#Vroog

[messinwitheddie]

Gir "I missed you! You dropped off the face of the empire! Where have you been?"

Vroog "I decided not to try out for the elite rank and enlisted as a mortuary drone. I'm training on the cadaver assembly lines with the pak techs on KryptKii-Purr 5."

Gir "How is it?"

Vroog "Busy, and smelly but quiet. I love it there! Are you still in the Culinary culinary ops?"

Gir "Yeah! I'm frylord Sizz-Lorr's apprentice!"

Vroog "That's awesome!"

Gir "Wow, I almost didn't recognize you."

Vroog "The Red Brain approved my gender re-encoding. I'm officially female now."

Gir "That's awesome!"

[When you run into an old friend at work.

Poor Vroog. She was an old oc of mine I made eons ago (8th grade maybe?) A he then. He was pushed into the background after developing other ocs and was resurrected when ETF came out with the intent of fleshing him out more...

But she faded into the background again, but I think it was just because she figured herself out sooner than most of my other ocs. ]

[daitranscripts]

The Descent Conversation

Renn

The Descent Masterpost

Renn: I've been meaning to ask, Inquisitor: Skyhold. How does it… well, hold in the sky?

Varric: (Chuckles.) The old "fall into the sky" routine.

Renn: How do you keep it from floating away?

PC: It's built into a mountain…

Renn: Ah, held by the Stone, then.

Spoken to again Renn: Best way to get out darkspawn stains? Vroog. It’s a Legion secret.

General greeting Renn: Stone-met, Inquisitor.

1 - Dialogue options:

Investigate: Let’s discuss the Legion. [2]

Investigate: You fought in the Blight? [3]

Investigate: You seem close with Valta. [4]

General: We’ll talk later. [5]

2 - Investigate: Let’s discuss the Legion. PC: I’d like to know more about the Legion of the Dead. Renn: The Legion's pretty straightforward. We keep the darkspawn out of Orzammar. And we're sodding good at it. Becoming a legionnaire is a lifelong oath. One that can't be broken. We celebrate our own funerals before coming to the Deep Roads. As far as our families and Orzammar are concerned, we're already dead. Hence the name.

Dialogue options:

Special: You can’t return to Orzammar?

[Back to 1]

6 - Special: You can’t return to Orzammar? PC: That’s quite the commitment. Renn: It isn't a glamorous life. Every legionnaire has their own reasons for joining. From the common criminal to the deep lord with illusions of grandeur, all are accepted. PC: What about you? Why did you join? Renn: I had a responsibility. [back to 1]

3 - Investigate: You fought in the Blight? PC: Shaper Valta said you're a veteran of the Blight. Renn: Hmph. I was a wet-nosed recruit. PC: But you survived. Renn: Swing your axe long enough, you're bound to hit something. PC: You must have racked up a few stories. Renn: Hmph. Maybe when this is all over, I'll have the time and ale to tell them. Valta: Most of Renn's stories end with decapitation. Renn: I’m an efficient guy. [back to 1]

4 - Investigate: You seem close with Valta. PC: A historian and a a soldier. That’s an unlikely friendship. Renn: What makes you think we’re friends? PC: The bickering. Renn: (Chuckles.) Fair enough. Valta's got the stones of a Silent Sister. Doesn't mean I won't give her a hard time. [back to 1]

5 - General: We’ll talk later. PC: Thanks for your time.

[a-wanderin-whirlybird]

Out of curiosity, are Hive Octave & Hive Cadaver connected in any way or no?

Ah sorry this took a bit! To begin these his are connected to @messinwitheddie 18 Years Later AU, and Vroog is a part of that!

Octave and Hive Cadaver are not connected in the way you would think. Hive Cadaver came about around the second era as some dissatisfied morgue Drones from various hives broke away to give the proper rites to the dead after a massive battle. The battlefield had been left with hundreds of thousands of corpses strewn around in the sun and the Drones worked tirelessly day and night to bury every single one. It took years but over time more priests and mortuary drones came to assist and eventually a young Cadet with the Tall mutation joined them. They formed a Hive and built their home on that Battlefield and swore an oath to Lady Death and the Weaver to forever up hold honor in life and death. They next day a swarm was born with the third eye mutation, a gift from Lady death to ensure they could keep their oath.

Hive Octave is connected to Hive Cadaver in later years when one New Years a merchant group from Hive Sol, one of the 2 remaining Hive from the Five Star Alliance, were staying at Hive Cadaver. They kept the Hive Octave traditions of conversing with the dead every New Years and introduced it to Hive Cadaver. Sadly Hive Sol and Hive Opal were wiped out by plague only a few generations later and they were VERY protective of their history so Hive Cadaver never learned where or how these traditions came to be. The merchants also taught them some of the old weaving techniques and how to make better embalming fluids!

In the modern era as Fifi and Tallest Delta watch over Irk as vest they can, Delta meets Pitch briefly, Tallest Aria's wife. It is on New Years and Fifi takes Delta away from the Smeeteries for once to meet Pitch as Vroog had taken her to Gir's Cantina. Putch is shocked they know her Hives traditions and when she gets the story explains that they came from the Alliance and gives them some more information. She also gives Fifi some DNA from herself to work into the Smeeteries at their request. As I headcanon Purple is depended from Hive Octave Founder Tallest Octavius, there was some recessive genes from Hive Octave already in the systems but it was a 1 in a trillion chance any of it would show. Purple is one of those very rare cases. After Fifi gets the DNA into the system more traits from Hive Octave begin to show. Eventually more DNA from the Five Star Alliance shows up after Zim locates the Vault of the Irken Rainbow, a Vault containing DNA samples from all over Ancient Irk, this also includes flora and Fauna. But that takes a while. I hope this helped!

[hubbienl]

Oeëts vroog ik aan eine wieze man: "Waat is wiechtiger? Des dich van emes hels, of det d’r emes is dae van dich helt” Hae zag: "Waat is wiechtiger veur eine vogel? De linker of de rechter vleugel?" https://www.instagram.com/p/CRS0JZIlqDp/?utm_medium=tumblr

[messinwitheddie]

If you ever watch the movie *A bugs life* I can’t help but headcanon Lich’s voice as Hopper cuz he’s a bully and a boss man.😅 especially the last scene where the ants finally are fed up with him and face him for being a tyrant that he is.

That's awesome you have a voice you can hear for Lich. I haven't watched a Bugs Life in a long time, but I liked the movie as a little kid. I can see the parallels with the characters.

Originally, when I first came up with the concept of Lich's character (Can’t even remember what I originally named him. Maybe it was the same name. Can’t remember. Wow…

Either way, Lich's original backstory/ role in a fanfic [I won't name because I wrote it in middle school and it was AWFUL], was very different from what it is now. The plot of the fuc was a ripoff of the movie ,“Heavy Metal” so Ronnie James Dio or Alice Cooper were the two voices I usually associated him with. "The Mob Rules" and "The Black Widdow" are Lich's theme songs.

BUT Kevin Spacey's voice fits Lich very well, now that you pointed it out.

He is oozing with Hopper vibes.

If I had an obscene amount of money to spend, I would hire these voice actors/actresses/ singers (resurrect them from the grave if necessary) to play my ocs and/or Characters from Invader Zim that never officially were assigned hired voice actors.

At least most of my Irken ocs have voices picked out.

Pepperoncini: Sir Christopher Lee (?) Earle Hyman (?) Even those two would have to pitch their voices lower and more gravely. Cini's voice, especially in his later years, is very, VERY deep and ravaged by centuries of smoking pipe amber. I guess the contrast in his bright, lighthearted, bubbly personality amuses me.

I can’t think of a voice that perfectly matches the voice Cini has in my head. Any suggestions would be welcome.

I loosely based his personality on Phyllis Diller and Vincent Price, to give an idea of his mannerisms.

Spinch: Martha Kelly (so shy)

Hoola: Eric Bauza (His personality is based on Daffy Duck, though lacking in WB toon antics and the lisp.)

Mem: Bette Midler (first choice), possibly Kathy Bates or Meryl Streep

Some of Mem's swarm I have casted

Handoverfist aka Hof: Eugene Mirman

Ferocity: Betsy Sodaro

Skathe: Jenny Slate

Starboard: John Fiedler

Zee: Jillian Bell

Rook/ the Sage: Originally I imagined John Cleese playing Rook, at least in Rook's older years (because he was based on the Monty Python’s Holy Grail Tim the Enchanter) or Suzy Izzard.

But again, now that you pointed out the parallels, David Foley fits pretty well too.

Miyuki: I'm sure plenty of people would disagree with me, but I think Cher (or at least a younger Cher), Lynne Lipton (again, younger), or Cree Summer would make great choices for Miyuki.

Kii: Can't get Melissa Fahn's voice out of my head for her, but any suggestions are welcome. Maybe Doro Pesch.

Soxx: Percy Rodriguez (would have to bring him back from the dead)

Hitz: Richard Romanus

Spork: Lorenzo Music (I just do)

Commander Poki: Brooke Dillman (I love that woman's voice. Boss as shit.)

Frylady Soo-Garr: Kristin Chenoweth or Grey DeLisle. Either. Either or would pull off her vindictive personality perfectly.

Pielord Emis-Gee: Ron Funches

Brewmaster Shakkin: Christopher McCulloch

Yeet: Hong Chau (so spunky!)

Vroog: Billie Mae Richards or Maria Bamford for a living person to play her.

Irken Gir would be played by Rosearik Rikki Simons, just no synthesizers or anything.

This is not a complete list by far. If you’re curious about any of ocs that I didn’t list, you can ask about or make suggestions.

Hearing the voices helps develop the character for me

[messinwitheddie]

do you think irkens would be startled (and envious) by just how open and liberal humans are about touch and pda? i love the idea that you could just gently hold an irken and they just go 🥺 and melt~

Ahhhhh!!!

I had a real in-depth post about these exact head canons and I cannot find it and my memory is screwed!!

I remember rambling on about how, in Irken culture, huddling for warmth/protection is socially acceptable but hugging privately/ for the sake of pleasure or comfort is not. Context is everything.

Complimenting an Irken in a group setting is their preferred form of pda. BUT--

It would probably depend on the individual Irken how shocked, envious or repulsed they would be by human touch/ pda. Like humans, some Irkens have a higher threshold for that sort of thing than others..

I imagine the act of kissing in public would freak them out more than anything else they observe us doing. Seems germy.

Almost all gestures a human defines as romantic are taboo to Irkens ( because engaging in a romantic relationship implies the lovers are more loyal to each other than the empire, which is defective thinking. Plus the possibility of unauthorized smeets roaming the population and a list of other issues...)

Romance is so taboo to Irkens, most wouldn't even recognize a romantic gesture if they witnessed one.

Any hush-hush Irken couple would be deeply envious of human courtship/ intimacy. Just being able to say "I love you" to someone infront of others seems daring to them.

Despite this, Irkens are social by nature. Most genuinely enjoy group activities. They enjoy sitting close to one another, chatting, snacking, reading the looks in each other's eyes and so on.

An ongoing meme for Irken cadets is to pile as many drones on a couch as physically possible.

Again, context is everything to an Irken. In human company, some Irkens might fail to understand the concept of personal space/boundaries because they are used to interacting such dense crowds.

Some would be a little confused by human pda, platonic or otherwise.

Some Irkens would recoil in disgust. They would be absolutely fine with never experiencing a warm hug.

But most would embrace it instantly and totally melt even if they refuse to admit it at first. ^^.

Take chances. Hug an Irken.

[messinwitheddie]

i know this isnt even remotely realistic but i imagined soxx and the master pak techs being like a group of rowdy teenagers and their curmudgeonly guardian trying to corral them lmao. they witness a sick burn and start howling and running around, overreacting, while soxx roars "NO! do NOT encourage them!"

Vroog "I probably won't get to speak to a master PAK tech until I earn my internship on the Massive. I haven't met any of the master PAK techs on KryptKiiPur-1 yet. That's the death factory planet stationed closest to Irk. They work in the control brain chambers. That's all the way down towards the factory's core, from what my mortuary trainer tells me.

I started the hands-on portion of my training on the autopsy line. That's just below the surface. I've never seen the purple brain in person. Sometimes you can hear him processing or singing. No drone employed on a death factory planet is permitted to speak above a whisper, so it's easy to hear the purple brain when you're lost in thought. I like it when I can hear him. He sounds lonely to me though...

Occasionaly we do have "freaks outs" in the factory. When an Irken is demoted for poor performance in one job, the red brain will assign them another job involving something they hate, dread or fear. Some of our part time help are not mortuary students. They've just been assigned here to do grunt work because they fear the thought or sight of death (cleaning the industrial crematoriums and the conveyor belts, sorting corpses at drop off, placing cadavers back on the assembly lines if they flop off. Stuff like that). My trainer calls these squeamish drones "squeamees". They have to be rounded up, disciplined and drug back to their post if they have a bad episode. I wish I knew what to say to make the squeamees more at ease on the factory floor.

Personally, I like the job so far. It's peaceful, but fast paced. Some of the sights and smells take getting used to, but my stomach is stronger than my supervisors expect. Most of other mortuary drones and entry level PAK techs are a really outgoing, friendly swarm of drones. During our personal hours off, they all shoot off to Foodcourtia or Casino Major or wherever for snacks, shopping and videogames. Being around death so much actually encourages us to go out and live when our schedules permits it. I was actually invited to go crater sliding and wing diving on the surface at the end of this shift by a bunch of my co-students. Sounds terrifying; can't wait!

I better not talk too much about it or my trainer will lecture us. He's served on KryptkiiPur-1 for centuries. He's due for a promotion. If he gets encoded as one of the master PAK techs, I will ask him what it's like below with the purple brain... Now I'm really curious myself.

[messinwitheddie]

i have a confession to make. i enjoy watching try not to laugh/contagious laughter/perfectly cut scream video compilations and pretending they're surviving relics of elite training irkens being off the shits during downtime.

Young Irkens-in-training are an interesting lot when given free time to enjoy themselves and the company of their peers.

Elite cadet shenanigans would make for great streaming content ^^.

[messinwitheddie]

physically i am a loyal irken soldier for the empire but spiritually i am lying face-down in a puddle in the parking lot of space Denny's

That's a powerful statement. A lot of Irkens are marching around the empire feeling the same way or very similar to how you feel.

I'm not sure what stage of life you're experiencing right now; whether you're a young cadet just starting out, trying to find your place in this empire...

Or an active soldier or service drone who has lost their way

Or you found your way but it only lead to a seemingly meaningless routine that benefits only a cold, hungry system.

Maybe you're an older, experienced soldier who, after countless battles has not received the praise or glory they were promised by the empire.

Why do we bother? Who is this REALLY for? Am I oporating to my full potential? Could my full potential impact the universe around me in any significant way even if I did live up to it? Is it wrong of me to want more than what I'm given?

We ask ourselves, but block out the nagging question, because...we're Irken. We have our duties...

These feelings aren't strictly Irken either.

Your not alone.

[messinwitheddie]

(Decided to color before work. Looking forward to two days off in a row :DD Gonna draw!

(Irken) Kitchen intern Gir, sweet invader-in-training Yeet and terrain scout-in training, bright-eyed Vroog ^^.

Anyone have asks for these guys?

Slowly but surely chipping away at my ask box, but I'm a glutton.

[messinwitheddie]

Vroog "So that's where we all end up in the end, hu? The lucky ones?"

Zim "Don't think about that place. You're too full of life."

Vroog "It wasn't so scary...I kind of liked it. I think I want to be a mortuary drone."

Zim "Whaaaat? No! You don't want to drudge your life away removing PAKs and tossing corpses in the big centrifuge! You're too bright and happy-"

Vroog "I'm NOT happy!! I'm sad all the time! Well, sometimes, for brief, little moments I feel sort of happy...content maybe, but most of the time EVERYTHING about the universe around me just makes me want to cry. I don't think I'm programmed to be happy. I think this is how I'm going to be my whole life--"

Zim "You're too young to know that for sure."

Vroog "You said find work that has meaning to me... I watched the mortuary drones comfort those people on their way to the detaching station.... I'm going to wind up on KryptKii-PRR5 one day too. Hopefully when I'm on the converyorbelt a mortuary drone will bother to comfort me. I want to be of comfort to those about to die. That would mean something to me."

Zim "I...you... Oh no...What did I do to you!?"

Vroog "I'm serious, Zim! It's ok! I know what I want and I'm not afraid to go for it anymore because...No matter how many times I succeed or fail, I'll just end up in the death factory like the rest of the empire. That's a beautiful thing, don't you see that?"

Zim "STOP! Why do you keep listening to me?! I'm a disgrace and a defective! Don't listen to ME!!"

Vroog "But you're my friend."

Zim "Zim is NO ONE'S friend! Learn that lesson quick before I destroy your life!"

Vroog "My life could just as easily fall apart without ever knowing you. Maybe you don't want to be my friend. That's ok. I'm...pretty useless so I get it. I'm still going to be your friend."

Zim "No, you won't."

Vroog "You can't stop me."

Zim "You're a good soldier, Bright Eyes. Save your loyalty and friendship for people who deserves it."

(Inspired by @sicknastyjr 's of Miso, the mortuary service drone. I love Miso and the concept behind her occupation. My OC, Vroog would like to be encoded as a mortuary drone one day. ^^

There is a much longer story behind Zim/ Vroog's trip to emperial death factory. This is just part of the dialogue)

[messinwitheddie]

ZIIIIIIIM?!! Did you open my last box of snackie cakes...?

(Former Commander, now freelance personal trainer Poki will rip off your head over a snackie cake. Save them one ^^.)

[messinwitheddie]

Skoodge *inhales "Woo! That cruiser is SOOO not safe to pilot."

Zim "As long as it gets me out of the solar system, that's all I care about. Good work, Skoodge."

Skoodge "You're welcome. Glad I could help... Hey, I gotta take off and fill my quota. Tell Gir I said good luck at the big cook off. Wish I could stick around to watch it."

Zim "Personally I could do without watching poor Gir get batted around by a crew of behemoth cooks."

"Maybe you'll get lucky and Soo-Garr with have you thrown out of the arena."

Zim "I hope she slips on the kitchen floor and impales herself on a hot skewer; that stupid shmoopquizz on legs--"

Skoodge *chuckes* "That's horrible. You shouldn't call a frylady lady that."

Zim "You should have heard what I called her the other day. Rrrr...I HATE her and her conventionally pretty face and hideous soft lips!"

Skoodge "Soft lips? What are you--? You're acting unusually odd...or the usual amount of odd. I can't tell anymore. What have you been DOING the past 2 hours anyways?"

Zim "I'm looking for someone...and...there...he is!! HA HAAAA!! I'm amazing!"

Skoodge "Who is that?"

Zim "Retired Invader Ziss. Finally! I have a lock on his pitiful biosigniture!"

Skoodge "Wait, that's the conquerer of Canceree! Ziss is a legend."

Zim "He's a loathsome prick with much to answer for! Now that I can track his location, I'm going to find him and MAKE him SUFFER."

Skoodge "What? No, Zim, don't do that. Why would you do that?"

Zim "There's no talking me out if it now, Skoodge. He's already made an enemy of me."

Skoodge "What did he do to you?"

Zim "Nothing; it's what he did to Poki."

Skoodge "Oh no. What did he do to Poki?"

Zim "I don't know! But I'll rip a confession out of him if it's the last thing I do!"

Skoodge "Or-- OR... You could just forget Ziss ever existed and resist the impulse to do something we both know you'll regret. Hu?"

Zim "Oh, I assure you, I won't regret a single moment of tormenting this guy."

Skoodge "Is tormenting an old veteran going to fix anything or change anything?"

Zim "It will make ME feel better! I'm imperially shunned; I have NOTHING left to lose. I'm tired of people like HIM getting away with abusing people like US!! And I'm SICK of no one else being SICK OF IT!"

Skoodge "Shhh!! Bleep it Zim! I'm...I'm gonna head back to work and pretend I never engaged in this conversation. Have fun landing yourself in Mooping 10 for life."

Zim "OK! Have fun with your sad, unfulfilled service drone existence."

Skoodge "Hey, I'm not ashamed of how I earn a living! I......." *sigh* "I'm sick of the abuse and exploitation too. EVERYONE is! But we don't know what to do about it, ok?... Could you please consider NOT going through with this revenge scheme, whatever it is? PLEASE, just think things over tonight while you watch the cook off?"

Zim "...Okay, I'll think it over a little longer."

Skoodge "Neat...See you around, Zim. Take care of yourself..."

...a bottle of cyder later...

Zim "Ok, Skoodge, I've thought about it quite enough. I'm gonna go devistate this squak's whole universe."

***shortly later still***

Zim "Bright Eyes, that you?! You busy?!"

Vroog "--"

Zim "Didn't think so! Hop in!"

(Zim is still dwelling on Poki's war story. Skoodge making one last effort to be a friend to Zim and talk him out of doing...whatever he plans to do. Poor trainee Vroog is about to get dragged into the misadventure.

I've pretty much have the first part of this 18-years-later AU mapped out. (Except for Zim/Vroog's vengeance misadventure)

Gonna set these ideas aside and most likely start converting this mess into actual comic pages after the holidays. Might be starting a second job soon. Fingers crossed for a phone call today or tomorrow.

Meanwhile, my other AUs have been neglected. Gonna clean for a few hours and then see what else I can accomplish at the drawing desk.

Promise to go through my inbox soon.

Questions/ suggestions welcome.)

[messinwitheddie]

For the imperial pak technician, the one with vroog and hoola, is their any information on him or anything else he does aside his work? And if not, do you have anymore lore for them or just the rank as a whole.

The only person on the Massive that knows any personal information about that imperial PAK technician is Hoola, and that is only because Hoola has worked with him for so many centuries. The IPT rarely discusses himself or any personal opinions he has. He has been conditioned to keep all thoughts in his head.

For security purposes only the control brains are permitted to know his birth name. He has not been referred to by name since his occupational training days in the engineering academy. Since being promoted/ encoded as the Imperial PAK technician, his mouth was surgically sewn shut. He communicates through work related texts and some sign language.

He is roughly Hoola's age. After graduating from basic military training, he was accepted into an elite engineering academy with high stats where he earned his PAK Technician encoding. He was promoted to Imperial PAK Technician very early in his training. Tallest Lich had fired/ executed the former IPT along with 60% of his personal staff over the course of his reign. The only trainee brave enough to complete late Lich's upgrade was the current IPT.

Hoola met him after finally getting promoted to Imperial medic under late Miyuki. The IPT's ability to dedicate his entire self to his occupation impressed Hoola, but also depresses him. Occassionally Hoola would make small talk with the IPT. He convinced the IPT to remove his helmet a few times. They have engaged in casual conversation over the years.

The IPT is actually very easy going, provided the quality of his work doesn't slip. His emotional state at any given point is impossible to read. Nothing really shocks or bothers him by this point.

For short time the two discreetly dated. Hoola suggested they move in together before officially retiring, but he worked up the nerve to ask too late. The IPT rejected the offer/ ended the relationship.

The current IPT recently accepted a new assignment to a nearby death factory. Once the red brain finalizes his new encoding and assigns a replacement IPT to the Massive, he will join the purple brain's personal task force. His PAK will be telepathically linked to the purple brain and he will directly serve, maintain, and protect the purple brain until his natural death.

To Irkens, this is the honorable choice. The empire always comes first. Hoola understands, but is still disappointed... maybe heartbroken. Losing the IPT convinces Hoola it's time to retire himself.

(Someday I will learn how to draw smooth lines with my tablet.)

[messinwitheddie]

if your irken ocs listened to urth music, what genres do you think they'd like?

Ooh man, I would love to go through the list of ocs, but that would be overkill.

I'll list off a few.

(Irken) Gir introduces all kinds of human top-of-the-charts pop, rave, ska hip hop ect music to his friends. Gir loves dance music especially (any music fun to dance to). He teaches Yeet, Vroog and the other cadets his age dozens of popular earth dances (from up until the mid 2000s anyways. Gir's Playlist is a little outdated, at least for a while.)

Tallest Pepperoncini died centuries before the human species was known to any Irken (that we are aware of).

But since his death, I like to imagine Cini has met many famous deceased human artists, acrobats and musicians.

He enjoys coming up with new trapeze acts to human performers, if they choose to collaborate with him.

"Drum Master Nealpeart", to name just one, has had the pleasure of performing with Cini.

(I would like to apologize to Neal Peart, his family and to Rush for this) ^^;

I would be happy to make this an ask meme;

Name one of my Irken ocs and what human music would they enjoy?

[messinwitheddie]

Soo.... How long has Soo Garr to live? Yanno, before Zim exacts revenge on GIR's behalf?

Announcer "Also working diligently in the Massive's great industrial kitchen is Gir; newly appointed apprentice to Frylord Sizz-Lorr of Foodcourtia! He's quickly making himself known in the culinary ops and famous among the elite. Greetings, young Gir!"

Gir "Hi there!!"

Announcer "May we have a quick word with you?"

Gir "Uh hu, sure! I just have to pay attention to the timers."

Announcer "Understandable. Gir, are you excited to be assisting all the culinary masters in catering the jubilee celebration?"

Gir "Aaaand How! I've never cooked this much this many hours in a row before. I'm trying my hardest to make everything on the menue REAL good! The frylords have combined their best staff-- Hi Gashloog!!"

Gashloog "Hi, Gir!"

Gir "I'm on TV, look!"

Gashloog "I know; that's awsome!!"

Gir "--so we have tons of good help. It's a dream come true to cook beside all the old-school masters in one kitchen! Brewmaster Shakkin and PieLord Emmis- Gee are real nice. Emmis split a brownie with me!"

Announcer "Uh-- that's great! Most of the other frylords are excited to work with you too, Gir. Frylady Soo-Garr being the exception. Is it true you originally began basic culinary training under her?"

Gir "For almost 18 years on Conventia."

Announcer "Do you care to speculate why she terminated your internship?"

Gir "Well...I'm kind of clumsy and a slow learner. I'm frustrating to manage and she already had a lot to deal with in her Patisserie. Mommy--er-- Lady Soo-Garr and I have very different personalities and palates. I just wasn't the right drone to be her apprentice. I'm sure someone else will be worthy of learning her recipes."

Announcer "Are you comfortable working in the same kitchen as her?"

Gir "Oh yeah, she's softer and gooier on the inside than the outside; like a pizza bite! She's a talented Baker too. She will make the dessert menue extra special for the tallest. I'm looking forward to eating from her cookie platters."

Announcer "So you have no hard feelings towards your old mentor?"

Gir "Mm...No, not really."

Announcer "None whatsoever? Despite how openly and viciously she bashes your skills as a cook?"

Gir "...No. I failed her on Conventia, but his lord, Sizz-Lorr took me under his command and my work is improving. I'm honored he gave me the opportunity to continue my training, but I wouldn't be anywhere today without learning everything first from Frylady Soo-Garr. I'm grateful for all the time I spent as an intern in her kitchen. I wish her the best forever and I hope one day she will find the food I cook enjoyable."

Gaz "Yeeeah! Choke on that slice of humble pie, fry-bitch!"

Announcer "That's...very big of you, Gir. What are you working on now?"

Gir "Batter, for the waffle bar. Sizz-Lorr liked my brinner station idea! Waffles are my specialty! And muffins! And nachos!"

Announcer "It's a shame there is no such thing as breakfast nachos."

Gir "SHHH! I'm trying something new!"

Announcer "Oopse! Well, I'm sure The tallest and all his guests are in for a treat. Is there anything you like to say to the empire?"

Gir "Hi empire!! Hi, Yeet! Hi, Vroog! Hi Mooti! Hi Goop! Hi Xuxu! Hi all my old customers on Conventia! Come celebrate on the jubilee and eat my food!! Contact me when you've completed your training and get a free day! I miss you!"

Announcer "Thank you for your time, Gir. Good luck; everything smells delicious so far."

Gaz "Wow, he didn't mention you at all. I'm so sorry, Zim."

Zim "I'm impirically shunned; if Gir publically acknowledges my existence he could be stripped of his apprenticeship or even incarcerated. I told him never to mention my name on a live broadcast. That's why he's setting up the waffle bar. That's his hello to me."

Gaz "I don't get it. What's with the waffles?"

Dib "You weren't there."

Gaz "Wait, what? When did- Waffles?"

Dib "Are you gonna be okay, Zim?"

Zim "I remember the first time I had to teach him how to empty his waste compartment. I remember when he could barely extend his PAK legs. Look at how grown he is now...I'm so proud of him--"

Gaz "Call him and tell him. I'm sure it would mean the world to him to hear you say that."

Zim "Gir's doing well now that I'm a shillion lightyears away. He doesn't need me anymore. He never needed me as much as I needed him in the first place; not really. I can't screw up this good life Gir is building. I would never forgive myself, even if he could."

(Zim WILL exact my revenge on Soo-Garr when the timing is right. For now watching Gir flourish is enough of a consolation for me.)