#WHEN WILL MY MASTERMIND BE ABLE TO ADVANCE TO THIS BEAUTY

[recurring-polynya]

I know I missed Renji's birthday but if you ever have time, I would absolutely love to see anything about Renji and Orihime's friendship. I always headcanon him as her no.1 weird bakery experiment supporter, but really anything would be great! They just seem like they would be each other's go-to supports and I would love to see your take on them!

Anon, I have no excuse for why this took so long! RenHime BroTP is one of my very favorite things, but I managed to draw a huge blank on this and then I went through two concepts that didn’t work before I managed to hit on one that did. (Also, I did write two other Renji & Orihime stories in the Time of Many Drabbles, one where they make a cake and one where they act out Orihime’s fanfic)

Anyway, I love the Advance Team Arc, please enjoy this Advance Team Arc story about Renji and Orihime trying to cheer Rukia up by going thrifting, ft. the all-time greatest Renji clothing item.

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Orihime was headed outside for lunch, thinking longingly about her curry tuna fish sandwich, when a low, gravelly voice stopped her in her tracks.

“Oi, Inoue. You gotta moment?”

Abarai was leaning up against the wall of the school, his eyes scanning the school yard like he was waiting for a brawl to break out. Abarai reminded Orihime a lot of a guy in a prison movie. Not the guy that masterminded the prison break, but the guy who had the whole prison figured out and knew how to get illicit goods and would help the main guy escape even though they were sort of frenemies. Orihime found him a little bit scary, but in a cool way. They probably didn’t have motorcycles in Soul Society, but if they did, Orihime would bet money that Abarai would ride one.

“Sure!” she announced eagerly, and followed in his shadow as he silently rounded the corner of the building. He moved very quietly for such a big person, unlike Ichigo and Chad, who crashed and thumped wherever they went, especially when they went somewhere together.

“I gotta problem and I’m hopin’ you’ll be able to help me out a little.” Abarai shifted his shoulders a little, obviously uncomfortable in his school uniform.

Orihime knew all about the stresses of the undercover lifestyle. Clearly, he needed someone for an inside job, someone who knew all the subtleties of living a normal human existence. Fortunately for him, Orihime had been a normal human almost her entire life. “How can I be of assistance, Lieutenant Abarai?” she barked.

Abarai blinked at her. “Er. It’s not really mission-related. I need, um, some advice, I guess.”

Orihime set her jaw and tightened her fists. “I am short on life experience, but I have read many magazines. Ask me anything.”

Abarai waved his hands. “No! No! Look, you’re friends with Rukia, right?”

“Yes!” Orihime agreed. That was an easy one.

Abarai nodded quickly, happy to have found some firm footing at last. “The thing is, she’s been taking Ichigo’s vanishing act kinda hard.”

Orihime gave a tiny nod, her fingernails digging into her palms. The truth was, there was a dull, Ichigo-sized ache in her own heart, as well. She couldn’t stop wondering where he was and what he was up to and if he was getting good hearty lunches. She imagined it must be a thousand times worse for Rukia who had come all the way from Soul Society to just to see him.

“She gets real crabby when she’s worried,” Abarai continued on, continuing to scan the grounds, presumably for lurking Rukias. “She’s been getting on me for not having enough spare clothes for my gigai. I wouldn’t usually let her boss me around like this, but I thought it would make her feel better so I told her we could go, ah, shopping.”

“Oh, that’s so nice!” cried Orihime.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m a prince. But here’s the thing: Even though Captain Hitsugaya outranks me, I am technically the mission manager, which means I’m in charge of the budget, and I’d really, really like to come out in the black. Matsumoto already conned me out of a significant portion of the petty cash. I don’t think Rukia has a real good handle on human money and I sure as hell don’t. I told Rukia that we should ask one of her friends to come along and she said she’d ask you, and I just was hoping you could help me keep things, y’know, frugal, without making a big deal about it.”

Abarai looked a little sheepish even asking. Orihime remembered the size of Rukia’s house back in Soul Society, the beautiful kimono she had worn once she was no longer a criminal. Orihime knew all about having friends who had more money than you. Her resolve hardened and slammed her fist into her open palm. “A strict budget is no reason not to look your best!” she announced. “You have come to the right person, Lieutenant Abarai! I, Inoue Orihime, Thrifting Champion of Karakura, will help you out!”

Abarai’s face washed over with relief, followed very quickly by confusion. “The what champion?” he echoed.

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“You are a saint, Orihime!” Rukia declared as they marched down the street, arm in arm, Renji trailing grumpily a few paces behind, his hands stuffed in his pockets. “A gem! I offered to borrow something from Ichigo’s father for him, but this ingrate was having none of it.”

There was some low-pitched muttering from behind them.

Orihime was trying to picture Renji in the pink, ruffled tuxedo shirt Dr. Kurosaki had worn under his lab coat the last time he set Tatsuki’s sprained ankle. “I don’t think Dr. Kurosaki’s style would be quite right for him,” she suggested diplomatically. “I… guess… he’s supposed to be a teenager?”

Rukia heaved a sigh. “I suppose you’re correct, as usual.” She craned her head back over her shoulder for a moment. “You owe Orihime an ice cream for this, Lieutenant Hopeless!” She swung her head forward again with a huff. Renji shot Orihime a wink.

Orihime couldn’t quite figure out Rukia and Renji’s exact relationship. Rukia has described Renji as “her friend.” On one hand, she hadn’t said about the shinigami from Ten or Eleven. On the other, she called Renji a lot of rude names and harangued him a lot. Renji had seemed pretty concerned about Rukia when he had pulled Orihime aside that afternoon, but now he was all slouches and scrunchy eyebrows. He reminded Orihime of Ichigo.

Oh! Maybe there was something to that! Maybe Renji was being a grouch on purpose so that Rukia could yell at him and feel like she was yelling at Ichigo. Wow! That was some master-level friendship. Orihime wondered if she should be taking notes.

“Ah, here we are!” she exclaimed, pointing at a little, tucked away shop front.

“What sort of shop is this?” Rukia frowned, examining the cluttered store window.

“It’s a thrift store,” Orihime explained. “People sell old, but well-made clothes to the shop, and they resell them for much cheaper than new clothes. Sometimes you can find really neat vintage, designer things that a rich person only wore a few times and decided they didn’t want. Uryuu likes to look for really ugly things made from nice fabrics and then re-tailor them. I have to modify a lot of my clothes, too, because of-- well, you know.” She gestured vaguely at her chest.

“What a brilliant idea!” Rukia proclaimed. “That’s so practical! Renji, isn’t Orihime a genius?”

“I didn’t come up with the idea,” Orihime mumbled self-consciously.

“Maybe you should open a shop to sell off your brother’s spare kimono,” Renji suggested airily. He was definitely baiting Rukia now, Orihime could see it when she watched for it.

“I should!” Rukia declared, closing her eyes haughtily. “People would probably pay twice just because he wore them!”

Renji just snorted.

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“How about these?” Rukia asked, holding up a pair of jeans. “They look like the kind Ichigo wears.”

Orihime pulled her head out of the rack of pants she was sorting through, and Renji’s head popped up from the next aisle. “Hmm,” she said, tapping her finger on her lips. She knew what she wanted to say, but she didn’t want to make Renji feel self-conscious by talking about his body and also, she didn’t want to make it obvious how much time she’d spent looking at Kurosaki’s butt. “Those are skinny jeans. Abarai is a lot, um, more muscular? than Kurosaki-kun? He would do better with a straight leg cut, I think.” She wished Uryuu were here. She didn’t know that much about men’s clothes, but she had heard him say that once while lamenting Chad’s tragic commitment to bootleg cuts.

Apparently, Rukia had no such qualms about Renji’s positive body image. “Hear that, Thunder Thighs? This is where all those squats get you.”

If this bothered Renji, he didn’t let it show. “My thighs are majestic, Rukia. Some people enjoy a guy with a little meat on his bones, for your information.”

Rukia laughed then, a sharp, amused guffaw, almost a cackle. Orihime looked up suddenly. She was sure she’d heard Rukia laugh before, but it had been a high-pitched giggle, a girlish titter. There was a gleam in the shorter woman’s eyes, and at first, Orihime thought she was being mean to Abarai, but when she glanced at him, his eyes were twinkling and he had a slight smile on his face.

Orihime got the sudden sense that she was interrupting something, although she wasn’t sure how you could interrupt someone making fun of someone else. She ducked her head and focused on rifling through the rack of pants in front of her. “How about these?” she asked, holding up a likely candidate.

“Those look pretty worn out,” Renji frowned.

“They’re distressed, Renji,” Rukia explained pompously. “It’s human fashion. They come that way. It presents the illusion of leading a rough and tough, adventurous lifestyle, even for fancy boys like you.”

“Rukia,” Renji scolded her. “Members of the Sixth Company do not walk around with their knees on display, for anyone to see.”

Rukia snorted, and Orihime suspected they were making yet another inside joke. “How’s he gonna find out? And if he does, you can just tell him you fell down the stairs, he would definitely believe that.”

“Er, here’s another pair without any holes,” Orihime offered. “They’re black.” Uryuu also had a lot of opinions on black jeans, but she was pretty sure Renji could pull them off.

“Thank you, Inoue,” Renji said, extra-graciously, reaching over the rack to accept them.

“You better try them both on!” Rukia yelled in her bossy voice. “I demand to see the forbidden knees!”

“Whatever, you’ve seen ‘em, before,” Renji muttered, but he was still smiling.

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“Hey, Inoue!”

Orihime ducked past a rack of sweatervests, to where Renji was contemplating a leather jacket.

“Do humans still wear stuff like this? I know they were pretty popular a few decades ago.”

“Oh, yes,” Orihime agreed. “It’s a timeless look.”

Renji looked mildly shocked, but happy.

“That’s a really nice one,” Orihime added. “You should try it on.”

Renji didn’t seem like he needed a lot of encouragement to slip it over his shoulders. “I had a roommate who had one of these,” he admitted. “They look pretty dumb over a shihakushou, but Iba has never once let looking like a moron slow him down.” He grinned. “I was jealous as hell of it.”

Orihime clapped her hands. “Oh, Abarai, it looks so good on you!” It wasn’t even an exaggeration. It was black, a classic motorcycle cut, and it fit him perfectly. Orihime amended her mental movie casting of Renji: in a jacket like that, he could definitely be the protagonist of an American motorcycle movie, flicking cigarettes into the gutter and leaving a broken-hearted girl pining after him after he got run out of town for Raising Too Much Hell.

“Is it expensive?” Renji asked, holding out the sleeve with the price tag. “I don’t know what a jacket is supposed to cost.”

“It’s a very practical wardrobe staple,” Orihime advised. “Especially this time of year. It’s just starting to be jacket weather, and this will carry you through until winter, unless we have an especially cold one.” She checked the tag. “Leather jackets aren’t cheap, but this is a very good value. If you can afford it, I think it’s worth it.”

“I think I can make it work,” Renji murmured, obviously doing a bit of mental math.

“Hey, Abarai,” Orihime said, leaning forward, and keeping her voice low.

“Eh?”

“Is it going the way you planned? Do you think we’re cheering Rukia up?”

Renji opened his mouth and then closed it again. “I think we at least took her mind off him for a bit. What do you think?”

Orihime contemplated. “She seems like she’s having a good time. I think she liked looking at your butt when you were trying on pants.” Renji raised a skeptical eyebrow. To be fair, Abarai had a very nice butt. Orihime was pretty sure she still preferred Kurosaki’s butt, but it hadn’t exactly been a trial. “On the other hand, she does yell at you a lot,” Orihime said quickly. “She’s very difficult to read.”

“Yeah, I know. It takes some practice,” Renji replied. “And she hasn’t been yelling at me. You haven’t begun to see Rukia yelling at me.” He rubbed his chin. “I think we’re doing a good job. Thanks, Inoue! I couldn’t have pulled this off on my own.”

Orihime blushed. “Oh, I haven’t really done anything!”

“I think you und--”

Orihime never found out what Renji was going to say, because Rukia came skidding into the coat aisle. She was wearing a denim vest, a feather boa, and a cowboy hat, and clutching something in her hands. “Hey! Hey, Renji! Renji, I just fou...nd…” She trailed off as her eyes scanned Abarai up and down, lingering on the leather jacket. Her mouth dropped open a little.

Orihime’s eyes darted to Renji, who looked paralyzed by this development. His hand went to his hair self-consciously, his fingers getting caught in his bandana awkwardly.

If Orihime had felt like a third wheel up until this point, she realized that sometimes bicycles can be very hard to ride if you aren’t used to them, and third wheels are helpful when you’re in danger of tipping over and crashing. “Rukia, look at the jacket Renji found! He’s being waffley! Help me convince him to get it!”

Rukia came back to herself suddenly. “It fits you perfectly, you fool! Listen to Orihime.”

“I dunno,” Renji drawled, having pulled his act together as well. “It’s kinda expensive.” He started to grab another coat off the rack. It was tweed and had elbow patches. “Might keep looking for a bit.”

“No!” Rukia commanded, and Renji’s hand reflexively dropped the hanger like he’d just touched something hot. Rukia cleared her throat self-consciously. “Speaking of things that are non-negotiable, look what I found for you!!” With a flourish, she unfurled the bundle in her hands, which happened to be a t-shirt.

At first, Orihime had no idea what she was looking at. Obviously, it was a t-shirt. If she had to guess, it had been printed by a garage band full of teens that played a lot of covers and had to bum rides to their gigs. There was a drippy looking skull and some words in English. It was objectively terrible. But in a charming way.

“I love it!” Renji shouted, with far too much enthusiasm. “I don’t read English very well, though, what does it say?”

“I don’t either,” Rukia admitted. “I think this says ‘red’, though.”

“It says ‘red pineapple,’” Orihime supplied. They had just finished the unit on fruits and vegetables in English class. She had gotten a 100 on the test.

Renji and Rukia both burst into gales of laughter.

“How much is it?” Renji wheezed. “I’ll pay a million kan for it.”

“They use yen here, you buffoon,” Rukia gasped. “It’s got an orange sticker, what does that mean?”

“That means it’s on special clearance,” Orihime explained, scanning the chart hung on the wall. “100 yen.”

“Ha, ha, that’s cheap! It’s mine!”

“You were skeptical,” Rukia lectured, wagging a finger, “But I told you, didn’t I, Renji? Orihime knows what she’s doing.”

Renji wiped a tear away from his eye. “Double ice cream for Orihime,” he agreed. “What would we do without her?”

Orihime’s face felt very hot. She waved her hands frantically. “Really, I didn’t--!”

“Also, remind me what ice cream is again.”

“You dummy!”

Orihime stopped protesting. Anyone who didn’t know what ice cream was definitely needed her help.

[arknights-imagines]

Hello!! I just recently discovered your blog and I'm so glad I did! Your writing is so sweet 😭💕 This was reblogged a while ago, but if it's still okay, can I get the sentence starter "Well, hello sleeping beauty. You fell asleep on me.” with Silverash? Thank you so much in advance! I look forward to reading more of your writing 💖

Since these two are the same thing, I'm replying to them both with this imagine! ✨ I'm not sure if this is the same anon or two different ones, but either way tysm for the request and your nice messages 🥺 I hope you enjoy! 🌸

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“ well , hello sleeping beauty . you fell asleep on me . ” with SilverAsh

Imagine format; no real fixed perspectives, it switches from Doctor and SilverAsh!

Contains: SilverAsh, gender neutral Doctor, Implied established relationship, and Doctor being gentle with SilverAsh 🥺

Word count: just about 1.6k

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SilverAsh was quite the busy man; that was obvious to pretty much anybody. Between Karlan Trade Co., Rhodes Island, his affairs in Kjerag and other smaller occasions that called for his attendance, the Feline cherished any free time he had.

Usually, this free time was at night. But even so, he would use some time for leisure, but still left enough hours for enough sleep. Today was different, however.

SilverAsh, unfortunately, had business to attend to at night. Instead of reading or resting that evening, the Feline had sat in a Rhodes Island meeting room attending to conditions and contracts regarding Karlan Trade Co.; what was even less fortunate is that he wasn't able to go back to his room until past midnight.

He didn't get much sleep - his limbs ached from sitting in that dreaded meeting room for hours, and as soon as he finally began getting comfortable, the sun was up.

As much as he wanted to curl up under his covers and hide from the rest of the world, SilverAsh had responsibilities. In fact, he had business to attend to with the Doctor that morning.

At least, he figured, he'd get to see them. The Feline was sure he'd feel better once he saw them.

So, after dressing and washing up a little, SilverAsh left the comfort of his room, albeit it a little unwillingly, and began making it down to the Doctor's office. When he arrived, they beckoned him in with a smile, gathering some papers in their arms.

"Good morning SilverAsh!" Their voice energetic, they gave the Feline a small wave. Managing them a smile while biting back a yawn, SilverAsh walked over to plant a small kiss on the crown on their head, "Good morning, my dear. We have things to discuss today, if I'm not mistaken."

They nodded, "You're a bit late, but I was just on my way out. Follow me!" Grabbing one last paper from their desk, the Doctor headed past SilverAsh and toward the door. The Feline hid a small sigh, stretching out his stiff arms a little before turning around to catch up to the Doctor.

He never thought he'd find just walking so tiring, but by the time they got to the room they needed to be in, SilverAsh just felt more drained than he already was. He put that aside however; he needed to help the Doctor.

The Doctor needed the Feline for his input on a battle formation, which was nothing out of the ordinary. What was odd, however, was the fact that SilverAsh seemed noticeably tired; the Doctor needed both hands to count how many times he had yawned or stretched in the last 15 minutes. It wasn't their business, however - everyone got tired every now and then, especially the Doctor themselves, but it was a little odd to see SilverAsh act so drowsy. They were a little worried about his well being was all.

The pair was sat on the small lounge couch in the meeting room, papers and folders on the small table before them. Throwing around ideas and adjustments to the formations they were looking over, the air was comfortable as usual. When it was just them, like it was then, there was no need for formalities or an uptight attitude.

The Doctor stopped asking their questions for a second, blinking a little at the Feline sitting beside them. Watching as he stifled another small yawn, they hesitantly placed a hand to his shoulder, shaking just slightly. Their voice came concerned, "Are you alright?", but SilverAsh replied with a shake of his head, "Of course, don't worry about myself. Now, regarding this formation…"

He was quick to steer their conversation back to the formations, but the Doctor didn't miss the slight slump of his shoulders or how he'd close his eyes for a few seconds. They discussed plans and looked over papers for a little while longer; after some time, the Doctor cleared their throat, standing up. "I'm going to get something to drink. Would you like anything?" Rubbing at his eyes discreetly, the Feline nodded, "I suppose I will have a cup of whatever you are having to drink, my dear."

Smiling at him and stopping to pat his shoulder, they left the room to retrieve the drinks in question. Once they did, the room was quiet, much too quiet. Without the Doctor: their voice, their shuffling of the papers on the table, them mumbling to themselves under their breath - there wasn't any noise for him to focus on.

As expected, tiredness came over SilverAsh, like a heavy, warm blanket that he couldn't refuse. The Feline scrunched his nose up a little, rubbing at his eyes again in an attempt to wake himself up. There wasn't much use, however. The longer he sat in the quiet room on the comfortable lounge couch, the more heavy his eyelids felt.

What was the point in fighting an enemy he couldn't even grab hold of? His tiredness could only be solved one way - SilverAsh figured a few moments of shut eye wouldn't hurt. So, that's what he did; the Feline sank into the cushions of the couch, trying to get as comfortable as possible in his seated position, before closing his eyes for what he assured himself would only be a few minutes.

However, when the Doctor returned, he didn't wake up. In fact, when they had returned to the room with two cups in hand, they headed towards SilverAsh only to find him completely asleep.

The Doctor blinked at him for a second; he was out like a light: his head was tilted down and his shoulders were slumped over slightly. His arms laid crossed over his chest, and his fluffy tail was curled up with its tip under his nose, covering the lower half of his face.

"....Enciodas?" Using his real name, the Doctor whispered quietly, placing the cups down on the coffee table before peering down to get a better look at his face.

The Feline didn't reply, all that was coming from him was soft snores and calm, steady breaths. The Doctor sighed, smiling lightly at his peaceful facial expression. "You should've said you were tired…" They mumbled, carefully tucking some hair from SilverAsh's eyes.

Carefully as not to wake him, the Doctor sat themselves beside the Feline. Drinks completely forgotten, they carefully moved his head to their lap, lying him down slowly. Once he was laid down, they smiled, allowing him to shift for a few seconds, their grin growing at the small mumbles that came from him before he relaxed.

One of the Doctor's hands rested in his hair, combing the strands gently, while the other gathered the papers on the table in front of them, stacking them and placing them aside. They had done enough work for that day, the most they could do was clean up while SilverAsh slept.

Finished with the papers, the Doctor turned all their attention to the Feline who had his head laid in their lap. They had always been told that SilverAsh was a man with shrewd intentions that would go to any lengths to get what he wanted, but they couldn't understand such a perspective when the man in question was fast asleep using their lap as a pillow.

One could say that SilverAsh had ulterior motives driving his care and affection toward the Doctor, but they knew that wasn't true.

'...how can everyone make you out to be someone like that?', They always thought about that. Evil intentions - they never saw anything even close when looking at SilverAsh. He wasn't perfect, but he wasn't a cold hearted malicious mastermind either.

"Hmm…" A small noise caused the Doctor to snap from their thoughts, and they looked to their lap to find SilverAsh opening his eyes slowly. They greeted him with a small smile, eyes meeting his as they blinked with a bit of surprise.

Unable to contain themselves, the Doctor spoke in a light, teasing tone, "Well, hello sleeping beauty. You fell asleep on me." SilverAsh's eyebrows lifted - he hadn't meant to fall completely asleep. Sighing lightly, he tilted his head to look up at them, "My apologies, my dear…I'm more tired than I thought." His voice was indeed still a little groggy, and his eyes looked like they were threatening to close.

The Doctor smiled, "Don't worry, Enciodas. We can continue working some other time, I think you've done enough for today." Petting his hair softly, their heart swelled when SilverAsh leaned into their touch, "Would you please…let me rest for just a while?"

They chimed with a light laugh, nodding at him, "Go back to sleep. I'll be here whenever you need me." The Feline gave them a lopsided smile, yawning, "Hah…acknowledged…" With that, he was fast asleep again, eyes shut peacefully.

The Doctor was unable to hold back their smile. They knew the right thing to do was to send SilverAsh to his room and complete the work they needed to attend to with someone else, but such actions were out of the question with the Feline sleeping in their lap so calmly.

No, they never saw shrewd intent in him. From the day they met, the Doctor could only ever recall him allowing them to lean on him for support when needed; he wasn't the warmest, but he was always sincere around them - there were no evil motives in the warm he showed them.

Leaning down to leave a light kiss on his forehead, the Doctor spoke one last whisper, "You can always rest on me, Enciodas."

In their world, there were so few things to show warmth to, and SilverAsh was a man who had lost many things, and was bound to lose more. But, even if he had nothing else, the Doctor hoped he knew that he would always have them.

[ghostgirl19posts]

Hey ghostgirl, Can you tell me how you wanted to end The Knight and the Scarf? I love this story! Love,

The Knight and the Scarf is always in the back of my mind. It’s the only ladybug story I semi-care about enough to want to finish lol. But it’s not on my list of priorities, so who knows when, if ever, it will get done. So, I might as well say what I planned to happen xD

Buckle up, kid, because this is gonna be long.

...

We left off at Adrien going to war, giving a dagger to Marinette as in case she needs to defend herself when Luka’s not around/incapacitated, and unofficially appointing Luka to guard her in his place. 

There would’ve been a time skip of about 2/3 months with Marinette living normally for the most part, but she misses and worries about Adrien everyday. Luka is doing a good job as her unofficial bodyguard, since he’s following through with what Adrien taught him. Like taste-testing her food, checking around corners, etc.

Then one day a message comes. Adrien’s battalion has been attacked and there were no survivors. Another battalion ended up finding the wreckage and wrote to let the King and Queen know. Since the entire force was decimated, with no evidence of survivors, Adrien’s name is added along with all the others of his squadron on the list of deaths. Marinette is devastated of course, Luka comforts her as best he can while fighting back his own sadness. He wanted Adrien out of his way, but not like this. Also by this point, he’s accepted that he and Marinette just weren’t meant to be.

The chapter ends with a man waking up in a dark, cold place. His body feels sore all over from sleeping on the stone ground with nothing but a thin blanket and some hay for a cushion. As he wakes up, he hears a voice.

“Finally awake, kid? Good, it’s about time.”

The next chapter it’s revealed that Adrien is not dead, rather, he was knocked out in the attack and brought to the enemy king’s dungeon as a prisoner. He meets Plagg, his cellmate, and the two form a not-quite-friends bond mixed with a definitely-allies bond. 

Lila starts meeting with Adrien in his cell trying to seduce him. It’s revealed that yes, she put the sleeping drug in Marinette’s tea all that time ago. Of course, given this and the fact he’s in love with Marinette, Adrien refuses all her advances. However, she’s not a quitter and keeps trying everyday. 

Eventually, Plagg asks why Adrien keeps turning her down. If Adrien reciprocated her advances, he’d more than likely be let out of their prison and able to live comfortably in the castle as Lila’s lover, as Lila is a spy/conspirator for the king. After some prodding, Adrien admits that there’s someone else he’s in love with. After yet more prodding from Plagg, Adrien reluctantly tells him that he loves Marinette, the princess of the country that their keepers are at war with.

Plagg accepts this, and comes up with a plan. He wants Adrien to give in to Lila’s advances and return her affections. Adrien protests of course, until Plagg fills him in on his crucial role in the plan. Though Adrien feels like he’ll be betraying Marinette by doing this, he agrees, because the end reward is too great to pass up.

Basically, the plan is this: Adrien acts like he loves Lila. Kissing, hugging, all that sweet jazz. Meanwhile, he’s always planting seeds of deception in her ear. She thinks she has power now, why not strive for more? She’s the mastermind behind all these schemes, not the king. Someone as clever and beautiful as her deserves to sit on a throne to have everyone admire her, and he, Adrien, should rule by her side as her king.

It all comes down with Lila scheming with Adrien that she’ll stab the king in his sleep, then let Adrien out of his cell so that he can claim the throne with Lila as his queen. Well, Lila fulfills her end of the plan, and Adrien does become king (the previous one didn’t have any heirs), but is shocked when Adrien instead banishes her out of the kingdom. 

Also, before this, Adrien’s prisoner kingdom won the war. Marinette’s country is taken. Therefore, Adrien is now king of both this kingdom and hers.

Also, side note, Adrien has since appointed Plagg as his right-hand man and main advisor.

His ascension to the throne is kept quiet, and he invites Marinette’s family to his castle using the old king’s name. Marinette, still filled with anger and grief over Adrien’s ‘death’, plans to assassinate the king using the dagger Adrien gave her before he left. Poetic justice, no? 

Well, Marinette and her parents arrive, but instead of the old king, they see a man clothed entirely in black clothing lazing about on the throne. Marinette and her parents are confused, but respectfully don’t question anything. Meanwhile, Marinette thinks she sees something familiar in the green eyes penetrating through the new king’s black mask, but is quick to dismiss it. New king or not, she still feels he’s responsible for Adrien’s death, and wants to kill him anyway.

The new king welcomes Marinette’s parents and orders a servant to escort them to a room to await him in, so that they may talk of his new ownership of their country. In the meantime, he asks Marinette to talk privately with him. Thinking this is her chance to avenge Adrien, she agrees, and he leads her to a study.

Acting fast, as soon as the door shuts, Marinette grabs the dagger and lunges for him to catch him by surprise. However, the man somehow anticipates this, and grabs her wrist in the air. Some biting words from Marinette here, calm yet inquiring ones from the man there, and soon the man in black takes off his mask and reveals himself as Adrien.

Marinette is overjoyed, and after a tearful hug, Adrien tells her all of what happened since he left. Fast forward past a mutual love confession, Adrien asks her to marry him. As king, he can marry a princess, something he couldn’t do as a knight. After some teasing on both their ends, including Adrien saying something like “well, I could always order you to marry me” (since he technically is in possession of her kingdom) Marinette accepts and they proceed to make out until Plagg knocks on the door, saying that Marinette’s parents have been waiting nearly an hour to see him.

In the end, Marinette’s kingdom is returned, but both kingdoms have a strong alliance since Marinette is married to Adrien. And they all live happily ever after :)

[ariannadi]

I Look to You (F!Byleth x Dimitri)

It had happened in the blink of an eye - which, ironically enough, meant Dimitri hadn't been able to prepare for it.

One moment he was leading his loyal army of Faerghus across the border into Leicester, and the next he was seeing red when one person in particular had fallen to a marksman's surprise arrow.

"Byleth!" he heard Annette scream immediately following the thunderous whizzing and pin of the shot. Dimitri only had a split second to observe the situation before an onslaught of arrows were raining over them - causing all members of the army to scurry behind nearby rocks and trees for shelter.

"I've got her, Annette!" Sylvain shouted to the woman, and Dimitri could make out the limp form of his former professor in the other's arms. That didn't stop the blood in his veins from boiling over, and immediately he turned to the soldiers hidden before him and his followers.

"Cowards! If you're going to fire at your enemy, at least aim for its leader! Instead you target the one who taught you everything you know!" he snarled at them - hoping his words would find one in particular. He was quite aware of whose army was prone to stealth ambushes like this, after all.

Almost if on queue, Claude appeared from where he had been positioned, the same annoying smirk Dimitri remembered cemented on his face. "Ah, would you look at this? The disgraced King of Faerghus, washed up and full of inspiring words. In reality we all would've loved if you had been the one hit, but seeing as our dear teacher chose you upon her return, that makes her just as liable for your crimes."

Dimitri aimed his lance in Claude’s direction. “You!” he nearly roared.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll retreat at once!" Lysithea hissed from beside him, though she faltered slightly when Claude sent her the coldest of glares.

"Milord... Byleth isn't doing so hot," Sylvain spoke worriedly, and Dimitri was instantly at his side, not caring if the Leicester Alliance took a shot at him while he was distracted. The king's brow furrowed at the sight of the woman whose warmth had become addicting, her gentle pink cheeks a dangerous shade of white.

"A rather potent poison, and the arrow hit her right in the clavicle," Mercedes observed as she chewed her lip, having made her way over. Sure enough, an angry river of red dribbled through Byleth's clothing and down her arm. The woman herself was unconscious, her breathing weak.

”Byleth...” Dimitri whispered, his hand settling on her cheek. Even through his armor it felt stone cold. Whatever Claude’s army had lodged in her system, it was exceedingly ending her life with every passing second.

”No! I just got you back! You can’t just die like this, Byleth!” Dimitri pled as he cupped her face in his hands, but his words fell on deaf ears.

“The Alliance is advancing!” Ingrid shouted, and Mercedes motioned for Sylvain to set Byleth on the ground.

”We have a battle to win,” she said in her motherly tone when Dimitri opened his mouth to protest. “Go. I will tend to her. I studied antidotes for this strain of venom and have some in my stock.”

Dimitri thought he may sob outright in relief. “Mercedes... thank you,” he breathed, giving Byleth one last look before he stood to his feet and retrieved his previously discarded lance.

Byleth was their tactician and battle mastermind, but he would make do to win this in her stead - all for her sake.

When had the woman in question become something, someone so dear to him? Once upon a time, a measly half-decade ago, she had been his advisor and elder by just a few years - guiding both him and his house at the Officer’s Academy in the art of battle. He and his peers had held nothing but great respect for her, seeing as she had saved the lot of them a number of times and had prepared them for the trials they would face in the years to come.

But then, Byleth had vanished into thin air - and for the longest time the entirety of the monastery had presumed her dead.

Then, the war had begun between the three countries of Fodlan.

Byleth had materialized once again just a short year after - claiming that stasis through time had been the culprit of her absence, which explained her lighter hair and the fact that she hadn’t aged a day. She had sworn loyalty to him and his kingdom, however, even if that meant coming face to face with Edelgard and Claude as enemies - two people both of them had once held dear.

Nights upon nights of planning strategies, followed by downing bottles of piss-poor wine while informing her on the hell that had been the past five years, and Dimitri had begun to see Byleth less as a figure of authority and more as the woman she was - tender, beautiful, and full of hope.

Before he knew it, he was completely smitten with her. He knew such feelings were pointless; Byleth would never see him as anything more than the naive young man she had once taught, the broken king with a lust for blood and revenge.

But she was everything he had - and he would do anything to protect her.

”Die!” the king bellowed as the blade of his lance met Claude’s bow. Both were crafted of dragonstone, and the blow threw the both of them back a few feet.

”Ha! As if I’d let you attack me so easily,” Claude taunted, rounding on and firing at Dimitri, who barely dodged the spiritual arrow. “Do you think our dear teacher regrets choosing your house all those years ago, King Dimitri? The pristine and picturesque Prince of Faerghus, now nothing more than a murderous husk,” he continued, tutting in pity. “And now she may die for your sake - at least I would’ve done everything in my power to ensure her health and safety.”

”SHUT UP! You know nothing!” Dimitri roared, stabbing at the opposing lord and nicking his shoulder as he attempted to retreat. Claude seemingly ignored the minor injury, choosing instead to fire a hail of arrows into the air, a few of which lodged their way into Dimitri’s armor.

All around them, the armies of Faerghus and Leicester fought, many former friends and allies taking each other on until the lesser fell. Dimitri’s eye would wander to the spot where Mercedes had begun tending to Byleth, and without even realizing it, he and Claude were slowly inching their match in said direction.

The thrill of battle was a familiar drug to the king, his attacks becoming more and more powerful as Claude continued to push back. It was only a matter of time before the leading lord had fallen to his knees, an array of scarlet surrounding him.

Dimitri stood over him, about to land the finishing blow when he heard it.

”Dimitri...”

The king’s single eye widened as he turned to face Byleth, now awake and weakly watching him from where her head lay on a makeshift pillow. Dimitri made a beeline for her, his hands once again resting on either side of her face.

”Byleth... thank the goddess,” he practically whimpered, stroking her slowly-pinkening cheeks. Byleth struggled to raise her hand, but smiled when she settled it against one of his own.

”Dimitri, end the battle... please,” she spoke, her voice quivering.

That caught him by surprise. He turned to glance at Claude, who was still struggling to remain upright, and returned his gaze to the woman. “Byleth, are you mad? His army nearly killed you! He nearly killed you!”

Byleth simply continued staring at him, her fingers weakly squeezing at his armored ones. “End the battle, Dimitri,” she said again, more steadfast this time. “He is at a disadvantage - we must exact mercy.”

Dimitri studied her for a moment longer, his heart sinking when a familiar glossiness rose in her eyes. Loathe as he was to admit it, Byleth still cared for the students she no longer supported directly, and Claude had been one of her most devoted. Should Dimitri kill him, she likely would never forgive him.

”Well?” he curtly directed at the lord as he turned to face him, “You heard Byleth. Retreat now while you have a chance. I can’t promise you’ll have another,” he spat. Claude looked visibly surprised, which in of itself was out of the ordinary.

”...Teacher?” he questioned hoarsely, rising to his feet with much effort. His confusion shifted into determination, and he reached for his bow before hobbling away. The rest of his army soon followed, the wounded quickly being carted away on wagons and stretchers. Dimitri recongized some of them as his former peers.

”Dimitri,” Byleth spoke, trying to capture his attention once again. Once she had it, the woman smiled warmly. “I’m proud of you. Thank you.”

The king let out a shaky breath as his forehead came to rest against hers, and thankfully Mercedes didn’t seem to mind the interaction as she continued working, bless her.

”Don’t scare me like that again, Byleth,” Dimitri breathed, nuzzling his nose against her cheek. “What would I do if I lost you again?”

”You would carry on,” Byleth answered, her eyelashes brushing against his skin. “I would only hope you would show mercy for my sake... and then for the sake of those who deserve it. You’re so good, Dimitri. I know you are.”

Dimitri was at a loss for words. How... how could someone have so much faith in him despite everything he had done?

The king felt his throat constricting as something like love threatened to erupt from his chest.

Was that what this was? Love?

”Byleth, I...” he swallowed thickly, but was interrupted by Dedue, who wanted to inform him on the wounded and inquire their next move.

”Go,” Byleth urged him, but not before turning to softly kiss the palm of his hand. “I’ll catch up when I’m able.” And, knowing it would get him moving, Byleth grinned at him coyly, as though to say she would be just fine and that he didn’t need to worry.

But he would worry regardless, he thought as he made his way to where his comrades had set up their makeshift war table. Not many had managed to chip away at the ice that had formed around the young king’s heart, and even those fortunate few knew to keep their distance.

But Byleth, so warm and bright, had melted her way through and made a home there. Soon, winning the war had nothing to do with revenge, but instead the kindling hope that they could share their future together.

[galactic-academia]

#8 ‘Why are you so jealous?” With Moriarty pleaaaase and thank you 🙏😍❤️

Good choice, here we go =D

Rating: G

Category: F/M

Fandom: Sherlock (BBC)

Relationship: Jim Moriarty/Female Reader

Tags: Imagine, Moriarty is alive & in love, humor, flirt, love confession, Greg does his best, playful reader.

Words: 1230

Notes: I’m not a native, please, forgive my mistakes. Gif is not mine. I hope you’ll enjoy it

Masterpost | Ask | Guidelines | Sherlock (BBC) Masterlist

James Moriarty had been an evil mastermind of the crime, that’s true. He had been manipulated by Eurus to commit his worst misdeeds, that’s also true and that’s probably why it hadn’t be this difficult to put him back in the right path after all the debacle of Sherringford. Poor thing just needed some sympathy and trust to agree to help Scotland Yard catching the worst scoundrels, after him, of course. Well, the truth must be said: maybe working with Y/N had played an important role in this new collaboration with the Police. Moriarty’s sweet spot for her was really obvious. Except for Y/N.

The criminal of the day hadn’t been caught up yet, this is why Y/N, Jim and Lestrade had followed him to the restaurant where he went an hour ago. In other words: a plank. The two Detectives had stayed into the car while Jim had followed the outlaw inside, to be sure he wouldn’t fly away. Since the guy was just having a meal, the only thing to do was waiting. For now. The three justiciaries were tired, the man had made then running into London all the week without a possibility to catch him red-handed yet. Faces were low and mood bad. To avoid the situation becoming even less bearable, Greg started a little talk with Y/N

“Not the most thrilling case we have been working on, isn’t it?”

Y/N was positively bored. Sitting during hours in a car wasn’t the part she preferred the most in her job. But she understood her friend’s purpose and gave him a little smile.

“Indeed. What has been your most thrilling case?”

Even if she knew very well she was doing exactly what Lestrade expected her to do, she found herself unable to refrain a genuine chuckle when the Detective answered like an old cop in a bad movie

“I have seen strange things you know. I’ve arrested more bad guys and madmen than I can count, but the most frightening case I’ve been on must be the one John called The Hound of the Baskervilles…”

Of course, Y/N already knew everything about this story since John had told her during one of his awkward try to seduce her. But a good story can be told numerous times without loosing its interest when it’s done by a good taleteller. Y/N was ready to hear Greg’s version of the Baskervilles case when her phone vibrated in her pocket. With a little nod to her colleague to let him know she was still listening, Y/N reached to her phone. That was Jim. Odd since they all had headsets and microphones, so they were able to communicate with each other all the time.

“Did you really have to do that? – JM”

“To do what? – Y/N”

“To ask the Old Fox to tell you a story… - JM”

“Well, that was it or counting the flies so… – Y/N”

“I’m afraid you made a bad choice, Y/N – JM”

Jim couldn’t help but always annoying Lestrade in a way or another, but, deeply, he really liked the Detective. That was part of the reasons Y/N had a big crush on the repented criminal, beyond all the layers of smugness and sarcasm, there was a loving, caring good man.

“C’mon, it’s a great story! – Y/N”

“Eh… No. My crimes were incredible, scary, but beautiful and clever. Baskervilles was… How could I say it? Rough? Messy? Gross! I can’t believe good old Greg preferred that to my works – JM”

At this point, Y/N wasn’t listening to Lestrade anymore but chuckling at her phone

“Really? Why are you so jealous? It’s not because Daddy isn’t talking about you right now that he doesn’t love you anymore, you know? – Y/N”

She heard a little gasp on her headset. He had read the text.

“You’re totally misunderstanding the situation. I’m not jealous, why should I be? And, please, never call Greg “daddy” again, would you? Never – JM”

Jim liked to annoy Greg. Y/N adored to annoy Jim, this was their way to flirt after all.

“My, my, what a dirty mind you have! I wasn’t calling him “Daddy” this way and I was implying he was your daddy, not mine. And, by the way, I don’t think I misunderstand the situation: you’re upset Greg didn’t choose one of your crime to tell me and because he’s rambling at Sherlock’s genius instead, that’s all – Y/N”

This time, Moriarty couldn’t contain a giggle while reading Y/N answer, happily, Greg didn’t hear it.

“I just told my crimes were better than this ridiculous horror tale, and I uphold. I’m a misunderstood genius *sight* but brainy is the new sexy *wink* - JM”

Well, if that wasn’t an opening it was looking like a lot! Fine.

“Brainy is quite cool, but jealous is really sexy – Y/N”

There was a little blank. Half a minute while Y/N asked herself if she had misunderstood the genius, if she had crossed the boundaries of their flirting. Then, another message.

“All right, I confess, I’m jealous Greg is talking to you about Sherlock and not about me – JM”

 Easy, Y/N, easy. Not time to scare him.

“Why? – Y/N”

“I already told you – JM”

Well, easy, ok, but she didn’t have any of that sh*t, it seemed he needed one more push…

“Really? I’m sorry but I love this story. Besides, jealous is sexy but honest is SO hot… – Y/N”

She heard Jim clearing his throat at the other end of the line. Time to see where they were really going.

“Fine, fine, I’m jealous because Greg is rambling about Sherlock and not about me because I want you to be impressed by me and not by Sherlock. Are you happy now? – JM.”

Very. One more little push, just for the fun. Y/N couldn’t resist.

“Nothing thrills me more than possessiveness – Y/N”

The answer was immediate.

“Could you, please, tell Greg to stop squeezing your arm each time he thinks he’s saying something funny? I really like him and I would regret to have to punch him in the face immediately after the end of this case. Thanks in advance. – JM”

At that, Y/N looked up from her phone and saw Jim waving a little at her by the window of the restaurant. She tried to hide her laugh and her blush in the same time and ended coughing her lungs on the passenger seat, interrupting Lestrade by the way.

“Y/N! Are you all right?”

She was still trying to get her breath back when she heard Jim’s voice in her headset.

“She has to, our man is leaving, I’m on it but be ready. And, Greg, get off my girl, please.”

The two Detectives exclaimed in the same time, although Y/N voice still was a little throttled

“Your girl?”

And Moriarty to grumble

“Yes, my girl, my future girl, soon-to-be-girlfriend, love-interest, whatever… Didn’t know I had to be that precise, it’s a question of hours now. Can’t we catch this son of a b*tch so I can propose already? My, you should know patience isn’t my greatest virtue…”

That certainly wasn’t the most thrilling case Y/N had worked on but, my… It even was her favourite, so far!

***

Thanks for reading

[vickisventures]

Mt. Rush(what’s the rush?)more

I am so disappointed and irritated! We had really hyped ourselves up to go see Mount Rushmore.  I knew in advance that the Visitor Center, Avenue of Flags and a small portion of the Presidential Trail was closed due to COVID and renovations.  I was prepared for that, but Dennis had gone just last week and had hiked to the base of the memorial using the Nature Trail and the open portion of the Presidential Trail.  We knew that the parking fee was $10.  I had done my research.  So off we go yesterday to see this great work of art.  Upon arrival, we were happy to see that there weren’t a gagillion tourists. We walked up to the entrance after parking and saw that the bookstore and ice cream shop was open (as the website said.). We took some pics and headed toward the Sculpture Studio.  A lady was giving a talk at a small viewpoint area about the park and land.  We went on to the studio and another ranger was giving a talk about the sculpture. We decided to go ahead and hike before it got any hotter but had trouble finding the trail.  We decided to ask a ranger and he said it was closed due to preparation for the Independence Day celebration.  SAY WHAT?!? I didn’t see any posting about that anywhere.  The guy said he realized that and apologized.  We were (and still are) really upset with the park administration. There were a lot of upset people. We could have chosen any day/week between May and October to go and we picked a day that they decided to close all of the trails without warning.  I am trying to get a free parking pass for a return visit (or a refund) but I’m not going to hold my breath that they even care.  We plan to return when my parents and sister come in July, but we had hoped to see what the hike was like before they arrived.  We did get some nice pics and listened to 2 ranger talks before heading back to pay our $10 parking fee and heading to Keystone for lunch.  One ranger talk was rather thought provoking. The ranger had done a lot of reading and research on the topic of Indian tribes in the U.S. He talked about the mistreatment of the Indians back in the day of Custer and about how the government destroyed the buffalo population so they would remove the food supply for the Indians.  He told of the government sterilizing all Indian women 15-25 so that the Indians would cease to exist.  He was very passionate about his feelings about the U.S. vs the Indians. Apparently a lot of money sits in the treasury that the Indians in South Dakota could have but if they take even $1 of it, they will be accepting the sale of the land and they refuse to do that. So the money just sits.  The ranger postulated that they Indians just want respect and recognition; not money.  And they want their land back.  I understand his viewpoint, but I also don’t completely agree with him.  I agree that the Indians were mistreated and had their land taken away from them and were forced to live in reservations. I do not agree that the government was 100% at fault for the situation that resulted in them being forced into reservations.  I know everyone has differing opinions on this and that’s ok.  The other ranger talk was more about how the monument was created.  I didn’t realize that the monument wasn’t ever completed.  Apparently, they ran out of money and Gutzon Borglum (the mastermind) died before he could attain more funds so they just did what they could with the remaining money and quit.  So, I guess the trip wasn’t a complete bust but for people living on a budget, the lack of updated park information didn’t allow us to make an informed decision on when to go.

We had stopped briefly in Keystone on our train ride and it looked Iike a cute town, so we wanted to go back.  Mount Rushmore is very close to Keystone, so we decided to head there next.  We were a little disappointed there too.  It has several pizza places, a few other eating establishments and some touristy shops but that’s about it.  The Rushmore Borglum Story museum is closed right now due to COVID but most everything else was open.  We walked from the top of the town to the bottom.   Our lunch was so-so.  I had read that the food was expensive there for what you got.  The picture of Steve on the wooden motorcycle is at a place where they do chainsaw art in Keystone.  We do want to go back because we can get a free 18 course mini golf ticket, a free ticket to the presidential wax museum, and a free pass to a place that has an alpine slide, ski lift, zip line and ropes type course.  We plan to check all of those places out in time.

Monday. we went on our bi-weekly expedition to Rapid City to go to Walmart.  We decided to run to Kohl’s and the mall for a bit as well.  It was so nice to go into a mall and do some shopping. We haven’t really done much “shopping” since we went full-time but it’s one thing when you choose not to and another when you can’t.  About ½ of the stores at the mall were still closed but we were able to get what we needed to.  

Next week is 4th of July week.  We are still getting calls for reservations and we are still full.  We are selling sites that we don’t usually sell; so our next work week will be a busy one.  We aren’t sure how we got so lucky as to have ALL of the summer holidays fall on our work days this year!  

Steve has solidified his plans to drive for a company in North Dakota for the month of October. He will be delivering sugar beets to a processing plant.  We decided to do this instead of working at a processing plant or have Steve drive for a farmer.  He will instead be working for a trucking company which he thinks will give him a chance to ease into the trucking business before we get back to Arizona where he plans to work full-time for Knight Transportation.  He will work 5 on, 1 off, 12-hour days while in North Dakota. We have reservations at a campground there and I hold down the fort while he works that month.  After that we plan to check out our land in Colorado and spend a couple of days in Amarillo going to doctor appointments before heading to Arizona.  I just found out that my niece won’t be playing college softball next school year after all due Arizona running scared and closing down sports programs.  I know this is a sore subject for people and another area where there are varying opinions but I think it’s DUMB.  It’s time to get on with life and get back to normal.  Let the virus run its course and let’s stop worrying about masks and social distancing.  I have heard that Arizona has had a number of new cases recently. From what I’ve seen, Arizona has been fairly strict on their following the pandemic guidelines so why are they having issues when other states aren’t?  I wonder if that’s more due to the number of elderly people who live there than a loosening of restrictions.  I did make sure that my job at the RV resort in Arizona is secure no matter what happens with the pandemic in the fall.  My boss said there will be plenty for me to do not matter what.  That made me feel better.

As I mentioned earlier, my sister has decided to fly in and join us while mom and dad are here visiting. We also learned this week that Steve’s brother and sister-in-law are going to bring their RV up here to Big Pine Campground in September for a visit/vacation.  Looking forward to our company in this beautiful place!

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “Freaks” Part 1

Y/N is a metahuman with several peculiarities, but one could say the weirdest is her heart: it is gated by four locks that make it impossible for the woman to fall in love. Also one could say she’s manipulative, cunning and ruthless. Sounds familiar? Maybe that’s why The Joker is the perfect candidate to help her finally get something she always desired: a one of a kind heir.

“Yoooo-hoooooooooo, Mister Jooo-kkkeeerrr!!!!” Bane skips along the poorly lit corridor since it’s almost 11 at night and the Arkham inmates are supposed to be asleep. Yet they’re not: the ruckus woke them all up and now they are standing by the glass walls facing the hallway, wondering what the heck is going on.

The real Bane sighs, completely unappreciative of you borrowing his physical appearance.  

“Hey, cut it out!” he admonishes as Y/N passes by and she decides to stop for a moment.

“Hello there handsome,” you swing your hips while walking towards him and The Riddler snorts, entertained: his cell is right across so it’s not like he can miss the show.

“If you’re going to mimic me, don’t do stuff like that!” Bane hisses through his mask, irritated.

“Apologies honey,” you wink and continue. “Far from me to purposely chop your masculinity to pieces,” but seductively sway on the tip of the heavy boots, taunting more because... who’s going to stop you?

“Seriously?!” Bane growls and you cut him some slack, transforming into The Joker for a few seconds.

“Jeez, don’t get worked up,” you smirk and blow the green hair off your face. “I’m looking for this guy, I know he’s here too.”

“Why are you looking for him?” Killer Croc punches his fists together, hoping he can twist your presence in his favor.

“I need him for breeding purposes,” you serenely admit as The Clown Prince of Crime rolls his eyes three padded rooms up from your present location.

“I told you before I can help with that,” Harvey Dent flips his coin in the air, not understanding why his offer was rejected numerous times.

“Me too!” The Riddler grins. “You should forget about the man that repeatedly refuses your advances and pick one of us,” the mastermind gestures at the cells containing prisoners willing to take on the task.

“I want him,” you revert to your human form, Mr. Freeze gasping with admiration: he’s been a fan for the past two years. “He’s the only male I’m compatible with for procreation on this continent and nobody else will do.”

“How do you know?” Deadshot addresses the burning question.

“I just know, ok?” you pout not wishing to get into details. “That’s why I’m here to bail him out. I helped his men clear the area so we can rescue the father of my future baby.”

“Ugghhhh,” a displeased and very loud protest is heard from The Joker’s cell.

“There you are,” you light up with the happiest smile and abandon the captives held in pretty boxes lined up on the south side of Arkham Asylum.

“Hey Y/N,” Jonathan Crane smacks his lips, “if you get me out of here also I’ll give you two millions.”

“I’ll give you double!” The Penguin shouts and Bane promises:

“I’ll give you three!”

The offers keep on pouring in and the shapeshifter is not a person to say no to easy money.

“Might as well,” you press the yellow buttons outside everyone’s incarceration chambers, leaving the best for last.

“Hiiii Mister Jooooker,” you drag the words and he grumbles, squeezing past you as soon as the glass slides enough for him to emerge from the cell.

“Shut up!” he barks and you couldn’t care less about his crabbiness.

“Your crew is waiting outside,” you giggle and turn into Frost, escorting the grouchy Clown in the direction of the exit you know it’s safe to take.

“Would you look at that?” The Shark teases, not being able to contain his laughter.

“Holy shit!” Panda tries to keep it together yet it’s impossible: the real Frost gives them a dismissing glare, annoyed Y/N is lovingly holding The Joker’s arm as they come down the stairs, definitely engaged in some sort of argument.

“That’s obviously not me!” Jonny mutters and there are more disrespectful remarks from the henchmen patiently waiting for their boss.

“It’s still funny as hell!” Richard underlines and swallows his sentence when Y/N posing as Frost kisses The Joker’s cheek.

“One more sound out of you jerks and I’ll bash your brains in!” Jonny threatens because he’s sick and tired of Y/N playing charades at his expense.

Thankfully you switch to your old self immediately after but the team is glad they’ll have something to tease Frost with in the weeks to come. Although it can be overdone: under the apparent calmness he has quite a wretched temper.

“Delivered as agreed,” you cheerfully announce to his gang and follow J even if he’s not thrilled about it.

“Get lost!” he angrily stomps, pushing you away when you grab his hand again.

“Stop being so rude!” you remodel your body after his and he takes a deep breath, staring back at another fabulous J courtesy of Y/N.

“Stop mimicking me!!!” he sneers and Panda comments in a low tone, convinced he’s far behind to safely say it:

“Two Jokers. God Forbids!”

A couple of goons nearby snicker and the amusement abruptly halts when you raise your voice:

“I heard that!!!”

“Huh?” J inquires.

You just lift your shoulders up, not wanting to distract him from what he has to focus on: making sure he fulfils your demand.

The First Lock  

“You’re still here?!” The King of Gotham comes out of the bathroom, intensely drying his wet hair with a towel. “I thought that by the time I’m out of the shower you’ll be gone.”

You gaze at his naked body, reckoning it’s a nice coincidence to be compatible with such a beautiful specimen. Could be much worse.

“Why don’t you want to help me?” you ask and The Joker is aware what you’re referring to. “I’ve been begging you for a year; I must emphasize I’m losing hope and I will probably have to move to another continent in order to find a new prototype that could give me an heir.”

“Not my problem. Why do you want a kid?” he tosses the towel on the floor and digs around in the closet for a pair of boxers.

“So I won’t be alone,” the disarming reply makes him tilt his head to analyze the stubborn metahuman that pesters him on a regular basis about crap he doesn’t give a damn about. “The storm is coming,” you shift the subject when the lighting strikes the dark skies in the distance at 1:23 in the morning.

J gulps, uneasy: he saw the 6 feet creature for a split second and it certainly startled him.

“Apologies, Mister Joker,” you try to fix the mistake because it’s evident his reaction is below excitement standards. “The fire bolt must have projected my true nature. You only tolerate the pretty side, don’t you?” the sadness in your demeanor confuses J. “They all do…” Y/N whispers to herself. “Is this better?” you transform into Poison Ivy, then Cat Woman, then a random blonde girl with big boobs; by the seventh option The Joker had enough.

“Cut it out!” he finally finds his favorite underwear and you stand by the bed, opting out to be your human self for his sake.

“Can you please help me?” a disappointed woman pleads since he’s getting ready to go to sleep.

“Why would I help you?” The Joker snaps, hoping you’ll disappear from the premises and let him rest at the mansion he found refuge at after breaking out of Arkham.

Your eyes get teary and he never saw you show any type of weakness before; it’s sort of uncomfortable even for him.

“Because us freaks have to stick together.”

“Speak for yourself!” J gets mad at your affirmation and doesn’t know how to react to the tears rolling down your cheeks. “Mmmmm,” he debates, deep in thought: the insane Clown was captive for almost three months and a half and they surely don’t allow any conjugal visits in that shithole. Not that he has anybody in particular that would come to tend to his urges.

“If I help you,” the sudden switch in mood makes you pay attention, “will you quit bothering me?”

“Y-yes, of course! I swear!” you wipe your eyes, full of hope for once. “Since we’re a match it will only take one time! I’ll make it worth your while, I promise.”

You watch J take off his boxers and don’t blink when he yanks you in his arms, afraid he might change his mind: he’s not the most well balanced individual on the planet.

“No kissing,” you dodge his lips. “I only need the technical stuff.”

He gives you a cold stare, fed up with the infernal plague:

“You don’t get to make any other requests!” The Joker pulls you into a passionate kiss that unexpectedly shatters the first lock of your heart.

“Wait, wait…” you part from his soft lips, kind of drunk on the intimacy. “Did you hear that?!”

“Hear what?” he shoves Y/N on the bed and slowly crawls on top of her.

“That deafening noise.”

“Nope,” J purrs while carefully listening anyway. A strong thunder shakes the ground and he grins: “I heard it.”

“Not that, it was something else,” you attempt to explain and he buries his face in your cleavage, protesting the unwanted dialogue: 

“After chewing my ears for months, less yapping would be nice!”

You smile, delighted to have tricked The Joker with your fake tears; you sure counted on him being trapped inside the Asylum without any feminine presence to grace his existence and it payed off in the end. Making yourself available when nobody else is around brought the desired outcome: Y/N always gets what she wants.  

************

The Joker moans in his dream, unhappy with your wiggling.

“What is it?” he cuddles up to your body and it feels soft.

“I’m pregnant,” you yawn and he puffs in disbelief.

“Already?... We had sex a couple of hours ago.”

“U-hum,” you say and let him caress your skin, unaware your true essence peeked from behind the human shell. “It shouldn’t take too long. By morning I will have my heir.”

“That fast?” J opens his eyes since the pillow talk is actually interesting.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t notice I’m different,” you hum with your eyes closed, exhausted from the energy you have to channel into the tiny life growing inside your womb. The soon to be mother is so impatient she won’t skip accelerating the process at the expense of her own vitality.

“No kidding,” The King of Gotham mumbles, smitten with the apparition peacefully dozing off in his arms. The storm outside is wreaking havoc and each time lightning illuminates the blackness J can inspect the delicate feathers covering your body: when he touches you they change colors, red butterflies flying out of the pressed skin. He curiously pokes one and the illusion shatters into glowing dust resembling small fireworks.

The Joker has no clue that he is the first soul to ever see you like this; earlier he didn’t have the opportunity to comprehend what he saw, but he’s sure taking advantage of the situation now to understand what he’s looking at.

“Oh,” he touches your tummy that seems to expand with each passing moment: something is moving and he foolishly smirks without realizing.

Whatever is developing inside Y/N he helped create and strangely enough he can’t wait to see the result.

************

The Second Lock

J drags his feet on the wet grass, watching you admire the sunrise. He woke up and the bed was empty: made him wonder if you vanished without a trace. Yet there you are, waiting for him in the backyard since you figured you owe him this much.

“Mister Joker,” you chuckle, holding something wrapped up in a blanket. “I’m off to my house: thank you for participating in this project,” the indifferent metahuman blurs out: it’s the only speech she prepared. “I requested that everyone owing me money from last night should send it here,” you gesture at the huge duffel bag at your feet. “There’s 35 million dollars in here, all yours as a thank you for helping me.”

“Hm?” he crinkles his nose, insulted at the gift. “Do I look like a prostitute?!”

Why is he getting angry?... That’s a lot of money for a one night stand.

“They get paid for sex, don’t they?” he enlightens the puzzled Y/N. “What’s that?” J nods at the bundle you gently rock.

“My baby.”

“You gave birth?!” he forgets his hurt pride, not believing it’s already done.

“Yes, about 45 minutes ago,” you kiss your daughter’s forehead and her innocence makes your chest tightly constrict before the second lock of your heart is broken to pieces. “Did you hear that?” you interrogate the man you don’t need anymore.

“Hear what?” The Joker rushes to glimpse at the newborn as you step back, discontent he’s trying to take her.

“That horrifying bang! How can you not hear it?!”

“I have no idea what you’re rambling about,” he forcefully snatches the baby from Y/N’s embrace, grunting at her resistance. “Gimme, I wanna check out what I made!”

He parts the blanket aside and…

“Waaaaah,” the mesmerized parent holds his breath:

The sweet angel has wings embedded with neon green feathers, the same shade as J’s crazy hair.

“Are you done?” you attempt to reacquire your treasure and he slaps your arm.

“Little bird…” J runs his fingers along her wings and the mini-metahuman fusses a bit, already establishing a connection with her dad.

That’s exactly what you’re trying to avoid before it’s too late.

“Mister Joker, I have to go, ok??!!” you seek to remove the baby from her father.

“Stop bothering me!” he sucks on his teeth and begins striding towards the mansion while the panicked Y/N runs behind him.

“What are you doing? Give her back!”

“What should we name her?” The Joker ignores your outburst, totally struck with this overwhelming emotion washing over him.

Oh no, she’s already getting under his skin!

“WE?!” you shout, exasperated. “This is MY descendant!”

“You said I participated in the project so she’s half mine!” The Clown implies the obvious.“I think we should name her Emma, I always liked that name,” he adds to Y/N’s dismay. “Pretty bird…” J shuts you down as soon as you open your mouth to protest, stroking his daughter’s feathers.

He’s already addicted and this is a complete disaster!

“I’ll tell my boys to get baby supplies,” he decides without taking into consideration any opinions you might have about his plan.

“Why?!” you cringe at the proposal simply because The Joker is not part of the equation; but your daughter is already bonding with him and that’s something mommy can’t break: she has her own will and set of abilities enabling her to already make choices. You’re not sure why she’s making him believe he could be included into a two party family; there’s no space for a third, otherwise it would be a three party family and that won’t work.

“Don’t you need supplies for her?” he enters the master bedroom where the infant was conceived only hours ago.

You’re still on the patio, fuming at his absurdities.

“No, I have to go home! I’ll take care of it! Listen Mister Joker, I’m not expecting anything from you! ” you underline the truth and his witty response baffles Y/N:

“I was sure expected though to get naked and have sex right after escaping Arkham, huh?!” and The Joker protectively covers his daughter’s ears, his messed up brain figuring out she shouldn’t hear that. “Where’s home anyway, huh?” the tirade continues.

“That’s none of your business!” you shriek and he repositions Emma in his arms, preparing to lecture her mother when he gets distracted by the growth spur.

“Did she just get…bigger??!!!”

“Yes,” you join him in the middle of the room, explaining things you shouldn’t because frankly you should be at your residence by now. “She’s using capabilities inherited from me in order to speed up her evolution and then take a break to recharge around one year old landmark.”

“Fascinating,” J gushes while placing Emma on the couch: the baby is napping, not bothered by the quarrel anymore. “Wait here; I’ll go instruct my men on what we need.”

This is the limit to make you lose your marbles.

“There. Is. No. WE!” you thud on the wood floor and The Joker watches you get taller and taller until you can barely fit under the vaulted ceiling, electing to show him what he’s messing with. The metahuman transforms into the nightmare she really is: dark and sinister, covered in black feathers with sharp, long claws and fangs ready to tear apart the human trespassing a fine line.

That’s not what The Clown saw last night: you keep the beast caged but now IT needs to come out, otherwise he won’t understand the seriousness of his circumstances.

“You are not needed!” your heavy steps make the ground shake. “You are not wanted!” you corner The Joker between the table and the couch Emma is resting on. “Don’t stay in my way or you’ll regret it!!!! I’m taking my daughter and we’ll go: don’t try to stop me or I’ll kill you!!!” and you bend over to snarl in his face, prepared to shred him to pieces.

Eerie silence while J is gathering all his strength to put up with the fucked up events leading to this moment.  

“You two can’t go,” he straightness his back, so stiff one could think he swallowed a broomstick.

“Why not?” you smell his skin, antagonized.

The Joker tries to look as imposing as possible but he’s still half your size; nothing else in his mind besides some words of wisdom he’s about to repeat:

“Because us freaks have to stick together.”

You unravel your tusks, displeased with his strategy:

“Speak for yourself!”

That went down the drain fast, J thinks while the hideous mug a few inches away from his face doesn’t bulge. His eyes wander off to the sofa and he gasps:

“Where’s the baby?!”

A sharp claw points towards the ceiling and he looks up only to notice Emma snuggling in her blanket.

“Oh my God!” his eyes get big. “What is she doing there?!”

“Snoozing!”

“She’s gonna fall!” The Joker circles around you, worried about the angel.

“She’s not going to fall; she’s comfortable,” you huff and reach to caress her.

“Where are the wings?!” J glares at the gigantic mother tending to her peculiar offspring.

How many people have witnessed such bizarre sight? NONE. And yet The Clown is asking questions without a trace of disgust or judgement; only pure curiosity.

“They’ll come and go, she can’t fully control them yet.”

“Can you…can you turn into your usual self?” he suggests. “You’re very ugly like this and it’s spooking me out.”

“Do you know you’re interested in us because she’s making you?” the monster bites without using her fangs. “You’re useless, yet she wants you around.”

“Oh yeah?” The Joker’s attitude escalates despite the sticky context. “You’re useless also since you chased me until I slept with you; she exists thanks to my help! You should be ecstatic!!”

“Money is not enough?!” you gradually switch to the Y/N he’s familiar with even if you’re still mad.

“I have money,” The King of Gotham pretends not to be relieved by the welcomed transmutation.

“Then what do you want?” you attempt to compromise for your daughter’s sake.

“My birds,” he calmly admits.

You debate on his stupid reply: is J deaf and didn’t catch the memo?! He might be because he keeps on telling you he didn’t discern the odd, loud noises you heard twice so far.

You are not aware it would be such a blessing to hear those sounds again: it could mean the unconventional family Emma is trying to keep together might actually work.    

Also read: MASTERLIST

Diyunho(.)tumblr(.)com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

[crazyfreckledginger]

Ikemen Sengoku x Reader - “Criminal Masterminds” [Crimelord AU] [Part 4]

In a world where the most powerful are the greediest, everyone has to fend for themselves. The rich stay hidden, normal citizens live their lives, unbeknownst to all the lies and secrets the most dangerous firms keep locked away. When a mercenary is sent to retrieve valuable information that is also searched for by the Oda forces and Takeda-Uesugi, paths cross, dilemmas arise, love, morals and important decisions become a threat.

Warning: Seductive Nobunaga and flirty Shingen

“What are you doing here? What do you want from me?” Her throat was dry and tight, she didn’t understand why she felt so intimidated all of a sudden. The girl didn’t usually get fearful in front of people. But the man in front of her was unreadable -- except for the huge smirk he wore constantly.

Who were these people? What did they want? If they had any kind of power how come she didn’t know anything about them?

There were so many questions she had and so few were answered.

“You don’t wanna know how we are first?” He chuckled.

“No, I wanna know what’s your business here is first and if I’m remotely interested, then I’ll ask,” She mentally praised herself for still having her tough exterior.

“Smart move,” Nobunaga nodded, comfortably laying on her bed, he stretched his arms, placing his hands behind his head and crossing his legs, “in a nutshell, we want you on our side,”

“What do you mean?” He took a deep breath before continuing

“The people you work for are bad people, and granted, we aren’t the best of people either but we aren’t as disturbingly bad as they are,”  

“What makes you think I’m not one of them?” She dared, not wanting to seem desperate for an exit.

“Because we’ve had our eyes on you,” he licked his lips, savouring the anticipation that he knew she was feeling, “you see, we know you’re a high level mercenary that had been loyal to that company for a while now, and because of that, you’re on the higher class so you can choose you are not inside the company,”

“Yeah, so I’m an independent mercenary, what’s your point,” She snapped, not liking the bad memories flooding back.

“My point is, clearly you are trying to get yourself out of this situation, which is why you work on that in parallel-”

“What, how would you know that?” She scoffed, terrified at the sheer volume of information they had on her.

“Going to a sketchy pub and being good friends with its owner when he’s clearly interested in you and you don’t do anything about his obvious advances doesn’t leave much to the imagination,” Nobunaga chuckled. Her heart nearly dropped out of her chest at his analysis.

“It could be he’s just a friendly guy,” (Y/N) tried to keep herself high.

“And what about going to the photobooth and then giving him a freshly printed passport photo huh? That doesn’t seem very legal,” He chuckled.

“I’m a mercenary, it’s not legal!” The girl shook her head. The crimelord laughed loudly, the sound rumbling in his chest as his shoulders wavered.

“Very true,” He shook his head amusingly, “anyway,” his fit of laughter died down and his face found it’s seriousness again, “we want you on our side, your company is a big enemy that’s becominging really tricky with us and since you’re on the inside, you can help us tear it apart.”

“And why would I trust you?” Her eyes narrowed, he sat on the bed, moving closer to her. His fingers traced her collarbone. She tensed instantly. He was so close to her but (Y/N) didn’t dare move, he was so mysterious and it frustrated her that she wasn’t able to read him. The girl didn’t realise how tense she had become as his fingers caressed up her neck to her jaw. His breath stroke her exposed skin as his lips ghosted over her ear.

“We have a common enemy, we want it to be destroyed, and,” he smirked, biting his lip and eyeing her, “we don’t want to harm more pretty women than we have to hmm,” His nose nuzzled her hair.

“O-okay, that’s enough!” She blushed profusely, pushing him off. He chuckled amusingly.

“Then we have a deal?” He outstretched his hand to her. She glanced down at it before reluctantly reaching for it. His hand squeezed hers firmly, grinning widely at her.

“Who are the other people here though?”

“One of our enemies, but also an enemy of the people you are working for, I guess we can become allies just for now to destroy our common enemy,” He sighed disappointedly, letting go of her hand, “let’s see what kind of chaos they have created in my absence.”

The girl jumped as she felt her kitty at her foot, scratching at her foot.

“Oh baby,” She cooed lowly, reaching down for the furball and pulling it up, placing him against her chest. Her eyes then followed Nobunaga’s figure as he paced to the bedroom door and open the doors.

“Don’t you dare touch Yuki!” A voice ordered.

“Everyone, stop this!” Nobunaga ordered. Silence immediately engulfed the room. The only sound she could hear was her cat’s purring as she gently scratched it’s neck.

“Sorry, my Lord,” The man with hints of green on his suit bowed at Oda.

“Now, if this is going to work, we need to work together, as much as I don’t want this to happen, we have an asset within their company.” Nobunaga smirked, sliding his arm around the girl’s shoulders. She released a squeak as her body was pulled against his.

“That’s no way to treat a beautiful lady,” The auburn man frowned, pacing up to the pair and pulling the girl out of the raven-haired man’s grasp.

“Uh,” The girl blushed as his second finger placed itself delicately under her chin and tilted it towards his smirking face.

How were there so many attractive men in one room? More importantly, her room?

“Let her go, you’re making her uncomfortable,” The green tux man stated firmly, frowning in their direction.

“He’s right, you can clearly see her discomfort, let her go Lord Shingen,” A man with glasses sighed.

“If we’re going to work together, we’ll need a plan!” Hideyoshi was it? informed.

“Do you have a plan? I don’t want to be in the presence of this devil when I can’t kill him longer than I have to be,” A white-haired man with beautiful heterochromia eyes glared at Nobunaga.

Hideyoshi turned to his Lord, who was smirking mischievously.

“Well…”

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[raisingsupergirl]

Apple or AT&T—Who's More Evil?

Let me start out by saying that I get it. I really do. Companies have to make money. Successful companies with great products deserve to make money. Apple and AT&T? They both make wonderful products and provide top-notch services. The problem is, for some dumb reason, they both like making as much money as possible. And the easiest way for them to do that is to keep us, the consumers, buying their new crap. Convincing us that we need it and that there's no other alternative. So when a company gets that big, when they can leverage their power against the little people, what stops us from finally getting fed up, throwing our phones in the toilet, and going back to smoke signals? Well, to answer that, I need to tell you what brought on my recent frustrations (as if any specific examples need to be given)…

Problem 1: The Man With the Data Plan

My wife and I went on a cruise a few weeks ago. And like most Americans with 1st-world problems, we had to decide whether we wanted to 1) go a week without cell phone or internet access while we cruised across international waters…yeah, right, 2) buy an international data plan from AT&T, or 3) purchase access to our ship's Wi-Fi access. In the end, it looked like the Wi-Fi package would be the cheapest, so that's what we went with. My wife was careful to turn off all wireless data to all apps and services on her phone (I just kept my phone turned off all week. I would have thrown it in the ocean and never looked back if she'd have let me) as directed on the various FAQs she found, and she logged onto the ship's Wi-Fi without complication. Smooth sailing… or at least we thought so until we received our AT&T bill. Yup, you guessed it—$100 worth of charges for iMessages and calls.

Problem 2: Disposable Phones

My wife and I bought new iPhone 7s two years ago. It was a great time in our lives. I remember the occasion fondly because it was the same day that our sweet Avery (two years old at the time) dressed up in her yellow "Beauty" princess dress and took in her first movie theater experience with Mommy and Daddy. Well, fast-forward two years, and we just paid off those phones. And lo and behold, my wife updated her phone earlier this week and within 30 minutes…it stopped working. Not completely, just the microphone, which, contrary to this smart phone generation's beliefs, is kind of important. And there was "nothing" that could be done to fix it. Which meant, just when we were free from the clutches of our AT&T contract and iPhone debt, we were sucked back in. Sure, the wife would get her fancy new phone, but at what cost?

So off we went to the AT&T store. We spoke with our customer representative (Ayla, which is easy for me to remember because it's the name of a cavewoman character in my favorite video game of all time, but I digress…), and she was great. She upgraded our antiquated data plan, made sure we understood the new plan, showed us where things could be improved to fit our needs, let us know who to contact about the $100 charge on our AT&T bill, and put up with our two insane daughters while my wife got her new phone set up. All in all, it was a great experience, but it was one that should never have happened in the first place. Why? Because Apple is intentionally breaking their older iPhones (if two years is considered "old") so their customers will buy the newest model. If you're not aware of this practice (YES, it's real, and it's confirmed by Apple's corporate reps), read on. If you know about it, feel free to skip the next three paragraphs.

First, imagine a perfect product. Let's use a fish aquarium heater as an example. Its job is simple—heat water to a specific temperature so your tropical fishies don't freeze to death. A company could easily create a heater that would last for decades, but why in the world would they do that? Even if they charged double the price of typical heaters, they would still lose money because in those two decades' time, its customers would by three or four of those "disposable" heaters that crack or short out from routine use. So it just doesn't make financial sense for them to make a durable product when they could make one that works just long enough to keep the consumer coming back for more.

Now, take that principle to the tech world, and we have to look at things a little differently. For those of you old enough, you remember those first Nokia brick cellphones well. Why? Because they were indestructible, their batteries lasted forever, and they had service EVERYWHERE. They were perfect phones. Except, the most exciting game on them was Snake, and within a few years, the Blackberry (and all of it's thumb-injuring successors) had overshadowed the poor, reliable Nokia despite its inferior construction. In this way, the tech world kept consumers buying new products every year because the amazing technology advanced so rapidly. I mean, you'd be insane to use those boring old bricks that could only make calls and use T9 to text when there were newer phones out there that could take pictures and check electronic mail!

Then something happened. The technology started to stagnate. It kept improving, but not nearly as fast. All phones had cameras, internet access, and most importantly, apps. At that point, if a phone didn't break, it could be used forever while the user just downloaded whatever new apps that came out. Sure, the new apps would take up more space and demand stronger processors and whatnot, but a frugal user could make due for years and years. And that kind of return just didn't work for the tech companies. If they were ever going to be able to swim in a vault filled with gold coins a la Scrooge McDuck, they needed to find a way to keep selling new products that consumers had no real reason to buy. And so, they invented the "update." Oh yes, you NEED this update! It'll keep your phone safe. It'll keep it running smoothly with all those new apps. It'll keep it… updated. But we should mention that those updates will eventually fry your phone's "old" processor, forcing you to fork out a grand every couple of years.

I'm not going to pretend to be tech savvy enough to outline every reason for this (and that's not what this blog's about, anyway), but we've all been victims of the sudden battery death, random crashing, and in my wife's case, microphone failure that happens immediately after one of these "updates." And as I said, this practice is documented and admitted. For the big companies, it's essential to keep them afloat. Heaven forbid that they keep giving us actual reasons to buy new products. No, they've already perfected the smartphone, so instead of creating something new, they've found ways to keep selling us the same thing. It's brilliant, in an evil mastermind sort of way.

Okay, back to the story. My wife got her new phone. She was safe for the next couple of years (though it's just a matter of time before MY phone dies of update sickness…), so now it was time to take the fight to AT&T's retentions department and see about that $100 charge on our bill.

Round 1: I called 6-1-1 and I spoke with the level 1 boss, though I didn't catch her name… She told it to me, but I didn't catch it. She was polite the entire time. She explained how there were, in fact, charges on my bill and how those charges were because we'd used data and call services in international waters. I explained (politely) that we hadn't authorized these usages because we turned off all cellular data, etc. and only used Wi-Fi while out of the country, and that I didn't plan to pay these extra charges. 30 minutes later and she let me know that she was going to "send this case up," and I should get an email within 24 hours. "No," I said, again politely, "I think I'll just talk to someone now." Brief (ten minute) pause, then [insert name here] said, "One moment please."

Round 2: Level 2 boss's name was John, and his accent fit his name. He, just like Level 1 Boss, took a good while searching through the charges and getting back to me, but he also remained completely polite the entire time. He explained that the Wi-Fi packages on most cruise ships only cover international water usage, and our AT&T charges had come while we were docked in port in Haiti. Why? Because my wife's phone started using the Haitian towers (instead of the cruise line's Wi-Fi) without our approval. It made perfect sense whether it was true or not, but John went on to tell me that, while he may not be able to get ALL of the charges removed, he would do what he could because we were, "…long-time valued customers." His words, not mine. Five minutes later, John took me off of hold and told me that he obtained approval to take $75 off of the bill, so we would only have to pay $25. Truth be told, I had no intention of paying ANY of that bill, but my interaction with John was so pleasant (I didn't have to ask him to reduce the bill. I didn't have to bring up the fact that we were valued customers, or that we could take our business across the street to Crickett Wireless. He knew all of these things, and he that knew I knew them. And he got the job done, or close to it) that he'd gained my respect. I wasn't going to fight John over the remaining $25, even if it did take over an hour to get that $75 knocked off. Game over. Roll credits.

So here's the thing—I'm a huge skeptic. With everyone I worked with throughout this debacle, I know that there's a possibility that they were all just working off of a script. That they did exactly as they'd been trained, performing damage control and getting every cent possible out of a tough customer like me. After everything, it's possible that AT&T and Apple still won. But at least they played the game. At least these REAL people listened to me and answered my questions, and in the end, the interactions were extremely pleasant. Yes, I get that I'm a number to the companies, but I was a person to their employees. And they treated me with respect. And I did the same with them.

My title poses the question of who's more evil between AT&T and Apple. Unfortunately, I don't have the answer to that question, but in THIS case, as much as it hurts me to say it, the bigger evildoer is definitely Apple. Why? Well, in AT&T's case, their charges were legitimate. My wife incurred roaming charges in Haiti because of the cruise line's failure to explain how their services worked. And even if John straight up lied to me about that, his company still only wound up stealing $25 (and one hour) from me. Apple on the other hand… they're openly breaking their own phones so their loyal customers have to buy new ones. And those new phones cost a whole lot more than $25. Yes, our experience in the AT&T store was pleasant while buying that new Apple iPhone (thanks to Ayla), but it should have never come to that.

In the end, we're victims of our circumstances. We're brainwashed by brilliant marketing. We're forced into competition with our neighbors. And there's only one thing I can say as I finish up typing this scathing report on my Apple MacBook Air—Joke's on you, Satan, er, Apple. Money's not real. No one really owns anything anymore. There's no privacy. No Freedom. The only things we have are our experiences, our interactions, and our attitudes. And as the days get longer and the grass gets greener, I can't help hoping Y2K is just running fashionably late (all you millennials should Google Y2K along with The Matrix and Surge soda. There's so much you've missed…). In the meantime, I'm going to go cut my grass with a lawnmower that's older than every piece of technology I own, and believe it or not, it's never had a single update. What a world.

[kentonramsey]

Exclusive Alejandro Collection, Jerome Lamaar, Tongoro Studio, Deviant la Vie and More on Creating Looks for Beyonce in Black is King: “I Feel This Project is a Huge Shift for Designers all Around the World”

Black is King was more than just a visual album: it was an onslaught of fashion, beauty, and style, celebrating the rhythm and flavors of Africa. Every designer involved in helping to create this masterpiece spent months divining looks that would pop on screen, and the process was nothing short of transcendent!

We tapped 5 designers including Tongoro Studio, 5:31 Jerome, Alejandro Collection and more about the process of creating their looks*:

Alejandro Collection

Alejandro of Alejandro Collection writes, “We started months in advance in the creation and masterminding process with the brilliant Zerina Akers. We changed shapes, colors, [and] textures numerous times as the settings, locations and moods changed to be ahead of fashion as Zerina and Beyonce are accustomed to doing. It feels astronomically surreal. My team and I are still processing. My business has exploded and fan base and following keeps growing. Life has changed forever

”

He added, “The design started when my jewelry designer friend Laurel Dewitt asked me to submit sketches to Zerina as options within the visuals they had in mind. I pushed for the blue lux fabrication, and the rest, as they say, is history.”

“Fun fact the train is 16 feet long.” Wow!

Vrettos Vrettakos

Greek designer Vrettos Vrettakos designed a shimmering, “crystal couture dress, created in collaboration with Swarovski.”

Vrettakos tells us, “We started to prepare the dress 5 months ago. We ordered the materials inspired from the Colors of Africa, [and] embellished the dress with crystal jewel fringes with the same crystals colors. [After] ...we made the custom made high boots, totally decorated in Swarovski crystals. [It took] about one month and half to finish.”

“We feel so excited and so passionate because this is not only another project. It’s a master social expression with feelings, thoughts, beliefs…It’s a real story about knowledge, art, fashion, music, [and Beyonce is making history]. All this got life from the genius mind and artist Zerina Akers. I am so grateful to be apart of this multicultural puzzle with amazing and super talented artists from all areas. And this is the hope that the art is a valuable, unstoppable [movement]… A [movement] able to change the world and share the message  that yes…. Black is King.”

Deviant la Vie

The designer Deviant la Vie writes, “Last year another designer named Timeekah Murphy from Alani Taylor (@alanitaylorco) and I collaborated on a project called the Zenith experience. It was to showcase our top work at the time. The goal was to take my rope couture and her aesthetic and combine them to create our best work. We both sat in our living room brainstorming and draping a mannequin and came up with 12 pieces. When we designed the white dress, we had Beyonce in mind of course. The hat was the icing on the cake for the look. After the event, we received a call from Zerina’s team and they picked it up.”

“We weren’t sure what it was for but if Zerina calls…you deliver!!! Haha! Timeekah and I are beyond excited! This was our second placement with her as a team. To see the red ropes…the yellow ropes and the white dress in motion is next level! Business is great. This time around we were able to get the credit we were looking to get with both brands.“

Tongoro

Tongoro Studio designer Sarah Diouf writes, “Reviewing the moodboard sent by Zerina Akers, I offered options matching Tongoro’s aesthetic, altering some of Tongoro’s classics such as the NGOR dress, to get a more editorial feel.”

“Our fashion love story with Beyonce started in July 2018, when she first wore our Zanzi set and Dress during her vacation in Italy, followed up with her trip to South Africa and the Lion King “Spirit” video last summer. To be able to see consistency in the use of our designs by an artist of her magnitude is such a blessing for a brand like ours – African – and Made in Africa. To be part of Black is King is even more symbolic and I’m very grateful for Zerina Akers and Beyonce.”

In closing, Diouf writes, “Following the first Beyonce x Tongoro moment, our business and notoriety have grown tremendously. I’m confident that is will only bring more exposure, and financial growth.”

5:31 Jerome

Bomb brand 5:31 Jerome experienced a resurgence with Black is King! Designer Jerome Lamaar says, “The whole process began last year in August for me, when Zerina requested some sketches.  Zerina and Beyonce chose which looks from the designs worked best, and it was my job to manifest it into reality!!! The best part was creating this new vision that has not existed before. “

He continues, “I’m humbled that I was granted this opportunity to create something for this very powerful body of work. I revisited my brand after years of not designing to create something special for Beyonce. I am in a different place creatively and this was the perfect opportunity to make something that felt right for me.”

In closing, Lamaar says, “As a man of color, from the Bronx, and self made, it’s important that we acknowledge how powerful this moment is for designers of color after fighting to be noticed. I finally feel this project is a huge shift for designers all around the world. The magic I speak about is the art of being seen….Beyonce , Zerina, KWASI and everyone who worked on this made it happen.”

Indeed.

See all the fashion from Black is King here.

*Answers have been edited for clarity.

Exclusive Alejandro Collection, Jerome Lamaar, Tongoro Studio, Deviant la Vie and More on Creating Looks for Beyonce in Black is King: “I Feel This Project is a Huge Shift for Designers all Around the World” published first on https://normaltimepiecesshop.tumblr.com/ Exclusive Alejandro Collection, Jerome Lamaar, Tongoro Studio, Deviant la Vie and More on Creating Looks for Beyonce in Black is King: “I Feel This Project is a Huge Shift for Designers all Around the World” published first on https://mariakistler.tumblr.com/

[aclearlyuniquecollector-blog]

Subaru Ending 01 Translation

Shu: --You've gone and done something troublesome haven't you? Subaru... ...

Subaru: ... ...

Shu: Killing the head of the family is a serious crime. You're going to have to go into exile. (TL: Since when did any of them care? Don't they in a ton of their routes keep talking about killing the head and taking his place??)

Subaru: Yes. I'm leaving tonight.

Subaru: ... ... Thank you for everything.

Shu: Don't die.

Subaru: Of course.

Subaru: --Yui.

Yui: !

Subaru: ... ...Here.

Yui: This is ... your silver knife... ...

Yui: ... ...Thank you.

Subaru: Hmph ... ... It's your reward for being a good girl and for waiting for me.

Subaru: ... ...See you

Yui: ... ...

Yui: --Subaru-kun... ...

Monologue - -Since that moment when he had kissed me and left, he ended up returning. But based on what Shu had said, Subaru can no longer stay in this house anymore. The head of the house... his father... and his mother too ...he killed them. Why... ...? He finally came back to me and now, will I ever see him again?

Yui: Subaru-kun!

Subaru: Ah, it's you. What's up?

Yui: I saw your back from the balcony and came to see you. ... ... Have you finished packing?

Subaru: Yeah, more or less. I never had much. The only thing I had of value to me... ...

Subaru: You already have it.

Yui: The silver knife ... ...

Yui: This knife is very important to you, isn't it?

Subaru: That's right ... ...

Subaru: ... ... That knife was given to me by my mother when I was just a child.

Yui: Your mother?

Subaru: Yes. My mother gave it to me and told me to treasure it.

Subaru: So that someday, I could kill my father.

Yui: !

Yui: ... ...

Yui: Subaru-kun... ...are you okay?

Subaru: Why wouldn't I be?

Yui: This ... well ... your mother ...

Subaru: ... ... Don't worry. ... ...I was just ending it, once and for all.

Yui: What do you mean ... ...?

Subaru: I've already told you, haven't I? It was my disgusting blood that made the white rose wilt and go mad.

Yui: ... ...Yes.

Subaru: The beauty of my mother was praised amongst the members of my family and for that reason, she was nicknamed "the White Rose".

Subaru: The White Rose... ..., that was dirtied because of my birth.

Yui: Subaru-kun, it was because of you?

Subaru: ... ... That's right. Due to my birth, my mother went mad... ...

Subaru: My father raped her, and I was born and so, the white rose wilted.

Subaru: The beautiful white rose, that everybody sung praises for wilted because of my dirtied existence.

Subaru: But even though she hated me...

Subaru: She wouldn't forgive herself for killing me or letting her life continue to pass.

Subaru: Time passes differently for us. Humans only have a life expectancy of maybe 100 years.

Subaru: .... ...We are vampires.

Subaru: Time passes so slowly that you can no longer see the end... you end up going crazy ...

Yui: ... ...

Subaru: Instead of letting her go crazy... and that damned  old man keeping her captive for all of eternity... I ... with these hands...

Yui: Subaru-kun... ...

Subaru: ... ... I can never forgive.

Subaru: The person who stripped the petals of the White Rose... ...

Subaru: ... ... and I, who made the White Rose wilt.

Subaru: That's why I erased everything.

Yui: Subaru-kun... ...

Yui: (He has a pained look in his eyes ... So that's why he hated the white roses in the garden.)

Yui: (He regrets wilting the White Rose that was his mother... and her change.)

Yui: (... ... That's why he thinks of himself as ugly and filthy and that's why he had that look of pain on his face ... ...)

Yui: ... ... And what are you going to do now?

Subaru: ... ... I do not know. I thought I would have discovered my old man's plans... ...

Subaru: It is very probable that he was the mastermind of all this ... ...but even my uncle seems suspicious to me.

Yui: Huh?

Subaru: ... ...well, how is your heart?

Yui: My heart? It seems fine now? Since you left last, nothing strange has happened.

Subaru: I see... ...

Subaru: ... ...she's disappeared, maybe... ...?

Yui: Subaru-kun? What's wrong?

Subaru: ... ... No, it's nothing.

Subaru: From this day onwards... ... white roses will bloom again.

Subaru: White roses will still be targeted by the madness of others.

Subaru: Madness, that I am going to eradicate. (TL: Thus Subaru joined Death Weapon Meister Academy)

Yui: White Roses? Are there more other than your mother?

Subaru: ... ... That's right.

Subaru: A White Rose of an extraordinary quality that belongs to me alone.

Subaru: ... ... No, wait. Instead of calling her a White Rose, she should be called a Queen of the Night.

Subaru: Smothered with the smell of the finest blood, it blooms only in the night, that fragrant white flower ... ...

Yui: ... ...

Yui: (Subaru-kun has a very soft expression on his face ... ...)

Yui: I see... ...

Yui: (White Rose ... Queen of the Night... ... it seems that Subaru-kun has someone very important to him ... ...)

Yui: (Though... ...it seems that I am not special to Subaru-kun after all)

Yui: (But still, I --)

Yui: --Subaru-kun, I have a request.

Subaru: Hm?

Yui: When you leave the mansion, I know you'll be encountering many troubles... ... and I don't want to be a burden... ... but...

Yui: Subaru-kun, I want to walk by your side.

Yui: Please, can I go with you?

Subaru: ... ...Yui... ...

Subaru: ... ... I'm not going to let you complain about this later.

Subaru: Until a moment ago I was still thinking about what I should do ...

Subaru: ... in order to take you with me without you knowing.

Yui: Like your prey? But Subaru-kun, you haven't sucked my blood for a long time, right?

Subaru: ... ... I thought that was the main target of that damn old man and my uncle ... ...

Subaru: If I sucked too much blood and encouraged you,

Subaru: You could say goodbye to the life you currently have.

Yui: "That damn old man" and "your uncle"? Main objective ...?

Subaru: ... ...It's in the past. Don't waste time thinking about it.

Yui: ... ...

Yui: ... ...Okay.

Subaru: (If Subaru-kun says its nothing, I'll choose to believe Subaru-kun.)

Yui: ... ...Then I have another request.

Subaru: What is it?

Yui: Could I... ...ever meet Subaru-kun's Queen of the Night?

Subaru: ... ... Hah? What do you mean?

Yui: You yourself told me about her a moment ago. Isn't she an important person to Subaru-kun?

Subaru: ... ...

Subaru: ... ...idiot, do I have to spell everything out for you... ...

Subaru: ... ... Come.

Yui: what... ...!?

Subaru: *kiss*

Yui: Huh, Subaru-kun?

Subaru: You don't know anything about yourself. No matter what sort of human being you are... humans never awaken just from their blood being sucked.

Subaru: That's because you have special blood ... ... hah... that you should stop complaining about such trivial things.

Subaru: --My precious Queen of the Night. (TL: When he says Queen of the Night, the characters say 月下美人 which translates to beauty under the moon. I’m not fluent in Japanese. I just recognize the kanji for it because of my Chinese.)

Subaru: ... ...Yui, it's you.

Yui: !

Yui: What? Me... ...!

Subaru: But you just said she was extraordinary... ... and I... ... I'm just your prey, for you to suck blood... ...

Subaru: .... Tch. I don't know how to deal with all of this.

Subaru: It's true, initially I only saw you as prey.

Subaru: But, even though you were just a human, I found myself becoming curious.

Subaru: You're dumb, short, stubborn, annoying and you're not sexy at all, but still ... (TL: Wow, thanks)

Subaru: When I first touched you... the first time I properly saw you, it wasn't because I saw you as prey.

Subaru: You never looked away from me even though I'm filthy, dirty. You saw me with your clear eyes... ...

Yui: Subaru-kun... ...

Subaru: ... Tch. Really, I don't know understand at all.

Yui: Hey! What's with that sound you made as though you're displeased!

Subaru: ... ...Hmph.

Subaru: *kiss*

Yui: Mm!

Subaru: ... ...I love you.

Yui: !

Yui: Subaru-kun... ...

Subaru: Hn... ... Is that enough?

Yui: ... ... Hey, what do you mean by that!?

Subaru: Hah? You're so annoying, I had no choice but to say it!

Subaru: ... ...Tch, it was a lapse. I will never say it again.

Yui: What... ... never again, for my entire life?

Subaru: ... ...

Subaru: That's right ... ...

Yui: Ah!

Subaru: ... ...Yui.

Subaru: I was going to say this after I prepared a bit more. But I'm just going to say it now.

Subaru: If you intend to live with me for eternity.

Subaru: Maybe I should say it one more time.

Yui: ... ... Huh? Forever? You mean... ...

Subaru: Your awakening is at an advanced stage. In your present state, your blood...

Subaru: --My blood.

Subaru: If you drink my blood, you'll be able to live in the same time as me.

Yui: !

Yui: (--If I drink vampire blood, I'll be able to live forever... ...)

Subaru: ... ... After this, I will be walking a long and rough road in order to eradicate the madness.

Subaru: It's not going to be a happy life that a human girl might want but ...

Subaru: Live in the same time as me. Walk by my side... Swear you'll be next to me, forever.

Subaru: Swear it.

Yui: Subaru-kun... ...

Subaru: Yes... ... I swear.

Yui: A happy life, a peaceful life, I don't need any of it.

Yui: As long as I have this, I'll be fine.

Yui: I'll always carry the knife you gave me ...

Yui: From now on, I will always be by your side Subaru-kun.

Subaru: ... ... Yes, for always. I'll never let you get away.

Subaru: ... ...I love you. * kiss *

[mbtizone]

Shane Harvey (Faking It): ENFJ

Dominant Extroverted Feeling [Fe]: Shane is keenly aware of the emotions of those in his orbit. He tends to meddle in the affairs of his friends and is good at understanding other people’s feelings. He often knows what his friends are feeling before they know. The reason Liam can’t bring himself to call Karma his girlfriend is because of the guilt he feels for sleeping with Amy, though Liam insists that it’s due to his fear of commitment. Shane can often be affirming, and will congratulate even those he dislikes if he feels they’ve excelled at something. He’s able to empathize with his enemies and is often driven to help his adversaries in their times of need. Shane frequently encourages people to talk about their feelings. He doesn’t hesitate to express his own feelings, so he admonishes people when they choose to bottle up their emotions instead of just letting it all out. He enjoys hearing about other people’s problems and wants to help them, though he can become a bit controlling at times, believing he knows what’s best for his friends and significant others. Liam needs to talk, not go to a MMA class! Shane is appalled that Duke chooses to be a spokesman for a corporation that donates money to anti-gay organizations and demands that he stop eating that “homophobic sandwich.” He often believes he knows what other people need and tries to convince them to handle things in the way that he sees fit. When Shane wants to take Lauren down, he recruits Leila and Lisbeth to give him dirt on her and manipulates them into spilling Lauren’s secrets by being kind to them, which gets the girls to open up about the pills Lauren takes.

Auxiliary Introverted Intuition [Ni]: It’s very rare for Shane to just be. He always has a goal he’s working toward or a vision that he’s trying to turn into a reality. When the school hires a new principal with conservative views, Shane’s immediate response is to spring into action, telling Liam that they need to put their heads together to come up with a way to stop him. Shane is very good at coming to accurate conclusions with little to no prior information. He correctly assumes that Lauren is in the art room hoping to run into Theo. Shane is extremely metaphorical, which he often incorporates into his sense of humor. He has a tendency to be incredibly manipulate and usually knows exactly how to play someone in order to achieve his desired outcome. He often masterminds situations to get exactly what he needs from people. Shane scares Karma by telling her that “lesbians move fast, and they are viciously territorial” and once he has her where he wants her, he casually suggests that Karma show up on Amy’s date with Reagan in order to avoid getting pushed out (which is an elaborate ruse to create a “group hang” so he can invite Duke, who cannot go on a one-on-one date with Shane due to his refusal to come out of the closet). Shane often believes he knows how events will unfold. The student body will turn on Lauren. She only won the election by playing the intersex card, but once they realize how drastic her “radical agenda” is, they’ll all turn on her. Shane is future-oriented and focused on how things could be. He doesn’t care about tradition. He prefers to think about how things can be changed for the better (though the motivation for his plans are typically selfish and his idea of “better” is often about how things can improve for himself). Shane often comes up with creative (sometimes symbolic) ways to bring about whatever change he is striving for. “If Principal Turner wants to strip us of our rights, then maybe we should strip to protect them. Naked protest!”

Tertiary Extroverted Sensing [Se]: While Shane is definitely a planner who often takes the future into account, he has an impulsive streak and often takes action in the heat of the moment that gets him into trouble later. Sometimes, he has a tendency to loop, ignoring his auxiliary function. Shane feels something and acts without thinking of the potential ramifications. He anonymously outs Duke for selfish reasons (he’s tired of having to hide their relationship and he wants to get back at him by ruining his life), without pausing to think about how Duke will react if he discovers the truth. Shane can easily allow himself to live in the moment and is comfortable with doing things just because they’re fun (such as participating in Lauren’s revenge plot). Shane cares very much about physical beauty and enjoys sensory experiences, whether they be drinking, singing, parties, or sex, and enjoys his popularity and status at Hester High.

Inferior Introverted Thinking [Ti]: Sometimes, Shane is able to quickly and easily spot flaws in logic, which he often points out, most often utilized in his sense of humor. When Liam convinces himself that Jackson Lee has taken an interest in him because he’s Liam’s birth father, Liam falls victim to confirmation bias after he spots Jackson in a photo with his mother. However, Shane points out that he’s been in “plenty of pictures with people he hasn’t impregnated.” Shane often spots loopholes that allow him to get his way. Karma refuses to crash Amy’s date because she had said it was too soon for double dates, so Shane says he’ll bring Duke, which makes it a group hang and not technically a double date. Amy never said anything about group hangs! Shane is quick to point out that none of Lauren’s plans for revenge against Theo are practical. “I mean, arsenic poisoning could take weeks.” He doesn’t understand why she doesn’t just out him as a narc if she wants to get back at him so badly. He’s able to break things down into simple terms that are easy for anybody to understand. Shane tends to lead with his emotions and can sometimes struggle to detach from them, which often leads him to make impulsive decisions based on the way he feels in the moment.

Note: I’ve seen Shane typed as both ESTP and ESFP. While he does have all of the functions for ESTP, I don’t believe he leads with Se. He always has a plan, he’s a natural at organizing the people around him to achieve a common goal, and his Ni is far too developed to be inferior. Shane fights for what he believes in and is nearly always on a mission to fight injustice or achieve change that aligns with his personalized vision of the way things should be. He also definitely favors Fe/Ti over Fi/Te. Shane always wants to talk about his feelings and gets others to open up about theirs, has a tendency to be emotionally manipulative, and is extremely aware of everybody else’s feelings all the time.

Enneagram: 3w2 7w6 8w7 So/Sx

Quotes:

Karma: If you’ve come to kick me while I’m down, just please don’t. Shane: I came to say I admired your honesty earlier. I wouldn’t be surprised if you win. Seriously, I’m not playing mind games. Karma: So what, are we friends now? Shane: I wouldn’t go that far. But I do have empathy for you and your situation.

Shane: Quit taking it out on these innocent art supplies. Liam: Shane, really, I don’t want to talk about it. Shane: That’s just your straight guy resistance to talking about your feelings. Push through it. Theo: What are y’all on about? Shane: It’s Karma’s birthday, and Liam can’t be with her for reasons too complicated and fucked up to specify. Theo: Wanna go hit stuff? Always makes me feel better. I’m taking this mixed martial arts class downtown. Shane: Nice try, Theo, but what Liam needs is to talk it all out over some grilled cheeses at Millie’s Diner. Theo: What is this, The View? Liam: Shane, I’m sorry, but that class is just what the doctor ordered. Shane: You’re not the doctor. You’re the patient. You can’t prescribe your own medicine. Theo: Wow, you really think you know what’s best for everybody, don’t you? Shane: It’s a gift. Liam: We’ll talk it out later, I promise. But right now, I just want to punch someone in the face without getting arrested. You wanna come? Shane: I’ll pass. It all sounds a bit too aggressively heterosexual for me.

Shane: Have to say, not so sure if this whole “giving Amy space” plan is the right move. Karma: What do you mean? Shane: I mean that while you’re off giving her space. Reagan could be burrowing herself deeper into Amy’s love nest. Lesbians move fast, and they are viciously territorial. Karma: Amy would never date anyone like that. Are you messing with me? Shane: Fine, if you think being a former fake lesbian makes you an expert on the gay community, go ahead, take your chances. Or you could coincidentally show up on their date Saturday and show Reagan that when it comes to Amy, you are the free gift with purchase. Karma: I don’t know. Amy says it’s too soon for double dates. Shane: I’ll tell you what. My trainer and I will come along too. Then it’s a group hang. Amy didn’t say anything about group hangs, did she? Karma: Technically, no.

Duke’s Father: Oh! All right, let’s see that killer smile. Bring the chicken burger closer to you. There we go. Shane: Don’t! I can’t stand here and watch you do this. Cluck-n-Go is a horrible corporation that has fired gay employees and given millions of dollars to anti-gay causes. Duke’s Father: They also give money to M.M.A. fighters, so less talkin’, more eatin’. Shane: Look, if you don’t want to be a role model, I get it, but it’s on a whole other level to be the spokesman of a company that’s actively working against our rights. Duke’s Father: Son, we’re not selling politics. We’re selling chicken. Eat the damn sandwich. Shane: Don’t eat that homophobic sandwich. I hope you don’t choke on it. I know you have a tricky gag reflex.

Shane: We got to stop this guy. Let’s meet after school and come up with a plan. Liam: Uh, I can’t today. I’ve got to go to the dentist. Shane: This is important. I heard he turned the art studio into a storage room. Liam: And I’m really upset about it. But he books up weeks in advance.

Lauren: Just click here to accept the terms and conditions. Shane: If you don’t mind, I’d prefer to read them first. What? Have any of guys read this? This is longer than my grandma’s Christmas letter. They want us to play by their rules. But Hester High has always been about breaking the rules. We question tradition. We trust each other. We stand up for the little guy. Can I get an amen, Brenda?

Shane: Fellow students, if Principal Turner wants to strip us of our rights, then maybe we should strip to protect them. Naked protest! Naked protest! Naked protest! Naked protest! Naked protest!

Lauren: Hello, Amy. Shane. I think it would be best for everyone involved if you two leave and we never speak of this again. Amy: No, we need to talk about this. Shane: Yeah, we really need to, because this is all wrong. None of these revenge scenarios are practical. I mean, arsenic poisoning could take weeks. What are you doing? If you want to get back at Theo, why don’t you just go to his new school and out him as a narc? Lauren: Outing people – that’s your solution to everything, isn’t it? It’s too simple and totally obvious.

Shane: Grr! Young Jackson Lee was cute. Liam: And that’s Robin in the same picture. That’s proof! Shane, he’s my dad! Shane: I don’t know. I’ve been in plenty of pictures with people I haven’t impregnated.

Shane Harvey (Faking It): ENFJ was originally published on MBTI Zone

[pokemaniacal]

Pokémon Moon, Episode 14: In Which Literally All Hell Breaks Loose

Even if Lillie and I are both working to stop Lusamine, save her, or both, I’m still not sure I trust her.  If I’m going to help her summon a legendary Pokémon capable of wreaking an age of eclipse upon Alola, I want my own damn legendary Pokémon in case things suddenly turn pear-shaped… and luckily, I know just where to find one: back on Ula’ula Island, just across the bay from Aether House.

When I present Left and Right with my Zygarde Cube – now containing enough cells to manifest Zygarde’s serpent form – they take it with reverence and begin chanting something ominous-sounding in Old Kalosian.  Using their arcane devices, they assemble Zygarde’s body from its fragments, their chanting reaching fever pitch as its form coalesces.  Addressing me as “Apostle of the World-Shaker,” they command me to take Zygarde and use it to crush the unbelievers of Alola in a final crusade of wrath and vengeance that will level the injustices of the world and bring perfect order to this sinful region.  I make some vague, noncommittal mumbling noises and then slip out the door with Zygarde’s Pokéball while they’re not looking.

Zygarde is one of the most inscrutable Pokémon around.  I still have no idea what it’s even doing in Alola, and its sense of justice, balance and order is a little alien to me.  But I know one thing: the kind of chaos that the Ultra Wormholes and Ultra Beasts will bring to the region is anathema to Zygarde, and fighting other legendary Pokémon is what it was made for.  In generation VI, its Aura Break ability was only useful against Xerneas and Yveltal, since they were the only Pokémon with Aura abilities, but here in Alola… I suspect, and have every intention of testing this suspicion, that the auras used by both the Totem Pokémon and the Ultra Beasts to increase their powers will also fall under Zygarde’s influence.  Gladion thinks his weird-ass Pokémon is a beast killer?  Wait until he sees my weird-ass Pokémon…

The team:

Tane the Decidueye Male, Timid nature, Overgrow ability Level 40 Steel Wing, Razor Leaf, Synthesis, Spirit Shackle

Rhea the Toucannon Female, Lax nature, Keen Eye ability Level 39 Screech, Roost, Beak Blast, Brick Break

Ashley the Psychu Female, Timid nature, Surge Surfer ability Level 39 Discharge, Hidden Power (Ice), Nasty Plot, Psychic

Joanna the Salazzle Female, Timid nature, Corrosion ability Level 39 Flame Burst, Nasty Plot, Sludge Bomb, Toxic

Sigourney the Golisopod Female, Careful nature, Emergency Exit ability Level 40 Brick Break, Payback, First Impression, Leech Life

Zygarde Genderless, Sassy nature, Aura Break ability Level 30 Safeguard, Stone Edge, Dragon Dance, Thousand Arrows

[drink-n-watch]

Back Rank Mate : A checkmate that occurs when your king is trapped behind a wall (usually a wall of your own pawns) on the back rank, and a queen or rook attacks on the back rank.

You know, I think I’m just going to reiterate my thoughts from last week – OMGWTFBBQPURPLEMONKEYDISHWASHER. What the heck is this show doing to me? All I know is that if I was to exist in the Promised Neverland universe, I would be pretty safe since this show has melted my brain. Hyperbole you think… maybe a smidge.

Still, I am grateful that Crow is here to keep me from completely losing it and you’re grateful too. Trust me. He makes these posts! Also, let me apologize in advance for this but I took an unreasonable number of screencaps again. If this post has been loading for  minutes…that’s why… sowwy…

But before we get started, how are you Crow?

Well, for starters, I’m bold this week! And for another, there’s no way I’m getting through this review without dropping some spoilers, so everyone beware!

Come to think of it, “everyone beware” is pretty good advice for anyone watching this show! Purple monkey indeed!

everything’s fine!

I’m just trying a little small talk to ease us in because this week got heavy! Unlike the usual light hearted slice of life comedy The Promised Neverland usually is….

This level of removal from reality is a different perspective for you! Looks like the show’s getting to you — and I certainly understand why!

If you’ve read our reviews before you know this, but it’s spoileriffic. If you don’t want to know what happens, please come back after you’ve watched episode 9.

oh no! not spoilers!!!

Last week ended on a double whammy courtesy of Moma as she broke the leg of one of her beloved daughters without hesitation, while gently announcing the execution of a beloved son. And this week brought us straight back to that devastating scene adding a few new details to the mix. I must say the impact was not lessened by repetition!

Just in case the show didn’t twist the knife quite enough last week!

If last week it dawned on me just how outmatched the kids were, this week the kids are starting to really realize it as well, and it’s heartbreaking. Don and Gilda were being held together by the other three but now that they’re seeing them unravel, they are left rudderless and very very scared. The juxtaposition of the bright sunny day and soft green grass, and the dire straits the kids are in made everything just a little sadder, don’t you think?

The imagery was great — it was almost taunting our heroes with a false normalcy.

the ephemeral nature of life is both tragic and beautiful 

The scene went from Don, Gilda and Ray barely holding it together to a cool and composed Norman sweetly comforting Emma. I thought “this child is terrifying”. The composure…the strength. The sheer loyalty to Emma that he would consider his own life immaterial as long as she’s fine. Honestly Norman is one impressive young man.

Did you see what Emma did the instant she woke up? She reached for him. That gesture was heartbreaking in its simplicity; in the trust it implied.

I saw – I screencapped

And then, his mask slipped. When finally alone, it became apparent that Norman was far from fine. He was horrified and lost. He did not want to lose his life. All of this was shown in a quiet patient scene. The emphasis and emotion expressed through long shots of nothing much. The lack of motion letting the emotion shine through rather than any overt display. I quite like that! So it turned out that Norman was just pretending for the sake of his friends. And I thought, Norman is a supremely impressive young man!

You could see the moment his will snapped. He had been pushed past what he knew he could handle, and he was faced with the question: What next?

While Norman was trying to calm himself, we jumped back to Ray who was by far the most agitated we’ve ever seen him. Ray seemed to accept his own potential demise with bitter but stoic resignation. However, the thought of Norman getting shipped out has gotten hm enraged and panicked. For a second, I thought it was a mix of feelings for his friend and of the discomfort of having his plans ruined. I thought Ray was intimidatingly impressive.

The sight of Ray, who for so long had plotted and planned and executed, coming to grips with the idea that not only were his plans ruined, but his understanding of their world was flawed to the point where he had no idea what to do. And still, after venting a bit, he started to rein himself in. These are pretty impressive kids! I’m pretty sure I wasn’t that composed (or intelligent or — thank heavens — tasty to demons!) at their age.

Ray was my rock…this shattered me

Having come back to his senses a bit, Norman decided to rejoin Emma. Did you notice the CG Crow? Of course you did, it was pretty obvious. And I think that was on purpose. Thinking back, I’m pretty sure the CG has been used as a narrative tool in this series.

The CG was only used in the scenes of Norman walking the hallway alone, even though we saw extremely similar scenes of Ray, Don or Guilda. And even though the CG was obvious, it wasn’t excessive. I think the slight uncanny dissonance, plus the impact on the character’s movement was used to make those simple scenes of Norman just walking that much more weighty and uneasy. I may be reading too much into this…

It reminded me a little bit of some of the photographic effects Alfred Hitchcock would use him his films. This show is very much in that tradition!

ok, still images don’t give you the right idea

We then got another classic scene of three small kids talking in a bedroom. This is 98% of the show and it’s still giving me anxiety.

I’m sure the conversation was littered with clues and foreshadowing but quite unlike myself, I couldn’t pay attention to that. I was actually too emotionally invested. Weird huh?

I appreciated this quiet scene, because it helped me process everything we’ve learned in the last 30 or 40 minutes of storytelling!

Emma and Ray have decided that Norman getting shipped out was simply not an option and came up with a simple but promising plan. Norman should disable his tracking device and hide just beyond the wall until they can join him once Emma is healed up. At this point Ray explained some simple gut-wrenching facts. The children are afforded a comfortable happy life because they’ll taste better that way. That’s all.

As Ray was talking and Norman seemed dubious I started to wonder why did Ray seem so desperate for Norman to live? He was the one saying that saving everyone was impractical. Their plan is riddled with potential pitfalls and unknowns. Ray of all people should accept Norman’s willingness to sacrifice himself for the greater good. And when Ray cried out, “If you die then what were the last 6 years of my life for?”, I realized something.

Ray has a bad poker face

Ray isn’t the cool and composed mastermind he makes himself out to be. This boy who since the age of five has patiently collected trinkets to create a disarming device all on his own without anyone noticing. This boy was a bleeding heart hero type. He may not be able to save everyone, but he needs to save his friends at least. How cute and innocent. How naive to think you can just throw them out there. This is why he had to accept Norman’s argument that should he escape neither Emma or Ray would be taken in his stead and sacrificing another for your own life is unbearable. Because he’s just a kid who loves his friends, that’s all. Ray is truly and undeniably impressive.

Have you noticed how easy it is to be stoic on behalf of someone? I’m borderline competent on my own. On behalf of my family or friends? I can be quite a different person, or I can at least seem that way. I see that in Ray, and in how Ray reacted when Norman was trying to give himself up. The walls just come tumbling down!

I have but then again, I’ve never been in a situation where I really thought I could die. Maybe survival instinct would kick in..

Just when all that panic, fear and loathing cam crashing together, that’s when Emma decided to be Emma and do what she does best. Just smother everything in powerful optimism backed up by short sighted but surprisingly rational propositions. Break Ray’s arm. If they’re both hurt, then they won’t be replacements – Norman can escape with his mind at ease. This emotional release allowed the kids to get back to themselves a bit. A nice little reprieve.

and just Norman

I couldn’t help but wonder – won’t Gilda or Don be chosen then??? It seems that wasn’t too much of a concern to the others.

They needed a little short-sightedness to keep themselves together, I think. I also wonder if either Don or Gilda would be considered a real replacement? If Emma, Norman, and Ray are prime grade, Don and Gilda would likely be choice. Still a fine grade, but not interchangeable. Maybe. I’m feeling strange talking about our heroes as grades of beef…

Say Crow, any thoughts about the fact that Ray knew right from the start? I think that may be better, since you don’t lose anything? Then again, maybe not.

The show’s doing such a good job at presenting Ray as a complex character that honestly, I’m not sure! It certainly could be!

there was tons of Norman in this episode, really!!!

The next day, Norman’s escape plan is ready to go. They have a new rope, a last hide and seek game, everyone knows their part. Momma informs the entire house that Norman is going to be “adopted”. First – darn you Phil! Second – some of those kids were crying a little more than justified, don’t you think. Maybe Emma and co. aren’t the only ones to know the houses secret?

I had that impression, too — especially that one little girl Norman had to hug!

um..it’s going to be…”o.k.”?

That was an exciting scene. Much like the rest of the episode, it used quick cuts beween the main characters as we saw Norman making his way to the wall and finally climbing it, while Emma and Ray are simply waiting back at the house. It got my blood pumping! And those colours were stunning.

Did you see the looks the kids were giving Isabella? Chilling!

As evening set in and the kids were getting ready to go in for dinner, I was actually holding my breath a little. And then, Norman just slowly walked back. After which, we finally find out what’s behind that wall. Talk about a cliffhanger!!!!

I see what you did there!

oh my

When we first see Norman climb to the top and look out, were you afraid we weren’t going to find out what he saw? I was all like, “Oh, no, Promised Neverland! Don’t you dare make me guess!”

And then we found out.

It might have been better had they made me guess!

And did you notice how self-satisfied Momma looked? Of course she knew what was beyond the walls. Of course she could guess what Norman’s reaction would be! Just another sign of her supreme control over the situation.

Krone who?

By the way, we saw Norman discover Krone’s pen and box in a drawer, but once again they didn’t show us what was in it. ARGH!!!

So this is Norman’s last day. Their plans are in ruins; their emergency plans are in ruins; and Phil is still smiling way too much. I have no idea how they’re going to get out of this, and honestly, I don’t want to guess! The show is doing a delightful job of entertaining me, and I don’t want to get in its way.

Irina, what’d you think of the music in this episode?

I’ll be honest I didn’t notice it. My mind got kidnapped by the plot. But tell me about it!

shhhs Phil

Starting just after Norman’s will crumbled , a simple piano melody starts playing. The camera switches to Ray, but the melancholy song continues and underlines their desperation — that begins to harden into resolve.

It’s a simple tune that lets the acting speak for itself. It ends when Norman enters and sees Ray and Emma’s serious expressions.

Later, as Norman’s running for the wall, there’s a more upbeat, drum-driven song with a woman’s beautiful voice harmonizing — no words. Emma and Ray try to stay calm, but the almost pop beat is more to support Norman’s spring to the wall than their attempt at patience. The woman’s voice disappears until Normal reaches the wall and makes it to the top. The crescendo? When he stands, shocked into silence, at what he sees on the other side of the wall. The music disappears, too.

The inarticulate voice lent an air of desperation that I recognized only in retrospect — when se see Norman’s shattered expression at the end.

whoa! I need to rewatch this episode…if I can

This show, man…..

The Promised Neverland Episode 1

The Promised Neverland Episode 2

The Promised Neverland Episode 3

The Promised Neverland Episode 4

The Promised Neverland Episode 5

The Promised Neverland Episode 6

The Promised Neverland Episode 7

The Promised Neverland Episode 8

You know, when I get really engrossed in a show, I can’t stop taking screencaps…

      The Promised Neverland Episode 9 – Back Rank Mate Back Rank Mate : A checkmate that occurs when your king is trapped behind a wall (usually a wall of your own pawns) on the back rank, and a queen or rook attacks on the back rank. 2,408 more words

[sarahdraimanflowerpouch]

Making Changes :: Rose of Sharon moves from Retail to Studio Model

Making Changes, especially big ones, are always so hard for business owners and I think it helps to read what others are doing to change their business models to make it work better in their own lives. Here we are sharing the story of Althea Wiles, owner of Rose of Sharon in Arkansas, who recently moved from a Retail Shop to a Private Studio Model for her flower business. Thank you, Althea, for sharing your story with our flirty fleurs readers. -Alicia

This April marks my 21st anniversary as a business owner. My business is now old enough to drink! That’s a long time. A really long time–especially for a small business. As you can imagine, I’ve gone through several major changes during that time. I used to say that I hate change. But that’s not really true. What I dislike is the time in between. The time where you know you bought 5 boxes of that particular vase but you can only find 1. The time where you’re shuffling the same box 10 times because you don’t quite have a spot for it. The change itself can be invigorating. So why (and how) did I make this move this year? Was it a step backwards? HOW did I fit 1500 sf of stuff into half the space? What was I thinking?

  Getting to the point where a change was GOING to happen Three years into in my retail space, I got very close to quitting, to giving up and moving on to something new. It was a year of personal trials and major life changes. If you have been there, then you know it’s incredibly hard to focus on making something pretty during those times – much less any of the many, many, many other tasks that fall to us as the owner. Did the business suffer? Yes, of course it did. That year was actually a pretty good one on the books. But the pipeline suffered. I didn’t have the time or energy to keep all the plates in the air. So I didn’t. I did what had to be done, and moved on to the next thing. For a solid year. By the end of that year, I wanted to quit, move, live in a cave and not talk to anyone ever again. Next came the soul searching, spending hours imagining what I’d do instead. Would I go back to school? Would I work for someone else? Would I sell or just close up shop? In the end, I decided that I really, truly and STILL love this job and this industry. But I wasn’t in love with how I had things set up. I resented having to have store hours just in case someone dropped in to buy something. It was always for something inexpensive and generally for something I didn’t have. I hated having to have staff on hand because of those set hours. I felt responsible for my employees. I’d made a promise to them. They and their families depend on the income they make from me. They may be part time, but those hours matter to their bottom line. So I felt like I had to provide the hours (even if it hurt the business). Keeping inventory on hand just in case I needed it (both fresh and hard goods), bugged me. It went against my budgeting brain. I much prefer an event that is paid in advance. So why was I doing business like this? Finally, I realized that the 1500 wonderful square feet of storefront had turned into 1500 square feet of storage. That’s a lot of stuff. And I only really utilized the full space for designing 3 or 4 times a year.

  Doing What I Really Love vs. What I “Should” Do As a florist, I love making people smile, fixing a problem, making something beautiful, making something beautiful within budget, planning & executing the details and delivering an event on time, curating nature, designing with strong mechanics.

All these things didn’t need a retail base.

Once I decided that I wanted to stay in the industry, I decided to spend some time working on the business side of things. Most of what I do has been self-taught. I decided to enroll in a mastermind group and learn more about how to separate myself from my business. During that course, we did the usual goal setting and accountability. I picked up some good tips. I learned some new skills. But most importantly, I realized and came to believe that a storefront did not make me a ‘real’ florist. It didn’t legitimize me. My time at the design bench, my 20+ years of working as a designer and a business owner, my reviews from past clients made me legit, and that was all I needed. “Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real. It was my Velveteen Rabbit moment. I am a real florist and a real business owner. And now it was clear. I could do what I loved from a place I loved. I could still design & sell weddings from a home studio.

  Making the numbers work for a move

So now I knew that moving felt right. But did it make sense from a business perspective? I ran the numbers. ● Retail (i.e. non-pre-planned, single designs…birthday, get well soon, etc) was about 20% of my income. And walk-in was only 30% of that (basically 7% of my gross income). The profit margin on those orders was significantly less than the profit margin on my weddings and events. Taking away the ability to walk-in and place an order might make me lose 7% of my income and it was the 7% that was the most headache and the least profitable. I ran more numbers. ● I looked at my overhead and realized I could reduce my expenses by a significant chunk….about 9%. MORE than what I potentially could loose. ● Not to mention payroll. With a home studio, I didn’t have to pay employees unless we had a paying gig. I much prefer doing that.

● Video meetings are now pretty much an accepted business practice. I’d slowly been moving towards this and now by simply stating ‘all initial consultations will be by phone or video’ it happens. No push-back from clients at all. So yes, the numbers made sense. So far, so good.

  But could I actually work from home as a floral designer?

Well, I’ve done it before, but would it still work? I started thinking about the flow of my house. What would change, what I could keep. What I minded letting go of. I have the space. I could easily arrange it so the business and home life were mostly separated. I needed to build an out-building to hold coolers. Finally, when I started talking about the idea with the people in my mastermind group and with a select few customers, I got overwhelmingly good responses. I had one response that wasn’t positive & that was only luke-warm. (I might have lost a wedding from it…I’m not sure. It was during my very last-in person consultation. I probably should have done it by video.) The move felt right. The numbers sounded good. The move was on!

Making the move happen

THE MOVING PIECES Planning the details. Lists, schedules, and more lists! So many details to remember. But I’ve been handling details for events for 20 years. By treating the move it like any other event made it pretty comfortable. I won’t say easy because….all the details! My decision to move was in July. Moving day was scheduled for Thanksgiving week because we had no events that week. By early November, we were moving things one van-load at a time. The week before Thanksgiving, I had 6 events scheduled for Black Friday through the following Monday. THAT was not exactly fun. This was the only time where I felt like I might have made a bad decision. But we got through it. And then we started getting things in their place. And everything felt good again. It’s been a few weeks now. I absolutely LOVE working from home. I love being able to leave when I want. I’ve only had to turn away 2 orders but I’m developing relationships with other florists who do love the everyday orders. I love having employees only here when I need them. I love being able to do laundry or take a nap if I need to. And I love the new set-up. I smile when I walk to work now. I don’t resent long hours any more.

  Change happens, learn to expect it

Will it change again? Probably. It seems to change every few years for me. That’s ok–I have the tools to make a new decision. Will this be successful? I don’t know. But if it’s not, I can always go back to school…or something. And in the meantime, for the first time in three years, I’m EXCITED about the work again! Happy new year! Happy new season! Oh YEAH… How did I fit 1500 sf of stuff into 850 sf? I haven’t. Not yet. I rented a storage unit and I’m slowly getting rid of inventory. I did a yard sale. I’m a master of “Tetris-ing” a room. Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day will feature whatever we have in stock. By this time next year, I plan on having pared it down to what we need and use, with a decent flow for working and no storage unit. I’ll buy just when I need something and I’ll focus on selling what I have and being creative. One of the most important jobs we have as a business owners is to be able to make key decisions for the benefit of the business. For me, eliminating retail and focusing on the work I most enjoy gave me back my passion for the work I’ve been doing for so long. It took focused effort to not only make the move happen, but also to commit to the move in the first place. Your decisions will likely be different than mine, but the process of making those decisions will probably be similar. My best advice? Lean into what you most enjoy, and find ways to make the business more profitable by keeping the focus on what you love. Do the research, ask for help, and remember that no one thing (a location, a certification, etc.) gives you credibility in the industry. Doing your best work for your best clients is really all that matters in the end.

  Contact Information: Althea Wiles https://www.roseofsharon-eventflorist.com Arkansas

via RSSMix.com Mix ID 8134970 http://bit.ly/2RhsmEF

[katiedodgshun81]

Making Changes :: Rose of Sharon moves from Retail to Studio Model

Making Changes, especially big ones, are always so hard for business owners and I think it helps to read what others are doing to change their business models to make it work better in their own lives. Here we are sharing the story of Althea Wiles, owner of Rose of Sharon in Arkansas, who recently moved from a Retail Shop to a Private Studio Model for her flower business. Thank you, Althea, for sharing your story with our flirty fleurs readers. -Alicia

This April marks my 21st anniversary as a business owner. My business is now old enough to drink! That’s a long time. A really long time–especially for a small business. As you can imagine, I’ve gone through several major changes during that time. I used to say that I hate change. But that’s not really true. What I dislike is the time in between. The time where you know you bought 5 boxes of that particular vase but you can only find 1. The time where you’re shuffling the same box 10 times because you don’t quite have a spot for it. The change itself can be invigorating. So why (and how) did I make this move this year? Was it a step backwards? HOW did I fit 1500 sf of stuff into half the space? What was I thinking?

  Getting to the point where a change was GOING to happen Three years into in my retail space, I got very close to quitting, to giving up and moving on to something new. It was a year of personal trials and major life changes. If you have been there, then you know it’s incredibly hard to focus on making something pretty during those times – much less any of the many, many, many other tasks that fall to us as the owner. Did the business suffer? Yes, of course it did. That year was actually a pretty good one on the books. But the pipeline suffered. I didn’t have the time or energy to keep all the plates in the air. So I didn’t. I did what had to be done, and moved on to the next thing. For a solid year. By the end of that year, I wanted to quit, move, live in a cave and not talk to anyone ever again. Next came the soul searching, spending hours imagining what I’d do instead. Would I go back to school? Would I work for someone else? Would I sell or just close up shop? In the end, I decided that I really, truly and STILL love this job and this industry. But I wasn’t in love with how I had things set up. I resented having to have store hours just in case someone dropped in to buy something. It was always for something inexpensive and generally for something I didn’t have. I hated having to have staff on hand because of those set hours. I felt responsible for my employees. I’d made a promise to them. They and their families depend on the income they make from me. They may be part time, but those hours matter to their bottom line. So I felt like I had to provide the hours (even if it hurt the business). Keeping inventory on hand just in case I needed it (both fresh and hard goods), bugged me. It went against my budgeting brain. I much prefer an event that is paid in advance. So why was I doing business like this? Finally, I realized that the 1500 wonderful square feet of storefront had turned into 1500 square feet of storage. That’s a lot of stuff. And I only really utilized the full space for designing 3 or 4 times a year.

  Doing What I Really Love vs. What I “Should” Do As a florist, I love making people smile, fixing a problem, making something beautiful, making something beautiful within budget, planning & executing the details and delivering an event on time, curating nature, designing with strong mechanics.

All these things didn’t need a retail base.

Once I decided that I wanted to stay in the industry, I decided to spend some time working on the business side of things. Most of what I do has been self-taught. I decided to enroll in a mastermind group and learn more about how to separate myself from my business. During that course, we did the usual goal setting and accountability. I picked up some good tips. I learned some new skills. But most importantly, I realized and came to believe that a storefront did not make me a ‘real’ florist. It didn’t legitimize me. My time at the design bench, my 20+ years of working as a designer and a business owner, my reviews from past clients made me legit, and that was all I needed. “Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real. It was my Velveteen Rabbit moment. I am a real florist and a real business owner. And now it was clear. I could do what I loved from a place I loved. I could still design & sell weddings from a home studio.

  Making the numbers work for a move

So now I knew that moving felt right. But did it make sense from a business perspective? I ran the numbers. ● Retail (i.e. non-pre-planned, single designs…birthday, get well soon, etc) was about 20% of my income. And walk-in was only 30% of that (basically 7% of my gross income). The profit margin on those orders was significantly less than the profit margin on my weddings and events. Taking away the ability to walk-in and place an order might make me lose 7% of my income and it was the 7% that was the most headache and the least profitable. I ran more numbers. ● I looked at my overhead and realized I could reduce my expenses by a significant chunk….about 9%. MORE than what I potentially could loose. ● Not to mention payroll. With a home studio, I didn’t have to pay employees unless we had a paying gig. I much prefer doing that.

● Video meetings are now pretty much an accepted business practice. I’d slowly been moving towards this and now by simply stating ‘all initial consultations will be by phone or video’ it happens. No push-back from clients at all. So yes, the numbers made sense. So far, so good.

  But could I actually work from home as a floral designer?

Well, I’ve done it before, but would it still work? I started thinking about the flow of my house. What would change, what I could keep. What I minded letting go of. I have the space. I could easily arrange it so the business and home life were mostly separated. I needed to build an out-building to hold coolers. Finally, when I started talking about the idea with the people in my mastermind group and with a select few customers, I got overwhelmingly good responses. I had one response that wasn’t positive & that was only luke-warm. (I might have lost a wedding from it…I’m not sure. It was during my very last-in person consultation. I probably should have done it by video.) The move felt right. The numbers sounded good. The move was on!

Making the move happen

THE MOVING PIECES Planning the details. Lists, schedules, and more lists! So many details to remember. But I’ve been handling details for events for 20 years. By treating the move it like any other event made it pretty comfortable. I won’t say easy because….all the details! My decision to move was in July. Moving day was scheduled for Thanksgiving week because we had no events that week. By early November, we were moving things one van-load at a time. The week before Thanksgiving, I had 6 events scheduled for Black Friday through the following Monday. THAT was not exactly fun. This was the only time where I felt like I might have made a bad decision. But we got through it. And then we started getting things in their place. And everything felt good again. It’s been a few weeks now. I absolutely LOVE working from home. I love being able to leave when I want. I’ve only had to turn away 2 orders but I’m developing relationships with other florists who do love the everyday orders. I love having employees only here when I need them. I love being able to do laundry or take a nap if I need to. And I love the new set-up. I smile when I walk to work now. I don’t resent long hours any more.

  Change happens, learn to expect it

Will it change again? Probably. It seems to change every few years for me. That’s ok–I have the tools to make a new decision. Will this be successful? I don’t know. But if it’s not, I can always go back to school…or something. And in the meantime, for the first time in three years, I’m EXCITED about the work again! Happy new year! Happy new season! Oh YEAH… How did I fit 1500 sf of stuff into 850 sf? I haven’t. Not yet. I rented a storage unit and I’m slowly getting rid of inventory. I did a yard sale. I’m a master of “Tetris-ing” a room. Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day will feature whatever we have in stock. By this time next year, I plan on having pared it down to what we need and use, with a decent flow for working and no storage unit. I’ll buy just when I need something and I’ll focus on selling what I have and being creative. One of the most important jobs we have as a business owners is to be able to make key decisions for the benefit of the business. For me, eliminating retail and focusing on the work I most enjoy gave me back my passion for the work I’ve been doing for so long. It took focused effort to not only make the move happen, but also to commit to the move in the first place. Your decisions will likely be different than mine, but the process of making those decisions will probably be similar. My best advice? Lean into what you most enjoy, and find ways to make the business more profitable by keeping the focus on what you love. Do the research, ask for help, and remember that no one thing (a location, a certification, etc.) gives you credibility in the industry. Doing your best work for your best clients is really all that matters in the end.

  Contact Information: Althea Wiles https://www.roseofsharon-eventflorist.com Arkansas

from Florist News http://bit.ly/2RhsmEF