#WAIT SHOULD I START MAKING DIVIDERS THEYRE SO FUN TO MAKE

[vwmpiris]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Dear Angel Lacy, Eyes White As Daisies

[my-castles-crumbling]

its intrusive thoughts anon!

here to give you 11-15 yr old advice

basically, number one PLEASSSEE allow them to eat.

like if theyre hungry because most students dont have breakfast since theyre running late for school and they wait hours until break/recess to eat, which obv hinders with their learning. so like small things like a chocolate or some candies, allow them that.

next, keep an eye out for the students which take sometime to understand and dont make thme feel dumb. which ig you probably wont do and teachers arent supposed to but ive seen way too many teachers do that for it to be normal.

dont separate students from their friends even if theyre talking but are still completing their work on time.

if a student is repeatedly finishing their work early, have some kind of separate more intense activity for them or let them goof around.

the more you try to confine them, the more likely they are to act out (coming from a kid who uses to cut erasers and have eraser fights with their 4 friends after finishing work)

let the children either group themselves lr if you're going to do it, group them togetehr based on how they perform. dont create diverse groups because then youd be going back and forth alot instead of dividing your time between just a few groups of chiodren who need help.

ALWAYS BE VIGILANT!!! you turn around and theyre throwing shoes at eachother i kid you not.

also keep an eye out for children who dont have friends/are getting bullied. more often than not, you cant stop it, but just ig kinda be there for them.

last but not least give like extensions to children who need it. dont do it so often as to where they start to expect it, but do it for those who may be struggling mentally, or having trouble.

they'll appreciate you sm more

ACTUAL LASTLY, i wish i was taught by you lol but even if i could id be over the age limit🤸🤸

Hi!!! <3 I hope you're doing well!

Okay, I actually have a clarifying question about this one :D You say don't create diverse groups, right? But I feel like if I create groups based on ability, wouldn't that cause bullying if students realize they're grouped according to need? AND Wouldn't it be more fun to work with a classmate who could help you, rather than taking help from the teacher? Obviously, I don't mind doing my job (it's why I chose it lol) but I've always been under the impression that some kids prefer to ask their friends for help, rather than the teacher, because it's less...like it takes less of their independence? It's less embarrassing? Not that it should be, but I remember being in school and feeling embarrassed to ask the teacher for help.

Genuinely asking, what do you think is the better way to group as far as social ramifications? I try to be very aware about making sure kids don't feel dumb, even of they're struggling (nobody should ever feel dumb for needing help!) and I know middle school has more bullying and peer pressure than elementary school, so I don't want to add to any low self confidence.

[artificialqueens]

A Series Of Mutual Feelings, 1/3 (Scarjah) - Pazinae

chapter 1: i hate u (and the feelings mutual)

Chapter Summary: Ra'jah is determined to have a fresh start and be a better person, now enrolled as a first year fashion school student- but Scarlet has a way of always making her newfound plans falter. With a rocky high school history, the (not so) fortuitous pair endure some mutual hatred

A/N: enemies 2 luvers scarjah everyone xoxo meant to be a oneshot, but got a little carried away n my doc for this is currently 19 pages long ahaha so to be more palatable it will be a 4 chapter story (its says 3, but you'll see). this one is mainly the intro for the story to understand where they're at emotionally in the present, and is mostly ra'jah centric on her growth + kylie friendship fluff bc theyre the cutest, and a bit of scarlet pov. feedback super super welcome, enjoy !!! 

***

Scarlet strode down the hall with a sway in her hips, her heels clacking on the laminate floor. What kind of tacky ass bitch wears heels to school anyways? Ra'jah scoffed internally, watched the girl saunter like she's on a tightrope, each tantalizing step brought her foot exactly in front of the other. Her body fell into a rhythm, stomping the fucking campus like a lion stalking the jungle for the sheer fun of watching it’s prey scamper. Scarlet's bouncing skirt, her signature grin and luscious ginger curls sprouting out her scalp made her gag. And not in the stunning way. Just as quickly as she came she was gone, and, to be fair, she was just another girl sandwiched in the masses just getting to where she’s going. But she could pluck that arrogant little redhead bitch out of any crowd. Not a conscious choice of course, hell, being reminded of her sheer presence causes a battle of trying not to roll her eyes behind her skull. She can't help that she sees her. Not when Scarlet's lips are painted the same shade of bold crimson as the tight, sleeveless top she's wearing, like a fresh drop of blood in a sea of grey clad bodies swimming around in their hoodies.

This isn't high school anymore Ra'jah. A repetitive reminder that needs to be said evermore until it's understood at her core. Because It's different now, she knows that- it has to be. No fucking way are her dreams going to get caught up in everything again, they're too big to be put at stake. She can't live just to be like that again, and this time she's too grown to waste her time on useless people. High school was a bubble, a 4 year trance that she's left and is more than ready to forget about. 

"Hey, Ra'jah!" That southern, velvety voice could only belong to one stunning woman. She turned around to spot her speed walking to catch up. 

"Aye! Kylie!" Ra'jah stopped and gave a little wave as Kylie approached, her highlight shining even in the shitty indoor light. The two moved over to the side of the hall, and leaned against the wall. "If it isn't Miss Kylie Sonique Love," With such a pleasing name, Ra'jah doesn't think she will, or, really can ever get tired of saying the other girl's name. "What's up?"

"Nothin', just tired as fuck," It's kinda cute, the way her accent gets stronger when she's grumpy. "I'mma pass out at some point, I did not get enough sleep." Even as a grumble her voice is so soft and angelic, Ra'jah could probably fall asleep to the blonde reading true crime murder stories. 

"Goddamn, it sure as hell doesn't show!" Which is true, Kylie was as effervescent as always, any visible messy hair from under her beanie looked intentional. Even in her oversized t-shirt and shorts, there was an undeniable, captivating charm about her that made it impossible for her to look bad "You look gorgeous girl" 

"Awh, thanks honey," She smiles a soft, hazy smile. "You don't look too bad yourself." She hums, eyeing her up with a grin. Before she could even argue a response, the country girl quickly perks up and slaps her hand on Ra'jah's shoulder in excitement. "Oh also! I want your opinion- I'm thinking about dying my hair pink." She can see the visible sparkle in the pair of eyes looking at hers. "Thoughts?" She asks, voice becoming giddy "Oooh bitch! You better, that'd be so fierce!" The (mostly) purple haired girl exclaimed, delight evident in her voice "For real, you'd look so good. And you know, ba-BY" she claps her hands together just for added emphasis, "I support ALL the impulsive hair decisions".

"Yess, obviously I want input only from bad bitches with the best hair"

"I told you I did these myself right?" she asked, running her shoulder length hair through her twirling fingers. "I've been really into doing hair recently"

"Wait, really? It looks so pretty, the fade to purple is so good"

"What'd you mean 'wait really' hoe, what you implying 'bout my hair skills?" 

"Just that a talented woman like you should share your expertise!" Even when she was loud her voice was just as comforting, the tone reminiscent of a silk blanket on her skin

"All it took for me was bleach, a bottle of violet Arctic Fox dye, and the holy spirit of Brad Mondo"

"First of all I'm not trusting no mans named Brad," Ra'jah cackled a little because, yeah that's fair. "And secondly, if you're free, come an' help a girl out then!

"You're inviting me over? Wow we're moving kinda fast Kylie" 

"Oh shut up bitch" but the undying twinkle in her eye confirmed the unsaid agreement that Ra'jah would be doing Kylie's hair, at some point.

"I'm free on Thursday, can I visit then?"

"Yea that works" She smiled, and the closeness between the two wasn't something the taller girl ever planned, or really felt before. But she had it now, a friend she really cares about, and she never wanted to lose it.

"Shit what time is it?" Even in her Shitty Human era she was still a timely gal, her mother didn't raise no late hoe. "Don't stress it Raj, we have like 15 minutes. Introduction to drafting and sewing, right?"

"Yes ma'am. Wanna start going?" "Sure thing" This year is for a new start, making new friends, and getting a chance to create new first impressions. Rebrand herself y'know, and the hindrance that is Scarlet's existence, wrapped in all the ancient things she'd rather not think about, won't stop her.

The walk to class was a pleasant blur. With Kylie yawning and walking essentially shoulder to shoulder with Ra'jah had they been the same height, they slipped into both  comfortable conversation, and silence. With all the noise around them, their presence brought an ease without any awkwardness. 

 A trek opted through the outdoor route that was albeit a tad longer, provided some well needed greenery and fresh air.

"You excited for class?" Ra'jah asked, only half aware of where she was walking to. Her body was on autopilot, and Kylie knows the way, probably.  

"You're amazing if you can get excited by class"

"It's fun!"

"Only 'cause you're good at it"

"You're good at it"

"You know what I mean. Isn't this one your favorite?" 

"It's not my favorite" 

"Uh huh"

"I just like it a lot. Maybee essentially jus' cause I don't hafta try" It was a mandatory course, but Ra'jah's not complaining. Perhaps it's a little vain to enjoy something just to remind everyone you can do it, but it was an easy break from the rest of the courses. And a nice little egoboost.

"So I'm right!" 

"C'mon it's October and we're still on basic techniques"

"It's called introductory," She remarked. "Do you even pay attention half the time?"

"No but bitch neither do you"

"True" Kylie grinned in agreement.

"The way you're coming for me but it's easy for you too!" She hasn't been sewing as long as Ra'jah, but she has great taste so it really balanced out. "And let it be known that I use that class time to think about incredibly productive things"

"Oh that's her name?"

"What?" She didn't mean for her tone to drop. Didn't mean for her legs to stop walking, planting themselves into the cement. Didn't mean for the smile on her face to plummet at the implication. Her visceral reaction was louder than the cluelessness she gave off.  

"Calm down" She giggled, as if Ra'jah's reaction woke her up from her grogginess, her breathlessness equivalent to a shot of espresso for Kylie. "You just seem really occupied sometimes is what I meant"

"Me? No I'm not" She couldn't convince herself.

"Okay babe. The models of your fashion sketches just look a little reminiscent"  

"You know Scarlet isn't the only person with ginger hair right?" Ra'jah bites back, the condescending tone not her intention, but not exactly unwanted in the moment. Scarlet is insufferable, she doesn't want her own name slandered is all, being associated with the arrogant shit.

"Baby, I ain't mention Scarlet. That's all you.'' She had a shit eating smirk and maybe Ra'jah takes everything back about how nice friends are. IF there was inspiration, Scarlet is objectively nice looking so it's not a big deal there might be similarities if you squint.  

"She was implied" 

"If you want her to be"

They get inside and take a seat at one of the large tables, divided into stations with a sewing machine and some material at each one. Ra'jah takes a spot at the edge, with Kylie seated to her right. 

 On paper, it's all been planned out for Ra'jah; during her strolls between classes she'll take in all her surroundings and actively look for inspiration, pondering all the natural shapes and patterns of the world in a way she can manipulate into clothing. On paper, she'll make the most out of the introductory class, sketching designs between the minimal notes and sewing practices. On paper, she'll finish the mornings class with ease and have extra time to practice some new things. 

In reality? Paper is flimsy, especially when its accountability is held by a fleeting mind. It's hard to bask in the world when unwanted questions plague her head. Mostly revolving around a certain redhead. God, fuck her. Fuck her pretty eyes and fuck her sculpted face and fuck her euphonious voice. Does everyone who sees Ra'jah see her patheticness? How she allowed some cunt to infiltrate her mind, set up home in her head and take up all the space? Let her infect every cell in the brain like a parasite until her skull is nothing but an infiltrated shell for an infestation caught up with infatuation?

"Ra'jah, you good?"  The girl sat across from her, Trinity, piped up, and Ra'jah had to bite back a smile. The icy, timid girl she met just a few weeks ago was starting the conversation.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why?"

"You just looked a little spaced out" 

"Nah, it's just that this class is a breeze an' I'm just thinking about a project for another class" 

"Mmm"

"Plus it's hard to just think of designs when there's no inspiration"

"I mean, we're supposed to practice gathering and making ruffles right now"

"Oh shit! We are?"

"Yeah girl!" Ra'jah, shaking her head at herself, finally picked up some of the fabric around her and got to work. "You'll be alright?"

"Oh don't worry about me! I'm all good"

"Okayyy if you need anything just yell" Ra'jah replied with a hum and a nod. Watching the girl running the fabric under the machine, memories of the first time they'd talked flashed, days of the nearly silent girl feeling so distant.

  "I really like your earrings" The girl raised her head, looking left and right a little as if making sure it was directed at her. 

"Thanks." She mumbled, vaguely looking at Ra'jah's direction. 

"If you don't mind, where'd you get them?"

"Uh, I thrifted it."

"Oh, cool" Ra'jah smiled, before quickly adding "Thanks". The raven haired girl didn't reply. The start of the intriguing game of 'does she hate me, is she shy, or both?' 

   After all the awkward attempts made for the quiet girl to be comfortable and maybe make a friend, a sense of pride rang through her. She met Kylie and Trinity here a mere month ago, and yeah, maybe she could be nice. She could walk the fineline of warm socialization without being annoying. The new Ra'jah doesn't do unnecessary mean quips just for the sake of a little power rush. She can be authentically her while being polite. New Ra'jah makes friends- not enemies. 

"Oh by the way" Ra'jah snapped her head up at Trinity's voice 

"Yeah, what's up?"

"I know it's a little random but do you know what you're gonna be for Halloween?"

"Huh. Well, I haven't really thought about it" Ra'jah remarked, "I just don't care for Halloween and all that"

"Really? Girl, you're not gonna do anything, dress up, go out, nothing?"

"Baby all that work and money for some costume I'll wear once? No ma'am- and the fuck will I do, I barely have ideas for school!"

"Hey, you could wear anything and it's a costume. Wear a black dress, you're a cat"

"You think I'm that basic?"

"Yeah?"

 "Fuck you" She snorted, and Trinity had a goofy smile, looking at Ra'jah with a sense of familiar fondness. "And thanks, really, but I don't care for all that spooky shit anyways"

"Damn, alright!" Teeth out and all, she laughed. The blonde on the right leaned in a little, a pleasant opposition of Trinity's hesitation is Kylie's eagerness

"Jesus Ra'jah, what did Halloween do to you?" The southern girl butts in. "You could dress as the grinch of Halloween, steal children's candy" 

"You know what, yeah, I'll be a sluttified grinch"

"You're kinda built the same already" Trinity joins with a grin

"Hey!"

"Sluttified? Are you implying the grinch isn't sexy enough?" Ra'jah choked a little at that, found herself smiling with some dopey content, at what exactly she's not sure. 

"Do ya'll think being the grinch would count as like, being a furry?" Trinity asked, voice dripping in an odd amount of seriousness. 

"What? Baby no" Kylie jumped in. "Yes! absolutely, how would it NOT?" Trinity argues, and maybe it's the easiness of everything.  Of how nice it is to just fall into banter when you let people in. Bouncing off the two girls, she doesn't need to think of how to be funny, how to one up herself, remind everyone of why she's worthy. She can just, be. And that warrants a smile. 

With Ra'jah's elbow propped on the table, she rested her cheek against her palm to face forward, before turning a little to face Trinity

"But why do ya ask Trin? About Halloween"

"Oh, kinda last minute but I just want some ideas to figure mine out" She shrugs, and Kylie leans over once more. It's a little heartwarming, how physically close she always instinctively wants to be. 

"Oh! Are you going to the Halloween party this weekend?"

"Nah parties aren't really my thing"

"Awh, but it'll be fun!"

"Yeah standing in a mass of people I won't talk to will be so fun"

"Fine- Ra'jah, are you goin'?" Rajah turns her head to follow the voices like a cat keeping up with a beam of light. 

"Uh..."

"RIGHT, forgot, Halloween's not your thing". A party where she can have a disguise, let loose and have fun. It feels almost embarrassing to admit to her newfound friends that she's never been to a party, and the thought of a Halloween party didn't even cross her mind. Maybe Halloween isn't not her thing, it's just not something she'd indulge in. For reasons. Like, schoolwork. 

"Welllllll…" Ra'jah hummed, dragging on with a small grin

"OH the prospect of partying changes things huh?" 

"You know, me an' Halloween, we complicated okay!" They laugh, but Ra'jah's left thinking. New or old Ra'jah both, spends a little too much time in the internal realm of the brain. 

The class falls silent except the murmurs of the buzzing machines, and the three chatter in whispers. Although usually it's mostly her and Kylie with occasional injections of confirmation from Trinity

"You're insane if you think spaghettini is better than fettuccine" Kylie protested "Spaghettini is literally the objective worst"

"Says who?!" Ra'jah paused sewing to look up at Kylie in defiance

"Me!"

"Trinity which is better" 

"Huh? Ya'll It's too early for this." Trinity complained.

"Oh, says the bitch who asked if the grinch was a furry" Ra'jah retorted, but Trinity brushed her off to look at Kylie "Oh wait! Also, Kylie, what're you gonna be for Halloween?" She gave a little snicker before answering 

"Don't come for me but honestly? Was thinking about being a cat" 

"AAAAAH!" Ra'jah and Trinity erupted laughing.

"But like, a hot one okay!" Ra'jah quickly tried to redeem herself.

"You'll be the hottest ass cat around" Plus, worse comes to worst, Ra'jah will be a witch or something, and they can be hot and basic together. 

When the class ended, they packed their things, and exchanged their goodbyes

"I'll see y'all around!"

"See you! Good luck on your textile project Trin" 

"Thanks!" She waved, yelling a final "Bye!" 

"Bye!" The three part, and Ra'jah makes her way to her second class. History of costume and design was next, and quickly weighing it out, she decided to take a quicker path through the halls. Suddenly, the weight of a body knocked at her side, the two stumbling around for a few seconds. A gust of papers had fallen from both parties' arms, and landed on the floor.

"Oh shit! I'm so-" Scarlet cuts herself off when she looks up at whom she's bumped into.

"Maybe watch where you're going" Ra'jah snorts out of sheer instinct, squatting down to gather her papers where Scarlet follows suit, just a little too close. The vague, sweet scent of strawberries she gives off is suffocating.

"Maybe if you weren't such a stuck up cunt taking up half the hallway I wouldn't hit you" The attention sends a masochistic jolt down her spine

"Uh oh someone's in a bad mood. Stuck up cunt that's a new one! Love the creativity. You should drop out of this school and be a writer" As much as she screamed internally to just shut the fuck up and get your things, it was so easy to slip back to this.

"Thanks but I'm good! When you fail out this year you can give it a try"

"Baby, me? Fail out?" Please don't imply that. Please don't make me doubt that I can and deserve to be here. I don't want to seek approval from others, but I can't help but be hurt at disapproval. Of course, her thoughts don't verbalize as the words that come out of her mouth. "That's a lot of talk for a girl who probably spends more hours getting fucked than studying" Before she can think it through, process the flash of hurt on her face and the way her fingers tense around the last piece of paper, before Ra'jah can really understand the weight of her own words she continues. "But I guess that's how you get yo' A's right?"

Their exchanges were in aggressive whispers, hushed to anyone above them. To most people, they'd find a sight of two girls muttering to one another while they pick up some things they've dropped.

"You're so much prettier when you're quiet" Scarlet huffed, standing up in one swift motion. Those words aren't a compliment. Like, at all. So why does Ra'jah's dumb, twisted heart stop for a second? The implied connection of herself and 'pretty' slows her body and slurs her mind until she's pushing herself up off the ground in slow motion. It's been so many months of mundanity, the small interaction felt all so familiar and foreign and exciting at the same time.But the haziness of her words and their little games makes her forget for a second of what the fuck just happened, and a wave of patheticness washed over her as she started to walk, eyes focused at the cream walls. For all her hemming and hawing, Ra'jah hasn't. Fucking. Changed. 

A rush of everything dives into her guts, a sick adrenaline coated in dread, self loathing and the slight urge to cry, nestling in her stomach like a bird claiming a branch as it's home. Her skin was electric, and she hated to admit she loved it, the thrill of interacting with her, cattiness and all. Imagine feeling this much from fucking bumping into someone? Fingers clenched, nails digging in her own palms at how much she hates her. Intense emotions are a high of their own, and Ra'jah can't help but indulge. The piercing sting of her flesh being pressed in with her nails is intensified as she listens for the faint voice of that lanky girl always accompanying Scarlet. 

"You good Scarlet?"

"Yeah, thanks" She can't look back, but she can't help but wonder- are they hugging? Holding hands? It doesn't- it shouldn't matter to her. The fun amusement pales in comparison to the misery settling in. The realization that she's fighting with Scarlet like they're 16 at the back of English class.

Of all the schools, why'd that girl have to come here? Of all the things to pursue, why the same as herself? Of all the people, why'd it have to be her? Ra'jah didn't have the audacity to explore the last question. What she means, she's not too sure. The only thing in the world she's sure of is that she can't be both New Ra'jah™ and Old Ra'jah™ to different people. The line between the two existences isn't so bold anymore, and painting over the bumps isn't as effective as she'd hoped. 

  ***

  Truth be told, watching herself move around in skirts was one of her favorite things- just about tied with watching others watch her. Maybe that's why she joined cheer in highschool. Especially with the support from (or, lack of thereof) a certain grimacing purple haired girl, a runaway model from a fashion show who wound up wandering this school. She never needed to turn and look, didn't need sight to know there's a burn at her back, nor who it's radiating from. Scarlet always walked with just a bit of a straighter back, just a bit more purpose, and just a bit more stride in her step when her favorite pair of wandering eyes were around. A small part of her always wants to turn around, catch her gaze and watch her frantically look away and pretend she's talking to someone. Or maybe she'll hold it, stare back with just as much intensity. But her wistful attention is enough of an ego boost. The scowl ridden bitch, smile washed away just for her, and yet that's where her attention lied. It made her bite back a smile. 

Scarlet is a pretty thing, and she didn't need constant confirmation to remind her that she's beautiful. She's hot, she knows it, Ra'jah knows it, and Scarlet knows that's all she is to her. A pretty thing. Whatever. She's not important. 

In fear of her brain melting, and/or being fried to a crisp, Scarlet doesn't bother having two classes back to back. Her mental capacity is full, and a nice salad will probably help with that. She's on her way to meet with Yvie for lunch, thinking about their weekend plans, when she takes a misstep and stumbles, all her weight focused in her shoulder which slams against someone else's side.

"Oh shit! I'm so-" the universe is an asshole. May the odds never be in my favor. 

"Maybe watch where you're going" Her sneer is venomous, and the universe has suddenly become just the second biggest asshole. 

"Maybe if you weren't such a stuck up cunt taking up half the hallway I wouldn't hit you" Ra'jah didn't do anything, a rational voice lectures, but she ignores it the way she's ignoring the taller girls face. Scarlet's grabbing at her papers, avoiding eye contact because that selfish pile of shit on her right takes up enough space as is, and if she looks into her eyes, sees that stupid fucking face this close she might do something bad. Like, in the sense of, punching her. Yeah, she can't look at her or she'll beat her up. Because that's a fight she'd win.  

"Uh oh someone's in a bad mood. Stuck up cunt that's a new one! Love the creativity. You should drop out of this school and be a writer" Ra'jah snides, and she needs to drop out before Scarlet gets grey hair from her. 

"Thanks but I'm good! When you fail out this year you can give it a try" Her words are about as empty as her own stomach, because she hasn't eaten since last night, and Ra'jah will quit fashion school and become a science engineer before she fails out. 

"Baby, me? Fail out?" Yeah, with the flawless outfit you're wearing that you sure as hell made just because you were bored one night. Your pants could literally be sold as a luxury brand. The girl who started sewing when she a embryo in the womb, you'll fucking fail out.  "That's a lot of talk for a girl who probably spends more hours getting fucked than studying- But I guess that's how you get yo' A's right?" Scarlet looks up, not at Ra'jah but away from the ground, and the urge to yell, hit her, and cry come up at the same time. She wants to scream, get everyone in hearing range to know that Ra'jah is a loser who will amount to nothing. She wants to reach out and choke her. But articulating her anger into words is too much, and she ends up just whispering whatever words are willing to come out as she gets up, not caring if she left any papers behind. 

"You're so much prettier when you're quiet" And that's the closest thing to honest Scarlet's said all day. 

In the distance, she sees Yvie walking towards her, so she waits until the freshly dyed green haired girl is caught up beside her. 

"You good Scarlet?" 

"Yeah, thanks" The two walk together, side by side, and Scarlet loops her arm through Yvie's, linking the pair. 

"You know, Scarlie, you should stop wearing heels before you break your ankles"

"Hey!" She giggled, slapping the taller girl's arm in response. "I never fall, people just get in my way" Yvie scoffs, unable to stop the corners of her lips turning up and giving her away, forever endeared by the shorter girl. Scarlet's affection makes her forget that they've only known each other for a month. They reach a set of blue doors, and Yvie opens it, holding it for Scarlet to come through. Her face seems puzzled 

"Are you down to go to Mika's Cafe? I want to get some coffee" 

"Sure, they have nice breakfast sandwiches and omelettes, I'm down" It's only a few minutes away from campus 

"What's on your mind"

"Just like, school stuff. I have to make a dress for creative fashion design, and I'm just thinking about it, and what I wanna do" Would it be tmi to blurt that Ra'jah is insufferable? 

"Cool," Yvie hummed, and spiteful words cycled through Scarlet's head, deciding on what exactly to say, before Yvie beats her to it, whipping her head in some seeming urgency

 "OH by the way, I know you're busy with your project and you're determined on getting in the top 5 and all," 

"Uh huh" 

"Buuuuut, there's a Halloween party this weekend, and I was gonna go with Brooke and her friends but they're not going anymore," Scarlet knows how Yvie feels about Brooke, and to be fair she's only met her a few times in passing, but how someone like Yvie could fall for someone as uptight as the boring blonde is beyond her. She doesn't dare bring up another possibility of why her dorm mate would be avoiding the stoic girl, a possibility involving a particularly hot headed latina glued to the Canadians side. "They decided clubbing downtown would be more fun or whatever," They're outside on the pavement now, and the afternoon breeze graces their skin. It's a welcome environment, and Scarlet slows down her pace to enjoy the air, with Yvie quickly matching her pace. 

"Wouldn't you rather go clubbing though? Like not with Brooke and them but with others," Scarlet is friendly and all, but she swears Yvie is somehow friends with half the school. She sure as hell can find a group to go with.

"I guess, but I want to go to the party," she quiets a little as she continues, "There are some people I want to see there, for fun and stuff"

"Mmmm!" Scarlet widens her eyes, looking at the taller girl with a knowing glare, sprinkled with a teeny bit of judgement. 

"It's kinda lame to go there alone!" 

"No it's not!" 

"Scarls, yeah it is"

"Why do you even care? Wanna impress some girls?" In response, Yvie rolled her eyes so hard Scarlet could practically feel it. 

"'Cause you want me to go to a fun Halloween party by myself? 

"Yes! You could walk up to anyone and there's like an 80% chance you already know them, and a 100% chance you'll become friends anyways" The quirky girl's charm is undeniable, she'll be fine without Scarlet. Yvie gives a defeated sigh

"Seems kinda homophobic" 

"Ugh you know what's actually homophobic? The fact that more people aren't madly in love with me. I'm LITERALLY perfect" The prospect of love feels like it's been dangled infront of her, her whole life. Imagine looking like Scarlet, and never dated before?

"You're right girl, you are" Yvie laughed her deep, hearty cackle and Scarlet wanted to melt a little. 

"Thank you, finally someone with taste" Looking at her outfit, she remembers that the tall girl's taste is kind of debatable, and Scarlet almost wants to say she takes it back

"You think Ra'jah has good taste then?" 

"What?" 

"Also a party seems like the best way to meet more people y'know?" She brushes over her last question, and it's much better that way.

"You know what, whatever 'll go with you" Scarlet agrees so she'll shut up. If she hears her roommate bring up she-who-shall-not-be-named-because-shes-a-stick-in-the-ass anymore she might lose her mind. And, she really doesn't have any other plans for the night so might as well.

 ***

AN: going to be a while for the next chapter bc im busy so here's a lil thing lol xo

***

They weren't supposed to meet here. Weren't supposed to see each other. At least, that's what Scarlet tries to tell herself.

"You are such a fucking pain, oh my god" Scarlet seethed because everything is hazy except the impassive girl standing before her and she can't think straight. Her cold eyes are apathetic and Scarlet wants to implode, like a glass thermostat engulfed in a burning heat where it's not a question of if, but an inevitable when? "Maybe I am arrogant" Her voice was coated in a sickly sweet frustration. She pushed further into Ra'jah's space, the taller girl stiffening at the ever decreasing space between the two. How can she be so still, so unreactive? This is all so amusing to her? Is she having fun, so fucking detached from everything and watching Scarlet crumble? Pretending like she cares about Scarlet past her pretty face? Enjoying her sadistic game? Fuck her, fuck her, fuck her. 

"Maybe I am narcissistic" Their faces were inches apart, and Ra'jah could feel the angry womans hot breathe on her cheek, the pungent smell of alcohol intruding her nose.

"But I'd rather be a confident, arrogant narcissist than whatever kind of sad fuck you are" 

Scarlet growled, and she wanted to breathe fire, burn Ra'jah's existence out of her mind and scream at everything she felt because of her. Except that she sees her, and wants her, wants to hurt her and touch her and without thinking her hands are digging around Ra'jah's waist.

"You are such-" Scarlet was interrupted as the other girl leaned in, framed the shorter girl's face with both her hands, and pressed her lips against Scarlets. Any thoughts or mental functionality she had were put to an abrupt stop. This wasn't supposed to happen. It's been so long, but no time has passed since they were last like this. The plug to her brain was pulled, and it's all static and her bodys done a full 180. Ra'jah's piercing lips are numbing, and her overheated body feels like it's been dunked in ice where all her nerves are all in shock. They weren't supposed to do this anymore, it's the only thing they've ever been able to agree on. She was frozen, unable to move, or think, far too busy being hyper focused on the familiar sugary lips on hers, sending waves of nostalgia through her body. Time has only heighted the intoxication. She gains some composure and surges forward, but Ra'jah's pulling away, opening her mouth to finally say something.

"You're so much prettier when you're quiet"

[anakinthetrashking]

Ok, so you reblogged my post about bnha fic recs and I also looked through the ones you linked and I LOVED THEM. If its alright to ask, would you happen to have more Protective Aizawa or possibly Dadmic or Protective Present Mic? Also Protective Midnight or Momnight? Only if you have! Thanks! -bnhastanning

I somehow stupidly lost my reply to this ask, not once, but TWICE. at the end, when i was almost done. im so sorry but this will be the crappiest version yet... (also! hello, fellow batfam fan... *spiderman pointing meme*)

I read a lot of fic and i loooooove sharing them with people, so thanks for giving me an excuse to do this!! :D

lots of fics, so im putting them under the read more! One of these days I’ll get around to making more organized fic rec posts...

Dadmic: only a couple, and tbh i think they have more dadzawa in them?? Secondary Colors by NaoNazo

"You got pushed down the stairs... and you're apologizing for it," he stated blandly. "That seems counterintuitive." "Um... sorry?" Izuku whispered. He was starting to shake a little, adrenaline flooding his veins and leaving him cold. He had no idea what Purple was going for with his blunt statements and the hand reaching toward his shoulder as if to steady him, but apologizing was generally safe. "You don't have to apologize, dude. I don't know your name, but I doubt it's actually Deku." "Um. Midoriya." Izuku peered sideways at Purple as they rounded the corner. "Izuku Midoriya. Deku is just, um, just what my... friends call me." He winced. "Sounds real friendly."

and Cat Days by Griffinrose

Izuku has a shapeshifting quirk. He's not the best at controlling it, especially under stress. So when tragedy strikes and he gets lost in the city, he's stuck as a cat. At least he found a nice underground hero to take him in?

Pied Piper by Blackholeca has some really great concerned Dadmic in recent chapters!!

If they wouldn’t give him a chance then the solution seemed simple, he’d give himself one. He’d force the world to see him, force them to recognize his hard work. He wasn’t missing a quirk, it was simply that everyone else had been given an advantage. He wasn’t broken, or useless, or incapable, and he’d prove it by outrunning all of them, he who was quirkless, he who had started in last.

As for momnight, there are also only a couple, and im also not caught up with these either. i have a little bit more of an excuse with these, as Indefinite by OwlF45 is really REALLY long, as well as intense. Worth the read though! I just gotta catch up! So much mindblowing stuff in that, and the Momnight is really sweet.

It comes with the package deal of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Midoriya gets another chance at life, but he must throw it away when that dreaded day comes. After all, a life for nineteen is more than a fair trade.

Or: the world will rise or fall, and it depends on one boy protecting Class 1-A to prevent the inevitable.

The other Momnight one I have is A Single Reason by TheDeepSeaWitch. Also really good, but really intense and I’ve had to take a break because I was getting a bit depressed, whoops. But I liked it!

Training begins the next day, and doesn’t stop for any reason. They wait for heroes, then for police, then for anyone to save them, but nobody comes.

It’s only a month before Izuku forgets their names. It’s a year before he forgets his own.

It’s only a chance meeting with an impassioned soul eight long, painful years later that saves them.

---------------------------------

They thought they were lost forever, that there was no future out there for them with their scars so visible and the blood on their hands still pungent and red. But if they have the strength to try, then perhaps, one day, they may yet find their forgiveness, and rediscover themselves along the way.

The Reforming Villains AU nobody asked for.

For Dadzawa:

Flare Signal by achievingelsium, of course! Annie writes some of my absolute fav dadzawa content, so definitely check it out!!

AU. Midoriya Izuku shouldn't be surprised he ended up like this: hiding the secret of One for All from his own father, the notorious villain Dragon. The path to being a hero is a hard one.

Or; Izuku is an aspiring hero forced to work for his father’s villain organization. Then he runs into All Might.

Izuku Ya’broker by Dreamillusions, is a fic i loved a LOT.

Perhaps you should actually listen to the news every once in a while, so you wouldn't end up in these kinds of situations. What kinds of situations? Glad you asked. Look at Izuku, for example. You would think Izuku would be at home after school, safe and sound from anyone attempting to, you know, kill him. But no, Izuku decided to roam around. Because of a bet. This is the kind of a situation you shouldn't end up in. Don't be Izuku.

Butterfly by aconstantstateofbladerunner, is rightfully popular! It has some horror/suspense themes though, so if thats not your style, try one of Blade’s other fics!! She’s a seriously good writer.

The first over-night trip off campus since the training camp was supposed to be a fun break from more intense work back home.  But between a bleak introduction to chaos theory, a chilly reception from the locals, and the looming threat of a villain attack, Izuku has too much on his mind to properly enjoy the fresh air.  But those worries are a light breeze compared to the hurricane that accompanies what he finds on the outskirts of town.

Or rather, what finds him.

A House Divided Against Itself by BeyondTheClouds777, another one of my fav fics by a great writer!

"Become a villain," they said.

“I’ll be a villain,” he said.

He lied. He’s only there so he can tear apart the League of Villains from the inside out.

The scars we carry by Banana_Ink is a great AU with plenty of Dadzawa

Aizawa rescued Izuku from the league of villains and takes care of the child for now. Izuku has two quirks in this AU, one natural - Forced Quirk Activation - and one that AFO 'gifted' him with - Self-Heal. He has a pretty big handprint-scar on his face and started as a problem child, scared and wary of people. But Aizawa managed to help him slowly heal.

This AU is just some silly little thing I came up in my freetime and like to add to it as I go, so I don't have a plan at all. Mostly I write for fun so I hope you might enjoy this as well :D

Ticked Off by Xenolis is a fic that I just want to rec all the time,,, for some reason...

~ ON HIATUS/OCCASIONAL UPDATES ~ Midoriya Izuku attracted trouble. It was just a fact of life – the sky was blue, the grass was green, and Izuku constantly found himself in an absurd number of deadly situations. He was okay with that. Mortal peril was an average Tuesday afternoon for a Pro Hero like him. Being kidnapped was practically a holiday. Saving civilians as a building collapsed around him was easier than facing his worried mum afterwards. He had dealt with All Might's disappointed dad stare and only cried for two hours afterwards. A serial killing villain with an unknown Quirk would be no problem! ..but even Izuku had to admit that being sent back in time to his first day at UA wasn't on the agenda. Still, there was no-one more spitefully determined than him – he was going to make the most of it. Yeah, good luck, heroes and villains alike! Deku was here to cause mischief and love his friends!

Toward A Bright Future by LazyRainDancer holds a special, soft place in my heart. I always want to go reread it after watching the show and I always want to rewatch the show after reading it. it never ends

You wake up at UA, the highest ranked hero school in the country, with no recollection of how you got there. Unfortunately, those aren't the only memories you're missing. Still, you can't let a little amnesia get in the way of you warning the school about the attack you know will happen during Class 1-A's field trip to the USJ. After you deliver your warning, you're beyond shocked when the principal offers you a position as a TA for Class 1-A. You accept the position in hopes that you'll be able to use your Quirk to help protect the students. It'll be far from easy, but you're determined to do whatever it takes to change the students' future for the better.

The rest don’t really have Dadzawa? But theyre really good so I had to rec them anyway

once forgotten, twice removed by blueh, good writer for multiple fandoms

“Yes,” All for One agreed. “This will be the final resting place of All Might.” “You,” Midoriya Izuku said and paused, thinking over the words. He sounded taken aback. “You want me to help fight All Might.” “Of course,” All for One nodded along. “I can offer you double of whatever my counterpart is paying you currently, along with anything your little heart could desire. Of course, you would get to help out drastically—" “Did you happen to check what world you were pulling me out of when you did this?” Midoriya Izuku interrupted and it was said in such an incredulous tone that had the situation not been as critical as it was, All Might would have laughed. Also known as: number one hero Deku has been through a lot of things, but being thrust into an alternate reality where he’s All for One’s Successor is a first.  He has to navigate this world when his alternate self is a villain dead-set on killing him and all of this version of class 1-A. All the while, his friends search desperately for a way to get him back.

Office Space by Caelismylife quirkless izuku gets a job at UA analyzing quirks, HECK YES

It took a little time, but he eventually found himself with a job at UA. The revolving door of heroes was not in the contract.

To Repair with Gold by TitleUnwanted FEEEEELS

AU. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me, biggest lie in the world. Tattoos, which appeared when quirks did, are when a person feels an impact on something they are told and it becomes inked on their body, the closer they show to your heart the deeper the impact it has on the person.

For Izuku this is a blessing and a curse.

An Accident at Workstudy by Galactic_Jax been enjoying this one!

Izuku is working hard to prove himself at his work study, but it's hard when Sir Nighteye has made it clear he's not wanted. But what happens when Izuku is caught in a villain attack on his way to the agency? Will a few revelations about his most recent intern's past be enough for Sir Nighteye to change his mind about All Might's successor?

Nice to Meet You? by Allwalkfree didn’t know i needed this until i read it           

Kirishima introduces Bakugou to his favorite senpai. In which over several encounters Bakugou and Amajiki learn to become tentative friends.

A Study in Firsts by Oceanbreeze7 dorm shenanigans AND feels

There’s a first time for everything. The first time everyone crammed in Momo’s room to study, a mess of limbs and books on her bed. The first time Mina burned crepes so badly the smoke alarm went off. The first time a jumpscare got Sero so badly, he flipped off the back of the couch. The first time Uraraka fell asleep at the table and accidentally sent it floating. The first time someone realized Todoroki walked far too quietly, and far too cautiously around the dorms to be normal. The first time Midoriya broke his toe on a door frame and kept walking through it. The first time Kirishima woke up screaming through the walls. The first time Tsuyu blanched at the sight of a needle. The first time Bakugo dropped, clutching the back of his neck with eyes scarily vacant and detonating everything around him until Aizawa had to intervene. It wasn’t always pretty, but the dorms were filled with firsts.

Hero Class Civil Warfare by Roguedruid extremely satisfying to read

Heroes lead by Bakugo. Villains lead by Midoriya. Seven days prep time. Three days for Izuku Midoriya to show why they should be glad he's not a real villain.

A Fleeting Smile by AnonymousTwit good bakugou content

Or a collection of fifteen Bakusquad one shots where someone outside of the Bakusquad catches a rare glimpse of a friendlier side of Bakugou Katsuki, and one time that is specifically reserved for the four people that he hates the least.

Hope this gives you something to work with!!! I have more(and am always adding) in my bookmarks on AO3, but this should be a good start! Hopefully you’ll find at least one that you love! have a great day!!!! -Ani <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

[mousehole5000]

okay im rewriting tgcf (only in my head im lazy) here are my notes on hua/lian specifically this is long bc fuck it. major spoilers obviously and same trigger warnings as the content of the book

disclaimer disclaimer disclaimer that i dont know anything about the cultural background of anything in tgcf or story tropes etc etc this is just I Think It Would Be Neat If..

there’s not really any reason to keep hc as a kid in the backstory BUT in the story in the intro (which i like narratively) it still says that it was a child who xie lian caught. it’s one of those things that got added to the legend to make xie lian seem even more noble, there are also probably a few other inaccuracies in the intro that get found out as the story progresses. in actuality hc was kind of a known troublemaker to the city guards or whatever or had been in the past. maybe his mother just passed after a long illness and his tumble off the wall was intentional. either way he’s kind of pissed at xie lian for saving him. xie lian is concerned about his health so he has to stay at the palace for a while he recovers and only interacts with xie lian a few times. there is a point where he says out loud all the things about the divide between the rich and the poor that have been illustrated by the scenes with mu qing. feng xin tells him to shut up but mq goes dead silent bc he kind of agrees but can’t say and does have his loyalty to xie lian (its a whole thing) and the resentment begins

also i think young hc’s personality is similar to his personality in the present but a bit more reserved and he’s got like this plucky streak or something. also he is unquestionably gay

anyway hc sneaks out of the palace and xie lian catches him obviously but they have a brief little heart to heart where xie lian is like “look you can go if you want here take this money food” etc and demonstrates that he has actually listened to what hc has to say and hc is like “wow no one other than my mom has ever listened to me in my life so thats what that feels like i kind of like it” and he probably is a bit awestruck by xie lian in different ways and after that is like “okay this kingdom sucks but.. that guys not so bad”

sad ironic sense that if xie lian hadnt ascended until he was older he may have actually be able to do something about the problems in the kindgom but alas we have a cycle to perpetuate

the “take me as the meaning of your life” scene still happens p much the same but xl doesnt recognize hc who is actually now at his lowest point. hc tried to find ways to make things better for people like him but he simply did not succeed (maybe his were efforts quashed by the corrupt authorities? its implied probably) and he’s more disillusioned with the kingdom and life than ever but still is holding on to those memories of xie lian as proof that it doesnt have to be like this but that thread is slipping until!! whose fucking voice is that??? thats right its the one person you ever believed was truly good and went and proved you right by ascending to the heavens at age 17!!! guess its time to stan him forever

anyway hc joins the army but legally or whatever and tbh i would have hated the flower cave scene regardless of anything i just hate any sort of s*x pollen trope or anything so thats gone (they can have a wound tending scene or something tho thats the good shit) and instead we have HL getting overwhelmed by some other demons or something together and xie lian protects hc and they both get injured very badly (maybe hc would lose a limb but im not sure how that would work once hes a ghost so thats on hold for now until i figure it out) and xl is fine but this situation ends up being part of why mq kicks hc out of the army but yes hc still ends up dying on the battlefield anyway </3

the wuming stuff is the same i think but also at some point xl is despairing and says something about that guy he saved from falling and wonders what happened to him and fire ghost wuming is like !!!!! (wait does this happen in canon? honestly it should)

in mount tong’lu i was tempted to actually have hc have a similar moment to the bamboo hat scene with the humans who are trapped in there but im not sure if i just want it to be the same as xie lian’s story... also i like the idea of hc needing to hang onto his devotion to get through his first few centuries of being a ghost so maybe he’s just inspired by xie lian’s sacrifice with the sword and the souls and thats why he claws his own eye out as a sacrifice

so this can go one of two ways from here!!! both are me projecting hardcore so take them with a grain of salt im not saying im right about the way relationships should be these a re just my thoughts <3

1. (the not fun one but it still has a happy ending) the story more or less continues the same as canon. pure and simple devotion is what carries hc through the centuries. we get to see some ghost city antics and its fun but there is nothing complicated about the devotion hc just wants to find xl and protect him. hualian eventually meet. they get along pretty well!! eventually there are cracks. when you hold someone in your mind for so long you have expectations for them that no person can meet consistently. hc thinks that since he’s seen xl during the worst time in his life that he can handle anything but it turns out that as amazing as xl is, he is also just a person and sometimes he is wrong or irrational or annoying. xl is so happy to have someone who will listen to him talk that he kind of neglects to really get to know who hc is as a person and hc is kind of like “huh i didnt expect this but im kind of hurt. i genuinely thought that i just wanted to serve and protect you but actually im my own person and this is weird” but he doesnt say anything he thinks he has to stick to his promise and it gets kind of uncomfortable!! maybe his luck goes haywire bc his faith gets rocked for the first time ever and they end up having to talk it out but their relationship is stronger for it <3

2. (i think this one is fun) hc struggles with waiting. he does it but its hard. he has doubts and when all his efforts to find xl are fruitless he starts to grow bitter and curses the day that xl saved him. his faith burns low but doesnt go out. then ghost city!! hc realizes that he can finally help people like him, even if theyre ghosts now and hes grateful for the chance to do this and grateful to xl and resigns himself to waiting. but its still hard!! he realizes that his luck is tied to his devotion and gets kind of pissed about it!!! he tries to remember all the good things about xl but its hard!!! his search becomes more about repaying a debt so he can be free than anything else, he just wants to help the common people spirits with no strings attached (this actually allows him to keep his luck bc he has the same wish as xl and thats what makes him a true believer!! is this corny? does it make sense? i dont care) and so eventually when he finds xl he’s like okay how quickly can i repay this debt/how can i keep my powers but then xie lian is... so good... and hc actually really likes him he remembers why he swore his devotion in the first place. now hes conflicted!!! dont worry they fall in love tho <3

wow this was really long if you read this hiiiii. anyway when i reread ill try to pay more attention to yin yu and he xuan for hc’s 800 years. hua cheng we’re gonna get you some friends and lore i swear to god

[mistymark]

the one with no curtains [2] [fluff ver.] // m.k.l

mark lee x reader // university!au // 4.0k // masterlist

summary; in which mark lives opposite y/n and doesn’t seem to own curtains

requested; sorta

warnings; it gets a little saucy? *not smutty*

notes; unedited I literally just wrote this in a few hours so I hope y'all like it :)) part one is here, and this is a separate story to the angst ver. like theyre happening simultaneously not one after the other. though, if you read the angst ver you might be familiar with a few of these scenes :))))

You continued on with your day, relying on your coffee date with Mark to get you through the day. The excitement building in your stomach as you finished your last class of the day almost hit a breaking point as you rushed from the room, eager to find your friend.

She was waiting for you outside the library, books in hand as she looked down at her phone. You called to her, grinning and waving from the top of the staircase that led to the grand building. “Y/n!” She smiled at you, attempting to give you a hug as she wrestled with the many textbooks in her hand. “Sorry, I just grabbed my new textbooks from the office and they’re so heavy. Come here.” She held her arm out to you. You opened your mouth to offer her some help with the stack of books but someone beat you to it.

“I’ll grab those,” a hand swooped underneath her arm to grab the textbooks from her hands, and you looked up to see a rather tall guy smiling widely at your friend. “Hi.”

The look of surprise that flickered across her face dropped as she returned his smile, “Hi, what are you doing here? Our date isn’t for another, like, hour.”

“I know, I just wanted to come see you,” he shrugged, cradling her new textbooks in his arms, his laptop bag slung across his body. “Plus, you should be glad I’m here; these are heavy.”

“I could have managed.”

The boy tore his glance from her and looked at you, “Oh, hi. I don’t think we’ve met; I’m Johnny.” He attempted to hold out a hand to you, but thought better of it when he almost dropped all of the books in his hands. He gave you an apologetic grin and you chuckled.

“I figured,” you laughed. “It’s nice to meet you, Johnny. I’m Y/n.”

You watched his eyes widen slightly, before the easy smile made its way back onto his face. He nodded, turning to his girlfriend, “Are we heading back to your place?”

She nodded and, rolling her eyes, grabbed two textbooks from the pile in his hands, “Yeah, but tell me if they’re too heavy, okay? We can switch.”

Your friend’s relationship with Johnny was so adorable, you loved hanging out with them. They agreed to walk back to your apartment building – so he could help her with her books – then split off to get ready for their date. You heard Johnny groan jokingly at the weight of her books, but veer away from your friend’s attempt to grab another from the pile to lighten the load. As you walked beside them, you couldn’t help but wish for the same thing; a fun, adorable relationship. With Mark, a part of your brain thought.

You pushed the thought away, instead opting to tease your friend about a funny story she was telling. Part of you was nervous for your coffee date with Mark, which was bizarre as you frequently went out for coffee at this time.

After mentioning the restaurant Johnny was taking her, you found yourself thinking back to Mark again, and shook your head.

“What about you, Y/n? Any plans for tonight?” Johnny looked sideways at you, an eyebrow raised in question.

“Oh, yeah, sort of. One of my friends and I are going out for coffee later, but other than that I’ll probably just study,” you smiled at him.

You watched his smile grow wider and his eyes lit up, “Oh, cool. Bit late for coffee, don’t you think?”

“It’s a tradition, I guess,” you shrugged, hoping that your blush wouldn’t give away how much you were looking forward to tonight.

“It’ll help her get through the hours of study we all do at 1am,” your friend added, bumping her shoulder into Johnny’s, his much taller frame barely moving as you walked. She shot him a pointed look at him.

He opened his mouth in faux shock, “What? I’m a superior being whose brain works at its optimum in the early hours of the morning.”

You laughed, “Amen to that.”

“So things with Johnny seem to be going pretty well, huh?” You quirked an eyebrow at your friend once you were safely in her room. Johnny had divided the remaining textbooks equally between you two in the elevator, opting to get off at the floor below yours with a quick kiss to her cheek.

“Yeah,” you watched her smooth out her dress with a subtle smile on her face from her bed. “Y/n, oh my God, he’s amazing. I really think he’s the one for me.”

You groaned and threw a pillow at her, “Ughhhhhhh! Mom! Gross!”

She laughed and sat down beside you on her bed, wrestling another pillow from your grasp, “I’m not your mom, child.” She looked at her hands, fiddling with the small ring on her middle finger, “I’m serious, though. I really love him. I kind of want to-“

You sat up quickly with wide eyes, “You want to marry him?”

She searched your face and looked down at her hand again before meeting your eyes again, a smile on her face. “Yeah, I really do.”

You hugged her, “I hope you do marry him.”

She sighed and looked at you, “What about you? How are things with Mark?”

“Good, we’re going out for coffee in a bit,” you avoided her gaze, shy about your feelings for the boy with no curtains.

She excitedly grabbed your hand, “Oh my God, what are you wearing?”

You shrugged, “I don’t know yet.”

Your friend leapt up and moved to her door, “Come on, I’ve got time before Johnny comes back.”

“You look perfect,” she assured you, gripping your arm comfortingly. “I can’t believe you never wear this coat; it’s gorgeous.”

You glanced down at the red material, hugging it tighter around your body. You tapped your shoe against the ground. “Are heels too fancy?”

She assured you no, then checked the time on her phone, “I should probably get going.” She pouted and hugged you, before closing the door behind her.

You busied yourself with cleaning up your apartment a little, pulling the curtains back to let in some natural light. You felt yourself inhale sharply as you were surprised with Mark standing in his window, too. You made eye contact and smiled, waving.

His eyes were wide, and he held up a finger, signalling for you to wait one moment. He disappeared into the darker part of his apartment, returning with a piece of notebook paper and a sharpie. He scrawled a message on the paper then flipped it over for you to see. Wow.

You blushed, a small grin making its way onto your face. He smiled back at you and you could feel your heart hammering in your chest. Did he have to be so gorgeous? He held up his pointer finger towards the sky, twirling it in a circle.

You laughed at his awestruck expression and twirled childishly, putting your hands on your hips when you were done. You held your hands out, palms up. Well?

He flipped the piece of paper around in his hand wrote something else. WOW.

You giggled nervously and hid your face with your hands in embarrassment.

A new piece of paper was placed in view; ready to go?

You raised your eyebrows and grabbed a pen to write a message back; I thought we were leaving at 7?

He nodded to himself as he leant against the window to write on the back of his sheet. When he stepped back, he flipped it over, a smirk tugging at the left side of his mouth. I don’t wanna wait.

You nodded, grabbing your purse and heading towards your door. When you looked out your window as you shut the door, only the sight of a setting sun met your eyes.

“Ready?” He was sitting in one of the few misshapen chairs in the lobby and you wondered how he beat you to the ground floor. Must’ve taken the stairs, you thought.

“Someone’s eager,” you commented, a small smile tugging at your lips as you reached out your hand for him to grab. When he slid his hand in yours, you pulled him up from the chair and started heading for the door.

“How was your day?” He asked, his voice quiet. Shy.

For some reason, the question flustered you. Suddenly you couldn’t remember anything that happened that day. “Uh, it was alright,” you said, staring at the brightly coloured clouds in front of you. “Oh, I met Johnny today. You know, my friend’s boyfriend?”

He glanced at you, “That’s nice. How’re they going?”

“Hopelessly in love,” you sighed with a giggle. You shook your head, “They’re really happy.”

“I know the feeling,” Mark mumbled.

“Hmm?” You said, turning slightly as you walked so you faced him. You had used him to turn mid-step and it was at this point that you realised you hadn’t stopped holding hands. Your mouth suddenly went dry as you stopped walking, you gaze fixated on his hand in yours.

“What?” He looked at you, an amused smile on his face. He stopped beside you and followed your eyes to what you were looking at. “You only just noticed I’ve been holding your hand this whole time?”

You nodded, your lips quirking up at his more confident demeanour.

When you didn’t say anything, he suddenly became nervous, “Do- do you want me to let go?”

“Oh! No, no, no,” you looked away from him, attempting to hide the impending blush on your face. “I like it.”

You didn’t have to look at his face to know he was smiling. You could hear it in his voice. “Okay, good.”

When you got to the café, you both simultaneously sighed, “Oh, God. Denise is working, again” before looking at each other with a shocked expression and then laughing far too loud for the staff’s liking.

Since you had sat down – in the same booth as your very first time visiting the café with him – he hadn’t let go of your hand, instead opting to hold it on top of the table. While he was reading the menu, his thumb had been softly rubbing circles on the back of your hand, and when we wanted your attention to point out something new on the menu (despite the fact that you ordered the same thing every time you went in), he squeezed it.

Both of you had rosy cheeks, but you blamed it on the cold weather. Your ordered your usuals.

“Y/n.”

“Mark,” you stated back, eyes still scanning the menu, despite having ordered already.

“Y/n,” he squeezed your hand in his and you looked up at him, shutting your menu. “I want to talk to you about something.”

You tried to hide the panic on your face with a forced smile, “Oh, God, you’re not breaking up with me are you?”

He laughed half-heartedly, “Well, actually…”

He trailed off and you gasped in mock surprise, and you both giggled.

“What I was going to say,” he shot you a pointed look for interrupting him, “was that, uh, I really like-”

“Bagel and sandwich?” Denise arrived with a black tray, setting a bagel and coffee down in front of you and a sandwich and tea in front of Mark. You thanked her but she stood there expectantly as you made awkward eye contact with Mark, trying to give a hint that she could leave you alone now.

“Enjoy your meals, kids!” She chirped happily, spinning on her heel to go harass another table.

You and Mark stared wide-eyed at each other before bursting out into fits of giggles at her erratic behaviour.

“Go on,” you said, picking up your spoon and waving it at him before stirring your coffee mindlessly.

He cleared his throat. Nothing came out. You stared at him expectantly, until; “I really like bagels,” he said, staring at your plate.

You quirked an eyebrow at him. This is what he wanted to talk about?

“And I’m thinking about ordering bagels, and I know how I feel about the bagels,” he flicked his eyes up to meet yours, “but I don’t know how bagels feel about me.”

Your mouth popped open to form a small ‘o’ but you quickly gathered yourself. This was not about bagels. “Well,” you glanced down at the bagel on your plate, trying to hide the smile on your face. “I think bagels would like you, too. I think you should just go over to the cabinet over there-” You pointed at the cabinet by the register, where the remaining sandwiches and bagels were held – “and tell the bagels how you feel.”

His held your gaze for a moment, his smile stretching wider on his face. He suddenly stood up and you watched in confusion as he walked to the sandwich cabinet in the café, turning around to nod at you briefly before he faced the display, “Bagels, I really like you. Like, really like you. I hope you like me. And, Y/n,” he turned away from the two remaining bagels sitting in the glass cabinet, “I really hope you like me, too.”

The other students in the café furrowed their brows at him, before looking back at their phones, laptops or papers. You stood up, the red on your face getting deeper as you grabbed his arm and dragged him back to your table, “You’re so annoying, oh my God.”

He stopped in his tracks, planting his feet so you couldn’t drag him, “I meant it. I do like you. A lot.”

You looked over your shoulder at him, smiling at him, “I know.”

“Well? Aren’t you going to tell me whether you like me back?” He spluttered, his large doe eyes searching your face for pity or embarrassment at his declaration of his love for bagels.

“I like you, too. A lot.” You shyly pushed your hair back from your face.

His face lit up and he let you drag him back to your booth. Somewhere in your peripheral vision, you could see Denise checking her watch, and the other waiter staring at you with pride.

You ate in near silence, frequently smiling shyly at each other from opposite sides of the table. When you were done, he paid, despite you offering. You left the small café hand in hand to walk back to your dorm.

“You know, I’m really glad I let her write that message to you at the beginning of the semester,” you stated happily, glancing up at the dark sky. “The one on the window.” The stars littered the sky above you, and the dim lighting that the streetlights provided made his features seem softer and, yet, sharper. You were transfixed by him.

He stopped walking, “Are you saying I should be on a date with your friend and not you right now?”

“Maybe,” you smirked at him. He pushed your shoulder and you stumbled sideways before making your way back to his side, his hand instantly finding yours again.

“I’m glad I was shirtless when she happened to be looking out the window,” he glanced at you, gaging your reaction.

“You spent that whole week shirtless,” you rolled your eyes, before tugging his hand so he’d look back at you. “Speaking of, where has that gone? It’s lame seeing you with a shirt on.”

He laughed, “It’s winter.” You were only a minute’s walk away from your building and you really hoped that this wouldn’t be the end of your... first date?

“Lame.” You yelped as he laughed and pushed your shoulder again, but this time he kept his hand in yours so he could pull you back when you stumbled away from him.

When he tugged you back towards him, he pulled you so that you ended up standing in front of him, your faces merely centimetres apart. You felt your smile drop as you stared at him with wide eyes. Kissmekissmekissmekissme.

Slowly, he leant forwards, his head tilting up slightly to connect your lips together softly. You melted into his touch, leaning into him more as he gripped your hand. He pulled away all too soon for your liking, but he leant his forehead down to rest against yours.

His breath fanned your face as he sighed, “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

You hummed in response, your brain unable to form a coherent response, enjoying the close proximity. If anything, he looked better than ever. His large doe eyes stared into yours, and you could hear how quick he was breathing.

You felt yourself step back, “Come on, it’s getting cold.”

“How can you be cold, you’re wearing a massive coat,” he exaggeratedly looked you up and down. Despite the large coat, you felt exposed under his gaze. “And, by the way, red is definitely your colour.”

“Shut up,” you laughed as you walked through the lobby doors of your building. He pressed the elevator button and stared at the reflection in the metal doors.

“We look really good together, don’t you think?”

“I could’ve told you that months ago.”

The familiar chime of the elevator caught your attention and you stepped inside. Mark walked to the back and leant against the handrail, tugging you by the hand to stand between his legs. You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Can I kiss you again?”

You didn’t say anything this time, instead choosing to crash your lips onto his, hoping no one else would need to use the elevator at this time. The doors slid shut slowly, and you felt him smile against your lips.

A garbled voice announced the floor number, and you stepped away from Mark, catching your breath as you waited for the doors to slide open once more. He seemed to be struggling to catch his breath, too.

“What are you smiling about?” You tease, grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the elevator, only now realising that while you had been making out, he had pushed the button for his floor.

You heard him laugh behind you as he fished for his keys in his jeans pocket, unlocking the door and holding his arm out for you to enter first. Sliding your coat from your arms, you dropped it on the floor with your bag as you always did when you came over, and stood in the middle of his bedroom awkwardly. Every other time you’d hung out in his dorm, you’d immediately gone to sit down on his bed or desk chair, or even the floor, but this time was different.

If you sat down on the bed, it might seem too sexual. If you sat down on the desk chair, he couldn’t sit next to you. If you sat down on the floor…well, that’s just a little bit weird because, why would you choose the floor over actual seats?

After closing the door and hanging up his jacket on the hook beside it, he turned around to walk towards you. Seeing you in the middle of his bedroom, standing there in your dress and heels, lips slightly pink and puffy from kissing him earlier, made him smile at you, stars forming in his eyes.

He walked over to you, grabbing your waist and pulling you into him to kiss you again. The taste of you was too exciting, too high-inducing that he never wanted to stop. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and leant back slightly to say something.

“Wanna watch a movie?” Just like old times.

He grinned at you, “Yeah.”

The last time you saw Mark Lee on campus, he was shirtless.

It was almost a year after you’d started dating him, and you had decided to move out from your dorm in search of your own place.

You were busy packing moving boxes with items you didn’t even know you had when you glanced out the window, trying to get a peek of your boyfriend and his friends having a water fight on the quad to celebrate the end of another year.

He ran around them, apparently targeting Johnny as he threw handfuls of water balloons at the boys. Some of their girlfriends and partners sat on the side-lines, talking amongst themselves and watching the fight unravel. It’s just for the boys, Mark had told you. We do it every year.

Eventually, though, they all flopped down onto the lush grass, exhausted. You watched as one by one the boys stood back up, grabbing their things and walking into your building, and you caught Mark’s eye as he looked up at you, grinning and whooping. As if you could win a water fight.

A few minutes later, he was knocking on your door, already peeling his soaked shirt off his body as he entered. He wolf-whistled as he looked around your dorm, “Wow, you’ve made progress.”

He wrapped an arm around your waist and kissed you on the cheek as he passed you, making his way towards the half empty boxes you had been packing just moments before.

“Unlike you,” you teased, tossing him the masking tape so he could secure a box you’d finished filling. “I can see from here, you’ve barely even started.”

He looked up at you. “You been watching me, voyeur?” He smirked at you, raising an eyebrow as he stretched the tape out loudly. It wouldn’t have been so attractive if he wasn’t shirtless. You cursed him silently.

“Maybe you should get some curtains,” you shrugged, purposely looking away from his body and turning around to tape up a box sitting beside you.

“I think some people enjoy the view.” The same thing he had said when he’d first responded to your friend’s message on the window.

You rolled your eyes, turning around to respond, but you were instead met with your boyfriend’s chest only inches from your face. You were startled, but you tried your hardest not to show it. “I, uh, I-”

“Definitely enjoy the view,” he grinned, bending down to kiss you briefly on the lips. He pulled away and clapped his hands together, “Alright, let’s get you finished and then we can start on my room-” You opened your mouth to say something but he held up a finger so he could continue without interruption, “-and I know I said I had started, but, the truth is, I haven’t.”

“I KNEW IT!” You shrieked with glee, running to the window to point vaguely in the direction of his room.

He rolled his eyes and held up a roll of bubble wrap, “Okay, okay, come on. We’ve got a lot to do.”

“You’ve got a lot to do,” you corrected.

“Hey, it’s ‘we’ now,” he said softly, pouting at you from across the room.

You could feel your heart beat faster in your chest at his words but you ignored it, “Right, it’s ‘we’ when you need help packing up your apartment but it’s ‘you’ when-“

“Oh mY GOD, stop bringing that up! That was forever ago!” He threw a bag of packing peanuts at you in an attempt to get you to shut up.

You laughed at him and continue boxing up your things.

“And lastly, welcome home,” your landlord said to you, bowing slightly as he handed you the keys to your new apartment and bidding you two goodbye. You held a small box in your arms with a few items in it and made to step into your apartment, but Mark’s hand on your arm stopped you.

“No, we gotta do this right,” he placed the box in his hands down on the floor of the corridor. You shot him a confused look as he bent down slightly, then squealed as he picked you up bridal style, carrying you into what will be the living room of your shared apartment.

You laughed and covered your face with one hand, the other gripping tightly onto his shoulders, “Mark, this is for marriage. Not just, you know, moving into a new place.”

His smile faltered slightly as he let you down, but kept one arm around you. He didn’t meet your eyes, staring around the large apartment with pride, “Well, I guess that’s next then.”

so there you have it folks :))) the last part to TOWNC series :))) some of you seem excited by johnny and the friend’s storyline which is cute, so maybe as a spinoff I could write their story but who knows ???? anyways I hope you liked it and enjoyed the emotional rollercoaster

[boojersey]

VIC DO ALL THE ASKS BC I LOVE U AND WANT U TO HAVE FUN

*SWEATS* AYE AYE CAPN

cw for like some common lgbt+ topics such as dysphoria violence discrimination etc just. tread carefully if u get triggered easily by bad lgbt experiences

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? -im a gay trans man and my pronouns are he/him but they/them is also acceptable!

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?-oh wow i originally thought i was a lesbian because i didnt even know what transgender was i just thought wishing i was a man meant i was butch and then i met my friend donnie in eighth grade who told me he was trans and it was kinda a huge slap in the face but with a sack of gay bricks? and i found out i dont like women through actually having sex with cis women and finally realizing it. really wasnt for me so now im just a gay man as opposed to queer as an umbrella term but i periodically refer to myself as such

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?-oh yea i literally was misgendered today i just kinda brush it off but it can be hard sometimes especially when people know im trans and do it

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?-i first told donnie about my gender, it was a thing where i went to bed the night i met him and was like  .. wait holy fuck and then the next day i was like BRO HOLY FUCK but sexuality? i dont really know???? it was so long ago it was honestly probably my group of friends on kik that i had in 2013 (u were included in that mister!!!!)

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?-im not actually fully out but the first time someone who was an adult knew about my trans-ness was what really set in for me the fact that i could come out one day; my friends mom referred to me as seance (and like. obviously she respected my gender she has a trans kid) but it was just super jarring bc no adult had known yet abt my identity in any way and as a result i was rlly glad it was nighttime in that car bc i cried almost immediately; the first time i came out on my Own was to my cousin and he laughed in my face so that was pretty damn awful and its kinda funny cuz the bastard is bi so u would think hed have been accepting but n0pe!

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?-im out to my friends now ! and the reception was generally positive bc i think i do an ok job at picking ppl to be around in terms of morals so there was little bad reception

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?-i hate when ppl ask if im gay as in for men or gay as in for women because im trans, i am a man so when i say im gay i feel like that should be easy enough to put 2 and 2 together but when they ask that i feel as if they still view me as a woman

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.-emo of the gods themselves it is absolute scene and emo vomit and i love it; its seriously hard for me to wear dresses and skirts without dysphoria and just general discomfort but i own a couple anyway bc theyre cute i just. never wear them

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?-my main thing at the moment is gerard/frank/grant morrison bc i love poly fics very dearly and gerard/bert because bert mccracken deserved better than gerawrds internalized homophobia lol

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?-makeup to me is an androgynous thing so i wear eyeshadow a lot and lipstick sometimes, eyeshadow is easier on my eyes than eyeliner bc im allergic to a lot of makeup thats on the heavier side so if i put on eyeliner my eyes will water and burn throughout the day but with eyeshadow im mostly ok; other opinion is that makeup on Anyone can be sexy as hell if they do it for fun and wear literally what they truly want and not just what they think is accepted or what they Should wear

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?-oh yeah my dysphoria is pretty debilitating if im gonna be honest; i used to have very little problems with it because my hold on reality was loose at best (before i was medicated to clarify) but now that i am almost completely Here my dysphoria is pretty bad and even just like. the knowledge that i have breasts is pretty awful; a few weeks ago i put on an outfit that i have to wear a victorias secret bra to fit properly in and just one look in the mirror had me sobbing and i had to change my clothes before i could leave the house and i havent worn a bra since because just the thought of showing off my chest makes this stark fuckin dread shoot through my veins but i also have dysphoria in regards to my voice that i discussed at my last trans therapy group meeting actually ; my voice has a tendency to bounce around my octave range so sometimes ill be like. excited then hear what i sound like. and ruin it for myself immediately u kno? im not even gonna talk about my dicksphoria bc thats just. awful. 

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?-ohhhhhhhh my god u know what? ive heard..so much .. that im gonna instead take this opportunity to mention my mother genuinely thinks dnd is satanic

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-the fact that were so strong. we are so fucking strong we deal with violence and opposition constantly and at staggering rates yet we stay strong and we continue loving through all of it, whether its in dark corners in secret or loudly in the streets we continue loving and do so with all of our beings because we know its our own truth and well gladly go to hell if it means we got to love on earth (not that everyone believes in hell or the idea that us gays go to hell but my point stands)

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-we have this audacity to create divide (to the fault of mostly cis white gay men thank u very much) when what we need to do is love each other because we are different but at the end of the day we all need to remain in tandem and as a family or we will never get to where we need to in terms of acceptance and that means being uplifting and protecting our trans sisters of color, our disabled lgbt members, our autistic lgbt members, our anything past cis white gay man because we all need recognition, we all need love, and to exclude any letters of lgbt is to tear ourselves down and set ourselves on fire

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?-no :((( no one would drive me in the past and i dont think ill have a way to get there this year either

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?-brian molko! my bisexual, androgynistically-inclined father who birthed me at the tender age of 16 when i found placebo

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?-ya theres been a few and i dont rlly like to talk abt my relationships with anyone unless theyre online relationships so im just gonna leave it at that

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?-pantomime by laura lam! its one of if not my favorite book to this day

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?-y a every damn day bitch ! example is when i was deadnamed by my psychiatrist while she knows full well what my name is the other day; another is the countless times i get called a lesbian ???? and when strict lesbians ask me out i get a very bad taste in my mouth (i understand full well that sexuality is fluid, these are lesbians that spit the ‘penis is gross blegh’ rhetoric)

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?-uh im just gonna say preacher bc its my favorite show altogether n cass is bi/pan/something similar

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?-@ble3dmagic is my boyfriend in crime (not rlly thats a joke) and @musicalsense​ is my sunburnt Brother

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?-queer! i also use f*ggot a lot when talking about myself and my friends that are ok with it

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?-i went to a drag show and it was so amazing and one of the first times i felt accepted in my own community that i cried

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?-well i identify as a man with no leaning towards womanhood or nonbinaryhood in any way, its just . man . but in terms of Expression i am quite androgynous bc i can rlly appreciate femininity (NOT the same as womanhood) and being a man to me means just that ive always wanted to grow up with that “gender role” like i always wish i was raised as a stereotypical parent would raise a son and ive always been more interested in stereotypically masculine things and people since i can even remember and i feel like puberty was just this unpreventable spiral into something i didnt want. i didnt want it at all . this is tmi but when i got my first period i cried my eyes out bc the idea of being called a Woman repulsed me so much and since i didnt even know that being trans was a concept i was just this scared puppy full of confusion and fear aimed at myself because all the stuff i heard i was supposed to be proud of the change but i wasnt i was so ashamed of it and the idea of being called a woman made me sick to my stomach and i just wish i could go back in time and hold myself and tell me itll be alright 

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?-absoLutely not i hate kids (and by that i mean i hate being around them and the culture that surrounds having children; i do not treat kids like shit and i do not act like hating children is a personality trait; i get migraines and usually the second a child starts screaming or crying i am on the floor of my brain writhing in dire pain and i have absolutely no desire to support another human life when frankly i cant even support myself; its also just not a lifestyle i want to live)

What identity advice would you give your younger self?-god so fucking much. so fucking much. so many things i wish i could say to myself

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?-i think if someone wants to adhere to them then hell yea go ahead just dont expect others to do it or try to tell other people its a Norm or something; theyre for the most part christian in nature so i dont have any desire to follow them myself, i want a relationship (if any) thats more of a coexistence if that makes sense, like. roommates plus dick

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?-i always used to anxiously chew on the idea that my chest dysphoria is just me holding disdain for the shape and size of my breasts but let me tell you. the second i put on my binder for the first time i immediately started crying because i was so overwhelmed by the fact that i was looking at something one step closer to myself and i know full well i am never going to have that doubt again. this week has been exponentially cathartic and therapeutic for me

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?-i want the cisheteros to know that nothing they learn about us is new. everything about us has been around for so so long but has been silenced and erased to the point where a lot of us dont even know many things about our rich and beautiful history

Why are proud to be lgbt+?-honestly? its hard for me to not just straight up say im not proud of my identity. its taken me years to stamp down the plain grieving toward my identity and wishing i could have the easier path but frankly? the fact that i am choosing this path of hardship and hell on earth just to be who i truly am i think speaks volumes of my pride in my identity at this point; further back in my archive by a few years my posts are littered with sentiments of bitterness wherein i stated that i hate being trans and not just cis but i like to think ive finished hating myself for my identity. i like to think im proud now. to ask me why is to ask too much of me, all i know now is that i am proud and thats enough for me right now.

[linkeai]

that’s kinda hot → wang linkai / xiao gui ( nine percent ) → summary: summer school is fun, and at first, neither is the obnoxious boy who gets seated next to you who takes a weird liking to you. → warning(s): swearing, mentions of illness, canadian school terms? idfk → genre: fluff, the teensiest bit of angst → word count: 3,751 → notes: hi i love this and it may or may not be inspired by the boy i temporarily fell in love when i went to summer school :)

so... you suck at math

you knew you sucked at math pretty much your entire life, and you knew you were still going to suck this year when you started your grade 11 math class

but you didn’t think you sucked so bad that you would fail the class entirely

but, alas, thinking was not your strong suit

because your final mark in math 2201 was 32 :)

and you were NOT repeating a year, and you were not taking the god-awful supplementary exam, 

so summer school was pretty much the only option you had left

and your parents may as well have put a gun to your head with the way they said you had BETTER pass this time

bc summer school isn’t exactly cheap!!

so you went off with equal parts terror and determination in your heart

summer school was only a month long, and you’d already sort of done the course already

so you were feeling pretty good about your chances

until you arrived on the first day :)

the place was a janky looking middle school filled with people that divided into two groups;

group a) the ones like you who were already over it and just wanted to get your credits and get the hell out

and group b)… came in shouting at each other and being generally obnoxious and we’re treating it like they’d just arrived at the party

one boy in particular stood out to you.. not because he was probably the most obnoxious one in the bunch, but because he was kind cute even when he was screaming some nonsense

and as if it was your luck.. when you got sorted into your classes and took your seats, he plopped down right beside you

who in the name of god thought it was a good idea to have two seats pushed together in the rows in an actual summer school, you didn’t know

you just knew that when the teacher told you that these were your seats for the remainder of the month, he turned and gave you a grin that made you realize that there was, in fact, a fate better than summer school

and it was death

summer school is extremely fast paced so class started pretty much five minutes after you were seated

so you took out your notebook and your little pencil case and got ready to inject yourself with some mathematical knowledge

when this dude taps on your shoulder

you don’t even say anything you just like at him like don't you fucking dare ask for paper

and so he asks for some paper

and you’re like yeah man for sure! and tear out a few sheets and give it to him

he gives you the BIGGEST, the DUMBEST smile you have ever seen

and you would never in a hundred years admit that it made your heart do several things.

and the paper… the paper was your first mistake.

the teacher started explaining some of the topics of the first unit when he taps his pencil (thank god he at least had a pencil) on your desk

and you just.. fill with dread bc PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE I NEED TO LISTEN OR MY PARENTS WILL LITERALLY RUIN MY LIFE

and you’re like yeah… what….

and he asks what your name is 

and you’re like???? it’s y/n

and he does the smile again and … oof

he tells you his name is linkai and you just awkwardly bob your head and turn toward the front again

and linkai has the GALL to tap on your desk again and maybe you’re being a liiittle hot-tempered but in your head, its like W H AT THE FUCK DO YO U WANT DUDE

and this boy has the audacity to look you in the eyes and say “you’re kinda cute.”

your brain short-circuits at the same time your heart goes into overdrive

and you can’t really do much else but stare at him for a long minute and just as you’re about to answer him, you hear a loud yell from the front of the classroom.

“you two! is this gonna be a problem? seriously?”

“no ma’am!” the two of you say in perfect unison

and class carries on

the classes last about four-ish hours every day

and for the ENTIRE first day

linkai is doing sometHING to test your sanity

when he’s not humming, he’s drumming a beat on the desk,

when he’s not trying to make conversation with you, he’s whispering little side comments about the lesson 

and you’re too afraid to tell him to stfu because he’s still really hot and you’re a little intimidated

and this goes on for the next three days of the first week until you snap

he turns to you and he’s like, “y/n, your hair looks really good today.”

and you slowly turn, look him dead in the face and say very slowly; “if you don’t shut the fuck up, i’m going to beat you to death with this calculator”

the next few seconds pass like several eternities, where you revel in the thinly veiled shock and terror in his eyes

until a cheeky grin slowly spreads across his face, and he says, shamelessly;

“that’s kinda hot.”

and at that moment, you turn back to the board and take a long, agonizing moment to grieve over both your two precious math credits as well as your life which your parents will inevitably soon take from you

things get so much weirder after that

you think he goes from talking to you to entertain himself to actually liking you after your feisty little outburst

and you quickly learn that when linkai likes someone he’s … extremely odd

but?? kind of adorable?

the weirdest thing he does is he starts bringing you ‘gifts’

and it's so creepy but so ridiculously endearing when he pulls a bouquet of crumpled dandelions out of his bag and hands them to you

theres a few ants crawling on them and they’re ruined from being in his backpack

he hasn't even put anything on them to hold them together

and you’re not really sure if you want to thank him or not but you do anyway because like.. c’mon man

and he’s looking at you with those puppy dog eyes

so you say “thanks, linkai. these are uh.. nice.”

theyre really not but when his eyes kinda light up a little and he turns away with red ears and hides his smile in his hoodie you’re like.. these are the most beautiful flowers i have ever seen in my entire life

and that, my friend, was your second mistake

he brings you a new gift every day

one time it was half of a cookie from the gas station mcdonalds down the road

once it was an actual fucking newt like a little lizard that he found somewhere and you literally begged him to keep it for himself

another time it was an eraser shaped like a cupcake that was very clearly used

but you kept every single present he gave you

except for the lizard because what the genuine fuck dude

he also comes up with new nicknames for you every day

and they’re even cringer than they were the day before every time without fail

he strolls into the room, plops down beside you and hands you your daily present with a “good morning, ___”

the blanks thus far include, honey, darling, sweetiepie, cupcake, pumpkin, gumdrop, cutie patootie, my cinnamon apple, munchkin

and you don't know why you look forward to seeing what he comes up with next

and even the very worst of the presents and the nicknames make your heart flutter

and you realize you are slowly becoming whipped for this weird kid

and that this is very bad because you’re literally desperate to pass this class and its hard when you spend all your time waiting for his next comment or thinking about him being next to you

but like a dummy, you don't ask to be moved and you don’t even ask him to shut up

well you do, you regularly tell him to shut up but this man takes insults like compliments and it seems to feed into this idea that you like him

which you do but that's none of his damn business

and about halfway through that short month of school, you realize you’re not going to be ready for the exam

you start losing sleep over it because this is really not good

and you also realize that this isn’t linkai’s fault, really, you can’t push the blame onto him because you didnt want to ask to be moved away from the cute boy

and that makes you feel even worse

so you come into school one day looking about as miserable as you feel

you actually get there after linkai for the first time because you were in the bathroom trying to make yourself look more alive

but it doesn't work because the second you walk in and linkai (who was previously looking a bit like a lost puppy) says “hi sugarpl- damn, you look rough.”

you give him a half-assed glare and slump into the seat beside him, not even having the energy to be sarcastic.

“wait, y/n, are you okay?”

the concern in his voice makes your stomach turn a little but you just kinda look at him and you’re like.

“i’m gonna fail. again.”

and he's surprised you actually answered him so he kinda stalls for a second

and then he's like “i can help you? if you want?”

and you almost want to laugh bc you have not seen the kid take a single note since you got here

but he's like “lets go sit at one of those tables outside after this and i’ll help you with what you don’t know.”

and you’re like yeah sure i guess bc i mean.. he's cute what are you gonna do? say no?

and then he gets his bag and pulls out a pack of colorful scrunchies and hands them to you

and you instinctively tear up bc they look super new so he definitely like.. went to a store.. saw these.. thought he should get them for you..took them off the shelf.. bought them with his own money.. and now they’re here

and by the will of god you don’t start weeping in front of him

and you feel weird walking with him outside as he greets all his loud friends and is like nah i cant go with you guys today i gotta do something

you two sit down outside and you whip out your book and he’s like so what is it? what are you having trouble with?

and, in shame, you admit that you really don’t know shit all

and he just kinda laughs and he’s like aight let's do this

and let me JUST SAY

YOU. ARE. FLOORED.

he starts explaining the first concept to you and everything he says is making? perfect sense?

he explains things very clearly and intelligently and you immediately understand what you have to do 

he has his own way of solving problems that is faster and more efficient and literally whips through every equation.

when he finishes explaining, you just stop and stare at him in awe for a second and he's like “sorry, did that make sense?”

and in your head you’re like nothing has ever made sense more than what you just did right now

but outwardly you’re like yeah thanks so much

and he continues to explain things to you and by the time a few hours have passed and its getting late and kinda chilly, you already understand half the things you were lost on

you tell him you should get home now and he’s like, oh, yeah, sure, okay.

and you really have to ask him how he ended up in summer school? because he’s obviously extremely intelligent with how easily he understands all the concepts

and he gets a little shy

and he tells you that during the year, he had to work a lot during the school days because his mom is sick and off work so they’re not making a lot of money

and that she had a doctors appointment on the day of the final and there was no one else to take her and it was all really last minute so he missed it

and so he ended up failing math and had to go to summer school

he waits with you until your bus comes and sends you off

and you’re just like.. sitting there.. thinking

and you start to feel like the biggest piece of shit for multiple reasons

first, because you had made so many wrong assumptions about linkai

he wasn’t just some obnoxious imbecile. he was hard-working and obviously had a really big heart

he was loud, yeah but that was just his personality

and you had gone and assumed he was dumb when he was pretty much a genius

but worst of all, you realized that he actually genuinely liked you

all the little pet names, the gifts, the constant talking to you in class was because he just… liked you. it was his own little eccentric way of showing it

and you had treated him like he was some big joke. a nuisance, even.

you didn’t sleep very well that night, either.

the next day he brought you a donut and called you donut.

and you almost cried again 

he was also wearing a different red sweater he’d never worn before and his hair was kind of different and he looked so good

and so you smiled at him and said, “morning, handsome.”

and there was nothing sweeter than the way his face turned as red as his hoodie.

he helped you that day after class too,

and the next, and the next

and you exchanged numbers so you could ‘ask him questions while you were home’

but you two would start texting and having all kinds of conversations

from the most crackheadassery shit to some really deep stuff

you never knew that you could fall so hard for someones voice, the way he talks on the phone when he’s calm and tired, his voice husky and quiet

but shit, you were whipped like whip cream

there was this one time he texted you at 6 am

and it said something like “i just got home from work and i saw a cat in my mailbox blah blah”

and you were like.. pause. just got home from work?

and from there you realized that because summer school was mandatory he was going to work at night to make up for the day shifts he had to miss

and probably getting 2-3 hours of sleep if he was getting any and all

and that was kind of the deal breaker

and you realized that, in such a short span of time,

you had completely fallen in love with wang linkai

and you were determined to do something, anything you could to just.. make things better for him?

you just wanted to be his person

the two of you continued staying after school and studying for an hour or two and then texting throughout the rest of the day, right up until the final exam

the two of you had studied vigorously together, both in person and over facetime.

and the night before the exam comes and you get a text

and all it says is “y/n, something bad happened.”

your heart immediately sinks to the floor and you abandon the petty ‘wait two-three minutes before answering’ rule and just call him

he picks up and doesn’t even say hello and you’re so frightened to see such a bright creature so… burned out

he explains to you that his mom finally got an appointment with this really important specialist after months of waiting

and that it was supposed to be next week, but it got moved to tomorrow

and it’s on the other side of the city

and he’ll miss his exam

it really hurts to hear the shake in his voice, and how hopeless he sounds

and you ask him everything like are you sure theres no one else that can drive her but you? are you sure you cant have the appointment moved back?

and its all a pretty resounding no.

and so you think and think and you’re like; you know what? i have an idea.

and you run into your moms room and explain the situation to her and BEG her to do this for you and take linkai’s mom to her appointment for him

and she asks to speak to linkai for a second and you’re just twiddling your thumbs

and he kinda makes her smile and laugh a little and your heart could just BURST

and she agrees to drive her after getting his address and his moms name and the place of the appointment etc

and when she hands the phone back to you, you go back to your room and when you put the phone to your ear, you hear linkai sniffling on the other end

and you’re like “kai?? are you crying?”

and he’s like “no… fuck maybe a little bit.”

and you’re like ?? why, what else is wrong?

and he’s like “nothing.. nothing is wrong, it’s just.” and he takes a big breath. “thank you so much.”

and you kinda tear up a little bit too and you’re like.. “of course.. you don’t have to thank me.”

and he just takes a biig breath and calms down and then he starts talking in a really soft voice.

“y/n.. you know i like, really like you, right? i know you think im just bored or playing some game, but im not. i knew you were special, and im..” he kind of laughs at himself. “fuck, im really falling for you.”

and now you are crying too

and you tell him you’re so sorry and that you wish you would have just. been better from the beginning

and you tell him that you feel the same way and the both of you are just giggling and he tells you thank you a million times and that he cant wait to see you tomorrow

so the exam comes

the two of you take it and you’re kind of lost on what to do with yourselves other than studying lol

but you both feel really good about the outcome

and there's something really special about the two of you sitting outside waiting for both of your moms to come and get you

and when they do, you get in the car and your moms are like best fuckin friends already

and you’re all laughing as the four of you go to eat lunch together and linkai’s mom tells him that the specialist set up a plan for her and it looks like things are going to get better really soon.

and theres a happy kind of pain in your chest when you look over at him and see that he’s getting teary eyed

and you know exactly what he’s feeling - its that feeling like fuck, things are so good right now, everything is perfect, please don’t take it away

and so you’re a little scared but more excited when you reach over and hold his hand.

and he looks at you and you smile at him. you don’t have to say a word for him to know exactly what you’re thinking

‘i’m here. things will be okay. things will get better. let me carry this weight with you.’

and he squeezes your hand so tight it hurts

but you dont mind

a few days later, the two of you return to get your final examination results

and you’re both shaking and bickering bc you’re like “why are you nervous when you know you passed”

and the two of you take the envelopes and go stand outside by the same table you sat at everyday.

you open your cards at the same time and look at the results and you scream while linkai lets out a big huff of relief

yours reads ’84’ and his says says ’93’

your card flutters to the ground as you jump forward into his arms

and he’s laughing and holding you so so tight, swinging you around and he’s still kind of shaking but in a good way.

and you pull away from the hug and just look at him, and he’s got that look in his eyes again

the look that says he’s so happy and he’s afraid he’s going to lose it

and before you can think twice, you grab his face and kiss the thought right out of his head

and he smiles into the kiss, grabbing you the second you pull away and bringing you back for more

you two pull away and just look at each other like.. who knew?

and he kisses you again on the lips, then kisses all over your entire face

and the horn honks a few feet away from where your mother is waiting for you with a small smile on her face.

and you kiss him one last time before you walk back to the car with your hands tightly intertwined

and you are so fucking glad you suck at math

[strawberrygiorno]

Hi there! I love your and Pari's avatar au, and I'd love to hear more about it, so here goes some questions! I think i'll divide them by character (Hope you don't mind me sending them in different asks, I have a feeling there is A Lot to talk about so this could get quite long fjvkasjv) This got kinda long already so for this one I'll only ask about any minor characters you already have figured out(Tome, Tsubomi, Mezato, the BIC, others that won't fit here). What are they all up to?

hehe thank you!! i’m glad you’re so interested omg fkjld i’m flattered!!

this answer got long, so it’s under the cut. also @rosenmarille was the one who wrote out the answer to this ask, just so u all know!!

I am so glad you asked about Tsubomi because out of all the minor characters we probably have the most content for her. She’s actually a part of the group, though she joins rather late, after shou has become a solid member, but before any of them meet momo! 

Known for her particular talent with elegant firebending forms, she’s somewhat of a minor celebrity along the eastern islands of the fire nation, travelling here and there as a performer, similar to how a travelling circus would operate. It’s less about fighting and more about style, a mixture between martial arts and dancing, and she uses fire effectively to accompany her, something that also makes her eventual fighting style unique – precise, even if it means skimping out on brute strength. 

She enjoys that part, though honestly, she could do without all the attention or the pressure to perform perfectly even outside of a show. Not to mention, her manager is an uncaring man who she has no doubt would replace her if she ever let her standard drop. So, with nothing else to do, and no where else to go, she remains. 

The group meets her when travelling the fire nation in search for a teacher for mob – now that shou has agreed to teach earth, they can finally move on to the next element. Reigen remembers hearing about her show before he left the fire nation, so he urges mob and ritsu to come with him (funnily enough, teru and shou conveniently disappear as soon as he brings up the topic). Mob decides to buy snacks for the others and wanders off, only he cant seem to find his way back to the performance tent all of a sudden, and asks a young woman for directions. 

Tsubomi, out for a walk before the latest show, dreads the water tribe boy’s approach, thinking him another fan (has her fame spread that far??), but when he asks for directions to….see her show? She’s not quite sure how to react. If that was his idea of a practical joke, she’s not very amused. 

Later, after she’s taking an applause break after finished her first set, the crowd starts to take a different turn, voices of “Is that the avatar?” growing louder and louder, until the masses part to reveal a very annoyed water tribe boy, though not the one she saw earlier. He crosses his arms just as another boy in blue steps up, looking very sheepish and uncomfortable. Him??

Her manager, quick to think of ways to bring home profit starts announcing their very special guest of today and wait no, that’s not in the program, I don’t know what to do. The boy is brought (shoved) besides her, and immediately she can tell he has no stage experience whatsoever, he can’t even bring himself to say a word. The silence in the tent grows along with the terrible atmosphere this interruption has created, and thinking quickly, she manages to end the show abruptly and with a flash and pushes the avatar backstage. As expected, her manager isnt happy with her, though this time she refuses to let herself be cowed again and starts yelling back, just as the other water tribe boy and a man dressed in overtly tacky fire nation garb rush in, looking worried. 

They start arguing but she cuts them off, then cuts her manager off by tearing off her costume and throwing it to the ground. She quits. Grabs her bag and leaves without another word, angrier than she’s ever been before. The humiliation of dealing with a poorly thought out plan put into motion without consulting her, the embarrassment of having been on the receiving end of the avatar’s prank and getting scolded for it? Bye! 

Meanwhile reigen does his best to calm an angry manager, trying his hardest not to deck him in the face. Mob is worried tsubomi got the wrong idea, he didn’t mean to mess up her show? But ritsu assures him that theres nothing to be done now, and as soon as reigen is done, they decide to find shou and teru as fast as possible (“no, we didn’t break into a rude rich guy’s house and steal his stuff,” Shou says. “stealing implies keeping it,” teru adds.)

As luck would have it on the outskirts of town, after travelling for about an hour, the group runs into a now-tired tsubomi, resting by a tree, and mob hops off the carriage immediately, eager to set the record straight. She seems amused by the misunderstanding and luckily not angry at him, and she agrees to catch a ride with them, at least for a while. Of course, she ends up staying. 

She and ritsu end up having a somewhat interesting relationship as they grow closer, what with both of them being firebenders, albeit with very different bending styles. (though we’ll talk about that more later)

Her relationship with shou is also a lot of fun, since he’s a big influence in teaching her to lighten up a little and they can tend to get into trouble at times. Shou just has that kind of effect on people.

Now Tome. To be honest, she doesn’t have quite as big a role as she should have but that might still develop more as we think of new stuff! Right now she and the rest of the telepathy club members are a bunch of orphans in the earth kingdom, living not very far from where one of touichirou’s military troupes has set up camp, slinking along their shadows and stealing food and supplies whenever they think it won’t show up as missing. They know of the brainwashing that’s happening there though, and even though they haven’t seen them up close, they know there’s a kid about their age with them. 

One night, during a very clear full moon, Tome and the others are roaming around the campsite (its easier when theyre asleep), only instead of food, someone barrels into her from behind at full speed, knocking them both down. To her surprise, it’s the boy they’ve seen at the camp, and he looks to be on the verge of a breakdown. After assuring him that they didn’t have anything to do with the soldiers, they take him back to their cave, and eventually befriend him. Skip to two years later, and by now Teru has gathered a lot more members to their little group, driven by confidence that tome doesn’t know the origin of. He sees himself as the protector of this forest, his “territory”, as he calls it, and has successfully driven the camp of soldiers out some time ago. With nothing else to do, they antagonize other militia and small local authorities as tome and the others watch with ever growing disdain. 

Then, one day, he’s gone. Left behind are the remnants of his gang, though they seem a lot less eager to fight pointlessly. Taking this chance, she strikes a deal with the defacto-leader Edano, and the two decide to join forces and start fighting real problems, with a particular eye on more of these strange earth kingdom soldiers that keep popping up everywhere…. 

NOW the body improvement club. There’s not much to them either, but they’re members of the southern water tribe as well. Back then, the south was in its entire height and glory, and growing up, mob looked up to them a lot. He befriends them after a few of the other kids pick on him for not managing to throw a spear right, or how to sneak up on prey carefully enough, which musashi and the others will absolutely not abide! He and ritsu spend more time with them, and it turns out, ample encouragement and practice was all that mob needed after all. 

Lastly, I regret to say that we haven’t talked about mezato being in this au at all, though that might change at one point :P

[voidmutt]

i need this to reach the stranger things fandom bc i have no one irl to infodump on and i need someone to tell me if i’m right or if i’m going insane 🙃

i’m gonna sound like a raving lunatic but bear with me. before Joseph Quinn privated his eddie playlist on spotify i screenrecorded the song list for future reference (i like to make playlists for people/feelings its not weird leave me alone ab it) and after looking at all the songs, Mr. Quinn hella privated that playlist for a reason…

The Promise - When In Rome: “If you need a friend, don't look to a stranger. You know in the end, I'll always be there. And when you're in doubt, and when you're in danger, take a look all around and I'll be there.” 

i mean, thats pretty self explanatory. lol

Another Land - Medio Mutante: “And we could walk through the dreams you would see what I mean. I could take your hand in another land.” 

i could be reaching for this one, but “in another land” just makes me think of the upside down.

Collapsing New People - Fad Gadget: “Fated - collapsing new people. Watch them - collapsing.” 

i mean… do i really need to explain this? ChRiSsY WaKe Up!!!

I Ran (So Far Away) - A Flock Of Seagulls: “And I ran, I ran so far away.” 

queue the many times Eddie references how he runs from danger. 

Breaking The Law - Judas Priest: 

i’m not gonna put lyrics for this one bc the entire song is relevant. Our favorite freak is a 20 yo senior in high school, sells drugs to students, on the run as a prime suspect for several murders. do i need to keep going?

Metropolis - Motörhead: “Metropolis, the worlds divide. Ain't nobody on the other side. I don't care, I'm not there.” 

foreshadowing, anyone?

Love Me Forever - Motörhead: “Every way out takes you back to the start. Everyone dies to break somebody's heart.” 

i mean COME ON.

Orgasmatron - Motörhead: “I lead you to your destiny, I lead you to your grave. Your bones will build my palaces, your eyes will stud my crown.” 

this song, these lines specifically, makes me think of Vecna’s POV. 

Stoned Bikers In Space - Black Space Riders: “[…]creatures, looking for a fight. Wanna ride, wanna hide, don't wanna die tonight.” (i cant find any lyrics sites that say whatever theyre saying before creatures and i have poor listening skills without subtitles so F in the chat) 

BUT again, self explanatory.

96 Quite Bitter Beings - CKY: “Footprints giving clue to where we are. All we ever wanted was an answer. Civilized are close but way too far.” 

this reminds me of the scene when Eddie, Steve, Robin, and Nancy are in the upside down communicating with Dustin and the gang. i dont think i need to elaborate further there. lol

Master of Puppets - Metallica: 

not gonna put specific lyrics for this one either, the entire song just sounds like another Vecna POV. 

Flesh Into Gear - CKY: “Flesh into gear, my self appears dissected and pretentious. A simple sound, a heavy side could win the whole world over. You live in fear of being someone that you didn't want to. I realize your insecurities will get the best of you.” 

a simple sound being the plot point of hearing your favorite song to escape Vecna. Your insecurities, the way Vecna preys on your insecurities or your guilt in order to take your life.

War Pigs - Black Sabbath: “Sorcerer of death's construction.” “Time will tell on their power minds, making war just for fun. Treating people just like pawns in chess. Wait till their judgement day comes.” “Begging mercy for their sins.” 

more Vecna inclusion.

The Thing That Should Not Be - Metallica: “He searches, hunter of the shadows is rising. Immortal. In madness you dwell. Crawling chaos, underground, cult has summoned, twisted sound.” “Drain you of your sanity, face the thing that should not be.”

moooore Vecna inclusion, but from another perspective.

For Whom The Bell Tolls - Metallica:

*gestures violently at the name of the song*

Harvester of Sorrow - Metallica: “Invade their nightmares to see into my eyes, you'll find where murder lies.”

Vecna

Motorhead - Hawkwind: “Fourth day, five day marathon, we're movin' like a parallelogram. Let's go, see you on the only house. Don't move, except they’re gonna kill the lights.”

the parallelogram part may be reaching, but parallel universe, upside down vs hawkins. (also hawkins, hawkwind… is it THAT far of a reach?) only house could be the house Vecna is in in the upside down. they’re gonna kill the lights bc the lights explode when Vecna kills. could be setting something up…

Sad But True - Metallica: 

*gestures at the title once more*

In My Time Of Dying - Led Zeppelin:

do i- do i really have to point it out…

Neon Knights - Black Sabbath: “Circles and rings, dragons and kings, weaving a charm and a spell. Blessed by the night, holy and bright. Called by the toll of the bell. Bloodied angels fast descending, moving on a never-bending light. Phantom figures free forever, out of shadows, shining ever-bright.”

this makes me think of the parallels they all draw from their DnD campaigns and their real world. also another reference to the bell toll.

Creeping Death - Metallica: “I rule the midnight air, the destroyer. Born, I shall soon be there, deadly mass. I creep the steps and floor, final darkness.”

idk why the Metallica songs just come across as Vecna POV’s… but tell me i’m wrong.

The Trooper - Iron Maiden: “You'll take my life, but I'll take yours too. You'll fire your musket, but I'll run you through. So when you're waiting for the next attack, you'd better stand, there's no turning back.” 

this is all assuming Eddie dies in Vol. 2, but this makes it sound like he has a hand in Vecna’s death somehow.

Sabbath Bloody Sabbath - Black Sabbath: “The gates of life have closed on you, and now there's just no return. You're wishing that the hands of doom could take your mind away. And you don't care if you don't see again the light of day.”

again, assuming it’s Eddie that dies, this would just describe Vecna’s curse.

The Last In Line - Dio: “We're off to the witch. We may never, never, never come home. But the magic that we'll feel is worth a lifetime.”

referencing Vecna as the sorcerer in their dnd campaign. 

Seek And Destroy - Metallica: “There is no escape and that’s for sure. This is the end, we won't take any more. Say goodbye to the world you live in. You’ve always been taking but now you’re giving.”

idk how to be more clear about this one

Children of the Grave - Black Sabbath: “Revolution in their minds, the children start to march, against the world in which they have to live and all the hate that's in their hearts. They're tired of being pushed around and told just what to do. They'll fight the world until they've won and love comes flowing through.”

the children of ST come to save the day yet again.

Diary Of A Madman - Ozzy Osbourne: “Sanity now it's beyond me, there's no choice. Diary of a madman.”

“Do you ever feel like you’re losing your mind?” “Uuuhm, you know… just on a daily basis.”

Megalomania - Black Sabbath: “Well I feel something's taken me I don't know where, it's like a trip inside a separate mind. The ghost of tomorrow from my favorite dream is telling me to leave it all behind. Feel it slipping away, slipping in tomorrow. Got to get to happiness, want no more of sorrow.”

another description of Vecna’s curse, more specifically when he’s about to kill you. gotta get to happiness like when Max was hearing her favorite song and thought of only good memories.

Flight Of Icarus - Iron Maiden:

this one seems more metaphorical. The story of Icarus being flying too close to the sun (or fighting against Vecna) resulting in his demise.

Johnny B. Goode - Chuck Berry: “Who never ever learned to read or write so well, but he could play a guitar just like a-ringin' a bell.” 

again, our mans not getting good grades and being held back in school, but MAN can he play guitar (allegedly. just a tiny bit salty we didnt get to hear him play in vol. 1)

Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) - Journey:

JUST. THE TITLE. THE SONG. THE FEELING. THE ENERGY. THE ATMOSPHERE. TELL ME IM WRONG. 

LOOK OKAY. i know this was unhinged and honestly this was a lot longer than i thought it was gonna be and agaaiiinnn. this is all speculation bc i was suspicious of how quickly this playlist was privated and i’m fully aware i’m reading way too far into a fucking playlist. but also you’re gonna look at me and tell me that i’m wrong??? AM I WRONG????? the man told the entire story through SONGS ON A PLAYLIST. my theory is Eddie dies bc of course he does. everyone loves him and we all should know by now that we can’t have nice things ever. OR. he’s about to die at Vecna’s hand when he’s saved, and either gets trapped in the upside down or (assuming the Duffer bros follow through on basing Eddie off Damien Echols) he’s arrested and sent to prison… 

anyway. if you made it this far into this post, hell yeah ily. i didn’t include like half the playlist (if you can believe that) bc they either weren’t relevant (all the love songs bc they didnt show much love interest for Eddie) or i would have just been repeating myself even more than i already was. i would like to shake this man’s mf hand for curating such a well thought out playlist, while simultaneously apologizing for overstepping a boundary he set in place… 😅

[themoneybuff-blog]

"How much house can I afford?"

How much house can I afford? Answering this question correctly is one of the keys to building a happy, wealthy life. Unfortunately, theres a vast housing industry in the U.S. thats geared toward providing the wrong answer. You see, housing is by far the largest expense in most peoples budgets. According to the U.S. governments 2016 Consumer Expenditure Survey, the average American family spends $1573.83 on housing and related expenses every month. Thats more than they spend on food, clothing, healthcare, and entertainment put together! Too many folks struggling to make ends meet focus their attention on fine-tuning their budget. They try to save big bucks by clipping coupons, growing their own food, and/or making their own clothes. While theres nothing wrong with frugal habits I applaud everyday thriftiness! all of these actions combined wont (and cant) have the same impact on your budget as keeping your housing payments affordable. Part of the problem is what I call the Real-Estate Industrial Complex, each piece of which has a vested interest in convincing consumers that bigger, more expensive homes are better. Real-estate agents, mortgage brokers, home-shopping shows, and glossy magazines all encourage folks to buy at the top end of their budget. But buying at the top end of your housing budget is dangerous. Buying a home is a huge decision, financially and otherwise. If youre going to purchase a place, its important to know how much house you can truly afford.

Debt-to-Income Ratio Economists have used decades of financial stats to create computer models to predict how much people can afford to spend on housing and debt. Banks use these models to figure out how much they think you can afford to spend on housing. Traditionally, lenders use whats called a debt-to-income ratio (or DTI ratio) a measure of how much of your income goes toward debt every month to estimate how much you can afford to pay for a home without risk of defaulting. This might sound complicated, but its not. To find this ratio, divide your monthly debt payments by your gross (pre-tax) income. So, for example, if you pay $400 toward debt every month and you have an income of $4000, then your DTI ratio is 10%. If you pay $800 toward debt on a $4000 income, your DTI ratio is 20%. The lower your debt-to-income ratio, the better. Banks and mortgage brokers look at two numbers when deciding how much to loan: The front-end DTI ratio (sometimes called the housing expense ratio), which includes only your housing expenses: mortgage principle, interest, taxes, and insurance.The back-end DTI ratio (also known as the total expense ratio), which include all of the above plus other debt payments like auto loans, student loans, and credit cards. The key thing to understand about debt-to-income ratios is that theyre used to estimate the lenders risk, not yours. That is, your mortgage company uses them to check whether they think youll be able to make the payments not whether you can comfortably make the payments. If you want room in your budget for fun, you should opt for a lower debt-to-income ratio than your real-estate agent and mortgage broker say you can use. If youre a money nerd, you can read more about debt-to-income ratios at Fannie Maes website. How Much House Can You Afford? During the 1970s (before credit-card debt was common), DTI wasnt split between front-end and back-end. There was only one ratio, and it was 25%. If your mortgage, taxes, and insurance costs were less than 25% of your income, people assumed you could make the payment. This is still an excellent rule of thumb: Spend no more than 25% of your budget on housing. (In fact, this is the number that money guru Dave Ramsey advocates.) That said, debt-to-income guidelines have relaxed over the years. When my ex-wife and I bought our first home in 1993, our mortgage broker told us that our front-end DTI ratio had to be 28% or lower, meaning we couldnt pay any more than 28% of our gross income toward housing. The back-end DTI ratio was capped at 36%, which meant that our housing expenses and other debt payments combined couldnt be more than 36% of our income.When my ex-wife and I bought a new home in 2004, the accepted DTI ratios had grown by 5%. That 28% figure is outdated, we were told. Most people can go as high as 33%. The back-end ratio had been raised to 38%.According to the Fannie Mae website, in 2018 maximum back-end DTI ratios are up to 45% (and sometimes even 50%). These numbers are insane. Nobody should be spending half of their gross income on debt not even mortgage debt! Thats a recipe for financial disaster. Heres a little table I whipped up to show what sort of housing payment youd be looking at based on your pre-tax income (the left-hand column) and various debt-to-income ratios (the header row):

A 5% increase in your debt-to-income ratio might not seem like a big deal. But when youre talking about a house payment, its huge. In 2016, the average American household earned $74,664 before taxes. Using this, a 5% change would be $3733.20 per year or $311.10 per month. Many folks lost their homes during the housing crisis because they took on mortgage payments that were just $300 more than they could afford each month. Real-Life Examples When my ex-wife and I moved in 2004, our housing payments went from around $1200 per month to roughly $1600 per month. This $400 per month difference was enough to make me panicked about money. Similarly, my youngest brother made the mistake of believing the banks when they told him he could afford a big housing payment. He could at first. But when the financial crisis hit in 2008 and 2009, he was screwed. Because hed bought at the top end of his budget, when his income faltered, so did his ability to pay his mortgage. He lost his home to foreclosure. For the most part, banks are happy to lend you as much money as you want. (Within reason, of course, and if your credit is good.) Theyre not going to stop you from taking on more debt if their computer models say you can afford it. Its up to you to exercise caution. In The Automatic Millionaire Homeowner, David Bach writes [emphasis is mine]: You should generally assume that the amount the bank or mortgage company will loan you is more than you should borrowDont fool around with this. Do the math. Be realistic about your situation. Dont pretend youre in better shape than you are. Remember: Nobody cares more about your money than you do. Your real-estate agent, mortgage broker, and bank all have a vested interest in encouraging you to buy as much house as possible their incomes depend on it. Listen to what they have to say, but make your decision based on whats best for you. Playing House If you think youre ready to buy a house, take a few months to do a trial run. In The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke, Suze Orman says that you should play house before you buy a house. I like this idea. Heres how it works: Figure out how much you think you can afford to pay for a home every month, including mortgage and maintenance. Lets use $1750 as an example.Subtract the amount youre currently paying for housing. If your rent (or current mortgage) is $1000 per month, youd subtract this from our hypothetical $1750 to get $750 per month.Open a new, separate savings account. On the first day of each of the next six months, stick $750 into this account. This exercise lets you experience what its like to make a higher housing payment. If you cant make these numbers work, Orman says you need to wait: If you miss one payment, or if you are consistently late in making the payments, you are not ready to buy a home. If you can handle the extra payments, then youve got the thumbs-up to start looking for a home to buy. Generally speaking, once youve saved 20% for a down payment and you can afford monthly mortgage payments, youre ready to start looking for a home. Yes, you can buy a home with a smaller down payment I bought my first place with a 2% down payment! but itll cost you in the long run. Youll need to carry private mortgage insurance (PMI), youll pay more in interest, and you could put yourself in a position where you cant afford to keep your home.

The Bottom Line Homebuyers are often told to buy as much house as you can afford. But the problem with this advice is that it leaves you without a buffer. What if you lose your job? What if youre forced to sell your home after housing prices have dropped? Instead of buying as much house as you can afford, buy only as much house as you need. Think of conventional debt-to-income ratios as ceilings, not targets. Give yourself margin for error. Instead of basing your home-buying budget on a 36% front-end DTI ratio, consider dropping that to 28%. Or, better yet, 25% (just like the olden days!). If you have an average U.S. household income of around $75,000, a 36% DTI ratio would lead you to budget $2250 per month for housing (assuming you have no other debt). If you were to go with a more conservative 25% DTI ratio, that budget would be $1563 per month. Thats a savings of $687 per month over $8000 per year! Just think: What could you do with a chunk of change like that? Another way to create a buffer is to base your budget on your net (take-home) pay instead of your gross pay. Or, if youre in a relationship where both partners work, run the numbers for only one of the two incomes. No, you wont be able to afford a big mortgage if you do what Im recommending. But you know what? You wont feel pinched by your mortgage payments. And youll be at much less risk the next time the housing market implodes. Best of all, you can plow all of the money youve saved on housing into a building a ginormous wealth snowball! https://www.getrichslowly.org/how-much-house/

[survivorcordillerablanca]

Episode 4 Confessionals

RTP is a monster. Anyway, we fucking crushed that immunity. I wanted Jordan pines voted out. I've only ever played one org with him and he was my nemesis and I just don't have the mental capacity to deal with a nemesis in this one. Why couldn't Willa have done better

we won the music video.. and my ass edited a full video plus a roast after never using adobe premiere before so im pretty shook!! our tribe definitiely seems more... "kumbaya" than the other tribe which... eh. i want the drama! but other than that our tribes good. i def feel like ive been getting complacent with talking to people so im gonna start trying to ramp back up my social game to how it was in the first round hopefully?? i need to start talking more and making bonds. (not much i can really do though, willow katie and chris are on the bottom) i just have to ensure theyre still on the bottom and hopefully keep katie safe for me to work with?? willow and chris can go i guess. also charlotte can go too tbh. like id prefer me/bryce/zach/katie over me/bryce/zach/charlotte but a returnees alliance is easier to put together, so ill work with charlotte!! idk why i dont wanna work with her i just dont get a good vibe from her?? sounds dumb but im trying to trust my gut. and ... yeah not much has happened and i dont wanna make major waves just yet.

Free rice is so fun and not having to do grammar? Amazing! Hope I can do well in this challenge to show I'm useful. I feel like their isn't a lot of socializing happening on our tribe but I'm gonna try to change that. katieare propane torches dangerous? I want to go get one at home depot today. katiehere is my second confessional: charlotte seems chill I wonder if she will work with me in this game?

WILLA IS FINALLY GONE. God I can't believe he didn't compete in a single challenge and managed to not get first boot. We did Emma so dirty, I can't believe it, bring her back. Anyway, going in this reward challenge I'm not too fussed about whether we win or not, it would be nice to see what the Wishing Well is all about but eh, I'm not too fussed. Immunity is what I really want because now that we got rid of the dead weight I think the fingers may start to pointed at the winners AKA me and Jay. We have enough votes to tie it since Jordan is with us. We could potentially swing Adam but he's very much linked with Ryan who is linked with Lexi so it's...a mess. No tribal pls @ immunity gods!

Wow we won another challenge. Is the other tribe even trying? I didn't want to submit too much in case I seemed like a threat so I'm happy that I didn't do the most and we still won. I never find anything in the wishing well tho. Wish I knew who was picking the right number. But focusing on the positive, we won again!! ryan matthewi literally don't know what to do if we go to tribal. i won't want the full jordan pines experience to be blindsided by him. obviously lexi and i are a duo so im hoping we have options if that happens....

So I was looking over my Malaysia confessionals for some reason. What started as me trying to find my FTC speech turned into me reliving horrible and painful memories of Mitchell Kalabang calling me an idiot in many creative ways. Anyways, the reason I mention this is because I noticed that I made a lot of good, detailed confessionals in that game and I want to make sure I can do the same here for Athena. Well as of now, I think I'm in an okay position. I make a bit of chit chat with everyone now and again. I'll need to step that up today though just in case we go to tribal. I admit I've been slacking in my relationships with anyone who's name doesn't rhyme with Pordan Jines. I did congratulate Ryan on winning Kvaløya and told Adam that I'm not gonna vote him out, so that's something. Lexi also came to me and was like "I promise I'll do better on the challenge next time." Like I'm some authority on effort. Ryan probably told her that I was a little annoyed that no one tried in the video challenge. To sum it up, Jordan Pines will always be targeted before me so I am perfectly content letting him take the reins for the time being. I have decent relationships with Ryan and Adam. Lexi is with Ryan for sure. And Luke sketches me out just like every other game I've played with him. I hope we win immunity. 

So we need to win this immunity or we fucked. Like it just doesn't make sense to me. On this tribe we have me jay luke ryan and adam. In theory we should never lose a challenge, but theory is dumb and we lose everything. Like we've managed to keep a cohesive group that i honestly think genuinly likes each other but like, if we lose its all over. If we win this immunity we can hopefully swap and go into it 6-6 and maybe bring katie over to our side. If we lose however everything is done. We go into what may be a divided tribal and lose any hope of keeping a tight 6. We can't lose. Dear god let us win immunity BryceCurrently I'm worried about Zach/Charlotte but I still trust them just something to look out for. Hoping we can win this immunity but if not I think I'd want chris or willow out probably but I'd fall back on my alliance with Zach/Charlotte/Carson

So of course our next immunity is a typing challenge. With this other tribe as insanely fast at typing as they are, I'm really not liking our chances at winning this immunity. I've been pretty busy the past couple of days so I feel like I may be in trouble if we lose.

wait i did that wrong; Katie Shoots Target # sorry i wasnt here on time

I love nothing more than a true underdog story. Zach and Bryce came in the fucking CLUTCH and pulled out that win for us. I can't believe it. In all my days of winning immunity challenges with a tribe, this is probably my favorite one. I'm so happy. I genuinely like everyone on my tribe and I'm so happy we aren't splitting up. Cue RTP laughing at this confessional because we're probably gonna have a swap next.

LOOK AT US WINNING IMMUNITY. SAFETY IS A GOOD COLOR ON ULTA!!!!!

Like ik im probs jinxing something but this game is boring nobody wants to talk game. also everyone just ends conversations after they respond to how are you, and i try and make  small talk... like?? whatevs. im focusing on this game and i rlly wanna make merge. (also zach + bryce killed it woo i love them) nothing is rlly happening in this game which sucks. i predict that therell be a swap next round which is.. eh?? idk how i feel about that but im hoping i wont be swapfucked. (also i think im acc becoming good friends with zach and im happy hes gr8!!)

Wow me and Zach scoring all the points is good. I don't want to be seen as a challenge threat tho in case we swap and I'm somehow not in numbers. It's odd how like everyone hounds Jordan Pines and I can't tell if its jokingly or if hes enemy number 1 FJSDFHSJDF. I'm glad to not go to tribal and to have a 7-5 advantage. Whenever I talk to Willow we talk about nothing for like 2 minutes and thats it. Hasn't eaten meatloaf wish I were her, but hasn't had enchiladas? suspicious... Maybe shes vegan but even still how can I trust someone who doesn't know the goodness of an enchilada. Really wish I had some idea what was happening with the other tribe. Not being in a one world situation is different and I wish I could talk to them more to get a better picture seeing as how I'm going in blind if we swap/merge. Anyways that's all for now

I am well and truly fucked. I slept through all of my alarms last night and ended up missing the immunity challenge which we LOST. Guess what the agenda for the last two people who were voted off was? They didn't compete in challenges. Guess what I just didn't do? COMPETE IN A FUCKING CHALLENGE. God I'm so screwed. My only hope right now is that Jordan and Jay don't hate me enough to vote with me and try and break up the duo of Ryan and Lexi. I'm going to have to pray that Adam will want to work with me too otherwise the vote will tie and I do NOT trust Jay enough to go to rocks for me. Jordan might do that but I don't trust Jay at all to risk his life like that for me. I have a lot of work to put into today so...pray for me. 

WE WON IMMUNITYT! I'm so happy, i need to make two confessionals so this is one: im so happy i pulled through. I tried so hard to focus and make sure we didn't go to tribal because genuinely I like everyone on our tribe andd i'd feel bad voting anyone tbh. im not best socially right now and i think i need to use this time critically. I PROMISE ILL MAKE BETTER ONES NEXT ROUND HEHE

tribe assessment: bryce-  iconic king. he's good at challenges, and i think him and i are semi close. i'm down for working w him and i think he's a good asset carson - my favourite i guess? im closest to him, him and i talk a LOT, and he's super fun and social. i'm a lil worried down the road ideally because of his social game, but for now he's an ally charlotte - her and i are in two games together, so it's risky. i trust her and like her, but our social game w/ one another isn't like phenomenal or anything. She is super sweet Chris - Like... him and I talk a fair amount, not a lot, but he's super cool. I love his puppy (or whoevers puppy that is) and i think he's super sweeet katie - similar as Chris. her and I dont talk a LOT but shes really cool and i think she's a good asset challenge-wise. willow- i love her she's so sweet but she never replies (or often, at least) so RIP! I do think ill end up working w her down the road though, she's a queen -- overall i do like everyone so going to tribal would be awful because i have to vote one out. BUT, theres been speculation on an upcoming swap too... so that's intense. but, nonetheless, im here for twists!

Nope. Thats all i got to say. Like we should have won that. and we didnt and now im mad. And we had a good group of 6 like it was the perfect group of people. But no. We now have to go down to 5 and fuck this up. So thanks RTP. Thanks a lot. Adam might go, he might now? i dont know. I dont care. Just give us a win please.

I'm trying to get the vote on Adam and I feel like even tho jay and Jordan agreed, just the way their talking to me making sure everything's alright with the plan and the fact Adam hasn't tried to PM me I feel like they're just lying

Ok so this is my immunity challenge confessional. We never win reward so i knew we were probably doomed and will never see the wishing well. but i didnt really care about reward. NOW FOR IMMUNITY. im alittle nervous because i feel like since we got rid of the non actives i'm the next in line. So i did my best for the immunity challenge. I mean i got 2 out of the 4 points we scored so i did half the work which in my opinion shows i care a bit. we were in the lead and then the other tribes whole fucking tribe comes out of nowhere and kicks our ass and im just like .....bye

Ok this is my before tribal council confessional. So after we lost ryan created an alliance with me,himself,jay, and jordan. which ok i dont trust jordan that much but i gotta take what i can get. They all want adam out even tho luke didnt do shit for the challenge. Which i like adam but not enough to try to switch the vote. So i prevoted adam but ryan and i feel like some shady shit may happen and one of us will go since people know were best friends. I'll raise hell if ryan goes and hopefully he'd do the same if i go. But i guess we'll see

Man this idol is gonna be so hard to find asdjkfadjsk wish their were hints to it AdamIt sucks that we lost the challenge. I didn't help much more than trying a few times in the beginning. I think I'll like it better when I can do individual challenges, cuz then I only have me to do the challenge so if I don't do it its just skin off my back. I have to make it there first, and that requires good relations with my tribemates, so I can't slack off anymore if I want to maintain that. I hope a swap comes soon, but not with the numbers stacked against Copa tribe members :/

I don't know what I'm going to do about tribal. I voted Luke but it really blows that we lost because I really liked all my teammates. I guess that's on me, maybe I shoulda done better and then we wouldn't be down a tribemate. Consequences and junk. I hope I'm not getting blindsided. I wouldn't put it past Jordan but it seems early in the game for that when we could be really good allies. Just depends if he trusts me I guess. I'm a loyal as fuck though, so I'm gonna make Jordan my main bitch this time. Only depends on if I'm his main bitch. Let's see if we go far together

Hahahahahahahahahahaha I found the idol. But its like one world style or w/e b/c I found the copa idol. And I had to give it to someone without knowing them and without them knowing i sent it. Thats unfortunate b/c I could bond with them but I guess if me and Luke are ever on the same tribe I can let him know and work with him. I was thinking Zach and Charlotte were really close but Charlotte didn't know about the idol map so maybe they aren't. But yaa I just asked my alliance to tell me who to give it to because I have no idea about any of those people having never played with them. Carson initially wanted me to give it to Jay O but then I decided to ask my whole alliance for input to try to make it seem like I'm close with them and want to stay together, which I did. And that's when they said lets give it to Luke. Also Anyone But Jordan Pines 2k17 which made me laugh

OKAY! I FORGOT TO DO ONE BUT ITS RIGHT AFTER TRIBAL SO HERE I AM! Adam is gone. Good. Me, Pines, Ryan, and Lexi are aligned. Meh, at best. If we lose, the original group of me Pines and Luke will split up their duo. Go us!

Did I do a confessional already? I have no idea. I'm in three games. Sue me. We won immunity this week so TBH I stopped paying attention after that happened. BUT HEY, APPARENTLY YOU CAN SEARCH FOR IDOLS AND I DIDN'T KNOW OOPS. Fuck, I'm the worst. How am I still here?

[themoneybuff-blog]

"How much house can I afford?"

How much house can I afford? Answering this question correctly is one of the keys to building a happy, wealthy life. Unfortunately, theres a vast housing industry in the U.S. thats geared toward providing the wrong answer. You see, housing is by far the largest expense in most peoples budgets. According to the U.S. governments 2016 Consumer Expenditure Survey, the average American family spends $1573.83 on housing and related expenses every month. Thats more than they spend on food, clothing, healthcare, and entertainment put together! Too many folks struggling to make ends meet focus their attention on fine-tuning their budget. They try to save big bucks by clipping coupons, growing their own food, and/or making their own clothes. While theres nothing wrong with frugal habits I applaud everyday thriftiness! all of these actions combined wont (and cant) have the same impact on your budget as keeping your housing payments affordable. Part of the problem is what I call the Real-Estate Industrial Complex, each piece of which has a vested interest in convincing consumers that bigger, more expensive homes are better. Real-estate agents, mortgage brokers, home-shopping shows, and glossy magazines all encourage folks to buy at the top end of their budget. But buying at the top end of your housing budget is dangerous. Buying a home is a huge decision, financially and otherwise. If youre going to purchase a place, its important to know how much house you can truly afford.

Debt-to-Income Ratio Economists have used decades of financial stats to create computer models to predict how much people can afford to spend on housing and debt. Banks use these models to figure out how much they think you can afford to spend on housing. Traditionally, lenders use whats called a debt-to-income ratio (or DTI ratio) a measure of how much of your income goes toward debt every month to estimate how much you can afford to pay for a home without risk of defaulting. This might sound complicated, but its not. To find this ratio, divide your monthly debt payments by your gross (pre-tax) income. So, for example, if you pay $400 toward debt every month and you have an income of $4000, then your DTI ratio is 10%. If you pay $800 toward debt on a $4000 income, your DTI ratio is 20%. The lower your debt-to-income ratio, the better. Banks and mortgage brokers look at two numbers when deciding how much to loan: The front-end DTI ratio (sometimes called the housing expense ratio), which includes only your housing expenses: mortgage principle, interest, taxes, and insurance.The back-end DTI ratio (also known as the total expense ratio), which include all of the above plus other debt payments like auto loans, student loans, and credit cards. The key thing to understand about debt-to-income ratios is that theyre used to estimate the lenders risk, not yours. That is, your mortgage company uses them to check whether they think youll be able to make the payments not whether you can comfortably make the payments. If you want room in your budget for fun, you should opt for a lower debt-to-income ratio than your real-estate agent and mortgage broker say you can use. If youre a money nerd, you can read more about debt-to-income ratios at Fannie Maes website. How Much House Can You Afford? During the 1970s (before credit-card debt was common), DTI wasnt split between front-end and back-end. There was only one ratio, and it was 25%. If your mortgage, taxes, and insurance costs were less than 25% of your income, people assumed you could make the payment. This is still an excellent rule of thumb: Spend no more than 25% of your budget on housing. (In fact, this is the number that money guru Dave Ramsey advocates.) That said, debt-to-income guidelines have relaxed over the years. When my ex-wife and I bought our first home in 1993, our mortgage broker told us that our front-end DTI ratio had to be 28% or lower, meaning we couldnt pay any more than 28% of our gross income toward housing. The back-end DTI ratio was capped at 36%, which meant that our housing expenses and other debt payments combined couldnt be more than 36% of our income.When my ex-wife and I bought a new home in 2004, the accepted DTI ratios had grown by 5%. That 28% figure is outdated, we were told. Most people can go as high as 33%. The back-end ratio had been raised to 38%.According to the Fannie Mae website, in 2018 maximum back-end DTI ratios are up to 45% (and sometimes even 50%). These numbers are insane. Nobody should be spending half of their gross income on debt not even mortgage debt! Thats a recipe for financial disaster. Heres a little table I whipped up to show what sort of housing payment youd be looking at based on your pre-tax income (the left-hand column) and various debt-to-income ratios (the header row):

A 5% increase in your debt-to-income ratio might not seem like a big deal. But when youre talking about a house payment, its huge. In 2016, the average American household earned $74,664 before taxes. Using this, a 5% change would be $3733.20 per year or $311.10 per month. Many folks lost their homes during the housing crisis because they took on mortgage payments that were just $300 more than they could afford each month. Real-Life Examples When my ex-wife and I moved in 2004, our housing payments went from around $1200 per month to roughly $1600 per month. This $400 per month difference was enough to make me panicked about money. Similarly, my youngest brother made the mistake of believing the banks when they told him he could afford a big housing payment. He could at first. But when the financial crisis hit in 2008 and 2009, he was screwed. Because hed bought at the top end of his budget, when his income faltered, so did his ability to pay his mortgage. He lost his home to foreclosure. For the most part, banks are happy to lend you as much money as you want. (Within reason, of course, and if your credit is good.) Theyre not going to stop you from taking on more debt if their computer models say you can afford it. Its up to you to exercise caution. In The Automatic Millionaire Homeowner, David Bach writes [emphasis is mine]: You should generally assume that the amount the bank or mortgage company will loan you is more than you should borrowDont fool around with this. Do the math. Be realistic about your situation. Dont pretend youre in better shape than you are. Remember: Nobody cares more about your money than you do. Your real-estate agent, mortgage broker, and bank all have a vested interest in encouraging you to buy as much house as possible their incomes depend on it. Listen to what they have to say, but make your decision based on whats best for you. Playing House If you think youre ready to buy a house, take a few months to do a trial run. In The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke, Suze Orman says that you should play house before you buy a house. I like this idea. Heres how it works: Figure out how much you think you can afford to pay for a home every month, including mortgage and maintenance. Lets use $1750 as an example.Subtract the amount youre currently paying for housing. If your rent (or current mortgage) is $1000 per month, youd subtract this from our hypothetical $1750 to get $750 per month.Open a new, separate savings account. On the first day of each of the next six months, stick $750 into this account. This exercise lets you experience what its like to make a higher housing payment. If you cant make these numbers work, Orman says you need to wait: If you miss one payment, or if you are consistently late in making the payments, you are not ready to buy a home. If you can handle the extra payments, then youve got the thumbs-up to start looking for a home to buy. Generally speaking, once youve saved 20% for a down payment and you can afford monthly mortgage payments, youre ready to start looking for a home. Yes, you can buy a home with a smaller down payment I bought my first place with a 2% down payment! but itll cost you in the long run. Youll need to carry private mortgage insurance (PMI), youll pay more in interest, and you could put yourself in a position where you cant afford to keep your home.

The Bottom Line Homebuyers are often told to buy as much house as you can afford. But the problem with this advice is that it leaves you without a buffer. What if you lose your job? What if youre forced to sell your home after housing prices have dropped? Instead of buying as much house as you can afford, buy only as much house as you need. Think of conventional debt-to-income ratios as ceilings, not targets. Give yourself margin for error. Instead of basing your home-buying budget on a 36% front-end DTI ratio, consider dropping that to 28%. Or, better yet, 25% (just like the olden days!). If you have an average U.S. household income of around $75,000, a 36% DTI ratio would lead you to budget $2250 per month for housing (assuming you have no other debt). If you were to go with a more conservative 25% DTI ratio, that budget would be $1563 per month. Thats a savings of $687 per month over $8000 per year! Just think: What could you do with a chunk of change like that? Another way to create a buffer is to base your budget on your net (take-home) pay instead of your gross pay. Or, if youre in a relationship where both partners work, run the numbers for only one of the two incomes. No, you wont be able to afford a big mortgage if you do what Im recommending. But you know what? You wont feel pinched by your mortgage payments. And youll be at much less risk the next time the housing market implodes. Best of all, you can plow all of the money youve saved on housing into a building a ginormous wealth snowball! https://www.getrichslowly.org/how-much-house/