in it to win it, from the start. thats very specific and not the most appealing to all kinds of characters (goodbye, all the 'im just an average girl whod never step into the spotlight like that' characters).

Also, all the expansion on lore is gone. maybe there were other games simultaneously? eh, maybe, but theyd be all gameshows. Maybe someone ended uo trapped there for way longer? nah its just a gameshow theyre not gonna let anything actually bad happen. Maybe there are other worlds, other areas, other weird creatures? unlikely, they finished the map and familiarity seemed to be a thing for the audience. Now every new idea has to be put not through a 'whats interesting for a player' but a 'whats interesting for a viewer' lens, and whats a selfinsert if not a player in another universe

2) HOW IS THIS A SUCCESSFUL GAME SHOW

who the hell watches a game show for 5 consecutive hours, some of which mustve been just them walking. also, we zoom out of the screen were watching, so implication is that everything up until then has been what the audience has seen. but... we only followed the one team. there were two? why didnt the audience want to see what they were up to? ~reality tv usually thrives on showinf the worst assholes so realistically they wouldve been the focus~

There are also way too many times *both* teams couldve failed, from early on till late in the game. Not a single game i can think of thats played for an audience is set up like that, and especially not a televised one (okay tbf idk if this was televised, i dont remember if i saw cameras, but. it mustve. monetary reasons.)

What r u gonna do if they all 'died' from the monsters in the first ep? Call it a day? boring for the audience. let them restart from scratch? boring for the audience. the existence of an audience messes with everything

AND THEN ANOTHER THING what do you mean, "5 hours ago?" you never get a time stamp to show how long theyve been in there but there are some cuts, when they travel and such. The actual show is a lil over 3 hours runtime. You mean to tell me you sat through 2 hours of the characters just walking?

okay last thing. so. they were clearly second season teasing with the glitching eye thing. i already said this but. theres nowhere to go from here that isnt worse that the first season. your mystery is dead. you clearly know your live action teens cant act so youd have to go back into the game - but why would they do that? how would that be in any way interesting? you explored all there was to explore.

The other, more out there option, is that as you said the 'real world' was a fake-out and theyre still in a game. but. how would- how would you even make that remotely convincing? if youd just left the 'real world' gameshow as animated too this wouldnt have been a problem. but there is absolutely no conceivable reason to justify, in universe, why another meta-level up is 2D animation again unless they were in a game, in a game, in a game. and thats just dumb. yall aint inception

Friend: HONESTLY if they just kept the whole deal animated it'd probably be okay. Not good, but better,

Me: ye me and my sister came to the same conclusion

i couldve lived with that. at least, i couldve just acknowledged the finales existence but chose to ignore it. now however im full phantom planet levels of denial. in fact i dont even know how the show ended anymore, suddenly

Friend: what finale? what show?

Me: also at least now we know why its called The Hollow

it leaves you feeling empty inside

[cute-aggression-9]

I hate the fucking world, to many god damn fuckers it in. to many thoughts about societies all wrapped up together in this place called AMERICA. everyone has their own god damn opinions on every damn thing and you may be saying "well what makes you so different?". because I have something only me and V have, SELF AWARENESS, Call it exortenstiolism or whatever the fuck u want. we know what are to this world and what everyone else is. we learn more than what caused the civil war and how to simplify quadratics in school. we have been watching you people. we know what you think and how you act, all talk and no actions. people who are said to be brave or couragous are usually just STUPID then they say later that they did it on purpose cause they are brave when they did on fucking accident. GOD everything is so corrupt and so filled with opinions little and points of view and peoples' own little agendas and shedules. this isnt a world anymore, its H.O.E. and [no]one knows it. self awareness is a wonderful thing. I know I will die soon, so will you and everyone else. maybe will we be lucky and a comet will smash us back to day 1. people say it is immoral to follow others, they say be a leader. well here is a fuckin news flash for you stupid shits, everyone is a follower! everyone who says they arent a follower and then dresses diff. or acts diff. ... They got that from something they saw on TV or in film or in life. no originality, how many JO MAMMA jokes are there and how many do u think are original and not copied. KEINE. Its a fucking filthy place we live in. all these standards and laws and Great Expectations (webb) are making people into robots even though they might "think" they arent and try to deny it. no matter how hard they try to NOT copy someone I still AM! except for this fucking piece of paper right here, and B.T.W spelling is stupid unless I say. I say spell it how it sounds, it's the fuckin easiest way. hey try this sometime, when someone tells you something, ask "why?" eventually they will be stumped and cant answer anymore. thats because they only know what they need to know in society and school, not real life science. they will end up saying words to this "because! Just shut up!" people that only know stupid facts that arent important should be shot, what fucking use are they. NATURAL SELECTION. KILL all retards, people w/ brain fuck ups, drug adics, people cant figure out to use a fucking lighter. GEEEAWD! people spend millions of dollars on saving the lives of retards, and why. I don't buy that shit like "oh hes my son though!" so the fuck what, he aint normal, kill him, put him out his misery. he is only a waste of time and money, then people say "But he is worth the time, he is human too" no he isnt, if he was then he would swalow a bullet cause he would realize what a fucking waste and burden he was. -- 4/10/98   as I said before, self awareness is a wonderful thing. I know what all you fuckers are thinking and what to do to piss you off and make you feel bad. I always try to be different, but I always end up copying someone else. I try to be a mixture of different things and styles but when I step out of myself I end up looking like others or others THINK I am copying. One big fucking problem Is people telling me what to fuckin do, think, say, act, and everything else. Ill do what you say IF I feel like it. But people (I.E. parents, cops, God, teachers) telling me what to [arrow points to do, think, say, act, and everything else] just makes me not want to fucking do it! thats why my fucking name is REB!!! no one is worthy of shit unless I say they are, I feel like GOD and I wish I was, having everyone being OFFICIALLY lower than me. I already know that I am higher than almost anymore in the fucking welt in terms of universal Intelligence and where we stand in the universe compared to the rest of the UNIV. and if you think I dont know what Im talking about then you can just "ßUCK DICH" and saugen mein Hund! Isnt america supposed to be the land of the free? how come, If im free, I cant deprive a stupid fucking dumbshit from his possessions If he leaves then sitting in the front seat of his fucking van out in plain sight and in the middle fucking nowhere on a Fri fucking day night. NATURAL SELECTION. fucker should be shot. same thing with all those rich snotty toadies at my school. fuckers think they are higher than me and everyone else with all their $ just because they were born into it? Ich denk NEIN. BTW, "sorry" is just a word. it doesnt mean SHIT to me. everyone should be put to a test. an ULTIMATE DOOM test, see who can survive in an environtment using only smarts and military skills. put them in a doom world. no authority, no refuge, no BS copout excuses. If you cant figure out the area of a triangle or what "cation" means, you die! if you cant take down a demon w/ a chainsaw or kill a hell prince w/ a shotgun, you die! fucking snotty rich fuckheads [Censored by J.C.Sheriff Office] who rely on others or on sympathy or $ to get them through life should be put to this challenge. plus it would get rid of all the fat, retarded, crippled, stupid, dumb, ignorant, worthless people of this world. no one is worthy of this planet only me and who ever I choose. there is just no respect for anything higher than your fucking boss or parent. everyone should be shot out into space and only the people I saw should be left behind. 4/12/98 ever wonder why we go to school? besides getting a so called education. its not to obvious to most of you stupid fucks but for these who think a little more and deeper you should realize it. its societies way of turning all the young people into good little robots and factory workers thats why we sit in desks in rows and go by bell schedules, to get prepared for the real world cause "thats what its like". well god damit no it isnt! one thing that seperates us from other animals is the fact that we can carry on actual thoughts. so why don't we?  people go on day by day. rutine shit. why cant we learn in school how we want to. why cant we sit on desks and on shelves and put our feet up and relax while we learn? cause thats not what the "real world is like" well hey fuckheads, there is no such thing as an actual "real world". its just another word like justice, sorry, pity, religion, faith, luck and so on. we are humans. if we dont like something we have the fucking ability to change! but we dont, atleast U dont. I would. U just whine/bitch thoughtout life but never do a goddamn thing to change anything. "man can eat, drink, fuck, and hunt and anything else he does is madness" - Based on Lem's quote. boy oh fuckin boy is that true. when I go NBK, and people say things like, "oh it was so tragic," or "oh he is crazy!" or "It was bloody!" I think, so the fuck what, you think thats a bad thing? just because your mommy and daddy told you blood and violence is bad, you think its a fucking law of nature? wrong, only science and math are true, everything, and I mean everyfuckingthing else is man made. my doctor wants to put me on medication to stop thinking about so many things and to stop getting angry. well, I think that anyone doesnt like me is just bullshitting themselves. try it sometime if you think you are worthy, which you probly will you little shits, drop all your beliefs and views and ideas that have been burned into your head and try to think about why your here. but I bet most of you fuckers cant even think that deep, so that is why you must die. how dare you think that I and you are part of the same species when we are sooooooo different. you arent human you are a Robot. you dont take advantage of your capabilites given to you at birth. you just drop them and hop onto the boat and headdown the stream of life with all the other fuckers of your type. well god damit I wont be a part of it! I have thought to much, realized to much, found out to much, and I am to self aware to just stop what I am thinking and go back to society because what I do and think isnt "right" or "morally accepted" NO, NO, NO GOD FUCKING DAMIT NO!I will sooner die than betray my own thoughts. but before I leave this worthless place, I will kill who ever I deam unfit for anything at all. especially life. and i fyou pissed me off in the past, you will die if I see you. because you might be able to piss off others and have it eventually all blow over, but not me. I dont forget people who wronged me. like [Censored by J.C. Sheriff Office] he will never get a chance to read this because he will be dead by me before this is discovered  -- 4/21/98 The human race sucks. human nature is smuthered out by society, jobs, and work and school. instincts are deleted by laws. I see people say things that contradict themselves, or people that dont take any advantage to the gift of human life. they waste their minds on memorizing the stats of every college basketball player or how many words should be an a report when they should be using their brain on more important things. the human race isnt worth fighting for anymore. WWII was the last war worth fighting and was the last time human life and human brains did any good any made us proud. now, with the government having scandals and conspiracies all over the fucking place and lying to everyone all the time and with worthless pointless mindless discraceful TV shows on (scratched out) and with everyone ub-fucking-sessed with hollywood and beauty and fame and glamour and politics and anything famous, people just arent worth saving. Society may not realize what is happening but I have; you go to school, to get used to studying and learning how youre "supposed to" so that drains or filters out a little bit of human nature. but thats after your parents taught you whats right and wrong even though you may think differently, you still must to have more of your human nature blown out of your ass. society trys to make everyone act the same by burying all human nature and instincts. Thats what school, laws, jobs, and parents do If they realize it or not and them, the few who stick to their natural instincts are casted out as psychos or lunatics or strangers or just plain different. crazy, strange, weird, wild, these words are not bad or degrading.. if humans were let to live how we would naturaly it would be chaos and anarchy and the human race wouldnt probably last that long, but hey guess what, thats how its supposed to be!!!!! society and goverments are only created to have order and calmness, which is exactly the opposite of pure human nature. take away all your laws and morals and just see what you can do. if the goverment was one entity it would be thinking "hey, lets make some order here and calm these crazy fucks down so we can be constructive and fight other goverments in our own little so called self created "civilizied world" and get rid of all those damn insticts everyone has" well shit I'm to tired wright anymor tonight, so until next time, fuck you all -- 5/6/98   It has been confirmed, after getting my yearboook and watching people like [censored] and [censored] the human race isn't worth fighting for, only worth killing. give the Earth back to the animals, they deserve it infinitely more than we do. nothing means anything more, most quotes are worthless, especially the rearranged ones like "dont fight your enemies, make your enemies fight" you know, quotes that use the same phrase just rearranged, Dumbfuck shit [illegible] wear. its funny, people say "you shouldn't be so different." to me, and 1st I say fuck you dont tell me what I should and shouldn't be and 2ND mother fuckers different is good, I dont want to be like you or anyone which is almost impossible this day w/ all the little shits trying to be "original-copycats", I expect shits like you to criticize anyone who isnt one of your social words; "normal" or "civilized" - see tempest and Caliban.  allyou degrading worthless shits. all caught up and brainwashed into the 90's society. "what? you AREN'T going to college, are you are crazy!" holy SHIT that is one fucking BIG Quote that just proves my point. step back and look at yourself fuckers, I dare you, maybe I'll get lucky and you'll step back to far like Nick in Elm3. w/ the same concequence.  -- 5/9/98  wooh, different pen. HA! alright you pathetic fools listen up; I have figured it out. the human race strives for exellence in life and community always wanting to bring more =good= into the comm. and nulify =bad= things. anyone who thinks differently than the majority or the leaders is deamed "unusual" or weird or crazy. people want to be a part of something; a family, a service, a club, a union, a community, whatever. thats what humans want. who cares waht you as an individual thinks, you must do what you are told, whether it is jump of a bridge or drive on the right side of the road. protesters in the past protested because the human race that was dominant (Ghandi and the Brits or the king and the americans) wasnt working out = they had fault = they failed = their ideas didnt work. humans dont change that much, they only get better technology to do their work quicker/easier. people always say we shouldnt be racist. why not? Blacks ARE different, like it or not they are. they started on the bottom so why not keep em there. it took the centuries to convince us that they are equal but they still use their color as an excuse or they just discriminate us because we are white. Fuck you, we should ship yer black asses back to Afri-fucking-ca were you came from. we brought you here and we will take you back. America=White. Gays....well all gays, ALL gays, should be killed.  mit keine fragen. lesbians are fun to watch if they are hot but still, its not human. its a fucking disease. you dont see bulls or roosters trying to fuck do you? no, I didn't think so. women you will always be under men. its been seen throughout nature, males are almost always doing the dangerous shit while the women stay back. its your animal instincts, deal with it or commit suicide, just do it quick. thats all for now. -- 5/20/98   If you recall your history the Nazis came up with a "final solution" to the Jewish problem... kill them all. well incase you havent figured it out yet, I say, "K I L L  M A N K I N D" no one should survive. we all live in lies. people are saying they want to live in a perfect society, well utopia doesnt exist. It is human to have flaws.   you know what, Fuck it. why should I have to explain myself to you survivors when half of the shit I say you shitheads wont understand and if you can then woopie fucking do. that just means you have something to say as my reason for killing. and the majority of the audience wont even understand my motives either! they'll say "ah, hes crazy, hes insane, oh well, I wonder if the bulls won." you see! it's fucking worthless! all you fuckers should die! DIE! what the fuck is the point if onlu some people see what I am saying, there will always be ones who dont, ones that are to dumb or naive or ignorrant or just plain retarded. If I cant pound it into every single persons head then it is pointless. fuck mercy fuck justic fuck morals fuck civilized fuck rules fuck laws... DIE manmade words...people think they apply to everything when they dont/cant. theres no such thing as True Good or True Evil, its all relative to the observer. its just all nature, chemistry, and math. deal with it. but since dealing with it seems impossible for mankind, since we have to slap warning labels on nature, then... you die. burn, melt, evaporate, decay, just go the fuck away!!!! YAAAAAH!!!! - 6/12/98- KEIN MITLEID "when in doubt, confuse the hell out the enemy" - Fly 9/2/98 wait mercy doesnt exist....   heres something to chew on....: today I saw a program on the discovery channel about satelites and radar and aircraft and stuff, and at the end of the show the narrator said some things that made me think "damn, we are so advanced, we kick ass, america is awesome, we have so many things in our military, we would kick anyones ass." for a minute I actually had some pride in our nation.... then I realized, "hey, this only the Good things that I am seeing here. only the Pros, not the cons. maybe thats what people see, only the Pros, and thats why they are under control. but me, I see all... you can only blind me for so long. but alas, I have realized that Yes, the human race is still indeed doomed. It just needs a few kick starts, like me, and hell, maybe even [censored]. If can whipe a few cities off the map, and even the fuckhead Holding the map, then great. hmm, just thinking if I want ALL humans dead or maybe just the quote-unquote "civilized, developed, and known-of" places on Earth. maybe leave little tribes of natives in the rain forest er something. hmm, I'll think about that. eh. done for tonight -REB- 6/13/98   As part of the human race, and having the great pleasure of being blessed with a brain, I can think.  Humans can do whatever they want. There are no laws of nature that prevent humans from making choices. maybe from actually DOING some of those choices, but not from making the choice. If a man choosses to speed while driving home one day, then it is his fault for whatever happens. If he crashes into a school bus full of kidies and they all burn to death, its his fault. Its only a tragedy if you think it is, and then its only a tragedy in your own mind. so you shouldn't expect others to think that way also. it could also be a miracle for another person. maybe the bus stopped the car from plowing into a little old lady walking on the sidewalk. one could think it was a "miracle" that she wasnt hit. you see, anything and everything that happens in our world is just that, a HAPPENING. anything else is relative to the observer, but yet we try to have a "universal law" or "code" of what is good and bad and that just isnt fucking correct. we shouldn't be allowed to do that. we arent GODS. just because we are at the top of the food chain with our technology doesnt mean we can be "judges" of nature. sure we can think what we can think what we want, but you can "think" and "believe" you can judge people and nature all you want, but you are still wrong! why should your morals apply to everyone else. "morale" is just another word. and thats it. I think we are all a waste of natural resources and should be killed off, and since humans have the ability to choose... and I'm human... I think I will choose to kill and damage as much as nature allows me to so take that. fuck you, and eat napalm + lead! HA! only Nature can stop me. I know I could get shot by a cop after only killing a single person, but hey guess the fuck WHAT! I chose to kill that one person so get over it! Its MY fault! not my parents, not my brothers, not my friends, not my favorite bands, not computer games, not the media. IT is MINE! go shut the fuck up! -REB- 7/29/98     someones bound to say "what were they thinking?" when we go NBK or when we were planning it, so this what I am thinking. "I have a goal to destroy as much as possible so I must not be sidetracked by my feelings of sympathy, mercy, or any of that, so I will force myself to believe that everyone is just another monster from Doom like FH or FS or demons, so It's either me or them. I have to turn off my feelings." keep this is mind, I want to burn the world, I want to kill everyone except about 5 people, who I will name later, so If you are reading this you are lucky you escaped my rampage because I wanted to kill you. It will be very tricky getting all of our supplies, explosives, weaponry, ammo, and then hiding it all and then actually planting it all so we can achieve our goal. but if we get busted any time, we start killing then and there, just like Wilks from the AlIENS books, I aint going out without a fight. Once I finally start my killing, keep this in mind, there are probably about 100 people max in the school alone who I dont want to die, the rest, MUST FUCKING DIE! If I didnt like you or if you pissed me off and lived through my attacks, consider yourself one lucky god damn NIGGER. Pity that a lot of the dead will be a waste in someways, like dead hot chicks who were still bitches, they could have been good fucks. oh well, too fucking bad. life isnt fair... not by a long fuckin shot when Im at the wheel, too. God I want to torch and level everything in this whole fucking area but Bombs of that size are hard to make, and plus I would need a fuckin fully loaded A-10 to get every store on wadsworth and all the buildings downtown. heh, Imagine THAT ya fuckers, picture half of denver on fire just from me and Vodka. napalm on sides of skyscrapers and car garages blowing up from exploded gas tanks.... oh man that would be beautiful. -- 10/23/98   you know what, I feel like telling about lies. I lie a lot. almost constant. and to everybody, just to keep my own ass out of the water. and by the way (side note) I dont think I am doing this for attention, as some people may think. lets see, what are some big lies I have told; "yeah I stopped smoking," "for doing it not for getting caught," "no I'm havent been making more bombs," "no I wouldn't do that," and of course, countless of other ones, and yeah I know that I hate liers and I am one myself, oh fucking well. Its ok If I am a hypocrite, but no one else. because I am higher then you people, no matter what you say if you disagree I would shoot you And I am one racist mother fucker too, fuck the niggers and spics and chinks, unless they are cool, but sometimes they are so fucking retarded they deserve to be ripped on. some people go through life begging to be shot. and white fucks are just the same. if I could nuke the world I would, because so far I hate you all. there are probly around 10 people I wouldnt want to die, but hey, who ever said life is fair should be shot like the others too. - 11/1/98   heh heh heh. I sure had fun this weekend. lets see, what really happened. before going to the Rock n Bowl we stopped by King Soopers and one and [censored] picked up some big ass stoges. we then went to the Rock n Bowl and I had a few cigarettes and one of brand new cigars. we then went back to [censored] house where her mom had previousely bought us all a fuck load of liquor. personally I had asked for Tequilla and Irish cream, Vodka got his vodka, and there was beer, whiskey, schnopps, puckers, scotch and of course, orange juice! so we had some fun there playing cards and making drinks. we eventually made it to bed at about 5AM. got up at 10, went to safeway got some donouts and then I took Vodka home. the bottle of Tequilla is almost full and is in car, right by my spare tire and right by the bottle of irish cream. heh heh. I'll have to find a spot for those. and by the way, this nazi report is boosting my love of killing even more. like the early Nazi government, my brain is like a sponge, sucking up everything that sounds cool and leaving out all that is worthless, thats how Nazism was formed and thats how I will be too! 11/8/98   Fuck you Brady! all I want is a couple of guns, and thanks to your fucking bill I will probably not get any! come on, I'll have a clean record and I only want for personal protection. Its not like I'm some person who would go on a shooting spree.... fuckers. Ill probably end up nuking everything and fucking robbing some gun collectors house. Fuck, thatll be be hard. oh well, just as long as I kill a lot of fucking people. Everyone is always making fun of me because of how I look, how fucking weak I am and shit, well I will get you all back: ultimate fucking revenge here. you people could have shown more respect, treated me better, asked for my knowledge or guidence more, treated me more like senior, and maybe I wouldn't have been as ready to tear your fucking heads off. then again, I have always hated how I looked, I make fun of people who look like me, sometimes without even thinking sometimes just because I want to rip on myself. Thats where a lot of my hate grows from, the fact that I have practically no selfesteem, especially concerning girls and looks and such. therefore people make fun of me... constantly... therefore I get no respect and therefore I get fucking PISSED. as of this date I have enough explosives to kill about 100 people, and then if I get a couple bayonetts, swords, axes, whatever I'll be able to kill at least 10 more. and that just isnt enough! GUNS! I need guns! Give me some fucking firearms! 11/12/98   HATE! I'm full of hate and I Love it. I HATE PEOPLE and they better fucking fear me if they know whats good for em. yes I hate and I guess I want others to know it, yes I'm racist and I don't mind. Niggs and spics bring it on themselves, and another thing, I am very racist towards white trash p.o.s.s like [censored] and [censored] they deserve the hatred, otherwise I probly wouldnt hate them. Its a tragedy, the human nature of people will lead to their downfall. Peoples human nature will get them killed. whether by me or Vodka, Its happened before, and not just in school shootings like those pussy dumbasses over in Minnesota who squeeled. throughtout history, Its our fucking nature! I know how people are and why and I cant stand it! I love the nazis too... by the way, I fucking cant get enough of the swastika, the SS, and the iron cross. Hitler and his head boys fucked up a few times and it cost them the war, but I love their beliefs and who they were, what they did, and what they wanted. I know that form of gov couldn't have lasted long once the human equation was brought in, but damnit it sure looked good. every form of gov leads to downfalls, everything will always fuck up or yeah something. its all DOOMed god damnit. this is beginning to make me get in a corner. I'm showing too much of myself, my views and thoughts, people might start to wonder, smart ones will get nosey and something might happen to fuck me over, I might need to put on one helluva mask here to fool you all some more. fuck fuck fuck it'll be very fucking hard to hold out until April. If people would give me more compliments all of this might still be avoidable... but probably not. Whatever I do people make fun of me, and sometimes directly to my face. I'll get revenge soon enough. fuckers shouldn't have ripped on me so much huh! HA! then again its human nature to do what you did... so I guess I am also attacking the human race. I cant take it, Its not right... true... correct... perfect. I fucking hate the human equation. Nazism would be fucking great if it werent for individualism and our natural instinct to ask questions. you know what maybe I just need to get laid. maybe that'll just change some shit around. thats another thing, I am a fucking dog. I have fantasies of just taking someone and fucking them hard and strong. someone like [censored] were I just pick her up, take her to my room, tear off her shirt and pants and just eat her out and fuck her hard. I love flesh... weisses fleisch! dein weisses fleisch emegt mich soo... Ich bin dech nur ein gigilo! I want to grab a few different girls in my gym class, take them into a room, pull their pants off and fuck them hard. I love flesh... the smooth legs, the large breasts, the innocent flawless body, the eyes, the hair; jet black, blond, white, brown. ahhh I just want to fuck! call it teenage hormones or call it a crazy fuckin racist rapist... BJ ist mir egal. I just want to be surrounded by the flesh of a woman, someone like [censored] who I wanted to just fuck like hell, she made me practically drool, when she wore those shorts to work.. instant hard on. I couldnt stop staring. and others like [censored] in my gym class, [censored] or whatever in my gym class, and others who I just want to overpower and engulf myself in them. mmmm I can taste the sweet flesh now... the salty sweat, the animalistic movement... Iccchhh... lieeebe...... fleisccchhhh. who can I trick into my room first? I can sweep someone off their feet, tell them what they want to hear, be all nice and sweet, and then "fuck em like an animal, feel them from the inside" as Reznor said. oh... thats something else... that one NIN video I saw, broken or closer or something, the where the guy is kidnapped and tortured like hell... actual hell. I want to do that too. I want to tear a throat out with my own teeth like a pop can. I want to gut someone with my hand, to tear a head off and rip out the heart and lungs from the neck, to stab someone in the gut, shove it up to the heart, and yank the fucking blade out of their rib cage! I want to grab some weak little freshman and just tear them apart like a fucking wolf. show them who is god. strangle them, squish their head, bite their temples into the skull, rip off their jaw. rip off their colar bones, break their arms in half and twist them around, the lovely sounds of bones cracking and flesh ripping, ahh... so much to do and so little chances. -- 11/17/98 "weisses fleisch" - perfect - song - for - me   Well folks, today was a very important day in the history of R. Today along with Vodka and someone else who I wont name, we went downtown and purchased the following; a double barrel 12ga. shotgun, a pump action 12ga. shotgun, a 9mm carbine, 250 9mm rounds, 15 12ga slugs, 40 shotgun shells, 2 switch blade knives, and total of 4 - 10 round clips for the carbine. we....... have.... GUNS! we fucking got em you sons of bitches! HA! HAHAHA! neener! Booga Booga. heh. its all over now. this capped it off, the point of no return. I have my carbine, shotgun, ammo and knife all in my trunk tonight and theyll there till tomorrow... after school you know its really a shame. I had a lot of fun at that gun show, I would have loved it if you were there dad. we would done some major bonding. would have been great. oh well. but, alas, I fucked up and told [censored] about my "flask". that really disappoints me. [censored] I know you thought it was good for me... in the long run and all that shit, smart of you to give me a such big raise and then rat me out, you figure it was supposed to cancel each other? god damn flask, that just fucked me over big time. now you all will be on my ass even more than before about being on track. I'll get around it though, If have to cheat and lie to everyone then thats fine. THIS is what I am motivated for, THIS is my goal. THIS is what I want to do with my life! you know whats weird, I dont feel like a punching through a door because of the flask deal, probly cause I am fucking armed now. I feel more confident, stronger, and more Godlike. I have confidence in my ability to dese(cei)ve people. hopefully Ill make it to April, but that might not happen. Ug, Its been a busy weekend, I need to sleep, I'll continue tomorrow. 11/22/98   yesterday we fired our first actual firearms ever. 3 rounds from the carbine. taught that ground a thing or 2. I even had the 2 clips in my pocket while talking to vodkas dad about senior ditch day. God it felt great firing off that bad boy, and hopefully I'll be able to get more than just 4 clips for it. I dubbed my shotgun "Arlene" after Arlene Sanders from the DOOM books. She always did love the shotgun. Vodka's DB is looking very fucking awesome, all cut down to the proper lengths. this is a bitch trying to keep up on homework while working on my guns, bombs, and lying. by the way, I bought that flask in the mall and I had a friend fill it up w/ scotch whiskey, only had about 3 swigs in the 3 weeks I had it. plus monday I gave my T and IC to Vodka, just in case. I never really did like alcohol, just wasn't my thing, but It felt good to just have around. that argument on the 22nd was a real bitch, but I think I should have won a fucking oscar. I even quoted a few movies, remember "what the hell am I gonna do now man?! what am I gonna do!?" thats good ole Hudson from aliens. Sounded good too. and hey goddamnit I would have been a fucking great marine, It would have given me a reason to do good. and I would never drink and drive, either. It will be weird when we actually go on the rampage. hopefully we will have plenty of clips and bombs. Im gonna still try and get my calico 9mm. just think, 100 rounds without reloading.... hell yeah! We actually may have a chance to get some machine pistols thanks to the Brady bill. If we can save up about 200$ real quick and find someone who is 21+ we can go to the next gun show and find a private dealer and buy ourselves some bad-ass AB-10 machine pistols. Clips for those things can get really fucking big too. 12/3/98   Woohoo, I'll never have to take a final again! feels good to be free. I just love Hobbes and Nietzche. Well tomorrow I'll be ordering 9 more 10 round clips for my carbine. I'm gonna be so fucking loaded in about a month. the big things we need to figure now is the time bombs for the commons and how we will get them in and leave then there to go off, without any fucking Jews finding them. I wonder if anyone will write a book on me. sure is a ton of symbolism, double meanings, themes, appearance vs reality shit going on here. oh well, it better be fuckin good if it is writtin. 12/17/98   heh, get this. KMFDM's new album is entitled  "Adios" and it's release date is in April. how fuckin appropriate, a subliminal final "Adios" tribute to Reb and Vodka. thanks KMFDM... I ripped the hell outa the system 12/20/98  jesus christ that was fucking close. fucking shitheads at the gun shop almost dropped the whole project. oh well, thank god I can BS so fucking well. I went and picked up those babies today, so now I got 13 of those niggers. WOOHAH. the stereo is very nice, but having no insurance payments to worry about so I could concentrate of BOMBS would have been better. oh well, I think I'll have enough. now I just need to get Vodka another gun. 12/29/98   Months have passed. Its the first Friday night in the final month. much shit has happened. Vodka has a Tec 9, we test fired all of our babies, we have 6 time clocks ready, 39 crickets, 24 pipe bombs, and the napalm is under construction. Right now I'm trying to get fucked and trying to finish off these time bombs. NBK came quick. why the fuck cant I get any? I mean, I'm nice and considerate and all that shit, but nooooo. I think I try to hard. but I kinda need to considering NBK is closing in. The amount of dramatic irony and foreshadowing is fucking amazing. Everything I see and I hear I incorporate into NBK somehow. Either bombs, clocks, guns, napalm, killing people, any and everything finds some tie to it. feels like a Goddamn movie sometimes. I wanna try to put some mines and trip bombs around this town too maybe. Get a few extra flags on the scoreboard. I hate you people for leaving me out of so many fun things. And no don't fucking say, "well thats your fault" because it isnt, you people had my phone #, and I asked and all, but no. no no no dont let the weird looking Eric KID come along, ohh fucking nooo. 4/3/99

[a-magpie-witchling]

KAY CRAFTY WITCHY HOES GATHER UP

Does this count as a witch post? I don’t know, but there’s a lot of cursing and I hurt myself and I know y’all like that

kinky little bastards

SO ANYWAY

I may or may not be an alcoholic, but the important thing is that I’ve got a lot and I mean a LOT of champagne corks, so I said to myself “hey, I should do something C R A F T Y with these, else they’ll end up as buttplugs which wouldn’t be too sanitary.”

Although I’m sure I could make some fat cash out of that…

TOO LATE TO BACK UP NOW BECAUSE I ALREADY GATHERED MY MATERIALS

WHICHS IS ACTUALLY A LIE BECAUSE I TOOK THAT PIC AFTER I WAS DONE

bitches will say it’s censored not to show the final result

SO OUR MATERIALS ARE

oh wait I haven’t told you what we’re making haha

we’re making magickal stamps. there. happy? come for the crafty shit, stay for the impeccable writing.

SO OUR MATERIALS ARE!

Champagne corks or really pretty much any sort of soft cork or rubber shit although I highly recommend champagne's because it’s much softer

Something to draw on

Something to draw with

The SHITTIEST scissors around I mean that crap should be so useless it makes you go “a lesbian scissor cuts more than this, why do we even still have this thing”. It’s very important that you get the scissors so we end up not using them.

An [infomercial voice] X-acto Knife©®℗™… PFFT. Forget that gringo shit, get something sharp and pointy, a scalpel would be good for precision but don’t fret. In the meanwhile also take the time to shank a bitch.

Some tissues becase I’m a mucus volcano and hadn’t stopped sneezing in two days

Now basically you will find two kinds of corks:

Cold weather and warm weather *snorts at own joke*. Go with the mushy soft one (right) because the one in the left is too compressed and will be a pain in the ass *snorts again* to carve.

Now at this point I’m there taking pictures looking like a total pro and behaving totally C R A F T Y (whenever I say that you gotta picture that glittery music in the background)

BUT ON THE INSIDE I’M LIKE OMG WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO I’VE NEVER EVEN DONE THIS SHIT BEFORE ALRIGHT SO I GUESS I SHOULD CHOOSE SOMETHING TO CARVE

So I go to Google and I’m like “maybe a heart? Maybe a triangle? Maybe a pictorial representation of my crushing depression?”

But then I’m like well, what’s my name? Rihanna The MAGPIE Witchling!

So I found a lot more minimalist magpie silhouettes than I would have expected, I drew my own based on that 

And hOLY FUCK IT’S REALLY UGLY.

And don’t even get me STARTED on those nails

Queen Cristine would be so disappointed

Look at that

That’s the face of a disillusioned senpai.

Maybe I should try her Trump nails

Wait, what was I talking about?

OH YEAH

C R A F T Y S H I T

So I took my initial “””design””” and kind of tried to reproduce it on the cork?

WE NEED SOME MUSIC TO MOVE ON AND MAYBE SOME TEQUILA CON SAL BENDECIDA CON SOL BECAUSE SHIT, THIS JUST GOT UGLIER.

Now, be smart kids. You don’t HAVE to try and recreate the original drawing, you can use carbonic paper, cut the normal paper neatly and then trace the silhouette, etc. 

But aunt Rami is a fucking idiot so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Final result:

And let me tell you doing this was a LOT easier than I would have expected. Like, I seriously was prepared to realize this had been a waste of time, that I’m painfully useless for this shit, etcétera. But no! The cork was REALLY easy to carve (I secretly have an open tab with only the word carve in it ‘cause I don’t remember if it’s carve or crave. Fuck the English language).

So I decide to try it out 

And sistah this is my first attempt at this and I already feel like a fucking PRO. 

But the main problem is that the image is too small and complex, I think. So then I’m like “Imagine [all the people] if the original design wasn’t ABSOLUTE TRASH.”

So what do I do?

PLAGIARIZE, OF COURSE.

I found this image by Julie Magers Soulen and I’m pretty sure that it’s actually a photograph instead of a minimalist drawing in which case HOLY FUCK, GIRL

And I kinda tried to reproduce it on a cork but it was just too large so I cut one in through the center vertically and I ALMOST FUCKING SLICED MY PINKY IN TWO LIKE FUCKING BYE BYE LIBRA MOUNT WE’RE LEAVING CHIROMANCY AND MOVING SOLELY TO TAROTISM.

Aaaafter cleaning the blood from all over the place, I chose to use a kitchen knife like a normal human being to cut the cork in half.

I fucked up because I did it in two slices, which ultimately gave me a slightly uneven pressing surface. Don’t make my mistakes, son… Be the better man *fake mustache proceeds to fall from my upper lip*

In the meanwhile my phone vibrates and hey guys! #shoutout

BACK TO THE GODDAMNED BIRD (that’s all this blog is about, seriously. And no. There’s no such thing as going to the point in my religion.)

This is the final stamp. Mh, not half bad. Let’s try it out.

So after messing up with the ink a dozen times I realize that since I’m using PRINTER INK it’s way too liquid, so I let it dry for a couple of minutes and finally

OMG

FUCKING LOOK AT THAT.

IT’S TOO BEAUTIFUL.

I MADE THAT.

THAT’S MY CHILD.

#PARENTALPRIDE

That’s how it looks without so much fucking liquidy pansy ink.

AND BRUH, I’VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR LIKE, FIFTEEN MINUTES.

Ok, that’s a “””very pretty””” stamp, Rami, but, like what does that have to do with witchcraft?

Huh? Oh, nothing, this is shameless self promotion, I just filled your dashboard with magpies.

AH! WAIT! I CAN MAKE SOMETHING UP!

No but really, I will use these stamps on my grimoire and hear me out

SIGIL STAMPS.

Like, say you’re feeling generous. Make a lucky sigil and go around town with your sigil stamp and an ink pad leaving it on the floor, the corners of signs…

If the ink is washable that doesn’t even count as vandalism xD

Also, if you are careful enough with the carving of the negative space and give the cork stamp a nice thick layer of a protective spray or liquid, you can even use these as wax stamps!

Use beetroot ink and stamp your sigils on the leaves of your plants. Use permanent ink and mark your witchy jars. Soften the wax of your candles and use your stamps to leave a mark in them.

And we spent like… only the money we used for the booze in this!

MAKE THE BEST OUT OF YOUR ALCOHOLISM (?

I had a picture of me giving a thumbs up but you could see a bit of my face, so, safety reasons, ha. INSTEAD HAVE A CRAFTY MAGPIE YAY. SEE WHAT I DID THERE!?

-Semiramis, The Magpie Witchling

[seventeen-scenarios-blog]

[SPECIAL] All Your Hate (and all your love) (G)

HEY GUYS GREAT NEWS, WE’VE GOT A NEW ADMIN!!

ADMIN HOSHIT, SAY HI!

A/N: Hi guys! as my name suggests, I’m soonyoung’s trash (even though jihoon is my bias). I write with lots of sarcasm, run-on sentences, parentheses, italics and dashes between words because that’s how i roll ;____: I’ll also sell my soul to the devil for seventeen, memes and The Gay Agenda so feel free to hit me up with any of those :) if anyone has any advice with regards to writing better, please dm/message us (i live for constructive criticism) 

HOSHIT ROLL OUT \0/

Prompt: Mingyu and Minghao as neighbours  Ship: Minghao x Mingyu  Genre: Crack, fluff Word count: 2,066 Warnings: None!

Minghao was not having a good day.

His cactus’ health has been on a steady decline for two weeks now, and it seems that it had finally decided to kick the metaphorical bucket overnight. Minghao had watched as his cactus had defied the florist’s instructions of “water every two weeks! It’s hardy.” Hardy, his ass. Ever since the cactus had been placed on his window sill to receive optimal levels of sunlight, it had begun its gradual descent into its current state, a withered yellow stick. The knowledge that he was less nurturing than the desert was more than slightly grating on his nerves, and the jaundiced stalk mocked him from its pedestal on the window sill, the bright sunlight at odds with his darkening mood.

What’s worse was that his neighbor, the bane of his existence, an overgrown muscle being, was silent. Suspiciously silent. He should have been listening to wall-shaking music at that time in the morning and generally making a nuisance of himself while working out, and yet there was nothing coming from the other side of the wall.

Strange. Minghao was not about to lower his guard. Ever since that walking accident named Kim Mingyu moved in next to him, his life had lost all semblance of peace. Oh it had started out simple enough, Minghao had a decently good impression of Mingyu when he knocked politely on the door to introduce himself, Mingyu’s good looks deceiving Minghao for the first few hours. Then the cookies that Mingyu brought over had given him a stomachache, which Minghao had (mistakenly!) written off as unsanitary Thai food he’d ordered for dinner. Then the plumbing for the whole floor had gotten clogged (Mingyu had dropped his toilet roll in the toilet and decided to flush, instead of fishing it out like a normal human being). Then Mingyu’s stove had caught on fire (how? HOW?) and caused a building-wide evacuation, which Minghao was certainly not pleased about, his daily dance practice ruined. Then the flu that started from Mingyu and contaminated the floor (in other words, Minghao, as the whole floor only had two apartments). Then the loud exercise music at 8am, a time Minghao considered illegal to wake up at. Then the squirrels. Oh God, the squirrels. Within a month, Mingyu had turned from the handsome-puppy-next-door to devil-incarnate-please-go-back-to-hell-and-stay-there.

Minghao stirred from his half-asleep thoughts. It was time to throw out the cactus and get a new one, pretend nothing had happened and be content in his knowledge that he had a green thumb and all of his plants flourished and none of them have ever died on him yet (Minghao’s plants have never lasted beyond their third week, which, coincidentally, was the record that this cactus had set before its untimely death that morning). Maybe he would even do a Viking funeral for this one to celebrate its longevity and its part in the ongoing war that is Minghao’s attempts to cultivate a living being other than himself.

The boat prepared, the sink full of water, Minghao poured the cactus and its wet soil out of its vase and into the paper boat. It was time for the send-off. Wait, wet soil? Minghao never watered his plants. With a curse, Minghao lifted the boat out of the face of its impending watery doom and tossed it into the bin, Viking funeral be-damned. There was only one person who could have committed such a foul deed, and that person was Kim Mingyu.

Seething, Minghao wrenched open his apartment door, not even bothering to change out of his pink bunny slippers and hammered on Mingyu’s door.

“KIM MINGYU! OPEN UP! HOW DARE YOU! MISTER CACTUS NUMBER FIVE WAS MY FAVOURITE CACTUS! COME OUT AND OWN UP!”

The apartment remained silent. In a fit of anger, Minghao twisted the door knob, not expecting the door knob to actually turn and grant him access to the devil’s lair. That idiot… Minghao could hardly believe his eyes. He knew his neighbor was not exactly the smartest person but to leave his apartment unlocked was an act that was inconceivable. Unless this was part of Mingyu’s grand plan? To aggravate Minghao in the hopes that he would get angry, try the door knob, go into his house and wreck it, and Mingyu would be able to call the police and capture Minghao while Mingyu laughed evilly and watch as the police dragged Minghao-the-trespasser to jail where he would die old and alone? No, Mingyu was not capable of a plan that required an intelligence level higher than a seal.

Minghao giggled—no he laughed in a deep and manly way, as he entered the demon’s apartment, half expecting Mingyu to be lurking around exorcist-esque, where the main character would enter a seemingly empty room and be relieved, only to realise that the demon was behind him all the while. With this thought, Minghao whipped his head around and checked behind him just in case Mingyu was really there waiting in ambush. The empty umbrella stand gazed mournfully back at him. Embarrassed, Minghao turned to survey the apartment. It dawned on him that with the unexpected entry to the house, he actually had no idea what to do next.

He’d dreamt of getting back at Mingyu for weeks, but none of his plans actually involved going into Mingyu’s house because it was absurd that he would be able to. And yet, Minghao stands in Mingyu’s house, with no Mingyu in sight.

There was a thud from above, and Minghao jerked, because what if Mingyu came back. But it was just Chan from apartment 151, and unbidden, Chan’s story of how he pranked his brother rose to mind. Chan had moved all the furniture in his brother’s house one inch to the right, because “that big oaf wouldn’t be able to tell the difference”, and had a gleeful two hours of confusion from his brother before he was found out. That had sparked a whole chain of pranks that had required a whole month of dance classes with Minghao to recount in full.

Minghao blurred to action, moving all the furniture he could, just enough to throw Mingyu off, but not enough that Mingyu would find out for, he hoped, at least a day. In just a few moments, most of Mingyu’s furniture was sufficiently moved to his liking, and Minghao threw in a victorious door slam as he bounded back towards his apartment to wait for Mingyu to come back from wherever he went.

A mere half an hour later, a crash heralded Mingyu’s arrival, because of course even after twenty years of existence that tree of a man still hadn’t figured out how to navigate flat surfaces. Minghao almost felt bad.

A flurry of self-censored curses flew from next door as Minghao listened on in bliss. It seemed like Mingyu had found the slightly rearranged shoe rack. “FLYING FISHCAKES!” and the couch, if Minghao could be so bold as to hazard a guess. “MOTHER FATHER!” and maybe the lamp. Minghao was in heaven.  

Two days of life interjected with strangely creative curses later, Minghao found himself re-evaluating Mingyu’s intelligence level. It seemed that Mingyu had an IQ that was less comparable to a dog, which was what Minghao had originally thought, and more comparable to a tree. That insufferable man emulated them in height after all, it wasn’t too much of a stretch to say that he also had brains similar to the foliage that Minghao was incapable of growing.

Minghao despaired. The overgrown child that was his neighbor did not even swear properly, instead resorting to substitute words that made even less sense as time went on. Lately, he’d been on a bug phase, and Minghao was tired of hearing different species of insects being shouted at him through a wall.

“DUNGBEETLE!”

Aggravated and yet somewhat sorry, Minghao ran next door, ready to confess to Mingyu what he had done. It seemed like he was growing soft in old age, having already forgiven Mingyu for all the wrongs that he had committed after only two days of, admittedly, pain-filled revenge.

Mingyu’s doorbell was an oddly cute ring unbefitting of a man in his twenties, but Mingyu emerged quickly, looking like a kicked puppy as he rubbed his knee. The man brightened up instantly at the sight of Minghao, a smile curving across his face as he greeted “Minghao! What brings you over? Would you like some tea?”

As Mingyu rambled on, Minghao stood still in shock over how adorable Mingyu looked when he opened the door oh my God what is going on Xu Minghao get a grip. When Mingyu’s string of random phrases finally came to an end, Minghao blurted “I moved all your furniture a little when you were out two days ago, it’s why you’ve been bumping into your stuff a lot more these few days, but it’s only because you watered my cactus and it died! We’re even now so don’t bump into your furniture anymore!” He made to run off, but Mingyu’s hand on his bicep stopped him.

Sheepishly, Minghao turned to meet Mingyu’s eyes, only to see that Mingyu’s face was pink and ashamed.

“I’m sorry about your cactus. You told me the first time we met that your plants always died because you didn’t water them enough, so I watered your cactus for you since I can reach your pot from the window, but I’m also a bad gardener so your cactus died anyway. It’s my fault, I’ll buy you a new cactus.”

Minghao was incredulous. He remembered that I don’t water plants so he watered them for me?

“How about you come in, and we can sit down and you can tell me what kind of cactus you want? Or we can go to the florist to pick one out?”

The situation was changing too quick for Minghao to even understand what was going on. It was almost as if he was just a bystander watching events unfold, but with no context whatsoever.  

“So why did you start watering my plants?” Minghao decided to change the topic and get at least one answer to the list of questions that he had for Mingyu.

Mingyu visibly startled, before taking a deep breath and ushering Minghao to the couch.

“I suppose I might as well say it. I like you, Minghao. Ever since I moved next door, I’ve been trying to ask you out but there’s never been a right moment. You’ve avoided me like the plague as well, so I just wanted to have some sort of contact with your life, however indirect.”

Speechless, Minghao sat. He had never encountered someone willing to do so much for a guy who “avoided him like the plague”, and frankly, it was flattering. He’d thought about Mingyu before too, before Mingyu started wreaking havoc on his life.  Speaking of which…

“How did your stove catch on fire two weeks ago?”

Mingyu immediately covered his face and mumbled “I was trying to cook but I heard music from your house and went over to see what was going on. You were dancing and it looked so cool that I forgot about my pancakes. And then the fire alarm started.”

“Huh.” Was all Minghao could say. They sat in silence for a while, each mulling over what had just transpired. The sharp whistle of the kettle prompted Mingyu to make the tea, and while he was gone, Minghao considered his options.

Clearly, Mingyu was interested. And cute. And Minghao wasn’t opposed to getting to know Mingyu better, the clumsy attempts of Mingyu to win him over strangely endearing. The cons were that Mingyu awoke at ungodly hours, but Minghao supposed that it could be trained out of Mingyu quickly.

Mingyu sat the mugs down, and Minghao, cradling his mug, said “I’m willing to give you—or us, a chance. Let’s get to know each other better first.”

Mingyu’s despondent face (God why is that so cute?) immediately changed, a wide smile taking the place of the pout.

“Really?”

“Yes, Mingyu. So where do we go from here?” Minghao would be damned if he ever told anyone about how adorable Mingyu looked if he smiled. Perhaps if he hadn’t avoided Mingyu all the time he would have had a better impression of Mingyu and become friends with him earlier.

“How about a coffee?”

“Lead the way.”

[idolisnotdead]

Seiko Oomori - kitixxxgaia - Review

If you’ve read this blog before, you probably have a pretty good idea of my completely unbiased admiration for Seiko Oomori and everything she does. “Unbiased”.

So let’s just get to it. Less than a year, by about two weeks maybe to be precise, Seiko Oomori follows up her critically acclaimed major sophomore album (fourth overall) TOKYO BLACK HOLE with something even bigger, even more political, even more honest, and even more ambitious. I’m going to start off by changing my previous opinion. TOKYO BLACK HOLE is like an 8.5 now. Stay with me, here now and buckle up; we’re going for a ride, my friends.

The same week the United States got unleashed with the marvel of Drake’s More Life – a notably emotional return to form that also doesn’t shy away too far from the newer territory Toronto’s first celebratory hero has been invading – Japan was hit with something similarly parallel. Seiko Oomori gave us her fifth album kitixxxgaia on March 15th. Just like Drizzy, Seiko has given us an equally emotional experience, that still covers her recent sounds while almost giving us a slight return to her punk roots save for the general lack of an obvious acoustic guitar in most of the mixes (though it’s worth noting that it’s still there, just buried in the mix; I’ll get to why such a jam-packed mix actually works in a minute).

It’s amazing to see that the west and the east were both delivered promising projects by two of their biggest masters of music and emotion. It’s amazing to see just how far some shitty kid from Koenji has come in just five years since her official debut PINK in 2012. It’s amazing to think that that’s six albums if you count PINK, seven if you count the mostly self-covering Pink Tokarev album of 2015, which was otherwise an off-year for everyone’s favorite singer to imitate.

The only word I can describe how kitixxxgaia sounds with is “big”. And several other adjectives. Maybe “gigantic”. Maybe “colossal”. It’s a fucking huge album, pardon my French. This is potentially Seiko’s first Ringo Sheena-level album (let’s just forget that SUNNY happened for a minute). There’s a lot of religious imagery and a heavy aesthetic. I’d highly suggest on your first listen, you watch the music videos for every song that has one. So start with the “Dogma Magma” video, then the “Hikokuminteki Hero” video, listen to “IDOL SONG” normally, then when “Gutto Kuru Summer” comes along, watch that video too. And so on.

kitixxxgaia is heavy in its use of a very specific aesthetic, which takes influence from Christianity (and a hint of Mexican-style Christianity at that), weddings, quite a bit of Dadaism, and it’s all absolutely drenched in shades of pink and lighter blues. It’s the kind of album that’s best to be experienced both by listening and watching, as I said before. There are heaps of promotional images that came along with the album and the original “holy trinity” singles that lead up to its release, and I’d suggest maybe even just looking through those around Twitter and wherever else you can find them (maybe I’ll compile what I can find and make a post later this week) while you listen to the songs that aren’t accompanied by music videos. It’s the kind of multi-media work that could induce a sensory-overload in someone with synesthesia, like myself.

Now before I even get into the music of it, I want to point out the name of the album itself. Just the name kitixxxgaia (say it in English how you want, I generally say “Kitty Gaia”), much like her lyrics, takes some wordplay. In Japanese, the word “kichigai” - short for “[anta no] ki ga chigaimasu”, though nobody would ever say it that formally - is essentially the closest the Japanese language can get to the level of offense that words like (cover your children’s eyes) “fuck” or “cunt”. It doesn’t mean the same thing, but it’s that sort of level of offense, though deeper seeing as Japan is culturally much more introverted than we are over here.

Kichigai could loosely be translated to “you’re fucking crazy, man; you’re out of your goddamn mind.” Not in like a “woah dude that’s a fucking siiiick tattoo of a wolf” kind of way, though. It’s an insult, not a term of endearment. Adding the “a” to the end, Seiko turns it into “kichigaia” (キチガイア). After a day or two, she officially changed the name to romaji, now calling it “kitixxxgaia”, censoring it (possibly for management, cultural, and radio airplay reasons, but we don’t know specifically) by making it English and with three x’s in the middle. This name, to me, holds two simultaneous meanings, again, much like her signature style of lyricism.

The “kiti” could be interpreted as “kitschy”, a word referring to style in poor taste, much like our girl Seiko’s aesthetic. The word “gaia” is the personification of our planet Earth in ancient Greek texts. So it’s a “Kitschy World”.

“kitixxxgaia” in its original meaning, “Crazy Fucking World”.

Now to the music: Seiko has never let us down with a strong opener, and this might be the most in-your-face, unexpected opener, titled “Dogma Magma”. “Come on up to the emotional stage!” she blurts out before a gong bangs in your face; the remainder of the measure in silence before another hits with a choir on top, just underneath a piano playing downward arpeggios, and below that, some intricate string work, each instrument holding its breath. After the four bar intro, we crescendo up to the main song. Enter a not-quite shibuya-kei type beat – syncopated and staccato-like drums underneath a jittery, major piano progression. Behind it all is Seiko’s voice distorted, seemingly having a conversation with God.

As the filter cuts off, Seiko enters with some of her most provoking, forward lyrics ever written: (rough translation by yours truly): "Once upon a time there was something other than [just] male and female. Once upon a time there was something other than [just] white, black, and yellow [people]. Once upon a time there was something other than [just] yes and no. These things had always always existed, but it was then instead decided that they didn’t [exist].” she sings, touching on the recently hot topics of gender, race, and consent.

She continues “When I opened my eyes I was Japanese. I’m a goddess but I’m too uncomfortable in this inconvenient body to go outside without makeup on.”, a clear reference to body positivity clashing with self-esteem issues, and likely even cultural pressure in Japanese society. “Dogma Magma” has cuts into a more punk style chorus, reminiscent of “Magic Mirror”. “What will you do during the revolution? Just one heart? Fuck you, fuck [you] all, because this is war!” There she is. That’s the Seiko we know and love.

Track three is of note because it sort of takes me back to when she used to advertise herself as an idol during the Zettai Shoujo era for extra shock value. A clever parody on idol music and culture, “IDOL SONG” could almost pass off as a generic denpa song à la Band Ja Naimon!.

“JI・MO・TO no Kao Kawaii Tomodachi” (roughly “JI・MO・TO’s Cute-Faced Friend”) is certainly one of her most out-there songs, with a catchy, sugary hook, an almost rap verse not too different from what she did with “Zettai Kanojo”. It’s light, it’s bouncy, and it’s really good. This whole album is really good. Good. Good. Good. Good. It’s good music (Cruel Winter, when? I need answers, Kanye!).

Speaking of rapping, two songs later, Seiko gives us the ultimate collab for this generation of J-pop. Much like Ringo Sheena and Utada Hikaru’s “Nijikan Dake no Vacation” (roughly “A Vacation For Just The Two Of Us”), “Chikyuu Saigo no Futari” (roughly: “The Last Two People on Earth”) opens up eerily, with a huge texture and an oozing sub bass that launches into this groovy, dark, rhythmic masterpiece. Seiko begins “Dora-chan, warmest welcome to the 21st century, where mass production has made humans more like robots. Justice is brought by violence, the death penalty is given immediately unless you’re cute.” Seiko is soon interrupted: “I’m being forced to be stupid, these frames in front of me are out of my league. Fuck you, guidance! In my head, I’m punk.” Is that voice DAOKO? You bet your ass it is, and she is spitting that truth all over this track.

God there’s so much more to cover for this album but I really don’t want to ruin too much of it by blabbing on. Up next, continuing with the album’s religious themes “Pink Methuselah” brings a familiar sound with a twist – once it kicks in, it’s very clearly Kenta Sakurai (ex. Izukoneko, current Maison Book Girl, TOKYO BLACK HOLE’s “SHINPIN” producer) behind the producer’s chair on this one, but unlike “SHINPIN” from Seiko’s previous album, it’s not just another Sakurai song. It’s very clear how much Seiko added on top of what he did, and it’s like the perfect blend of both of their signature styles.

The album also features a menacing, full-piano self-cover of °C-ute’s “Mugen Climax”, a song that Seiko wrote for the extremely popular Hello! Project group. Now, she’ll never avoid Ringo Sheena comparisons – after all, Oomori’s debut album Mahou Ga…’s artwork pays direct tribute to Sheena’s legendary 2000 album Shouso Strip’s artwork - but what hearing this self-cover (which makes °C-ute’s version almost unlistenable) makes me want is a self-cover album from Seiko once she garners enough writing credits, much like Ringo Sheena’s Utaite Myouri.

The thing here about kitixxxgaia is that the album finishes off differently depending on the version you have. There are three versions: Dogma, Karma, and Gaia. Every version comes with a second “disc” that’s a DVD/Blu Ray; Dogma comes with a live Blu Ray of ZEPP Tokyo stop of the Tokyo Black Hole Tour, Gaia comes with live audio of that same show as well as a DVD of all of the album’s music videos, and Karma comes with a live DVD of a few different shows from last year. Each version also has a key difference  to the main album – the final track is different.

As my personal recommendation, Dogma is the ideal version. Karma and Gaia finish off with new songs, but Dogma closes out with an acoustic re-recording of the Zettai Shoujo single “Kimi to Eiga” (literally: “Movie With You”). Since the closest thing we get to ‘acoustic’ on kitixxxgaia is “Mugen Climax” and “Orion Za”, this is a necessity to the album’s closure and really puts into perspective just how far Seiko has come since her humble beginnings.

The Karma song is called “Ramen no Hanashi” (literally “Ramen Conversation”) and the Gaia song is called “M”. “M” is another piano song, cutting in at just over 6 minutes. “Ramen no Hanashi” also does a similar job to “Kimi to Eiga”, being a full-acoustic track, and it’s a bonus that it’s a new song as well, so if you’re looking for a fully new experience or you’re not familiar with the Zettai Shoujo classic, maybe the Karma version is more for you. Either way, it’s a really nice way to end the album with some retrospect.

IDOL iS NOT DEAD gives kitixxxgaia a perfect 10/10. 11/10. Screw it. Whatever. It’s so goddamn good, just stop reading and go listen oh my god

[cupkayke]

Cupkayke Rewatches/Liveblogs Boueibu!

Season 1, Episode 5

Hokay! Moving right along- and surprisingly I actually have a lot to dissect in this episode! (Well, mostly about a couple of key conversations). This ep is where we get introduced to the Press Society fuckers and the boys start to pick up on a base level that their monster fighting might have a bigger purpose- although most of that is glossed over in favor of focusing on the lack of privacy. 

Thanks again to those who keep commenting on/reblogging my liveblogs! I come to love this community more and more each day, it seems like. You all rock <3

THAT GODDAMN FISH I FORGOT THIS WAS WHERE HE WAS INTRODUCED

And from his first moment on screen I remember thinking he was going to be significant

And they aren’t concerned about the censoring?

Like that isn’t normal in real life, dude.

Ominous scene is ominous - I have more on this later~

Animation callout here- I could even notice Atsushi’s eyes scanning the pages here. A+ detail.

I agree En- I hate the rain with a burning passion. Makes me just want to nap. (Again- I have a strong feeling that En is my spirit animal)

Again noticing the color-coordinated cups lol- @nardaviel 8D

ATSUSHI WITH THE SASS AGAIN- similarly to Arima, why did I not notice how much fucking shade Atsushi throws (mostly towards En) the first time I watched this series? He has the best lines lol.

AND EN IS JUST LIKE ‘ORLY?’ LIKE HE ISN’T SELF-AWARE.

Not quite compliments there- but what does En say?

HE CALLS HIM “MY ATSUSHI” AND COMPLIMENTS HIS ENGLISH OMG I AM DEAD

Like... is there any doubt that they’re boyfriends at this point? Or at least getting there? Lol

Side note I just noticed that while En never wears his tie he keeps it in his jacket pocket at all times... c’mon En if you make it a point to have it on you why not just wear it?

I apologize in advance that I am basically screencapping this entire conversation but I am going to over-analyze it to death because A) My graduate degree is in English and B) Linguistics is fascinating. SO BUCKLE UP KIDS.

On this note- at first, I agreed with Io wholeheartedly that ‘naive’ and ‘sensitive’ are not considered compliments in English-speaking cultures and was a bit confused as to how they could be in Japanese.

However... then I thought about it again, and taking ‘naive’ as its definition of ‘innocent’ and ‘sensitive’ as its definition of ‘sympathetic/empathetic’, then the former can be seen as neutral, rather than an insult, and the latter can be seen as a compliment. So... culture differences are fascinating.

But definitely gut reaction is that you do not want to be called naive or sensitive in English so...

The way Ryuu says this makes me think he’s heard that phrase directed at himself on more than one occasion lol- which is probably why he brings it up.

Atsushi’s definition, however, is not one I commonly would think of when confronted with ‘naive’. It more to me means ‘childlike’ or ‘ignorant’, because ‘careless’ is a deliberate action, whereas ‘ignorant’ is simply passive. 

I have no reason for this screencap other than that I melted at Io’s English. Adorable- and I get the feeling from his pronunciation that he’s definitely got top marks in English.

Though it makes sense that he’d be pretty fluent in English due to his business transactions.

Then the fact that he pointedly directs this at Ryuu is hysterical for other reasons.

Well, Ryuu, you kind of had it written all over your face when you brought it up that you were thinking of a phrase that had been directed at you~

Love Io’s sutble teasing here, too haha. Look at his face.

Ryuu is so earnest in his defense of himself lol

But the word he chooses here- ‘guileless’- is interesting because when I went to the dictionary page for ‘naive’, ‘guileless’ is one of the synonyms

So they’re all basically meaning the same thing here, however- ‘guileless’ has a more direct definition of ‘honest, sincere, & straightforward’, which does describe Ryuu pretty well.

His demeanor in this entire scene as an example, and the phone call with a potential girlfriend we hear later (which is hilarious for other reasons) definitely contains that tone.

And Io continues with his gentle ribbing lol

The camera cuts away before we see Ryuu’s reaction but I would imagine he pouted at Io after that

In general, aside from the language discussion this scene just shows how the boys interact with one another beautifully and asdfgjlskjf;lkj they’re all so cute

En you just keep setting yourself up for Atsushi’s shade lol

Ummm Yumoto you okay?

That is not convincing me that you are okay at ALL

I LOVE THE PEANUTS REFERENCE

Smol fluffy child stop being creepy you are molesting an innocent creature

Like seriously I don’t care how cute you and Wombat look here it’s UNSETTLING

Yumoto says ‘feel so fine’ in English- but this one I’m stumped. I haven’t heard that used as a phrase, before. I mean, I get his meaning... does he perhaps mean to say “that feel good feeling?” Idk... I guess it can be said multiple ways but that particular phrasing seems weird to me

MOLDY TEACHER

Uhhhh I don’t think it works that way, Wombat

Psssssh En just gave Wombat the ultimate diss- you almost feel sorry for the poor pink creature

Side note- Press kids are creepy as hell

And then they don’t give a shit when Wombat falls THREE STORIES- or is it 5 stories?

Io how do you have such a calm face saying that- Atsushi looks like he’s about to shit himself with panic

No explanation other than their expressions are hilarious- NOW Io looks panicked

From their first like 3 seconds onscreen I immediately hated these assholes. Well, I suppose the smol asshole. The other one is just... there.

Also, how the fuck did they get up to the club room so fast from taking pictures down below just moments before???

Binan’s website is sophisticated as all get out like whoah

From this monologue, I get a couple of things;

1) Kinosaki’s hair is stupid

2) I feel like his true calling was drama club but he got stuck with newspaper/website instead

3) He just REALLY rubs you the wrong way with how he talks out of his ass like that- it makes me wonder exactly how much they know ahead of time about the DC

Like, if I remember right, it’s revealed later that they knew about them (because the fucking fish- Hireashi- is apparently their club mascot???)

But it isn’t clear at this point if they actually know their identities, or if Hireashi just told them about CIDE2 but didn’t tell them right away about the DC’s identities and Kinosaki just kind of deduced on his own that they should probably investigate the club that does nothing because they’re kind of suspicious now that this cosplay group thing has shown up

...but I suppose it makes more sense in hindsight that they’re in on the entire thing and they’re just trying to see how the DC react- their real purpose here instead of getting a story is getting better ratings for CIDE2

Regardless-

I agree, Yumoto

En once again picking on Yumoto.

Sometimes I get the impression En’s just doing it in a teasing, good-natured way and then at the same time I get the impression that En just barely tolerates Yumoto in the earlier episodes.

Hm. I can’t tell.

I wonder if this line is just more bullshitting on Kinosaki’s part or if he’s actually hinting at something here.

And now I can’t tell if Kinosaki just simply DOESN’T NOTICE Tawarayama is technically DEAD or he KNOWS because of the stupid fish and is blatantly ignoring it just to see how far the DC will go to get him the fuck out of there lol

Either way, he’s succeeding in freaking them out

Evil reporter is evil (THOSE EYEEEEEES)

I love their expressions here- and then the way they all look at one another, expecting someone to come up with a plan to get the annoyances out of there

Like idk it’s super cute how Ryuu and Io look at one another and then En and Atsushi look between each other and Yumoto and Yumoto just looks up at his senpais like “ummm”

And it definitely WOULD be Io who’s the one to come up with some loopholes or a ‘logical’ point about press responsibility in an effort to scare Kinosaki off

I have a feeling he’s well versed in these things because business

I sometimes have a hard time remembering he’s like 16/17- he acts MUCH older than all of the others.

Not quite sure what he’s implying here- though it’s definitely an interesting line if you take into account that he likely knows all about the DC and their true identities as the Battle Lovers

Perhaps he’s alluding to the fact that they should use their interviews with him to make themselves look better to CIDE2′s audience, which would be really interesting because potentially he’s operating under the assumption that the DC know they’re being filmed. Which is plausible because Hireashi could have told them anything.

Or on a more local level, it could be him wanting the DC to take him up on his offer to improve their position in the school (although I get the impression that some of them are already pretty popular as is? Ryuu definitely but potentially En as well)

Maybe he has heard rumblings of the conflict between Atsushi and Kinshirou and knows that the DC is on thin ice with their status as a club so he’s offering them a favor to make Kinshirou hate them less?

Oooh looking at him from these angles he’s a bit more likeable as a character

But this is all still speculation so I most probably am wrong.

En goes from adorable to annnoyed in .2 seconds flat lol

Snerk- he points out so easily that En an Atsushi are always together.

Everyone knows they’re boyfriendssssss

This conversation is a bit telling- definitely a lot more so than when I first watched it.

En doesn’t like talking about himself. He says as much in his next line, although it’s a bit sutble;

Give me some questions that are easier to answer.

I can read this scene as En nearly admitting that he doesn’t find himself remarkable- or he’d have to think about it a little harder if Kinosaki wanted a better answer. 

Talking about himself doesn’t come naturally- he doesn’t think of himself as anything special, or he has a hard time thinking about what does make him special.

Talk about a pointed question

Io just ignores him lol

Though that’s a bit on the nose. Io definitely finds the whole Battle Lover thing bothersome

Although that contradicts my headcanon that Io is secretly super into it even though he isn’t at first lolol

Money is SRZBZ

RYUU I HAVE A FEELING THAT’S NOT HOW YOU FLIRT WITH GIRLS

Though there is his self-described ‘guilelessness’ lol

Guys... stahp

Fffffffft RYUU WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WHY DOES IT SOUND LIKE A VIBRATOR

I’m sorry I can’t picture anything else that he could possibly be talking about. Nope. Can’t do it. My mind is trash.

Though I have to say this is probably some of the worst foreshadowing. It was like the writers were like ‘shit we’re halfway through the episode and we haven’t foreshadowed what the monster is going to be here let’s let Ryuu talk about it suggestively’

Upset Pink isn’t getting laid tonight

Meanwhile Atsushi is still trying to rival Arima to be the Sass Master

I can’t with Tarawayama and Wombat it’s so silly

And all the kids have just ACCEPTED that their teacher now carries around a pink plush wombat that sort of seems alive all the time

Yumoto bby that’s not how you get to college...

WHAT THE FUCK GUYS THAT’S SO CREEPY

AND NO ONE EVEN NOTICES

That was the quickest exposition for a loveless character

Like seriously, 2 lines, a Zundar Needle and a sassy line from the CC

At least they all realize it’s just Kurosaki who is annoying. Tazawa just snaps pics in the background.

Wombat has spent too much time on Tumblr. I’m sorry I had to

Wombat’s Kansai accent cracks me up

So basically you’re admitting that Tawarayama is dead-dead and your ‘technology’ isn’t doing much?

WOMBAT! Is that anything to say to the character who’s mother is mysteriously absent? <.<

Nice callbacks!

NAKED HANG OUT

Tho why the fuck does he have a camera in the onsen?? INVASION OF PRIVACY MUCH?

SERIOUSLY HOW DO YOU NOT NOTICE HE’S DEAD

Wombat’s pissed and firing back the nonverbal sass at Atsushi

Another line supporting the “Press society knows too much” idea- it’s as if he was clued in on what to listen for~

Wombat’s little anxious dance is like wtf

I like how imaginary Yumoto is covering his shorts all ashamed lol

Is this Yandare simulator?

No srz tho Yumoto is savage af and everybody’s like “WTF”

Self aware “we are in an anime” joke featuring genre/time period awareness

I think someone on staff just really wanted to draw Ryuu like that lol

About here is where I realized I really liked Tazawa’s design- his ponytail is super cute

Yumoto is a very convincing actor in a pinch

Attempt at badass poses isn’t very effective when you all are naked

Side note I just realized they all tie their towels in the same manner- is that a cultural thing or are they all simply right or left handed???

Or is it just a lazy animation thing? hahaha

I swear Tazawa only has like 3 lines but he’s adorable AF

Also... he’s got a point

Ryuu does have a point

Because how else will we know that we’re true magical boys???

Okay, so I’m not a huge fan of the ‘remote control monster’. But I suppose its symbolism is twofold;

1) It directly represents the micro-conflict of the episode, the DC having their image controlled by the Press Society

2) It leads the way for the DC to put two and two together and realize that the monsters are being controlled by someone (although I feel like that’s obvious because they’ve been... y’know... members of their school spontaneously turned into monsters? Like that doesn’t just happen)

Idk tho I wish we’d gotten a smidgen more about this student; but I suppose the actual conflict is the one going on with the DC

This line made me giggle hysterically but I just realized how big of a culture gap there is because I have never even SEEN a bidet toilet. The quick google search I ran indicates they’re fairly common in Europe/Asia? Like WTF America you’d think we’d be more hygienic.

I love when they use physical violence lol it makes it more serious

It also serves a dual purpose in knocking annoying monsters down a couple pegs

ONE HIT KO

Srz though Yumoto that was epic

Though there definitely wasn’t much of a point for the others to be there which I know is a stab at the typical magical girl genre trope of the main character being OP’d but on the other hand that’s so frustrating that this happens ALL THE TIME

Like once is funny, the entire series playing it as a running gag is old

Though I wonder if we timed all of the monster encounters in this show if this one would be one of the shortest lol

But seriously though... this show HINTS at being a much deeper magical boy show and then it just subverts everything by having Yumoto be OP and they talk their way out of ridiculous, potentially DANGEROUS situations

Like exhibit A)

Like this COULD BE REALLY SCARY. Cliche remote control monster with the ability to control real people!

He could have ALL the battle lovers fight one another! Or like what’s hinted at happening- have Yumoto do the love attack on his friends!

Like it’s not outside the realm of possibility for Yumoto to fire a shot at the others. They could have dodged, and having him resist the control is a great tension device, but then-

DEUS EX WOMBAT

Like... so disappointing. Boueibu your narrative needs to go up a notch.

And this is where my crunchyroll app fucked up and couldn’t buffer anything over 240p long enough to take screencaps, so I’ll just summarize the last couple of points;

The monster before it turns back into the student is self-aware enough to exclaim that he was being controlled by someone else’s will- which is enough for the DC to pick up on the fact that the monsters are being controlled. I mentioned it earlier but I suppose it bears repeating that these poor boys aren’t necessarily too bright lol- or they just aren’t thinking too hard about the surreal monster thing.

The scene back at the onsen doesn’t have much- I just thought it was funny that Kinosaki was scared of Gora with his giant axe.

Kinshirou’s typical arrogance was typical; a bit more of his irritation towards anything having to do with Atsushi’s new crew but nothing major here with their characters.

And then the last scene- Kinosaki’s line about ‘our initial report went well, huh?’ and then the shot of Hireashi is an example of foreshadowing DONE WELL and not played for laughs. That definitely confirms that those two are in on the whole CIDE2 thing and are acting as agents for the TV network. Makes me wonder how THAT conversation happened- like those two probably would have been WTFing over a TALKING FISH.

But anyway! Another episode that’s a bit deeper with character development than at first meets the eye, and disappointing shades of what could have been a magical boy show that played at the tropes but ultimately subverted them. Sigh. I suppose this is what fanfic is for... and thusly I continue my research gathering!

[romaniassexdungeon]

LeoJidemic- gay and terror

Day two- social media

Pairing: LeoJi

Second fill for @rarepairsonice

I’m gonna be honest- most of these are LeoJi. This was the one that first gave me the idea to fill these prompts out as fics and not art, when I kept thinking of what Leo and Guang Hong would say watching a certain bad film together, and how they would probably make a habit out of watching awful films and laughing about it, so at least something good came out of me watching Birdemic. Not a lot, but something.

Unfortunately, it meant I had to watch the film again to write this and now I wanna die. You might want to have the film open in another tab to understand what’s going on.

Warnings: alcohol and some sexual humour

...

There were moments in Guang Hong’s life when he knew the best course of action would be to say a firm ‘no, that sounds like a terrible idea and something I’ll regret’ but deep in his heart, he knew the only thing he’d be saying was ‘let’s do this Leo. That’s a great idea, Leo’. ...I’m in love with you, Leo and would do anything for you down to watching the worst films in existence.

At this point, Leo didn’t even need ‘Viktor Nikiforov will be there’ to convince Guang Hong to do the reckless and ridiculous. He could do it with his own charm. Nothing Leo suggested they did was something Guang Hong would be genuinely uncomfortable with, or either illegal or immoral, just things that made him question what exactly his heart was doing here. It was now thanks to Leo that he’d taken Viktor Nikiforov’s actual real life boxers to the face; had stayed up til four in the morning swapping local memes when he had an exam the next day, purely because it was fun; prank-called half their friends; both dressed up as playboy bunnies last halloween to go trick-or-treating, which ended up in them receiving more money than candy; and end up buying a whole horde of stuffed animals every time they met up without fail.

Still, this would be a laugh. Sure, he’d hate himself, his life and worry for the future of cinema, but there would be a few laughs along the way, right?

Right?

Movie ‘dates’ between them were commonplace now, squeezed into whatever time they both had together that wasn’t interrupted by school, college, practice or much-needed sleep. First thing on the agenda was both their top favourites, get that squared out of the way, then films that had been banned or censored in each other’s countries and new releases neither had seen yet. When the pool of possible films to watch started becoming a little underwhelming, Leo suggested they go all out with finding films so bad they were an adventure. As something of a film snob, Guang Hong wasn’t sure he could see where the humour was there. Even when Leo put on ‘the Room’, Guang Hong had mostly been terrified. For humanity and every film industry in the world. It was agony. Torture. Only the start of a string of terrible ideas.

Over time, Guang Hong did find these late nights all the more enjoyable, no school or practice the next day, curled under his bedsheets in his and Leo’s own little world. Well, maybe Leo couldn’t be there in person, but Guang Hong could cuddle up to his tablet. Between Leo’s jokes and some genuinely unbelievable moments, Guang Hong found himself having to stifle laughter more often. He still felt bad for the world though.

There was no way one could not laugh in mild terror at the poorly animated Titanic musical with the rapping dog, though Leo’s laughter seemed to turn to sobbing at the singing mice. The other Titanic musical, the one where no one ended up dying, created more confusion than humour though, but even they had to laugh at the ridiculous plot. Foodfight was just straight up disgusting though, same with the bee-human relationship in Bee Movie.

And now, all Guang Hong had to do was read the title of the youtube video on their shared screen to know he was in for a long night.

Birdemic.

Birdemic…

Bird… demic...

BIRD-FUCKING-DEMIC?

Or to give it it’s proper title: Birdemic: shock and terror.

Shock and terror seemed to be pretty apt words here.

“Where do you find these?” he groaned.

On a webcam in the corner, Leo just shrugged. “Internet.”

“Why can’t you watch hentai like a normal person?”

“We can watch some of that together if it floats your boat, babe,” Leo told him slyly.

“Nah, my parents might walk in. Not that I’d want them to walk in and see me watching this either.”

“Shall we start then? I’m in the mood for some self-loathing.”

Guang Hong chuckled. “I’m not but play away.”

“Let’s do this.” Leo hit the play button, and after some poorly animated company logos, Guang Hong was greeted with a car scene. Not a car chase, but a guy driving his car along a country lane. For the first four minutes of the film. That was it. There were credits, of course, and some calming music; an overture? Really? Didn’t that go out of style in the sixties or something? Okay, not a terrible start, but it was a little dull.

“My favourite bit so far is the Portuguese subtitles,” Leo commented. “I think whoever wrote them’s brain broke from this.”

“I don’t speak Portuguese,” replied Guang Hong sadly.

“Neither can I, technically, but you don’t really have to to understand a sarcastic ‘Ator 10/10’,” he gave a slightly worried smile, “I should warn you, I’ve only seen one scene from this beforehand and… we’re in for a treat, let me tell you.”

“Yay,” Guang Hong groaned, “camera’s a bit… lopsided.”

“So’s his parking,” replied Leo once the overture had finally stopped and what was presumably the main character got out of his car.

“He looks lost.”

“And confused.”

When the main character finally entered a cafe, the waitress greeted him… or what Guang Hong thought was meant to be a greeting. It seemed more like a threat. Who edited this? “What the-”

“I’m gonna need to replay that.” Yup, the waitress definitely seemed to shout ‘hi’ at the protagonist. What did he ever do to her? Was it going to cut to a ‘one month earlier’ scene of him leaving a lousy tip?

“Why does the audio keep cutting out?” he asked.

“Because someone apparently got their cinematography degree free in a cereal box.”

“I wish those were really a thing.”

“I wish this wasn’t a thing.”

I wish we were a thing, Guang Hong’s brain slyly told him. He hoped he’d not said that out loud. It was hard to tell this late at night.

“Hot girl alert!” cried Leo, breaking Guang Hong’s heart ever so slightly. “What’s she doing in a movie like this?”

“Probably can’t act.”

“Yeah...”

“Did he just get up without ordering anything to chase after her? Who does that?”

“Yeah, wake up and smell the restraining order already!”

“He’s so creepy,” Guang Hong whined.

“And you were right, she can’t act,” replied Leo, “I mean, he’s still the worst, but-”

“Lee Seung Gil trying to be sexy is less wooden than him,” the boy finished helpfully.

“He’s creeping me out too,” Leo wrinkled his nose.

“I’m a fashion model.” “And a beautiful one too.”

“Ever seen an ugly model?” asked Leo.

“He’s running after her again?”

Leo burst out laughing. “She looks so uncomfortable leave her alone!”

“So are we just watching his day now?” asked Guang Hong after a few minutes, “like, his whole boring day?”

“Seems so.”

“Give this film all the awards. All of them.”

“Oh good, now he’s at work. Fucking riveting.” Leo flopped back in his chair, giving a groan like a dying buffalo.

“At least it’s going well from him.” The protagonist had started cheering, but even that sounded fake and half-assed. “I hope his office is more than fifty feet away from any modelling studios.”

“Speaking of which,” Leo nodded at a shot of said studio, “let’s see how she’s getting on.”

“Are we just watching her have photos taken in different clothes now? Yay.”

“Oooh, she got signed by Victoria’s Secret.”

“That easy, huh?”

“So they’re letting everyone’s dreams come true before they’re killed in the Birdemic? That’s nice of them.”

A few moments later, and Leo burst out laughing. “She has a flip phone? What the hell? Even my grandma has a smart phone.”

“This conversation’s so fake I’m surprised Phichit isn’t using it as makeup.” He didn’t know why he said that; Phichit was lovely. He’d probably have laughed at that anyway.

“That’s mean,” Leo chided, “they’re not very good at splicing each shot together though. Wow.”

And a few moments even later, Guang Hong was watching a basketball scene, for some reason. Or two guys giving up playing basketball because of a heatwave… in winter? Okay. “‘A day without sex is a day wasted man’? What on earth-”

“A day watching this film is a day wasted.”

“I had cake today; I wouldn’t consider that a day wasted.”

“I wish I had cake.”

“I wish we were watching something else.”

The next scene, however, was even more absurd.

“This guy’s installing a solar panel… is that all there was to that scene?”

“Seems so,” Leo gave a shrug.

“Where are the birds anyway? You promised me a birdemic, de la Iglesia.”

“Give it some time. There’s the bad romance plot to get out of the way first.”

And bad romance plot there was, complete with dates devoid of all chemistry. Really, it was the characters repeating pretty much what had happened in the movie already, with bad audio. It was so boring, in fact, that Leo left halfway through to make himself a Margarita. The cocktail, not the pizza. Guang Hong didn’t blame him, but it also meant Leo missed an actual moment with some chemistry involving the love interest talk about her cat.

“If I could afford it, I’d have at least ten of them.”

It was then that Guang Hong wondered, in horror, if this was actually a webcam filming one of Yuri and Otabek’s dates. He was going to throw up.

When Leo came back, complete with alcoholic drink, Guang Hong requested he pause the movie so he could sneak into the kitchen and grab a milkshake. Maybe they could make a drinking game out of it. The next scene involved Love Interest [he couldn’t remember any of their names] summarizing to her mother everything that happened. Leo downed his cocktail and went to make another.

“Did her mom suggest she get herself a sugar daddy?” he asked when they’d resumed watching.

“Best character in the whole damn film.” Guang Hong wondered if that’s what Yuuri’s mom had told him at some point.

“Please don’t let the two friends do it,” whined Leo, “I’m not sure I could take the weirdness.”

“Why does she have one plain white poster with ‘imagine peace’ on it? Who has that in their room?”

“She’s hot too,” Leo mumbled.

“If only she could act… if only any of them could...”

The next scene almost broke Guang Hong. “Are they just gonna… keep clapping… this whole time?”

“Whilst the audio keeps cutting out? Oh God.”

“Your God cannot help you anymore,” Guang Hong moaned.

“No really, that was the whole meeting? Them all clapping? Who made this?”

“Oh no wait, the guy’s friend has a remote controlled car. Think that was in his briefcase?” Guang Hong giggled, “it’s what I would take to a meeting.” Oh boy, did he just love Perpetually Horny Friend.

“-Chicks love cars, if you wanna get into their pants you better have a nice, hot ferrari.” “She’s my hot ferrari.”

“You’re my hot ferrari, Jiji,” said Leo with a lopsided grin, now on his third Margarita. Guang Hong really needed to have a word with him about that nickname...

“You’re mine, treasure.” Sometimes Guang Hong didn’t know if what they had was bromance or just straight up romance. That was also something he needed to talk to Leo about at some point, and was looking forward to it less than explaining Leo kept affectionately referring to him as ‘penis’. It was funny when they were alone, less so when walking down a busy street in Shanghai.

“Wow, a double date to see ‘an inconvenient truth’, how romantic.” Leo rolled his eyes. “And is that girl wearing an ‘imagine peace’ t-shirt?”

“Of course, guy who wants ferrari how wants an environmentally friendly car. This by any chance trying to push a clean energy agenda?”

“Maybe. Though to be fair, when I saw ‘an inconvenient truth’ I wanted to live in a cave.”

“If they wanted to make more of an impact with their global warming message, they should’ve set it here instead.”

“Is that guy’s friend talking about sex again?” Leo pulled a face, “he makes Chris look like a nun.”

“Funny image. Wish there were birds in this.”

“Give it time.”

So Guang Hong did. What he got instead was more stiff, lifeless romance right up to a drawn out dance scene in an incredibly empty bar. Seriously, just the main couple and the guy singing. Not to mention the dancing was less than impressive. Or was it impressive in how bad it is? It was like watching his parents, or a drunk Yuuri. No wait, drunk Yuuri was way more entertaining.

“I know what my next short programme music will be,” Leo commented with a laugh.

“Not if I do it first,” replied Guang Hong, grinning stupidly. He’d even steal the couple’s crap dance moves.

That scene, as long winded as it was, ended all too soon for them, and now they were faced with what could be the most awkward, wooden sex scene in the history of film. No really, it just looked like someone was filming to random people making out in their underwear. It was just unedited kissing on a bed… Oh God, was Leo showing him porn? He wished it was them in that motel. Was that what Leo was trying to say?

He didn’t have time to dwell on it though because, at last, he was greeted with the birdemic. And boy was that worth the wait. He’d almost jumped out of bed at the sudden onslaught of screeching from what he assumed was poorly-animated birds.

“Holy fuck,” whispered Leo.

“Are those birds… dive bombing into houses and exploding… whilst making plane noises?” Guang Hong’s brain was on the verge of melting at this point. Oh, and the explosion effects were just as bad as the birds themselves. This was hell for him, but at the same time there was something glorious about it.

No wait, the animations of the birds hovering in the air was the worst special effect. He was going to cry.

“They’re just floating in front of those houses,” hissed Leo in disbelief, peeking out between his fingers, “there’s no attacking animation.”

“I know this is probably not what needs to be focused on,” said Guang Hong, “the couple are wearing the exact same clothes from the night before. They’re not even rumpled or anything, not even their hair.”

“Must’ve got tired from sucking face and not done anything else. Just gone straight to sleep.”

“Weak.”

Leo’s eyebrows shot up. “Christ. I’m almost scared to find out what it would be like to make lo-”

“Oh I’d cover you like a birthday cake. I would condition your hair with my jizz.”

“Dude, same,” Leo drew out the last word, grinning stupidly. “I’d bend you over like a car seat.” No wonder Phichit- along with everyone else- had no idea if they were dating or not.

“It’s late and I’m being silly,” Guang Hong tried to explain.

Leo wiggled his eyebrows and held up his glass, “don’t worry about it; I’ve not been adding lime juice to the last five of these.”

“You’ve had five...”

“Have you been watching this damn film?”

“Not recently, we’ve been talking.”

“Well the best scene’s about to come up,” Leo rubbed his hands in anticipation.

Guang Hong’s eyes flickered back to the video on screen. “Who’s this dude and why is he collecting coat hangers?”

“To fight the birds.”

“...Coat hangers?”

“I know right? They’re birds, not abortions.”

“Leo!”

Leo held up his glass again. “Five! Remember?”

“Bloody hell...”

“Here we go,” Leo grinned with glee and Guang Hong’s brain finally melted.

They were swatting at birds… with coat hangers. If that wasn’t enough, the birds were just poor animations, barely moving on the top layer of the shot. They weren’t hitting them, and the birds kept flapping, stationary. This was it, this was what was going to kill him.

“What the fuck,” he whispered, covering his face with his hands and keeping the tablet propped on his knees.

“Told you!” Leo had actually fallen off his chair laughing. He was purple in the face by the time he’d managed to climb back up.

“How long of this crap is there left to go?” he moaned.

“About forty minutes. Why?”

“I’m not sure I can make it,” Guang Hong wiped his forehead, “the birds got me… go on… without me… tell my wife I love her...”

“Babe please, hold on for me!”

“I… can’t...” And Guang Hong collapsed on his pillow, eyes shut and tongue lolling.

“Come on man stop fucking around we still have forty minutes of this shit to go.”

[sing-backwards-and-weep]

then fucking say that? instead of saying yall females and ranting on and on like a misogynist? sure i assumed, but you wrote your posts only talking about women, and then topped it off with that dumbass reblog "if you want to be a girl who knows then you want to be a man or at least a lesbian" like. are you stupid?

look in the first place i ain’t gotta explain shit to you so settle down and let’s talk. you can start the ‘not all women’ movement otherwise, be my guest. 

i’m not responsible for the fact that you’re out here assuming shit

but i’ve been out here knee-deep in problematic females who exemplify toxic behavior, that’s what i come from, and most of my abuse traces back to women making stupid, inconsiderate, callous, or otherwise reckless decisions

i was waiting for you to drop that ‘misogyny’ word so we can actually talk about that a little more.

if you want to pursue intersectional feminism, you need to be willing to actually hear men’s voices so you can understand what the issues over on our side of the division are. 

that being said, you don’t have to like the language i use, but i’m not going to self-censor to spare your sensibilities. you gotta listen to me from the heart, the same way i listen to you. 

this isn’t the time nor the place for me to be walking on eggshells.

that way you can understand what kind of attitudes and behaviors toxic and problematic women are fostering in society. we are two (presumably) grown ass individuals and this is why we can have conversations like this; i see you as an individual, and i expect the same right back. that’s the essence of respect.

abuse is a cycle, right? we pass on our abuse because we don’t know any better, because we’re conditioned by abuse to think it’s normal. how do you expect me to glaze over the female component of abuse?

bad moms literally produce serial killers, you know that, right? 

if we’re going to talk about men’s abuse, let’s talk about men’s abuse. you can’t just laud yourself as ‘open to hearing the stories of abused men’ if you aren’t going to give us the space to be open and honest about what it feels like. 

as a member of the social justice community, that’s incredibly hypocritical. you should wake up to that quick so you can stop getting your feelings hurt, we can have these open conversations that need to be had, and then we can progress from there

bitch