#WHO IS NOVEMBER 11 THAT UGLY ASS GUY

[djinn-ale]

hei/nick truthers rise up

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The Lost Cause prologue, part 6

I'm coming to Minneapolis! Oct 15: Presenting The Internet Con at Moon Palace Books. Oct 16: Keynoting the 26th ACM Conference On Computer-Supported Cooperative Work and Social Computing.

For the past week, I've been serializing the prologue of The Lost Cause, my solarpunk novel of a post-Green New Deal backlash that comes out on November 14:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865939/the-lost-cause

The occasion is a crowdfunding campaign for the audiobook – because Amazon won't carry my audiobooks on Audible, I self-produce them and pre-sell them on Kickstarter. The campaign is going brilliantly, and there's still time to back it:

http://lost-cause.org/

Usually I hire voice actors like Wil Wheaton to read my audiobooks, but this time, at the urging of director Gabrielle de Cuir, I read it myself. It came out great:

Today is the final day of the serial. I hope you enjoyed it!

Here's part one:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/06/green-new-deal-fic/#the-first-generation-in-a-century-not-to-fear-the-future

And part two:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/07/met-cute-ugly/#part-ii

And part three:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/09/working-the-refs/#lost-cause-prologue

And part four:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/10/weaponized-interdependence/#super-soaker-full-of-hydrochloric-acid

And part five:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/11/equal-opportunity-class-war/#part-v

And now, the thrilling conclusion!

“Hey,” someone hissed from beneath the climber and I nearly jumped out of my seat.

“Jesus,” I said, and it came out as a loud bark that echoed down the empty street.

“Shhh,” the voice said. “What are you doing out there, man?”

“I’m sitting on a bench. What are you doing in there?”

“Wait, Brooks?”

“Yeah. Who’s that?”

A person climbed out of the climber, then another. As they drew closer to me, I recognized them as Dave and Armen, two goofballs I’d known since grade school, and I knew exactly what they were doing.

“Are you assholes out here in the middle of the night tripping balls?” I couldn’t help but smile, though. It was so them.

“No,” Armen said, and then Dave spoiled it by dissolving into giggles.

“Just some shrooms,” Dave said. They were everywhere, whenever the rains came, all over the hills and even on the verges between the sidewalks and the roads, popping up faster than the city could send out workers to pick them and destroy them (or, rumor had it, to dry them out and offer them for sale, if you knew the right person).

“On a school night?”

“Yeah. Only a month to graduation. What’s it matter anymore? The dire is cast.”

“The die,” I said.

“Die,” Armen said. “How morbid.” They both dissolved into more giggles. These guys. I mean, they were high af, but they had been like this since the third grade. They were silly, and not all that smart, but they were nice, never mean to anyone, never on anyone’s side in any kind of feud, even the ones where everyone took a side.

Armen and Dave were like goofball Switzerland, neutral and always in a corner making each other laugh. To be honest, they were exactly the guys I needed to see at that moment.

“Got any more shrooms?”

We stayed up all night tripping balls and eating more mushrooms whenever we started to come down. About three thirty in the morning Armen suggested we walk up to Brace Canyon, which is a long-­ass walk, but Armen insisted that the sunrises from Brace were incredible so that’s where we went.

It turned out he was wrong. It was sunsets that were great from Brace Canyon. The sun rose behind us, staining all of Burbank—­ the airport, downtown, Magnolia Park—­pink as it crested the hill behind us, and Armen was embarrassed to have gotten it backward and tried to convince us to climb farther up, try to get over the hill and see the sun rise on the other side before it was fully up, but Dave pointed out that the last time they tried that they got stuck because of the monster houses on top of the hills with high fences, and then I pointed out that he was talking about a thirty-­ minute run and the sun would be over the hill in five minutes, and then Armen pointed out that we’d been tripping and walking all night and we were all tired, so we lay in the grass and watched the city brighten by degrees.

Then it started to get hot, and we were coming down and dozed a little, but then the mosquitoes came out, and then the dog-­walkers, and so it was time to drag our asses back down out of the hills.

They walked with me down to Glenoaks, then we split up. There was no way I was going to school that day. I knew the guidance office would give me an excused absence after my traumatic events and all, so I bumbled home slowly, my legs filled with lead, my eyelids drooping. People passing by on bikes or on foot gave me a wide berth that let me know I was giving off walk-­of-­shame vibes.

I got home and paused in front of the back door. Did I dare go inside? Would Gramps still be awake and “ornery”? Would he be out with his Maga Club buddies planning Mike Kennedy’s wake? Or would they be in the living room, ready to give my ass the beatdown Gramps could no longer administer himself?

Hell with it. I was so tired I was about to fall over. If Gramps hadn’t calmed down by now, then he and I could just have another fight. I’d let him win. Why not? I was tired and graduation was weeks away.

I let myself in. The house was spooky-­quiet. What was spooky about quiet? It was always quiet when Gramps was out, or when he had his headphones on to listen to his podcasts, while he played large-­format solitaire on his huge tablet.

But it was spooky. I think I must have known. Otherwise, why wouldn’t I have just gone to bed? I mean, I was really tired. I didn’t go to bed. I called out “Gramps?” as I moved from room to room, and I saw that his keys were on the kitchen table and that his shoes were by the door, so I went to his bedroom and whispered “Gramps?” and knocked softly, as though he was asleep.

But I think I knew, even before I opened the door. Otherwise, why would I have peeled back the covers? Why would I have reached out to touch the exposed skin of his neck, felt how cold it was? Why would I have turned him over, boneless and limp, and put my ear next to his mouth, knowing there would be no breath sounds?

I called the nonemergency number and told them my grandfather was dead, that he had died in his sleep, and then I filled the biggest glass in the kitchen with cold brew. I was going to need to stay awake for a while yet.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/13/pour-encoragez-les-autres/#fin

My next novel is The Lost Cause, a hopeful novel of the climate emergency. Amazon won't sell the audiobook, so I made my own and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter!

[kivino]

LOST AND FOUND || ZOMBIE AU || PLATONIC PARENTAL FIGURE!SIMON 'GHOST' RILEY X CHILD!READER

my masterlist

ao3 link to this fic

Word Counter – ~5.6k words

Tags/Warnings – Reader is 11-13 years old, Simon is their parental figure, and their relationship is purely platonic. Mentions of family dynamics, blood, gore, guns present; gender-neutral Reader,as per usual with my works.

Summary – You both were lost in this new world, but at least you had each other to lean on.

a/n – so uh. it’s been a minute! this is a fic i’ve been trying to finish since november of 2023, so that’s nice, lmao. i hope you guys like it! please, tell me what you think about it in the comments and enjoy the reading!

“Kid. Hey. Wake up.” You ignore the quiet mumble in your ears that interrupts your precious sleep and only mutter something unintelligible, rolling over on your side, trying to get away from the voice. “Come on, rise and shine.” You hum in protest, pulling the sleeping bag over your head and basking in its leftover warmth, that slowly slipped away into the breezy morning air. If you saw Simon right now you’d witness him rolling his eyes, despite the rapidly growing smile under his mask.

The winter was coming closer and closer each day, so obviously you preferred the company of that old sleeping bag and moth-eaten blanket stuffed inside of it to whatever outdoorsy activities were waiting for you when you had to pack up and go on your way to next place Simon had in mind. He kept pestering you about having to go south. South, south and south, that was your only direction. But you suppose it wouldn’t get any warmer if you went north, so maybe he was right. You’re not going to tell him that though. He’ll be too full of himself if you do.

“Hey there, come on. We don’t have all day.” He waits a few minutes before saying that and shaking your shoulder carefully. Still, you hear some impatience in his tone. You wouldn’t have been able to tell if you didn’t know him as well as you do now. You don’t really have any control over your body, so you try to swat his hand away, the repetitive motion just annoying you further, but then you realize you’re still stuck in that sleeping bag, and that motion only yanks you over on your other side. Damn, you hated mornings.

Simon only scoffs at this unsuccessful attempt to get rid of him. Quiet and breathy, but you hear it. His laugh is always breathy.

“Get up. I won’t carry you.” Oh, you know he will if you ask him. Nicely. Several times. He pats your shoulder and you open one eye, looking up at him, all angry and annoyed. Just like you are every other morning. You like sleeping, what can you say?

You can barely see anything besides the glint of his eyes in the cold, blueish darkness, his figure towering over yours even despite him sitting down near you. You didn’t need to see him right in front of your eyes to remember each detail of his appearance etched into your mind permanently at this point. Dark brown eyes that looked similar in color to the fresh, crumbly soil in the forest, dirty blond hair that would get too long too fast, so he’d ask you to chop it off as best as you could, and if you were to get right into his face you’d notice a line of freckles right where this eyesore of a balaclava exposes his skin.

“Do we need to get up at the ass crack of dawn each time?” you grumble, wiggling your arm out of the sleeping bag and unzipping this insulated monstrosity that made you look like an overfed caterpillar, covered in some stains that came from who knows where.

“Language.” Simon reprimands (and you can already picture his gloomy frown) while packing up your and his stuff into a giant duffel bag, with his voice sounding similar to a growl of a stray, old dog. He always reminded you of those little guys for some reason. Sad that you don’t see many of those anymore. Probably because they got eaten by those ugly undead. You try to shake off the unpleasant thought.

“Ass is not a bad word.” you return, as you roll out of the sleeping bag and start putting on the heavy worn boots over two pairs of socks that felt a bit damp to the touch. “Besides, you constantly swear, why can’t I do it too?” You were genuinely curious – it felt a bit unfair after all, that he would place some responsibilities on you, but then turn around and still treat you like a kid…which, you definitely hadn’t completely felt like one in a long, long time.

“What’s the first rule?” He asks without actually turning to you, choosing instead to start shoving bottles of water into the bag. You roll your eyes at this but comply.

“Whatever you say goes.” You grumble, while tying your shoelaces, that already started fraying on the ends…you’ll need to cut them, or just use Simon’s lighter if there is any gas left in that ancient thing. You’ll totally forget to ask him, that’s for damn sure.

“Whatever I say goes, that’s right.” He repeats with you, like it would help hammer down the thought into your mind better. Honestly, you’d rather take his sledgehammer to the head rather than go on an extensive trek through misty, damp fields with air that burned your lungs from how cold it was. “Second – once you’re grown up then you’ll say those words. Now you’re just a kid, so you can act like it. I’ll take care of all the adult stuff, which includes swearing.” Simon’s voice is so parental you could almost roll your eyes again. He’s not usually as serious, opting for light-hearted teasing instead so you guess…something might be bothering him. And if it’s true, you’d have to probably torture it out of him to find out.

Because Simon was a big-big, awfully quiet liar. He never talked much about his feelings, preferring to stay silent and listen to your constant blabbering while you two were on the road. You had to pester him for hours just to find out his surname, or what he used to do before the world went downhill. Which, you were pretty sure he lied about. Do mechanics get taught how to use knives that well? You didn’t know, but you were sure that the answer would be “no”. Simon was so secretive and quiet when he found you, barely speaking, at the time his voice reminded you of the way the school bus engine roared when a gray-haired driver drove away from your house.

You missed your old life. You wanted it back.

Slowly but surely you got used to Simon, though. He wasn’t this huge shadow, that silently followed everywhere behind you and regularly gave you heebie-jeebies anymore. Now he was a reassuring huge hand on your forearm. Or a gentle pat on the head. Like a blanket that you’d wake up in after you fell asleep while rereading the same book with your flashlight on. He said that he’d look after you until you find your parents. But you weren’t dumb, you knew that most likely, you’re never meeting them. With endless amounts of those undead things you saw, chances of them surviving seemed pretty slim. You tried not to think about it too often, because tears would inevitably start prickling at your eyes, and your nose would become runny in a blink of an eye. You wanted to bawl and cry, and scream, but then you’d remember Simon’s words.

“Don’t be loud or you’ll attract more of them”

And there was nothing more stupid than dying when you just needed a good eye-burning cry. So, you bottled it up. Of course, Simon would ask you about your parents. So many times, he would try poking and prodding as delicately as he could, and you could only visualize his attempts at subtly approaching your feelings as a polar bear trying out lace-making or embroidery. You didn’t blame him though, it felt like he was coming from a good and genuine place when he asked you all of those questions. Where did you like to go on the weekends? What did your parents do for work? What did your mom usually make for dinner? What did your dad teach you?

Then his voice would become quieter and softer, as he cradled you in his arms, warm as a damn furnace, hands gently rubbing your back as you broke down into small pieces at the memory of your parents. Your heart was tearing apart, and it hurt so bad, and it just wouldn’t stop, tears flowing like a river down your face, as you tried wiping them until your cheeks were raw. Simon would apologize profusely for bringing up your parents and making you sob your eyes out, reassuring you with an easy lie.

“We’ll find them, honey. I’m sure they’re waiting for you.”

You knew you would never find them. But for some reason, it still brought you comfort. They were waiting for you somewhere out there, didn’t matter if it was on this earth, or someplace else. So, your fingers would dig into the thick leather of Simon’s jacket, clinging closer for comfort, as your tears and snot soaked his sweater. Your parents weren’t for you here right now, but Simon was. He’d wipe off the tears off your skin, a lot more gently than you could ever do it. He’d tuck you into all the blankets you two had after you managed to calm down at least a little bit, violent shaky sobs turning into soft sighs. Simon would swipe the hair away from your face, and offer you some water to rehydrate after you cried your eyes out.

“You’re alright, kid. You’re okay. I’m here.”

And things didn’t seem so bad after you heard Simon say it. You didn’t know why he just picked you up like a lost puppy when he found you. You would’ve surely been dead by now if he didn’t, and you were thankful for whatever influenced his poor decision-making. You heard the way occasional groups you came across talked to Simon about having you with him, maybe they thought that your age also made you completely deaf and utterly stupid. And the only thing you wanted those idiots who thought you couldn’t hear them to do is get fu-

“Ready to head out, kid?” Simon shakes your shoulder snapping you out of your thoughts, with your backpack lying near your feet, instead of hanging on your shoulder. “Almost” You nod, as you pick up the bag and continue shoving your sleeping bag inside. “Hurry up, or I’ll leave without you.” Simon grunts, putting on this annoyed and grumpy front. “You wouldn’t.” You chuckle in response, finally zipping up your backpack and carelessly throwing it over your shoulders. You were sure Simon would never leave you. He wasn’t like that and you knew it.

“Careful, this is a hunting rifle, so if you hold it wrong the kickback can bruise you. Not like a handgun.” Simon corrects your stance, making sure you’re doing it just the way he’s been taught. Years ago, memories so hazy, he can barely recall that world. Almost feels like a dream, with how cloudy and unreal it looks in his mind. “Good. Now, open your mouth. Like this, alright.” Riley puts a hand with a worn glove on your lower jaw, pulling it down gently, until you feel the bones click in place. “We don’t want you walking around all woozy with ringing in your ears, right?” You nod, determined and concentrated, eyes directed at the makeshift shooting range in front of you. Simon’s palms cup your ears for added protection.

The sleepy glow of the sun played in the bottles put around the ruins of a burnt-down cabin, which stuck out of the ground like sharp scorched bones. There were also planks, big branches and other trash Simon carefully set to imitate the training ground for you. A kid’s gotta learn how to hold their own, so he put as much creativity as he could to make this hellscape into something decent. Breaking down some of the crumbling walls that turned into straight charcoal with his trusted sledgehammer, which rang like church bells each time he put it to use, covering “the shadows” burned into the floor before you spot them with your sharp eyes, and digging around for anything that can be the target for you. Anything so you can at least defend yourself when he’s…not around. For whatever reasons, that were most likely connected to getting mauled by a crowd of undead.

He keeps thinking about it. Simon can’t escape these thoughts.

That sooner or later he won’t be there to protect you. To laugh with you. To heat up your food and flick your nose for your dumb jokes, wrap you up in a blanket and give you a boost so you could climb the fence with ease. The more death and ruin brought by endless waves of undead you both see, the more it haunts him, like bloodhounds following his trail all over the country, sniffing out every single footstep and campground. And he’s sure it’s dragging behind your thoughts too, affecting the way you see world.

Simon won’t be there to see how you turn out. He knew it, felt it in his bones even. But that was the price he’d pay for deciding to raise you. Like a contract Riley signed with his own hand the day he saw you with your eyes swollen from crying. Simon won’t be there to see how all this bloodshed influences you, if it’ll break you like a fragile, ceramic vase, or temper, like good, reliable steel. He had hoped that this harsh world would make the latter out of you, but he wouldn’t blame you if you were to just…give up. It wasn’t easy out there. Especially if you’d end up alone.

Simon kept thinking about all of those endless groups that you two have been through on your way south. How inevitably, when you two would settle in a for a little while he’d have folk coming up to him for a talk. How he’d see those pitiful, sad looks in their eyes for him - a single father raising a kid in a world that has gone to shit eons ago. How someone’s hand would rest on his shoulder, fruitlessly trying to reassure him, meanwhile hiding even more heart-crushing sadness in the pair of dull, lifeless eyes.

And what he hears is a variety of voices, along with an array of faces that didn’t match any names he could recall. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to make them follow you?” whispers a woman with tight curls and a scar across her cheek.  “They’re just a kid, and you drag them around with you?” accuses an older missus with a knitted scarf. “It must be rough out there” mumbles an older gentleman with a rasp that suggested he enjoyed the company of tobacco more than the company of people back in the day. “You won’t be able to defend them if you continue on like this” sighs a man with deep canyons of wrinkles racking through his greyish skin. Quiet and heartbroken. Speaking from his own experience. A father. And Simon believed that voice.

And that trust is what caused him so much doubt now, when there was no turning back on caring for you. He knew it will end badly. For either or both of you. But Simon would never hand you over to anyone, unless it was your wish to leave him. You were his blood now. His kid. That would never change, in a thousand of years.

BANG. Simon’s ears start ringing, one of his palms now rests on your shoulder as he points towards one of the bottles and squints his eyes to see better in the distance.

“Good job. See? You shot the neck off.” His gloved finger points at the accurately shot bottle and pride swells in his chest. Simon hopes you turn out to be a good shot. You’ll need that.

Almost the whole day passed with the two of you on the road, shuffling through the dead leaves, varying in the hues of brown and grey, yet it still felt like Simon was drowning in his own thoughts like some damn quicksand. And the more he tried to distract himself with some mundane, routine questions of where to find food, shelter, and water he just kept circling back to those doubts, sinking down, deeper into the unwelcoming depth and the unknown.

Even now, when you two finally stopped for the night, tent already set up near the neat, small fire that you managed to make thanks to instructions Simon gave you ages ago, he just sat there, silent. Head heavy with worry, eyelids burning from observing the fire too close, it didn’t matter anymore. Simon was sure his figure was that of an undead right now – round-shouldered and tired. One more similarity between him and those…creatures. Simon was sure that if he wasn’t on leave when all of this shit went down, he would’ve been one of the first people to go. And he didn’t like the quiet, nagging thought that he would’ve preferred that.

That thought dissipates into the thin air the moment he slightly turns his head and sees you in your blanket pulled up to your ears, eyes owlishly staring into the darkness, where you could hear cricket’s song and shuffles of small rodents in the short, dry grass and layers of leaves. If he wasn’t alive you probably wouldn’t have been either. Weird stinging in his chest became even more intense when he looked at you. Life has a weird sense of humor.

Simon wanted to avoid being a father or a parental figure for as long as he could, preferably for his whole life. Being made into a killing machine, a mindless weapon to get rid of the enemy by any means wouldn’t make for a great father material, he figured. He also lacked the necessary emotional vulnerability to meet anyone who’d want to bear his child and stay with him. So, he never tried. Not that he thought he was missing out on something – he felt alright as he was, plus who wanted the responsibility that came with raising another human being? It was never as easy as just keeping a pet or a potted plant, if you fuck up it would take you years to find that out. Possibly through your own blood and flesh going no contact on you and deciding not to reconcile ever.

And despite how much Simon hated the thought, he was his father’s son. It would be too arrogant to assume he’ll be a good parent, if his own fucked him up so much. Simon heard all of these things about “ending the circle of abuse” but he would rather end himself if he ever remotely resembled the monster that was responsible for bringing him into this world.

But for that poor kid, eyes wide from terror, hands hugging their own body, trembling and terrified when he had found them a little less than a year ago, he was willing to try, even if it cost him his life.

“Something’s wrong with you.” He hears your quiet, but confident remark. Your eyes glimmer in the light of the fire, focused and attentive. For a moment it felt like there was no escape from your gaze and many questions hiding behind it.

“You don’t have to worry about me, kid.” Simon waves his palm, almost dismissively, but he doesn’t mean any harm. You have enough on your plate already, being a kid during the end of the world. There is no point for you to trouble yourself with his fears and doubts.

“That’s what you always say. Yet you keep making that face when you think I can’t see you” Instinctively, man’s hand reached out to touch his jaw, and when his fingers could only feel the rough, dirty fabric, a slight sigh of relief was torn out of his lips. Though right now, one would think it was his way to express annoyance. It wasn’t quite the case though.

“But you can’t see it.” Simon says with a lighthearted rise in his voice.

“Well, I see the eyes. What are you thinking about?” Stubborn as always. Well, if you were so curious then he has to tell you at least something, right? Been a long time since the two of you had a heart to heart talk with each other. Still, there was a reluctance deep in Simon’s heart. It was unfair that you had to grow up like this. Among walking corpses and ravaging beasts instead of people surrounding you around every corner.

“About how I want you to be able to protect yourself. That good enough answer?” Simon quietly barks, not intending to sound strict, but failing at it miserably. “Now go to sleep. We’re rising early tomorrow” Simon cuts the conversation short rather bluntly, not fond of the idea of sharing more than necessary.

He doesn’t want to tell you about all those nightmares where you scream in agony, torn apart by the undead, innards spilling onto the cold floor, teary eyes looking at him and begging for help, reaching for him, dirty fingers with blood under your nails looking to claw at something to relieve you of at least a sliver of the immense pain shooting through you.

“You’re an ass” You give a firm verdict, turning around and crawling towards the tent, seemingly ready to finally reunite with your sleeping bag and doze off. Your blanket drags behind you over the ground, until Simon quickly reaches out and carefully drapes it over your shoulders again.

“Well, the company you keep.” The man barely contains the laughter at the offended expression you give him after turning your neck so fast that Simon can almost hear your vertebrae cracking from such sudden movement.

“Hey!”

“And what did I tell you about swearing?” Riley immediately reminds you, raising his eyebrow, and you could swear that if you gave him a moment, he’d cross his arms over his chest like suburban soccer mom with a bad bob. Maybe he’ll call a manager after that…

“Sorry.” You mumble to the side, before disappearing in the tent and only hearing a low gruff in response:

“Much better.”

“Now, remember what I told you? In and out, quick and quiet. Whatever there is, don’t pick a fight.” He told you before going in to look for supplies in that hospital. Before the two of you climbed the fence (somehow still mostly intact after almost a year of it not being used and upkept like you would a normal hospital), then crawling up the rusty and unsteady fire escape, which Riley helped you climb, naturally.

Simon wasn’t a fool, not by any extension of the word. He also did not consider himself reckless, at least not to the point of endangering others with his recklessness. He knew that the hospital would be the prime place for a horde of walkers, but the rapidly dwindling supplies (along with your cough and stuffy nose that were getting worse by the day; it was a mystery to him, how you were not yet feverish) and the dangers the not well-scouted area for you were too much. So, he decided it’s better if you keep close to him.

He should’ve taken more time, should’ve been more careful, should’ve investigated the building beforehand, like he always does. Simon thought it would be okay. He knew the kid could handle dozens upon dozens of corpses littering the floor, turning to dust in patient rooms and locked up in medical staff rooms; for so many months they’ve seen only death and decay around. Riley knew that the (most likely) overflowing morgue would be off-limits, not only because of undead activity, but also because of the toxic (once again, most likely) expired chemicals there.

Simon could’ve made it another teaching moment for you, sharing telltale signs of undead presence, besides the smells and the sounds that can be concealed by weather. The undead always leave traces, whether their dulled (or absent) conscience is aware of it or not.

Simon could’ve done so much to prevent this. But he just didn’t. His worst fucking nightmare turned reality in a matter of seconds and he could not do shit about it.

He barely heard anything while rummaging through the supply cabinets in the room right behind what probably once was a nurse station. Which was weird. He always heard everything. He had left you to keep guard near the entrance to the room, because as much as Riley trusted you, it was probably safe to assume that he knew what kind of drugs to take better than a prepubescent teen. Next thing he knew when he looked outside of the door – the undead flooded the corridor and you were nowhere to be seen. His heart dropped, nothing but concern and pure terror in his mind.  A sudden ringing in his ears deafened him for a moment.

You could be dead for all he knew. Torn apart by the undead, begging for your life, bloody and crying, or with your neck broken, from the attempt to escape from one of the windows that was not boarded up, or bitten and left to the terrors of this sickness that will eat you alive in no time. Replacing his poor kid you with a decaying husk, bearing your eyes and your face. It would be extremely dangerous and foolish to attempt looking for you. Downright idiotic.

Good thing his father always called him an idiot, because he won’t leave without finding you. Alive or…otherwise.

Simon had no time to plan everything out, every second contributed to whether you’re walking out of here, or being carried out the building by him. He swung the door open, ready to take the fight head-on.

The smell of the hospital alone was enough to make his eyes tear up. You nor him could ever get used to it, no matter how often you stumbled upon that smell – rotting, nauseatingly sweet, fleshy and suffocating. It was even worse when the undead who emanated this stench stumbled through the corridor towards him. The mask was not helping much.

Riley could not help that primal irrational part of his mind from taking over, it was hard not to, when someone you cherish so deeply is possibly in grave danger. Almost every movement was precise and short, nothing but pure instincts, reflexes and muscle memory taking the ownership of his mind.

He was on the battlefield once again.

Fast jab, swing, push, step, crush, dash, push, swing, crush, jab, shove, swing, crush; it all flowed into one monotonous dance macabre, low hum of something dark puppeteering Simon’s limbs. He could feel that familiar buzz of satisfaction in his head with every skull shattered either by his heavy boots or with the pleasantly heavy sledgehammer. Each kill bringing Simon closer to you, and you – closer to complete safety within these walls. He promised himself that he won’t have to do…all this anymore. But if it meant unceremoniously grabbing you from the embrace of death, he was willing to let himself loose a million times more, until his hands are stained by blood forevermore.

The worry and pure terror for you took over him completely, his heavy blows kept landing wherever there was even the slightest movements and he did not stop. Simon’s hands did not tremble even for a single second. Covered head to toe in guts and rotted, sticky blood, he was more beast than man, shoulders rising and falling, heavy breaths drawn through the several dirty layers of cloth on his face filling him even further with the urgency, with hurry and the continuous urge to maim and kill anything that threatened your and his possible survival.

Because what was Simon, if you, the only thing he carefully and lovingly put all his remaining humanity into, were not here anymore? It was all that would be left of him, if you…

Nevermind. Simon shouldn’t be thinking like that. But how can he not, when he’s been warned all these times that, given some time, one of you will die, protecting another? What else was he supposed to think when day and night the only thing he was worried about was if he was a good enough father to you, or if you would be better off under the care of anybody else, who’s just…not him?

The metal of Riley’s sledgehammer was filthy with brain matter, skin and hair, and his clothes heavy with blood soaking them through and through. He could not comprehend how he was not bitten yet. Line of decaying corpses kept trailing him like a wicked serpent through the stuffy corridors of the hospital.

Until finally Simon saw a familiar pair of eyes looking right at him through the filthy glass of a storage room.

You were terrified out of your mind, shaking and crying, not only because you thought you were going to be torn apart just mere moments ago. There were more possibilities – if it were not for the rotten, jagged teeth finding you, Simon would’ve found you and be furious at you for being a reckless idiot and almost getting yourself killed, running away like that in an unexplored area (even though he never screamed at you in all this time you spent together, and even if he did, that would only attract more undead). Or, worst case scenario, you’d just find Simon’s body somewhere in the hospital, being gnawed on by several undead, coppery, vile smell in the air. You knew that chances of you walking away without losing something were razor-thin.

Yet here he was. Some irrational part of you was convinced he’d yell at you, hit you, throw something at you putting the safety in no regard. You flinched, feeling you body shake against the cold floor. A second passed and the giant of a man swooped you into a bone-crushing embrace, shushing you and slowly rocking you in his arms. You felt more sobs bubble inside of your throat, when you hear him murmur reassurances into your ear.

“It’s alright, kid, I’m here. I’m right here.” His voice is coarse and rough, but so utterly familiar, you feel like you’re being wrapped in a warm blanket when dad Simon talks. To hell with being stubborn and independent. You don’t to leave him ever again.

“I’m so…so sorry, Simon” you managed to get out, violent sobs interrupting your words. “I didn’t, didn’t want to lead them to you…” Because that would entrap both of you with the undead that flooded the hallway much too quickly, his mind finished the thought that you were not able to articulate in your deep emotional distress. “I tried, I tried…”

Simon’s heart shattered.

He was silent for seconds that stretched akin to hours. Pressing your face into the soaked shoulder of his rough jacket that smelled like smoke and the undead, you had no idea that Simon’s eyes were glistening with tears as well. You felt his hand gently stroking your head, attempting to soothe you to the best of his abilities.

“Shhh, I know, I know. You did you best. You did good, kid. You did good.” The way dad Simon said it made the hot tears pour down from your eyes even stronger, like a sudden storm in the middle of a summer day.

 “I was so-, so- scared, I-I thought you were going to be so mad at me.” You whole body trembled with every shaky breath that you took and Simon did not fail to notice that, his arms closing around you even tighter, which you only welcomed, clinging onto him like he was your lifeline.

“Please, don’t be scared. Why would I be mad at you?” Riley’s voice is so painfully soft and quiet. He came for you. He could’ve left, but he came for you. It dawned on you, how easily you could’ve lost each other in these minutes spent apart, and your fingers clawed into the bloodied fabric even harder.

“I-I don’t know…”

For a split second, you thought you felt Simon’s giant stature shake around you with a barely audible noise that reminded you of a sob. Simon pulled away, his big palms still resting on your shoulders, grounding you, reminding that everything is alright and the both of you are alive.

“Dry your tears, kid. It’s going to be alright.” You could see the corners of his eyes crease in a smile, moisture still shining in them, and you could feel the tears burn your own eyes once again. You, however, tried your best to put on a brave face, not wanting him to see you cry even more than you already did. You reached with your hands to rub your eyes in exasperation. The man, instead, delicately started wiping off your tears with his blood-stained fingers, not even realizing that he was making things worse. But you didn’t care. Simon was here for you. That’s all that mattered in this moment.

Silence felt like it lasted forever until you opened your mouth and quietly asked for only one thing:

“Promise you won’t leave me. Ever.”

Good God, your voice sounded sad. Simon did not respond at first. He knew he couldn’t make promises like that, but the guilt and all these unbearable thoughts of losing you just moments ago got to his rationality, making it absolutely useless. If it meant you’d be willing to stay a kid a little while longer, he was ready to make a false promise he would never be able to fulfill.

“I promise, kid.”

Maybe someday you’ll lose each other to the horrors of this world, lurking beyond what any living soul can perceive. But it won’t be today.

check out my masterlist for more fics or send me a request/comment!

[kagejima]

congrats on your partner, he sounds like a dream 😭😭😭

BRO HE IS THOUGH 🥺

everybody is like "your partner looks like jason momoa" and im like IF ONLY YOU KNEW THATS HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP STARTED

bc when we became online friends, JUST friends, game of thrones was just getting started at the time, but i told him he looked like Jason Momoa because he DOES and he's big and strong too and then we kept calling each other "My Sun and Stars" and "Moon of my life" just as a joke..... and I was NOT the type of girls he talked to on the regular, i was not a cool punk girl who didn't give a shit and was rad as hell,,,, i was incredibly shy and reserved and A Good Girl who NEVER said ANY swear words, and went to bed at 9 pm, the whole nine yards...... (still to this day, im pretty sure my parents think he looked at me and said "i can make her worse" DNAKCNEKKDKW)

but he's been SOOOOOOO important in my huge life change of finally doing whatever the fuck I want to do with my life and not what others told me to do like I had been before we met. It reminds me of a scene in Ugly Betty where the guy she's dating in that story arc said, "Maybe you should stop worrying about how you're supposed to be all the time and just... be."

anyways, he's the Calm and Relaxed one and im the "habahhaah this minor inconvenience happened and now my life is over" one so he helps me a lot when it comes to that. and he looks like he's mean but he's really not, he's only mean to you if you're the asshole first. like he's very sweet and loving and i love him a lot

BFJANFKWKZ funny side story: when we finally met in person, like two days later he asked if i wanted to be his girlfriend and i LAUGHED bc i got so NERVOUS bc i was like "hahahahha there's no way this Perfect Man is in to ME, there's no way, is he joking" because, again,like i said, he was Cool Bad Boy with Heart of Gold and I was Good Girl Who Did What She Was Told

and HE LOOKED AT ME AND WENT 🥺 AND MY DUMB ASS WENT "OH, YOU'RE SERIOUS?" 💀💀💀💀💀

anyways we'll have been together for 11 years in november and its been the best 11 years of my life so far hehehdhwjnfjsjfje

[randomlerson75]

Stuff people at my high school have said or done

• “I’ll just pretend I broke my ankle. I’ll limp a little”

• “You’re face doesn’t even have many bones”

• “Do you wipe your ass with your fingers”

• “I look cute though so I’m saving it”

• “They’re not dirty minded they just have a sexy brain”

• “This is not a good situation now. I’m not happy”

• *sleeping in class and randomly screams* “STOP!!!”

• “I’m coloring my weed symbol”

• “I stretch pretty violently I’m sorry”

• “I look like I’m more full of life than you”

•”I’m a good person” “haha ok”

• “I’m gonna round it to the nearest 11”

• “You don’t always have to swallow”

• “What a fucking time to be alive”

• “why are you harissing me”

• “That’s why you turn around and punch him in the face”. “I don’t have time”

• “You are the highest grade”

• “Does it taste normal”. “No it tastes good”

• “Why are we all up in this cold ass blueberry”

• “The sun can’t be that hot”

• “I could have overreached but that would make me stupid”

• “I’m all muscle bro, it’s tight on me”

• ”I’m a stripper that’s how I make my money”

• “You’re my mom” *talking to the teacher*

• “Are you high” “just get it off”

• *laughs normally* “you sound like a pedophile”

• “Pinkie ring until I roll”

• *about to jump off a cliff in a video for free diving* “push her”

• “Capitalism is ok”

• “It’s so funny how you can be alive one second and dead the next”

• “Change the m in marijuana to a j. Jarijuana”

• *teacher puts desk in the hallway*

• “He smoked water”

• “You can’t speak Latin” “Can you?”

• “May I acquire a pencil” “yes you may” “have a blessed day”

• “I’m going to write a book about how depressed I am”

• “God has forsaken me”

• *girls trying to stab each other with scissors*

• “I got a pretty long weenus. It looks like a penis”

• “My skeleton is twerking”

• *draws a skeleton twerking* “this is why it’s fun to learn art”

• “Why does he have eye holes?” “He’s a skeleton”

• “Don’t get my businesses ”

• “YOU ARE A WHORE”

• “love is so good”

• “Happy 17th day of birth”

• “You know it’s cold when you walk outside and it’s cold

• “why are you smiling like a creep Jess?” “That’s my normal face”

• “I’m living my best life, right here right now”

• *About thirty kids doing nothing but snapping*

• “Yes, I am very racist about smart boards”

• “I used to be like ;) but now I’m like :|”

• “Physically I’m here but mentally I’m still at home”

• “Emotions are like hurricanes. They never go where they are suppose too”

• “it took me a whole 27 minutes”

• “I would pay for the fire alarm to go off again”

• “Why did we get such a gay name like Florence”

• “this is my dad” *points to Albert Einstein

• *A REAL debate on wether to rip the clippy part off of mechanical pencils*

• “Not gonna lie. I grinded a friends marathon this weekend”

• “FINISH THE TEA”

• “You should know to never mess with another persons tech deck”

• “She has a thing against white people even though she’s white”

• “Speak of the devil. All white, what a fright”

• “You are a children”

• “You think a bull in a china shop? How about a bomb in a restaurant”

• “Me do”

• “I cheesed myself”

• “I never said I was going to jump you at Bojangles”

• “Knitting is VERY fun”

• “I’m not good enough, I’m great enough”

• “North Korea, South Korea, Same thing”

• *drops pencil* “NOOOOOOOOO”

• *light flickers* “excuse you”

• “You can make Australia bigger?”

• “Why don’t we burn people at the stake anymore for doing crimes. It was proven very effective”

• “It’s like I went into the pits of hell”

• “Can I borrow her crutches” “She has a lot”

• “You have arms?”

• “I was born thick”

• “I wasn’t sick I was drunk”

• “be a good person. Go go go”

• “Lotion and ravioli”

• “It smells like weed in here”

• “F*ck oxygen”

• “bring it back tomorrow or you die”

• “Tables are for glasses, not asses”

• “Stick it in between her boobs”

• “A lot of religions end in ism” “Christianiaism”

• “I just want someone to snort my ashes. That would be cool. Mix it with a little cocaine”

• “The United States of Australia”

• “Clark Kent who. I’m kidding, that’s not even Spider-Man”

• “Mental cheese”

• “Your blood is not supposed to make whistling noises”

• “Who sleeps on a Friday night”

• “A whole ass race”

• “that’s a sexy button” “I know right”

• *Screams* “and....”

• “Judaism is neither a religion or race”

• “Have you ever met someone and thought ‘wow. I would feel no remorse killing you’”

•“I hate this school with a burning passion”

•“Beep beep in your seats”

•“What is wrong with the world? The simulation is breaking”

•“What if we’re each other’s dad”

•“You use mental gymnastics to get around your head and get what you want”

•”You can’t just roll up to North Korea. You have to beat me in bingo”

•*teachers wear a dress and played despacito on the trumpet*

• “He’s a stingy boi”

• “A for anarchy? Dude i wish”

• “shut up I’m choking”

• “The snack the smiles back” “GOLDFISH!!!”

• “Where’s the pointy boi?” “I don’t know. I have the thick boi”

• “Dude. Fish can’t talk”

• “Stop taking my eraser” “it’s a ruler” “it can be whatever it wants to be”

• “A female vacuum is attractive”

• “I can love you but not like you”

• “I am mother gothel mentally, physically and spiritually

• “Mother gothel is my religion”

• “IM GETTING A COW!!!!”

• “It’s like Leonardo Da’Vinchi but instead it’s Leonardo Decaprio”

• “I wish I had some crippling disease. Schizophrenia would be nice”

• “I’m gonna kill someone for the rush of adrenaline I’ll get. I’ll get pumped, then I’ll work out”

• “Should I become an important political figure”

• “My cats might have eaten him”

• “Who else is trying to overthrow the government”

• “Where’s our kid?” “He looked at me funny and I had to teach him a lesson. I flushed him down the toilet”

• “I text Jesus all the time”

• “You are a saucy boi”

• “Your neck is really soft. Do you know that?”

• “Um. No professor. I don’t give a fuck”

• “Bro I look like a whole ass beetle”

• “You know? I’m definitely going to hell. But I’ve accepted that”

• “We need to go to the woods and have a collective cry”

• “Moths = whore”

• “Can we watch more food videos”

• “Just outlive the old people and health care prices can go back to normal”

• “Let’s just start the gladiator games again to handle population”

• “I’ll be Michael Phelps”

• “Don’t you just hate it when Nolan steps on your 69 Barbie head”

• “He’s so 20”

• “LITTLE BOY! WHERE ARE YOUR NIPPLES”

• “You guys disgust me”

• “I thought I had a good nights sleep but then I stood up and was like ‘oh no’”

• “you look better as an apple”

• “Why the fuck does it smell like weed in here. Mrs. Burch be blazing it up”

• “What is the coast of South Carolina growing” “Fish”

• “Why are we here on Halloween but not on Thanksgiving”

• “Even though I’m 18 I still might go trick or treating”

• “All minors should be allowed to trick or treat”

• “Tomorrow is not today, is it?”

• “ah yes, the glorious uno and dos”

• “I think Kanye is a crackhead”

• “Like. She’s not hideous”

• “Casserole and Gatorade?”

• “That’s what Google’s for girly”

• “this class has corrupted me”

• “You stepped on my fat”

• “What would Jesus do?”

• *Squeaks kazoo in anguish*

• “We’re going to watch a video about the depression” “weird, nobody has been following me around with cameras”

• “Approximately 50 minutes till ice cream”

• “Did you know heroin is not good for you?”

• “I have the constant need to fight myself and my demons”

• “what the hell?” “I know”

• “you are crack-a-lakin me up”

• “I have no muscles so what’s the point”

• “Flex on the legless”

• “didn’t that movie come out in November? Fifty shades of green?”

• *County music blares from another class down the hall*

• “I got a twin brother” “What’s his name” “Pj”

• “Keep the iPhone in your ear”

• “Super white red lipstick”

• “They just need a lot more dollars”

• “Don’t be like Anthony” “Isn’t he your son”

• “There’s a lot that needs to happen in the next.... today”

• *Plays bagpipe music walking down the hallway*

• “Say sorry to Billie Eilish”

• “We should make army merch”

• “Some of us have bitch lips”

• “Time is moco loco”

• “Alfred Adler sounds like Adolf Hitler”

• “Albert Einstein is my favorite president” “YES”

• “It’s winter berries”

• “She just unfollowed your ass”

• “Do you ever get so mad you’re like rrrrr”

• “Bear Grills filtered that shit”

• “The US army is trying to recruit us with socks and bandannas”

• “This dude tastes bad”

• “I’m a sophisticated retard”

• “It’ll get your heart rate up” “I think asthma will make my heart rate go down”

• “She was like egh and the he was like EGH”

• *Door won’t open* “DISRESPECTFUL”

• “if she wasn’t my sister she would be my baby”

• “Will you let me make love to an Oreo”

• “Directions turn me on”

• “I’ll eat you” “Dude that’s gay”

• “you’ve been had a 69 in here”

• “I’m gonna be real with you. Hayden is a whole ass lesbian”

• “I’m sorry that picture is ugly. Sorry sis”

• “A whole jump suit with pikachu on it”

• “He’s been birthed”

• “Ru Paul’s drag race has been dragged”

• “Imma sip some chlorine”

• “why do you gotta throw up”

• “suicidal dog collar”

• “I’m pulling out Murphy’s head ass”

• “you’re gonna be single forever”

• “Do you trust me?” “No” “why” “you know why” “I told the truth after”

• “I didn’t mean to make her suicidal”

• “I did it in the most respectful way I possible could” “oh Jesus”

• “it’s not my fault she had that much of a connection”

• “she’s a sly bitch”

• *dresses in a Thomas the train hat and plays Thomas the train theme song on a piano*

• “I’m getting better at this” “what” “this”

• “It’s just my master plan to manipulate people’s emotions and have many successes in my future”

• “How do you do that” “I just empty my eyes”

• “You know what. Give me my birthday back”

• “Bitch bye. Not even cousins”

• “they go away. They don’t putt putt”

• “why” “so you don’t die in a police chase”

• “are you a virgin” “yes” *throws paper* “there’s my virginity for you”

• “I’m not stupid. I’m just not smart”

• *tries to hit someone with a decapitated mannequin head that has swim goggles on and fake blood coming out of its eyes*

• “you ignant”

• “I hope she chokes”

• “I had to sit at the edge of my chair, feet flat on the floor and hold my horn”

• “I don’t want to get my freaking hair done”

• “he hates my moms guts” “yeah no shit”

• “ok. Can you go cry over there”

• “Fuckin Jurassic world”

• “will you please beat up my mom”

• *drops phone purposefully* *immediately gets scared*

• “I want a new mom” “then break her”

• “did you just say what’s frog juice”

• *freshman walk by* “oh shit there’s a parade of them”

• “that five year old king is a queen”

• “Join the ranks”

• “Garrett’s carressing the computer” “cool”

• “You’re going into my dragons mouth”

• “Don’t snap my crab”

• “Crab breaking black belt”

• “are you milking the crab”

• “Cameron buttered my lemons”

• “Mixed with god”

• “What’s the juice”

• “I’m your bestie and you won’t even tell me the juice”

• “Let’s amazon.com this”

[kurly-quill]

Robin’s Nest Cafe (part 1)

So, here goes nothing! This will probably have more than one part, but will likely be non-chronological. 

Pairings: JayTim, maybe future JayDickTim 

Rating: Mature for Language [for now] 

Coffee Shop AU (sort of), Civilian!Tim (mostly?)

         Part 1 - Part 2

(1) Hot Chocolate

The first thing to know about Gothamites, is that they are objectively, irrevocably rude as fuck.

It’s not like New York City, where people bustle past without so much as a nod of acknowledgement because they have somewhere to be and don’t have time for pleasantries, or the aggressive shoving on the metro in Tokyo, or God forbid, like Metropolis, where people born past 1930 still tip their hats at passerby.

No, the average Gothamite would see you, without an umbrella, soaking wet, and shake their umbrella off on you on the way inside. If you gave up your seat to an elderly Gothamite on the train, they would sooner say fuck you than thank you. If you tried to mug a Gothamite, they would probably punch you in the face and steal your wallet, because, hell, you’d be the fifth person to try it this week.

And Tim, for all of his “good breeding” and “respectable upbringing” is, at his very core, a Gothamite.

His smile is so wide that he’s baring teeth, and while it doesn’t match the snarl on the face across from him, it’s no less able to convey the sheer amounts of fuck you very much, have a fucktastic day!!

“I ain’t sayin’ it again -” the man bellows, spit hitting Tim’s face and, ew, probably his lips too, “- give me the money inna register ‘afore things get ugly!”

His eyes glimmer with the sharpness of the icicles hanging outside along the shop window, barely sparing the knife shaking under his chin a second glance.

It’s 11 pm on Friday night, and the cafe is still open because Gotham never really sleeps and Tim lives above the shop, anyway. Behind Knife Guy, there’s a few people in line, displaying varying degrees of concern.

(1- was born in a Gotham alleyway, please if you’re going to stab the cashier just do it I’ll pour the coffee myself, 5 - been in Gotham for awhile, kinda worried but Killer Croc smashed my car last week and I just really need a coffee, 10 - visiting Gotham for the first time this weekend-- and the last time.)

Tim looks skyward, praying for strength. There are cobwebs up there he’s never noticed.

“Sorry, the money in the register is a seasonal flavor. But hey, bright side, we’ve just got peppermint mocha back in, so I can ring you up for that instead?”

Knife Guy gapes for a second, squinting at Tim like he expects him to start tap dancing any second now. Tim raises a brow, patient. With a frustrated snarl, the knife jolts forward enough that it clicks against Tim’s nametag, chipping at the edge of the black and yellow batman sticker beside his name, which is his favorite sticker so excuse you.

“Look, I’ll make you a deal. Either you put away the knife and order a peppermint mocha with christmas tree sprinkles, and we pretend this never happened, or we do it the less fun way, with the GCPD. Who are a total buzzkill, by the way, believe me. Your choice.”

There’s an eye-twitch, and a change in the man’s expression that makes Tim’s finely-honed Gotham instincts go “oh damn, here we go”, when someone opens up the front door with far too much strength, the glass rattling with the force of its inward swing. The freezing night wind billows in, the scent of oil and snow filtering through the warmer scents of the cafe. There’s an unceremonious tinkle of the bell dangling on the doorframe, and beneath it stands another man.

Tim stares. Knife Guy stares. One of the customers looks up from her phone, groans long and loud, grabs her triple-espresso hazelnut latte with caramel drizzle, and walks out into the late-November chill.

The Red Hood holds the door open for her, because he’s a fucking gentleman.

The door swinging shut with another tinkle, and there’s a pause filled only with catchy holiday jingles that have been playing over the radio since September. Hood surveys the scene before strolling toward the counter.

“Damn, lemme tell ya, it’s cold as fuckin’ balls out there,” Hood laments, with absolutely zero prompting, rubbing his hands together as though he’d gain any friction through the gauntlets. He stops just short of where Tim and Knife Guy are facing off, the blade hovering threateningly in the air just under Tim’s chin. Hood cocks his head.

“Am I interrupting somethin’?”

Tim takes a quick second to make sure that, if he opens his mouth, his jaw won’t hit the floor, before he replies, “Just regular customer service in Gotham. Hope you’re not here for the money in the register too - We’re fresh out of stock. Moving onto the Winter Menu, you know?”

Hood nods, making what sounds like an understanding hum through the voice synthesizers, “Some people just never check the website. Read you’ve got a mean gingerbread latte on special.”

Tim would respond, except now the knife is shaking to a worrying degree– Knife Guy is scared shitless, because the Red Hood is nearly shoulder-to-shoulder– or, well, shoulder-to-bicep with him, because the man is huge and smells very distinctly of cigarette smoke and blood. Tim would sympathize if he wasn’t having an internal fangasm to end all fangasms at this moment.

In a display of panic-borne, truly ballsy stupidity (unfortunately, also a common trait amongst Gothamites, particularly the ones that rob cafes at knife-point at just the hour the Bats tend to come out), Knife Guy whips the knife to the side to turn on the vigilante.

Hood’s got the knife out of the guy’s hand in an instant– Tim has just enough reflexes to grab the steaming cup of caffeine goodness that’s sitting innocently in harm’s way– and in the next second he’s grabbing the guy by the hair and slamming his head backwards onto the counter, spine bent at an angle that makes the onlookers flinch. A few more scurry out the door. There are other places to get a caffeine fix.

“Look here,” Hood growls, No-Knife Guy going cross-eyed as the knife points straight at his nose, “I ain’t lookin for a side of stitches with my candy cane hot chocolate with heavy cream, ya feel me?”

Mr. No Knife squeals.

“P-Please– I’m sorry, I’ll go! Promise! Just– fuck, l-lemme go!”

Hood’s head makes a minute motion, somehow conveying sheer exasperation despite the helmet (Though Tim can just feel the eye-roll going on). He drags the wannabe-robber up to his feet, though it’s pretty useless seeing as the guy’s knees give out they’re shaking so hard– and, oh dude, gross, that’s definitely a wet spot in the front of his jeans there. Tim’s nose wrinkles. He better not have to mop that up.

Hood pays the fact that he’s basically holding up all the man’s weight one-armed no mind, dragging him to the front of the shop. The bell chimes merrily as he gives the guy a literal kick in the ass out the door. The guy lands face-first in dirty, oily, Gothamy snow. An eight year old kicks him as she walks past, hand-in-hand with her father to the nearest bus stop. That Uptown Gotham charm, amiright?

“You’re just lucky I’m feeling the holiday fucking spirit right now– Plus, no offense,” a quick appraisal, “you’re kinda pathetic.”

And then Hood closes the door.

But he’s still here.

Tim looks around the shop. Apparently, at some point in the last 2 minutes, the rest of the customers have decided that they really don’t have time for the typical Bat-dramatics today and fucked off to another cafe. Tim should be more upset about the loss in business than he is, but that’s the furthest thing from his mind.

Because the Red Hood (It’s him, it’s really him) is still standing there. In the cafe.

 With Tim.

He glances down at his chest to make sure the knife isn’t actually buried there, because the possibility that he’s died makes more sense than the Red Hood standing in his cafe, surrounded by a horrific mash-up of dollar-store Hannukah and Christmas (because his family is technically Jewish even if they didn’t celebrate jack shit, and Steph took the shitty plastic menorah on top of the espresso machine as a challenge).

“Um,” Tim remarks, scrambling for the words he wants to say to one of his childhood heros, “So, can I get you something? I feel like I should get you something. Cause I mean. This is an establishment that supports vigilantism, okay? Robin’s Nest cafe, at your service. At least a 10% discount, just like military. Just putting it out there.”

Right. So where is that knife again? Can’t speak if he doesn’t have vocal chords.

The vigilante makes a sound through the synths in his helmet that must be a chuckle, shaking his head in amusement. He moves back up to the counter with movements far too fluid for someone of his size, and Tim swallows a bit as he’s forced to look up (and up) at close proximity. Wow, the helmet is something else– he’s itching to get his hands on it, take it apart and see all its functions and how it was made.

“Gotta first aid kit?” is almost lost to Tim, he’s so mesmerized – he thinks distantly that he’s probably looking a little manic, cause he’s running on caffeine and spite, and people have always told him that his tendency to hyperfocus is unnerving on a good day – but then the words click. He frowns.

“Yes, we do? He didn’t get you with the knife, did he?” he questions, eyes raking up and down Hood’s leather jacket for any telling rips or tears.

Hood tuts, reaching up to tap at his neck, “Nah, not me, but you’re ‘bout to need a new white shirt.”

Tim mimics the movement on autopilot, clapping his hand to the side of his neck and feeling the stickiness there. His heart jumps for a second as he pulls back his hand and sees enough blood there to wonder how he’d missed it.

“Oh. Damn.”

And that’s how, five minutes later, Tim’s got the doors to the cafe locked and finds himself sitting in the break room with the Red Hood dabbing at his neck with a cotton swab.

If he finally manages to overdose on caffeine tonight, he thinks he could go happily.

Hood’s so close that Tim’s 100% sure the vigilante can feel his heart trying to burst all his arteries by its sheer pumping force. He’s getting light-headed because he’s trying not to be creepy and do something like smell the the tall, buff guy with gentle hands (Cause, God, somehow the scent of cigarettes, leather, and gunmetal just work for him) and has thus forgone taking any deep breaths.

“Lucky you, s’not deep,” are the only words either of them has said since he plopped down on the table. Tim hesitates for a second, watching Hood close the first aid kit and step away, before he clears his throat.

Courage, Tim. Come on, you’re from Gotham.

“So. Thanks. For all that, I mean.”

Hood shrugs.

“Eh, there are worse ways to start the night. Plus, it’s way warmer in here than out there. Wasn’t kidding when I walked in– was gettin fucking blue balls out there, and not even from anything fun this time.”

Tim lets out a surprised laugh.

“Oh? Well, I think I have a way to warm you up.”

There’s amusement in every line of Hood’s shoulders as he tilts his head, becoming increasingly intrigued by this particularly bold civilian. When he speaks, there’s a definite purr there, mechanized though it is. Something prickly hot shoots down Tim’s spine, and he has to fight down a flush.

“Yeah? You got something in mind?”

Tim can’t help but grin. “Oh, I’ve got just the thing.”

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

“Let me guess. Hot chocolate with heavy cream?”

“Shut your shittin’ mouth, Dick.”

.

.

.

.

“…. It’s got candy cane flavor in it”

[kpopcorn-requests]

admin lil’s q & a that was supposed to be a video but now is a mass post

so since youtube won’t upload my stupid video I’m just going to answer the questions I got in my messages here and I’ll answer the other ones in the asks i got them in (unless you sent them to my other blog, they will be answered here too)

okay here we goooooooo

the anons from my main blog asked:

hello beautiful~ for your video: do you have any tips on how to become a greater writer? 

Hey there! I have a couple so I hope this helps!

Don’t rush yourself. It’s easier said than done, but if you rush yourself, your writing is rushed too, and the readers can tell. If you take your time, you can write your thoughts better and you over all feel better about what you wrote.

Describe details vividly!! It is way more attention grabbing and hooking than just simple details. It’s also easier for you to describe the image as you see it in your head, and if you want your readers to visualize it the same, vivid details make it easier. (for example: The girl was blonde and blue eyed. OR The honey blonde girl had striking sky blue eyes.) That’s how I like to do my details. 

Be yourself. Everyone has their own writing style and writing process, and even if you like someone else’s, it will feel forced and come off as such. Take influence, but don’t copy it. Write the way that makes you comfortable! 

I hope these help<3

I LOVE YOU- okay, so what do you like to do besides writing and seeing kpop stuff? 

I love you too!! I like to listen to music and watch crack videos on youtube lmao. I draw some but it sucks. I also sing! I like to hang out with my sister too! (She’s like me but older and more mature lmao)

Do you prefer horror movies or dramatic movies? In fact, what's your favorite movie genre? 

Is neither an option? Horror movies freak me out and dramatic movies either make me sad or bore me. If I have to pick, I guess I would go with horror. And I like superhero movies! Not really a genre, but I like how it’s like a mixture of comedy and action and drama, ya know?

Hey!! Just some questions for your video: cat person or dog person? you prefer to read you-fanfic or member x member fanfic? Do you like to read fanfic? If so, do you have any favorite writers or a favorite platform (ao3, fanfiction. net, etc)?  

Heyo~ I am more of a dog person personally! I love both but puppies are my weakness. (but cats make me very happy too) I do like to read fanfic! And what I read 

@buriedindreams asked me:

What is something you've always wanted to do?

I’ve always wanted to travel, and now I have so many internet friends (Like Admin Lionheart and you and Miche and Cassie and Kathryn) that I want to travel to meet you guys! 

If you could say anything to your past self, what would it be? 

It gets better. It’s super stereotypical but I went through some hard mental shit when I was younger. That or, don’t change yourself to make your friends like you more, it’s dumb and you’ll just change yourself back later.

Who was your first kpop bias? 

While I found Seventeen first, the first group I stanned was EXO and my first bias was Kai

Do you have any regrets? What are they?

I hate that my temper is so quick, so I have a lot of regrets revolving around me overreacting, and there is this recent thing but I don’t want to get into that.

Do you have a playlist of songs to listen to on bad days? 

I actually have a playlist titled “angst” so I listen to that or to Broadway musicals like Hamilton or The School of Rock

Have you ever cosplayed? 

No! But I really want to. My family and I have agreed that if we ever have the money to go to ComiCon that we will cosplay as X-Men 

What would be the "perfect day" for you? 

Talking to my friends, having no stress, getting enough sleep and having no homework lmao. maybe watching movies too? I like movies a lot

What are your biggest fears? 

spiders, snakes and losing all of my close family/friends for dumb decisions I make

Any pet peeves? 

hmmm I guess hypocrites and people who talk so much I can’t respond. or people not taking the blame for their actions

What was the pettiest thing you've done? 

I once dated a guy for three hours because I felt sorry for him (a dick move I know but I would have stayed with him longer [maybe] if he didn’t tell me he loved me two hours into dating)

How did you and your best friend meet? 

In real life? She’s my college roommate and we met on the first day of class. 

Online? tumblr. 

How did you discover kpop? 

Youtube! 

Who is your ultimate bias? 

Johnny Seo, Amber Liu, and Lee Sanghyuk

Do you have any kpop merch? 

I have a BTS hoodie and MANY cd’s but nothing other than that

What would you say to your favorite group/bias upon meeting them? (Doesn't have to be kpop) 

Assuming I haven’t fainted or that I’m not ugly crying at that point, I would tell them that they are doing such a great job, thank them for doing what they do, and tell them to rest well/eat well  *cough cough* mark lee

Do any of you non internet friends like kpop?

I have one friend who thinks Jackson Wang is hot and she listen to Got7 sometimes, that’s it lmao

If you could go on a road trip with your friends (internet or non) where would you go? What would you do?

I love the idea of going with a group of friends and each person picking ne specific spot they want to go, and then making a trip out of those spots. and well, with what we did, i guess it would depend where we went? 

Have you ever traveled outside the country, and if not, where would you want to go? 

I have not! and I really want to go to Ireland, Thailand, and Korea. Those are the main places.

Do you have any pets? 

I have three cats and two dogs! One labrador mix named Angel, a rescue pit mix named Watson, and then two black cats, Smalls and Morpheus, and a gray striped cat named Smokey!

Do you cry easily when watching sad movies?

HELL YES I’m so sensitive to sad things. like even a hint of death and I’m sobbing

Any movie or show recommendations? 

Tv shows, I love Stanger Things, Mudrock Mysteries, Bones, Drama World, Danny Phantom and Full Metal Alchemist (all of these can be found on netflix)

Movie wise, I like Spiderman: Homecoming, Atomic Blonde, Wonder Woman, Weird Science and the Power Ranger movie! 

Any song recommendations? 

OH GOD okay i listen to music everyday so here we go 

Sugar You - Oh Honey

Thunder - Imagine Dragons

Where Did The Party Go - Fall Out Boy

Trees - Twenty One Pilots

Friend Please - Twenty One Pilots

Bad At Love - Halsey

Oh Love - Misterwives

My Type - Saint Motel 

Innocent Love - Astro 

Go Go - BTS

Confession Song - Got7

Exodus - Exo

The Eve - Exo

 Loser - BigBang 

Sober - BigBang 

What’s Wrong - iKon 

M.U.P - iKon

Liar Liar - Oh My Girl

Red Light - f(x)

Sentimental - Winner

Really Really - Winner

Walk You Home - NCT Dream

0 Mile - NCT 127

Sherlock - Shinee

What is your style of fashion? 

I guess I’m grunge? I wear a lot of dark colors and like... chokers and heavy makeup and converse and stuff like that. I don’t know tbh lmao

@jaehyunskitten22 asked me:

What is your least favorite thing about kpop? 

How it’s so sexualized!! and how idols think they have to risk their health for us, and how some fandoms are the actual worst and uhhh i guess that’s it

what makes you attracted to your bias? 

this sounds weird but i really like his hands and his lips? and of course he’s fucking hialrious and so sweet and i just ... i love him

Have you always liked writing? 

yeah! i used to write to vent lmao

What first comes to mind when you think of your bias? 

hands, hair and humor, the true triple H lmao

@haneun-seomie asked me:

WHATS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? 

Pasta or pizza! I like cheese and carbs lmao (also i’m pro pineapple on pizza, fite me bout it)

YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE? 

X-Men First Class, The Nightmare Before Christmas or Big Hero 6!

How did you meet kpop?! 

Youtube recommended me Seventeen’s debut video!

How old were you when you started writing? 

Writing in general, I was about 11 maybe? Writing kpop, I was 16

Are you happy with your writing now or do you want to improve more? 

I am happy with how I write now, but I still think I can definitely improve more, so yes to both. 

How can you be so cute? 

BABY AWW This is adorable why are you so adorable

fun fact: when i have bad days, i just think of how hard we flirted when we weren’t dating. it was hella obvious but we were both oblivious

What are you planning to work on? 

If you mean career wise, I want to be a kindergarten/primary school teacher.

Project wise, I want to finish my vampire k!idol story!

Do you want a life-long career or you are open to changes in your profession in the future (if they come)?

I would prefer a stable career but if I find something that makes me happier, then I will definitely go for that. I just want to happy basically. 

@heartofafae asked me:

What's your favorite color?

Teal or aqua! (these shades)

 Are you in to any other fandoms? 

Kind of? I’m into superheroes (both Marvel and DC) and Disney. 

What's your dream vacation? 

Travelling!! Anywhere really! (Although... you know. Brazil would be hella awesome!)

What's your dream job? 

i’m in college, majoring in Early Childhood/Elementary Education, so a kindergarten teacher is my dream job!

Do you have a specific style/aesthetic? 

Style wise, I usually go for more grunge stuff? I don’t usually wear heels, but I wear dark colors and shorts, mainly.

Aesthetic wise, black and white with pops of teal and blue is my aesthetic!

How'd you get into kpop?

youtube recommended Seventeen’s debut music video to me, actually

Who was your first bias, and are they still your bias? 

My first bias was Kai from Exo, I guess? And no, he’s not. My Exo bias is Chanyeol now!

My first ultimate was Key from Shinee, but that’s also a no. Johnny owns my ass now. 

My first female ultimate was Amber from f(x) and yes, she still is my female ult!

Have you ever been to a Kpop concert? 

no, sadly. I’m planning on going to a kpop mini-con my city is having in november, and that will technically be my first kpop experience that isn’t online

I have however been to three other concerts! Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco and Twenty One Pilots!

How did you get into making texts/snaps/ect? 

I actually found a Magcon blog do them when I was hella into the Magcon boys (that was such a traumatic time for me they are so problematic) and I thought they were cool. and then i got into kpop and i wanted to make a blog but do something kind of different so.. I made this blog!

What's your favorite music video? 

Power by Exo is high on the list, as well as Fire by BTS, BoomBoom by Seventeen, Baby by Astro, My Page by NCT Dream, Cherry Bomb by NCT 127, and Still 24K by 24k. Those are probably the only ones that I’ve watched over and over again, boy group wise.

Girl group wise, Hate by 4minute, 4 Walls by f(x) and Ah Yeah by Exid are super good videos that I like.

Do you also like kdrama? 

I actually haven’t watched any but if you guys have any recommendations, I would love to take them! 

Who's your favorite boy group? 

why do you hate me

UHHH NCT Dream or Astro right now, actually.

Favorite girl group? 

f(x) or Exid!<3

@unironic-shitposter asked:

What got me into kpop?

That fateful day that YouTube recommended the Seventeen Adore U music video for me the day they debuted

How long have I been into kpop?

Almost two years!!

Where are you from?

Alabama in the United States of America!

Have you ever moved?

Cities, yes. States or countries, no. 

What’s your all time favorite song, both kpop and not kpop?

My favorite songs change all the time, so these are it right now. 

* non Kpop- Sugar You - Oh Honey or If Only You Would Listen - The School Of Rock Broadway Cast

* Kpop- What Can I Say - Day6 or Power - EXO

[kangaspark]

Coming out

So, while reading gay polygrumps smut, a thought popped itself into my head ‘wow, you’ve come a long way, as far as sexuality is concerned. So I've decided to share my journey in discovering my bisexuality. I considered myself straight until 15, and only then I came out, but I'm jumping the gun here. I probably would have come out sooner, but I had some hurdles to jump over first, so here’s some context to why I didn’t wanna come out. Number one, I live in an extremely Christian household; my mother had a shelf in the corner of the living room with busts of various Saints and popes. I also had 3 older brothers, two of which were directly above me in age, and I was viciously bullied by one of them, the other remaining neutral. the one who bullied me used everything he could against me, calling me a dumb blonde, despite my grades, calling me four eyes, for needing reading glasses, he called me ugly, useless, fat (it isn’t an insult now, but it was when I was little), and he made me generally feel shitty about liking ANYTHING! I couldn’t like traditionally feminine things without being a pussy, and I couldn’t enjoy traditionally masculine things without being a dyke (I hate using that word, but he used it mercilessly against me), I didn’t start to not care about what he said until I was 11 or 12, that was also about the time I started to read fanfiction. and initially, I only read about straight couples, because damn, being gay was used as an insult in my house, and the only time a gay guy was okay, was when he was a stereotype, and lesbians were considered ‘dirty and slutty’; Gay was the word that I avoided like the plague, because it was seen as dirty. anyway, so I read a cubic fuckton of straight yu-gi-oh fanfics, because no gays allowed in my good Christian search history, (BTW, I read all of my fanfics on my 3ds and looking back, I have a lot of gay ones now bookmarked.) the ONLY gay couple I found alright was thiefshipping, because I couldn’t think of Bakura and Marik being straight, plus I blame YGOTAS, So, when I ran out of polarshipping fics, I went to my next favourite couple, THIEFSHIPPING! and good lord I read a lot of them, I also drabbled in puppyshipping, but found them to be too unhealthy. I considered myself a Yaoi fangirl, and a straight one at that. I started to read more gay fanfics and becoming more comfortable with the idea of gay people and acts. (I may or not be able to read gay smut in the same room with my grandmother with a straight face, that was an interesting Thanksgiving) that was also about the time when I started religiously watching Adventure Time because I was homeschooled and had a lot of downtime. through AT, I discovered the first female I would have a crush on, Marceline the vampire queen, I thought she was a complete badass, and I still have countless Marcy shirts. I adored her, and soon fell for-*ahem*- I mean, admired another woman, Samus Aran, another attractive badass for me to adore. but let’s be clear, I WAS CLEARLY CRUSHING ON THEM IN A COMPLETELY STRAIGHT WAY, AND I ADMIRED THEIR, *ahem* physique.... (Lord I thought they were, and are hot) I thought about women and men more, but only voiced my thoughts about men. This continued until I went to Highschool, where my friends were my older brother's senior friends, who were almost all male (don’t worry, this is the neutral brother who didn’t really give me shit, he’s actually really nice, though he hates to admit it. he frequently helps me through depressive episodes and anxiety attacks, he’s a cinnamon bun) I hung out with them throughout my freshman year, where I met my longtime bestfriend @etriantechnician , he and I bonded and talked and he’s still my best friend, I late into my second semester, I met a girl in my PE class named Naomi, we were put together because of our last names being next to each other in the role sheet, and we quickly clicked. Fast-forward to my sophomore year, I was questioning myself because I was getting a crush on Naomi, and as much as I hated myself for it, I found her irresistible, plus she was bi. So after beating myself up for my attraction to her for ACTUAL MONTHS OF SELF-HATRED, I decided that I should test this attraction, so in mid-November, I asked her to meet me in the theatre after class, she did, and I asked her if I could kiss her, explaining my situation. She said yes. It was the longest minute of my life, and my heart was pounding, but we kissed, it was a long kiss and my first kiss. my brain blanked on everything except her, and everything felt light and electric, and when it ended, I wanted more, but she asked “did it answer your question?” it did, but that was the problem. we continued as normal as if nothing happened. I knew I liked women, and I hated it. some guy in my class actually tried to force me out of the closet, and I hate him now for it. it wasn’t until about February of my sophomore year when I actually came out as Bisexual, and surprisingly, my Priest was the first to find out, and he was super cool about it, the second was my friends, whose only reaction was “we already knew” or “Finally! took your sweet time didn't ya?” my sister found out next, and she wasn’t surprised. my mom was the next, and despite my worry, she was surprisingly alright with it, not keen on it, but she said she wanted me to be happy and get to heaven, and she’d love me no matter what. dad was next, and he’s alright with it. nephews and niece who I live with found out and were cool with it (although the eldest is starting to give me shit about it), now, my brothers; the eldest was so-so about it, the neutral one was well, neutral, only calling me a nerd and messing my hair. the bully found out and gave me shit for quite a while (he’s fine now, even pleasant to me now). it was a while before I voiced my attraction to ladies, and I’m still not out to my grandparents, but sexuality doesn’t really come up much. I’m now out almost completely (grandparents), and fuck, I’m happy about it. I now read gay fanfics without it being a guilty pleasure, and adore people of all shapes and sizes, because damn people are cute af. TL;DR, coming out is hard, and people are cute.

Thank you for taking the time to read this biblically long post about my gay ass. 

[emisonme]

Here we go again..................

That MTV interview with the photographer was a well written piece of propaganda for "Bare with me", basically saying that love is love, and it is beautiful in all forms. The stuff about Lauren and Lucy was all propaganda to prop up the narrative.

The photographer and the wardrobe lady were only saying what they were advised to say. LIES! (though the wardrobe lady decided to fuck the narrative a bit with the "sisterly and maternal connection") Management did the same thing with DWTS. Val was advised to lie about when and where he had his first meet up with Normani for DWTS. They had been rehearsing for days before that Houston Rodeo, yet they wanted to push the narrative to the general public that the girls were in on the surprise, and helped introduce Mani to her dance partner. Why? To show how much they support her decision to do her own thing.

My point is, they (management) have no problem getting outside forces, other than the girls, to help sell their narrative. The ladies who did that photo-shoot with Lauren and Lucy are no different. Why have the photographer say what she said? They needed someone, other than Lauren or Lucy, to confirm that Laucy was real, to prove that Camren wasn't. That one interview killed three birds with one stone. It confirmed Laucy, destroyed Camren, then destroyed Laucy, all at the same damn time. Brilliant actually.

Why did they need to confirm Laucy, and do so in a way that spans a few years? A few reasons really. Lauren was tired of being stuck in the public closet. She was ready to be herself, and to come out as "a proud Cuban American Bisexual woman". She couldn't do that, because it would basically confirm Camren. The Label's are not ready for Camila to be considered anything but "straight" for her career.

People keep asking, even though I have explained it before, why it's OK for Lauren to come out, but not Camila. Again, Bisexuality is more accepted in the Music Industry than Homosexuality is. They convinced Camila, and maybe more so her mother, that if she wanted a lasting career in the music business, she had to be "straight", and mention boys every time she opens her mouth. For a girl who used to stomp her feet and curse under her breath every time she was asked about boys, we have been hearing the word "boys" come out of her mouth, at least three times in every damn interview since she went solo. It's a promo trick. They want to pound into our heads that "Mila likes boys". I recognize the trick, that's why I'm not buying it.

So, Lauren needed a prop to come out, that could be believable and take the emphasis off of Camila and Camren. Who better, than her already out Bisexual best friend. It's not the first time someone famous has used their BFF to come out, and it won't be the last.

Let's do a little timeline..................................................................................

If my memory serves me correctly, Lauren and Camila were both "separately single" in the beginning of 2015. I believe it was around June of that year, when they really started publicly pushing Laucy in our direction. Interestingly enough, that's also the same month they started to push a possible Shawmila romance at us.

They weren't confirming Shawmila, but they weren't denying it either. They just sat back and let the fans do their thing, to promote the duet. Then after a while and song success, it was decided to put an end to the Shawmila rumors and say "just friends". No worries. With the demise of Shawmila, they began ramping up Laucy. They also began ramping up the "tension" between Camila and the girls. They needed to kill Camren 1) before Lauren came out, and 2) before they announced Camila's departure.

That brings us into 2016 and the 7/27 era. Last year, Lauren couldn't turn around without bumping heads with Lucy. She was everywhere Lauren was. London in May. Brazil in June. A few different stops on the North American leg of the tour. Lauren literally couldn't sneeze, that Lucy wasn't right there to wipe her nose.

It went both ways. They had Lauren spending almost all of her free time in NOLA with Lucy as well. The very private Lauren, the same girl who can travel the world's airports without anyone knowing she's there, never failed to let it be publicly know that she was in NOLA with Lucy.

Then it was off to Europe. October was an emotional month for all of the girls. Camila was publicly separated from them, and all of the girls were an emotional mess, but they never failed to put on a good show. After a little over a month, they got to finally come home, just in time for Halloween.

I don't know about you, but if I had just spent a month away from my girlfriend, my first stop after arriving home, would have been her bed, not California for a few days to play dress-up with friends. Maybe that's just me.

November was also a very busy month. They had to cram quite a bit into Novermber, before Thanksgiving and the Jingle Ball tour. Lauren had to go to a family wedding and pose for a kiss pic with Lucy, so it could be "leaked" (released for the public to see).

A few days later, Camila is at the dentist and snaps that she has seen all the hoopla over the kiss pic, and that she regrets logging on. She then is outside and she shoots out a tweet of a pic of her and a dinosaur, with the caption, "cuffing season" then another one that said "please believe me" Then they all go to the Epic party, where I'm pretty sure Camila is the one to find out, December 18 will be her final show with the girls. I know this all happened the same day, because she was wearing the same clothes.

Then just a few days later, Lauren officially comes out, in a long ass Trump rant in Billboard Magazine. After that rant is published, we find out that Lauren and Lucy are doing some kind of photo-shoot together. On November 20, the girls go to the AMA's. We got some cute Camren moments. Lauren had to stop herself from putting her hand around Camila's neck. It was funny.

That brings us to December. The Jingle Ball tour starts and 'Back To Me" is released. Lauren, sometime, does a live chat with Marian Hill, where she sort of addresses her Bisexuality, but says nothing about the kiss pic or a relationship with Lucy. We get to the Dec. 18 Miami Jingle Ball performance. In the very early hours of Dec 19, Management shoots out a ridiculous message to the masses announcing Camila's official departure from Fifth Harmony, to pursue a solo career. Then we are blessed with that whole cluster fuck back and forth, between Management. (must have been awkward criticizing themselves)

Merry Christmas! Who wasn't expecting a Christmas pic of Laucy? We've all seen the picture. Apparently there is more than one way to view it. Laucy shippers see a nice moment with a loving couple. I don't see it that way, at all. I see Lauren's thin lipped forced smile, her glassy eyes, and her stance, and my first thought was "she'd rather be cuddling a cactus." I mean, come on. She looks like she'd rather be getting shark piss shot up her nose with a three foot needle, than posing for that pic...but I digress.

Happy New Year! Camila heads off to Cancun for some fun in the sun, and Lauren heads off to Lake Tahoe for some fun in the snow. She poses for a snowy night pic with Lucy, a bottle of Champaign, and an ugly ass piñata. She parties with some friends, does a live performance with Marian Hill, then falls off the face of the earth. I'm pretty sure I know where she went, but anyways. She reappears at LAX a few days later, takes a pic to prove she was there, then off again.

5H do their PCA performance, on January 18, just before that is  Lucy's Birthday. January 11, is the first time there is even a  hint to Laucy by Lauren. She writes out a B-day message to her, basically saying how happy she is to have Lucy in her life, and addresses her as "My Love". WTF! Oh wait. If calling Lucy "My Love" in a birthday message means she fucking her, she must have also fucked Ally somewhere along the line, because she called her the same damn thing, in a birthday message.

That brings us to the Women's March on Jan.21. Lauren and Lucy were at the same March, only they weren't together. Uh oh, trouble in Paradise? (how are people actually falling for this shit) Rumors start flying that Lauren cheated on Lucy at the PCA's. REALLY!!! Is that the best you could come up with? What, did Lauren whisper "My Love" to a stage hand and get lucky. Jesus Christ!

Then it's Camila's turn to do press. She does an interview were she is asked if she has had any contact with the girls since her departure. She says "No! I tried. It's to sad to talk about." move on. The girls also refuse to discuss her when asked. OMG! The girls hate Camila. Camila loves the girls. How can Camren be a thing, if they aren't even talking? Everything's a damn mess! ONLY IF YOU BELIEVE ALL THE BULLSHIT!!!!!

To bring it full circle, Now we are back to the hilarious happenings of the last couple of days. They released the photo's from the photo-shoot first. The Laucy shippers were on cloud nine, and completely full of themselves. I'll admit, they were some nice pics. Lauren looked fantastic. Then they released the interview, and the Laucy shippers got gut punched.

The photographer, from a 4 month old photo-shoot, does an MTV News interview about Laucy. A fucking photographer "confirms" that Lauren and Lucy were in an on again off again relationship, for years. They were a beautiful loving couple during the shoot, but wait, they aren't together anymore, but they wanted us to still share these loving memories with the world. HOW SWEET!!!

Wait, since this on again off again relationship spanned years, when was there time for Camren? Well, let's see. Lauren had that Emblem 3 guy in 2012. There was Luis from the end of 2013 to July/Aug 2014. Then there was Brad also in 2014. They didn't "break up" until December. Lucy didn't move back to the States from Puerto Rico, until the Fall of 2014, to attend classes in NOLA. That means, Lauren didn't "reconnect" with Lucy until 2015. So that means, this on/off relationship that spanned years, was in 2015/2016. How convenient. She showed up just in time to kill Camren, help push Camila's solo career, and for Lauren's coming out. Do you not get it guys???

The whole point of Laucy, was to destroy the Camren ship, so Lauren could come out, without being linked to Camila, and so Camila could go solo, without being linked to Lauren.

So in one interview, a photographer managed to confirm Laucy, kill Camren, and break-up Laucy. I'd say that photographer knew EXACTLY what to say, wouldn't you? (like reading from a well rehearsed script) just sayin.

It couldn't end there though, could it! NO! Those delusional, disgusting, crazy ass Camren shippers, just had to get some payback. They started the #laucypartyover. Really, just couldn't let it go could you?

Apparently, Lauren (or her SM handlers) were stalking that hash tag. Someone tweeted using the hash tag "no wonder Lauren hates Camren"  Couldn't let that go by without a comment, right? It was laughable really. I mean, it wasn't just never real, it was "...never real...Ever"

Why would Lauren (if it was her) go out of her way to comment on a Camren tweet in a Laucy thread. Simple, after it was confirmed that Laucy were no more, the Camren shippers got their hopes up. Not on Lauren's watch. She literally obliterated the Camren ship...again. Why is she so adamant about killing it. Two reasons. 1) to protect Camila and her solo career and 2) now, Lauren is out and proud, single ready to mingle. (not really, but for Camren's sake, lets pretend)

What about Laucy? Lauren and Lucy are and have always been BFF's. Lucy is still available to use again, if need be. You know what the best part about all of this crap is? Finally, Lauren and Camila can have their "secret" relationship in private, without all of the Camren bullshit. (yes, I still ship them)

I don't know when it will be "safe" for Camila to come out, but one day she will get to. She wanted to before, but was pressured to keep quiet. The pressure, eventually will be off, and she'll get to be her true self, not only in private, but in public. Until then, I am going to continue to support Camila, Lauren, Dinah, Normani, and Ally. They all lost control of their lives chasing their dreams. They have done nothing to deserve the hate and the division of this damn fandom. We should support every single one of them, and wish for them all to find their true bliss, despite the fucked up business they're in and the people who run it.

[amzbailey]

very important personal post (for Pride Month)

I’ve been working on this for several days and I think I’ve finally said enough about it, so let’s just get right into it!

In honor of pride month, and because this is my Tumblr and probably the one social media outlet that I feel is my personal safe space, I feel that now’s as good a time as any to officially put this out there.

I identify as bisexual. I am attracted to both men and women. I won’t go as far as to say pansexual at this point (mostly because I haven’t really had a proper education on what the main differences are between the two terms, and the definition of bisexual really seems to cover all my bases). But over the past two years, I’ve become more comfortable with embracing my bisexuality as part of my personal identity.

Although this is the first time I’ve “come out” and said it in a not-so-private setting, I’ve been more open about it recently to close friends, and I even went as far as to briefly mention it to my mom. But there are a number of reasons why I’m not “out” to most people. The first and most obvious reason is that I think it might devastate my dad and upset other conservative/Christian family members and friends, and I really am not ready to deal with that type of reaction. However, the second and probably more paralyzing reason for not coming out publicly is my fear that this will be the response: “Wow Amy, that sounds like you’re just trying to include yourself in this ostracized group for no reason—obviously you’re not actually bi because you’ve never even been with a girl and wouldn’t know what it’s like. And even if you were, it wouldn’t matter because you’re married to a straight guy, so why even mention it?”. Which, to be honest, sounds about right in a number of ways. It doesn’t really make that much of a difference in my life because I am happily married to a man. In fact, it is also true that I’ve never dated or been in a relationship with a woman, so how the hell did I come to this conclusion, and why does it even matter?

Well, honestly, I’ve been aware of my attraction to both men and women since I was a young teenager. In fact, I know exactly who my first celebrity gay crush was—Hilary Duff. I would literally stare at her pictures in the liner notes from The Lizzie McGuire Movie album and Metamorphosis album for hours and didn’t know why. It was pretty damn gay, honestly.

However, in case you weren’t aware, I was raised in a very conservative Christian home in a deeply Protestant, traditional suburb community with mostly homophobic friends and family members. Anything I may have felt that would accurately be defined as “attraction” to girls was always reduced to something--anything--else. I just “really liked her as a person” or “envied her beauty”, or “admired her from afar”.

It wasn’t until I was about 15 or 16 when my group of friends learned the hilarious no-homo term “hetero-man crush” from our favorite YouTube channel Barats and Bereta (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiXhQUym0fA in case you’re curious), and started “joking” about our own hetero-woman crushes (needless to say I had a lot on my list) that I really started to even consider the idea that I could possibly be attracted to women. Because there was no question that I was attracted to men. I don’t even know how many guys I had “dated” or had some time of romantic/physical relationship by the time I started dating Jackson (probably 9 or 10), but everyone who knew me at 16 knew that I really liked boys. Although, in retrospect, I’m not even sure that was it--I think I really just liked making out--but we’ll never know now, and there’s no real point in thinking about it.

Anyway, moving on...

In order to really convey how I came to this very personal conclusion about my sexuality despite my hetero-normative monogamy, I have to take you back a few years for a little more context… And maybe even dig into some other personal aspects of my life like my spirituality and religion! Whee!!

I think it’s important to briefly note that the first time in my life that I ever even interacted with a gay person was in middle school. I had dated this boy named Justin for a few months in 6th grade (we went to the Valentine’s Day dance together), then we broke up, then we got back together in 7th grade (maybe? honestly, I don’t remember), but eventually broke up for good. I do remember in 8th grade, after my parents had already pulled me out of public school to homeschool me (another story for another day), my friend Sarah told me that Justin was now gay. My initial reaction was complete devastation and outrage because the way Sarah had phrased it basically implied that dating me had been so terrible that Justin didn’t want to date girls anymore. I had “turned him gay”. Not only was this a blow to my already fragile middle school self-esteem (because in my naive 13-year-old mind, I must have been so manly looking and ugly that he lost all attraction to women altogether), but also in an equally naive and warped way, it was my chance to save someone’s soul, and it would be a sin for me not to do/say something. Again, please keep in mind that this was my first encounter with homosexuality, and my parents had always taught me in was a disgusting sin, so my response to this news was to send Justin an email (yes, this was pre-Myspace and even pre-Xanga days, my friends) telling him that I would be praying for him to repent and change his ways so he wouldn’t go to hell for being gay.

Yikes. Trust me, I shudder every time I tell this story because of its absurd cringe-worthiness. But it’s also kind of funny, especially considering who I am today and who my friends are. Even so, despite later attempts at communication with Justin many years later to apologize for my 13-year-old hysteria, we never spoke or saw each other again.

Anyway… I include that story to demonstrate just how extensive my ignorance was and how sheltered I had been. I didn’t even associate with or really know anyone who was knowingly gay until college. That’s how isolated I was from the LGBT+ community, and that’s why I never even considered the possibility that I could possibly not be straight. It just wasn’t a thing.

I was 16 years old when I met the man that I would marry. I was 17 years old when we started dating.

Jackson and I officially met in the summer of 2007 and started crushing pretty hard on each other. The first time we bonded was a church youth trip to Six Flags, where my “friends” at the time had essentially deserted me, so I made a rather brave move as an introvert to hang out with some new social group—three boys named David, Jackson, and Zach that I didn’t know very well—in hopes to flirt with at least one of them and maybe even get a boyfriend out of the deal. By the end of the day, somehow Jackson and I ended up riding rollercoasters alone, talking about nerdy-ass roleplay forums, video games, and cartoons. I thought he was adorable, charming and funny, and he thought “wow this hot girl thinks I’m funny”. I thought we were a perfect match, but unfortunately, it wasn’t 100% reciprocated because he was apparently interested in someone else. To this day we’re a little foggy on the time line, but he officially started dating someone else (Kim) a few days/weeks later, so when I found out, I begrudgingly backed off. We remained (awkward) friends throughout the summer, I dated a few guys throughout fall and winter, and almost a year later, we finally “became a couple” in May 2008.

From the moment we “made it official” via text, Jackson and I stayed together. We weren’t on and off, and we never took a break. We continued our relationship through the end of high school and through college. We went on vacations with each other’s families, we lived in the same dorm buildings for 2 years, and ultimately stayed together through it all. He proposed to me in December 2013 and we were married in November 2014. We are—quite miraculously—still together and still very happy.

I say “quite miraculously” because statistically and by all other odds, we shouldn’t still be together. For starters, we’re by definition “high school sweethearts”, which already is doomed by statistics. It’s very rare for couples to last through high school and college. But what’s even more astonishing is that our relationship was completely embedded and grounded in Christianity. We met at church. His parents were in my dad’s Sunday school class. Most of our “first dates” were at youth group functions and on church trips. On May 11, 2008, Jackson said he really wanted to be more than friends, but he was worried that it wasn’t God’s will, so we promised each other that we’d pray for God to reveal whether or not we should take the next step. And we both agreed 2 nights later that “well, He didn’t say no!” and therefore, it must have been God-approved!

Throughout high school and college, our faith held strong. We remained deeply involved in church. We attended and hosted Bible studies, we led small groups, we volunteered to teach high schoolers in our youth group and stayed with them for 4 years... We almost gave up everything in 2013 to start a church with our religious mentor at the time. Through it all, Jackson and I were united in our faith and religiosity. It was all we ever knew and all we ever wanted.

After we got married in 2014... Things started to shift. Almost the first thing to go was church. It wasn’t because of our marriage that we stopped attending church regularly—it was mainly because of our newfound freedom. We no longer had to go. Our small group kids had graduated. Our Sunday school class fell apart. Worship was dull and generic. The sermons were irrelevant and repetitive. Also, there was a lot of shit going down at our home church. Corruption. Hypocrisy. Church politics that were far beyond what we were accustomed to seeing. There were lots of reasons why we stopped going, but at the end of the day, it’s because we didn’t have to anymore, so we realized we no longer wanted to and simply chose to stop going. But that didn’t mean we weren’t still Christians. Church attendance does not equal faithfulness... right?

Simultaneously, there were a number of deeper things going on, both on the surface and beneath. During one of my last semesters in college (spring 2013), I took two classes that challenged my faith more than I ever could have imagined: Psychology and Religion, and Jesus In and Outside the Gospels. If I’m honest, those put the initial seeds of religious doubt in my mind long before we stopped going to church. These professors never went out of their way to give reasons for students to denounce their faiths... But the knowledge I gained and the data I was presented with definitely left their mark. Psychology and Religion focused on the psychological and emotional effects that religion has on individuals. Jesus In and Outside the Gospel introduced me to the confusing process of Christian canonization and the even more confounding non-canonical gospels and records of Jesus.

At the same time these major doubts were marinating in my mind (for example, “was my religious conversion nothing more than a result of the manipulated environment that pastors are specifically instructed to create in order to gain converts due to its psychological effectiveness?”), my best friend came out as gay. Now, I had already vocalized my criticism about the supposed Christian approach to homosexuality, and had personally concluded that Christians were absolutely wrong to condemn and exclude that entire community. However, having a gay best friend and dealing with that theological dilemma was a completely new area for me. I had a few gay friends and acquaintances at this point (for example, during my sophomore year of college, I decided that my pansexual roommate would be a perfect person to witness to and hopefully baptize one day!), but this was different. It struck far closer to home.

It was about this time that I made the decision to never again attend a church that preached that homosexuality was a sin—which basically said that I was done with church. It became a major riff between me and my family—a frequent topic of discussion and debate that still remains today. Despite how open-minded my mother has become in recent years, we just discussed the other day that she still believes that homosexuality at its core is a sin and should never be “celebrated”. It honestly makes me sick to my stomach, but… anyway, that’s a topic for another day.

It was around this time of confusion and questioning that Jackson and I moved an hour away from our hometown so he could be closer to his job. This physical distance now combined with the spiritual and emotional distance from our Christian upbringing really started to take its toll. My parents worried about my faith and constantly begged me to find a church to attend. But Jackson and I had no interest in going back for a number of reasons. For one thing, we both had full time jobs now and we cherished our weekends too much to sacrifice a chance to sleep in. But for the most part, I was finding more and more reasons to question Christianity as a whole, and I felt more and more distant from it. It’s important to note that while I was voicing my faith doubts, Jackson was beginning to do the same. He claims that if I hadn’t started questioning, he may not have either. The two of us slowly started letting go of our old Christian selves to take on new ideas and belief systems.

With this newfound open-endedness, I decided to start expanding my horizons. I not only opened my mind to the possibility that Christianity was not entirely true, but I also began to consider the authenticity of other “alternative” lifestyles—more specifically, LGBT+. I rekindled a friendship with a former acquaintance I met through Tumblr years before who now identified as transgender. I listened to her story and opened myself to her insight. Other friends of mine also came out as LGBT. I witnessed their struggles too, as many of them also grew up in similar communities where their new identities would most likely not be accepted. It was very challenging, but also… encouraging. It was helpful to know I wasn’t alone in questioning everything I had ever known, and it was amazing to see how they coped and dealt with it.

Even so, somewhere in the midst of all of this, I began having a major identity crisis, and I fell into a deep depression full of anxiety and fear. Up to this point, my entire life—my identity, my thoughts, my hopes and aspirations, my relationships, everything—was completely embedded and intertwined in my faith. Everything I did, I did as a result of or in some connection with my faith. Every friend I had, I believed that there was a divine reason for their presence in my life. Everything that happened to me was God-ordained, and while I did have some control over my future, it was ultimately a part of God’s plan, and I just needed to follow His Will for my life. Everything I did, I did it for God, or at least I tried to.

This way of life became very unclear and ambiguous, however, when I started questioning the authenticity of the Bible. This also became very difficult when my prayers were no longer being answered. Everything became complicated, and I started to fear and question everything.

I would love to expand on this part of my life (because I have SO MUCH TO SAY about Christianity as an institution and its brutal and toxic effects on my emotional and mental state), but that’s a story for another day. The main point for this story is that I was questioning and doubting literally every single aspect of my life with one major exception: Jackson. He was my rock. He was my life preserver in my ocean of terror, the only thing keeping me from drowning. Don’t misunderstand—my friends were a huge support and I don’t know where I would be now if they hadn’t been there as well. But Jackson was my constant, probably because he was always physically there as well as emotionally. We were miles away from home, miles away from our friends and our support system, but we had each other. He watched my world turn upside down and witnessed my sanity slip away. He stood by me through it all and helped me come out the other side. All the while, he was dealing with his own doubts and spiritual questioning, too. He couldn’t give me the answers I needed because he didn’t have them either. But he was there, and he loved me. Everything else was in shambles, but I knew where he stood, and I knew where I stood. I didn’t know if God loved me or if my parents loved me, but I knew Jackson did. I didn’t know if I loved God anymore, but I knew that I loved Jackson.

This went on for several months and I finally sought professional help from a counselor. It took some time, but after seeing her for a few weeks, I finally started letting go of some of the existential anxieties and accepted the fact that it was okay to not be a Christian anymore. It was okay to question things, it was okay to change my mind. It was okay to not know what I believed. It was okay to not be sure about anything. It was okay to be myself, no matter what. With this new sense of freedom, I really started to explore more about myself. And that’s finally when I allowed myself to bring my sexuality into question.

Again, I had always known I wasn’t completely straight. I had several crushes on many girls, celebrity and friend alike. But I kept coming back to the fact that I was in love with Jackson, wholeheartedly. Even if I was attracted to girls, it wouldn’t matter, right? I had never even had a romantic encounter with a woman, and I never would because I had no desire in leaving Jackson. So why even bother thinking about it?

Early in the process of questioning, I told Jackson that I might be bisexual, hoping that he wouldn’t react negatively. He wasn’t surprised at all and was actually incredibly supportive. “You’re still Amy and you’re still my wife—why would that change anything?” In fact, the only thing it changed was the frequency that we would point out cute girls to each other in public, or discuss the hotness of Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Lawrence, or Anna Kendrick. In a strange way, you could almost say my “gayness” brought my husband and I even closer.

While that was overwhelmingly comforting, I still had a lot of anxiety about the validity of my bisexuality. If I claimed this new identity, would I have regrets? Could I live with the fact that I had never been with a woman? What if being with a woman was better? I would never know, but I would always wonder. What good could come from just wondering? What if I was overwhelmed by temptation? Would I leave Jackson? In retrospect, some of my anxiety was valid, but most of it was silly stuff that happens to everyone in long-term relationships. I could make the same arguments for other men, too. What if I was overwhelmed by temptation for another man and left Jackson? That wouldn’t be because of my “straightness”—it would be a very natural curiosity followed by a selfish action. So why would it be any different if it were a woman? If I truly loved Jackson and we both wanted to stay together, we just had to make the effort to overcome whatever came our way.

In late 2015/early 2016, right in the middle of my deep spiritual depression and sexual identity crisis, I was at Alex’s house with a handful of friends without Jackson (I think he was having a guy’s night with some of his friends). To help ease my anxiety and force myself to have a good time, I got super drunk really fast. I had already shared my half-revelation of my sexuality with this group of friends, and in a very uncharacteristically bold moment, I started making out with my friend Sara who also identified as bisexual. At the time, it was awesome and very hot! But the next morning and for days afterwards, guilt overwhelmed me. It’s important to note, though, that I didn’t feel guilty because I made out with a girl (because it felt surprisingly natural and normal), but because I, a married person, drunkenly kissed someone that was not my spouse. And I was afraid to tell Jackson, despite the fact that I had been very intoxicated at the time, and I knew he’d forgive me. Even if I hadn’t been drunk off my ass, I knew he would still love me for it, and yet the thought that he might leave terrified me.

When I eventually told him (probably 3 days later because I’m not good at keeping secrets from him), he was more upset that he wasn’t there with me than anything else. But he also admitted feeling jealous, just as he would if I had shared a kiss with a guy. We had always half-jokingly discussed before that we’d be down for a threesome with another girl, but honestly, I don’t think I could emotionally handle sharing Jackson with anyone. And, as we found out with the Sara incident, he’s not sure he could handle sharing me either.

Anyway... I kind of went off on a tangent there... I probably need to just wrap up, as this is getting waaaay too long.

To conclude this very disjointed, convoluted story… I’m bisexual. It may not matter to anyone else, and it may not change anything in the grand scheme of things. In fact, I am well aware that many in the LGBT+ community would be hesitant to include me because I’m monogamously with a man and therefore have never and will never experience the kind of discrimination and bigotry they deal with on a daily basis. And while that would be deeply upsetting to me (because my love for the LGBT+ community is deeply rooted in me, not just because I consider myself a part of it, but because so many people I love are LGBT and I will fight tooth and nail for every cause every time), I wouldn’t blame them. The last thing I want is an ostracized group who already struggles with being taken seriously to think of me as some straight interloper trying to claim gay identity like a white girl wearing a tear dress and claiming her 1/16 Cherokee blood as justification.

But it matters to me. My sexuality is a part of me and has always been a part of me. I understand myself better now by acknowledging and accepting my bisexuality. Even if I never had a chance to explore it and may never have an opportunity to experience what a sexual relationship with a woman would be, I’m still perfectly content because I already found my perfect partner and he makes me happy.

Growing up, I always clung to the idea of finding my “soulmate”. And while I’m not as sure now about whether a soulmate exists for every person, I know without a doubt that I found mine. As I said before, it’s pretty miraculous that Jackson and I are still together considering how drastically we’ve both changed since high school. When we started dating, I was a 17-year-old conservative, relatively homophobic Christian who never in a million years would consider herself non-heterosexual. When we started dating, Jackson was a 16-year-old libertarian/conservative Christian who was slightly less homophobic, but pretty sure he was pretty straight. We were kids who had been raised in an environment with a very narrow perspective of the world, but as we grew up together and experienced what the real world was like, we matured. We opened our minds, we challenged our beliefs, and we became adults. Together.

Through it all, despite all my spiritual doubts and questions, I do still believe one thing is still true: I do think God put us together. Whether he kept us together doesn’t really matter, because we kept us together. It hasn’t always been easy, but our bond has never faltered. In fact, I told him the other day that even if my upbringing had been different and I would have explored my sexuality at an earlier age, and even if I had dated girls and guys, I still very well could have ended up with him. We’ll never know of course, but Jackson, despite his ever-skeptical personality, said he agreed. He calls what we have a “cosmic bond” as opposed to being “soulmates”. I think I like that better, too.

Anyway.

So, Happy Pride to all my LGBT+ friends and family! I consider myself an “honorary” member, and it means more to me than you’ll ever know!

[derrickixyou]

all of the signs

crystal clear. right there. lies. uses me. selfish.

they were together when we first had sex. he denies it. the proof lies in her ig. they went to wingstop. why lie? her lipgloss kiss on his mirror. she had been in his new room. lies. no wonder pinocchio and aladdin are his favorite disney movies. fucking liars. how do i know he still loves her? it’s so obvious he is not over her and that she is the one who broke his heart. but he refuses to tell me the whole story. I know she cheated on him with his friend danny. they lost their friendship over her. danny still loves her but she doesn’t love him. she loves stephen. a married man with 2 kids. has issues but that’s her type. ugly with issues. she wants to take care of everybody. she gets pregnant by stephen and derrick starts doing heroin because he knows he’s lost her for good now because there’s no way he can afford to raise and take care of some other man’s baby. anyone’s baby for that matter. derrick wanted a family with her at one time. he envisioned himself having kids with her and taking them on their own trip to disney world. he never talks like that with me. he tells me he never wants kids. he will never love me as much as he loved her. i will always be second best to him. back to how i know he doesn’t love me and still not over her. he calls her baby ugly. he hasn’t made our relationship visible on fb. it’s set so only he and i can see that we are in a relationship. we are going on 2 years this november. he clearly still cares about her feelings because he doesn’t want to hurt her if she sees he has moved on. despite the fact that she clearly moved on. he doesn’t care how this hurts my feelings. i want to be with someone who wants the world to know he is with me. not hiding me. he says it is enough that his closest friends who he actually interacts with in real life all know about me because they have met me. that is enough. i need his ex to know that he moved on and is now with me. even if she knows, i want him to declare it on fb. he can’t talk about her without getting mad and refuses to talk about her like an adult. he cannot have a conversation about her period without getting mad and making me feel bad. i think he feels bad that he knows i know he has used me to rebound. he denies it but it is so obvious and he has to be retarded for me to not know. he’s hurt that she left him. she probably said some mean things to him that he can’t get over. how can you love someone new if you are still in love with the past. i am not saying he still entertains her, but his actions of keeping his phone locked, not giving me any passwords, acting really weird about me going through his phone, getting violently angry, is a definite red flag that something is still not resolved with her and he doesn’t want me to know about it. he told me he was going to change his number so he wouldn’t have to hear from her but that never happened and she still texts him once in a blue moon. the anger is still white hot. i honestly still want to blast a hole through her skull and leave that child an orphan. her baby dad don’t want nothing to do with it. i just need solid proof that he is not talking to her. because he acts like he clearly still has shit to hide and i’m tired of it. i wanted to cry earlier when we tried to settle down for the night and watch secret life of pets but he got mad and went to bed because he sensed i was still irritated and he refused to talk it out like a grown adult couple. now imma be up all night and still waiting when he wakes up to hash this shit out because i’m not done. i hate his gay friend who always texts him constantly. like leave my man alone already he don’t want your skinny ass little dick already. i feel like he’d go back to his ex in a heartbeat if we were to take a break. for sure. and amber, annalisa’s sister he used to fuck. yeah he has her on snapchat and ig but it’s ok and i’m not supposed to be mad about that. i don’t even like that he’s friends with annalisa because of her and i used to swear they had something too or that she had a thing for him, he swears up and down they didn’t they were just friends, only amber but that was over and done with.. whatever. i’m supposed to be ok with all this. i mention my previous guy friends and all a sudden i’m a tramp whore bitch. derrick is the only man i been with. so i don’t know why he trippen about anybody else before him. idk. i’m just being moody n really need to take my ass to bed but my stomach hurts for like the 3rd day in the row now and i’m feeling fed up sad and stupid. it’s all probably nothing but he did lie in the beginning and now for denying he remembers. he said he can’t remember anything that wasn’t important. funny how guys act that way. selective amnesia. think i’m really that stupid. i wish i could just forget this mess. i hate his stepmom for instigating this whole damn mess. she is to blame for this shitty ass night. fucking cunt. wish i could read or enjoy this movie but i can’t. he sound asleep in the bedroom and i’m up stressing. not fair. hate my life. everything sucks. feeling stuck. do i stay? do i trust? do i want a relationship living with him and his dad? hell no. i don’t wnna take care of his dad. we are not married. i have things i need to get together in my life. i ruined my car taking him to the dr. drove him to work every single day since we been together. 11/25/2015

6pm-430am. faithfully. religiously. lost sleep for him. lost years of my life for him. for what. selfishness. to be used. to be second best. never enough. never good enough to want to marry me or have my kids. no. second best to that ugly ass ex of his. fuck that hoe. i will kill her one day. i mean that.

[nobszone]

Have I said FUCK TURKEY recently? Cause if I haven’t, FUCK TURKEY.

Aside from my personal dislike of the nation due to having relatives that were killed in the Armenian Genocide, Erdogan is a piece of shit. This is a guy who staged his own coup in order to strip civil liberties away from his citizens. Oh and he also happens to be a big fan of, guess who, Comrade Pooty-Poot.

This however? Hoo boy.

I’d like to take a moment to acknowledge that I haven’t had time to do a proper post-mortem of the midterms, but at this point I think everyone can see the result. Trump no longer has the House, and he only barely has the Senate. And his behavior since November has been...erratic to say the least.

First he unceremoniously dumps his Chief of Staff to find that no one wanted the job and pretty much picked the interim guy by throwing at a dart board.

Then he openly threatens to shut down the Government if he doesn’t get funding for the Great Wall of Egotism, even going so far as to say he’d take credit for it. Which makes his attempts to pin the impending shutdown on the Democrats all the more hollow. He also says he’ll get the Military to build the Wall. Good luck with that.

Then Trump decides, abruptly, that we’re going to pull our troops out of Syria once current ops have completed. This sends the GOP into a Firestorm. Even Fox & Friends breaks rank. And to cap it all off, SECDEF James Mattis announces his resignation, in a letter to Trump that basically says “Fuck this, I’m out.”

But this right here? This is a whole different level of fucked up. This is something from another Universe.

This is a guy losing his damn mind.

Trump pulled out Syria without discussing it with anyone in the Government. Not Congress, not the Joint Chiefs, not his recently-resigned SECDEF, not even the VP. 

He didn’t discuss it with our allies, the UN, anyone.

He decided to pull out after a phone call with Erdogan. 

Full disclosure, I was very hesitant about going into Syria in the first place, because it read exactly like the kind of scenarios that would’ve resulted in the Cold War going hot. And as someone who thinks America should be less “world police” and more “Avengers”, I can sort of get on board with pulling out of conflicts that ultimately stretch our resources and, more importantly, were started without authorization from Congress. 

Next sentence:

Trump is handing over the region to all the wrong people.

This is the ugly truth about military interventions. They’re rarely something the Public wants to support at the start, it usually takes a catastrophic attack against the homeland to galvanize the public into supporting a war effort (see: Pearl Harbor, 9/11). But once you make the commitment to go in, you pretty much have to stay in until the job is done. Otherwise you could end up leaving the country a bigger mess than when you found it and ultimately get bit in the ass by the law of unforeseen consequences (see: Vietnam, Afghanistan after the Soviet invasion). 

ISIS has been defeated, yes, but it’s not just a matter of putting them down, it’s keeping them down. This would be like if we pulled out of Iraq after Saddam was captured. It would’ve resulted in the country being an even bigger mess than it already is. 

The biggest thing though to me is that he’s doing this without talking to anyone else in our own Government or even our allies. He’s pulling out at the suggestion of the leader of a nation that, while technically an ally due to them being a part of NATO, has, as of late, been a lot more friendly to Moscow than D.C. And is it any surprise that Putin’s all smiles about this development?

This is not good, folks. The President of the United States has shown he is more willing to listen to leaders of nations that may not like us very much before he listens to the politicians, no less the people, of his own country.

This is a very bad precedent to set.

But hey, at least the Great Wall of Xenophobia gofundme is off to a decent start.

[repwincoml4a0a5]

97 Ways Of Saying The Same Hateful Thing: 'Get Out Of America'

“Go back to your country” and “Get out of my country.” That’s what white men in Kansas and Washington state told Indian and Sikh men in recent weeks before shooting them ― it’s as if they were speaking from the same script.

Here are 97 times in the past two years that people hurled this kind of get-out-of-America hate, often with explicit language, at minorities ― whether it was yelled from car windows, spray-painted on buildings or written in threatening emails ― to make them feel lesser and like they don’t belong here. 

These quotes were collected, in part, using data from ProPublica’s Documenting Hate Project. If you’ve been a victim or a witness of hate, tell us your story.

  “Get out of America!” and “Arab, you need to leave, asshole!”

― March 8, 2017, in Salem, Oregon

  “Go back to Mexico.” 

― March 4, 2017, in Lansing, Michigan

  “Go back to your country.” 

― March 3, 2017, in Kent, Washington. 

“Fucking Mexican. ... Go back to your country.”

― March 1, 2017, in Brooklyn, New York 

 “Get out of my country.” 

― Feb. 22, 2017, in Olathe, Kansas

“Go back to where you came from.” 

― Dec. 31, 2016, in Las Vegas

“Go back to Africa.” 

― Dec. 28, 2016, in Kodiak, Alaska

“You fucking immigrant piece of shit. You Muslim. Go back to your country.”

― Dec. 11, 2016, in Bronx, New York

“Go back to Africa.” 

― Dec. 6, 2016, in Moonachie, New Jersey

“Go back to your own country.” 

― Dec. 5, 2016, in New York

“I will cut your throat — go back to your country.”

― Dec. 3, 2016, in Brooklyn, New York

  “You can go back where you came from.”

― Nov. 31, 2016, in Cedar Falls, Iowa

  “Go back to your country.” 

― Nov. 26, 2016, in San Diego

  “You Muslims would be wise to pack your bags and get out of Dodge.” 

― Nov. 24, 2016, in San Jose, California

“You’re a terrorist. Get out of here.” 

― Nov. 23, 2016, in Albuquerque, New Mexico

“You don’t even — from here, you mothafucka. Fucking loser. Fuck you and your family, you terrorist motherfucker ... You’re an Arab. You’re a fucking loser. Sand nigger ... Trump is president, asshole, so you can kiss your fuckin’ visa goodbye, scumbag. We’ll deport you soon, don’t worry, you fuckin’ terrorist.”

― Nov. 17, 2016, in Queens, New York

“Go home.” 

― Nov. 17, 2106, in West Springfield, Massachusetts

“Go back to your country.” 

― Nov. 16, 2016, in Philadelphia

“Fucking Muslims, go back to where you fucking came from, you’re so ugly.”

― Nov. 15, 2016, in New York

“Hijab-wearing bitch. This is our nation. Get the fuck out.”

― Nov. 14, 2016, in Fremont, California

“Cunt, you don’t belong in this country. Go back to your fucking country.”

― Nov. 11, 2016, in Columbus, Ohio

  “You can all go home now.” 

― Nov. 11, 2016, in Iowa City, Iowa

“Trump might deport you ... I think you’re an ugly, evil little pig who might get deported and I pray that you do.”

― Nov. 11, 2016, in San Francisco

“Let me see your papers. Get out of my country and go back to Mexico.” 

― Nov. 10, 2016, in Cambridge, Massachusetts

  “ISIS is calling! Muslims can leave!” 

― Nov. 10, 2016, in New Paltz, New York

“Go back to your country.” 

― Nov. 9, 2016, in Cambridge, Massachusetts

“You wetbacks need to go back to Mexico.” 

― Nov. 9, 2016, in Salt Lake City

“Go back to Mexico.” 

― Nov. 9, 2016, in North Bend, Oregon

“#GoBackToAfrica ... Make America Great Again.”

― Nov. 9, 2016, in Maple Grove, Minnesota

“Go back to Mexico where you belong.” 

― Nov. 9, 2016, in Plano, Texas

“Have you started packing?” and “Go back to Mexico” and “Yeah, keep on packing” and “We’re more American than you.”

― Nov. 9, 2016, in Woodland, California

“Go back to Africa” and “Go back to Mexico.” 

― Nov. 8, 2016, in Edwardsville, Illinois

“Go back where you came from.” 

― November 2016 in Denver

“Go back to Mexico” and “Go back to Africa” and “Sorry, you have to go back.”

― November 2016 in Spokane, Washington

“Go back to Africa.” 

― November 2016 in Poughkeepsie, New York

“Go back to the jungle.” 

― November 2016 in Englewood, Colorado

“Go back to Mexico. You don’t belong here.” 

― November 2016 in Sonoma, California

“Go back to Mexico.” 

― Oct. 31, 2016, in Albuquerque, New Mexico

“Go home” and “Go back to your country.” 

― Oct. 20, 2016, in Fort Smith, Arkansas

“Terrorist, leave, No one wants you here.”

― Oct. 14, 2016, in Dundalk, Maryland

“Go back to China ... go back to your fucking country.”

― Oct. 9, 2016, in New York

“Go back to your country.” 

― Sept. 22, 2016, in Lakewood, New Jersey

“Go back to Africa.” 

― Sept. 22, 2016, in Norman, Oklahoma

“MUSLIMS GET OUT.” 

― Sept. 19, 2016, in Lonsdale, Minnesota

”Get the fuck out of America, bitches. This is America — you shouldn’t be different from us.”

― Sept. 8, 2016, in Brooklyn, New York

“Go back to China.” 

― September 2016 in Orange County, California

“You should take your black ass back to Africa so this campus and America can be great again.”

― August 2016 in Bowling Green, Kentucky

“Foreiger (sic) go home” and “Go Home Indian” and “I will kill you.”

― July 24, 2016, in Pahrump, Nevada

“I wish that you were not in the United States, and you don’t deserve to be here, either.”

- July 24, 2016, in San Francisco

“You Muslims need to go back to where you came from.”

― July 2, 2016, in Fort Pierce, Florida

“ISIS motherfucker. Get out of my country.”

― July 2016 in Omaha, Nebraska

“Go back to your country.” 

― June 22, 2016, in Waterbury, Connecticut

“Get the hell out of the country you bitchass Muslims!”

― June 22, 2016, in Germantown, Maryland

“American’s don’t want you here and when President Trump gets into office, your (sic) going home!!! Back to the (expletive) dry sand and the desert.”

― June 17, 2016, in Plainfield, Indiana

“Muslim trash go home!” 

― June 16, 2016, in Boston

“You are Muslim and not welcome ... Go away killers ... America hates Terrorist (sic) like you!”

― June 15, 2016, in Tucson, Arizona

“You white bitch. You don’t belong here. Go back to your people.” 

― June 14, 2016, in New York

“Go back home and take [your] bombs with you.”

― June 13, 2016, in Queens, New York

“Take your rag ass back to your country. I’m gonna fucking kill you.”

― June 9, 2016, in Richardson, Texas

  “Go back to your country, wetback.” 

― June 2, 2016, in San Jose, California

“Leave now before it is too late ... I tell every sand nigger that I see to leave ... American’s don’t want you here and when President Trump gets into office, your going home!!!”

― June 2016 in Plainfield, Indiana

“Go back to your country or we will blow your ass up.” 

― May 25, 2016, in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan

“I don’t want [those two Muslim women] near my country.”

― May 23, 2016, in Orange County, California

“Fucking Mexican. Go back to Mexico.” 

― May 15, 2016, in Tulsa, Oklahoma

“Go the fuck back to where you came from.”

― April 30, 2016, in Marshfield, Wisconsin

  “Go back to Africa.”

― April 21, 2016, in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

“Go back to Mexico.” 

― April 7, 2016, in Elkhorn, Wisconsin

“Go back to Mexico.” 

― March 21, 2016, in Oakhurst, California

“If you call yourself an African-American, go back to Africa. If you’re an African first, go back to Africa.”

― March 12, 2016, in Cleveland

“Go to Auschwitz. Go to fucking Auschwitz.”

― March 12, 2016, in Cleveland

“You want to live in this country, you better leave ... brown trash ... Trump! Trump! Trump! ... Trump will take our country from you guys!”

― March 12, 2016, in Wichita, Kansas

   “Go back to China. Go back to China. Go back to China.” 

― March 2016 in Lexington, Kentucky

“Go back where you came from.” 

― Feb. 9, 2016, in College Station, Texas

“Stay in your desserts [sic] and follow your religion in your own countries. ... Go back to your own country; America needs to get rid of people like you.”

― Early 2016 in Elmwood Park, New Jersey

“Go back to your country.” 

― Jan. 28, 2016, in Edina, Minnesota

“Terrorist, go back to where you came from!”

― January 2016 in Tucson, Arizona

  “Go back to your country. Fuck you.” 

― Dec. 20, 2015, in Brooklyn, New York

  “Mother fucking tacos! Go back to Mexico! Go back to Mexico! Nobody wants you!”

― Dec. 16, 2015, in Phoenix

“Go back to your country.” 

― Dec. 11, 2015, in Lancaster, New York

“GO BACK TO MEXICO NOW.” 

― Dec. 8, 2015, in Pittsburgh

     “Go home.” 

― Dec. 1, 2015, in Bismarck, North Dakota

“Go back to your country.” 

― December 2015 in Clifton, New Jersey

   “Go back home, you terrorist.” 

― Nov. 17, 2016, in New York

“Get out of my country. Go back to where you came from.” 

― Nov. 14, 2015, in Cedar Rapids, Iowa

“Yeah, go back where you came from.” 

― Nov. 10, 2015, in Milwaukee

“Go back to your country.” 

― November 2015 in Queens, New York

“FUCK THE KURAN. FUCK MUSLIMS ... TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT ... Get out of my country, yes my MUTHA FUCKIN COUNTRY”

― November 2015 in Hudson County, New Jersey 

“Go back to Mexico.” 

― Oct. 10, 2015, in Spokane Valley, Washington

“Learn English or go back to Mexico.” 

― Oct. 7, 2015, in Waterloo, Iowa

“Terrorist, go back to your country.” 

― October 2015 in Columbus, Ohio

“Go back to Mexico.” 

― Sept. 14, 2015, in Dallas

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2n8gzh8

[repwinpril9y0a1]

97 Ways Of Saying The Same Hateful Thing: 'Get Out Of America'

“Go back to your country” and “Get out of my country.” That’s what white men in Kansas and Washington state told Indian and Sikh men in recent weeks before shooting them ― it’s as if they were speaking from the same script.

Here are 97 times in the past two years that people hurled this kind of get-out-of-America hate, often with explicit language, at minorities ― whether it was yelled from car windows, spray-painted on buildings or written in threatening emails ― to make them feel lesser and like they don’t belong here. 

These quotes were collected, in part, using data from ProPublica’s Documenting Hate Project. If you’ve been a victim or a witness of hate, tell us your story.

  “Get out of America!” and “Arab, you need to leave, asshole!”

― March 8, 2017, in Salem, Oregon

  “Go back to Mexico.” 

― March 4, 2017, in Lansing, Michigan

  “Go back to your country.” 

― March 3, 2017, in Kent, Washington. 

“Fucking Mexican. ... Go back to your country.”

― March 1, 2017, in Brooklyn, New York 

 “Get out of my country.” 

― Feb. 22, 2017, in Olathe, Kansas

“Go back to where you came from.” 

― Dec. 31, 2016, in Las Vegas

“Go back to Africa.” 

― Dec. 28, 2016, in Kodiak, Alaska

“You fucking immigrant piece of shit. You Muslim. Go back to your country.”

― Dec. 11, 2016, in Bronx, New York

“Go back to Africa.” 

― Dec. 6, 2016, in Moonachie, New Jersey

“Go back to your own country.” 

― Dec. 5, 2016, in New York

“I will cut your throat — go back to your country.”

― Dec. 3, 2016, in Brooklyn, New York

  “You can go back where you came from.”

― Nov. 31, 2016, in Cedar Falls, Iowa

  “Go back to your country.” 

― Nov. 26, 2016, in San Diego

  “You Muslims would be wise to pack your bags and get out of Dodge.” 

― Nov. 24, 2016, in San Jose, California

“You’re a terrorist. Get out of here.” 

― Nov. 23, 2016, in Albuquerque, New Mexico

“You don’t even — from here, you mothafucka. Fucking loser. Fuck you and your family, you terrorist motherfucker ... You’re an Arab. You’re a fucking loser. Sand nigger ... Trump is president, asshole, so you can kiss your fuckin’ visa goodbye, scumbag. We’ll deport you soon, don’t worry, you fuckin’ terrorist.”

― Nov. 17, 2016, in Queens, New York

“Go home.” 

― Nov. 17, 2106, in West Springfield, Massachusetts

“Go back to your country.” 

― Nov. 16, 2016, in Philadelphia

“Fucking Muslims, go back to where you fucking came from, you’re so ugly.”

― Nov. 15, 2016, in New York

“Hijab-wearing bitch. This is our nation. Get the fuck out.”

― Nov. 14, 2016, in Fremont, California

“Cunt, you don’t belong in this country. Go back to your fucking country.”

― Nov. 11, 2016, in Columbus, Ohio

  “You can all go home now.” 

― Nov. 11, 2016, in Iowa City, Iowa

“Trump might deport you ... I think you’re an ugly, evil little pig who might get deported and I pray that you do.”

― Nov. 11, 2016, in San Francisco

“Let me see your papers. Get out of my country and go back to Mexico.” 

― Nov. 10, 2016, in Cambridge, Massachusetts

  “ISIS is calling! Muslims can leave!” 

― Nov. 10, 2016, in New Paltz, New York

“Go back to your country.” 

― Nov. 9, 2016, in Cambridge, Massachusetts

“You wetbacks need to go back to Mexico.” 

― Nov. 9, 2016, in Salt Lake City

“Go back to Mexico.” 

― Nov. 9, 2016, in North Bend, Oregon

“#GoBackToAfrica ... Make America Great Again.”

― Nov. 9, 2016, in Maple Grove, Minnesota

“Go back to Mexico where you belong.” 

― Nov. 9, 2016, in Plano, Texas

“Have you started packing?” and “Go back to Mexico” and “Yeah, keep on packing” and “We’re more American than you.”

― Nov. 9, 2016, in Woodland, California

“Go back to Africa” and “Go back to Mexico.” 

― Nov. 8, 2016, in Edwardsville, Illinois

“Go back where you came from.” 

― November 2016 in Denver

“Go back to Mexico” and “Go back to Africa” and “Sorry, you have to go back.”

― November 2016 in Spokane, Washington

“Go back to Africa.” 

― November 2016 in Poughkeepsie, New York

“Go back to the jungle.” 

― November 2016 in Englewood, Colorado

“Go back to Mexico. You don’t belong here.” 

― November 2016 in Sonoma, California

“Go back to Mexico.” 

― Oct. 31, 2016, in Albuquerque, New Mexico

“Go home” and “Go back to your country.” 

― Oct. 20, 2016, in Fort Smith, Arkansas

“Terrorist, leave, No one wants you here.”

― Oct. 14, 2016, in Dundalk, Maryland

“Go back to China ... go back to your fucking country.”

― Oct. 9, 2016, in New York

“Go back to your country.” 

― Sept. 22, 2016, in Lakewood, New Jersey

“Go back to Africa.” 

― Sept. 22, 2016, in Norman, Oklahoma

“MUSLIMS GET OUT.” 

― Sept. 19, 2016, in Lonsdale, Minnesota

”Get the fuck out of America, bitches. This is America — you shouldn’t be different from us.”

― Sept. 8, 2016, in Brooklyn, New York

“Go back to China.” 

― September 2016 in Orange County, California

“You should take your black ass back to Africa so this campus and America can be great again.”

― August 2016 in Bowling Green, Kentucky

“Foreiger (sic) go home” and “Go Home Indian” and “I will kill you.”

― July 24, 2016, in Pahrump, Nevada

“I wish that you were not in the United States, and you don’t deserve to be here, either.”

- July 24, 2016, in San Francisco

“You Muslims need to go back to where you came from.”

― July 2, 2016, in Fort Pierce, Florida

“ISIS motherfucker. Get out of my country.”

― July 2016 in Omaha, Nebraska

“Go back to your country.” 

― June 22, 2016, in Waterbury, Connecticut

“Get the hell out of the country you bitchass Muslims!”

― June 22, 2016, in Germantown, Maryland

“American’s don’t want you here and when President Trump gets into office, your (sic) going home!!! Back to the (expletive) dry sand and the desert.”

― June 17, 2016, in Plainfield, Indiana

“Muslim trash go home!” 

― June 16, 2016, in Boston

“You are Muslim and not welcome ... Go away killers ... America hates Terrorist (sic) like you!”

― June 15, 2016, in Tucson, Arizona

“You white bitch. You don’t belong here. Go back to your people.” 

― June 14, 2016, in New York

“Go back home and take [your] bombs with you.”

― June 13, 2016, in Queens, New York

“Take your rag ass back to your country. I’m gonna fucking kill you.”

― June 9, 2016, in Richardson, Texas

  “Go back to your country, wetback.” 

― June 2, 2016, in San Jose, California

“Leave now before it is too late ... I tell every sand nigger that I see to leave ... American’s don’t want you here and when President Trump gets into office, your going home!!!”

― June 2016 in Plainfield, Indiana

“Go back to your country or we will blow your ass up.” 

― May 25, 2016, in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan

“I don’t want [those two Muslim women] near my country.”

― May 23, 2016, in Orange County, California

“Fucking Mexican. Go back to Mexico.” 

― May 15, 2016, in Tulsa, Oklahoma

“Go the fuck back to where you came from.”

― April 30, 2016, in Marshfield, Wisconsin

  “Go back to Africa.”

― April 21, 2016, in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

“Go back to Mexico.” 

― April 7, 2016, in Elkhorn, Wisconsin

“Go back to Mexico.” 

― March 21, 2016, in Oakhurst, California

“If you call yourself an African-American, go back to Africa. If you’re an African first, go back to Africa.”

― March 12, 2016, in Cleveland

“Go to Auschwitz. Go to fucking Auschwitz.”

― March 12, 2016, in Cleveland

“You want to live in this country, you better leave ... brown trash ... Trump! Trump! Trump! ... Trump will take our country from you guys!”

― March 12, 2016, in Wichita, Kansas

   “Go back to China. Go back to China. Go back to China.” 

― March 2016 in Lexington, Kentucky

“Go back where you came from.” 

― Feb. 9, 2016, in College Station, Texas

“Stay in your desserts [sic] and follow your religion in your own countries. ... Go back to your own country; America needs to get rid of people like you.”

― Early 2016 in Elmwood Park, New Jersey

“Go back to your country.” 

― Jan. 28, 2016, in Edina, Minnesota

“Terrorist, go back to where you came from!”

― January 2016 in Tucson, Arizona

  “Go back to your country. Fuck you.” 

― Dec. 20, 2015, in Brooklyn, New York

  “Mother fucking tacos! Go back to Mexico! Go back to Mexico! Nobody wants you!”

― Dec. 16, 2015, in Phoenix

“Go back to your country.” 

― Dec. 11, 2015, in Lancaster, New York

“GO BACK TO MEXICO NOW.” 

― Dec. 8, 2015, in Pittsburgh

     “Go home.” 

― Dec. 1, 2015, in Bismarck, North Dakota

“Go back to your country.” 

― December 2015 in Clifton, New Jersey

   “Go back home, you terrorist.” 

― Nov. 17, 2016, in New York

“Get out of my country. Go back to where you came from.” 

― Nov. 14, 2015, in Cedar Rapids, Iowa

“Yeah, go back where you came from.” 

― Nov. 10, 2015, in Milwaukee

“Go back to your country.” 

― November 2015 in Queens, New York

“FUCK THE KURAN. FUCK MUSLIMS ... TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT ... Get out of my country, yes my MUTHA FUCKIN COUNTRY”

― November 2015 in Hudson County, New Jersey 

“Go back to Mexico.” 

― Oct. 10, 2015, in Spokane Valley, Washington

“Learn English or go back to Mexico.” 

― Oct. 7, 2015, in Waterloo, Iowa

“Terrorist, go back to your country.” 

― October 2015 in Columbus, Ohio

“Go back to Mexico.” 

― Sept. 14, 2015, in Dallas

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2n8gzh8