#WHAT WILL DRUNK ERICA COME UP WITH????????? we have to find out

[morganski-19]

Chills Right to the Marrow Part 48

ao3 link| part 1 . . . part 45, part 46, part 47

Everyone forms a circle in Steve’s living room. Sitting crossed legged on the floor, waiting. Some people are missing, El wanted to stay with her dad, and Jonathan’s still avoiding Nancy at all costs. There’s a walkie in the center of the circle, open to the same channel. If El needed them, she could listen.

Steve, Robin, and Nancy are talking in the kitchen. Probably getting a little bit drunk. Coping in a way that they won’t let the rest of them. Trying to be the strong ones, when they don’t have to. Tonight’s going to be rough for all of them, they could break just once without consequence.

It’s almost time, Dustin goes to get them.

“Nance,” he hears Robin say, “he won’t come. He’s still pissed at you.”

“And me,” Steve adds.

A glass gets placed hard on the counter. “I don’t care. Before all of this, he was my friend.” He hears their steps move toward the front door and the rustle of keys. “We were there for each other when this started, we’re going to be there for each other as it ends.”

“But if he doesn’t want to talk to you,” Steve tries to reason.

“I don’t care.” There’s a slight waiver to Nancy’s voice. Dustin’s not sure he’s ever seen her cry over this. Seen any of them cry over this. “I don’t know how I can get through this without him, and I’m not going to find out.”

Dustin walks to the hall as the front door opens. Jonathan’s behind it, looking like he was in the middle of a debate with himself. He doesn’t look good. Eyes red rimmed and drooping. Clothes rumpled and looked like they were a few days old.

“Hey,” he says with a hollow voice.

“Hi,” Nancy responds.

He clears his throat. “I’m still pissed at you, but—” he trails off.

“I know.”

The clock on the wall ticks five minutes till nine. “Guys,” Dustin calls down the hall. “It’s almost time.”

Steve’s head nods, solemn. “Let’s go.”

Eddie’s there when they return to the living room, sitting on the floor. “Kids said I could join,” he says to Steve. Something unreadable in his eyes. “Is that ok?”

“Course it is,” Steve says as he sits next to Eddie. Closer than Dustin was expecting.

The circle closes and they join hands. Tangible proof that everyone is still here. Dustin is between Robin and Erica, with Steve just on the other side of Robin. Right there. Alive.

Right on cue, the fireworks start.

Dustin squeezes his eyes shut with the first boom. Sparks visualize in his mind. Red arms of flesh swinging at him. He takes the fireworks and throws it. They win, but at what cost.

Erica tightens her grip on his hand. He squeezes back to show her he’s alive.

“Steve,” Robin whispers.

“Still alive,” he responds. Voice wet.

Dustin feels her shift closer to him.

He forces his eyes open, forces the visions to stop. Those of the group who have their eyes open meet his gaze. All of them in a state of fear or grief. They are all in this together. The fireworks continue to boom.

Nancy keeps looking over to Mike to make sure he’s there. Before nodding at each of them, counting heads. Jonathan’s legs are pulled up to his chest. Will keeps flinching his one arm, ready to feel the eeriness creep at his neck. Lucas moved his arm around Erica’s shoulders, holding her close.

He looks at all of them and knows that he isn’t alone. He isn’t alone in his pain, or his wishing things could be different. As Mike and Nancy look at each other again, he knows they spend so much time wishing the other wasn’t a part of this. As Max can’t hold in her cries anymore, he knows that Lucas wishes he never told her about the upside down that day.

As Steve mutters out a quiet, “I work at Scoops,” Dustin wishes he never dragged him into this.

But the past can’t change. It’s already been written. Dustin can hope and wish and pray that things played out differently. He can blame himself for the rest of his life, but it won’t change anything. Because their paths would have always converged in the same way. Always leading them here.

The radio crackles in the center of the circle, El’s voice comes through. “Almost over.”

He knows that he’ll always probably blame himself. That he will always wish that things were different. That he’ll wish the nightmares were normal ones about his teeth falling out in class or forgetting he had a test. He’ll wish that time was different, that his life never had to change like this. But maybe he can make peace with the fact that it will never change.

Maybe he can make peace that these people don’t blame him for this. They’ll wish the same as him, that they never got involved, but it was inevitable. That night when Will went missing, it changed the paths for everyone in this room. Choices were made that can’t be taken back, and they’ll regret some of them for the rest of their lives.

But, with each other, they can move forward from this as one and finally heal. The last fight has been fought. Been won. As the time moves forward, so can they. Together.

“Brace yourselves,” Dustin whispers, knowing what the big finale is like. They all wait for it to end.

He used to love fireworks. Would beg his mom to bring him to the fair every year just so he could see him. And when he was old enough, he would bike there with the party and just stand there in awe. The perfect mix of science, his greatest love, making art in the sky.

As the last boom of the night rings through the air, Dustin hopes he can enjoy it again someday. He promises himself that one day, he will.

No one moves for a few minutes after they end. Sitting still to calm the beatings of their hearts. They made it through.

Almost in synchrony, they all start to move. Standing up, wiping the tears from their eyes. Returning to normal. Finding themselves again.

“Steve?” Eddie asks softly after Steve doesn’t move. Sitting there rigid.

He nods. “I’m ok.” He straightens his back, revealing the wet trail of tears down his cheeks. “You ready?” he asks Robin.

“Yeah.”

She gets up first, holding out her hand for him. They go in two different directions. Robin getting a bag from the hallway, while Steve grabs a bottle of alcohol from the cabinet and a box of matches.

Dustin follows them as they go outside. “What are you guys doing?”

Steve places the bottle of alcohol, what looks like expensive tequila, next to the fire pit. “After that night, we made a pact. A year from then, we burn our uniforms.”

“To prove that we made it out,” Robin continues, her voice sounding dry. “To prove that we never have to go back.”

She hands Steve the bag and he dumps the uniforms into the fire pit. The blood and sweat soaked uniforms ready to be set ablaze.

Steve unscrews the tequila and pours it over them, wasting more than he probably should.

“You want to do the honors,” he asks Robin, handing her the box of matches.

She takes it with shaky hands, striking the match and tossing it into the pit. The fire starts instantly.

Robin sobs as she falls into Steve. His cries are silent as he wraps her in a hug. Holding each other as they watch the outfit from the worst night of their lives burn to ash. Dustin walks back inside, letting them have this moment to themselves.

Eddie is watching from the sliding doors. “What are they burning?”

“Their Scoops uniforms, they were wearing them when it all went down.”

Nancy walks up to the door. “I never knew what happened to them that night, every time I try to ask, they avoid answering it.”

She looks at Dustin for answers he doesn’t even know the whole of. “I think they were tortured. When we went into that bunker, we got separated. They held the door closed so me and Erica could escape into the vent. After we rescued them, Steve’s face was beaten up and they were tied to chairs, and drugged. I never got any confirmation, but I knew.”

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie breathes out. Still staring out the glass. His arms held close to his chest.

“Do you remember their faces when we went into that vent,” Erica asks from behind them. “They were scared, but they still chose to save us.”

Dustin turns, seeing the group that had formed behind him. All watching the fire outside. He nods. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget.”

“There are so many things from that night that I won’t forget,” Max speaks up.

“There are so many things from the last four years that I won’t forget,” Mike adds.

Will reaches to grab his hand. “Yeah.”

“We should go back to the living room,” Nancy says. “So we’re not just staring at them.”

Eddie is the last to leave the room, still staring at them through the door.

“He’s been acting weird all week," he explains as Dustin hangs back. “I knew it had to be something bad, I just didn’t imagine that.”

“No one wants to imagine half the things that we’ve been through.”

“Yeah, guess so.”

They rejoin the group in the living room. Jonathan grabs his keys and fills his car with the people who want to go home. Him and Nancy talking before he leaves. She hangs around, making sure everyone left is taken care of.

Eddie just sits on the couch, looking out of place. But he’s waiting for something, Dustin can tell.

“Hey,” Mike nudges Dustin’s shoulder. “I just wanted to let you know that we’re going over to my house for the night. Just in case you didn’t want to go home.”

Dustin thinks about it. He was going to see if he could stay the night here. Be close to Steve. But he might be ok. And by not being here, Steve could worry about just himself for a night. Not Dustin as well.

“Yeah,” he says. “I think that’s a good idea.”

Eventually, Steve and Robin come back inside. Robin nods at Nancy before climbing the stairs up to Steve’s room. Steve and Eddie share a look when they pass. He stops and places a hand on Dustin’s shoulder, pulling him into a hug, before following Robin up the stairs.

Before Eddie can get to his room, Dustin stops him. “I’m going over to Mike’s, call me if anything happens.”

Eddie nods. “I got them, don’t worry.”

“Thank you.”

Nancy waits by the door. Mike, Lucas, and Dustin follow her out to the car. They drive to the house is quiet. Everyone is still reeling from tonight.

Jonathan’s car is parked out on the street when they get there. Will, Max, and Erica coming out with their bags.

“You could stay too, you know,” Nancy says to Jonathan. “No one should be alone tonight.”

“I thought about it, but I think it’s better if I go home.”

Nancy nods, accepting.

“See you around, Nance,” he says before getting back in his car.

“You could stay in the basement with us,” Mike offers, “if you need to.”

Nancy nods again, blinking away the tears in her eyes. Following them inside.

The basement floor is covered in blankets and pillows. Everyone finding a spot to lie down comfortably. Dustin stares at the ceiling, waiting for the tired fall of his eyes. So he can wake up tomorrow and feel better. Feel less like pure dread.

Slowly, he can hear the people around him start to fall asleep. Tomorrow will be better than today, he repeats in his mind. Peaceful sleep taking over.

the notes you guys left on my last post literally made my day, you have no idea. hugs for all of you.

tag list (closed): @the-they-who-nerded, @insteviewetrust, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @jettestar,

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@papergrenade, @waelkyring, @sweetheartprincess28, @katouasobj, @astercomoasflores

[malleleothreesome]

1h (drunk confession) with Fellow doing the confessing

I have like, 2 other WIPs for my writing event that I feel so blocked on (SORRY LEONA LOVERS [And Ace]) so in my writing block frustration I'm tempted to just get drunk and try to write this instead

[lovelettersforthedamned]

“are we going to talk, or are you going to keep walking away from me.” with peter parker butttt maybe with a happy ending :)

Don’t Be A Stranger

--genre: fluff & angst

--pairing: college!tasm!peter parker x college!gn!reader

--word count: 0.8k

--warnings: mentions of drinking, mentions of being drunk, angst, fluff, language, peter is mean in the beginning.

--gif credits: the very talented, the very amazing, @sincericida

You wish you weren’t here right now, but you needed to be. Your friend, Erica, called you, slurring her words, and clearly not in the right state of mind to be out like this. As soon as she hung up, you made your way downstairs and walked to her location, the party only being a few blocks away. 

A crowded, smelly, and sticky house party was the last place you wanted to be tonight. You’re still in your pajamas, your current state barely making you the center of attention though, the people around you too gone to notice. 

The only person that did notice you was Peter, of fucking course, locking eyes with him from across the packed kitchen. You knew he’d been having a hard time lately, his temper teetering on the edge of madness. In the beginning, you thought that being there for him would be helpful, but god were you wrong. 

Peter blew up on you, and it wasn’t something that was resolved quickly. His words were not stopping as soon as he found something, or someone, to go off on. It seemed to never end, it was like his mouth was spewing hate, and it just so happened to reach you. 

Peter has never done anything like that before, never. So when it did, you stepped back in shock, how could your Peter say such awful things to you? There was a slight hesitation as you left his apartment, heading straight for yours. His voice was faint as you stormed out, hearing a soft ‘baby, wait’. That was a week ago. 

Seeing him at the party was the first time you’ve seen him since then, your heart beating fast and hard the second you two made eye contact. Setting his cup down, he starts to walk towards you, a sense of urgency in his step. You needed to find Erica, you didn’t have time for this. As if on cue, the girl you’ve been looking for attacks you in a bear hug. “(Y/N)! I’ve been looking for you all night,” her voice suddenly became very loud in your ear.

You hold her up, putting one arm around her torso, “I just got here?”

“Oh, right,” Erica’s eyes suddenly droopy, “I wanna go home.”

With that, you started walking very slowly towards the door until a familiar voice called out your name. Turning your head, you see your boyfriend, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. You ignore him and keep walking, Erica is too out of it to realize the situation at hand. 

Peter calls out for you once again, the noise level lowering as you three make your way away from the commotion, “Are we going to talk, or are you going to keep walking away from me?”

You were face to face with the door when he said that, taking a breath before twisting the handle and pulling it open. Without missing a beat you reply, “I don’t know, are you going to yell and berate me again?” 

You only make it a few steps past the threshold before Erica's dead weight becomes too much for you to handle, slowly pulling you to the floor. But Peter’s stronghold prevents you from fully collapsing. He’s situated himself on the other side of her, slinging her arm on top of his shoulder and wrapping his other arm around her back, his hand coming close to touching yours. Now you really couldn’t escape him. 

He wastes no time before speaking again, the silence of the elevator making you anxious “Bug, I’m so fucking sorry. I shouldn’t have blown up at you like that. I want to use my shitty few weeks as an excuse, but truthfully there is no excuse for the way I spoke to you. God, I’m so sorry (Y/N). This will never happen again, and I swear by that.”

Making your way down to the ground floor, you gaze up at Peter with a conflicting look. You know that what he did was wrong, there’s no doubt about that, but why was it so easy for you to forgive him? He slides his hand towards yours, connecting you two together for the first time in a week. You hate to admit that you have missed his touch, the one thing that could make you crumble. 

“I accept your apology, but let’s get her home, she’s pretty out of it.” 

With a nod, you and Peter walk to her apartment, leaving her with her boyfriend who couldn’t make it tonight. 

Walking back onto the dark street, you look up at Peter. You grab his hand, “Sleep over tonight?”

He squeezes your hand, “We’re okay, right?”

“Yeah,” you sigh, “we’re okay, Pete.”

--author's note: a small break from the steamy hot smut! thank you nonnie for submitting this!! i'm always a sucker for some angst tbh, and i love peter;) keep sending in requests!! my inbox is open and my 200 follower celebration is happening right now babe, what's stopping you?? don't forget to like, comment, and reblog if you see something you like. ok, bye ily<333

[moths-in-hats]

Pairing: Erica Reyes/Lydia Martin

Words: 669

Written for @teenwolfrarepairevents August Character of the Month and @torturedpoetskywalker prompt: Post-Canon Moving In Together or Going to the same college together

In the past month, Lydia has found her groove at MIT. She's gotten used to the new environment, new objectives, new faces of going to college. Which is why she's taken aback when she walks into the main library one day and spots a familiar blonde.

“Erica?”

Erica looks up from her laptop. “Oh, Lydia! Hi.”

“I didn't know you went to MIT.”

“Yeah, computing,” Erica replies shyly.

Lydia cocks her head and remembers Erica hacking into her father's insurance records many years ago. She smiles. “It's nice to see you.”

“You too.”

Over the next few months the two girls run into each other more and more. It starts off as knowing smiles across the library —

(“Who's that?” Lydia's friends ask.

“Just someone from home.”)

— and nods in the corridor —

(“Lydia, thank God!” Erica exhales. “Do you know where this building is?”)

— but slowly they morph from old classmates to friends. It surprises Erica to begin with. After all, she used to hate Lydia and people like her. The popular kids who made her life hell. But Erica's changed a lot since freshman year of high school and so has Lydia. Away from the terrors of Beacon Hills High and the horrors of Beacon Hills supernatural scene, Erica finds it easy to like Lydia.

They start spending more time together, studying and helping each other on assignments and going to coffee shops and parks and stores.

It's so nice, Erica thinks, to talk to someone who knows what it means to be supernatural.

(“So what actually is a banshee?” Erica asks one night.

Lydia explains and Erica nods in half understanding.

“Now ask me what a chimera is,” Lydia laughs.

“Oh I missed a lot after I left, huh?”)

It's so nice, Erica thinks, to talk to someone who remembers the time Stiles snorted chocolate milk out of his nose.

(“Did anyone ever tell you about the first time he got drunk?”

Erica's eyes go wide. “No? Tell me immediately!”)

So they become friends. They hang out in each others’ rooms. Lydia encourages Erica to try climbing again. Erica helps Lydia run for student council —

(“We don't need badges.”

“That's where you're wrong, Lydia!”)

— They talk about their fears, their nightmares, their hopes and dreams. They have inside jokes —

(“Oh!” A mutual friend they’re studying with turns to Erica. “Can you make it to the party on Saturday?”

“Maybe,” Erica replies, glancing over at Lydia.

“No, mayflies,” Lydia mutters without looking up from her textbook.

Erica giggles and looks back at their friend. “Sorry, what time did you say it starts?”)

— They click.

And then one day, Erica walks into Lydia's room and throws herself down onto Lydia's bed. “God! I hate my roommate.”

Lydia, at her desk, is undisturbed by the dramatics. “You should come live here,” She says offhandedly.

“What?”

“My roommate's dropping out, going back to Poland. You should move in.”

“Okay.”

So they live together.

They live together.

All the little things about Lydia that Erica had been ignoring become unignorable. Like the way Lydia's hair always smells like strawberries or the way Lydia laughs like an angel or the way Lydia is somehow both incredibly competitive and incredibly bad at Mario Kart.

That last one becomes especially unignorable late one night when they're sitting on Erica's bed playing together. Lydia is losing, of course, so she decides that if she can't win herself the only option is to sabotage Erica. She attempts to grab the controller out of Erica's hands but can't quite reach. After two more tries, Lydia just decides to launch herself at the other girl. This works to knock the controller away. It also, however, means Lydia is now lying on top of Erica on Erica's bed.

“Hi,” Erica says.

“Hi,” Lydia replies.

Erica can feel herself blushing.

“Fuck it,” Lydia mutters and closes the gap between their lips.

Erica kisses back fiercely.

Much later, they're curled up in each other's arms, the Mario Kart all but forgotten.

[sanjuwrites]

wip wednesday

IM BACK! i have been gone for a hot minute because my life caught on actual fire, but im back and better than ever baby <3

to make up for it, i'm posting two different snippets from two different fics, one firstprince and one tarlos! enjoy! thanks to @alrightbuckaroo, @birdclowns, and @inflarescent for the tag!

agent reyes

TK greets him in the morning with a cup of coffee. 

The cup is made to perfection, and Carlos is seriously starting to doubt how much Paul is really involved in TK’s agenda here. 

Carlos murmurs a quiet thank you instead of screaming like he really wants to and approaches Marjan, who’s in a hoodie with the hood up, furiously typing. 

“Marj, have you even slept today?” 

“No sleep when we have a crime syndicate to take down.”

“Okay,” he says slowly, “but I have access to information that the CIA has spent years compiling. Why are you botheri- oh.”

Marjan flips her laptop around and Carlos is startled to find a clone of Sean Cunningham’s l staring back at him. “Marjan, what the fuck? How the hell did you – what?”

“Turns out Cunningham’s lackeys are kind of idiots because the video was sent from Cunningham’s main compound, where he stays. Really, the asshole apparently hasn’t ever heard of a firewall–”

Paul, who’s wandered over, interrupts her. “Marj, get to the point. You do this every time.”

Marjan rolls her eyes but continues. “I traced IP addresses back from the ransom video that was sent to TK’s email address and from there I hacked into his Wi-Fi connection–”

“Marjan, I don’t think any of the intel departments at Langley can do this.” Carlos is staring at her in awe.

She smirks at him, before continuing. “You fools need to stop interrupting me. Anyway, I just hacked through the four laptops hooked up to the Wi-Fi connection until I figured out which one was his. Voila!”

Carlos ducks down, pressing a palm flat to the table as he scrolls through the laptop. “Marjan, this is insane – we have data here that I could only dream of having.”

Marjan smiles tiredly, sipping at the mug of coffee Nancy hands her. “Babe, I think coffee is the last thing I need right now, but thank you. I love you very much,” she says while pressing the mug into Paul’s hands, “but Paul and Carlos are going to play now. We,” Marjan says, pulling Nancy close, “are going to go to bed now. ” Judd whistles from where he is in the kitchen, drawing a laugh out of everyone in the room. 

Nancy wraps her arms around Marjan in reply, “You heard her, gentlemen. I will be taking my girlfriend to bed now, and I expect no interruptions. My girlfriend needs her beauty sleep. It’s decaf, by the way!” she says, her voice faraway now.

alex runs for congress

“Politics hasn’t been my dream for almost twelve years, sweetheart,” Alex says softly, not really making eye contact with Henry.

“Alex, I know what happened with Richards and the emails was brutal, but we have nothing holding us back like that anymore and –”

“It’s not Richards, Hen, it’s you.”

That stops Henry cold, and he looks at Alex, mouth open in shock. “What do you mean?” Alex stays quiet, and Henry pushes further. “Alex, what do you mean?”

Alex continues to avoid eye contact with Henry as he starts talking again. “That night I came to Kensington Palace, you told me you wouldn’t trade one prison for another. You’re barely free from the Crown, Henry, and I don’t want to drag you into the circus of American politics, not when you hated being in the public eye so much, to the point that it almost cost me you. I refuse to let anything cost me you again, so I put all my dreams in a little box and locked it away, because I would rather live a quiet life with you and immigration law than a loud one alone in Congress. I was wine drunk at one of Mom’s fundraisers when I was talking to Erica about wanting to flip Texas again, and I didn’t think it would ever really come up again.”

Henry doesn’t answer, grabbing Alex’s face between his hands and pressing a featherlight kiss to his lips before resting their foreheads together. “Love, I didn’t realize you had that in the back of your mind, and that this was what is stopping you from entering politics. Listen to me,” he says, moving them so he’s looking at Alex eye to eye, “nothing is going to stop me from spending the rest of my goddamn life with you. You could lose your job, become a house husband, or go on to become the president of the United States, and I would not care.” Henry takes a deep breath, and lets it out slowly. “Do you want this, Alex? Like without the influence of anything else, deep down, do you want this? Do you want to run?”

i'm gonna tag @carlos-in-glasses, @catanisspicy, @theghostofashton, @welcometololaland, @rmd-writes, @paperstorm, @bonheur-cafe, @chaotictarlos and @lightningboltreader!

[simplee-dreaming]

What's Your Secret?

Word count: 1577

Summary: The reader, Steve and Robin share secrets with one another in a Russian basement.

-------------------------------------

“Help! Help! Help us!” 

“Robin, no one is coming,” Steve groaned. 

“I got to try, there could be someone. Help!” Robin yelled. 

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Steve asked. Your head drooped as another tear fell from your eye. 

You, Steve and Robin were all tied to chairs, in a Russian basement. Your plan to find out what the Russians were up to had failed. Whilst Dustin and Erica managed to escape, you three were caught, now left scared…and very drugged up. 

“It’s okay Y/N, we’ll get out of here. I promise,” Robin looked at you as you gazed over to her. 

“What if we don’t?” 

“Then we die heroes,” Steve said, swaying. You scoffed. 

“I’ll never see my family again. None of us will. Or our friends.”

“What about Dustin and Erica? Do you think they’ve made it to safety?” Steve asked.

“They could be on their way to rescue us right now,” Robin said, optimistically. 

You all sighed, knowing that the Russians will probably get to you before they would. 

“Let’s play a game,” Steve suggested. 

“What game?” Robin replied.

“Well, if these are our last moments, then why don’t we share our deepest, darkest secrets. That way, we don’t take them to the grave. Or, if we do manage to escape, it means we’ll be closer than ever before.” 

“That sounds so stupid,” you muttered, slurring a bit as the drugs started to kick in.

“I don’t think it’s a bad idea,” Robin shrugged. “Why don’t you start us off, Steve?”

“Oh…um…well…”

“What’s wrong? Don’t want to share your deepest, darkest secret?” You said, sarcastically. 

“I now realise how embarrassing this is.” 

“Oh come on, I’m sure it’s not that bad,” Robin reassured him. 

“Alright…well…back in school, I noticed you quite a bit, Robin. And, uh, I always thought you were very pretty. I just never had the guts to admit it, nor ask you out, and then Nancy came along so of course that was it until we broke up then we started working together and I now realise I still kinda have feelings for you so if we don’t get out of this alive then I want one of you to end me and I’m gonna stop talking now….” Steve drew a sharp intake of breath. 

There was a long pause. Then Robin suddenly burst out laughing.

“Oho my gohod! That is the last thing I expected to come out of your mouth, Harrington!” She exclaimed, doubling over in giggles. You giggled quietly too.

“Alright, I didn’t think it was that stupid,” Steve said, his face going red. 

“Oh Steve. Honey. I’m sorry. I’m just…just not attracted to you. Or any guys. At all.” 

Steve slowly turned to Robin. You watched as his face went from hurt, to confused, to shocked.

“Wh-what do you mean?” 

“I’m gay, Steve. I like women.” 

“Oh. I-I didn’t know.”

“Of course you didn’t. I’ve never told anyone.”

“Why not?” 

“Cause if I did then I wouldn’t be sat here. I’d have been gone a long time ago.” 

“That’s not true.”

“Come on Steve, you saw the way our classmates acted. You’ve seen the way society portrays the gays. I’d be in literal hell.” 

Steve fell silent.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

“It’s okay. I’m glad you think I’m pretty though. I’m so using that against you when we get out.”

Steve smirked. 

“Alright then, Y/N,” Robin turned to you. “What’s your deepest, darkest secret?” 

You started giggling again. 

“What’s so funny?” Steve asked. 

“I dohon’t know,” you giggled. 

“I think the drugs are working,” Steve said, stifling back a laugh.

“That won’t get you out of this. What’s your secret?” Robin asked again. 

“I have no secrets, I’m an open book,” you sang, sounding drunk. 

“Everyone has secrets, Y/N. If you don’t tell us then I’m sure the Russians will get it out of you,” Steve said, making you giggle again. 

“Alright, alright, but it’s very very secretive…” 

“A secretive secret?” Robin laughed.

“So you know like tickle fights right? Well what most people do is scream and cry but I laugh a lot.” 

“So your secret is that you’re ticklish?” Steve’s lip curled up slightly.

“No no…I mean yes, but no. They scream, I laugh. Right?” 

“Y/N, what are you saying?” Robin asked.

“I laugh!”

“Most people do!” Robin argued back, setting Steve off in a fit of giggles. 

“But I like it!” 

“You like laughing?” 

“Yes! And that’s why!” 

“Wait wait, did you just say you like being tickled?” Steve asked, tilting his head at you. 

“Duh!” You said, sarcastically. 

“Well….that’s good to know…” Steve exchanged a look with Robin as you quietly giggled again. 

“Do you think they’ll remember saying that when we get out?” Robin asked.

“Definitely not. But we will….” Steve replied, smirking. 

Roughly 5 minutes later, you started hearing murmurs from outside the room. 

“Shit. It’s the Russians.” Steve said in a panicked tone. 

“Shh, I can’t hear what they’re saying,” Robin responded. You all fell quiet as the voices started to get clearer. 

“Wait…” You said, as you realised the voices weren’t Russian, but American. 

With a sudden bang, the door flew open, revealing Dustin and Erica, armed with weapons. You all lit up with glee as the two of them got to work on freeing you. 

Once you were all untied, you bolted for the lift where you, Steve and Robin stumbled about, still high on the drugs. Dustin and Erica shared an annoyed look. The lift doors opened and you were finally back inside Starcourt Mall where you headed straight for the toilets to let the drugs leave your body. Dustin and Erica waited outside whilst you, Robin and Steve finished regurgitating. The three of you then collapsed on the toilet floor, the effects of the drugs finally wearing off. 

“I’ve never felt so alive,” Robin said. You and Steve chuckled but agreed. Steve then slowly looked at you. 

“So, Y/N. How are you feeling?” 

“An awful lot better.” 

“Even after your little secret?” 

You froze.

“...what secret?”

“The secret you told us when we were tied in the basement. You know, I told Robin I had a crush on her then she told us she likes girl and then you had your turn.” 

Your eyes widened. 

“W-what did I say?” 

“Oh nothing major. Just that you enjoy laughing.” 

“Oh. Um…” You looked confused. 

“Yeah, you said you really like laughing…because of being tickled,” Robin teased. Your face dropped, heart now pounding. 

“Wait, no, I-”

“It’s fine, Y/N, you enjoy being tickled. That’s not a bad thing,” Steve shrugged. You relaxed a little before he continued, “...just means we have more of a reason to tickle you.” 

Steve and Robin both lunged towards you, pushing you down to the ground. You yelped as Steve sat on your waist whilst Robin pulled your hands above your head and sat on them. They both grinned at you before Robin stuck her wiggling fingers in your armpits and Steve attacked your tummy. You screamed out and started kicking your legs. Dustin and Erica ran in to see what the problem was, only to start laughing when they realised what was happening. 

“My oh my you are so ticklish!” Steve teased, vibrating his fingers into your ribs which sent your laughter up an octave. It didn’t help that Robin’s quick fingers spidered up and down your arms and deep into your armpits. 

“Are you enjoying this, Y/N?” Steve asked. You shook your head.

“No?!” He and Robin bellowed. “How about now?” He asked, lifting up your top to blow a raspberry on your belly and rapidly squeezed your sides. You screeched as your body tried to shake from side to side but it was no use. 

Robin was now making her way round your neck and ears whilst Steve ran his fingers up to your ribs and down your sides, occasionally blowing a raspberry on your tummy and tasering your hips. 

“Are you enjoying it now, Y/N?” Robin asked, smirking at you. On one hand, you couldn’t take any more. But, on the other hand, you were loving every second. 

“YEHEHES!” You screamed without realising. 

“Ohh is that so?? Little Y/N is loving the tickling?” Steve teased, kneading his thumbs into your hips. 

“Coochie, coochie coo,” Robin teased, moving her hands down to your ribs which made you buck. 

Your laughter turned silent as the baby talk made the tickling so much worse. Steve and Robin exchanged a smile before stopping their attack. You lay on the ground, still pinned by the two of them, but catching your breath nevertheless. 

“You are absolutely adorable, Y/N,” Robin gave your armpit one more quick tickle to make you squeak. 

“I think it’s time we left. If the Russians made it up here then they most definitely heard you screaming,” Steve laughed, getting off of you and helping you up. “Besides, we can wreck you soo much more when we get home,” Steve put his arm around you and tickled your tummy. You yelped and twisted your body away from his hand which made him just pull you closer and squeeze your sides. 

“Come on Steve, let’s go. You can tickle them more later,” Dustin said, still grinning. 

You were actually quite glad those two were aware now. Cause it meant you were going to be tickled at least every day from now on���.

[findafight]

I don’t know enough about basketball, so I’m gonna “Yes and!”

Sue also played basketball in college (Lucas takes after her!) - Charles was her loudest supporter. Steve finds it all very romantic, even more so when asking Charles why he doesn’t join them at the games; “What would be the point? I’m married to the best”.

Okay, so; the whole fam (and Steve) go to an all day equestrian event (or maybe a fair that has like a day of horse events? Don’t know how this works in the US in the 1980s). There’s show-jumping, dressage, the works. They all enjoy the show jumping (although Sue is throwing Significant Looks whenever any of the horses stumble, or knock down one of the hurdles). Erica is the only one who enjoys the dressage; Lucas finds it boring and Charles…respects the skill(?), but the heated conversation the two men sitting front of them are having about the “blood rule” is making him a little uneasy. Meanwhile, Steve briefly drops into a fugue state upon realising that he recognises one of the rider’s coaches as That Bastard who was briefly engaged his aunt (one of the ones that he *likes*) and was two-timing her the entire time and spends the rest of the event relaying the story to Sue.

It is every bit as juicy and scandalous as she hoped, although she is a little perturbed that all the details that Steve has isn’t stuff that he was filled on when he was older, but stuff he knew as it was happening when he was like seven or eight (“my family doesn’t believe in talking down to children”).

Later when they’re going to get dinner Lucas is complaining that the dressage was boring (Sue is giving Charles the Cliff Notes, promising to fill in the details later), Steve remarks that maybe the3y should see a polo game some time. This gets him roundly mocked by the whole family, Lucas informing him that “That is the richest thing I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth”.

Erica initially joins in, but has to have clarification on what it actually is (she was thinking of Lacrosse). Upon hearing that there is a sport in which she could ride a horse while wielding a mallet, Erica Knows what she wants to do with her life (or at least her next D&D character). She is *gutted* to hear that it in fact is not a contact sport.

(Last time, I promise. X)

College basketball legend Sue Sinclair!!! wait wait i got something

I like the hc that people around town knew who Steve was (like the party in s1 who have no reason to know who he is) is that he was a little sports star in his early high school career. Let's give that to Sue too! Hers was in college but it locked her in as a legend for her tenure at the school. Sporty little guys!! Sue being so excited to play with Lucas and sometimes Steve and chatting to Steve about how their teams are doing or what position Lucas would be best suited for!! Charles is watching and going 🥰

Steve just. Dishing Harrington family gossip to Sue is so good. He probably knows half of it because his family "doesn't believe in talking down to children" as you said but also the other half is because either his mom talked all about it over the phone and had forgotten little twelve year old Steve was sitting in the same room OR he hid and eavesdropped. And a few years later his Aunt got drunk and gave him more deets.

(Sue is eating UP the weird rich people gossip. keeps her mind off the fact there are large animals that are capable of severely hurting the people around them easily. She cannot wait to tell Charlie!)

Suggesting polo is such a rich person thing and Steve would make the logical leap of horse sports and more exciting than watching horses move slowly around. Polo becoming a silly little inside joke suggestion between Lucas and Steve and Erica. like "Hmm why don't we try...polo?" >:3

"Yuck it up sinclair..." they are so funny.

Erica thinking for a moment Polo is a sport on horses in which you use mallets to both hit a ball and beat up the other players....... incorporating that into another dnd character...... she's so powerful. no one should ever let her ride a horse anywhere near anything resembling a hammer or mallet.

[daddy-suguru]

𝕙𝕠𝕨 𝕕𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕗𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕚𝕟 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖/𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕟 𝕒 𝕓𝕦𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕥 𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝕙𝕚𝕥 𝕪𝕒

𝕘𝕖𝕟𝕣𝕖…eventually nsfw, hurt/comfort,

𝕤𝕪𝕟𝕠𝕡𝕤𝕚𝕤...Sanemi has been trying to get closer to you ever since your boyfriend broke up with you. Which all comes to a head one night when the two are of are hooking up and Sanemi finds out that you're ex was less than kind.

𝕔/𝕨…mentions of past *ape and trauma, reader has an abusive!ex, dealer!samenmi, sex for drugs offer, reader opening up to Sanemi, sexual tension between sanemi and reader, sanemi getting possessive/protective fast, fearing change, pussy inspection, light anal fingering, daddy/babygirl and princess, oral - 69 with Sanemi on top, size kink, praise, sanemi beating someone up

𝕨/𝕔…12.3k Somehow a bit of hurt/comfort mini plot found its way in what was supposed to be smut only.

tagging: @otivez @werewolfsupersoldier

"You could pay me the 100 or you could get on your knees and suck me off to save yourself some cash." Your frozen in the deer lights expression is cute, as you look up at him with wide eyes and your lips part while your words wait on the tip of your tongue jumbled up.

Sanemi smirks at you as you close your mouth and swallow the note forming in it. As he goes onto say, "What, you think I don't catch you glancing at my cock? Does the way my cock look in my sweatpants make your mouth water?" He looks feral sitting on the sofa with a wide smirk, and hunger in his eyes as he sluts you out in his brain.

You meekly get out, "Yes, sir." The way your voice wavers and the nervousness you have whenever buying from him always made him want to fuck you dumb. You couldn't be nervous around him if you were to cock drunk to think about anything else but taking him.

Pointing down between his legs, you set your phone in your hand on the coffee table and then kneel right away, and he groans at the sight. You listen to well, so he praises you, "You are so fucking hot, are you, Princess?" He doesn't wait for you to answer as he adds on. "But if you're going to call me anything, call me Daddy, Princess."

"Daddy?" You sound so unsure of yourself, as if you could say it wrong. Looking away as you tell Sanemi, "I would suck you off, but what if you get mad at me since I don't know how? I've never done it."

His eyes brighten up with delight as he says, "You're a virgin? I'm going to fuck you up and teach that sweet little pussy to get off on whatever pain or pleasure I give you. First, we can start off with me teaching you how to suck me off. I got all night and nowhere to be but inside you." While he slips his hard cock out, which quickly draws your attention.

Telling you to, "Open your mouth." He sticks two large fingers in your mouth, and you wrap your lips around him. “Swirl your tongue and suck, and swirl your cute little tongue around my fingers. If I feel any teeth, then I'm going to pinch your nose."

Softly suckling while looking up into Sanemi's red eyes for any signs you're doing alright. And Sanemi can tell you are craving some praise. And by the way, your thighs quiver for a moment, you're an open book for him, so easy to read.

Sanemi tells you, "Suck harder than that." As he grabs his knife that was lying on the side table next to him. He leans forward, stuffing both of his fingers deeper down your throat to hear you gag. As he slips his knife under the thin strap of your tank top.

Sanemi asks you, "Do you have anyone waiting for you?" Pulling his fingers out of your mouth. He wants to keep you with him, then he could drive you home in the morning after making sure you are taking you with him for breakfast. Since you are so damn adorable, why not have you along for his morning coffee?

You respond with, "Kind of, Daddy, my roommate, Erica may or may not stay out on her sate tonight. We went half on this, but she can still get her fifty's worth and I'll get mine."

Sanemi moves his hand away, two of his fingers still with your spit. His grin is more feral than welcoming as he says, "Getting you to whore your virginity to me and you're going to give me some money afterwards. Then I'll be nice, kind of, depends how you look at it. You want to stay with me tonight?" You glance over at the knife that he slowly drags down your arm, ever so lightly gibing you a chill. So Sanemi adds, "I'm not gonna hurt you 'less you ask me to."

Looking up at him with wide eyes, asking him, "Why would I ask that?"

He looks so happy you ask, as he tells you, "Sometimes it feels good to have someone wrap their hand around your throat. It heightens your other senses." He puts the knife aside before he got too excited. You weren't anywhere there yet and he to let you get used to the idea of pain and pleasure being interchangeable. "And it turns me on to wrap my hand around your throat, but only if you begging for it beforehand." He loosely wraps his hand around your throat.

You look torn with yourself, the conflict about why you would want someone to inflict pain on you on purpose. And how you would enjoy it.

Sanemi tries to give you a little push. "You would be surprise the things a person will do to please a person. Do you want that, don't you? To be told you're a good girl for me. But things like that require trust, I get that. Which is why there are other things." He could vanilla for you, but maybe you could be interested in trying things his way.

You ask, "What other things are there to do, Daddy?" The way the word slips off your tongue makes his cock twitch. You sound so sweet calling him that while kneeling in front of him, looking up at him with wide eyes.

"I could put you over my lap and spank your cute cheeks. And in between every few slaps, I'll tease your cute pussy by fingering it. If you do well and take all your spankings, I'll reward you by making you squirt."

"Squirt?"

Sanemi pats his thigh, and tells you, "Sit." You don't straddle his one thigh like he hopes, but you straddle his waist, looking at him expectantly.

"You've cummed at the very least when you play with yourself?"

"Erica has told me about it, but I just end up edging myself. At least that's what she said I was doing."

"That's cute that you need someone to help you cum. I could show you how to play with yourself, but for now. Squirting is like cumming but messier, and I want to make a mess out of you. You've been buying from me about a year now and it seems you've gotten more comfortable with me. My favorite customer buying every two weeks from me doesn't give me enough time to see you. I've wanted to since I've laid eyes on you with your worthless ex. I'm so fucking glad you didn't fuck him."

The words are hard to make out and you don't know why you're over sharing with your dealer whose lap your straddling. Saying the words feels like pulling a tooth, "It wasn't my choice so, I'm still a virgin."

Sanemi gently cups your face and there is a softness to his voice you didn't expect. "You're right baby-girl. Giving yourself over, letting them explore your body, and submitting to someone is a choice. And if he didn't give you that choice - tell me he is in jail." You shake your head no as you look off to the side.

Your voice is shaking as you tell Sanemi, "He said no one would believe me and I told no one but a close friend and my mom what happened."

Sanemi picks up his phone. He is texting as he says, "And they didn't tell you to go to the police." He is careful not to let you see the screen. As he glares at his phone, impatiently waiting for a reply.

Sanemi has a sinking feeling which only gets worse as you say, "I shouldn't get upset just because I regretted it. He seems like such a nice guy." The words made Sanemi's stomach churn. But the text that he gets from one of his men almost makes him smile.

Slamming his phone down and making you jump as he snaps, "That so-called friend of yours is a fucking cunt! Which one is it? Erica?" Your silence tells Sanemi what he expected. And the moment he sees you caving in on yourself, he regrets yelling. Who knows what type of trauma you had from fuck face and Sanemi wasn't helping. But he could. With some people, he helped them by cutting them off from the harder drugs he sold. But with you, maybe he could help in other ways. Or maybe he was just being selfish, wanting to insert himself into your life.

Telling you, "I'm not selling to them and I don't care if she's a woman. If she shows her face around here, I'm knocking her nose into her face with my fist. Don't worry about telling her that. I'll let her know."

You whine protesting, "Don't! She is going to be a bitch to me, and I still have to live with her." Sanemi is happy you're comfortable enough with him to show your disagreement, but he decides quickly it's a dumb one.

Trying not to snap and grumbling to you, "I don't care. I'll move you in with me, then." The words are out of his mouth before he really thinks about what he just offered.

Whining to him, with a cute pout on your lips, "Sanemi, stop messing with me." He wants to lean in and kiss you to make you be quiet. And to get you to believe him, but Sanemi just shrugs as he grabs the blunt that you're offering. With an enormous grin, he tells you, "I wouldn't mind having a cute baby girl like yourself around here. I'm not asking you to pay. You can save up for a place on your own here, away from that toxic bitch."

You shake your head no, "I can't." The idea of uprooting your life and moving in with Sanemi is too intimidating for you to say anything else.

Sanemi shrugs and tells you, "The offer stands for whenever you want it, not just tonight. But based on principal, I can't sell to your roommate. And we can just smoke and relax for a while." He grabs a pre-rolled blunt coated in kief from the tray on his side table. As he adds, "I'll take you home when you're ready since your cunt of a friend apparently just dropped you off and left, I'm guessing. Unless you walked here." Sparking the pre-roll as he puffs on it, blowing towards slowly.

You mumble, "She had a date to get to. So she gave me a quick lift to get more bud. Then I was going to walk home. It's a nice, warm night out." He turns the pre-roll around, so you take it and bring it to your lips, happy to smoke if he wanted to share.

Sanemi says, "It's late and walking alone in this city isn't a good idea. She and you should both know that. But I'm not surprised, since she has a pea for a brain." He flicks your forehead as you wrinkle your nose and flicks his nose. Sanemi smirks, "That was so soft. Also, no fucking wonder I fucking hated your bitch of a roommate from the beginning." You blow all your smoke in his direction as he had done you.

Sanemi had always seemed uninterested in returning any of her flirty texts, or offers to pay another way. Your friend was direct, and Sanemi always bluntly ignored her. With that in mind you say, "I thought it was weird most men end up going for her when she flirts with them, but you don't seem to give a fuck. She always got mad like it was my problem." Taking a long drag, Sanemi wants to shotgun the smoke to you. But doesn't want to make it seem like sex is all he wants from you. Which he does, but now he was only aiming for getting you to smile before he took you home.

Sanemi says, "It must have been because she noticed the way I look at you. I've wanted to get with you from the start from but you were with an asshole. And after he broke up with you, I just wanted to make sure you didn't abuse drugs to cope with losing some trash. I told myself I would not ask this of you tonight, but you look so damn hot." His eyes drift down to your thighs, which are squeezing both of his. His cock and balls were getting uncomfortable, but he didn't want to make you get off. After his second puff, he hands it to you.

You squeak out, "The way you look at me?" Looking down at yourself, your gaze catching on his And I'm only wearing socks, shorts and a tank top. I thought I look kind of tacky." Sanemi moves the butt of the blunt to your lips after you look up, and he is watching your glossy lips. You take a puff.

Sanemi says, "I don't think I can explain, but I can show you. But now might not be the right time for that. And that's ok, I can wait as long as you want me to. And if nothing happens ever, I can move on. Also, that outfit is my favorite one on you yet." He wants to get graphic and tell you the way your thighs spill out the top of your socks pulled the words out of him. You take your second puff, your eyelids getting heavy as you're getting high on his lap.

You move your hand from your thighs to his hard stomach. Which tenses up underneath your touch as you softly ask him, "What about my outfit do you like?" Your heart is pounding as you compliment him while looking away. "I can say I think how you're only wearing sweatpants." Your body is burning from embarrassment.

Sanemi grabs your chin. "Look at me and say that. Then I'll answer you." You don't realize the effect you have on him and frankly, he wonders if he helped you understand would you be too dangerous. "But first take your hits, baby girl." The way he calls you that gives you butterflies.

Taking two hits as he holds your chin, holding the blunt to your lips. After which you tell him, "I enjoy seeing you in nothing but sweatpants. My favorite time was that one time you answered the door in your boxers. I regretted staring, but now I'm glad I did."

Sanemi grins. "It took everything in me not to kiss you. I should have, since it seems my fist is going to end up in his face, regardless." He looks handsome, from the way his lips wrap around the blunt, to how the smoke passes his lip. To the scars across his face that you want to. And then there is his messy white hair that you want to run your fingers through. How could a man be this handsome?

The title till feels awkward passing your lips, "Daddy," but as you watch, his eyes get hazier as he bites into his bottom lip. You lean in and softly ask, "You could kiss me now?" As dark as the conversation had gotten, and with as much as you ended up sharing with him. There wasn't any panic that you've spilt your darkest secret to someone other than your mom and best friend. But for the first time since your ex attacked you, you relaxed a little.

The roughness yet tender nature of Sanemi comforting.

He is about to lean in and kiss you, but Sanemi's need to make your first time perfect for you is consuming him. As he said, "I could, but i want to get the mood right for both of us. Get you relaxed for me." Your phone dings from the coffee table behind you.

Slipping off his lap and grabbing your phone is a text from your friend;

'Date suxked, so I left. Bud @ house?'

You turn around and tell Sanemi, taking the blunt he is offering you as you tell him, "She is asking for her bud." You sit down next to him as he wraps an arm around you as he picks up his phone off the side table.

Sanemi tells you, as he texts with one hand, "I'll let her know first that your staying with me, second that I'm not selling to her And if she is being a cunt, then maybe you shouldn't be living with her. I have an extra room."

You bring up, "I have two cats." Thinking that Sanemi would give up with just that.

Holding the blunt out up to Sanemi's lips, he takes a puff and slowly blows out the smoke before he tells you, "I love cats. And will buy them two different large cat towers for the living room and balcony. I will spoil them more than you will. And you will look at me in betrayal as both of your cats cuddle me instead of you. But you could then join in on cuddling." Then he takes his second puff. As his phone buzzes and he moves his arm from around you. So he can take a picture of himself flipping the screen off.

You inwardly cringe, knowing Erica is going to have it out for you when you get home. So you just focus on your cats, as you entertain the idea of living with Sanemi lightly, "Aggressively positive. Both of them are kittens, little gray fuzzy balls. I haven't named them yet. I want them to show more of their personality before I do." You take both of your puffs before handing it to Sanemi, who sets his phone down and then looks at you.

Sanemi, with a grin, tells you, "See, I could be a wonderful roommate, spoil your cats, name our cats." You chuckle at how quickly Sanemi started claiming ownership of the kittens that aren't even at his place yet.

You smile as up at Sanemi, as he takes the long last puff before putting the blunt out. As you accuse him playfully. "Sounds like you might steal my cats. Plus, it wouldn't feel right if I'm not paying anything. I can't afford this place or it's pet fees." Your phone dings and you set it far away from your face down, wanting to avoid the wrath of your friend until tomorrow morning.

Sanemi rolls his eyes before he tells you, "Which is why I said I can keep paying for my place. I could also make a call and see if I can have you put on the lease next to me if that makes you feel better. Then I could pay the pet fee for our little fur babies. I could have it settled within two days easily."

You wrinkle up your nose as you tell him, "You deal here. I wouldn't feel comfortable with so many people coming in and out. Also, she takes me to work in the morning occasionally when we work together. I hate the subway."

Sanemi is quick to rid you of another concern, by explaining, "I could stop, get one of my guys to deal sell at other locations. And no one would ever come here again unless they want to get shot." Your eyes flick to the gun on the coffee table and you wonder how many he has in this apartment. "I could take you to work no matter the shift. I'll be there on time to pick you up, too. Also, I have an excellent security system here. I would say there is a camera in all rooms but the bathrooms. You could cover up your camera and I frankly don't care if you see me butt ass naked jerking off in my room."

The thought of Sanemi laying naked on his sheets, has your voice shaky as you say, "Sounds like you might want me to watch." Deciding to trust yourself and softly asking, as you look away from Sanemi, "And what if I leave my camera uncovered? Would you jerk off in your bedroom while watching me change like a pervert?"

Sanemi trying to keep his cock from getting hard as he thinks about being able to see you naked on from his phone whenever he's at. Just knowing he had you to come home to from his business trips when he is making sure his products get moved and shipped out properly. "Only if you want me to. I'll be a dirty pervert for you and steal your panties to jerk off with, too."

Unable to respond to that, the idea of him using your panties making your brain short circuit. You slowly say, "I'll think then, moving in with you." Then you add on one last concern, "It sounds like I would just cause more trouble for you than anything else."

Sanemi grumpily asks, "Baby girl, how is me saying I want to look after you? Sounds like it's going to be a struggle." A bit annoyed at you for thinking you would be a bother. Why else would he want you in his house, so Sanemi explains, "I want to see your cute self every day living around our place. Plus, it would be until you save up some money for your own place. I just want you to live somewhere you're happy." But Sanemi wouldn't mind you taking your time for that.

'Why do you care so much?' The question is on the tip of your tongue. But you can't bring yourself to ask Sanemi about it. But the idea of living here as his friend, and occasionally fucking him, making it so tempting to say yes.

"Daddy, you're sweet." You lean in and softly kiss his cheek.

Sanemi's cheeks turn pink as he says, "For you, baby girl, I can be. Come on, let's snuggle in the room. In an hour, I'll be having someone come over. So I'll need you to stay in here there while I take care of business. I know it's going to make your nervous so I'll keep it short-lived." He then adds on, "I have some candles in there. You can open up the balcony door get some fresh air in since you said it was a warm night out tonight." He is trying to make his room sound more appealing, as if you didn't already want to be in his room from the moment you saw him.

"I'll follow you then."

Sanemi stands up and suggests, "How about I carry you?" You hold up your hands, making cute grabby hands towards him, but Sanemi waits until you say.

"Please." So that he can slip his hands underneath your butt as you wrap your arms around his neck and lean into him. Sanemi picks you up and you wrap your legs around his waist.

Sanemi tells you, "Also, since I never answered you, I love how tightly your tank top hugs your chest. I love how your wearing no bra. And I love how your thighs look, but I would love them even more covered in my bite marks. I kind of want to know want you look like in one of my hoodies.'" As he carries you into his bedroom and softly setting you on his bed.

Quickly you decide, "I'll only accept your hoodie if it smells like you."

"Then you can take one of my hoodies and spray it. You can take it home with you tomorrow." He goes around, lighting the candles in his room, and then he opens up the balcony door. A gentle warm breeze comes into his bedroom, as Sanemi pauses in the doorway, letting the wind ruffle his hair a little.

Sanemi's room is cleaner than you expected it to be, with thick fluffy pillows and a blanket to match. The theme of it seemed to be black and there was a small but nice tv sitting on a small table at the foot of the bed where the glass wall to the balcony is. Which gives a wonderful view over the top of the building next to his.

"Sun rises are so beautiful in the morning. It's the reason I picked the place. That being said, the windows darken to keep out the sun instead of having curtains." You turn on the lamps on either side of the bed. Then moving to the foot of the bed to stare at the outline of him.

His hard back has many thick large scars, and you want to ask want happened but don't want to drag up any painful memories. You want to walk up to him and run your hands along his body.

Sanemi turns around and seeing you in his bed is surreal, and part of him can't believe it's real. He wishes you would stop looking at him like that, but he doesn't want you to stop.

You still want him, but he doesn't want you to feel rushed even though all he wants to do is rip your shorts off, push your top up and put his head between your thighs. Forget teaching you anything. He just wanted to spoil you.

You ask Sanemi, "Daddy, I move in. Will you watch a sunrise with me?" He saunters closer. The v of leading into his sweatpants, where Sanemi has a tent forming, is all you can stare at. So he stops in front of you, and grabs your chin, placing his hand on top of your head and patting you. Since he didn't want to rub your hair and mess it up just yet.

Sanemi tells you with a soft grin, "We can watch horror movies, get delivery and eat junk food till sunrise, then fall asleep together." The excitement that overcomes you, he quickly adds, "We could do that tonight. There is a trio of horror movies I've heard was alright, it has a bit of gore. But if you get scared, you can just snuggle into me."

You press a soft kiss to the skin above the band of his sweatpants and his voice wavers as Sanemi says, "After these people come by, no one else will be. So it will just be the two of us. I want you to get cozy and look cute while I set the movie up. I can roll some more blunts or back the bong if you prefer that. Then I'll light up the candles and then I'll get in bed next to you." You don't know what overcomes you as you bite down on his stomach, which tenses up, flexing as he groans.

Sanemi groans, "Shit, you're a biter, then you can't complain when I bite you." You pull his sweatpants down only for Sanemi to stop him. "There is no rush, my cock isn't going anywhere, you can wait till you suck me off. I want to teach you how to kiss, want to show you what it's like to cum. You can be my cute pillow princess for your first time, and the next time I'll teach you." Sanemi can't bring himself to stop you from keeping on him. As you run your hands up his sides and pepper a scar that stretches across his navel with kisses.

The weed and Sanemi had you feeling comfortable enough to voice your horny thoughts. "But what if I really want to suck you off and feel your balls on my face? Also, I missed your fingers in my mouth. I want to make you feel good, too."

Sanemi's cock is fully hard and from so close you can make out the mushroom shape of his head. His thick, matching his bulky build. And the thought of his cock is making your mouth water.

Sanemi wants to feel your pretty lips wrap around him, but for your first time Sanemi wants to spoil and ruin you. So Sanemi tells you, "You'll make me feel good by being a good girl and cumming for me. Because I don't plan on only making you cum once, but many times. I want to see how many you can handle and then from there we can work on your endurance."

Pouting as you stare up at Sanemi, who is cradling your cheek. You whine, "You keep saying you want to do these things with me, but you won't already."

Sanemi shrugs, "Because there is no need to rush." Normally he was impulsive acting on little thought and creating messes he would just clean up. But with you, he couldn't afford to fuck this night, not when it's supposed to be all about pampering you. He adds, "I want your company a little longer before I put your body to the test with mine. And I want to make sure you really want me for your first time and that you won't regret it." He sits next to you on the edge of the bed.

You admit easily, "I've been wanting you for a while, Sanemi." You bite into your bottom lip, debating with yourself on if you should tell him. Sanemi wants for you to decide as he notices the uncertainty in your face. He doesn't want to speak unless he might not hear the rest of your thoughts. Which finally spills out past your lips, "I wondered if there was something wrong with me because after my ex I couldn't get excited anymore unless I thought of you. Isn't that kind of desperate?"

Sanemi's voice gets rougher and thicker with as he says, "The only thing that's wrong with you now is the trauma that fuck head gave you. Not saying you're damaged or anything, just said he put you through something fucked up and it clearly left some mental scars." He softens as he continues to say, "Which I could help you get some therapy if you aren't already getting some? It could help you cope better. Which I think you are already doing pretty great, getting some kittens and trying to move on with your life."

"I think you're offering too much, and this is too good to be true. Also sorry for more trauma dumping but living in the same place makes it hard to move on. At least he got bored with me and left after he decided. It makes me feel pathetic that he had to leave me, but I was only scared to leave him since I felt like he wouldn't let me if I tried."

"You went into survival and did the best you could. You weren't expecting him to move in with you and be a piece of shit. And if you're living in the same place, I don't think you're going to get too much better."

You say nothing. So Sanemi asks, "Can I hold you?" You nod your head and whisper,

"Please." As you sit hunching over, with your head hanging. Sanemi notices you're crying. So he pulls you onto his lap and wraps both of his arms around you, squeezing you as tightly as he can.

"Thank you for believing me." To hear him valid how fucked up what happened was. And seeing Sanemi getting angry on your behalf is feeling a hole that's been aching inside you.

Making Sanemi's arms and the way his body feels pressing against yours is the most comforting place to be. This is why you don't want to live with him, because you would want to be more than friends.

Sanemi tightens his grip around you as he feels your tears hit his skin and he says, "It's sad that you're saying that. I'll keep you safe too if you let me. I understand trusting me might be hard to do."

You correct him, "it's not that I don't trust you. After tonight, I think I trust you more than I should. It's just....I don't want to say." You can't tell this man you want to date him, or at least not share him with anyone else. He might not settle down and with how sweet he is being, it would be hard not to get jealous when he finds someone else he wants in his bed.

Sanemi is quick to reassure you by saying, "You don't have to." As he softly rubs and squeezes your sides. "It's chill, baby girl. Let me go get you some warm milk and some Oreos."

Just for tonight, you can indulge yourself. You could forget that the rest of the world exists and focus on him. You tell him, "I rather you lay on top of me. I want to feel your weight on mine. You're comforting and this is a bit much to tell someone, but being near you is the only thing keeping me calm right now."

"Go get comfortable." You go lay back on the bed after Sanemi lets you go. You stand up and move to the side of his bed, pealing his covers back and slipping underneath them.

He remembered you telling him about nightmares, and with him being a light sleeper, hopefully he could wake you up. And then calm you back down into a more peaceful sleep.

Sanemi waits for you to finish arranging the pillows and moving. You look adorable squirming in his bed, getting cozy. And when you look up at him, he asks you, "Do you mind if I rest my head on your chest?"

"Only if I can play with your hair." The idea of your fingers running through your hair and just holding you close. The sweetness of intimacy he doesn't normally do unless for aftercare.

Settling down on top of you, with his face resting on your chest, your fingers are running through his hair. As he feels himself truly relax for the first time in a while. Sanemi hadn't let himself get attached to anyone since his wife died.

If you moved in, Sanemi might be in danger of letting himself get attached. Already he doesn't want to take you back to yours but keep you here protected from the sources of trauma and lacking support system. And it wasn't until this moment with your finger nails lightly scratching at his scalp, making Sanemi fight inner demons to keep his cock from getting hard from the way the tingle runs down his spine.

Sanemi could hear how fast your heart was pounding from his closeness. Then there is the sweetness of your lotion mixing with your perfume. And then is hits Sanemi so clearly why he feels like he has to help you. The answer had been there from the beginning, and the words were out of Sanemi's mouth in a rush. He mumbles, "I could see myself falling in love with you." And you are sure you didn't hear him correctly. So you keep quiet.

Minutes go by and you are thinking about the possibility that you heard him correctly. That every conversation when you bought from him, with you over the past five months, has been Sanemi's way of trying to build a friendship with you. And that he genuinely wanted you to give you your own space to feel safe.

Sanemi would be only a hallway away whenever you needed him. Instead of a twenty-minute traffic filled drive.

Sanemi lifts himself up on his arms, his messy white hair falling forward as he whispers, "I was going to fall asleep if I stayed like that. Give me a second." He didn't want to speak too loudly, not wanting to ruin the soft way you looking at him.

Slipping your fingers back into his hair and raising yourself to kiss him. The way he groans against your lips as you whimpering in response. As he places his hand on your hip and slides his hand down to your bare thigh, which he squeezes softly. Before resting his hand there.

The sweetness of repeated soft kisses, with your whimpers mixing in with his moans making his cock twitch. And he forgets about cuddling as he breaks away from your lips and asks you, "Can I kiss your neck?"

"Please." After you give permission, Sanemi's, slips his hand out from under your head and grabs your chin and tilts your head to the side as he leans down. Giving you a second to change your mind, you encourage Sanemi by telling him, "'Emi I want you."

"Sweet baby girl, I know you do. I want to cover you with kisses." He moves his head up to cup his cheek and you take his thumb that's resting on your lips into your mouth. Wrapping your lips around him and swirling your tongue. As he groans into your neck with every kiss.

You are a tease, he could already tell. And he could picture it in his head. You living here stealing his shirts and wearing thigh high socks with your panties on, teasing him with the outline of your pussy by bending over in front of him. Or would you just straight up lift the baggy shirt of his that you stole to give him a glimpse?

Sanemi so desperately wanted you to see you happy, playful and to have you tease him. You could give him all the blue balls you wanted as long as he got to see you.

Sanemi won't slip his hands under your tank top, no matter how much you desperately wish he could. Nor does he move past your collar bone. His teeth graze your skin and you encourage Sanemi.

"I want you to bite me." A few more kisses and he does on the spot he notices you find most sensitive, making you squirm underneath him. As you shift your thighs, trying to get some relief.

Sanemi presses more of his weight on your body to keep pin down your squirming. And you end up grinding against, so he pulls away and tells you, "Your wiggling is rubbing my cock." You move your head, freeing your mouth of his thumb so you can ask him,

"How does it feel Daddy?" The title pulling his brain into dom-space, reminding him you know nothing of the sexual world he so desperately pull you into. He wanted to give you various cute collars so you would have one to match any outfit.

Sanemi grins as he moves his hand from your check and he pushes himself off enough to see your face clearly. "I should be the one asking you the questions, baby girl. But I'll answer. It feels so good. I keep thinking about your mouth around me, sucking me like you did my thumb."

Leaning down and trailing kisses along your jaw, back down to your neck. Where he bites down softly, letting his deep sink in deeper until you whine sharply. And involuntary jerk away from him, yet you're pinned still from his body pressing against yours, his teeth in your neck and his large hands gripping your side.

Sanemi pulls away, he warns you, "Careful calling me Daddy now, baby girl. Hearing you call me that makes me want to do so many things to you."

"Daddy!" You follow up your moan with a question." "You want to hurt me in ways that feel good?" Which you don't let him answer as you whimper out. The biting feels good. It's weird feeling all hot and bothered enjoying the way it hurts when you bite into my neck." While he presses two kisses on your neck only to bite down again. This time groaning as he sucks, while you tug on his hair.

Sanemi pulls away once he is knows he has left a mark. He lowly says in your ear, "It's natural, baby girl." Sanemi moves his hand down to your legs and spreads them, grinding his clothed cock against your covered pussy. He groans, "You're feeling hot and bothered because you want me. There is nothing wrong with needing me to take care of you. We all have various needs when it comes it the bedroom, and it's all about finding someone who fulfills yours."

Taking on the role of a pleaser as you confess, "I want to make you happy and have you tell me I'm your good girl, Daddy. I can learn." You so freely give him possession of you with your words.

Sanemi encourages you relaxing into sub-space around him by saying, "You're already my good girl. And what I'm into is called bdsm. I want to be in charge of everything that happens in the bedroom, and during our time being intimate with each other, I enjoy being called Daddy by an adorable submissive. I don't mind a brat since I can always happily put you in your place. But not all the time. Sometimes I just want a sweet pillow princess who takes whatever I give them."

You ask Sanemi, "Pillow princess?" Curious to know more so you could better fulfill his fantasy that was quickly becoming one of yours. The idea of calling Sanemi Daddy, having him spoil you and take care of you, only for him to remind you why you happily submit to him sounding too appealing.

Sanemi happily answers, "It means you do nothing, you just lay there, baby girl. And let me take pamper you." He can't stop himself from asking, "Can you do that? Can you be daddy's good pillow princess and let me take care of you tonight?"

The way you all but moan out, "Yes Daddy!" So aroused by him, even though Sanemi isn't doing much more than holding you. You want curious to know what Sanemi wants to do with you, so you ask, "What are your favorite things to do to your submissive?"

Sanemi answers, after he slips his fingertips underneath your shirt only to pull them back out. He chuckles as you whine. Only he doesn't give you a chance to protest fully as he says, "I want to see them cry because they feel too good." Sanemi sits up fully, Seeing your eyes wet and full of tears because it's too much for you to handle, but you don't want me to stop, is so damn hot. And I want to put my hand around your pretty throat. I want to choke you until your sense of touch is elevated, making you cumming on my cock feel even more intense. But for you to be my submissive, I have a complete list of rules."

You ask Sanemi, "If I was your submissive, what rules would I have to follow?" You wanted to be his one and only submissive. To live with him, cooking, cleaning and looking cute for him.

The feeling of domestic bliss that you could see yourself with him is crazy. When he is a dealer, looking at the scars on his face and body, he doesn't have a tranquil life. Yet he has been so kind to you. Getting angry with you and asking every time he touched is making you crave his attention and approval.

Sanemi rolls to the side of you, keeping you tucked against his side as he arranges you next to him. After settling down he takes in your wide expression since he arranged both of you into a different cuddle position. Before he moves to kiss the tip of your nose and then he settles back down and says, "Showers every day, along with your hair and nails done, which I'll pay for. You work out with me, eat three times a day, letting me know what you ate so I know somewhat balanced meals. And when I'm stressed, you let me take it out on your pretty pussy. There is also my favorite rule is, no touching yourself. You ask me for help, and if you can't, you be a good girl and wait for me." You get move comfortable, putting your thigh over his, letting your head rest on his chest as you wrap your arm around him.

The conversation is keeping Sanemi's cock hard, as the possibility that of you agreeing to be his long-term sub. It wouldn't turn into a proper relationship, and so you won't get hurt.

The silence after he let slip that he could see himself falling in love let Sanemi know that while you aren't opposed to the idea, you don't seem to need a relationship right now. What you need more than anything is a support system that believes you and a space to feel safe in. And if you want to sleep with him too, then what's the harm in making you feel good?

You ask Sanemi, "Why do you want a submissive?" Your heart is hamming at the thought of reaching down and rubbing his cock. Even though you want to rub his cock some more to make him feel good and hear his pretty groans.

Sanemi's voice is a little strained when he says, "Because I want to look after you and wreck your pussy. This allows me to get rough with you within a certain boundaries we are both comfortable with. Since there are certain things I refuse to do to you. And as I show you more, you will find out things you don't like. Which you could also look up some things you want to try.

You softly ask him, "You being serious about this?"

Sanemi rolls his eyes, stating rather than asking, "Do I look like I'm joking? I want you living here with me as mine. You don't have to call me your boyfriend, and we don't have to always act within sub and dom roles."

You are quick to say, "I want to. I wouldn't mind it being an all day and night thing. Does that mean I'm always going to call you Daddy?" Sanemi squeezes you with his arm that he had wrapped around you.

Sanemi tells you, "In front of others, only if you're comfortable with it. When it's just the two of us I would prefer it. But I the only time when I expect you do so is during a scene to do so."

Asking Sanemi, "How will I know a scene has started?"

Sanemi shrugs and then answers, "When we get horny, you know when we make out and or we are teasing each other. My cock gets hard and your pussy gets wet. That means we are about to fuck if both of us are willing, and that means a scene has started."

You bite your bottom lip before you say, "So I'm supposed to call you Daddy. Since we were just kissing, you're hard and.." You trailed off.

Sanemi smirks and says, "Before we do anything, you'll have to finish that sentence."

You mumble, "My pussy is wet." But it isn't enough for Sanemi.

Sanemi licks his lips and then says, "I don't know if I believe you. You'll have to bend over so I can inspect your pussy to see if you're wet enough for me." You pull away from him and get out of bed as Sanemi gets up and turns on the overhead lights before he sits on the edge of the bed.

This time Sanemi says it a bit more forwards, commanding you to, "Take your shorts off, bend your cute ass over, so I can inspect my pussy." You are sliding your shorts down your legs and kicking them off and bending over before Sanemi finishes with his sentence.

Sanemi plans to wait a little longer and but then you ask in the sweetest voice, "Daddy how does my pussy look?" And Sanemi just has to let you know.

"So fucking beautiful, you're dripping wet, with the most kissable lips, " he leans forward and softly kisses your wet pussy lips. As you try to keep your hips still instead of pushing back against Sanemi's lips. Which is harder to do when he pulls away and you're whining.

"Daddy please touch my pussy some more." You didn't care how you sound, the desperation to feel his lips and hands on your body, making it hard to think of doing anything else but begging Sanemi.

Sanemi slips a finger past your hips and wiggles his fingers, rubbing your soft gummy walls. You are tight around one of his thick fingers, so Sanemi says, "Don't worry, baby girl, I'll be doing plenty of that. Right now, you're too tight to even take my cock, so I'll have to prep you. Never let someone rush past making you feel good and taking the time to stretch your cute puffy pussy out. Unless you want to feel the pain of my cock stretch out your too tiny pussy." Sanemi slips his finger out of your pussy and spreads your lips apart to watch your hole throb around nothing as you clench, missing his finger already.

You quickly agree to the idea, and say, "We could test that out." And as tempting at the idea is to make your cute virgin pussy bleed on his cock by standing up and slamming his cock deep inside you. He couldn't bring himself to do it, not when it's your first time and his first time with you.

Sanemi tells you, "One night we will, when you get some more experienced with me. Since baby girl, you haven't even seen how thick my cock is." Slipping his wet finger to your clit and rubbing it, your legs shake and you let out a sigh of relief. "Poor baby, you've been needing someone to take care your pretty pussy for you. Haven't you?"

"Yes Daddy, been needing you to take care of me." Sanemi is glad you can't see his face and the way he is blushing. As he leans down and buries his burning face into your pussy, pressing soft kisses around you.

His fingers run over your cute asshole to see your reaction. He asks you, "Do you want me to stop?"

You softly groan, "Keep going." As you clench underneath his touch. So Sanemi spits on your asshole and slips his thumb into your asshole as he grabs your cheek with your hand. Then he looks back down your at your dripping pussy. With his other hand, Sanemi slips two fingers past your lips.

He groans as squeezes your ass cheeks and wiggles his thumb as he spread both of his fingers apart slowly. Sanemi tells you, "You have the prettiest pussy I've ever seen." Before he leans forward and bites your other cheek as you jerk forward, only to push your hips back. As he put both of his fingers back together and feels for that sweet spot that will have you loudly moaning for him.

Sanemi bites down harder and you whine as he groans as his phone vibrates. With a phone call, he pulls away, slipping his fingers out of your pussy and his thumb out of your asshole. As he tells you, "Go lay on the bed, they're here. Don't come out of the room, watch some tv, want me to bring you something to smoke on?"

You grab the tv remote as you get settled under the blanket. The disappointment is obvious in your eyes as you say, "Please."

Sanemi offers you, "What about something to drink? I have bottled smoothies, some juice, water and sodas."

You take him up on his offer, "Surprise me with a smoothie? Just wash you hands first."

Sanemi rolls his eyes and scoffs, "Obviously," He moves towards the bedroom door, which he says, "I'll be right back then. We can pick up where we are leaving off if you want to." Before closing behind him, leaving you tucked out of sight from whoever is meeting up with him. And if Sanemi didn't want you to meet them, you were happy to stay put and wait for him to get back.

Your ex Josh is on his knees with a swollen, bruised cheek and messed up hair. They had tied his wrists to his bounded up ankles, and now both of Sanemi's men, stand on either side of him. As Josh loudly curses only to ask Sanemi at the sight of him walking into the living room.

Allen, who stands on the left of Josh, smiles at Sanemi and asks, "We interrupting something?"

Sanemi's cock is still hard, with you still fresh in his mind and the thought of you waiting for him. "A bit, but that's fine. I'm going to sleep better tonight after this. Afterward, I want you to drop him somewhere. I really don't care where."

Ali chips in, grabbing the rapist by his hair, keeping his face still for Sanemi. As he says, "If he doesn't, oh well. If he somehow tells the cops, we can just pay them off. But somehow I see this man getting into an accident after we leave from here. Maybe you'll make the news as a freak death. won't that be exciting?"

"What the fuck-" Sanemi stops sticks the thumb he had in your ass into Josh's mouth. And as he bites down. And Sanemi hits Josh on his already bruised cheek, making the man yell.

"Fucking shit you can't be too loud can't have you scaring Y/n she's the one waiting for me in the room." Allen and Ali were two guys that Sanemi trusted the past two years. Enough that if anything were to happen, both men would accompany you outside of the apartment if he had to go on an extended business trip.

Josh spits out blood onto the carpet. Making Sanemi internally groan, but since there was already a little blood. Sanemi figures he might as well make a mess and then get his place cleaned and then re-decorated.

Josh says with disgust, "Was that shit!? What the fuck?! You have that fucking whore waiting for you. I fucking knew she was fucking you the whole time. Enjoy my sloppy seconds." Allen takes it on himself to stomp on Josh's ankles. There is a large crack as Josh screams and tries to double over. Only for Ali to keep him upright by his hair.

Sanemi then goes to the kitchen, where he washes off his hands. He grabs you a smoothie, and then he heads back into the living room, where he grabs the tray and then takes that to you.

You ask Sanemi as he sets the drink and tray on the large side table closes to himself. "You have Josh in the living room, don't you?"

Sanemi confirms your thoughts as he points at you and says, "Yeah, you aren't stopping me from beating in the shit out of him." Sanemi is hoping that him beating your abuser to near death in the next room didn't make you scared of him. So he adds, "I'm not killing him, just leaving him almost dead, but I'll be honest. Allen and Ali don't like creeps like him, so I don't see him making it home safely." He didn't want you to be surprised if you caught went of Josh being dead, so it was better to let you know what Sanemi had arranged and what his men were going to do.

You express concern for Sanemi by saying, "But what about you, won't you get in trouble for murder?" Sanemi grins. You look so cute worried over him.

Sanemi tells you, "I'll be fine. Don't worry will be gone for a while, anyway. You can pick the place and if you don't like it when we get there, we can go somewhere else. I just hope you don't mind flying on a private jet with me. I can hold you close the whole time if you fear heights." You get up on the edge of the bed on your knee, and cup Sanemi's face. You lean in and kiss him softly, before pulling away and deciding on the spot.

"I want to stay with you here." Sanemi kisses you the moment you say it. As he wraps his arms around you and holds you close to him.

Sanemi pulls his lips far enough to ask you two questions, "Then how about we go on a two-week vacation then after tonight? You hate your job anyway, so why not?" Plus a change of scene would be good for you to get some fresh air and then you would have a safe space just for Sanemi and You, with both of your little fur babies to come home too.

Sanemi tries to ignore the anxious voice at the back of his head, telling him if he keeps getting closer to you, you're going to get hurt. Sanemi shoves theses worries down as you say,

"That sounds fun." Before deciding, "How about Italy?"

Sanemi's eyes light up the idea, as he says, "I know a place I want to take you. I can see if we can get slipped in for a private meal for one night of the nights we are there. Then we can go on a little boat right if you're up for it." The idea of sharing a night with you all dressed up for him. And being able seeing your face as you try a one of their meals while overlooking the beautiful city while some sweet music places to add to the atmosphere.

Sanemi wonders if you would cuddle him close to the body for warmth. And afterwards when he takes you back to the room he could run you a bath up, relax from looking dolled up all night.

You smile and bite your lip before half heartedly jokingly saying, "Careful sounds like a date."

Sanemi decides on the spot, "It is. If you want it to be." He doesn't want to push you into anything. And nor does he want to take back his impulsive choice. Since he can't tell you no.

Sanemi tells you, "Tomorrow morning we can go to your place. You can get our kittens and personal things you want to bring on the trip. Anything you don't want to bring, I can just get you. I can get the living room cleaned up, and the room across the hall decorated for you. I can send you the number of the lady who is going to redecorate this place of things you like. So she can mix up both of our tastes, so by the time we come back, the apartment reflects both of us." The idea has you excited, and you wonder if he wouldn't mind you sleeping in his bed even though you have your own bedroom.

You softly ask him, "You would really do that for me?" Running one hand down his bare chest and slipping the other one back into his soft white messy hair. You lightly scratch the back of his head. As Sanemi lets his eyes flutter shut as he soaks he groans.

Sanemi lets himself enjoy your touch a few seconds later before he strings together a thought and says, "It's the least I can do for you."

You snort at what he has offered you and quickly retort, "That's a lie."

Sanemi opens his eyes and grins at you, as he says, "You're right you have me out here losing my mind and wanting to do the most. Speaking of doing the most, I have someone to see and then I'll be all yours for the rest of the night." He slips out of the room and quickly returns with the bong before giving you a kiss on the forehead and leaving the room.

Sanemi as soon as he walks back into the room he confesses, "That was her shit and some of my lube. I had my thumb in her ass before you got here and my other two fingers in her dripping wet pussy. Which I'm guessing you've never seen the latter since you fucking forced yourself on her." Sanemi looks around and the heads for his coat closet where he has a set of tools is box on the shelf above his hoodies, sweaters, coats and jackets.

Open the large box up and looking inside, "I think I have some pliers around here, somewhere." Sanemi grabs some metal pliers out of his tool back and tells Josh,

Sanemi orders Josh, "Open your mouth or I'm going to break your jaw off." As he crouches in front of Josh and grabs onto one of his teeth and pulling. As Sanemi laughs at the sound of Josh's cries as his tooth comes loose.

You had to turn up the tv volume to cover up the cries of Josh. And even switched out your tank top for a dark hoodie Sanemi had piled on top of his dresser in his walk-in closet.

You had also packed a bowl, clearing half of it before Sanemi comes back. With blood on his face and chest, but mostly on his hands. You briefly wondered why you found it so damn hot to see Sanemi with his sweatpants hung low, and a cigarette between his lips, with your ex's blood on him.

You blame it on your building want for Sanemi that is clouding your mind. As you get off his bed and slip your finger into the waistband of Sanemi's sweatpants as he says, "I'll wash-" Sanemi pauses as you bite down on his thick right man tit.

"Don't worry about it, I know you want someone submissive, so this might be forward. But I can't wait any longer, I don't want to. Please, Daddy," You softly kiss the red bite mark forming, before you look up and stare into Sanemi's red eyes pleading with him, "I need you to make me feel good."

Sanemi asks, "There is nothing wrong with telling me how much you want me. I enjoy hearing you say how much you need me. Tell me princess you do you need me to put my head between your legs and your cute puffy clit in your mouth, while I stuff your stuff and stretch your tight hole out with my fingers?" You pull away from Sanemi and lay down on the bed and spread your legs. And the moment you do, Sanemi knows he is walking into the bathroom.

Sanemi gets between your legs and grabs your thighs, smearing blood on you as he leans down and says, "Damn princess, looking so yummy all for me, still so wet." Before he dips his tongue into the cream collecting between your pussy lips.

The way you groan out, "Daddy, please don't stop." As you reach down and grab a fist full of his hair as he licks up your slit to your puffy clit. Which he loudly sucks on your clit with groans of appreciation.

Sanemi smirks as he spells his name and he teases your clenching pussy hole by swirling one of his fingers around the tight outer ring of your pussy. As you push your hips down, only for him to pull away so he can tell you, "Keep your hips still, otherwise I'll stop. You got to be a good princess for me, and I'll make you cream all over my fingers and tongue before I give you my fat cock." He leans down and kisses your clit before sucking you into his mouth so he can swirl his tongue around the bundle of nerves. As you fight to keep your hips still with the thought of his cock in mind, you groan,

"I want to see you, too. Can I see your fat cock, Daddy?" You sound so cute begging to look at his cock. So Sanemi can't help but give you want you want. As he sits up, and gets off the bed, slipping his sweatpants off.

Sanemi's cock is beautiful with a pretty pink color on his tip while the rest of him is pale. There is a black barbell underneath his head and your eyes widen at the sight of it. "Your cock is pierced!" His long, thick and veiny cock rests onto of his large and slightly pink balls.

Sanemi grabs his cock and gets back on the bed, kneeling between your legs while stroking his cock above your pussy. He tells you, "I got it while drunk. Trust me, it will feel good." He softly presses his cock to your pussy, slowly dragging his head on your clit.

You moan, "You have a pretty cock Daddy, it feels so good rubbing up against my pussy." Sanemi drags his head down your slit and lines himself up with your tight hole. And you can't stop yourself from saying, "You can make you fat cock fit inside me, I'll be a good girl and take all of you deep inside me pussy however you want me too." Sanemi grabs the hem of his hoodie and pushes it up so he can see your chest. You look so beautiful underneath him with his cock between your fat puffy folds.

Sanemi closes groans, watching your expression as he slides his cock head back to your clit. Which he rubs softly, mixing with your pussy juices and turning it pink is the blood from your ex that is all over Sanemi's hands. The sight before you is carnal and needy, but still Sanemi's voice is so soft as he tells you, "My sweet princess, you still need to cum for me first."

You ask him, "But what about you?" Before quickly begging, "Please let me touch you and get you off, too." You were a needy submissive, and Sanemi didn't mind. It just meant that when you acted up, your requests won't be granted. But for now, you could have anything you wanted from him but him slipping his cock into your unprepared pussy for your first time.

Sanemi leans forward as shutter underneath him, your hips jerking before you grow still again. You whine, "I'm getting close because of you rubbing your cock on my clit." Sanemi didn't expect you to last long, but this was quick.

The building neediness and watching his pale cock slip rub against you. As he leans over you with his flushed cheek and half-open eyes. And a wide smirk on his face, as he groans, and then says, "After you cum, then I can be on top. You can have my cock and balls in your face. If your mouth gets too tired, I can fuck my cock into your cute mouth while I eat your pretty pussy." Sanemi talks you through your peak as you wrap you arms around him and pull him closer. Making him whisper in your ear, "Or you can be on top and suck my cock more freely while you straddle my head. What do you want to do after you cum all over my cock?' You are gushing on his cock while moaning as you sink your nails into his back from the overstimulation.

You have cummed for the first time and your body feels floaty and tingly as you cling to Sanemi. Who doesn't want to stop thrusting his hips and you don't want to tell him to stop, so you whine,

"I want Daddy's balls covering my face!" Sanemi pulls away and grabs the sweatpants so he can clean the blood off his cock so you don't have to taste any of it. Before he gets back on the bed and gets on top of you, putting his cock and balls in your face.

You quickly wrap your hand around his cock and lead his tip to your mouth. And Sanemi is closing his eyes as he groan while you slowly sink him into your mouth. His balls resting on your face as you stuff as much of his cock into your mouth as you can before you gag around him.

Sanemi thrusts his hips forward, shoving more of his cock deeper into your throat. While he slips two of his fingers into your pussy, he groans, "I'm you'll be living with me as my pretty little princess. And I'm so grateful you are going to let me stuff my cock into your pussy. nghh keep sucking Daddy's cock like that baby girl, your doing so well." Sanemi's cock feels so good in your mouth, the heavy weight of him and the taste of his pre-cum that seeps out of the slit on his fat head. His cock is too big to fit for you to put all of him in your mouth and throat. As you rub the bottom of his cock with your hand.

Sanemi leans down and loudly slurps your clit as he sinks his two of his fingers into your pussy. His heavy groans as you hallow your cheeks and slowly help his cock in and out of your mouth with your hand.

Moaning around Sanemi as he finds your sweet spot with his fingers. And he softly massages it as he slips his other free hand under your ass. So he can give your cheek a harsh squeeze to hear you whimper.

His body was so much larger than yours, pinning you down against the bed, making you feel smaller. You never thought Sanemi's bulky size would arouse you so much, but you can't help it as you pull Sanemi's cock out of your mouth and start kissing on his balls. With the only thought going through your head being your his cute little submissive who is going to take his fat cock until he creams.

Sanemi slips in a third finger and you moan, "Your fingers are so thick stretching out my small pussy. I can' get enough, you're so big making me feel good n stuffed. While you pin me to the bed, with your fat balls in my face. Please Daddy I want to be your only submissive, want my pretty little pussy to be enough for your oversized cock." Sucking one of his balls into your mouth, and Sanemi groans as he pulls away, keeping all three of his fingers pumping into your sweet, noisy heat.

Sanemi takes a moment to listen to your pussy before he tells you, "Don't worry princess, you won't be sharing me. My cock is all yours, alongside every drop of cum I have in my fat balls. Just like your pretty pussy is all mine to kiss, stuff and ruin." Sanemi wonders if just maybe life is cutting him a bit of slack by sending such a beautiful princess his way, to spoil and care for.

You pull away from Sanemi's balls and lick along his long length before you ask him, "Are you going to cum inside your princess' pretty pussy?" You place loud kisses on his thick head, smearing pre-cum on your hips before you add, "I want your thick hot cum. I want to feel it deep inside my stomach. Please can I get you off with my tiny soft pussy?" Sanemi is getting jealous of his own fingers, as your soft gummy walls clench tightly around his thick fingers. He wishes he had his cock inside you, that you were gripping his cock while begging for his cum.

"I was going to finish on your tits, but fucking shit, I'll cum deep inside you and give your sweet pussy what she needs. Sounds like she is begging for my cock too, with how loud she is." You slip Sanemi's cock into your mouth as you cup his balls, massaging both of them while pumping his base.

Sanemi could feel the vibrations in his balls whenever you gag around him. As he tries to keep his hips still while you sloppily suck him off. While you gently fondle his balls.

He hates he can't wait anymore as he asks you, "Do you think your ready to take my cock princess?"

Quickly you take his cock out of your mouth and beg him, "Please fuck my pussy. I can handle taking all of you. Please daddy fuck your princess pussy and have my virginity." Sanemi knows your going to ruin him before he can wreck your pussy if you keep begging him like that.

Carefully getting off from you and moving back between your legs. He knows you've been on your back throughout most of it, but he wants to see your cute face when you take his cock for the first time.

Sanemi asks you, "Are you sure you want to move in with me, and that you want my cock?" As he lightly pushes the head of his cock against your pussy hole, teasing you as he reaches forward to grab onto his study head board.

You softly groan, "Please Daddy I want to be with you and have take care of your cock and help you drain your heavy balls whenever you want me to." You want to push your hips down to take some of his cock inside you, but you don't want to disobey him.

Sanemi gives you just the tip of his cock as he grabs your hips and lifts you off the bed so he could line your hips up with his better. You reach up placing your hands on his shoulders, as you softly moan, "More Daddy, give me more of your thick cock." Only to cry as Sanemi pushes half of his cock inside.

He stops there, feeling you throb as your pussy walls flutter around him. He groans, "You feel so good princess, tightly squeezes my cock. I'm going to buy you a pretty collar that has jewels on it that matches your beautiful eyes. With a small tag hanging from it with my name on it, so everyone knows you're my only and favorite princess." Sanemi pulls his cock out to the head, before pumping his hips and asking you, Do you want that? Does my beautiful princess want to wear daddy's collar?"

Sanemi moves his hips in at slow and steady pace, fucking his cock inside you. As his grip on your hip tightens and it takes every part of him not to slam the rest of your cock into your sweet heat.

You whimper and moan, "Yes I want to wear Daddy's collar and be your cute princess! You feel so good inside my stirring up my insides. I'm so full and my pussy can barely handle you but I don't want you to stop stuffing me."

Sanemi smirks at you, "Princess you still have the other half of Daddy's cock to take."

m.list

[makeyouminemp3]

so take your time while you're mine and smoke slow

steve harrington x reader (no specific gender use of pronouns), and platonic!eddie munson x reader

requested: nope, not at all

warnings: spoilers for stranger things 4 (both volumes), smoking (does it even need a warning, smoke is literally in the goddamn title), st*ncy (it deserves its own warning), also if you can't tell already, I am apart of the nancy protection squad and i will defend her in anyway possible so if you hate her: please leave, a helluva lot of mutual pining that's confused for unrequited love, eddie playing matchmaker, a huge bowl of angst with an eventual and fluffy happy ending

a/n: after reading like a bajillion fics of steve, I wanted to make one for myself out of boredom, and I tend to make people cry. and in honor of joshua bassett's new song, "smoke slow" that's officially out, I decided to do a fic of said song because the snippet that has been out since may has been stuck in my head on a loop so I wanted to do something with it. but go check out the song please, I am begging you. it is so good. also, the pronouns in the original song are gonna be switched in the story, but the original lyrics are there. so in the story it's from she to he (he as in steve) and he to she (she as in nancy) as the fic goes on so you'll understand. I don't think I need to explain myself further anyways so...

*not my gif btw*

she asks for a light

as our secrets spill on the window sill

we're buyin' more time

while we kill ourselves as we both inhale

you didn't exactly hate steve harrington, you could tolerate him to a certain extent. the boy wasn't entirely unbearable and was sometimes entertainment at points. you were dragged into the whole upside down stuff since 1983. and you weren't usually around steve very often when the world goes to shit to care about him.

the only time you formed some type of connection with him was at tina's halloween party you saw him while walking home, sulking on the sidewalk. and as someone who wasn't entirely heartless, especially after seeing the look in his eye that just made him look like he's on the verge of sobbing. you didn't need that tonight, cause you just wanted to have fun and act normal for once. sitting down beside him as the two of you talked it out, about how nancy wheeler called him bullshit and that their entire relationship is bullshit and then he just left.

"so you just left her at the party... drunk?" you looked shocked, still trying to process it, "dude, what she said wasn't cool but come on!"

he didn't say anything else on the matter, just wanted to forget everything, "do you have a light?" you nodded and went into your pocket, bringing out cigarettes and a lighter. the two of you just sat there, getting high off your asses and watch as the night went on. both of you had opened up about your own personal lives and finding some kind of understanding.

after that, it was now four in the morning and you took him home. after what had happened at the party, he needed to rest before being hit in the face with reality before school. then heading home and heading to bed yourself, then just wondering maybe there is a good side to steve harrington that you just haven't seen yet, and even some part of you wished to see more of a vulnerable side to steve.

makin' believe there's a future

is it naive to think we could work?

the night el had closed the gate back in eighty four, you and steve didn't talk at all after that just between the both of you, after that for at least a year. the only somewhat time you saw one another was at the snowball when he dropped of dustin. he saw you, who was currently chaperoning the dance with nancy and jonathan, but you were currently smoking a cigarette. you had noticed him staring at you and all you did was wave before he drove off.

during the summer, you didn't exactly had a proper conversation with him. he was with robin, dustin and erica at the mall where there was a secret russian base underneath. meanwhile, you were with mike, el, will, max, lucas, jonathan and nancy, trying to find out how to stop billy and the mind flayer.

he hadn't noticed the tiny little glances you gave him once you saw him again. you honestly had no idea why you couldn't stop staring at him, there was just something that just made you infatuated that you were not self aware of your current actions. even in jonathan's car as he drove you, steve, robin, nancy, will and lucas away from the mind flayer and as they all had overheard dustin and his girlfriend, suzie singing "neverending story" over the walkie talkie, your eyes were on him, at least 90% of the time. there were times that you couldn't while the rest of you were in peril that very same night.

then after the events of starcourt, you were imagining these dreams of your future. like, wanting to be successful and rich, wanting to be loved, maybe have a couple of kids or two. but in those dreams about that potential future, steve was there. what part did he play in it, who knows honestly? being your boyfriend, or a friend, or something, he was there but for what purpose? you two weren't that close, yet again, not even aware of the fact of how much you stared at him.

but honestly, he couldn't even be the only there (with 'there' being the future, your future). you both are apart of the same friend group, even though said friend group consists of mainly middle schoolers. you obviously didn't mind hanging around them of course, more fun to be around then most people your age.

the second it's out, then i lose her

we're already here, so one more won't hurt

it won't hurt

it's now the spring of 1986, and this was the year where you and steve had to be in close proximity of one another. and ever since spring break started, you saw more of that same steve from that halloween night, vulnerable and kind and sweet and caring. that even something in the air had developed some type of non-platonic feeling. but with this itching feeling that steve is still in love with nancy, you refused to say anything. in order to cope and try to forget for a few minutes via smoking as your mind had went away, it wouldn't hurt, would it?

but obviously that didn't last, because you were forcibly pulled back to reality. you guys did anything to stop vecna and clear eddie's name. eddie has been your friend since the start of your senior year, he taught you how to play guitar. it felt nice to be around a guy without it being awkward. you and eddie were strictly platonic, like what steve and robin are. so, of course you would do anything to make sure he's able to walk in broad daylight without people calling him a murderer and with the cops on his trail. you and dustin were the ones that were the most passionate on clearing eddie's name.

then, in the last couple of days, max got cursed by vecna and almost died, but another victim was added which was lucas' basketball teammate was the next one. and then here you currently are, in the upside down with steve, nancy, robin and eddie, after a bunch of vines had dragged you down the lake and into the upside down because you refused steve to put himself in danger (again). where steve, by no hesitation had jumped in after you first before the others.

you could not handle the steve and nancy flirting going on, so you needed some type of excuse to be away from that. and that you'd rather have someone shoot you in the head with a nail gun, repeatedly than having to watch the two of them give each other heart eyes the entire time. and even eddie looked like he was over it and he's new to the group. the sight of steve looking at her made you wanna vomit, but the munson had noticed your reaction to the other two and knew what to do.

the five of you were walking over to the wheeler residence so nancy can grab the guns she has in her bedroom. eddie walked right next to you and immediately started the conversation with, "you know, i'm not particularly an expert when it comes to romance cause i have never been in a relationship. but, i've seen the way you act around harrington."

you risen your eyebrow at the munson in confusion, "i have no idea what you're talking about..."

"come on, y/n!" he pats your shoulder, "whenever he says one word, your eyes are immediately on him and solely focus on whatever he says."

"that's because he's talking..." you looked even more confused at what eddie is trying to tell you. the munson rolled his eyes, "you practically looked in awe of him. whenever i talk, you don't look at me like that." he then snaps his fingers and points our, "oh, and another thing, the look of disgust on your face whenever him and nancy flirted."

"and that's also because one: she has a boyfriend, and honestly she honestly did not look comfortable at his advances and I do not blame her. and two--" you held up two fingers as you proceeded, "we're practically in hell. so maybe flirting while we have a high possibility of dying isn't exactly the best time."

"fair points." eddie agreed, "then, let's talk about how harrington feels about you."

"and what about it?"

"personally, i would have never jumped in, not under any normal circumstances. outside of d&d, i am no hero. i see danger and i just turn heel and run. or at least that's what i've learned about myself this week. give yourself a break, y/n. see? the only reason i came in here was 'cause harrington and the two ladies over there chit chatting came in straight after you. now, i was too ashamed to be the one who stayed behind." he explained, "i just played follow the leader."

you had a fake smile on your face, "so what is your point? you're wondering why other people care about me?"

"if you let me get to the point--" eddie says, "but harrington right there, he didn't waste a second. not one second. he just dove right in. now, i don't know what you guys had before i came in, but if I were you, i'd confess my love while i still can. cause that was as unambiguous a sign of true love as these cynical eyes have ever seen."

"that is..." you had paused for a second, taking in a deep sigh, "the most cheeziest shit i have ever heard. and it's pretty damn stupid. steve is selfless and such, he would've dove in after anyone... like nancy."

"maybe..." the munson shrugs at you, "but it's just the worry and the concern on his face while you were dragged down the lake. honestly the look on his face didn't look like he'd have that reaction for anyone. not even nancy wheeler."

"so you're basically just finding this--" you proceeded to had put in quotes, "'love story' between steve and i, your entertainment?"

"yeah..." eddie had let out a chuckle, "watching you silently pin over him with those sad lost puppy dog eyes was tugging the heartstrings."

"glad you find my pain entertaining." you sarcastically responded, "but even if i had these 'feelings' for steve. what makes you one hundred percent sure he feels the same?"

"it's in the eyes." he points out, "sometimes the voice, but mainly the eyes. look, if you don't want him, you can let wheeler have a second shot with him." and that made you gag a little and eddie couldn't help but laugh, "i knew it, you are jealous of her."

"no, i'm not."

"i'll let you be in denial."

"i just don't wanna ruin everything." you had blurted out, and then further explained, "i confess how i feel, then he doesn't feel the same and our friendship is ruined. i would rather have him as a friend than not have him at all."

but all that we are is all that we'll ever be

'cause he's the one waitin' at home

finding out the upside down has been stuck in the day will went missing for over two years, the five of you had went over to eddie's trailer. since dustin had explained that there must be a gate at every murder sight. him, lucas, max and erica had found a way to get you and the others back to your world safely. and then a pit of rage and jealousy had pondered when you made it through and looked up to see only steve and nancy left. and with nancy now being possessed by vecna which left everyone in a fit of panic.

but suddenly, she was out of the trance and you saw steve cradling her face. and that made you wanna grab eddie's guitar and shove it down your throat. both of them made it back through as they all snuck over to max's trailer as nancy explained to what vecna saw her see. after that, and a lot of convincing to go back into the upside down but with protection and weapons. as well as max using herself as bait to make vecna's physical body defenseless so he can be killed with breaking a sweat. and then they had stolen an rv from one of the trailer park residents with steve driving and nancy in the passenger seat.

you couldn't help but roll your eyes but also stare at them with your head lying down on the small table with robin and eddie on both of your sides. god, why would you be jealous of nancy? she has boyfriend for crying out loud and you know how much she loves jonathan. you honestly didn't know if they were still going strong, but that wasn't any of your business. after hearing steve talk about wanting six kids and seeing the two looking at each other that made you want to die. but also another part of you thinks, god, poor nancy, hasn't she had been through enough? for a split second, you could tell that she didn't look exactly comfortable, especially that you can tell by that fake smile on her face cause that smile did not seem anywhere near genuine. personally, who could be comfortable in that situation? if steve is really hinting at her being in that dream (especially the way he was looking at her), then you felt more bad for nancy constantly being flirted by her ex boyfriend while he knows she's in a relationship and saying all of this to her, specifically out of anyone.

your mind just wondered off, after that. still really having the urge to open the door to the rv and jumping out while you still can, and hopefully get run over by a nearby car, but that's definitely not gonna happen.

it's just all that you and steve is, is probably what you were ever gonna be. best friends and completely platonic. even though what you felt for him, was not platonic at all, and everyone else knew it but steve and sometimes even yourself.

she holds my guitar as i pluck out a melody

there's only so far we can go

and then after dropping off max, lucas and erica at the creel house, you and the others were in the upside down. you went with steve, nancy and robin to go to the upside down version of the creel house to take out vecna, while dustin and eddie were being the distraction against the demobats.

and the walk, felt like it had been forever, your feet were hurting, robin ran off with nancy chasing after her. and now it was just you and steve alone. and god, did that terrify the fuck out of you. for a split second the thought of you being alone with steve with all of these confused feelings going on scared you more than vecna himself. but, you try and stay calm and started talking about robin being a super clutz and how it took her longer to walk then most babies. that had made steve brought up how when he was a baby, he used to crawl backwards.

"what? how, exactly?" you had looked entirely confused, but couldn't help but laugh. he laughed along with you, as he explained, "come on, it makes sense. you push to move, right?"

"no, no, it doesn't make sense whatsoever."

"well, it did to my tiny little harrington brain. that is, until i reversed my baby butt down a flight of stairs and thumped my head really good."

"that explains a lot." you snorted.

"yeah." he chuckles, "i think it kinda does. i think, like, right out of the gate, like, i'm super confident. but i'm also, like, an idiot. which is just... i mean, it's a brutal combination. but, i mean, the good news is, i get a big enough thump on my head, i can change, you know? i can learn. i can crawl forward." he had finished explaining, "honestly, thanks to nancy for giving my head the biggest thump of it's life two years ago, it's changed my life. i really needed it, and now i'm crawling forward. slowly."

you then had brought up to remind him, "also jonathan too, since he did beat the ever living shit out of you. it was satisfying to watch."

"that too." he then went on further, "for so long i was dwindling in the past over a girl who couldn't love me back. which is not her fault, people just can't control how they feel. i thought these things i've been feeling this past week have been about old flames that should've never died out. but honestly, realizing these past twenty four hours, there's a new flame in my life that i just never realized til now."

you had looked a tad bit confused, both of you stopping while you looked directly at him, "what are you saying exactly?"

"you heard the talk i had with nancy, right?" you shrugged and nodded, "all of it is true. every last word. for so long, i saw nancy in that dream with me, but i just don't see it anymore."

"you don't?"

"no, actually and surprisingly, i don't." he replied, "there was just this one important part that i had left out." you noticed him giving you this look as he said those two words that had rocked your world and that it changed your guys' friendship so much from that point on, "you're there."

oh.

you didn't know what to say. how can you respond to something like that? like you felt this relief on your shoulders that he wasn't talking about wanting a family with nancy straight to your face. he saw you. it was still something difficult to process it all. this was as hard as trying to teach steve how to play the guitar a few weeks ago cause he noticed it in your room and asked for you to teach him for fun. but instead of him plucking the strings of your guitar, it is the strings of your heart. with said heart on the verge of beating out of your chest and exploding everywhere.

literally, what can you say to that? like having a life long commitment with someone who imagines and wants six kids with you? you'd die on the spot.

but, just in time before you had the chance to pass out or something, robin and nancy had found you both. interrupted this moment you and steve have, and it just felt like another relief lifted from your shoulders. you were put on a pedestal and expected to have a response of some kind, at least one word. but said words were just too hard to form.

i'm next to you but i'll never be close

so take your time while you're mine and smoke slow

two days after everything that happened. eddie is dead, max is in a coma and you were still processing everything that had happened. like holy fucking shit, what just happened? and now, it's been two days, you're helping nancy clear out some of her old things to donate it to people that are in need of stuff ever since vecna's gates had opened. then, you all suddenly heard honking from a small distance with a pizza van showing up out of no where. and conveniently said pizza can had mike, will, jonathan, el, and some other guy coming out of it. you immediately had embraced el and will with dustin, "i've missed you kiddos so much! how are you, are you okay?"

you also had noticed el's hair is gone, and you just couldn't say anything cause you were in shock. all you did was just give her a meaningful kiss on the forehead. you then had walked over to mike and gave him a quick hug, "god, you leave for one week and everything goes to hell."

"same thing happened on our end too."

"well i'm glad you're okay." and then you walked in between jonathan and nancy's little reunion, "so glad so see you two back together. a major relief for me, actually." and then you gave jonathan a big hug, "you've grown out your hair, byers. i'm so close to grabbing some scissors and getting your old hair back."

"i'll think about it." he says, he let's go and the other dude who you didn't know walked over as jonathan introduced him, "this is my friend, argyle. he was honestly a big help on our end."

"sup." argyle says. you just nodded and shook his hand, "pleasure to meet you."

after the reunions and such, you, steve, robin and dustin went to the school and volunteered to help out the people that are in need. you were helping steve fold clothes as the both of you had noticed robin talking and smiling with her crush, vickie. and then you had broken this two day silence with steve after what he said, "about that night--"

"no, no, it's fine." he cuts you off, "i shouldn't have dropped that on you while we were on the possibility of not making it. it's not fair to you, and i was crossing a million boundaries. and i--" you stopped steve from rambling further by kissing him to shut up. you pulled away with a smile on your face, "i understand, really. because, i had imagined my own future for you apart of it for a while. in like, any possible way, you were there. maybe not the six kids in an rv, traveling across the country type suburban dream. but just, a nice one where we don't have to worry about demogorgan's, and the mind flayer, and vecna, and just the upside down in general." you stopped yourself for a second to catch your breath before proceeding, "i just personally didn't wanna say anything because i didn't wanna ruin this friendship we had built if you didn't feel the same. but hey, you do, and that's great! but, maybe we just take our time slow. cause i'm definitely not ready for six kids."

"i can see that." he smiled, "we don't have to have six kids if you're not comfortable with it. that's totally fine."

you returned a smile at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek and went back to folding clothes, "thank you." then you had also adding, "i'm glad i was there whole you were sulking on halloween night two years ago."

"i'm glad too."

a/n: hope you guys enjoyed! honestly, I wouldn't mind getting some stranger things requests for steve and other characters like nancy, jonathan, robin, max, lucas (I may need to make a new post on who you guys can requests from which fandoms again and a new masterlist but not at the moment)

[if-mirrormine]

Imagine the awkwardness of an oblivious & tipsy MC trying to matchmake Grayson with the spin the bottle guy

you mean like this?

grayson doesn't know how but their game of spin the bottle had turned into a game of truth or dare. he's been painfully sober the entire night, being the designated driver, and he's found out the hard way that games with drunk people aren't fun at all when you're not drunk yourself.

mc, on the other hand, seems to be having enough fun for the both of them. a dopey smile on their face and a plastic cup in hand, filled with rum and coke as far as he can tell, they sit cross legged beside him, buzzing with anticipation as the bottle is spun once more. he smiles to himself as the bottle slows to a stop, pointing to his best friend and they let out an excited "yes!".

"alright, mc, your turn," says erica, the girl who had just moments before had dared one of their friends to chug an entire bottle of vodka and is probably just as drunk, if not more.

he catches mc's eye and immediately regrets it when an evil smile erupts on their face. "grayson," they start. "truth or dare?"

if it were another night, another party, it wouldn't matter to grayson which he'd choose. but right now, he can't risk choosing truth, not when there's a chance mc could find out how he really feels. so he does what he knows will come back to haunt him and he chooses dare.

mc's face lights up in delight. "i was hoping you'd go for dare," they say before using their drink to gesture towards him. "i dare you to spend seven minutes in heaven with jake!"

swallowing his groan, grayson turns to look at the man in question. the man who he just so happened to share his first kiss with during the shortly lived game of spin the bottle.

jake gives him a shy smile and shrugs his shoulders, and grayson resigns himself to his fate, knowing that any kind of protest from him would only result in both of them being shoved in the closet by a horde of drunkards. he sighs,  climbs to his feet and follows the other man to the nearest closet. let's get this over with.

the closet is cramped, packed with all sorts of jackets and coats and grayson finds himself pressed against jake's side as they once more sit on the floor.

"never thought i'd end up back in the closet," jake quips. "let alone willingly."

grayson chuckles. "it's a lot more cramped than i imagined it would be."

the other man gives him a soft smile. "we don't have to do anything," jake says reassuringly and grayson notes that he speaks with a distinct clarity that their fellow party goers lack. in fact, he doesn't think he's seen him drink anything other than water the whole night.

"thanks," he replies, his voice quiet. "and sorry you got dragged into this. mc's made it their life mission to find me someone to date."

"ah." jake nods before glancing between him and the door. "let me guess; the only person you want to date is them?"

grayson makes a move to argue but is quickly met with a knowing stare. "am i that obvious?"

he shrugs. "a little. but i'm pretty sure everyone's too drunk to notice."

"too bad they can't be drunk forever," he mumbles.

"you don't plan on telling them? ever?"

it's now grayson's turn to shrug. "i don't want to risk losing them over a stupid crush."

"i don't think it's stupid... or a crush for that matter. and what if they feel the same?"

he sighs. he's thought about this before - probably too much - and he's always come back to conclusion that if the mc liked him in that way even a little, they'd have done something by now. but then again, neither has he for the better half of three years.

he glances up at jake and is met with sympathetic eyes. "i think i'd rather sit in silence for the next couple minutes," he says. "if that's okay with you."

jake only smiles in return. "sure."

the remaining four minutes pass by agonisingly slow and grayson can't contain his sigh of relief when a knock sounds at the door.

"times up, love birds!" mc calls. "you can come out now."

the two of them rise to their feet, careful to not knock their heads together. jake is the first to reach for the door handle but instead of turning it, he glances up at him. "think about it," he says, his face earnest. "telling them. no matter the outcome, i think you'd be a lot happier if you did."

grayson remains rooted to the floor even after jake has stepped out the closet. he thinks about their conversation. he thinks about mc and how he feels about them, and he thinks the possibility of rejection. the thing is, he used to think of that as one of many possible outcomes of telling them his true feelings. now? he believes it to be the only one.

[dreamwritesimagines]

Twisted 19 - Chasing Silhouettes [Spencer Reid x Reader]

A.N.: Thank you so much for your wonderful support my loves! Here’s the next chapter, I hope you will like it as well, and please let me know what you think of it! ❤❤ Ily, kisses! ❤❤❤

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Murder, serial killers, violence, manipulation, mentions of sex, drinking, smoking, blood.

Word Count: 3800

Summary: Truce can be inevitable. 

It was safe to say that you were officially off your rocker after the break up. Stress? Check. No sleep? Check. Getting drunk mid-day? Check.

Looking a serial killer in the eye and threatening him?

Also check.

The constant anger was gone though. That blinding fury was gone, the fear was gone, the only thing you felt was numbness. It was as if you were watching everything happening around you from behind a glass, it was there but you couldn’t touch it or feel it.

With one exception; you missed Spencer each and every minute of the day, so you at least knew there was something left inside of you that wasn’t broken. But after what had happened, it wasn’t like you could call him. You had already left him multiple voice messages whenever you got too drunk anyway, and you were sure he had deleted them without even listening.

Not that you could blame him. He had already told you he wished he had never met you, and there was nothing you could do to change that.

“You guys will get back together,” Kenzie assured you like the hopeless romantic she was, “This is just temporary. I just know it, it’s like me and Mina. You can’t stop true love.”

“I doubt Mina ever told you she never loved you,” you stated, exhaling the smoke of your cigarette. “Or that you told her you wish you had never met her.”

She stole a look at Mina who was waiting for your lattes by the counter and turned to you.

“Well alright, maybe you and Spencer are having a more intense fight than we did, but—“

“This is not a fight, Kenz. We broke up.”

“You broke up with him,” she corrected you, “And you’re still in love with him.”

“Doesn’t matter,” you shrugged your shoulders, “I burned that bridge, okay? After this whole case is over, he will want nothing to do with me—hell, he wants nothing to do with me right now and I don’t blame him.”

“Okay,” Mina said as she came to your table and handed you your latte before sitting down, “What are we talking about?”

“Her and Spencer.”

“Yeah no, fuck that guy.”

Kenzie gasped, “Babe!”

“Kenz, he’s in the FBI, okay? He was there when they brought her into that interrogation room.”

“He wasn’t there when they took me to the station.”

“Fine, he came later on but did nothing to stop his beloved team from hounding you.”

“Mina, he was in another room.”

“You can’t possibly believe he didn’t know what was happening in the interrogation room,” she insisted and Kenzie pulled her brows together.

“Wait, didn’t you say he was the one who called you? For the lawyers and everything?”

Mina shrugged, “Yeah, so? That was just because this one,” she pointed at you, “Was too much of an idiot to ask for a lawyer. What, did you never watch a movie? You always ask for a lawyer.”

“But think about it, it means that he was trying to protect her from that whole interrogation process before he even landed,” Kenzie stated, “He knows how that whole thing goes, he made the calls, he gave his professional opinion to the police, he sent his team because they wouldn’t let him in there, it wouldn’t surprise me if he thought they’d go easy on her.”

You held the warm cup in your hands, listening silently.

“Or he just wanted to play the nice guy so that he could manipulate her more.”

You pulled your brows together, “Dude, he’s not manipulating me.”

“Not right now.”

“Not ever,” you said, “That’s not… that wasn’t the reason. Kenzie has a point, he was trying to get me out of there with minimum damage, and he knows how the system works.”

“Yeah, and that’s exactly why you need to talk to him and explain—“

“Enough people got hurt because of me,” you cut Kenzie off, “Died, even. It would destroy me if it was him, okay? Me staying away is better for him, at least he will stay alive.”

Mina scoffed, “Not that your heartbreak is not important, but I need to bitch at you before I forget,” she said, “How could you not tell me Nolan was planning to propose mom?”

Kenzie smiled, “I think it’s sweet.”

“I think it’s a fucking disaster.”

“Oh come on,” you murmured, sipping your coffee, “You’ve seen them together, haven’t you? It’s bound to happen, he’s head over heels and mom can’t stop talking about him.”

Mina let out a whine, “I’m a good person,” she murmured, “I give to charity and stuff, I don’t deserve this.”

“You’re not ten years old you idiot, a stepfather will not disturb any dynamics you have.”

“He will though!” she protested, “To repeat, he is basically my boss, okay?”

“He’s a lot of people’s boss.”

“Yeah, do you know what people will think when I finally make partner?” she asked you, “That my brand new stepdaddy pulled some strings.”

“Please don’t call him stepdaddy, that’s just disturbing.” Kenzie made a face and Mina heaved a sigh.

“How are you so okay with this?” she asked you and you tilted your head.

“Mina, there’s a killer who’s going after people I know and making sure I see that,” you started, counting with your fingers,  “I’ve been drugged at my own apartment—in my own bedroom only to find my ex boyfriend’s dead body in my kitchen. I’ve been accused of murder, been handcuffed, interrogated and broke up with the love of my life. The last past week, I got maybe five hours of sleep and oh, before I forget, I also threatened our original serial killer father with death just a couple of days ago. Does it look like I’m in the right mental state to worry about getting a new stepdaddy?”

“To repeat, can you guys stop calling him stepdaddy?”

“What did you tell him when he asked for your blessing?” you asked and Mina rolled her eyes.

“I told him that mom is a grown woman,” she said, “She doesn’t need our permission to do anything. If she wants to get married to the guy who has apparently loved her for decades… who am I to say no to that?”

You tilted your head, “You were nice?” you asked in disbelief, “You’re never nice.”

“Eh, I have my moments.”

“What’s the real reason?”

Mina pointed at Kenzie with her thumb, “She said to be nice.”

“You’re so whipped.”

“You are seriously going to sit there and call me whipped when you’ve been wailing for the last month, miss I shall suffer forever after my lost love even though he was two seconds away from handcuffing me and not in a fun way?”

“He wasn’t-“

“Both of you are being too cynical about Nolan,” Kenzie interrupted you and grinned wide, “I mean come on, doesn’t it make you believe in love all over again?”

“It makes me want to get booze because I’ll never have that, Kenz,” you murmured and she pulled her brows together.

“Oh don’t be like that.”

“Kenz he was the love of my life and I lost—“

“I’m leaving if you start crying into your latte,” Mina deadpanned, “And please don’t say that you’ll plan Nolan’s proposal or God forbid, their wedding.”

“My client list is full.”

She let out a laugh, “You realize we all know that’s your favorite excuse when you don’t want to accept a client, right?” she asked you and you shrugged your shoulders.

“I think I’ll sit this one out,” you said and checked your wristwatch, “Well, I gotta get back to the office, I have this meeting and then I have two other meetings with these new pastry shops.”

“Hey, brat?” Mina stopped you as soon as you stood up and you tilted your head.

“Yeah?”

“You’re okay, right?” she asked, “Besides this whole mess?”

You took a deep breath, forcing yourself to smile, “I’m not but I will be.”

“Will you?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, “I mean I have to, right? There’s not much of an option there.”

Mina looked like she wanted to insist, but Kenzie squeezed her hand, silently telling her to drop it before you made your way through the street to approach the building your office was in. You nodded at the security guards then got in the elevator and pressed the button.

When the elevator got to your floor the doors opened but your assistant rushed to you as soon as you stepped outside

“Y/N, hi! You haven’t been answering your phone.”

“Shit, I forgot it on silent,” you murmured and checked it to see five calls from her, “Five calls? Erica, did you guys catch fire or something?”

“I was actually thinking maybe you would want to come to the balcony with me, you know, to get some fresh air before your meeting?”

You pulled your brows together, “What’s going on?”

“We didn’t know if we should call you or left them downstairs but…” she said, making your heart skip a beat.

“What is it?”

“Remember the time you said you were allergic to jasmines?”

You could feel the goosebumps rising on your arms, “Yeah?”

She pointed at something over your shoulder and you turned your head, your breathing catching up in your throat as someone opened the glass door to go outside.

There was a bowl full of jasmine flower petals but you could still take the overly sweet scent. Bile climbed up your throat as you walked through the door to approach the reception desk, and as soon as you saw what was in the middle of the petals, the room started spinning.

A vial of blood.

“Are you dating like a goth guy?” Erica asked as you took a step back, the walls closing in on you.

“Call the FBI,” you gasped as you rushed to the balcony, desperate for air, “Now.”

                                            ***

Panic attacks were a big part of your childhood, and even if you weren’t completely unfamiliar with them as an adult, they still managed to take you by surprise.

It took you nearly an hour to pull yourself together. An hour of sitting there in the balcony, your knees drawn up to your chest as your mind desperately searched for something to focus on, something to hold on to.

Some happy place.

By the time FBI had gotten there, your makeup was smudged around your eyes due to the excessive crying, your whole body was shaky and you were so exhausted that you could barely will yourself to get up and walk to your office.

The jasmine scent still clung to the air though.

You didn’t even have any energy to keep your eyes open, your whole mind wrapped in that numb haze that kept pulling you deeper and deeper into the absolute nothingness as you sat there on the couch, multiple agents coming and going into the office, into the reception, into your floor.

Dr Tara Lewis, Spencer’s coworker had given you a small bottle of hand lotion so that you could take in a scent other than those flowers before she had shot you a sympathetic smile and left your office to talk with the reception.

Even raising your hand to wipe at your nose with the tissue balled up in your palm felt way too tiring for you, but you wiped your nose, your eyes still fixed on the wall as the glass door to your office opened once again and footsteps came closer.

You didn’t even have to raise your head as Spencer approached you before he knelt down to look you in the eye.

“Hi.”

You blinked a couple of times, “Hi,” you sniffled, “Is it okay if we don’t do this today?”

He raised his brows, “Don’t do what?”

“I’m too tired to fight,” your speech was almost slurred at this point but you pulled your brows together, forcing yourself to focus as much as you could. “So can we do that tomorrow please? Like truce for a day?”

He offered you a tight lipped smile, “I’m not here to fight,” he said gently, as if trying to pull you back to the reality without scaring you, “Truce for a day works for me.”

You picked at the crumpled tissue in your hand, “Thank you.”

“Do you think you can talk to me though?”

You nodded silently, wiping at your nose again. “Yes.”

“Great,” he said, his calm voice washing over you, “That’s good. What’re you thinking about right now?”

“I’m thinking…” you tried to put your thoughts in order, “Tara gave me a peach hand lotion, can you give it back to her after you’re done here?”

“Sure,” he said, “That’s a good thing to focus on. What else?”

“It’s not my dad,” you said, “My dad wouldn’t dare to fuck with me, not after- it’s not him.”

“Tell me something other than the case.”

You willed yourself to concentrate on his handsome face, “Do I look like a horror movie corpse right now?”

He scoffed a chuckle, shaking his head. “You look beautiful Y/N. You always do.”

“The only person who’s a bigger liar than you is that makeup artist that told me this eyeliner was waterproof.”

He reached out to tilt your chin up so that his hazel gaze could study you better, and even in your numb state you could feel the warmth spreading through your body with his touch, “How long have you been awake?”

“I dozed off for like an hour last night,” you murmured, “I have this new apartment but I can’t sleep in my bedroom because I keep thinking there’s some noise coming from the kitchen, like… like it’s going to happen again. It’s impossible though, there are like five different locks on that door, someone would have to come with a battering ram to open the damn thing but I still don’t feel safe enough to—to sleep.”

He thought for a moment, “You can’t sleep because you don’t feel safe,” he murmured and you heaved a sigh, your head dropping before you forced yourself to raise it again, making a face.

“I’ve never tried peach lotion before, it smells nice…” you mused, your gaze fixed on the wall while the black spots flew in your vision “Have you ever tried it? Also hypothetically speaking, what happens if you eat lotion? Like do you think—“

“Y/N,” his clear voice shot through the haze again, “Sweetheart, look at me.”

If you weren’t too goddamn tired, the pet name would make you snap out of it and even give you a spark of hope, but you could barely concentrate on what was happening.

“Can you do something for me?” he asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, anything.”

“Lie down.” he said and you pulled your brows together.

“Why?”

“We’ll try something,” he said, stealing a look outside to the reception crawling with agents before turning to you as you curled up on the couch, still holding the tissue tight in your hand, your eyes getting heavy the minute your head hit the small pillow.

“What are we trying?” you managed to ask through the fog and he smiled softly.

“Close your eyes, for thirty seconds,” he said, “Just focus on your breathing. I’m right here, okay? Can you do that for me?”

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath, counting in your head.

You didn’t even reach fifteen before the sleep surrounded you.

                                                      ***

You were pulled away from the bliss when someone shook you by the shoulder gently.

“Y/N,” Erica’s voice reached you, “Y/N, wake up.”

You opened your eyes groggily, frowning. It was already dark outside and there was nearly no one in the office except for her and you. You attempted to sit up but stopped as soon as Spencer’s cologne filled your nostrils and you looked down at the jacket covering you.

He must’ve left his jacket on you while you slept in order to keep you from getting cold.

You could feel the small spark of peace shooting through you, the warmth spreading through your veins as you hugged the jacket tighter around your body and cleared your throat.

“What time is it?”

“Eight,” she shot you a small smile, “Um, everyone left and I figured you’d get a stiff back if you sleept on the couch any longer.”

“Erica,” you said, “You didn’t have to stay.”

“Come on, I wouldn’t leave you here alone after today,” she said, “Besides, I told that tall handsome agent that I’d drive you home. His team was called back to the FBI, some clue or whatever.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it, I’d be a lousy assistant if I didn’t.”

“No, I mean—“ you swallowed thickly, “Thank you. It means more than you know to me.”

She grinned at you as you grabbed your purse and both of you made your way to the elevator.

“So I take it there’s no goth boyfriend but…” she said as the elevator went down, “Maybe a tall handsome flirt?”

“We broke up,” you murmured and she scoffed.

“Yeah no.”

You blinked a couple of times, “Erica, I’m pretty sure we broke up. I was there—“

“No I mean,” she huffed while you left the elevator to approach her car, “I have a talent to sense these sort of things you see. He doesn’t look at you like you broke up, and that jacket over you certainly doesn’t say you broke up.”

You got in the car with her and she started it.

“Is it because of your dad?” she asked you and your head shot up.

“What? How did you-?”

“It’s a small office, people talk,” she said as if apologizing, “But don’t worry, we all know that’s not the kind of person you are. I even had a fight with my boyfriend about it, but I told him that I knew you, you would never be able to do something like that. He was like you don’t know what people are capable of and I was like well...”

You were way too tired to answer her, so you let her talk about the time how she was great at sensing people’s true motives and how her boyfriend thought you were capable of murder while you sat in her car as she drove you to your place. You thanked her, your mind still fuzzy with sleep and made your way to your apartment.

After checking if all five locks were in their places and counting them in your head, you kicked off your heels and made your way to the fridge to get the bottle of whiskey. You took a swig of it and went to the couch, turning on the TV and leaning back to the soft cushions. You slowly took the jacket off and pulled it over your body, closing your eyes and inhaling his scent.

Maybe you could just imagine that you two were together, just for tonight.

You managed to distract yourself for a couple of hours, just sitting there and staring at the TV, barely paying attention to what was playing. By the time it was midnight, you had reached the half of the bottle and looked down at your phone for a couple of seconds before finding his name in the contacts.

You didn’t have to wait for long, and for once it didn’t go to voice mail.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” you smiled, “Um… is the truce still on? Or should I— should I hang up?”

“No,” he said almost too quickly, “No, don’t. We have today, don’t we? Might as well use the truce until the end.”

“Okay,” you whispered, “Thanks, by the way. For today. I can imagine how hard it is for you—“

“No,” his voice was soft, “No you really can’t.”

A silence fell upon you and you grabbed a tissue, wiping at your eyes,

“Professor?”

“Hm?”

“What does science say about heartbreak? Hypothetically speaking?”

“About heartbreak?”

“Yeah.”

He cleared his throat, “Considering the stimulation that increases dopamine and-“

“In a way that I will understand while I’m half drunk?”

“Addiction.”

You pulled back to look at the phone, “Addiction?”

“You know the areas of your brain that are active when you’re in love? Those areas are also active when you use…well, you name it. Cocaine. Drugs. Nicotine.”

“So that means heartbreak means-“

“Withdrawals,” he finished your sentence for you, “Exactly.”

You grabbed another tissue from the box on the coffee table, wiping at your nose.

“Spencer, what if it goes on like this forever?” you rasped out, “This whole heartbreak. What if I feel like this forever? What if I… What if I’m like seventy and I still—“

Love you.

“Miss you,” you changed your mind mid-sentence, “What if I’m old and gray and still using your jacket as a blanket?”

“That’s what you’re doing right now?”

“Yeah,” you murmured, “Pathetic right?”

“I recorded that show you liked and still can’t bring myself to delete it,” he admitted, “I don’t even watch it, it’s just there. You sure you want to talk about pathetic with me?”

You let out a bitter laugh, “Nah, still no competition professor. I still call you whenever I’m drunk, remember? You’re handling this way better than me, you still have your dignity.”

“I saw a fridge magnet in a store a week ago and I actually walked in there to buy it before I remembered I couldn’t give it to you,” he paused, “I’m not handling anything, Y/N. I’m a mess, it’s like…”

You held your breath, waiting for him to continue.

“You took something with you on your way out,” he said slowly, “And I don’t know what to do with what’s left, to be honest.”

“My chest actually hurts when I see you, you know?” you murmured, “And I still haven’t deleted the pictures.”

“Me neither.”

You picked at the tissue in your hand, “So much for Dante and Beatrice huh?”

“All things considered, they’d handle it worse than us.”

“I doubt anyone could handle it worse than us, professor.”

“No think about it,” he said, “We had….we had each other, at least. They didn’t technically lose each other, because they were never together.”

“It’s still romantic.”

“Dante saw Beatrice twice in his life,” he told you, “Once when they were nine, once when they were both adults. Twice in his whole life. Ignore the poems, what would you do if a guy you saw when you were nine showed up years and years later, proclaiming his undying love for you?”

“Call the police?” you said, making him chuckle.

“There you go.”

“When you put romanticism aside, Beatrice should’ve gotten a restraining order.”

“They didn’t have those back then, Y/N.”

You let out a small giggle, “Yeah yeah…” you murmured, “So what does that mean then? We’re more tragic than Dante and Beatrice?”

He sniffled and cleared his throat, “Yeah,” he said, “I think that’s what it means.”

You could feel the tears burning your eyes, “It’s not going to get easier, is it?” you croaked out after almost a minute of silence and he thought for a moment.

“I don’t think so,” he said, “Not for me anyway.”

“Not for me either,” you murmured and wiped at your eyes with the back of your hand, burying your nose to the collar of his jacket draped over you.

If you closed your eyes, maybe it would stop hurting this much. You touched your screen to get to your gallery, then found your picture together, both of you smiling at the camera, unaware of the heartbreak that would hit you both very soon.

“Good night Dante,” you whispered and Spencer exhaled a shaky breath, as if he was craving the addictive high of your presence as much as you did his.

“Good night Beatrice.”

Chapter 20

[princeescaluswords]

"Boyd and Erica were foolish and stupid to believe there was another pack out there!1" Maybe they *were* naive, but remember folks, they were TEENAGERS and who's fault is it that they weren't aware? Derek's. He canonically did not tell people about the Alpha Pack. He didn't teach his betas about the "sun, moon and truth" meditation in favor of medieval devices to restrain them. As much as apologists deride Scott not listening to Derek.... Derek was never exactly forthcoming with knowledge and information. He didn't mentor him. He menaced and threatened and broke arms and phones before yeeting into the distance. He never sat people down and calmly explained anything. He's supposed to be the experienced born werewolf, but you wouldn't know it from how he acted. Kinda shady if you ask me

There is nothing like a Derek Hale Apologist. A particularly shameless example happened on another one of my posts. A defender claimed that Derek's point in Wolf Moon (1x01) was to comfort Scott. Because when I want to comfort someone, I steal his party date's jacket to lure him out into the middle of the woods, instead of -- I don't know -- talking to him any of the two days prior to the party while I was stalking him to find out about the party. Or talking to him at the party. Or following him after I see him leave the party in distress.

We all know that Derek wasn't trying to help Scott in the first season. He was trying to use Scott to find the alpha who killed his sister, until he found it was his uncle, after which he turned on Scott like buttermilk under a sunlamp.

And he kept using children, just as Kate used him. His Season One behavior is nothing compared to what he did to his own betas and tried, once again, to do with Scott. There are two scenes that bookend Season Two and underline, without a doubt, that Derek was a scumbag villain.

The first is from Omega (2x01):

Derek: Look. Look. Look at them! You see what they do? This is why you need me. Why we need each other. The only way to fight them is together.

Scott: What are they doing?

Derek: Declaring war.

The second is from Master Plan (2x12):

Peter: Why do you think Derek was in such a hurry to build his pack? So eager to strengthen his power and his number? When there's a new Alpha, people take notice.

Isaac: People like who? What is this? What does this mean?

Derek: It's their symbol. And it means they're coming.

There is no wiggle room here for Derek-stans. Derek understood that the Argents were going to come after him, so he bit Jackson, Isaac, Erica, and Boyd to have soldiers with which to fight them. He tried to convince Scott to join his pack as well, even though, according to Peter, Derek knew the Alpha Pack was coming and, as we saw in Unleashed (3x04), he knew that Deucalion would try to get him to kill his own pack.

Think about what that means.

There's a reason that Derek is a villain in Season Two. He was willing to risk the lives of teenagers for power, and it doesn't matter if he wanted power to assuage his fear and loneliness. He didn't have a plan to stop the Argents. He didn't have a plan to stop the Alpha Pack. He just didn't want to be alone, and if Jackson got turned into someone's puppet-lizard-killer and Erica and Boyd died, well, those are prices Derek was willing to pay.

The same commentator said that it was unfair to blame Derek for what Jackson did as a kanima because Jackson begged to become one. Let me give you an analogy. If a sixteen-year-old boy begs me, a 53-year-old man, to buy him a bottle of whiskey and then turns around and plows his car into an SUV because he was driving drunk, I share some of the responsibility don't I? Or, here's a better analogy, if I know that this 16-year-old boy is emotionally immature -- like Derek pegged Jackson in Co-Captain (1x10) -- and angry and I give him an automatic weapon with which he shoots up his school, do I not share some of the responsibility? It doesn't really matter if I'm 53 or 22, does it? To quote Chris Argent in Raving (2x08): "What you know makes you responsible."

Even if, as I suspect, Derek-stans didn't pay enough attention to that while the characters were played by adult actors, they were clearly intended to be teenagers, but even if they weren't, Derek knew what was coming and they didn't. He knew what Gerard intended, he knew what the Alpha Pack would do, he wasn't surprised by their violence or the danger they posed for his pack. He didn't tell any of his victims how much danger they would be in, and he didn't do that by accident. As Boyd said in Battlefield (2x11) "You didn't say it would be like this!"

There's a reason Derek didn't have time to teach them control but he did have time to run combat drills. His plan was to use his betas to fight his wars for him. He had a pretty good idea what they were going to face with the Argents and the Alpha Pack, just as he had a pretty good idea what he thought was going to happen when he believed Jackson was rejecting the Bite and ghosted on him for three episodes.

What. You. Know. Makes. You. Responsible.

Derek was a villain. He was just as much a villain as Gerard Argent and Deucalion, because he put what he wanted above the lives of people who didn't know any better. As I've said before, I love Derek's redemption arc, but redemption arcs require something to be redeemed from, and there's no getting around that.

No amount of gotcha games and whataboutism or declarations of love for a hot white woobie is going to change that.

[christinesficrecs]

Lost Fics 2021 Part 1

The LONGER list is here  but these are the more recent lost fics. 

- the first words your soulmate says to you appear on your skin a little while before you meet them. In the fic stiles doesn't notice the words until they'd been there for a while and doesn't realize when he meets his soul mate. I think there's a side ship of Scott/Issac/Allison. 

- Stiles is in love with Derek, but it's unrequited so he sucks it up and gets over it when he moves away for college and has a string of relationships - then Derek falls in love with him and pines for like years. At the end something curses them so they see each other's memories? and there's this moving end scene where they cry all over each other that I read like 20 times. 

- It’s a very slow burn where stiles and Derek once they decide to be together, wait until 18 for kissing (before that they do Eskimo kisses) and then to like 21 or something for sex. It’s really sweet and cute and stiles is understanding of his trauma. Is it Home? I don’t think so, but, if you know, I will love you forever and ever +1.

- magical gender swapped derek fic and in it he hits on stiles and he goes by deryn or something and stiles recognises its derek because derek flirts the same snarky way and uses the same pick up lines and then they have dinner, have sex and i remember that at the end of the first chapter stiles texts derek saying they haven't hung out in a while and he thinks that he wants to know if dereks dick is as sensitive as his clit, something round those lines

- The 'plot' so to speak, is that werewolves are in positions of power and expose their existence to enslave the human race. Alpha Derek had his eyes on human Stiles who is hiding and trying to fight back against the wolves. Derek turns him omega by biting and mating him

- Lost fic mutant every body and it’s the second in the series I think they go to a lake house I love your blog soooo much

- Stiles gives out wrong numbers to people who he's slept with, one of those numbers belong to derek an malia. Either theo/matt messages derek thinking he's stiles an sending dick pics and when he tells them they have the wrong number and has to send a picrure as proof, they start hitting on him. Now he goes in search of stiles by texting different variations of his number where he finds malia an learns she also gets messages looking for stiles. 

- a fic where I think peter was the alpha but Derek starts looking to stiles as his alpha?

- find me this fic cause I did not save it but its called North and South and I remember it being a regency fic.

- Derek left BH and stiles went after him,They end up together but then Derek got scared of feelings so Stiles starts dating Malia. I remember that Stiles was out with the others and Derek texts him "come to the loft" or something bc he was sorry and came back for him

- where stiles comes back to Bacon hills when the sheriff gets shot and in coma. Derek is the alpha of hale pack 2.0 and everyone is alive..including hale family.. Scott invites stiles to Derek's bday party and everyone misunderstood him as a prostitue. Stiles was in an abusive relationship before he meets the pack.. 

- with single dad derek (I think of two kids). They live in a cabine. Stiles breaks his car not far from their house. At some point, Stiles steals money from the kids' school if I remember well? 

- derek's moved away, and it starts with stiles running from danger and he casts a spell to teleport to safety and ends up teleporting to derek. there's a scene after they return back to beacon hills where stiles gets angry and sets a table on fire..

- stiles is a slave and I think a thief? and at the end Derek takes him somewhere and frees him and stiles thinks it’s anticlimactic or simple or something, just a signature and he’s free. They walk out and Derek is worried he’s going to leave him now that he’s not his slave but then they walk into the market or something along those lines together.

- low self esteem /insecure derek theme where he thinks that stiles doesn't love him back .possibly stiles thinks the same for derek. But there's a party(i think) and derek gets drunk and they talk it out and then 'Derek can't believe its real so he lines up his 10 fingers with Stiles'. 

- stiles was a vampire, and his sire was trying to kill derek and his pack, and stiles was supposed to be the next in line or something like that, there was like a whole battle scene, and i remember that stiles was occasionally hooking up with a demon??

- Stiles works in a book (?) shop and someone in the pack gets into trouble with witches I think. Stiles and Derek meet when he goes into the Hale coffee shop and Derek realizes Stiles is his mate but doesn’t like that he smells like other wolves on him so he gets all possessive. Stiles doesn’t drink coffee, only tea, and Derek wants to give him good coffee. 

- (I think) derek is the alpha and the pack (Boyd and Erica) are still alive and I think Peter is okay by the end, there’s a scene where stiles is in the hospital and the pack is weirded out by the age difference in sterek and Peter is like what are you on about derek is 19? And the pack is like what?! All this time you’ve been giving speeches about irresponsible teenagers we thought you were like 30 but you are also a teenager!!

[brainfingerprints]

The Death of Jeremiah Duggan

The Death of Jeremiah Duggan

Jeremiah Duggan was a British student studying at the Sorbonne in Paris who died during a visit to Wiesbaden, Germany, after being struck by several cars on a dual carriageway. Duggan’s cause of death became heavily disputed due to his behavior in the days leading up to the fatal accident. He expressed fear about his involvement in a cult-like movement organized by political activist Lyndon LaRouche. 

The Movement

The LaRouche movement is a political movement associated with the promotion of conspiracy theories, the promotion of violence against opponents, and antisemitism. The movement in Germany of which Duggan became part is represented by the Schiller Institute and the Bürgerrechtsbewegung Solidarität party. Jeremiah was part of the Schiller Institue at the time of his death. 

Jeremiah’s initial involvement with the LaRouche Movement began when he attended a conference that he believed was in protest against the Iraq War. What he heard instead were conspiratorial views that stated George W. Bush was a drunk, Woodrow Wilson had founded the Ku Klux Klan, John F. Kennedy was killed by a domestic American operation, and Jewish Americans began the Iraq war. A document from the Metropolitan Police stated that "Jeremiah's lecture notes and bulletins showed the anti-Semitic nature of [the] ideology." 

Duggan stood out at the conference particularly because he was Jewish. When Duggan made his religion known during the conference, he was apparently grilled about his affiliation with the religion. 

Leading up to his Death

On Tuesday, the 25th of March, Duggan and his girlfriend had planned to meet in Paris, but he called her and told her that he couldn’t make it until Sunday and that “very serious things” were going on, which he would tell her about when they met up. 

On Wednesday, the 26th of March, he and other members of the institute handed out flyers in Frankfurt, then went to the Städel Museum. When one of the other members of his group asked him about a painting, he allegedly began crying, telling her he wanted to leave the group but felt he was trapped. She last saw him sitting on the steps of the museum around 8:30 p.m.

On the day of his death, Thursday, the 27th of March, around 4:00 a.m. he called his girlfriend, allegedly agitated and speaking very quietly. He stated he no longer knew what was “true” or “real” and that someone was allegedly conducting experiments on him. She told him to take a train to Paris the next morning. Around 5:00 a.m. he then called his mother saying that he was in “big trouble” and said he “wanted out.” 

According to his roommate, Duggan then went out for a cigarette and after his roommate accidentally pressed a doorbell instead of the light switch, he ran off down the street. 

The Incident

Around 6:00 a.m, Duggan allegedly ran out into the street “with outstretched arms” and was clipped by a car. He fell but appeared to get back up and run back into traffic. Around 6:15 a.m. a driver reported Duggan running in front of his car “arms raised and mouth open.” The car then ran over Duggan who was pronounced dead at the scene. 

German police concluded that Duggan had committed suicide after running several kilometers from the apartment in which he had been staying, then jumping in front of early-morning traffic. It is important to note that this highway was also close to LaRouche’s political headquarters in Germany. 

The German police did not conduct an autopsy, because the cause of death had been established as suicide with no apparent evidence of foul play. His clothes were never returned to his family. The police took no formal witness statements. 

Jeremiah’s mother, Erica, continued fighting for a proper investigation into her son’s death and in 2010, an inquest was ordered to investigate potential foul play. 

At this inquest, forensic photographic expert, Paul Canning, said after examining pictures from the scene, "the only possible conclusion is that it must have been a set-up".

Canning stated, “After making a lengthy examination of the photographs I conclude that, in examining the scene of the accident, the road, Jeremiah's body and both vehicles involved, I could find no traces of blood, hair, tissue or clothing on the vehicles or road, except round the immediate vicinity of Jeremiah's body."

Jeremiah’s father, Hugo, told the inquest a witness had informed the family about a scene at the Schiller Institute following Jeremiah’s death in which  Helga Zepp-LaRouche addressed the members present. She stated, 'Jeremiah Duggan is dead, we believe he was a spy sent to harm the organization. I would like you to pack up and go home right away. Don't talk among yourselves about this and don't talk to others."

On their official website for Jeremiah, The Duggan family writes, “There are no words to describe the amount of pain and suffering that Lyndon LaRouche caused. His work for many years ruined lives, destroyed families, broke up marriages, incited hatred, spread destructive anti-Semitic conspiracy theories and sowed the seeds of hate throughout the world.”

Lyndon LaRouche died in 2019 and the family is hopeful that with his death, more witnesses to Jeremiah’s experiences might come forward. You can find the Duggans’ website here. You can learn more about the LaRouche Movement here and here. 

[ohshutupjimin]

Dull Meanings & Hidden Treasure ~ Kim Taehyung

I pouted, my arms crossing against my chest. I didn’t want to go to that party in that club. I didn’t want to have my feet aching for hours because of heels I couldn’t walk in. I didn’t want my ears to bleed by music that I had no interest in, playing at an unreasonable volume.

But yet here I was, watching myself and my best friend check our names outside with the bodyguard ticking them off- instantly bringing me back to high school days of registration. Oh, how badly I’d take another day of school than to be here, a place I so passionately hate.

The music was practically shaking the whole building and the line to get in was a whole nother story. People were lined up outside and there was bound to be even more people inside. Do people actually like these kinds of things?

He pulls the rope and we finally enter, yet all I’m up for is doing a u-turn and finding myself back in my comfort zone. But I’m with Erica, and that’s a definite no, no. When she wants something, she’ll get it. Her persistence and stubbornness redeems itself by her kindness.

So eventually we find ourselves one with the crowd and I only find my hatred for this club to grow even more. It’s packed for starters, everyone is like packed sardines, very claustrophobic. The lights are not even worthy to describe. It’s utter pain. Continuous laser beams flickering everywhere, I was bound to become blind.

Erica glanced my way, nudging me. “Oh come on. Liven up will you?” I grimace, that’s the least thing I want. “I’ll get drinks. After one drink, you’ll be flying through the night.” And before I could speak, she scurried into the crowd and I’m a complete nervous wreck.

She scurried away, somewhere through the crowd, and I feel the nerves awfully build up in my stomach. I was never a party maniac, hell, I hated the thoughts of parties let alone being in one. Which made me feel even more unpleasant about even standing in one.

Eventually I just close my eyes and wish for the night to be over. To be at home and in the arms of my boyfriend. That way I felt more safe than ever.

But the sound of the heavy music seemed to increase and my eyes shot back open. My ears, my heart, my soul. I’m going to die. How was it possible to dance when your heart was practically weighing your body down.

I glanced back into the crowd, a little nauseous when I saw a man pouring his whole drink down his body. Immediately pouncing my mind to Erica. Where was she with the drinks? Is she okay? My mind bobbled into anxiety.

Breath, just breath.

I glance over in front of me and suddenly it’s as if everything around me has entirely vanished. Taehyung. I see him walking in the crowd. He looks amazing, his beautiful body shining against the light's reflections. His eyes elsewhere, he hasn’t noticed me yet and my heart seemingly sinks. What is he even doing here?

Mindlessly, I follow after him.

He’s my boyfriend, of course I have too. I know nothing is wrong, but just for clarification. I need to know what exactly he’s doing and why he’s even here. Didn’t he tell me he was visiting his father’s house for the weekend?

If so, why was he here?

My mind wrapped in thoughts made me lose him in sight. For sure he couldn’t have gone far, it wasn’t a huge night club after all. I tried to blur out the people and the lights, my eyes scanning for his luscious red hair that can be instantly recognized from a mile away and I did surprisingly. I found him just about to turn a corner that I immediately followed.

It led me to the stairs that were accompanied by drunk and intoxicated people, kissing each other and smoking, clearly when there was a no smoking sign right next to them.

Without thinking much, I proceeded to be Sherlock Holmes, maneuvering up the stairs and into the dusty dark hallway. There were doors left and right that followed up the corridor. There were still some people smooching nearby but that didn’t affect me. What did was how I lost complete sight of Taehyung and judging that he did come up here- there was simply no other way to go- he had to be in one of these rooms.

That sudden thought clenched my heart.

As shameful and embarrassing as this was, I had to do what was right. I pressed my ear to each door, trying to listen for something peculiar that could lead me to Taehyung. Perhaps I was just overthinking. Taehyung said he was with his dad, I couldn’t possibly think otherwise. I trusted him. He was my love and I adored him. Maybe I just missed him so much, I seemingly just had imagined him.

Why was I so in love with this man?

But even so, I continued on. If I knew Taehyung wasn’t here, then I’d have nothing to worry about. He was with his family and I had nothing to stress about.

Only until I got to the last door, my heart dropped, the pain in my chest swarming up and the anger gushing through my veins began. I knew it. I slammed the door carelessly open, my eyes shooting daggers to the two people. They were naked, touching each other as if they’d never seen skin before. Their lips tangled into oblivion- too immersed to even notice my presence.

My fists clenched, my eyes burning alive, my nails digging into my flesh. “You fucking assholes!”

They both gasped, abruptly getting off each other and facing me with the most shocked faces ever. “It-it’s not.. It’s not what it looks like.” Taehyung stuttered, vaguely aware that he completely messed up.

I let out a raspy laugh. “What the fuck is it supposed to look like then?” I roll my eyes, tears gathering up, “from what I can see you just had a one night stand in front of my own two eyes, Taehyung!” My voice wavers a bit.

He bits his lip nervously, trying to stand up, putting his boxers on. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t hav-”

“Yeah you shouldn’t have,” I bitterly smiled. “But you did.”

“Why?” I sigh brokenly out, a rainfall on my face. He looks away, avoiding eye contact. “I don’t know.” He said apologetically, his eyes awfully aware that he hurt me.

I just found my boyfriend cheating on me. My instincts were correct. I was correct. He didn’t love me. He loved himself. Too selfish and stubborn to share a moment or reminisce about me or how I would feel when he does these kinds of things.

“Did you always do this?” My voice croaked, he looked down.

“Sometimes, yeah.” I sucked in a breath, nodding. The girl behind him was definitely unaware of what was going on nor who I even was, but I didn’t give two shits anyway.

“Was I not enough for you?” His head shot up, locking his gaze with my blurry ones.

“No, don’t ever say that.” He walked closer, “you were perfect, still are perfect. You helped me when I needed you, when I was completely washed away. You brought me back. Your smile- God your smile,” he grins almost imagining me, “everytime I made you laugh, I felt like I won the lottery.”

He carried on, caressing my cheek dazedly. “Your lips were like my cure, my medicine. When my family abandoned me, you took care of me. Kissed me, touched me, loved me. A love I was so immersed in that I seemingly became oblivious to.” He sighed, having trouble to say it, “nights like these, I poured myself into liquor and intoxicated myself. For what reason? No reason. That’s the strange thing. I don’t even know why I did it- why I still do it.”

I looked up, tears falling from his eyes. He was reflecting and trying to redeem himself by truthfully speaking from his heart instead of his mind. “Even so, I loved you every single bit. I still entirely do.” He looked away. My breath taken away, “but I understand if you want to leave me, I won’t stop you.

My heart was aching, I had never been so emotional before. I just found him cheating on me, which was going on for a long time now and yet my heart still yearns for him. Especially now that he’s just as heart broken as me, reminiscing on where he had gone astray and how poisonous it was.

“Leave me.” He mutters, “leave me before it’s too late and I do it again.” I hiccup a cry, “I can’t leave you.” I cup his face in my hands. I get it, he did wrong but he told the truth, he owned up to where he had sinned and I respect that.

“You owned up Taehyung, you could have lied to my face blatantly but you didn’t.” I caressed his eyes, leaning into my touch.

“No,” my breath hitches, “leave me, I’m not the person you fell in love with. I’m different, I’ll ruin you.” He holds onto my hands on his face, “please my love, let me go.”

My heart thumps against my chest, yearning to reach him but he doesn’t let me. Instead he pushes me away, kissing my forehead one last time before turning his back against me and closing the door completely shut.

I let my tears fall again and again, staring aimlessly at the door. My fist banging against it, yelling, screaming his name yet no justice was to be found. I actually lost my love, my world, my heart and my everything.

It was so easy to let him slide away, but it was so difficult to watch him return to his obsessive game.

Kim Taehyung, you’ll pay for this.

[trailerparkbubbs]

Hi hello I need to talk more about my feelings on Julian interacting with animals because I think it’s a very underrated element of his character.

So, we know that Ricky and Bubbles are both big animal lovers – Ricky has Orangie and Willie Goat and the Raykins, and of course Bubbles has his kitties, and they’re both very verbal about how much they love their respective pets. For Bubbles especially it’s a major part of his character.

However, the way that Julian interacts with animals is very understated, almost like it’s an afterthought. He’s often even doing something else at the time, or someone else is holding an animal and Julian absentmindedly reaches over and pets it. 

In a way, it’s actually kind of similar to how he’s always holding his drink? Like, Julian is holding a drink in every scene because when JP Tremblay started acting he didn’t know what to do with his hands, and the solution was to give him a character detail that gave him something simple to always do with his hands while also making it a funny running joke. The scenes, especially in the early seasons, where Julian is holding an animal feel similar to me – just something for JP to do with his hands.

Like, look at this. He’s listening to his answering machine, he’s drinking his drink, and also he just happens to be holding this dog, no big deal. 

It totally makes sense for Julian’s character, of course; he’s the calm, rational one. I mean, sure – Bubbles is often rational and Ricky is often calm (well... maybe not often but sometimes) but Julian has to be the straightman to both of them. This is especially true in the early seasons, before they changed his characterization to be more greedy and ambitious.

Also in the early seasons (and throughout the show, but it’s very prominent early on) we see Julian as a sort of natural caretaker. He keeps Ricky out of trouble, he keeps Bubbles from getting too anxious (most of the time), and he’s sort of the guardian of the whole park. We see it again in season seven with Jacob, where Julian realizes that this guy is emulating him and seems to genuinely care about him and goes out of his way to be friendly and keep him safe as much as possible. It’s also the reason Erica is attracted to him – she sees that he genuinely loves everyone in the park and would do anything for them.

So, the way Julian interacts with pets as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, as if he was meant to always be holding a pet (and the fact that he’s often actually physically holding it, not just petting it or talking to it) reflects this. His body language is sort of casually protective – he sees an animal and immediately wraps it up in his arms and then just continues to hold it while he carries on with his life.

And it’s like... very comforting to see? Like, look at this cat, just hanging out, having a rest, totally at ease. Julian isn’t working overtime to try and convince this cat to come play with him; neither he or the cat is putting a ton of energy into this. It’s just super low key, just Julian and a cat, doing a talking head.

It sort of allows Julian to maintain an air of dignity while also humanizing him; we see him being affectionate with random animals, we see him clearly thinking like “this cat is too adorable not to pet right now, even if I’m in the middle of something”, we see him being very gentle and caring – but at the same time, he’s totally poised and he’s still very much the articulate, intelligent adult in any given situation. He still feels like someone we should respect.

Of course, they break this several times in the series, because once you’ve built up a character who needs to be composed and in command at all times, you’ve gotta put them in some positions where they are not at all composed and in command. Probably the most jarring example is this sequence:

(For reference, this is where Julian finds out Ricky has sold all his furniture while he was in jail, as well as doing various illegal activity in his name, decides to leave the park, gets super drunk on swish, hangs out with Randy, and ends up wasted in a back alley until Erica discovers him and tells Ricky and Bubbles)

Julian is still trying to do his normal thing here where he’s picking up the dog and holding it, but he’s much less casual about it than normal, and the dog doesn’t really fit into his arms as well. He’s also dancing around with it and talking to it in a slightly manic way. It’s got a very different vibe from how he normally interacts with animals, which is congruent with the fact that this is the furthest from himself that we’ve seen Julian until this point – and arguably after.

Also in that same episode is this:

This is closer to normal – definitely more subdued – but it’s still a little off. Julian is at his lowest point here; he’s sitting on the ground, defeated, pretty much hopeless. It feels less like he’s protecting and taking care of the dog, and more like the dog is trying to take care of him, or like he’s trying to help calm himself down by petting it. Of course, I may be reading too much into that, but I’m writing a veritable essay on Julian interacting with animals, so I think I’m already well past the point of reading too much into things.

I think it’s very interesting that they choose to have him interacting with a dog in this sequence – I remember when I was watching it for the first time thinking to myself “Is that dog just there for JP’s benefit? It feels like they just brought a dog in so JP could pet a dog.” It really has no bearing on the plot at all. However, it’s a really good illustration of the mini arc Julian goes through in this episode – seeing the difference in how he interacts with animals allows us to see the difference in what he’s feeling and how he’s acting, without filtering it through the lens of him interacting with a specific character. 

Anyways tl;dr Julian interacting with animals makes me feel very happy and safe, and I like how his interactions with animals are generally understated and calm. Thanks @heyodaddio​ for telling me which episodes Julian interacts with animals in so I could make this post.