#WHEN DOES A CARNAGE BECOME A METEOR

[cherriesandbonbons]

Is this Epic the Musical I hear...

What if Underverse 0.6 ended differently?

(I'm so glad I got this done before 0.7 Part 2 came out)

[ffxiv-angora]

Day 30: Abstracted

The final prompt ;__; It's a long boi too

Small TW: This takes place during the battle at Carteneau so there's violence, death, etc etc.

Tagging @caspianking since I stole Eli for this one lol

The sky was on fire. It was like nothing she’d ever seen before. Nothing she’d even imagined to be possible. Dalamud was falling. The very ground shook underfoot with every explosion and as soldiers charged forward into the chaos. It was loud. Too loud. The mix of cannon fire, magic, and screams was overwhelming. Angora could do nothing but stand with her feet firmly planted to the ground with her ears pinned flat against her head and her tail wrapped around one leg.

Someone gives her hand a squeeze, causing her to finally pull her eyes from the carnage happening in front of her. She blinks, looking up to the viera next to her. Eli. Her first and only friend. He gave her one of those goofy, crooked smiles of his just like always. But even that smile couldn’t hide the fear that was clear in his eyes that mirrored her own.

“Don’t worry, Kitty cat!” he shouted, lifting his gunblade to rest it on his shoulder. “Just remember the plan! We’ll be okay!”

That gods forsaken nickname earns him a sour look, but Angora nods and gives his hand a squeeze in return. That’s right. They’d made a plan between themselves and a few other trusted squadmates. Moons worth of secrets and hiding evidence. A plan to finally escape the clutches of the Garlean army to freedom. That freedom happened to be Eorzea seeing as the battle happened to take place in Carteneau, but anywhere not under Garlean rule would have been sufficient. All they had to do was stick together and move towards the edge of the battlefield. Then just...run like their lives depended on it when there was an opening. Because it did. If they were caught, they’d likely be executed immediately.

Angora’s grip on her bow tightened when she looked back to the battle. Their group wasn’t even fully aware of what the reason for this war was. It’s not like they were in any position to question it. All they knew was they were told that the Eorzeans, like themselves, were savages who needed to be crushed and held under Garlean rule. Something about primals and the Twelve? Was the falling moon their fault or the Empire’s? The only difference between the Eorzean “savages” and the squadron was the fact that they’d already been crushed. Captured and trapped. Forced to obey in hopes of living to see the next day. In Angora’s case, it’s simply all she’d known.

“Move it! Stop your stalling and get in there!”

Angora’s grip on Eli’s hand slips when she gets a firm boot the center of her back from the Legionarius who’d come up behind them. She stumbles forward, using her bow to catch herself before she could end up face first in the dirt. It took all she had not to shoot a glare over her shoulder. Thankfully, she’d had a lifetime worth of practice. Eli was quick to move to her side and address their superior for her.

“Of course, sir! We were just going.”

“You better be. Do not let me catch you hesitating again. For the Empire!”

Angora and Eli both gave him a “For the Empire!” full of forced enthusiasm that seemed to be convincing enough seeing as the Legionarius moved on. It’s only once he’s out of sight that Eli gives Angora a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and angles his head towards the battlefield. Angora nods, pulling an arrow from her quiver as they move forward.

Things become a blur and muted. Eli charges ahead to clear a path through the opposing side while Angora watches his back and picks off stragglers from a distance. He keeps the front safe while she keeps an eye on the rear. The rest of their squadron stayed in the middle. It wasn’t their first battle together but it was certainly the largest. Their moves are robotic and merciless. No care for the lives they were taking. If they didn’t strike first, it would be their bodies in the mud instead of the Eorzeans. They were doing fairly well...until they weren’t.

Their plan was still on track. They’d all managed to work their way towards the edge of the battle without rising too much suspicion. But the longer they fought, the harder it got to stay together. They were tiring as well. More attacks were getting past Eli as the Eorzeans pushed forward. An arrow here, a slash there. Had they been paying attention, maybe they would have noticed the group coming from the side. Maybe the plan would have worked.

Out of seemingly nowhere, a band of Eorzeans pushed in from both sides of the group. Angora was the first to spot it, but she was too late. Too far away for even Eli’s ears to hear her. There were too many explosions. Too much cannonfire and screaming. Angora’s scream was one of them. All she could do was watch in horror as their squadron was picked down and torn apart. Eli and Angora were split off in separate directions and Angora scrambled back just in time to get out of range of a flare that goes off in the center, knocking her to the ground.

“Eli!!” Angora screams, squinting to try and see through the flames as the spell fades. He had to be okay. He had to be. She narrowly dodges a swipe from a sword and wastes no time in shoving an arrow into the attacker’s throat. He looked as scared as she was. His face is forgotten the moment she shoves his body away. Angora fumbles to get to her feet, desperately scooping up her bow and whatever arrows she could find at her feet. It’s then when she sees that not only is the sky still on fire, now that very same fire was raining down onto the battlefield.

Meteors.

Why was this happening?! Wait- did the moon have cracks in it? For just a moment...the fighting stops.

It’s then that what looks to be a giant glowing pillar of some kind falls from Dalamud and collides into the Star, sending shockwaves of rock and dirt across a majority of Carteneau. Bodies and machines alike are also sent flying. Yet again it becomes so loud. It’s too much. It’s too overwhelming. One sound still manages to cut through, though. Angora’s ears turn toward the sound of a gunblade firing before she sees it. What she sees is a battered Eli way too far from her frantically fighting his way through a crowd of Eorzeans.

“Nonono...E-Eli! Don’t worry!” Angora shouts, climbing her way over destroyed magitek. “I’m on my wa-” She freezes. Eli had spotted her and their eyes met. The look he gave her made Angora’s heart sink into the pit of her stomach. Time slows. It was the same smile he always had...but full of so much sadness. He shoved a soldier to the ground before pointing to the mountain range behind her. He was...saying something. His mouth was moving but she couldn’t hear him over the roar of the battle happening around them.

“W-What?? I can’t-”

“Go! Get out of here! This is your chance!”

Angora’s breath catches in her throat. Eli’s voice just barely made it to her. Surely he hadn’t just suggested that she leave him behind. She couldn’t. Not him. Were those tears running down her face?

Angora hardly gets a chance to process it before a poorly aimed fire spell causes a blast nearby that sends her flying from off the magitek and back to the ground. Her ears are ringing and she can hardly see past the spots in her vision. Her first and only friend’s voice echoes in her mind.

“Go!”

She...she had to. There was no choice. He was right. This was the first and only chance at freedom that she would get. Twenty cycles of torment could finally be over.

“Damn it! Damn it all!”

Angora rolls onto her side, digging her fingers into the mud while forcing herself to stand. She does not look back. If she did, she wouldn’t leave. Her bow is quickly pulled over her shoulder before she takes off as fast as her legs could carry her. Eorzeans and Garleans alike are ignored as she bobs and weaves her way through the chaos. A blade catches her across the back, but she doesn’t stop. She only stumbles a few steps before blindly pushing forward.

I’m sorry, Eli. I’m so, so sorry. Please forgive me.

“Angora?”

Run. Run. Run. She was so close to the mountains. Beyond there was a forest where she could hide. She’d be safe. She had to be. If not for her own sake, then for the sake of Eli’s sacrifice.

“Hey, Angora~?”

Her lungs burn but she refuses to stop. Not until she is able to desperately dig her fingers into the stone and clamber her way over some of the large boulders at the base of the mountain. She spins around just in time to see one of those awful meteors coming right for her. The air becomes impossibly hot. It’s too late. It’s coming. It hurts-

“Angora!”

Angora startles, blinking a few times before looking up from her desk to squint at Eli. He was alive. It was by some miracle that they both were.

“Hellooo? Anyone home?” The viera leans forward to lightly knock on the top of Angora’s head right between the ears. Angora just tsks and swats his hand away.

“Oh hush, Rabbit.”

“Come onnnn! I’m hungry and you’ve been working all day! Let's go!” He about gets a book thrown at that smug face of his when he starts to shake her desk.

“Fine, fine. But you are paying this time.”

[reynesofcastamere]

Meteor Stream

(A/N: *siiiiiiiiiiigh* I have no self-control, apparently. Warnings for excessive violence, gore and intrusive thoughts. Set a couple of months before ‘Fragile Stars’ and ‘Fractured Comet’. Unbeta’d.) “Hallway is clear.” “Not clear! Not clear!” Calm assessment turns to frightened screams, the sizzle of burning flesh, and a rapid symphony of blaster fire. Maul’s sabrestaff returns to his hand after finishing its’ deadly arc, now putting the weapon to use to deflect and return incoming shots. The faceless drones of the Emperor still believe they have the advantage, even now. Foolish. His squadron shoots them in the back the moment the blast doors open, leaving the corridor littered with their corpses.

He steps over them without a second thought. “Report.” “Long-range communications are jammed and we’ve managed to sabotage or lock down the exits. The outside reinforcements are going to bleed when they show up.” Saxon sounds immensely pleased, even if he’s not in proper beskar’gam at the moment. Maul’s orders had been clear: Standard mercenary gear only. If Imperial intelligence manages to salvage anything out of what they leave behind, it would be that one of the surviving, treacherous Jedi had lead a group of the galaxy’s bottom-feeding muscle in some pitiful attempt at revenge for their Order. Much as the fiction chafes at him, it is useful. “Sliced into their short-range too. Been hearing some interesting chatter.” There is a gleeful edge to Saxon’s tone that immediately makes him suspicious, especially when Kast elbows her comrade sharply in the side. “Is it relevant to the mission?”  “Uh, not strictly speaking, but-”

“Then I do not care. Complete your objectives and keep communications to a minimum.” Maul states curtly, waiting only for their affirmatives before he stalks off. They do not have a great wealth of time to waste. There are plans for certain...experimental prototypes stored here that will prove quite useful, once acquired and modified to his standards. Yet this facility is merely the secondary target, a loud and violent distraction to leech obstacles and security away from the true prize. If his operatives succeed, he will have a backdoor into all Imperial communications for this sector. Information is where true power lies, my apprentice. Not in crude metal or munitions. One of his Master’s many useful lessons, even if the memory of Sidious’s voice has him gritting his teeth. Focus. There are more stormtroopers headed his way, but he also feels something...else. Slightly more distant. Familiar. White-armoured humans pour out into the hallway, taking up position and firing. Two of them are rotated like puppets on a turntable, shooting their comrades and sowing chaos in the ranks as he darts forward, deflection turning to lethal crimson arcs that send severed limbs and heads flying; This is what he was meant to do; Sabrestaff in hand, the Dark Side flowing through him with every pulse of his twin hearts, controlling the intricate flow of violence, discord, and death. His final target whimpers as Maul reaches inside with the Force and crushes his single, rapid-beating organ. Blazing eyes close for a moment in the aftermath, but then-His head jolts up as if catching a scent, lids snapping open and pupils dilating. Tano. She is here, he can feel it. Getting closer with every breath. Rage and hunger war with each other. On one hand, her potential interference infuriates him, on the other...Oh, the thought of her fully unleashed in combat and fighting for her very life stirs his desire to a fever pitch. Mine. No! He is not an animal to be led by such base urges. But at the very least, he does need to intercept her before his people do. It does not take long. Maul seals the door behind him as he enters what appears to be the mess hall. The name is certainly appropriate now, with tables and benches scattered all over the floor and corpses haphazardly strewn across them like broken dolls. He has arrived just in time to watch the tail end of her combat, deactivating his sabrestaff and placing it on his belt. She remains a thing of beauty in motion, arching and twisting through the air, utilizing gravity whenever possible to increase the momentum and power of her strikes. When the last trooper falls, she turns towards him, tense and wary for a moment before recognition sets in and she powers down her weapons. They stand, silent as he removes the hood and mask that have kept his more...prominent features concealed. The sight of her gaze skimming over his form and her tongue darting out to wet her dry lips decides his actions for him. Maul prowls forward, grasping her upper arms once close enough and backing her into the nearest wall. His fingertips glide upwards then, over her shoulders and the lovely column of her neck to cup her face between his hands. Before he can bend his head to kiss her, she’s holstered her ‘sabres and has jumped up into it, legs wrapping around his hips as their mouths meet. He growls into the contact, which is neither shy nor restrained. Her tongue is absolutely wicked when he allows it entry, and he reciprocates her passion with a near-vengeance. Nothing exists outside this moment but the heated press and slide of their lips and tongues, the shuddered inhales and muffled groans. Even with her armour, Ahsoka’s body is remarkably pliant, curving and fitting against him perfectly. He could have her, like this. Hear her scream as they rut together in the midst of carnage. She might not even mind- “We’ve got company. Evac is scheduled in 10 klicks. You have the plans?” Kast’s crisp voice interrupts his...idle musings and extinguishes most of his desire in one fell swoop. He withdraws just enough to give the woman in his arms a questioning look, and feels some relief when she nods. Maul had suspected that the Rebellion might want said schematics for similar reasons, especially if only one agent had been sent to handle the job. “Yes. Be advised that I will not be coming alone.” He is not letting her out of his sight until they can finish this properly, even if business must come first.

“Ah. You found your cuyan. I’ll pass the word along.” Kast responds, entirely unruffled by this development as he glowers. “You are not in the habit of making assumptions, Kast. I would suggest you do not start one now.” Maul’s tone carries a subtle hint of warning as he slips both hood and mask back on. He and Ahsoka had already disentangled themselves and were on the move, with her re-opening the door so that they could exit the mess hall more quickly. “There’s only one darjetii you keep tripping over, Mand’alor. Saxon was trying to tell you about the other intruder with lightsabres the buycise [buckets] were wetting themselves about. Kast out.” Was the dry, almost bored response before she cut off. He can feel a tic developing in his left eye while his companion is trying desperately not to laugh. Bane save him from nosy Mando’ade. “She does have a point.” Ahsoka remarks, still clearly amused. “Unless there’s someone else who’s been assigned to pester you lately?” He knows full well just what she is implying even in jest, and it briefly makes him see red. She is deliberately tempting him with the sly curve of her mouth and the sudden sway in her hips. If they were not in such a hurry, he would- No. Focus. “No.” Maul nearly spits out, but has no opportunity to continue as they become occupied with clearing a path to the pick-up point. They just make it, leaping inside the ship seconds before the docking ramp folds up and closes. Flush with victory and high on adrenaline, he presses her up against a stack of crates, practically devouring her mouth once he’d removed the barriers to that particular goal. One set of her fingers digs into his nape, a low moan vibrating in his chest when she matches his ferocity. “HA! Pay up!” He is going to kill Saxon, usefulness be damned. The full force of that thought is imprinted into his glare, watching his second-in-command wither and turn pale. “Er...I mean, welcome back, Lord Maul.” “Interesting way to debrief. The holocam footage should be illuminating for new recruits.” Kast remarks, expression placid as ever. He has the absolute worst Nihlus-damned luck and his inferiors should be thankful that he cannot punish them for flagrant insubordination while occupied with an armful of irritatingly-compassionate Togruta.  Ahsoka smiles, apparently content despite current circumstances, and he feels something lurch within his chest. Perhaps...He can be lenient, if the situation is allowed to improve. Soon. (A/N: *looks back up at fic* How in the HELLS did this start off with Maul’s Murder Hallway II: Stormtrooper Edition and end with teenage romcom shenanigans? I can’t even...Ah, well. Also introducing Rook Kast Has All Of The Chill, Gar Saxon Has None, And They Both Ship It. Neither Ahsoka or Maul have had their ‘Oh no’ moment yet at this point in the timeline, buuuut I’ve already written the result of Maul sort of having that revelation. Ahsoka’s will be arriving. Eventually. If I don’t keep getting sidetracked. Cheers!)

[miss-mishka]

The Old Guard (Image, 2017) vs Youth (comiXology, 2020): A Completely Biased Comparison

I don’t really know what this is, kind of a crack review, because I had more to say about these two recent reads than I could fit in my Goodreads reviews. So it will be a long read if you opt to proceed. Be warned: ADULT LANGUAGE BEYOND THE CUT, I make no promises that my words will be coherent throughout & sarcasm will abound as I discuss two mini/limited issue comic series’ that I’ve recently bought into.

They are: 

1)The Old Guard, 2017 Image Comics 5 issue miniseries release, written by Greg Rucka, illustrated by Leandro Fernandez

Main cast, above, left to right: Sebastien le Livre aka Booker; Nile Freeman (no alias, currently); Andromache the Scythian aka Andy; Nicolo di Genova aka Nicky; Yusuf al-Kaysani aka Joe. Noriko is also a related, but not pictured, character.

2) Youth, 2020 comiXology Original 4 issue miniseries, written by Curt Pires, art by Alex Diotto

Main cast, above, from left to right: River, Jan, Kurt, Frank. Trixy is also a main character, but not featured on this group cover. (That wasn’t deliberate on my part.  Since it’s a new series, I wanted a cover shot to help you if you want to shop for the series & this was the only one with most of the group clearly visible.)

So now let’s get to some plot.

The Old Guard is a group of warriors that are much harder to keep dead that your average person.  Their ages range from Andy, estimated over 6,000 years old, to Nile, 27 per issue #4. The hows & whys of their ability to recover from injuries up to & including death, are completely unknown, but the ability can end with the same lack of understanding as it began. Andy has found 6 others like her in her time on Earth. 1 has died.

Youth is the teenaged couple Frank & River running away from their home town, meeting up with the older teenaged, possibly early 20s,trio that comprises rest of their group. While fleeing cops, drunk & high after a party, the group’s van is struck by what appears to be a meteor. It does, but doesn’t kill them. They each get a special power from it & all can suddenly fly.

Their enemy/obstacle/villain:

For The Old Guard, it’s big pharma bro Steve Merrick; his security chief, former CIA agent & the one who led Merrick to Andy’s team, James Copley; and the ‘mad’ scientist Dr. Ivan.

For Youth, this is it.  Bootleg Nick Fury and the government resources at his disposal.  (Take note, this is the one clear win that Youth has over ToG.  I love & want more Don.)

Relationships:

Joe & Nicky

Andy & Noriko

Frank & River

Frank & Trixy (just hooking up to help ruin the actual relationship above)

While both comics have their group dynamics, they also have a clear gay couple at the center of their storylines.  For The Old Guard, it’s Joe & Nicky.  For Youth, it’s Frank & River.  But Frank seems to be questioning, as he’s drawn to his new female acquaintance, Trixy. Kurt & Jan also seem attracted to Trixy, but the relationships between those three are not explored in these issues.  River is most definitely immune to Trixy. So, Frank & River fall into the dysfunctional relationship category while Joe & Nicky, together over 900 years, are #RelationshipGoals.

So what’s the 411?:

For The Old Guard, Andy, Booker, Joe & Nicky sign on for a job from Copley to rescue some kidnapped schoolkids. Izza traaaaaaaaaaap! While the team decides to go on the offensive & track Copley down after he’s learnt their secret, Nile is killed in action only to find that she’s one of the ones that don’t stay dead easily. Andy goes to retrieve the new ‘recruit,’ the first since Booker in 1812, while the guys go to a safehouse to search for Copley.  When Andy & Nile finally arrive at that location, they find Booker recovering from severe injuries while Joe & Nicky have been taken. It becomes a rescue mission for their captured brothers in addition to the seek & destroy goals for Copley.  Along the way, Booker & Nile bond.  Andy’s a tougher nut to crack. While Booker tries to locate their targets, Joe & Nicky are being tortured by the mad Doctor “for science” in hopes of discovering a profitable immortality drug for Merrick’s biz. Booker conveniently finds the whole Merrick operation taking place in Dubai, so off they go for their rescue mission & revenge.  But...well, IZ ZA TRAP! Booker’s done with this undying thing & has sold the team out to see if Dr. Ivan can cure him of life while using the others to defeat death.  Andy & Nile, though, aren’t helpless lil ladies.  Neither are Joe & Nicky.  With rescue under way, Joe & Nicky convince the doctor to let them go, then kill him, then find the others, meet Nile for the first time, kill Merrick as one happy new family, take off for Malta(yeah, in the comics, they’re THERE again), vote Booker off their island for 100 years & then leave him alone to be found by one very salty Noriko - she’s well-brined after 500 years in the ocean & batshit insane, to boot. That’s the first of three arcs planned for this group.  About 160 pages over the 5 issues & not a panel wasted, in my opinion.

For Youth, River’s got a lousy step-dad, Frank has a lousy job; together they hate their town & lives, but maybe kind of love each other.  So River says let’s steal my stepdad’s cherished old Mustang & run off for California.  The car gets a flat, but there’s no spare to replace it & they ran away with no money because they’re teenagers.  While broken down in a Walmart parking lot, the car draws the attention of Kurt, who grew up learning some mechanical stuff, appreciating the classics & is willing to offer help. Upon hearing that it’s a flat tire & the couple has no means to replace it, the decision is made to torch the car (it’s a Mustang, HOW DARE YOU?!) & get into the van with Kurt & his two female travelling companions. The five barely exchange names before they’re off to a party where alcohol & drugs mix to make Frank & Trixy horny for one another. River sees them making out & starts to leave when the cops show up to raid the party with all it’s underage & illegal happenings.  River, such a sweetheart, is ready to leave Frank & Trixy to be arrested, but Kurt makes sure they all get away together in the van.  A high (emphasis on high cause Kurt did some cocaine at the party) speed chase ensues with just a little awkwardness among the group as they realize that Frank & River were together & Trixy only kind of cares that she was pulled into their mess. Before there can be arguments, hairpulling slapfights or other drama over the man, the speeding vehicle is demolished by a meteor slamming to Earth.  Except it may have been aliens? In issue #2 we see this:

After this faceoff, these celestial beings go at it, destroy what appears to be their home planet & create the space debris that hits the van & gives the youths powers.  It totally killed Jan for a little bit, but that’s ok because Jan has the best powers.  She came back from death & can track other powered people without Prof X’s massive Cerebro setup, which is handy when you’ve got Bootleg Nick Fury tracking you down because of the ‘anomaly’ that hit you. Trixy?  She’s got a temper.  When Don Thunder descends upon them with a small army of soldiers, Trixy turns them into twisted piles of gore and metal.  I’m not sure what she did, but it was messy.  I imagine in a movie the squish, crack, snap, pop, burst & splat sound effects would reign in that moment.  With that dealt with, the group makes plans for what they should do next.  Which is apparently, rob an armored truck (can anyone guess whose idea it was?) because they have no money for food or lodging.  The heist does not go to plan because the guard driving the armored truck is distracted so he doesn’t see River standing in the road trying to stop the vehicle until the newly powered kid STOPS the vehicle.  I’m pretty sure the guards, especially the driver whom they made sure we knew had a pregnant wife, are dead.  Frank’s upset about this, blames River, who honestly could have flown off as soon as he realized that the truck wasn’t stopping as planned & the now very strong River smacks Frank into a wall.  This pairing is not destined for 900 years together, I imagine Yusuf would continuously chop off his hand rather than strike Nicolo in a non-fun & consensual way.  But the Youth gang still grabs some money bags and flies off.  While multiple people capture it on their cell phones.  Modern technology is an enemy to both the Youth & Old Guard. The kids take their money & go party.  Alcohol & drugs again.  Frank & Trixy making out again.  This time when River sees his man with the girl, he declares the relationship over & storms out of the club.  Killing a few people & knocking a sizable hole in the building to fly off while Frank freaks out & Trixy realizes this guy might be too much drama for her edgy self. We’re at the end of issue #3 which closes with this gem:

The more you know, right? Issue #4 has Don recovering from his injuries after Trixy’s finishing move failed to eliminate him (Dictionary: fore*shad*ow, verb: be a warning or indication of (a future event)).  He sees video of the armored truck robbery on the news (O! these pesky kids with their cell phone cameras & viral videos) & he’s back on the hunt for the gang.  River’s gone back home to the place he always went to to be alone when his stepdad was too much to deal with at home.  Frank finds him there, because he had been shown that spot.  It was their spot. It’s a sweet reunion where Frank still loves River despite the carnage so long as River still loves Frank with the cheating.  A win-win lost-lost. And our Bootleg Nick Fury has his remaining eye on the lovebirds & is ready to attack!  Jan, Kurt & Trixy see breaking news of the fight Frank & River put up against the government goons & Trixy is outvoted by the other two that they’ll go help their acquaintances of like 48 hours.  The time they take deciding & getting there, though, puts them unfashionably late.  Frank is seriously injured causing River to go Dark Phoenix so that the others can get Frank to safety.  It fades to black, skips forward 3 months & implies that Frank’s going it alone in California where he was meant to be with River, but River is gone. (So obviously not dead, but captured by Thunder who clearly has his own powers because River’s Phoenix fire definitely didn’t kill this Superspy.)  But Trixy’s all consoling and explains how Jan is locating other kids with powers - posthumans, they’re called -  all around the world & they’ve decided to start searching for them to create a bigger group.  Frank says it’s like the X-Men, but Jan isn’t quite Xavier level leader, so I say more New Mutants. Frank declines to be part of it. Trixy leaves him on a nice, sunny beach & goes to find Jan who portals them here, the most obviously “Not X like” structure in the world for their not a Bootleg X-Men/New Mutants series to take place in in the future: 

(JFC, the colors alone are classic Wolverine! Originality. Did you maybe want to try that with this series?)

For the end of “Season 1″ of Youth, which implies there will be more.  The single issues of the 4 part mini account for 125 pages & I consider several of those pages wasted. 

Final Verdict:

With powerhouse publishers like DC & Marvel having decades worth of this content, Youth was entering a very crowded arena.  The only thing it focused on as a lure to draw attention from the big leagues was the relationship between Frank & River, but representation has come a long way & Youth needed more. More story development, more group dynamics, more SOMETHING. Because I read the series in a world where I now know that The Old Guard exists & what Greg Rucka did with that series in simple & overt representation is a master class that Curt Pires needs to attend before any 2nd season talk for Youth. The world, my world, is ready for immortal gays. We’ve seen it, we need more.  If River’s still alive, as I suspect, then there’s potential, but it shouldn’t magically erase all the issues that Frank & River had as a couple.  They are not anywhere near the level of Joe & Nicky.  And if/when Youth returns it needs to focus on the characters that we’re supposed to engage with & keep the focus on ALL OF THEM.  Comics take art, with or without words, to tell some incredibly entertaining & complex stories. Don’t waste the space on blackness & block quotes, no matter what Marlon Brando is doing with mailboxes. Create the visuals & worlds in your head & tell the story with your heart so it comes to life for all of us.  That’s what Rucka did with The Old Guard & I want to see more writers, artists & publishers striving to attain that level for us.  I’m spoiled to it now & you can expect this kind of insanity from me if you fail to reach for this bar.

If you cannot tell by the end of all this, I am completely biased in favor of The Old Guard & if you can afford it, but haven’t done so yet, BUY THE BOOKS! Youth gets points for effort & dragged for everything else.

[mmmmalo]

why does gamzee manifest for dave wrt considering the icp video blasphemy?

I never figured that out! And that made me mad, so I gave it another shot. Results range from solid to utterly indefensible.

Page 4027

I like the how the shared pose and neutral expression concealed by sunglasses emphasize the parallel between Gamzee and Dave. 

The first weird thing for my method is that this scene takes place (for Dave) just before he opens John’s present and gets the new shades, so there’s no context leading up to this moment. Meaning, there is no event to which Gamzee could have been an emotional response – unless the mere arrival of John’s box has somehow warranted a crisis of faith on par with Gamzee’s. Alternatively, the lack of context could implicate Gamzee’s crisis as Dave’s default emotional state prior to receiving the gift…? But then there’s no particular reason for Gamzee to troll him at this moment…

Tavros manifesting in response to Dave reading John’s letter (henceforth Log B) retroactively becomes the resurrection that Gamzee is attempting to achieve? So since in Log B Tavros kind of… represents Dave’s sudden feeling of wholeness, of being in touch with his emotions and expressing himself freely, the decapitated Tavros above represents the emotional constipation/self-alienation that characterized life under Bro?

Which would mean that when Gamzee talks about his miracles having been stolen away, Tavros represents (for both Gamzee AND Dave) the lost richness of experience he idealizes. (Even if Eden never existed, even if the paradise planet is a FUCKING JOKE, to desire it is to experience it as having been lost) You cannot put the bunny back in the box, you cannot revive Tavros. CHILDHOOD RUINED!!!

Gamzee’s mournful “IT WAS GONNA BE US AND MOTHERFUCKING THEM” comes off then a unity denied – like Tavros’s head is denied unity with his body, or Dave is denied unity with himself. So all of this actually supports the ‘default emotional state’ reading – Gamzee is kind of dramatizing Dave’s basic emotional dilemma, just before John’s letter seems to briefly resolve it. (Intrusive thought: Nic Cage’s line in Con Air “I’m gonna show you God’s real.”)TC: IT STRIKES AT ME AS ANOTHER HERETICAL FUCKING BASTARDIZATION OF SOME SACRED SHIT I TAKE SERIOUSLY IN MY PUMP BISCUIT. TC: i mean i guess, took seriously…..so you get a sense that Dave laments his inability to take things seriously, to be ironic and detached all the time? Which is common knowledge by now, but here’s how it looks voiced through Gamzee.

More to that effect: Gamzee uses castration/decapitation imagery to describe how knowledge ruined his miracles: “YOU ALL CRACKED OFF THE TOP OF THE BOTTLE TO THOSE FUCKIN CLOWN IMPOSTORS.” Since “knowledge ruined miracles” rings close to “english destroys reality”, it’s very strange to me, as with Caliborn, that Gamzee decides to serve Lord English. Also, I still don’t get why the servants of English tend to be characterized by silence.

Page 4028

The DELIRIOUS BIZNASTY thread alludes to a Fall and SNAPPED neck (well, collarbone), kind of underlining the Paradise Lost vibes that accompany castration from the miracles. This is related to how the UNREAL AIR skateboard floats up and away to the sun like a piece of garbage, which is exactly what ICP does at the end of the Miracles music video, which Betty Crocker links here.

But now things confuse me again – Gamzee reaching inside himself for the chucklevoodoos is akin to…? Dave looking inside himself and finding rage? Or is Gamzee claiming responsibility for initiating all of the kids’ fears only relevant in that it establishes that all of the kids’ fears are similarly related to their trauma / crisis of faith / whatever? But I feel as though I’m missing something here somehow.

Page 4031

TG: also you have me confused for somebody else we never talkedTG: i guarantee i would have remembered you TC: ALL THAT MOTHER FUCKIN MATTERS IS I REMEMBER YOU AND WHAT YOU DID. TC: i’m just all letting you in on the ways i set the high justice in motion. TC: MADE US MOTHERFUCKING SQUARE, YOU AND ME. TC: me and you.This page starts off with the topic of identity confusion – Dave’s line most directly, Gamzee making reference to the indivisible perfectly generic object (the square) and repeating the phrasing he used earlier to invoke spiritual unity, to suggest that he and Dave are one. I assume this will lead into talk of Dave identifying with Bro, since he’s wearing the shades…

Okay, here’s something really indulgent:Gamzee’s declaration YOUR BRO’S DEAD BRO had me expecting some kind of Sixth Sense sort of twist – like Jade wasn’t the only one with a dead guardian, and Bro would be revealed to be a ghost not unlike Aradia. Like Gamzee’s “now that my other buddy managed to be having his head chopped off” had me thinking like Dave had actually chopped off Bro’s head at some point, and all their conflict was like Jade fighting with her dead Grandpa, except more convincing because Dave himself were convinced, having suppressed the memory of having already killed his Bro (again, just like Jade and Grandpa).Of course since death is ideality, the degree to which Dave idealizes Bro (cutting a meteor in half??), Bro being “dead” could also be an expression of the unreal expectations Dave has of his Bro. On the other hand, it would be fucking /fascinating/ if Dirk and his unbreakable katana were cosmically bound to seek their own undoing because a prior iteration of himself that only existed in Dave’s imagination post-mortem. But again, I don’t think the above is literally true. It’s fanciful and borrowing liberally from stories that have already been told elsewhere. I’m just struggling to make sense of the words….I think if Bec is literally an offshoot of Jade, it would at least make sense for Dave to indulge in the idea that Bro stems from himself…? Or vice-versa. It’s already been established that Dave views himself as a shitty copy of himself and/or of Bro… 

And with Gamzee talking about Bro keeping Lil Cal captive, just before Dave receives a letter about being in Bro’s shadow, I wonder if Cal is like… a figure of the blurring between them? Sometimes representative of Dave, as when Cal’s evisceration accompanied the breaking of Dave’s emblem… But otherwise controlled by Bro, with Cal’s dead-gaze indicating Bro’s observation…? (It should be noted that I never successfully integrated Lil Cal into my reading)

But if ‘captive’ implies Cal being /within/ Bro, it becomes suspect that Cal’s eye is within Gamzee’s eye, in a conversation where Gamzee is claiming identity with Dave? So then it again becomes as though /Dave/ is ultimately the only one controlling Cal… Bluh???I’m psyching myself out here something FIERCE, but it makes me wanna reevaluate lines like “Shit is basically flying off the hook. It’s like shit wants nothing to do with that hook. The hook is dead to that shit.” and go AHA IF DAVE IS THE SHIT THEN BRO IS THE HOOK AND HE’S DEAD CONFIRMED CONFIRMED CONFIRMED OH WAIT CAPTAIN HOOK IS ALWAYS PLAYED BY THE KIDS’ FATHER DOUBLE CONFIRMED, but luckily I am a sane person… Unless…? ;)

If all of the madness above bears any fruit, Dave calling Gamzee a murderous psychopath would amount to calling /himself/ a murderous psychopath, with Lil Cal’s whispers of carnage representing his own inner voice. If not…. I dunno what the deal with Lil Cal is! Very mysterious.

Bonus: Dave having already killed Bro would mean he’s wearing his sunglasses as a trophy, just like Gamzee was (falsely) implied to have done with Terezi… so maybe the suggestion that Dave has killed THE LAW (Bro) actually holds water? Though the falseness of Gamzee’s trophy still leaves room for the whole scenario to be a delusion of Daves.

This went in directions I had no way of anticipating, but I’m gonna spend the rest of the evening vaguely unsure of if Dave is a murder or just indulging in fantasies about murder. Homestuck confuses me.

[the-desolated-quill]

‘But They’re Covered In Nipples’: The Story Of Destroy All Humans - Quill’s Scribbles

Another E3 has come and gone. There was some good announcements. Square Enix unveiled their Avengers game, Keanu Reeves came on stage to give us the release date of Cyberpunk 2077, Ubisoft are making another Watch Dogs set in London, and... um... what else happened?

Oh yeah!

DESTROY ALL HUMANS IS BACK!!!!!!

Yes, the cult classic Destroy All Humans is returning next year, developed by THQ Nordic and Black Forest Games. This was quite possibly the nicest surprise I’ve ever had. When the teaser trailer came up on my YouTube recommendations, I practically screamed the house down. It’s a level of excitement I felt when 20th Century Fox announced they were finally making a Deadpool movie. 

Yeah. That excited.

Destroy All Humans was my favourite video game series growing up. I played the first two games non-stop on my PS2 and I even bought a Nintendo Wii and PS3 just so I could play Big Willy Unleashed and Path Of The Furon (yeah, we’ll get to them). Unfortunately, while the series was reasonably successful, it never quite broke through into the mainstream, and it ended up having a very short lifespan, making it one of the most underrated franchises of all time.

So, to mark the return of Crypto and Pox, I thought I’d take a retrospective look at the series as a whole. Analysing each game in the franchise and talking about what made them so good, whilst also looking at how it faded into obscurity and how THQ Nordic and Black Forest Games can hopefully avoid this fate with their remake.

Radioactive, Exploding, Zombie Cows

The first Destroy All Humans was developed by THQ and Pandemic Studios (the latter probably most famous for making the original Star Wars Battlefront games. You know? The good ones that weren’t overloaded with loot boxes and microtransactions) and was released in 2005 on the PS2 and Xbox. You play as a Furon warrior called Cryptosporidium 137, or Crypto for short, who is tasked with harvesting the brains of humans in order to extract pure Furon DNA from them. His leader Orthopox 13, or Pox, explains that the Furons are at risk of cloning themselves into extinction as they are unable to reproduce naturally due to a lack of genitalia and the DNA in their cloning banks are starting to degrade. Fortunately the Furons visited prehistoric Earth on their way back from destroying the Martians and took the opportunity to ‘let off some steam’ with the natives. As a result, humans possess a strand of Furon DNA that can hopefully restore the Furons’ reproductive organs. Unfortunately a secret government organisation called Majestic (a sort of cross between Project Blue Book and the Men in Black) have caught wind of the Furon invasion due to Crypto 136 crash landing in Roswell 10 years earlier. So Crypto 137 will have to be extra cautious in his quest to take over Earth.

The game was released four years after Grand Theft Auto III, which had completely revolutionised gaming with its open world sandbox. As a result, other companies were attempting their own open worlds and putting their own spin on them. While Destroy All Humans didn’t quite have the same scale as GTA, it made up for it with quality over quantity. The game offered six small open world areas for players to have fun in and its central premise was utterly captivating. After countless games where you had to fight alien invaders, Destroy All Humans allowed you to play as the alien invader.

Pandemic Studios completely embraced the alien invasion premise, giving the player a vast number of weapons and abilities to wreak havoc on planet Earth. You had access to weapons like the Zap O Matic, Disintegrator Ray and Anal Probe (no, really, there’s actually a gun called the Anal Probe and it’s as funny as it sounds) as well as mental abilities such as Psychokinesis, Hypnotism and the Cortex Scan, which allowed you to read the thoughts of humans and was also used to help maintain your Holoblob disguise in stealth missions. And if that isn’t cool enough, you also get your own flying saucer, which you can use to destroy buildings and landmarks. The game gave you a lot of freedom, essentially dropping you in a small destructible playground and telling you to go and enjoy yourself.

But the thing I loved most about the first game was the writing. The plot itself is actually pretty good with plenty of twists and turns as the military and Majestic become more and more desperate to stop you. And the humour, my God the humour! Honestly Destroy All Humans remains to this day one of the funniest games I’ve ever played. It’s use of satirical humour and 50s pop culture references never failed to make me chuckle. There was one moment that I’ll always remember where I scanned the mind of a police officer and it revealed that he was thinking about forming the Village People. If only he could find a cowboy, an Indian and a construction worker. 

The game’s main source of comedy mostly came from poking fun at the culture and attitudes of the time period. 1950s America was of course gripped by ‘the Red Scare,’ which the game mocks frequently as we see Majestic and the US government try desperately to cover up alien activity by blaming the death and destruction on communists, to the point where it just gets more and more absurd. At the end of each mission, a newspaper headline is shown, often blaming recent events on freak weather or communist propaganda. Yes, that should explain perfectly why people’s heads are exploding and why the cows are glowing green. It’s all perfectly normal. No aliens here. What’s that? A little green man in a flying saucer is blowing up ice cream trucks? Damn you commies!

The game also pokes fun at 50s sci-fi B movies, often parodying and lampshading the tropes and gimmicks one would expect in a low budget sci-fi flick. For example, the game ends with you fighting a giant robot that houses the President’s brain. It’s fully aware of how ridiculous and stupid it all is and clearly revels in it. Killer robots, mind control, radioactive animals, mad scientists and secret government conspiracies galore. Destroy All Humans is very much a love letter to cheesy sci-fi.

But by far the biggest draw was the main characters. Crypto and Pox. They’re both such funny, wonderfully realised and likeable characters. Pox is voiced by Richard Steven Horvitz, who you may remember from Invader Zim, and he gives the character a maniacal glee. I honestly could listen to his rants all day. He’s the quintessential evil genius. Crypto meanwhile is voiced by J. Grant Albrecht, who gives the character a Jack Nicholson-esque voice. Unlike Pox, Crypto is crass, crude and craves destruction, which often puts him at odds with Pox, who favours more subtle styles of invasion such as mind control. The two characters often bicker and squabble, which never fails to be entertaining, and yet there is an underlying respect and fondness for each other that helps ground the relationship. It’s the perfect double act.

Destroy All Humans was a good game, but does it still hold up? Well there are a few issues. Controls can be a bit clunky at times and missions can often get repetitive. Destroy x number of farmers. Collect x amount of DNA. That kind of thing. Also, annoyingly, there’s no checkpoints, which means if you die or fail the mission, you’re automatically sent back to the Furon Mothership and you have to start the mission all over again. But the writing, humour and entertainment value more than make up for it.

Hot Monkey Love

While the first game wasn’t what you’d call a hit, it was successful enough for THQ to commission a sequel. Destroy All Humans 2 was released in 2006 on PS2 and Xbox, just one year after the first game, and this time Crypto was going international.

Set in the 1960s, ten years after the events of the first game, the KGB in Russia learn about the Furon’s takeover of America and plan a counterattack. They nuke the Furon Mothership, killing Pox, and try to assassinate Crypto 138, who is posing as the President of the United States. The assassination fails and Pox’s mind is able to survive in hologram form. The two then embark on a global adventure, seeking revenge against the KGB and uncovering a massive conspiracy that puts the entire Furon invasion at risk.

Destroy All Humans 2 is an ambitious sequel that increases its scope from the first game. No longer confined to America, we see Crypto terrorise San Francisco, London, Tokyo, Russia and even the Moon. Our arsenal of weapons are also expanded. The original weapons from the first game return as well as some all new ones such as the Disclocator, which fires a purple disc at a human or vehicle and sends them flying around the map, the Burrow Beast, which summons a Tremors-esque space worm to cause carnage, and Meteor Strike, which I think speaks for itself. We also get a few new mental abilities such as Transmogrify, which allows you to turn objects into ammo, and Free Love, which causes everyone in the general vicinity to start dancing, allowing you to make a quick getaway while they’re distracted. The saucer too has some extra features, including a cloaking device and the ability to drain vehicles of health using your Abducto Beam.

This sequel pretty much takes everything that worked from the first game whilst tweaking the things that didn’t. The GTA style Alert system got a complete overhaul. If you want to raise or lower the Alert level, all you have to do is bodysnatch a cop or a soldier and make a call using a police box (you can also make prank calls from them, which is good for a giggle). Holoblobbing has been replaced with Bodysnatching, which works so much better and it does away with the annoying Concentration meter, so you can PK cars and humans to your heart’s content. There’s also a lot more stuff to do now. There are numerous collectables such as Alien Artefacts, which unlocks the Burrow Beast weapon, and FuroTech Cells, which are your main currency that can be used to upgrade your health and weapons. Missions have greater variety than in the first game. There’s a lot more side missions, including Odd Jobs and my personal favourites the Cult of Arkvoodle missions, where Crypto brainwashes humans to worship the Furon God Arkvoodle of the Sacred Crotch.

As you can tell, the humour is still just as wacky and ridiculous as ever. Destroy All Humans 2 lampoons and ridicules the 60s mercilessly, taking aim at the Cold War and the hippie counterculture movement. It also pokes fun at 60s sci-fi films, spy films and Japanese movies like Godzilla. In fact there’s a boss fight that involves you fighting a Godzilla-esque monster and it’s honestly the best boss fight in the series. It regains health by destroying buildings, so you have to destroy them first before you can kill the monster. It’s a great premise.

Story-wise, Destroy All Humans 2 is a worthy successor, raising the stakes and expanding the lore. We’re introduced to the Blisk, the Martians that were presumed extinct by the Furons millions of years ago. It’s a brilliant conflict and ostensibly allows the developers to make commentaries on America and Russia at the time using the Furons and the Blisk respectively as stand-ins. Crypto and Pox are well written, funny and likeable as ever and we’re also introduced to an assortment of new characters, including the Russian spy Natalya and MI6 agent Ponsomby (voiced by none other than Anthony Head from Buffy). The game is engaging and rewarding, but it crucially never takes itself too seriously. For example there’s one instance in Tokyo where Crypto learns about the battle between the White and Black Ninjas and he guesses that the conflict started because of the cliche student betraying his master type origin, but it turns out that both groups of ninjas were originally Grey, but then they ran out of grey fabric and disagreed over which colour they should be instead. There’s so many great comedic moments like that and they pretty much hit bullseyes every time.

That being said, there was one aspect of the game I didn’t like and that was the crude sex jokes. Crypto 138 is the first clone to have pure Furon DNA, which means he now has genitalia. As a result, this new incarnation of Crypto is far more randy than 137 was in the first game.  This mostly takes the form of Crypto constantly trying to hit on Natalya, despite her showing no sexual interest, which I personally found pretty gross. Worse still, the game ends with Crypto cloning Natalya and ‘making a few adjustments’ so she will consent to have sex with him. The word ‘creepy’ doesn’t begin to cover how I felt about this. If THQ Nordic and Black Forest Games ever decide to remake the second game, I really hope they consider rethinking that ending because... Jesus!

On the whole, Destroy All Humans 2 was a brilliant sequel. It was also sadly the last Destroy All Humans game to be developed by Pandemic Studios before they were bought by EA and eventually shut down in 2009. Unfortunately this would have a severe impact on the future of the series going forward.

Limp Willy

The next game in the series was a spinoff for the Nintendo Wii, released in early 2008 and developed by Locomotive Games. A PS2 version was also planned, but was scrapped due to budget cuts (remember this. It’ll become relevant later).

Destroy All Humans: Big Willy Unleashed was... underwhelming, to say the least. Set in the 1970s, six years after the second game, Crypto and Pox have opened a fast food restaurant called Big Willy as a way of disposing of the corpses left behind during Crypto’s missions. However a rival fast food chain, run by Colonel Kluckin’, is stealing their business and socialite Patty Wurst is threatening to expose Big Willy (smirk). So it’s up to Crypto to protect Pox’s Big Willy (haha) and maintain their cover on Earth.

Now you’re probably thinking this sounds quite tame compared to the previous two games, and yeah, it is. But it’s a spinoff, so I can understand to a certain extent. However there are a few narrative discrepancies. The big one being Crypto has retired from being the President. No explanation given as to why and we have no idea what Crypto is doing instead. When we first see him, he’s watching TV. He doesn’t even know Big Willy exists until Pox brings it up. So what’s going on exactly? Are they still trying to invade Earth or have they gone native? Also, compared to the grand conspiracy stories of the previous games, Crypto protecting a fast food restaurant sounds a little beneath him.

Gameplay is virtually unchanged from the previous game. There’s some new guns such as Ball Lightning and the Zombie Gun, but nothing special. The biggest addition is Big Willy, the restaurant mascot that’s actually a Furon battle mech in disguise. It’s... fine. Not that much different from the Saucer really. We also get some new locations. Harbor City, Fairfield in Kentucky, Fantasy Atoll (a weak parody of Fantasy Island) and Vietmahl (a painfully obvious homage to Vietnam). None of these locations are particularly interesting however. There’s also a multiplayer mode, which... exists.

Honestly the game as a whole is just lacklustre. The story just isn’t as good as the first two games and the humour doesn’t have the same wit or intelligence. Most of the comedy surrounds the fact that Pox has called his restaurant Big Willy and isn’t entirely aware of the double entendre, which admittedly is funny for the first few missions, but by the time you’ve finished Harbor City and move on to Fairfield, the joke gets old real fast. There’s less of an effort to actually satirise the culture or films of the time, instead merely making 70s pop culture references without ever actually doing anything with it. It’s like the Family Guy school of comedy. Take Fantasy Atoll for instance. A pisstake of Fantasy Island, but instead of Mr. Roarke and Tatoo, we get Mr. Pork and Ratpoo. That’s the level of humour we’re talking about here.

What’s worse is that J. Grant Albrecht and Richard Steven Horwitz don’t return as Crypto and Pox. Sean Donnellan and Darryl Kurylo voice the characters instead and it’s just not the same. It doesn’t feel like Crypto and Pox. So from the very first cutscene, we’re already off on the wrong foot.

And then there’s a bunch of other stuff that I find really questionable. The most obvious being the revelation that Colonel Kluckin’ makes his chicken wings from the corpses of the Vietmahl (Vietnam) war, which just seems in very bad taste to me. If there is a satirical point being made here, I can’t find it for the life of me. There’s also some side missions where Crypto finds out that he and Natalya have a son, which goes absolutely nowhere and doesn’t feel like something that should be in a Destroy All Humans game.

Overall, Big Willy Unleashed was a massive dud meant to tide us over until Destroy All Humans 3 came out later in the year. Honestly the one aspect of it I thought had potential was the side missions involving Crypto and Pox being assessed by a Furon Efficiency Expert called Toxoplasma Gondii. Considering what happened in the second game, including the destruction of the Furon Mothership, the return of the Blisk and the Furon operation on Earth being jeoprodised, this could have been a great premise for a sequel.

Instead what we got was... 

Disco Inferno

Oh boy. Where do I begin?

Path Of The Furon was developed by THQ and Sandblast Games and released in December 2008 on the Xbox 360 in North America. The PS3 version was cancelled because Sandblast (and Locomotive Games) was closed down before development was finished due to THQ’s financial problems at the time. However the PS3 version was released in Europe and Australia, so either THQ got another studio to complete it or, more likely, they just released it in a broken, buggy state.

Fans really didn’t like this game, myself included, but before we go tearing it a new one, lets look at the few positives the game has. First off, J. Grant Albrecht and Richard Steven Horwitz return to voice Crypto and Pox, which is great. As a result, the original chemistry is back and they help salvage the game when the writing fails to deliver. There are a few cool new weapons, like the Black Hole Gun and the Venus Human Trap, which creates a giant man eating plant. The Saucer’s weapons have been tweaked, so now they affect the environment as well as destroy buildings. So if you fire your Death Ray at the ground, for example, you can create scorch marks. PK now has its own dedicated button, which means you can pick up and throw objects whilst using your guns simultaneously. There’s also the titular ‘Path Of Enlightenment,’ which upgrades your mental abilities significantly as well as allowing you to freeze time.

That’s the good stuff. The bad stuff is... pretty much everything else.

The humour is, again, quite poor. Rather than satirising 70s culture, the game continues to make references to 70s films like The Godfather and Star Wars, but not actually doing anything with them. Just making the reference. The writing as a whole is quite substandard as the plot pretty much recycles the plots of Destroy All Humans 2 and Big Willy Unleashed, except instead of the Big Willy restaurant, it’s the Space Dust casino and instead of the Blisk, it’s Nexosporidium warriors, who are basically Furon cyborgs. Things do threaten to get a bit interesting when Crypto and Pox discover someone has been manufacturing synthetic Furon DNA, but nothing ever really comes of it. Instead the game focuses mainly on the Master.

Ah yes. The Master.

In an attempt to recapture the magic of the second game, Path Of The Furon tries to spoof kung-fu movies just like how DAH 2 spoofed spy films. Unfortunately this leads us to a slew of unfunny gags, cultural appropriation and some of the worst racial stereotyping I think I’ve ever seen. The Master is a Furon who crashed on Earth a hundred years ago and embroiled himself in Eastern culture, enhancing his PK abilities. This is what he looks like:

YYYYeah.

Oh and if that’s not awkward enough, he also speaks in an over the top ‘ah so’ accent. It’s incredibly cringeworthy and made me want to crawl out of my body and hide in the darkest corner I could possibly find. How anyone involved in this game’s development could look at this deeply racist and downright embarrassing excuse for a character and think this was okay, I don’t know.

And before anyone tries to excuse it by saying that he has been living in China for a hundred years, so he’s bound to pick a few things up, please note that Nolan North is in this game playing the Furon Emperor Meningitis, who also has an over the top ‘ah so’ accent. Now I suppose some could argue that the game is satirising how Asian people were portrayed at the time, but if that’s what the game is going for, they’ve failed miserably. See, the problem with that argument is that replicating something doesn’t count as satire. By recreating over the top racist caricatures, you’re not making fun of them. If anything you’re just reinforcing them. The first game’s satire of the Red Scare worked so much better than this because there was an actual point behind it. It comments on how paranoid the people of the 50s were at the time by using Majestic to exploit the threat of communism in order to cover up alien activity, and everyone willingly buys into it because of that sheer paranoia. Now yes, admittedly the humour in Destroy All Humans isn’t the most sophisticated in the world, but it used to be a LOT better than this. Not only do I find the racial stereotyping in this game deeply offensive, it’s also frankly beneath this franchise. And it’s not just limited to the Chinese either. The final act takes us to the Furon homeworld (which was pretty underwhelming after four games worth of buildup) and we meet another Furon called Endometriosis whose only characteristics are that he has an Italian accent and wears a beret. It’s these broad strokes and general laziness that makes this game such a disappointing experience.

Path Of The Furon is subpar in every way imaginable. The writing, the humour, the gameplay and even the graphics. The first two games looked so much better than this and they were on older consoles from the previous generation. It’s shocking.

It’s hard to blame Sandblast Games for this considering they were shut down before development was finished. It was THQ’s mismanagement and financial woes that killed off this franchise and indeed themselves. The company went bankrupt in 2012 and their various IPs were sold off to other studios, with Nordic Games buying the lions’ share, including Destroy All Humans, which briefly reignited hopes that we might get another game, but that seemed unlikely considering the franchise has never exactly been a mainstream success. There was even talks of doing an animated sitcom based on the games for Fox, to be written by the same guy who did King Of The Hill, but that never went anywhere.

No. It seemed like Destroy All Humans was gone for good and fans reluctantly made peace with that. It was fun while it lasted, but perhaps it was time to move on.

Oh The Furonity!

I’m not going to lie. I was pretty sure we were never going to see Destroy All Humans return. Not just because of its lack of mainstream appeal, but also because game development studios and publishers in recent years have become more and more reluctant to make single player, mid-tier games. Instead pivoting toward massive triple A releases and ‘live services’. So it came as a rather pleasant surprise when Nordic Games, now named THQ Nordic, released Darksiders III in 2018, a sequel to a series of games that were also not very mainstream but still had a significant cult following. This briefly reignited a small flicker of hope within me that maybe, just maybe, we might see our favourite Furon return.

And as you already know, I got my wish. A new Destroy All Humans game will be released next year by THQ Nordic and Black Forest Games.

So what can this remake learn from the franchise’s past? Well thankfully the writing and voice acting is going to remain the same, so story, characterisation and humour won’t be an issue. They’re also incorporating elements from the sequels such as Transmogrify from Destroy All Humans 2 and giving PK its own button like in Path Of The Furon. There’s also a few new additions that I’m excited about such as the ability to dodge and strafe using the jetpack. That should make combat much more exciting and dynamic. I know a few people have a problem with the new cartoony designs of the humans and the world, but I honestly don’t mind. In fact I think it suits the tone and setting quite well. Hopefully people will eventually get used to it. The big question mark hovering over all this is whether they’re planning to remake the other games in the series. I for one would love to see a remake of the second game. As for Big Willy Unleashed and Path Of The Furon, I think it’s best to leave them firmly in the past. The big dream would be to see Crypto and Pox have further adventures together beyond the first two games. Hopefully even have enough sequels to get the characters to the present day. We’ll just have to wait and see what the future brings. My only word of advice for them would be to never forget what made the first two games so good and so beloved. Big Willy Unleashed and Path Of The Furon lost their way, as its writing and humour grew lazier and lazier. If we are fortunate enough to get more games, the developers will need to remember what it was about the first game that made it so special and build off of it.

This is a second chance. Not a lot of franchises get this. Don’t waste it. Here’s hoping the remake will provide the definitive Destroy All Humans experience and that it will gain the success it deserves.

[safeplaceblogs]

So, I posted this poem. It had a short story to go with it. I am posting it tell me if you like it. THE DESTRUCTION by safeplaceblogs The day has come for the world. The day we deprecate, the day everything is terminated, and another world has come, when we become just fossils, nothing of our knowledge left behind, our kinds wiped off the face of the earth, and a new species comes and takes this world as their own and hopefully does better than us. I never imagined this day would come this soon. I know that we are not going to persist. I know nature is bigger than us.

The year is 2099. We humans have withstood this long, I don’t know how, but we were pushed to kill everything and without knowing, we are going to destroy ourselves.

The sixth meteor hitting the earth. A mass extinction happens for the sixth time earlier than any other, more efficacious than any other.

The ocean water is all black, the lands filled with garbage, people not able to breathe, our population reaching fifteen billion but nothing to feed them, nothing left for us to use to care for them. This is our earth now, and I just hate to see it, but we have made it that.

Our forerunners did not care about the upcoming generations and used up all the resources, and left us with nothing but rubbish and an expanding population, not benefiting anyone. They died, lived their life to the fullest. Now we are left to suffer.

They were mistaken about everything. Thinking humans could survive without wildlife transpired to be their most consequential mistake. If only they would have apprehended that wildlife is everything. Nature is everything. Without wildlife we stifle, we do not survive. Nothing survives.

Welcoming the destruction coming, I went back to my house. It was a small cabin with only a mattress, a stove, and a television. Opening the door, the smell of my mother’s medicine was passing right through me. She used the medication even when I told her not to.

The medicine would save her, and she wanted that, But I did not, I did not want her to testify to the death of earth, even if she would not survive. She was obliged to die sooner, to die before the day. I went near the bed. She was sleeping soundly, not knowing what was coming. I took the medicine. I took it away from her. Tossing it out the window, it took its reek with it. I was satisfied, I was happy that the drug was gone. That now mother would die harmoniously, not seeing the carnage. Thinking about this, I went into her bed. She was warm under the blanket. I slept with her, feasibly. The day will pass on with us sleeping.

People are screeching, I can hear it, opening my eyes I see my mom beside me. Is she dead? Did she die in her sleep?

Yes, she was dead. She was no longer in the world. My consciousness turned to the shouting. The day is here. I ran outside to see the response of people when they saw the surge, the wave that would kill them all. It will be slow, but it will kill us all.

I saw a frosted force coming towards me, no one had known the day was here. Only I could sense it and I was ready for it, they were not, I knew people would be afraid, but I was not, I knew the earth is already dead, just us left, now we will be no more. I was running toward the wave, grinning, I was happy, the earth was going down. it is in front of me just two more steps. I would no longer live, the world would no longer live. New varieties would come, maybe more genuine than us, maybe a more beautiful world.

Goodbye to everyone.

Die, Humans, Die!

My Children, My Love!

My Creation, My Humans!

You killed me,

You did.

You could have saved me,

But you didn’t.

I hope you live,

You live without me

But will you?

Oh, will you?

I think not,

You will die.

Will you not?

Do you want to die?

No, you don’t.

But the day will come,

Not for me but you.

Another force,

Not like you know.

It will be slow,

But still, it will kill you all.

Goodbye, My Children,

Goodbye, My Love.

Goodbye, My Creation,

Goodbye, My Humans.

[enambris]

Challenge at the Rift

[Vibes]

Featuring: @lydia-ffxiv, @thequeendrowned

She slams into the ground like a meteor, cracks splitting the earth from her as the epicenter of the impact as she rolls out of the damage. Bruises pepper her arms, her legs, her chest and face, but she doesn’t slow down, despite how exhausted she should be. She’s on her feet again, bolting like a lightning strike, blade in hand as she sprints back across the field. Weapon brandished she slides through the dirt, twisting to bring down the inertia of her weight, her strike, and the gravity pushing her forward, the blazing weapon in her hand arcing through the air. It clashes violently against the flat of another blade, her opponent managing to block the blow with less than a second to spare between the keen edge and his chest.

Another swing and she twists back to reverse the impact’s direction and again finds it blocked, the man stepping back once, twice, thrice, as he nears the edge of the cliff, each step the product and result of the force with which she presses her advantage. She’s too fast, and each swing cracks the sky and shatters the sound barrier as steel kisses detonate the air.

The girl continues pressing forward but her assault is very suddenly paused, and she bends at the waist to allow a second opponent’s axe-head to sail over her and slam into his comrade. It seems to do little to the man except split his sternum, which he apparently shrugs off, as he renews his assault, taking advantage of the brief interlude between her strikes. Though, as both men prepare to bring down unified blows upon her, cutlass and axe suddenly halt as the men wielding them find themselves consumed by flames, bellies split by a burning blade, and she’s gone before they hit the ground.

The two of them, however, were hardly the problem, and she sprints back into the disarray of the active battlefield, weaving between men as she tears through the enemy force the way a wildfire devours a dead forest. They had begun as only a handful, but two score had somehow managed to worm their way out of the rift, attacking those tasked with watching it. She’d already lost eight men by the time she arrived on the scene, and the vision imprinted on her eyes of their lifeless bodies in the clutches of those who would repurpose them for the tyrant’s horrors had triggered something deep inside of her.

“Fall back!” one of the drowned men bellows, but finds himself choking on blue congealed blood when metal tears through his throat. He is relieved entirely of his head not a second later, and as the renewed corpse falls to the ground the blaze consumes it, leaving naught but ash in her wake. The fire splits three ways out from her as she sprints, firing off like cannons as she swings to direct them. Two, four, eight men fall, and she blows through the chest of another, ducking and turning on her heel to avoid a blow aimed for her head and reply in kind. The bodiless head smashes into the ground and becomes dust as she moves on, joined by four more of its fellows in the space of a heartbeat.

There’s a song hanging on the air, but the shrieks of pain and fear drown the lyrics out, the resulting cacophony the symphony to the carnage. The field is empty of adversaries by the time she stops, spinning to a halt, chest heaving as she pants for breath, her weapon clutched tightly in a bloody left hand. Around her the survivors of the squadron stand, desperate for a moment of breath. It isn’t over, she can feel it in her bones as the rift shudders before her. Her heart drops as gravity does, the edges of the tear yawning wide, pulling light, sound color, all inexorably towards it as if to devour it whole.

“Hold…” she murmurs, as a figure emerges from the rift. Familiarity precedes Enambris’ rage as the woman’s form settles, pale blonde hair cascading around her as if a violent wind had caught her locks, the brocade fabrics of her gown billowing in the mysterious gale. Hellfire amber eyes fix on the girl as she stands, blood leaking down her arm and dripping to the earth beneath her, and as she surveys the scenery, a wide, wicked smile splits her pale, scarred face.

“Oh, well good afternoon, daughter mine,” she purrs, propping one hand on her hip. The other reaches into the rift behind her, as if she were digging through a closet, and from it she withdraws the immense weapon that has become her signature, spinning it once in her hand and thrusting its’ tip into the dirt, to lean her weight against it as she taunts. “Have you come to fetch your pet Warden? Terribly poor idea, coming to find him alone, dear.”

Enambris does not verbally reply, not immediately, anyway. Instead she lifts a hand, fingers splayed, and clenches the hand to a fist. On cue a projectile whizzes over her shoulder and slams into the other woman’s forehead, sending her skidding back several fulms before she halts, neck and head snapped back by the impact. An irritable exhale leaves her as black ichor begins to seep from the hole created, the quivering shaft of arrow and fletching a few ilms exposed where the rest of it had buried into her skull and brain. “That was terribly rude, dear,” she drolls.

“Don’t assume I’m alone, tyrant,” the Warmaiden snaps, the sound of another arrow nocking to a bow echoing loudly in tandem with the sounds of cocking rifles and drawing steel. Her fingers splay again, hand still held aloft, as she tips her chin up to stare at the woman with a steely silver gaze. “Why did you open the rift? What the fuck do you want?”

Ana D’mira’s face contorts into a deep sneer, leaning more of her weight against the monolithic blade beside her. “To change the world, dear–”

Her statement is cut short as Enambris’ hand clenches and another hefty arrow slams into the center of her chest. She skids another few fulms back and pants under the weight, eyes narrowing and sneer flickering. “A challenge,” she hisses, wiping trails of black from her face. “If you want your Warden back, you will have to come and claim him.” Her hand snaps to clasp the great sword’s hilt and she blasts across the field, winding back to swing the enormous weapon for the Warmaiden’s head.

Steel and aether connect and detonate, plumes of bright light and deep shadow interspersed by fingers of smoke curling into the sky. As it clears a pair of luminous spectral wings unfurl, the sinister blade caught on hardened light, and they remain interlocked for a few agonizing moments, perfectly still. “Don’t keep me waiting, daughter mine,” Ana breathes. She withdraws, tendrils of black winding up the blade and pulling it into a bubble of Oblivion. She turns on her heel, steps back into the rift, and with a final cheshire smile she’s gone.

[the-nysh]

Saitama Cares Masterpost

PART ONE

Yep, THIS IS a comprehensive and ongoing list + commentary (with pictures!) of every moment Saitama shows care/concern for Genos in the story, to eliminate the common misconception that Saitama is either ‘heartless’ (no way) or that the sentiments between them are only one-sided from Genos (not true; the characters just express their outward emotions differently). To establish that Saitama does not treat Genos with the same indifference of a complete stranger/acquaintance, but rather in fact grows fond of him to the point he treats Genos noticeably different than others. With particular emphasis on moments from the original webcomic, AS PROOF Saitama’s subtle way of caring originates from the source material itself. Feel free to use as a reference list or supplemental material to enrich fan content or expand people’s positive perspective of the egg!

Current chapters covered: up through the meteor arc (ch23) Words: 1800+

Chapter 6, the moment they met. They don’t even know each other, yet Saitama genuinely thanks and compliments Genos as ‘awesome/amazing’ for saving him from the mosquito hoard. Not even caring or noticing that his own clothes have been completely burned off in the process. No complaints from him at all, just that he’s pleased and impressed by Genos, even making chance lighthearted puns during the moment too:

Chapter 10, vs Asura Rhino/Carnage Kabuto, which was their first outing together, the same day as, and immediately after Genos arrived to Saitama’s door, with his backstory given and disciple proposition declared.

The ‘Modern Art’ scene, where Saitama stares in stunned, confused concern at Genos getting embedded into the wall, IGNORING the face of the monster, with his attention only on Genos until he declares, ‘you’ll pay.’ The manga increased this to two pages, with wider body shots of Saitama’s stunned reaction, however, his ‘ignore the monster’ pose was changed to 90 degrees instead of how the webcomic shows his head turned at an opposite 180:

The catching scene, (the ‘leg hold’ in the anime). The manga has an extra panel of Saitama watching Genos’ fight (and swoops in off-panel to catch him), but the webcomic has Saitama suddenly appear at his side. His supportive hand on Genos’ shoulder was changed to his waist in the manga too. The manga further shows Saitama kneeling at Genos’ side while supporting his back for the ‘don’t push yourself so hard’ panel.

The ‘afro’ scene. The egg OVERTLY CONCERNED if Genos is ok from the blowback, yelling with visible sweat drops over his condition (same worried reaction in the manga). The webcomic’s ‘son of a bitch!’ line in response to the monster doing this to him is a personal fav of mine (even if it’s just the translator’s personal choice to use that language). 8D As is his raised fist with his serious expression, ready to dish out retribution. He looks angrier here, so I definitely prefer it to the manga’s version:

Chapter 11, when prompted by the monster to explain his strength training regimen, rather than simply answering him, Saitama directly addresses Genos about it instead, instructing him to ‘listen up’ and focus on the important parts:

Two birds with one stone here, yes, but Saitama makes sure he has Genos’ attention first and performs his ‘teacher role’ mainly for him, and not caring as much for the other two in the audience (barely even notices the scientist in the room). When Genos responds in a furious fit at him, Saitama is visibly shocked (stress sweat included), but CALMLY meets his distress with open honesty. Caring about Genos’ reaction and making sure he understands the truth. Not caring at all for the monster’s version of rage (sales are more important than that).

Chapter 15, while Saitama is at first in shock over the news of his nonexistent popularity (and wants to be left alone in his distress, telling Genos to go home), after learning why, he’s then interested whether Genos has already registered as a hero or not, with neither of them wanting to register alone. (Genos was never interested in joining in the first place: “no, I wouldn’t do something like that/I’m not interested.”) Genos gives him the necessary background info and exposition, but Saitama is the one to initiate the idea they register together, with the deal that if Genos comes with him, he’ll make him his disciple ‘for real.’ Of course Genos elatedly flips his mind right there and agrees to go along! (This agreement was allll on Saitama’s insistence here; in fact, you could say it was Saitama who bribed him to register because he didn’t want to do it alone.)   

Chapter 16: Upon passing together and Genos beaming to him that he’s looking forward to his official teachings, Saitama contemplates that maaaaybe he was too quick to make that promise, especially to the type of guy Genos is (cyborg, upstanding, diligent, serious, hardworking, loyal, overeager, honest to a fault). Essentially, feeling wholly unprepared to have signed up for a task (and tutelage over a person) that’s much more than he’s comfortably qualified (or even really wants) to handle. But, he has to step up and take this teacher role (and hero job) seriously now. Does he fall back and refuse? No, he takes responsibility for his actions and makes the most of it. When alone, he reviews their hero ranks, with himself in Class C and Genos in Class S, contemplating the gap he has to climb to reach him and thinking about him: “could it be that Genos is actually really amazing?”  

Chapter 17, their spar. Indulging on Genos’ request for a match, as their first test bout as newly appointed teacher-student. Saitama keeps it playful and not too serious, as it’s not fighting ‘for real’ to him. Tagging Genos with the cute cheek poke (with a fun smile!) and forehead flick after demonstrating a fist of his power to his face. Important to note that a parallel scene happens much later in the manga vs Suiryu in the martial arts tournament. Also not fighting ‘for real’ there either. Both of Saitama’s ‘opponents’ want him to get serous and display his power, but the difference between Saitama’s two punches is that he shreds Suiryu’s clothes in humiliation (Saitama’s close-up afterimage behind Genos could have shielded him from some of the blast too). Saitama was not having the same fun in the tournament (or smiling during that match), unlike in his spar with Genos, nor does he care for Suiryu the same way (flat out refusing his disciple request in comparison too). Saitama asks Genos out for udon, which the anime even shows in full with a competitive, fun eating match (which Genos wins this time, and Saitama, genuinely impressed, tells him he’s amazing again).

Chapter 18, Genos moves in. It’d been 5 days since their spar in the webcomic/manga, but the anime changed it to that very same night (after the udon). Webcomic Saitama doesn’t mind that Genos regularly comes over, but moving in is another story. Immediately changing his mind upon seeing Genos’ loaded rent money (offering payment upfront IS polite & proper boarding manners, whether or not Genos was aware of Saitama’s tight finances then to legitimately bribe him). However, ONE’s stated that Saitama has never used Genos’ rent money. 

Genos came prepared and eager to learn (with his notebook), but conversely, Saitama believes he has nothing to teach him (muscle training is useless for a cyborg after all), and importantly, doesn’t want to play at this teacher charade any longer if it’s like he’s deceiving or taking advantage of Genos:

It would become all the more morally unacceptable (really, Saitama would feel bad) to continue half-assedly and meet Genos’ high & honest expectations of him with deceit like that. Genos has raised the bar to the point Saitama’s been put on the spot and can’t simply mess around with this anymore. Establishing right here how much Saitama’s conflicted about this: even if he’s empty handed, ideally he wants to match Genos’ eagerness with open honesty and NOT deception or having to abuse his position of power. (Saitama is a good egg and he’s TRYING to do this teacher thing right!) But he doesn’t know how or what else to teach him aside from what he already knows, (knowing Genos won’t simply accept his training method either). Scrambling and pressed for time (gotta juggle his hero quota deadline), he settles for a temporary, on-the-spot goal for Genos to aim for in the meantime (top10 hero spot). Saitama assumes the advice he gives is bullshit, but it DOES logically consider Genos’ limitations and key mental aspects he needs to improve, so it is viable insight and not as far-fetched as Saitama thinks (it’s actually pretty spot-on): 

Chapter 20, interested whether Genos has done any hero work yet to raise his rank too (popularity a different story). RECEIVES GENOS’ PRAISE HERE. In contrast to the comments from fans who don’t personally know him, Genos gives his honest opinion of Saitama, ‘the most incredible man he’s met,’ since he knows him. While Genos doesn’t value what his fans have to say (and Saitama shocked he isn’t embarrassed reading them out loud), the same can’t be said whether Saitama doesn’t appreciate what this particular ‘fan’ has to say about him. ;3 He brushes off Genos’ words as flattery (in anime, as ‘buttering him up’), but the manga and anime show him with a little pleased smile. So while Saitama is bad at receiving/taking compliments from him, on some level he IS glad there’s someone who finally appreciates him.    

Chapter 21, THE METEOR. Arrives in impeccable timing to save Genos. Saitama probably heard the news on his own, geared up and rushed to the scene, witnessed Genos’ whole flashy attempt to blast the meteor, stood back for him, and only approached at the last possible moment when Genos absolutely needed his help. He personally instructs Bang to take care of Genos for him and evacuate to safety while he takes care of the meteor:

The manga has Saitama arrive in extra dramatic flourish (+color in the digital version), hidden behind his speech bubble until Genos turns and lightens up in astonished recognition (complete with shoujo sparkles). :’) Saitama went through the trouble to do all of that and arrive directly at Genos’ side, when he could have simply destroyed the meteor by jumping from the vicinity of his apartment. Not only that, but he gave Genos room to finish his attack without rushing in and ‘stealing his thunder’ so to speak. Saitama knows Genos is usually strong enough to take care of himself, which is a reoccurring sentiment from him (even repeated by ONE & Murata in interviews), so he only intervenes and steps in when he sees Genos rendered helpless to fight anymore, which here, also revives Genos’ hope at his lowest moment (when he pretty much accepted his grave). :’))) 

Chapter 22, the meteor aftermath. Genos laments that the HA didn’t call Saitama in the first place (instead of him) to more effectively handle it with Metal Knight to reduce damage to a minimum. But Saitama immediately rationalizes Metal Knight wouldn’t have been a team player anyway and that he (himself) handled things just fine since no one died. Coolly assuring Genos not to brood/worry over what didn’t happen and to focus on the positive outcome instead. Like for instance, interested in whether their ranks went up (specifically asking Genos in terms of ‘we/our,’ not just for himself). Plus, when Genos starts talking threat levels, Saitama freely asks him to clarify what they mean. At this point in time, Saitama is comfortable with Genos’ level of intel/knowledge, and is fine asking him about things he doesn’t understand. (aka when the student informs the teacher, and the teacher’s totally cool with it! :D Never has been seen again, ch7′s 20-words-or-less policy!)

Chapter 23, the tank top rookie crushing. Where Saitama bellows to the crowd how he doesn’t care about their approval or whether they hate him. Interestingly, neither the webcomic nor the manga show how the scene resolves (it just cuts to a several day’s time skip), but the anime resolves it by having Genos arrive at the scene to pacify Saitama’s anger with a simple but effective, ‘let’s go home’ (with sustained, sincere eye contact too). This is ALSO where the anime places Genos’ praise from ch20, now as the iconic ‘sunset confession scene’ with Saitama’s ‘you don’t have to butter me up like that’ line as he turns around with a pleased little smile. Here, it’s in direct contrast to how Saitama views the public, because he DOES appreciate and care what Genos thinks of him (no matter how humbly he accepts it). When even one person’s support more than makes up for the combined hypothetical cheers of a whole fanclub or the voices of the public – right now, just Genos’ words are enough for Saitama. :’)

TO BE CONTINUED

[kammartinez]

So I’ve been watching Trevor Belmont fight with that whip, and it tells me just how badass he actually is.

You see him use it fairly frequently throughout the series, but you really see his expertise at it in Episode 4 (those who’ve made it to the end of the series know exactly which fight I’m talking about, and those who haven’t...well, you’re in for a treat). And while I was watching it, I remembered something some martial artists of my acquaintance have said about what they call “soft weapons”.

So in wushu and kung-fu, there are different categories of weapon, and depending on which school you talk to or even which shop, that categorisation can vary, but they do agree on categorising weapons as “hard” and “soft” types. Generally speaking, “hard” weapons are things like swords, daggers, staves - basically anything that doesn’t bend in order to whack a target. “Soft” weapons, on the other hand, are things like rope darts, meteor hammers - and whips (specifically the nine-section, or chain, whip). Soft weapons, therefore, are weapons that have to bend in order to whack a target. 

This bendiness presents interesting possibilities for weapons-users. Unlike hard weapons, which move in relatively predictable arcs of movement, soft weapons are extremely unpredictable. A user of soft weapons can come at an opponent from up front, certainly, but they can come in from the side, from behind, maybe even from down below - and their opponent would have a very hard time trying to figure out where the strike will come from. And the longer the weapon, the less predictable it becomes: consider a nunchaku, which is essentially just two sticks linked together by a short chain, versus something like a rope dagger or a whip. The longer the bendy part of a soft weapon, the greater the range of movement and, therefore, the greater the unpredictability of said weapon. In the hands of a master, that little dagger on the end of a rope can be a whole lot deadlier than a straightforward sword because your opponent will not be able to figure out where the next strike will come from (unless they have a lot of experience fighting someone using said weapon, or, you know, are preternaturally gifted). 

Another bonus of the soft weapons is that they move ridiculously fast for relatively little effort, which translates to greater impact power. Sure, swinging a meteor hammer around is hard work, but the metal ball at the end of that meteor hammer is moving way faster than any sword or dagger out there, and since increasing speed will also increase power of impact upon contact, it doesn’t take much of a leap of logic to realise that getting smacked in the forehead by a meteor hammer wielded by an expert (many of whom can get that thing going very, very fast - I don’t know how fast, but I’m pretty sure it’s damn fast) is not going to end well for the person who gets smacked. 

But that same unpredictability and speed that makes soft weapons so damn useful in a fight are also their greatest weaknesses. Since they’re difficult to predict, users can hurt themselves as easily as hurt their opponents - even experts can have this problem too. And since speed and unpredictability are multiplied when the bendy part of a soft weapon gets longer, imagine the amount of speed the tip of a meteor hammer or rope dagger can get up to, and then imagine it being wielded by a novice, or an extremely clumsy person, and, well... You can imagine the carnage. It’s why, supposedly, many wushu and kung-fu masters don’t encourage their students to pick up soft weapons early in their training. You need a certain level of discipline, expertise, and I suspect pain tolerance before you’re allowed to start swinging a soft weapon around - both as a way to keep others safe, and to keep yourself safe. 

Now: what does this all mean for our beloved Trevor Belmont, last son of the House of Belmont? First, consider what I’ve just mentioned above, particularly the cons associated with soft weapons. Now, consider how fast the tip of a whip can go. You know that cracking sound you hear when a whip gets cracked? That’s the tip breaking the sound barrier. That’s how fast it goes: as fast as a supersonic jet. That is a lot of speed - enough to cut through skin if handled by an expert, according to this. Training and fighting with one is likely to hurt you and the people around you. This is not a weapon you put in the hands of a novice fighter, and anyone who fights with one is bound to be lethal with it.

Recall the fight in Episode 4. Consider the way Trevor manipulates the whip, moves with it, like it’s an extension of himself, how he knows all the teeny-tiny quirks of its motion enough to know how to manipulate one small part of it to get the entire thing to move where and how he wants it. And consider, too, that never once does he hit himself or Sypha with it. Or at least, he doesn’t hit Sypha at all, and himself lethally; as I said, even martial arts experts who use soft weapons know that they need to expect they’ll hit themselves at some point, but what matters is that they don’t do too much damage to themselves in the process. But the fact that he can use it as well as he does is possibly the clearest indication of his fighting prowess, of his talent as a warrior. Imagine how much training he must have had to go through to get that good with the thing. Imagine all the hard work and sweat and tears and likely blood he had to put into becoming that good with the whip. Learning to fight with a whip to the same level as Trevor Belmont is clearly operating at is no small thing.

TL;DR Trevor Belmont is a badass fighting machine and you cannot tell me otherwise.

[serve-the-legion]

Gul’dan’s coma (Headcanon):

~ So yeah. Since I mix movie lore with pre-established game lore, Gul’dan’s coma and Doomhammer’s rise to power has been a fuzzy topic in my head for a while. In the original canon, Gul’dan is pretty much trying to hop on up into Medivh’s mind and while he’s doing this Medivh get’s his head chopped off or some shit - blasting Gul’dan into a coma. Obviously the movie does things a bit different in regards to these events and that in mind I wanna clear up what I PERSONALLY HEADCANON as what went down. Keep in mind when I RP I’ll be playing Gul’dan off the idea that THIS is how things went down. 

---

The events following the Battle of the Dark Portal (which we see in the film) more or less follow a similar timeline to what we see in original lore - save of course that Llane is already dead and so is Medivh, as is Blackhand. With this change in place from original lore, Gul’dan assumes direct control over the Horde - proclaiming himself pretty much Warchief. The Shadow Council has to work double-time behind the scenes to pick up the slack that is now left in Blackhand’s void. It’s risky shit going down - what with Gul’dan losing IMMENSE public face due to his public MURDER of Durotan. 

With the original plan to bring the rest of the Horde over thwarted, Gul’dan slowly begins to amass more and more fuel to re-open the portal single-handily... and KEEP it open this time. As this power is amassed, the Horde continues to push the offensive best they can, allying with assorted other ‘enemy races’ of the Alliance. Y’know. Forest Trolls n’ shit. You know how it goes. One thing leads to another very much how it did in the original lore and soon the Siege of Stormwind begins - yet the orcs now have a STAGGERINGLY TITANIC army at their disposal thanks to Gul’dan finally being able to pry open the Dark Portal again. Stormwind is overwhelmed in time and the defenses fall - the Horde pours into the city. Gul’dan, in a move which is rare, is directly involved in the battle. Of course he’s chilling back until certain victory becomes apparent, which then he storms behind the droves of the Horde into Stormwind.

As the campaign against the Alliance pushed ever onward, it is important to include that Gul’dan’s sway over Garona grew as strong as it was in the days before the Dark Portal. Slowly yet surely - Gul’dan weaved his wicked spells about her yet again, and made her a mindless killing machine with the snap of a finger. It was as sick as it sounds. During the razing of Stormwind - Garona was one of the first to enter the city... she made way to the Seat of the Queen. 

As orcs burned the city to the ground and slaughtered or took captive any in their path, Garona was far ahead of them and slew Queen Taria - though not on her free will. Varian watched as this took place before him, and he too would’ve perished if not for the quick intervention of Anduin Lothar. Lothar would’ve cut down Garona there if not for at that moment, a torrent of orc warriors poured into the palace - he time to avenge his sister and queen was not this day, however terrible it tore him apart. 

Rendezvousing with Khadgar at the docks of Stormwind, Lothar frantically demanded of the mage where his niece, Adariall Wrynn was. Khadgar informed Lothar that she was on a ship already out to sea. It is then the heroes of the Alliance and fleeing citizens took to the sea - all that could make it. 

Red fires in the city began to spring up into frightful towers of fel fire - Gul’dan was on the warpath now. Garona rushed to Gul’dan amidst the hellish carnage and informed him that ships were attempting escape from the harbor and the two of them rushed to the conquered mouth of the harbor. He stood atop a high vantage point alone, looking out across the harbor at his prey.

Gul’dan, looked upon the escaping ships like an owl looks down on unsuspecting field mice. In this day Gul’dan was a horrifying and monstrous force of dark energy, the lifeforce of thousands flowed through him and his power was without equal... or so he thought. Churning green energies in the dark skies above him, Gul’dan began to mustered up a terrible attack which would massacre every living thing which floated upon the water. As he could feel the power swell within him, Gul’dan let out a bone-chilling laugh which thundered across the crashing waters. 

Khadgar rushed to the stern of the ship which he, Lothar, and Varian sailed upon. In this terrible war with the Horde, Khadgar had learned more than enough to know what cataclysmic force was about to crash down upon the escaping survivors. Casting his voice to boom between the ships all about the bay, Khadgar called to any mages upon the escaping ships to contribute hastily to a last-ditch effort to deflect what was coming. Pouring their magical skill and wit into the air about the escaping ships, the mages of Stormwind cast together a spell so mighty that it would be worthy of song - even if it was a spell of desperation. 

Gul’dan saw what was being attempted - and his pride blinded him. Seeing himself as invincible and the flimsy magical shield before him as no more than another wall to be broken down with ease, Darkness Incarnate began to finish his wicked sorcery. The sky split and crackled with unearthly horror. Fel shot up from the ground like geysers of hot steam. The very earth shook and sundered under the power which Gul’dan now channeled within his rotten soul. When the whole world seemed on the verge of practically cracking, Gul’dan yanked down from the blackened heavens his bombardment and sent it hurling towards the escaping fleet. 

The impact shook Stormwind the likes of which would not be felt until the Cataclysm - yet while Deathwing’s future decimation of the land would be fully realized - Gul’dan’s would not. Against all odds - the barrier held. Not only that; the barrier DEFLECTED the and SHOT the majority of the magical bombardment back through the ether of space and INTO Gul’dan. The bombardment which did not funnel magically into Gul’dan crashed upon the docks, annihilating droves of orcs. 

Gul’dan exploded into a blazing ball of Fel fire and was blasted from his perch, zooming back into the crumbling city like a streaking meteor. Through air, wood, and stone Gul’dan flew, his force collapsing multiple sacked homes and even a watchtower before finally crashed into the ash-riddled Earth, blasting a small crater about him. 

Gul’dan had been plummeted into a deep coma. 

What happens next is more or less as it happens in current canon - Doomhammer ceases control of the Horde. Garona sells out a great many of the Shadow Council in a bid for her own life, and y’know... because she hates them and is now freed from Gul’dan’s grasp for now. 

~

So yeah. There it is. And before you say “THERE IS NO WAY GUL’DAN COULD SURVIVE THAT BEATING”. You’re right. He couldn’t. Yet him being wreithed in a semi-protective orb of burning Fel fire is all that kept him from meeting his end. Keep in mind - GUL’DAN WAS PUT TO DEATH’S DOOR BY THIS. IT FUCKIN’ WRECKED HIM FOR SO LONG THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD’VE JUST BEEN THROWN IN A DITCH AND DECLARED DEAD. But that ain’t how the story goes as we sadly know... 

Also. To imagine what Gul’dan ‘flight’ was like... you remember that scene from Hot Rod where Rod falls down the mountain? It’s pretty much that but flying through the air and through things until at last crashing like a damned catapult shot into the ground. 

[firecage]

Khallendra's Official File

Khallendra sas Khaine; VIIth Legion Race: Garlean Pureblood Age: 34 Nicknames: White Tigress Eorzean Alias: Kallie Kane Daughter of Kassandra nan Severus, an instructor at the Magitek Academy, and Tiberius het Khaine Khallendra entered the academy, excelling in physical combat and stratagem. It was learned shortly after her arrival that her father had conditioned her in these subject from a young age, conscripting foreigners as well as other highly skilled members of the military to tutor her along with his own teachings. At the age of 16, Khallendra made her way to active duty breezing through officer training and was offered a position as a Centurio. An offer in which she declined and was assigned to van Darnus of the VIIth, stationed in Eorzea. Report by Centurio Riobus quo Crastor; VIIth Legion “During a routine patrol we were ambushed by locals. I called for a retreat, not realizing until our arrival at our rendezvous point that the surprise attack had divided our unit; only half of our soldiers reporting. Duplicarius Khaine stepped forward with a proposal to double back, using the flank of our enemy to shield our advance. I instructed her that I could not risk what was left of my centuriae. Her response? ‘Then, risk only one.’ Khaine provided me with a rather well thought out plan in a short time and I could not refuse her request as she explained the details. I gave her one bell and the supplies she requested. Not but half a bell later, we witnessed explosions going on where the ambush had initially occurred. I was later told by the members of my centuriae that Khaine had lit off explosives to create the illusion that the enemy were being flanked, forcing them to split their forces. With a majority of them heading towards the blast, the larger half of my centurae rose up to fight back, overtaking the enemy. I can confirm that Duplicarius Khaine took out well over a dozen men as they split off to advance her location, striking when it was most opportune. Her bravery saved many lives, her tactics were sound and she did it all risking only one for the reward of many.” Reports from her centuriae under her command as Centurio; “Khallendra is firm but fair; She is not afraid to tell you how it is.” “She does not give false hope. She proves to us with her actions and her strength that victory is always within our grasp. I have witnessed few leading with the unwavering confidence she has, so much so it is inspiring.” “I leave her pep talks so excited that I can barely sleep. I just could not wait for our operations to begin.” “So many times, soldiers are given a false sense of security or somehow develop unrealistic levels of confidence causing them to believe they are invincible. I've seen many a man lose their lives by being reckless because of this. Khallendra has never allowed her unit to go into battle without being well aware of the consequences one faces while one is fighting and she has also never led us astray with her strategies. She knows how to make a unit become a true cohesive machine, making us all the better for it.” “I'd follow her to my end without a second thought.” The report is of the following mission launched Khallendra from Duplicarius to Centurion doing so in half a cycle. Report from Primus pilus Qusaria rem Liqurdus; “I was giving out the orders and assignments among the manipulus. Centurio Khaine, without hesitation, called into question my plan. Her arrogance led nearly a third of our force to agree, so I told them they would act as our support to keep our encampment warm as a punishment for questioning a superior officer.” Follow up report by Centurio Motosai quo Kasahagi; “There was a rumble from the mouth of the valley as our forces all entered; The enemy had blocked off our only means for retreat, which was similar to what quo Khaine warned us of and suggested to have plan in place should such happen. Primus Liqurdus had argued that the valley was a tactical advantage, punishing those that questioned her strategy. The enemy came at us from nearly all sides, forcing Primus Liqurdus to surrender. There we were dead of night all bound and being watched over. An eerie silence was all that could be heard, when it was suddenly broken by a commotion shortly followed by our captors fleeing for their lives. There we saw Khallendra quo Khaine leading the charge that had our enemies retreating. She had left behind a few soldiers to cut us all free while her unit caught up to the enemy, dispensing them. Qusaria made the choice to reprimand Khallendra when she returned, her tone furious and her body entirely too close. She had claimed that every was going according to her plan. Khaine laid her out.” Reports showed that the Primus Pilus’ plan would have likely cost several lives and risked the mission entirely. Khallendra did what was necessary of her to ensure victory and the survival of the unit with as few losses as possible. Instead of being reprimanded for her actions, she was promoted to Primus Pilus. Reports from her centuriae while she was Primus Pilus; “My first encounter with rem Khaine, she was giving an inspirational speech before an operation, just as any before her. It was to my surprise that I saw her fighting alongside us. Not off at the rear, directing us, but at the front lines. Her words were not only words, but a promise. I was inspired by her presence.” “After returning from an unsuccessful mission, rem Khaine went over all the things we did wrong, then suddenly followed up with how, despite our overall failure, we did do some things right. Not only did she tell us what we were successful with, she took a portion of the blame as our commanding officer, explaining how she too failed us, but it was a lesson learned for all. I felt valued and encouraged even though we lost.” As project meteor became a known focus of the the VIIth, Khallendra along with others were sought out by to covertly aid the Eorzean Alliance against Van Darnus, so that we the empire would have an intact Eorzea to conquer. After years spent with Nael van Darnus, Khallendra noticed he was subtly acting strangely. This encouraged her to do as was requested. In exchange for her aid, she was promised rewards upon success. Official report shows this was not what drove her, but the fact that her legion was acting out of the interests of Garlemald was enough for her. Khallendra submitted a proposal to build a covert facility in the soon to be residential district called the Mists. She suggested this location due to its ability for ideal receival of shipments. Her proposal was for a house that would act as a decoy with a fully functional Castrum beneath. Darnus approved the facility, providing funds and resources needed to make it happen. Khallendra requisitioned Katherina mal Khaine to have a heavy hand in the design and security. Khallendra’s report; “The day is upon us that van Darnus plans to unleash Dalamud upon Eorzea. I have caught wind that the requested assistance from the XIVth did not go well. I hope all my efforts to afford Eorzea the chance to thwart this were not for nothing.” Khallendra’s official report after returning to Garlemald following her survival at the battle of Carteneau was as follows. This battle saw many of those who looked to her for guidance slain; many of whom were friends and trusted cohorts. Proving she would do what needed to be done no matter the cost. “The grand companies held strong as the moon came down. It unleashed the dreaded Bahamut and I saw allies burnt to ash… I consider myself lucky to be alive, but I know it is because my fight is far from over. Van Darnus had lost her mind to the powers at work, using her whole legion as pawns for this great power… The corruption ran deep into our ranks it would seem. Not everyone is meant to wield the power they are given.” Her report and loyalty to the Empire from aiding in preventing more chaos and destruction than there could have been, Khallendra rem Khaine was promoted to Praefectus Castrum, assigned to the VIIIth Legion in Othard. There, she was responsible for training conscripts, aiding the imperial shadow program, defense of Castrums, ensuring facilities ran at high capacity, even overseeing a few experiments and even managed to learn some of Othard’s specific arts of combat, such was her dedication to her assignments. Khallendra sas Khaine had, and still has, a keen eye for potential, seeing countryman and conscript alike promoted as well as skill potential unlocked. With this keen eye she was also able to route out weakness and pluck it from the ranks. Sas Khaine came forth with a request of a special unit that she would personally command where this unit would be hand picked to undergo the most dangerous of operations. She set forth rigorous trials to determine who was worthy. It became known as the Garlean death squad, a group that was as fearless as it was formidable. They left piles of bodies and carnage in their wake. Completing dozens of operations with no casualties but extensive collateral damage. They became a fear factor among the residents of Othard. Her chosen are as follows: Octavia Severus A magitek engineer with a keen eye for archery, known for her specialty magitek arrows. She engineered her own bow, quiver and nearly a dozen special arrow types. She is also infamous for her over the top personality and thirst for combat. Dexius Octavius A known marksman. His combat specialty was wielding his personally crafted sniper blade. He was also responsible for crafting an armor piercing bullet. By hollowing out the tip of a pointed bullet, he was able to make a devastating, light weight weapon. These bullets took time to craft but he had production down to a science. He is known for being a coward in close range combat or so he liked to make people believe and is also quite the womanizer. Sleeping Smile An axe wielding hellsguard that was a spy for the Garlean Empire until she was discovered and had her tongue cut out for her actions. She turned from a life of a spy to a conscript out for vengeance. She uses a master crafted spiked axe that can launch its spikes as projectiles. Ulnant Vuinier An Ishgardian conscript, one that is quite pompous. Having grown up in high houses of Ishgard, he had a fascination with shiny, extravagant things. He was excommunicated after partaking in dragon's blood. He eventually came upon a Garlean patrol where he was asked to join or die. Being a great lancer prior to the Empire, he took to a gun-halberd all too well, feeling right at home with the new weapon. Tsuda Katsuhiko An imperial shadow and a resident of Doma that chose to fight with the strong instead of defending the weak. Tsuda would use his skills in unique ways, proving to be as sadistic as he was deadly. Refer to file on Doman Death Squad for further detail in operations. Reports from her Legion while she was Praefectus Castrum; Castrum Sentry “I was sent to face the Praefectus after allowing an intruder to break into the Castrum... I went half expecting to be demoted or, at worse, killed. I got there, gave my salute, and was immediately circled menacingly, as if I were sized up for my worth. I was told that this mistake was as far as I could fall and that I could only hope to go up from here; to learn from what was done. She went on to tell me the ramifications of what the break in could mean… while not outright saying so, she made it clear I had only one more chance.” Centurio Grastelius “Having to report my failure to the Praefectus after losing half my platoon was more than just swallowing my pride, as the Empire was not known to reward failure, especially for those of high rank. The Praefectus ordered I write letter to the families of each of the soldiers that died, admitting my failure and explaining how their son or daughter, husband or wife had fought valiantly. I was also commanded to admit failure to those that lived and hand my next mission to be lead by my Optio. I later learned that she also used to write letters to the families of the fallen. I was beholden to ask, but one sun I gathered the courage; Why did you have me write them? Her response was,’While yes they were just another soldier and perhaps nothing special or valuable at all, their family did not see them as such. If we wish to rule over these people, let them know, or at least let them perceive, that we cared about their loved one's sacrifice. It could very well prevent someone from rising up. Ruling requires fear but also some semblance of respect.’” Duplicarius “Praefectus sought to reward success and punish failure. Once a season, she would host a victory feast for the two highest performing Cohorts. The least successful were made to defend the Castrum while we would have the feast. Speeches were given, recognition was given and sometimes even promotions. One of the things known for during these feasts became was what we called the Praefectus Challenge; a drinking contest or test of fighting skill. The winner would get anything they desired, which inspired many. At the feast I attended, you could hear the silence fill the room for a moment as everyone thought of what they might want and then excited murmurs and chatter. Word spread of these feasts and inspired other Cohorts to perform at their best. I heard one feast had three recognized Cohorts because they performed that well.” Khallendra spent five and a half cycles in Doma, turning down a promotion in the process. Her leadership came to an abrupt end after a failed assassination attempt by a shinobi. Having survived, but not being medically cleared to carry out her duties, she was sent back to Garlemald where she proposed to finish the facility she requisitioned Darnus for. She explained that she would run a covert operation and once it was fully operational the facility could act as an additional resource for the XIVth. With the fall of the XIVth and the successful amount of intel and data gathered, her operation continues; Khallendra operates currently under no direct legion. Receiving her orders from her former Legatus, Jovian Zingus, but is allowed to be acquired by a legion who operates within Eorzea. Jovian van Zingus, recommendation for his former Praefectus. “To any who might acquire Praefectus Khaine; her loyalty is tried and true. Above and beyond she serves in everything she does. She has the incredible ability of turning weakness into strength and her attention to detail and keen mind for stratagem are among her strongest qualities. Her methods for training are unorthodox but effective. Khaine is a leader who stands with and not behind her unit, with a record to show she can bring out the best in her legion or unit. She is a valuable asset to any team.” Individuals who report to Khallendra sas Khaine, Talon quo Khaine Katherina mal Khaine Lucrezia eir Valenzetti Crescentia pyr Ligarius Octavia oen Severus L’nela aan Varya Lists names of at least a dozen more, standard ranking soldiers as well as a few spies, having a spy in each grand company as well as Ishgard. Note from Praefectus Architectorum “Khaine medically cleared for field combat.”

[nezzfiction]

ENMY Chapter 34 - Dual Nature

Chapter Synopsis: Yang takes a step closer to finding her true place in the world, for the worse or for the better.

Series Synopsis : Team RWBY is disbanded, and Yang must find herself new allies. For her, yesterday’s enemies are today’s friends(?). Joining up with the likes of Emerald, Mercury, and Neo, the four comprise Team Enemy.

Links to read the series: Ao3 or FF.net

Or hit the jump below

Dual Nature

.

It is a precarious moment

When the person we desire to be

Either joins or disappears

With who we become.

.

.

When Yang became aware, she realized she was standing on the surface of a vast ocean.

The last thing she remembered was taking the Dust and Bane shards. Her mother and father watching patiently over her. And then, nothing.

Now, she was here.

Instead of sinking into the water, her boots planted on it like it were solid ground. The smallest shift of her feet sent a thin ripple out for miles.

Yang scanned 360 degrees around her, but spotted no land in sight. Just an endless horizon that seemed to stretch for eternity.

The sky was clear blue, without a single cloud in sight. It almost melded completely into the ocean’s surface, like a dizzying mirror effect.

“This is…different,” Yang muttered. “Am I in the Never Realm?”

“The minds of Remnant’s inhabitants drift closest to the Never Realm, when they are dreaming,” loomed a dark, bellowing voice.

Yang went on instant alert, checking all sides for the source. Still, she found nothing but empty space.

“Who are you?”

“Do you not recognize me?”

“…You’re that voice in my dreams.”

“So you do remember. Dreams are often difficult to recall. But recalling them in a dream comes easier.”

“A dream—makes sense. Why don’t you show yourself, so we can have a nice face to face?”

“I am before you. You need only look.”

As soon as Yang drew her gaze down, she had to stop herself from giving a frightful yelp.

A great leviathan swam just beneath the water’s surface. Its long, reptilian body was as thick as a train car—twining and snaking across. There was no telling the creature’s true length and girth. And just the sight of it made Yang feel too small and too out in the open.  

“Do not be afraid,” another voice came. This one brighter and clear.

Another monstrous entity moved under her feet. It was not as long as the other, but just as massive with its great wingspan. The feathers on its tail danced with trails of various colored ribbons. An intense benevolence emanated from it, overwhelming Yang in a different way.

The girl swallowed her fear with a strainful gulp.

“You two are the halves within me?” she managed to eke out. “My Semblances.”

“”Yes,”” they answered in unison.

“Though, the other should have ceased to hold such sway long ago.”

“Indeed,” the lighter voice chuckled.

“If it wasn’t for that meddler.”

“Who are you guys talking about?”

“The one you call Masa Moon. She must have foresaw this.”

“What does she have to do with anything?”

The mention of the robotic-eyed doctor and weapon tech confused her.

“The arm she forged you functions in accordance with your Valor. Tis the only reason I remain viable. For you would have depended on the other, if differently.”

“I see…So, dad was right? I can overwrite the Reaper’s Semblance, then?”

“Your exceptional nature forces that choice upon you.”

“The duality that exists within your soul is most peculiar. A heart stained in equal parts black…”

“…and equal parts white.”

“Decisions made with nefarious intent…”

“…actions taken in noble sentiment.”

“”A dual nature. Therefore, you must judge and be judged.””

Yang almost made a fleeting backstep upon the vague images of two titanic heads rising to the surface. Their shadows growing larger and larger as they approached. But just as they broke the water, the leviathans took on different forms. Ones much smaller.

They emerged before Yang, two separate copies of herself.

The variant to her right, was clouded in black miasma. Its eyes ran a piercing scarlet. And the arm, that was supposed to be prosthetic, was a demonic claw-like limb. The bloodthirst reaching out from it was so thick it was palpable.

To her left, was a form of her beset with multicolored flames. The heat given off was so intense, it bent the air around it. Combined with its luminescence, Yang had trouble just standing in its presence. The figure, threatening to engulf her entirely.

“A great many battles await you. As does the most powerful adversary of them all,” the dark voice boomed. “You require me.”

Yang forced herself to look at them straight on.

“The Reaper’s Semblance.”

“Accepting yourself and your past takes true strength. Your wounds are painful, but from them, derive fortitude.” Yang’s darker self conjured Winter’s body out of thin air, clutching her neck in its grasp. “Never forget. Never turn away. Be firm in your conviction.” It tossed the corpse at Yang’s feet.

She flinched, but did her best to remain firm.

“After experiencing Em’s hallucinated traumas, I can’t let something like this shake me too much. No matter how much it hurts,” Yang gritted her teeth.

Still, she wanted to reach out for Winter’s body.

But the corpse sunk into the watery depths, and the fiery version of Yang began her piece.

“You possess a great heart, a valiant one of compassion and a willingness. Silencing it will cast shadows of doubt and breed disquiet in your soul. With clarity, you will burn brighter than any star. You will grow, you will change, and you will roar.”

It held a flame in its hand, and within the blaze were memories of Yang’s highest and lowest points.

She felt herself experiencing those moments again. The emotions threatened to consume her from within, and overflow. A sensation of being drowned made her heart pump dangerously fast.

Yang shut her eyes tight and kept her balance.

“So…! I pick one of you, and that’s what I become? That’s the deal, right?” she struggled to speak.

“”Yes,”” they responded together.

“What happens after that? What happens to the other…’Yang’?”

There was a slight pause.

“You must choose one of us to be your ally. Together, we will defeat the other.”

“Although, the enemy you deem, will surely summon resistance. A dreadful foe depending on your decision.”

“Bear in mind, it is no easy task to defeat one of us, even with the other’s help.”

“This is a trial with your very soul as wager. You must be resolved.”

“You must not be discouraged.”

“You must devour.”

“You must be noble.”

Yang weighed their words.

“But one of you has to ’die’?”

“”That is correct,”” the doppelgangers echoed. “”To take one identity means to kill the other. The road not taken, ceases to exist. It is natural.””

Yang heard them and understood…

…

But she still didn’t like it.

In truth, Yang had her own biases from the very start. Her parents meant well, and so did the figures before her. But she couldn’t shake off the first thought that came to mind, when she first heard their proposals.

Her answer was ridiculously straightforward and simple. It was what she lived by. And suddenly, she did not care for the “natures” of her Semblances, or their ultimatum. They could both leave her, and she would merely find another way.

The thought alone, lifted an enormous weight from her shoulders, and she regained her confidence.

“Hmmm~” Yang’s lips twisted into a mischievous grin. “I’ve got a better idea~”

The flame and shadow apparitions looked at her curiously, then awaited her answer.

She inhaled deep, and filled her lungs with air. Yang balled up her uncertainties into her hands and clenched her fist.

“How about—you both come at me?” The girl wiped her nose with a cocky sneer. “And the winner takes all.”

Yang stomped her feet on the liquid surface and entered her fighting stance. Her lead right hand extended, and then beckoned them both forward—a gesture of taunting and unwavering confidence.

“”This is your answer?””

“Yup! NOW, BRING IT ON!!!”

.

* * * * *

.

“Hm?”

Yang stood dumbstruck at the scene of carnage before her.

The sparring grounds she had been taught to fight in since she was little, was now in complete ruins. Random pockets of flames flicked about. Craters dotted all across the earth, like the aftermaths of a meteor shower.

But perhaps most worthy of note, were Yang’s parents.

Blood trickled down Taiyang’s cheek, while Raven’s shoulder piece armor was caved in, with a part of it fractured off. Both of them looked rough and scraped in a few places. Their weapons directed at her.

Yang’s attention drifted to her own body’s condition, and found she too appeared to have been through a fight.

“You back to your senses, sunshine?” her father asked tiredly.

“Yeah…dad…” she scratched the back of her head in an awkward manner. “Did I do all this?”

“Nothing your father won’t be able to fix,” Raven answered, while sheathing her sword. She tried to fix her messy hair, but failed. “More importantly, how did the trial go?”

But it was in that instant, Raven and Taiyang sensed Yang’s Semblance activate. Both of them tensed on instinct. Their sixth sense triggered more violently than when she had gone berserk.

They both noticed their daughter watching them with a powerful gaze. Raven was the first to understand it wasn’t the Reaper’s Semblance, but something else entirely.

“It went pretty good,” Yang answered her.

She observed the cracks of light in her parents’ bodies. The scars fluctuated and sparked like live electricity or flame.

It was just as Yang first thought about her Semblance.

They are beautiful.

She showed her parents a gentle, but also cocky smile.

I can see them.

The Life In All Things.

    //p4-ca!<�@ߗX