#WHICH I WILL START TRYING TO DO!!! motivation just stumped for a bit

[tales-of-green-hill]

Jet and Wave!!

Jet is as pretty charismatic guy and a lot of people around the school like him. People think he's so cool!! But he's also an idiot. He and Sonic have an odd dynamic where they're not exactly rivals but not really friends either. Jet thinks Sonic is cool and thinks they're friends. Jet gets under Sonic's skin a LOT, and Sonic is like "Ugh, he's so cool >:/"

Wave is ambiverted, and she'd usually rather have the company of her own thoughts and work over most people, but she can be social. She's the head of the robotics club, so Tails and her interact. Tails is the only middle schooler in the club, so Wave is more interested in how capable Tails is for his age (and she's surprised knowing he's actually younger than she thought! 11 instead of 13)

(There's a strong chance I might actually retcon all of this for story reasons, but if I do, they'll be pretty important to the end of the story, but only for an arc)

[oshinohoshi]

Regarding Hikaru's culpability in Ai's death

The question of whether Hikaru meant to hurt Ai is still up in the air but in this post I'm going to make an extremely messy argument that Hikaru loved Ai and didn't mean to kill her!

Above: Hikaru said Ai had selfish and cruel sides (more like extremely avoidant tendencies but I digress) but there's no menace to his tone. He believed it was only natural for her to leave him.

I will say that Hikaru's below statement from ch 160 is pretty weird, especially after just learning that Ai loved him. Is that how he saw Ai? As a woman who deceived him and tried to make him obey her?

It does kind of align with the below Fatal lyrics which I can't see as anything other than a Hikaru song:

You have given me a fatal flaw Selfish giant star, ruined lives

I think both things can be true. He didn't hate Ai. He loved her more than anything. But he was bitter because he thought she didn't care about him.

He created a warped view of their relationship in which he was never loved or needed. But that bitterness, even anger at times, never appears to have devolved into murderous intent. Not when he was still so soft on her despite some of his more accusatory statements.

OK you're saying he didn't mean to kill her. But what about this?

I don't know, man. I just don't know. It's so antithetical to everything we know about him. It's one thing to lash out in a moment of pain but a slow burn manipulation like this requires intention. There's two explanations I can come up with.

He was twisting the screws for another reason. Maybe he wanted to exert control because he felt so powerless over the situation with Ai. Or perhaps he wanted a fellow Ai fanatic. Someone who would understand her significance.

Aqua is wrong.

But why did he change his story from stating he wanted Ryosuke to scare Ai (you fucking idiot, Hikaru) to just giving her a bouquet?

I'm a bit stumped here too. This guy is supposedly a master manipulator yet he couldn't keep his story straight?

Perhaps both of these were his motives but I don't know why he didn't say that from the start. I just don't think this is proof that he lied because it's not hard to keep such a basic story straight.

The best explanation I can come up with is that he told Ryosuke the address in a fit of anger and despair. He thought Ryosuke would scare her. He then gave him the bouquet. It was an "I love you/I want you to feel my pain" message for Ai.

OK, but if Aqua was right about Hikaru manipulating Ryosuke, then he knew Ryosuke was an Ai fanatic who could go off the rails in an instant. Especially if he learned that Ryosuke killed Gorou. And anyway, what the hell did he think he was going to do to scare her?

Augh. I'm just going to hope that Nino filled Hikaru in on Gorou's murder after Ryosuke died and therefore he didn't realize that Ryosuke was dangerous. As for what he thought Rysouke would do... I dunno. Give her the bouquet and glower at her? Tell her he knew about her kids?

My man was an idiot but I don't think that makes him a killer in this case. I mean, it would be scary enough for a fan to show up at your door with flowers from your ex.

My last piece of evidence that Hikaru didn't want to hurt Ai is that he was desperate to ensure nobody would surpass her, he wanted to feel her presence, and imo he was trying to preserve her memory.

Offing Ai is the opposite of all those things. He said that he killed Ai out of spite but I don't think that we're meant to take that literally.

Those panels at the top of my post and his obsessive adoration of Ai make it hard for me to believe he would try to harm her. Instead, he blamed himself - rightfully so - for sending Ryosuke to Ai's apartment and that's what he meant by killing her out of spite.

But this goddamn back and forth is why I'm so frustrated with Hikaru's characterization.

Is he a man who loved Ai, inadvertently caused her to die, and then spiraled into madness fueled by grief and guilt? Or is he a man who loved Ai, used Ryosuke to kill her, and then spiraled into madness because he regretted his actions?

Well, aside from all the reasons presented above, the story never explicitly tells us that he tried to kill Ai. Given that Crow Girl walks around spouting monologues about who is doing what and why, and Hikaru never thought about how he tried to murder Ai in his final moments, I've settled on: Hikaru is by no means an innocent man but he never wanted Ai dead.

I rest my case. It was shaky but I did my best.

[linderosse]

Cannot wait to see your new design for Echourora. I keep refreshing hoping to see you drop the design and comic.

On a proper question, what do you do with the Priestess/Shrine Maidens/Sage descendants from LttP for Wisdomverse? What's their relationship to the actual Sages of ALBW?

Hahaha I can’t wait to share it! I keep thinking of more things to draw around this little Echo|Aurora concept of mine. I’ve been working on a bunch of them in parallel so I can release them as I finish :).

I’m actually nearly done with the first bit! So many ideas, so little time to draw. I’ve been traveling a lot this week and last week, and it’s hard to draw in a moving car :)

But I can still type in a moving car, so hey, here’s an answer to your question!

I personally am merging all the characters from ALBW into their ALttP counterparts, and that includes the sages. Essentially, you can imagine that the sages from ALBW were the ones trapped in the jewels in ALttP— except one of them was replaced by Fable, because Fable is one of the sages in ALttP, but not in ALBW.

Dot in FSA gets a set of color-coded maidens of her own, so Fable doesn’t need one as well. And using the ALBW sages for ALttP is also much more consistent with the sages from OoT. Here’s a nice graphic that someone made online (not mine; I downloaded this ages ago as a drawing reference).

So, in ALttP: the sages get kidnapped/sacrificed at the start, just like the maidens were. At the end, they all come together to break Ganon’s barrier, with Fable (Zelda) as their leader.

That leads to the question: which of the ALBW sages is replaced by Zelda for ALttP, and then gets to be a sage again in ALBW? My vote goes to Seres, the priestess in blue at the end of the line— though I’m still giving her a role to play in ALttP.

In fact, I’m gonna trace where all of them could have been in ALttP. There’s a lot of fun contradictions to merge :).

Osfala

He’s Sahasrahla’s disciple/grandson, just like in ALBW, and gets kidnapped with the rest of them. This has the added benefit of giving Sahasrahla a personal motive to want to help Link at the start of the game (though of course he’s already down to help). Let’s say you can rescue/recruit Osfala in the Dark Palace in ALttP, because it’s the first Dark World dungeon and it’s near where he and Sahasrahla live in the Light World.

Rosso

I don’t think he has a counterpart in ALttP? If he does, I’ve forgotten. Guess he just gets kidnapped and rescued like the others. He can have the Ice Palace, because although I do like Rosso, I hate the Ice Palace and have to give it to someone. It’s a nice ironic choice for a Fire-aligned guy like him (since Turtle Rock is off the table—it’s Fire-aligned, but it’s the last dungeon and therefore has to be where you rescue Fable)

Gulley

Gulley is the blacksmith’s son and one of the sages in ALBW, and the counterpart of the Ocarina Kid in ALttP. In this merged version, he gets rescued from the Skull Woods dungeon, but he’s too young to hold himself together properly in the Dark World, and gives his ocarina to Legend and then dies when they reach that stump in the forest like the ocarina kid does in ALttP canon. Let’s keep that trauma for Legend.

(Note that a lot of people die in ALttP. It’s fine, dw, they’re all canonically revived at the end of the game)

But then the gang is missing one sage! How will they break the barrier, which requires seven sages total? Fear not, they have a plan. We’ll get to that later though. For now…

Oren

Oren gets to be the adult daughter of the aging King River Zora in ALttP who gives Link the flippers. This has the added benefit of giving the King Zora a reason to help Link despite the fact that his people are constantly trying to kill you. Oren gets rescued from the Swamp Palace, just like in ALBW. Water theme go brrrr.

Impa

Impa is Impa. Rescued from Misery Mire, because why not. Nothing special here.

Maple/Irene

Ah, Maple. She’s the granddaughter of Granny Syrup, the potionmaker from ALttP. Maple was added only in the GBA remake of ALttP as a reference to her appearance in the Oracle games. Her kidnapping would give Syrup an added personal motive for helping Link out.

I’m giving Maple the Thieves’ Town dungeon in ALttP because Thieves’ Town is special. Folks who have played ALttP, or who are familiar with The Secrets We Keep, may remember the dungeon boss Blind the Bandit. Blind masquerades as the captive from this dungeon and follows you— until you lead him to a special room and the light turns him back to his monstrous form.

I love the thought of a fake Maple following Legend around, pleading that she’s real, and to trust her— but Legend sees through the lies. When Legend rescues the real Maple, her dry cynicism is a breath of fresh air, and a distinct reminder that she’s the real version. It gives Legend a connection to Maple that he gets to build on more in the Oracle games.

Legend will also proceed to be traumatized by Blind twice more in the future (including TSWK), but that’s a story for another day :).

Seres

Finally, Seres is the daughter of the Priest in ALBW. In ALttP, the Priest hides Zelda in his church for the first half of the game, and dies valiantly trying to protect Zelda when Agahnim comes for her again. In this merged version, Seres was there too, and can’t do anything to save her father. This has the added bonus of giving the Priest a personal motive to want to help Link in the first half of the game (his daughter is in danger), and giving Seres a personal motive to help set the world to rights again in the second half of the game (she wants her father back).

In this merged version, Seres takes Gulley’s place in the final scene where Fable and the gang blast through Ganon’s barrier, so they still have seven sages. There aren’t really any elemental roles in ALttP and ALBW like there are in OoT, but if you consider the elements to still exist, you can think of Fable as a wildcard sage who can fill Gulley’s role, like Lullaby/Requiem does in OoT as the “Seventh Sage.”

Tl;dr:

And there you go! The ALBW seven, if they were in ALttP.

Did I overthink this? Yes. Will I change details of this later? Maybe. Was this fun to contemplate anyways? Hell yeah!

Thanks for the amazing question. I love these; keep ‘em coming, folks!

Masterpost

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D

I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.

Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.

I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!

I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.

I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer

I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.

So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3

[viraaja]

Viraaja, firstly, congratulations on your upcoming release!!! I was just wondering, do you have any tips on writing?

I find myself with ideas, but when I sit down to work on them I struggle so much writing anything.

It's mainly sentence structure and prose/style that stumps me along with the inability to put down what I'm thinking. If you have any advice, that would be greatly appreciated - I've always admired your skill and motivation (considering how many lengthy fics you've posted) xx

Aww, thank you so much Anon!! To think we're only 2 weeks away from TCATHOE being out in the world??

I'll be entirely honest that I struggle with the same roadblocks. Some days are better than others and what really helps me is reading work by authors I admire or something of my own that I really am proud of right when I sit down to write. It may just be a few paragraphs of a fic or a book but I will dive in just get into the rhythm of the words and then open my file and go to work. Something about that just jump starts the whole flow state for me. Audiobooks do the same thing. Hearing the words spoken aloud is an even better way to get a feel for their rhythm, and soon you will develop that internal "voice" which is when everything starts writing itself.

Also, try not to edit as you go. I use [bracket notes] to insert thoughts into my document of stuff I want to come back to and they pop up very organically, even if it's like [find a better word for this]. It's the flow state you're seeking and anything that pulls you out risks breaking it! So try not to get caught up on the little stuff :) You can prettify things after!

At the end of the day everyone's got their own process and even that might change over time. Try to write a little bit each day and soon you will have formed a habit and that is going to help you more than anything else ever will!

I always feel like I ramble when it comes to this stuff, but I hope you find something helpful here 💜💜💜

xo

[kreideprinz69]

There is an odd theory I start to have, maybe it's a stretch, but what if Nagito's motive in the 5th chapter was not 100% to save the traitor and kill the remnants, but to give them a chance against Monokuma? He says his only best "talent" is cleaning, but I find it strange he left the tiny foil top thing beneath his bed, also that he left the poison in his own cottage's fridge (he could have hid it inside any fridge, one which has no ties to him or the trial), lolike he tried to give them a slight chance to solve his case. To me it would make more sense of his mention of a bronze statue, since then he tried to do the same thing that Sakura did (tricking Monokuma). Maybe by letting AI Chiaki die also helped Alter Ego in a way (freeing it from the Neo World program's limitations)?

HELLO! sorry this took forever to respond to.

i really had to think about this one for a bit. my first thought upon reading this was sort of just a "huh... maybe," but i decided to entertain the theory, and it slowly just started making more sense. it's not as much of a stretch as you think it is. i was talking about this theory with my lawyer (bf) for a good while and went back through a lot of dialogue.

So! im going to explain how this theory could actually work, in probably agonizing detail! i've tried to organize this nicely since it's a bit long.

so first let's go over; what exactly does nagito know?

the neo world program, AI chiaki being the traitor, the remnants of despair, some sense of monokuma's plan to lead everyone to "unimaginable despair," the "truth" of this world (which im assuming entails future foundation using the nwp to "restore" the remnants by the end of the field trip,) monokuma/the mastermind is using the nwp to bring the ultimates back to despair. these are all things he knows.

it's difficult to say what he for sure does and doesn't know though. we don't know what exactly was in the files that nagito recieved, and during his final video message, there's text that's cut off which could potentially be important. so i'll assume that he prooobably doesn't know about junko's graduation plan, and i dont think he knows the mastermind (kamukura.)

i do think it's safe to assume nagito knows hajime is kamukura based on various things nagito has said, but i don't think he knows that kamukura is the mastermind. he might suspect it though. again, i can't say anything for sure but for the sake of this post, this is what i'll be assuming right now. i'm also going to assume he knows that Junko is the ultimate despair, and is a virus infecting the simulation.

The evidence in nagito's cottage...

this is what really stumped me. why did nagito leave the foil and poison in his cottage? there's no way this was a careless mistake, this is nagito were talking about, every action he takes always has a meaning. also, with how detailed and meticulous his plan was, there's no way he didn't think about the evidence left at his cottage, evidence that could have EASILY been disposed of. yet, he left it in his cottage, and im sure he was fully aware it would be seen. nagito is smart. so im positive that he left it there on purpose.

all of his motivations are based on hope and seeing the one true hope that can overcome ANY despair. this is very important to remember.

he wasn't just trying to get everyone but the traitor killed, there was another option. one that actively inspired hope. that option being, the remnants face off against junko enoshima- the ultimate despair, and win. what's more hopeful than that? they would literally be overcoming some of the worst despair.

nagito himself never says what exactly it was he was trying to achieve, it's only assumed that he was trying to kill everyone. which yes, is true, but it's only one part of the full story. it was the safe option, kill everyone before they can turn to despair. but in another event, his classmates would be forced to solve a seemingly impossible case and set them up to deal with junko. he became the perfect stepping stone for hope, as he said he would throughout the whole game.

further proof that this was an outcome he had planned for; the video message he prepared was specifically for either plan.

in the video, he even instructs them on how to enter the ancient ruins and stop monokuma's plans.

now around the part where mentions the bronze statue, he's babbling on about becoming hope. which sounds like his normal nonesense, but its incredibly important when you remember he's speaking to BOTH sides. even in the event his plan "failed" he still believes he's done something hopeful.

he became a stepping stone for hope, and he knows it.

even if he doesn't know about junko enoshima (because he MIGHT not) it's still obvious that they're facing an ultimate level of despair, the true and worst kind of despair. he's perfectly aware monokuma's plan is to make them feel that despair. so either way you look at it, he's setting up the others to overcome despair and let their hope shine through.

so in conclusion to this,

i do think it's entirely possible he left the evidence there on purpose as clues for them to solve the case. it was a two in one for him, either way the trial turned out he was guaranteed some type of victory for hope.

[lixenn]

COMES IN TO BOTHER YOU. what was the first fic you wrote? do you have any cool keychains/trinkets you carry around? if money and time was no object, what field of study/career would you pursue? what is a book youre currently reading?

WOW SO MANY QUESTIONS I LOVE IT!!

Let's get you some answers then:

First fic

... Already stumped at that one, because damn my memory is so fucking bad. I can't even ruffle through my documents on laptop because when I first started writing I had a different one and I'm not sure if I transfered all the files when I upgraded.

*tries to make the brain do the thinking thing*

I think actually my first try at anything fanfic like was with my super cringy self-insert thing into the Percy Jackson universe. I didn't even know fanfic was a thing at the time and I'm pretty sure I deleted that document because it went absolutely no where, so yeah that was probably it. I was and still kinda am pretty obsessed with Uncle Rick's work, so it's no surprise to me that I tried my hand at writing fanfic without knowing the concept even existed. However I wouldn't be able to tell you what that story was about even if you put a gun to my head so I can't really give you much detail.

Cool keychain/trinkets

Unfortunately no cool keychains for me, I have a heart shaped one my mum got me from her trip to Berlin but that's pretty basic. As for trinkets? Do earrings count? Because I have some pretty dope sword earrings.

The keychain situation might change though, because my friend is going to Japan in May and he promised to get me a souvenir, so maybe I'll have a cool KHR keychain soon (might get something else though who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Field of study/career

It's a toss up between Writer and Owner of Small Crochet Business. I would love to spent my day just being creative and making stuff. I do like science and I think with all the time I invested in my studies I can say I'm not bad at it but it's not my passion. Like, learning about new stuff is fun and I certainly can do experiments and data analysis but give me the option to simply chill on my couch/bed and just create, I would choose it over science every single time.

I'd probably need to get a better grip on scheduling my day because I realized having a strict routine does wonders for my mental health but otherwise just let me make stuff and I'll be happy.

BOOKS

*stares at all the books in my shelf that I've started but currently don't have the energy to read*

...

You want me to choose just ONE?

Well, if we take the one I read the most recently it's Assisstant to the Villain by Hannah Nicole Meahrer. It's a cozy fantasy romance, easy to read and quite funny at times. I liked the premise so I picked it up and I'm over half way through but my brain is so focused on writing right now, I don't really have the motivation to read (which is very strange since normally it's the other way around.)

Other titles that are gathering dust in my self:

The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch; also funny but in a more serious way, very heavy on the worldbuilding which is awesome but it takes a lot of brainspace so I put it on hold for now.

As Good as Dead by Holly Jackson; I binged the first two books in the trilogy in a day, but this one a bit darker than the others (which makes sense because shit happened) and I need to be in a certain brainspace for that.

The colour of magic by Terry Prachett; I read a lot of Discworld as a kid but I read it in German. This book is my first try reading Prachett in his original glory and it's actually a bit difficult, because again very heavy on the worldbuilding.

I know you only asked for one book, but I'm a chronic oversharer and you asked about BOOKS okay?! I'm bad at controlling myself when it comes to book discussions, so be glad I just kept it to four examples, I could have listed more!

[sinkableruby]

if you were going to see each Monogatari character paired with another character in a story which dynamics do you think would be most compelling?

trying to catch up on asks

idk if this is for just any character or other monogatari characters but i will think on both. im also assuming this is like for dynamics we havent really seen yet as opposed to just what my favorite dynamics are

im gonna say full anime spoilers for monogatari, and spoilers for other series too occasionally? nothing TOO huge but yea

koyomi: he talks to everyone so idk how i would do this. but for outside monogatari... i want him to talk to a boy he doesnt talk to boys enough. i think he should talk to jotaro from jjba part 3 purely because i think he'd be really intimidated and it'd be funny. either that or dirk strider because (homestuck spoilers) i think they could bond over creating splinter versions of themselves and almost killing said selves as well as their mutual self hatred

senjougahara: senjougahara has the tendency to dominate the dynamic of whoever she's with and doesnt take shit from anybody so i kinda wanna see her talk to gaen izuko. bc gaen is also someone who dominates the dynamic of whoever she's with (makes sense) but i feel like senjougahara would be extremely unwilling to put up with her and very distrustful. so thered be a lot of push back on gaens scheming that i think could be interesting. as for outside monogatari, i drew a blank on this so id say maybe sakurajima mai because... not only is that series just monogatari but for a wider audience, but mai is also senjougahara but a little bit to the left. i think since they both had mysterious supernatural starts to their relationships with their respective boyfriends they would start competing over whose start was like cooler or w/e for like basically no reason. i think it'd be funny. it'd probably start a little contentious and then just become them gushing about their boyfriends. how sweet

kanbaru: i think if she talked to sodachi she could be a very positive influence in sodachi's social life that she really needs. and i think she'd also do well in cutting down sodachi's pathological self deprecation if they got close. sodachi would try to like look cool in front of her junior and kanbaru would just be like woah youre taking breaks from college thats not good are you ok... and try to offer her help in staying motivated and healthy and all that. kanbaru's inner doctor can really shine lol. outside of mono first person that comes to mind is homura from madoka and they can talk about what absolute disaster gays they are (although homura is significantly more disaster). second person that comes to mind is serinuma kae from kiss him not me because i think they could have a blast going insane about bl together

hanekawa: id like to see her talk to gaen tooe (if it were possible) because tooes ideology challenges hanekawas and i think it could further hanekawas thinking if they managed to talk. its tough for hanekawa cause shes got her whole journey shes on so shes probably super focused on that and less on bonding w ppl or w/e. i think outside of the series itd be fun if she talked to oribe yasuna just bc yasuna is so bouncy energetic and childishly playful but also so annoying that hanekawa would be a little stumped and caught off balance. she'd end up having to go along with yasunas games and be kind of annoyed about it lol.

nadeko: kinda like koyomi nadeko has talked with too many people for me to feel like i can name a new person for a dynamic. outside of the series tho... shes very reserved so she'd have to talk to someone outgoing for anything interesting to happen... she should talk to baka from the wasteful days of high school girls. baka is so rude and would probably tease nadeko for her shyness but is also so genuinely dumb that nadeko wouldnt be offended by it for very long. baka would rope her along into her usual dumb shit which means nadeko would feel put upon but also get to have fun new experiences so cool.

hachikuji: im drawing a blank. maybe numachi, just because numachi is so negative and dark and hachikuji is so encouraging and positive. i dont think theres anyone hachikuji would like get along badly with but i think hachikuji and numachi might have some disagreements that would be an interesting dynamic. hachikuji should talk to phos from hnk because they could have a fun snappy dynamic with each other and their mutual silliness. and also because phos really needs someone like hachikuji in their life 😭. other than that maybe clara valac? theyre both chaotic i think they'd have fun together :)

tsukihi: should talk to kaiki because kaiki would be totally defeated by her. tsukihi brings misfortune to everyone and he knows this so he'd be really annoyed by having to talk to her. the worst part is she would probably critique his lifestyle and philosophy and not even be wrong about it and hed have no choice but to deal with it. in exchange for not bringing it up he would have to pay her off with snacks and cute clothes. shed prolly also be genuinely pissed at him for messing with karen so he'd have to lose a Lot of money and she'd make him lose a lot on purpose, not as much because she wants the stuff but more because she knows he wants the money. she should talk to suzumiya haruhi theyre both forces of nature theyd have a wonderful time unknowingly making the lives of everyone around them 1000x more annoying. they'd like feed off each other it'd be great. they've got like equally low attention spans so theyd go pursuing a new really ambitious project like every week and have a fun time with it. theyre mutually very bored i think they'd get along.

karen: karen should talk to kagenui and do a training montage with her. they'd do a training montage that's what they'd do. karen would adopt kagenui as her mentor after like 3 seconds. im not sure who to have her talk to from outside mono. maybe someone she can mentor instead of her being the mentee. actually i think itd be hilarious if she tried to mentor bocchi. like specifically in like martial arts and physical fitness. and bocchi would be like yes i can get stronger and then all the girls will love me so shes up for it but karen would be just so bad at teaching that it wouldnt amount to anything. but she wouldnt know how bad she is at it and would just keep trying to push through... bless her heart

yotsugi: should talk to senjougahara bc they are both monotone and acerbic it'd be a monotone-and-acerbic-off. who will win. (senjougahara would bring up yotsugi's old catchphrase and win bc yotsugi would die of cringe). i'd like her to talk to iruma because iruma is so sweet and yotsugi would probably be a little rude but also a little nice to him. and then she would make him do stuff for her every now and then bc he cant say no lol. she'd probably use him to pamper herself tbh

sodachi: itd be interesting if she ever talked to shinobu bc she'd be like wow you attached yourself eternally to THAT guy? lame and then she'd like openly mock her. shinobu would probably haughty about it like who cares about the words of a mere human (she does). i think itd be cute if she talked to anya for similar reasons that i think kanbaru should talk to her, only amplified bc anya can literally mind read all her self deprecation and try to cheer her up without letting her know she can read her mind in the way anya tends to. itd be very cute. sodachi would have a lot of fun spoiling her and being like a cool big sister figure. very sweet 😌

shinobu: shes not really interested in talking to people outside of koyomi so im not sure for this one. oops

ougi: i want ougi to talk to meme. the uncle dynamic would be amazing. all the better since ougi seems to dislike being compared to him. theyre both slippery vague people who tend to talk in confusing ways and i think they would have philosophical discussions that would go NOWHERE because neither of them gets to the point. i think ougi would try to critique his ideology and meme would just rebuff the criticism. and then he could bust out the uncley affection (but only in a slightly ironic/indirect way bc hes a tsundere) and itd be very cute (although i think ougi would absolutely hate it lmao). as for outside of the series i have many thoughts about these. like how i think araragi should talk to dirk i think ougi should talk to hal. they would understand each other and also them being together for any period of time upwards of 1 minute would make everyone in the vicinity have an instant migraine. and they could definitely talk philosophy together too! i also think ougi could talk to oreki houtarou from hyouka bc hes got that whole detective mystery solving thing going on and ougi would absolutely love to ask him to solve some mystery and be his watson. and of course theyd also try to lead him around into some dark path which he'd be wary of but might still fall for despite what happened with irisu. another fool for ougi to mess with. but that might be a dynamic too similar to araragis so i also also think ougi could talk to chitanda. ougi could probably pull out some kinda repression from chitanda but chitanda is just so genuine that she would handle it very well and it wouldnt turn into any kind of disaster as ougi would hope it to. really i think they could just bond over their love of mysteries. ougi needs a fellow mystery lover to talk to. (although oreki might also be a fan of mysteries too, partly in novels and stuff and partly irl, i think chitandas bright and loud enthusiasm about it could let her and ougi geek out together and itd be fun 😄)

[formulafics]

hiiiii i love ur fics and page in general and want to start my own, i was wondering if you had any tips for starting one?? like how to lay it out and stuff

(the JB and OP stuff is THE BEST)

🫶🏻🫶🏻

thank you so much!! 🥹🫶🏻

i’m so glad to hear that you want to start an account of your own. truthfully, i don’t have a lot of tips since most of my posts are just a matter of trial and error, but i can say

prioritize fun. i have moments where i get frustrated because things aren’t coming together, and it’s best to just take a break! if you force yourself to keep working, you could easily burn yourself out and make writing fics feel like a chore, which is no fun

take your time! whether it’s laying out your blog or a fanfiction, it all boils down to personal preference, and can be tedious. the way that i went about creating my theme and fic layouts was just trying different things and moving stuff around until i was happy with it! to start yourself off, maybe find a color scheme or specific picture or idea, and go from there.

try to prepare as much as you can. often times before i start a fic, i go to my notes and type out my ideas, then create bullet points of the story so i have a guide to follow! it helps me not get stumped, and also helps me remember the little details i want to include. i also spend a lot of time on pinterest searching through aesthetics and what not to get a “vibe” for my fic, and often the pictures you see in my posts are those!

try not to care about what people think - it’s your blog, your work, your time, so do what you want! i tend to overthink about my work, and by the time it’s posted, everyone loves it and there was no need for me to stress LMAO

lastly, if you can, find someone to help you here and there. i know not everyone can do this or wants it, but it’s truly so nice to have someone who can give you opinions when you need them, and sometimes help boost your creativity! which, i’m more than happy to help you and anyone else where i can <3 (shoutout to @renarots she keeps this blog ALIVE)

i hope that was at least a little bit helpful or motivating, i know it was kind of a word vomit lol. sending you all the good vibes for your account! you got this 🫶🏻

[cheqorb]

Going Slightly Off-Script.

You’re both just in a fake relationship for both of your own benefits, nothing more is going on behind the scenes (and it’s definitely not actual love)!

FEAT. Reo, Sae, Kaiser

NOTES. Can’t tell if these are horribly ooc or not, but i’m sure you guys are sick of my apologies so I’ll try to stop 😕 and wow, reading through this whole yap sesh was pretty painful! My condolences to you, dear reader.

As the heir to the illustrious Mikage corporation, REO knew, deep down, that a time would come when he'd have to step into his parents' shoes and take control of the company. And speaking of which, his parents seem to be growing increasingly more eager to see him settle down, constantly badgering him about finding a ‘suitable partner’ whenever he visited them.

However, his career of being a professional soccer player meant that he would probably only be able to see them if he played games in Japan itself, which rarely happened anyway.

He wasn’t an idiot; maintaining a relationship with his schedule would be practically impossible. His partner would certainly get tired of it after a few months, and he wasn’t keen on the idea of forcing them to travel with him to every single match.

Adding on to his worries, the thought of starting a relationship with ulterior motives (in this case, merely to appease his parents) left a bitter taste in his mouth. Reo’s not exactly the type of guy who wants to break someone’s heart over this. The man was stumped for once, until by some stroke of genius, you came into mind.

Though not particularly close by any means, you’d met enough times for him to recognise your face. Given, that you’ve already got status as an heir to your own family’s fortune, his parents should also approve of you. Besides, since you’re someone familiar with the expectations of living a life like his, surely, the life of being his significant other shouldn’t be too jarring.

────

For what seems like the first time ever, Reo stumbles over his words — his usually confident demeanor giving way to a sense of nervousness that was unlike the man. And in spite of his attempts (?) to mask it, it was clear that this weighed heavily on him, even more so than his usual bravado could conceal.

“So, I was hoping you could consider-“

His smile falters as you quickly interject, a curt “I accept” escaping your mouth before he could even finish his carefully rehearsed ‘proposal’. The relief in his eyes was unmistakable, though tinged with a hint of disbelief at your response. Rather than immediately celebrating, Reo’s expression softens a little.

“You,“ he pauses, “You don’t need to make your decision so quickly, I get that it’s a difficult thing to ask of you…”

“Yep. And I’m agreeing.”

────

In hindsight, maybe the arrangement had fallen a little too seamlessly into place? Maybe he should’ve been more concerned with how…eagerly you accepted being his fake partner without a moment's hesitation (it honestly freaked him out slightly). But ultimately, it solved his problem!

With you by his side, he could continue his career while still making his parents happy. Alls well that ends well.

Of course being the over thinker he is, Reo still has doubts but you reassure him that you’re perfectly happy to spend your days in comfort and go on luxurious vacations with your friends if he had matches coming up.

As luck would have it, you’re quite the lovely person yourself. Even if his parents aren’t there to see, you always go above and beyond to maintain appearances (he thinks that’s what you’re trying to do anyway?) and make sure he’s happy. Whether it was a home-cooked meal awaiting him after a long day or your being in the stands, cheering him on during matches, your seemingly genuine care for him just makes his heart flutter a bit.

I think Reo has a soft spot for sweet gestures that don’t really involve money.

On return, Reo finds himself taking extra care of you: making sure you’ve got nice clothes to wear, randomly calling you in the middle of the night, a slip of the tongue petname here and there. Just normal stuff you do for your fake lover!

────

Nagi could only only sigh (internally in his head, it’s too much work to actually sigh) as he watched his teammate picked up his phone for the umpteenth time this hour.

“Maybe they’re just sleeping..?” he offers, though it doesn’t seem to help very much.

“They haven’t responded to any texts, they won’t even pick up the phone…” the man laments, sulking in the corner of the room. “My dear Y/N could be in danger and if I’m not there to help them-“

A quick ding from his phone soon shoots Reo upright from his misery, a hopeful look now on his face. He only seems more giddy once he notices it’s a voice message too, he just loves listening to you speak! Your voice is always so— “Reo, please go to sleep, it’s late for you right now, isn’t it? Call me back in the morning, don’t you dare think of staying up to text me.”

────

Hm, does he really do that? Reo’s never quite noticed, or thought about it, because he’d rather spend his time wondering what gift he should get you for his next surprise visit back home!

SAE’s attitude and abrasive personality is definitely one of his manager’s least favourite qualities about him. The man’s hatred for interviews and meet-and-greets, coupled with his unabashed insults towards those he found irritating, posed a challenge for his (manager) public image.

While some die-hard fans may have been drawn to his aloofness in the first place, it’s hardly the ideal for sponsorship deals or modeling contracts that he’s worked so hard to get — only for Sae to completely ignore them.

His manager is also the one who entertains the idea of him entering into a relationship in the first place. Perhaps, he mused, a significant other could ‘soften’ his rough edges and make him more approachable to the public. Though he doubt the man would ever agree to such a scheme, he was a bit desperate now. Can’t hurt to give it the old college try, right?

────

The obvious heartbroken expressions of the people leaving the room, along with the unmistakable voice of the Itoshi Sae in the flesh, uttering the word ‘rejected’, did little to ease the growing pit in your stomach.

Finally, your name was called and you enter the room with as little flair/flamboyance as you could, no need to embarrass yourself more than you already will.

His bored expression does little to boost your confidence and you found yourself avoiding direct eye contact as you introduce yourself sheepishly. “Hello, uhm- it’s nice to meet you. I’m L/N Y/N.”

────

There was something about your unassuming nature that intrigued him. You spoke about yourself with an honesty that bordered on indifference, almost as if you had resigned yourself to an inevitable rejection so you didn’t care how genuinely insane the things you were saying were. Like seriously, in college you went to a skate park drunk and came home with a horse?

But there’s one thing bugging him right now.

────

The words leave his mouth before he can even think of what he’s saying. “Look up at me.”

His request catches you off guard and you couldn't help but mutter an apology before reluctantly meeting his gaze. You feel weirdly self-consciousness whilst he stares at you (with luminescent green eyes) but thankfully maintain your composure until the end.

“—but, that’s all I can really say about myself. Thanks for listening and I wish you luck in finding one of the next candidates likeable!”

You flash him a smile, before swiftly getting up and exiting through the door without even letting him get a word in. Finally, that’s over with… You do feel a little bad for Sae though. Was he standoffish? Obviously. But hey, he was nice enough to listen to you rambling about everything under the sun so you at least hope he takes an interest in one of the people that comes in after you.

────

You almost forget about the whole fiasco since you believed you had created a lasting impression of someone who was most definitely not a good fit for a prodigy like him, as well as a bit of a weirdo. Imagine your shock at the email sent to you a few weeks later by his manager. To make a long paragraph short, you got the position! Well done?

Now, his manager arranged for the two of you to meet together for a first date to truly make sure this relationship would (at the bare minimum) allow you to be cordial with one another. If you’ve got a person like Sae on your hands, you learn to not expect things to turn positive.

His blunt and somewhat unnecessary remarks and stoicism could’ve easily derailed the evening, but to your credit, you held your own with decent resilience considering how timid you seemed upon your first meeting. Disregarding the occasional reaction at his words, you continue to be kind to him.

He’d never, ever, admit it out loud but he does feel a little guilty at how you just take his comments without complaint. Some form of annoyance from you would be expected, yet you only meet his words with a laugh or simply ignore them altogether — leaving him feeling unexpectedly unsettled. Also slightly questioning your self esteem.

You were walking out of a park when he was contemplating bringing the date to a close (he’s surprised he hadn’t done so earlier), before you suddenly bow your head with a smile on your face. One that really captivated Sae because of the actual, sheer sincerity in it.

────

“Thank you,” you say, and when he looks a little sceptical, you continue, “really. You’ve been nice to me even though I’ve just been talking your ear off this whole time, so I just wanted to say thanks for that. I liked today a lot, so- erm…if it’s not too much trouble, could we go on another? Date, I mean.”

With your words hanging in the air, he was at a loss for how to respond. Just what did you expect him to do after hearing that? Not decide right there and then that he wanted to give you the entire world and more?

Unlike the other two, KAISER’s situation can vary a little more. As in, his reasons for needing a pretend relationship can differ depending on anything. It could stem from dissatisfaction within his management, a desire to maintain his image, or simply on a whim. Regardless of the reason, you’re stuck with the bastard unless you want to lose all the money you get from doing this.

His arrogance is still hard to deal with, even though you thought you had steeled yourself for it beforehand. It doesn’t even seem to disappear even when the two of you are alone together; which by common sense, should be when you’re most comfortable with each other, no? He treats you like an accessory most times, but you can’t really complain if he’s the one paying your bills.

But, there are also times where his bravado feels forced, the occasional slip in his facade.

For better or for worse, you hesitate to say anything — not wanting to overstep any boundaries. You aren’t his actual s/o, you were getting paid as if the relationship was a career. Besides, would someone as overconfident as to call themselves ’emperor’ without cringing even want help from you?

If you’re the more compassionate type, you may just immediately cave in and try to help but even if you aren’t, it’ll be increasingly difficult to ignore him. One of these days, you realise he definitely doesn’t plan on seeking help himself.

Initially, he adamantly opposes any attempts of said help from you, making it clear he preferred to deal with his troubles alone or that he simply doesn’t need your help.

Your persistence is slightly alarming to Kaiser, who’s probably wondering if you’re trying to increase your allowance or something, but he still doesn’t give in (yet).

────

Suppressing a sigh, you turn on your heel after placing a cup of water and a modest plate of food on the coffee table. Another one of these nights again. Well, staying where you're evidently not wanted seems pointless. "Try to eat something before heading to bed, Michael. If you need anything, just tell me."

As you prepare to take a step forward, a sudden tug on your arm sends you tumbling to the floor.

Your assailant remains quiet, clutching your hand as if it were his lifeline. Awkwardly, you place your hand on his shoulder and try to engage him in small talk. Never have you ever thought you’d have to go on a ‘how’s the weather today’ rant in the midst of a possible mental breakdown, but here you are.

Though Kaiser doesn’t respond, he doesn't push you away either. It's progress of sorts, you suppose?

────

After a few more instances like that, there’s a gradual improvement in your relationship. Kaiser appears to be coping better with his emotions, even seeming happier than before. Good for him, you think to yourself when you notice it but it doesn’t exactly shock you. You figured that your dynamic with each other still wouldn’t change all that much.

You’d help him out whenever he needed you to, and both of you continue with your lives as usual. However, fate (or Kaiser himself) clearly had other plans.

For starters, he’s much more affectionate in private moments rather than it simply being for the media. He doesn’t do those elaborate displays like roses and gifts anymore — which you might think is a sign he’s growing more distant, but he remembers you saying you didn’t quite like it when there’s hundreds of cameras on you when accepting gifts like that. It’s more subtle, just how you like it.

There isn't a day that passes without him being by your side at some point in the day, either: resting his head on your shoulder, intertwining fingers, or wrapping his arms around your waist. Don’t forget there’s also the random pet names he bestows upon you. They aren’t at all cute or normal, but he doesn’t feel the need to explain the meaning behind them.

He genuinely cares if you’re around or not. Attending his matches had already become routine to you, it being necessary to maintain the image of being his supportive significant other but nothing beyond that.

While you never had the intention of not going anymore, you can’t help but notice Kaiser's new habit of personally inviting you to his matches. With a smug grin, he would insist on you showing up, emphasising how he wanted you in the crowd, cheering him on. Instead of receiving tickets through the usual channels (his manager, or whoever unlucky enough to cross paths with him that day), he likes to hand-deliver them to you.

────

With the crowd roaring in excitement, you figure it’s signalling the start of the match was close. What you don’t notice until it’s too late, is Kaiser's gaze finding its way to you. He takes a stride in your direction, his hand reaching out to gently lift your chin to face him.

Meeting his eyes, a questioning expression flickers across your features, as he lets out a dramatic sigh. Always so clueless, weren’t you. "Don’t you love me, Y/N?” he says with a uncharacteristic frown on his face, making it quite obvious that he’s pouting over something. Something you seem to do every time without fail nowadays.

“I spoil you too much,” you mutter, before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

────

As you can probably tell, he’s more insufferable like this though.

[elemmacil]

THERE ARE SO MANY can i pick multiple? i say yes. 29, 58, 78.

THANK U LAEL 😂🤲🏼

29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

You’re forcing me to compliment myself and I don’t like it UHHH I do think I’ve gotten to the point where my dialogue is consistently good; meaning, I keep each character’s voices distinct and conversation flows/isn’t stilted, and is sometimes even clever! I enjoy that.

I’m also proud of how I write action, fight sequences, and sparring. I take a special amount of pride in trying to capture those feelings in a way that’s easy for a reader to follow and feel connected to. Having real-life daily experience(s) (within certain parameters) is a boon but also a bit of a curse, because I know the technical details and exactly what I need to convey—but in a wildly different medium. It’s difficult! But I’m getting better all the time.

58. Do you have a favorite piece of figurative language you’ve written?

This one stumped me for a long time. There are a few that come to mind but no one that really sticks out more than the rest.

I think I’ll settle on these two, from “a bit of earth”:

“Impossible to know the true molten heat of such embers, unless Zagreus unburied and stoked them. Rage immolates its host as surely as it does anyone who dares stand in its path; god, or mortal.”

and

“What he spurned for the luster of glory—resplendent, sweeter than ambrosia, brighter than burnished gold. Quicker to tarnish.”

78. What motivates you during the writing process?

I suppose the same thing that leads me to writing the first sentence of a story, in general. There’s an itch to scratch.

I am slowly becoming better about completing projects; I think part of the trouble is that a lot of what I enjoy about writing is making specific parts/moments take physical form, just for my own personal pleasure. There are so many wip’s lying around I don’t feel a particular compulsion to continue because I’ve already written the parts I wanted to make real haha.

That said, sharing my work with other people in the recent past has been really rewarding and motivating too. It feels very powerful to move and excite other people. And tbh a lot of that got jump started because of our (you) (Lael and I’s) ongoing LOTR/Witcher project. WHICH WILL TAKE THE WORLD BY STORM ONE DAY!!!

[godlyvex5]

I never played baba is you, but I watched videos of people playing, and tried to solve the puzzles before the youtuber did. The later levels in baba (after the first big twist) were confounding to me and I couldn't solve them in my head at all (aside from the smaller simpler puzzles, which I could sometimes do). But levels before the twist usually were solvable for me. The game doesn't rely much on precise movement or niche interactions, almost every solution is an obvious consequence of word definitions. The hard part is usually noticing which combination you need in order to set up a specific situation. Early on, it's even simpler, and you usually just need to notice one single possible sentence which would solve the level. Like, in the early lava level, you just need to notice that you can move a word that allows you to create "lava is melt" or "lava is baba". Later levels require multiple sentences to be created at different times in the level, and the key is knowing WHICH sentences you can create which would be helpful, what order to make those sentences in, and where in the level you make them. But generally, it feels like it ramps up slowly. I rambled a little long there, let me switch to talking about bean and nothingness.

In bean and nothingness, I've only completed the first 2 worlds, so keep that in mind. Baba puzzles feel pretty open ended, like there are always more things to try. In bean and nothingness, once I've tried a few things, it feels like I've exhausted all of my options and it's really difficult to motivate myself to keep walking around an area which is not very dynamic. Puzzles this difficult weren't very common, the rest of the puzzles I found fairly easy, with less than 4 of them actually posing a challenge around my level. Having said that, I still had fun with all of the puzzles except for one that was a large square with a bomb bug in the middle, and 4 rollers on the outside. That one was fairly easy to see what I was supposed to do, but the challenge of moving the rollers around on the outskirts was just exhausting to me. I gave up on it after messing with it for 5 minutes.

You also convinced me to play microban 1, and I played through to around level 120. I found the game very easy up until around level 80, which took a really long time because I have just been playing it on my phone when not doing anything else. Most levels after 80 were also very easy to figure out and took less than a minute. I think less than 10 puzzles in the entire 120 took me more than a minute, and at least 5 of those only took so long due to the tediousness of moving around so slowly with mobile controls. The puzzles that actually took me longer than a minute to figure out usually took me 10 minutes or more, and I had a great time solving them. But these only started showing up after level 80, and many levels after 80 tend to just be more tedious and larger rather than necessarily more difficult.

Actually, the experience of going through these simple levels for so long reminded me of void stranger. The atmosphere and artstyle was quite a bit worse, and the lack of music certainly impacted the experience, but the gameplay loop of solving tons of really short and simple levels was very reminiscent. I enjoyed void stranger more, I'd say. The earlygame was more fun because the tile moving mechanic was novel and the atmosphere was great at motivating me, and once I got into the lategame of that, there were far less 'easy but super long' puzzles and more 'short but extremely difficult' levels. To bring this back to bean and baba, I'd say void stranger felt more like baba in how open ended it felt, while microban felt more like bean with how limited my options felt. I'll say that when it comes to the easier puzzles, I liked bean and nothingness more than microban, but when it came to the puzzles that stumped me, I liked microban more than bean and nothingness. Now, to be fair, I haven't finished either bean or microban, and I never technically played baba myself, so take these opinions with a grain of salt.

to people who started playing bean and nothingness from my video & still haven't watched it, hows the game so far?

[jkstompers]

don’t go | jjk

pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader

summary: you and jungkook were simply roommates, nothing more than that. no matter how much you wanted to get to know him, jungkook always left before you were able to get any deeper than two weeks into his past. 

word count: 3.3K 

genre: roommates, established friendship, hidden feelings, angst, slight fluff

warnings: none! :) (except maybe some typos...ignore that...haha...)

author’s note: yes hi hello! i’m so sorry i haven’t posted in so long AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST THIS FIC THE DAY AFTER VALENTINES UGH!! I’M SLACKING, I’M SORRY!! i’ve been writing but i don’t have the motivation to finish and ugh it’s a mess in my brain right now. this fic i was able to finish though! hopefully u enjoy it ♡(ŐωŐ人) please let me know what u think! sorry again for being so inactive T口T. 

side note: this is how i imagined jungkook in this fic! his pink sweater and long hair (╯°▽°)╯ ┻━┻ .crying. 

also banner picture cred: here <3

“welcome home roomie! how was your month long vacation from me this time?” you greet jungkook when he walks into the kitchen for breakfast. he just came back last night from one of his month long rendezvous that occur way too often in your opinion. jungkook would disappear and reappear every other week or so. he never told you where he went and you never really found yourself dedicated enough to find out. 

“fun,” he answers flatly, “and to be specific, it was only two weeks.” he clarifies the time he spent away, sitting down at the island and surveying the food you laid out. you outdid yourself this morning, an array of different breakfast foods. “you made all of this?” 

you nod, “they were about to go bad, so you better finish all of it.” 

he sends you a half smile, teetering on a smirk as he takes the plate you hand him. “you doing anything today?” he asks. his fork stabs through two pancakes and moves them to his plate, shoveling bacon and eggs onto there as well. 

“on this fine sunday? sadly, no, just some homework i need to finish.” you sigh, taking a sip from your glass of water. your seat is to the right of jungkook, at the head of the island. it’s now that you really take your time to look at him. his morning look in all it’s glory. a face swollen and hair messy in the cutest way. it wasn’t fair that he was attractive during times when you’re supposed to look unattractive. his hair has grown a little longer since you last saw him, the ends of his hair touching the apples of his cheeks now. speaking of his cheeks, he stuffs them full of food and chews, his eyes wandering around the apartment until he makes contact with yours. catching you staring. 

he swallows, bringing his glass of water to his lips before speaking again, “my face that interesting to you?” the question comes with a piece of pancake on his fork, offering it to you.  

like a reflex, you open your mouth to accept the pancake. but you scrunch your nose at the remark he made, “you look different.” 

the statement is meant to be innocent, speaking of the way his hair is a little longer and how you notice a new tattoo gracing his arm. but jungkook seems to take it a little deeper, your words ringing in his head. different? does that mean you look at him different? is he prettier now? uglier? what do you mean by that? 

“do you want to go grocery shopping later?” he asks. hoping you didn’t notice the long pause he took to overthink. 

“sure,” you shrugged. a small bubble of excitement forming in your stomach. “we’re out of ice cream anyway.” you try to carry a nonchalant reaction when nods. 

when the two of you finished filling your bellies, jungkook helped you wash the dishes and clean everything up. the feeling of having him around makes you feel at ease. you wish it was like this more often. for the past two years jungkook had been your roommate, he paid his dues, cleaned his messes, and kept you company from time to time. when he wasn’t there (which was ⅔ of the time) it didn’t feel right. it would feel colder in the apartment, even if the heater was turned up. just...empty. sometimes you wished his socks or hoodies were left lying around the apartment for you to pick up and bicker with him about. rather, he cleaned every spot, no laundry to pick up, no spills to wipe, nothing. leaving no signs that he lived here at all. 

“nap for a little bit and then we’ll go?” jungkook asks, snapping you out of your thoughts. you nod, telling him to wake you up when it was time to go. 

you felt a warm hand on your shoulder, gently shaking you awake. your eyes open to see jungkook in front of you, pink sweater and black hair, contrasting perfectly in the sun that’s shining through your window. “let’s go now,” he says. 

you nod, getting up from your bed and stretching as you walk over to your closet, grabbing a sweater to wear. jungkook offers to drive, you sit in the passenger seat, mind focused on what you had to buy for the house. you make it to the store and grab a cart, jungkook following behind you, “do you need anything?” you ask. 

“some shampoo and conditioner,” he answers. you nod, moving to the bath section and waiting as jungkook chooses his items. the rest of the trip consists of you and jungkook asking each other if you needed said thing for the apartment. “we have to get more blankets,” he declares as you pass the home goods section, grabbing a fluffy blanket.

you scold him, “we have too many blankets, put it back.” he presses his lips into a tight line, showing his dissatisfaction. you both continue to walk around a little longer, moving to the food section. “see, this is what we need!” you pull out the cookie dough tub. 

“dough?” he snorts, taking a look at the bucket as you hold it. 

“it’s ready to eat cookie dough! no salmonella for us!” you smile, dropping it into your cart. jungkook doesn’t say anything after that, you knew he wanted the cookie dough too, you were just taking one for the team. 

walking a little further into the food section, jungkook taps your shoulder, pointing to the other side of the freezers. “ice cream?” 

“oh, yeah,” you nod, pushing the cart that way. you pull the vanilla ice cream out and place it in the cart, jungkook furrows his eyebrows. 

“vanilla? out of all the flavors here? really?” he stares at you, a serious look on his face. you can’t help but start laughing, his face breaks, a small smile appearing on his face but he tries to get back to a serious expression. 

“it’s good! and you can eat it with the cookie dough,” you reason. jungkook rolls his eyes, you always seem to find a way to stump him, he can never argue with you for too long, you’re just too good of a talker. he takes out a mint chocolate tub from the freezer. you don’t say anything but your face scrunches, visibly disapproving.

“don’t start, i will argue for mint chocolate until the store closes.” he warns. you decide to stay quiet, a smile cemented on your face as you make it to check out. the rest of the trip goes smoothly from there, picking up some food on the way home and then making it back to the apartment. 

the two of you decide to do some things on your own when you got home. jungkook had to clean his room and do some laundry while you had to finish your homework. a period of comfortable silence fills the apartment, unlike the cold silence that you were terribly used to. you couldn’t have felt any more content than how you feel now. 

a few hours pass before jungkook finishes his chores, you were finished with your work and were now scheduling your next week. he peeks his head into your room, coughing to get your attention. your head turns at the sound, “movie?” he suggests. 

you smile, standing from your desk. the two of you travel to the couch and plop down on the seats, your hand reaching out to the coffee table for the remote. “which one?” you ask, turning the tv on and clicking random buttons that bring you to netflix. 

“that blue one, with the blonde.” he points as you scroll through the selections. 

“mamma mia?” you snort. 

“looks interesting,” he shrugs. unfolding the blanket and splaying it over the both of you. the first fifteen minutes of the movie plays before both you and jungkook start getting hungry. a rock, paper, scissors game ensues to figure out who’s gonna get up to get the snacks. you lose, 2 to 1. 

you grumble, pulling the warm blanket off of you and moving to the kitchen. taking a bag of chips out, some candy that you had in the pantry, and then the tub of ready to eat cookie dough out of the fridge. the weight of it proving you to be one of the weakest human beings. the tub practically slams onto the counter. the lid once again proving that your strength was not that of thor’s. “jungkook!” you shout from the kitchen. 

“what?” he yells back. 

you try once more to pry the lid open, but to no avail. so you shout once again, “help me open the cookie dough!” 

you hear jungkook groan, but nevertheless he comes into the kitchen, his face silently asking what you need him to do. you show him that the lid is basically stuck and he takes it from you, trying to take the top off but he seems to struggle as well. “here, you hold and i pull,” he suggests, holding onto the lid as you hold onto the bucket part. something told you this wasn’t going to work, maybe you should have left it out to thaw first before you tried to open it. 

if someone were to walk in, the two of you would look ridiculous, but the cookie dough gives after a minute or so of pulling. the effort makes both you and jungkook stumble onto the kitchen floor. both of your laughs overlapping each other. you hold the cookie dough, “let’s stay here first, i’m tired.” your breathing is exaggerated to add effect. 

he grins, moving to grab two spoons before sitting down next to you, against the cabinets on the floor. he sticks the two spoons into the cookie dough, the two of you start digging in. “you know what would be perfect with this right now?” jungkook sits up, standing again and moving to the freezer. you raise an eyebrow, wondering what he’s got in mind. “your vanilla ice cream,” he pulls the tub out. 

“and to think you were making fun of me in the store for it,” you narrow your eyes, taking the ice cream from him. jungkook stands above you, smiling at the way you remain on the ground instead of going back to the couch in the living room. nevertheless, he joins you with his spoon in hand. 

he watches as you scoop from the container, over exaggerating a shiver when you put it in your mouth. “cold?” he asks, but you shake your head. he looks over to your arm, your goosebumps raising. “liar,” he snorts, taking off his hoodie and handing it to you. 

you give him a puzzled look, “i can just get my own—” 

“just take it,” he cuts you off, throwing the jacket into your arms. secretly, you smile to yourself, throwing the hoodie over your head and sliding it on. it smells just like him, an overbearing scent that you’ve found comforting these days. a sudden warmth rushes over you. 

the sound of the tv is in the background of your conversation, but you only pay attention to jungkook, the man who’s digging into your vanilla ice cream and feeding it to you. “you like feeding your roommates or something?” you mumble as you eat the cold cream. 

he shakes his head, a smile on his face. “you’re the first roommate i’ve had.” 

you raise your eyebrows, “like ever?” he nods. “makes sense, you don’t know proper roommate etiquette, because you’re never here,” you snort. it was a joke, but it was true. you were projecting your upset through the statement. he is never here, and you just wanted to know why. did he not like being around you? is he just using this place to shower and store his things? was that it? 

jungkook doesn’t reply to your remark. completely disregarding it when he speaks again, “yeah, i’ve lived on my own before i moved in here, i moved around a lot.” 

“why?” you ask. jungkook never answered ‘why’ questions. always said that it was never your business, that you were always so nosy. 

but this time he sighs, “not really sure.” his spoon stabbing into the cookie dough, scraping the sides for the softer dough. “never really had a reason to stay.” 

that was the most you’ve ever heard from him. no matter how much you wanted to ask why he stayed here, why he stayed with you. you knew that maybe it was pushing a little too far. one question at a time, baby steps, you tell yourself. 

but you couldn’t help but think— wish that you could be a reason to make him stay. 

“must be tiring,” you comment, taking a scoop of dough for yourself. he doesn’t reply after that, instead just smearing some of the dough on your cheek and nose. a gasp leaves your throat, wiping the stickiness from your face and transferring it to his. “you’re gonna give me acne,” you groan. 

“oh relax, i’ll help you wash it off.” he smiles as he stands up, holding his hand out for you to take. he sets the ice cream on the counter, you copy with the cookie dough. both of you travelling to the sink to wash your hands and your faces. jungkook dries his face off and stands by, watching as you splash water on your face. you miss a spot on your cheek, which he helps you wipe off. his thumb coming up and swiping against the dough. his hand is warm, if it were there any longer, you would have leaned into his touch. 

after you both dried your faces off, you both agreed that you’ve consumed enough cookie dough and ice cream for the night. after returning them to the fridge, you make your way back to the couch. the movie almost over, nearing the ending scenes when you sit down. jungkook chooses another movie, legally blonde. “lots of blonde today, thinking of bleaching your hair?” you joke, throwing a blanket on the both of you. 

“you read my mind.” he gasps sarcastically. 

another comfortable silence falls in between you both, the sound of elle woods speaking replaces your conversation with each other. you turn and watch as jungkook’s focus remains solely on the tv. you lean back into the couch, smiling to yourself. there was a bittersweet feeling to this moment. you were happy that jungkook was here, but something felt off. you felt yourself getting lonely. you feel this way every time jungkook is about to leave, it’s like you have a warning signal. like that one time last year where jungkook left for two months, december and january, the two most festive months of the year. you were out buying christmas decorations when you felt something inside of you grow cold. it’s when you got in your car that you saw his text. 

[7:58 pm] jungkook: *jeon jungkook has sent you $1,000* 

[7:58 pm] jungkook: ^^ for rent

[8:21 pm] you: leaving again? 

[8:23 pm] jungkook: yeah

[8:24 pm] you: when r u coming back 

[8:24 pm] you: i just bought christmas decor :( 

[8:25 pm] jungkook: :( sorry 

[8:26 pm] jungkook: also not sure

[8:26 pm] jungkook: i’ll be back to see them though! promise. i’ll help you take them down too 

with that, you went home and decorated the apartment with a christmas tree, a snowman, and stockings with yours and jungkook’s initials hanging below the tv on the wall. waiting patiently all december and the first two weeks of january to see if jungkook would ever come back to see how cute you made the apartment. 

he never did. 

rather, he came back the end of january, when all the festivities were done and the decorations were down. 

“where are the decorations?” he asks, shrugging off his jacket and walking into the kitchen. 

you rolled your eyes, picking up your mug of hot tea. “took them down myself, didn’t think you were coming back.” after that you moved into your room, watching tv and sulking to yourself. sure, you were upset but you shouldn’t have expected anything more from him. it’s become one of the only personality traits that you see in him: ghosting you and coming back like nothing happened. plus, it’s not like he owed you an explanation. you and jungkook were simply roommates, nothing more than that. no matter how much you wanted to get to know him, jungkook always left before you were able to get any deeper than two weeks into his past. 

you close your eyes and shake off the memory. breaking the silence when you speak, “you’re leaving soon, aren’t you?” 

his gaze moves away from the tv. his eyes meeting yours, “why do you say that?” 

you break eye contact before you shrug, “i can always feel it.” 

he doesn’t say anything after, letting you wallow in the feeling washing over you once again. jungkook was leaving again and he knew you knew. there was nothing he could say, because what did you want to hear? that he’ll stay? maybe it was because it’s only been a day, and he’s already leaving. the whole thing makes your head ache. the both of you continue to watch the movie until the end, the clock striking four in the morning. jungkook turns the tv off when you yawn. 

“tired?” he asks. you nod, standing from the couch and turning off the lights. he follows suit, stretching and trailing you down the hall. you walk into your room and lay on your bed, jungkook stays at your door, turning your light off before softly saying, “goodnight.” and then closing your door. 

sometime in the morning, around seven or eight, you feel your bed dip beside you. it’s jungkook, you can tell by the smell of his body wash. a strong fruit smell that always feels like it burns your nose. you’re barely awake, your head still lightly aching. your droopy eyelids beckon you to sleep. jungkook doesn’t say anything, instead just sitting there. 

in his head he’s saying something, apologizing to you for all the times he left you alone in this big apartment. you must have felt so alone, probably scared too. he’s too much of a coward to say it out loud. so for now, in his head, he repeats the apologies over and over again. 

“sweet dreams,” jungkook says. rising from your bed. you can feel it, the comforting weight next to you as you fall back asleep disappears. 

you blame your drowsiness for the way you reach out for his arm, gently holding his hand. he stutters in his step, looking back to you and your connected hands. “don’t go,” you mumble, eyes still closed. 

and for once. jungkook hesitates. for a split second, he wonders how it’ll feel to stay with you. 

but he doesn’t know. and he’ll never know. because in the next minute, he’s slipping his hand away from yours and grabbing his bag. walking out the door. again. 

in the morning you wake to an empty apartment. jungkook’s door is closed and it’s just you again. your feet pad against the cold floor into the kitchen, a paper on the island catching your attention. 

jungkook’s handwriting is specific, you could tell the marks apart from someone else’s. a smile spreads across your face when you read the note. terribly, your heart pounds and your cheeks flush. 

be back in two weeks. 

was supposed to be gone the entire month, but i wanted to stop by and see you. 

sorry i only stayed for a day. 

didn’t say it yesterday, but happy valentine’s day. there’s something in the fridge for you. 

take care. 

Xx, J. 

[tiredneutron]

Glad you liked my history answer! There’s probably a myriad of things I could have said but that was the first that came to mind that wasn’t an already well documented occurrence

and yeah of course I’m trying to be mindful of your boundaries, everybody has different things they are or aren’t comfortable talking about which it totally valid. I’ve asked a couple questions that could potentially be difficult depending on your history so I just want to make it clear that I don’t want you to feel like you have to push yourself or anything like that :)

My perfect day would start with a quiet morning, coffee and maybe a book while I wake up. I’d say I’d like to hang out with friends from lunchtime until the mid/late afternoon, either doing something like paintball or some other group activity. After that a chill evening where I can play a few games I’ve had on my backlog or ones I always come back to - maybe playing a couple group ones with mates online. Then rounding out the day with some music and back to the book to wind down. Obviously food at all opportune moments XD

I think loyalty is something I value highly. Not in that I need to be their highest priority, but more so in that I don’t want to have to worry about them talking shit about me or sharing stuff I’d told them in confidence. Having friends that you can count to have your back on is super important

I mean there’s a bunch of obvious wishes I Could make, things like ending world peace or poverty. Which if I had the chance to end in an instant without “genie repercussions” I would definitely take. But if they were limited to wishes that were just for me personally, I’d probably say like:

1) shapeshifting. Being able to change myself at will is something I’ve always thought would be cool. Not because I dislike the way I look but more because I could do cool stuff at a whim without it being permanent. Being able to match the way i feel or better match an aesthetic just really appears to me. Also, dope ass pranks

2) a steady and passive income. Not anything extravagant because I don’t feel the need to be rich, but enough to live on comfortably and buy things I need/want within reason. If I had that I’d be able to focus on stuff I actually enjoy doing instead of finding a job that just supports me. I’d be keen to make my own business or work on passion projects because I enjoy it rather than because it’s profitable

3) kinda stumped for this one. Maybe something like general improvements to brain function? I don’t want to be smarter or anything, but stuff like better focus and memory would be nice. It’d just make general living that bit easier

Those were great questions! Though the wish one felt like three seperate questions XD It was fun though, hope I answered acceptably

What’s something you’ve lost that you wish you could find?

What is something you wish was a more common thing to discuss casually/among friends?

How do you motivate yourself through tough times/tasks? A motto or phrase, or just a driving motive for progress…

@musicandbooksaremyhappyplace

Absolutely we can start a new threat, that last one was getting a bit unmanageable XD Picture at the top is mostly for my benefit…

My biggest accomplishment? That’s… a lot to think about? I dunno it’s either the fact that I finished high school with an actually good grade or the fact that I’ve pretty much finished my uni without failing any units. I think my sense of accomplishment is very education/progress centred so it’s not as easy to think of stuff outside that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I mean I know it’s probably cliche but honestly I don’t think I go many days without music. It’s honestly such a constant for me because it helps me focus when I need to work and it also helps me keep my auditory sensitivity in check. On top of that music is one of the easiest ways for me to actually feel my emotions because I’ve a bad habit of both only thinking about them and bottling them up. That’s not to mention the fact that I enjoy playing music a ton, so… yeah it’d have to be that for me

I’d love to see that one moment where Greek philosophers were debating how to categorise man and one suggested “featherless biped” so Diogenes ran in the room holding a plucked chicken saying “BEHOLD! A Man” because I honestly think their reactions would have been Hilarious

What’s your go to fast food place? If you don’t get fast food often then takeaway meals or something like that works too

Have you ever broken any bones? Is there a story behind it? (Again skip if not comfortable with this)

What is an activity in your city/area that you love going to? (Cinema, paintball, escape room, etc)

@musicandbooksaremyhappyplace

[hessabookishgirl]

They’ll Never Catch Us by Jessica Goodman

rating⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐.

Jessica Goodman does it again. I was blown away by her first book, They Wish They Were Us, and had such high hopes and was not disappointed at all. This book had me hooked from the start. Both Ellie and Stella were compelling protagonists, who I loved. I couldn't put the book down and finished it in a few hours. Every time I thought I knew who the killer was, another twist was thrown our way. I am excited to see what else is in store for Jessica and her next book. ~Hessabookishgirl on GoodReads

More in depth review under the keep read, will contained spoilers

As stated above, Jessica Goodman is an amazing author and I love every book she has released. This one was no different and had me from the the start. The characters, the plot, the pacing, and the twist were everything I wanted in a book and more.

The main characters are Stella and Ellie Steckler, sisters on the cross-country time that are trying to outdo each other and get into college. Both girls are relatable and easy to imagine yourself as. 

At the start they are both coming off summer. Stella is returning home as the black sheep of the town, and Ellie had some personal issues that sets her whole goal for the sister.

I adore them both, of course I had a favorite of the two, Stella, but they both were amazing. I want to applaud Jessica for writing a main character that was lesbian, without making it her whole identity. 

I have a theory, that when reading a murder mystery within the first 60 pages, you have met the killer. So I made a mental list of all the characters and who could do the murder. Of course there hadn’t been any current murders yet in the story, just the ones from a decade ago, and I was still thinking it was the same person, so I was a bit stumped.

But on page 93, Ellie tells Noah that she told Mila, their secret. Which is they been sleeping together during the summer, Ellie got pregnant and had an abortion. 

To me that gave him Motive. The means, I would say yes, and had yet to have an opportunity, though it would be easy, considering they go to school together and on the same team, he could give her a ride or something.

By the time that Mila goes missing, I was grinning, knowing it had to be Noah, though when they find her phone, I was a bit stumped, but still confident. Maybe he has help from either his girlfriend and friends. He was trying to frame Stella since he was around when the Id fell out of her locker.

Ellie behavior with Nate, farther confirmed it for me, and Ellie was his accomplice, though I didn’t understand why she was helping her sister when she could let her take the fall, but that would have been out character for her.

But everything was falling into place. Ellie was the girl in the photo with Mila the day of her death. Nate and her looks, their talk in the forest. It was all adding up. When Noah attacks Ellie in her room, I was positive I had got it right. Ellie told Stella what happened and it made sense.

And then it didn’t. Like Stella, I notices somethings didn’t add up, like the phone and Id. Plus Noah and Ellie never went into the pit, so why was here shoe not with her body and missing the laces. Why did she had broken ribs and head trauma when she only had a broken ankle when they left her.

I was stumped, when they get to the lodge and Julia ask Tamara to call the police and she says no. I though, HA, it’s her, and yet still I was wrong. Raven being the killer was something I thought at one point during the first 60 pages, just because she was already introduce, but dismissed it early one.

But in the end, it was Raven. Her motive was heartbreaking, and in the end I did feel for her, though I didn’t like her trying to frame my homegirl Stella.

The thing about Jessica Goodman books is that the killer motives are the most terrifying because they are so comment and relatable. We have all bee jealous and wished to one up someone. Wished they would go away so we could shine.

The truth that any of us could turn into a Raven is what makes the story so haunting.

[lovelylogans]

the himbo chronicles

part i | part ii

part of the wyliwf verse.

warnings: kissing, underage drinking, kissing with consent while under the influence, please let me know if i’ve missed anything else!

pairings: roman/logan, offscreen patton/virgil

word count: 8,877

notes: i simply could not resist writing about these good good boys for a moment longer. i love them. this work takes place in the late summer/early fall between logan’s freshman and sophomore year of college, or almost four years after the main storyline. if you need a quick rundown of the characters (i know seven new characters might be a lot to digest!) here’s a quick guide to each of the boys. please enjoy! 

⁂

one had a certain expectation when it came to many college-aged boys living in the same house together. partying. general revelry. chaos. messy surroundings. the loud blaring of video games. more than just a touch of hedonism, certainly. 

logan sanders is a rather atypical college-aged boy. in his past reveries when considering college, he'd thought of the libraries he'd spend hours in, the books he'd pore over, the professors that would come to mentor him. perhaps the occasional errant thought of a party he'd be dragged to, but then his brain had moved to college newspapers and their framing on pieces when it came to excessive drinking and how to interview fraternity presidents concerning their unsettling hazing rituals. 

during his senior year, a fair amount of his fretting had transitioned into how to handle the distance from his father, patton, and pseudo-father, virgil, back home in sideshire, which proved itself solved quite handily; yale is close enough that it's not even a notably long drive. the other worrisome part, though, were how to visit his long-term boyfriend, roman, who was no longer even in the same state. but they'd made it work, over the past year, and logan is currently sitting in an armchair he'd dragged over to the front window of the house, trying and miserably failing to pay attention to some of his class reading.

once he'd gotten to college, though, those social expectations for the rest of his peers had certainly been proven, if simply by virtue of examining the rest of his classmates. his life, however, seems ill-contented to have left it at that; he can safely say that his social circle is not entirely like he'd expected his college friends to be.

for instance, as he hears the creaking of the old wood floors behind him—

"if you start making fun of me for waiting by the window for roman again i will take points from your good noodle chart," logan threatens, and adam scampers off with barely-contained snickering.

he had not expected to have to say that sentence during his college years at all.

there's a hastily-stifled laugh, and logan swivels around to see jordan, who is certainly paying very studious attention to his own class reading.

logan's eyes narrow at him. 

"you usually study in the kitchen," logan says, just barely keeping an accusing tone out of his voice.

"more natural light in here," jordan says, nodding to the window, his lip caught between his teeth.

logan scowls.

"...okay," jordan relents, "and—"

"i knew it."

"c'mon, none of us have met him before!" jordan protests, even as logan is calculating the chances of being able to kick jordan out of here. they are not particularly good; he can hear andrew, derek, and edward loudly talking about their SQUH-SQUH-SQUH SQUAT CHALLEEEEEENGE! in the living room, which is open to the kitchen. the counting of the squats they can do is very noisy, not even factoring in the trash-talk.

"privacy would be appreciated," logan says.

"in this house?" jordan says skeptically, which is a fair point; there are nine of them crammed into five rooms. logan's room is technically a single only by virtue of it being an attic that can barely fit a lofted bed with a desk and a dresser warring for space underneath. logan is fairly certain that janus's shared room with matthew in the basement was never intended for long-term human habitation, either.

"i knew i should have met him at the station," logan says, ruffling the pages of his book. 

"is logan talking about us?" matthew shouts from the living room. his feet pound against the hardwood as he poked his red head around the corner, his eyes going as teasingly pleading as jordan's. "you're not gonna make us miss meeting our step-daddy, are you, mom?"

the "mom" thing is somewhat new, too, and also an aspect of college life that logan had not foreseen. perhaps logan should have seen it coming when he started instituting a chore chart and a chart for good behavior with plastic dinosaur toys as rewards. for reasons that elude him, the boys named it the "good noodle" chart.

he had mostly started the chart after what might have been a joke from janus, in retrospect, but he certainly isn't going to stop now, not when it's been proven to be so effective. 

what he says instead of respond to matthew's question is "have you finished the dishes?"

matthew hesitates, looking back over his shoulder to the countertops.

"...yyeesss...?"

logan arches an eyebrow at him. "if i walk in there, will there be dishes in the sink?"

matthew attempts to model his eyes after jordan, widening them and trying to look innocent. he isn't as gifted at it.

"it would be a shame if you had to be demoted on the good noodle chart because you didn't finish your chores and—" he glances at a notecard— "chirped me about roman."

a pause.

"was that accurate?" logan says. "is it 'chirped?'"

"cory!" matthew bellows over his shoulder.

"yeah?" cory shouts back. 

"hockey trash-talk is chirping, right?"

"yeah!"

"thank you!" matthew shouts back and turns to face logan. "yeah, it's chirping."

"hockey," logan mutters, scrawling this onto the notecard. the influx of sports-related slang to his notecards is another unforeseen aspect of college life. "it's hockey-specific, that's what i was missing."

a beat.

"the sooner you can get them done you can pass it to the next person on the chart. do the dishes," logan adds severely, and matthew stumps off to the kitchen, grumbling something under his breath that sounds a lot like “ugh, mom.”

say what one will about the good noodle chart—it certainly is a successful motivator.

perhaps the plastic bag full of dozens of mini bubble-wands that the boys saw logan receive in the mail this week is doing more of the persuasion rather than the necessity of the chores, or logan himself, but it works.

“logan?”

“hmm?” logan says, distracted by wondering if derek vacuumed the living room or if he dragged around a dining chair make lines in the carpet again.

jordan, grinning, nods to the window, and logan whips his head around just in time to see a taxi pull into the driveway.

the sudden surge of excitement and happiness and eagerness is enough to make him stand up, because roman is right there, logan can distantly see him in a red shirt in the back of the taxi. logan hastily tosses his book onto the nearest table and goes for the front door as quickly as he can without running outright.

by the time he is near enough to roman to see the details of how he’s styled his hair that day, a piece of lint on his shoulder, the way he’s slung his bag on his shoulder, he’s paying the taxi driver. 

he turns around to face logan, and logan loses his breath.

god he’s so handsome.

logan doesn’t know if it’s a month’s absence, or if roman has indeed grown more beautiful by the day, but roman is so lovely. his skin glows in the late summer sun, grinning at logan wide and bright, and logan can’t stand there and drink in the sight of him, chronicling every single miniscule difference that he can, because roman grabs logan in a hug, pulling him close.

logan wraps his arms around roman as tight as he can, burying his face into roman’s shoulder and inhaling; the familiar scent of his cologne, his floral body wash, the gel he uses in his hair.

“i missed you,” roman whispers, breath warm against logan’s ear.

“me too,” logan mumbles, squeezing him tighter. usually, roman hugs him even tighter back, but today, he falters.

“um.”

logan pulls back enough to see the quizzical look on roman’s face. roman nods at something behind him.

“i think we have a bit of an audience.”

logan glances back over his shoulder in time to see all seven of the boys—plus a peek of janus in the back, surely egging on the chaos—jostling for the best view at the window where logan had just been keeping vigil.

“it’s not too late to call the taxi back and go somewhere private,” logan says, turning to face roman again. “i could show you the library.”

roman grins at him. “are you kidding? i’ve wanted to see if you were exaggerating about them for ages.”

logan scoffs. “as if i’m the one prone to exaggeration in this relationship.”

roman’s grin widens, the corners of his eyes crinkling up. “fuck, i’ve missed you so bad.”

what else can logan do but pull roman in by the waist and kiss him?

even muffled by the closed door and the thick glass of the window, logan can hear the boys hooting and hollering and yelling “GET IT, MOM!!!” and “ow OW!” and roman laughs against logan’s lips.

logan smiles into the kiss, and he thinks that roman’s weekend visit probably couldn’t have gotten off to a better start if he’d tried.

⁂

the first thing that someone says when logan and roman walk into the front door is “what the FUCK, mom, you didn’t tell us he was HOT!”

roman swivels to face logan, offended.

“of course i think he’s hot,” logan says, bemused. “i’m dating him. he’s obviously my type.”

“yeah, but,” adam says, and he gestures to roman’s body at whole. “he’s fucking hot, though.”

there’s a rumbling of agreement from the other boys—sans janus, who has obviously met roman before—and roman immediately preens at the attention.

because roman is undoubtedly hot. his brown skin is glowing—logan has seen him wearing facemasks on their video calls enough times that he knows it’s not incidentally clear, perfect skin—and he’s maybe not quite as bulkily built as, say, derek, who can pick up logan and janus simultaneously without breaking a sweat, but roman is strong by virtue of his profession and it shows. 

“thanks,” roman says, grinning.

“i mean,” adam adds hastily, “all respect to you and logan, i mean this in, like, the bros-appreciating-bros way, not the i’m trying to steal your man way.”

“i figured,” logan says dryly, considering that adam, notably lacking in a sense of impulse control, has never offered any romantic inclination towards men before.

“well, roman, this is—everyone,” logan says, and points at each housemate as he says their name.

“adam rothschild—”

“hi,” adam adds belatedly. 

“—matthew van doren—”

“'sup,” matthew says, with an upward nod of his red head.

“—cory hollingsworth—”

cory flashes a peace sign from where he stands beside janus.

“—jordan arlington—”

“nice to meet you, man, logan’s been looking forward to this for fuckin’ ever,” jordan says.

logan, refusing to blush, continues with, “edward morton—”

“shalom, bro,” he says.

“—andrew de loughrey—”

“hey, dude.”

“—derek carmichael, and you remember janus, of course.”

“nice to finally meet you all,” roman says, an arm wrapped comfortably around logan’s waist.

“you’re fucking yoked, bro,” derek says, appreciative. “what does your leg day look like? your quads are insane.”

“thanks, man,” roman says, extending a denim-clad leg with all of his typical grace. his legs are insane, to be fair. “part of the job—has logan mentioned i’m a ballet dancer?”

there’s a chorus of agreement, and so as they relocate, unspoken, to the living room. all of the other boys listen to some of the exercises roman discusses, and roman offers demonstrations of barre warm-ups upon request, his hand on the kitchen island, to great enthusiasm.

logan probably should have guessed that hearing about the workout regimen of a ballet dancer would go a long way in convincing this house full of “jocks” that roman was worthy of their adoptive, same-age mother. he’s pleased that by the time this line of conversation is winding down, it has been proven to be a very effective icebreaker.

even if he is a little grumpy to lose the warmth of roman’s hand where it had been resting on his knee.

however, once that conversation does trail off, logan gets to his feet.

“how about i take you on a tour of the house? i can show you my room.”

“ooh, mom, get it,” andrew says, to great whooping and a wolf-whistle which elicits more laughter from the other boys.

“remember, house rule, sock on the doorknob!” says someone who can surely only be adam.

“i’m making a bad noodle chart now,” logan says, attempting to fight the blush that’s surely creeping onto his face, “all of you have been demoted to the bad noodle chart.”

roman reaches out and takes logan’s hand. “you actually have a noodle chart? i thought you were kidding.”

“i am not kidding,” logan says sourly, directing a glare toward the boys.

jordan, mercifully, provides a very handy distraction by order of shouting out “MARIO KART TOURNAMENT I CALL ROSALINA,” which immediately descends into chaos as the boys fight over who gets peach, or yoshi, or else fighting over their “lucky” switch controllers.

janus meets eyes with logan, rolls his eyes, and promptly siddles his way into one of the four coveted spots to play as wario. somehow janus never has to engage in this arguing, even though logan, the house mother, has to fight with the boys to get to play with isabelle—

whatever. it’s fine. as adam launches himself at jordan to literally wrestle him to the ground for the honor of playing as rosalina, logan takes advantage of this to slip further into the kitchen with roman.

“we could probably make a getaway attempt now, it would be an ideal time,” logan says, a touch anxious; this is roman’s first time meeting the boys, and logan knows better than most people that being in the (boys-and-janus-dubbed) himbo house can be overwhelming. 

“no way,” roman says warmly, squeezing logan’s hand, and logan’s heart flutters in its chest. “show me the rest of the house, c’mon.”

logan shows roman the good noodle chart in its place of pride in the kitchen, taking a moment to detract a gold star sticker from adam for tackling jordan, writing unnecessary violence (mario kart) on the line beneath specifically meant for the reason for the latest detraction in red dry-erase marker. 

he adds a star for jordan without writing exactly why.

roman takes a moment to survey the chart and immediately barks with laughter at the bottom line.

“don’t,” logan grumbles.

“but c’mon!” roman says, delightedly pointing at the section of the chart that has special microscope stickers instead of gold stars.

it says logan workaholism 

and then, in different handwriting and a different colored marker, (and drunk shenanigans). 

“yes, well, you’ve seen the chart now,” logan says evasively, tugging roman along, and roman follows with a smile on his face that’s a bit too big for logan’s liking.

logan hadn’t even been on the chart. but no, he listened to adam’s recommendation for a drink one time (he should have realized that would turn out to be a horrible idea) and now he was on the good noodle chart, specifically so they could detract a sticker. he shouldn’t be on the chart, he runs it!

he still has the most stickers of anyone, though, so there.

logan shows roman their kitchen, which is more well-stocked than one would expect a stereotypical a college kitchen to be. there’s two mini-fridges so that edward can keep kosher. within the normal fridge, and in the cabinets, there’s an overwhelming supply of protein bars, shakes, and powders, in addition to plenty of fruits and vegetables. 

he slips with roman up the stairs, unnoticed by everyone screaming at the four lucky players of the first leg of the mario kart tournament. from a glance at their ridiculously oversized flat screen, janus seems to be swiftly overtaking the lead due to taking advantage of a secret passage.

logan gestures vaguely to the rooms leading off the landing, telling roman who occupied which, as well as the communal bathrooms, but as there are no common spaces on either of the floors that roman has not already seen, he essentially leads roman straight up to the attic.

his room.

he tentatively opens the door for roman to look in and behold it, which roman immediately does.

logan’s lofted bed is crammed against the wall that divides the attic at the apex of the roof, as the opposite wall slants with the angle of the roof. everything is lit by the window opposite the door; logan debates flicking on the overhead light, and decides against it. the afternoon sun does just fine.

logan’s bed is made, his indigo duvet tucked neatly over his white sheets. his desk is pushed beneath the bed, with his laptop, a notebook, and a mug from remy’s café full of pens resting on it, the shelves above the desk that the boys had helped logan install nearly toppling under the weight of all their books. logan’s backpack sits in his desk chair, logan’s dresser shut. the rest of the floorspace is overtaken by a comfy rug and a pitiful excuse for a beanbag chair, which roman promptly sits on, wiggling to get comfortable.

“i like it,” he proclaims. “it’s cozy.”

logan tries to smile at him. the room is cramped and logan knows it.

all the other occupants of the house come from, to put it in plain terms, the same world of wealth and status that his grandparents occupy. as a matter of fact, his grandparents had been incredibly pleased that logan’s roommates had been “up to snuff,” a roundabout way of saying they’re of an appropriate caliber for our ivy-leaguer grandson.

logan knows that it was no coincidence that his roommates offered him his “cozy” room and therefore a lower amount for rent, all of them reasoning that as he had the smallest and least convenient room and if he was not there to supervise the house would surely explode, as part of this offer was surely due to the fact that they knew that his budget did not stretch as far as theirs did. 

for one, he is the only roommate with a job. for another, he is the only one who knows how to budget. 

well, janus would likely be able to figure it out, but he’s never needed to, which is the point.

derek hadn’t even recognized what “those little slips of paper” in logan’s hands were when logan attempted to discreetly coupon during a grocery outing.

educating them on what coupons were was... an experience, to be sure.

logan’s musings are interrupted when roman takes hold of his hand and gently tugs at logan. logan obligingly sinks onto the ground to join him, settling practically on roman’s lap.

“hey,” roman says, voice husky.

“hi,” logan says, in a tone that strikes him as strangely shy.

roman reaches out and makes a grabby hand, to which logan rolls his eyes and settles more decisively on roman’s lap, unable to keep the smile off his face, which roman can surely see, given the way that logan is now directly facing him.

“better?”

“much, thank you,” roman says graciously, settling his hands at logan’s waist and gently squeezing. 

“i must agree,” logan says, resting his hands on roman’s shoulders and squeezing back. roman offers him a slanted smile.

“love, what a long way, to arrive at a kiss,” roman says, pausing to pick logan’s hand off his shoulder and press a kiss to his palm, achingly soft, “what loneliness-in-motion, toward your company!”

“you can’t just quote neruda off the bat, it isn’t fair,” logan complains, despite the fact that his heart has been sent aflutter, but he is cut off when roman’s lips meet his.

oh, how logan’s missed this. he’s familiar with the pressure of roman’s lips against his, the warmth and breadth of roman’s hands wrapping around him, the way logan’s hands fit perfectly on roman’s shoulders, and missing it has been like an ache.

languid, unhurried afternoons in the summers by the town’s lake; inexperienced hands slipping up shirts in their childhood bedrooms; illicit kisses in the gazebo when they were both meant to be at home; his memories seemed to pale in comparison to having the real thing, right now. roman’s heartbeat and the rush of logan’s pulse in his own ears and the sweet, perfect slide of their mouths. they break to breathe, staying forehead-to-forehead.

“but you and i, love,” logan murmurs, “we are together, from our clothes down to our roots: in the autumn, in water, in hips, until we are together—only you, only me.”

“you skipped a few lines,” roman teases.

“i editorialized,” logan says. “taltal is not particularly applicable to our situation, is it?”

“and i suppose it isn’t raining,” roman says, mock-thoughtfully. logan smiles and leans in for more.

roman responds, sliding his hands down logan’s back and eventually coming to grip at logan’s thighs, and logan arches into the touch—

—"ow!”

—and logan leans back, careful to avoid the slant of the roof he’d just hit his head against, putting a hand on where his head throbs in complaint.

“oh, i’m sorry!” roman says frantically. “i’m so sorry, c’mere, c’mere, let me look—”

“it was just a bump, it’s not so bad,” logan says, but he squirms and twists so that roman can see the point of impact.

roman cautiously runs his fingers through logan’s hair, paying close attention, and gently presses his fingers down. logan winces.

“tender?”

“a bit.”

“i’m sorry,” roman repeats, now running his fingers through logan’s hair, careful to keep his touch light.

“i hit my head getting out of bed and getting up from my desk for a full week before i got used to the angle,” logan says with a shrug. “kissing you is the most pleasurable way this could have happened.”

“well, now, still don’t like that clever little brain of yours getting bumped around,” roman says, frowning. 

logan points to where, at this angle, roman can see the protective pool noodle secured to protect himself from hitting his head against his bed while standing up from the bed. janus had cut it for him with an exacto knife. logan is unsure where janus keeps this exacto knife. he hopes it’s hidden somewhere safe; sharp implements were just asking for trouble in this household.

“better now,” logan says, then, when roman’s still frowning, “i’m used to it, really. and besides, i’m the second-shortest in the house; no one else would take this room. well, janus would be the only other person who wouldn’t be constantly hitting his head, but i think he prefers the basement.”

“like an evil lair,” roman grumbles.

“precisely what he said,” logan says dryly. “can you imagine derek in here?”

they both take a moment to imagine derek, who stands at six feet and seven inches tall, slouched over at most points of the room.

“yeah, that’d be a bit of a tight squeeze,” roman acknowledges. 

“besides,” logan says. “there are plenty of ways to be comfortable.”

he adjusts to sit on the comfy, fluffy rug—bought specifically for floor-sitting in mind—and pulls roman along. roman, getting the idea, moves the beanbag to use as a pillow, and lies back against it. logan curls up on the ground with him, resting his head over roman’s heart.

roman takes a moment to switch to scratching his fingernails against logan’s scalp, and logan tries not to shudder with pleasure too obviously.

“i like it in here,” logan says. “i like that i can go out of the window to sit on the roof, if i wanted. i like that i have the clearest view of the night sky. i like that i have a single room. and—”

he points to the side of the rafters that would not be visible to someone standing in the doorway of the room; only from within it are the stick-on, glow-in-the-dark stars surrounding the photographs of logan’s loved ones are visible. the one most visible from here is himself and roman eating lucy’s at the winterfest where they had their first kiss. 

“—i like that there are unique decorating ideas i could only put into function in this room.”

roman kisses logan’s head, and, with that, curled up together on logan’s bedroom floor, they start talking about everything and nothing at all, and logan’s heart feels full and fit to burst with happiness.

⁂

look. matt’s fully aware that he’s cynical about love. it’s a bit hard not to when, growing up, his primary example of love was his dad and his revolving door of brides. 

he’s pretty sure he’s on stepmom number eight, by now, he isn’t really sure, he hasn’t met the latest one. 

(dad scheduled the wedding during peak crew season and matt’s dad, a yale alum himself, is all proud about him being on the team of the first rowing club formed at an american college. so matt didn’t go and his dad might have just assumed he had a regatta then. whatever. matt isn’t too fussed about it, seriously. he thinks her name might be tina? tara? fuck, he should probably work that out before thanksgiving break, shouldn’t he.)

(wait. goddammit. the last girlfriend was trisha. did he end up marrying trisha? he thought his dad dumped trisha because trisha got pissed at him for doing something in a dream of hers. fuck he seriously needs to do some googling before thanksgiving break.)

(wait. shit. it was tori who did the dream thing, because she was super into the astrology-dream-palm reading deal and she’d tried to figure out matt’s birth chart, so now he can flex that he knows he’s a leo sun taurus moon sagittarius rising to the girls he tries to pick up. that happened years ago, god damn it, who the fuck is his dad married to right now?!)

ANYWAYS. he doesn’t really have an optimistic view of love, especially at their age. so back when he’d first been getting to know logan, he’d been pretty surprised to hear that logan had a long-term boyfriend. logan didn’t really seem like the stereotypical college kid clinging to their high school sweetheart, like, at all. 

there had been a girl on his floor freshman year who woke up half the dorm during her kicking-and-screaming fight with her high school boyfriend that she’d tried to long-distance with and ended up dumping after a month. he’d kind of been expecting to hear that logan was going to break up with his boyfriend, because, like, how many childhood sweethearts actually make it?

but no, no screaming fights for logan—honestly, matt’s pretty sure if he heard logan actually yell it would be the scariest thing ever—and now the boyfriend is here.

who is, like, not exactly what matt had expected? he’d thought roman would maybe be a copy of logan, someone else crazy smart and crazy dedicated to school, and, in the kindest way possible, a major nerd. 

roman seems... cool.

like, first of all, he’d immediately understood and talked training routines with the rest of the house, which, like, respect to logan, who goes on runs and keeps his shit pretty tight, but he isn’t exactly the most gym-rat kind of dude. 

roman’s routine sounded really interesting. matt’s got pretty good legs himself—you kind of have to, to be on the rowing team—but roman’s calves and quads and glutes look unreal. man could probably beat them all in a squat challenge tournament without breaking a sweat. 

also, logan keeps himself looking like a eighteen-year-old tax accountant, with his polo and tie, but roman is dressed, like, suave. casual enough, sure,but his short-sleeved button down shirt looked like it was made of silk or satin or some fancy shit like that. it’s unbuttoned to show off the gold necklace he’s wearing. he’s wearing dark jeans at the exact right place on his waist.

logan has not exactly stepped into “going out” clothes, except for like combing his hair and wearing blue jeans. they’re going the pub that logan invariably picks on the rare nights he goes out with the rest of them—a coffee shop by day, a bar by night, and very unfancy.

logan is absently fixing roman’s collar so it sits straight as roman examines himself in his phone’s camera to check out his reflection. he flashes a smile toward logan in thanks. 

logan smiles at him, something in his eyes going soft that matt’s never seen him do before, and—

and, okay, if anyone he knows is smart enough to figure out how love works this early on, it would probably be logan.

⁂

"you sure, bro?” andrew says, leaning against the open car door, not yet sliding into edward’s bmw. “’cause i can dd this time, i think it’s my turn anyway—”

edward’s already shaking his head. “shabbat’s tomorrow, dude. gotta get up early to go to temple anyway, gramps would derail the whole service if i turned up hungover.”

andrew shrugs. “if you’re sure,” he says, and at last he slides into the car that is absolutely filled up with people over the legal capacity. 

usually, logan picks a fit about this, talking about things like seatbelts, but right now he’s perched on his boyfriend’s lap and doesn’t seem to mind at all.

janus, sitting beside them in the very back, is eyeing them like he’s ready to start elbowing them if they get too lovey. which like. logan, getting lovey? unlikely.

(however, the seven of them have made a pact to be as obnoxious as possible if the boyfriend gets too lovey. they didn’t include janus on this, because apparently janus and roman had a brief rivalry Thing in high school and it would probably piss logan off if they started fighting, but anyways. bros take care of bros.)

“are ya ready, kids?” edward asks as he starts the car.

“aye aye, captain!” the other six of his bros and, a little surprisingly, roman, call back. logan looks confused at this, as he usually does, and janus rolls his eyes, as he usually does.

“to the pub!” edward declares, and so they’re off as cory and jordan frantically play rock-paper-scissors to see who gets the aux cord.

jordan wins and as such immediately puts on his playlist, a few of the boys starting to sing along to nicki minaj—oh, sick, it’s the pump-up playlist. hell yeah, that means that beyoncé is coming up. edward fucking loves beyoncé.

edward peeks into the rearview mirror, and he sees roman pressing his face into logan’s shoulder, like he’s hugging him, and logan smiles, looking very pleased.

and as edward drives on, everyone joining in when “love on top” comes on, even over the raucous performance of ther rest of his bros, he could swear he hears roman’s voice, floating up to the driver’s seat even from where he’s singing in logan’s ear.

“baby it’s you, you’re the one i love, you’re the one i need...”

damn, edward thinks to himself, impressed. he’s got a good voice.

logan’s cheeks go a little bit pink, and he smiles, ducking his chin; roman takes a moment from singing into his ear to kiss him on the cheek.

also, that’s cute as fuck.

⁂

“shots?” cory demands. “shots, shots, shots?”

“we just got here,” logan says, usually the sole voice of reason and also being boring, but he doesn’t seem to be standing as firm as usual. that might have something to do with his boyfriend, who has an arm going over his shoulder, saying “hell yeah, dude!”

“getting shots my treat!” cory says, and he rushes into the scrum in front of the bar before logan can protest and try to pay for himself.

janus catches his elbow and allows himself to be pulled along with him, which is cool. janus is probably cory’s closest non-sports friend ever, because he and jan are, one, roommates, but two, kids adopted from other countries as symbols of their white parents’ supposed generosity (he’s chinese, janus is haitian, they handshake meme over white people misunderstanding the culture and history of their countries of origin) so they tend to get each other’s deal more often than other people in the house.

they’re already planning their “oh so sorry we’re busyyy” excuse and activities so they don’t have to go home over thanksgiving break. 

cory leans down to talk into janus’ ear—it’s a friday night, so it’s as busy as it gets here—and practically shouts, “how long have they been dating again?”

“four years,” janus says back; cory has no idea how, but janus can always be heard in any crowd, he never has to shout. 

“are they, like,” cory says. “i mean. are they like. i dunno what i’m even asking. is their relationship, like, nice, i guess?”

janus arches an eyebrow back. “do you happen to remember my previous relationship?”

mm, yeah. asher fleming, resoundingly shady, but very willing to dole out the cash whenever janus so much as pouted at him. which janus seemed to like, so good for him, cory guesses, even though asher fleming was sketchy as fuck, in his opinion. dude could rest in fucking pieces.

“what about that makes you think i am a good person to ask.”

cory opens his mouth, closes it. opens it again.

“hey, what can i get started for you?”

oh thank god. “uhh, nine—wait, ten—ten shots of vodka? boyd and blair, if you’ve got it. and open a tab,” cory adds, forking over his card.

“you got it,” the bartender says, taking it, and then pauses, taking a moment to take stock of cory.

cory flashes a smile at her. she smiles back, and turns for the bar, going to hunt down ten shot glasses and a tray, her brunette ponytail bouncing as she goes.

janus nods after her. “she’s cute.”

“yeah, but she’s working,” cory says, turning to lean back against the bar and scan the pub to see where the rest of his dudes have gone. “i’m like ninety percent sure not asking out a girl when she’s trapped at work is part of bro code.”

janus follows his lead, leaning against the bar.

“they’re adorable,” he says abrubtly, his eyes fixed on the table that the rest of their roommates have claimed, jostling each other for space.

“huh?”

“logan, when he’s with roman. they’re adorable. it’s disgusting. he gets all,” janus’ mouth twists. “sappy.”

“really?!” cory says, stunned. logan, sappy? the closest they’ve ever gotten to sappy logan is after running the full gamut of logan’s stages of drunkness.

“bet you fifty bucks logan initiates pda within ten minutes,” janus says.

“i’ll take that bet,” cory says immediately.

as he approaches the table with the tray of shots, logan reaches over to squeeze roman’s hand and then just hold it on the table. he realizes what he’s started to realize every time he makes a bet against janus, which is that he probably shouldn’t have made a bet against janus. cory literally never wins.

⁂

"hey, man, they made this wrong,” andrew lies cheerfully, setting the glass in front of logan. “you like peach schnapps, right?”

this is a thing he and the other dudes like to do, and logan gets into a snit when they do, but c’mon. andrew has literally unlimited access to cash, why shouldn’t he use it to spoil his friends?

and then logan usually says something about taking care of himself, but like, it’s covering your drinks, dude, it’s not a big deal.

logan gives him a look, a i know what you’re doing here look, a i am about to throw a fit because you paid for me look, but before he can say anything roman breaks into the conversation.

“oh, damn, i was gonna pay for logan’s next drink,” he says, sounding a little disappointed that he couldn’t treat logan to his drink of choice. “how much was that? i’ll cover it and you can get my next one, l, like we’re on a date.”

andrew, skeptical, waits, because this kind of tactic doesn’t work with logan, but—

logan relaxes back into the seat, turning his eyes to andrew.

“oh,” andrew says, and turns to crane at the menu. “uh, since it’s wells night, five or six bucks should cover it.”

“nice,” roman says peaceably, and forks over a ten. “just to cover my bases for my next drink on the tab—hey, who opened that, anyway, and what’s their venmo? i wanna be sure i have it so i can pay my share in the morning.”

“cory did—i’ll pull it up,” logan says, taking roman’s phone from his hand and searching for cory’s venmo profile.

huh. crisis averted.

andrew gives roman a thumbs-up over logan’s head, and roman grins back at him.

⁂

look. there are certain stages of drunkenness, right.

derek could be called a party—what was that word janus said? cone-is-sour?—connoisseur. like, he knows these things, okay. he knows that people have certain telltale signs of what they do when they start getting drunker.

for him, he gets all overheated and red-cheeked first, then he kind of stops having the concept of volume control, then everything sounds like the funniest thing in the world, there’s a bit about hugging his bros and singing along to whatever song the bar’s playing super loudly thrown in there most nights, and then he gets really sleepy, and after that his memory gets blurry. easy, simple way to tell how drunk he’s getting.

logan’s stages of drunkness are... pretty wild. like, holy hell is logan a lightweight. he got, like, very past tipsy after drinking two wine coolers once. they’ve all kind of taken it upon themselves to improve his drinking tolerance, gradually.

anyways. derek thinks he’s got logan’s stages figured out by now, along with the rest of the dudes, and the stages are as follows:

rambling when he talks

Science!

I Love My Friends

wandering off, most likely to fall asleep in a weirdass location

it turns out there might be a stage 1.5, but this stage might only be unlocked when his boyfriend is here.

stage 1.5 of logan drunkness is cuddly.

they’ve been playing the “who can pay for the most drinks for everyone but mostly for logan” game, which means that they’ve been mixing their alcohol (careful to steer clear of beer, though, ‘cause that could turn to beer before liquor during the next round, beer before liquor, never been sicker; liquor before beer, you’re in the clear, derek knows his fuckin’ booze) and trying drinks of what everyone else is trying, seeing if they can come up with a new favorite drinks combo before the night ends.

with one hand, logan’s currently stirring his plastic straw in a cocktail called a bramble. with the other, he’s got his arm flung across roman’s shoulders, occasionally adjusting his stance, and any time he catches anyone’s eyes during a conversation he beams, like, this is my boyfriend, isn’t this so great?!

and, like, look. he knows it’s basically dude code to kind of haze each other a little bit, whenever a new significant other comes around, just to make sure they’re up to snuff, but c’mon.

their uptight, workaholic house mom, drinking on a friday night like he doesn’t have a care in the world? practically unheard of.

derek’s pretty sure he can pin the sudden lack of tension in logan’s shoulders and jaw on the man that logan is currently staring at. roman is telling a story about a drag show he and his girl friends went to see in new york, and logan’s looking at him like roman hung all the stars in the sky, grinning whenever roman looks over at him.

like. come on. how is derek meant to haze that. it’s too fuckin’ cute.

⁂

logan is putting in an order for waters at the bar because while the boys are good at remembering to hydrate for sports reasons, no one ever remembers to hydrate for drinking reasons. a hand gently touches his waist, and, with a whiff of familiar cologne, roman slides in next to him at the bar.

“hey,” logan says, a little too aware that this is the closest they’ll get to a private conversation for the rest of the night.

“hey,” roman echoes, loose and easy with alcohol. something low in logan’s belly thrums pleasantly at the sound.

“check-in?” logan requests. “i know that this can be a—a lot.”

to put it delicately.

roman grins at him. “your friends are cool, this bar is cool. you’re cool. i love you so much.”

logan, who would later put this decision down to being plied with alcohol, pulls roman in by the collar and kisses him hard.

roman seems surprised, just for a moment, before he responds in kind, pulling logan in at the waist and kissing him back, equally enthusiastic.

his boyfriend is visiting, he’s making out with him in a bar like a normal college kid would make out with a significant other, and everything seems wonderful.

roman, looking thoroughly kissed, handles the ribbing and joking the boys start as soon as they get back to the table with good humor, grinning at logan like it’s a private joke between the two of them.

god, logan’s so in love with him.

⁂

"hey, babe?” roman says.

logan hums around his straw, looking at roman with half-lidded eyes. fuck he’s so hot.

roman shakes himself a little, trying to focus, before he asks, “on a scale of one to ten, how chill would the guys be if i suggested we go somewhere we can dance?”

logan swallows, and roman’s eyes follow the of his bobbing adam’s apple.

“probably very chill about it,” he says dryly. 

roman smiles. “and how would you feel about going somewhere to dance with me?”

logan bites his lip, but still smiling.

“probably very enthusiastic about it,” logan says quietly.

roman grins at him. “yeah?”

“yeah.”

with a swiftness that probably belies how eager roman is at the very concept of holding logan close in his arms, roman calls out to derek, “hey, dude, is there a good club around here? i kinda wanna see y’all dance.”

derek puffs out his chest. 

“oh, bro, you are not ready,” he says gleefully. 

adam leans across the table.

“hey, wait, you’re, like, a professional dancer, right? maybe you can teach us a routine!”

oh, now roman has the perfect routine in mind.

⁂

adam has been known to get down at a party, okay. he’s a pretty decent dancer. his party trick is being able to swing around on poles installed into frat basements for “structural integrity.”

but, like, adam also knows that a literal professional probably has some tips, so he’d asked, right, which has now turned into—

“okay, again, from the start, ready?” roman asks, standing at the front of the group. janus and logan are at the edge of the room. adam’s pretty sure janus is recording this on his phone.

they’re also, like, in the center of most of the club’s attention, but roman seems very cool with it. which, likes, makes sense; dancing professionally, crowds come with the territory. the other six of his roommates are standing in loose lines, spaced out so they don’t kick each other in the heads.

“five, six, seven, eight,” roman starts, then, over the sound of six dudes who are all over six feet tall jump-kick then drop rapidly into what roman called a grand plié, which you would probably do slower for a stretch but this is CHOREO, sings, “now from the top, make it drop—”

⁂

logan, after trying so hard not to laugh at the sight of his boyfriend teaching tiktok dance choreography to what, ostensibly, looked like a group of typical frat boys, is attempting to catch his breath and hydrate at the bar. 

well. dehydrate, technically. a vodka soda is certainly working to dehydrate him.

“hey,” roman pants, appearing from the crowd, flushed, with at least two more buttons popped than he’d had when they entered. “hot over there—can i—?”

before he can ask, logan offers his vodka soda, and roman says “thanks” before he gulps down a good portion of it, fanning himself.

“i love dancing,” he says happily.

“i know, dearest,” logan says, perhaps not as dryly as he would if they were not both intoxicated.

“oh! and i love this song!” roman says brightly, as the dj transitions into a new song. 

logan smiles at him; the song is not a recent release, and logan thinks he might be able to place it.

“dance with me?” roman says, his eyes pleading. logan finds himself helpless to resist, and so he drains the rest of his drink.

roman smirks at him and takes hold of logan’s tie, gently leading him to a corner of the dance floor, rather than in the midst of the scrum of it, which logan appreciates; while he is perfectly willing to dance with roman, he is not so adept as to not make a fool of himself in the case of any impromptu dance circles.

there is, logan realizes once he listens to the lyrics, perhaps another motive of roman’s for dragging them into a less populated corner.

i’m telling you to loosen up my buttons, babe, but you keep frontin’, say what you’re gonna do to me, but i ain’t see nothing...

roman’s hands slide from logan’s tie to wrapping around logan’s shoulders, pulling logan so that they’re pressed up against each other, and logan grips roman’s hips, which are shifting sinuously to the beat.

“couldn’t dance like this at the chilton winter formal, could we?” roman says lowly into logan’s ear, and logan snickers.

“not unless we wanted to be lectured by mr. gardiner, no.”

“ugh, he was a fucker, i still haven’t forgiven him for being so strict about your math quizzes,” roman says, scowling. then, with a laugh, “no drawing lots to see who gets breathalyzed, no snooty rich kids to judge us—”

“i’m still surrounded by rich kids.”

“yeah, but your rich kids seem nice,” roman says thoughtfully. “‘cept for janus.”

“he’d take that as a compliment.”

“why did i bring up janus when i’m trying to grind on you,” roman mutters to no one in particular, and he then proceeds to handily distract logan by pressing impossibly closer. 

roman’s hands slide up logan’s shoulders to briefly cup logan’s face, then slide back down to squeeze his shoulders, using the movement to roll his hips against him, and logan’s world narrows down to the heat of roman’s body, the scent of roman’s sweat and cologne, the beat of the song thrumming through to his very bones.

roman twists in his hands, leaning forward, then standing back upright to lean against logan, swaying his hips all the whlie. he reaches a hand lazily back, dragging it down logan’s face before cradling logan’s jaw.

logan twirls roman back to face him again, his grip on roman’s hips tight and possessive, and logan leans in to devour roman in a kiss. he can feel the pounding of hearts against his chest, and they’re so close he’s uncertain whose pulse is whose.

⁂

“—I DON’T GIVE A FUCK WHO TALK BEHIND MY BACK ‘CUZ A BITCH KNEW BETTER THAN TO LET ME HEAR!” jordan screams at the top of his lungs, along with the rest of his bros. all ten of them have piled back into edward’s car, and roman has taken over the aux, which is actually a phenomenal move, he has put on banger after banger. 

edward—the sole sober one in the car—is grinning to himself even as he turns into his parking spot near their house.

they all groan when he turns off the car, and therefore turns off the music.

“yeah, yeah,” edward says, good-natured. “everyone out, i wanna go to bed!”

everyone pours from the car, logan stumbling slightly when he jumps down from the suv.

“i’ve got you, my love,” roman says grandly, and squats before logan. logan snorts, slightly, but then proceeds to clamber onto roman’s back, accepting his piggy-back ride.

“onward!” roman declares, and jordan grins a bit, shaking his head, before he jogs ahead so he can open the front door for them. he watches logan giggle and mash his face into the side of roman’s neck, and he watches roman’s face glow.

the rest of the dudes kind of split off, from there. edward, true to his word, goes to bed; adam, derek, cory, and and andrew sit in front of the tv to start up a drunken game of mario kart; matt pours himself a glass of water and starts chugging it; jordan goes to grab his own water bottle from his room, because he has dish duty next and he doesn’t want to give himself too much trouble.

by the time he’s changed into more comfortable clothes and gotten his water, he runs into roman on the stairs.

“oh! hey, dude,” he says. 

“hey,” roman says. “uh, hey, do you guys have spare blankets and pillows and stuff, and where do you keep them? i figured i’d probably crash on the floor or the couch or something.”

jordan surveys him.

“yeah?” he says, in a tone that’s carefully neutral. they continue down the stairs together.

“yeah,” roman says casually. “uh—i know he’d wanna cuddle, but we’re both a bit drunk, so. got him some water, got him into bed, he fell asleep pretty quick.” 

jordan knows it’s the bare fucking minimum to take care of your drunk significant other, but he feels his respect for roman rise, even just a little bit. that’s a bro move.

“yeah, man,” jordan says. “uh—we’ve got blankets down in the living room, but some of the dudes are playing mario kart, so you might have a while to wait to free up the couch.”

roman brightens.

“oh, sick. does anyone play peach?”

jordan snorts. “you’re gonna have to fight someone for it.”

“bring it on,” roman says.

⁂

roman hums to himself, quietly, as he ascends the stairs. he has to take a couple minutes to juggle the plates in his hands to be able to open the door, but he succeeds eventually.

“rise and shine, nerdo,” roman sings, careful not to be too loud.

he sees logan stir, and, before roman can say anything in warning—

thump.

“fuck!” logan snarls, flopping back in bed with a hand to his forehead, glaring up at the ceiling that has grievously injured him.

“oh, baby,” roman says, setting down his plate on logan’s desk before he rises on tip-toes so he can see logan’s face. “lemme see.”

logan groans and pulls his pillow over his head.

“still a morning person, i see,” roman teases, before he nudges a plastic water bottle into the bed. “drink that, baby, it’ll make you feel better.”

“nerdo isn’t your best work,” logan grumbles, muffled by the pillow.

“yeah, well, i stayed up until three with the dudes playing mario kart,” roman says dryly. “birdo, nerdo?”

logan peeks out in time to grab the water bottle, squirm as upright as he can, and proceed to chug it as mechanically as possible.

“how’d you sleep?” logan says, once he’s drained about half of it.

“eh, fine,” roman says. “the couch is pretty comfy.”

logan frowns.

“it was couch or floor,” roman says, before logan can say anything. “i think we could maybe squeeze to fit up there, and considering we were, y’know—”

“i get it,” logan says.

“i was gonna make you a big breakfast, but,” roman says and hands over a plate with two pieces of toast sliced into triangles and slathered with crofter’s. “figured you’d like this better.”

logan smiles, taking the plate, and then leans wildly out of his bed in order to cup roman’s face and kiss him good morning.

the kiss is good. it’s very good. but—

“your breath stinks,” roman says, and logan chucks a pillow at him.

“you aren’t exactly a morning rose, either,” logan grumbles, and roman snorts, taking a bite of his own crofter’s with great fervor.

over their breakfast—logan in the bed, roman on the beanbag—they talk about their plans for the rest of the weekend; going on a walk around campus, going to see logan’s favorite spot in the library, getting tacos from the best little spot in town for lunch.

“granted,” logan says thoughtfully, “i have these ideas in place today, but we’ll see how the boys interfere with it.”

“i’d be fine if they did,” roman says.

“yeah?” logan says.

“yeah,” roman says. he grins up at logan. “wanna explain why they kept calling me step-daddy when i was making us toast?”

logan flops back on the bed with a groan, and, even with all of his theatrics, roman can tell logan’s very pleased that his boyfriend and his friends get along.

(they absolutely get along. roman has already promised to record a dance tutorial for them to “dancing queen” next.)

⁂

notes: major thank yous to @teacupfulofstarshine and @airiervessel for helping me flesh out the boys! songs in the order they’re mentioned: “love on top” by beyoncé, “wap” by cardi b. ft. megan thee stallion, “buttons” by the pussycat dolls, “thot shit” by megan thee stallion, “dancing queen” by abba.