#WASP NEST HAS BEEN HIT

[curiositypolling]

You people know that people who aren't racially white or Caucasian have lighter skin, right?

did I ever say the poll was about race? it literally just says 'what is ur skin color' the comment of 'these results are uh... hm.' was mostly a joke about what the obvious conclusion is, even though that conclusion is wrong for so many reasons from sample size to sample bias to ethnicity not equaling skin color, as well as the fact that it implies tumblr users are shut-ins, regardless of race

but also I was making a joke on tumblr so I probably should have realized I should not do that lol

[cyber-neptune]

Imma be honest with everyone, I never understood really what the “Be normal about the robots” mean. Like I get there a lot of weirdos out there but sometimes there’s people who just wanna make their funky little AUs and art and then get labeled as “freaks” or “weirdos” when we all know damn well there’s way worse out there.

Maybe I’m just not understanding so feel free to clarify/explain in the notes your pov on this.

[revelboo]

OUGH your Waspinator fic is sooooooo everything. I like him a lot- he's not one of my mainstays, but ever since seeing TFA as a kid I've always felt a little protective of him. He needs more nice things

I’m sorry, but not sorry at all. He’s puppy. An ugly, puppy that’s going to chew up everything in the house, but still 🤣

Worker Bee Pt 2

IDW Waspinator x Reader

• It’s the sound of something breaking downstairs that drags you out of sleep, squinting in the dark and trying to decide if the noise has been inside the house or outside. There’s another crash with the sound of breaking glass and an odd scraping. Breath hitching, you lunge for your phone and turn on its light, swinging it and yanking the chord out of the wall and nearly screaming. Because there are glowing purple optics staring back at you. “Waspinator?” How had he gotten into the house? You’d left him out in the barn and locked the door behind you when you went in. But he’s different now, looking like a giant wasp to slip ice into your veins.

• “Lonely.” You’re just staring at him, but not yelling at him to go away. Not hitting him or throwing things. So it’s okay? It must be okay. Small, new friend likes Waspinator. Your nest is soft and it creaks under him when he climbs up with you. He’d mass shifted and transformed to get through the door of your dwelling and to maneuver the narrow hall. And you make a funny noise when something cracks and your nest crashes down with him and you both. Antenna flattening back he waits for the anger, but you just stare at him mouth hanging open. Not hitting him or yelling at all.

• Frozen, you stare at the giant, alien wasp that just broke your bed frame. Because he got lonely. And making a happy, humming noise, he just flops down. On you. Head on your chest knocking the air out of your lungs and you flat back on the bed as he throws an insectile leg across your hips. There’s no going back to sleep with him pinning you, mandibles way too close to your face and he’s making a faint buzzing hum. And you desperately want to shove him away from you, but your heart is racing like a mad thing. Because in this form? You’re suddenly realizing you’re scared to death of wasps. Giant wasps specifically. “Little friend?” He asks, purple optics glowing and too close as his antenna swing forward to brush your hair. Cringing, you just nod, because you can’t argue with him when those sharp mandibles are right there.

• “Yeah, sure. Friends,” you tell him, head turning away from his exploration with his antenna. Not angry with him. Even reaching to pat him so gently on the head with a soft hand. Accepting him. Relaxing against your warmth, he tries to figure out if anyone has ever touched him gently before. Everyone always pushes him away, hurts him, but his little soft friend likes him. No one’s ever liked Waspinator.

• Trapped under him, you stare at the shadowy ceiling as your heart beat slows to normal because he’s not doing anything but making it hard to breathe with his weight sprawled across you. He’s not trying to tear you apart with those awful mandibles, just cuddling against you like a big puppy. A terrifyingly ugly, alien puppy. He’d said he was lonely then asked if you were his friend. Staying on his good side definitely sounds like a plan and besides, that little ‘lonely,’ had sounded so broken.

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[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU part 43

part 1 | part 42 | ao3

cw: references to sex, post-coital sad boy feelings but it’s comforting i hope, once again swirling the religious drain

“You look like you just saw God,” Eddie says fondly as he pulls his fingers out.

“Pretty sure I am God,” Steve mumbles, winded and floating, watching the stars in his vision skitter across the ceiling in pretty popping swirls of white. His ass still feels full, phantom ache of Eddie's fingers. They live there now. “Or maybe you are, I don’t know.”

Eddie leans down to plant a firm kiss on his lips, sure and steady, overflowing with affection.

Steve’s heart is gonna pump so hard it bursts.

“Well,” Eddie murmurs into the kiss. “Amen to that.”

Later, after Eddie adds his own mess to Steve's skin, after he kisses him all over and cleans him up and lays them down on their sides, face to face like they were that first night — in the morning; if you still mean it, ask me then — Steve dares to break the silence. Murmurs "hey" so quietly he's not sure Eddie will hear.

"Hmm?" Eddie props his head up on his hand, giving Steve the full attention of those big, dark eyes.

"I, uh, I just wanted to say thanks."

Eddie's brows waggle suggestively.

“Oh, my god.” Steve gives him a weak shove, tapping lightly at his shoulder, and Eddie flops onto his back like he's been struck; groans like he’s dying and then rolls back up with a gentle laugh. “Well,” Steve rolls his eyes like he isn't smiling, too, "for that, too, I guess."

"He guesses.”

"Shut up. I'm trying to be sincere."

Eddie twists an invisible lock; seals his smiling lips shut and throws away the key.

"I just..."

He can do this.

He can. If Eddie hasn't judged him yet, then...

"I like that you. Y'know. You ask me. About stuff." Eddie hums in question, so Steve clarifies: "You pry." Shit. That was rude. "Not that it's prying if I want you to! That's not— that's not even really the word I'm thinking of. Or maybe it is, but, like, not the right conno- commo—"

Jesus.

Why can't his mouth ever just cooperate?

Eddie strokes a soothing hand down his side, letting it settle in the dip of his waist. Silent, steady encouragement. Patient and warm; always so gentle with him.

When Steve speaks again he stares directly at Eddie's chin, lets the words spill out on a muted mumble, like if he says them low and soft and fast enough then maybe god won't hear. "I just mean that you- you actually listen. I know I'm not the most, like, open about talking about my feelings and shit, but most people in my life are— well, I mean, most of them are kids, so that's probably part of it, but…”

He takes a deep breath; feels it rattle behind his ribs. “It’s like I say 'I'm fine' and they hear 'Steve's fine.' Like, 'Oh, Steve? Yeah, he's fine; he's totally fine. He got hit in the head again, but he's fucking fine.'"

There’s salt in his throat.

He swallows around the angry lump swelling there — a wasp nest in his soft tissues and he's swinging blindly with a bat — but he can’t stop now, the confession already pouring from between his trembling lips. "It just makes me wonder, like, am I that good of an actor? Or do they all just hear what the want to hear? You know? Like- like maybe I'm not worth the effort; maybe no one wants to lift the lid to clean the mold growing under it, or..."

He sniffs pitifully, can hardly see for the fresh tears. "I don't know. I don’t know."

“Baby.” Eddie's eyes are heartbreaking; Steve looks away again.

"I just like that you see me,” he confesses to Eddie’s shirt. “You listen. You care."

Eddie’s arms tighten around him; draw him in against his chest. “For as long as you want me to, baby, I swear.”

—

It’s easier, after that. Feels lighter; feels right when he spends his free time at Eddie’s side, laughing and smoking and fucking around; playing passenger princess as he goes to make his deals. Take on Me’s playing on the radio, and Steve looks over and sees him subtly bobbing his head to the beat.

“A-ha!” he says, pointing a Cheeto at him in triumph. “It’s catchy; admit it.”

Eddie rolls his eyes like he isn’t actively drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. “Only because it’s designed to be, you little preppy pop prince fucker.”

“Hey!” Steve throws the Cheeto at his hair and laughs, “Fuck you!”

“Careful there, tiger,” Eddie answers with an easy grin, leaning over to squeeze Steve’s leg suggestively. Bearing down on the scratch marks he left there last night. “Might get what you ask for.”

“Oh, yeah?” Steve quips. “Gonna fuck yourself for me?”

It’s bratty. Steve knows it; resists the urge to stick out his tongue.

A muscle ticks in Eddie’s jaw. “Gonna fuckin’ fuck something,” he mutters darkly to the windshield, and Steve laughs and sings along to the next verse.

—

part 44

tag list in separate reblogs under '#trailer park steve au taglist' if you'd like to filter that content. if you want to be added please comment and let me know (must be over 21; please either verify in the comment or have your age visible on your blog)

[asbealthgn]

(the thrilling conclusion. also posted on ao3! here's some art of the kitten i did. part 1, 2, 2.5, 3)

The Corroded Coffin fan base find out about Steve entirely by accident.

It starts, of course, with the kitten. After Eddie’s had her for a few days he decides to make an official post on his Instagram, which is a big deal because he normally just lets his PR people handle posting. All he normally does is post shit to his story, but the kitten deserves more formal recognition than that.

So he picks his favorite pictures of her (his camera roll is filled to the brim at this point) and posts them with the caption meet the light of my life, Lemon Verbena Deathclaw Goblikon Munson (Lemon for short). It’s like kicking a wasp’s nest, but, like, the good version: everyone and their dog shares the post to their stories, edits set to any number of Corroded Coffin’s hit songs are spread across TikTok, coffintwt is in an uproar.

Several hours later, Eddie posts a video to his story. He films Lemon on the couch and asks her, “Miss Lemon, how does it feel to be the best, most famous cat in the world?” She responds by meowing loudly and trying to bite his camera. Steve is sitting on the couch, so part of his thighs end up in the video.

Aside from having great thighs, the odd sliver of Steve’s legs or torso or arms showing up in various photographs and videos that Eddie puts on his story over the next few days does not draw a lot of attention from the Corroded Coffin fanbase. If Eddie were to guess, he would probably say they assume it’s just Eddie or one of his bandmates. It’s not until Eddie posts a video of Lemon trying to climb onto the couch on her own and Steve’s hands make an appearance steadying her that people take notice. More specifically, the Twitter account that’s dedicated to posting close-ups of the members of Corroded Coffin’s hands posts a screenshot of the video with the caption those hands do not belong to our boys.

From there, it becomes a wild source of controversy on Twitter as coffintwt tries to figure out for sure if those hands belong to anyone in the band. There’s a lot of back and forth, but ultimately they seem to agree that the original poster is The Authority on the matter. Then it becomes a game of going back through other pictures of Lemon and trying to figure out if the guy showing up the background of so many of them is also someone outside the band. A lot of screenshots start flying around with captions like none of the corroded boys would wear yellow or the rest of the band other than eddie were in LA when this one was posted and so on and so on. 

A consensus is reached: Eddie has been spending a lot of time with someone not in the band, quite possibly a boyfriend.

On a rainy Tuesday three weeks after they met, Eddie lays back on his couch with Steve laying on his chest and Lemon laying on his chest. “They’re onto you, Stevie,” Eddie says. 

“Who’s onto me?” Steve asks, not looking away from the basketball game on the TV. He’s terminally offline and has been blissfully unaware of the saga unfolding. 

“Twitter,” Eddie explains. “My fans have noticed you in the background in a lot of pictures of Lemon and they’ve started putting the pieces together.”

Steve scratches Lemon under her chin and she purrs happily. “Why are they looking at me instead of her?”

“Hell if I know,” Eddie says, reaching around Steve to rub Lemon’s head. “It’s not like you’re super drop-dead gorgeous or anything.”

Grinning, Steve turns his head to kiss Eddie. “Thanks, baby.”

Before Steve can turn his attention back to the game, Eddie hooks his finger under his chin to keep Steve’s eyes on him. “I have a question for you,” he says, “Well, two questions.”

“What’s up?” Steve asks. 

“First, do you want to be my boyfriend?” Eddie knows that three weeks is kind of ridiculously fast, but Steve has practically moved in already, spending all his free time here and sleeping in Eddie’s bed most nights. So Eddie’s not super worried about what his answer is going to be.

Sure enough, Steve smiles. “Yeah, I do,” he says. He kisses Eddie before asking, “What’s the second question?”

“Well, since you said yes, do you mind if I post something about us to stop the speculation?”

“I don’t mind,” Steve says, “But can I tell Robin first so she finds out from me?”

Eddie nods. “Yeah, of course. Do you want to go ov—?” But oh, Steve is already pulling out his phone and calling Robin. Okay then. 

“Hey, Robbie! Just wanted to let you know that Eddie’s my boyfriend now….No, he wasn’t already….Well, we hadn’t talked about it….Okay, that’s kinda mean….No, it’s okay….Yeah, Lemon is great! Do you want to talk to her?” Steve holds the phone up to the kitten and she bites the microphone. Steve puts the phone back to his ear. “That was her….Okay, I actually have to go. I just wanted to tell you….Bye, love you!”

Steve puts his phone back in his pocket and then grins at Eddie. “Alright, I’m ready.”

“If there’s one thing about you, baby, you’re a go-getter,” Eddie says, laughing. He gets his own phone out and holds it out to take a picture of them. Lemon, who is fascinated by phones, looks up at the camera as he snaps the photo. Perfect. 

Eddie posts the picture with the caption the rumors are true, Lemon has two dads. she gets her looks from Steve’s side. Then he puts his phone down and wraps his arms back around Steve. He can worry about his fans’ reaction later. Right now, he has other plans.

“What do you say, boyfriend?” he murmurs in Steve’s ear. “Should we go put Lemon in the bathtub?”

tagging: @nburkhardt @stargyles @csinnamon-fox @manda-panda-monium @silly-jellyghoty @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @starquirk @lightwoodbanethings @dramaticwriter @adaed5 @freyaforestafay @roaringgoodshow @sherrylyn628 @stevesbipanic @stevethehairington @henderdads @artiststarme @softboisteve @gregre369 @korixae @kokoshka67 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @piningapple @iwouldsail @thesuninyaface @aftermidnightwriting @hamiltonsteele @brassreign @bitchysunflower @homosexual-having-tea @adelicioustragedy @trashpocket @dramaticwriter @eddiemunsonswife @blackpanzy @bitchysunflower @adelicioustragedy @thegingerrapunzel @overhillunderhill @beckkthewreck @glittergluekintsugi @elyondelannoy @somegirlsomewhere @pluto-pepsi @shinekocreator @goodomensgurl @savory-babby @blues-tunes @babyblender @221b1tch

(tagging is having issues so i'll tag the rest in a reply)

[caktusjuice-draws]

you have no clue how happy i am to see someone finally sees the underlying . romantic side of whatever . pokey wants with paul. like a month ago the phantom of the opera paralells hit me and ive kinda been unable to see it since .

Listen to me. We gotta ... we gotta think about the IMPLICATIONS HERE. Some of the things Pokey chooses to say to Paul/make Paul say... Yeah you don't just say those things to someone you aren't trying to put your alien brainwash good into ... as more than a eldritch wasp trying to infiltrate a bees nest friends

And listen cause my husband is big brain. Cause he pointed out...

"You have defied us thrice Paul" No ... no that isn't right, it was five times. The people on the street. Mr. Davidson. Beanies. Sam. Sam and Charlotte. THAT'S FIVE TIMES RIGHT? Unless we are talking about... failed attempts at conquering universes. If THAT has happened three times before...

Paul doesn't like musicals. You would think Pokey would hate him but what if Paul's defiance three universes over has caused Pokey to have an obsession, similar to Tinky and Ted. Pokey wants him cause he is unobtainable. Paul is, in the words of Max Jagerman, forbidden fruit.

The sweetest thing for Pokey would be to finally get Paul to sing.

IT IS ENTIRELY ONE SIDED AND I AM OKAY WITH THAT.

AND THANKS FOR THE POTO IMAGERY CAUSE IMMA HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT NOW

[jupiterswasphouse]

WASP REVIEW - CIRCUIT BEES & MASK HORNETS (LETHAL COMPANY)

[Image IDs: A 3D render of a swarm of Circuit Bees generating an intense static charge around their nest, followed by another 3D render of a swarm of Mask Hornets /End IDs.]

Ah, the surprise hit of last year, Lethal Company! I've put quite a few hours into this co-op survival horror, and part of what keeps this game that's relatively simple in concept fresh enough to keep coming back is the many entities within. Today, we'll be having a look at a couple of them, including one that's been there since I first started playing, the Circuit Bees, as well as one that's only been added just a few updates ago, the Mask Hornets!

Starting off with the Circuit Bees, their appearance is generally undefined, with a very low-poly model and a muddy texture, but they generally seem to be wider than a typical honey bee, their size resembling that of a carpenter or bumble bee or maybe even a blow fly, the red eyes adding a bit to the blow fly comparison, they're missing one pair of legs and noticable antennae, and their wings appear to look a lot like those of a dragonfly, with dense venation, although having an orange color that resembles that of tarantula hawk wasps.

[Image Sources: Wikimedia Commons, Muhammad Mahdi Karim, ResearchGate, and Wikimedia Commons, Niklas299 | Image IDs: A photo of a metallic green and brown blow fly, Chrysomya megacephala, with red eyes on the end of a leaf, followed by a black and white diagram of a dragonfly's wings, followed then by a photo of an almost blueish black tarantula hawk wasp with orange and black wings, Pepsis grossa, on a leafy green plant /End IDs.]

So overall their appearance is very different from that of a honey bee, however, in Sigurd's log it states "The circuit bee, also known as red bee, is a eusocial flying insect of the genus Apis, a descendant of the honey bee.", meaning that the Circuit Bee is directly related to the IRL modern day honey bee (Despite having their scientific name listed as Crabro-coruscus). Clearly, some extreme evolution has taken place!

This evolution is clearly shown in their nesting and defense behavior, their nests going from connected but separate slabs of wax in the branches of trees to exclusively grounded nests, not connected to anything and having a round structure akin to that of a yellowjacket nest, large honeycomb cells covering the outer surface.

[Image Source: wildalongtheway | Image IDs: A photo of an abandoned wild honey bee hive in a tree, followed by a 3D render of a circuit bee hive]

As for their defense behaviors, they're far more aggressive than even the most aggressive eusocial wasps in the real world, but are easy to calm down. Once their hive is picked up, they will not stop until they manage to return to their hive and all players are out of their radius, and until they're no longer enraged they will attack everything in their path, chasing the nearest employee or roaming the area if everyone is outside of their radius. It doesn't seem like they'll truly attack other entities other than the employees, but the log further states "They have BEEn known to leave BEEhind fields of bodies of small rodents, insects and even some larger mammals, and in rare cases they can start fires."

But how can they start fires? Well, that's where the their main method of defense comes in. They're capable of creating friction in the air and generating a static charge! "Red bees produce friction with the air. They also produce friction by rubbing their two pairs of wings against each other or by rubbing against one another while in the hive.". Obviously, this is not a real defense method used by any real world insect, but mayhaps this is an adaptation caused by the presence of more extremely aggressive lifeforms on the moons visited by the employees. Perhaps it's also inspired by honey bees' real world ability to generate heat through vibration of the wing muscles.

Their diet is uncertain, but it can be assumed they maintain a similar diet to real honey bees or possibly even vulture bees.

Onto Mask Hornets, there unfortunately isn't a log that can be read from for further information specifically about them, but we can still have a look at their appearance and behavior!

They have identically shaped and colored heads and wings to the Circuit Bees, but bodies that make them look that much more like dragonflies given how thin and long they are, much thinner than real world hornets. Their leg count is also unclear from the images I can find, but I believe they have two pairs of legs, much like the circuit bees.

They also have very similar behavior defensively, although they don't have the ability to generate electricity and instead will sting the employees much like real wasps, and they're also only found inside the facility rather than outside. They will not stop after they become enraged, as they only appear after their nest is destroyed, and therefore cannot return to their nest. What does their nest look like? Uhm... Well...

[Image ID: A 3D render of the Butler from Lethal Company holding a broom and a knife /End IDs.]

Their nest is this guy! Described as looking like a deflated balloon and smelling like rotten flesh, this is the Butler. Whether it has a mind of its own or it's puppeted by the Mask Hornets is unclear, but it does appear to at least mimic human behavior, walking around and sweeping the area until an employee is alone with it, at which point it starts to give chase with a knife. The origin of its clothes, broom, and knife are unknown. Upon being killed, it pops like a balloon and the Mask Hornets emerge.

Generally, both of these insects are strange, as is the point of them, being from the game they're from, and I do love these weird little dudes, but they're not necessarily accurate. Zeekers, at the very least, did put some good thought into the Circuit Bees though.

-

Overall (Circuit Bees): 5.5/10

Overall (Mask Hornets): 4/10

-

Leave your wasp review suggestion in the replies, tags, or askbox!

Next week's wasp has not been chosen yet!

[niuniente]

I have multiple favorite characters. They're all equally beloved. I don't get to choose which one of them is on the spotlight - they come and go on their own.

Because of this, I have assigned a personal meaning to each character: this character means have more fun; this character means that keep your eyes on the price; this character means a time of transition; this character asks to rest more. Always works!

A month ago, Dragunov from Tekken appeared on the spotlight (this didn't happen with Tekken 7 so we can't blame the new Tekken being out).

Now, the first time he was on a spotlight was 15 years ago. I was in a horrible place back then. There was a legal mess which, if the shit hit the fan, would ruin the rest of my life. Literally. I wouldn't be able to get a rental apartment, make any new contracts like electricity, phone, internet, buy anything with monthly payments, get subscription services, I would lose part of my income. I was THIS CLOSE to lose it all and the worst thing was that there was nothing I could. I hadn't caused the mess but I had no way out of it either. I even went to a lawyer to ask for a legal help but he couldn't help.

I feared for my life and future, hoping it would turn out OK. What kept me sane was playing Tekken 6. I played it hours every day and always as Dragunov. I even did my art school final thesis of fan culture and Dragunov (I had much fun with a Russian fan who drew really pretty pics of Dragunov and gave me an access to her screencapture collection of Tekken 6 for my thesis)

Then, one day I figured what was Dragunov's assigned meaning; you will survive. No matter what the odds, even if it was the 3rd world war, you will survive and come out alive without any harm.

That's exactly what happened. Took 2 more years but I got out alive, unharmed. It was horrible time. I'm glad it's over.

So, when Dragunov NOW suddenly appeared on the spotlight after 15 years, my initial thought was "WHAT WHAT, WHAT'S THE BAD NEWS??? WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE ODDS ARE HORRIBLE BUT I'LL SURVIVE????! "

Two weeks later, in a span of a week, without any prior warnings:

I got laid off because the company bankruptcy and fell on a social welfare

this happened while the current right-wing government made big cuts to social welfare and housing benefits (so I don't know if I can keep my current home)

while at the same time prices keep getting higher due to inflation

The IUD for anemia treatment came out on its own

Because of that I'm without any help to my iron anemia and the only solution will be hysterectomy in my case; doctors aren't giving those easily (even when needed)

I lost my workplace healthcare which would have been the easiest and the best way to get to hysterectomy

the sudden removal of IUD is causing me horrible withdrawal symptoms

my Japanese friend told me that she's unable to come to Finland this year and has to postpone her trip till 2025 :(((

(which also means I won't get my favorite cigarettes I smoke for fancy treats a few times a year because I can only get it from Japan - ordering tobacco online is illegal here)

noticed that wasps had made a nest to my balcony (that's being taken care off)

couldn't attend a free(!) ice-cream tasting for a feedback and for a free 15€ gift card because of the IUD withdrawal symptoms

found out that trains aren't operating normally and my home station is under construction and causes some issues

So yeah. He wasn't lying. It's been so bad that the first thing this morning when waking up was to take stomach medicine and have a smoke. And I'm not a smoker.

Horrible times are up ahead but I trust that I'll survive out of this phase just like I did 15 year ago.

(:::з」∠)

[koipalm]

Ares doesn’t know what to do.

The war has been escalating, and this time not even himself and Athena can handle the damage. What started as a political assassination garnered too much attention, first from the mortals, and then from the gods as the prayers gained strength. He didn’t start this war, but he honestly wished he had- then, maybe, he’d be able to control the damage. But he couldn’t stop the generals from praying to his uncle for safe voyages, and he didn’t know that their opponents would pray to Athena, and then the civilians fled to Demeter and Hestia, and the dissidents called on Apollo, so, really: it’s all a clusterfuck. To put it lightly.

And to make it worse, they’re blaming him for this. Again. Which, fuck, fine, he gets it, he’s the god of war, but Athena doesn’t get this treatment, nor does she get to be ostracized for it, not to mention that this time, it wasn’t even his fucking fault! The mortals didn’t even pray to him first!

So, really, all of this means that Ares needs a break. Desperately. And not just a “I need to go lay down because this is exhausting,” a break like he needs help. The prayers barely ebb, instead they’re getting stronger, and now the nymphs are reporting that Hecate has joined. And Ares can’t fight her. Won’t. He can’t fight her, because it won’t be worth it. He’s seen her magic first hand before. Then, he didn’t have to fight her before she was taken down. But he’s the only one on his side right now. He’d ask Hermes or Zagreus for help, but they’re both too busy with the death count in the Underworld to lend any real aid.

Contact with Artemis has also been rough. She’ll try to get to him when he can, but she’s too occupied hunting the monsters released by the carnage to join him on the front lines. The only chance he has left is to contact his Uncle’s realm; specifically, Lady Nyx. He’s seen Thanatos collecting souls, but his sisters more than him have been glutting themselves on the fields of carnage. Hermes relayed that his letter has been delivered by now, but he can’t promise a response. On some level, Ares was expecting this. But by Hades, if he really has to fight Hecate, he can’t promise he won’t freeze. Or just run, for that matter.

For a moment, he contemplates if an Olympian god can die like his cousin Zagreus. Perhaps hanging out in his uncle’s realm for a few years will save him the assured tragedy.

But— no. He has a position to uphold. If, in doing so, he falls to Hecate then— that will have to be how it is. Perhaps, hopefully, maybe, Hermes will realize and save him like last time. Maybe he won’t. But he refuses to turn his back on those that called for him.

Despite what it might cost.

-

Hypnos hits the ground. Hard.

His arms smack the ground before he does, a short delay before the fall, but the shock travels up his body so hard he’s sure he won’t need his shoulders after this. For a moment he lays there, panting into the ground face-down, but he brings his arms underneath him to push himself up. He doesn’t get far before the shake in his limbs makes him catch himself before his chin can hit the ground. He makes a sound, he thinks, something high in his throat, but the ringing in his ears makes it hard to hear it. He’s panting harder now, but his breaths come out in hiccups randomly, like his body doesn’t understand that he’s not still falling. It hurts like a bitch, but the tears beading in his eyes have no real say on what his body can or can’t do, so he keeps trying. The progress is jerky, and he’s stopped panting in favor of making terrible, choked up noises in his throat. The rasp makes his voice sound like a wasp nest, but a part of him is glad that he at least doesn’t have a sore throat yet. Small mercies.

Once he hits his zenith, Hypnos sighs and rocks back onto his calves, choking down the inhale when his bleeding palms reach the ground behind him to support his weight. He wastes time like that, looking up and just choking through his breath. It feels like his forehead is bleeding. It probably is. Whatever. Head wounds always bleed a lot. What might need something, Hypnos thinks, trying not to even entertain the thought of moving, is the open wound in his torso.

Granted, it’s not that large of a wound comparatively, but it’s deep and what originally made it had gotten wrenched out earlier, so he’s not that happy with the state of it. Usually he’ll just go home and bandage his wound, or drink some nectar and pass out while he’s waiting for the bleeding to slow, but when Hypnos lifts a shaky hand to assess the damage, his fingers skate across the slick skin to find a well of blood. It bubbles up when he presses on it, which in hindsight is probably not the best idea. Finally his fingers hit the ragged edges of the wound, which should probably hurt more than it does but he might be in shock. So.

So, in reality, he’s fine! Chthonic gods heal quickly enough, it’ll all be over in a few days. In the meantime, he’ll just— just have to catch up on work! Not that it’s really a bad thing, of course, his job is important, and it’s not that he dislikes it, it’s just that— everyone else gets to talk to other people. They get to move around, and do other things, something other than just stand there as a particularly garish decoration.

Well, maybe not everyone. Achilles does just that, but then again, Hypnos thinks it’s rather a good idea that he doesn’t move around the house as much. He doesn’t need another mortal on his hands, he’s busy enough with the ones already alive. Plus, Achilles is allowed to move around, it’s just that he doesn’t want to. He’s like a tall lamp that occasionally will utter a phrase or so. The point is, Achilles is definitely fucked up, and Hypnos can prove it— he’s seen him in the Nightmares mortals cook up, and it sure isn’t all sheep and sparkling waters. He doesn’t need that guy to walk around and possibly get provoked, Hypnos doesn’t want to have to deal with that and have to put him down for good! Let him stay in his lonely little corner. He just wishes that guy were further away from his station, he’s kind of an eyesore. Again. Not that Hypnos has room to talk, but still. He likes to entertain the idea that at least as a god he’s more valuable than that little squirt.

Speaking of that little squirt, Hypnos teleports into the house with a puff of smoke, letting the remnants of the Lethe disappear as he peeks out behind the pillar he’s hiding behind. He can hear Achilles’ quiet murmurs to Zagreus in the Hall behind, and Hades is behind his desk communing with his paperwork as always. Hypnos can’t see Persephone, but she’s probably somewhere around. Maybe with his mother again. Whatever.

He settles back in at his position, carefully summoning his pen and list. No one bats an eye, and even the shades just form into line without a word. Nothing to see here.

Hypnos hunches over his torso, curling his legs under him. Once he gets a break, he’ll stitch it up, or fuck it, maybe just cauterize it. For now, he lets it bleed into his cape. The inside’s dark for a reason. His head throbs, but at least it’s similar enough to fatigue to brush it off.

God, he’s tired.

-

He isn’t sure how much time has passed. Hypnos is still there, mindlessly floating and checking boxes on his list. His wound is still bleeding sluggishly, but he hasn’t been able to get a break yet. At some point Hades noticed his presence and ordered him to submit his next report, which! Wow, who fucking knew, it wasn’t ready! So he’s behind. Again. Wha-hoo!

Which is to say, he’s looking for a break.

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

Lance/hunk/shiro for character opinion bingo :3?

Hi!! Thanks for asking!!!!

Lance-

Everyone but me is wrong about them<3- Source: trust me bro. But ok seriously, everyone is going to have their own opinions and interpretations and they are more or less valid. I get that! And i also get that people are just having fun! I really do! I am not trying to be fun police! But also there is so much in the fandom that is Just......plain wrong whether it's coming from Lance stans or Lance haters or Keith stans who ship kl, i don't even know where to begin with. And even if i did know, if i started listing all of them we'll be here all day. Ok i think my biggest gripe is this insistence that if kl (or any Keith ship really) had became canon it could have saved vld, cause just no. No it won't. The writers hate their characters of colour and the Love Keith, if kl had became canon Lance would have just been reduced to being Keith's eye candy. Neither would making him Black paladin. Just look at what happened to Shiro and Kuron

They got done dirty by the fans- Kl shippers insisting that their fanon 'fixed' Lance and said fanon is Lance having every nuance or complexity removed with only things remaining is either his insecurities and him having a crush on Keith my beloathed. Please i need most fans (especially Keith stans) away from him, doesn't matter what their feelings about Lance are, all of them somehow come up with worse fanon

They got done dirty by the creators- Everyone and their mother has talked about this in great detail but still. Just. A farmer?!?! A FARMER?!?!?!!? Also apparently him moving to Altea even though he spent so much time missing Earth like?!??! I would have accepted that if it's because he is Allura's Prince Consort or a diplomat or something but this is just bullshit

Wasted Potential- Lance could have had such a great arc about being support and humility and finding his own place with his own strength but noOooOoo it's instead about how he'll only ever be second choice to fucking Keith

I am constantly going insane rotating him in my brain like a fork in a microwave- this fucker has been in my brain for 7 goddamn years and he is neither planning to leave nor planning to pay rent

Popular ships for this character suck- i actually like most of his ships except klance, the blight that it is (i enjoy it too occasionally but it's so everywhere it's getting on my nerves, free my boy i am tired of Keith)

Overrated- I love him. He is my most favorite character ever, but people need to shut up about him forever <333, especially because that fanon guy is not my son

Constantly listening to songs and mentally holding them up like paint swatches- i have. So. Many animatic ideas around Lance. So many of them

I WANT TO STUDY THEM LIKE COCKROACH- He's my little labrat and i am an unethical scientist about to have fun experimenting. He's just so intriguing, i think what's intriguing to me about is how much messy, contradictory and human he is as a character

FREE SPACE- Maybe i am bit biased here but in my opinion vld should have had three main focal points. Shiro, as he has connection with galra empire and the horrors they were committing in the present and the universe that needs to be rescued, saved and healed. Allura, as she has connection with the lions and their legend as well as the past of the galran empire and what was destroyed in their wake and seeks justice, healing, and remembrance. And finally, Lance, as he's connected to every member of the new team, no matter how uncertain and one sided those bonds were, to Earth and his family who never even knew about those dangers and are unprepared, what's at stake and the future that needs to be defended and protected.

What's wrong with him (affectionate)- He's so goddamn annoying<33333

Not Enough ScreenTime- Or atleast he definitely he needed more focus

My opinions would be received by most fans as akin to hitting a wasps nest with baseball bat- other than my dislike for kl? I think allurance was fine, yes the relationship needed better writing. But so did every relationship in this goddamn show buddy, as a matter al is one of the only ones that actually had some development for both the characters.

Also Lance should have stayed the blue paladin "He deserved to be someone's first choice" HE WAS ALREADY SOMEONE'S FIRST CHOICE!!! HE WAS BLUE'S FIRST CHOICE!!!! BLUE WAITED FOR HIM FOR 10,000 YEARS!!! SHE CHOSE HIM OVER THE BEST PILOTS, THE BEST ENGINEERS, THE BEST SCIENTIST AND SO MANY OTHERS!!!!! *rattling and gnawing on my cage bars*

BITING AND KILLING AND MAIMING THEM AND DEATH AND VIOLENCE- I am definitely Normal™ about him. Yup. Just don't look at my blog

Hunk-

i have answered him here!

Shiro-

They got done dirty by the fans- I do not get this opinion that Shiro staying dead would have fixed the narrative. Like Shiro had been dead since s2 and only came back at the end of s6 to be a side character. Him staying alive was not the reason behind the quality of the show decreasing. Also the entire "who should be the Black Paladin" debate is pointless the answer will always be the guy who fought Zarkon in the Astral Plane for it.

They got done dirty by the creators- Literally so fucking dirty, Shiro really goes from one of the most interesting character with compelling backstory integral to the plot, to a side character who may as well just not be there. The absolute bs of it all

Wasted Potential- Shiro had So Much going for him as a character, but alas

They work better as a part of a dynamic- Shiro and Black Lion parallel mirrored dynamic my beloved they'll never make me hate you <333. Cause seriously it's the most Lion-Paladin bond in the whole show, their shared similar trauma and that too from same people!!! How can you not???

The popular ships for this character suck- maybe this is just me being a Keith hater, but Shiro's dynamic with literally every other character was far more compelling then his dynamic with Keith. Like with Allura? Shared trauma from same people and also shared responsibility. With Pidge? Trying to find the same people they love. With Hunk? Two characters who struggle with their neurodivergency and need stability. With Lance? Character foils. In all these cases Shiro is in an equal position and feels like a character. With Keith however, platonic or romantic, the entire relationship is about how Keith feels about Shiro, and how sad Keith gets when Shiro gets hurt/missing etc etc, and just a completely one sided mess that is less about them equals and more about putting Keith on pedestal, which is just utterly boring nothing burger to me

I want to study them like a cockroach- Tell me your secrets boy <33

Not enough screen time- Yeah </3

My opinions would be received by most fans as akin to hitting a wasps nest with baseball bat- Like i said i find his dynamic with Keith at best boring and at worst detrimental to his character in canon in Doylist perspective way. Which sucks cause like it's fan favorite relationship in both canon and fanon and is also almost everywhere.

Also i know twinganes (Kuron and Shiro being bros) is really popular but i personally cant see them get along. Especially at first. Shiro canonically doesn't like Kuron and refers to him as an evil clone, which understandable, Shiro did spend months dead in astral plane while Kuron (unknowingly) took over his life and then goes on to nearly kill his friends. But it is also so unfair to Kuron who is not only dead but also no one is mourning him AND his body is being used by Shiro. So if Kuron were to survive all That™ i doubt he'll have high opinions about Shiro as well (hence my post s8 au)

And even if all that didn't happen i still think they'll have problems. Like at best they will be civil and friendly but also deeply uncomfortable around each other (Kuron cuz clone trauma and Shiro cuz Haggar trauma). At worst it's just this-

I like them but i don't think about him much- confession i personally found Kuron to be much more compelling as a character. Shiro is a good character! I get why people like him!!! But also if i had to choose between the two it would be Kuron without a doubt. Shiro just doesn't hit the brainrot levels of likability to me

[symbioticsimplicity]

This Idiot Has Seen Goncharov

So today marked the coalescence of the Goncharov Incident as I’ll be calling it, so I think it’s finally time to share.

For a bit of context, you need to know a little more about one of my co-workers. We’ll call him Zeke. First it’s important to note that despite being in his early thirties, Zeke doesn’t have any sort of social media accounts outside of a MySpace page. Dude has straight up been living like it’s still 2007. Zeke also has a fixation with my friend/roommate who also works with us. Zeke will hop onto whatever bandwagon this friend, who we’ll call Jesse, is on. But most importantly to this whole tableau, Zeke likes to tell tall tales, like no matter what you’re talking about, or what you’ve done, this guy has done it but bigger and crazier.

That alone would be annoying, but it wouldn’t be enough to push myself and Jesse to the level we’ve hit with him. For me, it’s the constant need to put other people down for ‘knowing less than he does’ despite the obviousness of his knowledge being a collection of poorly constructed lies. Like not only does he lie, but this dumbass doesn’t even bother to check into the things he lies about. Several times he’s tried to convince me of something in a subject I know everything about. He refuses to admit to being wrong and he won’t back down from anything he’s said, it’s infuriating.

For this, and quite a few other reasons transphobic cough cough augh, he’s been bothering Jesse and I for quite a while. Badly enough that the spite fueled wasp nest that lives in the back corner of my brain Morse coded a plan to me.

Goncharov.

What better way to trip up a ride or die compulsive liar than a piece of media well known for being entirely fictional?

The next day, when Zeke climbed into my car during our lunch hour, Jesse and I began talking about this old movie we’d recently watched. The two of us have known each other more than long enough to able to follow each other’s bullshit like second nature, we’ve played an assload of DND together. In ten minutes we’ve got the whole first arc talked out with a few of the “best scenes” highlighted. (Personal favorites being Andrey juggling guns “a la John Wick/Guns Akimbo” and Katya killing a man point blank after saying ‘Get Gonch’d bitch’ in a 1973 film.)

Zeke didn’t respond too much, just kind of nodded and ignored most of the convo since it wasn’t really about him. I didn’t really expect him to engage to start, he usually doesn’t, but we’d planned to keep this up for another couple days anyhow.

But like clockwork, the more Jesse talked about it, the more Zeke seemed to remember it. Enough that I jumped ahead a little and pulled up the faux movie poster to show him.

He squinted at it then nodded and said he’d definitely seen the movie before.

When I tell you I almost fucking screamed.

Of course he couldn’t remember many details because it had been so long since he’d seen it. To tell you the truth I’d checked out at that point, I was focused on not losing my shit, I have no fucking idea what he said.

While this was an entire meal served up on a silver platter, it would have been pretty easy to say he’d seen the poster somewhere despite not having socials. I want this man incinerated, not merely singed.

Which leads me to the events of the last couple days.

So Zeke came up to Jesse and I and told us he wanted to re-watch Goncharov and asked us if it’s on Netflix.

Jesse and I both said that it is, without hesitation.

Zeke went to look for it (at work, while we’re working no less, again I missed the rest of what he was saying here I was mentally biting him) and obviously found nothing. So he searched every other streaming platform he had, and Youtube, all once again coming up empty.

At this point, I was sure the jig is up. He was actually searching it now so obviously he’d find one of the search results letting him know Goncharov’s true nature. I’m fairly certain the first result for it on Google says that it’s fake.

Oh hoo hoo, no.

Zeke came to me to complain about not being able to find the movie and in a fit of clandestine fervor, I told him that we probably watched it on a pirating site.

It was beautiful, it was inspired, and it worked.

Zeke asked me for the site and I told him that I’d have to get it from our other roommate since she’s in charge of the tech in our house. Then I hauled ass to go find Jesse and spill the latest tea before Zeke could. 

Later on Jesse sent him the link to the site, and he told us he’d find it over the weekend.

Well today, friends, is Monday.

Most of today we spent too busy to go grill Zeke about whether or not he’s crossed over into the fucking Mandela timeline and managed to watch Goncharov. But ten minutes before close, while we’re waiting to go, suddenly Zeke perks up, and remembers that when he gets home, he has to finish watching the movie. He’d had trouble getting the site to work on his phone, but his Xbox had run it, and he’d started watching it, but had unfortunately fallen asleep before he’d finished.

Now. I am a calm man, I can keep a straight face if I need to. But hearing this fucking idiot tell me he’d started watching a fictitious movie made up by Tumblr.com of all places nearly sent me to the fucking Shadow Realm with the amount of effort it took not to crack.

He talked for a couple more minutes before fucking off to do something else, I have no idea again I wasn’t fucking listening, I was trying not to visibly cry from holding back laughter.

But then he left and like instinct, like the inevitable impact of atoms inside of the Hadron collider, Jesse and I turned to look at each other. I knew what Jesse would say, Jesse knew what I would say, and like fate, like destiny, like two people who had witnessed a man commit manslaughter against his own damn self, we spoke at once.

“This idiot has seen Goncharov.”

[revelboo]

Thank you for the Ugly Puppy (Waspinator) content!

me, about a grown-ass man who is also a giant robot bug: noooooo he's just a little guy!

Giant, scary wasp much bigger than you are just cowering if you come after him with a rolled up newspaper. Would probably act like he’s dying if you whacked him with it, too

Worker Bee Pt 3

IDW Waspinator x Reader

• Somehow you fell back asleep. You also nearly have a heart attack waking up to those sharp mandibles inches from your face, big purple optics wide open staring at you. Buzzing out a cheerful ‘small friend’ at you. Nope, not okay at all. “Has anyone ever explained personal space to you?” Gingerly reaching to try and push him off you, which is as effective as trying to push a truck sideways, he just tips his head.

• “No.” Your little hands are warm on his head and he leans into the touch. Until you groan and just cover your face with your hands. Whatever else you’re saying muffled, before you let your arms drop and just stare at the ceiling. Not time to get up yet, he decides, laying his head back down on your soft chest. And you make a strangled sound.

• “Nope, you gotta move.” Pushing at him more insistently until he makes an unhappy buzzing hiss and lifts up enough that you can squirm out of bed. And he immediately slumps in the warm spot you just left, wings fluttering. Skin pricking as how cold it is away from the heat of Waspinator sinks in, dread spills through you. Frowning, you head through the house. A table in the hall is broken, but it’s your front door that stops you short. Your door that’s torn out of the frame, wood splintered at the edges as snow lazily drifts inside the kitchen. “Are you kidding me?”

• His little friend’s nest is soft as he burrows under the blankets, only to lift his head when they’re yanked away. And oh, angry. You’re angry with Waspinator. Cringing down as you stare at him, an arm lifting to point down the hall. “There is snow in my kitchen and a big gaping hole where my door should be, Waspinator.” He hadn’t been able to figure out the tiny handle, but the door had come loose easily enough when he’d pulled. But like before, you don’t hit him. Don’t do anything but point. Upset, but not hurting him.

• “Fix,” he declares, moving out of your ruined bed and down the hall, insectile legs scraping the walls on both sides as you follow him. Hands trembling in anger. Trying to figure out how to get rid of your new, clingy bestie. Without provoking him, because he’s still big and scary strong. You tense when he folds in on himself and transforms to that other, slightly less unsettling form and watch him pick up the door and just prop it up in the frame. There’s a gap around it and it’s just leaning there, but he turns back to you. “Waspinator fixed.” And he sounds so stupidly proud of himself. Like he thinks he actually did a good job as your shoulders slump.

Previous

Next

[alaskashigh]

i’m currently driving around in a toddler car so whens the best time to write silly headcanons then now? (Or I get silly ideas when i'm outside doing dumb things so here's some funny things while I have the motivation.) Illinois has definitely driven around his cities in one of those pink toddler cars. He went through a fast food driveway and got a buncha laughs by employees and customers, but was later kicked out by the manager. Bummer. California once went full blown Karen on a In-N-Out manager (damn these managers wildin) because he was exhausted. He was too embarrassed to go back so he ended up going to a new In-N-Out entirely. Florida and Lousiana once taped a bluetooth speaker onto Connecticut's back without him knowing. Everytime he would walk the two would play the Pirates of the Caribbean theme song. It drove Connecticut crazy for a few hours. One time Arkansas and his kids were outside trying to get rid of a wasps nest, his kids decided to be idiots and hit the thing down with a bat. Wasps were everywhere, kids were screaming and fleeing the scene, it was chaos. Arkansas made a mental note to never let his kids deal with something like that ever again. New York and California like to hangout in stores or outside a bunch, and so there was this one time they decided to run around Walmart at 12 in the morning. They ended up knocking an entire aisle over and got kicked out.

Washington and Oregon have a vlog channel. One of their videos is trying different Starbucks drinks and rating them. Every drink was rated poorly, but they secretly enjoyed the drinks. (A couple weeks later they caught each other going to Starbucks. It was very awkward.) Virginia once took Massachusetts to a sweet tea festival as a joke. He almost lost his shit and destroyed the place. (Luckily Virginia dragged him out with minimal damage done to the festival) My motivation has been shit because I always push myself too much when it comes to writing fics and headcanons, so my bad that I haven't gotten to asks or posted in a bit. I actually started a few of the headcanon asks and things a few days ago, I just haven't posted them since I don't want anything to be like half-assed. I'm workin on it I swear lol

[robbno]

I poisoned myself...

This morning at my workplace, I felt the symptoms of a cold brewing in my throat.

I was fine when I woke up. So this was quite a turn, if I may say so.

Eventually it got so bad and I was worried I was a walking virus hazard. So I called the day of and manage to get home before it got worse.

I was surprised to admit that I was feeling a little better when I enter my home. Just a little feverish cold.

I still got to rest up a bit when it hit me... and I went to get a certain "product" and read it's warning label.

A side problem. We have a hided wasps nest by our front door that I've been treated with "Raid spray". I used it before I left this morning

The container said "for indoor use" and I thought it would be okay to use on my front porch. I didn't think of the little element called "wind"

This gas is mostly harmless to humans unless you snort the stuff. But it has symptoms that can get confused with a cold if used wrong.

I poisoned myself!! I had to wash my clothes and rest. I wasted a sick day on being a bloody idiot!

[rowanb3rries]

tmagp episode 20 thoughts. no or not a lot of context but still read at your own peril

to be clear these are just things that are popping into my head as i listen, not a particularly well-thought-out analysis

index of these posts

2:30 instantly i'm hit with the difference between this and when gwen tried to confide in sam and alice fff

3:55 "you know that case i got yesterday?" yeah man that was last week for me and i'm still kinda fucked up about it

4:15 celia Wants To Hear This. i want to know what she's up to so bad lmao

5:20 "that's why i've been trying so hard to protect you" vs "because i'm scared, martin"

7:15 sam's "what" here

7:30 : ) tell me more about these catastrophic world endingly bad things celia

8:15 there is a wasp's nest in my attic

10:30 OH VERY INTERESTING

11:20 "i wanted to be seen", is what they mean. much to think about

14:50 lots of new names in this one

17:30 man. this PERSON

18:55 "small inheritance" but you don't need to worry about money which tells me something else about you than i think you meant to tell me

20:40 this is another one that has me reading ahead in the transcript

20:55 "keeping canvases still" ah, i see

22:25 this one i feel like is much more 'classic' in its mechanism. the fear is what they're after

25:55 OOF

prev | next

i have a kofi if you like this and want to help me keep doing it

[organizationhimself]

i want to talk about a phenomenon i keep seeing with regard to shipping that i find super annoying. it's not, strictly speaking, a problem, but i do think it's gotten to this point where it's actively undermining a lot of character analysis and attempts to reconcile narrative theming.

the thing i'm talking about is when every available scrap of characterization MUST support, let's say, the relationship between minor character Blorble and main character Scrunklia. you and i can freely disagree about whether Scrunklia's tragic past is perfectly aligned with Blorble's bitter misanthropy, we're going to see that kind of thing very differently and that's not what i mean. i'm talking about when Blorble is casually late to a team meeting with the rest of the cast and Scrunklia is peeved, and the character analysis gleefully decides that, because Scrunklia's hair is slightly mussed (which gets pointed out later and made a big deal of and leads to her opening up to a different character about her stress levels), this means she and Blorble must have made out before the meeting.

...like. what? it can't be that this character is visibly stressed out about the unfolding plot of the story, which is actively bringing up uncomfortable memories for her that she is working through with a VARIETY of characters on the cast, and the text demonstrates other examples of her expressing her dissatisfaction with Blorble's ability to respect other people's time? that's maybe not the most romantic interpretation but it's going to be more honest to their characters than a variation that specifically hunts for ANYTHING that positively, and only positively associates Scrunklia's every expressed feeling, opinion, and belief with Blorble (and vice versa), regardless of the cost to her emotional depth and arc.

this extrapolation can warp to the point that the analysis triumphantly declares that not only is Blunklia endgame, but it is supported by the overarching narrative themes of the entire work, up to and including the wedding at the end between Scrunklia and Meowmoe where she looks sadly in the direction of the graveyard where her parents are buried, and where she and Blorble had a conversation once, so that actually means she's thinking regretfully of Blorble while she says her vows.

do you see what i mean? and i could even agree with this interpretation at points. i might think that, while Meowmoe is an excellent friend to her, they don't actually know how to handle Scrunklia's ups and downs as effectively as Blorble. i might agree that thematically, it makes sense for Scrunklia to have a relationship with Blorble that is, if not directly romantic, very intensely platonic and he is one of the emotional support beams in her life. but...that doesn't mean everything this character is and was and will be should be DIRECTLY related to this other character and no one else! there are other characters in the story. sometimes it is about them. sometimes it is about only the one character and THEIR past, and THEIR feelings, and it does them a disservice to deliberately twist that to have the most tenuous possible connection with this particular beau. not only that, it weakens the overall understanding and fandom interpretation of that character.

obviously my examples above are fake and don't have any direct correlation to actual characters (that...i'm aware of??) so don't read into that, because i have an actual example, and here's where i know i'm going to be hitting a wasp's nest dead on.

everybody buckled in? ok.

let's talk about soriku.

i want to preface this by saying i have shipped soriku since 2002. i spent my teenage years in lethal combat with the sokais for an embarrassingly long time, so i'm not here to cast stones, i know my sins. and i don't expect this argument that has been raging back and forth for nearly a quarter of a century to ever actually die down.

my issue i'm taking with it is that a lot of the soriku analysis i see these days does what i'm talking about above, and deliberately undermines sora and riku's individual relationships to other characters (whether they're interpreted as romantically charged or not) as well as their own individual characterizations, in order to fit them into this mold where riku is the caretaker of sora and the Most Importantest Specialest brightest light in the whole entire world, and actually kingdom hearts has been about his relationship to sora the entire time and nothing else.

like...do you think for even a minute that riku would appreciate being told he is actually some sort of bright light that eclipses kairi? that eclipses sora? his entire character arc is about finding a way to accept his darkness and grow in spite of and around it. other characters in the series shout in dismay that no one has ever been able to use light and darkness together like he has. why take all that nuance away, why boil all that down, in order to justify him being sora's direct leader and guide to all things and sole confidante? didn't we establish in kh2 already that their relationship has changed? that riku has always wanted to be more like sora, in the same ways that sora has grown up envying riku for his strength and talent, and riku had to grow and set aside his pride in order to not just expect sora to follow him, but to follow sora sometimes? i can't stress enough that this interpretation of riku is actively deconstructing his entire, fascinating character growth back to its foundations to try to reestablish him as sora's fearless leader and the actual bearer of the light with nary a shred of darkness in his heart. the chosen one, magnanimously letting his exalted eyes rest on the ordinary, unremarkable delivery boy.

and this is coming from a really specific place. because kairi is presented as sora's guiding light in so many ways (and i have a different essay about how this is important to them but also a glaring disservice to her), so...if we're going to cleave to the school of thought above and EVERYTHING sora ever does, says, and thinks must naturally draw his eyes back to riku no matter what, then of course any reference to kairi as being remarkable to sora in some way that riku does not share or exceed must be stamped out of relevance or twisted to serve riku instead. (this doesn't necessarily mean that sora can't have a relationship to kairi that's in some ways important, but all the MOST important and emotionally charged bits can only ever belong to riku.)

this includes, of course, the bane of my existence: the meteor shower.

the argument i've seen for why the meteor shower memory must be a real memory is that namine can't just make memories up, she can only alter existing memories. this...is obviously not true? multiple characters talk about how she can just create whatever she wants and rewrite reality to be whatever she needs; marluxia and larxene are explicitly relying on this fact and directly demand it of her in ways that namine never objects to on the basis that she can't do that, and it's demonstrated in the canon. there was never a real little girl on the islands who was friends with sora and riku and kairi and left suddenly. there was never a friend who used to draw pictures of them on the beach while they played.

because namine didn't WANT to replace someone in sora's life, she only ever wanted her own place there (and knew she could never actually have it). if she wanted to, she could have just made it so that she was kairi all along; that kairi was not alone when she arrived during said meteor shower, or else sora suddenly recalls that it wasn't kairi he met with in the caves in traverse town, but a friend who'd left the islands long ago. it wasn't kairi he saved. it wasn't even kairi he parted from at the end of kh1.

the thing is it seems to take namine much less time to create false memories. when she finally starts working with sora's real ones, she indicates to him that it will take some time (and there were other complications but if she needed him to literally go into cryostasis, we're not talking a week or two). it's never suggested that she alters his real memories in the canon; she describes it as taking apart the links in the chain and attaching the new links. the ones she MADE.

but ok, for the sake of argument, let's grant this limitation even though it's not supported by the text. and let's ignore namine's character, too, and say she'd actually do this to sora on purpose because it doesn't actually matter to her to have her own role in her little fantasy of sora being eager to protect her. why doesn't she just replace kairi, from the start? theoretically this would be easier than going through the effort of coming up with her own storyline to explain who she is and where she went.

"namine's only doing it that way so sora doesn't realize his memories are being replaced." would sora not recognize that such an important memory of riku was being replaced? if namine decided instead to replace his memory of kairi washing up on the beach with herself, do you think sora wouldn't find something wrong with that? why would he so easily and cavalierly assume that this again, allegedly so significant and unique event that happened with one of his two best friends in the entire world, just...actually happened between him and this person he only vaguely remembers? doesn't that mean he barely remembers it even before namine gets very deep into his memory, and he doesn't really think of it as significant at all?

furthermore--if we're treating this as "actually it was riku who said he'd protect sora," then why does sora remember this from the wrong perspective? the replica remembers too, but every memory he has is fake, namine has unrestricted access to him, and she can demonstrably rewrite his memories at whim. sora is the one namine is trying to convince! why would she alter the memory to not just directly replace someone in sora's memory (like she has never done with any other memory of his), but replace him in his own memory? if the memory was real and riku was really the one there, what sora should be remembering is namine swearing to protect HIM!

and that's not even the worst of it, because namine has deliberately made these memories to create doubt. she wants sora to question why riku remembers something different. she is doing this to try to save him. but this is being twisted and reimagined so that she's selfishly replacing riku in a memory that actually exists and is precious to sora, so that riku can forever be the person sora's eyes land on. this undermines her character in service to a ship she's not even a part of.

and it undermines sora's character too! both for the reasons above and because his perspective is never actually considered in this interpretation. why would famously adventurous and enthusiastic sora, who expresses interest in going to other worlds, and who doesn't grasp most of physics or consequences until they're actually happening to him, be worried about a meteor hitting the islands in the first place, over being totally gobsmacked at the spectacle?

wouldn't it be more in character for riku to think of that?

when terra meets him on the beach in bbs, riku expresses that he wants to become stronger to protect what matters. this suggests he's been ruminating it for a while, in his serious way, and actually recognizes that there are things out there that need to be protected against (a fact sora doesn't really seem to consider until he actually leaves his island). and we know that even then riku was looking up to sora and didn't feel like he can just follow his heart the way sora does. so why would he go out on a limb, years before the beach scene on kh2 or his conversation at yen sid's with kairi, and say something so...sora-like?

wouldn't it be more in character for endlessly silly, overly confident sora to believe in his entire five-year-old heart that he can totally hit that whole-ass meteor back with his flimsy wooden sword if he really believes?

namine clearly thought so.

clearly kairi is restored to all the places she occupies in sora's memories in the end, and sora never talks about the meteor shower memory again, so just in case it's not already clear because this idea is so widespread, i am asserting that it is a headcanon that isn't directly supported by the text. but that isn't even really my concern; i have plenty of headcanons that aren't even a little bit supported by the text that i totally accept and love. if this one were designed in a way that supported, instead of tore down, the characters of sora, riku, namine, and kairi for that matter, then i would think it was a cute headcanon and probably be all for it, and this post wouldn't exist.

the issue i'm taking with it is that this notion is taking the idea of riku-as-protector and sora-as-emotionally-vulnerable-let's-just-come-out-and-say-UKE-like-it's-2005, and working backwards from that conclusion to establish what happened in canon, instead of extrapolating from canon to build out the characters as they appear there. it's my opinion that doing this actually only hurts the characters, their impact on the narrative, and the ship.

anyway, like i said. not strictly a problem, fandom gonna fandom. it just annoys me, because i'm seeing this in so many ships, so often, and i don't think people even realize they're doing it sometimes.

here's a radical thought: not every romance needs to be star-crossed and "my one true only love i would die for ahead of anyone else, who i could still be happy with if every single other person in my life were dead." sometimes relationships are intense and burn out quick and fast; sometimes they are slow and subtle and last forever; sometimes they are any combination of the above and include permutations i haven't even touched on, romantic or not; sometimes your best friend becomes your rival becomes something more that you don't know how to define, or maybe you do, but all you know for certain is that he will be at your side holding your hand as you reach out to sacrifice your own heart to save the world, never once asking you to turn your back on everyone else you love for his own sake.

so yeah. for the record i still ship soriku (among other things!) and always have. but i also recognize that sora has many other important people and relationships in his life, many of which have absolutely nothing to do with riku, and part of the reason i ship it as hard as i do is because of how much riku has grown and learned to recognize that too.

finally, if so much of the fandom feels the need to alter and reinterpret sora's other significant relationships to be about riku (to remove the "threat"), that's admitting that there isn't enough evidence already in the canon to support soriku as a ship.

and i'm sorry, but i just don't think that's true.