#WE ALREADY KNOW THIS KID WAS WILLING TO HATE STAN BEFORE AND NOW

[zepskies]

Lost on You - Part 12

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Supe!Reader

Summary: 1983 is a big year for you. You’re finally chosen to join the ranks of Payback, led by the most (in)famous supe in the world: Soldier Boy. He’ll never admit that he’s trying his damndest to figure you out. You’ll never admit that he’s actually growing on you. But the problem with this game is deciding who’s the predator, and who is prey.

AN: And here we go, with our Avengers: Civil War moment…

Song Inspo: “I Go to Extremes” by Billy Joel

Word Count: 5.1K

Tags/Warnings: Violence, blood, and death. Angst, peril, hurt/comfort, and fluff.

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Part 12: A Fire in the Blood

Ben walked into the kitchen the next morning in search of coffee and food. He added some grounds to the coffeemaker on the counter and grabbed a bagel from the fridge, then slammed the door shut.  

“All right, get the fuck out,” he said, as if to an empty room. “I’m gonna lose my breakfast before I even eat it.”

Slowly, Charlie and Donna stood up from behind the kitchen island. Both of them looked wrecked. Her hair was wild and disheveled. He had dark red lipstick smudged all around his mouth and neck. Their clothes were bundled in their hands, but they needed no further prompting to run butt-ass naked out of the kitchen. Ben shook his head.

“Fucking animals,” he muttered.

But he didn’t blame them for being bored.

Meanwhile down the hall, Donna pulled Charlie into the shower with her. She got him to start washing her hair while she bathed the rest of herself with a bar of soap.

“He took it a lot better than I expected,” she said.

“Well, he’s probably known since at least last night,” Charlie said, smirking. “The man’s got super hearing, and you didn’t exactly keep it down.”

She reached back to smack his thigh teasingly. “That’s not what I meant. I just thought he’d raise more hell.”

She actually frowned at the thought. Part of her had indulged with Charlie because she thought it might piss Ben off, but to her surprise, he didn’t seem to give much of a fuck. In the past, he once snapped a man’s wrist for touching her ass at a gala. In fact, he’d ruined a lot of perfectly good hookup opportunities for her by being his jealous, caveman self, even though he was whoring himself out with any willing female.

So now, either Ben hated her that much, or…he actually did care about you.

Ben answered his cell when it rang. It was a familiar number.

Arthur. This better be fucking it.

“Did you find her?” he asked.

“Yeah, I found her,” Arthur said, with a grim sigh. “You’re not gonna like it.”

“Where?” Ben demanded. His hand clenched on the phone, threatening to crack the frame.

“Nottingham, West Virginia. It’s one of Vought’s most high-security labs. I didn’t even have clearance to know about it when I worked there,” he said. “It’s easy to miss though. Somewhere between a national forest and a couple of cemeteries.”

“Good enough for me,” Ben said. He finished his coffee in one quick slurp and headed over to his room to get the rest of his suit on. He was only half dressed.

“I hope you find her. Now I’ll be fucking off to Belize. Stan’s probably already got eyes on me,” said Arthur.

“Don’t you worry about Stan. After I get Sirena, I’m chopping the head off the fucking snake,” Ben said angrily.

“Okay, well, good luck to ya.”

After hanging up and lacing up his boots, Ben headed out of the room and down the hall. He banged a fist on the bathroom door, hard enough to rattle its hinges.

“Suit up, kids! We’re headed out.”

Arthur’s directions were direct enough. Donna had to park her car somewhere along the main road, but it was another mile or so before Ben finally found what they were looking for: a solitary building that looked like a nondescript farmhouse from the outside.

“This is their top secret high-security lab?” Charlie said. “Looks abandoned.”

“That’s exactly how they want it to look,” Ben said. It reminded him of the lab in Siberia. He was willing to bet that the lab itself ran several stories and floors underground.

Once they stepped out from the safety of the trees, gunshots rained from above and up ahead. There was a line of armed guards emerging from the front and the back of the building, while a helicopter descended from above.

Donna took out most of the guards on the ground, while Charlie shot his guns at the helicopter and took out the glass in the windshield. Ben threw up his shield at it, causing irreparable damage to the vessel. The pilot was forced to initiate a crash landing.

The helicopter doors opened, revealing Black Noir. He grabbed another man and jumped from the helicopter. The other man screamed, but the landing was swift. Noir made sure that Mindstorm landed on his feet, more or less, while the helicopter carved into the ground behind them and combusted.

Ah, the gang’s all here, Ben thought grimly. It saved him the trouble of hunting those two down as well.

“So it’s true,” Mindstorm said, taking in the sight of Ben with both astonishment and dread.

“Hey, Dan,” said Ben. “Looking rough.”

It was true. The man appeared to be a shell of his former self; thin, with lines of age around his eyes and across his forehead, his skin pale and splotchy. A decade of paranoia and reclusion hadn’t done much good for Dan. Noir must've scrounged him up from his hiding hole, like fishing out a rat from the sewer.

“Look, we don’t have to do this,” Charlie tried. “Just let him get Sirena out of there. After what you guys did, she doesn’t deserve that.”

Ben glanced at his former sidekick. He actually seemed sincere.

Too bad Noir wasn’t about to go for it. He had Vought’s dick so far up his ass, he wouldn’t likely take a shit without Stan Edgar’s say so. He crouched into a fighting stance and unsheathed his katana. The rest of the guards poured in to flank around him and Mindstorm.

Ben rolled a crack out of his neck.

“Fine. If it’s a war you want, it’s a war you’ll fucking get,” he said.

Noir started charging at him first, but Donna shot off a fireball in his direction.

Chaos ignited from there.

Something’s wrong. You felt it, with so many energies converging high above you. It must’ve meant that you were underground, yet again.

There were still men in the compound itself. You now felt their energies being stuffed out, closer and closer in your direction.

Ben? You wondered. You stood up from your cot in nervous anticipation, wrapping your arms protectively around yourself. After Vogelbaum dropped his news, you’d spent the entire night battling your shock, followed shortly by your panic.

No matter what they did to you now, there was no way you were going to let them hurt your child.

Ben…

More than anything, you wanted to see him. You wanted to tell him that his dream was coming true, whether he was ready for it or not…

But there was something coming, and it wasn’t him. You would’ve felt it if it was him. By the rate the men were dying somewhere outside of your cell, however, it was getting closer to your cell. For some reason, you just couldn’t identify the energy signature itself.

You got your answer when your cell door forcibly opened. You gaped in shock.

“Countess?” you said.

She was panting for breath, but she whipped a sweaty lock of red hair out of her eyes and reached out a gloved hand for you.

“Come on, before I change my fucking mind,” she said.

You were still in shock, but you managed to break yourself out of it to follow her out of the cell. You had to stop short though, as an entire unit of Vought security came pouring into the hall with raised guns.

You opened your mouth and began your siren song. Within seconds, every man curled in on themselves as they screamed in pain. Some of them managed to rip their helmets off as they gripped their heads. Tears of blood dripped down from their eyes, and they all soon fell into lifeless heaps.

You stopped singing, and your eyes faded from glowing violet to their normal hue. Donna looked at you, both stunned and wary.

“Don’t worry. It doesn’t work on women. Even frigid cunts like you,” you said with a grin.

She smirked back. “Come on then.”

“Where’s Ben?” you asked, joining her in hastening down the hall.

“Up there fighting,” she replied, pointing up to the ceiling. “You’re about fifteen floors down from the outside world.”

“Fucking figures,” you muttered, but your heart swelled to know that Ben was here, and he was all right. Your hand went to your lower belly on reflex.

“Wait,” you gasped, as something occurred to you. “We need to find someone.”

“What the fuck do you mean? We need to get out of here!” Donna said.

“There’s a kid somewhere in here, and I’m not leaving without him,” you snapped. You began opening doors where you sensed a presence inside. Most often it was a lab technician or other employee, and Donna vaporized them.

You opened one door and found Dr. Vogelbaum. Finally, you saw him react with widening eyes. You felt his fear.

Donna eviscerated him too, in a bloody mess of limbs.

You grimaced at the gore, but you paused, noticing a thick file on the man’s desk.

THE HOMELANDER PROJECTwas stamped at the top in large red letters. You picked your way through the mess and grabbed the file. Then you and Donna continued heading down the hall.

There at the end was a red door. Something about it called to you. You reached out with your awareness, and you felt a familiar male energy, young and scared and alone.

You beckoned Donna over. The door was heavy and locked, but the two of you worked together to twist it open by its large circular handle, like the hatch on a submarine. It swung open with a creak, and inside the room was a bare white cell, not unlike yours.

A young boy sat against the wall, arms wrapped around his knees, wearing a white shirt and plain gray sweatpants. He was blonde and blue-eyed, and he felt familiar to you on-sight.

“John?” you said, stepping inside the cell.

He tilted his head, like he recognized your voice. He said your name uncertainly as he got up to his feet. 

“Yeah, it’s me,” you said, approaching him with cautious steps. “I’m getting out of here, but I want you to come with me.”

John looked reluctant, even as he glanced at your outstretched hand.

“Vogelbaum is gone. He can’t hurt you anymore,” you said. “John, please, let me help you.”

After a moment of his indecision, John reached out and carefully grasped your hand. You led him out of the cell, and encouraged him to stay close to you when you and Donna started back towards the elevators.

The three of you rode all the way up to the top level, where the sounds of an epic fight raged behind the doors of the building. Still, it was a familiar balm to your frayed mind to step outside those doors and find a bright sun beating down on a dusty clearing. Beyond it was layers of forest trees.

Donna said that her car was about a mile in that direction, but before you guys could attempt to get to safety, Noir landed right in front of you.

“Irving—” you said in warning.

Donna raised her hands, prepared to blast him into pieces, but John threw the first punch. It landed squarely in Noir’s chest and had him flying several feet away, into a nearby tree. Your mouth fell open in shock as you gave the kid a wide-eyed look.

John smiled up at you, in a—Did I do good?—kind of way.

“Holy shit,” Donna muttered.

You huffed a short laugh and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Good job, bud.”

You shifted your attention to the rest of the battle, and it caught on Ben with a gasp. He was striding toward Mindstorm with his shield held in front of him. He backhanded Mindstorm in the face and quickly got him pinned on the ground.

Charlie was already lying unconscious, trapped in his own mind. Donna went to try and help him, while you started running headfirst toward the other two men.

“Ben!” you shouted out.

He glanced up at you on reflex, but it proved to be an unfortunate distraction, giving Mindstorm the opening he needed to reach out a hand and touch Ben’s forehead. His eyes closed and he collapsed to the ground.

“No!” the ragged yell tore from your throat. You knew full well what Mindstorm was capable of.

You rushed forward and tried to capture Mindstorm with your siren song. It managed to hold him in place, making him grip at his temples with strain. You knew you didn’t totally have him under your spell, however. Not until you knelt down in front of him and grabbed his face with both hands. Your eyes illuminated brighter as you focused all of your power on him.

Mindstorm fought it tooth and nail, but ultimately, the pull of you was too much. He screamed as blood trailed down his face from his eyes, nose, and ears, until his voice faded, and his blue eyes became unseeing. When you released him, he slumped into a heap.

You fell back onto your ass and heaved for breath. All the while, you stared at his unseeing eyes. Part of you felt sick with yourself. The other part felt vindicated, and a little more free.

With a gasp, you remembered Ben. You turned over and crawled over to his body where he laid unconscious in the dirt and dead leaves.

Fuck. You shouldn’t have killed Mindstorm. He was the only one who could’ve brought him out of this.

Unless…

An idea struck you, and you knew you had to try. You shuffled onto your knees and took Ben’s face carefully in your shaking hands. You closed your eyes.

Focusing your powers on his being, you entered his mind. You waded through waves of darkness as they lapped at you, trying to draw you in. But you were a brighter light. You went deeper, layer by layer.

You began to see moving images, like scenes from a reel. You saw his father, berating him. You saw the moment Compound V was injected into his arm, immediately filling his veins with pain. You saw his mother’s funeral, a day marked by falling snow and a stoic set of Ben’s young shoulders.

You saw so many days and nights at the facility where you both were kept, but one in particular struck at your own heart—the day Dr. Eisenstein had you brought you into Ben’s cell and slammed you down on the table in front of him, prepared to inject an unknown experimental serum into your body.

Ben’s face seemed angry on the outside, but this deep inside his mind, you felt his anger, as well as his fear, and his desire to protect you.

You weren’t sure it would work, but you needed to get his attention somehow. You needed to wake him up.

“Ben!” you shouted to him.

To your relief, he actually looked over at you, meeting your gaze with surprise in his own.

Until you were ripped away from him, out of his mind and into the waking world. Your bleary eyes eventually focused on the dark shape above you. On Black Noir.

He hauled you up by your arms and began to drag you across the clearing, away from Ben.

“Stop!” you struggled. Noir ignored you, just tightening his hold.

He dragged you past Donna’s body. She was dying on the ground, with her throat cut and bubbling with blood. Your eyes widened, but you quickly took in the rest of the clearing.

John was trapped under the massive trunk of a fallen tree, struggling to get up. He was being swarmed by Vought security guards.

Just over Noir’s shoulder, you caught sight of Ben. He was starting to wake up, and he turned over and pushed himself up onto one knee. Relief filled your chest.

In a fit of desperation, you dug your heels into the ground. “Let go! Let go of me!”

You opened your mouth and took in a breath to sing, but how quickly Noir’s hand wrapped around your throat, choking the breath right out of you. He tightened his hold, little by little, until you began to feel lightheaded. Panic gripped at your heart.

“Stop, Noir, please! I’m pregnant!” you pleaded, with tears in your eyes.

Beyond him, you met Ben’s gaze. His mouth fell open as he stared at you, after half scrambling to his feet.

You returned your attention to Noir when you realized you could feel his shock, and the tension through your hand on his glove. He glanced over his shoulder at Ben, then back at your tearful eyes. You felt Noir’s disgust, swiftly followed by his anger.

You gasped when he let you go, just so he could unsheathe his weapon. Ben gritted his teeth in anger. Before he could throw his shield, Noir swung his katana down on you.

You instinctively raised up your arms to protect yourself, but the blade only shattered against your skin. You raised your head, blinking in shock. You clenched your fists, and you realized that you felt different, somehow. You were strong.

You shoved Noir hard in the chest, and he flew several feet away, rolling in the dirt as he landed.

Ben ran over to join you. He wrapped his non-shield wielding arm around your waist and pulled you tight against him. You melted into him in relief, resting your head against his chest.

“I don’t know how I did that,” you admitted.

“Looks like knocking you up comes with some added perks,” he said, grinning down at you.

Once you understood what he meant, another wave of shock hit you. The life inside you was not only carrying his genes, but some of his power as well, making you strong.

You looked up at his smug grin and rolled your eyes in amusement, but you also wanted to grab his face and pull him down for a kiss. The look in his eyes told you he wanted to oblige, but you both stopped short, coming to attention when you saw Noir picking himself up from the ground.

“I’ve got him,” Ben said darkly. He let go of you and took a step toward Noir, putting himself in front of you.

Two old enemies faced each other. This time, Ben began to make the first move.

Just then, a pair of red laser beams broke through the clearing and cut through Noir’s mask and skull. He dropped to his knees, and then fell to the ground.

What the hell…

Slowly you turned back to see that John had broken free of the guards. All of them lied either passed out or dead at his feet. He stepped over them and went to your side with shaky hands, shocked at even his own power. Had he known he could do that?

“Are you okay?” he asked you in concern.

You were still reeling, but you nodded and grasped his shoulder. Ben was unsettled looking at John. You knew the look on his face. He wasn’t sure whether the kid was a threat as well. Ben slid an arm around your waist and pulled you closer to him.

“Ben, this is John,” you explained. “He was a ‘guest’ in the lab, same as me.”

Ben seized up the kid. Eventually he rested his shield on the ground and reached out his hand.

“John, huh?”

The kid nodded and shook his hand. “Y-Yes, sir.”

“That’s a strong name,” Ben said. John smiled.

With that small peace won, you slipped away from Ben and went to Charlie. You knelt down and felt for his pulse at his neck. You shook your head in sadness.

“He’s gone,” you said. Ben helped you stand again.

You were disappointed about Donna too, even knowing she was the one who helped sell you out in the first place. You were sure it was probably under duress, but she had saved you today.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here,” Ben said. You agreed, but first, you looked back at the lab.

“They took vials of my blood. God knows what else they have in there,” you said.

“They took your fucking blood?” he said, through furrowed brows.

“Yeah, that’s how I know I’m pregnant,” you said, again, holding a hand to your belly. Ben softened slightly at that.

He blew out a breath and nodded. “Okay, you and the kid hang back. Far back.”

You grasped John’s shoulder and led him over to the dense line of trees. You both hunkered down behind a fallen tree trunk and watched Ben approach the lab.

He set a firm stance and concentrated, until his chest glowed with power. Letting loose a yell of strain, he summoned a blast that destroyed the entire building. It not only created a backlash of debris and flames, but it also shook the earth. He stalked forward and angled the blast downward, so that it would consume the floors below as well.

You had to duck down further as the impact of the blast was too much. John covered you with his arms around your shoulders.

When it was over, Ben struggled to regain his breath. He even stumbled a bit on his way back to you, but he kept a steady pace, until he found you and the kid again. Ben reached a hand for you and once again helped you up from the ground, guiding you into his arms.

His chest still felt hot, but you didn’t care. You curled a hand around the back of his neck and brought him down to you for a kiss. It was relief, it was passion, and it was home.

You parted slowly, his forehead pressing against yours.

“I love you,” you whispered into the small space in between.

Releasing a subtle breath, Ben nodded. You opened your eyes and cupped his cheek.

“You can say it,” you prompted, teasingly. “It’s not gonna kill you.”

You could hazard a guess at what he was thinking. This close, you could feel him, and his reluctance. But his lips hinted at a smile.

“Yeah, I fucking love you,” he said. He thumbed at your chin, his gaze roaming over your face before he met your eyes. “I love you.”

Tears made your vision blur a little. You nodded, smiling, and reached up on your toes for another kiss.

“Are you guys done yet?” John asked. He shifted on his feet, all antsy and tired. “Can we go?”

Ben’s face fell into annoyance at the kid. You gave him a rueful smile, and one last stroke of his cheek.

“The car’s about a mile out,” Ben said.

“Yep,” you said. “I guess we start walking.”

John slept in the backseat of the car while Ben drove down the highway going northeast. His gaze roamed over you as you stared out the window, seemingly calm with that file you stole from Vogelbaum’s office resting on your lap.

With a sigh, you turned your attention to it. Ben couldn’t help but distract you first. His hand reached over to rest on your thigh.

“Hey,” he said. You perked up at him.

“You okay?” he asked. You smiled a little and slipped your hand over his.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Considering.”

He alternated between watching the road and watching you a bit closer.

“Did they hurt you?” he pressed. You shook your head, squeezing his hand.

“No. They pretty much left me alone,” you said, though his concern warmed you. You also sensed something else underneath…the sting of regret. It took him a few beats, but he eventually spoke.

“I shouldn’t have let you go out alone,” he said, briefly meeting your eyes. “I should’ve been there.”

It was as close to an apology as you’d ever gotten from him. You almost smiled.

“Look, we’re here now,” you said. “Pretty soon, this is all just going to be a bad memory we can put behind us, like everything else.”

You rubbed his arm and glanced down at the file sitting on your lap. Your curiosity had you flipping it open. The more you read over its contents, the more your face slackened in shock.

“Oh my God, Ben,” you whispered.

“What?”

“Pull over for a minute.”

“We can’t stop here. We need to get to the airport.”

“This is important. Stop the car.”

He huffed in annoyance, but he pulled the car over. He left the car running and got out along with you.

You later leaned against the passenger side while he read the file. You watched the shock descend over his face as it all began to click together in his mind. He turned and pointed at the backseat of the car.

“He’s…”

“Yeah,” you said.

“Christ on a damn cross,” he said.

“Yeah,” you repeated. You covered your mouth with a hand. “And the poor kid’s been kept in that basement his whole damn life… It was Vogelbaum’s project, but how did he do it?”

A realization fell over Ben. He joined you in leaning against the car. The file fell to his side.

“Back in…’81. No, beginning of ’83, before you joined up. Vogelbaum wanted a sample of my swimmers for an experiment. Something about genetics,” he said. He still remembered the Penthouse Forum he used to give his “sample.”

June. Danielle Deneux. Bush like a Pomeranian. He almost smiled at the memory, but the rest of it soured that part for him.

You gave him an incredulous look. “And you didn’t ask questions about what they were going to use your sperm for?”

Ben rolled his eyes and gave you the file. You shook your head.

“The point is, John is…more or less your son,” you said.

“What?!” John exclaimed. He spooked you and Ben when he popped up in the car window.

You should’ve known he’d have enhanced hearing. Just like his father.

John came out of the car, and both father and son looked at one another in assessing ways. Even though they had different coloring, you started to notice the similar shape of their jawlines, the line of their noses. John soon had tears in his eyes.

“You…you’re my dad?” he said.

Ben’s hands went to his hips. His posture was stiff and awkward.

“I guess I am,” he said.

He didn’t expect the way John literally flew over and hugged him with a strength that impacted Ben. He grunted and grabbed the kid’s shoulders.

“Okay, all right, lock it up. Don’t be a little girl about it.”

John’s face fell with dejection, but he dropped his arms and took a step back. You became both dismayed and angry.

“Ben!” you said sharply. “Let your son hug you, for fuck’s sake.”

He shot you a warning look, but you had your hand on John’s shoulder as you glared back at Ben. He crossed his arms.

Then he uncrossed them with an exasperated huff. He went to John and dropped a hand on his shoulder. Smiling in satisfaction, you moved back to give them a moment.

Ben looked down at the kid’s face. His blonde hair and blue eyes weren’t his. He must’ve taken after his mother, whoever she was, or whatever genetics Vogelbaum manipulated, but he did see his own strong jaw in the kid.

“Well, it’s unfortunate that we couldn’t meet sooner, but…looks like you’re my son,” said Ben. “I'm thinking you want to stick around with us.”

John nodded vigorously.

“All right,” Ben said. “Then let’s get going.”

John nodded again, quickly wiping at his face to clear away his tears.

Good, Ben thought with a quirk of his lips. He squeezed John’s shoulder and let him go, so he could return to the driver’s side of the car. You gave John a warm hug. Ben saw it through the window and almost shook his head. He could already tell that you were going to try to mother that boy.

Somehow, that thought just softened him, at least a little. Because it reminded him that you were carrying his child as well. Not to mention, his blood was making you nice and strong.

When you slid into the passenger seat, he grabbed your hand and pressed a kiss over your knuckles. You smiled at him.

“Where are we gonna go?” John asked.

Ben glanced at him in the rearview mirror. Ben's brows drew together as his expression firmed.

“To finish what we started,” he said.

You knew what that meant. He wanted to go to New York to finish off Stan Edgar, Stillwell, and anyone else who had a hand in their capture.

“Ben, they’ll never stop trying to get him back,” you said, gesturing at John. “And…when Vogelbaum took my blood, he said they wanted to monitor me. Apparently this has never happened before��a supe getting another supe pregnant.”

Ben paused.

“He talked like I was a rat in his lab, and he wanted to document the findings,” you said, as tears welled up in your eyes and made your throat tight with emotion, and the remnants of dread.

Ben frowned and squeezed your hand.

“That’s not fucking happening,” he said. You sighed and wiped at your cheek. After taking a few steadying breaths, you managed to get a hold of yourself.

“If we go back to New York, it’s a big risk,” you said.

This time, Ben actually considered what you were saying. He was stubborn though.

“I can’t just fucking let it go. What Stan Edgar did, what they all did—”

“If you take out Stan, they’ll just put another one in his place. I doubt it’ll ever end,” you said. You moved his hand to your stomach. “But if you want this. If you want a family, this is it.”

Ben glanced down at his hand under yours, and then your face. As much as he wanted the rest of his revenge, he also wanted, and needed to protect you. He couldn’t make another mistake like last time. If you were taken from him again, he’d have no one to blame but himself. 

That also posed a harder question. Where the hell could he take you where you’d be safe? Even Arthur had fucked off to Belize.

Ben stroked your hand in contemplation…until an idea came to him.

A grin raised his lips.

“All right,” he said. “How do you feel about Colombia?”

AN: Lol! Suffice to say, there's going to be a big BMD easter egg in the Epilogue, but did you like how the final battle shook out? Was there anything that surprised you? Do you wish some members of Payback had lived?

I went back and forth on how some characters would meet their end, but I felt that this is the story I wanted to tell, with her, Ben, and John escaping together and forming their strange new family. 😂💚

Next Time: The Epilogue...

A phone dock rested on the coffee table. The call was on speaker.

“That child represents a multi-million-dollar investment,” said Stan Edgar.

“You should’ve thought about that before you shipped us off to motherfucking Siberia,” Ben snapped. “Hell, before you decided to steal my goddamn DNA. But guess fucking what. He’s my son. He belongs with me.”

You gave him a look of pride, resting a hand on his thigh in support. He glanced at you and grabbed your hand.

“You’re not leaving me with much recourse here, Soldier Boy,” Stan replied.

Ben leaned forward. He took that as a very real threat.

▶️ Keep Reading: The Epilogue

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[manglechan1204]

I can't stop thinking about that old grumpy man. Why do I like Swansea so much when I know I would hate it if an old man talked to me like how he talks to the crew.

Obviously there is the fact that he is the only one actually doing something against Jimmy which I gotta stan.

But more than that I find his story really touching and tragic in such a realistic way. The fact that he went through getting ride of an addication, being sober for multiple years, getting a steady job and building a family. All of this hardship to get somewhere in his life that should have bring him happiness and it just left him feeling unfulfilled. So much so that when looking back, the highlight of his life was his time passing out drunk on his couch with his only concern being the empty bottle in his hand.

More of my incoherents thoughts on why I love the old man below :

His situation happens because he took the path that was given to him by society without thinking twice since everything told him to do so, as we can see in one of the video on the Tv that shows capitalist propaganda of the perfect man, balanced between his job at the factory and his family. This is what was shown to him as how to achieve happiness, how to be a good man. So he started to work to get there and every achievements he reached, getting a jobs, a credit card, a family, which didn't bring him the feeling of fulfilment he has been promised. So he just thought that it wasn't enough and kept working toward the next goal because the clock is ticking. He never took the time to sit and think about his life because of that, or even to appreciate what he already had. To realise at the end, that he never once felt the content this life was supposed to bring him. This tie into the critics of late stage capitalism of the game because we can imagine that maybe he would have been happier if he didn't force himself into that mold after getting clean.

Next, I want to say that it's so unbelievably hard to get completly ride of an addiction all by your own ( which seems to be swansea case ) and the fact that for him it wasn't even worth it. The fact that for him in his last moments, getting ride his alcoholism was the wrong path because being an alcoholic is the only other option he ever known since he never had the time to consider that there was other options ( also maybe he would have never ended on this ship if he hadn't stop..). It's horrifying to me. I don’t think he has been living his whole life thinking that, maybe a thought here and there, but the fact that it's the fear of dying alone in some ditch that makes him take this turn in his life and that at the end he realise, after all of that, he'll still die alone in some shitty crashed spaceship, must be why this is his last thoughts.

To finish, there is the fact that Swansea is not a good guy, and he knows it, he acknowledged that he is still a drunkard at heart, that to some degree he prefer the carefreeness of being an alcoholic that having a loving family. Yet he still always try to do good things for other and put effort into it. He regret his drunk past and yet never get back to it because he knows people relay on him now, the devs even said that he celebrates his soberversary by buying himself expensive snickers. It shows that even if his heart say otherwise, he knows that this decision, at least, was the good one. The most telling example is how he wanted to give a way out to Daisuke by hiding the only working cryopods for him. The fact that the only regret he choose to voice on his death bed is not being able to save this "annoying kid" even though he has a whole life of regret before meting him. That he is willing to do the horrible but necessary act of putting Daisuke out of his misery himself while reassuring him when doing so.

And this is were his relationship with Daisuke is even more tragic to me because what he meant by Dai "could have a taught him a thing or two" is he could have taught him about enjoying the little things that you have in the present moment. Daisuke is described as someone who didn’t have anything going on for him, "no vision for the futur, no talent" but it didnt prevent him from having a blast learning something new, being helpful or just eating something sugery. Since Swansea strikes me as the "it's too late to change" type of person, I don't think he would do something drastic to change his lifestyle if he had the opportunity to do an introspection. This is why I think the kind of mindset Daisuke had, could have brought some peace to Swansea mind's in this late stage of his life.

anyway

[fangirlwriting-stories]

Arrival

Summary: Relativity/Reunion Falls AU, Mabel wakes up early one morning to see an extra Stanley at her door.

Masterlist

...

Mabel didn’t get enough sleep the night before, due to getting stuck downstairs when Waddles decided to fall asleep right in front of the vending machine.  And she knows that pig.  If she reveals where the portal is, he’ll start poking around the machine until Stan figures out what he’s asking for and lets him downstairs.  So the planned unintentional-all nighter, which she’s probably too old for, turns into a night of falling asleep slumped over the desk, which she is definitely too old for.  She manages to get upstairs without being seen, but she’s so exhausted that when she walks past the front door and sees two Stanleys standing there staring at each other she doesn’t stop at first.

She makes it all the way to the doorway to the kitchen before what she just saw processes, and she stops dead in her tracks.  She walks backwards the couple of steps it takes to make it to the front door.  Nope, it wasn’t her exhausted brain seeing things, there’s a second kid standing right outside the door, and he looks just like Stanley if he wore glasses.

As soon as she stops, Stan turns to face her.  “I think the shapeshifter got out again,” he says.  “And like… forgot how to do it right.”

“Um,” Mabel says.

The kid in the doorway adjusts his glasses, looking incredibly nervous.  “Hi,” he whispers.  “I’m Stanford Pines.  I kind of ran away from home.”

A stone drops into Mabel’s stomach.  “Kid,” she says weakly.  “You live in Jersey.”

Stanford Pines bites his lip and nods.

Mabel opens her mouth, but nothing comes out.

“What are you talking about?” Stanley asks, drawing her attention.  His expression is confused and hesitant.

Mabel tries to swallow.  She was ready for the gnome conversation.  She isn’t ready for this conversation.

Mabel takes a deep breath and runs a hand through her hair.  “Come in,” she says, waving her hand more towards Stanford.  “Both of you, come in.”

“What— Grauntie Mabel, we can’t let the shapeshifter in our house!” Stan exclaims.

“He’s not a shapeshifter, kid,” Mabel says, giving him a sympathetic frown.  “He’s your brother.”

…

Stanford, for his part, seems to already know who Stanley is.  He sits down quietly at the kitchen table and doesn’t say anything, but he keeps sneaking glances at Stanley in a way that makes it clear he knows something, and that’s why he came here specifically.

Despite the countless questions he no doubt has, Mabel can’t help but feel a little grateful that he seems willing to sit there quietly.  This conversation is going to be hard enough.  She really should have had it with Stanley sooner, and she probably would have, if the reason he’d grown up here had been different.

But the reason isn’t different.  It’s what it is.  And Mabel doesn’t want to have this conversation with a 12 year old.  She doesn’t want to have it at all.

Despite all her wishes, however, Stanford’s here now.  And that means she can’t put it off anymore.

“Okay,” Mabel says, folding her hands and looking at Stanley, who’s glaring up at her in obvious want of an explanation.  “So, Stanley, you know I’m your great aunt, and not your mother, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Stan says, crossing his arms.  “But you said you adopted me ‘cause my Ma and Pa weren’t in the picture anymore.  ‘Cause they died or somethin.’”

Stanford’s eyes go wide, and he looks at Mabel.

Mabel winces, then sighs.  “I did adopt you,” she says.  “And your parents aren’t in the picture.  But… not because they died.”

Stan shakes his head.  “But I thought—”

“I know you did,” Mabel says.  “I… I let you.”

Stan looks at her, and Mabel hates the lost expression on his face.  “I don’t understand,” he says.

Mabel holds out her hand, but Stan just pushes it aside.  “Grauntie Mabel, tell me what’s going on,” he says.

Mabel closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and looks as gently as she can at Stanley.

“Kiddo, there isn’t an easy way to say this,” she says quietly.  “Your parents… didn’t want you.”

All of the emotion drops from Stan’s face, and Mabel can’t help extending her hand a little closer to him, even if Stan still doesn’t take it.

“It’s their loss, Stanley,” Mabel says.  “Because you are a wonderful and bright kid and anyone would be lucky to have you.”

“Why not,” Stan says.  Mabel can’t read his tone at all.  “Why didn’t they.”

“They said they weren’t prepared for twins,” Mabel says.

Stanley looks up across the table, and Stanford’s eyes widen even further before he looks quickly away.

“Stanley, listen,” Mabel says, but before she can say anything else, Stan pushes the chair back.

“I need a minute,” he says.  Mabel still can’t read his tone.

“Stanley, let’s talk about this,” Mabel says.

Stan shakes his head and starts for the stairs.  “Just leave me alone for a while,” he says, and then he’s gone.

Mabel’s about to stand up and go after him when Stanford speaks up.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.  “I didn’t realize he didn’t know.”

Mabel gives him a warm smile.  “Don’t worry about that, kiddo,” she says.  “That’s not your fault.”

And, since Stan did ask for space and might actually benefit from it, she folds her hands and turns to face Stanford.

“So,” she says.  “You ran away from home?”

Stanford winces and looks down at the table.  He nods.

“Can I ask why?” Mabel asks.

“Pa told me about my brother, and I wanted to meet him,” Stanford says, looking down and fidgeting with his fingers.  He’s got gloves on that look a little too big for his hands, and Mabel’s not sure why.  He’s from New Jersey, after all.  It couldn’t be that much colder in Oregon than it was there.

Mabel crosses her arms.  “Kid,” she says.  “You don’t travel across the whole country by yourself because of that.  How did you even get here?  Please tell me you were safe.”

“I was safe,” Stanford protests, sounding a little offended.  “I took a bus.  Well, a couple buses.  But I was safe!”

Mabel raises an eyebrow.  “When was the last time you ate?”

“Uh…”

She sighs, and pushes her chair back as she stands.  “Alright, I’ll make you something to eat.  And then we’re gonna have to call your parents.”

“NO!” Stanford says, so fast and desperate that it catches Mabel off guard.  “Please, they’ll be so mad.”

“Stanford, buddy, you ran away,” Mabel says.  “And traveled across the whole country without their permission.  Of course they’ll be mad.”

“But they’ll make me go home,” Stanford says.  He starts to reach out and grab Mabel’s hand, but seems to catch himself halfway and pulls his hand back.  “I can’t.  Not yet.  I came all this way to meet Stanley.  I— I have to meet him.  I can’t just learn that I have a twin brother and then go on not knowing anything about him and never seeing him!  You don’t understand.”

Mabel swallows past a sudden lump in her throat.  “Stanford,” she says weakly.

“Please,” Stanford says desperately.  “Please don’t make me go back.  Just let me stay for a little while.  Like, like for the summer!  I can work in your craft store, I can make myself useful!  I promise!”

“Buddy, that’s not the problem,” Mabel starts.

“Please,” Stanford says.  “I just want to get to know him.  Aren’t I supposed to?  I don’t want to keep being apart.”

Well, this kid is going to be the death of her.

“I,” Mabel says, because she knows when she’s beaten.  “I can’t make any promises—”

“Yes!  That’s a yes!  Oh, thank you thank you thank you!”  Stanford leaps up and runs around the table, then throws his arms around Mabel.  He has a strange style of hug, keeping his hands off of her entirely even as his arms encircle her back.

“I will talk to them,” Mabel says firmly, as she pats him on the back.  “But I still have to tell them you’re here.”

Stanford looks a little less overjoyed when he pulls back, but he nods.  “Okay,” he says.  Then his stomach grumbles, and Mabel heaves a sigh.

“I’ll make you something to eat first,” she says.  “What do you want?”

And what did she just get herself into?

…

“He what.”

“He wants to stay here for the summer,” Mabel says, carrying the phone as far away from the living room as she can get, where Stanley is watching TV and eating dinner.  She wants to have this conversation separately with him.  Stanford, however, is sitting at the table, looking up at her with so much hope and desperation in his eyes that after a second Mabel has to turn around.

“Absolutely not,” Filbrick growls.  “You put that boy’s ass back on a bus home this instant.”

“Filbrick,” Mabel says firmly.  “I think it’s a good idea.”

“You are not the boy’s father—”

“No, but I sure do know what it looks like when a kid is determined enough to not change their mind,” Mabel says.  “If you shoot this opportunity down, it’s just going to backfire down the road.  And he deserves the chance to get to know his brother.”

“That boy is no family of his—”

“Watch yourself,” Mabel growls, apparently surprising Filbrick enough that he stops.  Mabel continues before he can keep talking.

“I am perfectly capable of taking care of an extra kid for the summer.  And I think this is something he needs.”

“I decide what he needs—”

“Filbrick,” Mabel says, lowering her voice.  “Don’t turn this into a fight.  You know you won’t win.”

There’s a long stretch of silence on the other end of the line, and Mabel can almost hear the rage coming over the telephone.

But finally, Filbrick grinds out, “He calls me every. single. week.”

“I think that can be arranged,” Mabel says calmly.  “And I’ll pay the bus fare to send him home at the end of the summer.”

“Oh, yes you will,” Filbrick growls.  “You owe me, after this stunt.”

“No,” Mabel says.  “You owe me.  You still do.”

“Are you ever going to let that go?”

“You’re the one who refused to take ‘that’s what family’s for’ as an answer,” Mabel says.  “It’s too late to get out of it now.”

“Go to hell,” Filbrick spits, and then the line goes dead.

Mabel sighs, feeling a weight press down on her shoulders, and puts the phone back on the hook.

But she’s smiling when she turns around to face Stanford, and as soon as he spots it, all the nerves disappear from his face and he lights up like the sun.

“Thank you thank you thank you!” he yells, and runs across the room to give her another hug, still in his strange hands-off style.

Mabel sighs, and wraps her arms around him.  She’s definitely just made this summer a lot harder.  But, well.

“That’s what family’s for,” she says, giving Stanford a tight squeeze.

He beams up at her, and she knows she’s made the right call.

[endless-summer-soldier]

cruel to be kind - chapter six

pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (90s college AU)

summary: it started with a dare. Bucky restlessly pursues Y/N, seeking just one date. as he chases her, he realizes she's different from she challenges him, so he starts to catch feelings. but it all falls apart when she learns about his initial motivations. based on 10 things I hate about you!

warnings: alcohol use, cursing

word count: 1.5k

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Y/N sat on a baja blanket, staring out into the ocean, wondering if he would come. Sam confirmed he was able to sneak Bucky the mixtape, but Y/N wasn’t sure that he had decoded her message. On the tracklist, she underlined different letters and numbers that read “Sat 2PM 7th St Beach.” It was subtle, which was her style, but she wasn’t even sure he would figure it out. Hell, he might not even have noticed the pattern. In her mind, it was almost like a test. If he didn’t decode the message, then things weren’t meant to be. 

She eyed the book sitting in her lap, willing herself to at least try to read to distract her mind. But everytime she finished a page, she checked her watch to see what time it was. It was now 1:56 and the weight residing in her stomach grew heavier. Who was she kidding, he wasn’t going to show up. This whole thing was stupid and she was kicking herself for ever thinking it was a good idea. She hated this feeling. This was why she pushed people away. Being vulnerable was the easiest way to get hurt. 

And now a tear was falling down her cheek. She was so in her head about things that she was crying. She quickly wiped the single tear off her cheek and laid back on the blanket, placing the open book over her face. She had to get her shit together. She would not be the girl crying over a guy. Y/N took in a deep inhale and breathed out of her mouth, calming her nervous system. The oxygen was all she needed to clear her head. Her decision was made.

She stood in the sand and tossed her book in her bag. She folded up her blanket and collected her sandals, trudging through the sand to the boardwalk.

“Don’t tell me you’re leaving already. I’m only a few minutes late, and for good reason.” Bucky stood in front of her, in his signature leather jacket, with two cups of coffee in his hands.

“What are you doing here,” she stated more than asked, adding a few more bricks to the wall that was guarding her heart.

“I got your message,” he smiled. He walked closer towards her and handed her a cup of coffee. “Figured we had some catching up to do,” he added.

She stood there, still processing this. He came. He figured out the message and he showed up. He passed the test. She hadn’t really thought through what would actually happen if he came. And now here he was, standing in front of her.

Before she could respond, Bucky stepped closer, taking the blanket out of her hands and splaying it out over the sand.

“Come on,” he urged her. She didn’t object, sitting down next to him as they looked out onto the ocean.

“I’ve never heard you this quiet before. You usually have a biting remark queued up as soon as you see me.”

“I do not,” she argued.

“See, that’s better already,” he joked, giving her shoulder a light nudge.

“I didn’t think you would come,” she admitted.

“You didn’t think I would come or you didn’t think I would decode your message?”

 “The latter is probably a bit more accurate,” she said sheepishly.

“I know it may seem like I’m just a pretty face, but I’ve been known to have clever thoughts every so often.”

His attempts at getting her to loosen up were moderately successful, but she still wasn’t willing to open up just yet. Luckily, Bucky had planned for this. He knew this conversation would take some work.

“Are you happy to see me here?” he asked.

She let out a sigh, “I am. I hate to admit this, but I missed you these past few weeks.”

Bucky placed a hand over his heart, “You missed me?”

She hit his bicep with the back of her hand, “Don’t make me say it again.”

“I missed you too. And all I wanted was to talk to you and explain things. So thank you for giving me the opportunity to do that.”

She merely nodded, encouraging him to continue.

“So let me start by admitting that I am a complete idiot and I probably don’t even deserve a second chance, but I appreciate you giving me a chance to redeem myself.”

“Good start,” she commented.

“I agreed to the dare just to get Zemo to shut up. And I think the only reason I really went for it is because you intrigued me. I always found you attractive but I never pursued you because…well honestly you don’t come across as very friendly.”

Y/N chuckled and he continued.

“And then when I first talked to you, it was like I had this need for you to like me. I wanted to figure out what made you tick, and the more time I spent with you, the more I liked you. I need you to know that everything I said was true and that the person you spent all that time with was the real me. The dare just gave me a reason to talk to you. These past few weeks I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I haven’t been eating, I’ve barely slept, knowing that I hurt you has been killing me. I can promise you, I will never hurt you again. I think I might be in love with you, and this is the first time I’ve ever felt this way so I’m still figuring it all out, but I will do anything to win you back. I’ll bring you breakfast every morning, I will carry all your books and walk you to class every day, I will give you my car. Whatever you need, I’ll do it. Just please, give me another chance.”

She was quiet for a second, processing his words. 

“Could you, like, say something?” he asked nervously, struggling to read her expression.

“I’m thinking,” she responded. “Did you rehearse that?”

He was confused by her question, but answered anyway. “I mean I had points I wanted to hit on. I think I may have strayed a little bit towards the middle but I think I ended strong.”

She gave him a small smile, “Do you really mean it all or are you just telling me what I want to hear?”

He took her hand, “Y/N, I’m not here to bullshit you. I mean every single word. You are the world to me.”

“You used the l-word,” she commented. Bucky found it cute that she couldn’t say love. 

“Yeah I wasn’t planning on saying that, but it’s true. I do love you.” He ran his thumb up and down the back of her hand. She was quiet again, thinking through her response. She never took this long to respond, usually she went with whatever popped into her head. Bucky took her hand and placed it to his chest. “Do you feel that? How fast my heart is beating? It gets like that every time I’m around you. And my stomach always feels like there’s a million butterflies fluttering around in there. You do that to me.”

“I love you too.” It fell off her lips so easily, Bucky thought he must have misheard. 

“You do?” he asked in disbelief. She bit her bottom lip and shyly nodded her head, trying to hide the smile on her lips. He lost control. He lunged at her, essentially tackling her down onto the blanket as he squeezed her into a tight hug. When he pulled away ever so slightly, his face hovered above hers. 

“Are you gonna let me kiss you?” he asked. She simply nodded and his lips were on hers, making up for their lost time. It almost scared her, how easily she fell back into the kiss. Her hand found his jaw as she held him close, not wanting him to leave her vicinity. This was the moment she’d been waiting for and it didn’t disappoint. The spark was there, the longing was there, the love was there. And in that moment she knew that she never wanted to be without him.

They kissed and cuddled for a while and then they sat there together and watched the sunset. Y/N leaned back into Bucky’s arms as he kept her warm from the crisp autumn air. They talked about nothing and everything, trying to catch up on the weeks they had missed. And in that moment she knew she would never grow tired of this. He had somehow managed to thaw her frozen exterior and taught her that love was worth the risk of pain. 

As it started to get darker, they packed up their spot on the beach and headed back to the boardwalk. She knew she wasn’t leaving his side tonight. She’d spent too much time away from him and she wasn’t ready to separate just yet.

“Keys please,” she said, holding out her hand. 

“Oh are you driving?” he asked skeptically.

“Well yeah, it is my car now,” she replied easily.

Bucky leaned his head back, “Of course, how could I forget.” He placed the keys in her open hand, before wrapping his strong arm over her shoulder and pulling her in close to kiss her temple. 

[dark-night-star-light]

Spirit Animals: The Burning Tide (Reread pt. 12)

DISCLAIMER: WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR BOOKS ONE THROUGH SEVEN IN FIRST SERIES AND BOOKS ONE THROUGH EIGHT.

Masterpost

Chapter 1

“It had started seven moontides before” (1). The Wyrm fell for seven months???

“ . . . signing the question with her black gorilla hands” (1). Do gorillas sign to communicate?

How exactly did the Wyrm fall out of the stars anyway?

Kovo’s relationship to his mom is so sad . . .

 “The world was a vast continent that contained jungles and dunes and mountains and snowfields, all connected together” (3). Canon Pangea equivalent? Also, I love how one continent had every kind of habitat.

“There were thousands of animals, all different species . . . ” (3). So how come there are only fifteen Great Beasts, then?

Oh, so the rest fled when they saw the Wyrm coming.

I love how the Wyrm split the continents. That’s a neat little Easter egg (oh no, a pun).

If only Kovo and the other Great Beasts survived, how did life start again on Erdas?

Chapter 2

“ . . . Hazeel’s spirit animal, Poe. His only friend” (9). That’s so sad . . . 

Hazeel knows the Greencloaks aren’t themselves. He knows that the spirals are controlling them and that they are now slaves. Doesn’t that mean that when the Greencloaks overran Erdas, the people they killed and plundered should’ve also been able to figure that out? That means the last arc is kind of wonky . . .

“‘But I already have a guide’” (11). Uraza hates water??? And also how can she be a guide on a ship? She’s a leopard. 

 . . . Can she still feel Abeke even though their bond is severed?

Chapter 3

“‘I set Kirat to swabbing the latrine’” (14). Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show-stopping, spectacular-

“‘I tried bringing her into passive state . . . ’ . . . ‘At least you have a spirit animal’” (16). Rollan cannot take the hint.

“The boy’s crocodile tears had once convinced her to lead him . . . ” (17). This is such a great, loaded line.

“‘He needs us for something . . . ’” (18). Yeah, doesn’t mean it’s a good thing. 

Chapter 4

“In reply, the lion bared his white teeth and growled. Kirat showed his own teeth, which were chattering in the cold” (20). That’s such a funny image to think about.

Why were the other kids that bonded to Great Beasts willing to leave home to go with the Redcloaks? Is it because they were told they could get their animals back?

“‘King . . . ?’ Abeke said. ‘That’s what you call Shane?’ Stead nodded. ‘He tells us not to, but . . . old habits die hard’” (24). Shane literally introduces himself as King in The Return, though?

“The Shane they knew probably would have forced people to call him king on punishment of death” (24). Not really, in my humble opinion. He tried to make sure that the people he conquered had adequate food and shelter, remember? And also he literally pretended he wasn’t the true Devourer for most of the war, so . . . 

“Karmo’s wide brown eyes were on Abeke, who glared right back at him” (25). This is ironic, because last time they met, Karmo was assuring Abeke that he was on the correct side of the war . . . wow.

This book seems to really hate Rollan in particular. He’s been the butt of the joke at least four times already.

“‘One day I awoke to find I couldn’t summon Grahv from his passive form . . . ” (29). But Shane was released from the Bile by Tellun, so how did this happen to him??? Plot hole???

Chapter 5

Even Shane finds Kirat annoying . . . we stan a king (oh horror, I just made a pun). 

“Yumaris guided the group, running her hands along the walls, sniffing the air, and getting into arguments with the stones” (35). Yumaris: Listen here, you jackass. The ocean is a soup, and I will not tolerate your slander towards the truth! The stone:

“‘He’s clearly got his own way of tracking the Great Beasts . . . ’” (36). Because the Wyrm whispers to him, right? But where does the Wyrm get that information? From the tree?

“‘All I know is what these carvings tell us. They say that the Wyrm’s egg fell from the stars and landed in a place called Sadre, deep under the Earth . . . ’” (39). So the Hellans were told that by Kovo, right? It’s mentioned that some Hellans “exiled” themselves to the Place of Desolation (37). Was that when they created the trap? And why did they create it at the “bottom of the world” (37) instead of near the Evertree???

Chapter 6

Kind of a weird thing I’ve started to notice with this series . . . whenever the authors have a chance to pull an end-of-chapter cliffhanger, they do it so weirdly, because instead of a cliffhanger, then switching to the other plotline, they instead do a cliffhanger, then stay on the same plotline. It’s so strange. 

“ . . . Shane would never change” (42). Shane and change are so close to rhyming that it makes this sentence feel really nice when read.

“ . . . inching away from Shane, who was watching her intently” (43). I love how when Shane drops bombshells he only cares about Abeke’s reaction.

“‘ . . . Shane said, stepping toward [Rollan] . . . ‘Stop fighting,’ Abeke said. She pushed both boys apart” (43). Girl, you literally started them fighting.

Mulop-Niri relationship is severely underdeveloped, in my opinion.

“Even knowing that the leopard was under Zerif’s control, she still wished she could see her spirit animal once more” (46). Foreshadowing?

Abeke and Rollan suggesting Mulop talk to Briggan and Jhi instead of Kovo . . . aww.

Chapter 7

“Meilin dipped a moss sponge into a stone basin filled with stagnant water” (48). Is that what they’re drinking, too? Because that’s not good . . .

“Sacrifices to the Wyrm” (49). Why would the Wyrm sacrifice its own followers??? It needs them to conquer? And fight???

Jhi is barely in this arc at all . . . Not a fan of that.

Chapter 8

“Kovo was almost fanatical about the glowstones. He spent every day maintaining them, searching for new stones to replace those that had begun to dim” (51). Kovo the glowstone guard dog.

“‘You don’t know how important sunlight is until it’s gone’” (52). They could have Vitamin D deficiencies.

“Takoda had always argued that he thought Kovo’s reasons for trying to take control of the Evertree were more complicated than just world domination” (53). Yes, but at the end of The Evertree, it never suggests that. All Kovo talks about is the power he wants for himself and the other Great Beasts. He never even hints at deeper motives. 

“‘We can’t have you pining at the window for your lost crush’” (55). Why do I not remember Meilin referring to Xanthe as Takoda’s crush??? Why???

“‘With a catapult we could launch some kind of missile at the egg . . . ’” (57). That would crack it further, though, wouldn’t it.

Chapter 9

“Meilin nearly choked on her spit . . . If Shane was with them, it could only mean that they were in trouble” (59). The differences in the amount of knowledge each group has is one of the reasons I think the group should’ve spent some of the arc together.

“‘Rollan would like me to ask Jhi what it’s like being bonded to a snotty general’s daughter. Also, he wants to know if stubbornness is a skill you picked up from your fancy tutors’” (60). Love that the inside jokes become plot-relevant. That’s just. I adore that.

Chapter 10

“But before Rollan could say anything, Shane spoke up . . . Rollan gritted his teeth. ‘Why does he get to do all the talking?’” (62). Because the connection is weak and he’s asking the important questions??? Honestly love Shane for that.

“Rollan had trouble imagining a world without humans or spirit animals or Great Beasts. The thought of a world without Essix saddened him” (63). Oh, Essix was there, she just wasn’t a Great Beast.

“‘When the Wyrm landed, it caused great destruction - storms, floods, and earthquakes - that wiped out nearly every living thing for miles . . . ’” (63). At the end of the first arc, the weather was really weird because of something to do with the Evertree, right? So can the Evertree impact the weather or something?

“‘The Evertree is the source of the spirit animal bond. And the Wyrm is the source of that power . . . ’” (64). But isn’t the Wyrm taking from the tree, not giving?

“‘The corruption that fueled every spirit animal bond . . . ’” (65). So Kovo hates humans and spirit animals . . . because the Wyrm?

“‘I would gather the talismans and wrest control of the Evertree, by force if necessary . . . ’” (65). How will that help the Wyrm situation? The tree can’t contain it . . . 

“‘Zerif thinks he’s in control, but he’s being manipulated . . . ’” (66). Zerif can be controlled by a not-yet-hatched Wyrm? Also wow, that is pretty much exactly what happened during the Second Devourer War, with the Bile and Gerathon. 

Chapter 11

“A part of her feared what she would learn if she could hear Jhi’s true opinion of her” (69). Didn’t this get resolved in the first arc???

“She didn’t know how things went in southern Nilo, but in Zhong, people didn’t believe that plants had feelings” (70). But this is the Evertree, not an ordinary plant.

“‘So all we have to do is set it off. How do we do that?’ ‘Kovo won’t say . . . it was clear he wanted to keep that knowledge hidden’” (70). Why, though?

“‘I think he’s afraid of one of us becoming infected by the Wyrm’s parasites and betraying our plan’” (71). He doesn’t, but what if Kovo becomes infected? Then they would all be doomed.

“‘If the Wyrm learns of our plan ahead of time, it might try to destroy the tower before it can be activated’” (74). Not five pages ago, Kovo was refusing to tell them the plan, but then he immediately does???

“ . . . she could see the rotting purple spiral of the parasite . . . ” (76). Isn’t it black? Maybe a lighting thing?

Chapter 12

“He didn’t understand how he knew this. He only knew that anything that tried to stop him would fall at his hand” (77). So when victims fall to the Wyrm, they don’t remember anything about their old lives except things that pertain to the Wyrm? Does this mean Conor overheard Meilin and Takoda talking?

“Truly it was a feeling of peace. The calm that comes from one finally accepting his place in the world” (78). This reminds me of something a Conqueror says to either Abeke or Rollan in the first arc, something like, joining our side is the true right and you’ll feel at peace here.

“He had a vague unease echoing in the deepest parts of his mind. A mournful baying . . . ” (78). I know it’s impossible to fight off the Wyrm’s effects, but I wonder if people with a spirit animal take longer to succumb?

“Conor thought her name might be Meilin, and then he wondered how he knew that” (79). So they remember things from their old life, but feel no connection to it emotionally???

Chapter 13

“He knew her weaknesses . . . he could certainly exploit them” (80). Meilin knows his weaknesses, too, though.

“The red light opened, like an eye . . . ” (81). Red eyes on a villain? That’s so stereotypical.

I feel like in this fight, Meilin should’ve struggled with the idea of fighting the Many, because now that Conor is one of them, she has to hurt him, too. This might lead to an epiphany where she sees that, in this moment, Conor and the other Many are the same. If she isn’t willing to hurt Conor, despite the fact that he’s gone, why is she okay with harming these other people? But there isn’t anything resembling that that ever goes to Meilin’s mind. 

“ . . . Jhi appeared at her side, soaking wet and looking quite proud” (83). Proud Jhi reigns supreme.

“ . . . he was now directing the rest of the Many like a general - pointing straight at the bell tower” (84). They didn’t have a “general” before him, did they? Why do they now?

“But Meilin’s sense of triumph was over as soon as it had sparked when she looked to the bridge where Conor had been standing only a moment before - now a pile of burning rubble” (85). It’s honestly unclear to me whether this is because she thinks Conor died in the fire and is grieving, or whether she thinks Conor escaped and is alarmed.

“‘Conor,’ she whispered, for indeed it was” (86). This kind of “and so it was” type of line has been used so much in this book. It’s such a jarring difference from the last few books.

“It was coming from the direction of the water . . . ’Screamers’” (87). Did they have screamers on the ships? And why? Screamers don’t actually do anything, they’re just a warning mechanism . . . 

Chapter 14

“ . . . using her crystal spear to impale the Many who got in her way” (90). I know that crystal would probably normally be such a poor choice to make a weapon, but like, it just fits with the vibe of Sadre so well.

“There was something about the way Xanthe had said this that made him think maybe she felt the same way about him as he felt about her” (90). I like that this series makes only a half-hearted effort to pair characters into romantic relationships. It’s very funny to me.

“His fingers found what he realized too late was Xanthe’s hand” (90). I don’t remember these tiny Takoda-Xanthe moments at all. 

“The Many were defenseless against the glowing crystalline blades of the Sadreans. Every cut seemed to scald the very flesh of those infected by the parasites . . . ” (91). What are these blades made of??? Pure light itself???

“Conor, who had fought even more fiercely than the other Many, had finally been restrained by two burly Sadrean shieldwardens” (92). For some reason, I seem to remember them fighting all the way until the Wyrm was defeated. Also, did he fight harder because he took longer to succumb? And why did the Sadreans spare him in particular?

“The boy fell back to the ground - unconscious but otherwise unharmed . . . ‘ . . . Tell him if he touches my friend again, I’ll make sure he lives to regret it’” (94). But that helped??? And also, Abeke does the same thing at the end of the first arc to Meilin, so . . . 

Chapter 15

“Meilin started at the Wyrm, unable to look away . . . Takoda could see dark and slimy tendrils . . . Meilin heard a groaning sound . . . ” (96). This chapter had a clear lack of editing. It switched perspectives twice and the first line isn’t in all caps like the rest of the chapters.

They made the Wyrm such a stereotypical monster . . . I don’t know what to think about that.

“ . . . the Many grabbed hold of Sadrean soldiers and dragged them to the Wyrm as live offerings” (98). Would they offer themselves, too, or not? Probably . . . 

“ . . . she knew what had stopped Kovo and Xanthe . . . ‘The Wyrm,’ Meilin whispered. ‘It’s got Takoda’” (100). But wouldn’t hitting the bell stop the Wyrm and save Takoda anyway? Why didn’t Kovo just hit the bell?

Chapter 16

“When Xanthe had been lost in the burned-out remnants of the Arachne Fields, alone and defenseless, it had been Takoda who kept her alive” (101). Ironic, considering he blamed himself for that incident.

“It was as if she could see all of Erdas - the aboveground world she had only dreamed of - shining in his dark eyes” (102). They really amped up the Takoda-Xanthe romance in this one.

Wow, Kovo really showed the Wyrm who’s boss.

“Her voice was cold and without emotion, and Xanthe wondered just how much war this girl had seen in her lifetime” (104). But she’s right? The bell is the only way to stop the Wyrm and help Takoda . . . 

Chapter 17

“The floor in the center of the city was drawing back like the folds of a paper fan . . . ” (105). I don’t remember this plotline at all . . . 

“The snare had stopped” (107). Yeah, I remember nothing about this climax, wow.

“ . . . the Wyrm slithered forward and melted into the darkness” (107). What??? Into a bottomless hole???

“’Still. Thank you. Leaping out from the tower to save Takoda . . . I didn’t think you had it in you’” (109). Kovo-Meilin bonding(?) moment!

“’Do they know about the bell?’ . . . Kovo lowered his hand, shaking his head . . . ‘ . . . let’s hope they figure it out fast . . . ’” (109). That’s what they bank on??? Hope? doesn’t sound like Meilin at all . . . 

Chapter 18

SHANE CHAPTER, CAN YOU HEAR ME HOLLERING.

“It wasn’t a fist that had won him the Greencloaks’ talismans. Sacrifices had” (110). True . . . 

“He was gratified to see Abeke purse her lips in an attempt not to laugh at her friend” (111). That’s cute.

“‘You can hear Meilin?’ . . . ‘Is she talking about me? . . . ‘Or, um, Abeke? Any of us really? Forget I asked’” (111). What is this . . . while I don’t like it, I have to admit that’s pretty realistic for the age group.

“Shane knew it was a mistake to give someone like Rollan direct orders . . . ” (112). Why’s that?

“He slowed, fixing his eyes on her. ‘I promise.’ Abeke sighed, not meeting his gaze. ‘I’ve heard that before.’ Shane nodded, feeling the sting of her words” (112). I like Shane, but he deserved that.

“He wondered how many times he would have to save her life before she began to believe that he was truly changed. As many times as it takes, he silently promised himself” (113). This is so sad . . . 

“And somehow these two sets of ruins contained enough power to stop the Wyrm” (113). So they have an inkling of an idea how . . . interesting.

“Shane gave her a smile that he could only hope looked herolike” (115). Pfffffffft, this will never not be hilarious. He’s actually such a golden retriever. 

“ . . . javelins made of ice . . .” (115). Bro, what??? Those are gonna shatter . . . 

“Why did this kid have to question his every order?” (116). Rollan is, like, a few months younger than Shane . . . also Shane himself is a kid. Also, can you imagine being an adult Redcloak being bossed around by this thirteen-almost-fourteen-year-old child. Just. Wow. 

Chapter 19

“ . . . some of them sounding more animal than human when they spoke” (118). How would that even sound??? Probably a lot like a Great Beast . . . 

“‘I tried to tell them they had to stay, but . . . but he wouldn’t listen’” (119). So she cried??? I know they tried to make Tasha seem younger and less mature than Abeke and Rollan, but that seems too far. Why didn’t she just get them?

“‘They only care about our precious spirit animals’” (121). This is ironic, considering Rollan was exactly like this in the first book, but less spoiled.

“‘I don’t need a spirit animal anyway - all he did was lie around and take up space’” (121). Giving major first-book-Rollan energy.

“‘If Zerif wants Great Beasts, he can have mine. I’ll turn Cabaro over myself in exchange for my life’” (121). Zerif will just immediately infect him . . . also wow, this guy is spoiled and stupid.

Cordalles’s main argument is that Abeke and Rollan have spirit animals, but Abeke doesn’t and Kirat does . . . how come she’s still willing to side with Kirat after that???

Also, after Kirat carelessly says he’d turn Cabaro over to Zerif, why do the other kids still side with him??? That’s so dumb. They should feel betrayed.

“‘He was not raised to take orders, he was raised to lead . . . ” (123). This is so dumb. In an earlier book, didn’t someone tell Meilin that the best leaders know when to follow??? Wasn’t that a crucial part of her arc??? Why are we throwing that theme away for one incredibly spoiled kid??? I don’t like Kirat, and one of the main reasons is that he was a massive waste of potential.

“‘We owe you an apology’” (123). I hate this will all my heart and soul . . . no, they don’t. Kirat owes them one, and he never delivers.

“‘These others won’t listen to us - we’re wearing the same cloaks as the army that’s coming this way . . . ’” (124). What makes them think that Kirat will listen to them?

“‘ . . . watching your father build and protect the greatest fortress in all of Nilo by inspiring thousands of subjects . . . ’” (124). If by “inspire” they mean “abuse”, sure. 

I think it’s dumb that an amulet changed Kirat’s mind, even if it was his mom’s. Like . . . of all things??? Really???

This whole chapter . . . just . . . ugh.

“‘Better to live a coward than die a hero,’ said Dawson” (125). In the last book, the opposite is said by Atalanta and I thought it was said by Devin in a previous book . . . well, I was wrong.

“‘How can we possibly fear a thing like death, when we’ve nothing to live for?’” (126). I have to admit, the line hits hard. It hits less hard when you realize that everything Kirat says is a direct contradiction of his two-minutes-ago self. 

“This was a whole new Kirat” (127). Yeah, his development happens way too quickly . . . but whatever.

Chapter 20

“He . . . wondered what it would feel like to be so high above the world” (128). Convinced this is the moment the authors came up with the ending of the third arc. Foreshadowing???

“Rollan, Abeke, and Howl all looked at Kirat, who blushed” (130). Well, that’s new, at least.

“She always had more of a killer instinct than he did” (131). Does Abeke really??? Does she???

Chapter 21

“ . . . she had been afraid that Howl would insist that she belonged with [the other Great Beast summoners]” (133). She can just . . . disobey him. Shane is in charge, and Shane would no doubt back Abeke up.

“‘Who died and put you in charge?’ Talon said . . . ‘No,’ Shane said, stepping to Abeke’s side. ‘It’s a good plan’” (134). Talon appears to be jealous of Abeke already. Also, what’d I tell you? Shane will side with Abeke.

“Shane’s astonished smile at this meager paise sent a tremor of guilt through Abeke’s chest. He looked like she'd just kissed him on the cheek” (135). I’m telling you, Shane isn’t gonna cross Abeke. Also, wow, no need to feel guilty. He’s still the (former) Devourer.

“ . . . Abeke watched as the Expiator burst into splinters and sank into the cold water” (135). I genuinely cannot remember how they get out of this place.

“‘I’d hate to have you as an enemy,’ he said weakly. ‘Again’” (136). I love this line. It perfectly encapsulates Shane-Abeke relationship in this moment. 

“But whatever anger she felt toward Shane ws tempered by her memory of their time together among the Conquerors” (136). I have found an even better line. What interests me so much about this line is that it mentions that Abeke’s reason for trusting Shane was not that he had changed, but because of their time together when he was knowingly deceiving her. In other words, her positive past memories of him outweighed his present redemption arc, and I think that’s such an important piece. Deep down, Abeke truly enjoyed her time with Shane, so she wants to forgive him. And here, she slips and mentions it.

“The icy tower in the middle of the volcano was slowly rotating . . . ” (137). So it’s clearly the same trap. Did the Hellans just duplicate the traps wherever they could?

“ . . . Shane, who was staring at her, his expression unreadable. ‘I . . . can’t breathe,’ she said” (138). Ten out of ten answer right there. Also, all these Abeke-Shane moments went right over my head during my first time through.

“And somewhere in that horde was Zerif himself. She adjusted her grip on the end of her arrow” (140). I know Zerif dies to stop the Wyrm and that’s significant or whatever, but our girl Abeke has been trying to shoot him dead since Against the Tide and I, for one, believe she should’ve been the one to do it.

“ . . . fifty Greencloaks huddled on the eastern shelf . . . The entire shelf splashed into the ocean . . . they had reduced its numbers by a quarter” (141). There are only two hundred Greencloaks??? But there were six ships, each of which carried more than a hundred Greencloaks each, and Mulop only destroyed two ships, so there should be at least four hundred . . . 

Chapter 22

“‘How much stronger?’ Shane said, readying his bow” (147). Since when does Shane use a bow???

“He had cast aside his bow and drew his saber” (148). Oh, thank goodness.

“ . . . the sight of her former comrades fighting tooth and claw against Shane’s desperate forces stole her breath away” (149). Imagine if this line was like “the sight of her former comrades against her former enemies” . . . would’ve been better, in my opinion.

“‘Meilin will love it.’ . . . ‘Who said anything about Meilin?’” (149). I have simply passed away.

“Abeke remembered how the rotating tower had stopped abruptly. ‘It got jammed’” (150). Okay. So. This sentence implies that the snare under the Evertree’s roots and the snare in the Place of Desolation are connected somehow. But . . . why??? Like, the Wyrm can only be in one place at a time, so why is that useful???

“Kirat really did sound like his uncle . . . ‘He’s been like this since you left’” (152). Yeah. He did a complete one-eighty and it feels like it came out of nowhere.

Chapter 23

“‘Deep down, I know you don’t want to hurt-’” (153). I get that Abeke has emotional stakes in this, but I gotta say, that was pretty dumb. Understandable, but dumb.

Shane-Cabaro parallels: both saving Abeke from Uraza. Except one dies . . . 

“The arrow plunged straight through Uraza’s leg” (154). I mean . . . better late than never???

“She had been summoned into passive state by her new master” (154). From that distance??? The Wyrm is that powerful?

“He did not move again” (155). Despite being emotionally prepared for this, it’s still breaking me. Noooooooo . . . Shane . . . 

Part of what makes Shane’s death so meaningful is that Abeke’s own spirit animal kills him. Like. Uraza. Uraza does that. And the other part is Noooooooo, Shane.

Shane dies in Abeke’s arms . . . in front of a whole-ass group of people.

“ . . . but I could sense - deep down - that you had the instincts of a killer” (156). Didn’t Zerif say that Abeke was the most pathetic person ever (or something like that) in a previous book???

“‘A creature of raw and infinite power - power that will soon be mine’” (158). I think this is the heart of my problems with this arc. There’s no motive at all. It’s just “oh, there’s this ancient power that’s pure evil that fell from the sky and now wants to devour the world, and this guy with no motives is trying to control it”. Like, it’s so cartoonish??? Where’s the reason??? The backstory???

“‘The parasites . . . ’. . . ‘They’re part of the Wyrm’” (159). Did they just figure that out??? I thought that had been established? Wait, maybe that was just in the underground plotline.

“‘This is not what was supposed to happen!’ Zerif screamed, kicking out his legs. ‘I command you! Let go!’” (159). Love Zerif’s little temper tantrum. Also, wow, this man is so stupid. He really didn’t even think about where the parasites had come from before using them???

“‘I am fully borrrnnnn.’” (160). So to be fully born, the Wyrm had to . . . pour itself into Zerif??? 

Chapter 24

They just described Raisha’s hands as “scaly” . . . what.

“ . . . holding them both aloft over the gaping pit” (163). Genuinely can’t remember how Rollan and Essix escaped.

“Hanging from the ancient rafters was something dark and heavy and made of iron- A bell” (164). Okay, normally, I’d be so pissed off that the bell appeared conveniently when it was needed, but it had the appropriate amount of foreshadowing and we’re even told why: because the ice melted away to reveal it, so I’m okay with it.

“And quick as a flash, she raised her bow over her head and let fly” (165). Giving Katniss-Everdeen-kills-Coin energy.

Chapter 25

“ . . . struck the edge of the bell with a light ting!” (166). So, I apparently didn’t read very well the first time so I didn’t realize the bell was a huge bell, I had been picturing it as a small baby bell and the “light ting!” didn’t help my visualization.

“Redcloaks and Greencloaks alike scrambled to find stable ground around the perimeter” (167). This line mirrors another line: “The Sadreans and the Many screamed, running to safety around the edges of the town” (105). I don’t really have anything to say except the parallels make me happy.

I like the perspective shifts within the chapter. Very neat.

“This is what people must mean by an out-of-body experience, he thought” (168). Foreshadowing bond token plotline in third arc???

“For the first time in his life, he felt truly free” (169). Yeah, definitely foreshadowing him bonding further with Essix.

“She felt an overwhelming desire to care for every person suffering . . . ” (169). More bond token foreshadowing?

“The wriggling parasite no longer burrowing into his flesh. The Wyrm’s voice no longer hissing in his mind” (170). Does that mean Briggan-in-Conor’s-body will be affected by the parasite?

“ . . . she caught a slight flash of hazel” (171). Zerif has hazel eyes???

“What was a hero but someone who had chosen one time to do the right thing?” (172). I hate this line. It implies that you can do one right thing and still be considered good.

There are so many italicized words in this book.

“The Wyrm was truly gone” (174). Huh. It just fell in lava and died??? Interesting.

Chapter 26

This book has been from Abeke’s perspective since Chapter 21 (with the exceptions of the short passages from each of the other three’s perspectives for a few paragraphs in Chapter 25). And this last chapter is also from her perspective. It’s just. It feels. So strange. I don’t like it.

“Every blade of grass and flower and tree became a smaller version of the Evertree” (176). This needs to be explained in more detail.

“For the first time in centuries, the Sadreans and the people of Erdas met and communed with one another” (177). Wonder if any Sadreans besides Xanthe decided to stay topside.

“When Abeke finally saw Conor and Briggan waiting for them at the shore, she leaped clear off the edge of her ship onto the decks and sprinted toward him at a full run” (177). Based. Also, her leaping overboard is iconic and I can’t believe I missed that the first time.

“Rollan and Meilin were surprisingly awkward upon seeing each other again” (177). Maybe they didn’t meet again during the course of the entire arc so the writers could give us this gem.

“The eyes held her gaze for a moment, and then a sleek golden leopard poured out from between the leaves” (180). Poured out . . . like soup. (Sorry, my brain has shut down from the Uraza-Abeke moment.)

Final thoughts and rating:

The tiny Shane-Abeke moments live rent-free in my head, and while I’m sad about Shane’s death, from a writing standpoint, it had to happen. The only way for Shane to redeem himself was to give his life for Abeke, and it was done beautifully, not only giving his life, but giving his life for their bond, which he helped foster. It’s an amazing end to his arc and I will talk about it more during my Shane analysis. I absolutely adore Kovo jumping from the tower to save Takoda from the Wyrm without a single thought for his own safety. I also love that the inside jokes were plot-relevant, what a fantastic way to tie that in. I also like what I’m going to interpret as the slight foreshadowing of the bond token plotline when the spirit animals and humans switch bodies. During the next paragraph, I really, really go hard on this arc, but the emotional moments in this book were just. Some of the greatest ones in the entire series. The Shane-Abeke moments and Meilin-Kovo bonding and Xanthe returning and Shane’s death and when the group reunites and Uraza and Abeke “rebonding” . . . all of these tiny moments were just. So well done. So despite what I’m about to say in the next section, I would say this book was a positive experience overall for me. 

Starting with the elephant in the room, I have to talk about Shane a bit. While I love the reintroduction of his character, his entire existence is a plot hole. Tellun frees Shane from the Bile at the end of The Evertree, so how could he have merged with Grahv? There are two things that could’ve happened: Shane’s bond being severed completely or Shane’s bond being turned natural. Exploring the first option, Grahv should’ve been unable to go into passive state from the moment Tellun freed him. Now, delving into the other alternative means that Shane shouldn’t have merged with Grahv at all, because his bond would be a Nectar bond now. Between these two alternatives, it is impossible for the events of this series (with Shane) to occur. Ignoring that, this arc in general was a bit of a hot mess. We’re told the Wyrm sucks power out of the Evertree. Then, we’re randomly told it is the heart of the spirit animal bond and that it provided the Evertree with the fuel necessary for that. How is that possible? Is it taking or giving? It feels completely all over the place and threw me for more than a couple loops. I haven’t talked about this much in my other rereads, but I absolutely despised Conor in this arc, aside from the first book. He doesn’t do anything! He displays none of his changed personality, does nothing to further the plot, just gets sicker and sicker (which I’m not blaming him for, by the way). What was the point of having him in the story in the first place? Because fans would want him there? Instead, they should’ve made Takoda be the infected one. This opens up quite a few opportunities the writers could’ve taken advantage of. First of all, Kovo and Xanthe are the two people that are least opposed to leaving Conor behind because of the infection. They also happen to be the two people that are closest to Takoda. There could’ve been an arc of them getting over that to show Takoda they loved him, but it’s completely wasted on Conor. Think about that scene where Kovo jumps from the tower and single-handedly takes on the Wyrm in Takoda’s defense. Now imagine if that scene had taken place after Takoda had been infected by the Wyrm. Kovo has a love-hate relationship with Takoda, made worse by the fact that Takoda is infected, and it climaxes when he fights the Wyrm. It would’ve been so powerful. Conor’s presence in this arc is pointless and I hate it. The last five chapters are all from Abeke’s perspective, and the staggering of the climaxes just. Got to me. The point of having multiple perspectives is to use all of them, and this book severely lacked Conor, cementing my point about Conor’s uselessness. The Wyrm being a literal power-hungry monster that is just there to consume the world and enslave everyone with no motive or thought is just. So dumb. I hate it. It has no substance, no emotion, no point. Same thing with Zerif. Literally just wants power. Why? We don't know. My last gripe: Kirat. I hate him. His character development is so sudden and out of nowhere and he was so spoiled that it’s impossible to like him. His arc feels like such an afterthought. 

Rating: 8/10

[princesssszzzz]

I don't think they'd sacrifice Rhaenys or Jace's deaths just to give Daemon a villain moment though. Those characters die in very dramatic ways; in Rhaenys' case her death is practically half the characterisation we are given about her in the book and the only thing she gets to do in the war. If they want Daemon to do something terrible then he could be responsible for blood and cheese.

Before the show came out I would agree. After S1, they maybe would be willing to do that but who knows. I think Condal really wants to smack people over the head to show he’s a bad guy because he’s always getting defended. He was so annoyed by the reaction to the finale he might just add something crazy just to spite black stans. I don't have strong opinions about Daemon so I don’t care who he kills generally, I could just see why they would want him to kill Jace and have Jace's death be like the red wedding and he’s taken out by his own team member. They messed up by keeping Laenor alive bc at this point Daemon hasn’t done anything to show he’s willing to do whatever it takes to get what he wants. It’s all talk with him so far. He’s also been written as a solider for team black’s cause instead of his own. I don’t think Rhaenyra and Daemon want the same thing but as of right now they can benefit working together. He’s gonna kill greens and his emotions about his brother’s death will die down but the rest of the dance there’s no way his entire story is just wanting to kill Aemond. I think GRRM names him Rouge Prince because he’s supposed to go rouge instead of being a loyal soldier, especially for someone else’s kid to be king. If Ryan and Sara just want people to hate Daemon and not root for him, killing Jace would mean more than greens. He’s killing characters like Vaemond, random servant dude, Aegon’s kid no one really cares about them or will remember them by the time the show ends (the general audience it’s only the fandom that goes hard for fictional deaths) I really just see Alicent’s line dying off as a side quest for Daemon he hates them so much 😂😂 but the real mission here and importance is House Targaryen, the bloodline, and dragons and Jace gets in the way of that.

Aegon’s son dying is less about Daemon and more about Aegon’s motivations. That’s even the same for House Velaryon because they’re starting off with saying yeah we don’t care about Harwin’s sons being here but of course we’ll end off with a real Velaryon taking over Driftmark. I hope Rhaenys is done justice they already fucked her over 🙏 Anon if your team black brace yourself because the showrunners don’t like Daemon

[haleigh-sloth]

This is probably really stupid but I can’t help but wonder this 😭 now obviously I know there will always be those horrible takes about Touya and his abuse, but I felt like there was such a volatile reaction to his trauma where he was being called a “spoilt brat” “born evil” and the one to blame for the state of the family. Just being all round invalidated, and it made me wonder do you think people would have been more empathetic or sympathetic towards him. If we had gotten his backstory 1) through I guess his point of view first and 2) before Endeavor’s change of heart? Like I think it’s being handled very well, but I hate how some people have reacted to it and always wondered if Horikoshi hadn’t decided to humanise Endeavor first and then reveal Touya’s backstory would have people been more willing to empathise with him?

Hmm

It’s not stupid lol

I can't answer on the what ifs, because I don't think it's a matter of those circumstances tbh.

In my personal opinion and experience with this fandom and ever since the hospital chapters released, the biggest problem is that people expected another Shouto situation.

Shouto's situation was quite easy to read. He was beaten, hit. He witnessed his MOM get beaten and hit. He saw his mom have a mental break down and his dad took his mom away. Shouto hated his dad.

Easy to follow, easy to see who is the bad guy.

Touya's situation is....a lot more complicated. Because Touya's abuse was strictly emotional. The damage he took was psychological, while all the physical damage was inflicted upon himself. And to add a cherry on top of what's already a complicated mess, the emotional abuse was due to Touya wanting attention from said abuser. When people think of emotional abuse they'll probably most likely think of berating, name calling, intentional damage being inflicted. But with Enji that was not the case. Clearly. It was abuse inflicted by avoidance. And the avoidance hurt Touya, because he wanted his dad to be the biggest part of his life, just like he was when Touya was very young.

Imo, Touya gets such negative reactions because he poses as a very hard pill to swallow. Children in abusive families are not always going to ask for an escape, to be taken away to a better house with better parents, nor are they always going to place blame on the parents for the things they've done. That's just not the reality of it. Often times they want to stay with their parents that suck, stay in their home that sucks. Often times they lie to protect their parents.

Now, the Todorokis weren't being investigated or anything lolol--BUT Touya poses as that kid who continues to want that relationship with the parent who is hurting him. Each of the Todosiblings exhibit a different reaction to their trauma, and it's obvious how closely Horikoshi was trying to hit the nail on the head with that idea. And I feel that based on some things I read from people, the visceral reactions are either due to personal reasons that this sub plot touches on for them, or people just lacking an understanding in how children and families work.

Both I am understanding toward. But I stop feeling sympathy for those people when they insist that their idea of how to react to abuse is the right way--as if there is such a thing, or when people plug their ears and close their eyes and refuse to learn a thing or two about abuse and continue screaming their shit takes.

Imo I've seen 2 distinct groups who hate Touya:

Shouto stans who insist that Touya is bad for Shouto and the Todorokis or something, or continue comparing his situation to Shouto as if to prove a point about what abuse is or isn't

Villain haters in general (not worth even engaging with tbh cuz they're a lost cause)

I'm generalizing--because there are more groups of people who hate him for different reasons.

But when it comes to understanding the Todoroki dynamics and what the story is building up toward, there are a lot of things within the sub plot people don't want to talk about.

One of them being the fact that Touya wants his dad. In his life. He may not NEED his dad in order to live a life, but he WANTS his dad's presence in his life. And the story is building up to giving the LOV trio what they want--which means Touya and Enji will be in each other's lives, under the pretense that this is what they both want. Most importantly what Touya wants.

The other big one is acknowledging that Rei failed too, and contributed to Touya's downfall.

A couple of things I've touched on in this post but didn't expand on I talk about here and here.

[thebluespirit83]

debunking pro-snape/anti-james arguments and putting it on the internet because clearly i hate myself. buckle up. this is gonna be a VERY long post. im ready for the amount of hate i will get; im willing to take one for the team. 

1. james forced lily into dating/marrying/etc him 

this literally never happened? because its almost as if lily is her own person who is able to stand up for herself-

“I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,” said Lily.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.

She turned on her heel and hurried away [from james]. 

-and so she would not allow someone to walk all over her. its almost as if james (canonically) matured as a person, and she appreciated this, realised he was a good person and got feelings for him? because james’ only negative traits were that he was conceited and a show off. people are able to mature and grow from these things! james did this! he did not ‘force’ lily to go out with him!

2. james and the other marauders bullied snape

you know what, i cant even disagree with this one. you’re right - they did bully him. but lets look a little bit at the context. 

sirius and james were both upper class, naive white rich boys. they are idiots. they were both stupid smart teenagers!! they were popular! and while this does not excuse the gross bullying snape was subject to-

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape’s mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him

Several people watching laughed; Snape was clearly unpopular ... Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

-it (unfortunately) makes sense with context. james and sirius also stopped bullying people, and even expressed discomfort/regret with the way they acted-

“I’m not proud of it,” said Sirius quickly.

“Of course he was a bit of an idiot!” said Sirius bracingly, “we were all idiots!

[sirius talking to remus] you made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes

A lot of people are idiots at the age of fifteen. He grew out of it.

-when they were younger! i’d also like to point out these little lines i noticed when i was finding quotes for my argument which snape stans like to ignore:

James and Snape hated each other from the moment they set eyes on each other

I mean, he [snape] never lost an opportunity to curse James

there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James’s face, spattering his robes with blood

wow, look at that. the hate they felt for each other was mutual! snape also jinxed james! but oh wait - james was the one who matured! snape was the one who bullied his son twenty years later because he looked like james! 

3. snape didnt abuse the kids at hogwarts 

here’s a real argument i saw when looking through some pro-snape posts: ‘snape wasn’t an abuser, because abusers don’t let their victims retaliate, but snape did let the kids talk back to him’

what. the. fuck?! 

this is the dictionary.com definition of abuse: ‘to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way’ or ‘to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about’. i’m pretty sure snape did both of these things-

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!”

“So,” said Snape, gripping Harry’s arm so tightly Harry’s hand was starting to feel numb.

Snape threw Harry from him with all his might.

[hermione’s teeth]  "I see no difference."

‘Idiot boy!’ snarled Snape [at neville]

-on multiple occasions. i’d also like to remind you guys that neville’s worst fear is SNAPE?! his TEACHER, a figure that is supposed to be there for emotional and educational support is his worst fear in this entire world?! above the woman who drove his parents to insanity? over failure, over his abusive grandmother, over everything? his teacher? and for the pro-snaper that used this quote-

Nearly everyone laughed. Even Neville grinned apologetically.

-to claim that it was a joke, it isn’t a joke. because when snape came out of that cupboard, he was terrified. yes, it’s an embarrassing thing to have as your boggart, but the point is is that it is. he is terrified of that man. 

4. james only joined the order because his wife was a muggleborn and he ‘had to’

this is just factually incorrect. james had been sticking up for muggleborn rights since he was in school, far before he started dating or even became friends with lily: 

“Apologize to Evans!” James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

“I’d NEVER call you a - you-know-what!”

so this is literally not true!! plus, at least he did join the order, whatever his reasons where (which were canonically good). snape didnt join the order. snape was friends with someone who suffered discrimination in society, and instead of using his privilege to help her and support her, he joined a group that was set on murdering people like her. when james had a friend who underwent oppression (remus/lycanthropy) you know what he did? he illegally became an animagus. 

5. snape had to be a death eater to survive at hogwarts as he roomed with blood supremacists

this is the shittiest excuse i have ever seen in my entire life. as a poc, this comment really reminds me of the argument ‘i was raised in a racist white household! i cant control my beliefs!’

you can always control your beliefs. i understand not going on big rants about blood inequality in front of a bunch of supremacists, and i understand wanting to blend and fit in (especially because he was unpopular and needed the support the slytherin boys provided), but i will never understand then becoming an active member of the group yourself. he got the dark mark. he helped voldemort. he was a death eater, and a proud one at that! no-one forced him to join. this argument literally makes my blood boil. 

6. snape had a lot of trauma from being raised in an abusive household

okay? so did sirius. so did neville. luna was bullied at school, just like snape. harry lived in an abusive household. did any of those people bully children? did any of those people join a blood supremacist group? and dont get me wrong, im not calling any of these people perfect - they all had a lot of flaws - but none of them hurt another people to the extreme that snape did. 

7. snape saved the trio’s lives many times

this is the absolute bare minimum. ‘oh wow, he didnt let harry die!! what a king! he should be respected and praised! we should excuse all of his other actions because he didnt let people die <3′ 

8. snape is not a perfect person, he also did good that many people overlook

you’re right, snape did do some good things in his life. but unfortunately, for me and many others, doing a couple of good things doesnt excuse all of the shitty, abusive things he did too. we’re not ignoring them - we just dont think they’re good enough reasons to forgive him. 

‘but james and sirius hurt others! you ignore all the bad things they did in favour of the good!’ you do the same thing with snape, first of all. second, they did a lot of good stuff. james’ and sirius’ only crimes were being annoying. for being a bit of a dick, conceited, knew they were hot and were a bit entitled. while these things are annoying as fuck, they were also stupid teens that eventually grew out of their behaviour and became better people. not perfect! better. while snape just stayed bitter at the marauders, long after their deaths, and even took his anger out on an innocent child. 

9. people only hate snape because he was poc and queer coded

as a poc and queer person, please stop. this is a very bad excuse. being poc and queer (which im pretty sure he isnt, but anyway) doesnt excuse you from your actions. plus, a huge amount of harry potter readers are poc and lgbtq. why would they hate snape for those reasons?! 

so thats all i got for today. im not gonna go into a deep snily/jily thing because i literally cannot be bothered. anyway im done. i need to go revise, i’ve already spent long enough on this. 

[arhvste]

❝ my assumptions based on your fav hq character ❞

these are all in good fun and not serious at all, please don’t get upset by them, my opinion doesn’t mean shit bby :,)

HINATA SHOYO

-> a soft bitch with a big heart. you want others to do well and you love positive attention. you do however, get overworked by emotion and sometimes get played because of how nice you are. judge people a little harsher and don’t be shy to put a bitch back in their place, you got this

KAGEYAMA TOBIO

-> we get it youre a bad bitch but sometimes it comes across like you’re still going through your angsty teen phase. stop that, you’ll get permenant wrinkles if you keep it up. let yourself live a little freely and don’t be shy to leave your comfort zone more often. and stop getting sad over the smallest things okay?

TSUKISHIMA KEI

-> horrible taste in men and you have a degradation kink. you wanna be called a little slut in the bedroom but would cry if you were called it anywhere else. you’re very kind people but you’re constantly putting yourself down and thinking you deserve shit over nothing. be kinder to yourself

YAMAGUCHI TADASHI

-> you’re the supportive friend people go to when they need a pick-me-up however, you let yourself get walked over from time to time and it’s not fair on you. don’t be shy to kick a bitch and show them who’s can be the alpha >:) you’re a bad bitch with a big heart and you’re academically stable

NISHINOYA YŪ

-> shush, indoor voices please! it’s okay! we know you’re here you don’t need to shout! you’re probably between 4’0-5’3 and preach personality over looks which is fine because as everyone should. you’re insecure around others and feel the need to have a bigger presence to feel more confident. it’s okay though, i think you’re really hot and you should let yourself feel more comfortable with people you actually like more often.

TANAKA RYŪNOSUKE

-> loyal as fuck and dependable. you’re the bitch people know they can come to should they ever need it. you’re popular and you own every hallway you strut through. you let the feeling of dejection get to you though and worry about how you’re perceived by the people you’re surrounded by especially if there’s a potential love interest in your orbit. calm down and be yourself more, it’s their loss if they don’t fall for you anyway.

ASAHI AZUMANE

-> stop letting people talk over you! you’re that bitch so why the hell do you let people overpower you? you’re hot and you know you’re capable but you wallow up in self doubt and get upset over nothing. remind yourself that you’re hot, loved and talented more often because you need it.

SUGAWARA KOUSHI

-> you’re deceptive and it’s not always a bad thing. you’re good at switching up your personality and probably act fake to certain people which is fair enough. you can be a bit of a bitch sometimes but you’re hot and funny so you get away with it. learn to break down your barriers a little more though because when people start seeing your act they’ll become untrusting around you.

DAICHI SAWAMURA

-> OKAY daddy issues pack it up now. no i’m kidding but you’re attracted to mentally stable people with good morals. someone that will take care of you and be there for you. try to be more self reliant and independent though.

OIKAWA TOORU

-> we know you’re hot okay? you don’t need to post thrist traps on snapchat at 2AM every night we get it! you’re a little whiny and bratty but that’s a given. you’re a burnt out gifted child and you were probably in top classes or top league for a sport between ages 8-14 before you started becoming more average. that’s fine too though, just remember you have talents that lie elsewhere you just have to find them.

IWAIZUMI HAJIME

-> daddy issues 0.2. you’re bossy and demanding but fair. you judge others accordingly and have a good sense of who’s a good person and who’s not. you need to be more open with people and let more people in though. you’re protective of yourself and don’t let your walls down so easily. soften them and let others in more.

MATSUKAWA ISSEI

-> you’re just here for a good time and a good railing that’s all i have to say.

HANAMAKKI TAKEHIRO

-> you’re the bitch that has to listen to the mattsun stans last hook up. you’re hot too, go have a good time.

KUROO TETSURŌ

-> you’re extremely hot and i would absolutely make out with you right here right now. no i’m kidding. i’m not but anyways, you have mommy issues and you need to get over it. you also need to stop being so analytical of people because some people don’t like being read and you step over peoples boundaries sometimes. control yourself you feral thing.

KOZUME KENMA

-> ah yes. everyone’s favourite ‘i have issues but i don’t want to deal with them, so i’ll be a whore online instead’. that’s a half joke but seriously, you’re doing fine bby you don’t even need to worry. nobodies judging you and even if they are they’re way uglier and dumber than you. even still you should be friendlier to those around you and let your guard down a little more.

YAKU MORISUKE

-> you’re like a little dog. yappy and lively. you’re also very trustworthy and i would tell you my deepest and darkest secrets and feel safe about it. you’re strong willed and put others in their place at ease. you do however, need to be a little more selfish and put yourself first at times. selflessness is great but it’s okay to put yourself first sometimes and you need to do that more often.

LEV HAIBA

-> you’re literally so hot and i’d be begging for your attention. you’re also slightly oblivious and have probably had several people crush on you at once but you’ve ignored them all unintentionally. you need to believe in yourself more and remind yourself that you’re that bitch. you’re capable of amazing things you just need to realise it yourself a little more

BOKUTO KOUTARŌ

-> okay mx mood swings you need to stop acting out over nothing. you’re gorgeous don’t get me wrong but dropping your slice of bread on the floor isn’t the end of the world. get over smaller things quicker and become more aware of your surroundings. you have a really good set of close friends and you’re friendly to everyone around you. you’re very very loved but you need to stop getting caught up over pointless things.

AKAASHI KEIJI

-> you’ve probably been called ‘boring’ before but that’s far from the truth. you make snide comments and you’re witty. you’re one of the most mentally stable people and you don’t get upset over petty argument or fights. you do howver nit pick at situations and get too critical. stop that because you only annoy yourself more and put yourself in a bad mood.

SHINSUKE KITA

-> you scare the shit out of me but in a good way. i’d be scared to talk to you because you’re so perfect? you do tend to come across as unapproachable though but that’s not your fault. smile a little more and don’t be afraid to laugh a little louder. your laugh is so pretty anyway so don’t be shy to let yourself loose a little more

ARAN OJIRO

-> you’re the type of person people think about for weeks after seeing you at the airport you’re that hot. you’re reliable and loved by many. you’ve got a good spirit and you’re mentally balanced. you need to stop overworking yourself though and stop getting too worried for other people in their place. you’ve already got enough on your plate so stop taking other peoples problems when you already have your own.

MIYA ATSUMU

-> you’re a bitch. no i have more to say. you’re misunderstood. you come across as a shitty person but that’s just because you’re passionate and hard at communicating in a way that’s not so blunt. you’re petty and dislikable at first but after a couple of conversations, people find out there’s so much more to you. you’re funny, hot and talented. just remember to work on holding back on the blunt statements a little more.

MIYA OSAMU

-> 2nd best kinda vibes. you ARE the pretty best friend but people always ignore that because you’re kinda overshadowed by others around you. you’re like a diamond in the rough and valuable to those lucky enough to find you and get to know you. don’t put yourself down so much and show others you can be independent and unique because that’s exactly what you are

SUNA RINTARŌ

-> you’re hot and that’s it. you’re probably the type of person to not show up to classes but still manage to pass every exam with ease. you’re almost too cool to approach and people probably think you’re bitching about them when they see you on your phone. what they don’t know is that you’re really looking at pictures of cows that have been washed and blowdried. you probably own a pink princess cowboy hat and your instagram is probably everyone’s pinterest board. just stop slacking off though because you can achieve so much more.

SAKUSA KIYOOMI

-> you’re powerful and elegant. you’re very level headed and go about problems the efficient way. you hate time wasters and don’t let people make you their bitch. you probably have a slight god complex but that’s okay because when you’re as hot as you are, it’s understandable. stop being so uptight and sensitive about things though. be kinder to your mind and let go of the things not worth holding a grudge against.

general taglist → @atsumuwoah @bloody-bella @bbymilkbread @miracleboy420 @doggonudez @tsumue @peteunderoos @tsukkisbean @saturnfarie @dear-kozume @zumisace @boosyboo9206 @totorosleaff @27kei @dai-tsukki-desu @angrylittleriri @dearestmegumi @kuxredere @warakou @iss6s @lovinnoya @sophiashortcake @wompwomphq @waitforitillwritemywayout @webworld @brokeasshoee @sunasbabie @rowley-with-ackerman @mjoork @trifliz @curiouslilbeast @ineedsomefoodpls @hp-hogwartsexpress

ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE

[dreamteamspace]

We hit 400 so here’s a- ✨ DREAM APPRECIATION ESSAY ✨

(by Yours Truly. Much thanks to the one, innocent anon who just wanted to ask a small talk question but hit my serotonin-providing hyperfixation.)

1. Self-esteem

I love the way he’s confident in his abilities when it’s become such a “trend” to either be completely and utterly self-depricating about your own skills out of fear of being labelled an asshole or overconfident nowadays.

At the same time you can still tell he doesn’t want to pull anyone down ever, and will always be really careful with that and take every oppertunity to lift up the people around him. Dream has a very emotional voice that gives him away a lot, so you can really tell he genuinely admires the people around him and he’s never afraid to say that they could totally easily beat him in something if he doesn’t have practice with it.

He tends to be a bit too hard on himself, so his friends always encourage him in his abilities, and that’s just. So nice. He celebrates his victories! He gets so so excited and happy when he wins in the manhunts, and I think celebrating your hard-earned victories isn’t something that should be villanized.

He won, and we should KNOW by now that doesn’t mean he thinks he’s somehow better than everyone. He has a pretty good eye on his abilities, and that allows him to really use them to the max.

2. Morality

He isn’t afraid to change the game! His adhd picks out a Cool New Thing and he just goes, You know what? Why not! His adhd goes “do this thing repeatedly another 3847 times” and he’s like, yeah sure!

Nobody expected him to release a song, but he just went for it! He’s been speedrunning so much, but he isn’t afraid to stream it every day 5 days in a row for hours while his friends bicker in the background.

Dream genuinely does the things he finds fun, but at the same time puts in so much effort to make them good and entertaining to watch and never forgets about his viewers.

He’s kidfriendly because he wants to be! Fame-wise, at this point he could definitly swear more if he wanted to (and he does when in other people’s content who don’t care about swearing), but despite that he doesn’t swear on his main because he wants his content to be accessable for everyone.

Sure, on one hand it could be for clout/money, but consider: Dream doesn’t stream the DSMP because he doesn’t want to take attention away from other people. He participates in the videos of his friends. He lets compilation channels and the like do whatever they want and even monetize his content. He lets his friends stream Road Trip on twitch as much as they want for free.

Dream doesn’t not swear just for his fanbase, but he does it because he has so so much respect for people. No matter how high he goes, he’s always consciously focused on respecting and admiring the people around him.

He has genuine respect for creators so much smaller than him, and he has respect for people in his fanbase that are younger than him. He isn’t afraid to go against the norm and STAND for that, either (see the video where he defends his stans).

And he defends his friends so much too! So much so it could almost be a little bit of a flaw sometimes, but I feel like he truly wants to learn from his mistakes. He apologizes for things even when nobody asked him to, and that just shows that he does it out of genuine guilt and fear of hurting someone.

He’s always seemed like someone who is genuinely willing to change to be a better version of himself, who isn’t afraid to challenge what he thinks and what other people think and what the norm thinks in order to improve everything for everyone.

Dream also doesn’t let any of the fame get to his head! As I said before - he’s confident in the things he’s good at, but in a way that doesn’t pull other people down, and he still remains firmly admirable of other people.

And even when OTHER people let fame get to their head (it was a while ago, but there was a video he made about five block jumps, where he added in a clip of a video of another guy doing it complete with credit and link etc. The guy was 100% alright with it at first, but when his video started getting more views because Dream’s video blew up, he started accusing Dream of “stealing” his content (when dozens of other videos of the 5 block jump already existed, and Dream could’ve just put in a clip of himself doing the jump)),,, but he insisted in his reponse that fame gets to people’s heads sometimes, nobody should blame anybody, he genuinely was never upset at him and just said that this just... happens sometimes.

He’s a very forgiving person all around, in part due to being willing to challenge his own norms and give people the benefit of the doubt JUST in case he’s wrong. He lets people enjoy things so long as they aren’t hurting anybody, like allowing people to ship him w people who are also alright with shipping, but at the same time taking a hard stance on, say, how shipping minors is absolutely wrong and should not be done ever (and he’s right).

3. Fandom

He appreciates said fanart and fanworks as well! He thinks dnf fanart is cool and he even appreciates the fanfic part of his fandom, something many ccs wish to ignore or forget it exists altogether (and it IS ofc in their right to do so or be uncomfortable with such content!), but Dream sees the work put into it and how people find connections and friendships through the fandom and appreciates it all the same.

He loves his fandom. So much. But not in the overdone, fake-feeling way I’ve seen other ccs be,,,, he’s just. Quiet and shy and genuine about it but not afraid to defend it.

He’s said before - and I QUOTE - “If you send hate to people or have sent hate to people, in the form of hateful comments or DMs, you aren’t welcome in my fandom. You’re no fan of mine”, which is the HOTTEST take he’s ever uttered and I love that. He really just went and said that. And he’s right. I like that despite how he’s usually more held back and waits things out before taking a stance, he chose this topic to really take a hard stance on and not budge and stick to it.

Pmbata has also said that he believes his fans have his back no matter what!! And that he really loves them a lot!!! And I am!! Emotional!!!!

4. ND/Adhd

He has adhd which is something I relate to personally (I have it as well sdlkfj). He gets excited sometimes!! I love how he shows being fidgety in mc, always pacing and parcouring around,, the way that in manhunts you can SEE when he’s thinking or bouncing back and forth between two options,,, or the way he gets close to people in mc to laugh with them.... He shows so much with his movements by them being quick and daring and calculated (and it’s especially hilarious to watch other people react to it in the video “mc but three people control one player”, where he’s the one moving and Sapnap and George will gasp or go “Dream!!” in surprise when Dream was THIS close to falling off a ledge, but he just laughs sdlkfjsdf).

When he’s not moving around he stands perfectly, perfectly still (which, idk if thats what all adhd ppl have, but I know I have something similar? Like when I’m nervous I’ll sometimes just. Freeze in place. No movement at all). He’s just relatable sdkjf.

There was one Manhunt extra scenes where he,,,,, stims by clapping,,,,,, the lil excited clap in the background,,, I’m gonna cry. I’m so soft for excited Dream that one is such a comfort clip for me!

He also tends to stim by getting under trap doors and then jumping back out of them, or jumping up a block and then walking back down over and over (especially noticable in The Village Went Mad tftsmp episode, where they were all discussing who the murderer could be and he was the only one moving, hopping up the log and then running back down again).

Also it is. Really Soft when he starts rambling and overexplaining something. What’s even better is that George, who is usually present at such moments, will laugh a little at his antics, and Dream will automatically laugh with him.

5. Rp/Uplifting other ccs

Dream wasn’t all THAT into the rp at first, but his server has been so strongly supporting and giving attention to smaller creators that he’s since completely rolled along with it. Being a villain in the RP is a difficult role because you will, inevitable, as much as it is just roleplay and all scripted, always get some amount of dislike from people for it.

Despite that, he’s basicly the main big villain on his own server where he let a bunch of theater kids beat him up in character and imprison him on his OWN SERVER. He wasn’t as into the rp at first, but has obviously been practicing and joins every Tales of the SMP when he can, despite getting zero clout for it.

What Dream also tends to do is find small content creators, see their talent and lift them high. His entire discord server is dedicated to give smaller ccs a place to grow, and when he first found Tubbo, Tommy, Ranboo, etc., they were much much smaller than they are now. He truly wanted to help them make it big.

He’s also added Foolish Shark and Hannah onto the SMP, both much smaller ccs (not tiny, but you get what I mean), allowing them to grow. He doesn’t stream on his OWN SERVER. He let himself get imprisoned to let the good guys win on his OWN. SERVER. He’s willing to play the villain and everything.

An interesting thing though! A lot of people used to/still do clown on Dream a bit for his sometimes uncertain acting,,, but when he’s around people he knows well (Sapnap and George, Tubbo and Tommy) we’ve seen him go ALL OUT. I have the theory Dream might be genuinely afraid to accidentally be mean to someone in character and have them misinterpret it sldkfjsdf,,, so he’s rly careful when he goes into the rp, and sometimes even when he’s in it he goes quiet, especially with other people around.

But also the fact that he needs time to feel comfortable around ppl is,, a mood,,, and adorable,,, sdlfkjsdf-

Apparently he’s also shared his youtube algorithm secrets with Tommy?? Which he had only shared with Sapnap and George before?? Dream took one look at that chaotic kid and immedietly adopted him as his little brother. He literally got up super early to rp the prison visit. Idk about ya’ll but I would die for someone first and get up horribly early for them second-

6. Friends!!

Dream?? Considers so so many people his friends?? And despite having so many friends, he also has his few closest friends (George and Sapnap) whom he would absolutely die for in a heartbeat. He WILL defend them with everything he has and loves them so so much.

He listens to them and really, truly wants them to succeed. He respects them so much and will go OFF about how good they actually are and how talented they are and how important they are to him.

I can’t even COVER everything about how much he is SOULMATES with Gorg. They live in each others heads rent-free. He mentions him all the time. They get!! So happy when they’re around each other!!! Their voices get so soft,,

And I can’t even BEGIN to explain the energy of Sapnap and Dream just moving together permanently. Imagine moving together with your best friend. Like, permanently. Into one house. They’re best friends Your Honor,,,,

Also,, remember the Techno and Dream rivalry? And Dream has recently said that he’s hesitant to make a serious manhunt against Techno because he doesn’t want there to be any feud between them or have them be compared to each other. He said that while he absolutely wanted nothing more than to beat Techno at first, now that he knows him better he just wants to be friends with him. He wants to be FRIENDS. With his, essentially, mc RIVAL. Friendly rival, but still. He doesn’t even wanna fight Techno or have ppl compare them cause he,,, wants to be friends with him,,,,

7. Vulnerability

What I feel like really sets Dream apart from some other ccs for me is that he’s willing to be vulnerable. He will tell George he loves him. He defends his friends. He sounds so, so genuine when he tells his fandom that he loves them.

What’s just really rare to see, especially in male ccs, is that vulnerability. It’s becoming more acceptable as time goes on, but it’s certainly not easy, and a lot of people become and stay long-term fans BECAUSE they can see how genuine he is.

I know Dream looks up to Mr. Beast a lot, for example, but honestly? I think he’s a little better than Mr. Beast. Because he feels more genuine, more bound to what he believes is right. I’m sure Mr. Beast isn’t a bad content creator! But ultimately they have different target audiences and I’m very glad Dream is the way he is.

Less of that insecure masculinity and more willing to be vulnerable, to care about things, to get emotional and to encourage and uplift the people around him.

8. Pure Brainrot

Green boi has nice deep calm soothing voice. Little shy laugh. Wheeze laugh. Gorg live in his head rent-free. He lov friends. He lov block game. He good at block game,,, a little shy but confident,,, big heart,,,, soft voice,,,,, rambles sometimes....

He also Gender. He’s so gender. I don’t know how else to describe it. I want That. Whatever That is. My gender is Dreamwastaken

[poisonousquinzel]

https://lady-ha-ha.tumblr.com/post/160715688748/is-that-comic-before-the-reboot-and-which-one-is

(I have not read this comic) Is this true? (if so, ivy deserves someone better).

Post

Kay, first off both of those people are Jarley shippers so take everything they say with a grain of salt and then some, cause no. that part isn't about how much Harley loves Joker and will always choose him over Ivy. Literally you can tell ops don't know what they're talking about cause her whole thing in those issues is going to kill him for years of graphic abuse but ultimately falls back with him once she’s face to face with him.

Like wow, congrats on missing the fucking point again but not surprised from people who ship her with The Fucking Joker.

also, ffs, can anyone please have basic comprehension skills and realize that Harley and Ivy are both fucked up sometimes because they’ve got issues and that’s not comparable to Joker’s long ass history of graphic and disgusting abuse.

Harley and Ivy are villains, they're not a wholesome cookie cutter, White Picket Fence, super vanilla ship with no bad moments. They're both bad guys with a fuck ton of trauma that they both have to work through, and have done so at this point. 

Gotham City Sirens was published between 2009 - 2011, Harley and Ivy weren't blatantly romantic at this point nor had they had anywhere near the development that they’ve had at this point.

Like don’t go into Harlivy content expecting them to be the perfect wlw rep with no flaws during their arcs from BTAS to current time cause that’s just not realistic. They’re both deeply flawed people who’ve got a fuck ton of trauma that they need to (and have) worked through. 

I have talked about the BTAS issues here and this post is good at explaining them too. 

X

X

Harlivy is not and has never been a purely wholesome, goody-goody ship. They’re messy, they have issues, and they have bad moments sometimes, but they both worked through their seperate trauma and came out stronger and better because at the end of the day, they care about each other. 

Harlivy has messy, toxic moments sometimes, but they’re not, and have never been, abusive. There’s a difference between unhealthy moments and a ship being abusive. 

That’s completely different to how Joker acts Constantly, because he does not care that his actions towards Harley are abusive, because he doesn’t give a shit about her. 

He enjoys hurting her. He enjoys ruining her. 

Jarley has always been intended to be written and shown as a domestically abusive relationship.

This is also the first instance where it's directly referenced that there's something more than platonic between her and Ivy, other than the reference in Batgirl Adventures. 

Gotham City Sirens is also not connected to any verses.

This didn’t happen in the timeline we’re in rn with Harley Quinn (2014)/(2016)/(2021).

Comic timelines and shit are stupid and make everything more confusing and awful and I hate it sdfjdksksdkjsd

-

this is gonna be a long post since ops wanna just cut and paste random bits of the issues like jarley stans always do (cause jarley never has good moments that aren’t entirely surrounded by him abusing her) I’m going to show them in full context. *added a keep reading cause it is a lot

(All panels shown are from #15, #18, #19, #20, #21, #23, #24, #25)

So, Harley's entire thing at this point in the GCS comic in that she's been triggered by flashbacks of Joker's abuse and she breaks into Arkham with the intent to kill him.

The entire thing in these issues is showing her smarts and how she knows people's trump cards to get under their skin so she can break into Arkham. 

She’s trained to identify these things in people and she's fucking good at pushing people's buttons. 

this is also just one of my fav Harley covers so I wanted to show it jsdjksdks

“Trump cards. Everyone has one. Places where the armor we build around ourselves is weakest.” 

She’s right. And it’s now shown that Harley’s willing to use those below the belt trump cards if she has to.  

And frankly, I’d say this is worse than what she says to Ivy. And I’m not surprised she did it. She didn’t want to, she tried to get him to just open the door - 

“Don’t make me do this, Aaron. There are some secrets that should stay hidden. Things you should never learn about your own life.” 

but she’s also entirely fueled by rage and the desire to kill Joker. She came here for a reason and she’s not leaving until she’s done it.

“I’m going to kill you. For everything you’ve done to me. All the times you’ve made me feel useless and small. For all the times I will never forget. For all the things I can never forgive. All the memories -”

“Hello, Harley. I’ve missed you.” 

“Memories. That’s all I have left. The past is gone and all I have is... memories. 

Memories.

Memory. 

Gone.

I guess I too have a trump card.”

“Oh, Ivy. You know exactly what my answer is going to be. But you’re hoping you’re wrong, aren’t you?”

She’s also right about this, they already mentioned this in #18.

“How did I become the bad guy?”

“You’re the one choosing a man over her girls.”

“Are you kidding me? You would never say that to Harley, and we both know she’d dumb us in a flat second if Joker called her.”

“Hey! That’s not fair-- Actually, that’s probably true.”

“The difference is, she can’t help it. You can. And she’s working on it. You’re not working on it.” 

“Too easy, Ivy. Too easy. I know your weak spots. Now I just need to push.”

This is exactly what she’s been doing since the starting point of this post. She’s still in that mindset and she knows she can’t beat her on a regular battle field. Neither of them can. 

“Like I said-- You beat me in any level playing field. But I don’t fight on those fields.” 

Harley’s biggest strength as a villain is her ability to completely mentally stall her opponents and learn their weak spots. She wouldn’t win against the majority of the Big Bads if she didn’t fight on a different field than they are. 

so, like yeah, out of context what she says to Ivy seems awful and completely screwed up, and it is, but it’s also built up really well and it’s completely in character for her at this point in her fall during these issues. 

Is what she did fucked? absolutely. It’s not painted that it’s not. 

Ivy Literally Goes To Kill Her For It.

In the end of this all three of them are recaptured by Catwoman and Batman and that’s where we’re starting off at again. 

“Oh, Harley.

The only human I’ve ever called a friend.

To what lengths will I go? Where are my own limits? She is the Strangler fig. And I am the tree, choking underneath. 

Without me, she could never grow. 

But without her, I would fall if I grew too tall.” 

“Will she ever stand by herself? 

Will she ever be ready? 

She is in throes of madness. She sees him, her brain flooding with adrenaline, it makes her excited, nervous, then the feelings start to fade, and she needs more. And more. 

She sees it as passion. She sees it as love. 

But it’s not. It’s addiction. And she’s relapsing.” 

Ivy is well aware of the nature of their relationship. She’s not stupid and she’s been shown already to know that it’s something that takes time. It’s not a one off break up and it’s over. That’s not how abusve relationships work. 

What do I do?

I could use my pheromones to alter her brain chemistry.

I could leave her behind abandoning her to the wilds of her own mind.

I could kill her right now.

Show her how red Nature can be.

There's one other option.

It would require patience.

Even love.

Maybe I'm more human than I want to admit.

"You have one chance to answer this."

I know, if she agrees, she'll be doing it for revenge. For him.

"She put us behind bars."

But maybe if I get away from this place, if I give her something else to think about. Maybe she can break the cycle. But it has to be her choice.

"I'm going to kill her. Come with me."

So yeah, it’s definitely not a just “Harley hurts her and runs off with Joker and it’s just a plain ol’ her choosing him over everyone and that’s that.” 

Jarley shippers love to just reduce all her scenes and arcs down to their “epic love” and shit, but that’s taking away literally everything about her and reducing it down to the 3 panels that they’re “cute” in. Her arc in this part is fucking heartbreaking to read.

And Ivy damn well knows what’s going on with her. She’s smart and she’s the one that’s been there throughout all of this. She found her in the park after he shot her out of a rocket. 

And she knows it’ll take time for Harley to get over and through his manipulation, that’s just how it works with abusive relationships. 

But she’s also not forgiving at first, she’s mad and rightfully so, until she sees the sate of Harley’s cell and realizes how bad her addiction is at that time.

A lot of the unhealthy moments on Harley’s side when it comes to them are directly caused from the effects of being in an abusive relationship with Joker. Because she’s always in this area of her journey in those moments. She’s never fully over him or emancipated. 

And that’s realistic. It’s hard sometimes to be friends with someone who’s in abusive relationships like theirs, having to watch them return to that person time and time again and it’s frustrating after a while. 

I know from personal experience, it’s really hard to watch someone you care about go back or forgive someone that continues to hurt them. 

But abuse victims desperately need a support system outside of their abuser. It’s a crucial part of being able to escape, because when they do try to get out they need someone there or they’ll literally have no where to go but back into their abuser’s arms.

It’s heartbreaking and it’s really rough for everyone effected, but that’s just how it is most of the time. Especially in their case, as they’re not just regular folk dealing with this. 

If she doesn’t have Ivy, Harley has no one else to go to but Joker, on more than just an emotional level. 

She’s lost her job. Her income. Her home. Her livelihood. Her everything.

Most of the time she has no other choice but to return to a life of crime after she’s released from Arkham because she can’t get a job, she’s a notorious criminal and she’s got a lot of issues that don’t just disappear with a bit of therapy. 

She has no other choice but to return to Joker because the other alternative is the streets. At least she knows what to expect with him. 

And that’s not even getting into the manipulation, gaslighting and degrading abuse that he drills into her constantly. 

He’s made her believe she’s not anything without him. That she’s not smart or useful or anything. 

And that’s why it’s so damn important for her to have a support system and why he’s so damn against Ivy. 

Because Ivy is the good voice on her shoulder telling her he’s wrong and that she doesn’t deserve that. 

-

And on Ivy’s side, she’s aware she gets very near cutting off all parts of her humanity. 

She’s a plant goddess, she’s insanely powerful and she feels everything through the green. Frankly, she’s not even on the same playing field as these villains. She’s significanty more powerful than Harley and Joker. 

Her connection to Harley is what keeps her humanity in tack, because despite everything, she does care about her. She was the first person she let in, the first person Ivy called a friend. 

The person that was able to get through to her in #14/#15 when she was losing herself. The one that was able to get through to her that the dude was manipulating her. 

“Ivy, I know you think you love this guy... but you’re just gonna end up strapped to his rocket!”

She had to knock her out for the dude to trust her / not attack them anymore. But Harley got through to her by mentioning how they first met in the park when she saved her after Joker shot her off in a rocket.

And Ivy is understandable turned off towards humans considering her origin and trauma around that. 

She’s got a lot of trust issues.

But both of them work through their seperate traumas over the years because their affection for each other is stronger than the issues their trauma has given them.

-

and also, sometimes, they just have shit writers. that’s an issue overall in comic fandoms. Some writers just fucking suck at getting any of the characters right, let alone LGBT characters, who’re notoriously treated like garbage by DC. 

[angelkurenai]

Better to speak or to die? - Sebastian Stan x Reader

Title: Better to speak or to die?

Pairing: Seastian Stan x Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: Loving Sebastian gave you the chance to understand what it is like to meet your soulmate while he realised what it is like to know he could never love another woman because his heart would always belong to you. If only he could give you more than that though, instead of have to congratulate you on the night of your engagement to another man. A business deal made between your father and his ties you to a loveless marriage with someone else, something which you are willing to accept only for Sebastian’s safety to be ensured. Not that he is willing to accept it too.

“So, does he speak?”

The voice was soft and low, light as much as it could be given he hour and the event itself but laced with such pain and such grief that one would begin to wonder what kind of great loss the man had suffered. You only wished you could wonder, though, because knowing was only a curse able enough to compete with your guilt for being the reason behind that grief.

People inside were still laughing, and smiling and talking, some were dancing to the music that still seemed to carry through the night to you, much as you had tried to isolate yourself from all of it. Staring into the stillness and darkness of the night you had almost managed it, almost been successful. Key word: Almost. There was no succeeding in that, there was no winning the fight against your thoughts - the war against your feelings about the man. And just like the music, his presence that was carried towards you even in the silence of the night, reminded you of the bitterly happy scene unfolding inside. Everyone was almost intoxicatingly happy and cheerful and yet nothing and nobody could get you drunk in it, could wash away the bitterness in your mouth or could take away the stinging in your eyes from the unshed tears.

“Pardon?” you asked, feeling like it took you a good couple seconds to reply. If he noticed he didn't comment. And if he noticed the attempt to take in a steady breath and failing miserably he didn't let his feelings for it show either. You were grateful.

“The uh knight.” he took another step closer when he noticed that you hadn't moved from your place, either your muscles refused to obey you or your body and mind had a better sense of self-preservation than you thought, you didn't know. Who knew how you'd react to seeing that pain on his face from up close? Who knew how you'd react to the close proximity in the first place?

He must have had that in mind because just when he was about to get even closer, he stopped himself. But it still was close, it still was so close you could just reach out and touch him if you wanted to and oh did you want to. Every cell in your body wanted it. Deep down you almost believed – you wanted to believe, no matter how wrong that was – that he knew that and stood at arms distance in hoped of you reaching out.

“I'm-” you blinked several times “I'm sorry. I don't understand what you're talking about. I- I feel like my head is... a bit in the clouds these days. Not with happiness though I can't seem to be able to focus.”

He hummed, nodding his head “It's alright. I was just-” he looked ahead of him at the vast green garden splayed in front of you “I suppose I got too carried away by my own thoughts.”

“How so?” you couldn't help but asked, encouraged by the small smile that lifted at the corner of his lips.

“That story you read to me, about the knight and the princess. The one where he doesn't know if he should confess his love to her or not.” and then it fell and you hated yourself more, if possible “We were in a place very similar to this, we were very much like this, when you first mentioned it to me. I couldn't help but... remember it. I suppose, it's all a losing battle. Against my thoughts, against my memories, against-”

My feelings for you. My heart. My own self. My pain.

There were so many words that could fill in that sentence and each one of them hurt more than the other one. You didn't want him to continue, that much you knew.

“Yes” you nodded your head as well, eyes focusing for a couple on the glass of champagne in your hands “How could I possibly ever forget? I remember everything about you, aout us.”

You hadn't meant for that to come out loud but it seemed that he appreciated it because it put a smile on his lips, albeit sad, as his blue eyes found you again. If only he didn't look so dashing in that suit, if only he didn't look like he could easily not be just another guest to the part but rather the host- And then you remembered that he was not and could never be, not when it was another man's place to.

He nodded his head, holding your gaze for a couple more second before whispering “Is it better to speak or to die?” he quoted the line and yet you felt like he wasn't speaking about the book “So... does he speak?”

“I don't know... Does he?” you asked in return, your eyes filling with tears that you had been so carefully trying to fight ever since you saw him during the beginning of the party.

He held your gaze, longer each time he would and certainly far longer than appropriate, before he gave you again a half sad smile and tore his eyes from you “I was hoping you'd know.” he said before his eyes cast down, a frown set on his face “Should he?”

The whisper and the way his voice cracked felt so much worse than all the pained looks you'd seen in his eyes during all of this. It hurt worse, in a way that no words could describe. It was almost as if he was pleading for you to tell him how to act, how to speak and behave, how to... end his pain, how to put an end to his torment when it was obvious you weren't going to end it for him. It wasn't that you didn't want to, if only, you actually couldn't.

“Should she?” your voice was barely above a whisper, you wouldn't blame him if he didn't hear you and truth be told you didn't know if you wanted him to have heard you.

Should you really do something to put an end to his pain? There was only one way, one you could think of, but that was not possible. Not after tonight for sure.

“Time will tell then? We'll see.” he sighed in the end, after a couple seconds of silence. He took a sip of his drink, his eyes focusing on the glass before he smiled but you couldn't face the hollow and pained smile again, not after all these times so you looked away, until he spoke again.

“I suppose congratulations are in order, right?”

Your head snapped in his direction and any attempt, no matter how poor, at seeming calm and at peace, happy even, faded right away. Your eyes locked with his as you held your breath.

“Sebastian-” you started, but the lump in your throat prevented you from speaking.

“I mean-” a bitter laugh “I haven't gotten to tell you so yet, have I? It's-” he cleared his throat “Congratulations, on the engagement. He's- he's a good man, honest and trustworthy. Kind and very loving to his family, he'd do anything for them and also you now. You don't have to worry about a single thing, he'll make you happy. You're lucky. With a husband like him you'll-”

A scoff of a laugh that broke free from your lips cut him off, your watery eyes managing to wipe even the small fake smile he had on “You're kidding me, right?”

“I-” he started but you shook your head furiously with pursed lips and glossy eyes.

“What are you doing, Sebastian? Why are you doing this?” you asked again, your voice cracking “You know very well that this is not a marriage I wanted. None of this is what I wanted, not with him. Yes, he is a good man. Yes, he is honest, the most honest of all of my father's business partner's sons I've ever met. He is the only one that will do something good out of this arrangement, out of this business deal. He won't take my family's money to spend it in deals about trafficking or weapons or who knows what else. And that is the only reason why I've accepted this. Yes-” you hissed “Yes, he is a good man that could make me happy, if only I had it in me to feel that. If only I had it in me to love him, because I know how much I've tried already and failed every time. I know I can't. He was a better choice, but that doesn't mean he's my choice. None of this is my choice, Sebastian. There is nothing normal about this and nothing that is worth of congratulating. If you want to say something, then wish me good luck surviving the rest of my life. Because I've long ago stopped living since this deal was made and there is no happiness for me in the horizon.”

You let out a shaky breath, choking luckily only when you were done rambling. You closed your eyes, praying that your tears would stay away as they were supposed to. Closing your hand into a fist, you also prayed that the shaking would stop before he noticed.

“You-” you opened your eyes, sniffling despite the smile on your lips; it was sad and it hurt “You've ruined every man for me from now on. Who would have thought?”

“If it's of any importance to you... you've done the same so... we're on the same situation.”

Despite your better judgment, you couldn't help but let out a bitter laugh. Looking up at the moon, you let out a sigh “What has my life come to? What is this fucking mess...?”

“A mess? Is that what it is to you?” Sebastian raised an eyebrow, and you noticed the pain in his voice.

“Sebastian, it's my own engagement party and I'm- here and I'm- Look at me. I'm-” you looked away for a second as you spoke in a weak whisper of a confession “Barely able to hold myself back from falling into your arms. You- all you have to do is ask it and I'd be yours and I-” you paused, looking back at him “That can't happen. That's why this is a mess. Not you, not us, but me.”

He spent a couple seconds breathing in and out, as if trying to calm himself, to get his heart rate under control “You know-” he spoke up softly “Maybe I should have told you earlier, as in earlier when we were still-” he cleared his throat, stopping abruptly “Yeah. Maybe. I mean, I always was at a loss for words with you but- You look great in white and you are stunning tonight. I can only imagine... You'll make a wonderful bride, I know that. Especially if you are truly happy.”

“Come on-” you laughed bitterly again “We both know I won't be able to do any of that, Seb.”

“I didn't mean-” you took a sharp breath in when you felt his fingers on your cheek, not having realized as you kept your eyes away that he had gotten so close “During your wedding with... him. I meant during a wedding you'd ave chosen with a man you love and a man who can make you truly happy.”

“And you're saying you would?” you whispered, not having the strength to beat around the bush anymore. It would only cause more pain, there was no use when it was just the two of you.

“I could try. I would want... I want nothing more than to be able to try.”

“I know.” you choked out, nuzzling your face in his palm “Gosh, I know so well, Sebastian. And I wish, if only, there was a way, another world even another lifetime where we could-” the lump in your throat stopped you from speaking.

“There is only one world, this one, but we all create worlds of our own based on the choices we make. If we chose to be... like this, together, if we want to then we can fight for it and-” he paused when he noticed the way you were frowning. It wasn't only guilt to have to let down the other man inside now, him having been too good to you already, it was also fear and doubt that it could ever happen “We could run away. Together. Have us a life together, away from all this.”

“Don't.” you choked out,taking a painful step back “Don't do this to me.”

“You know I want you.” he continued anyway “You know I never stopped wanting you. Never stopped loving you. If you just- Please just give me a chance.” and then he asked it, he really did, and you tried to will all of your strength to keep yourself from crumbling down. Or worse, from giving in.

You willed yourself to believe he was not really asking.

“This is not fair, Sebastian, you know this is not.” you forced out.

“Why not? It's not fair for me to watch you marry another man you don't love, either. It's not just for you. You know you don't and won't even try to deny it, for the sake of a business deal made between your fathers. For the sake of-”

“Your safety? Yes I would.” you said more determined “Sebastian, I'd give my life for you, sacrificing my freedom and happiness for your life is the least I can do now. You know what my father would do to you if he found out? Do you have any idea?”

“It doesn't all have to be so grim. It doesn't have to-”

“It has to.” you cut him off firmly yet softly “We both know it. We have to... let go, of the past of what was and what could have been. It was- I will always cherish the memories but please, just please, don't do this to me. If you still somehow, if there is some part of you, that still loves me the you won't keep going. You'll let me do this. It really is not fair otherwise.”

“Why?” he finally asked, lips pursing as his fight against tears was becoming harder with each passing second.

“Because you're the only one that could end it all, right here and now. With just one word, you could have me if you only asked. Really asked. I'd leave it all behind for you and...” you took in a shaky breath when he took a step closer to you “That's the most selfish thing I could do. Please, don't make me act so selfishly. Please.” you nearly begged.

You nearly begged because the look in his eyes told you a different story. Those eyes of a man madly in love with you for the first time didn't calm you down, they scared you. And the fear you felt about his own safety only seemed to increase when you realized there was no concern for himself there.

“Tell me goodbye.” you spoke up, fast before he could say anything you'd regret “Tell me goodbye, leave tonight and- and never come to see me again, Seb. Let me never face you again. Make this easy, please. Even a little bit, I need that from you.”

“You know I'd give you the world if I could. I always wanted to, I still do.” he whispered and yet his words, as much as they could be considered comforting, put a feeling of dread within you “But this time I won't.”

He pulled away, taking several steps back “I'd better leave you alone to enjoy your drink. I'll see you around, (Y/n), I promise this is not the last of it... of us.” and you hated yourself because this meant the torture would keep going for the both of you but you wanted it to with every fiber in your body; you selfishly wanted him to keep fighting in case one day you could win together “Give my congratulations to your fiance too.”

[burnedbyshoto]

spiral

— Honestly, what could go wrong when you’re lusting over your close friend and you’re locked in a box with only one way to get out? Well, not a lot, honestly.

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pairing: kaibara sen x fem!reader

warnings: smut, 18+, gloryhole, dirty talk, praise, fingering, sexual tension, reader is a pervert, quirk use during sex (spinning cock lol)

word count: 2,695

a/n: this is the second gloryhole fic ive written, but its completely different from the last time because its like not a cult fic LMAO!!! anyways, I think yall basic shouto and bakugou stans could do well to stan this class 1-b man because when I tell you he is another deviation of the two of them personality wise.... I mean it! 

day 5 main kink: gloryhole

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If you had known precisely what you had just gotten yourself into right now three hours ago, you would have laughed at yourself. Without a doubt, there was no questioning that the predicament you had concealed yourself in was one that would bring you great shame once this wall was gone, but for now, you would deal with it.

At the bitter age of twenty, having graduated from the hero department over in Shiketsu High, you had been almost shocked when you were reached out upon by the graduating class over at Yuuei, to come and join their agency. You had accepted it with caution, unsure if you could live a life paycheck to paycheck that was as new as they come. But, it was a decision you would come to never regret.

Or at least, not until right now. 

You had been on patrol with your coworker turned friend, Kaibara Sen, hero name: Spiral.

His quirk was an interesting one. A quirk that allowed him to gyrate -- spin -- every limb and ligament on his body. It caused some pretty asshole moves in close combat that not only stung with the piercing metal on his gloves but also sent you flying away. Countless amounts of times, you had pinned him only to spun around like a spinning top and slammed back into the practice mats.

You hated it.

Or well, you hated his quirk in a sensical way (note: do not attempt to beat him through a crowd, he always wins). In the nonsensical, coming of age brain of yours that had been for the most part silenced due to Shiketsu’s no-dating-policy, but as you grew fond of your coworker, frequent workout buddy and sparring partner, you couldn’t help but wonder just if… well… if he could spin his cock.

You would be lying if you said you had never imagined what it could feel like. You wondered if his cock was curved, or if it was straight. Would the veins be prominent? Too many times, when watching quirk-plot porn videos, you found your mind lingering onto his ability, which leads you to scream into a pillow, your hormones both skyrocketing and plummeting in your horror. 

You weren’t a perv, you like to remind yourself as you changed into your hero costume. It was merely a rational, human thought! Humans were curious beings, after all! Sure, Kaibara was attractive, and his voice was… so low, deep, and raspy that sometimes you would try to – NOPE NOT A PERV!

Blazing hot cheeks drummed in time with your hammering heart as you finished dressing, hoping to get out and clear your mind with helping out the community as a hero! You were a hero!

Not a perv!

Nodding to yourself in the mirror located in your designated locker, you slammed it close and left.

Unfortunately for you, or fortunately, Kaibara was already dressed in his costume and waved at you in greeting as you approached him.

“Afternoon.”

“Yeah, yeah, shut up!” you flustered, your back stiffening as you continued to stomp ahead, readying to leave the stupid agency and get your afternoon rounds done. 

You weren’t a pervert!

With three years since graduating from high school, three years of this agency having been founded, and three years of becoming friends with the esteemed and infamous class 1-A and 1-B from Yuuei, you had learned one thing for sure. This group of Yuuei students seemed to attract the worse kind of trouble like a moth to a lamp.

Without a doubt, you knew that was the reason why you had Kaibara somehow ended up in this horrible, ridiculous quirk from a child that just so happened to manifest their quirk out in the open. And of course, it would be the most humiliating shit to ever happen in the entire world of quirk apparitions.

“Uh, the mother said it’s probably the father’s quirk!” came the apologetic, nearing frantic voice of Deku from outside the steel box both you and Kaibara were trapped in. 

You couldn’t even see Kaibara’s face, and the perv in you screamed over the lack of even having his body pressed against yours! No! Nothing! As a matter of fact, there was a divider between you and Kaibara, a giant wall with a hole near your crotch area.

“I can’t believe you idiots got yourselves trapped in this!” came the amused, annoyed, and somehow antagonizing voice of Ground Zero. 

“Shut up!” you screamed back. “They looked at us, and it happened! It’s not like we touched the kid!”

“Y/h/n,” Kaibara’s voice sighed, and you felt your face ignite at the sighful tone on his raspy, deep voice. You pouted at the slight scold in his manner and felt yourself looking down in shame as he continued. “Don’t argue with Ground Zero. Hey, Deku, how we get out of this?”

The both of you were silent for some time, the outside world quiet as you waited for an answer.

“Oh, um, I don’t think you’re going to like it…” Deku’s voice laughed awkwardly from outside the box, and you frowned.

“Just tell us.”

“I-It’s uh… it’s a quirk called Gloryhole!” Deku squeaked, and just as you knew the successful and well-recognized pro hero outside of this box was undoubtedly red in the face, you felt your already warm face turn into an inferno. “I-I-It’s exactly… ohmygod!”

“The shitnerd is apparently a fucking perv and can’t finish his stupid sentence. Anyways, this quirk only works on shits like you with unresolved sexual tension and only removes after you use it,” Ground Zero’s voice barked from outside the walls.

“KACCHAN!”

“Shut up, Deku!” Ground Zero fired right back, and you could feel your body trembling at the news. Oh no, your perverted mind finally caught up to you in the worst of ways?! Although he did say unresolved sexual tension, that could totally be onesided, right? “We’ll be back in an hour, get it done, or fucking else.”

They left you, and you realized that despite your panicking pitched breathes, there was no noise coming from Kaibara’s side.

Oh no, this was all your fault! 

Oh no, oh no, oh no!

“You, uh,” Kaibara spoke softly, and you felt your hands clutch onto the fabric above your breasts. “You have unresolved sexual tension with me?”

“No,” you denied immediately, your forehead crashing against the barrier between you and Kaibara at the blatant, stupid lie. “Yes. Ugh, I do, but that wasn’t something I was planning on telling you!”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s embarrassing? What was I supposed to say when you pin me against mats during sparring sessions? ‘Hey, Kaibara, does your cock also spin? If so, can you fuck me with it?’”

You slap your hand across your mouth, eyes going wide in your panicked embarrassment. That mouth of yours was genuinely going to get your tongue cut off or lips sewn together one day.

It’s silent for a bit, but there’s a sound of clothes ruffling. The rate of your heartbeat seemed to increase exponentially as you saw something shift from the view you had of the Gloryhole. “Well, if you want to find out, I’ll be more than willing to give you a demonstration.”

The pervert you may or not be did not hesitate to respond back.

“Please?”

And you watched as his shadowed figure approached the hole, and a pink-headed cock pushed through the hole into your side. You watched with a gaping jaw at the still-growing cock before you. Without a doubt, it was more than seven inches and was glorious, gravity defyingly curved upwards. It was proud as it was thick, and you watched as the underneath of his cock scraped across the bottom.

A soft grunt strangled in his throat at the cold, rough sensation, and you watched a small, glistening bead of pre-cum appear from the slit on his head. You’re not sure how quickly you dropped to your knees, but you did know that your mouth took him on completely. Within the first drop of your mouth on his cock, you enveloped at least half of his cock in your mouth. A loud bang hit the wall, and you felt a warmth in your chest, knowing that you had already affected him.

Your lips and mouth glided against his length, your tongue pressing and lapping at the underneath of the head of his cock, trying to cock to become as hard as it could be, because it was still growing. A particular needy, near sloppy suck of yours, sent a loud, dizzying guttural noise from Kaibara’s side. A noise that sent liquid heat spilling into your cunt as your hand gripped the base of his cock, bobbing your head slowly, as leisurely as you would allow yourself.

His taste was indescribable, faint yet had you licking his length for more, trying to cover your tongue in his pre-cum. 

But the issue with a proud curving upwards cock, was that you found it awkward to choke yourself down his impossibly stubborn curve as he began to thrust his hips to meet your mouth and travel into your throat. Grunt, gasps, and growls seemed to be growing in volume and repetition on his side of the wall as you relaxed your throat, chokes, and gags sounding wet and sloppy on your side. 

“Fuck, just like that, wait up,” Kaibara moaned, a thud coming straight above your own head, letting you know that he had pressed his head against the wall. The thumping of his hips on the wall was slowly becoming musical, white noise as you bobbed your head further along his length, throat vibrating with your need to make him feel good. And the weirdest, most surprised splutter came from your throat as his cock spun in direction.

Once curved upwards, making it nearly impossible in the space to take his cock all the way down your throat, was now downcurved. It stretched your jaw out entirely as he didn’t bother to pull away to do it, and your throat stretched out in a way you had never experienced before as you coughed and staggered against his length. But, it was a pain that made your clit throb and allowed his cock to go even further down your throat.

You did what you could only do once your throat stopped hurting, and the sheer pleasure of having your throat stretched out in a more desirably wait set in: you moaned.

It was a long, pitchy noise that you swore you could feel against the steel wall that your free hand supported you against. Your toes curled at the way his intensely thrusting hips faltered for a moment, undoubtedly turned on by your noise if the twitch in his cock said anything about it. You moaned again, and again, and again. You continued to do so against his snapping hips until Kaibara was practically snarling your name with the intention and muttered promises of what he would do to you once the barrier was gone. 

Your mind was gone at the point, the promises of fucking you against the window of his apartment that overlooked the Tokyo skyline had you shoving the pants off your hero costume down. Your hand on his cock tightening in its grip, but the one manipulating your pants off, sunk into your cunt, thumb on your clit. 

A mewl left your lips as you began to play with your wet heat, and you drove your mouth and head closer to the hole, enthusiastically taking him in further and further. 

“Imma fuck you so good when we get fucking out of here,” Kaibara promised, teeth undoubtedly pulled into a snarl, his thrusting in bizarre speeds as you tried to keep some piece of sanity as you continued to finger fuck yourself, all too pleased with him absolutely using your mouth. But, you registered his words just well enough to respond back, choking an agreeing noise as you bobbed your head enthusiastically. “Had I known you just wanted that slutty pussy of yours to be fucked, I would’ve done this with you ages ago. Would’ve pinned you down on that mat, and claimed your cunt as my prize.” Your eyes rolling back in your hormone-induced euphoria, your own dirty fantasies having played that scene in your mind countless times. “I want to hear you choke on my cock more, I want to hear the saliva and drool leaving your mouth. I know you’re fucking your cunt, so do it well enough you’re moaning like a paid prostitute. I promise you, I’ll make sure you never want to see another cock again that isn’t mine!”

A choking, hiccuped, and wet breath expelled from your mouth, and you hadn’t even realized you were crying at the moment. But, you agreed, head bobbing in your agreement.

And so, it continued. 

You pushed forward, his length reaching new depths of your throat until you had your nose smashed against the metal, cold wall. Your throat manipulatively squeezing and milking his throbbing cock, tongue, and teeth rubbing against his protruding veins until Kaibara was stuttering out your broken first name. 

The wet noises of his saliva drenched cock meeting your drooling throat and mouth grew louder with every slap, and you wanted more. You needed more.

“Fuck, y/n, you take me s-so fucking good. I think you have me entirely in your mouth like the fucking little pervert you are,” Kaibara hotly laughed, a soft thudding from near your chin sending your mind in a feral daze of how it was probably his balls. “Doing so well with my directions, you really do deserve to be fucked properly after this.”

A low, lewd whine strangled from your throat, your hot, swollen lips sucking harshly against the base of his cock as he continues drilling, and the melodic moans from his mouth made it all worth the fact your lips and nose are starting to tingle from the sufficient lack of oxygen. But it’s also your curling, pumping fingers in your cunt that add onto the headrush you get, the slick and essence coating and dripping from your pounding fingers send you into a series of keen and mewls against his cock. And you can perfectly find each sweet little pleasure spot. 

You were close, and by the consistent twitching and throbbing of his cock and the thick coating of precum on your tongue, Kaibara was too.

With your impending orgasm, you felt your body begin to tense up, shaking, and moaning with the tipping sensation you loved. And Kaibara, entirely lost in his own passionate, horny endeavors, shook as he slammed into you again, again, and again.

With a fiery determination, your cheeks hollowed out on his length as he pulled out, a resonating “fuck!” screamed from his lips as your tongue swiped at the salty silt on his cock, and it was all over.

You came on your fingers with a loud, pitchy scream, and thick, hot ropes of cum spurted from his cock onto your awaiting mouth, dirtying your face slightly in his heavy ejaculation. Swallowing the cum, a shiver ran down your spine as you quickly cleaned the remaining cum on his cock. Slowly, you removed the fingers in your cunt, and you shuddered at the pulsating heat form your core as you dropped to the floor as his soft cock disappeared from the hole. 

Laughing softly, you looked up at the ceiling of the box that was slowly disappearing, allowing fresh air to enter the sex smelling box.

“So, how about dinner?” Kaibara asked, and you chuckled, running a hand through your abused face.

“I don’t think I’m hungry.”

“No?”

“You might’ve proved you can spiral your cock,” you began, turning your head to look at Kaibara, who was collapsed on the floor, barely put together as the two of you locked eyes. “But I still would like to try it out for real while you properly fuck me. After that, if I’m hungry for food, I’d love to go for dinner.”

He laughed, his hand running through his sweaty locks.

“Sounds like a deal to me.”

[fumingspice]

All The Things She Said

Part: One Two Three

Requests are open and I don’t have a life so knock yourself out with them xo

Pairing: Lana Winters x Reader 

lit the last update so that i cant put off seven wonders any longer. enjoy. mwah

Warnings: one (1) hot and sexy milf, implied smut

It made Lana Winters’ blood boil to the core seeing you, your friends and yourIt made Lana Winters’ blood boil to the core seeing you, your friends and your date discussing themes, co-ordinations, transport and the apartment you had all planned to book to stay overnight in. You could see it in her when she overheard Heather or Emmett making jokes that you were getting attention after your promposal.

You knew the idea of organised formal events gave her headaches unless she really wanted to go, so frankly you were pretty surprised when you found out she would be one of the teachers chaperoning the dance.

“You’re kidding me, right?” Emmett asked, smothing down a suit he was tryin on. Just a few more days to go until the prom. “I thought you said she broke it off.”

You unfolded your arms and straightened yourself up to read a few dress magazines which were sitting on a stool in the viewing room. “She did,” you replied, looking at different dresses on each page to try and get some sembelnce of what you wanted to wear. 

Emmett looked fantastic in his suit. “Be honest, Y/N. Is she bothering you?”

You shook your head and chuckled. “Gosh, no. Not at all,” you replied. That was true after all, you were keeping up with the prom thing because you knew that it trained Lana’s attention back on you.

“If you say so,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “Did you hear that her title got changed? She must have finally signed the divorce papers.”

You were frozen slightly for a moment. The news that Lana had actually signed for divorce after having put it off for years made the entire thing seem real.

And on God you loved the feeling.

“Are you ready to go dress shopping?”

You nodded, a wide grin showing on your face. The three of you strode out to the dress shop. Heather already had her heart set on a specific dress that she had seen months ago. You, on the other hand, had barely given it a second thought.

Manny was insistent on purple, claiming that it was your perfect colour.

It was also the colour of Lana’s bedsheets the first time you’d visited her home.

So, it was decided. A beautiful, vibrant purple dress with a slit that went up your thigh. Strapless. Just how Lana liked it.

The prom was taking place out of town in a hotel built around the ruins of an old castle. Your legs and jaw jittered out of every feeling swirling around your body and mind. The sea of your peers socialising, dancing, not-so discreetly drinking in the lit-up ruins was magical. It was like the essence of whatever parties must have taken place between the old walls of the ballroom came back to life every so often.

You noticed Lana through the corner of your eye wearing a red dress. Her eyes softened as she took you in, noticeably getting distracted from her conversation with another teacher as she raised her eyebrows at you.

You glanced away, making sure not to show her any emotion whatsoever.

When you had walked far enough through the lobby, Lana took your hand and walked slightly faster. There was an empty first-aid suite in the hall, lined with small beds incase guests ever got too drunk or took ill. Weird thing to have.

You danced and sang, drank, and laughed with your friends, swinging from Manny’s arms and pulling him in close. You certainly didn’t just look like friends tonight and it was driving Lana insane.

After what had been hours of stolen glances, longing stares and not so accidental brushes of contact, you finally worked up your nerve to go talk to her when she went behind one of the far-off stone pillars for a cigarette.

“I knew you weren’t going to be able to hold off those all night,” you said. Lana turned in surprise.

“I didn’t think you were going to speak to me tonight,” she replied, taking a deep inhale. “You seemed more than happy with your date.”

You smirked at her ill-attempt to sound irritated.

“Can I bum a cigarette?” You asked. You leant against the pillar on your back so that she couldn’t look away from you again.

Lana chuckled as she passed to you. “I thought you had no interest in smoking.”

You coughed heavily. “I don’t,” you wheezed. “But you look hot as shit when you do it and I wanted another way to keep your attention on me.”

The brunette shook her head. “Your wearing your necklace,” she admired, pulling at her own.

You nodded. “I had to have some symbol of the one I love on me.” Your words left your mouth before you even had time to process it. You muttered a profanity under your breath. “I’m sorry, Lana. I wasn’t thinking-”

Lana didn’t skip a beat in taking your hand and guiding you back into the main building of the hotel without explaining herself.

Your confusion almost continued until Lana opened the door and pulled you into the room. Before you had time to open your mouth and ask what on Earth was going on, she pressed you against the door and kissed you.

With that, it was like a magnet being held back was allowed to swing to its attraction. You clutched your arms over her neck, arching your back so that your bodies met. Lana's lips eloped yours as her hands stayed trained on your back and waist.

How on Earth did your French teacher manage to be the one who touched you and set your soul on fire.

Lana's tongue met with yours, her teeth biting down on your lips then going for your jawline. Tiny blotches appeared under her bites and nips as she guided you towards one of the beds and sat on it with you between your legs.

You tried to keep up with her pace, but in reality, you had never experienced something like this before with Lana. By now you felt like you had kissed her a hundred thousand times, but nothing came quite close to the feeling of having the room set on fire and watching from within the flames.

You felt one of Lana's hands trailing from your belly, over your breasts and resting on your throat in a light squeeze. You broke free from her kiss, your lips visibly swollen. Lana's mouth trailed your neck and jawline.

"I thought we were casual," you breathed, her actions driving into your abdomen.

Lana chuckled breathily. "Oh, baby girl. There's nothing casual about you and I.”

Her answer was satisfied you enough to let her get back to the kissing. For now, at least. You were going to absolutely milk the life out of Lana for having ever suggested that you anything less, but right now you just wanted her to work off her damn jealousy.

“God, Lana,” you spoke between her fiery kisses. “If I knew this is how you were when you were jealous then I would’ve acted up weeks ago.”

Lana chuckled into your skin. “Jesus H. Christ, you have quite the mouth, Y/N.”

Her eyes, dark and glossed, collided with your stare. She had the most beautiful brown eyes you had ever seen, and you were almost willing to get lost in her warm gaze. Lana pulled your body onto the bed and lent over you.

Lana’s nails scratched lines up your thigh, navigating themselves under your dress to the point that your eyes snapped open and your breath hitched.

“You put a lot of thought into getting this dress, didn’t you?” she asked. “You told me that you hated slit dresses and that you wouldn’t wear one unless you absolutely had to.”

You smirked. “Clever girl,” you whispered, feeling her hand scratch further up your thigh. Her fingers had almost reached between your legs when Lana pulled back.

“You aren’t wearing underwear?” You nodded and got met with Lana’s melodic laugh. “Y/N, you really are something.”

You could hear the music pounding from outside. t.A.T.u’s “All The Things She Said” had always been a song that you had made a mental note about getting railed to, and right now that somewhat looked like your wish was about to come true.

You took Lana’s hand and pushed it closer to your centre, moaning when you felt her fingers cold against you.

Whispers of, “are you sure?” were followed by slow moves being made for the first time as your lover delicately slipped her fingers to where you were desperate for.

She was slow and gentle, drawing low moans from your like a confession. You would’ve been more than happy to lay under Lana and allow her to watch you be completely undone by the delicate touch of her fingers and mouth, and you knew for a fact that there was no way you would be joining you friends in the rented apartment tonight. Eventually, your own hand slid up Lana’s dress and between her thighs. Your joint moans sparked up a weird melody of romance.

“I love you too,” she whispered into your lips as your arm tightened around her when you had both finished. 

“You know, if that’s what’s going to happen every time I say something like that then I’m going to have to say it more often.”

Even now, after the years. The loving, the learning, the fighting and the experience. Proving your sanity to your mom, who eventually approved of your relationship. It was always Lana, and it was always you.

taglist: @sarahp-stan @jumpoffabridge-t @sarahpaulsonsoftie @definitelynot-a-writer @bottom4delia @delias-bitch-craft @creepingwolfberry @thesapphictimelady @goodeday2u @that-fucking-error @saucy-sapphic​

[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

Birthday

Summary: could you do a hs losers x reader where the readers new to town and hates her bday bc each year her past friends and family had always forgotten or did nothing so when richie finds out her bdays coming up he tells the losers and they all plan a special surprise party and richie saves up and gets her something super special and the losers r all like wow he’s never gotten anyone anything like this b4 so she finds out that he likes her or something so it’s like the best bday she’s ever had

Richie bikes swiftly passed you, faster than he usually does, which can only mean he’s trying to surpass you. You barely refrain from flipping him the bird in public, as you too throw your weight into peddling. It’s no use, Richie is more athletic than you by a long shot, and he’s been practicing with Eddie for track. You’ll never be able to catch up with him with no viable effort.

‘You asshole,’ you yell out to him, noticing an elder woman pledging through her yard too late to stop your exclamation. She regards the both of you with malcontent, stabbing her hark too brutally in the soil of her allotment for it to be a coincidence.

‘Not my fault your short legs can’t reach the peddles.’

You growl, lifting up from your saddle to race faster, but Richie sees you do it and does nothing but laugh.

Any other time you might give him hell for it, but today, you are in no mood to indulge in Richie’s escapades.

It’s your birthday, and while for most that equalizes a fun day stacked with presents and cake, to you it stands for a day full of misery.

Your birthday is cursed. And no, that is not you being dramatic. At your ninth birthday, your cake got slammed into floor, therefor ruing the gift your parents had been working on for weeks, and which was their only present.

At age ten, you fell off your brand new bike into a ravine and had to go to the hospital to get eleven stitches. On your fourteenth birthday, you and your parents got into such a huge fight they send you up to your room and forbad you from sneaking down at any point in the day.

There are more examples to back up your claim for the terrible birthdays, but you have tried to desperately block them all out, so you won’t rehash them.

That’s why your so peeved that Richie is forcing you to the quarry.

‘If you could tell me where I’m supposed to be going to bet u could find a short cut and be there faster than you.’

‘Nice try Dora, I’m not telling you anything. It’s a surprise.’

‘Alright, I get two attempts. If I can’t guess where we’re going, I’ll do your homework for a week.’

‘And if you do guess it?’

‘Then you owe me a favor and no matter for what reason I cash it in, you don’t get to complain.’

‘Fine, bring it miss know it all.’ Richie slows down to slide next to you, the wind picking up as the two of you descend down the mountain. His smile is mischievous and cheeky, probably too confident to think you’ll be able to reckon the spot he has in mind.

If only he knew that you had limited the possibilities to two places, the exact amount of guess you were granted.

‘Hm, are we going to the arcade?’ Your first theory is. Richie doesn’t have anything on him right now, except pennies that have been rinkeling inside his pockets the entire bike ride, the only thing he needs to go to the arcade.

Richie smirks, and shakes his head. ‘Try one my dear, may I say that the odds aren’t in your favor right now?’

His impressive ego in the way he taunts you with the right answer fuels your desire to be right. ‘Are we going to the Barrens?’ You sing, smiling wide as Richie’s shrinks.

‘Eh, no?’ He says, but he sounds petulant. ‘Fuck this shit, what gave it away?’

‘A girl never reveals her secrets’, you say covertly, forgetting momentarily about the agitating day. You suspect that might have been Richie’s intention.

It’s not like the Barrens is such a stretch in the first place, the losers and you have made that place your own, but you do hypothesize that he may have planned something special for you.

Your theory turns out to be true, as you can spot a long table at the end of the dirt path you and Richie are currently riding on to get to the clubhouse. The table is stacked with a variety of candies, your favorite, drinks that are sweet enough to rot your teeth, something Richie should be more aware off - having a dad who is a dentist-, and a giant cake with eight candles on. Each one representing a loser.

You say nothing as you approach, in a sneaky way torturing Richie a bit more before revealing that you’re at the verge of tears of this nice gesture. Richie slows down his speed by dragging his shoes along the dirt, glances darting nervously towards your face.

‘I know you said no parties, but how else was I supposed to show off my rocking dance moves?’

‘Do you mean the moves you make that look like you’re dying?’ Stan chides, him and the rest of the losers rolling up behind you two. They’re all walking next to their bikes, and Bill’s hands are smudges with cake residue he somehow missed while cleaning up. They didn’t want to be here before you and ruin the ‘surprise’, but it’s clear everyone has worked hard to organize this for you.

‘Fuck you Stan the man, the color green doesn’t fit you.’

‘Happy’, Bev grounds out, leveling Richie with one look, the way only Bev can, and then address you. ‘Birthday.’ She hugs you despite you still holding your bike, and you let it clatter to the ground with a loud bang.

‘Thanks Bev.’

‘Happy Birthday’, the other losers also call out, because there’s just too many of them for each to wait their turn.

‘We hope you don’t mind we don’t have any presents, we spend basically all of it getting ingredients for the cake, which we had to redo- twice.’

They don’t offer any other explanation about why the cake had to be remade two times, but by Eddie’s scowl you can fill in the blanks.

‘No, honestly, this is already too much.’ It is too much, but their efforts are so kind and heartwarming that you have to bit back a happy squall. No one has ever bothered to organize anything for your birthday, whether it be purchasing a two dollar present or even ordering a cake, but these people that you had met less then a year ago were willing to scramble together all the money they could, just so they could turn your day special. Thank god for moving to Derry.

For the first time in years, your birthday has brought smiles and laughter, and no tears and weeping moods.

‘Nonsense my dearest young lady, this is but a blip on our radar, a speck of dust on the tv, nothing compared too-‘

‘Can we please cut the cake now? Before something else goes wrong with it?’ Eddie glowers, refuting to wait for an affirmative.

‘Don’t forget the candles,’ Ben says as he follows Eddie to the table. You’re about to join them, when a hand on your wrists stops you.

‘Hey, Y/N? You really don’t mind this right? I know you said you didn’t want anything but I know how nice it is be caught off guard with something like this.’ Richie rubs the back of his head as if that makes him see any less anxious. It’s incredible how smart someone can be while simultaneously also being so dense.

‘Richie’, you say as you smile, unable to hide it any longer. ‘It’s amazing, thank you so much. If there is any way I can repay you I’ll do that. I’m really happy with this.’

‘That’s good, not that I was worried about it, who isn’t a fan of everything I do?’

Rolling your eyes only spurs Richie on, but it’s become an automatic response now, you can’t help but do it.

‘Oh, I almost forgot. I did get you another gift. Two actually, if you count my huge dong as one.’

‘Gross Richie, why do you always have to add something sexual to everything?’

‘It’s my game babe, love it or leave it. Anyway, here is the gift if you want it. If you don’t that’s fine too.’

‘Don’t get all shy on me now Rich’, you tease as your bump your arm into his while grabbing the package. ‘I’ve just gotten used to your antics.’

The package isn’t heavy, but it also isn’t light. It’s wrapped in enough layer that you can’t feel what’s inside of it just by holding it, but that was probably Richie’s intention. That or he is simply horrible at wrapping up.

While you carefully peel off each layer, you begin to speculate on what it could be. It could be a gag gift, but Richie looked sincere, and his eyes behind his glasses are magnified in true anticipation, a gag gift wouldn’t illicit that response.

As soon as the final layer is detached, you gasp, armored by the actual gift. It’s a blue bracelet, covered in butterfly pattering. You once mentioned having a similar one as a kid that you loved but lost one day while playing outside and had been sad about for weeks.

You can’t believe Richie had kept it in his mind, and had gone out to look for it.

‘Richie… I don’t even know what to say right now.’ You exclaim, squeezing the bracelet in your hand tightly, a blush covering your face. Richie’s mimics yours. ‘Thank you’, you say while reaching out to him and kissing him on the cheek. Richie face burns a brighter red.

‘Yeah… glad to be of service.’ His mind is ball parks away, and he is left dazed.

‘Come on Y/N, it’s time for you to blow out the candles.’

You go easily, letting your hand linger around Richie’s, deciding mentally that you’ll do it tonight before you go home. Your birthday has already been better than anything you could have imagined, and maybe it has one more miracle left to give. If Richie says yes to your question about going on a date, then this will truly have been the best birthday you have every had. By the love struck expression Richie is walking around with, you have an inkling as to what his response might be.

You blow out your candles, but you don’t need to make a wish. You already have everything you could possibly want.

----

‘Off course that asshole buys her a gift, but never returns the money I loaned him so long ago. I’m not a fucking bank.’

‘I think it’s cute.’

‘No, Eddie is right, I’m also waiting on my refund.’

‘It’s adorable he bought her something, he really can’t hide his crush anymore.’

[fallen-gravity]

Cheap Thrills and Expensive Snacks

Mabel grins. “Grunkle Ford, do you want to go on a road trip with us? One last adventure before we have to go home?”

Ford’s smile softens with sadness. He’d gotten so caught up in reveling in Bill’s defeat that he’d almost forgotten the kids were heading back to California at the end of the summer.

Ford shakes his head. “I would love to, but…” he frowns. “I’m not sure we have enough time”

The young twins exchange grins, like that’s exactly the response they were waiting for.

“I wouldn’t say that, Grunkle Ford” Dipper grins, looking like he’s struggling to suppress a fit of giggles.

“We have all time in the world” Mabel finishes Dipper’s sentence for him, and in perfect unison the twins pull out a roll of measuring tape from their pockets.

Notes: Here's my belated entry for Week 3 of Forduary: Road Trip!! I absolutely love the road trip trope, and highkey wish Ford could've gotten to see some of Stan's competitors just for the sake of how awful they were compared to the Mystery Shack. C'mon! Give Stan some credit.I also wanted an excuse for Ford to bond more with the kids before they went home, and what better way than through a never-ending roadtrip that somewhat breaks the laws of time and space?

@forduary

AO3

Ever since Ford heard the first bird chirping the morning after Weirdmageddon’s conclusion, he’s felt like a thirty-year old weight has finally been lifted from his shoulders. For the first time in decades, Ford has found himself able to sleep, able to eat, able to do and say anything he pleases without having to speak in hushed tones or cast a cautious glance behind his shoulders.

For the first time since his childhood, he truly feels like himself again, and no longer like a marionette whose strings are always on the brink of snapping under pressure.

It was that first morning after the war, upon waking up before others (out of habit, mostly), that he allowed himself to truly sit and ponder on everything he’s been missing since shutting himself out from the world in his early twenties. He quickly came to the conclusion that the things he missed most were always the things he’d always had just outside of arm’s length; He missed the thrill of discovery, of exploration,  the passion for his life’s work that had faded into thin air the moment that fateful first test run of the portal had failed.

Most of all, he missed companionship.

As much as he hated to admit it to himself, Ford needed other people in his life more than anything else, even more than Ivy League schools and research grants and all the knowledge in the universe.

He told Stan the reason he wanted to take a boat out to the Arctic was to track and contain the remnants of Weirdmageddon that had begun to spread outside of Gravity Falls. But truth be told, he would’ve asked Stan if he still wanted to travel world with him regardless, because Ford found himself wanting nothing more than to chase their childhood dream and never let it go again.

There’s a light knock on his study door as he’s scribbling down navigation notes and he’s half-expecting to see Stan when he turns to the noise. He’s instead met with Dipper and Mabel, standing side by side in his doorway.

“Got a minute?” Dipper asks.

“We have something super important to ask you!” Mabel beams.

Ford places his pen down on his desk, and smiles. “I’m listening”

“Well,” Dipper starts. “We’ve been thinking about how we didn’t get to spend a whole lot of time with you this summer because...” he shrugs. “Well, because we didn’t know you existed until a few weeks ago”

“And that’s totally unfair to you!” Mabel throws her arms up in the air. “It’s not your fault you missed out on all the fun because you were trapped in another dimension”

Dipper nods. “And that got us thinking of all the time we spent with Grunkle Stan, and the road trip he took us on a few weeks ago without you. I don’t know if that was because he asked you and you said no, or if he left without telling you out of spite, or something”

“And that’s when a super genius idea came to us!” Mabel grins. “Grunkle Ford, do you want to go on a road trip with us? One last adventure before we have to go home?”

Ford’s smile softens with sadness. He’d gotten so caught up in reveling in Bill’s defeat that he’d almost forgotten the kids were heading back to California at the end of the summer.

But…a glance to the calendar hanging by the doorway tells him it’s August 29th, and the twins are set to leave after their birthday party ends on the 31st.

Ford shakes his head. “I would love to, but…” he frowns. “I’m not sure we have enough time”

The young twins exchange grins, like that’s exactly the response they were waiting for.

“I wouldn’t say that, Grunkle Ford” Dipper grins, looking like he’s struggling to suppress a fit of giggles.

“We have all time in the world” Mabel finishes Dipper’s sentence for him, and in perfect unison the twins pull out a roll of measuring tape from their pockets. Before Ford has even a moment to wonder what they could mean, they each pull on their tape, high five each other, and disappear into thin air.

Ford stumbles to his feet, nearly knocking his chair to the ground. Between one blink and the next the kids reappear, both of them wearing period piece costumes. The measuring tapes in their hand crackle with blue lightning.

Ford gasps. “Time tapes! Of course!” He approaches the twins in the doorway. “How did you two get ahold of these?”

“Let’s just say we have an inside to these sorts of things” Mabel replies, kicking her costume off and placing her time tape back into her sweater pocket.

“So what do you say?” Dipper steps forward. “Do you want to come with us on a road trip? We can literally go whenever we want”

“You mean when--” Mabel pauses, backtracking. “Oh, wait, you did say that”

“So what do you say, Grunkle Ford? One more adventure for the road?”

Ford’s chest fills with warmth. He’d love to; he really would, but…

“What about Stan?”

“Y’gotta give me some credit, poindexter” Stan’s voice rings from behind the corner. If Ford had to guess, it’s probably because he was waiting for his response. “Someone’s gotta tag along to babysit you three”

Ford wants to glare at his brother at the insult, but his excitement overtakes it and a grin spreads to his face instead.

“Let’s go,” he says, with all the wonder in his tone that he’d been missing for years.

Dipper and Mabel exchange nods, and take each other’s hands. With their free hands, they stretch their measuring tapes out the same length.  Stan grabs on to Mabel’s shoulder, and after he and Dipper share a silent, knowing glance, Ford places his hand on Dipper’s shoulder.

Dipper and Mabel release their tape in unison, and a large flash of white light overwhelms Ford’s vision. When it finally fades, the four of them are still standing exactly where they’d been a moment ago, the only indication that anything changed being the sparks of blue lightning crackling from their clothes.

Dipper’s the first to step away from the huddle. “See?” He gestures at Ford’s wall calendar, which now displays June instead of August. “It’s practically the beginning of the summer all over again!”

Mabel breaks away to stand beside Dipper. “Now we can go anywhere we want! We could go to Portland, or Vegas, or the lost city of Atlantis, or anywhere in the world, because this bad boy prevents us from missing our bus ride home for as long as we want!”

Stan chuckles, shaking his head. “Not so fast, Mabel. I love the enthusiasm, but I’m not sure my old RV can handle driving into the ocean. Not unless Brainiac over here is willing to do some modifications on it” Stan throws an arm around Ford’s shoulder, squeezing it tightly. “Besides, I’ve already got a plan!” Stan’s gaze shifts to Ford, and the grin on his face could split it in two. “If you think my attractions look fake, just wait ‘til you see how bad my competitors look compared to me!”

“I dunno,” Dipper frowns, scratching at his chin. “Don’t you think going back to the place where you were almost eaten by a giant spider lady is a bad idea?”

“Hey, time travel rules mean that I never met her in the first place, right?” Stan crosses his arms. “Besides, it’s not like I’m gonna fall for her tricks all over again just because she offers me discounted tickets, or something”

Dipper and Mabel exchange worried glances.

“Mmm, okay,” Dipper says. “But we’re keeping an eye on you”

“That’s the spirit!” Stan exclaims, and slaps Ford on the back as he backs out of the room. “I’m gonna go pack. I doubt you have anything to pack, Sixer, but we’re reconvening in the gift shop in an hour. Go…take a shower or something. I don’t wanna spend next twelve hours driving with someone smelling like that.”

Ford glares at him, but before he has time to respond Stan’s already gone. The kids must’ve slipped out close on Stan’s heels, because when Ford turns he’s alone in his room. Rolling his eyes, he walks to his couch and kneels on the ground, reaching underneath for his emergency exploration pack. It’s a backpack torn and worn from age, and comes already packed with water bottles, nutrient bars, sunscreen, and just about every brand of monster repellent known to mankind.

A nostalgic sort of smile threatens to tug at his lips. He hasn’t seen this bag since his early research days with Fiddleford. He slings it over his shoulders, and pats at his trench coat pocket to make sure his journal is still safely tucked inside. He doesn’t necessarily plan on making any more additions, but he supposes that old habits die hard.

~~

It’s a very bulky RV, much bigger than Ford was expecting. He’d assumed that Stan calling it an RV was just an exaggeration, and that the four of them would just be piling into the Stanleymobile as they tugged some tiny trailer along that they would only would only step foot in for sleeping. But as Ford approaches, he can see Dipper and Mabel chatting at a small table through the window, and Stan rummaging through a cupboard above them, and it looks as though there’s still plenty of room to walk between them.

Mabel taps on Dipper’s shoulder, points in Ford’s direction, and both of them wave frantically out the window at him.

“Took you long enough,” Stan suddenly appears in the doorway of the camper. “Now get in. The last thing we need is to run into the past versions of those two and get bombarded with questions” He gestures with his thumb towards Dipper. “Especially him.  He sees that journal sticking out of your pocket and we’re done for”

Ford chuckles. “I can only imagine,” he says, and climbs aboard behind Stan. He’s about to take the passenger side seat besides Stan when the kids frantically wave him over.

“Grunkle Ford, over here!” Mabel beams, and hops down from her seat across from Dipper. “Come sit with us!”

“This is a road trip about spending more time with you, after all” Dipper nods. “What good will it do for us if you’re sitting way up front with Stan?”

“Yeah! No good interrogation ever happens from across the room!” Mabel exclaims.

Ford raises an eyebrow, but smiles at the pair as he takes a seat across from them. “Interrogation?”

“Yep!” Dipper grins. “We already know all of the heroic scientist stuff about you…”

“But we want to know the fun Grunkle stuff about you!” Mabel finishes his sentence for him. “You favorite ice cream flavor, your first kiss, the most illegal thing you’ve ever gotten away with…you know, just the basics!”

Ford blushes. “Well, I don’t know about that…”

“Aww, I’m sure it’s not that bad! Dipper’s first kiss was with a merman he had to give reverse CPR to!”

“Mabel!”  Dipper squeaks, his whole a dark shade of red. “That’s not fair! You know I didn’t have a choice!”

Ford can’t help the fond smile that spreads to his face. It’s moments like these that he’s going to miss the most. Sure, he’ll have anomalies, and treasure, and the whole world to explore, but he just knows that none of that is ever going to compare to time alone with the kids.

Once Stan gets the RV up and running, Ford knows there’s no going back. He and the kids swap childhood stories for hours, only pausing when Stan pulls off the side of the road to fuel up on gas and snacks. Dipper tells him of the time him and Mabel shaved their heads after a bully stuck gum in Mabel’s hair on photo day, and Ford tells them of the time that he and Stan swapped clothes on photo day just to see if they could get away with it. (They could, and Ford still has the yearbook where their photos are mislabeled as each other hidden away in his study to this day).

It’s eye opening, honestly. The young twins really are a mirror image to himself and Stan when they were kids.

“We’re here!” Stan grins, screeching the RV to a sudden halt. Upon looking out the window, the only thing Ford can see is a gift shop about the size of an outhouse and a ball of yarn about three sizes bigger than the RV.  Stan stands from the driver’s seat, stretching. “You think I overcharge for my tours, Sixer? This woman charges double the price of my admission just to take a picture of this fuzz ball” He reaches underneath the driver’s seat, pulling out a large hook attached to a thick rope. “We’re only doing her a favor by stealing it! Starting from scratch with a new attraction could do her some good”

“Hmm, I dunno” Dipper shrugs. “Don’t you think that doing the exact same prank on all of your competitors in the exact same order is just gonna result in them, I dunno, pranking you again in the exact same way?”

“Nonsense!” Stan brings his hand to his chest like Dipper had offended him. “The only reason they got away with it last time is because we left poindexter here home alone in the basement. There’ll be dozens of tour groups coming through the shack today with my past self taking care of the place for me.”  He taps at his forehead. “Besides, wasn’t this whole road trip your idea in the first place?” He smirks. “Are you telling me that your own idea is dumb?”

Dipper opens his mouth to argue back, realizes he has nothing, and pouts grumpily as he hops out of the RV. Stan cackles, and hops out of the RV after him. Ford rolls his eyes, and hops out after them to take a look at his surroundings. Stan really wasn’t kidding; everything really is contained to the one parking lot with nothing to show for it but the giant ball of yarn and a converted outhouse with tie-dye tee shirts hanging from its roof.

“Don’t just stand there gawking at it!” Stan slaps him on the shoulder, grinning. “Either help the kids out or talk the old woman’s ear off long enough to distract her” he gestures with a thumb towards Dipper and Mabel, giggling and poking at each other as they tie the rope end of the hook to the RV. As Mabel walks to attach the hook to the large yarn ball, she notices Ford watching her and waves hello.

“Hey Grunkle Ford!” she shouts. “If there’s enough left over from this mound after we drag it home, I’ll knit you a sweater with it!”

Ford laughs as he approaches to help her. “I’m counting on it.”

As it turns out, she wasn’t joking. As soon as they’ve all piled back into the RV to head to the next tourist trapped, Mabel already has her sewing needles in hand and a tangled ball of multicolored yarn sitting on the table in front of her. It’s amazing watching her work, clicking the needles together so quickly yet delicately, not missing a single fold. Ford’s never seen someone pour so much love into something so particular since the early days of his research.

Ford doesn’t want to interrupt her focus, so he turns to Dipper instead.

“How long has she been able to do that?”

Dipper glances at his sister beside him. “Oh, you mean sewing? Our grandma from our mom’s side of the family taught her when she was about six.” He rolls his eyes. “Our parents tried to buy her an electronic sewing machine for our eighth birthday, but she flat out rejected it because she insisted there wouldn’t be enough love in her creations if she didn’t make them by hand”

“It’s true!” Mabel exclaims, not looking up from her sewing job. “I’m not gonna sit around and let some machine do all the work for me! How are my friends and family supposed to know I made them their sweaters with love if I didn’t sew my blood and sweat into the threads myself?”

Ford hopes she’s being metaphorical, but the sentiment is still there. “So you’re telling me that every sweater you’ve worn this summer is homemade?”

“Yep!” she beams. “All the way down to the embroidery.” She holds up the skeleton of the sweater she’s working on into the light. “You’re real lucky, Grunkle Ford. This’ll be my first sweater I’ve ever made out of stolen materials!”

Her use of the term first rather than only makes Ford laugh.  The more time he spends with them, the less he wants to say goodbye to them. Stan must be the bravest man alive, being willing to send these kids home after three months with them, because if it were up to him he’d already be signing adoption papers to make them legally his.

“Stop two!” Stan yells from the front of the RV, and hops out as soon as they’re parked. Mabel places her work gently on the table, and follows Stan out without any effort. Dipper, on the other hand, takes one look out the window at where they’ve stopped and pales.

“Oh no”

Ford follows his gaze. It’s just a single story home turned on its head, absolutely nothing about it giving Ford the impression that there’s anything scary about it.

“What’s wrong?” Ford asks. “Do you get motion sickness? I learned quite a few tricks on how to deal with just the thing in the Spinning Top Dimension! You’re going to need a few things first, but I’m sure we’ll be able to find them around here somewhere-”

“N-no, it’s not that” Dipper cuts him off, face turning a dark shade of red. “The last time we were here I tried asking Grunkle Stan if he had any advice on how to talk to girls. And there was this one really cute girl, and we hit it off, but…” he rubs at his arm. “I acted like a total jerk. I treated her like she was just a number and I feel awful about it”

Ford frowns, getting down on one knee. “You’re not worried you’re going to run into her again, are you? This time loop should be stable enough to prevent her from showing up early”

Dipper’s gaze falls to the floor. “No, it’s more like…I’m so afraid of being myself that I feel like the only way I can fit in is to act like something I’m not. I just wish I could figure out a way to talk to girls without forcing myself to act like I’m better than them or something”

Ford smiles. “Dipper, I may not have any sound advice when it comes to girls,  but I’ve only known you for a number of weeks, and I think anyone would be lucky to have you. You’re kind and caring and so brilliant for your age” Dipper opens his mouth to protest, but Ford shakes his head. “Some of the most brilliant minds in the world suffered from anxiety and depression, my boy, and look where they are now. I have the upmost confidence that the same thing is bound to happen to you”.

Dipper’s eyes are big and wide, like he’s about to cry, but the waterworks never come. Dipper throws his arms around Ford’s neck in a hug, and Ford hugs him back. Once they pull away, they hop out of the van to join Stan and Mabel outside to prevent Stan from coming back in to yell at them. This stop is a bit less complicated, just a simple walkthrough to make sure there isn’t a hoard of tourists inside before running back out to tip the whole house right side up. It’s a lot of laughing from Stan and sprinting back to the van, and once they’re out of the parking lot and back on the highway it’s as if they never stopped at all. Mabel gets right back to working on her sweater, and Dipper gets right back to chatting up Ford for life stories.

A good portion of their stops go equally as smooth. The kids convince Ford to go on the log flume at Log Land with them which he absolutely does not throw up on, thank you very much, and Mabel nearly gets lost in a corn maze, but otherwise there’s nothing much of interest. Ford’s starting to suspect that Stan must be right, that the Mystery Shack really is the most interesting tourist trap in the entire state, until a giant mountain looms over the horizon.

“There she is,” Stan says, as if he could read his brother’s thoughts. “Her first year of opening I lost over half my usual revenue and I’ve sworn revenge on her ever since” He balls his hand into a fist and smacks the top of the steering wheel. “Our biggest mistake last time was getting too attached. I say this time we run in, grab as many mummies as we can get our hands on, and book it back to the shack before Darlene notices.”

“Don’t you mean that was your biggest mistake?” Dipper quips. “Besides, didn’t we find out last time that those mummies are real dead bodies?” He shivers. “I’m not sure how comfortable I’d feel about stealing them”

From the rearview mirror, Stan raises an eyebrow at Dipper. “What, you afraid their souls are gonna follow us home and haunt us? Work on your moral compass later, kid, this is about revenge” He adjusts the mirror. “Besides! What’s the chance we rescue someone who isn’t dead yet, just slowly suffocating in that nasty tasting web?”

Dipper opens his mouth to say one thing, pauses, and starts again. “Grunkle Stan, are you telling me you tried to eat the web you were trapped in?”

Stan shrugs. “Hey, I’m no stranger to chewing my way out of things. I’m just lucky I didn’t break any teeth on it, like I did with that car trunk”

As if that doesn’t raise more questions than it does answers, Stan drops the conversation entirely and doesn’t say another word until the RV pulls into the parking lot. Ford can’t even see the mountain peak when he hops out, it’s so obscured by fog that he knows wasn’t there ten minutes ago. Fog is the number one trap produced by anomalies to hunt their pray, so it’s no wonder this place gives Stan the creeps. Ford can’t even begin to imagine the size of the spider monsters the others described to him.

A shriek nearly escapes him at the feeling of something spindly crawling up his arm, but when he whips around he sees it’s just Stan running his fingers along his shoulder in a quick, scattered pattern. When he catches Ford’s eyes, he laughs so hard that tears pour down his cheeks.

“You should’ve seen the look on your face!” Stan wheezes. “You were all oh no, mister spider half the size of my hand, don’t eat me!” he cackles, wiping at his eyes with his wrist. “C’mon, time is money, and we don’t have any to waste” he gestures to the kids, already waiting at the information booth. “If we don’t hurry the kids are gonna get on the sky tram without us”

Ford raises an eyebrow. “You? On a sky tram?”

“Dipper didn’t tell you?” Stan’s raised eyebrow matches Ford’s. “Mabel helped me conquer my fear of heights! Now I’m untouchable!”

Seventeen years of the boardwalk and all the cotton candy as bribe in the world couldn’t fix Stan’s fear of heights. Dipper and Mabel really do continue to amaze him the more Stan tells him about them.

“Right,” Ford shakes his head, smiling fondly. “Of course.”

~~

It’s really no wonder this place boasts having the world’s slowest sky tram, because if it weren’t for the moving tree line Ford would almost think they weren’t moving at all. The bored expression on everyone else’s faces, a massive shift from the mischievous grins they’d been wearing before they got on has Ford choking down laughter. It’s about five minutes before there’s any sight of anything but tree bark, and the sun beaming directly into the glass car makes the whole thing feel like a sauna.

Still, it’s a dramatic shift in pace, and not one that Ford rejects. It’s really forcing him to slow down and think about his own feelings for once, a privilege he hasn’t had since he was in high school. Maybe it’s a little selfish of him to cherish the times he just gets to lose himself in his own head, rather than to spend so much of his time calculating plans to rescue others from danger, but-

“Whaddya think, poindexter?” Stan’s voice suddenly breaks through Ford’s thoughts, startling him.

Ford blushes. “What do I think of what?”

“The new plan!” Stan gestures to Dipper with his thumb. “Since this buzzkill is so against stealing ‘real dead bodies’,” he emphasizes with air quotes, “and since we probably couldn’t shove them all in this car anyway, we’re gonna go ahead with Plan B instead; Burning down Widow’s Peak!” Stan throws his hands in the air dramatically.

Dipper beams. “That way, they can’t make any more mummies for their mummy museum, and we might be able to save a few people from suffocating to death!” Stan and Dipper high five.

“It’s a brilliant plan, but…” Ford taps at his chin. “Where do you suppose we’re going to find the fire to burn it down?”

Stan cocks an eyebrow at him. “You tell me, mister ‘setting my face on fire is faster than shaving’. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had a lighter in your pocket right now. They have a bunch of prop torches in the caves, but if we pop the lightbulbs out of them and light them they should work good as usual” Stan’s mischievous grin is back on his face, a perfect reflection of when he was thirteen and pickpocketing a dollar from people’s wallets on the boardwalk to buy a box of saltwater taffy.

Turns out, it’s just as contagious now as it was back then. Ford reaches into the front pocket of his trench coat, and sure enough, comes up with a lighter. Stan erupts in laughter at the sight of it, and soon enough the entire car is infected with it. The rest of the ride up the mountain is much bubblier after that, with everyone swapping overdramatic stories of how the plan is going to go.

~~

Widow’s Peak is much bigger than Ford was expecting. It’s a whole cave that looks like it stretches for miles, and there really are rotting skeletons hanging upside down from the cave walls and ceilings.

Ford shudders.

“Aww, c’mon, Sixer! I know for a fact this isn’t half as bad as the stuff in your journals” Stan jabs at his shoulder with his unlit torch. “Besides, didn’t you say in your own journal that most ghosts come from their old bodies not having a proper burial? He gestures at a skeleton hanging upside down from the ceiling, its left hand barely hanging on by a thread. “You think any of these guys look like their spirits were able to move on peacefully, or however it goes?” Stan shakes his head matter of-factly. “You really want some poor unsuspecting tourist to bump into a hoard of angry ghosts? Tsk tsk”

“Alright, alright” Ford raises his hands in self-defense. “I suppose you’re right”. He takes his lighter out of his pocket and tosses it to Stan. Stan lights up his own torch, helps Dipper and Mabel with theirs, and then he turns back to help light Ford’s.

“Alright,” Stan rubs his hands together the best he can with a lit torch tucked under his arms. “Everyone knows the plan. Burn as many mummies as you can find, rescue the poor suckers who are still alive, and signal if you hear Darlene coming. Since I don’t trust Sixer over here not to try and interview her and get himself in trouble again, I say I’m in charge of lookout duty.” He adjusts his collar and flattens down the wrinkles of his suits with a quick pat down. “I flirt with her just long enough to distract her, I throw my torch in her face, and then we book it out of here as fast as our legs can carry us”

Dipper still doesn’t look convinced. “I don’t know, isn’t that exactly how you got yourself tangled up in a web last time?”

“Oh please,” Stan scoffs, waving a dismissive hand. “The only reason that worked last time is ‘cause she cornered me when we were alone. Besides, where’s she gonna take me if she catches me that you can’t just throw a torch and rescue me five minutes after it happens?”

Dipper’s face darkens. “True,” he mumbles under his breath, which makes Stan laugh. Stan slaps him on the shoulder, and Dipper glares at him, but there doesn’t seem to be any malice in it.

It’s one final glance between the four of them, and they’re all running off in different directions of the cave. It’s not long before the stench of burning silk fills the air, mixed with the stench of something Ford doesn’t want to think too much about. The webs burn relatively quickly, and together they burn through half of the cave in a much faster time than Ford would’ve expected. He’s about to light up one that looks like it was left here fairly recently, until something inside it starts wiggling.  Startled, Ford steps backwards until his back hits the cave wall, a soft oof escaping him.

“S’matter, poindexter?” Stan looks up from the fire he’s stomping out with his foot. “You see a widdle baby spider that freaked you out?”

Ford tries to glare at him, but the fear stabbing him in the chest doesn’t let it stick. He swallows hard, and points towards the wiggling cocoon with his torch.

“I think we have a live one” he whispers, stepping to stand beside Stan. Once Stan follows Ford’s torch with his eyes, something inside him tenses up.

“Ah, wh-what’d I tell you?” Stan’s voice shakes. “It’s probably just some poor sucker who fell for Darlene’s charms. Definitely not a gross sack of baby spider people or anything”

“R-right,” Ford swallows hard, and inches back towards the cocoon, rapidly waving his torch back and forth to potentially scare off whatever could be inside trying to break out.  But the longer he waves the torch in front of the web, the more he can make out the silhouette of a regular human being.

Throwing all caution to the wind, Ford rushes forward and begins tearing at the web with his bare hands, just enough so that the man is free from the chest up. He takes large gasps of air, and upon realizing that his hands are free he begins tearing at the web himself.  Once his feet are free and hit the ground, he takes one look at the Pines family, mumbles a startled thank you, and runs for his life out of the cave.

After that, the rest of the burnings go pretty smoothly. There’s significantly less living tourists in the cave than Ford would’ve expected from such a large tourist trap, and Ford’s not entirely sure whether he should find that reassuring or downright terrifying.  He’s almost surprised everything went so well, until the four of them nearly collide with a woman on their way out of the cave.

She looks just as baffled to see them as Ford feels to see her.

“Can I…help you?” She asks in a thick Jersey-esque accent. The name tag pinned to her shirt reads DARLENE in large brick letters.

“No!” Dipper cuts in before neither Ford nor Stan can respond to her. He clears his throat. “I mean, uh, no. Uh, apologies if this is a restricted area, but we got lost trying to find our way back to the sky tram” he shrugs overdramatically, no doubt in attempt to show Darlene that his hands are empty. She squints at him, and for a moment Ford could swear he just saw her blink horizontally. The silence that follows, though it probably doesn’t last for more than a few seconds, feels like it drags on for ages.

Suddenly, she’s donning an overly sweet smile. “Well, why didn’t you just say so? Let me walk you back. We’ve gotten more than our fair share of tourists who’ve gone missing from wandering too far into our caves, and I’d hate to have that happen to such a nice looking family like yours” She grins, flashing her unusually sharp teeth.  The four of them stay quiet until they’re all packed into their tram car, and Darlene is waving sweetly at them from behind.

They each collectively sigh. “Woof, that was a close one” Stan says, wiping the sweat from his forehead with his wrist. In a sudden shift of mood, he reaches over next to him and pulls Dipper into a headlock. “How’s about it for this guy’s quick thinking, huh?” he grins, and the four of them laugh until they hear a horrifying screech that makes their tram car rumble. They turn, and see Darlene emerging from the cave, the bottom half of her body replaced by that of a giant spider.

“My food!” she screams, shaking her first at the tram cars. “You burned all my food! Mark my words, I may not have gotten your names but I don’t forget faces very easily, you hear? If you ever show your face here again you’re dead meat!” She screams, yanking on her hair to reveal the rest of her spider-like body under her human disguise.

Stan simply cackles. “Yeah, we’ll see about that!” he mocks, knowing well enough that she can’t hear them from inside the car. He turns his attention back to the rest of the family. “Maybe we should go and warn our past selves to bring bug spray!” He exclaims, laughing himself to near tears.

Ford only rolls his eyes, but can’t help the smile on his face.

If only he’d known what he’d be missing when he turned down Stan’s offer to take this road trip with him and the kids the first time around.

The tram ride back to the parking lot is even more relaxing than the ride up. The sun is setting this time around, and even if the wind can’t really reach inside the car the whole thing just feels cooler. Most of all, he finds that the sound of the Stan and the kids’ laughter is far more welcome than any old conversation he could have in his own head.

When everyone piles back into the RV, they do not drive away immediately like they had at all the other stops. Instead, Stan turns around to face the three of them. “Well, that’s the end of that. That’s all I had planned, and we still have…” he pauses to count on his finger. “Two more months ‘til the kids have to go back home, technically. I’m all out of ideas, and I’m sure the kids have seen enough of the Gravity Falls weirdness for one summer”

He smiles to the kids, who nod and in turn smile at Ford.

“So where do you want to go now, Grunkle Ford?” Mabel says, with stars shining in her eyes. The grin spreading on Dipper’s face matches hers like two peas in a pod.

“Any place in the world. Wherever you want to go…” He pulls the time tape out of his pocket. “…For however long you want”