#WAUGH IT FEELS GOOD
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ender-goo · 8 months ago
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Kira has something to say.
(She was somehow unaware.)
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finished …. the fic ………….
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nyuheartbreak · 8 months ago
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hello hello!! i've been wanting to sit down and make like?? a proper humanish loop design (like put a extreme amount of thought into it) i'll ramble about my thought process undercut if anyones interested when im done concepting i'll probably use the final design for a art piece!! but for now have these
OKAY!! MY TURN TO TALK!!! (going full grammar to make it easier to read) So! First of all, these drafts are specifically meant to be a design for Loop that you would see throughout the game! I plan to make another one for post game! I feel like that period of time would matter when trying to make a Loop design, because of the emotions that Loop goes through.
But for now, I want to focus on during the game. -- So, Draft 1. I wanted it to directly mirror Siffrin's design. The sparks around their head vaguely resembling Siffrin's hat and such. The cloak also kinda being torn apart as well. I still wanted them to be different enough though! So I hope that I achieved that! To be hoenst, the hardest parts about making a Loop design is making them similar to Siffrin, but still have their own identity. For both designs I wanted to convey at least, somewhat, the element of their past identity being ripped away from them? If that makes sense, for Draft 1 there is the threads between the cloak, while for Draft 2 there is the stitching on the cloak. Also, I wanted both of the designs to cover up or at least hide some of the less, humanish, aspects of Loop. Which I think ties in with their character well! HOWEVER, unlike Draft 1. Draft 2 leans into the facade more, hell, the performance of it! If you will! Making the cloak look a bit more regal. Gave them a Phantom of the Opera mask! (I don't know what the actual term is.) Made them a bit more extra! I still wanna think about these designs much more, but I'm happy with what I have. OKAY IM DONE TALKING!!! thank you for reading (and sorry for any potential mistakes im just rambling WAHAHA)
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javierduffy · 30 days ago
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I have been having... a very bad day. Any spare fluffy headcanons for the boys? (and maybe some nsfw ones if you're up to it-)
ohh no my dear helena !!! its unfortunate that you’re having a rough day today :( remember that everything is temporary and that this day, like every other hard day before (and all following after), will pass in its own time.
i can absolutely spare some fluff ! that’s all i’ve got !
• javier goes to bed at about the same time that kieran is waking up every morning, right before dawn, and it’s a common occurrence that he will forget to untie his hair before laying down for bed, especially after a long night of guard duty. kieran will notice every time, and knows himself how easily long hair can get matted, so he will beckon javier over so that he can untie his bow. usually, he’ll also take the time to run his fingers through javier’s hair to detangle it as well, so that he’s even less likely to wake up to knots. javier adores it, teetering with the weight of his head and leaning hard into kieran’s legs on each side of his shoulders- sometimes kieran will even indulge himself in giving javier a head massage. javier never sleeps better, and coincidentally, he began forgetting to take his hair down a lot more after moving out to clemen’s point ….
• javier snuck kieran his first bowl of pearson’s stew after ‘making a social call’. john kicked kieran off his horse at the entrance of camp and javier watched as the latter dredged himself through the brush to what would become his usual resting place behind the rock by the horses. he looked miserable, dead on his feet, and javier knew by then he’d been weeks without a meal. he was a dirty, disloyal, unholy traitor of an o’driscoll, but something about his sunken eyes, the shake in his hand as he lit his first cigarette as a free man again- likely to quell off the hunger- it urged javier to act in a way that he’d never felt before. javier could kill a man in cold blood easier than he could stand to watch fear starve a man even after his hands are free to reach for the bowl. the study for learned helplessness in psychology will come years later, but javier understands himself now through watching kieran’s instinctual desire to survive be beat out of him by the gang javier dedicates his life to. with a healthy amount of spite to himself, he scoops a heaping amount of fresh stew into the cleanest bowl he can find, and sets out to add a fresh layer of flesh to kieran’s prominent bones.
• following this, cooking for kieran is one of javier’s favourite things to do when they get together. javier will cook for him traditional mexican dishes from home (as best he can. both with his limited skills and also with his limited accessibility to the proper ingredients. (probably for the best that he can’t get authentic chili peppers from home and has to use a less spicy chili native to this northern climate. kieran does okay with spice but it isn’t in his genetics to truly have a high tolerance.)) and not only will it be an unknown love language from javier, to feed kieran and make sure he is full, but it will also be a love language from kieran, to let javi share a piece of home with him.
• ^ also applies to modern au javieran ! javier loves cooking, and especially for kieran. they would cook together, but kieran struggles to cook with other people in the room, and javier gets so absorbed in it that he’d likely be running into kieran or otherwise being unhelpful in aiding in making sure the dish is being cooked correctly because he’s too Locked In to guide kieran LOL but they’re more happy to simply keep each other company, anyway. kieran on the counter/table/floor, watching javier sing and dance to the music he’s blasting from their speaker. cue dancing in the kitchen when the love songs come on (here’s a good one (rip javier escuella you would have loved dannylux)). the parallel play and quality time with these two is off the charts
• come mid/late clemens point, the way javieran make most of their money for the camp is by going on days-long fishing dates, laughing and laying close to one another in the grass under a tree on the riverbank in the shroud of darkness. they come back to camp flushed as all get out but with stacks of cash in their hands wadded up so thick no one dares to ask where it came from. kieran will get excited at even the smallest of fish, perking up and sharing/asking javier for tidbits on the species. they never miss a bite, either. one time one of the bells on their bobber rods rang once and they both broke out of a very hot and heavy make-out sesh so fast that javier tripped on kieran and nearly broke both of their wrists. they laughed so hard about it, javier was certain that by the time he arrived to his rod, the fish had already successfully ripped the bait off of his hook. he reeled in a boot, at the end of it all. he never lives it down.
• kieran is ambidextrous, and javier is fascinated by it. javier stumbled upon kieran writing on one rare occasion, and noticed immediately that he was writing with his left. “left handed, huh ?” kieran cocks his head at him in thought. javier wonders why on earth he would have to stop and think about a question like that. “uhh, not really ?” well, now javier is simply confused. “right, then ? is something wrong with your dominant hand ?” “um … no, that’s not it either …” and at this point, javier is demanding kieran explain what the hell he’s talking about, and why he’s pulling a prank on him. cue kieran explaining and javier making him do all kinds of silly “tests” like writing, shooting, playing guitar (as if kieran is going to any better with either when neither of them can do it right to begin with) because he finds it so cool.
• modern au kieran gets overstimulated incredibly easily, so he’s got a pair of noise canceling over-ear headphones that he often wears to dampen sensory input and ground himself when there’s a lot going on. when it’s cleaning day, generally no matter what he’s doing, he HAS to wear his headphones. javier is left to dodge him the same way he has to dodge the cats when they’re weaving in and out of between his feet. it also leaves him to dance to his own tunes when kieran suddenly swoops or sways or dips him to the music only he can hear- though just as often, javier will catch kieran dancing by himself and he will simply be unable not to join him, even though he can’t hear what it is he’s dancing to. as overwhelming as they can be, cleaning days for javieran somehow always end up feeling more like a date than anything.
• on a similar note, kieran also wears his headphones to bed, and listens to asmr/white noise to sleep. the pressure helps him feel safe, and the silence of a room makes him anxious. he also has a terrible bedhead and rbf in the morning. both of these things javier finds incredibly charming, and if he ever does wake up when/before kieran does (incredibly rare), this is his pov (right before he tries to kiss kieran’s face off and gets shoved away with a sleepy giggle that only bolsters his aggression);
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nsfw under the cut !
and how could i resist a chance to finally talk about this ;3€ ?? i’ll try to keep them fluffy !
(context, i hc both of them as tguys usually (though im content with writing javier as amab too), with both of them being absolute, unabashed switches. they have little preferences anywhere in terms of bottoming/topping, though kieran has a preference for subbing, and javier has no qualms with domming more frequently.)
• as much raunchy, animalistic sex that javieran have, they have double as much slow, loving, tender sex. and most times between, they’re having raunchy, loving, animalistic sex.
• javi loves to turn kieran’s brain off, he loves more than anything to make kieran feel so overwhelmingly pleasured that he forgets everything that ever has, ever could, or ever will happen to him. nothing gets javier off quite like seeing the face of bliss kieran makes when all he can think about is javier’s mouth/hands/cock working overtime just to make him feel good.
• both of them i think are quite vocal when they’re able to be, and kieran tends to be vocal whether he’s supposed to be or not. both of them often dissolve into whimpers and “i love you”s and praise like “you feel/sound/taste so good” by the end. their love for each other has a carnal grasp on every aspect of their sex lives as well <3 so they’re always speaking so sweetly to each other, even if the way they growl it seems violent
• javier LOVES love bites. he loves to mark kieran up and he especially loves to bite and lick and suck on his neck, not only because of the primal aspect of his jugular being so close (as well as the warmth of his pulse thrumming against his mouth), but also because it arouses kieran to the point of making him shiver nearly every time. javier has permission to bite him hard, but it’s pretty rare that he ever does, and it’s only late into their relationship does javier feel like it will be more pleasure for him than it would just be pain. sometimes he can’t help it though, he’ll get so worked up that he just latches on and the way that kieran tightens around him is mind-numbing.
• unironically i think kieran is a GREAT soft dom, and that is something that javier generally had never experienced prior to getting with kieran. javi thinks it’s hot to be man-handled and roughed up, and kieran can do his very best (despite the constant guilt and fear) if javier is really feeling it, but where he really excels is soft domming. once the nerves melt off, he’s so gentle with javier that it makes the latter’s skin hot all over. constantly praising him, cooing at him, asking him nicely, rewarding him for good behavior, all the while touching him oh-so-gently, it all makes javier feel so awkward but so, so good. kieran makes him feel so loved and worshipped that the world in which he has anything to question simply just fades away, and all he has to think about is doing what meager tasks kieran asks of him.
• they find so much peace in each other’s bodies. in every rib and wrinkle and sunspot, these two will spend hours simply exploring and enjoying the body of the other in whatever the closest form of “privacy” they can manage to acquire. turns out, kieran has sunspots all over him. turns out, javier has a keloid scar on the back of his bicep. turns out, kieran has a mole on his scalp right where his part is (this is canon btw i saw it once when i was studying him in photo mode like a specimen in a petri dish), and javier has back dimples, and kieran’s ribs stutter and dance beautifully when he laughs, and the flex of javier’s thighs warps his skin like a marble statue. javier escuella and kieran duffy love like artists, and they spend hours just learning and looking and studying each other, like a painter with his muse, like a writer with his words, like the last things they want to see while they’re dying are all the hours they spent learning the beauty of the other.
i could honestly come up with more but it would never leave my drafts, so i hope u like these that i came up with as quick as i could :’) ! i hope you’re feeling better and have gotten some good rest !! thank you for the ask !!!!!
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obeetlebeetle · 1 month ago
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not bitter at all abt this but i did just go thru the information for the project i just wrapped up and i had over twice the workload of everyone else working on it : )
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kuruk · 4 months ago
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eeeeek I found a new lump on my neck and it's so high up is that even a lymph node. imgonna throw up crying crying. I wush I had a girlfriend I could send these b**b pictures to so she could tell me if she's getting a cancerous vibe from them or not
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brown-little-robin · 7 months ago
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yeag
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skitskatdacat63 · 10 months ago
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Can someone assure me it's okay that I haven't finished any drawings in over a week 😭😭
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daftpatience · 1 year ago
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speakin of things i wish i could afford. i feel shy anytime i gotta talk about this stuff but i might as well mention it. vi and i have been trying all year to scrape up enough to pay our property taxes and other bills to little avail. it's all compounding interest (bad) but there aren't really immediately looming deadlines (small relief) so most of the time other expenses take priority.
im still working on being profitable enough on my own for us to get by, so if you wanna help us out at all! check out my shop, if you're able to and want to do a lil kofi or paypal donation it's hugely appreciated ♥ i'm not opening emergency commissions this time as i still have a big queue going and i can't make more people wait ;w; ty for reading i love you guys
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visceral--feeling · 2 years ago
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Moonrise - Frederick Judd Waugh // Carry On - 5 Seconds of Summer
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icewindandboringhorror · 28 days ago
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Recent misc pictures
#image 1 - sky of course.. beautiful clouds time. Image 2 - steak and scrambled eggs with a mushroom spinach sautee sort of thing#and an apple fritter (all cooked at home of course except for the apple fritter... still wishing I could ever get food out or have it made#for me so I don't have to do the effort of making it all myself.. it just tastes better sometimes when you're in a relaxed state eating#it rather than a 'just stood in the kitchen for 1hr' state lol). Image 3 - nice gray clouds with the sun through them.#Image 4 - 4 tiny gyoza type things with a tiny Diet Restriction Friendly size portion of iced coffee and a starshaped ice cube#Images 5 - 7 - these interesting flowers I came across whilst walking on a trail. I think the way they grow is cool. And that the buds of#them are so fluffy and such. Image 8 - 9 -- more stinky word counts... aughhh...... Trying to plan a full timeline of when#I might actually finish the game and I'm estimating currently like July 2025 as an insanely optimistic ideal and October 2025 as my very#late one. So likely somewhere in between. Or even later if something happens as things tend to do (computer explodes. etc)#Both are HOT months for oregon so I guess that's what started me off thinking and dwelling on the passage of time and the weather.. grrr#I wish I could be done with it tomorrow or something and then just relax and play sims all winter knowing my work is done lol#But I feel like the impending summer (as well as many other impending societally threatening things) give me too much urgency to be like#WAUGh i need to get this done NOWWW.. But I still wish I could relax and enjoy the winter a litttle. eugh... ANYWAY. I did finish the#discord for the game but I still don't know if I'll use that. I need to work more on the game itself and the itch.io page. But then also#I should probably talk about it or try to cultivate a small base of people (like a discord) who actually care about it and could become#future playtesters so I have that all ready well before the game actually is done so I needn't scramble at the last minute.. If I were#smart. and had social skills. and had energy (< has none of these things). So inevitably who knows if shall be able to muster any such feat#At least I'm getting like.. some words done.. some days. I am making progress. It's just never good enough considering the circumstances#(< looming instability and time passing in what feels like a very fast manner). ANYWAY.. lol... Image 10 - recent game of Price#Is Right Plinko Pegs my beloved game which I return to to play like maybe 2 rounds of once every 5 months... one day I shall win... Though#I'm incresingly uncertain if there even IS a last level. Or if its designed to go on forever/make you fail at a point to keep you playing..#Last two images - CLOUDS again. A very cloud heavy photo diary this time it seems lol#Also trying to: - post a few more costumes from drafts. - make new friend survey thing. - edit videos - make a sculpture. - set up#things to actually sell sculptures. - doctors appointments. - pack up things to possibly move before the summer to an apartment which#will still not have central AC but maybe at least is not west facing (so gets direct sun hottest part of the day and is a greenhouse)#Life is a constant revolving to do list with occasional sleep & looking at clouds in between.. (sigh)(pauses)(slightly more whimsical sigh)#photo diary
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dandyshucks · 7 months ago
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logging in solely over here for a little while methinks, bc goodness gracious i stepped into some shit on my main account 😭 i an going to let my avoidance win just this once bc I don't want to have more anxiety to deal with on top of the usual stuff fjdkdl, i can avoid that anxiety by not logging into my main account for a while... this may backfire on me if the anxiety festers instead of fades though LOL
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suddenrundown · 1 month ago
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i need to live in a musical
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unexpectedbrickattack · 2 years ago
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IN REFERENCE TO YOUR VIGILANTE POST TAGS. "CATTY OLD MEN GOSSIPPING". DO YOU REALISE THE BOX OF PANDORA YOU JUST OPENED TO MY MIND. THAT IS AMAZING.
Heehee ☺️
I have no idea if theres like a term for this, but like, where i used to live (bronx projects babeyyyy) you would have lots of old ladies and men sitting outside their apartment complexes, talking for HOURS on end. And in front of some shopping areas underneath trees it was SPECIFICALLY old men in like their 70s just kinda vibin in the shade and talking to each other. My dad called them pigeons bc there were so many of them and they chatted (cooed) at each other for hours n hours. Which i thought was cute (i love pigeons rhfjfbdjdbd) and the men were very nice to me; very old cuban and puerto rican men who asked how my day was and asked if i wanted to play dominos or checkers w them. (There was a group of older black men that would play old 80s hits and play chess too ☺️)
ANYWAY i am saying this bc when i think of catty old men, i think of that group of men i saw almost everyday for 20+ years of my life 😭 they could be SO mean and with the little bit of spanish i did know, i could hear them talking shit about people on the block😭 but they were very nice to most people, u literally just had to say hi and they would smile super wide
Peppino clocks out and hes like “i got plans today, sorry.” And its him going to the saloon in the desert to go get drinks with vigilante and like Other Old Cheeses or something, like thats his idea of a good time; talking shit about people he doesnt like with OTHER people who are eager to hear him shittalk (and vice versa) 😭 he doesnt get shitfaced, hes just there to relax and listen to Vigilante get in a tizzy about some bounties givin him a hassle. And sometimes Vigilante comes along with his group of friends to the Pizzeria instead and they all settle down after hours and drink 😊
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cerbreus · 2 months ago
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the holiday malaise is getting to me a little bit
#despite my efforts#last year i was happy and i had a boyfriend i loved to bits and i was looking forward to the future and happy with where my career was goin#i had little things to look forward to on holidays for the first time ever and big things to look forward to in the following year#generally a lot more hope and happiness and looking forward to things after many many years of working hard at getting to that place#this year im..... just trying to keep myself busy and distracted#i don't have someone to celebrate big and little things with anymore or events in the year#things are still incredibly caustic with my dad so i can't spend the holiday with family (same as it's been since i moved out)#i don't know what next year is going to be like for me much less my future in general#trying to have hope and make it what i want it to be but i'm still struggling to find a trail that feels passable#also really feeling more and more like i'm just a passing single note in the symphony of other people's lives and not in a good way#ah well#gotta keep trying#a life and future i'll be content and happy with will come to me.... just... a matter of when#i hope it's easier to be optimistic next year and every year that follows#it really doesn't help that politics are so fucking dire here though#personal stuff#waugh sorry to be a downer#holidays are back to being miserable times of the year for me#events and holidays always bring out the malaise ™ in me fr#i'm doing fine being single again i don't feel like i'll never love again or something (impossible for me- i'm a lover after all)#just been a lot of change all at once and a lot of really bad luck all at once and other realities settling in (my age) (my unemployability#a lot to grapple with#i wish i could just live in the woods and spend my days baking and rockhounding/mudlarking and foraging
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touteytout · 1 year ago
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i bought a monster high doll on ebay and i wanna try turning her into my oc uriyah.... fingies crossed itll turn out alright ive been wanting to get into doll customization for like 4 years now...
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