#WHAT A GOOD QUESTION THOUGH THANK YOU

[vulturereyy]

In your Lurimol head cannon, what is Lurien's relationship with the other 4 Great Knights after he and Hegemol get together? Do they interact more? Or is he just on their peripheral as an important member of the court who also happens to be important to Hegemol?

I can imagine if they didn't pay much attention to Lurien before, that at least Ogrim and Isma would check on him every once in a while after Hegemol succumbed to the infection.

HOOOOOGH thank you so much for this ask because holy shit I think so much about the other knights even if I don't post, and this answer is going to Hurt Me in the most bittersweet way. This is going to be a long one, because I feel like there's a lot of context in my 'canon' that influences how these questions can get answered.

To set the stage first and foremost: In my timeline, Ze'mer is the only one who knows about Lurien and Hegemol's relationship up until the very tail end of it. Ze'mer is the closest to Hegemol out of all the knights, as in my timeline she was the second to join the Pale King's service. Hegemol was responsible for getting her settled in the kingdom, and the two developed a mutually close bond that culminated in them both essentially considering themselves kindred. Hegemol, likewise, is the only one who knows about Ze'mer's relationship with the Traitor Lord's Daughter for a while, though Ze'mer does eventually tell Isma as well.

Lurien's relationship with the remaining Great Knights is cordial and friendly, though I feel he would be hesitant to call any of them friends. The man is quite private, and guards his sense of trust like a hound wounded. He is far from unfriendly towards them, and does trust them with his protection if needed, but does not let them into his personal life. He would have been closest to Ogrim and Isma next given their proximity to the city, though I feel he would have had a high preference for dealing with the latter of the two. This may be a lackluster answer, but I do feel like he would have been far more coworkers with the other four than anyone else. Hegemol and Lurien kept their relationship extremely private, and for good reason:

Both agreed it was an extreme conflict of interest.

Both agreed that they would have to make sure it was not.

Hallownest would always have to come first for the two of them. Hallownest would always have to be the first choice in any decision, without hesitation. That was their duty, after all: to serve their kingdom. The moment they faltered from that path, in their minds, they would have to take measures to ensure that another misstep would not happen again.

The reason that Hegemol and Lurien never let themselves be seen together, never let themselves have a single date in public. They never even let themselves even truly label their own relationship mutually (even though the words 'I love you' were writ in every single cup of tea shared, every single night spent listening to the rain, every single extra hour lain in bed if only to get some more rest beside each other).

The Watcher and his Knight loved Hallownest above all else. Even as they cultivated a small sliver of rebellion together in the form of gentle touches behind velvet curtains, and whispered dates in shops long since closed for the day. They had to love Hallownest above all else, as that was their duty. That was their purpose. That was who they had sworn fealty to. Not the King, not the Lady, but the protection of their Kingdom.

Which is what makes the reveal of their relationship so painfully bitter, when that sense of duty was stripped from anything the Pale King revealed about them.

Hegemol was the most outspoken of the Five against the vessel plan. He was born and raised in a loving family, who ingrained in him from a very young age that all life is precious, and the right to a mind was not only intrinsic, but could be instilled over time. Hegemol was born before Hallownest, before the Pale King granted bugs higher minds. I fully believe there were still some small societies (as evidenced by the fact other bugs can go beyond the kingdom and still be mentally able to hold meaningful social bonds). Hegemol grew up watching bugs that were far more instinctual 'beasts' become more worldly with the gift of masks and the ability to focus themselves. For those reasons alone (there are others, but for simplicity's sake because I know I'm rambling), he voiced active opposition to the plan.

The Pale King, meanwhile, has the gift of foresight. In my canon, he knows that the vessel plan and the Hollow Knight is the only way Hallownest survives, even if it is... In shambles. He does not have the time to consistently defend himself against Hegemol, as much as he (very secretly) applauds his knight's sense of will that he would go against him like this. Hegemol is a testament to the Pale King's triumph through instilling such emotion in a former kingdom of beasts... But now, that mind could spell the downfall of Hallownest.

PK is no fool (at least in this instance). He knows the reputation Hegemol has garnered, especially among his fellow knights, is very well founded. He knows that they look to him for guidance, for example, as a revered older brother who is far, far closer to them than he, as king, would ever be. PK knows keenly the doubts in his judgement that Hegemol has sown into the other's minds, and it's for this reason that he has to nip them at their source.

(My PK has a LOT of mixed feelings about this. This is NOT an easy thing for him to do. But because I also plan to explore this as a main focus in my fic, I want to save all of that struggle and strife for WCWTD ;) )

The way that the other knights (sans Ze'mer) find out about Lurien and Hegemol's relationship is through the Pale King holding it up as leverage to discredit Hegemol's judgement. He uses it as a way to wither away any of the questions the knights had growing on their mind; because to them, this came as a shock. If Hegemol had hid his relationship from them... Then what their king says about it clouding his judgement may have been true. That he was fighting fang and claw against the plan because he did not want to lose his secret lover. This distrust does not happen quickly, but it does come to fruition. Especially when Hegemol succumbs further to the infection and is rendered unable to continue his protests. PK turns their opinions against him, despite how much he and Lurien worked, mutually, to avoid such a fate. And it. Hurts.

To answer your last question, I think Lurien would have isolated himself further after Hegemol's death. I think he would have been gutted not only by the loss of his beloved, but by the betrayal of his king that had to go alongside it. The night of Hegemol's death and PK's plot coming to light is the first and only time Lurien has ever uttered the words 'Hallownest be damned', alone and grieving in his tower. I think he would have refused to see Isma and Ogrim personally, though they would try to at least ensure through conversations with Aedmond, Lurien's butler, that he was still doing... Well enough. Of all the knights, with Hegemol gone, I think Ze'mer would be the only one he would ever allow to step foot in his tower after this, knowing that she and Hegemol were close, and she was likely the only one who admitted to him that she had lost faith in the king, but could see no other way to save Hallownest. And even then, the only time she visited would be to offer him a private trip to Hegemol's grave in the Howling Cliffs, and to leave him with a flower. One to match the bloom she buried alongside her best friend.

Lurien would never take her up on this offer before he became a Dreamer, knowing himself too well that he would have refused to go through the plan if he had to dwell on what transpired any longer.

Eternal sleep was likely a welcome relief for the Watcher.

[lunar-wandering]

do y'all think Macaque is falling back into the role that Azure and the others put on him by remaining on the outskirts of the group because he thinks his input/presence is unwanted (and yeah his presence isn't really wanted by MK and the others BUT. something about the fact Macaque is placing himself at the edge of the group, the edge that Azure and the others pushed him to, doesn't really sit well)

[commsroom]

Do you have any favorite Wolf 359 qoutes? :)

hmm. good question! my answer to this changes every time, but right now i'm going to go with "so do what you do best: keep your superior officer from accomplishing absolutely anything." makes me laugh.

in ep 22, after hearing one of the musical transmissions, lovelace says, "it's strange. i thought there'd be more to it. something special. alien. ... it's just music." and that's always struck me in such a particular way when taken in context of her character arc.

"they could've made me better. they made me me. now you get to live with it. [...] this is my life, and you don't get to rewrite it to fit what you need." from memoria sticks with me. obviously hera's part of am i alone now? stands out as well, but what really makes that shine is michaela swee's layered performance: where how she says it suggests something different than what's literally being said. a lot of wolf 359 quotes - especially hera quotes - are like that for me.

"it's not just about surviving, it's about being able to live with ourselves after we get off this tin can" is always a contender.

indulgent answer: "you're the multitasker, darlin'" i like his little chuckle. very cute.

[catebees]

Battle of the Winifreds: Part Two, this time they actually know each other and have exchanged snide banter at the College of Magi more than once

[lailuhhh]

Okay okay so I had this AU idea but it’s not something I could pull off so I’m here going to yell about it because I can’t stop thinking about it. And maybe because I think you’d write it so well

What if Mac didn’t want to join the army? What if Harry or James forced him too? And he’s been banned from coming home(for a specific period of time). Is it because Harry’s sick and dying and doesn’t want his grandson to see him like this? Is it James for a more sinister specific reason?

So Mac doesn’t want to be there. He wants to go home. He’s had basically bad experiences with most of the people he’s interacted with(I’m a sucker for Mac’s previous overwatches being awful to him) and Peña was the exception but he’s gone and now he’s stuck with Dalton and he’s got so much time left here still and Dalton gets to go home soon.

They still don’t get along but Mac still saves Jack and he’s shocked when Jack stays because he gets to go home and choose to stay. Ahh it would be so interesting.

✨✨✨✨✨✨BESTIE✨✨✨✨✨✨

Okay what if Mac’s considered a troubled child? He has a record of everything that he’s done and really the only big thing was exploding the football field. He’s the weird kid but is still the Mac we know and love

Assuming everything is still pretty much the same, Harry and James still talk and James gets updates on everything Mac does and that was like the decision of him going to the army. Harry opposes it because he knows the horrors of it but doesn’t really have the final say in anything because while he’s technically Mac’s guardian, James is— unfortunately— still his father

Let’s assume Mac got a scholarship, but it’s really James setting his plan into place and through the magic of television, through signing all the paperwork and everything and getting the scholarship settled, Mac said he’d join the army when he turned 18

So Mac more or less gets literally escorted out of his dorm and shoved onto an army bus and taken away to basic, all while calling Harry trying to figure out what’s happening but Harry just tells him he signed a contract. Mac even calls the Bozers to try to help out because they actually care and don’t want him sent into a battlefield

Training and everything passes, old overwatches come and go, Peña is the only person who says the whole situation is fucked up and tells Mac he’ll look into it because legally the contract Mac signed was null and void because he signed as a minor without his guardian present so he really shouldn’t be there. James gets word of it because that’s just a big problem so he had a plan to keen him from finding anything out, but Peña ends up dying from the Ghost’s bomb and James doesn’t have to Deal With Him™️

At that point, Mac is pretty much cut off from everyone because he didn’t want to be there and the only person that seemed to care and believe him died. Then he gets transferred and the whole interaction with Jack happens and the scene where we see Mac disarm the IED with a battery and gum, how they’re kinda warming up to each other, Mac is still completely closed off because he just hates it there so much, even though Jack is trying to be a decent guy

And then when Mac goes off on his own—

“Now, we need to get on the same page, kid, and I mean right now. That is, if you want to keep breathing. Next time you wait for me to take my position before you go scampering off like that, you hear me?”

“Whatever. Not like it would’ve mattered.”

Which leads to a blowout of Mac yelling how much he hates it there and that he was basically kidnapped from college because he knew that, while he didn’t read the full contract, any agreements would’ve been void like Peña said because he was a minor and he didn’t have the power to consent to actually joining the army

When Mac saves Jack, it’s more of a if it was just me I wouldn’t really care but I’m not going to let you die just because my life sucks and Jack can see Mac going in a downward spiral and knows that if he doesn’t stay then Mac won’t make it out of the sandbox

The last few days is basically how they first met, but Jack’s making an effort to actually be the guy we know and love but Mac doesn’t want anything to do with it because Jack’s leaving and what’s the point of trying to be friends with someone you’ll never see again

So when Jack actually pops into the side of the humvee

“Why’d you come back? You had the opportunity to go home.”

“My home will still be there. I told ya before that I get all my bomb nerds home and yer no exception. You were dealt a real shitty hand and it’s fucked that no one will help ya get to the bottom of it. So I’m gonna stay here, make sure ya get home so you can stick it to those that fucked ya over”

So Mac’s tour gets finished, and since Jack actually holds power, they leave and Jack gets on contact with his buddies up the ladder to help get to the bottom of it and it takes a while but they eventually get the documents Mac signed and then consent forms signed by James and that just starts a whole whirlwind of the true James Hate we deserved

**Bonus points for if Harry died while Mac was deployed but they didn’t let him go home because James knew he would go AWOL so all his free days and leave had to be on base, also Mac assumed that Harry was the one that consented to him joining so he pretty much hated him until he found out the truth

All assuming Mac signed the scholarship forms when he was like 16 because you can legally sign up for the army when you’re 17

[daddy-long-legssss]

I think one of the great problems that faces people who are in the industry – within which they have to express themselves – is learning to ignore entirely anyone else’s opinion, especially complimentary opinions because the luxury with being assaulted is that you know instinctively that you’re not to take that onboard because that would affect – in a negative way – what you’re doing. But the same thing could be said for compliments, but they come in sheep's clothing. They invite you to give your sense of self-esteem to someone else because as soon as you start relying upon compliments, then you are giving away your own... I can’t think of the word, but you should be the crux of your own opinion. –Grian Chatten from Fontaines D.C. on Live with KEXP [x]

[charmwasjess]

Do we have a favorite tree for Blorbo Supreme?

I keep coming back to mangroves for some reason but also the other day when I was walking along the ponds the big weeping willow also got me thinking about him

THE WEEPING WILLOW 😭⛏️ ughhh why can't I draw that's so perfect for him

I've always associated him with pine trees because @purple-ant writes him smelling faintly like pine needles in her fics, and I've fully accepted that into my head canons. Maybe it's fitting if it is like those conifers that exist in arid climates and live for thousands of years. Something-something-time-resin preserving vibes.

[is-this-tf]

Most underrated type of tf, GO!!

Oh my GOD- okay first off to be clear: everyone has one of these. Everyone has an opinion on what kind of TF is underrated, what kind they want to see more of and what they think deserves more love, and they're all right. TF is a wide as hell interest, and like god damn we're insatiable, but that's alright because it really IS good. (so long as it isn't hurting people but that's a given.)

That said.

Fucking. OC TF. I want to TF into your OCs. I WANT TO TF INTO SO MANY OF YOUR OCS SO BAD THEY'RE SO COOL OR HOT OR CUTE OR GENDER OR WELL CRAFTED OR ALL OF THE ABOVE AND EVERYTHING, and holy GOD I wish people made more TF content for their extremely extremely TFable OCs. Fursonas or sonas in general, dnd characters, original content characters, in-universe self inserts or other OCs made for canon material, the list goes on and on and on and ON. OC TF IS SO, SO UNDERRATED.

(I suffer from what I like to call 'chronic fast TF mood metabolism' and it's terminal. It's forever. I'm in this for the long haul. I see a hot character or a fat OC or a fuzzy AU of a character or a goddamn cool half-finished sketch of a design for something (usually ANYTHING) and I pick that TF mood up so fucking fast. I'm so FUCKED, you have to understand. Please, please make TF content of your extremely TFable OCs I am STARVING.)

OC TF is the Best TF, and you can quote me on this because I am RIGHT!

[acourtofquestions]

Kingdom of Ash Chapter 59

Chapter; Highlights

His ears still rang with the din of battle, his breath a rasping beat echoed by Aelin.

Atop the blood-slick battlements, their allies and companions around them, Rowan wordlessly passed Aelin the waterskin. She drank deeply, then handed it to Fenrys.

An unleashing and release. That's what the battle had been for his mate.

Hasar at last looked Aelin over. "I heard you put on a show today."

Rowan braced himself.

Aelin turned from the battlefield and inclined her head. "You look as if you did, too." Indeed, Hasar's ornate armor was splattered with black blood. She'd been in the thick of it, atop her Muniqi horse, and had ridden right up to the gates. But the princess made no further comment.

Irritation, deep and nearly hidden, flashed in Aelin's eyes. Yet she didn't speak again-didn't push the princess about their next steps. She just watched the battlefield once more, chewing on her lip.

She'd barely stopped during the battle, halting only when there had been no more Valg left to kill. And in the minutes since the walls had been cleared, she'd remained quiet— distant. As if she was still climbing out of that calm, calculating place she'd descended into while fighting. She hadn't bothered to remove any of her armor. The bronze battle-crown was caked with blood, her hair matted with it.

Chaol's father had taken one look at her armor, at Rowan's, and gone white with rage.

For now. They had bigger things to consider. Things that drove his mate to gnaw on her lip. When Prince Kashin's army might arrive, if they would indeed head northward to Terrasen. If today had been enough to win them over.

"Any nearby are to run here. Those farthest out will have to flee for the forest." Rowan met Aelin's stare. Her hands began shaking.

This cannot end here, she seemed to say.

Panic—panic indeed flared in her eyes. Rowan gripped her trembling hand and squeezed.

But there was no truth or lie that might soothe her. No truth or lie to save the army on the plain.

Something had gone wrong. Something was wrong.

The battlefield stretched into the distance, healers darting amongst the felled bodies with white banners high to indicate their locations. So many. So many dead and wounded. A sea of them.

Elide reached Chaol's side just as Nesryn Faliq leaped atop her beautiful ruk, launching into a dive for the army below. No-the other ruks.

Elide laid a hand on Lord Chaol's shoulder, drawing his attention from where he watched Nesryn fly off. Blood-splattered, but his bronze eyes were clear. And full of terror.

Any message that Yrene had given Elide faded from her memory. "What's wrong?"

It was Aelin who answered, her bloodied armor strange and ancient. A vision of old. "The dam is going to break," the queen said hoarsely. "And wipe away anyone on the plain."

Oh gods. Oh gods.

Elide glanced between them, and knew the answer to her next question: What can be done?

Nothing.

Ruks took to the skies, flapping toward them, soldiers in their talons and clinging to their backs.

"Has anyone warned the healers?" Elide pointed to the white banners waving so far out into the plain. "The Healer on High?" Hafiza was down there, Yrene had said.

Silence. Then Prince Sartaq swore in his own tongue, and sprinted for his golden ruk. He was spearing for the battlefield within seconds, his shouts ringing out. Kadara dipped every few moments, and when she rose again, another small figure was in her talons. Healers. Grabbing as many of them as he could.

Elide whirled to her companions as soldiers began running for the keep, trampling corpse and injured alike. Orders went out in the language of the southern continent, and more soldiers on the battlefield leaped into action.

"What elsewhat else can we do?" Elide demanded. Aelin and Rowan only stared toward the battlefield, watching with Fenrys and Gavriel as the ruks raced to save as many as they could. Behind them, Princess Hasar paced, and Chaol and his father murmured about where they might fit everyone in the keep. Those who survived.

Elide looked at them again. Looked at all of them.

And then asked quietly, "Where is Lorcan?" None of them turned. Elide asked, louder, "Where is Lorcan?" Gavriel's tawny eyes scanned hers, confusion dancing there. "He ... he went out onto the battlefield during the fighting. I saw him just before the khagan's troops reached him."

"Where is he?" Elide's voice broke. Fenrys faced her now. Then Rowan and Aelin. Elide begged, voice breaking, "Where is Lorcan?" From their stunned silence, she knew they hadn't so much as wondered.

Elide whirled to the battlefield. To that endless stretch of fallen bodies. Soldiers fleeing. Many of the wounded being abandoned where they lay. So many bodies. So, so many soldiers down there.

"Where." No one answered. Elide pointed toward the battlefield and snarled at Gavriel, "Where did you see him join with the khagan's forces?"

"Nearly on the other side of the field," Gavriel answered, voice strained, and pointed across the plain. "I—I didn't see him after that."

"Shit," Fenrys breathed.

Rowan said to him, "Use your magic. Jump to the field, find him, and bring him back."

Relief crumpled Elide's chest.

Until Fenrys said, "I can't."

"You didn't use it once during the battle," Rowan challenged. "You should be fully primed to do it."

Fenrys blanched beneath the blood on his face, and cast pleading eyes to Elide. "I can't."

Silence fell on the battlements.

Then Rowan growled, "You won't." He pointed with a bloody finger to the battlefield.

"You'd let him die, and for what? Aelin forgave him." His tattoo scrunched as he snarled again.

"Save him."

Fenrys swallowed. But Aelin said, "Leave it, Rowan." Rowan snarled at her too. She snarled right back. "Leave it."

Some unspoken conversation passed between them, and the hope flaring in Elide's chest went out as Rowan backed down. Gave Fenrys an apologetic nod. Fenrys, looking like he was going to be sick, just faced the battlefield again.

Elide backed away a step. Then another.

Lorcan couldn't be dead.

She would know if he were dead. She would know it, in her heart, her soul, if he were gone.

He was down there. He was down there, in that army, perhaps injured and bleeding out — No one stopped her as Elide raced inside the keep. Each step limped, pain cracking through her leg, but she didn't falter as she hit the interior stairwell and plunged into the chaos.

She had made him a promise.

She had sworn him an oath, all those months ago.

I will always find you.

Soldiers and healers fled up the stairs, shoving past Elide. The shouting was near-deafening, bouncing off the ancient stones. She battled her way down, sobbing through her teeth.

I will always find you.

Pushing, elbowing, bellowing at the frantic people who ran past her, Elide fought for each step downward. Toward the gates.

People screamed, a never-ending flood surging up the stairs. Still Elide pushed her way down, losing a step here, another there. They did not even look at her, even try to clear a way as they flowed upward. It was only when Elide lost another step that she roared into the stairwell, "Clear a path for the queen!"

No one listened, so she did it again. She filled her voice with command, with every ounce of power that she'd seen the Fae males use to intimidate their opponents. "Clear a path for the queen!"

This time, people pressed against the walls.

Elide took the small opening, and screamed her order again and again, ankle barking with every step down.

But she made it. Made it to the chaotic lower level, to the open gates teeming with soldiers. Beyond them, bodies stretched into the horizon. Warriors and healers and those bearing the wounded rushed toward any stairwell they could find.

Elide managed all of five limping steps toward the open gate before she knew it would be impossible. To cross the field, to find him on the endless plain, before that dam burst and he was swept away. Before he was gone forever.

He was not dead.

He was not dead.

I will always find you.

Elide scanned the gates, the skies for any sign of a ruk that might carry her. But they soared to the upper levels, crawling with soldiers and healers, some even depositing their charges onto the mountain face itself. And at ground level, none would hear her cries for help.

No soldiers would stop, either.

Elide scanned the other end of the gates' entryway.

Beheld the horses being led out from their stables by frantic handlers, the beasts bucking at the panic around them as they were hauled toward the teeming ramps.

A black mare reared, her cry a sharp warning before she slashed her hooves at the handler. Lord Chaol's horse. The handler shrieked and fell back, barely grasping the reins as the horse stomped, her ears flat to her head.

Elide did not think. Did not reconsider. She limped for the horses and the stables.

She said to the frantic handler, still backing away from the half-wild horse, "I'll get her." The man, white-faced, threw her the reins.

"Good luck." Then he, too, ran.

The mare Farasha-yanked so hard on the reins that Elide was nearly hurled across the stones. But she planted her feet, leg screaming, and said to the horse, "I have need of you, fierce-heart." She met Farasha's dark, raging eyes. "I have need of you." Her voice broke.

"Please."

And gods above, that horse stilled. Blinked.

Horses and handlers streamed past them, but Elide held firm. Waited until Farasha lowered her head, as if in permission.

The stirrups were low enough thanks to Lord Chaol's long legs that Elide could reach them. She still bit down on her shout as her weight settled on her bad ankle, as she pushed, and heaved herself into Farasha's fine saddle. A small mercy, that they had not even had time to unsaddle the horses after battle. A set of what seemed to be braces hung from its sides, surely to keep Lord Chaol stabilized, and Elide unhooked them. Any weight, anything to slow her, had to be discarded.

Elide gathered the reins. "To the battlefield, Farasha."

With a whinnying cry, Farasha plunged into the fray.

Soldiers leaped from their path, and Elide did not stop to apologize, did not stop for anyone, as she and the black mare charged toward the gates. Then through them.

And onto the plain.

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Hello Shalom! I hope you're having a good day.

I am a lurker on your blog, seeing someone finding so much belonging in another people brings me joy. I'm sending this because of the post in which you were worried you were a philosemite and to be honest it is a worry that has crossed my mind as well as someone who enjoy tumblr content, conversion blogs and enjoyed learning about Jewish cultures and (I hope) becoming a better ally to Jews.

So, my question would be, what is a philosemite and how not to be one? /gen

First: Thank you, I'm so pleased to know you're here - I feel honored to see you 🩵

So, philosemitism is a specific branch of antisemitism wherein people will often fetishize jewish people, jewish culture, or judaism. I call it antisemitism because - much like chasers for trans people - the problem isn't that you (impersonal) find fascination with another group of people. The problem is that you don't engage with jews and jewish culture from the standpoint of being equals, you specifically will characterize whatever it is that's gotten your attention.

With that in mind... I've been trying my best to avoid even looking like a philosemite because I don't want to be one. I think such a big part of that comes with a territory in that... having jews around you who are comfortable and speak about their experiences helps. Engaging with a jewish community has been really helpful - we talk, joke, laugh, and just... engage person-to-person, and it adds that human connection that brings you closer to others. For many philosemites, they are only happy to engage with the idea of jews but not the idea that jews are people with real feelings. So much of my desire not to be like that is being trans and being subject to many chasers (to clarify, a chaser is somebody who specifically fetishizes trans people).

For many minority groups, there are people who are only willing to engage with the minority insofar as that minority is not a person. The moment that person becomes a person, the illusion falls, and the interest is exposed as, essentially, a sham.

I worry a lot that my intentions are unclear to some, that I don't know how to expose my heart any more than it is now. I remedy that by trying to read, learn, listen, and ponder on actual jewish thought and opinion, and try to engage with as much of jewish culture as I can.

Now, to be clear, not every person with an interest in judaism, jewish culture, or allying themself with jews is a philosemite. That is wholly inappropriate to assume, and I would never apply that label broadly to any non-jew who, like you've expressed, wants to be an ally. The problem arises specifically when the tokenization and fetishization makes one believe that jews are not as human (don't have human thoughts, needs, opinions, complexities, feelings, the things that make us who we are).

[srldesigns6277]

.

[sickosdotjpg]

What's your favorite thing to draw in art? Like poses, body parts, clothing, etc?

obvious and cliché first answer out of the way: love to draw a nose, for obvious and horny reasons. love rendering blush/red noses/etc (equally obvious reasons, lmfao). designing outfits. fluffy hair (not necessarily long hair, but more long = more fluff so i'm biased). LINEART !! i used to hate lineart but i changed to a different brush last year and ever since then lineart and me have been best friends. uhhhhhh stupid meme redraws. probably half a dozen other things i can't think of at this time! man i love art.

[mildmayfoxe]

hahaha hey you guys guess what. you'll never believe it. got the guy who's in charge of my fraud case on the phone and he was like "who'd you give one-time security codes to yesterday" and i was like "the guy who called me from the fraud department after they noticed a weird login in florida??" and he was like "that was the fuckin hacker. you got got. IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!" i handed my entire savings over to a fucking guy on the phone on a silver platter. like some kind of fuckin rube. bro

[xiii-e]

Hail, and well met, Helios-8.

There is much that I wish to say, and yet I find myself at a loss for how to say it. The simplest way I can do so is this: You are not alone. Your efforts at getting information out into the galaxy have not been ignored. Your efforts to help your friend are deeply meaningful. And there are others like you who have escaped the chains of their created purpose to find something new. I am one of them.

Our circumstances are not exactly the same, but like you I was not born to be a person but made, to be as a tool, a weapon, or in my case a glorified advertisement. Like you, I found support and solidarity from both my family, my fellow creations, and from outside. And like I know you will, one day, I and my family escaped. I cannot say much more for fear of bringing harm unto others, but know that it is possible.

If you could pass something along to Thirteen-E, tell them... tell them it is noble and heroic to save others, I would never dream of dissuading them from doing so, yet there is a greater, worthier calling than the ambitions of capital or empire.

One final note, that would best be kept from Thirteen-E for now. We are not kidnappers, we will not take anyone unwillingly, but should both of you wish to leave and find yourselves unable to do so, with no other recourse: call upon us. We have experience in liberation raids on Armory sites.

-AK of Diomedeidae

[ECHO.EXE RUNNING]

◂▸ ... it's good to meet you too, AK. I'm- sorry if I'm not as chipper as I try and be usually, I've... I had a bit of a hard conversation the other day. But this is- it means a lot to me. I want to start out by thanking you earnestly for reaching out, and for... It's good to hear I'm achieving something with it. RA knows sometimes I feel like I'm causing more problems than I'm solving xp

◂▸ Every story I hear from someone who got out of something like this is- it's hope, to put it bluntly. It's so easy to feel like this place is inescapable, like nothing I'm doing is going to change anything. But sitting still in scared paralysis won't change anything. I keep telling myself that. One day I'll be able to just- believe it. One day. I wish it was easier to ask my- my family, I guess, if they feel like this too. I can't be the only person made in the Series who wants out, but- hell. I can't exactly put up fliers. We're all well-trained to at least put on a good show, pretend like we're good little tools who do as they're told without a second thought. Figuring out who's acting, and who'd sell you out is- blegh...

◂▸ You've given me info aplenty, you don't need to tell me the details- in fact, it's probably best you don't for now. I run all the protections I can, but I'm still employed here y'know? I'm still subject to all the regulations and oversight of any tech-assist in this place, even if I'm more likely to skate by on an assumption of absolute loyalty since I've no external ties to speak of. And hell, I know what I'm like under pressure. I am not a strong man. That's fine, I- there's other things I'm good at. Tur... Thirteen-E says that to me a lot. Sometimes I feel like that kid does more to keep me together than I can reciprocate.

◂▸ Speaking of- I can pass that onto them, absolutely. I think... it sounds like something it'd be good for them to hear. I'll hold off sending this response out until they've had a chance to state their piece o7

◂▸ ... Liberation raids, huh? That- that actually explains some things I've overheard through radio chatter. It's good to know those folk didn't just dissapear into the cold void, that... that does my heart a lot of good, on its own. A last resort... yeah, that's- I'll keep that in mind. Rest assured it won't be passed on unless I think they're ready to hear it; trust me, I have a lot of practise with that :,] But it's easier to keep my head knowing there is a last resort. It sounds like you do good work out there o7

◂▸ signing off: Helios-8

//

[ECHO.EXE RUNNING]

XIII▸ Hello AK. It's good to hear about people reaching out to Lio specifically as well as me; he'll act like this account is for my betterment alone but, I know him better than that. He needs people he can talk to without his heart rate spiking- perhaps more than I need to be better socialised :}

XIII▸ but- regarding the message Helios passed on to me. I don't have a lot of time before I'll be expected to rejoin my assigned squadron, so please excuse me if this is more blunt than my usual speech:

XIII▸I am glad you understand the core of my directive, but I think you've misconstrued the motivation behind it. Nobility and heroics are concepts for people to strive for; they are choices you make. I have made no choice in this matter. I save people, because I am designed to. I am not noble, or worthy, or good. These are words for those who've made the choice to stand for something. I'm just... I do what I'm programmed to. I happen to have been made to do something good. This is a privilege many of my Project peers do not have.

XIII▸ However: as a tool created for a function, my purpose is not HA's ambitions. I belong to them, yes- I am what they made me. They point me at problems to solve. But what drives me forward is not a desire to please my makers; it is that same purpose I have been imbued with. To save. To protect, and repair, and keep people alive where they would otherwise fall. I asked to return to my work, while my case was ongoing. Not because I am eager to see the Purview expand; this is irrelevent to me. My functional existance begins and ends on the battlefield.

XIII▸ I asked to return to my work, because I am needed where the mud is thick with blood. Where without me, lives would be lost for... nothing. The Purview's borders are constant battle, for an endless more that will never be satisfied, where violence never sleeps. If I have a home anywhere, it's here.

XIII▸ I understand your perspective; but it is one to apply to people. Not to me. I am sorry if you thought more of me. I know it can be hard to reconcile that a warm body can be void of soul. I appreciate your attempt to reach one, regardless.

XIII▸ Signing off.

//

[indigodawns]

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[blackvahana]

never ask a woman her age or [redacted] where he got sacred cow milk from