#WHO THE FUCK DESIGNED THIS LEVEL THAT WAS FUCKING AWFUL

[bloodborne-on-pc]

Me: Murder is wrong, taking a human life is an extremely grave matter Me playing The Plutonia Experiment, MAP11(Hunted): Every rule has its exception

[darkstarcore]

One must imagine Agent 8 happy

[caffeineandsociety]

There's a specific genre of shitty antisemitic joke that I have seen fly under the radar (as it was designed to) a LOT more often lately - especially since Kanye started going full mask-off nazi - so I feel the need to issue a warning about it. Namely, the genre is jokes that get spread around by people who aren't willfully antisemitic because outside of conspiracy brain rot land, it appears that the point of the joke is absurdism.

As an example, let's examine the 23-and-me lizard DNA test that I've sadly seen floating around unquestioned.

Because, see, to the average person who isn't willfully antisemitic, this genre of joke comes off as nonsequiturs, or hilarious mistakes - you, as a person with some level of basic observational and critical thinking skills, living on Earth and not in whatever batshit mirror dimension conspiracy theorists think we live in, might very well end up getting a giggle out of it because, HAH, we KNEW those DNA ancestry kits were a scam! If you're not a deliberate antisemite but not really up on the dogwhistles, it doesn't scan as anything awful because you're put in mind of things like feeding a photo of something decidedly not human into that one selfie-to-anime neural net, which sometimes works and produces interesting results because the thing is looking for specific patterns and trying to make anything fit - not things like blatantly lying about doing something like that in the hopes that normies who see the absurdity and want to have a laugh at a scummy company's expense will pass it along to people who unironically believe that Jewish people are actual literal lizard aliens and the test proves it.

This is the same strategy that guy at the game awards pulled. You, a person living in reality where the main source of political corruption is just the basic consequence of an economic system that makes power pool in the hands of anyone willing to exploit enough people, a world of banal mundane evil, know damned well that QAnon-pizzagate-satanic ritual abuse cult conspiracy bullshit is, well, bullshit, if you're even familiar with the details of what they believe at all. When someone crashes the stage and thanks Rabbi Bill Clinton, you may very well laugh because to YOU it is a blatant absurd nonsequitur.

Problem is that to someone else, someone who's deep into that shit, it's either someone letting the truth slip, or someone backing the deep state into a corner - whichever is more convenient to believe.

This is one form of how the far right uses memeification (CW: the example discussed in the link is a rape "joke") - it means something totally different to the in-group than it does to the out-group. To you, it's funny because it's nonsensical; to them, it's fun because they think they're onto something huge and they're about to blow this shit wide open and it's going to be their great moment of triumph.

I cannot stress enough that no matter how absurd an antisemitic conspiracy theory sounds to you, there are people who believe it, unironically. There are people who unironically believe that Jewish people are very literally not human and no amount of evidence to the contrary will ever change their minds. There are people who believe that we're born with horns and tails and pointed ears and have them surgically altered to fit in with good Christian humans like some kind of extremely high-stakes game of Among Us. There are people who believe that we steal, ritualistically abuse, and kill Christian babies. These beliefs, while fringe enough that, yeah, most of you who this post is aimed at have never heard them in the wild before very recently, are not nearly as fringe as you probably think they are. Just look at fucking Kanye. This asshole has more fans than there are Jewish people in the world.

So I'm begging you to please, bare minimum, be careful of "absurdist" jokes about Jewish people, especially if they reference lizards, money, banking, or government power. Also, you may see Jewish people debating how religious laws may apply to fictional creatures, but outside of that context you should also be wary of any time Jewish people are mentioned in the same sentence as vampires, dragons, goblins, zombies, fantasy demons, or any number of other fantasy creatures known for greed, feeding on humans, or both.

If the reason it seems funny to you is because you'd have to be really stupid to believe it's true or makes any kind of sense - it's probably looking for you to spread it to people who are, in fact, that stupid.

[corroded-hellfire]

Prompt Day 30: Fame and Fortune

Words: 1000

Rating: T

Pairing: Eddie x Reader

CW: language

Summary: When rockstar Eddie and his actress wife go to buy a sports car, their salesman has a familiar face

@corrodedcoffinfest

Eddie didn’t think his life could get much better. He’s a Grammy Award winning rockstar in a band with his best friends, he’s married to you, a smoking hot Oscar Award winning actress, and you two have your dream life all planned out. Where you want to live, how many kids you want to have, and even what cars you want to drive.

Which leads you to a Ferrari dealership in Chicago. It’s not where you live, but if you happen to find a car you fall in love with, you have more than enough money to have it delivered to your home.

The two of you step into the pristine white building, Eddie’s hand held snugly in yours. A dealer makes his way out of the offices in the back to greet you, and you hear Eddie let out a surprised scoff. You turn your head to look at him in question, but he’s looking straight ahead at the shorter man approaching you.

“Well, long time no see,” Eddie says once the man is close enough.

The salesman looks cowed. There’s a pained pinch to his face, like Eddie is the last person he wants to see and this is the last place he wants to be.

“Welcome in,” the man says. He looks from your husband to you. “My name is Jason. What can I help you with today?”

Eddie’s hand falls from your own and he stretches his arm out and over your shoulders. A glance in his direction shows a satisfied smirk on his pretty face.

“The wife and I would like to purchase a new car. Thought we’d test drive some Ferrari’s and see if anything catches our attention.”

“Uh, sure,” Jason says, slipping his hands into the pockets of his khakis. “I’ll meet you outside and we’ll take a look at some cars?”

“Sounds good,” Eddie says.

He steers you towards the side door while Jason heads toward the offices.

The shit-eating grin on your husband’s face confuses you and the moment you step outside, you question him.

“What’s going on?” you ask.

“That shrimp is one Jason Carver,” he says as you wander between cars.

It takes a moment for the name to click. You skid to a stop, causing Eddie’s arm to slip from your shoulders.

“That’s the guy who was such an asshole to you in high school?”

The shock on your face only adds to Eddie’s giddiness.

“That’s him.”

“Ugh,” you groan as you start to walk through the sea of Ferrari’s again.

“Aw, baby!” It’s Eddie’s turn to come to a halt. He grabs your hands and excitedly bounces on the balls of his feet. “Can we please, please, please act like douchey rich snobs? You’re an actress, think of it as an exercise.”

You can’t help but laugh. He drops your hands and you reach up to cup his face.

“Let’s fuck with the asshole,” you agree.

By the time Jason comes out to meet you, you and Eddie have narrowed it down to two different cars you’d like to test drive: a red Ferrari and a yellow one.

Eddie slips into the driver’s seat for the test drive of the red one. As soon as he pulls out onto the main road and lets it get up to speed, he prompts you for the first bit of fake snobbery.

“What do you think, sweetheart?”

A long-suffering sigh escapes your lips as you lean back in your seat, wearing the most bored facial expression that you can manage.

“Ferraris have a reputation for speed,” you say, “but they don’t have the same level of meticulous craftsmanship found in an Aston Martin.”

Eddie has to dig his teeth into his bottom lip to keep from laughing. This act is so in contrast to your true personality last night when you found a fun sized KitKat in the bottom of your purse and were excited about it for the rest of the day.

“Ferrari’s have a more aerodynamic design than Aston Martins, which allows them to have a more aggressive and efficient performance,” Jason says from the back seat.

You don’t bother with a response, only humming a small, uninterested “mm” before turning your head to gaze out the window.

When you arrive back at the dealership, it’s your turn to get behind the wheel of the yellow sports car and Eddie’s turn to come up with obnoxious things to say.

“It’s really minimalist in here, isn’t it?” Eddie asks, inspecting the dials and buttons built into the dashboard. “You wouldn’t even know it’s a Ferrari if you didn’t look at the emblem on the steering wheel.”

“And it doesn’t ride as smoothly as the Porsche I drove in my last movie,” you add.

“Was it a prop car?” Jason asks.

You let out an offended snort.

“Absolutely not. You think I can’t tell the difference?”

“Oh no, that’s not what I meant to imply,” Jason says apologetically.

It’s the closest you and Eddie come to bursting out laughing.

“Was that in the superhero movie, baby?” Eddie asks.

“Hmm? Oh no, I drove a Lamborghini in that one,” you brag. “Which also rode smoother than this.”

This time when you get back to the dealership, Jason can’t get out of the car fast enough. You and Eddie share an amused look as you trail behind him back towards the building. Something tells you that Jason is going to be getting a drink after work tonight.

“So, what did you really think, babe?” you ask Eddie quietly, slipping your arm around his waist.

“I actually really liked the red one,” he admits with a laugh. “I’d hate to give him commission on a sale, though.”

“Aww, Eds,” you coo. “But then you’ll be the bigger man.”

“True.” Eddie considers. “Eh, what the hell? Then I can also hold being the bigger person over himl.”

You can’t help but giggle. It’s not exactly what you meant, but you can hardly blame him.

[cerastes]

I can't stop thinking about Kristen, or some say, Kirsten's trap hole working on Saria, it's funny, sure, but it's deep in a sad way. It's a Zhuge Liang vs Sima Yi situation, the famous anecdote where Zhuge Liang had basically no one to defend a city against Sima Yi's sizeable army, but when he learned that it was Sima Yi that lead the army, he simply opened the doors and welcome them in. Sima Yi immediately looked at this and said Absolutely The Fuck Not, He's Got Irons On The Fires, Plans Upon Plans, and retreated. This was a bluff that would only work on Sima Yi, and only if Zhuge Liang would use it. It's such an obvious bluff, which any other general would call out, and no general in their right mind would use. But, because it was Zhuge Liang using it against Sima Yi, because of their shared story, Sima Yi got mind bamboozled into a "He knows I know, he knows I know he knows I know" bluescreen loop, because Sima Yi would never fall for such an obvious bluff, but it's Zhuge Liang using it, and Zhuge Liang KNOWS that Sima Yi would never fall for it, but then, that in itself could be a trap, but but but but but.

And so he left. He did not take his chances. It was a bluff that could only work on him, if used by exactly one person.

To me, the trap hole scene is kind of like this. Kristen knows Saria. Better than anyone else. To the point that she knew exactly where and when she'd say something, and when and how exactly she could catch her with the oldest trick in the Acme playbook. Saria. The woman who couldn't be stopped with the Kristen-designed Anti-Saria Wall, which possessed Screw Saria Particularly effects. You could hit Saria with a warhead and the warhead loses that one in all likelihood.

But Kristen doesn't need a wall or a warhead. Kristen knows Saria. Better than anyone else. She knows her so well, she can topple her with a flap on the floor.

And yeah that's hilarious and all, but also, so deeply sad, because it's basically an acknowledgement of just how much Kristen has paid attention, how well she knows her, how immensely knowledgeable Kristen is about Saria.

It's sad because Kristen does not care. She ultimately decided she doesn't value this. She knows. She observed. She lived the most beautiful moments of both of their lives together. And she decided it was worthless in the end, and that she didn't care. She saw all of this as nothing more than a weapon to make a trap door on the floor work. All of that.

This is what makes Kristen so immensely fascinating and chilling. It's not that she doesn't care in terms of ignoring the world around her. Oh, she's observing, alright, she knows exactly what and who surrounds her. She simply doesn't care even if she knows all of these things. She doesn't care. Kristen Wright simply does not care. A level well above not noticing: She knows and observes and is aware, she simply decided those things are worthless.

That is the next level of indifference. I like her so much, she is awful.

[weebsinstash]

He's not in the show yet but as a comic reader I've been thinking a lot about how ABSOLUTELY AWFUL it would be to be a human captive of the Viltrumites and, forget Mark, forget Nolan, those two would not even compare because THRAGG is the real mf you don't want to be yandere for you

I was sitting and thinking about it and like. Just. Imagine being in a relationship or platonic yandere situationship with the Grayson family and then, boom, the invasion happens. You're just a helpless little human and Nolan traps you away to keep you safe while everything you've ever known and loved is taken from you. By the time you're "let out" the Earth and most of its major cities have been all but razed and Viltrumites and their construction drones are EVERYWHERE, rebuilding what was broken, essentially erasing the history of humanity

You're now a "registered human" under the official Viltrumite occupation of Earth. You have to wear an identification badge that can be scanned to identify you, to designate which Viltrumite you belong to, like some cat with a collar tag, and it also tracks your location at all times. Humans have extremely limited rights, and Nolan and Mark heavily restrict which other humans you can interact with because the occupying forces don't want some kind of rebellion (mostly though Mark and Nolan just couldn't risk any dumb humans putting any silly ideas in your head and getting you hurt when this life is good for you after all :( and what if some nasty little rebel tried to kiss you--)

But I just. I just picture Reader being Nolan's mate and at some point, you're sitting in your completely Viltrum-constructed home with Viltrum robots and androids that cook and clean and do everything for you and completely take away all your usefulness and agency for yourself when, someone comes to visit. Another Viltrumite you recognize from the broadcasts on TV. All you understand is that he's Nolan's boss on some level or another, and he came to speak with Nolan, but since the man isn't here, all his questions are directed to you

Can you even imagine you're like sitting there already suicidal and in comes Thragg asking why you aren't pregnant yet, like literally wanting actual fucking details about why you haven't bore a single child despite being with Nolan for a few years. I'm talking complete dehumanization as Thragg is asking you TO YOUR FACE how often you're having sex with Nolan, which positions, what do you do in bed, acting like you're doing something wrong. He asks what you do after mating and you just kind of start to reply and he sort of smirks, "you can still walk afterward?" And he seems grossly smug about it, but, this is a very threatening conversation to you. You have a man who could reduce you to paste at any moment and completely take away any luxury or privilege you and Nolan have and he's asking you extremely intimate questions you have to answer through ground teeth and at some point I'm sure he starts on about, "your duty as a woman"

Nolan comes home completely unaware that Thragg has been there and you're still sobbing on your hands and knees as you literally scrub the spotless floors by hand because Thragg told you what a submissive little servant you're expected to be as a lowly human woman and Nolan is trying to comfort you and your hands and fingers are literally pruning from cleaner as you keep crying and refuse to stop "because it's not good enough, it's not good enough"

At some point Nolan and Thragg get into it. Nolan is sent off on some mission that he very slightly underperformed on, or maybe he actually made a really huge tactical error, and here's Thragg, deciding to punish Nolan by. Taking you. Just straight up taking you away from Nolan like you're some kind of privilege he has been allowed and YEAH it is to be a servant/mate for Thragg himself. And Nolan makes a big fuss about how he's one of the ones who helped even conquer this damn rock, how dare the Grand Regent take his mate, but Thragg doesn't care and even if other Viltrumites who serve under him disagree, as you know he rules with such an iron fist that none dare to speak up

Can you even imagine you were with Nolan for like 5 years overall with never so much as a pregnancy scare and Thragg has you for like two months and boom, you're pregnant, in fact you're INSANELY pregnant, you've got TWINS, and for you noncomic readers, Viltrumite DNA is literally so aggressive that twins are literally quite literally unheard of because they cannibalize in the womb or only the strongest lives so, now you've presented Thragg with these nice shiny new little trophies he can self aggrandize over. The first Viltrumite twins in the entire history of their culture, and they're Thragg's

(Something something "what if thragg was having birth control put in your food so you wouldn't become pregnant by Nolan before he could manufacture an excuse to take you for himself" something something)

I also think like. Thragg had the twins in the comics, Ursaal and Onaan, so like. What if he already had the twins when you're taken from Nolan and you give him TRIPLETS. Like. Jesus not only is your fate sealed, you're going in the goddamn Viltrum history books as some sort of magical womb the oh so virile Grand Regent Thragg managed to conquer for himself idk 🙄🙄🙄

But I think it's just the concept of. Such a monstrously violent and cold dude realizing he has uncontrollable feelings for you and they're like FEELINGS FEELINGS, but he literally doesn't know how to act so he's being. Like. Kind of just blatantly shitty and abusive most of the time. You give him any lip and he's got his hands on your throat and threatening you but internally he's like. Turned on by your spice. He wishes you were a Viltrumite so he could be rougher with you. You two have a rare argument where you get those oh so rarely seen guts to talk down to him and later that night he's putting you in your place underneath him fucking you like he's trying to get another brood of children out of you

Think of just the little ways he could show affection which is completely foreign to him and he like doesn't even realize his own behavior and is rationalizing it as something else. He sees you talking to Ursaal one day, combing her hair, telling her that she could potentially consider cutting her hair as males tend to grab it as a battle tactic and he feels a little warmth in his chest as Ursaal dutifully nods "Yes Mother" and Onaan is lurking around the corner, jealous. Thragg forces you to make public appearances with him and you learn how to temper your emotions better, and you'll be brought along to school functions for the children, like Thragg smirking internally as you scold Onaan that he lost a scheduled fight because he's arrogant and wasn't properly paying attention to his opponents

You're forcibly assimilated deeper into Viltrumite culture, but you're also humanizing the Viltrumites you interact with. Ursaal and Onaan realize that they deeply desire more affection and support as children and become fiercely protective of you because you actually treat them with kindness. Thragg can act indifferent to you at best but one day you realize that you have significantly more privileges as his mate than Nolan's and you march off to Thragg's place of work because maybe the twins wanted you to see where they work with their father and you're brought into Thragg's office and he's as stonefaced as ever while you're like. Surrounded by photos of yourself just all over the place. The one on his desk directly in front of him isn't even one of you smiling, it's you scowling with a glare and looking pissed and apparently that one is his favorite. And Thragg is like not even bothered by you seeing all these photos, and his kids are just completely nonchalant like this is all totally normal, "oh, Father, you had a memorial photo made from where you and Mother visited my school, I like this one--" as if these uh collages have been up for quite some time, some maybe even taken from security cameras from your time with Nolan--

I just picture like. Can you imagine the triplet scenario and you wind up giving Thragg Mark, Ursaal, and Onaan, and you bond more with Mark as a late bloomer and the one who is the most human and his siblings are getting monstrously jealous and Thragg doesn't want his legacy tied to a weak powerless Viltrumite, like this man would rather have Mark be dead than not have powers, and Thragg is trying to force you and Mark apart. Can you even conceive like, being a mom and you walk into the room and your son is being absolutely brutalized by his father who is convinced he is hiding his powers or something and you have to shield your own son from his father before he kills him. Could you EVEN IMAGINE Thragg going to throw Mark off of whatever cyberpunk skyscraper nightmare you're living in because he's convinced the panic will make his boy finally learn how to fly and you have to watch as he just drops your (favorite) child off the building and Mark ... never comes back up. Thragg just sees how absolutely devastated you are and convinces himself it's because you're emotional and weak and just casually, "we can make another" (although I imagine in this scenario Mark was saved by Nolan and the two train and eventually basically spearhead a rebellion against Thragg and his empire and rescue you and restore Earth, but, whatever lmao)

I feel like as a general thing, yandere Thragg would often indulge in and enjoy the fact you couldn't deny him sex, because even if you try to deny him, what are you gonna do, overpower him? So he uses it to assert control over you. You snap at him or mouth off, you're getting railed that night to remind you how powerless you are, that you're still his mate. You two have a nasty fight where you legitimately manage to wound his pride, you're getting fucked near unconscious and you're essentially "grounded" for the next few days if not weeks where you aren't allowed to leave your home (maaaaybe because you've managed to make him insecure that his little mate doesn't like him 👉👈 he can't have anyone else steal you away, not when you're making him feel all these powerful emotions he doesn't even know what to call)

You're not even aware of it but the surveillance systems in your home are being CONSTANTLY tuned into all the time, if not by him, then by his own children who are tasked with watching you. I also feel like having the kids on the mix kind of makes everything kind of grotesque. Like imagine you just wake up and you're going by your business one day and you walk into the room and Thragg has your like 5 year old toddlers gathered around a table with knives and weapons on it and you hear little Mark say, "all these things can hurt Mom?" "They can" "even though they're so soft?" "Only to Viltrumites like us" "Mother is really that... weak?" And you realize Thragg is turning your own children into weapons to use against you, watch you, report back to him, because... your kids aren't like you. They're Viltrumites like him and he'll be damned if you make them 'too soft'

But I imagine a day comes when he's forced to at least semi-confront these feelings. Ursaal and Onaan are dedicated little soldiers to him, but also seem to respect your authority as their mother, something Thragg also sometimes encourages (since your "rank" as their mother earns a certain degree of respect and he's trying to teach them to respect the chain of command, even if you are a soft human). Ursaal and Onaan take a mission to another planet with their father and they return and Onaan has a gift for you, an alien flower he thought you might like, something he took without telling his father, but. He doesn't realize there's something wrong with it, something that wouldnt bother a Viltrumite but would definitely harm a human. The second you touch the plant, the second some of its pollen touches your akin, enters your lungs, you start becoming ill, very, very, very ill.

Thragg is trying to tell himself you're just another mate to him, just another bearer of his many many many children that he has no emotional attachments to, but the second he receives word that you might ACTUALLY BE DYING like genuinely actually fucking dying, there's no hesitation. The next time you open your eyes, you're in a Viltrum-run hospital in a lavish sanitized room receiving ONLY the best of care as Thragg is sitting in a chair beside your bed staring directly at you as if he had been staring at your unconscious body perhaps the entire time you were asleep. There's almost a visible relaxation of his posture as you're able to hold a conversation with him, but, his voice is, lowered but firm as he tells you you have yet to fully recover, that you're in isolation to reduce the risk of foreign pathogens. He feels the need to tell you in detail how severely Onaan was beaten for almost costing you your life, almost as if he's seeking your approval, some sort of forgiveness. You ask him how long he's been sitting there and he just deflects and tells you you're still too weak to hold a conversation and to conserve your strength, that the two of you can speak later.

Once you've recovered, it doesn't even seem like he's that interested in sex anymore, but the notoriously sturdy Viltrumite is suddenly returning home much more often now, if only to hold you as you sleep in the marital bed you share with him....

I guess as one final, final suggestion, I can't get over like. Is there an upper limit on the whole "oh you had Viltrum DNA but it just didn't kick in yet" thing. Could you imagine like, once the Viltrum invasion has begun and you're "acquired" for either Nolan or Thragg or whomever, you're scanned or whatever by Viltrum tech and they're like "oh hey what up, Viltrumite DNA detected? Dope?" And maybe it could even be "weak" like from a grandparent or something but, it inevitably "kicks in" and now you have to confront all the new caveats this brings with you. You're expected to live as a Viltrumite now. Maybe Thragg seems to find you a little less pathetic and personally wants to train you himself because he doesn't want the most publicly visible and famous of his mates to be weak. Also just maybe he's glad he can have rougher sex with you. I can just imagine he's forcing you two to have some sort of spar amd you have some sort of natural aptitude or higher than average strength and you wind up really giving him at least ONE really good fucking punch to the face and he's wrestling you down, pinning you down and forcing a kiss onto you as the blood from his broken nose drips onto both of your faces, like

Yeah, anyways I have normal feelings about this series tee hee 😘

[ashtonsunshine]

The urge to throw the work tablet against a wall is also through the stratosphere today.

The urge to tell my manager to fuck off is skyrocketing today.

[txttletale]

Your discussions on AI art have been really interesting and changed my mind on it quite a bit, so thank you for that! I don’t think I’m interested in using it, but I feel much less threatened by it in the same way. That being said, I was wondering, how you felt about AI generated creative writing: not, like AI writing in the context of garbage listicles or academic essays, but like, people who generate short stories and then submit them to contests. Do you think it’s the same sort of situation as AI art? Do you think there’s a difference in ChatGPT vs mid journey? Legitimate curiosity here! I don’t quite have an opinion on this in the same way, and I’ve seen v little from folks about creative writing in particular vs generated academic essays/articles

i think that ai generated writing is also indisputably writing but it is mostly really really fucking awful writing for the same reason that most ai art is not good art -- that the large training sets and low 'temperature' of commercially available/mass market models mean that anything produced will be the most generic version of itself. i also think that narrative writing is very very poorly suited to LLM generation because it generally requires very basic internal logic which LLMs are famously bad at (i imagine you'd have similar problems trying to create something visual like a comic that requires consistent character or location design rather than the singular images that AI art is mostly used for). i think it's going to be a very long time before we see anything good long-form from an LLM, especially because it's just not a priority for the people making them.

ultimately though i think you could absolutely do some really cool stuff with AI generated text if you had a tighter training set and let it get a bit wild with it. i've really enjoyed a lot of AI writing for being funny, especially when it was being done with tools like botnik that involve more human curation but still have the ability to completely blindside you with choices -- i unironically think the botnik collegehumour sketch is funnier than anything human-written on the channel. & i think that means it could reliably be used, with similar levels of curation, to make some stuff that feels alien, or unsettling, or etheral, or horrifying, because those are somewhat adjacent to the surreal humour i think it excels at. i could absolutely see it being used in workflows -- one of my friends told me recently, essentially, "if i'm stuck with writer's block, i ask chatgpt what should happen next, it gives me a horrible idea, and i immediately think 'that's shit, and i can do much better' and start writing again" -- which is both very funny but i think presents a great use case as a 'rubber duck'.

but yea i think that if there's anything good to be found in AI-written fiction or poetry it's not going to come from chatGPT specifically, it's going to come from some locally hosted GPT model trained on a curated set of influences -- and will have to either be kind of incoherent or heavily curated into coherence.

that said the submission of AI-written stories to short story mags & such fucking blows -- not because it's "not writing" but because it's just bad writing that's very very easy to produce (as in, 'just tell chatGPT 'write a short story'-easy) -- which ofc isn't bad in and of itself but means that the already existing phenomenon of people cynically submitting awful garbage to literary mags that doesn't even meet the submission guidelines has been magnified immensely and editors are finding it hard to keep up. i think part of believing that generative writing and art are legitimate mediums is also believing they are and should be treated as though they are separate mediums -- i don't think that there's no skill in these disciplines (like, if someone managed to make writing with chatGPT that wasnt unreadably bad, i would be very fucking impressed!) but they're deeply different skills to the traditional artforms and so imo should be in general judged, presented, published etc. separately.

[s-u-g-a-r-rush1997]

Could you do turbo x reader where reader is a background racer from turbo-Time?

I kind of got a bit carried away with this one just a bit. I enjoyed writing it too much, maybe. It's not angsty, per say, but it's kind of a little sad. I tried to write it with a more romantic pairing, but it kind of came out as an unrequited crush.

Sorry, Turbo's too focused on Roadblasters and is fucking oblivious.

Pairing: Turbo x reader

Rating: safe for work

Warnings: None, though Turbo is kind of an ass in this one What else is new

Turbo-Time background racer reader and Turbo

If the Turbo twins were a pair, then you and Turbo were too, just with opposing dynamics. Or, well, you’d like to think so. You did share his colors, after all – though perhaps that was more a product of a limited color palette than anything.

Where the twins were programmed to be identical, to have the exact same level of skill when it came to racing, you and Turbo had an opposing dynamic. That is to say, while Turbo’s skill in racing was excellent, yours left something to be desired. You were, quite literally, designed to fail. A third place prize isn’t a prize at all if there’s no one worse off – it’s just last place.

Perhaps that’s why he was so attached to you. It seemed counterintuitive at first glance; he was so full of himself, so confident in his popularity and skill, that associating with someone who was designed to have none seemed beneath him. But you weren’t a rival like the twins. Sure, Turbo was programmed to be the best, but during the opening hours of the arcade, his skill was dependent entirely on the player. While an awful player could mean a victory for one of the Twins, it meant nothing for you.

So you were his only companion; by his choice, of course. It clearly had nothing to do with how insufferable people thought he was. How loudly he talked. How he craved attention more than anything.

You hated to admit it – you didn’t want to think of him that way – but you were starting to see why people thought that.

“I don’t understand,” he’d shouted the moment the arcade closed for the night, “I’m the greatest racer this arcade has ever seen. Why would anyone want to play Roadblasters?” The name was spat from his tongue like it was something sour and unpleasant.

You sighed and leaned against the side of his car, tired. You’d heard this rant repeated over and over for the past three days now. Even still, you listened, draping an arm across his back and pulling him close.

You squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. “They just want to see the new game, that’s all.”

This jealousy would pass, just as it always did. He was more worked up than you’d ever seen him, but it would all be okay in the end. He’d go back to his normal self. Soon, you’d be back to hanging out at Tappers. Maybe he’d show you more of his drawings he so carefully hid from everyone else. Maybe he’d take you for a ride in his Kart – you hadn’t done that together for a long time now.

“They’ve already seen it!” Turbo argued, arms flailing wildly, shattering the illusion, “it’s been days now. More than long enough! Roadblasters isn’t new anymore. Players should be coming back here by now.”

You catch his wrist, and his attention, wrapping his hand in your own. “The players love you, Turbo.” He laces his fingers with yours. His palm is a little sweaty, but you don’t mind.

He grins wildly, his lips pulled back so far it almost looked more like a grimace. “Of course they do!”

“Of course they do,” you repeat, smiling warmly, “you’re the greatest racer in the whole arcade, you said so yourself.” He preens under the praise. “So, let’s just forget about them, at least for tonight.”

Turbo grits his teeth. His fingers dig into your hand just a bit too firmly to feel comfortable. He sucks his teeth with a hiss. Just when you think he’s going to start arguing again he, somehow, manages to bite his tongue.

“How about one last race?” he finally offers with that same wild, grimace of a smile.

“You’ll just lap me!” you argue. But there’s no bite in your words. You don’t actually mind losing.

Turbo looks at you with this stupid, arrogant smirk – but it’s a genuine smile. It meets his eyes, and they crinkle at the edges. “You’re just a sore loser.”

“Fine,” you scoff, “one last race."

You adjust the straps of your helmet. You rev your engine loudly as the countdown begins. And for good measure you turn to look at him.

“Eat my dust, Turbo!” you call out to him, just before you speed off together. You don’t get much time to look at him, but he was smiling. Brows furrowed, lips pulled back almost as if he was snarling. And he cackles when he passes you. It’s no surprise when he does lap you. Of course he boasts. But you don’t mind. He’s happy. He’s forgotten Roadblasters.

And maybe come morning, when the arcade opens and players come flooding in, his rivalry would stay forgotten.

[queenshelby]

The Accident (Part Six)

Pairing: Reader & Cillian Murphy

Warning: Domestic Abuse, Religious Themes, Trafficking

Thank you @blondie-22 for this amazing idea!

Almost an hour later, Cillian pulled up to the curb of his townhouse in one of Dublin's sought-after neighborhoods. Sitting in the back of his car, with your two children, your heart pounding in sync with the rain that pattered against his windshield.

Cillian turned to Sarah, who clutched Mr. Cuddles tightly. "Do you want to come inside?" he asked politely and Sarah peered out the window, eyes wide as she took in the large home.

“Is that your house?" she asked, her voice a little shaken as she was still unsure what was going on. Even though Cillian made an effort to talk to her during the car journey, the unfamiliarity of it all left her fidgeting with her toy.

“It is,” Cillian replied, offering a reassuring smile. “It’s a safe place, and I promise you’ll be okay here.”

You held Mika close, swaying slightly as she cooed softly in your arms. The unfamiliar surroundings thrummed with tension, and a flicker of panic crept into your thoughts. You gave Cillian a grateful nod and stepped out into the gloom, the rain cooling the heat of anxiety that simmered just beneath the surface.

Cillian led the way up the stone path, glancing back occasionally to ensure you and Sarah followed.

Once you made it through the path, Cillian pulled out his key and unlocked the sturdy wooden door. It creaked as he pushed it open, revealing a spacious entryway bathed in soft light.

"I don't even know what to say," you mumbled, your voice barely above a whisper as you stepped inside, holding back tears. His home immediatly felt like a sanctuary, with soft hues that embraced you, offering a stark contrast to the chaos you had escaped.

“You don’t have to say anything right now. Just take a moment," Cillian responded as you crossed into the foyer, your shoes squeaking against the polished wood floor.

It felt alien, untouched by the chaos that had enveloped your recent life. Sunlight pierced through large windows, illuminating the tasteful decor—a far cry from the cluttered corners of your old life.

Sarah, still grasping Mr. Cuddles, stepped in tentatively, her eyes darting around the room, absorbing the sight of framed photographs and elegant furnishings.

"You have a big house," she muttered, a hint of awe creeping into her voice.

Cillian knelt down to her level, his blue eyes sparkling. "It's big enough for you and your mom to feel at home tonight, okay? And tomorrow we will figure out what to do," he said gently.

You shifted Mika in your arms, watching Cillian interact with Sarah, noting the way his soft demeanor seemed to put her at ease but, just as Sarah's mood shifted to one of contempt, an attractive but rather anngry looking woman came down the stairs.

Naomi, with her long blonde hair cascading over her shoulders, eyed the scene before her with a mix of surprise and irritation. Her green eyes narrowed as she took in the sight of you, the unexpected guests nestled in what was her home.

“You can't be fucking serious," Naomi’s voice dripped with disdain as she stepped further into the room, arms crossed tightly over her designer nightgiwn.

"Nom, please," Cillian pleaded, raising a hand in a gesture of truce. "It's not a big deal and it's just for tonight," he continued, his voice steady but strained.

Naomi's jaw clenched as she scanned the hallway, taking in you and the children. "You think dragging a stranger into our home is okay?" Her voice dripped with venom, and you could feel the tension coil in the air like a spring ready to snap.

"I am sorry, I should go. It wasn't my intention to intrude, Cillian," you blurted out, the words tumbling out in a rush as panic gripped you. “I didn’t want to cause any trouble.”

Cillian stepped closer, placing a firm hand on Sarah's shoulder who, by that point, was upset and started to cry. “It's fine," he rassured you before looking at Naomi again. “Just give them a chance, Nom. She needs—”

“Needs what? A place to crash?" Naomi interrupted, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "You think letting a homeless woman with two kids, who just breezed in from who knows where, stay here, is a smart idea?" she went on to say and you could feel the sharpness of her words cut through the air like a blade. "She could be a thief or worse," Naomi finished with a sneer, her perfect features contorting into a mask of disdain as she took a deliberate step back.

Desperation washed over you. “I’m not a thief,” you sputtered , your voice shaking. “I just," you stammered. "I should leave. I am sorry. She is right, Cillian. You don't owe me anything. I just did not kno who else to call," you explained, trembeling as you held Mika closer, feeling her warmth against your body.

“The homeless shelter would have been a good idea," Naomi shot back, her cynicism slicing through your mounting anxiety. “But instead, you chose to bring your mess into our lives.”

Cillian's eyes burned with frustration. "Enough, Naomi!" he snapped, his voice rising above the tension that thickened the air as he approached her, wanting to talk in private.

He turned slightly, keeping his voice low but firm. "You need to understand what’s happening here. She has no residency card and her husband has been abusing her. Her kids need a safe place, just for tonight and you should know what it's like, don't you?" he asked his fiancee, referring to the fact that, her and her sister grew up in forster care, but Naomi's face hardened, the defenses in her eyes hardening like steel.

"That was different, Cillian. This isn’t a charity case. Bringing her in here complicates everything!" Noami argued.

"For a little while, yes. But so what?" Cillian stepped forward, his frustration bubbling to the surface, but his voice gentle. "Maybe we can help her find something more permanent. You don’t know what it’s like to live in fear every day.”

Naomi's expression hardened, disbelief etched across her features. “Cillian, if this is about your dead wife, then you need to go back to therapy rather than bringing home some strays," she snapped, crossing her arms tighter across her chest, her demeanor icy.

“Stop right there, Naomi,” Cillian shot back, his frustration simmering just beneath the surface. "Leanna's passing has nothing to do with this situation. This is about a woman and her children needing help. Nothing more and nothing less," Cillian stated firmly, his eyes boring into Naomi's, igniting the tension between them.

"Fine. One night," Naomi relented, though her tone dripped with contempt. “But you’re on your own. I want nothing to do with this. I am going to bed and you better make sure that she doesn't steal anything," Naomi hissed, her voice becoming a mere whisper as she stormed up the stairs, leaving an icy silence in her wake.

Cillian sighed heavily, frustration casting shadows across his features as he turned back to you and Sarah. "I'm sorry about that. She's... well, she’s a little set in her ways at times," Cillian said, a rueful smile touching his lips as he ran a hand through his hair. “But she is actually a kind person. She just does not trust strangers," he added, attempting to smooth over the awkwardness.

You nodded, unsure of how to respond, your stomach twisted with anxiety at the confrontation.

Cillian took a deep breath, shaking off the tension as he crouched down to Sarah’s level again. “Hey, look," he said, his voice warm and inviting, "I think I kept some toys from when my daughter was your ages. Do you want me to get them for you? You could play with them," Cillian offered, his voice lightening the tension that hung in the air.

“Really?” Sarah’s eyes sparkled with curiosity, a flicker of excitement pushing past the remnants of fear.

Cillian nodded enthusiastically. “Absolutely! Just wait right here,” he said, standing up and heading toward a door leading to the basement. Sarah watched Cillian disappear into the basement, her small fingers twisting Mr. Cuddles as anticipation lit her face. You shifted your weight, still cradling Mika against you.

The house settled into a thoughtful silence, as if allowing the tension to breathe. The soft hum of the refrigerator filled the space, and the rain outside danced against the windows. You gazed at Sarah, wondering how much she truly understood. Her innocent demeanor inst softened the jagged edges of your anxiety, but a shadow flickered across your mind as the echo of bitter memories resurfaced.

Cillian eventually returned with a slightly dusty box under one arm.

“Here it is!” he announced, opening it to reveal a collection of colorful toys. Sarah gasped, her eyes lighting up as she spotted a bright red fire truck.

“Whoa! Can I really play with this?” Sarah asked, her voice bubbling with excitement as she reached out for the toy, her fingers trembling with eagerness.

“Of course!" Cillian grinned wide, his eyes sparkling with genuine delight as he handed her the fire truck. “It's all yours now,” he added, casting a glance toward you and then to Mika, who was cooing softly.

"How old is your daughter?" you asked, shifting your weight as you rocked Mika gently in your arms, your curiosity cutting through the anxious remnants of the previous confrontation.

“She’s almost seventeen now,” Cillian replied, warmth radiating from his voice. "She's at school camp though, probably getting into some mischief," he chuckled softly, his eyes glinting with affection.

“Seventeen?” you echoed, letting the reality swirl around in your mind. “She’s almost a grown-up then," you blurted out, realising the age difference between Cillian and yourself. He was in a very different stage of his life than you were.

"Time flies," Cillian agreed, his gaze drifting off as if he were momentarily lost in memories of his daughter.

"Are you divorced from her mother then? Because, the woman you are with, she is clearly too young to have a seventeen your old," you asked, a hint of curiosity flickering in your voice as you tilted your head slightly, observing the way his face changed at the mention of his wife.

"I am sorry. This was too direct wasn't it?" you murmured, embarrassment creeping into your voice.

Cillian shook his head, his expression softening. “No, it’s fine. My wife, Leanna... she passed away several years ago. It’s a part of my story, you know? She was a remarkable person," he explained and the warmth of his tone flickered with sadness, his gaze drifting as though he were trying to conjure up her presence.

You felt the heaviness of his words settle in the air, a solemn vibration amidst the chaos. “I’m really sorry,” you said, your voice softening. “I didn’t mean to bring that up."

Cillian managed a small smile, the corners of his mouth turning up despite the weight of the conversation. "It's alright. Talking about her helps keep her alive in my memory," he said, his gaze shifting back to you, the lightness returning to his eyes. "Besides, it helps to remind me of what matters in life,” Cillian said, his voice steadying as he refocused on you.

You nodded, understanding that loss could carve deep lines in one's heart; ones that often remained visible, shadowed in the quiet moments. You didn't dare to ask what happened to her and how she passed . Instead, you let the silence settle for a moment, absorbing the warmth of Cillian's kind presence and the chaos still swirling in your own mind.

As Sarah busied herself with the fire truck, crashing it into the wooden furniture and making engine sounds, the tension in the room began to ease. You watched her laugh, her innocence illuminating the room, if only temporarily.

"What about you? What is your story?" Cillian eventually asked as he led you to the kitchen, offering you some lemonade.

You accepted the glass, the coolness of the lemonade a stark contrast to the heat of the moment you’d just experienced. You paused, looking down at the drink as you struggled to find the words that could encapsulate the chaos of your life—the fear, the hurt, the relentless need for survival.

“I grew up in a small town,” you began, taking a deep breath. “Like a commune. Very religious," you explained to Cillian, the words steadying you as you spoke. “I was told what to wear, how to act—everything was planned out for me. And then there was an arranged marriage, which is how I ended up here. I was sixteen, and... I didn’t really have a choice. I had to get married and have children.” The words tumbled out, heavy and laden with the weight of buried memories.

Cillian leaned against the kitchen counter , arms crossed, listening intently. His expression shifted from curiosity to concern, the gravity of your words pulling him in deeper.

“Sixteen?” he echoed, disbelief etched in his features.

"Yes ," you confirmed, your voice barely above a whisper. “I was just a child," barely allowing yourself to breathe as the truth tumbled from your lips.

"Fuck," Cillian murmured, his eyes darkening with empathy. “I am so sorry you had to go through that. No one should ever have to live their life like that."

You took a slow sip of the lemonade, the tartness biting against the backdrop of emotions swirling inside you. “I thought it would get better, you know?” you continued, your voice soft, yet steady. “I kept hoping that once I have a child, he would be kinder to me, that things would change. But they didn't. They only got worse.” The vulnerability felt raw as the memories washed over you, each one sharper than the last.

Cillian's expression darkened as he absorbed your words and, just as you spoke, his jaw clenched involuntarily. “No one deserves that,” he said firmly, a simmering anger flickering behind his blue eyes. "And you won't have to go back to him. I promise," he declared, his voice steady, like an anchor in the turbulent sea of your life.

You searched his eyes, desperate for the truth behind his words. “Why are you helping me when you don't even know me?" you asked again and Cillian leaned in slightly, sincerity radiating from his expression. “Like I said before, because it is the right thing to do. You’re a mother, and you deserve a chance at something better. It's as simple as that and I believe that showing some empathy can go a long way. Everyone has their battles, and I understand how important it is to find support when you’re at your lowest."

You swallowed hard, the lump in your throat tightening as emotions swir led through your chest, catching in your breath. “I don’t know what to say," you managed, your voice thick with gratitude. "You barely know me, yet you're offering so much.”

Cillian shrugged, a modest smile creeping across his lips. “Well, I can't ignore your situation when I have the means to help. I’ve lost too much myself to turn away from someone who needs it. Life’s too short to be selfish and, if I can make a difference, even a small one, I will.”

You held his gaze, absorbing the warmth in his voice, and for the first time in what felt like forever, a flicker of hope ignited within you.

“You make it sound so simple ,” you said, shaking your head slightly, your heart fluttering with the weight of possibility. “But life is far from simple. I feel like I’ve been drowning, and now maybe, for the first time, I can see a lifeline.”

Cillian nodded, his expression filled with understanding. “Drowning can feel inescapable, especially when you’re in survival mode.I have been there myself and it was actually Naomi, the woman you met before, who helped me see the light again after I lost Leanna. At first, it was like a band-aid, but it grew into something else I guess,” Cillian admitted, his gaze softening as he reflected on the past and, even though his relationship with Naomi was complicated, he was grateful for her prsence.

"Now, do you want me to show you to the guest room, so you can settle down?" Cillian finally asked, wanting to change the topic.

You nodded slowly, the weariness of the past few weeks crashing over you like a wave. Just the thought of settling into a space that felt safe, even if only for a moment, lightened the burden on your chest.

Cillian gestured toward the staircase, his demeanor shifting to one of gentle encouragement. “Follow me,” he said, leading you down a narrow hallway adorned with photographs of smiling faces and picturesque landscapes. Cillian's home sang with the echoes of laughter, the warmth of memories captured in time.

"Is this your wife?" you gestured toward a beautiful framed photograph hanging on the wall, your gaze lingering on the smiling woman beside Cillian in the picture, a woman you had seen before, on many occassions.

"Yes, that was Leanna," he said softly, stepping closer to the frame as if reconnecting with a part of his past.

"Oh my god, I have met her," you exclaimed, the realization crashing over you like a wave. “She was at the shelter when I ran away the first time. She... she helped me. I was eighteen and had an abortion. James didn't know. She was one of the clinic nurses who came to check on everyone at the shelter after the procedures. But then I couldn't stay there because I had no identification, so I never got to thank her," you confessed, your voice trembling as memories surged forward.

Cillian's eyes widened in surprise. "She worked at the clinic in Southbank," he said, disbelief and a hint of admiration mingling in his voice.

“She did and she was incredibly kind," you recalled, the memories flooding back with clarity.

Cillian turned to look at you, his expression a blend of shock and reverence. “You know, I didn’t realise that she reached out to anyone at the shelter. She often mentioned wanting to do something more after we moved here, but she focused so much on Nina and her commitments at the clinic," Cillian finished, his voice touched with a bittersweet fondness. "Anyway, let's get you settled in," he said, motioning for you to follow him down the hall as you noticed his eyes tearing up, a hint of nostalgia lingering in his gaze.

Tags:

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[tmos-time]

hello hello hello!!! It has been. Quite a while! I hope your year is going well and that your pride month has had a wonderful start! Or at the very least hasn't been bad :D May I have a headcanon in these trying times :? Perhaps one pertaining to an au? Or whatever's been on your mind lately

aw hey!!! hope your year has been going well too!! i have decided to give you my erisol understuck au proof of concept thoughts LOL

i have rotated this damn mini au in my head so many times. the comedy to be found in eridan being mettaton AND the royal scientist (and half-assedly pretending not to be) at the same time while sollux is stuck being an assistant/maintenance worker/public-facing royal scientist is so silly to me <3 anyways heres key notes on the au under a read more lol

eridan immediately shows off his walking around form to MSPA reader (who is obviously the best choice to be in the frisk role in an undertale au lets be real here) BEFORE the trivia show. sollux is also way more subtle about giving the right answers away, but still fucks up by pointing out a trick question, leading to the crush question

eridan's answers for "who does sol have a crush on" are aradia, feferi, karkat, and equius. this leads to bickering, mainly spurred by sollux being dumbfounded that eridan would put equius as an option out of all fourth options. MSPA reader, after listening to them yapping at each other for long enough, can get the option to pick eridan over the other options instead, leading to eridan flusteredly turning back to his little flying box form and comically floating away into the rafters. otherwise, the trivia battle ends on eridan trying to make fun of sollux and sollux complaining that everyone around him is stupid and cant read emotions lol

the rest of the hotland route is pretty unplanned; sollux probably minds his business, doesnt add you to his social media, and is blunt when having to direct you through the puzzles. he has no issues about being liked like alphys does hes is Just There he is Chilling. if you pick eridan in the trivia battle theres bonus dialogue sollux brings up about eridan + they probably get a "yeah i give a shit about you i guess, whatever, shut up" level of a confession scene after eridan's battle lol

not getting into all the ELABORATE thoughts i have on how the geno route would go but listen. look at the design i gave eridan. you know hes going down in one hit with a well placed shattering of the glass stomach as a homage to his canon death LOL

[lilithofpenandbook]

You know what, fuck Neville Longbottom.

He was NEVER supposed to be a sympathetic character! He's very clearly a character written to be made fun of for being ridiculous! Him being so scared of everything isn't an endearing character trait designed to evoke sympathy and understanding, it's a FLAW that's meant to make you wanna shake him and yell at him to get a fucking grip!

I grew up reading boarding school books, specifically the Enid Blyton ones, which I believe almost every single British child has read. The school stories are mostly traditionally girls' books, and they all have very similar character tropes and themes, some of which are shared with Harry Potter, which is a boarding school story. There's always at least one jokester, such as Alicia in Malory Towers. She's brilliant, intelligent, but she's rather unkind and thoughtless, and always pulls pranks, or rather tricks, on people, especially the one french teacher. She's exactly like Fred and George, practical jokers who are popular and well liked but not always very kind and don't always consider the outcome of their pranks. There's always an incredibly strict teacher the girls don't dare play funny with. In the third book there's this one teacher I cannot recall the name for, but she, I believe, is considered mean and strict and awful up until the end where it turns out she's actually got a good heart. She's not the level of pantomime meanness as Snape is, (perhaps because she's not a male teacher and also not teaching the kids something that could kill them all), but she's a similar trope.

Actually, Snape reminds of the teachers from the old Beano comic, overly strict and mean, but when you consider the shit those kids put them through you can kinda understand why. But ultimately, Snape is a classic children's trope: the mean strict teacher who actually deep inside would take care of the students.

Neville? He's ALSO a trope! The ridiculous coward!

Going back to Malory Towers, there's Mary-Lou. She's a very cowardly, nervous girl (and a sweetheart, but a scaredy cat nonetheless). And that's a FLAW. NOBODY SYMPATHISES WITH HER BECAUSE WHAT SHE'S AFRAID OF IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF! They at best pity her because it's a miserable way to live, but they don't support her for it. There are multiple full plots where the aim is her having to do something scary to get her to shake off this cowardliness, at least one outright organised by another character in an attempt to show her she can be brave.

Scaredy Cat characters in British children's media, especially in these school stories, are never scaredy cats to be sympathised with. They're there as a sort of comedic relief or to make things interesting, and are often considered a nuisance, the way Neville is! In the first book there's a very classic "you need to learn to stand up for yourself" piece involving Neville. Which he does!

People seem to be projecting all sorts of trauma onto Neville. Especially regarding Snape. There seems to be, in this current time, an attitude that him being a coward is something other people need to be accommodating for, and that he's a victim, especially regarding Snape. Neville is not a victim. He's not supposed to be accommodated for, especially in the climate he's living in. He exists as a comic character, and clearly to be a bit ironic as he's a coward in the house of courage. But regardless, his cowardice is not the result of trauma no matter how much people project it onto him and blame Snape for it.

Neville's cowardice is a flaw. It makes him ridiculous. He's afraid of absolutely nothing important at all. He's afraid of a teacher? That's absolutely stupid! Everyone laughs at him. Even he's aware that this is something stupid to be afraid of. He's more afraid of his grandmother, to the point that he didn't mention her because he was that afraid of her being his boggart. It just happened Lupin used the grandma, unaware of the situation, as an idea of how to make the boggart look ridiculous. So it makes me mad that people use the boggart scene as proof that Snape traumatised Neville. Neville is not traumatised. He's just an idiot.

Yes, I've gone there and I'm staying there. He is an idiot. He's frightened of stupid things. He keeps fucking up basic potions, basic spells, everything, to the point that McGonagall forbade him from doing anything in front of the visiting schools because he's that bad at everything. Can he help it?

Yes. He can help it. Instead of being a coward and crying about it, he can just as easily be confident, own up to it, and be more bold in trying to be better. His cowardly nature is what makes people lose respect for him. Something that makes sense considering the setting of the story!

Neville's arc is him growing up and getting confidence by going through difficulties and rising to meet them, not by other people gently helping him through his nonsense (and it is nonsense). That's not how things work in the setting of Hogwarts at all. In the setting and culture of Hogwarts, there's no gentle helping, it's "pull yourself together!". That's exactly the attitude everyone gives Neville, from the students to the teachers.

Neville's cowardice is ridiculous. It's as much of a flaw as Draco's arrogance, Snape's unpleasantness, McGonagall's competitiveness, and so on. He is not meant to be babied for it, or called "traumatised", he's meant to be scolded and shaken until he gets some sense knocked into him.

Snape's approach to Neville is exactly what you'd expect in this context. Maybe another teacher would have less of an unpleasant attitude about it, but in the end they WILL lose patience with him because all he's doing is not learning and trying to make him learn the same thing everyone else learnt last week is going to waste everyone's time. It makes zero sense to spend time trying to get one child to understand a basic concept that everyone else understood ages ago instead of moving with the curriculum. Snape is naturally mad at Neville for messing up the clear instructions that are right there on the board. He's rightfully mad about it. He's rightfully mad that Neville won't learn. He's rightfully mad that Neville's putting them in danger. Yes, he's got an unpleasant attitude, but he's right to be mad. He's also right to use Trevor to make Neville learn. People make it seem like he wanted to poison Neville to upset him. No. He was raising the stakes for Neville so that the love Neville had for his toad would force Neville to get his act together! Which is exactly what I'd expect from a teacher in this context dealing with a student like Neville! Fuck that, that's exactly what I would have done if I'd have had to deal with this idiot for multiple years and he still fucks up the simplest and clearest instructions. If Snape wanted Trevor hurt, he simply wouldn't have restored Trevor to his original state and killed him.

And lastly, not every unpleasant experience is a traumatic experience. One single unpleasant teacher is not going to traumatise Neville or anyone else! It's just a part of life. What, do you want everyone to be nice and coddle these kids so when they leave the safety of Hogwarts they aren't equipped to deal with people who are unpleasant? People love to project and find trauma in every unpleasant situation (for fucks sake they say DUMBLEDORE traumatised Tom when in reality Tom's a sulky baby who's mad that Dumbledore did not fawn over him like everyone else and actually called out his shit) but not every unpleasant situation is a traumatic situation!

And you know what, fuck it but some people have to go through a traumatic event to learn a fucking lesson. Dudley abused his cousin. Being "traumatised", or rather punished for his actions by being turned into a pig is what he deserved/needed, and even then did that stop him tormenting Harry? No! Draco being turned into a ferret? Yes, traumatising, but he's also a bully who needed to be taken down a peg! Neville being "traumatised" by Snape? Good! It may kick the cowardice out of him and make him a bit more cautious about dangerous potions!

Trauma is Snape being bullied by the Marauders for no reason, being abused by his father. Trauma is Harry being abused by the Dursleys. Trauma is what Ginny went through in her first year. Trauma is Neville having to see his parents there but not there when visiting them.

Trauma is NOT dealing with an unpleasant teacher.

Especially when you look at the context of when Harry Potter was written and where Hogwarts is set.

And Neville's cowardice isn't cute or endearing or something to baby, it's a fucking flaw that needs to be dealt with sternly.

[palomahasenteredthechat]

My thoughts on AQPDO

So, did this image appear in the actual film? Yeah, that's what I thought...

I loved it, and I was disappointed by it. This is long, so buckle in. Major Spoilers discussed below.

First, the outstanding: the performances. Holy hell. Lupita. Just...her talent is breathtaking. To sustain that level of intensity without overdoing it, I am simply in awe. Well done. I hope some attention is paid to her performance when award season rolls around. Ditto Alex Wolff. He did a LOT with so little screentime. Djimon too; they all were so, so moving.

Joe was so heartbreaking, and yet Joe's character is one of the things I am disappointed about, because I needed more. Not because I love Joe, but because the story needed it. I know there was a backstory that was cut, and to be honest I don't think that was necessarily a poor decision, but the issue is it was cut late in the creative process, versus in the writing, and that is where the problem is. More on that in a bit, but Joe delivered a sensitive and moving performance, and really understated as well. Not a bit of the cheeky Joe we have come to love so much that also I think pops out in Eddie and Michael occasionally. He was wholly immersed in Eric's reality and his energy complimented Lupita's so well; you can see how much they worked off each other. Dare I say she elevated his game. Another marathon performance and I can imagine how exhausting it must be to sustain that.

Second, Michael Sarnoski, hats off to you sir. The pacing, the way you put the story together visually, your heartbreaking script, just so well done. I hope they release the shooting script because I would love to read it and see the words (or lack of) that Joe and Lupita interpreted so movingly. I wonder if Michael has processed the death of a parent recently, because I felt so much emotion from this story. This film is about accepting the inevitability of death, while going through the five stages of grief, yet seeking to live fully regardless. Trigger warning: DO NOT see this movie if you are going through a rough time with someone who is terminally ill. It will wreck you. But this film is tragically, beautifully human. To deliver that story in a Hollywood big budget action film is a hat trick. Every actor in Hollywood who wants to grow creatively should be calling their agents asking to work with Michael Sarnoski right now.

Also, shout out to the production design people. They completely suspended my disbelief that the characters weren't in New York. Set design, lighting, like I could SMELL New York. Virtual production is getting so fucking good - we're well past the Unreal Wall vistas of the Mandalorian. If you ask yourself how A24 could shoot an Iraq war movie in the pastoral hills of England this is your answer.

Now, the not so good.

Go back and watch the first and second trailers and tell me how many of those moments were in the movie. Answer: barely any.

Map claw hand? We have to get out of the city? Gay couple? Old man turning off engine? Nada.

So, was this all misdirection in the marketing, making the audience think they were coming to see a summer action movie? That's legit, trying to get butts in seats, but I have a strong feeling Michael delivered a very different movie that was hacked up in the testing process. All of those scenes probably made the movie feel 'too long', and they had to cut them back to balance the action sequences with the emotional sequences.

The helicopters overhead spelling out THEY CAN'T SWIM probably came from focus group comments where someone was like 'why didn't the aliens just cross the river and start eating people in New Jersey?' (good point). But I'll bet you they wanted to give Alex Wolff's character a more significant death in regard to Samira's emotional journey, so they reshot the scene with the old man turning off the engine and had Alex do it instead.

Also, I get the strong feeling Eric showed up in the story much earlier in the original cut of the film, and the scene with Map Claw Hand illustrates that. The big question regarding Eric is why this random sad British dude gloms on to Samira and I'm not sure they answer that question in the final cut. Joe absolutely sells it, but it doesn't make sense and I suspect it's because it wasn't written that way.

Also, and call me crazy, but I think Joe is wearing a wig in some parts of this movie and not in other parts. It would make sense if there were significant reshoots based on early testing of the film. I wonder if the Alien Lava Tiki Bar (what...was that actually) scene was added later. Like, I get why Eric went up there- actually I don't, I think Eric would have been focused on getting the medicine back to her and wouldn't have taken a detour up scaffolding to follow I cat at all, but that's just me.

Finally, let's talk about the cat. Both Schnitzel and Nico are exquisite and enjoyable to watch, though how no one got scratched or bitten by a disgruntled feline is a mystery. We had a long debate about whether The Cat Represents Samira's Life, or The Cat is An Angel, or Fate, but ultimately we just went with KITTY and that made the story more enjoyable.

Samira is on a quest, to die on her terms, and once she accepts her fate, she sheds the things that no longer matter to her, and in the process gives Eric a purpose. The scene in the jazz bar was so moving. The final shot is also incredibly moving, and I hope the city was filled with the sound of music one last time, a beautiful elegy accompanying her soul to heaven.

Bravo.

[ennn]

Initial Agatha All Along Ep 6 Meta Thoughts + Reactions

You good? I think I'm actually pretty good with what we got.

One of the struggles I've had so far with Billy is that Joe Locke always seemed more likeable than Teen but this episode convinced me that was because the boy wasn't being really himself.

Look I honestly usually don't give a shit about kid or teenager characters but this boy is winning me over. Dammit, show.

That "interrogation" scene was IN-credible and props to Joe Locke for holding it together for as long as he could. He still almost very nearly broke but who can blame him honestly.

Actually looking forward to the real Billy and Agatha bonding. Because they're both dumbass bitches. Both of them falling off things and failing at running? AMAZING.

I'm absolutely avoiding Twitter because I know some folks will be mad Billy got his boyfriend kiss but guys GUYS the odds of a kiss between Agatha and Rio happening later just got legitimately good

Will be genuinely upset if Kathryn Hahn does not get an Emmy for all of the work and talent she's showing off here, she's so full-throated in her performance and Agatha is such a captivating, complicated character

I mean, Agatha's being like a literal sad wet cat here but she's such a survivor and a performer. She will muscle her way through her trauma with the strength of her charisma and deal with it later thank you very much. She's so damn funny (and so sad if you stop and think about it)

Amazing consistent characterisation with Agatha being absolutely fascinated with powerful witchcraft and knowing her stuff. The energy she brings here is so similar to how she got studying Wanda's magic. The Detective Agnes character really isn't that far off from who she is. She's a nerd! She loves investigating. She's got big professor energy.

Crap, this show is making me want to rewatch Wandavision. Because people have told me that she always had a soft spot for Billy and Billy liked her and ugh damn this cross-marketing is working.

But like Agatha being honestly proud of him surviving, Agatha who's done terrible things to survive, knowing how witches have survived in a world that's not been kind to them. Agatha who's telling him that it's okay he did the things he did, because she's been telling those things to herself.

I was right! Rio was absolutely not physically there in person for those episode 1 house scenes given that the mirror was a painting. Among other things, it would have been weird for her to have gone into the house and then returned to blow up that door.

"You and your mother have a tell." "Which is?" "Convenient for me." -> Absolute zinger of a line. I love love love how Agatha, for all her pathetic loser energy, is being shown as smart and cunning. She always suspected! She knows things!

Also i think we've established by now that, in this show and universe at least, that witches are all some level of awful and can and will fuck up people's lives (intentionally or not).

This episode was designed to be kind of a tonal palette cleanser after all the angst and drama of Ep 5 and it worked, I think!

[ganondoodle]

more thoughts

big part of why i loathe what totk did with its story and lore is that it tremendously hurts botw in retrospect

i said that before and mentioned all of these points before as well but i just have to mention it again; how totk did away with all the little mysteries in botw, like the ancient hero looking kinda strange leading to lots of interesting theories- WHOOP its a sonau mix guy revealed through a collectable and its straight up said by purah/impa that that is the ancient hero .. like it was an always known fact ......

the sonau ruins in botw of a long gone group of people that lived in the forest of phirone - WHOOP those are just monuments built by hylians in memory of the sonau and actually their real architecure isnt rare and few but everywhere en masse and doesnt resemble the ones from botw at all, aside from some vague dragon motive; theres more stuff of the oh so sadly gone and not at all mysterious anymore sonau left than there was of the ancient shiekah in botw (and now it doesnt exist at all anymore, who cares about them, how important they were, or this worlds history, especially zelda, she never cared about shiekah or history that wasnt about sonau :)))) )

one of the biggest crimes, to me, personally, is what totk did with the dragons not actively mind you, but still changed my view of them and i hate it; i always saw them as these ethereal otherwordly spirits older than time itself (i liked the idea of them being like a final evolution of the dragons from skyward sword, tho of course i dont need that to be canon lol) and then totk comes along and .. the newly revealed -always been there super cool- race of people from the sky is heavily based on their designs ... and they have armor sets imitating the dragons ... and have ... magical never heard of before stones that turn people into .... dragons .... i get how that can be an interesting thing for people to connect but for me personally ... its a mystery that REALLY shouldnt have been solved, at all, or even touched, the fact that you knew nothing about the dragons other than they are here was what made them feel so much more divine and awe inspiring (i know you could try to think of it being the other way around, the sonau worshipping the dragons so much they dedicated all of their cultur around them ((but then again were is that anywhere, if they worshipped them so much then they sure didnt matter in any of what we say of them in memories..)) ... but the sonau designs, the armor ... the stones ... its all such an obvious connection ...) and its really hard for me to ignore it, i actively have to work now to keep seeing the dragons as these untouchable ethereal spirits instead of some sonau guy eating a fucking stone

and yet again its like .. can you really blame me for feeling weird about the sonau/dislike them when ... theres nothing that WASNT touched by the sonau, they already had tech way above the level of the shiekah, they were in the sky, the surface AND the underground all along, theirs is the actually important influence on the history of the world, they have been in every place that was once important, hell they were in every place were a settlement of people is EVEN THE FEW YEARS OLD TABURASA (tarrey town), their buildings look like they were abandoned 10 years ago, all their shit is still working, they founded (this) hyrule, they are the royals, they are the gods, they are the dragons, the ancient hero was a sonau mix clad in waht totk made out to be their signature design elements-

we had recordings from that time (tapestry) and even PEOPLE (the monks) and yet the sonau were a total mystery? even though their culture was literally still there when the shiekah built their tech?

what gets me escpeially is how .. they didnt NEED to erase anything shiekah, they didnt need to act like they never existed, they didnt need to make the sonau be the coolest guys ever and were so desperate to get that into your thinking everyone in the game is obsessed with them and tells you why you should be obsessed too

like am i just insane or is it a rather .. obvious connection to make that the shiekah found the tech of the sonau and built theirs inspired by what they could find, it was so old at that point that its non functional or even recognizable in the present, but when the shiekah found it they could still research it; given how the shiekah built multiple shrines and puzzles to them WITHTIN ruins that, in botw, were sonau ruins, i thought that was the logical line to draw and a good way to connect them while still leaving the sonau to be a mysterious ... mystery (this is what im going for in my rewrite btw)

also another thought, if the ancient shiekah could see the future to a degree they built stuff to prepare the next hero for the next calamity that would happen in thousands of years .. how did they never find out about gan? i know they were more about the future than the past but like ... were they really so stupid to see that the calamity will come back just the same from the same place and NOT investigate?? ESPECIALLY considering that the weird half sonau ancient hero was literally THERE when they saw the furture and built all of that for it???? the sonau werent gone gone in any sense and you CANNOT tell me that the shiekah jsut ignored this weird half whatever looking guy outfitted in an aesthetic and culture that wasnt obviously present anymore and clearly connected to somethign else, with probably clear scars were whatever buildings were lifted into the skies- SOMEHOW- and monoments LITERALLY STILL READABLE IN THE PRESENT that tells you about all theshit that went down?? even if you hid them with some weird mechanisms, are you realyl not gonen investigate?? also why hide it anyway?? if its supposed to be a monument to the sonau why the fuck would you built stuff to HIDE the information from it?? gan cant reach it anyway bc hes KINDA STUCK you are telling me the group of people with a vision of the future and high tech stuff that are famously obsessed with the stars and sky didnt see any of the sonau shit floating around there?? ohoho but it was hidden by magic uwu WHY bc you wanted to wait thousands of years for the "right" link to come around?? so you let thousands of people suffer and die just bc you wanted a specific guy? why not the ancient hero instead?? and solve the problem right then and there?? or would that mess too much with the history all of the sudden, you didnt care about messing anythign else up before either

its all just so messy if you start to think even a little bit about whatever the fuck happened in totk and i ahte it, it solves stuff that didnt need solving, ignores or even erases stuff that didnt need erasing and was all ready to go and be more explored, its infuriating

(also additional thought about the previous rant where i mentioned how characters, esepcially zelda, regress HARD in chaarcter development) someone mentioend this about link and ... YEAH, in botw the main thing was the connection between link and zelda, how they didnt like each other at first and at the end were THE brotp; in totk, aside from zelda mentioning how strong link is, theres nothing, the link that was revealed in botw to only be so silent and expressionless (not fully but like supressing everythign rly) bc of the immense pressure that was put on him is now just the most importanest sword guy who didnt even shed a tear when you get the memories of zelda basically killing herself; or did he know she will just be returned to normal with no harm or memory done no problemo in the end?? i dont WANT link to talk mind you, i never want to hear him talk tbh, i like him being mostly silent aside from his grunts when he climbs a cliff or soothes a horse (i go non verbal in high stress situations too) but you could have shown him be affected by it at all, or idk DO ANYTHIGN WITH THEIR RELATIONSHIP they are best friends whod die for each other but that doesnt actually matter in anything bc he just do what sword man does-

[cerastes]

As someone who hasn't touched it yet- how does IS4 stack up? How's first impressions been?

Ok, let me give my thoughts on IS4, now that it's been a week!

TL;DR -> This Rocks, I love it.

IS4 is far, far more polished than IS3. I feel a bit bad blasting and slamming IS3 so much, but the bottom line with it is that it's just very very flawed in ways that really make it hard to revisit it in the same way IS2 is always a fun romp.

If I had to point out flaws with IS4, it'd be that, on a personal level, I wish it had a few more Normal Arknights Maps. The vast majority of maps in IS4 are pranks and checks of some sort. This isn't necessarily a negative, but I do like playing some Tower Defense more frequently than what IS4 allows, since it's always got me worried about "oh god my team lacks X, Floor Y's Map Z checks X, if I get it, I'll D I E " so I try to go for my super tried and true team instead of daring to experiment all that much. This will eventually pass, but it's been a Thing for me.

Besides that, though? I just have a lot of good things to say about it. The systems feel like they were thought out this time: The Fordartals (sp?) system allows for a lot of player expression, agency, and just in general fun in a way the Light system of IS3 can simply never hope to compare to. About the only thing the Light system did right was the way it worked thematically: If you wish to confront The Corrupting Heart, you really, really gotta go in the dark, and for the best possible chance against, Izumik, Mizuki must find the Light again and be filled with hope. Yeah ok sure, thematically, these work, but the gameplay component sucks ass, because Light exists almost exclusively as a form of punishment and in basically no way as something you can use. It opens some roads, sure, but that Rogue Trader and Wish Fulfilled node are not worth having 9 out of you 11 Operators with Metastatic. Speaking of Metastatic, the single worst thing Arknights has done, even if you are maxed out on Collapse in IS4 and are packing four fully upgraded maluses, THAT STILL DOESN'T COMPARE to how bad Metastatic was. Let that sink in.

The endings are no longer RNG! Absolutely wonderful!

Eik is the first IS 2nd Boss I can say I think is good! Frozen Monstrosity was just annoying, Big Sad Lock is incredibly static, and The Last Knight, in my opinion, is the single worst and most boring boss in the entire game, not even just the game mode. Eik is like if The Last Knight didn't suck: Same principle, but done in a way that is actually not snooze-inducing. Mind you, the principle of the fight is still not something I enjoy, but unlike The Last Knight, that's wholly a me thing, as opposed to being an objectively awful and boring fight (like The Last Knight, the worst and most boring boss in Arknights).

Even though I said I'd like some more normal maps, the maps are good, to be honest! I can't think of any Fire and Water Unions or Out of Controls.

IS4 is the Smash of Arknights: (Almost) Everyone Is Here! Brush up on your gimmicks from various events, because they WILL appear.

The Midboss philosophy in IS4 is lovely, in my opinion: It's low HP bosses who can quickly fuck you up in their own way, be it stun, immense conditional damage, or simply supporting their team so well that you get overwhelmed. The Variant stages for the bosses are entire new maps, so that's also cool.

Collapsal enemies are congruent with the map design: Collapsals can be very quick, with a caveat: Normal Collapsal mobs speed up after they get hit, Casters speed up after not attacking for a bit, Aerials are fast but always have many loops and never directly go to the point until after a while. Shattered Champions are the exception, and they can either loop a while or just go straight for the jugular, making them apt Elite units for the faction.

There's much more I could say more concisely, but really, just try the game mode, get your ass kicked a bit, learn it, and then you'll see how coherent the design of IS4 is in terms of systems, maps, enemies, and features. Sorry, IS3, but you got your ass absolutely kicked like I did on my Waves 15 runs when you'd give my 2 main DPS units Metastatic on Floor 5.