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phyx-m · 7 days ago

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Beneath The Silk | True form Sukuna x Reader

🔗 Masterlist

Chapter 2: Rip And Tear

Content warning: misogyny, angst, brief description of dead bodies, violence

🔗 Songs for this chapter:

Them - Jesse Draxler, VOWWS Follow - Android Lust

* * * * *

Chapter 1 | Chapter 3

* * * * *

It should have been your sister. She was the lovely one—kind and sweet, able to charm anyone with a pretty smile and a few words. Why did it have to be you? Was this your punishment for what you did to your mother? If so, you would gladly accept your fate. But you only wish you didn’t have to deal with a bastard like Ryomen Suku—

“Oi, brat! Time to wake up!”

Slap!

Your eyes crash open, and a dull sting radiates from the side of your face where you were struck.

Blinking rapidly, you find Sukuna's face alarmingly close to yours, noses almost touching. His warm breath brushes your cheeks, and you catch the faintest scent of blood. His large glowing orbs are so close that you can see their strange pattern. It was like a series of concentric rings, each nested perfectly inside the next, like ripples expanding outward from a single drop in a still pond.

You blink.

Memories of what happened before you fainted rush back.

His ravenous eyes eating their way into you.

You panic.

Heart hammering against your chest, you frantically scoot backward, kimono floundering around your legs, you kick up a storm of dirt and moss under your heels in a desperate attempt to distance yourself. The rough ground scrapes against your gloved hands and calves, but the fear propels you to keep moving, to get away from him.

Sukuna huffs and straightens to his full height. He circles his tongue behind closed lips, clicking it derisively. Then he crosses his upper arms over his chest, and the lower ones fold in, hands on hips. His face is one of indifference as he watches your panic unfold. His eyes, however, betray a hint of satisfaction, enjoying the spectacle before him.

As you shuffle away, you can't help but feel he's silently crafting new insults in his twisted mind, ready to hurl them at you in your vulnerable state.

Mutt. Bitch. Pathetic. Ugly.

Eyes lowering, you see your breasts are still exposed, and nipples peaked and throbbing from his advances. Your hands fly up to cover yourself. That familiar feeling of shame is all-consuming.

Upon closer inspection, you notice that your kimono is completely ruined. Though you shouldn’t care, you still need to arrive at the shrine, and you are a mess. The fabric is stained with sweat, dirt, and possibly saliva from his palm mouth. Additionally, the front panels of your garment are ripped open from where he descended upon you.

Images of Sukuna flood your mind: his chest pressed to your back, looming over you, warm breath, hands touching damp skin, hands dipping lower…

Your eyes snap up to meet his.

"What did you do to me?" you ask, striving to keep your voice steady so as not to provoke him. You are beginning to realize he is as unpredictable as the weather. Speaking of which, since regaining consciousness, you've noticed large charcoal-coloured clouds have drifted in and have finally relieved the sun’s oppressive heat.

Sukuna scoffs at your question.

"What did I do? I merely touched your virgin tits, and then you took a tumble. Pathetic, really," he remarks, raising his eyebrow to emphasize the word 'pathetic.'

A tumble.

Of course, he lacked the decency to support you when you fainted. You vividly remember the sensation of weightlessness as he let you fall.

You want to confront him about his disregard for your boundaries, but considering he's a monster, you doubt he would have any morality to respect them.

"You didn’t—" you swallow saliva, "you didn’t do anything else, did you?" you ask nervously.

His eyes flare.

“Didn’t what? Fuck you?" he responds with a note of delight in his voice, knowing it will unsettle you.

You nod slightly, your dishevelled hair falling past your shoulder to obscure your face.

"Trust me, you would know if I had," he sneers. You don't trust him. "Besides, you can rest assured I don’t plan on fucking you. I don’t fuck weak women. I prefer those who don’t pass out from the faintest of touches."

You hate him.

You’re not weak. You’re just... complicated. And in the moments before you turn him into a massive pile of flesh and bone, he will come to realize the mistake he's made.

Both of you lock eyes.

Looking up at him from the forest floor, you wonder how many have seen this as their final view right before he rips them apart.

How does he do it? Does he solely use teeth, or does he prefer to use his four hands? You've heard the rumours of his abilities and are grateful you've not experienced them firsthand.

In the distance, you hear a low rumble reverberating through the air, signaling an approaching storm fueled by the day's heat.

Sukuna's gaze shifts skyward, and a sudden cool breeze tousles his pink hair and blood-stained hakama. He seems at ease here, as if he belongs in this forest, like a creature in its natural habitat—feral. And that's precisely why your father wants him eradicated. Sukuna is too untamed.

He looks back down at you.

"Come," he orders, stepping forward and clamping a hand around your arm, causing you to jump. "It's time to attend our wedding before you further bore me and I decide to kill you," he adds sharply, yanking you upright.

You instinctively clutch the torn fabric to your chest, covering yourself. His gaze falls on your hands, and a sadistic grin appears, canines poking out. He takes pleasure in what he has done to you.

Sukuna gestures for you to move ahead, pointing south with his lower hands.

"After you, my ugly virgin bride," he belittles. A smirk overshadows his face and then disappears.

God, you desperately want to push back against his cruel words, but you restrain yourself. Instead, you avert your gaze, eyes narrowing in anger, mouth thinning.

As you brush past him, his aura briefly curls lazily around your neck before dissipating as quickly as it came.

* * * * *

More damn walking.

It feels like you've been out here for an eternity, though it’s probably only been a bit over an hour.

You now lead the way, with Sukuna following closely behind. The atmosphere between you two is silent, broken only by the sound of his footsteps and his occasional grunts when you stray off course. You let your kimono drag on the ground, gathering leaves and dirt, as you no longer care to keep it clean. Periodically, you feel a tingle directed at your nape, aware that he is staring at you.

The arches of your feet are starting to ache, but not as much as your tender breasts, the only reminder of what he did to you.

At this very moment, you long for your mother’s presence. You crave comfort, knowing your father won’t offer any. In fact, the asshole that he is, you believe he would laugh at you for the incident.

There’s another deep rumble in the distance as the storm draws closer. The wind begins to pick up, carrying with it the scent of rain. You welcome its arrival, craving something to witness its fury while you keep your emotions tightly bottled up—locked, secure, perhaps waiting to split open one day.

After walking for some time, you see a large structure peeking out of the treetops in the distance—the shrine.

Relief washes over you, knowing your sister is there.

Drawing closer to the tree line, you spot a wooden box partially concealed among the forest's undergrowth. It’s weathered and marked by time and nature. Curiosity pulls you closer, and as you pass, you peer inside. You find moth-eaten textiles that, in their prime, might have been of high quality. Seeing these tattered remnants makes you uneasy, but you ignore the feeling and keep walking.

Your eyes begin to notice a series of other objects scattered throughout the area. Broken ceramics, pottery, bags that might contain grain, and tiny silk pouches lie strewn across the forest floor, mixed with discarded, rusted relics.

They are offerings. Contributions. Something to appease the abomination at your back.

You wonder why so many of them lay out here instead of inside the shrine. Perhaps whoever brought them was too frightened to confront what lay within. You could understand that.

As your eyes continue scanning the forest floor, you finally spot what you dreaded seeing.

Broken white shapes tangled in the brush—skeletal remains of both humans and livestock scattered across the ground. Sun-bleached bones jut from beneath weathered, dry skin that clings like parchment. Skulls, still holding wisps of hair, catch the wind, making them dance.

Although the husks are few, they hint that something had consumed most of the remains. But you knew, god, you knew what ate them.

A lump of sick tries to push its way from your stomach to your throat, but you force yourself to swallow it.

Tentatively, you peek over your shoulder. Sukuna is following behind you with a sense of urgency.

His round muscular shoulders rock back and forth—bunching up, then releasing, bunching up, releasing, bunching, releasing.

Their rapid oscillation accentuates the speed of his gait. Each rhythmic swing of his muscles makes you restless.

His eyes climb down to meet yours. They seem to carry a silent, almost shuddering warning, urging you to turn your head and quicken your pace, which you do.

Eventually, you arrive at the forest's edge, with one foot stepping out from the trees. A firm hand suddenly grabs your shoulder, halting you. You resist the urge to swat it away.

Sukuna circles around to face you, his four eyes glaring down.

"A few matters to address before you enter your new home," he says, sounding both sarcastic and threatening all at once. "Firstly, understand this arrangement solely exists for my amusement. I get pleasure from witnessing your father’s torment as I take his precious daughter from him."

If only Sukuna knew how little your father cared for you.

“So, that’s why you agreed to this?” you ask.

You want to confirm what your father suggested: Sukuna relishes holding power over him. You know, there is a long-standing animosity between the two. Over the last few years, Sukuna has been encroaching on your clan’s territory, leading to a series of skirmishes to reclaim what was lost, most of which have been useless.

Sukuna stares blankly, digging his thumb into your shoulder, and continues, ignoring the question.

“As my wife in name only, I expect your obedience at all times. Lastly”—he pauses, drawing closer, the oppressive weight of his presence seeming to suffocate the air around you—“understand that you are my property. Should you ever run away, I will hunt you down and tear you apart. Understood?”

Your blood cools.

What if you fail to kill him and end up trapped here, unable to leave? And if you do manage to escape, you now have his warning to contend with.

That familiar prickling in your fingers returns.

You take a moment to steady yourself, ensuring your face remains neutral even as your heart beats violently.

Slowly, you nod.

Satisfied with your compliance, he releases his death grip and walks away.

“Is that what happened to the woman on the road? Did she run away?” you ask, unsure where the sudden bravery came from.

He stops.

With his back turned, he shifts slightly, casting a sidelong glance. You briefly glimpse his lower eye, wrinkling as it slowly sweeps over you. There's a slight twitch at the corner of his mouth.

His cloying aura rolls towards you, filling your head, it's heavy, gnawing at your nerves.

“Careful,” he warns. “I have little patience for nosy creatures.”

Inwardly, you laugh as he calls you a ‘creature.’ The irony isn’t lost on you—if anyone deserves that title, it’s him.

With nothing else said, he turns and strides out of the final row of trees, making his way toward the shrine. His lack of response shows that he doesn’t want you meddling in his affairs. That’s fine. You have secrets of your own.

Dumbass.

You ruffle your face to mock him behind his back. His big, stupid, giant back.

Without turning, Sukuna tips one of his lower hands into a crook and gestures for you to follow. You hurry to catch up.

Approaching the shrine, you see that it’s massive, reflecting the presence of its master. It’s constructed from strong, thick timber, beams and pillars carved from wood. They contrast against the dark, weathered stone of the foundation. Around it lies a strange desolation—no foliage grows near it, as if the forest itself has recoiled. And here you are, walking into its embrace.

Great.

As you climb the stone steps, you see your sister standing outside the entrance with a white-haired monk. At the sight of her, you feel your body relax. A subtle comfort fills you.

“Yuna,” you murmur her name, the sound escaping your lips as a shaky breath. But the relief is quickly overshadowed by everything that has happened—your hellish journey through the forest with Sukuna.

Your eyes swell as if a dam is being slowly filled. You rush past Sukuna, who mutters wordlessly under his breath.

Barreling up the steps, you hold your torn kimono to your chest. Your sister can see your distress and instantly rushes to meet you, pulling you close. Tears begin to fall, finally ruining the last traces of your makeup.

She rubs your back soothingly as you cling to her, knowing every moment with her will soon be gone. Tonight, she, your father, and your clan will depart, leaving you alone to face a task you are starting to believe is impossible.

Your sobs become uncontrollable now.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m here," she whispers, placing a gentle hand against your cheek. "No more tears, sister.”

Her words and actions, like your mother’s, relieve your aches and pains. Your tears dry slowly, and you sniffle once before leaning back to look at her. Her smile is the sweetest thing you have seen in a while, making you want to cry all over again.

Heavy steps echo behind you, and you tense, seeing as a shadow falls over you both.

Looking up, you see Sukuna observing your sister with an unreadable expression. Your sister's fingers hook into you as she returns his look with a challenging stare.

He scoffs at the display, then cuts his eyes to the white-haired monk.

“Uraume,” he grunts and gestures to you, “get this lot cleaned up.”

“Of course, Master Sukuna,” they say, with little emotion, bowing as they address him.

With one last disapproving look, Sukuna steps through the massive doors and disappears.

Uraume moves toward you and your sister, who are huddled together.

“This way,” they gesture toward the doors.

Thunder echoes again, and a drop of rain hits the top of your head. The storm is here.

You use one hand to hold up your torn kimono and the other to grip your sister’s wrist, determined not to let her go.

With all the courage you can muster, you step inside.

The shrine’s corridors are wide and deep, dimly lit by flickering lanterns hanging from the walls. Your shadow trails faintly behind you as you walk, and your feet meet the polished wooden flooring, which echoes softly with each step.

The air is thick with the scent of aged wood, mingled with rot and an iron-like tang that you try to avoid inhaling.

“Where’s Father?” you whisper to your sister as you follow Uraume.

“When we arrived, he was ushered away with the clan members. I assume they’re off being entertained,” she replies with a smile meant to reassure you.

You nod your head. You need to speak with him privately.

After a series of winding twists and turns, you arrive at what you can only assume is the back of the shrine. You've lost track of the path you took.

Uraume leads you into a private bathing room where a large basin of misting water awaits. To your relief, they allow your sister to stay with you.

Two of the shrine’s attendants enter and remove your torn kimono. You watch as the remnants of Sukuna’s touches are removed from sight.

You glance down at your silk gloves, now stained with dirt, and pull them off. Keeping your hands clenched into fists, you brace yourself as the attendants prepare for your scrub down.

Settling into the water, the cleaning commences with fervour. Your ruined makeup is swiftly removed, and your hair is washed and combed.

No one talks to you, and that’s just fine. After the day you've had, you are too exhausted to engage in conversation. The warm water soothes you, making you feel like you could fall asleep right there.

Across the room, you see your sister sitting there, pursing her lips as she watches all her hard work being undone.

Once they have finished their cleaning, you notice that they don’t apply any new makeup or fuss with your hair; you are left as natural as can be. They quickly dress you in a plain robe, and Uraume hurries you both off into another room before departing.

This new room will apparently be your personal living quarters. It’s spacious, with a well-kept futon spread out and a low table situated under a small, grilled window. You note the window size and know you won’t be able to squeeze through it if you want to escape. In the corner, a chair with a cushioned seat sits low to the ground.

You let out a deep sigh.

It doesn’t appear as a prison, though it feels like one.

You spot your small travelling trunk beside the futon, carried here by one of your clan’s attendants. Opening it, you take out a fresh pair of white silk gloves and slip them on.

The colour choice is deliberate, as you've noticed the kimono waiting for you on the futon.

You move toward the garment and lift it.

Its white base flows like the colour of bone—bone white. Like the fucking burial site you witnessed on the way here. You can only assume that your dear fiancé selected it for you. The front panels are lined in dark blue trim, creating a striking contrast. Next to the kimono is a matching obi.

Shrugging off your robe, your sister begins to help you dress.

As the kimono settles over you, it feels almost like a cage locking around you.

“Do you want to talk about what happened in the forest?” your sister says quietly as she maneuvers around you.

You tense up. You want to keep your emotions in check and not upset her.

“No,” you whisper firmly.

She remains silent and begins to wrap the obi around your midsection.

“Yuna, could you find Father and bring him here for me, please?” you ask quietly.

Your sister looks up from where she’s tucking and tying the obi into place. She finishes, then steps back.

“Of course,” she murmurs before leaving.

You pace the length of the room, mind running through different scenarios. Your fingers twist and knot together as though trying to find relief in their own frantic dance.

After several moments, the door slides open, and your father and Onishi enter and close it, leaving your sister nowhere to be seen.

You can already smell the sake on both of them, and that look of displeasure on your father’s face makes your hackles rise. Pursed lip, furrowed brow, squared shoulders.

“I see you are still useless,” he says, voice flat, almost slurring.

Your eyebrows crease.

“I tried. He had his back to me, and I made an attempt, but he sensed me. He’s inhuman. I’m not sure how to get this done, Father,” you whisper before pausing, “he didn’t take kindly to that, and then he assaulted m—”

Crack!

The violent slap echoes through the room.

It hurts.

Your vision darkens, and your head snaps to the side. A high-pitched yelp escapes you as tears sting your eyes. You can already feel a bruise forming on your cheek.

“Do you think I care what he did to you?” His eyebrows rise as if in a question, but you know better than to answer. “You’re a woman. You’re supposed to let him use you. Let him touch you. I don’t care. I don’t even care if he devours you piece by piece. Just get it fucking done,” he spits out.

Your bottom lip trembles at his words. Onishi leans against the closed door, laughing with a nasally chuckle.

Your father grabs one of your wrists and pulls it towards him.

“It wasn’t hard for you to touch your pregnant mother with these.” He gestures to your gloved hands, and your stomach sinks. “I don’t care how long it takes. Do the same to him.”

You blink several times, still reeling from the slap.

“How is there not another way? Why am I the answer?” you ask, voice trembling.

Your father yanks you closer, raising his hand to hit you again. You shut your eyes, cowering in resignation. You are too exhausted to resist, allowing your body to crumple under his grip.

Knock, knock, knock.

Your father pauses, turning his head toward the closed door.

“The ceremony is set to begin,” Uraume’s calm voice cuts through from the other side.

They might not realize it, but they have just saved you.

“We will be there in a moment,” your father responds coolly, then turns back to you. “Get it done, or I will persuade you in other ways,” he hisses in your face, drops your wrist, and leaves the room.

Onishi approaches and looks down at you, his eyes cold. He runs his thumb across his lower lip.

“You know, once you take down the beast, I’m sure your father will allow me to take you,” he says, reaching out to pinch your bruised cheek. You flinch at the touch. “That is, if you've not completely ruined yourself by then.”

He gives you one last cruel smile before departing the room, leaving you alone.

You hate him. You hate both of them. You hate all of them.

Thunder rumbles outside, shaking the shrine as the rain begins to pour. The floodgates have opened.

Your sister peeks her head into the room.

“Sister, it’s time to go,” she says with a smile, extending her hand. You take it, and carefully turn your face away so she can’t see the bruise on your cheek.

In silence, you both walk down the dimly lit corridor toward the ceremony.

Your hand instinctively moves to your face, and you compare this slap to the one inflicted by Sukuna. A surge of resentment rises as you realize that your father’s blow was far more brutal.

* * * * *

🔗 Chapter 3

#sukuna x reader #true form sukuna #beneath the silk #heian sukuna #jjk fanfic #dark content #sukuna x you

24 notes · View notes

jamrockshuffle · 1 year ago

Text

tes·ta·ment noun a: a tangible proof or tribute b: an expression of conviction

spotify link / image credit

izzy hands playlist; annotations, tracklist, and details under the cut

Updated 10/16/2023: literally so much manchester orchestra towards the end. but it's MY playlist I'll do what I want

A lot of kind of emotional, dark, passionate ed/izzy in this. So just keep that in mind :) This playlist was started last year. I think all of the songs fit still, but if you're looking for the more season 2 oriented content, I will mark the songs added since it aired. Hope you enjoy! It's nearly six hours I think I have a disease.

As per the uzsh the genres run the gambit. don't say I didn't warn you - All This Time / The Beta Machine

When you rose up this morning Did you take it for granted That I'd be there when you woke? That I'd still be there when you woke? [...] If you want me to adore you Better get up off the floor now I've said all I've had to say But maybe there's some better way

- Lost at Sea / Kellermensch

The war is over and I lost I learned the hard way not to trust It's getting easier every day To watch you slip further away

- You Should Have Known I'd Leave / Vast

Love is cold Love is blind Love is a sea And I don't know what you want But I know it's not me

- Blown Minded / Young Galaxy

In my heart I have lived without aught It's been the war of attrition Between a small-minded fool And sublime intuition

- Breathe / Puscifer

honestly lads I don't know what to say it just goes ok sorry

- Holy My Hand / UNKLE

- Touched / Vast

The razors and the dying roses Plead I don't leave you alone The demi-gods and hungry ghosts Oh god, god knows I'm not at home I'll never find someone quite like you, again I'll never find someone quite like you, again

- The Rat / Dead Confederate

This fucking song. I added it over a year ago but holy shit, has season 2 made it that much crazier. Honestly the entire song is just so... i don't even know what to tell ya tbh I would paste the whole song here if I could Shoot from the back And take good aim Make sure I'm dead Bang Bang 'Cause I'm a rat There's no mistake Under the bed Where you sleep Crush the skull And make me tame Sweep it up Hide it away No morals shown In no way explained Stupid human Shit for brains I am going feral over this song and how it slides in so neatly for season 2 so far (as of posting this, episode 3) I'll follow you Into the grave And at the gates I see the passing say "The judge be judged And all the wretched be saved" I throw my curse All across your days <3 ty for coming to my ted talk

- Lovesong / Snake River Conspiracy

might be a little controversial since it's a cover of the original by the cure, but this is more the kind of music I tend to listen to so that's what's in the playlist lol.

- Structure of Love II (Renholdër Remix) / VOWWS

Take a look at me now Have I disappeared? Is this the structure of love? Are you in here? I can't get you out of my mind Your love is so hard to define

- Tusk / Fleetwood Mac

I've said it before, I'll say it again. PERFECT edizzy song. If you think this is a stede/ed song you're wrong get the fuck outta here

- Bleak / Death Machine

Hold my breath Known I am one of the walking dead you say In my chest, there is a bombing It's made of flesh it's made of flesh

- The End Is Begun / 3

Watch what you say Words can be heard from your grave Pluck from a fist full of straws You cannot resist your tragic flaws And you said what you said That I'd be better off dead Than be fed into the furnace Of the monster Shall I cry, shall I die Shall I be shot through the sky As I fly into the furnace Of the monster

- Breadwinner / BEA1991

- Martyr / Roniit, Saint Mesa

Drop all your hunger, kill your dues So give me shelter, give me proof I'll be the martyr and the muse All of your sorrow, I'll consume

- Man Overboard / Puscifer

- Ennoea / Keluar

- Complicated End Times / O'Brother

You can try and measure what I do By the sweat in my brow But you don’t know a thing about me You want to snuff the fire out

- Goliath / Woodkid

A sustained heart pain and a dark fever How did I get fooled by such a savage curse? The more I forgive you, the more it backfires Now you're dancing through the smoke like nothing else matters

- Beat And The Pulse / Austra

- Spellwork / Austra

I work alone saving my soul If yesterday hurts, tomorrow is worse Send me a sign, for my body's aligned I'm ready to waste all my limbs and my face My pores are wide open And bleed for your potion Spellwork and lies

- Feral Love / Chelsea Wolfe

Your eyes black like an animal Black like an animal Crossing the water Lead them to die

- Drift / So Below

Even if you change your mind It doesn't have to mean that it's over Even when the moment's gone I feel the same Even when you bite your tongue It doesn't have to mean that it's over Even if it all goes wrong I feel the same way, hey

- Dancer in the Dark / Scratch Massive

Where did you go? My mind is gone I'm dancing in the dark Just silent and grey It's just silent and grey

- The More I Sleep, The Less I Dream / We Were Promised Jetpacks

I lost all hope I left it with someone, some time, somewhere ago And I picture it now The house on the hill, with nobody wandering around And I cry like hell I'm hugging the floor and pretending there's somebody else The more I sleep The less I dream The closer I feel Oh my word I'm nothing but a curse Oh my word I'm nothing but a-

- Ship in a Bottle / fin

Oh, captain, let's make a deal Where we both say the things that we both really feel I feel scared and I'm starting to sink And I only sink deeper the deeper I think

- Toma / Puscifer

Stole my patience, stole my pride Snatched the rhythm from my stride Kicked my certainty up the middle Knocked the wind out of my romantic side Hopes and wishes set aflame What's your purpose here, whatcha hope to gain? Took my dignity, you took my dignity Burned a lover so earned an enemy

- The Shore / Woodkid

I walked all day along the shore I was made for loving you I drown my pain in alcohol How could you feel the same way too? My feet will not walk anymore So I guess you ought to know the truth I wonder what I am made for If I'm not meant to be with you

- Restless (16BL Remix) / UNKLE, Josh Homme

Well, I'm all restless but I don't care You don't like me much, well, me neither You go read my mind like some kind of God You live, let's have you trippin' on the same one you lost

- Ship To Wreck / Florence + The Machine

And, ah, my love remind me, what was it that I said? I can't help but pull the earth around me to make my bed And, ah, my love remind me, what was it that I did? Did I drink too much? Am I losing touch? Did I build a ship to wreck?

- Lies / CHVRCHES

Always, we can sing, we can make time Old songs, flood and flame, you could be mine But you got to show me both knees, skin and bone Clothe me, throw me, move me 'til I can sell you lies You can't get enough Make a true believer of Anyone, anyone, anyone I can call you up If I feel alone I can feed your dirty mind Like I know, like I know what you want

- The End / The Beta Machine

A million miles away from you this time I'll do what it takes I'm on my way If lines are in the sand I'll go under If I can make it in time I will bring you back with me If all that's left of you is in my head This is more than a bad dream The end of all I know

- Jealous Sea / MEG MYERS

This whole song... like bruh lmfao Everything's right, everything's wrong When you call my name I can't handle the thought of always being gone When I'm wearing this ring And I want to go out, I want to get drunk Being in love and I don't want to fight But nothing makes sense anymore And I don't think I can stop the jealousy When it comes, it comes like waves and I can't breathe And I don't think I can stop the jealousy When it runs, it runs like lightening through my teeth I want you to tell me what to do I want you to tell me what you need When you look at me like you do Don't leave, I just can't get enough I just can't get enough

- Holy Water / Zippermouth

I don't want you to save me from the demons only you seem to see But don't you dare take my pride away and strip me of my sanity I'm calling all of you out I'm calling out of you in To the party of unnatural sin And my imperfections scare you, I can see it in your eyes Water That burns my bastard mind 'Cause I can love as good as one can love someone In a perfect world is one I will love myself before I will love you

- Die For You / VALORANT, Grabbitz

Now there's only one thing I can do Fight until the end like I promised to Wishing there was something left to lose This could be the day I die for you

- Choke / Hybrid

I'm not explaining myself to you

- Give It Up / Black City Lights

The fever's own Filling in my bones and my blood It's enough But I still can't take it off It's sickening Hands around my neck And my chest is burning with my breathing

- Elijah / Blood Red Shoes

- Love You Wrong / Husky Loops

I've thought about it all along I am sure I love you wrong

- Autumn / Bear In Heaven

Silent romance guided by chance, just like everything Altogether would it ever suffocate the pain?

- Hands On The Bible / Local H

Hands on the Bible Scared like a child God holds you liable For what you've done Homicidal Stared down your idols A pretty baby Never born You can't believe it You didn't mean it But they saw you do it And they know your name

- Touch / July Talk

I want to make some space underneath my skin Cut me open, I can let you in Should I let myself be torn in two? And will you give into that side of you?

- Avalanche / Kosheen

He's nothing like me So wrong and wretched Your safe reality Is living in sketches And live out happiness With no explanation And peer out at the world

- A Long Time Away / Shearwater

A break in the clouds like a crack in a cylinder But now there's blood on the beach and a wreck in the water As the shadow arrives on the face of your innocence You feel the shock in your eyes and the shaking in your own hands

- It's No Good / Depeche Mode

Don't say you want me Don't say you need me Don't say you love me It's understood Don't say you're happy Out there without me I know you can't be 'Cause it's no good

- Always Right / Ramona Falls

God is in the things you love So don't you punch me with kid gloves

- No Tomorrow / The Birthday Massacre

Dedication to the ruin of the light within you Darkness all around It's so easy to let go of all the things that make you true Watch it all fall down You bait me, I follow And if this night feels hollow Then drown me in sorrow There will be no tomorrow

- Flood / Saltillo

I wanna watch you wreck all the paintings in my house As you run down my wall (Holes of my life) Wash away these things I never needed These papers and these clothes

- The Remedy / Puscifer

izzy @ stede bonnet tbh. well, in season 1 at least ;)

- Little One / Beck

Drown, drown, sailors run aground In a sea change, nothing is safe And strange waves push us every way In a stolen boat, we'll float away

- Becker / Autolux

That's delirium's way You know it seems so right All the entertainment they spray Atrocities contrite It brings you back again It finds you every time The blackest quote they spit into the tin can of your mind

- Eyelids / Saro

In my eyelids, I’ve tattooed your words To remember what I don’t deserve Could you be why I feel so empty?

- Found You / Django Django

I've heard my name spoken in vain so many times You called, well here I am, what is yours is mine There's nothing you won't sell But I don't want the wealth you made That's not what I returned for

- Darkness At The Heart Of My Love / Ghost

There's a darkness at the heart of my love That runs cold, runs deep

- Dangerous / Son Lux

I watch you fall Hollow and depleted A city razed Oh, to bury you beneath it

- Numb / MARINA

- Fear and Loathing / MARINA

- O My Heart / Mother Mother

And I throw my heart back to the ocean But it don't go far, it come back floating And I watch it wash it up with the dead fish But it ain't quite dead, it just is like this

- Bones / The Qemists, Kellermensch

Fearless: my heart Open my arms Laying on the dark isle Every way is down

- El Monstro / SkraeckOedlan

(There beyond the dawn we see you, but our longing is an agony) Där bortom gryningen vi ser dig, men våran längtan är ett kval (They have robbed you of your future, we belong together you and I) De har berövat dig din framtid, vi hör tillsammans du och jag

- Relocate / Kauf

Do you feel any better now? I'm trying to follow what you told me I'm just a dog, mystical empathy and carefree I can't forget the skin pulled tight, every letter read Is it your justice we never see? Do you feel any better now? Your father is lying where the bones are A little lost colony from the start I can't forget the skin pulled tight, every letter read Is it your justice we never see? We never see what only you can say We are ready for it

-> SONGS ADDED AFTER SEASON 2 STARTS HERE

- Before We Drift Away / Nothing But Thieves

- A Place To Call Home / Big Wreck

So how do you beg for what's your own Pick the pieces, lick the wounds Stoke the fire, fan the flame Squeeze the clouds until it rains Would you champion the cause? 'Til you find out what you've lost Who do you dare to call your own And where's the place that you call home?

- My Name Is Ruin / Gary Numan

My name is Ruin, my name is vengeance My name is no one, and no one is calling My name is Ruin, my name is heartbreak My name is lonely, my sorrow's a darkness

- Run From Me / Timber Timbre

- Symphony No. 7 in A Major, Op. 92: II. Allegretto / Beethoven

- Because the Night / Patti Smith

- Dear Brother / Puscifer

Reminiscing on our indestructible days The party never seemed to end We donkey punched the night away Some risky business, my friend Fortune seemed to favor us 'Round every dark and twisted bend

- The Moth / Manchester Orchestra

This song makes me so insane tbh Forced myself to take a different name Buried with metonymy Decide for me Throw the man you used to be away Bury him with rivalry entirely My entire life you've been obsessing with the light The closer that you get, the further up you've got to climb You wanna hear it hurt, you wanna feel it when he dies If you walk that path alone, you've got to look him in the eye

- Brevony / Ramona Falls

- Graveyard Shift / Battle Tapes

I fell asleep at the helm of a runaway train And laid myself at the feet of what I couldn't slay

- Black Cloud / POSTDATA

There's nothing outside, there’s nobody left There's nowhere to hide, nowhere to run or to forget No one to find you if you ever tried to And nobody tries to Sand in the sky, drowning in the wind Look in my eyes, mama, I've been contaminated Little by little by little, just a little bit Can you forgive me? Can you forgive me?

- Keel Timing / Manchester Orchestra

Yet another song that makes me insane. I put too much Manchester Orchestra in here but I'm living my best life Don’t let 'em in your bed, we're lying Don't let 'em in your bed, he is lying Little more, a little more, he is biting I was folding slowly frozen Changed for you And it wasn't right, but it wasn't wrong It was holy

- Pale Black Eye / Manchester Orchestra

This entire Song is so fucking wild I don't have yours or mine I don't hurt you like I used to Amy, you must be tired cause when you sleep, you sleep alone And understand the throne Cause if he didn't pay what he had paid I'd undeniably become erased So whatever you want Take whatever you need And bite your veins Bleed your pain Into me Goddamn I'm tired of lying I wish I loved you like I used to So hold on, you pale black eye Cause when I sleep, I sleep alone

- Strawberry Letter 23 / Shuggie Otis

- Pygmy Love Song / Francis Bebey

- In The Dark / Cathedrals

I can see you fall apart You turn away and fade out of sight But I hear you call in the night Let it go, let me hold you this time (don’t say a word)

- The Sailor Song / Autoheart

ty @soundless-storm for the suggestion :) I was your sailor, your demon, your lover Your overbearing best friend Hoping for some attention

- Megalomaniac / Aeseaes

Eye to thigh as he sharpens his blade Thick sweat, sick salt, lead bellyaches I don’t know what I’ve been drinking Dripping dread as all the lights start scrеaming Seven-inch steel bolt fed to thе head Now is then and I am now bound to forget The devil wears a cotton dress over his gun Jagged mumbles wispy warbles blushing in the sun

- Rule #9 - Child of the Stars / Fish in a Birdcage

You were a wanderer Back when you were young I remember your eyes were clear Brighter than the sun With hands so soft Delicate and sweet You learned to fall And balance on your own two feet I could only lead you so far I believe in who you are

- Vessel / Dan Mangan + Blacksmith

There are other lyrics in this song that are good too but this just reminds me of 2x01 when Izzy tells Fang to unhand him when he starts to cry Stop Wait Un Hand Me

- Cover Me / Black Math

One hand above the skin My head below the water As I float in the deep As I float in the deep

- Let It Storm / Manchester Orchestra

This is very post 2x04. For the new unicorn :) I don't wanna hold back my faith anymore I don't wanna fall into that man again I just wanna keep both my feet on the floor So let it touch me And let it storm

- Disciple / IAMX

Sorry this song is kind of a lot lol Disciple, I absolve you So forgive yourself enough to obey the naked truth That you need to be owned And you beg to be controlled

- Bed Head / Manchester Orchestra

This song is SO season 2 ed/izzy it makes me so insane it's the entire fucking song tbh I'm posting most of the song lyrics sorry. "Bed Head" is two old friends existing in two separate realities. It's a conversation about the lives they lived, the consequences of life's decisions, and finding purpose in trying to be better. Arguing with the dead I'm not alone but it sure feels like someone left Deaf notes and talking heads Carrying on your debt Blood on the bed head and volumes you left unsaid Let 'em talk and let it habit, now I'm afraid you're alone Oh, my God Let me relinquish and start to distinguish my past, and my time You and I are oil and fire, so Oh, my God Let me extinguish the habit, the sequence, the loss in my mind Now I believe in the ghost Ghost Clawing against your skin Clutching my neck said, "It's all supposed to end like this" You and I are panoramic Now I'm afraid of the ghost [...] Right by the entrance, you broke Finally, reality's taking its hold You're not who you were, but you can't let it go You're not where you're from, but you're always alone So I stick a flag in the ground I think I know who I'm living for now I am what I am, same above as the ground It's not what I want, but I'm figuring it out

I'll keep updating the annotations as I have free time :) the playlist is almost 80 songs long and growing lol. Enjoy!

#ofmd #our flag means death #izzy hands #fanmix #thanks for coming to my ted talk once again #i'm feral #blackhands #edizzy #listen I know they're going thru it rn but don't @ me I'm fine

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