#WHEN YOU THINK THE FIGHT IS OVER AND THEN A MORE INTENSE BOSS THEME STARTS PLAYING OVER

[musubiki]

The beautiful face is how he presents himself. The fucked up magic rot is when his health meter hits halfway.

oh GOD!!!!! YOUR BRAIN OH GOD!!!!!!! PHASE 2!!!!!!!

[doodledrawsthings]

Opinions on the Sols from Nine Sols immediately. Please. Your au is delish.

Keep in mind these are my very off-the-top-of-my-head, surface level impressions of them after having recently beaten the game on story mode once, while streaming. I won’t be giving any deep analysis or anything lol so the tone will be pretty jokey and unserious.

MAJOR major Nine Sols spoilers under the cut. Please do not read if you haven’t finished the game.

Kuafu: second favorite character. I love him so much. He’s such a pal, everybody likes him. Hou Yi left him as the final sun standing after shooting down the other nine cuz he’s just a stand up guy. The fact that he’s the one who pled keep Abacus around and set his settings to High Sympathy and kept coming in to talk to him out of guilt over what happened to Yi kills me. Smart, silly, handsome, the last remaining Solarian in existence and he can never go home for the remainder of his life. He’s my ride or die bestie, he’s one of my several husbands who babysit my little brother while I go off on a revenge murder spree and I’m kissing him on the mouth.

Goumang: I like her design and concepts and think she’s a fun character. She was the first boss I fought and i thought she was pretty fun, though I didn’t find the fight as memorable as others. I wish she had more presence throughout the game, I heard from a friend she had some more stuff that was cut apparently? Curious about her rivalry with Yi and relationship with Eigong. And since Yi technically never killled her I’ve considered including her in the Dont Worry About It AU.

Yanlao: Grampa!! I think he and Yi’s back and forth throughout the warehouse area was pretty funny. I was so ready to kick his ass the entire time, especially after the segment where he’s shooting at you as you navigate a maze. Loved his bossfight, first fight of the first three i started with where I really felt the parry/dodge/attack rhythm for the first time. Rip gramps.

Jiequan: BASTARD!! (Half-affectionate but only half) he’s giving Fruity Disney Villain Who Flirts With You As He Stabs You In The Chest. He sucks <3 but he’s such a FUN character, what a great antagonist. His fake out fight is so intense, the prison scene is so intense, his boss fight kicked my ass and his theme goes hard. He’s a war criminal, he’s a freak, he looks like All Might MHA and he regularly irradiates himself as part of his body building routine. “Heroes are forged in agony!” 10/10 Disney villain, very stylish. Defeating him was so satisfying especially after the Kanghui fight in the prison and learning what happened with THAT horror show.

Lady Ethereal: I LOVE HER!! SO MUCH!!! UGH!!! she makes me so sad! But everything about her is SO cool! Her fate! Her backstory!! Her design! Her boss fight! Her entire platforming area!!! Just!!! Aah! I won’t say too much but it’s just so good she had my favorite fight in the game, the dance for that one is so much fun. I was streaming the game on discord for my partner and another friend and when we first went into the cortex, she was like “oh you should keep going left and see what’s over there ;)” and then I did and just!!! So cool that Red Candle started off making horror games, it’s really great. Love it. Awesome character, awesome boss, awesome theme.

Fuxi and Nuwa: Rich asshole twins!! These two suck lol but I do think they’re fun characters. The entire empyrean district is experiencing a resident evil style zombie infection and Nuwa is throwing a rager at the club for the rich cryosleepers only. It’s really eerie over there though, I love the vibe of the east side and the discovery of the mutants and destruction of the west half is spooky as hell. And then I got to the area where you get Fuxi’s sol seal and didn’t even notice he was sitting there until my partner pointed him out. I thought he was furniture lol. She’s really puppeting around her brother’s pustule-riddled zombie corpse Weekend at Bernie’s style cuz she’s that much in denial. Also absolutely horrifying that the district supposedly once held 100,000 sleeping solarians that is whittled down to 300 after the mutated virus wreaks havoc through the area. Personally, I’m mixed on their bossfight, the first half with just Fuxi was fun once I got the rhythm but the 2nd half when Nuwa comes in with her attacks gets a bit too chaotic for me. Their boss theme, however, is probably my favorite in the game. I love the opera samples, it’s so cool.

Ji: I think about them a lot. Like, wow what a guy. I think a lot about his immortality, and that if he had not left Penglai with the council he would have been stuck there, alone for eternity. I think about the fact that because they will never get Tianhuo, there would be no need for them to be in cryosleep, which probably means that in the 502 years that Yi was recovering, he was probably up and about the entire time, probably wandering around new Kunlun mostly alone. I wonder if they ever hung out with the dusk guardians, or if they just stayed in the grotto for the most part. Their boss fight felt the most like a dance to me, or like friends sparring. Do you think they thought of Lear as you attacked them with the moves he taught you in the spiritual realm? He makes me sad, but he is very stylish!

Eigong: FUCK HER! SHES SO COOL, BUT FUCK HER!!! EVIL GRANDMA! this games story is like peeling back an onion of horrors where each layer you peel back brings new, mortifying understanding of the situation at large until it ALL. COMES BACK. TO HER! AND HER FRUITLESS PURSUIT OF IMMORTALITY! Her boss fight KICKED MY ASS. I was streaming my first playthrough, so I was already prone to doing worse than I probably would without an audience (emphasis on probably) but in my first attempt I was fighting her for like 6 HOURS STRAIGHT. And for the true ending too, which meant three boss phases. I just could not get her pattern down and my hands were cramping but i really wanted to finish the game that weekend so I could finally talk about it so I ended up turning up the accessibility options to one punch man her. I did eventually go back and do her fight by myself with the story mode settings and MAN what a fun boss battle once you get the dance down (I’m still so bad at unbound counter), and it is SO satisfying to beat. Incredible character, we love fictional old women who commit atrocities in the name of science.

Yi: and finally we have the man, the myth, the legend. I could probably write a whole separate post about him and Heng and his relationships with the other characters but to keep it short- I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! BUT IM ALSO BITING HIM AND PUTTING HIM IN A BLENDER AND RUNNING HIM THROUGH THE DISHWASHER AND HANGING HIM UP TO DRY. Just UGH! It’s not common for the main character of a thing to be my favorite character but Yi is my favorite character. It’s the fact that he is his own character, and we, the player, must gradually find out things that HE already knows. And his budding and flowering relationships with the other characters, especially those who set up shop in the pavillion which leads into his character development is just AUGH. AND THE ENDINGS. YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT GHE ENDINGS. THEYRE GOOD BUT AUGH. I love him, I’m rotating him in my mind on a skewer, he’s my little manlet, my poor little “I’m not a good person” shadow the hedgehog energy meow meow cat boy. I love him so much, I’m so distraught over his terrible life choices. Incredible character.

Ok hope that was entertaining to read, bye.

[eriexplosion]

Okay so. I cannot take it seriously when people say that we weren't led to think CX-2 was Tech. Because no we were not just having foreshadowing of the creation of an Evil Bad Batch. The clues led directly to Tech.

We have to start with the fact that they didn't kill him off definitively. Start with his survival being debated (and there's no way they didn't know it would be debated because I choose to believe they are not stupid) then introduce a character that lasts suspiciously long and has weirdly intense beef with Crosshair and you already are inclining people towards believing this is Tech.

CX-2 goes through a speedrun of Tech scenarios with 1. the leg crushed by a heavy falling object, similar to Ruins of War 2. knocked over by an explosion leaving him dangling above the abyss from a line like Plan 99 3. going over a waterfall and crawling out in a shot that completely matches the scene from The Crossing.

One or two of these is a coincidence, all three together less so.

Plan 99 notes mixed into The Battle of the Snipers. Which the Kiners only explained as the notes 'sounding good in brass' and nothing else.

He gets distinctly Tech like dialogue and no I don't just mean 'domicile' though we do have to acknowledge that no one else in Star Wars uses this word on the regular. We also have the exact match of 'Who are you' to Decomissioned, and the matching of 'I have simply cut off her means of escape' to Tech regularly saying 'I am simply-' when explaining himself, which again is something no one else in the show shares. Tech has a distinct way of speaking that matches CX-2, especially as of Point of No Return. (And CX-2 doesn't really sound like Crosshair, because Crosshair is just straight up not as chatty as CX-2 and never has been.)

He gets a long, unnecessary scene with Phee where he suddenly forgets how to be a murder assassin and starts playing soft.

He doesn't shoot Hunter when he has a chance and chooses to instead shoot his own man, he doesn't blow up the Marauder while Wrecker is inside, and when Omega surrenders he opts to just wait for her to hand him her communicator. He doesn't even shoot Shep when Shep starts talking back to him, all of which indicated that maybe for whatever reason he didn't want to, bolstering the Tech theories.

Getting into an opinion rather than analysis here but: Evil Bad Batch is a stupid fucking idea, it serves no purpose whatsoever other than a cool boss fight that adds nothing to the story. Having a CX be someone, anyone they actually cared about would have been interesting and actually played into the themes of family and forgiveness that were set up earlier in the season. Instead it's just more people to kill off to zero interesting payoff. It's stupid.

Every person I spoke to offline thought that this was Tech. All of them. People that have never looked on social media, watched a theory video, anything. All thought CX-2 was Tech and were confused when he was speared. This was not terminally online theorizing gone wild, this was a very widespread thought and assumption.

So, if they didn't mean to do any of that and at no point intended to imply this was Tech and were solely trying to foreshadow their 5 minutes of Evil Batch fight? They did it poorly. When the majority of your audience actively believes you are leading to one direction only for it to be some other direction that you meant to lead them to, the problem is not The Audience Didn't Read It Right, the problem is you wrote it badly.

[moonsidesong]

finished UT Yellow pacifist ! i really really enjoyed it! i will definitely be going back for the other runs but i'd like to let this sit for at least a few days before i go back in.

extended thoughts below!! yaayay!!!!

ok im sorry to open with a negative thought but if i can be a little mean. ceroba's fight suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks. visually its insanely cool, musically its insanely cool, the presentation overall rocks, but gameplay wise its the worst ive played so far bar none.

i think this game for the most part had pretty fun and interesting bullet patterns for the bosses and, especially in the case of Axis, El Bailador, and Guardener's fights, i really got the sense i was getting a little better each time as i memorized the attacks, which is exactly what i want from a UTDR boss fight! i heart memorization.

... but Ceroba's fight was the only one where i felt like the bullet patterns just had no rhyme or reason to them. i think using several simple attacks to make a layered complicated one is a good idea in theory but in the way they did it i kinda just felt like she was throwing random crap at me and when I did beat it (which took i think around an hour) i sorta just got the impression that i was lucky enough her RNG picked the easier ones a few extra turns in a row rather than feeling like i actually accomplished anything (anything with the gravity black hole added was just kind of a death sentence for me, maybe its a skill issue but i feel like yknow. im okaaayyy at bullet hell... wah...)

also, i dont know much about game design, but the overall momentum of the fight is set up to really only be good if you beat it the first time. which is not great. they make you watch a cutscene every time you die and although it is brief, it breaks things up just a little too long! you get really sick of hearing the first few notes of what are otherwise great songs in her fight, and it makes it harder to feel for her when watching her scream starts to become annoying. i think if it were up to me, it'd be best if when you died, there was no cutscene, and the game over screen didnt have music or text and was JUST the Retry/Continue prompts so you can jump back into the action quickly. if we wanna take it a step further, because the music opens with such intense notes, stop making it start over!!!! pick it up where it left off!!!! maybe even have the game over menu not even stop the music, just muffle it temporarily or something. i dont know. thats what id do if it were up to me but i did not make anything im just a guy writing a tumblr post

anyway hater hour over. i mentioned those three boss fights earlier because they were my favorites. i thought they were really fun. i can see how some people might think the shield mechanic during Axis's fight might suck but it was like easily my favorite actually HAHAHA idk i thought it was fuuuuun heehehe yaay i block the bullets and it makes a good sound sound makea me happy <- this is the hightest compliment you can get from a misophonic player

also the ending made me cry. this isnt saying much because literally everything makes me cry but it did in fact make me cry. u show me characters showing a moment of genuine vulnerability in a bittersweet atmosphere and uh oh

anyway.

i mentioned in my previous thought post that i was interested in seeing where the running theme of "jobs/employment" was going, and seeing it play out into meaning "forever unfinished business" was really good. Martlet quits the Royal Guard having felt like she never really did anything there, neither Chujin nor Ceroba could finish what they set out to do, and Clover never even saw the other human souls. theres probably more than that too thats just what i remeber my memorys actually kinda bad i never remember anything until i play it like three times oops. maybe i should start writing my thoughts as i go instead of making big unorganized writeups on tumblr after the fact.

also this is a really small personal nitpick that doesnt matter but i dont like ceroba's skirt. i think having such a regal traditional outfit otherwise and then just wearing a short skirt that goes above her knees makes her look more like a schoolgirl than it does someone who is like At The Minimum in her thirties. i get not wanting a long skirt to get in the way of her silhouette for her boss fight since shes all like stanced up but at that point just give her pants LOL

i don't care to comment much on the writing, on the whole i really liked it so i dont have as much to say, but i dont think martlet shouldve been there in the room with you for Chujin's tapes. i think that shouldve been a quiet moment with just Clover so it could Sit with you for a second. thats my only writing gripe in this very moment.

anyway GRAHHHH I ENDED UP WRITING A LOT OF THINGS I DIDNT LIKE AND I DONT WANT TO LEAVE WITH THE IMPRESSION I HAD A NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE SO:

MUSIC WAS REALLY GOOD!!! I LIKED ALL THE CHARACTERS!!!! I LIKED MAKING AXIS'S FUNNY ROBOT PARTNER I THOUGHT THAT WAS FUNNY!!!!!!!! ASIDE FROM THE FINAL BOSS I THOUGHT THE GAMEPLAY WAS FUN!!!!! THE MAIL MECHANIC WAS REALLY SILLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I PLAYED WITH MY FRIEND AND I HAD A VERY GOOD TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAY!!! I VIDEO LOVE GAMES!!!!!!!!!!

thanks for reading! im sure ill have more thoughts to share by the time i do the other routes, but like i said at the start, id like to just sit on my thoughts and let the game simmer for now. my overall opinion is that i thought it was good! not perfect by any means, but very very good. i'm sure i will revisit it someday. and by that i mean right now im gonna draw and watch a bit of saltydkdan's video of it before bed.

if you read this far tell me your favorite hot drink :) lately ive been really obsessed with like, this basic ass cinnamon/nutmeg/coriander chai from target. i put a little honey and cream in it and its like my favorite thing ever i have some every morning. i used to think i only liked fruity teas but my eyes have been truly opened.

[cowboymantis]

I am having so so so many feelings about Infinite Wealth and I've just been spamming my friend with essays about my overanalyzing brain that obsesses over every single detail in media I am obsessed with,, BUT THIS GAME IS JUST SO FULL OF OPPORTUNITIES FOR IT AAAAA!!!

I just wanna note some longer thoughts down, because I need somewhere to collect some of them,,,,

So yeah, uh, obviously:

LIKE A DRAGON INFINITE WEALTH SPOILERS

(any Yakuza game really, but this is the most recent one, so more likely that people haven't played that yet)

Number 1:

So first of all, Kiryu's parts are, because of the bucket list stuff, very focused on the past. He's trying to tie up loose ends, in his own way and how much he is actually able to do with the Daidoji restrictions.

So I think it was really fitting that he was the one fighting Ebina. In a way it felt like him fighting his past and trying to turn it around.

Now what do I mean by that? Let's start from an earlier point.

Basically, the game is a bit like a mirror to Kiwami in some ways.

Lani is like Haruka, hunted down by several groups of people and they even talk about this similarity being Kiryu's leading factor of motivation in helping her. I mean, there's also different mafias and a whole government conspiracy. But I mean, nothing new in a Yakuza game, but just one more thing added on top of it all.

Where it really starts to show and made me think "Ohhh...wait a second" is when Ebina held his speech about his past. Ebina and Ichiban, even though they didn't grow up together like them, are so similar to Kiryu and Nishiki. One being the Yakuza boss Arakawa's "favourite child", who also idolizes him, and the other one grows to hate him.

And I think this is also the moment where Kiryu realizes "Oh no...history is repeating itself again, isn't it..."

So at the end of the fight, when he actually breaks out in tears and begs for no one to die, it feels like all those deaths he couldn't prevent over all those years, good or bad people, just make him completely break down and he just wants this endless cycle to finally end.

Before the game came out, RGG and actors, in some occasions pointed out how this was a happier game. It makes you feel like looking up instead of being sad.

And while I was playing, I often just felt "Bruh, they lied to us. This game is so sad???", but after I then finished the game, I just sat there and felt such a big relief, the ending just was honestly perfect (well, I mean the cliff hanger was awful jddhd). But then later, it also made me think yeah, this is kind of like a positive version of Kiwami, isn't it? It just feels like it's in a way Kiryu's tying up loose ends with Kiwami's happenings. Fighting his past, finally getting over it in a way.

I thought more about this when I listened to Ebinas boss theme again, because one part has those bells(?) And they sound so much like in For Whose Sake. And then I thought back to the ending more and realized that the whole buildup of it was so much like Kiwami too!

In the finale, first you fight [Villain], who is also the main culprit behind a big government conspiracy. He has helpers with him, and attacks with a gun/guns.

At first you only fight the helpers, then him together with those helpers.

The music is intense and dreadful, everything feels really epic.

Then, after that fight, it goes to the REAL final boss fight. Inside a room, high up on the Millennium Tower, you fight him. Both Nishiki and Ebina are so similar already in their own ways. And the fight is more personal, with emotion behind it. Just that it ends with Nishiki killing himself, but Ebina, while he basically begs for Kiryu to kill him, survives.

The music during the fight has it's ups and downs (intensity-wise) and manages to feel both melancholic and relaxing, as much as they hype you up.

So yeah, it's all such a direct mirror up to the point how it ends. And Kiryu was trying his hardest to prevent things from happening again.

There are often similar themes and plots throughout Yakuza, makes sense, such a long running series, but I think in this particular case it's just so very fitting and it's just SO similar and fits the reflection and fix-it theme of Kiryu's part of the story so well. Especially with how Kiryu's tragic story all started with Yakuza 1 (going by release), still haunting him through every game with constant flashbacks, and now it ends with a story so similar.

Or well, let's hope so, I just want Kiryu to finally rest bruh 😭😭

Number 2:

"Rupture". The name of Hanawa's theme in Gaiden.

Just blatantly taking dictionary definitions here, but there are two ways the word "Rupture" works:

1) (especially of a pipe or container, or bodily part such as an organ or membrane) break or burst suddenly.

"If the main artery ruptures, he could die"

2) breach or disturb (a harmonious feeling or situation).

"Once trust and confidence have been ruptured, it can be difficult to regain"

Keeping that in mind, moving on.

Maybe listen to Hanawa's battle theme for this one, to really visualize it.

Now, whenever I put on the good ol' Gaiden All Boss Battle Themes video, whenever Hanawa's theme came on, I thought wow, this song is really completely different, huh.

But the nature of the song felt quite fitting for a character like Hanawa.

It starts of dark, mysterious, there's a sadness to it. Just like Kiryu now, he has been a man who once "died" and has since then been forced to live in the shadows, his every move being controlled by others. He's like a bird trapped inside a cage.

Then, the song picks up, becomes more intense.

Hanawa's internal struggle and his fight with Kiryu.

When you fight him, the whole scene around it honestly, is like the bird trying to escape this cage. And while nothing that happened was really "real", as in, no fatalaties would've happened because it was all a test, it did feel real for Hanawa and Kiryu. Now looking at the second definition for rupture, it's just like here, on a way more emotional level. And all so sudden. And this is the beginning of him being more and more risky when it comes to the Daidoji, and he keeps on helping Kiryu more than he should, its like his rebellion.

In Infinite Wealth, during the raid on the safe house, it was also all so sudden. It all happened so fast.

The music is picking up. It's nearing the end of the song, and everything becomes so loud and overwhelming - Hanawa suddenly gets shot and dies - then immediately after the wild and short final buildup, silence again. It's a slow, quiet somber tune, like at the beginning of the song, but now fading out... And Hanawa is declared dead.

The sudden rupture lead to immediate casualty, physical this time.

I'm sorry, I DON'T KNOW WHY I MAKE MYSELF SO MUCH SADDER OVER THIS SCENE. But come on, it's just... so perfect, right? 😭😭😭😭

I miss Hanawa so much man. I was really pissed that this is the way they let him go, but just now, after listening to his theme again for the first time since I even started Infinite Wealth, it felt like it just all made sense now. It just clicked. His theme is like a visualisation of his whole story throughout the games.

And it's honestly, sadly perfect. The composers for the Yakuza games are honestly such geniuses. Bringing out some of the best songs ever constantly and making them just feel so fitting for everything.

But yeah. Regardless of if this was meant to be interpreted similiary or not, it just kind of adds to it all for me personally. Especially since you could now maybe see his theme in Gaiden as a bit of secret foreshadowing?

I'd like to see it that way. And maybe, seeing a bit more importance in it all is what helps me to cope with his godawful death scene, RGG what were you thinking man 🥲🥲🥲

Number 3:

Eiji.

Oh boy. Uh, I don't really know yet what the general opinion on this pathetic wet cat (affectionate) is, but I really loved this character. In both a "you're such a damn loser" and "my poor little meow meow :(" way :'D

But most importantly, what I wanna focus on to follow the (over)analyzing theme: Eiji is like a mirror of Masato.

Now, Kiryu has his Kiwami mirror in his finale and Ichiban also has one. But I think this one is way more obvious and also very ironic.

Eiji starts off with trying to earn Ichibans trust and well- it immediately works, of course, it's Ichiban! But the tactic he uses for it, faking being disabled and needing a wheelchair. It was the perfect way to make Ichiban pay attention to him first, because it would remind him of Masato. I think Ichiban immediately just started to get attached to Eiji, and now I'm thinking that Eiji was probably a bit conflicted before he turned his back on him. But his deep rooted hatred was too strong for one nice interaction with a Yakuza, something he demonized, to stop him.

I think it was kind of funny how he was basically like "You're so evil, you Yakuza will NEVER be good people!!! See how good I am while I throw down this child tied to a wheelchair, down those stairs while holding a bomb!!! That'll sure show you evil Yakuza!!!"

Ah. He's so stupid 😭

And yet, whatever happened, Ichiban just constantly called him "Ei-chan", like he's still his bestie and everything is fine. Constantly protesting against it, Eiji probably felt more and more conflicted, because Ichiban is just such a big (and naive) sweetheart. (((Side note: What's not to love about him fr 😭😭)))

So by the finale, and after Eiji had time to say how much he HATED the Yakuza and also, y'know. The whole Bleach Japan thing. Kinda like someone else, hm? Someone else Ichiban constantly insisted on treating like a friend.

But Ichiban convinced him to just turn himself him, turn his life around. Just like he eventually managed to convinced Masato through blood and tears.

And the ending scene is literally an exact mirror to Yakuza 7. Ichiban carrying someone away...

Just in Yakuza 7, it is Masato, dying in his arms, and in Infinite Wealth, it is Eiji, and he's trying his hardest so he will get out of this completely unharmed, throwing himself in front of every danger facing them, getting beat up until he passes out by the end.

You could say this too, is like a good version of another game's ending, with a character mirroring a brother-like person to the main character.

Quite ironic how Eiji started off "imitating" Masato, only to end up like him. Just that one died and one lived.

And just like Kiryu did with Ebina, Ichiban tried his hardest to stop history from repeating itself. Stop more people dying again and again.

The logo having an Infinity symbol seems oddly fitting now, you could say each circle of the symbol is Kiryu and Ichiban, and their stories are intervined in certain ways. Just that their stopped the "infinite" circle from repeating once again.

Or...something like that. I'm trying to sound smart at 5 am, I need sleep I think 😭

[splatsvilles-fashionista]

Off-topic weekend: My top five games of 2023!

Hey folks! How's Splatfest going? I've had mixed success so far, winning two 10x battles but losing a 100x, which evens out, right?

But let's not focus on that, this is the off-topic post of the month, after all. In 2023 I played an unusual amount of brand-new games, and I like talking about the stuff I like, so let's real quick go over my favourite games of the year, in order!

Starting with:

5. Wildfrost

Wildfrost is a roguelike deckbuilder about disparate tribes banding together to fight off a supernatural, eternal snowstorm. Over the course of three areas and many battles you assemble a deck of allies and items, augment them with upgrades, and face off against a whole slew of unique and challenging boss battles. The thing I wanna highlight about this game is just how gorgeous the presentation is. All the character designs are delightful, and the way everything bobs and shakes as you pick cards to play or reposition feels just right. The soundtrack is also a complete slam dunk, using a ton of traditional instruments to help sell the vibes, whether they're cosy like in your hubtown or intense like the battle themes. If you like games like Slay the Spire or Monster Train then this is definitively a game for you.

4. Cocoon

Cocoon is a puzzle game about exploring alien landscapes with tools that are also full-on worlds in themselves. As a little... alien? Moth? Robot? As a little guy, you're tasked with solving a wide variety of puzzles by using differently colored orbs that, when placed on certain pedestals in the environment, opens up portals to entire new realms. Nestling realities within other realities and traveling between them soon becomes a core facet of your problem-solving, and the beauty of Cocoon is that its puzzles thread this extremely thin line where the solution is neither too hard or easy, but will always be very satisfying and frequently mindblowing in the way it makes you bend reality(or realities as the case may be) to your whims. Cocoon is lean, slim, and polished, and likely won't last you more than ten hours, but those ten hours will leave you feeling a smart and satisfied in a way you've never experienced before.

3. Remnant II

In 2019, Remnant: From the Ashes asked a bold question: "What if Dark Souls, but guns?" The answer turned out to be that you got a fun, interesting third-person shooter with defensive play inspired by Fromsoftware's lineage of action RPGs but with a greater emphasis on co-op play and replayability, and in 2023, that game got a sequel that looked to expand on all of its predecessor's most interesting ideas. One of the most impressive things about remnant II is just how much content it has that it doesn't show you, because it's designed around the core idea that every player's first playthrough feels different and so it only shows you a sliver of its hand in every playthrough, confident in its breadth of content to such an extend that the game let's you roll an entire new randomized campaign with a single press of a button. I'll admit that out of everything on this list, Remnant II is probably the most "by-the-numbers" game on this list, in part by virtue of being the only sequel on it, but I had a blast playing this game, and if you're looking for something to play with a friend or two, then I think you will too.

2. Cassette Beasts

Cassette Beasts is a creature-collector RPG in the style of Pokémon, and I actually already wrote a whole post about Cassette Beasts earlier this year, but I want to reiterate that this game is really good. In a lot of ways, it feels like Bytten Studios, the developers of Cassette Beasts, took the formula of the DS-era Pokémon games and utterly perfected it. It's got a big open world for you to explore, deep and snappy 2v2 combat, over 120 monsters, all of which can be fused mid-combat as the ace up your sleeve. Rather than type weaknesses just increasing damage, they inflict various buffs/debuffs that add a lot of complication to battles and force you really consider your team composition. There's adjustable difficulty, including a built-in nuzlocke mode. There a bunch of cool companion characters with their own entire storylines, and most of them you can romance if you'd like. If you like Pokémon or the whole creature-collector RPG genre as a whole, then you need to play Cassette Beasts, because at the moment I really do think it's the king of the genre.

1. Lies of P

Lies of P is an action RPG of the Soulslike variety, taking a stab at replicating the formula that made Fromsoftware and their critically renowned games such a household name. I like Fromsoftware and their games lot, Bloodborne, Dark Souls 3, Sekiro, and Elden Ring are all pretty high on my list of favourite games of all time for their excellent world design, wonderful atmosphere, and captivating combat. I mention all of this so that you understand that it's a big deal when I say Lies of P is so good that it sometimes beats Fromsoftware at their own game.

It's not a game without flaws. I found the english localization to be awkward and stilted, sometimes to the point of being distracting, and its level design is very simple, especially compared to its peers. What sets Lies of P apart however is that it has the best goddamn combat in the genre. Explaining why I think that would take a lot of time, and this post is running long as is, so to keep things short the gist of it is that Lies of P manages to make your offensive and defensive tools flow into each other seamlessly, with dodges, blocks and parries allowing you to keep up the pressure even as enemies are attacking. Couple that with a ton of different weapons, all with their own special moves, most of which you can take apart and combine with other weapons, and a mechanical left arm that can be equipped with a variety of tools like a flamethrower or a grappling hook, and it results in one of the most nuanced combat systems I've ever seen.

I adore Lies of P. I bought it at the end of December, beat it once, and I am currently doing three more playthroughs with different builds, weapons, and restrictions. I've never enjoyed mastering the systems of a game as much as I have playing Lies of P, and that is ultimately why it's my favourite game of 2023.

And that's the whole list! I hope something I featured here caught your attention, and I'm very curious to know what y'all's favourite games of 2023 were, so go ahead and tell me below, if you'd like. Happy continued FrostyFesting!

[sagethegremlin]

For the sonic questions, number 16-favorite sonic soundtrack(s)?

IVE BEEN WANTING TO TALK ABOUT THE 06 SOUNDTRACK FOR TOO LONG NOW AND THIS IS THE PERFECT EXCUSE

SKY I NEED YOU TO LOOK ME IN THE EYES (hypothetically of course) AND SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE I AM ABOUT TO TURN INTO A MONSTER OVER THIS

Ok so I feel like in order to understand a lot about how I feel about the 06 soundtrack you need to watch the entire first cutscene in full. You boot it up, and we start off with orchestra. This is an orchestral soundtrack. And that's all well and good. We've got some festival music, we've got some intense stuff for the Iblis vision. But none of that is where this soundtrack shines.

Eggman shows up, and we hear his theme. Sonic shows up, and His World reflects in the music.

This game shines in leitmotifs. It isn't just and adventure situation where when the theme of a character plays when they show up, no, when a character has a moment, we hear their leitmotif in the music.

Easily my favorite leitmotif moment probably in any video game ever is in Event: Showdown with Mephiles.

I want everyone to watch the first two and a half minutes of this (the rest is just credits). This is it. This is why I love the 06 soundtrack so much. I don't think I could even explain this properly, it's just that good. We begin with Mephiles' theme, but when Shadow begins "If the world choses to become my enemy..." the horns in the orchestra go fucking NUTS and BAM! We have the leitmotif for All Hail Shadow. It's amazing. It's perfect.

Another thing that's so amazing about the 06 soundtrack is its treatment of His World. Like I previously mentioned, it plays the leitmotif in the opening cutscene, but it plays it in so many other heroic moments for Sonic. And not only that, but we also keep hearing it in other places, like the results screen. It all builds up to the second phase of Solaris' boss fight, which just feels so cool from a musical standpoint.

And that's not to say Silver doesn't have his own moments. Whenever Silver has a big moment of him pondering the morality of killing Sonic to save his future, you can hear Dreams of an Absolution very faintly in the background.

And you just know that it had to be doing something right to make Eggman's 06 theme, Dreams of an Absolution, and Crush 40's version of All Hail Shadow the themes for their respective characters c:

And if you're more interested in sonic leitmotifs, i'd totally recommend checking out this video! :D It doesn't have everything or a few of my favorite examples (like it doesnt matter in the first sonic movie), but it is certainly an absolutely amazing watch and I love it to death c:

[arvale-artist]

Arvale's Battle Music • ♬♫♪♩·.¸¸.·

There's a lot of things to say about it other than that it absolutely shreds and hypes you up, just like battle music should. But there are some things one might not pick up on at first unless you are a detail freak like me, heh.

One thing I find really unique about Arvale's battle music is that it is not representative of The Enemy itself, but of The Character you play as, The Character you are rooting for!!!

What I normally encounter in games is that The Enemy's theme (like a boss theme) is supposed to describe The Enemy... But not in Arvale!

Also I need to make something clear☝️I gave the final boss themes (which are just called "final boss") unnecessarily descriptive titles. Those are not the official names. I just went silly with it.

Arvale: Journey of Illusion

One thing you have to keep in mind: The longer a battle = The more likely you are struggling.

And ohhh boy did 🤖Jaybot7 incorporate this in here so perfectly.

This is the battle theme from Journey of Illusion. You play as Duncan Forsythe, who looks and fights like a knight (but at heart will always be a gardener ♥).

And the music starts of with this classic heoric and happy feel, everything is peachy. But the longer it goes on, meaning, the longer you are struggling with the fight, the more cautious, worried intense and desperate the track becomes. Eventually it slows down... sounding almost defeated. You, as the player, are calculating currently how to make Duncan surivive this encounter. But after a while it starts to sound hopeful again. Maybe Duncan survives after all... and then it perfectly loops back around.

I think this is genius.

Now it's time to get serious. And so does the music. We do not start off happy, because this is no common enemy. This is a boss. You as the player are gonna pay a lot more attention and be a lot more careful here. Again, this is not music for The Boss, it is against the boss! It represents Duncan's/The Character's situation.

Here it's so clear that this is... Duncan's moment, not the final bosses'.

The start of this track feels like the music equivalent of taking a deep breath and collecting yourself before challenging the end head on.

This is serious. But also so hopeful! Determined, even. You can FEEL the music rooting for Duncan!!! This is so genius...

Arvale2: Ocean of Time

I have negative skill when it comes to music, therefore I cannot comprehend how 🤖Jaybot7 was able to describe a character through music alone... it is sorcery to me. here it is... THE GREAT JOHN DEMENCHEV'S THEME!!!

Now, you might be wondering, this is about battle music, why am I showing you his theme? First of all, because this absolutely rips. It's one of my absolute favourites in the entire Arvale Soundtrack. Second, because you can hear parts of his theme in the battle music!!! Just further showcases how this is music representative for The Playable Character, not The Enemy!

DeMenchev is VERY different from Duncan, and therefore his music also sounds very different.

The music follows the same formula like before. It starts of heoric, but it becomes more serious over time, as you/The Character are struggling more with the battle but eventually turning hopeful again. Especially after 1:20 it just sounds like musical commentary about being stuck in a tight spot.

You might notice that while it still follows this pattern, it already starts off more... serious/intense than Duncan's theme.

The battles in Ocean of Time are more challenging than the ones compared in Journey of Illusion. Duncan can tank a lot of damage, DeMenchev very much can't. I found myself very often prioritising DeMenchev's dexterity to make sure he'll be able to evade a lot of attacks and at the same time not miss any of his blows. On top of that I often planned a lot of common battles ahead, using potions to boost specific stats against specific strenghts/ weaknesses of whatever enemy I encountered. If one did a lot of physical damage but had a pretty low health pool, I would boost DeMenchev's defense instead of strength, for example. And you can feel this calculating feel in the music... It fits, DeMenchev is a brainiac and brittle guy. (Brittle compared to Duncan at least haha). He can't wear normal armour like Duncan because it's too heavy for him, hahah. So he has to plan ahead!

There's even this part after 01:50 where you get more of this calculating feel while you can so clearly hear the notes of his theme.

Also the drums that come 10 seconds after... all I can think of is him drumming that beat on a barrel lmao. That's something he does, BTW. If you interract with some barrels in OOT he plays a beat on them.

Again, it's time to get serious. You better plan ahead well and pay close attention. But you/DeMenchev got this!!! Again, you can hear DeMenchev's theme and how the music is on his side and represents his situation, not the bosses'!

HIS NAME IS BEING SUNG AND YOU CAN HEAR HIS THEME SO CLEARLY!!! The voice most likely is the one, or at least representative, of his girlfriend. The adventure in OOT started with her and it'll end with her. =') This is his moment, with the fate of the world in his hands. Battling The False God.

Arvale: Treasure of Memories

Now, the battles in TOM are different. They use a completely different battle system and the fights, even if they are easy, last longer normally. A long battle is no longer really an indicator for you struggling. So things are a lot calmer.

Hearing this track for the first time made me feel a little nostalgic, which is weird, right?? That's not how that is supposed to work!

This is Duncan's battle theme in TOM! What made this track feel so familiar and ... Duncan like, were the trumpets specifically. =] They are very prominent in his battle themes, and here they appear again.

There's an odd confidence in this theme. Just like there is in Duncan's character in this game when you play him. It never goes desperate. And while parts of it seem familiar, not all of it is. Especially the strings.

Duncan loses parts of his memories after getting exposed to a particularly corrupting material. It messes a lot with his head... And changes his personality a bit. You don't notice it if you haven't played JOI since you have nothing to compare it too, but I sure did. Already early on in the game before learning about the corrupting material I started to notice more and more that something's just... Off about him. He is still Duncan... But something's wrong. Something's different... Like those strings, haha! They're new.

Like just how confident he is and has little to no complaints whatsoever about doing Legendary Hero Stuff™️ again. He even seems up for it. Which he very much WASN'T in JOI!!! Something's wrong. He loathed doing that Hero stuff and just wanted to go back to his garden... And you can feel that Hero Feel throughout the track, the trumpets.

BTW here is a video by 🤖Jaybot7 of how he composed this track!!

The Video's title says it's AST music (Arvale: Short Tales), but it's not. Maybe it was supposed to be in the beginning, but this is the (making of) the battle music of Treasure of Memories! I will talk about AST music another time, it deserves it's own post!! It's got a really unique and special thing going on.

Ahhhh that organ in the boss music... Just like in JOI. Again, this is for The Character, Duncan, not the boss. Things are serious, cautious, but we are in no peril. Duncan got this.

But I swear... I don't know if I have bad hearing or something. Or if my almost negative talent and knowledge in music somehow makes me hear things that aren't there... But I think I can hear at least instruments that are usually prominent in DeMenchev's battle themes from OOT. There's something that isn't trumpets or what sounds like violins in the background. It sounds like someone plucking on strings though. And then there's the flute, especially at the end... Not only could this be the same instruments like in DeMenchev's battle music, it sounds like it's playing similar notes too...?? Or I have bad ears.

But it makes sense for parts of DeMenchev's music to have weaseled it's way in there. DeMenchev plays a big role in TOM, he's even a playable character! And the very villain of TOM is the one from OOT! Speaking of that villain...

We are getting rid of the world's most malevolent weed with the power of friendship with this one !!!

Our heros, yes, multiple - that's actually one of the many things that makes TOM so unique from all the other games, we travel in a group... Anyway, they're up against a massive malevolent entity from another world who used to cosplay God. And now has resorted to other means to try and control the world again. Because as it turns out, you cannot physically beat this thing to death. So that's why this entity makes a comeback.

And you can really feel this time that our heroes are in massive danger, that whatever they are facing is no joke and very twisted. But we still hear familiar notes we've heard before, especially thanks to the trumpets and flutes, the music is cheering the heros (and subsequently, the player) on.

If you want to listen to more Arvale, you can check it out on🤖Jaybot7 blog!

[mypoisonedvine]

The Wrong Idea | Lee Bodecker x reader

summary: you weren’t exactly a rebel in the eyes of the law, but that didn’t mean you cared for the corrupt, alcoholic town sheriff.  and that certainly didn’t mean you would care at all for him marrying your mother.  if only you’d known how much worse it could get...

word count: 4.5k

warnings: smut!! (heavy dubcon/noncon), age gap (reader is 19), stepcest, loss of virginity, pain kink, creampie kink, infidelity, degradation, oral (m and f receiving), spanking, choking, slapping, daddy kink, authority kink, subtle ddlg themes?, reader’s mom being toxic af

You’d never cared for the Sheriff.  Even you, being generally a well-behaved young woman, thought he was a little too intense and a little too corrupt.  Up until now, you’d assumed your mother agreed with you on that, because she never protested to your complaints about Sheriff Bodecker and his ‘fascist reign of terror’ as you called it.  Apparently that was a poor assumption, though.

“You… what?!”

“I never told you we were seein’ each other because I knew you had your childish rebellion against him and his police force,” your mother explained with a demeaning eyeroll.  “But now that we’re engaged, I can’t hide it anymore.”

“How long has this been going on?” you asked quietly, still in shock at what you were hearing— and unable to take your eyes off of the sparkling diamond wrapped around her finger.

“Oh, I’d say… about two months now,” she decided.

“Two—” you stopped and started over, so bewildered that you couldn’t finish your original sentence.  “You’re engaged after two months?”

“Don’t make that face at me, you look so ugly when you scowl like that,” she frowned.  Of course, she could never miss an opportunity to nag you.  “He’s a respectable man, and he treats me well.  The wedding is in three weeks— and he’s generous enough to let you live with us after that.  Says there’s a spare bedroom for you in his house.”

“His… his house…” you slurred, suddenly feeling light-headed.  “I’m… we’re moving…?”

“Yes, honey, and with your work ethic it’ll take you the whole three weeks to pack up, so you should start now,” she informed you with that cruel, fake smile of hers.

She walked away as you sat down on the couch, staring off into space, trying to comprehend what you just heard.  It’s not like you thought your mother was flawless or anything, or that you and her had a perfect relationship, but you thought she would’ve been a little more… gentle about all this.  She could do better than him anyways!  But she didn’t care about that, only money and status.  You could almost laugh at her small-mindedness to think the Sheriff of a nothing-town like Knockemstiff was actually plentiful in either of those things, but right now you couldn’t laugh.  You couldn’t even cry as you packed your things and said goodbye to the home you’d known your whole life.  You were just numb.

//

You couldn’t look him in the eye when you arrived at his house, duffel bags in hand and shoes stained with the dry red dirt of summer.  It was nicer than your old place, and if it were anyone else’s you’d say it had charm, but everything was tainted because you knew it was his.  You could sort of tell that this had been his bachelor pad for a while, but it had a half-assed attempt at hominess with the rug in the living room and a centerpiece on the kitchen table.  He even had a TV, presumably funded by bribes and all his other nefarious dealings— meaning you wouldn’t be able to bring yourself to watch it.

“Nice to meet ya, properly,” Lee greeted, though his monotone didn’t come across as particularly impassioned.

“Thank you, Sheriff,” you mumbled quickly, hoping to get this conversation over with.

“You don’t have to call me Sheriff anymore, you know.  Not in the house, at least.”

You nodded but said nothing, following him as he motioned for you and moved into the hallway.  You trailed behind him, noticing the eerie lack of any personal effects on the walls (no family photos, apparently, and not much of a family to photograph in the first place from what you’d heard), and stopped when he reached the door at the end.

“This is your room,” Lee informed you stiffly.  Opening the door, you were horrified by the assault on your eyes of pink.  Pink everything: pink wallpaper, a pink fuzzy quilt, pink bedframe.  There were even assorted stuffed animals on the bed, disturbingly enough.

“When my mother told you she had a daughter, did she not mention that I was grown?”

“You may be nineteen, honey, but you’re nowhere near grown,” he scowled.  “She didn’t tell me she had a daughter until two days before the weddin’.  This is what I managed to... improvise, since then.”

You almost had sympathy for him, just in that you two were both victims of your mother’s eccentricity.  Almost.  

“Must’ve inherited your expensive taste from your ma,” he frowned.  “Sorry, princess—” the nickname made his lips curl like the word itself tasted sour— “but this’ll have to do.”

“Oh, I’m nothing like her,” you sneered back, “cause I wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole.”

“What are you two chatting about?” your mother’s voice called from the kitchen.

Both of you answered at the same time: “Nothing!” 

With a grimace, you dragged your bag into the room and shut the door in his face.  It was those little acts of rebellion that had to tide you over.  You weren’t audacious enough to do anything actually cruel, or illegal, but you weren’t going to make this any easier for him.

At first it was just refusing to leave your room.  That worked for a week, until you realized you were going to starve to death.  So then the only times you saw him were at the dinner table, which you made into a protest by pretending he didn’t exist and refusing to answer his questions.  You occasionally relented when he asked you to pass something from your side of the table, but you never looked at him while you did it.  

He didn’t seem angry or sad about your determination to avoid him, if anything it seemed like he was happy to pretend you weren’t there either.  And that should’ve made it easier, but for some reason it bothered you even more.  You realized that maybe his attention did matter to you, even though it was negative attention that you were hoping to inspire, but you knew that was ridiculous and you tried to fight it.  Still, for all your plans to never see him, you sure did think about him a lot.  You thought about where he might be, so you could be somewhere else.  You thought about what he must be doing at work, and how he was probably continuing to be a nasty mean drunk as frequently as possible.  You wondered if he and your mother were making love just across the house, although you were lucky enough to never hear anything.  Just knowing that could be happening made you feel sick, even though you realized it was none of your business.  

You sometimes found yourself listening for it at night, just in case.

//

Your mother had decided to spend her new husband’s money on a trip, but the man himself couldn’t tag along— too much work to do, apparently.  The prospect of being left alone with him was nightmare fuel, but you didn’t even try to ask her to stay… you knew she wouldn’t listen.  She’d been totally absorbed in her own world since the wedding, seeming to be very fulfilled by the social role of ‘Sheriff’s wife’ to the point that she had lost all interest in her former position as ‘your mom’.  

There was a balance to the silence with her gone, though.  You avoided him, he avoided you; it was a tense truce, but a survivable one.  At least without her, nobody was going to try to make you two get along.  Friday night was different, though.  This time when he came home from work, you knew you were stuck with him until Monday morning.  That thought made you realize that you needed to get out and you didn’t care if you weren’t dressed for it.  It was hot, and it was just a walk so nobody was going to see you in this miniskirt anyway, right?

Too bad Lee was sitting on the couch, still in his uniform, not giving you any mind but likely to harass you before you could make it outside.  You figured if you just walked casually enough, he wouldn’t even notice, so you made your way towards the door.

“You’re not going out like that,” he announced suddenly, seemingly without even looking up from his newspaper.

“Says who?” you deflected quickly with a raised brow.  It wasn’t that you wanted to pick a fight, but you just couldn’t understand why he would even care what you were wearing.

“Says the guy who doesn’t want you to give all the neighborhood boys the wrong idea.”

“What idea?!” you asked, crossing your arms.  He shot you a look, quickly raking in your body and outfit which made you feel more observed than you cared for.

“The idea that you’re a slut,” he explained coldly.

You gulped at his words but tried to keep a poker face.  You didn’t let it get this far just to give up.  You were so sick of his shit; what made him think he could boss you around when he’d never even tried to get to know you?

“What makes you assume that’s the wrong idea?” you shot back, fighting the nervousness in your voice.

You hadn’t expected him to stand up instantly, the coffee table wobbling a bit when his knee bumped into it.

“The fuck did you say?” he hissed.

With his teeth bared at you he looked like a predator, and you felt like small, helpless prey.  You tried to muster some of your former confidence, but everything came out shaky and weak.  “I— I said that maybe it’s not the wrong ide—”

He pounced, crossing the room and slamming you back against the wall, a hand at each shoulder; you instantly cowered, shrinking back and turning your face away from him as far as you could.  You never thought he’d put his hands on you like this.  Your heart was pounding so loudly that you were surprised you could hear his hoarse whisper.

“Watch your tone with me.  I’m not kidding around.”

“I’m an adult,” you weakly fought back, “I can do what I want.”

“Not in my fuckin’ house you can’t!” he bellowed.

For some reason, it all hit you at once.  All the emotions you’d been suppressing since your mother had gotten engaged— all the anger and fear and betrayal and indignation, they came bubbling up before you could stop them.  

“I don’t even want to be in your ugly fucking house!” you cried in response.  “I don’t wanna be anywhere near you!  You’re a fascist and a tyrant and a pig!”

You expected him to get more aggressive but he suddenly stilled.  It was the scariest anger, that outwardly-calm type that made your blood go cold.

“Go to your room.”

You didn’t question it, turning to walk away (any excuse to get away from him, right?), but you didn’t expect him to follow you in and shut the door behind the both of you.

You were paralyzed with fear as he stepped past you and sat on your bed.  It was sort of strange as you realized you’d never seen him in your room before.  He stood out against the somewhat childish decorations, but you were in no mood to appreciate the humor of the situation as he patted his knee.

“Lay across my lap.  Don’t make me tell you twice.”

He couldn’t possibly be doing what I think he’s doing, could he? you wondered to yourself, but did as he asked.  You realized you’d never been so close to him before, the warmth of his body radiating through his clothes.  He smelled like cologne and booze, although you didn’t think he’d actually had much to drink yet today— at least compared to his normal habits.  It was almost worse to think that he wasn’t acting on drunkenness now.

“It’s prob’ly too late for it, but you are in serious need of discipline, young lady.”

You had no idea what he was talking about, but your body reacted to it differently than you expected.

His fingers slipped between the top of your skirt and your skin, having to pull pretty hard to get it down due to how tight it was.  You bit your lip and hoped he wouldn’t notice your arousal, but as your pussy was exposed, you could feel the breeze from the ceiling fan and you knew you were undeniably wet.  You didn’t know why, but you were.

“Count them for me,” he instructed coldly and before you could ask what you were counting, he brought his hand down firmly.  You felt his wedding ring in the slap and it made you feel a little sick.

“O-one,” you stammered.

He delivered four more, alternating cheeks, and you tried not to react with visible pain.  But as the intensity increased, you realized that not reacting might’ve actually been making it worse.  Either way, you couldn’t stop yourself from crying out when the eighth made your whole body lurch forward from the force.

“Eight!” you squealed, but both of you noticed the way you pushed your hips forward.  Unintentional as it may have been, you were trying to rub yourself on his thigh, desperate to be touched where it felt like all the energy of your body had focused.  You were sure you’d never been so horny before, and now your clit was nearly throbbing.  What the fuck is wrong with me?!

He quickly delivered the final two slaps before grabbing your neck, hoisting you up until you were on your knees before him.  He examined your face closely and you tried to keep your lip from shaking.

“You’re worse than I thought,” he hissed.  “You are in dire need of a punishment.  You should thank me for going so easy on you so far.”

You realized when his grip on your jaw tightened that he was being literal.  “Thank you, for going easy on me…”

“Where’d that fire go, huh?  Guess you’re all talk,” he laughed.  

He roughly shoved his fingers into your mouth, moaning lowly as your tongue rubbed against the pads of his fingers.  “This fuckin’ mouth.  You just don’t know when to keep it shut, do you?  Come on baby, open up.  I’ve got a better use for it than your fuckin’ disrespectful attitude.”

He used his free hand to work on his belt right in front of your face, and your eyes went wide.

“Don’t act so surprised sweetheart,” he said with a hint of irritation, “this is exactly what you’re asking for.”

You gasped a bit when his cock was freed from his trousers, springing up and already red at the tip.  You’d never seen one this close before and it was intimidating in every way.

“Like what you see?  You’re so wet for it,” he purred.  You tried to speak but words abandoned you. 

It was all a blur as he held your mouth open and shoved his cock inside— it tasted like skin and salt, and the size made your chapped lips crack until you worried they would bleed.  His moans were deep and gravelly, making your skin break out into goosebumps as he pumped smoothly into your pliant mouth.  He slapped your face a few times, not quite hard but plenty strong enough to make it sting.  You winced with each impact, the tears which had welled from your gagging finally falling down and dripping from your chin.

“Suck on it, princess, like a popsicle… fuck yeah, like that,” he groaned, and your mind resisted obeying him but your body was completely at his mercy.  “Aw baby, ya look so good chokin’ on my cock.  Is that what you were gonna go do in this slutty little outfit you’ve got on?”

You tried to shake your head but he was holding you down, not even giving you a chance to breathe.  His protruding stomach rubbed against your forehead when his cock was this deep in your throat, and the disgust and fear somehow made your arousal stronger.

He let you go, finally, and you pulled back with a gasp and a cough.  You weren’t given much reprieve, though, as he started to tug at your blouse as well.

“No, wait,” you whimpered, weakly trying to bat his hands away.

“Wait?  I think I’ve been waiting long enough,” he growled.  “Your ma’s a fuckin’ tease, hasn’t touched me since I got her that ugly fuckin’ ring.  Let’s hope you learn from her mistakes.”

Your blouse was torn open and tossed aside, leaving you only in the pulled-up skirt and your bra.  Reaching up to cover yourself, you were discouraged by the shockingly-gentle brush of his hands. 

“Don’t cover yourself, sweetheart, you’re gorgeous,” he murmured.  His gaze made you feel hot all over, and it wasn’t just because of the summer weather outside.  “Nobody ever looked at ya before?”

You shook your head, looking down at the floor.  A finger under your chin guided you to look up at him.  

“Nobody ever touched ya before?” he pressed, his stare boring into you.  You shook your head again.  “Fuck,” he whispered, but then he started to smile proudly.  “Knew you were a good girl, princess, you just didn’t wanna act like one for some reason.  You gonna be good for me now?” 

You nodded weakly, swallowing as you tried to comprehend what was happening.  

“Then I’ll be good to you, too,” he promised darkly, a shimmer in his eyes that made you throb between your thighs.  “Come get on the bed, pretty girl.”

You almost resisted, but it was your need driving you now, not your mind.  You had been waiting too long to let a boy touch you, and now that a man had touched you, you felt all kinds of wrong and yet craved more.  Before you had even finished sitting down beside him, he was slipping off your bra and pushing you back onto the quilt.

“Sheriff!” you yelped instinctively, a little disoriented as he started to climb on top of you.

He chuckled, clearly amused by your unexpected appeal to authority.  “Wanna know a secret, sweetheart?  Wanna know the real reason I said you didn’t have to call me that anymore?”  He leaned down, his breath hot and moist against your neck when he spoke: “Because it made me so fuckin’ hard when you said it.”

He pressed his cock, still wet with your spit, against your thigh; maybe just for emphasis, a reminder that he was still hard and wasn’t anywhere near done with you.

“What are you gonna do to me…?” you asked weakly, your voice so wavering and broken that you cringed just hearing it.  

“Just gonna make you feel good, princess,” he smiled, and before you could ask what that would entail, he was groping your tits in his large, calloused hands.  A low groan echoed in his chest, and you tried not to squirm as he teased your nipples between his fingers.  They were already hardening from the moment he’d touched you, but somehow it was getting even worse when he played with them, watching your face and surely seeing the shame you wore there.

His hands trailed lower, rubbing your waist, your thighs… you found yourself anticipating that he’d remove your panties, so much so that when he did, you quickly lifted your hips to help him slide them off.  You couldn’t believe how easily you were letting him do this to you.

“I can tell how much you want it,” he taunted lowly as the fabric slid down your legs and was tossed to the floor.  “I can smell how much you want it.”  He growled a little before diving in, licking a thick stripe through your folds and taking a moment right at the end to tickle your clit with his tongue.  “So fuckin’ sweet, princess; I knew you would be,” he praised.  You were forced to wonder how long he’d been thinking about this.

The noises were beyond obscene and you felt your face burning— but there was a burning in your gut, too, and shooting down your legs.  You’d never felt like this before (being a very good girl who never even touched herself), but you knew that if he didn’t stop, you would come.  And you really, really wanted to come.

Everytime he put pressure on your clit, your leg quivered involuntarily.  It was nearly too much, the sensation so powerful it almost hurt, but he pushed you right to the edge without knocking you off.

“Please,” you found yourself begging before you could stop it, “please, Sheriff—”

“I’m not your Sheriff anymore, sweetheart,” he informed you gruffly, popping up from between your legs with the entire bottom half of his face covered in your arousal, “I’m your daddy now.  Go on and beg your daddy to fuck you.”

Eyes shot wide open, you stared back at him in bewilderment.  Rage flashed in his eyes, and he snarled as his hand suddenly wrapped around your neck, tightening and choking you. 

“You heard me,” he groaned through his teeth.  “Beg me.  To fuck you.”

“Daddy,” you stammered, hoarsely fighting to speak through the pressure on your throat, “fuck me, please.”

He slammed his cock into you and you nearly screamed.  It burned and you instinctively tried to crawl away but, of course, his weight on top of you made it impossible.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he groaned.  He laid down on top of you entirely then, slipping his arms under your torso and holding you tightly.

Each thrust made you feel like you had reached your limits, as if you couldn’t be stretched further which was probably true.  And yet, in spite of it (or worse, because of it), you found yourself moaning and writhing under him, even arching your back to make his movements smoother.  He laughed a little as he bit at the shell of your ear.

“You love it, baby,” he moaned, “you love my cock.”

You couldn’t respond, just sob as you clutched at the shirt still on his back, your jaw tight as you tried to bear the pain.  

“It’s not always gonna hurt like this,” he promised between heavy breaths, “s’gonna feel good soon.  Gonna make you feel so fuckin’ good, pretty girl.”

Truthfully, you weren’t sure if that meant that this would happen again or not.  At the moment, you were incapable of thinking that far ahead, too focused on the way the sting of the stretch was melting away and morphing into such powerful pleasure that you couldn’t even see straight.

He kissed you, and only then did the weight of it hit you.  Who he was, what he was doing, what you were doing… it had been distant and vague before, but something about his tongue inside your mouth made you remember that the metal digging into your back was his ring; that the lips on yours were sworn to somebody else— and at that, the one exact person that made this so fundamentally wrong.

Tears welled in your eyes, gentle sobs shaking your chest.

“Don’t cry, baby,” he whispered, pulling back and kissing your tears away, “feels good, don’t it?  Feels good when daddy fucks you?”

You knew speaking would only make you cry more, so you only nodded your head shamefully.

“That’s my good girl,” he moaned as he fucked you deeper, harder, rougher.  Your fingers held onto the back of his neck, running through his hair and pulling him closer.  He kept mumbling praises but they fell on deaf ears, pleasure clouding your mind and making every hair on your body stand upright.  He didn’t stop as he reached down between your bodies and laid his hand over your stomach, growling with satisfaction at what he found there.

“I can feel me inside ya,” he grinned.  “Feel that, sweetheart?  Feel how deep I am in your wet little cunt?”

When you didn’t answer, you got a quick slap to the face.  “Yes,” you replied quickly, “yes, I— I feel it.”

He buried his face into the crook of your neck, biting you there until you nearly screamed.  You couldn’t figure out why something so objectively painful only pushed you closer to your peak, making every spot inside you more sensitive, but somehow it did.

“Gonna come, pretty girl?  Want daddy to fill you up?” he groaned against your ear, pushing down on your stomach even harder.

“Yes, daddy!” you sobbed.  “Please!”

“Fuck, you’re squeezin’ me,” he hissed, “don’t fuckin’ stop.  Keep milkin’ my cock and m’gonna fill ya up so good, princess…”

You couldn’t stop even if you tried— your orgasm hit you in powerful waves, your head falling back as your walls clenched involuntarily (as did your fingers and toes, so hard that your nail tore the sheets a little bit, which you wouldn’t notice until the next day).  He grunted as he came, pumping into you with each thrust until you felt more full than you ever had before, in a way you could never describe.

The two of you stayed like that for a moment, him catching his breath and you losing yours as his weight threatened to crush you.  “Fuck,” he groaned as he sat up and pulled out.  He grabbed your legs and held them up for you, staring at your abused pussy and making you feel uncomfortably observed.

“Push it out for me, wanna see my come leak outta ya,” he purred, moaning a little when you did as he asked.  It felt even hotter as it gushed out of you, and you mindlessly bit your lip.  He tucked his softening cock back into his trousers, rezipping them and buckling his belt.  “We’d better get ya cleaned up, huh princess?” 

The bathroom wasn’t far, so he carried you, setting you down to stand on your own as he started to draw a bath.  You watched him, although you weren’t really watching him so much as staring into the void of space that happened to be in his general direction.  You were so out of it that you didn’t even register when he turned around and smiled at you with an air of pride.

“You look so good like this.”  

It pulled you out of your trance, though you had to ask him to repeat himself with a mumbled “huh?”

“I said you look good like this,” he explained, stepping closer.  “Fucked out, braindead, just my empty-headed fucktoy.”

“I… I don’t…” you began to disagree.

He used your jaw to turn your face to the mirror, and you gasped when you saw yourself: your hair was a mess; your whole face was red, especially your eyes and nose from crying, but plenty on your cheeks where he’d slapped you; your lips were swollen and slick; bruises were already forming on your arms where he’d grabbed you, and along your neck and shoulders where he had bitten you.

His form dwarfed yours as he stood behind you, looking at your reflection with a smile.

“Look at us,” he announced wistfully, “one big happy family, huh?”

[s0ckh3adstudios]

They’re fresh! They’re dead! They’re ghost kids ruling over a forest! It’s the Haunted Hats Subcon Squad! Woo!

Redrawn refs ready for 2022 babbyyy. Do reblog and show, introduce more ppl to the squad and the AU >:3

Look down here for info, music ideas, and idk stuff. I’m mostly copy pasting stuff from old posts and google docs, but I’m editing some stuff.

THE HERO

She believes she’s a hero, anyway. The princess of Subcon Kingdom, Hero is a ghost with a temper who doesn’t appreciate trespassers in her forest kingdom! Do that crime, you gotta do some time.

When Beta enters Subcon Kingdom, Mu forces her to sign a contract to agree that she’ll help out with chores and other tasks around the forest as punishment for trespassing into the forest and causing a bit of damage by accident. Hero is doing her best to make Subcon Kingdom a better place (though is failing) and now Beta needs to help. Unfortunately, she should have read the fine print of that contract, because now she lost ownership of her soul for awhile. Peck.

Music (underlined words have links to music):

So, Hero’s got several different motifs to go by, but with the role she’s in she only needs like a couple songs so let’s go in order.

1: Snatcher’s Contractual Obligations! This counts yes it does. When you meet Hero, it goes similar to how you meet Mu in the game. You see her, you start going in her direction to follow her, then suddenly you get into her version of Snatcher’s purple vine area as she says “HEY I SAW YOU STALKING ME YKNOW”. Hers wouldn’t sound as intense? Because she’s not necessarily trying to be evil? It might sound a little condescending, she means business. You trespassed into her forest which is a crime, now you’ve gotta make up for it.

I feel like with that song... I first thought hers could be made with A New Friend In Mafia Town, but after thinking about it, I honestly think with Snatcher’s Contractual Obligations it would work better with the tune of Judge, Jury, and Executioner. I was thinking about this earlier and I honestly think this song could be really cool, even if the song isn’t used often.

2: Okay, so remember So, What’s The Plan?  HERO COULD GET HER OWN SPOOKIFIED VERSION OF THIS WHEN SHE’S MAKING YOU SIGN CONTRACTS AND TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO… That’d be cool. I guess it could keep the tune it already has but just sound spookier for Subcon?? idk man.

3: Let’s talk about the theme of Subcon Forest itself! Sure it could be the same but I think it’d be fun if it had more Mu motifs since she’s (1) the main leader of Subcon and (2) the one who actually has lived there all her life. I think it could have several different motifs, BUT THE MAIN ONE WOULD DEFINITELY BE Judge, Jury, And Executioner . Judge, Jury and Executioner my beloved… It’s one of my top favourite AHIT songs, if you didn’t know. Anywho yeah the HH Subcon Kingdom theme would def still contain some of it’s og themes, but also Mu ones.…honestly, no no, it would also include themes relating to the other ghosts :0 some Her Spaceship motifs for Collector and Hoarder, and… idk, something for Haunter. Timmy doesn’t have music.

4: Oh, It’s You! Oh yeah. Maybe Hero’s would be a lil more triumphant, a little royal since she’s acting as the “Queen/Princess” of Subcon? Not sure which of her songs would fit best with it.. But I’d be interested in hearing something like it. Maybe A New Friend In Mafia Town since that’s her most chill theme, with hints of like Judge, Jury, Executioner in there.

5: NOW FOR HERO’S BOSS FIGHT. Mu literally has 3 separate battle themes, mix one or all of them into Your Contract Has Expired and you’re good. Probably Segment 2, it’s the best. I guess some segment 3 could be in there but like... that one is more like for Hat Kid having the rush and triumph and almost saving the world. Ofc the battle theme could also have all her other themes thrown around in there too.

THE HAUNTER

The spooky, coat wearing spirit who haunts the abandoned manor within Subcon Kingdom! It’s said that he took it over shortly after he got here and turned it into the most haunted building in the land, with over a hundred rooms and maze-like corridors. It’s also said you can hear the rave music from the ghost parties that go on in there from miles away. He’s not exactly the most intimidating ghost, but he tries to be!

You don’t get to fight this ghost, nope! He’s just not into that kind of activity. Instead, he gives you the challenge of getting through his haunted manor in order to get a Time Piece reward! Not only that, but there may or may not be a couple more hidden rewards within the many halls and rooms of the manor. More Time Pieces? Stickers? Remixes? Dyes? They’re all hidden somewhere! But the place is a maze of rooms, how are you supposed to find anything in there, especially your way out? 

Music (underlined words have links to music):

just KIDDING I GUESS I CAN’T REALLY DO THAT THERE IS NO MUSIC RELATED TO HIIIIMM…

Well, he can have an Oh, It’s You ofc. Again, really not sure about his motifs.

Maybe since he was cut co-op he has some similar motifs to Coco and Hoarder? Ooh, that’d make sense... the three other ghosts having similar motifs. Maybe stuff like the title screen. Oh, and also Tim’s unused theme. Honestly? Something like that could be fun with an Oh, It’s You. Would make sense since he’s Tim’s kid.

The only other theme Haunter would have is for his haunted manor. Basically how it works is you have to go through it to get a Time Piece from Haunter if you manage to get out of the maze of a haunted house. Inside are lots of rooms, puzzles, parkour, etc. It’s bigger on the inside. You can find stickers in there, yarn, more time pieces, coins, secrets ;).

So the mansion theme would be of similar instrument and vibe to the usual theme for Vanessa’s manor, but not AS creepy, yknow? A little fun spooky? Mysterious? What’s around that next corner? What’s in the next room? What’s gonna pop out next? Maybe a song similar to that of Gloucester Carousel from Mad Rat Dead. Not AS upbeat, way more spooky and curious, but it has that goofy vibe as if this is a game.

THE COLLECTOR AND THE HOARDER

This hat-wearing ghost may just be the smuggest ghost of them all! What’s her and Hoarder’s goal? To collect! Collect what? ...Well, everything! Originally, it was just Time Pieces, but their ghostly corruption and boring afterlife led them to want so much more!

As her name suggests, she collects things! She enlists in Beta to help her collect Time Pieces, much to the kid’s dismay. You do end up fighting her to get all the Time Pieces back for yourself, and Collector has all the different hat abilities. Yes, EVEN Time-Stop. She’s a tough foe. When she’s not being smug and laid-back evil, she can be devastating to your HP.

The Collector’s ghostly little sister and helper, the Hoarder, is a shy spirit who doesn’t do as much collecting as her sister. She does more of the organizing. Everything has to be in its place! Her presence in Subcon Kingdom isn’t as well known as the other ruler ghosts, and her existence is often forgotten as a whole. But, don’t be fooled! She can be just as smug and frustrated as her sister!

After finishing up the tasks with Collector, Beta goes into Collector and Hoarder’s abandoned spaceship hide-out to retrieve the Time Pieces that have been put there. Just when you think Hoarder isn’t gonna be a threat to you, just wait! She’s the obstacle you’ve got to watch out for in that hide-out. She’s doing some organizing and cleaning as usual, and you have to sneak past in order to get to the room the Time Pieces are being kept in. In order to distract her, you’ll have to use the brewing hat to knock down items from shelves so Hoarder will be focused on fixing and putting the item back for a few seconds. If you’re spotted however, you have to hide quickly, or else Hoarder will call Collector back to the hide-out for her to give you a game-over.

Music (underlined words have links to music):

Honestly? They have more of the Vanessa’s manor activity than Haunter does. So, for these two, they love to collect things, especially time pieces. So you have to go collect that stuff for them. Now, you wanna go and get that stuff back in the end.

C and H live in their crashed spaceship which they use as a house. It’s full to the brim with shelves of collected items, and you have to sneak through it and get all your belongings while heading to the room full of Time Pieces. (There’s actually two variations of Time Pieces so Beta knows which are hers.) But as you’re sneaking through their hide out while Collector is away, Hoarder is there to guard their treasure. So you have to be careful for her to not see you. If she does, Hoarder will call Collector, and they’ll both give you a game over. Which nobody wants. So you’ll have to distract her by making sounds in different spots to distract her, sneak around, etc.

SO. SO. Since this is in their spaceship. Maybe the music there would be like… Her Spaceship sounding creepy and sounding like the manor music? :0 Oh that would be so cool.

They both have an Oh, It’s You! of course. They’d probably share one, but that’s... boring. Idk. Collector’s would be smugger, Hoarder’s would be softer. Probably would have elements from Peace and Tranquility, maybe the menu theme. Coco and Hoarder have a lot of motifs to choose from as the protagonists of AHIT algkjkglh.

Then there IS boss fight with Collector, and she has access to all the hats so that also makes her tough. Again, lots of motifs for what her song could be. Of course it would also sound like Your Contract Has Expired, but there’s a lot of Hat Kid themes. Maybe hers would have the Segment 3 from You Are All Bad Guys mixed with her other themes like the spaceship theme, menu theme.

[yanderenightmare]

could we get the bnha yanderes with a darling that’s actually really fond of their dark side and revels in the attention

yandere ! BNHA headcannons

TIP-JAR

goodiebag WARNINGS: anxiety, arson, drugs, guilt, delusions, kidnapping, Stockholm syndrome, mind control, DUBCON, yandere-themes

BAKUGO KATSUKI - KACHAN

He had planned to be sweet, similar to his scent of caramel as opposed to what destruction he was capable of. He had planned to be patient, to tolerate whatever screams and cries his darling might have reacted with, but what he was met with wasn’t horror, but… something strangely akin to what he would call gratitude or even excitement or even lovesickness. He thinks she surprised herself more than she surprised him with how easy she folded, but once he got over the shock and not to mention the suspicion her compliant nature beckoned from him, he was only motivated to go harder, to be rougher, to be as intense as he had wished but had held back. She likes the attention, despite it being overwhelming and scary and brutal at times, she still likes it, maybe even because of it. Once he got over the fear of her acceptance crushing under the full weight of his obsession, he became cocky about it. She’s his little freak and he has the confidence and the reassurance to tease her for it now, thoroughly amused with how her eyes cross paths and her brows knit together, drooling and mewling with his hand wrapped around her throat, squeezing her neck with her tight little pussy clenching around his shaft as he drives into her. He exploits it, finding such great amusement and entertainment in hearing her pray for him to go harder and faster, even as she begins to cry, limbs shaking as she continues to beg for him, eyes like opium, wide and void with pooling darkness.

DABI - TODOROKI TOUYA

Dabi had expectations. Expecting his little darling to not fully be at peace with his self-proclaimed ownership of her, he had decided to not pay her objections any mind. He decided that the hard way was the best way from the very start. But… his darling didn’t meet him with the type of reluctance he had expected. Sure, she was crying, but when he reached out his hand she didn’t bite like the sort of animal he’d expected, but rather, reached out ever so timidly and eyes so wide and glossy and sparkly and in search for some comfort. He couldn’t be harsh when she was being so sweet, he couldn’t be anything but appreciative when she curled up on his lap like such a soft little thing, hands gripping onto his shirt, sobs that seemed too tame for him to scold her, besides… it felt… nice. It felt nice to be the source of comfort as opposed to the factor of discomfort. It felt like absolution. He used to think he’d find clinginess annoying, but his little darling is clingy in all the right ways. Latching onto him when she’s crying, after a bad dream, all throughout the night, even when he’s the source to her pain, when he makes her jump up and down on his cock, her arms wrapped around his neck, fingers intertwining in his raven locks, legs around his torso, running to hug and welcome him home, kissing him, telling him how she missed him, how much she loves him, how much she needs him.

SHIGARAKI TOMURA

He’s so confused. He kidnapped her. Kidnapped her. Took her, abducted her, stole her, forced her away from a life with little regard to her feelings on the whole ordeal, subjugated her to a tiny room with more flying specs of dust than light allowed to shine through the windows. It’s not even like he’s a handsome kidnapper either. Is she insane? Why is she looking at him like that? Why isn’t she afraid, why isn’t she swatting his hands away when he reaches to touch her? Why is she touching him? How can she touch his wrinkles, his scars, his cracking breaking skin? How can she touch his hands, his scarred deadly bloodied hands? And what is that look on her face? If he didn’t know any better he’d call it fascination, curiosity perhaps… adoration? No. No, no, no, no way. No way she’s simply just… accepting… enjoying… just as simple as that. To be honest, he’s feeling slightly freaked out, alarmed, concerned. This isn’t natural. This isn’t healthy. She should at least cry, if only just a little bit. But no. No, her fingers playing curiously with his hair when he’s playing videogames. At least she doesn’t talk to him like they’re chummy old pals, then he’d really feel the thin hairs at the back of his neck rise. But, when he touches her milky skin with his sandpaper-fingertips she doesn’t squirm, and when he pushes those same fingers knuckle deep inside her she doesn’t tell him to stop. He finds himself quickly enjoying testing the boundaries of his little darling, boundaries he’s yet to have found proof of.

SHINSO HITOSHI

He was expecting for there to be some debate surrounding his ownership of her, he was preparing to teach his little pet a thing or two about who was boss early on, but… she seemed to slip right into her role so naturally. Instead of him teasing her, she’s teasing him, mocking him, making him feel as though he has no control even as he stares into those wide milky orbs who no longer have the ability of mobility, yet still has the power to inch her lips into that eerie playful catlike grin, as though she’s excited, as though spiked with untamed thrill. She’ll talk to him as though there’s no danger, as though he won’t have her mind in his clutches by the end of it, almost as if she’s counting on it, waiting for it, coaxing him with words of her own. They’ll play like cat and mouse, one always either tempting or chasing the other. She’ll even laugh, eyes bright and vivid and spiked and twirling as she lets him catch her time and time again, in a way that makes him believe he’s the one that’s been captured. He’s surprised, to say the least, surprised because his little darling is in fact a little devil, a little baby-faced angel-eyed demon, who enjoys how the darkness feels against her skin, who loves how his inky-fingers feel when tampering with her mind, and has darkness of her own to drown him with too.

TAKAMI KEIGO - HAWKS

He was preparing for a wild beast, but was happy to find his little darling settling in as though she understood that in the comfort of his house is where she belonged. Calling it a kidnapping became weird and sounded foreign when referring to their arrangement, especially when he came home to his darling in her apron, cooking, cleaning or sleeping so soundly on his couch you’d think she’d done so her whole life. She doesn’t flinch when he touches her, she rather leans in to greet the touch, her eyes heavy-lidded and joined with his gaze. And when he comes home, some days all broken and bruised and bloodied and smoke-ridden, his feathers ragged and plucked, she’ll fuss. Fuss and pamper and coo and take such good care of him, softly and sweetly patching him up, messaging wings, give his torn lip a kiss, stroke a careful hand through his locks. She’ll be so perfect, like an angel, a living breathing real-life angel. Or a guardian, something he’s always wanting. Someone to make him feel safe and loved and protected, despite him being the hero and his darling being the victim to his villainy.

MIDORIYA IZUKU - DEKU

Here he was thinking she couldn’t possibly be any more of an adorable little darling than what she already was. He’s not used to being wrong about his calculations, he’s not used to liking finding faults in his calculations, but he has to admit he was pleasantly surprised with how his darling accepted his feelings easier than what he had expected. He had assumed it to be a lengthy and gradual and careful process, he was prepared to take his time, be patient, be supportive, but… his darling portrayed little of what anxiety symptoms he had imagined: panic-attacks, quaking, crying, screaming. She seemed more honored than anything. Amazed to have caught the eye of the Midoriya Izuku, the number 1. Hero of not just Japan, but arguably the whole world. She felt proud, bashful to be getting the attention, but thriving in it despite herself believing it was misplaced. Wanting to return Izuku’s worship, cherish, awe with appreciation of her own at every given turn. She would still yelp when he picked her up to carry her about, but who wouldn’t when his arms are the sizes of pillars. Though, the sound of surprise would always be followed by the sound of laughter, school-girl giggles that felt like the fluttering of butterflies against his chest. Also, when she slept on top of him. With one of his hands placed on the dome of her ass and the other holding a book up for him to read, the small feel of her drumming pitter patter heartbeats against his ribcage, so cute and comfortable and safe.

CHISAKI KAI - OVERHAUL 

He was expecting a fight, he was expecting annoying migraine-evoking screams, he was expecting thrashing, causing waves to fall onto the bathroom tiles when she was in the bathtub. He was expecting the worst, because that’s what good business men do: expect the worst, prepare for the worst, and find refuge in the fact that it was far from what hell they had imagined. But… it’s rare to be met with the exact opposition of what you had predicted, which was what had happened. There was no war, there was no fight, there was no riot, there wasn’t even the hint of resistance. There were still small tremors of fear though, yet far less than what he had foreseen. The type of fear you find when bringing home a new pet, more careful hesitant curiosity than actual fear, as though trying to find comfort in your surroundings, as though trying to settle in. He looks like a dangerous man, yet… her eyes aren’t terror-wide but big with anticipation, with a strange form of thrill. And though her actions remained feather-light she was still the first one to reach out, she was still the one to ask to witness the demolition and recreation of his quirk, she was still the one that chose to tie the knot to his tie in the morning. Though he was the one to have found and taken her, she was the pioneer.

TODOROKI SHOTO

Not much can change what Shoto has planned for his darling’s future. Whether she enjoys it or hates it, it will be accepted. What he plans to do with her, what soft-tinted or red-violent passions he plans on bestowing upon her, the fact that she likes it from the start hardly matters when through time she was going to learn to enjoy it anyway. He was always going to lick up her skin with his flames or make her skin whisper upon the threat of being frozen, until she’s a sweat-slicked feverish mess in his lap, and he was always going to take good soft care of her afterwards. But, he must admit, he’s surprised to find that the aftercare is such a sweet pleasure, seemingly rivaling what blissed-out state he can reach when playing with his little darling. He knew he would enjoy it, but… he could never have imagined the motherly touch his darling gifts him with, what tender smiles and heavenly laughs and the way she tangles herself with him, limbs an unruly yet comfortable knot. What more, when she asks to see his quirks, wants him to make frost-flowers on the windows or in the shower on the glass-walls, when she holds his hands as he creates little lanterns of dancing tendrils and wisps, ones she can tickle with her fingertips as they twirl in his palm. The way her eyes light up with that childlike-wonder he never seemed to possess when he was young, makes him feel a different type of warm far from burning.

TIP-JAR

[dinosaurtsukki]

[ it takes two to tango ]

pairing: chuuya nakahara x f!reader

word count: 2.4k words

contains: enemies but they flirt a lot basically, so much sexual tension and teasing, flirty!y/n, fight scenes and dance scenes basically carry the same amount of sexual tension and i will die on this hill

summary: chuuya runs into you, his arch-nemesis, again at a masquerade ball on a mission and reluctantly allies himself with you to fulfill the same goal

a/n: okay here’s ANOTHER chuuya fic from your resident chuuya fangirl. this is my first time writing an enemies to lovers-ish fic and i had so much fun with the setting and sexual tension here so i hope you guys like it 

▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂

chuuya was being watched, he could feel it ever since he walked into the large mansion on undercover mission that mori sent him out to do. at first, he didn’t think much of it since he was going to a masquerade ball, after all. of course there would be a few girls or two who’s eyes he managed to catch. 

except, when he went off on his own inside the mansion to search for info on the enemy faction’s leader, who also happened to be hosting the party, he could tell he was now being followed.  chuuya wasn’t particularly alarmed, he could handle anyone by himself. but he was pretty pissed off when he realized who those familiar footsteps, that grew nearer than ever, belonged to.

without hesitation, chuuya pulled out his knife and whirled around to face a pistol directed at his face. even with the black, feathered mask covering half your face, chuuya would recognize his arch-nemesis anywhere. 

he watched your red lips curl up in a smirk. “fancy seeing you here, nakahara,” you purred.

“fuck, you again?” chuuya growled, not lowering his knife. 

“try as you might, i’m afraid you just can’t avoid me,”  you said, lowering your gun. “so, you’re looking into boss tanaka too, huh? i’m afraid i already searched his office before you came in.” 

“that so?” chuuya snorted, mentally cursing himself for not coming earlier. but then, you were always just one step ahead of him.

you and chuuya had been arch-nemeses ever since you crossed paths at a mission a few years ago. he had never heard of you at all and knew very well that you weren’t part of any organization. rather, you worked alone as a paid criminal: assassinating anyone or stealing information all depending on who your boss was. if you were from an enemy organization, chuuya would have thought better of you. 

“unfortunately not,” you sighed, raising the skirt of your scarlet dress and tucking your gun away in the holster strapped to your thigh. chuuya tried not to let his eyes linger too long on this show off skin and realized, with a lot of discomfort, that you looked really good tonight. the dress you wore complimented the color of your lipstick and fit you like a glove, hugging your curves in all the perfect places. your hair was even done up too.

“like what you see?” you smirked at him, causing chuuya to blush and dart his eyes away, only for you to chuckle at his response. “don’t worry, you’re not the only one enjoying the view tonight,” you winked. unlike chuuya, you were a tad bit more, upfront, about your attraction to him. after all, he was an amazing fighter and ability user, a port mafia executive, and very good-looking to top it all off. and tonight, he was especially stunning in his dark gray suit and the white mask that covered his eyes and part of his left cheek.

oh, if only you two weren’t enemies. but then again, sometimes working together had its benefits.

“boss tanaka’s downstairs mingling with the guests. i recognized a few of his co-executives there with him,” chuuya said, walking ahead down the hallway and back to the dance floor.

“oho? are you suggesting we team up for a bit?” you raised an eyebrow at him.

“only until we get what we need, l/n,” chuuya flashed you a look. “after that, it’s free for all, like always.”

“you got it,” you mused as the two of you entered the ballroom of the masquerade ball. you were thankful for the theme giving you an opportunity to look less inconspicuous after you snuck in uninvited. the two of you scanned the sea of masked guests before spotting the unmistakable large figure and bald head of your target in the middle of the dance floor, chatting with a few of his associates.

“alright, follow my lead,” you said, holding your hand out to chuuya. 

“your lead?” he said, looking at your hand with more than a hint of suspicion. you rolled your eyes at him.

“how do you expect us to get close and listen on him without drawing attention?”

chuuya looked from you to the dance floor and understood what you were talking about. still, “no way am i dancing with you.”

“how come? don’t know how?” you mocked, grinning at the infuriated look on chuuya’s face as he grabbed your hand and pulled you with him to the dance floor. 

“you’re following my lead,” he said lowly, placing a hand behind your back and pulling you close. you two were inches apart and up close, you could smell chuuya’s usual cologne and the faintest hint of cigarette smoke. then slowly, the two of you began to move with the music. 

chuuya had only happened to learn dancing, from koyou-san of course, when he realized it was useful for certain missions and mingling with a crowd. he was confident with his skill and maneuvered the two of you effortlessly through the dance floor and getting within earshot of boss tanaka. the whole point of dancing with you was to get in close and overhear his plans. 

except, chuuya was unbelievably distracted by how close you were to him. everything from your the intensity of your gaze as you listened into your target’s conversation, to the warmth of your bare arm against his, to the scent of your perfume, was enough to make him feel more than a little warm. damn it, was he attracted to you now?

“one a.m., tonight,” you suddenly leaned in to whisper in his ear. with a start, chuuya realized you were relaying the info you just heard. “they’ll leave for yokohama tower and conduct the trade there. they’ve got a buyer for the information we’re after. about no less than a billion yen, would you believe?” you chuckled.

“good,” chuuya nodded, leading you away to the middle of the dance floor when he felt your grip tighten.

“you’re not thinking of leaving me here, are you?” you narrowed your eyes at him.

“why? so that you can screw me over sooner?” 

“there’s still a few hours until one a.m, it would be strange for us to leave, don’t you think?” you said innocently, smiling when the live orchestra began to play a livelier music piece. “we’ve got time to kill.”

talking to you constantly felt like making deals with a devil. previous experience told chuuya to drop you here right here and now. but the need to be kept on his toes around you was terribly exciting. it was a different kind of rush that chuuya couldn’t get from fighting even the strongest of opponents.

and you were the only one who could give it to him.

chuuya noticed the shift in the music at the same time you did and without warning, moved his hand down to your lower back and dipped you close to the floor. reading his movements, you smirked and wrapped your leg around his as chuuya lowered you.

“good choice, nakahara,” you said, drawing out the syllables of his name and leaning in to whisper in his ear. “it takes two to tango, after all.”

...

years of running into each other in missions and having to fight only made you and chuuya familiar with each other’s movements. when you danced, you were in complete coordination that you didn’t even have to think about where to move your feet. the fact that your faces were partially hidden by masks did nothing to remove the intensity behind your gazes and by the end of the dance, both of you were breathless.

dancing was almost no different from fighting. of course there was movement involved, a whirlwind of limbs but this time with weapons in hand. and then, there was trust involved. but the trust you placed in your dance partner to lead was very different in the trust you placed with a rival who happened to be fighting for your side momentarily.

“well, well, guess we have no choice but to beat all these guys up,” chuuya smirked, shrugging out of his jacket and draping it carefully against the fire exit ladder. he wasn’t sure if he was going to get a chance to fight some people tonight but the chance presented itself when you two barged into the trade-off on top of yokohama tower. 

“i’m sure you enjoy that immensely,” you sighed, eyeing all the mafioso members surrounding boss tanaka that now had you and chuuya surrounded on all sides.

“why, tired?” he taunted you.

“no,” you snorted, taking out your pistol and loading a new magazine. “i just bought this fucking dress.” 

“do you two really think you could get out of this situation?” boss tanaka sneered. you and chuuya broke in right before the trade-off actually happened and he tucked the USB containing the information you two were after into his pocket. maybe he was right to think that, after all he had one of the largest organizations in yokohama second only to the port mafia itself. he dealt in the illegal weapons trade in the city and you could bet that your new client and the port mafia were hoping to take over that. 

but you were a highly-paid mercenary for a reason  and chuuya nakahara was the port mafia’s best fighter. this was child’s play at most.

chuuya rolled up his sleeves and got into his fighting stance beside you. “try not to drag me down, l/n.” 

“speak for yourself, nakahara.” 

and with that, the two of you sprung into action. chuuya, not letting his ability to give an unfair advantage, dodged bullets left and right before sending kick after kick, knocking opponents down to the ground. he easily dodged a punched aimed at his jaw and gripped a man’s arm before throwing him over his back. once he pulled out his knife to use it, he was even more deadly.

as much as he hated to admit it, you caught up with him with easily. you had both pistols out at ready, firing them at your opponents without missing a single shot. your movements were practically seamless, filling in for each other’s blind spots and hitting targets with just the briefest of signals.

at one point, chuuya whirled around to find one of your pistols pointed at him. without a second thought, he moved his head a fraction to the side as a bullet whizzed past his cheek to hit someone behind him.

“that was a bit too close, don’t you think?” he growled at you.

“you really think i’d be dumb enough to kill you with a bullet?” you snorted, walking past him to where boss tanaka now lay on the ground, bleeding from the gunshot wound. 

“im- impossible. those were my best fighters,” he coughed, staring up at you.

“well, rest assured, they did put up a fight,” you smiled sweetly before reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out the USB you were after. “what do you think’s in here?” 

“trade routes, probably,” chuuya said, taking his jacket and slipping into it again before stuffing his hands in his pockets and addressing you. “so, how are we going to do this?” 

“well, i was the one who killed boss tanaka,” you raised your eyebrows at him, tossing the USB up and down in your hand. 

“yeah, but i killed more of his henchmen,” chuuya reasoned.

“those are henchmen. everyone knows it doesn’t end until you take the boss.” 

“any one of those henchmen could have killed you if i hadn’t taken them out first.” 

you sighed. “i really don’t feel like fighting you tonight, nakahara.” 

“let’s just get it over and done with then, l/n,” chuuya cracked his knuckles and before you knew it he had you bent over backwards against the railing of the rooftop with his hand wrapped around your neck. you tried to move but the red glow around chuuya’s body and the heaviness around you suggested that it was futile.

“no... fair... ability,” you choked out. now it was chuuya’s turn to smirk as he had you right where he wanted you.

“l/n, you’re the last person who gets to talk to me about what’s fair,” he said, plucking the USB out of your hand and tucking it into the pocket of his shirt before finally letting you go. you gasped for air, massaging your throat as you glared at chuuya. “that’s what you get for double-crossing me last time.” 

“guess i kinda deserve it after slashing your motorcycle tires,” you laughed. 

“go to hell, l/n.” 

“are you asking me out on a date, nakahara?” 

“you wish.” 

“one last thing,” you sauntered up to chuuya, your bodies as close as they were earlier while dancing. he braced himself for anything else you might pull. you raised a hand and for a moment, chuuya thought you were going to make another grab for the USB, only for you to lean in and plant a kiss on his cheek.

he was beyond surprised and it took all of chuuya’s willpower to appear uninterested when he could feel his cheeks burning from the contact. the amused smile playing on your lips only aggravated him more. 

“the hell was that for?” he scowled.

“just wanted to see how you’d react,” you shrugged nonchalantly, sliding your pistols back into their holsters. “until next time, nakahara,” you waved before stopping by the door that you two came in and looking at him over your shoulder. “maybe sooner than you think.” 

...

chuuya shrugged out of his jacket and took off his mask as soon as he got into his car. it had been a long night, especially after running into you, and he wanted nothing more than to get home, take a long, relaxing shower, and get as much sleep as he could before going to the office later that day. 

but before all of that, chuuya took out the USB that he had spent all night trying to get and opening his laptop to check its contents. however, when he finally opened it to find a single .txt file inside, he knew something was wrong.

“fucking bitch,” he cursed under his breath, realizing that you must have swapped out the actual USB for one that you brought with you when you kissed him earlier. it was even more frustrating when chuuya remembered that he was caught completely off-guard by it. 

after collecting himself, he finally opened the .txt file, even though he knew it would just contain a gloating message from you. but the message was just two words, typed beside what appeared to be your phone number.

chuuya could almost hear your voice as he read it: call me.

▸ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ┈┈┈┈ 🎕 ◂

taglist (check out my post for details on being part of my taglist): @waitforitillwritemywayout @atsumu-brainrot​ @laure-chan @goodfoodxoxoxo ​ @guardianangelswings @ah-kaashi @amberalisa @whootwhoot​ @liz-multifandom-hotel​ @kac-chowsballs​ @violentfarewll​

[angelinthefire]

2, 3, 14, 20, 22 for the writing ask meme :)

Fun meta asks for writers

2 answered here

3) What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

There's two of these, and I have posts about both of them. One is the fic idea where Angel turns Jenny instead of killing her, and she stalks and torments Giles for a while before she's cursed with a soul. I straight-up posted my outline notes, so it also demonstrates my approach to writing. But THE scene in that, that I did write out in full, is one where she's taunting him and he can't kill her. It's the push and pull between love and horror.

The other is a nine-year-old idea for an alternate season 7. The boss leviathan keeps possessing Cas' body throughout the season, and much more monstrous than Dick Roman was. And he's kind of obsessed with Dean, because he has an inflated idea of Dean's objective importance due to learning about him from Cas' mind. And ALSO Cas gets resurrected because he's tethered to Dean's soul. But every time he's resurrected back into the same body that's being occupied by the leviathan, and it keeps killing him. I'm not going to write it because it would by necessity be sprawling. And also the Dean/Cas elements would not cross the line into clear romance, because everything is too awful for everyone to think about it. There's not really one specific scene I'd like to write, but there'd be so many opportunities for some fun intensity and psychological torment. Here is the original post I made about the idea nine years ago.

Both of these are pretty dark, huh.

14) At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

Mid-way through if it's a longer story, at the end if its a short one. I need to get some writing done before the themes really start to develop, and then I can decide what I want the title to focus on. If I even have an idea for the title, lol.

22) Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

Absolutely. There's a couple I wouldn't go back to because the way I think about the characters changed, but in general I really enjoy my own fic, and I wish I could read it without being spoiled, lol.

20) Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Oof this is a tough question because there's so much I could ramble about for so many fics that my mind goes blank.

Okay, one thing that springs to mind, that I'm not sure anyone has noticed, is how the ease with which with Dean tells Cas "I love you" changes over the course of FYPO. When it starts out, he says it quite easily, because he thinks he's just saying it because it's what Cas wants to hear. And as the story progresses, it becomes harder for him. When Dean and Cas have their little island vacation, Dean can't say it, because he would really mean it. So the first time Dean says "I love you" and consciously means it is during the fight he has with Cas. And it's also the first time saying "I love you" doesn't get Cas to stay with him. :)

I want to ramble about IYB too, but I'm afraid of giving away the ending.

thanks for asking!

[queer-as-used-by-tolkien]

Storyline Study: Season 3

The Commander's storyline and actions in S3 are extremely erratic. I'm here to say ArenaNet did this on purpose for the Commander's storyline - which nicely gives lie to the myth that they ignored Trahearne.

The idea? ArenaNet did not ignore Trahearne's death... but all the other NPCs did (or seemed to).

The theory is that the story Anet was trying to tell with the Commander is that they was lonely. The theme of the whole game is unity and working together, and we just had a general all-around fail with that in Maguuma when all the Pact was hostile to sylvari, and so we failed at the Big Message of the game, and that's why we 'lost' (killed Mordremoth, but lost Trahearne). The idea is that this has lasting repercussions, because the Commander was traumatized by Trahearne's death - not just by his death, but by the fact that you were the one to kill him.

And so, you're traumatized, and that continues to have negative impacts on the storyline and the main point of the game for the rest of S3 (and also a significant portion of PoF, but that's a different story).

I think that, all throughout S3, the Commander is feeling lonely. First off, hardly anybody recognizes that Trahearne meant something to you, they're only (at best) concerned about the hole he left in Pact hierarchy. I don't blame General Almorra for this? She lost her warband the same way we lost Trahearne, but she doesn't know we had to kill him. I think, after a year of silence from the Commander, Almorra thought they had handled the grief of Trahearne's death (because she probably WOULD know we were close to him) and didn't want to intrude or anything. She was kind of doing her best, at first, to not explain what was going on internally with the Pact and the Pact's general feelings towards Trahearne, so I think she was trying to respect our feelings because she knows grief. (If at this point, Commander - especially a Vigil Commander - had, say, had a mental breakdown and explained to her what happened, she would be ten times more sympathetic and she might glue us to her side until she was sure we were alright.)

Enough about Almorra. Eir's also dead, Zojja's out of it, Logan decides to become Marshal (betrayal!) and he's also so out of it he's just doing paperwork, Rytlock is called away by Black Citadel superiors, Marjory ignores our pleas to think twice about Lazarus and disappears with him, Caithe got tied down guarding Aurene, Braham yells at us and leaves, Rox goes with Braham so he doesn't do anything too reckless, and it's just all not in control. The Commander literally has a line about this to Taimi: I can't make anyone listen to me, I'm doing bad at being a leader so please listen to me. (I forget if Taimi did or not.) We stare down Anise and help Canach work his way out of his debt to her, and invite him to Dragon's Watch, only for him to say "I've been under someone's yoke for too long" (CLEARLY referencing, not just Anise, but Mordremoth too) and then disappears. Oh, and then Marjory gets deathly wounded and Kasmeer vanishes.

This intense loneliness is all symbolized by the fact that we face down Balthazar, the God of War, and potentially an awake and active Primordus, by our own freaking self in a volcano. Taimi's there for technical support, but she's less of a combat buddy and more of a liability to protect (no offense, Taimi). Commander never faces down bad guys alone. They always has an army (or at least a dedicated group of powerful friends) behind them.

The Commander is so desperate for allies they take a magically binding death-oath to get into the Shining Blade. Exemplar Kerida is snarky and at first Commander doesn't like it, but they warm up soon enough. (Kinda like Canach. "did you singe your eyebrows off?" "eh, they needed a trim." Canach would DIE.) But also the Commander is tested by being promptly confronted with their worst fears and insecurities. But you're willing to do it if it means you'll have companions? And then it's HELPFUL, and all the little things that have been bugging you for the whole Season 3, about Rytlock and Caithe (and she mentions Trahearne) and Braham and Eir and all those things that make you feel like a failure as a leader - you deal with them, you put those demons to bed!

And then, we GO BACK TO ORR.

AND IT IS ALL GREEN AND ALIVE.

AND VERY HEARTBREAKING, THANK YOU. This is also, if memory serves, the same time Anet released the Knight of the Thorn side-story and the statue of Trahearne, and so you're thinking about this already and you're going aahhh this weird statue they don't understand him and also aaahhhhh Ridhais we are twin spirits and then you GO TO ORR.

And there you have a BUNCH of people who understood Trahearne and are working to preserve his legacy and also there is the ghost of King Reza!! And they ask for your help! And you can do your own little part to spread life by killing skelk scavengers or something, and so you help, and this kind of calms you and gives you a sort of communion with the land and the people around you who all understand Trahearne and his goals and his legacy, and this is massively understated in the game but I think it's very healing. You kill some Risen (with Caladbolg!), and so that's a kind of catharsis. You go through the reliquaries of the Six, you discover some things about Orr that Trahearne may or may not have known (I forget if there was maybe dialogue about how the whole place was sort of magically protected from intrusion), and if he did know it then you can know it too and it's a sort of I'm walking in your footsteps Trahearne moment, and if he DIDN'T know it then it's a sort of I won't let Orr die with you, I'll keep it and the memory of it alive and growing for you.

And then you go and punch Lazarus in the face with The Shining Blade and also Exemplar Kerida who is also Livia? And wasn't she a necromancer from GW1 and she stayed alive all this time with the - guess what - Scepter of Orr? (I think?) So we have a snarky, hundreds-of-years-old necromancers with a special Shining Blade (Caladbolg glows, right?) whom Anise defers to and who doesn't mind bossing YOU around like nobody's business. But you fight this Lazarus who was supposed to be dead but he preserved himself inside these aspect things, and Kerida/Livia is about to die and you're panicking like it's going to be Trahearne all over again? But then you DO it, you WIN!

Now, you're still awfully lonely and all your friends are still not around (except Taimi, bless her heart), and you faced the literal last of the mursaat with nothing except you and this snarky menace, but it's a start and and its an improvement and you've got hope again.

So really, the Season 3 storyline is massively about the Commander overcoming grief and guilt and shame regarding Trahearne, and I think Anet did it on purpose. Why did we go to Orr? NO IDEA. Tie-in to Kerida/Livia having the Scepter of Orr, and also for a bit of backstory on Balthazar getting Lyssa's mirror, and of course we do need an update on Orr SOMETIME, yeah, sure sure. Those too. But really I think it was healing for the Commander's poor traumatized brain, but Anet didn't want to say it because of all the haters.

[soliverse]

sugar, sugar - z.cl

reader x chenle

genre: angst, fluff

warnings: a kiss in the cheek, cuss words, pessimism (I think that’s about it? Let me know if I missed something.

word count: 6.2k

part of the Candy Hearts Collab by @127-mile (click the link if you want to read the rest of the collab)

synopsis: Your whole life, especially working for your boss, is a living nightmare. That was until you got some sugar in your life.

inspiration:

Isn’t It Romantic (The film from Netflix by Rebel Wilson),

Sugar, Sugar by the Archies

networks

@nctcreations @kdiarynet @kpopscape @kwritersworld @culture-cafe @neowritingsnet @neoswitchnet @czennienet

February 13,202x / 8:00 AM

It was a quiet and peaceful morning. Which is too bad since that’s not what you’re aiming for.

Your alarm should’ve sounded at 6:00AM. Instead, it woke you up an hour late despite how much fumbling and crying that you did make it work last night.

You have completely ditched breakfast, running as fast as you can to the bus stop that never comes and leave as scheduled.

Already half an hour late, you still sat down that bus seat, fidgeting as if not staying calm on your seat will make the bus ride shorter. Right now, the only thing that you’re still holding on to is that small, sliver of hope that you get there before your boss does.

After climbing down the vehicle, you ran like you’re in a marathon and looked for that one window that your coworker always leaves open whenever you’re late like today. You ungracefully climbed up the window of the storage room and met Jisung, who’s already getting himself ready before opening.

“Is he here yet?”

You whispered as you tried to dust your red shirt and smoothened out your wrinkled uniform. The goal is to make yourself look decent, an attempt that you barely managed to accomplish

“He just came in. Hurry up before he notices.”

You mouthed “Thanks” to Jisung before leaving the storage room and sneak into the main entrance to log yourself in for today.

Your eyes scanned the candy-themed decorations for any signs of life (or danger, in your boss’ case) but he is nowhere to be found. You walked casually towards the main entrance, breathing only a sigh of relief as soon as you get to the front door.

Finally feeling at ease, you pressed your thumb on the device that records your time and gave yourself a mental pat in the back for actually pulling it off. At least, before a hand pops out of nowhere and touched you by shoulder.

You yelped at the surprise appearance of your ever-so-stealthy boss right behind you.

“You’re late again.”

He was staring at you with those black intense eyes and his resting bitch face. His expression always made you worry because there’s no way to actually now if he’s mad or not. You kept your head down and tried to avoid as much eye contact as possible.

“Surprised? I saw your little stunt by the window. You know that it’s right in front of my office, right?”

He patted your shoulder before placing his hands back to his pockets.

“You also know that I’ll be deducting that on your payroll, right?”

“Yes sir.”

He didn’t even let you finish and just turned his back at you, walking towards his office.

“That reminds me. We should bolt that window down before someone else tries to sneak in and steal. Tell Jisung to work on that as soon as possible.”

As soon as he’s out the way, you rolled your eyes and went back to straightening the wrinkles off of your uniform.

“Tell Jisung to work on that as soon as possible.” You said, mimicking him made faces behind his back.

As if Jisung knows how to shut that window properly.

 After that delightful conversation, you helped Jisung in refilling the candy containers, tidied the shop by little bit, and breathe for one final time today before you opened the shop.

Some people may have imagined working on a candy store to be a dream. You get to bask in all of the aesthetics, you get to interact with children every day, and there’s that perk that you get to enjoy an unlimited supply of sweet treats during your shift.

Oh boy, some people couldn’t have been more wrong.

Your location is near an amusement park, which is already hectic as it is, but you also need to deal with stuff that all retail staff goes through.

If you were to make an entire list of the stressful situations that you have to deal with every single shift, it would take you all day.

There are children throwing temper tantrums because their parents refused to buy the candy that the wanted, entitled Karens demanding free candy because you made her baby cry, teenagers who thinks they’re so smart by stealing handful of candies from their containers while you’re distracted. It’s a mess.

And that’s beside your main source of stress. That one is sitting on his office at the back of the store, probably playing some game on his phone while you act as both staff and manager, is the best boss in the world, Mr. Zhong Chenle.

Note the sarcasm.

That guy deserves a whole separate list by himself.

///

So far, the first few hours of your shift went smoothly. There were a few customers here and there but nothing that you and Jisung can’t handle.

All is well. But if you’ve worked retail before, you would know that those words are cursed.

You’ve always had this thing where you’d get a stomachache whenever something bad is about to happen. Ever since that one nice lady earlier told you to keep the change with a very kind smile, your stomach has been grumbling like crazy.

You sneaked into the counter and sat there for a moment to rest. The pain is bearable, but it makes it very hard for you to breathe properly. After taking a few deep breaths, the pain subsided a little bit.

Until, someone wrapped their arms around you, startling you off the chair and had you freefalling straight into your butt.

“I’m not paying you to slack off Y/N. Do something. I don’t know… rearrange the Valentines display. Just don’t sit around while there’s so much stuff to do.”

He dusted his overprized outfit that probably cost more than your wage, even grabbing the hand sanitizer from his pocket, completely acting like you had a contagious virus that.

Fighting the urge to talk back, you just turned around and went back to work.

Someday, I’m going to punch that resting bitch face off his face.

Someday.

You went back and found Jisung painstakingly arranging the M&M piece by piece, arranged by color, size and filling.

The kid makes you worry sometimes.

He’s a good kid but sometimes he can be a bit… clueless?

You remembered the first time that your boss bought a cotton candy machine and asked you and Jisung to figure out how to operate it. He almost left work with nine fingers that day.

“Hey kid. Bossman wants us to change the Valentines display.” You explained as you walk over to the center of the room where the display case is placed.

“Not again. What does he want this time?”

“I don’t know. His only instruction is do something.”

He whined for a bit, but he followed your lead shortly after and started removing all of the candy jars on display one by one.

You started working on it as well, hoping that he (aka the owner) won’t notice that you just switched the glass containers of the candy displays with each other and then placed them back in their original place.

You realized that he probably didn’t know what the display looked like in the first place. It’s just more unnecessary work just to keep you moving.

To pass the boredom, you decided to dote on the kid that is busy making a bouquet of out of rose-shaped lollipops right beside you.

“Sooo…”

You said in a high-pitched voice and tried to lighten up the mood a little.

“Any plans for the V-day?”

He stops for a moment, bowing his head down while he tried to hide his shy smile.

“I’m taking this girl out bowling.”

You squealed and poked his side to tease him. He used to be a little highschool kid that you were told to keep an eye on just in case he accidentally kills himself. It was a headache at first, but he grew on you and now he feels like your honorary little brother.

“Awww. My Jisungie is grown up. It felt like it was just yesterday when I was to trying to teach you to tie your own shoelaces. And now, you’ve got a girlfriend”

“Uhm Y/N. That was yesterday.”

You were about to pinch his cheeks once again when Chenle squeezed himself in between you and Jisung.

“And now you’re flirting. Geez. Do I have to do everything around here?”

Why does this guy keep popping out of nowhere?

He stared you and Jisung down before he slithered back to his office once again. You just stood there in disbelief, shaking your head as you went back to work.

///

The end of the day went by smoothly, which made you worry even more. As you return some of the candy displays back to the stock room, you can’t help but think that today was just the calm before the storm.

Take last year’s Valentines for example.

The shop was stuffed with that a customer fainted because of suffocation. Jisung was bleeding because some guy punched him for flirting with his girlfriend (even though the poor kid is just being nice and gave her one of the extra candy flowers.)

And oh, no dates. While everyone is busy celebrating the love that they will share together you celebrated at the fact that the day is all over.

Ever since you’ve started working at that shop, you’ve never really tried to meet new people. You keep explaining that you’re tired all day. That your job is very demanding time-wise and physically. But in reality, no one just asked you out.

You could’ve quit, but who would take in a highschool graduate without work experience? You’ve barely saved up for a whole college semester, let alone the curriculum. There’s nothing to do besides suck it up.

It’s just one of those things that you stop celebrating as you get older.

Valentine’s day, your birthday, your birthday which is the same day as Valentine’s day.

Sighing, you picked up the stack of empty boxes that you needed to take outside for the garbage truck. Once again, Chenle pops out of nowhere, hitting some of the boxes that tumbled back on the floor. His are arms folded at his chest, sneering because of the mess that he created.

“Will you clean up this mess? It’s almost closing.”

You just pursed your lips, nodding as you stacked the boxes once again, trying very hard not to lose your composure.

“And will you please close the lights outside this time? I doubt that can pay for the damages if this shop burns down.”

Back turned against your employer, you picked up the boxes from the floor. You’re just glad that it is tall enough to cover most of your face. If someone could see your face right now, they would say that it is the face of someone that is about to murder somebody. Which is getting closer and closer to reality every single time Chenle opens his mouth.

Besides, you left one of the lights open one time. His petty ass just can’t seem to live it down.

“I’ll make sure to double check before leaving, sir.”

“Good. Make it quick.”

Holding out the boxes, you figured that he’d at least hold the door out for you. You had that one tiny glimmer of hope that he’s nice after all and you judged him too hastily.

Nope.

He slams the door right behind him and closed the lights from outside.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

You slammed the boxes down to search for the lights and open the door for yourself.

Just one punch. I need just one punch and that’s it. He’s gonna get what’s coming to him.

Scrambling in the dark, you almost faceplanted as you tripped one of the boxes in your way. With your arms stretched out as you feel up your surroundings, it took you a few minutes before you’ve finally managed to open the switch and see the mass that you made while stumbling.

You just facepalmed and stood there for a while, reminding yourself to take deep breaths and calm yourself before you actually burn this place down.

One by one, you stacked the boxes once again in one corner, making sure secure them this time. Keeping the door open, you’ve successfully placed them inside the bins.

One box in particular fell down to the ground. You picked it up to stuff it back to the garbage can but the motion made a rattling noise.

I must’ve missed a piece.

You dusted off the nearby pavement and sat down so you can open the box.

Inside was a few bags of candy, adorned with the usual red and white swirls with the text “Sweet Escape” taking over most of the packaging.

This one must be new.

You stuffed the box back to the garbage can, looked around for signs of a snooping, grumpy adult and placed candy on one of your back pockets.

If your boss found out that you messed up the inventory again, he will not hesitate to fire you. You’re just gonna have to sneak it inside before he gets there tomorrow. Well, assuming that your alarm clock works this time.

///

“Mom, what’s for dinner?”

You closed the door behind you and took off your shoes as entered your living room.

Throwing your keys and jacket aside, you’ve just noticed that the lights are all off and the house is eerily quiet.

You grunted as your sore feet walked itself to the kitchen, only to find a single note on the counter.

Me and your sister went out to eat tonight. Just order something for dinner

Love Mom,

All you ever wanted that night that you just to a nice, warm dinner and go straight to the bed and shut yourself from the world.

Great. No breakfast and dinner.

Fuck my life.

You threw the note in the garbage bin and just stomped your way to your room. You felt like breaking down at that moment but you didn’t have the strength to make cry and make a fuss. Maybe you can just sleep all the frustrations off and feel a lot better tomorrow.

Maybe it doesn’t get much worse than this.

You scoffed.

Sike.

As if.

You slammed yourself to bed but soon realized that it wasn’t a very good idea.

You felt something in your pocket popped and it made a huge mess in your bed. You took it out of the pocket and realized that it was the bag of candy from earlier. The seams popped out and tore open from being squished by a tired, underpaid employee.

At this point, you just glared and cursed yourself once as you cleaned the candy off of your bed. Some of the candy is inside the box, so you cupped your hands and poured the remaining contents to your palms. It was filled with tiny colorful candy hearts, which looked appetizing despite the tiny bits of disfiguration and the fact that it was in your pockets the whole time.

Well, I guess this is dinner then.

You popped the candy in your mouth, letting it sit as it oozes a strong citrusy flavor. It had a texture similar to those fever tablets for kids. In fact, it tasted like medicine a bit, too.

The citrus taste kept on spreading in your mouth and your face now contorted to a grimace. It felt like all moisture is getting sucked out of your body.

They sell this to kids?

You ran to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water to water the taste down. It didn’t do anything, so, you kept on chugging more and more water until you’ve finished an entire gallon of liquids.

You sat down at the kitchen floor and breathe a sigh of relief. The taste finally left your tastebuds, but you can still feel your body feeling repulsed by the extreme sour sugary candies that you just consumed.

Drinking one more glass of water, you went back to your room and changed into your comfortable clothes, finally ready to leave this day behind.

Let’s just hope that those candy bits won’t get you sued tomorrow.

///

February 14,202x / 8:00 AM

The alarm started blaring off from its place, scaring you shitless and making you jump out of bed in panic.

 You could've have been happier and more annoyed at the same time.

You leaned against your bedroom wall, giving yourself a few minutes to calm yourself down before you decided to turn off the alarm.

Once your heartbeat has cooled down, you stepped back to the bedside table and pressed the alarm button to check the time.

8:00AM

"Dammit!”

Your heart started to race once again. This time, it’s the adrenaline rush that’s making you move faster than normal. You even contemplated about getting a shower. However, you're already screwed as it is, you're not going to work without breakfast and shower again.

You stepped back to your room, wrapped on a bathrobe and panting like you just ran a marathon. Digging into your own closet, you noticed that your uniform, a red polo shirt and matching star white pants, is missing from your closet.

"Mom! Have you seen my uniform?"

You shouted from your room but you heard no answer. It seems like they didn't stay the night either.

Great.

Seeing as how your day started, you've deemed the rest of the day unsalvageable and just grabbed the closest thing to red that you have on your closet, which is a red frilly blouse and a white paneled skirt that you've never worn before. It's right at the bottom of your closet, so you've figured you or your mother bought this before and just forgot all about it.

You also grabbed one of your newer shoes to match and bolted to the front door as fast as possible.

You locked the door behind you, only to be spooked as you turned around to see a car parked in your driveway.

It was one of those fancy ones too. The ones that have their doors open at the side like an alien spaceship.

You only know one person in the world that's flashu enough to ride one. And he's just came out of the car.

"Happy birthday! You're pretty early..."

Chenle smiled as jogs over to you, keys jingling on his fingers, and gave you a small peck on the cheek.

You stood there in your porch, frozen.

Zhong Chenle knows how to smile. And he knows about your birthday

"I was about to call you but I didn't want to wake you up. So, I came over instead. Did you eat your breakfast yet?"

You shook your head hesitantly, still unable to speak and process the situation.

"No good, young lady. Go back inside. We're not leaving with an empty stomach."

 ///

 Here's something that you never encounter every day. Your spawn-of-the-devil employer is making you pancakes in the kitchen. And you finally have fresh milk in your fridge.

What happened to the world while you were sleeping?

"I'm not a professional chef but at least it's edible."

He said as he placed a perfectly fine plate full of fluffy pancakes right in front of you. Is this him being cocky?

He sets the apron aside and sat down right in front you, grabbing a plate and a piece of pancake for himself.

"Go on... Tell me if it's good."

You hesitantly took a bite, and then chewed in silence as Chenle expectantly watched you from the side. You set the fork down, speechless.

They're as good on the inside as they looked on the outside.

 "You don't like it?"

He sounded upset. It wasn't like "I can't believe you forgot to do this thing that I told you" upset either. He looked at you with his puppy dog eyes and a bit of a pout.

You froze. What if all of this is trick? And this is just is way of firing you, like letting you down gently in case you formed a vendetta and burn the shop down in your anger.

Which, for the record, is partly true.

"Uhm. It's nice. It's very niceee"

In your panic, you might've overdone the compliment. It sounded like you're on gunpoint and you had to say it to live. Nevertheless, he still smiled to himself and took the compliment well, even pouring you another glass of milk so "it would go down better".

The interaction alone gave you the chills. It felt like you're walking on thin ice and the former Chenle will come out and bury you alive. But even that would've sound more real than what's about to happen next. 

Like the gentleman that he is, he opened the car door for you. You never even got the chance to question where the two of you are going. After sitting down, just when you're about you're about to ask, he held your hand and gave it a kiss.

"You buckled up?"

"Uhm. Yes..."

Still holding your hand, he pressed some buttons on the dashboard and then music started playing. You recognized that it was that song, Sugar Sugar by The Archies. It’s one of the songs that you ironically played in the candy shop. There was also Sugar by Maroon 5, Sugar by Florida.

Well, you get the point.

“Sugar Ah, honey, honey You are my candy girl And you got me wanting you…”

He proceeds to sing along to the song merrily as he backed up your driveway. Meanwhile you sat there quietly as you tried to assess your situation. 

Is this kidnapping? Would it be considered kidnapping if I willingly went inside the vehicle?

Once you’ve realized how ridiculous you sounded in your head, you relaxed for a bit and started humming along to the song. It was at this point that you realized that Chenle had a beautiful voice. The song didn’t have high notes, but it was hard to make your voice pop up with the middle register. It sounded stable, like he’s a recording artist.

The atmosphere at the shop would be much better if he sang like this all the time.

…which reminded you of something that Chenle might be neglecting to think.

Panic washed over you and soon, you can’t keep still and moved around your seat a lot.

“Are you comfortable?

He kept on glancing on your direction, keeping you in check for a few moments while he still kept an eye on the road,

“We can make a quick stop if you need something.”

Trying your best to keep yourself still, you finally sat down and placed both of your hands on your lap, like the kids at school when their parents ask them to behave.

“Where are we going again?”

The question finally popped out and you pursed your lips while trying to wait for the answer.

“I don’t know. It’s your day. We can go wherever you want to.”

“Oh.”

It’s not like him to be away from the shop at this time of the day, let alone the whole day. No matter how sucky he is, he did what is best for the shop. It was his baby.

And if the both of you aren’t going, then it only means one thing. His baby is screwed at the hands of someone.

"By the way, who's taking care of the candy shop?"

You tried to ask nonchalantly, but it only came out sounding more inconspicuous.

"Oh yeah. I left Jisung in charge."

He wistfully replied. Suddenly, you feel your head spinning from your seat from the sheer realization that he left the kid alone, in his shop, with no adult/proper supervision.

"You left Jisung alone... In charge... On Valentine's Day"

You turned your gaze away from him, trying to hide your internal panic. You'll be lucky if the guy made it alive until lunch by himself.

"Relax. He'll be fine. He's with the trainees. Figured it might teach them a thing or two in getting the actual job done."

“And with trainees too… oh my god.”

Great. More casualties.

“You don’t mind if we stopped by the shop first, do you?”

“Of course. You’re the boss.”

///

In a few minutes, he pulls over to the parking lot and you’re glad to see the shop in piece. On the outside at least.

You stepped inside the car and practically ran over to the inside of the shop, leaving Chenle behind.

“Welcome to Sweet Escape, how may I help you?”

Two unknown faces greeted you at the door. They must be the trainees that Chenle talked about earlier.

“Would you happen to know where Jisung is?”

They both nodded and pointed to the direction of the left side of the shop, which was supposed to be all the supplies were. Instead, there was Jisung on the register, which by the way looked different from what you can remember.

In fact, the whole shop looked nothing like it was yesterday. The colors seemed more vibrant and festive and the whole thing looked like a candy wonderland. To be honest, it reminded you of that one Katy Perry music video.

Jisung bowed at you formally and wore his usually customer service smile.

“Welcome to Sweet Escape, how may I—”

“How many fingers do you have now?”

You replayed the question in your head and it sounded just as crazy when it came out of your mouth. At this point, you decided to continue on with the question. For obvious safety reasons.

“Uh ma’am. What do you mean?”

“Hold your fingers up. How many do you have?”

He was hesitant to do as you say. Chenle just facepalmed and gestured him to do as you said, putting up all of his tall fingers in the air.

“Ten?”

You breathe a sigh of relief, almost rushing over to hug the confused Jisung when Chenle pulls you from behind.

“Please excuse her for the moment. She’s feeling a bit under the weather.”

He smiled and bowed to Jisung as an apology, another gesture that you haven’t seen him do before, pulling you outside the store to give you some air. Once you’ve reached the parking lot, he placed his hands on your shoulders to hold you still.

“Okay. Since when is hugging my staff became a thing?”

He stares you down with a genuine concerned look on his face.

He placed one of his hands on your forehead.

“It’s not like you’re sick either…”

Chenle sighs, finally releasing you from his grasp

“Tell me. What’s the problem?”

He sat you down at the pavement and gave you enough space to reflect on your actions.

You had the choice to say that you have absolutely no idea what’s happening to you right now, but you thought that he ought to know why you’re acting that way. Now, you just have to figure out how to explain it to him without sounding like a crazy person.

“I…”

You started slow, working your way into explaining that you woke up into this insane dream about how her boss is suddenly so nice to her that morning.

And then it hit you.

“I had a dream about you...”

Ideas started pouring down to your head, starting to piece together a story that actually made sense.

“And in that dream, you’re this mean guy that never cared about me and other people’s feelings. You just made everyone around you miserable. The dream felt so real so I’m very uncomfortable that you’re acting nice to me now.”

“Is that so?”

You nodded your head as an answer. Chenle pulls you over to a side hug, relief washing over him knowing that it wasn’t that bad as he made it up to be.

“I’m sorry if that mean version of me hurt you.”

He rested his head on your shoulders and pulled you closer to him.

“If I decided to be mean to you in a dream again, feel free to punch me or whatever. I promise to make up for all of it once you wake up.”

It was probably the nicest thing that anyone has said to you in a while. Even though it wasn’t actually him who’s hugging you and making you feel all warm inside, you’re not going to see your boss the same way again.

“You know what, why don’t we start now. There’s plenty of time today to make it up to you.”

He stood up from his seat and brushed himself, helping you do the same right after.

“Where does my y/n want to go right now?”

Your lips formed a mischievous smile.

You knew just where you wanted to go at that moment, but he’s probably not going to like it

///

“Would it hurt you to rest for one second?”

You’ve been running around the theme park for the whole day and Chenle just barely kept up to you and your antics. He gave you a small opportunity for a payback and you’re not going to let it slide. Even if it’s with nice Chenle.

You were about to run off again somewhere when he tugs you by the hem of your shirt.

“Y/N-ah, don’t you feel sick at all?”

Chenle’s eyes droop down as he tried to compose himself. As someone that doesn’t like heights and gets dizzy easily, it seems like he’s about to faint any minute now.

“But I want to ride the Ferris wheel.”

He went sheet white, if that is humanly possible. Chenle had barely enough time to recover from the roller coaster ride a few minutes ago and now you’re already on your way to hop in to another one.”

“Fine. We can rest. I don’t think my ears can handle any more of your screaming.”

You can hear Chenle complaining under his breath. The two of you went to the horror house a while ago and there was a high-pitched screaming the whole time. You’ve been teasing him with it ever since.

“I told you, that wasn’t me!”

“The only person inside is you and me. And I don’t remember screaming my own name for fifteen minutes.”

His mouth opened like he was about to say something, but he stopped midway and just took your hand to drag you at the nearest bench. He sat you down first before he took the seat right next to you, both palms on his face and trying to give himself a moment to breathe.

As much as you wished to torment that guy to death, he really looked sick to his stomach. He can barely lift his head up without taking deep breaths.

“You alright?”

You said as you patted his back gently, giving some time to relax and a moment to breathe.

“I’m fine. I did say that I’ll do anything for you today.”

He takes one last breathe before getting up the bench, only to lean on one side too much and almost toppling over.

“Yeah. I think were done for the day. You can barely stand up.”

You sat him back at the bench and caressed his back to get him to relax. Not even a minute after sitting back down, he did a thumbs up to let you know that he’s doing fine already.

“What time is it?”

“4:30. Why?”

He tried his best to stand up and keep himself still. This time, his attempt was successful.

“I’ll drive you home.”

“Are you sure?”

“You can barely stand up. What makes you think that you can drive?”

“Just trust me.”

///

Sure enough, you both got to your house unscathed.

He told you to step out of the car, which you did, and he smoothly backed the car to your garage.

“How was that?”

He said smugly just as he came out of the car, keys jingling on his fingers once again. You can joke about his motion sickness but you can’t comment on his driving.

Chenle was then about to enter your house, but you stopped him just before he turned the doorknob.

“You know what, I had a lot of fun today. It’s probably the best birthday slash Valentine’s Day that I’ve had a whole life. I think you deserve this…”

You held up your fist into a ball and pretended to land a punch to his face. He winced, which gave you and opportunity to tiptoe and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

He stood there frozen for a few seconds, but it was replaced by a cheeky, boyish smile that he’s been hiding from you the whole time that you know him.

You twisted the doorknob and stepped inside your house first, when a popping sound greeted you from inside.

Turns out, those were party poppers.

“Surprise!”

Your whole family is there, alongside all of your friends from way back highschool.

“Sorry for missing you this morning sweetie, we needed some time for the party preparations. Chenle did a good job of distracting you the whole day.”

An arm wrapped itself on your shoulders and gave it a tight squeeze. It didn’t take long for you to find out who it was.

“She made me ride the roller coaster, twice.”

“Stop being a baby. I asked you the second time but you refused to come with me.”

Laughter fills the room and it went for the rest of the night. The celebration wasn’t fancy but it was enough for you to realize what life you’re missing in the real world. And as much you want to make it longer, sooner or later you’re going to have to come back to your old life.

That time was the next day.

///

February 14,202x again / 6:00 AM

The shrill sounds of the alarm clock woke you up, but you were smiling ear to ear. Something about your dream have placed you in a very good mood. Too bad you can’t remember the specific details. All you know is that there’s a car, the shop, the theme park… Zhong Chenle.

Why would it be a nice dream if your boss was in it?

Before you started conspiring some theories, you shook it off and started to get ready for today. To your surprise, the alarm woke you up on time. This means that you can take your sweet time in getting ready, possibly even make yourself an English breakfast for a change.

Your plans are foiled, however, when you realized that the kitchen wasn’t empty.

“Happy birthday…”

Your mom came from the living room to give you the tightest hug. She hasn’t hugged you like this for a long time, so you reciprocated and pulled her in a tighter embrace.

“I’m sorry that this is all we can afford for now…”

She sits you down the table and pushed the small bento cake right in front you. It is not bigger as your hands, but the pink icing and the decorations looked so delicate and beautiful.

“I promise to make you a better cake next year.”

“This is all I need Mom, thank you for doing this.”

///

Everything is going smoothly today. The bus is on time and the driver even gave you a small Valentine’s card as you went inside. For the first time in your life, you looked at the streets painted different shades of red and you’re perfectly fine with it.

You even got to work early. Doors are still shut down when you got there, so you decided to climb up the storage window so you don’t have to wait outside. As instructed, you finally locked it behind you and made it a point to be on time so you’ll never have to use it again.

You started with work right away, cleaning up as much as you can before everyone gets there. While you were mopping the main shop, you can hear keys jingling from outside, meaning that your boss already got there. The door swings forward and upon turning around, he opened the lights, only to see you standing in the middle of the shop.

He screamed at an ungodly pitch and almost fell down at his place.

“Oh, it’s just you. That wasn’t me, alright? ”

He dusted himself off tried his act together and be as cold as before, only to be embarrassed because you kept laughing at his face.

You tried to keep a straight face and bowed at him to excuse yourself. If your tardiness won’t get you fired today, it would probably be your excessive laughing.

“This is the horror house all over again.”

You swear that you heard him mumble something else, but you weren’t sure if you heard it right.

What are the odds that he dreamt about a horror house too, right?

Before you got the chance to go though, he said something that made your heart race for the rest of the day.

“You were there too, right? I just want you to know that that was really me.”

You turned around to see if he’s joking, but instead found a smiling Chenle at the other end of the shop.

“I actually liked you for a while now. So forgive me for always lashing out on you.”

He placed his hands on his pockets and walked slowly towards you, his head down while he tried to hide his shy smile.

“Happy birthday Y/N. I don’t mind repeating that day again... just don’t make me ride the roller coaster twice this time.”

///

[playernumberv]

Returnal may be the best game I’ll probably end up leaving unfinished

But wait, I hear my imaginary audience ask - if a game is that good, how and why would I possibly leave it unfinished? And indeed, when I leave a game unfinished, it’s usually because I don’t have much good to say about it, and no longer deem it worthy of my time. I left Assassin’s Creed Valhalla unfinished after 30 hours in it, for example, because it just kept dragging on and on and on and I just got incredibly bored. That’s not the case with Returnal at all. 

In what has been for me a relatively lull year in games (with nothing having reached my personal standard for being a GOTY contender yet), Returnal has been the most compelling and fascinating title I’ve played. It is just utterly stellar. I love how intriguing the sci-fi psychological horror/thriller setting is, and while sparse, the little narrative there is compels me to want to find out more about Atropos and Selene. The third-person shooter combat is visceral and fluid, and is a mad rush of pure adrenaline and exhilaration that is complemented by an overwhelming smorgasbord of eye-melting visual effects. Audio design can only be described as majestic, with thunderous combat soundtracks that catalyze the already sky-high intensity of the game’s combat, and the deafening roar of enemy cries truly tear right into you, making you feel as if you were truly confronted by terrifying alien monstrosities. Level design and art design are similarly masterful, creating an alien world that genuinely feels alive and horrifying. And have I mentioned how indescribably good the dualsense implementation is? You can feel the pitter-patter of raindrops; you can feel the kinetic rush of dashing; you can feel the recoil of gunfire. If Astro’s Playroom was a technical demonstration of what the dualsense could be capable of, Returnal is an applied demonstration of how the dualsense can truly elevate gaming experiences. Every aspect of this game comes together and just oozes an unprecedented level of quality in the level of immersion it achieves - it bombards you with near-endless bursts of visual, auditory, as well as sensory feedback, and in so doing creates a truly next-gen gaming experience that feels extremely immersive. Short of VR experiences, I daresay no other game has ever come close to such an immaculate level of immersion, so much so that can say unironically that the game actually makes me feel like I’m stranded on an alien world.

Again I hear my imaginary audience ask - this makes no damn sense, if Returnal is as magnificent as I claim it to be, why would I leave it unfinished?

And to that, my answer is this: Returnal is simply far too punishing and inaccessible. For a working adult who—I’m ashamed to say, despite my immense love of games—isn’t especially skilled at gaming and who has relatively limited time and energy for gaming, Returnal simply demands far too much. It’s utterly soul-crushing. To begin with, I am not a fan of the repetitiveness of roguelikes, and even a roguelike as polished and well-designed as Hades did not especially impress me, as I mentioned in my earlier review of it. Yet Hades’ roguelike is, ironically enough, heavenly compared to the genuine hellishness of Returnal’s roguelike, where permanent upgrades are extremely scarce to the point of being nearly non-existent. Virtually everything resets with each death. Your weapons: gone, reduced to ashes. Your suit upgrades, health upgrades, all gone. And that may have been fine were the game itself not nail-bitingly hard—it’s not uncommon at all to have to spend an hour or even more on preparation, only for one small mistake to be severely punished before you even manage to reach the boss, and to have to restart from zero all over again. Furthermore, as is standard of the roguelike genre, there is a fair bit of randomness—and so how successful each run is may in part be determined by whether you luck out on obtaining the desired suit upgrades or your desired weapon. This randomness further compounds the amount of time that needs to be spent on preparing, failing, being unlucky, and trying all over again. That may have been fine once in a while, but repeat this cycle enough times, and Returnal becomes a miserable punishment. It’s utterly soul-crushing to have to waste hours on preparation, only to fail and have all the preparation completely reduced to nothing. And this isn’t even accounting for how gruellingly tough the boss fights can be. Returnal makes you squander hours upon hours—it severely punishes failure, to the point where its rewards, majestic though they are, become overshadowed by its punishment.

Yes, yes, I can already hear a portion of my imaginary audience chanting. ‘GIT GUD’, they say, and I don’t deny at all that I am not good at Returnal. But I am certain that there are other gamers, who like me, do not play games to be punished, challenged, and pushed to our limits—we play games for entertainment, for relaxation, and for escapism from the stresses and difficulties of the real world, something that may be especially important in the broken, pandemic-stricken world we live in currently. Returnal is the utter opposite of relaxation, and if a (mostly) healthy, able-bodied person like me finds it inaccessible, I imagine it to be even more so for a huge proportion of others out there. To be fair, I hesitate to call any of this a ‘flaw’ on the part of Returnal, and I do understand the sentiments of the ‘git gud’ crowd—there’s a strong charm to Returnal’s unflinching adherence to its vision, and its insistence on having an identity of relentlessness and challenge is in its own way very respectable and charismatic. I also do understand the immense elation and satisfaction of surmounting a seemingly-impossible challenge—beating the bosses of the first and second biomes of Returnal filled me with a raw euphoria no game has given me in ages. In part, having no recourse towards an easier way out is part of this charm. Knowing that one cannot simply choose an easier option, for there is none, truly does magnify the immense satisfaction of conquering a challenge.

With all that being said, I cannot help but think that sacrificing a small part of that charisma and charm in the noble pursuit of accessibility is a worthy cost. This need not even involve sacrificing the roguelike genre in favour of a more generic third-person action-adventure style of gameplay—although admittedly, given my general disdain for roguelikes, this would probably have been a better fit for me. I do have to say that the roguelike genre is perfect for Returnal. Its central narrative theme of being stranded on an alien planet where the main character returns by death—wait, wrong series—provides perfect ludonarrative harmony when melded with the roguelike genre, and this harmonious complementation between game-play and narrative is truly brilliant. Even maintaining its roguelike genre, I sincerely believe that Returnal could have been made to be substantially more accessible and less punishing, and to shift the mechanics away from randomness and towards granting more player control. Having difficulty options provide a convenient way to accomplish this, but I do believe the roguelike itself could also learn a number of lessons from Hades. For example, even maintaining its present difficulty levels, a larger number of permanent upgrades would go an incredibly long way in making Returnal’s roguelike far more meaningful and palatable. More forms of permanent suit or health upgrades, as well as more permanent weapons—being stuck with only a pistol at the start of every run is extremely unwelcome—would be immensely appreciable as well. Implementing these changes would indeed compromise some of Returnal’s unflinching and unrelenting vision. But would it not be a worthy trade-off if a greater number of people can experience the utter majesty of what Housemarque has accomplished here in terms of audio design, game design, art design, and narrative?

I truly am impressed by Returnal, and when awards season comes by at the end of the year, I think it unquestionably deserves every accolade it will almost surely obtain, be it in audio, narrative, or gameplay. It is the best game I’ve played this entire year so far, and even as I type this, I feel a rush of sheer awe at just how unbelievably excellent Returnal is. Unfortunately, my affections for Returnal feel unrequited. My circumstances and my relative incompetence as a gamer make it near-impossible for me to ever experience in full all that Returnal has to offer, despite my great desire to be able to. So, it seems, despite my deep affections for Returnal, I may never finish it, and I will think back to this years later with deep regret, wishing that I were in more suitable circumstances, wishing that I were a better gamer, and wishing that Returnal could have been more accessible. Alas, these wishes were not to be.