#WHICH JUST MAKES IT SOUND DEPRESSING LMFAO

[samgiddings]

having a weekend bday in august has a weird amount of problems

[johndonneswife]

are you and Ayesha planning on having kids? 🥺

nope never ever!

[hazelnutsforellie]

sex, drugs, etc. | e. williams ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

PAIRING— dealer!ellie williams x fem!reader

SUMMARY— your dealer and friend, ellie, becomes jealous when she learns you you were around someone she doesn't want near you.

WARNINGS— smut [18+], language, mention of depression, sexual tension, jealous/protective ellie, shy reader, marijuana use, mutual pining, sex while high, switch!ellie, bottom!reader, fingering (r rec), oral (e rec), thigh riding, scissoring, praise, pet names (baby, pretty girl, etc.), choking, biting, hair pulling, nipple play, multi-orgasm [2], ellie is slightly toxic but i like it, not proofread.

WC— 6.5k ...i got carried away

AUTHOR'S NOTE— i wanted to stray away from doing modern!ellie and make it more difficult for myself?? lmfao. pls feel free to send requests and/or feedback!! anyway stream sex, drugs, etc. by beach weather i'm too lazy to get a link xx

special tags for jen and eden (@evanpetersluver / @kurosaaki) mwah enjoy ♡

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A sigh blew from your nose as you watched Dina pass the blunt to her friend Jason, your right knee bouncing repeatedly. You were sitting on Dina's bed in her bedroom, smoking with her and three of her friends, secretly wishing you could be with Ellie sooner. You weren't too familiar with Dina's crew. Sure, you knew them, but you weren't close with them like you were with Ellie and Dina. You didn't mind them, though.

"Oh, I'm good," you said, holding your hand out to reject the blunt that Jason was offering to you. You had already taken a few hits, and you could feel the leftover burn in your throat from the smoke. "I'm meeting up with Ellie soon."

Ellie, your dealer, always smokes you up with her personal stash whenever you visit her, and you did not want to show up too stoned.

You were a shy girl that Ellie practically took under her wing. Because of Ellie's personality, you were able to slightly break out of your shell and meet more people like yourself that you enjoyed being around, such as Dina. Dina and Ellie were friends, mainly because Dina buys from her, but they weren't as close as Ellie was with you.

You had been friends with Ellie for a short while. After you became friends, you opened up during a session that you were going through a tough breakup, and were having trouble with confidence. Ellie helped you regain that confidence, frequently reminding you that you were special.

Both of you knew your friendship was flirtatious, despite you wanting to deny it to yourself. Yes, you had a crush on your dealer, who then turned into your friend after she took a liking toward you. She thought you were sweet, cute, genuine, and more. Despite her cold persona, she was soft toward you. You were different, and despite knowing of said crush, Ellie ignored it.

"I just saw her earlier," Dina noted with a smile, taking a seat beside you on the edge of her bed. Ellie was off doing deliveries, and told you that you could go to her house at sunset. You listened as Dina's friends began making light conversation, talking about topics you weren't interested in. Then, you heard your name.

"Hm?" you hummed, raising your head to meet the eyes of Jason.

"You said you're seeing Ellie later, right?" He asked, to which you nodded, looking up at him while he sat in Dina's desk chair. Dina's friends were spread about the room, just having casual conversation. "I might stop by to reup, maybe you'll be there."

"Maybe," you nodded with a cute smile, not intending to come off in any way other than kind. You were quiet, but naturally flirtatious.

To your relief, you could see the sun beginning to pierce through Dina's bedroom window, insinuating that it was almost time for you to leave.

As you made your way to Ellie's front door, the snow crunching beneath your feet and your gentle humming was all that could be heard besides the sounds of the town. Your knuckles gently bounced off the metal door, your entire body shivering as the cool air was quickly consuming you.

The door opened to reveal none other than Ellie herself, her eyes meeting yours. You noted how the white reflection of the outdoors brightened her eyes. You could get lost in them any time, admiring the way they shine when the light hits them.

"Hey, perfect timing. I've got just enough for you," Ellie said with her usual smile that made your cheeks warm.

She opened the door wider to invite you inside, away from the brisk weather, to which you hurriedly accepted. Barely making it inside, you had already tracked snow just past the door before you could take your shoes off.

"Shit, I'm sorry," you sighed, kicking your boots off near the door. Ellie was only a foot away from you, and you could almost feel the heat radiating off her.

"Don't worry about it," Ellie waved it off, closing the door behind you before making her way over to her desk, where she already had her things ready to smoke with you. She collected her things, bringing them to the coffee table in front of her couch as you made yourself comfortable on it.

You knew the drill. Every time you buy from Ellie, you share one or two blunts and just enjoy each other's company.

"Here," Ellie quickly piped, grabbing a few blankets off the upper back part of the couch and covering you with them as you tucked them into every crevice you could. Ellie's simple gestures were a large portion of the reason why you gravitated toward her. The blankets were thin, but you were thankful that she had multiple.

Despite being fully aware of the weather, your stubborn self still left your place in jeans and a hoodie, and you were surprised that Ellie wasn't reprimanding you for risking a cold.

"I just got back from the store for wraps," Ellie explained as she pulled something from her back pocket, tossing enclosed blunt wraps you were about to use onto your lap as she sat beside you. "Can you open it for me?"

Ellie was lucky she found healthy plants at Eugene's to start her 'small business' in the first place during such apocalyptic times. Despite not particularly needing cash, Ellie liked trading for items she could keep or sell depending on what she needs. Her customers consist of mainly teenagers and young adults, the inhabitants of curious minds.

The older citizens of Jackson, particularly the older men, banded together to keep the town's smoke shop up and running instead of turning it into housing or a different shop. Surprisingly, they always seem to have a supply of wraps, the main popular items being cigars and cigarettes, to which Ellie would cringe at the smell when she would walk in.

You tore the package open as Ellie opened her baggie of weed, gently shaking it before pulling out a few nuggets. Your comfortable silence was soothing. You enjoyed Ellie's company, and you could feel your tensed shoulders beginning to relax the more you sat beside her.

Ellie had her elbows on her knees, manspreading to reach the coffee table. You watched as her slim fingers broke apart the nugs, her tongue poking out to wet her bottom lip in concentration. Witnessing such an act made you swallow, your eyes flickering back down to the two wraps in your hand.

"Here," you said, placing them on the coffee table beside the rest of her things.

"Should I roll two?" she asked, glancing over at you periodically as she began to gently crack open a wrap with her fingers. Having already smoked a bit prior, you figured you wouldn't need much, despite its effectiveness wearing off.

"I don't need much," you claimed, tightly wrapping the blankets around yourself. "I smoked a little while ago."

You couldn't see it, but Ellie's expression had completely faltered, curious as to who you were smoking with. Not that it was particularly her business.

"Oh, really? With who?" Ellie questioned nonchalantly as she began to pinch the weed into the wrap, having discarded the old tobacco from the wrap onto the coffee table.

"With Dina and her friends," you said with a shrug, picking at your cuticles subconsciously. Her eyes met yours easily, since you were already staring in her direction.

Ellie knew something you didn't. Earlier, when Ellie was selling to Dina, Dina mentioned something to her about you that unknowingly bothered Ellie.

Ellie didn't know how to ask you what 'her friends' meant, beginning to pinch the wrap closed. You knew what was coming next, watching as her tongue gently dipped onto the wrap to make it stick, her saliva binding it closed.

You seemed to have gotten lost in thought, mainly about her tongue, when she handed the blunt to you.

"No, you rolled," you shook your head, holding your hand out to reject her offer. It was a known practice that whoever rolls or packs gets first hit, but Ellie always tries to offer it to you first.

Ellie rolled her eyes playfully, lifting the blunt to her lips to firmly hold it while she cupped her hands around the end of it, sparking her lighter until the flame burned the tip a bright orange.

You watched Ellie's lips scrunch around the blunt as she pulled the smoke into her lungs, the tip burning brighter until it turned to ash. You wished you could just kiss her perfect, plump lips.

"I saw Dina earlier," she noted as she exhaled the smoke, offering the blunt to you. You gladly accepted, pinching it between your fingers.

"She mentioned that," you replied, lifting the blunt to your lips. "I told her I was coming to see you."

"Did she mention anything else?" Ellie's sudden question confused you. You wondered what else would she need to mention, let alone regarding Ellie.

You furrowed your brows in uncertainty, "What do you mean?"

You couldn't help it, but your intuition immediately jumped to a conclusion that was completely incorrect due to Ellie's curious, worried expression. Did something happen between them?

Sure, you had mentioned to Dina once or twice that you thought Ellie was attractive, but you never fully admitted to having feelings for her. You couldn't deny that you were an overthinker, trying to unravel Ellie's question and assume what she was thinking. You already had a leftover high when you arrived, and smoking more on top of it was a threat for overanalyzing.

Ellie was silent, wishing she just stayed quiet about the subject. She knew she had to say something, and she also knew that you could see through any lie she tried to tell you. Ellie was a good liar in general, but not with you. She rarely, if ever, had a reason to lie to you, no matter how big or small. There was no way out of it.

Dina did not like to admit that she enjoyed gossip, but she let Ellie in on a secret when she was buying from her. She told Ellie that her friend, Jason, had a plan to ask you out, unbeknownst to you. Ellie didn't like the thought at all, not because she hated the guy, but because she wanted you.

"Was Jason there?" Ellie asked, essentially ignoring your question. You were taken aback, a confused expression still plastered on your face.

"Yeah... why?" you inquired, taking another hit of the blunt before passing it back to her. Ellie accepted it from your fingers, refusing to make eye contact with you as she spoke. She was putting herself in a vulnerable position, potentially risking your friendship. She just couldn't hold herself back.

Ellie softly scoffed, too quiet for you to hear, and before she took another drag of the blunt, she muttered, "Of course he was."

Ellie's lips curled in disgust at the thought of Jason near you. Her jealousy was beginning to reveal itself, making you raise a brow and say, "He told me he might stop by. He heard me mention I was coming here."

"Oh, yeah, I'd love to see that fucker show up," Ellie sneered before shaking her head with a scoff. You were used to her language, but you couldn't ignore how genuinely angry she seemed. "He just bought from me the other day. Fucking bastard."

Before you could say anything, let alone think, she continued.

"I don't think you should hang around that guy," Ellie admitted flatly, taking another hit. The high was rushing straight to her head, allowing her to be more bold than usual.

You folded your hands in your lap, on top of the blankets, giving her a curious look. You wondered if she truly believed Jason was a bad guy, and you both knew that you would take her advice either way.

You had a lot of trust in Ellie, as she did with you. She helped pull you out of a rut and a peaceful fifty-fifty friendship emerged. She adored you, and often protected you, so her protective behavior was not a foreign thing for you.

"Why not?" you asked, starting to annoy yourself with your repetitive questions. You just wanted Ellie to spit it out, and thankfully she did.

"The jackass is into you," Ellie finally revealed, sneering at the thought of him trying to make a move on you. There was a moment of silence as you processed the new information, shrugging and barely shaking your head. You didn't care. You didn't like him back, but you had to admit it was validating.

"Does that bother you?"

Ellie was taken aback by your question. Her eyes slightly widened, eyebrows lifting ever so slightly as she passed you the blunt. Of course it bothered her, but she couldn't tell you that. Your soft, innocent voice was a pleasure to her ears. She just wanted to protect you, to claim you as her own, but what good was a depressed, helpless girl to a bright and innocent one?

"Well..." Ellie trailed off, breaking eye contact to watch your lips as you placed the blunt between them. You took another hit, nearly reaching your limit for the time being. Her eyes trailed back up to yours, which were focused on the end of the blunt as it burned. "I just don't like he's good enough for you."

"Oh... And why's that?" you probed, your eyebrows raising suggestively as you smoothly exhaled the smoke from your lungs.

Ellie sighed, leaning back against the couch with her legs remaining spread apart from her manspreading position. You felt yourself involuntarily clench around nothing, daydreaming how it would feel to sit on her lap, with her hands on your waist—

"You deserve someone... I don't know— Someone who would do anything for you. Get hurt to protect you. Make you smile, laugh. I don't know, I just don't see him doing that for you," Ellie rambled calmly, surprising you. "Not saying he doesn't want to, I wouldn't know. I just... ugh."

Ellie didn't know how to express her feelings, especially without revealing how she feels for you. She just couldn't admit to you that she wanted you for herself.

You tried to pay full attention to what she was saying, as well as her body language. You were hearing her, but you couldn't push away the indecent thoughts that were brewing. The weed wasn't helping whatsoever. The way she would use her hands as she spoke, the way she would frequently dart her tongue to wet her lips, it was getting to you.

Ellie did not realize that she was describing herself. All of the characteristics she listed had her name clearly plastered on them, in your opinion, at least.

"You're describing yourself," you murmured as you took another hit, making your own eyes slightly widen after realizing what you said. Ellie was taken aback once again, especially since you essentially called her perfect.

"What?" you laughed at Ellie's bewildered expression, your high making you giggly and smiley.

Ellie seemed relieved. Your words were music to her ears, a simple sentence that confirmed her hopes. There was something there between you, she knew that, and your words were a solid stamp of verification.

"Well... You don't have to worry, or anything," you assured as you watched Ellie take another hit, quickly becoming overheated from the layers of blankets wrapped around you. You began pushing them off your frame as you continued, "I don't like him. He's alright, but... no."

Ellie wanted to ask why, though she believed it would be pushing it. She didn't want to upset you, or make you think she was crazy.

There was still a small fact that was continuing to go unaddressed. Ellie's jealousy was as clear as crystal. Her feelings were growing just as clear, the more you thought about it. Why else would she care so much? Sure, her protective behavior was normal, but not the clear, snarky jealousy that dripped from Ellie's tongue when she sneered at the thought of him being around you.

You found it... alluring. You liked it, you had to admit. You couldn't take it. You were craving her contact, just for her to touch you. To kiss you. Oh, her lips. You wanted to know what they felt like on your own, on your skin, between your thighs. You could not focus on the conversation at hand, it was the entire reason you could feel yourself growing wet by each passing second.

"Well... that's good, then, huh?" Ellie's voice was deep, nearly making you squeeze your thighs together as you shifted in your spot so that you were facing her, while she remained in her relaxed manspreading position.

Ellie was doing no better, having the exact same thoughts as you. While you got lost in thought, her eyes danced around your face, back and forth from your lips to your hooded, pink-tinted eyes.

You couldn't stop the words from escaping your soft lips, allowing the weed to carelessly speak for you.

"Kiss me," you barely whispered, which forced her eyes to meet your own. Fuck, Ellie thought. Ellie did not even seem surprised by your words, she looked pleased. Your words were like a key, unlocking a door that Ellie thought would never open.

There was no need for you to say another word. Ellie's slim fingers found your waist, pulling you closer to her while you simultaneously grabbed both sides of her jaw, pulling her face closer to yours. You were pulling into one another, desperately wanting to your lips to meet. She was careful not to burn you with the ash of the blunt, still holding it between her fingers while she held onto you.

The kiss was just how you imagined it would be. Soft, warm, wet, full. You melted into her, your body weight holding her down as you leaned in. There was a spark of uncertainty, a sudden fear that you had just ruined your friendship, sobering you for a moment as you pulled away.

Your hands were still on her jaw, coddling her face as her hands remained on your waist, her slim fingers tightening around the cotton material of your hoodie.

Ellie's eyes darted from your lips to your eyes. When you didn't say anything, she could tell that you didn't want to stop, but that you wanted to be sure that she wanted you just as much as you wanted her.

Ellie used her grip on your waist as leverage to lift you onto her lap, silently assuring you that she wanted the same thing. She wanted you. Without another word, you wrapped your arms around her neck, capturing her lips with your own.

Her lips were almost as soft as yours, slightly chapped from her inability to stop nibbling on them. They met perfectly with yours at an even pace, confirming how good of a kisser you assumed she was, and you were thankful that your mouth wasn't dry considering how much you had smoked.

You relished in the feeling of her hands on your waist, finally knowing what it's like to be held by her. You could feel her grip slowly release, her cold fingertips sliding underneath the fabric, onto your skin. Ellie realized that you were only wearing a bra underneath when her fingers met your skin, letting out a heavy breath against your lips.

There was a reason behind it that you were way too embarrassed to admit. You often hoped that something would happen between you, a crush being a crush and all, and would either "forget" your shirt or bra under your sweater when you'd visit. Unbeknownst to you, Ellie could tell when you didn't wear a bra on certain days. Of course she did, though. How could she not? She takes every opportunity she can to admire you, bra or not.

You weren't as cold as you were earlier, your body warming with arousal. Ellie stopped reciprocating your kisses for a moment so you would pull away to meet her eyes, which were silently asking if she could take your hoodie off. Ellie was testing the waters, not wanting to be forceful with you unless she got the approval. God, she drove you mad in the best way possible.

You gave her a gentle nod, releasing your arms from the back of her neck. She placed the blunt between her lips, using both hands to pull the hoodie up your chest, discarding it beside her on the couch. She pinched the blunt, placing it back between her fingers and she let out a long breath, the smoke clouding your vision as she took in your appearance, quickly licking her bottom lip before grabbing your sides again, pulling you closer to her. Your lips slammed onto hers, your tongue tangling with hers before she quickly overpowered you.

Suddenly, her grip on your waist tightened and she lifted you off her, guiding you to stand. She followed suit, recapturing your lips with her own as she slowly led you toward her bed with a slight struggle, due to the two of you kicking off your shoes. The urgency was pitiful.

She guided you onto her bed, your head resting comfortably on her pillows as she straddled and towered over you, her lips never losing contact with yours. You were glued to each other, desperate for each other's touch. You tugged on her blue button down, and she quickly understood what you wanted.

Ellie tucked the half-smoked blunt between your lips, giving you a wink before sitting up to pull the article off her shoulders, discarding it so she was just left with a grey shirt and jeans.

Her hands then found your waist, catching you off guard by flipping you over so you were straddling her while she remained sitting up, her hands gilding down to your hips, then the hem of your jeans. Nothing needed to be said. Both of you understood what the other was thinking, how the other felt.

You pulled the blunt away from your lips, tilting your head up to exhale above Ellie's head. Ellie took the opportunity to attack your neck with her lips and tongue, the simple gestures causing your heat to twitch in anticipation.

Ellie began unbuttoning your jeans, hearing the zipper for a split second, then forcing them off your hips. You helped her discard them before you repositioned yourself onto her lap. Your thin panties rubbed her bare stomach, her shirt being pushed up to her chest due to the repositioning.

You held the blunt against her lips, waiting for her to accept it. She did, her eyes looking up at yours as she took a drag, holding it between them. Your breath was becoming shaky, and whether you liked it or not, Ellie could hear it. She exhaled the smoke from the side of her mouth, continuing to look up at you as she tugged on your shirt. Her doing anything made you absolutely soaked.

You nodded and crossed your arms over your chest, using both hands to grab the hem of your shirt before pulling it off, tossing it to the floor. You were left in just your undergarments, while Ellie remained in her jeans and shirt. Ellie pinched the blunt and held it between her fingers again, and you swore you could hear her swallow.

"Fuck," Ellie whispered, her eyes dancing around your vulnerable body, admiring your form. "Just as beautiful as I thought."

Her words caused your cheeks to burn cherry-red, suddenly feeling vulnerable under her stare. Ellie felt you tense, her expression becoming serious, though it was just a play. She loved messing with you, and she claimed to be the only one allowed to do so. She used her hand with the blunt to cup your cheek, pulling your face down to hers.

"Do you know you're pretty, baby?" Ellie purred, hiding a smirk as she felt you clench against her stomach, despite having yet to take off your panties. The pet name nearly made a moan escape your throat, forcing you to gulp.

"I... I—"

"You're mine, aren't you?" Ellie cooed almost accusingly, purposefully teasing you. It wasn't news that Ellie was basically your protector, caring more about your safety than her own, but did you ever consider that it made you hers? You liked the thought of being hers, you had to admit.

Ellie couldn't wait any longer, shifting you above her so your legs were straddling her right thigh. A faint gasp fell from your lips, rolling onto Ellie's for her to swallow. Ellie tried to hide her cheeky smile as she began to press feather-light kisses from your jaw to your lower neck, using her tight grip on your hips to gently grind you down against her thigh.

A soft moan escaped your lips, followed by another, and another. Ellie knew what she was doing, enough to make you wonder how. The friction of her jeans and your panties combined surprisingly felt better than you'd imagined, but you wanted to feel her. Taste her.

"You like that, pretty girl?" Ellie purred, using her left hand to caress your right thigh, slowly inching inward toward.

"Mhm," you moaned in response, reaching for the front hem of her jeans as you grinded along with her pace, hooking your fingers underneath.

"Feel good, hm?" Ellie continued, gradually applying pressure to your hips until she found the right amount. She noted how greedy you were, practically begging for more with each passing second. "What do you want, baby?"

You swore you could feel yourself drip from how cockily Ellie pampered you. She could tell that the pet name worked on you. She wanted to make sure she did everything right for you.

"I-I want to taste you," you admitted, your cheeks slowly burning pink. Ellie raised her brows in shock, taken aback that you wanted to please her first. Well, any pleasure of hers is yours anyway, you wanted to make her feel good. You sat up from Ellie's thigh, too eager to continue, unbuttoning her jeans.

As you pulled her pants down her legs, Ellie leaned over and tossed remains of the blunt into the ashtray on her nightstand. She then pulled the drawer out, her hand disappearing inside. She pulled out a pre-rolled joint and a lighter, placing the joint between her lips and sparking the end of it with the flame, cupping her other hand around it.

You began to tease the waistband of her underwear, slowly but eagerly pulling them down her thighs, just enough to give yourself access to her cunt. It was glistening, waiting for you. Ellie had to admit, she felt a bit vulnerable herself. She never had anyone go down on her before, but she wanted to try it with you.

You wrapped your arms around her thighs, holding them open as you peppered gentle kisses on the innermost side of them, wondering if Ellie was going to be patient, or take full control. Unbeknownst to Ellie, she went with the ladder. Ellie used her right hand to snake her fingers in your hair, firmly gripping your locks to force your mouth onto her cunt.

You instantly plunged your tongue between her soaked folds, flicking your tongue to taste her as much as you could.

"Oh, fuck," Ellie groaned, her grip on your hair tightening. She watched how your tongue flicked and swirled, her eyebrows furrowing together in pleasure. "Oh my— fuck... How does it taste, pretty girl?"

One thing you could admit was that you weren't expecting Ellie to be so verbal in bed. You liked it, though it was surprising. You moaned against her in response, causing her body to visibly quiver. Ellie was slowly falling apart from the inside out. She squeezed her eyes shut as her short and shaky breaths grew louder, the foreign pleasure quickly spreading throughout her core.

She then pulled your face away, your eyes meeting hers through your lashes. With her left hand, she reached down to offer you the proper end of the joint, practically shoving it between your lips. You took a drag until she pulled it away, holding your head still as you exhaled against her cunt.

"You're so perfect," she praised with a sly smile, using her grip on your hair to shove your mouth back onto her heat. You softly dragged your tongue over her bundle of nerves before sucking, earning a nearly pornographic moan from her in response. You smiled against her, proud that you were able to make her feel so good.

"Shit, don't stop," Ellie ordered, but her moans almost made it sound like a plead. With each drag of your tongue on her swollen clit, a choked moan would escape her lips. Ellie couldn't believe that she could already feel herself growing close, the knot within her belly growing tighter.

"I.. 'm gonna come," Ellie almost whimpered, her hand releasing from your hair to grip the bedsheets. Your eyes shot up to her face, watching her hooded eyes struggle to stay open, her long, thick lashes light kissing the skin of her undereye.

Ellie bucked her hips to grind herself against your mouth, desperately chasing her peak. Ellie's legs twitched and with one gasp she was at her release, her back arching off the bed. Slick of your spit mixed with her juices coated her inner thighs, causing them to glisten under the light illuminating from the nightstand. Her orgasm struck her hard, a string of frantic moans and curses falling from her beautiful lips.

"Fuck, right there!" she sobbed, continuing to grind herself against your mouth. You were completely soaked, your face and your heat, and were sure that your panties had a wet spot that Ellie would smirk over. Ellie's movements slowed to a halt as she came down from her climax, swiftly sitting up. You released your lips from her clit, looking up at her with big doe eyes.

She used her hands to capture the sides of your face, pulling you onto her, your lips landing on hers. You melted into the kiss, leaning into her until you were fully towering her once again. She immediately plunged her tongue between your lips, tasting herself.

"Who taught you to do all that, huh?" she rasped, wrapping a hand around your throat. You felt her other hand slip between the two of you, landing on your clothed cunt. You moaned into her mouth, causing her to smirk against your lips. "Hm?"

"N-no one," you stammered, looking down at her with innocent eyes. You were being genuine, you had never done it before.

Ellie merely hummed before she began kissing the side of your neck, quickly finding your sweet spot after a soft breath escaped your lips. Ellie kissed and suckled on the sensitive skin of your neck as she rubbed gentle circles into your clit, carefully applying pressure.

"Turn around," she murmured in your ear, although it was pointless, because she suddenly used both of her hands to flip you around so that your back was pressed against her chest, comfortably sitting in a slouched position. Her right hand quickly found its way to the waistband of your panties, toying with it while she hooked her right leg over yours, spreading your legs apart.

With her left hand, she lifted the joint to your lips, allowing you to pinch it between your fingers and go to town. As you took a hit, you felt Ellie's fingers slip under the band of your panties, her cold fingertips grazing your clit.

"I promise 'm gonna make you feel good, okay?" Ellie purred in your right ear from behind you, her middle finger finding your heat and in one push, your gummy walls were hugging it. You threw your head back against her left shoulder, clenching around her digit. Ellie groaned from how soaked you were, how her finger slid in with such ease. "Fucking soaked for me."

Ellie's comment made you whimper, squeezing your eyes shut from the stimulation. Hearing this made her chuckle and push in a second finger.

"Shit," you whined, bucking your hips to meet the thrust of her fingers. She was going agonizingly slow, wanting you to beg, or try to get it yourself. You held the joint with your left hand, using the other to desperately grab Ellie's right thigh, which was still holding yours down against the bed. Ellie hid her sly smile in your neck, hungrily sucking love marks onto your skin. "That's it, pretty girl."

The gushing sounds coming from your cunt led Ellie to fasten the pace of her fingers, thrusting them mercilessly. Your moans were barely overpowering the squashing noises, your thighs beginning to shake uncontrollably.

"Fuck, Ellie!" you cried, your eyes screwing shut as Ellie's fingers curled inside you, lightly brushing your sweet spot.

Knocking sounds erupted from the front door, causing you to gasp. Ellie's free hand clasped over your mouth, but her fingers never stopped.

"Who is it?" Ellie called out, clearly sounding out of breath. She then turned her head back to face your neck, pressing multiple rough kisses on your delicate skin.

"Uh... Jason," The voice said from the other side of the door, causing Ellie's lips to halt against your skin. Ellie's fingers stopped as well, nearly making you cry in protest. Ellie rolled her eyes, not wanting to deal with anyone or anything when you were meant to have all of her attention.

Ellie's eyes narrowed in thought before she slowly began to pump her fingers again, whispering in your ear, "You think he could make you feel this good?"

You moaned against her hand, the sound getting muffled by the barrier. Ellie smirked to herself, listening to the noisy sounds of your cunt before turning her head toward the door.

"I'm busy!" Ellie called back flatly.

"But--"

"I'm fucking busy!" Ellie snapped. Even though Ellie now had all of the validation she needed, she still didn't want to see Jason after learning he wanted you. Neither of you were sure if he took the hint, but you didn't care.

With that, Ellie's pace quickened, her other hand pulling at your bra. Your moans did not stop once while you tried to take it off, but Ellie stopped your movements. Instead, she pushed your shoulder forward so she could reach the clasp on your midback, undoing it swiftly.

You were too overwhelmed with pleasure to try and peel the straps off your shoulders, your legs fighting to stay open as her fingers repeatedly hit your sweet, spongy spot. Ellie noticed this, tenderly pulling your bra off your frame before groping your left breast.

"Are you close, sweet girl? Hm?" Ellie's voice was like gravel coated in honey, moaning along with you as she began rolling your nipple between her fingers, teasing the sensitive peak. You would believe her if she said she felt just as much pleasure listening to you. "Talk to me."

"Y-yes," you managed to whimper, feeling your release inch closer and closer.

"Come f'me like the good girl you are. Can you do that, sweetheart?" Ellie purred, causing your hips to buck. Ellie let go of your breast, her fingers finding their way to your clit, swirling circles into your bundle of nerves. Her fingers on your clit, as well as those inside you, completely threw you over the edge before you could reply.

You cursed as your orgasm crashed into you, your entire body stiffening as you came. Pitiful moans escaped your lips, Ellie continuing to pump her fingers at a comfortable pace. The sloppy noises of your cunt never stopped, enhancing Ellie's arousal.

"Goddamn, you're so fucking wet," Ellie nearly grunted in your ear before pulling her fingers out of your sopping, used cunt. She brought her fingers up to your lips, letting you suck her middle finger. You let go of her finger with a pop, huffs falling from your lips as you recovered. Ellie then bright her hand up to her mouth, sucking her ring finger clean.

She then grabbed the joint from your weak fingers, lifting it to her lips with a smirk. She finished it off, tossing the remains into the ash tray on her nightstand.

Before you could say a word, Ellie's hands were on your waist, pushing you off her and onto the bed beside her so she could tower over you. You already looked fucked out. Little beads of sweat dancing down your temples, bright cheeks and wet lips.

"I need to feel you," she huffed in urgency, pulling her underwear off her ankles from you not having discarded them beforehand. She quickly arranged herself on top of you, using your right knee as leverage for her to get into a proper scissoring position. You could see the faint glistening of her cunt, her wetness failing to subside after hearing your moans and exploring you with her fingers. Ellie wanted all of you, she wanted to leave you shaking.

A whiney moan escaped your throat when you felt Ellie's wet core gently land on yours, almost instantly bucking your hips into her. Ellie let out a huff, starting to grind against your sensitive bundle of nerves.

Your moans were comparable to sobs, bellowing louder than the messy sounds of your cunt.

"You always this wet when you're around me?" Ellie grunted, reaching down to grope your breasts with her free hand, the other still holding onto your knee.

"Y-yes," you managed to admit, arching your back from the pleasure you were soaking in. Your fluids were messily dripping down your inner thighs, smearing onto Ellie's. You could feel the coil in your belly begin to tighten, the friction of Ellie's soaked cunt sliding perfectly over yours at the right pace.

"Yeah? All f'me?" she purred, leaning down to kiss you before retreating, resuming her thrusts.

Heavy breaths puffed out of Ellie's lungs as she continued her steady movements, her short nails leaving indents in the skin of your knee from her tight grip. She could feel her own release creeping closer as well, fastening her pace, which led her to firmly grip your thigh, squeezing it harder than intended. You yelped in pain at first, though it quickly melted into a moan of delight.

"I'm gonna come," Ellie whined, the overstimulation of a second orgasm taking over her. You watched as her eyes rolled to the back of her head, signaling that she had reached her release. You bucked your hips up to grind yourself against her while she came, her nails digging into your skin as she tensed up. Eyes screwed shut, face sweaty, she still looked as hot as ever.

Ellie's expression and piteous moans pushed you toward your peak, your back arching off the bed as you practically gasped for air. Ellie continued to grind down on you, despite seeming slightly overstimulated from her legs twitching non-stop.

"Fuck, f-fuck," you managed to utter in between breaths, your eyes feeling heavier than normal. Your body felt tingly, your chest heaving as Ellie slowed her pace.

Little did you know, Ellie didn't plan on stopping any time soon.

a/n: if you made it this far, thank you for reading! feel free to send requests and/or feedback, everything is appreciated! ೃ⁀➷

[base0h]

Yo I got this idea from your pickle fic you did a couple months ago.

Monster trio,law and kidd super gluing a pickle jar and ask their s/o to open it and to their surprise their s/o opens it without any problems

I love your crack fics so much

Please and ty

a/n - I’m so glad you like my humor because sometimes I feel like I’m so unfunny 😂💜 oml kidd would break the jar (also I can’t fit all of the characters so I had to omit Sanji 😭😭)

Warnings ⚠️ - I bully Kidd, crack, g/n reader

- Bro thought that maybe he could troll you back since he couldn’t open the pickle jar a couple days ago (he’s still depressed, so no one talks about it) y’all just pretend it never happened

- zoro: hah! Remember that time when you couldn’t open the-

- everyone: SHUT THE FUCK UP.

- luffy: huh?

- poor zoro 💀 he didn’t know he wasn’t supposed to talk about it since they left him at the previous island

- He was all tightening the pickle jar with the glue, giggling and kicking his feet just imagining you not being able to open it like him, so you’d be embarrassed like him. (He’s evil, beware)

- he skipped over to you and handed you a pickle jar, “Hey y/n, can you open it for me while I go grab something to eat?”

- you nodded, grabbing the pickle jar and opening it with ease. Huh, that’s weird, why would Luffy ask you to open it?

- he had such a big mischievous grin when he came back and then when he saw the pickle jar sitting next to you, the cap right next to it, oml he freaked out

- “HUH? HOW DID YOU OPEN IT-?!”

- “What do you mean? It was super loose.”

- ….

- nah he’s dead now watch him go sob in the corner

- man was sobbing for about an hour or two before Sanji was able to feed him some meat to make him stop crying. Has ptsd with pickle jars now- and you felt bad so you gave him a jar for him to open (you could’ve opened it but you wanted to make him feel tough and strong 💜💜)

- “Luffy, I just can’t open this thing, can you open it?”

- The way his eyes lit up and he just RAN to help you, “MHM! Sure!”

- opened it without a problem and puffed his chest out, crossing his arms, “Shishishi~ I’m strong!!!!”

- “You’re the strongest captain ever! King of the pirates! Roger wishes he was you!!!” -you

- He was giggling, flexing his muscles and all lmfao

- man Luffy is lucky to have you as his personal best cheerleader 💜💜😭

- oh nah, the prank you did on him did not end well 💀 man literally blew up and poor killer had to just sit there in the midst of his explosion (his mental health was harmed in the process of this)

- things chilled out after you managed to give him a hug and some cuddles and coaching him through calming breaths (he does yoga to relax you can’t convince me otherwise)

- Kidd the yogi 💀💀💀

- So he decided that it’d be absolutely hilarious to do the same pickle jar prank on you bec he’s an asshole and a dumbass

- Idk how he did it, but he spent all night formulating and researching which glue was the best until he just decided to weld it shut

- “Kidd what are you doing?” -killer

- “Go to bed killer.”

- stfu Kidd don’t be mean to your best friend 💀

- fast forward to the time of the prank, he handed you the jar with a literal shit eating grin on his face, bro could not stop giggling (sounds like a fucking clown. And I don’t mean in a good way.)

- “Why are you giggling..?” -you

- “No reason >:)”

- You opened it, continuing to watch your show on the tv, handing it back to him. There was a moment of silence that lasted about 5 minutes. He was not moving, blinking, nor breathing for that matter. Killer walked by the room, and took a picture before walking away 💀

- man just started yelling outta nowhere, scaring the literal shit out of you

- “WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!” -Kidd

- “WHAT THE FUCK KIDD?!” -you

- “HOW DID YOU FUCKING OPEN IT?”

- “IT WAS FUCKING LOOSE.”

- “WHAT DO YOU MEAN I WELDED THE FUCKIN THING SHUT!”

- “…..”

- “Why the fuck did you weld it shut you dumbass?” -you

- he beat you up (correction) you beat him up for even trying to beat you up

- he didn’t seem that affected by your prank earlier but trust me, he’s crying on the inside, praying to corazon and asking: why tf am I so fucking weak

- after you told him it was just a joke he was pretty mad and ignored you for about a day (before he just couldn’t ignore the love of his life anymore😂)

- but yeah lesson learned, don’t do it again

- well he thought it’d be funny to do it to you since it made him so irritated (he will not admit that and will tell you that Bepo made him do it or something like that)

- the hardest part for him was asking you for help because anytime he does you get all smirky and say: “ooooo you need my help??? 😏”

- “never mind I don’t.”

- “NO- IM SORRY ILL HELP!”

- so yeah he was a bit nervous about asking you- but he had to do it lmao

- “Y/n-ya, can you open this for me?”

- “Sure.”

- you literally opened it in seconds, you didn’t even struggle.

what the fuck?

- “Y/n. How did you open that?..”

- “It was loose, did you loosen it?”

- “…….I’m gonna go to bed now.”

- “it’s 2pm!”

- “I’m. Going. To. Bed.”

- went straight to his computer to look up

- “Is my s/o a demon?”

- “what is the strength level for opening glued shut pickle jar”

- “911 marine hq”

- “counseling hotline”

- “can glue expire?”

- “am I weak?”

- Zoro was still pretty mad that he couldn’t open the jar last time, so he’s added, “opening pickle jars for y/n, 20 reps, 2 sets, give pickles to Luffy.”

- his workout page looks like a Barbie notebook you cannot tell me otherwise

- everything is pink and neon green 💀

- anyway, mayyyyybe Luffy convinced him to do the same prank on you because Luffy kept laughing at him about it, poor moss head’s self esteem was a bit low now 😭

- So he grabbed a jar, glued the damn thing shut and went over to you (took a while because he could not find you)

- “hey y/n. Can you open this for me? I’m gonna go train.”

- “Sure.”

- he hid behind the corner, watching as you took the jar and paused, continuing to read your book before opening it with ease, putting it back on the table next to you

- man was flabbergasted.

- how the actual fuck did you do that?????

- “Zoro??? What do you want me to do with the jar?!” -you

- His plan to hide out behind the corner was ruined the moment Luffy came over and fucking said hello to him

- “Oh hey zoro!! Whatcha doin?”

- “SHUT UP!”

- “huh?”

- You turned around to see Zoro trying to shut up poor Luffy who literally wanted to just say hi 😭

- “Zoro what are you doing?? I opened the jar, is it for Sanji’s meal?”

- “….Yeah just- give it to him.”

- he looked sad, it was painful for your heart

- imagine getting stabbed, then reading something sad, listening to sad music, and then realizing. You’re sad.

- that is what this felt like

- you tried your best to comfort him (even though you didn’t know why he was sad) so you watched him train and you sat on his back while he did pushups. Seemed to make the poor guy feel better, but you still didn’t know why he was so sad in the first place :’)

a/n - poor zoro

[chronicdisasterwrites]

these morons of jujutsu high

pairing: gojo satoru, geto suguru, shoko ieiri and fem!reader

genre + warnings: - this is NOT a poly fic. they’re all just vvv good friends. nanami and haibara were mentioned. mentions of blood, death and general jujutsu kaisen TW stuff. smoking, the word “goddamned” is mentioned. gojo being an idiot lmfao.

overall FLUFF !!

word count: 1219

authors note: so this is just a cute, heartfelt piece about the jjk troublemakers including and reader. i was thinking of making this the intro of a potential series but ✨ let’s see ✨

enjoyyyy <3

Is this really my life?

A question that always lingers in your mind.

Being a jujutsu sorcerer was no walk in the park. Death was a regular occurrence in your line of work. Deaths you anticipated, deaths you caused, deaths of friends, and even deaths of curses. None of them are ever easy to deal with. Nothing about this goddamned job is easy.

The smell of blood is as common to you as the smell of antiseptics is to a doctor. The sound of a curse evaporating into nothingness is ingrained in your brain as the sound of a child's first laughter is ingrained in the minds of their parents. Your hands are used to the touch of the cold steel of your weapons as a guitarist is used to the wood of their guitar.

This is your life. Your weapons are your instruments and the world is your stage. The only difference is, you have the blood of the crowd on your hands every. single. day. The blood of curses, the blood of humans, the blood of your comrades, and the blood of your own body.

How could it be that this life; so full of hurt, pain, despair, regret, fear, loneliness, anxiety, and depression, can also have so much happiness, love, excitement, companionship, adventure, humor, and serenity? That’s life, you suppose. But how can a life like yours have so much love alongside such hatred?

Your friends are the reason, you suppose.

These morons of Jujutsu High.

They feel the same emotions as deeply as you do. They have all felt loss, betrayal, grief, and death as much as you have.

Gojo Satoru had basically been raised as a trophy or a high-value product kept in perfect condition for the world to gawk at with wide eyes and ulterior motives. With the weight of the responsibility of being ‘Strongest’ hanging over his shoulders and daggers and spears pointed at him from every direction, he never had the chance to be a mere child. Which is what he was. Just a child. From birth to the present day, he has had eyes on him with the neon sign labeled ‘Strongest Sorcerer Ever’ blinking over his head. Always on his guard, being wary of who to trust. Not a moment to be a child. Not a moment to be a teenager and certainly not a moment to be an independent adult, free to choose who to love or what to do in life. He only has one thing to do. One obligation he has had since birth. Be the strongest. Throughout the heavens and the earth, he alone is the honored one.

It's a pretty lonely role for one person to bear.

Geto Suguru has kind eyes, a simple smile, and an extremely feared cursed technique; but what that smile and easygoing personality covers is his heart burdened with the horrors he has had to face in his life. He too, was born with the responsibility of using his cursed technique to help people. Born with the ability to absorb curses and later use them as he so desires. Living every day just killing and absorbing something that tastes like a rag covered in vomit and shit. Having to force your oesophagus to open up and force your mind to think of something more delicious whilst absorbing the thing you killed a few minutes ago is all second nature to Geto Suguru. Doesn’t mean it ever gets easier. But the smile comes easily to him and his voice stays soft and stable as his words soothe even those who hate him.

Because Geto Suguru wants to help those who are weak, and he would swallow all the curses necessary in order to do so.

Shoko Ieiri is the epitome of genius. Since she was a child she knew fully how to use the reversed curse technique; the ability to heal oneself and others, a technique even the strongest and most experienced jujutsu sorcerers have trouble mastering. Being so valuable means she has to stay in a lot, or go to missions alone a lot. She doesn’t get to choose missions, doesn’t get to accompany her friends to even ‘potentially’ dangerous locations. Being so valuable, she is the first person every jujutsu sorcerer goes to for healing and rejuvenation. Which also means she has to see a lot of her comrades lie on the steel bed, lifeless and cold and limp. She is the one who has to patch them up and she is the one who has to cut them open. Dealing with death and the aftermath is her job.

That's a lot of death for two eyes to see and two hands to explore.

Meeting them, knowing them, and growing to love them is the most rewarding experience your roller coaster of a life has had to offer by far. Checking out every single cafe Japan has to offer, milking Satoru of all his wealth by going out to eat and Satoru eating the most (ironically), pissing off Yaga-Sensei, celebrating birthdays, arguing and then making up with actions instead of verbal apologies, being the loudest group in every train station, smoke breaks with Shoko and Suguru while hiding away from Satoru, spending sleepless nights under the stars with Satoru, teasing Nanami and Haibara for acting like a 50-year-old married couple, fighting curses and always having each other’s backs. This was your family. However dysfunctional and however small.

So now, sitting in the classroom watching Suguru and Satoru bicker about who knows what this time, with Shoko sitting next to you fiddling around with Satoru’s sunglasses making faces and terrible impressions, bathed in the golden rays flooding the room through the windows as the sun goes down, you ponder the question; is this really your life?

You hear your name being called and the train of thought comes to a halt, as you look up to find honey-gold eyes staring back at you.

“What’re you thinking about so hard?” Suguru asks with his soft eyes and an even softer smile.

“She’s obviously thinking about how right I am and how wrong you are, Suguru,” Satoru interjects with his usual cocky smile and teasing lilt to his voice.

“Yeah, she definitely thinks a seal can beat a hippo in a fight to the death,” Shoko quips with unimpressed eyes and an obviously sarcastic smile.

Satoru slaps his hand on the desk so loudly that the sound reverberates throughout the entire floor you’re on, “HAH! Thank you Shoko, exactly what I’m saying. Of course I’m right.”

He wears an accomplished smile as the sarcasm completely flies over his stupid head.

“Gojo… I was joking. You’re obviously wrong.”

You can almost hear something crack in his head. The sound of disappointment.

“HEY just think about it okay? So a seal-“

As a new chapter of bickering begins between Shoko and Satoru, Suguru nudges your shoulder with a quirk of his eyebrows, silently repeating his previous question.

You look at him, look back at Satoru and Shoko and shake your head with a content smile and a huff of laughter, “Just thinking about life, I guess.”

With a hum and a smile Suguru relaxes on your other side as you both turn your attention to the ongoing argument unravelling before you.

Yeah. This really is my life.

[kyuummie]

read about my sons NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!’!

recently ive taken it upon myself to turn glitterduo (argbur and incelbur/simpbur) into my ocs, allen (he him) and salem (he she they) after realizing how much i was attached to them and might go as far as reclaiming even more relevant burs

theyre kind of like a gag anime with a broad plot that has only 50% to do with the actual episode youre watching. They just kind of exist and go through day to day things together because theyre buds. maybe you will like them too if you liked bur sonas…i just wanted to share something that gave me joy. theyre like if triple baka was double baka mesmerizer if it was awesome

who should be the third baka or the yellow one that wasnt in mesmerizer vote down below /hj

more random stuff about them under the cut

no salem is not an incel. Thought i should preface that LMFAO (i still think its crazy how much the fandom (using that term lightly cause of how fan driven the concept of burs were) “woobified” incelbur/simpbur seeing how much of a creep he apparently is. its ok i was a part of it and i never do anything wrong ^_^)

i originally had a really hard time trying to figure out a plotline for these two, my first draft “salmon alley” was about them being platonic soulmates and having to figure out how to live together. one, i didnt like the name cause it sounded to much like salmonella. Second, i didnt really know where to go with the soulmate thing and i didnt even know if i wanted to have a story for them

then, i wanted to go the unconventional route and make them little magical girls (“1-chance duet”) with the point of them being tied together as two magical girls who were destined to save, well, mentally unstable people 😭, before they could save themselves, and i gave salem a bunny hood which is where his current hat comes from

i might use some of this as au ideas or their general “plot”. but i kind of like them just being there and only serving as comfort and a source of joy? these two just Happened to both be my faves and also be created by some douche. so, if you were also a bur sona liker, youre like a sleeper agent 🕵️ maybe theyll go ghost hunting and find blue (gb). Travel back in time to find an old timey president at a bar (lmanbr). go a couple months forward to find him depressed, and deceased the next day (pogbr). maybe theyll be taken by the mad scientist who sent them back in time(malpractice). maybe theyll meet god himself (100p??). Hey allen why do all these guys look vaguely like us and all have brown shoulder length hair

i remember i had my designs for og glitterduo memorized like muscle memory, i have no idea how i got over them so quickly but when i was reminded of them i couldnt keep the demons inside…i drew arg all the time in class and i love edgy characters so he was my perfect little guy. i might still refer to them (especially allen) as arg/incel/simp. Maybe this is another 2 week phase but i love them

also, i dont know what to call their “series”. i have two in mind: amygdala’s resonance/just amygdala, or hatena (as in question mark) but i think amygdala seems way too dark and edgy for what im thinking

[mochees]

— two tortured souls

dazai osamu x chuuya nakahara | wc: 3k | crossposted to ao3

TAGS: drabble, angst, depression, post-corruption ability use, soft/comfort, generally low mental health mentions, chuuya has a BATH, use of petnames for teasing.

A/N: hihi!!! long time no write!!! remember when i dropped the most depraved, disgusting, self indulgent eremin fic ever and then dropped off the face of the earth with empty promises? me neither, moving on! anyway. been wanting to get back into writing lately but yknow..... the undergrad life........ but i find myself with too much time now that the semester is over so have a drabble thing i wrote a year ago and then just never posted lmfao. it was supposed to be longer but i just couldn't get the ending right so i left it kind of open i guess? anyway skk is real to me

Willingly sacrificing your autonomy is so much more than physically exhausting. Corruption leaves Chuuya feeling truly empty and insignificant. It makes him feel as though he really is just a vessel for something else. An empty, fleshy shell that doesn’t even belong to him. Unlike the physical exhaustion, however, the feeling lingers. It hangs around like a morning fog, obscuring everything as far as he can see. It’s disorienting and restrictive. Most of all, it’s loud. The voices that dwell in the fog are so loud, much louder than anything Chuuya has ever heard, and they echo. They echo, bouncing off of each other and amplifying every emotion, every word, every moment of despair.

Chuuya can’t remember how many days have passed since he used corruption. At least two, maybe even three. The fog is so thick that days eventually just blur together, and time turns into molasses. Resigning himself to a night or two in darkness, he tucks his knees against his chest and covers his ears with his arms, attempting to block out as much of the noise as possible. 

But you can’t silence your own guilt. 

It was pitch black in the house by the time Dazai arrived, which was unusual, but he figured that Chuuya was either tucked in and fast asleep already or strewn across some surface with a movie.

“Chuuya ~,” he sang. “I’m back ~!” Concern grew on Dazai’s face when the routine groan of usually completely false annoyance didn’t sound. He counted all the hats in the closet as he tucked his own clothing away and muttered to no one in particular, “he’s definitely here…”

The detective took a few steps before he sounded again, “Chuuya? Where are you?” The absence of an answer worried him further. No matter how tired, angry, or drunk Chuuya was, he always made a point of greeting his partner as unenthusiastically as he could.

Dazai made his way through the house, checking a few rooms before he found Chuuya. Scrunched up in the far corner of the bedroom, his faint form was desperately trying to be swallowed by darkness. Even for someone who consistently allowed themselves to actually be swallowed by the darkness, seeing Chuuya in such distress and anguish was deeply unsettling for Dazai. Chuuya always surrounded himself with people, and for him to look so alone–

Dazai shook off his thoughts and made his way over to the man, crouching low a few feet away.

“…uuya? Chuuya?” When he didn’t respond, Dazai raised his volume a fraction.

“Are you alright?” Chuuya jumped a little, unaware that someone had crossed into his world of anguish.

Dazai chuckled. He couldn’t help but find it a little humourous; it’s not often he was able to get the jump on him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

“Dazai?” Chuuya’s voice was hoarse and distant, and Dazai immediately steeled himself.

“Are you– what happened?”

The executive didn’t answer. He just stared—not through Dazai or at anything; he just looked ahead with no purpose. Chuuya could hear something but could not decipher the sounds for the life of him. He only realized they were words when he noticed Dazai’s mouth moving.

There was nothing about Chuuya's demeanour that told Dazai he was conscious. But he also wasn't unconscious. God knows Dazai is all too familiar with Chuuya's unconscious mind, and this wasn't it. There was no light in his eyes, but they weren't lifeless. It was as if Chuuya had trapped himself in his own body, caught between two states of being. He didn't know if Chuuya could even process what he was saying in this state, but he also didn't want to stop. Perhaps Dazai believed in a silly idea that the sound waves might reach him, that they would guide him through whatever limbo he was in. 

Once he finished, Dazai rose from his place on the floor and made his way to the bedroom door. Chuuya could see him leaving, but he couldn’t hear his footsteps. All he could focus on was the voices getting louder again, and the second that Dazai was out that door they started to echo again. Unwilling to fight them, Chuuya lowered his head back down and let the pressure build in his chest and ache his muscles.

Physically, the pain was no different from a hard day's work, but emotionally, it was excruciating. Every breath was hell. Each inhale wound a cord up tightly, but breathing out did nothing to release it. All of the fibres in Chuuya's body felt like they would snap and finally grant him a moment's release, maybe even exhaust him enough to sleep, but they didn't. Instead, they grew tighter and tighter, digging into every strand until it inevitably cut him into a million little pieces.

When Dazai returned, he was greeted with a sight more devastating than before. Tension was emanating from Chuuya like heat from a grill, and he looked positively hopeless.

“Chuuya,” Dazai’s voice was uncharacteristically soft—unfitting, really—but he hoped it might help Chuuya focus. “Will you come with me?” He waited a few moments, giving the redhead extra time to process.

To Chuuya, the sounds outside his head would die before they could fully reach him. The echo was good at drowning everything out like that. 

But luckily, Dazai always did have a talent for evading death.

“You don’t have to do anything, I promise. I’ll–” He hesitated. How can you promise to take care of someone else when you’ve never been able to care for yourself?

“–I’ll help you. Please, Chuuya. If you stay here, it’s not going to get any better.”

Chuuya Nakahara knows that he is right. Of anyone, Osamu Dazai would know, wouldn’t he? It takes him a little while, but with a few shaky breaths and silent tears, he lifts his head and places his hand in the one outstretched before him. This won't fix him, but he has to admit that when Dazai rubs his thumb along his skin, it releases some of the tension in his shoulders. Dazai leans forward and slowly reaches for Chuuya’s other hand, stiff from how tight he was grasping onto his other arm.

“Okay, up we go.” Wasting no time to get Chuuya out of the isolation he'd built for himself, Dazai does his best to support as much of his weight as he can while holding his hands. He doesn’t know how long Chuuya had been sitting there, but he reckons his legs have probably gone numb. As if on cue, Chuuya almost falls right back down before Dazai has a hand on his waist.

“Careful.”

Chuuya's eyes are red and puffy, and his agony has left trails down his cheeks. Chuuya has always been beautiful to Dazai, stealing heartfelt glances when the former isn't looking. But seeing him like this is, in a way, even more breathtaking to Dazai. It means that after all these years of being so sick of each other's mere existence that Chuuya, his rival, his partner, trusts Dazai enough to shatter before him completely. Bringing Chuuya's hand up to his mouth, he lets his lips linger for a few moments as they wait for Chuuya's legs to regain feeling.

Once Chuuya is stable, he lets go of the shorter man’s waist and leads him with one hand, still petting his thumb across the freezing expanse of his hand.

Chuuya doesn’t know what his partner has been doing, or maybe he does. He can’t remember right now; he doesn’t want to. Wherever Dazai is taking him, it takes no longer than twenty seconds, but he feels like a stranger in his own home, wading through the thickest pool of molasses. He can see a straight hallway ahead of him, but it seems like an endless maze of twists and turns. One foot in front of the other, he tries to tell himself, but it’s hard to tell your feet what to do when you feel like a stranger in your own body to. He can feel his face growing wetter as they arrive at their destination. However, in a brief moment of relief, he realizes that they're not tears but steam.

For the time that he had disappeared past the threshold, Dazai had run Chuuya a hot bath and made him something simple to eat. Knowing all too well what feeling this way does to one’s motivation and desire. But honestly, the last thing Chuuya wants to do right now is to bathe. It’s far too much work, and he’d rather be back in the dark in the corner or under a blanket. Even if it meant he’d be alone with his stupid fucking thoughts.

“I know it seems like a chore, but it will help, Chuuya.” Dazai’s familiarity with the muddied waters of one’s own psyche was currently vastly irritating. Chuuya knows that he’s right. He does, but even then, it’s still too much for him to handle right now.

Dazai takes Chuuya’s other hand back in his own. “Do you want me to stay?”

“I– I don’t know.” His voice sounded better to Dazai, the steam probably settling in his throat.

“It’s okay not to know, but I can’t stay here with you if you don’t know.”

Chuuya snaps his head a little at that, shooting his partner an exhausted expression. Dazai gives a slight smile at the motion and gives the others' hands, still in his own, a reassuring squeeze. Perhaps it’s a little morally wrong given the circumstances, but he thinks that he could have a little, tiny bit of fun with this.

“Would you like my help?” He asks again, and Chuuya nods his head before practically collapsing into his arms.

Oh, it is absolutely morally wrong, but he can’t help himself, so he softly teases the man. “Such a gentleman! Flirting with me before we spend the night in each other's company!”

That earns a tired groan from Chuuya who is not willing to put up with Dazai’s usual jeering, but also not unexpected of the brunette to choose the completely wrong time to make his jokes.

“I’m sorry, my darling.” He uses the pet name, knowing he’ll be able to get away with it tonight since Chuuya is too tired to fight him. He runs his fingers through red strands, waiting for Chuuya’s breathing to even out in his hold before moving his hands down to the hem of his shirt. Deft fingers slip underneath and rub small circles into the skin there.

“Is this okay?” He whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

Upon receiving a satisfied hum of approval, he lifts Chuuya’s shirt over his head and drops it onto the counter. Staying out of your head is hard when you’re alone. Knowing Chuuya has already surmised his partners' intentions of distracting him, gently, Dazai pulls him back into his chest and runs his nails down his back. Chuuya’s skin was already freezing before, so he can’t tell if his goosebumps are from chills, or from him. He hopes it’s the latter. After a few seconds, his movements shift into steady pressure trying to work out the tension that Chuuya had cultivated. When he feels Chuuya fall further into him, Dazai is pleased with his work already.

“Chuuya,” he presses harder when he finds a particularly knotty spot at the base of Chuuya’s neck. “Unless you want to get in with your pants on, you’ll have to take them off.”

This earns Dazai a particularly unimpressed look when Chuuya pushes off his chest.

“What?”

Chuuya continues to stare.

“Did you want me to do it for you?”

Well, Chuuya supposes that Dazai can’t help the fact that he is an idiot. After all, he did promise to help. He rolls his eyes and lets out a particularly rumbly sigh, and drops his pants himself, kicking them to the side.

“So forward of you~” teases Dazai.

Turning towards the tub, Chuuya grumbles. “I hate you.”

Dazai grins again. Even if he still feels worse than shit, he’s glad to see Chuuya with a little bit of his fire again. “I know you do. Here, let me help.”

Holding onto Chuuya’s forearm, Dazai helps him settle into the bath. Chuuya resumes his form from earlier in the night, but much more open. His arms are propped on top of his knees, hands hanging down, and fingers just dipping into the water. Dropping his head in between his shoulders as the heat surrounds his aching body, blue eyes fall shut. Then, he releases a deep breath he didn’t even realize he was holding in. Dazai has his arm across the edge of the tub, resting his head with eyes full of admiration. With Chuuya completely bare in front of him, he traces the flow of his body with his eyes. Stopping often to archive all the little things he loves. Soft red hair that he can't help but play with. Shoulders that he's cried on. The gentleness of his otherwise blood-soaked hands. Even the scars littered across his skin, Dazai loves. They look much better on Chuuya than on him. He reaches out and just barely grazes the sides of Chuuya’s fingers above the water.

“What are you so happy about?”

Dazai hums in response, and Chuuya blows a ripple on the water. They spend a while like this—still, just next to each other, the only sound being an occasional jittery breath.

Dazai interrupts the silence by dipping his fingers into the water and letting the droplets roll off onto Chuuya’s shoulder. 

“Feeling better?”

Chuuya wiggles his fingers in the water, trying to find an answer below the surface.  

“C’mere, and turn around.”

Chuuya turns his head, resting it along his arm and staring the man down.Dazai can read it in his eyes: For what. 

“You’re still tense. So come here.” He presses his finger on the edge of the tub. “I didn’t get to finish getting all the knots out.”

Dazai is not as good at hiding his intentions from Chuuya as he thinks he can be. “You just want to play with my hair.” 

Dazai knows this. He feigns being insulted anyway, throwing his hands into the air. “And so what if I do? Is that a crime? Is it wrong of me to want t–”

“You’re real insufferable, y’know.” Chuuya turns his back to the side of the bathtub.

Dazai smiles sweetly. He likes that so much of their relationship can be left unsaid. Sure, sometimes it probably shouldn’t be unsaid, but it’s fine. Dazai is happy. “It’s why we work so well together.” 

He gets to work on dissipating the rest of the fear and anger in Chuuya’s bones, occasionally and very intentionally, getting sidetracked and twirling a lock of hair around his fingers. At the mercy of Dazai's frighteningly deft hands, a particular spot just above Chuuya's shoulder blade earns Dazai a groan—one he oh so graciously accepts. Working lithe fingers around it, Chuuya leans his head back onto Dazai as the little ball of stress is pulled apart, strand by strand. 

Chuuya's neck is deliciously bared, and Dazai is an opportunistic man. He trails kisses up to just below red lashes, slow and endearing. He continues massaging throughout, placing a final one on fluttering eyes before dragging his lips back down to Chuuya’s ear. 

“The water’s getting cool, my love. You should really get out soon.” Dazai is very pleased with himself when Chuuya shudders.   (He is an opportunistic man, after all, and it truly is such a wonderful opportunity to be the most annoying man on the planet.) He lets his mouth fall down to Chuuya’s shoulder, resting for a moment and trying very hard to hold back the biggest, dopiest grin. Of course, Chuuya can tell. He can sense the smallest shifts in Dazai's behaviour. Although, this time he could tell by just feeling Dazai's facial muscles straining against his shoulder. But Dazai doesn't need to know that. 

 "...Shut up. Get me a towel." Chuuya does a very bad job of hiding the blush on his cheeks. 

Dazai just smiles at his partner, he can't see, but it's a smile full of fondness. One with admiration, love, and as much as he'd rather die than admit it, respect too. Letting someone see you have a complete breakdown, watching as the industrial strength glue you've used to keep yourself from falling apart rapidly starts to degrade, and still trusting that they won't think any differently of or diminish you, takes so much courage. It takes so much trust to rely on someone, even someone you love, to help you set the pieces back together. 

That's something Dazai has never been able to do. He can't let go of that vulnerability, and he cannot have it used against him. Of course, deep down, Dazai knows that Chuuya would never do that to him, but it's hard to turn off those thoughts. It's hard to think of yourself as worth loving and caring for when you have never loved or cared for yourself. 

"Hey, are you okay?" The smile on Dazai's face is forlorn. Realizing that Chuuya is reading him like a book Dazai masterfully shifts his expression, changing the atmosphere around him. This is not about him, and he shouldn't be making it so. 

"I'm just peachy, Chibi!” Chuuya doesn't press any further.

Dazai wraps the towel around him, pulling at the ends to bring his partner closer. Taking a second to look over Chuuya, he notes that his eyes are no longer red and puffy, and his skin has a sheen from the moisture in the air. He truly is the most breathtaking person Dazai has ever had the displeasure of meeting. 

With Chuuya at his chest, he leans down and kisses the man. It's needy, in a way. Soft and tender, but full of so much want, so much need. Like if he couldn't be close to Chuuya anymore, he would simply explode. Dazai doesn't know how to express it though. How he would articulate these thoughts in a way that feels right, so he settles for something simple. Maybe it's not as meaningful, but he trusts that Chuuya understands anyway. 

[fraternum-momentum]

killing stalking ramble belowww

!! tws for mentions of sa/rape, murder, abuse, etc. !!

(REALLY REALLY long, around 2k~ words. just be warned. also tmi in some parts.)

THIS IS NOT AN ANALYSIS !!!!! it def gets analytical in some parts, but i feel like i would need to reread ks a couple of times for me to feel confident enough to do a full blown analysis for it. these are just my thoughts that i want to get out of my head. really rambly for the most part, and separated into sections mostly for my convenience buy also to get my thoughts a little more organized.

what do i think about it?

it's great ! i really love the more thriller-ey aspects of it, esp when seungbae was investigating the whole thing. how he's trying to piece together everything and switching in between pov's was so so cool. love love love how extremely tense everything is, like ooo is he gonna get caught? is he gonna get killed?

ACAB but seungbae is the only police officer i'll salute to 🫡 (bc he's not real LMFAO)(and also he hates the police despite being one so)

season 1 is a great intro and it rlly gets u hooked, rlly went in super hard with the whole torture stuff. came in guns blazing n stuff. rlly rlly intense. the whole thing with jieun is just so sad man,,,,,,, like she was rude and all and she was an kind of an asshole to bum but i don't think she deserves to die over that 😭,,,,

there's also already a lot of foreshadowing and future callbacks planted into it. it makes me wonder how much planning went into the story :0 !! even early on it's pretty clear that sangwoo sees his mum in yoonbum, that's why he kept taking care of him after abusing him. he said ‘i love you’ out of the blue and bum thought he was talking to him and sangwoo replied ‘i was talking to my mom’. i mean, it's literally spelled out by the author in one of the qna's. i will be amazed if u didn't catch that somehow.

anyw season 2 is my fav because of reasons stated above. the tension is rlly great. when seungbae finally trespassed which led to the confrontation at the basement scene to when they were doing the interrogation was rlly rlly good. it shows how competent of a manipulator and a quick thinker sangwoo is. throughout it my heart was beating so fast i was so nervous JQHSHQ

seungbae rlly tried to pull through but unfortunately the people didn't believe him so woo and bum got away SCOT FREE,,,,,,, which caused seungbae to lash out on woo, then got laid off. DUDEEE i was so saddddddd, i mean i saw there were like 40 eps left so i knew he wasnt going to succeed but STILLLL i was cheering for him ykkk?

ep 34.

kinda tmi and i hope to fucking god it's not weird or anything but i can see myself in yoonbum.

LISTEN ok. not like the perverted stalker aspects. more of the whole jwhhr fuckk idk how to describe it without sounding pathetic or whatever but a while ago my brother and i had a talk about being careful with people bc of how bad my whole self esteem is and how easily i would be to manipulate and just how depressing my whole demeanor was or whatever and this scene in ep 34 where yoonbum was being interrogated by seungbae kind of left me a deep impression on me

i've def have asked myself something similar to this, idk maybe had talked to someone abt it when i was drunk as shit. but it i kind of started wondering if i would do that in his position. if i don't get any better, could i end up like him? eeeeeqjdb idkk its something i don't want to dwell on much but it's been at the back of my head ever since. i don't know. it's scary.

season 3 is more focused on characterization and developing the "relationship" between bum and woo. vv sangwoo centric. it deals with his past trauma and how it affected him. seeing how his childhood was initially and then the eventual reveal as to what really was happening in those scenes was so good. kind of shows how you never truly know what's happening behind closed doors. and it shows the extent of the abuse, how unstable his mother was, and how emotionally manipulative she was to sangwoo when he was a kid. then her eventual death in which she managed to gaslight him into thinking he killed her. at least, i think its implied that she drove the knife into her neck. and now, even when she's gone, her presence lingers and haunts him. quite literally too because its eventually revealed that her corpse was INSIDE THE FUCKING HOUSE.

i love how the dynamic turned from a dependency to a codependency. it's like watching a fire slowly spiral out and it becoming an huge shitstorm. it's interesting seeing that sangwoo needs bum too. right after he accidentally called bum 'mom' while they were having sex, that's probably the lowest he's been in, even begging yoonbum to not go and stay with him at home bc he's been so paranoid lately. even now i'm still not sure if bum was actually fucking the girl or if it was all a figment of woo's hallucinations.

there's a lot of particular scenes that i want to dedicate a small paragraph to but i don't want to make this longer that it alr is qkdh they're not anything life changing plus the implications are p clear anyway so,,

ending is insane. at first, i was kind of glad that bum seemed to be healing. like he was getting therapy, there was a person who was taking care of him, seungbae seems to be monitoring him regularly. i mean, he was still paranoid and stuff about being caught as an acomplice but he was fine for the most part. well, at least that was i thought until he started asking where sangwoo was and i kinda went oh no,,,

idkkkkk is it bad that i kind of felt bad for bum when he didn't get to see sangwoo for the last time? i mean, i want him to just move on with everything and heal but it was pretty clear he was still vv attached to woo so idkkkkk?? maybe its just me needing to have some closure or something? i was so sad that yoonbum didn't even get the chance to be truly happy in his life. even in his happiest moments with sangwoo, it was all just a skewed perception of love.

yk even if seungbae didn't go to woo's house one last time for that final confrontation, i feel like their codependent relationship would go to shit either way. but ahh,,,,,, bum deserved so much better,,,

seungbae my goat 🫡

small part abt him bc he's my fav

seungbae is interesting,,,, bc he def has violent tendencies much like sangwoo. i.e. lashing out at woo, wacking a guy out with a scanner (who, luckily, turned out to be a wanted criminal), hitting the guy who killed his father with a the golf club, dreaming and fantasizing about violently killing that said murderer multiple times, and probably more that i can't remember.. maybe a ‘two sides of the same coin’ kind of situation??? idkk

there's literally a part where seungbae said so himself that he and sangwoo were similar, immediately following it by saying that it was a dangerous thought. i think having a stable figure in his life (chief officer) helped him a lot. if he didn't have him, i feel like he could've easily ended up like sangwoo. all around green flag tho :3

my complicated feelings abt it:

idkkkkkkkkkkkkk like this is a thriller and it depicts a clearly abusive relationship but the fact that it feels so fanservicey to me feels so wrong to me ???????? like shit. i only started reading it bc i thought 'oh wasn't this bl or something? i don't remember lol. but sangwoo was hot, i should go read it' and proceeded to get my ass blasted with this is absolutely insane.

ok i'm gonna be completely honest i've always hated fanservice, so it's a completely biased take from me. like idkk it ruins the vibe of a scene. can't a good show just be a good show without all the panty shots and the weird ass angles?????? like okay, yeah, i literally draw porn but that doesnt mean i want porn/sexual in everything all the time.

like i get it. the sexual aspect of this is a necessary and integral thing. it's clearly there to depict that there's an imbalance of power. how sangwoo being on top feels more in control whereas when he's in a position of submission he gets angry or scared (a trauma response) and it's another aspect of abuse that a lot of characters experienced and it's all shown. but i think my issue is, when its with woo and bum there's like certain part to it where i'm just kinda like,,,,, you know that feeling when you feel like a sex scene in a movie is kind of going on for way too long? and ur just sitting there mildly uncomfortable by it and aughggyvh idkkk its weird,,,,,,, like should i keep watching or is this integral to the story???? am i going to miss any details or something anyone would say ?? and idk???????? like when bum or woo was sa'ed by adults they didn't depict it in such a,,,,,,, romantic?? light???? i'm not sure what to say but i feel like there's a difference in ambience and pacing and shit in a bunch of the scenes esp in season 3 but i guess it's bc they're in a 'relationship' ?????? idkk

in a way i can understand why they would present it like that ??? i'm probably reaching, but maybe it's to directly put the viewer in yoonbum's shoes and kind of see how sangwoo manipulates bum? like we as the viewer become victims ourselves of sangwoo's charms ????? maybe that's why it was psrticularly uncomfortable for me ??????????? dude idk,,,,

but like,, i've played btd/tpof before but i don't seem to have any problems with it, and that's literally torture porn or whatever but for some reason i draw the line at this apparently ????????

and i’ve thought about this really hard bc it was driving me nuts as to what the difference was. but maybe its bc it's kind of romanticizing it ??????????????? tbh i'm still not entirely sure. eh whatever i don't want to make it a big problem.

oh but fray, you draw noncon, dubcon, and gore ! arent you fetishizing it as well ? how is that any different ?

(this part is kind of tmi too) i think there's a fundamental difference between what i'm doing and having a cnc kink and depicting actual sa in a story.

no one is saying sa is not bad. for some people it's how they deal with the trauma they endured and for others its simply just a fantasy. cnc, in a real life setting, both parties are consenting and recognize that it's all just roleplay, if anything is out of the line you can opt out of it with a safeword and it's CRUCIAL that this safe word is respected. in a game like for example, dol, you can manipulate it into however you like. there's also cheats where you can just remove encounters altogether irrc. you're the one in control of the narrative.

i've had rape fantasies before (i play dol, don't be so surprised) but that doesn't mean i want to be fucking assaulted when i go out at night. and idk maybe like in ks it depicts all the gruesome and tragic parts of being abused, whether it be emotionally, sexually, physically, etc. and that's why it feels wrong framing it in that manner ????

idk my views about it aren't completely black and white. dude idfk i'm not an expert in anything. at the end of the day i'm just some random person who read killing stalking and just has some thoughts about it. anyw that's all 👍

[anonzentimes]

how do people that dont immediately fall in love with nagitos character do it like chapter 1 he was so polite and nice i literally didnt wanna spend time with any other character, i caught on that nagito was responsible for SOMETHING before the first trial started and was genuenly so terrified he killed twogami cause i didnt want him to die, and then he had his breakdown and i was like yeah this is my favorite character in the entire series (i was still pissed at him for the rest of the trial lmfao

OH MY GOSH SAME!!! Like, everyone has a different experience, but as someone who loved him from day ONE I don't understand the experience of only eventually loving him lol. Even just people not loving his very existence and mannerisms is so different compared to me that I get confused! Finding him annoying sounds miserable I love him very much and not having him to hyper fixate on no, no, not having his impact on my life PERIOD would change my life drastically and I'd say for the worse. He's been so influential to so many parts of my life and continues to be such a fun brain worm consistently. I feel pity for those who can't experience the joy of his character and how happy he makes me, I know that there's no one with the exact impacts he's had on my life because he's so special to me.

At the time I saw Danganronpa 2 I was pretty depressed and every day felt the same, I was so miserable most of the time and was getting burnt out of life. I was loving Danganronpa though, I loved the first game and it gave me something to look forward to every day.

For Danganronpa 2 I had heard about Nagito, I knew he was popular but I didn't know why. I thought he'd be a major character so when he was just chill at first I was surprised. I was suspicious of him but that still didn't stop me from really liking him, my favorite from the first game was Makoto so his parallels and personality were really nice, fun, and interesting but I still was suspicious if there was more. When his breakdown happened my suspicion fell and instead of feeling conflicted and getting more suspicious it all made sense to me. He was so interesting and different, I loved everything about him and I wanted to understand him. It's kind of embarrassing but, it genuinely did help me at the time. After feeling as if every day felt the same in a weird helpless cycle my emotions about him were extreme enough that I loved that I was even feeling something which added to my love for him.

I saw the rest of Danganronpa 2 in 5 days because I was so invested and got a headache at Chapter 6, I cried at his death and it's the most I've cried at any specific media in recent years that I can remember lmao. I wanted to understand him more so I watched videos and read his wikis, I watched his free time events, I set him as all my profile pictures and wallpapers so I could have something that made me feel happy, I learned to draw him and his hair and he's all I wanted to draw which helped me improve, I joined the fandom early and met crucial people to my life before I finished the rest of the franchise because I loved him specifically so much, I got pinterest specifically so I could find more art of him, I read the komahina wiki just because I wanted to understand him more which led me to start shipping things that weren't strictly said to be canon, I discovered the term hyper fixations and realized I was neurodivergent because of him, like I could go on all day with the list of impacts on my life because of him but you get the point. He's still the most extreme hyper fixation I've ever experienced lmao. He's a special interest and I can say without a doubt that he still remains to be such a positive influence to my life. I'm grateful to experience such passion and happiness from something like him, haha! My love for his character STILL is helping my life even now by allowing me to practice articulating things about him, which has led to being able to get better at articulation in general, which has led to being better at english even having fun with it now and being less overwhelmed because I can express myself.

Oh my gosh I went on a yap sesh my bad LMAO!! But my point is, my experience with him is very specific and probably biased. But even so, I struggle to understand those who have such a different experience from me with him since I loved him from the start and my love only grew and has never stopped. I'm biased and I'm sure people have other interests that make them just as happy as he makes me, but I still feel sorry for those who don't experience what I do with him. But in the end one of the main beautiful things about media is subjectivity, so I'm okay being able to be so grateful for his existence and how it makes me feel.

Got a bit personal and sentimental with this since you struck something I was already thinking about when you sent this haha, sorry I said I agree in the longest way possible like it was a yapping content LMAO... thank you for your ask! <3

[ironladders]

so i had a thought about ashrah and syzoth and i really dont know how to feel about it so i want your input. and keep in mind i am still new to MK lore and dont understand the ins and outs of it like most other people do. but i read that in past timelines at least, demons of the netherrealm were dead bodies reanimated by quan chi. so i was wondering, how do you feel about the idea of ashrah having been syzoths wife in her past life, probably unbeknownst to her. does it make sense, the implications of it, etc.

hi sorry i was in figure drawing when i got this ask & that class lasts 6 hours 🫠 art school was a mistake

anyways: this is so good and yet evil oh my god??????? it probably wouldn't work in canon unless stuff got retconned, but the implications here are so interesting to me regardless and you could do so much stuff character-wise (especially for ashrah) with this concept.....

first off, don't worry about not knowing extensive details about mk lore. it's bound to be confusing for someone new to the franchise, and even then plenty of us who've been here for a while don't entirely know what's going on either. i had to look up half the shit i mention in this post just to make sure i'm not off by a bunch

syzoth would have the biggest mental breakdown ever if this were a thing. poor guy can't catch a break

this would be a lot for ashrah, if she were to find out or otherwise put the pieces together. i mean, her whole thing is wanting to be fully human, and yet in this idea, she's not aware that she once already was human. that would be absolutely wild and 100% turn her entire world upside-down if she were to ever find out that truth.

the angst in this idea would go crazy. I LOVE IT. i think that syzoth would be reluctant to get close in any way with ashrah (at least initially) because, even if he doesn't know about how some demons are dead people brought back to life, ashrah physically resembling + sounding like his dead wife would mess with his head SO much.

poor ashrah, too; she's trying to learn what it means to be human and make friends with all these new people, and everyone in the good-guys group seems to be willing to be open with her--except for syzoth. and she has zero clue why. of course, because of their similar pasts and common struggles, they'd probably be drawn to each other anyways, but it'd be 10x more depressing than in canon

i imagine in this concept, shang killed her and then gave her corpse to quan chi. i don't think shang tsung would've given syzoth's family the dignity of dying in the living forest, tbh, i personally believe he dragged them off somewhere far away to die (which is also how i imagine syzoth went so long without knowing they were dead in the first place. easier to keep him in the dark about his family's fate if he's not aware of where they are). alternatively, ashrah could be put in a similar boat to old-timeline hanzo, who was a vengeful spirit of the netherrealm after being killed by bi-han, and then continuously manipulated by quan chi. i guess she would have to be somehow turned from a spectre to a demon, but i'm sure they can figure it out with magic lmfao

you're sort of right about the reanimated/reincarnation thing, it just doesn't apply to every type of demon. (more lore explanation under the cut bc i rambled a lot and it got a bit long oops) (if you read up on all this already and this information is useless to you i sincerely apologize in advance)

the lots of different demon types in mortal kombat: imps, oni, the enenera, cambions, and other miscellaneous ones. iirc there was also gonna be another class called "elder demons" (like elder gods but not really???? i guess???) in an older game but that was scrapped.

there’s technically a difference between the oni and other demons, because quan chi in the old timeline was an oni before he turned into a demon after mastering sorcery. so i guess oni are like… lower than demons??? or something?????? i’m not actually sure what the difference is between the two tbh 😓

we know that the enenra are created from the souls of slain mortals, so they'd be an example of an undead person coming back as a demon, as mentioned in this very sad scenario. the only enenra that we've actually met in canon is smoke, who was explained to be one after dying as a child via his mk9 ending

it's really fucked up lol, some cult kidnapped & sacrificed him when he just a kid

so that would be one example of how in this au/scenario/thing, ashrah could've had a human life once and not be aware of it. this tracks pretty well with mk9 smoke not remembering his previous life or death, until his early memories came back to him after so long.

the only issue is that smoke was reborn as an enenra right after he was killed, and after he took out his revenge on the cultists, he woke back up in his human body with no memories of his previous life. so i assume this would apply to any other enenra: they die, come back and do their thing, then go back to their original bodies right where they died with no memories of their old lives. they don't minecraft respawn in the netherrealm, which is where ashrah is from. but if pre-death ashrah in this au was dragged to the netherrealm and then killed, then brought back as a demon that's further manipulated by quan chi's dark magic, i guess it could work?????

(speaking of the enenra: in one of his mk1 intros with ashrah, smoke mentions dreaming of the enenra. so either tomas already died in this new timeline & just isn't aware of it, OR he's gonna kick the bucket soon and come back as an enenra. either way, we should probably prepare his funeral in advance lmfao).

there have also been demons that aren’t enenra, but are still dead people reincarnated by quan chi, as you mentioned. they're really obscure characters -- i had to look them up to make sure i wasn't making this up in my head lmfao -- but in the show mortal kombat: conquest there's siann, mika, and sora. they're undead corpses of the netherrealm that were brought back to life as demons via quan chi's magic

they lived they served cunt they died

from my understanding (i haven't watched mk:c, i just read their wiki page) they were basically being forced to work for quan chi otherwise he threatened take away their living forms, which sucks. also mika might have a crush on quan chi….. for some reason???

the difference between these three and the enenra, though, is that they seem to actually be aware that they're undead lol. but maybe that's just because quan chi keeps threatening them with being corpses again if they don't follow his orders (again, haven't watched mk:c). who knows! their wiki page isn’t that long and doesn’t give me much info so i don’t have much to go off of 🤷🏻‍♂️

ashrah in mk1 does have a canonical demon type; she mentions that her and her sisters are cambions in an intro with kitana, hence how sareena can seamlessly change between her human-ish and demon form. i don’t thiiiink cambions are “reborn”/undead the same way the enenra would be? in irl folklore “cambion” is used to refer to either a changeling — which makes sense given sareena — or a demon-human hybrid. i really doubt ashrah’s the latter, though, so i suppose she just... spawned into existence as a cambion one day. or maybe she has demon parents running around somewhere. idk bro

i guess what i’m trying to tie together here is that in the “ashrah is a reborn dead person but doesnt know it and unfortunately said dead person is syzoth’s dead wife” nightmare scenario you’ve presented to my inbox, it could go a few ways:

she’s an enenra

same situation as the mk:c girls

hanzo-esque situation (although he's not a demon so. idk)

the second one is probably more in line with what you're thinking of, except that unlike the mk:c girls, ashrah would be kept in the dark that she's a reanimated corpse of a human woman.

and, i said this earlier, but i'll say it again: this would be a wild twist for ashrah character-wise. imagine: she’s fighting for her absolution, fighting to be a human and rid herself of her demonic nature, and then it turns out all along that at one point, there was a time ashrah was human. she had a human life and appearance once, and it was all ripped from her one day and she had no idea. even if her previous life wasn’t related to syzoth or anyone else on the roster, that would still suck. but on the other hand, i think it would give her even more incentive to purify her soul & finally kill quan chi. she'd be hurt, angry, want vengeance for the human woman she once was. the woman that was wrongfully murdered for a sorcerer's selfish gains. the possibilities are endless!!!

i dunno what else to put here or how to end this off, but i've got so many thoughts now... oughh

[autisticempathydaemon]

Take all the time you need hun! I don’t wanna make you feel rushed or anything, life is always busy 💞💞💞

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

Both Over & Over by Rio Romeo and Again&Again by The Bird and the Bee, those two songs have been stuck in my head recently, it fits this fear I have in my mind that I’m never truly growing or I’m never actually gonna leave where I am, that I’ll always fall victim to habit and paranoia 💃🏽 also I just ADORE my meloncholy depressing songs lol but that’s not very heehee haha of me soooo Spider Web by Melanie Martinez bc it has the sound of a Coqui in it (I’m Puerto Rican) or River is a Vampire by Bear Ghost and Dan ET bc it’s just the vampiric version of that one meme “How you do my fellow kids” and it kills me

• What is your Enneagram type?

I think I’m a type 4? but I do know I’m an ENFP!

• Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

God I haven’t watched a video essay in AGES but I used to love them, but idk what gargantuan is </3 but I typically like video essays about internet history or crime cases, or of shows I enjoy (like MLP)

• Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

SHE WAS A CHEETAH WHO WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME NO MATTER WHAT!!! I would pet her, talk to her, and she’d keep me company when everyone would isolate me/avoid me bc I was ‘too weird’. She was just a big ass cat that would keep me company and run by the cars side to make sure I and my family was safe. She protected me 💞 (thank you for making me remember her 🥹)

• What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

Getting on call with my partner, I’m rather clingy and just wanna spend time with them even if it’s just silence or sleepy rambling, it also keeps me from doom scrolling. If not on call with them I’ll put on RSlash or Gavin’s/Davids sleep aid and hope that knocks me out (and if not that a ba LMFAO-) also if I have Lavender, I put it under/rub it all over my pillow and plushies

• If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

Im genderfluid/gendervoid so I’ve tried many names, I do like my birth name, it means Loyal Protector/Pledge, so I wanted to find names that mean loyalty or music related names, but one name I’ve been using recently is Quincy, it feels nice sometimes, my partner suggested it to me.

• What is your favorite of Redacted's audios, and why?

Sam’s cuddles and confessions, it’s nice and comforting. That or Cataclysm in general, I fucking LOVE Cataclysm, I love relistening to it. Also any audio that involves Caelum I love that boy dearly

• What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don't get the hype for. (I won't judge, I promise.)

Aaron and Vincent. Despite me being a huge vampire lover, Vincent just did not catch my attention at all, Aaron just doesn’t peak my fancy aside from one of his BA’s. Also same thing for Porter, he kinda bores me 😔

• Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

When I was a little kid, it was the live action 102 Dalmatians, I KNEW THAT MOVIE LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND!!! I FUCKING LOVED WATCHING CRUELLA BEING BAKED INTO A CAKE BY ALL THOSE DOGS. Also Oddball my beloved 💞💞💞 the sweet baby puppy, I just understood the pup for feeling like and odd one out as a grew up, I haven’t seen the movie in years now but it still holds such a special place in my heart. Now as an adult my two favorite shows are The Promised Neverland(only season 1, I’m reading the manga) and Madoka Magica. I love rewatching TPN, but Madoka I have to mentally prepare myself for cause good lord does it make me feel like I never took anti-depressants/pos and then a movie I love now, A Silent Voice. I think I do know that one scene for scene. As a kid who grew up being bullied for being different or just not doing things right, I felt strongly for the main characters. I’ve cried almost every single time I’ve watched the movie. The part where one of the characters jumped off the balcony kills me every time because it reminds me how that could’ve been me from the fresh ages of 9-16 and almost was. It just holds a special spot in my heart and helps me keep going. (I adore my sad heart wrenching shit lmfao)

• Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

Asher and Guy, those two would be so much fun to be friends with, also with the fact I’m so similar to them, especially Asher, bro is just like me fr 💀💀💀 collars and all. Like I just wanna be that man’s friend he is so silly

• Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you're tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I'm ready to sleep when | start talking about space.)

As cheesy as it is, the fact I just want everyone in the world to be okay and happy, I want us all to hold hands, hug, and not hurt. I cry during these rambles sometimes, I genuinely just want everyone to be safe and happy and it tears me up inside and out bc that’s just not possible with the world we live in. That or I just start rambling nonsense lmfao (bonus is if I start rambling about how much I love and care about the person I’m talking to)

• Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

Root beer and either Hot Cheetos/Cheesy Ruffles, or spicy chicken cheese sticks, meow I’m eating the shit out of that. (But if we have the money for it, Icys specifically cherry cause it’s objectively the best flavor next to Pinacolada)

• Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

Like music playlist? Currently my fave has to be either my Alexis, Quinn, or my Darlin and Quinn playlists, I love my evil people playlists and songs that represent fucked up mindsets and relationships. That or my Melancholy Comfort playlist, I enjoy my meloncholy songs.

Redacted playlist tho? Either Sam, Vega, or Caelum, Sam holds a very special place in my heart, he’s incredibly comforting and ngl I miss the less sexual audios from his earlier era. Vega just drives me feral with every new piece of info we learn, GOD I FUCKING LOVE THAT ANCIENT MAN AND THE LORE HE DROPS!!! And then Caelum’s playlist holds a special place in my heart since that was the only playlist I could listen to after finding out I was cheated on/the other woman. Helped me out a lot for about 2 months 💞

• What's your guilty pleasure media, and why?

Those shitty werewolf romance things you see on tiktok, GOD I get so fucking invested in those they’re so needlessly interesting LMFAO idc they’re cringe, I’m cringe too stfu

• And whatever else you think tells me about who you are!

I’m a huge performer! I love singing, dancing, acting, especially singing and dancing. I LIVE for the stage and positive attention, I just wanna make people smile or make people feel scene when I preform. Hopefully one day I can be famous and truly fulfill that dream of mine. I also feel emotions strongly and spent my entire childhood from middle school and up studying psychology and human behavior. Also I absolutely HATE fake people, I can’t stand when people are fake, I try to be a safe person for everyone to truly be themselves cause lord knows I always hated having to put on a mask growing up/being isolated because I didn’t fit in lmfao.

I forgot to click on anon sorry-

I adore this entry- not only did you give me so much information to work with but you’ve given me an opportunity to pair you with Lasko which I love to do.

He’s such a character in need of love, and I think you’re a perfect person to love him and be loved in return for so many reasons. He’d be an introvert to your extrovert which is always an adorable couple dynamic. You’ve mentioned a past characterized by isolation and feeling other; Lasko is uniquely situated to understand and empathize with that. You prefer true, genuine people, and Lasko is so incredibly (albeit apologetically) himself and probably incapable of being anything else.

One of the most fun activities I think you and Lasko would do together is watch anime. I like to think he’s already a fan, mostly of adventure and isekai, with some cheesy shoujo faves he’s so bashful about liking. You show him A Silent Voice, which isn’t his usual genre, and you two cry together. Another fun thing is how you’ll perform and Lasko will be in the front row every time, cheering you on. He brings you a mismatched bouquet and rambles about how he couldn’t pick a dozen of one flower, so he got a little of them all.

Song:

Cause lately it's been hard/ They're sellin' me for parts/ And I don't wanna be modern art/ But I only got half a heart to give to you/ How can you miss someone you've never seen?/ Oh, tell me, are your eyes brown, blue, or green?/ And do you like it with sugar and cream?/ Or do you take it straight, oh, just like me?

You like melancholy songs; I can provide. This is one of my favorite pining songs, and it makes me think of a young Lasko (and maybe a young you) longing for connection, love, understanding, that one person who will make the love songs finally make sense. It makes me picture Lasko just waiting for you, you know?

Runner-ups:

On the total opposite of the pairing spectrum, Hudson is one of your runner-ups because he’d be such a good match to you as a performer. I personally can’t imagine a better hype man than Hudson. I’m also picking David as a runner-up for you, because I think you two would contrast each other really cutely, in a maybe golden retriever/german shepherd way.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[coredrill]

one month since braeburn finale……………….breaking my silence……………

much as i love this show and would obviously love More Bravern in general i am just. genuinely terrified by the idea of a sequel/spinoff/whatever FNDNCNNDNCNDN. obviously nothing’s been said either way yet and but with how unexpected of a success it was in jp it seems like it could be possible and augghhhhhh………mayhaps i will change my mind whenever i get around to watching gravion zwei cause tbf idk how obari does sequels but like. as a Gainax Show Enjoyer its like i always say. you can’t make another flcl by making more flcl and so the idea of trying to recreate what made bravern so special to me is like. idk if it would work yknow!!!! like. even putting the “wtf would the plot be” situation aside, bravern is a very specific story and i do worry that things that i like abt it would be watered down if that makes sense. like having ONE gattai (which sidenote. why tf did gattai get translated as FUSION it buggs the hell outta me LMFAO) is such a brilliant move but idk if that would continue to be true if they made a sequel yknow??? but then again there are sequels to completed stories that i like quite a bit like dynazenon/griduni and diebuster so like. i assume it would be possible and i just gotta trust the process but STILL. LMAO. i suppose they could also do the “first timeline” story but tbh the idea of bravern without bravern himself there just sounds so depressing to me, i like that the story is happy and fun and that the ending refuses to be sad :[

also if there was a sequel i just. i worry that it could feel potentially unsatisfying w regards to smith/isami cause like the way the show ended was quite abrupt and tbh it rly did feel like they HAD to cut it off there bc everything after that single frame was Not smth that could be aired on japanese television. FNDNFJNDNDNDNSN. and obviously idk the intricacies abt what specifically can be shown but i do know that companies are still Like That abt queer shit. and i’ve said it before but i do strongly believe that bravern the show being so explicit abt it was probably helped by smith being bravern during the latter half and not a Human Man. and idk if they could pull that off again in a way that is satisfying to the audience if they want to progress smith/isami’s relationship any more? unless maybe if they outright market it as bl and maybe make it an ova instead FNFNCJNDNC although i suppose maybe if they. wait actually i did make this joke to a friend the other day hang on let me grab the image

pov u are watching bravern zwei (2029) and lulu is a Sentient Censor Bar. i just had a fucking stroke typing 2029 as a year btw

anyways idk!!! we’ll see what the future holds and obviously i still love the og show no matter what but i think i may just be spoiled by studio “we are never making more ttgl ever again bc that story is complete 😇” trigger FNDNFBNDBDNDN

[sapphire-weapon]

Couple days ago, you were talking to an anon about how remake may be intending to scrap the alcoholism aspect of Leon, and I was just curious, do you think that's a good decision? If yes, would you like it to be replaced by a different coping mechanism in canon (other than repression)? Healthy or unhealthy?

I know this sounds really weird but bare with, lmfao. The whole alcoholic headcanon is what actually places him in my top favourites. It's because I can't stand squeaky clean protagonists. I'm insane for gritty realism, regardless of the media.

RE isn't a Shakespearien masterpiece and I don't expect it to be, but I do think a little more should be poured into the heroes negative traits (just for the sake of my own tastes). I know some are angry and selfish etc., but that only stretches so far. What do these characters DO?

I love the aspect of Chris often acting on rage and emotion, making senseless choices. I love that Leon is in and out of a drunken, depressed asshole phase. I love that Wesker is the most insecure motherfucker on the planet.

I want to know more about how Jill is low key suicidal post-mind control. I want to know more about how Claire feels useless (which was very faintly touched on in Degeneration). Idk, I love seeing nitty, gritty humany traits on screen. It makes them fifty times more likeable to me. (Apologies for rambling and going a little off topic).

i think alcoholism is... easy. it's an easy trope for someone who doesn't fully understand how trauma works to express that a character has trauma. and i say this as an addict.

i was much happier with how leon was portrayed in remake, with him lashing out at an ada who absolutely didn't deserve it. i want to see him project and misplace his anger like that. i want to see his trauma manifest in every day behavioral shit because THAT is really where the insidious nature of trauma comes out.

i think of the drinking as just garnish. other behavioral problems are the meatier symptoms, for me personally.

that's why i like chris's anger so much, too.

[chikoyama]

Shipping Info | Answer the following for your muses so people know how shipping works on your blog

What is your OTP for your character(s)?

Man, I don’t know. If Chiyori can get someone who cares as much about her as she cares about them, then I’m good. If she’s in a relationship where she’s wanted rather than needed, then that's absolute gold for me. ✨

Even in a soulmate au I made her soulmateless specifically for that purpose. Also, because I wanted Chiyori to discover that no one is more perfect for her than herself, but I'm not sure if she's insightful enough to realize that, lmao. Aaah, and the pain too. I also decided for her to be soulmateless because I don’t understand the concept of soulmates, lmfao. (Not anymore at least).

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

To me personally, as long as both parties are in similar stages of physical matureness I won’t care too much, I think? It's fiction after all. Like, someone at the age of 50 with someone at the age 18, I don’t mind too much, because they’re both likely to be past puberty. Both would be in their fully-developed adult bodies. (These talks always remind me of Leonardo DiCaprio’s relationships, lmfao).

However, someone above age 16 with someone at the age of 10 is when I feel things would get kind of weird? Because it’s extremely likely that the 10-year-old hasn’t even hit puberty yet. Don’t bash me for it, but I’d love to witness a well-written dynamic like that. One would have to have the balls to publish something like that, and be a genius too for crafting a dynamic like that that works. Honestly, I think it could make sense in more of a coming-of-age story! Anything else would be creepy, but maybe I’m just too close-minded to be able to imagine otherwise.

How far do steamy moments have to go before they are considered NSFT?

When specific private body parts are mentioned.

Are you selective when shipping?

Uh, yeah.

Who are other characters you ship your character with?

I don't think it's so much if I personally ship it, more than it is about if Chiyori likes the other character. So far, she likes Lee's Suguru (@cvrseduser) (whilst still teenagers, but it's not reciprocated), and Val's Yuuta (@2xcursekissed).

Does one have to ask to ship with you?

Nah, you do you, babe. If it means something to you, don’t let me take that away from you. Be fierce, be mad, be unapologetic. If anything, I’d love to hear why it speaks to you personally!

Are you ship-obsessed or ship more-or-less?

So, the thing is I want to be ship-obsessed, but I’m not, which is sad for meeeee. I genuinely want to experience being in that sort of high, lmfao. Though, that's my problem to deal with, but maybe I just have to find the right partner(s). 🤔

Idk what ship more-or-less means?

What is your favourite ship in your current fandom?

Eeeeh… *thinks hard* Idk… I think every ship is cute per se. It sounds harsh, but these ships don’t mean anything to me personally, because I don't write canon characters, so it’s hard for me to be truly biased. Though, if I wrote cc x cc, maybe I'd fall as deeply into these rabbit holes as everyone else, lmao.

My philosophy on these matters are: As long as it makes you happy, and you let me do me, everything is good!

Finally, how does one ship with you?

Uh, just ask me to ship, I think? — Easier said than done, right? Be engaged, share your thoughts and ideas, send things that remind you of them. Of course, there needs to be a similar level of respect and admiration from both parties. Though, generally speaking I'm very cooperative and reciprocative.

The amount of times I've put more effort into projects (not just in terms of writing) than my partners is depressing. So, I've come to the conclusion that my energy is better spent elsewhere unless someone shows proper enthusiasm about it. I respect myself way too much to put myself through that. I refuse to be dragging a dead body through the mud.

Tagged by: @vartouhix (thanks for the tag, babe! 💕)

Tagging: @ak4rin, @opalchoi, @gyofukuki, @trelonkan, @nvictive

[ileftherbackhome]

In Defense of Joe Alwyn

You can validate Taylor Swift's queerness without demonizing her relationship with her boyfriend, btw. I'm really sick of the stupid fucking arguments that I see gaylors make to support their delusional take that Joe is a beard.

#1 - Grammygate: I didn't think I'd have to point out utterly delusional you have to be as a TAYLOR SWIFT fan to believe she would EVER let a fucking MAN receive credit on her music if she didn't believe they actually deserved that fucking credit. Taylor Got Canceled in 2016 Because She Didn't Like That Kayne Line and Endured A Year Long Depression Episode As a Result Swift would give credit to a man after that, are you STUPID?

#2 - There are no "romantic" songs about Joe, just "glitter gel pen" songs: then proceeds to insist that "call it what you want" is about karlie kloss despite all the "he" pronouns" and joe references, denies delicate, dress (minus the "best friend" line which is a karlie REFERENCE but she's speaking to joe still lmfao), end game, ready for it, gorgeous, new year's day, king of my heart, lover, i think he knows, paper rings (although it's upbeat, it's a very vulnerable song), daylight, afterglow, it's nice to have a friend, invisible string, the lakes, peace, long story short, etc are about Joe.

#3- "if I was joe, I don't know how I'd feel about my girlfriend saying that someone else was like a meteor strike/i'll be getting over you my whole life/they've never seen a love as pure as it etc." : first of all, taylor swift isn't dating YOU so I truly do not give a fuck what your dating boundaries are. This isn't an argument that someone's relationship is fake you dumb bitch lmfao.

If I was dating the songwriter of my generation, I would not give two flying fucks what she sings about her PAST relationships because I know that I'm treating her correctly and her exes didn't. Taylor doesn't pine after exes, doesn't write songs about exes unless she's sure she wants nothing to do with them anymore, so if I was Joe- I'd be proud as hell of my girlfriend for continuing to make music out of highly traumatic and emotional pain.

#4- joe cannot be a beard because their relationship is not a public one. I'm so tired of dumb asses saying things like "joe is a beard because he never talks about taylor in interviews!" Like.... are you okay? how is that evidence of a BEARD CONTRACT you dumb ass? Do you know what a beard contract is, it's literally a PUBLIC FACING RELATIONSHIP that is meant to hide the sexualities of BOTH parties through constant PR and EXPOSURE.

WHERE IS THE FUCKING PR? There are five photos of the two of them together- this is not evidence of a SIX YEAR LONG PR STUNT YOU DUMB ASSES.

Please stop saying that joe is a beard, you sound fucking delusional and i'm tired of you representing the gaylor community. we don't want you in here <3

[smallblueandloud]

the eponine x cosette x marius ot3 anon is back !!

check back with me in a few days anon and hopefully i'll have something more substantial for you

don't mind if i do :3 but also, i thought i'd tell you that you've mildly inspired me to start writing fic again. i'm not sure i'll ever actually finish, but there's that!

HI ANON I LOVE YOU I'M SO SORRY FOR VANISHING

that makes me so happy!!!! fic is such a fun and glorious thing <3 i took a two-week break from writing because of a family trip (and then depression kicked me in the ass) but i'm coming back to it today and i am very happy about that :D

since we last talked, i have outlined the fic!! i have a pretty good sense of where it's going, which makes me happy. (there are still LARGE chunks of this fic that are not outlined -- notably the resolution, lmfao -- but i'm hoping those sections will take shape as i get a better feel for the fic as a whole)

also... i wrote one of the most important scenes :D

“Dearly beloved-- well, now I sound like a priest.” Eponine sighs. “You’re thinking about it too hard.” She lets the pen drop. “You have to think about it-- listen, Marius is going to know who you are as soon as he gets the letter. This isn’t about introducing yourself in the usual way. You’re trying to avoid a WhatsApp romance, aren’t you?” Cosette crosses her arms, watching her. “So how would you do it?” “I’d lose the self-consciousness,” she says, bluntly. “This only works if you commit fully.” Cosette shakes her head. “I can’t just stop being anxious. I’ve never talked to him, I don’t even know what his voice sounds like!” “Marius is a romantic,” says Eponine, firmly. “He’ll love whatever you write for him. Look, let me--” She scribbles something down, more focused on displaying relaxation than the quality of her writing. Marius-- I want this to be more than just a summer fling. I don’t know what your voice sounds like, but I know what it feels like to have you live in my heart, in my thoughts, in my life. Will you start this experiment with me? Will something bloom through the pages of our letters? When she glances up, Cosette is staring at her, awed. Belatedly, Eponine says, “Something like that.”