#WHAT IF YOU HAD TO WIPE YOUR BEST FRIEND'S MEMORIES AND SAY GOODBYE AND GET BRUSHED OFF BECAUSE THERE IS NOT A SPARK OF RECOGNITION IN HER

[velichorus-k]

JOURNEY'S END WHAT. WHAT. WHAT WAS THAT. FUCK OFF

[levilaughlove]

☁️► Heads up : M x m romance, cheating/disloyalty, mentions of emotional abuse, manipulation & gaslighting. Reader is taller than Levi by 3 in. Mentions of mental breakdowns & indecent language & ofc, smut.🗞 > Chapter 1 .

""Is this really how low you think of me?", Is what she asked me, Levi, am I the issue?" Your broken voice explains the situation to your longtime best friend, Levi Ackerman.

"I know I shouldn't have came to her like that..I should've been softer." You continued, only lower this time. "You did what you felt was right." Levi finally says. "How much kinder can you be to that self-absorbed bitch? She's drained all of your energy." He adds, hyperfocusing on your sleep-deprived eyes.

"If I showed you photos of what you looked like before you met her, you'd be astonished." He snarls.

"I know you're upset with her but, she is my wife." You defend. "Your wife or your disease?" You chuckle at his snappy remark.

The two of you sit in comfortable silence until your phone begins to vibrate. The device lights up revealing an incoming call. Levi sighs at the name on screen.

"How fucking convenient..." Levi murmurs. You gaze at him pleadingly & he whisps his hand through the air as a sign to answer it. You pick up the phone & accept the call.

"Hello?" You ask.

A muffled female voice could be heard from the other line. She doesn't sound too happy.

Levi's gray eyes glare at the phone ,then, rolls his eyes and falls back onto the bed. "A-alright, (f/n), I'll be home soon. Bye-bye." You quickly end the call.

"What did it say?" Levi asks unenthusiastically. "It? Levi, I know you don't like her but, please..." "I don't care, that's how she treats you, what makes her any better?" He quickly adds. You couldn't argue that.

Levi stares at you with an unexplainable expression in his eyes. "Before you think about going off anywhere, at least eat. She can wait 30 minutes." He says, arising from the bed & leaving the room. You follow quickly behind.

"I've got lots of options, mozzy sticks, mac & cheese, I can make you an egg & bacon sandwich.." He continues. "Egg & bacon sounds nice..." You accept shyly. Levi hums & begins to get the items.

While you waited, you began to think. You were so grateful that Levi still takes care of you, even after all these years. You reminisce on your favorite memory of him. It was bittersweet ,but the love & care you had for one another was evident. You were 4, Levi was 7 & he was moving far from your shared hometown. You were his closest friend & he was yours. On the bridge could be seen young you clinging onto Levi tightly with tears in your innocent eyes. Levi tried to keep a stone face even then but couldn't help how his heart felt.

" I'll be back, this isn't forever...pea. Stop crying.." Levi's voice shakes and he hold yours small body, hesitant to let go. "Why...please stay, I need you here.." Your tears kept flowing down your full cheeks, eyes loosely closed. A woman's voice called for Levi to hurry up. "I gotta go now, kay'?" Levi quickly wipes his tears, giving another attempt at a stone face. "Bye." "Goodbye, pea."

Just the thought of it makes you choked up but it doesn't just have a sad tinge anymore, but an innocent, admirable one. You wonder if Levi remembers that.

"Earth to M/n." Levi says loudly. "Hm? Yeah..." You look down to see Levi had finished making the food. Levi looks concerned for a second before returning back to his ordinary expression. You ended up staying much longer than anticipated. You knew your wife would raise hell once you were home.

"Fuck, it's been 2 hours..." You exclaimed worriedly. "If anything goes down, you could always come to me." Levi says trying to relax you.

You give him a thankful gaze before heading to the front door. Looking back once, you wave to Levi, which he nods to.

.

.

You cautiously open the front door to your house.

Your wife is sat on the couch, already meeting eyes with you. She looks furious. "I called you at 2:00 & you're only just getting home at 4!?" She screams then bolts over to you, trying to force intimidation. "Who are you fucking, huh?" She screams again.

"I was at a friend's...(f/n)." You slightly dismiss her and wander off to your shared bedroom, undressing yourself as she follows closely behind.

"So why the fuck couldn't you say so? You need to respect me more! Do you know that at any moment I could fuck you over!? WHO DO YOU THINK THEY'LL BELIEVE?! Me!" She lashes out snatching your phone from your hand, shattering it onto the wooden floor below.

You went into a state of shock, your eyes hyperfocused on her enraged person, everything that wasn't here seemed to look like static. You began to get dizzy. You held your head as you almost lost your footing. Levi, you need Levi. You can't breathe.

You shove past her, she falls to the ground forcefully. You just want to go. You need comfort, why is she like this? This wasn't who she was when you first met her! The rain is heavy outside as you push past the front door and onto the sidewalk, cars rush past you, adding to your anxiety. Your breathing gets heavier and heavier. It's hard to see due to the rain, you're uncomfortable & soaked. The rain wasn't the only thing dampening your face, but your heavy, warm tears.

Finally, the familiar door number 255 came into sight. You banged as hard as you could on the door. Crashes of lightning roar through the sky.

Levi opens the door & your soaked body immediately crashes onto his. He understood without words. You hyperventalate & try to explain but he hushes you, he already knows. Your eyes red & teary holding onto Levi tight, & likewise him to you.

Everything began to fade to nothing.

[scary-grace]

Enough to Go By (Chapter 2) -- a Shigaraki x f!Reader fic

Your best friend vanished on the same night his family was murdered, and even though the world forgot about him, you never did. When a chance encounter brings you back into contact with Shimura Tenko, you'll do anything to make sure you don't lose him again. Keep his secrets? Sure. Aid the League of Villains? Of course. Sacrifice everything? You would - but as the battle between the League of Villains and hero society unfolds, it becomes clear that everything is far more than you or anyone else imagined it would be. (cross-posted to Ao3)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

Chapter 2

When the ER doctors ask you how you got hurt, you lie. You know you shouldn’t lie, know that Tenko’s dangerous, know that his quirk, whatever it is, is deadly on contact. Some part of you thinks you should be scared of the possibility that Tenko will come back to finish the job. But at the same time, you know you’re the one who chased him. You’re the one who wouldn’t let him go. If you hadn’t run after him, none of this would have happened.

This, it turns out, is a wrist that requires a specialized healing quirk to fix, and a bruised larynx that makes you sound like you’ve been deepthroating a lead pipe. “Whoever you’re protecting, you shouldn’t,” an old, sort of grizzled nurse says severely after the fifth time you’ve repeated your lie. “Another few pounds of pressure on your throat and you’d be dead.”

Tenko was fine with killing you, at least at first. You’re not sure what changed his mind, or why he let you go, and in spite of the fact that he gave you injuries severe enough for an overnight in the ER, you can’t help wondering what happened to him. The friend you knew was nothing like that. He got frustrated sometimes, like everyone else, but he was kind. And hurting people? He wouldn’t. His older sister did more playground fighting than he did. In fact, when you think about it – you close your eyes against the fluorescent lights in your hospital room and try to fend off the memory. You can’t quite do it, because it’s crystal clear. Tenko spent more time getting hurt than doing the hurting.

If Tenko and Hana got out the door first on school days, they’d wait outside your house on the sidewalk for you to come out, so you could all walk to school together. If you were ready first, you’d wait for them. One morning you were waiting, tapping your feet, fiddling with your umbrella because the weather looked like rain even if the forecast didn’t say so, when you heard voices. One raised grown-up voice and one small anxious one, from inside the house.

You didn’t want to eavesdrop, but you didn’t know how not to. Hana had a cold, so she was staying home. Tenko had wanted to say goodbye to her before he left, but their dad said no, and when Tenko stuck his head in the door anyway, his dad yelled. And was still yelling, over whatever Tenko was trying to say, until Tenko stumbled out onto the sidewalk, without a raincoat or an umbrella and scratching the skin around his eyes.

Or wiping his eyes, maybe. He started scrubbing at them frantically when he saw you. “Don’t look –”

You turned around, and as you did, you felt the first drops of rain. “Are you okay?”

“Hana’s sick.” Tenko sniffled. “I went in her room when I wasn’t supposed to.”

I heard, you almost said. But you didn’t. You just asked again. “Are you okay?”

“We have to walk or we’ll be late.” Tenko started walking, past you, and you followed him. The rain was falling harder, spattering Tenko’s shirt and his backpack. “It wasn’t supposed to rain.”

“Here.” You put up your umbrella and hurried to catch him, holding it over both your heads. You didn’t have a choice but to look at him now, and you saw how puffy his eyes were. “I bet Hana was happy.”

Tenko nodded. He wiped his nose on the back of his hand and sniffled again, and when his hand fell back to his side, it brushed against yours. Tenko cringed. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you said. You linked your pinky finger with his. “I swear.”

Tenko’s finger hooked tighter around yours. “Only since you swore.”

He had a cold the next day, and so did you. You cried until your mom went over to his house to apologize for you getting Tenko and Hana sick. So this isn’t the first time you’ve lied to protect Tenko. It might just be the first time you’re getting away with it.

You’re out of the ER at eight in the morning, and by nine-thirty you’re at work. You’re a medical assistant in a network of urgent care clinics that serve low-income people, uninsured people, or people who don’t want to risk going to a standard hospital. Your friends call your workplace Villains, Inc., and you’re not going to say you haven’t met your share – but you also meet a lot of people, and you think it’s good for you. Sometimes it feels like there are two Japans, sharing space in the same territory. One full of pretty, shiny heroes and happy, law-abiding civilians and uncomplicatedly evil villains, where everybody has a quirk and everybody’s always doing their best. And then there’s the other Japan, populated by everybody who doesn’t belong in the first one.

They say one in five people are quirkless, but you see at least fifty people a day at work, and the number of quirkless people on your side of Japan is a lot higher. Quirkless children have the school system to nominally protect them, but there’s no such system for quirkless adults. A lot of them are pushed to the margins, losing jobs to those with quirks, even if their quirk is useless for the jobs in question. Even when quirkless people can get work, it’s at a lower level than a quirked person could get. Your applications to nursing school were rejected, even though your grades matched the standard. You’re lucky that you’d already found an apprenticeship, in a workplace willing to sponsor your education and train you on the job.

You’ve been working here for two years, part-time as an apprentice and CNA in high school and full-time since you graduated. You’re a medical assistant now, which means you can do a whole bunch of things – take history, check vitals, draw blood, give vaccines. You have a specific exam room you work out of, and the newest workers, the ones still in high school, bring patients from the waiting room to you. From there, you figure out where to route them. To an exam room with a nurse or a physician, to the lab for blood tests, to Imaging, to the ER if their injuries or illness are too severe to be treated here. You’ve only had to route somebody to the morgue once.

You’ve just delivered your most recent patient to an exam room with a doctor, and you’re in the process of documenting it in the chart when a message pops up from one of your coworkers at the front desk. FOF. Can you handle it?

FOF – freak out front. You don’t love that acronym. How F are we talking?

Creepy-looking + mean. The new kid messed up, but not that bad.

You’re not in the mood for difficult patients today. Your throat is sore and your wrist is itching and the turtleneck you’re wearing to cover the bruises on your neck is a little too tight. But you’re the most senior medical assistant working today, and even if you weren’t, dealing with difficult people is sort of your specialty. You did a great job last night right up until you decided to chase after Tenko.

Nobody’s perfect, and you learned your lesson, didn’t you? You sigh, wincing at how it feels, and respond. Send them over.

You go back to your chart, trying desperately to finish it before the new patient arrives, and you’re just about to send it to your supervisor when the CNA knocks on the door. “Come in!”

The door opens and the patient steps through, shutting it behind them. “Just a second,” you say, deciding you’re going to finish your documentation if it kills you. “You can have a seat and I’ll be with you as soon as I just –”

“Your voice sounds weird.”

You almost choke on your own spit. You look up from your computer and find Tenko staring at you from across the exam room.

Between the fluorescent lights of the convenience stores and the shadowy darkness of the street, your encounter with Tenko last night had the sense of a fever dream or an acid trip – shiny around the edges, not quite real. Seeing him in broad daylight in your dingy exam room is unnerving beyond words. He looks even more like your best friend than he did before, but there are more differences, too – a scar over Tenko’s mouth, another scar over his right eye. Whatever skin condition he had around his eyes as a child, it’s gotten worse, so much worse that it’s obliterated his eyebrows and spread to his forehead. He’s wearing a black hoodie, maybe the same hoodie he was wearing last night. And he’s staring at you.

You thought there was no way he’d come back to finish the job. You thought you were safe. You thought wrong. Your voice comes out in an airless whisper, like you’re still sprawled on the concrete with his arm across your throat. “What are you doing here?”

“It says outside you have to treat everybody. Is that true?” Tenko’s voice is abrupt, bordering on rude, and he doesn’t wait for an answer. “Your voice sounds weird. And that shirt is stupid. You wouldn’t sound so weird if the collar wasn’t –”

He’s reaching towards you, and you’re frozen, even as your mind screams at you to get out of the way. Tenko’s index finger hooks into the collar of your turtleneck and pulls it down. His eyes narrow at first, turning his expression sharp and mean. Then they widen once more, past where they were before, until he looks more like the Tenko you knew than you’ve seen yet. “Who did that?”

You don’t remember your best friend being this stupid. “Who do you think?”

“I didn’t do that,” Tenko says, but his eyes dart to one side, the way they used to do when he knew he was wrong. A second later he changes his tune. “You made me do it. If you hadn’t chased me –”

You shouldn’t have chased him, but he didn’t have to choke you and burn the skin off your wrist. You look Tenko over and change the subject. You don’t want to argue. You don’t want him to get mad. “Aren’t you missing something?”

He gives you a puzzled look, and you mime a hand covering your face. “Father,” Tenko says. He calls it Father? That’s – weird. “He’s here.”

He unhooks his finger from your collar, reaches into his hoodie pocket, extracts the hand, and secures it over his face. It should look ridiculous, but instead it’s terrifying. “I can’t wear him in daylight. Master says he’s too recognizable yet.”

None of those words make any sense, and you’ve lost your ability to speak. “It says you treat everybody here. You have to. Right?” Tenko asks. You nod wordlessly. “So treat me.”

“Um –” You get the syllable out of your mouth, watching Tenko’s shoulders stiffen at the sound of your voice. “Do you have your intake form? They would have given it to you when you checked in.”

Tenko’s mouth twists. “The brat at the front desk didn’t give me anything. She said she could fill it in herself, since she knew I was here for dermatology.”

You think back to your coworker’s message. You’d say the new kid messed up pretty bad. “I’m sorry. She shouldn’t have made that assumption.”

“You did too. Didn’t you? I bet you thought I came in here for help with my disgusting skin.”

“No,” you say. “I think you’re probably coming in for your wrist.”

It’s the only thing that makes sense to you, short of him tracking you down to finish the job, and when he’s reached for you or taken the hand out of his pocket, he’s used his left hand. If your memory’s correct, Tenko’s right-handed. “It looked like you hurt it when you fell,” you continue. Tenko stares at you. “Are there any other issues you’d like us to investigate while you’re here?”

Tenko shakes his head. Okay. Nineteen-year-old male, here for suspected injury to wrist. What’s next in your exam workflow? A process you run through at least a hundred times per week has exited your mind completely. You glance around the room uselessly and your eyes land on your blood pressure cuff. “Okay. I’m going to take your vitals.”

“Why do you need those?” Tenko looks suspicious. “Stay away from me.”

“I need your blood pressure, your pulse rate, and your pulse oxygen level. None of those are invasive tests.” Not usually, anyway – given how Tenko reacted the last time you came anywhere close to touching him, you’re pretty sure that pushing the point here could get you killed. “Or just the pulse oxygen. That goes on your finger.”

You take it out, only to remember about Tenko’s quirk. Tenko notices your hesitation. He sneers behind the hand. “Don’t worry. It only works with all five fingers.”

Good to know. You clip the pulse oxygen monitor onto his middle finger and turn back to your computer. Even without looking at his wrist, an x-ray is standard protocol, and you need to get Tenko into the queue right away. The less time he spends here, the less danger everybody else is in. It might be too late for you already.

“What do you think?” Tenko asks. You look at him. “The quirk.”

“You’ve got one.” You’re not really sure what else to say.

“And you don’t. Still?” Tenko raises his eyebrows. You nod. “And you still don’t care.”

“No,” you say. “I never cared about not having one. Only about how people treat me.”

“I bet they treat you like shit,” Tenko says. He sounds gleeful, but his expression doesn’t match his tone of voice. It’s weird. “If I ask you why you’re here instead of some fancy clinic on the nice side of town, you’ll probably lie and say you love it here. But you’re here because nowhere else will take somebody who doesn’t have a quirk. Isn’t that right?”

“I do like it here.” You aren’t lying. The pulse ox monitor beeps and you take it back from Tenko, recording the reading on your computer. “And I’m here because nowhere else will take me. Let me see your wrist.”

Tenko’s had his other hand in the front pocket of his hoodie this whole time. He draws it out slowly and extends it towards you. You’re not qualified to diagnose anything, but you can see that it’s bruised and swollen, and the skin is hot when you touch it. Tenko hisses as your fingers make contact. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to see if there’s an obvious break.” You shouldn’t – he’ll be headed to Imaging no matter what – but you don’t want anyone else to come into contact with Tenko unless they have to. Tenko’s wrist is swollen to the point that you can barely feel anything beneath it. “Were you resting this last night? Or using it?”

“I had games to play.”

Tenko’s a gamer now. Huh. “That’s probably why it’s so sore. And so swollen. No more gaming with that hand until it heals.”

“You’re not a doctor. Don’t tell me what to do.”

“The doctor’s going to say the same thing.” You glance away at your screen, checking your position in the Imaging queue. There’s a chest x-ray ahead of you, with a sick kid, and those always take a while. “I’m going to get you some ice for this. It’ll help with the x-rays if the swelling goes down. Stay here.”

“No.” Tenko gets to his feet, pulling his wrist out of your grip, grimacing as the motion jars the injury. “You think I don’t know what you’ll do? You’re just dying to go to the cops.”

“I had a chance to go to the cops. Last night, when I went to the hospital for this.” You gesture at your throat, and Tenko’s expression twists behind the hand. “I didn’t go then. Why would I go now?”

Tenko stares at you. You hold his gaze. You’ve never lost a staring contest in your life, and you’re not planning to start today – and after a long moment, Tenko averts his eyes. “You can go,” he says shortly. “But I won’t use it unless you get some for your neck.”

Does he feel guilty? Is that why he’s saying that? You decide not to think about it too hard. He’s your patient right now. If this is what it’ll take for him to ice his injury, you’ll happily slap a bag of ice on your throat.

But once you’ve brought the ice back, and you’re holding yours to your throat while Tenko applies his gingerly to his wrist, you’re out of other things to do. It’s just you and your best friend, who tried to kill you last night, sitting in a room together. Tenko still has the hand over his face. Your wrist is still itching. Before last night, when you still had the luxury of imagining what it would be like to meet Tenko again after all this time, you didn’t imagine it would be like this. It makes you sad.

You’re expecting silence until Tenko gets called back to Imaging, but to your surprise, Tenko speaks up. “Your parents had three more kids,” he says. You nod. “Why?”

“To be fair to them, they thought they were only having one.” You don’t like being fair to them about this, given what happened afterwards, even if there’s no way they could have known. “It was triplets, and they were pretty sick. They got the same kind of quirk as the rest of the family, so they made us all feel how they felt. Which was – bad.”

Tenko doesn’t say anything. You shouldn’t be talking about your family, not when his family is dead. Does he even know what happened to his family? You’re not going to ask. “Sorry.”

“Did you have to take care of them?”

“What?”

“The stupid triplets. Did you have to take care of them, too?” Tenko glares from behind the hand. “I remember you always had to before. You never stayed as long as you wanted to.”

“Oh,” you say, startled. “No, um – I had to get home. I wanted to.”

“My birthday party. Your mom came to get you early and you said you weren’t crying but you were.” Tenko is still glaring at you, and you find yourself shrinking back in your chair. “I remember. Don’t lie.”

“You didn’t remember last night,” you say, but he must have remembered something, or he wouldn’t have spoken up when you mentioned how many siblings you have. “Tenko, what –”

“That’s not my name. Anymore.” Tenko scratches at his neck lefthanded. “Master gave me a new one. Tomura.”

“Tomura,” you repeat. “Is that what I should call you?”

Tenko – Tomura? – keeps scratching, clawing up red scrapes in his skin. Then his hand falls back down. “Tenko. You should call me Tenko.” He averts his eyes from yours again. “You knew me before.”

Before what? You can’t decide whether to ask, and Tenko makes the decision for you. “I knew you before, too. When you were a kid whose parents wouldn’t let her stay long enough at a birthday party for a fucking piece of cake.”

“You brought me some. The next day.” Your voice is small. “I remember that. It was the nicest thing anybody ever did for me.”

Tenko’s shoulders stiffen. “That’s pathetic.”

“It was the nicest thing back then,” you say. “Nicer stuff has happened since then.”

Has it? It probably has, but right now your mind is full, all your memories of Tenko flooding to the forefront. There aren’t many. Not nearly enough. Three years at most – your memory is good enough to pick up some things from when you were a toddler, and you and Tenko met when you were barely old enough to speak full sentences. But you talked. You always talked. You talked to each other about everything. Right now it feels like there’s nothing in the world you could say to each other, and it breaks your heart.

Your computer pings, snapping you out of it and giving you something else to fixate on. “They’re ready for us in Imaging. I’ll walk you.”

“What, you think I can’t walk by myself?”

“I want to keep an eye on you,” you say, and Tenko scoffs. “Come on.”

He takes the hand down off his face and tucks it away again before exiting the exam room. He pulls his hood up, too, shuffling along at your side too close to be a shadow. You pass more than a few of your coworkers, all of whom give you pitying looks. They feel bad for you, but they don’t know enough to feel bad for the right reason. It makes you angry, just like it made you angry to hear Tenko’s father shout at him, a useless anger that felt too large for your tiny body. You couldn’t protect him then, and he wouldn’t let you do it now, but the urge is there, as insane as it might be. He almost killed you last night. And here you are wanting to save him.

The x-rays go quickly. A few different angles, and then you and Tenko stand there while the doctor on shift interprets them. “No fracture,” he reports. “Just a bad sprain. We’ll send you home with a brace to wear. Just take it easy for a few days.”

Tenko jerks his chin downwards. It would be charitable to call it a nod. The doctor makes a quick note in his chart and turns away, trusting you to dig up a brace and conclude the visit. Tenko won’t ask, so you will. “What about for pain?”

The doctor turns, raises an eyebrow. “The patient didn’t ask.”

“The patient wouldn’t have come in if it didn’t hurt.” You’re insane. You must be, to help someone who hurt you, except you’re not thinking of last night, you’re thinking of today – of your best friend, who’s not your friend anymore, but remembers you enough to be angry on your behalf. Who brought you a slice of birthday cake the next day because you couldn’t stay long enough to have one. “What would you recommend?”

“Ice it at least three times a day, and double up on NSAIDs,” the doctor says finally. “The OTC brands will be fine. If you rest it properly it should be healed by next week. Is there anything else?”

You glance at Tenko. Tenko shakes his head. “Feel better soon,” the doctor says. “Come back for a follow-up if anything worsens.”

Tenko trails after you as you retrieve a brace from the supply cabinet. “What the hell were all those acronyms?”

“NSAIDs – nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs,” you explain. “Things like ibuprofen and acetaminophen. OTC means over the counter – things you can buy without a prescription. Any convenience store should have them.”

You find a brace in the correct size and turn to find Tenko already holding out his arm. It surprises you, to the extent that you freeze for a moment, but then you snap out of it and secure the brace around his wrist. It’s simple to avoid his quirk, now that you think about it. All you have to do is make sure all five fingers don’t touch you at once.

Tenko grimaces as you fasten the last of the Velcro straps on the brace. “It’s tight.”

“It needs to be tight to support your wrist,” you say. “If it hurts, loosen it a little bit, but not so much that it slides. Do you have questions about anything else?”

Tenko shakes his head. “He didn’t say I couldn’t play games.”

“He said you had to rest your wrist,” you say. “You can play point-and-clicks. With your other hand.”

Tenko snorts. “I’m not playing point-and-clicks.”

“Better than nothing.” They’re the only type of video game you’re good at. Sometimes you and your friends make a drinking game out of them, doing a shot every time you find a clue or solve a puzzle. “If there’s nothing else, I can go ahead and walk you out.”

It’s quiet for a second. Tenko is looking at you, and you look back, unsure of what else to do. Part of you wants him gone as fast as possible, but it’s a smaller part of you than it should be. The rest of you wants your best friend, who remembers the things you don’t talk about, who saw you through the smile you knew to paste on even at five years old. You want to find out what happened to him. You want to know where he’s been. You want to know if he knew you were here, if that’s why he came to this clinic instead of any of the others. You want to know if it’s going to be another fifteen years before you see him again.

For a moment you think Tenko will say something, will come up with something else to stretch this out. Instead he glances left, then right. “Which way do I go to get out of here?”

“I’ll walk you out,” you say again. You lead him down the hall to the door that opens onto the street, fighting the lump in your throat. There’s a spiel you’re supposed to give to patients as they leave, but you can’t get it out of your mouth.

Tenko stands there a moment, then pushes the door open lefthanded, and something inside you snaps loose. You catch his sleeve and he turns to stare at you, a sneer already beginning to twist his features. You’ve got maybe three seconds before he hurts you again, and you have to use them wisely. “I won’t ask about the rest of it. I’m not going to follow you again,” you say. “I know we won’t see each other after this. I just need to know. Are you okay, wherever you are?”

You’re expecting him to mock you, but instead the sneer falls from his face. He looks like himself again, the part of him you knew best. He doesn’t ask why you care, and you realize it’s because he knows. He knew last night when he let you go instead of killing you. You’re his best friend. Of course you care.

“Yeah. I –” Tenko coughs, clears his throat. His voice is back to its usual rasp when he speaks. “I’m okay.”

You know he’s lying. You think he might know that you know, too. But he pulls his arm away slightly, not yanking it from your grip but making it clear that he wants to leave, and you let him go.

The door swings shut behind him, and you turn and head back to your exam room, working on documenting his visit in the chart until your eyes go blurry. You didn’t sleep at all last night. You won’t sleep well tonight, either. You know already that you’ll be up late into the night, retracing every second in your head, trying to figure out what went wrong. Trying to guess what happened. Wondering, like you always wonder about Tenko – if he’s alive, if he’s all right.

You have answers to the first two questions now. Other than that, the things that keep you up tonight will be the same as they’ve been since you were six years old. Other than the scar around your wrist and the bruises around your throat, nothing’s changed at all.

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

the abandonment issues au,,

where Sun and Moon gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss their way into ur heart

and then turn into sad wet baby kittens when u find out and call them out on it <3

(copy and pasted from the space aces discord, sorry fellas lmao)

abandonment issues au:

ok what if. fucked up au time

where. reader is the new daycare assistant or a mechanic or smthn idk theyre working withh Sun and Moon thats the important part

i think it works better if theyre like, Sun n Moon's handler? Bc they r closer that way and it makes it more fucked up lmaooooo

so basically. this takes place right after Sun n Moon had their best friend-handler person leave bc Sun n Moon had been acting increasingly volatile n buggy n rlly just having issues but the more the previous handler tried to talk to them abt it and fix it the more they got anxious abt getting decommissioned and would cover up the problems n act like nothing was wrong

and eventually one day the previous handler nearly got rlly hurt and knew they had to leave bc it wasn't safe for them and they left a detailed warning/report for the mechanics

(and they didnt say goodbye, not out of malice or anything just bc they didnt want even more reasons for Sun n Moon to act up/potentially hurt them or themselves)

so. the mechanics did a total clean up of Sun n Moon's system, basically left their memories but scrubbed their data of a lot of the 'feelings' they'd had- mostly wiping away the feelings tied to 'good' memories, and the only thing Sun n Moon could do to fill in the void of 'feelings' was assign different feelings in their place, so when they once looked back and felt happy or nostalgic, now they feel confused and angry and sad and betrayed bc why was all of that happiness taken from them?? why did their handler hurt them like this??

so the scrubbing of their systems, which was one thing they really really didn't want to have done for fear of losing their memories entirely, DID work in putting their issues on a much lower level,, but it didn't get rid of the issues entirely. Now they're just,, easier to hide or play off or ignore. They're careful around the kids, of course, but they do at times have trouble with their motor controls or their speech will glitch slightly, etc

a few handlers come and go, never staying for more than a week or so- none of them really care about the job, don't see Sun n Moon as coworkers but more like fancy 'machines' with no real thoughts or emotions, they normally leave after Sun or Moon has a glitchy moment and nearly hurts them or, in at least one case, does hurt them by squeezing their wrist too hard. more often than not, the ppl applying for the position read the list of warnings n cautions and are like 'hell nahh' and bail immediately

then. in comes,, reader. local dumbass. most endearing of idiots. a bit dense. very much clueless. dearly beloved

you're the first one to really treat them like your coworkers, making small talk and being friendly and kind and patient and laughing at their jokes. you smile when you introduce yourself, offering your hand for them to shake- not afraid of them or their little twitches at all. god, how they missed that. you remind them of their previous handler, if only in how you see them like theyre people and not machines.

and they make a mutual agreement to do whatever they can to keep you as their handler. even if it means dodging around company rules and policies by doing something like crumpling up the confidential 'warning' forms, ortelling the occasional white lie, like forging your signature onto the papers when your back is turned and making sure it makes it to your manager without either of you noticing who exactly was putting it on their desk.

you've already started calling them your friends the first time they have a glitchy moment. you're doing detailing work on their endoskeleton, really just cleaning dust away and making sure everything looks the way it does in the manual, when they break something- a tablet, a pen, your phone, whatever it is, it happens in an instant and startles you.

when Sun n Moon come to and realize whats happened theyre terrified. what if you use this as some kind of excuse to leave? What if you abandon them, just like their previous handler did? What if you start treating them differently, or you tell the staff that they need to be scrapped

so when you ask what that was about, they're frantic, quick to come up with something, anything that might make you shrug and forget all about it,

"Well, you WERE just working on their insides, right? That must have been something YOU did to suddenly make us do something like THAT! There's no way else it could have happened. Right?"

You take the lie hook, line, and sinker, apologizing profusely, promising to try harder to make sure nothing like that happens again. The relief they feel is almost euphoric. They pat you on the head kindly, reassuring you that they know you didn't do it on purpose, it was just a little mess up! You're fine, friend, we forgive you.

From then on, they dodge blame and truth alike, most often redirecting your attention to something you must have said or done to make something so strange and out of character for them happen so suddenly, and you believe them, full of apologies and careful words and actions and nervous worrying about doing things wrong and hurting them somehow. It's cute, how anxious you can get. It's cuter, how you melt for their comfort and reassurance. 

They play the song and dance with you again and again, weaving doubt and guilt into you more and more frequently. Until one day, you mumble something about how 'maybe i'm not cut out for this, maybe i should switch to be on the janitorial team instead, or some other department, i don't want to hurt you guys, or-or be the reason someone else gets hurt, i clearly dont know what im doing, and it's only gotten worse, maybe i should talk to my manager,,' and they panic

don't be silly, friend!!!! you can't just leave like that, what about the kids, what about that puppet show you had helped them plan, did you really want to just abandon all that?? so what if maybe they had the occasional hiccup, you were always there to smooth it over, who cared whether they dropped things from time to time, or- or broke a toy or two, that didn't matter, did it??? You were getting so good at being their handler, your little mistakes were normal, come on, you don't want to leave your very best friends. Do you?

and you cave, agreeing to stay, and they are so, so extremely careful to hide their little moments from you for several weeks, making sure you don't notice their tiny twitches or split seconds of glitchy voices, maybe keeping a closer eye on you than would be comfortable, watching over your shoulder each time you type up a report about the day, giving the manager a loathsome glower behind your back whenever they happen by,, and every time you leave you say 'i'll see you guys tomorrow!,' they grab onto your sleeve and respond with 'promise?' so you always know that they really, really do want you to come back

and then. one day,, you decide to go looking in their files for something small and silly, like what kinds of updates had been added to their pick-up protocols, and you find the warnings and cautions forms

and you see your signature on them, but you would definitely remember this and you are absolutely certain you have never seen these papers in your life. and you take the papers and you go to ask them about it.

"i thought you said you never had any problems before? you told me you never had any issues before but this- this is full of things that you- and you, you've been having these problems for that long??"

they stumble over their words, frantic, panicked, backpedaling on everything theyve ever said, trying meekly to grab the papers from your hands, piling excuses on excuses 

"you knew? you knew you were having these problems, and you didn't tell me? and you- you told me it was my fault!"

you're close to tears, hurt that they lied more than anything. you keep backing away from them, dodging their attempts to get the forms. they don't know which is worse- seeing that look on your face, or when they were left without so much as a goodbye.

"you could have told me. i thought i was the reason for everything, i thought i was hurting you, and you just... you lied right to my face and let me think that."

theyre putting on their best soothing voice, movements slow and gentle, wanting to comfort you and wipe those tears away and reassure you somehow that this- this isn't their fault, none of it is, it never was, they're fine and you're fine and nothing was ever wrong, and everything will be fine if only you calm down and stay

you can tell they arent really listening. you take a deep breath and turn away from them, scraping the tears from your face. you tell them you're going to go home and write up a report about all of this and when you come back you can go over it together before you send it to management, but right now you're leaving because you need space to breathe and time to think

but all they hear is that you're leaving, and they panic.

they don't hurt you, of course! but right now you're not allowed to leave.

you try to shut out the sound of them crying and apologizing and begging, even if it breaks your heart, because right now all you want to do is go home and lie in your stupid bed and have a stupid cry in your favorite pajamas. but you try every door you can think of- none of them open. you've sstayed past closing more than once, but the doors aren't normally shuttered for another two hours,, and you're pretty sure the night guard isn't even here yet

the entire time you're walking around the 'plex, Moon is trailing sadly behind you, waiting with the saddest, most pathetic wet cat look an animatronic can achieve, for you to turn and face them again

and thus begins what is probably the longest night of your life, spent trying to avoid your animatronic friends/coworkers who are acting like the worlds clingiest ex who just got broken up with and who can't stop dropping sad love songs in ur dms

by the time morning rolls around, they agree to actually go to parts n services and cooperate and try their best to get whatever is wrong with them repaired, even if it means they might get decomissioned. in the mean time, you promise to come back once they're fixed and work with them to help them get back to their old selves- or at least, back to how they were before any potentially dangerous bugs

basically this is the 'sun and moon have abandonment issues and gaslight you abt it' au

idk what else would happen tbh idk why i thought this au needed to exist either but here we are *lays facedown in a puddle*

[dmwrites]

Scar passed by Grian’s fishing shack one day to see the man fishing again. His back to the land, a pole in his hand, the perfect picture of peace. It reminded Scar of fond memories in early game, fishing and chatting with his friends late into the night. Scar took a picture and went on his way.

It wasn’t until the evening, laying in bed and bringing up the picture to send to Grian that Scar noticed something was off. Grian wasn’t wearing his fisherman’s best; rather, he was in his permit office clothes, kaki pants and all! Scar chuckled- if he had noticed that at the time, he surely would have bugged Grian about some permit or another.

<you whispered to Grian: looks like someone forgot to clock out>

Scar sent the image and lay back in his bed. It wasn’t like Grian to be seen in his permit office clothes, but he understood the grip an obsession had on a man. But Scar made a note to visit Grian the following day, to poke some fun at his blunder.

The next day came, and Scar wheeled himself across the stretch of grass to Grian’s place. He slowed, then stopped, when he caught sight of Grian. Fishing. Right where he’d left the guy the day before. In the same office worker clothes.

“What the- Grian!” Scar rolled up and tapped Grian on the back. He was kind of weirdly wet. Scar wiped his hand on his shirt. “I’d like to discuss getting another permit, please.”

Scar chuckled at his joke, but Grian remained still, fishing bobber floating in the water. He didn’t say anything, just jerked his head slightly to acknowledge Scar’s prescience.

“G, buddy, you can’t just be abandoning all of your life for fishing, no matter how much you love it. Have you even slept? Eaten? You definitely haven’t taken a shower, I can smell you from over here, woof!”

Grian still said nothing. The bobber went under the water, but Grian just watched it. Scar waited, but the thing just eventually came back to the surface, unaffected. Scar frowned, unnerved by Grian’s silence. He wasn’t shifting and giggling like he did when playing a prank.

“Here, at least let me get you some food.” Scar said. “You have some cooked fish in the barrels over here, if I remember correctly. Not that I go through your things or steal food, I just- what on earth?”

Scar opened up a barrel to find it filled with a deep red material, like the inside of a fish or other animal. It wasn’t packaged or anything, just out in the open. It glistened with some kind of liquid, and there were definite shapes deep within the substance. Scar blinked rapidly.

“G, what on earth are you keeping in here? You creepy little man.”

Scar heard heavy, slapping footsteps behind him, and he wheeled around to confront him, but stopped mid-breath. Grian was standing behind him, and Scar’s words failed him as he took a proper look at him for the first time in days. Grian’s face was sagging, his black eyes sunk back in his head, drooping even more then usual. His skin looked shiny and discolored, and his mouth was hung open listlessly.

“G, you know Halloween isn’t for another few months now.” Scar said nervously. “But the costume looks great! Can’t even tell what you are. I think I’m going to go now… goodbye!”

Scar took off, and he could have sworn that Grian had reached for him as he did. Scar did a big loop in the sky and headed to the big lighthouse across the river. Maybe their neighbor, Gem, had some answers. She seemed in on his hyjinks often enough.

“Gem! Gem! Have you noticed that something weird is going on with Grian?” Scar landed next to Gem, who was painting something on the side of the lighthouse.

“Gem?”

Gem turned around to face Scar, moving her body to face his in a way that looked deeply heavy and cumbersome. Her eyes were distant, greyer then usual. His fingers were covered in a thick, translucent slime. She opened her mouth and let out an awful, gargling sound, and Scar watched two pink tendril looking things appear at the back of her mouth, coming up her throat. Scar wheeled backwards with a shout as his brain struggled to process what he was seeing. It wasn’t tendrils he was looking at, but thick, slimy antennae.

Gem lurched forward, but Scar didn’t wait around to find out why. He wheeled backwards off the lighthouse and deployed his elytra. He spammed rockets until he hit the side of his train, and scrambled in the engine car. Down in his maze of a storage room, back so far that he himself wasn’t sure how to leave, he sat, shaking, trying and failing to not picture the snail coming out of Gem’s throat.

Thats what it was, what it had to be. The antenna was far to familiar to Scar, who had been plagued by those sneaky snails before. He’d wondered where they’d gone, and it seemed he finally had some semblance of an answer. He thought of the red matter in Grian’s barrels, and his stomach lurched. He closed his eyes, but the darkness brought on horrors of his own, of being taken out piece by piece and being worn as a meat puppet. He shuddered, and wondered how long until he would be like them. The snails seemed to like messing with him, after all.

[nyxyxx]

Godly Desires - Part 4

Finished up the Diluc part for now. This chapter is quite short - (I was super tired). Just a simple interlude chapter before we get to the huge Monsdtadt part I. II. III. IV. Warning: This series will contain yandere content and religious themes.

"Sweet Dreams"

-

When you arrived in the room that Diluc had arranged for you, you noticed just how lavish it was. It definitely didn't look like just an ordinary person's room. It was odd, but you loved how luxurious it looked. Upon finally being able to relax, you noticed just how weary your body felt.

Perhaps it was because you've been doing so much all this time, that the idea of a nice, comfy, warm bed was just too difficult to resist. You forced yourself to not just lunge onto the bed, - for fear of damaging it - and climbed inside, and shortly after, your mind began to drift away.

Next thing you knew, you were standing out in a sea of stars, surrounded by a vast nothingness, yet it felt like everything was just in reach. You held your hand out, and imagined an apple, and sure enough, an apple materialized in your hand a moment later.

How is it possible to dream inside a dream? You've never heard of such a thing before. It was weird, this whole situation was weird.

You suddenly thought of your family, and of your friends. When you thought really hard, you found that you could not remember much about them. They were just figures, shadows in your mind. Saying words that you know you've heard before, but felt so... unfamiliar. You tried to remember something in more detail, like school - but there was nothing. You vaguely remember being in school, but you don't remember what classes you had, your classmates - nothing.

It was almost as if your mind was detaching itself from your real life, instead being replaced by memories from your dream. When you thought more about your best friend, you realized that they had changed. You recognized them more now. They were almost certainly a different person than the previous person you had thought about, but this one felt... like there was more of a connection.

You heard your friend talking to you, but couldn't make out the words. She seemed happy about something, staring off into the distance without a care in the world. She sat on top of a green hill, bare feet in the gentle blades of grass. She laughed, and although it was inaudible, you could feel that it was a very soft laugh. She was a very soft person.

Then, she turned to you, and embraced you gently. Her body trembled and shook, as her hands held onto your clothes like they were her lifeline. A few solitary tears fell down her face, but the smile on her face had never once faded. She spoke a few words to you, whispered softly in to your ear. In that moment, you felt an extreme anguish, but even though she knew you could not hear her in that moment, she smiled through her tears. In the next moment, she had disappeared, just as quickly as she had first appeared.

You woke up crying, wiping a few stray tears out of your eyes. Despite that, you felt good. You felt very good actually. You felt like you had the best sleep you have ever had, comfy, and safe, warm...and happy.

When you had finished getting ready, you left your room and sat down in the dining hall, where the maids told you Diluc would be waiting. Sure enough, he took the seat across from you, and smiled. "Did you sleep well?" he asked.

"Oh yes, I slept great. Thank you again for letting me stay here," you smiled. He called for a maid to bring out the breakfast for the two of you, and shortly after the food had arrived.

The two of you ate together, quietly and peacefully, but very much enjoying each other's company. When you finished eating, as he had promised, you prepared to leave, though he did seem regretful that you were leaving. "You are welcome to visit whenever you wish, please have a good trip." The two of you said your goodbyes, and it was finally time to move on. Your next stop was Mondstadt city.

-

Taglist: @justyoureader; @mmeatt; @iamapotatoe; @clavichordcleffa; @yu-ulda; @c3rtifiedsimp; @eravariety: @vianitry; @dulcedelechenginamo; @reveihehe @liansh3ng; @angelofdarkness2; @reveihehe

[dreamescapeswriting]

Smutober Day 12 ~ Prompt ~ Seo Changbin [M]

WORD COUNT: 1.1k

PAIRING: Changbin x Fem!Reader  

GENRE: established relationships, minors DNI, prompt: “That date sucked, wanna bone?” friends to lovers, unprotected sex, sweet,

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - Smutober 2023

⤜MASTERLIST

The two of you stared at each other awkwardly as Changbin locked the front door, hoping to never have to open it again after a night like this,

"That was..." You were trying to find the words to express what had just unfolded in front of you but there was nothing coming up. There were so many words in the English language but none of them were ever going to be good enough to describe what you'd just had to witness. Was it possible to wipe it from your memory? Maybe even bleach your eyes at this point.

"Don't," Changbin warned you, holding his hand up for you to stop but there was no way you were going to drop this. All of the times Changbin had judged your end-of-date goodbyes, this was finally your chance to exact revenge,

"Uncomfortable? The worst thing I've ever seen in my life?" You were just saying things that came to mind while Changbin rushed over, placing his hand over your mouth,

"Stop," He whined dragging the word out but you licked his hand, smirking as he yanked away from you, mumbling about how gross you are but you smirked proudly.

"No wonder you're single because Changbin, that was awful." You gestured to the door and he rolled his eyes shaking his head as he stared up at the ceiling.

"Shut up." He didn't need to hear you tell him about how bad that date was, he'd been there during the date and he had no idea why the girl had even tried to kiss him.

"She went to kiss you and you shook her hand!"

"I know!" He groaned thinking back on it. All night long he'd been talking about you and yet the girl he'd gone on the date with still thought there was a shot with him? The only reason he'd gone out tonight was because of you.

"I thought you wanted to date people now." You smirked, You knew he'd gone out because you'd teased him a little,

"Can we drop the subject?" He grumbled walking away from you but you followed after him slightly feeling sorry for your roommate and best friend. 

The two of you had been living together for almost two years and you'd pointed out the other night that Changbin never seemed to bring a girl home, nor any guys.

"You need to get laid, you're too tense."

"Bit hard when the only girl I like doesn't want me," He mumbled not realising that you were within earshot. Your heart fluttered as you thought about it, You'd had a crush on him for years but you'd never said anything in fear of making things weird between you. This was your chance to offer him sex but could quickly play it off as a joke if you were careful enough.

Changbin lifted the glass of water to his lips, shaking his head as he tried to shake off the awful date he'd had.

"That date sucked, wanna bone?" His body tensed and the glass nearly slipped through his fingers. Slowly, and carefully, he turned around to face you to try and juge if this was some kind of joke,

"Yeah." He meant to say it as a question but it was already too late. Your lips smashed against his and the glass fell into the sink, shattering upon impact but neither of you cared.

The kiss was too hot and heavy, not to mention the chemistry you felt had your body screaming at you for not doing this sooner.

"Upstairs, I wanna fuck you in my bed." He whined, pulling your hand into his and rushing up toward his bedroom.

Clothes were strewn all over the room as you lay on his bed looking up at him,

"You look so beautiful," He whispered running his hand over your cheek, his cock brushing against your cunt as you whined at him,

"Please, I'm done waiting Binnie," You didn't care if you sounded desperate, this was everything you'd been dreaming of for as long as you could remember and you no longer wanted to wait for him anymore. You needed him inside of you.

"You want me to wreck this tight little pussy?" He questioned, holding his dick at your entrance and pushing only the tip in,

"Y-Yes! Please! Fuck me," You whined as he let out a groan, smirking as he slowly pushed inside of you, your eyes rolled back a little at the stretch of his dick. Nothing you'd ever imagined compared to him, nothing else was ever going to compare to him again. He was going to ruin sec forever for you but you didn't care. 

"You can move," You whispered as he slowly began to move his hips, looking at you the whole time.

"Harder...I won't break." You wink at him and he lets out a low grunt. You two were close, you knew how each other liked sex since you'd talked about it before and he bit down on his lip. 

"You want all of me?"

"Hard and fast." You whispered biting down on his lip before he growled deeply and oulled out of you. His eyes locked onto yours before slamming back into you, fucking you just the way you'd asked him to.

"Fucking! Yes!" You scream out, dragging your nails down his back as he ravaged you, fucking into you brutally and perfectly with each thrust sending your head rolling back.

"Changbin," You moaned, your legs wrapping around his waist trying to get him as close as you could to your body. The feeling of his cock inside of you drove you wild, none of the fantasies you'd don for yourself did him justice.

"You take me so well baby," He grunts out, the sound of slapping skin filling the room as you moaned out loudly. God, you never wanted this to end but at the same time you wanted him to cum, you needed him to finish and all for you.

"C-Come for me," You moaned out to him, his eyes finding yours as a deep blush began to crawl onto his chees.

"P-please, I want you...Need you to," You admitted as he continued to fuck roughly into you, your own orgasm hitting you out of nowhere as you came around his cock.

"Ugh, God yes," Changbin grunted as his thrusts grew sloppier but harder fucking the very last drop into you as you let out a small giggle.

"You're laughing, was it bad?" Insecurities grew on him but you placed your hand on his cheek,

"That was everything I'd be dreaming of," You admitted before kissing him softly and pulling him closer to you.

Tagline: @chiisaiblog @sw33tnight @kaitieskidmore97 @stayconnecteed @saymyspringrain @laylasbunbunny @tinyoonsblog @whitefoxgirl @katnisspeetaprim @acciocriativity @just-aelia @minhosify @choisoorin @straykids5star @heyjiminnie @beccaskz @scarletemeterio @btsiguess-kpop @halesandy

[mysticficti0n]

goodbye... for awhile

∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　　∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　

warnings- swearing, fluffy, emotional, 16years old

words- 1.8k

a/n-I had this idea last night while watching something on insta so here's my go at it! just pretend thats you and Tom 🫡 and for when they preform in class for the lesson I know 'all I wanted' is a song by Paramore (love them sm) but lets say for the sake of this Y/n, Bill and Tom created it okay?

(editing B here may I say I cried while writing this... and editing this so if you ever need to cry, this has you covered)

I woke up and my mood dropped immediately, it was Friday which most people would be excited obviously- the weekend was on it's way, but the thought of today created a pit in my stomach, my last day with the Kaulitz twins, they were my best friends since we began at the school, Bill and I would meet up after lessons everyday and walk home together sometimes even staying at his for dinner, then Tom began hanging with us and 5 years later we've been all best friends and me and Tom started dating we were 14 and now we're 16 and only me, him, our parents, Bill and his other bandmates know about us- but after today....what was us going to become.

I got ready wearing some jeans, a top which tucked neatly to my sides and some shoes I got for my birthday, I decided to go simple with make up, I already was crying so I didn't need mascara dripping down my cheeks. I looked to the mirror and smiled taking a breath "honey?" my moms voice appeared around the corner and then her face with a small smile "oh sweetheart" she cooed walking in a wrapping her arms around me rubbing my back "I know you're gonna miss them, but I promise you'll see them when they're back- it's okay" I sighed to her shoulder letting my tears go down my face before we pulled away

"I'm just scared to be on my own mom and I'll miss them both so much and... I don't want them to leave but I know they have to" I breathed shakily trying to stop the cries before my mom spoke the bell rang making my heart sink instantly

"we'll talk after okay, lets go to them" I nodded grabbing my bag and walking down the stairs as she opened the door "oh boys" she sighed pulling the two for a hug "I'm so proud of you both but gosh we're going to miss you sweets, but you'll be amazing" she spoke pressing a kiss to both their cheeks, letting them out her arms and I finally looked to their faces which looked sadder and I just looked down and covered my face "talk to her boys" my mom said patting their shoulders and soon I felt hands wrap around me

"I'm gonna miss you two so much" I managed to say between my sobs "but I'm so excited for you, I just don't know what I'm gonna do without you guys" we all pulled away and I saw tears slipping from the brown eyed twins "I'm sorry" a small laughed left my lips

"making us cry Y/n" Bill grinned wiping his eyes "I just... I wish we could bring you along with us" he said while looking to Tom who was looking to me, I turned to him and saw tears streaming down his skin

"oh Tom-" I stood taking him into my arms letting his face go to the crook of my neck "its okay- you're okay"

"I-i'm gonna miss you so much" he whimpered to me his hands clinging to me "I don't wanna leave you Y/n" he whispered

"I know" I breathed pressing a kiss to his cheek "I'm going to watch all your interviews though, and anything I find of your band and I'll try come to a few shows I promise" Bill came over and hugged me along with his brother and my arms curled around the two as we all really excepted it was happening

"darlings- lets get a last photo together, for memories" my mom's smooth voice broke us apart and I stood between the two still crying with a painful hiccup every few seconds but smiling non the less "okay 1...2...3" the camera flashed a few times before she started to well up "beautiful, you... you three need to go to school no...now" her voice broke "Y/n I'll see you after and... oh boys" she sighed as the two came to her arms again "love you two so much"

"love you Y/M/N" they answered coming away and taking a breath "ready?" Tom looked to me giving his hand which I took and I said goodbye to my mom and walked out the house for the last time with them.

∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　　∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　

1-3rd period flew by and three o'clock was near approaching, our last class together was music which is were we all first met, Tom was already sat at the table when me and Bill walked in from our last lesson and we pulled out chairs out from the desk "last hour" Bill spoke looking to his brother who nodded "I think we get to finish our pieces today- I need the paper" Bill rose and went to the teachers desk leaving me and Tom

"you okay?" I spoke shuffling my chair closer to him and he just shook his head "same, b..but we need to just enjoy this okay- I love you so much" I whispered hitting his leg with my foot

"love you too" a smile appeared to his lips as he playfully kicked me back laughing as I missed my shot "idiot" he spat seeing me huff in annoyance

"got the papers!" Bill cheered coming back and placing the sheet music in front of us, our song 'all I wanted', I was singing along with Bill who was playing the piano and Tom was doing acoustic guitar for the background "okay so we need to practise the end bit and Y/n you can do the 'you' bit okay the really long one" I nodded listening to him speak over what we both had to do, through his speech I felt Toms hand search under the table for mine so quickly when I realised I grabbed his palm and held it under the table giving him the 3 squeeze 'I...Love...you'

Time flew by and it got to our time to perform, we stood in from of our class and teacher who was smiling "before we begin, this is Tom and Bills last day with us before they leave to go on tour! congratulations boys so this people is like a free concert, along with Y/n of course" hearing another person say it was their last day hit my heart in a way I didn't know it could be hit and my eyes teared up "ready?" we all nodded and started our song , throughout the song I could feel a pair of eyes on my side, Tom who sat with a proud smile as I actually hit the note with a tear falling from my eye and then hearing gasps from the class

"all I wanted was you!" we ended and the crowd before us applauded, our teacher clapping too, we all hugged before going to our seats, me and Bill highfived as we sat down and I quickly rubbed the tears from my eyes Tom through me a wink and then the bell sounded meaning time for last lesson where I'm with neither of the boys "I'll see you outside" I turned to the two who nodded and Bill was pulled into a conversation with our teacher and Tom turned to me

"we'll be picked up by this bus thing and Georg and Gustav will be in there so if you wanna say goodbye to them too you can" he smiled wrapping his one arm over my shoulders

"great more crying" I giggled leaning to his arm "I don't want you to go Tom" my voice was calm but inside I was falling apart already

"I don't wanna either... mhh- want me and Bill to walk you to your lesson for the last time? like the old times" he spoke changing the subject before we both started to cry again

"yeah...yes please"

∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　　∞༺♥༻✧✧༺♥༻∞　

"have a good weekend everyone!" my teacher announced meaning it was our time to leave, I hurriedly grabbed my things and rushed out the room and sprinted down the corridor to the outside where I could see a mass of people and camera's pointed to two people and a tall man, fuck

"move! please move!" I shouted shoving the crowd as I realised it was Tom and Bill being escorted to the bus that was taking them away "BILL! WAIT BILL PLEASE WAIT" I screamed before finally getting out of the sea of bodies seeing him turn around to me and I rushed into his arms "I'm gonna miss you Bill- fuck I don't want you to leave me here, but do us all proud okay?"

I felt another pair of hands try to pry me away "excuse me ma'am" it was their bodyguard which Bill quickly brushed away before bringing me close again

"we will call- every day, I'll miss you so much- do us proud here too! you'll be amazing okay? come to our shows to see us, scream us I'll know its you okay?" I nodded as tears fell down our cheeks "bye Y/n/n" I sobbed hearing him say it

"bye Billy" I spoke before he let go and I saw Tom rush toward me and I just jumped to his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck and crying into his skin "I love you so much Tom- I love you so so much, you'll do amazing out there, and call me okay- please call me my love and...and don't forget about me " I cried to him and I felt his chest stutter

"I will baby I promise I'll call every night, I'm so sorry we need to go, I love you so much my sweet girl, I promise I will visit when I can and I'm telling you now I wont forget you- how could I?" we pulled apart but still in each others arms "I love you so fucking much baby- so much"

"I love you Tom" we forgot about the crowd and our lips pressed together, it was a kiss I never wanted to leave because I knew leaving it meant I had to let go of him, my boy- I could taste our tears mixing on our lips as we breathed unsteadily before the horn of the car honked "you'll be so good out there... I love you Tom- I love you so much"

"fuck I love you so much Y/n"

we hugged once more before he climbed into the van, I quickly waved to Georg and Gustav who sat patting Tom's back as I watched him sob into his hands, Bill held a heart up as the engine purred awake "DO YOURSELF AND US PROUD AND I PROMISE I'LL COME SEE YOU GUYS- LOVE YOU SO MUCH" I yelled as the began to drive, Tom blew me a kiss before they began to speed up down the road and then they were gone and I just the tears slide down my face until mom showed up coming out the car and wrapping me in a hug "they're gone- they're gone mom" I welped

"I know darling- I know" she held me so tight and brushed the tears from my face "you'll see them again- all of them, and they'll make us all so happy- trust me"

[ilovebokutokoutaro]

Rebound

Minho x reader

Warnings: well angst obviously, no happy ending, breakup, idk if i missed any but this one is light ig

Oh you hated it, the way he instantly pushed his head down, the way his mouth opened to get in a little sharp breath, the way his hands tightened to fists, the way he turned away and all the while you watched, there was only one question in your head. 'Why can he not look at her?'

Right. You wouldn't ever understand, they had something you had pretended you both had too for so long, she left him astray and you couldn't help but doubt if he loved you or were you just a rebound, just a bandaid over his bleeding wounds, barely containing him from going insane and merely there to keep him sane.

Was that all you meant to him in the end? You were too afraid to ask, because the answer wouldn't be the one you needed but the one he wanted. "Minho" you called and watched him shut his eyes watched him exhale past the tears building up in the eyes you sought comfort from. "Minho!" You called again and he flinched, answering without meeting your eyes.

"yes, love" he gritted his teeth at the name and you followed with a gulp.. "can we leave....please?" You asked and he nodded getting up without facing you once, he bid goodbyes to his friends and there were nothing but awkward glances towards you by them.

You wanted to hide, laughing at how the only man you had loved your whole life embarrassed you to death in front of people he deemed to be his best friends, everyone could see it. The way minho's breathes sharpened as she entered the big room and you had decided you've had enough when he left without even glancing at you.

"goodbye" you smiled knowing everyone is the room had an idea that you'd be meeting them for the last time today. The ride home was long and you hated staying in the same car as him. You could feel embarrassment bubbling up and tingling in your whole body and shuddered, catching your lover's, or was he? Attention for the first time in the night.

"what's wrong?" He asked and you chuckled satirically, "what's wrong?" You mocked him and he frowned barely paying attention to the road anymore, it was empty either way and with how embarrassed you felt you'd rather just jump outside on the empty road than stay with him.

"should've looked at yourself when she entered the room." Oh pathetic way to start, very pathetic. "What?" He snapped and you couldn't hold it in anymore. "You fucking teared up in front of the whole room, you were shivering minho. If that is how big of an effect she has on you..then why the fuck am i here?" You asked, looking at him after so long you barely recognised him.

"that is not true." He stated gulping, oh he knew it was. It was everything but a lie, you were right and he hated it. "It's not her, it's just the things that happened between us y/n you shouldn't assume." He defended. "Yeah after a year if all that still affects you i support you, no i really do if you were almost on the verge of weeping from the bad memories I'm here minho. But tell me is that all??? Really? Does she mean nothing to you?" You questioned and minho turned towards you in haste, pulling the car to a stop.

"yes, she means-" he stopped when his eyes met yours, you were looking at him so desperately barely containing the tears. "Please minho is that true she means nothing to you?" You asked again, a tear falling past your eyes, you made no effort wiping it when the look you dreaded crossed his face. "Y/n..." He started trying to grab your hand but you pulled away.

"if what you say is true, why? Why does everyone look at me like I'm the one who means nothing when she's there? why can't you answer my question? Why do you tear up at the sight of her? Does she really mean nothing...or am i the one who means nothing?" You interrogated, accusing him of things he knew were too true to be declined.

"no i swear-" he gulped. "I swear she means nothing to me" he stated, avoiding your eyes, big mistake. and you sobbed watching the lie seeping through his eyes. "no. Don't lie, look at yourself." You cried and he lowered his head. Eyes tearing up at the situation. "I'm sorry.." he started and you laughed. "sorry? After a fucking year? You tell me you're sorry after a year of being together? I gave you time minho. So much time. But this is it. You leave me at a hotel for today, I'll come to gather my stuff tomorrow." You sighed, wiping away your tears. Comforting yourself with the thought that you could cry alone after he's gone, everything hitting you off at once.

Oh you did not want to breathe anymore. You did not want to be here either. Minho's ex girlfriend had cheated on him and you were best friends with both of them, not only did you lose your best friend but you were somehow pulled to love minho knowing he was and never will be over her.

He didn't cheat, yeah. But nor was he ever over her. Not when he couldn't cut her off his life after more than a year of breakup, not when he would still shiver at the sight of her, as his best friend you understood but as his girlfriend you hated him. You hated him to the core.

And when you were alone in the hotel room sobbing so hard you couldn't breathe, maybe then it occurred to you that you were nothing but a rebound, a pathetic, useless rebound to minho. Maybe that's why you stayed up the whole night crying, and maybe that's why nothing in your life felt worth it anymore. But one thing you knew was, you'd be past this, maybe life was as mean to you as it could be but you knew you'd be over it and maybe this time the one holding your hand wouldn't hold it to gather his scattered pieces but because he would scatter without you.

--------

Happyyy newww yeaarr tooo all of youuu thank you for reading🥰🥰💞💞

[band--psycho]

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader - The Funeral

This is my first story for Simon Riley!

I hope you all enjoy this! 💛

Warnings - MW3 spoilers (Don't read unless you want the game spoiled for you), violence, mentions of death, funerals, swearing

“What’s he doin’ here?” Price snarled, his eyes narrowing in Graves’ direction, as the smoke from his cigar left his lips. 

“He shouldn’t be ‘ere,” Ghost stated coldly; his eyes also fixed on Graves. 

“No he shouldn’t,” Y/n agreed, her thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back of her boyfriend's gloved hand in an attempt to sooth him.

They were right; he shouldn’t be here. He had no right, not after everything that happened between Soap and Graves. 

But here he was.  

“But he is,” she continued; squeezing Ghosts hand, pulling his gaze away from Graves to her, his eyes softening almost instantly as he took in a deep breath. 

She knew that Ghost and the rest of the 141 team wanted nothing more than to beat the crap out of Graves.

She wanted that too. She’d give anything to wipe that smug smirk off of his face. 

But she knew she couldn’t, not here. 

None of them could do anything.

Even though Soap was probably cursing them from the afterlife for not doing so. 

“Just ignore him,” Gaz said; noticing the rage building in his friend's eyes.  

“He best keep his distance,” Price replied simply; before heading into the crematorium, followed by Gaz, Y/n and Ghost. 

~~~~

The service was hard, beautiful but hard. When it ended Gaz went with Price to get the car, while Y/n stood outside and waited for Ghost who was still inside saying his final goodbye to Soap.

She knew how close they were.

Even though Ghost would never admit it; Soap was his friend.  His best friend.

As she stood outside, memories of Soap flashed through her mind; reopening the wound of grief all over again, that was until an unwanted voice interrupted her thoughts.

“Y/n, I just wanted to give my condolences to you and the rest of the 141 team,” Graves said, his voice filled with as little sincerity as possible. 

He could act like he cared all he wanted; but everyone at that funeral knew it was a damn lie. Just like when he denied carrying out Shepherd’s orders. 

It was all bullshit. 

But Y/n knew she just had to remain calm and civil. 

Ghost would be outside soon; Price and Gaz would pull up in the car and then they could go and give a toast to their fallen friend. 

“I’ll be sure to pass the message on,” Y/n answered as bluntly as she could, with a small fake smile. 

Like hell she would; but she was hoping that that would be enough to get him to leave her alone. 

To her dismay, it didn’t. 

Graves just hovered around her like a vulture. 

“Why the long face sweetheart?” 

“Why would I be smiling?” Y/n snapped back, the rage clear in her voice. 

“I’m sure Soap wouldn’t want you to be sad,” 

That sentence was enough to tip Y/n over the edge she’d been teetering on since she saw him.

Graves was talking about Soap like he knew him; but he didn’t. 

He didn’t know anything. 

And that's why she punched him. 

Again and again, until Graves was on the floor.

The only reason she stopped was because a pair of familiar gloves hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her off of Graves.

“You don’t know shit about what Soap would want!” Y/n venomously spat, as Ghost placed Y/n behind him. 

“Car. Now.” Ghost ordered lowly in Y/n's ear, pointing at the car that had just pulled up outside. He wasn’t mad at her. 

If anything he was worried. He’d known Y/n for so long and he’d never seen her snap like that; she was always so calm and composed, which just made him want to punch the shit out of Graves; but he didn’t. 

He just took a deep breath and said, “shame about your fall,” before walking to the car. 

“All good?” Gaz asked, turning in his seat slightly, his eyes flicking between Y/n and Ghost with a questioning look.

“Yeah,” Ghost said, his attention solely on Y/n, who hadn’t said a single word since she’d gotten in the car. 

Gently, he reached over to her, taking her hands in his, assessing the small bloody cuts that were on her knuckles.

“Love-”

“I’m fine,” Y/n whispered, interrupting Ghosts words and refusing to meet his gaze, knowing that if she did, all the emotions she’d been keeping in, were going to spill out. 

“Nothings broken,” Ghost assured her, placing her hands back in her lap before he began stroking the back of her neck. 

It was a soothing technique he knew helped Y/n when she was stressed or upset. 

Almost instantly he noticed how her body relaxed and leaned into his touch. 

He could see in her eyes that she was trying to be strong, just like she had been for the last few weeks and he wasn’t about to question her about what happened. 

That could wait. 

He just wanted her to be okay. 

He knew little things like rubbing the back of her neck would help her, so that’s what he was going to continue to do, until she was ready to talk about it. 

“What happened?” Price questioned, his eyes fixed on the road ahead of him. 

“I punched Graves,” Y/n admitted; patiently awaiting the lecture she expected from her Captain. 

What she did wasn’t just out of character it ask was just something that she shouldn’t have done; she knew that, and as much as she hated to admit it, she didn't regret it at all.

Price's eyes glanced up at the rear view mirror, his eyes meeting Y/ns, with a small smirk on his face, “Good.”

(Let me know if you want to be tagged in any future stories involving Ghost -or any other 141 members)

[captainlunaxmen]

Shut it

Charlie Weasley x reader.

A sequel to this

This is a repost since the old blog doesn't work anymore. 🥰Also if you want to be tagged in future Charlie's stories let me know❤️

Summary: it's time for Charlie to get his tattoo completed and the reader to ger the first one.

Warnings: a sad story about a dog.

"Is it gonna hurt... a lot?" I ask worried as I hold Charlie's hand in mine, both of us walking to the tattoo shop, so Charlie can get his arm tattoo completed and I can get my very first tattoo.

"Love... should I remind you?" He asks, chuckling.

"Remind me what?"

"At the battle at Hogwarts" he starts theatrically "you calmly walking towards me, covered in blood, huge wound on your shoulder. Me running towards you, worried sick. I ask 'what happened?!' You answer 'it's just a scratch'. And now you're worried about a little tattoo?" He then laughs, squeezing my hand.

"Oh shut it. I just..." I stutter with a chuckle "Yeah... okay, you're right"

"As always, my sweet love" he says proudly.

-----

"You like the placement?" The artist asks me, motioning for me to look in the mirror.

I look first in the mirror at my reflected forearm and how the dog paw drawing, then directly at it and nod.

"Alright, dear, now sit get comfy and if you want me to stop just say so" she tells me sweetly.

I do as she said, Charlie right next to me smiling, his tattoo all done looks even better now.

"Still nervous?" He asks me.

"Nah... maybe a little" I answer with a nervous chuckle.

"It's gonna be fine, love. You can hold my hand if you're so scared" he sweetly mocks me.

"Shut it" I laugh waving his hand away.

"Ready?" The tattoo artist asks me.

"Yeah" I nod.

She starts to ink my skin.

It's a weird feeling, it doesn't hurt, but it's not that good either, so I just take deep breath.

"Why the paw?" Charlie suddenly asks me.

"Uh?" I ask confused.

"Why did you choose a paw?" He repeats.

"Oh... uhm... when I was younger, before getting my letter I had a dog." I start to tell, looking at Charlie "a cute, crazy little collie. He followed me everywhere. Everywhere. Remember I told you about this little pond close to where I lived? I always went there, playing, imagining to be a warrior, a magician, little did I know I actually was one." I chuckle at the memory "Anyway... I was also very clumsy, and there was always a high chance for me to fall into said pond and my dog always managed to prevent that. He was my protector basically."

"Sounds like the best of dogs" Charlie comments, moving his hand to hold mine.

"He was..." I take a shaky breath, tears starting to form in my eyes, but I blink them away "he really was. He died after during my third year... after Christmas, before I had to get back to Hogwarts."

I can't help it, some tears fall down my face and Charli is quickly to wipe them away.

"He wanted to see you. Say goodbye properly, uh?" He tells me.

"Yeah... and yeah... he was my best friend. You know... whenever I get a letter or something from my parents they always sent a piece of paper with his paw print." I sadly laugh.

"That's really sweet, love" he tells me.

"You know how I called him?" I smile.

"How?" He asks curious.

"Dragon"

"No way"

"Yap. The very first day we got him he stole my favourite blankie, the one with dragons on it. So that was it" I explain.

"How perfect" Charlie kisses my hand "how perfect"

"All done" the lady suddenly says.

Charlie and I turn our head to her, I look down at my arm, the fresh ink on my skin looks absolutely perfect.

"Wow" is all I can say.

She wraps my fresh tattoo and tells me how to take care of it.

"Thank you"

"Thank you, have a good day!" She waves at us as we leave the shop.

"You like it?" Charlie asks me as we hold hands and walk.

"It's freaking perfect." I say "what about yours?"

"Oh mine? It's still misses something" he answers with a smile.

"What?"

"Well... I got almost everyone from my family, except one" he shrugs.

"Who's missing?" I ask, confused.

"You, my love." He simply answers.

"Oh shut it" I slightly shove him, he holds my hands tighter pulling me closer to him.

"You shut it" he says before kissing me.

[blingblong55]

Autumn Leaves- Simon 'Ghost' Riley

GN!Reader, angst, character death, platonic!relationship

Another day another life Passes by just like mine It's not complicated

It hasn't been the best year for the task force. Losing someone they knew for years, losing themselves in the process. Missing someone they wish they shared one last word with. Questions cloud their minds, heart aches make this autumn worse than the last. Maybe if their friend stayed longer, maybe if their comrade was not a soldier, maybe, just maybe. Not being there, seeing them become the husbands and fathers they all joked about, the last words they gave the other when they thought they'd die back in those missions, what fools were they to believe their friend would be the first one out.

Who would be there to see their kids grow? Who would be the one to keep them in shape if not their friend. Why must this person leave so soon? The tea wasn't even out yet. Stay a little longer, for the sake of our hearts.

The last mission, what a dick move was it to leave their battle buddy out there alone. If all had gone better, the one person who saw them drink and dance would see them do it once more. The designated driver, the one who looked after them, why couldn't they stay?

"You think I'll make it past 40?"

"Not a chance."

You and him laugh and he nods. "It'd be nice if we both did," you add. He nods and looks back at the smoky night sky, his cigarette being the only reason you can see the scar from his childhood. Your gaze is now on the stars. You always looked at the little detail of the others in the team. The scar Gaz got from a shit driving by the mountains, Soap and the scar on his eyebrow, are the only reason why you took him so seriously. Price and the scar on his shoulder, the one he got when he saved you from the gunfight.

But when you turn back to look at him, you only see him walk away. "Leaving so soon, sir?" you ask and he nods, "Best if I get some beauty sleep." You chuckle, "Better sleep for a century then."

"Oi, I'm not so bad lookin' kid," he smirks, loving the banter between you two.

"Look in a mirror, sir." you chuckle and he flips you off.

Another mind Another soul Another body to grow old It's not complicated

Maybe if one fought for the other that night, the one who is now gone would have at least left leaving some memories for the new recruits. A lie that still keeps four people awake at night. Would the dead come back like the movies say? Would their beloved friend be back if some potion or if Victor Frankenstein were to be real, could their friend be back? Sew them limb for limb, do the most to just hear them say a proper goodbye. Why must this world be cruel to those who try to keep every civilian safe by sacrificing their own sanity? Why must their comrade be gone so soon?

Do you ever wonder if the stars shine out for you? Float down Like autumn leaves Hush now

"When I was a kid, me and my brother Tommy had those glow-in-the-dark stars up on the ceiling. Before my father would barge in the room to scare me, me and him actually bonded." He says as he sits next to you on the cold field. "You think maybe he is somewhere out there?" You look back to the sky. "Yeah, I'm sure he is, always told me he'd be around to bother me." from his lips a chuckle escaped.

If I had stayed, maybe we'd still have these conversations and not me talking to your graves.

"Soap, you snipe, Gaz get those communications going, Ghost, you and R/N get on that field and show them what we are known for." Price orders and then prepares himself for the old field.

Is it that it's over or do birds still sing for you? Float down Like autumn leaves Hush now

----

"Today, we are gathered to celebrate and mourn the life of a friend, comrade and the best goddamn soldier I had the privilege to work with." Price wipes his tears as he looks at the room full of people who know mourn with him.

"To me, Simon Riley was not just another soldier, he was a brother, or as I called him, my son. I met him days after the tragedy of his family and that day I swore I would protect this kid from the shit of the world and I stand here today saying I failed at the one promise I made as his then sergeant." His lips quiver. Soap and Gaz have an arm around you, keeping you or at least trying their best to calm you down.

The day you lost him, is still a blur. But what he said to you, will forever live with you. "R/N, I'm not a strong soldier, I fear so much and right now I fear I'm dying alone." his voice was weak as you heard over the radio. The run to him, the mud and cuts you had to just get to him, also live with you.

"Somewhere, in some place in Manchester, the soul of the greatest man I will ever know now roams the streets," Price pauses to gain composure. His voice breaks every now and then, "Somewhere he is teaching his nephew how to play football, his mother makes tea, to..." he stops again and wipes more tears away, "his mother makes tea, to celebrate the welcome his son. His brother sits on the green grass, watching his older brother bond with his nephew. And somewhere between the lines, he knows peace."

You get up and walk away, needing fresh air. "Simon was known as Ghost, and it pains me to say, that Ghost he will remain. But one thing changed, today, he doesn't reunite with his father, no but today I lost my...my son." Price looks at the coffin. "The men and women he worked with, they know he left a piece of him in each one of us. After 32 years of life, he can finally rest because he is the only one who truly deserves rest." His voice cracks again. "So, as we end this celebration of the man he was, I ask of you to think of him for who Simon was not for who Ghost is."

Ooh how I miss you My symphony played the song that carried you out Ooh how I miss you And I, I miss you and I wish you'd stay

You walked alongside the broken-down pavement, going hysterical. You swear you hear him call for you when the wind blows but all you have now is the dog tags of the man you called family. Hours before you had to pretend you were fine, you screamed and sobbed. "My fault, my fucking fault." you cried on your knees. The home he once brought you and the team to is now empty and haunting you with his smell. The walls with little to no decorations, the coffee stain on the counter, the empty office chair. The home he was Simon in, was now occupied by dust and old memories.

They say life is cruel to those who are nice and today, that saying became a fact in your life. Soap no longer had a battle buddy, Gaz had no mentor, Price had no older son, and R/N had no lifelong friend to turn to when shit hit the fan. And as you watched his coffin get lowered, you once more swore he called for you. One more fear was added when you watched Soap and Gaz hug each other. That fear is now losing them too. Price walked away from that moment, and you feared you would lose him too. No one can fear losing you because with Ghost now gone, you are now lost.

Touch down Like a seven four seven Or stay out and we'll live forever now

Tags: @liyanahelena @warenai @ghostslittlegf (tagged bc I know you live and cry for angst<3

[mggsv]

Memory of You

gn!reader x spencer reid (angst)

summary: the memory of you lived vividly in Spencer’s mind. your scent, your smile, your tears. he’s never forgotten you, despite how long it’s been since your death.

warnings: dark themes, talk of murder, mention of masturbating

( if you find any of these to be triggering please do not proceed! )

Spencer is schizophrenic

It’s been over 10 years since he last touched you. He misses you, you know? He thinks of you everyday, hoping to find you lying in bed next to him, and not the memory of you that taunted him instead.

His morning was the same everyday:

Spencer would wake up at 5 am, another nightmare of that night. He never really got over it, you know? He’d lie in bed staring at the ceiling as he blinked away the sleep from his eyes painfully. After an hour or so he’d finally sit up to feel the empty spot in the bed next to him..

it still has the memory of you too, how you’d sink into the comfortable mattress..the outline of your body lay there, and that was good enough for Spencer. He’d smile and take a deep breath: your scent still lingered somewhere in the room, he didn’t know where, but he loved that it was still there.

After stretching he’d take a nice warm shower, masturbating to the thought of the last time you were there together with him. Oh how he wish he could see you now.. When his shower’s done he gets ready for work. Spencer owned and worked at his own little thrift store nearby his house. He was never really the same after your death. Soon afterwards he was fired from his job at the BAU.

It was a tough loss, but he couldn’t bare the pain of your absence, and they couldn’t handle Spencer threatening his coworkers even if it was unintentional. He was on the edge of falling apart. Until he found the building. You’d always wanted your own shop together. To start off business, Spencer placed in his own older clothes and shoes, as well as taking generous donations from his ex coworkers. It was a great start, and another goodbye as he cut his friends off afterwards.

While making breakfast, Spencer always say a plate for you, too. He missed those moments where you’d cook breakfast together, which always ended up with you being seated first. And as per the routine, he heard your sweet voice call out to him…. “What’s for breakfast today Spence?”

He became used to the memory of you appearing before him at breakfast. When it first started he’d cry and hyperventilate, now he’d smile and close his eyes, thankful that you still hung onto him as well.

“Loaded omelette! And..maybe biscuits? Do we have any more love?” He glanced over at you, smiling softly. You were perfect, head to toe. Your memory so vivid he could feel the realness radiating from your frame. “You” had gotten up to check the fridge, looking high and low before nodding. “Spence..they’re gonna burst if you keep them in such a tight space. And don’t forget to clean the fridge and organize it.”

“Of course- I always do.” He walks over to grab the biscuits while booping your nose. “I’m very responsible.”

When Spencer’s done with breakfast, he serves you and himself. The rest of that morning is quiet. It was around 12 when your figure would stop talking, only staring at Spencer while he got ready to walk out of the door, sadly. He hated this time of the morning- leaving you all by yourself. He didn’t want you to be alone. Ever since that moment..

“I have to go now love, i’ll be back though, okay?” He pursed his lips as he stared at you. Tears began to well in his eyes as you nodded, silent. “I love you.” He says. Spencer tries to swallow the lump forming in his throat. His throat ran dry, and his heart beat picked up a slightly faster pace.

He hasn’t cried in a while. It was big improvement, but this morning.. He couldn’t stop the tears from falling down his face. Wiping at them aggressively he tried his best to be strong. For you, he tells himself, it’s what you would have wanted, and yet his sobs echoed throughout the empty house. For once in over 10 years Spencer remembered he was truthfully alone, and the the silhouette of your body didn’t have a shadow. You weren’t real. The you before him wasn’t real.

But you were real, and you were his lover, now you’re gone.

—

Once Spencer reached work, he took his medicine for schizophrenia. Although he stopped going to therapy about a year after your death, he still took the prescribed medicine to help ease the memory of you that followed him around.

The morning was a slow one, which Spencer was thankful for. He was able to think a little, on life- the things that happened so long ago. He took a deep breath as the scent of your blood filled his nose. “No..” he shuddered, shaking his head as he tried to ease the memory. The tears that he tried so hard to wipe away that morning were flooding back into his eyes.

He could hear your cries…how you begged while sobbing- calling out to him, needing him by your side.

“Spencer..” He flinched.

“Spence- are you ignoring me?” Your voice sounded angry. With a scoff, you repeat yourself, louder.

“..No, i’m sorry love.” He whispered, opening his eyes to find the store empty for all but him and yourself, who sat on the counter where he worked. “What are you doing here? I told you I’d be back-“

“Why’d you do it Spencer?” For that time, in that moment, Spencer hadn’t looked at you. Seemingly, the medicine was not working for him that day. His hands shook nervously, fumbling with the hem of his sweater- one you had got him actually. It was years ago when you first decided you wanted to own a thrift store with him.

…How his face lit up at the thrifted sweater you had found, perfectly fitting his body. It was stripped with a pumpkin on it. You knew how much he loved halloween.

“Answer me.” you demanded. He sniffled, trying to blink the tears away. “I’m sorry I-“

“That’s not good enough, Spence…not anymore.”

“How about we talk about this at home, hm? Somewhere private- the shops still open.” he rushes out, eyes glancing around the empty store. The sky was getting darker, and thunder struck. It started to rain.

The soft beats of the rain hit the store windows in a soothing pattern. Spencer would have enjoyed it if you weren’t there, angry.

“Why’d you kill me, Spence?”

You began to sob. “Stop..” He whispered hands clasping over his ears. “Please stop- love-“

“Why didn’t you stop?”

“I’m sorry, please-“

“I begged, and i begged for you to stop! I just couldn’t understand why my husband wanted me dead all of a sudden.” you spat, and that’s when he looked at you.

“No..” Your body was covered in blood, deep cuts littering your arms and legs. Your hair was wet and dripping, and there were tears streaming down your face, but you weren’t crying, not anymore.

“I was so scared Spencer..” He shakily left from around the counter, backing away from you, who seemed to get closer and closer with every step. “Get the fuck away from me-“

“I was alone.” You watched as he inches closer towards the door, afraid. “You killed me, and you were smiling Spence.”

He runs out of the door, out into the rain.

Truthfully, Spencer loved you. He’d do anything for you, he’d told himself back then, even now he would too. He ran and ran, the rain beating against his face. Still, he could hear you in his head. The thoughts made him sick. He promised he wouldn’t hurt anyone else, not when you came along.

You were perfect, beautiful , everything Spencer could ask for. Everything was perfect…

He couldn’t answer himself after he’d done what he’d done. He couldn’t give a straight answer to his teammates when it happened either, when he’d framed another for your mishap. And surely, Spencer still couldn’t answer to you, when he slipped from the bridge, seeing your figure standing from where he fell.

[kittykat-25]

One Of The Guys - Part 9

Pairings: Hongjoong x F! Reader, Chan x F!Reader

Genre: idol au, Friends x Lovers, angst

Warnings: Feminine pet names(Doll, Cupcake, bubs, Pretty Girl) Alcohol Consumption(drink responsibly) Mean implication(slut)

Summary: You tried really hard not to be a cliché, falling love with your best friend. How unoriginal. But when your best friend is Kim Hongjoong what are you supposed to do?

Now Playing: One Of The Guys- Jessia

A/N: Part 9 picks up directly where part 8 ended🩷 enjoyyyyy

“I think I’m in love with her.” Hongjoong called after them.

Mingi stared at his friend, “No.” was his reply before turning around and walking away. Leaving Wooyoung and Hongjoong staring at each other. “Woo please. I get you don’t think I deserve her” he started, voice shakey. Wooyoung cut him off, “No! I know you don’t deserve her. Keep whatever revelation you think you had to yourself and leave Y/n out of it. She is happy and I don’t care if you are my captain or my brother. If you ruin this for her I will never forgive you. And neither will she.” He turned on his heel and walked away. Leaving Hongjoong standing there alone. Staring up at your window, apartment dark he wonders if he has ruined whatever already small chance he had to be with you. Turning and following behind his members he failed the see the other man sprinting back towards your building.

Three days later

You walked towards your apartment door completely drained. As you got closer you saw the bouquet of flowers sitting on your mat. Staring down at the beautifully arranged flora you didn’t need to read the card to know who had sent them. Picking them up and setting them beside the ones that arrived yesterday you threw the card in the trash. Not bothering to read whatever apology Hongjoong had crafted this time. Your mind replayed the call you made to Chan after you heard Wooyoung and Mingi leave on repeat.

Curled up in your floor sobbing. “Miss me already pretty?” Chan said into the phone. You sniffled and, “can you come back please.” A sob racked through your body. “I’m on my way baby.” He said and you ended the call. You opened the door for Chan and were immediately engulfed in a hug. “What happened?” He asked voice soft, wiping the remaining tears that fell down your cheeks. “Hon-Hongjoong was here when I got home. Him and Wooyoung and Mings.” Chans eyes darkened, “what happened.” He asked again, his voice a hair angrier than before. You shook your head, his eyes softened and he pulled you tighter to him, running a hand down your booth in soothing motions. “It’s alright pretty girl. I’m here now, I’m not going anywhere.” He kept murmuring into your hair, pressing kisses into your head after every word.

You shake your head trying to physically get the memories away from you. You pull your phone out of your pocket as you drop your bag. 32 missed calls from Hongjoong. Rolling your eyes you scroll past them and find Wooyoung’s name. Hitting the call button you wait for the ring, ready to leave a voicemail. “Hey bubs!” He says as he answers. “Hey! I thought yall would be working.” Wooyoung laughed, “calling just to hear my voice.” “More like too lazy to text all I want to complain about right now.” You said as you made your way through the apartment. “Can you please tell him to drop it. I don’t want anymore flowers. I don’t want to speak to him. 32 calls Woo. That’s ridiculous.” You groan into the phone.

Wooyoung looks up and locks eyes with his leader, shaking his head slightly. “I’ll do my best bubs. Still on for dinner Friday before we leave?” You smiled, “of course. Like I’d miss seeing my boys before you leave to go overseas.” Wooyoung gave Mingi a grin and nodded his head. “I’ll let the guys know you don’t hate all of us.” Seonghwa slapped the back of Wooyoung’s head, “OW” “I don’t hate anyone Wooyoung. I’m just done dealing with his tantrums.” You said quietly. “Anyways I’ll leave yall to your break. Be safe!” Wooyoung said his goodbyes and hung up.

Turning to look at his leader. “This is borderline harassment.” He seethed. “Wooyoung don’t start. We have to go on stage soon.” Seonghwa stated. Wooyoung bowed slightly at his oldest member. Eyes cutting towards Hongjoong. “What did she say? Does she forgive me?” He asked softly. Mingi rolled his eyes, “she sick of the flowers you have delivered everyday. She ignores your calls. Does it seem to you like you’ve been forgiven.” San in the back started singing Unforgiven under his breath making Wooyoung laugh. “Alright that’s enough. We have to be on stage in 30 minutes. Keep all of your thoughts to yourself unless it applies to our music. I am sick of this.” Seonghwa said sternly cutting his eyes at the three men.

As you walked into your apartment building the next day you found security guards standing beside someone at the desk. The doorman waved you over, as you walked that way Hongjoong came into focus. “What did you do?!?” You asked looking between him and the security officer. “He was hanging out outside your apartment. Your neighbor called down here.” “Where’s your key you idiot?” You asked Joong. He looked up at you sheepishly, “Wooyoung stole it.” You rolled your eyes. You were going to kill these boys. “He’s fine, he just can’t keep up with a key apparently.” You told the guard as they let Hongjoong stand. You said thank you and started walking towards the step, Hongjoong falling in line with you.

As you shut the door behind you, motioned towards the table, “why are you here?” You asked as you set your stuff down. “I wanted to apologize.” He said staring at you intently. “You have about ten minutes to do so before Chan gets here for dinner.” You stared pulling out ingredients waiting for him to talk, “are you happy?” He asked quietly. You stopped and looked at him, “very. Why?” “I’m sorry about what I said. I just don’t like the idea of you getting hurt.” He said. You started at him, “and yet you’re the only one that has hurt me lately.” you calmly. Your door buzzed and you heard Hongjoong sigh. “He’s early.” You glared at him and buzzed Chan in.

You opened the door to find Chan with bags full of groceries, “hey pretty girl!” He said cheerfully. You smiled at him, “hey, Hongjoong is here by the way.” You added quietly motioning towards your table. Chan glanced at the boy sitting there before looking back at you. He smiled and walked inside. “How’s the comeback going?” He asked Joong as he pulled groceries out of the bag for you. “It’s good. We leave for Japan Sunday.” Hongjoong replied, colder than he had been with you. As you finished taking groceries out, Hongjoong still sitting at the table, small talk passing between the men.

You looked at Joong and motioned for the door. “We can talk about this more Friday, you should go.” He nodded and glanced at Chan. “You’re still coming for family dinner Friday right.” You unlocked the door, pulling it open. “I told Woo and Mingi I’d be there. I’d like to see my friends before they leave.” He nodded and walked out. You said goodbye and shut the door before he could apologize again.

As you walked back towards Chan, resting your forehead against his back. “Want to talk about it?” He asked, the vibrations of his voice sending warmth down your body. “He was being held by security when I got home. Wooyoung stole his extra key after last time.” Chan nodded, leading you towards the living room. He turned on the tv, picking your music app, chuckling when Stray kids albums were the first to pull up.

Laughing you buried your head in his chest, “so supportive of us baby.” He cooed into your ear making you blush. He slowly spun you around the living room, tapping the beat of the song gentle down your spine. “This is not usually a slow dance song.” You said as he spun you to the fast rapping of Han. “Really, I could change it to Taste?” He asked smirking. “Or red lights? Or drive? Ohhh what about Connected!” You said reaching to change the song, Chans whole face turned red, he pulled you tight against him, forehead pressed against yours. “I like this song, let’s leave it here.” He mumbled. You laid your head on his chest, letting him spin you around your living room.

As Hongjoong stared up at your window watching you laugh with Chan he felt his heart clenching. When had he completely lost you? He tore his eyes away as Chan lifted your face to kiss you. Not being able to look, Hongjoong turned and walked towards his dorm. Wondering where he went wrong and brainstorming ideas to win you back. Whether his brothers wanted to help or not.

Friday night you knocked on the door to Seonghwas dorm, smiling at the older boy when he opened it. “Y/n!” He said pulling you into a hug. “Hi Hwa! I’ve missed you!” You replied. He ruffled your hair leading you into the kitchen where Wooyoung and Mingi were cooking. “Let’s get this show on the road. We need to be in bed by 10 at the latest.” Hwa called out as he walked into the living room. You gave the two boys hugs, missing their comfort and safety these past few weeks. “I have a movie night with the kids after this but Channie says to take our time. No rush.” You said quietly.

Mingi smiled at you, “it’s going well then?” You busied yourself with cutting vegetables, “I really really like him. He’s everything you could possibly want in a guy.” Wooyoung cooed at you, “y/ns in loveeee” you smacked his arm, “I’m not! He’s just great and this is the first time I’ve felt like this and it be reciprocated.” You said looking down. Mingi patted your head, “maybe Channie Hyung is in loveee too.” You elbowed him away and kept chopping up the veggies for Wooyoung.

As the night went on you texted Chan to keep him updated on when you’d head that way. Curled up on the couch talking to Wooyoung and Mingi your phone started ringing, Chans name popping up making you smile immediately. “Hey baby, I’m going to send Minho to come pick you up. It’s cold and I don’t want you walking too much in the dark. If that’s alright?” You smiled, “of course. Is there a reason you’re not coming?” You asked knowing the answer, as Felix has sent you pictures earlier of Chan and Hyunjin doing shots of who knows what. “I had some drinks so I can’t drive. But Minho will get you here safely. He said he’d text you when he was there.” You thanks Chan and told the guys. Seonghwa excited to see his old friend, told Minho to just come up when he got here.

Minho and Han got there 20ish minutes later, grateful to have then walk you down. You knew Hongjoong was out but you didn’t like the chances of you facing him alone. After the other night you didn’t know what to say to your friend anymore. As you said your goodbyes and walked out the door you felt something shift. Your anxiety coming to the surface. You chalked it up to being alone with Chans friends and nerves. Even though you knew Minho and had been around Han multiple times. The three of you were walking towards the stairwell when the door opened and Hongjoong stepped out. He stopped when he saw you, a smile forming at your company. Minho put his hand at your back, gently coaxing you forward with Han.

Han bowing slightly at Joong as you passed him, “I see you easily got all of them wrapped around your finger?” You stiffened, already anticipating the next words out of his mouth. As they had been spoken towards you repeatedly over the years when you were out with all of Ateez. “How long before you’re wrapped around them at night? Mhm y/n?” he asked. You had started shaking, Han tugging you closer, pulling you gently towards the door away from Hongjoong. Minho stepped in front of you, putting distance between you two. “Careful Hongjoongie, I don’t have the patience that Chan has. So consider what you are implying about Y/n.” Han carefully pulled you away, not giving you a chance to hear Joongs response. Turning your head you saw Minho following behind you, a smug smile on his lip but pure rage in his eyes. “Let’s go.” He said as he wrapped an arm around you and lead you down the stairs.

Hongjoong staring after you with wide eyes and a frown etched on his face. Standing still until the door shut, shaking him from his thoughts. He shook his head, why would he say that to you. He turned around and found Wooyoung, Mingi and Hwa all staring at him. “Joong, why would you say that to her?” Hwa asked, the disappointment visible on his face. “You know how that affects her.” He adds, shaking his head at his friend. Hongjoong looked down and noticed that Hwas arm had been placed strategically on the door frame, blocking Mingi and Wooyoung inside.

“I didn’t mean to say it, it just came out. I don’t know what came over me.” Hongjoong said sadly. He heard someone muttering, calling him a prick. He pulled out his phone ready to call you and apologize. He hit the dial button, “the person you are trying to reach is not available.” Hit hit the dial button again. Same message. Third try it didn’t even give him a message just a dial tone and the click. He yelled out in frustration, throwing his phone down the hallways. “Don’t ever try to tell me you love her again.” Wooyoung said as he walked towards their shared apartment door. “You would never intentionally hurt the person you love.” He threw open the door and walked into his bedroom slamming the door shut behind him.

As Minho pulled up to the dorms parking his car, he turned at looked at you. “Do you want to tell Chan Hyung what happened or do you want me too? I understand if you don’t want to repeat what he said.” Minhos voice was sharpe, full of edge but his eyes looking at you were soft, Han was rubbing soothing circles on your back, had been the whole ride over when he noticed your shaking. “I really don’t want to repeat that. I’ve heard it enough from staff and dancers over the years.” You said, voice shaky from holding in your tears.

Minho nodded and undid the seatbelt, throwing up the door he stormed inside. “Do you want to wait out here?” Han asked gently. “How do you think Chans going to react?” You asked, turning to look at the boy. “Channies Hyung is protective and you’re important to him. He’s not going to be happy.” Han said keeping eye contact. “Honestly none of them are going to be happy. We all care about you and it’s not right what he said.” You gave a small nod. Your phone vibrated and you were ready to decline another call when you saw it was from Hwa. “Don’t believe what he said for a second. It’s not true. I’ll talk to him, we all love you . Have a good night.” You smiled at the text and turned your phone off. “Let’s go inside.” You said opening the car door. Letting Han lead you inside the dorms.

Where there was usually yelling and chaos was eerily silent. Han opened the door and you found 5 of the members ears pressed to the door going to Chans room. “What are-“ Han started to ask. “SHHHH” was all you were greeted with as the boys pressed their ears back to the door. You sat down on the couch, pulling your knees to your chest. You heard a small gasp and looked, all heads turned towards you. “That little..” “Changbin No.” Felix said and Changbin tried to make his way to the door. “Please Binnie, it’s fine.” You said patting the couch beside you. “It’s not fine y/n!” Seungmin said plopping down on the other side of you. “Nothing I haven’t heard before. You can’t be friends with a group of guys without people implying things SeungMinnie, it’s okay.” Felix wrapped your body in a hug, “it’s not true though.” You nodded, feeling the tears in your eyes start to trickle down.

Not in sadness but overwhelming love for the boys surrounding you.The door the Chans room flew open, Chan walking out, face red in anger. Felix let go of you as Chans eyes met yours; instantly softening. “Do you want me to say something to him?” He asked, knowing it would affect your relationship with all of Ateez in the process. “No I’ll handle it.” You said. Chan moved towards you and all the other guys gave you both space choosing to follow Minho into the kitchen. Chan sat down, wrapping his arms around you, practically pulling you into his lap. His body was shaking in anger, “channie it’s okay.” He looked towards you, gently tucking a hair behind your ear, “no baby it’s not. I’m so sorry you’ve had to hear that over the years. But I swear you will never hear it towards you as long as I’m around.” You nodded and tucked your head into the curve of his neck.

Chan ran his hands down your back, “Minho might kill him on sight next time.” Chan said. You laughed, “Wooyoung and Mingi might beat him to it.” You said. Hoping they were keeping the peace before they were stuck on a plane together. The rest of the guys came back out and started a movie, you not paying any attention, hyper aware of the glances the members would give you and the way Chans hand never left your body. Feeling safe you laid your head on Chans shoulder and drifted off to sleep. Hoping to calm the voices in your mind repeating what Joong had said over and over again.

A/N: SOOO I’ll be doing a poll soon so be on the lookout for that! I hope you guys are liking this so far!

Sorry this part was so long🩷

TAGLIST🥰

@vampzity @sanslovesblog @sundaybossanova @skzline @edenesth @owmoiralover @scarfac3 @blackb3|| @ateezswonderland @amuromio @the-multishipper @mingisbbokari @chngbbnwf @vic0921 @woosmaid

[novacorpsrecruit]

Better Without You

My other braincell @comicsbi-thebook and I came up with a steddie AU the other day that’s rotting my brain but I do not need another WIP

Steddie Rockstar/Country Star (breakup) AU based on Dixon Dallas’ song Better Without You

Steve and Eddie, who get together after the events of season 4. Eddie was hurt (he may been technically dead for a few minutes), but he’s alive and that’s what matters. He starts to heal over the next few months, Steve by his side, helping Wayne take care of Eddie and falling in love along the way. There were a lot of painful nights — memories, nightmares, wounds that reopened, stitches that ripped, lots of tears and fear that the Upside Down may come back. No matter what happened, Steve was by Eddie side, promising that he wasn’t going to leave him.

Maybe two years pass in their relationship and eddie’s got the record deal of a life time, but that means leaving everything behind. His family, his friends, his life. The agent saw Eddie with Steve and told him that he had to leave him if he wanted the deal. The label wouldn’t sign someone who was queer. This is his only chance on getting out of Hawkins, being known for something other than the town freak that’s accused of a string of murders. This is what he needs.

So he does.

He packs up everything and leaves, barely telling Steve goodbye. Steve is left with a broken heart, a shoebox of pictures and trinkets, and Eddie’s damn acoustic guitar.

He thought about breaking the guitar. Thought about smashing it in the parking lot outside their apartment. taking the broken pieces and lighting it on fire. He tried to return it to Wayne, but Wayne refused. “If he left it, it’s yours.”

Steve let the guitar stay haunting the bedroom, Eddie’s painted words taunting him. Reminding him of what he lost. So he grabs a rag and some alcohol and wipes it clean, removing the words. He learns how to play, stringing chords together and humming along. He learns how to play Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson. And eventually, the pain hurts less. He got a local gig — a paid one — at one of the dive bars, and they kept requesting him to come back.

Eventually, someone important hears him. They offer him a record deal. Steve nearly refused, because of Eddie. Eddie was told to get back in that damn closet if he wanted to break into the industry. Steve refuses to do anything except be himself. If the record wanted him, they’d take him as he is. And the record wanted him, so they agreed to his terms. Out and proud. He signs it and paints his own mark on that damn guitar, known as his signature machine. This machine heals broken hearts.

I hope you miss me when you think about me / and everything we could’ve been / and now you’re nothing but another memory / you know it hurt but in the end / I’m doing better without you, and I know you hate it / I used to think you were the one but you ain’t / no more dancing around it, and I hate to say it / but you damn sure ain’t the one I got away

Steve records a few songs, and instantly they were hits. His song, Better Without You, hit the charts and was played for weeks on the Top 40. Hell, he even broke the top 5.

His lyrics were raw, and any time he preformed the song live, the audience went wild.

I loved you at your worst / you left me at your best / I watched you fade away into the sunset / threw my heart into the dirt / you ripped it from my chest / tried to kill me but I ain’t dying yet

Eddie, known by his moniker MUNSON, is a huge breakout in the metal scene. He’s topped all the metal, rock and alt charts. He’s had a single or two hit the top 40 but most of his fans aren’t from the demographic. He’s done one North American tour with Pantera and he’s rumored to headline his own tour soon. But when he heard about the gay country artist making waves across the charts, he had to take a listen out of curiosity. As soon as the first verse hit, he recognized that voice instantly. He remembers the late nights years ago singing along to Bob Dylan and Bruce Springsteen years ago. He knows the song is about him and it breaks his heart. He hurts because he knows he hurt Steve. He loved Steve, he really did. He still does.

But Eddie’s so proud of what he’s done at an artist.

And he’s terrified to lose that. Terrified to going back to Eddie the Freak. Eddie the Loser. Eddie stuck in the hellhole of Hawkins, Indiana.

So he calls Steve. He finds a way to get in contact with him. Maybe he uses Dustin to help his number, or a way to talk with him.

And maybe Steve’s a little hopeful when they exchange pleasantries and Eddie tells him that he likes the song and he’s proud of Steve for making it and being out.

But then reality comes crashing down. “You wouldn’t …” Eddie starts, trailing off. He’s nervous, worried, afraid. “You wouldn’t out me, would you?”

This wasn’t an apology for breaking Steve’s heart. It’s a plea, begging for Steve not to out Eddie. And Steve can’t help but laugh as he feels his heart break again.

“Who the fuck do you think I am?” Steve laughs, hiding his pain. Hiding the tears that want to slide down his cheeks. “Do you really think I’d do that to anyone? Don’t fucking call me again.”

And maybe the next time he plays Better Without You, he sings some lyrics a little louder, while his heart aches.

I’m glad you came into my life, you really taught me well. / and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. / you showed me the devil ain’t exactly in a place called hell / you were tightly wrapped up in my loving arms.

[callalillywrites]

His Dream Come True

Well, Jake and I agreed that my first version of this story sucked so much. This one is much better though I'm certain it's not quite perfect. I'm going to post it anyway.

This story is a direct follow up to this story.

Based on this song:

Pairing: Jake Jensen/Reader

Word Count: ~3900

Summary: Jake thought he lost his chance with his childhood best friend and love of his life when you get engaged to someone else. Maybe fate has something else planned for the two of you when he comes back into your life in time for your engagement party.

Warnings: none really, some angst to start but fluff at the end

A/N: It's proofread but all mistakes are my own.

I do not give permission for my work to be copied or posted on other sites or fed into an AI machine.

*****

The fancy envelope rested heavily in Jake’s hands.

He didn’t need to open it to know what it contained.

You’d found someone else.

He’d known that would happen eventually, and he couldn’t even blame you. It wasn’t your fault he’d always been too much a chickenshit to tell you how you felt.

That doesn’t stop him from begging Clay to let him leave their latest mission early.

He needed to see you. Even if it was just to say goodbye to you and wish you well, then that would be enough. It would have to be.

As much as he might’ve wanted to stand in front of you and bare his soul to you, he knew he couldn’t do that if you’d found your true love. He couldn’t be that selfish with you.

He kept that promise as he walked into your parents’ home for your engagement party.

You were easy to spot the moment he stepped inside the familiar living room. It was the room where you and he would spend hours playing when he wasn’t dragging you outside. It’s the same room where you would show him all the ideas you had about a perfect wedding. You would even go on to play it out with your many stuffies and have him play your groom every so often.

Oh, how he wished he’d known he would come to relive those moments more often later on. He wouldn’t have pushed you away a few times or wiped your wet kisses off his cheeks.

If he could go back, it wouldn’t be to his youngest self but to his teenage self. He had the chance to actually kiss you after one of his soccer games. You’d been so close to him, and he’d even leaned in. Another teammate ruined the moment, and he’d been too nervous to try again.

His trip down memory lane ended the moment you spotted him.

You said something to the man at your side. Your fiancé, no doubt. Then, you were weaving through your friends and family until you stood right in front of him.

“Jakey?”  Your voice shook while your hand came up, nearly cupping his cheek. It never made contact though as you launched yourself at him, wrapping yourself around him. “I can’t believe you’re here. They told me you died. Should be so mad at you right now, but I’m just so happy you’re alive.”

His arms tightened around you.

When he pulled back, he tugged a small chain from his pocket. “How could anything ever happen to me when I’ve got my good luck charm?”

You gasped at the little rabbit charm you’d bought him before his first deployment. It’d been one of the last things you’d given to him before the two of you went separate ways. You to university and Jake to boot camp.

“You kept that?”

He nodded. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I? You gave it to me.”

You opened your mouth to say something, but the man who’d been at your side before joined the two of you. His arm went around your waist. It wasn’t an act of possession, but it affected Jake in a way he hadn’t been prepared. You were truly not his any longer. Never would he be allowed such liberty with you.

“Oh, Jake, this is Steve, my fiancé. Stevie, this is Jake. He’s been my best friend since forever.”

Jake exchanged a few rather pleasant words with Steve.

As much as he hated it, he couldn’t dislike the man who’d gotten his ring on your finger. Another fellow military guy, Steve left the service a few years before and met you shortly after at a VA event. You’d gotten involved with the VA after Jake joined the military himself. Steve had been the one to help you through your grief over believing Jake was gone.

When Steve’s called away, you hesitate. Your hand does reach up to cup his cheek as you said, “I’m really glad you’re okay. You’re not allowed to ever scare me like again, you hear me?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He shot you what he hoped was a cheeky grin.

The way you shook your head while fighting back a smile, he must’ve succeeded.

As much as he wanted to steal you away and catch up, your other friends and family soon dragged you away from him.

He didn’t leave for a little while as some of your family came up to him and chatted with him, happy to see him alive as well.

At one point, your father pulled him to the side and offered him a stiff drink.

“You look like you could use it, son,” your father said by way of explanation.

Your father and Jake shared the quiet moment, sipping at the dark bourbon and watching the party continue without them for the moment.

“Steve’s a good man. He’ll take real good care of my daughter. It’s all I ever wanted for her,” he said, breaking the silence. When your father’s gaze slid toward Jake, he couldn’t help a small chuckle as he added, “But I can’t say that I haven’t thought I’d be giving her away to you over someone else. I would’ve approved if you had ever made a move. Just so you know.”

Unable to form words, Jake tried and failed to think up anything beyond a shocked, “Thank you, sir.”

He couldn’t possibly imagine what he could say to that information.

Your laugh caught his attention as Steve spun you before dipping you in front of your friends and family. The smile you graced Steve with made the bourbon he sipped settle like a hot jolt of lead in his stomach.

That was a smile he hadn’t seen from you in ages. It wouldn’t be a smile meant for him again.

“Excuse me, sir,” he said, handing your father his half-finished glass. “I, um, I should probably get to my sister’s. She’s expecting me. I’m glad she’s happy.”

He bit his tongue to keep himself from rambling further.

Before he left your parents’ home, he dared a final glance in your direction.

Your gaze was on him, and a small frown appeared across your features.

Not wanting you to ever be upset, he gave you the best impression of a smile that he could muster and a half-hearted wave.

The late afternoon sun burned his eyes, but he didn’t slow his pace to the truck he’d rented. He needed to get away from you and your parents’ home. The memories would forever haunt him. Taunt him with roads not taken.

He doesn’t see you standing at the front door, watching him walking away. Nor does he see the tears that spring to your eyes that you hastily swipe away before Steve can see them. Your fingers begin to play with the engagement ring on your left hand.

*****

Clay had been generous in the time off he gave Jake.

Pulling up to his sister’s home, he soon found himself wrapped up in a tight hug. His sister around his neck and his niece around his waist. Their love helped ease the sadness lingering in him at seeing you so happy with someone else.

“Uncle JJ, you gonna come to my games since you’re back?”

Jake grinned. “Wouldn’t miss them for the world, squirt.”

His sister granted him some mercy then by shooing his niece off so she could settle him into the guest room of their home.

“Oh, I found a box of your old stuff when I was cleaning up the closet in here the other day. Thought you might want it, so I put it over there.” She pointed to the box that was sitting in the small chair situated in front of an antique writing desk she found at a flea market a few years back. She’d been so proud of the find and the plans she had for it, sending them all over several text messages to him.

“Thanks,” he nodded at the box, then gestured to the room, “for everything.”

She left him to settle in then.

It didn’t take him long to unpack as he’d long since learned to pack light. He had his few belongings either hanging in the closet or put away in the small drawers of the dresser.

With nothing else really to do for the moment, he approached the box and popped the folded flaps. Photos and notebooks filled the interior alongside some of his soccer trophies and other memorabilia from his high school years.

The one thing that stood out the most was the pink notebook he’d thought he lost some years ago. It’d been a special secret between him and you. The two of you would write whatever you had on your minds and share them, so others wouldn’t see them.

He recalled the one time one of his teammates had grabbed the notebook and tried to read it. Thankfully, the two of you had used a special language you two had created in your childhood. The two hadn’t bothered with keeping a code of that language, either.

As he sank down on the edge of the bed, he opened up the notebook. The strange words and their actual meanings came back to him as he started reading. Small smiles and several shakes of his head followed along his reading.

Time quickly sped away as he got lost in the notebook and all the secrets the two of you shared.

It wasn’t until he got to the last page that he nearly dropped the notebook.

The last entry was one he hadn’t seen before. It was in your handwriting, too. The date on it was the same day he shipped out.

He read and reread the words until they were forever ingrained in his mind.

I love you, Jake. I’ve always loved you. Come home to me, okay? I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life, now or ever.

You’d confessed, and he’d never seen it until that moment.

His heart twisted while his stomach churned painfully. Burning moisture blurred his vision behind his glasses and soon speckled the lenses.

Did this mean that you thought he hadn’t loved you back?

That thought had him nearly tripping over himself to reach the bathroom. The two bits of finger food he had alongside the bourbon your father had given him came up. That was soon replaced with pure bile that burned his throat. He didn’t have much left before he shifted to dry heaving. It hurt to breathe, and he couldn’t get the vice around his heart to loosen.

He lost track of how long he stayed kneeling over the toilet. His knees shook from their prolonged hold. His hands shook for a different reason, but he didn’t notice as much. He kept clenching and unclenching them to ground himself.

When he could safely say that nothing else would be coming up, he rinsed his mouth out and drenched his face with more water. His skin felt on fire as his thoughts continued to reel with this new piece of information.

Had he really cost himself his greatest dream?

You’d hugged him as though you’d never said the words.

How much had he hurt you when he hadn’t responded to your message all those years ago? How did you not hate him for that?

He didn’t deserve you. He realized that now.

If he’d been a real friend, he would’ve seen your message. He wouldn’t have let you doubt his love for you. Hell, he wouldn’t have let you get there because he would’ve kissed you when he had the chance.

That was all gone now.

He would spend the rest of his vacation avoiding you. It was only fair to step aside now and let you find your happiness with someone else.

If only fate was so kind to him and his plans…

*****

Over the course of the next few weeks, Jake could count on both hands and feet the number of times he accidentally ran into you.

It wasn’t exactly hard to do in the smallish city you both called home for so long. Yet, it shouldn’t have been so easy, either.

If Jake didn’t know better, he would think someone was orchestrating this whole thing.

More often, Jake would manage to spot you and duck around a corner before you spotted him. He didn’t want to make it awkward for you or himself by actually running into you. Well, more like making it awkward for himself. There was no guarantee that he wouldn’t say something stupid. In fact, it was almost a sure thing he would.

His filter never really existed around you.

Yet, you never minded that about him. It’d been one of the reasons he fell so hard for you all those years ago. Why he was still so in love with you. With you, he could be himself. You never made him feel bad about it, either. Sure, you might tease him every now and then, but you were never mean about it. How could he not fall for you?

The times he couldn’t escape without you spotting him, he would offer up a wave and pick up an item. Then, he ducked out of the aisle and out of the store. He’d most often leave his items behind for some poor worker to deal with, but he couldn’t bring himself to go back. He couldn’t until you left, then he would begin his shopping all over again.

By the end of his third week, he was ready to pull out his frosted tips by the roots.

You’d cornered him in one of the shops, spotting him before he even clocked you.

“What gives?” you demanded, crossing your arms over your chest.

He gulped. “Nothing. What’s up?”

Well, so much for playing it cool with the way he stammered.

“You’re avoiding me, and I want to know why.”

“I’m not.”

His gaze couldn’t help scanning the store for any signs of your fiancé. The last thing he wanted was to have a confrontation with you and have Steve overhear it.

“Now, you’re lying to me. All those years as best friends really don’t mean that much, do they?”

“That’s not true. You know it’s not. I…”

He couldn’t bring himself to say the words he wanted to say. He couldn’t do that to you or your fiancé. You’d made your choice. He wasn’t it.

He could only hope that you would see the truth in his eyes.

That was if you’d look at him.

No, you stubbornly stared at some spot over his shoulder.

He could see the moment you made up your mind about whatever thoughts crossed it. Your shoulders squared up, and you let out a slow, steadying breath.

“It’s fine, Jake. At least, I can put the past to rest now. I am glad you’re safe and alive. I hope you stay that way. I really do. The world needs you in it.”

You took a step away and turned back to the shopping cart you’d been pushing around. Over your shoulder, you added in the softest voice he’s ever heard from you, “I really hope you have a good life, Jake. You deserve it.”

Jake fought the urge to reach out and pull you back to him. He wanted to tell you everything that’s ever entered his mind about you, but he let you walk away from him again.

In an equally soft voice, he waited for you to leave the aisle to say, “I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

What he didn’t know was his quiet voice wasn’t so quiet. He didn’t know you’d stopped in the next aisle over and rested your head against the shelf. He didn’t know that his words carried to your ears or the way your unshed tears blurred then streaked down your face.

He didn’t see you play with the engagement ring on your finger. It’d become a new habit since he’d walked back into your life. You weren’t even aware of it.

There was someone who did notice and has noticed the change in you since Jake came back into your life. He couldn’t say he liked it, but he couldn’t deny you anything, either. If your heart called out to Jake’s instead of his, then he’d let you off the hook. He’d help you get your guy.

*****

The bright red glow of the clock next to his bed taunted Jake.

He should’ve been asleep hours ago, but he’d been unable to sleep since you cornered him earlier that day. He couldn’t get your sad eyes off his mind or the words you’d said to him. How he wished he could’ve told you the truth.

The words had been on the tip of his tongue, but he’d swallowed them back. Just like every other opportunity he’d had with you over the last couple decades.

No, you deserved to live a happy life with a guy like Steve. Not the hopeless case that was himself.

Maybe his friends had been right about him. Maybe he did screw things up to the point he’d forever be alone. He probably even deserved it for the way he’d treated you earlier and that fateful day years ago.

Shoving the heels of his hands into his eyes, he tried to shut his thoughts down. He needed sleep if he was going to watch his niece’s first game since he came back home. He wasn’t going to disappoint her like he’d done with you for far too long.

He set his laptop next to him and dropped back into the pillows behind his back. His eyes had just slammed shut with the purpose of falling asleep when his phone dinged.

When he might’ve ignored it, another message dinged. A few more followed it until he couldn’t ignore the noise any longer.

His fingers deftly opened the screen to shut down his notifications when he froze.

None of the messages came from his friends.

They came from you.

You awake?

Where are you?

I really need to see you.

Please, Jakey, it’s important.

Jake fumbled his phone as he reread your messages. It took him several tries to even write a reply that resembled some level of comprehension.

Can you meet me on the porch in 5?

I won’t stay long.

Just really need to see you.

He texted back quickly.

In a rush to meet you like you asked, he donned the pants he’d been wearing earlier but forewent the shirt. There wasn’t much need for one in the still-warm night air.

Then again, maybe a small part of him wanted you to see him and be a little impressed with the physique he’d gained from his years in the military.

He ducked out of his room, grateful it was the one closest to the front door. That meant less chance of waking his sister or niece at such a late hour.

You were already waiting in an SUV when he stepped outside. The interior light illuminated your teary face alongside the gentle smile on the man you’d be marrying in less than a month.

Jake had to swallow the bile rising in his throat at seeing Steve cup your cheek. He almost couldn’t when Steve pressed a kiss to your other cheek. You said something to Steve and hugged him for a long moment, then stepped out of the vehicle.

To Jake’s surprise, Steve waited until you stood on the porch under the light with him before Steve started the vehicle up. He shot Jake a single nod before pulling out of the drive and headed down the road.

“Where is he going?” Jake couldn’t help asking, his gaze still following the retreating taillights. “Why is he leaving you here?”

“He seems to think I belong here,” you said in the smallest voice. Your arms came up to wrap around yourself as you met his surprised gaze. “I’m hoping he’s not wrong. Did you mean what you said earlier?”

Jake doesn’t know how to answer that. He couldn’t recall anything he’d said earlier that would’ve given you an inkling of his feelings. As much as he might’ve wanted to tell you, he’d been so careful not to put you in that position. Hadn’t he?

“You said you loved me. I don’t think you meant anyone to hear it,” you finally supplied, “but did you mean it?”

“It doesn’t matter if I didn’t or didn’t. You’re engaged to Steve.” Jake spared a glance at the empty street, a frown forming. “Though, I’m beginning to have my doubts about how good he is for you. Has he done this before? Left you somewhere without any way to get home? Tell me, and I’ll kick his ass for you. I’ll—”

You cut him off then.

Your lips pressed against his in a way he’d never thought to experience with anyone before, least of all you. It wasn’t anything more than a chaste kiss to shut him up, but he could taste the berry lip balm you’ve always favored on your lips. He could feel your breath against his lips when you pulled back the smallest amount.

Your left hand came up. The shimmering diamond ring that had adorned your finger the past weeks was missing.

“I’m sorry,” he said on a breath.

Your breath hitched. “You don’t…”

You let the words hang between the two of you.

It took Jake a moment to catch on to your meaning, but he quickly shook his head. “Oh, no, no. I’m not sorry I said I loved you. I meant that. God, I’ve meant it for years. No, I’m sorry if my saying it cost you your engagement.”

“I never should’ve said yes to Steve. He was a sweet guy who helped me through my grief.”

You stop to take a breath. That same steely determination he witnessed in you earlier that day and countless other times settled in you. Your shoulders squared and your gaze met his with a fierceness that had him holding his breath.

“But he’s never been the man that held my heart. He was never going to replace the one I’ve loved since we said our first ‘I do’s’ in my parents’ living room all those years ago.”

In the secret language you two came up with, you whispered, “I’m in love with you, Jake. Always have been. Always will be.”

This time, Jake kissed you. It was a lot of smushed lips and knocked teeth, but neither of you cared. Soon, the two of you found the right angles to deepen the kiss until it left you both breathless and aching.

When he pulled away, he ran his thumb over your cheek and whispered, “You’ve always been my dream. If you’ll give me a chance, I’d like to make my dream come true.”

"I think I can do that." You grinned at him, then traced a finger down his bare chest to his belly button. Your grin widened at the shiver that your action caused. "First, you must tell me what the military does to make you look this good, Jakey. I'm all for a demonstration."

Beet red, Jake ushered you inside where he was all too happy to show everything your heart desired.

*****

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