#WHERE IS THE DRAMA ? WHERE IS THE INTRIGUE ? < guy whos subjected himself to reading fantasy romcom manhwa

[lavenite]

whats worse then reading a bad comic imo is reading a comic thats objectively alright but so inoffensive to the point of boredom

[yyxgin]

my only hate, my only love (kim seungmin)

pairing: kim seungmin x fem! reader genre: enemies to lovers au, highschool au             angst, fluff word count: 11 k requested by: @joons-asscrack​ warnings: swearing, mentions of broken home 

synopsis: A high school Shakespeare club angrily splits into two groups when they can’t agree on the correct interpretation of Romeo and Juliet. One group thinks it’s a cautionary tale about the stupidity of youth and shallow lust; the other group of youth thinks it’s a beautiful tragedy about poisonous hatred conquered by love. Reconciliation seems impossible-- then a person from one group falls in love with a person from the other. 

(this dea is not mine !! I found it on pinterest under the tumblr user @/sarah531, however, i looked for the account and couldn’t find it. if you have any idea what the current @ of the owner of this prompt is, please let me know !!)

I actually used a lot of passages from this essay of Romeo and Juliet since I didn’t actually read it, all passages of the characters that talk about the play and are in italics belong to the rightful owner of this essay.

1.

“A glooming peace this morning with it brings. The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head. Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things. Some shall be pardoned, and some punished. For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo.” your voice resonates in the quiet classroom, your words followed by more silence as you drop to your seat and close the book, placing it onto your table. The reality sinks in as the entirety of your English literature class doesn’t dare to say a word, the moment you finish reading the oh so famous Shakespearen drama making everyone lose themselves in their thoughts.

Your professor looks you in the eye, smiling a little. “So? What did you think about it?” she asks, moving her glasses further up her nose with her pointer finger, gazing onto the few people that actually chose this class as their subject of choice just to get more credit. You liked reading, to be honest. Everything about this class seemed inviting-- there were only a few people there and those that did actually care about the literature itself enough were thoughtful enough to hold a proper conversation with. You actually made friends with a lot of your classmates, your brains working at the same frequency as your shared ex gifted child burnout syndrome draped over your brains way too often after arriving to high school, making you connect on another level as you tried to soothe each other’s nerves and be there for each other. It was no secret that only the biggest of nerds went to the English literature classes, but you were okay with that idea.

You snort out a laugh, raising up your eyebrows in amusement. Your classes were always open for discussions, so you didn’t even have to raise your hand to speak-- one of the perks of being the professor’s favorite. You open your mouth to begin talking, when a voice cuts you off, beginning the discussion instead.

“Well, I think it was pretty,” mumbles a boy from the corner of the room, the only one you didn’t even particularly like in this whole class, making you roll your eyes. It was hard, being in the class of your favorite professor when you had to fight over being her favorite student with Kim Seungmin himself-- the devoted dandy boy, the member of the book club, the student council president. You despised everything about him only from one sole reason-- he was the top of the class. That was enough for you to hate him. 

You’re asking why? Well, you were supposed to be the top of the class, of course. And you were, for the main part. You didn’t share any other classes with him, making it easy for you to ignore his existence, but it just so happened that your favorite class also had to be the one where you had to see his face so often.

He was your moral enemy.

“Care to tell us more, Seungmin?” professor Jung asks, motioning for your classmate to continue speaking, to tell her all of his thoughts. You knew Romeo and Juliet must have been her favorite play by the smile on her face, eager to hear all of your reviews and thought processes while reading the piece.

“Well, I think it was quite poetic. Tragic, even. I like the way Shakespeare portrayed the prejudice and ending of a long conflict just with the power of love.” he nods, licking his lips after his bold statement, making you laugh out loud this time. 

All the eyes of your classmates turn to you, even your seatmate-- ever so laid-back and chilled out Han Jisung furrows his brows at your sudden outburst. You were never the one to turn attention your way in classes, the sight of you not reddening under the gazes of the people in the room nowhere to be seen surprising even you.

“Is there something funny, Y/N?” asks the professor, calling you by your first name. You liked the way it sounded, cringing at every teacher that called you by your last name as if you were a legal adult with your life figured out. This seemed more friendly-- it seemed kinder, even. You liked the way it made it feel like your professor actually cared about your opinion.

“I think there is, yes,” you nod, giggling to yourself again. 

“And what is that?” she seems intrigued, taking a few steps to your desk, listening to what you have to say.

“Well, I think what he said is ridiculous.” you point out, a shock spreading on your professor’s features, making you continue. “The only thing tragic about this whole play is how Shakespere portrayed the fake image of love. I mean, Juliet was only 13, don’t you think it was a bit early to get married to a man? After a day, that is?” you explain, intriguing your classmates even more.

“It was the 16th century. It was normal to get married young back then,” mumbled your enemy, Kim Seungmin from his seat, locking his eyes with you through the classroom. 

“Of course I know that,” you ironically smile at him, rolling your eyes in the process and looking back at your professor with a genuine smile this time, explaining more of your point of view, “I think it portrays girls as boy-crazy. Like love is everything they are made of and that they are worthless without a partner-- and that’s why Juliet chose to kill herself. If anything, I think it portrays the stupidity of the youth the most.” 

“So you think she was stupid just because she killed herself upon seeing her loved one dead?” Seungmin’s brows are raised now, looking at you as if he was mocking you.

“Well, Romeo did the same thing, so yes. I think it was stupid of them. They were reckless, the whole situation was. How could they know they were in love when this all happened in one day? Nobody can fall in love that quickly.” you mutter, shaking your head in disbelief.

“I think the play portrayed love at first sight beautifully,” grins Seungmin, the teasing smirk on his face bothering you so much you want to wipe it off his face. Is he really that ridiculous?

“There’s no such thing. And what were the families doing, after all? Arguing without even knowing why? For all we know, their ancestors may have hated themselves because they accidentally took their cow and they decided to kill each other for that?” you scoffed, your voice raising increasingly.

“Now that’s ridiculous.” rolls his eyes Seungmin, taking you over the edge, your voice raising with every spoken word.

“Your view of love is ridiculous. If I knew the boy I was eyeing was my family’s enemy, I wouldn’t bat an eye before dropping him, but no, she chose to marry the guy. Did she really have such twisted morals?” you scoff, a part of your class laughing at your outburst.

You hear a few quiet, amused ‘yeah’s and ‘she’s actually right’s from everywhere around you, only flooding your ego more as you recognise that your point of view is shared by more people and you aren’t actually crazy. 

“I think love is more important than rivalry.” speaks Seungmin, cocking his head to a side, teasing you just by the look on his face, your eyes scanning his features as you hear a few other comments from your classmates around you. Some girls even go as far as cooing at his romantic statement, making you laugh and roll your eyes at them. Were they all this ridiculous? 

“She was thirteen!” you argue, screaming. That is all that takes professor Jung to interfere your heated discussion, clapping her hands in authority, making everyone’s heads snap to her figure standing in front of the classroom with an amused look on her face. 

“Looks like we have quite the discussion here,” she points out, seeing your angered face. 

“Yeah, because Seungmin’s point of view is stupid!” you grunt, making her point a scolding look into your skull that almost makes you shrink in your seat in embarrassment.

“Y/N, no one’s point of view is stupid. Literature is all about the impertretation,” she states, earning a few nods and hums from your interested classmates, “now, who agrees with Y/N’s interpretation of the play?”

A few hands shoot out into the air, Jisung’s following as you angrily nudge him into his side, making you grin. No way your friend is going to support your moral enemy’s idea-- he was your friend, after all. Something inside of you is telling you that this whole feud wasn’t only about the play anymore,. You were fighting with Kim Seungmin, and that was enough to keep you standing by your point.

“And who agrees with Seungmin’s interpretation?” she asks again, searching through the classroom. It seems like the amount of people that agree with your classmate is about the same as the amount of people that agree with you, making you annoyingly roll your eyes at the realisation that you once again didn’t manage to outpower your moral enemy. 

“I see the classroom has split into two teams,” she grins, nodding her head, “well, I did think you were going to have different opinions on this, but I didn’t think it was going to get so heated over here.” she points out, switching her gaze from you to Seungmin and back, as if to scold you and support you with your antics all at once.

“Yeah, well, it’s not my fault Y/N can’t appreciate one of the most important pieces of English literature-”

“I’m all about supporting, if it was actually good and meaningful-”

“Stop it, you two!” she scolds you, making both of you shut up and finally provide some silence in the room. “Well, since you all look like you have different opinions on the topic, let’s try a fun experiment. I was going to make you all write an essay on the play by yourselves, just like we usually do, but I think this is going to be much more fun for all of us.” she states, smiling to herself like a happy child on Christmas. You wonder what’s racing through her head as she searches through the classroom, locking eyes with you, then continuing.

“I want you all to write an essay and do a presentation on Romeo and Juliet-- you can write about anything, whether it is your ideas, what you took from the play, what is your view-point on it. But you have to write it with the person who has the exact opposite opinion on this play. So this way, we can get the story from two points of view. Let’s see what you agree on, what you don’t, make it a discussion, I don’t care, just make it make sense. Do you understand me?” she smiles and you swear you can already feel what is going on before she says it, making your head hurt and breath hitch in your throat.

“And since Seungmin and Y/N seem to have the most different opinions on this, I am picking them as a pair-- no, there’s no way for the two of you to change.” she says before you can even open your mouth to argue back, leaving you to stand up from your seat just at the time when the bell rings.

“But miss Jung-” 

“I want it done until the end of this month.” she smiles, taking her things and leaving the classroom, letting the thought sink in. You lunge yourself back to your seat, defeated and left to process the fact that you now had two weeks to work on a project with Kim Seungmin-- your biggest enemy.

A sigh escapes your seatmate’s mouth upon the scene, running his hand through his hair in frustration. “That’s what you get for always picking fights with him.”

2.

That’s how you end up in a coffee shop two blocks away from your house. You didn’t exactly ask for Kim Seungmin’s number-- you weren’t in the 2000s anymore-- you swiftly added him on Facebook in order to get this over with so you wouldn’t have to meet with him anymore. Yes, you were mad at Mrs Jung for pairing you up with him, but you still adored her and wanted to do well, so that’s why you chose to do what you had to and arranged a meeting with him.

Kim Seungmin appears in the coffee shop in his usual cozy demeanour-- oversized sweater and everything, with a backpack hanging off his shoulder and a serious look plastered on his face. He places his copy of Romeo and Juliet onto the table and sits his figure into the chair right in front of you, sighing heavily as he stares at you from under his eyelashes, voice low and defeated.

“Hi.” he greets, resting his back against the head of the chair, waiting for you to take initiative. You were the one who arranged this whole thing in the first place, so it was kind of your responsibility now in his books.

“Hello,” you cleared your throat. You felt like you were sitting there with the devil himself, just begging yourself in your head not to explode like a raging volcano with every movement he made that always somehow ended up irritating you. It was like his aura was everything you despised-- his collected way of discussing and his calm way of thinking getting on your nerves with every sigh he sent your way.

“So… how do you wanna go around this?” he asks, raising his eyebrows at you in question. 

You sigh back at him just to show him how annoyed you are by your professor’s choice of your partner, bringing your hands to rest them on the table and cracking your knuckles in nerves. You didn’t meet his eyes, you felt too intimidated to do so in the moment, before you spoke up and managed to get your point across. 

“Well, since we have to gather both of our viewpoints in the essay, I think we could just start of by telling the other one what topics we want to talk about so the other one can debunk them.” you mumble, suddenly feeling nervous by the possibility of your idea being rejected. If you could disappear on the spot, believe me, you would. 

Seungmin hums from his seat, nodding. “Seems reasonable.”

You try your hardest not to let out a relieved sigh, nodding back at him. “I brought some notes.”

You did some preparation for this. Well, a lot of preparation. There was no way Kim Seungmin could catch you unprepared at your study meeting. You wanted to prove to him that you were worth so much more than sharing your grade with him and if he had any snarky or teasing remark, you best believe you mastered up a response just as spiteful, if not more than what could possibly leave his lips in the moment. You weren’t here to embarrass yourself. You were here to look smart. Smarter than Kim Seungmin. 

“Perfect.” he just mutters, taking the sheet of paper you were offering to him from your hand, placing it on the table in front of him and skimming his eyes through the lines of text you scribbled down yesterday evening.

The silence makes your palms sweat. It makes you nervously bite down on your lower lip. You felt embarrassing-- you were never the conservative type. All this time, you used to hate your classmate from afar. You never actually spoke to each other, all you did to express your hatred for the boy was in the way you always rolled your eyes when he spoke up in class, or you sighed when Mrs Jung was complimenting him in front of everyone, making sure he heard you. You don’t know what broke in you that day-- you were quite the shy type, to be honest. You didn’t like to be the centre of attention. What were you even thinking by all of this?

“I don’t think we should mention their age as an argument,” he says, finally meeting eyes with you. 

“Why?” you ask, dumbfounded.

“Because as I already said, it was long ago. People used to marry young.” he shrugs, offering the sheet of paper back to you with a judging look on his face.

“Okay and? My point still stands. They were too young and reckless.” 

���I also don’t think we should talk about the sex part.” he concludes, landing his hands into his lap.

“Why? Because it’s controversial?” you teasingly grin at him, waiting for his response.

“No. Because it clearly brings nothing to the table about our arguments. It doesn’t even really play a big role in the whole thing, so I think it’s useless to mention,” he shrugs, looking at your face. It felt like his eyes were studying you, judging you. It was hard to keep eye contact with him-- so you didn’t. You averted your gaze out of the window, opting to watch the passer-bys instead. 

You sigh, waiting for him to say something against your notes again. Of course you could expect this-- there was no way Kim Seungmin would agree with anything you’re trying to say in the matter at all.

“And the point about Rosaline is a little over the line as well…” 

“What do you want me to put in the essay if you’re just going to tell me it’s unreasonable and over the line, huh?” you voice out, pinning your eyes onto his shocked figure, “it’s supposed to be an essay on everything I didn’t like about it, so that’s what I’m going to put in it and your job is to comment on my arguments. Just like my job is to comment on what you loved about this piece of shit of a play, and that’s what I’m going to do, so fuck off.” you growled, standing up and taking your things with you, too frustrated and hot-headed to continue the discussion.

Only Kim Seungmin could make you this mad and you hated him for it even more.

3.

You hear your door open, revealing your mum standing in the doorway with a mug of hot tea and a soft smile playing with her features. You sigh, playing with your pen in your hand, waiting for her to say what she needs to say and leave so you could have some silence to finally work.

“Sweetie, you should really relax for a while. You’ve been studying for the whole day…” she mumbles, taking the tea to your desk and running a hand through your hair. You fight off the urge to pull away from her, knowing damn well it would hurt her feelings, so you just opt to nod at her face and faking a smile.

“Yeah, sure, mum.” you respond, but make no effort in getting up from your chair and moving to your bed. It was already late in the night and your mum was wearing her pyjamas, signaling that she was going to sleep. She always went to sleep early, because she needed to wake up in the early hours of the day to go to work, but you usually didn’t go to sleep earlier than midnight anyway-- homework was taking you too much time sometimes.

“I mean it. You’re doing great job in school, sweetie, but you have to lay off for a while or else you’ll overwork yourself.” she says affectionately, making you grunt on the inside.

“Okay, okay, go to sleep now, good night mum…” you mumble, waiting for her to finally leave you alone. 

“Are you telling me to go away?” she asks with a hint of laugh in her voice that you know for a fact is fake, because the expression on her face looks hurt. You hate to see that face, because it makes you feel guilty, but you really can’t help yourself sometimes.

“No.” you mutter, shaking your head.

She just stares at you for a while, biting down on her lower lip, before she hangs her head low and sighs out. She turns around, taking a few steps to your door, turning around only for a moment when she stands in the doorway and whispers a quiet ‘good night’ at you, closing the door behind her and disappearing into her bedroom. 

You feel a sense of relief coming over you. Of course you weren’t going to sleep yet, but she didn’t have to know that. She didn’t have to know a lot of things. 

The small, old copy of Romeo and Juliet falls into your eyes in the corner of your desk. You had to borrow your book from the library and you hated how some pages were torn and the ink was so old it was hard to read sometimes, but you couldn’t afford to buy yourself one, because you were saving up for college and every cent counts in your household. 

You take it into your hands, reading over the passages you bookmarked when you were first reading the book, wanting to refresh your memory with the lines that stood up to you and made you snort at how ridiculous the book truly was again before typing them down into the document you had opened in front of you.

“Love is heavy and light, bright and dark, hot and cold, sick and healthy, asleep and awake- it’s everything except what it is!” it says. You run your fingers along the words, the curves of the ink cutting you like a knife. Love is all of these things-- it’s terrifying and it’s unpredictable. It sounds scary in your ears and you’ve seen it right in front of your eyes- love is everything except what it is. 

Love isn’t heavy and light, bright and dark, hot and cold. Love isn’t sick and healthy. Love is pain. It takes everything you have, it ties you down, it makes you do things you would never do if you weren’t in love. It intoxicates you and makes you make bad decisions. When you love, you’re irresponsible. You’re like a storm. 

Your mum and your dad were in love. Or, your mum always told you they were.

So if your mum and your dad were in love, they were supposed to be together through the heavy and the light. Through the bright and through the dark. Through sick and healthy. They were supposed to be there for each other. 

They were both really young when they fell in love. You understand-- they were reckless and they were stupid. 

But did your father really have to leave you? 

Love is nothing from the above. Love is sick and love is just a play. It would be stupid to be hung up on that idea that Kim Seungmin so desperately wanted to believe in.

4.

“So, how far did you get with the essay?” asks Jisung on your lunch break, looking at you with expectation. You told him about your planned meeting with Seungmin, but you didn’t get around to telling him just how it went yet. 

“Oh, that…” you mumble, letting out a dry chuckle, “well, he told me my ideas are stupid, so I’m just going to write it by myself and send it to him so he can add his points into it.” you shrugged, taking a bite from your sandwich, stuffing your cheeks with the food so you didn’t have to explain any further.

Jisung sighs in front of you, rolling his eyes like every time you gush about Seungmin and how he gets on your nerves. “Can you lay off that Anne and Gilbert attitude already?”

“Stop saying that, that’s disgusting,” you scrunch up your nose, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Well, it looks like you two are doing a whole 21st century remake right in front of our eyes, though,” chuckles Jisung, teasing you further, “with that whole top of the class students that hate each other and act like children just because they don’t agree on something. It’s only a matter of time before you fall in love.”

“Ew,” you fake a gag, rolling your eyes at him, “that is so not happening.”

“Yeah, sure, tell me about it at your wedding in a few years.” he mutters.

“I am not getting married in my whole life, marriage is wack,” you roll your eyes at him for the millionth time, the gesture so familiar to you over the past few days. Everything seems to annoy you recently. Maybe you were just going through a bad patch, who knows?

“Oh would you look at that, Y/N’s acting like a Grinch again,” giggles Jisung, ruffling your hair in the process just to annoy you even more, making you pull away abruptly from his touch.

“That doesn’t even make any sense! Grinch hates Christmas, not fake images of love.” you argue back, finishing your sandwich and rolling the plastic that was covering it into a little ball, throwing it into his face to shut him up.

“Yeah, sure.” he snorts, throwing the ball back at you. You catch it in your hands with a promise to yourself to throw it out when exiting the cafeteria later, when you feel a light tap on your shoulder that makes you turn around.

The sight in front of you makes you shoot your eyebrows up in shock, leaving you flustered and surprised. “What do you want?”

“I just wanted to ask when we can hang out again to work on that essay, since it’s, you know, like half of our final grade…” mutters Seungmin, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly and pointing his eyes at you, casually waiting for your answer.

“Oh, we’re not meeting again. I’m just going to email you the file when I’m done.” you shrug.

“But that’s unfair to me?” he offers, eyebrows shooting up and his hand falling to his side.

“Why would it be?”

“That gives me less time to work on it, you know. And you have to add your comments to my work anyways, so it would mean you’ll have to write those at the last-minute.” Seungmin explains, his tone of voice calm and collected, just as always, after all, making you roll your eyes and fume up again. 

“I don’t really care,” you shrug, smiling ironically at his face.

“Why- what?” he asks, looking genuinely concerned and confused, eyebrows scrunching up and his voice raising a little by an octave.

You don’t answer him, though. You’ve had enough of his snarky comments and remarks in the coffee shop-- you weren’t going to meet up with Kim Seungmin again, even if it meant the possibility of getting a bad grade from your most favorite and treasured subject. 

After the boy is met with silence, all he does is scoff at you, shooting his arms up into the air and shaking his head in disbelief. “You’re such a fucking child, oh my god.”

And with that, he strides off, your eyes following his every move to make sure he doesn’t come near you again. His steps are quick and angry, and this is actually the first time you’ve seen him get so frustrated with something. You take pride in getting him over the edge. You were finally even. He doesn’t look back once and you think you finally made it.

“Stop staring, Anne.” you hear from your friend sitting right in front of you, making you break away from your bubble and taking a look at him, seeing him amused and with a teasing grin plastered on his face.

“Fuck off.”

5.

“Peace? I hate the word as I hate hell and all Montagues.” Mrs Jung reads out, when you start dozing off in the class. You’ve read the play a lot of times already, making you feel bored even by the repetitiveness of your class. You understand that she is just waiting for all of you to turn in your papers, not wanting to move on from Romeo and Juliet just yet, but you find yourself slowly falling asleep under the spell of her voice and the fact that you spent the whole night studying again. The sentence startles you awake, making you chuckle to yourself.

‘Peace? I hate the word as I hate hell and Kim Seungmin himself,’ you think. If Han Jisung could read minds, he would be surely teasing you with another smart remark of how much energy you’re spending by hating the poor boy and how it’s not possible for you to not fall in love with him soon after how much time he spends in your mind, but Han Jiung can’t read minds. And even if he could, you’d just tell him to fuck off. Because he is wrong.

“Am I boring you, Y/N?” asks Mrs Jung, fully startling you awake as you straighten your back and properly sit on your uncomfortable chair again. 

“Of course not!” you call out, blinking rapidly to keep your eyes from closing on themselves again. 

“Oh, I thought I was, by how tired you seem by listening to me.” she just smiles at you, then continues talking and looks at the other students in your class, leaving you to blush to yourself without giving you more attention. 

You chew on the inside of your cheek, looking around the classroom. You feel embarrassed. You really didn’t mean to give your favorite professor the wrong idea-- you just got to bed really, really late yesterday. It happened often, but you guess that it just took a bigger stroll on you today. 

Your eyes meet the orbs of your moral enemy, that just gazes into you with intensity. You quickly look away. Why is he doing that? His eyes look worried. He’s not supposed to look at you in such a way-- he’s supposed to laugh at how you’ve just been scolded. He just won a few points to himself by paying more attention than you, he just got on the better side with your favorite professor, yet he doesn’t look like he’s enjoying it at all. 

A small piece of paper catches your interest from the corner of your eye. You read through it, recognising the loopy handwriting of your seat-mate.

did you stay up late studying again?

You sigh, taking a pen out of your pencil case and neatly writing under it, trying not to get caught by Mrs Jung. You really don’t want to get scolded for the second time today.

yeah

you should probably relax a little, your grades are already good to begin with

You roll your eyes at the note. Of course he’d say something like that. In elementary school, your grades were good without even trying. All you had to do was pay attention in class and write what you could remember, but now, in high school, everything is a little harder for you and you suddenly weren't good enough anymore. And yeah, you could say that grades don’t even matter that much, but for you, they meant everything. 

yeah that’s bc i study jisung

now you’re falling asleep tho how is that helping

You don’t answer him. It’s not that he’s wrong. It’s just that… you’re not going to tell him that he is. Yes, you falling asleep wasn’t helping you in the tiniest, because the less you pay attention in class, the more you have to study at home, and the more you study, the less you sleep, which means you’re going to fall asleep in class the next day and it’s just an endless cycle.

sorry :( but just remember that grades aren’t everything Anne you can get an F once in a while

thanks

You write. But you don’t really mean it. 

Because if you get an F, you’re not going to be the top of the class anymore.

And how will you get a scholarship if you’re not?

6.

You arrive to the library, sighing to yourself as you quickly take your coat off and smile to Mrs Kim, the older librarian that let you work here part-time for the time being. You didn’t get paid much, but you loved the job. For the most part, it was easy-- there weren’t many people coming to libraries these days anymore and you could just stay behind the counter, occasionally letting people borrow books and writing them into the evidence. You had a lot of time to study there as well, it was silent and calm. Sometimes, you felt like your heart could rest a little in the small place.

“I’m sorry for coming late Mrs Kim, but the bus was late so I couldn’t get here sooner-” you rush out out of breath, dropping your backpack under the counter, ready to change seats with your employer that was done with her shift for the day.

“It’s totally okay, sweetheart, you know there’s no rush.” she smiles at you, reassuring your nerves with the gesture. You were glad you had such caring people around you. You met with Mrs Kim more than you did with your own mother-- it was strange, but comforting to know that at least someone close to a parental figure was still in your life.

Maybe you just hung yourself into older, reliable people because you lost the security you had in your own mother. Or because you didn’t even have a father to begin with. You don’t know if you’re doing the right thing, but in your heart, it surely feels like you are. 

You nod at her, seeing her leave and wave at you as she takes her things with her before you’re left alone with your thoughts. You sit yourself on the chair, looking around for a moment, before you take out your notes and start working on your homework. The library felt like a safe space-- not that you didn’t have the silence and comfort at your own home, since you were home alone all the time anyway-- but here, at least you felt like there was a reason behind your loneliness. You were at work, after all. 

You wonder if things would have been different for your mum if she didn’t have you so young. Maybe she would still be happy with your dad-- maybe she wouldn’t have to work a lot just to get you through life. It’s not easy, raising a child on your own when you are a child still, you realise that. And your mother does a good job-- at least you think she is-- but sometimes, you wish your life would be different.

You curse at your mother for being so reckless when she was young. If you’d be born later, she’d finish school. Give you a better life. Maybe, you would even have a father. You would be a little happy family, going on vacations and enjoying your lives.

Now, you’re stuck with trying your hardest to be the best at everything. To have your life figured out, because at your age, your mum surely didn’t. You know you shouldn’t blame her-- you need two people to create a child, but there was no other person for you to blame. 

You try your hardest to get a scholarship, because you can’t pay for college on your own. You work so your mother doesn’t have to stay at her job over-night so often just to pay the bills. You educate yourself to be smart and successful-- because that will surely change your life for the better, right? 

Suddenly, you hear the bell above the door of the library ring, startling you away from your thoughts. You look that way with a polite smile on your face you’ve taught yourself while working at customer service, ready to greet the customer with fake enthusiasm, when your mouth hangs open without a word. Startled would be an understatement to the feeling you feel at the moment.

“Hello,” the person greets politely, looking at you momentarily before going up to the counter with a stack of books in his hands. He looks up after placing them on the surface and that’s the moment when you see he realises your presence fully-- after seeing his face fall into shock.

“Good afternoon,” you grunt ironically, taking the books closer to yourself so you can check them in, recognising his eyes following your every move from the corner of your eye, “your ID?” you raise up your eyebrows at him, annoyance apparent in your features.

“Oh, right,” he catches himself, quickly patting every pocket of his clothing, until he puts up his hand into his backpack and browses through his wallet, slender fingers offering you the little card so you can scan the code.

The computer freezes for a bit and you curse to yourself-- did it really have to happen now? With Kim Seungmin watching you like an alien? The computer at your local library wasn’t the newest, per say. It didn’t even have to be, your usual customers were just as old, if not even older than that piece of machinery, they didn’t mind waiting. But now wasn’t the time for the computer to freeze. You feel yourself losing your nerves, bouncing your leg up and down, angrily glaring at the screen. 

A minute passes, than another-- could it even get worse than this? 

“So,” clears his throat Seungmin, making you snap your head up to meet his gaze, “what’s up?” he asks, shocking you again. 

“Why do you care?” you snap, glaring at him instead. How dare he act so casually after saying all those mean things to you? You couldn’t believe your ears. 

“Because you’re my classmate…?” he furrows his brows, tone of voice cautious, sounding like a question instead.

“And?” you ask, watching the screen of the computer instead, cursing at the new electronic system Mrs Kim decided to install. It would have been so much easier if you could just scribble down your signature on a small piece of paper and take the books like you used to do before, but no, she was all about innovation. 

“And I thought we were civil enough for a casual conversation,” he rambles, making you snort in disbelief.

“Oh, we are anything but civil.” you respond, losing your nerves, taking your hand and angrily hitting the top of the screen, as if it was supposed to make the computer work. You violently curse under your breath, hitting it a few times, each one more lightly, until the program starts to work, finally registering the books back into the library evidence.

“Why do you even hate me so much?” he asks after you stop, looking at you with annoyed eyes and a look worthy of an oscar-winning actor. He didn’t care, you knew that, but he sure looked like he did.

You just scoff at him, shaking your head. 

“Goodbye,” is all you offer him, his library ID in your hand, before he takes it and rolls his eyes at you again, like many times before. With that, he leaves-- just like you wanted him to-- and you can finally relax. 

You sigh out, taking a seat on your chair again, angirly shutting your textbooks close and grunting under your breath. You put your head into your hands, resting them on the table, breathing heavily. You won’t even be able to study now, and it’s all thanks to him.

Why do you even hate him so much?

7.

Kim Seungmin is an interesting individual. As you continue to work in the library the next week, you meet him there every single day. You don’t even have the energy to bark at him anymore-- he slid into your life like a gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe. Always there, but you never get used to it and it’s still annoying when you walk around. 

Kim Seungmin is your moral enemy, as we already established. He comes into the library every day and you’re convinced it’s just because he wants to piss you off, but you don’t give him the satisfaction of letting him rile you up anymore. You just silently glare at him and sigh when the timing feels right to show him how much you actually still hate his presence. 

He comes back one day while you’re working on your essay, sitting at the table with furrowed eyebrows and the end of your pen trapped between your teeth. The copy of the play is sitting open right in front of you and his eyes fall into it, recognising the underlined replicas and words. You didn’t work on that essay together ever since your first meeting and the due date was nearing, all he wanted to do was review it with you to at least know what he was getting into.

“Can you even read all of these books in a day when you keep coming back for more every time?” you grumpily mumble as you check back the books you, as the librarian, let him borrow yesterday. They are quite thin, but still, you doubt he was so quick to read all of them in a single afternoon.

“Why do you care?” he asks, snickering to himself. Of course, here he is-- annoying every single cell and fiber of your body again.

“Oh, trust me, I don’t. It’s just getting a little annoying.” you ironically smile at him, sitting back to your chair as you finish lending him the new stash of books. You’re not even sure where he got all of these from, since they don’t even look that interesting, but you choose not to think about it any longer as you get back to your essay, scribbling onto the lined paper.

“I like what you’ve written so far,” he says, startling you. You thought he left already-- I mean, why would he even stay? But he didn’t and he was standing right in front of you, eyes skimming over your messy handwriting.

“No you don’t. You’re arguing against me.” you snap back, darting your eyes to him, seeing him sigh.

“Whatever,” he shakes his head, “I was just wondering when you’re going to finally stop being so childish so we can work on that project together, you know.”

“I’m not childish-”

“Stop arguing with me for once, for god’s sake!” he rushes out, throwing his arms in the air in nerves, huffing out in frustration. “Look, I’ll be here tomorrow. The same time. I’ll bring my things and if you still don’t let me work with you, I won’t write anything and we’ll get a bad grade together. Take it or leave it.”

And with that, he is gone. 

Fuck Kim Seungmin.

8.

Turns out your enemy is a man of his word. 

He truly does show up the next day-- with his backpack slung on his shoulder, cute big glasses sitting on his nose and a stack of papers in his hands. He raises his brows at you upon arriving and you just let out a defeated sigh. 

You put a lot of thought into this yesterday evening. Did you hate Kim Seungmin? Of course you did. Was he really annoying? Yes. But were you going to get a bad grade just because of that? Not a chance. 

And so you choose to give up on the small war and let him sit in front of you, you let him casually ask you questions about the essay and surprisingly, you answer. It is kind of easy, working with a partner on the same exact level as you, because, and now, don’t get me wrong, you love your classmates, but it seemed like you did all the work all the time. It was nice to have somebody by your side that actually managed to do something and took his part responsibly.

“So, since we’re not just gonna go there and argue right from the start, I wrote a little something about William Shakespeare and his background as well in the introduction, I actually didn’t get around to writing the introduction to the play itself, but-”

“Oh that’s fine, I have it done. We can just stick that in there,” he smiles at you warmly, taking you by a surprise. 

You’ve never seen Kim Seungmin smile at you. It was strange to act so friendly around him. Perhaps you were really losing your mind while studying so much. 

“Perfect.” you nod, chewing on the inside of your cheek. 

“I also have the general storyline written down so you don’t have to do that…” he mumbles, looking away for a while when your eyes meet. Is this supposed to be so awkward?

“Nice.” you opt to simply reply in your usual cold nature, nodding.

“Can you tell me which topics you wrote about? So I know if I need to write my part about more things…” he takes the initiative again and you’re actually kind of glad, because that means you don’t have to think of the schedule of your little meeting anymore. 

“Oh, right,” you say, shuffling around in your papers, “um… I just wrote about the age aspect, how reckless their love was, the image of love itself in the play, I also wrote about how meaningless the rivalry was…” you mumble, averting your eyes to the blue ink on the paper.

“Awesome, so we have all of that done… except from the love thing. Okay, I’ll write it next time I come around, since I have tutoring in a few,” he smiles, standing up from the chair, taking all of his things with him.

“Next time?”

“Yeah, well, we still have to finish it. You’ll be here on Tuesday, right? Since the class is on Thursday, so we can have time for the finishing touches.” he proposes, leaving you staring at him, startled.

“O...kay,” you nod, watching him leave.

“Perfect! I’ll see you around, bye!” he cheers, escaping the library that now feels so much hotter than before, leaving you all alone. You notice his tall figure rushing the other way of the library, watching it until it disappears completely out of your sight. 

You notice how hot your cheeks are, bringing a hand to rest against the burning surface, taking deep breaths to somehow calm down the racing heart you are only recognising now, that he’s gone. 

You still have a lot of work to do before Tuesday-- one of your tasks, it seems, is to try to not fall for his friendly nature and welcoming smile. Because perhaps, he was right all along-- why do you even hate him so much?

9.

Kim Seungmin has always been your moral enemy-- you despised everything about him, from the way he was always so calm and collected, so sweet and caring, so smart and thoughtful. You despised his composure. You despised the way he always somehow managed to make friends with everyone around him no matter who the person was. 

He was everything you weren’t. You were just the quiet kid from a broken family that always had to look after herself. You were the kid that had to keep on trying to be the best one, because your mind didn’t let you accept the second place. 

Yet now, that Kim Seungmin is sitting right in front of you with a sweet smile plastered onto his features and a stack of notes in his hands, making your heart race with his every move, you start to quietly doubt your silent hatred for the boy.

He makes it so easy to be likeable. You’re jealous of him.

“Okay, so, do you want to start reading? I think it might help us to have a run down before presenting this on Thursday,” he asks you, leaving you to take a deep breath in, nodding to yourself.

You skip the introduction bits-- both of you know a little too much about the play and its author already, you have no reason to be reading those parts out loud. Something inside of you starts shaking at the thought of presenting your work to him. You were never really good with presentations, your quiet nature leaving you getting hot in the cheeks and stammering every time you had to read in front of the class, but now, it feels even worse with the boy staring at you, listening to everything you have to say.

“They say Romeo and Juliet describe a love that surpasses all boundaries, but a close reading of the play suggests the lovers’ feelings are more complicated than pure love. If we look, we can find plenty of evidence that Romeo and Juliet’s love for one another is, at least initially, immature. Romeo begins the play claiming to be passionately in love with another woman, Rosaline. When he sees Juliet, he abandons Rosaline before he has even spoken to his new love, which suggests that his feelings for both women are superficial. Juliet, meanwhile, seems to be motivated by defying her parents. She is unenthusiastic about her parents’ choice of husband for her, and at the party where she is supposed to meet Paris, she instead kisses Romeo after exchanging just fourteen lines of dialogue with him. When Romeo returns to see Juliet, she is focused on marriage. For Juliet, part of the appeal of marriage is that it will free her from her parents: ‘I’ll no longer be a Capulet’,” you read out quietly. The room is silent, you can even hear the passing cars outside of the window, but Seungmin says nothing. You pay a daring look to him, finding him focused on your face, which makes you shakily drift your eyes back, reading some more so you can distract yourself.

“Marriage is, also, another great aspect of the story-- Juliet is only 13 in the play and even though we can argue and say that historically, she was of age to get married, I still think it is irresponsible to marry so young and so quickly. It brings a bad view of reckless love to young readers that are forced to read the play while growing up.” you continue, hearing Seungmin smirk from the other side of the table.

“‘With love’s light wings did I o’erperch these walls, for stony limits cannot hold love out’, Romeo says, however, to Juliet, all of the freedom she gets from love sparks in the idea of leaving her parents so she can have sex.” you read out, hearing Seungmin finally burst out laughing.

You stop reading, looking up to him with questioning eyes. 

“Why are you so dramatic about all of it anyway?” he asks you, making you furrow your brows in confusion.

“What do you mean dramatic? I was supposed to write about my own view of it, so I did just that. You don’t have to laugh at me for it,” you shake your head, kind of feeling pathetic for the way your heart is racing. The thing is, and you know it sounds ridiculous, you actually feel kind of hurt by the sound of his laughter.

“I understand that, but why do you keep bashing the author for writing it like that? It’s like you don’t even believe in love, all you did was criticise all of the ideas he had. And so what if they were young and reckless? They were still in love, you know?” he rambles, making your blood boil again.

“You can’t just ignore all of it because it was in history. I don’t think it’s normal to marry so young and to claim you are in love so quickly, because you know what? If they survived, they would make a child. And then, they would realise how they fucked up their own life and Romeo would run away from her with a snap of his finger, because that’s what young, immature boys do. And then-” you raise your voice, not even realising how heated you got with the argument as you continue to ramble. The vision of your own parents and your own story is slowly eating you all up from the inside, when suddenly, Seungmin cuts you off again with a laugh.

“But you don’t know that. It’s not even in the play and your conspiracies are just… pathetic, really,” he shrugs, taking in your distressed state.

Pathetic conspiracies. Is this what he called your life?

“Leave.” you say, breathing heavy.

“What? We didn’t even-” 

“You criticize everything I write, not even recognising that maybe I do have a reason for feeling like this and maybe I really do not want to idolise young, immature love when I know just how much damage it can make, so please, for the love of god, Kim Seungmin, leave me alone!” you yell out, standing up from your chair and pointing to the door.

“Y/N-”

“I said get out!” you scream. His deep eyes stare at you for a few minutes, startled, before he hurriedly takes his things and leaves through the front door. 

Once you’re finally alone again, you sigh heavily and put your head into your hands. You feel your eyes burning, trying to desperately blink away the stupid tears filling your saddened orbs, but it’s no use as you see a few teadrops fall onto the opened copy of Romeo and Juliet on the table. 

‘It’s easy for someone to joke about scars if they’ve never been cut.’, it says.

Maybe you were fooling yourself when you thought Kim Seungmin will no longer be your enemy after all of this.

10.

You raise up to your feet when Mrs Jung calls on you on Friday. You already know what’s going to happen-- you’d been preparing yourself for this moment for the past two long, miserable days. You hadn’t spoken to Seungmin since that day in the library and frankly, you feel like after all of this, you have nothing to say to him. You feel like all energy has been sucked out of you, like you are just a walking cage without a soul just ready for this whole project to be over.

You scan the faces of your classmates, most of them looking interested by your essay. They must be expecting drama, an outburst of emotions as you listen to Seungmin’s words, but you won’t give them the satisfaction today. You’re just going to do your part-- you’re going to read out what you have to say and that’s where it ends. You’re not wasting your energy on Kim Seungmin anymore. It’s not worth your time at all. 

So you start, just like that time in the library. You make all your points, you mention all of the topics you wanted to discuss. You throw it right in front of their faces, silently confessing to them all of your deepest secrets and insecurities, because the truth is, you wouldn’t feel so strongly about the play if it didn’t affect you as much. 

And when you’re done, you let your rival speak. You listen to him with curiosity, it doesn’t matter how much you’re trying to convince yourself you don’t actually care. His words flow into your ears and fill your mind with thoughts, every single one of them dedicated to his neat handwriting and his brain full of mysteries he is currently uncovering right in front of you.

“To be honest, Y/N’s words made me think. They made me think too hard. They made me question if my point of view was actually as correct as I thought it was. You see, Y/N is a smart girl. No one can deny that. Perhaps that is what made me doubt my own words so much in the first place,” he starts, looking you directly in the eye, but quickly averting his eyes to the small group of people in the classroom instead, “but still, even though there are some points of her essay that I agree with-- like the age aspect, even though historically, it could be meaningless, as well as the way their marriage comes too fast, there are still things I strongly disagree on.”

He takes a deep breath, shuffling the papers in his hands until he finds the right one, and starts speaking again. “Y/N says their love isn’t as pure as it seems to be. With Romeo abandoning Rosaline and with Juliet desperately wanting to break away from her parents, it may seem that way. However, I think that yet, while the two characters may have initially fell for each other due to a mixture of convenience and lust, Romeo and Juliet’s language shows their passion maturing into real love,” he says, taking a short look at you that makes your insides burn in flames, “In their first meeting, they compose a sonnet together using the religious language of pilgrimage. They both start using astrological language to describe their love. As their relationship develops, they use less rhyme, which has the effect of making their language feel less artificial. These changes in the lovers’ language show that they are growing together. They are growing to care more deeply for each other, they are growing into a feeling of love they have for each other.”

“Another thing I disagree with Y/N on is her image of love. ‘Is love a tender thing? It is too rough, too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like thorn,’ she quotes. Romeo asks his friend, Mercutio, this question when he feels hurt by his love. Yet, as I already mentioned, in my opinion, love is growing. And growing is a journey-- in every journey, there is going to be some pain,” he looks at you again, as if to tell you that his words aren’t meant for the class, but for you and your ears only. It doesn’t look like he’s arguing with you anymore--he is simply telling you what’s on his mind. What he believes in. 

“In theory, I think love is beautiful. I understand the pain and I understand the journey. And with me saying I disagree, I’m not saying Y/N’s opinion is wrong. It’s simply what she believes in,” he nods his head, locking his eyes with Mrs Jung, “but perhaps, it’s the romantic in me that believes that the image of love portrayed in this book was, in fact, beautiful.”

He clears his throat, looking at you again, but this time, his eyes don’t drift to the papers in his hand, rather speaking from his memory instead of reading out the things he had written down. “‘The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars as daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven would through the airy region stream so bright that birds would sing, and think it were not night.’ Isn’t that beautiful?” he averts his eyes to the class, smiling to himself and looking to the ground. 

Somehow, his words feel heavy on you. Like they hold the weight of the world, like what he said wasn’t just to prove a point to you. Perhaps Kim Seungmin saw through the hurt you feel-- perhaps he tried to understand. Maybe, he even tried to make you feel better. 

Somehow, his words feel like a confession. His ending ment of saying ‘thank you for your time’ goes unnoticed in your brain, everything turning blurry as the bell rings just as your presentation ends, your brain, eyes-- your whole being focused on Kim Seungmin and the way his voice recitated the words with such passion in his heart.

“‘And where two raging fires meet together, they do consume the thing that feeds their fury,’” the voice of your English literature teacher cuts through your senses like a knife, the smile on her face bringing you back to reality, “Good job, you two.”

11.

A kick in a face wouldn’t hit you harder than seeing Kim Seungmin appear in the library the next day. You aren’t prepared to see him, not when all you’ve been thinking of the last night without being able to fall asleep were his words, his mind and his face. You saw him every time you closed your eyes-- it was like he suddenly imprinted himself into your brain. It was crazy. You felt crazy.

Romeo and Juliet fell in love at first sight. Romeo and Juliet got married the next day. 

How much time did it take you to fall in love with Kim Seungmin? 

Suddenly, you have no idea. And what makes it all worse is the fact that somehow, it all makes sense in your eyes. Maybe Jisung was right when he told you that giving so much energy into hating the boy would somehow make you end up like the 21st century replica of Anne of the Green Gables and Gilbert Blythe.

“Hello,” he breathes out, the corners of his mouth slightly curving up before he bites the nervous smile down, chewing on his bottom lip. 

“Hi,” you shyly greet him, noticing the book in his hands alongside with the library card, taking it from his reached-out hand. You recognise the book way too well, the hard covers a little dusty and the spine damaged from the amount of people that had borrowed this book from the library before.

You take the copy of Romeo and Juliet and place it on the table, registering it back into the database. It feels like a chapter of your life is ending. It seems like forever since you’ve been assigned the project, but in a way, you know that nothing will ever be the same. 

You kept thinking of his words in the night. How in his romantic mind, love is beautiful. And it’s a journey that requires pain, in a way. 

You kept thinking of how your parents were in love. And then, they were in pain. It was their journey that somehow ended up with you being born, ended up with your father leaving you because he couldn’t bear the responsibility. You kept thinking about how you used to blame your mother, even though all she ever did was raise you and love you. And in a way, you knew Seungmin was right and love was beautiful-- it brought your mum pain, but she was happy while it lasted. And you were the proof of that.

You give him back his library ID, fully expecting him to leave without another word, but he doesn’t. He takes it back from your hold, slipping the card into his back pocket, giving you a meaningful look as he sighs.

“I-”

“Look-”

You both start at the same time, nervously laughing before prompting the other one to speak first. You avert your eyes away from his face, letting him know you won’t be the first one to speak this time, patiently waiting for him to start talking.

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry if I ever made it seem like I hate you or anything, because, well, it’s quite the opposite, really,” he chuckles, wiping his hands against his pants, “I never had the guts to hold a proper conversation with you before, because honestly, I was too shy to do that, since you’re like… so smart and everything, but yeah,” he sighs again, shortly looking you in the eyes before finishing his little speech, “I’m just… sorry, I guess?”

You feel your lips tugging into a smile, shaking your head in disbelief before speaking up again. “No, I should be the one saying sorry, because I was the one acting like a bitch… I guess that were just my own insecurities getting in the way.” 

His smile mirrors yours in no time, taking your breath away as you curse in your own head. You feel crazy. So, so damn crazy for liking it so much.

“It’s okay. I guess we both had some things that came in the way. If I wasn’t acting so cold, maybe you wouldn’t hate me as much-”

“No, it’s not your fault!” you stop him, reaching out a hand to gesture him that he is talking nonsense. 

He nervously shifts his weight from one leg to another, taking a short look at his shoes, gaining all of his courage before speaking up again. “I know this may sound ridiculous, but would you maybe want to… hang out sometime?”

“Hang out?” you repeat, voice a few octaves higher than usual.

“Y-yeah,” he nods, eyes big, “I was actually thinking of asking you out on a date but since you used to hate me until now, I didn’t want to go too fast-”

“It can be a date,” you jump in. The voice in your head is screaming at you now, hell, it is running around your head and hitting the walls in anger and panic. How the hell did you end up in this position? Asking Kim Seungmin out on a date? You really must be ridiculous.

“Okay,” he smiles, urgently nodding. 

“Okay.” you grin. You exchange a daring stare into each other’s eyes before he deeply inhales and scratches the back of his neck, turning on his heel and quickly pacing to the door. You almost think he’s going to leave, but he quickly looks back and stops in his tracks, shooting you one last, bright smile.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow!” he cheers, not even letting you respond before he runs out of the door.

As the library falls into dead silence, you take a seat on the chair, sighing deeply and bringing your head into your palms resting on the table, just like many times before when Seungmin left the comfort of the library, but this time, there’s a goofy smile playing with your lips as you think of the last few minutes, chuckling to yourself. This was an outcome you did not expect from the project-- but it’s an outcome you don’t mind at all.

Romeo and Juliet fell in love at first sight. How long did it take you? 

It’s fair to say at least two weeks.

Maybe you were foolish and maybe it will hurt, but there’s something tempting at the warm feeling in your chest and the excitement Seungmin’s presence makes you feel, and that feeling alone doesn’t let you give up on this just yet. 

Your eyes fall to the opened book of Romeo and Juliet you’d left on your table just before he arrived, meaning to return the copy of the play to the library. You’re met with a sentence that makes you chuckle at the irony, the foolishness washing over you mixed with a feeling of joy you can’t quite comprehend yet, but welcome it with your arms wide open and expecting heart.

‘My only love sprung from my only hate.’

[pipes-loves-writing]

(so i wasn’t really sure how to upload this anywhere so I kinda just copied and pasted it so if it looks weird I’m sorry) so this is my first fanfiction I’ve ever written/ shown to anyone/ finished so if there’s anything I could do to make it better, let me know!! Also there’s a little part of this fic that’s inspired by a post @starklysteve made and a comment (I think.. i don’t remember) that @redmeanslove made. They’re very small details but they kinda inspired some parts of this fic.

Okay I think that’s all I have to say!

Enjoy! :)🤍

“Let’s write a song.”

“What?”

Carlos had never been good at talking about his feelings. Like, at all. Ever.

Not to Seb, and not even to his family. But especially not to Seb. Speaking of Seb, it had currently been 5 days, 4 hours, 21 minutes, and 7 seconds since they had a true conversation last. 8 seconds. 9 seconds. But, it’s not like anyone’s counting.

Or anything.

He had been so stressed out with everything regarding the menkies, and the show, and not even to start with all the drama that didn’t happen on stage. But now he was in Big Red’s basement, with Ricky, writing a song.

What a night.

Carlos fiddled with his hands. “I’m sorry. I guess I've never really written a song before. I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

“Well,” Ricky paused and cleared his throat, “Let’s just figure it out as we go along. Tell me where it started to go a little south.”

Carlos sighed. He hated talking about him and Seb fighting. It physically hurt to even think about it. But, he started to speak.

“It all sort of started a little bit after Christmas. I got his cashmere and he’s allergic. But he didn’t bring it up until I asked him about it.”

Ricky slightly tilted his head. “And that's all? Those are all the bad parts?”

Carlos stood up and walked towards the other side of the room. Then he thought for a moment.

Then he started to speak.

“That’s the thing Ricky. There are no bad parts of him. There’s only him. Him and his beautiful piano playing. Him and his way to completely make me melt with every word he says. Him and his pretty blue eyes. The way he understands my craziness. The way he makes me feel so lucky. And how do I repay him? I go and post a million pictures with a bunch of random guys I barely even know. And who barely know me. I never chose them. I chose Seb. And he chose me. Gosh, I’m so stupid. Ricky, he’s practically the perfect guy. He is the perfect guy. And I haven't even told him that. I love him and now I went and lost him.”

Ricky was silent for the count of seven.

“Wow.”

“I know. I’ve never even said that last part to myself before.”

Ricky said, “hmm.” And scribbled down something in his notebook.

………………………

“I can’t believe we wrote a whole song in half an hour.” Carlos was astonished. How had Miss Jenn never asked Ricky to write for the show?

“Woah woah woah, slow down Carlos. We still have to write the bridge and the last chorus.”

“But still! I mean, you’re a really good writer! Why haven’t you showed anyone else your music?”

Ricky sighed and paused for a second. “Well, I did write something for Nini and I ended up showing a little bit of it to Big Red. And the song I wrote about letting her go? I showed that to my mom. But no one other than them. I don’t know. It’s like what you said earlier. I get kinda weird talking about my emotions. You know?”

“Yeah I guess I get it.” Carlos thought for a moment. “Have you ever tried writing something that wasn’t about Nini? Or not about girls in general?”

Ricky shrugged and went back to his notebook. Carlos took a hint and changed the subject.

“Okay, we don’t have that much left to write. Let’s get back to it.”

Ricky grabbed a pencil and said, “Alright. Let’s try what we were doing before. You talk about Seb and I write some ideas of lyrics we could use.”

Carlos smiled. He loved talking about loving Seb. He nodded, “Works for me!”

Ricky grinned and asked, “So, about earlier, why haven’t you told him you love him yet?”

Carlos hummed and said, “I’m not sure. I guess I’m just worried he’d freak out and leave me.”

“Why? Dude, I know it probably seems scary, but Seb really really likes you.”

A smile grew on Carlos’s face and then quickly disappeared. “I’m just not sure. I mean, I can’t control the future, and neither can he.”

Ricky thought for a moment and said, “Well, it’s like you said earlier. You chose him and he chose you. And he’ll continue to choose you. Forever. Stuff like that doesn’t just go away cause he’s scared.”

Now it was Carlos’s turn to be surprised. “Wow.”

Ricky laughed, “Well?”

Carlos tilted his head and squinted, “Well?”

“Let’s get back to writing. I think we figured out our bridge.” he paused, “but Carlos? I think Seb really loves you.”

Carlos smiled and looked away.

………………………

“It’s perfect.” Carlos laughed softly, “It’s got everything I want to say and more.”

Ricky grinned and put his guitar down. “So, have you thought of choreographing it? Like, adding movements or anything?”

“Oh, yeah.” The second they had started writing it, ideas raced through his mind. “The only problem is the ending. I’m just not sure what to do with it. I don’t want it to be repetitive or anything.”

“Okay well,” he sighed, “ If all else fails,”

“Yeah?”

Ricky smiled more, “Just keep dancing.”

“I am pretty good at doing that.” Carlos giggled. But he soon stopped and worried, “I’m also kind of worried about the singing. What if I forget the words or something? I mean, we did only write it in an hour.”

“Listen man, if you forget anything, or need encouragement or something like that, just look at me,” he ran his hand through his hair, “I’ll even sing backup if that makes you feel more supported.”

“Thank you, Ricky. I’ll probably look at you a lot.”

“No you won’t. You’ll be too busy being lost in Seb’s eyes.” Ricky joked. Or at least, Carlos thought he was joking. He wasn’t sure yet.

“Well, we better get going. Seb isn’t gonna serenade himself.”

Carlos rolled his eyes. He assumed he would have to get used to Ricky joking about his relationship. He wasn’t annoyed or anything. He actually found it kind of endearing.

Ricky borrowed Big Red’s car since the other boys took Ej’s. Carlos kind of wondered why he didn’t bring his. Did he have one? He would have to ask another time. The two boys raced to the school (Without going over the speeding limit, obviously). They got there within 10 minutes. Carlos was intrigued with all the shortcuts to the school that Ricky knew. Another thing to ask about later.

“You go in the theatre first. I’ll be in the rehearsal room so you can bring Seb in from there. I’ll have the guitar set up and everything. All you have to do is tell me to start playing, and you’ll be great.”

“Sounds good.” Carlos showed him one more nervous glance, and scurried down the hall to the stage.

……………………………..

Carlos did it! He really did it! He didn’t forget any of the words and he danced with Seb. And best of all, he apologized. He had made it all right!

And it was all thanks to Ricky. Without him, he never would have found a way to say he was sorry. And he and Seb would still have been fighting.

Seb and Big Red had left, leaving Ricky and Carlos in the rehearsal room alone.

Carlos ran up to Ricky and hugged him, “Thank you.”

Ricky hugged him back.

“Bro.” Carlos laughed and left the room.

Ricky laughed and put his guitar down. He ran to the stage to join the rest of the theatre kids.

And when he saw Carlos and Seb, standing side by side giggling after not talking for a week, he knew that he had saved his friends and done the right thing.

thank you thank you thank you for reading!! This was very nerve racking to post but please give me any feedback!! Love you all!

-pipes :)🤍

[imagine-the-phantom-thieves]

Okay first of all, let’s pretend it’s still 6/2. Second of all this was all written in one sitting in like, three hours. I’m very tired and don’t want get beta reads done. This is all to say I’m very sorry if this all sounds like a wack fever dream. Happy Birthday, Goro, his gift is angst.

Goro Akechi Goro could only find himself absent-mindedly rubbing the back of his gloved hand with his thumb after he had told his newly assigned partner to take a look at the scene they had been given to look at.

He found himself thinking about it more and more lately, but he wasn’t entirely sure why. Though he still remembered it like it was yesterday. 

They way you had wandered into the cafe that night, almost as if you were lost. You had talked to the man at the counter for quite a while, asking if this was the only store of the chain in the area, if he recalled correctly. After you had gotten whatever response you were looking for, you politely bowed and tried to make your way to a table in the back.

You tried.

It just so happened that the bag you had slung over your shoulder was just low enough to knock over the Ace Detective’s cup of coffee.

His cup of piping. Hot. Coffee.

You were quick to pick up on what happened, trying your best to help clean up the table, while he had run off to the establishment’s washroom to cool the burn his hand sustained. 

The second he returned to his table, he found himself bombarded with apologies from you. He later found out that you hadn’t even registered who you had spilled coffee on, something he had found endearing, to a degree. You had even offered him a new one, if it would make it up to him. 

Now, he had plenty of time to stew and steep potential anger. He had been holding the burn under water for almost 20 minutes, after all. But he didn’t. Of course, there were traces of a tranquil fury laced deep in his words, but he really tried not to let it show. 

You noticed, but didn’t hold it against him. 

What you also noticed was how long you’d ended up conversing with him. It was something that didn’t take long for him to pick up on, considering how your mood so suddenly soured. 

Against his better judgement, he asked what was wrong.

You had explained that you had been set up on a date with this guy and he was supposed to have shown up over half an hour ago at that point. You were pretty sure he flaked, and you didn’t blame him for it. The next thing he knew, you were apologizing again, rationalizing that a stranger probably wouldn’t care about your personal problems, especially after scalding their hand.

Yet he still let you sit at the table.

He couldn’t put his finger on it. Maybe it was pity, maybe it was intrigue, though that seemed unlikely at the time, but most likely, he was just bored. Thinking back on it, he could only figure that it was a mix of the first and last, but upon further reflection, he only concluded that he had a quiet yearn for companionship on top of it. 

Generally, he tried to steer the direction of the conversation, as if he was testing you, carefully watching how you responded to his questions. The way your forehead would crease in thought or how your thumb would occasionally twitch as you spoke. 

Luckily, he found himself enjoying the night, despite the burn.

What he really didn’t expect was that he would see you again, and so soon on top of that. 

Oddly enough, you’d seemed more shy about approaching him when you saw him again. His confusion only worsened it. Very quietly you explained that you enjoyed the time you spent with him so much that you were hoping you’d be able to talk again. 

Again, he let you stay at the table. 

While he had seen it as a mild inconvenience at first, he found himself appreciating it more and more as your odd spontaneity helped break up the monotony of his life, if only by a little. 

It was just over a couple weeks of this before you asked him if you could call him your friend and vice-versa. 

He had paused in thought for a moment when you had asked, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t worried you overstepped your boundaries. After what had felt like an eternity, he had agreed.

Both of you had started going out to places other than the cafe you were so familiar with, though his favourite places in Kichijoji and general walks were the most common ways you spent time together. 

Gifts weren’t a common exchange, but you had given him a sizable bottle of multivitamins, mentioning that with his busy lifestyle you wanted to make sure that he was still getting everything he needed. From what you’d seen, his diet seemed rather lackluster to begin with, but topping it with a full time job and all the stress that would induce seemed like a disaster. 

It was one of the nicest things someone had done for him, if he was being honest.

He didn’t do much when it came to recounting personal tales, that was more up your alley. He’d heard a lot about the personal dramas you’d faced in school, ‘he saids, she saids’ and all that. If you ever asked him if anything was on his mind, he had always thought carefully about his reply. He had brought up things about his upbringing now and again, but more often than not, he simply flipped the question back to you. Sometimes you’d ignore the fact that he was deflecting, dropping the subject entirely.

However, as the time you spent together increased, he found himself only growing more concerned with himself. He found himself relishing in the sound of your laughter, admiring the way your smile etched across your face, and finding your smaller habits, like the way you jutted out your bottom lip just a tad when you were in thought genuinely adorable. This wasn’t helped by how he noticed his chest begin to tighten when your hand ghosted just over his. 

It came to a point where he would go for a few days without even texting you, no matter how much you had asked what was going on, as if just ignoring the situation would make it go away. It didn’t. He had always come back merely days later, dismissing it as work. You accepted it, but only asked that he let you know if he could help it.

It was something he soon found himself doing by reflex. 

He had decided that the only way to be able to calm down from his dilemma was to simply confess. Even if you had rejected his affections, he wouldn’t be mad; it would just be a better excuse to forget about it. 

There was just one teensy, weensy, itty-bitty niggling little issue. 

That was the news you had for him on the same day.

It was still cold as the air of February hadn’t quite warmed up to make way for the gentle warmth of March. You had told him about how your college plans had come through for you, and that starting the next coming spring you’d be studying across the country, over in Yamaguchi. He felt conflicted, to say the least. On one hand, no more you, which means he could just bury his feelings and never have to think about them again, probably forever. On the other, no more you. Your actual move was only going to be in a couple days, with most of your belongings on their way to your new flat. 

His silence that didn’t let up had been making you worried, but there wasn’t really anything you could say to break it. You stood up from the bench you shared and briefly dug around in your bag, voice quiet against the crisp air.

“I know this is late, but if I don’t give it to you now, I don’t know when I will.” 

He opened the small gift only to find just under a dozen small chocolates all neat into two rows. Slowly, he popped one in his mouth, noticing the subtle coffee flavour. Cute.

The awkward feeling never subsided. Conversations were never as intricate as they had been as of late. It was obvious he was trying to avoid the situation. In a silent, mutual agreement, you both decided to call it quits early. 

“Will you be there to see me off tomorrow?”

As much as it pained him, he said yes. 

He felt warm when he came home the next day. He spent the better part of the morning with you at the train station, you could tell he was trying to save face, but you were glad he was at least feigning excitement for you. 

You had told him the basic plan: You’d be train hopping around for a while, but come late evening a friend in the area would be driving you the rest of the way. At his insistence, you promised to give him a call as soon as you could. As your train pulled up, you had got Goro’s attention for just a moment before you caught his lips in a quick, chaste kiss. 

And just like that, you were gone. 

He had felt dazed, fingers ghosting over his lips. 

It had felt just as nice- just as right as he had always imagined. 

When he got home, he could only chuckle to himself as he noticed the sudden barrage of texts from you he’d received just after the train left. Mostly just apologies about how uncalled for the kiss had been, how you had just been absorbed in the moment, and so on.

That didn’t change the fact that your heart was racing a mile a minute for the entirety of your first train ride.

It was that night that he decided to finally attempt to settle the waters. He had spent longer than he’d like to admit typing up an email- lord if he knew if you still had phone service way out there- laying all the cards on the table. How he found himself beyond infatuated with you, which was something entirely new to him, how he wanted to tell you everything and he wasn’t even sure why- he just wanted to, needed, even. That you made his heart race more than anyone else ever had. Coffee burns aside, even having you as a close friend would be all he needed, but being more would almost be too much for him to bear. 

Though, he quickly realized something odd.

It was late, beyond late. You said you would call when you got to your new flat. 

Completely forgetting the email in the moment, he grabbed his phone and called your cell.

It rang, it rang, it rang…

And then to voicemail. 

Well, that was fine, you probably just weren’t around your phone, that makes sense, you were probably just unpacking. 

Of course checking the news probably wouldn’t…

Oh dear. 

Goro quickly found himself hyperventilating as he found many news articles all within the past few hours. His stomach twisted as it became clearer that it was all for a train derailment, one of your trains. The reports of a handful of deaths did nothing to ease him. 

It shouldn’t have been a surprise then when he finally had access to the police reports of the derailment that you were recorded as one of the few deaths in the accident. 

He had just stopped functioning for a while. He became more and more of a recluse, barely even talking to fellow classmates or coworkers unless he was forced to. While he got to where he was going to be, climbing up the ladder of his career, something didn’t sit right. Perhaps it had to do with not having anyway to be able to share it with.

Just the idea of the world ripping away the only person he could confidently call a friend had driven him to such a bleak outlook so fast. 

Though come to think of it…

He never did send that email, did he?

“Uh, ...sir? Sir?” 

Hearing his subordinate calling to him, Goro had finally snapped back to reality, thumb still on the back of his hand. 

“Yes? What is it?” 

They scrambled a bit with the points they had jotted down, shifting from heel to heel as they brought up each point.

“Well, we’ve found some hair on the victim’s carpet that doesn’t match theirs in the slightest, and forensics did a quick run through and found some unidentified bloodstains and fingerprints around the scene of the crime.”

“Ah, alright then. Bring it to the station and we’ll see if we have matches for the prints.” 

“Yessir!” They had sputtered out, almost a little too fast. “Uhm, by the way, sir…” Seeing Goro glance over told the younger investigator that his superior had heard their mumbles. “Is everything okay? You seem out of it today…” 

“Hm? Oh, that? It’s…” He paused, looking away. “It’s nothing. Just thinking about what could have been, is all.”

[irandrura]

Terra Ignota

Over the last few weeks, I read Terra Ignota. I read all of the three published books so far: Too Like the Lightning, Seven Surrenders, and The Will to Battle.

Every review of Terra Ignota I have ever read is wrong. Or rather, every review of Terra Ignota I have ever read takes an extremely different perspective to my own, to the extent that I genuinely don’t understand how the author could have concluded that.

So as not to keep anyone in suspense, my perspective on Terra Ignota is that they are surprisingly trashy books, in a world that doesn’t make very much sense, but that doesn’t matter because the heart and soul of these texts is over-the-top soap opera drama. I think they are probably bad, and they outright offended me at several points, but nonetheless they drew me in enough that I wanted to keep reading. There is merit in that.

 If you’re the sort of person who cares about spoilers, this is your only warning.

As I said, I don’t understand most of the reviews I have read of these books. I simply don’t.

 I don’t understand the view that the writing itself is poetic and beautiful. Palmer has some good phrases from time to time, but overall I don’t find the prose particularly amazing. This is a very subjective point, so I won’t belabour it.

 I don’t understand the view that the books are a masterful triumph of worldbuilding. From my perspective, the worldbuilding is actually kind of half-assed, and more importantly, Palmer does not seem to actually care about worldbuilding that much. It isn’t her priority. Reading the books I found myself constantly asking “How does X actually work?” or “Y sounds totally insane, could you explain how it makes sense to me?” or “Z seems like it clashes with X, please resolve this contradiction for me?”, and Palmer never answers those questions for you. If I want some more explanation for why, say, a global transportation system serving billions of people is run without oversight, from a single private residence, looked after by a man well-known to be suicidally depressed… nope, I’m not getting that. If I want some context for how hive-switching works, or how it interacts with crime, not happening. Even minor questions: in The Will to Battle, our heroes talk to a band of criminals involved in human trafficking, and I immediately wanted to know what human trafficking means in a world where borders have been abolished, geographic nations have been abolished, and every place on Earth is just a short taxi ride from every other place. This is the sort of question Palmer does not answer or even acknowledge.

 And I don’t actually buy that she’s interested in the questions that I see raised when the books are spruiked to me. Are you intrigued by the question of what the world would look like if every individual could choose their own government, their own law code, unconstrained by geography? I’m intrigued by that. It sounds interesting. But this is not a question that Terra Ignota is actually interested in. It seems like it should be interested in it, and I read enough breathless expositions of how cool the hive system is that I expected Terra Ignota to be interested in it… but it’s not. If you’re interested in, say, the question of whether a permanent exit option would make absolute dictatorship more humane, as in the Masons, then I agree that’s interesting – but it is not a question that the text of Terra Ignota takes any interest in. The big worldbuilding questions raised by the hives are all window dressing.

 I don’t understand the idea that Terra Ignota is a brilliant depiction of utopia. I want to acknowledge straight off the bat that I may have a bias here, because Terra Ignota’s world is premised on the, well, genocide of people like me, or at least the forcible suppression and exile of people like me, but I don’t think it’s only the fact that I’m openly in defiance of the First Black Law. Rather, I note two things here. Firstly, it’s hard to see whether Terra Ignota’s society is actually utopian because we spend so little time in it. We do not see how ordinary people live in this world, or what makes it wonderful. What Terra Ignota spends most of its time on is the scheming and backstabbing of the dozen most powerful people in the world, and everyone outside that little circle barely exists in the text. (Abigail Nussbaum noted in her review that Terra Ignota’s world never really feels like it has more than a few hundred people in it, and I agree.) It’s hard to convincingly argue Terra Ignota is a utopia or a dystopia, because we never meet the whole population. We meet a small handful of amoral nobility as they play out a space opera Game of Thrones. That’s certainly entertaining, and I give Palmer credit for making it fun to read, but it’s not really an investigation of utopia. Secondly, where we do see glimpses of the world outside the parlours of the ruthless rich, it…honestly seems rather conventional, and rather like the 21st century. People work fewer hours a week, taxis are much more efficient, movies have smelltracks as well as soundtracks, they go to the Olympics, apparently the Oscars endured the collapse of all nations and religions… but there is little in this world that seems radically different to our own. It’s all minor, incremental bits of technological progress. They’ve eliminated poverty, which is good, but I usually expect something more radical from utopia than that. What do people actually do in Terra Ignota that’s different to what any upper-middle class American might do today? Other, of course, than not go to church, call everyone singular they, and wear tracking devices.

 I don’t understand the idea that these books deal with deep philosophical or theological themes. Like the hives themselves, it’s all window dressing. The narrator Mycroft is obsessed with the 18th century, and so is a bizarre anachronistic brothel that somehow every major world leader attends (cf. worldbuilding being weak, the world only feeling like it has a few hundred people in it), but they don’t do very much with this. Mycroft imagines Thomas Hobbes occasionally butting in, but his imaginary Hobbes has little to say beyond "Hi, I’m the guy who wrote Leviathan!” The characters reference Diderot and de Sade and Voltaire, but usually only on the surface level, and when they do try to go deeper, they often get the references wrong. The same for the theology. My point is not that Terra Ignota is bad: just that it isn’t really that interested in the political philosophy or the theology. It uses 18th century thought as an aesthetic. Deism, miracles, proof of God’s existence, how gods might communicate, etc., are not the questions that occupy the text. Ada Palmer is not a theologian.

 But all that said, I enjoyed Terra Ignota.

 I want to emphasise that. I enjoyed Terra Ignota! I am not saying that it’s bad! I’m just saying that it was not what everyone told me it would be.

 Terra Ignota is a book about a bunch of very powerful, very horrible people, who all apparently go to the same brothel and are interested in the same wacky theories about human nature and God and so on, lying to and betraying each other. I think Palmer is really interested in the characters. Mycroft, our pretentious narrator who by the end of book three is genuinely losing his grip on reality and writing hallucinations. Jedd Mason, the madman who believes he’s God, but is probably just the delusional product of a radical set-set experiment. Caesar, the iron-proud absolute dictator seeking to do his duty by his ambitious, power-obsessed hive. Dominic, the sadistic sexual predator who nonetheless worships Jedd with fanatical devotion. Carlyle, the kind and compassionate philosopher-in-residence who inevitably gets tortured and abused. Ojiro Sniper, the freaky sex doll who nonetheless seeks to become the Brutus to Jedd’s Caesar. Apollo Mojave, the dead-but-still-influential space wizard who sought to cause a world war for stupid reasons. And so on. The characters are generally well-drawn and interesting enough that I want to see what happens to them.

 I should emphasise Palmer’s achievement in making me want to know what happens to these people, especially because they’re all so unsympathetic. Carlyle and Bridger stand out as the most truly sympathetic characters in the novels, but by book three, the former has been captured, tortured, and now limps along, dead-eyed and broken-spirited, in the train of one of the resident sadists, and the latter has quite reasonably gone “Screw this” and used his immense psychic powers to delete himself from the book. But most of the core characters in this drama – Mycroft, Saladin, Jedd, Sniper, Ganymede and Danae, Madame d’Arouet, etc. – are mad, evil, both, or otherwise extremely unsympathetic. It is to Palmer’s credit that I want to know what happens in the war anyway. The most sympathetic of the political leaders in the text, Vivien Ancelet and Bryar Kosala, spend most of their time fruitlessly begging for peace. While they, perhaps alone of the leaders, have genuinely laudable intentions, it has been clear from the first book that neither will be permitted to achieve anything notable. The only people to barrack for, in Terra Ignota, are those noble if compromised few who seek to avoid a war – and who we all know will fail.

 Book four, it seems, will finally be about the war that the first three books have been setting up, and even though I frankly want all three sides to lose – the Jedd faction, the Sniper faction, and Utopia are all deeply unpleasant, albeit in different ways – I am sure I will find it extremely entertaining to see how this all collapses.

 Do I recommend Terra Ignota? I don’t know. If you want detailed, thorough worldbuilding, sincere contemplation of deep philosophical questions about theodicy, politics, and human nature, or a stirring vision of a possible utopia… no. Do not read it for those things. It does not have those things in it.

 But it does have a scene where the prime minister of Europe body-tackles the Olympic president through a plate glass window and they land in a pile of people having sex mid-orgy, while the media broadcasts it worldwide.

 And that’s excellent.

[honeymoonjin]

day 11 & 12

With Festa in full swing last week, I feel like I didn’t have a chance to breathe let alone sit down long enough to articulate a review worthy of Day 11. I shall endeavor to do my very best to make up for that here. And, upon reading the start of Day 12, I am actually kinda glad I waited because I think that it gave me time to put both chapters into perspective. 

Day 11 was a very emotional one for Jungkook and I feel like we got to see those emotions coming to a head in this chapter. On the whole, Day 11 was such a fun, lowkey entry that I wasn’t really sure if I would have anything coherent to offer beyond high pitched squealing accompanied by the occasional swoon and cooing. But after seeing the tension and subsequent squabble that transpired at the breakfast table on Day 12, I see that perhaps there was more to ruminate concerning the feelings that Jungkook had experienced in the confessional booth. It’s so interesting from a writers perspective that you chose Jungkook to be the one to reiterate the whole point of the show; he’s younger, thus perhaps conventionally he’s a bit more emotionally immature than the rest of the guys. And yet, from the beginning, none of these guys have ever been portrayed as stereotypical or conventional; you have always expertly reminded the audience that each of the contestants (including our lady!) is more much complex than what meets the eye. It’s one of the things that I love so much about this series; none of the characters are ever “too perfect” and it’s those candid moments of vulnerability or weakness that truly makes this story stand out from a lot of other stories that I read. So to choose Jungkook as the person to make those “bold” comments and to have Namjoon be the one to call him out for being insensitive makes me feel like Jungkook’s response was much more complex than what it seems at glance. Like, it’s pretty obvious that Jungkook likes and respects our lady and perhaps he realized his indiscretion just a little to late but now he’s put on the spot, he’s been called out in front of everyone, and beyond the fact that he probably feels like shit for saying what he said and inadvertently hurting our lady in the process. He’s probably also hella embarrassed. I wonder too if maybe Jungkook is also ashamed that the person who called him out was Namjoon, someone who I want to believe, he respects and perhaps maybe admires a little. And despite the fact that I chuckled a little bit when our lady noticed that Jungkook was “staring at his pancakes like he’s trying to make them burst into flames”, I realized that he might also be both angry and disappointed in himself for his behavior. *sigh* Boy, you were so right all those weeks ago when you said “emotions are messy”. Anyway, that’s my roundabout way of saying, I liked the breakfast scene. Haha! Drama is inevitable; I love that you don’t shy away from presenting conflict for them to overcome. It offers opportunities for character growth and character exploration and I really appreciate that! 

Speaking of character growth, Namjoon got a chance to really flex those skills he acquired from “Hoseok’s School of Sexual Prowess”. That scene left me melting! Melting, I say! I’m not sure if you noticed but I make it a point to not reveal who my actual bias is in these reviews because I feel like I want to give all of the guys a chance to win me over for fan favorite. What I will say though is that you kind of hit on a lot of my personal preferences with Namjoon’s scene. Beyond the fact that the scene was really, really hawt, it fulfilled me on an emotionally intimate level, so it made the scene extra special. Bravo! 

And I suppose Jimin also deserves a standing ovation for that amazing show he put on. Holy smokes that was so hot. From the light banter and quips at the beginning of that scene to Jimin actually owning that entire lounge! And as amazing as the show (plus subsequent private scene with our lady afterwards) was, my favorite bit might be the exchange between Jimin and Hoseok, another scene that filled with tension and new revelations! It might actually be the most fascinating scene because it gave a glimpse at something rather unexpected; something has transpired between Hoseok and Jimin. I might be reading too much into the exchange but it feels as though something has happened away from the cameras between them. Because it feels like there has been a shift from blatant hostility between these two to something more akin to a genuine understanding that this is now a battle for power and control. I could be reaching but I feel like, at the very least, there have been words exchanged between them! It made the scene all the more intriguing! I loved every moment of it. Oh! Speaking of which, what is up with Jin?! When Yoongi asked Jin to speak to Kookie about what had happened that morning, it seemed he was a bit apprehensive to take up the task. I know that there might not be anything more there than just the fact that Jin might not want to be the one to have to broach the subject with Kookie but I feel like there’s more there than what meets the eye as well… my theory is in it’s fetus stage though, so I feel like I’ll hold back on my thoughts concerning Jin for now. And Yoongi, for that matter! I feel like there is something more there as well. AH! Too many theories to juggle! I will let you know what my thoughts are about it once I have gathered more adequate information. 

I still feel guilty for not being able to give you a full length review of Day 11. It really was such a great, light day. Jungkook’s scene left me all hot and bothered to the point where I spent the entirety of the week, searching up Jungkook smut fics to fulfill my Jungkook fix that that chapter evoked in me! Not to mention that the boys getting up to antics for a whiteboard that in the end they didn’t really need just made me all the more baffled by their behavior. It was fun, hilarious and just what I would expect from the guys.

To make up for not having anything for last week, I would like to take the opportunity to tell you about me loving this amazing story so much I nearly force-fed my best friend to read it with me so that I would have someone to fangirl with. Let me tell you a little bit about her. See, she doesn’t consume fanfics with as much verocity as I do. She is a very casual fanfic reader and if she does (which is rare in it of itself) she only ever reads MxM. Period. So when I told her the premises of “The Gentlemen” she was curious enough to read the contestant profiles. But I must say, from Day 1, you had her HOOKED! She would text me screenshots and emoji filled fangirlings in the wee hours of the morning (the only time she had to read at all) every single thing she loved about each chapter and it brings me so much joy that she was really dissecting and appreciating all the little things that I too loved about your story! We would have long, deep discussions about her prompt theories, her favorite members, tiny details that you’ve so expertly woven into the story (like Jimin’s tattoo for example, which is something she is obsessed with, btw) all of her favorite traits that our lady of the house has. It’s been so blissfully fun having this to share with her especially since I have her to thank for getting me into BTS in the first place. So, please know that you have a secret fan of “The Gentlemen” who would like you to know that she has been enjoying herself thoroughly and that she looks forward to your updates just as much as I do now! 

Anyhoo, I think I’ve prattled on long enough. Thank you so much for your continued hard work and dedication to this series! This was such an amazing chapter I cannot wait to see how everything unfolds; it feel as though these last 2 chapters have planted some major seeds (no pun intended!!); I look forward to see what it sows in the coming days. 💜 Jan

Oh my gosh! In all of my ramblings, I forgot to say "shout out to Lady Mango! You go get that stake, girly!" Also, YAY Grandma Park!! Heck, that entire exchange in the bathtub made me uwu so hard my heart is just a pile of mush rn! Also, also!! Jin x Tae is lowkey underrated, so thank you for that! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*✲���*｡⋆ I lub u so much!! kthnxbye

---

i’m not ashamed (okay, maybe a little) to admit that i kinda teared up and did a happy lil dance when i saw the email that you’d sent in a submission fksdjfkds i figured you’d probably been busy with life or with the mountainloads of content bighit is giving us these days so i was content to wait patiently, and it just made it that much more exciting when i saw this come in !

thank you, as always, for being so sweet and articulate and thoughtful in your reviews of the chapters. often you point out things that make so much sense that perhaps i hadn’t even noticed when writing. other times you hit an idea that i’d slipped in right on the nose. 

jungkook definitely is having a pretty tumultuous time on the show. for him, i imagine he feels like he’s the only one having a difficult time ironing out his feelings, or that if anyone else is struggling too, that they’re acting like nothing’s up. i also feel like jungkook’s competitive streak comes through in unexpected ways. of course he feels proud of his sexual prowess and kinda wants to showboat a little bit, but i think there’s an aspect too where he needs to be the one that’s always bolder than the others to assert his position. writing the namkook scene i kind of drew on that feeling where you’re fighting with someone you care about or think highly of, and even as you realise you’re wrong, you don’t want them to think badly of you and so you desperately scramble for a way to come out on top or prove you’re in the right. there’s also def a degree of him trying to convince himself the show is just about sex and that the rest doesn’t matter. he certainly doesn’t feel that way inside, but we see him vouching from that position so fiercely in d12. 

i’m glad you liked the namjoon scene !! one day i’ll figure out your bias fkdsjfksdjk you do such a good job at analysing and discussing everyone equally that it’s difficult >.<

it’s so fascinating to hear your jihope theory that they’ve spoken before. i must keep my silence on the details BUT there will be a very important scene between them coming up in the next few days of the show that i think will really change things between them and also how the readers see them. i’m super excited to write it ! 

beyond that, i’m happy you noticed something about jin in this chapter.... yn and jin still haven’t resolved their issues yet, plus here we are having jin not respond that well to being asked to counsel one of the members, something he always stated he was happy to do,,,,, hmmmm 0.0

i love hearing your theories so much !!! i eagerly await getting new content out so i can see how they shift and change from release to release

and also you really don’t need to feel bad ! there’s never any obligation to write out a long review for every chapter, but you do so anyway and that means a lot to me xx if you’re busy one week you don’t have to force yourself to make time for it. we have over 50 chapters, so we’re in for the long haul ! there’s really no rush

ahhhh that’s so cool to hear about your friend! it always warms my heart hearing stories of people that got their friends to begin reading and stuff, honestly even the thought that people think��about tgm outside of reading it blows me away, it feels so special that it’s something y’all wanna share and discuss w your loved ones xx 

YES LADY MANGOOO i love adding little slips of her in the chapters, i know she doesn’t factor into the main story that much but everyone can rest assured that all of the members of the house (okay, and probably our three on-site producers too) spend a lot of time with her, walking her and cuddling her and playing with her. tae is probably currently trying to teach her some commands, but of course the only one she’s got the hang of is lie down jskfjsd

(finally YES taejin is such an underrated duo i love them)

[mobius-prime]

199. Sonic the Hedgehog #131

Deep breaths, guys. I know what the cover page says. I know. We'll get to that. Just hang in there. I think you might like what I have in store.

Home (Part 2 of 4): The Gathering

Writer: Karl Bollers Pencils: Ron Lim Colors: Jason Jensen

So not much actually happens in this installment of Home other than the various characters talking to each other about and preparing for the upcoming battle. Since Sonic has been gone, a new Freedom Fighter Special has been constructed that can cut travel time dramatically around the globe. A journey that in the Tornado or on foot (in Sonic's case) would have taken up to two hours can be completed in a mere half hour now, thanks to Rotor's engineering prowess. And thus, Sonic and Tails head out to Old Megaopolis to stop Eggman's twin nukes from launching, along with an… interesting backup team, to say the least.

Man, remember Fiona? It's been ages since we've seen her! It appears that while Sonic was in space, she joined up with the crew in Knothole and has been helping them fight Eggman. That's definitely a better life for her than to be running with the likes of Nic the Weasel, eh? Meanwhile, Knuckles, Julie-Su, Amy Rose, and the other two (active) members of the Chaotix head to Fort Acorn, where General D'Coolette is giving a speech to the soldiers under his command. We've never even heard of this fort before, but according to the general it's been here for ten years, keeping a forward watch on Robotropolis, and this watch has been maintained even after Robotropolis' destruction in case of just such a situation as the current one. With their reinforcements from Knothole, the crew at the fort prepare to defend the city against a massive swatbot assault to lower the forcefield keeping the radiation in check. Back in Knothole, extra measures are being taken to make absolutely sure that even if the worst happens, the citizenry will be safe.

Station Square, for their part, has sent a squad of GUN commandos to help in the battle at Old Megaopolis. The commander of the military is baffled by this decision, wanting to send in their full fighting force, but the president instead opts to trust his allies from Knothole - though just for insurance, he's sent one of his own operatives along for the ride…

Now that's what I like to see! It's about time Rouge got herself some proper screentime. As all this is going on, Eggman waits aboard a docked battleship in the harbor of Old Megaopolis with his assistant M, and orders A.D.A.M. to begin the missile countdown. However, almost immediately, the sound of a biplane puts them on high alert, and Eggman is shocked to see Sonic and Tails bearing down on his location, not having expected them to be able to get here nearly so fast. See, Eggman, this is why you resist the siren call of your ego and keep your damn plans to yourself. All you did was give your enemies ample warning to prepare to foil your evil plot, you idiot!

Mobius 25 Years Later: Prologue

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Steven Butler Colors: Jensen

Okay, guys. This is it. We've reached the most Penders thing of all time. This is something that has been hinted at here and there from all the way back in the Sonic In Your Face special to now, and we're finally seeing the culmination of all of that buildup. All the intricate worldbuilding, all the complex character arcs, all the intrigue and political spider webs and back to back wars and everything that the world of Mobius has been through up until now - there's so much to explore, so many directions it could have gone. We're about to see what this world might look like twenty-five years into the future, and with so much rich history to draw from, what might you imagine this story might look like? What genre might it fall into? Well wonder no longer!

It's a drama. It's a teen drama.

There's a reason that Mobius 25 Years Later is widely considered to be one of the worst parts of the comic. The tone of it is just so far off anything else we've experienced so far that it clashes horribly with what we've come to expect. It's not some masterful subversion of expectations or something - in a lot of ways I consider it to be a genuine insult to the rest of the preboot's material up to this point. It's painfully and immediately clear that this is a story Penders has wanted to tell for a while, but, not being able to fit his "middle-aged adults adulting everywhere and being so adult-like while ignoring the feelings and difficulties that ordinary teenagers face" plot anywhere into the rest of the comic, he's opted to just fire the world a couple decades into the future, pair all the major characters off into weird and oftentimes arbitrary heterosexual marriages, give everyone 2.5 children and a titanium picket fence, and then throw in some allusions to the old "war against Doc 'Botnik" here and there lest we forget, entirely understandably at this point, that we're reading a Sonic the Hedgehog comic here. This thing goes on for nineteen whole issues, taking up each subsequent issue's backup story, and ultimately has no real impact on the actual story involving the characters we already know and love. However, this is technically canon, or at least a version of canon (as when you play with alternate realities and multiple timelines, futures are bound to get mixed up here and there), so we're gonna be covering it - all of it. I wouldn't be tempted to skip it anyway, as by delving into each chapter in this trainwreck, we can actually explore why this whole thing fails so hard, and why it's therefore so loathed in the fandom. Plus, I do recognize that some people actually do enjoy this arc for various reasons (one of my close friends does, and has a whole AU of her own relating to it in fact), so I do plan to at least try to be fair in my review - but I really can't hide that I find this whole affair boring as hell, often downright offensive, and ultimately completely out of place. With all that in mind, let's dive in!

We begin with a full page of exposition delivered to us via high school lecture, because everyone knows the best way to establish your worldbuilding is by infodumping it directly into your audience's eyeballs. Apparently, over the last twenty years, Angel Island has been heavily developed into its own independent republic, with a new city, Portal, acting as the center of trade between the island and the mainland below. We're once again introduced to Lara-Su, who, instead of being the badass time-traveling young adult whom we followed before, is now an ordinary teenager taking ordinary high school classes among a bunch of ordinary high school echidnas.

One of the biggest failings of this story is that Penders writes every teenage character how he thinks teenagers act, from his point of view as a middle-aged adult. This becomes abundantly clear the longer you read, as every teenager is a hormone-fueled, authority-defying, entitled, whiny, fickle child who just doesn't understand how the real world works, while every adult is a wise, experienced, and highly logical individual who always knows more than their younger fellows and refuses to pay attention to the whims of mere children. Like, I'm not even exaggerating here - I'm going to be pointing out every instance of this kind of behavior over the entire rest of this arc, and you can't stop me, so nyah nyah. Penders shows so little respect for the mere concept of teenagers, which is a terrible attitude to have not just in general, but especially if you're one of the head writers for an entire series about teenagers saving the goddamn world! Anyway, case in point: the teacher, instead of admonishing Rutan for being a bully, merely snaps at Lara-Su for not acting enough like a "young lady" and tells her to stay after class. Ugh.

Later that day, Rotor arrives on Angel Island as a liaison for the royal ruling couple, Queen Sally and King Sonic, because yes, Sonic literally becomes king in this timeline. He catches a ride from Harry - hey, good to see our favorite dingo still doing well for himself at least - and meets with Espio, who is now apparently Knuckles' secretary or something. At least, that's all I can assume from this weird-ass conversation.

As a matter of fact, yes, Sonic and Sally are bringing their two children, Sonia and Manik, to the family dinner! How very mid-70s domestic family unit of them! Espio informs Knuckles of this over a television screen as the latter broods around in some kind of high-tech facility. Unlike what we've seen of Espio, the years have dramatically changed Knuckles' appearance - his right eye is missing, replaced with a mechanical one, and he sports the cowboy hat that Hawking gave him in the past (you know, the one we never saw again after he received it). While I actually quite like the idea of a main character in the comic losing something as important as an eye, I feel like there's a huge missed opportunity here - instead of just thrusting us into an alternate future where everything is fine but one character is inexplicably missing an eye, how about actually showing us the story of how that eye was lost? Show us a Knuckles who's learning to cope with the loss of an important body part, and having to adjust to his mechanical prosthetic! Go into his feelings about the subject, as someone who has so long been opposed to a faction that thrives on mechanical prosthetics, instead of just skipping over what has the potential to be the most interesting part of this story! Ugh, sorry, there's just nothing that gets to me more than a missed opportunity like this. Knuckles and Espio exchange some tortured small-talk about their kids for a little while, with the only interesting part of the conversation being their discussion of Rotor's arrival and how he's likely here to see someone named Cobar, with whom he apparently has a history. More on that later. Knuckles excuses himself from the conversation, as he has to be home in time for his daughter's "Unveiling" tonight, and as the call ends we zoom out to see that apparently nowadays, the Master Emerald is hooked up to all sorts of technology in this facility, presumably maintaining everything automatically. However, this story isn't done throwing weird curveballs at us yet - it's time to see what our former villains are up to in this future!

There is so much to unpack here. Dimitri, feared overlord of the Dark Legion, is now an amiable cyborg-head-in-a-bubble. Lien-Da, the treacherous second-in-command who regularly spoke of betraying Dimitri and taking the Legion in her own darker direction, is now apparently a single mom who's embraced the domestic life, taking care of her rowdy teenage son while, predictably, complaining about the behavior of kids these days. And weirdest of all, apparently everyone is just fine with these literal former terrorists living in their midst and doing ordinary mom and grandpa things, with Lien-Da even apparently amenable to the idea of trying to make up with Julie-Su because "they're family," despite her history of, you know, erasing Julie-Su's memory multiple times and killing her biological parents as revenge for her birth. I mean, is this what Penders thinks adulthood is? Is he even entirely sane? Does he know the definition of terrorism?

Any-goddamn-way, Knuckles arrives home to his eerily sterile-looking steel-plated mansion that looks more like the lobby of a pharmaceutical laboratory than a place where people live, and greets his loving housewife Julie-Su, who's gained a cute giant ponytail but lost absolutely everything else that made her unique, including her own cybernetic parts and just her personality in general. She informs Knuckles that Lara-Su has locked herself in the bathroom and is having herself a mighty tantrum, refusing to come out to get ready for her Unveiling ceremony, which is apparently the equivalent of a Quinceañera for echidna girls. Knuckles, instead of doing something reasonable like asking her why she's upset, starts aggressively demanding that she come out of her room this instant, while Lara-Su repeatedly yells about how she doesn't wanna. Ugh, teenagers, amiright?

Seriously, I just can't get over how little respect Penders has for teenagers in his writing. Like, yes, I acknowledge that teenagers aren't always the most logical of beings, but they're also not goddamn three-year-olds either. They're old enough to articulate their desires and express their unique opinions, and often do so in very mature ways, especially if they're raised well and treated with the same respect you'd afford any adult. I should know, I was one myself. I would have assumed Penders was one as well at some point, but perhaps he just popped into the world one day as a fully-formed 43-year-old, full of disdain for those younger than himself. It would certainly explain everything we're seeing here.

Anyway, it turns out that the reason Lara-Su is upset is because Knuckles refuses to train her to be a Guardian, and so she whines and yells about it from behind the door like a petulant child as Knuckles continually refuses to actually give her a solid reason why he won't let her be one. When Julie-Su basically forces him to calm the hell down and explain himself, he reluctantly explains that since all the duties of a Guardian have by now been taken over by other functions of their society, he feels there's no longer any need for one, himself included. This is apparently enough to make Lara-Su immediately happy enough to burst out of the bathroom and grab her father's arm, suddenly totally excited to go to her Unveiling as long as Knuckles promises her the first dance. Ah, the fickle mind of a silly, silly teenager!

Kill me.

[realityhelixcreates]

Lasabrjotr Chapter 22: Interim

Chapters: 22/? Fandom: Thor (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Teen And Up Warnings: concealed racism Relationships: Loki x Reader (Let’s try this again) Characters: Loki (Marvel), Reader, Brunnhilde(Marvel), Thor(Marvel) Additional Tags: Post-Endgame: Best Possible Ending (Canon-Divergent), Lets Make This Bread, Royalty Means Short Weekends, That’s A Pauldron Summary: Everyone tries to go about their daily lives.

“You can just leave me here for a little while.” You told Brunnhilde. “I'm gonna bake up something tasty, but it'll take time.”

The kitchen staff moved around you, going about their own business, but not entirely ignoring you. You had been given permission by the kitchen supervisor to stay and make something, as long as you didn't disrupt his workers, or get in the way of the regular flow of the kitchens. Since you only wanted to use an oven, and a little space for making dough, you were pretty sure you could abide by those rules.

You rolled up your sleeves, put another apron on over your decorated apron, and began gathering ingredients. You became engrossed in your work quickly, lost in comfortable familiarity, so much that you didn't notice Brunnhilde leave.

                                                                      *****

Loki sat at his desk reading stacks of papers, and setting them in piles; some to be signed permission on, some to be denied. There were all kinds of things in these stacks, but mostly, there were requests. For specialized building materials, for permission to sell certain Asgardian-made items on the internet, For leave to go into the nearest town and place a large order for food and toiletries for the Einherjar and trainees, for priority on construction of this building or that, and so on, and so on. The kind of thing that needed the permission of authority, but not quite material that the king needed to bother himself with.

Loki didn't mind much; even if they were considered of lesser importance, they still needed to get done. And there were many, many more of them needing attention than Thor ever saw. Didn't that make him of at least equal importance?

This was the part of royalty that no one ever really thought about. Oh, they saw and coveted the luxury, the wealth and power, the title, the name. No one ever saw the paperwork. The sheer amount of things one had to know how to do. Even the noble houses had no idea of the scope of it, though the merchant class likely did.

Ugh, speaking of the noble class...Loki read with distaste through a petition to classify certain titles and jobs as 'Asgardian Heritage Occupations', effectively barring any members of other species from them. This was so obviously in reaction to the rumor of your appointment to seidkona, and yet, even if it wasn't, he couldn't sign off on it anyway, or he'd be out of a job himself. He put the petition on the 'denied' pile, and moved on.

Saga wanted permission to go out into the human encampment-they had taken to calling it Trolekaerhalla, 'the Hall of the Faithful'-so that she could learn and record their stories. Sadly, that would have to be denied as well, for now. He hadn't questioned them properly yet. On the pile it went.

Ah, now this was interesting. Not long ago, builders digging the foundation for an expansion to the-well, Loki supposed this would eventually be a palace-broke through into caves. Apparently, they had been formed from lava tubes, produced by one of the islands many volcanoes. It was worth exploring these caverns; if they ran under the city, they might need to be shored up in places, to keep the above ground portions from sinking, and they might be useful for storage, emergency escape and safety, or even for adding a second level to their city, if the tunnels were extensive enough.

This report stated the discovery of a solid wall of ice, blocking progress in exploration. That was interesting. An underground glacier could also be very useful, as a supply of fresh water. They had the river, and the surrounding fens, but the environmental specialists were very adamant about limiting water extraction. This might solve all those problems. The report asked permission for miners to be brought in to dig through the ice, in search of a way to the other side. Loki signed, and set the report on the pile.

It might be nice to go down and look at the caverns. When you came back, he should take you to see them too. If you wanted. He thought back to the picnic and stifled an embarrassed flinch. He'd taken you out, away from the city, alone, near the trees where you'd be hidden...what must you have been thinking then? What must that have looked like to you?

The next paper was a request for...oh no. Absolutely not. It was another request from the noble house of Kykvendings that he meet with their daughter. They'd been trying this for centuries now. Unnar was a fine lady, but it just wasn't going to happen.

That one went into the 'denied' pile.

It wasn't that he disliked the woman; she was refreshingly honest and blunt for a noble. She'd stated outright that she simply didn't want him. As a person who both detected lies, and was constantly surrounded by them, he treasured the honesty. It was one of the reasons he'd insisted on keeping Andsvarr.

The boy had never expected to be much of anything, and had grown up as the baby of the household, able to express himself freely, and not caring a bit about courtly intrigue. Then all four of his elder brothers had died in Hela's attack, and suddenly he was the only heir. He clashed with his father constantly, but he hadn't lost his sense of freedom. That made him valuable in the world of nobles, as far as Loki was concerned.

He'd rather keep Unnar as a semi-ally among the noble houses than ever give her family the slightest hint of a marriage alliance. Especially since the entire kingdom now knew the truth of his heritage, and he was fully aware of how the lady looked upon Frost Giants. He wouldn't do something so cruel to her as to force her hand to someone she found so very distasteful, even if that someone was himself. And he certainly wasn't interested in being wed to someone that he knew for certain would never want him.

In this new age, arranged marriages would be a thing of the past. Technically, it already was, but it was still common practice among nobles and some merchants. He would see the subject brought up to Thor. His brother wouldn't hesitate to ban the practice altogether. If there was anything Thor had grown to hate, it was the curtailing of basic freedoms. He didn't even want to build a prison!

Yes, he would bring it up with his brother, and he might never have to see another expectant request like this again.

His stomach grumbled.

He'd lost track of time. At least his paperwork was done, and he could get a snack without any guilt.

He headed to the kitchens, seeking something sweet. He'd just wandered in and grabbed a twist of honey bread when he spotted you. Everything around you suddenly became inconsequential; you filled his vision, the deft movements of your hands, the flour that dusted your clothes and smeared your face, powdered you white nearly to your elbows. The contented joy on your face, an expression he had never seen on you before.

How it drained away the instant your shining eyes landed on him. How you drew in on yourself, mumbled something and retreated hastily into one of the back pantries.

Oh, that stung.

He ate his honey bread as if he held a grudge against it, chewing ferociously as he surveyed your room, looking for ways that he could make it better. He'd sent people out after beautiful houseplants, and fairy lights, once he had looked up what they were. It would take some time though, even on Asgardian horses; the nearest town was quite far away, and there was no guarantee that the necessary items could be found there.

He wanted to make this a perfect home for you, but how could he expect you to come home when you couldn't even stand his presence? He hadn't anticipated how much that kind of rejection was going to hurt, but it sure did.

He would just have to deal with it. Be patient. Accept what he had earned. Acceptance was always the hardest part for him.

At least he knew now that it wasn't entirely him that was the problem. Someone else had hurt you, and you had projected that hurt onto him. Something could be done about that!

He wasn't allowed to kill the man. Brunnhilde had talked him out of it, after finding him eavesdropping outside her door and kicking him in both ankles.

“If you were listening, you know how she feels about it.” Brunnhilde had said.

“Yes, she said she hated him.” Loki had pointed out. “I would be happy to take vengeance on her behalf.”

“What vengeance? She already killed the guy once. You go after him and she'll hate you, I guarantee it. Think of something else.”

So how could he shed the skin of your past pain, and present himself to you as a new man? He really should have thought about this before. Of course terrible things could have potentially happened to you during the Snap; disaster all too often begat further disaster. And you were a woman, and available, and not completely unattractive. You would have had to face certain things...But never again. How did he differentiate himself from your projection?

Grand gestures and high drama would have been his preference. He found it satisfying, and was quite good at it. But perhaps it was better for you if he exercised subtlety instead. Or at least kept the grandeur to private moments and smaller gatherings.

He'd spoken to Thor about his ideas, and his brother had approved of all of them, enthusiastically. When you returned, he would set them into motion. When you returned.

Not if. He couldn't accept if. He couldn't let it become if.

                                                                        *****  

Sofie and no few others watched Fritjof carefully, as he spoke with the newest arrival. She had come all the way from Siberia, alone from the looks of it. She'd brought a very large, conical tent made of skins, and dyed with blue geometric designs. She had deep tan skin, straight black hair, and wore thick, luxurious fur clothing, also richly decorated with colorful designs.

Sofie found her beautiful, and she was clearly very bewildering to Fritjof, who had approached her haughtily, and was having the tables turned on him. The woman had apparently expected to be confronted about her appearance; she had her phone out, and was pointing out historical articles while reciting her family tree all the way back to Geirmund Heljarskinn.

That was fairly impressive; Sofie knew Fritjof couldn't trace his ancestors back more than five generations, and this young woman was walking all over him. Perhaps it was a little unkind, but Frit could use the shaking up, in Sofie's opinion.

She didn't know who had led him to his conclusions, but his worldview had been done a lot of good by being shattered by the likes of Heimdall and the black Einherjar; by _____, and now this indigenous Siberian woman, who knew more about her own family history than Fritjof ever would.

He left her to continue setting up her tent, perplexed.

“Not what you expected?” Sofie asked.

“She...I didn't expect any of that.” Frotjof said quietly. He'd been more subdued lately, his aggression slowly waning. “She says to just call her Savane and to not ask further, as it's complicated. She knew many names. Apparently she is descended from a Norwegian king? Says she is Nenets, but her people were Sikhirtya before that, but what I don't understand is why she came here? She's clearly immersed in her own culture and ways. Why leave that to come here? Why bring it with her while she is here?”

“Why not?” Asked a heavily tattooed man who was sharpening a fish-boning knife nearby. “Just looking at her, you can tell she knows how to take care of herself when winter comes calling. That's a boon to us; have you seen the tents those Australians brought? Like paper! Once she gets settled, I'm going to ask her about the construction of her tent and clothes. I might learn something valuable myself.”

Fritjof glared at the man, but it was a weak glare. His eyes seemed drawn to a tattooed Othala rune, flanked by ravens, that graced one thick shoulder.

“Precisely.” He said. “Why come here? She obviously doesn't need us. She doesn't need anything from us.”

“Why shouldn't she come just because she wants to?” Sofie asked. “Besides, she does have a connection. I know the name of her ancestor; he's famous here. She probably just wants to see the land of her ancestor; maybe she's drawn to the gods as well.”

“But doesn't she have her own?” Fritjof persisted. “Why does she need ours?”

“You do know that there isn't going to be less god to go around, just because there are more people here, right?” The tattooed man said. “You wanna have a go at me? I got Polish grandparents, you want to complain about that?”

“No, no.” Fritjof said. “It's just, she seems like she has everything. I don't understand why she would leave it.”

“Maybe it's we who need her. Maybe she was brought to us.” Sofie said. “You're right, she looks like she could teach us all a thing or two about winter survival. It doesn't really matter where she's from, she's a part of the community now, and we all help each other. Frit, you stay here and figure yourself out. I'm going to go greet her.”

“You know, this isn't all that hard to figure out.” The tattooed man said, as Fritjof watched Sofie approach the young woman with an apple. “You just have to get it through your head that you don't own anything. Gatekeeping is pointless. There's no gate.”

“And Odin speaks to you, does he?” Fritjof snapped. “You just know the way things are supposed to be?”

“Odin wandered the realms in search of wisdom. Where do you think he got it, the air? He learned from other people! Did our ancestors become great by staying home and never talking to anybody else? Use your head man! Humankind has always been on the move, always mixing, always learning from each other, always innovating. These are things that come naturally, but the gods inspire us to even more. Don't you hear them? Not in here.” The man pointed to his head. “In here.” He pointed to his heart.”

“There have to be rules.” Fritjof insisted.

“No. There don't.” The tattooed man countered. “There only needs to be what you alone know is right. Not what your message boards say is right, not what your government says is right, not what your father says is right. Why don't you take some time to think on what you know?”

“Why don't you mind your own business?”

“Why don't you?”

Silenced, Fritjof stalked back to his own tent, the sound of Sofie and Savane's laughter following him.

                                                                          *****

You were still kicking yourself. After all that talk about going back to your room, and moving forward, and looking at Loki in a new light, a single glance at the man had sent you running. You had been able to cover it with a story about looking for powdered sugar to make glaze with, and the kitchen staff had kindly furnished you with granulated sugar and an old-fashioned mortar and pestle. It had taken a moment for you to get the hang of it, but once you had, you had gone practically medieval on it. It was a convenient outlet for your embarrassment and frustration.

The glaze had come out beautifully though.

You'd made cinnamon rolls. Apparently, it was a recipe new to Asgard, because your tray of gooey goodness had everyone's attention. You ended up writing down instructions and making another batch in demonstration before they would let you leave.

You made it out with a plateful, heading to the familiar, anxiety-ridden halls where royalty resided. Andsvarr was thrilled to see you, and also extremely interested in the cinnamon rolls. You cheerfully gave him one, on the condition that he split it with Saldis.

You also left a whole roll for Loki, but could not bring yourself to enter the rooms and present it yourself.

You left one for Thor in the same way, And also Bjarkhild, and one cut into bite-sized pieces for the Valkyries to sample. One more went to Brunnhilde, which left one sweet treat for you.

How long since your last cinnamon roll? Ten years? A hundred? An eternity, it seemed.

Only two months. Maybe a little bit more. Two months and a single bite of a familiar treat brought you back to a completely different world, a completely different life. Cornfields and tornado sirens, buzzards and fireflies. All things that defined your life up to this point, all things that didn't exist here.

Iceland was quiet, even out here in the wilderness. No amphibious harmony at night, hardly any birdsong in the day. With the sun never quite setting, time was hard to tell. It was surreal, and you knew that sometime in the future, you would be facing the opposite. After these long days, would come the long nights, when the sun disappeared, and there would come a winter unlike any you had ever faced.

How did people live through such a thing? Obviously people had, for hundreds and hundreds of years, but it was hard for you to imagine. What did people do in that eternal, frozen night? How deep would the snow get? How would people work?

Would they just stop until the sun rose again? Surely not. How could a country run that way?

Maybe it was because you were American, but you couldn't fathom the idea of not working for three months. How could anyone keep occupied for so long? Especially if the snow forced everyone to stay indoors. Most of the jobs you had seen being performed were either in construction, or government. Construction would have to stop when the snow fell. What did all those workers do when winter came?

Perhaps that was when they practiced other jobs? For when the city was finally all built up, and construction workers were no longer in such high demand?

Well, you knew what you'd be doing. Learning. Magic and language, history and politics. You probably would not be able to train with the Valkyries during the winter. Your body just wasn't as resilient as theirs, and you would not be able to withstand as much cold as they could. Better get in as much practice as you could, while you still had time to do it.

You finished your cinnamon roll, and decided to head out to the training area. As usual, you gained more than a few stares on your way, but you didn't stare back, and you had your knife visible at your belt. Nobody bothered you.

Maybe Loki's idea of showing off actually had merit? It might be that Asgardians were just polite, or perhaps wrapping you in fine trappings made you seem untouchable. You hurried though, just in case that spell wore off once people noticed you had no escort.

You arrived to find Borgljot instructing the others on the repair of armor, using a pretty beat up leather set. You raised your hand as you approached. She pointed at you.

“Ah? Yes, supplementary student? Thy query?”

“Which part of that is the pauldron?”

“Why, 'tis this right here.” She obligingly pointed out the shoulder part. You nodded. Well, now you knew.

Borgljot tensed, then dropped the armor, all of the trainee Valkyries diving out of the way as a huge ax split the air between them, trailing lightning. You jumped back even further, grabbing for your knife. Borgljot began shouting orders, though she'd reverted to the Asgardian language, and you were the only person on the field who couldn't understand her. You snatched up the old armor and held it up in front of you, just as the ax came wheeling back along its course, knocking over one of the trainees who had stood up too swiftly.

The enormous weapon flew unerringly back into the kings hand as he strode out on the field, winged helmet and bossed armor shining under the everlasting sun. The Valkyries rushed him, but he knocked most of them back with a swing of the huge weapon.

Once again, you were impressed with the incredible strength displayed by the Asgardian people. No one should be able to wield a weapon that large and heavy one-handed like that!And to be struck by it, and yet get back up, like the Valkyries were! It shouldn't be possible.

Valda and Velda threw themselves at Thor's right leg, one stomping on his foot, the other jabbing him hard in the back of the knee. They barely made it buckle, and a swipe of his hand sent them both rolling as he laughed and shouted praise.

The Valkyries were inexhaustible, continuously being thrown to the ground, rising, and throwing themselves back into the fray. Thor let it go on for a minute or so longer, then struck the ground with the blade of the ax, lightning spraying out all around him. The energy arced from warrior to warrior, flooring each one.

A stray arc sped toward you, and in terror, you flung the armor and knife away from you, holding your hands out. You felt something sear through your body, deeper than your bones, but it wasn't the lightning. Instead, solid metal slammed you to the ground, pinning you there. The electric arc dissipated before touching you.

The great ax lay on your chest, too heavy to move. You had teleported the entire thing right to you.

You crowed at the sudden victory, throwing your fists into the air. You had done it! You had finally performed magic on your own!

Borgljot began shouting victory with you, and the others picked up the call.

Thor approached and retrieved his weapon, grinning broadly down at you. He took you by the arm and helped you back to your feet.

“Getting the hang of it now, are you?”

“Yes!” You beamed. “I know what it feels like now! I can...I...”

You sank slowly down to the pebbly ground, your limbs suddenly leaden. Shivering overtook your body, so hard it made your teeth chatter. Your brain fogged, but you didn't pass out, wallowing in confusion. What was happening?

Thor crouched next to you, a large, steadying hand on your shoulder. It didn't help at all, though it was at least warm. He shouted something to Brunnhilde, who sent one of the twins back into the building, and shooed the rest of the women away from you.

You could hardly hear anything, and what you could was garbled and nonsensical. You couldn't seem to form words within your own mouth. All you could do was lay shaking on the sand.

“What is this?” Brunnhilde demanded, kneeling next to you in the dirt. “Are you injured? Did the lightning hit you?”

“It's the magic.” Thor explained. “It hits her harder. It's all right _____, just wait a moment. Loki will be here soon. You'll be all right soon.”

You couldn't help but hope that he hurried.

[fyrapartnersearch]

Long term M/M roleplays

Hey! I’m Kat, and looking for some more roleplays. I’m in my early twenties, so no worries there, and I’m in the GMT+3 time-zone, though I tend to be up at odd hours and I’m often online.

I mainly want to roleplay M/M right now. I tend to write multi-para and more often than not my replies are 700+ words. I don’t mind shorter replies, as long as I get at least a few good sized paragraphs and correct spelling/grammar. Mistakes happen and that’s fine, but I don’t want to read something with no punctuation and that’s nothing but mistakes.

Also please read this whole thing before sending me a message!! I ask you don’t just send “wanna RP?”, because I won’t know unless you tell me something you had in mind: a plot, an idea of mine you liked, anything really.

As for smut, I adore it. I don’t want to write only smut for now, but anything from 20/80 to 80/20 on plot/smut ratio is good for me. Just tell me if you want more plot or smut.

In M/M smut I prefer playing a submissive/bottom character. I can play a dominant character, but I don’t enjoy it so I wish you’ll be willing to play an exclusively dominant role.

What I like:

- Medieval/historical settings (especially ancient Egypt/Rome/Greece) - Forbidden love - Arranged marriage - Lots and lots of drama and dark themes - But also fluffy scenes and cute/happy moments - Mpreg (not a must at all, if you’re not into it) - Supernatural beings (werewolves, vampires, demons, gods etc.) - Omega verse - Role reversal (such as, for example, a bully getting himself in a situation where the bullied has complete control)

I’m rather reserved when it comes to modern day settings, but I can do those as well if there’s a lot of action and drama involved. I prefer a plot-heavy story in modern setting though.

Pairings I’d like to try: (Dom/sub)

- Warlord/prince - King or prince/prince in an arranged marriage setting - Pirate or thief/nobility - Samurai/geisha - Nobility/prostitute - Servant/nobility or royalty - Guard/nobility or royalty - Bullied/Bully - Nerd/popular student - Stepbrothers - Demon/angel - Poor guy/rich guy in an Victorian era/early 20th century setting - Mage/human (yes I have just finished rewatching all Harry Potter movies lol) - Werewolf/human - Professor/student

And many more fun things, but I can’t remember everything off the top of my head. Feel free to suggest anything, really. I’m also very much into playing femboys/crossdressing characters, though if that’s not your thing I can do other kinds of characters as well. I know it’s a concern for many with these kinds of characters, so I’ll promise my characters are never the “I-can-do-nothing-on-my-own-and-will-cry-at-the-drop-of-a-hat-and-whine-the-rest-of-the-time” blushing virgin, maiden in distress types. No need to worry about that.

I am busy a lot, so I might not always have time to reply every day or even every other day, but I try to be as active as I can. Feel free to poke me if it takes more than a week or so though.

A few plot ideas: (MC = my character, YC = your character)

1) Insipred by the TV show “Lucifer”. YC is the Devil himself, ruler of Hell, the first fallen angel. He has grown tired of the same old tortured souls and fires of damnation scenery though and decides it’s time to visit Earth for a bit. A notorious playboy, seducer to sin, the owner of one of the hottest nightclubs in town is the image he creates for himself among humans. He grants wishes in exchange to favours and soon enough everyone knows of him. MC is a struggling student, or someone who has just graduated and can’t get on in life, and as a last resort goes to see YC. YC takes an immidiate liking to him, and initial fascination quickly turns into something more… human. Love, maybe? Suddenly YC has to make a choice of whether or not he’ll reveal who he truly is to the innocent human he has fallen for.

2) Once upon a time MC and YC were lovers, young and oh, so in love. They were happy together, planning their future, until one day YC disappeared without a trace and MC never saw him again. Until 10 years later; YC has inherited a large fortune from his uncle who had no family of his own, and one lonely evening he heads to a brothel to ease his longing for company. There, much to his shock, he is reunited with MC who is a shell of what he once was. The bubbly, social human, always so full of life, has turned into someone with a haunted look in his eyes and a deep distrust for other people. Not able to leave MC there, YC buys him from the brothel and takes him home. Now he needs to decide what to do with him. (Historical setting)

3) (Omega verse, preferably mpreg included) MC is a rare kind of a shifter, an omega desired by many. He was born in a different kind of a prison: to a man who breeds only the best omegas for the royalty. He and the other omegas he lives with have never seen the outside world. They are kept safe behind locks in the innermost monastery on the castle grounds, where there’s no chance of them getting out on their own. They are given to the harems of the royal family, or occasionally bought by the wealthies of the wealthy. But MC wants more, he wants independence and a life of his own, rather than a life dedicated to fawning over an alpha with an ego big enough as it is. YC is an alpha who has made a considerable contribution to the kingdom (could be anything from being an honored soldier to being a famous artist, whatever you come up with) and who is being gifted one of these rare omegas by the royal family themselves. On his visit to the monastery to choose one of them, he takes a liking to MC, the spiteful little thing who can’t seem to know when to shut up and who won’t bat his lashes and swoon at everything YC does. It seems like MC will be getting a new home.

4) MC is a shifter (species can be discussed and decided on later) who has been separated from his pack and survived alone for a while now. He gets caught in the middle of a fight between YC’s pack and YC’s rival pack, and after - possibly accidentally - saving YC’s life he is accepted into the pack. Some time passes, YC and MC grow closer, the suspicions some had about MC fade and MC feels he’s starting to belong in a pack again, when he finds out his old pack has merged with YC’s rival pack. Now he’ll have to choose whether he is loyal to his new, or his old pack. (I would prefer this had mpreg, but again not a necessity)

5) YC is a shapeshifter, the leader of a clan of dragons. Dragons have long ago been thought extinct, but the truth is there are still some clans left. The problem is, with the dominant personalities of dragons, it’s quite difficult to find a mate or a breeding partner. YC thinks to look for the solution outside the clan, to make humans their child-bearers. He picks MC as the first test subject. (Includes Mpreg)

6) Two countries have been at war since the beginning of time, as long as anyone can remember. All boys who come of age must join the army and go to war. MC knows he could not survive the war - he’s never touched a sword in his life, never hurt anyone. He’s not physically strong nor does he have any knowledge of fighting. His family has already died because of the war, leaving him alone on a small farm. So, to avoid having to go, just before coming of age MC started disguising himself as a woman. For some years it has worked out well, he’s lived his life peacefully on his little farm, until the enemy forces take the city just outside of which MC lives. YC is a high ranking officer (or the king) who takes an interest in MC, thinking he is a woman. Now MC must figure out what to do with the peculiar situation he finds himself in.

7) (A rare futuristic plotline I’ve been dying to do since I watched Black Mirror; Nosedive) People want good ratings on their pictures, on their posts and videos - on themselves. Everyone has a technological chip inserted into their eyes when they’re born that lets them see how other people are rated. Only the “best” humans in society are rated 9 or higher overall - 5 or lower makes life Hell on Earth for a person. Anyone can rate anyone on their phones every time they interact in person. One’s rating has a tremendous impact on their lives; whether they get the job they want, whether they can apply to a certain school, even whether or not they can buy a house in a certain neighborhood… this system makes creating deep relationships nearly impossible, because people are too afraid to show who they really are in fear of being rated badly. MC is the youngest son of a well-off family, an ideal family where everyone is rated 8.9 or higher, loved by most people. YC is from a family who have never much cared about the system. They are decently rated, but they don’t seem to care - what they care about is the honestly and real human relationships that are so hard to find nowadays. When MC and YC meet, MC is intrigued, but YC thinks MC is an empty shell only after numbers just like everyone else. Eventually, feelings start to develop between the two, but there are many problems to overcome, especially in their society. That’s it for now. I’m always happy to hear any ideas you might have as well, and all the ideas above can be modified or changed up a little!

My e-mail: kat_vainio@outlook.com

Anyway, hope to hear from you soon!!

[iamtaekooked]

Vanilla Rules || Ch 4 || pjm

Genre: Badboy! au, romance, drama, angst

Word count: 2.6k

SYNOPSIS:

Jimin uses the rumour about you and him to his advantage and forced you to act against your will, which might just mean his win and your loss. 

A/N: Here is Ch4!! I hope you guys enjoy reading it!! Thank you so much for all the love and support you have shown this fic!! ❤️

Ch 1 || Ch 2 || Ch 3 || Ch 4 || Ch 5 || Ch 6 || Ch 7 || Ch 8 || Ch 9 || 

The next day you found yourself to be the subject of almost every conversation that you were absentmindedly paying attention to. Curious eyes followed every movement throughout the day. Although you were very annoyed at how things were going, there was one thing to be thankful for: Jimin’s absence. He was nowhere to be seen, and your heart felt relieved beyond words could express. You weren’t sure whether the circulating rumours had made their way to him or not, but you doubted he would care.

Devil might have been listening to you because just then you bumped into none other than the man in question himself. Glaring at him, you tried to sidestep but he blocked your way by sliding in your way. You tried the same on your right but he did the same again. He was smirking down at you as usual and for a brief moment you wondered whether he could ever express himself any differently.

“Well hello there girlfriend” he bent down to your eye level, hands folded behind his back. You shot a furious look his way but it only caused a chuckle to rumble out of his chest. So he had heard the rumours.

“I have nothing to say to you so move out of my way” you seethed through clenched teeth.

“Ouch. Is that any way to treat your boyfriend y/n?” he faked hurt by placing a hand on his chest. You could hear the sheer amount of sarcasm in his voice and felt stupid for even saying anything to him. It was pointless.

“I mean I knew you lacked a brain up there” you paused to tap his forehead “but I didn’t know you were delusional too” the corners of your lip twisted up and a raised eyebrow completed the smug look you were mocking him with.

He clicked his tongue and shook his head standing up straighter to seem a bit more intimidating. “Well at least now I know you are aware of the situation. Lets have some fun shall we?” he cocked an eyebrow at you.“What the heck do you mean fun?” you asked outraged but he was already walking away in the opposite direction.

“You’ll find out. Girlfriend” his eyebrows raised quickly once, as he turned to look at you. You didn’t like the sound of “fun” when Jimin was the person who mentioned the word.

Score keeping had never been your thing yet you were thrusted into the situation because Taehyung was unable to make it to his duty for game night. It was the annual varsity tournament and your college was versing the Douglas Royals. The enmity between the two teams didn’t surprise you considering Jimin led the team, and it was well known that with his attitude enmity is more likely than friendship.

So you watched sweaty guys run around the basketball court in boredom. You didn’t understand why media platforms glorified sweat pouring down in heaps when it was plain disgusting. There were large shouts of opposition from the crowd against the referees call. One of the players from the opposing team had committed a foul for which after a collective decision by the referee’s a free throw was given to the home team.

Your breath caught in your throat when Jimin stepped up to take the free throw. The sleeveless jersey showing his perfectly sculpted biceps, leaving little to be imagined as to what the shirt hid underneath it. For the first time to your own repulsion ,you found yourself drooling over Park Jimin. The grey bandana was slick with sweat on his forehead and the centre parted hairstyle made him look more of a bad boy than he ever had. You caught yourself swallowing hard at the sight, but quickly reminded yourself that the man in front of you was the reason for 90% of the woes in your life.

The said reminder quickly chased away any sort of remotely normal feelings you felt towards the boy mere seconds ago. Jimin took his mark at the line, dribbling the ball a few times. Just a split second before he was going to take the shot he looked in your direction, eyes finding you at which point he winked at you. Surprised by the sudden action you hiccuped, which prompted him to laugh inwardly. Returning his focus to the basket in front of him, you stared intently at how his lips pouted because of how heavily he exhaled, hands coming up to hold the ball slightly above his forehead, sweat glistening on his skin, and one knee bending slightly in front of the other. You noticed as his eyes glanced briefly at the clock which was stopped at four seconds of the fourth quarter.

Raising himself to his full height he took the shot. In the silence you could hear swish of the net as the ball went through. The crowd behind you erupted in loud cheers as he made the perfect score and was hauled on top his teammates shoulders in celebration of finally winning the game. 

To your surprise you saw him giving a full-bellied laugh as he was being bounced up and down. It was probably the first time you had seen him laugh heartedly with no sign of any arrogance and rudeness. For the first time he looked like a normal boy without any reservations.

Your lips were twitching, slowly but surely tugging up at the corners in a smile. You couldn’t contain it given how happy everyone was. The gentle reminder from your brain that you could possibly get caught staring and smiling at him like that gave you cause to clear your throat and compose yourself. You definitely did not want to be the reason to add fuel to the rumours.

Then to your absolute horror you watched Jimin walking in your direction. The guy next to you who was also allotted the same duty as you clicked his tongue in amusement and you shot a deathly glare his way before returning your attention to Jimin. For a second the whole situation reminded you of scenes in movies where while the guy walks toward the girl and the  surroundings fade into nothingness. Shaking your head in an effort to shove away the thoughts to the back of your head you tried to divert your attention.

While you were absentmindedly looking for something else to focus your attention on Jimin had stopped in his tracks in front of you. Placing his hands on the table he leaned forwards towards you, studying your face as a single corner of his lips lifted up amusedly. Jimin didn’t know why but you always interested him. Maybe it was because you were the sole person who challenged him, made him furious beyond lengths. But he was definitely intrigued by you.

His eyes then fell on the notebook you were given for scorekeeping. Each minute was recorded in it from beginning to the end. Suddenly a phrase caught his eyes as he was scanning over the page. His eyes narrowed in interest as he read over it. You jumped back in fright seeing him standing over you, grinning lopsidedly.

He looked at you and then back at the notebook, and you mirrored his action. To your horror you saw the words written in black ink. Park Jimin isn’t bad to look at. You slammed it shut staring at him with wide eyes.

“So you do think I am good looking then. Why all the pretence?” he snatched it off the table.

Groaning in frustration you raised yourself from the chair, but before you could fully stand up Jimin shook his head at you in warning. He glanced behind you at the bleachers and found the both of being subjected to stares. He arched a sly eyebrow at you before leaning in close to your ear.

“I’d be careful if I were you. Everyone’s staring at us”

Carefully you partially turned your neck and from the corner of your eyes you saw the evidence of his statement as most of the people had broken out into whispering and mumbling.

“Give that back you asshole” you gritted through your teeth.

“Tell me the truth and I’ll give it to you” he raised the book up higher in the air as he saw you reaching for it.

“What truth?”

“The truth that you think I am hot”

You eyes shot up towards him in shock.

“What the fuck? I don’t fucking think that.Getting delusional again are we?” you squinted your eyes at him.

“Fine whatever” he lowered the book to his chest level and tore off the page that had the problematic phrase written on it. He then threw it in front of you. “The notebook is yours.”

“Wait- You- stop” you yelled at him, and immediately regretted it remembering that you were sort of the centre of attention at the moment.

Instead of making a scene in front of everyone you jogged after him before he could exit the court. Yanking him back by the arm you stared at him, nostrils flaring.

“Give that back to me” you put forth your hand demandingly.

“Why?” He shrugged his shoulders mockingly, full well knowing why you were asking for it.

“Why do you want it anyway?”

“ Its good leverage y/n. If word gets out about this…”

“ Why would anyone believe you? How does this prove its my handwriting?”

“Who else was scorekeeping today other than you and the other nerd?”

Damn it. He had a point. Surely it wouldn’t be the guy next to you, given that he was currently snogging off his girlfriend. So that only left you as the other target.

“Fine. What the fuck do you want?” You crossed your arms over your chest, taking a step towards him.

“I want you to kiss me. In front of all these people” he glanced around at the full gymnasium.

“Have you lost your fucking mind?” you yelled at him feeling livid.

“I haven’t lost anything. Either you fucking kiss me or I print this and distribute it tomorrow amongst the whole college. Think about it. Its your word against mine. Who do you think they will believe?”

Jimin was no doubt popular and surprisingly more liked of the two of you. Rubbing your forehead you exhaled a sharp breath before locking eyes with him. Either way you were going to lose.

Rising on your tip toes you shakily placed your hands in his shoulder. Your mouth was parched, and bile rose up in your throat. Before this moment even the thought of kissing him made you want to retch and you couldn’t believe your own shitty fucking odds.

Inching closer to him you let your eyes fall onto his lips. You felt his breath fanning your face and you almost didn’t want to. But then you remembered his threat. Hesitating for a few seconds you finally lent your lips onto his. Your eyes squeezed shut as your hands fisted the fabric of the seams on his shoulders.

You quickly pulled away retreating away a few steps from him. Wiping your mouth with the back of your hand you looked at him disgusted. But in return you were only met with a sly grin. 

Unbeknownst to you spectators had gathered around the two of you.

Wow they are really dating- Why does he like her? I thought they hated each other but guess not

All the comments made their way to your ears and your hands balled into fists at your side. The audacity and the cocky confidence with which he played you, shocked you to your core because you never saw it coming.

“Welcome to hell my dear girlfriend” he whispered into your ear and pressed a disgustingly feather light kiss to your cheek. You stood shocked in your spot as Jimin walked towards the exit.

So as you stood rooted in your spot, you found your mind blank, and you heart heavy. Your chest was constructing and it felt as if all the air in the room was being sucked out. You wanted to forget everything, or else your head was going to explode from all the stress that you had accumulated in the past few weeks.

You were definitely going to need alcohol and lots of it.

Sunlight filtered through the spaces between your curtains disturbing your sleep. You groaned and turned to your side, placing a pillow on your face to block the light. Your head was pounding and the brightly lit room wasn’t helping. Disoriented to your surroundings you sat up on your bed, groggily looking around trying to take in everything.

“Rise and shine” Taehyung peeked his head through the door and entered with a glass of water in his hand. You realized how parched your mouth was as he handed the glass to you, along with a pink pill which you assumed was for your hangover. You sighed in relief as the cold water soothed your throat. You directed the glass towards him.When after a few seconds the glass handn’t been taken away you looked up to find him pursing his lips. He was avoiding looking at you and you wondered why. But the crippling pain in your head was enough of a headache.

“What is it?” you asked rubbing sleep from your eyes.

He tentatively sat at the edge of your bed, his eyes darting around on the floor as if he was straining hard to think.

“Don’t you remember what happened last night?” His words caused your eyes to widen and you immediately covered your chest with your hands and timidly pushed the blanket closer to yourself. Taking a peek under the it you found yourself fully clothed. Breathing out a sigh of relief you let the blanket fall.

Nothing happened. Disaster averted.

He caught the expression on your face and rolled his eyes. He sighed before speaking again.

“Relax we didn’t have sex or anything” his gaze faltered from yours and you watched as he played with the tips of his fingers. A sign that he was nervous. Either that or he was the bringer of some bad news.

“I know. So what is it?” A tone of frustration evident in your voice.

“Something much worse” he cleared his throat as sighed again.

His eyes lifted up to meet yours and he licked his lips.

“You might or might not have kissed Jimin last night” he stared at you, studying your blank face carefully.

“Y/n” he waved his hand in front of your face.

It was as if his words had paralyzed you. You weren’t sure what to make of it. You wracked your brain trying to remember fragments from the night. But a cloud fog blocked your memory all thanks to the copious amounts of alcohol you had consumed. Your eyes diverted to Taehyung and you saw him looking at you with a hint of sympathy in his eyes.

With a defeated sigh, you covered yourself with the blanket once more and fell limply onto your back. And then all the images of you kissing Jimin hit you. You remembered how he had blackmailed you into kissing him in front of half the college. Bile and acid pooled in your mouth and you felt disgusted, violated.

So that was his version of revenge against you for slapping him and puking on him.You had to give him credit because he pulled it off real well. He got you where he wanted:right next to him just so he could make mess up your shitty life more than it already was.

You really hated Park fucking Jimin. Thats as simple as it got. You would always hate him.

The disaster wasn’t averted. It was just beginning.

[hogwartsstudentstories]

The Forty Students

So if you’ve seen the picture posts, we already know which is the main character, but…each one will have their own backstory. We figured quick short stories about key moments or moments of joy/anguish/pride/etc...are good enough. We want character and this takes place during Voldemort’s first rise to power, well...for the most part. It doesn’t last long though. We will definitely be doing a lot about their lives after school. So here’s a VERY brief synopsis of each character. WARNING THOUGH! If you click keep reading, there is a very long post waiting for you. You have been warned.

Nicole Bates: A popular and occasionally snobby young lady that enjoys wizarding fashion and music. She hopes that all of her hard work and studies in school will allow her to be the best in her career. She hopes to one day become a Healer at an institute such as St. Mungo's. She enjoys researching potions and one day hopes to alleviate ailments associated with more nefarious ones. 

Jimmy Birchwood: At first, a happy go lucky young man that suffered a Bludger mishap during a practice and is now stoic, cold, and extremely unamused by life. He’s currently Keeper on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team. When not practicing Quidditch or doing homework, he can usually be found reading in either his common room or the library. Despite being an impressive Quidditch player, Birchwood would rather go off to be an auror.

Alan Bowen: A loyal young man and a Hippogriff enthusiast with a bit of a lighthearted yet rude streak. He still cares for his friends and plays Chaser on the Slytherin Quidditch team. He prefers to be with a small group of friends rather than a large one. He hopes to one day own a ranch where he can breed Hippogriff and teach people about how awesome they are!

Taylor Brown: A quiet young lad that just wants to stay out of trouble...please!? He sometimes finds it difficult to understand his housemates, so he tends to keep to himself or be with Olivia in the library. In the end, he just wants to work in the Dept. of Magical Games and Sports. Doing what you ask? Scheduling Quidditch matches. The games may be what the people look forward to, but without a scheduler, there can be no good games!

Camilla Conners: A young lady that enjoys Herbology and the occasional prank or two, and hey, throw Quidditch in there too. She plays Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. She always ties to cheer up her friends at every turn, no matter how she's feeling. She wants to open up a shop with her friend Jennifer. She's great at cultivating magical and nonmagical plants for her friends potions.

Thomas Denton: A young man obsessed with the creatures of the magical world and hates being the butt of a certain Gryffindor's pranks. Well, he isn't necessarily the target, he just finds himself in the way. He tries to figure out how to get them back, but his housemates don't want anything to do with those antics. He has an interest in Magizoology and hopes to be a valuable asset to the research team in Romania.

Jennifer Dobbins: Relaxed and ever ready to aid her friends, she's a passionate potions enthusiast with a heart of gold. She sometimes has small bouts of anxiety when she puts her homework off to the last minute (minus potions of course!) Her friend Camilla agreed to open up a shop once they left Hogwarts. Her potions skills are top notch and she wants to share a range of potions with the world!

Marsha Donalds: Quiet and reserved, she prefers studying alone in the library, but has an eye for ministry mishaps. Because of her knack for gathering facts on people, she also learned how to read other's body language. Because of her talent for digging through the news to garner facts about the ministry and other people of importance in the wizarding world, she wishes to become a Daily Prophet reporter.

Eric Felder: A cocky and conceited young man with a brash attitude and an even bigger mouth. Add in the fact that he’s a Seeker for the Slytherin Quidditch team and you have even more trouble. He has a rather short temper, so that leads to some unneeded confrontations. Eric wishes to venture off into the world of potioneering and hopes to one day discover some new and useful potions that will take the world by storm.

Weston Fitzgerald: A scholar through and through, he strives to be the best a student can be all while trying to keep his cousin out of trouble. After all, he is Head Boy and Ravenclaw prefect...it’s his duty! His cousin really knows how to press all of his buttons to stress him out. Weston loves dueling and co-captains the Dueling Club with Gregory. He wants to use his talents to become an auror.

Gregory Goldstein: A rather absent minded young man with a knack for dueling, but he is a gentleman and loves the Dueling Club he co-captains with Weston Fitzgerald. He tries to perform small acts of kindness to others to brighten up their days. He and Weston want to become aurors in the future, and Gregory knows that one day, there will be a time where he will be needed as one. He can feel it.

Stanley Green: Calm, cool, and collected at all times, nobody can stop this guy's nonchalant attitude and super chill personality, except Transfiguration...that boy is excited for that. Not only is Transfiguration his passion, but he loves Quidditch and plays Keeper for the Gryffindor team. He proves to have a knack for talking his way out of situations. Stanley however, gets tired of Quidditch after Hogwarts (playing anyway) and joins the Broom Regulatory Unit at the Ministry.

Jane Hosking: A fashion lover with an elegant air to her, but she'll still throw you a death glare for wearing that dreadful color combination of orange and lime green. Thankfully she won’t use her Slytherin prefect authority to dock points for it! She makes sure that her outfits are always perfectly matched. She eventually wants to become a fashion icon in the wizarding world and she will do it! SHE WILL!

Sienna Hunter: Need a hand? She's got your back. Sienna may not always appear to be the friendliest person, but she will gladly assist you with your homework...if she thinks she’s good enough at the subject! She sometimes cons a few people she assists out of a few extra sickles and knuts. Sierra has a knack for giving out sweet deals to younger students looking for some Honeyduke's candy and because of her prowess with money, she chooses to work for Gringott's.

Heidi Irvine: A sophisticated, and occasionally rude young lady that seeks to be the best. Even without meaning to, she can come off as insensitive. She plays Seeker on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team and has declared herself co-captain. She’s also Hufflepuff prefect. What more could she ask for? Because the talent scouts don't choose Heidi, she goes off to become a Healer at St. Mungo's. 

Arthur Jacobs: Constantly dragged into shenanigans, he just wants to plant things...give him a break please! When he gets that break, he can go off and play Quidditch with the Gryffindors. He’s a pretty good Beater and an even better Gryffindor prefect. He usually comes off as quiet and friendly. Eventually, he becomes a Herbologist, often supplying Camilla with some interesting plants he discovers around the world.

Matthew Jarrett: A young man that loves a good joke or discussion about muggle television shows. He often finds himself rambling on about the shows.  He’s a muggle born...what can I say? Often times, he thinks about what happens when he just randomly waves his wand and mutters words, especially the TV show titles. This curiosity led him to wanting to be a Spell Inventor at the Ministry.

Evelyn Jones: A chattery young lady that is intrigued by everyday gossip and a good story. Because of her expertise at crafting juicy gossip stories. She loves telling long stories that she makes up to cause a little bit  of drama. Evelyn wants to work for the Muggle Worthy Excuse Committee when she leaves Hogwarts.

Gwenog Jones: A brutal beater on her house Quidditch team, whose skills don’t get to shine as well as they should thanks to her Quidditch “co-captain”. She  often tutors some of her housemates whenever they need it, especially her Quidditch pals. She wants to play for the Holyhead Harpies when she leaves Hogwarts, but hopes that Heidi isn't ruining it for her. She does happen to meet with a talent scout for the Harpies.

Michael Kravitz: A laid back young man who gets lost and confused quite easily.  He likes to be around his friends and has found a liking for playing Quidditch, just not on his house team anymore. He tends to be a bit of a foodie, which causes a few food coma days. Dragons are his passion. He loves anything to do with dragons from their eggs, to how their scales glisten in the sun! He hopes to have a reservation for dragons that have been illegally purchased and abandoned as babies.

James Lawrence: A loud and fun loving young man that dreams of becoming a Quidditch player. He loves Quidditch and causing commotion in class...well, when he can...Otherwise, playing Chaser for the Gryffindor team is his life and as captain he wants to ensure his team gets to finally share in a win to celebrate together. He sometimes ends up being the tiniest bit of a sore loser when he misses the win by an inch. When he leaves school, he hopes to be as great of a sports entertainer in professional Quidditch as he is at Hogwarts and dreams of playing for the Montrose Magpies...he wouldn't even be upset by a signing on with the Chudley Cannons.

Katherine Long: A young lady that absolutely loves numbers. She likes to keep track of scores, house points, and well...predict the future with them. She asks everyone she meets at school if she can predict their future. Her love for arithmancy has led her to wanting to become a world renowned arithmancer, or at least one good enough to be credible in Diagon Alley.

Carlisle Martin: A narcissistic young man that can’t keep his ego in check and that just means he can’t get what he wants most of the time. He likes to think he has it all as Slytherin prefect and Slytherin Quidditch captain (chaser too), but he always loses out on what matters most. He tends to come off as arrogant, even when trying to just have a normal conversation. He has a slight interest in magical creatures many wizards would consider pests. He wants to become a top member of the Pest Advisory Bureau when he leaves Hogwarts. It's not the most noble job, but someone has to do it!

Carrie Mileno: A strict and rule loving young lady that hates when her housemates misbehave and lose them any kind of lead they had. She is a Gryffindor prefect and Head Girl. Why wouldn’t she try to keep her house in line!? She would much rather study or do her assignments than have to worry about being a "babysitter" for her housemates. Carrie has a knack for charms and counter curses, having been extremely well versed in Charms and Transfiguration. She wishes to become a Curse Breaker for the Ministry of Magic, a job requiring several talents.

Olivia Mitchells: A shy and quiet young lady that prefers studying and wand work to the hustle and bustle of the castle corridors and students, but as Ravenclaw prefect, she does do her duty! Even though she's on the shy side, she does her best to help the new students when they need it. She enjoys studying unique magic at the Hogwarts library with Taylor and hopes to become a Metal Charmer after her time at Hogwarts.

Hughbert O’Reily: A gentle and kind young man that desires to make the world a better and brighter place, and he wants to reach those goals. He tries to make friends in every house to prove that they don't need old grudges anymore, a new way of thinking is needed. Hughbert hopes that becoming an auror will bring about the world changes he desires. He knows the risks and would do anything to ensure the world is at peace again.

Brianna Parks: A mischievous and playful young lady that enjoys hovering around her friends to cheer them on...or to scare them...either works. She tends to be a bit clingy to people that she considers her best friends. While preferring the role of Chaser, Brianna decided to step up her game and tryout for a position as a Gryffindor Beater...and she got it! Despite her playful nature, she's an extremely gifted healer. She may have made mistakes in her early years, but she lived by practice makes perfect.

Arnold Reynard: An egotistical young man that highly believes he is better than anyone else. He fawns over his house and can be a bully. He’s still bitter that he didn’t get the Head Boy position, but is still content with being a top notch Hufflepuff prefect. Everything he does is by the book, one little mishap can get your house docked points. His knack for perfection has led him to pursuing a career in the Magical Trading Standards Body for the Department of International Magical Cooperation.

Rosalia Riverton: Studious, reserved, intelligent, creative, and elegant...a true Ravenclaw, but she is overshadowed by other students in popularity. She keeps herself in the know of different spells and charms she could use to help others. She often finds herself discussing new healing techniques with both Nicole and Heidi, making it her life's goal to become a healer despite all of the difficulties of learning every potential spell she could see on a day to day basis. She just hopes her talents won't be needed for a crisis. . .she just wants things to be like how they were...a time of peace.

Samuel Robertson: A bright and kind young man that has a fascination with how wands work and wants desperately to be a wandmaker to share his passion with others. Our main character that despite his cheery, creative, and loving nature, is often bullied for being muggle born and won’t fight back because of his conflict averse nature. Even though bullied, he is willing to help others, always giving them the benefit of the doubt. Samuel indeed finds himself craving the taste of adventure when he leaves Hogwarts. He plans on being an apprentice for Ollivander before going off to start his own wand shop somewhere. The U.S.? Australia? Canada? The choices are endless! He just hopes that he can see his friends again one day. He may not have had a lot, but the ones he did make left a lasting impact on him.

Lysandra Rowntree: A quiet, yet easily angered young lady that gets upset when even the slightest things go wrong. She always has a worst case scenario plan in mind. Usually, she keeps to herself and hates anything to do with gossip and rumors. When she isn't in the common room, great hall, or classes. . .she often finds herself tucked away in the corner of the library to research little known and lost pieces of magic. She has even found herself in the restricted Section on multiple occasions. Her goal is to become an Unspeakable in the Department of Mysteries. 

Shawn Upton: Cunning and reserved, he prefers to hang out with one or two at most at a time. He flirts with evil, but finds change along the way. He can be a bit cold at times and it takes a while for him to warm up. Shawn knows that he and his friends will end up far apart on their journeys to self discovery. He hopes that getting a job at the Portkey Office at the ministry will allow him to see them from time to time.

Brian Valentine: A hard working young man that believes that the magical world is full of weird and unusual folk. He isn’t the biggest fan of that. He almost regrets not going to a muggle school instead of Hogwarts. Because of his upbringing with muggles and his lack of normality in the wizarding world, he chooses to manage the gift shop at St. Mungo's where he hopes to make a hefty profit and live as comfortably as possible.

Kelsey Valeria: A dramatic and elegant young lady that wishes to bring her acting talent to center stage. She often writes her own little scripts and gets her friends to help her practice on the weekends. After Hogwarts, she hopes to become an actress for the wizarding world. Her intentions are to go to Italy to perform, but she could deal with radio dramas around wizarding UK. 

Freddie Veners: A muggle born that enjoys a good Quidditch game or two. He loves having a good laugh and enjoys moments of commotion. He’s the captain and chaser for the Ravenclaw Quidditch team...and he loves giving his best friend James Lawrence a rough time.  He evens plays pranks with Lawrence from time to time, much to the dismay of the teachers. Freddie himself decides that he doesn't want to pursue Quidditch outside of Hogwarts and instead, continues to focus on his schoolwork to hopefully become an Obliviator in the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes for the Ministry.  

Karmen Williams: A young lady that loves the music of the wizarding world and wants to bring her charisma to the airwaves. She practices her interviewing skills with Samuel whenever she gets a chance to see him. She hopes that one day she can get her own broadcast on the radio where she can interview new wizarding musicians and celebs!

Terrance Wilson: A young man that loves Quidditch and enjoys discussing the stats and scores. He can be a bit naïve and paranoid at a times. He never lets the paranoia get in the way of his A game though! He plays the role of Beater on the Ravenclaw team and adores every minute of the game. He truly wants to continue his Quidditch career after he graduates from Hogwarts. Terrance hopes to play for Pride of Portree or the Montrose Magpies. Even the Tutshill Tornados wouldn't be too bad!

Riana Wychwood: An elegant and refined young lady who loves music, but also has a passion and talent for divination. She makes sure to allot time for herself to practice her instrument at least half an hour everyday. She enjoys her position as Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, thankful her friend James Lawrence let her stay on the team throughout the years. Riana chooses to avoid prophecies when she can, choosing to focus on her music. Though, she plans to have a small divination shop to work in when the orchestra isn't playing.

Sarah Yielding: A happy go lucky young lady that supports her friend’s Quidditch team...when they aren’t playing each other that is. She often has to become the mediator between Gwenog and Heidi after the game if they lose. She plays the position of Keeper on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. Sarah wants to open up her own tavern to serve the wizarding public and keep them up and refreshed!

Amy Zergona: A rule abiding young lady that wishes to one day work at the Ministry of Magic to keep her parents proud of her. Due to that fact, she prefers to study for hours on end instead of going on Hogsmeade trips or hanging out with her friends. Her love for rules has her wanting to become a worker in the Improper Use of Magic Office. If you can't follow the rules, warnings are required!

[abadpoetwithdreams]

Nirvana in Fire Episode 3 Reaction

I’m back with more long-winded babbling about this incredibly complicated show! I mean that as a good thing–this plot has so many plates spinning at once, and so many layers of character interaction, and it’s all done really well and we haven’t even really started yet! This is still just setting the stage! By the end of this episode, however, it feels like things are actually getting ready to kick off more. The basic foundation that we need of who all these people are and what their agendas are is firmly established and now we are ready to see where the story goes. Or not ready? Ready in the mind but not in the heart.

Note: this reaction is really just a glorified recap. I tried shortening it because, uh, LONG, but this episode is SO FULL OF IMPORTANT EXPOSITION that I couldn’t really comment on my reaction to any one thing without having to contextualize it with other things, and any of the few seemingly non-important things were all really fun character bits so I want to talk about them and. Um. I guess I’ll alternate how I format my reaction posts between more streamlined bulletpoint reactions and long-winded recapping depending on episode content.

Also! This was the last episode I watched where I took any kind of notes until episode like 12 (I’m on ep 17 now guys help but I’m holding off watching more so I can write these. Barely). When I write up eps 4-11 I’ll keep my later knowledge from coloring what I remember my initial responses to be as much as possible.

(And a HUGE thank you to everyone who has welcomed me to this fandom and to those of you who have sent me feedback on my recaps and helpful commentary! I LOVE THIS SHOW. I will reply to your comments in a separate post because I want to foster this dialogue, because I LOVE THIS SHOW and want to talk about it! So thanks, guys, don’t hesitate to send me messages or whatever, every one of them makes my day!)

We resume the story in this episode exactly where we left off in the last one (as seems to be the norm with this show): with Ni Huang and Lin Shu–I mean, Mei Chang Su–I mean, let’s be real he’s always Lin Shu whenever Ni Huang is around–ok let’s start over. We resume the story with a slave child getting beaten by a eunuch. When the eunuch realizes the boy has a book on him, his rage only increases, but I’m immediately interested because this slave can read?? Hm.

The eunuch taunts the boy, telling him the fact that Prince Jing favors him does not protect him because no one likes Jing, lol. But Chang Su instantly looks even more interested in the scene, and speaking of Jing, he comes running up, and insists the eunuch stop hitting the kid. The eunuch responds by listing the boy’s punishable offenses (among them “talking back” and like lol did you forget which Prince you’re talking to??? I’m pretty sure all you did was make Jing high5 this kid mentally) and trying to pull rank via the Empress, but while Jing just stands there tongue-tied and stormy like he seems to be a lot (I really love him and his Serious-Sad-Grumpy face) Ni Huang interrupts by WHIPPING THE EUNUCH FROM LIKE SIX FEET AWAY.

Have I said I adore Ni Huang? Because I adore Ni Huang. I love how she uses her popularity and power to sort of defend Jing. Based on the last two episodes we can see what a good match she is for Lin Shu, as she is brilliant and charming and you can see how they click intellectually (even as he tries to disguise himself from her, their minds work together too easily) but here we can also see what a good partnership she has with Jing. I don’t mean romantically. I just mean she is exactly the friend he needs. “Thank you for your help, but I can handle a servant,” he tells her gravely. No, Jing. You can’t. It’s adorable. While Ni Huang kindly explains to Jing about how politics works, Chang Su, who has been watching this all with poorly concealed heart eyes, hurries over to comfort the boy and ask his name. THAT gets the immediate attention of the other two. Jing looks worried as he suddenly remembers that Chang Su is there. Iiiiiiiiinteresting.

The boy’s name is Ting Sheng, and he’s eleven. The big battle that killed Lin Shu’s father? Happened twelve years ago. Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinteresting.

Jing doesn’t seem pleased at this line of questioning. Chang Su looks startled when Jing speaks up, like he was so interested in this kid he had forgotten he was not alone. Whenever he looks surprised about something or like he’s scrambling about something I can’t help but wonder if it’s legit or if he’s just playing what he wants the others to see. This time, it looks genuine to me but he recovers fast.

Meanwhile, back at the tournament, the Crown Prince and Prince Yu look bored out of their minds because Chang Su isn’t around for them to fawn over. As soon as they realize he isn’t coming back, they ditch. I know that doesn’t sound funny on paper, but trust me, it’s funny as heck. I love these actors so much. Their mannerisms as they squabble (both when they’re actually arguing and just in the tension whenever they’re near each other) are hysterically funny, but their power and motivations in the story are very serious, so they remain formidable opponents for our Hero With Three Names. It’s a wonderful balance that the show’s writing and these actors manage to achieve, and I am enjoying it a lot.

(I hope Yu Jin and Jing Rui can relax and have a bit more fun now that those two have left the premises, btw. I want only happiness for those sweethearts. Ha. Haha. Don’t mock me in your replies to this, fandom. I know it’s a foolish hope. Don’t crush my dreams, not this early in the show.)

Back with our dream team, Jing is suspicious of Chang Su. In this whole conversation, Ni Huang plays an intriguing role in both supporting Jing but also defending Chang Su. Chang Su asks Jing why he cares about this boy. Jing, after an uncomfortable pause, says the kid is literate and his mother was a disgraced woman who could read and so Jing feels bad for him and that’s all. And okay, granted, I haven’t been given enough time yet to get to know Jing very well, but what I do know is that he is a TERRIBLE liar. Even Ni Huang looks like she feels a bit sorry for him. I believe what he’s saying–up to a point. But no way does Jing care just because this kid wasn’t born a peasant. There’s more to this for sure.

Chang Su offers to help teach the boy how to read, as I guess he is technically literate but not very good at comprehension yet. The boy is excited, but Jing seems even more unhappy at the attention Chang Su is showing the kid. Poor Jing. Learn to stop wearing your unhappiness on your sleeve, man.. Be like Ni Huang. Everyone should be like Ni Huang.

Then we get some exposition courtesy of our favourite princess, explaining that as a slave Ting Sheng cannot come and go freely, and only a decree from the Emperor could free him, but not only does the Emperor never free slaves, he dislikes even the suggestion that he free them. Thus Jing, who is already on dangerously thin ice in court, has had to keep quiet on the subject, which also explains his worry at Chang Su shaking things up. Our sneaky drama boy just smiles and says he’ll think of something. Attaboy, Shu.

Jing asks aggressively why Chang Su is so very interested in helping this kid, Chang Su replies with what I can already tell is his patented “I’m sorry could you repeat that I can’t hear you over the sound of my illness and harmlessness” smile. Hilariously, Ni Huang then cuts in to turn the question back on poor Jing. Chang Su’s smile turns just a shade smugger at that. He’s got to control himself around Ni Huang. She already clearly suspects him, and he’s only been around her for like ten minutes.

Anyway, I’ve spent way too much time on this scene because I loved it so much (I love these three people so to see them all spar together for the first time was super fun) but the scene ends with Jing walking away with the boy and looking quite adorable as he does, and saying he will wait and see what Chang Su does. And Ni Huang continues to be very intrigued by Chang Su.

Back at the tournament, Ni Huang’s baby brother arranges to have one of his men test Chang Su somehow because he’s alarmed that this strange scholar has been getting friendly with his sister. It’s hilarious that this brother thinks that Ni Huang needs protecting, but also that’s very sweet of him. I guess.

The show is unnecessarily cruel by having the old Dowager’s calling to Lin Shu play as VO as Chang Su walks pensively out of the palace. I’m never getting over that scene. But then he gets attacked by baby brother’s man and doesn’t so much as blink when the soldier charges because Fei Liu is there to save him! THIS KID. He is all ready to Hulk Smash the soldier, but Chang Su almost amusedly makes sure he doesn’t. (Side note: The attacker mentions Chang Su looks weak. I can’t help but wonder more and more if Shu is frustrated about how his body has (apparently?) failed him, leaving him with only his mind and charisma as weapons against the people who wronged his family? Since he’s such a great thinker, I am assuming he must have been a prodigy in warfare as well when he was younger. Since filial piety is a huge thing for his culture (basically virtue #1 if I remember my Chinese studies from college accurately) I am guessing a major motivation for him isn’t just revenge for his sake but for his father’s sake somehow. That’s a huge task he has set up for himself, but his means to accomplish it have been very handicapped, and meanwhile all these other characters get big action sequences and stunts and he just has to. Stand there. And smile blandly. And bury every part of himself that IS himself deep down inside. Related to this, I wonder if the actor himself found it frustrating at times how he just has to dress up and stand in the background of all the fun wirework scenes, lol. Maybe he gets to let loose a bit more later in the series. I have no idea.)

But things only get REALLY interesting here when who shows up but that general I liked last episode!! He’s still great, and dismisses the soldier angrily: “You’re not leaving yet? Are you waiting around to have a meal with me?” -best burn of this show so far, oh my gosh.

BUT THEN.

“It’s been twelve years. You’ve finally made your way back.”

!!!!!!

HE KNOWS WHO CHANG SU REALLY IS.

Not only that, but they apparently were corresponding for five years now, and he is worried because he had repeatedly warned Lin Shu that it would be too dangerous for him to return. But, now that he’s here, he’s 200% ready to do whatever Lin Shu wants and to help him do whatever it is he’s trying to do in whatever way he can. This guy is an AMAZING friend. And, given his high status in the palace as the head of the guard, from what I can tell, he’s an immensely valuable ally. I’m so glad!! I’m honestly also surprised, as I did not expect people to start recognizing Lin Shu as early as episode 3..

(“I’m finally home,” Lin Shu says, and ugh, isn’t that depressing.)

Also, it’s confirmed that he planned to have Fei Liu attack the general so that would serve as their sneaky introduction, because Lin Shu is ridiculously dramatic. Was he always this way, or is that just one of the ways falling off a cliff Mufasa-style changes a soul?

They arrange to meet at his house on Jing Rui’s dad’s estate that night(it’s called Snow Cottage, apparently? Cute name) to talk more freely. Cut to that night: Ni Huang is furious at her brother for his horrible attempt at protecting her. The actor who plays her brother plays the character as so much more casual and spontaneous than 99% of the characters on this show, and it makes him seem both very likable and very young. Don’t hurt him, show. Pls.

Ni Huang explains that Chang Su isn’t just a random scholar friend of Jing Rui’s: he’s the lord of that Eastern Yangtze Alliance and he sent tactical help once when she and her brother were having difficulty defeating their enemy at some battle. She’s convinced there’s more to him than meets the eye.

Then we cut to mister mysterious himself, who has fallen asleep sitting in his chair all wrapped up in his robes and then if that isn’t cute enough Fei Liu hurries up to tuck furs over him and I nearly died from this cuteness squared. Then, alas, the moment is ruined by the arrival of the general–Commander General Meng, actually, seems to be his name proper. Fei Liu still hates him because of their fight, and Meng is concerned that Lin Shu is burning coals in a brazier even though it isn’t that cold. Remember: he’s sickly. The show keeps throwing up little “HE IS UNWELL” flags like this, but so far there isn’t any evidence really of what exactly is wrong with him beyond his restraint in action and his apparent sensitivity to cold. I’m guessing this is planting seeds for episodes to come.

Something else that jumps out at me is that for the first time Lin Shu admits he isn’t 100% sure of what his plan is. He has obviously planned ahead a LOT (he did have 12 years to scheme, after all), but there is a certain amount of winging it that seems to be happening, too. Part of the fun of this show so far is trying to figure out how much of what happens is Lin Shu influencing events 20 moves ahead like a chess master, and how much is him being very adaptable and fast on his feet with strategy.

Meng insists on being Lin Shu’s ally in whatever he’s doing and will continue to pretend they don’t know each other well. He is apparently this loyal because he was part of the Lin army at some point. He asks how many people survived the battle. Shu says as far as people Meng would recognize goes, it’s only him and someone called Wei Zheng. I don’t think we’ve been introduced yet?

Meng then asks what happened in the battle. YES. TELL US THIS.

Flashback time!!!! … It shows nothing we haven’t seen before, though. Dangit. But when we cut back to Shu’s face, he’s got actual tears in his eyes and it’s all very intense. Poor boy is still traumatized, seemingly. And angry. He tells Meng he’ll reveal all when the time is right. I want to argue that the time could be right right now, but oh well. I can wait. Maybe.

Meng agrees, because he is a Good Friend and can see how the topic affects Shu. Then he basically asks for orders, and I guess we will find out what those are later! Next day, Yu Jin and Jing Rui are leaving for the tournament and are greeted at the door by literal wagonloads of gifts from Prince Yu and the Crown Prince. This got a good laugh out of me, I love how their very serious rivalry manifests in absurdity at least in this stage of the game. I also love Jing Rui’s frogface expression of “I am not amused but secretly I rather am.” Protect him, show. I’m worried about how close his story is tied with Chang Su.

Montage time! Jing Rui looks splendid in his fight at the tournament, and Yu Jin actually looks almost as good! They’re both great fighters despite being so laid-back, and that makes me love them even MORE. “You could have won with 58 stances, but you had to stall until the 65th to show off your gorgeous pose,” Jing Rui tells a very, very pleased with himself Yu Jin, and it’s so Good. Just. I want these two to run far away. Now.

Btw, I’m assuming they’re in the tournament to try to take two of those top ten spots, not because they actually want to marry Ni Huang. I’m pretty sure it’s established she could defeat them in combat anyway.

There’s a brief shot of a giant hairy wall of a man who is winning his bouts by punching out swordsmen. I am guessing he will be important as the tournament progresses. Oh, and the boys do get spots in the final two. Yay! I’m very proud of them.

The emperor is pleased that most of the final ten are not foreigners and thus make his kingdom look good. The lady who I think is the Crown Prince’s mother tries to coyly convince the emperor to favor a candidate she likes, but he replies that the Empress has already asked the same thing, just for another candidate. Ha. He then says that it doesn’t matter anyway because he’s not going to judge the exams: some random impartial scholar Ni Huang recommended is going to.

Good Lord, Emperor. You are making a mistake. It’s almost pitiful how wrong you are.

(I am distracted throughout this scene by how beautiful the woman’s eye makeup is. I tend to paint my eyes exactly those colors when I do my own eye makeup, so I feel vindicated. I guess it’s the Chinese ancestry in me coming out in mysterious ways.)

Chang Su’s reaction to the news he is to grade the exams is curious to me. I don’t know for sure, obviously–but it looks like the wheels start spinning very quickly in his head. I feel like Ni Huang requesting him as the examiner was a power move on her part; I do not think he was expecting it and now he has to adapt fast. I could be wrong. But I think his question of “how does the emperor know about me?” is him genuinely thinking out loud. Did he not plan on being this conspicuous this fast?

The giant man at the tournament is Baili Qi, and he is from Northern Yan, so outside the kingdom. This is problematic, because he totally demolishes another one of the finalists in a single punch, leaving the three boys (Ni Huang’s little brother, and the duo) thunderstruck. I LOVED Yu Jin’s tentative “maybe we could beat him together?”/Jing Rui’s incredulous face/Yu Jin conceding that nah, they’re toast. These two. I believe in you guys! Defeat him with the power of friendship!

The Emperor is LIVID. Marrying Ni Huang off to a former enemy would strengthen that enemy with her considerable following and would potentially embolden them to new war. He asks the Princes for a solution, and for once they are dead silent. Meng says when asked that he does not think Ni Huang can defeat Baili Qin, but I wonder if he has something up his sleeve here because he looks a little shifty, and in his nighttime meeting with Chang Su he did ask for orders … He looks uncharacteristically calculating as he watches the princes, is all I’m saying.

Meanwhile, Ni Huang’s little bro (whose name I must learn) is even MORE LIVID. He is acting like he is the one that’s getting married, lollllll.

Ni Huang, however, seems weirdly calm until she asks gently, with a pensive smile: “Do you know what a perfect match is?”

AAAAAAND CUT TO MEI CHANG SU.

I live for obvious editing like that. It was very satisfying. Oh this sad couple.

Now here comes what feels like one of the most important scenes in an episode filled with important scenes (this show is ridiculously dense, guys. I can’t believe I’m only on 3?????): a long bit of exposition explaining the significance of Jing Rui’s name. Told by a gleeful Yu Jin. Can he do all exposition for this show? He’s so fun.

I’m not ashamed to say I rewatched this scene twice to make sure I followed, because it just feels like such an important story I don’t want to be confused ten or twenty episodes on. But basically: Jing Rui was named so to mark him as being related to the Imperial family. This is because (I THIIINK) his mother is the current emperor’s sister??? HOWEVER. When he was born, there was a plague or something that made it necessary for his mother to leave the palace and go to some remote area for her safety. Because the princess is a kind person, she let another traveling pregnant woman (who I guess is from a powerful family in her own right but is not royalty) stay in the same place while she was there, and they became friends. They also ended up going into labor at the same time, and birthing sons the same stormy night. During the storm, however, the lights were doused and in the confusion the babies were misplaced so when the lights were restored, no one could be certain which boy belonged to which mother. This problem was compounded when one of the infants died the next day. So each family had equal claim to the living baby. Instead of solving this problem like Solomon would have done, the Emperor just declared Jing Rui is the son of both families, so he has two moms and two dads I guess but he only lives with one set of parents? Anyway his name signifies that. So it could confuse foreigners into thinking he is the emperor’s son, which we see borne out when one of the Northern Yan delegation bribes a eunuch to find out this whole story.

In addition, him being the son of both families has bound his families together into one big happy family??? The son of one set of parents has married the daughter of the other set and it’s all very confusing but Jing Rui seems comfortable so ok. I don’t know if I’ve met both his sets of parents. I know I’ve seen the princess and the Marquis … Xie? Something like that. Roundish face, beard. But I don’t remember seeing a Zhou or Jing Rui interacting with a Zhou, so. Hmmmmmm.

This story is too detailed. It’s gotta come back to bite us later. I don’t know how, but I’m already upset.

Jing Rui plans to challenge Baili Qi at the feast for the final ten suitors, in hopes of injuring him enough that Ni Huang will be able to beat him. He’s so pure. Ni Huang’s brother bursts into the manor like a breath of fresh air and literally drags Chang Su away, babbling at him about how he trusts Chang Su to defeat Baili Qi and totally steamrolling Chang Su’s attempts to keep his usual reserved and polite man of mystery facade intact. The unspoken rule of this show is that everyone hangs of Chang Su’s every word; Ni Huang’s brother just cuts him off mid-sentence lol. Arguably the best-delivered line of the episode: “If you can’t handle him, I’d have to have him beaten up.”

And then! Chang Su! Is announced! In the palace! Well, it’s his other fake name but whatever. He walks in and Ni Huang looks very pleased with herself and the theeeeeme music plaaaaaaays

The music feels very internalized. This moment isn’t important to anyone except Lin Shu right now but it’s SO important to him, so–MUSIC.

I also got a bit giddy at this whole scene because the camera keeps cutting to show all these characters gathered in one place and it was like–oh. OH. Everyone is here. Our major players are here. The game is officially started. It was a pretty cool moment.

And he gets to sit next to Ni Huang, so he’s already winning. And so is she, judging by the look on her face XD

Prince Yu suggests the finalists duel each other as entertainment. The Crown Prince, of course, immediately bounces up to argue against this idea, but hilariously in the middle of his pompous speech he notices Chang Su ever so slightly shake his head: no. The lame, stuttering backtrack the Crown Prince clumsily manages is beautiful to behold, and Yu looks very smug. Both princes seem to think Chang Su is helping them, which I feel like might lead to problems later, but for now Lin Shu is just having fun with playing them both like a couple of bratty, red-gold fiddles.

Oh, and intercut with this is the harem of Emperor concubines (is harem the right term here? Idk. You know what I mean) discussing Ni Huang’s upcoming marriage, but it isn’t that interesting a scene so I’m glossing over it. It just reinforces that the emperor’s actual wife and favourite concubine hate each other and are playing power games of their own, trying to one-up each other. Meanwhile, Jing Rui’s mother is both angelically lovely AND angelically nice, apparently. I really like this actress’s voice.

Ok but enough of that scene. At the feast, the emperor happily agrees to this idea to have the men fight, and good ol Jing Rui immediately jumps up to challenge Baili Qi. Ni Huang watches keenly, but Chang Su is seemingly entirely absorbed in peeling a tangerine, this jerk. He is having waaaaay too much fun with this.

To be fair, tangerine peeling is a task that requires 100% attention. Gotta get rid of all those white fibers that stick to the segments.

Jing Rui gets into this amazing stance that almost kills me from how pretty it is, and then–fight, fight, fight! This is my favourite bit of combat of the entire show so far (admittedly there hasn’t been THAT much fighting anyway) because of the contrasting choreography. The styles are very distinct and the camerawork is so smooth. I also feel SO BAD for those actors, because filming complex choreographed sequences while wearing all that fake hair and layers of satin and silk must be the WORST. I would know; I’m an Irish dancer.

While Jing Rui easily looks the faster and more disciplined fighter, however, it’s like he’s hitting a wall; Baili Qi is simply too strong. So our boy ends up only barely holding his own, much to the Liang crowd’s distress. Except for Chang Su, who still only looks mildly interested as he chews what looks like the entire tangerine in his mouth. This jerk. I love him so much. No one is even watching him and he’s still gotta be extra.

Yu Jin, worried about his friend, calls out that for the match to be really fair, Jing Rui should have a sword, because that’s what he usually fights with; he’s not a brawler like Baili Qi. The emperor nods, and so Meng CHUCKS A SWORD AT JING RUI. I would not feel like that was a greaaaat help if I was him, but Jing Rui has much better reflexes than I do and so he does this fantastic flip-kick-the-sword-into-the-air stunt and tries to maneuver Baili Qi under it. Alas, he forgets that he is not the stronger of the two, and Baili Qi easily spins so Jing Rui is under the sword instead. In the nick of time, however, Jing Rui snatches the sword out of the air BEHIND HIS BACK and presses to the attack. Once again, however, Baili Qi wins the upper hand and manages to both snatch the sword from Jing Rui AND send Jing Rui flying into a table, smashing into and over it and scattering fruit everywhere.

(“Oh no, the tangerines!” Chang Su says for the benefit of anyone listening, or at least I’m headcanoning this is his reaction offscreen. In the wide shot literally NOBODY ELSE in this entire hall is eating except him. Extra funny: he looks like he’s having issues swallowing that ridiculously large mouthful of fruit he took earlier. He needs to curb that part of him that likes Drama, because if he wants to be inconspicuous he shouldn’t be so obviously flagging that he’s impartial and uninterested here, good lord. LOOK AT ME IM SO NOT WORTH LOOKING AT, he screams. I wonder if he was a prankster growing up, as he seems to get a prankster’s delight out of stuff like this. It isn’t all grim and dark on his journey to do whatever it is he’s doing. Not yet, anyway. I still don’t trust his friendship with the boys. And he’s already manipulating the heck out of everyone, including Ni Huang–although that latter might be a mistake, because she clearly knows something is Up with him.)

Before Baili Qi-with-sword (aka Baili Qi the Grim Reaper) can take Jing Rui out, however, the emperor yells for the fight to stop–and that’s the cliffhanger ending of this episode.

Will Baili Qi marry Ni Huang? (HA. As if.) Will Jing Rui be okay? (I have my doubts about the long run because he is Too Good, but for now I think he’s pretttttty safe.) Will Mei Chang Su manage to swallow that tangerine fast enough to say whatever it is he needs to say to spin this situation to his advantage? (50/50 chance on that one.) Only one way to find out–on to episode 4!

[yusenki]

Interview with Eren’s & Erwin’s VA: Yuki Kaji x Daisuke Ono

[translation: @yusenki | editing: twitter@braunsofsteel | scans: @m-u-m-i ] Note: This interview took place after SNK season 2 episode 10 was aired.

Eren Yeager: A boy who dreams of the world outside the wall. After he graduated from the Training Corps, he joined the Survey Corps, which attempts to advance outside the walls. He has strong motivation, so he tends to be reckless.

Erwin Smith: The Commander of the Survey Corps. Ruthless with excellent leadership, even Levi acknowledges his superiority. Basically, he almost never shows his emotion.

The thrill of the series lies on the fear that your position may crumble at any point in time.

Journalist (J): Finally, after 4 years, SNK season 2 is here!

Kaji (K): Although it seems like in these 4 years I have been constantly involved with SNK recording projects—such as collaboration events, narrations, extra story parodies, with of all those various works, when I finally returned to the main series’ atmosphere, part of me still feels anxiety. We need to go back to that timeline when Eren and co. just learned the shocking truth about Annie’s true form.

Ono (O): It has been a while since I played Erwin. During season 1, I personally didn't grasp the full picture of Erwin and I'd thought, “I want to know more about Erwin. I want to know more about SNK”. The fact that season 2 exists fills me with happiness.

K: Ever since season 1, there are the charms from shocking developments, (character) portrayals, and extravagant battle scenes. However, my impression is that season 2 will be added with the charm of mystery. If I were to say that season 1 was filled with an intense, blazing red flame, the image of season 2 is the core of that flame, a calm blue flame that slowly burns.

J: It feels like the composition has completely changed from fighting against the titans, whose origins are unknown, to the doubt that the truth may be about human vs human.

K: That’s why there is an increase of scenes without titan transformation. Like the scene where Eren was intensely debating with Reiner, Bertolt, and Ymir.

O: It made people think that the enemy is not just mindless beasts that simply attack, but it's like they might be more intelligent… In season 1 Erwin asked Eren, “What do you see?” I felt that question was also directed to us. I feel that it is getting more interesting, not only just the story. At the same time, we can also see deeper into characters’ backgrounds. Sasha’s father, who speaks in Oita *(prefecture in Japan) dialect also made his appearance.

K: When we know the background, we will feel more affection. In season one, the story revolves around the perspective of a group of people with Eren as the center. However, in season 2, there are many occasions where Eren doesn’t make his appearance and other members receive intense spotlight. I can strongly feel that each character is actually alive and it doesn’t feel that they are just part of a flock. That is the reason that every death is heavy…

J: As soon as season 2 starts, it gave such a huge impact with Mike meeting his heroic end.

O: Well… in season 1, most of the strong impression I got was of his olfactory senses.

K: Also his image was of a skilled soldier with a unique habit. Now it has been revealed what he thinks and his commitment.

O: He is someone who upholds the “we haven’t lost as long as we continue fighting” belief and his capabilities are second only to Levi. By all means, it was shocking to see someone like him defeated in one brief second. At the same time, all the things that have been piling up at that moment disappeared, and I finally felt that I have returned to the SNK.

K: I understand. Me too. I also felt the real sensation that this is the SNK world, when I returned to the moment where Oluo & co., the old Levi’s squad were just gone.

O: It is scary because your foothold can suddenly crumble.

J: Ono-san, have you checked out the SNK manga?

O: I have heard about developments afterward from people around me and I ended up checking it up myself because it occupied my thought.

K: On the contrary, because I am playing Eren, I try not to find out future developments. However, I think it is a good idea to know about future developments when you’re performing a character like Erwin.

O: Well, even though I asked Isayama-sensei about Erwin, the answer was unexpected. “Erwin is modelled after Clark Kent.” *laughs* Anyway, the only way is to look at the comic. Unexpectedly, Erwin had a long-standing appearance.

K: When I saw Ono-san at the recording of the first episode of season 1, I was quite bewildered, “Was Erwin actually here in the manga (first chapter)?” *laugh*.

O: The current him is here now because he is one of the SC soldiers during that expedition. Actually, it is inevitable. As my feelings grew deeper along with his appearance, I couldn’t help doubting whether he is actually a bad guy or not. But in fact, due to his pure desire to learn more about this world and titans, I got the philosophy of his behaviour. Because I could finally understand him, I changed my approach on his portrayal this time. For I, who has been blank for these 4 years, this is a positive direction. On the contrary, for Kaji-kun, this may be a bit heavy after 4 years of blankness.

K: The atmosphere after recording was indeed different, there might be some anxiety when you finally returned as the leader back then… Even though we were naturally pulled back when it started. When we gathered at that moment, each of us was trying to grasp what we need to do (we had to work individually to grasp it). There had been a lot of worries.

O: The atmosphere was like when everyone puts their lives on the line.

K: There are a lot of good things, but as a voice actor, this is a role with more hardships. There were almost no fun… That’s why everyone compensates at SNK the Real Game *laugh*.

O: Even people who were supposedly busy also came.

K: I could feel that everyone seriously aimed to complete this series successfully. I feel that this also can be the other way of enjoying the SNK series that delights everyone.

J: Speaking of VA, new cast like the Beast Titan’s VA, Takehito Koyasu and others, have also gained some attention.

O: There are many (recording) takes where Koyasu-san tried to perform in various patterns. It was through trial and error to get the right one.

K: I think that’s the way to achieve the right performance. The current form is the result from the perseverance in finding “how far the Beast Titan could talk”. Even for the staff, they wondered a lot on many things, like what kind of effect should be applied to the voice, how to credit Koyasu-san’s name.

O: It feels like in the midst of darkness where nobody knows the truth.  Everyone is fumbling and pursuing for the light. For Erwin, that is the most intriguing subject, but I personally really like Koyasu-san’s performance, so I asked for permission to observe the recording.

J: In season 2, the shocking truth that Reiner and Bertolt can transform into titans, was revealed.

K: When I read the manga, I totally didn’t realize Reiner and Bertolt’s real form. I was just shocked… It was also because the revelation was done in a casual manner, behind the other characters’ conversation, so I was really surprised! *laugh*

O: I was not performing at that scene, but was surprised to hear that an important dialogue was performed like background chatter, just like in the manga.

K: To retain the flowing atmosphere of the scene, I even wanted to perform the scene with a pre-recording method, before the drawings were completed. Moreover, Reiner’s VA, Yoshimasa Hosoya-san, performed the confession in such a natural way at that moment, I was shaken just like Eren…That’s when I felt connected to Eren’s reaction, “You traitors!” Despite the connection through rage, during the recording, I felt not only anger but also the sadness of despair… It’s obvious since he thought that they were comrades, but they turned out to be enemies.

O: To be honest, I can sympathize with how they act based on their own objectives. I don’t know if it’s because I am playing Erwin, but I came to understand that each of us has our own justification.

K: There was also a moment where Reiner even forgot that he was actually lying. He had been deceiving himself for long.

O: My chest hurts when I think that each SNK character is fighting their own conflict during the time not shown in the anime. The next episode with Hannes-san’s big scene makes my heart wrench. When I think about it, there are a lot of people in this world who live, not for themselves, but for others. Yet they don’t talk it and only spit out their real feelings at their deathbed. Because of that, it made me feel like, “you should have said it out earlier…”

K: That’s so SNK. *laughs*

O: Nanaba also left an impression in season 2.

K: Since the manga, her death has left such an impression. The song’s influence was really effective. I thought, “The most impressive part of season 1’s song will be played here, right?”

J: Speaking about drama, the relationship between Christa and Ymir, has been uncovered bit by bit.

O: Honestly, at the beginning, I thought Christa was only cute. I didn’t think that she would have such drama. Sorry about it.

K: I didn’t even know that the Ymir character existed. She didn’t have much presence (in season 1) since her name was displayed as ‘Freckles’. To think that in season 2… *laugh* In summary, all of the characters’ drama is really interlocked in a complicated way. It is more like Eren doesn’t have much presence. Moreover, rather than being the one who saves, he is the one that is being saved *laugh*.

J: Rather than being a hero, he is more of a princess *laugh*.

O: That’s right!

K: This series says that even if you can transform into a titan, it doesn’t mean that you become the strongest, and that includes Eren too.The shonen manga theory does not apply to SNK.

O: It’s not all about if Eren works hard, he can do it. I think from Erwin’s point of view, all of us rely too much on Eren.

K: It’s not impossible, wanting to rely on the obtained titan transformation power.

O: While having that thought, it turned out that the enemies have more people who have that ability, and also there are collisions among comrades…This story is about how far this present situation can deteriorate. However, I am glad to find that each character’s real face was revealed because they didn’t rely on Eren’s power. In season 2, maybe it is about many soldiers’ stories, not about Eren. Although there were painful moments, as long as people witness our way of life without missing any single moment— whether it is Erwin's or mine—we are happy.

K: Despite only knowing this much, I think it is amazing that every week when I am watching the show being aired, I want to know what will happen next. The series is still ongoing. It will become even more interesting and also even more painful. Please enjoy it with resolution. Thank you!

Q: Which character would you want to have as a superior or subordinate?

O: I definitely want Levi to be my subordinate.

K: Are you speaking as Erwin? It will be a serious hardship for someone like Ono-san to deal with Levi.

O: If it’s Ono Daisuke…it’s impossible. No, it’s possible if we worked together on the radio (program)* for 10 years *laugh*.

*T/N: Erwin’s VA & Levi’s VA have a radio program together. The radio program has been on going for 10 years. 

K: If you say that, won’t Hiroshi Kamiya (Levi’s VA) get mad at you? Is that alright? *laugh*

O: Seems like this is not alright, let’s end the conversation here. *laugh* Nevertheless, I admire the prowess of Levi being a one-man army, a guy who makes it through to the core by himself. Whether I can manage him is another matter.

K: On the contrary, I want to be Erwin’s subordinate, because he is the man that Levi placed his trust in, and that equals the person who we should follow, right? Well, since he is the leader, who gives extreme orders, there must be some complexity in the subordinates’ point of view.

O: In season 1, Armin made a reference to Erwin: “In order to achieve something, they need to leave behind their humanity”. The fast growing Armin has the potential to become Erwin’s successor. He realized that such extreme decisions are necessary in order to lead mankind… My personal thought as Ono Daisuke is that Armin is Erwin’s successor, but I have mixed feelings about it. I also don’t want him to be his successor.

K: You don’t want Armin to end up like him. As Eren, I think so too.

Kaji’s message to Eren: Maybe it's "I understand your sadness, but keep fighting!". As for Reiner and Bertolt, "What was that smile for?!" I personally want to scream it out.

Ono’s message to Erwin: "What can your current self see?" I want to ask him that.

[lordofsunshadowandsailor]

replies

because many and long and thorough:

danjaley replied to your photo “A single glance sufficed for Alvar to see he would have a hard time...”

I like this thought. And it links Alvar and Tobio on yet another level.

In future updates we shall learn how their relationship developed after that first sexual encounter, but I thought I’d already leave this hinting at their paths, that is really so different between themselves. 

danjaley replied to your photoset “There lay a peculiar emptiness to the closet, though. Tobio’s clothes...”

Oh dear, this really is a large bottle of wine! ;)

And it’s a particularly beautiful one, right, @aroundthesims

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photo “The outbreak of war had interrupted the normal and predictable career...”

I like this so much. Fire always makes beautiful effects. And the background! I'm looking forward to see more of your WW I recreations.

It is so atmospheric, I agree. One can feel the ambient just because of the image of the fire pit. It must be our ancestral collective memories.

As for the WWI, this is when the steampunk accent creeps in... There is virtually nothing specific to recreate the war, so it will be more on the side of fantasy and imagination than recreation...

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photoset “There lay a peculiar emptiness to the closet, though. Tobio’s clothes...”

What a luxurious bedroom.

Oh, Alvar think it is so middling class, so constraining in its humbleness... But it did take a lot work to build this set!

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photo “Alvar had then ventured into yet another room of his friend’s house...”

Alvar still looks kinda hot...

Poor Alvar. He would never think of himself as hot -- did people use that term back then? --, and not in his lame post-war persona anyways... But I agree with you, he still looks fit and his partial nudity in contrast with the formal attire is kinda hot!

hyperkaos replied to your photo “The outbreak of war had interrupted the normal and predictable career...”

I keep coming back to see if you've added more to this, it intrigues me as to how it ties into everything else

And it took only a few days... Sorry to keep you waiting. I hope it makes more sense now.

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Tobio?” Alvar inquired, in a voice that suddenly sounded not just...”

Oh hi!!! I remember you from 'beneath the stairs!' lolol x

And what stairs are we talking about? Because Alvar has been carrying Apollo Jim since the margins of the river, up those incredible stone stairs where Death tried to dissuade and distract him :)

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Tobio!” He exhaled the name more than called it, and finally seemed...”

I love the blend also @tyrellsimsoficeandfire

I simply cannot imagine my game without the Greek outfits made @venusprincess-simblr, even if I am not playing the Greco-roman world any longer, so I always make up reasons to use them... :)

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Where do I place him, Tobio?” It could have been said that he...”

What are the scars on his face from? Crazy experiments? Acid attack? He wants to be a super-villain?

Poor Tobio. He is super nothing, except perhaps super lonely, super devastated, super sad. 

I don’t think I have described the ambush that cost his eye, have I? Then I should!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “With a sharp sting across his chest, Alvar deposed Apollo Jim on the...”

I love the description of Alv's perception of death by the window. Beautiful!

Thank you! I’m glad you like it!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Tobio could tell why, but he wanted to listen it from Alvar. Lost Boys...”

Weeds on the soil of wealth. Wow. Your writing is masterful!

Writing is like bathing in a river that springs from yourself. You just pick the right words as they float by you.

But when I am not in the process of actually writing words down, I wonder... Did I really write that?

Thank you always for your support!

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photo “They hadn’t seen each other in nearly a decade. Freddie’s occasional...”

I always like the atmosphere your shots hsbe6. One can really feel the warmth and intimacy! Also, do I spot danjaley's fireside poses?

I don’t think I remember her poses, but I probably should... These poses are actually from two guys cuddling next to a car, on the floor of a parking lot... Not the least like this scene, actually! But when I saw it I knew it was just right for Alvar and his cousin Freddie.

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photo “Probably feeling guilty in his irresponsible repose, in dreams – where...”

I'm curious if there's some reason why they are associated with greece?

It’s the ideal time, in the understanding and idealization of the Victorian era, for their love otherwise condemned and forbidden, called then the Greek Love... I have explained it in this post, and declarations-of-drama has a comment below that adds to this, too, if you want to read my answer to it.

danjaley replied to your photo “I understand it, Alvie.” Alvar’s name in Frederic’s mouth was little...”

I was going to say they have these characteristic WW1 faces, but I've come to realize it must be the style rather than the faces, when I compare them with the Greek versions. That's interesting, as I always wonder where those types disappear to when they go out of fashion - or how we'd all look if the year was 1917...

Thank you for mentioning this! It’s very interesting isn’t it?

I did make a post with my inspirations to create the characters for LoSSS. I f look closely to their faces, they are timeless male beauties, considering Western and Classical Greek standards... And they do resemble contemporary male models or actors of our days. It’s their hairstyles and clothes and the photography of course that makes them dated, like you say.

Just like sometimes I meet Italian people who do look like a Roman marble statue come to life...

hyperkaos replied to your photo “Dreaming was all they had had for a while to keep their love thriving...”

So young, so willing to give up everything for hopes and dreams, for love, Alvar's innocence hurts

Yes, that is Alvar, at his purest in the company of the man of his life!

fancifults3cc reblogged your photo and added:

Oh no! A crime of passion!

Oh, I would say this is a crime against passion, Alvar and Freddie’s passion!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “You already have, Lord Phallihurst.” Tobio affirmed, after having...”

So, something mixed with the Absinthe?

This is what we know or are led to believe so far. Maybe Tobio  will find out more.

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Tobio could tell why, but he wanted to listen it from Alvar. Lost Boys...”

I also had to come back to this chapter to read your description again of the brothels. I've done a bit of reading about these places before now and am sort of a bit fascinated by the whole logistics of how those places conducted business and the lives of the workers etc etc. You paint a very graphic image of it.

I admit to not having researched extensively on this subject, other than reading about brothels and a little about sexuality and pornography in Victorian times -- though this is supposedly Edwardian times (or the end of it) in the story, and then WWI and the changes it brought... I’m happy you did not find any inconsistencies, but please do let me know if you spot any! 

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “The boy stood clearly not for a sailor, though the hat could have been...”

But why would he be wearing a false tattoo? Roleplay? To be seen as a sailor boy I guess?

The tattoo matches the strange outfit, though not so strange for a rent boy who is supposed to fulfill his clients’ fantasies... 

The plots holds several small mysteries, and this is one of them...

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “I don’t think I understand it, Alvar Andrew. You don’t intend to...”

Why is there so much concern for this boy? I'm a bit lost here.

I hope this has been answered in this post, though it is left ambiguous and rather open as Alvar does not utter a word, leaving Tobio to conclude...

I  shall have to be more explicit in the future about the link between Alvar and the boy.

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “You are taking him to your ancestral lands? To live under the same...”

Good question! And Tobio has probably seen too many to be as bothered about him tbh

Exactly, that’s what he says, too! And the next post to this holds the revelation...

declarations-of-drama reblogged your photo and added:

Art against art…

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Not proud.  Not the least, not Alvar.  Not for any past weaknesses,...”

This is amazingly beautiful! The contrast really catches my eye and it's almost hard to distinguish the Sim from the painting! Well done!!! x

Thank you so much for the reblog, and your kind words, dear!

I did play a lot with this scene. I tried several choices of paintings, and different poses for Alvar, and changed the colors on the wallpaper until it matched and still contrasted with Alvar’s skin.

I’m hardly ever satisfied with lighting in Sims 3, and that the part I try to correct in PS.

I’m so glad you liked the final result, and the one shot I chose to upload from the dozen I made :)

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “But still, quite accomplished.  As if again turned into thorn flesh,...”

Alvar should also have phantom pains, and boils would come and go to accompany the intrusion of a false support. Also he would probably call it his stump and not his amputated leg (which is by now probably lost, burned or used in medical science).

I did not reflect about this, thinking an amputated leg was both what remained and what was removed... But you are right saying that sometimes the specific word is stump... I’ll have to rewrite this, and pay more attention from now on!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “His temples throbbed, too, as if his heart, oscillating between...”

Why do I get the feeling that Alv wants to be one of Tob's patients himself? Was it Tobio who took his leg?

Alvar is one of Tobio’s patients! But no, Tobio did not operate Alvar’s leg -- though that is maybe a good idea...

declarations-of-drama replied to your photoset “There lay a peculiar emptiness to the closet, though. Tobio’s clothes...”

Oh! That explains a lot!

I often hesitate about making longer posts, but sometimes it’s just what it’s needed to get the whole perspective, right?

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Alvar walked slowly towards the armchair next to the rack of clothes,...”

Disliking women totally, as in sexually? I often wonder about things like this, such as the levels of bi-sexuality in us and how people must have coped when they were married etc in those days

I will develop this theme in the story, both from Alvar’s and Tobio’s perspectives!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “From the beginning of his life – love life, sentimental life, intimate...”

I watched Troy the other night and then spent around 4 hours reading up on Greek Antiquity. It was fascinating! I'm guessing this is what Alvar with his cousin is resonating of a pedarasty relationship? Like was a required part of Greek Noble youth? It was all so fascinating to learn!

Greece was not an united nation back then, so this was mostly and Athenian thing. Pederasty, as I mentioned in this post , was not just acceptable but often a desirable thing as a rite of passage. It usually involved a wider age gap than this existing in the story, with Alvar submitting to Freddie or Tobio, that are not actually old enough to be the erastes. But I’m no expert in such matters and am writing a story, not a treaty. So you are right to mention Troy, a good movie despite all the Hollywoodian peccadilloes and hypocrisy, and the love between Achilles and Patroclus, which was not the same as in pederasty, since they were practically the same age, and not Athenians.

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “The outbreak of war had interrupted the normal and predictable career...”

A story within a story. This should be interesting! I wonder where Freddy is now? Time for Dinner! These chapters made me HUNGRY!!! lol

This is usually how I write. Stories within stories, and plenty of flashbacks, and flashbacks withing flashbacks... Like in a mosaic, or a kaleidoscope.

Freddie is dead, like it’s been said before.

And I hope you had a good dinner!

tyrellsimsoficeandfire replied to your photo “Not proud.  Not the least, not Alvar.  Not for any past weaknesses,...”

I had the same though when seeing. @andantezen always does amazing artworks.

Thank you dear, it’s always a much needed encouragement to know that!

lifeasasim replied to your photoset “There lay a peculiar emptiness to the closet, though. Tobio’s clothes...”

Look at that room ;_;

Haha, the detail is intended to say things about the characters, that’s why I have troubled myself and gone this far...

lifeasasim replied to your photo “Probably feeling guilty in his irresponsible repose, in dreams – where...”

Gosh, this is so beautiful!

Thank you dear!

[anime-matchmaker-blog]

match up with a haikyuu, knb and ao no exorcist male pls? I'm a 160cm cancerian ambivert-NFP girl with long black wavy hair, curvy body, who loves cuddles n getting spoiled but i have my mood swings. Im a very romantic, cheesy n friendly person, loud, cheerful, can be extremely weird once u get to know me. I wear my emotions at my sleeve and is VERY easy to please. Despite being a fun-loving, carefree girl at times, im mature enough to lend my older sisters a shoulder when they need it. (cont-)

(-cont) I love dancing, reading/writing poetry, swimming, extreme sports, beaches, animals n going in road trips. Im adventurous but have my lazy days where i spend the whole day doing nothing in bed. Im a strong girl, i survived chemotherapy bfore. I dont judge, read people like an open book and try my best to be kind to everyone, im a very emotional n sensitive person. I have adult ADHD which comes with depression n anxiety. I have days where i breakdown n need constant reassurements. (cont-)

(-cont) im polite and respectful to people esp elderly people. I love talking, i can talk about a lot of things, ranging from stupid topics to questioning the world’s existence, to cheesy/sappy shit to deep life conversations. I get along with ppl of all ages. I LOVE my friends (note most of them are childhood friends and are guys, bcus guys have less drama), they spoil me which will prob make my bf jealous. THANKS GUYS!

Sorry for the wait! Thanks for your patience and I hope you’ll like your matchups C:

Your matchups are…:

Haikyuu!! - Sugawara Koushi

Suga’s first impression of you is that you’re no stranger to guys. He sees you around school often, always with an entourage of guys who you appear to be friendly and close to. At first, he’s just someone in the background and you don’t notice him - he’s just another pretty boy, after all. You don’t see him completely until you run into him on the street and he reaches a hand out to you as he introduces himself. You remember who he is and you let him walk you home. The silence is awkward, but you keep a steady stream of questions flowing and by the time you reach your home, both of you are laughing and friendly to one another. Suga says he’ll see you around before heading off.

Somehow, Suga gets sucked into your existing pool of friends, but he manages to stand out because of his attractiveness and charm. He enjoys your weirdness and your playfulness, but he can also sense your serious side, especially when it comes to touchy subjects with your friends or in school. He walks home with you when he doesn’t have practice and you make every walk last longer by taking detours or alternate routes. Suga contributes to this by making his own journeys through the neighborhood and the two of you begin to discover elements about the community you never knew existed. These walks are never quiet now - you’re always talking, always engaging in Suga in a variety of topics. His range of knowledge helps when it comes to the random subject changes.

There are days when you and Suga are at one another’s houses simply working on homework or reading, days when you two are out and about running rampant in the city, and days when you’re planning road trips to get out of the city. Whenever you seem to have a bad day, Suga drops everything and marches over to you to make sure you have company and necessary essentials. Sometimes he won’t be able to make it because of volleyball so your other friends take charge, but their care isn’t the same as his. Suga is the team mom, after all.

Your closeness with Suga appears to be the same as with your other guy friends so when the shift occurs, neither of you notice. Suga is first to confess his feelings though and he insists that no matter how you feel about him, he’ll always love you.

OtsuboTaisuke (Kuroko no Basuke): His height and appearance might makehim appear rather intimidating at first, but he’s actually pretty friendly andisn’t that hard to approach. Your talkativeness actually makes it rather easyfor the two of you to get friendlier with each other since there’s always some mundanetopic you can use as conversation fodder. While at first, Otsubo will merely greetyou upon seeing you around the school since that’s the polite thing to do, butafter having a few conversations with you, those casual greetings will turninto longer talks between the two of you. He won’t mind listening to whateverit is you have to say, finding the majority of the topics you decide to bringup to be interesting though sometimes he can’t help but wonder how those sort of topics end up beingchosen. Your politeness and respect towards others definitely is a part of youthat Otsubo finds admirable since that can’t be said about some people. Plus,with how easy it is to get along with you, you’re certainly someone Otsubowants to hang out with more.

While it’s not like the two of you have a lot in common, it’ssimply entertaining being around you and that’s more than enough for Otsubo towant to be friends with you. Though basketball is the main sport he’s into,learning about your interest in extreme sports does intrigue him and prompt himto ask you more about it and that might lead to you inviting him to try it withyou one of these days. He also wouldn’t mind going swimming with you if you’reinterested since that’s a good way to get in some exercise too. If you’reinterested and asks him, Otsubo would totally be up to teaching you or playingbasketball with you too! Since Otsubo is the captain of the basketball team, hehas responsibilities he has to tend to and practices to attend of course, sothere are often days where he can’t spend much time with you. He’d love to hearabout your adventures that you go on with your other friends though, or he’d chastiseyou a bit for lazing around in bed being unproductive but he won’t mean that ina negative way much. It’s also really refreshing how even with your fun-lovingand carefree side, you can be pretty mature when time calls for it. Sometimesbeing the captain will lead to Otsubo feeling rather stressed and it’d be niceif he could talk to you as a way to let off some steam. On the flip side,Otsubo will also be willing to lend you his ear and shoulder when you need it.

It surprises Otsubo how you wear your emotions on yoursleeve and it sort of contrasts with him. Not that he has a hard time showinghis emotions or anything but he just keeps them in check more often. It doesmake seeing how you’re feeling that day easier though but with how sensitiveand emotional you are, it can also be a bad thing since you might end up beinghurt easily. When Otsubo notices that you’re upset or feeling down, he’ll tryhis best to cheer you up. If you need someone to listen to your problems andrants, he’ll lend you an ear. If you just want someone to be there with you, he’llquickly offer to stay with you. He isn’t super affectionate or used to beingaffectionate but if it’ll help make you feel better, he could learn to enjoygiving you cuddles. Otsubo is good at lifting his teammates’ spirits on thecourt and he hopes that works off the court too since it’ll certainly come inhandy in helping you. He might be at a loss regarding what to do when yourbreakdowns occur and will turn to his friends, your friends (if he knows themor have spoken to them before) and probably the internet to help him figure outhow to help you. He wouldn’t mind providing you with the reassurance you needto feel better, as long as it helps you. Your anxiety and depression also hashim stumped since he hasn’t friended people like you before, but Otsubo isdefinitely willing to learn.

Your cheery personality rubs off on Otsubo the more he’saround you and he finds your romantic cheesy side to be quite adorable. Hedoesn’t know much about romance at all and will probably resort to the Internet(after asking Takao once and getting teased in response) to see what sort of “romantic”acts he can do for you to make you smile. Giving you chocolates and flowers arethe first thing he tries, and then if you seem okay with him being close toyou, he’ll attempt holding your hand and giving you hugs. He does feel jealous at times at how closeyou and your childhood friends are but will understand that that’s just howyour relationship with them is and won’t interfere. As long as you’re happy andyou make time to spend with him, that’s all he needs.

Ao no Exorcist - Suguro Ryuji (Bon)

At the beginning, all of your guy friends will protect you from Bon because of hos frightening he appears. You insist that it’s just his face and not much can be done to fix that…but after a while, you realize you really shouldn’t approach him. He’s loud, rash, competitive…yup, you should definitely keep your distance. Despite this, you still run into him in the halls sometimes and he doesn’t pay you attention, so you try to not look at him either. Still, when he accidentally runs into you and makes you drop your supplies, he takes the time to help you pick them up and make sure you’re okay before continuing on his way. Maybe he isn’t so bad after all.

His academic prowess is outstanding and you’re surprised to hear that he’s at the top of his class. Since none of your friends can rival him, you decide to approach Bon and ask him to tutor you in your weaker subjects. He tries to shrug you off by recommending you to another student, but his own friends persuade him to take you on. You can tell he’s serious about the schoolwork so you keep your playfulness down during the tutoring sessions. Afterwards, you do what you can to loosen Bon up by taking him to your favorite stores or on walks to your favorite hiding spots. He’s still uptight and serious during class, but once school is over and no one else is around, he relaxes around you and even though he doesn’t quite admit it, he loves the playful side of you.

In your downtime, the two of you can be found reading a lot. You can’t get Bon to read anything other than bibles and holy scripts, so you read poetry to him in exchange for listening to him recite fatal verses. Bon is capable of keeping up with your shenanigans, which makes up for his lack of talkativeness - he’s a big-mouth, but when it comes to nonsensical things or philosophical subjects, he tends to be quiet. He’s also great at perceiving emotions so he’ll be able to tell if you’re having a bad day or not. He’s still working on comforting you though, so your other friends will have to school him in that department.

Relationships and friendships are pretty much the same to Bon, so his friends have to help spell out his feelings for you. He doesn’t exactly confess and when he does, he stutters and mumbles the words. It doesn’t matter too much to him if you don’t return his feelings…so long he’s able to remain as your friend, he’s happy to be whatever you want him to be.

[ramajmedia]

Carnival Row Interview: Tamzin Merchant, Andrew Gower & David Gyasi

Amazon's latest fantasy series Carnival Row is ready to view on Prime, with 8 episodes of sex, politics and supernatural intrigue. The strained relations between humans and faerie folk in The Burgue are best exemplified by the Spurnrose family. The wealthy head of the household Ezra (Andrew Gower) exploits fae for his own gain, while his beautiful sister Imogen (Tamzin Merchant) looks down on them from above. Needless to say, it’s quite a shock when a puck named Agreus (David Gyasi) – the lowest member of the fae totem pole – moves in next door.

Screen Rant sat down with the actors to discuss the most gripping elements of Carnival Row, allowing all three to share their personal thoughts on the trajectory of their characters and the importance of the show’s themes.

The first thing I want to start with is: what got you on board for the project? 

Tamzin Merchant: Well, as soon as I read the script, it just felt magical. It's an intriguing world that’s got so many parts that we recognize, and I do a lot of period dramas so there was a lot that I was kind of familiar with. But what Travis invented in his dorm room in college how many years ago now –

Andrew Gower: I want to go into that dorm room. I want to see what’s behind that door; what’s on those walls.

Tamzin Merchant: It just is so brilliant. It's such a fresh, I think, take on a fantasy and on. It's such a fresh way of looking at humans and looking at characters.

And also, to play Imogen, for me, playing a character who is starts off as an obnoxious bitch. I mean, she's awful. And I'm so used to how so many female characters, especially in period dramas, can be quite one-sided, quite reductive, quite two-dimensional. And often it's more archetypal. So, you'll play a damsel; you’ll play like a tragic, doomed [girl]. But Imogen, she's argumentative, and she's clever. And she's keeping a bonfire of emotions just about in check. And that, to me, was just absolutely gold. I was like, “I’ve gotta be in this show.”

Andrew Gower: Yeah. I don't know about you guys, but within the industry – especially in the UK; it's incredibly small – people talk about scripts. And, obviously, I didn't know that this had been talked about for 10 years.

There was a bidding war for it. 

Andrew Gower: Yeah, there was a bidding war. And that kind of discovery, when I was finally attached to it, was like, “Wow, this has been an ever-present thing for the last decade.” I remember being on a plane, and somebody was like, “Have you read that Carnival Row script yet?” And I was like, “No.” And then literally it came when I was on a plane, and I read it. It was a similar reaction of, “I have to be involved in this.”

And then to meet Travis and realize the extent to which that guy has not only created these characters that read so well but thought about this huge, unfathomable new world that he's created. I mean, sometimes people adapt books, and I've been in booking adaptations. But he's come up with this in his own head. He's created a monarchy; he's created wars that have happened before. And to land in it unapologetically, to walk [towards] creatures and see them for the first time, and maybe not even have them explained until later? That is – I mean, come on. It’s gold dust.

That's what drew me in immediately. It just starts off so quick. You’re right there, and you feel so immersed in it.

Tamzin Merchant: Yeah, in the middle. There’s history, and there's what's coming next. It doesn't feel like we're starting at square one; it's like we're starting somewhere in the middle. And there's all this shit that’s – sorry, I shouldn't say shit – that's happened. You just have to kind of catch up as it goes.

How about you, David?

David Gyasi: For me, I've been out of work for a long time. So, I thought, “Give me anything!” No, that's not actually true.

Do you know what? I read this maybe five years ago, and it really stopped me. It moved me so much that I actually phoned my agent and said, “We have to prioritize this.” And it sort of came, and it went away; it came, and it went away. Literally every job that I was doing up until we got the green light, I was saying, “Can we phone the Carnival Row people and check what is happening?”

Tamzin Merchant: Yes, I did that too!

David Gyasi: Why would I do that? Well, very early on in the script that I read where you get a baby fairy wash up on a beach, and that image just blew me away. Because, around the time that I read it, we had a Syrian refugee wash up on a French beach. And the two things really kind of stifled me. I just felt like this has its this has its finger on the pulse, and how has Hollywood been able to react so quickly? Because it wasn't like then a baby fairy washes up on a beach, and everything else about the storyline is rubbish. It was so well-rounded.

Andrew Gower: Or just about that, as well. It’s not just about that. Exactly. I mean, that's

David Gyasi: It’s just an iota. That's all it is.

And then I was like, “I'm really digging the script. This is happening, right?” And my agent was like, “This script’s been knocking around for 10 years.” That's great. And I thought, “Wow, why is that still relevant?” And then I thought, “Don’t be silly. It's relevant at any point.” Even 2000-odd years ago, you had a pregnant woman and her husband running from the mass genocide of, like, we're gonna kill kids. Knocking on doors and going, “Can we come in?” “No room.” At any point during our history, that kind of thing happened.

Andrew Gower: It was 1984-esque.

David Gyasi: 1984, absolutely. So, for me, it was that. And then you put on the dress. Like, “For this character, David, you're going to have horns, and this is what's going to happen.” And there's a dynamic here that's interesting to explore, so I was committed even before they offered me the job. I am ready for this.

Andrew Gower: You call up a girl, before she even agrees to dating you, you’re like, “I’m dating you... This is what we’re going to call our children.”

One thing that's great about all three of your characters, and when you guys share the screen together, is that every single scene advances the story in some form or fashion. It changes the perspective that you have on every single one of those characters. What is the status of each of your characters when the show starts?

Tamzin Merchant: Well, I think Imogen is bored and kind of infuriated by the fact that all she gets to do really all day is dress up prettily, stand by a window, and wait to see what gossip leaps past. She's frustrated, and I think she doesn't realize [it] and kind of gets woken up during the first season of the show. She's pissed off and just irritable, and she's bored. She's a caged bird. You first see her through the bars of the cage, I think, where she's looking at these little birds that are her pets. It's quite a creepy metaphor, but she's this caged bird.

I just love that about her, because she's not like this damsel standing around a window. She’s standing out a window, and she’s like, “F***! What's happening with my life?” She’s there, but she's not there as a damsel. She's there's as this pissed off individual, keeping this bonfire of frustration and anger and all of her feelings just about in check. And I think that is really cool, because the female characters on this show, across the board, are complex. They're dynamic, they're empowered, and they can be subversive. It's really brilliant. It's not one thing, like one person stands for one thing. So that was really cool.

But, specifically for Imogen, that's where she's at. She's waiting for something.

And Ezra?

Andrew Gower: I'm handed a gift, basically. In the sense that before you even meet me, or when you meet me, I'm holding this family secret. Meaning the fact that I'm the gentleman responsible for ferrying [fae refugees] into the city is gold dust. For me, gold dust to play.

Also, you're trapped in the cage, and I'm probably me keeping the cage together – trying to keep it together. It's a quite interesting playing a Victorian man whose father was wealthy and a watchmaker, and I had inherited this money and –

Tamzin Merchant: We’ve inherited the money.

Andrew Gower: That’s basically what I'm dealing with. The “we,” not me.

Great point to meet somebody who already, in episode 1, has a secret. And then for that to unravel in the first episode, and then for this to happen almost inevitably. Obviously, not in episode 1, but just for the audience to see that unraveling.

Ezra kind of has his eye off the ball. And the amazing thing about this script is he doesn't realize how forward-thinking his sister is. He doesn't realize it, because ignorance. Again, as we said, it's an important subject in a world like this to play a character with ignorance; to see that character on screen. And lucky enough, with season two, you can then see maybe what happens when the ignorance is chiseled, and Pandora's box is opened.

I really don't want to give too much away about how this one ends. David, Agreus is my favorite on the show. 

David Gyasi: Thank you very much. I don’t why I'm saying thank you, I didn't create him.

But you did! He has a ton of great lines. I love when he buys the painting, and he says, “I didn't buy it for me. I bought it just to see the look on this guy's face.” But there's so many powerful moments that this character has. Can you talk to me about what his status is on the board? It's not probably what you would expect going into it, but once you find out more, it opens everything up.

David Gyasi: I find that such an interesting question, and we've not been asked that at all. Thank you for that. And it's an interesting one, because his status is twofold. “What is his status in terms of how society views him?” is one thing, and “What is the status in terms of how he views himself?” [is another].

So, let's start with the first one. Society kind of goes, “There's humans at the top, then there's all these other fae folk.” You can prioritize which ones you want, maybe the faeries because they look pretty, a little bit higher than these ones, and these ones, and then these ones – and right at the bottom, you get the fawns. And that's where they stay. So, they do the dirtiest jobs. Services, they do the wash, they’re in the mire.

Then there's Agreus version of who he is. He kind of does away with that whole hierarchy and just goes, “You know what? I'm here to take over. I’m here to do this thing. So, I'm going to find the most expensive house. Which one – is it that one? I’m going to buy that one with cash.” And he does that.

For me, his mind – that's really the starting point. He has no limitations, although society tries to put them on him. HE doesn't have them; doesn't accept them. And I find it also very interesting, when you are someone that's going through life, and you want to serve yourself. He has this intention, which I think his secret is to kind of dispel all of these myths. He's buying artwork, and he's not even sure if he likes it, but his motivation is to see other people's reactions and to change other people's opinions. That's a kind of mad existence.

There is a scene, I believe in episode 1, where you see Agreus on his own. He's got this expensive house, and the furniture is all like glorious and a little bit lavish. Does he like it? And it's mirrored with Imogen, who's on her up and looking out and seeing stuff and not sure if that kind of fits. And then, I would even say, there's Ezra going, “This is the way things must be.” And it's not working, but this is the way things must be. “If we all get it right, it will all work.”

So, there's these really interesting energies, rather than just going, “What if? What if you follow your heart? What if I follow my heart? What happens?” And that is scary.

You also make a great point because, as Ezra has made his money exploiting the faes – in a similar way, so did sort of your character. There's a great moment where your character says, “To be part of the humans, you got to play by their rules.” Can you talk to me about how Agreus made his fortune?

David Gyasi: I could. And I've had more revealed to me in terms of talking about the headlines in season 2. There are two things about me talking about that. One is that me talking about it will never be as exciting as you watching it, but here's what I can say about it. Have you listened to Jay Z’s 4:44 album?

Yeah.

David Gyasi: What's interesting about that album and interesting about his earlier stuff is, his earlier stuff is hard-hitting. It's like, “Woah. That life.”

And now, we're talking to someone who's – is he a billionaire? He's made a billion. How do you go from the ghetto to that? And is it possible to do that earnestly? Then what does that say about what kind of world we've created, where in order to jump levels… Is there a path that you can do that?

It's an interesting question, and Andrew said earlier that this show gives us questions more than it gives us answers. 

Andrew Gower: It’s the best aspect of life. You’re not given a book on life; there's no book on life. Just like this show. You pick it up and, forever, you have so many questions.

I know. As soon as it ended, I couldn’t wait for season two.

More: What to Expect from Carnival Row Season 2

source https://screenrant.com/carnival-row-merchant-gower-gyasi-interview/