sanjuwrites

[sanjuwrites]

this is such an unbelievable scene because there's two realizations happening simultaneously:

eddie is having the realization that he was never really alone through this whole ordeal and there has always been a we with him and buck.

while on the other hand, buck is having the realization that in the end he truly always just ends up back where he started. alone.

[sanjuwrites]

okay im still thinking about the tablet thing. buck gave that whole little speech about having privacy in your own home and then he went: But Not From Me.

because buck is the exception!!! he's always been the exception!!!

[sanjuwrites]

not even God himself can understand all the feelings I'm going through trying to process the seeds of Buddie canon we just got and i think that is so beautiful <3

[sanjuwrites]

im seriously dying thinking about buck right now. he loves eddie so much he is willing to let him go. number 1 one clinger number one settler he loves him so much he is trying to let him go. i am going to explode

[sanjuwrites]

i just. eddie flipped over the tablet because he KNEW that buck seeing him looking for a new home would hurt buck tremendously. eddie knows exactly who buck is and he tried to protect him for a little while longer and he never wants to hurt him :(

[sanjuwrites]

BUDDIE STANS RISE UP WE ACTUALLY NEVER LOSE???

gonna be thinking about that look on bucks face until march like buddie is absolutely coming let’s fuckING GOOO

[sanjuwrites]

can we move on from this cop storyline please 😭😭😭

[sanjuwrites]

the shot and the rescue

[sanjuwrites]

okay, i'm having a lot of thoughts and feelings regarding the episode last night and tarlos's big fight last night. i'm genuinely floored at how tk chose to handle the situation with jonah and carlos's emotions in the subsequent scenes, and it really does not sit right with me the way tk continued to ignore and cross all the boundaries and lines of their marriage they drew.

the urge to want to take care of your little brother, i get it. tk's done inherently no wrong by wanted to adopt his little brother, but the way he's gone about the whole thing is frankly unfathomable. There was no conversation to be had, tk just jumped straight into figuring out how to bring jonah "home," and did not actually have any actual feasible thought into doing this.

the issue is not that carlos doesn't like children, or that he doesn't think that he couldn't be a good father if he committed to being one, it's that he doesn't think he can commit to being a father while his life is so in flux. and he's told tk this, before his father died. so, it's not a hard jump to understand that carlos is feeling more out of his depth than ever, and that he literally isn't ready.

the way carlos continued to go above and beyond to find a middle ground for the two of them to settle on, to call timeout and just be, and tk repeatedly was so cold in a way he wasn't even during the breakup era in season 3, is just. yeah.

i hope this isn't just something they gloss over miraculously by carlos finding his dad's killer and this is just never talked about again and they adopt jonah, because this warrants a conversation.

[sanjuwrites]

mr. 'puts partner's name on lease without asking' and mr. 'tries to find adoption attorney without asking' really are destined for each other huh

[sanjuwrites]

literally i’m gonna unpack this fully in the morning but legitimately tk completely fucked this whole thing is, to an almost unfathomable level, and genuinely crossed several boundaries.

[sanjuwrites]

i need tk to take a real hard look at himself right now what the actual fuck was that 😐😐😐

carlos, i love you so so so so so dearly.

[sanjuwrites]

oh that’s not! that was a choice!

[sanjuwrites]

Every day here means losing someone you love. Imagine losing someone you love, someone from your family, and you can't do anything to save them. This is our reality now.

The pain is indescribable, and the famine is eating away at what's left of our souls. We are in Gaza, where the war is merciless, where I lost most of my family... A few of us are still fighting to survive.

If you can help, even with five euros, you are saving a life. Please, any small support makes a difference. And if you can't, just sharing this message or following me might make our voices heard by those who can.

👉Please help me and donate here

This is a humanitarian appeal, from the heart of pain to your hearts.

[sanjuwrites]

quick what is everyone doing right now

[sanjuwrites]

“who’s gonna hug him” is the tk strand thesis